Is anyone as tired of Lady Gaga as I am?

So I am in AZ until Monday morning. Then it's back to Nicaragua.

Any good shows Friday, Saturday or Sunday?

I get to go home to AZ for xmas! YAYAYAYAYAYAY. Peace out for one week, Nicaragua. By the timeI get back you better be a functioning democracy!

It just occurred to me about an hour ago that I am totally booked up until about April 28th. That leaves me a week to see people/get everything ready before I leave this country for 27 months.

This weekend: camping (should be interesting)

Next week: Train my replacement at work, Then Ohio (yeah! I’m comin’, sis!)

The week after: Ohio then Utah (Ben Fold’s + Chris Merritt + friends = seizure)

The week after: See The Black Jacket on the 29th (last show I’ll attend for a long time - sad!)Then freak out about moving the central america for the remaining 5 days.

I’ll take this opportunity to answer some questions I am asked repeatedly:

When are you leaving?

May 5th. I go to DC for two days then I train for 3 months in Managua, Nicaragua. Then I am assigned to a village based on my language strength and job skills.

Will you have internet/electricity?

I will have access to the www every two weeks or so. Electricity will be intermittent.

How do I contact you?

You can send snail mail or you can email me. I will have a new email account set up before I go strictly for this reason so I don’t have to rifle through my old spam-ridden accounts on a dial up connection at a shady internet cafe in Managua twice a month. However, snail mail would be MUCH appreciated as I can carry it home with me and read it whenever I am lonely. For the first three months my address will be:

Elizabeth Salazar, PCT

Voluntario del Cuerpo de Paz

Apartado Postal 3256

Managua, Nicaragua

Central America

Are you going to get sick and/or die a horribly tragic death?

Nicaragua is a peaceful but extremely poor country. I won’t die in any Sandonista upheaval. Those days are over. Malaria is a problem there, but I will be taking anti malarial pills and sleeping under a net. We also get extensive training on health issues and how to guard ourselves from food/water-borne illness. I might get ill here and there, but I don’t foresee anything dramatic. If we get sick, they take care of us, and in the event that something dangerous is going on in the country, we immediately go back to America.

What are you going to do there?

I am going to helping with English language learning by working with Nicaraguan teachers as well as co-teaching a high school English class. I will probably have side projects - something youth or community related.

Will you live by yourself?

For the first three months I live with a family while I become acclimated to the language and culture. Once I move to my 2-year assignment I will most likely be living alone in a one room hut/adobe dwelling/tin box. No, there won’t be a "real" shower or laundry machines of an sort. I might not even have a door or flooring in my house. That’s cool with me.

What will you do when you come back?

I plan on thinking about that while I am there. I want to go to grad school but I am not sure where and for what. Maybe public policy, maybe education of some sort There is a slight chance I may apply to law school (doubtful).

I am thinking about applying for the Peace Corps. What advice do you have?

Just finish your application. Don’t stress about the essays. You have plenty of time to back out if you decide not to do it. The whole process takes about a year. You have a good chance of going somewhere you want to go to do what you want to do, so go for it.

I think that about covers it.

I'd like to start this post off with a big eff you *brandishes middle finger* to birth control. That shit makes your boobs sore and huge, not to mention all the synthetic hormones running through your veins make you psychotic. I know there are a lot of contributing factors in my life making me crazy right now, but I think it's the BC that's really sending me to the next level of nutty. But then again, I 'd like to remain unfertilized, so touche, BC.

I had some horrific dreams last night. The whole time there was this serial killer chasing after a little girl and I was trying to protect her. At some point some of my coworkers were there and we were all trying to stop him but he was this freakin magical serial killer or something and kept coming out of nowhere. This dream was really long and he chased this little girl up and down the street I grew up on, brutally killing her neighbors, friends and family. The weird thing was that sometimes my dream was from the POV of the little girl, sometimes it was from the POV of other victims and sometimes it was from the POV of the killer himself. I tried to get somebody to call 911, but the only person who came was some guy in a Lambourghini who was immediately strangled by the killer. At the end of the dream there was an old man wandering through this ravaged street. He was half dead because the killer guy trapped him underneath the garage door and whacked him in the head with a huge paint can (I told you this was a fucked up dream). He was dragging his half dead body from house to house giving people rose bushes. The funny thing was that the rose bushes were just twigs and a few leaves - how they look when they are dormant. Then a song came on (yes, this has a soundtrack) just as he handed his last rose bush. It was Men at Work's "Aint Nothing Gonna Hold Me Down". I know! Freakin' perfect. So the lady that he hands this last rose bush to asks why he is handing out bushes while he is dying and he replies, "I want to leave this world with something alive, something left to grow."

END.

Infuckingtense. Then my alarm went off and I had to drag myself into the shower half asleep, thinking there was a killer waiting in the wings to whack me with a paint can. I am not even going to try to get Freudian on that dream. My favorite part was the Men at Work song. Even in my subconscious I am a comedic genius. ;)

I am really excited to get rid of all my stuff and bring my belongings down the the bare minimum. Casting off my (few) worldy posessions and living in a tin hut in Central America is probably the closest I will ever become to being an ascetic, so maybe I will have some grand revelation like Buddha and start my own religion. You are all invited to join it when I come back; just send your tithings and I will make sure you get into heaven.

Last Dietrichs show in 6.25 hours.

You better be there.

I just realized (thanks, Google) that my LJ is already on a list of blogs written by people who are in or going to Nicaragua for the Peace Corps.

http://www.peacecorpsjournals.com/nu.html

Jesus H. Christ. I feel a little naked. I haven't written too much in here re: peace corps stuff, so all these soon-to-be PCVs are going to be disappointed at finding my pointless blogging. So if you are here looking for some insight in life in Nica - sorry! I am looking for it, too.

:)

I received my Peace Corps placement offer yesterday. Jessica sent me a text (thanks!) that I received while walking back to Steve's from Zia Records. I instantaneously got this weird excited-ill feeling in my stomach that I have only ever experienced while conducting (pardon the nerd in me). It's a mixture of euphoria, mania, extreme anxiety and the sensation that I could throw up any second. Steve saw this and suggested we go get it right away. I kind of wanted to stew in this feeling so we decided to watch a Ben Fold's DVD then go get it. Meanwhile the feeling that I am going to vomit becomes more intense.

We get to my house and there it is - the package heard round the world! Ok, heard in my kitchen. I didn't even have to open it. The letter inside shifted and the address window revealed the word Nicaragua. I tried to keep composure and opened it with my shaky little fingers and was suddenly overwhelmed by the massive amount of information inside the package. I was totally overstimulated. Nicaragua! To be a part of the Teaching English as a Foreign Language program. Perfect.

There was a definite mood shift after the initial reaction and Steve kinda flopped onto my bed, looking a little sullen and donning a weak smile. "Two years...I don't want you to go! You need my address." Oh no, mister. I can't handle any more emotions or I am going to burst open. We decide on FEZ for dinner and I try to not let any of this distract me for the rest of the evening and make me any more excitable.

Of course, it did and I was. I still have that ache in my stomach and it's 3 pm the next day. I hope this doesn't last for the next 2 and a half months.

I told both of my parents about an hour and a half ago. They similar reactions - supportive yet hesitant. As soon as I said "Nicaragua" I could hear my dad Googling in the background. When I told my mom she said, "Whyyyyyyyyyy!?" They both were wary but supportive as they have been all along. And just as I had suspected, now that there's a timeline, I am freaking out a little bit too. Not in a bad way. I am really excited. I have done a lot of researching today and very little working.

I think Steve and I may be taking a trip to Ohio? I need to see my sisters before I leave and he wants to show me "The Farm" that I have heard soo much about. We'll see if this plan ever comes to fruition.

So there it is.

Omg.

Friday...

Started off with a lovely dinner with Toddles. Much better than the super healthy whole wheat pasta I was about to choke down. Then I hung out at the boys' house and played "Kings" and "Asshole" for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long. I was distracted by bad news. I drank a watermelon vodka concoction that smelled like freshman girls at a party. Needless to say, poor choice. I am old and was buzzed by 1.5 beers and one cocktail. I am much better now at restraining myself from doing things that hurt my body (aka boozin').

Saturday...

Ran a bunch of errands with the boys. We went out for Sushi with a bunch of people. They tried to get me to try it and I just couldn't do it. Chicken bowl for Liz. Beth held out for the new Pita Pit and was disappointed. Qué tragíco. The Sushi place was great, though. The service was amazing, the food was too pretty to eat and the prices were hella low. Steve bought me a ticket to P-Funk for Valentine's day and told me to ask for the next day off because he says it is going to be that crazy. Truth be told, I am a bit scared about all the washed-up, drugged-out hippies. Will's mother is coming which should be interesting. We hung out at Steve's work friend's house. His wife made us Banana bread, the males put together a closet thing and we all watched The Military Channel, The Science Channel and some really awful show that Jennifer Love Hewitt stars in. Aghast with disdain, I exclaimed, "What is she doing?!" To which Steve replied, "Ruining her career." Indeed. The absolute highlight of the weekend was the Chris Merritt show at The Modified Arts. A bunch of Steve's friends (I suppose I can call them my friends considering I have known them for nearly seven months now) decided to come to the show and were actually pumped about it, which was refreshing. The opening band was mediocre and trying to be Radiohead but coming off as a weird mix of Coldplay and James Blunt. They were from Hollywood and definitely looked the part. Fancy vests and all. Chris came on and we were all front row. It was amazing. Beth and I were written into a song! Steve and his/my friends even bought CDs and Chris signed them. We were all on a serious music high after that. Will said he has never seen me so engaged in something like I was at the show. I was so excited I was sweating profusely. We then went to 4 Peaks and the service was yet again subpar...it's a good thing they have good food and beer. We met Adam there and I nearly disowned him for not telling me about being engaged, but before he even said hi (he knows me this well) he quickly told me that he was waiting to tell me in person. Well played, friend. Tony came later and we all had a little reunion. It was good.

Sunday...

Woke up at 7 AM with terrible ear and throat pain and the feeling that my head would explode any second. Had to bail in the FBR open, but since Beth had expressed interest in going, she took my ticket and it all worked out...well, sort of. Beth and Jessica both said it was terribly cold and boring. Beth brought me back an interesting gift from the FBR and that's all I care to say about that! Steve did some chores while I layed on the couch, listening to his newly acquired Chris Merritt CD and wallowed in my illness. We went back to his work friend's house (banana bread house) and putzed we watched the Superbowl which was awful and boring until the last three minutes. All the commericals sucked. Steve and I killed about half a bottle of Chloraspetic between us throughout the day. We did get to eat home made chili and later had pie & ice cream. That was good, though I couldn't taste the dessert at all. It just felt good on my swollen throat. Then we came home and watched Bad Boys which was easily one of the most violent movies I have ever seen. I don't really care to see it again.

Monday...

I woke up at 7:15 with the same terrible ear ache and throat pain accompanied by sinus pressure and general misery. Against my conviction about not going to the doctor, I thought it best after a month and a half of illness, to call the doctor and get this taken care of. I called in sick and made an appointment. I couldn't go back to sleep because I couldn't breathe laying down so I nestled into that terrible grey couch (padded bench is more like it - no offense to Justin who so painstakingly picked it out!) and watched some celebrity rehab and then some Janice Dickinson. I made the loooooong trek to Power and the 202 and waited, waited, waited for my doctor. It took two medical assistants to get my blood pressure because the digital machine was not working. "Is your bp normally 90/160?" I don't know. She looks at my chart. "Hmm...it's usally blah blah blah. Let me get another MA" Second MA comes and inflates that terrible device arond my arm for the fourth time. "Ummm..102/160." I have no idea what that means and whether or not that's good. Anyways. The doctor looked in my ears & throat, listened to me breathe and then sat down and wrote a script for Zithromax. Antibiotics - just what I didn't want. I guess I have an ear/sinus infection, though she didn't elucidate me with even the slightest detail of what was making me so miserable. I hate going to the doctor. So I start driving East on the 202 from Power and I see the sign for the 101 North. 1.5 Miles. Thank God, I am in such pain...I just want to go home. So I drive and drive and all the sudden the freeway ends and I have no idea where I am. I must have missed the 101 exit and landed in BFE suburban hell. I drove back to Tempe, went to CVS, went to the alteration place, went to safeway, then back to CVS where the dumb ass pharm tech proceeded to provide me with some top notch customer service. Oy Vey. Is this day over? I came home, pumped myself with hormones, pseudophedrine, pain relievers and antibiotics. And I topped it off with Chloraseptic, of course. I started a cleaning rampage and couldn't stop. Laundry. Kitchen. Bathroom. Then I made cupcakes that were supposed to be purple and turned out grey. It doesn't matter because the real reason I make cupcakes is to decorate them. They all had a theme/personality. Emocake, Slutcake, Racistcake (said "Whites Only"), Fascistcake (had pic of Hitler), Lunarcake, Stellarcake, Peniscake, Boobcake, Saxaphonecake, Loudcake (had forte sign), Misfitscake (pic of Danzig), and of course a personalized cake for each of my roommates, one for Steve and one for Will. I kept twelve and took twelve to the boys. I also took Steve some meds, a shower vaporizer tab, black tea and clean sheets. I know he wouldn't think to wash his sheets after two sick people have slept in them all weekend. Sometimes I get that maternal thing and feel the need to take care of people. Plus, I have given him so many illnesses from the shelter. It's the least I can do. I stayed there and drooled on Steve's arm and had some mildly entertaining dreams that I can't recall right now.

Tuesday...

The whole ordeal wouldn't be complete without an adverse reaction to the meds, right? Seriously. This is why I don't go to the doctor. So on top of my illness, I am sitting here at my desk, ready to vomit or pass out. I Googled the Pfizer Co. to see if some of the side effects I was feeling were normal. It said "IF YOU EXPERIENCE A,B, or C SIDE EFFECT, CALL YOUR DOCTOR." Awesome. I was experiencing all of these. I called the doctor and she said that it was normal and to drink a lot of water. Thanks. I am eternally grateful. I have spent my entire lunch break blogging and I have a ridiculous amount of DES billing to get done before I leave. Then I get to go vote (provisional ballot...stupid change of address).

God Bless America and God Bless You for reading this far.

I don't have anything to do at work. I haven't had anything to do for a good hour and it's only a quarter to three. I hate this. I feel really gross because I woke up late and didn't take a shower. I just want to leave and go to the gym and then go home and take a really long shower.

The weather has been pretty great lately. A little overcast, but not cold. I am always in a better mood when the weather is agreeable.

I am getting really anxious about my dumb Peace Corps stuff. All I need to do is compile my medical papers, get my doctor to sign her name about 50 times and send them to DC. Problem is my doctor's office is always packed. Freakin' Flu season. I spent a good hour or so reading the blogs of current and past PCVs that were assigned in the Caribbean. The only complaints they had were the big bugs and hot weather. I have one of those in the bag considering I live in AZ, giant bugs are a small thing to deal with in comparison to, say, having no running water. But I guess it really depends on where you are on what island as to your accommodations...some ppl have no water and no electricity for large parts of the day. Whaaatever. Bring it. It seems like the people on St. Lucia have pretty sweet digs. I don't think I want sweet digs. I think I want a real Lord of the Flies type experience. Minus the murder and the madness and the dead guy stuck in the tree.

Let's talk about The Golden Compass. This movie is based on a novel by Phillip Pullman. Christians are getting up in arms about it becuase they think that this movie is out to brainwash children into wanting to kill God. Ok, if your religion is so fragile that a single movie in the course of world history will catalyze its demise, maybe your religion is not the monolith it thinks itself to be. There are allegations that this man is an atheist out to teach the world's children to disassemble organized religion and oust God from their lives. First of all, this man isn't even atheist. I went to his website -his personal website- and read some Q&As he had about this subject. He is Agnostic, basically. He says nothing about the ruin of religion and his alleged plan to take over theism with a few books. IF he has spoken out so adamantly on this subject before, wouldn't it be in his personal website? I dunno. People are wacky. And this movie looks great, IMHO. Who wants to go see it? Then we will have the blueprints to ruin christianity! Christianity has already been ruined ...by Christians.

It's only 3 pm. Blimey. What does that even mean? I wish I had Garage Band. I would make sweet tunes all day at work. I made a song at Todd and Brian's and it's basically the next big thing.

I am looking at the calendar and I see that it is not May yet. Damn it.

1. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?

sleeping on my bed. alone. :(

2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?

I need to leave my car keys on the chair so that I don't have to get up to move my car two times a day for my roommates.

3. Is the person you like older or younger than you?

*resigned sigh* younger

4. What did you do last night?

went to the gym

5. What do you hope to do this weekend?

try to chill the f*ck out in CA with my roommates and brother rob.

6. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?

That's a good question. I really don't know... Honestly? Probably not considering the current state of affairs.

7. Do you own a stereo that costs more than $100?

no way! not in AZ!!

8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?

yes.

9. How's your heart lately?

pissed off/tired/elated/bipolar/satisfied/unsatisified/unsure/totally sure

10. What were you doing this morning at 7am?

sleeping...barely

11. What will you be doing this afternoon at 12 pm?

eating lumch and reading the new york times online or doing paperwork

12. Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer?

no...things happen the way they happen.

14. What was the reason you last cried?

i think it was about a month and a half ago. alone in a parking lot. sucked.

15.Have you ever talked to someone that was high?

haha. yes, more often than I should admit.

20. How many red lights have you ran?

one. but I was totally freaked out cause someone had just broken into my car.

21. Have you ever cried in the shower?

yep.

22. What was your favorite grade(s)?

senior of high school... good boy. good home. good friends. good grades. good future.

23. What were you doing at 12am last night?

putting away laundry

24. Whats a sure way to catch your attention?

say something that pisses me off or play a song i like.

25. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?

who hasn't?

26. When was the last time you were given flowers?

sometime during last semester when i worked at a middle school.

27. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?

a hug.

28. Where did your last hug take place?

speak of the devil... at my desk with a toddler who came to visit! I want to adopt her!

29. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?

no

30. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?

not that often, but i am sure i have.

31. Do you drink tea?

yes. not green, though. yuck.

32. When was the last time you saw a cop?

today @ 8:25 AM, two cars behind me on McClintock.

33. Did you ride in someone else's car today?

nope

34. When was the last time you ran?

like ran for running's sake? two weeks ago.

How about this freaking weather?Just amazing. I had an eventful, awesome, fantastic weekend.

Friday

I fell asleep at my desk. I had nothing to do, my boss was in Rocky Point...what's a girl to do? Sleep. This was after my dentist appt. Yay for getting more PC stuff done. After work, to Oregano's for ex-co-worker's birthday. Watched coworkers get smashed on Bellinis (get one!). My other ex-co-worker def was hitting on me. Awk-ish...he needs to get laid is all. Poor guy. I am not your woman, sorry guy. Still a good time and I did not have to throw down one red cent. Up to no good at co-worker's house after. Had good conversation, good beer. Drove birthday girl home. Slept in her giant bed.

Saturday

Drove home at 8 am. Brought toddles breakfast. Happy early birthday-ish.

Went to Steve and Will's. Let's go hiking. South Mountain. Lost in the desert! Blister on foot. :( Steak for dinner with the boys. Nap time. Four Peaks. Bed at 3 am.

Sunday

Up at 8 am. Mapquest Sedona. Weather.com. Not too cold. QT. Gas, air for tires and coffees. Wake up call. Get out of bed, time for Sedona! Knock Knock on Todd's window. Happy Real Birthday! Tired face in window. Forgot the birthday card! :( Wake and Baker Steven. Liz fiddles with car. Off to Sedona.

..::radiohead.reel big fish. captain squeegee. star. cake::..

2 hours later. Sedona! Fooooood. Full. Hike up Cathedral Rock. Almost die. Shmooz with hippies. Hike down 800 foot vertical with large blister, back injury and need to pee!!! Peeeeeee at circle K. ..::weezer.postal service. death cab. pete yorn::..

1.5 hours later. Free burritos from Will. :) Take one bite. Ugh not hungry. Bruce Lee movie. talk talk and stuff. Shower^MAX. Eat left over burrito.

DEATH.

Ok, if you don't know what I am talking about, you need to pick up/click on a freakin' newspaper. I am going to give you the opportunity right now to go to YouTube and search "Kerry + Taser" or "Florida + Taser" or you could simply type in the above mentioned call out to a brah and I bet you'll get the same results.....

.........

http://www.youtube.com

........

Ready? Ok. Well, my initial reaction to this story was complete outrage. It was my secondary and tertiary reaction, too, because I am still fuming about it. This story, combined with a Fox News piece (I was forced to watch at the gym) about a policeman who was tragically shot, has resurged my waning interest in journalism (or at least my waning interest in a career in journalism) - but we'll get to that later.

I try to not be a conspiracy theorist or one of those people who call every authority figure a fascist (if those people were in middle school, they would be diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder, put on Ritalin and removed to a classroom with other children suffering from "Emotional Disabilities"...but I am not going to talk about children's behavioral health or special education right now). I try to be more cool-headed than I have been in the past about political (or seemingly political)¹ issues. But this story got that stagnant blood, hot with the lava of injustice, pulsing straight to the top of my head!² IMHO, these police were completely unjustified in tasing this poor guy, nay, poor bro. They were only partially justified for giving him such a hard time about his tirade at Kerry. If it is such a crime on humanity to rant incoherently at a political Q&A, they could have less-forcibly removed him from the premises, got on with their lives and saved themselves and the University of Florida the PR fiasco (and maybe lawsuit?) that they just got themselves into.

My three problems with this whole situation are (1) The poor kid got tased. Wtf is this? Are we back in the U.S.S.R? Christ. (2) Kerry, who was clearly audible, asked repeatedly for the student to be let go so he could address his questions. If Mr. Senator Kerry asks you, lame campus police, to let an unarmed (albeit a little attention seeking) fellow go, let him go! (3) Because this bright young man has passion, drive, ambition, a sense of humor and a dash of twenty-something narcissism, he is being painted by the media as a class clown – not a serious student with serious passions and beliefs.

In all fairness, I have to mention two facts that keep coming up in the pieces about this tasing incident. (1) He allegedly asked a person to record him as he went up to the mic. He allegedly said something along the lines of, “Are you recording? Are you getting this?” (2) Allegedly he was jovial and relaxed in the police car, saying that he understood why the police tased him.

Ahem.

Both of these were written in the giant 11-page diatribe of a police report filled out by the same officer who claimed that this man was tased for “inciting a riot”. I have never seen a riot where people were sitting in an organized fashion in an auditorium. Maybe I don’t clearly understand the word “riot”…hmm. Let me Wikipedia that. Ok, no. Organization & sitting are not components. Back to the issue at hand. Given the circumstances, I don’t know that I would go trusting the police report on this one.

All humor aside, this is scary. It really is. You hear the voices of students who realize what is going on, pleading with the police. “Why are you doing that? Stop it! He isn’t doing anything!” It gave me a chill. And if it doesn’t give you one, then your sense of injustice, right and wrong, democracy and freedom of speech has clearly been tased.

¹ My friend, the paren, what would I do without you? I surely couldn't do (this).

² Yes, I just wrote that. Get over it

Everyday things are getting closer to changing astronomically and I sometimes wonder how I'll fare. There are a lot of variables floating around my brain these days and it's hard to keep them in order. I can't believe Martha will be gone in a week and a half. SAD. But we are both moving on. She is closer to her dream industry and I am closer to the Peace Corps and we are both a little farther away from our old lives (and freaking out a little about it). I think Newton is coming into play here because our eating, sleeping, and some other ..umm..indicative behaviors have reverted abruptly back to what they were a year and 4 months ago. We are holding on for dear life, but we know the real world is sprawled out before us like a map... waiting for us to follow along. I don't know that either of us wants to. Who does? Fuck the map! Fuck this dumb metaphor.

On the other hand, I am really excited because a lot of things are going well. A lot of my close friends are off doing this and that, but they say when one door closes you can take a lot of LSD and hallucinate the opening of a portal to outer space, right? At the ripe old age of 23 I am meeting new friends (you'll meet them at The -capital T, capital P- Martha's Moving to Mormontown Party, I hope) and all is right with the universe.

All I can think of are cuss words right now. I'll just end this.

My peace corps recruiter is nominating me to teach English in the Caribbean.

Scene

[Liz is tired after a long day of work. She sits on the couch to read a few pages of a book when the intercom comes on over her unit at the children's shelter.]

Intercom: Liz? LIZ?!

Liz: [resginedly sighs] Hold on, I am coming to the phone.

Girl on phone: HELLO?!

Liz: Yes, hello?

Girl: Uhh.. we just got three intakes, I've got two kids on the couch and two in the bathtub and someone threw up and ...and...and...I am going to go fucking insane. You need to come over here! NOW!"

It was a good night.

P.S. After we cleaned up the puke and remade the kid's bed and put everyone else back to sleep, he threw up again.

please someone tell me it's ok to like that goddamned Paramore song.

*eyeroll*

shit, i am not as cool as i think.

Today is the first day of a new chapter! Martha got a job offer from Backcountry.com. So in about 3-4 weeks she'll be off to Utah and I will be fucking depressed! I am so indescribably happy for her, though. Every bone in my body says she will be happy there and this is a good idea (despite BOTH of our dads thinking it's a raw deal...but what do dad's know about being a happy twenty-something? NADA!).

So that means I have to start packing, too. Pure madness. It keeps with my trend of moving every single year since i was 17. This is move number 7...that I can count. As for where I am moving, well that's a hotly debated subject in this little brain of mine but I have a good idea...and it's somewhere where I am told I can still wear no pants if it suits me. More on that later.

Today I spent a lot of money. I got my hurrr cut at Rolf's. FANCY. I felt special...and out of place. But the lady did exactly what I wanted her to and I was good and didn't lop it off. I will probably lop it off before I go to the PC, because who knows what the shower situation will be. God help me if I can't shave. then I went to Barnes & Noble for a chai and some reads. I dislike B&N for a few reasons:

1. I worked at Borders.

2. Seattle's Best>Starbucks ( I know, same company but diff espresso tastes and barista techniques)

3. There are no info kiosks - you have to talk to the stupid employees.

4. They use walkies instead of ear bugs - distracting!

5. The layout fucking blows.

Because of reasons number 3 & 5 I had to ask the disgruntled employee three different questions.

(1) Where are the graphic novels? By science fiction? Well that's a gay place for them.

Then I couldn't for the life of me remember how to spell Nabokov so ...

(2) Where's Lolita? On a table? Well, fucking Chrizzy, you should have some in the proper section, too.

(3) Where's the postsecret books? In cultural studies? Well where the fuck is that? And thanks for not directing me to the proper section.

Then I felt weird buying a Postsecret book and Lolita...made me seem pervy.

My throat hurts and my tummy is sort of wonky. This is not good for my addiction to Phenol. I will abuse the chloraseptic. Speaking of additions, I got some new Visine cause I couldn't find my amazing Rhoto-V that burns so good. mmm eye drops. Where was I?? I don't know. I am going to put drops in my eyes and spray lots of cherry flavored Phenol into my esophagus and read about pedophilia.

Just another monday night in the life of an OG.

In a funk.

That sums up just about everyone I know these days. Everyone either hates their job, have drama with their friends/significant others or are so completely bored and jaded that they are nearing insanity.

So tonight we did something about it.

People gathered: check. Social event: check.

And how did it turn out? Awkward. We segregated ourselves from the small crowd and complained nearly the whole time. What has happened to us?

I met a certain fellow who invaded my bubble space and touched my bum waaaaay too many times for us just having met a scanty 2 hours before. That kinda put a rain cloud over any cheeriness I was willing to feign. I passive agressively threatened homicide. He didn't catch on.

I ended the night (morning) with dinner. Cheetos and gatorade from a Shell. Bought at 2:52 am. I know. Healthy. I was hungry and thirsty and poor, thus my two dollar and eighteen cent gourmet feast.

Now I am sittting here in my green underwear, ready to be nose deep in my Little Book of Hindu Deities...and I am fine with that.

Hellooooo early twenties.

Today was the first day in a long time that I felt good. I was in a good mood. I slept well. I only woke up twice. Once at 4:30 am and once later. So yay for that. I haven't been sleeping through the night lately, or it's just a really restless sleep. : P I actually went to the gym and wasn't in a huge hurry to get back home and get to work. One of the asu dancers works at my gym. Well, "works"...she is always sitting on her bum. I went home and made an iced latte and thought about how much I missed making lattes *sigh*. It was tasty. I had a long shower and got out and had lots of time to get ready. It was like time was going slower just for me today. I am usually so rushed.

Erin Ali informed me that some UAT boy thinks I am "cute". Maybe this is the gods giving me a second chance after the Del Taco guy incident. *chuckle* He is Canadian. + 10 points. But he does go to UAT...he could wear Dragon Ball Z shirts, so that would be problematic. Even worse, he could be obsessed with online RPGs and World of Warcraft. You just never know with those types. Anyways...that's cool, I guess.

So yeah, I was in a fantastic mood. It was kind of sad to realize that I hadn't felt that genuinely happy just to exist in a long time. Kinda weird. Anyhow all that was shot to crap when work gossip ensued. I hate that shit. I really do. Around 8:30 pm I decided that I couldn't be around anymore children or adults and I went on a cleaning rampage. I listened to KBAQ because it's not offensive to my ears or any possibly-in-earshot children.

Tomorrow I have a day off and I hope that I get to drive to Waddell to see my little sister. :) She is in town through July, so I think I will just drive out there as much as possible. She is basically the raddest 10 year old you'll ever meet. Then again, who in my family isn't one of the raddest people you'll ever meet? That's right. We are all awesome and fantastical.

things he has done for me...

1) One time he fixed my head light.

2) He did my taxes this year.

3) HE JUST FIXED MY COMPUTER

*not like that, sickos.

Today I woke up feeling great. Opened my eyes, sat up, stretched, smiled with the knowledge that I woke up before my alarm clock went off AND I felt rested! I do not smile in the AM. I am a crustacean with biting claws. So,"Yay", I think. "Yay for this pure moment of calm." Untiiiilll I looked at the clock. 9:07 said the red digital bars. School started 12 minutes ago. I retreated into my exoskeleton and cursed myself for being late YET AGAIN. I called the teacher I work with. She laughed and said, "Come in whenever." Thank goodness for her lightheartedness. But, damn, my hair looked great today. *fuffs hair* I should wake up late more often. Plus the kids are always so grateful when you show up late becuase they think you are not going to show up at all. It's a dirty, dirty trick.

I was going to write a long and insightful post about self esteem and loving yourself, but I am sorta having writer's block. Let me just boil it down to this: To all my friends, I love you the way you are - with twists and turns and quirks and faults and weird laughs and bad humor and worse spelling and bad hair days *re-fluffs hair* and social awkwardness and funny taste and poor choices and crazy thoughts and all that other jazz. I love you all the way you are and I wish you would, too. More than one person has told me this week that they are "jealous" of someone else for a plethora of reasons. You have no reason to be, because you are fanstastic all by yourself - the way you are - and that's why I spend time with you.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

*star passes over the screen"

[sung] The more you knoooooow.

Besides, I don't spend time with people who are not fabulous and excellent. hmph.

Ok, enough with that hippy bullshit. I can't sleep lately and it's proving detrimental to my state of mind. No matter how tired I am, I just can't sleep. I blame the intarnetz, The O'Reilly Factor, disgusting condiments and the Discovery Channel - just to name a few.

I need to find a new job come May25. Please land on my lap. That would be nice. Kthx!

One of my students keeps drawing me pitures of Che Guevara. It's really cute. I am going to miss that stuff when I leave. I am making sure to keep every scrap of student art cause I know my access to it will soon be cut off. There is something so pure about the bad art and misspelled messages of affection we get from these kids. It reminds you of the potential there is for good.

What the hell? How did I get on another fluffy hippy topic? That's it! This blog is over!

i can't seem to muster up enough motivation or courage to do ANYTHING these days.

I wish I had a digital camera. I would document my mundane life...for you.

Bloggity blog blog.

Considering I have to get my brown ass up at 4:00 am, I should not be on the interweb. Problem is, I haven't packed, I am not tired, I need to shower and I have clothes in the laundrizzle. I am a procrastinator. I spent most of the day at Tuna's parents' house eating a lot of meat and sugar snap peas (see facebook pics...har har) instead of doing the things i needed to....one of those things being cleaning out my trunk.

I decided to do this trunk cleaning about a half hour ago. I had two huge packs of whatnot and sunder, made my way to the elevator and held the door for whomever it was I saw getting out of their car just as I closed my trunk. Nothing is worse than someone rushing to the elevator just so they dont have to share the 3' by 5' space with you, a Stranger. In the middle of the night I would normally not hold the door - I would just hurry on up to the third floor like the closet xenophobe I am. My sixth sense did me well this night becuase I got to share the elevator with a hot mormon. This guy was way too polite and clean to be a commoner, a civilian like you or I. He actually asked if he could help me with my bags-o-crap and carried a decent conversation. I didn't know he was hot until about halfway through our ride when I looked over. I suddenly became very conscious of the fact that I hadn't showered in a good 40 hours or so. Note to self, Hot Polite Conversational Mormon lives on the 3rd floor, first door on the left. Gotta keep tabs on stuff like that should I ever convert out of boredom or the need to procreate.

I think being an adult is (1) learning how to deal with adverse (or what seems adverse) situations with a rational head, (2) being realistic, and (3) taking charge of things in your life - especially things, people or personal traits that you think are negatives. It's your responibility to bear it, change it, or leave it.