This holiday season was the first I have spent in the States in three years. For the past three years I have spent holidays abroad, in Kyrgyzstan, Russia or Kazakhstan. So this year was a big new step for me; it was a step I knew would have to occur sometime and I think it went well overall. However I have realized that my holidays abroad and my holidays here are very different.

The weather, cutstomes, attitudes, foods, people are all different. That's not to say one is better than the other just that I'm different in both. The holiday fanaticsim here is crazy and hard to handle now and the simplicity of the holidays abroad is appealing but each place is unique and separate. As I was coming back recently from the movies recently I saw landscapes that reminded me of Kyrgyzstan while others was vastly different. This made me realize that nothing can ever be fully integrated. I am one way there and another here. They are separate worlds. Worlds where I know how to act and survive and worlds that are missed and unique in their own ways.

As the holiday season is now over and I look ahead to my next chapter I wonder now where that road leads and how much more of a separate place it will appear.

As my service winds down, its the little things I realize I'm going to miss. For instance, I was in a taxi today and my driver asked me if my father was Kyrgyz. I told him most assuredly no and then the other passengers agreed with him and said my father must be Kyrgyz because I looked slightly Kyrgyz. I told them definitely no and that both my parents are American. However, this experience made me realize that its situations like that which I am going to miss. I doubt if I take a taxi in America I am going to be asked this, or even anything similar. I am not going to see large herds of sheep nonchalantly transversing down our main street while simultaneously swallowing everything in its path. I won't have the various other random encounters that make up my day, such as switching between two languages, negotiating prices, or impromptu parties and events. I will no longer experience the intriguing, and frustrating, aspect of time or have to walk around the various randomly placed piles of dirt along the roads.

Its these little nuances, from the office suddenly losing all pens to the city water being shut off for a ten minute period and randomly being turned back on to having unexpected waves of illness wash over you for a brief period only to randomly disappear. These are the things that cannot ever be fully explained to others. These are the things that enrich our lives and make every day unique and interesting. I know my experience has been better because of them and I am so thankful for them, for without them my experience, my time, would have been vastly different. So what about you? What little things make your life interesting and unique?

Soon, very soon, I will finally finished with my time here in Kyrgyzstan and will move onto something else. What the future may hold, I'm not really sure. I have a lot of ideas and areas that I want to focus on and some more schooling that I'd like to get, but no concrete plans have been made. This is somewhat scary yet exhilarating also. For the first time I have nothing yet to go to and everything open for me. I know that soon my life will change and soon I will be doing something different and just as awesome but for now I'll cherish the openness.

So for now I've begun to try to wrap up my life here in Kyrgyzstan. I recently went and visited my old host family for two weeks and had an awesome time with them. They will truly be missed as they were such an integral part of my life. I also spent time visiting with other important and special people from the village. They all mean a lot me and it was so great to see them all. Now I'm currently finishing up things in Talas and beginning to say good bye to my local friends here.

I know soon my life will involve many new hellos and its those new hellos that will shape the next portion of my life. I don't know where those hellos will come from or from whom but I do know that they will be integral and will continue to mold me even further. These past three years have done that as I noticed with my good byes. I'm now excited to see the hellos.

Attention: this blog post is going to be random, containing many different themes all rolled together.

Recently I began to wonder about my time here in KG. The K 17s have all left and now the 19s are now at site. I have been training my replacement but won't actually leave until October, so its been a little weird being around another American everyday and speaking English so much. However, as she's been asking me questions about my work here during my third year I've begun to wonder more about it. My third year has been so very very different from my first two years. Its like I've had two entirely different experiences. Looking back I'm not sure I've been as impactful, helpful or integrated as I was in the village. I do have more local friends than I did in the village but I also interact more with volunteers than I did before. I don't know if it's living in the city, my work or living alone but at times I'm not really sure how what I'm currently doing here is that much different than it would be in the states. I think part of it is that now at my work I've finally gotten some good projects and work started, just in time for the new vol and just in time for me to leave, so looking back I wonder what did I really do? I've helped my secondary site, yes and definitely impacted my local friends, but it just doesn't feel the same. I don't feel like I've made as significant impact as I had in the village; which in some aspects has been humbling and eye opening. As a volunteer we are not here to be known; we are not here to have the spotlight. Our influence is on a much smaller scale, and usually on the relationship levels, and now more than before I see this and understand it better. Contentment comes in different forms and happens in various ways; so understanding is needed as well as openness and the ability to say, “it's not about me” and to have the foresight to know that we often never see results but they are happening, even if we never know...

Not only has my third year led to different experiences but to a greater understanding of different lives. I'm referring to after PC relationships and how the are maintained or not maintained. During service we often get close to other volunteers and try to stay connected with them after service. But life happens and so friendships change. People stay less connected and sometimes even forgotten. Also non-service friendships change. As the volunteer becomes further removed from the happenings of the US they get forgotten or left behind among their non-PC friends. This is neither good nor bad, but happens as people live different lives and partake in other experiences. It becomes harder and harder to relate and to stay connected. Priorities change, life's general busyness becomes normal and separation happens.

So I know this has been somewhat scattered and not even sure if there's really a point except that life changes and so does everything else. Thoughts?

Recently I was told by a fellow volunteer that I am a very genuine

person. For me, I felt that was an amazing comment; one of the best

I've received but it also made me wonder- what exactly is genuineness

and how can a person be genuine? Is it a state of mind? Actions? Is it

something that is exuded from someone? Can a person learn it? Can it

be obtained or are they born with it? I don't have any of these

answers but would love to hear thoughts. So far the closest that I've

been able to determine is that genuineness is truth. Its being real

and not presenting yourself in any other way. Showing the world that

hey, this is me, accept me or not. I also think genuineness can be

achieved. I think we all have snippets of it throughout our lives but

don't really ever live in it until we are fully confident and free

with who we are. I'm not sure I was always a genuine person and I know

not everyone I've met would agree that I am but I think its an

underlying aspect for who I am.

I'm not sure its any one thing nor is it always present all the time.

I think it can be shown thought actions, words, deeds and many other

things and oftentimes a genuine act goes unnoticed... which is

probably the point. Anyways, I have no answer to this question but was

glad to have received the compliment non the less.Thoughts?

Sometimes I think I've had two completely different experiences here in Kyrgyzstan. For two years I lived in a village on the lake with a host family. I had daily interactions with the people and community. I spoke Kyrgyz everyday and ate Kyrgyz food everyday. I did a lot of guesting and work on a very community based level to combat health problems. Now is completely different. I have my own apartment, cook for myself, live by myself and live in a city. I have less interaction with people and sometimes no interactions with people and I speak much more English than Kyrgyz. I work now on a state level and see less of the community impact than before. So sometimes that makes me wonder... I sometimes feel that my time here has not been one large accumulation of time (3 years) but two different experiences: village and city. People have asked me which I've liked better and because they are so different I can't even really compare. I think on one hand it’s really interesting in a country this small to have had such varied experiences but on the other why should it be so different. The work is similar so why else? Is it really because one was a city and the other a village or is it something more? Is it the difference of community interaction and integration or something else entirely? I do not think I'll ever truly know. Thoughts?

In my old village I didn't have too many local friends. I had my host mom, who was more like an older sister then a host mom, work colleagues and my American site mate. It wasn't really until midway through my second year did I really develop a local friend. Around my age. That is mostly due to the kyrgyz vortex. This vortex is very common especially for women. Basically young girls from the age of 16-24 are sucked into marriage, children, and home. Many times their education is forgotten, discarded, or bought. Even if they do work their family comes first. It’s a hard life. They get up early and go to bed late caring for the family, working, running the household, etc. sadly, especially in villages, it is very difficult to escape this vortex. So as a volunteer, and an american, this vortex can be difficult to deal with. It's oftentimes difficult for women volunteers to have local friends because the girls their age are married, planning to be married, have children, have no time to socialize or are forbidden.

Yet I did end up finding a local friend who is married with a child. Her and her husband became good friends and often did a lot with my site and I. So I know it is possible to escape, or live with the vortex. I wondered, though, when I moved from the village to a city if this would change. I was hoping to have more local friends. For two years I only a two and was wanting to have more, at least more around my age. Thankfully that has happened. I have found myself having at least half a dozen local friends that I daily interact with. All of them speak English in some capacity- not all fluently, so often it’s a mix of Kyrgyz and English and all are between 22-28. Two study at the university, two are married with children and one is a full time worker. Yet despite their differences they are all trying to change their lives and work to become better. However, despite our interactions, despite their progressiveness, they too are still being sucked into the vortex. I noticed it recently with the full time worker. She is in her mid twenties (25) and by kyrgyz standards needs to get married now. For me I see a young woman who is actively working to better herself and her country. She is actively engaged with youth and works heavily in the social sector. She doesn't want to get married yet. She is a strong, independent woman that sees a future for herself. Yet, she is continually getting pressure from her family- father in particular- to step into the vortex. He is actively seeking husbands for her and in this culture she can have terrible repercussions if she says no to his choice. Yet she sees no other choice because here the vortex is stronger, its tradition, its life. There's no escaping it. My two friends whom are married had a similar experience. They were pressured around 23/24 to be married and so had to forgo their plans. My university friends see this. They don't want to have to step into it but really don't see another choice. For me this is sad, and difficult at times. I’m 28 and not married. Kyrgyz people don't really understand why we don't view this as a problem in America. They don't understand why it's ok to not be married or be married later, or to have a choice in our marriage, if we so desire. No matter how we try to explain it never truly sets in.

I’m not saying this vortex is completely wrong, nor does every Kyrgyz person believe in it. I know several amazing men and women that do not. They believe in making your own choices and living their own life but they do always admit that this pressure to “enter this vortex” exists. It can never be truly escaped. It is a part of life here, no matter how progressive you yourself may be. On a smaller scale it is still apparent in America too, especially in the south and midwest. Its not just Kyrgyzstan either, it's a worldwide thing. I'm not sure if there really is ever a way to escape it, or if we should. It’s just an observation that I’ve noticed here. I have no straight answers for it because so much affects it. Yet I do think we need to be aware of the vortex. For, no matter where we are, we are in some way affected by it.

Until next time...

For many people in this country, and I expect throughout the world, special needs people are a sensitive and, often, shameful topic. They are not talked about, helped or properly cared for. Yet they are often the ones most in need. This is true here. Over the last two years I’ve seen special needs people pushed to the margins, forgotten, or ignored. It is considered shameful to have a special needs person and especially to have a special needs child. So sometimes it can be hard to work in this area, when the government, culture and everything else is against you. So when one does find people who truly want to work in this field, with these people it is so uplifting and inspiring.

In my old village, through various activities, I saw this population go from marginalized to known. Now they receive more help, recognition and support. They still have a long way to go but it is exciting to see what has happened in two short years. While I lived there I met some amazing people with big hearts who just wanted to help. Some of these people had special needs children themselves, others did not. They just wanted to share the love and increase awareness. It’s the same in my current city. I've met an amazing organization that goes out to orphanages and day cares with clothes and other items. They have provided funding for projects to special needs places and recently won an award for their work. However, this place is not the ones doing something. I've met people who have created special needs apparatuses for their clients out of household items. I've seen these children thrive by just being talked to, held or noticed. The people that work here receive very little pay and hardly in recognition, yet they come every day and do it. In this country, with its stigma and discrimination towards this population it truly is amazing. They have helped to open my eyes to the potential that exists here and that no matter how bad things can look there are always heroes. These people are just that.

For two years I lived in a small local village. Now for my third year I’m living in a city. Naturally differences between the two have arisen and has given me different perspectives on culture. For instance, food is more readily available, the bazaar is closer, more cafes are available and general Kyrgyzstan-style fast food can be easily acquired. Indoor plumbing- toilets and water- are also more accessible, both at work and home, also electricity is generally always on. However, its not just amenities that are different, it's people too.

I've noticed that people in the city work longer hours, and often attend work more regularly than villagers. This is not saying villagers do not work, they just are often distracted by home issues- such as animals, sickness, etc. People in the city have a tendency to come to work more regularly, despite other outside circumstances. Also they seem generally less inviting. I haven't yet been invited to guest at a coworkers. I think this is because they are busy with other things and unlike villagers guesting does not make up a large part of their lives. There's nothing wrong with this, just something I haven't yet gotten used to. Its also very strange not to hear or see farm animals, nor to have people be working with them. I've noticed that in the city their lives do focus more around work than in other aspects. It's nice to have that for a change but still very strange after two years. Families are important but unlike in the village children are given more opportunities to excel. They have different school choices, from schools teaching English, German or Russian, to a specialized music school. Also unlike many villagers most younger children attend a daycare because both parents are working. In the village usually only one person is working- maybe- and many children do not attend daycare.

Therefore, there is much I am still adjusting to regarding a city verses a village. I enjoy being in a city but it is a very different lifestyle from the one I’ve had for two years. Sure, some cultural aspects remain the same, because they are more deeply ingrained within society but there definitely does exist differences between the city and village. I think its the same in America. Any thoughts?

(I apologize for the delay in posting Dawn's latest blog. You should have seen it a few days ago.)

Apart from being a book and an episode title on LOST, this term, I feel, applies to anyone that has every lived overseas or in an area where they are on outsider, a stranger. One does not have to live overseas to have felt like a stranger; you can often feel like a stranger in your own land. However, for me, and for many others that have done international development work, one often feels a stranger in their serving country and in their land.

When we first set out into the vast realm of international development work we enter with naive expectation and preconceived notions. We often think we know better than the locals, which is often not true. After some time we change, they change, everything changes. Yet no matter how well we truly integrate, no matter how well we speak their language, eat their food, or dress like them, we are never fully them, we are always a stranger in a strange land. For two years I lived in a small rural village, and I became pretty integrated and known, yet a was still a stranger. Now in my new site that is once again the case. Everything is new, fresh and must be relearned. People again stare and wonder. I wonder back and stumble along, knowing I am once again a stranger in a strange land.

Yet, for the general international development worker, we know this, we prepare ourselves for it. Yet, we often fail to forget that we are strangers in our homeland as well. We become vastly changed by our experience and we miss out on events in people's lives. We arrive back to find friends and family in different places than they were when we first left and find ourselves trying to figure out how to insert ourselves into their life, all while trying to cope with what we've been through. We try to share our experience while not really knowing how to and we look at everything through another set of eyes, eyes that no longer belong to the homeland, but not quite belonging to the adopted land, either. Its a conundrum. As we try to pick off where we left off we realize it really is difficult to go back. We are not how we were when we left. We are strangers in some aspects.

Being a stranger in strangle lands is unique and not for everyone. Those who do embark on this path know it is not easy but we do know its challenging and rewarding and one that can truly change. It makes life more interesting and unique. When was the last time you were a stranger in a strange land? Try it... you just might be surprised.

As a Peace Corps volunteer we often deal with differences, both regarding the local culture, people, language, food, etc but within our own community itself. The Peace Corps experience causes one to get close to people they may not normally get close to. This is due to volunteer proximity, and just the basic fact that there are so few Americans in this area. So you develop unlikely friendships and begin to cross lines that you may not have existed. I have seen this during my service here. I have developed friendships with people that I am normally drawn to but also others that are very different from who I am, so different that I probably would never have developed a friendship in the states. They are people from all types of backgrounds, states, beliefs and experiences. We have similarities and many, many differences. Yet, I’ve realized that in order to be successful, to be fulfilled, you need to be able to deal with people no matter how alike or similar they are to you and to willing to lift preconceived judgments and beliefs about people.

For instance, three friendships that have blossomed for me here have developed long after my preconceived notions about them were lifted. They are very different from what I originally thought, and I to them. Its sad how often we left first impressions guide us. We need to be more willing to look deeper, to truly explore the person and not just what they show on the surface. As my experience has shown me here, everyone holds stuff back and never fully show themselves. I do it, we all do and only when the layers begin to be peeled back can the true light begin to show. We must be willing to take a leap of faith, to become vulnerable, to trust, to open up. I recently told a good friend of mine here that I am a very different person than I was before I came. I have developed friendships with many people different from me and it’s made me a much better person; a person better able to handle differences and to accept them.

Recently I met some of the new volunteers in country with a fellow volunteer. This volunteer has become a good friend of mine, but only after I was willing to remove some preconceived notions I had and willing to take a jump. Now she’s someone I can always count on and whenever I’m in her area always visit. We are from very different backgrounds in the states and very different places. So different that we probably would never have really interacted much in the states. However we were together when we met some new volunteers and after spending about 3 hours with them we left. They later told her that they just couldn’t fathom us hanging out together in the states because we seemed so different. It fathomed us both because we couldn’t imagine not. We couldn’t understand what it was they were talking about and/or observing. To us it was natural, as it is to many volunteers who have been in country a while. This experience changes you in ways we ourselves never see but to outsiders it’s noticeable. We become accustomed to differences in all forms and learn how to interact, accept and handle them. We embrace them and they help us to grow into more fully developed individuals. I for one am so thankful for this and know that I have benefited in so many amazing ways from everyones’ differences. As my service is nearing an end I continue to look for them and hope to become even more changed. Will you do the same?

I recently went guesting at a house. The hosts are an amazing young couple that my site mate and I have established a great relationship with. We had such a great time. It was the first time in a long time that we were able to interact with people around our age. Everyone there was under age 30 and eventhough they were married; they were not dominated by it. They all have ambitions and aspirations which is great to see. The two married couples there are all younger and teachers and we have had the opportunity to establish a great relationsihp with them. I look forward to the next chance.

However the real fun came on the way home. We had walked there that evening but when we left it was very dark and late. So the other couple that came took us home in a donkey cart. Yep, a genuine real life metal cart pulled by a donkey. I felt so bad for the donkey because not only is it pulling a heavy metal cart but inside it are 8 people! Then on top of that we're going up hill, around bends, over rocks, etc. I came very close to falling out once and if it hadn't been for my quick reflexes I would have. It was certainly an adventure. I'll do it again in a heartbeat because we were all laughing and having a great time. The donkey ride was a great way to end the evening.

With only 6 more months left in country, I like many fellow volunteers, have begun to look at the impact I’ve made on my site. If just looking at the school, the classes and the system that I sometimes work in then it can be really depressing. There’s no great change that has occurred in that sector. Yes, I do teach two health classes a week when before there was none, but once I’m gone that will discontinue. Will my health organization still continue to teach, I don’t know and I think it’s likely. Do the clubs I run actually provide any major impact to those students that participate? I don’t know and I won’t know during my time here. Sure there are the few outstanding students that have been impacted and will make something of themselves but by just looking at the school it’s not there. There is no new health teacher, nor are the teachers themselves educated on health. So without a health volunteer there will be no health education… how sustainable and life altering is that?

So where then can the impact be seen? I think in two areas: work and family. My work has definitely seen an impact, if only in the forms of “stuff” that they’ve gotten. Sometimes I think the impact I’ve made on them is in obtaining grants. Without a grant they don’t really do anything, so if there is no grant how are they impacting the community. Sure they’ve been able to produce a new juice project and do an environmental project, HIV/AIDS education and several others, but it was all based on grants. Which then leads me to think would any of this have occurred without a grant and is my impact on them only as a grant obtainer. I’ve never been able to implement monthly health seminars for themselves, they need training just as much as everyone. But at least through these grants I have been able to see people’s lives changed (the anemia juice project). They themselves as an organization has seen change in terms of health education teaching. I’ve been able to teach them about interactive teaching, presentations and a large improvement has been noted in their lessons, which is definitely going to impact many people. Also another impact I’ve seen has just been with them learning new information. Through these grants we’ve been able to bring in consultants and other professionals which have only helped their professional development. So although it may look like there may not be much impact, there truly is.

The final are of impact is the family. I do think I’ve had some impact on my host family; I know the previous volunteer did. I’ve been able to develop relationships, educate them and just become a part of their lives in ways I didn’t imagine. I’m not sure what will stay with them but I know something will and by them just having a volunteer for 2 years has been an impact on them in some many ways.

So when it looks like I may not have any areas of impact I can always look at my host family and realize that some has occurred in some ways, and if it’s only one family reached and changed in some small way, well then it’s worth it. Volunteer often think we don’t really make that much of a difference at times but the truth is we do; we just have to look for those special people that prove it.

So I made it to Russia to start a much needed vacation and I can already tell this vacation is going to be so vastly different from what I've ever experienced so far. I had no problems with the flight or airline food, it was good actually. But my issues started as soon as I got off the plane. The directions to my hostel stated to take this certain bus to the metro station and then from there walk down to the hostel. Sounds easy enough... not so much. First i couldn't figure out how to pay on the bus and I stood there for about 5 minutes until a nice Russian lady showed me how to do it. Then I kept freaking out thinking that I had missed the stop because there were no signs and I couldn't hear what was being said. I finally braved my very bad Russian and asked a lady where this stop was. Thankful it's the last stop on the bus route so I wouldn't have missed it. She then lead me to the station but I was once again forced in my horrible Russian to ask for one ticket, which actually I said right. Ironically the Moscow subway system is very, very easy to figure out and I was so nice to be able to sit on a subway and be outside, where it had started to sleet and snow. So I'm pretty proud of myself at this point, I've arrived at the right station and now just have to find the hostel. This was not easy. First they didn't say which way to go out of the station so I had to figure it out then I couldn't find the road to turn onto, and still don't fully understand how you will with the directions they've written. So again, in very, very, very bad Russian I asked people where this road was and finally, 1 1/2 later arrived. So after arriving into Moscow at 8:30 I finally get to the hostel at 12:30! And here I thought I'd left the Kyrgyz/Soviet time thing behind.

However I realized that I've already begun to experience serious culture shock. i about flipped out when I saw an IKEA on the side of the road and almost ran out the 7 floor mall that was filled with 5 floors of clothes, it had way too many people for me. But I think the biggest shock has been language so far. The people at the hostel speak English well and my Russian is not great, which I know, but I'm able to do basic stuff mostly. However, today that was quickly exhausted and ironically, instead of replying in English, which you would think would be natural, no I'm replying in Kyrgyz! Why! So not only are people looking at me because my Russian is broken and bad but I'm throwing out these non-English words to then suddenly replying once again in English... it's like I'm possessed or have ADD. Poor people. It's interesting and strange.

Tonight, I've turned in early because I've been up for a long time and so am staying in.The next two nights I'll be out and I begin bright and early tomorrow morning. Wish me luck! Russia is what I expected and not. It's definitely first world which has shocked me and pleased me at various times. Oh all of you worried about me being cold, don't be. I'm actually hot because I'm so used to trying to stay warm in Kyrgyzstan. I get funny looks about why I'm not wearing socks! More to come from the Russian federation.

The life of a PCV is very surreal at times. There are times when you're riding in a taxi with no shock absorbers, no windows and tape on the door and realizing you're having a good, solid conversation with a local. You then look out that same non-window to realize you're in a different country with different homes, people and food and you suddenly realize that, yeah, life is surreal and strange, and fascinating all at the same time. Sometimes it's the out of body experience that we notice. It's like we're looking at ourselves doing something so completely different that we can't help but wonder if it's truly us.

I've had several of this recently. I was on my way in a marshuka (a mini bus, which have by the way caused me to acquire motion sickness, something I never had before) and we were driving incredibly fast around the mountains. I was watching the entire time and not once did I get scared or worried that we could die. Only last year this sort of thing would have made me jumpy. But no, there I was looking at the speeding ravines, cliff drops and vaguely following a conversation some locals were having in Kyrgyz behind me. I then suddenly realized," Wow, this is surreal." Sadly I don't even do justice to what I'm trying to say because it's like living two lives yet one at the same time and not totally understanding or recognzing what one life is doing.

I've had many moments like this during my time and know several more will come, like going out at 9pm to cut down a "christmas tree" with a fellow volunteer, or starting to speak Kurgusha (a mix of Kyrgyz and Russians, which locals do all the time) or even calling it "the Kyrgyz and "the Russian" which is also done by locals. Finally, realizing that today I only wore two shirts and a sweater, plus my fleece was good... that meant it was a warm day! Those all add up to surreal moments for me.

I hope this has made some sense, if not sorry; I tried. Look out for surrealism in your life and grasp it when you can...

Over the last two years a new tradition has developed for me regarding Christmas day. Here in Kyrgyzstan Christmas is not celebrated in the same way it is in the states or in Europe. Families do not get together to hand out gifts or celebrate. There is Santa and a tree but it's all for New Years, which is the big party. So last year my Christmas as chaotic, weird and different. Kids were in school, new years school parties were going on and i couldn't find a time to give them presents. No special meal and I actually had to work on it.

This year was different, the second year of a PCV always is. I understood the traditions and cutstoms of the people and understood their language and suddenly I saw a new tradition developing. Last year and this year on the 25th the school help their class wide New Years class party. Each class from 1st- 11th form is responsible with participating and doing a concert. Last year i went but didn't really understand what was happening, especially with the older classes in the evening. This year it was so much better. I understood the skits (mostly), the dances, songs and prizes. I even was part of the jury panel for the older kids (I got to say which class did best in the different categories). After it was all over I went back home any my host mom had made my favorite Kyrgyz dish, lagmann for me. It was then that I gave them their gifts, and they said they were great rememberance ones. So for me, my christmases have definitely been memorable and so I'm a little sad that I won't have this new tradition next year. Oh well... maybe we can recreate another one.

“Your Kyrgyz is very good.” “You understand very well but they won’t understand you.” “You don’t speak with an accent.”

These are all expressions that I’ve received recently regarding my language and they’ve come from different sets of people. So sometimes I wonder why it is that people I don’t interact with on a daily basis understand me really well and those that I do interact with daily don’t. Language is such a vital part to any volunteer’s life and yet it can also be a source of worry and strife. It can be extremely frustrating when you can’t really explain yourself, or there is a lack of words to truly describe what you want to say- such is the case with Kyrgyz. Yet, locals don’t really understand it and so they often get more frustrated when you can’t clearly communicate; it, at times, is a very vicious circle.

Yet, for me, it seems that my Kyrgyz is really good, from what I’ve been told, but yet don’t understand why certain people have such a hard time with me. Maybe it’s the accent, maybe my sentence structure, who knows, but it’s interesting. I can communicate effectively most of the time and even discuss health terms usually. So I feel good about my language and where it’s at. This is why I’ve started the hard task of learning Russian, which is so incredibly hard. But, I’ve set a goal that I want to reach when I COS so hopefully I’ll make it. After my time here I’ve learned really how important language can be and how much it can help with life. We are made to communicate and we all have different forms. So understanding that form only enhances life. Language is life.

I recently did another round of Kyrgyz Ait, where I go to various houses around the village and have at least one cup of tea and some food. This is done twice a year after the end of Ramadan (for one month Muslims fast from sun up to sun down). I had only participated one other time in Ait, and that was with my family. So this time I decided to do it on my own so that I could leave when I wanted and decided the number of homes I’d visit. So I decided I’d do my work circuit… visit the 8 VHC homes and call it quits…

12 houses later I’m finally finished with a fully belly, drunken lots of china and eaten lots of bread. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated because I knew the homes and people that I visited and as I went along I ended doing it with work people so I didn’t have to deal with formalities as much and they were just as anxious to be done as I was.

So all in all, Ait is not the greatest because it quadruples my tea intake for the day but it was nice this year to better understand what was occurring and to feel like I actually had a place. I didn’t plan on the 12 houses but it was still nice to visit.

So I’ve recently realized one thing… there are certain aspects about my character that don’t really change, no matter the culture. In particular, I’ve realized that, for the most part, I’m a listener in this culture as well as my own. This revelation came about when my host father was talking to me about a household issue. He had really only talked to his wife about it but ended up telling me the situation as well. I wondered at first if that was because I just didn’t really know what to say, my language is good but there are still times I don’t know how to say stuff in Kyrgyz. But then he told me he never really talked to the other volunteer who previously lived with them like this either. So that got me thinking. Then my host mom has begun to talk to me a lot about many different things and she never really talked to Jason that much before either. Next my counterparts just started sharing and I found myself once again nodding and saying “really”, “ok”, etc. I knew this happened back in the states quite a bit but wasn’t sure if it would happen here because of language and culture. But it has, so I find it interesting. So just realize that no matter how you change or where you find yourself there are certain things about you that will never fully change. And I definitely am glad for that.

As a PCV I am often faced with many challenges. Sometimes these are issues because of culture, food, language; other times they are personal issues that are heightened because of the situation. Recently I had an experience that was both so completely frustrating in one aspect but yet made me impressed in another aspect.

Recently my organization finally conducted their environmental clean up project. Now what must be realized is they had been trying to do this project since April but were not able to because of funds. Finally, after many other problems and frustrations they received the money in July and I thought they would do the project that same month. No, after changing the date 3 times they decided to conduct it while I was on vacation down south. Needless to say I was really mad at them about this because I had written their grant, gotten their donors, went with them to buy everything and I wasn’t even going to be allowed to participate! I explained this to them and they then decided to change it to the Sunday I got back from vacation, although, they kept trying to hurry me back from vacation (which I hadn’t had since I’d been in country, and as anyone serving as a PCV knows are vitally needed). So I arrive back at site and realize that once again the date had been moved to the following Saturday. I was skeptical but after seeing their preparation work realized they might actually conduct the project.

While I was gone they had printed up the t-shirts, prepared the signs for the trucks, printed off really nice invitations and delivered them to key people and had done all the contacting and talking with them. So I was impressed by that. During this last week they had talked with all the participating students, invited governmental leaders, Peace Corps and various others from the area. They had done it all (I didn’t have to remind them of anything, which was really nice). So the day arrives and of course we have bad weather, but it didn’t deter them. They put on a really great presentation at the community center about why it’s important to protect the environment and invited all the students from the school to attend. They had 1 other neighboring VHC bring students and then we went out and cleaned not just my village but several others as well that they had contacted. Television reporters appeared and interviews were conducted. Then they served food for everyone... and they outdid themselves with the food.

So although I had so many frustrations with them leading up to the project they did an amazing job and they were so happy to be able to do it. Working at a VHC can be very frustrating at times but at other times very rewarding. This project was a combination of both and showed me more about myself and the Kyrgyz culture. I’m glad I was able to help them out and was so impressed by how well they all pulled it off. They are great people and this project let them show that. So despite some of the problems the outcome was good and that is really all the matters. It was definitely a learning process for both sides and has made us all better and this was just one project… their latest project, geared towards anemia, they actually built a new office for it….

After 1 year here’s what I’ve become used to and what I may have problems with back in the USA:no microwave: gotten used to semi warm food or cold leftovers wearing the same work outfit for an entire week: partly it’s because I’ve gotten lazy, another because it’s just easier and also because I don’t have enough clothes for a different day of the week washing my hair once or twice a week going weeks without a “bath” flies: really they’re everywhere starting everything at least 30 minutes after its “scheduled” time every child saying “hello” to me my cat constantly sitting on my lap trying to grab for bread power shortages very bad roads marshukas: be thankful for the transportation options in the states; they really are good distilled water: I think I’ve forgotten what a tap, and tap water, is electric shocks: if you’ve seen the “power outlets” here you’d understand homemade jam: it’s really really good bread and tea for two meals a day backyard gardens: it’s really great to be able to go pick one’s own apples, apricots, pears or raspberries students standing up when a teacher enters (although it’s always a little weird when this happens) hearing, and sometimes speaking, 3 languages: Kyrgyz, English, Russian 2 prong plugs, really what’s the need for the 3rd? deodorant, toothpaste, lotion, toothbrushes costing over $3 (for a volunteer this is expensive) a seasonal diet: really be thankful that in the states this is not a problem excellent medical care: it’s actually the best I’ve ever received, and it’s free: how many of you can say that? Non-smiling Kyrgyz pictures: they don’t smile in pictures Gold teeth: it takes getting used to but definitely grows on you Tea all the time, no matter season, time or occasion 3 land topography: beach, desert and mountains, it’s actually really unique and cool Russian TV and music Not flushing toilet paper down a toilet, throwing it into a basket to be burned No trash cans

There is a lot more that I currently cannot think of… hope you’ve enjoyed the above!

Being a PCV means you constantly deal with another culture, langauge and beliefs on a daily basis. It can mean living in conditions you've never experienced before and coping with situations you've never anticipated. You truly learn about yourself and others. However, one of the most surprising things that many volunteers are often faced with this another sub-culture that exists in any PC country: the Volunteer culture. This culture is entirely consists of the volunteers and is often seen whenever large groups of volunteers interact together. For those of us not living in areas that have large amounts of volunteers these interactions can be hard and diffucult at times. Especially, as more time passes and you become more familiar with your site, work and the general absence of volunteers. Sure I have an amazing site mate an a few other volunteers are close by but I'm constantly surrounded by locals. Therefore, the volunteer sub-culture can at times be overwhelming.

Just imagine seeing maybe, one to three volunteers a week or every two weeks and then suddenly having ten Americans in your village for ten days staying with you. It's overwhelming. Are antics, speech, mannerisms and behaviors are so different from that of locals and at times it can be hard for volunteers to interact with each other. Also, in a small country such as this it can be difficult to distance onself entirely from the volunteer sub-culture. It's not bad having other volunteers around; we all have days when we just need to be to effortlessly speak our native tongue or have our culture understood. What is interesting is how the volunteer sub-culture is so vastly different from the daily culture we are exposed to and how that can at times itself be difficult to understand and deal with. Americans are different for the Kyrgyz people and each volunteer is different from others. We learn to live with a culture that is not our own and yet sometimes have trouble living within our own. Being a volunteer can be a very tricky. Anyone want to try?

This week my 11 year old host sister completely surprised me; she gave me a glimpse into this country’s future and it was a good one to see. For a while she had been asking me if she could help work with the invalid population that we have in the village. I told her yes and we would talk to my boss about it. I had put off that meeting for a while because I kept forgetting and other things kept creeping up. However, once I returned from the capital she asked me again and I saw the longing in her eyes. I committed myself to set her up with a meeting with my boss to talk about how she could help. This week we had that meeting and she amazed me. My boss can be a hard person to talk to at times, she can be direct, abrasive and sometimes, especially for children, scary. But, Nurlia was wonderful. She explained how she had this idea to help with this population and why it was important for her to do this. She stated she knew it’s important to volunteer and that’s what she’s wanting to do (this all from an 11 year old and in a country where volunteerism hardly exists)! So together they made an action plan. My boss told her to acquire 5 more students and they would provide the means. Then together we would all work with these children 2 times a week .

My host sister was excited and together over the course of two days we talked with students around her age and compiled a list of names. We then established a meeting time to prepare a work plan with the VHC people. Unfortunately the students were not able to attend the meeting, which is a common problem here, but my host sister took it well and still agreed to create a work plan with my director. Together they talked, agreed and created a plan that those 6 students will use for the future. I was impressed and helped her as much as she wanted, but it was all her.

In a country where the family is the primary focus, volunteering to help others is not given much thought. Outside commitments are often not kept but my host sister has shown me how that can change. She took it upon herself to call and check on the other students. She came up with the list of students and she explained to all of them, and their parents, what this project is about. It is her vision and idea. For an 11 year old it’s impressive, and for me, a really great sign of what is in store for her future, and perhaps for her country’s. Just realize that while she’s doing this she also must deal with her chores and duties from home, as all of these kids must do. During summer especially they have much additional work laid on them and Nurila, as well as the other 5 students, are willing to deal with that. I think it’s a mark of their maturity and willingness to do something for others. I really hope for Nurila’s sake it all works out. There will be problems and struggles, we’ve already had some, but I think she’ll persevere. It’s a good indication of what’s to come.

So what exactly is community integration? What does that mean? How do people know when you’re there and gone? Do people miss you and wonder what you’re doing and where you’re at?

In the States community integration is a funny term because we have so much technology available to us that we can stay easily connected. Plus we are an individualistic society to becoming fully integrated into our surroundings is not part of our culture. Also, we have so many large cities and towns that it is impossible to be fully integrated into them. Sure, small groups of people know us and know when we leave and invite us over, but as a whole it doesn’t really happen.

As a PCV one of our tasks is to be integrated into the community. This helps keep us safe and also helps us do our work better. Sometimes this integration can be stressful, everyone knows the two Americans and if anything happens everyone knows. Yet it can also be hard at times because we are constantly hindered by culture. Even know, after almost a year, we are still the honored guests and we are still hindered by language and various other cultural aspects. We often are not allowed to help prepare the food for major events and are still at times treated like guests rather than natives. Also, even though this village is small it is still really hard to become integrated because there are so many areas we can never fully integrate into. We can’t really interact too much with men because of culture and women our age are usually married and don’t want to associate with us. The culture of family here prevents us so much from full integration and also our general distaste for parties also makes it hard.

However, overall though I think the biggest areas of integration have come with our families. We both feel like we’re part of them and are integrated into them. They are our biggest supporters and people that we work with and see the most. They are the ones, I think, will benefit the most and will be the most cherished. Through them we integrate and that’s fine. So we may not be the most “native” in country but I think we’re just fine. Besides integration is no easy task… try it for yourself and see.

I’ve already begun to notice many things that I will have to get used to when I go back to the States. Some of them are significant and some are humorous but all are true.

peanut butter- I’ve gotten used to all natural here, and it’s wonderful, and so I think I’ll have to go with that back in America

toilet paper- the stuff here is a lot of crepe paper, not very soft- so I’m not sure what I’ll do with soft, white stuff

equality- women here are definitely not treated equally, although they are the ones that run the household and usually have jobs

trash cans- not really existent here so it’s going to be a sight to see, and to use them

flushable, indoor toilets- although I’ve realized that at the time the outhouse is better, but squatting does take it’s tole after a while, but I’m not sure I’ll remember to flush the toilet paper in the toilet instead of in a wastebasket

no power problems- in the states I won’t have to worry about power outages, non grounded lines, lack of good quality sockets nor random sparks- that will very nice

English- it’ll be weird to speak it again all the time and I have a feeling it’ll be bad when I first get back into it

time- for good or bad time is very different here. Some days it’s incredibly frustrating but other days nice to have a more relaxed feel and pace, so going back into the hustle and bustle of America will be weird

reliable transportation- not really existent here so having reliable transportation will be wonderful

cooking- once again I’ll have to cook again for myself, which I’ve realized I’m not that great of a cook. I’ve grown accustomed to having meals prepared for me so I’m not sure what I’ll do when I have to cook on my own

no kids- I won’t have my host siblings around anymore. That will be interesting…

food variety- there is definitely a lack of variety in diet and it’ll be nice to have that once again

raisins and apricots- I eat these all the time everyday and so I think I won’t want them

showers- it’ll be nice, but weird at first, to be able to shower everyday

no power struggles- power between people, groups and organizations does exist but it’ll be nice not be inadvertently pulled into it with no chance for defense

no sheep meat- Yay!

hot water, shoot water indoors- I look forward to not having to go get water from buckets all the time

stores- yeah be thankful you can run to a store at any time of the day and get anything you need, that doesn’t exist here

lined paper- it’s a big deal and it missed

dollars- I’ve think I’ve forgotten how those work, it’ll be nice to use them again

long, fluffy beds- I’m short and there are times when I hit the end of the bed, plus they’re not really that comfortable

beautiful scenery- this place is beautiful and really no matter what season or time it’s gorgeous

people- the people here have their faults and sometimes it can be hard to interact with them but they are unique and will be missed, they are also very beautiful

cell phone units- I’ve actually gotten used to the whole buy units as you go and really like it, I really don’t want to go back to a plan

church- there are English churches in the capital but none near where I live. It would be nice to be able to go at times

mirrors- long mirrors really don’t exist- it’ll be nice to see all of me again

paved roads, roads in general- the roads here are bad, some, like in my village are not paved, they will once again be appreciated

driver’s licenses- people here need driving school, enough said

mountains and hiking- this is a great country to explore, climb mountains and hike- that will be missed

animal noises- sheep baying outside my window, dogs barking and attacking, donkeys baying- all will be missed.

On March 21 we celebrated a holiday called Nooruz. It is the Muslim New Year and is considered a big celebration. I was a little apprehensive about this because all the parties I’d been too so far I hadn’t enjoyed. This was because of several reasons. Firstly, they are always at a house of people I don’t know where I sit around for four to five hours with no one to talk to and nothing to do. Then I feel even more stupid because I’m the guest of honor and yet just usually sit there like a bump on a log.

So leading up to this one I didn’t know what to expect except that it was going to be at my family’s house and they had to prepare lots of food. The day before they were up to all hours of the night making the food and I again felt really useless because there wasn’t much for me to do. I couldn’t help with the cooking or preparations. So I pretty much hid in my room. That morning I did help set up the tables and set out the candy, cookies and salads. But there were still lots I couldn’t. So partly to stop feeling useless and to get out before everyone came I went to the local club where they were having a concert. This concert was one of the strangest and yet best concerts that I’ve been to yet. It was very short and done completely by the children of the school and hardly any parents were there It was very Kyrgyz in the lack of people paying attention or being respectful while they were on stage yet is was still good and I did enjoy it.

As I was walking home I was nervous about the upcoming party. I didn’t want to have to sit there for hours and eat the food while the rest of my family did the preparations and everything else. Thankfully it didn’t turn out that way. There weren’t that many people there and so that helped and it was right next to my room which allowed me quick escapes whenever I needed it. Plus I have a computer that plays movies so the kids wanted to watch this Russian cartoon on my computer which was fine. That kept me gong in and out the entire time. Plus since I was in familiar settings I was able to help out more than usual and to show pictures of my family, friends and America, which they love here. The food was good and once it was done I realized I had actually had a good time. Surprise surprise.

Everyone has good days and bad days. When you live overseas this is especially true. You have days when you love everything about the country, people and culture. There are other days when all you want is for them to tell you in English what they are trying to say. There are times when you just want to say something back and just get away for a while. There are times when the brain hurts, times when the body hurts and times when everything hurts. Everyday gives more expectations and disappointments. Some days your work will treat you well and other times horribly. You will be blamed for things because language is an issue or may not be able to defend another volunteer because of cultural restraints. Miscommunication and lack of understanding are constant themes in everyday life and chaos is ever present. Some days the constant baying of the animals at all hours of the day drives you mad, yet can cause great surprises.

For every slump there is a rise. Every new challenge gives new lessons and greater outcomes. Life is not easy; the life of a Peace Corps Volunteer is even harder, yet full of amazing challenges. No two days are the same and each day provides both slumps and triumphs. What must be learned is how to deal with those challenges and not let them fester and torment. That does happen and it’s sad to see. Yet by recognizing what is really there, what is within your control and out of your control will help conquer any slump. Sure physical difficulties are different from mental which are different from emotional but each one can be conquered. Slumps are not easy to overcome and no matter where you reside can shape the course of your life. For us, as volunteers, they can be really devastating and so we learn how to cope and deal. It’s not easy and some days are just bad, no matter what you do. Other days are great and are therefore even more enjoyed. So therefore, consider the day. How will you handle problems, slumps? Just remember there is something good in each day and every slump, every challenge can be overcome… it’s the Peace Corps way!

Today after work and English lessons with my family I was given the chance to help bring in the sheep from the pasture. Having never lived on a farm I was excited about this opportunity because I could once and for all satisfy my unending curiosity regarding where the sheep actually come from every night. I hear them outside my bedroom during the night but then around 10 in the morning they go away with their other sheep friends to graze “far away”. Since I got to site I’ve been wondering where this “far away” place is; now I had the chance. I thought I’d only have to wait maybe ten minutes and then we’d bring them up our street and into the yard and be done. How totally and completely wrong I was, and how very typical of a Peace Corps experience it truly became- expect the unexpected and be willing to go with the flow.

So thinking I’d only be outside for about 15 minutes at the most I grab my lighter coat and no scarf; I was smart enough to grab my hat otherwise I’d be in a really bad pickle. About one hour later the sheep finally come in from the grazing field. I was shivering and cold and yet when the first batch walked past me with the setting sun and the mountains and lake in the background I couldn’t help but think it really was a beautiful site. Plus for some unexplainable reason I had a funny thought as the sheep walked past me. Here were lines and rows of sheep walking one behind the other patiently waiting to get to their destination and my brain thought of this,” it’s like Kyrgyz traffic, instead of cars like in America it’s herds of sheep.” (You all probably don’t think it’s funny but it makes me smile). What really made me smile was just how smoothly and efficient this process worked. The sheep came, stopped, and waited. Walked when told to and went to the right homes. People came out when they heard the sheep coming, opened their gates and in went the sheep. It was like magic. But the really funny thing was the looks on people’s faces that I got as I was walking with lots of sheep. My family was with me as we were making sure all of our 41 sheep safely returned to the fold. We had sticks and were looking around for our “green circled angle” sheep (the sheep have a green circle painted on their heads- each family does it to distinguish theirs). As I am walking past students that I have, neighbors and coworkers kids I kept seeing one expression, “what is the American doing with the sheep and she looks really funny holding a stick and trying to round up the sheep.” I myself couldn’t help but laugh at what must be a very humorous site.

Finally the sheep arrive at our yard and suddenly it’s realized we have one sheep missing. Uh oh, that’s a bad sign because here sheep are very valuable and can bring much money and goods to a family. So now we have the task of trying to find our lost sheep. (Sounds slightly like a biblical story, right?) We go to our neighbor’s house and nope it’s not there. We continue up and down the various streets for well over an hour. (By now the sun has set, I’m shivering and very cold and still no sheep). The entire family is out looking for this one lost sheep and even though I know it’s valuable I can’t help but think, “just give it up, it’s not use”. We finally do and proceed to the house.

My host dad then informs me that he is sending my host brother back over to the first neighbor’s house to see if they have it. I don’t understand why but my host brother comes back and says that yes they do have it and will bring it over. My host family then proceeds to tell me this neighbor is known to be “crazy” at times and has in the past stolen clothes off my family’s clothes line (why, don’t ask). Apparently because the sheep was a little one (it’s like a Billy goat) he didn’t see it and so didn’t know he had it. If that’s the real story I don’t know but it happens both here and in the States as well.

All I can say is it’s all about sheep. They help with livelihoods and are very precious to the people. They provide for adventures and gave me one that I was not expecting. Hopefully next time it won’t be such an ordeal (I think I’m supposed to go and get them tomorrow, yikes!)

Sometimes is hard to believe that I am in the Peace Corps. I’m sure many of you, like me, automatically think of Africa, Southeast Asia or South America when you think of Peace Corps. Honestly I did too and was almost positive I was going to Africa, particularly because I have a master’s in public health. I was given the choice, however- which again is rare, of either Africa or Central Asia. I choose Central Asia and then through another set of unusual circumstances my departure time was moved up early so that I could come to Kyrgyzstan. So what do I think of that decision? It’s been a great one.

However there have been times when I do think, “Am I really in Peace Corps?” Part of this is because PC publication is very heavy on promoting Africa and various other places; Central Asia is not heavily promoted. Plus on the whole Central Asia volunteers, at least in Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan, do have it a lot easier than other volunteers in some places. For instance some of the volunteers here do have indoor plumbing, indoor hot water and indoor toilets. They have apartments, not a nice as some in the states and not as bad as some either. We all have actual homes made of stone, mortar and keep out the elements. We have electricity- maybe not all the time, but we have it most of the day. If we don’t have water in our house we have easy access to it. Some of our families have televisions, DVD players, radios, computers, microwaves, stoves, ovens, etc. We never go hungry nor do we have to worry about food; there’s always plenty of it, if not in the greatest variety. Finally, on the whole we are not that far from other volunteers, no more than two hours at max from another. Therefore, with all of this it can, at times, feel very hard to believe one is in the Peace Corps.

I’ve got two amazing rooms, my own kitchen and an awesome family and village. I don’t cook, unless I want to, which isn’t often, and I’m feed regularly, pretty healthily and abundantly. My work is great, frustrating at times but still awesome. I live near the lake and am within walking distance of it. An hour car drive away and I’m in the mountains. It’s a beautiful area but also not without trials. I don’t have running water in my house and we do have water shortages at times. Power does get turned off during the day and at night and I do have to use an outdoor toilet, although it’s one of the better ones in the village. I don’t have a stove, microwave, or anything like that but that doesn’t mean the food is not cooked well. White bread, black tea and sheep fat are staples to diets here but one learns to deal. Chairs with backs are hard to come by, they are very expensive and so are actual table and desks like in the states. During the warm weather I do have to worry about spiders in my room but they are easily taken care of. Also, sometimes we’ll see a mouse running around and I am constantly aware of the huge amounts of animal droppings that are everywhere. Yet, despite these few hardships I have it very easy. I can use my laptop whenever I want without fear of it getting ruined. I can watch movies or read books on my bed or couch or armchair. I can plug in my cell phone, laptop and heater most of the time and I never have to worry about the outdoor elements coming into my house.

So you can see how at times it could be hard to believe you’re in PC, and I don’t even live in a city. But, it’s more than just outside exterior too that can make you wonder at times. Every volunteer goes through the thinking of why are they here? In particular this usually arises during a time when they are not working or having a rough patch. I think, when those times arise, it’s almost easier to get an answer is places like Africa. You can visibly see the challenges that you overcome and even the differences that are being made. Here, because we do have so much, but yet don’t, those lines are blurred. It can be difficult at times to know if you are making a difference, especially when culture is considered. Also, when there is nothing for you to do can make you wonder. Currently because of weather many of the English teachers are not in school. So they have ample free time. Some of them have taken vacation and yet many, I’m sure, have wondered why they traveled all this way to do nothing. No matter what the reasoning for joining PC was, every volunteer, I think, has a small amount of idealism in them. When things change or don’t happen that idealism, those reasons, can be shaken. Yet, this doesn’t just occur here in Kyrgyzstan but occurs everywhere that a volunteer- or for anyone living outside of their home country.

It is often stated that being a Peace Corps volunteer is the “toughest job you’ll ever love”. It is very tough. Not only is very country different and has unique challenges to overcome but you have to deal with so much other stuff everyday, day in and day out. Comparisons to other places never help and can make volunteers wonder and contemplate. Language, culture, food, jobs, other volunteers and families all take their tolls and again are challenges. Yet each provides a time to learn and gain new perspectives. My site mate recently told me she’s learned so much about people skills in her short time here, and that is just one of many lessons. So while being a PC volunteer in Kyrgyzstan may not be as difficult physically as in other places, the mental challenges are all the same. So friends, don’t just automatically think of Africa when considering the PC. Remember volunteers are everywhere and we each have unique experiences and challenges. So until next time…

More Lessons Learned:

- sheep can walk on two legs

- size really doesn't matter

- a martshuka always has room for more people

- guesting can literally take all day

- clothes are not considered dirty until you've worn them for three consecutive weeks straight

- washing hair once a week really is no big deal

- besh barmak really gets your hands dirty

- most dogs here are really mean

- lined paper is a non-existent

- mechanical pencils do not exist

- pens never work

- people still think you speak Russian even though you've had a 30 minute conversation in Kyrgyz

- there are no street signs

- water is a valued, and scarce, commodity

- everyone is a farmer

- no heat, no school for three months

- regional dialects stink

- time here is so completely different than the states, yet no one seems bothered by it

- oranges in winter are heaven

- soup in winter gets very old very quickly

- borsak is not all it's cracked up to be

- people can change here, the smallest word, or deed can make a difference

- there's way too much candy

- most people look way older than they actually are

- Kyrgyz story books do not exist

- language is a never ending battle

- dogs can give hugs

- rooster meat is yummy

- children are children no matter where

- they love to dance

- privacy is precious

- I do live in a fishbowl

- not having a boyfriend is a hard concept to understand

- I have many potential matchmakers

- they think I'm a doctor even though I constantly say I'm not

- a hot banya is amazing a warm one, not so much

- tea gets really old really fast

- juice is awesome and worth the price

- they eat a lot of bread, I mean tons

- cats eat bread, not other food

- my room is awesome

- classes here are interesting

- health is a foreign concept

- lots of problems abound

- it's a very generous community

This last week I have been in the capital because of training. It was a nice time for many reasons. One of the primary ones being that for an entire week I was able to have hot running water and electricity all the time. Woohoo! Plus I got good food and got lots more movies from other volunteers. The training itself was well and both my counterpart and I learned a lot. When I go back to site this week we'll talk about everything that we learned and hopefully begin to put it into practice. I got some great ideas for secondary projects and hope to begin incorportating those as well. I finished several grants and now am awaiting the response from Peace Corps and others. It was a good week except I came to one conclusion, traveling around the city really stinks. It's not easy and you have to know where you're going in order to get there. I'm slowing learning it but it's really hard because there are no street signs and none of the public transportation methods tell you where you are. You just have to get on and off at the right place. But, such is life.

However, what really made my day was my when I took my Kygryz language test this last week. At IST the test is optional and at PDM (in March) we are all required to take the test again. Well I wanted to take it this time partly because I'm a nerd but also because I know my language has gotten better and I wanted to see how much I had progressed. People in the village had said it was better and in December much of the language started to begin to really click with me (it helped that my site mate was gone for about two weeks and all I could speak during that time was Kyrgyz). So I took the test and seemed to do well during it. My testor was able to understand me and everything flowed really well. So he has me finish and then tells me that I'm much better than I was at the end of PST and that I sound much more natural and everything flows better. He says I sound like a local, yay! I'm thinking nice, Intermediate High, awesome. He then tells me I jumped two levels and went from intermediate mid to advanced low! I was floored. I knew I had improved but didn't think I had improved that much. Also because there's still loads I have trouble saying but he told me I jumped into the advanced category and he also told me that it's rare for people to jump from the intermediate level to the advanced level in a span of three months. So woohoo!! I was happy and excited and shocked.

So the moral.. come visit because I can probably translate better than I originally thought. :)

Kyrgyzstan Randomness:

- snow doesn’t keep animals from eating the grass, they somehow seem to find it

- I am now considered a Kyrgyz girl because of my new Kyrgyz winter hat and coat

- sometimes, at night, with the moon shining on our barren trees it reminds me of some weird, twisted scary place that would be put in a movie

- a bucket full of snow makes very little water

- dogs will fight for no apparent reasons

- my room is very toasty

- hygiene is the first thing to go in winter

- holidays are a good time for food

- my language has gotten loads better, although I still can’t say a lot

- I can now be funny in Kyrgyz!

- sometimes culture and culture practices are not understood

- I don’t remember children’s names

- I have the hardest time understanding schoolchildren, especially the ones who get louder and talk faster when you ask them to talk slower

- people here love to dance and have their picture taken

- the internet is precious

- traveling is a hassle

- no matter their way of life people have amazing ideas and are very insinuative

There is a newly posted 'Friendly Places' link in the left column. It is titled 'erinluabroad' and is the blog of fellow Peace Corps volunteer, Erin. Just "click" and enjoy!

10/ 16/ 08

So here in Kyrgyzstan they have a society based on age. The older you are the more respect you receive. They even have titles for it: “Eje” and “Byekay”. For instance, I call my counterparts Aral Eje and Gulmyra Eje because they are older than me. However, Erin I call Erin, not Erin Eje, because she is around the same age as me. So anyone around your age, or younger, you do not have to give the titles. Those older you do. Sounds easy enough right? Wrong. The weird part is with families and school children, at least it throws me every time. My siblings call me Dawn Eje because I’m older than them and it’s a sign of respect. That’s not too weird for me because it reminds me of “Auntie Dawn” with my nieces and nephew at home. However, the weird part is when I’m at the school and I have 17 year olds calling me Eje or Dawn Eje. It just throws me every time because it makes me think of the older women. I know it’s a sign of respect but it just throws me for a loop every time. I always do a double take whenever a young person calls me that and it’s not family. Oh well, it’s something I’ll quickly get used to and probably end up liking.

So on an entirely different note I want to talk about some discrimination Erin and I received here in country. Oftentimes in other countries Americans will encounter the rich American perspective. (Those of you who have traveled to third world countries, or anywhere in general will know what I’m talking about). Here in country they get tourists from Russia, Kazakhstan, China and Germany. These tourists usually have lots of money and so we constantly hit this attitude. We kindly explain we’re volunteers and are not getting paid and are not the rich Americans. Most people get it, well we had a driver the other day that didn’t get it. We were coming back from the city after meeting with PC doctors for flu shots. The normal price for a ride back is 30 soms. We had been trying to get a ride for about 20 minutes and so when we got a driver finally to stop he said 40 soms. Since we’d been there for a while we agreed to this price. We tried to haggle it further down but he wouldn’t go. We get in the car and proceed back to the village. A few minutes later we stop and pick up another person. We find out she’s also from our village and is in fact the lady that we see whenever we go running (we run right by her house). She gives the driver 20 soms and he accepts that. We then are upset and say that we’re all from the same village and going to the same place and since she’s paying 20 we should only have to pay 20 each. The other passenger (the Kyrgyz village lady) tries to help us and get the price down but it’s to no avail. We explain we’re volunteers and not rich Americans but he won’t go for it and charges us 40 and her 20 just because we’re not native Kyrgyz. Ugh! Even speaking the local language and having her on our side was no use. Talk about frustrating! I told my family later and they were outraged and said that was just wrong, especially since there was another person from the village in the car. Erin and I later thought the driver might not have lowered the price because he didn’t want to have to admit that two non-natives were actually right about the price and did actually know what we were talking about. It’s hard to deal with sometimes but it makes you think about those who are discriminated against in America and why it happens. It’s the first time I’ve ever been discriminated against because of my skin color. It’ll happen again, I know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier. At least now I know how it feels and can better serve those that are too affected by it. So, guys, keep your eyes and ears open and be willing to accept all.

October 10, 2008

So having been in country for around four months now there’s several changes I’ve already begun to notice within me. Firstly, hygiene and the necessity of it quickly changes and is such a subtly done change that you at first don’t even notice and then one day you wake up to realize that you haven’t had a bath in two weeks and that four days without washing your hair really is not a big deal. Also, wearing multiple layers is not a big deal by any means and that sleeping under three blankets actually feels really nice. I’ll never starve and yet sometimes I crave the weirdest things and have realized some of the stuff I eat here I’d never really eat in the States. I never ate as much ice cream in the states as I did here over the summer. I’ve gotten used to onions in my food and realized that I really miss a nice cold glass of milk. Juice is sorely missed and is expensive to buy here but yet one learns how to cope and deal with the not haves. That leads to another point. It’s absolutely how amazing the technological conveniences that are available in the states are forgotten or disregarded. Sure sometimes I think having a microwave or washing machine would be great but it’s just a brief fleeting moment. Most of the time the thoughts never even enter my mind and I just deal with not having a stove, washing machine, English tv or a microwave. Even not having running water in the house no longer causes any big shock. People don’t have it, and they deal with it in other ways. So I, too, do. The interesting thing though is just how quickly these changes occur and how oftentimes we don’t even realize it’s happening. People just showing up whenever they want to is a natural part of life here and guesting (visiting other people’s houses for food and fun) can last until all hours of the night.

Yet there are still many things I struggle with, and probably always will. The primary one, besides language and general culture, is their attitude towards work. It is so completely different from anything I’ve seen before. They all claim work is important and want to have jobs yet they never seem to be taken seriously. Their jobs are the first thing to be thrown aside and there’s always days off for something. In the states we’d never get a day off because we were tired or family was in town or because we were celebrating the 100th birthday of a famous doctor. This happens here and oftentimes they happen for no obvious reason,they may just be feeling sick that day and so won’t work. This attitude is often hard to deal with because it’s so contradictory to what we have in the states. But again I find myself starting to take it all in stride and to realize some things are the way they are.

I’ve realized that even thought it’s extremely cold at 2 in the morning the sky is absolutely beautiful and is one reason why that trip to the outhouse is bearable. I’ve realized that I really do live in the best part of Kyrgyzstan with the second largest alpine lake in world to my south and the absolutely gorgeous rolling mountains to my north and prairie/desert land in between. I’ve realized donkeys really are an interesting animal and Russian tv is just as bad as some American tv. I’ve realized I really do have two great counterparts and an awesome family. Sure there are some parts that can be frustrating and other parts that are great. I’m sure we can all say that to some extent. Look around you and see what you can learn. Until next time:

Recently I went to a party here in the village. This party was for the 100th birthday of a famous doctor here in the country. For over five days preparations were done to make the village and surrounding area ready for the celebration. Cleaning, painting, flower planting were all done in anticipation. It was quite a site to see it all occurring, especially as I’d only been here for about three days. Work was cancelled and students didn’t have school. I don’t remember a time in America where anything like that has occurred. Talk about a different culture.

Over forty yurts were put up by people from each of the forty tribes. These tribes are the backbone of the country and people pride themselves on what tribe they originate from. Most of the people came from close by towns and villages but a few were from the far side of the lake, which meant a 4-6 hour drive. The day before the party the other volunteer and I went down to the site to see the yurts going up. It was quite a site and it was so cool to see them building them from scratch. (I’ll make a slide show eventually for all to see). I think the thing that struck me the most was that the basic foundation looked like the smallest wind would knock it down but the final product was so sturdy and strong. It was truly amazing. Also, what amazed me was the differences in each one. No two were alike and each individual yurt represented what the tribe meant. They were absolutely beautiful and I wish I had one to take home.

So when I get to the party I’m immediately set down at the place of honor next to the white beard (oldest male gentleman of the tribe) and the chong ejes (grandmothers and women with greatest respect). I didn’t understand most of them and was just overwhelmed by all that was happening. They knew I was the American staying in the family but it was still an awkward and funny situation at times. They were all honored that I was there but at the same time they didn’t really talk with me or seem to care that I was there. When they started to leave I took my cue and left as well and proceeded to view the rest of the yurts and the beautiful lake.

On the lake were many boats each having a party and celebration. One of the boats left off fireworks (in broad daylight so of course they couldn’t be seen). They were nice boats, beautiful and well kept. The lake itself is absolutely gorgeous and clean. It was cool and sandy and a nice place to be for the day. I walked around and took many pictures of people and the outside of the yurts, whenever possible. Later that afternoon I met up with other volunteers who had come to the festivities and we went to listen to some music and then to see the horse games. We saw wrestling, horse racing, horse wrestling, the Kyrgyz national game involving a sheep’s head and many others. It was cool to see them all, we’ve heard loads about them. Everyone was curious as to why we were there and those from our village took great pride in the fact that we were from their village and could speak Kyrgyz (poor Erin and Mike, they have learned Russian and were hassled as to why they don’t know Kyrgyz). Later that evening my family invited us to our family’s yurt for food and we went inside and sat with the elders of the tribe. We toasted, ate and had a good time. They were honored that we were there with them and toasted us. We did our best to toast them back and definitely enjoyed the food. The yurt was beautiful and amazing. The food was outstanding and after all day I was finally able to see inside the yurt. Yay!

Although I found myself throughout the day frustrated at times because I didn’t understand people and no matter how many times I said that they didn’t seem to understand. Also I found myself having a harder time understanding the kids than other people and I also found myself frustrated at people wanting their picture taken. I have no idea who most of these people are but they would grab me and have me take their picture, and not just them but with family, then friends, then couples, then kids.. Never ending. Overall though the music, food, yurts, and people were great. I had a good time and enjoyed myself. I learned a lot about culture and how I fit into that and fully realized how protective a village can be for the volunteer. Erin and I were definitely referred to as the Kyrgyz volunteers in the village and anyone from our village was happy to proclaim that fact.

All in all it was a long day but one that was worth it.

September 14, 2008

After being in country for about two months I’ve made the following observations about myself.

1. Hygiene is one of the first aspects of yourself to change- it’s amazing how quickly one gets used to not bathing for three days (that includes the hair) and how quickly one learns to bathe with 14 oz of water.

2. Having someone else cook for you is not necessarily a bad thing, although one does quickly get tired of pasta and rice combinations

3. Tomatoes and cucumbers are the best thing at the table

4. Milk is sorely missed, as is really good cheese- milk is expensive here or very unsafe to drink for Americans and powered milk only goes so far

5. Breakfast has never been more appreciate; nor has a cup of chia latte ever tasted so good

6 snickers bars really do satisfy hunger, and taste amazingly well (I don’t really like them in the states, but they’re great here)

7. Juice is sorely missed (it’s expensive) and so I’ve quickly become a sprit drinker.. Ugh!!

8. My sweet tooth is not going to diminish while I’m here… they have more sweets than I can imagine

9. We eat ice-cream and watermelon a lot… and it gets old quickly

10. It’s amazing how quickly one learns to live without the internet, TV in English and news.

11. Eating outside is great, except the bees get really annoying

12. Studying language for four hours a day really isn’t a bad thing

13. Patience is quickly learned by being in a collectivist society but personal space is greatly horded

14. Outside showers really are not the bad… sometimes they’re even nicer

15. Outhouses are often better liked than indoor toilets… the indoor ones don’t usually work

16. Bazaars are crazy, stressful and fun places… especially ones in abandoned train cars

17. Dogs are not your friend… it’s ok to throw rocks at them… and oftentimes necessary to prevent biting

18. Kids go to school for free… which means… sometimes they just don’t go

19. Drying clothes is sorely missed…

20. Water is overrated

I could go on but I’ll leave it at that for now… once I get to permanent site I’ll provide more. Until then… enjoy!

Kant Group (language & culture group)

Adilet (my LCF) playing the Cumus (Kyrgyz guitar)

Host Mom (Faya) and me Shawn (fellow volunteer) and me in front of the Yurt Adilet and I by the Yurt Me in my Kyrgyz dress inside the Yurt

August 7, 2008

So I noticed the other day that I’m starting to be between cultures. I know this is even more evident once I am placed at my permanent site- which I’ve heard from sources is a sweet and awesome job- I’m excited to see (count down two weeks !). Anyways, I was walking back from technical training the other day with some of the other volunteers and I began to realize that I’m not longer fully American, nor am I completely Kyrgyz (which I’ll never ever fully be).

What do I mean by this? Well, I’ve noticed how I’ve become more and more used to Kyrgyz everyday life. I’m becoming more used to the dinner rituals and gender roles. I’ve been to bazaar (haven’t yet bought anything) but understand and see what is both good and bad about them. On that same note, I’ve realized how much I’m beginning not to like the regular grocery stores or other forms of commercialization. Yet there are a few times when it would be nice to run to a store, particularly a book store, and get anything. I think, though, the biggest area I’m speaking of is how less American behavior I’m beginning to show. I have noticed more just how we as Americans really do stand out in crowds and draw attention to ourselves. We are loud, cheerful, travel in groups, and sometimes are not considerate of the host country’s culture. We naturally draw attention to ourselves, which I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I’ve also noticed how much of a complaining and action now people we are. There is much complaining about various things going on within the volunteer community and I don’t really understand it. Sure, some if it can be an inconvenience but it’s not hard by any means and shouldn’t be treated as this difficult thing to do. It’s this area that has made me see really how we are a people that likes answers now and will try to do what we can to get them.

None of this is necessarily a bad thing… many of it is what makes us Americans and the smiles that we usually give when meeting people are often what is most remembered. It is interesting though, trying to dispel the myths they have of Americans here (mostly come about by TV and magazines) while at the same time not trying to be a typical American either. It’s a rather slippery slope to be on, but one I hope to be able to walk well these next few years.

So think about your culture… what do you portray and what do others see about you? What would you like to show about yourself and your culture?

July 18th:

So here in Kyrgyzstan my host family has five children total, but only one of them currently lives at home. It’s the youngest daughter and she is twelve years old. However, she is unlike any 12 year that I’ve met. For instance she is 100% capable of running the entire household. She can clean it from top to bottom, fix all meals, wash, iron, sew, etc… all at 12! Now granted she’s had three older sisters around while she was growing up but it’s also a representation of the gender roles found here. This country is considered a patriarchal society which means the male is considered the head of the house. That’s definitely seen here… with the man doing the outside work and the woman doing all the household chores… yet, when one really looks at the family dynamics it’s the woman that runs the house. Therefore, if the mother is not happy then no one is. It’s a very interesting and illuminating site to see. In America we consider it rude if the man doesn’t help and we no longer expect women to do all the house work… here it’s not considered rude and almost considered taboo if the man does try to help. Now that’s not to say the women are only stuck in the house… on the contrary many of them have jobs too, and many of them have really good jobs… doctors, teachers, etc. Yet, they are still expected to come home and care for the kids, prepare meals, do laundry, etc and more, importantly, to pass that knowledge onto their daughters.

The girls here marry young… sometimes as early as 17. I can understand why. There are few resources for them and their entire lives, from a very early age, is one where they are taught how to care for a household.. So why not marry young? It’s a challenging question and one we as volunteers often face about why as 20 something’s, and sometimes older, we are not married and taking care of a household. I’ve never really been exposed to this type of culture before but do know that only until recently (the 20th century) America had similar views. Maybe one day too a similar revolution may happen here. The women seem happy, I am no judge, and my host sister amazes me by how much she is capable of doing, while at the same time I wonder if she misses out on other parts of life.

While she was learning how to sew, cook and clean, I had the chance to try sports, learn new things, and explore new places. So I wonder if she’ll have the same chance and what she’ll think of her life when she gets older. There’s so much more to life and I hope I’m able to show a small part of that.

No matter what happens, she will forever remain amazing to me and all the women here are truly the hardest working women I’ve ever seen. Props to them!

Until next time…

Jakshi Kal!

July 13, 2008

Taken a shower at a Soviet Union hotel and really found out it’s a hose attached to the bathtub faucets that you spray around yourself

Taken two summer showers (water from a large barrel descends over you while you shower in the woods)

Used outhouses: not fun, aim improves; squatting makes your legs go to sleep

Ridden a martshuka and taxi and survived both

Ripped by big red bag… tear tear, sad times

Termed my floor at the hotel the shining because of fallen plaster… large holes and mysterious dark open doors that lead to nowhere

Seen inside a yurt… it’s beautiful

Drunk gallons of tea already

That’s just a few things… I’ll detail more.

Items to send quickly:

- just don’t everyone send me them… please talk to one another… I don’t need tons of them

Pack of cds to burn pictures

Café latte mix

LOST Season 3 (please pack carefully so it doesn’t get lost… its not for me but for the other volunteers)

Stamps

Housecoat

Taeboo workout DVD (there’s a great beginner’s one on Amazon)

We arrived at the Soviet Hotel in Bishkek this morning and I can definitely say it’s seen better days. For two nights we will be staying here while we slowly get over jet lag, begin basic health, safety and language training. Also, we’ll meet the in country staff, work with current volunteers and finally (July 9th) we will meet our host family in a fun event called “Matching.” I already know my site for training because it was put onto sheets without staff realizing it. Oops.. It happens… anyway… it should be a good site. Onto the hotel…

So the hotel has beautiful grounds, a fully restored Kyrgyz turk (nomadic tent) and nice large grounds. The scenery here is beautiful… mountains, lakes, trees, etc. It’s all absolutely gorgeous. I saw the sunrise this morning… for the first time in years… granted it comes up much earlier here.

So the hotel…

It has eight floors with various different sizes of rooms. My floor… number 4... Is not in the best shape. It has no carpet in certain areas, plaster out of walls, walls falling down, wires showing and darkened hallways. The rooms are not too bad for what you’re paying. Two small Asian beds, complete with pillow. It has a patio door, no screen, and no air… so we’re all a little warm currently. It has a small tv (it doesn’t work) and a dresser and wardrobe closet. The bathroom has no shower, except for the Asian variety- sitting down in a tub while using a hose. It has a toilet and a budae- but it doesn’t work either. The water leaks continually from the faucet to help keep the pipes from freezing. The room makes me smile and is definitely part of the whole PC experience.

The facilitators here have been great. They have all worked so incredibly hard and continually do so much behind the screens. I met my language teacher today… and was somewhat sad that I am not learning Russian… but there is still hope. In a few days, I will be beginning that intensive portion while learning the other concepts as well. The conference room in the hotel is nice… especially for this area and the food has been great. There is no internet, obviously, but that’s ok. All in all this hotel would have been amazing in its hay day but has slowly fallen to ruin and despair and is a sign of what could have been.

So until the next time… enjoy time in America!

(July 7th)

So early this morning we arrived at Manasas International Airport here in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. Yay! It only took us two days and over 30 hours to arrive and it was not without headaches. First on the way to the airport we, as group leaders, were in charge of making sure everyone got onto the bus, all luggage was loaded and everyone was accounted for. My group did this with amazing ability but sadly most of the groups had problems, causing us, as leaders, to have to drag people out of bed, find missing leaders and track down lost luggage left in the hotel. However, off we went… an hour later than planned. Then when we had problems checking our bags all the way to Bishkek. They were only wanting to check them through to Istanbul, where we were to change carriers. After much persistence, this could be corrected. Sadly, though, this happened too late for some people and they had to recheck bags once in Istanbul.

Istanbul was our layover and I decided not to go out to the city since I’ve visited once before and saw everything. Therefore, I hung around during our layover (7 hours), studied some language, talked and ate. Then we headed onto the plane to Biskek and away we went. The ride was fine until about 10 minutes out of the airport. We then hit major turbulence. This turbulence reminded me of LOST and at one point I wasn’t sure if I had landed or was going to crash. Thankfully, it’s due to the mountains in the country and so because of the way the air flows off the mountains and not because we were actually going to crash… although I did have my whole island scenario and routine ready. So another five and half hours later we arrived from Istanbul into Bishkek where Peace Corps staff was able to graciously receive us into their knowledgeable arms.

(July 7th)

Staging is over... bags are packed... I've suddenly become a group leader (didn't see that one coming) and now I'm heading out, after hopefully one final good night sleep and a hot American shower.... to Kyrgyzstan!!!

So for now... Paka and Kosh Kaling.

I'll talk to you all soon.

Day Two of staging here in Philadelphia is half over. Yay! It's been mostly logistically and basic cross cultural training... nothing too terribly new for me. I think the main reason for staging is to meet the other volunteers and to begin familiarizing ourselves with the Peace Corps. The hotel is nice and probably will be the last hot showers and comfortable bed I see in a long time. I have a very nice roommate named Jessica. She is part of the community development group and is excited about the work. She's also only a year younger than me... so that's nice. There are three married couples in the group and one of the couples is older... probably 50ish. They are awesome and have great insight into most everything. Most of the group is in the 20s or early 30s and have many different backgrounds and experiences. Manly have recently finished undergrad and I think I'm one of the few with a master's in public health.. I haven't yet met another health worker with a master's, so we'll see how that goes. So, therefore, staging has been good so far. We have been given money for meals, although, many restaurants are not currently opened today because of the holiday. Tonight are firworks and so we're all trying to find a place close to the hotel to view them. We don't want to go down to the riverfront because we have to get up early tomorrow. (We check out at 7am- talk about early!).

My trip to staging was very eventful. My trip from St. Louis to Pittsburgh was fine, although we got in a few minutes late and I only had 15 minutes to get off the plane and onto the next one before it's supposed departure. However, I ended up having to wait an hour and half in Pittsburgh because the plane was delayed. I was supposed to arrive at noon for registration and sadly didn't even land until 1:30. Registration was open until 3 and by the time I got my luggage, waited for a shuttle van (which I had to wait 40 mns for) and got changed I was the last one to register... walked in around 2:45pm. So sadly I didn't really have time to relax or get something to eat and was exhausted. But I made it and it all worked out... that's all just part of the Peace Corps experience.

Tomorrow we head off to Kyrgyzstan. We leave the hotel at 7am and depart JFK around 4pm. Then we fly to Istanbul, Turkey, where we have a 10 hour layover. After that it's onto Kyrgyzstan.. yay! We will be in the hotel at the captial, Bishkek, for three days while we undergo some more orientation then finally after those 3 days we'll meet our families and begin PST (Pre-Service Training). So it should be an exciting next few days. I also found out I'm not the only one with a big bag and lots of luggage... there's some people, girls especially, that have lots more.. and many seemed impressed that I was able to really only have one bag... the smaller one can fit inside the bigger one if needed. Also there's a rumor floating around that the airline allows 75 pounds for baggage.. so we'll see how it goes.

It may be a while before I can speak to you all again... I've been told internet access is very limited around training. So until then begin the letters and I'll speak to you all soon.

Tomorrow I head off to Philadelphia for a few days of Peace Corps training before I go in country. Once in Kyrgyzstan I will have about 12 weeks worth of language, culture, safety and technical training. This training occurs six days a week for about 8 hours a day... talk about exhausting. Plus we're living with a host family, so we're dealing with culture shock, living in a new society and being immediately thrust into a family dynamic. I've been told PST (Pre-Service Training) is the toughest part of the program... I'll let you know.

But before I get there let me share about my last few weeks here in America. They were done visiting family and friends. I saw my father and sister before I left the East Coast. They are all doing well and the visit was nice. I saw the nieces and nephew as well.. which was good since I won't be seeing them for another two years. They're growing and learning and being awesome kids. Soon all three will be bigger than me... ha!

After the east coast visits with family and friends I headed back to the St. Louis area. Back there resides my mother, step-father and one of my best friends. I stayed the weekend with Debbi, the friend, and we went to an animal preservation, to the drive-in and had a general good time. She will definitely be missed. I spend time with Susan, an amazing family friend. We ran errands, got some yarn for a beautiful new scarf and got some new books for my trip. Yay! I always have a nice time with her and once again did.

The week was also spent, off and on, with my mom and her husband. We all had a nice enjoyable time going out to dinner, staying at home, packing, cleaning up the place, organizing, etc. The times were sweet, nice and enjoyable. I know we all had a good time and will treasure the moments.

So all in all... craziness in coming but a nice happy few weeks just occured... all of which will be loved and remembered.

Today was my last day of work at the EPA here in Washington DC. I will soon be leaving to visit family in Virgina and back in St. Louis before I head out permantely with the Peace Corps. So I thought I'd offer some reflections regarding my one year public health fellowship.

I enjoy this area immensely. The people, the location, the culture is awesome and perfect for me. It provides me with easy access to other major cities: New York, Philadelphia, Boston for example. Yet, I'm also close to the beauty of the south: North Carolina, Raliegh/Durham, West Virginia, and am even close to beaches: Ocean City. DC is a place thriving with various cultures and people from all over the world. I've seen thousands of tourists during all kinds of weather viewing the great sites within this city. I've been able to experience the world class museums that are part of the amazing Smithsonian Institutue and have seen almost every kind of exhibit imaginable. I've hiked throughout this city, explored various aspects and neighborhoods and yet have still missed so much. I've learned a subway system so completely I don't even have to look at a map to tell you the line it's on or which direction to go. My work area is known to me like the back of my hand and walk along the streets automatically. The architecture, sites, sounds are all awesome and will be thoroughly missed.

My apartment itself was great, although a little further out then orignially planned, especially from the metro station. It was a studio, although technically considered an extended studio. It was amazingly lit with a balcony window and even had a small bedroom alcove so that the bed area was not immediately noticed when entering the apartment. It had a full kitchen and bath, complete with a dishwasher- which I've never had before. Central air and heat, pool and fitness room access, security guards, front and back key entry and floor to ceiling closets. It was a truly an amazing place. I really liked it, and it was right next door to a park and so I'd often hike through the trails. The deer, foxes, squirrels, and other neighborhood park animals will be missed. Speaking of animals I saw the world famous panda bears at the National Zoo- very cute and sweet.

My job, though, will not be missed, nor the endless amounts of bureracracy that is rampant in Washington. My job definitely did not turn out as expected and did not need someone with a Master's in Environmental Public Health. It had frustrations, times of enjoyment and lots of reading... but overall not anything that I want to do forever. It gave me a chance to see federal work and how committees, reports, and guidelines are formed. I have come to realize why it does actually take so long for change to occur and how tedious it can all be. My mentor was great and he taught me alot and allowed me to see certain sides of government. I learned more about ethics, and especially about human research ethics and know that this will be important in the future. I've expanded my knowledge regarding environmental awareness and project reviews, but althogether know it's not my future.

All in all, the place has been great for me, the job, not so much. Now it's time to visit family and friends before beginning the next stage of my life.

So this weekend has been an interesting one in terms of Peace Corps preparation. I have been studying the language, although have been getting extremely frustrated with Rosetta stone and the speaking section. My newest preparations were entirely unexpected and not planned and thusly, I think, are all the more valuable.

The first incidence involves modern human comforts: electricity. Over the last week the East coast was first hit by a wave of poweful storms then a round of extremely high heat- high 90s. Being naturally from the Midwest, St. Louis in particular, we are used to heat and humidity. However, the heat here came out of nowhere fast and secondly there is currently no real way to cool myself in my apartment. Why is this you may ask? Well because my air is not currently working because it runs on electricity. The previous storms that rolled through knocked out power to multiple places and have thusly affected me as well. The weird part of all this is that I have actual power- lights, but no cool air. or hot water at times. Others in my apartment complex don't even have lights... and sometimes I'll have half my outlets that work and the other half doesn't... so who knows. So basically since Friday afternoon I have been without cool air and intermitent hot water. Ironically I find it humorous because I'll be facing a very similar situation in Kyrgyzstan, although I believe they don't have air at all. So it's been a nice way to see how well I'll survive and for the most part I've been okay. The problem is that I am currently packing to move which makes everything seem hotter. Again, kinda funny. I may even do the whole Peace Corps experience and boil water for a nice warm bath.. then again probably not.

The second situation involved the Baltimore Aquarium that I went to on Saturday. Two wonderful girls from church took me there as a sort of farewell trip. We had a great time and I loved seeing all the different types of organisms found within the ocean- it's such an amazing place and so untaped and hardly studied... a science geek like me loved it. Anyways, we go to the gift shop and here's this souvenior shop filled from top to bottom with stuff. Most of it is just stupid nonsense stuff that is found in any specialized souvenior shop and I suddenly just became so disgusted and overwhelmed by this blatant display of consumerism and materialism that is so rampant in our society. I walked through rows of objects wondering why anyone would want to buy them, the incredible waste of production used to create these items and I left the store fairly soon. I watched people buying multiple gifts and found myself thinking, "Are the people your giving this to really going to care?" Probably not... they'll probably just throw it away at some time in the near future. Also does buying a souvenior make the trip any more memorable... on the contrary, depending on the gift.. no. Maybe it's just my brain beginning the necessary steps of culture separation or maybe it's a look into the future- a vision of what it's going to be like those first few months when I return. All I know was that it was definitely a unexpected place for a lesson.

Therefore, although this weekend has been harder than some weekends... it has all been great preparation for what's to come. The great thing is it hasn't really bothered me that much... definitely not as much as some tenants. The view of consumerism is something, I know, will grow and change and I may always view it differently. Human comforts are just that... comforts... and some of them can be lived without. Until next time...

So lately I've found myself beginning to mix several languages. I took German for four years in high school and was an exchange student. Some of it I remember and most of it, sadly, not; however, at times, while studying another language words, phrases, structures, grammer rules will all pop up. Sometimes my very limited Spanish will creep in. So, what have I been studying hat has caused language chaos: Russian and Kyrgyz, yep two at once.

Since I'm going to Kyrgyzstan with the Peace Corps I figured it would be helpful to start learning some of the language, especially since both languages use the Cyrillic alphabet, which is very different from ours... the Latin alphabet. (Praise- I have successfully mastered the alphabet and know what the sounds are, pronunciation, symbols, and cursive derivatives- which my Russian tutor threw on me the very first meeting... ugh!). Since Kyrgyzstan is a former USSR republic Russian is the underlying language, although Kyrgyz is the official language. This is causing some confusion because, although Kyrgyz adds three other letters, I don't understand the difference. I assumed Kyrgyz was just like another dialect of Russian but it's not quite that. They have their own words for hi... Salam whereas in Russian its Privet (all words are written in English pronuciation.. not actual Cyrillic). They say good morning, and how are you differently so sometimes I wonder what the difference is and will I notice.

I've also noticed something else happening, which I understand is quite common... I've been inadverently mixing the two languages. I've been told most Kyrgyz people can speak and understand both languages but the Russians may not be able to understand the Kyrgyz... again not sure why. For instance, at my Russian lesson the other day my tutor wanted me to say some introductions and I said it in Kyrgyz instead of Russian... having not yet learned the Russian phonetically yet. She smiled and said no but was wondering what it was as it sounded similar but wasn't obviously Russian. It made me wonder if I had this experience in Kyrgyzstan if I would have been understood.

I also find language learning and teaching very different from what I had with German, and even somewhat from Spanish. With German we first learned letters, numbers, colors, days of the week, basic introduction... always with grammer mixed in and vocabulary. I haven't really had that too much. Sure I've had the alphabet and introductions but neither my tutor, Rosetta Stone or Peace Corps lessons have gone through the alphabet, letters or numbers. Even grammer isn't really explained. For instance, with Rosetta stone there's a grammer section and you say the word.. see it in a sentence then put the sentence together... that's fine... but what's the rule? Do nouns go first, verbs, etc? Seeing how the sentences get put together is one thing but if I don't understand how they're built, along with endings for nouns and verbs, singular and plural, then how can I speak the sentence correctly? Rosetta Stone is good in that it shows picture with words, has you speak, read and write, full immersion in other words... but I feel like they just jump you write into speaking, without going over basics. That's the same thing with the Peace Corps lessons. They don't cover the letters, numbers, grammer rules, etc. They just immediately jump in with phrases. How am I expected to speak correctly if I'm not taught how?

I know this is all preparatory work, that I get 10 weeks of in country training, where hopefully, this stuff is covered, but if not then I'm going to be so confused. I need to know how stuff is built, how it works, in order to properly understand. Maybe I'm just used to learning language the way I did with German or maybe I just don't understand how languages are supposed to be taught but teaching without grammer, without basic pronunciation skills, doesn't seem right to me. Oh well, I'll keep visiting my Russian tutor, doing Russian Rosetta stone, PC Kyrgyz and Russian and making my flashcards... while all the while wondering how to say a sentence...

If you've seen my pictures you will have noticed I saw many temples in Japan. Well that's one of the many things Japan has, along with mountains, rivers, small rooms, fast trains and many people. However, not all temples are Buddhist; some are Shinto. For you see, there are two types of religion noticed throughout the rolling landscape of Japan. The very colorful temples are for Shintoism, which is actually the first and original religion of Japan. These temples are usually smaller than the Buddhist temples but are definitely more colorful. They are usually designed with the colors green, orange and sometimes purple. They are wonderful to see because they pose such a sharp contrast to the Buddhist temples. The Buddhist temples, on the other hand, are more minimalistic- corresponding to their minimalist beliefs. They are simply designed wooden structures with very little color. However, the wood has all been exquistely carved with various form of kanji, katakana or other characters. Each temple has a beautiful worship room and this is the room where the statue of Buddha resides, and the only room that may show some color along with exquiste decoration. It's never done over the top but appears just right.

So what kind of temples did I see? Well I saw the second largest wooden structure in Nara City, the second largest Buddha, the only female Buddha and the skinnest Buddha. I also saw the oldest temple in Asuka and many five tiered pagodas (another common symbol around the temples). I saw the smallest scaled five tier pagoda (it was so cute) and also the craziest looking pagoda ever. I saw derelict looking temples and newly renovated ones... and even a golden temple.. yep golden... that one was a shocker. But by far, my favorite is the pagoda that has been affectionaly labeled as the fiesta pagoda (seen to the left).

I like this one for several reasons. Firstly, I saw it all by myself on my very last day in Japan. I went there during my layover in Tokyo and successfully managed the trains and purchasing my tickets to get there. Well I walked through this quaint little Japanese town on my way to the temple. I see other shops and food places and other tourists out enjoying the place. It warmed my heart. Secondly I really like this one because it's such a contrast to anything else seen. It just graps you and doesn't let go. I had seen other temples on my way up to this one (I had several levels to scale to reach thevery top temple- another common theme in Japan) and boom... here's this three story pagoda. I stopped dead in my tracks and just couldn't believe that I was seeing something this colorful and beautiful. Finally I like this pagoda because it is only three stories. Most pagodas are five and this one is definitely not. I don't know if it's because it was so exquite that they couldn't afford to do another

two tiers, but I'm sure it's symbolic of something... if only I had been able to understand the Japanese. Also, another great aspect to this pagoda was how it made all the other temples and shrines more colorful. Even the simply designed Buddhist temples had a little more color to them. It definitely was a place I very much enjoyed and quickly became a favorite.

So yes, you will see many temples throughout Japan, they're as common as the churches here in the Bible belt but each one has something special... find it and cherish it.