So if you have been keeping up to date on my goings on, (you better be!) you will know that for the last couple months of my service I decided to work at the local Catholic Primary school in my village. I wanted to have drawing/art classes with the kids since creativity is a bit lacking in Togolese schools.

How Togo's schools run are completely different than American schools. You will find first and second graders simply repeating over and over words or phrases the teacher tells them to say. If you ask what the word or phrase means however, the kids have no clue they just parrot what they hear.

Kids simply have a chalkboard to look at. They copy everything that is written down since we have no electrcity or copy machines. Whenever I write anything on the board, the kids will instantly take out their notebooks and start copying, I have to assure them they don't need to write anything, but just take the time to understand what I am teaching.

As far as creativity, there are no art projects for upcoming holidays, most kids don't even own a box of crayons. Art is simply copying what the teacher draws and if it isn't exact it is not "right" and when it is not right, the teacher beats them with a stick.

Now that I am in charge of drawing classes I walk around to see how the kids are doing with their wokr, I don't yell at kids for drawing the way they want to, and I defintely don't hit them. the other day a male teacher walked into my class and looked at people's drawings and starting hiting these 5 year old girls in the face for not drawing straight lines. This same man walked into my class the other day and beat kids who did not go to the farm and work the day before (there is a manual labor day in Togolese schools), and he did this while I was in the middle of my class, so afterwards I had kids crying and upset. I called the teacher over and I told him to never enter my class again when I am in the middle of teaching and he kind of chuckled and walked out. I even talked to the director of the school who told me that he personally doesn't want that teacher here, but there is no one available to replace him.

Spending each day at school, spending time with the kids is something I really love to do and I wish that i had done it since the beginning, but it is challenging when I see something I don't think is right and to try to have patience. When I do say something I often hear: "You don't understand Africa," or "Africa is like that."

So now I am doing my best to try to help these kids and to give them time to draw and do art projects and learn and just be kids. I am giving each of them goodie bags with stickers, crayons, pencils pens, etc, and some backpacks and pencil cases.

Now i am in Lome trying to finish up some work and then I will head back to village.

It has been a while since I have posted anything, now that everyone (including grandma) has Facebook. I just finished with my closing of service medical exams and my plane ticket has been paid for. All that is left is Alphonse's ticket and tie up some loose ends.

I will be sad to leave Togo, especially now that I am the art teacher at the Catholic Primary school. It is so much fun! I wish I had done it sooner! I am pretty tired out though, I really do miss home and I think about it all the time.

The other night I asked Alphonse how he was feeling about coming to America soon. He is really excited and sad at the same time. He has a lot to learn about our culture and our country. He doesn't even know what a toaster is or why anyone would need one. I can't wait to see his reaction to the US!

I am going back to village today, take care everyone!

Lomé Artisan Fair

Today Alphonse and I took the time to visit the artisan fair in Lomé that was run by some Peace Corps volunteers. There were artists from all over the country there to promote their work. They had some beautiful silver jewelry, like earrings, bracelets, and rings and then there were artists selling their batik fabrics. One man has this beautiful batik of village huts of all different colors that I am going to order from him before I leave Togo, another batik artist made Obama batik with the president’s face on it. A woman was selling batik bags, sandals, clothes, ties, stuffed animals, etc. There were also woven fabrics, painted cards and calabashes, and there were some woodwork such as sculptures and masks. Alphonse and I took the time to wish everyone luck in selling their work and I took some pictures. My posters that I designed are hung up all over Lomé and they also made some large banners and T Shirts.

Wedding Updates and Such

Alphonse and I did not just come to Lomé for the artisan fair, but we are also trying to get all of the wedding plans and purchases made before we head back to village. We are almost finished.

So far:

- ordered and paid for our rings that will be silver with mine saying Alphonse and his saying Jessica

- turned in most of the documentation for the marriage certificate, still missing 2 things that we will turn in later, we paid for the certificate and the stamps already along with confirming the date

- we went to a bakery and picked out the cake we want, a volunteer is buying it for us as our wedding gift

- found a picture of the kind of dress I want made, it is a vintage style dress and it will be yellow and white, I gave it to the seamstress and paid for it, the yellow material for the dress was a gift from Alphonse’s aunt

- a tailor went with Alphonse to a boutique and bought his material for his tux, black and white with a tie made out of the same yellow material as my dress and paid it

- decided to have the reception on the roof of Alphonse’s uncle’s house. Yves, Alphonse’s cousin decorates for celebrations as a hobby, so tomorrow he is coming to take a look at where we are going to have it and he tells me he loves Alphonse and me so much he is going to make it spectacular!

- went to the US embassy for all information needed for the visa for Alphonse, we have an appointment on Tuesday

- went to the market and bought Alphonse’s shoes

- discussed the menu for the reception, family members are helping us cook the food

- found a car to use

- discussed prices for photos and video

What is left:

- I need to buy shoes

- paying for the food

- finish the paperwork for town hall

- set aside money to get my hair done

- pay for photos and film

- find a DJ

So far, so good, we have about 7 weeks left!

I love you all xoxoxo!

The entrance to the artisan fair with my banner.

One of the artists selling his painted calabashes.

Alphonse looking at the batik fabric.

Somehow I missed last year's Togbui Zikpe ceremony. Togbui Zikpe is Ewe, "Togbui" means "chief" and "Zikpe" means "chair." That is what the whole thing is about, a small wooden chair that has been with the village for generations and holds spirits. (Kinda similar to the Voodoo type of spirit meaning animal sacrifices and such.)

The chair is pretty small in scale and is more like a U-shaped bench. It is necessary to do this ceremony for Togbui Zikpe because you must thank it for answering your prayers from last year, and pray again for this year. People often ask for rain for the fields, good profits from their businesses and even to succeed on school exams. They also ask it to guard their village against enemies. For your prayers you must give the Togbui Zikpe gifts such as sheep, goats, whiskey, hand woven cloth, etc.

When I saw the ceremony it reminded me of the Voodoo Fete in the nieghboring village (see Gri Gri, Coupe Coupe)

This ceremony is 2 days, they start with covering the Togbui Zikpe in white cloth. There is a woman who also wears a white cloth and she carries the Togbui Zikpe on her head and runs out into the forest with a group of followers. There are drums that play non stop by some elders of the village.

When the woman returns with the chair she has guards escort her there with white painted sabers. They place the chair on a mat and cover it with woven cloth that are gifts and bottles of whiskey are placed beside it. The man in charge of the ceremony, takes sips of the whiskey and spits it out onto the chair.

They take the animals for the sacrifices (in this case a chicken and a ram,) kill them and use the blood mixed with corn flour as an offering to Togbui Zikpe.

After, the people cook the meqt from the sacrifices and all the participants eat it, even me. If we didnt eat all the food that would be bad luck. We kept calling children over to help.

This is where the man is about to put the chair on the head of the woman who will take it into the woods.

The drummers.

The woman is coming back from the woods with her guards holding the sabers.

The women with the chicken that is to be sacrificed.

The men praying to Togbui Zikpe and the ram that will be sacrificed.

The men mixing the blood of the ram with the cornflour.

The poster I recently designed for an artisan fair here in Togo. A fellow Peace Corps volunteer asked me to help him out with his project. The fair will include batikm weavers, etc and should be a lot of fun.

There is a big difference between the Voodoo festivals in larger towns here in Togo where there are numerous tourists with their cameras ready to really “understand” the culture, and the small villages where only select people attend. Last August I visited the more public festivities and was only mildly impressed. It was more of a theatrical performance.

Recently I was exposed to the more private and serious side to Voodoo practices. My village specifically is more of a Christian dominated population, whereas its neighbor, is more Animist/Voodoo dominated. I decided because it might be my only time to have this experience (even though I was slightly terrified of what might happen) I attended.

It all starts with drums, covered in red fabric and white shells. They hit them with their hands and with curved wooden sticks, they tune them and put water in them to keep the animal skinned coverings from drying out.

Then a group of villagers, wearing white cloth, begin singing and dancing something similar to the chicken dance. They wear bracelets on their ankles, arms, necks, their faces covered in white baby powder and blue paint. They sing in Ewe, their words vibrate against the drumming, it feels like the earth is moving.

Then the moment comes when the Voodoo spirit takes over one of the singers and their arms start flailing around and they start to speak some other language, their body twitches and they drag their toes across the ground. Some walk around and shake the hands of their audience and dance, I am not sure how they can move their feet so quickly.

They sacrifice chickens and goats and they wear dried animal blood covered clothing. They paint images of coupe-coupes on their temple walls. They bend and touch their toes before the elders in respect, who in turn bow or put up their fingers in a sort of peace sign.

From about 11 AM until 6 AM the next day they dance and sing and sacrifice. They drink bottles of Sodabi (alcohol) filled with dead snakes. I am not sure how they could dance so long and not be tired.

I saw it for an evening before deciding enough was enough. It is a very interesting experience and it is something that would be impossible to forget. That is one of the good things about Peace Corps. You are not a tourist, you have lived in a small community for a time and the villagers actually consider you a part of their family and you can really get a taste of how people live.

I just got back from a meeting about how we are to go about our EAP or Emergency Action Plan in case there is some sort of problem with the presidential elections. We have to stay at our posts just to be on the safe side so if you do not hear from me for a while, that is why, but do not worry! I hope everyone is doing okay. xoxo

This year I collaborated with a volunteer in a nearby village to do a World AIDs Day activity. We went through the Peace Corps Partnership program to raise money to fund it. We decided to do a two day soccer tournament girls vs girls and boys vs boys from our villages. During the beginning of the match and at half time we would hold sensibilisations about HIV/AIDs and prevention along with distributing condoms.

We bought uniforms for all the kids from the middle school, 2 soccer balls, etc that now belong to the schools for future students and future soccer games. Ther girls team from my village won and the boys from the other volunteer's village one. It was a pretty stressful project, but I think it went pretty well and the other volunteer was great to collaborate with. Here are some pictures of the event.

The two girls' teams holding the banner I made and they paraded around the village to get people to come out and watch the match.

The girls singing and dancing before the match began.

My girls together after winning the math 1-0!

Me in the lounge today happy that I got all my work done. xoxo

I have been in Lome for a couple days working on a manual based on what was taled about in our Training of Trainers (TOT) about how to get girls interested in math and science. It turned out pretty good and it was nice to do some sort of graphic design related work, even if it was just simple layout.

I also went to the trainee site and talked about different ethnicities here in Togo and how as a volunteer, may effect your work. I think it went pretty well considering that all the trainees are reaching the end of training and are a bit tired out.

I am going to go back to village soon, I am missing everyone.

Love you guys, I'll probably be near a computer again in the beginning of December.

Me at the Girls in Science and Math training of trainers.

So as some of you may know, I have a small village savings and loan group in my village. We have about 20 members who meet every other Friday in the morning. Every meeting, people buy shares and we put it in a locked box and people can borrow money to start up projects or businesses with the promise to pay it back with interest.

One of our members is named Afi Lima. I just call her Lima. She is a middle aged woman with 8 children, all of which are grown up now. There are 7 girls and 1 boy. All of her children stay in Ghana.

One day at a VS&L meeting, the group told me that Lima has a bad toothache and that she would not be coming that day. For me and for many, a toothache is no cause of alarm really and it happens to many of us at some point.

After the reunion I decided to go and see her and ask how she was doing. At the time though her nieghbor said she was asleep so I figured I would do it later.

Later became 2 weeks later when I heard that they put her in the health clinic. I had no idea at the time how severe the problem was. I went to see her and I didn't even recognize her. This big happy woman was now some skeletal, frail person in the bed. In an instant I sat beside her and said hello and she didn't even know who I was and she couldn't talk due to the infection going into her throat. They hooked her up to an IV of antibiotics, but I saw her and I knew the unlikeliness of her recovering.

The day after I saw her I was visited by some villagers who told me that she had died the night before. I knew she was in bad shape, but I still couldn't believe it. How could a perfectly healthy woman die from a toothache?

The fineral was last weekend and I spoke at the funeral in her memory telling everyone that Lima was such a happy and kind person, she was like sunshine. I cried in the cemetary with the villagers when they put her in the ground. I talked to her daughters who came from Ghana and was very sad for them.

I miss Lima a lot she was such a good person. We are really lucky as Americans to have good doctors and equipment and even health insurance. Togo lacks a lot in those aspects, especially in small villages like mine.

It has been a long time since I have written, figuring out what to say takes time and getting to a post office is an adventure in itself. I have been here for almost 14 months now, and there is so much to describe, I am not even sure where to start. It is the same thing with my online journal, it takes a long time before I post anything.

To describe what it is like in Togo, I kind of picture it like something similar to how people lived back in the day. I live simply, I do not have electricty or a telephone, I have a cell, but no good signal in village. People live in mud brick houses with straw roofs. We get water from a pump or from wells and we cook using charcoal or wood. Most people in my village are farmers. Every morning they leave for the field and plant corn, beans, yams, and various other fruits and vegetables. I have even spent some time helping pull the corn kernels off the cob and dry them in the sun, then heading to the miller to make cornflour.

Sundays everyone dresses up and go to church. We have a Catholic, Baptist, and Pentecoste church in my village alone. Missionaries have defintely influenced the lives of Africans and their culture. Friday afternoons there are kids who play soccer and women sell food.

When the afternoons are hot, people rest underneath the big tree in the center of the village. All day you see women and children carrying big basins of water on their heads, which I have tried, and it hurts! They have been doing it since they were very small and have no trouble balancing the heavy load without using their hands like they have mastered the law of gravity.

There are many good days, there are some bad days, but if things are difficult I realize my service is not very long, and that it is important to continue.

Africa, the natural world here is beautiful and the sky is huge! Sometimes I see a plane overhead and wonder if it is going to America.

I love you very much! xoxo

Jess

When I was in school, and my class and I heard that there would be a substitute teacher for the day it was great. We loved it because it was like a vacation in a way. This substitute teacher didn't usually know what was going on even with a small description from the teacher so we spent our time talking and passing notes and pretending to do just what we were supposed to. Yeah substitutes were great.

When you come to place like Togo, you soon realize not all substitutions are great. Sure you have your host mom and for me she was a great substitute, but some things just aren't the same.

A SHORT LIST OF GOOD, IT DEPENDS, AND NOT SO GOOD SUBSTITUTIONS:

Village>>>Atlanta IT DEPENDS

Goodbred Family>>>Trega Family GOOD

My car>>>Bush Taxi NOT SO GOOD

English Language>>>French/Ewe Language IT DEPENDS

American Cheese>>>Cheese made with milk and citron juice to curdle it NOT SO GOOD

Hope everyone is doing alright. I miss everyone, and I am really busy because of the new trainees that have arrived now. This also means that I have been in Togo a year now!

A few weeks ago I helped plan and facilitate a 3 day seminar vith volunteers and their counterparts on the importance of science, how to get students interested in science and math (especially girls) and creative and hands on activity ideas. We brainstormed how to go about doing science clubs, camps and even science fairs. I even illustrated a small idea book for volunteers. The seminar went well. We had many Togolese guest speakers from the field, including a very intelligent and dynamic woman from Lome. I am hoping that the counterparts were especially motivated and inspired to make the learning environment more interesting to students because they are the key to sustainability after all for Togo.

Last week I did a small seminar in my village on Moringa and nutrition. I worked with a nurse from our health clinic, a farmer and his wife, the catholic church pastor, and a teacher. The farmer actually dried moringa tree leaves and ground them into powder. I put them in little sachets and gave them as gifts to the participants.

We talked about the foods that give us energy, help growth, and prevent illness. I based it upon what was available here in Togo, in my region specifically. Afterwards we took a look at what food is not common here and what we can do as a substitution. The answer of course was Moringa (look it up if you arent familar) and we explained how you can eat it and incorporate it into your diet. With that we planted Moringa trees for the community.

I think the seminar was pretty successful, we had about 30 people participate and people are still asking me questions pertaining to Moringa in village. I think that I will do the same seminar in some other local villages as well.

The 22nd is my village fete and I hope to take pictures and such to share.

I miss everyone very much and I hope everything is going well in the US and Canada.

This is Gossamer, I thought I would put a picture of her up since since mom sent me one of Stella.

This is my girls club and I making soap, green soap no less.

This is our village chief who came to visit and we had a small fete.

These are the girls who were dancing at the fete. They were great.

Thought I would add a few new photos from today. The background is the Lome. Enjoy!

Written May 2, 2009

I wake up to this scent. I know I have smelled it before and I am trying hard to place it. I keep my eyes closed trying to catalogue it, afraid if I open them I will lose it. Suddenly it hits me, I know that smell.

It smells just like when Mama dries manioc out in pieces and laid them out on a piece of tin roofing. All day they would sit in the yard in the African sun while Mama constantly shooed the chickens away.

At night she would gather up the manioc, not yet fully dry and set them on the porch for the next day. I would sit beside it and smell that same scent. It is a sickenly strong odor with a hint of humidity.

That was what I was smelling this morning, but it was not my Mama. I do not live with her anymore. The smell was my skin, my blankets, my pillow because of the heat during the night. It was the third night of restless sleep, the heat doe not quit and the rain has not come unlike the calendar promises.

My cat Gossamer lays in a ball in a sort of upside down fashion and I tell her she is lucky I did not accidentally roll on top of her in the night. She continues sleeping, not the least bit concerned.

I hear my nieghbor Eric singing in his scratchy voice gospel music like every morning. "Pastor Eric, good morning," I say and he laughs as he heads for the farm.

I grab the half of the bread on the table and the jelly. I cut it open to find a colony of ants that have infested it. I throw it out in the yard and sigh. No food is safe.

Today is Saturday and there is no schedule but to do a lesson plan for the Jr. High School about methods of contraception. "The volunteer before you did it," I was told. "ok," I say. "I will do the class, but I have other things I want to do that are different then the previous volunteer."

Because I am different.

I feel the breeze through the window and I hope the rain will come soon, the farmers are all thinking the same thing too. Give Africa some relief, give its people some food for their families, it feels like manioc on a tin roof.

So I finally got the chance to get to a computer.By the last month before I get paid again I try and be careful of the money I have left. I spent the last month and a half in my village I think I only left once to go to a nearby market. It was good though, I got a lot of things accomplished with little distractions. I had things I wanted to write in my journal online in my notebook, but I left it at the house. Ah well.

So I got a big box from Todd full of junkfood and if he ever checks my journal thank you so much it was really nice of you to do that! I wrote you a letter that I will be sending out next week.

Mom, I am sending you a huge envelope full of things including photos and random stuff. I also was hoping that you could stick my digital camera in the next box you send since I really need it here. Developing film is so much work and I am willing to risk having my camera here. My village is pretty secure. I will call on Wednesday as soon as I have a phone card.

Stephen, my phone dies a lot in village and with no electricity I can not charge it unless I am in a big town or city. My hpone is charged now so feel free to call if you have the time.

Grandma, I am glad you got the card in the mail and you liked it. I have not gotten a package yet, but I will keep a lookout for it. Thank you in advance and I appreciate all the support.

Granny, I am sending you and grandaddy a letter in the mail too and the big envelope I am sending mom is for you guys to look at too. I will check out the singer as soon as I get the chance. I miss you guys!

Luke, I saw your poster a bit in my email. From what I see it is very beautiful and when I get the chance I will do a full critique. I keep missing you on AIM, hope to talk to you soon.

Suzie, I can not believe you had surgery! I am so glad you are okay! Please send my congrats to Maggie and tell her I love her! I will try to get a hold of you soon.

Sara, my email is imxaxrobot@gmail.com and I love you so much, you have to be done with school soon

I will write a more detailed entry of happenings when I have more time next week. Take care.

I was sick the past couple days, some sort of virus I am assuming. Yesterday I started to feel better and left my bed. The sun hit me as soon as I stepped outside and it felt not like the normal harshness from midday, but instead it gave me a boost of energy after being locked up in my room. I stretched from side to side getting my joints working again and took in the fresh air. I do not plan on getting sick again until 2010... one can dream can't they?

Alphonse and I decided to eat a big breakfast this morning. I sat at the table and started chopping tomatoes and onions while he went into town to buy some eggs. We drank hot chocolate and bread and jelly and stuffed our bellies full of food for the day.

Tomorrow is Easter and I am a bit disappointed that there is no Easter Bunny here. Actually the people I explained the Easter Bunny to were slightly confused. I took this as a hint that I will not be getting any Cadbury eggs this year, not even a single jelly bean. I wouldn't even mind if it were a black jelly bean, my least favorite. I do know that we will eat pate or foufou as a feast though, which does not bother me in the least nowadays.

Tomorrow will be full of singing and dancing by the village with young and old together in dresses and suits of colorfully designed fabrics (pagne). I know at about 6am I will hear the drums commence. Being so close to the Catholic Church makes my home an ongoing concert, but I don't normally mind, my radio batteries are always dead.

So today I decided to do some relaxing to make sure being sick is out of my system for good and enjoying the day. After Easter is the start of a lot of new projects and I want to be ready. I hope that everyone is in good health back home and I love you very much. Happy Easter, and tell Mr. E. Bunny that he needs to expand, I want my chocolate!

xoxo

P.S. There is nothing wrong with coloring Easter eggs. :)

4/6/2009

Last night I walked through the village looking for the Jr. High School science teacher who also happens to be a very good friend. When I found him, we talked about how I wanted to hold a meeting with the village to ask if there was anyone interested in forming a committee that will help plan projects with me for the community. I think it is the best plan of action since I will not be living in Togo forever and this way the committee can continue without me.

The professor and I met the president of the CVD, then the president of the women in village, and finally a notable who promised that after Easter he will call the village together and discuss what we can do.

Now that it is the start of the rainy season, I wander my village to find no one. Everyone is at the farms planting crops. They do not come home for lunch half the time, it is not until evening that I see anyone at all. Sundays after church is really the only free day and it leaves me restless knowing that time is going by quickly and I want to help as much as I can. The job of the volunteer is not only giving information about importance of education, health, small business aid or working with natural resources, you also have to become a motivator to a population of people who really have only just met you. At the sama time you realize how much you have changed and the view of the world has gotten much bigger.

LATER

Today was slow. Everyone is at the farm with the exception of the people working at the health center and the man at the telephone cabine. Now that school is having a small vacation it has left me with cleaning my house (ants are annoying when they get in your jelly) and writing out project plans and ideas to share with the village. Of course I am also keeping my post notebook up to date as well.

It is very hot today and I hope it will rain soon.

PS I got a cat the other day, a few months old, a female. I named her Gossamer in honor of Sara G. Maybe it will help decrease the mouse population a bit.

Lots of love

Grandma- I love you, you are my cheerleader, Alphonse was looking at all the messages you have sent me and he said "Ta grand-mere aime toi beaucoup." (Your grandmother loves you a lot. ) I told him most definitely.

Mom- Although what you said was hilarious and everyone in the cyber cafe turned to look at me when I laughed out loud, be nice to be brother rawr.

Randall- Congratulations on being accepted to the University!

Luke- Rawr

Stephen- Rawr

Sara- I love you like woah

Everyone else that I do not have time to write for because I have to type this report for Peace Corps- xoxoxoxo

I just finished with a training on steps you need to take to start projects at my post. The trainers did an excellent job and it made me anxious to get back to work with planning. I have a lot of ideas on upcoming projects and realized 2 years is not much time. Some projects I hope to do include:

A 2-3 day conference for parents/couples on the importance of education, family planning, hygiene, nutrition, and HIV/AIDS prevention

Teacher trainings for the new teachers on like skills and gender equality in the classroom

World map project- painting the map of the world on the wall of the school

Planting moringa trees along with a seminar on the benefits of the tree for the family/nutrition (potentially on earth day)

Work in the primary school

Girls summer enterprise

Visit families in village and doing demonstrations or games about important topics

Right now I am doing:

A girls club of 20 girls at the local middle school who do sketches of important topics such as gender equality

Village Savings and Loan program

Womens group

Teaching Life Skills at the middle school

Planning future projects

Visiting families

Participating in activities with the village

Community analysis projects with the village

Overall a pretty busy schedule, but a fun one. I am actually feeling a lot more at home here in Togo. I am in good health and feel like I have integrated a good amount with the culture already. My french and Ewe are getting a lot stronger as well.

I miss everyone at home though and I hope everyone is ok. Thanks for the comments and Ill be sure to write again soon.

So it has been a while since I have had the opportunity to write online. I heard that my family was worried about me because I have not really contacted anyone in a few weeks, but I let mom know that I was fine it is just that there are no close by computers so I can only do so when I visit a bigger town or Lome. Also I live on a modest budget and phone calls across the world get a bit pricey. No worries though, things are going just fine and I am getting more and more used to my post and getting to know the people who are very kind.

I started writing a list of projects I want to do to help my village and started speaking with the community. There was already a womens group started by the previous volunteer and I want to continue that along with some other things.

Right now I am teaching middle high school students during the week about HIV/AIDS, decision making, gender roles, healthy relationships, etc. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done thus far. Working with adolesence is hard enough, but in a different culture than your own and in a different language is a giant obstacle. To avoid too much stress I make sure my lesson plans are very detailed in both english and french in case I get stuck with the language. The hardest thing about school is when you ask questions to the class and they look at you and the classroom is silent. You really have to push them to contribute ideas to keep the lesson moving.

The hours I am not working I walk around the village and talk to the people or just observe the lives of the Togolese and even if they may speak the local language, which I am getting a bit better at, I can sometimes decipher the general conversation based on facial expressions or the limited vocabulary I now posess. Observation is pretty powerful and it has helped me get by these past few months.

My hope is that I will help at least some in my short time here in Togo and I decided that even if that help was only for a small group or perhaps even one person I will consider my work successful.

Today I got my picture taken at the local Kodak store and thought I would share with you the Jess after 6 months of Togo look with Alphonse...do NOT laugh! :)

So Alphonse is attending a funeral for his niece today who suddenly passed away at the young age of 28. She had surgery a few years back on her stomach and then complained of a slight pain a few weeks ago. Suddenly she just passed away. I know so many people who have died these past few months. It makes you appreciate the doctors and healthcare in the states.

So when Alphonse came back from Lome after figuring out when the funeral was last week we spent the evening discussing life and death and the differences of ideas in different cultures. It was actually a great evening and after much talking I realized that we felt the same way about a lot of things in life. We ate our Fou Fou and listened to a Ghana radio station since it is in english and just enjoyed the night.

The next day I went to the post office and got the package and card mom sent me and the card granny and grandaddy sent me. I keep forgetting it is almost xmas due to the warm weather and not much hype about the holiday here in Togo. The most sacred thing of all in the package was Oreo cookies. Mom you are the love of my life, thank you! I also loved all the letters and made some potatos the other night.

I love you all!

So I looked at the photo in the link that mom posted and no that is not me. I was wearing a green and cream colored corset and skirt with black brids on it. I do not see my self in that particular picture, but when I get my hands on one I will be sure to share it with everyone.

I think the speech went pretty well and it was nice to finally become a volunteer aftyer a long and trying training. I took my host family out for some Chinese food in Lome. It was delicious and everyone had a good time.

The next few days afterward consisted of me moving to my post in a little village. I spent a lot of my time cleaning, washing, and just sleeping. People stopped by to say hello from the village and I visited neighboring markets to get supplies.

Since I became a volunteer all has been good and calm and I am in good health which kinda scares me ha ha.

This week has gone by very fast and I have been enjoying my time. I will make sure to write again soon.

I love you all!

So wandering through the streets of Lomè the other day left me standing in front of a large film developing center, and being so prepared I had a roll of used up film with me. So in 30 mins I held in my hands some photos during training. The quality isn't the best but beggars can not be choosers lovelies.

This is obviously me, taken by my 5 year old sister and she didn't look through the view finder? thus the weirdly cropped image. My clothes are hanging off me all weird due to the rapid weight loss.

My little sister (who took the above picture) drawing on the chalkboard. She is an amazing artist.

This is my home at my post. It is PIMP in my opinion.

My little brother and sister drawing on the chalkboard again. I gave them a ton of colored pencils and chalk. I am already missing them!

And last, but certainly not least is Alphonse waiting for Thankgiving dinner. I constantly reminded him that there would be no fou fou, he didn't seem too disappointed.

I will be sure to send more photos soon when I have the time and money again. Thanks for the comments. Lots of love!

Well my friends, Jess has made her way to another internet cafe. I know it is unbearable for you all to wait days and weeks for updates. Well stop biting your fingernails the day has come.

So I packed up all my things in my room at chez host family. Why do you ask? Well my dears training is offcially over. in about 2 hours I will be a Peace Corps volunteer! Today I do all the paperwork to swear in but the actual ceremony is tomorrow night and I, yes I will be doing the big speech in French in front of everyone for our group of trainees. My host sister, who is a seamstress made me a beautiful outfit for the occasion and I will be sure to have photos to share at some point. It is quite a challenge to find a place that developes film and quite costly, but I will sacrfice precious CFA for you all.

Leaving myhost family was very hard this morning. I have only lived in that village for two months, but I have grown so attached to them and they have done so much for me. I went to Kpalimé yesterday and bought some small gifts for them. They have truly been the best part of training.

The past few weeks were pretty tough though and I was counting down the days until I could actually go to my post. I think every traineee feels that way by the end.

I took my French test the other day and in two months I went from novice low(hey its been 5 years since my last french class and even then I was not very good) to intermediate mid level! I guess the fact that you HAVE to learn french to actually survive helped me out tremendously. I am going to have some tutoring at post and reach the intermediate high level at the very least along with practicing more local language.

So some random statistics for your amusement:

number of lbs lost so far: about 15lbs last time I checked mostly due to illness and sweating every second of the day... AND NO Pizza Hut...grrr

number of weird issues with my body: not ,any right now except some infected bug bites because you can never be clean enough for them to heal well, oh yeah and some heat rash... good times

craziest dream/hallucination in the middle of the night due to malaria meds: thousands of ants running across my bed, I seriously thought it was real...

my favorite thing to say in local language: ca ca ca ca (sp?) which means beaucoup or a lot, I find this incredibly amusing and giggle every time my host mom says it

the thing I recently said out loud I never thought I would say: Oh my God, there are a a lot of bananas on the roof of that taxi! (When did thingslike this become normal?)

As far as your comments are concerned...

Liet: Yovo is a term in local language meaning white person

Madame Blackhurst: Oui, j'ai reçu votre message. Merci beaucoup! J'espere que toute le chose la bas est bien. (If that is incorrect French I apologize)

Grandma: Thanks for the comments, I miss you and love you very much.

Steve: I miss you, dork.

Luke: I will call you soon.

Well I hope everyone is doing well I will try to get to a comp soon again before leaving. I need to go shopping for thing for my house. I am very excited. xoxoxoxo

Ok so I decided to return to Kpalime today to post a new entry and the stupid space bar stinks...

I think that it is impossible to describe fully the experiences here unless you actually see it for yourself. Every day it is difficult, but every day there is excitement whether you want it or not.

Some important/facinating things about Togo I have learned:

1: If you think French is hard, try speaking Ewe. There are extra letters in its alphabet.

2: The whole concept of do not talk to strangers does not apply here, everyone is a stranger. The big difference is that people actually dont mind helping each other.

3: Anything you want you can get here. For example,mama wanted superglue for her broken necklace, I said something to Alphonse about it yesterday in Kpalime and this lady overheard me and pulled out superglue out of a bag... true story.

4; I truly think my family here is saner than anyone I know in the states.

5: I seldom anger anyone here...possibly because I dont speak French well enough.

6: No matter how many times I say DONT CALL ME YOVO...they still call me yovo. The sad truth is when I a white person here I am just as excited as the Togolese.

7: I have an obsession with pagne. I plan on wearing only Togolese attire for the duration of my service.

8: The people here,even if they dont understand you, love you. I have had so much support from everyone here. My family, friends,teachers,etc will never be forgotten for the rest of my life. I sometimes wonder if it is the U.S. that is the 3rd world country because I think that the people here in Togo have much more to teach us than we have to teach them.

9; I should have paid more attention in French class. I did go from novice to intermediate in the past 5 weeks.

10: I appreciate my life more back home now and realized how important you all are.

I love you all very much. Ill try to go to Kpalime more for computer time. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ok despite the rumors, I am not going back to the US. I was going to due to illness, but I thought it would be the biggest mistake of my life. So with much happiness from my teachers, family, and friends I returned to my village very happy. My host brother even traveled all the way to Lome to try and convince me to come back, but I had already decided to do so. I am sorry it has taken so long to write again. Computers are usually hard to come by here. Alphonse and I went to Kpalime this morning for the net and other things.

As far as comments on the last post are concerned, this is not a censored jornal. Sara is my best friend and I love her so much! If she says hotmail sucks ass then so be it. It is true anyways...

I love you all, no more fighting! Ill type again soon!

Well it definitely took a while to get to a computer. The only reason why I can use one now is because I'm sick at the med unit here in Lome. So I guess now is a good time for an update, I'll water it down a bit since so much has happened in the past 2 1/2 weeks.

Well to start out I flew thousands of miles across the world to Lome, Togo. We waited patiently in a small unair conditioned room for our bags to be taken off the plane. When I finally saw my bag, the men who were helping wouldn't even let me get it myself. They quickly picked up my extremely heavy luggage and threw it on the cart to be taken to the hostel. I went through security and then hopped onto a Peace Corps van and headed over to Mamy's.

Mamy's is a very large hostel in Lome. It is a 3 story white building with many rooms. Two beds in each room were covered with mosquito nets and bedside tables. When I got there we ate dinner and I decided to unpack some things. When I opened my bag, I found that my superglue had exploded, but luckily it was in a ziploc bag. The only thing that got sticky was the battery charger. Even that little episode so early in the adventure made me feel slightly upset. I sat on the dirty floor and took all the stuff out to make sure nothing else was ruined.

I spent 3 days at Mamy's. We had small sessions on safety and health and spent time adjusting to this new place. When I first saw the city of Lome I was in shock. All the photos and videos on TV and online really exist, but it is even more extreme in real life. You can not understand what it is like to be here unless you live it. The people, the environment, heck even the smell is all foreign to you, and you are foreign to them...

So after the Mamy retreat we headed out to our training site. My host family consists of a mom (Pauline), 3 brothers Alphonse(28), Rogir (30's), Fabrice (6), and my sisters Chantal (31) and Bienvenue (5). They were all very welcoming and excited to meet me. The first question that they asked me was on what day I was born. I told them it was a Monday and so they announced my nickname was Ajo. Now whenever I meet someone I might not want knowing my real name, I announce "Je m'appelle Ajo!" and wave politely.

I get a lot of unwanted attention here in Togo, especially in the small village I am living in. I sometimes feel like I'm in a zoo when I walk to classes. People just stop and stare, and sometimes even point. Never in my ife have I ever wanted to blend in with the crowd, but here I wish I did sometimes. It's difficult to live your life with people watching your every move.

Don't get me wrong, I do love being here most of the time. I wake up at about 6am and get ready for the day. There is always breakfast waiting for me in the morning which is usually bread and jam with Milo. Milo is like Ovaltine or hot chocolate. I have it down to a science how much Milo, powdered milk and sugar to put in each cup for the best taste. I guess you could say I have some time on my hands.

After breakfast I either have french language classes at my house or I bike over to the tech house for technical or bike classes. For technical we learn about the education system here in Togo and activities and information about promoting the importance of education for girls. In bike class we learn how to repair our bikes and use them properly. Classes are usually about 2 hours each with a 2 hour break from 12-2pm. In that time I usually eat some lunch at home and rest a while. Work days are long here and it's very hot. It is very important to rest when you can.

A major struggle here is language. You find out quickly that 98% pf the time you will be with people who can not speak english or you are at school where they promote speaking only French if possible. When I'm with my host family it is very hard to communicate ideas when you are a lower level French speaker. I am getting better as days go on and it has become a habit to say "oui" instead of "yes." I love my shortwave radio at night because that is when BBC Africa is in English and it is nice to hear. It's the little things like language that we take for granted in our regular lives, that are so significant now.

Last weekend my big brother Rogir took me to Kpolime for some lunch with a bunch of Togolese friends. It made me smile when he introduced me as his "petite soeur" (little sister) to all of them. He is the best big brother I could ever ask for. I ate a huge salad he bought me and had the ever so popular Flag beer. It was a lot of fun even though they mostly spoke the local language and I couldn't understand all that they were saying.

Another hard thing to deal with here is sexual harrasment. It happens a lot, even to the local Togolese women. I had an incident where a group of men surrounded me, make inappropriate gestures. Eventually they left, but it left me scared and upset. I talked to one of the teachers at the tech house about it and felt better. After that incident I chopped off my hair and dressed a bit more conservative. Long hair here is considered very beautiful and for once I'd rather not be.

During all this time I have been sick and not sleeping very well. The malaria medication is the main culprit and so I was sent back to Lome to rest and make sure I am ok. The insect bites on my body gave me an allergic reaction as well which they gave me a type of steroid cream to calm down the inflammation. I really wanted to go back to my village today, but the nurse felt I should rest here one more day. She was very concerned about my skin and even asked if I wanted to go home. I really don't want to go home, even though I have had some really bad days. So I told her to give me a few days to think and I would let her know what I wanted to do. My gut is telling me to stay and learn to adapt because I'll be regretting going home now after only 3 weeks.

So I just wanted you all to know that I love and miss yuo very much. It is very hard to get on a computer when I'm in village so I don't know when the next entry will be written. I have sent letters to people, but it takes about 2-3 weeks. Stamps are expensive and I don't have a lot of money now.

Stephen-I sent you a letter yesterday.

Luke- I sent you a letter in with my mom's letter, you'll get it within the month.

I love all of you so much! I'l try to give people a call when I can. I have to go to Kpolime again to get some minutes. xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

EDIT:

I have a roommate now at the med unit. She is from my trainee group, and she decided she didn't want to stay any longer. I asked the nurse if I could go back to village tomorrow, she didn't know, it depends on if there is a vehicle available.

Today is the day. The day where I woke up forgetting where I was at first. I got an early morning phone call from Steve singing and laughing in my ear and the sounds of the city out my window. It was really pretty this morning. The sky was pink and red and the building reflected it through my window.

I got ready for the day, wore all light blue to bring some calmness and peace to the day. I grabbed my medical packet and headed downstairs for so some breakfast.

I'll be leaving in about 40mins to head to the medical clinic for my immunizations, all I know I need right now is yellow fever, and my malaria medication which I will need to take every day for 2 years. Apparently the medication gives you very vivid dreams that some people can't handle. I'll be sure to update you on how they effect me.

After that, it's lunch time and some rest from immunizations. We check out of our rooms and then we head to the airport around 1:30EST. Our plane doesn't leave until about 6pm. Next stop, Paris, France. France will be the first new country I'll step on out of North America.

We have about a 5 hour layover in Paris, then the next stop will be my destination of Lome, Togo. I technically won't get there til about Sunday evening.

Long couple of days ahead...wait long couple of years ahead.

The site they will be sending me to has almost continuous electricity and phones and I'll be 5KM away from Lome so communication should be pretty frequent the first 11 weeks when I'm not in my classes.

No worries my dears, I'll be fine. Thanks for all the nice comments and love. It has really helped.

I'll talk to you really soon!

xoxoxo

EDIT:

I just got back from my yellow fever shot, that I didn't even feel. I stopped at the market with a girl in my group whose last name happens to be Gregson, I think that's a good sign. I just finished backing my bags back up and I'm checking out. I don't think I'll be able to update for a couple days at least.

I didn't sleep Wednesday night, no point really. I started getting ready at 1:30am and headed out. I said goodbye to my brothers, my guinea pigs and my old pup Tiger. When my parents and I got there the airport was actually closed until 4am so I sat with a small group of people until the Delta workers decided to show up. I said goodbye to mom and dad and prayed when they X-rayed my backpack that they wouldn't make me open it and then try and manage to get all my stuff back in.

I sat and waited by my gate listening to this older couple talk about the places they have traveled in their lives together. The lady sat in her chair, sipping her free coffee like being at the airport was second nature. It made me want to be her one day. Her husband continued to walk back and forth bringing her refills and talking about how he was a pilot in the navy. They wished me good luck and I boarded the plane.

After I finally got to the hotel, my room wasn't ready yet so I walked down the street to Jake's Pizza for a triple stacked sandwich. I sat outside in the cool northern air and listened to music while watching people sleeping on sidewalks and construction workers working on a foundation for a new building.

Philadelphia is a very old city, not like any I have ever seen before. My hotel is right near a few hospitals and all you could smell was medical waste and lines of ill, injured and old stood outside the doors. Occasional ambulances drove up to the curve carrying stretchers and talking on radios. Trucks down the line unloaded medical supplies.

When I got back to the hotel more Peace Corps people came in looking as confused and worried as I was. I met a lot of people from my program who were all very intelligent and friendly.

We got back and headed to registration and staging. I finished filling out some last minute things, got some money, and checked my passport. We went into the Liberty Room of the hotel and started the VERY LONG five hours of the seminars. I felt like I was in kindergarten while we had to write how we felt and answered questions about volunteer work and how to be accepted into a community. towards the last hour, we had a fire alarm go off due to a smoking microwave. When the fire department left, we went in to learn about the rules of the hotel and such.

I went out with a large group of fellow volunteers to get some food at a mall food court, then with a smaller group for a drink. I learned through this whole thing that everyone with me was similar and I was the odd one. Everyone has a degree in international affairs, or related to it. Everyone has been to Africa before or neighboring places. They were all worldly and did amazing things already, and when they asked me I mentioned Canada, which brought a small chuckle.

When I got back to my hotel I was exhausted. I was scared and worried and tired and wanting to run away from all this. I started to pass out and then Steve called. It was what I needed. I was so tired though I could barely speak. The next thing I knew I woke up this morning to another day.

This morning has been awful. All I feel is sick and worried. I'm worried that I got myself into something I can't deal with. I keep wanting to go home I keep wanting to run from this. I'm trying hard not to, but I'm not feeling good.

I'll see what the day brings me.

I miss you guys :(

EDIT: We finished the first half of the day, and we have 1 1/2 hours of lunch before we continue on. We learned about unwanted attention and harassment along with some of the Peace Corps policies about politics and some things that might happen there. We learned more about malaria, petty theft, GI issues, etc. After watching a video about the Peace Corps and talking more today, I feel much better and have become more excited to go.

I also took a look at some other peoples' passport books full of stamps and I had the urge to do the same.

I can do this, I can do this!

I get out a 6pm EST tonight, I'll be at my hotel room around 7pm EST. Give me a call. This may be the last chance for a while.

I love you!

I just wanted to remind everyone how to comment on my journal if they wanted to in case you didn't know.

Under each post there will be something thats says "Jessica posted at 00:00:00AM/PM" and next to it, it will say "# comments." Click on that and it will give you a box to post your comment, a word verification, and options to post with your blogger ID, your Google account name, just your name, or an anonymous post.

This will be my blog specifically for when I go overseas within the next week. I am not sure how often I will be able to update, but I know there are quite a few internet cafes in some of the major cities in Togo. I'll be handwriting most of experiences, and later sharing them online. I think this will be more effective due to the slow postal service in country.

Please feel free to come back and see updates when you can. I'll also try to take a lot of pictures and post them up here as well.

Thank you again for everyone's support and kind words. I'll miss all of you very much and I'll do my best to keep in touch.