I haven't written in while but as I am on the eve of yet another adventure abroad I thought I'd set down some of what's going on. First to catch up. Since I last wrote I finished up teaching in Korea (Nov 30th 2010). I came out of that experience with a very strong appreciation for Korea and gladly a good recommendation letter for grad school. On January 3rd 2011 took a stab at the Foreign Service Oral Assessment but sadly was not able to make it through on that go around. It was only my first though so here's hoping next year goes better. Then quickly following that I sent in all my grad school applications and headed out to the Republic of Georgia to teach as part of a program Teach and Learn with Georgia. I spent 5 months with a fantastic Georgian family and some great co-teachers. I have some more fabulous memories from Georgia too now, including that of their hospitality, their music, their dancing, their wine, and their food. The language is great too though it'd require some more time to accomplish. During my time in Georgia I discovered I'd gotten into all the grad schools I'd applied to, and that all 3 had a scholarship for me. Yay! However the scholarship which was truly tempting was the one that offered the chance to go teach and live seriously in the Middle East for a bit too. On the one hand I have enjoyed the area of U of Denver for some time now and wished to go there so the MA in Global Finance Trade and Economic Integration seemed great. Yet I am also seriously interested in Public Diplomacy as all who've seen me trying to become an FSO can attest. In that vein I wished more to try for the University of Syracus's dual MA/MS in Public Relations and International Relations. But related to that interest is my desire to learn Arabic and more about Middle Eastern culture which could only truly be attained through living in the area, an option offered by SIT's MA TESOL option. In the end I decided for my MA in TESOL from the tiny by comparison SIT in Vermont. It combined by far the best financial scholarship with the chance to learn Arabic, and be involved in some on the ground public diplomacy. So June 1st I got back to the U.S. and June 13th headed over to Vermont to start my classes. The classes were 8 weeks long and ended up being more interesting and enlightening than I expected. There are 10 of us headed to KSA to teach at a university in Riyadh, so I am encouraged. I had a chance to build some repore with my future coworkers, and get to know some future bosses. Even better many of the people going will be women. I'm really excited by that because I know what was a trial to me on Zanzibar was sometimes trying to relate my frustrations with the gender segregation to the male PCVs on the island. As much as they sometimes tried its hard to understand what you haven't experienced. Everything else seems above board too for the Saudi adventure but nevertheless there is the behemoths of embassy to contend with. I'm currently awaiting a new visa number. Yet I have hi hopes.In the end I'm nervous and excited and nervous. I'm sure I'll feel it even more as the days approach. Being in Georgia felt right because I was able to finish something I'd started when I went into the Peace Corps 6 years ago. Fatefully these adventures will start almost exactly 6 years apart, as I went in September 2006 then too. I'm hoping Saudi Arabia will be that chance too. A chance to either close a chapter of my life I haven't ever understood fully or perhaps to finally open it so I can reflect properly. I'll be teaching at a University this time, which means I'll have traversed almost all the grades possibly of education from kindergarten through post-college education. I did kindergarten and elementary in Korea, middle and high school in Tanzania, Zanzibar,and Georgia, and adult education in Georgia and on Zanzibar. Also of course there was all that sub teaching and tutoring in the U.S. For a girl who once claimed she'd never teach again I've sure done a bad job at keeping my promise. As for me in Saudi Arabia I'll use this blog as ever - a chance to explore and reflect on my experiences in greater depth. I'm looking into cultural identity and how people self identify. I'm also interested in methods of teaching and the way they affect the students and the content matter. In addition this will be my first experience in a truly totalitarian culture, where civil rights like freedom of expression do not exist and I may use this blog to express that which I will not be able to vocalize in my daily life. In that respect I would ask please for no one to republish my comments on anything controversial. You may get me into more trouble than you meant to and more than that I haven't decided to go to Saudi Arabia to change anything, but instead to understand it. There are external factors I wish to understand like, Arabic culture, Muslim Culture, tribal culture, the political revolutions in the Middle East, and how these things are interrelated, and at odds with each other. Especially I'd like to better understand the U.S. involvement in it, especially perhaps teachers, and the effect they've had. I'm interested in seeing the reality of women's education on the ground, not hearing what CNN or FOX news reports say things are like, but seeing it for myself. But there are also personal factors I want to understand, which is how I as a person have grown and changed since I started traveling 6 years ago. I want to take the experiences I've had with Muslim people in the U.S., in Tanzania, on Zanzibar and in Turkey and contrast that with the experience I'll have with Muslim culture here and the people I meet. I want to try to discern where religion ends and culture begins or how deeply intertwined and interdependent both are on each other. The same goes for my experiences with education and culture. I want to finally fully comprehend my relationship with conservative religious culture and see how I've changed and grown since I last looked at it. In a sense I feel like I started something on Zanzibar that I really want to complete and I look forward to the chance to do that. This blog will be a way, whether obvious or not to you my good friends, of doing that. I hope you will be understanding as always of my reflections and take everything with a patient heart. Keep an eye on the idea that nothing is constant except perhaps faith, hope and love. I have faith in this process, hope for the future, and love for you all. Best wishes on all your adventures and please keep me in your prayers for this one.

One of the downsides of teaching is, in many ways the influence you have over children. I mean as a kindergarten teacher I have the ability - if I do things poorly- to screw them up from the start of their lives. Thats a lot of responsibility! For myself the dramatic points are always involved around walking the line between keeping their minds creative and keeping the classroom discipline. However thats a whole other story. Nevertheless for a time I thought, really won't it be nice to join a real career where I can sit behind a desk and not worry that my mistakes will really affect people permanently. However it occurred to me today, that will never happen. I mean keeping humility in mind, from this point on I will never again have a job where it won't matter how much effort I put into it. There will never be a job that I have which won't carry the weight of someone else depending on my results. As a FSO though I'm more removed from it, I'm certain that my stamping or not stamping a visa will affect certain people greatly. A lawyer, a policeman, a doctor, a teacher, a psychologist, heck even a dentist affects people positively or negatively. An insurance broker who answers claims poorly will absolutely affect the health and wellbeing of his clients. There is no job I find interesting which the results of my work are unimportant. I've been dealing with the concept of this as relates to friends for a while, but I'll probably get married and/or have children eventually where I will have a gigantic impact on lives. I guess maybe this occurs to people at different times but it feels like a turning point for me. Maybe its because I never really feel older than I did in 6th grade. Yet I turn around and suddenly I'm 27. It doesn't feel old to me but its not particularly young anymore. Its not age that makes the difference though possibly. Its responsibility. The more I examine this concept the more adult like I feel. There is no running away from the responsibilities. I can not hide behind the "I'm a kid, I didn't know". As an adult the responsibility always lies with you, the most important of all - to make the world better. You can't run away from it. You have to argue the case better, diagnose better, teach better analyze better, be more understanding, and make even mouths better. If you don't do it, no one will. No ones perfect, but we must try and we can't run away from that necessity that nows the time for us to try better. Thats being an adult.

Or I could do something uninteresting that pays poorlyroad kill cleanup?hair cutting (It affects people but only for the weeks and months thats necessary for a bad haircut to grow out)bricklaying? A waitress

No life in that. A shame. Alas my childhood has passed!

So here I am, in an airport again - contemplating the nature of life, the universe and everything. The weather is no good here- raining and a tropical storm coming through by the looks of the news this morning. Nevertheless I hope for good things. The end of the vacation here and back to school time for me (as soon as I can make it home). My folks are back in the U.S. already I believe, and Pat is safe on base. Yours truly is the still lingering over thoughts of the vacation. First - as always it is great to see everyone. Pat especially I haven't been able to see in forever - so I was especially glad to get a chance to see him, since I'm not certain when we'll see each other again. Second - of course it was great to see Mom and Dad as well. I'm so blessed to have parents who support me in my traveling ways. I'm sure they'd like to see me settled more firmly in a career or family as much as anyone, but they never push an idea on me. They say their honest opinion assertively, but then leave it at that. They never shy away from the honesty for fear of what I'd do ( I appreciate it when someone recognizes that my actions and reactions to truthful statements are my own - not the fault or responsibilty of anyone else) as well they never overstate what they've said in order to push me into a decision. Its an admirable wisdom in expression and experience that I have yet to learn. Third - Japan is expensive! Watch out. Korea and China are both far cheaper (China being the cheapest of the 3...Taiwan, somewhere in the middle.) Fourth - Japan is buy far the most American of the Asian countries I've visited in outwards appearences at least. China, Korea and Taiwan are just a little bit more different in expression and personality, its subtle but noticeable. I think Korea perhaps comes in second, but I know Korea far better than I know the other ones, so take what I say with a grain of salt. But if I were to order it, it'd be from most American to least .... Japan, Korea, Taiwan, China. Fifth- I need to get a career and stop just having random jobs. Instead of constently wondering, what's next, I think it'll be nice to have the thrill of adventure with a little bit more assurance of a job status. Sixth - my next few months will likely be very busy so sorry if I don't respond right away. Studying hard and getting into grad school will be a big dent in my social life, and I doubt it'll give me much a chance to make more friends before I go who aren't involved in those things - but as Jake's post says, sometimes things that are hard in the short run, are really good for you in the long run. All my best friends have already left Korea at this point anyway, so I won't feel bad when my going away party is pretty small. I know that people don't every really leave you, their good will echoes at you from wherever they are in the world. You can't see it perhaps, but it helps to know that you are loved out there. Seventh - That admirable assertiveness of expression which is necessary to survive alone in this wild world translates very easily into an annoying strongminded-ness when traveling with others. Everytime I try to stop it, it seems I just put my foot in my mouth. So sorry to those who've noticed. Patience and balance - I will get better at them. Eigth- Japanese food is delicious. Their noodles especially. I had some at this noodle place in Tokyo - best noodles I've tasted in all of the Asia I've visited. Maybe just an excellent restaurant, but nevertheless, deee licious! I'll give credit where its due. Ninth- Being on the airforce base makes me miss America. All the military instillation's and embassies I've been to are like little America's and they make me homesick. It reconfirms to me that which I've often thought - embassy work really might be my perfect match, that wild unpredicatability I crave with alot of the familiarity of home. Its about as close as I'm gonna get anyway. In anycase if nothing else, I'll be glad to get back this winter. The current itch to be abroad has been spent a bit, and being a home for just a little will reinvigorate me a bit I think. Tenth - I've a new author I want to try - a book Wendy recommended and GK Chesterton. I read just a little of him but I shall certainly try to read more, he is as my mom adeptly noticed, a bit too descriptive, but "frighteningly clever with words".

And that's all I got for now. Here's hoping I get on this flight! I'm really really looking forward to picking up my dog honestly. I'm afraid I really like her, and I hope you all get a chance to meet her when I get back. She's a cutie!

Love you all and best wishes till we meet again (and even after that!)

So its the end of summer, begining of fall, and as with the seasons, the wheel of life is turning here in Korea. I'm almost to the end of my 1 year contract - though I've officially extended for 2 extra months, and many things have been stirring here in Korea. 1) Friends are finishing - good friends are finishing up their final tours of Korea, and yet again, I will start anew making friends and building relationships. Its sad. I always get a little bit lonely during these times, and I wish we could all stay and just live around each other forever. But at the same time I cherish the newness and adventure of it all again too. Also now I've been here long enough that I have more other things to fall back on like joining book clubs or irish dancing or other things to heal some gaps in my free time. Which is nice, and you know who introduced me to these things? The friends who are leaving. So its safe to say they leave me the richer for their prescence in so many ways - which is wonderful. Goodbye to everyone who's leaving, its a little like the end of an era! I'll miss you all. Just as Zanzibar did after a while, Busan shall become haunted with the memories of all my departed friends. 2) I'm super busy applying to a BAJILLION Things. Yea I've been pretty stressed lately - applying to everything and waiting for everyone and their brother to get back to me on the results. Pretty much I'm trying the three pronged strategy towards my future (with a 4th waiting on the sidelines just in case) a) get into the foreign service - finally heard back from those guys and woot woot! I've been accepted to the next stage of the process which is the Oral Assessment! This assesment will happen sometime between November and February - I have to sign up for a date at the end of September. I'll probably choose the early one just so I can know sooner. From here on out things should go slightly quicker, if I pass or don't pass the Oral Exam I'll know by the end of the date I take it. Only 2/5 of the people who take it pass , so chances aren't good but hell as one of my favorite quotes goes 'Everything's impossible till it ain't" and in anycase I'm not so afraid of losing something I won't try to have it. Not entirely sure how to study for this beside being well read on a variety of topics so we'll see. I've gotta pass a security check if I pass the test which means if I list any of you folk out there as verifiers that I really did do something, please don't be alarmed. Their gonna do a security check for the last 10 years of my life so the list will be long. b) Grad school - I'm applying to the University of Denver first, I'll apply to the University of Delhi after probably. Right now I've finally got my letters of reference all sorted out. So I sat down and wrote myself a statement of purpose today but I need to do some edits before I call it official and there's some other paperwork for that process. c) Jobs - mostly in South America. I'm fairly certain I won't be able to start Grad School till the fall and I know how quickly saved money can be spent so I'm hoping to get a job in South America at least until the fall during which time I hope my a - medical and security clearances for the foreign service will have passed so I'll be on the list and posted to some interesting location or b - I'll start grad school or c- some of both. I've applied for a LOAD of posts so far and was feeling very frustrated about not hearing back from anyone until lately at which point I've heard back from at least 3. I've interviewed for 2 and am fairly certain one is also in the works so it just depends. I think a job in South America will help me on a variety of fronts. i) because I've never been and I'd love to see it ii)because it'll at least keep me money neutral until I start grad school - thus I'll have a little savings iii) because it'll make me more viable to get picked up by the foreign service. You see even IF I pass the Oral Exam, and the Medical checks, And the 10 year background security clearance (I get to have a security clearance status at that point - like I can see more files labeled top secret how cool is that!) AND the Final Review panel clears me to be on the Registers as a Foreign Service Officer thats no guarantee that I'll be hired to be at a certain post. All it means is I'll be able to be hired. It has been known to happen that people time out and are flushed out of the program. SO I figure if I make myself as hirable as possible - comfortable on a variety of continents fluent in a number of languages all the better. (Every American is gonna be comfortable in Europe or Australia so if I'm also comfortable in South America, Asia and Africa, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist cultures I'm an all around hit no matter who needs me) d) the 4th option is to just go to Peru and get the job in South America after I arrive which should be fairly straightforward to do. Its really cheap to live in such places and once there I'm 100% certain I could get picked up for a teaching job. Even if not as my one friend pointed out - when will you have time to take this much off again ever?So yea, life is rather busy lately 3) Trying to plan an upcoming vacation to Japan. Yup finally gonna get to see Pat! And it seems my folks are going to come to Asia about the same time! I'm very excited to do it all, and to get another country under my belt, and to see my family. Its lovely. Jake you should really come over. As well there's a chance I might see an old friend from the MMB. Its been awhile since I talked to anyone in the Marching Band so it'd be really cool to say hello 4) Just trying to survive and teach my puppy things. Sajaa has had 3 rounds of vaccinations now and is moving towards her last 2. Plus she's adorable and way too much fun to play with _currently annoyed at me for spending too much time on the computer, but when can I say, Mama's gotta find us somewhere to live after this!__Unfortunately though we are still working the housebreaking into things. She's made alot of progress but there's still accidents. Its really a challenge not living on a ground floor and in a city. I've always said I wanted to live in a city at least once, but I think I've now had enough. I'll be ready to move to less crowded areas once this is all over.

Anyway thats more than enough for all. I hope all of your end of summer plans are going well, and Dad - good luck on school again! Can't wait to see you all at the begining of December hopefully!

Love ya!

Sarah

Well I've been here a while and I suppose its about time I said something about our neighbors to the north. There's been much talk about the aggressiveness of our neighbors to the north in recent months - not to far off what there was last summer. A few months back they sunk one of our warships the Cheonan. In response, the South has gone to the U.N. asking for further sanctions, and Clinton - our Sec. of State- and Robert Gates - our Sec. of Defense - traveled to the DMZ as a symbolic gesture of solidarity with the South. During that trip they made dramatic statements about the U.S. not tolerating any more aggression. Is it true? The South Korean Navy and the U.S. Navy started up some naval drills which China has publicly denounced. The North has promised us strong physical retribution for what they perceive as the South's aggression in participating in these drills, and that + China's announcement (China's by far their strongest ally) make it seem even more dangerous. Even more so if you wanna throw in a supernatural warning, before taking this job, a psychic which I went to see on a whim - told me I wouldn't complete the engagement due to physical upheavel in the country. So the questions are 1)should I be worried2)will the U.S. really respond militarily to the next act of aggression the North makes3)Why in the blue blazes would the North really pick a fight that they are bound to come out the loser in - after all even if China should step in on their behalf(as is likely) its not as if the U.S. won't blast any remaining infrastructure they have after 60 years of terrible governance to smitherenes.

In short there answers are - 1) yes 2) no 3) because they like being isolated. But in depth here's what I've learned and read on the issue. My laywoman's take.

1) Yes I should be worried - I mean after all if you live next to a rabid dog it would be unintelligent to not keep a watchful eye on the situation. Nevertheless the North is absolutely like "The boy who cried war". They have threatened physical retaliation towards the south multiple times since I've been here - and I'm doing just fine. There are over 30,000 American troops on this side of the DMZ to back that up. As well, should they actually bomb Seoul as they have multiple times threatened to do, they know, as does the U.S. and China who keep them in check - that they would start World War 3. You see this isn't really about the North and the South but about their allies. The South is obviously backed by the U.S. and the North by China - and aside from the fact that economically the U.S. and China are very very much reliant on each other, neither has any desire to engage in a war that they are not at all certain they could win. We have the superior weapons but they have a substantially larger military pool to draw on. Furthermore not a single country we are militarily allied with or they are wants to enter such a war, and because of the U.S.'s economic might along with China's its safe to say - not a single country in the world that depends on us economically - which is basically everyone through supply and demand - wants war either. There is as well to consider the nuclear technology that the North possesses. Were there a war, in the chaos it would be very easy for that technology to go missing. On top of that many Koreans I've talked to remember what it was like after the war and no one wants to jump from the first world lifestyle they have here to that kind of poverty. Even more than that - suppose that the war ended quickly with minimal lives lost or property damaged. Neither China nor the South are economically prepared for the millions of refugees that are likely to come pouring over there borders. When East and West Germany united the differences monetarily between them caused huge strain on the German economy. There still are issues between them. The difference between the North and the South are vastly larger than those that existed between the East and West. I've lived in the South for almost a year now and I can say they definitely have a first World lifestyle here. The recent reports of the North are though, that hospitals are doing surgery by candlelight with no anesthetic. I've seen videos smuggled across that talk about cannibalism. Its hard for me to think about but I bet China's politicians and the South's have absolutely considered the thought of a million refugees with that kind of economic difference and psychological damage entering their country. Were the peninsula to become one, the south would have to deal with 20 million new citizens (close to doubling their population)with that kind of economic and psychological damage. The consequences would be uncalcuable.

So to sum up, sure I'm concerned, the North does not act sanely, but no not terribly so, because there are numerous, important reasons for such a war not to happen.

2) Is Clinton's statement complete nonsense? Absolutely. For all the reasons stated above the U.S. is very likely to not at all respond to the next act of aggression with war. In fact they already haven't responded. Since the North sunk the Cheonan and Clinton made that statement - the north has captured a Southern fishing ship and torched it. They have as well fired out into the ocean with artillery guns, some of that fire crossing the border - though none of it doing any harm to more than fishes. In fact I read somewhere that since the armistice was signed there have been some 6,000 violations by the North against the South over the past 60 years. Some of the more dramatic ones includ

1)the building of at least 3 tunnels - we suspect more - under the DMZ (all the ones the South found have been emphatically denied by the North, infact the North subsequently denied each tunnels existence, and then accused the South of building the tunnels themselves).2) The violent axe murder of a U.S. military (captain?) Boniface who was cutting down a tree on the Southern side of the DMZ. The U.S. base that sits on our side of the DMZ was renamed Camp Boniface in his memory. 3) The recent sinking of the South Korean warship, the Cheonan.

So my faith that Clintons statement was something other than complete and total B.S. is less than zero.

3) Why would the North pick such a fight? Well I think there are many answers playing into this one. A very obvious answer is that the Northern leadership is patently crazy. You know how power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely? I think they're a bit crazy in that way, because they've had absolute power in their country for the past 60 years and they are absolutely egotistically off their rockers as a result. Another possible reason being that Kim Jung Il is actually fairly old and getting ready to exchange places with his son. Its possible he's trying to prove his strength to his military commanders while the shaky hand-off from father to son takes place. A friend of mine theorizes its actually a way to get aid to the country - they get to act strong and tough - then when they back down a little everyone promises something. Myself I'm not sure how much faith I put in this line of reasoning since there are far more efficient ways to get aid that I can think of - however I concede its validity in the face of them being crazy from their power. Another likely theory says that all this aggressiveness is a distraction. By constantly pulling their citizens attention towards the evil invaders to the South, they have a reason to keep the military large and occupied (all North Korean men are required to spend 10 years in uniform and women are required to spend 7), and a reason to keep their peoples attention off the economy and on the danger elsewhere. The most interesting theory though - was put forth in a book I read by Ian Bremmer. He theorizes that dictators like Suddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, and Kim Jung Il - act in the ways they do, precisely because they want the isolation that the resulting sanctions imposed against them will provide. He points out that all on their own North Korean dictators have made the country the most isolated in the entire world - citizens have to have special permission to even travel to different towns within North Korea - let alone being able to travel outside of it. Owning a phone is very illegal, and the internet does not exist, specifically because, in order to stay in power, they at all costs can not permit an exchange of people or ideas. Communication between their own citizens, let alone communication with citizens in the outside world would expose all the vast web of lies that have to exist inorder for such people to stay in power. They have to have the sanctions because any thawing of relations might entail an exchange of people or ideas -and as well, if the people of North Korea believed that the other countries of the world didn't actually all hate them and wanted to help them or just be friends - they might again start to question what their government had said in the past.

So thats it, my take on the North Korean question. Its a very interesting thing, something I definitely think about, but not all the time. The world is a dangerous place wherever you go - and I have to say, aside from the North, living here is by far the safest place I've lived yet.

On a more personal note - things are well here. I've decided to stay till the end of November. I'll start applying to grad school tomorrow, which I hope to start in January. I find out at the begining of October whether my response to the Foreign Service Test essay questions are good enough to allow my application to continue. I have a dog now named Saja - who's great. I'll take her home with me, and she can go to Denver with me as well if all goes well with my college app. She's pretty small so she travels on an airplane easily and its fun to have someone travel with you. I applied to a special education job in Grenada -the Carribean- which would last 6 months but theres little likelihood I'll get it. I'd have to be accepted to Grad School and get permission to delay admission until September - as well the job would have to overlook how little special education training I have and allow me to start slightly after there professed start date. Nevertheless I do think I could do well at it if given the chance and I definitely think I would enjoy 6 months in the Carribean. I wouldn't make much worth saving but I would at least stay afloat just fine during that time and I think my dog would like having a little more space to run around and more green grass and cool Carribean air to smell. So here's hoping.

Cal congratulations! You guys make a great couple. And to everyone I miss you and love you and hope you all are well. Whenever you get bored feel free to call or text! Be safe!

Sarah

Its been a long while since I've written so I thought I'd better update those I haven't talked to on whats been going on in my life these past few months. Work wise things have been overall quite positive. Beyond the surface frustrations I continue to enjoy working with the kids. My one class, I have to admire their spirit, I hope another 12 years down the road it endures. One of the students likes to be addressed as Phillip - his real name - Robin Hood Potter - from his two heroes, Robin Hood and Harry Potter. Though its switched back and forth between that and Philip Optimous Prime as well. And every morning in the class we have a routine where we unload all of our imaginary weapons because if I don't someone will attack someone else with a broad sword. All the big invisible weapons go in the top drawer and the smaller ones in the bottom, and anyone pulling out imaginary weapons after that has to take a "time out". My most recent debate with them was whether or not a force field inherent in a polo shirt needed to be unloaded - cause after all is a force field really a weapon? And I told them if they didn't the SLP dragon might have to come after them. Our school name is SLP. I'm telling you the class is a handful but you'd probably love them as much as I do. Philip also told me once how over the weekend his father bought an alligator to swim in the bathtub. Sweet eh? I mean really - who doesn't want to have conversations like this in their day? As to career wise, I apply to grad school this coming month which will start in January. Here's hoping. Some concrete good news on the career front though is that I passed the written part of the Foreign Service Officer Test. I was pretty stoked about that since there are various stats floating around that amount to somewhere around only 30% of the people taking the test passing it. Nevertheless thats only one in a serious of daunting cliffs to pass over. After receiving the good news I was instructed to fill out a series of Personal Narratives detailing my leadership skills, managerial skills, communications skills, interpersonal skills, and intellectual skills. Using these narratives, as well as my written FSOT and my initial application a QEP panel will decide whether or not to invite me to a day long oral interview to be held in either D.C. or Atlanta beginning in November. If I actually get invited (a definite IF) then I'll have to pass the Oral Examination - which apparently has a likelihood of 2/5ths. (Yep that does mean that only 2 out of the 5 people who passed the written exam and managed to get invited to an interview actually pass that interview). After that I still have to pass a detailed background check and get medical clearances as well. All in all its supposed to be a 6 month to 2 year process IF all goes well. So we'll see. I last night sent in my answers to the Personal Narratives to the QEP panel so the dice is officially rolled on the latest section. I was confident at the time but have spent the past 10 hrs torturing myself over how it could have been better. Nonetheless can't rewind now, so will just have to cross my fingers and hope. So caution and excitement In terms of outside of work life, things are going well. I've a group of girl friends here I like, and I keep trying to do entertaining things on the side, like Irish Dancing, riding my motorcycle, and joining a writers group. I recently went on a trip to a nearby Green Tea Plantation and this weekend I'm considering going to a Fireworks Festival. Next week of course will be the big trip to visit Kate in Beijing! I'm really looking forward to it, the chance to get away, see Kate, see the Great Wall, and to see Tianammen Square and the Forbidden Palace in the daylight. All in all Korea is great. I'll officially be finished here November 28th and maybe out of the country on the 30th. Still hoping to take a train across Asia so I likely won't be back till the middle of December, but all of that is subject to change. I look forward to getting a chance to see Pat and my folks in September, but it all just depends. Was really happy to get a chance to see everyone back in June, though the circumstances were a goodbye to my grandmother. Its true though completely that family helps put everything in perspective, and it heals my heart and head sometimes to be around them. In anycase until I see you all again, best wishes. I love you all!

So during a very good conversation just recently I learned a new meaning for an old word. The word is crisis. In Chinese everything is made up of characters and the word for crisis in Chinese is made up of the characters for "challenge" and "opportunity". How great is that! To think of a crisis not as a stopping point of awfulness, but a challenge and an opportunity for something better. This past week, while not a crisis, definitely falls under the catagory of a "bad week". I like to think perhaps that even something like a "bad week" could be made up of those characters as well. And in that sense it wasn't at all a "bad week", but a really good one. Instead of just hanging out with the normal crowd, I hung out with a few people I haven't talked to in a while. I signed up for the foreign service test and I ordered a subscription to the "Economist" magazine so that I'll do much better at it this year. I finished some extra paperwork at school and kept doing my kickboxing, and I found that in acting positively in a bad situation, my situation ceased to be really so bad. In fact despite the original "bad" situation, I've found that its even hard to truthfully say anything, but I had a productively good week. Then today in response to an unspoken challenge, I hiked to Haeundea beach, a today - over the mountain. It's about a 10 mile hike-ish, but I think I went the long way and it took me about 12 miles. Or a good 5 and a half hours of walking- however that adds up. However I have to say that it felt pretty damn exhilerating to finally reach what I set out for, and really it wasn't so hard. All I had to do was just keep walking until I got there. Plus bragging rights are nice. In general Korea's been fairly lively as of late. In the past month I've gone to a wedding - which btw: aren't so different from America - seen a nearby historical city, and gone to a lot of different historical sites. Korea's a beautiful country and its really great to be getting this chance to see it. I still have my future plans for the Transsiberian Railway which is fairly certain, and lately I have visions of myself on a scooter in Delhi, going to school there. That part however is way changeable. Kate will be coming to Beijing in July so chances are great that I'll go to visit her for my summer vacation. Any other relatives (Pat and Josh&co.) who will be in Asia at this time should think about coming - it could be great!Love ya all and wish you well!

So the past month has been a real transitional period for me. In the space of 4 weeks 2 of my best girl friends have left and they have been really hard to replace. In the next week 1 more of my good friends is going and she will be equally so as we have become the most close as her time is coming to an end. Its been a challenging month to say the least - especially since this all comes on the tails of other challenges with work, graduation and new people joining the staff. Its made me come to realize a few things 1) As one always knows, "life's about changing". Its funny how some truisms never get old. One of the beautiful things about working overseas is getting to know people from everywhere. I do believe I now have friends on every continent that people live on, as well as one who's been twice to Antarctica. One thing I don't have though is the kind of stories about old friends from childhood who've known each other their whole lives. People come and go alot abroad. Everyone's on a different part of the cycle, some on shorter wheels which revolve through it quicker, some on longer ones who'll outlast you, and some people have finally found what they're looking for and are hopping off the wheel alltogether. The trouble is, for me at least, the wheel is what I'm looking for. I've found the ride I enjoy and I've become one of those who doesn't so much go job hunting but, as my friend Becca calls it, "country shopping". Its the change I like, the newness and adventure. However it can be a very lonely ride sometimes, especially when your constantly meeting and losing people you've come to care about. I'm not sure there's any career path I could choose that would eject me from the "wheel" that we all have to ride which brings change into and out of our lives, but I know there's certainly some career paths that could make it go slower. I've decided to have an adventure with my life, but its no use not admitting that the adventure can become quite lonely. Sometimes, especially at these kind of times, those other career paths look very appealing. 2) Then its the nature of being together and alone that I've also come to think about. I've had friends before, who hang out all the time, and girl friends who never seem to be without a guy. They cycle from one boyfriend to the next with impressive ease, and my friends like this also seem to always be going out, cause they can't spend one night quietly. I think its fair in such situations to accuse such people of being "afraid to be alone". Its fair to say they are afraid to see what its like to just have their own thoughts for company. I however, who've spent most of my college life buried in my books trying to stay afloat, and yrs of my post college life abroad in rural African villages have to some degree conquered this fear without realizing it. I'm not afraid to be alone, I've come to relish it. I'm one of those who needs her space or she'll go crazy. On the other hand, spending so much of my post high school life devoted to one cause or the other (passing classes or helping in the village) I've come to realize I suffer from the opposite problem, fear of being with people. Also the above mentioned living abroad situation doesn't help it much. Its dangerous you see. You pride yourself on how well you handle being alone and before long you don't realize how much you come to rely on it. Instead of being single because you choose to be and enjoy the freedom, you become single because you have no idea how to connect, or you've given up on it. Not that one should just throw oneself at the nearest cute boy/girl they see. Thats the thing of course, with involving other people in your life, it becomes their decision too, what they want as well, and sometimes what you and they both want will never be the same. However balance seems to be the key to life thus far as I've experienced it, and while I like to think that I'm not too far gone one way or the other, I've definitely fallen off to one side. So this is me putting myself back in the game with regards to friends and dating. This is me accepting the next chance to hang out and doing it till 2 oclock in the morning, even though the friendships and fun I might have could possibly not last. This is me saying yes to the next handsome guy who asks me out. This is me taking a real swing at the next ball that comes my way, daring to hope. I hope that we all can have the courage to keep swinging.

So theres been a huge shakeup at the school I'm working at recently and I admit myself to being kind of shook up about it. A good friend of mine here will likely be no longer working here as she was, and the school landscape will no doubt look quite the starker for it. We stayed up last night for some time discussing it and it makes me realize how much you learn as years pass, and how much you don't. After all, I'll soon be 27 years old. I am already in Korean Years. Young and Old are all fairly relative but its safe to say I have some experience in life. I've lived overseas continuously for some time now - counting my PC experience, so I've seen a number of people come and go from the ex-pat life. As well I've seen a number of people come and go from different things in general. I've discussed with many different friends over the years courses of action for myself and them, and reasons for those courses. So when you have the same discussion again, parts of it can feel surprisingly familiar, while other parts surprisingly unknown. Sometimes as I get older I like to think I get more understanding of the world, more intuitive about its true nature, and other times all I can think about is how the vast majority of it is just so unknowable. And these are just the worlds of human experience. Think about the world of physics, of math, and economics. The universe of this world is just so incredible. Last blog I talked about all those purposes wandering around the world. Every person - its what they are - an idea, an intention, a purpose, a mind and heart, encased in flesh. All those trillion different experiences and lessons that make up each person's life, and all the billions that have come and gone before me and will do so after me, its safe to say the only thing I really do learn over the years is about me. Or rather me, and a tiny fraction of a portion of that which is out there. And maybe, I think that could be the smartest way to be, to know that you don't know - to always be trying to learn - to never actually think "I have it all figured out" because thats when you really do know nothing. On a completely different note: Taipei was awesome - the best kind of vacation. I came back having seen many sites, feeling ready to teach again. How could anyone ask for more?

Things that I find incredible are airports – such a collection of people traveling, and to think there’s the same things all over the world! How incredible! Everyone with their own issues, their own worries, their own thoughts. Everyone traveling for their own purposes; to visit, to travel, to work, to move, to be healed, to die, to live. I’m sitting in the airport now in Seoul Incheon, seeing the couple across from me, the man comforting the tearful woman, wondering where they’re going and why she’s crying. I’m here to visit a cousin, maybe she’s traveling to bury one. Then I see the older white man walking with the younger Asian one, what are they doing? Is he a father, friend, a coworker or perhaps a chance acquaintance? Lord knows I’ve made enough of them traveling. Traveling is where we of the western and separatist cultures like Korea put aside our fears of everyone who isn’t us. Where we trust to instinct and smile and make a kind comment to someone who isn’t us, striking up a random conversation about shared misery on the road. Why is it only when we are traveling especially that we give ourselves these freedoms? East Africa does it as a fact of everyday life – why do we only allow ourselves this beauty on certain occasions? Why are we so afraid of everyone else when those who live in the poorest countries with the most to lose fear each other so little? I have to say, I think that’s partly why I love being an expat – living abroad. When I’m living overseas it’s a little like being constantly traveling, When I’m here, or anywhere else but home, I’m free to talk to people more than is normally considered prudent or socially acceptable by whatever invisible people make up those rules that we all somehow learn without trying. Especially when I meet another English speaking westerner, its like we’re both traveling, we unite and help each other out immediately in a way that two English speaking people in the U.S. wouldn’t think about. Also, to a large degree, normal people wherever I am feel freer to talk to me. I mean I scare people, but also I make it freer for them too. They get to break their own cultural rules just a little because after all, “its ownly her “. I’m outside the culture so they aren’t really afraid of my judgement. Thus because I don’t really matter they talk to me, and smile at me just a little more – I get frowns too– but I almost always get reactions. As well because, in that same way, I’m not afraid of their cultural judgement I feel freer to talk to them. Since I take it as a rule of thumb that “always talk to strangers” is the proper way to live life, living abroad will likely always be enticing. The other magic of airports for me is that they allow the scope of life to really be visible. Again I wonder what is the magic of airports that this happens here for me more than anywhere else? Perhaps its having so many people gathered together – but then again, I did once play for 110,000 people every Saturday and this wasn’t what I constantly marveled at during those periods. I think its really so many people gathered together for SO many different reasons. So many people are passing by just now as I survey them. It really is amazing, thinking of how in the time I spend at the airport – even when traveling standbye – I see only a fraction of the number of people who actually come through them. Then combine that too how I know the vast majority of people don’t ever come to airports - all those numerous vast centers of travel the dot the world. Thus the enormous amount of different purposes I see wandering the airport are minuscule in number compared to the enormous amount of purposes that wander the world. Its staggering when you really truly contemplate it. And so I still sit in an airport –Seoul Incheon – about to travel to two other such gigantic places – Beijing and Taipei airport- before I actually exit again into the real world. It’s a good 3 days before New Years and its my winter break from school. It’ll be the longest I haven’t taught since I’ve been here and I’m excited for multiple lunch conversations that don’t involve the best color of power ranger, anticipating 5 days worth of not having to care about whether or not someone got the blue scissors instead of the pink ones they wanted or if anyone cut in line or if the proper "I'm sorry's" were said, and the proper "That's ok" were in response. I like school a lot and I love my kids but I’m gonna love the break too. Can’t wait to meet Jessica and see Josh in Taipei. Happy New Years everyone!

So I don't know whether or not its because I spent Christmas here, or because of the nature of my Christmas, or because I've just now realized it, but the fact is I'm finally scarred with Korea. I'm finally scarred in the way that I was with Tanzania and Zanzibar. I'll come back looking for Asians everywhere and being continuously surprised to be surrounded by so many white people...to look so normal, so to speak. I'll go to a dance club and be surprised by all the white people dancing there.It'll just be strange, but in all the ways it should be strange, because I would hate to live somewhere and not have it leave a permanent imprint on my life. In fact the ease that I use the word "white people" probably signals the shift too, because its such a hard word to use in the U.S. Here it just slips off the tongue when I describe myself. I know really that anthropologically there really is no such thing as race, or rather no scientific basis for it. However socially its very easy to recognize it as part of your makeup when you are the racial minority in any long term sense of the world. So it was a great Christmas. I didn't get a chance to talk to Jake or Pat - love you guys Merry Christmas! - However I did spend a nice Christmas buffet here with friends, and then was out all night dancing at a night club. Rattanaphone and I stayed out till about 5am in the morning. Today I've pretty much crashed all day recovering from the aftereffects of way too much food and drink and long days of not doing the same. Sometimes doing nothing really is "everything I ever imagined it could be". I got a few surprise Christmas gifts and Christmas cards from those I care about, and I gave one or two myself. Tomorrow I'll do the packing and the lesson plan writing and see Bemosa temple finally I think. Then one more days worth of work and Tuesday waay to early I'm off to see Josh for New Years. As always not being able to see family - especially during this time of year - is one of the hardest parts about life abroad, but I'm happy. I know that even though everyone is far away, I love them and they love me, and really, it makes all the difference in the world. Life is good. Congratulations to all the newly engaged couples out there -holla Ben and Cal! Love you all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!

So learning the language this time around is a heck of a lot harder. The value of a host family is so totally underrated. Annoying as it was, and ever so tiring, it was also so completely useful. As well my surroundings, working in an area where almost no-one spoke English. While making my working situation difficult, because it spoke to the level of education in the community, it also very much improved my language skills. But I'm proud to say that I've made a little progress, and with the help of some sticky notes, I hope to make more. Learning languages is really important to me. I'd like to be able to get around in this world, in the majority of places, and I'll need more than English to do so. I'd dearly like to pick up Arabic and Spanish as well - Spanish because it'll be my native countries second language soon enough, and Arabic, because its in my future. Its really become my prerequisite for grad school, finding a school with a good language program, as well as a good field of study. After all if I'm going to spend the money and the time to get the next degree, I want another language as well. Or else I could always just go ahead and continue as I am now. I like languages so much because its really a gateway into how another culture thinks. I mean knowing the Inuit have 300 some different words for snow, or that the word for like and love is the same in Swahili - these are the kind of things that open up worlds of understanding in the way another person thinks that you wouldn't otherwise get. Also personally as an English teacher, its very helpful to me in understanding the pitfalls my students are going through when they try to learn my language. For example my girl's always say "Teacher don't see", when they mean "teacher don't look" because in Korean, look and see mean the same thing. As well their difficulty with tenses and singular vs plural is very much related to the fact that Korean only has 3 tenses (past, present, and future) and doesn't distinguish between singular or plural ever. For myself, I read alot into how contextual the Korean language is. After all if their language is almost never explicit and almost always takes its meaning from the context of the situation, how different from that can their culture truly be? As well, I find that a people's reaction to my fumbling through their language is telling. When I was fumbling through some Amharic in Ethiopia, the reaction was almost universally more welcoming. They were more happy to help me, and more interested to know me. When fumbling through some Arabic in Egypt it was almost exactly the opposite - more like "if you can't speak Arabic properly, please don't use it at all". While one can't at first glance, know all the meanings behind each reaction - they are still things you wouldn't have known about unless you knew a little of the language. (Fortunately the reaction in Korea is very much like the reaction in Ethiopia - joy that I take the time to learn). Maybe the most fun reason though, is because the rest of the world almost never expects it. I guess, I take some extreme joy in presenting people with things that they don't expect. So I'm learning Korean, flashcards and all. Its progressing slower than Swahili, but I'll be taking classes for much longer, so I hope that'll help it. In the end, here's hoping, I'll be able to come back saying I accomplished this, and another life goal will be checked off the list.

So I've been musing on fashion lately. Ironically one of the tough things for me here, is that I pretty much don't like the fashion here. There I said it in plain words. I've been struggling to admit it outloud ironically. As if saying I don't like their fashion is somehow incredibly culturally insensitive and not just a statement of my own personal fashion sense. Its very 80's here, with huge sweaters and - to my taste - tacky shirts galore. This is a land of tight ill-fitting jeans, high heels and just all around fashionistas. I'm learning to embrace a little - the high heels they sport here are sometimes just classy, and the tights and skirt has kind of a rocker appeal - but its all so not me its kind of humorous. To start its in general not at all a style designed to physically flatter a curvy shape - and despite losing 10 pounds since I arrived I am decidedly curvier than most Asian women. Unlike my stay in Tanzania where my body type was similar to most women there, I am at the very end of the norm here. I kid you not even an average size 8 in the U.S. - which isn't quite as average as it used to be - is a large/extra large here depending on the store you shop. Size 12 is completelyy unbuyable and where I sit at a size 10 its a hit or miss. So in general the style doesn't flatter, and as well, I have trouble finding clothes that fit - even unflatteringly. But the unflattering-ness wouldn't be so bad if it felt like me, but as I said, this is so not my style. I have learned to embrace color, and right now outfits here are all about the browns, blacks and grays. I love something that flows, is graceful and free looking, and here the style is all about architecture. See you might not realize it, but I, like most Americans, without being ever overtly told in most cases, view my attire as an expression of myself. When I find myself unable to dress in anything that expresses the "me" I feel inside, it feels as if I'm being shushed. I've lived long enough to realize the clothes I'll throw out in a year because they aren't pretty anymore, or they're just too much effort, and I just don't like feeling like I'm forced to buy something like that lest I go around naked. ( Unlike Tanzania, its not cool if I wear the same things twice to work). I know very well that the correct attitude is that "I'm still me, just in Korean style clothes", and my brain accepts and sits well with that logic. But the illogical being which is me feels as if I'm wearing a costume, and wonders why no-one laughs at the "Halloween" ness of the situation. I'm a hippy lost in an episode of "Sex and the City", and as much as I'll admire project Runway designs, that in no manner means I want to wear them. Nelson Mandela once made a quote about how "as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people freedom to do the same".Basically what I'm saying is that in a big, very obvious way, I don't fit in here. The physicality of the obvious, forces me to admit the ways i don't fit in less obviously. Like not enjoying dancing to techno or going out all the time. I'm really good at getting along with different people, but fitting in, well I'm proud to know that I can admit the obvious without dismay. I got tired of trying last Friday, and so I stopped, and it was, suprisingly, wonderfully, ok. It makes you wonder too - why do we all try so hard? What is so terrifying about not fitting in? Am I afraid of my own darkness, or is it as Mandela once said, and I'm afraid of my own magnificence? Is it really harking back to the age old instinct of "stick with the pack or die from the saber tooth tigers?" Do I really need "my pack" to love me, or even another person, if I can love myself? Why am I 26 years old and still asking myself these kinds of questions? Life is one great big process I know, one long road to discovery, and I guess the people I really worry about are the ones who've stepped off the road because they got it all figured out. One just internalizes these truths a little at a time, until they enter your deepest self, and you believe them through and through because you know. So last Friday I internalized the "be who you are" into a little deeper part of myself than it ever had been before - or else I relearned it, who the heck truly knows. And I thought I'd write about it, because it feels like all my blog posts are a little dull and repetitive till now. I guess I'll say it outloud because all the cliches really are true.Be yourself, because when you are, it DOES give other people implicit permission to act the same. Its funny when you try so hard to fit into something you always have fit into. Loads of people care for the crazy me I've always been afraid to admit existed. I still am me, I still have my friendships and family and thats so totally great with me. Maybe its one of those miracles of life but its amazing all the same.So I'll close with this Dr. Suess quote"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".

So every month we have a birthday party at the school for all the kids who's birthdays are in that month. During the party, one teacher hosts, each class preforms a song, and then all the classes get up one at a time to give presents to the birthday kid(s). Then everyone sings happy birthday together. This month Lisa -the new teacher- was the host. As well I managed to videotape the Athletic class preforming their song, as well as everyone singing Happy Birthday to the Birthday girl. Athletic class is the youngest and while you can't hear the song well I hope you can tell how adorable the kids are. The area we are sitting is our main common room in the school. Its not decorated like this normal, but this is a birthday day. Without further ado...and

This is just a Happy Thanksgiving video me and my friends made for all those we love back home!

And just so you all know what its like at a Norebong, I'll post these shots. After having our welcoming dinner we went out to a Norebong to sing, which is like a Korean karaoke place and I got a few shots of it. This is a favorite past time for many Koreans. You essentially rent out a room just for yourself and your good friends.These rooms weren't nearly as nice and fancy as some and it still had a disco bill and fancy echoing. This is Filip our Welsh guy singing Dancing Queen. Good times.And just to prove how deadly serious I am, this is our boss singing. A very straight laced lady, belting out music with her underlings at a Karaoke place. Nice eh? I'm telling you that microphone's echo was so severe that not even Kate or Will would have sounded good though so cut the singers a little slack on their sound.

Meat the Yongkung temple. Its sideways but this is the main building. Its beautiful.

A golden buddha. No doubt you oculd really rub his belly for good luck.

Me and Jaime at the entrance to go downstairs to the temple. She wanted to be in almost every picture and I had a hard time denying her she was so cute.

The school at an SLP dinner welcoming me and a few other new teachers

Its funny how misery gets one talking more than happiness does sometimes. Or possibly at least for me. All's so well here in Korea that I've stopped writing about my life because I'm just happy to be enjoying it. Like when I forgot to take too many pictures at a church outing perhaps because I was so busy being happy where I was. So to sum up a month has passed since my last post and I feel like I'll have to update with pictures. I went to a really neat temple which many of you may have seen from my facebook pictures. Its called Yongkung sa and it was beautiful, a famous Buddhist temple by the sea. Next week on Sunday I have plans to go to Beomosa temple, a beautiful Buddhist temple in the Mountains. I shall thoroughly enjoy learning more about Buddhism. Teaching has continued to be something I'm really enjoying...or perhaps its just this job, its hard to say what exactly goes into making you like your work. I've started taking Korean classes and my teacher is great and my class members I really like. I can now read the alphabet and I can conjugate verbs, I just need practice and to really work on my vocab. I've made some more friends and diversified my relationships, which I'm really happy about. We had another field trip on Friday and it was great again. I went dancing last night to a club that actually had decent music. I must say one of the few downsides of Korea is that all the clubs I've been to thus far...and there hasn't actually been that many but some, well the music isn't very good. I'm just not a techno person. I can't jump to the same beat for 6 hrs straight, its just...boring. But this club was better and they had a wild cross dressing lady to boot. I found some maps for my walls so my room is really starting to feel like me now, which is great. Also I've officially bought tickets to see Josh over New Years, which is also great. Also I've finally started to let go alittle. I think the biggest challenge of being overseas here in a new place is also what has been my greatest asset. You see my whole 2 and some years in Tanzania was such a life changing experience for me that when ever I first went out on the town here I was haunted by ghosts of experiences pasts, of all the sometimes bad, yet always marvelous times I had overseas in another, much warmer island. So I felt like by having too much of a good time here, I was betraying that experience somehow. I mean I'm 100% behind the fact that my job here kicks the behind of the other teaching gig I had - but to say that Korea's night life can be just as fun, well that ventures into dangerous territory. It was a fork in the road, a pivot point upon which my life changed directions. Everything surrounding my teaching gig on Zbar is like first love. It cuts the deepest, runs the hardest and thats how it should be and is. So I was afraid of having fun here, like it'll somehow make me forget there. But like I've said, I've started to move forward again. I went out last night dancing and had a great time and didn't reminisce once about Zbar. I'm like that girl who recognizes that it'll never be that first guy I loved, but that this new guy can be perfectly beautiful in his own right. This new country isn't Zbar and it won't ever be, but Korea will be perfectly beautiful in its own right and deserves not to be to be compared constantly -sometimes winning and sometimes losing the comparison appreciated for itself, for no other reason, than it IS too. It exists, has a culture a people and a long history. This is a really big step forward for me and I'm glad I can finally say I'm really starting to do it. So without further ado, please enjoy the pictures and the video.

So everything is humming along smoothly here and its kind of hard to not notice how nicely the days pass here. Its really rather relaxing actually - I'm almost to the point where I'll need to do something in the evenings to spice things up a bit, which coincides nicely with the "Korean" lessons I'll soon be taking. I've just been saving money trying to keep everything paid, but by the next paycheck I should have enough to do a few things I've been planning to do for a bit. Keeping with the theme of exploring the city, Recently I went to the Gwangalli fireworks show. It was spectactular. Gwangalli is a section of the city wherein there is this really beautiful bridge over the sea and a nice beach that looks out on it all. This is the 4th annual fireworks show as far as I know and really, they outdid themselves. Its by far the best session I've ever been too - it reminded me most of all of the waterworks show in front of the Belagio in Vegas. The choreographed moving water and song, thats exactly what it was like, except for instead of water there were fireworks. There was literally a fireworks waterfall off the bridge and in the air the exploding was choreographed to different music. There were even fireworks birds which were just incredible. It really is one of those things where the pictures don't do them justice. A nice thing to know is how many of those events/things/places exist in the world - places where the pictures don't do them justice. So I'm uploading a video -somehow videos always seem more honest.Also this last Friday was my first field trip with the school and as such I snapped a few pics of the kids so all can see. I posted them on facebook but for those not on it - here we are

We went to a horse place - actually a horse race stadium, but of course we skipped the gambling part. All the kids got the chance to sit on a horse and get ridden around in a circle - and the really little kids got to pet a pony (Mom it was a really pretty pony, you'd have enjoyed it). It was about an hour by bus to get there and then an hour back, while there we also had lunch and the kids went on the slides, all in all a great time. This week we'll have a Halloween Party and yours truly has somehow become the defacto pinata builder. Its fun.

I continue to learn more about teaching, really its an ever learning process. I have this one class that mostly does exactly as I tell them, and this other class who mostly takes 10 minutes to do everything I tell them - so I had been enjoying the first class while always being regularly frustrated with the second. So I'm trying to change my approach - let go a little and embrace more the extra chaos of the second class - maybe as not necessarily a bad thing, but just how they operate. And in letting go a little, I'm having much more success getting things done. So somehow letting go has created more natural order. Its wierd, but still very much a work in progress. Anyway this is a few pictures of the kids - I hope you guys enjoy and by picture can somehow see why I like them so much. And they come up at the top of the page for whatever reason. In anycase those are the kids and they are pretty darn cute! Hope all is well in the other hemisphere. Best wishes

So this week has really been a week where I discover the subway. I've now traveled to the Seomyeon and the Haeundea areas of Busan. Both are big important business areas of the city, Seomyeon being the center of the city and Haeundea being a beach area. They are both really amazing and interesting places to osee, and in the process of visiting those areas throughout this week I declare myself as rather understanding the subway. It's a real valuable thing to figure out and I'm pretty thrilled. In honor I'm posting a video of Haeundea and a random music man in Haeundea. This first one is the video of Haeundea. Unfortunately I'm not technically adept enough tosave this as right side up, but it gives one an idea anyway. This next video is one of a random music player at the beach - the singer and his guitar player. Just goes to show that no matter where you go some things never change - like crazy entertainment along side big beaches - and struggling musicians. If you are on facebook you might also get a chance to see some random subway pictures. On a cultural note -one thing I have noticed - S.Korea's differentness from the U.S. is alot more under the surface as compared to Zanzibar. There the surface differences were so overwhelming you sometimes missed the under the surface similarities. Here the surface similarities are so overwhelming you sometimes miss the under the surface differences. I don't claim to be any sort of expert, having only been here for 3 weeks, but my eyes are definitely opening to it a little more. I still think that this is a heck of a lot easier cultural jump than from U.S. to Zanzibar, and yet, I do think there is a jump. But yea, life is good! I'm really enjoying Korea thus far - welcome to anyone who wants to come! I'd love to introduce you.

I've relearned a life lesson which has never been more clear to me than these past few weeks. I never ever want to be richer than everyone else. I 100% don't want to win the lottery. I fiercly want to be of independent means and never again need to rely on someone else for money, but I don't want to be rich, its a burden I will do my best to avoid. Why the revelation from someone who is counting down the days to her paycheck? Well they say that the Peacecorps is "the hardest job you'll ever love" and that is 100% true. Partly because its not really a job, its a mission - not a religious one, but a life one. When you're in the Peace Corps you don't ever get "off" work. There's always something more you could be doing in your day, someone more you can help. Some school project to work on or some kid to help tutor. Another part of how even in your "off time" it invades your life, is that when living in the village you are always...or almost always the richest person around. Of all the aid organizations out there, PC pays by far the least, but you are still rich. From bargaining for food or goods~you want to get a good deal but they could certainly use the good fortune of you paying alittle extra, to having people visit you and remark at all your nice things, to having people ask you for money, to hearing all the unasked but still felt requests for money, to you yourself wondering why you aren't trying harder or doing more when you are so much more blessed monetarily. I grant that I would dislike abject poverty even more than being the richest person around, but I do detest being the richest person around alot. Some people dealt with it alot better than I, but for me it was - hard. Anyway, the fact is that up to this point, I've never traveled overseas to a place where my white skin didn't instantly proclaim me as "rich". But now I live alone overseas and I am surprisingly, blessedly...normal. Its just soooooo much easier! My free time is my free time, I'm not trying to save anyone after hours. I'm just a focusing on being a good English teacher. Its really really nice. That and the fact that I have very personal knowledge of how little one needs to be content has really convinced me that its all just way to much hassle. Being just wealthy enough to continue to follow your dreams, while paying down your debt is all you really need.

So I'm learning alot lately. These past few weeks I've been really happy though, even when I say or do stupid things its all kinda cool. I'm blessed to be working with really good people. They've been more than welcoming and helpful as I try to learn the ropes and get the hang of all of this. The kids at my school are great too. Its an a hagwon~private school in Korean~ and more specifically an English immersion school, which means inside the doors we speak only English. Of course, the kids are anywhere from 3-7 yrs old so alittle Korean sometimes gets spoken to help explain things (especially for the youngest ones) but remarkably about 90 - 95% of the time in English only, even in the halls. The Korean teachers at the school are great English speakers and in the kindergarten grades the three foreign teachers are me, a girl from Alaska, and a guy from Wales. We usually have about 7 kids per class - except for Afternoon Activities time when classes work together for different things. My day of teaching lasts till 9:30 - 5:30 though the preparing ~especially now~ is going to take longer. But thats ok!I'll get the hang of it. Some things I know now about Korean culture include the fact that they are very hard workers, dedicated to education and lots of it from a very young age. It is not at all surprising that in 40 yrs South Korea has moved from a 3rd world economy to a 1st world one. The kids start school at like 3 or 4 "American years" ~I'll explain what Korean years are in a minute~ and they usually from a young age have alot of extra after school Activities - like when they get out of public school they often go to night classes for English or other things, often up to 9 at night. Crazy eh? Also, Koreans count age from the when you were conceived, not born...so a 7 year old kid in Korea is often 6 yrs old in Western terms. Also they don't have separate birthdays, they all advance a year in age when the Korean New Year roles around. so a 7 year old kid hear, actually could be 5 years old American too. When addressing letters in Korea one starts from the most general thing and then goes specific, unlike starting specific and then moving to general (like my address in US written Korean style would be Sarah Springsteen, USA, Michigan, St. Ignace, 193 Portage Street) As well Koreans do not go "dutch" so to speak. When you are a guest, you are 100% the guest, not paying for anything. (Not totally unlike Tanzanians view of the situation). They just expect that you will return the favor in like kind another day. They LOVE Karaoke. Not Karaoke bars, but Karaoke in its unadultered, not drunken, but singing soberly the best you can glory! I think it might be an Asian thing. Josh told me it was big in Taiwan took, and Eriko mentioned it being big in Japan as well. I'm not kidding, there's a booming business in renting out different themed suites to people who want to go singing. You go into the building and they show you around their different rooms and ask you which one you'd like - be it the "disco" room, or the "underwater" room, or the "modern" room or the "pretty pretty princess" room. Whichever. I love it when people geek out about something and are unashamed of it! Its so thoroughly cool. Also there are phone booths everywhere around here despite the fact that almost everyone has a telephone! I'm not kidding real honest to God kinda phone booths where Clark Kent can change into Superman. Its cool. Anyway, thats just some random things I've learned about Korea. Happy Chusak too everyone! It's the festival to honor our ancestors this weekend. Sort of a Thanksgiving equivalent. So yea, 3 day weekend. Pretty cool.

So just a video of the Busan area on a rainy Sunday Morning. This is the University area near to my house. Its like a mixture of the liveliness of African markets with the modern day inside store thing. Its a wonderful place for people watching. Anyway, so far so good here. I don't have a video of the school, but its a little hard to do while I'm still trying to get everything straight, which day for weekly lesson plans and which papers to copy and when the speaking tests and progress reports are do etc. I really like it there though so far - I knew the school would be better than most just based on the interview, but its really delightful to discover that what I at first considered a job to be done, is well on its way to becoming something I thoroughly enjoy. Also after all my screwups these past 3 years with teaching, its rather fascinating to realize that along the way I seem to have learned something after all, and I might just be good at it given the proper circumstances. So all in all, despite a really tight budget and struggling to stay afloat with all the new things, I'm really just skipping with happiness underneath. Also this highspeed connection for the first time ever doesn't hurt anything. The apartment is small but really might be perfect when I get the right things for it - which will come in time. Life is good! The kids though at my school, really really are kind of great! Just so you guys know. I'll have about 7 kids in a class, except for the one class where they are combined with another smaller class for about 12. They are really young...maybe 4-5 by U.S. age standards so its a challenge to keep them still but they are SOOOO cute. SO cute. Its fun to hear them learn!

Just some images of the architecture in the area I live. The one above is a golfing cage set straight in the middle of the city. When I first walked by the netting with the tall steel borders I thought it was under construction - but no. It's a golfing cage for the city golfers who want to practice there swing, and the netting catches all balls - so it won't hit the many buildings and sky scrapers nearby. See South Korea, as I can plainly see is a country that doesn't sprawl outwards, like in the U.S., but builds up. Everything is very compactly put together and I have yet to see any evidence of suburbs, instead the whole population in the cities live in apartments (though granted my experience is extremely limited thus far). Anyway as they say, they have many people and a small land mass area. It makes sense

This is a rather beautiful landscape from the top floor of the parking garage at the local hospital. Aparently hiking and climbing are passions of many Koreans...as is - fun fact- baseball. Koreans love climbing and baseball, and I gather, they are rather good at both. In anycase with landscape like this its not hard to imagine why many people take up hiking.

Just I thought a fun picture of the grocery store. Thats my cart I'm holding, the grocery store is on the bottom floor of the GS Mart, sort of a Walmart of Korea, as I'm finding out. Anyway all the shopping carts have little "grippies" on the bottom which stick tight when you are riding one of these escalator/moving walkway "thingies" up or downstairs.

Just a street view of the intersection that you come too when walking away from my school

And this is a view of the street my school is on. Pretty neat eh? I'm definately smack dab in the middle of a city of 3.5 million people. It's a new experience and its really working thus far.

Hey all, can't write too much sorry, still figuring a few things out and don't want to update people of one thing if things change, but I just thought I'd post some pictures and video (if it works) of my apartment thus far. Also if I can make it work, some pictures of the area I'm living. This video is a video of my apartment on the first night I arrived. It's about 3 rooms smaller than my apartment overseas - but also way better equipped. It's a 2 room apartment, one for bathroom, which has washer, sink, toilet and shower all together. The other room encompasses the bed, tv, and kitchen area. Since I made this video I've grown more and more attached to my tiny apartment- even my frilly pink comforter - it's not at all my style, but its very warm and well, comfortable. Plus as I mentioned, its pretty cool of the school to give it to me. Enjoy

17) Tropical Beaches and the winding streets of Stonetown - yep. The scenery here is be-AUtiful! The beaches are postcard perfect and stonetown is totally exotic. I feel interesting just knowing how to get around here. I'll miss it

18)Juice - tamarind, mango,passion, sugarcane, etc. etc. It's awesome awesome awesome. Fresh juice all the time, dirt cheap. Infact in Swahili my school Mkwajuni is "The Place of the Tamarind trees". Heaven~

And I'm leaving tomorrow! And I'm an RPCV now. A Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. Boo-ya! I'll see you fools in a few weeks!

12) The chickens! - I gotta say it'll be wierd to be walking everywhere, to school, around the house etc, without tripping over chickens. Chickens are everywhere here, mainland, zanzibar, school town, village whatever. A number of times I've had to kick a stray goat or chicken out of my classroom when they've wandered in while I was teaching...so I guess goats and cows get an honorable mention inthis one too. Although to be fair chickens still win out. As eaters of gardens they aren't often a favorite of local volunteers however when no more rooster crows wake me up in the morning you know I'll be feeling like somethin is missing

13) Monkeys! - all the wild monkeys here I will miss you, with bushbaby's gettin an honorable mention. Where would the night be without your hooting my funny looking friends! Monkeys are the local deer here, everyone gets annoyed cause they eat food, cause havoc with crops and carry off bits and pieces every now and then but for me the novelty never wore off. First visit to Pemba the locals tried to sell me a baby monkey in diapers and I gotta say...I was tempted. If but for the Peace Corps rule prohibiting us to own primates...who knows Shujaa you mighta had company!

14)Cheap movies and tv shows - yup the chinese have cornered the market on ripping dvds and tv shows onto video and for a scant 2-5 dollars you too can have a 24 pack of new movies- some good -My friend got "The Dark Knight" before it had left the theatre - some junk like Steven Seigal or Jean Claude van damn movies. Myself I've watched 5 seasons of prison break, 4 seasons of lost and 1 season of desperate housewives and 1 season of heroes (soon 2 as I've just bought another for when I get home). Good times

15) The peace corps floating library - This is that library that all PCVS contribute too when they come. GIven as how we're mostly in the land of few book choices whenever there is a good book it almost always gets passed along, from region to region throughout the country as different volunteers burrow it. A book may travel from Moshi to Zbar all the way down to Mbeya and then back again. Its a well known fact that the actual library in Dar at the PC office that PCVs can donate too has generally nothing good in it cause if it were good, it wouldn't be in there, it would be somewhere else being read!

16) Street food - delicious! Where else to get octopus, calamari, fries and a soda for a few dollars at most. I know it chances being dirtier than the u.s. style food, but its delicious and almost free. Here's to street food

So I had a fabulous last few months (fasted for 10 days this year!! :-) ), saw Lake Nyasa, had a pig roast and Philipinio Karoke night, celebrated Eid, started school, and saw loads of friends, and I thought I'd tell you all about it but I think those'll be stories I'll be happy to share when I'm home. Instead right now I'm contemplating about how in 1 week I'll be leaving Zanzibar forever, and how in just over 1 week I'll be on a plane out of the country-though I'm stopping in Ethiopia and Egypt first before I arrive in America. And with that I'd just like to let you all know what I'll miss about this place, although really one never knows until one leaves the whole story, so maybe this list will be amended as time goes on.

I'll miss....

1) The sun! Yea its hot as *&$# but its also the land of eternal summer where I can never wear a coat, ALL YEAR LONG. I know that in the middle of a michigan winter I"ll be lamenting this.

2) The food. The ice cold fresh juice-tamarind, passion and mango as well as sugar cane, you know I love you, kachori, biriayani, pilau, rice and beans, coconuts etcetcetc. And everything fresh fresh fresh! Its more expensive for the processed.

3) My appreciation for the food. When you have to physically make almost everything you eat and a thing like icecream or chocolate is a real exception not a rule, its amazing how much more delicious things taste.

4)the style - lets face it, zanzibari women as a whole have impeccable taste. As a rule and not an exception their clothes flatter all body types as well as hair. And they are bold too, it looks like a field of flowers sometimes at a party, so many colors everywhere! These people shun brown, black, and blah colors. They celebrate flair in your color choice and classiness in your style. I LOVE shopping here.

5) the attention - this is an I'll miss and I'll look forward to not having as well. I know I'll really look forward to getting less attention in fact, but I also know that when every guy in the room isn't commenting on how amazing I look just a little part of me will be wondering "what's up?".

6)the friendliness - in my apartment bloc practically everyone is so TOGETHER! The kids run in packs..like dogs almost, except much cuter when they are between 2-6 yrs old, and mama's just stand on balconies shouting for so and so to do something. And people come in and out of my place, ALL THE TIME, and really I think they'd view it as if they somehow were being rude if you were alone for too long. And everyone will help you out. Just talk to older folk on the street and they'll loan you things and show you places and give you advice, all for free.

7) The guest culture - its huge here. Guests are so, welcome and its so difficult to live up to somehow when you are a host but its fabulous when you are a guest. Guests are respected and welcomed and people just knock on your door all the time to say hi. And when you are invited out you get treated to the 9's! The poorest of the poor families will make some effort to give you a soda, and biscuits. And everyone always has time to greet you. To give an example, in the states when you are a guest sometimes its appreciated when you offer to help out, because you are relieving them of some duties, like washing dishes etc. Here its almost an insult if you offer to help out because you are the guest and it insinuates that they are not taking care of you properly and can't handle a guest.

8) The packs of kids running around - I don't know what it is but little kids just seem so much freer here. They all run around together in little packs. Its great! And they are adorable when they aren't being whiny, and fairly respectful too. When I arrive with a heavy pack, they want to carry it for me. And every morning without fail they love to greet me as I walk outside (it's a game almost). And every day if I'd let them they'd come in to my house and play around with my stuff and just entertain me and themselves for 3 hrs.

9)The trust - people trust people ALOT more here than in the states. Its so nice to stop being afraid all the time of everybody and have a culture where some things are just taken on trust. For example on busses, when people are getting on they may have alot of packs to carry, so its totally understood and helpful for you to grab there baby for them and hold him till they are situated. Or if there are multiple kids perhaps it'd be very appreciated if you let one of them sit on your lap. I feel like people are searching every nook and cranny in the states for sexual predators etc. I mean you'd never pass your baby down the isle in the states, or ask it to sit on a strangers lap. Here you would absolutely. Also here definately people hitch rides all the time! Its expected, understood culture and people aren't always freaked again for the random chance they'll hitch with an ax-murdering serial rapist. When I say trust I don't mean for all things I just mean within certain limits there is definately an expectation of human decency from strangers that we just don't have in the states, and the fact is that expectation is almost always proved true.

10) Time - this is again something I'll not miss as well as miss. In the states people hate it when you waste their time. Here people don't view time as something to be wasted, its used to benefit people. So there's just alot more understanding and helpfulness when dealing with time and people. It makes you late all the time,but also your relationships with people never really suffer cause somehow you were too busy

11) Lack of fear - I will miss this sooooo much. I would have to say, comparatively to the states, people just are sooooo less afraid of everything, and especially considering the level of crime that supposedly should be here if you take into account the poverty, well its kind of remarkable. I don't know how or why but its just a feeling that permeates you after you are here for a while, that a stranger is probably a decent person. In the states all the time its "don't talk to strangers", "don't touch", "don't get in cars with people you don't know", "don't accept gifts from strangers", all these, don't's! All this fear. And within reason there's total legitimacy to it, but it still creates a culture of fear. You don't even realize how bad it is till its absent, till you feel free to hitch a ride when your gut tells you everything looks on the up and up, and till you are sitting with a random 6 yr old on your lap on a bus, etc. I don't mean to say I'd hitch a ride in the middle of the night in the city, or I'd leave my wallet wherever etc. common sense still applies, but not the fear. And when I meet fellow travelers, I AS A RULE try to hitch a taxi with them, or meet up with them for lunch or whatever. I introduce myself to people I've never met and ask a favor to spend the night in town at the house of a person I've only hung out with once. And ya know what, when this person isn't home, they call a friend to give me the keys to allow me to spend the night at their house. ITS SO NICE, and so warming.

And thats all I got for now cause I gotta run. MOre on this list later. Cheers to everyone and I'll see you all soon!

Just wanted to say, Happy Ramadhan to all. Its the 2nd day of ramadhan here, and all is well. And just for a little cultural update; What is Ramdhan?

Ramdhan is the 30 days where the prophet Mohommad was in the desert recieving the information in the Koran from heaven and writing it down. It is THE holy month on the muslim religious calender, and is celebrated by fasting. This entails one to neither eat, nor drink anything, from about 4 in the morning till 7 at night. (This is real serious here too, nothing can enter bodily orafices, strict muslims won't bathe or swim during this time, nor will they brush their teeth, nor will married people have sexual relations). Nothing at all enters the body during this time! Then just after evening prayer (magharibi) everyone breaks the fast with a meal called futari. Futari is a celebatory time, like christmas dinner, everyone is welcome at the table, and it sometimes happens that everynight everyone in a village may eat together, (ex. so futari would be at my house one night, and I'd cook massive amounts of food- and the next night at your house where you'd provide all the food). For my area its very common for extended familys to eat together (and friends), but not the whole village. I often get invited to dine with different neighbors, and I usually go. Its great! Afterwords people walk about and talk for a bit, then go to sleep. Everyone then wakes up real early in the morning (3 ish) and eats something , and drinks a whole lot of water and the process starts again.

I did it some last year too, though this year I'll try to go for much longer (though I suspect as I'm traveling to the mainland for a bit I won't make it the whole 30 days). The part thats suprising is that its not really the food part thats difficult, its the water. When you wake up in the morning you HAVE to drink alot of water or you'll never make it. Myself I try to drink at least a liter each morning. You feel like you are swimming but it pays off in the afternoon.

A funny thing that you wouldn't think of though is that when you do drink so much water, and then try to go back to sleep, its somehow difficult to get a good nights rest, as one has to get up frequently to pee.

But anyway. Happy Ramadhan! Love to all!

Oh-la all, sorry haven't written in a while! Just thought I'd relate some of the interesting events of the past couple weeks in order to entertain. First though, gotta say, its all true. Not a stretching of events. And I know that if I were me back in the states I would think I was pulling my leg. Not so!!.

So the Persian New Year in Makunduchi on Zanzibar is an event for all to behold. This year me and almost all of my Zanzibar compatriats decided to check it out full scale (saw it last year but missed some stuff), and especially with one of us undercover as a villager in the south, we were golden on the who what when's. This also turned out to be a great time to send off in style two great PCVs Don, and an honorary-Zanzibari at heart-Jess. Don you are no longer a part of Broke-back Pemba! And I shall miss talking sports with you and playing yahtzee and UNO! Have a great one.

Anywho after a great time at the full moon-party (yep it was a party weekend!) we trekked down south with the help of Kiparo's taxi and some killer bargaining by an unnamed accomplice. The next morning we nursed some hangovers with Chai, and then omba'd a lifti (hitched a ride) down to the coast by literally standing on the side of the road and flagging down cars. This lifti was the back of a pick-up truck. All right by me! The lifti even drove us straight to the site of the main event, the banana whipping.

Yup! Folks from all over the south had formed teams to celebrate persian new year, and in an area a field of sorts was set up, with a few teams fighting at a time while the other teams circled in running parade format chanting things like "we're gonna beat you till you look chinese". The teams on the field would go back and forth a bit, one team gaining ground, another losing it, while spectators looked on, from the outside inside and all over. Yes a huge TIA (This is Africa). Its wonderful. Of course this is not a sterile event where teams are cordoned off into an area. There are spectators getting accidently mixed up in fighting here if they aren't careful. And by fighting I mean each team wins by beating the crap out of the other team with banana stalks. No one got seriously hurt as far as I know...teams back off when its too much. But really there were like a couple thousand people there, watching and fighting, and when one team backed up cause they were losing ground spectators had to frantically run backwards or risk getting caught up. As one of my friends commented "the most dangerous thing about this whole scenario is probably the people running away from the fighting". And I have to agree, think about all the extremely crowded congested people situations you've been in and how dangerous it is for numerous people at once to begin screaming and running. Mob scenario anyone?!

But yea, so that added a whole level of excitement, but anyhow in total the whole situation was just so ridiculous and hilarious that I had a wonderful time. Me and Jess too ran the parade route with groups of ladies who followed the teams, chanting and singing. And got some hi-LAR-ious picks of certain PCVs who joined in the whipping. Jess got herself some serious supporters from the ladies who were excited to see a girl join in. Also got some good picks of people just tricked out for the fights. They were wearing all sorts of homemade gear, from football helmets to self made cone-head helmets with slits for eyes. And one great pick of a guy who came in with the trunk of a banana tree instead of just a stalk for the whipping.

Anyhow after a bit with the banana stick whipping the festivities continued to the house burning. In this part of the ceremony a house which has been recently built is lit on fire and the local wizard (witchdoctor) is within when this happens. This serves double purposes. First it tells you the quality of your wizard, second, the state of the crops. So the wizard was escorted to the house, then we ladies started running in circles chanting and the men came forward with torches and set the house on fire. The wizard made it out, no worries which means a) He was a real wizard -if he doesn't make it out it means he wasn't a real wizard so the village is better off anyway b) the crops will be well this year.

So all's well that ends well eh? Anyway afterword we went up to the fair grounds and had street food (fried food) and wandered around a bit. Played some GHEtto carnival games...and chilled on the beach a bit. An all around event.

COS conference though just finished and that was really great as well. We were put up in Arusha at the Arusha national Park in a hotel inside it. It was rather safi, but also quite cold for my liking. During the conference we learned about all the things we'll have to deal with at Close Of Service. Learning about resume's and health care plans and etc. Also picked up some knowledge about PC jobs and networking which I love. Got to talk to the second in command at the embassy about foreign service jobs, he was a former PC volunteer and they had an RPCV panel (returned peace corps volunteer panel) to help volunteers be able to talk to people who'd been through the process. Also there was a lady from the World Food Program and another lady who'd just worked for loads of different NGO's and was now running her own business in Tanzania. But the funnest part was of course, as always, seeing volunteers. It was the last time we'll be together before we leave and we had a wonderful prom-yagi where I got a fabulous dress made and for the first time ever, I was PROM QUEEN!! yay! And Jeremy, my date, was Prom King. He looks like a porn-star on his facebook photo, its a picture of his white suit. Unfortunately my camera is flipping out and I was not able to take my own picture though hopefully I'll get some from others. I'll bring the dress back for sure at least.

Anyway thats all I got for now. Hope all is well in the U.S. and I CAN"T WAIT to see you all when I get back. Current plans put me back in the U.S. hopefully at Detroit Airport on 23rd Dec. maybe can get a flight back to gaylord??? Don't know yet what people's plans are for Christmas and New Years but I hope to see everyone!!!

Love much

Sarah

Chilly weather! Its crazy but its down to 70's and sometimes 60's here and I get a little chilly sometimes. I know I know, hot and beautiful to everyone else. What can I say.

So all's well on this end of the woods. Overall. Just getting done with a meeting in Dar (peer support and diversity network) which has been alot of fun. It makes you really realize how you respond to things when you realize what are good ways to talk to people who are hurting or frustrated. Did you know "why" questions are the wrong ones to ask? Never use "why" if at all possible.

We talked about that, and open ended vs. close ended questions (used to keep a person talking instead of eliciting only a "yes" or "no" response). Also the danger of not giving advice but getting a person to think of it themselves. As well the need to be careful not to couch advice in a question. ("Did you think about calling her to talk"...etc.) Its real interesting.

But Zanzibar power crisis, still mostly continuing, though hopefully soon over I believe. Its really been an interesting month because the power has been out for most of it (except when I came to Dar). You see Zanzibar gets its power from the mainland via an undersea cable and about a month ago that cable fried where it connects to the overland cables, and screwed up a power station. So its been a month of electricity-less adventure. What has it involved? Night time lanterns and candles, day time its as usual. Except very little computer use. For water, yours truly has been a'carryin it. Yup. There's a well about 1/3 kilometer down a path where all locals and yours truly have been getting water. It has a stick across center and you throw a small bucket tied to rope down to the bottom, then pull up the bucket and empty it into your big bucket, and repeat until your big bucket is filled. And for going home, well, thats just lugging as usual. I gotta tell ya, using a well though, that can seriously build up your arms if you do it alot. Just pulling up water from the bottom! - depending on how big your container is. And also, this whole bucket on your head thing, really really smart actually. It saves a ton of effort if you can do it right~ big if on my part. BUT I finally carried it on my head without spilling it too! Wooho! Though I still had to use my hands for balance this was a significant step forward. Hopefully there'll be electricity by the time I get back though...but really not sure. Apparently stonetown has power now, but in the villages, with power out for so long, people have been vandalizing and stealing cables, so even with power restored it might not reach. And I'm a ways out of stonetown. We'll see.

Dar is good for time being and so are most volunteers I saw. Its getting crazy but in less than a month and a half I'll be headed to my close of service conference (cos conference). We feel so old! Naw. Its great. I'm ready though. In Dar I got to meet alot of the newer volunteers. The 1st year health and education and environment group. Its been really quite nice. I like to expand my circle of people. And they are all really great! I love it. Also the new trainees for health and environment have arrived, there's like 48 of them! Neat right?! They are now in training doing there level best I'm sure to be happy healthy newbies! Also fun stuff, just yest, was at the Ymca and ran into a guy who had just arrived in dar es Salaam that day and he was headed to Zanzibar to be working their for a few months . So cool right?! I love just meeting folks on the street. Anyway, (and this would be REALLY intimidating to me) he arrived alone and is staying for a few days in Dar alone! Eeek. Anyway, we totally invited him to hang out with us and he did and it was great. So yea, I'm psyched to meet new friends. (To compliment the recent one I made on the islands in town) But everyone's leaving in August! Yuck. Seriously. People come and go SO quick it seems.

On other notes I have to say, this situation in Zimbabwe to me, is....completely unbelievable. NO ONE is taking responsibility. NO one. I'm sorry but GET OVER IT to all the african leaders out there who still remember Mugabe and want to respect his glory days. HE IS A HEINOUS MURDERING RAPING POWER HUNGRY PSYCHOTIC DICTATOR. Seriously!?!?!! South African leadership is absolutely disgusting, and I'm not just talking about Thabu Mbeki. Zambia, Botswana, Namibia, Tanzania, seriously grow up. Give a shit. They have 3 MILLION percent inflation, the highest ever in the history of the world (it was the highest ever when it was 155,000% inflation and now it, 80% un-employment, and one of Mugabe's most recent moves has been to kick out the food-aid organizations and all NGO's (NGO stands for non-governmental organization which is basically what all aid groups are who aren't directly affiliated with a certain country like for example USAID). According to many aid workers who left this was because he didn't want any outside witnesses to the mutilation he's perpretating to the country-side. According to Mugabe this is because all the NGO's have been campaigning for the opposition. Broken legs/faces/bodies etc of opposition supporters. And deaths and disappearences. And arrests. Apparently much of the rural country side has torture camps where locals are "educated" on the correct way to vote. Also the UN. Not helping. And US and UK EU groups, I'm sorry I feel like we're all implicated too. Why aren't we there? Cause lets face it, it does not directly threaten us nor does it offer our capatalistic system any incentive. (no oil/gold/super wealth in the area). I'm afraid I'm really quite cynical enough to believe that after this blows over if anyone mentions it, it'll be to wonder why we weren't there earlier and how we can stop this from never stopping again, and in the meantime the next one will come up. But seriously, I think despite the cultural issues, its the African countries leaders who need to say it first. They need to. They have needed to months ago.

Anyhow enough on horrific situation in Zimbabwe and how horrified I am by the world response to it.

Hope you all are well. Congrats mom!! I heard and saw the pictures on the horses. I love it! Angel loves babies! how amazing. I even had a dream about a little black baby horse the other day. Also fun stuff, I went to the movies last night, for the first time in a year and a half and saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The 3rd indiana jones is still by far my favorite, but I had a good time, and really, I feel like if there was every a time to see Indiana Jones, its in a theatre if you can. So yea. Good times.

But thats all I got for now. Best of luck to everyone at home, I can't wait to see y'all again. Its 21 months away here and counting. Love!

So finally got a few pictures of the school up there, though alas my camera has run out of batteries so no more. But yes, those are pictures regarding my school, working on the desks.

As to the rest, I just wanted to say, about Victoria falls. I had a great time!~ Anyway, me and jeremy hopped on the train down south 2 days later, and had a nice relaxing ride down to Zambia. It was my first train ride and I had an awesome time envisioning scenes from the orient express! Ha. Especially when we went in a tunnel and when we came out of the dark I half hoped for someone to have been mysteriously dead, or some jewels to have been stolen.

Anywho on the way we hooked up with a British man and a Canadian girl. They were great, and hilarious and had the best travel plans EVER. When we asked where they were headed they said "our eventual destination is Johannesburg (South Africa)". How perfect is that?!Really. Just pick a place and somehow, train/plane/automobile arrive.

So when we got off the train, since we were headed in the same direction we traveled together by bus...another exciting adventure in bribing and lying which I won't relate due to length...to Lusaka (the capital of Zambia). Since it was late those folks spent the night there but me and Jeremy decided to just finish the haul and continued on (another 7hr bus ride) to Livingstone-where Vic Falls is.

We slept in the next day and just walked around the town. Then the day after we took the free bus out to the falls. It was...BEAUTIFUL . The kind of place where pictures don't do it justice, though I do have some online. When Livingstone first arrived there he said "scenes so lovely must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight". Really is an apt description. Anyhow we hiked around there all day, taking pictures of baboons, and falls, etc. Awesome.

Next day we did a full day thing called gorge swing/abseiling/rappeling/ziplining. It was 4 activities in one package, along with lunch included and free drinks (free beer too!. Only in Africa would you be offered a free beer before jumping off a cliff. God bless.) Those pictures also online on my facebook site...thats www.facebook.com, and then look for Sarah Springsteen. The gorge swing was scary as hell...it included a 54 meter free fall. But awesome. We had a great time.

Trip back was again a bit frantic...BUT we made the train (only JUST). I ended up taking the train all the way back to Dar es Salaam, and again I liked it. My butt (wowowo in slang swahili...pronounced woah woah woah...awesome right?! :) ) gets so freaking sore sitting all day so I just LOVE trains now. You can sleep. You can eat. You can walk around, no worries! Jeremy lives in Mbeya so he got off there so we even got to have one of those classic train moments where you wave goodbye, running backward in the train trying to still see them, while sticking your hand out the window! Ha. I love it.

Also on the way back on the train ran into another interesting character (traveling is chuck FULL of interesting folks!) Anyway he quit his job and is toolin around Africa, and has been for like 3 months now. Had a great conversation and learned lots about traveling in Egypt. He actually didn't take a cell phone with him on purpose. Wanted to be gone from all that. So he talks to people on email when he gets to a new place. Cool huh?

Anyway, life besides that is well. I feel more rested now. I am in Dar again though like 2 weeks later as the new islands representative of the Peer Support and Diversity network (PSDN). I'm happy, hanging out with other PCVs, enjoying the food and city life. Here all has transitioned into the rainy season so everything looks kind of damp and muddy at the moment and it rains alot. Fortunately I don't live in an area where bridges are flooded out and roads are impassable but I know other PCVs do. So kudos to them!

Anyhow, hope everyone is well. Miss you all, and can't wait to see you again!

Students sitting on the floor working on school work and studying.

Above: My headmaster, Mr. Sabui, with the head fundi, Mr. Ali (fundi means builder in Swahili)

Above left: Another fundi sawing support boards for the desks which are being built.

Left: Mr. Ali, and other fundi's, working out some extra sawing on the desks before they get sanded and varnished. At this stage they like to put an extra groove in the front of the desks, a place for students to place pencils.

To fruits, to no absolutes!

So yay. Things are great and its finally arrived to a little vacation again! Yay. I'm in Mbeya now and headed to victoria falls. Its awesome. So far its been such an adventure. And why not? I love adventures

Seriously my last writing might have people think I'm suffering in the pit of despair or something, or pit of frustrations. Or whatever. But not so. Sometimes here too, I know that I'm exactly where I want to be and should be. Cause whether I'm maddeningly frustrated or not, I also feel so ALIVE! Its awesome. And I remember one time, watching these musicians play, ad I know what it was I saw when I saw them preforming, it was freedom. That must have been it. They were jumping around, acting crazy, dancing on the piano, all things you couldn't do in real life, and it was freedom. The freedom to live in the moment, to be who you crazily are.

And when I'm here I know I'm where I should be sometimes cause thats how I feel. Free. I feel so free and alive sometimes its crazy!

Anyway, so now I'm headed on another crazy adventure. First night n Dar es Salaam was an event. I spent the night with the father of a zanzibari friend, and now will write an ode to Cats! Seriously. Cats are such functional animals I kid you not. Came to appreciate mine all over again when I spent a sleepless night being freaked out over the rats in my room. They are such disgusting animals really. Freaked the bejezzus out of me the next morning when it jumped in my lap as I grabbed my bag and scuddled away. But it was a really great night at alocal house in Dar es Salaam besides that. Then while on the bus to Mbeya my bus broke down and I hitched a ride with a fellow passenger across Tanzania, where we hopped on a coaster and finally made it to Mbeya. Sometimes you gotta live in the moment. Take the oppurtunities that come. And I met, the actual head of one of the major banks of tanzania. He's the head guy. Period. And my fellow travel buddy was his fellow. Its so awesome. And on my ride with the rich and famous (and boy were they rich) i had cold chicken and pineapple juice. And I met a man who proudly sported a pink velvet cowboy hat. Proudly. And this is just the begining. So tomorrow i hope the train to Zambia. I hope for an adventure and excitement. Here's to life!

P.S. Note this was posted originally March 21. I have now been on, and returned from vacation and I promise more posts as soon as humanely possible. Vic Falls is B E A U T I F U L. Really. Love ya all and hope you had a wonderful Easter. Sorry I couldn't get through to anyone or you couldn't get through to me, my phone doesn't work in Zambia. No service. Happy Easter Break.

Hey all, another month almost done! Wow, and I just wanted to throw in a quick follow up about my previous blog, because on the whole looking back at it, it seems to me rather incoherently written, and doesn't quite get my point across. However if you want to understand the subject better, be sure to read this much more calm and articulate note on the subject of gender segregation and women on Zanzibar. It's from my friend Caitlin's blog. She's been on Zanzibar since last June working a CIDA internship (CIDA- Canadian International Development Angency is like the USAID of Canada-she's canadian) and she wrote this at just about the same time I wrote my blog. (Though we hadn't been in touch when each wrote our blogs you will notice how they do have many similar things to say...though hers is much less passionate and more articulate. )My blog is supposed to explain how its like here as well as what I'm up to, and so I thought maybe this would help some.

Its at this site

http://zanzibar-caitlin.blogspot.com/2008/02/gender-segregation.html

A very VERY interesting thing to read would be the comments she got to that blog. I think they rather speak for themselves.

Anyway, on a whole though things are going well here. I don't mean to alarm people or anything, its just things go in waves you know? Sometimes you love a place, sometimes you don't. BUT I'm definately SO GLAD I came.

Also good news to all! THE PROJECT is finished! I'll write you so much more Saturday when I'm not burrowing the computer, but it is! Its finished! The desks are built and I have pictures and everything! So still reports and what not to do, but we'll be getting those pictures etc out there soon, so cross your fingers.

Anyway, love all tons. Write more soon

Ha. So in my life I have never ever had so much appreciation for stereotypes. Never! I think this will probably be the closest I ever come to understanding what its like for African Americans in the U.S., or Arab-Americans, or Asian women. Etc. I never knew!

So what is the problem here and why does it exist? Because of stereotypes, which like all stereotypes exist for a very good reason. There are alot of swahili men with a very practical outlook in regards to money and future, and alot of tourists,-on vacation therefore out for a thrill, and alot of underconfident white women wishing for love in the world. And the combination of these 3 factors leads to a stereotype about the real reason white women come to zanzibar that outside of my village and 5km surrounding is rather impossible to break in all but an experienced few. (Before venting my frustrations on the matter it should be noted how I very much love my immediate surroundings, treasure the people, and treasure the respect I recieve at the school...its just outside of that 5km radius where things get frustrating)

For more than one reason I hate it. I hate it, cause after 1 year and a half almost of enduring it I am dead tired of it. I hate it cause I am in almost a constant state of aggression to get respect despite the double whammy of being white and female (there's no such thing as mzungu privilege here) and I am a person who likes to please, I like people to like me. I worry that I won't be able to step back from this aggressive response to life when I get back in the states and already it invades my normal life in ways I don't like. And I hate it because it makes me stereotype in response too. Any swahili male approaches and I instantly adopt an icy stand-offish attitude if they are friendly. And once in a while I think its so possible that they are just being nice, but what will they see? They'll know that white women are rude only. And yet what can I do otherwise given the situation. The fact is nothing, and that is a hard decision (at least for me) to come by. (Which by the way is something I notice in general. I feel like Africa, or at least Zanzibar and Tanzania, is the land of the hard decisions. Where, some 1st world morals get waysided for the general good....or at least its hard to say your decision was right or wrong, only you can say that it needed to be made...but maybe thats life, and I'm only seeing it now)

And yet as maddening as the experience has been at times I know its positive in some ways too. The buddhists are right about some things. Suffering can be so positive in its educational quality. Its not like I read about racial stereotypes in a book. Its not like a teacher involved me in an activity to talk about gender roles, or I did a report on it. The kind of experience i gain here is incalcuable in its depth of understanding. I know what its like and I could never again have anything but empathy for the frustrations and anger that different groups have against stereotypes and assumptions. Especially immigrants, god bless the strength they must have to do what they do. I mean its SOOO true, just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. It really really REALLY doesn't. You talk to a PC guy and he might tell you this friend he knows is really great!, and then you talk to that same PC guy's female friends and they'll tell you a completely different story bout this "friend". And this guy only realizes his "friend" is alittle rude to women, not the extent, cause this "friend" doesn't act like that around him so much.

Now obviously this is Zanzibar not America. But after living here, gaining this knowledge about assumptions acted out by people based on race and gender, and having different people...(men, sorry dudes) doubt my experience, or minimize it, because they've never had such a problem or noticed it, it has made me take a hard look at my previous attitude in the states about how much race at least affects things in the states. Not saying I know what its like too be black in the U.S., I'm saying specifically now that I don't know, and I won't assume to know anymore.

On another note, how bout an interesting story about 1st world, 2nd world and 3rd world. According to what I've heard now these are not accurate terms to describe developing and developed countries. After all, ever notice how theres no 2nd world countries?

So where they come from is the cold war apparently. 1st world was U.S. and all its allies, 2nd world was Soviets and all their allies, 3rd world was everybody else. Only now there's no 2nd world and I've notice that basically everyone who embraced western culture...aka u.s. canada and western europe tends to be 1st world, and everyone else, something else. Though its changed some now with asian countries doing better. But anyway, better term is developing countries and developed.

But thats all I got for now!

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE!!!!

and Mom!!! :)

So how've things been on the island? Great. Really great. What have I been up to?

Starting school, scuba diving, drinking scotch and building christmas bonfires on beach with Zimbabweans and South Africans, gourmet cooking(sting ray or eel alfredo anyone?) dancing the night away and new years skinny dipping, raising money to build desks so my students won't sit on the floor, fiinding money to send my fellow teachers abroad to college, applying for future jobs....maybe antartica? Maybe?!

Yep so its been a really busy last few weeks. Sorry no writing. But first, FIRST.

THANK YOU!!!! To everyone who donated or helped convinced people to donate to my project. It worked. The grants in. It worked!! What I mean is, all the money has been donated. This means that the money has been collected in washington. Of course, as we all know, it takes a little bit to get money from washington, to the actual beneficiaries. So right now, waiting until washington sends the check to PC Tanzania. And then after gotta wait until PC tanzania deposits the money in my bank. I estimate at least a couple weeks. Such is life.

But step one accomplished so I think its important to stay happily focused on this.

School has started as I mentioned, and I think I'll be teaching Form 4 physics, and math and form 3 physics. Which just means I'll follow the form 3's from last year forward. Interesting.

What do I think? Its cool with me, life is good.

As to break, it was quite exciting and good. Visitin and visiting! I felt like a social butterfly. For New years a whole bunch of people came to my island and we went to a hotel on the beach. By the way, its B E A U T I F U L . yup. And we stayed for like 3 days there just hanging on the beach. Sometimes its nice to do nothing. Really. Anyway, didn't do exactly nothing. Danced the new years night away. Also jumped into the Indian Ocean at midnight to celebrate the dawn of 08! Oh yea.

Next day sadly I had to cut short the vacation to head back home. But got lots of rest that night and afterwords the next day, was all fresh and ready for the start of school. Then that night got some visitors. New guy and old friend stopped by for a couple days to see my site. Very great. We had some scrumptious gourmet meals...one night calamari and octupus, half sauteed in an Alfredo sauce and half boiled. To that we added garlic mashed potatoes and shark with lime and spinach. Then the next night we gave our sting ray and eel the same treatment, also including spinach and garlic mashed potatoes. Delicious! All of this included copius amounts of fresh slushi-esk tamarind juice.

And now we're in Dar es Salaam, for our mid-service conference. Its a good place to be and full of free internet!!! (At the pc lounge that is). Myself I'm happy and I'm in with all my training class and its great. Got my teeth cleaned and getting my TB status checked.

The one sorta exciting thing that is happening now is that about 40 of the PC Kenya volunteers are currently in the country right now. They've been evacuated because of the election violence going on there and so they are chillin at a hotel in our country at the moment. The rest are in other locations.

So thats life for now. Hope all is well on your all's side of the world and I will say baadaye, for now.

Lata! But don't forget

THANK YOU!!!

So here's a christmas carol I wish I could hear! And see. Hope all is well in the U.S., and next year, will sing it for real

I'm dreamin of a white Christmas

just like the ones I used to know

Where the tree tops glisten

And children listen

to hear, sleighbells in the snow

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

with every Christmas card I write

may your days be merry and white!

And may all your Christmases be white

Siku Kuu, is just a way to say holiday in Kiswahili. So happy holidays! Here, I've just gone through my second Eid al Hajj (the festival surrounding a devout Muslims trip to Mecca), and it was great. Even better than the first in some ways - the main way being that the 5 day dance-party that lasts till 4 am each night outside my window didn't work out this year, speakers bad or something...I was of course crushed! - But yea. Took lots of pictures again, I think I'm getting the hang of this lighting thing...and color backgrounds etc. better. People LOVE it when I take pictures here. Its cool. But really annoying sometimes too. Like when you are tired and its late and 30 people want their pictures taken...But hey!

I went to an Eid party, where they had drums banging and kids dancing and it was really beautiful and I just wanted to take a gazillon pictures. I kid you not, all the people, it was like a field of flowers!! It was so pretty, there are so many colors! I LOVE how not afraid of colors they are, they just go with it. Greens, pinks, yellows, blues, sparkles, shimmer, lace, and puff! They just run with it. Anyway, I got about 3 pictures off- one of one of my favorite little kids Ahmed, he's adorable - before I was literally SURROUNDED in kids. They were about 3 deep, circling me, all clamoring for me to take THEIR pictures. As in 50 pictures at once! So I had to put away the camera, cause now people were stopping paying attention of the drummers and dancers and starting to pay attention to the white girl! Talk about being the life of the party. Anyway after about 5 minutes of various adults helping to disperse the kids I was able to sit down and enjoy the end of the party.

Hows it there? Its literally been a very strange christmas season here. I've not yet heard any christmas music on anything. Though I did find a few cards to send to people. I hope you get them! Tomorrow is christmas eve and its so strange to not hear christmas music till then at church! But it should be fun. I hum things to myself anyway, and think what I would play on the piano if I could. I miss everyone, but at least next year, I'll see people for christmas (Insha allah!) You know too, as much as christmas may be way to commercialized in the U.S., it is nice to have a whole SEASON of it! I mean minus presents etc, its just nice that everyone can get an excuse to be kinder and pleasant. Heres to next year having a christmas season!

But until that point, wishing everyone Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

So yay! My projects up on the website!! This means any and all who'd like to contribute money towards the project are now able too.

So how to get there.

First you need to get to the peace corps website. It is www.peacecorps.gov

Then on the left towards the bottom should be a big highlighted link that says, DONATE NOW. Click on it

On this next page the first link under the overview says, Donate to volunteer projects. Click on that

Next you choose a region. I am in Africa, so you'll wanna go for that region

Then just scroll down untill you reach the projects in Tanzania, and you'll see me and the desk construction!

Just write the amount you'd like to donate and scroll down to the bottom to hit continue. It'll ask you to confirm it and also confirm your info and then you should be set!

So cool right!? Anyway, thanks in advance. Lily, sorry I didn't get the pictures yet, the computers are completely uncooperative on those sometimes but I'll try again this weekend.

Best wishes and thanks!!

So , as title says, happy thanksgiving to all and a happy holidays in gen. Zanzibar's a happenin place as always.

Good news. Grant was approved! This means they have ok'd it in country. Right now it is on its way to Washington, at which point after no doubt maybe a week's worth of redtape (more or less) it'll be put on the PC website and be up for donations. When I know more bout where it is and how to donate I'll be positive to let everyone know. Right now its just meanderin its way through the various random legal twists and turns. Also a few people who I put on the grant may find themselves getting info in the next few weeks, but this in no way means you have to do anything, or anything more or less than anyone else. As well if you don't get this mailing it means nothing as well. I only had a certain number of spots and put addresses off hand in them. Anyone can donate or not as they please. But as I said, when i know more , you will.

On other topics. Had some shadowers over to my site. These are future PCV's in training who come to stay with a current PCV for a few days to learn what normal life is like. I think it went well! My neighbors were great. And everyone seemed all around quite happy . All the kids came ov er, which as my parents can attest, can be alot of kids. Like 30 ish. And then when my and my female shadower went over to get henna done we ended up being the local entertainment for like an hour and a half. 50 some people watchin her get henna. And talking, and visiting. I think I'll be a total snob when I get back and wonder why no one is obsessed and impressed by my every boring move.

Afterword I went to visit a friend and picked up some totally entertaining stories. Like the one where a local friend of his was talkin to him, expressing his happiness that he had come to zanzibar. "You know" says his friend "it is so lucky that you've come here, you help us too, but there is so much that we can teach you as well!". " Like what?" asks my friend. "Well for example", says his friend "I've heard that when you wazungu (white people) go to the bathroom, you clean yourselves with paper. How disgusting!! Water is so much cleaner! I can teach you the proper way to clean yourself." (To those that don't know Swahili people don't use toilet paper but their left hand and water to clean themselves)

" Well" says my friend, "we often think it dirty that you use your bare hand", "But" says his friend "we use it for nothing else so it is no matter." -- it's considered very poor manners to offer another person anything using your left hand. Just goes to show! Different customs.

Or the story of the hatchet carrying chanting women in the north. Or the mbaya children. On another had an interesting quest for local pombe (alcohol- many tribes make local alcohol out of whatevers the main crop in the area, maize, bananas, coconunt, papa ya- but we don't have tribes here and muslims are forbidden alcohol) on our muslim island, and how we were successful, but moneyless, and hawked our phone card to get some.

For thanksgiving we went to the beach with the remaining members in our small PC posse. But no fear. We're gettin new blood! Well one new member anyway. Not enough to bring our numbers much up though, we're becoming rather few (though proud) . And as for myself, I'm now the sole female. Alas! But in terms of the pickings, numbers are alot more in my favor anyway! :)

Also for the month I've decided my biggest regret was not bringing my camera to the previous full moon party. O ne of the acrobats we're friends with invited me on stage and I got the pleasure of being all wrapped up in a massive foot-wide python. Seriously. I kid you not. Ok, well while its not my biggest regret at all, it woulda been cool to have proof such a narley thing happened. Ya know?

And I gotta go, runnin out of time. But just wanted to thank everyone for great response to my project and promisin to help out with money/supplies etc.

Love muc

Start of November and thus I've been on this island over 11 months! In this country going on 1 year and 2 months. Thanksgiving and the other holidays fast approaching. Again. I think for thanksgiving this year us on the islands will be spending some time on one of the beautiful beaches here.

Christmas who knows yet? Depends alittle on our new volunteers too.

So lately what's happened.

I've discovered a few things.

I was wrong. I was proud when people tell me I think to much. "Darn right I do!" I thought. But I've discovered that work can be really healing too. I mean I knew it, but I didn't really know it, until now. Sometimes the solution isn't to sit on your friends figurative "couch" and discuss all your problems, cause its possible the problems don't have solutions, or there is no right solution, or if there is its impossible for you to figure it out.

I mean really I curse it, adult life. I feel like something in one aspect is spinning out of control (friends, relationships, money, work whatever), but everything else is barrelling ahead in a normal fashion, and you can't hardly pause to stop and fix that which is broken cause everything else needs your attention too. And I want the whole train to just 'STOP for a second!', so I can pause and catch my breath, but its like a juggernaut and everything just keeps going, dragging me along with it. But maybe its better. Cause when there is no fix, and you cant make it better, then the fix might just be time right?.

So I've been throwing myself into work lately, and I honestly think that this may be as right a solution to my personal dilemmas as anything else I will find. Granted I may not be as great at it as I would normally be in all aspects, but insome ways I'll be better. And its helped really. Keeps my mind off things I can't change and helps me focus on a thing which I can make better.

But as probably the entire rest of the world has done at what point or another, I asked myself why? Why God?! I asked that while examining the shambles of what I thought I had. And I think I got my answer yesterday. Was going through pictures of the renovations on the church at home and there was one picture of the inside of the church which was completely applicable. In the picture the entire inside of the church was torn apart and there was dust and workmen everywhere with power tools and people sanding and broken benches etc. The caption on the picture said something along the lines of how "some people would call this a MESS, I call it THE PROMISE OF GREAT THINGS TO COME". So here's to hoping again. The best wine comes last eh?!

The last 2 things are much less personal. But its really bout aid groups. You know after working on an international aid orgainization for a while, and seeing some people come and go and hearing different people talk, its really easy to question how much good international/foreign aid does. Is it really helping? I'm not sure yet, some definately not, some maybe. But one of the things that I don't question anymore is community groups. Sort of the hometown aid groups. Seriously and SERIOUSLY, I was wrong about them. Things like Lions Club, and Church Auxilory Groups and Kiwanis and Masons, and band clubs, and bake sales and food drives...even here in Tanzania, there is no question about how important those groups are and how much good the do. Thats what it really should be like. Really insome ways foreign aid is quite condescending and weakening. It reinforces the idea that people are disadvantaged, that they couldn't do it for themselves, that they need handouts or they'll never get better. And its arrogant sometimes on our part, thinking that people couldn't survive, couldn't figure it out, without us. But people in a community, no matter how small banding together to do something for themselves, thats never condescending, thats only empowering, and theres nothing that can engender in outsiders but respect. And no matter how small it is, and how silly it is in the grand scheme of things, its powerful. It matters. Its helping each other, combined with helping ourselves, and I'd be tempted to say its alot more effective than many of the things I will do or other foreign aid groups. It should be like that always and everytime if at all possible.

And finally with that thought in mind, I would just like to say, isn't it great. There are some amazing people in the world. Really! I feel like I get to meet SO MANY interesting people being here. Like I love how strange and thought provoking they are. And I have met so many small people and silly people and then I get frustrated, and then I meet someone who will change the world for the better. Who have such hope for and faith in the world and their work that you can't help but believe too. Or I meet a free thinker, who worked until she was 30 and then completely started school overagain to become what she wanted to be. And i just never quite realized how large a group the idealists and free thinkers, and adventurers really are in the world. I love it.

And finally put that all together, I have a project I am working on now to build desks for my completely overcrowded school so that 108 more students will be able to attend next year. If you are at all interested in donating, anything however small to the project I would be completely appreciative. Just contact me.

Thanks and love

Sarah

So I stole the story below direct from a friend of mine's facebook page, but I had to get it out there cause I think its really great, and I don't imagine most of you know her.

She and I as well were on the same plane of thought, sort of bumming at the halfway point of our Peace Corps service. Its like when you realize you have to do THE ENTIRE thing all over again. And her mom sent her this message.

But I think it rather applies to halfway points in life/work/jobs wherever. So I hope you enjoy it as much as I do and get something out of it.

----------------------------------

i was doing some more free association with the marathon-as-lifeanalogy. you're not really at mile 21, are you? you're dead on mile13, the halfway mark. mile 13 is a bitch. all the half-marathoners are finishing up, and going off into the finish chute on the left, and getting their medals, and high-fiving, and drinking a cold one and taking their frickin shoes off and massaging theys feets, and you're going straight ahead onto mile 14. that's the place where you have to make a firm decision, plant it in your head that you're gonna finish this bitch, hell or high water, one foot in front of the other, twice what you've already done, how the holy hell are you going to manage that hey it doesnt matter one foot in front of the other it doesnt matter im here to finish.

once you get beyond all the half-marathon guys, you begin to see other (for me) back-of-the-pack old broads chugging it out, asses flapping, this look on their face that says im in it,motherfuckers, im in the game and watch me dance! and f everyone else that think im too old too fat too weeny too ugly too fillintheblank that think i cant watch me now! one foot in front of the other. we find solace in our amigos on the road. the 75year old power-walking lady with the long blue denimskirt on and her hair in a kerchief, all wrinkled and leathery from too much sun, wisps of white hair all wet on her forehead and in front of her ears, pumping her arms in a steady time, one foot in front of the other march march march on and on. the young fat guy with the purple face with a belly all chafed from his 4X gym shorts, blisters all over his feet, moving forward, on and on, like a big butted boulder being shoved down the pike by an invisible wind.

you become part of the river, united by this strange and tortured menagerie of folk, moving ondown the stream of humanity, all one bound in some amalgam of heart and soul and sweat and dreams and nightmares and being put down over and over by the normal people and finally putting sail to your dream in to the no mans dead zone of miles 13 through 16, hanging on by sheer grit and determination to wrest reality from your puny little insignificant life to become a hero in your own heart, nothing to prove to anyone but yourself that you love you enough to finish the race, remembering Hebrews "let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us"and hoping that the angels will carry you on their wings because that little voice in your ear is surely the devil telling you to stop, take a break, lie down, just stop a minute its ok, and denying the voice its temptation and willing the angels wings to float you above your body so that you can move on with the river of weirdos moving toward a higher plane.

then comes mile 17, and its single digits, and you're out of the dry parched no mans zone where theres no beginning and no end, the arid country of self doubt and humiliation, single digits now and you can count down nine to one,certainly, single digits and the end is in sight on the horizon. i have persevered i have struggled through my self doubt and the tears are streaming down my face because for the first time in the last five miles i see the finish line and i am certain i am sure i am rapturous i am joy itself because i know in my heart of hearts that i will finish i am i am i am whole and complete and utterly awesomely courageously OKAYin this moment.

youre at mile 13 cimz and its supposed to suk. thats what it feels like.

So lets see. Tons as usual has happened in the past month, not all of which I can share legally, but all important.

But first and foremost.

My parents were here! Mom and Dad. It was so great to see you!! We saw all the big sites - Serengeti, Tarengire, Manyara, Kilimanjaro, Zanzibar-of course. It was really neat, and really hard to say goodbye again. Especially when I knew I wouldn't see them in so long. Definately glad they came though.

Been back now for a bit, and toolin around my island. Have discovered that many of the other beaches are beautiful too. Really. There is a ton of beautiful beaches on this island!

Also have discovered many of the answers of why everything is so expensive here, and it is and isn't do to the number of tourists. This is the part can't really discuss, but safe to say it starts with a c and ends with an-tion- and its really really bad. Like the kind of stuff it just sounds ridiculous to me, go straight to the police and papers kind of ridiculous. But there isn't a police or papers that aren't involved. Its alot worse than the mainland, and has alot to do why normal Zanzibaree's don't own any businesses, how they are owned by foreigners, and people with alot of money.

Can't stop thinkin bout it.

But you all can ask me when I get back. For now, really dreading the transition back into work. Isn't that terrible? But its true. If only I could run around my island for 2 years instead of working too. Ha. I think I'm in a year slump maybe. Now that everyones gone or leaving, I'm losing some motivation. So have started to make new plans again. I need something to hope for, and look forward to, you know? And this all requires me to make it the whole 2 years. So its good. Motivation. In anycase

Hope you all are well.

SOrry for the block. Just tired and resting.

Just wanted to say, life's good here. Getting along alright. Sorry I couldn't put up the picture, but I'll try again soon. But yay! Mom and Dad arrive today. Just in the airport waiting for them now! Happy Ramadhan everyone! I fasted for 2 days but won't while on my vacation with the parents. Maybe again after.

So many things happen in such a short time that its impossible (of course as I'm sure everyone suspected) to convey the experience through blog. But lets see

So what's up with the U.S. lately? Did I hear correctly that a mine collapsed in Utah, AND a bridge in Minnesota? And how's those presidential debates going? I think its gonna be such an exciting race now that its more diverse. Really, I mean for the first time in my entire life and in the history of this country the leader of the United States could look like...me. I know the argument, its not the sex but the politics that matter. Or the race but the politics. But for all the white men out there who read this, just try to imagine a country where for the entire history of the country it was run by black, or hispanic or indian women, andtry to imagine how exciting it would be for once to see a canidate who looked like you. Sure there's many arguments for disregarding appearance, but doesn't just a little part of you wish to vote for them anyway?

Its just this, appearance does matter. Really. Not obviously for the most important people in your life who will love you however you look, but alot of first appearances affect alot of things. And second etc. For example one of the things I will relish coming back to the US is anonymity. Wherever I go here I always stand out. Always, except when I am in Stonetown. And even then I have an appearance issue, of appearing to be a tourist because people really sometimes do not look beyond skin color. Even when I cover my hair and wear long skirts and long shirts, and speak kiswahili, people take one look at me and give me the mzungu price. I stick out like a sore thumb. So everything I do is like on candid camera, with kids "look Bi Sarah is buying an orange" or "Mzungu is riding a daladala", and when every little action that you take is a big event in others lives, it gets very...tiring. So I'm looking forward to the annonymity. But then it got me to thinking, in the US this is also part of a racial problem we have. When I go somewhere I am annonymous, but for black people in St. Ignace to go somewhere, not so much. They would have exactly the same problem I have here. And Indian people too (India Indian), and most certainly Muslims. So in very many cases, I am relishing to return to an anonymity which some people will never have. Because of their outward appearance. Which makes places like Isreal, and Mecca and any cultural/racial enclave in the US SOOOOO much more understandable. You don't realize how much you take for granted your racial appearance until you are the odd one out and how comforting it is to be not the odd one out just once in a while. And I'm sure this applies to race as easily as it applies to physical deformities, and other differentiating characteristics. This makes the U.S. such an interesting thing really as mentioned in Newsweek, because here you have a country not founded on a shared history, but a shared set of ideals. And that is REALLY REALLY wierder and wierder when you think about it. It's incredibly unique. Anyway the philosophy could go on and on, but the point is, in very many aspects of society in a way I didn't realize and don't think is necessarily bad -it just is-, outward appearances matter.

So on the US note, I'm excited cause this weekend I met and had lunch with some very friendly big wigs in the US government, and I have the pictures to prove it. My 1hr of fame. From Zanzibar, we had the first lady, Mama Shadya Karume, and the Minister of Health Sultan Mohammed Mugheiry, and the General Secretary to the minister (I shook the first ladies hand, eek!). And from the US there were more important people than I can remember, but a very friendly one I talked to throughout the lunch Admiral Tim Zeimer, who was head of the Presidents Malaria Initiative (a 1.5 billion dollar project and he's the head man!). He was great and totally a regular joe when I talked to him even though he probably knows Mr. George W. Bush well - since he was appointed by the pres. And also there was the head of the Center for Disease Control(from washington) and the Tanzania country director of the CDC as well. Furthermore Mr. Mark. Diebold the director of PEPFAR (Presidents Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief - a 15 billion dollar organization and he's the main man!) was there as well as a nice man from Nigeria, Mr. Smuel Adeniyi-Jones, from the US health and Human Services (he is the director of the Africa region) and the head of the US department of Health and Human Services Michael O. Leavitt who most certainly knows the president well. And I shook his hand and got a picture with him and Mama Karume and some others which I will show you. Also of course the US Ambassador in Tanzania was there. So I shook hands with bigwigs and felt important. It was cool. And then not a half hour later, I was asking someone a favor to use their squat choo on the normal streets of Zanzibar. So back to reality for me, but it was fun and a delicious dinner while it lasted. Anyway, I'll post the picture next time, but hope you all are doing well. Wishing the school bound good luck with the start of school. I'm getting excited here for my upcoming vacation!

love much

So since the week before was so serious, I thought I'd regale you all this weekend with a tale of totally cool day I had on Thursday.

So recently I've made friends with two of the students from one village over, trying to help them alittle with English and they are just in gen, interesting. In anycase they invited me over to their village and so Thursday I went. And it was great. First I went to the one students house. Where his family bought me a fanta orange, and some wafer cookies. And we talked and he showed me the house. I just have to say, really Tanzanians know how to make a guest feel welcome when they want too. They are all way poorer than me, but it is extremely poor form for them to allow me to leave without a zawadi( present ) of some form. So in this case we had soda. Then we went walking, and they showed me the school, and then we arrived back in the villages behind the main village on the road to my other student-friends house. Its a red mud path back there and the houses themselves, as with many houses here are built with mud and sticks and have a thatch roof. Although, my student friends here *the main house* had corrogated metal sheet roof...alittle better. Anyway, so we arrived at a little enclave with 5 houses together. And they all have a well in the main area which they share. And it was just really touching the whole thing. They were obviously a bit more poor than the first family, his mom was out collecting firewood, but they still managed to greet me with smiles and oranges that they had gone way out of their way to pick. Delicious. The housing set up here is a bit different so the main rooms in the house are together, and the parents sleep inside, but the children had little huts to themselves to sleep. And there is a special hut for cooking. And my stuudents told me that these five families all tend to cook together dinner every night. And everyeone cooks whatever they can manage to get. This way some nights when you can't get food for whatever reason, everyone still gets to eat. Cause its inevitable that some nights others won't get some food and you'll share with them. Think of how tight that community must be? To me it makes alot of sense. They are obviously extremely poorer than people in the U.S. and yet, in the way of family and community support, so very rich. At night there's nothing to do but sit out and talk. In some ways your neighbors would be your family too in this sort of situation. Anyway, we went for another walk too and my students introduced me to the young coconut. He even got one for me. He tied a rope around his legs, and used it as leverage to shimmy his way all the 40 feet up the branchless coconut tree, and chop some down. I made them promise to let me try sometime. Then we drank the milk from the inside, and afterwords scooped out the guts. Delicious! And then I had two more coconuts and 3 oranges left to take home with me.

So yay. It was really fun.

And now I must go. Hope all are well. Miss you!