while I typically open my blog with an apology and an explanation of my what is now becoming monthly updates, I've decided that monthly is appropriate since at the 18 month mark of my departure from Seattle for Peace Corps, life here feels more comfortable than life did during my short visit home in August. Strange? Alarming? Feelings of complacency? True story, I've noticed how little the way of life here doesn't make me raise an eyebrow these last few months.

The month has been busy, mostly due to travels for a multitude of reasons. Early in the month was Nar Bayramı, which is a pomegranate festival in a rayon called Göyçay in the middle of Azerbaijan known for its awesome nar growing. Narfest reminded me a lot of a typical street festival in America – there was a main stage with a concert planned for the evening, smaller stages with local children performing dances or recital-esque music numbers, little munchkins in pomegranate costumes, a local man who was doing a tight rope act (which included a scooting seat on the line!) and lots and lots of pomegranate anything you can think of. PCVs looooove FREE pomegranate juice! Since there was a fair number of us there for Narfest, us being foreigners who oddly spoke Azeri were given celebrity status and were being followed by flocks of children and sometimes Azeri men. It was definitely overwhelming giving the “I'm an American who lives here to help the Azeri people” speech about 25x though some of the kids really were sweet, trying to speak in English and wanting pictures with us.

The following week had me in Şəki where I presented for a friend's organization. My fellow Asian-American sister Dwight works for an organization that does a lot of youth-oriented work so that includes exposing them to different cultures, lifestyles or even waste management practices like composting. She told me to present on something that I'm passionate about so I chose to present on Hip Hop culture, which I angled as a culture and means of self-expression. While attendance wasn't as high as I had hoped, the kids seemed like they were genuinely interested in learning about hip hop and I even got some of them learning a very basic 3-step/6-step footwork of breaking aka breakdancing/bboying/bgirling.

Other miscellaneous bits: I'm soon to be celebrating my 2nd birthday in country, one that officially announces I'm in the 2nd half of my 20s. School is going well, I've been working mostly with younger/newer teachers at my school who don't speak English all too well at the present moment but I'm hoping that this school year with me will improve that along with new ways of teaching and making learning fun. I'm working on bringing an organization called AzETA (Azerbaijan English Teachers Association) to my town and hopefully that will improve the quality of English language instruction, had been busy busy busy with helping locals in Siyezen with applications for study abroad programs in America, finally tracking down doctors and other people in town to hopefully begin a HIV/AIDs education awareness project. I was recently informed that in my TINY rayon that is populated with under 35,000 people (there were more people than that who attended my university!) - 10,000 in the town center there are 13 cases of infection with the HIV virus, and this is only with people who have been tested which is at best 20% of the population! I'm no doctor but that statistic seems a little bit high, even more unsettling is the fact that many people don't get tested nor do they have much education about HIV/AIDs at all. Other than that? I find myself daydreaming a lot of life after service, usually leaves me with lots of hope, excitement and anxiety to have to readjust to a lifestyle so different from the one I'm currently living.

addendum: It feels really good to be able to say that I've been laughing, smiling and enjoying myself more – be it with Azeris in my community or meet on my travels or my time with close friends. I'd been experiencing what I call “the dark side of service” for the last few months and hopefully it is all behind me for good considering the number of months remaining of service is now in the single (!!!) digit count.

just cuz I'm lazy & it's concise. ten list time!

1. AZ6 has arrived. They're still under lock and key as they're in the midst of their training. I came in for their first all sector training days and tethered between awkwardness over new Americans and talking to the point of exhaustion. I like their energy and curious how their presence will play out in the social dynamics with current volunteers. I hosted an AZ6 visitor for a few days. Lots of good conversation, laughs and food. Word to fellow Palin dismayer from Alaska, Loki.

2. FLEX. I started a study group that met everyday for the 2-3 weeks before the test date October 18 in Baku. Talk about nerve wracking. FLEX is a program administered by IREX (paid for by the American government) that is a leadership study abroad for former Soviet republic HS students. Highly competitive, and with good reason. It's a rare opportunity to many kids who couldn't otherwise manage a study abroad to understand a world bigger than where they call home. I've met some FLEX alumni and they really are changed after a year of living in America. They're hopeful, optimistic, empowered and confident in themselves. Now that our study period is done, I've used the relationships I've built with the kids to segue into a computer class and other community development ideas which I explained they ought to volunteer to do to make Siyezen a better place, since Siyezen is their home after all and me, being a foreigner should not be doing more for a place that belongs to them.

3. Will "Zilla" Karrow, my beloved sitemate is returning to the States for good for family reasons. I'm super supportive, but also very sad to be losing someone I'm so close to. It will be a cold winter indeed without his marvelous gas heater and ability to draw me out of my darker moods and laugh at his ridiculousness.

4. My hair. Cut short. I've been wanting short hair for years, just never had the gumption to do it. Add a few glasses of Jim Beam during our holiday week and a pair of scissors, a girl is bold enough to do anything. Well I only got as far as my bangs before being intervened by fellow AZ5 buddy Matt. The rest was done by good friend Kelly Van Leeuwan's host mom/aunt from PST. My hair makes me feel something between a Vietnamese Velma from Scooby Doo & Katie Holmes (only without the scientologist husband)

5. COLD. It's noticeably colder this year than it was this time last year. It was already trying to snow in Siyezen the other day. Which means I am going to be freezing all winter with no heat in my room! gah!

6. Classes. I'm working with all new teachers this year since my Azeri is better and I found I'd rather work with young kids and raise their level of enthusiasm for learning, which is easier than re-engaging students who have been disengaged for years. There's a tendency of teachers to teach only to the strong students, something I've been trying to change by example and explaining that the class belongs to all the students - not just the ones who actually do their homework.

7. Skype! oh my god. Why I didn't sign up for it sooner, I have no idea. Free way to chat for hours with my best friends at home? Priceless. I hold it as one of the reasons responsible for my lightened demeanor of late. Less scowling=win.

8. Scrabble cannot be beaten with a stick.

9. Colorado. I decided this time last year that this time next year I'll be continuing to follow my dreams and be living on a mountain at some resort for the winter season. Ski bum, well snowboard bum really. Should be glorious. I've been looking at resorts with employee housing options, etc. Think I got a home mountain in mind.

10. Life. 2nd year thusfar is interesting. Although I've become less social and more surly & hermit-like, I can see how it's the easier year that passes even faster than the first one. People shouldn't be fooled by my moods or blunt way of phrasing things, but the fact of the matter is I'm still here despite my reluctance to admit that Azerbaijan is quite possibly the best place for me to be at this current moment in my life even though there are things that "challenge" and frustrate me with what is now a finite amount of patience. The number of months left for my service is falling to single digits which feels strange considering how much the notion of a 2 year commitment scared/s me.

Wow. Less than a week now until the 1 year anniversary of being a PCV. The reality of the 4s leaving this coming week feels less abstract than the fact that my group is entering its 2nd year of service. I still wake up sometimes and have the strange sensation that I'm not quite in Kansas, well Seattle, anymore.

My regular blog readers know that I was recently in Seattle for a visit home. Excuse me while I enter unfamiliar territory for this blog, a foray into my own personal feelings about my being here in Azerbaijan thusfar. There are a million different reasons to join Peace Corps and the majority of us join for a mixture of selfish and altruistic motives. Allow me to reveal one of my more selfish ones.

I was afraid my life was beginning to stagnant back in Seattle. All the signs were there and even when I'd try to break cycles, there was always something or someone who'd manage to draw me back in. I knew it was time to get out of Seattle, a place I adored, loved and was loved. By my last birthday back in the States (gosh, almost 2 years ago now), after the long Thanksgiving weekend of partying hard, I came upon a few realizations. The biggest of which was that it was reaching utmost importance I begin putting things into action to move onto the next part of my life which was a result of me deciding I was no longer a kid and starting to get too old to have been living my life the way I had. I had to get out.

Between Thanksgiving and my 24th birthday I'd set up a 3 tiered solution to my need to leave. By Labor Day weekend of 2007 I had resolved to no longer reside in Seattle because I'd a) be serving in the Peace Corps; b) be teaching English abroad in someplace like Korea, Taiwan, Spain, etc.; or c) have packed up and moved to either San Francisco or Chicago (a city I'd never been to but sounded interesting). The most lofty and ambitious of these options worked out as you all know.

When I left in June 2007, I knew I was signing up for all sorts of unforseeable challenges. One that has most recently focused into view is leaving home indefinitely for the first time. Up until I joined Peace Corps, I'd never been so faraway from my family for so long without knowing when I'd be returning. Even during my study abroad during college, I still had family nearby in a culture that I could make a lot more sense of easily and it was only for a few short months. I left at the end of summer and was home in time for Thanksgiving. The time I spent away nothing changed aside from the fact that my then 4 year old baby brother who only spoke Vietnamese when I left now only spoke English (still true) when I arrived home.

This time I left at the beginning of one summer and came home for a short while towards the end of the following one. About 14 months by my count - and things have changed. I no longer had a room at my parents house. My things were scattered in random storage places in boxes though. There was rampant suburbanization in the sleepy lakeside neighborhood where the folks live, cookie cutter shopping complex although the Seahawks training facility nearby is pretty neat. My old stomping ground of the Pike/Pine corridor on Capitol Hill has mostly died down. I went to an old haunt and was terribly surprised to find no wait to get in or for a drink.

My younger brother is doing quite well these days, which I'm super proud of!! Most my friends are doing better for themselves as well, which again, I'm genuinely quite happy for them. It was strange talking to them, listening to their lives which I've been absent from for the last year. I thought going home would be like reading a favorite and well-loved book, being able to pick it up anywhere knowing where your place is exactly and knowing...well just knowing how everything fit in together. I didn't feel that. As much as I love everyone and know that it's reciprocated - I felt out of place in a big way. I found myself oddly eager to "get back to my life in Azerbaijan" even though I haven't been the happiest of campers in my time thusfar here.

In the winding down of my days home, I realized that I was stuck once more in a weird "in-between" state of my life. One part remembering the great life I had, stuck in the past more or less that I was trying to move onto the next part of my life from and one part in Azerbaijan, knowing that this will eventually set me on a path to (more) adventure-seeking and dream-chasing, however they'll manifest themselves in my future. I've asked myself on many a frustrated day of service, what in all that is holy inspired me to leave the great things I had going for me for what I'm currently living? Yet being "home" made me realize how much I can't go back to what life was.

I made the choice to leave and seeing life as it went on without me back in the States has enabled me to quit dragging my feet about what I left (or at the least, do it a few iotas less) and look forward to what there is yet to come for me, whatever I can dream or have the good fortune of stumbling upon. Dealing with daily discomfort has oddly enough, become comfortable for me. Knowing that this 2nd year for which I have a ton of project ideas (hopefully a few will actually get executed) is essentially a 12 month "transitional/waiting period" is a strange sort of exciting. Had I never bit the bullet and said farewell to home, I would've never had this opportunity to be doing what I'm doing or learn what I'm learning. In conclusion, I end this entry with two words, what's next?

Whoa. More or less forgot that I had a blog, sorry folks! What can I say about the last two months? A slow as molasses pace segued into something where I've barely had time to breathe let alone keep up with blogging & emails. June somehow became really busy, between a HIV/AIDS workshop, playing softball with Azeri kids and wrap-up of GLOW (girls leading our world, aka the girls leadership camping I've been busting my butt for the last few months) planning and actually having GLOW! It didn't stop there, I got home from GLOW on Independence Day aka 4th of July where I joined some nearby PCVs for a very American style grilling of burgers and beer imbibing. Returning home, I had half a day before I departed for Lenkaran, furthest city in southern Azerbaijan, near Iran for another camp run by PCV Jane Flegal. She somehow got the crazy idea to do a month long day camp, with a different theme each week. My week was English language week, to be followed by Arts & Crafts week, Sports & Games week and wrapping up with Drama week. I admire her moxie in taking on such a huge endeavor, certainly won't be catchign me doing anything similar! I value the limited sanity I have out here (the scorching Azeri sun bakes away the rest, weather of late is close to triple digit farenheit....and it's pretty dang relentless).

A bit more in depth: GLOW. Again, stands for Girls Leading Our World - I decided to sign on back in Februrary and took on the finance/fundraising bit since I know nothing formally about fundraising and figured it'd be an opportunity to learn a skill I can hopefully take back with me to America. Fundraising in a single adjective? DIFFICULT. I spent a lot of time making contacts in Baku, it was a bit exhaustive and given that things didn't quite turn out the way I would've liked for them to - I definitely learned a lot about how to do things differently for the coming year in terms of building a network/contact list and then asking them for donations. Though my role was more on the finance/fundraising side, I ended up doing a lot of everything else to make the camp happen. The camp itself was a tiring, but fun week. The intensity of the girls was something to behold, more or less what I was needing at a vital point of service to give me a bit of faith in the development work I'm hoping to achieve in my remaining 14ish months out here. These girls gave me hope about the future of Azerbaijan. I just hope that their voices remain strong and don't go the way a female voice typically does as she steps into the gender role Azerbaijani society assigns for its women.

Lenkaran Day Camp: Jane asked me to come down and I agreed, not knowing when it'd be. (back to back camps not quite my idea of an ideal work schedule) But the kids needed some English teachers so there I was, alongside a few other PCVs who had also come for a week in Lenkaran's hot, mosquito ridden weather. I decided to teach the 5th and 6th form kids, just to see what it'd be like since this previous school year I taught older students (10th & 11th form mostly). The kids were precious! A bit chatty, but that was easily resolved through some mixed gender assigned seating which the kids fought for about 20 minutes since they're accustomed to self segregating according to gender. But I explained that this was a "pretend America classroom" and that boys and girls sat next to each other in America with no problems, the kids filed into class the next day without a word into their assigned seats. I was sad to leave at the end of the week, I was starting to get attached to the kids. I made them form lines for just about everything possible since lines don't exist here, trying to give them a sense of what order and fairness is. Anyone caught cutting was sent to the very back of lines for games, thankfully also enforced by the kids line cutters were cheating.

I came back to site to host a language workshop with some nearby PCVs. It's something quite miraculous to see how all of our Azeri language abilities has come in the last year. I didn't think I'd ever quite understand or get a grasp on the language, and although I am nowhere near fluency, I can successfully communicate most things I need to in Azeri - along with new phrases of how to tell off someone who rightfully deserves it. I'm quite a fan of the phrase "may Allah destroy your house" Though I'm a bit hesitant to use those phrases yet at my site being a teacher. The only kicker about that is that as my community was becoming accustomed to the "chinese girl who doesn't sell anything but claims to be an American and English teacher" we suddenly have an influx of guest workers doing highway infrastructure work in town who have no idea who I am or what I do. Being harrassed for being Asian was finally going down only to have it kicked back up and amplified when coupled with being harrassed for also being a woman. These guest workers are the equivalent of the leering construction worker stereotype we have in America. I have to play tricks on myself to calm the blood boiling inside me when the objectification occurs (and usually unchecked and unreprimanded, per local acceptable male behavior customs) and I want to scream obscenities at them but you win some, you lose some I guess.

It's hot once more in Azerbaijan. And I mean uncomfortably hot, day and night. I think the temperature is a minimum of 35 or 36 degrees celsius, which easily translates into high 90s farenheit if not more. My home's vanya aka shower room is currently under renovation so I can't even find refuge in a cold shower from this unforgiving heat. The only comfort I have is that I'll be home in America in less than 20 days for a (too) short visit. God how I miss the lovely Pacific Northwest and our summers. I've been making lists of things I must do and eat while I'm home. You can bet it's going to include all manner of delicious Vietnamese foods, top shelf spirits, running through sprinklers with my best friends and cherishing the precious 15 days where I'm allowed to be myself wholly again.

so in my last blog I had mentioned the mother of a PCV I'd recently met and how cool of a lady she is. A few months back I met another cool set of parents, on their SECOND trip to Azerbaijan to visit their PCV son, Tom Kniola. I was in Baku for a committee meeting so we (my roomie for the night, Bev aka one of my favorite ladies in AZ) decided to join the Kniola party for some drinks. I spent a good chunk of the evening discussing the merits of America and what it means to be an American with Bev and Father Kniola - which was really good fun & conversation. I hope to catch up with the Kniolas again someday if I ever find myself in the Chicago area.

With my recently purchased plane ticket for my vacation to America - I have a rather long layover in Cincinnati, Ohio which incidentally, isn't too far away from Oxford, Ohio aka where my sitemate is from. Mom & Dad Karrow, from what I gather seem like the type of parents who would drive up to the airport and take out to dinner a friend who is a big part of their son's life half a world away. I'm really excited to meet them in August. Dinner has already been decided to be partaken at Montgomery Inn, which is a pretty awesome BBQ place it sounds. I love ribs.

I called my dad on Father's Day for well wishings. he called me the next day (Sunday night still in Seattle) and oddly enough, he was the one asking me the questions I would want a parent to be asking me about my life out here. Mom was being the usual mom, asking me about my weight and reminding me I'm almost 30 now (when does 25 mean almost 30? jeeeeeez!) so I gotta start putting things like havign a family in motion before I get too old. I guess she's used to me handling my business so well that she just assumes I'm happy all the time (which I'm not - happiness cycles for PCVs on a rather regular basis). parents are strange and weird - but maybe it's because I see myself becoming a parent myself 7-10 years from now (but not any sooner, because commitment scares me. I remember the prospect of a 27 month commitment scared the bejesus out of me at the beginning of service. 12 down, 15 more to go)

Yesterday was some marathon guesting back at site with very atypical Azeri parents. It offered me a lot of hope for a new generation of independent, sassy, motivated Azerbaijani women who, with the support of their parents, will lead their country into a new global age. Women who know their worth and their rights, and won't be afraid to assert it or accept anything that makes them feel disempowered.

Unmotivation has quickly changed to being quite busy! Hot dang. The last week has found me running around the western parts of the country for work between America Day, sports playing with HCNs and GLOW planning. What an exhausting time that was filled with delicious, delicious food!

Ganja aka the former capitol of Azerbaijan, furtherest western big city of the country has just opened its first Chinese restaurant run by migrant workers. The food was DELICIOUS and made many a peace corps volunteer bellies' happy. I went there 2 nights in a row! We were joined later in the weekend by some expat friends from Baku, whom, collectively have lived in Azerbaijan for 22 months and it was more or less their very first venture outside of Baku. It was weird! the contrast of expats and pcvs never ceases to amaze me at how much we really do (try to) live at the local level. Will and I got into a pretty long conversation about the state of toilets and associated practices with our expat buddies - they couldn't believe our stories about the "facilities" that pcvs live with. I think we just get such an "ehhh whatever" attitude about life here that even when you slip, fall and cut your head open and have blood gushing down your face, your only real response is "dang. Gauze lazimdir (gauze is needed)" while your friends are refraining from panicking. Although maybe this is also my whatever attitude about injuries, my body took yet another beating during softball playing the next day.

Fast forward the rest of the weekend (which involved more injuries) once I arrived back on the eastern part of the country (my side of the country) I ran into a few volunteers who were on their way to their COS (close of service) conference and was invited to lunch with Ram and his mom, Jo, who was visiting. Mama Ram aka Jo is a way cool lady who took a group of us pcvs out to Georgian food (I LOVE xacapuri!) for lunch. Though I wished she had told us more embarrassing stories about Ram as a kid...since Ram is universally known to be nothing but AWESOME. Jo told us that if she ever found out about us staying in a hotel in San Antonio, Texas she'd essentially have us kicked out of said hotel and we'd have no choice but to come stay with her. My wanting to marry Ram has tripled now that I know what sort of mother-in-law I'd have! Dang!

My first Azeri school year concluded a few days ago, complete with a Zeng Son aka graduation ceremony for the 11th formers and the passing of the key of knowledge onto the 1st form kids. (This part involved a literal ceremonial purpose key, about a meter long) There were speeches given and poems that were recited. The 11th formers had sashes on, beauty contestant style, sporting the 3 colors and seal of Azerbaijan.

There was also traditional dancing by both the small children and older kids; while observing I considered how demonstrating this dancing would look to the Americans in my life whenever I see them next in the homeland. A product of the clearly marked gender lines and roles, with Azeri traditional dancing there are typically clusters of women then clusters of men dancing on their own separate areas of the dance floor.

Falling in line with the conservative, demure/passive role of women - women typically dance by slowly crossing one foot for a heel tap in front of the other foot and alternate this foot pattern while holding their arms out as if you're going in for a bear hug but instead of embracing another person, there's a wrist circling movement is very small and not at all boisterous. Hip shaking is seen as very taboo so very rarely will you see any of the booty shaking Americans seem to have such a fondness for. Think the exact opposite of the word exuberant - and yet there is very little in this country that could effectively get me out onto the dancefloor after my first Azeri folk dancing attempt/trauma last summer.

Men, however, get all the fun it seems as usual in Azeri society. The phrases 'dancing shoes' or 'dancing pants' definitely applies here. Arms are held out straight out sideways from shoulders and sometimes bend at the elbow to the head alternately (those of you who know the sprinkler dance - think of the arm-head pose...you're halfway to how the dance looks) and then the feet, oh my goodness the feet movement. It's mostly an insanely fast kick slide shuffle forward of the feet with all the weight in the heels. The men in this country LOVE to dance and I've seen the equivalent of dance battles in the numerous Azeri social functions I've been to lately (mostly weddings). Factor in that it's customary for men to drink rather copiously when they get together at weddings (usually a total of 6 bottles of alcohol on a table when you are seated, none of which the women will touch since local women very rarely drink, a small glass of champagne on a very special occasion at best) - well, drunken wedding dancing isn't too different no matter what country or culture you're in I suppose.

The bigger wedding I attended recently even had an all male conga chain where they were holding hands and wrapping around the huge restaurant between tables and aisles, I think singing and/or dancing to the toy (Azeri word for wedding) music. Here I was sulking at a wedding because I was homesick and the Azeri man conga chain rolls by from behind me...that's one way to turn a frown upside down!

I suppose I'll take or have a video in my possession at some point, my digital camera is slightly broken these days hence the slacking on the picture taking. Lezgin weddings are supposed to be even more boisterous - Lezgins are a minority ethnic group of the Dagestan Caucasus area (aka where I and a few other PCVs live) who have a reputation within Azerbaijan of really knowing how to get rowdy. I've seen a wedding video (which took place in neighboring Dagestan, not Azerbaijan though) where the men were just chugging bottles of local vodka and enjoying themselves via dance - somehow it really did seem more ruckus than anything I've yet to witness at an Azeri wedding (though, I have a sneaking suspicion that my tendency of disappearing before the evening really gets underway has a hand in this).

49 weeks now that I've left, not that I've been literally and meticulously counting the number of weeks I've been out here. (It's just easy when to count when phrased as departing a year aka 52 weeks ago, minus 21 days aka 3 weeks...simple math people) There's more stuff to write. I'll save it for another blog, which I promise will come soon. I haven't been terribly busy, just terribly unmotivated to update ^.^ Until next time!

Blog

Wow. So no blogging for the whole month of March. Boy am I one lazy PCV. I suppose the easiest thing for me to do is to do a ten-list update of current PCV life. Ready, steady, go!

1. Novruz bayram (holiday). Now this is like the super bowl of all Azeri holidays I've witnessed yet. Think of it one part Halloween (fire jumping, trick or treating), one part Easter (spring celebration, egg dying) and one part Thanksgiving (lots of visiting family and eating ridiculous amounts of food). I genuinely enjoyed the holiday and I'm glad I stuck around for the holiday since many other PCVs left during our 2 week break from school. I think there aren't nearly enough holidays in the world with jumping over fires, really.

2. Integration. A local friend said to me about 2 months ago that my community wasn't necessarily taking to the new volunteers all that well since our predecessors were much more outgoing. Most of those who know me know that I'm typically a very outgoing, extroverted person so I was trying to keep in line with what we'd been advised to do in order to integrate to our communities, which wasn't successful in my case. I decided to shelf what we were advised and use a combination of instincts and cultural observations/knowledge to integrate some into my community. It's been a successful strategy so far, I've gone from being treated with suspicion to being invited to homes of complete strangers in the streets. I'm even making friends (finally!) in my community! It's weird to say that it's genuinely been a big contributor to my positive mental state lately, I feel a lil cheesy saying it but it is what it is. I'm liking my site more and more.

3. A result of above has led me to successfully arranging an Azeri language tutor. Which for me is really exciting since I'm quite serious about learning the language to a high degree of fluency. Right now we've got it arranged for Tuesday morning tutoring sessions, so once a week. I originally wanted twice a week but realized it's a huge time commitment between all the other things I do (school, english club, culturally exchanging with the locals, helping other volunteers with projects, etc) Prior to this my language acquisition strategy was to learn a new word everyday (about) and it's been successful. I've added 20+ words in addition to useful (funny) phrases to my lexicon in March. Rock. While Azeri isn't necessarily a widely spoken language, it's extremely close to Turkish, which is maybe just a bit more useful for the next set of dreams I want to chase. (hint: you may be able to come visit me in Istanbul in 2010)

4. Winter. Yay! It's finally over. Azeri winter is tough. Not really sure why exactly since winter is my 2nd favorite season in the states but I didn't take all that well to the Azeri winter. Maybe it's a culmination of novelty of PCV life wearing off, gratuitous amounts of mud, less daylight, sparse heating in most buildings...it was rough but I survived. The weather has been warming up again so I've been able to leave the house and not freeze.

5. Again, a result of warmer weather means I've been able to start exercising. Frigidly cold weather isn't conducive to exercise, let me tell you. I've had an aerobic step bench built. Been rocking out to my exercise ball. Makes for a happy vy, let me tell you. If anyone wants to send workout dvds, say cardio kickboxing, any form of dancing (even strip!), step aerobic, yoga or pilates...I wouldn't be opposed to it. In fact, I will dedicate workouts to you ^.^

6. Host family. I'm still with a host family. My room is huge and mostly private. My host family is really good to me and there's more or less an implicit financial disincentive to move out so I'm not really all that motivated to get out soon. Though with the weather getting progressively warmer and bikinis around males is a definite no no, I may reconsider. If I could find a cheap house though, that may work out. But right now I've got a huge studio room with space for a workout corner, an indoor shower (but not toilet), satellite tv, dialup internet, great host family and quite a bit more freedom than most have with host families? Again, not motivated.

7. April Fools Day. Happy joking! My sitemate texted me at 5 a.m. trying to get me. But I know Will way too well to be fooled. He sent the same ruse to other people and I was the only one who caught on immediately. It inspired me to pull my own ruses, both of which were successful. Siyezen strikes again! hahahahahaha....

8. PTAC! so one facet of volunteer-staff engagement is we have a few volunteer committees, all of which we learned about during PST. One was called PTAC which stands for Programming & Training Advisory Committee, which is staff & PCVs working together to develop/improve training and programs for the 3 sectors we have here. My ears perked up during PST because it seemed like something I'd be into. I applied & got selected as a member. Exciting. Our first meeting is this Friday, we get hotel rooms for the night and my roomie is the coolest 70 year old lady ever. Her name is Bev, who along with our other 2 older female volunteers we (AZ5) have affectionately nicknamed "the Golden Girls." Bev, Cindi and Natalie all got a lot of moxie and everyone wants to be them when we reach their mature ages. I absolutely adore all of them.

9. Program Design Workshop. Yet another thing that Peace Corps does, this workshop is intended to help us learn how to design projects and get them off the ground with a local at our sites who are interested in community development. Between Will, myself and Barbie, we only have 2 of 3 sectors (english education, community development) represented currently in Siyezen. I've started working with the local Ministry of Youth & Sport director here to help develop the youth of my town, his name is Elvin. We'll be attending a 2 day workshop together later this month and I'm really going to lobby for a Youth Development volunteer for him since he's sincerely interested in developing the youth here. His passion inspires me! He sees the girls of Siyezen as too passive and wants to empower them, which is one of the most enlightened views of cross gender roles I've come by in Azerbaijan. How could I not use this opportunity?! I've got high hopes for this.

10. Travel. I've started planning my next trip/vacation. It'd been decided since last July I'd be returning home the following summer for a visit since it's a fair bit of effort to get any of my family here in Azerbaijan. I've been researching airfares to Seattle and at best I'd found something $1600+, mostly due to the fact that it's ridiculously expensive to fly out of Baku. Baku-Istanbul roundtrip is about $430USD! But Will is going to Riga, Latvia with some other PCVs and the flight is $239USD which inspired me to see flights from Riga-Seattle compared to Istanbul-Seattle. My oh my is it much cheaper all the way around. Only now I want to spend a few days in Riga since I'm there. Is it bad of me to cut time with home even shorter to see one more corner of the world? I read up a bit on Riga and it sounds amazing! I mean...Seattle will always be there, but when will I ever be in Riga again?

Until next time y'all.

1. My hair caught on fire. Literally. I was trying to take myself out on a date like I do sometimes in the States to feel loved. I was sitting at a booth and the ledge behind me was clustered with tealights without a candle holder. Said ledge's height was right about where a hood from a jacket would fall on your back. Factor in my long hair. yeaaaaaah. that's a no good.

2. I saw the equivalent of a rich girl pet/accessory. Think Paris Hilton with her little chihuahua that is her accessory. This affluent Azeri girl was holding her pet rabbit under a hand dryer at McDonalds in Baku. It was a serious...really? what is going on moment for me

3. Snickers cake + veggie lasagna=happy PCVs in Barda

4. Forcing open of a sports bar in Baku for Superbowl watching at 3 a.m. local time...

5. being hit in the face by a tube of polenta sent from America

6. bacon flavored chips!

7. getting some serious ideas about community projects and development

8. my sitemate being tracked down and told that his Azeri was bad in comparison to the other 2 foreign girls with him, HILARIOUS!

9. being bumped to the front of the "line" at the ATM! OMG!

that's all for now really. Even 8 months after the fact, I still wake up some days and find it hard to believe I'm in Azerbaijan.

Ok, so I'm totally falling off the wagon with this keeping my blog updated thing. Surprisingly, life as a Peace Corps Volunteer can be busier than you'd assume or imagine it to be. I've been moderately successful with keeping myself busy and occupied, partially with things that are on the personal growth tip and other energies are focused on how to achieve the status of best volunteer in Siyezen.

Discussions with other volunteers about blogs have made me feel that I say very little about my perception of the local culture. In truth, there are so many nuances I'm still trying to understand about Azeri culture and we've had it drilled into our heads that it isn't our place to change or judge their culture (not that I want to anyway, if I were a local I wouldn't be too kind to some foreigner coming in and telling me I am wrong about everything I know), and yes there are a lot of things that for me as a fiercely independent, single woman raised in the Western world that I have a hard time digesting.

I recently changed host families, since under the discretion of our Country Director (Zoltan), we are required to live with host families for the first 6 months of service but are granted the ability to identify and pick our own host families at 4 months. Now, let me say this. My first host family are great, I really did like them quite a bit since they understood I wanted to do my own thing and were receptive to things I brought into their home (like the lovely flavors of garlic and chili pepper in an otherwise relatively bland palate as far as the local cuisine goes).

But, there were a few small things that added up enough for me to believe in order to preserve good feelings about the family and locals, I needed to change residences. I didn't have my own private room for one, the layout of the house was set up as such that my room was essentially a hallway for their storage room. The house was also split, with the front of the house shared with my host mom's mother-in-law. My host grandma, well, what can I say about her and still be delicate? While she made some awesome cucumber pickles, she is very much the opposite of a loving mother-in-law to my host mom and purposely caused much discomfort for everyone on my side of the residence, which was typically unannounced, unsolicited and frequent. The racket she'd raise when she encountered a locked door was something to behold.

I felt horrible for my host mom, who, not only has an absentee husband of 10 years (he left on the premise of finding remittance work in Russia, which isn't uncommon for Azeri men, but family is rather valued here and the fact that he's only returned twice, does not keep in touch and definitely doesn't send money to support his wife and their 3 daughters suggests not only callousness but that he has other attachments he feels more obligated to) but now has to continue living with a hostile daily reminder of a man she didn't even want to marry who lacks serious commitment to their family. Thankfully she's an educated woman who has career opportunities (recently decided to step down as the principal of her primary school) so she's had the means to support herself and her girls. But she definitely didn't seem happy about the way her life had turned out. I oftentimes felt like I was invading on many private family moments.

I recently met a young woman, probably younger than I am, whom I tried to comfort in Baku. A fellow volunteer and I were walking behind her and her male escort (which we determined to be her brother or her husband by the "protective" way he treated her) and as soon as he left, she burst into tears, and rightfully so. The behavior freshly displayed by her husband on the streets would've warranted an arrest for domestic violence in America, but that is what I see with my American eyes. I tried my hand at comforting Azeri but she spoke English well and she told me that he was her husband and she did not love him at all, her parents forced her to marry him and she was unhappy. All I could do was stay with her until she calmed down and gave her my number, told her to call me if there was anything I could help her with at all, whether it was to help improve her English or just someone else to talk to about her situation who she thought would take her side. It was sombering to compare in my mind how differently this situation would've been processed at home, even in the attitudes. We call that abuse in America and it is unacceptable behavior. Here my perception of the attitudes is that while, yes, it's a particularly crappy relationship, it doesn't have the stigma and unacceptance I'm accustomed to. I suppose the most culturally acceptable way I can hope that works out for her is that her family will recognize she's unhappy, being treated poorly, maybe let her divorce and return home.

In America, women would've had other choices in these situations. Women would've been able to at least identify options and paths for their lives to otherwise take when life handed you a lemon. It's very rare for women to re-marry in most instances I've heard of. There is quite a premium on virgin brides, because a girl not only shames herself but her family for being impure. Though the tenets of Muslim religion ergo culture expect purity of both bride and groom, I've seen a lot more leeway given to males with unchecked behavior towards women.

That is not to say that all Azeri men have unchecked behavior towards women, my current host family has me living in a home with a married couple and their 2 young boys. The boys call me aunt since their parents are so close to my own age, my host brother treats his wife quite well and is affectionate with his sons. The boys are exceptionally well behaved, I must say. The older boy is a particularly pleasant kid, I expressed my shock to his mom that he was so helpful around the house, cleaning up dishes after meals and all that (something my own brothers at home in America hardly do). Gulare (my host sis) was very happy I had noticed and said he's always been like that and Eli (the younger one) isn't as much, but she's working on it. It makes me hopeful for an improvement on Azeri gender relations and roles for future generations.

Interesting story. So here I was with my sitemate crossing the country from oh-so-beautiful Ganja which is on the west side of the country to my side of the east coast Baku/Siyezen. What was I doing in Ganja? Returning home from Turkey, but more on that later.

In the week I was gone someone decided to officially turn on winter in Azerbaijan and the proof was in the snow on the ground all across most of the country. Will and I were on a bus by 9 a.m. and didn't start touching down in Baku around 4 p.m. with no less than 8 disabled/crashed vehicles along the main highway due to the snow and layers of ice/slush. Per our training sessions where we had a case study of a real PCV incident that resulted in deaths, I expressed concern about the condition of the roads, coupled with bad weather, sketchy driving about getting home with the dark coming. Calls were made and what was the Peace Corps solution to our safety not being compromised? Camping out in the Peace Corps lounge in Baku overnight!! So here I sit in Baku with at least 2' of snow outside the building updating my blog. While I could use a shower, I'm glad that I'm in a safe/dry/warm place. Bonus that it has fast internets, a real flushing toilet and a dvd player.

Anyhoo, moving along. I spent last week using the first of my annual leave (aka vacation) in Turkey, more specifically in Istanbul. What an amazing city/time!! (I'll make a separate post for this one, with pictures) By chance the 4 of us ended up meeting quite a few other PCVs from other "eastern europe" countries. We met Travis and Kevin from Georgia, Jennifer from Albania, Josh and Joe from Bulgaria and Mary, Josh and Colt from Romania. We ended up spending the better half of our week hanging out with the Romanians and Bulgarians. It was really interesting to compare battle stories of work/lifestyle and all that. Despite Azerbaijan being lumped in with the EE block, I realized how much of a hardship post the AZ is compared to what is jokingly refered to as the "Posh Corps." Then again, it's never easy to leave your home and move to a foreign land to do what we're attempting to do.

So moral of this posting?

flushing toilets=win

meeting other cool pcvs=win

scary bus ride across azerbaijan=lose

being snowed in @ the peace corps lounge=fun!

I'm horrible at posting on this thing, I know. You're all just dying for another riveting post right? Well, I suppose I'll make it easier for me by arranging an update of my life in the form of a tenlist.

1. I need heat in my room. Or warmer socks/microfleece. Without a heater, the temperature is consistently below dew point (whatever that is in farenheit or celsius) in my room, which means I see my breath at all points of the day. Morning, night, all the time. And yet I still run around my house in little booty shorts and tank tops partly because it scandalizes my host family, partly because I'm not necessarily *that* cold yet.

2. It's been 6 months since I left home. Officially. Wow, it's the longest I've been away from my family. This week was weird. I did feel the whole disconnect from my life at home, it made me want to hide in my room with a book and wish for hot chocolate or hot apple cider.

3. School is ok. I mean, it's going well but I'm a bit dubious in regards to my job satisfaction. It's not so much the job but the education methodology is a bit counterintuitive to me at times. I'll try to reconcile that by introducing new methods to test knowledge to my counterparts. First experiment has been successful, the students and my counterparts liked it.

4. We have our first AZ5 in-service training (IST) beginning on christmas day as our travel day. should be fun filled between "enthralling" training sessions. But I do anticipate some refreshing insight to new strategies as a community development worker, not just mere PCV teacher.

5. I may start learning how to play piano in January.

6. Crossword puzzles make my sitemate Will and I very happy. We're getting pretty darn good too.

7. Will got his care package from Ohio, my mommy sent mine from Seattle 2 days after, I'm strongly hoping it'll be waiting for me on Tuesday in Baku. It has a down jacket I've been eagerly waiting for. More importantly, it should have a new charger cable for my pink Nintendo DS Lite that I haven't been able to turn on since July. Playing video games makes me feel mushy inside.

8. I miss home, a lot. Strangely though I'm already making plans to leave it once I do finish service. Got more dreams to chase.

9. I'm slightly OCD when it comes to making packing lists and organizing my iTunes, it kills time at site. This also applies to a book review I wrote that I'll be submitting to the volunteer newsletter. Even though it's not a huge thing to get published, it's still been awhile since my avid journalism days pre-college. I'm a bit nervous about others reading my writing. I satired some satire, hoping it goes down well.

10. It's been strange to be in a country that isn't big into Christmas. I mean it's here as much as you'd anticipate a secularly Muslim country influenced by Western pop culture. But there is school next week. Nothing by way of gratuitous amounts of false holiday cheerfulness. I'm actually enjoying that quite a bit. My brother and I are a bit Grinch-like when it comes to the holidays. Not really because of some shared childhood home drama but more because we're jaded cynical types that love overcast skies and gloomy weather. In spite of the excessive amounts of mud around site, I do love the cold weather I'm living in now.

That's it for now folks, more updates to come, I promise!

Wow what a whirlwind time the last few weeks have been. I last spoke about the trifecta of Halloween festivities, the final of which had been scraped due to a delegation of important Peace Corps officials coming to Siyezen to meet the volunteers who resided there. I met the director of Peace Corps worldwide, Ron Tschetter, his wife, the EMA (Europe Mediterranean Asia) regional director, the Communications director and someone's recent college grad assistant. The delegation was more pleasant than I anticipated given their importance and it was nice to see that people at the very top of the chain of command interested in the ongoings on the ground by way of PCVs.

Will and I spent the following weekend in Ganja, a gorgeous city to the west near the Georgian border for softball and a luau with no Hawaiian decor but a real spit roasting a pig in a Muslim country. Talk about a delicious time! There were mountains as far as the eye could see, some snow capped. I felt like I was back in the PNW. I definitely want to try and make it back to Ganja to visit sometime.

We got back on Monday and rolled right into our English Club where we taught our beginning class the names of locally grown produce in Azerbaijan. Since there was a week long break from school last week, we had a special class on Wednesday morning and took the kids on a field trip to the bazar for a scavenger hunt/bingo sort of game where they had to identify correctly the names of fruits and vegetables they saw in English, check them off on cards we prepped before class and also write them down. For students in an educational system that values ROTE and has no hands-on learning or really show kids that learning can be fun...the excitement and competitiveness that surfaced was really enjoyable to see as a teacher. I do believe we thoroughly confused the stallkeeps at the bazar though, if they weren't confused enough by the presence of Will and I since we don't look like what they think Americans look like.

This last weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving a week early in Baku with a majority of the Peace Corps. It was a potluck held at the Deputy Chief of Missions of the U.S. Embassy's house and us volunteers were kindly taken in by families who work at the embassy for the weekend. My hosts, Jeff and Micah and their precious one year old son Elijah were incredibly kind, laid back and gracious people. It was really nice to have a break from sitelife and use a real washer and dryer. The following morning we did a Sunday morning brunch 2 floors up of the apt building with a few other of the embassy families hosting volunteers at Kim and Henri's residence.

Kim and Henri are a couple who work for the State Department that I met back in July and I just have so much respect and admiration for them. They are really down to earth, hip, fun, worldly people, also RPCVs having served Peace Corps Ukraine not too long ago. Henri and I spoke at length about career path opportunities after service and I left yesterday feeling really inspired to continue living a little girl's dream of life and work abroad. If I ever find a life partner and stay in this industry, Kim and Henri are pretty much what I'd aspire to be like with my husband. They've got some really beautiful art hanging on their walls that they've been collecting from their global travels too. I can't wait to hang out with them again in 2 weeks for the joint december bday bash us volunteers have planned. They've been wanting to come dancing with us for awhile, I'm sure mixing a little karaoke into that won't be too hard.

I can't believe I'm already approaching the 5 month mark of living in Azerbaijan, it's just been going by so fast and I realize the remainder 22 months of service will continue to fly by especially once projects take off the ground for the AZ5s. It astounds me still everyday and sometimes I find myself asking myself "Whoa...am I *really* in Azerbaijan?" especially when I'm attending "balacaq toys" which translated means small wedding but is in fact a party with crazy amounts of food and dancing celebrating a very young (around 7-9 is they standard age) boy's circumsion. I felt bad for the poor kid! But the faces he was making was deliciously comical. Speaking of comical, T&A, my Halloween/Lenkaran hosts treated us volunteers to an awesomely bold/funny skit at the Thanksgiving talent show. They cross-dressed as Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson and did an interpretation of VH1s storytellers of artists explaining their song-writing process. HILARIOUS! They even sealed the deal by singing "Girlfriend" (the lyrics go "hey hey you you, I don't like your girlfriend! hey hey you you I think you need a new one...I could be your girlfriend") to Rustin, 1/2 of the AZ4 couple whom they call Mr. Erin Goeckel, and he even played along with some playful suggestive flirting complete with some booty shaking to the singing...good times! I feel like my reasons for joining Peace Corps are reaffirmed and bolstered every week of volunteer life. Us AZ5 kids are starting to come into our own too, people are showing more of the quirky silly sides of our personalities since we've been together for nearly 5 months now. We even get to spend christmas together since we'll have our first in-service training conference starting on December 25th. It's almost like being back in the States and seeing all your loved ones for the holidays, except without my Mom and other female relatives asking me why I'm in my mid-twenties and still unmarried. that is a picture with Director Tschetter and his wife when they came to Siyezen...sorry been slacking on the pictures lately!

Blog

Now if you're anything resembling the average veemo, you love Halloween with your whole being. To you it is the sum of all American holidays and your birthday combined into one special time of year when everyone feels as silly and mischeivous as you do. I LOVE HALLOWEEN I really really do, who cares about the other holidays as long as I can celebrate Halloween!! (Anyone who remembers the debaucle of last year knows how "into the Halloween spirit" I tend to get)

Now you may ask, "But vy, you're in Azerbaijan, do they celebrate it there?" To which I say, "YES! Halloween is definitely celebrated in Azerbaijan!" if you pay attention to the 3rd goal of the Peace Corps, and realize it's also for local culture to learn about Americans. Halloween this year comes in several parts.

Part One: The PCV party

In Lenkaran we had the gracious hosts of Tom & Ash along with their other lovely sitemates Joyce, Jane and Tim for the weekend. By the time I arrived Friday people were already getting into the spirit of Halloween. The next day we all wake up at 8 a.m. (after dancing til 3 or 4) thanks to someone announcing loudly "it's cold, I'm sick and I've got shorts on..." or something to that effect. Foraging for food in Tom's kitchen turned into a good buzz that got most of us into costume by 3 p.m. in the afternoon, where more tomfoolery, dancing and shenanigans took place. My buddy Nate and I dressed as Gwen Stefani and Harajuku girl with homemade costumes!

our hosts

rikki who dressed as a Mexican

pcv girls

a bulgarian flavored taco

gwen stefani and I before we started...well before it got dark

the night wore on

you can take girls out of seattle but you can't take skepticism out the seattle girl (yay for mariko!)

seriously one of my favorite moments of the night (when I could still remember things)

There'd be more pictures, but since PCV parties are usually nice breaks from the conservative culture we live in, being selective of pictures being posted is always a good life choice. Hands down my favorite costume of the night was Jason who dressed as the Charlie Brown ghost, a sheet with eyes cutout. It still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside a few days later despite the lack of central/indoor heating in AZ. Best of all he kept making that "oooooooo" ghost noise all night and imbibed on Jim Beam under his costume. I seriously had the time of my life and it was probably the best Halloween party I've been to yet.

Part Two: Siyezen learns (more) about Halloween

Getting back to site I decided to do a Halloween lesson for my students at school and Will's and my English club for non school #3 students who don't have access to the Americans in town otherwise. The lesson at school was shorter since I plan on doing an America Day next year and having a bigger celebration for all of school #3. But at the English club we bobbed for apples and one student even brought her own Jack-O-Lantern she carved (she attended the school where the previous Siyezen PCV taught, before my time). It was a lot of fun and the kids seemed to enjoy it, passerby adults were definitely curious what the Japanese girl and non-Azeri speaking Azeri (my sitemate Will gets mistaken for a local all the time) were doing with the local kids.

ibrahim, my local azeri friend with a jack o lantern

my sitemate and I

this is our english club

I got an apple!

Part Three:

Hasn't happened yet! But should be a great time. I'm helping another volunteer with an "America Day" to show the Azeri school kids how Americans celebrate Halloween in a rayon on the other side of Azerbaijan (yay for taking the night train on Friday). I'm particularly excited since I plan on having an America Day next year for Halloween at my site, I'll be able to see what's successful and what isn't.

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In other news, the reality of living in a Muslim country has been hitting me on a few fronts this week. The U.S. Embassy and Peace Corps office were closed earlier this week in response to a terrorist plan being uncovered with American targets in Baku. I understand there's some risks involved being a PCV but to be honest, I don't feel any less safe than I did in the States.

There are articles out about groups that support violent actions rising where poverty and lack of opportunities/education exist. It makes me feel like what the PC does is especially important in places like this. If anything, if we can give people a face, a voice, a smile to what an American is compared to abstract ideas sold by the media or anti-American ideologies...we're succeeding in humanizing one another to each other which builds peace. The Azeris are really good, kind and warm people (would you let an obviously lost foreigner who barely speaks the language wandering the neighborhood use the bathroom in your home, offer her some tea and then walk her to where the American boy lives? Yeah I didn't think so) so it really surprised me when I was made aware of the situation at hand. Everything is returning to normal tho so no worries.

Life here is good. School has its highs and lows, my 7th form kids are my reason for rolling out of bed in the morning. My English club is already in it's 5th or 6th week and I've only been at site since mid September. I've already got a few more ideas for other community development projects but taking my time to get to know people and making sure I am not alone in seeing the needs that can be potentially addressed by a silly PCV like me. I've got dreams of some youth development since we didn't get an official volunteer yet and some environmental stuff...I had a shower with water completely heated by burning styrofoam a few weeks ago. My environmentalist sensibilities were shocked to the core and I kept telling myself, it's a hot shower vy, it's a hot shower, it's a hot shower your conscience isn't clean but your body will be.

We've got Thanksgiving coming up soon. My mom finally sent me some warmer clothes and my next care package will even have a new charger for my Nintendo DS I haven't been able to turn on since June!!! Thanks Mom! Really there isn't much to complain a lot about, especially now that spinach has come into season. Now if only I had a proper bowl of rice (basmati doesn't count to me, being vietnamese, it doesn't stick together and is partaken with butter) and chopsticks to go with my leafy green veggie goodness. Or better yet, some viet-style carmelized salty sweet spicy catfish...living next to the most polluted body of the water in the world means I haven't had real fish in months ::sigh:: if you're reading this, please, go enjoy some sushi for me, and the real stuff, especially of the fatty tuna variety. And I'll leave you with some random photos of Azerbaijan. Til next time!

a cake I made for my host sister's 18th birthday...tasted much better than it looked

nearby villages at night from my sitemate's house

the road to a nearby ancient castle

neighboring rayon to the south, it's entrance

this is the main road that runs through my town

Yesterday was quite possibly one of the most perfect days yet in my quarter century of life. It started with a fitful night's sleep from a large mug of jasmine tea the night before. Rolled out of bed around 6:30 a.m. to get ready for a daytrip with my sitemate to Baku for a U.S. embassy vs. Peace Corps "friendly" softball game.

The marsutka cruised along at a remarkable pace by Azeri standards, we got into baku right around 8:45 a.m. and tried to head to the PC office. The last time we were in town, we caught the #57 marsutka, the driver decided to start pulling away while I was still trying to get off. I decided to not risk death again by catching the #248 which stops right in front of the office anyway. Bad call. Took us in the wrong direction and we ended up right back where we were. I decide that my wrong direction marsutka warranted another risk of death by marsutka on the #57, this time I almost fall down the stairs into the busy road.

We got to the lounge where I finally got the care package my wonderful aunt sent me a month ago and it was filled with all sorts of goodies that I had asked for. She even got me a make-up brush by my favoritist brand ever! She's the best! We had a game to get to though were joined by Sarah (a CED volunteer in Berde, also a fellow Seattlite) and headed to the game by taxi. The game started out a little bit slow, the embassy pulled into the lead early on with some great hits and plays by their team. However, we had two things they didn't. A cheer squad powered by Journey and Madonna and the greatest person that ever lived, my sitemate Will Karrow, playing for them.

Peace Corps team started closing the gap as we rallied to Madonna's Material Girl and at the top of the 8th inning Will put us in the lead with a double when we had 2 on base. To hold the embassy there we had a lil "Don't Stop Believing" which is even more dramatic with a 11-10 score through the 9th inning. I don't think Journey will ever quite be the same for me or the other Peace Corps folk present.

The game was finished with celebratory drinks/lunch at O'Malleys. The embassy people are an interesting lot. Thankgiving with them next month should be a good time. I got to meet two of the sweetest little girls in the world, Sabrina and Malia, ages 8 and 2 respectively. I can't wait to see them again!

The day was finished off with a little downtime at the volunteer lounge surrounded by good people like my darling Ina, love that girl! Heading to the lounge wasn't without picking up some "provisions" for next weekend's Halloween party in Lenkaran. I even found a little more fabric to make my group costume (all of which I am making) a little more snazzy. I really really love Halloween, the one time of year everyone is as mischievous and playful as I am ;) 2 fifths of stoli vodka for 15 Manat (roughly $17.25 USD) was an amazing find! That's like buy one bottle of mid-shelf vodka, get one free!

OK! so the blog below segued into something a bit too serious for some of my blog readers. Here's the anecdotal one. ^.^

More Baku stories! I found nuoc mam! I really can't get over it because I feel Vietnamese again. Nuoc mam is that super pungent/stinky fish sauce we use in EVERYTHING. mmmm...already tasting it in my mind.

I got mistaken for an Azeri on the marsutka (the foreigners in Baku I guess never take public transport and why should they? They've got loads of money compared to us poor Peace Corps volunteers) and I said to the guy...are you sure? Then I lifted my sunglasses off my face and looked at him funny. I told him I was from America and he asked me if I'm sure I wasn't from first Thailand then Japan. Note, this is at me in myAFTER I told him I was from America in my perfect West coast English, his English was pretty good too. This was hilarious due to the fact that 2 days prior, I almost got deported.

Deportation story: My sitemate and I were checking into a hotel with the help of an Azeri friend. A policeman who walked by the lobby decides to step in and say hello to Will, shakes his hand. Then the policeman turns to me and asks to see my passport, saying he's immigration all with a bit of a hostile tone. My Azeri friend, Nurxanim, turns to him and says in Azeri that I am American. All of a sudden he's laughing and saying "oh oh, problem yoxdur" meaning there is no problem then. The only Asian women in Azerbaijan are the wives of expats who live in Baku with nice houses or the ones that sneak into the country from China to hawk wares on the streets or probably got human trafficked in to work as prostitutes. Hilarious. The other Asian Peace Corps girls have some equally "humorous" stories.

The Peace Corps lounge at the office is AMAZING. Really it makes me happy. I spent a lot of time there this weekend recovering from nightly warrior status. More accurately, I spent a lot of time underneath the big table because I decided I would build a fort in the lounge. It's just so nice and chill. It has that parent's basement kind of feel. Messy, a few couches and lazy American kids watching movies. We even had pizza delivered to it.

I hate indoor smoking. Like really really hate it. I hate it more than the local vodka.

I really like dancing, bendy straws stolen from the bar for me from one of my closer PC buddies and how amazing it is that I really do feel like us volunteers are like family out here. My mom will hate to read this but I shared a hotel room with 4 boys (we're poor and splitting costs makes it cheap) and I trusted every single one of them to treat me with respect even after consuming copious amounts of alcohol, which they did. Being chivalrous (well most of them) offered me the bed by myself so I wouldn't have to share nor sleep on the floor. Amongst the volunteers there really is a more what's mine is yours mentality and a few of us has literally given the other the shirts off our backs. Oh wait. That was my sitemate getting puked on this weekend. haha.

speaking of, I have the best sitemate in the world. Mr. Will Karrow...now that is one hilarious guy. Yesterday we spent a good amount of time shopping online (well I was the one shopping, my birthday is 2 months away ::hint, hint:: and my reactions to some of the shoes @ nordstrom right now he was laughing at) and looking for free ringtones for our phones. Remember that song that came out awhile back.."my milkshake is better than yours" ??? Will is that awesome and confident of a man that it is now his ringtone for his phone. That's right. Will's milkshake is better than all of yours, so be jealous.

I have a new address, leave a comment w/ur email or email me directly if you want it. care packages with candy, hello panda, pocky sticks, or these shoes greatly appreciated. here is where I end since there are 4 Azeri guys staring over my shoulder in both directions staring at the Japanese (american) girl sitting in the corner with her laptop. sag ol!!

I'm in my 2nd week of being a peace corps volunteer at present. Life thusfar has been good, I've really been enjoying myself. My life here isn't really anything you'd quite imagine living in a developing nation would be like while having the bustle of life in the U.S. all around you. In short, it's much slower. People have time to spend with their families inspite of an active presence of satellite television in my case.

I'm beginning to get to know my community but I haven't quite gotten into the pace of things yet. Seems like I'm integrating already, wanting to do things at the non-American pace. Last week was more focused on unpacking and unwinding from the intensive training (we only had one day off and even then weren't really free to do as we please). This week I'm still recovering from the madness that was my first official Baku weekend as a volunteer with our predecessors (AZ4).

One of my nights in town, my friends and I stayed with my expat friend, Bob. He's the same age as most of us in the Peace Corps but seeing the vast difference of our lifestyles really made the whole "living to the local standard" thing that Peace Corps wants us to do set in. Bob works with a subcontracted company that is doing stuff in Baku/Azerbaijan for the main oil company here, and again, like most of us, he's fresh out of college.

The company I guess as part of the incentives package to move to a Muslim-lite country most Americans can't even pronounce let alone locate on the map was a rather generous living arrangement. His apartment is much nicer than anything I ever inhabited in Seattle. He has a maid that comes a few times a week to clean and do laundry. He also has a cook that comes in 3x a week. There's air conditioning, internet and even hot water that doesn't need to be heated 30 min prior to showering. And if I remember correctly, their work typically arranges most of their transportation.

Have I been spoiled by my bucket baths, uncomfortable marsutka rides surrounded by people who have some of the strongest b.o. I've ever experienced and lounging around in front of a fan wishing for popsicles? I can barely imagine that sort of reality anymore. Bob is wanting to come visit my sitemate and I in Siyezen though, so that he can see what Azerbaijan is really like since Baku is pretty much it's own self-contained bubble.

Speaking of Baku, it was AMAZING. well let me clarify, it's great in that I can get a tuna artichoke pizza, drink in public/clubs, and find fish sauce (nuoc mam) at the bigger expat market. But Baku is also terribly expensive for a Peace Corps volunteer on what I won't even call a salary. Not including what we pay our host families, most of us are living on $2-3 a day. Even this small amount of money pretty much means we're living a middle class lifestyle in an economy where the unemployment rate is about equal to the employment rate.

Why is the unemployment rate so high? Well a lot of it is due to the fact that Azerbaijan lacks the infrastructure (ergo as a developing country, the Peace Corps was requested to come by the government at least twice to helpout with the process and the program was launched in 2003) that is in part a result of the imploding of the economy after the fall of the USSR. The country is still relatively young, I think 16 years old in fact. The former Soviet methodologies, attitudes and practices are still rampant in this country, not even a residual as most would hope as Azerbaijan identifies itself as more Western being a member of the Council of Europe, etc.

With my American eyes it's a little bit hard to digest what I observe. I don't pass judgment on the practices but when it's translated into disengaged and disenfranchised students/youth that have a difficult time dreaming of what more they can be as many Americans do from a young age, it's a little bit hard. In my summer school, we asked kids what they wanted to be when they grow up one of them answered that he wanted to be a "driver" meaning a taxi or bus. Many girls get married at a very young age (17-25ish, above that you're considered too old), and their husbands desire, shelve their (if any) university or career dreams and stay home.

A major component of Western ideology is the value of independence in and of individuals, which for the most part I don't see very much of in Azerbaijan. The number of options are limited though, as the adage that applies also in America, it's not what you know but who you know. And sometimes job referrals aren't "free." Every chance I get though, I try explaining to my female students that I got jobs on my own not because of my parents, that women in America work. Women in America are educated, drive cars or stay single if they choose. Or I ask my male students if they help their moms at home with the chores to try and spark a little bit of critical thinking about gender roles. They're bright kids and much more well behaved than their counterparts in the States. I've been trying to brainstorm ideas, models and such to get not just the overachiever kids involved and interested in their futures. I've got time, 2 years will definitely be enjoyable in Azerbaijan.

the city where we spent the last 3 months training was listed by the bbc news as one of the (if not the) most polluted city in the world. those of you who are curious and savvy oughta google it.

other bits and pieces: I'm officially a volunteer now. Today was the first day of school and I've been out at site for a few days. My town is really perplexed by the "Japanese" girl who is living amongst them to teach English with the Peace Corps. Though, I think I would be confused too if I was Azeri. I also found out it costs roughly $40,000 to maintain each volunteer in the Peace Corps Azerbaijan program. That's more money than I made in a year back in the States! But keep in mind we OBVIOUSLY don't get that 40 grand...a lot of it pays for stuff like our health care, program staff, maintenance, training, etc...I think maybe 10% of it actually goes through our hands for housing, etc.

Also, chatting with my expat buddy last night made me realize just how much a difference there is living in a foreign, developing country as an expat and as a PCV. Us PCV folks really are living at the local level albeit middle class compared to our fellow countrymen who have all living expenses paid for them on top of salary. I've forgotten what it's like to work for a salary let alone have an abundance of this thing called "money." I feel like making a mock informercial for youtube/people at home saying "and you! for only $2 a day...can help support a peace corps volunteer" like the sally struthers type of people because...well..that's pretty much what we're living on out here.

things you can beat with a stick:

-a flip flop breaking at part where it connects between the strap and the sole in the middle of your day

-a hot stuffy room w/o air conditioning.

-mosquitoes that decide your feet are a buffet then buzz next to your ear all night

-being blown in the face with hot air and even more dust

-almost being run over by a marsutka

-wool that the Azeri women use to stuff mattresses

things you cannot beat with a stick:

-an awesome friend who picks up a piece of plastic string to help you fix your flip flop. I love my nater tot!

-the ramones. well you can't beat their music with a stick. incidentally, my birthday will be coming up relatively soon. anyone in the U.S. interested in sending me a Ramones t-shirt for my birthday will receive my undying love. I wear a medium/large. black.

-becoming an official volunteer in about 48 hours. my exit interview was awesome, my program managers and peace corps staff is happy with me and that I exceeded expectations more often than just meeting them. I was really surprised seeing as I'm a self-described slacker. I also did better than I thought I would on my langauge test. woot!

yesterday while chatting with the lovely Tor, she had mentioned to me that I don't really blog that much. Here's the reason why. This is the 4th time I've tried to update my blog in the last few days and the browsers keep shutting themselves down. Oh joy for internet explorer!!

Anyhoo. Saturday we did a beach clean up of our training site, now remember, this is literally the most polluted place in the world. Us 50 something people on the beach picked up plastic bottles and handed out little cards explaining that plastic is harmful to the environment. Now if only there was a sanitation and recycling system that would hasten into existence to help the cause!!

The last few weeks have been eventful, last week our group of 54 trainees went down to 52 trainees. Both these individuals will be in my thoughts often over the next 2 years of service.

The weather is starting to cool off slightly. By that I mean that instead of using a fan all night as a blanket, I don't always need to use my fan to stay cool enough to stay asleep any longer. From what I understand the change in the weather is quite dramatic, within the span of 2 more weeks it'll go from blazing sunburning hot everyday to cool/cold weather. I look forward to it. I'd look even more forward to it once I cajole my mommy to send me my winter clothes.

The last HUB day (the day when all the different sectors come together for training sessions) we had a talk from the country director who reminded us of our responsibility as PCVs to comply with PC policies. That includes in many ways, self-censorship of our blogs and emails. Though most of my blogs and emails have been my own genuine observations, this has been something we've been foretold of from the beginning about cyber communication technology and the PC views on it.

I really miss noodles and spicy food. And being able to go out at night. And being able to go places by myself without the unwanted attention from men it draws. Though yesterday when I was buying a diet coke on my way home from the main parts of town, the local shopkeep was saying right in front of my face this and this and this about the japanese girl, to which I said in my haphazard Azeri that I am not Japanese, I am from America and that I will be an English teacher. Needless to say, they were quite surprised.

I can't believe it's less than 10 days until I swear in. More shockingly, I can't believe I haven't balked at this notion of being committed to something bigger than I am for such a length of time. 27 months is quite a while. Though I'm confident I can and will be successful, for the most part anything resembling long-term commitment really freaks me out but I guess that's what I'll use the remaining 25 months to work on with the dramatic personal growth everyone assumes we go through. Seriously folks, as much as we would all like for you on the homefront to believe it's nothing but discomfort and sacrifices, there are some really great moments out here in the 'baijan.

Sites: TEFL has finally gotten their sites!! That is, we now know where us Teaching English as a Foreign Language folks will be. I am going to a place called Siazen, 100 km north of Baku along the Caspian. It is a progressive town that is bounded by the mountains and the Caspian (duh) Sea. I hear that there is a discotech and DSL internet in town....my future host family seems neat. The mother is a Direktor (prinicpal) of a primary school which is really exciting for me in a country where the occupation of a majority of women is "housewife." (And often not entirely their choice) The weather should be a bit cooler and I believe that I am the closest to Baku of all the rayons (regions) that volunteers have been assigned to

PCV vs. English Teacher: well I'm not really a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) yet! as I'm only a lowly PC Trainee (PCT) but I've been thinking more and more about the weight of the differences in being a PCV and an English teacher. More than a few times I've made the statement about what some people have said that, if you wanted something more specific or comfortable and to be teaching English, you shouldn't have signed up for Peace Corps. The PC sees all of us as more "international development worker/volunteers" and we have a lot of sessions about how crucial it is to integrate into communities via langauge, traditions, food, etc. Each week that passes by during PST (pre-service training) deepens our commitments to the PC and the school that have been applying for almost a year to host an American teacher in their schools/communities.

After being here for almost 2 months, my eyes are definitely seeing the amount of development and the work that can be done in this country. Can you imagine restoring hope to mostly apathetic youth of a community? Think of how hard it is to do in America. Now imagine doing it in a place where you have a bare comprehension of the community and culture. Or another thing is that Azeri teachers hope for us to raise and expand Azeri student's worldview. Marriages here are still mostly arranged. Can you imagine introducing the topic of family planning? Development work vs. English teacher. What a world of difference and indescribable feeling.

and now some light hearted tidbits: I learned how to make dolma, one of the most popular (and tastiest) dishes here in Azerbaijan. I'm enjoying teaching the PST language/cultural teachers slang. I even taught one some Vietnamese today and he just got really flustered and realized...this is how you guys feel when you started learning Azeri!! It all sounds the same!! Life without toilet paper really isn't as bad as you imagine. I'm reverting to my traditional Catholic girl in many ways but the mischief banditry is starting to reveal itself...IF you're lucky ;) oh, and care packages from my uncles made me feel extra loved from 12 time zones away. Really folks, this is a very non-subtle hint that any form of mail for us loved ones serving our country and serving a developing country really goes a long way on those rough days when we get sudden stomach cramps that don't always take us to a good place.

at present I am cruising through week 7 of my PST her in the 'baijan. The weather has been over 100 degrees the last few weeks, well it feels that way anyway. Yesterday was the first break we got, it was cool and overcast. Made me miss home. Definitely didn't make me feel any better when a friend from home texted informing me that it was in the lower 80's back in lovely Seattle.

Next week TEFL finally finds out where the cehhenum we go for our site placements. As in, the communities we will be working as formal Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs). Exciting isn't it? Well more exciting than a squat toilet with a really wet mysteriously muddy floor anyway.

My site interview went well I hope, in my opinion the staff here does genuinely want us to be happy and accomodated but with a group our size, they do what they can with regards to the rules governing our region. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst I guess. I told them all my major no-nos, and I hope that will be taken great consideration when they decide where to place me. I tend to really freak out in hot hot weather.

Yesterday I went to a birthday party of one of my buddies here. His host family is amazing, really the epitomy of how I've envisioned the notorious hospitality and warmness of the Azeri people/family. I'm glad that I usually experience something positive with the locals to balance the not so positive "cultural exchanges." Good thing I learned how to hold my tongue better in the home from my mom before I came out here.

at any rate. Azerbaijan is hot. I'm finding my coping strategies here to be not entirely different from ones at home. I miss air conditioning, popsicles, spinach, bacon, and chili paste. Not much more to say til next time!

alrite everyone, I know we've all been waiting for this glorious glorious moment....PICTURES!!! of my life in the azerbaijan.

This is where I got dropped off for my training site. and below is the view from my "Caspian Seaside condo" I live in residual Soviet apt building style housing. Think lots of concrete and not enough windows/ventilation for the desert climate.

here is my host family, my host sister and her daughters. Her husband is currently working in Russia.

Heydar Aliyev is the former president of Azerbaijan, his son is currently serving as president but there are literally billboards of Heydar everywhere. why? not really sure. It sure cuts down on public service announcements though.

And now here are some pics of general stuff in Azerbaijan. I went to this place called Davachi, where there is this castle that dates back to the 5th/6th century. I totally climbed the mountain. It was really hot but I did it! Afterwards we had a lunch where Jeff & Nate (two of my guy buddies) caught bees buzzing around us while we were eating.

and now just shots of friends I'm making out here and a few from the airport in Istanbul. Me & Tor followed by me & katie and now me & carly me & nate again being sassy.

photos can be found here

ok. I promise my next post will have picturs. I'm gonna go buy a flashdrive later today. Until then, it's really pointless to post very much other than that I miss some of you at home!! nah just kidding I miss all of you. And let me bring your attention to the header of my blog. Note my mailing address. Everyone is getting letters and care packages. It makes me feel like no one loves me at home. Letters=good. ^.^