I've been silent on my end with this medium for the past month. The thing is is I'm heading out and things are hard to express in this time.

I left Mingechevir almost 2 weeks ago and it was painful. That was my community and now... it's not. Mingechevir is a place that I will hold dear in its absurdity and kindness. Of course, there were moments I holed up to cope with being there, but, overall, that was my place. Mingechevir was my home and I am truly fortunate to have been able to experience the people and times I did there. I didn't expect as much emotion would occur on my morning of leaving. I not only said goodbye to my community, I also said goodbye to my 6s. We ended aptly with a sleepover and a mass departure.

My sitemates are now all out of country (AZ6-wise) and I'm the lone Ming6. And I'm pretty confident that I'm basically done with the blog because I'll be with you all very shortly. I'm out of words for this medium.

Thanks for sticking with me these past 27 months. It's been... well, it's been.

As you might know, I've been involved with Azerbaijani softball since the first season I was actually a volunteer. I've written about it a few times and I hope I've conveyed how much this project has meant to me. I absolutely love softball and thoroughly enjoy the time I get to spend with the kids I get to through it. I've seen this project through 4 seasons (Spring and Fall) and, sadly, this season was my last.

This season's end was completed with a national softball tournament in Bilasuvar and one last scrimmage back in Mingechevir.

Unfortunately I was unable to attend the first day of the Bilasuvar tournament, but I was able to make it for the evening's PCV game, the sleepover at the Olympic Complex, and the second day's games. Mingechevir is a very strong team and has yet to lose in a tournament. There are many reasons for their strength... they know the rules, we have quite a few people that have been on the team since my first season and, well, they're older than a couple of the other teams. I was met with the news that they did not lose in the day's games and they also did not lose the second day's ones though the championship game against Gence was quite tense and had our team nervous. Champions since the inception. Glad it wasn't in my years that that proverbial ball was dropped...

We returned to Mingechevir and organized a final scrimmage since me and Laura are out of Mingechevir soon. Seeing the team organized for probably the last time was incredible. I met a lot of these guys 2 years ago when I was a brand new volunteer adjusting to all that is here and, now, I'm saying goodbye. I've seen them grow and they've seen me do the same. We've laughed, played, learned, etc. I think I've somewhat expressed to many of you my frustrations here being a woman and dealing with men, but these guys... they've always been the source I go to when I'm looking for an Azeri male that does not fit within those frustrations.

I miss it already.

Things are getting crazy here as I'm about to leave. There's been a progression of things and events that I don't think would fly so easily in other places occurring here. The latest is that there are some new visa regulations that began with visas only being issued for a week period at the airport; the next was that visas were no longer available at the airport. It's getting a little wild as this has actually affected people I know that had people visiting and were trying to get out/in.

The thing is, of course, Azerbaijan is completely within their rights to do what they please with people coming in and out of their country, but it's annoying and unnecessarily difficult when there was no word from the Azeri government before these new regulations actually took place. Great guys, really. I live in Azerbaijan and we didn't really know about this. There were a few rumblings of the possibility with the impending parliamentary elections, but there was no concrete confirmation until the day of. We didn't get any type of notice from the embassy (because the Ministry of Foreign Affairs didn't give them notice) until it was too late.

Thinking of how I'm in the supposed perfect spot to hear about all this and didn't, it makes me feel bad for Richard Norman who came here to vacation and went through some really unfortunate things. It might just be me, but I'm getting a kick out of the comments at the end just because... well, it's so Azerbaijan.

I'm pretty sure I've talked about this blog before. It's written by Arzu Geybulla, who is an Azeri blogger. Her ideas and interests are along the same lines as mine, but I think a lot more interesting because she is an Azeri in Azerbaijan opposed to me being a foreigner in Azerbaijan. You don't come across as many outspoken and progressive people here, especially living in the regions. So, this blog really makes me feel like I live a world away from Baku at times (which is worlds away from the Western world). If you are curious about social freedoms and lack thereof in this area, you should most definitely check her out.

And, while you're there, read this. That one has been my fav as of late.

With all these lasts of things, I think I'm continuing the gradual 'goodbye' to this blog. It's funny to look back on when I first got here. One big reason it's a bit weird to look at my blog is because a new group, AZ8, has just arrived and are beginning their adventures in Azerbaijan while mine is completely winding down. It's not a bad thing, but it sure makes me realize how long 2 years have and haven't been. And, furthermore, it's making me understand how much I've grown (maybe) and changed (definitely).

Anyways, you might've noticed blogs are becoming less and less frequent. The novelties of life for me here have faded a bit, I don't write about the possible touchy subjects I'm fascinated with and, you know, it's no longer really my turn. AZ7 has stories and AZ8 will. I'm like the old lady in the rocking chair reminiscing about the old days or just talking out to no one in particular. I'm okay in that role, but I'm officially calling this as my route to the way out.

Something phenomenal about living in Azerbaijan is that it takes creativity. A lot of times you have to think out of the box to get something very simple done. This thinking paves the way for new approaches and, sometimes, creating new ideas and challenges to motivate oneself.

Earlier this year, Baku friends decided an amazing way for them to entertain themselves and further explore Baku and Azerbaijan was to buy a 1980 Lada, Colonel Mustard. And, I've been lucky to reap some of the benefits of their collective fine decision. This car has provided me with so many good times and memories thusfar, but the best just occurred: the Lada and visitors came to Ming.

The first challenge the 'comrades' created was to test out my 'street cred' and find me without my aid. They didn't even tell me they had arrived in town. After about 20 minutes and talking to around 7 people, there was a knock at my door. Friends had arrived and I fully realized too many people I know nothing of know where I live. But, hey, looks like I passed that test with flying colors.

Our next mission was to find Lenin in Yevlax. There's a halved Lenin statue from the Soviet days around my areaish. I was able to navigate decently in the right directions and we had to ask a few people, but we found him... sitting in dumpyard of sorts with decrepit vans and a bunch of goats. My favorite part of this venture was asking the first random man about Lenin's whereabouts. We didn't quite know how to ask about him, so my friend explained that the Lenin statue didn't have a head on his body. The man was confused.

Riding around and traveling in a beaten up (down-to-earth) Lada older than me attracts a good amount of attention. People watch and stare in disbelief as foreigners are driving about in an almost 30 year old car. Azeris tend to think foreigners/Americans are rich and the visual of us in this particular car is something completely astounding and shattering. It provides Azeris with something else to look at and us with hours of entertainment. I think that's called a win-win.

Since COS Conference, I've been in a limbo state of sorts. I can't start any bigger projects that need more than a couple months. I can't plan things for a timeframe past too long, either. It's the homestretch, kids. I'm officially in my last 90 days of Peace Corps.

This period of time is a lot like last year at this time. I'm continuing work with my FLEX girls (hoping that my favorite student will be in America next year), waiting for softball to start and figuring out what my schedule will be once school starts back up and kids are around again. It's still hot and I'm over summer. Yep, just like last year. Except, well, that whole being in the last 90 days part. So, along with the seemingly routine, add in traveling to visit places and people for the first/last time, figuring out the COS game plan, packing and giving away my life of 2 years... it seems like a lot.

Fulbright researchers and teachers have been a vital part of my time in Azerbaijan. I've now met members of 3 groups in country and have had to say goodbyes to 2. Last year I got a taste of saying goodbye to my Fulbrights, Kim and Irina, but this year's goodbye was a little different.

This past year's group, I met Evan pretty much right upon his arrival into country. Kim introduced me and I was then passed over to him. It was an awkward exchange on a rooftop in Old City. From that time onward, I became his Peace Corps Volunteer and he my Fulbright. . Over the past year he became a constant figure in my life and, with that, a good friend. We spent loads of time, shared fantastic food, celebrated Novruz, paddle-boated against a current going nowhere, traveled to Georgia and played some fun Ultimate together.

At the beginning of August, it was time to say goodbye to my Fulbright. At his final Ultimate game, a homemade Slip N' Slide was made and a BBQ out of a Lada was had. It was an amazingly fun day and Evan scored the final point of the game in a, perhaps, overly dramatic fashion. After the game, the (other) fun began. The day continued on till the next events (with a brief pause of naps and rest for some and work for me) which ended up in karaoke until 4am without him. It was a truly memorable day in Baku.

The rest of the non-organized goodbyes was productive in the making of the Legendary Lada video, relaxing and general hanging out, and final in that we went to the Korean restaurant one last time together before having to part ways.

It's always weird to say goodbye, but it's not, too. I've kept in pretty good contact with my old Fulbrights and I know I'll see my new old Fulbright soon back in the US.

Goodbyes are easy when you know they're not.

This month, my Peace Corps group, AZ6, had our COS (Close of Service) Conference. This is the final event of Peace Corps service until the days we leave. We returned to the place where we started, the Aquapark. I remember the first night after we all eventually settled in to our buses on the way to the Aquapark. It was late, we were new, and all I saw was a dark nothing outside the window with brief glimpses of fire and oil rigs. Actually being back at Aquapark didn't hit a sentimental nerve, but being back with the people I started this whole stint with was nice.

My group is a truly special one. Of course, I'm bias, but I do believe, overall, we fit well together. I think we have all have a decent respect for each other and appreciate each individual's need. We enjoyed our time together, but we also knew how to do our own thing. We've come quite a distance from where we started and we've probably all changed to some extent - some more, some less. No matter what has transpired the past 2 years, this group has been my group and when I think about my service, I will think of these people.

I've probably said goodbye to a lot of my group without completely knowing it. We all leave at different times beginning early November. But, for the ones I haven't and won't, it will be quite neat to remeet them outside of Peace Corps.

When I was pleading for money in March for my 2nd year Environmental Project, it was mainly for what has just been completed in Mingechevir today... a mural.

I have had this in mind since I came to Azerbaijan to be a Peace Corps Volunteer. I didn't quite know what was going to be done, but I knew I wanted to bring a mural to wherever I was placed. And, now, it's done. There was a scare the morning of the first session because of an untimely rain (morning session was cancelled), but the rain eventually decided to stay in the looming clouds over our heads and give us some relatively cooler work days. This project has been one of my main focuses for the past year and now there's finally tangible evidence of the work. Awesome. This past week, there were 3 days completely dedicated to the mural and the completion of this project as a whole. My Azeri counterparts were all peaches and did the jobs they were supposed to do. Our artist was fantastic and accommodating, the Ministry connection's faith never failed and connected us to the right people in the Excom and media and Lale was exactly who she's always been to me - a patient, kind and supportive friend. I'm incredibly proud of this project and am glad to have been able to complete it. Now, on to the paperwork...

Below, you can see the progression of the sessions. I hope you enjoy. Thank you all so much, again, for your donations. Because of your funding, Mingechevir has its first legit public art.

I've been back in Azerbaijan for about 2 weeks. While all is well and I'm settling back in, you might've noticed that I haven't said a word on here. It's not because I don't have things to say, but it's because I don't write when I feel like I'm more complainy than reasonable. Once again, the Azerheat has hit... hard, and I'm readjusting to what I've apparently forgotten about from last summer.

There are some noticeable and differing bits from vacation and life in Azerbaijan. Just some small things that I was surprised I had let go of in my time here.Metered taxis in Turkey. Instead of thinking the normal idea of taxis being a relative sum with the distance driven, I was ready to haggle and predetermine a rate. Oops.Travel Expenses. Traveling across a country costs more than $10-12. Attention. I got less attention walking around Istanbul like a pirate than I do in Azerbaijan being me. People on the street thought we were actors and let us be.Old Friends. Seeing my old friends' reactions to my reactions really drove home what a different lifestyle I'm used to... and comfortable in.World Cup. I was in England for the majority of the World Cup. It was intense being an American in England throughout, but it was also very energizing.Country Roads. In Liverpool and Newcastle, I was lucky enough to stay with friends who had cars. This means I got to ride through green country sides and along water. It was glorious and reminded me of North Carolina.The Gaslight Anthem. I went to a concert in Glasgow. I saw a band I started listening to pretty intensely since I got to Azerbaijan. This was a perfect show and so... American. Felt like the old days. This also made me realize that I've lived in AZ since 2008.Stores and Shopping. I don't know how much of this I really enjoyed. I did have a pretty good-sized panic attack at Hither's amusement. But, I can't lie, going into a Whole Foods might've been a small highlight of the trip. And, I did enjoy buying new shoes and such.Restaurants. I ate out a lot, and I got used to it. I enjoyed eating Thai whenever I pleased. But, slightly surprisingly, I missed cooking a lot. So much so that when I got back, I cooked and baked pretty much non-stop for a week straight.Essentials. I most assuredly brought back what I thought necessary ranging from personal items to food. Coffee, peanut butter and chocolate did make it back... kind of. The chocolate had a rough time withstanding the heat.This vacation might've been a good idea for me to take at the near-end of my Peace Corps service. I don't feel like re-adjusting to American life will be as difficult now that I had a crash course with a month in the UK. Better yet, I now know what I'll eventually miss about this crazy land.

Being in the UK really hasn't done much for me blogwise. It's a lot more difficult to make comparisons with Azerbaijan and the UK than it was Azerbaijan and Turkey. I can say, though, being completely honest, that I sort of miss Azerbaijan. Who would've thought?

Well, that was the case. Until I finally made it into legit English countryside where things are once again quaint and simple. Better yet, it's minus the harrassment.

I guess, though, at the end of the day, my life is in Azerbaijan and I do find myself wanting to be back there in my routine with my people. The UK has been great for catching up with some people from my America life, but I think I have a good few back "home" that I need to catch up with, as well.

Remember when I talked about my Ultimate family? And that I managed to finagle using professional work leave days to play in a tournament in Georgia? Apparently my love for this sport keeps crossing new lines. I might've planned part of my vacation to play. And, by might've, I did.

In Istanbul, I played with Turk Kasi and it was incredible. The Turks are hardcore, to say the least. Please note in the picture we're all dripping wet. That's because we played for about an hour in a torrential downpour. And, then, continued to play in the aftermath. Also, that was after an hour of normal play. With no subs. Or real breaks. It was probably, though, one of the most memorable Ultimate games I've taken part in and would love to play with them again. Something about trudging through mudpuddles and barely being able to see made it an incredible and amusing time.

I hopped in Ankara Carrie’s car, put on my seat belt and we drove to a strip mall. The car was parked in a parking lot and we sat outside at one of those fancier restaurants that on the outsides of every mall in America. I looked across the parking lot and saw a Burger King and, just a bit further, was a Starbucks. There were only legitimate grocery stores in sight, no bazaars or produce stands. Welcome to reverse culture shock.

At first, the sight of a Best Buy next to a McDonalds was something I was amazed at. The same with the paved roads and traditional road stops. I’m not saying, by any means, that I’m not relishing the paved roads, but being in Ankara hit a bit too close to “America home.” It was what once was familiar. And I’m no longer really that person I was back then; wholly, at least. I once again kind of felt those desolate feelings as I did in Wilmington when surrounded by all those then universal and faceless brands and stores and missed the quaintness of running downstairs to go to the bazaar in Mingechevir. Funny, huh? I kind of love both worlds, but, obviously, for entirely different reasons. Grass is always greener and all that jazz?

I don’t think I’ll object being back in the world that I know, but it does make me question the idea of what is and isn’t developed. Perhaps a little less development wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Thank goodness for Farmer Markets and what remains of Mom and Pop shops, ey?

Being away from Azerbaijan for over a week now, I’m able to process things I’m not able to in my life in Azerbaijan. This processing has brought me to reflect on Azerbaijan as a whole, their identity.

In conversations I’ve had with Turkish people and other expats, I find myself seeing and conveying Azerbaijan as a terribly confused state. I’m a bit more sympathetic away from there than I am while living it; that’s for sure.

Think about it. Here’s Azerbaijan. A tiny country off the coast of the Caspian Sea sandwiched between Russia, Iran, and 2 Christian countries, Armenia and Georgia. There are so many culturally different things about Azerbaijan because of location alone. Add on top of that being post-Soviet and Islamic, engaged in a seemingly never-ending war, and being a country rich in oil and natural gasses… there’s got to be some confusion.

Azerbaijan wants to be more like Turkey, but is still influenced by Soviet mentality and a rising Islamic movement. There are contradictions running rampant.

With all those factors plus everything else going on, I would be confused, too.

Traveling in Turkey has been a breeze. Living and serving in Azerbaijan has given me the language skills to get around and be decently understood by many Turkish people. There are, of course, some things that don’t cross over, but a lot of what I need has worked out well enough. Azerbaijani is actually quite idiomatic and that type of language doesn’t cross over. When I don’t understand something, I end up speaking Azeri and say (literally translated) ‘it falls off my head’. Also, on top of that, while in Azerbaijan, I’ve picked up some random Russian, which obviously doesn’t work out for me here. What I’ve discovered, though, is that when I speak Azeri to people here, they’re a bit shocked I’m speaking anything resembling Turkish and are happy to be a little more patient to get through a conversation. I’ve had some lovely chats throughout Turkey and have gotten more free tea and other random little presents because of it. Thanks, Azerbaijan.

As I mentioned here, I watched a Turkish film. It's called Baska Dilde Ask or Love in Another Language.

This movie is apparently making waves in Turkey at the moment for acknowledging the issue of disabled and impaired people. The male lead in the movie is deaf and begins a relationship with a girl who isn’t. The film follows the difficulties of the blossoming affair. There was no real exciting story, but it did bring up a great amount of talking points and I am fortunate I was able to watch it with a Turkish woman. And, she’s a Turkish woman who volunteers with disabled people and various other projects to boot.

After talking with my Turkish host, I was able to find out that the way the Turkish treat disabled people is very similar to Azerbaijan. Disabled people aren’t really focused on; they’re ignored and pushed aside. The idea of a “normal” person dating one who “isn’t” is something that Turkey (and many other places) hasn’t confronted.

Though the movie wasn’t epic by any means, I can see how it is groundbreaking.

In Ankara, I couchsurfed. I have never couchsurfed before, but I have hosted a few couchsurfers in Azerbaijan. I reckoned I would give it a go and see how it went. I’m glad to say my first experience was a great one. I stayed with a teacher at the International School in Ankara, Carrie. Getting to talk with her was most assuredly a highlight in and of itself, but the best part of the couchsurfing experience with her was that I was invited to her planned Girls Night with 3 fellow teachers. My last night in Ankara, we went to one of her Turkish teacher friend’s house to have wine, dinner, and watch a Turkish chick-flick (that wasn’t as chick-flicky as I thought it might be). I got to talk about Azerbaijan, learn more about Turkey, and figure out similarities and differences between where I live and where I currently am. I was also able to enjoy the company of good and interesting people, which is lovely. We had an incredible dinner of Turkish mezzas, spinach artichoke dip, and lovely conversation. The movie being good was completely just to boot. I know our host that evening is quite well-traveled and has worked with foreigners for several years and it showed in her house. She exuded the best parts of both worlds. The Turkish hospitality was there and genuine, but she also had pictures around her house of her and her husband being silly and smiling. After being post-Soviet for so long, seeing picture of happy people throws me off, but in a good way. Ankara for the win.

Transportation through Turkey is remarkable and I’m getting used to this way of travel. I’ve slowly become acclimated to the comforts that have been returned to me, but, it still catches me off-guard.

The first longer bus I grabbed was from Hopa to Erzurum. It was a smaller bus, but they served my traveling companion, Jessica, and I cold drinks. We were in shock. This was the first luxury thrown at us in this foreign land. Surprisingly, to me, though, it got better. From Erzurum we caught a bus to Kayseri to eventually go to Goreme. It was on this bus we were also served hot beverages, including coffee. I can barely drink anything on transportation in Azerbaijan, much less an open cup of coffee. The next ride from Kayseri to Goreme brought the new addition of snacks! It seemed as if each leg of my journey was bringing me a bit more West. After holing up in Goreme for a couple days, I got on a bus and headed to Ankara. This bus brought something I couldn’t even imagine… a personal touchscreen monitor. This monitor is on the backs of every seat and you have the selection of a variety of music, movies, TV channels and games. I’m currently on my last bus for Turkey and it’s to Istanbul. I have all of the above amenities plus wireless internet.

According to my new Ankara friend, Carrie, there are cheap flights throughout Turkey, so buses are in competition for customers. So, to compete properly, buses come equipped with a steward, beverages, snacks, entertainment, and, on some, wireless internet. Even with all these comforts, I’m not going to lie, my favorite part has been the paved and smooth roads throughout the entirety of the country. The simple things…

It’s a good thing I land-routed through this trip before I head out to the UK. I shouldn’t be as awkward as I might have been otherwise.

By nature of the Peace Corps, I should be a bit less political in my public forum. I don't think that this necessarily extends to me on vacation, but I really could not comment on the Gaza flotilla situation any more successful than my friends at Politics By Other Means. These guys have lived in Turkey and have a respectable knowledge of this area and the happenings that occur.

I was in Georgia for this and Turkey for all of this... let's see what else awaits.

I'm sure there's more than just this, but it's what I've found to be a source of much fascination for myself.

For the past few days, I've been riding through Eastern Turkey making my way towards Istanbul. Eastern Turkey, at the beginning, rubbed me the wrong way in that it was so similar to things I know in Azerbaijan. Things were easier as I could communicate successfully with people, but I found the mentality and actions were a lot of the same. But, once on the road, I noticed something I can not foresee for Azerbaijan... solar panels.

Azerbaijan so badly wants to be Turkey, it seems. And, I think, if they were able to take note of this, the dependence on gas would be a lot less. I could definitely see some problems for those dark days and less lighted months of winter, but it would be nice to have a shower more than once or twice a week for the average PCV.

Annual Leave is a popular thing in the Peace Corps. Well, at least Peace Corps Azerbaijan. It always seems like someone is traveling about or going back to the States.

I've only dipped into my Annual Leave days twice since I've been here and they've both been for Georgia. If you keep up with me by any means, you know I love Georgia. But, now, I'm about to be off to other lands and am taking a massive chunk of my annual leave days - 30 of them.

So, here I am. Taking a break from all that is Azerbaijan, reconnecting with some old friends, seeing new places and, hopefully, returning rejuvenated to tackle the last parts of my final 2 major projects in the Peace Corps - one of which you can donate to here.

I'll be back eventually and will still have 8 more vacation days I can use for one last trip to Georgia.

For the past 2 months, Mingechevir has been practicing softball twice a week for the Spring season. Practice has been great - very high attendance rates, lots of veteran players, and quite fun. A few weeks ago was supposed to be our first tournament in Mingechevir, but we were sadly rained out. So, this past weekend was the first Western Tournament in Gence.

Remarkably, and a feat in and of itself, the entire team showed up at the meeting spot at the designated time and we left ahead of schedule. I was quite proud. Unfortunately, some hot heads early in the tournament day made some of my pride fade away.

We played 3 games, all 40 minutes long. Our first game was against Sheki. We had an early lead, but our team got a bit too cocky and sloppy late in the game. We finished up 12-11 Mingechevir. The second game was against a new team, Tovuz. Tovuz had already won their first game against Gence at 7-6 and that was our fate, as well. This game, though, is quite notable because each team had an air of bad sportsmanship stinking up the field. It was the most intense game and, for me, the most frustrating. In a way, I wish both teams could've lost this one. The final game was the opposite of everything the 2nd game was and spirits were high as we went against our 'rivals,' Gence. After threatening to pull people out of the game, the team was able to push aside their attitudes and start supporting other teams. We were able to win the final game 13-7. Currently, we're tied for first with Tovuz with a 2-1 record.

I've been working with this project for 3 seasons now and it's still one of the most fun things I get to do. Even though this round had problems that we had never had before, we do have a fantastic group of kids. Sometimes, though, as much as I hate to admit it, this team needs to learn how to lose... something they've really never had to do before. Hopefully, they'll learn from this first tournament for the next 2 (of which I'll sadly be absent from) and come out on top the right way.

Once upon a time, I took things seriously. Well, serious enough. I don't know if that's the case so much anymore. There's a lot that goes on here that I can't take serious. Like this, for example. I read about it awhile ago and forwarded it on to a friend. You can read what his thoughts are about it here.

I don't use this medium as a place to really talk about this country per se, but more of me in this country. I do this because I would definitely have an issue being PC (in PC, haha). And, that's an issue because, as PCVs, we're supposed to take the middle way in a lot of instances. Anyone who's really ever talked to me knows this is just not my style. So, I save my opinions, for the most part, for Skype dates, emails, and any other means of communication.

I bring all this up because today was the culmination of what I find absurd here. Today was Flower Holiday. I understand the need to celebrate random things. Fremont has the Daffodil Festival, Wilmington has Azalea Fest, and, heck, Mt. Olive has a Pickle Festival! I find all these quite entertaining. I think I understand these a bit more because they're quirky, particular, and little small town/regional things and not National Holidays. To be fair, though, Flower Holiday was something added onto the celebration of Heydar Aliyev's birthday and was not originally just some random thing to celebrate. But, still, there's something up with that original celebration.

I provided a rather lengthy article, so if you're not into reading all that, read this (even with the nonsensical English, you get the gist):It is necessary to page chronicle of life of this nice person, read, study and propagandize reading, studying it, because the life of Heydar Aliyev is a history of Azerbaijan we lived through.

...He left us at his 81st year - at the top of wisdom, leadership. However, he had become apart only partially. Heydar Aliyev will always stay with us with his ideas, with the works, which he couldn't finish, big plans, desires in 10, 20, 50, 100-year future of Azerbaijan. Heydar Aliyev was raised to this top by nation, its trust and belief. The highest top he was able to conquer was the soul of the nation. From that top along with yesterday and today of Azerbaijan, the future, prosperous tomorrow can be seen obviously. Let us be able to move in the light of that top thinking about tomorrow of Azerbaijan...This was from one of the main (and only) news sources. It's legit press. Nationalistic and not too free press. Here's a link to an Azeri blogger that has some of the same thoughts as me.

Don't get me wrong, I like getting flowers as much as the next girl and I received a lovely bunch of them today (seen above) from one of my favorite students, Nigar. But, this is the snowball of the ridiculousness that is life here sometimes. One absurd thing leads to another... to another.

Oh, Azerbaijan...

Here's the thing: I would not be able to survive being part of the Peace Corps without a social network outside of Peace Corps. Don't get me wrong, I like my Peace Corps people quite fine, but it's a small world and I do enjoy being able to step out of the Peace Corps realm every once and awhile. In this regard, I am incredibly fortunate because I have the best group of friends in Baku that a girl could ask for - the Baku Evil Eyes.

The Evil Eyes are an International group of awesomeness who get together every week to play Ultimate Frisbee. I love it. We're a close-knit group that wake up early to play on the weekends and get together and enjoy each other's company afterwards. There might even be theme parties involved. I cannot express how incredible it is to be part of this group of people. I started playing with them last July and came to plan my Baku trips around game day. It's been a staple of my time in Azerbaijan and I hold it quite dear. I will never not think of this group of people when I reflect on my times in Azerbaijan. The Evil Eyes are one of my homes and I consider them an integral part of my Azerbaijan family.

This past trip to Georgia, too, was planned around Ultimate. A couple months ago, Kent brought up Baku Evil Eyes vs (the impressive, hospitable and brilliant) Tbilisi Flying Khatchapuris and I jumped at the chance to go. I was able to arrange Writing Olympics judging for the Monday after our 2-day tournament in Tbilisi, so all my plans worked out beautifully. We all hopped on that aforementioned almost midnight train to Georgia (minus Dorje who had to fly) as an official touring team. We arrived into Tbilisi around 1:30 with a game slated for 4. So, we ate, rested, and headed out.

From our Captain, Steve: "So, to business. How did we actually get on the field of play? Well we played as an Evil Eyes Team five times in total, against a variety of different [Flying Khatchapuris] Teams. The games were to 5 and we won 4 and lost 1. After that we mixed the teams up and played for fun."

So, we did what we had to do... Go in, demolish, and then have fun.

I love being an Evil Eye.

Sama (front) with Sabina (who I'm hoping gets FLEX next year) at Novruz.

I mentioned FLEX a long long time ago here. It's been since then we've been waiting on the results from all those kids who applied study in America. We got word not too too long ago and, of the 42 that made it through, I'm happy to report that one of my students, Sama, will be going to America before I even have the opportunity to return. I am so excited that she'll have this chance to learn more about herself in an unfamiliar world.

Sama is one of those girls that's just special. You meet her and she's worlds apart from the majority of her Azeri counterparts. She's worked with Peace Corps Volunteers for years and her overall attitude beams of little parts we've all instilled in her. She's the first to speak in conversation clubs, plays softball with the best of them (and can hit from both the left and right), is a GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) alumna and is game for not necessarily meeting gender roles and norms here. I'm lucky to have gotten to work with her so intensely during this whole FLEX process and she is the product of a wonderful family, dedication, and many many Peace Corps Volunteers. She's a Ming success story, to be sure.

Sometimes, there are people who get the opportunity to study in America, but might not be open to all that entails. I don't see that being the case with her at all. I can't wait to see her in America being what I think of as a 'normal' teenager.

Whilst in Georgia, Aaron and I had the opportunity to take the Azerbaijan National Writing Olympics Winners' essays to the International Judging to go against Armenia, Georgia and Moldova in a fight to the death... with words, ideas, and pens as swords. We are Peace Corps, afterall.

We rolled into Peace Corps Georgia's office* and met with the WO staff of Georgia and Armenia while keeping in touch via gchat with Moldova for the judging. Our late morning/early afternoon was filled with us reading the best of the best. And, I'm happy to report that Azerbaijan kind of beasted the competition. Out of 11 titles, Azerbaijan took 5! Though, one of those 11 is a bit sketch as only Moldova has a 12th form... whatevs. 2 of those 5 Azeri winners were Mingechevir to boot! All in all, it was a successful day. Congratulations to all the winners, Azerbaijan and elsewhere. Armenia, Georgia and Moldova made for great competition and I'm sad I won't be able to witness this fabulous project expand in the future.

As mentioned in an earlier blog about WO, it truly was wild to experience this project on a whole other level. This was my last WO and I think it's safe to say it's been my favorite. It might even chalk up to being my favorite project I've worked with in country. We'll see. I do try to do a lot of cool things...

*the above picture is not of PC Georgia's office. Just a place in Baku that makes me laugh every time.

It's been over a year since I've visited Georgia for the first time. I had meant to write about it way back then, but it proved quite difficult and, perhaps obviously, it never happened.

So, I hopped on a 10 o'clock train to Georgia (doesn't have that same ring to it, does it?) last week with some great friends for a week of great fun, amazing company, incredible food, and all that is good about vacations with a little work thrown in. I've returned yet again a bit confused and flustered on the seeming mass contrasts of 2 countries so close together, but, yet, so incredibly far apart.

There are many little things that eventually make up bigger ideas that separate Azerbaijan and Georgia in my mind. To me, it's a combination of the differences between an Islamic and Christian culture and the ideologies that stem from it, the mere subtleties of a tea and coffee culture, and perhaps even the feeling of a more 'in your face' freedom. This could all easily be a rose colored picture from an ignorant visitor, but I felt more respect being a visitor there than a 'citizen' here. People smile in Georgia, laugh on the streets, chase birds, eat ice cream, make public art, and mingle with the opposite sex without seemingly being betrothed to them or seen as a trollop of sorts.

There's something quite lovely about that country and I've yet to not enjoy visiting. It's totally conceivable I enjoy it so much as it's more familiar to what I know and am used to in 'normal' life. But, you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm back in Azerbaijan with my 'Georgian glow' ready to take on these rainy days of softball practice, tournaments, Environmental clean-ups, and my attempt at creating public art.

To keep you visually stimulated, here's a picture Evan took while he visited over Novruz. Don't be too deceived; I know it's pretty, but you can't see all the trash littered throughout. Donate here to help with the Environment issues here.

There's this project I've been a part of since I became a volunteer in this lovely country. It's called the Writing Olympics, or WO for short (because we in PC like acronyms).

Essentially, at the very root of the project, it's a writing competition for school and university kids all around the country. Now, as this has been something I've worked more in depth with, I've found that it's a lot more than that. It's planning Creative Writing lessons, organizing Volunteers throughout the country and encouraging participation with them and their students, more emails, planning, and budget concerns than I could've imagined. But, seriously, it's not that bad, though it is pretty capable of causing some frustration and headaches.

Last year when I joined up, I was a Point Person for the volunteer group previous to the new ones coming in. Unfortunately before I came in to Peace Corps, Russia invaded Georgia and those volunteers were forced to leave because of the threat of it all. Azerbaijan and Armenia can't hold a competition together because of, well, let's put it mildly and say 'issues'. So, last year's competition was a National one, just within Azerbaijan. And Armenia, too, held their own National event.

This year, that's no longer the case. With fresh faces involved and Aaron taking over the Point Person/Event position, I've been able to label myself with the role of 'mentor,' though this is a whole new experience for me as well. The Writing Olympics this year is back to International scales. We have Armenia, Georgia, and even Moldova involved. We're growing... and I like it. 2 weeks from now, I'll be in the land of milk and honey that is Georgia to participate in the International Judging with Aaron and some volunteers from Armenia and Georgia that I've been in correspondence with since November.

This 2nd year mentality is no joke. It's incredible being able to see projects I work closely with expand. Most of the time, Peace Corps likes to tell us we'll never know how we effect things, so it's nice to be able to witness.

It's happened. The event I surely knew was coming, but was successfully able to keep myself in denial about. My sitemate, Andrea, is currently on her plane ride back to America. Peace Corps has sent her back to America (where she was on medical hold for 2 months December - February) to resolve her injured foot.

What?! I know. Trust me, I know.

Coming to Mingechevir last last December, I barely knew Andrea and wasn't sure how and/or if we would even get along. Luckily, my fears were based on pure ignorance and turned out to not even remotely true. Andrea became a source of sanity for me. She became my go-to person. More so, she became what I would, in any world (Peace Corps or "normal"), call a genuine friend.

A big part of my Mingechevir has left, but I truly am fortunate to have had the sitemates I've had for as long as I have. It's going to be strange not finishing out my service with her and, in the short term, that aforementioned Environmental Project. All I can hope for is that she gets what she needs done to get her as fixed as possible. Well, that plus constant Skype dates.

Now that I've been at site for over a year, I'm a bit more respected within the community. Well, at least with the officials (who are the ones that really make or break you big project wise). It has made my 2nd year significantly easier, but also quite a bit busier. When we first become volunteers, I think the majority of us realize our bigger projects are held for the 2nd year because of the trust gained within the 1st year of just being bumbling, looking for volunteer work foreigners.

I've been committing my 2nd year of service to a couple bigger projects and ones that I hold close to my heart. The biggest project currently on my plate is Mingechevir's Environmental one. This idea has been months in the making. In November, Sitemate Andrea and I sat down with the idea of an Art Contest (which is currently being held citywide) promoting the environment and youth's role in it. This idea seemed like it could fit in beautifully with a mural project I'd been toying with since I arrived in this country (the winner of the Art Contest will be the basis for the city's mural). From there it grew a little bit more to include an Environmental Club (which me and Sitemate Sean will be teaching), utilization of the local newspaper to feature youth, and perhaps a couple little gardens. While we're upping the antes this year around, we're not forgetting the yearly Clean Up that past Ming volunteers began and continued.

Here's where we need you guys' help. The costs of this project is around $550. This will include all the supplies we need, majority being for the mural. We've actually gotten quite a bit of support from the community in kind wise including rooms for the club, some free labor, a wall for the mural, newspaper space, and some other things. I have tried my best to not ask for donations in the past, but if you can give a little, it will be thoroughly appreciated. And! Your donation is tax deductible... right on time, yeah?

If you'd like to donate, click here.

I have a new xanam friend. Her name is Rosa. A couple posts back, I actually introduced her. It was her birthday party I unknowingly walked into after that random ride from Baku.

Today after my club at School 13, I went back up to Rosa's (she lives in IDP housing in the school) to say hello and tutor with Little Rosa and Tural. Little Rosa forgot and didn't tell me, but Rosa xanam welcomed me in nonetheless. I hung out, ate some fruit, and chatted a bit with her, and, soon, the awkward 'I want to leave, but don't know how' time hit. Instead of being able to successfully maneuver my way out of the room, I found myself pretending to nap on the couch for a good amount of time under Rosa's instruction. Rosa was sweet, covered me up and told me that I should come very often since we both live alone. She also told me that I was now her daughter.

I eventually almost made a successful getaway (I really wanted to come home and sleep), but then I was informed I couldn't leave because she was making me dinner. So close. It's funny the silly little situations I can get into here.

Side note on this day: I've always heard how small our sites really are and how everyone talks about everyone else, especially the foreigners. I got inklings of this this past week hearing little things about Ming visitors, but today at Rosa's it fully hit me. Lankaran Aaron was here last week and I heard a bit about him from others kind of in my circle on the streets (because he's quite tall and handsome). Today Rosa and her daughter was talking about him, too! They kept asking me questions about him whilst I was laying on the couch and, yes, commented on his handsomeness.

One weekly event I look forward to is Pancake Day with my best Azeri friend, Lale.

I started cooking a little with her before she left for PST, but it was after she returned that we started doing pancakes. One night for dinner I made us breakfast and discovered Lale's affinity for the delectable treat. Since then, we've started Pancake Day. The main goal, aside from eating and getting quality time in, of this delicious day is to make a new pancake every time we get together. We've only done this for 3 weeks now, but we've done plain, chocolate chip, and apple cinnamon pancakes and I don't see us stopping anytime soon (so you can keep on sending the syrup my way :)). It's a day that we both look forward to to catch up, chat, laugh, eat, and unwind. Ah, the simple things.

This past Pancake Day was a bit more exciting, too, as our friend Nazim is back in town on a 10 day leave from the Army. It was great to see him again, though I don't think he enjoyed the pancakes as much as Lale and I do. To each their own.

I've been back and forth from Mingechevir to Baku a couple times this month for various reasons. A big milestone visit was MSC (Mid-Service Conference), a little late. My 2nd visit was a follow-up visit because of Medical things from MSC. I'm all and well, just in case you're concerned. I roll in Friday for follow up things, end up spraining my ankle Saturday (minor- no worries), doctor appointments out the wazoo Sunday and Monday, and relaxing the ankle until Thursday. The supposed to be 2 day trip ended up to be much longer. Thank goodness for friends and other lovely characters in Baku for making it quite a nice trip. This turn of events set me up for something I never could have predicted - the best Azeri day I've experienced during the entirety of my service.

Not wanting to hop on the 5 hour marshrutka (overfilled van) ride from Baku to Mingechevir, I wasted a good amount of time in the Peace Corps lounge Thursday morning. I finally motivated myself to leave the lounge after a couple hours to make the journey back. I cannot express this enough... I hate traveling in this country. Typical traveling here includes being stared at and harassed, cramped spaces, no leg room, bumpy roads that give me headaches, and overall lameness. I get to the bus station and I find my marshrutka. As soon as I put my bags in the back and make my way to the back section of the van, the driver asks if I would like to sit in the front. Usually this doesn't happen because I'm a girl and only men sit in the front (most times). I say yes because the front is loads more comfortable. Score. Since I'm a girl, a xanam (old lady) rolls up and sits in the front with me. Double score.

We eventually get on the road and the front seat is a pleasant place to be. We're all joking, laughing, and enjoying our time. We stop at a little store and the driver buys me and the xanam sunflower seeds and drinks. Amazing. We continue on our journey still comfortable. Eventually we arrive at the midway stopping point for the break and I was getting hungry, so I ask the xanam to let me out of the front seat. She begins to follow me as she knows no one else. The rest stop, of course, has no salads, so we get tea and watch some Olympic hockey on the TV while chatting away. Before we left, she had the driver stop to buy me bananas and mandarins. Azerbaijan really decided to let me have a good day. The xanam continues to talk to me telling me that she's going to a birthday party and I'm going with her. I decided that the day was working in my favor, so I just agreed.

Me and the xanam make random observations on the road and laugh about all the sights. She points out a midget and yells that he is little - I laugh hysterically. I love midget humor. We get to Mingechevir and she makes the driver drive us into town. We get off the marshrutka and we're right by my apartment and we go to School 13 to the party. I was surprised as I have never been in IDP (Internally Displaced People) housing. This family lives in a section of a school that I sometimes teach at. I go in with the xanam, eat salads, and thoroughly enjoy my random Azeri day/night. I had to leave come about 9:30 because I was exhausted from Baku. When I left, I had a gang of people following me to walk me home. I left my new friends with promises to go back basically every Tuesday and to call my new xanam friend, Samaya, when I return to Baku to walk the boulevard with her.

I think things are taking a turn for the better. And, on another very positive note, I've got news that my landlord in Russia is not planning on returning for another year. This girl is not planning on having to move. I win.

This is why I'm at the best site in all of Peace Corps Azerbaijan... in my completely unbias opinion.

Amazing.

I've been missing lately; you might have noticed. If not, don't worry about it; I really don't mind.

I can't honestly say I've seen much outside of my own apartment for the past week as I've been caught in the grips of some horrific illness that's kept me bedridden and miserable. But, such is life. Luckily, (typically) I only get really sick about once a winter, so here's hoping I don't have to deal with anything like this for the rest of my time here.

Pre getting sick and whiny, I visited Gence (twice) for 2 different things. The first reason I had to go was to get my swine flu vaccination. Me and some other Ming kids hopped a marshrut early one morning to go get our shots in a hotel room with one of the trusty PC doctors... not sketch at all... Overall, though, it was a pleasant day as I got to see 2 of the new volunteers that I hadn't seen in quite awhile (amongst other great people). Flash-forward 2 days and I was making that trip again, but for a more social and fun reason - Sabina's birthday. Last year, about this time, I blogged about visiting Gence for Sabina's birthday. She was my first Azerbaijani teacher and friend. It was great to be with her again and see her hit year 22. We all had a sleepover and it was lovely.

Upon my arrival back, I kept thinking about how this year has officially become my 'year of lasts'. It was my last year spending Sabina's birthday with her. My last Christmas and New Years have already passed. This is my last full winter and, inshallah, my last sickness. All these other lasts are popping up all over the place as well. I'm trying not to think of everything in this context, but, sometimes, I find it to be a difficult thing to do. The thing is, a lot happens in 10 months and I can't quite see that finish line quite yet, so I best not let my mind wander there.

Over New Years, me and Laura decided we wanted to start playing basketball at the sports stadium. So, one day while we were being worthless, food coma-ed zombies, we wandered into the sports store to dribble some balls. It was going to happen.

We returned to Mingechevir and found a ball. Success. We weren't sure when time was going to be on our sides, but it didn't matter. Fast forward to Friday and my plans for work fell through, so we headed to the stadium with no idea what to really expect. In our sports-type/comfy clothes, we made our way over to discover a group of kids playing soccer in the one court. After speaking with the kids' coach, we learned they were going to be there for an hour. It was a nice day, so we sat, watched, chatted and waited. The coach was incredibly nice (he made the jerk Azer boys leave when they were harassing us) and the kids were pretty darned cute (they're not yet at that age where the switch for overt rudeness has been turned on). I was surprised when one of the little kids yelled "Yapon" (Japan) at me and the coach shooed him off and yelled. That's definitely not something I'm used to. It was welcomed. Anyways, when the kids were done, the coach gave us the motion to take the court. So, we did.

Laura and I had a good 15 minutes being just us and a few of those straggler kids. We let them shoot when they were nice and talked a little with them. Soon, though, the court was home to a ton of new people including many boys, 4 girls (!!!) and 2 coaches (one a woman). They invited us to play with them. Azeri basketball is something fierce where all those rules of the homeland are completely thrown out the window. It was dirty. And fun. For one game, it was me and Laura on separate teams playing with just boys. The second game was us, the girls, and the boys. The last game was just girls. We continued to play like good Americans until the end when the girls got a bit scary and started drawing blood. It was such a random and fun experience that neither me nor Laura expected. We talked with the coach and arranged to meet again.

Sunday, we returned at our arranged time (they were late). We had Alexis and Sean in tow for this round. We only played one game (we won), but it still held all the crazy the first day did. And, it was another fun day. Elbows were thrown, grabbing and fouls happened all over the place, and it was loud. Though there was a bit more harassment this time around, I still had a blast.

I do think that by us just being out there, doing what we do, really does show Azeris how we are. We're making our presence known, talk to new people, and play hard (with a supportive attitude that I think might be lacking on the other team's side). We clap when the other team scores, laugh (a bit uncontrollably) all throughout, and have fun. Sure, I love winning, but I love having fun more. It makes me excited to reach Softball season again.

I've been a bit MIA this past month, but I assure you it's for good reason. With the arrival of our new sitemates and the holiday season sneaking up behind us, this season has been particularly festive and filled with socializing and work. So, since I haven't updated as much, I'll just take you through the highlights.

Sitemate arrival. We got 4 new sitemates this month! With the arrival of new people, there were also welcome dinners, tours around town, general hanging out, and getting to know the new Ming family (while not forgetting those who've left).

Lale's return. Lale's back and I'm SO happy about it!

Sitemate Sean's birthday. Sean is one of the new sitemates here in Ming and, for his birthday, his friends came into town and spent it with him. We had great food, played fun games, and overall had a great time.

Christmas baking with my girls. My girls came over after Sean's birthday festivities to bake Christmas cookies! As you (might) can see, the cutting out of cookies weren't the most traditional, but it was delicious and fun all the same. We made sugar cookies and chocolate mint.

Visitors!. Ming's had a ton of visitors this past month. As always, fun, but also tiring.

Sitemate Laura's birthday!!!. Laura is our Christmas baby, so we started celebrating early with a Chinese inspired dinner with homemade fortune cookies! I made fortune cookies for the first time in my life and, let me tell you, it wasn't nearly as easy as I thought they'd be. Some of our favorite 6s came to town to celebrate the birth of Laura and we played games all through the night.

Sheki Christmas. Sheki Danielle hosted a TON of PCVs for a Holiday Hoorah and it was great! There were cookies, Christmas movies, music, the fabulous hotel, Secret Santa, hot showers, and warmth (both company and temperature wise). What else could've we asked for?! Thank you Danielle for a great time!

So, friends, Merry (belated) Christmas! Happy (belated) birthdays to Natalie and Sarah, too! Next up, Baku New Years.

I love the Holiday Season. This wasn't always the case, but it most assuredly is now.

This is my second and last Christmas I'll be spending in Azerbaijan. So, I'm kind of going as all out as I currently can. There's a small tree involved as well as other little decorations around the apartment. Yesterday I also did my first round of Christmas baking (motivated mostly by a neighbor's help in getting my electricity box to work again and wanting to thank them). I'm excited; I have some presents wrapped, garland up, Christmas movies ready, and am currently trying to perfect my Christmas '09 playlists. T'is the Season.

I found myself thinking about how my past few Christmases were before coming here. I honestly don't remember the day of very well... actually, not at all. But, I do remember the basic sections of life I was at. I think I'm able to remember that only because of the albums I had in rotation each year. I remember Holiday '05 (the old 111 Records catalogue and a Drive-Thru band sprinkled with various other bands I knew) because I was on the road all the time baking for and hanging out in seedy bars and decent venues all around NC with my band friends. That year, I spent the coldest night of my life at an old friend's house... that is, until I came here.Holiday '06 (Lydia, Sufjan Stevens, Bright Eyes, Band of Horses) had some of the same, but it also included working at Bath and Body Works, trolling through Gravity Records, and reading at Folks Cafe way too much. I remember '06 for providing an especially amazing Thanksgiving and, on Natalie's birthday, the 22nd, my first tattoo. That was also the Christmas Break of Atlas Shrugged. I think I calmed down a bit Holiday '07 (still Lydia, The Swell Season, Glen Hansard, Stars, Joseph Arthur) but I was still working a lot and stayed in Wilmington for the majority of the time. Cinematique, Thalian Hall, and spending time with Heather processing French Existentialism are my most vivid memories from that year. With all of these memories, I thought about who I was each of those years and how I barely recognize the person I was in '05... and how much I miss being that girl. There are so many people I wonder about from that chapter in my life, but I guess all of that is the cost of 'growing up'. Nevertheless, each of my past Seasons have held some memorable events.

My Holiday '08 and '09 will be forever instilled in my head as the ones I spent in Azerbaijan (provided I don't suffer from some sort of amnesia; knock on wood). Though they're probably not as eventful as the hustle and bustle of American consumerism and fueled with to-go Peppermint soy mochas, I think they're special nonetheless. '08 was my first not in the States and as an actual PCV. I pretended New Years trees were Christmas ones and I was good to go. It also may or may not have included a hat making party. This year, with me having a place of my own, I'm able to just be me and share my holiday with the Azerbaijanis I like the most. We'll bake Christmas goodies, watch old Christmas favorites, listen to Christmas music and I'll get to give presents! I think that for sure qualifies as a wonderful Holiday '09.

Hope to see all of you next Christmas! The thing, aside from being a RPCV, I'm looking forward to next year is meeting my niece. :)

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Top 3, at the very least. I've always been fond of the day, but a few years ago I experienced a Thanksgiving that I will never forget. Ever since that lovely Thanksgiving I find that I look forward to the next one with much anticipation. Last year was my first Thanksgiving in Azerbaijan, but this year was my first real Thanksgiving in Azerbaijan. And, I had 2 of them! I definitely made up for my McDonalds Thanksgiving last year (though it was still nice in its own taste of America kind of way).

My first Thanksgiving was the Peace Corps' Thanksgiving - the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Almost all of my group went to Baku to celebrate at the Charge D'affaires' place. It was a wonderful and generous invitation for him to extend. Meredith, the Country Director, and he provided turkeys and drinks and all the volunteers brought everything else - potluck style. Everything was delicious. We were all also able to stay with American Embassy workers and families. I cannot even begin to express how amazing the family I stayed with was. They were warm, welcoming, friendly and truly American. I was finally able to be in a family dynamic again and I realized how much I miss it. My stay with the family was more incredible than I ever imagined it to be. Not only was it a slice of America family wise, it was also a complete revisit to the amenities and lifestyle I once took for granted. For the first time in over a year, I was able to use a washer... and a dryer! I currently smell like Bounce fabric softener and it is glorious! It was spectacular to catch up with old friends, eat incredible food, spend some time in Baku, meet new people, and watch a fabulous talent show (that included a speedo, Disney tunes, and human pyramids).

Mingechevir also had our own little Thanksgiving on the actual day. We did another potluck event and I made stuffing and mac and cheese. There was a good amount of more great food and I am still full! It was nice to have a small event after our huge Baku get together and spend quality time with those I spend so much time with. We also had 2 guests, but it was still intimate and great. Not only did I get to eat more yummy food and hang out with people I enjoy, I was also able to Skype my family back home and see everyone! Everyone! I saw my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, and the baby! It was the first time I was able to see the baby and my brother as a dad. It was nice to "see" them and spend some of both our holidays with each other, even though we're worlds away.

This year I have a lot to be thankful for. I've come a long way in a year even though, at times, it feels like I've gone no where at all. My support networks are strong and I know I have stellar people in both of my worlds, friends and family. Being with my American Embassy family, I realized I'm able to find wonder in the simple things that exist back home. I have beautiful people in my life in Azerbaijan ranging from my first host family to expat friends and, of course, my Peace Corps family. And, finally, I have an incredible amount of things and opportunities to look forward to in the future. Who knows where I'll be or what I'll be planning on doing a year from now, but I'm thankful for all the prospects - as scary as they may be.

... and lasagna.  

There's never too small a celebration for us in Ming.  Any excuse to have cake or a dance party is good enough for us.  So, when we have a legit reason for it, we go all out.  Tonight we celebrated Andrea's birthday (a few days early)!  And, in tow, was a special birthday cake and made from absolute scratch lasagna, per her request.

My feat of the day was making the lasagna.  We don't have lasagna noodles here, so I had to make them... from scratch.  Since I was being all fancy and putting in the work, I decided to make them with spinach, too.  It took hours.  Prepping, mixing, kneading, resting, rolling, drying, boiling, cooling, draining... whoa.  But, in the end, they were awesome.  I also made 2 sauces for it and, of course, used lots of cheese.

Making things from scratch isn't abnormal for me anymore, but this seemed a bit intimidating to me.  I doubt I'll get to spend 5-6 hours on one dish once I get back to the States or wherever, so I'll enjoy it while I can.  

Last year on Andrea's birthday, we found out Laura was going to be our sitemate.  This year, I found out making a lasagna is worth all the work because good food goes far for our mental health.  Then, add a cake (of which we may or may not have had a giant slice each) and we're good to go.

Happy Birthday, Andrea!  Here's to another year of knowing you.

I work with some really great youth.  Of the special few, 2 of the girls I've made really great relationships with the past year, with tons of practice and work, have made it to the 3rd round of FLEX.

FLEX?  What's that you ask?  FLEX stands for Future Leaders Exchange and it's a US sponsored program that sends youth from post-Soviet states to America to be a high school student for a year.  Through American Councils, youth all over these countries take tests to qualify for the opportunity.  The 1st round weeds out the ones who shouldn't even be in the room for lack of English knowledge.  The 2nd round is a quite a bit more difficult and only 15% of the original pool make it to the 3rd round to write more essays and interview.  From the 3rd round, only about 50 people from the batch will be invited to study in America and usually only half of that number are from the regions of the country.  Given my calculations, that would average 4-6 from each region testing site (where usually over 800 take the 1st rounds' test).

I've worked with my girls pretty intensely the past few months, beginning in July.  It began as a film and writing club, but has since moved to watching Gilmore Girls (and movies, still), listening to podcasts, and reading books in English.  They've wrote essays and/or short stories for every movie we've watched, we've discussed issues, reviewed grammar and have built vocabulary (I'm pretty confident that my girls are the only ones to correctly use extraordinarily in their essays - I'm leaving my mark).  We've posed question after question, situation after situation, for anything I thought could pop up on the tests.  I wanted my girls to be able to show everyone how great I know they are.  They wrote their essays Monday (one of which was one I posed to them as a timed assignment the day before) and one had her interviews today.  My other girl is interviewing tomorrow.

I'm so proud and lucky to be working with these girls.  And, what's really amazing about this program is if they make it through, I might be able to see them in my environment!  It's been such an incredible experience being there to support them throughout these testing sessions.  Not only has it been great seeing them come out of testings confident and smiling, but I've also been able to see other kids, too, with all of their hopes and dreams unfolding slowly in front of them.  I've been able to see supportive parents who want their kid to have an opportunity they've never imagined would be available.  I've made sure to tell my girls' parents how incredible it is for the girls to get this far and I think they know how big of a feat it is, at least I hope so.  This has been such a motivating experience.

We don't find out until Aprilish if they've been invited to go, but, no matter what, these girls have learned and experienced so much this past year.  And, if they don't make it, they'll definitely rock it out next year.  One of my strongest girls was a smidge too young to take the test this year, so they would be in good company...  

With it getting dark 6PM or before, I find that I have a lot of time. Time to watch movies, listen to podcasts and music, read, lesson plan and reflect on my life past and present as well as attempt to try to plan for the future.

I know my posts as of late have been quite reflective on my past year here, but tonight's focal line of thought was about who I was over a year ago when I was still in Wilmington wasting away my summer days hanging out and drinking my nights away downtown. I can't say that fun wasn't had, but that time post college and pre Peace Corps was also something very heavy, uncertain, and confusing. Looking back on my photos from that past life of mine, I can barely recognize that lifestyle anymore and I've come to think when I'm back in that environment, that I don't think I'll take back to it. We'll see, of course, and there will most assuredly be many socially awkward encounters, but I don't see that type of life as mine anymore. I guess, when I really think about it and come down to one feeling about the entirety... I feel so much older than that person then. And, with that thought, a huge part of me feels incredibly absurd as I know how young it is I am and how much life I have yet to live.

I never really understood how people become old and I never thought I really wanted to find that out, but I'm seeing that it just happens. It happens when you're living out commitments and planning for the future ones. It happens when you're reflecting on the past just to realize another day, week, month has passed. Being here a year puts that into perspective for me. And, I know, next year, at this time, I'll be getting ready to jet set out of this popsicle stand in search of my next one.

We're at the point in our service that the next step is all on our minds. We need to take those GREs, think about what it is we want to pursue when we get back, hope that the job market is ready for those ideas of ours... we're figuring out where we want to go afterwards, be it vacation or to live... I feel like it's just one of those times where complete uncertainty just hangs above our heads. I can't speak for the whole of my group, but I know it's on the minds of the ones I've talked to. But, also, while we're in our own heads trying to answer those unpredictable and badgering questions, we're still volunteers. And, I think, having that distraction is incredibly beneficial.

Being here a year has taken its toll, but we're more able to realize what we're actually able to accomplish here and, honestly, life as a volunteer is easier. We're used to this life and we know what is and isn't possible in the environment we're in. I feel successful in the projects and relationships I've invested in. If I can be so content a year in, I'm hoping that by the end of it all I can feel like I've done a good thing and a service to my country, Azerbaijan, and myself.

My countdown has finally taken it's turn. It's no longer counting how many months I've been here, but how little time I feel I have left. Next thing I know it'll be 2010 and my year to go home... granted at the very end of it, but it's the year, nonetheless.

I love softball.  

We play softball in Mingechevir and it is awesome.  This season was something a bit different... it was all AZ6.  The experience was tumultuous but, in the end, it proved successful.  Not only was it AZ6 running it in the country - in Mingechevir, it was only girls.  I know that doesn't sound like a big deal for all you people back home who're able to mingle with the opposite sex and enjoy the company of anyone you choose but, here, it's a big deal.  The season started off slow with bad weather and very low attendance, but the past 2 weeks were pretty incredible and we were able to gain some very valuable players.  We even named one of our favorite guys, Mensur, Captain!  

Today was the one and only Fall Tournament for this year.  Only 2 teams participated, but it was fun nonetheless.  Tim, Lucy, and Danielle traveled in (though Danielle had to take an emergency trip home) and brought much team spirit and support.  Rolling into town this morning was Gence bringing Mathias, Chris, Katie, Elmer and a really great team.  With my Cubs gear on and a strong team led by a new Captain, we played.

The first game was a close one and Mingechevir squeezed out a 16-15 win with only minutes left on the clock.  Mensur did fabulously guiding our team, creating a line up and manning the field.  We even had a new All-Star player, Allahverdi, shine through the sweetest slide into second I've ever witnessed!  My girls (Sabina and Sama) even came out and played quite wonderfully.  It was a tight game and Gence definitely gave us a run for our money!

The second game was very low in points for the first few innings and Mingechevir's defense was phenomenal - I am so proud!  We were leading that game 8-5 (I think) with only 15 minutes left when the whole game took a huge turn for the worse...  In true stereotypical Azeri male fashion, a group of guys show up and try to force us off the field even though there was another free field right across the way.  Things escalated very quickly and reached a very frustrating peak which included a bit of physical contact from the Azeri guys toward one of our Volunteers.  We were seriously being attacked... over a field.  Since it was near the end of the game, we decided to be the bigger people and leave, letting them treat the guests of their country so badly.  What gets my goat is that they pushed out the kids!  The kids!  Thanks guys for being so selfish.

We pushed aside our frustrations, bonded over the absurdity, and took our lovely group photos.  As angry as the last part of the day made me, I can't forget how incredible of a season it's been (even with the slow start).  I got to continue working and deepen relationships I made last season as well as create new ones.  These kids we worked with are truly the special ones, in my opinion.  They're the ones that make me want to be here and the ones I enjoy spending time with.  These are the kids I'll look back on with fond memories and wonder how they turned out while secretly hoping they're still the special ones who're polite, respectful, and full of untarnished life.  They are why I'm here and I'm better for knowing them.

Sometimes, as I'm sure you're all aware, things just don't go right.  Today was one of those days.  The days where everything goes wrong - where one bad something falls right after the previous bad thing.  

I began my day on the hunt for money.  ATMs get really crazy at the end of the month and just causes me migraines that last all day.  I was hoping to beat the crowds and I did!  But!  I also got behind one of those people who have multiple ATM cards.  To make matters worse, the ATM was only giving out 1 manat bills at 20 manat increments.  So, after waiting behind one person for over 20 minutes, I had to leave to go to work.  Fail.

I strolled onward to work unable to pay my phone, water and gas bills because my lack of money as it all remained in my bank account.  Minding my own business and hiding behind my sunglasses, I tried to breathe and let go of the too typical ATM challenge.  Then, out of no where, pops in my old counterpart/director from my first Host Organization.  I had quite a few issues with this guy and I always like to tell myself he doesn't exist outside of those horrible stories I tell of him.  But there he was.  Existing.  And yelling my name.  I shouted out that I was on my way to work and moved on.  Fail.

I arrive at the lyceum and heard the loud children upstairs from outside.  'Oh, geez,' I thought.  After my Tuesday experience, I was not excited to step in that room.  I get into a classroom and I try to be happy and positive, I really do.  But the kids! They yell and don't listen and I either have to talk over them, yelling to be heard, or just sit there miserable while all of them yell.  Not fun.  The director at that school wants me to tach them English songs, so I went with 'Twinkle, Twinkle' and 'BINGO.'  The problem with this class is that I have no place being in that room.  They speak very little to no English.  Not to sound exclusive, but since I've come to Mingechevir I've worked with Intermediate skills at the lowest.  I'm not trained to be a TEFL and not having an Azeri teacher with me makes for a very rambunctious classroom with more disciplining than teaching.  I end up kicking a couple kids out, not letting really late ones in, semi teaching some songs, and playing a disastrous game of 'Simon Says'.  Fail.

I had a Skype date with a friend, too.  So, I thought, this will make up for my bad day.  I go over to the fancy hotel and wireless doesn't work.  Fail.

So, I walk home breathing in the Fall air, looking around at the plants that still live and the colors of it all.  I glance at the fountains and the sunset trying to fill my mind with positive things and focus on the good as opposed to the full blown migraine and day's frustrations. With some Fall-type tunes in my head, I stopped at a different ATM and successfully got money, stopped by the store with the nice cheese lady and, though they didn't have my chocolate milk (I didn't let it bother me), got some banana juice instead and yogurt.  I finished my walk home to rest a little when I get a call.  I didn't know the number.  I don't usually answer when I don't know the number, but with new trainees in country, I decided to, just in case.  And, I'm glad I did.  It was Nazim!  He is one of my best students and only real male Azerbaijani friend!  He's in the Army right now (as it's mandatory for all males here).  It was nice to chat with him and see how he's faring where he is (a not very safe region).  I immediately updated Lale that I heard from him.  Finally, something good.

Now, something very good is about to happen.  Step Up and brownie night with Sitemates Laura and Alexis.  It might sound a little lame watching Step Up again this month (once in my film club), but nothing's wrong with dance parties, cute guys, and a bit of chocolate overload.  My migraine is already subsiding...

Thank goodness for the simple things.  

In no way should invade be taken as a negative term.  In Ming's case, it's the accurate one.  Since the departure of our 4 sitemates and leaving us 4, it sure felt like a lot of people were in Mingechevir for a few days over the AZ7 PCV visits.  We were fortunate enough to host 6 new trainees and, I hope, fun was had by all.  

The purpose of a PCV visit is to get a glimpse into PCV life.  Although most of it is accurate, some of it isn't as well since some of us take a lighter schedule while guests are in town or they might just catch us at a time when not too much is on your plate.  I was very glad mine came on days I actually do work, so that was, at least, something.  Last year on my PCV visit, we didn't do work at all, really, but did get a chance to finally relax from training stress (which is the more beneficial aspect to the visit, I think...).  So, I tried to find a healthy balance of work and fun.

The PCTs came in on Sunday and we were able to greet them and bring them all back to my place for the evening.  I cooked dinner, baked a big apple pie and served up some made from scratch banana nut muffins and biscottis.  It was nice getting to all hang out together the first night (and for all the subsequent ones) and kept many of the possible introductory awkward pauses at a minimum.  

Monday I was able to take my Trainees around Mingechevir for a walk before my afternoon Film Club.  I'm extremely proud of my FLEX girls, so it was great to be able to show them off a bit.  We watched our film, chatted for a bit, then it was time for us to go off to softball.  Softball season is winding down this week with our tournament on Sunday, so we had enough people come out to play a game with us, the Trainees, and our kids.  I had a blast.  I love softball.  The night ended with us going down to Mingechevir's only haunt, the Wild West, where we had dinner, drinks, and an amazing (on the house) fruit platter at the end of the meal.  Laura and I were also able to take our Trainees through the city to look at all the lights (which would have been a shame not to... being in the Light City and all).

Continuing the tour of Mingechevir, we walked up to the reservoir the next morning.  We spent time there for a bit and I found a new spinny ride reminiscent of those dangerous playground spin rides.  Fun.  And dizzying.  My group had work at 2, so we headed back to change clothes before I started work at a new place.  This was a first experience for myself, as well, and it was a bit of trouble.  Basically, I go to a room filled with 25ish kids that don't know English... I think they want me to be a teacher and that is not what I want... at all.  We'll see what happens with that one.  The nice thing about after that, though, was we got to come home and relax before dinner at Laura's.  Our last night together was with good food, great company, and Apple to Apples.

It still amazes me that we've been here for a year and talking with the new people really drives that in so much more.  Having the 7s visit was a great experience and it was truly wonderful getting to know them and begin new friendships.  It was a blast staying up with Kathy and chatting the nights away, watching Anthony Bourdain with Kathy and Eli, talking on the balcony with Derek, experiencing a truly Azer moment (however frustrating) with Jessica and Alisha, walking around with Judy, sharing our first year stories with everyone, playing Apples to Apples with a new group of people, getting to chat with the ones I didn't really get to when I went in for Hub Day and to hear about what they're going through right now while also thinking how me and my group felt the same as they do now.

As exciting as all that was, I was beat the day after.  I said my goodbyes in the early morning, went back to bed, woke up for a bit and then slept til the next morning.  

Next up, Softball Sunday.

Last week, I returned to Sumgayit.  It wasn't the first time since I got out of PST (Pre-Service Training) that I went back, but it was the first time I went back when a new group of trainees were also there.  The AZ7s have arrived and are going full force into cultural immersion in Sumgayit trying to learn the subtleties of the culture and gaining language and work skills to function as a volunteer.  

Going back was probably one of the strangest experiences I've had in this country.  It wasn't bad, at all, but it was incredibly surreal.  I was in the same exact place I was a year ago watching a new group go through what I and my fellow 6s went through.  It was odd being on the other side seeing them adapt to the 'wonders' of Sumgayit for their first real week and suddenly becoming qualified to lead a session at a Hub Day (and not playing Scrabble in the back row) and being a source to answer questions about volunteer life.  I guess we're officially not the newbies anymore.

With my return to Sumgayit was also my return to my old host family.  That was pretty much the one condition I had upon returning to facilitate a session.  I wanted to stay with my family.  Volunteers aren't supposed to go into Sumgayit when the Trainees are there; so, to be able to go back while they were there and do everything I wanted to do was nice.  In returning to my family, I essentially returned home.  A year ago, I was the bumbling quiet American girl in that house trying to communicate in baby phrases and barely making appearances out of my room. Not saying I'm not still that person in some ways... I definitely still pause in conversation, but it was easy this time around.  My family has a new Trainee staying with them this year and it was amazing to be able to serve as a translator and a guide of sorts for her.  I broke that family in for an American and seeing how comfortable she already seems to be... well, you can tell.  I can honestly say, full heartedly, that I love that family.  When I go there, I am in the company of a group of people that genuinely cares for me and enjoys my presence however bizarre it may be.  My dad still jokes with me about playing sports and is still proud when I tell him how games go and how many points I score.  My mom still brings up all those embarrassing stories of my first weeks in country while still being the most loving and animated woman I know here.  And, my sister still teaches me new things about my family and gives me fabulous back massages.  My days back home were incredible and filled with laughter, great food, fun stories, and, yes, a few misunderstandings, but it was cozy, familiar, and secure.  I also came home with 3 jars of my mom's murabbe (fruit preserves), so that was a bonus.

Since I was there on Sunday as well, I found myself at a familiar hangout - the Dove. The Dove is a spot where, every Sunday, you could find an American.  PST is filled with language classes, training sessions, studying, homework, and other tedious assignments.  Sundays were our only day off.  So, at the end of the week, some of us would play some soccer and/or grab a beer (or more) to unwind until we began another intense and tiring week.  I made a comment to the 7s there that it was surreal being in that same exact spot I probably was a year ago but with a whole new group of people.  As out of place as that is for me now, it was a good experience being able to go back and get to know the new group on a more social level in an environment I knew well.  

If I had known then what I know now I would've been able to get about and understand more, but I would have also lost the extreme optimism I had when I first came in.  It was surprising to see how into Peace Corps they are right now and it was a shocking experience for me to see how far away I've gotten away from that this past year at site. It was nice to be reminded of the excitement and enthusiasm that I might have lost.  I think it is extremely beneficial to take what I learned from this return to my Azerbaijani roots and return to site with a different attitude about my service.

So, thank you Sumgayit, family, AZ7s and new friends for those good days, the flood of old memories, and the needed mental refresher.  

Mingechevir has been saying goodbye to loved volunteers slowly.  June marked Cindy's departure.  September was blue as Bev made her way back to the West Coast.  And, now, we've said our 'so longs' and 'heleliks' to Nate and Mariko.  Last week, Nate and Mariko hosted their final Hub Night and it was a bittersweet event.  We ate good food, played fun games, cleared out their apartment of stuff and took our final Ming pictures.  

It's just beginning to hit me that we're down to the final four for the moment until the 7s come over in December.  While we will have some new faces popping in in the next couple weeks with the 7s coming to visit, we won't have new 'staples' for a bit of time.

So it ends.  This chapter being the newbies in a city where American volunteers have already grown accustomed to the way of life is over.  Now we're the ones who have routines, ideas, and contacts who get to treat the new volunteers as wonderfully as ours treated us.  

Chapter 2 - Year 2 has begun.

Welcome new volunteers!  And, goodbye old friends.  Inshallah I will see you all back stateside.

My favorite time of year begins today... Fall.  It's extra special this year, too, because not only is it my mom's birthday (Happy Birthday, mom!), it's my one year mark of being in Azerbaijan!  It's kind of a milestone for me marking my first year completed and knowing that there's only a bit over a year left.  Not at my half way mark yet, but it's coming...

All of this is making me think that I really need to get motivated and start up all the activities I want to do over these next 15 months.  It's about time I start to focus on a bigger project, write some grants, and come up with some fresh ideas work wise.  I'm starting to do all this by revamping what it is I do.  I'm less focused on Conversation Clubs and general activities and am approaching this year with a  mentor type of attitude.  With Lale, my go-to girl, working in Baku until December, I needed to rethink what it was I wanted to do.  So, at the moment, I'm working with younger girls with their English and Critical Thinking skills through film, essay writing, podcast listening, and more photo clubs.  I'm also toying with some other ideas, but I need to flesh them out a bit more.  I'm also actively opening my house to these girls and other older youth to come over, hang out, and have some one-on-one time to improve skills as well as attempting to provide a safe haven of sorts whenever a growing teenager needs it.  My way of being a PCV is to try to impact the people I feel close to as much as possible.

With Fall coming also brings cooler weather foods in season!  Pomegranates have begun popping up in the bazaar and streets, apples fill trunks and cars and are getting to be cheaper, I saw spinach for the first time not too long ago, and soon persimmons and clementines will show up!  

It's getting to be that perfect weather time where wearing long sleeve shirts, sweaters and jeans is comfortable.  It's almost that time where a steaming hot cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate is refreshing and you can feel it go down your throat and hit your stomach.  Soon it won't be unbearable to cook a meal in the kitchen because of the heat and I can snuggle up in a thick blanket without sweating profusely.  

Sadly, I know, the perfect chunk of perfect weather will pass and become freezing quicker than I I had the chance to enjoy it and I'll be wanting it to be hot again, but I'm not going to think about that quite yet.  Today I'm enjoying the mild day with my coffee under a light blanket.  

Happy one year to me and my group and Happy Birthday, mom!

This week marked the 11th week of me with kittens.  It was only half of them as on the 1st Andrea took Baskin and Robbins.  3 cats were a lot easier to handle than 5, but it was still a bit much.  Alexis was in line to take Runt cat and then it would have been just me, Scout, and Beast cat until I would be able to find her a home.  

Well, things change.

Monday night/Tuesday early morning, Runt cat died.  I don't know what happened, but when I went outside for the morning feeding, Runt cat didn't run up per usual.  I went searching and found him laying in his favorite sleeping spot not breathing.  I take a bit of comfort seeing he was in his spot, so he might have just slipped away peacefully. 

So, Alexis took Beast cat Wednesday night.  I'm not going to lie; it was harder for me than I originally thought it would be.  Beast cat was my favorite and the one I got attached to most; but, by the last day, I also noticed Beast cat might have inherited her mom's needy gene as well.

Now it's down to one cat and myself.  The way it was always supposed to be.  And, now, I can be like the cool grandma that just visits and catsits for all the kittens without actually having to live with them all.  When I'm tired of the mewing, I can peace out.

It's strange to think about me having these kittens for the entirety of this summer.  A lot has went on and changed since their birth.  I've found out quite a bit about myself during this venture, too...

The most notable realization of mine during this time?  Although I love cats and the thrill of raising kittens was fun, wacky, and exciting, I will never have the patience to be a crazy cat lady when I get old... lesson learned.