No need to get angry. Yes it has been a while since I posted last....but certainly the quality makes up for the quantity...right? Anyways, I have said goodbye to village and will soon say goodbye to Benin and hello to the good ol' US of A. But for now I will say goodbye to internet and hello to my bed. (And after that whole thing about quality you were probably expecting something quite profound). Well I guess next time I will just have to write something profound...maybe about expectations. =).

Jer

September 1st. That is when I get to head back to the states! I don’t know my travel plans so I will not say when I will actually arrive in San Diego, but September 1st is my last day of Peace Corps service. With only a few months left it is time to remember what is really important here.

I was caught off guard yesterday by a woman in village. She brought me to her house to see the new baby that her sister had. She then asked me to give the newborn a name so that after I leave she can say “this is the name that Yentema gave her.” So I dubbed her Sarah. I wish I would have had more time to think, not something I was expecting to do that day.

I went fishing this past week of which some pictures should soon be posted on facebook. It was quite fun. I think I will have better luck back in Minnesota but I will definitely feel lazy fishing with a pole when these guys use baskets and spears as well as having to deal with the occasion ‘non-sacred’ crocodile. (Apparently the sacred ones will not bite you).

For all of you back in the states graduating this month, Congratulations!!!!

Jer

I find it slightly unnerving when I go to the lab to have my blood taken (again) but this time the lab tech places one of those absorbent sheets under my arm and over my lap 'just in case.' Well I suppose 'just in case' she severs my arm at least I won't get blood on my shorts. That is a relief, cuz I really like these shorts.

Oh yes it can be done! Though it never should. It was a moment of desperation the evening of Cinco de Mayo after realizing the flour bought for dinner was in fact lentil flour not wheat.

The past two weeks I have been in our Cotonou office's Med Unit recovering from a bout of 'intestinal issues' that managed to knock me down a good 15 pounds. But with my appetite now growing and pocketbook shrinking I am getting ready to go back to Tanongou. I will once again pass the weekend here but am hopeful that the coming week will allow me to get back. I do wonder if I am getting too used to the world of running water, internet, hamburgers, burritos, and English speakers. It is frightfully too easy to forget what life in village can be like. And with some of the previously mentioned luxuries of the south it is an exercise in discipline to make time for prayer and devotion.

Tomorrow there is a GAD (Gender and Development) fundraising dinner and auction which will keep me busy for helping to set up and taking pictures before and during the event. It should be fun and a nice change of pace.

Just when you think you have things under control.

It has been a week and a half since I left village, and will be at least another 4 days before I go back. I had originally planned on spending two days in town for some r and r, but by the second day it was clear I was not going back so soon. Probably the worst intestinal bug I have had since I got here decided to make a surprise appearance. After a week of ineffective treatments here in Cotonou it looks like they might have finally figured out what was getting me sick. So starting today I am on a new suite of meds which should fix me up.

This is definitely having a negative effect on my Masters project but I am trying to be patient with all of that, until I get back up north there is nothing I can do here.

It is a lesson in patience, trust, and humility.

Down to about 4 months left here in Benin, and yes I'm counting the days. It seems most, though not all, of us volunteers are itching to get out of here. I will be sad to leave a few friends in village, and I wonder how much I will keep in touch with those people after I leave. I am looking forward to moving in with my sister and her kids in fall before I leave for MTU. I am sure they will keep me from ever getting bored.

All for now,

Jer

"At certain times and places, God will build a mysterious wall around us. He will take away all the supports we customarily lean upon, and will remove our ordinary ways of doing things. God will close us off to something divine, completely new and unexpected, and that cannot be understood by examining our previous circumstances. We will be in a place where we do not know what is happening, where God is cutting the cloth of our lives by a new pattern, and thus where He causes us to look to Him."

April 5th entry of "Streams in the Desert"

There has been quite a different feel to the last few weeks for me. More or less my time has been filled with collecting, weighing, drying, and re-weighing soil samples, taking temperature measurements, and counting the number of buckets are used to water our garden. All part of what will hopefully be my Masters work. Health related activities have nearly disappeared (can’t say that I am fully disappointed about that) with the exception of monthly vaccination and baby weighing campaign. With some of the hottest weather coming in the past few weeks I am definitely hoping to re-charge while here in town (no a/c but at least there are fans). Last night was the best sleep I have had in a while and it helped much.

Why I can’t get angry in Benin.

Try your best here, wave your arms, stomp off angrily, yell some sarcastic or insulting remark. That’s just normal conversation.

Shopping spree.

I bought four chickens yesterday. Why? Cuz that’s how I roll.

Why is Shawshank Redemption such a great movie for geologists?

Well there is the description of obsidian when that one dude is looking for the thing buried under the stone wall. (ok so my movie trivia memory is lacking). But now I find myself secretly discarding the piles of soil that accumulate in my kitchen after taking so many soil samples.

Taste just like chicken…I mean kitten.

For that awful ice-breaker game two truths and a lie. I’ve eaten lion…or have I?

And finally a story.

Getting into town is always an adventure, this time particularly so. There are no regular taxis or motos that pass through Tanongou. The most regular cars that pass are those that go to and from the National Park Penjari. This time I had waited till just about evening before finding one that could take me to Natitingou. It was market day so the car was packed…ok…so it wasn’t really a car, but a pick-up truck modified with seats in the bed for tourists to sit in and watch the animals. I managed a seat on a bench in the bed of the pick-up facing backwards. (for those of you who saw pictures of Aaron’s visit it was the same vehicle that we took.) Of course, for the first time since October, it rains. There were five of us in the back when the driver stops and asks if we want to try and pile inside. I took advantage of the short silence that followed his question to say “no, it will stop soon, lets go” (I was in a hurry and didn’t want to cram everyone into the cab. Crazy American). I was right, the rain didn’t last for too long, the part that I didn’t figure was how it started pouring, and then there was the hail. All of that at 60 mph. Though our bodies were cold and stinging from the hail afterwards all we could do was laugh. Granted there was one guy who just looked at me, managed a smile, and slowly shook his head…the universal “you know your crazy, right?” look.

Funny story…

1. Wanting to give something special for my fam when I came back to village last time. I bought 500 CFA of ice (that’s a lot of ice) in the last town with electricity before leaving for mine, I had the moto taxi driver place the bag in front of him as I already had other baggage. Since the desert is hot* about half the ice melted leaving my taxi driver with cold wet pants and me presenting a bag of ice-water to my family. *This fun fact was provided by Jared at our high school lunch area.….(and yes, Jared I am eagerly awaiting a 10-10-10 reunion.)

2. After buying some drinks for the ladies that went into town to celebrate Women’s day the bartender brought out straws for those with sodas. Yet for some reason the women drinking the beers felt inclined to use the straws as well. With one lady in particular I got the feeling she had never used a straw before. She struggled for a good few minutes with her beer and straw until she finally set the straw aside and finished the beer…ok maybe you had to be there.

Awkward story…

1. Obama was crying and his mom was tired of breast feeding him. While I was taking with Abiba (the grandma of Obama) about the progress of our garden, the mother of Obama grabbed Abiba’s boob, pulled it out of her shirt, and gave it to Obama. Then both of them, letting it all hang out, laughed and told me how Obama won’t even realize that he isn’t getting any milk.

2. Latrine. No door. ‘nuf said.

3. And so many more things too awkward to put in a blog…just take my word for it.

Africa story…

1. There is a blind guy in our village and whenever I greet him he always asks me how my wife is (cuz he knows what my response will be) and then storms off because I havn’t picked one yet.

2. The only vehicle that was passing through our village yesterday was a van taking a traditional dance group to the celebration of women’s day. Wanting to get into town I watched from the inside of a van stuffed with 20 people as children we passed started to dance to the rhythm of the drums being beaten by the four men sitting on the roof.

3. As the normal processes of short distance travel here is waving down vehicles. I had the chance to wave down a semi a few months ago. Once I jumped into the cab with the driver, his wife, and the co-pilot I was promptly offered a shot of tea and we continued on our way. When I offered to pay the usual fare from Tanguieta to Nati 1,000 cfa (about 2 US$) the co-pilot looked confused turned to the driver who just let out a jolly laugh and politely refused to take my money.

4. I was sitting at the market last Sunday and just bought a couple bags of crackers to snack on later when two kids sat next to me. The two twin Fulani girls of about 9 years put their hands on my pockets to see if I had spare change (or in this case crackers) in my pockets. Needless to say I left without my crackers.

It is often so hard to describe what it is like for us here to those who have never been. There are so many times I open my blog write, rewrite, and then leave with nothing written.

Also after much debate (with myself) I have decided to wait until Spring to start MTU. So that means, God willing, sometime around September I will be arriving in San Diego possibly after a week or so visit to Minnesota. Hugely looking forward to friends and family, and this will give me a little more time with them before leaving again. Plus it allows me the option of spending a week in Senegal with some friends before heading back to the states.

Miss you all.Jer

It has been a fun few weeks with Aaron coming to visit and a slight break from it all spending some time in the south. Unreal to think that only 8 months are left in my service. Here is hoping I get a lot done in a little time!

Having a friend visit is great for many reasons. These two years will have a deep impact on the rest of my life. How I see things, how I respond to things, what I want to do, where I want to go, and yet there are very few people that understand what these two years have been like. Even having Aaron here for a brief 10 days made me realize how difficult it is to convey my experiences...even to someone who is here in person. I suppose in general I need to apologize for not being able to share Benin with you, but believe me (or believe Aaron) it is not easy.

I think that the fact that I have so many conflicting (or seemingly so) feelings about Benin makes it even harder to express. I have often said how I feel like I am just surviving...not thriving...here and I must say that is still very true. For me I think it would take many more years to make that transition, though some volunteers already have, and I am not yet ready to make that commitment to Benin.

Surviving: Having to bargain for everything I buy, and probably paying way too much. Not being able to fluently communicate with the women and many men in my village. Lack of Christian fellowship. The sicknesses. The slow pace of work and life.

Thriving: Acclimated to no running water, no electricity, latrines, food, and french.

So there are some items in the surviving list that I still think possible to either move to the thriving side or at least remove from the surviving list. And I am thankful for the time I have had to think about ways of doing that. Routine is a life saver here, and helps with the 'surviving' but it is also dangerous. I could finish my service in the same routine I am in now and I would get a nice pat on the back for doing so at the end of it all. Routine, while helping with the surviving, hinders the thriving.

For a brief summary of what Aaron and I did for Christmas vacation...He got in late late, with no baggage (that was not intentional) and after spending a day down south he got one of his bags (the one for me), and then we headed up north to my post. The first day was spent in the national Park Penjari, where we saw lions, elephants, hippos and a variety of other deer like creatures. After that we just hung out at my post, played soccer, went swimming in Tanongou's waterfalls, went hiking to an even more remote village. Celebrated Christmas with my church, ate way too much goat and cliff bars. Lots of talking. Ate Chinese food and ice cream right before his flight. Picked up his final checked baggage at the airport before rechecking it for the flight home. And that was that.

A few more days off, then its back to village.

Hope to get a good report off to my advisor...that would make his day =).

Lots of love to everyone...there are pics of Aarons visit on Facebook.

Jer

Or so it has been said.

However I have come across a few questions that you never want to ask.

Why is there a scorpion in my shower?

Do preying mantis' attack people?

Did I take my malaria medication last week?

Is that snake deadly?

What just crawled across my leg?

Why is there a hole in my mosquito net?

Do bats attack people?

Did she wash her hands before she made my meal?

How many parasites do I have in my stomach?

Do baboons attack people?

The water I just drank came from where?

What meat is this? (when preceded by the question 'where is my cat?')

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

Jer.

Just for those of you who are starting to wonder if I am still there. Yup. Still am. And you? Are you still there?

Hope to be in town for Tnks Gvng. (Thats text message code for Thanksgiving). Looking forward to being able to come home in about 10 months (yup already counting), before that Aaron will be here for Christmas, that should break things up a bit. Contemplating a road-trip to Senegal after my service is ended. Wondering what life has for me after Peace Corps....oh yea thats right, I have to go back to school =).

Happy Holidays all.

What a week! And really, what a month! It has been amazing to see how well things have fallen into place, its almost like Someone else is in control. That being the case, I have no problems bragging about what I have not done.

After over a year of nothing but fantastic ideas of what a Masters project may look like the last week produced an array of community meetings, a NGO willing to provide financial support, and one very educated and motivated development consultant helping with technical details, on our planned fish-farm/animal raising/garden project. (And for the English majors reading the last sentence I apologize). Granted nothing has happened on the ground yet except listing the villagers interested in each particular project. (The next step will be to select a Pres. Sec. and Tres. for each group, sorting out some financial stuff, and then finally the actual labor of getting the fields ready. And as far as my project is concerned, getting equipment for measuring temp. evap. precip. and soil moisture....maybe I should save my apology to the English majors till the end). But at this point all the lights have turned green.

The 15th was World Hygiene Day, and having a specific day helped me set a deadline and get a hand washing demonstration set up for the school. Three workers from the health center plus myself went to the school to talk about hygiene and give a demonstration on how and why to use soap. (It went ok overall). But before that we had talked with the school directer and will set up hand washing stations (plastic bin filled with water and a spicket at the bottom...I have the buckets and spickets...just need to find some super glue) next to the latrines and the teachers will set up 'hygiene teams' that will make sure the latrines will be kept clean. (The latrines were installed just before I arrived in village, but all last year kept locked because the teachers didn't want them to get dirty.) So hopefully the kids will now start using the latrines and get in the habit of hand washing. The next step here is to get a hand washing station in the village where people eat and prepare food. I hope to focus on this hand washing thing for a while, it is simple, relatively cheap (the school agrees to provide a stand for the bucket and locally made soap), and important.

Though these are small steps, the fact that they are steps in the right direction has provided me with motivation, purpose, and an overall lifted spirit. I am excited for what is ahead...and it has been a while since I could have honestly typed that.

But I think all the above stuff is so amazing because it is the result of something greater. It is the result of God pursuing and loving me after I gave Him permission, through my own pursuing and loving, to get closer. Or something like that...not super easy to put into words.

Ok all for now, but if history is any indication I will be sitting on facebook all evening waiting for people to pop up so I can chat with them =). It's an addiction that I indulge in once every few weeks.

with Love,

Jeremy

Skype... for those of you technically savvy people, I now have a skype account!!!!! Not that I have internet often, but you never know.

my name is jeremy.m.jenson I'm not sure how it all works but I think you can request me to be one of your contacts. And I think its sort of like facebook in the more contacts I have the cooler I am. So please request me. =)

Funny that just now I begin to see that this is what Jesus is all about. Love. Love leading to Passion. Compassion. Pure Love. Love so big it removes fear, and leaves it no room. Defining Love. A Love resting outside of all things temporal and transient. Timeless Love. Unchanging Love.

"Living in the awareness of our belovedness is the axis around which the Christian live revolves. Being the Beloved is our identity, the core of our existence. It is not merely a lofty thought, an inspiring idea, or a name among many. It is the name by which God knows us and the way he relates to us." --- Brennan Manning

"Who am I? ... I am one loved by Christ." --- Thomas Merton

Once again I find myself more than a days journey from my village. A days journey from the village where hope rests. Hope for a masters project, hope for work, hope to make a difference. Over the past month I think I have spent close to 5 days in village and the rest in the south, this during a month that I had hopped would produce the first signs of a masters project. But health, rightfully so, comes before all of that, so I have little choice in the matter at this point.

On a brighter note I am starting to make plans for Aaron, who is coming to visit for Christmas this year. I looks as if Christmas will include a safari =). It is always nice to have something to look forward to and something to plan for.

Congrats to Mapleview church for their 50th anniversary, I wish I could be there for the celebration.

Unfortunately being away from post so long leaves little to write about here. After Tues. I hope to be traveling back to village. Harvest should be near and the famine close to an end, I hope to start finding fresh tomatoes in the market by the time I am back. Thats all for now

Jer

Once again I have left the few faithful followers with little more than bits of other peoples thoughts. I'll try.

The rainy season has arrived, at long last. But any other projects outside of direct work with the health center must be put on hold. The work in the field keeps everyone too busy for side projects. And the current lack of food keeps everyone's mind off the villages future needs and on the more pressing. The lack of work for the past few weeks has been difficult for me. But there is always hope.

Food is very seasonal here, especially up north and in the smaller villages. I find myself now in a very unfortunate season. The mangoes are gone as well as the papayas, apples, oranges, avocados, and pineapples are not grown as far north as me, the watermelon guy left town six months ago, tomatoes ... well I don't know where the tomatoes went. I can get onions, and just last week I had a banana, but that is the extent of my fruits and veggies (sorry mom). If I go to a bigger city I can find those vitamin packed morsels of delight, but not in village.

My cat had kittens. (for the second time). I am sending them away. Its better for both of us.

Back in Cotonou this week due to sickness, much better now. Never was much a fan of the southern part of Benin.

More and more I am becoming aware of some habitual beliefs that have snuck up on me and slowly taken over my thinking. Ideas such as:

God wants me to be godly

Suffering makes me godly

Therefore God wants me to suffer

So I don't go around saying 'God wants me to suffer', nor do I often think it, but my actions suggest it is my belief. If something makes me happy, gives me pleasure, I am immediately suspicious of it. Most of the time I will stress or worry about it so much as to squeeze all the pleasure out of it.

I have begun to develop an image of God which is not him at all. Yes, the suffering in this fallen world is often used by God, yet it is not his tool of choice nor is it his end goal, as a 'God wants me to suffer' attitude would have it.

But after spotting a discord like this, between beliefs and reality, the hardest part is to find the discipline to change behavior and accept the grace that is allotted in the meantime.

God wants to shower me with love more than a newlywed his bride.

He wants happiness for me more than a father for his son.

He wants peace for me more than a shepherd for his sheep.

How does that change things?

Later,

Jer

It was in May that the winds began to blow. The sea lion had grown used to wind, and at first he did not pay much heed at all. Years of desert life had taught him to turn his back in the direction from which the wind came and cover his eyes with his flippers, so that the dust would not get in. Eventually, the winds would always pass.

But not this time. Day and night it came, howling across the barren lands. There was nothing to stop its fury, nothing to even slow it down. For forty days and forty nights the wind blew. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. The sea lion lifted himself to have a look around. He could hardly believe his eyes.

Every single leaf had been stripped from his tree. The branches that remained, with only a twig or two upon them, looked like an old scarecrow. And I do not need to tell you that there was no longer any shade in which to hide. But worse than this, much worse indeed, was what the sea lion saw next. The water hole was completely dry.

John Eldredge in "The Journey of Desire"

Congrats to the new group of volunteers who just arrived here in Benin!

"...possibilities have wings, and our minds must take flight from thmeselves in order to follow them into the sky. If we live with possibilities we are exiles from the present which is given us by God to be our own, homeless and displaced in a future or a past which are not ours because they are beyond our reach. The present is our right place..."

---Thomas Merton "No Man is an Island"

This is what I get for starting to read a textbook on poetry, I try to get fancy.

Sunset

Hits savanna

Sets fire

Coloring bleeding

Covering evening skies

Evening rise

Rain, ash, smoke

Smothering to

Darkness

Ummm, I think I need to find something productive to do with my time. (Not gonna lie...i think the poem is pretty good)

Halfway through a book suggested to me by Waterbug. Great stuff, lots goes over my head but the stuff I do catch is pretty good. I'd like to find a good quote to put on there for you all to chew on but I failed to highlight or underline up to this point and flipping through haphazardly is doing nothing.

So whats life like now for me?

Well I think I'm finally starting to make Tanongou more of a home for me. It will never be, not when most of your friends talk to you only when they need money, not when you cant talk to over half the people in your village, no it will not be home, but at least I can try.

Church and soccer are two of the newer developments that have made my life more lifelike here. I have decided to regulary go to the chruch that is in our village, and regularly meet the guys out on the soccer field.

As far as my Masters project right now I am trying to avoid drowning in a sea of general information and a definite lack of detailed information. Currently working on a report to send to my advisor which will hopefully help him know whats going on and give him some hope.

I am realizing more and more I like geology work but not so much health work.

Partly because I have so little background in health I often feel so helpless. I see so much, most of which I just have no clue what the problem is, or what I could do to help.

Are my two options a broken heart or a hardened one? Well of the two, the first has got to be the better, but speaking of Joy, neither seem to lend themselves to Joy.

I will fight for Joy. I believe that in truth I have real joy, but I allow it to be beaten down to an unrecognizable and distant dream. But what if I refuse that? What if I take hold of Truth with both hands? What if I admit that Joy is right and good? I will fight for Joy.

Passed by Starbucks today. A small reminder of days gone by. Mercy Ships are in Benin until December and one of their amenities is a Starbucks. Not a bad deal if you want to work in international missions without leaving your coffee behind. Though I should be making sure I have everything ready for my trip up north tomorrow morning I will first fill your life with my ramblings, all the while hoping some of my friends will pop up in my facebook chat window. Tomorrow is Pentecost. And though as a result I should probably flavor my blog posts to that end, yet for those of you going to "The Rock" tonight or already went this morning will probably get a better fill of that than I could offer. And those who didn't go...should talk to someone who did.

I suppose a blog, like a toast, is no place to give a challenge, and I'm not quite sure what is welcome in a blog. What do you expect when you read this? Stories, probably, maybe more fables...stories with a moral. I wish Aesop wrote some of those choose your own adventure stories. Depending on your choices you get a different moral. Maybe the rabbit does not take that nap and beats the turtle. Lesson? We are all given different gifts, be happy and excel in what God has given you.

My fable for today...well I will just skip to the Moral...I know it might not be what you came for, but like I say I should make sure I'm ready to go tomorrow.

2 Chronicles 7:14 ... my lesson: Humility is a necessary part of seeking and finding God. I would even say imperative, that is if I were sure of what imperative meant. If nothing else, if I want to find God, it will cost me my Pride. I can search without being aware of the cost or even willing to pay it, but if I avoid the sacrifice of pride every time it is afforded me, I will not find God.

The reason I say this is because today I set out to find God, and before I knew it the path led to a demand for my pride. I did not immediately see the result of "finding God" through this act of humility which aided in my refusal to sacrifice. But now I see and now we will see how much I really want to find God.

Wish you were here

or

I was there

but

not both

Here I am back in Benin, with all the thoughts and feelings of a visit home swirling in my mind, wishing I was someone else. Being someone else means that I would either be somewhere else, or at least be a person more suited to the situation that I am in. I know in principle at least how lucky I am to be here, and I know in principle that me being here is no mistake. Yet I know personally so many people that would excel if they were in my same shoes. People that would grow in patience joy, love and compassion by what they see and the challenges they face...and overcome. But I'm here and they are not, so where do I go from there?

As you might have noticed my blog has suffered from a bit of a makeover. Maybe my thoughts are that a new look will change things. If only it were that easy to shake the thoughts and worries that plague me from months past. If only it were that easy to arouse change within my soul and body. Can you hear the click of the mouse? *Click*... assertive *Click*... patient *Click* ... compassionate *Click*... joyful *Click*... disciplined. (And those qualities were not picked at random).

So here I am with only Hope left, while Faith and Love are left teetering on the edge. I would not call it a "crisis of faith" or love, because what comes to the surface now is only what was always there in the depths and that can't be a crisis, just a realization.

This post is not meant to be depressing, just honest. This is where I am starting...or restarting from. Just not sure where the finish line is.

Back at post tomorrow after a long week and a half away. I am afraid I have forgotten what village life is like, and admit I have mixed feelings about going back. As usual, I assume after a day in Tanongou I will feel at home there.

The plan for a visit home is now in the works, and even a little further along than that. 7th to the 28th of May. Yea I know its soon. So if anybody wants to hang out, I'll be at one of a variety of coffee shops, unfortunately without a working cell phone and possibly without a car. Just ask people where the american is...well...maybe that only works here.

Thank you,

For all the people who sent me a package over the summer. I just got it =). Turns out when you address it solely to the Peace Corps, they open it...but when the letters inside are all addressed to "Ping" it sits in the office and gets forgotten. But! It was a nice surprise and it finally got to me. Some of the candy was a little stale, but the letters are always most important.

Also, got the recorded messages, awesome might I add. Thanks to all who were able to do that.

Jer

I suppose I owe the faithful followers of my post something of substance. I usually don't like writing before hand as my emotions change so often the things I say will not be true by the time I post. Yet if I wait till I have internet, time constrains my expressions. Today I have time, not yet internet, so I will try and spill a little of my thoughts here in my journal. As mentioned earlier, my emotions change frequently and are often a product of my surroundings. That being said, my surroundings are this: Its Feb 4th, last week was a busy one and a cold one. This week calm and hot. As a result I am sitting with my feet in the river, facing our villages waterfall. Moments ago a group of monkeys passed over the falls, jumping from tree to tree silhouetted by a half-moon. All the while I am wondering why my camera is not with me. As I write, the monkeys have gone and a group of baboons traces the same steps, jumping on the same branches but straining them much more. And the baboons rest, after chasing the last of the monkeys and birds from the trees, on the edge of the cliff of the waterfall, watching silently me and two new tourists who have arrived. Apparently we aren't that interesting, as evidenced by their quick disappearance.

So thats the mood (bright birds, monkeys, Baboons, waterfalls and tourists) that is coloring my entry.

I met with the President again today, happened to pass by Obama's house and decided to say high. (Obama was born on U.S. election day this past November).

If possible I will be home for a visit in May. I'll let you know details if it gets to the details part.

The buisyness of last week included Sensiblizations, vaccinations, and lots of future planning. It seems like I might be able to find work here after all. Living in a small village has mande some things difficutl (Imagine a world with out cell service!) but I will have to learn to work around it in order to find projects, or accomplish them.

I went to church for the 1st time while at post, but havn't been back. Ill admit the 10k bike ride is the biggest deturent.

I found a new interest in drawing, art, and the like.

Its hard to think of how much time I will be spending here, but its also hard to believe how much time has already gone by. Time has gone by fast, although not all the time...

Perspective: I think this is one of the valuable gifts that PC gives to its volunteers. There is the cultural perspective (not everyone thinks the same way) and the Life perspective (not everyone can persue/choose knowledge, wealth, fame, and friends like we do/can in the states.

Learning to be rich. I never thought the PC would teach me this. But here I am the wealthiest person within 35k or at least the one with the most dispsosable income. And its hard to hide when your skin color informs everyone of this fact.

Add to the list of good eats: Spitting cobra and waterbuffalo

There is a B&B next door to me, its an ecotourism thing.

Its now night time (I left the falls) and I'm in my house and sweating.

Africa moment: After hiking an hour up a mountain (with my moto helmet) then taking a moto which was wating for me, giving a health talk to kids then parents, watching a dance the kids prepared for me, I realized on the moto ride back to the mountain trail (holding the Chicken they had given me for a gift...I'm in Africa

Africa moment 2: At sunrise, on the back of a moto holding a cooler with vaccines while the driver yells at a troop of baboons that are headed towards the mountains after hearing us approach.

Whew...I just got a bunch of letters. Thanks all. Houghton, Temecula, and San Diego. Miss you all

Jer

Still alive, and a slight request for some of you out there. I have been intrigued by the possibility of writing actual letters...real bonified letters. But that would mean I need addresses. So if you get the chance and could send me via e-mail your actual mailing address, I would be happy to send you a letter. Ok so its not that exciting of a reward, but heck its not that hard for you to e-mail me your address either.

Have fun out there, trust God and know that by just living...whether you want to or not...or you think you are or not...you are giving Him immeasurable glory and bringing to fruition His wonderful will.

Life is life here, gotten used to latrines, bucket showers, and candles. And that was the easy part! Starting to get used to the other aspects of life, work and social...all those fun things. Ate some baboon the other day...that was cool...finally gave into chicken feet, that wasn't so cool. I really don't know what to write in these things. I'm better with letters.

I'm going to try and visit home over the summer, (yea 4 months here will change your resolve) but no promises, its not up to me. Holy cow...almost 4 months already...time flies...

For those who know the camp song...little by little...that about summs up life for me here. Miss you all.

Jer

So if all goes well I will have new photos in my Picasa account in the next few minutes. Getting ready to go to post. Will be staying there without cell reception and internet for the next 3 months so communication may be a bit limited...even more so.

So life...life is good, Officially swore in as a PCV today!

Ran over my first chicken on my bike, it just came out of nowhere. Poor guy.

Visited my post, its pretty great. Except I'm inheriting to pregnant cats...hmmm not sure what I think about that. But also inheriting a french press...that is good.

By the way, I do have a phone, its a little sketch with the reception but it works. And also fyi I don't have anyones number (lack of planning and memorization skills) so don't be afraid to e-mail it, or if you want mine send me an e-mail and I will do my best to get it there.

I also got a guitar here in country, help keep me sane. What else.... check out the pics, enjoy. The next 3 months are going to be pretty crazy...no english speakers, no running water, and no electricity...but wait...I suppose thats going to be the next 2 years. Yikes!

For everyone getting back to the normal school schedule and such, good luck with life outside of camp, summer vacation or all the other joys of summer.

Gotta go. Good luck.

Jeremy

A week full of adventure...saw my first baby being born in person and had my first taste of bush rat...and no, not at the same time. But one of the two might have had an interesting reaction to my intestinal tract. Which is why I am currently at the PC office typing on their computer. So I'll stay the night here then back to my host family and our training tomorrow.

Wow is French ever hard! But its going, little by little. I got my post announcement just this past week. I will be in the NorthWest of the country near one of the National Parks. Really an amazing place to spend the next 2 years. I couldn't be happier. Although I wish I could e-mail you each individually, I just don't think time will allow for that right now, but know that I am thinking and praying for you, in China, Michigan, Cali, Minnesota, Nicaragua, Honduras or other nitches of our world.

Oh and if any of you are interested in visiting me...well just let me know and lets work something out! (Did I mention my post is by a waterfall!)

Miss you all

Jeremy

Hey everyone!!!! Ok, so I’m writing this Wednesday night in expectation that I will have internet tomorrow (fingers crossed!!!). Before anything else let me thank those who have been thinking and praying about and for me, right now the biggest struggle for me has been two fold. On the practical side I need to learn French, its coming but I would like it to come quicker. Its hard not to communicate well with my host family and prevents me from learning a local language as well. (and by the way I have a really awesome host family). On the not so practical level I need to learn to trust. If I have been brought this far would God ever forsake me? Has he ever failed any one of his children? Its amazing how much I doubt despite a deep deep history of faithfulness. So I haven’t even taken one picture yet (sorry mom), but Benin is really a great place. We have yet to really explore the rural areas but the city is bustling with motos and street venders. On Saturday we take our first field-trip to a village in order to get some hands on baby-weighing experience. Should be keen. I can’t believe its going to be two years, it seems like forever but I know it will seem way too short by the end of all of this. Just one day at a time =). In a few weeks we find out where exactly we will be, which is exciting, a good way to stay focused on the goal amidst the initial months of training. Despite how frustrating these firsts few months are, before I get to post, they are absolutely necessary. For me not just in a technical way, (learning French and such) but also for the sake of patience and perseverance. Good lessons to learn when working in this business. So please pray for people and for hearts, for mine and those around me, for Benin and the wonderful people who call this country home

Just wanted to say HI, and I made it. So far so good...not much to say, Benin is cool, wish you all could come and visit.

Jeremy

Here we go! Last night in the Hotel of West Philly (and for you Fresh Prince fans I know...pretty awesome). Tomorrow we embark on the journey to Benin!!!! Or continue our journey that is =). I've been encouraged by the e-mails (if you didn't get one let me know and I will make sure you are on the list). Already my camp experience has come in handy as a group of us had to do a skit, and for those of you remember the British accent came back even though it had nothing to do with the skit.

I propose a toast...

To Love, Faithfulness, and Trust

to being who we are and giving Him the rest

"I've have been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do"--Georgia O'Keeffe

A special thanks to everybody for making my last few days so memorable. I hope you guys all know how much I will miss you and how much I will think of you while I am away (and that includes everyone from Houghton as well!) Don't be afraid to leave comments on this blog or send me e-mails, I may not be able to respond to them as consistently as I would like but am still eager to hear how your lives are doing. See you all later!

So its settled, sort of.

June 30 San Diego to Philly via Texas.

July 3rd and 4th Philly to Cotonou, Benin via Paris.

Sector: Rural Community Health

Job Title: Community Health Adviser

Job Description: Advising Rural Communities on Health... (ok so I got more specifics than that but lets just keep it general for now)

I'm making some last minute REI runs, waiting to order my Chaco shoes and sandals, getting paperwork lined up ... power of attorney, prayer cards, immunization records and all that jazz, staring at (as opposed to learning) French and Hydrology papers, hitting up every possible coffee shop in San Diego County...I gotta get my fix! getting anxious! Holy Wahh! This is so crazy! I feel like the luckiest guy ever. Gotta keep focused...why am I here...why am I going there...

Last night in Lake Park, MN. Tomorrow morning I will be leaving for Minneapolis to spend the weekend with the infamous Don then its Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, and finally good old Cali. My comfort on the road will be Colbie and Relient K, thanks to Paul and Monique! Its times like these that I realize my music collection is far from adequate. =( No use lamenting now.

Benin is closer than ever. 31 DAYS! Its hard to believe and although I could already list all the issues I will probably struggle with, I am excited beyond belief. This is more than an experience. This is my life, this is what I want, and I am pretty sure God is Ok with it. I wish all my motivations were pure and altruistic, centered on God's purposes and His people, but they are not. There is a hint of good motives surrounded by the stench of a load of other thoughts. The faithfulness of God leads me to believe that this experience will, through some painful surgery, bring about a cleansing. I don't believe those self centered motives can survive for two years, or if they do it will be because of much fighting on my part. So my role?...Same as it always is, surrender.

Has it come to this? Does Fargo, North Dakota count as civilization? With internet and a coffee shop I argue that it does. At the corner of Main and Broadway sits Babb's Coffee House. "elttaeS fo etsat a..." is their motto...although it may more accurately be read "a taste of Seattle..." if one were sitting outside the shop. Well for me it is a taste of San Diego and a taste of home.

Speaking of such, I should be home June 5th and look forward to seeing friends, family, and the sun. Spring is nearly here and not a moment too soon. The naked trees are now scantily clad with shades of green and the afore mentioned sun is no longer embarrassed to turn its gaze toward them. (Take that R.W. Emerson!) Sigh.

There are several reasons I like coffee shops. One they help avoid feelings of loneliness, you always have a friend when you tip a Barista! They usually have chill music. Often fewer distractions allow for higher productivity. And internet.

Thoughts on Peace Corps? Well not really. I have a nasty habit of looking forward. When in SD I looked forward to MI, when in MI I looked forward to PC and now that PC is almost here I am looking forward to life after PC. This can't be good! Not a healthy pattern. Not that I don't enjoy the time I spend but it is always a means to an end. Hmm...just a thought.

See you all soon.

Not one of my strong points. I was hoping to keep this updated more than I have but I must admit it is more difficult than I first had thought. Better late than never I suppose.

I will be back in SD sometime in Mid May. Time enough to hang out with at least those who check up on this blog =). I'm looking forward to driving back. I will be taking my time more than I have in the past. Taking a different route as well. Going down through Colorado this time. Hmm, better get used to adventures huh?

Although I have had little time to reflect on my time here at MTU and look forward to my summer and PC experience I am hoping that the trip back to SD will be a chance for that.

Being a Christian is strange. I need to pursue Christ more. I've pursued Peace Corps, School, Girls, Church, Righteousness, Bible Studies, and Ministry...all to varying amounts of success and with varying degrees of intensity. But after all that I still have to ask myself how much I have pursued Christ. In reality the list of my pursuits should be encompassed by my pursuit of Christ and, to the extent that He enables, my pursuit of the Father.

What was God thinking when he chose us? Didn't He know that we would be sooooooo inadequate?

Not that I ever write here anymore, but as I am recovering from a week long battle with the flu I decided to make the official announcement that I am traveling to BENIN! West Africa, starting from July 1st and continuing for the next 2 years of me life. Time to learn French!

I got my first Beard-cicles today. Nordic-skiing...in 9 degree temperature, pretty cool. (sorry no new pics, I will work on that.)

Yes there is snow everywhere. And it turns out I will be home for x-mas, I come in the 24th. Life's great, miss you all.

I hate to say it but this is a condition present 99% of the time (+/- 1%).

Now when I speak of "the World" I exclude the individual but rather emphasize the rulers, the powers, the world forces of this darkness, and the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (see Eph. 6:12) We are not to see this struggle as one against people. That would crush the spirit of evangelism and argue against our own salvation, from the wickedness and rebellion that we ourselves were rescued from.

I have been brought up in the knowledge of this situation but often lived unaware of the reality of it. It seems that contemporary Christianity falls in this same category. Desiring evidence of this divine rift, the smallest injustices done to the Church in America are proclaimed on the pedestals and pulpits of protestant churches across the land. "HA!" they say, "The World does hate us!" "See here, they won't let us pass out Christian pamphlets on a secular campus!" "They won't let us have a Jesus Parade downtown!" "This world is truly against us!"

The reason I pick on the American Church is partly because the evidence of a divine rift is wholly apparent in other parts of the world, so this struggle is either altogether absent, or overshadowed by more pressing issues.

Admittedly the Church of Christ is global and to say "American Church" is to do an injustice to the Body of Christ, so let me clarify that when I refer to the "American Church" I am referring to the condition of the Church in America.

So the American Church could rightfully site the injustices overseas in order to justify the church's "perceived inadequacies" but it usually does not...which is interesting in in itself.

I digress...

I believe the sad irony of our situation is that the scampering for evidence of this rift is a result of a momentary victory of this world and therefore evidence of the rift itself.

Bear with me for a moment...

If our (the American Church) sole desire is to know Christ, to be found in Him, to be conformed to His image, and to love...to love unconditionally...God and People...well then we will see it! We will see that everything in this horribly evil world is set against this purpose, the very system, the "American Dream" the technology the money the power, it is designed to distract and discourage a life of devotion to Christ and His Call. When the aforementioned purpose becomes our focus and our essence, then this world is set against us, who we are and what we stand for! We do have victory in Christ, to be sure, and we have a divine hope of Heaven where we can live in a World whose purpose will align with ours. How glorious.

Although I wish I could point out a single item that is causing the Church in America to miss this point, I can't.

Do we desire a righteousness of our own or the Righteousness of Christ? Do we desire to be justified by our ministries, our busyness, our persecutions? Or by Christ? At the end of our life do we want to be assured that we were Spiritually mature or assured that we were sinners saved by the magnificent grace of God.

I wish I knew how to get this way, how to get this heart, but maybe thats the trick...there is no trick. Just Christ, and when that becomes enough...well...that will be good and that will be right.

Just FYI for those who didn't know and a reward for those who were willing to read the above diatribe

So I have to write a paper on my proposed research.

Why is it that after listing some technical skills first I find "experiencing, maturing, and serving" are more important than all of that? Still the question remains if I am disciplined and determined enough to accomplish any of this.

Disciplined and Determined...but what will be the focus? Disciplined for what purpose? Determined to accomplish what? I gave up my plans to Christ. To be determined to do, accomplish, or learn anything flowing from my own mind seems to toe the line of blasphemy. True, if God gives me a specific vision, well then I can be Determined toward that end. But even now at MTU 2,500 miles from everything familiar, I found myself sure of what God had for me. I was rudely awakened. I can't say I will go in the Peace Corps, I can't say that it is His plan for me, nor do I want to. If I would have made a similar statement a year ago it would NOT have included MTU, Inter-Varsity, or Awana at a small baptist church. It would NOT have included snow in October, soccer in the rain, or apple-pressing.

Christ loves me more than I can love myself. Would I dare place my ideas in front of His? I will be Disciplined and Determined to know Christ to seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness. Anything else is a burden I have not been asked to bear, and a burden that Christ does not promise to help bear.

I am listening to a Switchfoot song right now...the first part goes something like this...

"Let That Be Enough"

I wish I had what I needed

To be on my own

'Cause I feel so defeated

And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless

And I have no plans

I'm a plane in the sunset

With nowhere to land

And all I see

It could never make me happy

And all my sand castles

Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me

Let me know Your touch

Let me know that You love me

And let that be enough...

Its getting late and I need to go scrape the ice off my windshield so I can drive home. My prayers are with everyone affected by the fires. I heard good news regarding camp, and all of the valley for that matter. Miss you all.

Jer

Thy Way Is Perfect

Long is the way, and very steep the slope;

Strengthen me once again, O God of Hope.

Far, very far, the summit doth appear;

But Thou art near, my God, but Thou art near.

And Thou wilt give me with my daily food,

Powers of endurance, courage, fortitude.

Thy way is perfect; only let that way

Be clear before my feet from day to day.

Thou art my Portion, saith my soul to Thee,

Oh, what a Portion is my God to me!

---Amy Carmichael

Life is rolling along, I still love school but am starting to get behind on some items. I have had the curse of over comitting myself, and when I have time, I rarely spend it wisely. Recently my two vices have been a new "Game Cube" that one of my house mates got and on the opposite end of the spectrum "Cannery Row" by John Steinbeck or "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Today I tossed the idea of getting a PhD around in my head. It felt pretty good. There is so much I want to learn and so much I don't know, it seems hard to stop after just a few years.

This past week could be summarized by a few different dining experiences. The first was at the house of one of our church families. They graciously invited me over for dinner, an offer which I eagerly accepted. The menu included a curry dish and a Ethiopian pancake type dish. (Three of their children are adopted from Ethiopia which gives reason for the latter.) Wonderful. Also quite memorable was playing soccer with their kids. (in the rain and barefoot)

Second food related memory...Houghton has a bum parade...yup...a bum parade...well I guess technically it is a "hobo parade" but I'm not one for semantics. Its a very Non-PC homecoming tradition. (I have my reserves about the moral implications of a parade where rich kids dress up like bums.) Pictures will be up soon. Anyways, the long of the short of it is that I ate three hot dogs that have been saying their au' revoirs for the past three days. That's one a day...not bad!

The final and more pleasant experience happened today. Miriam is a PhD student from Colombia in the Geo-department. I was walking home to fix some lunch when I ran into her and was able to get a home cooked Colombian meal. Once again, wonderful.

I will attempt to be more disciplined in writing to you all and less disciplined in practicing my Mario Soccer skills.

Love you all,

Jer

She is beautiful, intriguing, mysterious, and charming.

Her name?

"The Upper Peninsula"

Today was a beautiful day.

Walking the pebbly shore of lake Superior in the morning and driving down side roads full of autumn colors in the afternoon, my heart was hers before the sun set over the bright mottled hills.

Ok maybe I am being a little over expressive, but I realized this morning that I could live here and like it. Of course, this is before winter.

Whats new? I am learning how to hunt (I shot a gun for the first time!), I am learning how to be disciplined (not as fun as it sounds), and I am re-learning how to ride a bike.

I will be helping out with the Awana club at my church, I like being back with kids. I'm just a helper and won't be teaching which is also good for me. The time and patience to teach was lost somewhere back in San Diego and may take a while to find.

So long,

Jeremy,

aka Ping,

aka Jer,

aka Handsome,

Today is definitely a lazy day. it is 3:00 and I have yet to leave the house. But on the bright side I put some pictures up! Most of them are from an Inter-Varsity photo scavanger hunt that we had last night. Pretty fun and cool to see the different parts of the peninsula. I wish there were more excititng things happening here but...nope.

I came to the realization today that it is much easier to wash lights and darks together, it saves time and soap and the results are the same. Unfortunately, it took 4 years for me to figure this out.

Oh and by the way I also realized that Starbucks charges way too much. All the coffee shops around here (and believe me, I have visited most) charge a dollar for a cup of coffee, have free interenet, and free refills. Hmm, something doesn't seem right.

The final realization for today...just because it is sunny outside does NOT mean that it is warm...not in the least.

Till next time...