So I am offically not a Peace Corps Volunteer anymore. And as much as I loved my job, I am loving the freedom that life outside of PC brings. Here are just a few things I am allowed to do now:

1. Drive a car.

2. Use firearms.

3. Be in a car after dark (not that I do it much, way too dangerous!) .

4. Hang out with the Ex-patriots.

5. Leave my village/town without telling anyone. and so many more.

I know it may not sound all that exciting but you would miss being able to drive too if you weren't allowed for 2 straight years.

So I have been living it up. Ryan and I got to go to Johannesburg, SA to visit with his friends and see his mom for a day or two. We got there just in time surprise everyone. And here Tom got to be the lucky guy of the night and have all the girls lavish our attention on him. Then we got to go to Kruger National Park in South Africa. I know it may seen kind of silly considering I've had Chobe National Park in my backyard for the last two years, but it was totally worth it. I got to see my first leopard. This wasn't the leopard, but this lady was the reason I got to see the leopard. She was sitting overlooking a pan and the leopard got wind of her and ran right in front of our car. So cool.

Now Ryan and I are back in Kasane and working hard. We are helping Ryan's folks run the lodge. Here are just a few pictures.

I'll try to update again soon. I know it's been such a long time, but now hopefully we are getting into a routine and I'll have a little more freetime.

Sadly, today Jerome had to be put down. In the words of Kathy VD "It's not the quantity of life, but the quality of life." Jerome lived a full and happy life. His last adventure was taking down a bushbuck. He will surely be missed.

Jerome April 2007- June 25th, 2009

Hey All,

I've offically moved out of Kachikau and into Kasane. Things are crazy at the moment, but here is my new mailing address:

Private Bag K48

Kasane, Botswana

Please send me tons of mail. I've been missing everyone terribly. Love you all.

In February Ryan, Kim, Shaun, Ryan C, Melise, Grant and I all went on a road trip to Mozambique. And what a trip it was. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. We drove down through South Africa and up into Mozambique.

We got to stay at a beautiful place called Blue Water's Beach Resort in Vilenculos. It was right on the beach, so all I had to do was open my front door and there was the beautiful beach below.

I know, it's totally not fair is it? Well personally I feel like I totally deserved a vacation. I've worked so hard the last couple months and this was my last holiday as a PCV. I basically saw it as my reward for 2 years here. But then I was made totally jealous, because I ran into 3 PCVs who actually live and work in Vilenculos. Totally, completely, and ridiculously unfair that they get to live in a place that beauiful. :)

This is Melise and Kim. They are some of the most amazing women in the whole world. I love them to pieces. Melise is one of the best cooks I have ever had the pleasure of watching. She cooked all of the seafood while we were out and about. Delicious! And Kimmi, she is my shining star. She keeps me laughing and we just have so much in common. These chickens are the best!

So this is the group of crazies I went on the trip with.

And here's the bestest boyfriend in the whole world. He treated me like a princess the whole time. He's such a sweetheart. He took me horseback riding and snorkling and we just had the best time. But I guess it's back to the real world. Got to get back to working on the life skills manual and working with YOHO to turn over the life skills program. We have a camp coming up this weekend in Kasane, and I am really looking forward to it. It is a true balance of YOHO staff with our life skills facilitators. The kids are really going out of their way, and we had 125 applications for this camp. So super excited to get back to work. Gonna be a good weekend.

I know, I know, I know... It's been months since the last time I wrote a blog. For those of you who follow, I am incredibly sorry. I try to write as much as possible, but lately I've been having some trouble, well more writers block.

I know, for those of you who actually know me, when have I ever been without something to say? Well, that really wasn't the problem. It was more than I just couldn't put what I wanted to say into writing. I even stopped writing in my journal.

It's been a rather difficult time period actually. Usually I use my journal to help me process what's going on, but I just haven't been able to do that.

This whole writers block thing started when Ryan and I started talking about our plans after I finish Peace Corps. We both have always known that we want to go back to school. I also want to go home to the States eventually. We want to do some traveling. We have a lot of options and a couple months to decide. I guess the idea of making this life atering decisions just got to me and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't.

These days, Ryan and I have made a few decisions. :)

1. We are going to stay in Botswana for a while after I finish my PC service. We are both going to work at his parent's lodge while we apply to schools and save up a bit of money. The last thing either of us want to do is struggle to find decent jobs when we get home. I know the economy isn't the best right now, and we have the opportunity to work at the lodge here while we make future plans.

2. We are going to do a little traveling while we're still around. I'll have a lot more freedom once I finish PC, so we are going to be able to come and go more often. Probably during our breaks at the lodge.

3. We are going to start applying to schools in the states. We are still waiting until Ryan finishes his Master's thesis before we apply anywhere, but it's certainly on the list.

So I am feeling much better about a lot of things. At least now I know where we are going to be for the next couple months. So it looks like all of you will have to continue care packages and letters to Botswana for a while longer :)

When I got to Kachikau some 17 months ago, I toyed with the idea of getting a dog. I knew that a dog would mean lots of responsibilities and eventually finding it a permanent home. Well the time has come, and Jerome is looking for a new home. Ryan and I have been talking about it a lot lately because I want to make sure he goes to someone who is going to treat him as a pet, someone who will treat him as good or better than I do now.

With that said, it is unfortunate that those requirements cut out a lot of people who have shown interest in taking Jerome. Most dogs in the village are seen as protection and nothing more. They are malnourished, beaten, and left alone to fend for themselves.

This week Jerome had an interview with a family in Kasane who seem interested in taking him. They have a huge backyard and another dog who could use the company.

And today I got a super great Christmas present finding out that Jerome has a home. The family he interviewed with has decided to take him and he will be moving to his new home at the end of January. Although I am going to miss him dearly towards the end of my service, I know it’s the right thing that he will have a home for years and years to come.

It’s been a rough couple of days since I got back to Botswana. I knew coming back here wasn’t going to be easy. But I also assumed that everything would be the way it was when I left. I guess we all know what assuming does. So when Ryan and I got into Johannesburg after our long flight from Washington DC, I was finally able to check my email and thrilled to be able to tell my parents I had made it back to Africa safe and sound. That’s when I noticed an email from Kachikau:

Puso passed away.

I am having a hard time with this now. I just am not quite sure how I am supposed to feel about it. Kethipile Puso was my counterpart, the person who came down to pick me up from training and introduce me to my clinic staff. She saw me as a baby PCV with all of my ideas on how to change the world and watched me grow into the independent realistic Peace Corps Volunteer I am today. She was my go-to person, my next door neighbor, my source for cultural information, and my friend. And now she’s gone.

Puso had been sick for a while before I went home to see so many of you. She had been feeling ill for months before she finally went to her home in Maun to see the doctor. And the only information I am getting out of anyone here is that she checked into the hospital and never came out. I am finding it harder and harder to deal with this as the days go by and no one wants to talk about it, to greave with me. Everyone wants to go on with their lives as if nothing happened and as if she was never apart of our lives.

We are trained to deal with the death and destruction that HIV leaves in it wake. But how do I deal with an unknown illness?

Part of me feels guilty I wasn’t here when it happened. To say goodbye.

Part of me is questioning how someone could be taken away from us so young (she died at the age of 27).

Part of me is extremely sad because although I am here in Botswana sharing my knowledge, I am forbidden to share my faith.

It’s not something Puso and I ever talked about because it’s a taboo subject for volunteers to breach. I have no idea where she stood, and I have no idea if on that Day of Judgment I will see her again or forever know I am unable to reach out to her.

Kethipile Puso left behind a group of people who will miss her dearly. I can only pray that she finds the peace she so deeply deserves.

As you all know, I was fortunate enough to be able to come home in November. After 15 hours of driving down to Johannesburg, an 18 hour flight to Washington DC, and a 2 hour flight to Orlando, I was happily reunited with Mom and Dad. As you all know as well, Ryan came home with me. This was his first trip to the states and he swears he had an amazing time.

The first couple days home we a bit hectic because one of the main reasons for my trip home was to be a bridesmaid in my best friend Diana’s wedding. I have to admit, she was an absolutely beautiful bride and if I do say so myself, she had some smokin’ hot bridesmaids ;) The wedding was beautiful and we had an amazing time. I got to see Diana’s parents who have been like 2nd parents to me since UNF and her wonderful Aunts and Uncles who have taken me into the family with open arms. I love you all and miss you dearly. Aunt Mares & Uncle Howard – I am fully expecting to see you both out here on safari soon, so start packing.

Mr. and Mrs. David Miller spent their honeymoon living it up in Las Vegas and I wish them nothing less than a marriage filled with love and happiness. Welcome to the family David and I love you Di.

Once the newlyweds were on their plane to Sin City, I was off to church to see my long lost church family. I can’t tell you amazing it felt to be surrounded by the people who have supported me throughout this experience. I know I am in your thoughts and prayers and I can’t thank you all enough. I also have to thank my dad for letting me get up and sing with the praise team the two Sundays I was home. 19 months is too long to go without belting it out in front of the church next to Mom, Bonnie, and Dawn. I had an absolute blast.

I also have to say thank you to Susan for coming out to church with your hubby to see me even if it was only for a couple hours. You’ve been promising for years now to do that, and I loved getting to see you. Hi everyone at Strang who reads this. Miss you guys.

During Thanksgiving week Ryan and I went to Disneyworld. (Special thank you to Michelle Astol and Jeffery for all of your help.) We had an amazing time riding rides, running through the park, and pretending to be kids again. When you are gone from Orlando for any real length of time, you forget how much fun you can have pretending to be tourists, Ryan and I did just that.

Turkey Day was incredible. I was able to spend the whole day with the family, and Ryan was able to have his first Thanksgiving. Thank you Mom for all of your delicious cooking and it was wonderful to see you Grandma & Grandpa. I love you guys.

Kali’s husband was home with us for part of the week too. I never really got to know him before I left for the PC, so this was a great time for Ryan and I to get to know him. He is one of those amazingly brave soldiers in our military. He left for his first tour of Afghanistan a week before I left for the PC, so I know Kali is thankful to have him home for the holidays. And I thank you for coming out bowling with us as well as going to the range and teaching me how to shoot. I guess that’s what brother-in-laws are for.

I have to admit I wasn’t totally innocent while I was home. I have been talking about getting a tattoo to encompass the 2 years I am spending as a PCV in Botswana. It took me a long time to figure out what would sum up my service and I am grateful to Raphael at Mystic Tattoo for putting up with me, Kali, Lauren, Heather, Ben, and Ryan crowding around him while he stuck a

For those of you wondering why I chose an elephant to sum up my PC service, let me explain:

I am extremely lucky to be one of the few volunteers who is able to see Elephants, Buffalo, Giraffe, Zebra, Monkeys, Baboons, Lions, Crocodiles, Hippos, etc on a regular basis. Chobe is amazingly beautiful and I know how lucky I am to get to spend my two years of service surrounded by all this beauty.

They are graceful creatures. You can’t imagine how awe inspiring it is to stumble upon a herd of elephants and watch as these gigantic creatures move almost silently through the bush. It’s a reminder that most of the time, in order to be effective, you have to tread lightly.

They are strong, something that I had to be throughout many nights spent alone and halfway across the globe from everything I love most in the world.

They are clumsy. A baby elephant still learning to use it’s trunk is exactly what I felt like when I first got here, learning how to live and work in a community very different from my own.

They travel in herds. Trying to change the world isn’t something I am going to be able to do on my own and it’s with the help of my friends and fellow PCV’s that we can make a difference.

They protect the weak. I can’t tell you all the times I have had to be brave, stand up, and say something that no one wants to hear. Teaching subjects that are considered taboo isn’t always the easiest job, but it’s worth it if one life is changed because of something they learned from me.

They can be dangerous. Sometimes it’s not about being nice, polite or friendly. Sometimes you have to be straight forward, driven and even mean to get your point across.

They say Elephants never forget. And I hope that’s true about this experience. I hope to never forget the two years I’ve spent living among the Batswana doing my part to help eradicate a disease that is wiping out a population. I also hope to never forget the people to have touched my life while I have been here. You know who you are and I hope you guys always keep in touch. needle in my side for over an hour. It came out perfect, it’s exactly what I wanted.

Family picture day was hilarious. We all went out the day after Thanksgiving to the mall to a small photography studio and had family pictures taken. The whole thing was crazy, from picking out what we are supposed to wear, to getting everyone there, to how we were supposed to sit, even to what pictures we were taking. But it was a morning of good fun. I know I am going to look back on these photos later in life and remember just how insane my family really is.

Then we as a family took the evening to go see the Blue Man Group at Universal. It was an incredible show. Ryan and I had a great time.

If I leave out the parts about my friends, I know they would probably disown me, so I guess I should say a little… There is absolutely nothing like being with your best friends. From evenings at the Ale House with Lauren, Heather and Ben to Pie night at Heathers house playing Battle of the Sexes, I swear I have some of the best friends in the whole. We went out bowling and the time flew by. We sat a restaurants and everyone treated Ryan as though he had always been a part of the group. I love you guys. I can’t wait to come back and have you guys around all the time.

It was so nice being home with you all. I know how fortunate I am to have everyone come see me. Thank you to those of you who took time off work, drove 2 hours, or put off studying to hang out with an old friend. Being home just makes me miss you more now that I am back in Africa, and I am determined to keep you guys updated more often with my blog.

The flight back to South Africa wasn’t nearly as good as the flight there. A jerky pilot, more turbulence than I appreciate, and 15 hours later we were back in Johannesburg. Now it’s time for a 15 hour drive back to Kasane and another hour out to Kachikau and I will be home again.

I am getting so excited. In 2 weeks I leave my village in northern Botswana to head down to Jo-berg to catch my flight home to Orlando. I can't believe it's getting so close. It feels like just a couple days ago that I booked my flight home and now it's practically here.

Things here in Bots are going well. I am working with a local organization in Kasane called YOHO (Youth Health Organization) who are taking over the life skills program that we (the 2 other PCVs and myself) created here in Chobe District. It's one of the ways we hope to make the program sustainable. And so far, so good. We just finished the beginning of the funding proposal process. So now it's a bit of a waiting game to find out if our proposal has been approved.

Since I'm waiting on activities to resume, I have been working really hard on putting together the new life skills manual for our district. It's a serious need in my opinion because I think it's important to have lesson plans written by the local people who have some experience teaching the kids we are targeting, instead of just having lesson plans written by people from around the world. Now, don't get me wrong, the manuals I have gone through are wonderful, but they lack the Batswana cultural aspect that I think is a necessity for teaching the youth out here.

But the next couple months are going to be crazy. I am trying to get as much done with the manual as I can before I come home for Diana's wedding. Then as soon as I get back here after my visit home, I have a week of Life Skills Facilitators training. Then sometime within Jan, Feb or March we have to plan and implement 2 camps. I am trying to work with YOHO to establish the roles we should each play in the program and how things should run after I finish PC.

I am getting really stoked about the coming months though. It's getting close to the end of my PC service and things are winding down. I get to come home for about 3 weeks and spend some quaility time with friends and family. Then I am planning on going to Mozambique for a week of fun in the sun and a little vacation hopefully in February. And then I have 3 months of quality time in the village before I finish PC. Hopefully then I'll have the time to go on a safari up to Ethopia. That would be awesome. So good things yet to come.

Today is Botswana's Independence Day and so to celebrate, I decided to do something different. And with me, we all know that something different has got to be unusal, so I made a plan to play with some Mongeese that live at the snake park. All in all, it was a great day of fun and excitement. These little guys are super cute.

Eventually, we got into a serious staring contest and things got heated

He got a little upset when I won and decided he didn't want to play anymore.

But now we are friends again. Next week we are talking arm-wrestling, maybe a little snake eating competition, and of course a rematch.

I hope you all found a fun and exciting way to celebrate the day :) Now i need a nap

I can't believe I am another year older. How is it possible that the year can pass by without you noticing? Well this past birthday year has been one heck of an experience. I found a home in the middle of the bush, living in a house without a bathroom inside. I found the cutest little puppy that turned into my chicken chasing, lovable, loyal dog Jerome. I found myself coordinating and running an entire District's new life skills program. I made tons of friends, one of whom already has dibs on flower girl at my wedding (love you Courtney), and many more that will hopefully be around to bug me even when I'm 80. I met the most amazing guy and can't wait to bring him home to meet the family in November. I had friends graduate, find jobs, get married, have children, and buy houses. I got to see Victoria Falls, one of the greatest wonders of the world, twice. When I look back on this past year, I see so many sucesses, so many failures, and a multitude of happy memories.

Here is a couple of the pictures from my birthday party. I would have more, but my camera died after about 5 pictures. I guess that's what i get for being nice and letting the school use it for end of term pictures.

I guess I owe a lot to this big guy. That's Paulie, in pink, he introduced Ryan and I. Gotta love him!

Here we have NSR (No Shoes Ryan), Bronwin, and Paulie. We call him NSR because he honestly never wears shoes. I keep warning him that it's a great way to get a disease, but I guess he'll never learn.

And here we have Paulie, Mark, myself, and NSR. The boys spoiled me all evening, but of course it wasn't the same without my birthday crown.

For all those curious minds out there, it's time for another life skills camp/life out here in KC update.

Life Skills Camps-

So far things are going really well with the planning of our upcoming life skills camp in September except for my lack of sleep and crazy dreams. I have been having meetings with the management staff members in order to get everyone on board with the project. One of the organizations we are working with, YOHO (Youth Health Organization) is totally on board and just awaiting dates and meeting times (got to get that planned). The DAC office is also hard at work to get this camp planned as well. I met with the office staff and had a brain storming session with them. Hopefully we will have a refresher training for the out of school youth facilitators a couple times before the camp in September.

I am super excited because we now have 2 new PCV's in our district that are extremely excited to work with us. The two new PCV's are Tom & Jana, an older married couple (I am starting to think PC doesn't want me to have friends my own age) in their late 50's. They seem to be ready to jump right in running on the project, so we've given them lots to do.

I am currently working on a life skills manual that is specific to my district as well as specific to out of school youth teaching junior secondary school kids. It's coming along, but it's also quite irritating because i am compiling lots of information into one book as well as writing up my own lesson plans and game ideas.

So if you have any books on icebreakers, energizers, or games with moral lessons involved, please send them to me!

The sleepless nights and crazy dreams are getting interesting. I woke up this morning at 4:30am after having a dream about nothing being prepared and the kids being little terrors and nothing going right. Only good thing about dreams like that, is they remind me of things i need to get done the following day.

Life in KC-

Things are, as usual, unique and exciting. For the last week I have had a PHD student, Clare, from UC Berkley staying with me. She is doing proliminary research in my area and a friend of mine got us in touch. It's been nice having someone else at the house to cook & talk with. Only problem with her, is that she speaks much better Setswana than i do. But in all fairness, she is taking classes at University of Botswana. So i guess i shouldn't feel so bad.

Things at the youth center are going well. It looks like we are starting a movie day with the primary school kids. Each Thursday, the kids come to the youth center and we watch a cartoon movie. It's time for me to interact with them in a stress-free environment. Plus it gives the kids a chance to see some movies they might not have seen before.

The Clinic is the same as usual. Nothing much to talk about there.

Nadine is doing really well. Her family came to visit and she is currently hanging out in Maun. I think it was a much needed break for her and she is sounding all rested and relaxed.

Robert is the same. He is still running around his village working on his Alcoholics Anonymous stuff. I think by the time he is done with his two years, the program might be up and running. But it's a constant challenge because drinking is a favorite passtime in his village and he's certainly fighting a battle.

This weekend is a holiday weekend of some kind. I think it's President's day, which means it's a 4 day weekend. I am stoked because I am going camping with the gang from Kasane. Im looking forward to a little bit of time in the bush with all those wild animals (Ryan's friends, heehee). But it should also be lots of fun because it's my last weekend before midservice in Gaborone. Ryan and I are doing well too. We are planning an overland safari for when i finish my service here. That should be really awesome. I want to go as far as Etheopia or Kenya if I can't make it to Egypt. And with the price of fuel these days, I have a feeling that a road trip is out of the question unless it's on one of those safari's. But just the planning is keeping my spirits high because it constantly gives me something to look forward to.

Plus towards the end of July, I am going to be helping my friend Johnny with his GLOW camp training. Johnny came up to Kasane to help out with the life skills camp training and so i am kindly returning the favor and heading down to his village near the Orapa Mines. Gonna be fun! Plus Courtney will be there too.

Ohh and I recently found an awesome tv series that is a total MUST SEE for you guys. It's called America's Most Smartest Model. I am about half way through the season and loving every episode, so if you can find it online, I say go for it.

It's crazy how all of my friends keep getting married now that I reached the age of 21 and here goes another one. Congrats to Jeff and Erin Miller. I am super excited for you both and sad that I wasn't able to be there dancing the night away with you. Enjoy your honeymoon and I expect to get pictures in the mail within the next 3 months. Love you both.

I am really looking forward to my trip home to the states for Diana's wedding in November. It's the topic of conversation more often than not between Ryan and I. We are making plans to visit Disneyworld, eat at ALL of my favorite restaurants, and spend as much time with friends and family as possible.

However, getting tickets has been the leading cause of my frustrations here lately. I tried booking them online from here, but apparently the site I tried to use didn't take non-American credit cards, so Ryan couldn't book his ticket. Then when we just used mine, I got a strange charge on my card and had to cancel everything immediately. Then finally when we did everything again through another site, it worked for less than 24 hours when i got an email telling me the flights weren't available. GRRRRRR.

Needless to say it's annoying not being able to take care of things. Now it's looking like my trip will be planned and purchased from home (Thank You Dad). So I should still be seen wandering the streets of Orlando in November, and stoked to be doing so.

I've discovered a major dificiency in my world. I was sitting at the youth center watching the girls burn the dead weeds after they had cleaned the yard. I got a sudden craving for s'mores. I turned Ryan and said we should get stuff for s'mores next time we are in Kasane, and I got this look like I was speaking German to him. Come to find out that s'mores aren't available here because graham crackers aren't sold anywhere in Botswana. (I know)

So this is a very determined request for graham crackers. I can't imagine camping without the yummy deliciousness of the sweet treat, so please... send graham crackers.

So it's been a busy couple of months. But along the way I have gotten to do some really cool things. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words and I am really starting to believe that. But for information purposes, I'll fill you in on details.

Ryan and I went on a game drive into the park one weekend and I got to see just about everything Chobe National Park has to offer. We saw elephants, giraffe, buffalo, antelope,mongeese, and loads of other creatures. This lioness walked right past the truck on my side, I could have stuck my hand out to touch her, she was so close. It was unbelievable. In fact we happened to see her a couple times in the last couple months, the only reason I know it's the same one is because she has a slight limp. Beautiful isn't she???

I am extremely lucky to be here in Bots. I love it, and I can't explain how much fun I am having. For those of you who don't know, Ryan plays for Botswana's National Rugby team - the Vultures. I went down to Gabs to watch his game and Courtney was there too. We even made t-shirts! Ryan scored a try and the Vultures won. It was an amazing game. But not to worry, I am doing everything I can to turn Ryan into a Steelers Fan.

So like I was saying before, I get to see tons of animals around here. It's simply amazing. Each time I get to see something like this giraffe, I always remind myself that we don't have these walking around my backyard in Orlando and I need to appreciate it while I get to see it here. It's completely amazing.

Here is one of the times I've been in the park with my own personal safari guide. I'm learning all about the animals, plants and ecosystem here. He's a smart boy and I'm trying to keep up by constantly debating the whole micro vs macro evolution thing with him.

This was incredible. A whole group of elephants came wandering past the truck and this little one stopped to say hello. I really thought he was going to stick his trunk in the window, but mamma elephant was close by to keep him in line, plus he wasn't completely in control of his trunk yet. He's still a young'n but so adorable.

As for the work side of life, things are going well. I am currently putting together a Chobe District Life Skills Manual for our out of school youth to use as a guide when myself and the other PCVs in my area are gone. It's endless nights of looking up information and constantly trying out new lessons on the kids in Kachikau. Hopefully by the end of my two years, the kids here will be very diverse in the area of life skills and will be able to teach each other.

Having 2 lizards live in your couch & stare at you throughout the day. You also tend to warn people of these tenets before they sit on that couch because they may come out to visit.

Reading random novels by obscure authors under a mosquito net by candlelight.

Having two way conversations with your dog and chickens when there is no one else to talk to.

Knowing what sound the water tap makes when the water will be off for at least 3 days. And leaving work to fill various buckets & jugs to get through the drought.

Lighting candles in the bathroom, not for the ambiance, but just in case the power goes out while you’re in the tub.

Eating PB&J, grilled cheese sandwiches, and burritos every week and thinking you have a well balanced diet.

Carrying toilet paper everywhere you go.

Getting stuck in a bathroom in town, crawling out the window, opening the door for the next unsuspecting victim and then doing it again the very next week.

Being hit on, told “I love you”, and proposed to routinely by men of the ages 16-75.

Being offered cows in exchange for my hand in marriage and turning the offer down because I have told myself I won’t be gotten for less than 250 cows.

Being asked for money every time you leave the house.

Telling the two frogs that live in your bathroom to keep the place bug free while you’re in the tub.

Not speaking for upwards of 48 hours.

Having people stare at you for long periods and not wondering why or what they are thinking.

Having a assigned spot in the morning meeting to stand because it is the place where the previous volunteer stood.

Being involved in conversations that last for hours and only saying 10 words.

Not watching television for more than 8 months.

Letting flies and other insects sit on your skin for long periods without flinching or brushing them off annoyed.

Seeing a spider the size of your hand come out from behind your stove while the oven is on and saying “Sorry Judes, I know it’s getting hot back there, but the cookies are almost finished and you can eat the flies that land on them”.

Killing chickens, goats, cows, etc.

Having to be home before dark…

Sitting next to a mother breast feeding in the back of the ambulance and talking about the terrible road conditions over the machine-gun rattling sound the door makes.

Saying, "I'm coming," when actually you’re leaving.

Having people talk about you in front of you and not knowing exactly what they are saying because they are speaking so fast.

Sitting at the bus stop for upwards of 6 hours waiting to hitch a ride into town to buy groceries.

Becoming a contortionist in the back of a small combi (mini bus) crammed with 15 people more than manufactures recommend and bags traveling at 120 kph and being able to sleep for hours with someone else’s baby on your lap.

Having upwards of 10 names you are called throughout the village: (just a few)

Refiwe Mokabedi

Refilwe

Ref

Fifi

Mma Jerome

Mma KC

Kara

Kara Tokar

Lekgoa

Being asked to sing in the Village Health Committee choir knowing that all of the songs you learn to sing you will know a total of what 6 words mean.

Not attending a meeting for a community event and being nominated for at least 1 committee.

Having kids everywhere you go to ask you for sweets.

Walking out into the bush, cell phone in the air, searching for network signal.

Knowing just where to stand on the hill, in the tree, with speakerphone on, to make a phone call.

Using at the very least 5 acronyms each day.

Boiling water for baths.

Waking up to the sounds of roosters, donkeys, and cows before your alarms rings.

Being able to tell which animals pooped in your yard by the size and shape of the poo.

Knowing that when the tub or kitchen drain isn’t working properly, there is a very large frog nestled inside the pipe outside.

Washing all of your clothing by hand.

Going weeks at a time without water or electricity.

I can't believe I have been gone a year already! It feels like just a month ago I was at the airport with Mom, Dad, Kyle and Justin saying goodbye. This year has flown by so quickly and I am sure this coming year will fly by just as fast (if not faster). I wanted to take this time to reflect on some of the lessons I have learned so far in the last 12 months living in Kachikau.

No matter what happens in the rest of the world, in my village life goes on as usual. I have noticed more and more that news of the rest of the world travels very slowly out here in the bush. I have been trying to keep up with election news and current events, but typically the news I hear around the village is at the very best 2 weeks behind. One of the great things about this is, life is so much simplier here. People aren't concerned with what's happening with the stock market, who won some reality tv show, who the next president of the states will be, etc. They are more concerned with where their cattle are grazing, what community event is coming up, and saying hello to neighbors as they pass. It reminds me daily to stop and think about the big picture in life.

Greetings are extremely important! I made the mistake not that long ago of going into the Kgotla (the Chief's court/offices) to use the telephone to call PC and the woman on duty was on the phone. I figured it would be rude to interupt her, so I went into the other office to use the phone. When I finished, I was severely repremanded for not waiting to greeting her. I typically try to greet everyone as I pass them, but sometimes it isn't always easy. I may be in a hurry to get to the youth center or clinic for a meeting and I will pass someone on the street and along with my greeting, they will want to talk about an upcoming event or project we are working on together. It is extremely rude to cut someone off and tell them you are in a hurry, so greetings aren't always convinient, but they are esential.

Big Brother is watching. I guess from the couple of years I lived in Lake Wales, I always knew that in a small town everyone knows all of your business, but it's different here. It's funny and I joke about it with other PCVs, but I really do believe that everyone in my village knows where I am at all times. I will walk into the clinic in the afternoon and a lady sitting on the bench waiting to see the doctor will ask me about some person I said hello to at 10:15am this morning. Or I will overhear someone say I spent 20 minutes with the Chief this morning, then went to the youth center to work, and when I went home for lunch Jerome didn't come with me. This has taught me that nothing I do is private. Every move I make may be watched, so I really should be setting a good example.

The idea that I may go back to the states is always on the community's mind. This is one that both annoys me and makes me laugh at the same time. It may be that I have been really busy at the clinic or youth center and I haven't taken a walk through the village in a while, or I may have a couple day workshop in Kasane, or I may go on holiday for the weekend. When I get back and someone who I haven't seen in a couple weeks will say something like "Ohh you're around... I thought you went back to the states". No matter how many times I tell people I am not going anywhere, it's a constant battle. Part of me feels that this is a part of PC that is never talked about. That our communities feel abandoned when we eventually complete our 27 months of service. But mostly it makes me laugh because most people expect me to tell them where I'm going and when I'll be back, it's like having a whole community of overbearing, but caring parents.

Family, friends, and a social life are necessities of life. No one likes to feel like they are excluded from the world around them. People need the love and support from people nearby. No matter how much friends and family are praying for you back home, there is just something missing if you don't have friends or a social life. It could just be my personality, I was probably a little depressed for a while when it was the holidays, I was missing friends and family. But now, I have an active social life both in my community and out of it. I have very reliable friends who are becoming more like family. And I am seeing the fruits of my labor. I really couldn't be happier. In fact, PC just came to do a site visit here with me. I got to meet the new APCD (Assistant PC Director) who is in charge of my program. They ask a lot of questions about how I'm doing, what I'm working on etc. Two other PCVs were with them and overheard the question "How are you doing?" I could hear them sarcasticly saying "Ohh Kara is just miserable here, can't you tell? She never smiles, she is never in her village, she is counting down the days till she goes home". I started laughing and it was in the moment I realized just how happy I am here. For those of you who know how bubbly I am most of the time, you have no worries. I am just a bubbly here as ever!

Everyone needs a place to vent their frustrations. Whether you keep a journal, listen to music, talk to friends, write letters home, draw, etc you have to do something to shed the daily frustrations here. I have days where nothing seems to go right... I loose electricity & water, the project I am working on still isn't going right, I sat though a 4 hour meeting (conducted all in Setswana) which I understood only about 10min of, I am still waiting for information from Kasane, people are asking me questions I don't have the answers to, etc. It's those days that I sit in the house and write like it's going out of style. These are also the days I appreciate my family the most. I see how important our family dinners were and how much I miss them.

Patience is a vertue. No matter if you have to wait 6 hours for transport, 2 months for a definate answer to a project you are working on, or weeks for the right paperwork to be filed, things take time. So for those of you who are praying for patience for me... please stop! I am certainly much more patient than I EVER was in the states, and with or without your prayers I am sure there will be plenty more things thoughout the rest of my PC service I will need to practice my patience with.

Letters/Packages from home make all the difference! I don't think I will ever be able to explain the feeling I get when I find packages and letters in my mailbox from home. Even the shortest card makes me smile and reminds me that there are people back home thinking about me. Thank you to all of you at the church who wrote little notes and put them in easter eggs for me! I can't tell you how much that made me miss you guys. Are you now thinking you should send me something, but just don't know what to send??? It's okay, here are the things I would love to have most:

1. Books - any good novel. I like to read while I eat my meals and before bed so I go though books like candy. I try to update my books read list, but seriously send me anything. They will all get donated to the village library when I finish my service, so you are helping not just me, but the many others in my village that love to read.

2. Music - I don't have a radio here. So I am falling behind on music very quickly. Burned mixed CDs are best, because it gives me lots of varity. But please include the names of the songs and their artists so I know who I am listening to.

3. Magazines - National Geographic, People, Oprah, Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, In Style, Glamour, Vanity Fair, Etc. Really anything is good and it doesn't matter if it is months old. I read them and then use them with the kids for LOTS of projects, so magazines like Oprah with strong black women pictured really help the kids to dream big.

4. Twislers, M&Ms, Milk Duds, any chocolate (although M&Ms travel best), Goldfish, pretzels, dried fruit (this is great for traveling), beef jerky, pasta sides, etc. I love junk food and I promise it will all get eaten!

5. Art supplies - I have a lot of the village kids that come to my house after school and they color, draw, etc. I can always use things/activities for them to do. Dollar store stuff works great!

6. Bath & Body works body splash - I am running out of my body splash, and I can't get it here. I really like Cherry Blossom, Cotton Blossom, Exotic Coconut, Moonlight Path, Sweet Pea, and Warm Vanilla Sugar.

7. Vera Bradly Journals - I am going though journals like crazy and I love the patterns with the Vera Bradly collection.

8. Pens - Bic pens are the best, colored, black, blue, clicky, non-clicky... it doesn't matter. Pens are like gold around here.

9. Anything fun for the kids in my village. stickers, small toys, pipe cleaners, glue, school supplies, etc. The kids love it and they make great prizes for the kids, and better incentive for them to read books for library club.

10. Children's books - I can't tell you how disappointed I was when I realized the lack of children's books in my primary school library. So send whatever you can. Its the best way for the kids to learn english and to read!

Last but not least - LETTERS!!! If you write me I will definately write you back!

My address is:

Kara Tokar

PO Box 917

Kasane, Botswana

Africa

The US Postal service has these really great flat rate boxes that you can stuff full and the weight doesn't matter. If you are just sending books & magazines, they have something called an M-bag. It is only for media stuff like books & magazines. It is a lot slower than the regular mail, but it's cheaper for the super heavy stuff.

Cheers & happy mailing

A Blurb from another PCVs blog that mentions what it's like to travel to Kachikau from Kasane. I thought you would all enjoy this as it paints the perfect picture of what it's like.

"From Kasane we went to a village called Kachikau (on a very “sad” bus, built in 1979, which lumbered approximately 20 mph down a dirt road through the bush- the bus was in it’s death throes right when we arrived, I doubt it made it much further after that- it took two hours to drive 40 miles!). Kachikau, pronounced “Catch a Cow”, is where another PCV, Kara, lives, in the middle of the bush, just south of the boonies, a little north of oblivion, an hour away from nowhere, and about 100 km away from absolutely nothing. There is no cell phone service there, she has no land line, no internet, and no post office. (Props to Kara for keeping it “real and “rural” and “really really rural”- she loves it there though)."

Thank you Andrea for visiting me and I miss you terribly.

So this past weekend I got invited to go out with a bunch of the locals from Kasane into the Park (Chobe National) for a little R&R. Here are just a few of the pics.

Elephants in the park - they are super cute when they are little

Ryan and I on the top deck of the boat (Isn't he adorable???)

Jacques (the elephant hunter), Me and Ryan on the boat - These are the guys I hang out with most when I am in Kasane. No worries about them, they always take really great care of me. Yes, Jacques hunts elephants, but it's his job.

A couple of the girls relaxing.

As the sun goes down on the water

Johnny & Joe (it's been a rough day for Johnny)

Standing on a chair to try and direct the trainees... I'm too short

Learning some traditional dances

Back on that chair again!

WARNING

This post contains Sexual Reproductive images!!!

The group of Trainees and Staff (can you find me? Cause I'm hiding)

The Management Team (what an amazing group of people)

Courtney and I teaching Reproductive Health

Courtney and I afterwards

Don't you just love teaching fun subjects???

For those of you who are wondering, Courtney and I were teaching about sexual reproductive health. This includes but is not limited to the following subects: anatomy, abstainance, condoms, partner faithfulness, masterbation, oral sex, and any questions the trainees had on the subject.

Playing a game. I somehow got sandwiched between Big Mamma Mpho and Clearance.

Chami teaching a session on becoming what you want to be

The trainees playing "hide the ball" it's a game related to how difficult it is to know who is infected with HIV.

Giving Johnny a back rub

So this is me in the old Kasane prison. It was made out of the Boabab tree. This was the women's prison. I look way too happy to be in here.

Nadine and I hanging out in the women's prison.

This was the men's prison... it's the hole next to Joe's leg. They would have a hard time sticking me in that sucker, it's very dark inside. Ohh and Joe decided to hug the tree- what a true peace corps volunteer

Thank you, thank you, thank you... I really appreciate all of your prayers this past week, they were certainly answered. The training went very very well. It looks like we have a good group of young people who have major potential for facilitating. The training was LONG... but we got through it with flying colors. I have tons of pictures I will post when i get the chance (hopefully by tomorrow) there are some funny ones of Courtney (PCV) and I teaching reproductive health (we have models and diagrams we were using to teach with). All in all a great week.

Very happy this weekend is Easter. Sad I'm missing out on the sunrise service, but glad that I have been in botswana for 11 months.

I'll try my best to update tomorrow before I head back to Kachikau. love and miss you all

I have to ask you all of your prayers for me this week. The first Life Skills camp facilitators training starts tomorrow in Lesoma, and to say I am nervous and freaking out is a whopper of an understatement. Basically we have about 50 out of school youth between 18-25 coming to learn how to teach life skills to Junior secondary school students. This is my first big event I've helped to plan and I would love your prayers that things go smoothly and that the kids get out of this camp training the skills they need to help change the world.

It's a lot to ask, but just be thinking about me this week. I could use all the positive thoughts possible. I love and miss you all. Thank you

Melissa and I on the boat... the guys got out to pee in the middle of the river

More beautiful water lilies

Sunset on the Chobe River

Mr. Elephant

Mr. Elephant

Well I promised more pictures... and here they are. Apparently the internet has something against me posting pictures today, so it's being very umcorporative, but i'm determnined. But i promise to post more when it lets me and when i have time.

Thank you Katelen for requesting more pictures... I will try to put up as many as possible. I miss you.

So things are going well here. I got the opportunity to go out on the boat with a few new friends of mine on the Chobe River. So here are a couple pictures. It was a lot of fun and i wish i had a camera with a better zoom lens because most of my pictures don't capture the beauty like they should. I'll try to upload more this week. Miss you guys

Things are good here in Bots. I am keeping extremely busy with work and yearly planning. I thought I would give you an update of my work progress and new projects.

I’m really excited because The District AIDS Coordinator’s office asked me to help on a project for the district. Basically the project is teaching life skills to junior secondary school students (grades 8-10). My job is to plan life skills camps throughout the year for these students as well as train the facilitators who will be running the camps. All in all if the funding comes through and things go as planned, by the end of the year we will have trained 250 students and 50 out of school youth (ages 18-25) in the following life skills: HIV/AIDS Education, listening, non-verbal communication, peer pressure, communication with parents, alcoholism, health & reproduction, gender awareness, relationships & family, decision making, goal setting, career options, fiscal responsibility, money management and budgeting skills.

It sounds like a lot of things to cram into a week long camp… and I’m sure it is. But hopefully with the right amount of planning, a productive and energetic crew, and a little bit of luck it will turn a few lives around and help the kids make better decisions and life choices.

My first goal in this project is to find a great group of people to be the management team. Considering everything I do as a Peace Corps Volunteer is focused on making things sustainable, I am looking for people who will be able and willing to continue on with the project after I leave. I already have a few amazing people who are helping, they work for YOHO (Youth Health Organization) and BNYC (Botswana National Youth Council). Both of these organizations already do amazing work with the youth here in Bots and I know they will do a great job with this project as well. I’m also really lucky because I have the help of a few PCV’s (Nadine, Robert and Chami) in my area who have taken a role in helping me plan these events. There is no way I would be able to do this without them.

My next goal is to find 50 facilitators for the camps. It’s my desire to use out of school youth between the ages of 18-25 because they are a very high risk group for contracting HIV. If I can train them to be life skills facilitators as well as peer educators, then maybe they will make wise decisions preventing themselves from becoming infected throughout their lifetime. Since this is a District project… I am looking for facilitators throughout the district. Lucky for me, my district doesn’t have a ton of villages, and I work closely with 5 of them. Robert, Nadine Chami, YOHO, and BNYC are also helping to find facilitators.

I’m still waiting to hear if funding for my project comes through. But even if it doesn’t my hope is that we are able to train the facilitators anyway. Funding is always a struggle and it never comes in on time, so I am just going to cross my fingers and pray.

As for other projects: I am still working with my primary school GLOW girls. Unfortunately the beginning of the year is extremely busy for the schools and all of them are currently trying out for various sports, so the club has temporarily been put on hold, but they are all extremely excited to get started again soon. And I am SUPER proud of my Junior Secondary school GLOW girls because they have started the club at the school on their own. I think their first meeting is this week. I’m looking forward to attending. The girls who came with me to Camp GLOW have taken the initiative and started things on their own since I have been extremely busy with the life skills camps as well as the clinic. But they know I am always here for help and support.

The Library clubs are doing well also. I have a new group of standard 4 students this year, and there is something like 43 of them. It’s a lot to handle at one time, so we are working at splitting up the classes. It has also been fun to see how much the standard 5 students have grown since last year. They are more outgoing, and much more focused. All together I think there is something like 60 kids in library club. Just this week we made Valentine’s cards. It’s not often that kids get to express themselves creatively and they are all so artistic, so I wasn’t surprised that the cards turned out beautiful.

Things here at the clinic are also going well. The clinic staff has been changing a lot lately… one of our nurses transferred, one is in Kasane filling in for someone, our driver retired, we had a new nurse transfer in, we had a new driver transfer in and we are getting ready to receive a Doctor and a Pharmacist. Plus one of the staff members just found out she is pregnant with her first baby. I’m completely stoked about the last one because she listens to the little bit of advice I can give her and seems to be doing really well and happy. Plus I will still be here when the baby is born.

That’s pretty much it for things happening here. I’m keeping very busy and really enjoying myself. I hope you all are doing well. Thank you Mom and Kali for sending me the new pair of flip flops, I absolutely LOVE them! Thank you for the other stuff in the boxes as well…

With the election stuff getting close, could you start sending me info on the candidates? I get Newsweeks from PC, but they are always months behind what’s going on.

PS Thank you to all of you who answered my plee for play money for the life skills camps. It should be really cool and I look forward to your packages!

It’s come to my attention that I haven’t told you much about the PCV’s I consider family here in Bots. I think it’s time to rectify that and share some funny little stories from our times together.

I have 2 PCV’s who are closest to me in proximity as well as relationship wise. These two, Nadine and Robert came over with me on the plane and hopefully will be around for many many years to come. Just so they know… I’m doing this in alphabetical order so as not to cause conflict between you to. Somehow I got really lucky to be place close to Nadine and Robert. They are both 61 years old and have become sudo-parents for me here.

Nadine lives in Kasane and is completely wonderful to open up her home to me when I need a place to crash. She works with an NGO called Fair Lady Day Care Center and is doing amazing things with her organization. Just this year she raised money to support something like 10 orphans for this school year. So cool. She is also working to make her organization self sufficient, although they have a long way to go to get there, she is really getting the ball rolling. Nadine has really taken me in as a daughter and is always there to give advice, listen to me vent, is an amazing cook, let me teach her how to make tortillas, bakes cookies with me, helps me with projects, supports my decisions, and is all around a wonderful woman. She was a complete Godsend during the holidays. She realized I was depressed & missing home, and she made me come into town to spend the holidays with her. When Justin was here, we had Thanksgiving with her. I had Christmas with her, Monica, Cassie, Liz and Leah. Her birthday is coming up this month and I plan on spending that with her too. Life here would be a lot tougher if I didn’t have Nadine around.

Robert is my resident psychologist and father. Dad… don’t worry he hasn’t taken your place; he is just filling in while I’m here. I absolutely adore Robert; he is my traveling companion, advice giver, never afraid to put me in my place, shares my sense of humor, is always good for a laugh, and currently is my reluctant partner in crime. Robert lives in Pandamatenga and works at the clinic like I do. His interests are very different from mine and he works more with the older community. Right now I believe he is working with support groups, the social worker, and the local police to cut down the alcoholism in his village. It’s a steady problem throughout the country and Robert is working hand in hand with his village to create self-esteem within the community so people face the problems rather than try to drink them away. Robert would fit right into the Tokar family, probably as an uncle or something. He has our same pick on each other, sarcastic, anything goes attitude. And it’s delightful to have him around to keep me grounded as well as protect me from whatever I may need protecting from.

Recently both Nadine and Robert had been really concerned about me. They see me and are typically the best judge of my character as well as mood. The could both tell I was going through a rough patch and took turns supporting me, talking with me, and kicking me in the butt when needed. I really do owe them a lot of thanks and I’m sure I will never be able to thank them enough for what they do for me here.

Now don’t get me wrong… I have more than just Nadine and Robert here to support and love me. Of course I have all of you at home, but I also have other PCV’s who rarely get mentioned because they are so far away. These PCV’s know who they are and know how much I miss hanging out with them, talking to them, and getting my daily quota of hugs. I love you guys!