A seemingly easy trip to Guatemala turns out to make headlines! First we traveled right outside of Antigua to hike a volcano called Pacaya. It was a difficult hike, for me at least, but well worth it. We rounded a bend and there it was, a huge black mountain dripping with firey red lava. I had never seen anything like it. Apparently the group that had come through in the morning hadn´t seen very much lava (unbeknownst to us at the time, obvious foreshadowing for what was to come). Some people brought sticks and marshmallows, although couldn´t get close enough to toast them. The site was mezmorizing, much like a campfire, but at such a different natural level. Here we are 2500 meters high on a volcano, looking out at several other volcano peaks enraptured by the steady oozing flow of hot lava. By far this has been one of my favorite experiences of the last 2 years.

The day after I was there, literally 24 hours later, Pacaya erupted. We were at Lake Atitlan when we heard the news (a few hours from Antigua) and I had ventured out early before breakfast to grab a coffee and watch the quaint lake town come alive. On my way back a boy was selling newspapers and without even looking at the headline I bought one, figuring it would be nice to peruse while eating before heading out for our boat tour. Tucked under my arm, coffee in hand I walked into the hotel to meet my friends when she grabbed the paper and exclaimed "Pacaya erupted?!" Apparently a reporter was killed, and possibly several others. The small village nearby was evacuated. We carried on with our tour of the lake, but not without expressing our relief that we were not on or near the volcano when it erupted.

Lake Atitlan is nestled in a small port town called Panajachel. The road heading into town was a windy mountainside ride filled with a beautiful view of the lake and waterfalls cascading down the hills. It was intoxicating. All the while a tropical storm Agatha was slowly making her presence known with her drizzly fog laden welcoming. We made it into town just long enough to drop our bags and take the next chicken bus out of town to a local market in a town called Chichicanstenango, which is said to be one of the biggest and best in the country. It did not disappoint. Set at the foot of the steps of a large church the spread was overwhelming. Jewelry, macadamia nuts, tapestries and so much more all for "very good price" as the local merchants advised us with the English catchphrases they had memorized for the tourists. The colorful aroma of freshcut flowers surrounded us while we explored the grounds for several hours.

As we made our way out of Panajachel, Agatha was letting us know she was there, and she meant business. We were one of the last cars allowed to drive that road because the amounts of water indundating the path, mudslides and falling rocks. We made it to Antigua, in double the time it would normally take, and were there to stay for the next few days to wait out the storm. Unfortunately this chopped off the end of my planned vacation up to the north of the country to visit Tikal, but mother nature had a different plan which included good friends, lots of movies and some salsa lessons!

Remember when you were 15 or so and someone talked about someone who was 30 and images of weathering, wrinkly skin flashed into your mind, along with the faint, pundgent smell of moth balls, merely at the mention of such a cryptic human being? Can you believe, I have morphed into one of these "old" people, yet no adult diapers or false teeth, it's amazing!! To celebrate my non-oldness, I taught English, because that's what I do on Saturdays, but with a twist. Susan, Scott, Jim and Ginnie, the missionaries that live where I teach English classes were so sweet and bought a pinata and made a ton of yummy cupcakes for the younger students in the morning. It was filled with all kinds of goodies- candy, money and deoderant!? I took a couple of swats at it, but nobody can really do in like los ninos latinos! Post-burst the normal scramble ensued, after which several of the kids gave me handfuls of their goods at the realization that I hadn't partaken in the scrapping for candy. I won't remember the flavor of the candy, frankly, I may not always remember the names of the kids who gave it to me, but what I will remember is the Honduran children trying to give me some of what they had because I had none. Later, my afternoon class, which consists mostly of adults had an exam. I know, what a big ol meany of a teacher having an exam on a day which was clearly destined for a party. Being the good sports they all are, they appeased me and negociated to take half of it home as a take-home portion so that we could celebrate. They brought a cake (into which my friend Iris tried to smash my face according to tradition), sang Happy Birthday in English and Spanish and took me out for a beer later. Yes my friends, entering the harbor of 30 somethingland was smooth sailing.

Before I became a Peace Corps volunteer I worked for a non-profit organization called RSVP of Greater Cleveland n.k.a. Greater Cleveland Volunteers. This name change and the generousity of the Executive Director were the inspiration for a community clean-up day which we recently held. You see, the organization had all of these T-shirts with the old name and logo and where I live there tends to be an overabundance of people lacking good clothes. When the packages arrived with the brightly colored shirts I knew I wanted to give them away, but not just randomly. Honduras, and other developing countries I suspect, have a real problem with garbage. For most there is no magic fairy called the garbage truck that swoops onto the tree lawn at night to wisk away remains or, more importantly, the recycleables. For this reason people get very creative with the disposal of their garbage. The public green space and local river happen to be favorite deposit spots in my town. I pulled together lots of people to help; the local high school, my English classes, the volunteer firefighters, Standard Fruit Company (Dole) and a church group from Canada. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We hauled away about 1,500 pounds of garbage, and that was only the tip of the iceberg. As a reward I handed out the RSVP T-shirts as well as reusable grocery bags donated by folks in Haliburton, Canada to all who participated. The local news interviewed me and asked me why we were doing this because tomorrow people are going to continue throwing garbage where we had just picked it up. With nothing clever to say, I simply said this, "If they see people that don't even live in this country care so much about it, maybe they will feel embarassed the next time they go to do it again, but if not, we will continue caring in the hopes that maybe one day it will resonate."

So who knew that when I signed up for this gig that I would be right off the coast of the Caribbean, which contains a small family of islands called the Bay Islands. Having visited Utila last May, I still had Roatan to check out. Of the these two islands (there is a 3rd one called Guanaja and is more remote) Roatan is a more touristy spot, especially during the time I chose to go, Easter Week. This is the view I saw most of during the week. It really was quite beautiful and hosted less foreigners than I had imagined. The cabin we rented was off the beach just enough to make it super quiet there, while activity was still happening on the main strip. My vacations often consist of the following: laying on the beach, sleeping, eating, dancing and drinking adult beverages. This vacation was no exception to those guidelines.

After all the great stuff going down in my life over the past month, you wouldn't think it could get any better, and then, my best friend comes to visit and trumps every bit of it! My very best friend Nicole and her amazing husband Sanjay told me they wanted to visit and wanted a feel true feel for what it's like to live my life as a Peace Corps volunteer. I try so hard through this blog, through letters and phone calls to accurately describe my life here but it is incredibly hard to bring to life the sights, smells and feelings that go along with that, so you can imagine my delight at the prospect of truly showing my dear friends what my life has become. When they first told me they would only be here 5 days, 1 and half of which were travel I was sure we couldn't accomplish as much as we wanted to between visiting the orphanage (one of their few requests), buying food to distribute and showing them my projects and my everyday activities. Somehow the days grew longer and allowed us to do it all. They had raised quite a bit of money stateside to bring down for the purpose of buying food for those who need it most. You may remember several entries from my blog about Grandma's Kids. To say they need it is a true understatement! With the money contributed we were able to pass out rice, beans, eggs, flour, powdered milk, juice, cereal, plantains, chickens, cans of vegetables, parasite medicine and much more. My favorite memory of the trip was waking up the day after making a food delivery to Grandma's house and thinking about the full breakfast that was filling their tummies and that moment. In addition, they brought suitcases full of stuff to give away. Hats, sidewalk chalk, flashcards, candles, clothes, vitamins, jump ropes, workbooks and so much more. Lots of these items were given away at the 2 orphanages we visited. Thank you so much to all of those who contributed, prayed and had anything to do with Nicole and Sanjay's successfull trip to Honduras.

Once again, Dr. Bill Kerr´s Canadian dental team has come and gone, leaving a trail of clean healthy teeth and encouraged kids with toothbrushes in hand. The team did a wonderful job and actually saw some improvements from one year ago when they were here last. This year we really concentrated on including Hondurans more with this project so that they can continue assisting the team as they return every year. We trained the high school students to give lectures on dental hygiene and a bit on the environment to the grade schoolers while they were waiting to get their teeth cleaned. The local dentist was also very involved, learning new techniques from Dr. Bill and taking up some slack where she was able.

The sugary pop and candy continues to exist, no matter how much floride you give them. As you can see, the culture here as far as dental hygiene goes leaves much to be desired, leaving our Canadian friends with a tough battle. I commend them for tackling this issue with such gusto and I hope I can assist the team again in the future.

The coconut robbers have become my friends. I caught them one day and told them that I would be happy to share as long as they knocked on my gate and asked my like a civilized human being rather than jumping my fence. We make an event out of it now. They come, very politely, and ask if they can go into the back yard and eat, drink and be merry. I join them and they cut open as many coconuts for me to drink as I can handle. We all walk away with full bellies and as many coconuts as they can carry.

The library is done! We had the inauguration recently and lots of students attended as well as the core group if people who had their hand in the project (from left to right, Iris (Honduran community member who helps with Anne´s projects), Oscar Funez, high school teacher and small business owner, some crazy American girl looking to make a difference, the ex-mayor Rene Lozano, and the infamous Anne Fowler. Thanks to Ames, Iowa Rotary Club for making it happen. The kids are thrilled to have computers with internet, a projector and a ton of books.

At times it is necessary and therapeutic to literally put it down on a piece of paper. Journaling has never been my release because I find I am not honest enough with myself. What does work for me is telling the people that care for me about my successes, weaknesses, ideas and hopes; it forces me to be honest with them, and in turn with myself. I find myself at a place where I need to talk about what I have done, how I have succeeded, and at times failed, in order to pull myself through my remaining 8 months of service.

A million years ago I set out to a country in Central America called Honduras. Where is that I wondered? What will it be like? What will the people there be like and how will they receive me? Most importantly, what can I bring to the people to make their lives a little better, a little easier? Nearly 19 months later I am a little closer to answering those questions.

The first 3 months or so I observed, as I continue to do, but these first months were dedicated solely to soaking in my new surroundings. I walked to and from my place of work, the municipality, every day. Along the way I began to develop relationships with people; Letti, the lady who walks around town twice a week picking up plastic bottles to recycle, Oscar, the owner of the local grocery store, Eva, the 88 year old lady who loves talking to Gringos, Marvin, the 12 year old boy being raised by his grandparents and Aide, the entrepreneur who sells baleadas and fresh squeezed juice from a cart that she pushes around town. Being a relationship person, this task came very easily to me. In doing so I learned more about Honduras than any book could have ever taught me. Soon came a time when it was rare for me to walk down the street without hearing my name, a true feeling of belonging.

Those relationships allowed me to start my “real work” here, not to downplay my role as a community member, as cultural exchange is practically half of my job here. The project I was selected to partake in was Municipal Development, however, after sitting in the mayor’s office for 5 months observing and having very little luck with someone actually including me in any projects, I began to explore other options for work. Along with all of the locals whom with I had developed relationships, there are a handful of North Americans living here and doing various types of projects for the community. Scott and Susan are two of those people and they run a mission house which is equipped with a classroom. This is where my first, and longest standing project began, English classes. Many Peace Corps volunteers come into this with a strong aversion to this type of project, questioning its sustainability and real value for nationals. At this point, I wasn’t doing much of anything else, and it’s one of the requests my community had, so I dove in. I have been holding English class all day on Saturdays ever since, basic instruction in the morning and intermediate in the afternoons. Are my students getting anything out of it? Absolutely. Is that something the ability to communicate in English? For a handful, yes. As for the others, it is a safe, fun place to go every Saturday and hang out with their friends. I am at peace with this, but it took me a long time to be Ok with the fact that all of my students are not going to be fluent when my time comes to leave. If I have inspired one kid to continue and work hard, or one adult to pursue further classes, it’s valuable and worth my time, hands down. Not to mention the relationships I have built with my students, these days I cannot walk down the street without some kid yelling out, “Bye teacher”.

Aside from my partners at the mayor’s office, I was also assigned with work with Anne, a Canadian woman who spends half of the year in Toronto and half of the year here. The programs she has developed are mostly in the schools and for children. They are presentations regarding health issues, mostly dental care. We take four puppets and perform skits to teach kids about brushing, going to the dentist, how to eat a little better, washing hands, and throwing garbage where it belongs. Along with those skits we hand out toothbrushes, give them a fluoride treatment and check their vision. Last year after visiting about 5 schools I organized a bus to take all of the kids that had major vision problems to an eye clinic about 3 hours away to have them treated. Several of them received glasses and 2 kids received surgery they needed to correct a crossed eye. It’s like the story of the kid on the beach with a million starfish washed up on the shore and he is throwing them back, one by one. An old man stumbles upon him and asks, “Is that really going to make a difference, there are so many?” to which the boy picks up a starfish, throws it into the ocean and replies, “For that one it did.”

At this point I had still not given up on the municipality. I still went, and still go to this day, to see if there’s a fit for me there. A new project came to the municipality which involved a large sum of money coming in from the European Union for a project to protect the border of a river in town, as well as other environmental projects. Again, as before, I went to the municipality every day for 2 months, going to meetings, gaining knowledge on what the projects entailed. One part of the project being touted was to bring some type of garbage collection to my community, something I had been interested in from the start. Every day I was told, don’t worry, we are going to work on this, blah blah blah. A year later nothing has been done and I have been told by more than one person that the money has been “lost”. The fact of the matter is, most places in the states don’t really use volunteers efficiently, so in a developing country this inability is exponential. Between the mismanagement of government offices that is prominent in all municipalities in the country and my undefined role, working for the municipality as originally intended is not exactly working out. Though not all is lost; I have created relationships with the people there and have come to know the role they play in the community. It ends up I am a pretty good liason when it comes to showing community members where they can seek resources for myriad reasons.

Venturing outside of our intended roles is commonplace for Peace Corps volunteers. Rolling with the punches and going with the flow have become my way of life. Being content with affecting one person with the possibility of never even knowing that affect is reality for me; one that I still struggle with, but I’m getting better!.

Looking ahead while my optimism comes and goes, my plan is to continue with my English classes (we are on week 4 of the 3rd 12 week session!), working with Anne (we will be hosting a dental team for the second year who will clean about 300 kids’ teach and provide further care for those most in need) and open the library for the high school which we worked with a rotary club in Ames, Iowa to build. My newest interest is with a group of all volunteer firefighters who are in the process of building a fire station which will also serve as an ambulance service for the community. If anyone happens to know of an organization that might be willing to work with us on this project I would love to contact them. This is really the first project I have felt really encouraged about. Everyone in this group is a volunteer. They are building the station from the ground up on donations they seek. Once the building is established, they will continue to volunteer their time as firefighters and ambulance drivers. In addition, this is my favorite part, they are a group of community volunteers interested in educating the youth on health and environment issues. They have asked to be involved in any of my projects for which I need their help, regardless of my involvement with them. This is so encouraging to me, having volunteered most of my adult life. The concept just doesn’t exist here; it’s more of a “what do I get out of the deal?” attitude. Volunteers helping volunteers, I like the sound of that!

Here´s my intermediate English class. For most of my students this is their 3rd 12 week course! The cheeseball smiling and not taking her quiz like she´s supposed to be doing is Isabel, my best student and dear friend.

These beautiful ladies are all part of a women´s bible study I have been attending on and off since I got here. This was our Christmas luncheon where we had White Elephant gift exchange. I wish I would have gotten the granny panties with pockets!

A few weeks ago I helped another volunteer put on a seminar for kids on the environment. The kids had a ball, as you can see. The guys that helped are a group of volunteer firefighters that I have just stumbled upon and plan on working with them. Read further to find out more about them.

This is Josiah, aka Jojo. He is irrisistable. He is the son of one of Scott and Susans´workers. He was born in the mission house while I was visiting the states in August. Susan jokes that he has kicked my biological clock into overdrive, I don´t attempt to disagree. I kid with his mother that I am going to steal him, she laughs like I´m joking. Really, I am joking... she says with a devilish grin.

So for a couple of weeks now I have been lulled to sleep every night by the soft hum of honey bees. Rather soothing actually. It was, however, not so soothing when I woke up to 8 of the little buggers in my room and a screen full of them in my bathroom! 6 am or not, I needed to deal with this. A quick phone call to my landlord and a day later we were ready for battle. An English speaking neighbor, Susie, brought some kids over with a stack of newspaper and book of matches ready for business. We were gonna smoke em out! As we gathered kindling from around the yard I thought, oh man, this could go bad. Susie started the fire and the smoke went right up into the roof where the little guys had made a home. Immediately the collective hum of the intruders was fierce, they were being invaded and new it. They started fleeing, little by little. The next phase, Raid, aka, one of my best new found friends here in Honduras. I sprayed and lots more headed for the hills. Well that was that, right? Of course not silly. One of the boys climbed a ladder to the scene of the crime. He proceeded to break the ceramic roofing to get a better look. And there it was....

Now I am no beekeeper, obviously, but these suckers had to have been there for a while to be this far along on a hive. It was so beautiful and intricate, truly a work of art. So now what do we do? It´s not like I was with a professional, I mean this kid was just winging it. And I of course, hav no clue what to do because in my old life I had the Marks of the world to assist me with these types of home invasion issues. So he takes his machete and slices the cones one by one and dumps them into a cardboard box to be burned. Ok, I can live with that. As the day came to a close I was satisfied with our work, until I heard the faint familiar buzz again. I think it may have been even lounder than before. I barely slept imagining the revolt of angry bees swarming my head in the middle of the night. The next day we not only smoked them out, but literally we smoked me out of my house. They had three huge piles of dry leaves and things going and I have never seen more bees come out of a roof in my life. Ok, so I had never seen bees come out of a roof, but I was a ton! It´s going to take a mighty bottle of Frebreeze to regain some normal scent to my belongings. So I called Susie and told her that I had good news and I had bad news. The good news was, they bees are all gone, I am certain of it. And the bad news she asked? They have already renested in the neighbors tree! Oh well she said, not our problem anymore!

I have emerged from the coming home blues. All it took was another vacation of course! Let me explain. I already had to take the almost 9 hour bus ride into the capital city for midservice medical checkups, so I figured why not take advatange? First I stayed with my very first host family, Patty, Javier and Alejandra in Tegucigalpa. They just had a new baby, Javier. While I only stayed with them a short time, any time with them is held dear in my heart. Plus I had to drop off some gear to represent! Then, because riding in a bus for 9 hours in one day wasn`t quite enough, I hopped on another one the next day for another nearly 7 hour ride to Morolica, Choluteca to visit my friend Kristin. Now when I say ride, I mean dirt, winding, bumpy roads with the most amazing mountainous views I have every seen. Every corner you turn your breath is taken away again unexpectedly. What a rich country, so lush and natural with little golden nuggets like Morolica tucked away at the foothills. Morolica was severely damaged by Hurricane Mitch in 1998 and they have rebuilt the small town at a higher elevation just a few kilometers away from the old site. We did get to tour Old Morolica which was amazing to see because of stories I have heard about the devestation. The other great thing about visiting Kristin was experiencing her Peace Corps experience. Most people don`t realize how distinct our experiences are from each other. My house is very private, very enclosed on a street where hardly anyone passes by. Kristin had neighboors stopping by, bringing food, offering to take us places. Everyone that passed by the house greeted her. Also, she doesn`t always have water and the electricity goes out all of the time. These are things I don`t have to deal with, but she does with a smile on her face. Apparently there are two things I just can`t get enough of, busses and the beach. We hopped on a couple more busses for a couple more hours and arrived in the department of Valley, Honduras. Then we hopped on a boat and headed to the island of Amapala, which is right on the borders of Nicaragua and El Salvador. We rented a big house right on the beach and hung out, swam, played games, created music and cooked. It was so relaxing and such a boost to be with good friends.

Next it was back to Tegucigalpa for midservice medical checkups, which weren`t particularly fun, but what is fun is having our Municipal Development group all together in one place. Then it was back home where I found an old friend. Anne is back and ready to work my butt off, so I am super pumped about that. We have big plans for the school health program, the dental team and some other neat projects. We are meeting soon to plan the next six months.

As for the municipality I am still working on a project which is protecting the borders of a nearby river through reforestation and education. Part of that project is creating a garbage collection service for my town, a much needed service. We hope to start on that portion of the project soon. Of course my English classes are still going strong, well, at least stronger than any other work I have going on. Some Saturdays, like yesterday when only 3 of my 12 adults showed up, are disappointing, but at least I got to those 3! I brought back some "snow" from the states to show the kids in my morning class. It was just a package of some sort of crystals that you add water to and it puffs into real looking, real feeling snow. We did a whole chapter on weather and at the end that was a treat for them. You should have seen their faces. Never have they seen snow, weird for this Northeast Ohioan to imagine. The high school library that I am working on with Oscar 1.0 is coming together nicely. We just ordered a ton of books and reference guides. This was made possible by the Ames, Iowa Rotary Club.

Politically things are calm as candidates campaign for the upcoming election. The President who was removed by the military and Congress has not been put back into office as an agreement between himself and the newly appointed President was never reached. Schools have been closed more than a month early and, because of the disruptions with teachers striking, the government has decided that every child will pass on to the next grade regardless of their performance. My hope is that a new President will be elected in November, take office in January and the strikes and closed schools will be less frequent. Everything else aside, this is my main concern. Why would a government want their people to remain uneducated? Jarring.

For those of you who read my last blog, here is the little visitor that surprised me upon my return home from the states.

And... where might that be?

Disclaimer: Today is probably not the best of days for me to be writing, but I decided to forge on and allow a brief glimpse into that other side of life for a Peace Corps volunteer that is oh so hard to explain, albeit equally as important as the laughing, getting suntanned, swinging in hammocks all day side. After an amazing two week trip back home to Ohio I find myself in a haze. They tell you the "what the heck am I doing here" moments will come and go, but having them at a time when I could still smell my mom's perfume on my shirt, still see my dad's great big smile chuckling at me, still feel the soft skin of my best friend's son on my shoulder, and still hear my niece and nephew laughing at nothing I have to wonder if I can shake this one.

Think positive, think positive. Ok, here it goes, but I can pretty much guarantee this is going to take a turn into that indescribable land of clutter brain that is the Peace Corps life. Please bear with me. My trip home, ahh, my trip home. From the moment I left my little town until the moment I landed back 3 pounds heavier from the all the Reese's Cups I smuggled everything was bliss. My best friend with her beautiful one year old son who I had never met along with my mother and brothers met me at the airport and there it is was, the life I had left behind. I found it just as I had left it (other than the few extra human beings who had arrived into the world since I left). Everything just picked up where I had left it. I kid you not, just about every single person I spent time with said "It feels like you never left". I'm not sure what I was expecting. The horror stories of volunteers going home and feeling abandoned and like a freakish outsider danced in the back of my head during my first year. What if we don't have anything to talk about anymore? What if I feel differently about something that was commonplace for me before? What if the people I love the most don't feel like they know who I am anymore? Nonsense I say, nonsense. The only problem I had adjusting to my old life was not having enough time, and even that I managed like any red blooded American, with lots of Starbucks. My voice literally went out on me from spreading my stories and experiences. This was the only hint that I had gone anywhere. I never tired of all of the open arms and hearts from people at my Dad's doctors' offices, to all of the wonderful people at Heinen's and my dear friends from Greater Cleveland Volunteers who follow my life and have genuine concern and interest. I never really knew life was that good until I stepped away from it for a minute and came back. With that, I now must go back from where I came, for another year.

My heart is not heavy from this, on the contrary, I feel more light and free here than anywhere in the world. Dun, dun, dunnnnn. Enter the huge "but" you all knew was coming. With the pleasant northeast breeze of Ohio nipping my back I landed, as did the drops of sweat to the ground from my brow. Seriously, I am melting. So I call the hotel (and by hotel I mean a room in someone's house) to pick me up. No he says, we don't pick up from the airport. Fine, I will just have a taxi take me from here, I say. Wait he says, are you a Peace Corps volunteer? Why, yes, as a matter of fact I am. He says, I will come get you for $10, those guys will rip you off big time. Now to the average optimist this seems like a great turn out, right? Well it is, for Honduras. In my own country I would have friends to come get me, or a car to drive freely, or know the public transportation system well enough to get myself wherever I needed to go, at my own control. In the states $10 is lunch at Panera, here it is about 4% of my monthly income. Ahh, this relativity thing is really a mind boggler.

At least I had a not so warm welcoming from an unexpected friend when I returned, at my very own house in fact. My friend Oscar and I entered my house and I went straight to the kitchen to put some food away. Jessica, come here my friend said. Hang on, I am doing something I reply. No, Jessica, seriously, come here he says. Writhing in the door jam was a creamy yellow slithering snake which had apparently followed our steps into my house and when the door shut an ear piercing crunch led Oscar's eyes to the door jam, where he introduced me to our newest houseguest. In typical girl fashion first I shrieked, then I jumped up and down on each foot like I was playing a terrifying game of hopscotch, then I ran. My very manly Honduran friend grabbed a large rock, which normally serves as a door stop and, in a very "me protect Jane" fashion started taking stabs at the cold blooded creature's head. Just as he landed a good blast a scorpion ran across my path as if to say "Ha ha, you can never get us all!". Another shriek and hoppity skip later both invaders were slain. Funny now? Sure. Just oh so far away from another life.

The pressure had been building, in my chest that is. Literally as soon as I landed in Honduras, I wrote it off as the immense climate change. That and the weight of my own expectations suffocating me. Oh, and the anxiety from the thought of not having another Iced Carmel Macciato for another year. Worse and worse it got. Before I knew it I was hacking up colors of the rainbow one should never see in phlem. This brings me to a cultural breakthrough as well as an upper resipratory infection diagnosis. It is very customary here to hauk up whatever goop that ails you from within and spit. Out a car window, out your front door, on the floor of the municipality, wherever nature calls. Eeww! Disgusting! How could anyone? Well, they can and should, I now feel their pain. I don't know if it's the dust, the burning garbage or the exhaust that leaves you hacking in the busses path, but it is real and necessary. If there were a group on Facebook I would be a fan, I Hauk Loogies! Who am I kidding, I am sure there is one. Oh, and by the way, I had to Google both "hauk" and "loogies" for the correct spelling. That brought up some interesting results.

Yes, these experiences give me great fodder for my new found vehicle of expression, but under the humor there is confusion. How is it that this experience feels like the most wonderful love I have ever experienced while all the while stitches of the most intense loneliness on the planet are sewn throughout? I am struggling. Maybe the reason I have come here was simply to give me the courage to utter those three little words. I could never muster the strength before now.

While life continues here, it hinges on what might happen today between the ousted President and the President appointed by the Honduran Congress. Here is a recent article from the Miami Herald regarding the political situation in Honduras.

Miami Herald - Posted on Friday, July 17, 2009 Talks seen as last chance to end Honduras' crisis By Freddy Cuevas, The Associated PressTEGUCIGALPA, Honduras --

Allies of Honduras' ousted President Manuel Zelaya say U.S.-backed talks in Costa Rica Saturday may be the last chance to avert a clash, perhaps even civil war.

Zelaya is threatening to return to his homeland with or without an agreement on ending the standoff and has said Hondurans have a constitutional right to launch an insurrection against an illegitimate government.

In Washington, U.S. State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley called Friday for nations to support the talks that are being mediated by Costa Rican President Oscar Arias, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1987 for helping to end Central America's wars.

He also appeared to allude to remarks by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a Zelaya ally who has called the negotiations a U.S.-backed trap and said on Friday: "In the next few hours, Zelaya will enter Honduras and we'll see what the gorillas are going to do" about it.

"No country in the region should encourage any action that would potentially increase the risk of violence either in Honduras or in surrounding countries," said Crowley, speaking to reporters in Washington.

Interim President Roberto Micheletti has said Zelaya might try to sneak in by crossing Nicaragua's jungle-cloaked border with Honduras, but the ousted president apparently was still in Nicaragua's capital on Friday.

Zelaya told Venezuelan state television late Thursday that the weekend talks hold out a moment of hope for a solution, but he was still readying for a return.

"I am preparing various alternatives: by air, by land, and others," he said. In Honduras, meanwhile, about 2,000 Zelaya supporters blocked two highways connecting Tegucigalpa to the Caribbean and Pacific coasts for several hours Friday.

American Airlines temporarily suspended its two daily U.S. flights to the capital because of the political crisis, airline spokeswoman Berna Osorto said. Continental and Delta were continuing their flights.

Arias has presented a series of possible compromises to both camps, but indicated a power-sharing deal in which Zelaya could return to serve out the remaining months of his term with limited power would dominate the talks.

Arias said discussions also will cover possible amnesty for Zelaya. The Supreme Court issued an arrest warrant for Zelaya before the coup, ruling his effort to hold a referendum on whether to form a constitutional assembly was illegal. The military decided to send him into exile instead on June 28 - a move that military lawyers themselves have called illegal but necessary.

Many Hondurans viewed the proposed referendum as an attempt by Zelaya to push for a socialist, Chavez-style model of governing.

Arias said Friday both camps have "softened, and I think we are going to find more flexibility." In the first round of talks the two sides agreed only to meet again.

Micheletti told Colombia's RCN Radio that his government is open to dialogue but argues that Zelaya committed crimes against "the economy, the citizenry and against the constitution" and cannot be allowed to return to power.

He accused Zelaya of "calling for bloodshed." Micheletti said he is willing to move up the elections as a way out of the crisis. The congressional president, sworn in to replace Zelaya, also said he would resign "if Mr. Zelaya stops inciting a revolutionary movement in the country and stops trying to return here."

If no agreement is reached, Zelaya's foreign minister Patricia Rodas has said he would return to Honduras to install a parallel government "to direct what I will call the final battle." She did not elaborate.

Zelaya's Sunday deadline for the coup leaders to back down falls on the 30th anniversary of Nicaragua's July 19, 1979, Sandinista revolution that toppled dictator Anastasio Somoza.

U.S.-backed Contra rebels later used Honduras as a base to attack President Daniel Ortega's socialist Sandinista government.

Rumors abound in Honduras that arms are once again being sent in through Puerto Cortes, that Venezuelans and Nicaraguans are infiltrating groups in the country and that uprisings are being planned in two or three provinces, according to political analyst and columnist Juan Ramon Martinez.

Ortega called rumors of Nicaraguan infiltration "a total lie," and countered with reports that Honduran soldiers might try to disguise themselves as Nicaraguan troops to spark unrest.

I have to tell you, this English class has been my favorite project here. My students are there because they really want to learn. They show up every Saturday, do their homework and really study for the quizzes and tests. Not only do I have a working relationship with this group of people, but we are truly friends too. Here are the dipolma earners on the last day of the first English class. I am like a proud mama.

Speaking of mamas, here is Iris accepting her diploma. Her daughter Isabel and son in law Oscar are also in the class. One day the class had an assignment to interview a classmate. Iris interviewed Isabel`s best friend, Alicia. Not only was her English terrific, but the way she talked about her daughter`s best friend brought me to tears. She said how she feels like Alicia is her very own daughter and how she has been special to her since she was a little girl and how watching her grow up with Isabel has been a joy. I thought of all of my best friends and how close I am to so many of their moms. I am so lucky to have so many people in life to love, and the list just keeps getting longer.

Ok, so this one is kind of random and off topic, but this is Alicia`s little boy Angel. I usually hold him and play while everyone is working on independent assignments or tests. I call him my little boyfriend and the class gets a kick out of it. The other cool thing about it is he is almost exactly the same age as my best friend`s son, who I have yet to meet since I had left for the Peace Corps before he was born. I try to imagine sometimes that it`s him I am hugging and snuggling. Can`t wait to meet you Pax!

9 of my students earned a diploma, obtaining a 70 percent or better. From the beginning of the class I had promised that the top 3 from each class would earn a trip to Pizza Hut. At the last minute, since there were only 3 more than I had planned, Susan told me to invite everyone. Well, it couldn`t have been better timing, it was a perfect time to remove ourselves from the earthquakes, H1N1 flu and political goings on for an afternoon of some serious pizza eating.Here`s Idalia (one of only 2 kids from the basic class who earned a diploma) and Karen, one of the better students in the more advanced class. Both of them had the best attendance only missing one class each. Idalia lives in a community which is about a 45 minute walk to the place where English class is held. Through rain, earthquakes and 100 degree heat she has shown up. Remember when I talked about the good advice I received regarding focusing on "one"? If Idaliah is the only person to get something out of my being here, it will have been worth it. Special thanks to Susan and my friend Mary from home for making this awesome outing possible. .

President Zelaya has been removed from the country and, in the eyes of the Honduran government, from office. This morning at 6 am the Honduran military went to his home, physically removed him and put him on a plane to Costa Rica pursuant to a court order issued by the Supreme Court. Today there was to be a vote of the Honduran people, a referendum, for an issue on November`s ballot pertaining to the extension of a President`s term limits, among other broadly termed changes to the Constitution. The Supreme Court ruled that this vote was illegal prior to the vote, but Zelaya wanted to continue regardless. He asked for the help of his military in seeing the vote took place and General Velasquez, the top dog, refused siding with the Supreme Court. Zelaya fired him, he was reinstated after the Supreme Court ruled he had been released without reason. Honduras has sworn in a provisional President, Roberto Micheletti, the head of Congress.

For more information click on the following links.

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/06/27/honduras.zelaya/index.html

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/06/28/honduras.president.arrested/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Please know that I am safe and Peace Corps has been in constant contact with me about what is happening. Lots of friends, neighbors and co-workers are watching over me and keeping me informed. I am in extremely good hands. I have not seen any sort of violence of protesting and there seems to be a general sense of calmness where I live as well as through the entire country. The days ahead will provide us with more answers and a clearer picture of how this will play out. I will keep you posted.

Pheww! Time is just a rollin on by. It has been almost a year since I flew off to begin this crazy journey. Let me tell you about what has been going on lately.

Honduran Labor Day, what a great holiday here. We actually spent the day together, with the people we work with, what a concept! It was great, we packed some coolers and headed down to the river. We ate, drank, danced and swam all afternoon. Here is our mayor enjoying the BBQ. This really brought me closer to my co-workers, although one had a few too many cervezas and was growling like a wolf because we were at a place called Los Lobos (the wolves)! Just like the office parties I am used to.

I am still working hard with Oscar to get the high school library in order. Here he is showing off the tables we had a carpenter make for the room. We are also starting a project together to try to get funding for a sort of trade school at the high school. It would be like a technical training center for cooking, mechanics, woodshop, and other trades.

Also, we are working with the women at Grandma's house on a home garden project. Here are the kids. Hopefully this garden project can get some nutritious vegetables in their bellies as well as some money from selling some to pay for other necessities. An organization called PeaceWork in conjunction with Virginia Tech University, a technical training organization called INFOP and members of the community are all playing a part in this project. My part... I like to play and talk with the kids and give lots of hugs and kisses. I have the best job in the whole world.

We gave some HIV talks at the factory at Standard Fruit Company. I asked 2 health volunteers to come and do it, I just set it up. They did such a great job. The factory workers asked us to come back to give a demonstration how to use a condom. We showed them and handed out condoms. It was a great success. Right now we are working with the administrative offices of Standard Fruit to get a team of employess together to have them trained by Peace Corps volunteers on all of the HIV information so that they can give the talks. Sustainability, sustainability, sustainability.

Then it was time for my suntanned toes to tickle some sand. My dear friend Sandy from the states came for a week of fun. We started by staying at the Intercontinental Hotel, it was luxurious, especially having been removed from such joys for so long. We cranked the air and slept on the most comfortable beds in the whole world, I am serious. We spent a couple of days on Utila, one of the islands off the coast of Honduras. We stayed in a great hotel, the Mango Inn. It was in the middle of a bunch of trees and tropical plants. We swam in the pool, explored the island, snorkeled in the Caribbean, found a mattress that Sandy really wanted to take home, ate serious amounts of food (including the most delicious cinnamon roll in the world, seriously, the outside is even more delicious than the inside, how can it be?) and I even found time for a pedicure, and yes, that is a ping pong paddle. We took a hike to a waterfall and another at the Pico Bonito lodge followed by a nice lunch. It was so great to have one of my peeps here with me to see exactly what I am doing, where I live and meet the people that have become what my life is all about. Plus, she brought me a bunch of goodies including Cranberry Chutney Yankee candles, hair gel (dont judge me, you try to have curly hair and live in the tropics), vegetable and herb seeds (although I may have to come up with a better plan than planting them in my yard, I recently discovered I have some coconut thieves) and dried apricots. Sandy went way outside of her comfort zone to be here, just ask her about her first encounter with a port-a-potty. Thanks for an amazing week Sandy! You will have to come back so we can find Utopia, for real this time. Oh, and to give your Honduran dog a day in the life of an American, maybe we can make a reality show.

Right after Sandy left (sniffle sniffle) it was Carnival in the La Ceiba, the biggest party in Honduras (smile smile). Along with Carnival there are little carnivalitos all throughout the area. Oscar took me to the carnival and it was surprisingly similar to one of our fairs. There was livestock, live music, cotton candy and even cheesy games to win your loved one an equally cheesy prize. We ate pupusas (think cheese, dough and fried) and listened to a live band. There was also a rodeo, yee haww!

English classes are going great! Recently the kids received an assignment to make a book of all the lessons they had learned including an activity for each lesson such as a word search. Thanks to Mary for offering the resources to buy all the materials they could have ever wanted to make their books. The final is this Saturday, eeeek! Some of the adults also made a book. I was more than impressed, they obviously took a huge amount of time to complete these. Don`t worry, they were handsomely rewarded in the form of bonus points. Also, again thanks to Mary, the top 3 students from each class will be joining me for a lavish Pizza Hut lunch!

Ever zipped through the rainforest on wire cables and a harness? If not, you totally need to try it. My friends Susan and Scott host mission teams and one of their teams invited me along on their ziplining trip. We went to a nearby town called Sambo Creek where you drive up a steep mountain and arrive at the first tree stand. You have a harness with a hook that they hook onto the pulley thingy that takes you down the wire. The longest run is about a kilometer. You zip from tree stand to tree stand and are able to look out into the rainforest and the ocean. There were 18 zips in all. Amongst the rainforest are pockets of hot springs, some are even at boiling temperature. After the zipping we had a picnic at one of the cooler hot springs where there was a bowl of mud available for skin masks. Who needs Mario`s?!

Part of our program in the schools is checking eye acuity and for any obvious problems so that we can send them to an eye clinic for assistance. Recently I organized a bus to take 9 people to the clinic for glasses and other consultations. Two kids received eyeglasses, two kids will go back with their parents in August to talk to a specialist about surgery (both are cross-eyed) and one little girl with a cataract was informed that it was tiny tiny and that surgery wouldn`t be required at this time but we should keep checking it every couple of years. Here are my new little buddies David and Elvin.

There was an earthquake in Honduras. It registered 7.1 on the Richter scale with the epicenter around one of the islands right off the coast of my town, El Porvenir. I woke up right before it happened, about 2:30 a.m. The the whole house started to shake and the windows rattled like I was in between two sets of railroad tracks, at one point I thought for sure something was going to bust through the wall. Anyone who knows me knows of my in between sleep and consciousness escapades so just imagine me sitting there half in and half out of what is happening around me saying the whole time, Is this seriously happening? I sometimes hallucinate right as I am waking up and so at one point I was convinced that a wrecking ball was going to come through the wall, I still hadn`t realized it was an earthquke. This was probably lucky for me, I sat there calm as could be, hypnotized by the deafening hum of the earth. It lasted for what seemed like a solid couple of minutes, I didn`t know when or if it was going to stop. Some small aftershocks followed and I came fully to. I felt so alone. I wasn`t quite sure what to do or who to call. The phones were jammed up immediately so I just sat in my bed and listened to the crowds come together in the street. I don`t think many went back to sleep after that, I managed to doze a bit (for those of you who know me well, not a surprise). At sunrise I went through the house to inspect the damage. No damage, just some tousled objects, things fallen off the shelf. At 5:30 a friend from the states texted me to see if I was Ok. When I called him back he told me it was a 7.1! We were without power until a couple hours ago so I had no access to the news to know the extent the earthquake or it`s damage. Luckily, considering the magnitude there was little substantial damages and casualties have been reported as only being a few. Lots of you have called, texted, emailed and such to inquire as to my well being. Thank you for caring that much. I am alive and well and thankful that this natural disaster didn`t cause more damage.

We cleaned 250 kids´ teeth, sent 30 to the dentist, did a health review with fun games, performed skits with puppets teaching how to brush and other health related themes to 600 kids, performed 600 eye acuity exams, gave HIV education to 40 employees at Dole, went to Trujillo (one of the most beautiful beaches in Honduras), took a train to a boat for a river tour of the jungle where we saw howler monkeys and a baby crocodile, laid in a hammock and caught some zzz´s, helped build a house for Habitat for Humanity, had a surprise birthday party given by my Intermediate English class and got bit by a monkey. And that is just the last two weeks!

Ok, so of course while I like to think I could, I didn’t do all of this single handedly. We had a team from Toronto that did the cleaning and dentistry. Needless to say I´ve been saying ”eh” without even realizing it. While the three hygienists cleaned teeth that have never been exposed to a scraper, or whatever the technical word for that thingy is, I entertained them with a fun review playing musical chairs and “hot potato”. My role was also logistics, my forte, although I am rethinking proclaiming this after this experience. This was a success on so many levels. First, the kids who really needed fillings and root canals either got them this week or are on a list to be seen. Second, the kids were amazing. Some were scared at first, but only because in the land of Honduras all they do is pull teeth, not fix them, so that is what the kids are used to. After I assured them the hygienists certainly weren’t going to pull, and if they were sent to the dentist he would only pull if absolutely necessary, they were very willing and so well behaved. One kid, Alex, had to go to the dentist 3 days in a row for various treatments, all in all valuing over $4,000. He showed up every day with a smile on his face. Even if that was the only kid that was helped during my entire service it would be worth it, but the great thing is that there are so many more being helped. One of the women with the team asked me a question that had been keeping her up at night one evening over a well-deserved cocktail, “Is it worth it? I know we are here teaching them how to take care of their teeth and that’s great, but are our efforts for naught; do you really think they will continue what we have been showing them?” My response, “If one child does it, it’s worth it”. This is the philosophy that has been keeping me going, advice given to me by my dear friend Susan, a missionary here in El Porvenir.

Speaking of Susan, animal lover and proud owner of Cha Cha the white-faced monkey, I now come to the “got bit by a monkey” part of my intro. So, it was a peaceful day, the breeze was blowing, the sun was shining and I decided it was the perfect day to introduce myself to Cha Cha. She loved me….at first. She climbed up my arm and snuggled my neck and petted my arm, and then, she turned. Teeth sunk into my arm as if I were a prime cut of meat. Susan did what she could but Cha Cha stood strong. As I contemplated my escape it was an eternity before Susan got a hold of her long enough for me to flee for the door. So I didn’t make a new friend that day, but the good news is I didn’t contract rabies either. How many of you can say you got bit by a monkey, pretty cool, eh?

(Abuelito Encillas) Grandpa Gums is the star of our puppet show, a skit teaching kids about the importance of dental care, protection from the sun, washing hands, etc. Along with that we give out toothbrushes and do fluoride treatments. The great thing is we go back every year for a review, so hopefully something sticks, and I don’t mean the plaque on their teeth! An adjunct to our eye acuity exams is discovering problems that have nothing to do with dental or optical health. Ana, a six year old sweetie pie was up for her eye exam when someone from our team asked about what looked like a burn on her neck. Well, a burn it was not, but a horrible skin disease that the girl has lived with since she was four months old. We sent for her father who permitted us to take some photos to show a dermatologist. Ana lifted her shirt and skirt and, to my dismay, uncovered sores all over her body, the worst of which we were informed was in places not suitable to be shown in public. Remember what I said about just one child? What a testament to that philosophy!

Now the fun stuff! Trujillo, aka heaven, is a beautiful coastal town with a bay bound beach. The water is clean and clear and there are no tourists! Picture 80 degrees, sun shining, waves lapping at our feet on the shore, cold drink in hand, and a view of the mountains on either side of the bay, man o man, it just doesn’t get better than that.

One of our volunteers works with Habitat for Humanity in La Ceiba and invited us along to help build a house for a family. It was great fun, a good workout and now I know a little more about mixing concrete and making walls out of concrete blocks. If anyone needs a house built, I`m your girl, well not really, but I can help!

There is a wildlife reserve called Cuero y Salado in a nearby town which we visited recently. You drive to a little train, just one car really, which takes you to a little motor boat. From there you go up a river into a series of channels to find wildlife. We saw howler monkeys, bats and a baby crocodile. Sometimes manatees are spotted. It’s a peaceful place with mangroves, birds and vines all over the place. Just to be out on the water was a treat. Our guide apparently spoke monkey because he would hoo hoo hoo and the monkeys would reply. One of the women from the Canadian team tried and they didn’t respond. I told her they must not have understood her Canadian accent.

By the way, that`s Dr. Bill Kerr the dentist and I in the photo, not the monkeys.

So, do I see it as time here being one-third gone, or two-thirds remaining? It depends on the day. Let me take you through some of my days here and you can see how the rollercoaster I call my life in Honduras works. Here, more it seems than anywhere I have ever been, there definitely is an equal and opposite reaction to every action, I repeat, opposite reaction. That is to say, it seems for every positive there is inevitably a negative.

Recently I had one of those Peace Corps moments, a moment where all of the trouble, training, cold showers, being away from friends and family were so worth it. A group of 12 women approached me when I first arrived here, when I didn’t know much of anything about anything. They had formed an organization with a name, purpose and list of members and filed it with the equivalent of our Secretary of State. Wow, very organized and determined, of course I would try to help such a group. As I found out more about them and about the municipality I work with, the puzzle began fitting together, at least in my mind, I hoped the other involved parties would agree. The women essentially want to start a business to earn money as mostly single mothers. Great, what kind of business I ask, a seemingly simple question right? Visualize large flood gates opening; Sewing, water purification, childcare, tilapia farms, baking, tourism, you name it, and they probably did too. Ok, problem #1, focus. Whittling down these ideas has, to this day not been completely done away with, but we are getting there and they finally decided sewing is what they wanted to pursue. Great, now where do they get the seed capital to start it up? They naturally assumed I, being the one with the white skin, had it in my back pocket, or better yet, I could call my rich uncle who owns the Fortune 500 in the states and it would just be a matter of filling in the amount on the check. One of the biggest obstacles I have here as a Peace Corps volunteer, rebutting the money tree that everyone seems to think exists. My job is developing people, not spitting out money like an ATM. Luckily, being a Municipal Development volunteer, I am well aware of a pocket of funds called ERP funds (Early Reduction of Poverty) with, what do you know, a specific line item for micro-enterprises for single mothers (a mini Peace Corps moment). Naturally I explain the undeniable connection and, to my chagrin, am refuted and informed that they have been trying to get help from the municipality for years to no avail. Firm, but understanding, I laid it out, if they wanted my help we were going have to start on the inside and work our way out seeking funds. First the municipality, then local non-profit organizations, then, if we had to, further to other countries. Begrudgingly, they agreed. Acting as a liaison between the people and the municipality is a natural fit for me, and, lucky for me, part of my job. We all sat down together with the Community Development person in the municipality, Kelly, who agreed to allow the women to put on a presentation to the municipality. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the presentation due to a prior commitment, but they certainly didn’t need me, (Ok, this is it, the big Peace Corps moment), it was a hit and the municipality loved it and agreed to fund them!! And, then, in true Peace Corps fashion, just as quickly as it had come, it went, well kind of. A week later Kelly casually asked, what happened to your girls, they were supposed to get me their solicitation outlining the project with a budget, etc. Ugghhh! All of that and so much more to go and already the follow through is crashing and burning. Ok, they just need a little pick me up, again part of my job. Just in case they were stuck, I scour my resources the whole day and print out some forms on how to write a project, budgeting, etc. I knew the president of the group would be up at the high school selling fruit to the kids at their break time, so I went there. Just as I had suspected, they didn’t know where to go from here, no problem, that’s why I am here. We scheduled a meeting for the following Monday. Six of the twelve women showed up because it was raining, never mind I had the furthest to walk. It’s a good thing that I am a decent facilitator because they were back to discussing other ideas for projects rather than ironing out the details for the sewing gig. Seriously, let’s focus. Back on track we went through the forms I had pulled answering questions about how their sewing project would help the community, the people involved, etc. Then we slid with a screeching halt into the budget portion. They had no idea how much a sewing machine would cost, how much material they would need to sew one purse, how many zippers and buttons they might need. No, problem, I am good at this stuff, that’s why I am here. I suggested they make a list of the things they would need, equipment, material to last a year until they were self-sustaining and anything else they may need. Diligently the list was made and, while we may have hit up Google for such research, they assigned one of the younger members the task of going into La Ceiba (a larger nearby city) the next day to fill in the blanks on their budget. Perfect! They were scheduled to meet with Kelly in two days to turn in the final solicitation. Of course, after attempting to confirm the turn-in date with Kelly she moved the date to the following week, which was actually an advantage; it gave them more time to work. I called the president to relay the new date and told her I wouldn’t be able to make it, but if they had any questions in the meantime to not hesitate to contact me. D day and I was so proud of the women, and of me for doing exactly what a Peace Corps volunteer should be doing, without too much frustration. I went to the high school for some other business and saw the president of the group selling her fruit. Como le fue? (How did it go?) I ask almost giddily. Fijese que (I believe I have explained this expression, but in case some of you missed it, this phrase is almost always followed by some sort of excuse for not having done something) it was raining this morning and I got up late and had to go to town….. (the list goes on, but I will not bore you). Now, take the exact opposite of the beautiful Peace Corps moment I had experienced before and plug that in here as I let out an exasperated sigh. Certainly the disappointment showed on my face; good, it should I thought. I worked really hard and felt extremely let down and I wasn’t shy about letting them know that. She asked me if turning it in tomorrow was Ok and since the municipality also functions on the same mindset I’m sure it was fine but I told her I didn’t know, today was the day and that’s all I know, as I literally threw my hands up in despair..

As you can see, positive and negative effects neatly woven together represent my work here as a Peace Corps volunteer, and this is just one instance. I have similar stories in my artillery, all comprised of both small and significant accomplishments and disappointments alike. Is that how I approached challenges in my past life? I don’t know, the contrast just seems more pronounced here. For now I will concentrate on the positive things amongst some of the angst filled parts like playing in the sand on the beach with some of my favorite kids, teaching my English class, working hard to finally have a functioning high school-community library and playing in the bamboo ridden Lancetilla botanical gardens. In the meantime, I can’t help but wonder,

is the road ahead of me a long one, or not long enough?

I am grateful for the blister on my foot from where my old shoe rubs, because it means I have shoes to wear.

I am grateful for the few extra pounds around my waist, because it means I have enough to eat.

I am grateful for the rats that crawl around in my roof all night keeping me awake, because it means I have a roof over my head.

I am grateful for the scratches on my knuckles from scrubbing my clothes clean, because it means I have a place to wash my clothes.

I am grateful for all of the armpit stains on every single one of my tank tops, because it means I have clothes to wear.

I am grateful for my aching legs after walking all day long, because it means I am able to walk.

I am grateful for making silly mistakes in Spanish, because it means I am able to speak.

I am grateful for eating beans, rice and tortillas everyday, because it means I am eating, everyday.

I am grateful for my cold shower because it means I am able to bathe when I want and in the privacy of my own home.

I am grateful for the buses that leave me coughing as the exhaust fills my path, because it means I am breathing.

I am grateful for the roosters, dogs, donkeys, birds and kids that wake me up at 5 in the morning, because it means I am waking up that morning.

*****2009 is upon us and if my time leading up to it and the last 9 days are any indication of the coming year, I am in for lots of fun, challenges, progress with my projects and the most beautiful natural landscapes I have ever laid my eyes on. The first two pictures were taken about a month ago when we received inches upon inches of rain in about a day. At some depths it was up to my thigh. The family pictured is the family of Caloi, a man who works for Susan and Scott, a missionary couple who lives here in town. The most amazing part of the experience had nothing to do with the water level, but the strength of the people who were effected. We did what we could to get everything off of the ground and to block the water where we could, but then, as you can see, we made lemonade with those soggy lemons, busted out the canoe and row row rowed the boat gentley down the street.*****The next set of pictures were taken at a waterfall on a river called Rio Zacate. After about an hour hike just into Pico Bonito the jungle revealed the steaming falls as the light shed through I felt like I was on a movie set, it was just so unreal. We swam for a bit, had a snack, soaked up the glorious view and headed back through the lush green forest. The pictures tell the story far better than I ever could.*****The motley crew after the waterfall pics are some friends who visited over the holiday season. Chilling on the beach, swaying in some hammocks, enjoying each other, I couldn´t have asked for a better way to ring in the new year.*****Speaking of chillin on the beach, as you can see I really hated swimming and soaking up some rays on Christmas and New Year´s Days. Definately something I have never done and will not soon forget.*****Next, Santa and Mrs. Claus, aka Susan and Scott caught on their way to spread Christmas joy with some Hondurans. They do incredible things for El Porvenir and other aldeas all over this region of Honduras from helping the fishermen build forest friendly boats to running 10 feeding centers. I don´t know how they do it all, I am half their age and they run circles around me. *****The remaining pictures are from a half day hike I did up Pico Bonito. A Honduran guide took me and showed me the flora and fauna, including some tucans. Being quite the nature guy, at one point my arm brushed a cocoon which had natural defense spineys all over it and the pain shot through my forearm. Although I´ve never been stung by a jellyfish, for some reason I feel like thats how this felt. He jumped into action, sliced open the cocoon with his machete until it oozed a clear liquid which he slathered onto my arm where the pain was. Immediately the pain was relieved, good thing he was there. At one point I commented that the mosquitos were biting pretty bad, in no time he tracked down a specific plant, ripped off some leavesl, smashed them up and then handed the mash to me to spread the natural repellent on my body. Deet free and a a fresh woodsy scent, who needs Off??*****As for work, it´s really starting to take off. I gave my first English test on Thursday and they did really well. Coming up we are having a community meeting to discuss the uniform exchange program. School is going to start back up at the beginning of February so we will start the Healthy Living Program where we go into each classroom with puppets, games and activities teaching the kids about oral hygiene, general healthy living and HIV-AIDS. Also, I can´t wait to work with the already existing environmental groups in the schools to really concentrate on getting a workable recycling program going in our town. After a fun and restful holiday break I am so ready to sink my teeth into the meat of my work here.

It was about halfway (maybe a little less, in my defense) through training and we were scheduled to have a meeting with the safety and security guy from Peace Corps. He had been on leave as his wife had recently given birth to their second child. I was all set to properly bestow upon him the proper wishes for such an occasion, a very heartfelt Congratulations. I wanted to be the first one to say it (what am I in first grade?). He walked in and I blurted it out, Feliz Navidades! His cheeks flushed a little and then his face told me the ah ha went off in his brain and he graciously thanked me with a slight giggle. Of course my fellow trainees were not as forgiving, the entire room erupted into laughter, then my face went beet red. One of my friends explained that not only had I wished him Merry Christmas, but Merry Christmases! It was an honest mistake, congratulations is felicidades, I just merged the two words for Merry Christmas. What a rookie I was (hopefully this is a past tense and I have advanced at least a little past rookie status). As such, I wish you all Feliz Navidades and Happy Holidays from the bottom of my heart. May you enjoy this time with good friends, loving family and happy hearts. I have found new friends and family here in Honduras, not to replace the old ones, but to add to my classic collection.

I can hardly sleep, I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve that has already peeked at my gifts and now am imagining all of the possibilities how to play with my new toys when they are actually in my possession tomorrow (not that I would know what that feels like Mom). I move into my new house tomorrow, my very own Honduran casa, complete with mango and coconut trees! My host family has been and will continue to be precious to me, just as the other two were, however it has been more than 5 months since I moved to this wonderful country and I have lived with generous families ever since, it´s time to spread my newly grown Honduran wings. Not only is this the first time I´ve lived out of my own country, but it´s the first time ever I will be living alone, wooohooo! At this moment I have exactly zero furniture, not a bed, not a stove, not even a chair or a pot to you know what in, but the whole echoing place is mine, all mine I say! There are three bedrooms, only two of which I have access to as the owners are storing something in the third (only in Honduras, right?). Worried at first that it might be bodies or drugs I was relieved when the realtor revealed the owner was a doctor and stores medical supplies there. The house is in a really safe neighborhood complete with watchman riding around on bikes, not to mention the necessity to unlock three locks before you can even step foot in the house. Did I mention there is also a 15 foot concrete fence surrounding the perimeter, very Fort Knoxish. The yard is huge with lots of shade from trees, a seemingly perfect spot for a vegetable garden, however seeing as I have never grown a vegetable in my life stay tuned for the result of this theory. I am looking forward to making it my own with a little paint and a lot of thrifty imagination. Any money saving tips on furnishing and-or decorating would be greatly appreciated. Does anyone have experience making furniture out of paper mache?

Being patient and flexible has been crucial to my success thus far in Honduras. Things are constantly being changed, people don`t show up when they say they are going to and things take 10 times as long to get done here than I`ve ever experienced. I am surely rolling with the punches. The most recent jab was received last week when I went to the post office (aka the house of a women named Yolanda where the mail for my town is delivered from a nearby larger town). She came to the door and began, ¨Fijese que...¨ which in Spanish translate to something like,¨Here´s the thing...¨. She proceeded to tell me that after 14 years of providing this service to my town of El Porvenir that it will no longer be provided. So, not a big deal, I have rented a PO Box in the La Ceiba, so I do have a new address for you to continue sending all of the wonderful things you have been sending. Yesterday I got the announcement of my best friends new son, last week a dear friend sent fall leaves pressed in wax paper to give me a taste of the Northeast Ohio autumn I missed so dearly and a few weeks ago I received 18 individual letters from my friends classroom of students asking some great questions about what I am doing here and Honduras. Thank you so much for all of the great mail. I received some good news today that I may be able to move into my new house as soon as this weekend and when I do I can`t wait to decorate my walls with all of the beautiful pictures I`ve received. Here`s the new address:

Jessica DillworthApartado Postal #911

La Ceiba, Atlantida

Honduras, Central America Don`t worry about the letters and packages currently in route, they will get to me. Believe it or not my Spanish is good enough that I was able to go to the post office, explain what I needed and that I was still waiting for mail going to my old address and rent a PO box! This patience thing is really paying off!

When the Peace Corps matched me up with a host family in El Porvenir I think they did so based on my picture because I really look like I could be one of them. Here is a picture of my host brother and sister at the river. The other evening my host mother and I were doing some front porch sittin when a neighbor pulled up on his bicycle to shoot the breeze. I followed most of their conversation up until the part where he gave me the ol´ lip point and asked if I was Mariza´s niece and she shook her head yes. Certainly I had misheard . When the conversation was concluded and the man drove off I asked Maritza if she had told the man I was her niece. She said yes! She explained that I looked so much like her niece Lora that lives in the states that everyone just assumed I was her. She just went with it, why, I am not exactly clear. I told her that as soon as I open my mouth people know I am not Honduran. She explains to people that I have lived in the states my whole life and I am just visiting here for a couple of years so that’s why I don`t speak Spanish very well. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, why on earth is she telling people this? When I asked that question she said something about it just being easier and more private. I think the reason may be that she thinks they will become a target if they know a Gringa is living there because we are all filthy rich don`t you know! They were supposed to make me feel like one of the family, but I think this is a bit much! Here is my host family playing cards.

Some things just dont translate. The other day I brought home a jigsaw puzzle to do with my family. There are lots of days when everyone just kind of sits around not doing too much, especially with all of the rain recently, so I thought this would spice things up a bit. Wanting to share a little of my culture I thought, this is the kind of thing we up north might do on a rainy day, right? At first they didn´t know what it was, then once I got the box opened they informed me that they call it “rompe cabeza”, literally translating to “break head” because, apparently, that’s what such a brain teaser does to you when you are trying to figure it out. We were off to a great start; my host sisters and brother were really into it as I guided them through how to start. First we flip all of the pieces face up, then we look for all of the pieces with a flat edge to work on the outside first. It took us a while but the first couple pieces were matched after a couple of minutes to which I said jokingly, “Only 498 more to go!” at which my host mother gave a hearty chuckle. Being able to make jokes in the language you are trying to learn is so encouraging. Sarcasm and making people laugh is something I thrive on in my “normal life”, but those are the kinds of things that don’t translate exactly in Spanish, so its fun figuring out how to make it work. So we are sailing along with this puzzle, which by the way is a fall scene of a little house on a lake with the autumn colored leaves reflecting on the water, (sniffle sniffle, makes me miss home a little, but thanks to my friend Joy, I miss it a little less after receiving her the beautiful fall leaves from NE Ohio!). I start to notice that not only is my younger sister jamming the pieces to make them fit no matter what (seriously, her face was all scrunched up while she was doing it as if saying “I am going to make this thing fit if it’s the last thing I do”, I think she was even grunting a little bit), but parts of the outline that had already been put together are completely wrong. Boy was the rule following , coloring within the lines anxious ridden person I normally am being tested. I gently encouraged my younger host sister to be a little more kind to the poor puzzle pieces and politely showed my older host sister how the pieces on the outside didn`t quite match up. After about an hour everyone gave up and I optimistically suggested that our brains just needed a break and we could try another day. The next day I came home and the puzzle was boxed back up and put in my room.

A land lover I have never been, at sea is where I would rather be any day. Of the many beautiful, natural attributes El Porvenir has to offer, I must say the Caribbean Sea is #1 for me. Growing up on Lake Erie I have such fond memories of Edgewater Park and the beaches all along the northeast coast of Ohio. Happily I report that I am right at home with the sea a few minutes walk from where I live and work. Angela, Marvin and I took a walk to the beach the other day and I touched the water for the first time since I have been here, ahhh, what a refreshing feeling after all of the gloomy days we have been having this rainy season. Angela and I hiked up our skirt and pants respectively, flung off our shoes as fast as they would drop off our feet and hand in hand ran down the surf as small waves crashed into our feet and legs. Que rico! Que rico Jessica! (how refreshing) Angela said about a billion times. Uncertain whether she was simply enjoying our time together or if she never does this I made mental note to take advantage of this type of outing with the kids more often. Sand castle building contests, beach volleyball and skipping rocks have made their way to my agenda. Marvin found some other boys to play soccer with on the beach while Angela and I screeched at every wave that splashed us and dug our feet deep into the sand like little clams. We came upon some beautiful driftwood, half buried in the sand, the other half protruding from the ground. When we started heading back up the shoreline the way we had come Angela wanted to race, we ran to our shoes giggling like little school girls the whole way, at least Angela has an excuse, she is 9. What a beautiful day, I cant believe how lucky I am.

Geckos are our friends. They don´t hurt anyone, they aren´t messy, they eat up all of the bothersome little insects, they are kinda cute actually. They give off this soft purr, a soothing nightly noise that you come to look forward to each night and gently reminds you that you are in Honduras. This morning I came into the office to use the computer they have for me there and to my chagrin it was all torn apart, obviously being worked on. My co-worker beckoned me over and there it was…

a gecko had caused my motherboard, and himself in the process, to fry. What a site, the poor little guy never saw it coming I bet. There are just some things you could never say in the states, “A gecko crawled into my computer tower and fried to death” is a chart topper in that category. I wonder the last thought that crossed his little brain, maybe “Is someone barbequing?”

My municipality is super kid friendly, meaning kids are welcome to mill about, drink from the water cooler and just hang out if they like. Everyday I am surprised at how different it is in the states where kids would be *in the way* if they were just standing in your office and running about in common areas. As I mentioned the kids here are holding my heart prisoner, especially the pre-teen boys. Marvin (pictured here) and I met the other day (I absolutely love the names here, Oscar, Melvin, Oswaldo). He and a couple of his friends stopped into my office, at first to just stare at the Gringa, a game they like to play and, whether I want to play or not, am forced to be the other participant. After overcoming the initial awkwardness we began to speak, at first exchanging pleasantries and general information. Once they caught a glimpse of the manual for teaching English I have it was clear what we were going to do for the next 2 hours. Taking turns the three went through vocabulary, attempting to say the words in English, but only one of them was able to read much at all. I do not think the other two could read very well in Spanish, never mind English.

Marvin lives in my town with his grandparents because his parents and older siblings live on Roatan Island for work. The following week Marvin and his grandma were up at the municipality because they were giving away food to those most in need. What a debacle, the families were told the food would be there Monday, then Tuesday and then, after sitting at the municipality all day Wednesday they finally got their food packets. Marvin hung out with me the next morning and then I told him I wanted to see where his lived, a little surprised he repeated what I had just said to make sure he understood. Sure, I told him, I like to see where all of my friends live. The smile that snuck up on his face confirmed I had succeeded in communicating that I cared about him, something you can do even without speaking the same language very well. We strolled the streets of El Porvenir chatting the whole way, it was hard to believe we were able to fill the whole time with conversation, it was effortless, an adjective I have become unfamiliar with during my pursuit of learning a new language. When we arrived he unlocked the gate (which entails unlatching a loop of barbed wire from the wooden fence post) for me to enter. The whole way he had been talking about cañe (pronounced Kanye, as in Kanye West), asking what I knew about it, if I liked it, etc, I had no idea what he was talking about. After a brief hello to his grandma who was so hospitable, grabbing the nicest plastic lawn chair they had for me to sit, we went out back to meet grandpa. Marvin was talking about that darn cañe again as grandpa whipped out his machete (is it weird that I am used to such a site this now?) and commenced chopping at a large stalk growing from the ground. After freeing it from the ground he started working at cutting the outside bark from the top of the stalk. When he finished that he asked me to hold onto the part he had just shaved the bark from so he could lob of that part for me to eat. Without hesitating I grabbed it and he wacked it off with a couple swings (again, I was not phased me, I think I have been here too long!). Sugar cane, that is what Marvin had been talking about. Chomping into the stalk I realized why he was so excited, and also why everyone{s teeth are falling out here. Sweeter than sweet, it was a delicious snack after a long walk in the sun. After a pleasant visit with grandpa, Marvin grabbed what remained of the stalk which was taller than him informing me it was a gift, and proceeded to walk me home like a little gentleman. When I arrived home awkwardly trying to get in the house with this 7 foot stalk of sugar cane prepared to explain to my host mother what it was and what we needed to do with it. Silly me, obviously I haven{t been here long enough, otherwise I would know that everyone knows about sugar cane and how to prepare it, as my host mother demonstrated by casually suggesting I put the long pole on the pila (a large concrete basin where our water is stored) and when my host dad could he would go out back with the machete and take care of it. Of course he would!

It was the next day while my host sister (pictured here) and I were relaxing in the backyard that I was forced to rethink my experience, which on the surface was an innocent gesture from a kind Honduran family to the new foreigner. She proceeded to first chastise me for having gone into that neighborhood because it was dangerous (I had not known this and besides they say that about every neighborhood that isn{t their own) and told me that the only reason the family gave me the sugar cane is because they want something from me exchange, probably money. Processing the sudden punch in the stomach I had just received, I became silent and thoughtful momentarily. It had not occurred to her that they were genuinely trying to be kind to a person who had been spending some time with their grandson, just as it not occurred to me that ulterior motives were involved in this seemingly harmless exchange. After I thanked my host sister for her concern and suggestions for my future behavior I pondered. I dont want to become a jaded American having lived in a developing country because I was always second guessing the locals intentions. At the same time I need to be cautious enough to protect myself from unintended situations that may arise and the ramifications of behavior which I am unable to interpret. Naïve I am not, but there is a fine line naivety and erring on the side of optimism.

It was one of those days, the kind where I felt truly connected to my purpose and felt as if I were exactly where I needed to be (some people think PC volunteers feel like this everyday, believe me, we don´t). My really good day started last Sunday with Amalia and Charlie who live and volunteer here and are quickly becoming good friends of mine. Here is a picture of them and their neighbor (Charlie´s baby) Syra. Amalia is originally from Honduras and Charlie is a good ole´ southern boy from Texas, a little firecracker if you ask me. They (as well as most of us as I am finding out) live next door to a church whose members make everyone within earshot (and further even) aware of their love for God by yelling and singing about it at the top of their lungs, virtually every night. While I personally don´t share their enthusiasm where religion is concerned, I say more power to them, but not Charlie. He threatened to introduce the Hondurans to Willie Nelson on full blast the next time he deems their services too loud! Charlie and Amalia, among other projects, have been working on a project they call Grandma´s Kids. When they first came to help El Porvenir after Hurricane Mitch they stumbled upon some abuelitas (grannies) who were living with their children and grandchildren in dire living conditions. They didn´t have running water, were using the ocean to bath, wash clothes and to relive themselves, roofs falling in on top of them, malnourished, most of the children had TB among other health issues. One girl has epilepsy and is permanently damaged from seizing so profusely in the past as a result of not having the proper medication, at times for 30 minutes straight. Over the past years Amalia and Charlie have secured improved living conditions, provided assistance for means to feed the 7 women and 25 or so children and provided medication to treat many of their ailments. Even still, they could not be considered anything but poverty stricken by any stretch of the imagination. One of the issues is that there is no one to care for the little kids while the women work, so Charlie and Amalia built a daycare. This is the event I attended, the grand opening. And this is where I fell in love. These kids didn´t know me from a hole in the wall, but hugged me, touched me, clung to me and loved me immediately, like I had known them their whole life. The feelings were mutual. Here is a picture of Oscar (as you can tell the picture is compliments of him), he held my hand during the entire ceremony and gazed up at me so lovingly, I was melting. Another one of the many ¨oh yeah, this is why I¨m here¨ moments, which come when I´m not even expecting it, the best time. Expectations, what a relative term, like night and day between here and the United States. Right now my expectations are virtually nonexistent because I haven´t been here long enough to determine them. I´m finding that being in that mindset I am rarely disappointed and often pleasantly surprised, I could get used to that. Here´s a picture of all the kids, their moms and the grandmas. They are standing on a little bridge that connects their yard to the street, before it was built they trudged back and forth through essentially a swamp.

Charlie and Amalia are going back to the states for a couple of months so I told her I would check in on Grandma´s Kids while they were away. The next day I was still high and on my way home from the municipality when 3 of Grandma´s Kids riding a bike (see previous blog entry) started screaming Jessica!! Jessica!!. One of them jumped off, and came charging toward me. I caught him in my arms where he clung with his arms and legs wrapped around my torso like a koala bear. He asked where I was going and when I told him my house and he quickly replied, no you´re coming to my house, grabbed my hand and led the way. Who am I to argue with one of Grandma´s Kids? Originally, I had figured I would come by the house in a week or so to check in, but I found myself back there the very next day. Yes, I do believe in fate. Jose and I got closer to the house and as they saw the Gringa (that would be me) they came charging and screaming my name, 10 or so of Grandma´s Kids. Some had no shirts, some no pants, most had no shoes, some of those babies where even stark naked. One boy, maybe 3 or 4, who asked me no less than 100 questions (and screamed the question at the top of his lungs whenever I asked him to repeat it as if I couldn´t hear rather than couldn´t speak the language), was eating a cacao, a fruit with a bunch of seeds with sort of slimy sour flesh. As he spit out the seeds another little boy picked them up off of the muddy street to suck any juice that was left in the regurgitated seed. One curly dark-haired naked baby sat in the middle of the road, her little butt was caked with mud. They all fought to be the ones underneath my arms on each side, however being surprisingly polite to one another allowing turns to be taken. We talked for a while. They get such a kick out of teaching me Spanish and I feel less inhibited speaking around them than adults. When it was time to go I got 15 hugs (5 other kids had joined the ruckus by that time) and was made to promise to stop by tomorrow, the easiest promise I´ve ever made. I walked home contemplating the circumstances which had been presented; this is the kind of stuff I imagined when I signed up for Peace Corps. I finally feel like there is truly something I can do to help, although I´m not sure exactly what that is yet still, but I´m getting closer everyday. After all of the goodness that had filled my life in the last 24 hours or so I sat down to dinner that night excited to talk to my family about Grandma´s Kids and then…I was served chicken feet, 4 of them, and some of their necks too. Ok, not the worst thing in the world that could´ve happened, this is true, but it was certainly a first for me. I didn´t take a picture out of courtesy to my host mother, I didn´t need to, the image is now conveniently burned into my brain forever. Nonetheless, I did not come all the way here to be some prissy American that doesn´t embrace new experiences so I shoved one of the claws (there are three toes by the way in case you were wondering) into my mouth trying to simply scrape the meat (is there even meat on chicken toes?) with my teeth and then the middle claw broke off into my mouth. Yep, that did it, I was done, I had been a good sport and now I was done. My host mother had pretty much the same reaction she had had with the fish (see previous blog entry) and gobbled up the remaining 3 feet along with the other pathetically partially eaten limb, what remained of my feeble attempt at reaching new cultural horizons. Here´s one of the streets on my way to work.

Above left: This is the view from my kitchen to the backyard. That´s Pico Bonito your looking at.

Above right: Me and my little primito Ellis (cousin).

Cultural integration habits I am working on:

Eating every piece of meat off of a whole fried fish. This one was originally on my *have mastered* list, however I had to lessen my expertise ranking after dinner on Monday. When I passed over my plate of bones to be tossed out in the backyard and my host mother grabbed my fish head and rhetorically asked if it was mine to no one in particular, as she recognized this was certainly not any of her children´s doing, then she sunk her teeth into the skeleton for the remnants of the meat I had left behind. Did I mention this fish was probably caught an hour before we ate it? Definitely something I can work on.

Riding a bike, at least two at a time. While I haven´t tried this one yet, it takes me back to my childhood (Missy and me) when I see it. It´s very common to see adults doing it here, so I hope to have the opportunity to rehash this pastime. This is how it works, one person sits on the seat and pedals, the other person sits in from of the seat on the bar that connects the steering wheel and seat and steers. Talk about a task for trust and teamwork. Being a bit of a control freak I think this would be good therapy for me. I actually saw an entire family on one bike recently, Mom, Dad, young boy and baby in arms, I wouldnt have believed it if I didn´t see it.. It´s definitely a skill they have acquired, here, I´ve yet to see anyone even close to crashing.

Cultural integration habits I may never get down:

Chicharron. Those of you who know me well know that I am by no means a picky eater, in fact, I could probably benefit from being a little pickier. I tried to like chicharron, I really did. The first time tried they were served just like pork rinds, only they are much harder on the skin side and a little soft on the underside. Two such contrasting textures should not exist in one bite of anything, ever. I politely informed my host mother that I didn´t care for the popular skin treat I thought I was in the clear, then they served a meal after a meeting I attended and, I´m sure you´ve guessed by now, chichirron. This time it was served with yucca (a starchy root vegetable, much like a potato, which I do like) and warm cooked in a stew. The disguise did not fool my taste buds. Not wanting to be rude I choked down most of it, leaving a few bites for which I could not muster the strength.

Spitting. I´m not really sure what this one is all about yet, but so many people do it here. I´ve been trying to figure out if it´s from the dust or some sort of food staple that causes excess mucus production to rationalize it but have concluded that it´s just a bad habit like many have in the states. Part of my integration will not be picking up this habit.

Cultural integration habits which I have mastered:

Bucket baths. At this point I don’t even remember what a shower feels like, and have no desire for one. My morning bathing ritual includes a giant barrel of cold water in the bathroom and a little bowl used to scoop from the barrel onto my head and body. The bathroom is just one big open room with a toilet on one end then you stand at the other end by the barrel and just pour the water over you, soap up and rinse it off. Here´s a picture of our bathroom. Sandy, take deep breaths.

The lip point. This one is so simple and fun. In the states we use our fingers to point something out to someone, but in Honduras we use our lips. I know you want to try it, go ahead. Purse your lips like you{re kissing the air, but in the direction you want someone to look, also your eyes look in the same direction. Sometimes your lips curve around the corners of your mouth, sometimes they go straight up because it{s something behind you. You can even add your own twist, I personally like the eyebrow raise. I had witnessed the lip point for about 2 months until one day someone asked me where I lived and without even thinking about it gave the ole lip point as if I had been doing it my whole life.

Front porch sittin. I imagine in any country in the world this would be soothing to me, whether it be in the south in the states with a cold sweet tea or in Honduras with an icy chatamusca. I know, what is a chatamusca, right? It{s a popsicle in a bag. Pick a juice any juice, pour it in a little plastic bag, freeze it, then bite a hole in the bag to suck out the fruity goodness. There{s just something about passing the day or night with your family on the front porch as neighbors pass by enjoying each other and the environment that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. We talk and laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. The relationships amongst family members here is something many Americans could take a lesson from. Hugging, smiling, listening, laughing, joking, touching, holding hands and really spending quality time together, habits that should be universally cultural in my opinion.

Me and my host mother, Marizta, also known as the maker of the best flour tortillas round these parts!

It is cold here today, must be only 75 degrees. The whole month of October and most of November and December are cool with rain almost daily (I understand the relativity of this description and I imagine most of you are scoffing at me, deservedly so). It reminds me of early spring in northeast Ohio, only with palm trees and Hondurans rather than maples and Ohioans and without the remnants of that white stuff, what do you call that again? Funny how some things are so easily forgotten. I am now settling into my new home with ease and comfort. It is strange how natural it feels for me to be here, almost like something I did in another lifetime and I am just stepping back into this really familiar environment and taking over where I left off. While I was sad to see my new friends with whom I have spent the last 3 months training with go as we parted ways to our respective sites, I was also ready to start doing what I came here to do. You may ask, Jessica, what exactly is it you are there to do? My reply…I am figuring it out hour by hour, day by day, week by week. Every day another little piece of the puzzle comes to into the light, even if it is just a Spanish word I did not know the day before. Some pieces are bigger than others, yesterday for example the head of the Office for Ethnics (there are people of color here too, one prominent group in this area are the Garifunas) pulled me aside to discuss a latrine project he would like to see come to fruition during my time here. Next week we are going to take a ride out to the “campo”, which is what they call really rural areas of this country, to check out the sites. My role in this project will be to understand what they need, make a connection with funding sources that can make it happen, work along side them to write the grant, and offer any other support I am able. My role is as a development agent, developing people and their skills, not just do work for them. Besides, while I do know how to write grants (right Alan?!), my experience is in the United States and in English!! For me to attempt to write grants on behalf of the people in my community and the municipality would be futile. They obviously know more about their community and their language then I ever will, let alone after living here for one whole week. So what I can and will do is point them in the right direction, bring to their attention NGOs (non-governmental organization) they never knew existed that can help, give general guidance on grant writing and what lenders are looking for in projects and act as a task master to ensure the steps are being taken to accomplish the goals the people in my community have made for themselves. My work will also entail working in the schools with citizenship participation, teaching English and some health initiatives. Pretty good stuff huh? I sure think so. As I am now at my new residence, I have a new address for you to send mail (something I strongly suggest you do of course, I will happily return the correspondence):

Jessica Dillworth

El Porvenir, Atlatida

Barrio Nuevo

Honduras, Central America

These are for Kristin´s mom!! It´s so funny, lots of us have blogs, but some of us (I won´t mention any names Emily and Kristin) so I give them cameos in mine because their families read it. I love doing it!! Thanks for taking this journey with me, I appreciate you checking in. I am glad to be able to share this time in my life with you.

You know it´s funny, over the last year I have been pondering where I would be living in Honduras and for some reason I never imagined it would be right on the Caribbean, but it is! This picture is about a 5 minute walk from the mayor´s office where I´ll be working a lot. My new home is about 20 kilometers west of La Ceiba, a large port city on the north coast. I had the opportunity to visit El Porvenir for four days and I have to tell you, I am totally psyched to officially begin my service, which will be on September 27, 2008. One of my counterparts, the mayor of El Porvenir picked me up in Zarabanda and we made the 6 hour drive together. When he said we were getting close I looked around and it looked just like something out of the book Where the Wild Things Are with huge palms towering over us. Next I saw, oh I don’t know, about a billion pineapples. El Porvenir is home to Standard Fruit Company, you know as in a little company called Dole. Needless to say there are acres and acres of pineapple fields just waiting to be shipped to you guys in the states, as one Honduran explained it. I was not able to get a picture yet of the pineapple fields, but do not worry, I have two years to get some great shots. This company serves as means of employment for many of the people in my site which is wonderful. So we were getting even closer and my new friend pulled up to this little stand that looked like the other corn stands I had seen in Honduras where you can get a piece of corn on the cob, but there was another little treat available too. I think he called them fritas, which literally translates to fried, and that they were. It was like cornbread which is heavenly anyway, but then fried crispy. Hmm, hmmm this place just keeps getting better and better. Well then of course we had worked up quite a thirst, so what do you do when you are thirsty in Honduras, why you drink coconut milk of course, and yes, you do it straight out a coconut. After we drank the milk, which was deliciously refreshing, the women selling them chopped them open and handed us a bent butter knife to scoop out the meat. Now I have never had fresh coconut, not this fresh, so it was fun for me. The flesh is sort of the texture of the white of a hard boiled egg, but a little more firm and the taste is subtle but scrumptious. What a great start to my first days, its like he knew the way to my heart was through my stomach. Has someone from home been talking to him??? Here´s picture of the restaurant my mayor runs. I had an amazing lunch there on Saturday, fried fish, plantains and coleslaw.

Here is a picture of the inside of the alcaldia I will be working with. I went there and met all of the staff and talked at length with the Community Development person about some of the projects they are working on. I got to take a field trip and see one, it was a tilapia farm. The government had given Hondurans funds to build such projects, projects that will create income for impoverished areas. An engineer and a couple of other concerned parties went out to the foot of Pico Bonitio (an unbelievable mountain, yes this is to my south and the Caribbean Sea is to my north, my new home is nestled in the middle, how luck am I!!!!) where a huge pit had been dug and thousands of little guppies were feeding. I didn’t understand a lot of what was said, but the engineer was happy with the progress and would report good things to the government. These are the types of things I am going to be involved with, great stuff. The other person I will be working with is from Canada and she does a lot with kids and health in the community. She has a beautiful home on the beach where I can work, someone pinch me!

As for my third and final host family, they are lovely. My host mother is Maritza, her husband is Don Jose and they have three children living at home, Onoria, Sandy and Oswaldo. Like my host family in Zarabanda I am the first American they have ever hosted (geez that´s a lot of pressure to make us all look good!). They are kind and spend lots of time together which is nice and relaxing. Yesterday for example we sat out in the back of the house and watched as a women tried to get her disobedient pigs to go home with her, they did not want to cooperate. Eventually she got them to go, squealing the whole way but she got em. Onoria works at the alcaldia with me and Sandy and Oswaldo are students. Don Jose works for Standard Fruit Company. They are kind family who I am looking forward to getting to know more.

So what is next? I will continue training until September 26 at which time we will be sworn in as volunteers. From there we will all go to our respective sites for our service. Wow, I have already been here for more than 2 months, it´s hard to believe. Stay posted for more pictures of my site and host family, I wasn´t able to get many on my short visit. Below are some random pics to tide you over. Thanks for checking in with me, I miss you all and think of you often. I will get you my new address just as soon as I figure it out, until then feel free to continue sending letters to the address in the second entry of my blog.

Here we are the day we found out which sites we were going to. They had a big party for us, it was great! The next one is of fisherman on the Caribbean. There there´s the forest of La Tigra, a mountain we climbed and hiked through a couple weeks ago. The other group picture is us at a birthday party for 2 of the Muni D girls. Finally there is a picture of my friend Elizabeth who was my roommate the very first night we were in DC. She is from Nashville and we bonded immediately. Her site is in a pine forest so I can´t wait to visit here there.

Seeing how Honduras was the original Banana Republic, how could I not post a picture of me posing with a beautiful bunch. This is in Siguatapeque at a farm where we learned about sustainable farming. This farm was amazing because everything they did was integrated and nothing went to waste. They catch the rain water, purify some for drinking and use the rest for watering crops and feeding animals. They use the waste of the animals to enrich the soil for the crops (beans, vegetables, herbs and such). There were some sophisticated latrines and they showed us some planting techniques like rotating crops and using contour lines for irrigation. They demonstrated some pretty savvy farming techniques which will serve as a good base for us to take with us to our individuals sites and possibly apply.

This one is for you, Emilie´s mom! This is Emilie and I hanging out after training one day being silly. Her hair is super cute, but her bangs were getting quite long as you can see. She recently paid 10 Lempiras, or the equivalent of 50 cents to get her hair cut. The result…. as seen in the next picture, definitely worth 50 cents. Some say it looks like a wig, she thought maybe Ringo Starr or possibly the beginning stages of a mullet. Any way you slice it, it has created hours of entertainment for us at her expense, but she is such a good sport about it, after all, it is just hair, it will grow back. Some days my sides hurt from laughing with Emilie so much.

Only ten more days until we find out where we are going to be living for the next two years. Like most other things here, I am eerily calm about this. I figure wherever they send me I will be happy, find good work and get along with the people. I am hoping to be placed somewhere central in the country to be able to get to pretty much anywhere semi-easily. Stay tuned, the next time I blog it will be to reveal the name of my new home then you can Google it to see what it´s like. Thanks for following my story, I love sharing it with you.

My new home for the next 6 weeks is Cantarranas, a rather small pueblo a couple of hours from Tegucigalpa. Here I will do FBT (field-based training). What does that mean you might ask, well it means that our three groups have split up by project and me and my fellow Municipal Developers will get more in depth training on what we may actually be doing in our respective sights. Por ejemplo, oops, I mean for example, today we split up into 4 groups and walked around Cantarranas noting what we encountered, pulperias (little stores), churches, schools and other landmarks and businesses. Our entire group came together and created a map of our findings, a community map of Cantarranas. Here’s a picture of us putting it all together, quite a resourceful little crew we have here.

The only thing that would make this picture more Peace Corpsy would be if I was wearing my Tevas sandals right? Oh and maybe if I were planting some trees, but I think it does justice to what people think of when they picture a Peace Corps volunteer. Here it is, honest to God proof that I’m here in the mountains of Honduras fumbling through what might be the most pivotal journey of my life. You are all witnesses.

My new family for the next 6 weeks is very kind, my host mother is, once again, named Patricia and she has two children, Patricio who is 14 and Zasquia who is 18. I’m a big fan of carne asada, so when Patricia asked me if I liked it I was excited about dinner, though once the preparations began I wasn’t sure exactly what was happening. Pictured here are the boyfriend of Zasquia, Wally I think is his name, and his friend along with Patricia (and yes, she is holding a blow dryer) and Jose, Patricia’s grandson. So they started the fire with some wood and other chips of some sort, got it nice and piping hot and started in with the hair dryer, which I now understand worked as agent to blow air onto the coals, making them extremely hot. They added sugar onto the coals and laid the meat on the grill after the flames went down. Mmmm, mmm, muy delicioso (come on, all of you know what that means)!!

Alejandra and I made lasagna the other night, here is the fruit of our labor. It was pretty good, Javier had two portions, but he may have just been being polite. It was fun to show them something I know how to make after watching them make some great Honduran food for the past couple of weeks.

Mi familia, Javier, Patricia and Alejandra. I can´t tell you how much I really feel a part of their family. I hope to come back to visit them often while I´m here. They told me that I their home is my home during my entire service in their country.

This is a group of trainees that live by me and we walk home together. Starting from the left, Shannon, Emily, Daniel, Micheal, Kevin and Amanda.

When I visited a volunteer in Choluteca the town was in feria, which means a bunch of events take place, for instance rodeos. This "stadium" was built in a day just for this purpose. The hombres rode horses instead of bulls and it was pretty cool to watch.

Choluteca is pretty flat for the most part, but here´s a neat picture of a mountain nearby

Carmen (the volunteer I visited) and Casey a fellow trainee that visiting Carmen with me.

I think I should submit this one to national geographic if I do say so myself. I love this one.

This is our group (50) having breakfast our first morning in Honduras. There are three projects, mine which is Municipal Development, Child Development and Protected Areas Management.

So I got a little treat today and was able to get online for a little while. Training is chugging along. This weekend we go to live with a current volunteer for three days. I am going to the south to Choluteca with another trainee in my group. I am looking forward to the break and seeing what a real live volunteer lives like.

I would be lying if I said I didn´t have moments where I freak out a little, but the people here are wonderful so that makes this adjustment process a little easier. My family and I talked for hours last night, about real issues like immigration, the state of Honduras economically and the way we do things in the U.S. What an insightful conversation, I never would have guessed my Spanish was good enough to express myself on these topics, but I am surprising myself everyday here.

I am making my family an American meal tonight, lasagna! Don´t have ricotta cheese (at least at the market I went to) so I´ll let you know how that turns out.

July 12, 2008

Safe and sound. My first few days in Honduras have been a bit of a whirlwind, but we only had a half day today of Peace Corps activity so today and tomorrow I am recharging my batteries, figuratively and literally. We flew into San Pedro Sula on Wednesday without any problems and drove about 5 hours to Zarabanda, near Tegucigalpa, where our training center is. I met my wonderful new Honduran family, at least for 5 of my 11 weeks of training, on Friday. Patricia is the mother, Javier is the father and Alexandria is their adorable five year old daughter. So far, she has been the highlight of my time here. When we got to the house Alexandria stood at the door with her hand on the doorknob asking her mom, “Puedo? Puedo?” (Can I? Can I?), when Patricia told her Ok she opened the door and the room was decorated with balloons and streamers with a sign saying “Welcome Jessica”. Yup, happy tears definitely welled up in my eyes. Then last night Patricia told me when she put Alexandria down for bed that in her prayers she asked God to look over her mama, her papa and Jessica. Flattered is not even the word, she is so sweet, curious and pure, it’s so refreshing and heart-warming. My language is coming along better than I anticipated, that’s not to say there aren’t plenty of blank stares amongst me and my host family, but we are able to communicate quite a bit and I am learning a little more every day. This country is beyond beautiful. There is so much green and the mountainside views are breathtaking. The people are very receiving of us Peace Corps volunteers and the curiosity about one another is a two-way street. I look forward to building relationships and getting to know more, about everything. So far our training has been basic general information on Peace Corps policy, safety, etc. I should find out more about my specific project in a couple weeks. I will be in Zarabanda for another 2-3 weeks, then will do Field Based Training in another city for 6 weeks, then we will all return to Zarabanda for the last two weeks of training. We will be sworn in as official Peace Corps volunteers on September 26 and them be sent to our respective posts, which are still to be determined. Stay tuned…

Well, I made it to DC, met the others in my training group, and got some very basic information about my service in Honduras. We leave at 2:30 a.m. tomorrow to fly to Atlanta then to San Pedro Sula. From there we will take a 6 hour bus ride to Zarabanda, which is right outside of Tegucigalpa, where we will be training. It sounds like training will be quite tolling, but I am very much looking forward to diving in and learning everything I can to make my experience the best I can. I will not have internet access for the first 3 weeks, after that I will be transferred to another nearby city for technical training on my job and may have access depending on where I am. In the meantime, I can receive mail from now until September 26, 2008 at:

Jessica Dillworth

Voluntario de Cuerpo de Paz

Apartado Postal #3158

Tegucigalpa, Honduras

The next time you hear from me I should have lots more information to share with you. One exciting thing I learned today is that the city we are going to be training in, Zarabanda, is a new training city for the PC. This means that the families we stay with are housing American Peace Corps volunteers for the very first time. I am excited about this because this experience will be so new and fresh for both of us.

Welcome to my blog. Preparations for my departure to Honduras are well under way. I look forward to keeping you posted on my journey as a Peace Corps volunteer. Please copy this link http://www.unviajeahonduras.blogspot.com/ and save it as one of your favorites and visit whenever you like.

I am scheduled to leave for Washington D.C. on July 7 and, on July 9 I will travel with about 50 other volunteers to Honduras. For the first three months I am there I will receive language, cultural and job training. As most of you are aware, I am unsure of my technical accomodations in Honduras, so don't worry if this is the last you hear from me. Only kidding, I should have pretty regular access to a computer and hope to post as much as I can to keep everyone up to speed on this amazing adventure upon which I am about to embark. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of this life changing decision I have made, I truly appreciate the positive feedback I have received. I look forward to keeping in touch as often as possible.

¡Hasta luego!