Note for the folks at home: Of all the societal problems decried by Kenyans, corruption is the most popular. The practice of "taking a little off the top", to Kenyans, is simultaneously the most abhorred of crimes as well as a recognizably common practice. It's normally taken for granted by regular citizens that those with the most power --- the politicians --- must be acquiring some wealth through unsavory means. The stain of corruption, however, isn't said to stop there. Regular news reports tell of policemen and policewomen taking bribes from drivers to overlook safety and license checks... indeed, the practice of paying "kitu kidogo" ("something small") to law authorities is common enough to be seen as an everyday occurrence. Asked about the state of corruption back in America, I reasoned that there must be a similar amount as Kenya, it's just hidden more effectively.

Note for the folks at home: The Samburu district, with its semi-arid environment, generally lives up to its "desert" reputation... except during the (sudden, unexpected) rainy seasons. I suppose "unexpected" isn't fair, as it happens every year, but the rainy seasons (a long one from April-August, another short one from October-November) will undoubtedly surprise the newcomer who's accustomed himself to the hot, dry, dusty days of the dry season. Otherwise clear, glaring skies become battlegrounds for armies of raging thunderheads; the scorched, grey sand gives way to treacherous mud swamps; the normally painful direct sunshine is replaced by an equally painful barrage of ice-cold raindrops the size of grapes. Oh, and plants grow and stuff.

Note for the folks at home: Pastoralism is a common practice (and profession) across rural Kenya. Cattle ("ng'ombe"), sheep ("kondoo"), and goats ("mbuzi") are common throughout the country, with camels ("ngamia") being an additional choice of livestock in the more arid regions. Herded animals are raised for their milk and meat, but it should be noted that they are also an indicator of a person's social standing. "A truly rich man," I've been told, "drives a train of goats one hundred metres long." This norm, however, has its drawbacks: herders are often loath to slaughter any of their precious beasts, considering the food source not worth the loss in socioeconomic appearance.Note for the folks who have seen me draw a camel before: I'm gettin' better, eh? At least this one doesn't look like a llama.

(Long-time readers may remember this is not the first time my actions have been deemed rude.) Note for the folks at home: There may not be a national beverage of Kenya, but if there is, it is, beyond any doubt, tea. Tea in Kenya, universally called "chai", has an importance that is hard to put into words. Daily tea breaks are standard: absence of a cup of hot chai around 11 AM (and another at 4 PM, in most cases) would be a breach of basic human rights. Furthermore, Kenyan chai is a specific beverage (that might not be an American's first thought of "tea"): tea leaves steeped in hot milk (or milk that has been BARELY diluted with water,) and then combined with at least three tablespoons of sugar. The result would be called, by Starbucks standards, a "chai tea latte with extra sugar", or by David Burns standards, an "instant headache".Note for my Kenyan readers: Just kidding. Chai is delicious and perfect in every way.

Note for the folks at home: I really like birds of prey, and there are all kinds of incredible specimens in Kenya. The most common, the Tawny Eagle, is a majestic light brown eagle that is often visible drifting effortlessly above the hills of Maralal, surveying the land below like the proud monarch of a raptor that it is. Other interesting carnivorous avians of the region include the Secretary Bird, which struts across the plains with predatory swagger, and the Hooded Vulture, a haggard-looking villain with an icy, unblinking stare.

Note for the folks at home: Kiswahili (usually called "Swahili" outside of East Africa) pervaded Kenya to the point of becoming the national language through its use as a trade language. Traders from the coast historically traveled inland, bringing their coastal language with them; "Swahili", in fact, means "coast-dwellers". Over time, Kiswahili became the common tongue to communicate between different African ethnic groups. Kiswahili is a melting-pot of a language: based on Bantu (a traditional African language root) and Arabic roots, Kiswahili has identifiably Portuguese, German, and English elements (among a slew of borrowed words from a huge number of other languages). As a very syllabic language, Kiswahili can be fun to read and speak. For instance: "kuna kuku marufuku huku" ("KOO-nah KOO-koo mah-roo-FOO-koo HOO-koo") means "there is a chicken prohibition hereabouts".

Note for the folks at home: The outfits in today's comic point out a noticeable phenomenon among Kenyan locals: heavy coats. Coming from central Illinois, USA, I was astounded upon arriving in Kenya to see anything heavier than a cotton button-down being worn: not surprisingly, equatorial Africa is HOT. At higher elevations, mornings can be cool, but it would be hard to find a populous town anywhere in Kenya where the temperatures don't regularly pass 80 degrees Fahrenheit. I shouldn't, of course, have been surprised; the people who have lived here since who-knows-when would have to adapt to the local temperatures, and so "winter jacket" weather to a Kenyan is often "I'm thinking about taking off the t-shirt, too, and just going bare" weather to an American. This can cause problems when a foreigner shares a vehicle with Kenyans: the choice is either keep the windows closed, effectively baking me into a delicious pot roast, or open a window, immediately giving all the Kenyans pneumonia and frost bite.

Note for the folks at home: For the first time, I had a surplus of astounding (from an American viewpoint) Kenyan cultural facts for this comic. I literally couldn't fit it all into the space available. So: the wives of night runners are fully aware of what their husbands are doing. The wives, to protect their husbands during the event, must stay at home with one foot touching a cooking stone (where pots are placed during cooking). Failure to do this could (and generally would) result in the runner's injury or death. Night running is neither shameful nor proud --- it's just something that happens, like rain, or a sneeze. A night runner is not dangerous, but might hide in your front yard for a while waiting for you to move in sight of a window, to frighten you.

Note for the folks at home: Kenya's polite culture frowns upon discussing "unsavory" topics openly, so a number of creative euphemisms have become popular. Generally, any reference to heat or fire is alluding to feelings of lust --- "that type of burning", "the inner fire", "the body's hotness". Going to the restroom to take a 'number one' or a 'number two' are called a "short call" or "long call", respectively. (Replacing one euphemism with another! Score!) Talking flagrantly about alcohol is equally taboo. Instead, you might hear about someone's desire to take "a soda", or "one of them", or "solution T" (named for the country's most popular lager, Tusker).

Note for the folks at home: The Kenyan educational system is fairly similar to that of many other countries. The system, called "8-4-4", combines eight years of primary school (U.S. "elementary" and "middle school"), four years of secondary school (U.S. "high school"), and four (or more) years of university. In the secondary school level, most of the courses are similar to those taken by U.S. students: Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, English, Geography, Computer Studies, and History. Kenya also has a few unique subjects: Kiswahili, Agriculture, Business Studies, and C.R.E.: "Christian Religious Education". C.R.E. is a nationally examined subject, giving evidence that "separation of church and state" isn't a huge priority in the Kenyan educational system.

Note for the folks at home: as it's been explained to me, the custom of spitting into another's palm to give one's blessing is born out of the fact that, in the semi-arid Samburu region of Kenya, water is a very valuable resource. Sharing one's bodily water (through saliva) is a means of demonstrating the spittee's worth in the eyes of the spitter. Further: the proper way to receive this gesture is to wipe the donated saliva into one's hair. Luckily, a foreigner isn't held to cultural norms as rigorously as a local, so I haven't yet been forced into applying bodily-fluid-shampoo.

Note for the folks at home: a great deal of tribes throughout Kenya are historically pastoralists, living nomadically and raising herds of cow, goats, or sheep. While this practice isn't possible in the big cities, rural areas still see a lot of free-range livestock traffic. It's not rare to see a cow walking down a rural town road, eating garbage, dodging the occasional passerby on motorbike, or a family of goats hanging out on a school compound, the bravest ones coming right up to the classrooms to scream (the way goats do) into the open doors. Furthermore: chickens. Chickens everywhere.

Note for the folks at home: The political situation in Kenya is consistently a heated topic of debate among Kenyans. Since becoming and independent republic in 1964, Kenya has endured a grand total of zero political movements that lacked widespread argument. First, Jomo Kenyatta led a single-party system and in 1978 was succeeded by his Vice President, Daniel arap Moi. Along with (from what I can tell) every other leader to ever hold power in Kenya, Moi was accused of unjust tribal favoritism ("tribalism") throughout his career as President. Eventually, Kenya developed a constitution that banned Moi from serving indefinitely, and Moi was no longer eligible in the 2002 elections. Next came Mwai Kibaki, who, as current President, is close to the end of his two-term, ten-year service. In 2007, during the election that resulted in Kibaki's second term, allegations of corruption in the voting mechanism led to the 2007 post-election violence. Over 1000 people all over Kenya died in riots and violent unrest. Since then, Kenya's effort to put to justice those responsible for the violence has just recently started to show results: four prominent Kenyan political figures have been sent to the International Criminal Court in The Hague to decide their fates. Also, this is an election year for Kenya, and since Kibaki can't be re-elected, you can imagine how it's all anyone can talk about. Kind of reminds me of another election-year-country...

tl;dr: Kenyans like to talk about politics.

Note for the folks at home: Many native Kenyans have a skewed view of what all white people ("wazungu") are like, and it's no surprise. For a great deal of people living in rural Kenya, the only white people available for study are those on television and any tourists that might pass through. TV Wazungu, and you can check to see this for yourself, are by and large rich music/movie stars, politicians, or contestants on Extreme Couponing (is that a real show?! ... I've been in Kenya a while). Similarly, Tourist Wazungu are rich enough to holiday in Kenya, and entirely unaccustomed to the heat, stress, amount of walking, etc. of African life --- hence the "baby" stereotype.And no, I wasn't pulling off the mustache.Note for the folks in Kenya: drawing the "rich man" version of myself reminds me of a Monopoly Man story...

Note for the folks at home: Greetings in Kenya are an important social mechanism. Copious "how are you?" questions are necessary: "How is your day?" "How are your children?" "What type of day are you having?" "How is work?" "Which news do you have?" "Are you well?" Fortunately, all of these questions can and must be answered with some version of: "Fine." What might be considered Small Talk in America is a large portion of all communication in Kenya. Additionally, handshakes are required. Because hugs are almost completely absent, handshakes, as the only form of person-to-person physical contact available to Kenyans, have the potential to be long, drawn-out affairs, more akin to prolonged hand-holding in the eyes of a foreigner.

Note for the folks at home: While beef, pork, and chicken exist all over Kenya, the most popular meat among Kenyans is goat. Goat is consumed boiled, fried, or, most commonly, roasted over an open fire ("choma"). Every part of the goat that isn't unavoidably poisonous is consumed joyously: the meat is pulled out of every conceivable nook (including hidden within the hooves), the kidneys, liver, "stomachs" (intestines), and testicles aren't safe from hungry humans, and even the severed head is steeped in boiling water to form "soup". Admittedly, goat meat is rather tasty --- a softer, slightly more pungent meat than beef, with a distinct aftertaste. Maybe a little like what a cow/pig hybrid would taste like.

Note for the folks at home: Football (also known as "soccer" or "that kicking game") is, without doubt, the most popular sport in Kenya. Other sports exist; like rugby, volleyball, badminton, handball, netball, and basketball; but they are generally considered warm-up acts to The Game Of Games. Kenya boasts its own national football league, the Kenyan Premier League, which currently hosts sixteen teams from all over the nation (although, admittedly, most are based in the capital city, Nairobi). Despite this, few Kenyans follow the Kenyan Premier League, opting instead for English Premier League games. Many English clubs have a strong following in Kenya, including Manchester United, Chelsea, and Arsenal. To a Kenyan, American football seems like an outrageous and comical sport, if they have heard of it at all.

Note for the folks at home: Thorny cacti are the dominant life form of Maralal, in the semi-arid Samburu district of Kenya. Humans seem to be an afterthought, sprinkled in and around the bustling cactus metropolises. Growing thorns, in fact, seems to be the common adaptation among all the local plant life. Even the most innocent-looking baby bushes are riddled with sharp prongs just waiting to get lodged in the body of an unaware passer-by. The phrase "every rose has its thorn" holds little significance to a local, who would be surprised to find any flower without barbs.

Note for the folks at home: I am 100% certain this is not what really happened to my imaginative storyteller of a student. He was not shot to death with an AK-47. His story is neither an accurate representation of people of the Somali ethnic group nor a truthful generalization of females in general. Furthermore, the full-length buibui attire is worn by a small subsection of the Muslim subsection of the Somali population, not all Somali females. THAT BEING SAID, my student's tall tale illustrates the fact that tribal differences are still recognized among modern Kenyans. Despite over 40 distinct ethnic "tribes" existing simultaneously across Kenya, tribal stereotypes are still very common. One tribe may be called lazy, another greedy, and another womanizing; most surprising of all, these stereotypes are even propagated inside a Kenyan's OWN tribe.
And for the record, the Kenyan stereotype for whites is that they are rich, wholly unable to do any degree of physical labor, and will reward children with candy for screaming, "HAWAYU?!"

Note for the folks at home: English, the third (or fourth) language of many Kenyans, has evolved in the country into something truly unique. Kenyan English is as distinct, it seems, as American English ("y'all want some grits?") or British English ("rip pop the pippins, slaggar, my dumples have rimpendimpled."). In addition to mild alterations of common English phrases ("How do you love it?", "How do you advice my new shirt?"), Kenyan English has a few confusing elements of its very own, including: ending any sentence with "...isn't it?", gratuitous addition of the words "just" and "even" ("Even you, you will just assist me with a pencil."), and, most puzzling, the replacement of the word "What?" with "Yes."

Note for the folks at home: while there are many airstrips throughout the country, the three major airports of Kenya are in its three largest cities: Nairobi, Mombasa, and Kisumu. A one-way ticket from Nairobi to New York City currently costs about $1800, or 150,000 Kenyan shillings, with a layover somewhere in Europe.

Happy New Year! When you get tired of saying "twenty-twelve" and "two-thousand-twelve", try "two-zero-one-two"! And if you get sick of that, why not go with "ought-twelve"?

Note for the folks at home: The Black Rhinoceros and White Rhinoceros, both inhabitants of East Africa, are not named for their colors. As I've been told, (this has not been Wikipedia Verified,) The Black Rhinoceros was named after the area in which it was first discovered, whereas the White Rhinoceros was so named because the non-English name for the beast sounded like "white". And here I was thinking we had strict rules for naming animals.

Note for the folks at home: Kisamburu is the native "mother tongue" of the Samburu people, indigenous residents of the area. The language, which has been around for hundreds of years (at least,) is still the primary language of a large population of people, so certain changes have had to be made to respond to modernization. In many cases, when a new concept needs to be addressed in Kisamburu, the English word for it is just fit in seamlessly. To a Kisamburu/English speaker, this seems natural, but to someone who can only recognize the English words, the effect can be amusing. (See Above.)

Note for the folks at home: the education system of Kenya is a little different from that of America. (Apparently, the Kenyan system is based on the English system.) Some things are similar: eight 'primary' years are followed by four 'secondary' years, which can then be supplemented with four (or more) 'university' years. However, academic achievement in Kenya is measured in a much more sudden (and ruthless) manner: one single exam at the end of your four years of secondary school determines your fate. Akin to the SAT (or ACT), this end-of-high-school-exam is, understandably, all students care to learn about.

Note for the folks at home: it's difficult for a foreigner to get used to seeing zebras, giraffe, elephants, etc. on a daily basis without reverting to Mindless Tourist Mode. In many areas of Kenya, zebras are common enough to be labeled "pests". As far as I can tell, a zebra to a local Kenyan is like a squirrel to an American.

Note for the folks at home: the indigenous people living in/around Maralal are the Samburu tribe, who are noted for being one of Kenya's most "resilient" tribes in the face of widespread modernization. Despite Maralal having electricity, television, and the internet, the Samburu tribe continues to live according to many of the traditions passed down generation after generation. Inevitably, modern conveniences can't be ignored, which has a great number of complex consequences, among them uncontrolled littering and pollution, rampant alcoholism, and very old Samburu men giving me advice on which mobile phone plan to use.

Note for the folks at home: the magic of the internet has begun its slow march across rural Kenya. This has been made possible by a number of technological revolutions in the recent past. First, electricity (usually sourced by hydroelectric or geothermal plants) has become more common in the 'bigger' towns throughout rural Kenya. Next, with available electricity, computers (usually fairly ancient Windows machines) are finding their ways into schools and businesses. Finally, portable pay-as-you-go "key drive" modems (using the existing mobile phone networks --- also becoming very common) bring the web right into the hands of the very confused rural users. Next challenge: explaining "lolcats".

Note for the folks at home: As all of my knowledge on traditional bull fighting is second-hand (at best), I can't guarantee the accuracy of any of this additional information: bull fighting is a tradition of the Luhya tribe, which originated around the Kakamega region in western Kenya. The fight is not to the death; a winner is decided long before one of the bulls dies. The bulls are, according to all of the sources I can find, given controlled substances, but my colleague (pictured above) is the only source attesting that this substance is Marijuana, and not some form of traditional alcoholic brew.And a note for mom: please ignore the image of two high bulls above.

Note for the folks at home: while American slang is nearly nonexistent in Kenya, it's impossible to overlook the existence of "Sheng". Sheng is, nominally, a colloquial mixture of English and Kiswahili most popular, not surprisingly, with the youth of Kenya. In practice, it seems to be something much more complex and sinister. So far, I've documented reversed syllables ("kuja hapa", 'come here', becoming "jaku paha"), flagrantly extended ending vowels ("ugali", a popular Kenyan food, becoming "ugalaio"), and the total deconstruction of English to what I can only term 'AIM Speak' ("hi iz u cmn 2 da prti?") as 'legitimate' examples of Sheng.

Note for the folks at home: Kisamburu is the local "mother tongue" of Maralal, the native language spoken by the indigenous people of the region: the Samburu tribe. "Supa" is the standard greeting, to which the response, "oyie", should be given in a slightly rising inflection... something I've yet to master to the point where it doesn't cause my listeners to laugh/cringe. Other Kisamburu phrases: "supa deyi", "serian" (both greetings), and "kara lmalimoi" ("I am a teacher"). The lone syllable "eh" is a tremendously common part of speech. It seems to have a great deal of conflicting meanings, to the point where one can't help but think it was invented with the sole purpose of confusing foreigners.

Note for the folks at home: gigantic anthills and gigantic piles of elephant droppings are pretty common sights (and obstacles while walking) in the Samburu area of northern Kenya. Other local wildlife includes zebra, gazelle, cape buffalo, hartbeest, eland, and rhinos. The area is also reportedly home to lions, hyena, and leopards, but I have yet to see any (or touch their excrement with my bare hands.)

Note for the folks at home: Kiswahili (the language of the Swahili culture - usually simplified to "Swahili" outside east Africa) is the national language of Kenya, making it the most popular common language among individuals of different tribes. There are about forty different tribes in Kenya, each having (at least) one "mother tongue" of its own --- usually dramatically distinct from Kiswahili. Add to this the fact that English is gaining ground country-wide, primarily in big cities, and you're left with the linguistic maelstrom that is modern Kenya. Moreover, visitors should expect even the youngest child growing up in Kenya to know two or three more languages than themselves.

Note for the folks at home: "Rude", it turns out, is a relative term on a global scale. Things to do in Kenya: pick nose, cut forward in lines, chew with mouth gaping, spit freely, urinate in semi-public situations. Things to avoid doing in Kenya: scratch beard, greet someone with something as short as "hello", leave the house with dirty shoes, decline an offer of tea, use the imperative verb tense ("come!") instead of the subjunctive ("would you come").

Note for the folks at home: while a white person ("mzungu") isn't a rare sight in big cities like Nairobi or Mombasa, there are still places in Kenya where an individual of European ancestry draws a bit more attention. In rural towns, it isn't surprising to find a train of local children chasing a caucasian, chanting what they believe to be the standard white person greeting: "HAWAYU?"And yes, that is how short ties are commonly tied. No idea why.

Note for the folks at home: Chinese construction companies are surprisingly commonplace across Kenya at present. The Kenyan government has contracted a great deal of construction work - mostly road building - to Chinese companies, which tend to employ local labor. From what I've seen, locals are divided on the issue: some argue that the development of Kenya should be done exclusively by Kenyan companies, while others insist that having the more experienced Chinese companies set a "base" first will reduce the chance of failure in the future.

Note for the folks at home: Despite living in a country that produces about 50,000 tons of coffee per year (yep, wikipedia'ed it), Kenyans in general are much more interested in tea ("chai") to quell their warm-caffeinated-beverage cravings. Ordering "coffee" in a restaurant will usually result in a packet of instant coffee and a mug of hot water. And a note for mom: please ignore usage of the word "orgy" above.

Note for the folks at home:Motorcycles ("piki-piki" - reportedly an onomatopoeia) are an extremely common sight throughout Kenya. Piki-piki uses range from pedestrian taxi service to long-distance goods transport. And, yes, livestock transportation is not unheard of.