As tempting as it is to continue to blag about my snafu-ridden reassimilation to american culture, the purpose for this blag is through. I'll update one more time when i get a cell phone to advertise my number.

Those of you who kept up with me, thank you.

Those of you who actually got off your sorry asses and wrote me letters, or at least emails, THANK YOU, you helped me to survive these past couple years. Your new task is to call/text/email me now that i'm here so we can have a real-life relationship!

Love you all,

Goodbye FOREVER

It's been requested that I write a 'farewell' post, summing up my experience here, saying goodbye, etc.

I can't do it.

These past two years aren't some seperate segment of my life that i can just 'sum up'. It's my life, and this is my home, and i do love it here. There's too much to think about, and i'm all spazzed out right now anyway with all these peace corps exit procedures and tests and saying goodbye to all my family and friends and neighbors and home and school etc etc etc. People keep requesting adages and bon mots and specific emotions from me. I have wrapped my feelings and thoughts about this up in a ball and hid it waay down in my psyche somewhere, and maybe i'll let them out nervous breakdown style when i'm safely back in the spare room at mom and dad's house in California.

I am very happy to leave, there is nothing more I can do here in Lesotho. I'm probably aiding them by departing because overzealous international aid is one of this country's biggest problems. That said, I've loved, learned, grown, done all sorts of cheesy things, in more ways than I can say, or know. I'm beyond happy that i was able to have this experience, and i will leave you with some pictures of my 'hood.

With my principal in my NEW TRACK SUIT!! it's the most amazing thing ever. Everything's funnier when wearing a tracksuit.

At the farewell my school did for me, some students did the gumboot dance, i think they call it 'stomp'ing or something like that in America, they stomp and beat the sides of their gumboots in cool dancy rhythms, started by the diamond mine workers in south africa. Anyway, they're wearing the mining outfit, and the one in front is the 'foreman', wearing a terrifying hand-knitted boss-man mask. The dance was SO COOL

Walking to school with some form D students

With friends

My host brother gifting me with a traditional basotho blanket to take home, it's so warm and pretty. As you can see, i'm super excited about this. also, please note: the dress i'm wearing I sewed myself with fabric from mozambique!

boo-tee-full

races

that scooped-out looking mountain behind the burned ruin is the one we call 'brokeback'

the view from my stoop

Things I've Lied About Recently

1. Being sick

2. Having important paperwork/appointments/etc. outside of school

3. How the car got scratched

4. My nationality (Russian)

5. How much money I have

6. Why I am leaving Thaba-Tseka so soon

7. My formative years spent at a boarding school in Germany

8. My familial relationship with Kelly Clarkson

9. What I think of my coworker's new weave

Things I've Stared at for Far Too Long

1. My ceiling

2. Brokeback mountain

3. The bit of stained glass hanging from my wardrobe

4. Raw meat

5. Crossword puzzles

6. Sheep

7. The growth behind the taxi driver's ear

8. My fingernails

9. Cliffsides

10. Cinderblocks

11. Blank pages

12. Car wrecks

13. Dirt paths

14. The surface of my desk

15. Clouds

P.S. I would like to announce that I am NO LONGER A RESIDENT OF THABA-TSEKA!!!!!

As of now I am enjoying the bright lights of the big city, then as of November 2 I will no longer be a volunteer, then as of November 11 I will no longer exist on the continent of Africa

the Thaba-Tseka girls (linds, vic, mad, me)

uh oh face

cardboard chris conz, who met his untimely death later that evening

15 Sept.

This past weekend there was a life skills day camp for 20 high schoolers which I had little to no part in helping, except for organizing food. Anyway I sat in on a session. It was agree/disagree scenarios and one of them caused particular strife for me. It was “a woman who carries a condom in her purse/pocket is ‘easy’” we (the PCVs) had just started to convince the kids that it was ok because she is looking out for her personal interests because of the ‘provider’ class (people aged 18-50, anyone able to work and provide for their family) 50% are HIV positive. ONE OUT OF TWO, holy hell. Anyway these bitch mediators from Catholic Relief Services went off about how condoms are bad, abstinence is the only solution, and even had the kids do an abstinence chant. These people are annihilating themselves and it’s hypocritical women like these that are making the problem so.much.worse. These kids are so lost and confused, half the people are telling them condoms are bad, and the other half are handing them out like candy.

It makes me feel so angry and hopeless! I like to pretend I’m doing some amount of work in the positive direction while I’m here, but instances like these make me re-realize that nothing I’m doing here will stick without local support, which is dubious at best. It’s exhausting and depressing and I’m tired and my spirit’s broken, so I’m quietly, guiltily sneaking back to my cushy carpeted insulated house complete with refrigerator and amenities, etc. in America.

Everyone (almost) that I’ve met here thinks that because I’m foreign/white/etc., I have some magical ability (in the form of money, candy, or other) to make their lives ok. I obviously do not possess this trait and so everyone around me is constantly/consistently disappointed in me, no matter what I accomplish, which admittedly hasn’t been a lot. After 2 YEARS of working on simple skills (adding and subtracting whole numbers), my students still don’t know it. I can’t get through to them; they will not/ cannot conceptualize anything. If it isn’t memorizable, they won’t ‘learn’ it. The weight of this has also contributed to the Breaking of Rebecca’s Spirit.

I came here so smug, thinking ‘I don’t expect to change or ‘help’ anything here anymore than I do by teaching in America, so therefore I can’t be disappointed when the inevitable happens and I do not, in fact, do much. But then I got here and this became my home and it’s dying. Not slowly or metaphorically but this country is in fact collapsing at an incredible rate and how can anyone sit back and watch this happen? I want so badly for this place to be at least OK, at least still in existence after 2040. I have this optimism and hope all inside me that won’t go away no matter how much I try to be logical and look at things realistically. And I want to believe even me, just as one person, can do something besides tell my students about George Washington’s wooden teeth for hours on end. People helping people. Maybe some student that actually listened to more of what I said than my nonsensical stories will go on to make a change, to do something good.

Things I’m Not Into, Lately

1. Shingles

2. Multiple food babies at one time from going for seconds/thirds at the boofay

3. Glitter in my eyeball

4. My students getting hard-ons when I’m trying to explain ‘combining like terms’ to them

5. The new science teacher doesn’t go to class, so the kids all complain to me.

6. I’ve had a cough/sore throat for 6 weeks

7. Listening to that R. Kelly ‘Believe’ song on repeat for 6 HOURS in the staff room because that’s all a coworker has on his cell phone, and Basotho seem to be immune to getting tired of repetition, song-wise

8. Flying rocks/debris hitting me when I walk home through the almost constant windstorms

9. Wearing a skirt without tights in windy weather around my students

Things I’m Into, Lately

1. My ‘me lent me some sheets! No more bare mattress

2. Tuna pasta

3. Carrot burgers

4. My close-of-service date was approved! Nov. 2: outta here

5. I’m getting cash in lieu of a plane ticket home and Peace Corps only uses American carriers, so if I buy my own ticket I save about 800USD! Cape Town, here I come!

6. My teaching experience here qualifies me for a teaching credential in California

7. Cutting my hair. I really want it to grow out, but whenever I’m bored in my hut I can’t help grabbing some scissors

8. Cuddling with the three remaining puppies, the professor, and parker

9. I ate insane amounts of cheese from the boofay

10. I finally made a playlist of all my very favourite songs, it makes me so happy! Every song is amazing, one after another!

11. Any movie featuring Robert Downey Jr. - I love him

12. “Imagination grill cheeses”- I butter and grill bread, and when I eat it I pretend there’s melty delicious cheese on it

13. Shouting punk rock lyrics/ the Lesotho national anthem into the wind when I walk home

14. Wearing sleeves, shades, and a scarf over my head/face (because of the wind) and a) pretending I’m riding in a convertible or b) seeing if people think I’m an albino and therefore leave me alone

15. Doing tai-chi with my overstressed students to calm/centre them

Future Vacation Highlights

1. Highest (commercial) bungee jump in the world! 710 feet, I’MA DO IT

2. Ghetto wine tour (includes sneaking into the backyard of a vineyard to drink wine from the bottle)

3. Dancing like a Fly Girl circa 1992

4. Hot Stone Massage

5. Buying fun boots and pretty dresses

6. Eating weird bush animals from MamaAfrica in Cape Town

7. Plundering the touristy craft stalls for local art

8. Gawking into N. Mandela’s former jail cell

9. Getting myself on a one-way San Diego bound plane

General Updates

1. There are 5 puppies who think i am their mother because the professor abandoned them

2. While being super cute, they smell really bad (like dead sheep) and whine a lot

3. all my sheets and towels were lost during a transportation snafu, so now i sleep on a bare mattress with just blankets (i feel like a college boy)

4. i love chocolate much more than i ever have before

5. i've cried in public 7 times in the last month

6. My immune system no longer exists, i have multiple viruses attacking my body at all times

7. Thanks for the birthday wishes, gramma and uncle jim!

8. My principal continues to view me as free labor to exploit as much as possible before i leave

9. teenagers' BO smells really funky

10. spring is coming!

11. there was a 3 hour assembly at school informing the students about swine flu and advising them to be vigilant

12. Parker came home! after 4 months she reappeared, heavily pregnant. woo small fuzzy animals!

13. There's graffiti on the back of a road sign in TT that's supposed to say "all people like sex" but the paint on the s dripped, so it looks like it says "all people like bex" and this makes me smile to myself

14. I JUST FINISHED MY COS (close of service) CONFERENCE!

finally! some mystery illnesses and now the known illness of shingles is causing my blog-related apathy. actually it's causing a more general malaise, which is reaching its apathetic little fingers into all corners of my life.

hopefully my immune system is more robust than victoria's grandmother's, who had shingles for 10 YEARS. ugh that sounds awful.

anyways, where did i leave off?

Moçimboa de Praia

1. They speak portugues in moçambique. it's weird, and also a lot of fun to say "hola!" in africa and people respond!

2. luckily my spanish came back to me surprisingly quickly, and i picked up the differences between spanish and portugues pretty quickly, so i was able to understand people! and to speak to them! in whole conversations (kind of)!

3. i can't remember if i included this in the last post, because technically it's a Tanzania event, when people found out we were american, they would get this really concerned look on their face, put their hand on our arm, and intone "i'm SO sorry for your loss". we were really confused, and asked "what loss?" "michael jackson, of course!"

so for the rest of my life, when someone asks where i was when michael jackson died, i can say Dar Es Salaam

4. The bus pulled up to our guesthouse-thang at 3:30am and the conductor was shouting PEMBAPEMBA PEMBA like it was an air-raid or something, we flipped out and ran to the bus thinking we'd miss it, and then ended up circling the town for another 2 hours, we passed our guesthouse like 5 more times. stupid.

5. On this very same bus, after we had been on the road for a couple hours (on the bus for about 4 hours), this awful smell permeated the bus, so i covered my nose with my scarf, and then finally it reached up to the driver, who pulled over to the side of the road, and everyone rushed off the bus. we were so confused as to what was happening. a baby at the back had exploded! vomit and diarrhea were shooting out of all orifices of this baby, it was so gross! so we all stood around on the side of the road while a couple people wiped up the bus, and one woman walked around holding the baby by one arm while it spewed its innards.

Later that trip, we were really hungry and had no money, so were trying to barter half a jar of peanut butter for a couple bread rolls through the window of the bus. The small child selling bread was not agreeing to our suggestion but we kept haggling until the bus driver took our peanut butter away and just bought us two rolls. for that we were infinitely grateful. Thank you, busdriver!

Pemba

1. This little beach town had many an unfriendly expat. not much tourism, but the hostel where we stayed had a big screen tv with MTV music videos playing nonstop! we were completely entranced. also there were girly magazines from 2006, so we watched tv and read old fashion tips for the whole day. other looked at us like "ew, stupid americans travel around africa and only want to watch mtv" but we bore their judgements well. we did not care.

2. There was some ngo called "elephant human relations aid", and we kept seeing them on our trip, first in mtwara/mikindani, then again in pemba! the logo on their car was like the sistine chapel with adam and god almost touching, except it was a person's hand, and an elephant's trunk. we mocked them a lot, mostly because we were bitter that they kept seeing us and not offering us a ride.

3. savannah is a delicious cider sold around africa, and here they put lime in it!! the difference is life changing! it's like corona vs. corona w/ lime (in terms of taste difference)

4. There was a traditional dance show for the tourists, and we neglected to go over to watch it. as an excuse, madeline said "my life is an african dance."

which is absolutely true. our lives are an african dance.

Ilha de Moçambique

1. Our taxi never showed up to bring us to the bus, so we hitched from pemba to the ilha. Thusly a 5 hour trip became 10 hours, and we spend probably 2 1/2 times as much money. curses! but we did not die, and still have all our limbs; both of which are things to be happy about.

The ilha de moçambique is the former capital of moçambique, from when it was controlled by the portuguese. Now it's been mostly abandoned, and is a surreal ghost town neverland sort of place full of big beautiful whitewashed spanish style buildings with all these plazas and statues and gazebos and wide treelined cobbled walkways, except they're mostly abandoned and crumbling apart, with figs (banyans) growing in and through the walls, and the whole island is overrun with street children.

3. when we arrived at the ilha, a bunch of small boys (7-10 years old) surrounded us and were saying "my name is (breakfast, juck chuck, go, etc) i will be your wife i make good kissing, don't go to your hotel, come stay at my house, i don't work i will just pleasure you all day" etc etc. Street kids harassing us is not new, but a child prostitution ring is unusual, to say the least. The kids were following us around and becoming really annoying, so vic says, "where's freddy mercury?!", whips out the painting she bought in its cardboard tube and starts whacking the kids with it. They dispersed quickly after that.

4. The hospital is (was) this huge grandiose 3 building structure that takes up a whole block, the walls and ceilings are crumbled through, with trees growing in the buildings. It's still in use, and the patients were waiting beneath the boughs of the trees to be called into the doctor.

Also there's a crazy woman living in the maternity ward, she just sits in the corner smoking cigarettes backwards. The hospital workers chase her out periodically, but she just comes back in.

below is a pic of the front of the hospital buildings

5. Cher is EVERYWHERE. almost every place i've been to in africa has played cher at least once. also while at the bar where we heard cher, a toddler ran past our table carrying a butcher knife almost as tall as she was. 6. Seafood sellers wander around the town with their catch of brightly colored fish on a line in one hand, and a scale and knife in the other. people will stop them, they'll hack off a section of fish and weigh it right in front of you. 7. We were trying to buy bread, and the woman at the market was out, so we followed a small child through the streets, into a doorway, through a tunnel lined with other small children, and out into a secret courtyard, with other doorways leading to other tunnels and courtyards, and stairways leading up to the "second stories", which, due to the lack of ceilings, were like rooftop balconies. There was no bread back there either, but this whole other city, apart from the streets and building fronts, was incredible. 8. The one atm on the ille was not functioning, and we were out of money. we managed to spend very little while we were there, and the mistress of our guesthouse was the most awesome woman i've ever met, and was driving out to the nearest big city (Nampula, 4ish hours away) so she both gave us a ride, and dropped us at an atm to get money out and pay her!

Nampula-Beira= NOTHING

Vilankulous

1. Finally, we arrived in a place with other tourists! (this shouldn't be exciting, but it was. we wanted to meet some other fun people)

the other tourists we met were very awesome, two of which we ended up travelling with for the rest of our trip.

2. i got to snorkel and it was a lot of fun. there were lots of fish, but they weren't very exciting. boo.

3. we sailed on a dhow, which was SUPER COOL. see a couple posts ago for a photo of a dhow.

4. other miscellania: a) goldfish is a very good south african band, and b) beaver canoe is a questionably named chain of restaurants in zimbabwe.

Tofo1. awesome waves to bodysurf2. a continuance of the awesome beaches3. fun beach parties with all sorts of other people we met. being peace corps is like a fun club, whenever we meet other volunteers we hang out.4. we drank a lot of local rum called "tipo tinto" and talked like pirates5. we spent a lot of money to go on a whale shark tour, and there were NO WHALE SHARKS. stupid jerks.

here's our new band photo:Then to maputo (moz's capital), then to johannesberg, then bloemfontein, then maseru, then finally homehomehome to thaba-tseka.

These pictures go in reverse order, just to keep you on your toes

The man in red with the pole is the one who ROBBED US. he even looks devious....

truckin' on the chobe river

mikindani

Hey, i'm MIckey, and i'm Danni! welcome to our hostel

goodbye zanzibar

i love america

thinking about life

good morning, nungwe!

Things white people like: henna and elaborately woven palm frond accessories!

The dorian fruit: the bane of my existence.

why yes, i will quaff from your coconut, pepe le peau

and next we will see boy climb coconut tree, then sample some fruits, then the tour will be finished

This flower by my finger grows into a nut larger than my head, which then creates CHOCOLATE

This man is the spice nazi, vic's face shows our general reactions to him yelling at us.

we are eating something tasty. i think cinnamon bark

I made a list of vacation highlights, but have been informed that my lists are rather nonsensical, and highly uniformative. So for this past vacation i will compromise by making an annotated list. also, my camera was stolen, so this blag will be visually impaired for the rest of its tenure. unless i borrow pics from someone else, which is moderately likely.

HIGHLIGHTS

Zanzibar: Nungwe

(this was a beach town on the northern tip of the island)

1. turqoise waters (they were perfect! better than a computer desktop picture! and the water was so warm and clear and perfect. the ocean began approx. 10 ft past the door to our room)

2. we walked past this group of about 20 women on the beach one morning, wrapped from head to toe in beautiful colored fabric, all with cooking-pots no their heads like johnny appleseed, and they were smashing these octupi repeately into these rocks, to tenderize them i guess.

3. the air was like syrup there, it was so thick and humid and oxygenated! i'm used to the rarified air of lesotho. i had to spend some time gasping, like i couldn't fit this substance into my lungs

4. there were all these dhows (a style of wooden fishing boat) in the water, and one of them was called the For-Tuna and mad and i thought the pun involved in that name for a fishing boat was pretty much the best ever. then the fortuna sank while we watched, the proprietor was desperately trying to bail it out, to no avail. not very fortunate.

5. We went on a tour of a spice farm, and saw how a ton of different spices are grown, and ate many an odd fruit, our tour guide-type guy was a little intimidating, he was like the soup nazi but for spices. he'd hand us something and ask us what it was, and if we got it wrong he'd yell and say we were banished or soemthing. we'd get really nervous and just shout out like 5 spices and never commit to one answer out of fear. we got to see a boy climb a 50 ft tall coconut tree like nobody's business, and rambotrons are my new favourite fruit!

6. there was a bar on the beach, and at one point i dropped our room key in the sand (at night) and so mad and i were trying to find it without accidentally burying it, and this one girl next to us was like, oh hey i have a light, and then OSAMA BIN LADEN's face is staring at me from the sand! i found the keys quickly, and turned to find the origin of this miracle, and it was a lighter, with a little flashlight on the other end with osama's face projected out! so i traded my normal lighter for hers, and now i am the proud owner of osamaaaa. apparently these lighters are 'everywhere'. i looked and found some saddam hussein ones at a market, and i've heard tell of some obama and beyonce ones as well. i love capitalism, as long as it gives rise to things like this.

7. A little known fact about Freddy Mercury, of the rock and roll band 'Queen'. he was born and spent the first 5 years of his life in zanzibar! we saw his house. and bought some mercury-themed souveneirs. and victoria bought an amazing canvas of a painting of freddy, that says 'we will rockyou stone town zanzibar' off the wall of some shop. we also had a lot of fodder for 'mercury-poisoning' themed puns.

8. there are mosquitos EVERYWHERE. and they all eat me. i was vic and mad's de facto mosquito net because they would all just bite me, and no one else. the mosquito nets on the beds are fun though, i felt like i was sleeping in a gauzy bubble.

9. i love chapattis

10. i love kangas (the traditional fabric) women wrapped in these are so so beautiful. i did not buy them. why? because i'm a idiot and need things to regret, i suppose.

11. seeing a small monkey drinking out of a straw out of a coconut while sitting in a rich woman's lap at a fancy restaurant. i guess they are like teh chihuahuas of zanzibar...

12. Top Chef Beachside: there's this nighttime seafood market in stone town, with all these stands with fresh fish on kebabs and chapattis and fried morsels of unknown wonder, and all the people are dressed in chef hats and jackets. delicious.

13. getting to watch indian boy band music videos on the ferry from zanzibar to dar es salaam

Dar Es Salaam

1. we managed to try to get our visas for moz on mozambiquan independence day, when all embassies were closed, poo! then the next day we went back and they had run out of the little stickers to put in the passport. they said we'd have to wait a couple weeks til they get in, so vic took our passports back to zanzibar, and used the full extent of her persuasive powers to get visas put in for each of us, all in one day! the mug shots we took for this are priceless, and hopefully will eventually make it onto this blag.

2. dar is a dirty yucky city. not enjoyable. but we did find a subway! it was creepily exactly like subway in america...

3. men selling water on the streets inexplicably make this incredible obnoxious kissy noise to advertise their wares

4. Dar and Zanzibar are both predominantly muslim places, so there was what seemed like a constant call to prayer being issued from the mosque loudspeakers, it's beautiful.

5. we stayed at the YMCA in dar, and got locked in, and so had to make a great escape by climbing over a wall and down a fence at like 3:30 in the morning

6. We rode this death trap bus with no shocks to speak of for 12 hours from dar all the way to mtwara, near the moz border, going like 120 km/hr over speed bumps and along incredibly bumpy dirt roads with everyone screaming and flying out of their seats, with the horn playing this fun arabian jig-tune all the while

Stay Tuned for Mozambique!

So, not only is Zanzibar a restaurant from a Tenacious D song, it is also an island of near-mythical beauty and wonder off the coast of Tanzania! I will be flying there (after much grief with my credit/debit cards. curse you and your fickleness, wells fargo!) on saturday, and 2 friends and I will spend some time relaxing on snow-white beaches, basking in turquoise waters, and wandering amidst the 17th century muslim sultanate "stone town"!

After that we will be making our way south along the coast of mozambique, frolicking through the jungle, playing catch with my new pet hippo, traversing rivers in dugout canoes, buying 1,000 kangas (awesome fabric swaths), consuming half the marine life from the coastal waters, dancing where appropriate, etc. etc. I am SO EXCITED.

also, for you enjoyment, some photos from my life, recently:

The dog, is, after much speculation, PREGNANT! look, i'm poking a puppy fetus!

I did kind of want to sleep, but instead had to spend the day curing the hiv, one dirty dish at a time (there was a free testing day, and we helped with the catering) (that's my mom standing next to me!)

Lastly, a rare glimpse of the elusive headless-skinless tree sheep, captured right outside my hut!

HAPPINESS1. cheese2. tea3. the professor4. victoria (s) [both of them make my life sweet]5. the tasty things vic bakes for me6. cookie dough7. my students8. both of my families9. thinking of grad school10. i got a man!11. altering/decorating my old shirts/dresses so that they ROCK12. the new neko case album13. lotses is sending me his old ipod! (

SO, on a different note.

Victoria and I are trying to get an assembly hall-lunch room-library-study area building put up at my high school. My school is only 4 years old, but we're fast becoming one of the best in the nation, the teachers and students are all so dedicated, and they work so hard, i really think a lot of these students will go on to do something great with their lives.

Because my school is so new, they have very little in terms of resources. The entire school consists of 9 classrooms, some outdoor latrines, a lab (with almost no actual lab materials), and a building with a staff room and principal's/secretary's offices. They have to have daily assembly outside, which is really unfortunate in summer because it's always raining, and in winter because it's freezing cold and very windy. They have nowhere to sit and eat lunch, and I'm organizing a library, so about 1000 books will arrive next may, with nowhere to be stored or read. Also fofr the standardized tests they have every year, there is nowhere for the students to take the exams. This building will be great for all of these things (Assembly hall, library, study space, exam hall, lunchroom, etc). An estimate and a sketch are going to be made up soon, which i will post.

The idea was put to me by my host family, my "mom" is chairman of the school board, and her oldest daughter owns a contracting company, and they are very motivated to organize everything, we are getting windows and doors donated, and we will hold fundraisers in town, BUT, this building will cost about $20,000 US, which is waaay more than these villagers that live on 2,400 USD a year can raise. So soon i will begin fundraising in earnest, but for a heads up, anyone who was interested in sponsoring a child (which is still an option) may want to divert their funds to the Hall! A website is being set up that you will be able to donate directly to.

I realize America/ the world is in some sort of "recession" and whatnot, but as poor as you guys feel, you are still incredibly unimaginably rich compared to my students, friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc. And this hall will last a long time, and make such a HUGE difference to these kids.

Please tap into your sense of compassion, forego eating out or candy or something superfluous for a little while, and instead give the money to these wonderful kids who have all the odds in the world stacked up against them.

So.... my ipod spontaneously combusted. literally (kind of). i was listening to it in my speakers no prob, and it paused for no reason, so i turned it off, but it was frozen, which happens plenty so i did the magic reset thing. and when it reset it insisted i plug into itunes before it can be normal again. so i plug into itunes, and itunes sez i must "restore" it. which means EVERYTHING will be deleted.

So i get scared, and take it to the IT specialist in the office in the capital. and he uses his linux system to look at it, and it says there are only 1.16 GB of corrupted music. There should have been 60 GB music, 4 GB pictures, and like 10GB of movies....

So i get real sad, have 2 whole beers with lunch, and decide i will restore it. But my ipod decided to get all sassy and won't let any computer restore or reformat or anything! It won't let me move on! So IT specialist has it again for the day. i think he is intrigued by this.

I am just real sad. I'd think, a lot of times while on the bus or travelling around, what if my stuff was stolen, what would i miss the most? it's my ipod. ok. but, i am putting it in a box. i will not dwell.

Other than that, i'm too lazy to tell you the story of the 3 week old cous cous. it's a good one though. In general, i feel like everything is just same old same old, and so i just can't get inspired to write an actual blog post. hence all the photos and lists.

People who are writing me letters are getting good stories in return though. well, good stories is interpretable, they're getting random stories from day to day life. Maybe if you write me a letter (even writing an email, then printing and mailing it to me works well), i will tell you fun stories!

love you all

Goals for Easter Vacay 2009

1. Climb to the highest point in an area

2. bathe in a waterfall

3. build a badass sandcastle

4. hammock joust

5. find monkeys

A. befriend a monkey

a. trade headband for very powerful ring with said monkey

a.1. convince said monkey to wear said headband

6. Madeline needs to buy jellies and a floppy hat

* Please note: Rebecca would also like a floppy hat

10 Things to Quicken My Heart [Easter]

10. Backflips in the waves

9. midnight full moon shark infested waters of the indian ocean skinny dipping

8. building drip sandcastles

7. drinking with friends

6. sangria

5. foliage

4. cuddling

3. making fires and sitting by them

2. hammocks

1. Brett the helper -- with headband

Highlights [Easter]

1. See previous list

2. food poisoning twice in two weeks (doh!)

3. meeting a former employee of Jaime Oliver

4. burning myself 3 1/2 times on various hot substances/objects

5. Dreaming of a chuck-e-cheese shipwreck

6. Sitting on a couch with jack/brett/mad watching the foliage for 5 hours

7. Creepy assholes harassing/molesting me in my sleep (3 times) (triple doh!)

8. My hair= a fro the whole week

9. Wearing dresses that end above my knees

10. Minimal sunburnage

11. Buying purple tights

12. Road trip with best playlist evar

13. Harassing the attractive bartender into having a dance party, then being unable to attend

14. Not getting eaten by sharks

15. 3 giant friendly dogs adopted us for the day! (we named them jellybean, fetch, and lamp)

16. pineapples (with rum, sometimes)

17. monkeys of indeterminate species

18. untended cows that go for a jaunt to the beach to sunbathe and wade in the shallows

Beaches + Monkeys + Hammocks = Happy Rebecca

and also these cows that like to go on outings to the beach

Questions I've Received Lately

1. What did you eat for breakfast

2. Can i see a person with HIV and AIDS

3. Who is the new president

4. If i have sex with 5 boys in one day, will i get sick or pregnant

5. If i have sex with 5 boys unprepared, will i get sick or pregnant

6. If i have one baby that is 12 months, can i make another

7. Are there people on other planets

8. What do these words mean: admire, fortune, conflict, fakalakabusted

9. When is maths club

10. How old are you/ How many are you in your family

11. Is Eminem your father

12. Is Rihanna your cousin

13. Where are China, Japan, and Brazil

14. What is osmosis

15. If my period is only 3 days do i have a problem

16. By the time you want to be married you should tell me

17. What can i do to make the labia grow longer what is the function of the labia what happens if they are too long

18. What if Mugabe can say he wants to marry you will you agree

19. Are there poor people in America

20. Do you have cows in America

21. If i want to marry the American, what can i do

22. Madam at Ha Matala (a village) at Maseru (district) there was a man who rape the pig why do that man do that to the pig when there are many prostitutes

23. If there are pimples on my genitals do i have a problem

24. If i make unprotected sex with my boyfriend and he tells me a week later that he is HIV positive, will i have HIV

25. How do i factorise

26. Am i at high risk if i make abortion/ will it be wrong if i can make abortion

27. Is oral sex nice? What is it?

28. Madam my brother says he will marry you he is very handsome so what if you can say o.k.

Things I Wonder About

1. Why bees always hang around the pit of my latrine so i'm scared to sit down because they'll sting my butt

2. If kitty AIDS is as prevalent as human AIDS and will parker get it because she's a cat-slut

3. If the real GRE is as easy as the practice problems in my "Cracking the GRE" book

4. If Michelle Obama is dead. A student today asked if she was because they heard she was in a fatal car accident. [Note: it was Zimbabwe's PM's wife who died]

5. If my class discussions about sex, pregnancy, HIV/AIDS are actually helping/educating my students at all

6. Have I become a glorified condom machine?

7. If my new haircut makes me look butch (almost nobody at school noticed, because here everyone's hair is fake and changes dramatically every month or so, so they don't realize it's a big deal for a whitey to lose that much hair)

8. A student gave me a cob of corn in class today. Is this the Lesotho equivalent of giving the teacher an apple?

My skool won a debate (topic: should HIV testing be compulsory in Lesotho) and so the next week friday we had no classes and there was a DJ and we made a crap ton of samp (corn based porridgy dish that's SO tasty) and the teachers had to dress in the student uniform, and the students got to dress in private clothes, it was so cute, these kids dressed to the nines. anyway, on with the photos: The "hip hop boys"

all the ladiez in the kitchen

woo hoo first day of skool!

Before:

The first cut

notice the cow in the background trying to eat my head

Almost there.... Taking a break to menace said cowDone!

i rode a stallion up a mountain!

Then went to a staff party

Here are some photos of the area taken by ms. Pam who has a much better camera than I:

Prayer Flags

Lastly, I love it when random men with accordions show up by the riverside to play pied-piper with the children

12 Feb

I had the best time evar last night. It started out kind of lame, though. It was raining like crazy and my house flooded again, so i was hiding in bed reading a book with my headlamp. Then i got up to go brush my teeth and was dancing across my hut when i noticed how slippery the floor was when i realized that i was EXACTLY REPRODUCING the end scene from the fine feature film: Step It Up 2: The Streets! HOLY CRAP! so I got all into it, dancing and swishing the water around, and did the banana-peel fall onto my butt a few times. THen i started doing risky-business type slides back and forth across my hut, when i crashed into my little table thingy that has all these tupperwares of flour, papa, sugar, oatmeal, etc. on them, and of course the only thing to fall was a bowl of eggs, which cracked all over the floor. I swept the mess into a dustpan and then as i was pouring water and soap over the area to clean it, i had an epiphony: soapy water is waay slipperyer than regular water! So i squirted dishsoap all over my floor where it mixed in the puddles and my whole house turned into a slip n slide! I danced and slid around for almost half the night. Today my butt and hands are so sore, but my heart and mind are oh so content.

25 Jan

The bus was inexplicably 40 minutes early today, so i missed it and what is normally a 2 hour trip became a 10 hour long day of triumph!

Tally for the Day:strangers proposing: 6strangers proposing to me in front of their wives: 2 pages read: 192 failed hitch attempts: 3 kidnapping attempts (where i'm the "kid"): 1 mls of water for the day: 500food: none cute babies played with: 2Items demanded of me: my jacket, my shoes, my earrings (3 times), food, candy, toilet paper, money for beer and cigarettesTaxi Tally: Occupants of the 14 person max. vehicle:

21 adults, 4 babies/toddlers, 4 giant duffel bags, a 9kg propane tank, 3 buckets full of godknowswhat, a chicken, 2 animal hide drums (of the musical variety), and about 157 flies.

29 Jan

I spend at least an hour every day circling my hut, swatting flies. One time i clocked in at 2 hours 10 mins. This is indicative of:

a) The number of flies in my hut

b) My dislike for flies

c) The range of activities available to me in my free time

d) All of the above

30 JanThings I Do When I'm Bored

1. make lists

2. swat flies

3. curse the existence of flies

4. do crosswords

5. teach myself to play vic's mandolin

6. read books

7. play with professor phonics

8. create/ convince myself i still have a life and future in America

9. draw pictures

10. shadow dance

11. Lift "weights" a.k.a. buckets of varying quantities of water

12. lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling

13. read more books.

2 Feb

My house gets secretly flooded during heavy rains. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. So my floor is concrete covered with mismatched pieces of plastic sheeting, and during heavy/prolonged rains water seeps in through the seam where the wall and floor meet, and collects beneath the plastic sheeting. I kept getting my socks/slippers soaked while walking around my house, but couldn't see any puddles. Finally i realized that if i step near a hole, water will geyser up. When i discovered these hidden geysers i tried to mop up the water, but more just kept coming. Then i realized the ENTIRE FLOOR was like a waterbed with too many holes, and it was still raining, so i retreated to high ground (my bed) and watched the progress. As the rains continued a lake started forming over near my door ( the lowest point of the floor), and two streams formed along seams in the sheeting, and the water trickled down to the lake. As a result of my bloodlust, there are quite a few discarded fly carcasses on the floor, who were then caught up in the deluge and also made their way down to the lake. I was waiting for my furniture to start floating away, too.

I suppose there was a good reason why the successful little pig made his house of brick, and not mud and cow dung.

10 Jan

AMERICA

America is a land of dreams, one that already feels like a dream. I spent 3 weeks in a haze of remembered things, people, places, etc. I think the thing i liked best was belonging. People took me as i was, as just another human rather than "the whitey" or "the foreigner". Nobody shouted, jeered, mocked, whistled, stared, or asked me for shit as i passed them on the street. Nobody paid any attention whatsoever! Anonymity is amazing.

I (un)fortunately both reaffirmed old connections and relationships and made new ones. It's good (great) in theory because these are amazing people but it sucks because i was just getting used to going without, and now i'm back to being without.

SUMMARY OF AMERICA:

10. freedom

9. pavement

8. strip malls

7. beer

6. all the food groups

5. sushi

4. friends

3. boys

2. feeling like home

1. instant gratification

20 Jan

USA officially gets a new president today! I'm excited to watch the inaugeration (streaming live all over africa!). It's a bit weird though because I've gone throught this whole election process from the outside. I YouTubed Obama's acceptance speech when i was home for christmas and it was the first time i've ever heard him speak before. His voice is much deeper and more resonant that i had imagined from the photos.

Today is also the second day of school! I'm only teaching 3 classes this year (2 science 1 math) so I'll have time for other projects. Also I'm the one that made teh school's timetable this year, so i personally have an awesome class sched! No classes early morn, after lunch, or on fridays! woo 3 day weekend! So anyways, what will i do with all this free time? I have many plans:

1) Trees! This is a hanously barren country, and the most offensive part is that my school campus doesn't have a single tree, nothing even near! So I'm applying for a small grant to buy shovels/water cans (which will then be used in the agriculture program) and i'm getting 200 seedlings from the ministry of forestry.

2) Scholarships- I'm trying to get scholarships for school fees for a handful of incredible students who can't afford to come to school anymore. [it's US$65 per year to attend school. If ANYONE reading this wants to sponsor one of my kids, I'll send you letters, background, photos, progress reports, whatever you need. It would make such a huge impact, and not in the amorphous "where's my money going" sally-struthers sort of way. If you're interested, email me for more info: rereilly at gmail dot com]

3) Math Club! I'm going to train some of my best students to become tutors, then I'm going to have a one day a week after school math time, where kids can work on their assignments, get help, and play maths games. (I introduced "multiplication bingo" and they're completely obsessed with it! they want to play everyday, and they want to come after school to play! every time i see them they yell "BINGO!" now. they think it's the greatest thing ever)

4) Thaba-Tseka district is holding a Diversity Camp, where 25 students from around the district come in for a day and a half and do life skillz sessions, HIV/AIDS awareness stuff, career workshops, etc. and i'm excited to help out with it.

5) A tome entitled "Survival for the Teacher Who Isn't" (1984) [type-writered, spiral bound] was unearthed from the peace corps technical library, and it's a great, fairly comprehensive resource for pcvs that teach during their service. The maths and science teachers in my group have taken it upon ourselves to overhaul/revamp/bathe in sparkles this book. I'm super excited about this project because it involves one of my favorite activities: writing about teaching + science! Right now madeline and I are in charge of the "methodology/motivation" chapter. Also I'm doing the visual aids portion, and contributing to the classroom games/science labs and demos/ math teaching techniques sections.

So, this list is mostly for my mom. But if others want to use the following information in a way that is beneficial to me, i will not complain.

Package Wonders

goldfish crackers/ cheeze-its

pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, almonds (tamari roasted!), cashews

dried fruit (mango, apricot, and cranberries are faves but all are good. except prunes, not so into those)

candy (dark chocolate, nerds, skittles, starburst, cookies n cream bars, andes mints, reeses, chewy spree, sour straws, sour patch kids, etc etc etc)

that cheesy soup mix stuff from bear creek or whatever

salmon/tuna steaks from t. joes

salsa con queso dip

mini whiskey bottles

fun food mixes (just add water type stuff: scone mixes, soup mixes, etc)

other fun trader joesy type foods, or snack type foods

cholula

magazines (make magazine, scientific american, wired, intouch, us weekly)

glitter (fine grain, a range of colors (unmixed))

pencils, pens, erasers, rulers, etc. to give away to my students for being good

new music! data cds are ok because i have access to computers

tv shows (30 rock, coupling, how i met your mother, the office)

new anime (dan i think that one's up to you, unless other readers also enjoy anime....)

movies (any and all, pretty much)

love letters

photos

So, i'm back in country! I'm in the capital now until mid-month, there's a slew of conferences and things i have to attend here before i go back to my hut. Which is good, i'm getting a slow step-down from America. First i went to Durban, in South Africa for 4 days or so. we stayed at an amazing hostel right on the beach about 45mins outside of the city, which was nice. it was just slow and relaxed and i sat on the beach all day. I got off the plane from san diego in johannesberg (about 30 hours of travel time), then hopped on a 7 hour bus to durban, then met some friends at a restaurant there where i changed in the restaurant bathroom, passed off my bags to some friends that were going back to the hostel, and went straight out to a club to go dance, and was up til oh-dark-thirty in the morning. The next day (new years eve) my immune system, after a month of near constant abuse, decided to say fuck you, and shut down.

new years eve i spent on a stool in some club trying to get the energy to dance to like half a song, then going to sit back down, and new years day i woke up with no voice, swollen lungs, and mucus everywhere. i was a wreck. so i stayed as horizontal as possible the next few days, on the beach or in bed in our closet-like room in the hostel. I'm still kind of gross and mucusy but am slowly getting better. unfortunately STUPID M_F-ING METH HEADS have ruined my life here as well. South Africa just made sudafed no longer over-the-counter, so i can't get any decongestant.

Oh! and we had a twilight-zone sort of moment in Durban, we were on a taxi, trying to get to the taxi rank where the long distance taxis are, so we could get back to lesotho and the driver and the conductor of our taxi had never heard of lesotho before! I understand americans not knowing, but them not knowing was like a californian having never heard of nevada. it's totally crazy. So we pulled out a map and showed them the country of lesotho, you know, that country that is encased within their home country of south africa. So they went to the police station to ask them if they'd heard of Lesotho, and how to get there. We were so exasperated. finally we got dropped off where we started, with a refund, and had to try again with a new taxi.

I'm gearing up for a week of different conferences here in the capital. One starts tomorrow, the "all volunteer conference" where all 80-90 volunteers in Lesotho come together to do god knows what (i haven't attended one of these before, so i have no idea what it entails). and I've been asked to emcee! woo! i guess i'm entertaining... unfortunately i'm only funny when in small groups/not on the spot, so i don't know if i'll accept the gig or not. my public speaking skillz are not that great.

So I'm going to start some sort of soccer program with my neighborhood when i go back. I received a very generous donation of three soccerballs from a friend in America, and I'm excited to go back and play! I think I'll keep one at my house, one at Vic's house (her place borders the soccer field) and one at school. oh! and Jason, if you are reading this 1. thanks! and 2. i lost the address for your music server, can you email it to me? rereilly at gmail

It's now time for... quote of the week! this gem comes from Ms. Britney Spears

"Love me, hate me, think what you will about me, but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy."

once you puzzle that one through, you will be on step closer to nirvana, and one-ness with the divine essence of the mulitverse.

I've been informed that i should be keeping my potential readers abreast of my current activities.

I"M IN AMERICA!!!!!!!!

my tummy hurts and i want to purchase everything i see.

my cell for while i'm here is 760 908 9976, i realize i'm not supposed to just post my phone number online, because that paves the way for stalkers and telemarketers, but since i'm in a crazy mood i'm just doin it.

At any rate, give me a call!

i almost missed the bus because i was dilly dallying. i had a premonition that i wasn't meant to ride that dang bus. I had a potential ride later in the day, but victoria convinced me to take the bus to make sure i get to the capital for thanksgiving, and not spend it alone in my hut.

So anyways I had to run up a mountain with my huge backpack to flag the bus down on the street, luckily i got one of the last seats, next to an obese but friendly and nice smelling 'me. Then the bus went and sat around outside someone's house for like an hour while the driver did god knows what. Then we finally got on the road, and were hauling ass when i hear a big thumpy squelchy noise. I figure it was nothing because we kept going, but then the driver stopped and reversed back to the scene of the squelch, and apparently we had run over a donkey! it was all in a pile on the road with it's donkey friend sniffing it. The driver then had a shouting match out the door with the donkey owner, they were going too fast for me to follow what they were saying, and then we vroomed off.

Then we picked up a bunch more passengers and i ended up with a smelly blanket man standing in the aisle next to me, leaning over my seat with his icky blanket all up in my face. ugh. so i took a sleepy pill and passed out for an hour or so, and woke up to a different man sitting next to me in the aisle vomiting into his bucket hat, and swaying his head so it kept almost bumping my thigh. I tried to shrink away but the lady on my other side was taking up her seat and part of mine, so i curled around and kind of side-spooned this lady trying to keep vomit man away from me. Someone gave him a plastic bag to put his vomit hat in, which he then left UNDER MY SEAT, and exited the bus. I was wearing flip flops and couldn't put my feet down on the floor for the next 3 hours because vomit juice was leaking out of the bag all over the floor beneath me. At least people opened the windows for once, so it didn't smell too bad. Or maybe i'm just so used to bad smells in general this didn't bother me too much.

Then I got to town, went to Colleens, showered for a year, and had some amazing thanksgiving feastiness! And then went swimming in a pool! I drank too much beer though.

The End.

4 Nov

So we have to fill out these trimester report forms every few months, which consists of a sheaf of papers asking us to quantify exactly how many people we've helped and in what way. the numbers all get compiled and sent to washington d.c. where peace corps can be like "ok, exactly 4,000 15-24 year olds were told to use condoms. We need that number to be 6,000 by 2011" or something. At any rate for my 1st trimester report i had all sorts of stuff to write down with teaching, science kit workshops, childrens' health day, debates, etc. and felt good about my service here. For the one i just filled out, i had NOTHING to write, other than teaching. It was pathetic! ugh, I apparently lost all vigor after winter break. Then i remembered: oh, yeah! I'm at school for an ungodly number of hours every day with double shifting. Also, all sports, clubs and debates were cancelled for the forseeable future because there's no actual after/before school time in which to do these. There's only 2 weeks of classes left, then exams, then home! Then i'll be back all refreshed and excited to get shit done next year. Also new ED volunteers arrive 14 nov and i'm helping with training! I get to do a session on the use of visual aids, nutrition, and something else i think. also i get to mooch free lunch!

I was walking home with my coworker yesterday and after spending 20 minutes telling her i will not get her a job in USA, nor will i just pass her CV around, but she's welcome to visit me and do that herself anytime. Then she told me if/when she visits america she doesn't want to go where a lot of black people are because they're crooks. I then gently pointed out that she was black. THen i thought about it, and the only example Basotho have seen of blacks and whites coexisting (if they've seen any) is South Africa. So high density black areas are mostly all in teh townships wehre people are dirt poor and so of course there's crime. She's convinced white people don't mug/carjack/hold up people. I tried to tell her, "yeah we (as in whiteys) do that too" but like most things i try to tell anybody here, she didn't listen/ doesn't believe me. It's just all so uphill trying to tell anybody something they don't already know/suspect. It's also ridiculously difficult to convince people that Lesotho and S. Africa are not the only countries with HIV/AIDS epidemics and that (gasp) we even have it in America, the land of sunshine and lollipops!

In other news, I almost got mauled by a dog the size of a large wheelbarrow yesterday. I've been walking past that motherfudger at least twice a day for almost a year now and yesterday it decides to attack me! I had to sprint for a large pile of rocks to grab one and threaten to crush in the hellbeast's skull with and it shied away at the last moment but kept barking and growling just out of reach and i had to walk slowly and calmly away. Then when i got home my knees almost collapsed i was so freaked out. The dogs here do not mess around when attacking. Stupid dog, now i'm afraid to use that shortcut to school anymore. I'm considering getting a molamu (herdboy stick) to carry with me so i can smack it if it tries to consume me again.

Speaking of near death experiences, weekend before last I was in the capital and some friends and i decided to find a park to hang out in for the afternoon. We heard about one over by the taxi rink (a hellhole of disgust with really good deals on jewelry/pirated dvds etc.) so we go, and the entrance is kind of down a hill off the road, through a gate guarded by children (our first tip-off) then we entered this parallel universe of rolling hills and bit trees and slides and swings that was completely run by children. It was like Lord of the Flies. As soon as we entered (not only the only whiteys but also the only people over 15 years old) I noticed all the kids cock their heads toward us, like they were sniffing the air, sizing us up. We decided to be brave and continue and chose a corner at the back of the park to sit. As soon as we sat down we noticed all the kids sloowwly migrating over to the slides closest to us. Then finally their leader approached, a scrappy little boy, probably around 13 years old, and asked us for beer or sweets. As soon as he came up 20 other kids rushed over, then 30 more, so we were COMPLETELY surrounded and I kept thinking of this Joyce Carol Oates short story i read where this woman goes on a hike in a nature preserve and 15 small children attack and maul/rob/de-clothe her. So Vicki and I grab sticks and threatened to beat them (a normal occurrance here, i threaten small children almost daily) and we tried to tell them that we have no sweets and they're too young for beer and blah blah. They all stood just out of stick range and stared at us (people here, children and adults, have an amazing ability to/interest in staring at us while we go through normal daily routines, I've gotten used to being a monkey in their zoo) So finally two basotho friends who were meeting up with us arrived and helped extricate us from the mob. The children then followed us across the park, insisting that we wouldn't be able to get rid of them, and they were going to follow us around forever. Luckily they stopped at the gate and just stared after us like hungry souls (who also enjoy yelling obscenities)

So I had a dream the other night that I named my dog "Hooked on Phonics" and that I called her "Phonics" for short. Since I always follow my dreams, I've officially renamed Spots/Spads/Professor Picklesworth. I now dub her phonics.

12 Nov

So the "bell system" at my school consists fo a form B student with a watch and a hand bell. This means we're all at the mercy of a student to decide when classes change. I like to get in fights (jokingly) with the bell boy, telling him he's late, or early. He always responds with something like "the times are not similar, madam" and i say, "yeah because you're WRONG" but he's a pretty stand up kid, though. always stands strong and doesn't let me phase him . He does lengthen periods if he's into what we're learning/isn't done done with the classwork, and he shortens boring periods. Today he's m-f-ing 20 minutes late though! The classes are only 40 minutes long to begin with. Argh. Luckily I'm done with the syllabus and am only doing review games so it's ok to miss a class.

the other maths teacher, N. Moalosi

'Me Tebello, geography prof

I am the braai master (with a school shirt!)

quick! where's waldo?

N. Moshoeshoe (named after the first king! I'm not sure if he's a decendant or not...)

Me with Ntate Letsatsi (lit. trans. Mr Sunshine)

Me with Ntate Chelete (lit: Mr. Money)

My students. They're being "badass niggers", and yes, they learn these words from American rap songs.

My school!

hiking trip photos:

the chief of Ha Jobo, (he's sitting outside his kitchen hut, where we slept) (m-fing kitchen huts smell like smoky bullshit and now my sleeping bag is forever tainted because the basotho never developed chimney technology)After getting minorly lost and hiking for about 10 - 10 1/2 hours, we were left on the precipice at the very very top of the mountain in the background, by that V where the two mountains come together, and had to hike to where this pic is taken. i thought i might die with jelly legs of doom

Things I'm Into, Lately

bananashandkerchiefs (both for wearing and nose blowing, though not simultaneously)thunderstormssobrietyspinning around in circlesrandom text message capitalizationshow felicity is a badly dressed obsessive freak, ben is an egotist, noel is alright but makes me nervous just watching him, and julie has questionable taste in hair clipsthrowing things at my students, especially if they're sleeping/not paying attention. or if kids outside are loud i'll throw things out the window.Metric, and Arrah and the FernsRacetrack from the major motion picture "Newsies"cheesethe grocery store had green beans, potatoes, AND eggs on monday!reading my kids penpal letters. my favorite quote: "in my country witches ride on dwarves it looks like a small baby but it kills people at night".Hearing that people (besides my parents) are still reading this silly blagFAILblog (or at least i'm into this when i have internet)banana-coconut-mixed dried berry-snocap-cinnamon pancakeshomemade samosasthinking about visiting Japanmaking "mix tapes" on my ipodThings I've Received RecentlyA free school tshirtcommendations on my braai (bbq) skillz after i grilled steaks for 4 hours at a school picnica tummy ache from eating steak for 4 hours straight at said school picnicmultiple compliments on how fat (and therefore happy) i amProtection from bo-ntate (men) given by my faithful pint sized runt, The ProfessorExtreme soreness in my feet areas from hiking for 11 hours in one daythe satisfaction of knowing i hiked through 3 districts in 2 days~20 bedbug bites (luckily not from my bed)enhancements on my wicked farmer tana 'scotch whiskey and habanero chili' dark chocolate bar from Munichmajor welts on my legs from walking home in a horrific hail storm, i still have the bruises!Things I Have Not Received Recentlymailmarriage proposalsinspirationwill powerpeaches (it snowed on the blossoms so the whole peach season is f*ed!)the satisfaction of a completed NY times crossword puzzlegiardia from drinking semi-stagnant river watera lightning bolt of language comprehensiona literal lightning bolt to the dome from these crazy stormsThings I'm NOT Into, Latelywindrandom creepy bored TTI guys that follow me homeI have to pay M50 for that stupid non-free school shirtmy clothes smell like beef and charcoali seem to be unable to get a balloon or a plastic bag to stick to the wall to demo electrostatic forcethe tp being blown out of/down my latrinesexual frustrationfreaking typhoons that cause me to be stuck at school til 5:30 pm, and then drowning me when i make a run for it.AccomplishmentsShaved my legs for the first time in almost a year, it's INCREDIBLE! I feel so streamlined, like a porpoise, but with a lower body mass indexteaching my kids more 90s slang, telling them this is how we talk in America. (examples: radical, tubular, eat my shorts, don't have a cow) So I now have a hoard of retarded bart simpson/bill and ted types running aroundI've turned myself into a one-woman photo-op. I told the kids i'd get pictures printed in Maseru for them so everyone and their mother now wants pictures, a lot of them with me.I moved my nightstand from the right side of my bed to the left. (it's like i have a whole new hut!)

AMERRIICAAAAAA, oh i can't wait to eat your food.

I arrive in san diego 5 december, and leave san diego 30 december

i'll be in the Berkeley/San Fran area 13 Dec-21 Dec

PLEASE hang out with me!

God almighty saved our little sally because god heard their prayer it can work miracles sally grew up to be a nanny

Oh! what ails me? what?

listen: i will raise my hands up. I will kneel down until i feel pain

always life seems easier to people who concentrate on education sometimes life seems tough and sky becomes duck to people who are vexatious1. grocery 2. clothing

3. BELIEFS NEEDS

4. INSURANCE

5. AGRICULTURE

6. MAINTENANCE

7.

cold blood means the animal that live in water and freeze to death every time

Hey! Back again! My school is mildly killing my soul so i keep escaping. This next week is just exams anyway and the more i avoid invigilation duties, the better. especially since i suck at it, because you see the kids looking at each other's papers, and the other teachers just whack 'em with a big stick, but i still can't bring myself to get medievil on their asses. and also i really don't want to take their tests and give them zeros because the exam is their only grade, we're not allowed to include assignments or class participation or anything into the grade, and these poor kids' families are going hungry to pay their school fees, and then to f-them over by giving them a zero? i can't! ugh so i'm just ineffective to the extreme. and also this is all me rationalizing the fact that i'm missing a week of school in order to bum around the capital and go to all these random parties happening.

A lot of volunteers hate coming to Maseru because it's all big (by our standards- there are about 500,000 people here) and busy and smelly and kind of overwhelming but once you get past all of that it becomes the land of electric lights, avoiding work, couches, vegetables, cheese, the internet, and movies! I love doing nothing and seeing other volunteers and hanging out and staying up after dark and trying to remember what on earth i used to do online all day long, and eating pizza and all sorts of wondrous activities.

When here i exist almost solely on vegetables, cheese, and whiskey. it's beautiful (but expensive) I'll be here until this coming weekend so i'll be able to respond promptly to emails, etc. My official reason for staying is that i need to compile/edit the rogue newsletter i've become the editor of. This issue i'm trying to make electronic so i can save on photocopy/stampage fees but i need to locate a scanner... if it does become electronic i may be able to upload it to the 'net so it's possible you all can see, and marvel at the fact that you don't understand a word of it becasue it's all so lesotho-centric! hoo-rah!

31 August

There have been gale-force winds, day and night for a few weeks now but they haven't managed to blow in any clouds. we need rain so badly, but every day it's all frickin cloudless and sunny. i miss the rain so much! ahh ptown. anyway the wind makes going outside miserable, since it's so dry these huge dust clouds come up and roam the town, making it hard to see (i'm considering investing in goggles) and blowing dirt into my eyes ears nose mouth clothes house EVERYTHING. it's all full of a layer of grit. I can't wait for winter to be over! the peach trees have started to blossom, and it's so perty.

1 Sept

While i love my mud hut for its insulative properties, problems arise when things like modern windows and doors are installed. The dry mud crumbles away from the metal frame so i have HUGE gaps around my window and door, and mud chunks are always falling off onto my floor. This is all fine and breezy in the summer, but in winter, especially with these tornadic winds about it becomes very lame. Last night i duct taped my window closed and around the cracks, and along all the edges and f-ing snow was still somehow blowing into my house. grr. my bed's right next to the window too so i had to make a little cave in my mounds of blankets to keep from freezing to death.

since you all love me and want to see my face, here are some pics from vic's camera that i'm actually in! (i realize i'm not really in any of my own pics)

from the desert to the ocean, quadbike style

where i belong

tai chi at dune 45

i likes me some sand

action! that's me landing on my head

rolling is hard work cave dwelling, with strong ankles

i wanna poke it

small children in blankets! at the cultural festival

these toy cars the little boys make out of wire and old tin cans. they're super cool

ahh the professor

dinosaur bone ceiling. and yes that is a light bulb, it is there to mock me

town

20 August

we got a new puppy! My abuti named this one Spots after our previous puppy, Spots, who was stoned to death in january (Neither dog has/had spots, btw). I had previously named this puppy Professor Picklesworth, so i guess we'll just have to let the dog decide which name it prefers. It's super cute and amazing and i have reaffirmed that dogs are WAAY better than cats, especially whiny cats named parkinsons who may or may not have given me fleas.

the professor and I

school is going well, it's really tiring, but good, and i love my students incredibly (in a completely appropriate platonic sort of way) and we have 6 new teachers this semester who are all really nice. 4 are student teachers so they're all young and hip and stuff. and my two favorite teachers are Ntate Chelete (transl: Mr. Money) and Ntate Letsatsi (Mr. Sunshine). The Basotho have great names, sometimes.

It's almost springtime so i can plant my garden soon (Thanks, uncle jim!) and then i will have more than onions, carrots, and cabbage, vegetable-wise.

I missed all of last week of school because i am a derelict (I know, inappropriate word usage, but i like the way it sounds). I went down to the capital for a meeting with staff (I represent my district in the volunteer union, of sorts) then stayed for a workshop put on by an organization called "Men as Partners" which, though it sounds gay-rights centered, is really gender-equality centered. it's a movement to try to get men involved in womens' empowerment in southern africa, to get them to understand why women should be empowered and support their mothers/sisters/wives/girlfriends/etc. It was a great workshop, but very adult specific, so i'm trying to come up with a way to adapt the activities for primary/high school aged people. I think instituting the mindset of "women are just as good as men and should have the same rights" will be a lot more successful with the younger crowd, who're less set in their ways.

Also, i'm no longer in the newest group of volunteers! (groups come every 6 months, with education (Ed) vols arriving in nov. and community health and economic development (CHED) vols coming in june) so it's kind of like high school with a 4-group hierarchy and the new CHEDS were sworn in, which makes me like a sophmore! woo! i really want to help out with the training of the new ED volunteers when they come in Nov, but i won't get a choice in the matter, my boss said he just chooses the vols he thinks are "responsible, professional, etc" and while i am responsible, i'm not the most professional gal around, i still need to work on the whole think-before-i-speak thing, and to filter out inappropriate comments. So really I don't know if he'll let me help. I'll just have to wait and see.

So there have been multiple taxi strikes since i've been here because the cost of a taxi-bus license was raised from M200 to M1000. This is the government trying to raise money to buy busses to help regulate/expand the transportation system here. and we just got TWO BRAND NEW BUSSES! in the Thaba-Tseka-Maseru line! So now if i want i can ride in a bus that's not from 1970 that breaks down/explodes every other trip! Hoorah progress! Also the paving of the road is going well so my trip is about an hour shorter and 5000 times safer than it used to be. TT is entering the 21st century, slowly but surely. Next thing you know we might have INTERNET! probably not during my tenure here, though.

24 August

So when deciding to enter the peace corps, i readied myself (ish) for being away from home for 2 years. It's part of the whole deal, and i did/have still accepted that, except my dear mom and dad love me! and so they have offered to fly me home for christmas! holy crap! i told them that i'd think about it because my initial reaction is, No! I'm here for 2 years stick it out YOU CAN DO IT. also the culture shock of going home then leaving it again seems like it might be a bit too much. But i can't stop thinking about it, and i'm already super super excited! So i'm going to look for plane tickets, and hopefully i can find some that aren't too expensive. anyone that'll be in the san diego area in december, GET READY! it'll be super awesome! woo! i'll probably have to lie to my coworkers about it though because they'll ask me to buy them all sorts of things. they still think i'm rich.

and my sneakers gave me an unfortunate b-list-er on my heel. lame.

Things I do When I'm Bored

1. Make lists

2. Do crosswords

3. Make crosswords for friends

4. Sit by the coal stove in the staff room with my coworkers

5. Draw pictures

6. Make comics

7. Play "if you had one day in USA, what would you..." [eat, drink, do, etc.]

8. Think about dating celebrities (Shia LeBeouf and the singer of Snow Patrol are some odd recurring ones)

9. Make up scenarios for where i'll live/what i'll do/ awesome guys i'll meet upon my return to the states

10. Try not to flirt with my coworkers

11. Not study sesotho

12. Read old science textbooks (the ones donated by christian schools are weeirrd)

13. Read other random books (right now i'm trying to battle my way through Clavell's Shogun)

14. Play with spots II/Professor Picklesworth

15. Harass Parkinsons (and no the alliteration in pet names was not intended)

16. Shadow dance with myself (candle light makes for good shadows)

17. Think of interesting food combinations

18. Clean my hut

19. Try not to bake tasty things

20. Attempt to do the splits

21. Call Victoria on the walkie-talkie

22. Dance like a Mosotho man (involves a lot of pelvic thrusts)

23. Practice juggling (if i have enough similar sized fruit)

24. Memorize the words to cheesy pop songs

25. Stare at my dinosaur bone ceiling

26. Think deep mature thoughts and reflect on my life and grow as a person

27. Draw "cave paintings" on my latrine walls with a brown crayon

28. Lie as still as possible for as long as possible and see if i lose substance

Things That Increase My Heart Rate

1. Almost getting impaled by a mad cow

2. Cheese

3. Madeline Cozad

4. Thoughts of the weekend

5. Blasting Avril, Britney, or happy hardcore in the morning to get myself out of bed

6. Doing sit ups in the neverending Battle Against the Fetus

7. Completely finishing a crossword with no cheating

8. Hugs

9. Hiking to/from school (especially if i need to pee and am rushing)

10. Jumping Jacks

11. Thinking about kisses

12. The phone ringing

13. My students saying "Yes, we understand" and meaning it

14. Thinking about GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!

Things That Make Me Sad and/or Annoyed

1. Today is friday. I last bathed on monday

2. Fleas

3. Hearing an anonymous student call me "'Me Lekhooa" and not knowing what to do about it

4. Not everyone is as excited by the periodic table as I am

5. Apparently the teachers at my school are going to have to wear uniforms, too. I'm confused as to how this will work

6. Random smelly herdboys coming to my house and asking me to give and/or buy them a sheep

7. Gross smelly obnoxious herdboys on the bus who dance over me with their yucky old blankets draping so I can't lean back in my seat for the ENTIRE 6 hour bus ride. (and also having everyone else on the bus laugh at me, like haha white girl getting harassed by herdboys. jerks.)

8. Realizing i need to pee half hour into a 6 hour bus ride

9. My fetus is unchanged by the 100-150 situps i'm doing each day

10. Wondering if my sister is sick all the time because she has aids, or if her immune system just sucks.

11. wind

12. wind in a dusty country

Things I Know Now But Didn't Before

1. Springbok is the tastiest meat evar

2. The difference between rabbits and hares

3. The 5 characteristics of minerals

4. Inappropriate and funny are not always the same thing

5. Chocolate oatmeal rocks my socks off

6. L.A., Cleveland, and Queens are all right near each other

7. Shredding carrots can sometimes be dangerous

8. RIP Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes

9. The movie "Friday" is a lot funnier if you pretend it was filmed in Lesotho

10. Including words like "speculum" and "catheter" in my cursing/insults is fun

11. The sesotho word "noka" can, depending on vocal inflection/context mean "river", "to salt something", or "thigh", and this is potentially confusing

12. Britney, you go girl. I fully support and eagerly anticipate your grand comeback

birthday papa! (my 'Me made me wheat papa.... mmmmmm)

the etosha pan is this miles-wide area of crazy jello-like mud that's too deep to walk in vic did a mudmask, i did warpaint, then we realized our faces were burning. i think that was the feeling of clean pores.

more ice cream! and balloons!

it's a reality. VIGILANCE!

a meteorite actually did fall, then we basked upon it

giraffes are not eaten because they are animals that are tall enough to talk to the gods, and to let you know if it'll rain soon. (ahh the age-old joke of "how's the weather up there?!")

zebras, as a species, are bad tempered because they have chronic bad gas (their stomachs can't fully digest their main food source) i ate them. they were not tasty. they can, however, have body temperatures of up to 45 degrees but their brains won't fry because of a network of veins across the skull, cooling the blood/their heads.

the hunnybadgers are hunngry

demons of the speed persuasion

'ell if rhi know!

wildebeest, and springbok i think

no caption necessary

becoming a part of the landscape

plummeting to their deaths

trench warfare

photo-ops in the one-horse town of Solitaire

african sunrise....

to sunset

trials and tribulations in the tumultuous dunes

quick, look like you're inside computer desktop picture yeah, we went there.

ice cream and alcohol! go indulgence!

social weaverbird nest, they get HUGE! until the tree falls down, a lot of the time. they also do this to powerline poles, which is funny looking.

apparently we lost in badmitton though. curses!

7 August

ugh, i'm failing at thinking of things to write about. I feel like i'm just talking to myself/the void on this blog, and i can't think of anything to say to the residents of a place that only marginally exists for me anymore, and i've given up on writing letters to people who never write back. If you want a letter, you have to write me. so there. I'm sick and tired of this place, but don't want to give up and go home either.

Well, update: school's started gain, school's started again, and this whole "double-shifting" thing (half the students come 7am-noon, other half noon-5pm, same teachers throughout) is not the doomsday event that everyone (including myself) made it out to be. I'm actually teaching less than before because all of teh students' classes have been cut back, and there's a new student teacher taking up the slack in the science dept. I've just gotten so lazy/stopped caring so it's hard to get the motivation to go to class. My students are sweethearts, though and it's really nice to see them again. I've lost a lot of my favorite kids though with the classes all getting switched around. i guess i can look at it as an opportunity for new favorites. and my classes are so so tiny now! it feels all empty in the classroom with only 35-40 kids in a class now instead of 55-60. maybe i'll actually learn everyone's names now.

Oh yeah! I'm a year older now than the last post. woo 24! My neighbor made a vat of sorghum moonshine and we sat around in the sun drinking, doing crosswords, and playing with puppies all day, then my 'Me made a big dinner. it was really nice.

So, Lesotho is maybe 95% Basotho, and 5% chinese. Europeans never came here because Lesotho has the virtue of having nothing to exploit, so the only white people here are from various NGOs/ Int'l aid programs. Anyway, there's REALLY bad racism/discrimination towards the chinese, they get shoved, insulted, spit on, etc. They can't enroll their kids in regular schools becasue they'll get harassed so badly. Some small children, having never seen white people i suppose, assume because i'm not black i must be chinese, so i get inappropriate racist slurs yelled at me by toddlers/kindergarten aged children. A couple times they've thrown rocks at me, but luckily since they are small they have no arm so i'm never close to being hit. stupid inept little kids. At least i'm not asian-american though, thouse volunteers get untold-of amounts of shit during their stay here. I haven't met a single mosotho who thinks it's wrong to hate, or at least dissapprove of, chinese people. I miss the diversity of the States. i've tried to tell people about how the races are all mixed up there, but they don't really believe me. I have a pictures of my grandma Betty, uncle Jim, cousin Paul, and Paul's son Isaac to show them how it's all the same family, but the offspring get progressively more asian looking with each generation. The people i show this to still look kind of dubious, like they doubt those people are really related. During a sex-ed session, amidst the questions about inter-species sex i had a few about inter-racial sex, like "if a mosotho cannot get a sheep pregnant, can he get a chinese or white person pregnant?". A lot of questions you never really foresee occuring in your life have been inquired of me here.

I have an exchange program going on in the staff room, where i teach my co-workers spanish and they help me with my sesotho. They think it's great, though they seem to only be using it as a means to flirt with each other. i've been asked to translate such useful phrases as "the teachers here are beautiful" "i love you" "do you love me" "come sit by the fire" "these men are strong" etc. I like it cuz it helps me remember my spanish. It's all mixed up with sesotho though in my head. i keep confusing myself.

well, i ended up saying a lot for not having anything to say.

Ok, sorry no pics just yet, for some reason this computer won't recognize my camera. stupid technology.

19 July

We just got to Etosha National Park, this campsite is incredible! There are 3 outdoor showers and toilets just for our site. they're a little voyeuristic with just thick mesh for walls. There are Hyrax (rock ferrets) running around outside, and on the way in there were all these giraffes just chillin by the side of the road!

Before this we stayed at this campsite with HUGE rocks and we all went bouldering for a few hours, it was so much fun. Man, i really miss bouldering. My jolly jolly thighs have seized up though and refuse to work today, which makes getting in and out of the truck difficult. i have to sort of fall out.

This morning we saw 600,000 year old cave paintings! they're soo cool! they're done with a mix of blood and yolk from ostrich eggs. Then victoria and i stood on a rock and shadow danced/fought for like an hour. we would've been there all day probably if our slave driver tour guide didn't make us leave. Man, we are funny funny people. We created what will be the next hit on youtube, if i'm ever able to upload it.

Before that i discovered my new obsession: QUAD BIKING. Holy crap! It has awakened my need for speed. we went for 1 hour in the afternoon on piddly 125cc automatic bikes, and it was waay too slow/short for me, so i cancelled my sandboarding excursion the next day and booked 90 minutes (all i could afford) and got a 250cc semi automatic (you have to weigh at least 80 kg to get teh 350 cc manual bikes, and though i have gained a lot of weight, i'm not that big). it still wasn't enough. i wanted to go all day. we "rollercoastered" on the dunes where you rocket up one side of a dune, do a sharp turn at teh top and plummet down again, i just gunned it the whole time, going higher and faster. (sidenote: the kalahari desert is BEAUTIFUL, it goes right to the ocean and the dunes are amazing) I impressed the guide with my skillz and daring.

Then before that we were in the huge red dunes of the Namib desert, we kept climbing up and rolling down them, the sand is so soft. I'd just sort of dive headfirst from the top of a dune and go into uncontrolled summersaults, until i fell sideways into uncontrolled log rolling. I permanently have sand in every orifice, i think some new ones were even created, and i severely messed up my neck from landing on my head so many times, but it was definitely worth it. We're enforcing the stereotype of Americans being loud obscene nutcases, but that's ok because we're having more fun than them. We really pretty much never stop laughing.

It's weird tho, because we're on an organized safari, everywhere we go we're just surrounded by tourists, it's like waiting in line at the parthenon, except i'm in friggin africa in this ginormous desert and everyone's concentrated in a few places. After Mongolia, Namibia is the least densely populated country in the world (1.8 million people, same as lesotho) so we've seen almost no actual namibians except in the big cities. i'm used to lesotho where there are villages scattered pretty evenly across the entire country, and no tourism to speak of. The back roads in teh middle of nowhere in this country are 100x nicer than the main f-ing road to the middle of lesotho where i live, and even the smaller backwater towns here are way nicer than Maseru (the capital). When i tell people i live in lesotho, it's a good way to garner pity/ lower prices while bartering. Lesotho is seen kind of as the armpit of Southern Africa. Whatever, at least we have pretty mountains, and nice people.

We (the tour group) are all on mefliquone, an antimalarial and it's giving everyone crazy dreams. Others are dreaming of being killed, shot, shooting others, general distress (or if you're madeline each dream ends in a party). I keep getting my heart broken, almost every dream it happens somehow. Everything's so vivid though, it's almost worth it.

27 July

Home again! I knew i was getting close when the sidewalks disappear, streets started being lined with trash and men start jeering at me. Good 'ol Lesotho. I can't wait to get back to my hut and sleep in my own bed and see Malehluoa and my 'Me again. I feel like i've been on vacation forever. day before yesterday (afternoon) we boarded the bus at Windhoek, then got to Bloemfontein 20 hours later, then an hour wait, then a 2 hour taxi to Maseru, where i spent the night last night, now it's 8:30 am and i'm waiting for the bus to leave here to get to thaba tseka, which will take about 6 hours. I've gotten really good at long car rides while living here.

And now, Mosilisi, Lesotho's PM has come out in support of Mugabe, saying that his win in a one-man election is legitimate. wtf

I hate the internet. here we will try once again:

So, due to the requests for me to get to the point and put my thousands of words into photos, here they are!

drying out meroho (leafy greens) and maize to get us through the winter

my sis sewing a dress the two facial expressions i most often inspire in the children of lesotho: small furry creatures that like to plague me. parkinsons on the left, tsotse (theif/criminal) on right two bo-ausi making snowflakes with me in my roundavel

water balloons Lesotho Style (don't worry they weren't used)

huddled around the coal stove in the staff room. N. Chelete is rockin out to my headphones, i think i'm introducing him to Blackalicious as a counterargument to Lil Bow Wow being legit music.

more Rockin Out. please do not notice the chubbsy faced whitey on the right.

I found an appropriate whiskey for my profession

ok, this is SO F-ING SLOW. so i'm giving you words while i wait for pictures. damn you internet, and damn you all websites that have imbedded flash or a million jpegs causing me to be unable to access you unless i wait the 20 minutes for everything to download. The makers of websites have totally forgotten that dial up internet does indeed still exist, and is used by a large part of the world. or a large part of my world, at least.

30 June:

So I didn't get to hang out with the old lady because she was in the hospital. While waiting for her to show i was able to watch some awesome music videos from some botswanan music group, a movie called Matilda about some mischevious little girl that's so smart and has read so many books that she can move shit with her mind and so defeats the evil headmistress, and also a dvd containing every britney spears music video ever made (there are like 20!). i forgot how awesome britney used to be. Then yesterday i hiked to the river (1.5-2hrs down/up a mtn) with a bunch of kids and Ben, an american with grand multimedia plans for the future of lesotho. We went to fish, but with nothing to bait the hooks with we didn't catch much. Instead we roasted corn, took a bunch of pictures with a film-less camera, swung on swings woven from still attached branches, threw rocks, played with "water balloons" (condoms we found by the river), got really wet trying to ford the river, and really singed trying to dry off over a fire. All in all, a super awesome day. Of course my camera ran out of batteries after 4 pictures. i have chronic power struggles with that battery inhaler. (did you spot the pun?! yes....) Right now i'm in the staff room at school, i stopped by to say hi to the teachers doing winter classes, deliver mail, and discuss the merits of 'Lil Bow Wow'. (I'm not sure who that is, but my position is anti, based on the name alone)

+Warning+: This is me ranting without a lot of factual support/well thought through arguments, so you might want to skip it in favor of more pretty pictures.2 July:It's a perversion, an indecency, what i'm doing here. It's just so blatantly selfish. The basotho, many of them, see it too and have us volunteers for it. What fucking retard would give up a good life for this sort of poverty? That we can be so blasé, so unconcerned about what we have that we'd give it up to come "help" here, it's an affront. It's like rubbing their noses in it. We can leave, go home whenever we want. Even the most educated and motivated mosotho is hard pressed to find a job/higher education in South Africa, and Lesotho itself is just dead ends. This whole place is dead ends for people used to dead ends. They see, and know what it is to be born here and not there are are so stubbornly proud. I love the Basotho for their national pride. In this nation of zero resources, one of the recipients of the highest amt foreign aid per capita, this place where imports at least triple the exports, they still stand so tall. We fucking americans, who denounce our country, who put Canadian flags on our luggage when abroad, who are we? We let ourselves be defined by such fads, such limited factors. Sure the administration sucks, but i've never met a mosotho who defined themself or their country by the actions of their corrupt ill equipped government. It never even occurred to them to act like the actions of the Prime Minister reflect the national consciousness, or their own dignity at all. (I realize these are horrifically sweeping statements and that neither of these are ideal positions with many finer points, but this isn't going to be that in depth. i'm just ranting.) The Basotho are smart enough to be proud of what they have: their independence, their traditions, their own people, music genre, and the 'best' way of preparing papa (maize meal). I'm so sick of Americans lamenting so much with such vehemence. We ran out of actual complaints and have lost our sense of what we have accomplished at the same time. I don't want to feel guilty about what i have, what i grew up with, and i don't. I do feel like an ass for taking it all for granted. Roads, hospitals, youth centers, movie theaters, diversity, grocery stores, a largely progressive populace, all of it. Oh, it's romantic in a way, living in a mud hut, reading by candle light, lending my "vast knowledge and experience" at the high school. Nothing I do, nothing peace corps ever does, is sustainable though. This really is a "get paid to see the world" gig for recent college grads. I knew that upon entering, in face it's one main reason i applied. Being here, though, it makes me feel like an idiot, flaunting what i had to go on a jaunt to the third world for a couple years. At the end of this I'll just be abandoning the students I've spent 2 years convincing to trust me, listen to me, learn from me. They'll really just learn that i left them. I've gotten innumerable stories about "that lekhooa" that used to live here and promised this and that, then left and forgot about everyone here and what they promised. I'm just another in the parade of halfway-caring better offs to come and leave. p.s. sorry for all the run on sentences. and negativity. i know there are lots of positives, and this isnt all and everything. i'm entitled to be negative sometimes, alright?

26June:

Potential B-day Happiness

letters/pictures

aforementioned desirable package items

seasons 1-3 of coupling

Season 3 greys anat.

How I met your mother (any, all)

good books and music

airline whiskey bottles

cajun spice and sweet hungarian paprika from limbo in ptown

hugs

kisses

etc.

Last night i had my 1st taste of "white flag" joala. There are 2 main schools of moonshine in Lesotho: yellow flag and white flag. When you brew, you hoist plastic bags of the appropriate color on a pole outside so people can come partake. Yellow flag is sweet, winey mooonshine that has been described to me as tasting of "fermented bleu cheese dressing". White flag is sorghum based, is really thick and chunky, and tastes kind of like sour cream of wheat. Victoria's family came out to visit so her lesotho family threw a feast. it was really nice, and we all drank joala and danced and had fun. Vic's mom thought this one little girl, lintle (2-3 yrs old) was super cute barging around the room knocking into peoples' legs, but i don't think she realized the little one was drunk on too much moonshine. There's no concept here of "too young to drink".

eee, some ducks are approaching dangerously near me as i write. Luckily i'm ok with ducks, so i will not flinch. There are roosters here too, and along with being majorly obnoxious and crowing at 4 am, they freak me out. I have to arc my walking patterns significantly to avoid them.

Now I'm sitting around outside my neighbor's house watching a little barefoot boy attempt to play the banjo whilst reclining in a wheelbarrow. It's super cute, and i really wish i had a camera. I'm doing an awful job chronicling my stay here in pictures. We're drinking more joala from last night, and the little one is drunk again. Eventually today i'm going with them to visit 'me julia's "grandmother". THe reason that's in quotes is because i'm skeptical she has an alive grandmother because she's way old and a grandmother herself. It's fun to try to communicate with crotchedy old ladies sometimes. It's better if they're drunk becaue then they speak slower and i can understand them easier.

I'm mildly regretting the hectic winter break i have. It'd be nice to have more time to sit around. A la today. stupid me and my commitment making.

Hey,

i'm all out of it, i feel like i've been repeating myself a lot, and so i can't remember what i've already written in this here blaggy and what i've just been telling people. that's partially why i'm into condensing my life into lists. i've been in the capital for a week, eating haenous amounts of food and drinking whiskey and red wine, so my body is freaking out a bit. all these forgotten food groups such as meat, dairy, and fresh fruit. i have major food baby issues. but, i have been showering every single day almost since i've been here, and i feel almost too clean. my hair is all floofy and shit. AND i stole lindseys clothes so i'm all pretty, too! (she has lots of pretty clothes). so all in all life is good. i leave tom morn for home for a week where i will relax, sleep all day, and read lots of mediocre books. then i'll be back for more rich food and alcohol and friends and internets and dresses and cleanliness and things.

my camera was mia since last month when i was in town, so no new pics. maybe i'll take some this intervening week so i can post some eye candy next time i'm in town.

ok. i'm too out of it to post. goodbye forever!

So, first off, i realize you're all broke, but in the case of fiscal responsibility/sudden bouts of inheritance, i would like to formally invite anyone desiring happiness/adventure in life to visit me.

Just think: sometime later on you'll see this amazing (wo)man, and have the desire to attract them. if you follow my advice, you'll be able to start speaking loudly about "when i was in africa...". Said hottie will be irresistibly drawn to you, and you will then regale them with tales of wonder. we can even feed some babies or something while you're here, if you're into that. You'll be a chick/dude magnet! The logic for visiting me is undeniable.

To excite you about your impending visit, i've put together 3 suggeseted vacation packages. these by no means need to be followed. off the beaten track is a-ok with me.

1. The Kingdom in the Sky $

The most affordable package involves chillaxin with me in Lesotho. See what my life is like!

possible adventurez: pony trekking, hiking, using a pit latrine, donkey pub crawls

2. Summer Lovin' (Winter for you N. Hemisphere fools) $$

While the rest of the continent is boiling, we can frolic round South Africa! Durban, Cape Town, the Wild Coast, Kruger Nat'l park all await!

possible adventurez: swimming in both the indian and atlantic oceans, being eaten by lions, going on wine tours, etc.

3. Go North $$$

good for winter, also fun any other time. these adventurez are more expensive because they're farther away (= more transportation, more time away, etc.)

Mozambique: beaches, seafood, dancing, djs. possible adventurez: aquiring a harem, introducing new dance moves

Botswana: elephants, okavango delta, victoria falls. possible adventurez: falling out of a canoe and getting eaten by hippos, "swimming" in the mist of Vic Falls

Namibia: namib desert, large animals, skeleton coast. possible adventurez: dune boarding, leopard feeding

Swaziland: like Lesotho but with infrastructure and better crafts! possible adventurez: seeing the "virgin parade" where a bunch of jailbait parade around naked, so men can decide which one they want.

Things I Fantasize About

1. Double ply toilet paper

2. Cheese (duh)

3. Mexican food/ Thai food

4. Hot showers

5. Fishies (a.k.a. goldfish crackers)

6. Nerds

7. Meeting a nice boy that likes me for me, and doesn't see me as either a freak show or a free ticket to America

8. Electricity

Things That Make Me Happy

1. Waking up next to Victoria, singing the good morning song, and relaying our dreams

2. Kittens (sometimes)

3. Lunch bar dreams

4. Cheese (duh)

5. Mail

6. Scottish Leader Whiskey

7. The prospect of Namibia

8. Having a conversation with a stranger that doesn't end in a request of some sort

9. Hot water bottles

10. Dance parties

11. Glitter (especially when in conjunction with 10.)

12. How excited my student sometimes get when I enter the classroom

13. Nanotechnology (So Cool)

14. Crossword puzzles

15. Jam (esp. strawberry and raspberry, lately)

16. Snuggling with Vic's pregnancy pillow (somewhat unfortunately named Bryan Adams)

Things That Make Me Sad

1. My dropout rate is up to 7

2. Accidentally looking down into my pit latrine

3. Rats that eat my underwear

4. Running out of batteries

5. incomprehension

6. The number of bestiality-related questions I got during an impromptu sex ed class session

7. The number of ribs I'm able to count on all the domestic animals

8. That many Basotho believe that if you wear gum boots (galoshes) during sex, you won't get HIV

9. You know what would make this better? cheese.

10. How relative bathing has become (relative to what? i'm not sure)

11. Rats that sneak under my door, confound my cats and eat my tomatoes

Trends I May or May Not Have Inspired

1. Holding your hands as if you were wearing mittens while dancing

2. Beanies with brims

3. the internet

4. a love of veronica mars (of the show, not for her because she herself is a selfish paranoid bitch who uses people)

5. lists

6. pie

7.using old airline whiskey bottles for salt/pepper shakers

8. spelunking

9. speaking spanish

10. burning man SOUTH AFRICA!!! woo!!

p.s. comments are always appreciated

Dancing babies! trad dress doing the traditional shoulder poppy dance

even blind sheperds deserve to learn!

i think it's really made of skittles

i found these pieces of wood that fit on my fingers, so i made finger puppets. victoria thought i should make an angry face for the camera, so she insulted me. my apparent response was bafflement...

CRISIS!! NOOOOO... south africa is falling apart, no potatoes...

I pass this on my way to school, this building was going to be a hotel built by some german guy, but before it ever opened the german was killed and the structure burnt down... ho, hum.

16 may

i thought when they cut its neck, the blood would gush, like in the movies. instead, even though its head was half off, it came out in a single arced stream, like a drinking fountain, actually. the pig kept squealing and grunting even when there was nothing left to grunt from/with. when its head was off, laying in the grass, the body kept moving. it reminded me of a cat luxuriating in the sun, stretching its limbs out, reaching, or like a drugged mental patient fighting off its handlers in slow motion. or like the death throes of a pig with its head cut off. whatever. it kept moving for a whole nother minute or two with no head. it felt like 10 minutes though. i could see the trachea still opening and closing in the neck stump. i decided it was telling me its last words, which were that i should eat more mangoes so i can feed the delicious pits/skins to its children. i tried to tell it that there are no more mangoes because it's winter time, but the pig wouldn't listen to reason. headless pigs can be like that.

then they cut out its balls. there something about it they burst/get cut while the pig is being butchered than the whole animal isn't good to eat anymore. then they put its body in a big tub and dumped boiling water on it, then pulled out its hair/scraped it off with rocks. the pig's head was just lying there in the grass, looking like a halloween mask. my gut instinct to poke things with sticks kicked in, and i really wanted to prod the head. the men were all busy around there though and i didn't want to get in the way, so i refrained. ok so writing that made me regret my lack of action, so i just went back and nudged it with my toe. the nose is all squishy, adn its cheek feels like when i found my puppy and petted it, thinking it was asleep but it was really dead. a pig's neck is incredibly thick, almost thicker than its stomach. and its brains were kind of spilling out the back of its skull. i looked for the spine amidst all the bloody flesh, but i couldn't see it.

After scraping off most the hair with rocks, they busted out a package of lady bics. it was funny to see four old men meticulously shaving a giant headless pig with little pink and purple plastic razors.

The vegans/vegetarians are probably grossed out by me right now, and some meat eaters, too, but i had to watch. turning away doesn't make the thing not happen, it just means i'll know less about what actually went on. if i was an imaginative person i'd be fine with that, because i could fill in the gaps myself, but i'm not all that imaginative, really. i need facts and memories to fill in the blank spaces. and how can i learn new things,anyway, without poking them with sticks/my toe? i think meat eaters that won't participate, even passively, in killing an animal are trying to avoid responsibility for what goes on before the meat reaches their plate. i'm not really the type to flinch, anyway. i remember when i was in elementary school i wanted to be either a horse trainer, a teacher, or a neuroscientist, and my 5th grade teacher told me she could see me as a brain surgeon, and i was like, hey thanks! and then she continued "...yeah, i bet you could cut open someone's head without even flinching". i was sort of taken aback, i remember, because adults aren't usually that blunt with kids. (Also, for the record, that teacher was a petty bitch who didn't like me because i critisized her teaching methods). But hey, maybe she's right.

The hairless pig (did you know boy pigs have nipples, just like boy humans? i didn't, though it makes sense) is now going to ride with me to Maseru, where it'll be butchered. i'm kind of sad they aren't doing it here, because then i could learn how an animal is gutted. The pig's eventual destination is Johannesburg, where it, along with a sheep, some chickens, and a few buckets of joala (sorghum based moonshine) will cater the party for my m'e's youngest daughter's college graduation. (her youngest child (out of 8 total) is two years younger than the oldest grandchild, btw)

p.s. i'm eating pumpkin seeds right now and they're SO GOOD. mom i love you.

Mid-May

It seems like i've entered a new trend. When i injure myself i'll injure the corresponding body part on my other side within a few days. At first i cut up my thumb while chopping vegetables, then the next day my right thumb split open, entirely unreasonably. i didnt cut it or anything! ugh. so since band aids suck i had to wrap both thumbs first in band aids then in scotch tape. with the lack of opposable digits i was forced back an evolutionary step, and looked like a retard for a week or so. then a few days ago i fell and scraped the crap out of my knee, and ripped my tights, and today on teh way to work i fell again and scraped my other knee. at least i'm not a catholic, or i'd have a hard time praying in this state.

in other news, i'm now the proud owner of 7 pairs of crotchless panties. a pervert has entered my household and i can't seem to get rid of it. I have a mouse (or rat) the size of a small warthog with very refined tastes in which pieces/parts of my clothing it likes to eat. I've relocated both Vroomba (momma cat) and Parkinsons (or parker, the kitten) into my house at night, and the dumb things don't even wake up when the warthog stomps through the room, knocking stuff over and chewing into my tupperware. totally useless. and i leave for 5 days on friday, and i'm afraid it'll consolidate its ownership of my home even more while i'm gone.

Oh! and i suppose i can tell you all how i'm actually helping around here, sometimes. A week or so ago there was a "children's health day" a couple hours away from wher i live, put on by the unfortunately named ngo of notre dame alums: Touching Tiny Lives. 8 peace corps volunteers were there to help out. it was a bit of a nightmare, but ended up ok. there was a huge turn out, and the nurses from the hospital were 3 hours late, so the bo-me (women) were about to riot. the plan was to screen teh 0-5 yr olds for malnutrition while their mothers were being counseled/tested for HIV. what ended up happening was 3 of us went outside to do the screening there because HIVness was taking forever. so vic, klein, and i were little bubbles with our scales and MUAC strips inside of a crazy mob of pushing yelling, non english speaking women and babies. It looked worse than it was. I just let the bo-me fight it out and took whatever medical record book was closest, and then found the corresponding child. I was the lucky one with the lbs scale, so i had to convert each weight into kg in my head. my measurements were a bit general... 3 other pcvs were on crowd control and i'm really glad i wasn't them. i'll take a screaming baby over masses of incomprehending impatient old ladies any day. About 300 m'e and kids came and i think i screened between 70-100 yound ones, and only had to refer 15-20 of them to ttl for malnutrition. that's a pretty good ratio. i have no idea what teh HIV+ stats were because they went to get tested after they saw me. i'm kind of glad i don't know because i have a feeling it's a depressing statistic. anyone under 5 years old with HIV is incredibly sad. it just seems so doomed.

as requested, here are my plans for the near future:

2 more weeks of school, then 1 1/2 of exams, (i've gotten depressingly little done this quarter) then i'm migrating down to maseru for the winter around 13th June. I'll have regular internet from mid june to mid july, and also will be unable to receive mail sent to my thaba tseka address. the 3rd week of june and 1st of july i will be teaching science workshops for teh teachers college. the week between those i will be gallavanting somewhere. then the 2nd/3rd weeks of july will be NAMIBIA! woo! then i'll be back in the mountains around my birthday (30th july for those of you interested in sending me presents), and school starts up again around 6 august.

ways in which i've Made a Difference this week:

1. i taught one class the word 'farting' (it was necessary, they were calling it 'quinching' which is totally lame) and another class the verb 'to suck' (in the "man that sucks" context, rather than "science doesn't suck" or "i taunted the children by sucking on a lollipop and not sharing")

2. i finally convinced my students (at least to just agree with me) that ALL snakes have backbones, even though you can wrap them around your finger.