i wanted to extend an email inviation, but my time on the internet is running out. i fly out this afternoon, at 3:40pm to arrive la at 11am, then fly from there at 1 to land in boston around 10:30pm, take the 11:30pm bus to portland where it gets in at 1:25am friday morning and my generous friend will pick me up!

i'm having an open house (apt) sunday, april 5th, from 2-5. its 49 second street, apt a in hallowell. i have no idea what state the place will be in, but i'll have a proper house-warming party at a later time when i'm situated! its more for the purpose to come see me anyway!

please feel free to stop by, bring a friend, byob, and then at 5 i'm planning to head to the liberal cup for live music (roger samson and steve vellani)

hope to see you there!

my last hours will be spent going for a walk to stretch my legs, its hazy and looks like it could start downpouring any moment.

thansk for following along. i'll be doing a closure blog i'm sure.

toodles.....

4/1

i wasnt sure what to do yesterday. there was an offer on the table from the hostel for a free shuttle into the city. i decided even if it was poor weather, it beat hanging out just passing time away. i lucked out as the rain held off. i walked around the city, had a map in my pocket but mostly wanted to just go with intuition. there's so many poeple walking around i never felt my safety was compromised. and there were plenty of things i'd wanted to see. i walked around chinatown, darling harbour, along popular city streets, back to the circular-quay and took a ferry to manley beach. which apparently the ferry was on the news last night for the dangerous ocean swells it was manipulating. my experience with my sea legs had me reeling and enjoying the bumpy ride, while others seemed a bit sick to their stomachs, and afraid for thier lives. i suppose if it was that dangerous, they wouldnt have been running, right? anyway, from the ferry you'll see i got views of the opera house and bridge. i took a ton (too many perhaps) of photos, but its an opportunity once in a lifetime. i also splerged and bought a cd of the aboriginal buskers in the city playing thier didgeridoo. i'm down to the wire dollar to dollar now, even down to the $3 i have to pay to store my luggage between th time i check out 10am, to the time my airport shuttle comes. its fun, in a way. i suppose there is plenty of atms, but i dont want to have to exchange money back.

last nights dinner was great. negrin and her husband ktrytlan(sp?) are both from iran. negrin will turn 30 this year, and they have 2 young children. they have a superb place in the city, at bondi junction and i took some photos of the view they have. even she admitted its very posh. i didnt find out what he does for work, but she stays home with the kids. we talked some about the faith as that was our common denomenator, but it was quickly realized we had a lot else in common. she and i hit it off instantly. i had no idea what to expect when i accepted the invitation, i'd sort of assumed it was an older couple. it reinstilled my beliefs and was one of the many goals on my list that i accomplished while here; to reconnect with the bahai's. they are very accepting of other religions as well, so i can still study my buddhism. after all, the religions bascially teach the same core values, its just the social aspects that vary. again, down to the dollar, i couldnt show up empty handed, and bahai's dont drink alcohol, so wine was out of the question. i had a $4 budget and after two shops, finally found a plant for that price. so, its not flowers, but longer-lasting! thanks, mom and dad for raising me well. i felt good about presenting something at the door.

3/31

because of the weather forecast i decided to tkae a bus tour which combined bondi beach area with sydney city stops. it was a hop on/ hop off type deal. it turned out to be a good call since it poured rain the majority of the day. i rode the beach part into the city, transferred to the city portion and rode all around, anticipating i'd return to the stops i wanted to explore, but i tried and i was so miserable and wet, i got back on the bus to head home. mind you, even the fact i was wet and freezing from the air conditioned bus, i was impressed with myself for keeping the words of eckhart tolle in mind, "right now, this is how it is. i can either accept it, or make myself miserable. the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situatin, but your thoughts about it." i was disappointed but had to overcome that and had to realize its my only chance to explore sydney. am i going to walk away, bitter at the circumstances, or happy for the opportunity? we create our own perspective. i gave it my full effort and then surrendered to the defeat. i came to the hostel, had a hot shower, and instantly felt better and the misery was soon forgotten. and get this... there's a guy here from newcastle, maine! as fate had it, someone told him the same time and there was knock on my door and it was ben. he's 19 and hoping to extend his stay until november as he's landed a job at the youth hostel. i'm sure if we talked enough, we'd discover we know the same people. he even dated a girl from winthrop, but the age difference didnt connect the last name for me. we both enjoyed talking "maine-ese" and connecting over the sox, celts and other local funnies like uncle henry's. and i feel grounded because now when i'm at the hostel i'm taken by surprise for someone to call out my name. i had gone almost two days without talking to anyone besides the ladies at reception. it felt strange to have a buddy.

and tomorrow i have arranged to have dinner with a local bahai. i declared myself a bahai when living in tokyo but havent been thorough in my practice lately. i'm excited to meet them but hope they arent disappointed in my lack of knowledge or experience in the faith. they've invited me into their home which says a lot about the bahai faith. extending an invitation to a total stranger. my view of the faith is sharing in fellowship and living out the principles about the independent search for truth, (there is no clergy to tell you what is right and wrong with "god"), and the fact they see all mankind as one. when i was in new zealand and vanuatu i looked up the bahais and they were so loving, kind, and friendly, opening thier hearts to me. this continues that love....

3/30

last nighth i'd planned out my time in sydney, but silly me didnt take into account inclement weather. i've been spoiled by the third sunniest city in the world (perth) that it hadnt crossed my mind to look at a forecast. i'd anticiptated two days touring the city, and two days at the beaches. after my forty minute bus ride to the city, upon arrival at the information center, i was informed its due to rain the rest of the week! i was stunned. the friendly gentleman guided me to some ideas but immediately thought of changing my plan for hte week. i hemmed/hawed about what to do. i spent lots of money and time getting to the city. and its what people expected to hear about, a report of sydney australia! i finally reached a conclusion, thati needed to do what i wanted, and so i hoppped back on the bus to hit the beach while it wasnt raining. later on in the day, i felt so good about myself. i'd questioned my choice of hostels and of how to spend my day monay, but they both felt right, and i revelled in thath self reliance of my intuition. this is the type of thing that builds confidence- experiential learning. i'd compromised that if i try to fit in both beach activities, so around 4pm i unloaded my belongings at the hostel and walked along the coastal trail, both for exercise and views. again, i was pleased with my decision making abilities. on of the best parts was seeing the locals enjoying the wonderful trails. it maade me wonder about what beauties at home i can take advantage of, like the rail trail, vaughn woods, and jamies pond. although not coastal, they still have a beauty of thier own. as darkness descended, i hit the main strip and went to the kebab house. i ordered it to go (takeaway as they call it here) and again ate beachside. it was such a large portion i broke hostel rules nad stored it in my locker in my room for breakfast. oh, i lacked to meantion the girl left the bottom bunk and so i took it over and already the top bunk has been filled. and i'm pleased to report that red sox nation has bridged the south pacific ocean as i've been seeing a bunch of people donning red sox paraphanalia.

3/30

last nighth i'd planned out my time in sydney, but silly me didnt take into account inclement weather. i've been spoiled by the third sunniest city in the world (perth) that it hadnt crossed my mind to look at a forecast. i'd anticiptated two days touring the city, and two days at the beaches. after my forty minute bus ride to the city, upon arrival at the information center, i was informed its due to rain the rest of the week! i was stunned. the friendly gentleman guided me to some ideas but immediately thought of changing my plan for hte week. i hemmed/hawed about what to do. i spent lots of money and time getting to the city. and its what people expected to hear about, a report of sydney australia! i finally reached a conclusion, thati needed to do what i wanted, and so i hoppped back on the bus to hit the beach while it wasnt raining. later on in the day, i felt so good about myself. i'd questioned my choice of hostels and of how to spend my day monay, but they both felt right, and i revelled in thath self reliance of my intuition. this is the type of thing that builds confidence- experiential learning. i'd compromised that if i try to fit in both beach activities, so around 4pm i unloaded my belongings at the hostel and walked along the coastal trail, both for exercise and views. again, i was pleased with my decision making abilities. on of the best parts was seeing the locals enjoying the wonderful trails. it maade me wonder about what beauties at home i can take advantage of, like the rail trail, vaughn woods, and jamies pond. although not coastal, they still have a beauty of thier own. as darkness descended, i hit the main strip and went to the kebab house. i ordered it to go (takeaway as they call it here) and again ate beachside. it was such a large portion i broke hostel rules nad stored it in my locker in my room for breakfast. oh, i lacked to meantion the girl left the bottom bunk and so i took it over and already the top bunk has been filled. and i'm pleased to report that red sox nation has bridged the south pacific ocean as i've been seeing a bunch of people donning red sox paraphanalia.

3/29

the goodbye was uneventful, simon drove me ten minutes to the airport, domestic terminal, and i must say how smooth and easy travelling the australian airlines and airports is. there was never any feeling of guilty before charged and it was through the non existent lines with no problems. i arrived sydney at around 4pm, because we are now three hours ahead of perth. it was a bit daunting to connect with my shuttle to the hostel, the directions were not clear and nothing was marked, but my body instantly reacted to the relief of heading to my destintaion for four nights. the hostel, although large, has a good feel to it even though i got a top bunk! i've always had an irrational fear of falling off and breaking my collar bone or breaking the top bunk and squishing an innocent sleeper below. i took advantage of the daylight and tried to get some bearings on bondi beach, east of the city (but still part of it i believe) i'd planned on grocery shopping but once i got a look at the state of the kitchen (have to pay for cutlery/dishes) i decided i'd budget one meal a day adn since i hadnt eaten yet, i went to the recommended thai place and ate it at the beach overlooking the sunset. not a bad way to end a day of travel. i made use of the few hours of the day i had. quality over quantity. it gets dark around 7, so i came back to the hostel to take comfort in my books, some internet time, and then off to bed, just hoping i could fall asleep.

delinquency on my reports! i'll do best to catch you up to speed... in a nutshell, i'm trying my best fo enjoy my moments, but the harsh reality is that its raining terribly and i'm ready to come home. i'm more of a homebody than i'd like to admit and the romance of travel has worn thin.

3/27

i attempted to surprise simon at the pub he wanted me to join he and his friends at, but i was unable to locate it. i'd planned on staying on the island until the last ferry out, but hordes of kids and too strong sunshine drove me out early, plus wanting to meet another one of simons friends i've been hearing about. but the heat and my heavy pack once i got to perth kept me from feeling adventurous. it worked out in the end, as i headed home and had time to sort out my belongings for my journey east. simon got home and helped put finishing touches on the clock i am making (until i get home. its travel-savy now) he wasnt feeling up to buddhist speech, so in true friend fashion, he did his thing and i accompanined a friend of his to meditation.

2/28

my last day in perth was beautifully spent. i slept in, simon took me to brunch at the cafe by the beach, and we spent a couple of hours sunbathing before he dropped me home so he could get stuff for tonight's picnic. he didnt get in his afternoon nap,though. napping, by the way, is an acquired tast and takes a bit of a knack to accomplish. i occassionally "allow" mysselt on a weekend or a holiday, but he does it daily! its impressive. its so decadent, but if you feel the urge, do give in to it! you deserve it! after all,its free! arent you worth the indulgence? i think so. :) simon said it was my last night in town so i got to pick the activity and i chose picnicing in kings park like the locals do. come to find out, three people bailed (or as simon calls it piked) and so we had plenty of food for the 3 of us left. understandably he was disappointed. i know firsthand what its liek to organize things and have people decide not to show up. i didnt try to coddle him, i recognized his disappointment and then tried to focus on the positive. personally, the key friend id met was still showing so i wasnt bothered. jacquis presences made the night complete. we joined the other thousands (okay, maybe several hundreds?) of people and then at 8:30pm, the "hour of power" happened. we were expecting a dramatic show of the city turn to darkness, but its was a gradual outage,and only the skyline participated. it was supposedly a worldwide event. did it happen at home? i was thinking if it did, it would be aout 5:30 am your time so that wouldnt do much good to have an outage then! mabye it was saturday night wherever you are. afterwards we went to jacqui's for drinks and stimulating conversation (spiritual). there was no biking in the wee hours of the morning, and no fighting city dwellers for a spot on the dance floor. it was a great night, celebrated true to katy.

3/25

now that my life is back to the routine in perth, i havent reported as often as when i was camping and touring western australia. days have been spent at the beach and monday night was the outdoor theater at teh somerville and tuesday was the book club meeting over thai food. and after that we went to jackie and colin's for drinks and euchre. i was so excited that they play euchre regularly. i think they had no choice but to greet my enthusiasm with a game. apparently not many know how to play cribbage but euchre is quite a popular card game.

and today i'm headed to rottnest island what the locals call "rotto". there are no cars (except service vehicles and buses) allowed on the island so i've rented a bike as part of the two night package (hostel included) the ferry ride from perth is quite lovely until we stop at fremantle and hordes of schoolkids embark. they dont respect personal space and my view from the rear is now blocked by a teacher's midsection. she's standing between myself and the railing,which seems very rude to me and i would never see myself able to do the same to another. the kids keep bumping into me without apology and the reason for getting out of the city has followed me. there are too many people for a small space. all talking thier own conversations at shouting level. its apparent to me that i'm overtired and ready to come home. what i may have been in awe of before now has become annoyances. i've been noticing for the past couple of days i've had a short fuse, but i feel defeated now the claustrophobia is almost too much to handle. (and i think im planning to attend reggaefest in sugarloaf when i get home? i hear thats crowds of people as well) `

7:12pm

the day's activities are winding down as i sit on the beach near my hostel with my drink of wine. i'm not impressed with this place although i cant complain. the lady at the visitor center was kind enough to give me my sheets for free. what hostel charges for linens? i hadnt expected to pay and so she was going to cut me a deal, but i suppose my kind demeanor was well received because she eventually said "dont tell anyone but i'll just give them to you no charge". i was so grateful i must have thanked her five times before i left. i arrived on the island to find out check in wasnt until 2pm so i biked to the first destiantion, but i didnt have any water on me and my packe was quite heavy (i admit i brought too much stuff as i had high expectations of having a last hurrah being social and going to the local pub) the hostel is a dump and is out of town from the scene. thank goodness i landed a bottom bunk. there are ten beds in the room and one bathroom for the whole hostel. the place is unkempt and i cringe to think about living here more than two nights.

today begins my first two days of a true vacation weekend. simon works two 24 hour shifts for his second job, and i have his house to my use (sharing with the otherh 3 housemates but my schedule is my own). mind you, i'm not trying to get rid of simon, there's just freedom when you are on your own. i think most of you, if not all, can relate to that! i cooked myself a vacation breakfast- a huge meal of scrambled eggs w/ veggies, bacon, fried tomatoes, and baked beans. yummy! i did a load of simons laundry and put it on the line before heading to the beach.

on my way home i stopped at the supermarket; woolworths. this is one of the main grocery stores here other than IGA and cole's. the place was unbelievably packed; you couldnt even get to teh produce section without pushing your way through the checkout lines. it was an unpleasant experience for a country girl who doesnt care for grocery shopping in the first place. it reminded me of the inconvenience in japan. we take for granted the ability to drive to the supermarket, load up our car with provisions, and then drive practically door-side to our destination. imagine having to balance on a bike or white-knuckle several heavy bags while on foot. as i stuffed my backpack i noticed all the city dwellers managing their purchases onto the train, noticebaly losing circulation in their hands.

3/21

i think this is the first day that i didnt leave the house. although, there was the recent day that the trains werent running so i came back. even though i've been on vacation this whole time, it isnt exactly relaxing when your environment is unfamiliar, so this was welcome down time. the female housemates both had guests while simon napped. i spent my day doing laundry and reading. simon has a point that there is a soothing comfort to hear other voices in the house. especially laughter. and it was all in a different language, so i wasnt distracted from my own thoughts and concentration (although maybe that'd be a good idea at times)

around 7pm we headed to the buddhist center for 30 minutes of meditation followed by an hour talk given by the monk whose spirit i've fallen in love with, ajram brahm. its evident he's not just speaking words, but that he truly agrees with his entire being what he says. he lives the words. i would love to have an iota of his loving kindness, implement it into my life, and help my loved ones discover it in themselves. i was riddled with joy from the moment he entered the room until the end of the address. just to be in his proximity has an uplifting effect. i found out that sitting in the chairs (few are available) allows me to concentrate better on the talk and my breathing. i know the tingling in the legs is part of meditation, but i'd rather get the message now and work on my technique later. the topic tonight was about buddhist customs explained with humorous anecdotes. i learned why they bow, why they chant, and what the meaning in the statues that represent buddha.

if his presence wasnt highlight enough for one day, afterwards we went to a lebanese restaurant, recommended by jacqui's friend. none of us had been there and did not know what to expect. it was an instant heart-racing, sensory overload experience! its difficult to replicate that kind of atmosphere. there were mobs of young men (hard to tell if they were teens or in thier twenties) and the blaring noise of fast tempoed music clamored from the building, but the best welcome was the gorgeous belly dancer sounding her hand chimes and gyrating her tummy to the music. i think all of us were stunned by the ambiance. she took turns sharing her abilities around the establishment, and our table was no exception. her olive brown skin and toned body (she was no skinny mini) caught everyone's eyes, and all the while she kept the smile on her face throughout the arduous vocation. who knew that stimulationg aura was a precursor to the delectable food to come. i really thought the previous nights dinner of debbie's curry (she is burmese) would not be outdone, but the cuisine here was scrumptious. i ordered the mixed platter which came with a sampling of lamb, chicken, prawns and beef with a salad and condiments (hummus and horseradish type dish). i was so full and content at the end that i didnt partaek ein the baklava dessert simon, jacqui, and peter shared. i was glad for the restful day beforehand because i ws redy to crash after that high energy ordeal. i'm sorry i didnt have my camera to capture it, but it wont soon be forgotten in my memory.

there was no fighting crowds to get a good spot on the dancefloor, i didnt worry about the anxiety of riding my bicycle through busy city streets, my feet werent blistered and swollen, and i didnt have to fight to stay awake until 2am at the club. this is my idea of a meritorious evening...

3/19

though i'm on vacation, i was a bit perturbed at sleeping until 9:30am, but later when simon informed me that we were up until 3am, i felt much better. gosh, 3am? i cant remember the last time i made it up that late. going out to the clubs and biking home here in perth was almost that close, but friends at home can attest to the fact i'm first to bed, last one up usually!

i got to the beach and attemtped to change into my bathers (adapting aussie phrase) when to my horror i discover they arentin my backpack. i play over in my head and i swear i put then in my bag earlier this morning. i laugh to myself and think "of course they're in there". (i have a tendency to panic unwarrantedly). but, they arent in there. its as if a tidal wave of emotion catches me by surprise as i walk in a daze out of the restrooms. on a "normal" day, (if one exists) i might laugh or shrug it off, but the lingering conflict between simon and i is clouding my judgement. what i learned in therapy (gasp) is that i hear things that arent said when people give me feedback/criticism. no, its not voices in my head, its the perfectionist in me placing expectations on myself. so last night i heard simon say "i dont like you" and "you're a bad person", neither of which is true. at least now i'm aware its happening (as silly as it is) and i can battle the tendency to take it to heart. so as i'm doing this,the tsunami of realization hits that i dont know where my bathers are, and why is this happening to me? why me? how could you do such a stupid thing? all this self doubt and deprecation lambastes me. but, instead of the billow crashing down and ruining me, i change the outcome and ride it. thats right. oh look, there's a big wave, here it comes, hold your breath, CRASH its here, open my eyes, im still alive, ha ha ha wasnt that fun. did you see that? and i think, "hey man, thats cool".and i laugh at myself. i went from the verge of a mini breakdown to a comical realization. as if i was going to get upset about something so trivial! i dont even know where my suit is. maybe its in my room. maybe its at the train station where i took some contents out of my pack to get to my books. but who cares? i'm in western australia. the sun is shining. i have my health. my loved ones have thier health. i'm not a bad person! i did a silly thing. so what, i misplaced my bathers. most importantly, i have my sanity (you're thinking not after reading this entry)

i stay at the beach anyway. i dont have a swim. my day is not tarnished, and i enjoy the now. it didnt live up to my expectations of what i'd planned, but it was still special. how many of us can learn from this lesson! i start my walk back to the train station when i spot simon in his parked car. i suppose its not that much of a coincidence, but i found it a bit strange that i'd run into him in a city with more of a population than the state of maine! he's headed off to run errands and i accept his offer to accompany him. riding a bike around the city may not be my cup of tea, but being the passenger in a car for a tour of the outskirts of town is pleasureable for me. (although he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to) Ikea is a fun place to browse, after all we dont have that in maine, and i get all excited all over again about furnishing my new apartment. i'll save the purchases for when i get home. i find a shirt for AU$.50 at the GOOD SAMMY thrift store. and we get a chance to debrief about our conversation last night. at the conclusion, i'm not feeling like i'm overstaying my welcome anymore, and i think simon is pleased that his chat was well-received.

we get home in time to quickly change and head to his brother Chris's. have i mentioned that simon has 5 siblings? because lisa lives in england and johno is MIA, this completes the mission of meeeting his family (his mum is a whole other story). chris and debbie are as welcoming as the rest of the family has been, and Debbie cooks the most delicious indian cuisine. thier 18 month old baby is the main event, but first simon and i have a dip in their pool to cool off. debbie's 3 children from a previous marraiage are a focus of my gaze. you'll see in the photos they are beautiful people (maine doesnt get enough diversity). i regretfully inform simon on the way home that i didnt feel i gave them the energy and attention that i had when i met the other members of his family and he admitted he as well was tired. we were glad we had a chance to spend some quality time with them. they really are such soft, genuine, welcoming people. they represent australians well!

3/18

i admit i hadnt hurried to visit kings park because i consider myself more of a beach person. after all, most of maine seems like a park to me! boy was i wrong about this being a humdrum tourist destination. the locals are onto it, and seem to enjoy it fully. i loved seeing the businesspeople, tourists, teenagers, joggers, and retirees take advantage of the gorgeous 17 hectare botanic garden. it boasts 450 plant and 17 bird species. in the botanical garden section it is divided into regions of western australia, leading to a tree walk (similar to the prior one but not so elevated). the views of the city are amazing. looking over trees to see rivers surrounding the city. what a contrast for the towering buildings and traffic congestion mixed in with natural beauty. i realized i send a postcard of similar shots home during my first week in perth, not having set my eyes upon this very scene quite yet, and now standing here i feel things have somewhat come full circle. i can even gain my bearings as to where certain landmarks that i have been to are located. its a comforting feeling. the grounds are very well taken care of, and some of the grass is manicured similar to a golf putting green. i was in awe during every footstep along the park. i remember feeling that way about most everything when i arrived, and of course you cant keep that perspective of wonder for an extended time, but today it returned. i hope the photos give you a sense of how serene and stunning it was.

to get there is quite a long walk, so i went on a mini adventure and hopped on a bus to get there. trying to find which bus stop had route 37 without the map the lady at teh visitor center provided wasnt successful (i wanted to be self sufficient), so to my chagrin i stopped to pull out the map (what a tourist, ick) and with that found it rather handily. there are a lot of bus stops and bus routes! while waiting at the bus stop, i watched a lady in a business suit carrying about ten boxes of personal sized pizza boxes across the street. it reminded me of some of the questions that were posed when i answer the popular question "what do you to for a living". until i saw that image of the balancing act, i'd forgotten: "do you make coffee" and "do you run errands for your boss" and i cant help but wonder if they are basing thier connotation on the book/movie "the devil wears prada". i hope i didnt come across as rude, but i couldnt stifle the laugh upon those inquiries.

i'd cut my exploration a bit shorter than i would normally have, but this morning i was greeted with "can you cook dinner for mark and i tonight". it wasnt the task i minded so much as the delivery. i'm not much of a morning person and i didnt have my wits about me just yet. so i wasnt very enthusiastic about it then, but needed to get back. there were plenty of provisions leftover from mark's culinary prowess the night before so i pretty much duplicated the meal and had it ready for them when they got home. after dinner we rushed off to drop mark at the airport before simon and i headed to my last night of badmitton (going to rottnest island next week overnight 2 nites). i'm considering adding that to my trunk travelling goodies; a portable badmitton net so when i can find gluttons willing to play- bang! got a net right there/then, no getting out of it! its a problem being the youngest in the family, alwasy searching for someone to play with me. so sad, isnt it.

after badmitton, we resumed our tradition of happy hour activities (although much later than when camping) and simon was able to get some things off his chest. as with any relationship, when you dont communicate, emotionscan build up and become resentment, bitterness, and frustration. he'd been able to gain perspective from a friend and thus willing to talk to me about what has been bothering him. as much as i try to avoid conflict, i was impressed and proud of him for communicating. and that allowed me to share my point of view and now misunderstandings have opened up a new dimension of our friendship. i'm just so thankful for the opportunity to learn so much about myself AND about relationships. having expectations of people without communicating them will only end in frustration, which eventually builds into other negative emotions. i do the same and so being on the other end of it is helpful to see its really not that bad to express your feelings, even if it causes momentary discomfort. here i am priding myself on emotional intelligence (as opposed to IQ) and yet i have so very much to learn, and its very understandable we'd experience "bumps". i did drop in on his life after six years of keeping in touch, after one year of being friends, not even housemates, in tokyo.

after wine and conversation, we began working on making a seashell clock, which i'd be hard-pressed to pick a "best souvenier" between the clock and my tan. (the tan will fade but living in the moment its soulful). i was back to childhood development and fighting for my independence. i arranged the shells how i liked them but simon keeps badgering me about style and dorm and HIS IDEAS. hey man, its my creative expression! dont trammel my inspiration! ha ha. i do take his suggestions into mind and each day change some aspect of arrangement.

3/17

happy st. patrick's day! if i hadnt seen a few people in the city dressed in celebratory garb, one wouldnt know its any day out of the ordinary. i like to have an excuse to don something wild and crazy so usually i'm all about this day. i'll just have to make up for it next year. coworkers beware!

today was a rainy and perfect for doing errands. to keep up with the nickname my dad coined for me; amelda marcos, i bought a pair of footwear. i have to replace those terrible ones i brought with me anyway, and these are a fashion fad i picked up on immediately after arriving in perth. they're similar to a gladiator sandal and probably way out of style for central maine, but i'll just start a new trend. ha ha. they'll make a great conversation piece regardless. i am not a shopper (i consider frequenting goodwill to be treasure hunting), so i was exhausted by the end of four hours. and i went against my motto and looked for trinkets of gesture for people. its hard work finding that right souvenier. i didnt fair well, but i suppose the thought counts for something. when i got home it was decided that we'd have a night at home being marks last evening in town and he'd cook. unbeknownst to mark, simon left so when dinner was ready, we ate without him. as it turns out, understandably simon needed some alone time and to bounce some things off friends. i was content to let him be, but mark wanted to spend time with him, so a couple hours later mark called simon and request he come home. i wasnt feeling well anyway, so i retired early and let them catch up on thier own. i felt a bit uncomfortable with that feeling i'd overstayed my welcome and that my presence was no longer requested. i didnt don green, i didnt drink guinness, nor did i gorge on irish cuisine. sad.

3/16

a fairly uneventful day to report much newsworthy. but it was just the type of way i like to spend my vacation; you guessed it- another day at the beach! i'm amused at myself, after the fact, at how protective i am of my space. i was a bit annoyed that mark accompanied me to the beach. how rude am i! i am not berating myself, but its quirky how i long for companionship of friends in maine, yet i want nothing to do with spending time with mark. is it the embarrassment of how little i know about politics, geography, or other countries' customs? i avoid those topics of conversation because i dont enjoy them, and as a result, i am not knowledgeable about them. i guess my strenghts and interests lie more in social and spiritual energies. sometimes i do feel a bit "stupid" and worry about what kind of representation i'm making for my country, and then i remember simon's point that we all have strengths and weaknesses. world politics is not my strength. ensuring others laught is. (of course i almost hurt myself doing the ELAINE dance, and creep some people out with my PAT impression) anyway, we got to cottesloe and he went to the cafe, and i to the sandy beach which meant life for unsociable katy was all good once again. there is a lovely sculpture presentation going called sculpture by the sea, an annual event. i took some photos that i'll post on webshots. there are 50 of them surrounding the lifeguarded area of the beach. i'd put off my errands for the next day since simon reported rain was in the forecast. definitely want to save the day in the city for that weather! so i loitered at the seaside until timing it to be home upon simon's arrival. monday is our night to enjoy international filmsat the outdoor theater at simon's alma mater- the university of WA. so, mark, simon and i trotted of to arrive early for a picnic before the feature began. mark is an IT junkie and wants to switch from teaching english to get into creating software for devices like apple itouch. he was showing simon his itouch and i let my mind wander to other things. dont worry, its not that i'm not living in the moment anymore, but my mind checks out fairly easily lately when topics of conversation dont suit me. its not a good habit to get into, but i do allow the anticipation of returning home play out in my mind once in awhile. anyway, it gave simon and mark a chance to catch up a bit uninterrrupted and shortly after dark the film began. it was my favorite flick yet. dutch. called "just another love story", and the debut for australiasia (i had to ask what that was but the name is pretty self explanatory".

so, this morning, instead of an alcohol hangover, the lingering feeling of being out of place and very far from home last night left a bad taste in my mouth. simone has his 24 hour caring workshift today and i'd looked forward to a day exploring the city markets, but the train was closed for maintenance. there is a bus service available, but its not direct and rather inconvenient. instead, i hung out at "home", took a nap, nursed my sore feet, and when mark arrived i wasnt very warm and inviting. instead, i've been rather anti-social to he and the other 3 housemates living here. most of you'd wager i'm an extrovert, but i'm an introvert in that i need alone time to recharge. so, i'm doing what katy needs to do and not feeling guilty about it. i'm still living in the now, i'm present in my surroundings (was about 100 degrees today) but just going it in my own space. i love to sit on the veranda and watch. listen. sometimes read/journal and indulge my thoughts. but the changing color of the sky at dusk (my favorite time of night)the slight breeze, the distant train (restarted late afternoon), sight of peppermint trees (locals call them peppies), adn a flowering tree very reminiscent of vanuatu engage my attention. (good job being aware, katy) i'm totally slowed down, witnessing the day's end through many aspects. if you were here, you too would remain silent and soak up the ambience. its busy and peaceful at the same time. nature is busy, yet the stillness is eerie. the kind where you appreciate life so much it brings you to tears. i guess this is a glimpse of the inner peace i've been seeking all along. my senses are heightened and i'm basking in the glory of life.

who'd have thought 24 hours ago i'd feel the way i do right now? its a strange sensation: i'm sure my beats per minute are almost at sleeping phase, yet the adrenalin (excitment at life) is pumping through my veins. how can those two opposing senses be felt at the same time? (oh, but i'm ruining the moment with thought) just be in the now.

i suppose we need contrast, aka opposition to realize the highs. not that i'm healed and dont miss my comfort zone, but i'm in a much better place than i was last night, or even this morning. i'm not sure if its a case of being moody, or just the awareness of my emotions shows me how up and down (my) life is. although i bet most people feel that way any given day. its a frustrating feeling to not be happy where you are, and not necessarily because you want to be another place. i've felt that way so many times. hiking in snake territory, sweaty and itchy in a sleeping bag, sitting listening to gossipy conversation. i suppose i need to find the joy of being in that now, even if its not preferable. but thats all we have.

phew, it feels good to be caught up with blogs and photos. like i said before, i know not if i'll have much to report from here on out. until i get to sydney of course, but who knows what internet access will be like at my hostel, which i booked today. decided (especially after last night) to stay near the beach instead of right in the city. i can easily get in to see the sights during the day, and i'm not much into going out to pubs at night. i'll be heading home soon after, so wont really be up for meeting new friends. i'd rather be in natural surroundings, wrapping up my tour and preparing to head back home.

however, do stay tuned. one never knows what may arise in katy's thoughts! :)

3/14

we cruised on the way home, and other than pulling over to switch drivers, we only stopped once. we welcomed the down time after arriving back to hotham street to unload and settle in. simon insisted, against my wishes, to give me his bedroom while he uses the garage as his room. he says because its his house, its okay for HIM to feel intruded on, but i need a space of my own. which, along those lines, checking my emails upon return i was informed that i have my very own space awaiting me in hallowell!

i'm not sure i can express in words the prospect of having my own space in a town i love. perhaps, i dont need to, if you take time to recall that point in your own life you scored the abode that made you feel like your life was beginning. or maybe it wasnt a place, maybe it was a job, or a place, birth of a child, or even a wedding. if you can reflect on that time in your life, there's no need for my explanation. i'm sure most of you experienced it earlier than the age 33, but that doesnt matter. now is a time not to live vicariously, but instead relive through your own memory of that special time in your life. and revel in that wonder and hope. life gets stagnant, so take as much time as you possibly can to be soothed by that super energy you once felt.

i owe it to a dear friend who upon my request contacted the landlady, scoped out the place, and fanagled a deal. it is the ultimate favor and trust to expect a friend to go out on a limb like that. i'm confident it will prove to be the setting for the inner peace i'm going to discover in myself. i am relying on my intuition about the first moment i heard about the apartment. either way, it will be a good fit. and what a wonderful vibe to create before i even see it in person, that it was arranged with love.

gosh, i have been through so many emotions today. relief, excitement, satisfaction, gratitude, adn a strange sense of being "home" yet longing for "home". our three week trip commenced the same day i have a new aspect of life awaiting me. i'm sure you picked up on my growing pangs throughout the trip. i learned a lot about myself, about relationships, about compromise and making my needs known. but dont worry, simon and i have a stronger friendship because of it. i thanked him profusely for the special opportunity. most people dont visit WESTERN australia, much less if they do get out of perth to see the places and meet the people which exemplify the true life in western australia. i realize what a fantastic opportunity i've been given. even though the experience is fresh, i can still notice the clarity and love for the memories we created.

of course simon was eager to get out and reunite with friends and take advantage of the city life. as it happens, his friend he knew in tokyo announced he was here in perth. it took me by surprise, usually things like that dont happen at home. someone comes in from another country and pops on your doorstep. he'd had some time off, found a cheap flight from tokyo, and came to australia for the first time. quite a gamble, and lucky timing that we were back after being gone so long! he's only in town 5 nights. we bicycled to marks hostel in the city and then walked to a pub and then off to jacqui's house for appetizers and drinks. when his friend claire showed up the night changed from casual conversation to party mode. clair is theatrical and dramatic, which can be good energy, but i was exhausted and preferred the quiet gathering. but i was stuck. i tried to pull it off with a smile, and hopefully i didnt ruin the groove of the evening (i didnt appear to). the shoes i brought only to wear to get into pubs will be thrown out after this. they gave me blisters and my feet were killing me. when you dont know where you are or where you are going, distances are hard to judge, but we walked quite a bit. at times, i walked barefoot, but it wasnt safe or gentle. then we went dancing where obviously i wasnt feeling it, and then had to bike home. finally arrived at 2:30am. i already know the city life isnt really for me, but it only reiterated that last night. i'm okay with that, and hopefully simon will be, too. i dont want to be a party pooper, but i know my limits. i am much more content to chill out at home, even if its by myself. i've done the scene twice now. i've got my fill. i'm such a homebody!

3/13

simon and his sister wanted some one on one time to catch up, so i got dropped off in the city again, but this time i practiced living in the moment (as opposed to being "attached" to home) and enjoyed the lovely weather while people-watching, reading, and journalling. simon had given me his phone to alert me when they were done adn ready to pick me up. its so strange to think i havent texted or talked on a cell phone in five weeks. imagine that in your lives at home! its quite freeing i admit. againe, we had time to kill before we were welcome at his brother's house, so we hung out at emu point. we went for lunch at a japanese restaurant and simon had sushi, but i suppose i've become a sushi snob because i hold out for the hallowell restaurant cafe de bangkok. in my mind, nothing compares to it, and it didnt appear this held a candle to it, either. i had a terrible gyu don (beef and rice dish)which is a bummer because i so look forward to eating. living on the same thing night after night while camping, and most days in the city munching for breakfast and lunch, its a treat to have a proper meal. made up for that later in the evening, though! simon found shade under a tree (see photo) and we did justice to our last day of the trip relaxing by the water's edge. i love watching others enjoy it as well. we headed to julians for a perfect closure of the trip, since we began our trek and ended it wiht them. however, tonight we stayed at thier house in town as opposed to the one in cheynes beach. julian was a star and helped simon wash/wax the car and check fluids/pressure for our five hour drive north the next day. after putting the kids to bed, the four adults got their play time. julian got out his guitar and we sang tunes for hours. its a wonderful feeling, both to have made new friends, and to feel part of the family.

3/12

i didnt have a good sleep and dont feel rested at all. and for those of you who already know, i'm not a morning person to begin with anyway. during the night, my feet started burning and itching as if i'd stepped on a mound of biting insects. i woke up from a slumber to a great deal of pain and could hardly resist the urge to scratch. vehemently. the only relief was pouring water on the burning sensations. in the morning when i emerged from my tent, there were traces of bites on both feet as well as up my legs. it brought back terrible memories of having bed bugs when i backpacked around new zealand. the least of my problem was feeling dirty and unkempt, but the worst was the powerful urge to scratch obsessively. it seems the warmer the skin is, the worse the itchy sensation, which is bad news living in south pacific climate.

i was up and at 'em; packed and ready to go early. but, first breakfast duty! using the common grill proved to be much easier than yesterday's debachle with the camp stove. i admit i was on the brink of a breakdown. i had all the food prepared, cooking, only for the flame to be blown out by a gust of wind. the spot was overlooking the beach which was great for the vista, but not for protection. so i lugged all the provisions over to our campsite and proceeded to clear away a safe spot on the ground, only to kick over the methaline spirits and empty the container, which meant i had to use the last of the ration. i was tired and frustrated, but managed to "keep it together" but was a sure sign of my love of living in the rough wearing thin. i'm just not one of those people who use cooking as a tool to show thier love and appreciation. i know men and women who are like that. i am not there. yet. perhaps when i get home and develop a routine, and after practice i'll gain the confidence to be able to express my love THROUGH food. until then, i'll express my love OF food. i'm very confident in that! :)

simon put the dishes in a bag as fast as we bagged the campground. the weather was again crappy, and we would use the conveniences at his sister's house for cleaning and feeling "new". however, it turns out becky wouldnt be ready for us until afternoon, so simon dropped me off in teh city center of albany and he ran errands. i went straight to the internet cafe to blog and upload photos. there is supposedly a super souvenier shop called WOMBAT LODGE (many of you got a kick out of the wombat photos), but i must warn you i'm not a souvenier kind of person. have i already gone on about this? if so, i'm sorry for the repetition. i feel a need to explain. i may have offended loved ones in the past, but i dont like to give gifts for the sake of living up to commercialism expectations to give at holidays and birthdays. but, if i see something that catches my eye i know the person would enjoy, i'll pick it up for "no reason." so i'm having a hard time with the fact so many of you were crucial to my success in getting here, yet not wanting to get (what i consider to be) junk. i hope some of my photos could provide to be souveniers and i'll try to get tokens of appreciation, but i hoep you dont feel shunned or put off if you're expecting something.

met up with simon to head to becky's where we immediately emptied the car for a major cleaning and did a couple of loads of washing. we enjoyed another lovely evening with their family and todd, (simons brother in law) shared the photo album of thier 7 month tour around the country before they were married. now, like you, it was my turn to live vicariously through photograpahs. there is some really gorgeous and varied landscape throughout the country. much like ours, but i cant speak through experience. they went up to the kimberly, the region the movie AUSTRALIA was filmed, all up the north coast, to the east coast, and then across the southern part. armchair travel. my kind of thing!

3/11

i was a bit confused about why all the driving we'd done, as we'd already been through denmark to get to albany back to our campsite. simon explained that the weather was his factor and that hitting little beach in albany in prime weather was the priority. no argument here! it was a gloomy day so we went into town to get provisions and check our email for a few minutes. he had business to attend to, and i was hoping for word about my new potential living abode. no emails from the owner, but a friend gently reminded me to live in the present and stop worrying about things that were eons away. after all, i'm in australia! oh, yeah! i revelled in that notion for quite awhile. i'm actually here. funny how the anticipation and preparation was all-encompassing, but relatively soon after i arrived, routine was established once again and i found this to be comfortable. after all, "wherever you go, there you are". i've been bogged down with my thoughts and survival here (during our 3 week trip that i forgot the wonder and amazement of being in australia. it goes to prove; no one can live at that adrenalin pace for too long. its hard to believe when we return to perth, i only have two weeks left. and for awhile, time had come to a complete standstill! its all about perspective.

we went to another beach we'd missed on the way through called madfish bay, but the balmy weather drove us away as quickly as we arrived. (good choice beaching it yesterday, simon) there's no disagreement from me to return to our tents where we can retire for reading and napping and escape the misty precipitation. but, only after we return to the meadery/ honey winery! our first stop there had me craving a healthy homemade snack, similar to a rice crispie treat, but honey instead of marshmallow with nuts and sunflower seeds and dried cranberries. oh yeah, and a non-dairy soy ice cream of honey and cocount flavor. we made it back to cozy corner- descrptive of the nooks set along side the road (beachside) with just enough space for tents. some enough for campers. around 1:30pm we exiled to our tents and i only got a few thoughts on paper before dozing off into a wonderful and deep nap. i awoke to simons announcement that it was raining and to put the flaps of my tent down, so we headed to shelly beach nearby. (drove) at the lookout was a platform for parasailers to jump off, but it was hardly visible with rain in the eyes. however, down at the beach was enough shelter (from those domes everywhere) and we walked the length of the beach collecting sea shells. i'm not convinced the reason for the namesake of the beach, as it was scarce pickin's, but we did find a few treasures with persistent searching. and, by the time we returned it was time for simon to cook dinner (i had brekkie duty). its not much fun camping when the weather's drab, but it was a good day overall.

i asked to switch cooking duties so that i could cook while it was light out. cooking dinner when i'm scared of the dark and cant see was not enjoyable. although i do love the camp stove simon has. its fueled my methaline spirits and so much less scarier to use than gas. simon just got done slaving over a campfire to cook tonights cuisine. i've really come to enjoy when i'm not cooking or driving. my appreciation for many things has improved on this trip. its easy to take things for granted when you're in a comfort zone. routine. most of the day has been spent relaxing at the site. i've been moving spots to sit in the sun. simon and i went for a walk along the river and then later in the afternoon went up river to a small dam for a swim. it kinda creeped me out but at least there was moving water (less leech likeliness) and i had to get my daily swim in. time is endless and i love it! except when night falls and anxiety sets in. where does the time go, really? i arrived one month ago today, although i have done a lot, i dont expect my last two weeks here in western australia to be very eventful. i will visit a couple of places on my list of the city, and rottnest island, but other than that i'll probably be a beach bum and revel in my down time.

i'm sensitive to the fact that many of you are reading this blog to merely follow along with daily events, perhaps even enjoying an anecdote here and there. i'm aware the reflection and personal disclosure may be more than you bargained for, but its my part of self-compassion regime. i'm attempting to be less of a caretaker for others, worrying less about what you like and dont like. we're all adults, we can take what we want and leave the rest. and, i'm going to be less shy about asking for things. so, be prepared to help me move my belongings when i get home! ha ha..

3/10

last nights experience campign much much less frightening. the sound of the kookuburra (birds), knowing what they were, didnt make me feel like i was in the middle of the jungle. and simon explaining how cold blooded reptiles (like snakes) dont like being out at night helped me. i was also accustomed to the falling brances and peeling bark of the karri trees. often times, bark landing in the bushes nearby can be mistaken for footsteps. see, GI JOE was right in his advertisement "knowing is half the battle" (or whatever that slogan came from) still sticks in my head and rather poignant now. i'm not saying i'm fearless, but certainly having some facts instead of letting my imagination roam wild is useful!

we did about four hours driving to get east of albany to simon's favorite beach (besides esperance), little beach. and i can certainly see why. as usual, the domes, made of granite from molten lava way back (to answer your question) tower the white sand beach with a protected cove. we allowed ourselves about four hours here, which was totally in honor of me. i suupose thats one of the beauties of having so long here in Western australia is that i can be a beach bum and still see the sights! i'm loving this lifestyle! there's always oppportunity for exploring as i've mentioned before that simone likes to do. we went adventuring together and then he took an extended tour while i lay in the sun making use of my books/journals. but, soon enough, back to a strict schedule to get to gran's house to visit her before moving on to our new campsite. it was a smart move to cook and eat while at her house, and having a hot shower was lovely. by the time we left, it was already dark, and when we arrived at cozy corner (between albany and denmark) we had company while setting up camp. simon didnt know what it was and guessed it was a bush rat. oh my god! if so, this was the biggest rat i've ever seen, even new york city rats on tv. he supposed it could be a marsupial. i convinced myself it was that. you know me, scairdy cat of the dark. all i could think about was that thing riping through my tent in the middle of the night. it certainly wanst shy, but not aggressive, either. sure enough, when i awoke mere hours into my slumber, the first thing i thought about was that unidentified mammal lurking in the dark. but, the bladder overruled fear, and i went outside my safe haven just long enough to pee. (the next day in town at a store i looked it up and we think its a quodda but i have to google it. my memory isnt so keen)

3/8 today we had a late breakfast (cooking for 8 does that) and the kids played while simon, lisa, and i chatted about dangers in respective countries. i've been freaked out totally and envisioned snakes slithering into my tent while i'm sleeping. they arent hunters and just want to keep out of my way. simon's fact there are 22 of the worlds 25 deadliest snakes here in australia doesnt help calm my nerves! i really appreciate maine for its relatively low hazards. they found stories of getting sprayed by skunks amusing. and i resisted tempation to really play up moose attacking us like bulls. :) the risk of driving in inclement weather and the possibility of crashing into animals seems minimal to whats happening here (bush fires, sharks, snakes) so remind me of that next time you hear me complain about snow/ice!

after our comparisons, we headed to the beach and then parted ways to come to this pristine spot that we visited before for two, maybe 3 nights camping. i've been spoiled by running water, electricity, and campers kitchens, none of that going on here! we dont even have neighbors!

at a camping spot in warren national park. the buzzing of the flies distracts me from the journalling or writing a letter. its forefront in my thoughts and when i try to ignore it, it still permeates my surroundings. how do horses/cows survive? some are the biting type, some are like house flies. so not only is there the threat of being targeted as a snack, but also the constant sound of insects cannot be ignored. its frustrating that i cant control my annoyance, but i'm trying to just be aware of the sensations without placing emotion (like frustrated and annoyed)

in the blessed moments the flies have disappeared, the serenity of the setting becomes illuminated. (does that term refer only to light/color?) the chirping birds, the occasional splash in the river, the bubbling water running over the rocks upstream soothes and calms me. simon's napping in his tent and i fight the sleepy feeling so i can slumber deeply throughout the night. see, i'm afraid of the dark. i'm afraid of the snakes lurking in the bush, i'm afraid of so many things! feedback i've received over the years (most of it from you blog readers) is that i convey myself to be confident, adventurous, and brave. i suppose even i cant deny that my life experience resume speaks to that theory. yeet, there are fears and anxieties that keep me from doing things. specifically on this trip: snakes keep me from hiking and exploring, leeches keep me from enjoying a dip in the river to cool off, lack of confidence keeps me from revelling in the chance to drive on the "wrong" side of the road, worry of being a bad chef keeps me from accepting the duty of cooking, the dark keeps me from going to the toilet at night. there are much more fears relevant to more important things: like getting my heart broken again (relationships), failure (resisting going into teaching as a career) and so on. we ALL have fears. i get that. i suppose it is the perfectionist in me taht wont allow faults or flaws. i dont place judgement on others for letting those types of fears hinder them, in fact, it rather endears me to you! yet, it must be what keeps me from seeing what you see in me. i feel like a wimp for not exploring more on foot, like a jerk for being annoyed that simon cant let a whole album play through (instead of fumbling with the music every other song) and a brat for being bitter about having to drive half the trip. so, i dont see that i'm adventurous (why cant i be more like him/her) or brave (so and so would do that no problem) or confident (how's my blog proof for that!). i want to be those things. i want to exonerate those characteristics.

i talked this all over with simon, and shared how i came up with the solution to start comparing myself to other people who are "less" adventurous, brave, etc. perhaps i'm just out of my league and need to think of it a bit differently. i know telling myself not to compare at all is not realistic. its so hard to gain a self concept without comparing and getting a feel for where one stands in life. however, simon had very good advice. instead of focusing on the characteristics i'm "lacking", how about looking at those people as a whole? we all have strenghts and weaknesses. we all are great at some things, and not at others. aha! that works for me. i do have other things that stand out. its my own sickness (i call it that but should be nicer about it) to see life that way. its a bad habit i want to change. i'd love to be the person you all think i am. i dont want to be on a pedestal or fake. i think this blog has proved that. but, i would rather see myself for the amazing person that i am, rather than from the point of view of what i'm not. baby steps. being aware. keep at it!

3/7 gotta love craigslist! its how when i was in vanuatu in the peace corps that i found the fantastic apartment castine and i shared. which is what spawned being consumed all day long by thoughts of a potential gem of a place in hallowell. i have yet to see any pictures of the place, but on paper, it proves to hasve many of the characteristics i've been channelling with my energy. just like oprah suggests for finding the "right" mate, i made a list of what i'm looking for. the ONLY thing it doesnt fit is the price. probably the major one, eh! but, after pondering and doing the numbers, if i dont have the living space i need (want) to be peaceful and nurturing, then all the other budgetary factors dont mean squat. money to be social wont be needed because i'll hole myself up. there are things i cant economize because they're set prices. the only thing i can try to do is try my best to make it work. there'd be no need to go out for dinner when i can host (potluck) and then walk into town for live music. i dont know if its even a good match just yet, but hoepfully with a friends help i'll be able to do some research. its within walkign distance to hallowell, close to work, has a garden area, will allow for a dog (ready for lifestyle change needed), sunny, first floor, and painting the walls is allowed. i dont know what will happen with it, but i engaged in a dreamy scene and decided what i'm willing to compromise on. (dont worry mom/dad, i'll still be able to pay my bills and you back slowly) its a lot to ask probably to keep my job with the best boss ever AND spot-on place. can i cash in my good kharma? (i think i already used it up scoring this trip)

on our way from dunsborough to augusta (its true! a town called augusta) first stop was canal rockes where cindy told us she saw a sting ray swim through so big it had to lift its wings to get through. so when simon and i stood on the bridge, we were both in awe at the size of it! also interestingly enough, a nearby school requires students to jump from theh bridge as part of character development. it couldnt be required on a day like today; the current and waves are bashing against the rocks. i suppose its similar to a high ropes challenge course. on our way back to the car, the law of attraction was proved yet again. a big brown snake crossed our paths (but not close enough to be in danger but i got a good look at it). and mind you, big brown isnt just an adjective; is the name of a deadly snake. i was going to say "very deadly", but i suppose deadly is as descriptive as one can get in that matter. it has a greenish tint to it, which is different than the snake i saw near the river. and come to find out that tiny one i wasnt bothered by could have been a jugyte, another deadly snake. so it happened: all this ridiculous amount of concentrating on the worry of seeing one. funny thing, i'm less phobia'ed about it now. it really was trying to get away (darn quick bugger it was) i'm trying to be "over it". i dont want to keep honing in on it and i cant control whats meant to happen. i dont think i'm destined to share this amazing experience with you to end so dramatically. all i can do is to be as diligent as i can about not stepping on one, and then go from there. MUCH easier said than done.

other stops along the way included a winery. this wasnt nearly as lovely or memorable as i had romanticized. we came, we tasted, we bought an expensive bottle, we went. come to find out afterwards, simon wasnt keen on the idea. i'd imagined a horse drawn buggie through the groves of grapes and then seeing how its made, only to taste out of the barrels themselves. i've attended better wine tastings at home! it was fairly fancy, and not personal at all. they didnt want much to do with us, as if the bartenders couldnt be bothered to pour sips of wine into our glasses. oh well. i got two pictures of the even (none of us in it) and chalk that up to experience. of course we had our daily swim at a beach, and stopped for a brief break at a forest of karri trees. there was a smaall parking area we took advantage of. most used it to park, take a photo of the road and scenery, and continue on. but simon knew of a path (ooh beware of snakes katy thinks. after all, i just saw one!) into the wooded area and we found a fallen tree as a log to perch on. we stayed for quite a bit until ants bit simon and we moved on. you'll see photos of of the road, and simon on a log- so now you know why! i really appreciate those breaks in my day- and i never know when they come about. (simon directs me to "stop here" or "turn here" or if he's driving he pulls into a spot.

i meant to get a photograph of me in front of a sign of augusta, but it didnt happen. we came here to visit simon's sister lisa's best friend whose name is also lisa. sister lisa is living in england, but friend lisa and simon have kept in touch over the years. they have a beautiful new spot in the country and i was amused at all the different types of trees in their yard. we were instantly greeted with authenticity by her partner john, and their kids shannon, caitlyn, and abbey. there were also a few of the kids friends there, so it was a frenzy upon our arrival. even after the friends left (one stayed you'll see in the group photo) the frenzy continued as simon chased them all around the house and they were having a great time screaming, while i chatted with lisa. we had a great night of hors de hoerves and champagne (champers as simon calls it) singing karaoke, barbequeing and then sitting up after the kids went to bed chatting about this or that. i actually went be relatively early to let simon and lisa chat and i think john was doing some work on the internet. they were very welcoming, and again allowed me another chance to view genuine australian lifestyle, and hearty conversation.

3/5

we got a later start than normal this morning, most likely because i was in charge of breakfast and i'm not skilled at it. during one of our debriefings, simon admitted he felt like he was doing all the work, so i begrudgingly gave into cooking the next few meals. i'm just not confident in my abilities. cooking for myself is one thing. having the pressure to cook for someone else is entirely different (coming from the bachelorette). simon took me to a national park to view the beautiful karri trees which are only found in a relatively small area in western australia. first stop: the bicentennial tree. its a massive tree with a tree climb built into it in 1988. i have no qualms about reporting that i chickened out climbing it, but i did watch simon do it. i went a few rungs, but my horror at the equipment didnt even allow me the fear of heights (because i didnt get that high). there's no way such a structure would be available to teh public in america because of the liablity of someone falling. the viewing platform at the top (75m) weighs over two tons, which certainly gives you an idea of how strong these trees are. the bottom where its thicker is a gradual ascent, but as the trunk gets thinner, the climb gets steeper. the is no "tying-in" and if you fall and slip, the wire fencing i'm sure would not support you. both of us were surprised that no one has died there. its not manned, and most people missed the interpretave signage that explains that only 4 people are allowed on the platform at once. you'll see from the photos that simon took, that it gives a good view of how people kept watch for fires in the olden days.

we moved onto a winding drive through the forests, which was spectacular! at time there was barely enough room to fit the car through the trees. the karri trees enveloped us as we drove through the commanding trees. the took the opportunity to get out and walk alon the river, and it was so peaceful and energizing. simon compromised his idea of one person walking a stint while the other one drove to meet up, and then switch places. my fear of snakes just wouldnt allow me to do that. so, we walked together to a point and retraces our steps. we traipsed in silence through the unspoilt land, stepping over fallen bark of the trees. because karis grow so tall, their branches fall off so that only at the tops of the trees is there expansion, while the trunk grows high and tall. after back in the car simon announced he wanted to come back through here on our way home and camp, which i emphatically agreed to. you cant duplicate that kind of energy and serenity. i love the beach and find the ocean to be soothing, but nothing can replicate being in the forest surrounded by trees, river, and birds. it reminded me of my annual canoe trips which i look forward to resuming this summer. a week canoeing on the allagash- that sounds like vacation to me!

heading west again, we made a stop in busselton for a swim at the beach. simon, again looking out for my best interests, left me on the sand to soak up soulful warmth and did some errands in the city center. i'm sure some of you shake your head and think i'm just here to get a tan and missing out on the experience. but its more than trying to brown up my skin, its about the soothing energy of the sun. i joked how this trip was an expensive depression medication, but there is truth in the seriousness of escaping the gloom of winter and having two summers. i realize i cant do this every year, so i'll committ to seek activities to lessen my hatrid of winter at home. in the meantime, i will take advantage of the weather and be a sponge for nature's ability to recharge and rejuvenate me. another thing simon thinks is quite foolish of me is my want to use the internet so often. he sees it as missing an opportunity to experience the moment, yet i explain that being here is meaningless to me if i cant share it with loved ones. i take notes, in fact try to make time to write it out while its still fresh so you get teh best chance of living vicariously. and i suppose its not as altruistic as that, because it will serve me in the future when i want to reflect on my trip. anywho, back to blogging, because of the situation in the landscape of teh coast, this beach is very sheltered from wind, but also allows for jellyfish to lurk about. i didnt feel them, but simon and others swimming commented on the "stingers".

we made it to cindy's about 4:30pm and she put us up for two nights. here sister mandy, who is a famous artist (mandy evans you can google), hung out for the evening. the four of us enjoyed a delicious homecooked meal, viewed the half moon through her telescope (simply amazing. i've never seen before) and then walked 3 minutes to the coean and sat by the moonlight to sing songs to mandy's guitar while we enjoyed australian wine. i joked that australians really know how to live, but i seem to just be very lucky because (as they pointed out) not everyone has the benefit of living so close to the ocean (it just so happens most of the friends and family simon has taken me to visit do. i went to bed earl and let the three of them carry on. i feel the effects of travelling settling in. i'm less patient and flexible and wanting the comforts of home. i'm sure being back in perth and having simons house as a home-base will help, although i'll no longer have my own room there as the other housemate came back. the loss of allure is not hindering my enjoyment, but i am aware that the yearning for security/stability is present. i'm not loving the feeling of being on the move all the time, living out of my rucksack, and lack of personal space. however, i'm still appreciate and grateful to be here. its probably healthy to miss home and yearn for my routine. because like it or not, a month from now i'll have it back and this will all be a memory.

3/4

leaving parry beach, we hit some other beaches along the way that were rather, dare i say, hum-drum. from teh onset, we have had at least one swim a day. if we're travelling we'll at least stope for a dip and continue on. this was my first non-ocean swim day, but a swim nonetheless. now that we have left the coastal area, the scenery has changed to lush forest, which reminds me of maine. the roadkill of roos is ever-present and as my mother pointed out, the hazard is similar to hitting deer, although there are several more roo carcuses. many vehicles have a metal bar on the front as part of the frame (called a roo bar) but its only for the cars benefit, not the roos. we saw a wild emu on the side of the road, and several lizards attempting to cross (which we avoided). i have not become more comfortable behind the wheel, and the narrow roads with no shoulder isnt helping. driving, along with cooking, are activitis i need to stop resisting and just accept. i find myself bitter about being "forced" to do these things, but i have the power to control my reaction to the events. accept what is, and work towards the highest level of enthusiasm doing it! i'm barely at the first stage of acceptance. it will be bittersweet to finish our 3 week tour. i'll be glad/relieved the driving is over, and yet, it will signify the impending conclusion of my trip. so, i'm not wishing time away, but i'm not doing a good job of living in the moment, am i?

he took me to this place where you can walk high in the forest and overlook the canopy of tingle trees. its called the tree top walk, and a structure is built which feels like a suspension bridge. it bounces and sways, but allows you to walk high above some trees tree-line for amazing views. you'll see pictures of us and i got a kick out of relating it to my job in the environmental office as part of the department of transportation! it was a transportation in and amongst the treetops. fantastic!

we stopped at walpole, another cute town for lunch. it was quite amusing to watch onlooker's faces as we filled our bellies like only starving vagabonds can do. we bought a whole roast chicken and dove in with our bare hands, munching every last morsel of the bones, and gorging on chips (fries) which i had to pay extra for tiny packets of tomato sauce (ketchup), so vinegar became the condiment of choice. we took our leftovers, which we enjoyed that evening for a cookless dinner at our campsite. its amazing how when youve been living off the same food for days how yummy and otherwise ordinary meal can taste!

simon took me to shannon dam in the river to go swimming, but i was creeped out by the murky water. simon says it was tannins from the clay (like the wine i drink?) but he had a swim while all i could think about was leeches and weeds. he was a bit disappointed as he wanted to show me the difference in freshwater swimming (which i'm familiar with, but i promised to swim in the next river...

we made our way to pemberton where i laughed aloud at the sight of a best western. it was a dainty small town with that at its center. here was a swimming pool in the river! it was dammed off and the banks were concrete with provided slabs for diving and a ladder. it was an interesting site to swim in a river pool, surrounded by gorgeous trees.

3/2 esperance yha

although we could have camped the rest of the trip, it was as if the weather was doing us a favor by bringing rain. simon's got visits with friends planned and it was time to move on, although we were so loving where we were! simon "splerged" on a youth hostel to ensure we kept dry and could enjoy the conveniences of electricity and beds. we'd had showers at the campground but it was nice to get clean, and stay clean (sometimes). it was cold and rainy, so we cooked a proper lunch in the huge kitchen space (steak and salad) just in case you arent familiar with the hostel concept, they are also referred to as backpackers, and it is accomodation where you pay for a bed and use of all the facilities that are shared. in most cases, the option to get your own private rom with even a queen bed is available, however mostly its multiple bunk beds in one room. (for those of you who are aware i've got a bunk bed phobia, perhaps its from my hostel traveling days). its a cheap way to travel, and you can imagine the ability to meet people from all over the world. the owner was kind enough to suspend her plethora of sheet-washing so that we could do a load of laundry. simon was able to recharge batteries and his cell phone, but we were off by 8am the next morning for our long drive west.

3/3

we shared shifts and stopped in a town called Denmark to stretch our legs. simon is familiar with the area so he took me on a path around the river. this is where i get a sight of my first "real" snake; the kind i've been paranoid about (minus the bright colors, but there are still deadly solid colored ones as well) as usual, simon was in front, but as we passed a peculiar noise lurking in the grass, i noted the tail end of a thick, black snake slithering into the grass beside me. (which i quickly made BEHIND me). simon didnt see it, but later admitted he'd heard the sound but didnt want to alarm me. others i've told dont really believe me (although that hardly matters to me) and suggest it was probably a skink (lizard). i wasnt in any danger, but it reiterates my phobia! in town, simon points out that denmark is a "hippie town" and you get that feel by the quaint shops and long-haired townsmen. i instantly fall in love with the community and romanticize about living in such a laid-back town. but then to my joy, i remember my destination of soon-to-be residence hallowell. ha! i dont know about you, but somehow its easier to overlook the wonder that surrounds me in daily life at home, but when travelling normally ordinary things become wonderous. like this town, for example, or the bagel at the cafe simon brought me to in fremantle. i dont mean to hone in on hallowell per say, but that scrumptious cuisine at the cafe reminded me of slates and how i never "allow" myself to splerge and treat myself to something (unless its a social gathering with friends and even then i feel guilty). the same here: i'm on a strict budget, however i'm learning its important to splerge for yourself once in awhile. its a given when your kid wants/needs something, or buying a gift for a loved one, but it doesnt come easily regarding myself. i'm envious of people who carry money in thier wallet/purse and when the urge strikes for an iced coffee or a snack, they indulge and stop at a convenience store. there's no rehearsal to life, so why am i holding back? money, like time, can be seen as an enemy or friend. i am sure some of you may find it hard to believe; seeing me across the world on vacation; that i'm rich or lucky. but its all been about choices to get there. i'm not trying to defend my opportunity, but make the point that we all can have the little daily treats or dream trips if we learn to juggle our needs with our wants. personal satisfaction should be in everyone's monthly budget. after all, we gotta live with earnest, not just subsist. dont wait for a vacation to appreciate the great weather days or to bask in the culinary cuisine in the area. do it now! live with attention. live with intention!

soapboxes- phew! gotta love 'em. :) we ended up at parry beach in a caravan park to set up camp and once again, enjoy happy hour at the ocean's edge. we searched for shells and it was determined that simon will teach me how to make one of the clocks he used to make. you may have noticed an example posted in webshots (made of shells and local sand). i was collecting in bulk but simon reprimanded me to pick only the best. his eye is much keener so i've kept his treasures separate. in the past, i've collected shells from various beaches, and they've just become clutter. this time, i'm committing to actually using them!

3/1

turns out this will be our last fully day at this spot. in the morning we drove a terribly corrugated dirt road to rossiter point. each beach is different from the next but most of them have that perfect nook, protected from the wind that simon can explore with his goggles. as this one does, too. simon went traipsing off and with the clouds hiding the sun i went back to the car to retrieve my books/journals. its on this short trek that i see my first snake, however, it wasnt the gargantuan one i've imagined; this was smaller than garter snakes i've seen at home. and without bright markings i figured it wasnt deadly. mind you, i didnt pick it up to pet it, either! my fears should be alleviated, no big deal that i saw a branch that moved (bascially is what it looked like but it was a snake. it slithered off) but, the worry is still there, wondering when the time will come. did i tell you about the spider at the beach house thats was th size of the bottom of a coffee can? i've never seen such and enormous arachnid. it was on the wall near the ceiling and julian called the kids in from outside to see it. "hey, look at that" he pointed as i think to myself "that aint no daddy long legs!" oh yeah, and i'm sure i mentioned the marsh flies that are like horseflies? i spend a chunk of my day waiting for them to land on me so i can kill them. not very buddhist of me, i know.

simon decides to walk the two hour trail marked MEDIUM back, and of course i want nothing to do with that which works out so i can drive the car back. remember the state of that road? it is a hubcap monster. just waiting to get my tires. you know how sometimes being a passenger in a car you wonder if its really as bad/dangerous/bumpy/icy as it seems? with me in the drivers seat, it was worse! if felt like the never-ending-go too fast your gonna skid-go any slower and you might stall_ gravel road one tries to avoid in life. finally, the road crested and pavement was in sight, more more awe-inspiring was the view of the bay which was now speckled with two sailboats and one motorboat/yacht type money pit. i admit, i was envious. me, the target of which i'm sure many of you would trade places for thei strip, and i was wanting what another had. how dare i! my mother let me accompany her on a couple weekends with her friends who owned a sailboat. since then, i fell in love with the idea of living on a sailboat. okay, i admit live is a bit extreme, but a weekend hiatus would be lovely. can anyone arrange that for me? :) its important to network and make one's needs/wants known. see, i AM learning! ha ha (bear with me: lots of alone time)

when simon returned i was writing postcards while soaking up the sun and i resisted the temptation to feel tuilty and ashamed for sitting on my butt. the monk that speaks friday nights in perth says guilt is only a way of disliking yourself and placing hate on your actions. and i so love the feeling of the warmth on my skin that the thought is fleeting. and it turns out in our happy hour debriefing, that he's a bit impressed that i can just sit sill for so long. its almost a form of meditation. its not JUST that i'm working on my tan, but i'm totally in the moment when i'm laying in the beach. the ocean waves crashing in, the sound of the birds, the feel of sunlight on my skin warming me down into my soul, my steady breath up and down, its all a way of feeling the energies of the earth and soaking it all up. its truly tantalizing. i'm very intuned to both what is going on inside me,and outside of me, so i accept simon's point of view. i'm not lazy, i'm just ultimately relaxed and in the moment

2/28

simon took off for a stroll around lucky bay and explored the area. he'd invited me but i'm in need of alone time, as well as not trying to keep up with him for awhile. its wearing on me to always be lagging behind. anyway, i ws unable to prepare our breakfast because two brazilians had monopolized the cooking area, so i went down to the beach. it was a bit chilly but there were still a few enjoying nature's offering despite the cold air. and then i suppose the sign that i had too much alone time came as i considfered what if something happened to simon and i played that drama out in my head. as i sit here now i wonder "why do i have so many worries?" i try hard not to attach emotions and just be aware, however, it is very frustrating to me. i let thoughts of worry and anxiety keep me from enjoying the moment. anywho, i wanted to get out of my head for a bit, so went for a stroll down the white sandy beach and ended up crossing paths with simon. (of course he was fine)

later that day we got in the car and drove to the other side of the national park to Le Grand beach which has the only other camping nearby. those sites were more as i'd imagined (separate sites per party), but it was immediately apparent we'd chosen the better beach. it lacked the personality of the other beaches we've seen. and so just as i'd picked my spot in the sand simon informed me he wanted to check out another beach we hadnt explored yet called hellfire. this ws another "wow" place. simone and my idea of lounging at the beach is very different. his mantra for his holiday, and for going camping was to "get bored". as he likes to explore and always be moving, i am quite content (and prefer) to lie on one place for hours on end, getting up only to enjoy the crisp, clean ocean treasure. but, we are both satisfied doing our thing while the other indulges in his/her own desires. i'm really beginning to see the luxury of being single and on my own course. however, i believe i'm getting a taste of how a relationship works as well. i'm rather spoiled in that i've forgotten what compromise and flexibility sharing your life with someone can be (kids, too). i'm sure most of you are nodding your head and smirking "common sense" under your breath to me. again, the facade that the grass is greener comes to play. take a moment now, to appreciate your momen. live in the present. dont wish for more or different or past or future. now is a gift!

we ended the evening with our ritual of happy hour at the water's edge. because it was so windy we sat out on the rocks, protected by a little cove. when thoughts of homesickness arise (and they do), i'll think of special moments like these to keep me in the present. our happy hours are a perfect time to debrief our day, which usually consists of simon recapping his adventures, and i get a chance to talk aloud about my thoughts i journal. i get feedback from him, and get to thank him for helping me see all the things i'm learning about myself. i realize it may sound like i'm unhappy at times with him, but i recognize its all part of my growth. no matter what transpires at any moment, whether i'm biking, hiking, or just thrown off by his "demands", i'm always able to appreciate his friendship. i think any relationship that is authentic will always be appreciated. it doesnt always have to be positive, or challenging, or any label to it. genuine, authentic sharing and being who you are is a great way to build a rapport with another soul. and if you're lucky, you'll get that in return and both will be better people for it. its hard to be authentic sometimes. its easy when things go your way. trust in yourself. and then be yourself. and there's authenticity!

2/26

the drive to esperance seemed long and daunting. i suppose its because i've been so spoiled and time has basically stood still since i've been here. i've been totally on my own schedule. simon and i each had two stints driving just over an hour each. we cover more ground under his control as i still feel timid with the odometer reading 110. its only about 65mph but it just seems a faster speed than at home. simone had a camping spot already in mind, and that is one bonus to me taking a turn driving so he can navigate and plan out our destination. i wouldnt go so far as to label simon as "controlling" but he certainly can be particular about what he likes, thinks, etc. although, we have had an open, honest chat about the situation. it seems we've worked out a system that he cooks breakfast and i diner. although it turns out he's more directing while i'm DOING. i suggested that if he wants to delegate the duty to me, then hd whould let me handlel it. which is part of the "new katy" shining through. i'm usually more comfortable forgoing any "complaints" to avoid confrontation. but, its not confrontational to speak my truth. it will cease any bitter feelings. another thing i brought up was perhaps he could learn to give me warning about what he is thinking instead of laying tasks on me he wants done NOW. to me, in my solitude since i've ben here, and my overall independent lifestyle at home, i'm used to being on my own schedule, his requests seem like demands. i've mentioned before that he's a patient man, and it appears because of that quality in him i'm able to communicate openly. which some (probably most) of you know it isnt one of my skills. i've been accused of being an ostrich with my emotions. i dotn know where along the line of my life i learned it wasnt okay to have needs or feel emotions, but the past year has been vital in my growth. i have no right to get upset if i dotn make my needs known. for me, thats easier said than done. i feel its poignant to piont out that these are not new ideas or thoughts, but that the slowing down process has forced me to come up with answers/solutions to the lists i've been makign over the years of things i want to change about myself. this trip is a catalyst for actually doing the thins i'm aware of that can get me closer to the person i want to be. i realize it is a process, lifelong in fact, but i am taking charge and implementing what i know can help me get to my goal.

2/27

a lizard strutted through our campsite this afternoon. it was about two and a half feet long, and just sauntered through as it if owned the place. it certainly "belongs" there more than i do. we were snapping photos of it and it stopped as if to pose, and then continued on behind our tents were a roo and her joey had been napping during the day. the young kangaroo was frightened and stared it down, but the mum actually growled! add that to list of weird sounds! its the first and only aggression i've seen come from the animals. there is a famous photo of a kangaroo sunning itself on the beaches of esperance and i'm convinced its this very one! the postcard labels the scene as lucky bay at thats where our campground is. on our arrival day and everyone since, we have seen those roos hanging around. its like they are pets (probably because people feed them) and a great mascot of the area. they exemplify the calm and pristine surroundings of western australia.

this morning we decided to take the coastal trail to another beach called thistle cove. the trails was marked EASY and here's where i see a cultural difference. simon i'm sure hardly broke a sweat, but i wouldnt know because he was so far ahead of me! i'm in my flip-flops, bathing suit and shorts, carrying my towel in one hand and my journal/books/lotions in a plastic grocery bag in the other. the path starts out as wide and even-footed, and then takes a turn into the bush on top of rocky tundra. as i was getting scraped by branches and my flimsy bag was getting tears in it, i was cursing to myself that it was like hiking tumbledown mountain in sandles. i was very unprepared, both physically and mentally. this footwear is great at home, cushiony soles and easy on/off. already the overuse has worn down my footprint so there's barely much between the sole of my foot and whatever surface i happen to be walking on. and then, pebbles and who knows what pokes through the underneath and into my foot. add onto the lovely setting my terror of coming across a snake. there are plenty; some are "harmless" but some are deadly and i've seen photos of the gigantic size. simon points out i always have something i'm fixated on, and i suppose i cant argue. it seems to be one thing or another with me that i'm worried about! all the while i'm panting and trying hard not to berate myself for being out of shape i can feel my body tensing. i could have stopped and just broke down crying (but i was too scared), but eventually, the reward was worth it. you'll note the celebration of nature in the colors of the beach photographs. i literally had the beach to myself for several hours. simone realized he needed to do internet banking and scooted off to town. there were some visitors here and there, but for the most part, it was just katy. that beauty and down time allowed me much needed opportunity to ponder. which brought awareness opf my thoughts and emotions not only during that recent experience, but also the trauma i felt during peace corps. and to quote eckardt tolle again, "life will give ou whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your concsiousness. how do you know this is the experience you need? because this is the experience you are having at this moment." with that perspective i could easily give into the fact that i was frightened at those times in my life, thats its okay, and now its time to move on. it is so true that i have an overanalytical mind and too much time to think. however, i believe i'm actually getting somewhere with this down time to create awareness. and with that, i can practice self compassion.

in the evening, we had our second night of happy hour on the beach overlookin the southern ocean, of which i can add to the sea waters i've swam in. the facilities at this campground are wonderful, but we learned quickly that the campers kitchen is a popular spot, so we do our cooking on the gas burners and grill early, that way we can wash our dishes and be done when the crowds turn up. there are even hot water showers for free. the sites are not dilineated, so there's a first come first serve basis on the good spots in the general tent area.

albany is a great coastal town, and where much of simon's family still resides. after seperating in the city center for two hours to do our own errands, simon and i headed off for a swim. we were able to park at his brother julian's main house (as opposed to the beach one we spent time at this weekend) and walk to the beach for a swim and then walk the length of middleton beach to EMU point to visit his father and gran, who will turn 92 this year. she's a very spry woman whose vocabulary is in tip-top shape. both of them still posess a strong british accent. i never tire of listening to people around here speak. it seems everyone has a different accent, different dialect, different intonation. i already find myself thinking in the local language, and i hope you'll hear some of the phrases upon my return. simon's mum also lives in albany and we'd planned to see her, but it didnt work out. we walked back to the car at sunset, which you'll see some beach photos when you go to webshots (jana, here's the answer to your question) http://community.webshots.com/user/katystebbins

we trodded off to his sister becky's house where she fed us since we'd gone without dinner. their kids were already in bed, and all of us were tired so we didnt stay up long chatting. the next morning, cleo (4) and devon (1 and a half) were waiting for thier uncle simon to awake. we had a fun morning catching up while they all got ready for work and school and then simon and i headed to explore the national park in the area. we went around to several beaches and even a stopoff at a place called THE GAP, which is similar to thunderhole at Acadia National Park. it was a relatively calm day, but you could still hear the booming of the waves slapping against the rock cove. we probably split the amount of driving, and its exactly as i thought, i do not feel more comfortable on the second (and third) day of driving. the roads are narrow and the shoulder made of gravel is quite trecharous. (spelling i know). it was a full day of touring around and i dont ever tire of the scenery, although to my layman eyes the white-sand beaches with turquoise water do begin to blend in and i cant tell the difference from one to another. so please excuse what you might think to be repetitive photos of the same beach. i want to be sure to capture them in case your eyes are more discerning than mine. especially after hearing about the over-a-foot snowfall you recently had in maine, i think i'll just keep taking reminders so that a year from now i can whisk myself back to the beauty of western australia.

in the evening, we visited with julian and his family again before returning to becky and todd's for a second evening with them. todd cooked up some fish that he'd caught in the ocean and we had a lovely night together. its amazing how comfortable we are all with one another, and how it feels as though we've known each other for much longer than 24 hours or so. you have to appreciate the human spirit in that regard. i find it to be like my health, i take it for granted until its tainted. i've had more than one lonely day since i've been here (feeling homesick a bit, too) and yet, when i take an opportunity to reach out and share, and have a genuine conversation with people, i realize i'm not really alone after all. its easy to forget. so, next time you're down, or tired of your routine in life, mix things up a bit. change your routine. take an adult ed course. go see a local high school sport. go have a coffee at a cafe and watch people, or be bold and go somewhere and have dinner by yourself. you may enjoy that break from your routine and notice your surroundings like never before. major changes not needed.

2/25

this morning we headed to use the spot in a caravan park at bremer bay. becky and todd were gracious enough to let us use thier place for a night, to break up the drive to esperance. again, the driving was a bit annoying, but we have over a four hour drive tomorrow, and its due to rain. oh well. we have already had a swim, but simon had to take care of a few things before we head out into unexplored territory. simon has never been here, or where we are going for a few days. it brings excitement to the journey, both being pioneer explorations for us. we may try to camp on the beach, if weather allows. better there than in the bush where the snakes reside. its my latest focus!

2/21- believe it or not, in two days' time i spent roughly six hours on the computer, at an internet cafe, uploading photos! i hope you've been able to take a look at them. saturday afternoon, simon took me to the pool where he and his friend claire often swim laps. i loved the chance to tread water, as i've been doing in the ocean, but i felt much safer here. in the ocean i picture my head as the bobber, and my flailing hands and legs like shark bait (reminds me of the movie finding nemo). all i need is a bloody cut and i'd make the perfect lure! i'm sure the likeliness of me getting attacked by a shark is as good as my plane going down, but i sometimes cant help my overactive mind. anywho, later that evening we all went to vietnamese for dinner. my first experience in this nationality culinary cuisine. it was delicious! claire, her 12 year old son kiam, and her mum mary, simon and i had a lovely evening. turns out they used to live in the same town in england where i studied abroad in college; winchester. and also come to find out, simon has visited there as well. a rather small world of intertwined stories, really. ultimately, thats the reason i met simon in the first place, because doing the exchange with usm/king alfred's college in the uk allowed me to meet paul, and paul was the one to convince me to move to tokyo where i met simon. hindsight is a good tool to look back and reflect on how our decisions in life lead us to pathways to our future. its important to take time and look back on where you were a year ago, two or three even. if nothing much has changed or interesting transpired, maybe its time to step out of your comfort zone a bit!

after vietnamese, we went back to claire's apartment where we played a card game that rushed nostalgic memories back to mind: MILLE BORNES. anybody else remember playing this french card game full of stops, flat tires, accidents and empty gas tanks?

2/22 this was a day of firsts. simon's theory that when something causes you anxiety the best way to cure it is to do that very thing. as in, me driving! its no coincidence that my first experience was on the open roads with very little traffic around. although, wouldnt you know it, the first minutes i'm behind the wheel (on the "wrong" side of the car), up over the knoll of the highway are a cop car's lights. the trepidation set in immediately that i was doing something wrong, warranting trouble. but alas, it was just a branch down in our side of the road, and i was able to overtake (pass as we say) the cop car and continue on our way. each time i attempted to signal, instead of using the blinker i'd set off the windshield wipers. i had a chance to go around a few roundabouts. i'm not sure i'll ever get over my worries of driving in this country, but perhaps it will give me the confidence i lack so i can more assertively drive better at home.

the other first was witnessing my first wild kangaroo. our first destination was cheyne's beach (pronounced chains) where simon's brother Julian and his wife own a beach house. the view was spectacular, and the weather was much windier and cool than perth. that didnt stop us from going for a swim. more beautiful white sand beaches, and we celebrated with a bottle of sparkling wine. we even got a lad to take a group photo of us all. its times like this one i really feel like i'm on holiday! at dusk when i went out onto the deck with my red wine, i noticed a roo on the neighbor's lawn, having a feast. simon said it was unusual to see a solo as they usually travel in groups. julian and fiona have four lovely children. riley, wil and archie (twins) and missy. they welcomed me into thier home like i was part of the family. i've eaten some superb food while i've been here, but last night's lamb roast may top the list. it was phenomenal, although friends dave and miguel can cook some mean lamb as well, probably the ambience and romance of being in australia might be factors. after the kids went to bed, the adults enjoyed good conversation and they shared some australian music with me, some of which included a dvd of the tsunami benefit held in sydney back in 2005.

it was like a bed and breakfast in the morning with my first cup of coffee since i've been here, and freshly made bacon and eggs. i had my jimmy buffett t-shirt on and they all inquired who he was. unfortunately, i didnt bring any of his music, but it seemed fitting for the ocean view. its been amusing, and a bit embarrassing, to discover how many of the artists i've been thinking are american but are actually from australia. i admit, i'm a layman when it comes to music. it seems a lot of the culture of both countries are mixed. CSI and even soap operas like days of our lives are popular shows here. and the magazines keep current with hollywood celebrities. its easy to forget i'm in another country at times. after breakfast, simon enjoyed sharing the jelly belly gourmet beans i brought. they were amazed how flavorful the lollies are. simon and i took a walk on the beach before hitting the road for a 45 minute journey to albany where we'll stay for two nights with his sister. tonight will be a family get together to celebrate simon's mother's birthday just a couple of days ago. that brings us currently up to date!

signing off, for now.....

2/19

much to my chagrin, i "gave in" and booked a tourist tour for the day. normally i dont care for being led around like a cattle herd, with a group of people who are unable or unwanting to take self-guided tours. however, this destination was too far to take the train, and i attribute it to my friend sue, who graciously gave me money towards my trip. this was something i would not have done otherwise, and i'm sure its exactly the kind of thing she wanted to fun. thank you, sue!

also, it was strange to have to use an alarm clock. (what a life, eh?) i didnt even bring one, so i had simon set up his old cell phone to go off at 6:10am. i had to make the 6:44 train into the city to arrive at the tourist coach stand on time. it was still dark! i've been really spoiled since i've been here, getting up when i feel like it. (i dont take it for granted) i had a chance to practice meditation and keeping inner peace during the frustrating wait. i hurried to be where they told me by 7am, but didnt actually get on the bus until 8:05. when i began to get tense and angry, i had to talk myself down into a calmer mode. i seem to be much more successful at talking myself out of anger than anxiety. the stress i notice is still potent. i guess being aware is the first step, but it ultimately affects my energy and body tension. keep at it, katy.

first stop: caversham wildlife park. the photos of the day will tell a better story. but because we are part of the tour, we got a guide and an opportunity to go into the cages without the public. i'm guessing they get a chance as well, but not sure. we first went to see the koalas. these animals typically sleep up to 18 hours at a time to conserve energy. and they are not found in western australia, only in captivity. we got to touch them with the back of our hand (so very soft) and take photos. you'll see i didnt get any with me in them, but still some great pics nonetheless. they arent staged and they are totally real animals. we were lucky a few of them were awake while we were there.

second stop: the pinnacles. coveres several hectares (acres) and are limestone formations rearing into the sky like giant needles. there are several theories about how they were formed, whethere they are the ruins of an anciety city, formed around trees that existed there, or hardened blow sand and shells. its a popular photographed phenomenon. see the photos at webshots for better explanation (visual).

third stop: the sand dunes. the tour listed 4WD as a highlight and it was confusing what that meant. the bus was clearly a four wheel drive vehicle, but i had no idea what would occur. we got onto the dunes and were buggying around, having fun, checking out what we thought were dunes to go sandboarding on. until, we drive to the cliff of a dune, and keep going! all of a sudden the bus tips forward at an 45 degree angle! it reminded me of one of the water luge rides in epcot where you think you are going for a vista view, and then all of a sudden you lunge forward! terrific! we got to do it again, but on the second attempt you could feel the soft sand enveloping our tires, so that was it for that. onto sand boarding on the dunes. once you climb to the top, it was extremely windy and i wondered how the heck those climbers of everest did it! of course i didnt need oxygen tanks or step over dead bodys to summit, but i was reminded of thier endeavors. amazing feats! anyway, it was more enjoyable than i anticipated. i dont care much for slopes and loathe snowboarding and downhill skiing. but, i had a good run (better than most i must say) and it wasnt that much of a decline. plus, i'm in australia, gotta try everything, right!

didnt arrive back into the city until after 7:30, and being out of my normal routine i was beat. but, it was well worth the trip. and also out of my ordinary behavior, i made a friend. michelle from canada was too sweet and cheery to ignore. i usually dont like idle chit-chat or meeting people on days like this, but she was single and had good energy about her. and she gave me, what i consider to be, the highest compliment. towards the end of the day she said "i knew immediately when i saw you that i wanted to get to know you. you seemed so friendly". now how would she notice that? i hadnt spoken to anyone at that point. i suppose in my awe of everying i must have a look of wonder on my face, and i do smile at others even if they just glare back. it gave me something to think about during the ride home. i dont have much awareness of how others interpret me. i have the bad habit of assuming the worst, so often times i dont think about it. and when friends give feedback, i just think they are being kind. but michelle, in her innocence, couldnt be doubted. it was refreshing to share with her. she had an unexpected 3 weeks off from work, so she up and left to australia from sasketchewan, canada. 29, on her own, she was certainly seizing the day. unfortunately she is leaving town soon and it didnt work to meet up again, but i have her email address and will share photos of our trip. i guess its good to be reminded not only that meeting people is relatively easy, but that there are many out there we can connect with on some level. it was like a message from above reiterating that because i'm 33 and still single, that i'm okay. its too easy to get into this idea that there must be something wrong with me. that i'm somehow incomplete because i'm not coupled anymore. its more of a notion back home, where coworkers and friends are married. but here, here it is in your face that single equates young and carefree. its all about perspective. it is what it is. even if you dont like it, it still is what is. so.. for my single friends out there reading this, live it up! we have our freedom, not only our freedom to date, but to travel, schedule our own routine, spend our own money how we choose, etc. we'll look back on this time in our lives and think "man, we had it all".

sheesh, i just get on soapboxes, eh? :)

2/17 pm

the book club was more like a short story club, but it was great nonetheless. club members included simon's fellow teachers. Alan from the states, and Chono from the phillipines, although both of them dont seem to really have a home to claim. orginially from Kansas, alan has lived in turkey for an extensive time before moving to WA in the 80's. when i asked him how he landed here, he told a story of how he heard the government officials held beer-drinking contests and wanted to live in a society run by such liberals! and Chono reported she'll be living the country soon as she's getting ansty. Its fun to meet all these people who are living very different lifestyles from us back home. i'm happy to report it makes me appreciate my life much more. While teaching in tokyo, i suppose my identity crisis had me in limbo, trying to figure out which "generation" i belonged to: the travelling vagabond, or the homebody. After gorging on thai food and chatting about the short stories, simon and i headed to his friends Jacki and colin's for an evening of hanging out.

2/18

while wednesdays are Maine Day at the slopes and some of you tried to get out and test youru downhill skiing skills, i returned to cotteslo beach. and although i'm careful and put on gobs of sunscreen, i still manage to torch my skin a bit. i still say i'd take some discomfort on the skin for enriching the soul. and it certainly is that. i am loving my beach days. not much to report on my beach days, no shark sirens and nobody drowing like my day at the beach in japan. that was horrendous. i witnessed a man die that day. by the time i noticed what was happening, a bunch of japanese were dragging him out of the water. being cpr certified i felt it was my duty to assist, but not knowing the language and not seeing what happened (bump his head, heart attack) i stood by helplessly as i watched the color deplete from his skin. in the end, another person had attempted rescesitation (spelled that wrong), but when the amblulances arrived it was clear it was too late. anywho, i digress!

that evening was badmitton again. it was even more fun this time. there were more people, but i seemed to take charge of my own fun and was able to get out there on the court while others were timid. its a first come, first serve kind of thing, and although i was considerate to let others go first, perhaps they were more interested in the social aspect of it. simon pointed out what a social butterfly i am at these events and at the end of the evening i get goodbye hugs from several people, whereas he's been going for months and doesnt get that reaction. it certainly is easier to live in the moment when you've nothing to lose. all i have is each moment here. at home, i wouldnt be so lively. and besides, i can go 12-20 hours without speaking to anyone. most days its casual hello/goodbye to the other housemates. and what the heck, these gay men arent judging me or caring about my looks. so i can just be me. isnt that freeing? wouldnt life be nice if we could all carry on with that attitude? so, when "they" usually suggest if you're nervous about giving a speech, picture everyone in his/her underwear", then this is just another one of those motivational perspectives. PRETEND no one is judging you. and after all, if you arent judging others, why should they be judging you? much like the books i'm reading suggest compassion starts with yourself, you can start practicing like me. worry not about what others think. start where you are. forgive yourself and have compassion for numero uno. and then you'll notice your world around you changes.

ps. i should mention i get this from the book titled START WHERE YOU ARE written by pema chodron. a good friend lent it to me and its providing for some great reflection time. it fills the goal of "spiritual retreat" i had in mind for this trip. check it out!

i'll have to double check on the name, but i did see an advertisement in a tourist brochure for the college where simon teaches. it announced its an award-winning school. and i got to go into class and help this morning! simon had the idea and of course i was enthusiastic about it. we didnt get a chance to prepare for it like we'd both hoped. it would have been nice to discuss american idioms, but it got down to the wire, so simon made up a quick lesson before class, and i just went with it. i'm not good on the fly, i need to know whats going to happen. simon had me pretend i was a new student, although these two really sweet students started conversing with me before class and wondered where i was from and without thinking i answered america. both immediately picked up on it and asked why i was taking english class. i couldnt lie, so i admitted the secret. they went around the room and stood up and introduced themselves. there were some from india, switzerland, japan, korea, brazil. i was last and i looked at simon as if to say "where am i from?" but then the cat was out of the bag. everyone perked right up and then the class took a path of its own. we explained quickly how we met and then simon went into his routine. he had them pair up in partners, and one sat in the room and the other went out to read questions and repeat them to thier partner so they could write it down. very clever way of working on multiple aspects: reading, writing, listening, speaking. and then during the correction phase he could check comprehension. and then we went on to pronounciation and accents. he thought of 3 sentences for me to say aloud, and then he say aloud, and the students were to write them and figure out what words were different. the first one: i cant dance because the plant's in the way. my goodness, my accent sounds so nasal and distorted. simon sounds much more posh. we had some fun with that excersize, and then i sat and talked about myself and they asked questions. i really enjoyed the first part, witnessing simon in action. i even took photos. and then interacting with the international students was pleasant as well. i fed off their energy. it was lovely.

i do not yet have internet access. i am at a cafe paying by the hour/minutes and will soon be late to meet simon for a book club. he gave me copies of the short stories last night to read today for tonights gathering! never a dull moment. stay tuned!

2/15 simon had to work his 24 hour shift again, so i was free to roam about on my own. and today was a beach day for sure! went back to cotteslo beach (after the shark scare realizing there are no lifeguards at the other, my worry-wart mind feels better at the populated one) and besides, its nice to feel part of a holiday vacation. it was a much different atmosphere. being sunday and being that the surf was active, it made for a varied scene than the time before. however, i only spent a few hours there because i wanted to check out this place called fremantle i've heard so much about.

2pm. arrived at FREO, as the locals call it. sunday was the perfect day to wander the streets. i didnt have any plan in mind, just to walk the streets and find the markets i heard so much about. they are only open on weekends. fantastic fun! there were so many people in a smaller area than perth, it was like a festival was going on. usually i am turned off by crowds, but this was fun to be part of something. like i am in the know. i took many photos of this town/city, much of what i cant tell you what exactly it is. but, i felt so enamoured by the sights, i wanted to share as much as possible. just outside the markets were buskers. professional buskers who are very talented and very entertaining! inside the markets at first was disappointing. almost like a craft fair (of seemingly junk and trinkets) from all over the world, but then i found the fresh food markets. it was bustling with people and free samples of fresh fruit that is considered a delicacy at home. i splerged and bought 3 mangoes. they are so succulent, i could consider that dessert. i think my photos will do most of the explanation for this wonderful day. i am sure there are plenty of places in maine, probably in my future home of hallowell, that can provide the kind of awe and wonder i experienced today. i've got to purchase a maine tourist guide travel book and set out to experience first hand what others see/do and i have missed out on. who wants to join me? we can find quaint towns (perhaps camden but in the off season) AND do that picnic i mentioned before, yes?

2/16

my true vacation morning. i lounged around the house, slept late, had some tea, journalled (and fulfilled my duties of doing simon's laundry) until noon. i decided i didnt want to "waste" a whole day at hotham street, not because of pressure, but due to the sincere and genuine desire to get out and experience perth. i admit, two months off is decadent. i hadnt quite planned out what i was doing, but for that i am glad. despite an emergency, i am not coming home early, and i can find plenty to do with my time. i went into a part of the city called SUBIACO which is full of the higher echelon shoppers (i guess). i wasnt convinced of the craze in popularity to tour around here, but we all know i dont really fit that description anyway. that evening we went to the same outdoor theater simon took me to the week before. the night of my arrival. its only been one week! somehow, time has slowed almost to a stand still. what a glourious feeling since i usually feel like i'm racing against time. i still feel like the days go by without much handle on the time. anywho, i didnt fall alseep during the movie this time. which, i think if i could have chosen, i would have picked this week's movie to fall asleep during! i enjoyed it, but it was a bit slow. it is titled YOU, THE LIVING. they are part of the somerville theater lotterywest international film festival. so, they are good films, just not what we expect all the time.

2/13 moving day was a bit hellish, but its over now. upon reflection, i suppose it wasnt that bad, but combined with the heat (actually it was cool for these parts but not my body) and the fact that i have the anticipation of my own move awaiting me when i get home were factors.

friday night simon pulled the usual stunt of surprising me. this time, the directive was to don casual wear and be ready in 15 minutes. his friend jaqui arrived at the new house, and off we went. destination: buddhist meditation center. how cool! there were so many people, over a hundred people and i was immediately was glad that he'd kept our plans a secret. i would have been anxious about having to sit in meditation. half due to the fear of sitting alone with my thoughts (although i've been doing that since i've arrived) and having to sit cross-legged for an unknown length of time. hard to believe with my body build i know, but i dont find sitting on the floor comfortable, much less with my legs in a position where the tinglies start in soon after. it was only 30 minutes, and then the speech portion began. i have to do some more research about the name of the monk. he's travelled all over the world and his speaking was eloquent and moving. i found myself shaking my head and wanting to imitate jack keroauc's character dean morriarti and say "yesss, yesss. dig it!" i'd love to share the lessons of his talk, but thats for another entry. for now, i'm trying to recap the past four days. after the speech, we went into the city and ate at a korean BBQ. i had the most delicious meal of BI BAM BAP. basically, a mixture of veggies and kim chee (korean spicy cabbage) and a fried egg on top of rice. the flavors just dance in your mouth. for those people who dont like thier foods to touch, "do not try this at home".

and, i later found out, that i am a proud auntie, again! jada iris stebbins was born friday the 13th to my brother and sister in law andrew and shelly. this is my parent's sixth grandchild, except this one is a girl! woohoo! the first of the generation. all pressure is off katy now to breed. ha ha

2/14 simon had planned to take me to the beach but it wasnt beach weather (for the first time i've been here. i was beginning to wonder if it was ever cloudy). instead, we ran some errands (like making copies of the house key) and settled into the new place a bit. its a much better living area! i'll post photos of it. the down time was good, and much needed. simon had his daily siesta (two hours might be considered a full-on nap) and when i heard what the plans for the evening were, he sent me to bed to rest up. now comes the worst part of my trip so far. biking to the venue. simon and i got all gussied up for an evening out at the club. pants even! and no flip flops aloud, so i had my sandals i brought just for such an occasion. i dont plan on wearing them if i dont have to. i had to roll my pants up over my knees sot they didnt catch in the bike chain, and we didnt leave until we were supposed to be there. this meant not good news for katy. simon is an experienced bicycle rider. very graceful. i, on the other hand, lack the prowess. i am sure i was quite a sight! the slow leak in the back tire combined with my weight made for uneasy peddling as simon glided along ahead of me. this was a work out for me- up and down hills in sweltering heat. had i been at the gym in proper clothes, i would have been exceeding my calorie burnage. however, this is not that romantic scene. this is katy in australia. all dressed up for the club. on a bike. sweating profusely, and at times panting. i'm sure my face was the sort of color onlookers worried about my health. simon knew to just keep going and i would do my best to keep up. i admit, i was swearing, but not at simon. truth was, i was embarrased by my out of shapeness, and for making us late to the movie. we werent, though. this nice indian lad had our tickets waiting while jaqui was inside saving seats. i didnt even have a napkin to wipe my sweat. the air conditioning eventually evened out my body temperature. slumdog millionaire proved to be well worth the awful travel. the three of us lingered in our seats at the movie's end. a bit stunned at the depth of reality and images of india.

after the movie we go to this burger joint and i was so very excited to try kangaroo! but, they were out of roo burgers. bummer. another time i suppose. then it was time to bicycle again. into the city. my arse was sore by this time, i'm not used to having contact with such a small piece of plastic. ouchie. and by now, it was dark. now, i am not that familiar with riding my bike in crowds of people, dodging obstacles, nor am i yet familiar with the fact everythign is backwards to me. i tried to stay on the sidewalk as much as possible, but there were times i thought i might get hit. it was a crazy, yet memorable, experience. dont worry, mom and dad, i'm sure it wasnt as bad as i make it out to be. we made our way to THE COURT where the sign says THIS IS A GAY/LESBIAN PUB, BUT ALL ARE WELCOME. there were more people in that venue than i see in a month total. there were two dj's. the one outside was more rave with dicier danciers, and the inside played the likes of michael jackson and the village people. the people watching was amazing. course, not much watching involved, more like getting a glimpse at their outfits! and perhaps my favorite part was the special show the drag queens put on for a special valentine's day event. i was wide-eyed the whole evening in awe and appreciation. fantastic! and, at the end, we biked home. it seemed like forever to get there, but it only took about 20 minutes and it was an easy way to avoid the other club-closing drunkards at 2 in the morning.

in case you ever find yourself wandering the city streets of perth, here's some anecdotal information i've learned along the way....

the doors on the train dont open automatically at each stop. if you want to get on or off the train, you must press the button.

dont be alarmed if you see such stores as target and kmart. this is perfectly natural. luckily, wallyworld has yet to make its global market at home here in perth.

if you see someone wearing tshirt announcing NEW YORK, do not assume that person is from that region. heck i was in a tourist shop and so was he. seemed to make sense, eh? turns out he's from england but had visited new york last year. at least we could comisserate about the weather.

this one isnt about the city, but the australian airports. note: taking off your shoes at the security check is a sure sign you're an american. the bloke working security made fun of me! here i am trying to push things along and be diligent, but he says in a jokingly manner and accent if you can imagine.." put your shoes back on! we're not in america". i think some people chuckled along with me, but i split outta there pretty quickly afterwards.

yesterday, thought i'd give my skin a rest and not go to the beach. instead i headed to see what the city of perth has to offer. now, i consider myself a country girl, but i do admit perth is a great place to visit! but, whats with all the shopping? i saw mostly either business people or shoppers. there were some backpackers, lugging rucksacks as big as themselves. saw a few buskers, but mostly just lots of people. so many people. on a mission. to do what i dont know. i certainly felt like i was in the know. like i was one of the important people who had things to do and places to be. our little secret: i was just people-watching. sure, the sights are nice. i took pictures of things tourists are supposed to take pictures of. but the best part was the witnessing mannerisms and gestures hard to capture on film. there were people of all ages, all skin colors, speaking what could have been tongue for all i know. so many different languages! in fact, i walked by someone i thought was speaking a foreing language, but upon further review i realized it was an australian with a strong accent. oh, the dialects of english language! its glorious, really.

some friends following along the blogs have been google-earth(ing) my whereabouts. i have yet to see our new location of residence but some of you have seen it already! good on ya, mate! i'll be sure to point out details of where i find myself in awe.

now, be forewarned. i know not how long it will take the cable/internet company to install usage at our new place, so dont worry that something has transpired and i've taken ill. i'm okay (other than heat exhaustion). i'll be online again as soon as possible! thanks for following along. its making the whole trip much more meaningful. toodles...

i am genuine when i say i'm hesitant to fully report how beautiful and amazing it is to be here. but, my own "survivor guilt" is my issue, and so i will share unabashadly, and i hope you dont feel i'm trying to rub it in. and in fact, you'd probably want to punch me or shake me straight to know what's really going on in my mind. yesterday i was at the beach and it was the most beautiful surroundings i can ever remember being in, yet my fulfillment wasnt quite to satisfaction. i keep repeating this phrase, but it rings so true. "happiness is meant to be shared". i guess this is my way of sharing. although impersonal, the need to connect and experience this together is important to me.

to recap the last couple of days.. its been all about the beaches. using simon as my travel guide will prove to be useful and integrating moreso than a generic written guide explaining "you are here". the first beach was wonderfully remote and just what i needed, some time to reflect and get some bearings. i quickly have realized, though, that alone time is not healthy for my overactive "monkey mind". however, at the same time i'm right where i need/want to be. i had an idea this trip would be a sort of retreat for me, to take much needed time (i was unable to find in my comfort zone at home) to put into practice the ability to control my thoughts and reign in the unneccesary activity. i've been studying eckhart tolle's book THE POWER OF NOW and here is my chance to put it into play. just like another great book, LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET, i can now "live the questions themselves". one more point about my practicum, eckhart suggests his teachings can "show you how to free yourself from enslavement to the mind, enter into this enlightened state of consciousness and sustain it in everyday life." i dont know about you, but i'm excited to learn that valuable technique! anywho, i digress. back to the diary portion..

the notion to get off the train station and walk west seemed a bit daunting before and during, but afterwards makes total sense. we forget to just have faith in trust in things. we are such a society of information, knowing too much and adventuring too little. i was scared i admit. i feel so awkward even walking the streets, looking both ways to be sure i not only cover laws at home but laws here. i can see how travellers easily get run over. its opposite from what i'm used to, and i feel like i stick out like a sore thumb. i've never seen so many beautiful people. honestly. pure beauty. of course, it must have to do with all the exposed (tanned) skin. but men and women alike are just so nice to look at! their dress is casual, no makeup or prada, yet a wholesome and relaxed aura about them. its hard to pick out tourists from locals, since in perth there are so many foreigners who have come to live. they are somehow in the know that this is a great place to be. and i realize, as i sit in the perth train station waiting for my connection, that most people here are living out thier daily lives, much like we do at home. yet, from my onlooker perspective, i picture them to be content and satisfied. i mean, just look at them! of course there are many business people who put in a lineup wouldnt stand out more than anyone we work with, yet i imagine them to be happier. i realize thats a bit ridiculous to assume. their heads are probably filled with the same (excuse my language) crap that fills our own. we are ALL the same, no matter if we are in vanuatu, england, japan, australia, maine. we wake up, go to work, do soemthing we think is meaningful (or often obligated), go to sleep, and do the same thing day after day.

its strange to me that outside the city, just a 20 minute train ride can take you to the most gorgeous beaches! white sand, crisp, blue water. i definitely wanted to get back to the indian ocean and soak up the warm weather (it was over a 100 degrees yesterday) but of course dont want to repeat location. so i made my way to another beach, closer to the city. cottesloe beach. definitely more popular, maybe even a bit touristy, but i was glad for the company. i've never been on a tropical vacation, so i was happy to be part of the social climate. i've been diligent about protecting my skin, but it was hot and i was ready for a swim. and there were som beach volleyballers playing two on two. you could tell they were not just amateurs. thier hand sets were perfect! i wanted to get into the ocean so i could tread water while watching ball. i was in heaven! but then, the helicopter that had been circling the area was centered around the beach and people were gathering on the jetty. i asked someone if someone had drowned or if there were shark danger, and she replied that if it were a shark they'd blow the siren. not five minutes later that siren blew and i tell ya i moved so fast out of that water i left a wake! actually, thats what happened in my mind, but when in rome... so i sauntered out cooly and collectedly like the locals. the siren blew for quite awhile and when it ended i assumed it was okay to go back in, but no one else was. so i asked an "elderly" gentleman what the scoop was. he gave me the run-down about how the ski-doo was out there trying to chase it away and another helicopter came in to help get a view of it. i asked if tax dollars paid for the hellies and actually they only used to do it on weekends, but the public outcry said it was needed during the week that sharks dont know the difference, so the government pays some, and tv/media sponsors the rest. it took about 45 minutes to get the okay to go back in, apparently they'd lost track of it and wanted to be sure it wasnt near. just earlier that morning a shark attacked someone in sydney, and weeks before at that same beach a guy was standing in hip-deep water and was attacked. just what my worry-wart mind needs! it made for a good story (dont you think)

simon is a great host and has been sharing his life with me. tuesday evening he took me by some friends i've been hearing about for years. that was great fun to story-on with them. and then last night simon's brother came by and we had a nice chat. everyone i meet wants to talk about obamaa and questions what the country is like now. i'm not much into politics, but the conversations always take an interesting direction off that topic. i realize i'm a representation of our country (scary, isnt it) but i'm surprised many (not only australians) have taken a sincere interest in obama's election. you hear on the news how it affects the world, but its another to actually talk to people from other countries and hear that first hand.

also, last night simon took me to another adventure! we were lounging around after he got home and all of a sudden he says "we're going to leave now. put on some sneakers and socks and be prepared to sweat". and so we get in the car and i make some comment about what i'm wearing and he says "dont worry, its moot" (actually he has some other lingo for everything but to make it flow...) and he says "its gay badmitton". it was in a small gym and there were about 35 people there (one other woman) and it was such a blast. i immediately inquired how hard it would be to set up at home, but they have special holes in the gym floor to set up nets. it was so much fun!

when i was in peace corps i always said when i came home i'd start a local activity club (not necessarily singles) and it was reiterated last night how i havent gotten around to it.

this is quite novelesque. oops.

stay tuned....

well, i'm here. it brought home the fact how far i really had to travel to get here. the trip was overwhelming. not that anything went wrong, but my energy is depleted and my mind played tricks on me. imagine being in limbo, almost stagnant for almost 36 hours. granted, most of that duration i was on a plane moving closer to the south pacific. but i was just killing time for the most part in my mind. after i'd doze and then come to, my mind would autmatically start planning out my next day, my next week. it was strange to me that i couldnt train my mind so easily. i had to smile to myself everytime it happened. and now that i'm here, sitting by myself, the answers dont come so easily as to why i came. of course, there will be, (and already has been) moments of clarity and confirmation why.

i found out more details. for the next 2 weeks m-f, simon works from 9-5 teaching english as a second language "kids" in their twenties who are here on a study visa. they come from all over the world, and simon and i have already discussed the possibility of me going into class one day. american idioms seemed like a good topic.i've already had to ask a few times what simon means. the few people i've met already get a kick out of my accent. its not melbourne, but melbun. and although i've heard it before, the expression fortnight had me confused. "in/for two weeks" in case you use it. actually, its a good idea you keep reading these language updates because i'm sure when i come back i will have picked up some of the lingo. anywho- some nights, such as last night, simon is working a second job where he oversees a 17 year old male who needs round the clock chaperoning. it reminds me of the stint i did, right out of college. we have these type of homes where there needs to be supervision around the clock. after many teary eyed nights, i was glad i decided to quit before one of the kids ended up breaking a coworkers nose when he threw a brick out a window. ever wonder what jobs you've had that you've loathed? thats a good one to avoid. i was kicked, spit at, bitten, and i'd count the hours in terror when i wasnt at work worrying about the next shift. i digress! some nights simon will not even spend at home. and anyways this friday i will help move to another location. this place is cute enough, but its being demolished as soon as they move out, so the gardens have been grown over. i'll send photos of my the new place.

simon's got this whole week after work planned out for us, and then in 2 weeks he will start his month-long vacation and we will have one heck of a road trip. if possible, during that time i'll request we hit internet cafes long enough to post entries. that part sounds exciting, but the downtime here while he's at work makes me slightly uncomfortable. but, i know its part of my experience to get out there and explore perth. its only a four minute walk to the train where i can spend 9 minutes to get to perth city central, but most likely carry on and get to the outskirts. simon's already pointed out which stops have a beach at them.

last night was wonderfully not perfect. turns out he had to work, but was able to bring steve along. he took me in his tiny car for a tour of the city, to kings park which has magnificent gum trees that smell like lemon zest. the park overlooks the city and its so wonderful to see people out and about enjoying the summer. the lush green grass and blooming flowers sparked my soul. even for the self-doubt, i'm glad i'm here. we moved onto his alma mater, the university of western australia for an outdoor film event. there were hundreds of people picnicing on the grassy areas. these people know how to picnic! leftovers and wine/beer. the atmosphere was one of pure enjoyment. and i suppose we do this during summer as well, but not living in the city i dont get to witness it on such a large scale. and i'm so busy during the summer, seeing people sitting on a blanket in a circle of friends seemed like such a treat. sheesh, i work next to a beautiful park, and summer nights in maine are very enjoyable. problem is, everyone wants to jet as far away from work as possible when we're done. how about slowing down a little this summer, and join me for a picnic in the park? sounds lovely.

i guess i shouldnt write too much of a novel and sway you from not joining in on the next blog.

stay tuned for more.

Life doesnt always work out as planned, but in hindsight, hopefully we are able to be thankful for what comes together without our effort or thought. my last day at work and my last full day "in town" the powers that be blessed me with a flat tire. something more to add to the anxieties of my departure. and as it happened, almost week's worth of work was delivered in the mail at my desk. but you know, for all the stress and worry i experienced, i have much to be thankful for. my friends were heroes by coming by work, grabbing my keys and making sure my car was looked after. what a comfort that was to be taken care of! and with coworkers assistance, i was able to leave my desk feeling good about the workload to ensue over the next two months in my absence. i'm not proud of the way i let my emotions take over, how the anxieties led to crankiness and snippy behavior. i may have appeared calm on the outside, but the inner turmoil wreaked havoc on my ability to live in the moment. it was a concious effort to remain in the present, to be in the here and now, rather than play out the future. the last few weeks have been a whirlwind: wrapping up loose ends at work, home, and with friends. i paid for it emotionally. my self esteem and faith took a nosedive. i've second guessed myself, my decisions, my place in life. but, isnt that what getting out of your comfort zone is all about? when life's routine is constant day after day, week after week, year after year, we get stagnant. life becomes monotonous and we take much for granted. we forget to "stop and smell the roses". not me. the upheaval has given me a new perspective. its easy to be "up" and happy about my life because of the opportunity of a lifetime to travel in australia for two months. but, (some may find this hard to beleive) i'm also looking forward to my return. life is good! take a look at the people around you. the day to day tasks you have become bitter about. its lost its vigor, only because of routine. so, here's my question to you. what can you do, to change your routine enough to be thankful for what you take for granted. how can you make a change in your life to appreciate all that you have? remember that saying, life is not a rehearsal. this is it! it doesnt take moving into a new house/location, a new car, or a new job. it doesnt have to be a LIFE CHANGE, but what "small" thing can you tweak to help you see your own life in a new perspective? sure, my trip DOWN UNDER is an amazing opportunity to see and experience stuff most people wont, but i think the real gift is the new perspective on the life i currently have. so, do yourself a favor; make that change, however small or big you need/want. life is what you make it. so take it upon yourself to make it special. because YOU are special. life is special. live it. fully. and i expect a full report of how you succeeded!

Q. why am i going to australia?

A. my friend simon lives in western australia and has been requesting me to come for many years. i will be staying with him in perth (suburb outside)

Q. how do i know simon?

A. we met in tokyo. he is from perth and was there, like i was, to teach english as a second language. we met at an event to get outside of the city and go hiking. it was easy to weed out those people we didnt want to get to know. and somehow, we found one another, and a friendship was formed that first day.

Q. how long is my flight?

A. i fly direct from boston to LA. 6 hours. then from LA to Melbourne, OZ, is 18 hours. another 4 hours to perth and i'm there. although, i leave FEbruary 7th and dont arrive until feb 9th. crazy!

Q. what am i going to do while i'm there?

A. simon just informed me that he bought a car and requested i get my international driver's license. many of you know that i dont care for driving, much less in a foreign country. he will have a month off during the time that i'm there and so we will tour around together. the time that he is working, i plan on spending time journalling and reading self-help books. i'll also be meditating and trying to learn to reign in this overanalytical monster of a mind i've created. wish me luck!

Q. what are you going to do when you come back?

A. as of saturday, 1/31/09 i am officialy homeless. a vagabond. of course i have options of places to stay, and while i'm in australia i'll check craigslist for apartments in Hallowell. Feel free to be in touch if you know of any affordable housing in that area. networking is a great way to get what we're looking for! work has agreed to hold my job for me (with all the power that they have to do so). yes, i realize its a risk to take leave in drastic times like this, but as many of you told me, "do it now while you can". hopefully, you werent setting me up for failure! just kidding, i'll be fine. i'll be fine no matter what happens. it just may mean you might have to take turns feeding me and letting me sleep on your couch! ha ha

Q. will i have internet access? will i be blogging and sharing photos?

A. yes! i dont know exactly what kind of access, but knowing simon and i can email back and forth regularly tells me that option is there. i will be posting my photos to a site i've already created. feel free to visit it now.

http://community.webshots.com/user/katystebbins

and please feel free to write an "old-fashioned" letter in the mail!

katy stebbins

61 Charles Street

Maylands

WA 6051 australia

this information is from some travel guides i've researched.

Western Australia at a GLance: (eyewitness travel guide)

The huge state of western australia encompasses and land mass of more than 1,000,000 sq miles. In recent years, the states popularity as a tourist destination has increased, with large numbers of visitors drawn to its many areas of extreme natural beauty. the landscape ranges from gian karri forests, imposing mountains and meadows of wild flowers to vast expanses of untamed wilderness with ancient gorges and rock formations. The coastline has an abundance of beaches and some stunning offshore reefs. The capital, Perth, is home to 80% of the state's population but there are many historic towns scattered around the southwest. Perth is the most isolated city in the world, closer to southeast asia than it is to any other Australian city.

Introducing Western Australia: (lonely planet)

With its immense dimensions, meagre population and Perth’s distinction as the world’s most isolated capital city, Western Australia (WA) could be considered Australia's final frontier. It certainly makes a spectacular finale to what the country has to offer. ‘Up north’, you’ll encounter all manner of photogenic landscapes. There's stunning gorges and waterfalls at Karijini National Park, and flaming red sunsets on Cable Beach near the enigmatic pearling town of Broome. Meanwhile, tiny Coral Bay gives you protected white sand beaches and a reef full of marine life. The Southwest offers some equally impressive beaches, expanses of wildflowers and lush green forests teeming with life. At Margaret River, surfers carve world-class waves while vignerons craft world-class wines, complemented by the gourmet grub of the town’s restaurants.

Things are in motion. its going to happen! in fact, my ticket has not only been purchased, but its been paid for. from here on out, its all on borrowed money! thanks to my dear friends for loaning me the money, i'm really going to Australia for two months. I fly out February 7th, arrive in Perth (western australia) on February 9th. the flight from California to Sydney alone is 18 hours. yep, that is 3/4 of a day spent in an enclosed space on an airplane. i will spend roughly seven weeks with my friend Simon, whom is a native of perth but we met when i taught in Tokyo, Japan. he will be taking a whole month off to show me around. the rest of the time i have no idea how i'll spend. i have visions of creating a routine for myself, waking when i choose, making my way to my (soon to be) favorite beach or park. apparently, i'm in walking distance to public transportation that will lead me on my adventures. there's a lot of unknowns, but all the necessary arrangements have been made.

On march 29th, i'll fly across the country to spend four nights in sydney by myself. i'll probably stay in a youth hostel and make sure to see the popular sites. on April 2nd i'll fly home, and i'll arrive on that same day. gotta love that international date line (on the way back).

I'm taking unpaid leave from work and they are holding my job (by whichever means they have). its true, in these uncertain times, there are no guarantees. i do not have power to keep my position, whether i stay here, or i take this amazing opportunity. this process has helped me realize that i am indeed enjoying my life here in Maine. when daily life becomes monotonous, our lives seem hum-drum. uprooting my life has given me a new perspective. i very much enjoy the people i work with. i have the best boss one could ask for. i hadnt known how much pride i take in my job. I've always thought "i'm JUST a secretary," but that's not true. that statement doesnt reflect my skills or range of activities i perform in a day. and in the past month i've come across things that i do that i feel a need to share with someone to make it easier to do my tasks while i'm out. i hadnt realized the degree to which i've personalized my function(s).

i'm also in the process of moving out of the place i've been living for the past 9 months. we all know how arduous the process of packing and moving can be. i know not where i'll live when i return, but i'm sending my energies to land an affordable apartment in Hallowell, Maine. i know thats where i want to be. i'm going to finally "begin living" and i have a list of what that means to me. i've felt like a vagabond up until now, but thats no longer the case. i am returning to a job i enjoy, a town i revere, and a network of friends i cherish! (and of course a great family!)

i'd be giving the wrong impression if i implied i had "everything together". i'm emotionally a mess through this process. my anxiety level is soaring. i'm questioning things like "why cant i be happy where i am" and challenging to bust the myth that "wherever you go, there you are". psychologically speaking, i want to leave parts of me behind, and start anew. learn to be more self-compassionate and learn to "slow down". i'm bringing some books and journals where i'll continue to study myself. and take some time to think about my next goal! its been proven many times, even on oprah, that making lists and putting on paper what you want to achieve in life, actually helps those wants come true. what would be on your list? think deeper than mere "new years resolutions", and what does your dream life look like? start "small" and then go "big". where do you see yourself in a month, in a year in five. you have the power to make your life turn out the way you've always dreamed! so, START THAT LIST. dont put it off!

my process officially begins today. the movement to make my trip to australia happens today. this mini-adventure surfaces at the request of the australian government. when i filled out my online application for a tourist visa i was informed that in order for my request to be considered that i would have to have a chest x-ray taken. because i spent time in Vanuatu, for the Peace Corps, there was a high risk of tuberculosis they want to clear me of. there is a specific list of doctors which the country authorizes, and of course there are none listed in maine!

when i call one of the two doctors listed in massachusetts, i tell the receptionist that i have an unusual request, but she informs me its not unusual at all! you mean, i have to go all the way to boston for a 15 minute xray! and so, the "journey" begins.

i figure, if i cant make my way from Maine to Boston, then i shouldnt be galavanting to the other side of the world. but it isnt easy! its known among loved ones that i loathe driving, so i take the bus from portland to south station and then jump on the subway. i have to confirm with my sister in law (who lives in mass) that the trolley and the subway are the same thing. i make sure i'm extra early, which reminds me of my days living in tokyo. in order to avoid the stress of being late, i like to arrive with pleny of time to spare. when i get off my train stop, i see my favorite food store: Trader Joe's! woohoo! i purchase my lunch, and then make my way down the street to confirm where the medical center is, and then find a small playground to eat my lunch at.

everything is well and good with my nerves, until i get to the building where i'm due to have an xray. i made an appointment, but there are plenty of walk-ins off the street laundering around. i'm the only white person in the tiny space, and not that i'm prejudice, i'm just not used to being the minority. (which i think is healthy for me to be out of my comfort zone) i fill out the necessary paperwork, and i wait. and i wait. and while i wait, i try to block out my surroundings while i'm reading. studying is more like it. nope, i'm not taking classes, i just have "self-help" books and books on spiritality and i'm making notes in my journal and highlighting here and there. i feel alone, i feel anxious, i feel out of place. and then... a most wonderful thing happens!

a gentleman a few years younger than i, who'd been arguing with the receptionist and finally receives the paperwork he's waiting for, on his way out approaches me with a writing utensil. he says "i've been noticing you and think you could use this more than i". and he hands me a contraption that if you click once its a pen, and click twice and it becomes a highlighter. well i was shocked. and humbled. here i was, feeling so out of sorts and a bit scared, and not even making any efforts i connected with somebody. i was being myself, doing my own thing what was true to me, despite feeling out of place, and a stranger went out of his way to engage with me. the interaction was brief, but its effect lingered. there's many points to make from this event.

we are not alone. ever. you cant know how what you're doing or feeling is resonating with someone else. and no matter how estranged you feel, we are all alike. and how much did that little gesture mean to me? it signified more than a recognition, more than him supplying a handier tool than the one i was using. it reminded me of the theory to "pay it forward". that scenario instilled in me what i'd always believed, but buried deep within. humans ARE caring beings. there is goodness in the world. perhaps we know not how we will pay our bills, what the diagnosis of our loved one's cancer will bring, each one of us has our worries. yet, we are all of one humanity, of one energy, of one existence. you may think i'm "reading into this too much", or "being too corny", but i'm sure if you ponder for a moment, you'll realize there's been proof of this theory in your own life. perhaps you havent seen it that way. perhaps that is the reason you are reading this exerpt now. perhaps.

Several of you have inquired about information and i apologize for being lax about answering them. I'll try to address the areas of most concern, but please contact me for any additional questions.

I can be reached via email anytime throughout my service at volunteer@vu.peacecorps.gov and put my name in the subject line. Peace corps will print these out and send them to my site free of charge. i will not have internet access, but i do try to respond either via letter, postcard or aerogram. it just takes awhile!

My mailing address for letters is Katy Stebbins

Peace Corps Volunteer

Pangi Primary School

South Pentecost

vanuatu, south pacific

packages should be sent to the PMB 9097, Port Vila, Vanuatu South Pacific address. if you already sent packages to the other, dont fret, i believe i will still get them. its a bit confusing as to why, but the staff wants all pkgs with green customs forms on them sent to this address.

I will be a primary teacher trainer working on pentecost island, one of the rainest places in vanuatu. I will be working with 5 schools, some are a 4 and 5 hour walk away. My house is a custom house, complete with bamboo walls and thatched roof. separate buildings are for my swim house, the kitchen and a small house (outhouse). During my site walkabout it was yet to be finished, so i will have to send more details in the future! I am the first volunteer at my site which means they are not accustomed to white man. by that i mean the children stare, dare each other to run up to me and touch me and then run giggling back to thier friends, adults are timid to talk with me, and everything i do generates curiosity. and i mean everything! there is no sense of personal space, but yet it was the second lonliest week of my life (only outdone by 10 days of silent meditation in japan). i certainly have my challenges ahead of me. However, there are bright sides to my site! i am on the west coast, which means the days it isnt raining i will see a beautiful sunset over the ocean, and nearby is the site for land diving, what Vanuatu is famous for. I will not have electricity or running water, and my closest volunteer is a six hour walk. its definitely what i asked for, but like i said i dont expect it to be a vacation by any means :) but remember, "Peace Corps is the toughest job you'll ever love"

there is a volcano on Ambae island that is smoking now. rest assured, peace corps is keeping close watch on the progress of this natural threat, and i will not be in any harm of danger. if it did erupt, i would probably experience volcanic ash at my site, and volunteers have been evacuated from Ambae.

there are 16 others in my group and i am the second oldest person in it. we are spread out throughout the islands. there are 90 current volunteers serving in vanuatu now, working in a variety of areas. I am the lone representative of Maine, but there are other "east coast kids" here, battling the heat. it is coming into summertime. its got to be in the 90's most every day (i'm trying not to exagerate, honestly) and i often sweat without exerting effort. its sort of like camping for an extended time. it gets dark around 6pm and after that i rely on propane lanterns or my headlight. i have a solar powered battery charger that seems to work well.

school doesnt start until february, so i will have plenty of time to "settle in" to my community. my house is on school premises which is more secure as far as safety. pangi has the sole bank, health clinic and post office in the southern area, and i have phones in my village which is a privelege. i intend to arrange an "open house" night and invite my community into my house to storyon or listen to music, play cards, or just feed thier curiosity of how white man lives. i hope that will allow the rest of the time to be my private time. i will attend church to get my face known and ask to join them in thier gardens in the bush. its a stark contrast of the busy lifestyle i lived at home. island dresses or "mother hubbards" are a cross between a windsail and a table cloth and are so not flattering its actually humourous. you'll get a chance to see more photos of me in them!

we live off the land, eating fruits and vegetables, although rice is becoming a staple for most. we are trying to change the concept of eating rice and tin fish as a way to appear wealthy and encourage people to eat "aelan kakae" (island food).

i have a puppy i took from teh training village. its a cross breed and very cute, but i forgot how much work puppies are. especially this week in the city, she definitely belongs in teh bush. i will have to be careful that she doesnt get devoured, as i hear they eat dogs on pentecost. her name is Amaros, which means "lucky" in the local language of Mangalilu where we trained. I have a feeling i will need the companionship starting next Wednesday when i get to site. its odd to think i havent even started my tour yet, its been an interesting two months! i expect the toughest to be teh first few months so please feel free to write your words of encouragement!

Please view my photos at the following sites:

http://community.webshots.com/user/KatyVanuatu

http://community.webshots.com/user/KatyVanuatu2

Stay tuned for more!

Most Ni-Vanuatu speak at least three languages even though the majority of did not pass year 6. there are over 110 local languages spread over the islands, Bislama, a form of pigeon english, and either french or english, because Vanuatu is a dual country settlement, funding comes from both England and France, and thre are two different types of schools: anglophone and francophone. this causes a problem as many kids cannot get help with their schoolwork from thier parents if they dont speak the same language, and often times siblings go to different schools and learn to speak different languages. there is a year 6 exam, if you dont pass most likely you will spend the day (if you are a girl) helping mama wash clothes by hand and cook (if you are a boy) work in the garden and gather food from teh ocean either by fishing or collecting shellfish. suppose they do pass, continue to do well, they'll be lucky to find a job upon graduation. the only "jobs" are in port vila or luganville and those are limited. i'm told what usually happens is students are sent back to thier village (secondary schools are few in number and expensive) and there's a gap and disconnect. Communication skills (they speak language other than custom) and their education consists of material in books and lacks the practical skills needed for sustainance. they are a misfit in certain terms. and my task as a primary teacher trainer will be to assist the Ministry of Education in implementing a new pilot program to establish vernacular (local language) in kindergarten, years 1 and 2. because its an oral society, when kids get to school, the idea of reading and writing is foreign to them. add on to that those basic skills of literacy are taught in a language they have never heard (english or french). my job is to encourage the teachers to teach in vernacular those first couple of years and then bridge to the other language. as you can imagine there is plenty of argument both pro and con this program. its true when kids are young their brains are open to learning language, so perhaps its just best just to begin with a foreign language. however on the other hand can we risk children not grasping the fundamental ideas of reading and writing? i believe throughout my term it will be a process of finding a healthy balance. not all the teachers have bought into it, and to be honest i am not convinced i do. at the very least i will be helping primary teachers possess better skills to teach and my group of 5 volunteers is developing a phonics program for English. I'm overwhelmed, i am overwhelmed by the contradictions and inconsistency of my task, but i am up for the challenge and to be part of change. Literacy is a problem worldwide and i hope to contribute to a solution.

Imagine a country fo people who dont own any books and hardly write more than a shopping list in their adult life. i'm not placing judgement, i am just stating a fact that Vanuatu is a country of simplicity. along with this truth (perhaps shocking), is the reality that homelessness and starvation do not exist. there is no such thing as capitalism: if you have the means to support your family, one supports the whole family and probably friends, too. there is no concept of "self" or "mine". it is community in the true sense of the word, looking out for others not only in times of need, but in everyday aspects of life. they hardly make any income, on the outer islands its more of a bartering system, trading something from my garden for something in yours. they dont pay taxes, and if you inquire about how people establish boundaries of land, you'll get an astonishing answer: "people just know". of course land disputes do exist, but on a whole its respected and not argued. the treatment of animals is somewhat offensive: they kick dogs and stone chickens (I find enjoyment in the latter). there is not the idea of pets that we have in western culture. the animals are starving and scavenge whatever food they can find. in fact my first night here as i slept tucked into my mosquito net, i was woken by a loud sound of scratching and plates breaking and had no idea what this barbaric noise was. it scared me more than i'd like to admit, but come to find out it was a dog breaking into the "kitchen", a separate building where they cook. noises are a bit of an icon in Mangalilu, the village where we trained. some time in the middle of the night the dogs compete who can bark the loudest and roosters will crow intermittently throughout the night and morning. one night i was woken by the sound similar to when at a wedding people clink their forks against their glasses for the newleyweds to kiss. a strange noise indeed! i was surprised to find three hermit crabs stranded in a ceramic bowl outside my window. as they attempted to escape, their shells would clank the bowl, but not to worry, i rescued them! the geckos chirp at night and i've become accustomed to their chatter.

If i had the means of recording teh sound of the constant bashing of the waves i hear right now, i could make a large sum of money. people buy cd's to relax and fall asleep to the very atmosphere that surrounds me. i lay on a mat woven by my host mama "klosap long solwata" (near the ocean). Its not a beach persay, but others can be found doing similar; finding respite from the blazing sun under the shade of a tree. As the wind violently batters the sea, a light breeze catches the wisps of hair that escaped my pony-tail and tickle my forehead, not to be confused with the sensation of flies landing all over my body. the sight of the ocean slamming against the rocks reminds me of the power of mother nature. the kind of beauty i'm witnessing now can only be seen in something that possesses also the might to destroy and ruin. what an oximoron mother nature is, the best and worst of what human race can rest our eyes upon. i am fortunate to view the positive aspect today. i am moved by the passion of teh water; exploding, jumping, pounding against whatever lies in its path. i am humbled in the presence of such beauty. have you ever noticed grace in aggression? only in nature do i believe it can be found. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SAT IN NATURE, WITH NO DISTRACTIONS, AND SIMPLY OBSERVED?

Banana tree leaves flutter in the wind, the sound outdone only by the wings of the flying fox overhead. The 3/4 moon hovers above, as if i'm crouching beneath its gaze. Vanuatu is a lush sea of forest, contrasted by the ocean the color of the matchstick I used to light the hurricane lantern that now shines inside. A dog saunters by, unmoved by my presence; one minds less to be unseen in the dark, however in the daytime it is a whole different meaning to feel invisible. the awkwardness of variety wanes as my being adapts to new surroundings. From the outside to an onlooker i still look the same, but i sense my inner pulse in motion. the rythym is changing beats, steadying itself to the island pace. My mind ticks away, but my soul begs for rest; i shall give in to the calling of my spirit, but it beckons a new day which will illuminate opportunity once again.

Rooster and chickens peck at the ground beneath me, searching for sustainancee to survive. At 3:30 in the morning they dont appear so vulnerable as their noise pierces my slumber. The flies test my patience as their presence cannot be ignored. My body craves sleep due to exhaustion from fear of the cockroaches that surround my place of rest. Sweat drips from my brow and the only relief is from the slight breeze my left arm creates with the fan made of pandanus leaves. My skin tingles as beads of sweat kiss the hair on my arms.