> Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not. This is for your entire life:

> >

> >

> > Have a great day,

> >

> >

> > (X) Smoked a cigarette

> >

> > (x) Drank so much you threw up

> >

> > ( ) Crashed a friend's car

> >

> > ( ) Stolen a car

> >

> > (X) Been in love

> >

> > (X) Been dumped

> >

> > ( ) Shop lifted-gum

> >

> > ( ) Been laid off/fired

> >

> > (X) Quit your job

> >

> > (X) Been in a fist fight

> >

> > (X) Snuck out of your parent's house

> >

> > (x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back

> >

> > ( ) Been arrested

> >

> > (X) Gone on a blind date

> >

> > (X) Skipped school

> >

> > ( ) Moon Someone

>

> > (X) Saw someone die

> >

> > (X) Been to Canada

> >

> > (X) Been to Mexico

> >

> > (X) Been on a plane

> >

> > (X) Been lost

> >

> > ( ) Been on the opposite side of the country

> >

> > (X) Gone to Washington, DC

> >

> > (X) Swam in the ocean

> >

> > (X) Felt like dying

> >

> > (X) Cried yourself to sleep

> >

> > (X) Accidentally farted while talking/walking

> >

> > ( ) Played cops and robbers

> >

> > (X) Recently colored with crayons

> >

> > (X) Sang karaoke

> >

> > ( ) Paid for a meal with only coins

> >

> > (X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't

> >

> > ( ) Made prank phone calls

> >

> > ( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

> >

> > (X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

> >

> > (X) Danced in the rain

> >

> > (X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

> >

> > ( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe

> >

> > ( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about

> >

> > (X) Blown bubbles

> >

> > (X) Made a bonfire on the beach

> >

> > (X) Crashed a party

> >

> > (X) Gone roller-skating

> >

> > (x) Gone Ice-skating

>

> > ( ) Gone Skinny-Dipping

> >

> > Any nicknames? Lor, Miss Nat

> >

> > What is your favorite drink? Passionfruit juice with rum

> >

> > Tattoos? nah

>

> >Body piercing? A nose piercing

> >

> > Birthplace? Minneapolis, MN

>

> > Favorite vacation spot? Mexico

> >

> > Ever been to Africa? I live there, baby!

> >

> > Ever steal any traffic signs? not yet

> >

> > Ever been in a car accident? also not yet

> >

> > A, B, C, D, DD cup size? B

> >

> > 2 Door or 4 Door? Like 2 doors, don`t have a car tho

> >

> > Salad dressing? What salad dressing? Vinegar & oil`s all I get

> >

> > Favorite pie? Strawberry rhubarb, à la mode

> >

> > Favorite movie? Amélie (at the moment)

> >

> > Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving

> >

> > Favorite food? Mexican

>

> > Favorite day of the week? Friday

> >

> > Favorite TV show? What`s TV?

> >

> > Toothpaste? Crest Extra Whitening, Fresh Mint. Cool Mint is NOT okay.

> >

> > Favorite smell? Ylang ylang groves on Nosy Be

> >

> > Favorite sound? The phone at the flophouse ringing for me

> >

> > What do you do to relax? Drink a beer with Allie

> >

> > Message to your friends reading this? I miss you!

>

> > How do you see yourself in 10 years? Married, baby, llamas, Dr. of something

> >

> > What do you enjoy receiving? Letters

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.

Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.

You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.

Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.

In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.

Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.

You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker SoulWhat Kind of Soul Are You?

I wonder what's come over me lately. I feel strangely calm, strangely quiet. Even with the construction workers swarming around my house, hitting on me and then calling me "mean" if I don't play along, I feel relaxed. It's been 8 months and 1 week since I got to Madagascar, and I can tell that I'm a different person. It's a little scary, honestly. Whereas before, I had a temper, now it's hard to piss me off. Not much can ruffle me. But at the same time, I feel as if I've become boring. Sedate. Too normal. I always liked how I was temperamental.

At least school's almost over--just four months left--and then I get that looong break until school starts back up mid-September. But I find myself wondering how I'm going to get through teaching English for one more year. This is my problem. I know I don't want to teach EFL once this is over, but I've got to for now. Other PCVs find what they're into and do that. I've got this job, this schedule, and this waning interest. I love my students, but I don't love teaching them English. I love teaching them songs. And I love my town and the friends I have there.

Still, I can't help but feel dissatisfied sometimes. It's been hard to get my mind off of that and on something else, especially since I've been at my town for the past five weeks without a single letter from home. The mail here's slow sometimes--I know that--but every Wednesday I hike over to the post office, hoping. Now the postal workers have taken to saying, "You don't get any mail? Your friends sure do!" referring to the other 2 volunteers who use the same post office.

God, that last part sounds bitchy, but mail's important! I have only simple pleasures here, and mail's one of them. One of them is watching movies at the Peace Corps house. Donnie Darko was on and I had this idea of myself as Grandma Death, who walks back and forth to the mailbox. Okay, so I'm not there yet.

I run now. I'm a runner. I run and I look forward to the next run and I like the pounding of my feet on the dirt road to the market town. I like how my face flushes and steams up my glasses in the cold air at 5:30 in the morning. I like passing the farmers on their bicycles yelling "Malakilaky!" (hurry up! go fast!) at me, their grins wide as can be. Maybe that's where this calm is coming from, the sensation of my mind clearing as I watch the sun break through the morning's rain clouds, over the hills and rice farms and following me for the rest of the day. We'll see if it lasts.

This is stolen from llothe, but I'm not in the mood for another sort of update. It's based on my area, where they speak the dialect that is called "official," but could also be called the Imerina dialect.

O is pronounced like OO, as in "noodle"

E is pronounced as a long "a" sound, like in "ache."

OA is "ooh-aah" at the end of a word.

AO is "ow" by itself and "oh" in the middle of a word.

R is rolled lightly, Spanish style.

This language has no accents on its letters! Easy to type.

Basics:

Malagasy - gasy

I know a little Malagasy - Efa mahay teny gasy fa kely (kelikely fotsiny)

Welcome - Tonga soa!

Thanks - Misaotra

Yes - Eny, Eeeeyen (it's a noise)

No - Tsia, Eh-heh

Nice to meet you - Faly mahafantatra

Goodbye - Veloma

See you later - miandrapiahoan-o!

Hello - Manaohoana or Salama

Good - tsara

Very good - tsara be

Smart - mahay

Very tasty - matsiro (be)

Bathroom - kabone

What is this? - Inona ity?

Food - sakafo

Bread - mofo

Water - rano

Earth - tany

Moon - volana

Sun - masoandro (meaning "eye of the day")

Lightning - kotrokotroka

Numbers:

1 - iray

2 - roa

3 - telo

4 - efatra

5 - dimy

6 - enina

7 - fito

8 - valo

9 - sivy

10 - folo

11 - iraik'amby folo

12 - roa amby folo

20 - roapolo

30 - telopolo

40 - efapolo

50 - dimampolo

60 - eninpolo

70 - fitopolo

80 - valopolo

90 - sivyfolo

100 - zato

1,000 - arivo

10,000 - alina

100,000 - hetsy

264,576 - enina amby fitopolo sy dimanjato sy efatra arivo sy enina alina sy roa hetsy

264,576 Ariary (local currency) = about $132

Geography:

High ground - tanety

City - tanana

Countryside - amban'ny vohitra

Rice field - tanim-bary

Village - tanan'kely

Villagers - mponina

Woods - ala

Sea - ranomasina (Holy waters)

Colors:

Colored - lokoina

Red - mena

Yellow - mavomavo

Gold - volamena

Blue - manga

Green - maitso

Black - mainty

White - fotsy

Purple - volom'parasy (flea hair)

Orange - orange (French)

Brown - marron (French)

Grey - gris (French)

Pink - mavo kely (little yellow)

People:

Girl - vavy

Boy - lahy

Woman - vehivavy

Man - lehilahy

People - olona

Me - izaho

You - anao, ianao

Brother - anadahy (for a woman), rahalahy (for a man)

My Brother - anadahiko, rahlahiko

Nose - orona

Tongue - layla

Mouth - vava

Butt - vody

Animals:

Animal - biby

Snake - bibilava (long animal)

Crocodile - voay

Fish - trondro

Bird - vorona

Cat - piso, saka

Dog - alika

Pig - kisoa

Chicken - akoho

Duck - ganagana

Mosquito - moka

Other important phrases:

I'm not French, I'm American! - Tsy vazaha fa Amerikana!

I'm just looking - Mijerijery fotsiny

I don't want to buy any - Tsy te-hividy

I don't want to come into your store - Aoka aloha!

Happy New Year!

I just got back from my two week vacation on Madagascar's coast. I and 20 other volunteers left Tana on the 20th for Mahajanga, a city on the northwest coast. I hired a minibus for everyone so we could at least be comfortable for the 12-hour trip. We traveled at night, so there wasn't much to see along the way, but I'm told that there's not much to see in the daylight, anyway. We all spent two days in the city, but after two sleepless nights the buggy, sauna-like conditions in our hotel, my friends and I decided to splurge on a place with air-conditioning, beach views, and a swimming pool. By splurge, I mean spending the equivalent of $13/night instead of $4/night. One night there was well worth it, and we felt well-rested before catching the boat from Mahajanga's port to the island of Nosy Be ("big island").

The trip by boat took 20 hours, hugging the coastline the whole way. Because of the heat, it was impossible to sleep unless you were able to stake out a place on the upstairs deck, outside in the sea breeze. By the end of the ride, I was sticky from the hot, humid, salty air and lost no time in getting to a beach and throwing myself into the ocean. For the first few days, a few girlfriends and I stayed at a beachfront hotel. There we met up with a young Swiss tourist, Martin, who was traveling alone and on a similarly tight budget. We went on two separate island-hopping excursions with him--he hired the guides, and having six of us along helped him afford it and get a good deal.

Our first trip was snorkeling at Nosy Tanikely (it means "tiny island"), taking a one-hour pirogue trip to get there. A pirogue is a wooden canoe with one outrigger and an outboard motor strapped to it. It was my first time snorkeling, and it was amazing. Even though I had a leaky mask that I rented from some guy who kept the gear in an old rice sack, I got to swim among beautiful corals and fish that I'd only seen before at Preuss or other aquariums. I saw sea urchins, a firefish (kinda like lionfish, I think), little orange fish hiding in anemones, and I could even hear the parrotfish chomping away underwater! I now want to learn how to scuba dive--I'm already hooked.

The other excursion was to Nosy Faly ("happy island"). We took a long taxi ride through groves of ylang-ylang trees, over the worst road I've seen yet, and ended up in a little fishing village surrounded by mangrove swamps. Little girls strolled through with trays of bananas for sale on their heads, singing "katakat-e, katakat-e!", the word for banana in the local Sakalava dialect. We packed up and took a 2-hour pirogue ride to that island, where we combed the beach for shells and swam. That night, we were treated to a dinner of roasted fish in coconut-curry sauce, mango salad, rice, and cold beers in front of a palm-frond bonfire on the beach. Some curious kids came to listen to us speaking English, and after some conversation in Malagasy, we had a sing-along, which lasted until their parents called the kids to bed. We sat on the sand and star-gazed and talked until the rainclouds rolled in and we had to run to our bamboo-walled, palm-thatched bungalow.

So after celebrating Christmas and New Year with my friends, far away from my town and my little house and garden, I'm back in Tana. I flew here, a trip that took 40 minutes, instead of over 32 hours. School starts next week, and I'll be teaching more adult classes sometime this month. I'm also going to be working with the local working professionals' union on renovating a community center and helping them plan what they want to do with it, and finding grants for the services they want it to provide. I may also be moving to a new house in a few months, because the dirt road to my site is getting paved. The new road means tearing down a lot of roadside houses and shops, including the ones surrounding my house. So, unless I want to live nearly IN the road, I'll have to move. It all depends on how big and wide this promised road really is. I'll let you know!

Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays. It really didn't feel like Christmas at all here! I need snow for it to be Christmas! Yes, I actually miss snow. And of course, I miss all of you at home, too.

Happy 2006!

Christmas is coming up fast, and my first semester is over. Well, the first term is over. Or maybe it's the first two of five terms that have ended? I don't get it. But I had to do 180 report cards by hand in 2 days and I got it done, thanks to some horrible coffee. And then I got the hell out of dodge a week before school officially ended so I could go to a training event at the lovely Peace Corps retreat. It would have been great had I not contracted food poisoning, and had to knock myself out with a bunch of different medicines. At least it's OVER...I'm fine now, as I'm writing this, but I'm still groggy from all of the anti-nausea pills I had to take.

It's going to be Christmas, and with no family around, guess who's my family? That's right...Peace Corps Volunteers! You know, so many people in my town invited me to spend the holidays with them, and I'm still debating whether or not to spend New Years' at least among my Malagasy friends and co-workers, but it's just not the same. A Malagasy person can't understand what I'm missing about Christmas and being away from home, but other volunteers get it. I have the feeling that celebrating the "taom-baovao" in Andramasina is going to involve getting dragged from house to house, eating, for an entire day. At least that's how New Years' was described to me. I guess as long as these holidays don't turn out to be as crap as my Thanksgiving was, then I'll be fine.

The plan is to visit a tropical paradise off the coast for several days. That trip may also have to involve a lot of laying on the beach or wandering around wrapped in nothing but my lamba and giant awesome sunglasses, eating hot brochettes. Rumor has it that I live on an island, and I'll finally be able to see the ocean!

And I'm putting my hair back to the red color again. I was worried about what people in my town would think, but I don't care anymore. They all say my hair is "menamena" (red) anyway, so what's a difference of a few shades? It's my head! And I like it better red.

Your Birthdate: October 4

You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.

Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.

Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.

You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.

Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics

Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness

Your power color: Navy blue

Your power symbol: Shield

Your power month: AprilWhat Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It's been one month since I felt the warm, glowing embrace of technology...oh, wait. Uh, bad technology! Bad! Evil, thou! After a month of the same no-running-water, spotty electricity situation, I thought I would be more relived to come to the city. I'm not. Tana is hectic and smoggy outside of the bouganvillea-clad enclave of a neighborhood where Peace Corps has its offices. And this place is artificial, all about high walls and barbed wire and guarded gates.

I'm starting to prefer my town, my house, my things put away on shelves and my slippers by the bed and my dog waiting by the door, riveted by the suspense of wherever we might be headed today. And I much prefer running through the moonlit streets under a clear, starry sky with Aina and Vatsy to sitting crammed onto a taxi-be. It's strange to be propelled by nothing but my own feet for so long and then have to get everywhere by car. I'm just used to my town, that's all...comforted by its familiarity in a place you might think would be so alien. The thing is, where I live, it kinda looks like Oklahoma, except with rice paddies carved into it.

So far, I've just been teaching. It's a lot of repetition, but that's the only real difficulty I've had--repeating the same lesson 4 times in one day, and pacing around a classroom for eight hours. My feet get SOooO tired! Oh, and I had my birthday. I made a giant pot of chili and brought it over to my friend's house. We cooked up a big pot of rice to go with it and that altogether fed about a dozen people. Then afterwards, we made carrot ginger cake, with one important shortcut: instead of baking the batter, I added some more flour and we just fried it like doughnuts. It was a HUGE hit, and I've made it a few more times since.

And thanks for all the letters, cards, and presents...it was a very good birthday!

...there's always a cat. I thought screaming cats just might, perhaps, hopefully not be here. But of course, there's a bunch of cats who fight and wail lustily outside my window at night. Aahhh. That and pigeons. I guess a lot of people raise them here, and they walk around town cooing and pecking the ground and staring into space.

Well, school hasn't started yet. It was supposed to be underway already, but there's a sudden influx of new students in the level I'm teaching, sixieme. I'll have over 200 students this year! It's just taking forever to register the kids, which has to be done by hand/broken typewriter. I don't know what they're going to do about classrooms, either--there are only three classrooms for four classes of sixieme. We'll see.

My house is beautiful! It's painted now, with light yellow walls and bright green shutters. I have curtains up inside, and new window-screens to keep out the spiders (more of them than mosquitos this time of year). I have a pepper bush, three rosebushes, and right now I have the beginning of an herb garden. I planted seeds in buckets last week and they're happily growing away already, and in a little while they'll go into my flower beds.

The other day I went swimming in the river. I wore an actual bathing suit in front of the villagers--crazy for most PCVs, but I can't say I'm all that self-conscious here. Anyway, it's not like I was skinny-dipping! I played on the sandy riverbank with Hanta's kids and we covered ourselves in sand flecked with mica. As I brushed myself off, the mica clung to my arms and legs and made me look glittery in the glaring sunshine off the water.

In another week or so, Hanta, her kids, and myself are going to be hiking out to another volunteer's site to visit her. It's about 4 hours away, and once I know the road I might take my dog Boo along and go see her on my own. The week after that a different volunteer (he lives out in the boondocks by the lake) is going to come visit and stay with me for the weekend. Other than that it's school and hanging out with townspeople, cooking and cleaning, letter-writing and a lot of thick novels.

Rehefa avy eo, daholo! (Later, everybody)

The capital can be an overwhelming place. The sheer quantity and constancy of pushing, shoving humanity, people waving goods in your face, haggling over something worth $1.50, or even $0.25 in America...it's a unique experience to me. And now that I can speak Malagasy, the fact that I'm a "vazaha" (white person) who is "mahay be teny Malagasy" (a good Malagasy speaker) shocks and stuns just about every Malagasy shopkeeper. I'm famous whenever I go shopping in the street markets, that "mahay be" phrase following me and my friends when we're out and about, spreading up and down the marketplace. It's a good thing to be mahay, and I don't mind the ego boost, or the shock value of Malagasy pouring out of my mouth instead of French.

The school year isn't starting until September 12th, and I'm biding my time until then, fixing up my house and chatting with some cool people in my town. Hanta, for instance, is a single mom who threw out her no-good-drunken-lazy husband and loves talking about how she doesn't need a man, or her sister Ravo, who is a female cop in a precinct (in the capital city, mind you) without the money for either guns or weapons training for their officers. People here continually amaze me with either their grit or generosity or both.

A side note: I'm thinking of raising ducks. Not joking. Everyone here keeps animals and I might as well give it a go. I'm willing to accept suggestions for names here!

...is amazing. I've been in this country for a little over a month now, and I'm having the time of my life, learning Malagasy and staying with a host family. I passed my first language assessment with flying colors, and finished student teaching. Now, all that awaits is a few more weeks of training before I'm an English teacher at my site, Andramasina. It's only an hour or so from the capital, Tana, and close to other Peace Corps Volunteers. I'm putting up my Andramasina address, so send me snail mail if you want to...

Ok, so the GRE is over and I did pretty well, though its usefulness is still in question. I'm also done teaching for Kaplan, so I've been lazing about for a few days, but now I need to get back down to business. I have to clean out all my stuff from my house here and get packed! I'm most of the way there. Yesterday Mervyn's had a sale and I got teacherly polyester dresses that DON'T look like potato sacks for about $20 each. They should be breathable and durable.

There's still so much to get done before I leave...

I'm trying to finish the last things I have to do, but I feel so anxious and exhausted all the time. I need some kind of kick in the pants so I quit procrastinating! At least I've already done the dentist thing, sold my truck, quit my job, and gotten some of my gear together, but right now I'm studying for the GRE (it's on Tuesday) and I'm realizing I should've started studying much, much sooner.

I think the test is probably just going to be a big, $115 pain in my ass. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing with my life, but at least when I'm done with Peace Corps I'll have this GRE score and I won't have to be dealing with it then if I decide to go to grad school. Not that it's that great dealing with it now, right before I leave, but that's just how the timing worked out. I'm always so anxious about tests, and I feel like my brain's gone soft after so much TanSpa. I'm all out of practice with doing school-related stuff myself, though I've been teaching it for the past 6 weeks.

Can't I just take an IQ test? It'd be so much easier.

Mom just told me something that I found weird and slightly scary.

Apparently, the women in her office building have started opening and closing doors holding paper towels or tissues in their hands. Not just in the bathrooms or something, but the whole building. Everyone is doing this but Mom. When she asked her female co-worker why she was doing that, she replied, "because I saw someone else doing that, and I figured I should, too." No joke. And this co-worker is well into middle age, a bit too old for the "if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?" rhetoric. People can be such sheep!

Wouldn't that make an interesting story? It reminds me of articles I read about mysterious post 9/11 mystery rashes, which spread among girls at middle and elementary schools throughout the country around the time of the Anthrax scare. Girls would all start itching and break out in these rashes, which would disappear the moment they left school, and none were ever found to have any pathogenic origins. It was a contagious neurosis, a psychosomatic reaction to the paranoid attitudes of their parents and teachers at the time. Strange.

Today the Peace Corps sent me my staging packet, and my leave date had changed. I'm now scheduled to leave for my staging in Philadelphia, PA on June 12th. They're putting us up in the Sheraton for all of our pre-training orientation stuff. That means there are 6 more days I have in-country to get ready for this adventure!

I got to see Molly today and catch up. I haven't seen the girl in a year, not since her Lake Ovid crew race. She is looking amazingly svelte and is graduating in the fall from Michigan, one year behind me, which means she rules, since she was a year behind me in high school. She, like me, has no idea what she wants to do; and unlike me, she wants to do that at Oxford. Hey, go for it.

I am the food-master!! E's birthday dinner was great last night, consisting of Thai-noodle stir fry and crunchy Napa cabbage salad, along with a peanut butter and chocolate extravaganza. The cake, ice cream, and Magic Shell were all Reese's. Matching is very important.

Heard some more about B today from Jess. It seems he understands where I was coming from and is happy that he and I are still friends, but he also seems to be hiding that he digs me and is rather disappointed that I'm leaving. Well, I'll come back eventually, and we can still be friends when I do.

Someone else, on the other hand, is a loser and I'm not going to hang out with him so I can hear him whine. He's so incredibly LAME! *whine* I wish I could finish school. Your Dad pays for everything; you just don't ever feel like going to class, though you quite often feel like playing video games and RPGs and whatever else. *whine* I wish I had a better job. Then quit working at McDonald's, where you have worked for the past gazillion years, and get a different job. *whine* I wish that this one particular girl from high school would realize that I'm the perfect guy for her. Not gonna happen, buddy. Plus she's mean to you. HIGH SCHOOL ENDED A LONG TIME AGO. Sorry, I just find his helpless stagnation really irritating.

Special events run-down:

Sharla's Birthday

Zora's Birthday

Parents' Wedding

My Dad's Birthday

MSU Graduation

Mother's Day

Sherry's Birthday

Eric's Birthday

This is all in a span of two weeks, mind you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and/or CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL.

In other news, I am destined to only be desirable to men when or because I am wholly unattainable. That and "The WOMAN Test" is ranked #6 on OKCupid. Rock!

I've been reading more about Madagascar over the past few days while I'm at work, since it's been so slow there. Lately I've been reading the most about the infamous bush taxis, or "taxi-brousses." They're basically old Peugeot vans with bench seats that are super-janky, though lately they've been improving. The older, beat-up ones tend to have a hard time in the hills, which is too bad since Madagascar is basically one big mountain in the sea. To get to another town, you get in one of these taxis early in the morning and wait for it to have enough passengers to get going--sometimes that will take the whole day! The driver might drive around town looking for more riders, even harassing people to get in. Drivers stop a lot and pretty randomly, even when not broken-down ("en panne"), sometimes just to buy fruit from roadside stands and even on their own errands, such as a visit to the doctor. Seems kind of like what I saw down in Mexico, where old repainted school buses careened all over the highways, picking up passengers who ran across 4 lanes of traffic just to get on.

I caved and bought gear at REI. Ok, so it was a gift certificate and I would've wasted it if I didn't spend it!

1. The North Face Easy Rider +40 Sleeping Bag - Regular - '04 Closeout (A warm-weather sleeping bag that should do well even in Madagascar's winter, which gets down to about 40 degrees)

2. Therm-a-Rest Trail Sleeping Pad - Regular SAGE 20X72 (required per PC packing guidelines)

3. Princeton Tec Matrix LED Headlamp - Closeout (a headlamp is a reading light, cooking light, and where-the-fuck-is-the-latrine light)

4. Cocoon CoolMax Travel Sheet BLUE MAX 86 X 33 (a sleeping bag liner or bag by itself for hot, balmy nights. Made of wicking fabric. Who can sleep when they're sweaty?)

I have determined that I want to take an MP3 player with me to the Peace Corps. That way, it's small enough to be put away out of sight (and the way of pickpockets' fingers) and I can cram in 2 years' worth of music without the added heaviness or value of my CDs. I figure I'll need about 1 GB for that. Then, I'm deciding that the only stuff I'm bringing is going to have to run on AA batteries. They're the easiest to find in the region where I'm going. After diligent research, I found the iAudio G3 runs on 1 AA and gets about 35-50 hours of play! It's tiny and inaudacious and should be durable enough to survive Madagascar. I can also get a cheap charger for AA NiMH batteries that's solar powered, but I'm debating that.

In other news, the SAT class is going well. The students seem to get it, and I'm taking a perverse pleasure in teaching this class--I have ALL the test answers! I am god-like! Ok, the students have them all, too, which makes me much less cool.

Well, the wedding hubbub is pretty much over, and all I have to show for it is this stomach full of cake...the freaky snowstorm this weekend didn't ruin anyone's fun, at least, and today all traces of it vanished.

Mom made a beautiful bride, and I cried a lot. Now I have 7 official step-siblings and I love them all! Sarah was telling me how she didn't want me to leave now, which was so cute. Everyone was so sweet to me yesterday and I really felt like a part of the family, which is what I've always wanted.

It's hard to describe my feelings about our officially blended family. We've all been together on those big holidays for a couple of years now, but the actual wedding ceremony itself really made me feel different about the whole thing. I felt a kind of relief, not just the resolution to the pre-wedding anxieties and excitement, but a relief that I've come out of my past with my own parents and my dismal relationship with my dad. I've got a great relationship with my step-dad, and I'm so glad that he's there to take care of my mom and treat her the way she deserves to be. It's cute!!

Meanwhile, my non-relationship with my dad persists. I have this fantasy where I take off for Africa and don't tell him where I am--he just gets his emails bounced back to his inbox. Everyone advises me to keep up some kind of communication with him, regardless of the fact that I don't want to and don't get anything out of it. He keeps emailing me about basketball, and how the dog is cute. It's not my dog! I DON'T LIKE BASKETBALL!! (*for the millionth time*) He has no idea how to relate to me, and I'm supposed to give him credit for trying, but why? I would rather people not tell me what to do and let me live with my regrets when he's dead.

I thought taking exams sucked, but I have to admit--proctoring is no picnic, either. Sure, I'm not taking the actual test, but I have to sit there and stare at my little egg timer for a mind-numbing 4 1/2 hours! Every 5 minutes I pace the aisles looking at test booklets to make sure everyone's working on what they're supposed to, and I have to be strict because, hey, the real proctors on the real test day will probably be withered old ladies who are more strict than I am.

I skimmed the new books I got at Barnes and Noble while I was waiting, glancing up almost constantly, but I was reading about malaria and worms that tunnel into your skin and suddenly wished I had something else to read. Those poor kids, though. They were all so exhausted by the time the whole test was over with. It definitely makes sense to have them practice, because the dang thing is like running a marathon--you have to build up your endurance so you can concentrate for all of that time! Man, by the end of it they couldn't even laugh, which made me feel old and lame. Teenagers. Sheesh!

And a note to Sharla: Get Well Soon! Take it easy!

I've been reading so much on Madagascar and my head feels so full...oy. The winner of the pool we had on where I'm going, Edie, gave me a big gift certificate to Schuler's, so I might as well pick up a few books, like that fancy waterproof pocket French-English dictionary I've been eyeing.

Mom is so cute. She called me at work and told me she'd already looked up how much it would be to come and visit, routing her trip through Reunion Island so it'd be cheaper, etc. etc. So...I leave for staging in 2 months. In the meantime I have to get all my gear together, sell my truck, get my finances and happy student loans in order, and a ton of other things. The master list I have going is pretty long.

I'm so emotional over taking this step and accepting my assignment. I'm not taking anything lightly. Here's what's been going through my head...

Pros: Get to do more of what I already like doing (teaching ESL), meet new people, new culture, get to learn a new language, adventure, travel, live in a warm place, time to learn about myself, put my degree to use, grow a ton as a person, no ways to hear about celebrities every 5 seconds, LIFE EXPERIENCE.

Cons: Very real dangers to my personal self (safety- and health-wise), not being around for my family and those new baby nieces, missing people horribly.

I've weighed these so many times already, but the truth is that I'm afraid. I've been playing it really safe in terms of my surroundings and relationships for so long that I've gotten pretty comfortable. Going off to college in NH brought up so many problems I hadn't faced and such bad homesickness that I'm worried about that happening again. The truth is, that was 3 years ago, and I've faced a lot of things, all except for the one BIG thing.

I'm still afraid of growing up.

Since I'm speaking just in terms of maturity, what's so bad about it? What's so goddamn scary? I keep avoiding it, and yet I've made a conscious decision that I want to be an adult, that I would rather be and FEEL in charge of my own destiny than start floating around hoping for something to come along and tell me what to do. I don't want my motivations to be arrogant or ignorant like they've been in the past, like when I wanted to go to Dartmouth because I thought that's where all the smart people were. I guess I'm wondering...am I the same little fool I was then???

MADAGASCAR!! Yay! My invitation kit came today and that's what they say my assignment is. I'm going to go look through all of it now.

The last few days have just dragged by. The weird stomach bug didn't leave; the sneaky bastard just made me think it did until I tried to eat. Then...up it came. *sigh* Back to toast, I guess. The combination of being sick, still going to work, and waiting on my PC invitation is so not fun. Nothing yet!

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.

Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.Your date match profile:

Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.

Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal

2. Big-Hearted

3. Intellectual

4. Adventurous

5. Practical

6. Stylish

7. Wealthy/Ambitious

8. Outgoing

9. Sensual

10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Practical

2. Outgoing

3. Big-Hearted

4. Adventurous

5. Intellectual

6. Wealthy/Ambitious

7. Stylish

8. Romantic

9. Funny

10. Traditional

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions