I have made the very difficult decision to terminiate my Peace Corps service. I will be returning to the United States to begin a new life adventure on Wednesay, January 14th.

There were many factors going into this decision, however, the main reason I can't continue is that I'm not cut out for working for a bureaucratic government organization like Peace Corps. I no longer have the trust and patience needed to put my life and livelihood into their hands at this point in my life. Although I have become frustrated with the way things currently operate I still wish to clairfy that I am extremely grateful to the US Peace Corps for giving me this opportunity to serve my country and to serve Jamaica in the name of international peace and understanding for the past six months.

This journey has changed my life. It made me more aware of myself and my role in this world. It taught me that people are the same no matter where they are from, what language they speak, or what their customs are. People want the same fundmamental things: love, validation, and an oppurtunity for a happy and productive life. I learned that there is plenty of good work needing to be done on this planet, and I have met countless numbers of the inspirational people who are currently doing that work. I have grown to love this country and its culture, as well as all the people I have met and have shared my life with here. I am deeply saddened to leave because I truly feel that I still have much to give, much to offer, and much to learn. But I am starting to understand that sometimes life doesn't follow the rules you want it to follow. But I'm going to be just fine.

Thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me during this amazing time, and thank you to those who have helped to teach me some of life's hardest lessons. I am forever changed and I have everyone and everything to thank for that.

Onto the next great adventure! This will not be the last you hear from me! :-)

Take care and keep on loving,

Grace

There's a cockroach living on the bar of soap in my shower! Welcome home, Me!

Yes, I'm back in Jamaica! And what a whirlwind week it's been. I was in Michigan from the 22nd until the 30th, but I feel as though I've been gone much longer. It was a jampacked week.

Highlights include:

-Getting a haircut

-First Annual Titus Family Unfortunate Sweater Party (the pictures are just as scary as the title)

-Snow! Cold weather! Getting to wear sweaters!

-Giving and receiving heartfelt presents like pajamas, diaries, massages, TGIF gift cards that apparently can't be used and very old Red Stripe Beer posters with bathing suit models on them (I should mention that some of these gifts were actually in the "White Elephant" gift exchange portion of Christmas)

-Long talks with the people I love and learning life lessons from them

-Hot showers, nice toiletpaper, and washing my clothes in a washing machine

-Plain old spending time with my loved ones (that's the best!)

Thank you to everyone who made my Christmas a memorable and heartwarming experience. It was great to see you and hard to leave you! Love you all.

Jamaica wasted no time getting me readjusted. The minute I got off the plane I was faced with multiple hilarious and frustrating examples of the culture. Examples: viciously arguing with a taxi driver about his ridiculous prices; hopping on a beyond full minibus which turned out to be a "Boom Boom" bus, where they blast reggae and dancehall music and people just go nuts dancing and singing the whole time (my ears are still bleeding probably); another catfight on the bus; and finally, coming home to my bug-infested room and then the bar of soap incident. Now, I don't mind beatles, spiders, or even mosquitoes... but cockroaches... no no no. I never have gotten use to them. And finding one under a bar of soap while taking a glorious cold shower after a long day of exhausting travel was the last place I'd expect one. Uhhhhggg. Gross. But the US has gross things too, like coleslaw, deer hunting, and obession with accquiring more and more useless material goods. So potato, potahto. Anyhooooo.

I will update something more detailed when I have the energy, but for now I'll just say...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Love you, guys and hope the new year brings peace and many blessings!

I called my friend Stef Friday to see if I could come up that night to her house in the Blue Mountains and take a hike in the woods. “You see,” I explained, “I was suppose to go hike the Blue Mountain peak with a group of strangers, but they were 3 and a half hours late picking me up and also… unbeknownst to me they were also a group of 16 year old dancehall boys who were pathetically attempting to hit on me. So… I canceled and now I have nothing to do.”

She told me, “Sure! Come on up, it will be great to have you! We can hang out and go walk around in the woods all weekend. But there is one problem. I sprained my ankle two days ago-- But it’s not a big deal, come on up anyway!”

So, this little angel invites me into her home on short notice AND proceeds to take me on a 9 mile hike the next day in the Blue Mountains with her gimpy leg and all. Seriously, she’s a peach. The whole trip was perfection, starting with dinner at Chilitoes Friday night and ending with hopping in the back of the last pickup leaving Papine and watching the stars, the full moon, and the city lights of Kingston as we drove the windy road up into the mountains. We woke up the next morning at 5 and hiked up to Flagsted, enjoyed the sunrise cascading over the misty top of Blue Mountain peak, and returned to her place to eat, sunbathe, read, and watch movies for the rest of the weekend. So. Nice.

Stef is one of those amazing women you meet in life who are crazy-brilliant, humble, kind, positive, funny, and laid back. I can talk to her about anything, from philosophy of mind to family to Family Guy to love to cooking to ANYTHING! It was nothing short of wonderful spending time with her and getting back into nature where I feel I belong.

Highlights of the week:

-Spontaneous road trips and the freedom to hop on any crowded taxi or bus and just so somewhere, anywhere.

-Rewatching Monty Python's Holy Grail for the first time in many years... oh man.

-Reading books and thoughtfully discussing them with Stef. How often do we get to do that after reading really good books? Not often enough!

-Visiting Sovereign Mall in Kingston (the "big mall") and finding that it's just a big plaza with nothing in it but 5 or 6 of the same gift shop, a jewlery store specializing in cubic zirconia, and a shabby clothing store called "Di Gap." Jamaican version of the popular chain? Hmmmmmmm. Maybe!

-Getting through sevral emotionally intense and draining days without imploding. Miracle.

-Reading Mom's Thanksgiving card:-) Thanks, Mommy dearest.

-Having a young man on the street tell me, "I see that you're wearing a bandana. I'm also wearing a bandana!... but I'm in a gang." "Oh, that's lovely," I said. And as I'm walking away his friend pulls the best/worst pick up line I've ever heard: "Keep shoppin we yuh been shoppin, gyal. Yuh clothes fit yuh jos rait. Yuh look SO GUD! YES MON!" Keep in mind that I was wearing baggy jeans and an old t-shirt. So according to him I need to keep shopping at Goodwill.

-Baking deformed gingerbread men for my friends and neighbors for Christmas!

Here’s some pictures:

Walking the trail

A sign written by a coffee farmer to the jerk who is stealing his crop."Woe be unto you," it says, "Ye stop me bread! A begga ye wan me fi turn?" Meaning, "You are making me poor! Do you want me to become a begger?" It goes on to say that if he finds out who is stealing the beans he's going to publicly humiliate them (" Mi lif up ye skirt"). Whoa.

View from the top I

View from the top II

View from the top III

Stef's Mountain (her backyard)

Stef and her waterfall

A self-encouraging post-it note on my friend Stef's mirror

There’s an old slogan Peace Corps uses in its advertizing that reads “Peace Corps: The toughest job you’ll ever love.” To make light of the painfully slow pace of activity and frequent setbacks most volunteers experience, hilarious modifications to this legendary phrase have been made. I would like to share the acceptable ones with you. The most common one I hear is, “Peace Corps: The toughest job you’ll never do.” This one is popular with volunteers out in the bush who have vague job descriptions and difficulty finding consistent work to do. My favorite (and the one that resonates with me currently) is “Peace Corps: …The toughest job.” You know…still waiting for that “you’ll ever love” part.

Yes, I am experiencing another funk. But it’s ok. The Country Director of Peace Corps Jamaica told us in training that having extreme ups and downs is not only a normal part of this service, it means that you are doing something right. Though this may be so, it’s still really exhausting. I’m currently in the process of working out some major kinks in my job with my Peace Corps programme director, but my patience and temper are being tried BIG TIME. I remind myself that each bad day and each problem serves to teach me lessons in the long run and that by going through all of these insanely frustrating times makes me stronger. But still… it’s hard, nuh tru (isn’t it true)?

So yes, we volunteers may joke around about the problems of Peace Corps life and sound extremely negative at times, but deep down we all love so many things about this whole adventure and we know that just like broccoli, it might taste bad but it’s good for us. We may not always show our appreciation for Peace Corps staff and our Jamaican partners, but underneath our sarcasm and cynicism… we ARE grateful, and we wouldn’t have this experience any other way.

World AIDS Day Poster Competition WINNER! My counterpart doing a female condom demonstration at the library Me doing a female condom demonstration for... this guy

The World AIDS Day Parade!

My Peace Corps Family

This Thanksgiving was one of the best in my life. Not only did I have so much to be grateful for (the love of my family and friends, my health, a life full of vitality and an opportunity to serve others to name just a FEW), but I got to spend the day in Negril with my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers! I am absolutely privileged to call this group of people my other family. We have seen each other through times of joy and anguish, been supportive of each other in times of uncertainty, and celebrated each others’ success all along the way.

So here's what we did: Each person made a traditional American Thanksgiving dish and brought it to the table where we went around in a circle and shared what we were thankful for. Several times I was brought to tears by what some had said, and of course others lightened the mood with the usual warped Peace Corps Jamaica humor.

"I'm thankful to have a family like this on a day I thought I would be completely homesick," one volunteer said.

"I'm thankful I didn't get woken up by a !@#$ing rooster this morning," said another.

And the food, OH THE FOOD! There was turkey, tofurkey (tofu turkey which was so,so yummy), stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and of course PUMPKIN PIE!! Need I say more?

Monday, Decemeber 1st was World AIDS Day. The day I had been waiting for! As an HIV/AIDS Advisor down here with not much to do most of the time, this week was basically like my Christmas. Red Cross set up a display in the town library where we did HIV/STI sensitization sessions as well as condom demonstrations and Tuesday and Wednesday we did HIV testing at the local Bauxite (Alumina) Plant and at a teacher’s college. The turnout was tremendous! This year the number of people who got tested and counseled was DOUBLED. Young and old, every demographic you can think of was represented. It did my heart good to see that people are replacing fear with initiative and taking responsibility for their lives and the lives of their loved ones by getting this simple, free test.

The rest of the week I will be occupying my time doing more community HIV sensitization sessions and tutoring at the EEH school. I finally feel like I’m doing relevant work and it feels pretty darn good. I wish I could have work like this every day!

But not everything is rainbows and butterflies. There is a dark phenomenon occurring. It’s called the “Call Grace a Fatty” phenomenon. I cannot tell you the number of people that come up to me on a DAILY BASIS and tell me about how fat I’m getting.

“Yuh look gud, mon. Nice an fat.”

“Grace! Yuh got a gut!”

“Yuh lookin’ **motion with hands implying I am a wide load of some sort*** BIGGA’!” Ok, yes, so I have put on a few pounds. I know this! Can you blame me? My diet consists of only carbs and refined sugars and exercising after I get home from work is not a possibility, it’s too dangerous after dusk. Jamaicans honestly do mean the fat comments to be compliments. I have been told this time and time again. When I first got to Santa Cruz I had dropped down below my normal weight and I’ve been told (again, Jamaicans are brutally honest) that at that time I looked sick, sad, and maaga (skinny in a bad way—also, I should mention here that there is no word for ‘skinny in a good way’). Now I’m FAT! BIG! FLUFFY! They mean no harm, in fact, they mean the opposite… but still… ouch. Ya know?

More later. Take care until next time. Miss you and love you all dearly! Thanks for still reading!

Finally I found some pictures of St. Elizabeth, and more specifically Santa Cruz. Found these on Google Earth. The video is mine though and I recorded it last week. This is the view from The top of the Don Figuero mountains looking down on Santa Cruz. This is Santa Cruz Main Street, where all the excitement is.

I wish all the people of my town finally got that memo. I am not a missionary, I am not a Mormon, I am not a tourist. I'm Grace. Here to help. Nice to meet you!...Although in all fairness, being white, wearing a white button-down shirt and black pants and carrying around a messenger bag does kind of point me in the looking-Mormony direction.

Today I had my first GOOD DAY. I say "good day" not in the sense that it was utterly enjoyable and fun (which is was) but "good" in the sense that I actually felt like I made a difference somehow. Today I did a couple HIV/STI seminars to two groups of high school students, 200 students in total. I felt like I got through to them, like maybe I truly reached a few of them. They were very bright and articulate and for the most part were respectful and paid attention. Many of them asked questions and I did my best to answer them and I came away with a sense that what I did might have actually mattered in a meaningful way. I called my mom right afterward to tell her. I was on a cloud.

"Now that I had my first good day I can keep going knowing that in between the bad ones there are going to be amazing days like these," I said.

She was happy for me, I was happy for me.

So...I'm not saving the world, but at least now I can say I'm affecting it.

Here is what a typical run to the grocery store looks like:

I walk a mile into town, sweaty and anxious to just get my crap and go home. I'm stopped by a newspaper salesman, a young guy, who is saying something to get my attention. He looks vaugely familiar.

"PSSSS! Grace! I know you! Do you remember me?"

"No. Sorry."

"You wanna buy a newspaper?"

"No."

"Let me just show you the headline." (It says, 'Hangman Wanted'--basically about how parliment wants to re-institute a law that allows the hanging of convicted criminals)

"No thanks."

"Can I get your number?"

"No."

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"No."

"Will you buy me a cold Guiness from the store?

"No."

"A'rite, lata Grace!"

"...?"

The men here are relentless. I'm not being culterally insensitive, seriously, the Jamaican women can attest to this fact! The men here can be so shameless and annoying!

Anyway, more later. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! The holiday isn't observed here, so eat some turkey and cheesy potatoes in my honor! Love you all and hope you're all healthy and happy on this gobblegobble occaision! While you are all scraping ice off your cars I'll be busy sweating like usual!

Trust me I am NOT complaining!

I took this picture last week when I went in to do my first Life Skills lecture at the Boys School. This is the main (biggest) classroom. This young man showed up and hour early and worked diligently on his reading while waiting for the other students to arrive. Keep in mind, these young men do not have to come to school, they WANT to come to school. They want a better life.

This week I was in Ocho Rios for a Peace Corps Early Service Conference. This get together is held once volunteers have settled in and have identified the real challenges and promises of their assignments. Like pre-service training, it involved a lot of talking about one’s feelings, team building games, and exorbitant amounts of clapping for each other. I feel extremely fortunate that I’m involved in the Youth Sector of Peace Corps, because we especially like talking about our feelings and encouraging each other as well as participating in mass group hugs. The other sectors like Environment and Sanitation… not so much. Youth sector is the feely sector.

It was great to see everyone and hear what each of my fellow volunteers has been doing at their sites. Some of them are so well integrated into their communities and have already touched so many lives. I was truly inspired by what they have accomplished so far. Others, like me, are seeing slow but tangible progress and have been reminded to keep plugging away and working hard. It felt really good to get re-focused and re-committed to my goals… and also a hot shower didn’t hurt. Unfortunately, in the middle of the week-long conference I came down with a nasty stomach flu and threw up so much that I think I pulled the muscle of my tongue. I didn’t know that was even possible. It’s the second time in 4 months I’ve gotten some kind of bug but luckily it didn’t last more than a day and I recovered speedily.

I was happy to get home safe although I had quite the range of interactions with Jamaican men on this particular trip. I shared a crammed taxi ride with a lovely Rastafarian man who talked about inner peace. Then at the next taxi stop I had to physically fight off a man trying to wrap his arms around me while telling me how he’s going to make me his wife. Yeah. Nice. I remember back in training how they told the female volunteers that in order to be safe in this country we had to be extremely assertive. I was actually worried that I wouldn’t be able to do that… I was wrong. I’ve never had a problem using my voice or physical force to get a man to back off; it’s just a natural, necessary step you have to take to make sure you don’t get hurt here.

Anyway, enough about things that are probably making my mom worry. It’s Saturday, my favorite day besides Sunday! I love the weekends here at my little home. I just do the simplest, most mundane of tasks to fill my day. I hand wash my laundry and hang it to dry, sweep out my room, play guitar, swing on the swing, take a stroll, attempt to cook, whatever I want! There is no stress and there are no time constraints. Just me and my weekend.

If some of you are wondering why I haven’t called in a while it is because I did not buy any international phone minutes this month. I am going to be using Skype, the online chat/phone thingymabob to make contact with you all. So if you see me online, Skype me. I have my camera all hooked up so you can see me too!

Coming up this week for work I have a presentation on HIV/AIDS for a group of 100 high school and junior high students at a nearby school. I’m really excited about it but I have a lot of work to do still! Also, December 1st is World AIDS Day and to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS our office will be holding a poster competition among the schools, handing out red ribbons (6000 of them that I personally helped to make) and we will also be linking up with the Ministry of Health to do some activities for the community. This year I am really just assisting the branch with doing what they normally do and then hopefully next year I can bring some of my ideas to the table and make some new things happen.

They are already playing Christmas songs on the radio here. And luckily I haven’t gotten depressed when I hear, “Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays…” or “I’ll be home for Christmas…” because I will be home for a whole week in less than a month now! Make sure you put in your orders for what you want me to bring from Jamaica soon!

A girl from a church in Negril gave this to a volunteer friend of mine and I thought I’d share it with you:

It says, “In this time of war and uncertainty, when neighbors are enemies and danger lurks everywhere HOPE FOR PEACE is what gets me through the day. Thank you for everything you do.”

Isn’t that beautiful and kind? I have it on my wall and I look at it every day.

Love you all. Miss you all. ~~Gracie

Just found this on the internet and couldn't stop laughing, it is just too cool. Where was this resource during my language training???

By the way, I finally have internet in my home! Todat is a bizzare day, particularly because I have no running water, the electricity is barely hanging on, there are crazy tropical bugs all over my room, and my clothes are dirty and smelly... yet somehow I got this high-tech device hooked up in my place that let's me contact the rest of the world. Oh, globalization. So strange! But I'm happy to have it and I think it will really help cure some of the boredom I've been experiencing as of late.

Jamaicans are definitely rivited to this election and anxiously awaiting the results of tomorrow night! It seems like everywhere I go and everyone I talk to has America's 2008 Presidential Election on their mind. It is probably not surprising to hear that most Jamaicans (and by most I mean well over 90%) are in favor of Barak Obama becomming the next president of the United States. There are reggae songs on the radio and t-shirts on the streets supporting Obama.

Tomorrow night a few Peace Corps Volunteers and I are getting together to watch the results and (hopefully) celebrate, depending on who wins.

Make sure you get out there and vote. Your voice matters!

I don’t know, but I saw one running across my street yesterday morning. It scared the crap out of me. I thought it was some kind of strange weasel-ferret-beaver-rat-dog hybrid but when I consulted a neighbor about it he informed me that it was “just a mongoose.” Like it was no big deal. Frankly, I thought the mongoose was a made up mythical creature… until I saw one. The thing was huge! My Lonely Planet guide said that the mongooses (mongeese?) completely wiped out several species of poisonous snakes in Jamaica. Don’t mess with a mongoose.

If you were wondering, here is what a typical day would be like for me:

I awaken to my belligerent rooster enemy crowing at 6am, take a cold shower, dress to impress, and enjoy my morning coffee and cereal while watching Smile Jamaica (the Jamaican version of Good Morning America). I then make the mile-long journey to work and arrive a sweaty, hot mess. I have to sit in front of the fan for the first 30 minutes so that I can function. Work day activities range anywhere from sitting in the one-room office and answering phone calls and helping the needy acquire food/clothing/bedding, to attending meetings around the Parish of St. Elizabeth and collaborating with other non-profit agencies, to assisting my co-worker in putting on HIV education workshops for students in area schools. When work is over, I make the mile-long journey (this time uphill) back to my house, take another cold shower, and fix some dinner. At night I vacillate between playing guitar and reading, or listening to music and writing until I go to bed around 10pm. Thursday night is my favorite night because I get to watch The Office. Overall, it’s not a very exciting life, but I am extremely well-suited for it. Every once and awhile I’ll bust out the dominoes table and invite some of my Jamaican and/or PC friends over to play or watch a movie on my laptop. I have a loose routine for my days but I do change it up every once and while. And that’s just how I like it.

My nighttime activities are nothing like what they were in the states. Back home I could hop in the car and drive around, go out with friends, or just find a place to sit and be. In Jamaica, no matter how “safe” of a city you live in, it is not acceptable for a young woman to be out past dark alone, and I don’t even like to go out after dark even if I AM with people. Sadly, I have not seen the moon in many, many weeks. After 5pm I’m always in my house for the night. The good part about that is I have done more reading and writing and thinking than I ever have before due to the lack of distractions and nighttime activities.

Exciting news! Soon to be added to the mix of things I have going on at work will be tutoring part time for an Expanded Education Horizons (EEH) school for teenage boys with remedial math and literacy skills. I will also be doubling as a Life Skills teacher, which means I get to talk to the young men about all that fun stuff young men think about. My main goals will be to try to instill in them positive values, respect for themselves and others, self-esteem, job skills, and basic health education. I will also be trying to help the school increase its student enrollment and overall capacity for helping the youth population. The two other teachers at the school focus on teaching literacy and math skills so that these young men can pass the “HEART” test and be eligible for free college and technical training. The EEH school is very excited to have me and I’m equally excited to start helping them in any way I can. My first lecture is going to be on Ganja (marijuana) smoking, as most of these boys live up in the mountains where ganja is commonly grown and heavily consumed. The whole experience is going to be extremely challenging but hopefully beneficial and rewarding for everyone involved.

A lizard just fell from the ceiling onto the chair next to me. I’m not sure who was more scared, him or me.

More exciting news! I will be coming home for Christmas this year (if Peace Corps approves of my leave days)! My mom and brother surprised me by going in on a ticket for me to come home for 8 days around Christmas time! WOooO!!!!! Thank you Mom and Milke! You guys rock! I’ll let you know via email --when everything has been made official -- when I’ll be home.

These are my feet after walking home on a rainy day in flip flops. Ow.

Highlights of the week:

-Seeing a mongoose cross the road.

-Drinking a delicious smoothie made of paw-paw, guava, and some other indistinguishable tropical fruit. My very sweet landlady Miss ‘Dessa made it for me! Mmm.

-Signing up to get internet (Yes,that is the first step in a long process to getting internet. First you sign up. Then you wait. Then they decide if you can have it. Then you wait. Then they install it. That is, if they show up). If all goes well, I should hopefully have internet in my room in the next 2 to 3 weeks!

-Having my first boring weekend alone at my house. It was actually a really nice, normal feeling weekend. I did laundry, cleaned, watched movies, slept in, made calls home. Relaxing!

-Hearing that my amazing Great Aunt Catherine, who is 100 years young, reads my blog! Hi, Aunt Catherine! Thanks for reading! Hope you are well, I love you and miss you very much!

Until next time! Take care, stay healthy and happy.

Tami and Grace (It's Jamaican tradition to flour someone on their birthday!)

Wap’m? (What’s happenin’?) Figured it was about time to write another post to you all and let you know what I’ve been up to. Fi chru (it’s true).

Lately, I have been pretty unfocused on work and feeling like I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. This is a pretty common problem for Peace Corps Volunteers because we are often placed in job situations where we are left to figure out what to do and how to it for ourselves. As a 21 year old who has had hardly any life/work experience, this task of creating something out of nothing has been daunting and overwhelming at times. But hopefully that is about to change (or at least get a little better). My supervisor and I are figuring out a way for me to spend more time in the community and slightly less time in the office. I’m aiming to do some literacy tutoring for a group of 16-18 year olds who are at a grade level reading capacity and also do some life skills training with them. I also want to begin facilitating more HIV/AIDS sensitization sessions (giving information and having open discussions about HIV/AIDS) in school and community settings. It’s going to get a few more weeks to get my schedule figured out, but things are looking up. In the meantime I have been doing some reading up on topics like World AIDS Day and literacy tools/ teaching strategies to prepare for what will hopefully be in store for me soon.

Before I came to Jamaica, I thought my main challenges would be: Integration into the culture, isolation, loneliness, and harassment. Those did not turn out to be my main challenges AT ALL! The things I have been challenged by most have been: Communication breakdowns, loss of control and routines, and battling my own negativity. I have had a few rough weeks here and there and I have not always been easy on myself when I should have been, but in the end I always emerge from my short-stinted funks stronger and more dedicated to staying here and fighting the good fight.

But I have had help along the way. For example, this weekend I went to visit my best friend Tami who lives in Negril. First let me tell you a little bit about Tami because I will probably be referring to her in many future posts. Tami is a 24 year old social worker from Portland, Oregon who is beautiful, funny, and kind. She has packed so much life experience into her few years in this world and is an ever-inspiring young woman. We became friends almost immediately (probably because we share the same warped sense of humor) and have gone through the best and worst of times together since this whole adventure began. This weekend, after my particularly bad work week, Tami gave me a much-needed pep talk and wrote me a beautiful note. She told me to stay strong, to keep my faith in the world, and shared a quote from Barak Obama --which any of you can appreciate no matter what your political affiliation—that said, “Should you take the path of service, should you choose to take up one of these causes as your own, know that you will experience frustrations and failures. But I hope you’ll remember, during those times of doubt and frustration, that there is nothing niave about your impulse to change this world.”

Tami is an amazing friend and her friendship and support has brought light and hope to my whole experience here. Love you, Tami! Thanks for being my person and I’m proud that I am yours too!

Other than the usual ups and downs not too much else is new. Jamaica is still hot. I’m starting to cook ACTUAL meals for myself! They are mostly Jamaican foods like callilou (collard greens), rice and peas (rice and red beans), and cock soup (chicken soup). But every once in awhile I will cook spaghetti, an omelet, or a sandwich wrap of some kind. If you know me at all you know that I loathe cooking of any kind, so this new development is all very big news. Feel free to send me recipes, because I am running low on ideas and don’t have any cook books handy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Common nuisances:

Dogs engaging in some kind of deranged fight club outside my house at 3am every morning.

A blind (or just plain stupid) rooster cock-a-doodle-doo-ing at 1, 2,3,4,5,6, and 7am in every morning.

Fairly constant attention and verbal harassment from Jamaican men (and we are not talking Jamaica’s most eligible bachelors here).

At least twice daily electrical and water outages.

Bugs, bugs, and more bugs.

Common joys:

Coming home from a sweaty walk up the hill and jumping in a cold shower.

Having my own cute little space to call my own.

Encounters with kind strangers everywhere I go.

Talking walks in the cool morning and taking in the gorgeous scenery surrounding me.

Sipping blue mountain coffee while I read before work.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you all excited about the election? I sent my absentee ballot home with my mom for her to mail. I can’t wait to see how it all plays out. REMEMBER TO GET OUT AND VOTE! You have no excuse not to. It’s not like in Jamaica where there are gang shoot outs and murders on Election Day. Yeah. So get out there and have your say!

Likl mor (See you later),

GRACE

That was the first thing my mother said to me as she met me outside the Norman Manley International Airport.

Yes! She came to see me this week and it was fabulous!

She braved the journey from Detroit to Kingston on the 8th with a huge suitcase and backpack full of goodies for me, plus a gigantic box containing my guitar, paints, and wall posters, etc. The things our parents do for us! It was such a beautiful moment seeing her come through the airport doors smiling and in awe of the mountain scenery. It reminded me of myself when I first stepped foot outside of the airport almost 4 months ago, excited and nervous and flabbergasted by the gorgeous colors and sights of Jamaica.

It was such a pleasure to be mothered and spoiled by her again. We got to share some quiet, simple times together as well as laugh and have fun all week long. She checked out my new place and met my friends, took me shopping in the market for healthy foods, tried a patty and some Rastafarian food, treated me to home-cooked meals, helped me decorate my room, traveled on the ever death-enticing public transportation system, took a shot of tequila with me (I have proof, people), handled the sweltering heat like a trooper, relaxed on the beach, and showered me with love and support at a time when I really REALLY needed it. You could say that she packed in a lot this week. Having her here has been a joy and I’m really pained to see her go. But something tells me this won’t be the last time she visits Jamaica!

Here is a little reflection from her:

“As I prepare to go home I am finding myself planning how to return. It doesn’t do it justice to say that this landscape/seascape is beautiful. Perhaps the closest I could describe it is ‘Eden.’ I am pleased to find and report first hand that Grace is still the grounded and tenacious Grace we all know and love but with a larger aura of wisdom surrounding her. We at home are far removed from the challenges, sacrifice, and growth she has endured for the last six months of her life. But, I have seen with my own eyes that she is all in one piece and many people have accompanied her to this point with prayer, advice, inspiration, encouragement, and reality checks. She in turn has done the same for us and others in only the way she can do. I could list all the wonders I have experience here; sunsets on fire, bamboo-lined roads, Grace’s friends, limitless fruits, Miss ‘Dessa , Half Moon Beach, Red Stripe, vibrant flowers, and the Santa Cruz market. But my reason for this trip has been resolved. Grace is living day to day, for each day, just as she has been telling us. My lesson this week: she is even stronger and wiser than I last knew and I blessed to say that she is one of my awesome children. I love you Holly, Brad, Michael, Kristina, Thomas, and Grace.

Did I mention that it’s beautiful here? --Colleen”

Mom, I hope you had a great time here. I love you so much and thank you for everything!

**BIG UPS/SHOUT-OUTS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO SENT ME PRESENTS WITH MOM***:

The Pope Family: You have made this blog legitimate because you gave me Birkenstocks!! Thank you so much! Also, the cheese-its and chocolate were so delicious that I basically ate it all in one day. I will make sure the Peace Corps sends you my medical bills after I come out of my chocolate coma. Thank you thank you!!!

Holly: So many goodies I don’t know where to begin! Thank you so much for the shampoo, deodorant, loofa body wash. It has changed my showering experience. I actually look forward to getting into the cold water now! And the SPF 23492849023849028 will come in handy when I travel to the sun. Haha, kidding! I really will be using it, and I love that little travel sized one… but I know your secret… dun dun dun. The Now’n’Laters” have not yet melted and turned into “Now’s” and the skittles are going to get gone real quick. THANK You thank you THANK YOU!!!

Aunt Mary Pat: Oh my goodness. Your supply of Luna bars is keeping me very happy and healthy! They are so delicious and they are exactly what I needed!! Thank you, it was so thoughtful of you

Tom: My face is melted off. That’s how good the CD you made me was. Thanks, big bro, love you very much! I will have to make you a sweet reggae mix so you can blast it as you roll around PoHo. You will be the envy of everyone, I am sure of it.

Well, that's all for now. I will update you soon and let you know how I celebrated Hero's Day, a national holiday honoring the great leaders and change-makers of Jamaica. Everybody keep on keepin' on! Love ya!

**First, I just want to extend my deepest condolences for Rose, a PCV in Kingston, and her family who have just experienced a very tragic loss. I’m asking all of you to send her your most healing and heartfelt prayers to help her get through this difficult time.***

I have only been in Jamaica for three months, but I have been gaining more lifelong lessons with each passing day. I would like to share some of them with you today.

The first lesson I have learnt is that “learned” is spelt “learnt” and “spelled” is spelled “spelt” and instead of saying “…please send me something” you would say, “please sent me someting.” Do not mess this up or you will be taken for “wan fuul fuul” (a fool).

Slightly more profound lessons learnt include:

-Share. I never realized just how stingy I was until I came here. People I work and live with are constantly giving me food, advice, their time, and pretty much anything else I could ever need without expecting anything in return. Many Jamaicans are living in poverty, yet so many share what little they have and do it whole heartedly. It is an unspoken rule that you are to help out others when they are in need, even if you yourself are in need. I have met very few Americas who give like they do here and there is no excuse for it! This lesson on giving is one that will stay with me long after I leave.

-Be genuine. Cut the crap and be who you are. Jamaicans aren’t stupid, and they definitely aren’t down for the whole “act like you’re okay if you’re not okay” or asking people ‘How are you?’ if you really don’t care to know the real answer. Needless to say, my perma-smile does not always go over well in this country because it makes me look like I am either being fake or I am just plain clueless . In Jamrock it is best to be honest with others about your feelings because you can sure bet they will do the same with you.

-Look out for one another. Show real concern for the welfare of your family, friends, neighbors and they will do they same for you. Checking up on them, bringing soup to them if they are sick, calling to make sure they got home alright; these are all common practices to show how much you care. People here make little gestures towards their loved ones to make sure they are safe and sound and very much I like it.

-Laugh at yourself. If I got all hot and bothered every time someone told me I was too fat or too skinny or had ugly clothes or just plain didn’t fit in, I would have gone crazy already. Several times a day I am reminded of just how weird I am. But it’s ok! Instead of getting upset or self conscious I just appreciate peoples’ honesty and refuse to take their observations and opinions to heart. Again, this is a country where people tell it like it is. If they don’t like you, they will tell you. If they think you look weird, you will know it. It can be really refreshing to hear people speak so openly about things, but to be happy here I have definitely had to put aside my uppity American way of being constantly polite and politically correct and instead just accept the fact that yes, I am weird here and the way I look and act are totally hilarious in respect to the culture and I inspire a lot of criticism for it. Yes, I have made some changes to my dress and behavior to seem more “normal,” but deep down I will always be the crazy white girl who makes an embarrassing cultural faux pas here and there.

-Have patience. Have faith. Have fun. Have a positive attitude. And you’re all good in the hood.

Less profound lessons learnt include:

- Halls cough drops are considered candy here. At first I thought everyone had a cold, but it turns out people just think these are a really neat sweetie.

-There are many rules about underwear here. Women are never to wash their under garments with the rest of their clothes or in any type of sink or shower. It took me a good two months to figure out where exactly 1.5 million women are washing their underwear and I finally have an answer. They wash them in their special underwear washing basin that is mysteriously hidden somewhere around the house. I even have one. I could tell you where I keep it but I would have to kill you.

-It is sometimes acceptable to defecate in a shopping bag and throw the bag high into a nearby tree. This practice, known as kiting, still boggles my mind. I noticed that there were black bags hanging from the trees around my work and asked what they were. To my surprise, I learned that they were bags of poo. Yeah. I don’t stand under trees when it rains, I make sure to find other forms of shelter. Although someone did tell me not to knock it until I try it. I’ll pass.

Jamaica is not an easy place to live. You need to constantly be on the lookout for your own safety and practice some serious assertiveness, especially as a woman. Overall though, I really enjoy living here and living a slower and more people-oriented life.

This week has been a good one. I helped to lead a Peer Educator workshop for 10-12 year olds and I gave a little HIV/STI session for a group of women in a salon while they got their nails done. They both went over well! I also participated in a Red Cross fundraiser and had a friend come to visit from Anotto Bay.

I am now just preparing for my mom’s arrival (t-minus one hour!!!!!) Next time you hear from me it may just be a joint blog post from her and I, get ready!!

Hope you are all well. Miss you and love you!

This is my rug. It may not be my style, it may seem gawdy, and it may not match any other décor in my room… but it is MY rug. It is the first rug I have ever bought, for a place I am officially calling “home.” I moved into my new and permanent (for 2 years) place. It’s a self contained flat which I share with one other occupant and it is attached to the house of a completely lovely older woman whom I am positive that I already adore. It is a perfect fit for me. I am very, very happy. Crazy happy.

Speaking of crazy...

I had what you would call an “incident” this week. Peace Corps would refer to it technically as a “violent crime” but I want to immediately assure you that I am perfectly well and safe and taken care of. Basically, a mentally ill/drug addicted person made a death threat toward me and tried to enter the office that I work at while I was alone…through the window… which had a grill over it. Not sure how he thought he was going to pull that one off but he gave it a shot anyway (he gets an A for effort). I remember thinking, “Is this seriously happening to me right now!? This is freakin’ crazy, man!” The police and Peace Corps were notified right away and within 48 hours the man was taken into custody and hopefully will be receiving some help soon. Big Up to my SSC (she’s the person who looks after my safety and security issues) and my work supervisor for helping me out every step of the way and getting things taken care of for me! Thanks Ann! Thanks Mr. D!

You know… I definitely didn’t see that whole thing coming. I have to admit, it was really stressful and extremely ridiculous, but it all worked out in the end. Evriting irie. Lessons learned this week: 1) I am white. Sometimes I forget. White = looks different = sometimes I get unwanted attention. I am STILL learning how to deal with this is culturally appropriate ways. 2) Be nice to police here, even if you aren’t happy with them. Their job is difficult and rudeness does not inspire them to help you out. 3) Sometimes you just have to laugh at the crazy stuff that happens in life even if it scares you or frustrates you because sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps you from getting mad and giving up. 4) Invest in pepper spray. 5) Good friends are priceless sources of strength and love. 6) Wait long enough and something good will happen to end a streak of bad days. 7) Jamaican food and snacks are making me fat. Note to self: eating fried foods and whole sleeves of cookies everyday will cause weight gain. Eat accordingly.

I never really know what you guys want to read about on this blog, so I have an idea: Add a comment stating a topic you would like to know about and I will write about it in future blogs. Sound good?

Best wishes and good vibrations to all of you!

P.S. Happy 7th Anniversary to Holly & Brad and Happy Birthday to my big bro Mike, and my friends Kelly and Tami!! Hope everyone has fun celebrating! Take care--

(Falmouth, in the Parish of Trelawny)

(So, you may have noticed that I named this blog, “I bought a pair of Birkenstocks.” The funny part about that is… well, I never actually bought any. I scoured stores, thrift stores, and garage sales before I left but couldn’t find any that fit or that I could afford. I borrowed the ones in the picture from a friend just so I could somehow legitimize my blog’s name. I hope this will suffice. If not I suppose I will just have to switch my blog name to “I borrowed a pair of Birkenstocks.”)

Hello everyone! Hope this blog finds you all feeling well. Back in the states it must be getting cooler as autumn approaches. I bet even a few leaves have already begun to change color. Not here! Things are as hot as ever! And I mean HOT. I am almost completely use to the heat now, and I have adapted in many ways to accommodate the intense weather. For example, you cannot find me without my sweat rag. Most people carry a bandana or wash cloth with them as they go about their day and periodically wipe the waterfall of sweat from their faces. I do it now too. It always makes me feel better to see a Jamaican sweating profusely…it means I’m not just some sweaty foreigner who can’t hack the heat. Nope, we’re all sweaty here. And oohhh, the pit stains (still).

Work has been good. I have not yet led any HIV/AIDS sessions, but I have been spending a lot of my time helping the Disaster Chairman hand out food and toiletries to the needy. We are still discovering communities that have suffered losses from Gustav. Last week a Red Cross Volunteer offered to take me up into the mountains to assist him in delivering some food parcels to a marooned neighborhood. When I say marooned… I mean MAROONED. There was a lake where the roads to their homes use to be. The only way to get to them was by paddle boat (a paddle boat which could only be used with oars made of coconut tree palm leaves). I have never seen anything like what I have seen up in the mountains around Santa Cruz. If you want to know about real poverty, go to these areas. You will find people catching rain water to drink, children who can’t afford to go to school and who run around without shoes or proper clothing, whole families living off of rice and tomatoes for their one meal a day, people who don’t know their age or how to sign their names. It is truly terrible and humbling at the same time.

Home life is good as well, and I have been painting and reading voraciously. I am on my 9th book since I have been in Jamaica (I am currently reading “Invisible Man” and love it so far). I have an 8 year old host sister and at night I teach her to read and have her practice spelling and reading aloud. Some nights I give her lessons on how to use the computer and she is really catching on quickly. She is a lot of fun and she is so bright and eager to learn.

This weekend I headed up to Falmouth, a small town on the north coast of the island, where some Peace Corps Volunteers were participating in the Burwood Beach Volleyball Tournament. While there I got to relax on the beach, catch up with friends, meet current volunteers I hadn’t met before, and visit an attraction I’ve been waiting to see. The attraction is called, “Glistening waters” and it is a night boat tour of the nearby harbor where bioluminescent organisms are known to glow in the dark below the water’s surface. It was incredible! When agitated by movement, the teeny tiny organisms emit a phosphorescent glow (similar to the color of lightning bugs), and so when you jump in the water and swim around you are surrounded by light. It’s hard to explain, but trust me, if you ever come to the north side of Jamaica you should pay the $10 to do it!

The weekend was a nice change of pace, but as usual I am ready to get back to work this week and see if I can’t get some things in gear for the school year.

Highlights of the week:

-The discovery of an invention called VAPE, a mysterious but powerful mosquito-killing agent that probably causes all sorts of cancer. Despite its probable health risks, I am willing to take the chance considering its effectiveness. I literally watch mosquitoes drop dead mid-air when I plug this thing into the wall socket. Oh, sweet revenge. I may start growing an arm out of my head from it, but at least I will not have millions of annoying bug bites! Thank you VAPE!

-“Haberdasheries”: A fun word …and the cheapest place to shop for anything. It’s like a little shop packed full of all sorts of everythings for much less than at the supermarket! It only took me two months to realize these are everywhere and that I should be shopping at them.

-Making my Jamaican co-workers laugh (the real accomplishment being that they were laughing WITH me and not AT me). I feel like I am slowly making progress in understanding the humor, language, and culture.

-Hearing that my mom will be coming down to see me in October! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Watching a movie made by Mr. Jacob Stremers which included a full sunrise at Lakeside beach, cuddle time with my beloved kitty cat Hobbz, and a hilarious interview with my mom. Thank you Jake! I really, really loved it!

-Getting cards from my Aunt Cate and Aunt Lynn! Thank you both, they brightened my weekJ

Keep taking care and being well.

(Half Moon Beach, Negril)Happy Sunday to you all! I just spent a couple of days in Negril, one of the most laid-back beach cities in Jamaica. Known as the "King of Casual," Negril barely feels like a tourist town. It is simple and small with a 7 mile stretch of white beach and a few hotels and attractions. You are free to dress casually and it is never crowded. Basically it is nothing like the bigger resort cities like Ochi and Montego Bay. I stayed with my friends and fellow PCVs (Tami, Brian & Yvonne, Nick and Tom) and spent some much needed time visiting, eating, and relaxing. I even got a haircut courtesy of Yvonne! Saturday, Tami took us to Half Moon Beach where the sands are white, the water is clear, and the food is delicious (and 20% off for PCVs...nice!). We spent all day there soaking up the sun and snorkling, grabbed Burger King for dinner (score!) and headed up to the famous Rick's Cafe to watch an incredible sunset. There is also a 35foot diving cliff at Rick's that some people choose to jump off of into the gorgeous blue ocean below, but it is not for the faint of heart.

This short trip was a breath of fresh air and I am feeling re-energized and ready to get back to work tomorrow. Sorry that this post is so short and uneventful but I just wanted to take advantage of the internet while I have it.

Have a great week, everyone!

(My little set-up)

Per usual, this has been an enlightening week. Right now I am thoroughly enjoying the moment, typing on my laptop in front of a breezy window, listening to music and drinking some ice cold water. Truly, my life is about enjoying rich little moments like these and many others like it.

I should add that soon after I typed that I had to run to the restroom due to yet another episode of explosive *ahem* gastrointestinal upset. Wow. You would think that after two months of drinking the water here that my body would be use to it, but no… not at all. Yeah, sorry if that was too graphic but this is a travel blog, people. Let’s get real about this, I live in a third world country. You are going to hear a lot about my bowels. You will only get the truth from this girl; the harsh, stinky truth.

Fortunately, when I returned to Santa Cruz last Saturday I found that the town had not suffered any major damage from Hurricane Gustav. There were only a few roofs in need of repair and there was some flooding up in the mountains around us, but other than that everyone is safe and sound. The Red Cross tends to be very busy during hurricane season, and something tells me this one may be a doozey (there are already three more storms currently floating around in the ocean as we speak!). I have been helping the Red Cross distribute items like tarpaulins, clothes, food, and other home items to people who badly need them, and taking names of those who come in needing housing and home repair. I typically talk to about 10 to 15 people a day who are in need of something /anything due to storm damage or just pure poverty. The Red Cross does the best they can (and trust me, they help A LOT of people), but the reality is that resources are scarce, many people are in need, and corruption is a reality. I surprise myself daily with my own level of naiveté when it comes to the lack of honesty in others and my ignorance to how struggling nonprofit organizations are run. I am doing my best to gain as much street smarts as I can, and it seems like I am doing so with each little encounter. Who knew my suburban Michigan street smarts wouldn’t cut it here? Weird!

I definitely struggled to make it through this week. There were a couple of intense days where I didn't know if I could possibly go on... but I did. I was on survival mode, that is for SURE. Basically, I have found new temporary housing in town and am still on the lookout for a suitable place to stay for the next two years. Will and Andrea, an amazing married PCV couple living in Santa Cruz, deserve a huge BIG OP! for helping me tremendously in helping me find this housing. They are my gaurdian angels in Santa Cruz! Thank you all for your emails of concern and encouragement this week. I appreciate every single one!

But the week is over now, and I am looking forward to simply enjoying spending time in Negril with my dear friends, enjoying the sun and the company. The stress of the week is behind me now and I'm moving on.

This week has taught me how capable we are as human beings at taking on too much physically, mentally, and emotionally—more than we think we can, more than we think we should—and somehow…some way… we don’t crumble under the weight of it. Somehow we get through. It’s incredible. I am so glad to finally know that I am capable of that too. I am with the rest of you in the “I suffered through something extremely uncomfortable and seemingly impossible and made it out alive” catergory.

Well, I have a citronella candle burning and I’m covered in Deet but the skeeters are STILL biting (wish I were exaggerating), so I will be off for the night. Much, much love to all.

**Thank you everybody (especially Mom!) for your letters and packages! I have enjoyed them so much and truly appreciate all the thoughts and prayers you all have been sending my way. Thank you thank you thank you!**

Introducing the newest group of Peace Corps Jamaica Volunteers! Group 79!

(That's me on the very bottom right in the black dress. This photo was taken from Josh and Jesse's Blog)

Oh man, it is about to get crazy up in this blog. I have so much to write about! I don’t even know where to begin!

How about here: THE OLYMPICS! So, I am sure you have seen and heard that Jamaican sprinters cleaned up this year in Beijing by winning medals and breaking world records left and right. On a daily basis you could hear yelling, screaming, honking, and/or the banging of pots in the streets or in offices, stores, yam fields… basically everywhere. I have never seen anything like it. People really did have Olympic Fever. Even the lady who usually sells bras on the side of the road switched to selling Jamaican flags and she is now probably richer then a sultan because almost every single person I saw was either wearing one or had one tied to their car. The whole country was covered in smiles and wearing green, black, and yellow. The sense of victory and success was palpable. In a land where the only publicity is given to crime and corruption, it was definitely a welcome and celebrated time. People here are genuinely inspired and proud of themselves, their atlthete's, and their country. They even made a reggae song on the radio about the track stars and there has been word about maybe trying to create some kind of national holiday for them. Trust me, it's a big deal down here!

So… what makes Jamaicans so fast? Hmmm, wouldn't YOU like to know. Competitors say it must be the Jamaican genes, or top-notch training, or even performance enhancing drugs. However, Jamaicans know the REAL reason and they have been so kind as to share this top secret information with me. I might be putting myself in danger for exploiting this, but here I go. The reason Jamaicans are so fast can be linked directly to the liberal consumption of a common ground provision known as the CASSAVA. It's a fact.

There you have it. Let’s just hope the US or China doesn’t get a hold of this information.

This week I was back in Kingston for my final week of training. Yes, you heard me correctly, FINAL week of training. I am officially a Peace Corps Volunteer! We were put up in a very nice hotel and given time to study and prepare for final exam and our swearing in as volunteers. The swearing-in ceremony was held at the US Embassay and was formal and plain lovely. One of the volunteers, David Ingleman, gave a speech in Patois near the close of the cereomny and it was honestly one of the funniest things I have ever heard. It was--dare I say--genius. At one point he even gave a very informal congratulatory shout out (a slang term called a "Big Up") to the Ambassador herself. I nearly died. It was a wonderful day despite being cut a little short due to good ole Hurricane Gustav, who luckily wasn’t too bad to us. Gus did however cause enough of a problem that we had to stay an extra day in Kingston before being allowed to travel back to our sites. Let’s just hope he isn’t too harsh on the Gulf Coast. Pray, pray, pray!

So, I really feel that during these past two months I have gone through an astronomical life change. I am a different person altogether, but in the best possible way. I have been waiting for an experience to rip me out of the ground and fling me around, but I never thought I would have changed this much, this soon. The constant struggles and learning experiences have helped me grow stronger and more resilient with each passing day. Every moment is a lesson on self, friendship, fear, love, justice, sanity, and staying in the moment. At the end of the day I’m never sure whether I should collapse with exhaustion or dance in celebration… I guess I kind of exist somewhere in the middle of those two.

My reactions to stressful situations have also changed dramtically. One small example would be when today, after the minibus I was crammed into blew a tire in the middle of nowhere for the SECOND time in an hour (how is that even possible?), I simply walked into a gas station, bought a beef patty (meat filled pastry from heaven) and some Ting (grapefruit pop with more calories than a Big Mac), sat in the shade and enjoyed the breeze. It was a great time. The thought of getting upset or impatient never even crossed my mind. I have also been practicing saint-like patience when it comes to matters of ongoing housing adjustment difficulties. Needless to say, my mantra has gone from "Livin' the Dream" to "SERENITY NOW!" in the course of a week. But don't worry, it's all gravy, baby. And if it isn't... then it will be eventually.

Highlights from the past two weeks include:

-Spending a day at Treasure Beach and eating fresh fish and rice after an extremely rough week

-Seeing my fellow PCV’s again and having a great time with them all week. They are seriously the funniest people I have ever met and I adore them all. Every last one of them. Now that we have sworn in I will not be seeing most of them until sometime in November. Sad face.

-The most awkward handshake of my life at the worst possible moment with an extremely important person (this would only happen to me).

-The incredible synchronized swimming performances of the “Kingston Squealers.”

-Eating at Chilitoes. HANDS DOWN BEST JAMEXICAN RESTAURANT EVER. No words to describe the deliciousness. It is borderline TOO good.

-The creation of a drink named“Ging” and the dance move that accompanies it, The Galinga.

-Enjoying an average of 6 hot showers per day while back in Kingston

-The perpetually surprising public transportation system (who knew you could fit 21 people in a 12 seater bus?)

(Sign at Treasure Beach)

I love you and miss you all terribly! Hope you have a fantastic Labor Day Weekend! Oh, that reminds me... I was just telling my brother the other day to make sure you are all grateful that your labor day is a day of relaxation, unlike the Jamaican Labour Day which involves community members doing actual LABOR all day to fix up their neighborhoods. Although I think this Jamaican holiday is a fabulous idea, something tells me Americans won’t soon be putting down their beers and brats to plant some flowers anytime soon. Hey, at least consider it!

Peace~

The mosquitoes here are like little demon vampires. They are cruel and heartless and bloodsucking. I have literally woken myself up at night scratching patches of my skin with 5 to 10 fresh bites on one small area. The only bug spray I have is this "all natural" Peace Corps issued stuff that smells like pine and causes a strange burning sensation wherever I spray it. I don't think "all natural" stuff is suppose to burn, but what do I know anyway? One time I accidentally sprayed it in my eye and while I had my hands over my eyes thinking, "Please, dear God, don't let me be blinded by government issued bug spray," I started to feel myself getting bitten again so I proceeded to hop around and flail my limbs, blinded, screaming, "AAAGGGHHH!!!!" I wonder what that looked like from afar. Probably something like a possession. At one point, I started to walk around the house in a zig-zag fashion, adopting the same tactic people have used for running away from shooting gunmen. Not sure why I thought that would be effective. People do strange things in desperation.

But, other than being one gigantic mosquito bite my quality of life is pretty good. Today I ventured into Cockpit Country, the middle/western section of Jamaica known for its dense forests and rich history. The road to get there is one lane, in extremely poor condition, and there is nothing but a prayer between the car tire and the edge of a cliff with a few-hundred foot drop. Still, I was extremely excited to go and I would love to go again. It is the land of the Maroons, the escaped slaves that fought (and many times defeated) the British army with their guerilla war tactics in the 18th century. I visited a Peace Corps Volunteer who lives in the town of Accompong to check out a grant-sponsored beautification project he has been working on over the last year. This volunteer is also established this website (a really good one, might I add) to promote hiking related eco-tourism in the area, but there’s some great information on the history of Cockpit Country and beautiful photos on the site. Check it out! While you’re at it, book a tour! If hiking isn’t exactly your thing, then I suggest spending the day at the Appleton Rum Estates tour just down the road. I heard that they have over 30 types of rum at Appleton Estates. Yeah. You can’t try them all in one day. Well, I suppose you could if you really wanted... but I wouldn't suggest it. Ever.

A few Peace Corps Trainees have already dropped out and have gone back home to the US. This really saddens me because my group truly has become like my family, and each time I hear the news that another one has decided to go home it stings me right in the center of my heart...partly because I am going to miss them, and partly because I know how hard it must have been for them to "give up" on this experience. Empathetically, I do understand their reasons for leaving and believe that they were wholly justified in their decisions and I wish them nothing but pure happiness and more adventures in their futures. Selfishly, I just want everyone to stay here so that we can all fight our battles together and stay as an intact family. I know that this cannot be. Through the course of these next two years many volunteers will terminate their service early. This is a fact of Peace Corps life, and especially of Peace Corps Jamaica life, as our attrition rate is especially high. I know all this, but I still hope that the damage to our group is minimal and that I as an individual can adapt, survive, and maybe even thrive these next two full years.

This article about me appears on the St. Clair County Community College website. The woman who wrote it, Patti Samar, did an AMAZING job, and I appreciate the fact that she included relevant, accurate information. And the fact that she didn't misquote me was an added bonus! I was really pleased to read the article (although the picture of me that goes with it literally made me laugh aloud due to its high cheesiness factor) and hope that some of you back home get a chance to send Ms. Samar some props for a job very well done.I encourage all of you to visit some of the blogs of my fellow trainees currently in Jamaica. They can be found on the panel on the right side of this page. Enjoy! Love you all very much!

Wha gwaan (what’s going on), my loved ones! I have made it back to my site in Santa Cruz after my week of “processing” in Kingston. Processing Week is a five day training period where we trainees talked about our experiences so far-- you know-- housing, job sites, concerns, challenges, stories, feelings. There seemed to be an extra strong focus on feelings. I am pretty much done talking about my feelings forever now. We also participated in more language training, which I can never get enough of! I love Patois, and although I may not get many chances to speak it at home or work, I just speak it anyway…to myself. I mean, would you rather say “I should dress properly for class” or “Mi fi jres trash an redi fi di klaas, mon”? There’s no contest. Patois wins every time.

Wednesday was Independence Day here in Jamaica. We went to a huge event in the Kingston Stadium called “Gala” where we celebrated culture, food, music, and then we danced the night away alongside tens of thousands of Jamaicans. During the week I also got to spend some much needed time with friends; we cooked, we relaxed, we commiserated, we laughed. It was a good, good time.

But, after all of that I was ready to get back to Santa Cruz and get back to work. Right now I am basically establishing my project goals within the Red Cross, in addition to getting to know people here and finding out what they believe this community needs.

Let me take this time to shed some light on what my role is as a Peace Corps volunteer, because I’ve been running into a lot of misconceptions as to what exactly PCV’s do around the world. I don't blame people, it's kind of a vauge thing. In a nutshell, the Peace Corps is all about sustainable development and helping grassroots projects succeed in communities that seek PC assistance. PC has found that the best way volunteers can help communities help themselves is by being an agent in identifying needs and an assisting in generating lasting change. Areas of PC work in Jamaica include Environment, Health & Sanitation, and Youth (Literacy and HIV Education). I happen to be working in the Youth sector, where I will be doing HIV education among many other things. Others are helping to build greenhouses with farmers to generate income, some are teaching children to read and helping to establish libraries in schools, and others are working with health clinics and health departments to ensure there are educational sanitation sessions in place and clean water supplies available. Simply put, we are a diverse group of skilled people volunteering our time and energy to help communities generate the changes they aspire to achieve.

Highlights from this week:

-THERE IS INTERNET. IN MY ROOM. Need I say more? However, this is a bittersweet development because a part of me didn’t want or expect to be so accessible. Look at me complain about having internet in the Peace Corps. I am ridiculous.

-The insane cat fight between two women while on the bus back from Kingston. It was full on screaming and cursing like I have never heard before for 30 straight minutes. The bus driver pulled over and threatened to kick them off and it still didn’t stop them. Apparently, this is can be a fairly common occurrence on public transportation. Let me just say that honestly, the open expression of emotions here is pretty refreshing.

-Being looked out for by a complete stranger on the same bus, who made absolutely sure the driver stopped where I needed to be let off at. She was kind.

-The Great Flood: The apartment above me while I was in Kingston, which was inhabited by four mischievous male volunteers, was mysteriously flooded. There are theories. The damage was mild but severely hilarious.

-Learning from the incredible people I know as my fellow trainees.

-I left my clothes out to dry on the line in the backyard. If they are not stolen by the morning I will consider this another highlight of my week. Eep!

Sunday (July 27th) I returned from an all-inclusive resort on the north coast of the island where I participated in a three day Red Cross program to become certified to train “peer educators.” What’s a peer educator, you ask? Well, a peer educator is a young person age 10-19, who is nominated by a school or community to be a voice and resource for their peers, especially regarding the topics of safer sex and self-esteem. The Red Cross program, called “Together We Can”, is relatively new but certainly solid and is helping to equip young Jamaican men and women with the powerful tools of knowledge, confidence, and the duty to give back to their communities. The workshops we participated in last weekend were fabulous, and I am not just saying that because I am a person who really loves workshops (I’m a dork, I know). The activities we played and topics we covered were all relevant and interesting and I just ate it all up. Oh yeah, and the eating it all up didn’t stop there; I definitely ate enough FOOOOD to feed a small army. I initially felt really guilty about the idea of shamelessly indulging and stuffing my face for an entire weekend… until I stepped on the bathroom scale and found that I had lost almost 10lbs since my arrival here, the majority of which I lost in the past week and a half alone. So, yes, I did do some serious damage to the buffet this weekend, but I also nourished my body & soul too. So here’s to health… and to the occasional bit of hedonism.

Don’t worry, Mom. I am back to my normal weight already.

As ironic as it sounds, this past weekend in the fantasy/paradise-like place I felt more grounded than I have in quite a while. I allowed myself to regain some perspective and some of my sense of control. It helped that I was able to focus on learning, and it also helped a lot to laugh and cry with my sister over the phone… but....let’ be honest, the Italian food and free wine sure didn’t hurt either.

I keep reminding myself that God gives us what we are able to handle at any given time and not a thing more (although sometimes I feel like screaming “Are you KIDDING ME!!? I can’t deal with this!!! This is too much!!!”). Somehow we all seem to get through. It’s just what we do. We weather the storms and trust that we’ll see the sun again. And we always do.

Today I had a community welcoming ceremony. The event was put on by my supervisor and counterpart and was held in a local church hall. A little over thirty people came to show support (there were folks from Red Cross, the local HIV support group, Anglican and Catholic church leaders, and the Rotary Club to name a few), and the day was complete with a program, buffet, and guest speakers, including a keynote speech from the Director General of the Jamaican Red Cross! It was really touching to see how many people took the time out of their busy days to come out and show some love for the new girl in town. The outpouring of support, encouragement, and appreciation coming at me from all directions is something that will stay with me forever. My community made it very clear to me that I am wanted here, and that they are now considering me their family. It is such a very good feeling.

Tomorrow is Emancipation Day, a national holiday, and I am off to learn all I can about the day while attending the Bengigh agricultural festival, a huge 4H fair-like event. After that I will be headed back to Kingston for some briefing and debriefing and things of that nature.

I love you all and think of you fondly and often…ly.

Story of the day:

A friend of mine called me and was telling me how she was at the beach, watching the beautiful sunset as she waded in the warm turqoise water, and she thought to herself, "I am so lucky. What did I do to deserve a life like this? I am so blessed and my life is so amazing..." and then a jellyfish stung her lady parts.

I can't make these things up.

**First off: Thank you for the package, mom and dad! I was one of the first to receive one, and even though it cost you an arm and a leg it sure made my week! Chaffage free! Love the creative religious wrapping too!

Wow. Where to begin?

I am finally at my site; it is the city and home that I will be posted for the next two years. I am somewhat near Santa Cruz in the Parish of St. Elizabeth, a small but growing town known for its jaw-dropping mountain scenery, terrible traffic, and the hottest temperatures in Jamaica. It’s a cute little place where everybody seems to know everybody…well, except they don’t know me…yet.

Yesterday I met my supervisor and partner, two amazing women who work for the Jamaican Red Cross. I also had the opportunity to meet some higher ups in the JRC in Kingston and was delighted to hear about how I can hopefully be of service to them. My assignment has me doing lots of different things with the JRC, but my main focus is working with my counterparts to meet several goals related to HIV/AIDS programs in St. Elizabeth. I am EXTREMELY EXCITED and hope that we can all work together to make life for the people of St. Elizabeth a little healthier.

My host family and house are delightful, and I feel the potential for this new, strange place to become a home in time. I struggle almost every moment to grasp what others are saying to me, but already I am starting to understand more and more of the language. Patois is very expressive and has a life all its own, one which I am glad to learn but slow to catch onto. My host mother is being extremely patient with me, and I that hope my appreciation doesn't get lost in translation. I like to sit and think about how ridiculous I must look and sound to people here. There have been quite a few awkward instance already, and many more instances of people straight-up laughing at me, but I laugh right along with them. After all, it IS funny! Plus, I have to laugh. It gets me through the day! But overall, everyone has been lovely and welcoming.

Today I was suppose to (weather permitting) go to church with my host mother, but unfortunately she has a cold. I look forward to going next week though, because it’s a great way to meet people and become known in the community. I want to make all the friends and acquaintances I can! So far my exchanges with the people here have been very, very warm and comforting, and I get the feeling that my community will really look out for me, and me for them.

I may only have internet access periodically, because the closest place it is available is at the library, so I hope you can all understand that if/ when the blog slows down that it is just a matter of resources, not of negligence! Best case scenario is that I will have internet almost daily, if my computer-saavy host brother can find a way to hook it up for me using his cell phone as a wireless router (Don't ask, because I have NO idea how any of that is possible). We will see!

Highlights from the past week:

Going to a beach in Kingston and eating fresh snapper and lobster out of the bluest ocean I have ever seen.

My small group’s health training skit entitled “There’s A Fungus Among Us: Putting the Fun back in Fungus.” A short play about the perils of fungal infections performed in front of volunteers and officials alike. An instant hit.

Writing stories in Patois Language class, one of which included a story about Lilly and her hamster from Nevada.

Dressing up like Pam from the office at a costume party with my friend Jason, who was dressed as Jim. Amazing.

Hanging out with the kids at summer school (see picture above) during their field day.

Having the worst day of my life and surviving it (I was seriously ill, stressed out, and moving all on the same day--yikes! But I made it!)

Smiling and nodding A LOT because I can’t understand anybody yet.

Text messages of encouragement and frustrations from fellow Volunteers.

Sitting on the covered front porch of my new house and watching the rain pour down.

Feeling like I am growing every minute of every day...whether I mean to or not.

Talking to my family today!! YAAAAYYYY!!!

Learning about true friendship and community through the people I have met in this place and remembering to give with my whole heart without expectation.

Laughing so hard I cry and crying so hard I laugh on a regular basis:-)

I miss everybody back home, and I think about you all constantly. Love you! LOTS AND LOTS!

Let me introduce to you the amazing group of people I work and live with; Group 79!

Hey , everyone, hope you are all doing well! I’m still getting settled in here in Kingston. I’ll have about one more week here and then off to wherever my host family’s home is [ I will find out late next week where my post is]. Until then,I’ll be participating in more training sessions on anything and everything imaginable. Topics range from personal safety to current events and we have a guest speaker almost daily. I am REALLY enjoying learning about the culture and ways to become a part of my community and I think all these classes are really going to help. In language class we are learning about Patwa grammar and pronunciation which is going along fine, although I am in no way close to being fluent. Outside class we are exploring the neighborhood and getting to know each other by hanging out on the stoops and playing games of Ultimate Frisbee until nightfall.

Highlights from this week include:

Waking up to find that ants had completely swarmed and eaten my zinc lozenges (my greatest tool against the common cold) and screaming “Hey! Those aren’t yours! Get off my zinc, get off my zinc!” and probably waking up my sleeping roommates.

Trying Blue Mountain coffee.

Experiencing a van ride through the mountains (which requires going as fast as the van allows while whipping around 90 degree turns on the edges of cliffs).

Doing my laundry by hand in a basin with the mountains in the distance, and reading a book under a mango tree while waiting for my clothes to dry on the line.

The field trip to a local summer camp that a current PC Volunteer helped to establish, and dancing and playing with the kids (I consider myself fortunate that we took this particular fieldtrip, as opposed to another group who had to attend long lectures and visit a sanitation plant…that was on fire…stinky).

Three marriage proposals by local men, one of which included a serenade and another that included a love letter.

Spending much needed down time with my new friends when we can.

Well, I have a meeting in a little while with my Associate Peace Corps Director (APCD) about my progress here as a trainee. I hope this blog finds you all well and fine. Take care of yourselves!!

P.S. I posted a photo album on Facebook. You can see it here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2332742&id=48901049

I’m sitting in a fold up chair on top of a small dirt hill outside typing this on my laptop. I can’t make this up.

I need to be somewhat quick in this because I don’t have too much free time yet, but I wanted to let you all know that I did get a cell phone (see side panel) and everything has been great here. They feed us amazing food and give us good training, and I am a happy girl.

Sweaty, but happy. Speaking of sweaty…

Mom, you were right, I should have bought the Gold Bond. That’s all I’m gunna say. Chaffage.

Oh and pit stains. Ohhhhhh, the pit stains.

I am learning Patois and it is such a cool language! I can say some common greetings, such as “Whaa gwaan?” (what’s going on) and “Glad fi si unu” (good to see you). The Jamaican people are friendly, funny, welcoming, and proud. The land is breathtakingly beautiful and the fruit…UNBELIEVABLE. So good. Today I ate some Mango from the mango tree outside my room and some Naseberries, Sour Sop, and Guineps (I guess kind of like a small green grape-sized shell that your crack open and you suck on the pink colored melon-like fruit inside…?).

I hope all of you are having a great fourth of July. I am thinking of you all! I am glad to be serving in the Peace Corps on our Independence Day!

More later on this week, but take care until then!

Love you!

P.S. Mom, I got your letter with the quotes, you made me cry happy tears! Thank you so much. MUAHHH!

Blog—Thursday July 3, 2008 9:45AM

Where do I begin? The last two days I’ve been in Miami participating in “Staging,” which is where we finish up any paperwork and talk about policies, itineraries, and ooey-gooey things like our feelings, anxieties, concerns, aspirations, and excitement. It was a fun and enlightening experience. The Peace Corps (PC) staff did an excellent job with the event, and I got to meet and get to know the other volunteers who, incidentally, are all amazing people! There are so many different backgrounds, educations, locations, and personalities represented by this group and I already know we will do great things! I’ve already started to form friendships with people and it’s almost freakish how much we all have in common.

Next is training! Training is an 8 week program and afterward we take some exams and swear in as volunteers on August 28th.

I’m in the airport right now (I’m typing this on Word and then when I get internet I’ll post it up), ready to depart for Kingston, where I will be for the next two weeks. There we will take classes and go over policies, and continue to get a feel for what we will be doing (if you haven’t already gathered, I really don’t have any specifics on my job description, nor does anyone else at this point). By the second or third week I will know where I will be posted, so I will let you know! Week three and on it will be a series of going back and forth between my assigned city (and living with a host family) and local training classes. We also head back to Kingston during training to debrief and make adjustments if needed. After swearing in as a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV), we will head back to our post and start our work!

Specifics are rare at this point because it’s only the second day, but I thought I’d update you guys to let you know where(ish) I’d be during the next two months. I’ve been told that during training we will have the least amount of communication with family and friends… at least more so than any other time in our service… and basically it’s because we will be SO BUSY and we will have limited access to internet, phones, things like that. Feel free to send letters, emails, etc. my way but please don’t be offended if I don’t get back to you for awhile! Doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you all:-)

Highlights Included:Travel nirvana (plane on time, all baggage accounted for, arrived to staging on time, overall smoothness)Blood Caffeine Content (BCC)of .50% for 48 straight hoursFinding out that I am NOT the youngest volunteer… I am the second youngest. Phew!Staying in a FAAAABULOUS hotel and pretending that I’m not actually leaving for a boiling hot, humid, crowded dorm room in Kingston with no air conditioning in less than 2 days.Reading the Times Herald article claim that out of the 8,000 PCV’s serving, “3,500” are in Jamaica. Pretty sure they didn’t check that little tidbit of info. Mike and K calling me last night! (while I was trying to avert a crisis)

I can’t wait for all that is to come—the good, the bad, and the pit stains.

Ohhhhhh, the pit stains.

Love you guys!