At the beginning of April I had the privilege of hosting two trainees for an immersion day. The idea was for them to come to my town and stay with a family of my choosing so they weren’t around English. Also, by staying with a family they could practice expressing their needs (in Spanish of course) and know a different place. The second day, the trainees were to spend the day job shadowing me so they could see first hand what volunteers actually do. I had elected for them to spend the night at my house so they could also experience a little of my social life in town. The third day, they were to leave and go back to training.

So here’s how it went: The trainees were supposed to show up at my Alcaldía (City Hall) to meet me (we hadn’t met before). But when the trainees got off the bus they sat in the park and did not enter the Alcaldía. From my Alcaldía window there is a great view of the central park and we can see everything. I used the restroom in the back of the Alcaldía and when I returned I found all the employees lined up and starring out the window. One of my friends turned around and said, “Juli, there are two gringas in the park. Are they here for you?” I laughed then went outside to greet the trainees and to invite them into the Alcaldía. I approached them and introduced myself as a group of students that were in the park starred at us to see who the new gringas were in town. I asked the trainees why they did not go into the Alcaldía and they told me that they thought one of the students was me. I asked them why and they told me that they have never seen a Salvadoran with light brown hair, green eyes and pale skin so they thought I was the student. (Look at my picture, I have dark brown hair and brown eyes).

The trainees entered the Alcaldía and met the employees who were there and then we were off. That first day the trainees were with me they observed me giving an English class at the high school. I continued to ask them when they wanted to go to their host families and they kept telling me “later”…”later”. They were nervous to be put with a family they did not know. But they finally went.

The hardest part of this experience for me was getting rid of the shyness and fear of asking community members if they would be willing to host people. I was just asking them to host any particular person. I was asking them to host people they do not know, who are from another culture and may or may not speak Spanish. I was certain I would get laughed at and everyone would tell me NO. I thought long and hard about who I would ask. I tried to think of people in my community who have already affected me in someway; whether that was listening to me when I felt lost, or giving me a hug when I needed one, or explaining something about their culture or just being my understanding and loving friends. When I began thinking like that, it was easy for me to select the families I would ask. I sucked it up, got over my fear and asked because I wanted to share these amazing people with the trainees.

The families:

Family one: The first woman I asked is someone I met within my first couple of weeks in town. (Out of respect I will not use her real name so I will call her Ms. Jane.) Ms. Jane is a special woman and loved by all. Ms. Jane is a widow due to the war. Her daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter live with her. Ms. Jane is the only woman who sets on the City Council and is a leader in her community. She lives in a neighboring town about a 25 minute walk from my house.

I saw her in the Alcaldía one day and asked if she would consider hosting a friend of mine. She told me that there was nothing to consider and that she would be honored to do me the favor. I did a house visit a week later to explain better the immersion days and to see if her family was comfortable with having a stranger in the house. I was given a green light to bring the trainee when she came. So I did. I left the trainee with them and I was on my way to drop the other one with her family.

Family two: The second family I asked is my neighbors. I arrived at their house to ask and found myself in front of the entire family. Mom and dad, my friend (we’re the same age) and my friend’s two nephews. I explained what the immersion days are and that I needed a place for a friend to stay. My friend and her mom immediately said yes. I was shocked with their openness to having a foreigner in their home and asked them if they wanted to talk it over and let me know the next day. They thought I was crazy and assured me that it would not be a problem.

So that was it. I had both families selected and on board for an experience they will always remember.

The day the trainees came, I delivered their gringa to them and that was that.

The experience:

The day the trainees arrived was a Thursday, so it was that night they spent with the families. The next morning, that would be a Friday, the trainees trickled in my house telling me about their experience.

The trainee who stayed with Ms. Jane and her family talked about playing with the granddaughter and eating all the food in the house. She even told me that she had an amazing conversation with Ms. Jane’s son-in-law about immigration. The trainee told me that she thought her Spanish was understandable and that she thought she understood them, so it was a great experience. She even exchanged addresses and phone numbers with the family so they can keep in touch.

The trainee who stayed at my neighbors made friends with my friend quickly. The trainee told me all about how she learned how to make tortillas and about talking with my friend’s fiancé about his experiences as a child solider in the war. She learned more about him than I still know. It was a perfect match to place her there.

Having the trainees come to my house telling me a bout a great time put me at ease. I was stressing out the whole night that something would go wrong. But nothing ever did. Well, something did go wrong, but not with them.

Getting sick and some bad news:

Thursday night after I dropped the trainees off with their families I started to loose my voice. I didn’t think much of it because I never loose my voice. Well, when I woke up on Friday morning I couldn’t speak. For the job shadowing part of the day I had planned on having the trainees help me plan an environmental charla (presentation) and then I was going to give the charla to a group of students I work with. I went to the school as soon as I woke up to speak with the teacher I work with and she encouraged me to plan the charla for another day since I could not speak. It was the right thing to do.

On my walk back home a friend asked me if I went to the vela (wake) the night before. I was confused and asked who died. She told me, “your grandpa.” To make a long story even longer I have to explain. When I first arrived to town I was friendless and didn’t know anyone my age. A man who works in the city hall introduced me to one of his daughters who is only four months older than I. We became great friends and we were inseparable for the longest time so we said we were sisters and I soon began calling her family my family. So, when it was said that my grandfather died, it was actually hers. I was not aware that he had died because it had happened so late at night, otherwise I would have gone to the wake. I spoke with my family and they informed me of what had happened and that there would be another wake because so many people were unaware of grandpa’s passing.

Anyway, there I was, sitting in my house without a voice and a dead grandfather waiting for the trainees to show up to shadow me. As I already mentioned, they trainees talked my ear off about what a great time they each had with their families. When the trainees arrived I explained to them what had happened and that that evening we would be attending a wake. The trainees, not having known the dead, did not want to go. They worked out a plan of hanging out in my house and relaxing…something that is very rare while one is in training. I agreed and then ushered them to the city hall to socialize.

At the city hall, one of the lovely employees asked if they would be going to the wake with me. I explained what they wanted to do and she insisted on helping out. In five minutes she and another lovely employee made plans for dinner with the trainees. The trainees were to spend the evening with them learning how to make pupusas. I have to admit. In that moment, I was a little jealous. They have never offered to teach me how to make pupusas. But looking at the situation, they did it for me so I wouldn’t have to worry about the trainees while I was at the wake. These two employees never do anything together outside of work but here they were making plans to make my evening a little easier. They care for me so much that they changed their plans and sacrificed an evening to help me out. They are great people who I love dearly.

After the city hall, we went to play softball. At the time, I was playing three times a week so I thought it would be important to show the trainees part of my downtime as well. The trainees were a hit and everyone was cheering for them. After two hours of hard play they went to make pupusas and I went to the wake. The next morning they told me all about their pupusa making experience and how much they enjoyed everything about my town. And then they were gone.

It has now been over a month since the trainees have come but people still ask about them. Everyone wants to know where they live and when they’re coming back. There are even people that ask me what happened to my beautiful friends that never even met them. I don’t know when the they will have time to visit again but when they do, I now the town will be excited.

I have been receiving emails and myspace messages demanding that I write an entry...I'm working on it. I have a long one started and hopefully I will post it soon. In the meantime, I thought I would give you all a little update on my bat, Tommy.

I have begged Tommy to move out, but he won't go. I have smacked him with a broom, but that just makes him angry and more determined to stay. I have given him his own room but it must not be big enough because he always comes to mine. I even bought garlic, cut it up and sprinkled it everywhere, and all I was left with was a smelly house. Tommy knew I wanted him to go but he has refused. Instead of moving out he has brought in his wife and their kids. I am really upset that they aren't paying rent and that Tommy didn't tell me he was seeing someone. But on the otherhand, I admire Tommy for stepping up and taking his responsibilities like a man.

Tommy's vampire children have learned from him. They fly through the house like a bunch of crazies and the poor mom is always chasing after the kids because she knows I am there waiting with my broom in hand ready to clobber them. Although, it may seem that I am the crazy one. Afterall, I run around the house with Frijol in tow and with a broom swinging it in the air at momentary black streaks that pass by. But I will succeed...I have begun to succeed.

Tommy's family has been on guard this week, because last week I succeeded in clobbering one of the little guys. I said a small prayer and asked for forgiveness as I through the rabies infested creature into the trash. I don't call it a murder, I call it a sacrifice. A sacrifice so I can live a little more peacefully and reduce the amount of rabies in the air. (Don't worry though, Frijol and I both have our vacinactions). If you like, please join Tommy and his family in mourning this week, but please take note that there are more trash can funerals to come.

I am sure that you are all thinking I am crazy...trust me, I'm not. Do you all remember my rat story? This is kinda like that. It will be a learning experience for all!

Here is a bug. I don't know what it is. It's not a spider...God only knows.

Gross.

This is my bat Tommy. I wish he would move out.

Here is my new puppy, Frijol.

February is an important month. It is the month which happens to carry Valentine’s Day…the day of love and friendship. Oh, and my birthday.

In the States, we tend to focus Valentine’s Day around romantic relationships. The stores are filled with candies and gifts to give your boyfriend or girlfriend, and it seems that all of us who are not in a relationship walk around bitter inside until the shelves are cleared of chocolate hearts. However, I find Día de San Valentín to be a little nicer here in El Salvador. I did not here a word about Valentine’s Day before it came; nor did I see aisle upon aisle filled with over inflated balloons, candy and flower arrangements. I forgot Valentine’s Day arrived.

I should say I forgot it arrived until 5:25am on the 14th. That is the time I received my first message wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day. Throughout the day I received more and more messages, which were all from friends thanking me for my friendship and wishing me a great day. I even received a couple of friendship gifts. I was thrown off by the gift giving because I had nothing to give in return but it was nice. In the City Hall, we even had a special lunch to celebrate friendships.

I enjoy Día de San Valentín more here than I do in the States. I enjoy it more because the day is not just about celebrating intimate relationships but also just basic friendships. I think being here was the first time I have stopped and evaluated what my friendships mean to me. For the first time ever, I see the importance of nurturing a friendship and keeping it true.

I supposed another reason I say some of that is because I just had my first birthday out of the country. A week before my birthday a friend’s mom asked what I was doing for my birthday. I told her nothing and that is how I wanted it. She asked if she could buy me a cake and I told her it wasn’t necessary. The day of my birthday my friend took me up into the mountains where there was a place to swim and to hike. We did a little of both. It was the best afternoon I have spent in a while…well, I always have great, memorable times with her.

Anyway, once we arrived back at her house there was a huge banner taped on the wall that said, “Happy Birthday July”. Her family was all there and they sang to me as I blew out my two candles and made a wish. The day was perfect. I even spent time with my other best friend and her family eating pupusas. This was the best February I have ever had.

The first time I came to El Salvador was in January of 2006. That was a trip organized through my social work program at Iowa and the Wesley Center on campus. Prior to the trip I was required to read three books and watch a movie. The books were: Liberation Theology: An Introductory Guide, From Grandmothers to Granddaughters, and The Massacre at El Mozote. And the movie was Romero. These four pieces gave me a foundation for the trip that changed my life. I had toyed around with the idea of joining the Peace Corps for a couple years but it was this trip where I decided that I had to join the Peace Corps.

The trip was designed for me to learn about liberation theology from those who lived it in the time of war and continue today. More than anything, the trip was to show me poverty like I have never before seen and the many social injustices which exist in the world. During my time here two years ago, I visited war museums and nearly cried at the sight of photos of dead bodies and young children holding guns. I saw remains of homes that were bombed and shot at. I visited with former combatants (guerillas), war victims, orphans, rural schools and so many other people and organizations. The entire week and a half was so surreal to me.

When I returned from El Salvador one of my pastors loaned me Voces Inocentes. The first time I saw it, I cried. But they were those kind of tears that fall without you knowing because you are so shocked…or maybe it is that I was so involved in what I was seeing that it was unbelievable. Whatever it was, the movie hit a cord with me.

I have a friend here who says it’s a good movie but only 70% is true. Then there are others who swear that it talks about the truth even though they say the war was even worse than that for children…for everyone. I will not take credit away from the man who suggested this movie to my pastor…the man that fled for his life during the war and went to the United States…the man who left his daughter and pregnant wife to avoid being forcefully recruited into the war by either side.

I try to think what my childhood was like and I remember playing with toys, swimming and running around the neighborhood with my brothers. My childhood was about me learning how to socialize with others and how to behave. However, here in El Salvador, the people who are my age, my brothers’ ages, they have a different view on what their childhood was like. For many of them their childhood was about staying alive. I walk around my pueblo and people tell me how calm it was during the war in this area. Then they go on to show me stray bullet holes in the walls and point out where people were killed and tell me stories about bodies floating in the reservoir. They say it was calm here and they were lucky, but yet they have horror stories about the war. It was calm here, but people feared for their lives. It was calm here but people were always scared.I cannot imagine a childhood where it is necessary to learn to hate, to kill, to never trust anyone.

Perhaps the memories are still to strong and the war is still too real for some people. I have to remember that just a short time ago people here were killing each other.

I had someone ask me, what are some of the differences between your previous trips and your trip with the Peace Corps?

Well, for starters, I do not consider the Peace Corps a trip. When I travelled to Guatemala and El Salvador before, I always had a return plane ticket and a home to go home to. Now, I live in El Salvador. Not having specific return date to the United States really adds to the seriousness of being here. When I have a bad day here I cannot think, “Oh well, I’ll be home in a week and can relax.” Here, I have to deal with the bad days and know that another just like it – or worse – will come. Being here is not a trip or a vacation where I am escaping; there are days here when I want to escape so I can recharge.

In my previous travel experiences I could push aside cultural differences that I did not understand and move about my day. However, here, I struggle to understand some of the same things I once ignored. I cannot neglect differences here. The same goes for the Salvadorans I interact with. We all try to be more patient and take the time to explain why we do things differently, because we all know that two years is too long to not make an attempt to understand one another. There are many times that it is difficult and we leave a conversation frustrated but we always try again.

For me, this is not a trip where I will return home and show people photos of exotic excursions I went on and everything will soon fade into a memory. This is two years of my life. These two years will shape me into a new person. Being in the Peace Corps will become part of my life. It will become part of who I am. I guess it already is.

My previous experiences abroad varied somewhat. The first trip I made to Guatemala was in the summer of 2004 for three weeks with a group of students from Kirkwood Community College. During this trip I lived with a rather wealthy family and had nearly all the same luxuries of home (except for food). I attended private Spanish lessons everyday for four hours, and in the afternoons I had some sort of cultural activity to attend. The cultural activities included going to a coffee finca, watching movies, reading poems, attending museums, listening to various speakers, and more. During the weekends I travelled to some of the most popular tourist destinations. When I returned home I wrote a paper for one of my classes and moved about my life.

The next trip I made was for ten days in January of 2006 to El Salvador. I took this trip with a small group of social work students from the University of Iowa. Prior to going to El Salvador we read a few books and wrote a few papers. During the trip we visited museums, a boys home (where I got bit by a dog), water projects, a solidarity organization (CIS, there is a link to their site on this blog), former war combatants, and so much more. The idea of this trip was to observe and be witness to the social, political and economic injustices that the people of El Salvador face day-in and day-out. It was an up-in-your-face experience showing us how the war affected people and the struggles people face living in poverty. Prior to this particular trip to El Salvador I had played around with the idea of joining the Peace Corps, but it was during this trip that I decided it was something I had to do.

In May of 2006, I boarded a plane for Guatemala to participate in a five week social work study abroad program through North Carolina State University (NC State). During these five weeks, I attended four hours of private Spanish lessons daily, participated in a service learning project and had a weekly Social Work class with assigned readings. For the service learning project, I worked in an agency called Una Vida Sin Violencia (A life without violence). The agency helps in the struggle against domestic violence and works to educate the community about gender equality, human rights and so much more. Each day I arrived at the agency there was always work for me to do and the women at the agency were very supportive. The work I did ranged from creating educational posters about the various forms of domestic violence, the cycle and how to break it; to attending human rights workshops and more.

I lived with an untraditional host family. I say untraditional because the family was an indigenous family who lived in a two room house without running water. The family sacrificed the majority of the space they had just to give me a private room with a table so I could study. To wash my clothes or to bathe, I had to walk down to the lake.

When the NC State program ended, I stayed in Guatemala for another seven weeks, but in a different community. I returned to the Spanish school I had attended two years before and once again took private Spanish lessons everyday for four hours. Just like the previous trip to Guatemala, I stayed with another wealthy family. In the afternoons I volunteered in a hospital. While there, I talked with residents, helped clean, helped feed some of the patients, and more.

And now, here I am in El Salvador. The difference between the work I have previously done abroad and the work I do now, is that before the work was laid out for me to do and here I have to create the work. I am the first volunteer that my community has ever had so it is a challenge. There are communities that know Peace Corps well and know the type of assistance we bring; then there are communities like mine that have no clue. I wish I could say I am busy working everyday to fulfil the objectives of the Municipal Development Program but that is not the case. I have faced many challenges in the agency to which I have been assigned, and I am currently working to overcome those challenges and find ways around some of the barriers. In the meantime, I am teaching a short session of English classes and focusing on the Peace Corps goals of promoting friendship and learning about the Salvadoran culture while I try to identify motivated people to work with.

I hope that answers the question…

Last week I was in my house with a neighbor when we heard a loud thud. I then asked her if someone was throwing things at my house. She quickly told me yes and that the thud was a rock. I went outside to see a group of young boys sitting in front of store across the street laughing. Assuming that they were throwing rocks I began to yell at them. However, I was quickly appologizing as a friend who was walking by told me that the electrial line that goes into the house put off a spark and a 'pop' (here known as a chispa).

The next day I told my landlady what had happen and she explained that sometime the neighbor boys like throwing thing at my fruit trees to try to knock the fruit down. Taking in what she said and what I had initially thought the night before, I was certain there was nothing wrong with the electricity and that the boys were in fact throwing things at my house. Plus, if there had been a spark from the electrical lines that strong, I think the lights would have flickered or dimmed somewhat...but nothing happened.

By the time yesterday rolled around I had forgotten about the whole thing. As I was getting home, my neighbor across the street, the one who owns the store, asked me if I have had any problems with the electricity since the chispa. I explained to her that everything was great and that I believed there was no chispa. After talking for a while I went in the house to find that I did not have electricity. I was wrong.

I tried calling my landlady but no answer. I began walking to her house when I passed a friend's house who I was supposed to have dinner with to celebrate his birthday. I explained, 'no hay luz en la casa'...there's no light in the house. I then told all my friends I needed to go talk to my landlady and I would be back. I went to her house but did not see her so I returned. It was now dark and my friends asked me what my landlady said. Upon learning that I did not find her they all jumped into action and within 5 minutes they had the electrician at my house and he had the line repaired in no more than 20 minutes. It was that easy.

Why the long story about loosing power in my house? Well, to simply show that kindness is universal. When we have a problem in the States there is always someone we can call to fix them, and when we can't do that we have friends. Here it is the same.

Being the first Peace Corps volunteer in my site is a challenge. When it comes to actual work I do, well, I don't do much. I help out in the Alcaldia with random tasks but the work I am here to do...that I want to do...has not taken off yet. I have had some problems with workplace harassment that has left me a little discouraged and unsure about what to do. It is common for volunteers to have a long introductory period into their sites, but no matter how many times I hear someone it's normal, I want to scream, 'give me something to do!' I am not the type of person to sit around and wait for work.

Needless to say I am not too excited about the work I do because of right now I do nothing. However, the friends I have made here are priceless and that makes me the luckiest person ever. In less than three months I have made some incredible friends who would bend over backwards for me, put their birthday dinner on hold so I can have power in my house, always leave their door open so I can visit whenever I want and most importantly, they are just simply there. They are the reasons I could stay here forever.

Throughout the years there have been some incredible Peace Corps volunteers here in El Salvador. Volunteers have formed a committee which fundraises and gives scholarships to young women in need so they can attend school and look towards a brighter future. The scholarships are given so these young women can attend elementary and high school; otherwise they would not have the means to continue their education.

I am asking all of you who know me or just happen to stumble across this blog for help. Any donation that you can give will help out tremendously. Please take the time to read the following letter my fellow volunteers have put together. Having access to a higher education has opened up so many doors for me and I hope that you all will help give that same opportunity to some very bright, motivated and deserving Salvadoran young ladies.

Juli

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San Salvador, 10th October 2007

Dear Family and Friends of Peace Corps / El Salvador,

Greetings from the Women and Youth in Development (WYD) Committee! We received your name from a Peace Corps Volunteer serving in El Salvador. We would like to take this opportunity to inform you of our scholarship program and how you can make a difference in the lives of young women and their communities throughout El Salvador.

For those of you who are new to the work of the WYD Committee, we are a group of Peace Corps Volunteers entrusted with administering a scholarship program for girls who are bright and motivated to study but lack the financial resources necessary to continue their education. Please read the attached newsletter to learn more about the scholarship program and how you can help support it. For those of you, who have donated in the past, receive our sincere thanks for your generosity. Please enjoy reading about how your donation has made a difference in the lives of young women all over El Salvador.

We write to you today because we need your help this year. The time has come to select scholarship recipients for the 2008 school year, and we have many deserving applications. Perhaps your family member or friend serving in El Salvador has nominated a bright student from his or her community. However, donations have been very low in this past year. Without your help, we will be forced to deny many deserving young women the chance to continue their education.

In El Salvador, the costs of entrance fees, monthly quotas, transport, books, uniforms, and extracurricular activities prohibit many rural youth, and especially young women, from attending school. WYD scholarships help motivated women who would otherwise not continue their education to keep studying and become leaders in the development of their communities and their country.

That's why we are humbly asking that, if your family is able, that you consider sending a donation as quickly as possible to the WYD Scholarship program.

Checks can be made out to American Society of El Salvador (ASES) and sent to:

*Please write ‘WYD’ in the memo line

WYD Programa Becario

c/o Sonia Díaz de Flores

Cuerpo de Paz / El Salvador

Colonia San Francisco, Ave Las Dalias No. 3

San Salvador, El Salvador, C.A.

We hope that you will consider supporting the young women of El Salvador to continue their studies and develop the knowledge and abilities that will enable them to be leaders in their communities.

Sincerely,

The Women and Youth in Development Committee, Peace Corps / El Salvador

Well, I finally did it. I now have my own house. Just two short weeks ago, I went to see the house I am now renting and the first thing I asked was 'when can I move in?'. It was that Saturday I went to the house with my landlady and her two kids to clean it, and just this past Wednesday night I moved in.

My house is a bit farther from where I was living before, maybe a 10 minute walk to the town park, but I enjoy the walk. I get to see so many more people than I did before on my walk to work and I have some of the greatest neighbors.

My house is enormous. I have 2 large bedrooms, a kitchen, living room and bathroom. Unlike where I was living before, I do not need to go outside to use the bathroom or to bathe. My shower is indoors and better lit. The main difference is now I have an indoor letrine versus an outdoor flush toilet. But the truth is I love the fact I do not have to go outside in the middle of the night or in the rain to do my business. The main part of my house is made of adobe with a ceramic tile roof and the bedrooms are made of cement with a stronger roof.

The house was vaccant for the past two years so every now and then I come across some of the locals. When I say locals I mean bats, spiders, lizards, scorpians and snakes, just to name a few. The critter that bothers me the most are the bats. I can't get over them flying around my room when I am trying to sleep. One of the bats landed on one of the ceramic tiles in the living room and I saw it as a great opportunity to kill it. I took a long stick and tried to jab at the bat. Well, I hit the bat but all it did was fly away. The roof on the other hand did not fair as great. I managed to punch a hole through my roof because I shattered the tile. I have since fixed the rood but it made me realize that there are some things you should really think out.

I also have another type of bug in the house that I cannot figure out what it is. It looks a lot like a spider but only has six legs. I am sure my neighbor thinks I am a little crazy because I saved all of the dead ones to ask him what they are. After asking, I threw them away...I never did get a straight answer, but I did learn that they don't bite. Which, was all I really wanted to know anyway. As long as they don't crawl in bed with me we won't have any problems.

On a side note, Mom, thank you for the box of goodies. And Shelle, I love the shirts! Everyone here loves them too.

First of all, I would like to apologize to everyone for not explaining anything about me being here. I haven't been to descriptive...but I promise...I will do better.

I arrived in my site, Santa Rita, on August 17th. Though I had been optimistic about coming here I was scared to death. I knew that when I got off that bus, the next two years of my life would begin. On the bus ride to my site, I couldn´t help but think about what I had suposedly learned in training, but the only thing I could remember was numerous volunteers and trainers and a million other random people saying "get to know people." I couldn't help but think, "how am I supposed to get to know people when I am still trying to get to know myself?" I am, however, getting to know people...but slowly. I spoke with one of the ladies in my training group and she has told me that she as already been in contact with more than 1400 people in her community. Well, that sounds too overwhelming to me...more power to her...she's a rockstar! I am taking things nice and slow, and poco a poco (little by little), I am meeting people. I would like to be a little busier than what I am, but I think by going slower I am absorbing more of what people are feeling when they speak to me. Besides, I live in a very small community and in smaller communities the people tend to be closer and I do not want to cause another ripple in their sea of tranquility.

Just being an outsider coming in I have caused a ripple. Everyone wants to know who that "gringa" is and why she is here. I do have to say that it is difficult being in someone else's world. I have came acrossed more cultural differences than I though existed, and I have taken many courses on culture and diversity. For me, the biggest cutural struggle has been the way I speak compared to people here. I don't mean that I speak with an accent or use different words...I mean that I am blunt and to the point when I speak and people here tend to talk in circles. If you ask me a question, I'll tell you what I think and you'll be on your way. If you ask a Salvadoran a question, half an hour later you still won't have it. Though there are numerous cultural differences, there are also many cultural similarities.

The most important thing I have learned here so far is that there are somethings a person should never tolerate just to prevent creating ripples...or should I say tidal waves. I had previously written that I loved everyone I would be working with...well, that's now not the case. We have the saying, "you only get to make a first impression once," well, just because the first impression is great doesn't mean that is how things really are. After getting to know my counterpart, I can honestly say that first impressions mean nothing. I know this is really vague and lacking details, but I need to leave this thought here for now.

Since, I arrived I have been living with a large family. On the weekends there are eight people in the house, nine including me. The family consists of the parents, Chita and Antonio; their children Olvin, Marvin, Iris and Edgardo; as well as Edgardo's girlfriend Patty and their daughter, Nicole. During the week Olvin, Marvin, Iris and Patty are in the capital studying and working. They come on the weekends and during vacations...and sometimes during the week because they love being home. I live with them because there were not any houses for me to live in alone and they were the only family that had enough space to house an extra person. So that is where I am for now. I hope to start house hunting next month...I could use my personal space. I just haven't figured out a way to explain to Chita that I love living with them but it is just part of our culture that we prefer our independence.

Their house is very large and made of adobe. However, they have put a layer of cement over the adobe walls and painted it green. The roof consists of old ceramic tiles that tend to leak when it rains. Everyday, several times a day, I have to wipe I layer of dust and dirt off of my bed and other belongings which falls from the roof. Despite some of the houses imperfections, I like it.

Chita also has a small business she runs out of her house. Everyday she makes cheese and cream so there are always people in and out to buy. Then on Sunday mornings she makes quesadillas in an old adobe oven and sells them. (Quesadillas here are a type of bread...not tortillas, chicken and cheese).

...tell next time...

I just want to give a quick shout out to the Spanish Classes in Red Oak! Muchas gracias por su comentario! Me alegre que la carta ha llegado. I look forward to hearing from you all! Take care!

I have received a ton of emails from folks asking how I am so here it is...I am fantastic. I have been in my site now for one month and love it. Santa Rita is such a calm and quiet town.

I have been spending most of my time in the Alcaldia (City Hall) getting to know some people. I have gone to several meetings with different groups in the community but I still don´t know what I will be doing for the next 2 years. That is something I am still trying to figure it out. As I get to know people more, or should I say as they get to know me more, I feel that my projects will identify themselves.

When I am not at the Alcaldia I love to sit at home. My host family is great and I love just sitting in the hammock talking...or napping, which ever. I have started to play a little softball and hope to get more involved in that. I even started to learn to play soccer with the Women´s Peace Corps team.

I know this is short and boring but I have a headache and need to get going. I have an internet cafe but it is currently out of order. When I have internet in my town again I´ll post more often.

For those of you who asked, here is my address:

Lic. Julianna Binns, VCP

Alcaldia Municipal de Santa Rita

Calle Principal, Barrio El Centro

Santa Rita, Departamento de Chalatenango

El Salvador, C.A.

Nan...I tried to email you a wish list but this computer is not letting me send emails so here it is.

-Reese´s Pieces

-an embroider set (in the craft section at Wal-Mart they sell pillow cases with designs on them. I think the string, needles and ring is separate. I couldn´t think of anything for my host family so I would like to make some for them.)

-letter magnets-the kind you can stick on the fridge and kids can rearrange

-if you can find a used softball glove that would be great (keyword-used)

-kayaking magazine

-a bilingual Bible

Please don't feel like you need to get everything. I would be happy with just the stuff so I can embroider. Thank you Nan! Please tell Sarah and Ali I love them and to study hard. Also, tell your mom and Rick I say hello. Love you and Miss you!

Well, I know I have left you all waiting in suspense wanting to know where I will be at for the next two years, so...I will be in a pueblo (town) named Santa Rita which is in the Northern Department of Chalatenango.

I went on a site visit just two short weeks ago and fell in love with my new home. The climate is a little cooler there, but more importantly the people I will be working with are incredible. I know that I will always be able to count on them for help in whatever I do or in any situation that comes up.

For my site visit, I made my first solo bus trip ever and arrived at the Santa Rita Alcaldia (Mayor's Office) to be welcomed by a hug from my counterpart (the guy I will be working closely with to get started) and a 'Bienvenida Julianna' sign (Welcome Julianna). I then met the Señor Alcade (Mayor) and a member of the consejo municipal (kind of like a city council member). After meeting with them for a while I was taken to where I will be living. (I was really looking forward to living by myself but that is not an option at the moment). There are eight members in the familiy I will live with and they don't seem bothered to have a gringa dropped on them. The family seems great and I know that they will help me meet people in the community and integrate as well. I am really looking forward to getting to know them all.

Besides getting to see where I will live, I was able to see a little bit of the area thanks to my alcalde. He drove me to the department capital and took me out to lunch, showed me a well project he is working on and took me to a nearby hotel that has about six or seven pools...He said that he hopes I get visitors. And just to add, it's NICE...hint, hint. I was also invited to the consejo member's house to have atol (corn based cream drink) and elote (corn on the cob but white corn). It was a great afternoon! My site visit was filled will so much that I went back to training exhausted but ready to go back and start working.

As of right now, I am no longer a trainee. I am in orientation to become a volunteer...and that happens tomorrow. Friday will be my first full day as a volunteer and I move out to Santa Rita. Being so close to start working I find myself filled with excitement and nervousnes...I don't think they will ever go away so I am just going to ride this 'high' for a while! LATER!

My life as I know it...or don't know it...will be changed this afternoon. Today, I will find out where I will be living and working for the next two years. And next week I will get the opportunity to visit the place I will call home. These first six weeks of training has flown by and it is hard to believe that in another four weeks it will be over and I will officially be a Peace Corps volunteer. (It is hard to believe but I am ready for training to be over. It's not my favorite thing).

Each trainee has had an interview with Peace Corps staff so they can do the best they can to place us. In the interviews we are given the opportunity to express projects we might be interested in pursuing, groups we may want to work with and anything and everything else related to our personal interests. Each one of us have different interests and our own set of skills that we bring to this program so I cannot imagine how difficult it will be to place us.

On July 4th, I developed a head-to-toe heat rash that has changed my opinion from loving warmer weather to now missing Iowa's winters. As a result of my change of climate preference and my new fear of developing another heat rash, I repeatedly expressed the importance of a cooler site during my interview. So my main hope for wherever I end up living is that it is a cooler site.

I did express some interests in certain projects but the truth of it is is that I am open to doing anything. My main concern is not about what projects I will take on or if I will be successful with them, but rather I am more concerned with whether or not the community will accept an outsider. I know with time and patience it will happen because it takes time to form relationships with people, but I question if two years is really enough time to do that. I often wonder if I will be able to recognize the personal barriers to building relationships across cultures. It is obvious that there will always be a language barrier because I am not a native speaker, but will I recognize other barriers that aren't so obvious? And will I be able to adapt?

My thoughts are not all filled with worries though. For the most part I am excited and counting down to the day training ends. I haven't spoke with a volunteer yet that doesn't love their site. I know wherever I go I will love and never want to leave...it will become a part of who I am. I am going to make these next two years what I want them to be and they're going to be phenomenol!

In my other travel experiences I was able to adapt quite easily, but this isn't a travel experience. Some call this an adventure, some call it a journey, but no matter what it is called this is my life for the next two years...and I'll going to live it up the best I can!

After being in country for about a month I was finally able to get a hold of my brother, Scott, via phone. His chief complaint was that he reads the same blog entry everyday. Well, Scott, this is a new entry just for you....as long as you promise to tell Austin that Aunt Juli loves him and misses him. Throw in a hug and kiss, too.

Here's something I didn't tell you about. A couple weeks ago I was sitting with my host mom watching TV when she jumped up and ran to her room because we heard a noise. Once she got to her room she yelled with joy. I was confused so I went to see what was going on and I found a trap with a RAT in it. She was having problems with 'ratas' eating at her mattress so she had bought a mini-trap to catch the rats in. The trap is like the kind we use to catch-and-release raccoons. Anyway, she took the trap with the rat in it and put it in a gunnysack and tied it shut. She then opened the trap through the sack so the rat was running around inside the sack trying to get out. She then took a broken broomstick and began to beat the rat to death. In the meantime, I grabbed a huge rock about half the size of my head so I could throw it on the rat...but she wouldn't let me. When she finished beating the rat with the stick, she opened up the sack and dumped the rat on the ground. Well, the rat started to move and she gave the okay for me to drop the rock on the rat. Needless to say, the rat is dead. About an hour after that rat slaying we heard another rat. I assumed we would take care of it the same way...oh boy was I wrong. She sat the rat on the ground, boiled water and then scolded the rat to death. I chose not to watch this but I could hear the rat screaming as it died. That probably wasn't the most humane way to kill an animal but I did learn there is more than one way to kill a rat.

There you go, Scott. I hope you enjoyed reading about my rat killing party. Love you and miss you!

I am thrilled to be in El Salvador! These first few weeks have been rather hectic, as will be the rest of training, but it has all been worthwhile. We started out as a group of 29 trainees but we are already down one. The one who decided to go home is a very talented and intelligent young woman. Even though she believes and felt that Peace Corps is a great experience and opportunity, she missed her family that much more. I respect her decision and cannot imagine how difficult it was for her to make. I wish her all the luck in the world and I hope we cross paths again in the future.

Currently we are in training which lasts a total of 10 weeks then we will go to our sites and live and work for two years. We have some sort of training activity six days a week, which means that Sundays are our only days off. We do a combination of Spanish and technical trainings, as well as field trips to current volunteer sites to learn what they have done in their sites and are currently working on. I do have to say that the field trips really show us what we can potentially do as volunteers. For me, they always make me reevaluate what my personal interests are as well as what I think is realistic. I also enjoy the Spanish classes because they are a great review and I get to learn the Salvadoran slang and culture in a way that sticks.

While I am in training, I live in a small community, Santa Clara which is outside of San Viciente. (I am not comfortable disclosing my address or phone number on a public blog...so if you would like to have this information send me an email and I would be happy to give it to you). I live with a widow, Lucia, whom I am quite fond of. She has five kids and four of them live in the US. We are both fairly reserved so it took us sometime to warm up to each other but now I find myself rushing home from the training center so I can spend more time with her. We have some amazing dinner conversations so I try to take advantage of that time to practice Spanish and to learn. For those of you in the States who know me very well, yes, I said I am reserved. I have found myself taking a step back from my normal behavior and observing more. For me, that is how I learn best here. Don´t worry though, I am not shy by any means.

Last week a small group of us were selected to skip Spanish classes so we could go to another department (state) to translate for a team of Air Force Reserve doctors that came from Colorado to work in a free clinic. The clinic was temporary and in a school but it was still amazing to see. It was quite the experience. It was amazing to see so many people working together to spread goodwill. Being thrown into a translation situation was probably the best experience I have had yet. It was beneficial because I HAD to think outside of the box to explain certain things to people and it made me dig deep for the Spanish I know (but don't use) because there was no one else there at that moment to communicate to the people. I was surprised to see that I know more Spanish than I give myself credit for. The most difficult thing I encountered was having to translate to a woman that she was going to die soon from enfasema(spelling?). The sad thing is that the woman does not smoke but she cooks with wood and that is how she got it. I cannot get over how calm she was about the situation.

I need to get back to the training center but I will write more when I get the time. In the mean time send me emails and ask a million questions! Miss you all!

I just wanted to write a quick note to say that I have arrived in El Salvador and I am doing well. This first week has been packed with activities and excitement and I am getting to know my host community and family. The Peace Corps did not lie when they said that trainees do not have much free time to themselves...right now I need to go back to the training center. I will write more when I have time. Hopefully it will be sooner than later. Bye for now!

This is part of the group from the first time I went to El Salvador in Jan. '06.

These are children we met at a school in a canton near Berlin. These children did not have school that day but they showed up because we were coming.

These are some of the ladies from my first El Salvador trip.

Where are you going?

I will be going to El Salvador. For the training period I will be near San Vicente. For the actual 2 years of service I will not know until the end of my training in August.

How long will you be gone?

I leave June 3rd for Washington DC to complete an orientation and then I will leave for El Salvador the morning of the 5th. I will be gone for just over 2 years. I have 10 weeks of in-country training to complete before starting the 2 years of service. I should be back in the States in mid-August of 2009.

What will you be doing?I am what they call a Municipal Development Volunteer (MDV). I will be working out of the mayor's office wherever I am placed and whatever activities I become engaged in is supposed to help with "democracy strengthening." I will be working with the local governments to promote citizen participation and provide better services to constituents. What I end up doing is based on my own interests and what the community needs/wants. All volunteers are encouraged to take on secondary projects so I am hoping to do something with youth or raise awareness about domestic violence...we'll see what develops.

Can you come back to visit?Technically, yes. Financially, no. I am allowed to take vacation time except during training, the first 3 months of service and the last 3 months of service. However, I do not have the funds to travel back and forth so I am trying to encourage friends and family to visit me. Plus, I want to use my time off to travel around Central America...especially to Guatemala to visit friends there.

Why the Peace Corps?

Why not? I want to go to grad school but did not want to continue my education right away. I felt that I needed a break and some practical experience to push me back to school after a couple years. I have traveled to Central America before and fell in love with the strength of the people and I have a strong desire to return. Plus, I want to work with Latino communities and knowing how to speak Spanish is key. I saw the Peace Corps as a way to help me in my journey of becoming bilingual and also push me to my limits to see how far I can go. The Peace Corps will help me develop new skills and help me better understand what others experience in their lives. I see the Peace Corps experience really helping to open my eyes not only to the injustices in the world but the role I need to take in the struggle to eliminate them.

What do you get paid?

Nothing. Like all volunteers, I will be unpaid. However, I will receive a monthly living allowance while overseas to take care of my basic necessities and when I return I will receive a stipend to use as I wish.

What's it like in El Salvador?

Having been there before I can say with complete honesty that it is beautiful. El Salvador is about the size of Massachusetts. It is a tropical climate with temperatures ranging from 60-100 degrees. However, I think the norm is mid-70's to 80's. There is a rainy and a dry season. (Since I have been asked about this, El Salvador is 2 countries south of Mexico on the Pacific coast).

How many people will you go with?

If I remember correctly there are about 25 of us in the group that will be going down. While I am there, there will be about 140 volunteers in the country. I may be alone in my site but I will never be too far from another volunteer.

What does your family think?

To be honest, I haven't really asked. I just told them this is what I am doing. My brothers think it's great but one won't admit he's scared for me. I do know they are all excited for me and proud. When I was having problems getting my medical clearance my mom tried to talk me out of it because I was spending so much money. I tried to explain to her the process but she wouldn't read anything I gave her and she changed the subject when I tried to talk to her about the Peace Corps. She told me she can't take me to the airport.

What do you think you'll miss the most?

My feather blanket and hot showers. And possibly running water and electricity.

What are your expectations?

Don't ask me that. I am trying not to think about expectations because I feel that I would try to fulfill them and miss out on some other great experiences. Plus, thinking about that makes me anxious. I'm already anxious enough...let's not fuel the fire.

Is it dangerous there?

Is it dangerous in the U.S.? You have to be careful wherever you go. The same goes for El Salvador. I will determine how dangerous it is for me by my actions and behavior...needless to say I want to be safe so I will be careful. The thing I want people to realize is that when something pops up on the news about El Salvador it is not the norm and the news over does everything. If in doubt send me a message when I'm there and just ask if I am okay. It may take awhile to get a response but I will respond.

Will you have the Internet?

I still don't know. It really depends where I end up getting placed. I do plan on making sure I get to a computer once a month. It is a small country so I do not see that being a problem. If you do not hear from me for a while do not worry...I'm probably working and can't make it to a computer.

What will you do when you get back?I don't know. My life will change over the next 2 years so I do not want to act like I have it figured out. I will most likely figure out where I want to go to grad school, apply, move, get a job, visit friends throughout the States, dig a hole and crawl in it from reverse culture shock...I really don't know.

For those of you who might not know me, this is a blog about my experiences as a Peace Corps (PC) volunteer in El Salvador. I am still waiting to leave the States, but before I do I want to take a moment to write down my journey through the process of applying and getting to the point I am at now.

I began seriously considering applying for the PC in the fall of 2005. I wasn't too sure that the PC was a logical step in my life until I visited El Salvador in January of 2006. That was my second trip out of the country but it was the first time I saw extreme poverty and devastation from war. After spending 10 days visiting with war survivors and seeing what the civil war had done to El Salvador and its people, I realized that the PC was a necessary step in my life. It was necessary so I could build solidarity with the poor and oppressed peoples of the world. I saw the disparities between poverty in the U.S. and El Salvador and I knew that I had to contribute someway...somehow. Never in a million years did I imagine that the PC would take me back to this beautiful country with some of the kindest and most resilient people I have ever met.

To make a long story short I applied for the PC in October of 2006 after spending countless hours writing motivation statements, writing a resume and filling out the application itself. I soon had an interview, then a follow-up phone interview and a nomination to do community/municipal development work in Central or South America. I accepted. This is the part that stressed me out the most and made me want to drop out. Before I go any further I want to explain the steps to becoming a volunteer. This is a 6 to 9 month process! First you're an applicant, then a nominee, an invitee, a trainee and finally a volunteer. I am currently an invitee. After a person is nominated they have to receive a medical and a dental clearance. I knew I had a lot of dental work to get done but I was very optimistic about the medical clearance because I am a healthy person.

FYI: The following may be uncomfortable...especially for men. I began the process to get my medical clearance and it proved to be more costly and stressful than I had imagined. (I quit counting how much I spent at $1000 and I can assure you it was way more than that.) When I began the required exams I found out that women must have their "yearly exam" within the past 6 months. Well, mine was 7 months old so it was unacceptable and I had to have another one that was current...within the last 6 months. This was difficult for me because the place where I go cannot do more than one exam on a woman in a year or they can loose funding. I had to find a new doctor and pay for the exam myself because my insurance would not pay for more than one exam in a year. I managed to take care of that but I ran into more problems after submitting all of the forms the PC requested. One problem was an error made by the clinic that did my blood tests. The clinic did the wrong test so I had to have my arm re-poked. However, the biggest obstacle was the PC itself.

A few years back I had a cyst detected (only 3 mm big) and the PC requested a current sonogram of it. When I was speaking with the PC nurse, she told me that the cyst had to be "resolved" whether that meant being biopsy or removed because the PC does not let any in who has a cyst. AHHH! I was devastated. I had already spent so much money that there would be no way I could afford to have it removed. It was a small cyst and does not cause any problems. I was seriously thinking about withdrawing from the process before I was broke and had to be cut open. However, with the support and encouragement of friends I went ahead and got the sonogram just to see how far I could make it. A friend assured me that together we could get the needed money if it had to be removed. I faxed the sonogram paperwork to the PC office on a Monday morning to see what the PC recommended I do...but instead, I received my medical clearance that very same afternoon. The cyst was deemed stable and I guess the nurse who told me that no one with a cyst could receive clearance was just on her high-horse. By Wednesday I received a call from the placement office.

That was one of the most stressful experiences I have been through. I encourage anyone thinking about applying to the PC to really examine what they are willing to go through.

Needless to say I have moved on in the process. I am scheduled to leave June 4th for Washington, D.C. for an orientation, then I head to El Salvador June 7th to begin my training as a Municipal Development Volunteer!

As I speak with friends and family they always ask me a million questions. My next post will be answering some of those questions, such as what will you be doing? how long will you be gone? can you come home? and more. If you have any questions, please throw them my way and I will answer them the best that I can. Also, I am going to try to post some photos from my Jan. '06 trip to El Salvador.