I got up yesterday, sweating like all get out. Probably a decent chance I carried half my sheet off the bed attached to some part of my body given that laying for hours and hours while just drenched apparently binds my body to my bed. For those of you who know me, this is about the worst thing ever. I can barely put a sheet on in AC. Anyway, first things were first. I punch danced around my house a little to “Computer Love” by Zapp, (yes, Zapp, look it up ya’ll). You ever have those time where you stop and ask, “Hmm, can I dance?” and then stare in your mirror for minutes on end trying out various dance moves just to see how you actually look doing them? I DO. Don’t be afraid to admit it. I know some of ya’ll are heavy footing it around. Kevin? Robert? What are ya’ll talking about? That’s how you narrow it down man to the GTF, the go to few. Anyway, according to my 7x7 mirror, my bag of dance moves is a Jumbo Pack. In case ya’ll are wondering, I’ve never heard of the word subjective and I’m not looking it up. Post dance attack I moved on to cleaning the house. Yup, responsibility. I pulled all my rugs up and swept up all the dust out of the house, keeping my body at maximum intense cat awareness so I could do my squealing choppy steps if you know who showed up. Shhhhh…lizar…FUSENI! A couple of dust bunnies moving in my periphery didn’t help the heart rate much, but I finished w/o incident. The house was clean, so naturally I had to move next to taking care of my bod. I did the usual poor man PC workout consisting of push-ups and push-ups and stretching. The diet of rice and sadness here takes care of my tummy. Awesome, I finished that. Being post work out, I had to hit the showers. I pulled some ji from the well, gathered up my mirror and razor to go shave while I was taking a bath. I had to squat down in the outdoor bathroom b/c the wall cuts off about chest level. I mean, you read the pushup part a second ago right? But, it’s the whiteness. I can’t expose the Malians to the whiteness. “Sidi, in God’s name!” Sorry guys, but I have to stand up at parts b/c my legs get tired. After that it was back to the house. Throw in a clothes picking out, drinking water getting, book reading montage right now. Whew. It was a busy morning. I mean, it was probably about lunch time about then right? I walked outside, “what time is it world?” Go ahead and show me, b/c my day has already been Jam Packattacked……….

7:00am,

O!

M!

G!

b/c yeah, I forgot I woke up at 5am b/c ITS SOOOO HOOTTTT.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

This has been every day for weeks. What do you do all day when you wake up at 5am and can’t go back to sleep? Beats me. Add to that the fact my big work is done and, man, I’m going CRAZY.

Complaining finished

So, on a related note, for ya’ll who do not know, I going to go ahead and close out my service at the end of this month. All my work has been completed, with the goals either met or surpassed. I have a little more money coming in the mail, and that will hopefully be enough to fill a little of this epic hot season time with work. Otherwise, it’s just that time to transition. Anyway, I’ll see you all in America working a job I’m overqualified for. I mean, Robot technician at Chuckie Cheese? They still have robots there right? ((sigh) read your positive statement cards Brandon) Whew. Yeah right, I’m gonna be something or even better, SOMEBODY. Fist-pump, fist-pump, fist-pump, fist-pump, fist-sky, fist-sky, some-body, some-body, leg kick, leg kick. (What is happening here?) Little John is staring at me this very second wondering why I’m grinning at my screen. Hey John, if you joined the BFF club for once and finally read my blog, geez, you’d know you made the cut. You’re inside the Internet.

So, if you read my blog last time you know I’m a fan of Harrison Ford. Top two buttons optional right? Right. So, sorry guys, temporary recast happened the other day. Jonathan Taylor Thomas came in, and yeah, his top two buttons were buttoned up, but it was hot, and you know, he made the cut. BUT, no worries, b/c Harrison is on comeback day number two. (Is this even interpretable? Aw y’a famu? Ayi? Munna?) Would it make more sense if I said it was 108 midday, D’Angelo’s “Untitled” came on, and I just happened to see glimmer of something at the top of my toiletry bag. “Hey friend.” Anyway, like I said, comeback in progress.

I noticed the other day that my Facebook profile is basically sponsored by Homeward Bound, the movie. Hmmm, check privacy settings annnnnnnddddd, ok. I’m good.

Anyway ya’ll, I’m glad this week is over. I’ll be taking it easy and hope ya’ll will do the same.

BC

ITS HOT, LIKE OMGtime HOT. My Ch and B are burning in the sun. No D a B it (who understands this?). Who hates this blog so far? Check yo’self before you wriggity wreck yo’self.

Deanna L Walters introduced me to a blog called Zooborns. Go with your gut when imagining what this site is about………….. BABY ZOO ANIMALS! Holy H. Am I the only person looking at this blog and wanting immediately to squeeze and snuggle these animals to death. Ok, don’t log off. I’m sorry. I would do this out of pure love. Why does that urge come from? Is it b/c these little baby things are so tiny and my urge to pet and squeeze them is the size of the earth. I think it’s a matchup problem. I’ve been staring at the baby bobcat page for eons imagining tumbling around my front yard with my own bobcat, playing with his bobcat paws. Ill name him Jeffrey the bobcat or JB.

Moving On

Malalalalallalalalalalalalalialialia. Im back here trying to work it before the clock runs out. I’m probably going to try and come back the GA in July sometime. I have two goals to meet before leaving. One is to reach the 100 trash can mark for my trash pickup work. The other goal is to reach 20 soak pits. Both these things will probably happen in the next month, leaving me with a couple months to find myself before facing the cruel world. Maybe ill just do calf raises so I’ll own the 6th man spot for my men’s bball team from day one. I’ll come off the bench like Ben Gordon for the Bulls, J’ing it in people’s faces.

Upon returning to my site after vacation I was pleasantly surprised with the condition of my house. I had to kill one lizard. I’m sorry. It was a senseless act. The thing gunned it for the floor when my neighbor and I entered the room as opposed to heading out the hole in the top of the wall like the other lizards. I tried to scare it by screaming like a little girl but that didn’t work. Then I tried to scare it by jumping on my trunk and turning away fighting back tears. Didn’t work either. Finally I screamed, “KILL IT FUSENI!” with my upward screaming technique where the high pitched scream command builds to a shriek at the final syllable. I followed the wall to the door of the room and then to the front door. We sure kicked that lizards butt.

I’ve decided it’s time I entered the Harrison Ford stage of my life. Before I write this next sentence I’ll go ahead and say, “Leave me alone! It’s perfectly normal! Geez.” So, I have trimmed my chest hair for a while now. Dude, I’m not a hairless wonder and it gets long. Anywho, in Mali, during hot season, I’m growing that mess out and L-I-V-I-N with it. Booyah on your mind face. So far, I feel like I’m on the baby Viking level. I let you all know how it’s progressing. Just judge it by the pheromones coming out of my Facebook picture.

Ok, I’m out and about. Ya’ll take it easy and enjoy what the day has given you.

BC

ITS HOT, LIKE OMGtime HOT. My Ch and B are burning in the sun as I break norm code and walk shirtless around my concession. No D a B it (who understands this?). Who hates this blog so far? Check yo’self before you wriggity wreck yo’self.

Deanna L Walters introduced me to a blog called Zooborns. Go with your gut when imagining what this site is about………….. BABY ZOO ANIMALS! Holy H. Am I the only person looking at this blog and wanting immediately to squeeze and snuggle these animals to death. Don’t log off. I’m sorry. I would do this out of pure love. Why does that urge come from? Is it b/c these little baby things are so tiny and my urge to pet and squeeze them is the size of the earth. I think it’s a matchup problem. I’ve been staring at the baby bobcat page for eons imagining tumbling around my front yard with my own bobcat, playing with his bobcat paws. Ill name him Jeffrey the bobcat or JB.

Moving On

Malalalalallalalalalalalalalialialia. Im back here trying to work it before the clock runs out. I’m probably going to try and come back the GA in July sometime. I have two goals to meet before leaving. One is to reach the 100 trash can mark for my trash pickup work. The other goal is to reach 20 soak pits. Both these things will probably happen in the next month, leaving me with a couple months to find myself before facing the cruel world. Maybe ill just do calf raises so I’ll own the 6th man spot for my men’s bball team from day one. I’ll come off the bench like Ben Gordon for the Bulls, J’ing it in people’s faces.

Upon returning to my site after vacation I was pleasantly surprised with the condition of my house. I had to kill one lizard. I’m sorry. It was a senseless act. The thing gunned it for the floor when my neighbor and I entered the room as opposed to heading out the hole in the top of the wall like the other lizards. I tried to scare it by screaming like a little girl but that didn’t work. Then I tried to scare it by jumping on my trunk and turning away fighting back tears. Didn’t work either. Finally I screamed, “KILL IT FUSENI!” with my upward screaming technique where the high pitched scream command builds to a shriek at the final syllable. I followed the wall to the door of the room and then to the front door. We sure kicked that lizards butt.

I’ve decided it’s time I entered the Harrison Ford stage of my life. Before I write this next sentence I’ll go ahead and say, “Leave me alone! It’s perfectly normal! Geez.” So, I have trimmed my chest hair for a while now. Dude, I’m not a hairless wonder and it gets long. Anywho, in Mali, during hot season, I’m growing that mess out and L-I-V-I-N with it. Booyah on your mind face. So far, I feel like I’m on the baby Viking level. I let you all know how it’s progressing. Just judge it by the pheromones coming out of my Facebook picture.

Ok, I’m out and about. Ya’ll take it easy and enjoy what the day has given you.

BC

Living like a dull quarter.

I remember when 50cents a week was enough to shut me up and send me along to my business. Sometimes I’d put it in a jar my great grandmother gave to me, a medium size red jar where b/c you can’t see through it you can put stuff in there, forget about it after like 5 minutes, and then be surprised and happy every time you open it. “$2.50, oh man…..MAN!…..hey, how much does a plate at Ryans salad bar cost?” These are questions I was asking at age 7 people. You ever had those rolls? As my Louisiana friend would say, “Make you slap your momma.” Indeed. So, as a non parent I think I can wrap my mind around the whole allowance deal, and it’s purpose of creating fiscal responsibility and teaching kids to value patience and working for you money if chores were a condition. A kid named Andrew Allen ruined all that for me. How do you have over $200 in quarters in 1st grade? I thought I was on the set of Duck Tales (congrats to those that hear me on that reference). Crack open a quarter roll to pay for school lunch. I WANTED THAT! Its sad for a kid to see the unobtainable so early on you know. Andrew Allen, dream killer. How could I even come close to that man? My red jar held about $20 max and I had my left eye fixed on those hot rolls. Melt in your mouth. And butter………..Anyway, I’m actually going nowhere with this story really. But we do all remember those quarters right? Get you a shiny one, try and flip it up with your thumb and catch it, or for me, run after it. A good looking quarter was a hot commodity. Kind of like the Malian boutique guys, where you give them an old 1000CFA bill and they’re like “nah man.” Same with us right? I was looking for fresh 1988’s when I held my hand out at the end of every week. Even though every quarter is equally useful, when they’re shiny, you can put them out front, show them off a little bit believing it makes a difference in some way.

So, sometimes when I think about my role around here in town, I think of that old dull quarter. Once upon a time, myself and some other volunteers were having an argument with one of the PC staff. Basically, this person, who was actually Malian, was coming from the perspective that as white people we add in that extra sense of importance to the topic we are discussing with our communities and therefore we should be taking a large role in presentations we do. Now, I agree with this to a certain extent. These white people from NGO’s or other organizations that do drive bys on Mali, providing a service for a brief period of time or coming to build something, they are the shiny quarters, easily put out front and demanding of attention. They are unknown to the people and they are respected for where they come from. Just like any respected public figure right? Any person that is a transference object has that aura of intelligence and importance and that gives them that window where yes, they can speak and have people’s attention. Not knowing a person makes that transference that much easier don’t you think? BUT, PC volunteers only have that window for a short time b/c as we spend years in a place, become integrated and known, the aura fades and we move from the pulpit to the congregation……as it should be I think. So, when I hear ppl make the argument we should be leading presentations I say, “no, I disagree.” The more integrated we become the more we become like that dull quarter, no longer the shine and show in the forefront. It is at this stage where our utility is in planning and assisting, passing the role of presenter and medium to the people to community members. You want to see an effective presentation, it is as easy as sitting and watching a knowledgeable formateur speak fluently and with humor to people that live in the same village or even next door to them. I have done it, and it never ceases to impress me. That’s the whole purpose of the positive deviant, is it not? It is hard to imagine any amount of integration one can accomplish over a two-year period that can ever come close to that connection, those deep-seated ties. My opinion.

Work is ok these days. Soak pits are the main things. The porous rocks we put in these things are breaking the bank. We’ve done 10 on this current project, but have done around 16 in all. We are now just scrounging for more resources, more ways to get rocks. We hope to make it to 20 on this current stretch. Also, we are expanding the trash pickup little by little. My guys just bought 5 barrels that will make 10 more trashcans. They are in the process of being cut and painted right now. With this project, we hope to reach 100 before I leave. We have 60 right now.

Alright, ya’ll almost just lost me to the well. I always thought it would happen one day, and just 1 minute ago I went outside to pull water, lost grip of the rope and just like reaching out to catch someone in the movies, I swear I caught that thing (in the midst of a small freak out) at the very end right as it was about to go down. Almost lost my shoe down the hole too. Scared me to death. Mostly b/c my neighbors would have been pretty pissed off. I always thought things slowed down in a moment of panic with your senses heightening, but no, my reaction was total chaos with my first instinct to literally drop my body, part on the ground and part over the well hole trying to slow the rope zipping down the hole, grasping frantically at anything near me. Agghhhh. I think my heart is still pounding.

Little Sam is good. My neighbors have taken over a larger role in looking after him since I’m low on money these days.

Ok, I need to get off this Internet. I’ve been good for a couple of weeks, but this week has been a slow one, with me finding myself spending more time than I like on here. Plus I’m downloading music and the effort’s taking DAYS.

Ya’ll relax and keep taking it easy.

Brandon

So, its been a while................since I've been in Mali.  I know.  Can time pass any faster.  UGH.  I just look up shaking my head like, "No, not moving any faster.......fine!" (fist shake frowny face) Ill just build my own front porch and brew my own sweet tea Mali!  I made some cold sweet tea for my friend who works at a boutique and he gave me one of those, "Oh yeah, ummmm, this is good/ I hate this more than anything.....ever " comments.  Too many ....... in this paragraph.  Moving on.

Well, I got a dog, literally, two days ago.  Named him Sam.  He's tan with a white belly and, well, he barks all the time.  That sucks, BUT, he's cute as he prances around and chews on my finger and has that "its hot" pant/grin.  BTW, ya'll want to send more of that anti-bacterial hand soap?  I'm looking to get a leash for him, and then we'll just stroll. "Sidi, what the heck is up with that thing on your dogs neck?"  "Don't worry Momadou, its a little thing we Americans call contained freedom.  He loves it. Trust me (wink)" Ill buy him little baby fish from the market and toss them in his baby mouth.  We'll both laugh and laugh.

Work is going alright.  Today we are starting to search for rocks for our soak pit project.  I've finally made the starting lineup of pit diggers.  As you'd expect, whenever it's my turn, I come leaping out of nowhere and dig until my chest burns, leaving with a satisfied grin on my face, "What........what was that Chaka? I thought so.  Booyahkacha!"  It all goes really well.  We are planning to do about 20 pits in all, which should keep me busy every few days for 3 hours while making my back strong like Fed Ex did in the early 2000s.  Yes.  Other than that, I guess I'll just try to get the porridge making back started again at the CSCOM.  It has been awhile with us lacking sufficient funds to do anything, so I'm ready to start back.  

Happy New Years everyone!  Can't believe it's almost the new year.  What will my resolution be?  I don't know yet.  Thinking about just learning that first little hop around thing break dancers do before they get down to it, and then just hyping the crowd at parties, doing that, and then stopping saying, "I don't know, I don't know guys, it just doesn't feel right tonight."  My legend will grow as ppl think I can actually break dance but just have great restraint.

Ya'll take it easy

B

Problem- Closed economies, countries that aren’t labeled “free market democracies,” countries where those in power feel that nationalizing important elements of the economy will end up improving the well being for many of the people, but stepping on the toes of multinationals, countries (or states) where proponents of certain ideologies believe the public sector is too large. Solution: - Take advantage of a crisis, either natural or created (often military intervention) to bring the country’s inhabitants into a state of disarray, completely unable to act, react, leaving them defenseless as a new order is instated. - Change the economic policy. Privatize anything that can be (ANYTHING, even water, including rainwater, right Bechtel? Right), Liberalize trade barriers, Deregulation, Cutback spending on social programs and make sweeping cutbacks in the public sector, take the central bank out of state hands, etc. - Torture and oppress if needed to enact the new policy (Frame inspired by the book “The Shock Doctrine” by Naomi Klein) There it is. There is the brief history lesson, the frame that can be placed on US foreign policy in, oh let’s see, Chile, Bolivia, Argentina, Brazil, Russia, Iraq, Poland, China, Indonesia, Sri Lanka etc., and hey, lets go ahead and throw New Orleans in there as our home experiment in exploiting a crisis for money. Man, I’m about sick of hearing about Iraq, and even more sick of hearing it talked about as “oh well, the Bush administration just bungled the pre war evidence and then the rebuilding.” Crap. This stupid war is just a repeat of what has happened time and time again in all those countries listed above and more. Some would say that the presence of torture is always a tell tale sign of economic oppression. Not like it’s unclear. Thirty thousands bombs dropped over a two week period in 2003 as well as twenty thousand cruise missiles. That was just a short period at the beginning. We destroyed the public sector and knocked out most communication. We enter this environment and made Iraq the most open economy in the world. We sell off everything at ridiculous discounts. We make this policy where companies keep 100% or profits, pay a ridiculously low corporate tax, make no re-investments in the country, and where Iraq companies are all but prevented from even being at the table. As the wave of privatization takes place, the companies coming in not only don’t do the quality work they promise, but they don’t include the Iraqi people in the re-building and leave before finishing the jobs. I mean, what came first, the insurgents or the blowing up of the Iraqi economy and mass loss of jobs and hope? It wasn’t the insurgents. The culture was looted and the education system torn down despite the high literacy rate of the country’s inhabitants (even higher than many US states). All this was done in absolute ignorance. It was just complete and utter ideological, ethnocentric, xenophobic ignorance to anything about the Iraq culture, and what the response could possibly be. The death rates are unbelievable, and the torture gruesome and unforgivable. Lord knows it has no impact on keeping “us” safe. Al Qaeda, the Mahdi army and other groups weren’t in operation in Iraq prior to the economic and political hand dealt by the US. The “one percent doctrine” is complete stupidity at its worst, proving to be the worst kind of fear mongering used to cloak rabid opportunism. If you disagree with this, just go to the library and buy a book of any merit on our involvement in the Southern Cone countries in South America and look for the parallels. “The world is a messy place, and someone has to clean it up.” –Condoleeza Rice Ummmmmmmm. (sip) Drink that in. Man, that is just straight up. Thanks for that Condy. Ridiculous. When I hear politicians speak these days, it’s like I am standing outside of my first Calculus class in high school nervous about how complicated/convoluted it would be, and then upon entering and sitting down, my broken record teacher keeps telling me that it’s as simple as 1+1=2 even though it’s clear that it’s not that simple as I’m pulling my hair w/ periodic temper tantrums and a little crying. I don’t care about people’s jobs, chain of command, bureaucracy, or anything else. To ignore this blind opportunism and raping of nations for profit, FOR PROFIT, making slim to no efforts for a team effort of rebuilding infrastructure, an effort for creating a legitimate democracy, an effort to create a self sustaining economy in Iraq, all the while covering it with a sweet whipped cream topping of Orwellian language, conscious deceit, deflection, and avoidance……to do this without protesting, without whistle blowing, is such a despicable display of criminal negligence and deceit, those involved should be subject to more scrutiny, more blowback than a “oh, we just messed that one up” (shrug). Lets not forget that Rumsfeld, Cheney, Rice, and Bremer were all involved in the absolute debacle that was the Russia transition to a free market economy back in the early 90’s. The suffering, poverty, disease, and death resulting from the greed that took place in that little failed project was what had the Russians looking upon ol’ KGB Putin as a savior, someone who could at least put bread back on the table. I mean, how many dead, tortured, or diseased bodies does it take to have it break our nationalistic stupor down a little so we can realize this free market experiment doesn’t work. Here’s the homework. Name me one country where a this absolute free market experiment, Milton Friedman style, has worked, has been enforced without repression, and has improved the lives of a majority of the people living there. As far as our commitment to “democracy,” the US, during the first year of the occupation, began stopping local elections organized in various cities around Iraq and decided to step in and appoint the people who would take these posts, most being Saddam era military men. Then, even though feeling pressure by our claims at the beginning, Bush and Bremer eventually backed out and decided Iraq’s first “sovereign” government would be appointed. Nice. Interestingly enough, this about-face might have had something to do with a poll conducted during this period by Washington-based International Republican Institute. It asked Iraqis what kind of politicians they would vote for if they had the chance. The results were a wake up call for the Green Zone corporatist kids: 49% of the Iraqi respondents said they would vote for a party promising to create “more government jobs.” Asked if they would vote for the party promising to create “more private sector jobs,” only 4.6% said yes. Asked if they would vote for a party promising to “keep coalition forces until security is good,” only 4.2% said they would. To lay it out simply, if Iraqis had been allowed to freely elect the government, and if that government had real power, Washington would have had to give up on two of the war’s main goals: access to Iraq for U.S. military bases and full access to Iraq for U.S. multinational corporations. Huh, I remember hearing “democracy,” “freedom,” “liberation,” so much on TV I about went crazy. Sounds pretty hollow looking back on it, but that’s nothing new for war propaganda I guess. Also, lets not forget the Iraqi protests began as organized expressions of free speech crying for a voice in the elections and a recreation of jobs cut during the massive privatization, unheard of under Saddam, and only later turned into violence by portions of the population. You wouldn’t think Al Qaeda would have been allowed to create chaos in a country whose people were being included in the rebuilding process, were employed, and allowed to vote for their future. When looking at the electroshock experiments gone bad from the 1950’s work of Ewen Cameron, experiments eventually funded by the CIA in hopes of finding ways to break down prisoners to extract information, one can look at a quote from one of his colleagues as an indicator of how fitting a metaphor the results of those horrible events that took place at McGill University’s Allen Memorial Institute are for the effects of this disaster capitalism complex supported by some in our country. The quote is as follows: “The Freudians had developed all these subtle methods of peeling the onion to get at the heart of the problem.” “Cameron wanted to drill right through and to hell with the layers. But, as we later discovered, the layers are all there is.” From the words of Naomi Klein, “Cameron thought he could blast away his patients’ layers and start again; he dreamed of creating brand new personalities. But his patients weren’t reborn: they were confused, injured, and broken.” As for the Iraqi people, I feel for the overwhelming majority of you as you struggle for jobs and your country’s identity back from the hands or corporatism almost cemented in your lives by the constitution the US wrote for you protecting business interests from all future leaders. If our entire country was smoldering rubble, our jobs stolen from us and given at a discount to foreign corporations, our culture ripped from us, all in the name of “freedom,” we’d be doing the same thing I’m sure. But we got rid of Saddam. So what. What happened before and after that should make us ashamed b/c we just dropped the ball, and for what? I just hope that after 30+ years of this experiment in the free market we will stop pursuing it in its most unregulated form, and will begin to understand the usefulness of combining Keynesian and free market thought, which would almost certainly be more stable, and would prevent much of suffering we’ve seen so far created by the economic shock treatments seen around the world. Can’t say I’m crossing my fingers. Seems like now we are also interested in preemptive reconstruction with the US State Department having launched a new branch, the Office of Reconstruction and Stabilization, a year and a half into the Iraq occupation, where the government began paying private contractors to draw up detailed plans to reconstruct twenty-five different countries that may, for some reason, find themselves the target of US sponsored destruction (preemptive strikes). Look out Venezuela and Iran. Apparently, corporations are lined up on “pre-signed contracts” so that they are ready to jump into action as soon as the next disaster strikes. No matter how much we go back on this idea and that idea trying to make “right,” whatever that means these days, I don’t think anything will cover up the filth at the foundations of this undertaking. In New Orleans, the same rebuilding crew in Iraq, Halliburton’s KBR unit, Blackwater, Bechtel, Parsons, etc, were given no bid contracts to rebuild. Sadly enough, the fact that the same errors as those made in Iraq were instantly repeated in New Orleans should put to rest the claim that Iraq’s occupation was merely a string of mishaps and mistakes marked by incompetence and lack of oversight. Congress found “significant overcharges, wasteful spending, and mismanagement” in the contract work. When the same mistakes are repeated over and over again, it’s time to consider the possibility that they are not mistakes at all. Killing in the name of what? You tell me BC P.S. This isn’t Peace Corps’ opinion

It’s Thanksgiving night, 11:41 pm. One of those nights where the first try at sleep just doesn’t seem to work. As PC does at times, one of those moods has swooped down and snatched me up. Am I sad? I don’t know. Maybe. At no other point in my life have I been so frequently snagged by this feeling or mood or straight neutrality like the fence is actually the wide road and the two sides are just these thin little things I balance on from time to time and then fall off of back to the middle and resume my steady casual stroll w/o urgency or sluggishness. What I do know is my body sits, it lies down, it strolls, and my mind runs a continuous marathon down this street and that, coming back and then leaving again. I’m stretchin but I can’t grab it man. Ain’t no use being satisfied with what’s in front of my face in times like these, b/c I’m just testing my reach again, seeing if I can get a grip on the things out of my grasp. I’m sitting in the basketball locker room in 10th grade waiting for the warm-ups and the game to start but they never do, and I’m sitting and sitting in this anxiety and apprehension. That what these moods feel like at times. Don’t worry though. I frame it as a character building exercise. The re-frame is key right? Hay-zeus. The re-frame is a pretty straight coping mechanism no doubt, but it’s not the easiest one. It’s not like that sweet blame game. I say this just b/c all of us here do it a lot I think. I guess I’m like anybody else. When I blame someone or I hear someone else do it, I sometimes wonder what’s all behind it. Now, sometimes nothings behind it but telling the truth about someone who’s done something wrong or who’s messed up. BUT, sometimes it’s something different from that right? Being in PC makes this a little more obvious in my opinion and its just natural I start applying it to memories of the states. I got some internship memories that might fit the bill. Sometimes ill sit here and listen to my own crap and other ppl’s crap and it seems like I’m just hearing ppl who are questioning their abilities, who’ve reached a point where things aren’t so comfortable anymore, who may not know where to go next, who are frustrated where they are, frustrated being here, etc. At least that’s how it feels in PC. I catch myself at this crap all the time. Get pushed to a place where you aren’t comfortable anymore, where you are unsure, you naturally just throw that crap on somebody else rather than face it sometimes. Suddenly its, “hey, I’m doing all I can here.” Playing hot potato with those insecurities, trying to feel that safe feeling of being off the hook again even if you’re the one who placed yourself on it in the first place. I just think it’s interesting to watch how it plays out. Nothing wrong with coping and everybody has their own unique ways of doing it. I do think it goes to far sometimes with PC volunteers in blaming Malians for our individual struggles, and I’m certainly not immune to it. Pride is a killer and a keeper over here. Sometimes we are like a bunch of little kids wearing our little Superman Halloween outfits with a little Velcro attached cape. Momma says, “Now, ya’ll take off that cape now. You are not really Superman and you know it.” Every one of us nods, “I know momma” and we do know. Nobody takes the cape off. A little Velcro will have you holding on. You better believe it. I’m a believer in tone man. Granted, my belief is based on nothing, air, no real experience of my own, but I swear, I believe it just as a theory in my head. I think when you bring a group of folks together to do something, to accomplish a task, you always have an opportunity to set a tone. As the tone setter, you can frame the task, the work, however you want. And I think this tone, the tone that is set at the beginning and strengthened by respect and belief in the tone setter and the task, will affect all the work that happens. I think for maximum impact, the tone needs to be set at the beginning b/c that is when the workers, the partners in the task, are w/o clear expectations, and willing to strive for bars set up in front of them. The tone can be maintained throughout the task/work, obviously able to loosen and stretch once established as part of the supports upon which the task/work sits. I think the frame through which people view a task or their general work makes all the difference in how they approach it and how successful it is. One of my biggest criticisms of PC is the complete lack of a consistent tone set from the beginning of our work to the end. We came in to this experience knowing we were working with a government organization and would be receiving training in a particular field or service, training we would eventually use to help our assigned village. Instead of going on about how I feel PC failed in taking hold of our willingness and initial expectations of accountability and a job like environment, and how the obvious dismissal and under funding of PC work by the government basically renders our services borderline impotent at times to create sustained projects, leaving us as cheap soft diplomacy masqueraded as development work, and how the only honest attempt at integration and understanding of other cultures by a government organization seems to be disdained by some people in that same government, I’ll just throw an analogy out there. I spent my whole life up to high school dreaming about playing varsity basketball. All of us young guys did. Some of us eventually made it played a few years of pretty good basketball. Our coach was a great guy and a good coach, but I look back on those days sometimes and I wonder what we could have been if we’d just had our commitment harnessed more and the tone had been set differently where we were pushed harder and forced to really reach our potential as individual players and as a team. The biggest disappointment of PC is they’ve got group after group of educated and willing young people ready to take that leap and see what they are made of. PC, with its no funding and moderate tone/training leaves us feeling more like college kids on a study abroad than employees, and we’ll all sit looking back years from now and wonder what could have been if we’d just had a jump off point other than the usual one size fits all problems explanation of “oh, it’s just part of the experience, you know, making it for yourself.” That’s crap in my opinion. We’re too busy bustin’ a cap(italism) in people’s ass and calling laissez faire democracy to give a damn about giving a damn, about giving a dime to develop working systems of development backed by empowerment and respect. There’s a bottom line for you. OR, maybe I just need to read my paragraph above about blaming. Hey, we’ve all got our coping mechanisms. Lord knows I’m in trouble when I roll my eyes at my own continuing political commentary for feeling redundant at times as if my opinions hold more weight than the air on which they seemingly float out. B

I have a question for all of ya’ll. I’m not really expecting anyone to care enough about my blog to spend time to respond but, you know, what the hey. Here it is: Do you think pure objective thought is possible (free from personal prejudices or biases)? OR Do you feel that all our thoughts, perceptions about things are inherently subjective for the overwhelming majority (I’m thinking of the possible exception of Buddhist monks or the like), if not all, of people? The reason I ask is b/c I’ve had conversations recently about his topic, and people’s thoughts and opinions on it vary. For me, I currently answer yes to the latter question. In my opinion, I can’t see how we can get “ourselves” completely out of anything we do. I think everything that makes us “us” over time, including teachers, books, experience, what sort of community we live in, environment we live in, etc. affects everything we do and how we think about everything we encounter, making it impossible to reach a state of impartial thinking, unless, and this can be debated, there are some of us who have reached the discipline of say, a Buddhist monk, and are able to rise above all that. Yet still, even for the Buddhist monk, is it truly possible to leave the fundamental makeup of your personality or your teachers personality, leave all that makes you “you,” leaving literally everything behind for impartiality? I don’t know, and probably never will. I’d like to think it’s possible and I thoroughly enjoy books on Buddhist thought. I’m just interested to hear what people think. For me, especially given my opinions of things change frequently, I could very well be blinding myself of certain ways of thinking about these questions. It’s just when I hear people talk about objective thinking or objective opinions, I think, “that’s impossible.” How can anyone even know if they have reached such a state? There is no bell in the sky, shot of pleasure chemicals through the brain, crystal-shining purity as words leave your mouth. I feel people suffer from this subjective objectivity, thinking they are being objective, feeling assured in stating it out loud or to themselves, comforted with the credibility it supposedly gives their thoughts/ideas/actions, yet blind to all these things that are biasing or prejudicing their conclusions. How do you truly arrive at objectivity? Do you somehow put your thought in a math equation that always equals objectivity? Do you arrive there if you only speak things in a French accent spoken only in the most southern cities of France? Is there some way of laundering your thoughts like money to make them clean from bias? How can you call a thought objective if you are the one who makes the judgment? Who knows? Ya’ll tell me. And of course, my last question is this. Why have we come to the point where we can’t admit subjectivity? Seems like ideas are only taken as credible if accompanied by this “objective” cloaked pursuit. As the book “The Crack in the Cosmic Egg,” introduced to me by Che Ring, says, if the unknown can be viewed as “a forest,” and what we know “a clearing in that forest,” the scientists and thinkers looking to expand that clearing, looking to discover, are looking at the forest with a “gardener’s eye.” A situation where the questions you ask affect the answers you receive, and the answers you are looking for affect the questions you ask. As I’ve said before, is it accurate to view the world as a place, as existence just waiting for our continuing Easter egg hunt where we uncover more pure truths laying in wait? Is that how it is, or are we biasing the “truths” we find by the questions we ask, or the answers we seek? B

This is from some things I’ve been reading lately: The Immigration Debate -US Bureau of Labor Statistics has reported that by 2008, there will be 5 million more jobs in the US than ppl to do them. This is after counting in the amount of illegal immigrants prospected to come in. -UCLA North American Integration and Development Center released a study that found undocumented immigrants contributed at least $300 billion per year to the US GDP. -The state of Arizona gets $8 billion in economic impact annually from the relationship with Mexico. That’s profit, not costs. Mexico makes $5.5 billion. The US clearly comes out sweeter in the deal. -Thunderbird, the American Graduate School of International Management, learned that in Arizona, Mexican immigrants paid nearly $600million in federal taxes and sales taxes in 2002…..Mexican immigrants use about $250million in social services such as Medicaid and food stamps….Another $31 million in uncompensated health care. That leaves a profit of $319 million for the state of Arizona. -The average annual wage for Arizonians is $28,355; for the state’s Mexican immigrants it’s $12,963. -The total buying power of Arizona’s Mexican immigrants is estimated at $4.18 billion. -The state’s Mexican immigrants spend an estimated $1.5 billion in mortgage payments and rent annually. -Mexican tourists and visitors spent $962 million in Arizona in 2001, while state residents spent about $328 million in Mexico. -Remittances from the state’s Mexican immigrants to their homeland reached $486 million last year, with those transactions generating about $57 million in fees to Arizona banks. Could we possibly take the case or Arizona, and assume that this may be the case, in at least some ways, in other states with high immigrant worker populations? I think we can make that leap. So, the question becomes: How valid is the monetary argument in the fight against immigrant workers? Lower wages, cheaper products as a result of their labor, unclaimed federal taxes, unclaimed state taxes, unused Social Security. Also, what about sales tax, gas tax, rent, cable bills, car bills, electric bills, and everything else ppl consume in this country. It becomes increasingly hard to argue the “drain” on our economy argument, or the “drain” on our federal funds. See “unnecessary subsidies for special interests” for the answer to who’s draining our federal funds. Feel how you wish about the legality of the immigrants choices in crossing the border, but don’t speak too quickly w/o looking into political, social, and overall living conditions in Mexico, Central America and South America and how you feel about ppl dealing with extreme poverty, oppression, or subjugation. The difference in the GDP of Mexico and the US is the greatest of any two countries sharing a border in the world, yet think of all we gain from our relationship with that country. And of course I’ll mention my favorite part of the debate: Where do we attack the immigration “problem?” Seems that overwhelmingly, people are saying, “The immigrants themselves!” Is this really the place we should focus most of our efforts. It is my opinion that nothing will change with this issue until the majority of the focus is on the business owners. As long as there are the available work opportunities, people will seek them out. I know it’s tough for us to demonize a white person living in the suburbs, but this is where the heart of the problem lies. Crack down on the business owners who are looking for that cheap labor, who undercut the government, assist in illegal activities under our current laws, who are looking to exploit the immigrant workers and get rid of jobs for local citizens at the same time. Outside of that, with any legislation passed by Congress, I feel we owe Mexican citizens all the help we can give them for all the profits we gain through their exploitation in border factories and other profit producing exploitation situations in or outside America, as well as work to help eradicate the sometimes overlooked or condoned atrocities happening to these travelers by “coyotes” or factory managers and overlookers. Obviously, working to stop the unfair exploitation, the “externalities” (costs for operation, be it one of many things like pollution, or in this case poverty and oppression, etc., corporations put on ppl and societies to deal with, pay the cost for), would be a good start. To do otherwise would be to continue the silent and ignored oppression of a people we really rely on in ways we don’t even realize. It’s not going to be easy. Some might say it’s our responsibility in a way, to help those not born into a situation as lucky as ours. Let’s not pretend we ourselves did anything to deserve this, so why are we hording our unearned comforts and opportunities and looking down on other folks for not being able to pull themselves up to achieve their own opportunity and freedom? Who knows? If only it was as easy as discipline, desire, and hard work, similar attributes of someone, outside the extremes (i.e. drug runner who is in the minority) willing to leave their family forever to risk their lives in travel to get to the US for underpaid endless work just to be able to send some money back and keep their families alive and above water. That’s family values and sacrifice. Think that’s an exaggeration and you are fooling yourself. B

The election is now over. I know we’ve all had our various reactions to the outcome. It hasn’t been too surprising the negative reaction of some, b/c I can envision a similar reaction by the winning side (sorry for talking like the US consists of opposing teams) if the outcome had been different. Guess it has just had me thinking about things, especially with the terms socialism, communism thrown out as accusations from one side with fascism coming from the other (just examples of the many labels throw out by both sides). Would I be going too far by saying that people have a basic fundamental “moral” nature, outside of those on the pathological extremes? Now, I’m going to avoid even thinking about digging deeper and postulating some moral generalizations for all people, BUT, I feel that each person, in their own way, has a “moral” nature, a “moral” response when faced with a certain situation outside of the unperceived or perceived systems of institutions and structures applying pushes and tugs to our perceptions. For example, if you came across a starving child on walk one day and that child was holding a piece of food, would you take it from him or her if no authorities were around? I would think, outside of the extremes, fundamental in our nature is this built in empathy that would prevent us from committing any harmful action toward the child, and if anything, have our thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions go out to the child. Can we all agree that this is more or less true? What then becomes interesting to me, and has me constantly thinking and questioning, is the fact that given the above, when placed into a structural system, a system where a certain group of options are considered “available,” where there is inserted the mostly unseen push and pulls of our percepts via the various cultural faucets, ideological faucets, political faucets, economic faucets, etc. about the nature of things, this basic “moral” nature idea begins to change. It becomes altered depending on what environment you are in and which ideas or thoughts from which faucet sticks. The example of the starving child can be used to look at this (excuse its extreme or extraordinary nature). The fact of the matter is we see people saying, “yes” to the question above all the time (as well as other questions) and they (we) don’t even realize it. For some, people who are unaware they could possibly be going against some basic instinctive “moral” response within themselves that might occur in the ideal impartial, unbiased scenario, could, depending on a certain ideology, become convinced that it is they who are the victims, not, lets say, the child in this scenario or the people or things, metaphorically speaking, that the child represents. Such a shift in thinking can occur as we become saturated with ideas, conscious or not, of moral order, deserving or undeserving people/ societies/ or situations, what role our money plays in the lives of others, what role business plays, etc (ideas about welfare are an example). These ideas, prior to marinating in our minds, are nipped and tucked and filtered by the community, societal structures and institutions in place around us. It is just amazing to me how we can leap the great gap between the initial point “A,” our basic instinctive “moral” response to a situation free from the constraints of ideology and the structures responsible for its formation, to point “B,” the response of the molded ideology of a person within a certain system who for one reason or another has adjusted his percepts to a position where the “A” response may be considered immoral or less moral than “B.” (terms I am cringing to throw out during all this due to their subjective nature). The process of indoctrination really is amazing along with how no matter the situation, it is our perceptions that truly dictate our experience. I am not saying here that this leap, this change is necessarily bad or wrong. In my opinion, that is for each person to work out within himself or herself within the environment they live. For me, I just think it is worthwhile, at least for me, to think about this process. How do we want to be within our particular environments? Do we find ourselves responding to similar situations differently depending on who is involved and where they take place? Are there things pulling and pushing us towards a particular way of thinking, and if so, what are they and how are they doing it? Is it ok with us that this is happening? Where do our convictions come from? Why do we feel so strongly about them? You know, these are just some of the questions that pop into my head from time to time. As for this little village life I live, things are ok. I’ve basically titled my life here currently as “The Project Release.” I’m just taking a step back, letting the things we’ve done sit in the caring hands of the village and waiting to see what slips through the cracks between their fingers. For instance, the health committee I started is now basically dead. We haven’t had a meeting in months. This is completely ok. I’m just looking to see where the village enthusiasm lies. As the smoke clears, Ill come in with reinforced vigor to boost up the things that remain. Y’all take it easy Brandon

“There appears to be a conscience in mankind which severely punishes the man who does not somehow and at some time, at whatever cost to his pride, cease to defend and assert himself, and instead confess himself fallible and human. Until he can do this, an impenetrable wall shuts him out from the living experience of feeling himself a man among men. Here we find a key to the great significance of true, unstereotyped confession- a significance known in all the initiation and mystery cults of the ancient world, as is shown by a saying from the Greek mysteries: Give up what thou hast, and then thou wilt receive.” -Carl Jung Election is coming up soon, huh? I’m a Democrat, so I’m breathing pretty easy over here. I’ll say though, as much as I like a bottle of white wine and my Boys II Men “II” CD while I’m thinking of Barack Obama, I’m not going to go ahead and jump off that “Barack will save America” cliff. What he is appeals to me for sure. He’s worldly (having lived in Indonesia and having family in Kenya), very educated, experienced with people of races and classes up and down the ladder, he gives America immediate foreign relations cred, and he seems to be a critical thinker. Also, lets face it, his election would symbolize the continuing slooooow erosion of our country’s darkest, disgusting, most shameful, yet ever present characteristic: overt and covert racism. Hearing of my dad’s calls to some potential voters has been disheartening. However, with every partisan shift that takes place, the party in charge will seem to caress its follower’s values with a soft touch, a touch that will feel like sandpaper to the opposition party member down the street. That’s just how things are when a variety of worldviews exist amongst people in the same country, all with their own prioritized hierarchy of values. What I’m saying here is, Democrats, lets not get crazy here. Lets just thank our lucky stars that the President doesn’t have such over reaching power, no thanks to the previous administration’s attempts, to flip the whole system on its head. Now, as much as I think things have gone haywire, moving us further from the original Constitutional intentions, there is no need pushing us further away by widening that hole that exists in the current system of checks and balances in order to try and make things right. Suddenly I feel like I have to take the conservative stance, “protect the constitution!” after the neo-cons and the “revolving door” gang have strayed from their own party with their brilliantly wrong “Unitary Executive Theory.” So, while it seems nearly impossible to bridge the partisan gap, seemingly due sometimes to the sheer stubbornness of both sides and their commitment to demonizing the opposition, all we can hope for is some of those baby steps toward mutual understanding and fighting for our mutual interests. So, I tripped and looked like an idiot today. There are rocks everywhere man. Anyway, only like 4 people saw it. It’s always a weird scenario post trip or half fall. You have to really commit to your reaction in order to avoid that super awkward half embarrassed/half trying to remain cool post action. It all began as I was entering in the groove of my fluid Brandon strut leaving my concession. You know, its starts with these slow initial first steps, hands could be in or around the pockets, head down. After a few steps it slowly transforms as my head moves up, eyes squinting a little bit, shoulders move back, and lock into the casual stroll stride with a slight rock at times, Nas and Lauryn Hill singing “If I ruled the world”. ROCK. It ended up being one of those more than a stubbed toe/ less than a face plant deals. I ended up having to just fling one leg out to save my face from the dirt. Like Tony coming up from a split, I shot up back to standing and began scanning my periphery for living beings. Naturally, they were there. “I ni sogoma!” was all I could muster followed by a dumb smile and a little laugh. Walking strut has to be aborted after the trip. It’s just the rules. I might as well have been following an irritated teacher to sixth grade lunch playing the quiet game as I walked the rest of the way to the Mayor’s Office. All I have to say is at least I wasn’t a tree like undergrad attempting to jump on a brick sidewall but instead face planting and sliding back down the pine straw on his stomach towards where he came from. Ok, that was me too. The slide back down was increased by the fact that my pants kind of stayed in the same place, just bunching up around my knees as my body slid down. (Sigh) If you know me and my laid back nature, you’ll understand that for my friends that were present, seeing me in this state of total embarrassment was like a baseball fan seeing a no hitter. Anyway, GOOOOOOO DAWWWGGGSSS. Robert? You there? Big game this weekend. I’ll be watching the lines of progression via ESPN Gamecast. It’s the only way to watch. Trust me. Word on the street is Urban Meyer included the UGA celebration last year in his book. And by word on the street, I mean my parents, b/c you know they are all over the streets. Man. This guy took it to heart huh? Hopefully Tim Tebow will stop the water works long enough to put a game in on Sat. Ill say that the last thing you want to see on the other side of the field is a guy who literally weeps every time he loses b/c you know he’s just this raging intensity monster. He’ll keep coming at you, even after the whistle. “Whoaa! Its just football Tim. Just football. (slowly backing up) Psssss, ref, blow the whistle again for the love of God!” However, he’s a competitor and good player, so I respect him for that.

Hope all of you are happy and doing well

BC

You know, I’m sitting here today allowing my mind to hop and skip from topic to topic. I’ll admit, over time I’ve grown to really enjoy sitting in my house and thinking about various things (excluding what on earth I’ll be doing post PC; too stressful) while listening to music. It has come to be a necessary prerequisite to any blog that I write. I’ll go ahead and apologize for alienating every reader of this blog (except Che Boom) with today’s topic. What is the topic? Why do I feel like Charles “Che” Ringer and I are the only people on earth who appreciate Silverchair (the band for those pre 90’s folks, 3 members)? I love music. I like everything. I mean, look at the previous blog down there. From Sufjan Stevens to Three 6 Mafia, Built to Spill to Erykah Badu, Rage Against the Machine to Sigur Ros, a band from Iceland that I can’t even understand, Coheed and Cambria and The Mars Volta to Iron and Wine, etc. I bought Korn’s first CD in the same few month period I bought my first John Coltrane CD. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is best when listened to after Brian McKnight’s very first album (pre Back at One and all the other MTV hits), or at least that’s what I thought in middle school. I think my taste in music is pretty varied, meaning, outside of old old country I’m pretty much into it all. All that said, if asked to name my top 5-10 favorite bands of all time, I’d have a hard time not putting Silverchair on the list. Am I hearing an amen Che? Why you ask? Simple. Frogstomp, Neon Ballroom, and Diorama. I could just end it right there. Three albums, coming out between 1995 and early 2000s. People, these kids came out as 15 yr olds with Frogstomp and were one of the bigger bands at the time. “Israel’s Son.” Forget about it. What 15 yr. old can even think of a name like that for a song. Four or so years later they come out with Neon Ballroom, one of the most underrated rock albums of the 90’s in my opinion. “Ana’s Song,” “Miss you love,” “Black Tangled Heart,” and “Point of View.” Good luck on you descent from the stars. I’ve been there since 95. I found the eternal field of life while listening to “Miss you love.” That album was when they started working with a background orchestra some. One of the greatest idea’s of the past 20 years. When Silverchair does it, it makes Metallica’s “S&M” look ridiculous. Fast forward to Diorama, the most underrated album I’ve ever seen, and you have an album that could be put into the argument for best of 2000 to 2010 one day. Orchestra backed, Silverchair sneak attacked me via Amazon.com ending in my abandonment of “self” for the greater impartial affirmation of all existence. I wasn’t hungry for a week after it came in the mail, and then I realized in the middle of “Tuna in the Brine” that I was both naked and completely satiated. Power, only matched by Usher’s “Confessions.” These guys are undeniable folks. I love new stuff, kind of neo-alternative, independent, deflating the heavy production type sound. Half my Ipod is that stuff. I love the 90’s too, with all those great bands, rap and R&B artists. But, Silverchair is just undeniable in my eyes. I look at people like they are crazy when they say they only know them from their first album in 95 and then begin talking with my ‘bows and fists. These people are missing out on two of the better rock albums I own. Call Charles Ringer. Go to Best Buy. Start shrieking “NEON BALLROOM, DIORAMA PLEASE!” in the parking lot. You can thank me later. If you don’t, I’ll just turn my nose up and pretend you know nothing about music. (Handshake) B

I was thinking about CK1 the other day. One of those times where you smell someone pass and immediately know what cologne they are wearing. Now that I’ve actually written that out, it’s a little amazing, maybe a little sad too, that all these years later I can still recognize that smell. I never wore CK1 b/c I was on the other side of the two-way battle back in middle school with my two sprays of Coolwater on the wrist and one on the neck before I went to school each day. I guess, at least in Conyers, GA, Polo was coming off the bench in those days. I think, depending on whom you ask, I might have the worst or best reasons for choosing Coolwater over the other brands. To be completely honest, I was watching BET one day (my parents blocked MTV) and somehow I found out that Snoop Dogg wore Coolwater. So OBVIOUSLY, I had to wear it too. Referring to two sentences back, yes, my parents blocked MTV b/c of the questionable content, so from elementary school on I spent my alone time in front of the TV watching rap and r&b videos. I smile every time I think about it b/c it had to be one of the most monumental parenting backfires in history (kind of endearing though). I was this 11-12 yr old white kid who the second he got into a music store would go immediately to rap section and stare unblinkingly at the album covers, periodically whispering slowly “Yeeeesssssssssssss” in no particular direction or to any particular person when not deep “heave” breathing. Walker bys were unacknowledged, at most falling prey to a gradual head turn where my eyes maintained contact with the desired objects until a last second creepy lock in before being psycho jerked back to dilated openness. Depending on the scandalousness of the CD I was eye eating, I might pull the 2-3 ft. to the left or right move, working it with my periphery, inside grinning like I’d just pulled a bank heist. Most trips to the store would end when my back started hurting after standing unmoving for 45 minutes straight in some awake, fully conscious REM sleep type deal. Also, I was all over the gang violence in LA and into the rap about it. On vacation one year, I convinced my grandmother to buy me Bone Thugs N Harmony’s EP album. Sorry GM. Still one of my favorites if that helps. At 13, pre “Make em say Ughhhh” Master P was also a favorite. “Bout it, Bout it” was my favorite song. I challenge anyone to find another 12-13 yr old white kid, who when given the choice, buys an Adina Howard or Keith Sweat single tape. I’d be impressed if ya’ll even remember Adina. Anyway, back to what I was first talking about. I chose to wear Coolwater b/c Snoop Dogg wore it and I sided with the Crips, thanks to thorough BET research, in the LA gang violence. Crap, I forgot where I was even going with that. Sorry. Well, with all that said above, I smile looking back on myself standing in front of the mirror checking how long my hair was getting, feeling my undercut a few times, and probably spraying way too much Coolwater on. Before going to school I might throw in Mary J. Blige’s “My Life” album or possibly the tape I’d made of Rick Dees and the weekly top 40. I had to see if 2Pac’s “Dear Mama” or Raphael Sadiq’s “Ask of you” hit number one. You know I’m still all over it. Any Olive Garden fans out there besides Jeffrey C. Phillips? Am I the only one putting this restaurant in the fine dining category? Am I literally completely oblivious to my own countryness? I swear, I can’t be the only one who feels a little underdressed walking into OG sometimes. Complimentary mints people. Fine. Maybe I am more country than I’d like to admit. I am an Applebees fan. And, I do have the backside for some Wranglers. Wearing belts all the time is confining. Thoughts? My parents just logged off. Is it wrong that after listening to Rascall Flatts, I feel like I relate to a surprising number of their songs? Am I singing Tim McGraw out loud while writing this? “A heart don’t forget, nooo, a heart don’t forget, something like that.” If you clean a jar real well, can it not be a good drinking glass? Am I lying when I say I have always wanted a beat up pickup truck? No, I’m not. Can I buy a pickup with a Social Work Masters Degree? Don’t know. Huhgggghhhhhhh. I bought Deana Carters “Did I shave my legs for this” album. Well, I’m saving my appetite for Olive Garden when I get home so I hope to see a good number of you all there. I hope everything is going great for everyone and I’ll talk to ya’ll next time. Still alive, trying to thrive Brandon

The Truth of the Slow Times I remember back in undergrad, there was this one summer where I was the only one of my friends staying in Athens to attend summer school. Everyone else was back in his or her hometowns for the summer. I was also working at Dial America that summer, a telemarketing job. Looking back, I remember there were just stretches of days during that summer that I was miserable. I think ya’ll can imagine how horrible the telemarketing job was, taking the same call 70 times a day, day after day, working people through applications and trying numerous rebuttals with the resistant callers. Despite hopes of being able to “Jerry Maguire” people with my sweet phone headset, I remember being absolutely terrified as my very first call buzzed in. I fumbled through the script I was supposed to read as the caller, obviously having picked up on my nerves gone crazy, said, “Hey? You alright buddy?” Buddy? Really? Probably about the most concern a telemarketer has ever received. Man, that was embarrassing. Be nice to telemarketers is the moral of that section of this blog. A week later I had all the scripts and rebuttals memorized. At school, I think I was taking a biology class. Biology 1104. As a mumbler myself, I was darn near amazed to discover that the teacher of this class had taken mumbling to the stratosphere. Couldn’t believe my ears or synthesize any of the squirrel talk hitting my ’drums. Was this guy trying to make me sit front row for the first time in my life? Throw that onto the worst class content imaginable (to me), and those 3-hour classes were something one could only hope to struggle through awake. Come to think of it, I remember deciding to start skipping that class frequently after about the first week, only returning for tests, using online material and the syllabus to keep up. What’s crazy is about a month after deciding to make myself a ghost in that class, I was walking downtown towards a bookstore and saw a man that looked super familiar. I almost ¼ waved at him based solely on that….. -(Mind talking) “Hey, do IIIII know y…..(hand slowly preparing move skyward)…..No” >Occurring simultaneously -(Actual talking(ish)) “Huhuugghhh” (barely audible) -(Face heats up; eyes look forward as my legs lock into embarrassed speed walk) …..I remember thinking about where I knew the man from for days. The answer came to me in one of those epiphanal moments early one morning when I realized this guy was my Biology 1104 teacher. Sad right? Sorry mom and dad, I can say this now that those days are long gone. Ya’ll know I hated biology classes. (deep breath) “MY son was a good student.” “My SON was a good student.” “My son was a GOOD student.” Anyway, what makes the memory of that summer stick out in my mind these days is the way that some of those days where I felt like I had no escape or real consistent support options from friends to deal all that stuff, it seemed like time was endless, and it became difficult to stay positive and happy even with all the distractions available (TV, food, movies, etc.). Now, I’m sitting here In Africa trying to deal with the same type feelings I had that summer but without any of those coping mechanisms like friends, TV, movies, or food. Outside of the sporadic work during this ridiculously slow time, I find myself choosing from a two-item menu day after day. “Sir, you want that boredom with a Monday or a Wednesday? It comes with both if you’re wondering. If that doesn’t suit you, our feeling du jour is the loneliness, usually served best at around 98 degrees Fahrenheit. I’ll come back after a 7 hour stretch of free time and take your selection.” At times like these, I feel like I’m walking around village on one of those pitch-black nights during rainy season. Every step, every available space seems to be squishy or wet. All you want to do is find that solid ground, something stable so you can start walking again. I’m sure ya’ll know the feeling. Sometimes thoughts or a certain periods of time will just hit you, leaving you feeling like nothings really certain. Suddenly, you’re back to being a little kid again, you know, holding a handful of these great shiny balloons by the strings, just barely holding on as the wind picks up. You’re afraid to let them all fly up into the wind again, b/c even though you know you’ll lose one or two from time to time when wind is especially bad, and you know they’ll come down eventually, you love how it feels to have the strings secure in your hand. So, it’s a little stormy right now, and the obstacle building in front of me is ominous. Maybe I need to just stop checking the horizons day after day waiting for what I’ve dubbed my “real life” to begin, be still, and just let what’s happening happen. Ya’ll can thank Colin Hay for inspiring that last sentence. The only album I have of his “Going Somewhere” is a good one. Check it out at your local Best Buy for ispirado. Well, its always nice to just vent things, so I appreciate ya’ll reading it. Modest Mouse says, “The good times are killing me.” While I can relate to that, with the various memories and thoughts some of these good times here bring up in my head, for now, it’s the slow times that are killing me. However, it won’t be this way forever, and lord knows it could be worse, and is for a lot of people. Anyway, throw a thought and a smile my way during your busy days and lives over there, and know it’ll be reciprocated. Take it easy people. I’ll be thinking about you all, but hopefully not too much. Yours truly, Brandon

Passage of the day: “Absolutizing of Ignorance” “This myth implies the existence of someone who decrees the ignorance of someone else. The one who is doing the decreeing defines himself and the class (group) to which he belongs as those who know or were born to know; he thereby defines others as alien entities (those who do not know). The words of his own class come to be the “true” words, which he imposes or attempts to impose on the others: the oppressed, whose words have been stolen from them. Those who steal the words of others develop a deep doubt in the abilities of the others and consider them incompetent. Each time they say their word without hearing the word of those whom they have forbidden to speak, they grow more accustomed to power and acquire a taste for guiding, ordering, and commanding (feeling superior). They can no longer live without having someone to give orders to. Under these circumstances, dialogue is impossible.” “In order to divide and confuse the people, the destroyers call themselves builders, and accuse the true builders of being destructive.” First, mom and dad, I’ve heard ya’ll are back into U2 these days. I’ve got the album Joshua Tree upstairs in my room if ya’ll want it. It’s got a good number of their most popular songs. Look in those three CD cases. If you still haven’t found what you are looking for…..give me a call in a couple of days (wink). I’m the lamest person on this earth. I have a question for anyone reading this thing. Hey Tony. Could someone, anyone, making under $200,000 a year please explain to me the value of deregulation and the Trickle Down Theory to the American population as a whole? I’m drowning in my own partisanship. If you can comment on this thing, please do. Honestly, every time I hear people promote these ideas, I start getting that urge to grow my mustache out and go burn a business high rise building down while wearing a clever t-shirt like “Exxonerate this!” Ok, that was bad. Trickle, trickle. Man, people up top must be real thirsty…… and impermeable I suppose. I don’t want to get sweated on by some old rich guy anyway. Am I out of line in feeling that the portrayal of the Trickle Down Theory and idea of deregulation as a means of helping the overall population feels more like a means of manipulating the people by giving them the impression that they are being helped? For me, I’m no big business hater. I support businesses, if they are regulated in order to assure accountability, integrity, and worker care. What’s the use of new jobs if the people getting them just get crapped on from day one, here and abroad? I know there are more options than just a) no jobs or b) jobs that exploit laborers (lets not pretend or reframe our efforts abroad as anything else). No, no, you haven’t heard? It’s ok to exploit people as long as they are dirt poor and coming from nothing. We are lifting them up. Please. You can put a pretty bow on a punch in the face, but it still involves getting punched in the face. Capitataptapitalism 4 L. You know what album is rocking my mind face off this very second? “Off the Wall” by MJ. Live your life off the wall right? Life ain’t so bad at all. Tonight, you gotta leave the 9 to 5 up on the shelf, and just enjoy yourself. I hear you Michael. Only problem with this album is it makes me want to be home. It’s kind of hard to listen to MJ and then go outside to eat six handfuls of rice. One the subject of home, I’ll let ya’ll in on something I’ve realized in my time here over the past year and 3-4 months. All of us PC volunteers complain as a coping mechanism for the tough times, but I can say, at least for me, that despite the difficulties, I can see myself possibly working one day off in the future at a job that involves me spending short periods of time in the developing world. However, as a friend and I were discussing the other day, I can never see myself just blindly pursuing some passion or goal alone, constantly away in some other city or country. We were talking about how all this time away really makes you value those necessities in life, family and loved ones, which give you that stability to jump off and tackle your goals. Like a track runner, you need those starting blocks and that traction to be able to run and pursue life. Otherwise, you’re just constantly slipping. Family and loved ones give you that traction in life, that starters block that gives you that stable place to jump off and purse your goals. So, we miss you guys. Today was a pretty good day. We had planned to make porridge at the CSCOM, but we had a hard time rounding up enough women to come. I guess we’ll just do it next Monday when all the women come to get their children vaccinated. I was in town this morning and saw my favorite street food lady. She has been MIA since the beginning of Ramadan. She makes the best “pate” around the PC office area. Basically, it’s just a fried thing with vegetables, eggs, and sometimes meat inside. After shouting, “Where on earth have you been?!” while doing my wide eyed crazy person run towards her and debating squeezing her nearly to death, I spouted off “Give me two snaps on a bi-naani piece.” Actually, I’m not sure what I meant by that last statement. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the best 7 minutes of heaven (for all you middle schoolers out there) I’ve ever experienced eating this thing on the street. Later, I passed one of my co-workers on the street early in afternoon. We discussed a meeting that we’ll have this Sunday to set up the bureau (managing board) for the “project that will not be named in a blog until after the opening ceremony happens.” I hope that meeting ends up happening and being successful. Ok, I hope everyone is enjoying the cooler weather. I’m not. Ya’ll take it easy, cheer for those Dawgs on their way back to the top 5, and keep in touch. Love ya’ll BC

Passage of the Day: Pedagogy of the Oppressed “The fact that certain members of the oppressor class join the oppressed in their struggle for liberation, thus moving from one pole of the contradiction to the other. Theirs is a fundamental role, and has been so throughout the history of this struggle. It happens, however, that as they cease to be exploiters or indifferent spectators or simply the heirs of exploitation and move to the side of the exploited, they almost always bring with them the marks of their origin: their prejudices and their deformations, which include a lack of confidence in the people’s ability to think, to want, and to know. Accordingly, these adherents to the people’s cause constantly run the risk of falling into a type of generosity as malefic as that of the oppressors. (later) Our converts, on the other hand, truly desire to transform the unjust order; but b/c of their background they believe that they must be the executors of the transformation. They talk about the people, but they do not trust them; and trusting people is the indispensable precondition for change.” -I think everyone from PC volunteers, politicians, missionaries, to the military should take that to heart. It all starts with respect and trust. I fight with this everyday, a struggle made harder with the language barrier. Had a ceiling fan send me to the Segou hospital the other day. How, you ask? I karate chopped it’s face for being too huge and awesome. Actually, b/c I’m huge and the fans at the PC bureau hang about as low as the lamps over each table at Applebees (check it out next time you go, and watch your head), I hit my hand on this crazy fast fan as I was pulling a sheet out from between two mattresses stacked on their side. Anyway, I had to go get some stitches, and I have a swollen hand to go along with them. I was about to let it heal Mali good style until I woke up the morning after it happened and it was still bleeding some. Whew. I still love that fan though. Some of you high and mighty people out there might think I’m just another classic case of Battered Man Syndrome, but listen, that fan didn’t mean to hurt me as bad as he did, and anyway, I deserved it. Tough love. As long as he’s sweet to me during these hot Af nights, he can take some swings at me every now and again. Not much to report on the work front. I will say that we are looking forward to another project. During the rainy season here, several of the roads in my town have huge bodies of sitting water on them for months at a time. This leads to the two things that cause a lot of the health problems here, mosquitoes and flies. Mosquitoes obviously lead to malaria and the flies contaminate food and cooking areas with bacteria, as well as infecting open cuts that people or animals have. Basically, what we want to do is get our hands on a large amount of dirt that can be carried in on trucks to level off some of the large areas where the worst bodies of dirty water develop. I’m going to write up a proposal soon and we’ll see what happens. I’m looking forward to hearing the VP debates. I’m sure it will be pure poetry. I’m only worried that the substance will be so thick and deep that no one will have any chance of understanding what’s being said and people will literally be in a virtual coma like sense of wonderment and awe at the preparation and obvious intellect displayed, leaving no person untouched, and no response appropriate except to weep out of pure appreciation. With vision like a soaring eagle, the insights into policy will seek out our deepest-seated fears like surging heat seeking missiles, exploding upon impact as understanding, spewing shards of compassion into all surrounding bodies. Even the thickest of skulls will be penetrated by logic and facts so potent, so sharp, they pierce your head like an arrow shot out of a shotgun while at the same time caressing your brain like the sweet touch of a flower. It’s going to be just amazing. As if caring for children too slow to keep up with an adult conversation, the information forming in the minds of these masters, information that is forceful yet gentle, seemingly coming from the eternal field of knowledge flowing through all of us yet just beyond our grasp and comprehension, will be served up like a sack lunch on a polar bear hunt. Grab the Cheetos and don’t forget the Dunkaroos, ‘cause I got some Capri Suns wrapped in aluminum foil. IT’S ON! Lets here it for the underrated linemen of the college football world. I tell you, UGA’s last game showed that if you aren’t stout on both sides of the line, you can kiss games vs. the bigger teams goodbye. Linemen injuries aren’t reported too often on the front page of the sports section but they are killing UGA from the inside out. I would chip in but I’m in reverse lineman camp here as I lose more weight the harder I try to gain it. Lets hope for no new injuries and some experience for these kids. Hope everyone is having a great day and I’ll talk to ya’ll later. B

Passage of the Day: “Passionate belief is the chief ingredient in any question-answer function. William James referred to “over belief” as the subjective gloss given by people to an experience or an idea that they felt revealed a universal truth. Laski considers “over belief” the most desired answer to an urgently asked question. Once we have been seized by a question, that is, once we have accepted a question as ultimately meaningful to us, we set about gathering the kind of material the question needs to build its answer.” What’s up guys Well, another week has come and gone and I’m still here doing my do. The weeks are starting to go by faster as the holidays and my birthday approach. People are still fasting here in Mali. As I stated earlier, I have a great deal of respect for the ritual of fasting and the dedication and discipline it takes. As many Christian believers from the States can attest, it can be a great and meaningful activity/journey to act out one’s culture’s mythology through ritual, especially when that ritual is so draining both mentally and physically like fasting is for the Malians. As far as I see, the Malians emerge from this fasting month feeling fresh and more centered spiritually, mentally, as well as feeling in closer harmony with Allah (and some are just hungry). However, for a non-faster like myself, this fasting period is difficult. This is due largely to the fact that no sells food on the street during this time. Whenever I’m not at village, I have a time and a half trying to get my hands on some food that will bring any sort or satisfaction. Given that I eat rice and sauce 24 sev at site, I basically refuse to eat it when I’m not there. Couple of more weeks left man. I’m trying to stay alive Momma. It’s a scary time these days folks. With the top linemen on both sides of the ball out for the Dawgs, I’m nervous. The “hide the children” part of the schedule is coming up over the next couple of months. Lets hope Richt and the coaches can make whatever switch ups and adjustments are needed soon b/c we need protection for Stafford and holes for my man Knowshon. Also, for these teams that are struggling at the run themselves, we need someone somewhere who can pressure the QB. TEEEEEEBBBBBBOOOOOWWWW! Sorry had to get that out. The kid is pure as the driven snow, but he’s the UF QB, therefore, I HATE HIM (with all the respect in the world)! Arizona St. might be a big test especially coming off a loss, and I don’t even want to think about Alabama or Tennessee. Basically, I’m hoping to receive a text at the crack on Sunday morning (here) hearing that ASU was no prob and UGA looked good. To the powers that be, PLEASE let that happen. I’m heading off in a second to take some pictures to post online of the finished, painted trashcans and donkey carts. The day of reckoning is fast approaching. Sooni, N be ke “trashman” ye. Inshallah! Also, got my ticket to head to the States for a few in March. So, J Snid, I’ll def be at your wedding my friend. Better be some Wu Tang Clan at the reception. JK. Not. On another Malian note, their Independence Day is next Monday. As far as I know it will be a holiday for everyone meaning work will not occur. However, I was fooled by one of the holidays last year and didn’t show up at the CSCOM to weigh the children, later finding out people were there working. This time I’m going just to make sure. Take it easy B

You ever had a time where your deepest anxieties, previously kept convert by no small effort of diversion and preventative strategy, were put on “front street” by a few stray words from the casual observer? ~~~~~~~~~~~ 1995, 7th grade Enter casual observer, Sandy Gateley (name changed horribly), 6ft. ridiculous, 2 hundred and ridiculous, great basketball coach to you know who……..Bra Bra. Middle school. What the H. Now, don’t get me wrong, after I emerged from my 6th grade cocoon of face size glasses and braces decorated, heaven help me, with black and red rubber bands (Go Dawgs?), my time at Memorial Middle was beachy peachy. However, though my Nike Air running shoes were crispy, and my Stussy and Mossimo shirts were clever as all get out, I couldn’t fully escape the awkward black hole of the early teenage years leaving all it touches with bad skin, bony arms, screechy sounds, and endless irritability. Side Note: The contrast b/w my 6th and 7th grade years can be summed up by the question, “Hey, are you a new student?” innocently spoken on the first day of 7th grade by my future two week girlfriend (it was a tough break up) whom I’d had a crush on the previous year. Back to the black hole. For many of my brethren, bad skin was the killer. Clearasil was distributed like tic-tacs. “Oh, you got skin colored? AAWWWEESSOOMMEE!” Only in middle school can the guy with the exploding face still have a chance with the cute girl in class. Yikes. Some didn’t make it out. Luckily, I never had skin problems as bad as a lot of the kids did, but I still had some difficulty, at least enough to make me self-conscious most days. It was almost an unspoken rule that you didn’t call anyone out on his or her acne, for risk of being called out yourself. It was a fine balance, taking place amongst the regular brutality of middle school. There was a time when I thought my little acne problem was safe from ridicule. Enter Sandy. Let me tell you, who doesn’t like a straight shooter? “What’s your favorite color Gateley?” “Beige (said with a hint of annoyance at the question)!” “Are those Dunkaroos in your pocket?” “H no!” Whooaa. That’s just straight talk people. Straight as an arrow. Little did I know, that faithful morning in 7th grade that I too would face such straightforward, inarguable real talk. All I wanted to do was go to class. Unfortunately, I was on guard duty that day, guarding my self-esteem from Vesuvius on my forehead. Luckily, my hair was aaaalllmmmooosstt long enough to cover the tragedy, and don’t think I forgot to put my Clearasil skin colored cream on…..cause I DIDN’T! Surely, I was saf…… (Bump….I stumble back) “Hey Cawthon……..NICE FACE!” AAAAGGGGGHHHHH! Who heard him say that! Dang it Gateley. Can’t you see no one notices my humongo pimple through the caked on skin cream. You’re gonna ruin it! Geez! (he was already gone) I was left bare as a newborn baby. ~~~~~~~~~~~ I survived that day and eventually the year with a smidgen of dignity and a couple of trash bags of empty skin care cream. That stuff didn’t work man. As for Sandy, he and I enjoyed our middle school dynasty or yearly second place basketball finishes behind Clements Middle, some great art classes, and we never talked about my face again. THE END Love and best wishes, KITOS BC

Man, from the time around the first of my vacation home up until now I have been basically on leave from all things political. The primaries about took it out of me. Now, I enjoy shouting in disgust silently through my glaring eyes as I’m sitting in a internet café just about as much as the next guy, and pretending the person I don’t favor is a huge idiot, and choosing to read things only in favor of my man or woman, using those favorable things as tinted glasses through which I judge all things written and said about that horrible other candidate, but sometimes that can become too much for a guy to handle. Sometimes I have to meditate on my college degree in order to remind myself that I’m actually a rational person, if such a concept can even really exist. You got to love times like these with an election coming up, b/c crap is so emotional(ly retarded), a bipartisan conversation about who should win between two regular folks is damn near impossible (cue smug laughter “hmmm (muttered scrunching your face up), you picked so and so. God, if only you could see the truth like I can.”). Things are tough when there are a billion “truths” out there, each person harboring their own unique version of what is/what isn’t, what matters/what doesn’t. Welcome to life, right? I swear, times like these, it’s not hard for some people to turn into that person at a party who may not be that informed on the topic of conversation but due to desire to be a part of things, to be affirmed, to be heard, and a little nervousness/anxiety just starts spitting stuff out that comes off sounding more emotional than anything else. We’ve all been that person at some point I think. Nevertheless, to work out my frustration, I think I’m going to set up an “I made an uninformed stand in ‘08” T-shirt stand………in Africa. That might not work. Well, actually it might, b/c I know these folks love fresh white T’s.

People, I think it comes down to four things for me when looking for a candidate (only my opinion here). 1) Empathy (can I get an “Amen” from the audience) that stretches outside of just the domestic arena and to all demographics b/c lord knows, life/people have opposing viewpoints/characteristics (and everything in between), and we being the kind of people who refuse blatant hypocrisy, say, “hey, they got just as much a right to their beliefs as we do to a ours,” no one has claim to “absolute rightness” and we are capable of showing others respect, viewing every person as a human being, not “other.” Like the saying goes, “He who thinks he knows, doesn’t know. He who knows he doesn’t know, knows.” Simple as seeing the specialness you see in yourself and your family in others (before judging, before acting). If we dig deep enough, there is always a community, the things that bind us. There is always the poetry lying in the story beneath the surface of every person’s life, waiting to be given to a person who is willing to ask. Interconnectedness, Inter- reliance, mutual interests, describe it however you want. 2) Integrity. You can throw transparency and accountability in this cause lord knows we all understand how politics get when things are just big word games (using Orwellian language and the like), an emotional games (just dumbs the whole process down) played out in the media. I know it’s going to happen, but we all know it can be improved. 3) Critical thinking. No matter what side you are on, you want a guy who, as a result of education and experience (doesn’t necessarily have to be political experience), can take an issue, break it down from every angle getting points of view from his opponents and friends alike, and then make a decision that all can live with b/c it goes in line with what is most beneficial for the American people as a whole…..

(Lobbyist influence deflated, and the relationship b/w rich and poor looked upon with a critical eye, at least when it comes to delving out rights and opportunity, freedoms, money for programs, subsidies, etc. None of us start on the same starting block, that is a fact that should never be ignored or looked over, and we all know that in theory, a successful economy relies in part on an agreed upon relationship b/w workers, companies, businesses, etc. to work together with reciprocating respect, each person filling a role knowing that the accrued benefits of all will go towards the benefit of everyone, not just some. Take away that justice, take away the promise of security for an honest day’s work, enter in poisonous generalizations, and you destroy the system of willful cooperation or at least risk diminished performance and an every man for himself environment. Nothing is simple, but starting with this frame as a basis for structuring decisions and actions can’t hurt)

……..and the upholding of the constitution (general agreed upon, widely shared interpretation, not that of some biased lawyer looking to support some agenda, or political appointee looking out for his/her career), or coming as close as you can to it. That’s just reasonable decision making. Haven’t seen it yet unfortunately, but c’mon, whoever gets it this year has to reach across and put some people of the opposing party in high cabinet positions. 4) Compassion. Like empathy, this concept literally meaning “suffering with” brings all people onto the same level. As another quote I like says, “Compassion is the awakening of the heart from bestial self interest to humanity.” My man Che will know these ideas from references by our man JC. It is hard to live without experiencing suffering to some degree, and it only takes a flip of a switch to see suffering all across the globe. It’s about participating with compassion in the sorrows of others, affirming it as part of life as a shaper and teacher. That’s it. There are many more qualifications of course, and much more depth that can be added to my things above, but when it comes to me, those four are what I look for first before I move on to the rest.

Fasting time here is not fast. I’m waiting for next month to arrive so we can have the opening ceremony for the Trash Pickup system. I feel like I’ve been talking about it since Mookie B played for the Hawks. This is the last time. The mayor suggested we wait till after Ramadan so that we can have a good turnout. I feel him, but come on man, I’m ready to do this. Alas, I’m forced to turn again to the patience within, something I’ve built into a borderline superpower I can use whenever I want. So, when I’m back home, instead of shifting back and forth debating how much air I can get on my fly kick to the person who, seeming like they were born and raised at the ATM since I’ve arrived, is too dumb to realize I’m meeting my friend at Barberitos in 10 minutes, I’ll be using my super patience to prevent myself from sharpening my car key into a shank.

Ol’ Ohio State was behind today to the power Ohio before finally showing up. I don’t care if their running back was out or not. Is anyone else feeling me when I say Ohio State is the most overrated/ nauseating/ lucky/ SEC beatdown waiting to happen team I’ve ever seen? Maybe I’m taking that too far. I mean, how many years in a row can Ohio State be ranked in the top five after playing no one and a half the previous season. Or should I say, how many years in a row can ESPN hire every Big Ten alum in the states to become broadcasters. Wait, I forgot about the dream team from two years ago. Heisman quarterback, defense from the heavens, super star athlete at receiver, undefea…………..oh wait, I forgot they were absolutely DESTROYED by Florida, who wasn’t even an unanimous choice for the game. Did someone say LSU? Hey Big Ten, call me when ya’ll start eating hush puppies and drinking sweet tea from solo cups (yup, I pulled the culture card). Same goes for you Notre Dame. Can we all stop pretending Ohio State vs. Michigan is the biggest game of the year? Hey Michigan, how ‘bout every year we send you the third place team in the East so you can pull out the best game of your life and get a close win to boost your spirits.

As you all can tell, much like politics for some, sports make me a little overly emotional/ over generalizing at times.

Ok, I’m off to bed. Everyone take it easy

BC

Off the top of my head, here are some things that would have me wanting to passionately kiss anyone nice enough to send them.

-bags of Doritos (large bag, not snack bag)

-Chex mix

-peanut M&Ms

-Chips and Salsa

-Oreos

-accessories like mustard, barbecue sauce, parmasean cheese (check spelling)

-stove top popcorn

-little debbie snack cakes (any kind)

-any kind of "just add water" meals

-Cheetos

-Twizzlers

-white chocolate covered pretzels

-Reeses peanut butter cups

-starburst and skittles

-BBQ chips

-Fritos (any flavor) with dip or Ruffles

-Wheat thins

Much thanks to the two volunteers sitting next to me, Casey and Kirsten, who helped with suggestions.

Anyone who has to desire to send me anything is A Ok in my book. I appreciate anything tremendously.

Check out the other blog below.

BC

And time rolls on

Well, whats up these days? Not sure. Its pretty much going like it usually goes over here.

One the work front, we are still moving along with this sanitation project. Our current project for the week is acquiring lids for all the trash cans. I think after that we can finally get on with the opening ceremonies for the whole thing and get the trash pickup started. I got the ceremonial first black plastic bag ready to toss in the first trash can to close the ceremony. Afterwards ill probably light it on fire and hold my fist in the air. No need to speak when it comes to Revolucion!

UGA's first game is today and I'm sure the other volunteers here are already sick of hearing the question, "Hey, ya'll know what number UGA is this year?" "Number freakin 1!" The part of my body that is from my mom is tremendously excited to stand pacing next to espn.com waiting for updates so I can do aerials (check spelling) under the hanger out here in the hotel. The part of my body coming from my dad is a little more of the "im not countin my chickens before they hatch" mindset waiting to drive off from the house as soon as there is an opposing team touchdown in the second quarter. What can I say, the two of them equal a perfectly rational fan (me). People, Im not going to see a single game in person or on TV this year. JH. Im counting on constant text messages, phone calls, facebook messages, etc. to keep me up to pace.

Ramadan starts next week. For all of you non-muslim readers, Ramadan is basically a month long fast that ends in a religious holiday where I will be forced to hold a lamb down through peer pressure while it is sacrificed. Its no doubt one of the biggest events and rituals of the year as far as Muslim culture goes. Later, Ill eat the thing while grinning nervously as the 5 yr. old plays with the head 2 feet from me. Kids. I got to tell you, I have respect for the discipline it takes to go an entire month not drinking or eating during daylight hours while still working in the fields.

Sooner than later, the new group of kids here in Segou region will be installed in their sites. That will happen around mid month. The plus side of that is it gives all of us year kids an excuse to take a weekend to go down to the capital to see them sworn in as official volunteers and join in on the party taking place afterwards. I think it will be a nice escape for a couple.

Ok. Go UGA. Yall keep it clean over there.

BC

Well, apparently the only person who is sticking with me on these blogs is my man Tony.  Tony, Ill go ahead and tell you, I'm always happy to see a comment from you.   I used to read your comments last year and feel bad there wasn't a good way to get back at you to say thanks.  So, anyway, thank you man.  I know Im no literary hero, and its been over year with me being here, so Tay, I love you my friend and thanks for keeping up with me.  

Anyway, Tony, I swear to god, i might be seeing you in a week or two b/c the AC adapter that I charge my computer with was messed up today after this power surge, leaving me with an already battery dead computer that is no longer of any use until I can get my hands on a new adapter.  Im not sure how long ill make it.  Now Im left once again with books and broken conversations with neighbors to fill my time.  Work only happens like three days a week.  Think about it.  I have to fill up four days! AAAAHHHHHGGGGGHHHHH! Help me please.  You have any money saved up?  Pleeeeeeease come here!  This mid part of my service is already difficult enough for my daily lifeline to sanity to be cut off.  

Later this week I have a meeting with my health committee about the sanitation project.  This is a good thing for a couple of reasons.  First, Im happy that the health committee I helped start is going to be involved in managing and discussing the work the sanitation system will do.  This will hopefully help with the sustainability factor, give they now have a concrete project to work on, a project that will hopefully last for a long time.  Second, the meeting will be the first one where we will begin to vote people into leadership positions heading and managing the project, as well as planning the opening ceremony to kick off the work.  Inshallah, Ill be putting my work gloves on bright and early on a Sunday morning soon, getting on a donkey cart, and being a third world garbage man until lunch.  

The new kids came last week, and by kids, I mean people my age.  There are a couple of 25-26 yr. olds to keep me company.  With 30 on the horizon, I got to find an acceptable way to go out, b/c I heard bad things about the post 30's, and im probably making that last part up.  Used to be, I was planning on driving my Chevrolet Lumina off a cliff, but the darn thing broke.  Probably just do a tribute to "Cobra" and just walk around not wearing a belt all day everyday until the people can't take looking at it anymore and take me out.  Anyway, the new people all seem cool.  Considering my whole group from a year ago is going through this mid PC experience depression, Im hoping these others will bring us out of it.  

Ok, I suppose ill go read a book for the next 4 hours.  Let me tell you, I like "Theory of Justice" as much as the next guy but man, I don't think anyones ever read it for four hours straight.  Might not happen.  My wall needs a good looking at too, so ill just switch back and forth until dinner.

Ya'll keep it clean, keep it easy, and I'll talk to you later

BC

(Yawn/ Streeeeeeetch) Its morning again people. Time to get my favorite handkerchief, wipe the sweat off my brow, get my act together, and get this day on. Times are ok these days in Malalia. My partners in village and I have started our sanitation project. We have already purchased all the trash cans we need, two donkey carts that will be used for the trash pickup, and we have two donkeys coming any day now ( one named Bobby, for my Aunt Robyn, as promised). Those are definitely the key inputs to the whole thing, so it feels good to have all those checked off the list. I suppose the only bad thing right now is the fact that we are now idling waiting for additional funding. Back last February when I was writing and trying to submit the grant proposal for this project to PC, I asked for a pretty substantial amount of money, an amount that would have allowed us plenty to get everything we need. However, in stepped the “process” to mess up my smooth sailing. Somehow, everything went wrong at the PC office in Washington. First, my name was put up on the website, but the project description and state of residence were both wrong. Now, unless there is another, equally good looking, Brandon Cawthon out in California who in a spur of the moment decision, decided to take a couple in Africa and let his frosted tips grow out, there was just a mess up in the posting of my project. After what seemed like a lifetime (in here time that could have just been a few days of a slow week) and many emails I finally got something resembling my project up under my name and the sweet two letters G-A next to it. The only problem was the “amount needed” listed under my project. The amount listed was about $1000 or so short of what I wanted. Many emails later I was told if I wanted to change the amount again, I would have to re-submit the grant proposal, which would force to wait even longer for the project to be officially posted on the website and available for donations. Soooooo, I bit the bullet and gave in. Thanks to all the great people who were willing to contribute, the thing was funded really quickly. However, thanks to some clerical missteps, we are now out looking again for people willing to help the community here out with more donations. It’s been difficult having to turn so often to friends and family for funding, but it’s really the only option. If y’all (ppl who’ve helped already) are reading this, thank you. Yesterday, I decided to up and do something I did several times last year, which is get on my bike, pick a direction, and just ride until I got tired. Usually, I will just pick an album on my Ipod that I haven’t listened to in a while and use it as my clock. I’ll ride until it’s finished, and then turn around, pick a new album for the ride home, and ride back. This is always a decent way to fill up some of the time on a free afternoon. The Malians out in the country always give you that “What the……What on earth is that white person doing……Doesn’t…….Don’ he know its hot out here” look, something due to the lack of white people taking leisurely strolls out in the sticks. The problem these days is that I’ve always been a little scared to go and do this thing since one time last year when my tire went flat like 3-4 miles from my village. This incident occurred at 12 noon. I had to turn around and walk back, under the sun, to my village. It wasn’t horrible, I was actually still in a good mood when finished, but I couldn’t help think, if there was ever a perfect setup for one of those “Peace Corps volunteer vanishes” news stories, I had just left it. Now, I’ve never felt scared for my safety here in Mali, and I pretty much trust most of the people in my village, but you never want to be the guy who becomes the “it could happen” scenario. Luckily, the only things I usually get on these rides are smiles and “I ka kene?……Cosebe, Cosebe?” (How are you? Really good?). It’s a safe place mom. I suppose I should get back to the two things I plan to do today, 1) Organize a presentation for next Monday, and 2) Find some way to get out of my Quarter Life Crisis brought on by “oh my god, I better get a job quickly when this is all done if I want stay off the street corner,” and accented by “why am I worrying about this right now.” If only both those tasks were equally easy to accomplish. I’ll let y’all know how it all turns out. I’ve always felt shaving my face was a good start to any dynamite plan. So, I guess I’m off to the well to fetch some water to get this thing going. I hope everyone is well and I will talk to you all later. Brandon

Well, today was the last day of the AIDS formation I helped organize at my site. It went over well I think and I hope the participants learned enough that they can distribute the information through conversations, (and Inshallah) presentations, community meetings, etc., and of course, act as community leaders through safe behavior. I even gave a little minute long speech in Bambara to all the people who organized and attended the formation. They gave me a good hand afterwards and smiles were all around along with pats on the back, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I had suddenly become the slightly mentally handicapped kid who, after a seasons worth of committed hustle in practice, hits the miracle fifteen footer to end a blow out game that doesn’t even matter, but still gets a “standing O” and taken out to a “meal of his choosing” afterwards. Either way, I am satisfied with how it all turned out. I think the guys who organized the whole thing with me have already worked out a plan to visit all the villages in my commune (10) to give little presentations on HIV/AIDS and give blood tests. I have a good deal of pictures that turned out really well. So, as soon as I become smart enough, Ill send them to my parents and they can get them to everyone that helped the project by donating money.

Prior to the start of the AIDS formation, my counterpart in village and I held a little 5 day formation on making healthy porridge. The purpose of this formation was to keep hammering into the women that if they want their children to be healthy and grow physically and mentally, they must give them complete foods. We made the porridge with different ingredients every day, and explained to the women what the individual ingredients do in a person’s body. The women were active participants in making the stuff. Of course, the obvious problem with the whole idea of a food formation using a variety of ingredients is the fact that most of the people who would benefit from the information cannot afford to buy necessary ingredients to make the food they already make more complete and healthy. I’m not going to lie; I became pretty jaded about the whole thing on about day 3. I would explain that adding several ingredients doesn’t have to occur every day, but if possible, adding extra ingredients to the food once a week, or even once every two weeks, is better than nothing. However, for some folks, that might not be possible, and talking sure ain’t going to change that. For others, it may be an issue of prioritizing healthy food over other things like drinking tea four times a day.

This week, I’ve had a couple of those “I swear, say I can’t speak Bambara one more time and Ill come after you and your family” moments. Basically, the past couple of weeks have been busy with the two formations. Because of funding issues (Mayor’s office is broke), I have been digging in my pockets to fund the gaps. Maybe this has made me more sensitive to any kind of hassle. You can ask my parents. When they called me the other day, I had just left the health center where I got crap for something like not knowing someone had been a little sick in my host family. Now, it was nothing serious of course, and I hadn’t been to their house b/c I’d been busy, I don’t know, PLANNING TWO FORMATIONS. “Forgive me, I was inconsiderate….(neck punch)!” To make that scenario worse, after being glared at and asked where I’ve been and why I hadn’t thrown some blessings the person’s way, the “Oh, Sidi cant speak Bambara” bomb was dropped when I tried to diffuse everything by pleading ignorance. I was just sitting there thinking, “If you only realized that most of the time when I say ‘I don’t understand,’ its because I want to leave.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0……….whew, Im ok. AGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Don’t worry people, I’m ok. This stuff happens every week here. Now that everything is finished, I can breathe easy for a few days and enjoy the accomplishment. Despite any setbacks, the AIDS formation was great, and I am thankful for all the participants and their effort.

Ya’ll take it easy

BC

It’s no secret that we all associate various musical artists, albums, and songs with different periods, moments, or people in our lives. Looking at myself as an example, Jimmy Eat World’s album “Clarity” will forever be associated with my trips to Kenya. I bought that album before the first trip and listened to it the entire time I was there….literally (I recommend it to anyone). Every time I hear any song from that album, images of Nakuru and all the people we worked with come up immediately. Take any song from Incubus’s “Make Yourself” album, and suddenly I’m either in my grandmother’s car in St. Augustine, Florida, listening to “Pardon Me” for one of the first times after my cousin bought the CD, or rolling down Baxter St. in my friend’s car as we all listen to the CD and a couple of people are discussing which song on the album is best. Finally, you can take “Scar Tissue” from the Chili Peppers and I’m no doubt back on my way to Stone Mtn. in Georgia with a car full of friends, including a girl I liked at the time, listening to the song for the first time. The most horrendous part of that last one was my futile attempt to begin singing the song at full volume after hearing only one verse. That day, I was that guy you hate during car sing alongs that knows no words, so he just mumbles all the verses and then blurts the chorus out with fervor. I’ve learned my lesson since that time in my life. Soooooooo, having music associated with people, places, and times in my life is great. I love having moments of nostalgia after hearing a song I haven’t heard for a while. What makes it great and meaningful is the way your collection covers such a vast expanse of time, places, and people, making it possible for one song to bring up memories not thought about for years. Well………..I think, like a slow death, my entire Ipod is becoming associated with Mali and Sebougou. Now, I know, Keith Johnson, super volunteer, from Peace Corps Mauritania 85-87, who is happy his entire Jon Secada collection is associated with Mauritania, is probably rolling over in his grave (and yes, I realize that would have him dying at like 40, but I’m sure it was something like pushing a baby lamb out from in front of some marauding garibu in rural Gambia; he’ll always be remembered for his courage), but Keith, c’mon man, let me keep some memories dude. I’m not looking forward to yelling “Get out of my head Mamadou!” at the Ryans salad bar, age 40, after hearing “Hat 2 the Back” by TLC (I said it). So, I’m starting a new “Save the Music” campaign that involves nothing related to buying instruments for elementary schools or teaching the tuba to anyone on earth who still wants to learn that instrument. My campaign is solely focused on saving what is left of my Ipod, and the memories associated with those songs, free from disturbance. I don’t know exactly how to do this, but I figure starting a campaign is good, and I’ve already started calling my neighbor by his new American name, Richard. Now, don’t get me wrong, I hope that there is some music in my collection that will allow me to remember fondly my experience here, whether it be work or the great people in my village. Ill remember the things I’m doing here for the rest of my life, buuuuuuuuut, take your hand out of the cookie jar Mali (slap on the nose), take your one cookie and leave the rest for the other kids. Hope all of y’all are ok, and Ill talk to you later LoveBC

(steady beat)

bump, bump, bump, bump.....

(add a little variation)

bump, bump, bump, bump, digga, bump.....

(speed it up)

bump digga bump digga bump

(slowly add instruments)

(Now, cue the foot, which can only be accompanied by the lower lip bite)

tap, tap, tap, tap

(Get that knee moving)

tap, wiggle, tap, wiggle

(Lets get both legs working)

tap, wiggle, tap, wiggle

IMPORTANT: Always, Always...................move your upper body as little as possible

Why in the world am I writing this. I don't know, I guess it's because I was sitting today as I do alot of days listening to someone's radio while waiting for a shot of tea and intently watching these little Malian kids dance. It trips me out.

One of the little street kids I'm friends with IS Malian dancing . I call him Dub T, which is short for Wiggle T, which is short for Wiggle Tap. Of course, he just looks confused when everyday, everytime I see him, im calling him these things. Whatever. This kid will hear a beat, and at first, I have no idea he is even dancing. We'll be chatting, and hiss upper body is dead still like he 's not moving at all. Tap, tap, tap, tap. I look down, and this kids feet are working. Now, as that song gets going, his lower lip slides slowly up under his top row of teeth ending up in a fixed position with the top teeth biting firmly down on it. There is kind of a signal sent at that exact moment directly from his bottom lip to his feet saying clearly, "Its time for the party to move on up." And, it does move on up. Slowly, the calves begin to move a little. Twist, twist, twist, twist. He looks at this point like someone putting out a cigarette with their feet, but of course, on beat. Slowly, the party continues up to his knees. First one knee gets it going, and then the next. At this point those legs are working like the blades on a lawnmower. Crazy. Up top, the kid's not moving. He is just staring off at something. The final move for the party as the song is at full blast, is straight to the butt, which allows Dub T to express max wiggle and max tap. Abanna. Now, the upper body in some kind of weird bob up and down mode now, but its still pretty business as usual. Love it.

It always starts and progresses the same way, and I usually always laugh a little each time. Sometimes I fantasize about my designed protest dance I practice in my house, where I move my upper body around real maniacally, while keeping my lower body dead still. Its kind of like a jacked up version of "the robot. "

Ill holler at yall later. Miss everybody.

BC

I walk into my house in Sebougou, Mali after being away for over a month.

“Hmmmm (long stare scanning both rooms). Sweet Jesus. Man, this place is ridiculous. Who opened the freaking windows while I was gone? Uggghhhh (long pause of disgust). Ok, lets get this crap out of here and sweep this beast out. Alright (moving toward and then grabbing my suitcase I left behind). I swear, if there are any lizards und…(lifting)…OH SHHH…..”

(and scene)

You know how when you were a kid playing tag with your friends, and you finally got a moment to run for home base, but the person that was “it” was literally right on your heels, and even worse, was a probable diver (would literally dive to tag your leg if necessary). Side note: being this zealous is annoying on all fronts people. Anyway, when faced with a probable diver, the obvious next move was to begin throwing up these viciously awkward high knees to take away the leg option for the tag, a decision only made worse by the fact that you were a good 100 ft from the base, thus forcing you to high knee run, while all other players were giggling behind trees, for what seemed like a millennia. We’ve all been there.

Literally, the same situation described above occurred as I lifted my suitcase only to find what can only be described as a “death gray” (don’t look it up, it’s a new color I made up mid-flee) gorilla mouse who, and my memory escapes me a little, quickly levitated and, like it was shot from a gun, came at me like lightning. I’m assuming it was looking to sever some major artery for the quick kill, but I could be wrong. BUT, it didn’t kill me, a fact made obvious by my authoring of this blog.

Why?

Well, I played varsity basketball at Salem High School, where Ryan “RDH Roundballer” Hodges added technique and flare, every fall afternoon for three years, to the awkwardly vicious high knees I had already developed as a child. As everyone knows already, when high school basketball training is mixed with the fight or flight response, a person is nearly invincible.

I turned without thinking and before I knew it, began throwing knees SO high (chest level) that no beast could have ever caught me, except maybe a brown bear. With the focus of a champion I exited my bedroom, turned a corner at a speed some might consider “dangerously fast,” and exited my house knowing that only extreme arm and leg pumping would allow me to escape with my life. I made it. Thank you RDH.

Wow, this blog is ridiculous. The point of the whole thing is that a mouse was hiding behind my suitcase, and since I’ve never seen one in my house, it scared the crap out of me. Abanna peuw peuw.

SOOOOOOO, I’m back at site now trying to get back into my previous life. So far, things have been ok, aside from my ridiculously dirty house. Somehow, possibly people trying to look in, the shutters on my windows were open when I returned even though I made a point to shut them so that dirt and dust would not cover everything. Well, they were open when I got there, and everything, EVERYTHING, was covered (books, paper, my bed, pillow sheets, the whole floor of both rooms, etc.) with dirt. I spent my entire first day back removing everything, including two lizards and a mouse, from my house, cleaning the whole thing, and then moving everything back in. At one point, I was flinging a basketball at my wall (my walls are about 15 ft high) for about 15 minutes trying to kill the two lizards that were crawling everywhere. I can’t sleep with those things in there.

As far as work is concerned, things are ok. I talked with my counterpart here today, and we decided to start planning our HEARTH formation next week (the HEARTH is 12 days long and consists of daily health presentations and porridge making using local ingredients). The point of the whole thing is to show the women that by adding healthier ingredients to the daily diets of their children, as well as acquiring healthier living habits in general, they can see visible improvement in their children’s health and growth. Also, the guys I’ve been digging soak pits with have dug 1 or 2 since I’ve been gone and will hopefully do more soon. My health committee that I started has met twice since I left, which I was happy to hear. Lastly, I think the money for my AIDS project is at my bank. So, once I get an exact amount that was deposited and compare it to what should be there, ill start working with my partners planning the thing.

I hope everyone is well and enjoying the heat over there. I doing my do here and missing all of you big time.

BC

I had no idea it had been so long since id updated this thing. Well, hopefully that will change now that I have my laptop here in Africa.

Im finally back here in the Mal Mal, and the re-adjustment is going to be a beast. I am in the capital right now for the 4th and will probably head back to my village Sat or Sun. For all of you who dont know already, I was stuck in the States for an extra 11 days due to the fact I forgot to bring my PC issued passport that contains a visa for Mali home with me. With only a US passport in my hand, and no visa, I was denied entry onto my first scheduled flight. I hate to say it, but after hearing I couldnt get on the plane, I mustered up my best "Oh really, well darn," after which, I sprinted from the check in counter screaming and laughing. The extra 11 days were probably some of the best I had, so it all worked out in the end.

My passport issues have also aided the lovely volunteers of Segou in doing what I thought they'd never be able to do........give me a nickname. Everyone in the group has a nickname (Delicious, JJDance, Shot Put, Boots, Sauce, Boss, Mooch) but good ol Brandon. I guess nothing seemed to work. So, now that im back ive been informed that my nickname is now "passport." Im not sure how I feel about it. Its definitely no "Franchise" (go down to the storied football grounds of Salem High School and ask the lonely old janitor about that one). I dont know why they've never gone with the classic "BC." Whatever.

Ive been walking around like a confused bum for the past couple of days since arriving here. I dont really have a place to stay, and Im definitely missing the people that are important to me in the States. I have no phone here after a taxi ran over mine in the street next to the PC office. Anxiety is rising as the day I return to my village gets closer. It's a good thing time heals all, because I don't think I could take feeling like this for much longer.

Lastly, I guess Ill mention my dog Nick. I was emailed yesterday by my parents telling me that Nick was going to be put down due to his failing health, most likely cancer. Obviously, this was a big hit for me. It's hard to believe sometimes how close you can get to your pet. I knew his health was getting worse, but I had no idea he would be gone just two days after I left the States. Looking back on my trip, it makes me sick to my stomach to think of how much pain he was in and how he still tried to do things like run up the stairs after me to my room even though I know it hurt him. I loved that dog more than anything, and its hard to see someone you love hurting. So, now im just sitting here in Mali, missing my dog, and wishing id given him one more hug before I left. When I think of him, I always first go to the time last summer when I was getting ready to leave for PC. I was in my house in Winterville and had just said goodbye to someone really important to me. I went and sat on my bed to just try and get it together. Of course, even though he'd been running around hyper all morning, Nick came over to me and sat in between my legs looking up at me from time to time for as long as I sat there. He was a great dog, and ill miss him forever.

Alright, Im trying to avoid crying in front of the other volunteers in this computer lab, so ill go ahead and end this message. I hope ya'll are still reading and keeping up with me. I promise to write more this second year. Thanks to everyone who made my trip home a great time.

Love you all

BC

Alright, i suppose i can begin by letting the folks who are still sticking with me know that im coming home in mid May for a month long vacation. So, if you want to find me, ill be standing in front of my mom day after day, looking all emaciated, hoping she will keep a steady supply of food flowing into my mouth. The first person that brings me rice is getting an open hand slizzap.

That being said, lets go ahead and get down to Mali. Currently, im trying my best to get a variety of activities off the ground. First, i have recently started a ameliorated porridge program, in which i make porridge (consisting of a variety of healthy ingredients) every two weeks (with funding help from the Mayor's Office) to give to women with young children. Second, im am in the very beginning stages of creating a health committee that will focus on doing health related projects and activities in my village, Sebougou, and other villages in the commune. The idea for a health committee arose from my desire for more outreach work with community members and other village folk who are unable to go to the local health center because of money issues, distance from their home, etc. Third, I am still working on the AIDS formation. My proposal is still in the process of getting put up on the PC website where it will be open for donations. Aside from all that, baby weighing and health animations are still business as usual.

So, i figure if i can just dodge some bullets before May, ill be seeing some of you very soon. By "dodging bullets," I am referring to the high probability that i will either die in a high speed bus crash or get vaporized when a 13yr old riding a moto, looking incredibly impressive and cool, slams into me while im riding my bike. Inshallah, neither of these things will happen. For my own sanity, i will go ahead and say i dont believe in foreshadowing.

To everyone reading, i give you my best

BC

July 17 is looming on the horizon. Its hard to believe that I will be in Mali by the end of next week. So, for the next week ill be trying to manage the sweet mixture of packing, partying, hanging out, reading, and anxiety attacks. Im contemplating a complete revolt against the packing list by taking only what I wear to the airport (and of course the goggles suggested by a family member to fend off the dust storms). I challenge anyone to convince me that goggles are not priority A when packing for a trip to Africa. Anyways, hopefully I will get to see all my friends before I leave, and if not, ill definitely be thinking of all of you when im finally in Mali. My goal for the whole experience is to immerse myself completely in the day to day life and culture of the community I am in, as well as maintaining contact with friends and family back home. As far as this blog goes, ill keep it updated as much as a computer illiterate person in a developing country can.