A weather report: the sun does in fact still shine occasionally here in Switzerland. Though only for a few hours this morning...it felt wonderful. But weather aside, life here in this neutral, hyper efficient and overly insured nation is lovely right now. I feel like I finally have a healthy rhythm between work, eating, exercise, friends, family and stress. I don't know why I'm always so surprised when everything works out exactly the way it should. Usually, I suppose, because I'm a perfect mess as I stress through everything and then ultimately find the simplest solution and marvel at how I thought it would be so complicated. (though to be fair to myself, the Swiss do make everything INCREDIBLY complex and indecipherable)

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But in 2 weeks Mike will be here and we can finally start a life together in the same place...not only the same country...the same BUILDING! Imagine :D And the fact that we have a house is a miracle of sorts. We'll be spending the next year living in a large old house, as house sitters in a way. The woman who owns the house is in the end stages of suffering from a brain tumor yet her children don't want to take over the house quite yet and thus need someone to live there...a lived-in house is much healthier than one that stands empty...and this one has a HUGE garden that is going to take a lot of work. We're both excited to see if any of our Malawi garden skills will carry over and just as excited to learn about all the trees and plants already in the garden.

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At work, things have also gotten better so that though there are still occasional periods of too little work there are always secretaries on vacation who's places I can fill or reports that I can translate or excel spreadsheets I can create. My contract will expire in November and I'm already on the hunt for a new job...something that will hopefully turn into something more permanent. I had an epiphany of sorts while writing my cover letter, trying to explain my goals. I realized I've been incredibly naive in thinking that some amazing NGO would hire me as an engineer that doesn't know anything, and send me to some far off country to train me and help people that don't have clean drinking water. There is no such NGO. They don't have time or resources to train rooky engineers. They want someone that already knows what they're doing (to the tune of 5-7 years experience). And so that has become my goal. To become that engineer that has that experience so that I can actually help. As of right now, I'd just be a burden.

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This has become my mantra:

"We can never let the chaos and injustice make us so blind with anger that we become part of the problem. Understanding, kindness, compassion and love are the only true revolutionary ideas. When we compromise those, we become what we despise and we lose our humanity."

It’s been surreal moving out of Kalumbu. Yet in a way it’s a relief….it’s all people have been talking about for the last two weeks, so I’m glad that’s finally done. At the same time I ache for the home I’m leaving behind here…the sense of myself I have here. For the last two years I’ve been Madam, Jeanini, who gets water and teachers, and chats with her neighbors and does this silly running thing and makes funny fish faces when kids are struck dumb by her whiteness. And soon I’ll no longer be that same Jeannine. At first I’ll LOVE it…I won’t have to stress about lesson planning or marking or alawys conversing in a 3rd language or deal with annoying people as I run or bike…and I’ll be on a high from being with my family and Mike for twenty four hours a day! But then, shortly, I’ll miss my independence, the thrill of baking something exquisite on fire, the maternalness of my neighbors, the gleeful giggling when the kids come to ask for the soccer ball, the tomato lady stopping by my house and the banana man giving a bunch of bananas even when I wasn’t going to buy any. I finally feel understood here…even though they understand WHY they understant – but they do! And they make allowances for [and I’m sure get amusement from] my bizarre azungu-isms.And now they will have make those allowances for [and get amusement from] someone else! It felt strange giving over my community to someone I hardly knew...even though I knew it was coming - I still wasn't quite ready for it. But she'll be fine and the village will be fine...it will all be fine. That's what I keep telling myself :) Today was a whirlly wind of getting stuff done in town before I head up to Mike's site for some quiet and NO STRESS...getting Chimz all situated with money, school, bank, phone has been ridiculous...I feel like it would be quite the responsibility in the states [to suddenly be a functional parent to a 20 year old] but Malawi just makes everything twice as hard. Like the bank -- apparently his school ID isn't acceptable...so he has to go get to passport photos...then go to this tiny obscure office to request a letter and have them stamp his photos...then take that stuff back to the bank where we can actually open his account. Really? Couldnt they make a bit more difficult? I mean surely they forgot that we also need to track down his birth certificate and his great-great-great-grandfathers original name. But apparently they're letting us off easy :l I was not happy. But for a few days I won't let myself think about it. I can't do anything about any of it -- about Chimz and his future, about my reports, about the electricity at Kalumbu, whether or not our cedar chests will be done and actually get on the plane -- when I'm in Mkuzi...so I won't worry about it. Or I will at least try not to.

Sunday breakfast...

Peach sponge cake :)

Plastic shoes galore...

Clothes anyone?

Tomatoes at the wednesday market...

The mango lady at my market...

Millet, sorghum, dried greens, corn, groundnuts...

Tangerines...they call them manatchesi here

Fabric, fabric, fabric

The secret chitenje market

Animal Transport :)

I apologize for not writing for so long. I guess it’s because it feels like nothing has happened, life is winding down and I have nothing to do. I went from 5 regular classes a day plus 4 hours of external classes a week – to only teaching 2 classes a day. My busy spirit is freaking out! But I’m getting better at being, just being.

As much as I will miss my village, my neighbors, my students – I will not miss the drama of PeaceCorps. Things are changing, administratively and not for the better, and I’m glad to be checking out before there are serious repercussions.

A few weeks ago my girl’s club made their own paper. It was hilarious to watch their competetiveness come out as they tried to beat eachother in ‘paper perfection’.

Running is funny – if I run a different route, the women on the normal route will stop me later in the day and ask ‘Muli bwino? Sindinakuwone ma’mawa – musadathamanga?’ [are you okay? We didn’t see you running this morning!]. I also enjoy hearing ancient women explain to their visiting friends who I am, why I’m wearing trousers and why I’m running around at 5:15 in the morning…as all others are heading out to their fields.

I’m no longer stressing about school…just about everything else: will I leave Kalumbu well, will I say goodbye to everyone that I should, will we be able to get cedar chests, how on earth will we pack everything, will I get fat in America, what do I get everyone for Christmas, will the electricity ever be connected, will Chimwemwe pass his entrance exams…so my mind is not lacking things to worry about.

Random Stuff:

• My previous neighbor’s daughter [6 years old] was kidnapped a few nights ago by witch doctors and taught witchcraft. A few days later they were at the market and the mother was buying herself a skirt when her little girl said “Mum, why are you buying that? You won’t have a chance to wear it.” When her mother asked why, the little girl said “Because I’m going to kill you with a hammer!” Last I heard, they had sent her to stay with her grandmother.

• My house looks emptier and emptier with each trip into town.

• I think I have a worm infection. This is what happens when you teach biology – as you teach all the various diseases and their respective symptoms you become a hypochondriac.

I used to have, in the states, this self-concsiousness about running..that I’d be embarassed, that people would see me. Yup…think I’ve gotten over that. And for the most people are fine about it…just the occassional asshole that ruins everything – oddly most often said assholes are men. Mmmmm. I really don’t mean to always write about my running – it’s just that that’s when all the interesting stuff happens. The other day it looked like I was a chasing a chicken just because the darn organism could figure out that it should veer right or left and so it just ran in front of me screeching for a half mile. Or there’s the random man in the woods that does karate, or the man that wears a hard hat as he’s farming his field by hand.

8 August 2009

Warning: Do not arrive in your village in the dark when there is a chieftainship going on. Mike and I endured 2 very tired kabazas [bike taxis] as we were trying to reach my house before nightfall. But between their tired legs, a broken bicycle fork and an anslaught of Gule Wambkulu...we didn’t make it. The kabazas were nice enough to walk us past the graveyard near my village so that we would be past any Gule nonsense…but that sill left a good 4k to be walked before we got home. I was incredibly grateful that Mike was there! Half dressed men wielding machetes that think they are the reincarnation of wild animals was not my idea of a safe jaunt home in the moonlight. But we made it, all of our limbs machete wound free and neither of us have any need to see any more of this particular part of Malawian culture.

For Erste Auguscht Mike made me Swiss cows and lampions :)

I am back in Lilongwe before heading off to my groups COS [Close of Service] conference at the lake for the next few days. The past week at site was a strange as Mike was there until early Thursday morning and then Ali arrived Thursday afternoon and we came in together this morning. It was a full week of teaching and the like but I am in love with full hour periods for math and biology as I can get through all of the material AND the students have a chance to practice IN CLASS! It was glorious! I also, finally, brought the calculators to class to use for the trigonometry units in Form3 and Form4. The students were flabbergasted to say the least…they were amazed at how easy they were to use. The best part was showing them how the calculator [they call them ‘Scientifics’] can remember the answer they found and they just have to press the “Ans” button in the next operation they do…Ishmael’s face in particular was fabulous. He even came to the office later to congratulate me on my calculators…as though I had invented them. Mmmm.

It’s so strange to think that we only have about 4 months left here in Malawi. We will be the next group of volunteers to go home. We’re all getting a little bit antsy I feel – mostly ready to be finished with teaching and the drama in our villages. I wish I could just sort of sneak out after we close school in November but that wouldn’t fly. Not by a long shot…my neighbors would kill me and hate my replacement if I just left without say goodbye – formally. So, a farewell ceremony has to be planned relatively soon and the proper people invited so that no one is offended or snubbed. That I am NOT looking forward to…as I enjoy nothing more that being pleasantly inconspicuous.

30 June 2009

The last day of June has my fingers and toes numb form cold. I forgot to check the thermometer this morning but I need to buy some closed toed shoes. All day as I wrote notes on the board my fingers would cramp up from cold and my voice would crack from all the dust being whipped up by a cruelly cold wind. It is winter here. I may be less drowsy without the heat and therefore more productive, but I find myself thinking of bed more often…as that is the only place I actually feel warm.

I think I should extend. Not really, but I find myself brimming with ideas now and rapidly running out of time and not wanting to have too many projects happening at the same time. The electricity [thank you to Friends of Malawi] should be installed soon; I am waiting on another proposal for new student toilets and I’m currently helping an organization in Nathenje to get funding for orphan care projects they want to start. Then yesterday I got to thinking about how simple it would be to convert our spare classroom into a library. At present all o our books are shoved into a 3x8ft space, filled with termite gnawed shelves and when the students borrow them they take them home, get them dirty, tear pages or lose them. With an actual room, students would read books THERE and there would be far less damage. Simple simple. But I will wait until after we’ve got working light bulbs in all the classrooms. Then we can start the library.

2 July 2009

The entry into July has been no warmer than the departure from June. As I teach I am reminded of my senior biology class in high school. Dow High’s heating system was ancient, resulting in sauna-like English classes and iceboxes for math and science. I remember the classroom being so cold that we would wear our hats, coats and gloves to class…I even brought a blanket some days to keep my feet and legs warm. It always takes me a minute to figure out why I’m so cold here…even inside. Because across the vast ocean we actually have window panes to prevent wind, insulated walls, carpet and furnaces to blast around warm air.

That reminds me of the Midland house. We had floor vents and early on winter mornings, after showering and getting dressed, I’d erect a blanket tent over the vent in the kitchen and warm myself back up. It’d piss my dad off as he claimed I was hoarding all the heat intended for the entire room. At the Koinonia house in Grand Rapids I’d just perch on the various radiators in the house. Not so much an option here unfortunately.

7 July 2009

We’ve survived two independence days in one weekend – 4th of July for America and 6th July for Malawi, which celebrated 45 years of independence this year. We spent the Saturday [which was chaos at the Lilongwe house] secluded in Blantyre…cooking, watching movies and marking tests…in the quiet. We found an amazing Indian place and made bean burgers for dinner one night [but they weren’t as good as your “Jeannine’s and American Dinner” burgers Hope…how did you make them?]. Then we came back up yesterday…to a slightly less quiet Lilongwe house…without towels, sheets or clean bathrooms with tubs that drain. But there was hot water and that covers any multitude of other amenities in my mind! Today is finishing up proposals, checking in with the office staff, checking mail and email and saying goodbye to Alex who goes back to Kalamazoo today…after his two years in Malawi he heads home this afternoon – to Michigan. And it all seems so much nearer for me…the departure in December. But first I need to survive the end of the second school term. Have I mentioned before how much I loath the end of term?

The true sign of a teacher...flip charts...chalk even all over the feet!!! :)

Early morning rays filter through my 'heating bath water' fire's smoke

Weird fruit thing that I found...thought it looked pretty cool though. Something IKEA designers would use as inspiration for a lampshade!

The garden in various stages of revamping...

17 May 2009

For all those who have ever wondered how this Peace Corps volunteer spends her Sunday mornings, here you go:

I slept in [until 6:30], got the charcoal fire started to heat up water, made crepes with dried cherry syrup [thanks Kari!!!!] and then settled down to some BBC World Have Your Say and painting my fingers and toes.

Stella is forcing me to go to church as I haven’t gone in nearly 3 months. Then Chimwemwe and I are having lunch before our belated Chichewa lesson. Hope he likes pitas!

It’s chilly these days…and dry. We have entered winter season. Thankfully the sun is bright and warm during the day.

For all that were worried, I am out of my funk. A chat with my mother helped…but so did finally getting home. I realized that my students, neighbors didn’t care that I didn’t have the money for the electricity…they were more concerned that I was home. And really, my primary duty here is to teach and be present in my village…and so that’s what I’m doing.

A few days ago, I taught my neighbors, Fanny, Eli and Edinesi how to make paper using only things they already had around their house: basins, bits of fabric, bricks, flour sieves, grassmats. We had a blast and they thought it was extraordinary! I also had to clarify that I didn’t come up with it myself. They thought I was a genius!

18 May 2009

Day before elections here in Malawi, finds me feeling purposeless and frustrated. I was expecting an almost full week of teaching. But yesterday I got a call from the deputy headmaster, that we’d have a holiday till Friday. And I couldn’t even hold holiday classes because students, in anticipation of a break, have gone back to their original homes. Uhg. Thus the purposelessness. And I can’t go anywhere….to town, to Mikes because we are in security hold. Due to the unknown reaction to elections we volunteers are confined to our villages. And so, therein lies the frustration. I’m trying to contact my site mate to see if he is around this week. Though site mate is a loose term…he’s a three hour bike ride away. Either way, I’m taking care of all out of house chores today, so I can just hole up in my house. The last place I want to walk past tomorrow would be the primary school where voting is happening. Part of me wants to see it, but the rational part of me, the part where I understand that I would be an azungu spectacle, that part tells me to stay home!

I took a long walk this afternoon along which I was given ground nuts [well, forced to take them was more like it] by a lovely woman and asked for money by a punkass little kid. But in spite of these distractions I managed to convince myself that sometimes you just have down time – and you just have to deal with it. And it’s no good filing it up with new activities because when life comes back in full force you won’t be able to follow through on those new ventures.

The new cool think to do in my neighborhood if you’re under the age of 5 is to jump up and down, in a rather wild fashion while shouting “Jeanini, Jeanini, Jeanini!” They don’t seem to expect any kind of response, purely for their own amusement.

Oh, and I think I might be out of sunscreen. That might be a problem. Finding some is definitely on the program for tomorrow.

19 May 2009

Good news, found a whole new bottle of sunscreen amidst all the bug spray stuff my family brought with them last year!

Today’s been great – made cake and tea just as Stella arrived, so we had tea together. Very Malawian. Then there was the neighborhood trip to the well – with election banter all along the way. Getting back after my second trip, my pizza dough was ready, so I started baking and then made cheese. And so I am having tomato ricotta pizza for lunch.

And I also made use of my eaten pumpkin shells by spray painting them and using them as storage containers.

21 May 2009

I am bike home after what Mike has coined my ‘Tour de Kalumbu’. I went to visit my site mates, and though I am no gauge of distance, it took me three hours with only one short pause to chat with one of my student’s parents. And no rubbery legs!!!! I was able to meet new students, especially the two that live with Brian, my nearest azungu neighbor. His two boys are great, funny and full of questions. With his student housemates and ‘maleness’ we decided it would be less scandalous if I spent the night at Salima’s house – about 3 minutes further along the road and she has electricity and even get VOA on her radio. So we prepped dinner as we listened to Larry London taking requests from around the world.

25 May 2009

Today there was another mysterious chair disappearance at school, leaving me and another teacher to flip a desk over on its side and share a perch as we marked papers. It was an interesting study in balance as when either of us shifted or got up the desk tipped precariously.

I’m averaging 3 books every week right now. I just finished JapanLand. It was a good culture study; as a foreigner trying to understand another. Though, I kiss the ground that my host family was NOTHING like this woman’s in Japan! Now I’m reading a book about a Peace Corps murder; one volunteer stabbed another to death in Tongo in the mid 1970’s called American Taboo. I’ve just started but it’s making me think about Peace Corps policy and institutional structure.

A random list for you:

Things I Oddly Like Here

Lots of salt on my food [it’s a craving many of us have developed here]

Cooked pumpkin

Beans [brown, white, yellow, red…]

Greens

Overly ripe, brown spotted bananas

Guavas, seeds and all

Oh, and I found a German Shortwave radio station. It’s only on in the evening…and only scratchily at that…but it’s a nice escape. Only I can understand it…the only one in my village. It’s a nice invisible feeling

Our staging director in Philly almost two years ago, casually mentioned that many volunteers miss all the attention when they come home. I will not be one of them. However, I feel that we will seem rather egotistical for a while; for this reason: here, when there’s a sudden outburst, discussion or explosion of laughter, I assume it’s because of me or because of something I have done…usually the assumption is right. However, back stateside, the assumption will most likely be wrong and we will look self-absorbed. Unless, of course, I’m carrying my groceries home on my head.

26 May 2009

A week since elections and the previous president, Bingu wa Mutharika, will get another 5 years. Everyone is happy, except the one opposition leader who is trying to prove rigging. Though, no one is paying him much attention…including his own Press Secretary, who was then fired. Whoops.

A not about jealousy: I don’t know the situation in other African countries, but Malawians cultivate an amazing degree of jealousy. People are openly jealous when things go well for someone else, they will go to the witch doctor to cures them, they will sabotage their own family members that excel in school. One of the teachers at school has singled out my three students, waiting for them to trip up and then unfairly punishes them. He doesn’t even have a child of an age to be in their place and get my ‘favour’. On what grounds is he jealous? I will never understand.

4 June 2009

I am now the proud owner of a flashy new Nalgene bottle [thank you to a lovely set of parents in Wyoming…and see, Mami…not everyone is freaking out about this plastics thing!]

This is what I love about being at site for extended periods of time – the days all begin to bleed together a bit. Did I see the crazy old man while I was running yesterday…or last week? Did I really run 4km this morning because I accidentally left Form1’s biology tests at my house and so had to run back to get them? Feels like yesterday!

Though some days do not bleed. Saturday, 30 May 2009 will not bleed into the mass of days that I have spent in Malawi. It will remain apart. My first Malawian friend, my age mate, my connection into the community when I first got here…died that day. It felt bizarre – even now – as though it didn’t really happen; especially as the funeral didn’t take place here but at the family’s original home. For the first part of this week I was beginning to think that a curse had been put on Kalumbu – a neighbor dies, the staffroom at school collapses, the headmaster’s son went missing, crazy old men freaking me out, massive construction vehicles permanently saturating the air with red dust. That last bit has been a source of amusement [at least for me]. Either because of my being an engineer or because in the states there’s always some construction going on…I would consider myself relatively used to dump trucks and diggers and rollers and then like. Yet my village is constantly pointing them out to me as though I’d respond ‘Oh, gee…that MASSIVE dump truck over there? Nope, I hadn’t even noticed that one!” Seriously?! But joking aside, so we will have a flat, though still dirt, road, free of rocks and 2ft ravines from rain flow. Biking will be much more pleasant. As soon as all the dust settles again.

5 June 2009

Finally Friday! I desperately need a weekend: external classes, weird Form1 girls that follow me home, stoned students that mouth off in class! So I decided NOT to have Girl’s Study Group and instead went home and shelled ground nuts as I listened to BBC. Then it was reading time, run, plan dinner and chat with Stella. The Swiss plan may be on the fritz for the moment; I’ve made some discoveries about insurance policies and general cost of living [plates of pasta equivalent to $20!!]. Thinking about the ‘real world’ is stressful! Thinking about finding an apartment [my house here was found for me and my landlord is my neighbor], medical insurance [though I am many many kilometers away from the nearest clinic, I can call either of our wonderful PC doctors anytime…with any strange symptoms] and just thinking about driving freaks me out! For 2 years now, the largest vehicle I’ve been in charge of has been my bicycle.

20 June 2009

And back in town and thus ends this marathon of a blog entry. Leaving work for Thursday and Friday’s classes I headed out on Wednesday after class to visit Mike and then back into Lilongwe to finish up work before going home [note: home = Kalumbu village, ja]. It was ridiculously COLD at his site…and windy and cloudy! Brrrrr! Sweaters, hats and mittens were involved on my part if that gives you an impression. And I am now intimately acquainted with the construction techniques and operation of Groundnut Shellers!

And for you, Mamili ...

I'm in a funk. And I don't know what to do about it. I talked with my supervisor yesterday...and by 'talk' I mean blubbered tearfully about the funk I am in while she hugged me and listened. Definition of "The Funk" -- a feeling of not wanting to go back to my village, deep seeded not wanting to go back. And it's a new feeling for me. Of course I always have feelings of trepidation when it's time to leave the city and head home to the village: I'm sad to leave people whose company I enjoy, I'm sad to leave warm showers and the oven, and I dread the 10km uphill bike ride that is required to get me to my house. But these past days it's felt different. I really don't want to go home. Thankfully Dora [my APCD...Associate Peace Corps Country Director -- we do love our acronyms] also functions as therapist. Together we figured out that my 'funk' is due to this proposal nonesense. Subconsciously I don't want to go home until I have money in my hand so that we can start this electrification of the school. And so I am still in a funk. In addition...we have a holiday on Thursday which isn't helping my motivation for getting home in a speedy manner. Damn.

I have potatoes. I had potatoes would be more correct. Six tiny potatoes. Last week Chimwemwe and Isaac helped me clear out three small beds in which the beans, peanuts and beans had ‘matured’ and were ready to be, either harvested or composted. I had finished harvesting my tomatoes…probably about 50 in all. And I had used all the beans as green beans, so there were none remaining. But the potatoes had stayed hidden underground…until my students nimble fingers dug them out. So I boiled them and put some margarine and basil on them…and considered it a delicacy.

Laura visited my site last week and it was interesting to again compare our experiences. We visited each other before, although that was in the very beginning of our stay in Malawi. It was great to have her come after more than a year at site…to hear her perspective on my village, my students, neighbors, headmaster, bike taxis. I get so ingrained in Kalumbu that I find it hard to remember that different parts of Malawi are in fact – different. Imagine. Laura’s village is far more connected to her nearest city than mine, at least in terms of her students’ behaviour and fashion sense. If a girl gets pregnant, she won’t marry the father of the baby, because he’s the one that got her pregnant. In Kalumbu, the two will immediately be married…as to not have the child born out of wedlock. Just two examples.

As I left this morning, I was constantly asked IF I was coming back. Everyone thought I was going home to America…and wasn’t coming back. No, I explained – I’ve just paid rent, we transplanted tomatoes, I’m still waiting for my passion fruit vine to flower. If that thing doesn’t flower before I leave in December I may seriously consider extending my contract here! And yesterday Chimwemwe broke my heart. We were having our Wednesday afternoon Chichewa lesson and were discussing our “Get Chimwemwe into a Better Secondary School” Project that the two of us are working on…when he said that he was glad that he wasn’t selected straight out of Primary school to go away to a government secondary school because than “I would not have met you, madam.” And now I can only hope and pray I will not let him down as we fight to get him into a school with more teachers, resources, knowledge to give.

10 April 2009

Back from Dedza. Our supervisor asked for some 2nd year volunteers to lead subject discussions for the 1st years at their 3 month mark today. But thanks to lack of communication among Peace Corps staff regarding transport I actually missed my session – and had it over lunch instead. It was strange, being the ‘expert’. And refreshing to hear about their ideas and struggles…it breathed enthusiasm into the coming second term that I’ve been dreading a bit for its intensity.

Tomorrow I begin on my first camping excursion…that doesn’t consist of pitching a tent in the backyard. We head to Mzuzu tomorrow and have Saturday and Sunday to buy ‘camping food’ before we spend 3 days hiking out to the beach. Wish me luck!!!

21 April 2009

We are back in Lilongwe. Whew. Jeannine’s First Camping Experience wasn’t as tramatic as she thought it would be. Though her ass did hurt a lot more than she ever thought possible! But oddly enough I was thankful for it because it meant that my shoulders weren’t weighed down by my pack. I can thank Mike’s hiking pack intelligence for that tidbit of information. But so my hips were bearing the weight…and giving my tush a lovely workout ☺. But after the first day of hiking the walking motion was automatic and I could move together with the pack [by the time I leave Malawi, we will be ONE] up and over rocky hills and along narrow precipices, crossing questionably constructed bridges and fording deep fast moving rivers. And all along we had Lake Malawi on our left, which made for some amazing views from the tips of the bays we hiked around. We managed the hike in two days and a few extra hours. And Ruarwe was beautiful; a restful sanctuary with comfy chairs to read in and the lake to jump into from various rocks when we wanted to cool off from sunbathing. Dinner was served family style…which made the individual activities of the day seem more communal, homemade and lit by lanterns.

To get back out of our secluded oasis, we were rowed out of the bay in a dingy to the Ilala, one of the boats that ferries passengers up and down the lake. We traveled from Ruarwe to Nkhata Bay – took about four hours, and made the trip seem so much simpler than the hike in; oddly enough. And that was the end of ‘vacation’. Lilongwe is ridiculous this week due to a new group being sworn in…meaning half of Peace Corps Malawi is attempting to sleep at the house. We are escaping tomorrow morning. As early as possible, to avoid the chaos and then coming back in Friday to get office work done, pack up stuff, say goodbye to a volunteer that’s going home and celebrating the birthday of another. And then it is back to site, for the start of Term 2. Hurrah. Truly, I will be happy to have some normal structure back to life here; to be at school, to have students at my house, to chat with my neighbors that I haven’t seen in two weeks. So life moves on.

Funny story for April ☺

In Malawi there are these wonderful inventions called rubbish pits in the cities so that all the trash on the streets can be swept into these 6foot deep trenches. We like to call them Azungu Traps…as we are always wary of them as we walk along the road. Walking home from dinner last week in Mzuzu [in the dark] makes the journey a tad more precarious. And thus I found myself floating briefly in mid-air before plummeting to bottom of a very deep Azungu trap…complete with concrete box at the bottom. Thankfully the only injuries were a lovely bruise on my ass, a scraped ankle and a disoriented head for a bit. So, when in Malawi, if your wandering about in the dark [which you shouldn’t be doing anyway] keep an eye out for deep holes!

So spending too much time in town has given me too much time on the computer...and thus to much time to play around with my pictures... hope you like them :)

I’m in town restocking on antibiotics…to make sure I have some at site in the event of another spontaneous infection. Ah, the joys of rural village life. And I have decided to stay an extra day [until Sunday] as I need a mental health day. School has been rather dramatic the past few weeks…with end of term exams, one of my favourite students being suspended for 6 weeks because the deputy head teacher was in a drunken rage, a form 1 girl fainting from epilepsy she refuses to have treated because she is a member of the Zion Church…and they don’t believe in modern medicine, and lastly, a form 4 student was beat about the head by a from 1 student wielding 2 bricks. Blood is always a poignant reminder of the precarious nature of first aid in this world I live in…I had to have him wipe his own face because I had no gloves and several open cuts and wounds on my hands. And I really didn’t want to have to take the PEP [Post Exposure Prophylactic]…the side effects are horrendous. And so life moves along here.

I have lived my way into Kalumbu village: the neighborhood kids no longer find me amusing – and hang out but not just to stare at me or hassle me for stuff; there are two adorable little girls that demurely greet me as I walk to market which then somehow makes the drunken men that assault me later more bearable; Stella, Isaac and Chimwemwe [students whose school fees I’m paying] are at my house nearly every day – to chat, or get water, or fix the fence, or build drying racks together or bring me greetings from their various relations; my neighbors are already panicking about my eminent departure in December [“Koma, tamakusolowerani panopa, madam! Mwina munthu kuti adzabwera kunoku…mwina munthu adzakhala umunthu sabwino! Mwina sadzalankula Chichewa!” – But Madam, we are used to YOU now! Maybe this new one that will come, maybe they will not be a good person. Maybe they will not speak Chichewa!]. For a people that rarely think far ahead in the future, this has certainly captured their attention. So, I am working on them – encouraging them by ensuring them that the next volunteer will also speak Chichewa and be friendly and will chat with them and will help the students. And I have come to understand that time is not my own: that visitors will always show up on the afternoon that I have an insane migraine, that it will always rain ten minutes after I hang my laundry and that I will always be 2 hours early to meetings - even if by my watch I am 20 minutes late. I have learnt patience.

We are closing term1 soon…which means holiday! Yahoo! We are spending time hiking and at the beach…a quiet reprieve. But I am so very happy here, in my life here. Though it does come in waves, I feel truly at home here. I feel safe and protected and loved by my neighbors. I feel valued by my fellow teachers. I feel respected and appreciated by my students [most of the time…]. I have a splendid garden with passion fruit vines spreading, mango tree seedlings sprouting, pumpkins, squash, tomatoes and maize ready to harvest as the rains begin to come to end and the cold season moves in.

I had some time in Lilongwe...and there wasn't a line for the computer...so here are some of my latest pictures, creatively spread :)

7 February 2009

All those I know who consider nicotine one of their vices...today I aided in furthering your habit by helping my neighbors sew up their tobacco leaves. Four leaves back to back, poked through and tied together with grass then hung to dry. As this is the rainy season and the leaves can't dry directly in the sun, sheds of bamboo, grass and thin plastic tarp are constructed. So, for two hours, this afternoon we sat under drying leaves, out of the glare of the sun, shooing chickens, sorting yellow from green [as yellow will dry faster]. At one point in our conversation one of the family...my Form1 bioligy student...made a connection between sorting tobacco and relationships in biology. May have been one of the better moments of my day.

Another was on my way home from the market...walking precariously through a herd of grass munching cattle [why do I always feel like one is going to charge at me?]. What is it about Malawians that they think I can't hear them when they talk about me? Walking behind me was a group of women....only one of whom lived in Kalumbu. As I greeted a man walking by - this is what I heard behind me:

"Oooo...amati 'Mwaswera'?"

"Eya...amadziwa Chichewa."

"Amakhoza Chichewa?"

"Eti...emalunkula bwino bwino. Amakhala pa Land...amasesa, amatunga madzi, amaphika pa moto...."

"Amatunga madzi?????"

"Eya!"

OR:

"WHAT!?!?!She knows how to say 'how are you'?"

"Yeah, she knows Chichewa!"

"She knows how to speak Chichewa?!?!?!?!"

"Of course, she speaks well. She lives at the EPA...and sweeps, gets water, cooks on fire..."

"She gets water?!"

"Yes!"

And of course I can hear all this and am trying not to laugh! And in other good news, my compost is actually doing its job -- making SOIL!!!!

10 February 2009

I've always had this habit of writing lists [remember all my papers and postits Hopee!?]. I wrote to do lists and grocery lists and packing lists. But now they've expanded...it's how I spend my time at school when I'm waiting for teachers or students to show up. I've written lists about Places I want to Go, Things About Kalumbu, Things to Do in Swizterland If I Lived There....Clothes I Would Get If I Were Back in a Developed Country. Germany with Rebecca didn't help my clothes/shoes fetish :) So many nice - yet immpractical for Malawi - clothes. And I am missing witner coats and sleek jeans tucked into boots, and hats and mittens and scarves :(

Soemthing to make you all smile: As part of my daily exercise routine I've been shakin' it to my iPod every night...in my slip! I don't know how it started. Slips in Malawi are worn even on the hottest days under already OPAGUE skirts...I will never understand. But for my more questionable skirts I own a long black slip and that is my dancing costume. It's funny becuase -- after I got back to Malawi my Grandmother passed away...and one of my most vivid memories of my Grandmother is how she would walk around, our house in the states or her apartment in Switzerland, with a normal shirt, beige stockings and a knee length black slip. I don't remember he dancing...but I consider my evening ritual a tribute to her :)

It's strange to think that my life here all started back in Uganda trying to figure out a way to combine development with engineering. And then the crazy process it took to actually get here! I had to become a citizen...for which I spent many cellphone minutes chatting up the Department of Homeland Security and Immigration Services -- which apparently are incapable of communicating directly with each other...or the FBI, in the small matter of fingerprint sharing! Then there was becoming an official American, going to Philly and then training in Malawi! That all seems so long ago and so very far away. Will I ever fit back into that life I left in Houston? Or should I try it somewhere else? I don't know if I could live the way I do right now..without being married or having a family...so that I would have that internal support structure that feels so distant right now. Rebecca has commanded that I be home for Christmas...so I will be...but after that I may be packing my bags again! But where? Doing what? I have ideas but those will be my little secret for now :) Happy guessing!

30 January 2009

When I post this it will already be February. Which means the count down has started in a way [10 months]; my neighbros are already stressing out about the potential 'replacement' volunteer and the teachers at school are freaking out about what they'll do without a maths teacher. And everyone is worried that I'll forget them...not realizing how impossible that will be. They are my life here.

But as I write this I am huddled back in my house...had been lesson planning on my front porch watching the drizzle, but the drizzle has become a full on down pour making the porch a bit wet for my taste. Not that inside is much drier - for two reasons: my roof is up to 8 leaks now and I took the risk of doing my laundry this morning and of course 30 minutes after getting it all hung, the rain started. So all those wet clothes are hanging in various parts of the house...and might be dry in a week.

The rainy season is lonely for me. Last year I would have been thrilled with all this rain because it equals alone time. Now I'm just lonely. So it makes kids, neighbors, students visiting all the more welcome. I feel as though something has clicked in me...as though some sort of fog has finally lifted; one I've been under for the last 23 years. I feel free and happy in a way that I never have before. I am less stress about my life [though I should be freaking out with the amount I am teaching]. I am more open with my life, lest bent on controlling how my day moves, I'm less afraid of messing up...or letting people see that I'm making mistakes. I truly don't know what brought about this change but I am joyfully content with my life right now. Does that make any sense?

The most wonderful thing happened yesterday. One of my Form4 students, bit of a smart-ass really, came to my house with a boy I didn't recognize and handed me my graphing calculator...that I had last seen when I left school the day before, sitting iside my desk in the "staff room" [aka leaky closet being digested by very determined termites!]. I took it from him and sure enough there was the 'J.Keller' that my father had engraved on the back when he bought it for my senior calculus class in highschool. I looked at my student in confusion and so he explained taht this boy, his friend, had shown him his 'new' calculator that he had bought off of some little kids for 100mK. My student had seen 'Keller' and gathered that there weren't too many of those wandering around Kalumbu! I thanked them both purfusely and paid the boy his money back...amused that a graphing calculator was sold for less than 60cents.

In other good news my garden is beautiful! And i have grass...I convinced Chimwemwe to NOT pull it all up so that he could sweep properly...that snakes would not move in. I have plenty of pumpkin flowers [that I made soup out of], peanuts, soya beans, maize, basil and dill. The buld flowers we planted last year are now taller that me! And attract this adorable little hummingbird every morning.

5 February 2009

Termites flew today, littering the mud with thier glittering wings and filling the road with children gathering them up for dinner. Cows served as grass trimmers as they ate their way along the road. And the sun shone in blazing glory after an afternoon rain. Life is ever changing here: we have tea in our staff room now, which means that teachers are even later to class. Hambe, my 10 year old neighber, has gone to live with her sister, changing forever the child level heirarchy in the neighborhood. I have a squash growing...and it looks healthy. The tomato man gives me a prizey and sometimes a woman walks by my house yelling "MATI, MATI, MATI" and so I get my tomatoes even cheaper! I have fallen in love with tea again and am learning to like running. The goats are tethered now to prevent them from eating peoples' crops, so they no longer fatten themselves in my garden. And so the days go by....

Rebecca and I arrived in Munich with only minor public transport difficulties - we are now experts :) Actually we just walk everywhere. Yesterday we did our shopping [which is fun when you have 8 layers on and want to head to changing rooms]. The motivation to buy anything that involved boot or trouser removal decreases significantly.

Today, being Sunday, nothing was open [save coffee shops which we made good use of]. So we did sightseeing a bit. We hiked up to the top of St. Peter's Church tower, 306 steps in all, and because the sun was actually poking out today the view was lovely. Of course before we found the right church we nearly disrupted 2 other church services. Whoops. Then we attempted to find the palace but found the Munich Stadts Museum instead and Rebecca humoured me for a bit [plus it was free today!]. Then it was off to coffee and an attempt to find a tattoo studio -- but EVERYTHING is closed. So now we are on the hunt for one tomorrow morning. Uhg.

Things I found suprising here:

- Women wear GOBS of makeup -- more than I think was 'normal' in the states before I left.

- People all walk the same speed I do :)

- The amount of stuff you can buy is insane

- People in stores are remarkably unfriendly given the fact that I am spending money to give them...they could at least crack a smile.

Things I will miss:

- Thick toilet paper

- Really good coffee

- Racclette

- Hazelnut joghurt

I know they're small...but I'm slowly working on updating my pictures with the amazingly speedy internet my sister has. Gosh, I will miss that as I write letters while I wait for sites to load in the office in Lilongwe :P

So, for more pictures:

Switzerland and Germany Christmas Trip

CampSky 2008

I just wanted to show you this...and I think I might be trying to make them in Germany next week!

How amazing do they look!!!

It took a fwe days to get back settled in Kalumbu after 3weeks away; there were numerous factours not aiding my resettlement: this feeling of detatchment as I'm leaving again in less than two days and the fact that it's the start of the rainy season and this was when I first got to site a year ago and my house feels so desolate and all of my feelings of lonliness from the previous year resurfaced. Ah, nostalgia. But then I saw how clearly I AM NOT in that same place. This is my life here, it's mine and I fit. I know exactly how long it takes my water to boil [both on open fire and charcoal], I can make ridges with a hoe and not get blisters anymore [well, at least not ginormous ones], I can haul 50L of water, I have a compost that's doing it's job, I have a REAL garden [as in it's actually growing], I know where to find bricks and how to get them to my house, I know which of the two tailors will cheat me and which baker has the better scones. I know the mango lady will always give me a prizey mango and I have perfected the 'get the fuck out of my yard' whistle that the chickens here understand. I have also come to love and appreciate my neighbors immeasurably [and naturally I show my love in baked goods :)]. I used to be rather terrified of them.

And I think they may like me a little bit too. As I came back last week I was met by a neighbor as I was still a little ways off and he informed me that 'chinali chimphepho! Mpanda inagwa, denga pa chimbudzi ujoka!'...or...'We had a HUGE wind and your fence collapsed and the roof on your pit latrine blew away!'. By this time we had gotten to where I could almost see my house and I'm having visions of utter devestation...but no, everything is pristine -- my fence is upright and strong and the roof is sturdily in place, albeit with a couple more heavy boulders sitting on top. I looked at my neighbor questioningly and he bashfully ducked his head as he told me they had set the roof right and his younger brother [my former F4 student] was almost finished repairing the fence. Actions speak far louder than words...anyone?

So, the past week has been strange -- being in the village but not teaching or prepping for teaching or stressing out about teaching! I could just weed and replant my garden [no small feat]. Thankfully another neighbor made me a few ridges adjacent to his field so I have planted soya beans and then most wonderful zama. For zama, imaging a peanut plus bean all in one fabulous legume! I've planted more dill, basil and chive; broccoli, onions, lettuce, watermelon, yellow corn, squash, tomatoes and ground nuts. Oh, and pumpkins. I'm excited to get back in January!

I've been walking and biking around and chatting with those I haven't seen in a while. I rode to my BOMA [the nearest trading center] to see my headmaster's family; one morning I inadvertantly rode my bike right into a student's village, so that couldn't be helped. I've met with my new Chichewa 'tutor' [aka Chimwemwe, F2 student] to work on my presntly stagnant language, worked on letters, christmas suprises, a windchime, general cleaning and organizing, baking brownies for the neighbors and then delivering them :) And I was home.

Random Kalumbu Occurances:

1. I found a tarantula living under my firewood pile and a black momba in my bean field.

2. A woman I've never seen at the borehole before was repimanded by one of the regulars for not believing that I was capable of getting my bucket home. Pretty sure she watched me until I crested the hill!

3. Children standing open-mouthed as I ran by on my early morning jog in....oh, goodness...TROUSERS!

4. Learning how to use the gears on my bicycle properly!

23 November 2008

And CampSky is officially finished – all the kids and volunteers left Zomba yesterday, heading back to their respective parts of the country. Well, at least the kids – all the volunteers spent the afternoon at the ambassador’s cottage up on the plateau and then drove to Blantyre. It was possibly one of the more interesting matola rides I’ve been on…sitting on the back of a flat bed truck for two hours perched precariously on various bits of luggage, stopping for plums and jackfruit along the way.

Some favourites from Camp:

- One of the volunteers was teaching English and had the kids write similes about their other camp teachers; here are some of mine:

Madame Keller is as intelligent as a boy. [wasn’t sure how to take that one..?]

Madame Keller is as bright as a sunflower.

Madame Keller is as shiny as the sun.

Madame Keller is as kind as a horse. [also this one…are horses kind?]

- In class I randomly taught the kids that in the States we say ‘Bless You’ when someone sneezes – and later that day when I was tutoring one of them in maths and I sneezed, she said ‘Madame, Bless you’, which I thought was really cute.

- The students chanting ‘Madame Keller! Dah, ta, ta, ta, ta! Coming from America!’ as they walked to my class.

- Having a disco on the last day of camp and having a blast dancing with the kids J!

I decided today that I would spend an extra day here in Blantyre because the house is just so calm and I know that the house in Lilongwe will crowded full of people drinking and letting off steam until thanksgiving on Thursday. Today we went to the ‘bend over boutique’ [used clothes market] and I found the most amazing jeans and linen pants…and I have a travel outfit for Germany J. Hurrah for warm trousers. And then got my hair cut after I cut two other volunteers’ hair.

26 November 2008

I just finished my end of term report for the Peace Corps office and it forced me to think about what I’ve been doing at my site this past year now. And to be honest I had to admit to myself that outside of a pretty hefty teaching load I haven’t done much [in terms of any secondary projects]. Instead I have spent the year learning a new language, understanding my community and the people that make it up, I’ve learned more about myself and my leadership ability and I now have a starting place for any secondary project we want to start. One is already in the works; that is the electricity project…and I suppose the calculator loaning program. As I am here in Lilongwe [having some distance from my village] I am hopeful that I can start a fine arts club at school [to teach paper making, jewelry, painting, drawing and such] as well as a girls study group to encourage the female students in their studies AND to encourage them to encourage EACHOTHER! So I suppose I could call those my New Year’s Resolutions.

As this year starts to come to close [or at least my first year in Malawi] I find myself far more at peace with who I am [still not with my body…but at least I am at peace with who I am in spirit and heart]. My skin is gloriously clear [probably connected to the whole ‘at peace’ thing!] and I find that I am far more capable than I ever thought possible. If anyone had told me a year ago that I would be fearless as I stood in front of a hundred people to give a lesson or instructions, I would have laughed in their face. But here I am. I find myself able to lead in a way I was far too timid for in the past, and to my surprise people actually listen and respect what I have to say.

I am interested to see my family in Switzerland to see if they have a different perspective on how I have changed…even Rebecca; I have changed even in the three months since she visited me here. I am not at all ready to leave Malawi and head to the States at this point but I am excited to see how my life will be different when I get back, how I will be different, how I will handle situations in new ways, will I be perceived differently than before? We shall see I suppose.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and all volunteers are invited to the Ambassadors house for an expat celebration…on the pretense that we bring a side dish or dessert to share. So that’s the program for today…baking and cooking for that. The transit house in Lilongwe is ridiculously full and there are people everywhere. But at the same time it’s wonderful to see everyone again – before everyone starts to meander off for their close of service [COS] or for Christmas holiday. And we will all be together again in January of 2009.

Hey you two :) So, I am writing this response here...becuase I couldn't respond to your comment and didn't have your email address. I'd love to answer any questions you have; just be prepared for a slight delay in response :) I'm excited to hear that you are going to do Peace Corps -- being the only one at Calvin when we graduated was a bit disheartening...but I'm looking forward to hearing your story! Send me an email anytime...the address is on the right hand side of the blog! Hope to hear from you soon!

1 November 2008

So, I’ve been a bit behind in these updates…my journal is in the same state of neglect. The past weeks have been characteristically rollercoaster-ish – but more extreme than usual.

I guess, in short, I’ve been feeling like a shitty volunteer. So I became a bit of a hermit – I isolated myself; from my neighbors, my fellow teachers, my students and the kids around my house. But as is the case with these things – that just made me feel worse. Part of it, I think, is Peace Corps pressure on us to have what they call ‘secondary projects’. And I haven’t started any outside of teaching. I teach math and biology at the secondary school which amounts to about 25 periods a week…and then twice a week I teach math and biology to teachers and community members that want to rewrite their exams in an attempt to move up in their career. And of course there is the toil of everyday life: fetching water, doing laundry, cooking…and so on. But I don’t have a knitting group, or school clubs, or peanut butter project. I haven’t dug any wells or built any bridges. The closest I’ve come to the elusive ‘secondary project’ has been this electricity endeavor. So, I’ve just been feeling useless and purposeless these past few weeks – and holing up in my house wasn’t helping.

Then this thing with the school committee constitution happened. The grant proposal I’m working on requires that I explain how the school committee constitution will ensure that its oversight is thorough. But the man that apparently was in possession of the paper lived in another village. So Madame Keller climbed on her bicycle in order to retrieve it. The first day she was foiled because Mr. Chimtunga was in the field. So, she mounted her bike a second day…managing to get caught in the seasons first rain along the way. Getting there was hilarious…I was welcomed by Mr. Chimtunga and his wife and then proceeded to meet his entire family. I meet sisters, aunts, grandchildren, ancient parents and grandparents…and they gave me nkwani [bean leaves] and 4 guinea fowl eggs since I couldn’t eat dinner with them. The best part was, when he left to go bathe [I will never understand the Malawian idea of bathing before ‘escorting’ someone on bike], and I was left with fifteen of his various female relatives and their children and we were just chatting. They thought it was the greatest thing that I found their house at all [miracle of miracles it seems that I can ask for and interpret directions]. That was good for my soul and reaffirmed my faith in my Chichewa speaking ability [which has been lacking recently]. I think it’s that the more I learn the more afraid I am of making mistakes…whereas at first I didn’t even realize that I was making mistakes, now I notice them all the time and that makes me self conscious about it. But these encounters [like getting held hostage by a Malawian family to chat for three hours] have gotten me back out of my house…so I am hopeful!

In other good news, I’ve learned how to use the schools ancient duplicating machine…and am now permanently stained black up to my elbows thanks to the rather inky process. But now, if ever our finicky copy machines in the states decide to revolt, there will be at least one American capable of making copies without electricity. See, I am learning practical skills here!

15 November 2008

As we’re doing CampSky I’m oddly reminded of SHARE, the Salvation Army summer day camp I worked at during high school and college. Of course the kids are completely different, the setting is entirely different and the things we are teaching are far beyond SHARE, but the meetings, student issues, activities, volunteer interactions – are all reminiscent. And it’s been going wonderfully well – the first day was remarkably smooth – considering it was our first day, the American Ambassador decided it would be an ideal day to visit AND the new teaching volunteer trainees came to observe how we work. So, we had 98 kids, 25 extra volunteers, and a public official…and it all went off without a hitch. Of course, the nsima was a bit runny, we were low on greens and there were room complications with some of the mosquito nets…but I had expected far worse.

Teaching here has been glorious! To have a class of 20 students [when I’m used to having anywhere from 45 to 90] is such a lovely change. I already know all the students names [after 2 days] and can actually address individual student confusion in class as we work through problems. And on top of only having few students, those students are the brightest in all of their respective schools, which makes teaching them far more enjoyable. It’s also great to see the kids get excited about their elective classes. We decided to do a ‘track’ program for the camp this year. Each student is in a track; either business, health sciences, fine arts or environment and each of those tracks has specific elective classes. For example health has parasitology, natural medicine, nutrition, and life skills; environment has wildlife, composting, kitchen gardens, papermaking; business has economics, computer classes and they run a small tuck shop where students and volunteers can buy biscuits, fruit, sodas; and the fine art kids get creative writing, knitting, jewelry making, and ballroom dancing. I taught a papermaking class to the environment kids earlier this week and we had a blast. Part of the class we split them in two: one group went o a ‘nature walk’ to find fibres, leaves and flowers for their paper and the other group stayed inside to learn some origami – which was so fun! The hardest part was getting the kids to actually fold the paper ON the desk for clean creases…they’re so used to not having desks that they tried to fold their butterflies in the air. I have the fine arts kids for math class everyday and in class yesterday I was thrilled to see students become leaders, explaining a difficult assignment to their fellow students, IN ENGLISH! I felt proud watching them grow so confident in their math skills.

So that’s what I’m up to for the next week. We have one more week of CampSky…and today all the kids are at Liwonde National Park looking at animals for today…so we volunteers that didn’t have room on the bus get a day off. I’m heading into town [to post this] and buy some fruit and then heading up the Zomba Plateau to do some hiking. I hope that ya’ll are well and hope to hear some news from you soon!

And back in Lilongwe for another full, full, full weekend! And will be back again in two weeks…for Halloween and finishing proposals and summer school planning stuff.

The past weeks have been strangely stressful – and yet I am the happiest and most at peace I have been thus far in my time here. One of the worst/best days was last week on Tuesday. I arrived at school early to discuss with the only other teacher that is here with me for the next two weeks about how we wanted to run classes. Getting there the proctors for the form4 governmental exams [MSCE] were planning for the day and they realized that they were missing some crucial papers. So…naturally the other teacher volunteered to ride his bike to the nearest city to get them. And thus Madame Keller was left in charge of the entire school one her own for the day. To be honest it went remarkably well. One of those forced leadership situations. The kids were relatively well behaved and I taught until almost noon. But after that I was exhausted. But I got to use my new chalkboards. The form4 students came over in the afternoon to go over math stuff before they wrote their exam the following day.

Yesterday we had a really great event for CampSky. We created a restaurant at the country director's house and served a lovely dinner to expats in the community. Dinner was amazing…cooked by amazing cooks, there were raffles and scholarships and a bar and a dessert table. It was glorious…exhausting, but we raised over a thousand dollars and had a great time too. The only stress factor being that our main table lighting were candles…and gales of wind blew around all day. So me nervous about people being able to see their food stressed me out a tad.

For those that like pictures, I’ve uploaded new ones to the gmail photo album – only a few but you can have a looksie. I hope that everything is well in your part of the world and I am thinking of you!

Rhythms. They are always in life. And they are always changing. A bit counterintuitive really. But, so life is here.

Teaching has become a rhythm. The days when I was continually terrified, writing every word I would utter in class for fear that I would panic, those days are gone. Me as teacher has become an extension of my ordinary self. And that creates a rhythm. A changeable one. As my relationships with students change [more intimate, more distant, being pissed at them, they being confused] so does the rhythm teaching has become.

Me as ‘Malawian Neighbor’ – for the most part – is no longer conscious work; I just am. The kids come to chat or borrow a soccer ball, I go to have my neighbor braid my hair, my neighbors comes to chat or bring peanuts or have his phone battery charged, I go to help plant maize or apple fertilizer or put in hair curlers. And so we have a rhythm. But – ever changing. One neighbor has gotten married – giving me a new person next door. That’s on the right side of my house. On the other side a family has moved and a new family has moved in. If the community was so helpful in the States the entire moving industry would cease to exist. Nevertheless – new neighbors cause changes in rhythm: negatively – I have lost two adorable children that are not afraid of my ‘azungu’ face. I have lost a woman who’s laugh is contagious. Positively – I have a lovely new family to learn to love. The matriarch is jovial, the father a stoic ‘let-the-works-of-my-heads-speak’ type. Both have been warm and welcoming and most wonderfully not at all fazed by my obvious foreignness. Their oldest daughter is also a baby of 1985 and is remarkably NOT married! She has decided we are going to be friends. A good thing – because the neighbors are plotting to marry us off to suitable Malawian men. So ya’ll can await invitations to a grand wedding, complete with nsima and thobwa.

So, life’s rhythms are constantly in change. Time and events pass leaving new ones to look forward to in their place. In September I will have the joy of welcoming 22 new education volunteers. In November I have summer school to look forward to and in December I have a ticket to Germany to visit the little sis as she works as an au pair. Her first, my second, Christmas away from home – should be good for both of us. And I, for a few short weeks, will no longer be a minority. January will bring with it a new year…and also a new rhythm.

And thus are the rhythms of life here. What are the rhythms of your life? Today? What will they be tomorrow? I’d love to know…and see how they swing in tandem with mine!

For those with woeful attention spans I present the cliff notes version:

*I’m sad over lost neighbors, happy to love my new ones.

*Trying not to kill my tree seedlings as I plant and transplant.

*For those in Switzerland: I have made a Knoepfli plate and make them at least once a week!

*I introduced Mrs. Bones [ie, hand drawn skeleton] to my bio class only to start an argument about whether Mr. Bones and Mrs. Bones would be different [How many ribs would each one have, Madame?]

*I am running. Granted it is in place, inside my house. But still – I AM running!

3 July 2008

I've concluded that exams are by far the most infuriating time at Kalumbu CDSS. Students are not being taught as they wait hours for their exams to begin. I was told by my form three students that my classes were the only ones they have had all week. This happened last term too and it's unbelievably frustrating to see students punished for lateness when their teachers don't even fucking go to class! Sorry -- but all last week I just wanted to scream in the staff room...but realized that it probably wouldn't have the desired effect.

In more uplifting news...I am getting braver :) Last Wednesday I went to the big market twice. I hate the Wednesday market, but I am getting less intimidated by the whole affair. Somehow the huge market in town is more manageable. Maybe because it's not mine. But I bought myself a pair of shoes. Brand new. And then I just sat and looked at them for a while. But humorous moment at the market: I was looking for a tin bucket [because I can now carry almost 50L of water on my head] so I stopped and asked about price. The man quoted and I got him down to more reasonable figure but then had to admit that I really didn't have enough with me and would buy it next week. He agreed - but only if he could move in with me. It took me a second to decipher his Chichewa idiom, but then I clarified that I was really only interested in the bucket -- not a man.

My electricity project is on hold...mainly because the transformer keeps exploding and sending some small business stall up in flames. Puts a bit of a damper on the whole thing. And it's making me rethink the solar option.

As I write this [on paper to be typed in town at the computer next week] I am proctoring the Chichewa Composition Exam. Whoever made the proctoring schedule is having a laugh I'm sure :)

So far this second term has been a flurry - and has flown by - both a good thing [in terms of lonliness] and horrible [in terms of the material covered in class!]. Just two weeks ago I was in town to work on summer school stuff and now I am back to do more prep work for CampSky and to meet with GAD to plan our IronChef fundraiser.

Last weekend I took a break. I worked in my garden, played with the neighbors, walked probably 4k hauling water [becuase boreholes keep breaking down in this dusty dry season] and planned for classes. I even skipped church on Sunday - so even sunday was all mine.

The past few weeks have each escalated my sense of frustration and has encouraged me to be on the timetable committee next year to assure that I never have a first period. Classes are supposed to start at 7:30a but the headteacher never arrives on time...usually around 8ish and then if we have assembly [or chair distribution problems] students aren't IN class until 8:15 -- 5 minutes into second period. So I am fuming before the day has even started and am forced to shift my classes around and haggle other teachers to reclaim my lost time. A late start and increasingly lazy teachers is starting to wear me down becuase I ultimately feel responsible to pick up the slack. And now I've started teaching math to teachers at the primary school. So, thats that. But other things are going increasingly well. As of Tuesay the netball team finally has uniforms, a contractor has come to look at the school about electricity, and my neighbors are feeling like family. I still hate market days [being berated by drunk men is never appealing.]. But more and more I feel like I fit here. Helping that feeling has been visiting students' families. Last week I visited a form4 chaps home village...and hour or so walk, to Dembo village. He's one of my most articulate students, so the walk was never quiet. Both of us were firing questions back and forth - he about life in America - me about his family, random chichewa words, and farming practices I didn't understand yet. We ended up staying at his mother's house too long, shucking maize and it had gotten dark, so he had to escort me home...along with a backpack full of groundnuts, maize and beans. Does anyone want beans? I have a 2year supply for a family of seven accumulating in my kitchen [that's what happens when you blythly mention you like something]. I'll send you all a handful.

So life continues in Malawi. I am trying my hand at permaculture and spent the weekend making new garden beds and then wandering around picking up chicken, goat and cattle droppings to increase my sandy soil's nitrogen content. In two weeks the students will beign writing their terminal tests and I am feeling overwhelmingly terrified by the amount of material I haven't been able to cover. And their impending NATIONAL EXAMS in October and November. I already know I need to start guarding my heart in preparation for those students that will fail. But I can't bring myself to do it...so I will shattered when results come out in December; having to put myself together again enough to do the whole thing over again in January.

THOUGHTS

*Not having running water in the village is FAR better than not having running water in the city.

*A form 2 student came to school in brand new All-Star sneakers.

*I had a goat in my house becuase I forgot to close the door when I went to get water. I can't decide if that's better or worse than in my garden eating my lettuce...

*Just finished Three Cups of Tea...if you have a chance please read it.

Sunday was one of those days. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and yet – it was okay. I had planned to meet with the wife of one of my fellow teachers. She wanted me to see her church [last week I went to a friend’s church and now EVERYONE is upset that I haven’t been to theirs]. Getting to her house in the morning though she didn’t seem to be there. Neither was the teacher. Mmmm. It took 20 minutes for their children to tell me that they had actually left yesterday to visit a sick patient ‘kwanu’ (at their original home). But I went to church anyway – with one of the students staying with them. We walked about 5k to a United Methodist Church that was in the middle of nowhere … just behind a little hill. Gorgeous. But it turned out there was a funeral so only a few people showed up, making it more of a bible study than a church service. They’re making me come back next week for the real thing.

I am in town at the moment for our midterm holiday –- which happened a bit spontaneously and with a complete disregard to my requested time off; which means that I will have to miss 3 days of class next week … which I am bummed about and my students will be disappointed about as well. But I am working on teaching materials for them while I’m in Lilongwe this week … so I hope that redeems me. I am also trying to figure out how to get my school to obtain electricity. I ran around to various suppliers’ offices yesterday in an attempt to determine cost and feasibility –- and then determine which grant proposal I should start writing. It seems like it would be simple enough. There is some paperwork to fill out and then when I am in town again next week I can get a list of reliable contractors for the wiring of the school. But then, do I want the school reliable on the often-corrupt corporate giants? Would it be sustainable? The grant proposal would at best cover the initial hook into the power grid and the wiring of the school buildings, but monthly payments wouldn’t fall under grant provisions. Even with powering cell phones or showing films, the sustainability question is plaguing me. So then I started to think about solar power –- which, although more expensive to install and more complicated to operate and explain would outlast my two years here and actually serve as an income generating possibility for the school. But it’s more time intensive and won’t benefit the students as quickly. I have all the forms from the electrical supplier, so I need to talk to the school –- teachers and the committee –- to see what they think we should do.

Yesterday I made the mistake of looking at food-porn and now all I want to do is bake something amazing.

One of my students said the most eloquent thing the other day. We were chatting about how he wants to be a doctor and how he struggles in math and he said 'Madame, we understand when you are teaching. But when you go out it is as though you take all the knowledge with you.' How do I leave the knowledge in there when I leave? Any ideas?

It has been another full week:

* My headmaster wore tinted glasses ALL day on Monday

* My top form4 student wore a pinstriped suit on Wednesday

* I rode on the back of my students bicycle for a half hour as he 'escorted' me to the main road

* I played Netball and learned that I dislike the sport even more than I previously thought

* I learned that I give off a pheramone that attracts drunk men...of ALL ages

* I learned that chickens will eat anything...especially almost ripe tomatoes.

I am in town for the weekend [9May-11May] for an HIV/AIDS training. TTFN

Students over for an afternoon iPod session :)

Getting them to smile was a challenge...

Tortillas at my house for lunch were much enjoyed.

For more pics: [http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2051457&l=ce645&id=15300688]

27 April 2008 - Sunday

I woke up this morning to a chilly morning -- made coffee and read in bed for a while. Everyone has started harvesting their maize so I figured that church would most likely start late...so I dawdled before heading over to my neighbors. They dawdled too, we sat and ate pumpkin while the kids bathed and then headed off to church. And we were still early -- the service is supposed to start at 9:30...didn't get going until probably 11. Pretty typical. That said -- we didn't finish until close to 1pm. Getting home I had a form2 student on my back stoop...picking me up for lunch at her house - whoops. As we walked to her house [a good hour and half away] I remembered that I had promised an extra math lesson at school -- and I definetely wouldn't be back in time for that, so I snatched the first man on a bicycle I saw and asked if he was headed to Kalumbu, if he knew Jam Mwale? Yes! Could he please tell him that I wouldn't be back into time for our study session? [Mumadziwa JamMwale? Mungathe kuwuza kuti sindidzatha kupanga masamu pa madzulo! Ndatorkoza!]. Lunch [well, linner] was great with nsima, eggs and greens -- and hanging out with my student's little sister who's seven and the most enchanting little girl I've met in a long time. As I prepared to leave I heard an awful lot of rustling in the kitchen. That should have been my warning sign :) I was given no less than 7 pumpkins and a huge bag of white beans! As I started home, with the beans in my knapsack and the pumpkins on my head I was rescued by a friend on his way home ON HIS BICYCLE! He let me hop on and was able to get me home before it was completely dark...and with out a migraine. Pumpkins are a lot harder to carry than buckets of water. Lesson learned.

11 April, 2008

My head is spinning with information and ideas at the moment. My training group [the 25 that I came into country with last September] just finished our IST [in-service training] after our first three months at our sites and teaching. We spent a lot of time talking about potential secondary projects and how to go about finding available funding – and all the associated grant and proposal writing that comes with that. I have a renewed sense of wanting to investigate my community. I have visions of school lunch programs, bee keeping, new boreholes. But all of those visions are mine and not my community’s – and that’s where is needs to start; with my students, with my counterparts, with my neighbors.

We’ve also started planning for summer school; which happens for two weeks after term three ends in November. Each education volunteer chooses their best 2 form3 students to send to the 2 week long camp. This year it is our groups turn to lead and organize so we started planning and are still naively enthusiastic. We’ve come up with a neat class structure for the camp: the first week will be focused on the exam-able subjects and students will choose their electives. After that first week we will have ‘career counseling’ and talk to the students about this career goals, while realistically looking at their strengths. Then the second week will be more ‘track’ focused in specific career tracks with related field trips and practicums. At the moment we are still focused on preliminary work – what site we want, enrollment applications, fundraising; but it’s been exciting to start this project.

17 April 2008 – Thursday

Not even a week back at school and it’s already crazy. This was the third morning in a row that I have met with for from4 at 6am for extra math lessons [we’re meeting again tomorrow]. But it’s paying off in that we are making amazing progress. Even the stragglers seem to be following [which with quadratics is saying a lot]. My first period of the day was form1 math. They don’t fit in their classroom so groups inside is impossible, while groups outside, I found, is MASS CHAOS! But only until I started shouting instructions in Chichewa…then it went ‘smoother’. I literally ran to math in from3 and then finally had a short break before going back in to teach biology. The whole time during break I had students coming in asking about their homework assignment, I met a new student and was amazed to learn that one of my students has been cycling 25k to school each morning…but now is self-boarding within the catchment area. I’m paying a second student’s school fees – I almost thought he wasn’t coming back. Turns out he had gone over the border to Mozambique [on his own] to work for three weeks and only make 800mk [roughly $5]. School fees at 1400mk for this term. He can’t be more than 15yrs old.

After tallying up exam numbers for the head teacher, I headed home running into a student along the way that informed me that he would miss class tomorrow. He needed to buy boarding supplies – which I suppose is code for buckets and a backpack. This new attendance policy of mine is working well. Now I know WHY my students are gone. I know that Jam had to go to his grandfather’s funeral, that Danwell is working fulltime at the clinic, that Roderick was harvesting maize. All these things help me know my students better. But it’s a balance – the closer I get to my students, the more disconnected and disillusioned I become with my fellow teachers.

Finally getting home [after multiple more greetings] I went to get water, but was distracted by Revsoni [the 9 month-old next door] waddling through a maize field. He couldn’t even walk when I got here…and now he is getting himself lost. Then came the best part of the day – because it just flowed so well. I built a fire, and put water on [for a bath later] and then put my shoes on to get my phone from the shop. Again I got distracted by my Soya beans, and thus my skirt ended up covered in all sorts of prickly sticky seeds. As I was picking them off three students walked by and proceeded to help. What a picture we four must have made attacking my skirt. I finally got my phone and after meeting my neighbor near the tomato stand he walked me home. Well, almost. He veered off to visit a sick friend along the way. I brought oatmeal over to my neighbor and pop rocks for the kids J While we chatted, kids were sliding down an enormous rock façade using leaves as sleds! Getting home, my water was boiling and I took a hot bath and shaved. Mmmmmm.

It is amazing how different each person's site is. I just got back from a friend's site -- and her school was crazy. She has electricity and a kick-ass science lab. We spent 4 hours organizing boxes and boxes of beackers, flasks, crazy bizarre glassware, pulley wheels, scales and chemicals I have never heard of. She had 3 life size skelatons and models of the ear, eye and mouth. It seemed unfair, well it IS unfair -- why couldn't resources be more evenly distributed? Did one school really need 3 skelatons? We cooked fabulous food: delicious oatmeal in the morning, potato curry stew with rice for lunch, and hot cocoa for dinner! It was suprisingly as cold there as it is in Kalumbu which made me happy. Inspite of that...I still prefer my home here. I remember our trainers saying when we first got our site assignments, that no matter where you end up - you will learn to love your site. And they were right. I wouldn't trade my village for anything. I love that women give me free donuts at the market when I'm buying gauvas. I love that it takes me an hour to ride a distance that should take me 30 minutes because I am called off the road by families along the way. I love that my students can interpret my funny faces and sound effects as I'm teaching. I love that I can cook things for my neighbors and that we always have something new to talk about. I love that the people around me continue to challenge my language proficiency, that they constantly teach me new words and are almost always patient in their corrections of me. I love that my house is my own, that kids come over and we draw pictures in my freshly swept yard, that they teach me dances as I teach them how to use crayons.

Walking home from school last week, I took a short cut by the church where I can walk through a groundnut field thereby avoiding some unwanted attention – and I walked right into the middle of a group of women cooking for Mpingo azi amayi [women’s group]. The women cooking had already eaten, sitting and waiting for the service to end so they could serve the food. Grace, the woman that taught me how to properly weed my beans, made me sit and eat – nsima, beans and nkhwani. My guest duty complete, I helped wash dishes and then they let me help serve the food to the women as they closed service and settled on the grass. My neighbor and her friends commanded me [although politely] to sit and eat with them…I said that I had already eaten [Nadya kale] but to no avail. I just decided that dinner would consist of tea. I learned how to properly cook pumpkin properly – turns out you don’t stick the WHOLE pumpkin into the pot of water. We all have a good laugh about that J.

I feel like my presence is becoming less and less obtrusive…less children shouting ‘AZUNGU’, settling for ‘Jerini’. I feel a sense of integration as I am invited to go pumpkin picking with one of my fellow teacher’s wives, as I carry my neighbors baby on my back in the traditional Malawian way, as I bake cookies and cook pumpkin to share with my neighbors during afternoon tea, as a student gives me a huge sack of freshly picked Irish potatoes from his field. I never know what to write here; in some ways I feel like so much has happened. Then I look back and realize that what to me seemed HUGE at the time is minuet in the larger picture of life here. Last week I picked my beans and they are lying in the sun drying. I’ll be able to shell them soon. The flowers I planted bloomed yesterday…pictures to come soon. I finished painting one room of my house and hung new curtains [I think it’s very ‘Jeannine-ish]. I met one of my student’s cousins. I learned more about my neighbor’s family – and that he wants to be married by September [since I’m not getting married until September 2011, we’ve clarified that the two of us WON’T be getting married]. Last Sunday was a lovely morning. I went to church but before that I ‘pampered’ myself…I actually heated my bath water…and shaved my legs. Ah, glorious! And then I made oatmeal [from a friend’s care package] and coffee, and sat under my tree, reading until I heard the church bell pealing.

We are through with exams and have given the students their school reports for the 1st term…there were some sleepless nights spent getting all the exams marked and recorded. I had time to revise with students…and there was also quite a bit of SUDOKU playing going in class the last few days. I wasn’t about to start teaching new material…but the students needed something to do…so why not solve puzzles.

The most impression leaving event of the past weeks was the funeral I attended on Thursday. I felt I could pass it off as another teacher-ly duty – after all I had been to some 6 funeral during training...but that was not ‘home’. Getting to the village, I attached myself to the women and entered the house of mourning. The room was stuffed with women, the coffin in the center of the room with the body of the 14yr old covered in fabric, the women seated in various positions on the floor; singing, praying and weeping unbearably. As we left the house, a group of school boys came and kneeled in front of the house; the chiefs came and we walked to an open area under a tree, the coffin hammered shut [it seemed so violently final at the time] and carried to a table. Again, men and women were distinctly segregated during the speeches and sermon. Heading to the graveyard, a good kilometer away, we sang hymns in Chichewa. Graveyards here are lovely – they are in the forest with wildflowers growing all over. What struck me most was the reality of the situation. I realized that anyone of my neighbors children could realistically die – of malaria, of AIDs, of a vitamin deficiency – and I began to think about the ramifications of that; the inconsolable grief our community would have to bear, the gaping hole that child would leave; not just in the family but in a place so interconnected, the entire village. It was an overwhelming sense of concern that flooded me and as sad as I felt I was also encouraged. I’ve been struggling with my lack of a sense of purpose outside the classroom, but that feeling, this one of sorrow and genuine concern gives me confidence that I will be able to help in some way as I truly love those around me.

I will leave you with two things:

Low Moment of the week: Someone stole my Sherlock Holmes books out of my pit latrine. No more reading when I have long diarrhea squats.

Funny moment of the weeks: All of you that know me well will appreciate this. I had a meeting in a neighboring village for school the other day – so you have to imagine me in ballet flats, dress shirt and my sari skirt…riding a mountain bike :) Enjoy.

Tuesday marks the start of exams at Kalumbu CDSS and it quite a more involved process than any of my exams ever were. To start there is the fact that we are encouraged to follow the National Exam format, so that students are used to the general procedure, meaning that each subject should have 2 papers/tests; I rebelled and only wrote one. I have been informed that next term I will conform! Then there is the matter of a timetable – we are also following the national schedule for that and are in current debate about whether to have both daily exams in the morning or give the students a two hour break and take the 2nd in the afternoon; a hot topic that will hopefully be resolved before Tuesday.

Still all this is minuet when compared to the actual construction of the exams. First we write them out by hand and submit them to our temporarily employed typist. She then types them onto some sort of stencil which we keep running out of and are continually sending someone to town for. These stencils are then used in some sort of duplicating apparatus. I am missing that land of computers and even, dare I say, copy machines.

But it was encouraging during our review sessions to realize how much my students really did learn; even those topics I felt sure they hadn’t understood. Given time to ‘ferment’ it seems that at least Photosynthesis and collection of like terms is clear if nothing else.

Low moment on Wednesday: Math Form Three. The day before I had put them into groups – their assignment was to solve one problem, ONE, and then teach the class how they solved it the following day. We were doing circle geometry and I figured if they could explain how they understood it in Chichewa or English, their classmates would be more apt to understand than if I ranted about chord properties and angle theorems for the better part of an hour. Getting into class today, not a single group had even started their problem. I was crestfallen, although had anticipated it slightly given the general nature of the class. It was my first ‘disappointed teacher’ speech and then I walked out of class. They seemed better in Biology, more engaged but it’s disappointing to work your ass off [or feel like you’re working your ass off], doing something you’ve never really done, in a place not your own, and you end up looking at a room of blank faces.

I’ve had a few interesting interactions of the past couple of days. Just this morning marks the strangest though. Usually in the morning we [my neighbors and I] are friendly but stick to basic greetings – we’re all pretty busy cooking, sweeping, bathing, getting ready for school or work or the field, so I found it odd when Patrick from next door wandered into my yard announcing I had visitors. At 5:45 in the morning, I thought. Turns out an elderly couple thought I was a health worker and would help them. I had to explain that I was just a teacher and didn’t have any medicine. They decided that instead I would be a miracle worker and asked me to pray for them. They came back in the afternoon and I prayed for them – they hinted that they were coming back, so I’m not sure if this healing prayer session is going to be a weekly thing but there was also talk of a basin, maize mill and 3rd mother…I lost the Chichewa after a while.

I’m getting better at 3 things:

1. Waiting: for things to happen, for my house to be fixed and finished, for my garden to grow, for my students to absorb and understand, for life in general.

2. At being present: I think this is connected to patience; being impatient makes you constantly aware of what you want or think you should be doing and therefore always thinking about a time and space other than the one you’re in. As I slow down I have moments of true “present-ness”.

3. At being watched or observed: I remember even at Koinonia I hated people watching me as I cooked or baked [which 12 people in a house makes a challenge]. Even here, I would stop what I was doing it someone came to visit – and for some I still do – but especially for the kids, if I’m cooking or gardening or doing dishes or laundry I chat with them as I work. However, there are two girls, sisters, whose visits I dread because they come over purely ‘kupempha’ to beg for things: flour, bananas, bottles, anything. And they don’t even put up a façade of wanting to chat. But my favorite neighbor Kafryn is four and lovely. She will come over and just watch as I work or we’ll draw pictures in the sand of my freshly swept yard and she’ll chat with me the whole time – slowly and articulately so that I understand. How amazing that a four-year-old comprehends better than most grownups that I’m slow with Chichewa. It seems people go to either extreme with language when they deal with me – they either give me the most rudimentary greeting very slowly “Muuuulllliiiii bwaaaaaanji?” not even having enough respect to use a time specific greeting. Or they after seeing that I am actually able to converse assume I am fluent and begin rattling off at a speed and in a dialect I have no hope of following.

In garden news: The wild tomato plants are thriving while my watered, weeded, cared for plants are struggling; with the help of the Medical Safety Administrator, I transplanted flowers from the non-functional clinic to my house; I’ve learned that carrots are NOT to be transplanted only thinned and I have my first visible cucumber! The garden is a-growin’.

Yesterday was full -- up at 4:30, thanks to the rooster next door, swept the house, 'cleaned the yard' aka removed grass, swept the kitchen, did dishes, went to school [7am] and on the way stopped by the tea room for a sikono [bun] for breakfast, taught my 4 classes all in a row, ran home [buying bananas along the way for lunch] and then rode my bike to Natenje where I hitched a ride into town from a lovely old irish man visiting his daughter in Malawi :) And now I suddenly have internet. It's strange - there is no longer an adjustment. I just learn to operate in two zones, one where I cook over open fire, lesson plan by candlelight and take bucket baths and the other where I have internet, can buy yogurt and have a bathtub.

The past week has also been a full one. The students have a football and netball game next week so there has been sport practice every afternoon - meaning my school day starts at 7am and ends at 5:30pm. But it's been amazing to learn to play netball with my female students! We laugh a lot [mostly at my confusion] and I learn more chichewa!

Life is impossibly hard some days - both physically and mentally. A few weekends ago I was coming home [on bike, naturally] and it started raining so the bike was coated in mud and got stuck. A man from the village I was passing had to help me schlep it up the hill as I sobbed. Getting home, soaked, muddy and tired, I found that my fence had collapse becuase of all the rain. And then, as I was walking back from the well, with a giant pail of water on my head I slipped and fell, spilling all the water over the ground. Not a fabulous home coming. Or there are days when teaching is terrible -- students don't understand, or I am stressed by lesson planning, or my being the only woman on staff is being particularly difficult. But then days happen to make it all worth it: 1. Yobu in form 3 searching each of his fellow students pockets to find my missing crayon 2. Kafryn [4 year old from next door] walking with me to the well all four times as I got water 3. the reverend at the church giving me a loaf of bread just as I ran out 4. Chatting on my neighbors front porch each day at 4:30 on the dot 5. Making students do yoga stretches to wake them up before class 6. Being taught how to play netball by my female studets 7. Realizing that I could follow an entire conversation [and a long one a that] in Chichewa :) 8. Those moments when I truly feel content and at home here [had one the other day as I looked around at the absolutely gorgeous scenery after I pumped a bucket full of water and thought "Am I really here?"].

I am blessed by neighbors and students that engage me and keep me confident in humankind's ability to love.

Here I sit - in town - on my once a month restock weekend, after completing two official weeks of teaching. It is overwhelming as I try to remember how I learned in High school - how were quadratic equations explained to me? And I struggle with overlaying my experience with what my students here will have. Two of our four classrooms don't have roofs at the moment, so the form 1 class has been outside under a tree -- being the rainy season makes teaching there a bit difficult. Most of these students get up and haul water from far off wells or farm in their families fields before they make it [most often late] to class at 7:30. There are those that cannot afford pens or notebooks, the language barrier is always an issue, and in form 1 at present I have 100 students in a room intended for 20. But I am taking it in stride.

Outside of school life has been frustrating at times - things don't quite work the way they should and for most of this the chickens are to blame. I remember in my vegan days - thinking Utopically about chickens wandering around doing as they please. At this point I am ready to either kill them all or lock them up. Understand that this comes after they completely demolished my compost bin and scrapped up all of my tomato plants. But next week my neighbor is building me a new bin - I hope his survives longer than mine.

But for now, some of my favourites:

- Being invited to a student's house for lunch last week.

- Having a dance party every morning in my underwear with my Dance!Dance!Dance! playlist on my iPod

- Hearing a knock at the door only to find the church Reverend's cook at the door with a bag of bread, carrots and a HUGE cabbage.

- Walking to my water well -- it is absolutely gorgeous. I always have a moment of "Am i really here?" as I walk through the fields of ground nuts, soy nuts, and finally the maize that surrounds the well. At this point the maize stalks are almost as tall as I am.

- Thinking that I had both rats and bats in my house the other night only to climb out from under my net, flashlight in hand and finding that all the noise was from a cockroach that had landed on it's back.

- Having my form 1 students actually tell my that I had made a mistake on the board (-2 is after all NOT greater than 10)

Such is life at present. I get impatient and frustrated with myself a lot here -- but I also keep telling myself that I have time. That I don't need to know every one's name in my village yet for example....new ones keep popping up! So, when you think about me - think calming thoughts, free from anxiety and frustration. Love and miss you all!

Tomorrow I am dropped off at my site...on my own officially. Yesterday we were [the 24 of us] sworn in; and are no longer called PCTs Peace Corps Traineers but official PCVs Peace Corps Volunteers! We shook the ambassador's hand and got a pin and that was that. The afternoon was a chaotically overwhelming - we had two hours to stock a completely empty house for two years. Fun times. It reminded me a bit of grocery shopping duty at Koinonia to be completely honest; keeping in mind a very tight budget and a massive amount of stuff. But I am almost done -- the only thing I have left are things I will buy in my village - straw mats, baskets and chairs.

I'm going to apologize for my lack of picture documentation - I know you miss them and that they would be far more eloquent than my words, but the internet connection here is incredibly slow and is not being cooperative. Secondly, I need to apologize for my lack of communication in the next months. I am not allowed to leave my site until April -- with the exception being that once a month I get to come into town for resupply, for things like rice and bigger bulk type items. So, internet access will be limited to that once a month town visit. But check back every now and then. That's that. Merry Christmas if I don't talk to you before then :)

The rains have started. They are starting late this year and farmers were getting worried about their crops growing well. It was a strange feeling lying in bed with two distinct thoughts running through my head as the rains fell sharply on the tin roofs above. The first was one of joy; for my impending garden, for the farmers in my village, for the general green-ness that would follow. The second thought was Crap...is my house leaking? But it is truly amazing how fast and wonderfully things grow here. Even with just a few short spurts of rain, the trees and bushes are already so lush and alive.

The next couple days have and will be incredibly full. At present we are all living on top of eachother at the transit house in Lilongwe as we have our last training sessions, do our shopping for our sites and get sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers. So soon, my name will no longer be Jeannine Keller, PCT, but Jeannine Keller, PCV. I am pretty darn excited. Oddly, being in the house reminds me of my time at Koinonia; a very communal feeling in regards to space but not with respect to food. Everyone has stuff label very specifically in the cupboards and in the fridge.

But now I am off, someone else wants the computer and I am going to brave the rain and head to the market and buy some mangoes and avacadoes.

It feels strange to have Internet so often in so few days. Especially when I move from no water or electricity at my house to lights and computers in town. But to be honest, the transition is no longer as drastic as I thought -- it just is.

Hitchhiking this week was a blast -- an adventure in its own right. Mini-buses are the main form of transport here - but they cram people in as if they are sardines and you usually end up with a bag of actual sardines on your lap and they overcharge you...all of which make hitching more practical and appealing. I got to see half of Malawi from the the back of an open bed truck, both on the way to Zomba on Wednesday and on the way back to Lilongwe yesterday. The country is truly amazingly beautiful - with the rainy season approaching or already underway in certain areas, everything in green and the maize is growing up tall, and the clouds are looking forever ominously dark in the distance.

I am beginning to feel a greater sense of independence here - and am in some ways dreading this last bit of training because of its 'parental structure' -- but I am also dreading leaving this group of 24 in a few weeks. These ones have been my companions through a most trying part of my life and there is a bond that forms in the place. It's hard to explain sometimes what happens here, and it is comforting to know that there is a group that I will never have to explain that to.

Moment of gratitude and pride [of myself and of Malawians]: Yesterday afternoon, riding on the back of a Matola [open back truck], sitting on top of bags of flour, maize and mangoes, packed in next to an amayi and her three year old son on one side and an ancient Muslim man on the other, the driver started haggling about price. We had been chatting, another volunteer and I, with the people around in Chichewa - explaining who we were, where we from, had been and were going, what we were doing, asking them why they were traveling, what their children did....and when we explained to the money collector that we were volunteer teachers in Malawi he accepted a much lower price than originally quoted. As we were digging through our bags, scrounging together the cash, one of the men next to me handed me a kwacha bill -- thinking that I couldn't get the fare together. I was floored. I was proud that my language and attitude was compassionate enough that this man would have compassion on me, a white foreigner, and I was proud of the Malawian spirit of hospitality and aid.