My professors tell me I need to ease the reader more.  I need to give a better introduction.  But I don’t want to do that.  I want to jump in without sunscreen and two minutes after eating.  I want to cross the road without looking.  I just want to go.  And to map out in [...]

As a child my mother and father took us ice skating, in what feels like, every year. We were very Texan about it– in the mall. This made me miss them. So fun! Childlike. (The girl in red is my very best Greek/Palestinian friend. The two guys are Dutch and quite possibly the most in [...]

I did week five and on time! I just didn't post it for some reason. Hm.

Anyways, I made Garlic & Brown Sugar Chicken. I found the recipe on Pinterest which took me to THIS link I read a lot of the reviews and implemented some of them such as lining the baking dish with foil. It was easy to make and pretty quick. Next time, I'd marinate the chicken for awhile with teriyaki sauce or something of the like...

The recipe as is gives it a nice glaze though. I'll definitely make (a variation) of this one again.

I realize that this is not a very appetizing picture. After JLN and I had started eating he asked, "Weren't you supposed to take a picture?!" Thus... this is it. With his iPhone. (We had mashed potatoes and sauteed squash and zucchini on the side.) The picture on the recipe website looks way better.

Speaking of Pinterest recipes, Carrie Jo hosted a Superbowl party yesterday and I made Cookie Dough Dip (Hello fat fat) and JLN made Pizza Dip. (Seriously, he made it all by himself. I was so proud. He was too. So cute.) Both are/were delicious. I brought the leftovers to work because goodness knows I don't need that stuff lurking in my refrigerator.

I feel like I'm pretty good at spelling but "refrigerator" is one of those words that always takes me two or three times to get right. I always add a "d".

Otherwise, I cut four inches off of my hair last week. And got bangs. I dig it. My new glasses have been shipped and I should be receiving them this week. Maybe there'll finally be a picture of my face.

Until then...

Today is a very happy day for many reasons but the number one reason in my book is...drum roll please...IT'S FREEZING!! I know that doesn't sound like good news but what I mean is it is actually freezing (32*F) and lots of the snow is melting and things don't feel as cold. Believe me, it really is a YEA! moment. Good luck Giants; I'm waiting for an upset!!

It’s winter in Bulgaria. The stray dogs who make it have to be morbidly obese. Stay tuned, for an essay about Camcheto and my new project:

I forget exactly what this story was

but when the Nazi's were looking

for Jewish people during WW2 this

was a hideout. I do remember Thomak

saying someone hid behind the

plant/tree you see here.

I'm a sucker for "cute" pictures!

Isn't this bridge cool?

Not going to explain. Think WW2 and

Jewish people. Need more, email me

personally or comment on my

blog with your email and I'll be

glad to explain!

I had no idea!! Max Factor started

in Europe, more specifically Krakow

Poland! This was where it started;

I believe Thomak said the creator

was the first millionaire in Europe...

or something along those lines.

This is the section of Krakow where

the furniture...well, it's in my last

blog and I'll let you read about it!

Our tour went by the Schindler Museum.

You don't know who Oscar Schindler

was???LOOK HIM UP!!! I learned that

he himself actually wasn't the idea

originator of "the list", he had help!

Either was, it's always encouraging

to read about people who stand

up/find a way around injustice!

Again at the Schindler Museum.

Sorry you all have to strain your

necks!

I know The Giants are not predicted to

beat the Patriots but there have been bigger

upsets before and I would like an

upset. GO GIANTS!! Thoughts and prayers are

in Indy this weekend praying for a clean

game with no major injuries. Also that

my family and friends in Indy can get around

without too many problems!! Love and hugs

from here!! I read somewhere where someone

said they were happy because it isn't too

cold. I'm jealous. We're having the winter we

should have had last winter.

Although I've spent a significant amount of time in Bulgaria, there are still so many things that are foreign to me. The recent weather has been just that. I've experienced cold before, but this is ridiculous! I walked to work the other day when it was 5 degrees Fahrenheit, and that was without wind! The internet told me that wind brought the temperature down to -20, and it seemed to always be windy while I was outside! So, so cold! To point out a silver lining, though, a week before the big cold hit, there was a terrible rain storm! When I left the bar, my stubbornness prohibited me from taking a taxi home. I hate taxis with a passion! Anyway, I walked home and got soaked to the bone. In fact, because of the fear of air flow here, and lack of heat, my jacket and shoes were wet for a full week! But my heavy wool pea coat was made in America by union workers and it kept me warm despite the wetness!

The cold has been quite unpleasant, but this weather has not been without beauty. Last week, I was looking out the window from the bar and it seemed to be snowing, but the snow was not all falling, and it wasn't white. I had to ask. Iliyan told me that was the humidity in the air, freezing to form tiny ice crystals which reflected the light from street lights like millions of tiny prisms floating in the air. It was incredible! I was in total awe - until I had to go home... It was a windless night, and the twinkling in all directions made me feel like a fairy prince in a magical land, but by the time I got home, my scarf had frozen solid from the moisture in my breath!

That was a first. Snow is not foreign to me, though. I grew up playing in the white stuff, and I love it! But somehow, the snow this year in Bulgaria is different from what I know. I'm familiar with different sized flakes, but in one way or another, they always just look like shaved ice to me. Until recently. It was the final predicted day of super cold, before next week's regular cold begins, and my jacket was collecting a lot of snow flakes on my way home from work at 2am. They caught my eye in a moment because they looked like the paper snowflake cut-outs that I used to make in school for Christmas cards and such. They were clean and perfect and amazing! Just like the paper ones I used to make! Impossibly beautiful with their exquisite symmetry and infinite uniqueness! And they were everywhere I looked! Billions and billions of them, falling from the sky individually, not tangled with others, not forming shaved ice, just perfect snow! But it was cold so I went inside.

Beyond the weather, there are still other things foreign to me, like the language. Even though I speak as good as a local (a local 4 year old), language mistakes are inevitable. Usually, the magnitude of those mistakes is controllable. Usually. I was walking home from the bar with Adele, the French gal that is volunteering in our office. She was telling me that she may have to go home for some time. I thought I heard the reason as being that her grandmother had a concert. Cool! How many grannie bands do you know?! When I got excited she stopped me and tried to explain further. It took us a few minutes, but I finally got it - her grandmother doesn't have a concert, she has a cancer... Man, did I feel like a jerk. So, I blamed my mistake on her accent.

Another incident happened when I thought I must be misunderstanding, but understood perfectly. Among the group that I hang out with is an Orthodox priest. I've seen him at several functions - he once tried to bless me with some holy water flung from some herbs on Nikolov Den (the fish holiday). Every time I see this guy, he's wearing his full uniform, as if he had come directly from church. So, we were all at a bar, celebrating a birthday, and someone made the joke that I needed a Bulgarian woman. I get this one a lot, and I like hearing it - you never know what someone might end up offering. So, I agreed to the accusation of needing a Bulgarian woman and the priest says, "Or you could just get a magazine." Haha! I laughed so hard because it was so inappropriate that I thought I must have misunderstood, which made it even funnier to me. Later, Iliyan explained that I had understood correctly, and it was funny because it was a joke. (?)

The jokes I hear quite frequently are funny because my sense of humor is so flexible. I mean, I love bad jokes, but some jokes really push the limits. Here are two that I've heard in the last couple days that are absolutely not worth repeating:

The Flash was cruising along and came upon Spider Man.

"Hey, let's go get some girls!"

"No. I have to make this web..."

The Flash continues on to Batman.

"Hey, let's go get some girls!"

"No, I just saved the world and I'm tired."

The Flash continues on and on; Superman, Aquaman, Hulk, Ironman, everyone! Finally, he sees a really pretty girl on the top of a building making some really sexy movements. So, he goes really fast, cause he's the Flash, and fucks her quickly, cause he's the Flash, and then leaves!

"Invisible Man, did you feel something?" She asks.

"You have to ask my ass."

A horny samurai girl walked into a bar and went around until she found the guy with the biggest package. She pulled him into the bathroom and took off his pants to give him a blowjob, but his package was too big for her little mouth. She pulled out her sword and cocked it back.

"No! No!" He screamed!

"There is no no!" She yelled, as she swiped her sword to cut her mouth so it would open further!

Anyway, something that is not foreign to me is fun! Despite the cold, the snow, the wetness, the bad jokes and misunderstandings, I'm still having an awesome adventure!

So for those of you who don’t know Eastern Europe has been hit with a terrible cold snap.  It has …Continue reading »

Last week, we got a lot of snow. It was beautiful, and I had a lot of fun. Now, it's just cold. Actually, it's still really beautiful, but it's difficult to appreciate given how cold it is. Things have gotten worse than this, and I look worse than this. Record low temperatures are the norm. My pipes are frozen, and no matter how many layers of insulated socks, long-underwear, and fleece I put on, and no matter how many wool blankets I climb under, I can't escape the chill. But I'll survive. And this is the last winter I'll ever spend in a cold weather place. Life is too short, and it's just better in sandals (or barefoot).

We have three dogs. Karolina is my guard dog.

No Name is a dog we rescued from a kid with a pitbull.

Pupa is my girl. However much fun she was having, I was having more.

The heavy snow and cold weather has brought interesting birds into the yard. A European Robin has been in picking berries, and a Wren has been picking up scraps. Both are common species, but I don't recall having seen either in the yard before. I know this is the first Fieldfare I've seen in the yard (again, Fieldfares are common in winter in Bulgaria). It's taken up residence in the apple tree, feasting on the leftover apples.

This was too amusing not to share. A California Sun delivery van snowed in in Bulgaria.

my story of peace corps / bulgaria, kari strange, 2009-2012

This is my attempt to show, in video and photographs and dance and song, the magic of my Peace Corps service from 2009 to 2012. It is my first time using iMovie, so please forgive any mistakes in the formatting. Also, please note that the contents of this video are mine and do not reflect the US government or the Peace Corps. Thank you and I hope you enjoy! From: MsStrangeK Views: 7 0 ratings Time: 06:22 More in Nonprofits & Activism

I sat down this afternoon all set to do my blog and my computer started messing with me. Everything's fine now. I forget exactly where I left off but we boarded a night train headed to Krakow, Poland at about 6, or 8-I can't quite remember, the evening of the 26th. This time it was an 11 hour train ride. We got to K in time for breakfast and then headed for the hostel to drop our stuff. We took a tour of the hostel and then headed out to change money. Poland uses the zloti and when we were there it was about 3z for every 1$. Immediatly we were drawn to the Christmas markets and toured those for awhile. We discovered a walking tour starting after lunch and decided to join that. Our guide's name was Thomak, or Thomas, and, since we were a little early for the tour, he decided to have everyone introduce themselves and tell where they were from. YOU ARE TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT! If Jez and Rachel weren't with me the whole time I would have sworn they had something to do with this! I said I was from Indianapolis and he said "isn't there a basketball team or something in Indianapolis?" I gave Jez my cup of hot chocolate and went and gave him a hug. I asked him later what he knew bout the bball team in Indianapolis and he said that was about it. Since the tour itself was around 4 hours and we hadn't had an actual lunch, I decided to forgo the chit-chat in order to keep our stomachs happy. What are the odds??? The tour ended up being very nice and informative! We saw where Max Factor, the makeup brand, started and learned something, which is gone from my brain now, pretty cool about Star Trek. He took us to the Schindler Museum and we saw part of the actual wall that seperated the Jewish people from the rest of Krakow. Lots of history there; most of it appaling but history nonetheless. We saw the section, kinda like a center square, of Krakow where, after the liberation at the end of WW2, the German officers/soldiers raided the homes of Jewish people and literally threw all their furniture out of the windows to the center below. Today there are statues in the shape of chairs scattered throughout this part of Krakow. More on that later. At the end of the tour, we gave donations since it was a free tour and I threw in an extra 5z because he mentioned basketball. We went back to the Jewish section we had been to earlier and had a late lunch/early dinner. Then it was time to go actually check in to the hostel. We hit up the Christmas market more that night and discovered this cupcake place that just happened to be right next to our hostel. That was a sign right there I'll tell you what!! We each enjoyed a different kind and then of course had to try a bite of the other 2. We saw on the sign that the flavor for the next night was oreo, grasshopper, and another flavor that was a big draw, and made a pact to go back the next night. I think we headed back to the hostel after that and called it a night. Oh yeah! Jez and I went for a walk, got some adult beverages and chips, and sat on a bench and chatted for a bit. After awhile the conversation paused for a bit and she says, in Bulgarian, "I think that we should speak in Bulgarian now because I have a homework assignment from my tutor to speak Bulgarian some during this trip...and YOU DO TOO!" Her tutor is a very nice lady who I met once when I was visiting, and makes awesome banitza, and knew we were going to be together. I thought it was pretty funny. I think we called it a night after that and I am now going to as well! It's COLD here!! I think today it was -14*C which is about 6*F. Classes have been shortened all over B because of the cold temperatures. Stay warm wherever you are and love and hugs from here!!

I made a video to celebrate the end of my two years as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Bulgaria. When I posted it on YouTube I was surprised by all the negative comments I received from Bulgarians about the depiction of their country. I would like to have a turn to speak. First of all, I never set out to make a documentary film about the Bulgarian nation and all that it encompasses. Like the title and description of the video reads, I took video footage of the Bulgaria that I saw and knew best. And the Bulgaria I know best is the Muslim minority. For people to say that this is not Bulgaria, however, is to deny the fact that there is a vibrant minority population that holds Bulgarian citizenship and, yes, is therefore Bulgarian too. To be Bulgarian is not a singular thing. Bulgaria is not just Sofia. It is rural too. It Orthodox Christian, Muslim, and Roma.

Critics say that this video is not Bulgaria. What is not Bulgarian about it? People are eating banitza and dancing the horo. Kids are playing in the snow and celebrating the New Year. Men are slaughtering a sheep to celebrate a holiday. People are kuchecking at a wedding, playing football, and drinking rakia. There are huge blocks and houses with red roofs, mountains, sunflowers, roses, and the black sea. This is Bulgaria. And just because some women, in some shots, are wearing traditional muslim attire, does not make it any less Bulgarian. The critics are right that Bulgaria is more than footage from one village. My video is shot in Altimir, Gorno Dryanovo, Blagoevgrad, Sofia, Pavlikeni, Gotse Delchev, Kazanluk, Razlog, Ribnovo, Shiroka Luka, Bansko, Garmen, Rila, Sozopol, Ognianovo, Varna, Buzludzha, and Burgas. But they choose not to see the rest of Bulgaria because they are too focused on discriminating against the Bulgaria they don't approve of. My message to them: learn to embrace diversity.

You know its cold when.......

you've been gone all day and when you get home and walk into the kitchen the thermometer says 36 F/ 2 C. Does that make the inside of my fridge warmer than the inside of my kitchen? I'm wearing long underwear, a sweater, a fleece jacket, a fiber-fill vest and a winter coat (5 layers) and am still cold. the first thing I want to do is boil water to put in a hot water bottle to put inside my clothes.frost makes gorgeous designs on the window - on the inside!the soup on the enclosed balcony is frozen (lots or air leaks there). I'm grateful I still have electricity and water. Some places in Bulgaria don't. I'm grateful to have a big enough bathroom that is all tile, that I can hang laundry in it and not have to hang it outside. Because the temperature is cold, the snow is not melting, so it's still pretty beautiful.

Dear friends… Last night, around midnight, I received an email from Martha Howard, the associate director of the William and Mary graduate accounting program. I use …

Even though I’ve got almost seven months left in my service, I couldn’t help but thinking a recent trip to Калофер (Kalofer) brought my time here full circle. In many ways, the trip epitomized my experience in Bulgaria, but it also made clear that – no matter how long I live here, no matter how well ingrained in the culture I become, no matter how much of Bulgaria I see and experience, no matter how well I get to know Bulgaria and Bulgarians – Bulgaria is a place I’ll never completely understand. The contradictions are just too great.

As I’ve mentioned before, Български именни дни (Bulgarian Name Days) are a big deal. At a minimum, name days are celebrated in much the same manner as birthdays, and many Bulgarians consider their name days to be much more important than their birthdays and celebrate accordingly. Tied to the calendar of the Bulgarian Orthodox Church, a name day is a day of the year designated to celebrate the name and life of a specific saint. Everyone, male and female, named after that particular saint celebrates on the day set aside for that saint. Some, but not all, name days are associated with certain specific traditions. On Никулден (Saint Nicholas' Day), for example, a stuffed carp is traditionally prepared and served at dinner, while on Гергьовден (Saint George's Day) a lamb is sacrificed and served.

Йордановден (Jordan’s Day) or Богоявление (the Epiphany) is another name day with very specific traditions, and it is what brought me to Kalofer. Although celebrated differently across the country, the celebration is tied to Jesus’ baptism by John the Baptist in the Jordan River. The celebration in Kalofer is famous in Bulgaria, and it draws hordes of visitors annually, along with lots of journalists, photographers, and camera crews.

Without a place to stay and no information as to the specifics of the event, I arrived a day early in the hopes of securing some lodging and getting the scoop on the celebration. A mini bus picked a group of us up at the train station and dropped us off in the center of town.

The first thing I noticed was a large monument of Христо Ботев (Hristo Botev) towering over the town square. Botev is a beloved poet, revolutionary, and national hero, and if Bulgaria had its own version of Mount Rushmore, his would almost certainly be one of the four faces represented. Hence, it wasn’t surprising to see a monument in his honor, but it was surprising to discover a place where he is more beloved than Враца (Vratsa). As it turns out, Botev was born in Kalofer (he was killed in the mountains near Vratsa), and Kalofer combines the Epiphany with a celebration in honor of Botev’s birthday.

Anyway, upon arrival I quickly located a visitor information center and went to ask questions about accommodations and the celebration. But, on the eve of the town’s biggest annual event, the visitor information center was not open. So, I just walked around town trying to figure out where I was going to sleep and what would be transpiring in the morning. With one exception, every guest house I attempted to enter was locked, and they weren’t answering their doors or phones. The “river” where the Epiphany was to occur was a trickle of a stream no more than a couple inches deep and a couple feet wide. None of it made any sense to me.

It was now nearly lunchtime, and I wandered back to the town center. The only restaurant in town that seemed to be working was full, so I walked over to a guy selling fruit to buy some mandarins. After buying a kilo of mandarins, I asked the guy when and where the celebration would be. Following his instructions, I retraced my steps back in the direction from which I’d just come and found a couple guys beginning to construct a dam. Things were beginning to make sense, but I still needed a place to stay and I was hungry for something more than mandarins.

I walked back to the town center and saw a place which was advertising rooms for 10 leva per night. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I peeked in the window, but the place was dark and no one was working. Undaunted, I dialed the number of the place thinking maybe there was someone working somewhere who might pick up. Just as I was finishing dialing, a familiar face came walking through a nearby door. I couldn’t believe it. It was Илия (Ilia). This guy was a friend of a friend who I’d first met when he’d picked me up at the train station in Казанлък (Kazanlak) when I’d been there for the Rose Festival. I’d since run into him in Shabla and Sofia, and he was someone I’d come to trust.

He told me that his family ran the guest house I was trying to call, but, unfortunately, this was their last day running it. He said he knew of a couple other places worth trying, including one place that was basically a hostel. After a quick and disappointing lunch back at the restaurant, he joined me in an attempt to secure a bed. His luck wasn’t any better than mine – the hostel’s doors were locked and no one answered our knocks or calls – so, after we checked on the progress of the dam, he offered me a spot on the floor of his guesthouse with some Couch Surfers who would be arriving soon. I took him up on the offer and let him get back to work while I minimally helped with the dam and snapped some photos of the real dam-builders.

After a short nap in the sun, I returned to the guesthouse. Илия had sleeping pads and sleeping bags and a barn heater to keep the place warm, but he was intent on getting me a mattress to sleep on. The mattresses were in a storeroom under stacked tables and chairs. Despite my protests, Илия pulled and pulled, sending chairs toppling into empty bottles which were soon smashing onto the floor. Илия didn’t care and he wasn’t going to stop until he’d emerged with a mattress. I helped by balancing chairs while Илия tugged on and twisted a mattress until it finally broke free. The mattress was claimed by a Couch Surfer nicknamed принцеса (princess) by her friends who knew nothing of the work it took to get it out, but Илия’s kindness was not lost on me.

Илия soon filled me in on the details concerning the Epiphany. In a nutshell, everyone would stay up all night drinking. Around 7:30 a.m., everyone would head to the river. At 8:00, everyone would jump in the river and dance horo.

Things could have gone exactly as Илия suggested. We did join him and his friends at a house party where they were more than happy to share their food and drink, and, if we’d wanted to, we could have stayed until the next morning. But I bowed out early and headed to the river an hour earlier than that because I wanted to take photos. The photos below don’t do the event justice. Video is better, but, next time, if there is a next time, I’ll be in the water.

Here are some shots from around town the day before the festivities.

Construction of the dam was a fairly typical endeavor. A few guys who knew what they were doing managed the operation. A few more guys who followed instructions well and were hard workers did everything. And a bunch of guys who thought they knew better but were too lazy to lift a finger stood around and watched, barking out wholly unconstructive criticism and otherwise taking up space and oxygen.

While all of this was going on, unsupervised children were playing with fire ... literally.

Grandmas were dozing in the unseasonably warm afternoon sun.

And grandpas were navigating the icy sidewalks.

The following morning, the real fun started.

I clearly did not know what I was talking about when I titled my last post. It’s waaay colder in Bulgaria right now. Like super super cold. After we were slammed with a snow storm last week (two feet in Chiprovtsi in two days, major highways shut down, and emergency zones declared for much of the country), a “Siberian Cold Front” moved in with temperatures not forecasted to get above freezing for as far as the 10 day forecast goes. This morning, around 11 am, the temperature was minus 11 degrees Farenheit, windchill was minus 25. Schools are closed and people are staying indoors. Even the international news has paid attention (48 people have died from exposure related causes across Eastern Europe in the past few days). I’m staying warm-ish, but despite letting my pipes drip, they froze overnight. Not that I would have taken a shower anyways as my shower room is not heated. I sleep/live in my kitchen and it’s the only room I keep heated. The rest of my apartment is pretty cold… the distilled water I keep in my living room froze last night. If it gets too bad, I'll go stay with one of my friends in town with a wood stove, but for now I'm enjoying an excuse to make lots of hot chocolate and eat bowls of semi-heated cookie dough/other baked care package comfort foods.

Dozens freeze to death as 'extreme cold' grips Europe

In other news, I had a good week last week and a fantastic weekend. Spelling Bee, adult English, scouts-all went well and Chiprovtsi really does look breathtaking after a blizzard. On Friday, I went to Sofia to meet a group of volunteers to celebrate one of their birthdays. We sang karaoke (Neysa and I did a Bulgarian song-so funny and so terrible; the other PCVs who sang were all super talented and wonderful, we had a lot of heart…), ate amazing food, attended a music festival, went shopping, watched youtube clips of Toddlers and Tiaras, and bought a day pass to a gym (using an elliptical machine and showering in a warm…don’t have words to describe how great this was). Love my fellow PCVs!

Neysa and I singing "Taka Me Kefish"

Dear Tori,

I have not written a blog in quite a while because I have been super busy. I have many things on my mind and not a lot of time to elaborate on all of them.

Christmas was fantastic. I stayed in Bregovo, got fat, ate a lot, drank a lot, and went on my usual 6+ Christmas nagostis, ending at my counterpart's house.

My actual birthday, I was at school. My colleagues surprised me with a cocktail in the teacher's lounge. I received a huge Bulgarian clock to help me get to school on time :) It was so nice, got lots of hugs, kisses, and presents from my little kids. They are so sweet. I definitely do not deserve any of this. I kind of just try not to think about it. I made cookies and printed out the recipe in Bulgarian and handed it out to all the colleagues and store owners here. I had an apartment party, where I cooked for everyone. I know I'm not the best cook....so my food MOST DEFINITELY got judged by my Bulgarian friends. My counterpart is so sassy. She admitted to me during the party that she didn't like the food I would bake 2.5 years ago....but then tried to make me feel better by telling me that I have gotten better at cooking and baking....but only a little bit. I love her anyways :)

After a month that started like S*#!, I was in need to see other volunteers. This past Saturday, I celebrated my birthday with other PCVs and several BG friends. It was the best weekend in a long time. I will be friends with these people FOREVER. I love the support that I got. Being snowed in for a little bit, it was great to get out of the village and according to Tom and Donna from Parks and Rec, sometimes you have to "treat yo self." And yes, I treated myself. I went to the gym for the first time in 32 months....still soar. I walked in there with a baba bag and snow boots, since I didn't bring any running shoes. No shame.

I love PCVs and all that we do for our sites, but what I love the most is the support system that we have for each other. We call each other all the time when things go bad, we treat each other when someone needs something, and we celebrate together once in a while. It makes seeing these people even better when you don't get together that often. My point is, I had a wonderful time and it definitely got my mind of the things that have been happening recently, personally. Also, I am glad that I had the Bulgarian skills to yell and scream at mtel. Babas have raised me for 3 years....i know I to yell in Bulgarian and get my way :)

Construction of the room is moving along. I believe all that is left is the ceiling, lights, and the cooling/heating system. For Bulgaria, work is surprisingly on time :)

Looking forward to planning a grand opening.

Koubi’s Louisiana Visitors Guide A List of Suggestions for Wedding Guests Dear Friends and Family, As part of our wedding invitation, we would also like to invite you to visit the Louisiana that Erin and I love so much. There’s so much to do in this state, and time will certainly be short for most [...]

This is my first entry since returning from the Peace Corps. What a tough transition it's been. Finally feeling great and wanted to share a couple photos in case anyone still checks this blog. I had a minor surgery last week and am recovering well. You see my nurse, Olga and my mom shot the photos. I was in good hands.

I have been reading and writing and looking out at Lake Michigan. Not a bad place to be.

So rather than upload the rest of the trip in blog form, I thought it would be easier just to post that we went through Parish, where we saw churches and met some Australians and visited Napoleon. We then went to Dublin and drank. You can see the photos here: https://picasaweb.google.com/117556744215746586383 Enjoy my cop-out.

Here are a few photos of winter beauty in the village where I live. This week temperature highs are supposed to be between 10 F - 16 F and nights dipping below zero. Enjoy!

Last monday was Chinese New Year, and one of your jobs as a Peace Corps Volunteer is cultural exchange.  That …Continue reading »

Jez and I with the Charles Bridge

in the background.

Rachel and I with the C.B in the

background.

entering the C.B.

walking across the bridge. You

can see the Prague Castle in

the background, or at least I

think that's the P.C.

this was just looking down a street.

I think the streets in Europe

are just so cute with their narrowness

and architecture.

Rachel and I overlooking Prague. Now

there's a sentence I never thought

I would say!!

Jez and I. I told myself the hat, untied,

makes me look like an Amish girl with

her braids and bonnet.

I just wanted to write a post marking this tremendous occasion where I Miss S have a Snow Day.  My first working …Continue reading »

For many reasons, time is passing more quickly than I've been writing in my blog. I've been back in my busy weekly routine and I also had a few days of sleeping while not feeling well. I'm good to go now and I've made an executive decision (easy to do when no one else is involved). This final blog about my wonderful trip to Istanbul will focus on highlights during the last 4 days of my visit rather than a narrative, like I have been doing.

Day 5, Thursday, December 29

Ourgoal was to get to Topkapi Palace as close to opening time as possible to avoidcrowds and we did just that. My first“new input” for the day was the entrance sign with had two prices – one forTurkish citizens and one for tourists – which was significantly higher (something like 20 Turkish Lira and 35 TL).Apparently this is not uncommon – in Bulgaria as well – but it was news tome.

Topkapi Palace is another amazing architectural feat from the late 1400s. It has 300 rooms, 9 Turkish baths, 2 mosques, 1 hospital and a giant harem. Located in a spectacular spot overlooking the Bosphorus….It’s immense. Themuseum has quite an assortment ofhistorical weapons, clothing and tools. Many were splendidly designed with hundreds, if not thousands of avariety of gemstones. I was mostimpressed with the 86 carat, pear-shaped diamond on display (The Spoonmakers Diamond). Wow! It was gigantic – very impressive. There were other things that impressed me as well – a sword that was sohuge I’m sure it was impossible for any one person to lift. I’m not sure what the purpose was of thisparticular weapon – did more than one person lift and use it together? There were also some articles of clothing in“XXX-Sultan” size. When it’s a hugecaftan it’s very big! Check out the Topkapi official website for lots of information, gorgeous photos and even a virtual tour.

After 3 1/2 hours wandering the palace and grounds Tricia and I rendezvoused for lunch and then went our separate ways. This was the beginning of our new traveling mode. We've seen everything we both wanted to see and now our desires diverged some so we each headed in our own direction before meeting up for our evening activity of visiting a Sufi "Whirling Dervish" dance ceremony. It was interesting, but I must admit I was a little disappointed from what the website presented. It was a much smaller venue - there was only room for 4 dervishes (3 if they were moving in any direction rather than spinning in one spot). That said, I enjoyed the meditative evening watching their peaceful spins and listening to the live musicians.

Had some fun on the mile walk back to the tram....usually Tricia is the one who gets noticed by men - she's young (30-something) and has a beautiful smile and infectious laugh. She is an obviously happy person. But this time it was my turn (another usually happy person). We walked by a street hawker for a local restaurant (there were oh-so-many in Istanbul) who had a few gray hairs and he said to me...."You are a beautiful natural woman. Marry me!" Too funny! I got my first European marriage proposal. Love those light moments of being noticed.

It was a good day (actually they all were!).

Day 6, Friday, December 30

Finally we are going to the Asian side of Istanbul. The boat ride is a very quick 10-15 minutes - almost too quick for me - I love being on the water. We begin walking along the harbor and it's clear we want to go in different directions and agree to meet back at the apartment in the evening. I head to the market area where there are once again fresh everything stands and hundreds of little stores.

Aside - I saw one that was literally the size of a closet. Many stores sell just one genre - leather goods (purses, wallets), shoes, electrical supplies, light fixtures, plumbing supplies, nuts and bolts, fabric for sewing, hair accessories, antiques, almost anything you can think of. Many of the same themed stores are on the same block - so if you have a bathroom that needs work to go to the bathroom stores section. One day I wanted to get a key made and had to ask where I could find the key cutting store (mostly in sign language showing the person I was asking a key and miming a key-cutting machine). The first person I asked gave me directions including about 4 turns around corners. After 2 turns I asked someone else and again got several turns ahead. And finally I asked a third person and in about 5 minutes found the key kiosk.

Back to Asia - sorry for the tangent, but it was such an interesting aspect to me. On the Asian side I began looking for a well-known restaurant named Çiya (pron. Chia). Found it! It lived up to all I heard about it. It had a salad bar with many unique salads - I'm not even sure what they were, but that's what I had for lunch. There was also a hot bar with cuts of meat, soups, vegetables and potatoes, but I was full after the salads. I sat at a table with Warren and Annie from Los Angeles. I met them yesterday in Europe at Topkapi Palace and there they were eating lunch in Asia at the same restaurant I walked into. One of those small world moments (it turns out Tricia also had a small-world moment that same afternoon on her journey).

After lunch I walked around some more, but was getting weary of all the shops and afternoon crowds. Especially since this is the sixth day of being in a city environment. I headed back to the boat and took one back to a different location which gave me a little longer time on the water. And had a quiet evening in the apartment.

Day 7, Saturday, December 31

Happy Birthday Patricia. I am 58. A few days ago I made an appointment to have a massage a yoga studio at noon. Before that there is one more mosque I want to visit - the second largest in Istanbul - Süleymaniye Mosque built in the mid-1500s. Here's a link for those who want more info - including a virtual tour.

I found my way there pretty easily but once there, I couldn't find the entrance.

Remembering that Omër told me there were multiple entrances at the Blue Mosque, I wanted to find the appropriate way in for me, a tourist. I walked around the Mosque twice and only saw one entrance which had the water fountains just inside the door where people wash hands, feet and faces before worship. Finally I approached to a woman walking by who was wearing a hijab (scarf covering her hair) to ask here where I enter the mosque. She spoke a little English and she said the door I saw was the correct door. However, she not only told me that, she showed me to the door and escorted me into the mosque to show it to me. Amazing. How many people who are stopped on the street by a stranger and obvious foreigner, would take time out of their busy day, to give a personal guided tour? She showed me the different areas including an area beyond the "tourist barriers." This mosque is primarily a house of worship and secondarily open to tourists. We probably spend 10 minutes looking at the interior of the different areas and as we approached the exit/entrance, she asked me if I wanted to pray. I said yes. It seemed like an important opportunity not to be missed. So we knelt together and had a few minutes of silence. This kind American, obviously western woman and this kind, obviously Muslim woman side-by-side. I felt such a deep sense of mutual appreciation and respect being there with her.

We got up and she said her good-byes. I lingered for a few more minutes savoring what just happened. Finally I headed to the door and pushed aside the heavy fabric covering and stepped out. Apparently I wasn't grounded because I didn't see the step down and I took a hard fall. A Turkish man came running over to me to see if I was alright and to help me up. I was shaken and a little bruised, but o.k. Now it was definitely time to head to my massage - and how grateful I was to have the appointment!

Need I say how exquisite the massage was? It's the first one I've had since I left Sedona. I realized how much I needed it, not only after the fall, but to help process this wonderfully challenging and intense year of my life. My masseuse had a deep-tissue touch and the only areas which were really tender were my neck and shoulders (typical for me - where I carry stress) and my calves - probably all the hill walking in Istanbul! I want more massages in my life. I also splurged on some organic hazelnuts and raw (!) crackers. Treats - oh boy!

After my massage, I treated myself to lunch at a vegetarian restaurant and walked home along Istiklal Street at a leisurely pace to rest into feeling so good. A great beginning to a New Year.

Day 8, Sunday, January 1, 2012

Today I am "psyched" to go to the Princes Islands off the Asian coast in the Sea of Marmara. It's a 90 minute boat ride to Büyükada, the largest of the islands. At 9:00a.m. on New Years Day it was very quiet in Istanbul and there were only a handful of us on the boat that can probably hold a couple hundred. The good news is that shortly after pulling away from the dock I saw a pod of dolphins swimming in the sea.. Maybe they were reveling in the quietude too. For the whole 90 minutes - Istanbul stretched along the Asian coast - there was no end in sight. It's the largest city I've ever seen.

It was a cool and cloudy day with drizzle, but not enough to curtail any activities. Transportation on the bike is limited to feet, bikes and horse carriages. First stop, Starbucks. Can you believe it - this tiny island has one. I warmed up a bit with a cup of Christmas blend, visited the kitty outside the door and then headed out for a walk. It was lovely - out of the hustle and bustle of the city, quiet streets and scattered forests. I loved this "completion" to my vacation to Istanbul - a day in nature, breathing deeply and reflecting on this amazing week.

I returned on the mid-afternoon boat, and this one was packed with people. There were also salesmen selling their goods to the captive audience. One was very entertaining in his presentations of a multipurpose, collapsible walking stick/flashlight/crook/and a host of other features I don't remember (no, I didn't purchase one). His other "hot" item was a plastic tube with a cap on top that you can stick into a lemon, squeeze the lemon and then the tube is full of juice. Several folks bought one or both!

Walking home, I had a wrap called a duner. It's like a small gyros - meat cut off of a rotating skewer roast the chicken, lamb or pork. I passed on the skewer of layers of roasting intestines, even though I was assured they are delicious. I figured this would be a good, light dinner and I wouldn't need to make much at the apartment. When I walked in the door, Tricia said we were invited out to dinner my our property manager. Her colleague has a fish restaurant just a couple of minutes away from us. O.K. - great - I had 3 hours to get hungry again. No problem. It was a nice visit with another Turkish person. She told us of her family’s home in Cappadocia (where my rug is from) and yes, indeed, it's carved out of the rocks there. She also talked about the still common practice of arranged marriages, but she was never married (she's about 40). The man she loved, disappeared several years ago. He was someone her parents would not have chosen for her.

The most wonderful thing she shared with us was how long to give ourselves to get to the main bus station tomorrow. We thought 1 1/2 hours would have been plenty of time but she said leave 3 - 3 1/2 hours ahead of when it was scheduled to leave. Thank heavens we received and followed her advice.

Day 9, Sunday, January 2, 2012

It's time to go home to Bulgaria. We would have gone yesterday, but the buses were not running on the 1st. So today is a bonus day, until our bus leaves at 7:45pm. I head out to a place Tricia went a few days ago. It's a little French community, called Pierre Loti, on top of one of Istanbul's many hills. I took the bus to where I could catch the cable car - like the ones at ski resorts. Once again I had an image in my head that did not fit the reality. I thought it would be a really big hill (o.k. maybe even a mountain), but no, it wasn't. I was in the little bubble car for about 5 minutes and got to the top of the hill I could have walked up in 20 minutes. It wasn't as high as the 55 story building we went to the top of on our second day. But it did have a nice view and a different look to other parts of Istanbul.

I spent a little more time wandering on my favorite street - Istiklal. I sat in Starbucks for the last time and just people watched and wrote in my journal. I was ready to head home. And how different it felt to be heading home to Bulgaria. It gave me a sense of the life I am building in Bulgaria over time. The past 10 months have passed very quickly. On the bus I wondered for a while what it will be like in another year and a half to head home to America after being gone for so long and having spent so much time assimilating to a different culture.

I'd like to thank Tricia for her companionship and sharing her travel logistics insights with me. It's been a long time since I've traveled in a foreign country and she's gotten really good at it over the past 3 years. So I was very happy to learn from her and for her cheerful company. We enjoyed many things together and respected each others "space" for doing things alone and/or just "being" alone.

That's it for my overview of my trip to magnificent Istanbul.

I'm going to do it to you again. For Prague the 26th pictures tune in tomorrow. I got a late start to today, we lost power this am. and I decided to stay in bed where it was nice and warm, and have a full day. Tomorrow I'll have more time. It snowed again last night and I think is snowing now. Not very much but it's sticking. I tried to look out my terrace windows this am to see what was going on and couldn't see because they were covered with and frost! I guess that means it's cold!! Love and hugs from here!

Week four.... and done.

Chicken Curry with Couscous and Garlic Green Beans!

I had another jar of curry from Williams-Sonoma and since we're trying to use up the food we have in the house before hitting up the grocery store again this was it!

Obviously I went real fancy here by using a premade jar of curry, microwaveable couscous (this brand is delicious!!) and canned green beans. The most laborious part was cooking the chicken before adding the curry sauce.

Finished product. It was good. And the parents both enjoyed it. I get a little nervous "making" curry since we never grew up eating Indian food and my mom doesn't do spicy so well. This one had a little bit of kick but nothing she couldn't handle!

(@Lyndsey - You could totally do this with veggies instead of chicken. One day I'll do a vegetarian recipe in honor of you... although Dad will need to get his protein somewhere!)

Tonight I went Bulgarian style and made Musaka. (No pics.) This was the first time I tried to make it since I've been back in the States. I was a little disappointed... but then I had the realization that it wasn't how I made it but that the vegetables in the Bulg have far more flavor as compared to what's available here. I kinda miss going out to the backyard to the garden and grabbing veggies there. The Bulgarians did always say they had the best produce!

And for your listening pleasure... Straight No Chaser.

This is my current jam. On repeat again and again. Love.

January 20-22 we worked on a guest house in the sea town of Chernomorets, a small town outside Varna's rival, the Black Sea coastal city of Brugas. The house was the home of one of Kathleen's colleagues growing up, it was then turned into a bed and breakfast, and this past weekend we helped in the process of turning it into a nursing home.

shared sleeping quartersA total of 12 volunteers gathered to help, and we all stayed in the house over the weekend. Since there are so many beds we had free accommodations and rein of the kitchen and fireplaces. Saturday and Sunday we did a full sorting and cleaning; painted hallways, bedrooms, and the living room. We moved some furniture around too. Hospital beds are really heavy. There is still some work to be done before opening day, but we at least helped get it one step closer.

moving furnituredoing the trimming

For MLK Day this year I went into the school and gave a presentation to 1-4 grade about who Dr. King was, what he stood for and what he accomplished. Some of the teachers recognized the name but for the kids it was completely new. Since my village and school have a high population of the racial minority, the Roma, I think this was an important holiday to share with them.

I also shared with them the famous "I have a dream" quote. Then I gave them all a piece of paper and asked them to draw their dreams for the future. I collected all of them and then put them together in a sort of "I have a dream" quilt. I'm going to hang it up in the school for everyone to see. With them all mixed up you can't tell which drawing comes from who, and they can see how many of them are similar and that everyone wants something for the future.

Some of the drawings

It's time again for the Bulgarian National English Spelling Bee, or BNES. Only 25 students are able to participate in our local school spelling bee this year so the numbers need to be narrowed down, therefore the pretest. All 5th through 7th graders who are interested will be taking a test this week to determine if their English skills are good enough to participate (4th grade students will also participate however a different teacher is helping them practice). From this week on I will meet with the students once a week to practice from the local words for the 2012 BNES.

For all students who will be in the Spelling Bee (or if you're just interested), please go to the links below.

Read this: 2012 Spelling Bee Rules

Print this: 2012 BNES Local Word List (This list is what you need to begin studying from!)

Here are some optional spelling games to play:

Spelling City

Spelling Bowl

This year I am organizing an additional spelling bee for the 3rd grade students. This will give them a taste of what the spelling bee is and allow me to answer questions for them and their teachers so they are ready to participate next year. I have created a word list for them to study and we will have our 3rd Grade Bee in March. I will have a date for the 3rd grade bee and the 2012 BNES when it gets closer to March.

-And again, a BIG THANKS to everyone who helped to fund my PCPP, planning for the EFL Enrichment workshops has begun. I'm currently in the process of getting 4 schools (other than mine) to host, purchasing materials, and creating games. So far, Plovidiv is set!

Peace, Love, Literacy, and Reckless Curiosity.

Yesterday I sent JLN an email showing him something I found on Pinterest...

This was his response....

I have no doubt that I'm an absolutely delightful girlfriend so this has never been an issue for us... :)

I had a good laugh from it. I even sent it to one of my sister's who forwarded it to her husband. He found JLN's response very wise.

(Sidenote: What's with all the quotes/saying on Pinterest? Do people print these out or just look at them whenever they're on their Pinterest account?!)

So on the 26th we got up and had breakfast in the hostel. More of a traditional Bulgarian breakfast (maybe it's a European thing) including yogurt, scrambled eggs, cheese slices, meat slices, bread, and of course tea and coffee. Jez just reminded me that we actually talked about the fact that the only thing that breakfast was misssing from what we were used to in B were the tomatoes and cuccumbers. We got done with breakfast and headed back to the room to pack up our stuff and leave it in storage while we headed out and about Prague. We walked to the Charles Bridge, got some pictures along the way, and then saw the Prague Castle off in the distance. If I remember right we walked to a place after that that had a very beautiful overview of the city. I just love looking down on all the rooftops; it's just a cute sight to me, maybe I'm wierd. Rachel, Jez, and I did note what a difference the architecture in Prague was from what we were used to in B. Things were more colorful. After that we walked around the Jewish Quarter a little and I got some postcards. If I remember right, it's quite possible I don't, we then headed back to the hostel to gather our stuff...OH YEAH! How could I forget a trip to Starbucks to warm up a little!! Then we went to get our things, headed to the train station to take a bus to the other (bigger) train station. We bought more snacks/food for the 11 hour train ride to Krakow and had dinner in the train station. Sounds a little familiar to me, only this time I only had mashed potatoes and a hogarden since I wasn't hungry. (My sister and I took a trip over Christmas several years ago and had Christmas eve dinner in the train station in Lucerne, Switzerland.) I could spend more time in Prague and we only saw a little of the beautiful city! We boarded our overnight train that would take us to Krakow, Poland. Pictures will come on Thursday and Krakow will come next week!! It snowed most of the afternoon on Sunday here and both yesterday and today have been/are about freezing and thus melting much of the snow and ice, making it safe for me to walk!! I am a little afraid for all the babas, grandmas, that walk on the ice but to tell the truth, I should be more concerned about myself! They can pass me on the street walking on ice; they've got it down!! Love and hugs from here!! LET'S GO GIANTS!! At least there will be a Manning in the Superbowl!

Honestly that is the way I feel sometimes when I look out my window.  I feel as though I live …Continue reading »

...describe my second January in Bulgaria. Last week was rough: my hot water boiler broke and I had to cancel several planned activities due to heating issues in the school. BUT, now I have a new hot water boiler and rescheduled the activities. Besides continuation of the regular activities, I’ve added a few new things.

With Palma, we’ve begun prepping kids for participation in the National Spelling Bee. Last year was its first year and it was a huge success. Each school is given a bunch of materials (it’s an English spelling bee, Bulgarian is phonetic) and holds its own Bee. The winner goes to a regional Bee and then to a national Bee in Sofia. The whole thing was organized by a Peace Corps volunteer and her host organization last year; she extended an extra year to help institutionalize the program. Almost 200 schools will be participating in this year’s Bee from across the country. We had our first practice a week and a half ago and about 15 kids turned out. On Monday, I’ll show Akeelah and the Bee, a movie about spelling bees, with Bulgarian subtitles and we’ll start going through the practice list. Participants that make it to nationals get to stay in Sofia (with their teachers/PCVs) for two nights and receive a bunch of prizes.

This past Tuesday was the first conversational session for the advanced English adults. We held it after the beginner English group finished, from 7-8:30-ish. Quite a few people turned out for it, though there were more listeners than participators. The Zambian/British retiree who lives in Chiprovtsi also came. I haven’t seen him in over a year, but it was super helpful to have another native speaker for the students to listen to. Next week we’ll meet in a local guesthouse and practice restaurant conversations.

I’ve mostly finished law school applications! Huge weight off my shoulders—I feel like they were hanging over my head forever. I still have a few minor adjustments to make on the final one, but it’s mostly complete. Now I just have to figure out how to pay for it…

My kindle has almost been returned! A fellow PCV picked it up at Sofia Airport and left it for me at PC Headquarters. I haven’t had it since I left it on a chair in the Istanbul airport during the layover from Cairo and didn’t expect to see it again. It doesn’t have my name or any identifying information on it. My mom emailed the airport the next day. But it was New Year’s Eve and then a weekend. A week later my mom receives an email informing her the kindle was found and is waiting at the Sofia airport for pickup! I can’t believe someone turned it in or that the airlines/airport people coordinated to send it on to our destination. So happy! And impressed—dealing with lost and found during holiday travel time, sending it free of charge, and giving a personal contact number to arrange pickup. Bravo to Turkish Airlines! Love them: Turkish Airlines always has food and drinks, even on short flights. And shows a cute video of little kids fastening their seatbelts, putting on oxygen masks, and turning off electronics instead of the stewardess demonstration that no one really pays attention to.

Spending 12 hours a day at your desk deserves a fresh, fragrant, special treat, sight. This was not it. I finish two major assignments in five days. I’m eager to share what I’ve learned. It will take some time to edit down, but I hope to make it short, sweet and enjoyable to read. I’m [...]

Oh man, this is late in coming! So sorry! Basically, I've been between deathly illness and having the time of my life. That's a very broad spectrum that doesn't allow for much time to write about my emotions, which is a big deal because everyone knows how much I love to write about my emotions. Well, now I have freshly clipped fingernails, and I'm ready to tell you what I think.

I spent Christmas in Kaspichan with Iliyan's family. It was so great to see everyone again. They're a big happy group that argue a lot and have sincere interest in whatever I'm trying to say. It's a great thing to be listened to. It's also a great thing to talk - and I'm good at it! In between my explanations of Obama's low approval ratings and questions about the effect of the crisis in Greece on Bulgaria, they took lots of liberties to ask me questions. In different settings, I kept getting asked why I was still single. I told them it was because half the women in Portland aren't interested in men, and it really limits my ability to meet anyone compatible. I'm really holding out for a woman that's looking for a man. This man:

They thought that was so hilarious and wanted to hear me say it again and again. I mean, I'm glad they found my misfortune entertaining, but I felt like I had to validate myself somehow. I explained that I had gotten four phone numbers in the last week from interested European women - and then, with muffled laughter, they wanted to know how many numbers I got in Portland... Hhhh...

As per Christmas Traditions in Kaspichan, there was a lot of work to get done. They had decided to kill two pigs this year! Just like the last two pig slaughters I attended, they dressed me up in thick, old clothes and took turns telling me that I have to kill the pig this year, but when the time came, they just told me to stand out of the way and take pictures. I have a bunch of photos, though, from the two other pig slaughters and I wasn't in the mood to photograph the same thing. I mean, it's disturbing, and it really isn't that much different each time. So I stood around in the cold and watched, until finally someone handed me a knife and said, "Get to work!" Woo hoo!

It was fun learning how to butcher a pig and being told that I did it perfectly! Ha! I could see the mistakes I was making, but they were all very encouraging and supportive the whole time. Plus I felt useful. I love feeling useful!

The main event for the Christmas holiday is, in fact, Christmas Eve. After the pig's been mostly processed, everyone gathers around the table for a feast. A giant feast! We ate and drank till it hurt! It was glorious! Then it was time for Santa to visit. Iliyan played the role of "Grandfather Christmas" this year and handed out presents to everyone. He was so drunk, though, that he was being ridiculous and everyone was laughing hysterically! I swore his mom was gonna have a heart attack!

His beard kept falling down, he was speaking with a crazy accent (Grandfather Christmas is from the Netherlands), and he was saying a bunch of wild things that had the adults failing to contain their laughter, and the one little girl confused between excitement and terror! It was really funny! Maybe I don't understand kids enough, but I couldn't believe that the child was so intimidated by him. She couldn't let go of her grandmother's hand! I guess he's about 5 times her size, and drunk, but Iliyan was in the room just 5 minutes earlier! I guess with a costume, and stage performance like this, none of us really knew what was going on. Finally, although he wanted to continue talking and soliciting songs from the kids, the old folks kicked him out and said all the other children were waiting for him. It was a pretty spectacular moment.

I was home for a few days after Christmas, before I was to head off to the UK for NYE. My apartment is a bit of a conundrum. It's brand new, made of all the finest plastic from China, yet there seem to be so many issues! For example, every time someone uses the elevator, the entire building loses electricity. I've kinda dealt with that, but on one specific night, the power would go out every 10 minutes or so. I was trying to download The Daily Show so it was really inconvenient. Finally, some guy came knocking on my door to tell me the power was going out. Thanks. I asked him why, in a new building, are there so many problems with the electricity? He explained to me that too many people are using electricity so I should turn some things off... I asked the same questions again and his response then was that the building was not permitted for inhabitants yet so the only electricity coming to the building was meant for the completion of construction. Great. I'm squatting. I asked when the building would be finished and he said, "Next year." Ah, Bulgaria.

With that, I packed my bags and headed to London! NYE was simply amazing! I met Tim Wade, my partner from Supercross08, and his wife, cousin, and sister in-law in London. We rented a giant mini-van that had nothing mini about it and road tripped our brains out to an unknown town in Northern England. The next day, we headed for good old Edinburgh - home of Hogmanay, an old Scottish word symbolizing the Viking gifts of fire, drinking, and explosions! This year, Hogmanay was only 3 days of events and celebrations, which were kicked off by a torch light procession that began in Parliament Square and wound through the old cute streets of Edinburgh to a place called Calton Hill. It was incredible to be in a march of torches, and looking out over the dark city seeing torches for miles! Very cool! To end of the procession, on Calton Hill, there was a giant firework show set to music and then a giant bonfire! It was sooo cool! And I was all kinds of giddy!

After some rest, it was time for the main event! New Year's Eve! My favorite holiday in the world! Oh man, I dyed my manly mustache blue and added white hash marks to symbolize the Scottish flag. People loved it!!! Some gals pulled on it a couple times, which didn't make me too happy, but they needed to see if it was real. We started out at our favorite little pub and then hit the streets.

Tim had his flask of fancy pants Scottish whiskey, but I'm not so excited about whiskey so I made myself a super dirty gin martini - the kind that really gets ya dancing! It got really warm in my jacket so it didn't taste very good at all by the time we made it down to the street party, but it sure did make me dance!I danced my brains out! Pretty much all night - and I'm pretty sure I was amazing - I'm a great dancer! When it came time for the 10-count, I realized the effect of my dirty gin... I missed the first seven numbers, but managed to get in on the last three! And then there were fireworks! Huge, awesome, sky-covering fireworks! It was absolutely incredible! Five minutes after they stopped, the skies opened up and unleashed the most intense rain and wind ever! At this point, though, I couldn't really see so it didn't bother me, but everyone else wanted to go back to the pub. Tim put on his mad Scottish accent during our walk back (he was helping me walk) and mocked the weather, tempting a "real" storm! I could not stop laughing. My gut hurt more than ever before - I think my abs are getting really strong or something.

On the first day of 2012, we took the traditional hike up to King Arthur's Seat. It was dry, but no less windy - and very cold! Stayed long enough for a picture and then called it a day.It was a super, super great NYE! Everything was perfect! Took a long road trip back to London via small country roads and then went out for Mexican! Mmmm! Here are more Hogmanay photos if you're dying to see!

Got back to Varna to witness one of the most interesting holidays in Bulgaria: Jordonov Den - where young men prove their bravery by racing for a wooden cross that's been blessed by a priest and hurled into the water. It was a pretty big competition in Varna - and a pretty neat show! And it was sooo cold!

After the ceremony, a lot of people from the crowd collect water from the sea, or washed themselves with it. It's probably symbolic of something. Anyway, I finally did my first piece of real work! Delivered a ton of kids books to a children's hospital! So, see, I am doing some really helpful things over here!

“To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.” – George Orwell I’ll need another two years in the village to contain all the things I’ve learned.  How perceptive I’ve become when reading. The blatant misuse of words. The blatant use of words. Obama sang in public. Did you see that? [...]

THE WORLD IS NOT SO WIDE AS IT APPEARS letter series {#3}

“You Will Make It”

It’s an interesting thing about these sheets. As I turn each page I know not what the message beholds. The text itself a momental prompt. The words atop the page conjuring unique meaning wholly dependant upon an amalgamation of self, state of mind, mood and current happenings. I inhale the words. Let it permeate and seek meaning.

Today these words penetrate the meninges of my mind, slink around the fleshy nooks of each twisted cauliflower fold of my brain, surge down my spine and radiate outwardly along each spindly tentacle of my peripheral nervous system seeking a way in. Searching for weakness, seeking an answer.

Today it found me. Today it has discovered the tracings of self-doubt that have been lacing my thoughts. At times more than lacing. At times accumulating to such heights as to form mounds. Mounds which demand traversing and surpassing.

Such are my thoughts.

As of late I find myself engulfed in a plan. A plan for a business. A plan in an attempt to help bridge the gap between rich and poor in America. A plan through which to help fight for our natural rights that have been so gradually stripped away. A right for which our government should protect but which has found itself in the sheets between power and greed. We as humans deserve the right to health. The right to life. The right to enjoy the natural born fruits of our earth; the roots of which gifted to the beings blessed with breath. This fundamental need has been stripped from all and relegated and re-gifted to the elite – for a price. The rest, repackaged in stomach filling vessels of chemicals, emptiness and low-value.

I have this plan and I’m working on it. Day by day. I add more to this plan. I enact teams on the ground to help me with this plan. I believe in it whole heartedly and am increasingly irritated by people philosophizing about our problems and not acting. Big words are great but are nothing without big action.

Such are my thoughts.

I move steadily through this plan, methodically addressing each question of its development. I’m engulfed. Then, in the midst of frustration or in the warming peace of a shower my questions change course. From, “how do I get there?” “what’s the most efficient way?” “the fairest way?” to, “what are you risking?” “what if you fail?” “will anyone even care that you’ve created this?” “will the populace appreciate it?” “can I even compete?” These questions mount faster than the methodical trudgings of building a concrete plan. Before I know it I’ve drifted down the slippery river. I look in on myself seeking harbor in a safe alternative; related to my field of interest but not exactly accomplishing my goal. It’s at this moment that I worry myself. I worry that perhaps I’m not strong enough to carry this through. I worry whether I’ll make it.

I wallow in these thoughts; in my solace.

Such are my thoughts.

Then, just as the shifting temperature of water, I incrementally find my way out. I focus on the “I can.” I focus on the “at least I’ll have tried” and am slowly warmed again.

As the droplets evaporate away, I recall a study from years ago. A study entitled “Message from Water” by Dr. Masaru Emoto. In this study Dr. Emoto evokes us to rethink our consciousness and its power. In this study he exposes the H2 and O molecules of water to various messaging from kind words as “peace,” “love” and “hope” to “hate,” “anger” and “war.” Through these studies Dr. Emoto has been capturing the structural reconfigurations of these interactions by means of microscopic photography. What he has found is nothing short of inspirational. The molecules align themselves in physical reflection of these meanings. The more inspirational and wondrous the words, the more beautiful and magnificent the structure; the more hate-filled and negative the message, the more grotesque and convoluted the configuration.

I take this and reflect upon myself. What evoked these thoughts in me? This self-doubt? What internal messaging am I creating? What are we saying to ourselves daily? Let us take a moment to reflect. A moment to listen. Are they positive or negative? Are they aiding in our quest to our heart or mind’s desire? Or are they merely serving as deterrents?

Outside of our being, what are we exposing ourselves to? The music we listen to, the media we watch, the friends we keep? They all have a hand in influencing the subliminal messaging of our minds. Let us take inventory of our lives. What are we really exposing ourselves to? It’s all within our choice.

I made this realization this week: I AM an entrepreneur. I AM working on my business. I’m no longer hopefully a future entrepreneur. I’m no longer working on this business idea of mine. I AM.

Whatever it is that you are trying to make it to, you will. You will do it and you will succeed because at least you have tried - and tried with all your might. Whether your struggle is in creating something, getting accepted to something, moving beyond something or surviving something.

We are more than molecules. We are more than H2 & O. We are humans and we have this capacity to surround ourselves with whatever messaging we want. We are not merely receptors. Go find the messaging you deserve and take the methodical steps towards what you want.

Take a moment to glimpse what Dr. Emoto’s studies revealed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1-0ulKgmio&feature=related

My question to you: What are you trying to “make it” through? Is your internal and external messaging pushing you closer or further away from this?

Since I have been so bad about blogging I figure I owe you all one! We, 3 OF US, left from Sofia by plane the 24th of December and flew into Frankfurt Hahn, Germany. If I remember right, I can go look and see if thE times are right but really don't want to right now, we boarded a bus at Frankfurt HaHN to take us to the train station. We boarded the bus at probably about 9:30-10 and were on that bus about 2 hours. Once at the train station we found a train to Prague at 1am. I think we had a bit of a layover in the train station. We were all at different stages of tired at this point! Our train finally comes and we get on and pretty much went right to sleep. The car was darK and it was pretty obvious we weren't the only ones traveling a long distance overnight. I'm sure I slept, how much I can't be certain and I really don't think it was much; I just couldn't get comfortable. We arrived in Prague about 10 am the 25th. We had been snacking on basically junk and were ready for a substantial meal. We had done some research on stuff to do in Prague before we arrived, and Rachel had been there before, and had found this beer club/restaurant type place and wanted to do that for dinner, so decided to get a light lunch and have an early dinner. We headed off to find the hostel, leave our bags, and find some food while exploring a bit. We left our bags and headed out and smack dab into the center to be confronted with this statue of this guy on a horse holding a Czech flag with TONS of red and white candles, flowers, and canned red stuff all over the ground in front of this guy. Then it occured to us that "ohhhhh! This must be the former leader of the Velvet Revolution Rachel's mother was talking about!" His statue flowed into the Christmas market where we (finally) Got some food in our stomaches. There were litTle tables set up so that you could eat. We enjoyed traditional food, I'm assuming, and cups of hot mulled wine. aFTER OUR LUNCH WE WALKED A LITTLE MORE AROUND THE CENTER/market and THEN headed back to the hostel to check in. I have no idea why this is in all capitals...and no, my caps lock isn't on. By thE time WE GOT CHECKED INTO OUR ROOM, THAT NIGHT WE HAD A ROOM TO OURSELVES AND GOT SOME GOOD SLEEP; AT LEAST i DID, AND GOT THINGS SITUATED A LITTLE AND HEADED OUT FOR AN EARLY DINNER IT WAS ABOUT 3:30-4. THE BEER PLACE/RESTAURANT WAS VERY NICE AND THE WALLS WERE LINED WITH BEER BOTTLES FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. THE MENU OF COURSE HAD SOME FAVORITES LISTED AND, i'M NOT SURE HOW MANY TIMES WE WERE INFORMEND THAT THE CZECH REPUB. IS KNOWN FOR THEIR BEER, WE HAD TO TRY THEM OF COURSE. I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT 2 OUT OF THE 3 OF US HAD COLDS WHEN WE STARTED THIS VACATION AND IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME!!! EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ALL HAVE TO TRY EACH OTHERS FOOD AND DRINKS, ESPECIALLY THE RENOWNED BEER!! THAT WAS A FUN NIGHT! WE EACH HAD ANOTHER BEER (I LET JEZ PICK MINE OUT SINCE EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A CONNOSEUR OF BEER I AM...NOT) AND SHE DECIDED I SHOULD TRY A COCONUT BEER. IT WAS INTERESTING AND LED TO ALL DIFFERENT SORTS OF CONVERSATIONS SINCE IT WAS ALSO A "FAIR TRADE" BEER AND, LET'S FACE IT, WE WERE FAIRLY HAPPY BY THIS TIME. I GOT A SOUVENIOUR (HOWEVER YOU SPELL THAT) BEER MUG. WE DIDN'T DO MUCH AFTER DINNER SINCE WE WERE LACKING SLEEP; WE MAY HAVE WALKED AROUND A LITTLE MORE BUT BY THAT TIME IT WAS DARK (THANKS TO JEZ AND RACHEL WHO WERE THE NAVIGATORS PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE TRIP-FOR MY FAMILY OUT THERE, NO JOKES ABOUT MY DIRECTION ABILITY OR LACK THEREOF) AND WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE OUT TOO MUCH AFTER DARK IN A STRANGE PLACE. WE HEADED BACK TO THE HOSTEL AND BASICALLY FELL INTO BED. I'LL SPEAK FOR MYSELF WHEN I SAY THIS WAS THE LAST GOOD NIGHT SLEEP I GOT UNTIL THE 30TH BACK IN BULGARIA. THIS WAS THE 25TH OF DECEMBER. IF I CAN'T BE WITH FAMILY OVER THE HOLIDAYS I'LL TAKE MY PEACE CORPS FAMILY!! THIS HAS TURNED OUT TO BE LONGER THAN I REALIZED SO THE FULL DAY IN PRAGUE, THE 26TH, WILL COME NEXT WEEK...OR AT LEAST I'M REALLY TRYING FOR IT TO BE NEXT WEEK. LOVE AND HUGS FROM HERE!! TO MY FAMILY, IMMEDIATE AND EXTENDED, THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE!!

Last night I made it to week three! Three weeks down, 49 to go!

I made Chicken & Chipotle Soup with Avocado & Lime from the Williams-Sonoma "Soup of the Day" cookbook. It was easy and pretty good. Originally I was going to do something from my Paula Deen "Southern Cooking Bible" but after the announcement of her diabetes, I decided her food probably wasn't what me (or my parents) need to be eating right now! Ha. (BTW, sorry Paula.)

Here's the book....

Here's the completed soup: topped with avocado and lime!

The soup wasn't too difficult to make although when I did my grocery shopping Tuesday night I couldn't find a mint sprig and I had no idea what kind of chile to get. There were about seven different options and there wasn't one labeled "Chipotle Chile in Adobo" sooooo I was confused. I ended up just buying a jalapeno, holding and roasting it over the gas stove, peeling and de-seeding and chopping. Worked well enough. (Plus Vic doesn't do too spicy so I wanted to make sure she could eat it!) There are chickpeas in the soup which added a nice flavor... and we even had some at the house so I didn't have to buy any.

Am I supposed to actually give the recipe on here? Does anyone care?? I guess it's easy enough to google if you want to create your own.

And just for good measure... here's an informal introduction to the man-friend:

And coming this weekend, my first book club with ladies from church. We'll be talking about The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. If you click here you can find a stellar review of the book. (I found when I tried to explain it, I did it absolutely no justice!... Then you should bookmark that website.)

Yesterday I started Fame by Karen Kingsbury. I won this set of books from a blog of an old colleague (she's not old, just the job!). Check out her blog here. Thank you Sara! :)

Number of books for 2012: 2 (1 down, 1 in progress)

I have returned from the land of whimsy and marshmallows and post-industrial dilapidation and snow!

In case you were wondering, my trip was full of winter and booze and all the things that make things more thingy.

Please enjoy my favorite pictures from my trip.

Here are some stray observations I made on my visit:

- Some towns in the Midwest are plagued by a post-industrial economic malaise that has created an environment full of unemployment, desperation and, for some inexplicable reason, the lingering scent of delicious, delicious bacon.

- Snow is very cold. And it can kill you.

- To survive an attack by evil, murderous snow, wear as many layers of clothes as humanly possible. Also, never leave the house without a flask full of uncle Jim's "mean juice."

- If you spend the entire winter in an abandoned house, you get to keep the house. But only if the snow doesn't kill you.

- There are not nearly as many tauntauns as I expected, but large dogs are almost as cute and are big enough to kill and sleep in if you need to avoid the evil snow.

- Uncle Jim's "mean juice" is delicious and makes it OK for me to feel again.

the memorial to the deceased leader

of the Velvet Revolution. My mom told

me a little about what he did

when Czech was being attacked

by the Russians; it was pretty

interesting!

a closer and sideways look.

this is looking to the right at

the xmas market from our table.

See the little tables set up so

you could stand and enjoy the

delicious food?

this was looking to the left. I

had what I thought looked like a

brat and Jez and Rachel shared

some potato, bean, pasta

type dish.

again at the outside xmas

market with a view of the

center.

this is the astronomical clock.

every hour these people come out

from the top and wave flags and

stuff. it of course chimes too!

everything was sold at the market

or at least lots of different foods and

hot mulled wine, a favorite.

waiting for the clock!

there are revolving small statues

in these windows that revolve

every hour. The actual face of

the clock is underneath.

I thought all the umbrellas were

funny to see. It had started to

drizzle a bit while we were

waiting for the clock.

You can barely see the people

leaning over the balcony but they

are there!

Jez and I in Starbucks. Starbucks was a

highlight for Jez and Rachel. The hat

is from Prague.

The Czech Repub. is known for

their beer and of course

what would a trip to Prague

be without sampling the

specialty of the country? This

restaurant/beer club/whatever

had beer from all over the world,

including Bulgaria and the

US. It was pretty cool seeing all

the different beer bottles displayed!

Today I spent 20 minutes at the DMV and the whole rest of the day crying. Although it's a truism at this point that the DMV is a drab, disheartening, soul-crushing place, I can't really blame today's breakdown solely on the Department of Motor Vehicles. What happened is that I went to register my car (after putting it off for only 6 months), got to the last step of the process, the part where they make you pay $230 for what is ostensibly nothing, and then had to admit to myself and the annoyed cashier lady that I didn't have enough money in my account to cover that cost. "Sooooo, you guys don't like take credit cards or anything? Can I pay some now and the rest later? I see. In that case, can I just crawl into a hole and die now? This is the DMV, surely you must have a pit of despair somewhere on the premises."

As soon as I got back to my car, a whole string of familiar thoughts began swirling in my brain. It begins with not having enough money to register my car, then that I don't have enough money to pay for anything in my life right now, that I've never had an actual full-time adult job, that I'm unqualified for everything, that I'll never be able to support myself without asking my mom for money, that even if I do find a decent paying job I will probably hate it like I hate everything because I have no career goals and no direction in my life. Basically, it begins with not getting my car registered and ends with me being a worthless human being. Yikes. That is when the crying began.

The truth is, it's been a rough couple of months and money woes are just a small symptom of a bigger problem. Without going into too much detail, I've spent the past few months feeling at the pit of my soul that I am unworthy of everything. Unworthy of love or happiness, unworthy of good friends, unworthy of a decent job, unworthy of pursuing my dreams, unworthy of even having dreams to be honest. It's a feeling that says I have nothing of value to offer anyone, no original thoughts inside my head, no skills or ideas, and basically that I offer no reason for anyone to care that I exist. It doesn't matter how much my brain reassures my emotions that I do in fact matter and have worth; feelings care not for your puny logic.

Therefore these feelings have, understandably, resulted in a lot of crying. In recent months I've done a lot of crying alone in my room and in front of those awesome friends that I don't think I deserve. There's been crying in the car driving to work, crying before I walk into the grocery store, really seriously almost crying in front of my elementary school class (nothing makes you feel crazier than almost losing your shit front of a group of innocent children), even crying in the bathroom at restaurants before going back to join my friends and pretending that I had definitely not just been shaking uncontrollably while snot ran down my chin in front of the vanity mirror at O'Hoolihans (not a real place, but you get the idea).

This isn't the first time I've been depressed to be sure, but it is the first time that I've fought so hard not to let it stop me from living my life, which may explain all the crying in public places. It's the first time that I've let friends and family see just how sad I am instead of retreating into a cave of blankets in my room. It's the first time that I haven't allowed myself to skip work or classes or stop going to church or any of the other things that I know I have to do whether I feel like it or not. This is the first time I've still made myself run and eat (semi)healthily and not drink my feelings away. It's the first time that I have prayed and prayed and read my Bible until I've fallen asleep with Psalms stuck to my face.

All that is to say that I'm doing better than I have in the past, believe it or not, and that's something, but it's not good enough. Sometimes you can try to do everything right and it still doesn't help. I really don't know what will help. I know that I'm determined to see a counselor this time and to actually stick with it, not just to see someone once and stop going like I've done in the past. I know I'm determined not to retreat from everything and everyone and just wait for the fog to pass eventually, hopefully before it does too much damage. That's not going to cut it this time. I don't have any answers or words of encouragement yet because I'm sort of still in the middle of this thing, but I just thought I'd say that I'm not giving up. I just thought I'd make it perfectly clear that I will go back to the DMV tomorrow and pay $230 for two pieces of aluminum because that is what a healthy well-adjusted adult would do, but I can't guarantee that I won't cry a little on the inside.

I've spent a lot of time in Bulgaria, nearly 2 years. During this time I've done a lot of nice things, spent a lot of time spent helping and being a good little volunteer. However, I've also done a lot of judging. I think I've just got Bulgaria all figured out. I know where all the problems lie and I complain to friends over skype or in person about how much easier our jobs would be if certain things were addressed and changed. I get frustrated on a daily basis by the things I can't change and by putting any issues involving education, teachers, students, parents, etc. into a box that I can name and talk about makes it easier to handle. I judge and bask in the glory that is my Perfect Version of Bulgaria. If only they'd let me run the country...

And then I went to a 5th grade student's birthday party.

Now, my 5th graders are impossible. They are all significantly below grade level. Most of them would be classified as illiterate by American standards and that is unfortunately not an exaggeration. To say they are difficult to teach is an understatement and I dread Tuesdays when we have two hours in a row with these ADHD/music-playing/constant-wiggling/shut-up-shouting/always-argueing/KAKVO?!?! little hellions. I often wonder how they were allowed to become these versions of themselves. How can a class of only a dozen students spend hours at school every day for years and not know how to read or write in their native language? Why does the school bother to teach them a second one? Why aren't parents more involoved? Why isn't there after-school help to get them back on track? Why isn't anyone doing anything?!?!

I thought I knew why. No one cares. Apathy.

And then I went to a 5th grader student's birthday party.

5th grade isn't the only class I struggle with, I have a lot of students who are very similar and many more who can add "violent", "thief", and "destructive" to their academic resumes. I can see the futures of every 8th grade student from now until they're walking down the icy streets with bent backs and canes struggling to get a small bag of bread and cheese back to their concrete home. And I think "why?" Couldn't they just try a little harder? Put in a little more effort? Take advantage of a relatively easy education and make something of themselves? Take something seriously?!?!

Again I thought I knew exactly why. Years of being spoiled and never told no. Not knowing a life different from this one. Not caring. Apathy.

And then I went to a 5th grader student's birthday party. This is what happened:

I took the 2:45pm bus from the center of my village to the Mahala on the other side of some low, rolling hills. Tucked away and with a truly breathtaking view of a famous mountain range is Veselitsa, the Mahala (or ghetto) on the outside of town. The houses are old and crumbling and cars are abandoned everywhere, along the roads and in front of equally useless buildings. The few nice cottages are for English tourists who come in the Spring and Summer months to get away in what I imagine they think is a quaint, nicer version of The Bulgarian Village. Businesses are few and most store windows are blackened, not having been used for what looks like decades. The streets are windy leading up to the center and it's cold, cloudy.

As I step off the bus, every other passenger staring, wondering what I'm doing there, I'm waved down by two of my students with, "Gospozha! Miss!" I wave to them and immediately wish Pepi a happy birthday. He sees I have a gift but doesn't mention it. I realize later that I probably should have handed it to him right away. Welcome to Veselitsa, they say.

We walk up the cobblestone street and stop in front of a very old wooden door and he beckons me inside. We're greeted by a puppy who's chained up to the fence and practicing being ferocious which he no doubt will be someday soon. As we walk through a door at the side of the house, I have to duck in order not to hit my head and immediately feel a wave of heat. There's a small, iron furnace in the tiny room, two beds, and a baba. A baba is a grandma and I'd met Pepi's briefly a few months before when I came to the Mahala to visit my students and play cards in the Fall.

We ate dinner. Kyufteta (meat patties) and bread with a fizzy drink and some coffee. I noticed how polite Pepi was, how different from the crazy, loud, class clown Pepi from school. He encouraged me to eat. He translated his baba's Bulgarian as it was difficult for me to understand. He told me about an old picture on the wall, it was of his baba and her husband on their wedding day in 1963. It's then I realized this wrinkled and bent old woman with a cane and fewer teeth than fingers was only a decade or so older than my own mother.

After dinner, Pepi handed me a stuffed Winnie the Pooh and said it was for me. I thanked him and noticed him looking at the green, flowered bag with my gift out of the corner of his eye. I realized my mistake and quickly told him to open his gift. I'd bought him a robot that had to be put together out of Legos. As he opened the box and took out each small bag full of tiny Lego pieces he began to look more and more confused. It didn't look like the robot on the box. When he realized he was going to have to build it himself he looked at me like I was a silly American who'd been tricked into buying something that wasn't even put together yet. He set it aside, clearly never to be played with again. Later, when his uncle was trying to put it together and getting very frustrated, refusing to follow the directions no matter how many times I encouraged him to, Pepi said he hated it. He said it to make his uncle feel better and there was such a contradiction in his sweet voice that all I could do was laugh and promise to buy better gifts for children in the future. Ones that come already put together and ready to play with. I should have just bought him a soccer ball. His uncle and baba combined efforts and gave him 10 leva. He was very excited to spend it on snacks at school. The good ones.

I asked about another black and white photo on the wall. It was his baba, a dozen or so years after the honeymoon photo, with her 3 children. Pepi's uncle, aunt, and father. Pepi told me his dad doesn't come here. I asked what he meant and Pepi repeated himself. He doesn't come here. He lives in another town. I don't see him. Then Pepi shrugged and ate some more bread. I know nothing about Pepi's mother but I do know she doesn't come here either. Whether that's because she's passed away or because she also lives in another town, either way, probably isn't something I'm prepared to know.

I asked Pepi who started the fire in the furnace. He did. Who made the coffee, washed the dishes, cooked the food? He did. What time do you wake up, Pepi? 5:30. What do you do at home for fun? Listen to the radio. Sing. Dance. Play soccer. So, it's just you and your baba? Yes, but my uncle comes from Sofia in the winter to help. We need help when it's cold. My baba can't walk very far, she has a cane.

No wonder he plays in my classroom. It's his only escape. It is his play time. His time with friends. No watchful baba eyes and no coffee to make.

We spent the rest of the day playing soccer and sledding. All on ice. The snow from a few weeks prior had condenced and frozen, covering everything with uneven, slippery ice. Soccer was not easy to say the least and we all fell hard, laughing and picking ourselves back up only to fall again a few seconds later. The sledding was easier and using a plastic bag was pure genious. Just sit on it and go, so fast the wind hurts your cheeks. We flew down the hill and crashed into large piles of snow, dusting ourselves off for the treacherous climb back to the top. Gospozha, don't scream, Pepi told me. I have to, I say.

Pepi walked me back to the center and waited with me for the bus. He listened to my ipod and danced with his baba's cane which he brought for protection from the wild dogs that constantly prowl. He asked for my phone number so he could call me and ask how I'm doing on the weekend (I got a call from him later that night). He asked if I'd like to come again and maybe stay the night. I could sleep in his bed, next to his baba's bad, and he would sleep on the floor. He asked me for the millionth time if I'd had a great day. Not nice, he says, great. It was a great day, wasn't it?

It was a great day.

-Age

I've spent a lot of time in Bulgaria, nearly 2 years. During this time I've done a lot of nice things, spent a lot of time spent helping and being a good little volunteer. However, I've also done a lot of judging. I think I've just got Bulgaria all figured out. I know where all the problems lie and I complain to friends over skype or in person about how much easier our jobs would be if certain things were addressed and changed. I get frustrated on a daily basis by the things I can't change and by putting any issues involving education, teachers, students, parents, etc. into a box that I can name and talk about makes it easier to handle. I judge and bask in the glory that is my Perfect Version of Bulgaria. If only they'd let me run the country...

And then I went to a 5th grade student's birthday party.

Now, my 5th graders are impossible. They are all significantly below grade level. Most of them would be classified as illiterate by American standards and that is unfortunately not an exaggeration. To say they are difficult to teach is an understatement and I dread Tuesdays when we have two hours in a row with these ADHD/music-playing/constant-wiggling/shut-up-shouting/always-argueing/KAKVO?!?! little hellions. I often wonder how they were allowed to become these versions of themselves. How can a class of only a dozen students spend hours at school every day for years and not know how to read or write in their native language? Why does the school bother to teach them a second one? Why aren't parents more involoved? Why isn't there after-school help to get them back on track? Why isn't anyone doing anything?!?!

I thought I knew why. No one cares. Apathy.

And then I went to a 5th grader student's birthday party.

5th grade isn't the only class I struggle with, I have a lot of students who are very similar and many more who can add "violent", "thief", and "destructive" to their academic resumes. I can see the futures of every 8th grade student from now until they're walking down the icy streets with bent backs and canes struggling to get a small bag of bread and cheese back to their concrete home. And I think "why?" Couldn't they just try a little harder? Put in a little more effort? Take advantage of a relatively easy education and make something of themselves? Take something seriously?!?!

Again I thought I knew exactly why. Years of being spoiled and never told no. Not knowing a life different from this one. Not caring. Apathy.

And then I went to a 5th grader student's birthday party. This is what happened:

I took the 2:45pm bus from the center of my village to the Mahala on the other side of some low, rolling hills. Tucked away and with a truly breathtaking view of a famous mountain range is Veselitsa, the Mahala (or ghetto) on the outside of town. The houses are old and crumbling and cars are abandoned everywhere, along the roads and in front of equally useless buildings. The few nice cottages are for English tourists who come in the Spring and Summer months to get away in what I imagine they think is a quaint, nicer version of The Bulgarian Village. Businesses are few and most store windows are blackened, not having been used for what looks like decades. The streets are windy leading up to the center and it's cold, cloudy.

As I step off the bus, every other passenger staring, wondering what I'm doing there, I'm waved down by two of my students with, "Gospozha! Miss!" I wave to them and immediately wish Pepi a happy birthday. He sees I have a gift but doesn't mention it. I realize later that I probably should have handed it to him right away. Welcome to Veselitsa, they say.

We walk up the cobblestone street and stop in front of a very old wooden door and he beckons me inside. We're greeted by a puppy who's chained up to the fence and practicing being ferocious which he no doubt will be someday soon. As we walk through a door at the side of the house, I have to duck in order not to hit my head and immediately feel a wave of heat. There's a small, iron furnace in the tiny room, two beds, and a baba. A baba is a grandma and I'd met Pepi's briefly a few months before when I came to the Mahala to visit my students and play cards in the Fall.

We ate dinner. Kyufteta (meat patties) and bread with a fizzy drink and some coffee. I noticed how polite Pepi was, how different from the crazy, loud, class clown Pepi from school. He encouraged me to eat. He translated his baba's Bulgarian as it was difficult for me to understand. He told me about an old picture on the wall, it was of his baba and her husband on their wedding day in 1963. It's then I realized this wrinkled and bent old woman with a cane and fewer teeth than fingers was only a decade or so older than my own mother.

After dinner, Pepi handed me a stuffed Winnie the Pooh and said it was for me. I thanked him and noticed him looking at the green, flowered bag with my gift out of the corner of his eye. I realized my mistake and quickly told him to open his gift. I'd bought him a robot that had to be put together out of Legos. As he opened the box and took out each small bag full of tiny Lego pieces he began to look more and more confused. It didn't look like the robot on the box. When he realized he was going to have to build it himself he looked at me like I was a silly American who'd been tricked into buying something that wasn't even put together yet. He set it aside, clearly never to be played with again. Later, when his uncle was trying to put it together and getting very frustrated, refusing to follow the directions no matter how many times I encouraged him to, Pepi said he hated it. He said it to make his uncle feel better and there was such a contradiction in his sweet voice that all I could do was laugh and promise to buy better gifts for children in the future. Ones that come already put together and ready to play with. I should have just bought him a soccer ball. His uncle and baba combined efforts and gave him 10 leva. He was very excited to spend it on snacks at school. The good ones.

I asked about another black and white photo on the wall. It was his baba, a dozen or so years after the honeymoon photo, with her 3 children. Pepi's uncle, aunt, and father. Pepi told me his dad doesn't come here. I asked what he meant and Pepi repeated himself. He doesn't come here. He lives in another town. I don't see him. Then Pepi shrugged and ate some more bread. I know nothing about Pepi's mother but I do know she doesn't come here either. Whether that's because she's passed away or because she also lives in another town, either way, probably isn't something I'm prepared to know.

I asked Pepi who started the fire in the furnace. He did. Who made the coffee, washed the dishes, cooked the food? He did. What time do you wake up, Pepi? 5:30. What do you do at home for fun? Listen to the radio. Sing. Dance. Play soccer. So, it's just you and your baba? Yes, but my uncle comes from Sofia in the winter to help. We need help when it's cold. My baba can't walk very far, she has a cane.

No wonder he plays in my classroom. It's his only escape. It is his play time. His time with friends. No watchful baba eyes and no coffee to make.

We spent the rest of the day playing soccer and sledding. All on ice. The snow from a few weeks prior had condenced and frozen, covering everything with uneven, slippery ice. Soccer was not easy to say the least and we all fell hard, laughing and picking ourselves back up only to fall again a few seconds later. The sledding was easier and using a plastic bag was pure genious. Just sit on it and go, so fast the wind hurts your cheeks. We flew down the hill and crashed into large piles of snow, dusting ourselves off for the treacherous climb back to the top. Gospozha, don't scream, Pepi told me. I have to, I say.

Pepi walked me back to the center and waited with me for the bus. He listened to my ipod and danced with his baba's cane which he brought for protection from the wild dogs that constantly prowl. He asked for my phone number so he could call me and ask how I'm doing on the weekend (I got a call from him later that night). He asked if I'd like to come again and maybe stay the night. I could sleep in his bed, next to his baba's bad, and he would sleep on the floor. He asked me for the millionth time if I'd had a great day. Not nice, he says, great. It was a great day, wasn't it?

It was a great day.

-Age

For your daily dose of cute-  story time with our Kindergarten. My colleagues really love their kids.  The kids really love them back.

…we decorated sticks. (and my counterpart decorated the kids) Honestly, I thought my colleagues had just started running short on craft ideas until I found them for sale in the market. сурвакници “The sourvakars are 10 to 21 year-old boys. They gather together in groups and start visiting the houses of relatives and neighbours as [...]

Day 4, Wednesday, December 28

We did sleep in a bit, then began our day of visiting sitesin Sultanahmet where many of the famous "touristy" sites are. I’m including a photo of the Metro – I lovedtheir long sleek lines and at one point I thought I was looking into mirrorsfacing each other. In a straight linethe view through multiple cars seemed endless. The metro is sleek, modern and efficient. While at the metro stop,Tricia and I were talking – in English of course. A Turkish man introduced himself and spokeEnglish with us. Another kind Turkishinteraction. His name was Omer and heoffered to show us the Blue Mosque. He walked us there and explained that there were 3 entrances – onefor tourists, one for Turks and one for worshippers. We took our shoes off and went in. It’s called the Blue Mosque because of theabundance of blue tiles used in the mosaic art work. Because of the numerous descriptions of thelovely blue tiles, I was expecting something different in my mind - likewalking into a sea of blue. Yes, thereare a lot of blue tiles but there are more white tiles so it was more likewalking into a partly cloudy sky scape. Aside from this erroneous expectation, it was beautiful (that happens fairly often in life doesn't it?).

Here's a little aside - Turkey is a secular country with a population that is 96-97% Muslim. Istanbul is a huge city, I just checked Wikipedia and they say as of the end of 2010 there are approximately 13 million people in the city. I'm not sure what the physical parameters of the city are, but that is less than the 15, 16 or 17 million I kept hearing while visiting there. While there are many mosques in Istanbul, I was surprised by the small number of woman I saw wearing scarves (hijabs) covering their hair. I thought the majority of women might wear scarves but I'd say, where I was maybe 10% were. And there were some very professional women wearing them. One cannot "judge a book by it's cove" whether they are wearing scarves on their heads or running shoes on their feet! Istanbul is a mature and modern city, I don't know if that has any bearing on dress code or not. Another example of my uneducated expectations being different that what I saw.

Back to the Blue Mosque - or it's proper name, Sultan Ahmed Mosque. It’s the first mosque I’ve ever been in. It was built between 1609 and 1616 and I’m alwaysin awe of architecture on a massive scale which has survived for such a longtime. And the variety of designs of intricate handmade ceramic tiles astonishing and beautiful to look at.

Another thing I learned from our impromptu host, Omer, was that Jesus is one of the prophets of the Muslimreligion. He is mentioned by name in the Quran 25 times which is more often than Mohammed is mentioned. I know nothing about Islam so I'm not going to say any more. If you know me you know I'm not a "religious" person, but it made me very happy to know that Jesus is respected here too.

After completing our visit to the Blue Mosque, Omer showed us to the near-by entrance to the cisterns and toldus it would take about 30 minutes to visit the underground water system. Talk about historical - this enormous underground cistern was build in 527-565 and can hold a 100,000 tons of water. In the photo you can see a few of the marble columns - there are 12 rows of 28 columns. That's a lot of marble!! The most recent restoration was in the mid 1980s and it is now a tourist site rather than a source water for the city. And yes, there are fish.

After the cisterns, Omer invited us to visit him at his family’scarpet and jewelry shops for tea afterwards. We did. We learned a lot aboutdesigns in different carpet patterns. Different styles are woven in different regions. They had a little bit of everything fromsimple loom woven rugs to double knot luxurious rugs with intricate patterns toeven more intricate embroideries. There were some designs which remind me ofNative American designs of the American southwest. His uncle joined us – the shop owner and Irealized not only was it informative, it was also a sales presentation. Which one did I want? Hmmmm. I actually love the feel and colors of fabric design, so Iwas willing to consider purchasing one of the least expensive ones. I left with a handwoven carpet with a simplepattern and one of the smaller price tag. Thefringe at each end of the carpet is gathered into little clusters and this is asign that the young woman who wove it is not yet married. The carpet comes from a region called Cappadocia in central Turkey. It's region with many interesting rock formations and even homes built into the rocks and cliffs (similar to Bryce Canyon). Some people still live inside their homes in the rocks. Somehow it seemed perfect since I came to this part of the world from the gorgeous red rocks of Sedona. I walked away with a purchase I wasn’tplanning on, but I now the happy owner of a piece of woven art from Turkey. I feltthey were kind, and not high pressure salesmen, and it is something that willhelp my feet stay warm on cold winter days and nights – guaranteed for 70years. :>) Next, across the plaza, we went to a mosque-turned-musem called Hagia Sophia (Aya Sofia). Another amazing historical feat - built between 532 and 537 with 1,000 masters and 10,000 workers. It was originally built as a Byzantine Church and converted to a mosque in 1453. The upkeep was not as pristine as the other mosques I visited while in Istanbul. Some parts and tiles were showing wear and tear. Again the sheer size is impressive.

We headed back over the Golden Horn to our apartment and the part of town that is beginning to feel like home. While it's been a full day we talk about going to an American movie at a theater - something I haven't done in almost a year. We're walking along the charming Istiklal Street and we actually find a theater with an American movie beginning in 15 minutes. The title is in Turkish and we don't know what it is but it has Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet in it. So o.k. - let's check it out. The theater is interesting. We choose seats about 1/2 way back and sit in the middle of the row. There are only about 10 people there so options were many. What was interesting is that the rows of seats in front of us were slightly higher with each row, not lower. The screen was fairly high on the front wall so it seemed more comfortable to me. Each row had the seats staggered so everyone would sit between the two people in the row in front of them. Our movie adventure only lasted about 20 minutes or so though. At the end of the first reel (do they still have reels) the movie stopped. Whether it was a planned or unplanned intermission I don't know, but we both were ready to leave. I later looked up the movie on the Internet and found out the name was "Carnage." It wasn't bloody carnage, it was psychological carnage between to sets of parents over an incident between their pre-teen sons. There's more than enough angst and blame in the world already, I don't want to sit through 90 minutes of it and call it entertainment. It's not for me. So good for us - we left and had an enjoyable evening at home. Tomorrow is another day.

What's happened to me lately:

Winter break was a lovely time full of no school and snow and relaxation and sleeping in late and not showering if I didn't feel like it and more food than a single person should consume and elephants. Only one of those things is a lie.

I had to call in sick for the first time this year cuz I had a migraine (also a first for this year - I get less and less of those which has been so very nice) and two of my students came by my house during their break to make sure I was OK. I didn't exactly appreciate it at the time as I was forced to leave my bed in order to respond to their incessant pounding but I thought it was sweet much later.

I got invited to a 5th graders b-day party. It's tomorrow in the Mahala (a smaller, poorer area outside of our town). I'm actually pretty excited about it. The last time I went to a 5th grader's party, when I was in 5th grade, I had a really good time so I'm anticipating A LOT of fun.

I got married. No, wait, that was a dream. It was to Tim Gunn. I don't wanna talk about it. Stop asking.

I started teaching an art class after school. My counterpart and I bought all the supplies with the money the girls from my Volunteer Committee raised during the summer. We're also going to paint a big mural for the classroom with a Peace theme. I'm excited.

I've applied to 5 grad schools. Seattle, Milwaukee, Pittsburg (I know, ew), and 2 in New York. So much paperwork. Sheesh.

I'm planning this real big thing for my birthday which involves ignoring it completely. I'll just be 25 for awhile, I think. And then, when I can no longer get away with that, I'll just be 29 forever. I'm not afraid of looking older (lie), just being older. There are certain things expected of someone as they draw nearer their thirties and I just don't wanna.

I danced. And not just alone in my apartment but at a place for dancing and with, like, people. They danced with me, they didn't just watch me dance. It wasn't like that. It was an equal dancing opportunity kinda situation. Though there were professional dancers there too - we watched them. It wasn't creepy, they kept their clothes on. It wasn't like that. I gave them a thumbs up when they were on a break which I think they appreciated. I wore a dress and drank 2 beers for the cost of 7. It was nice.

As I've mentioned, I live on the second story of a two-story house and I now have permanent neighbors on the first floor. They are two older dudes. One speaks English OK. Their nice. My director asked me to leave class in order to come talk to her in her office. I was a little freaked out and thought I was gonna be in trouble (not sure why but, hey, it's the principal's office) but it turns out she just wanted to make sure I was comfortable living with those two guys on the first floor. I said I was and she said OK and then I left without detention.

I'm in the middle of watching all 10 seasons of Friends. More than any American-based TV show I've watched in Bulgaria, and there have been many, this one makes me miss home. I wanna live in an apartment in New York with all my best friends and drink lots of coffee and laugh and date men with serious yet comical issues and just have a great time worthy of being watched every Thursday night at 8:00pm. I'd also just like to live near real good friends again. I miss that. I know integration is an important part of this and I have made friends but my friends are my mother's age and have lives far different than mine. But, that'll be my life again soon so I might as well get the most I can out of Bulgaria over these next few months, huh? Yeah, OK.That's all. I'd write more often but, I don't want to. OK, bye!

-Age

What's happened to me lately:

Winter break was a lovely time full of no school and snow and relaxation and sleeping in late and not showering if I didn't feel like it and more food than a single person should consume and elephants. Only one of those things is a lie.

I had to call in sick for the first time this year cuz I had a migraine (also a first for this year - I get less and less of those which has been so very nice) and two of my students came by my house during their break to make sure I was OK. I didn't exactly appreciate it at the time as I was forced to leave my bed in order to respond to their incessant pounding but I thought it was sweet much later.

I got invited to a 5th graders b-day party. It's tomorrow in the Mahala (a smaller, poorer area outside of our town). I'm actually pretty excited about it. The last time I went to a 5th grader's party, when I was in 5th grade, I had a really good time so I'm anticipating A LOT of fun.

I got married. No, wait, that was a dream. It was to Tim Gunn. I don't wanna talk about it. Stop asking.

I started teaching an art class after school. My counterpart and I bought all the supplies with the money the girls from my Volunteer Committee raised during the summer. We're also going to paint a big mural for the classroom with a Peace theme. I'm excited.

I've applied to 5 grad schools. Seattle, Milwaukee, Pittsburg (I know, ew), and 2 in New York. So much paperwork. Sheesh.

I'm planning this real big thing for my birthday which involves ignoring it completely. I'll just be 25 for awhile, I think. And then, when I can no longer get away with that, I'll just be 29 forever. I'm not afraid of looking older (lie), just being older. There are certain things expected of someone as they draw nearer their thirties and I just don't wanna.

I danced. And not just alone in my apartment but at a place for dancing and with, like, people. They danced with me, they didn't just watch me dance. It wasn't like that. It was an equal dancing opportunity kinda situation. Though there were professional dancers there too - we watched them. It wasn't creepy, they kept their clothes on. It wasn't like that. I gave them a thumbs up when they were on a break which I think they appreciated. I wore a dress and drank 2 beers for the cost of 7. It was nice.

As I've mentioned, I live on the second story of a two-story house and I now have permanent neighbors on the first floor. They are two older dudes. One speaks English OK. Their nice. My director asked me to leave class in order to come talk to her in her office. I was a little freaked out and thought I was gonna be in trouble (not sure why but, hey, it's the principal's office) but it turns out she just wanted to make sure I was comfortable living with those two guys on the first floor. I said I was and she said OK and then I left without detention.

I'm in the middle of watching all 10 seasons of Friends. More than any American-based TV show I've watched in Bulgaria, and there have been many, this one makes me miss home. I wanna live in an apartment in New York with all my best friends and drink lots of coffee and laugh and date men with serious yet comical issues and just have a great time worthy of being watched every Thursday night at 8:00pm. I'd also just like to live near real good friends again. I miss that. I know integration is an important part of this and I have made friends but my friends are my mother's age and have lives far different than mine. But, that'll be my life again soon so I might as well get the most I can out of Bulgaria over these next few months, huh? Yeah, OK.That's all. I'd write more often but, I don't want to. OK, bye!

-Age