I had the amazing and humbling honor to address the 2011 Morehead High School graduates at their commencement.

My supportive family, amazing friends, Peace Corps and travel experiences have been the inspiration. Here is a transcript of the speech...thanks to those who helped me practice and compose it.

Principal Harrington, Teachers, members of the School Board, special guests, parents and especially the 2011 graduates, thank you for this honor to speak to you today.Wow, this is crazy I just gave a talk like this to a group of students a few months ago…it was in a tiny village thousands of miles away on an island where I was a Peace Corps volunteer.Let me tell you about this place…they speak Bislama, a pidgin language with English and French influence and something that I was asked often when I was walking to go somewhere is “Bae yu go we?” which simply means…where ya goin? While the person asking is literally wondering where I was going…I often analyzed that, thought of the question metaphorically…where was I going in life…on this path?I imagine many of you are thinking this now. Bae yufala go wea? Where are y’all goin? And since recently returned home from Peace Corps service, I have truly come full circle, back to where it all started.T.S. Eliot once wrote, "What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." Ok, so I found that off some website which I found fitting…confusing yes, profound perhaps if you have time to digest it. But let’s put it in a more current context. Katy Perry once wrote…”Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?” Whether you get T.S. Eliot or Katy Perry…I think they are both saying that there can always be a new beginning.Who’s really going to remember this speech, maybe a few of you, or just one of you…I certainly don’t remember the speech or speaker 15 years ago probably b/c I was thinking about the beach trip.So I’m trying to put myself in your shoes…many of you are excited, some are anxious, or relieved, some scared to death and perhaps all of the above…some will say that it's the end of the best years of your lives, some say it’s just the beginning. Some are hoopin and hollarin and some go into it silent. No matter how you react or feel, you’re all thinking, what’s to come?When I graduated from Morehead in 96, I was ready to leave, ready to travel, ready for college, ready to get away from small town Eden and I didn’t look back. And now that I am back, I am rediscovering my hometown and reflecting on my years away…so I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned on my journey, on my path. I’m not saying move to Chicago or join the Peace Corps. What I am saying is to find your passion and choose your path because you can.I’m a first generation American, born here to immigrant parents from China who worked hard to put me through college and graduate school, I then worked in advertising and I was comfortable, enjoying the city life. Then decided I wanted to experience another culture, to stretch my limits, to fulfill some itching desire to do something different and maybe give back. So, don’t be afraid of change and perhaps veering off to another path.So, I joined the PC in 2008 and was sent to Vanuatu in the South Pacific and when I got there, I’ve never been so discouraged and down, ready to quit because of the solitude, incessant mosquitoes and having to poop in a hole (yep, I just said poop) Anyways, I was struggling. 2 years…could I do it? And now, 2 years later, I survived.But what I realized while complaining about not having electricity was that I get to leave, I had a choice and that joining PC was my choice so deal with it. This is one thing that I feel we as Americans forget…we have freedom to choose. We have opportunity. Unlike people in other countries and where I was a volunteer…people are either born into a path that is set for them or there just aren’t chances to do what you want in life. It makes me think of an arranged marriage in my village and I would talk to this young girl who felt stuck, her life set forth for her. She had no choice. So take advantage of your freedoms…find your passion and choose your path.I often think about my students at the training center in my village and how they would always want to hear stories about my life here, was it better, did everyone drive a car and watch TV? I would always respond that it wasn’t necessarily better, just different. And I would often ask if they had heard of McDonalds or Brittany Spears and they would say no. Now, that was great. Or I would talk about cosmetic surgery…”people got surgery for bigger what?”So the different perspective I got from them will stay with me forever and I learned a few lessons along the way…first, I fell down, literally and mentally and emotionally…a few times…don’t be afraid to fall down, just get back up, learn from it and become stronger. Embrace the good and the bad…it’s a part of life. All you can do is move forward.Second, build relationships, meet people and discuss, learn about otheir viewpoints. Empathize…put yourself in their shoes. It was the relationships I formed with my host family and community that got me through those 2 years and I sometimes would witness things that were sad or disturbing such as domestic violence, abuse or cultural situations but my host family and friends would help me to understand or just comfort me. There are people in your lives…family, friends and acquaintances who will forever be there for you so trust them and be thankful for their support, no matter where your path leads you. Your teachers now could very well be your friends one day. And with this new beginning means new friends, even if they aren’t like you.Third, have no regrets…think of your future self…would you regret doing it or not doing it? I think about one of the things we learned in Peace Corps training was how to kill a chicken (ok, barbaric but you know that packaged chicken at the grocery store was killed, right?) so now during this training, I was in the make a fire group and so avoided killing the chicken and thought, I would do it once I got to my village. And so, there I was a year later, my host mama is holding the chicken and I am determined to do it…it had a good life running around and now we needed dinner. Think now how you would kill a chicken…chop its head off, wring its neck? Can you believe I am talking about chicken killing at your graduation? And this is likely the only thing you will remember, so be it. And there I was, braced to do it. Where else would I ever have this chance? I stared into its eyes held its neck….........but I couldn’t do it, I just could not do it. Other PCVs had done it, why couldn’t I? I guess you can say I chickened out. But I came to realize that you just have to accept that you can’t do everything or what others might expect of you.Fourth…enjoy the view and slow down. After the primitive life on the islands, I had so much time for once in my life and this was a struggle. There was no TV or internet, no facebook…it was me, my village, nature, the ocean. Find time to cut out the noise. And don't be in such a hurry...it's ok to be independent. Explore the world if you want, bungee in New Zealand, learn Italian by living in Rome, become a glacier guide…you don’t have to settle down just because everyone else is doing it. For me, it’s my schedule, not everyone else’s that I followed. Like I’ve mentioned, you have a choice.Fifth, give of yourself…I truly believe that this world would be a better place if everyone gave a little of themselves for the good of others. That can be to your church, your community or to a small village in the South Pacific. The village where I was a volunteer was so grateful for the workshops I would hold or training I would give but I feel I got so much more than that and it’s forever changed my life. So often you receive a lot more than you give.So, I end by asking Bae yufala go wea? Where will you go? Make your path, learn along the way and always keep learning. Explore and take risks. Face your chicken. Fall and get back up. Laugh, cry and love.To the graduating class of 2011...congratulations and best of luck as you venture along your path.

Well, I'm 33 today...wow. Not wow, I'm old but wow, what an amazing 33 (or more like 28 yrs that can be recalled) years it's been. I grew up in a small NC town, surrounded by southern accents, people who knew me as "Catherine's daughter" from the "oriental", I mean, Chinese restaurant. With my embarrassingly large photos on the wall there, I have enjoyed helping my folks out and catching up w/ people I've not seen for ages or "since you were this big." Being one of the only Chinese families in Eden, people ask me if I faced any racial issues but I can honestly say that I had a easy-going, typical childhood and youth here. Thank you, Eden, NC.

I LOVE birthdays and make a big deal out of them. It's usually a week long...celebrating in NC and Chicago. My 30th was an event, hand-made invites, hotel gift bags...a wedding to myself in Chi-town. My 31st, my first year of Peace Corps, my cohorts and I killed a chicken, had kava, played with fire and watched the sunset.

My 32nd, I was with my village family on Paama, picnicing on the beach, hula hooping with kids and storian with my wonderful community.

And this year, I'm back where it all started, full circle...in my beloved home town where I am reconnecting with and rediscovering.

I hate to admit that growing up here, I was ready to get out once I graduated MHS. But now after exploring the world and back after 7 years away, I'm seeing NC in a whole new light...in appreciation for its beauty and charm.

I didn't have a party, I didn't see any friends (just my family), I didn't even have cake but I did waitress at the restaurant, ate a delicious meal my dad cooked and drove around Eden, seeing it's picturesque roads, houses, rivers and run down factory buildings (pics to come). Though sadly these decaying buildings show the demise of small towns resulting in families moving to larger cities, they were also beautiful and peaceful...a reminder to me that no matter how far and wide we go or how busy with our lives we are...that where we came from, our foundation, our support, our family and friends will help ground us and keep us going in this sometimes chaotic world.

So on the dawn of my 34th year of life, I thank my dear friends who are always understanding of my spastic demeanor and life...for sticking by me and especially for keeping me sane. To new friends and those I've met traveling and abroad...y'all inspire me to keep exploring and to enjoy the view. And last but certainly not the least, I am forever grateful to my parents who have supported and encouraged this journey. happy birthday to me :)

Outbound from the South Pacific…emotionally drained after all the goodbyes. So hard to say farewell to my hut but it's been a month away from Vanautu and I'll be doing some traveling before I head back stateside. Some backpacking in Europe...England, Slovenia, Italy, Spain, Holland, Portugal and Morocco. Whew...a whirlwind. It’s hard to believe that 27 months have passed and my service has ended, although our service truly never ends as we continue to share our experiences with others.

It's been quite overwhelming...the traffic, news, entertainment, technology, choices and people! The anonymity has been great. Not to be stared at and to talk to everyone you meet. Although I was the only metalo (whiteman) on Paama, I feel more alone traveling sometimes, but it's ok really. People aren't as nice, friendly and smiling as they are in Vanuatu either. I do miss that. The hustle and bustle of big cities like London...wow. Slow down people. And I won't get into a rant about the frivolousness of our consumerism because I'm right into it too.

So, a big thanks to my parents for allowing me to travel instead of head straight home. My mom is meeting me in London early January and we will visit Ireland for a few days. Looking so forward to seeing her. Then back to NC January 11th. Can't wait to see my Dad, Cousins and get some of my Dad's delicious cooking!

Counting down my beloved NC friends! Chi-town peeps...hope to get up there in the Spring!

Sending lots of love and peace. Merry Christmas and a Beautiful 2011!

I wasn't ready to say farewell to village life, lap lap and island dresses, even though I am officially an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer)! I went to visit Lauren, Amy, Kathy and Dan on Epi.

Lauren and her family

I fell in love with her Avu woman

4 stages of PCVs (newbie Kathy; half way, Amy O; RPCV, Amy C; and 3rd year senior, Lauren)

Our 6 mile hike

Lauren and our foul

Went spent our last night sleeping in a treehouse on the beach...here's our view. Hemia nao.

My namesake...Emima / Emi Cleaning our reef...removing 600+ crown of thorns!

Ordaining a church elder

Mama's teaSDA last kakae (meal)

Last kava with the papasRTC graduation

Saying goodbye to my family at the airport

This Peace Corps journey has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and experiences. I often tell people who ask about my time here that the highs are really high and the lows and super low…which is what I think can make this experience so difficult but yet so rewarding. In my life back stateside there was less extremes for me. Days and weeks were generally similar or did not range much. You always have your good and bad days.For me here, I’ve been over the moon after completing a youth camp or workshop but then have been depressed and sad because I just wanted to see my family or hug my friend who just found out she’s pregnant. One day I’ll feel so much love and appreciation when I storian with my village people. And then some days the boredom, solitude, bugs and heat drive me mad.Then there are the two extremes of lifestyles I’ve experienced…from this primitive and simple life on Paama without electricity and cooking over fire to the expat life in Port Vila. Dating Ivan (Mr. Nambawan) has been a fun and beautiful time from the Kiwanis black tie ball and races to amazing days on Kakula island. Meeting wonderful friends, Fabi and Andy, Morgane and Kristel, Olivia, Patience and many more I should mention…good times wining and dining. Think gourmet dinners, boat rides and champagne.From miserable, suffocating heat to refreshing, cool rain…the annoying mosquitos and the adorable chicks…from missing loved ones to receiving packages and letters… love, heartache and saying goodbye. It’s all about experiencing life and every emotion it has to offer. You have to see the dark in order to see and appreciate the beautiful light.

Things I love and will miss about PaamaDinner with my family, no T.V. just storian

The Mamas’ laughs

The amazing tropical jungle and the hiking

The carefree naked kids playing with bush knives and fire

Canoe rides with my Papa Isaiah

Cooking over fire

The smiling faces

The peace and quiet

Not wearing a watch

Star gazing while I brush my teeth every night

The cool breeze when it’s scorching hot

Going to the gardens and then eating what you’ve grown

In bed by 9p

Being awoken not by an alarm but by the roosters crowing and birds singing

Naps

SunsetsSnorkeling in the crystal clear ocean

KAVA!

Storian

Community gatherings, kakaesMy weekly hike to Liro to go to the bank, post office and to watch soccer

The Mamas’ market

Church and singing

Picnic lunch with the SDA church under the mango tree every Sabbath

Fresh, organic foods…pomplemousse, pineapple, mangoes, avocado, namambei nut

Making laplap with my mama EvaEating laplap and simboro, especially manioc

Fresh caught fish

Drinking coconuts

Using a bush knife (machete)

Leaf arnis tea

Hearing custom stories and black magic

Storian with the old fala

Yoga and runs on the beach in the morning

Time to read, write and sew

The crickets that lull me to sleep every night

Hearing the approaching wind and rain through the Paama hills

The rain falling on the natagora leaf roof of my hut

The sound of the waves crashing nearby

Seeing dolphins, dougongs and turtles swimming

Evenings in my hut by candlelight

Rock hopping the coast of Paama

Writing and receiving snail mail

Being so low maintenance, having little care for my appearance and not looking in a mirror for days

The hens pecking around with their chicks

My Paama familyThings I won’t miss much Missing my family and friends

Incessant mosquitos

Ants

Rats

bucket showers although I got used to it

hauling water up to my house when the water is cut off

The HEAT and humidity

Washing clothes by hand although I didn’t mind it that much

The sometimes slow pace

The solitude, loneliness and boredom

The staring and gawking

Feeling left out when they speak Paama language

I love when there are visitors on Paama. It’s like seeing Paama for the first time again through newborn eyes. The little things that I take for granted having lived here for 2 years…the carefree nature of the kids who play with fire and knives, smiling faces and welcoming handshakes, the cute chicks and their mother hens pecking around (although they can annoy me sometimes), the lush green of the Paama hills, the cool breeze on the beach and those magnificent sunsets.Connie, a German native who lives in Australia with her husband and sons, came to Paama to visit with people who are handicapped or disabled. Oftentimes, they hide these individuals from shame or lack of knowing what they can or should do. Connie revealed a statistic that 10% of a population is handicapped or disabled. Which makes about 150 on Paama with a population of about 1500...which seems high but can't be denied since so many are hidden away. She discovered several during her week stay here, many of them coming to light gradually throughout the week but it took some digging.I spent Sunday with her…which was also Father’s Day in my village so the nakamal was bustling with preparations. Bread and tea for breakfast followed by rice, chicken, fish and laplap for lunch. I accompanied her to visit a 7-month old girl, Karina whose mother, Marie is hearing disabled and Karina born with club feet and abnormal hand. She had been operated on but Connie found that her knees may impede her walking. She showed Mama Marie exercises to do with Karina to make her strong.We then visited Catherine age 28 with Downs Syndrome who has had a good life, involved daily with housework, cleaning, washing and sewing. Her family has been a good support for her, although some days she spends sitting under the mango tree from sun up to sun down.Our last stop was a visit with Morris, a 9 month old who my Papa Isaiah has been treating with custom leaf. At 5 months, the parents say Morris was cursed with black magic…Connie found the top of his skull was not fully closed which meant that he may not have a fully developed brain. This was evident by its unsettled crying and even more so by his non-focusing eyes and non-reaction to the banging of a plate. Morris was blind and deaf. It was heartbreaking to see but the Mama was always smiling, cuddling with Morris and showing him love. His Papa too, although he sat aside with a look of worry and concern. His motor skills were of a newborn, not a 9 month old. Connie patiently sat while his Mama nursed him…a reason why he was fatfat and often what she did to quiet him. Connie gave some exercises for them to do with him and encouraged themThis time with Connie showed me another facet of this place which has made me wish I had more time. Awareness and talking about it to people with the short time I have left , I hope will at least help to get it out in the open instead of keeping it hidden. There's always more we can do.

This slow and primitive island life has its own drama and soap opera sagas and here are a few of the story lines...Ana has two daughters, Esta the eldest and Serah. Esta has two children whose husband lives in Vila as a result of Esta’s mother Ana having had an affair with Esta’s husband… or in other words, he was seduced by his mother-in-law. This happened last season and now this season’s story gets juicier. Esta begins seeing Ison (who is also my RTC manager’s brother) and he gets her pregnant. Esta’s parents refuse to let them be together since Esta already has kids and instead encourages Serah, her younger sister who is also an RTC student to get with Ison. So, Serah seduces her sister’s boyfriend, Ison and she is upset that Esta is pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby. Now she is telling everyone that she too is pregnant with his baby. Whoa. Next…a particular church group who are thought of as more morally "good"on Paama are not without their drama. Roslyn is married to Brown with twin girls and a boy. Nelly and Massing are married with two boys. Brown was caught creeping and spying on Nelly and even calling the public phone near her house just to hear her voice. A few villages over, teenager David has a crush on a sweet girl Doku who suddenly faints after being shined on with a flashlight and put in a trance. He learned from his adopted grandfather Silas (who also is the fastest kava chugger) how to cast a spell (black magic) on someone that makes her fall in love with you. Doku falls ill and is taken to the clinic where her mother arrives by plane from Vila to exercise out the spell and demon. RTC manager Sandy is so overloaded with work for school and family. Not only does he manage and teach at the RTC but his wife, Helen does not go to the garden, does not cook, clean or wash clothes. She’s known to just toss dirty clothes on the lawn and leave them. Poor Sandy is left to take care of everything for his wife and two boys (with another on the way).

I’m proud to say that I’ve now visited every village on Paama! Yay me. That’s about 25 villages which doesn’t seem like many to get to in two years, but let me tell you how difficult it can be. There are even many people here who have spent their entire lives on Paama and have never been to all the villages.

Not surprisingly when I began my first attempt to Luli my first month at site December of 2008, I had not yet experienced the hills of Paama. Most villages lie in the valleys snug between the mountainous terrain. My 30 minute weekly hike to Liro consists of about 4 climbs but each followed by a nice, flat stroll.

On the other hand to get to the 2 villages on the east side, Luli and Lulep, it’s straight up and down hills, with no steps built in, just dirt paths among tropical foliage and coconut plantations. The nature and views are amazing, that is when I’m not out of breath after a treacherous trek.

So my first attempt in 2008 to Luli was planned for a marriage of a cousin brother, Morris. My Mama Eva tells me during dinner that she’ll come wake me around 4 a.m. the next morning to start the hike. Thinking that this was “island time”, I anticipated she meant 5 or 6 a.m. but she knocks on my door even earlier, around 3:30 a.m. While still groggy from sleep, I hurriedly dressed with no chance for a coffee or breakfast and we were off while the sun had not yet peaked through the hills.

The first climb started through the coconut plantation…a very large and steep coconut plantation. I was huffing and puffing after 30 minutes into the climb and had to rest. I was determined to not holdback my family although my sisters went ahead and my Mama Eva shared my pace. We began the steep hike again and then a steep descent and after 10 minutes my legs were shaking. I was shocked. I’m in relatively good shape and enjoy hiking but the hills of Paama won.

I didn’t want to hold up my Mama so she asked if I wanted to hang back because the climb would continue this way for another hour and a half. If we could have rested more maybe, I would have made it but at our pace, there was no way.

I felt defeated and the people in my village didn’t let me hear the end of it asking, “Luli i winim yu?” followed my laughter. So yeah, it’s been 20 months since my first attempt and I made it. However, not without some struggle but the amazing views and victory of “winning Luli” made it worth it.that's me winning Luli...the view of Lopevi volcano

The day was cool and sunny for my sister, Lenneth’s, custom ceremony for her upcoming marriage. The youngfellas of my village lead our family’s 2 female cows down close to the shore. My papa asked me to take some photos of him with his cows, which he raised and cared for 5+ years. He didn’t want to be present for their slaughter.Ison, my RTC manager’s brother and another youth from my village held up the rifle as many of us clasped our ears in anticipation of the screaming bullet that was aimed for the cow’s head. Traditionally, the cow is struck on the head with an ax but luckily, my papa has a rifle, although the bullets are small ones. It did the job though…one shot in the forehead and the cow was put down. Its neck was then cut to make sure and several of the guys began chopping away with an axe and knives. They dissected it open, removing the insides as blood trickled out of a vein in the neck. Surprisingly, there was less blood than I would have thought. One of the cows, sadly, was pregnant with a tiny fetus that could fit a palm.

Most every part of the cow will be cooked and eaten. They cut the cow up into four pieces and hauled each large, heavy piece to the nakamal to skin and slice into smaller pieces, some of which to be cooked and the rest to be given to each family who attends the celebration.Since being here, I guess it can be said that I’ve been somewhat desensitized to the killing of animals although I cannot manage to kill anything but mosquitoes and ants which I must massacre on a weekly basis with a poisonous spray. I did think about killing a chicken once…stared right in its eyes as my host mama Eva is holding it, explaining that I take the quill of the feather and stick it in its ear in order to puncture the brain which kills it instantly. This isn’t something I haven’t seen before even when I was younger on trips to China where they will chop the heads off. Nothing I can’t handle, but I just could not bring myself to do it. I really wanted to…where and when will I ever have the chance to kill a chicken? Many of us, minus the vegetarians, eat chicken almost daily but purchase it packaged, pink and slimy, ready for a frying pan, grill or oven. So, as you gasp, remember it had to be killed too. Brianna Russell, my Paama partner had the courage to choke a chicken. Really, she choked it to death. There’s even footage on facebook if you want to see it! And not only that, she killed a pig (small chief Brianna:) Needless to say, I couldn’t do either but I do have a few more months here so maybe I’ll get the guts to do it. (no pun intended)

The Rural Training Center(RTC) on Paama now has 10 students attending, of which five will graduate this November. We’ve lost a couple teachers, attendance is not always good and the RTC will not be getting a replacement Peace Corps Volunteer…these issues have been disheartening. There are RTCs on other islands that have 30 students and some who are struggling to keep a few so we are right in the middle…at least we are running. Without permanent teachers, Sandy, the manager and I have created a school plan to bring in men and women around Paama who have certain skills, knowledge or experiences to do workshops. I’ve recently started the computer class, did a First Aid workshop and made collages. A papa who worked in the vineyards in New Zealand will come present about his experience and some mamas will be showing the students how to sew shirts, hanging clothes baskets and how to make different island food. The bank manager will also be coming to talk about savings plans and why one should save money in the bank instead of burying it in the ground which is what many do. It has been a challenge here to encourage enrollment and attendance, partly because the people of Paama do not struggle for food or shelter. These basic necessities are easily met by going to the garden, fishing and working with the community to build a house. For us, we must go to school or learn a trade in order to find a job, earn money to buy food and pay rent or a mortgage. There’s less need here for money so in turn the challenge of promoting the importance of attending school can be difficult. It’s a blessing that they can survive from the land, ocean and man power. The materialism that our society is so addicted to is still not as prevalent although mobile phones have just been introduced during my time here on Paama so another expense now added. And there’s often someone asking if I can get them a DVD player or digital camera so it’s happening here too… While the advancements in communication and living is improving the lives of the people here, there's also the downside that the more we have, the more we want. So, the inevitable is gonna happen with more households getting electricity and thus more getting T.V.s and DVD players. I just hope this untouched paradise takes its time getting there.

While In Port Vila, as per Independence Day festivities similar to what we witness on the 4th of July, fireworks are set off and the town is bustling with tourists and Ni Vanuatu visiting from the outer islands. Though on Paama there were no fireworks, but we did celebrate all week...island style. Leading it off with Children’s Day where kids marched, games were played and candy was eaten.Several communities, about 10 villages, come together in Liro village and set up stalls (booths) to sell food and other handcrafts. There’s a stage, music (usually string band or the few popular songs that are played incessantly) and MC who announces activities. This year, the MALAMPA province provided 400,000vatu (about 4,000USD) for the celebration and a committee was formed to create a program for each day. Competitions included sports (football i.e. soccer, volleyball, island relay, canoe race, swimming) as well as best island dress, string band, church choir, best food stall and fastest kava chugger (I would have lost). Other races included fastest mat weaver, best sand drawing, and even custom magic (although I missed that show).It was such a fun week…I participated in the island dress show, donned with one of my sister Lenneth’s new dresses from her powder shower and Auntie Eda made me a hat made from a coconut leaf with flowers and balloons dangling from and bouncing around my head. Each mama approached the stage dancing and gesturing, bowing and curtsying. We all danced on stage while flapping our island dresses. It was a sight.One evening, after Mama Eva and little sister Lisa left (it’s a 40 min hike or 20 min canoe row to Liro), I stayed with my Papa Isaiah to drink kava. Women on Paama don’t usually drink kava although some do privately so it’s really lucky that I have the opportunity to storian with the papas and uncles while enjoying kava. After a couple shells for me (and quite a few for my Papa Isaiah), we ventured to the next village where his canoe is parked and we climb aboard while the waves crash around us. The ocean is slightly rough and we start to paddle…my headlamp leading us home. It was difficult to see and with a kava buzz and rocking, I just closed my eyes and paddled, hoping to keep the laplap in my belly but nope, I fed the fish on the way. We made it safely back to Tahi…me stumbling back up to my hut.On the 30th, I was invited as a special guest along with other “bigman” of North Paama to be recognized, given a “flower greeting” and to sit on stage during the flag raising, Vanuatu National Anthem and speeches. Other “bigman” (they really say that) included chiefs, government workers, school headmasters, church ministers and community leaders. It’s humbling to be up there, with only a few women and being the only metalo (whiteman in Paama language…as they call me here, although I try to explain to them that I’m yellow J). Afterwards, we were invited to a “cocktail party” where we ate rice with beef, cookies, cake, twisties (equivalent to our cheetos/cheez doodles but nowhere as good, especially while acting like a Peace Frog) and drink juice which is really just coolaide. Yeah, I drank the coolaide.

The oldest of the Avock family is my sister Lenneth age 24 who lives on another island, Epi with her daughter and husband to be. It’s not uncommon for couples to bear children before the official marriage ceremony. There are several parts to custom marriages that lead up to the actual religious union. Similar to our engagement parties and bridal/groom showers, one of them is when Aunties of the bride who had given the bride a name when she was born*, dress the bride. (*Most Ni-Vanuatu have several names…my little sister Lisa is also a Joyce and Kenny given to her by aunties.) So the “dress the bride” shower for my sister, Lenneth is the reason for the 2 cows being killed. Large bags of rice, yam, manioc and other root crops are brought by family and friends as gifts. They also bring mats, calico, bed sheets and blankets. During the dressing of the bride, all the aunties start to dress my sister with island dresses…removing one and putting on another. Baby powder is doused over her or properly called here “swim long powda”. Her sisters, Mar, Lisa and myself and mama Eva are also dressed in new island dresses. I wasn’t prepared for this and didn’t wear a bra (love that I don’t have to wear them here! J). An Auntie strips my dress off and I practically flash all the Mamas! Then got drenched with baby powder as well. More dresses and calico peeled off and on, whiffs of snowy powder float all around us…After the powder shower (a new name, I’m giving it), we returned back to the nakamal where papas are eating the freshly butchered, organic beef with rice and island cabbage. Kids are running around the rows of “party favors” that are set out for each family…yam and beef. We then gather around for the presenting of all the gifts. First mats, then blankets, sheets, calico, more island dresses and a bucket, some dishes and money.Music plays while I bounce around (yep, that’s me) and storian with family and friends who are visiting. It was an amazing day, surreal and beautiful.

It’s now 15 weeks until the end of my Peace Corps service and what a journey it’s been. The roller coaster ride of emotion I’ve experienced, from the tears that fell when I first arrived because of my loneliness to what soon will be tears of sadness about leaving this place I’ve called home for two years. In almost every conversation I have with someone here these days, they mention something about my near departure and I always say “Mi no wantem tink abaot, i gat taem yet blong storian.” I don’t want to think about it, there’s still time to story. I’ve made some amazing relationships here. My host family for one…my wonderful and generous host mama Eva who never asks me for anything and is nurturing and caring to all seven (me included) of her children. I joke with people here about being the oldest of her seven children, but the last born. My host papa Isaiah, the alpha male who encourages my kava drinking (thank goodness because my mama and sisters are SDA), loves to storian about his life. Then there’s Uncle Hapi age 66 who I often visit on afternoons to storian with. He is incredibly smart, used to run the Co-Op store, chair the RTC committee and has traveled to England. We talk about everything under the Paama sky from politics, religion, family, travel, education or just village news. The SDA mamas who I spend Sabbath Saturdays at church with, have been a huge support for me these past two years. The Minister’s wife, Lylin especially who is always so appreciative of my presence. I participate with their bible study and will sometimes tell stories to the kids…the boy who cried wolf, little red riding hood or my experiences here and back home in the states. After service, a group picnic under the mango tree with a cool breeze through the Paama hills as our backdrop.

I am trying to appreciate and soak in this place and the people with what time I have remaining. I walk down to the beach everyday and have decided that I’ll do a post about “My last 10 Paama sunsets.” While days often drag, time stops when I am sitting on the beach, the waves lightly crashing, drinking a coconut my little brother opened for me with a bush knife (machete) and gazing at the sky while clouds float overhead, the sun’s rays peeking over the horizon. Not one sunset painting is the same…God’s beautiful canvas. I’m sometimes the only one on the beach which I can’t imagine will happen many other places I will be in the future. So peaceful, so beautiful and along with these amazing people, will be so missed.

One of my mantras here is to have "no expectations"...schedule a meeting and wait. Could be a couple hours or it could be noone shows up. Thank God for books. People in my village often ask me if life is better in America...we have nice houses, cars, TVs, computers so of course we do, or not? I always tell them it's not better, but different, although I could argue that in many ways it is better here in Vanuatu. There are no homeless people, no starving children, no war. If you get a chance to watch Meet the Natives (I've only seen the UK episodes), it shows 5 men from Tanna, Vanuatu experiencing life in England and there's a particular scene that I like...they are in a big city and they see people sleeping on the streets and ask their hosts, why do they sleep on the street, where are their families, mama and papa, uncles, aunties and why don't they build them a house? How simple...why not build them a house? Not only are there no homeless Ni Vanuatu but they have amazing land that grows almost anything. Kumala (sweet potato), yam, taro, manioc (casava, my fav), peanuts, cucumber, tomato, pineapple, pomplemousse (like grapefruit but sweeter), cabbage...I eat so well here and I love laplap despite those gagging right now (alex). When my Mama makes it with heavy coconut milk, coming right off the heated stones, my mouthwaters...yum.Since subsistence farming is the way of life here, the Ni Vanuatu are lucky to be able to live off the land which in turn makes education seem less important in order to get a job to earn money to feed their family. Money is mainly needed for school fees and household items but students often don't find education important which can be a challenge here. Youth here do not "date". Boys and girls unless they are related do not socialize much together so it's either you don't associate or are friending and having sex, bare a child and then marry...weddings are expensive so it often happens in this order. Arranged marriages happen often as well.With no electricity, no lights in my village, I have come to appreciate the moon to light the way at night. I've never seen the stars so bright and been so drawn to the energy of the moon. Many ask if I feel I am making a difference here, whether I am "saving the world"but I don't want to make any claims that I am making their lives better...I can certainly list the projects I've worked on but ultimately, I feel it's the relationships, the friendships that I've formed that I know make an impact. Not only am I a part of a family and community but I've found a second family here and they've shown me love and generosity that I will forever cherish.

Hi friends and family!

You may have already purchased a bag or basket (thank you!) or read/heard me talk about this project Brianna and I have been working on during our Peace Corps service and if not, here's a description from a past blog post:

http://whatsupamychan.blogspot.com/2009/04/basket-for-change.html

Paama Mamas at an ABC workshop

A Basket for Change brought ~70,000VATU ($700) to the Mamas of Paama in 2009 and we are working on additional styles of baskets such as reusable grocery bags. Thanks to the ACTIV (http://www.activ.com.vu/products_abc.htm) fair trade organization and shop in Port Vila as well as my Mom and those in NC who purchased an ABC basket in December, we are now reaching out to friends and family who are willing to purchase multiple baskets (5, 10, 20 or more) and to distribute/sell them to their friends and family.

We’ve created a brochure that will accompany each bag that describes A Basket for Change and what we are all about. Our website, http://abasket4change.org/ is in progress and will soon point to the ACTIV fair trade site where ABC baskets are sold.

If you would like to help and support ABC, send an email to abasket4change@gmail.com. Each basket costs $5-$8. If you have web design or development skills and would be willing to help us create a website, let us know. (Hi to all my Hodes colleagues!) Thanks to those who have supported A Basket for Change…the Paama Mamas are grateful for your help.

Brianna and I at an ABC workshop

KAMP GLOW followup T-shirt painting

My village Mama's attend an agriculture workshop at the RTC

conducted by a teacher from the Agriculture College in Santo

Brianna and I enjoying a sunset boat ride...Wan Smol Bag, an NGO in Port Vila came to Paama to conduct an environment workshop and we tagged along with them

Me with my Paama Mamas...love them!

RTC students attending a practical session in our RTC garden

Field trip with RTC students

Our village nakamal (meeting place) being torn down

The village work together to get wood for the new nakamal roof

Sweet pikininis. Here's Jeremiah...always laughing

When I first arrived on Paama, I felt alone, sad and terrified about starting a new life in a strange place with its relentless pests and heat but after getting over these discomforts (kind of), it’s the relationships I’ve formed that have helped me through. The RTC having to start over after being closed for a year was without a couple teachers and one day when I was hanging out on the beach with some Mamas, I saw this woman who I had a hunch would be able to help me…little did I know that this hunch would bring me an amazing friend, confidante, teacher and leader.

Elsie arrived to Paama eight years ago from Pentecost (another island in Vanuatu), where she was born and grew up. She was a student at an RTC there and also worked in Port Vila. When I approached her about a possible teaching position at the RTC, I had no idea her qualifications and basically went out on a limb. Lucky for me, she was talented, smart and not scared to be involved. It’s been a real challenge here to find individuals who are not embarrassed to talk in front of a group, let alone to teach or lead.

Elsie became an amazing teacher and leader in the community. Not to say that I made her this way, it was always in her, but giving her the opportunity to show her talent and encourage her was all she needed. She’s been a Godsend to me and she often tells the story of how she had dreamed about an angel coming into her life to help her.

A successful year at the RTC and other groups began to recruit her as well. She became the Vice President of the PWMU (Presbyterian Women’s Mission Union) and also a leader in her village. She was also an integral part of the youth camp that Brianna and I held. When she presented and led sessions confidently and enthusiastically, I felt so proud. Along with her work, she tends to her garden, village fundraisers, events and raises two sons.

While she progressed professionally, I also found my best friend on Paama. I have my host family, of course, who I adore but Elsie and I enjoyed kava together, talked about life, relationships and had loads of laughs. She was always dependable and I could trust her with anything. I truly felt at home in Paama having her in my life.

Sadly, I had to say goodbye to Elsie. After being away in Port Vila, I arrived back to Paama hearing that she might be leaving and I immediately went to visit her last Friday. She said she was expecting me as I walked up to her as she defeathered a chicken for what turned out to be her “last kakae”. One custom or tradition here are what’s called last kakaes (last meals) which is a goodbye meal before one leaves, as I will have at the end of my service.

Elsie and I prepared food to put on the fire and began making kava, which is the first time I’ve ever prepared kava solely with someone. As we ram the kava, she tells me why she is leaving…

Her husband who is working in Port Vila and has been for a year now, has left her to live in his village and while she’s managed well, she’s also faced hard times with her village and some men have “creeped” her which means coming to her house and wanting to “hang out” or what not. She’s rejected them but rumors start as they will…coconut wireless as it’s called here. The two men were fined, she felt shamed and people just kept talking about her. Jealousy of her new positions, the attention, her friendship with me all likely had a part in her having to leave. Without the support of her husband as well, she found she could not stay.

I was devastated to be losing my best friend as well as an RTC teacher. I cried, she cried, we drank kava and tried not to think about her leaving and the next morning I walked with her to the airport. Gave her a couple photos of her and her kids and one of her and me with a note about how our friendship will always be.

Since then, I’ve talked to her several times and she’s found work in Port Vila so while I won’t get to spend time with her here in Paama, I’ll join her for a shell of kava whenever I'm in Port Vila.

Incessant rain during the month of March drenched Paama almost daily and as Brianna and I planned for a three day Kamp G.L.O.W. (Girls leading our world) and one day B.I.L.D (Boys in leadership development ), we were anxious about whether it would prevent the youth from attending. We were also awaiting the arrival of supplies such as T-shirts, paint, folders and prizes. In addition, we were without the help of Epi Peace Corps Volunteers who were unable to come because of the rough waters caused by a couple cyclones in the South Pacific. Brianna arrived to my village with my Papa by canoe in the pouring rain and we prayed for good weather the following day.

We woke to cloudy skies and a sporadic rain drops but a few youth began trickling in and before we knew it, there were 30! We were ecstatic though a bit overwhelmed. Did we have enough materials? Was there enough food? Would facilitators arrive to help present since we scheduled a full day of sessions which would have been difficult for Brianna and I to administer alone.

With 30 participants, we had a packed room where the boys and girls sat respectively on either side with a very distinct division. We began with introductions, Brianna and I going first and the youth council chairman followed by the facilitators which included men and women community leaders, RTC teachers and manager. We combined lecture-style, participatory (although this was difficult with boys and girls combined), group discussion/presentation and role play in our sessions, finding that it was difficult to rally participation with such a large group so breaking up the groups, usually boys and girls was beneficial.

Our morning sessions included Leadership, Communication, Income Projects and How to write a letter. Facilitators were a tremendous help, providing personal experiences and giving Brianna and I time to rest as well as to make sure logistics and food were in order although one of us would always be present for every session. After lunch, we began with Healthy Relationships in which we discussed domestic violence and had two speakers talk about their relationships with their husband/wife and how they chose he/she, how they share responsibilities and solve problems and fights. We then separated the boys and girls and prepped my RTC manager, Sandy and a teacher to talk to the boys about rape by describing the issues faced in American prisons. This was obviously a heavy conversation and we were unsure of how it went since we were with the girls but Sandy reported that they were shocked and hopefully put the issue in a different perspective.

The afternoon sessions included STI/AIDS in which, Albert, the Liro health clinic nurse came to present. The girls and boys were again split up and condoms, both male and female types were shown. Albert then spoke to the youth about how women in Port Vila, the capital, would sometimes insert a female condom before they go out dancing in case they are raped, although some women would not term it as “rape” but instead “something that just happens to women.” We were shocked but not surprised because although the treatment of women can be deemed worse in other developing countries where women have no human rights, it sadly remains a prevalent issue in Vanautu. The following two days, we led sessions about female and male reproductive organs, condom usage, resume writing, gossip, goal making and youth in action with the hope that they would share what they’d learned with other youth in their villages. Since the conclusion of our KAMP, we’ve received supplies and will be holding a follow-up workshop to paint shirts.

Our three day KAMP GLOW (& one day BILD) was everything we’d hoped it would be and we were worn out. Having to participate in every session without the help of other PCVs was demanding but well worth the exhaustion. It was truly a highlight of my service on Paama.

Just finished reading The Power of Now by E. Tolle and so much of what I took from this book has made me realize that I must embrace what is happening this very moment…that the “noise” we so often listen to in our heads can be way too cumbersome to our psyche. Instead of thinking about the past…wishing to get a moment back or wanting to erase a bad memory… it’s all putting too much pressure on us and preventing happiness, contentment, enlightenment so to speak. Likewise thinking about the future (which I am very much guilty of doing)…the indulgences of Port Vila to come in 34 days or the next chapter of my life after Peace Corps also prevent me from truly enjoying this time here. I have plenty of time to think, reminisce and pine but instead I need to be present and to not think so much and to push out the noise.

And interestingly enough, the Ni Vanuatu may have it all figured out. Like I’ve mentioned before, they lead a simple life on the islands…they go to the gardens every few days in order to feed themselves or make a mat for an upcoming event but otherwise, there’s less noise. Daily, you find the people here are sitting around, chatting and enjoying nature. There’s no hurry here…when I say “island time”…it truly explains what life on the islands is about.

When I do get to go to the capital, Port Vila, I am always busy, getting work done, meeting up with friends and attending various social events. While on the islands, my days are rarely filled with busy work. RTC class, a meeting (starting hours later, if at all) or event (again, starting hours later) on the islands happen weekly and the rest of the time is spent gardening, preparing food, eating, enjoying nature with family and friends and oftentimes waiting. As for me, reading of course, watching Heroes and movies (thanks, Ivan!) and various other projects help to fill my time and as the sun is setting, I make visits to households to storian with my village, eat and in bed by 9pm. And that’s island life…one that I am learning daily to embrace and enjoy.

My family and I started loosely planning my birthday party a week ahead…who to invite (the village, community, elders?, to send invites?), food (of course laplap and cake) and venue (ah…the event planner in me, getting to use the word venue…fantastic).

Wonderful Ivan sent care packages filled with goodies…cookies, glowsticks, a bottle of whiskey for my papas and uncles (as well as mental relief for me of movies and Heroes). My mama, sister and best friend Elsie began food preparations in the morning…my sister and I grating manioc (my fav) for laplap, baking cakes and my mama killing a couple chickens in minutes, I can attest.

My papa set up a tented area on the sandbeach, some uncles and brothers began ramming kava, building a bond fire and kids picking beautiful flowers for décor. Was this really happening? A full on birthday party?

I was tired after making food (remember, this means over a smoking, hot wood burning fire), carrying mats to the beach and setting up but seeing it all pulled together I was ecstatic. By 5pm, people started arriving with food and some with presents…I received 5 island dresses, soap and laundry detergent (very common birthday presents on Paama) and got doused with baby powder (previous posts explain this custom). I got to join the papas and brothers for kava and conversation (storian) then hula hooped with the kids and helped mamas share food. The sun began setting, they sang happy birthday/hapi long laef and with a nice kava buzz, glowsticks glittering, we ate and laughed together. A fabulous 32nd birthday indeed.

After an indulgent couple months away from site, I arrive back to Paama’s small airport in Tavie where my host Papa greets me and we row the canoe about 40 minutes to my village…in the rain. During the arduous but peaceful (although this time wet) canoe ride to my home, I find out that some guys had broken into my hut by cutting the screen and then stealing various items of which were mostly returned. (Mom and Dad, don’t worry, I’m very safe here, promise)So, not only was my hut infested with ants (which I then have to massacre) and spiders (which I don’t mess with because they eat other bugs) but I also come back to it broken into. My Papa forewarned me and explained how all the chiefs and elders from the nearby villages came together after having caught the young man who committed the crime as well as to meet to discuss apologizing to me.

That's my house on the left side, nestled in the hill, RTC has the white roof.

I was disheartened a bit …a new year, my last 12 months of service and it’s not started out quite positively. On the contrary though, I was comforted…a blessing in disguise really.

It was late when I was settled and after unpacking a little, had dinner, I was under my mosquito net falling asleep to the sound of the singing crickets and insect orchestra…not wanting to think about readjusting back to village life nor this fiasco. My meeting with the community chiefs and elders would take place in the morning.

I awoke to the roosters crowing and birds whistling, did my usual morning yoga and then coffee. I made my way down to the nakamal (village gathering place and also a place to drink kava) where they awaited to meet with me. The Tahi chief, Joshua (28 year old new chief who I work with and respect a great deal) began the meeting with an explanation of what occurred, apologies from the village and how much they hoped I would not want to leave. The chiefs and elders of neighboring villages stood up to apologize and appeal to any desire of my wanting to leave. A Mama also gave a speech.

After their toktoks (speeches), it was my turn to respond. And here’s what I said in Bislama (followed by its translation)

Mi tink se yufala bin tink bae mi cros wetem wanem I hapin mo mi no harem gud.

I think that you all have thought that I would be angry with what happened and that I would not be happy.

Be mi harem gud from se mi save yufala bin tink hevi long wanem I bin hapin mo bin tink abaot tink tink blong mi mo wanem bae mi mekem.

But I am happy because I know you all have been worried about what has happened and how I would feel /react.

Taem we mi bin stap long Amerika, mi no bin tink abaot ol samting long haos blong mi, be mi bin tink abaot yufala…ol famili blong mi long Paama.

When I was in America, I did not think about all the things in my house, I was thinking about you all, my family in Paama.

So I continued to talk about how a year has passed and how at home I felt here. My village and community truly are a family and I feel entirely safe here. (Mom and Dad, again, don’t worry!) They actually thought I would want to leave Paama. But I explained how could I leave family when I only have a year left with them?

This gave way to a good time to reflect on a year passed, now midway…several weeks in as I write this and as another volunteer, Sandy Su explains it so well…

A “mid service meltdown…what is it about being smack dab in the middle of something that freaks even the most rational of human beings out so much? From the infamous midlife crisis to the dreaded ‘hump day’ or even getting the middle seat on an airplane, people who find themselves in the midst of things tend to get a little uncomfortable.

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re caught equally between the beginning and the end so you can’t help but worry about both the past and the future at the same time. The end isn’t in sight yet and the novelty and excitement of the situation you had at the beginning has worn off. Maybe it’s that upon reflection of the past you realize things aren’t where you hoped they would be at this point, so you panic a little.”

So, there are good days and bad (thus is life) and tears still come and go some days because a year still does seem like a long time. It also makes me think about how difficult and sad it will be to leave when my service is complete. The strong and everlasting bond I’ve formed with this place, these people who will forever be a part of me.

They often tell stories about Jamie, a former volunteer here in my village and what a legend he is! And they talk about how alike I am to Jamie, in the sense that I am so well integrated and part of the Paama family. What a complement this is and I realize that as much as I come here to “help” them…in so many ways, they are helping me grow, learn and discover what life is all about.

Now that I have completed a year of service (plus 3 months of training) and I've had the opportunity to visit stateside, I've had some time to reflect on this past year and the experiences I've had. While home, most people asked me simply, "How's it going over there?" and that is quite the loaded question really and I often answered, "Well, good and bad...such is life for most people, right? For me in Peace Corps, the highs are high and the lows have been my lowest lows."

My experiences both here in Vanuatu and the visit home has helped me dissect what is it that makes me/us happy? We in the "western, modern" society have plentiful choices (the menu of drinks at a coffeeshop or the number of cereals, ice cream, bread and so on), material things (so many people have iPhones now), luxuries (there's medication to help eyelashes grow? Really?) and technology (the amazing twitterability to not only stay in touch with hundreds of friends but to know their hourly play by play).

Then there's my village life...simple and primitive. No electricity which means no T.V., internet, no Starbucks or Walmarts, no Blackberries, no cold drinks or fast food, little to no access to the people outside of the country although people do travel by ship sometimes to other islands. Stores here are small, carrying only some necessary items...rice, tin fish, soap, candles and such.

Most of our days consist of being awaken by the sound of roosters crowing (although they crow almost hourly, no alarm clock) by 6am although my Mama gets up at 4am, then building a fire to make tea and boil some plantains for breakfast. Afterwards, kids are sent off to school, some washing is done, feeding of the pigs and chicken that roam free around the house, moving the cows, cutting wood, and then a hike to the gardens (and I do mean hike because of the hills). Lunch of boiled kumala (sweet potato) and island cabbage then a nap because it's too hot to do anything else! By 5pm, the men often drink kava together and the women are preparing for dinner, washing some more and caring for the children. Lots of time is spent just hanging out, sitting and "storian" or chatting. When do we ever have time to do that unless we plan meals together or weekends? I eat dinner with my family around 6pm, take a bucket shower, read in bed by 8:30am and asleep by 10p. What a life.

The Ni-Vanuatu lead simple but happy lives without being inundated with to do lists, schedules, TV programs and activities. And really, they don't know any better although I storian with them about my life in the states and how busy I always was. It's been two opposite ends of the spectrum...my two lives. Reflecting on both, I appreciate both. If I could just have family and friends here, it would definitely make life easier. Not to mention a shower, flushing toilet and electricity.

So, I realize I will miss this one day...my simple Peace Corps life in the village. It was great to see my friends, their kids and their busy lives which makes me appreciate what I have now more than ever. While it seems selfish to be miserable some days, I can't help but miss my busy life in the states. The grass is always greener, I suppose.

I am off to Paama today...bittersweet. Thanks again, Mom and Dad for your support and to my friends whose well wishes and love help get me through. I think of y'all everyday.

Home for the holidays...one I'll never forget. Much like my Peace Corps experience, the highs have been high and the lows sometimes lower. It's been a whirlwind and I've been overwhelmed physically (it's SOOOO COLD...I've been living near the equator, remember), emotionally (many people to visit but not enough time) and culturally (so many choices, things and characters). Regardless, I feel so fortunate and grateful for the support and love that I have felt from my beloved family and friends.

One thing I never expected to experience was a breakdown here...at home! Peace Corps advised us that it would be tough to acclimate back into society and it's not the abundance of cars, stores, TV programs and material things that set me back but re-connecting with my family and friends. Not only was my time limited which caused guilt for not spending enough time with each person but not having that consistent contact the past 15 months and then trying to resume where you left off was difficult. Babies are born, kids grow up and lives change...

There is no less love or support but missing out on 15 months of my loved ones' lives is quite a bit. I yearn to catch up and make up for that time but it's nearly impossible. Pictures and stories help but I've learned to accept this and enjoy the present. I realize that there is the future with those I love and that Peace Corps is my journey. It's okay to be selfish (yes, I feel selfish) and to embrace this time and place where I am disconnected. It is only 27 months of a lifetime that I will have this opportunity.

First and foremost, I've felt so guilty for not spending more time with my parents. (My mom had to ask me when I could block out time for her!) And above and beyond, my mom and dad have given me the most amazing support through this experience, not to mention my entire life. Not only did they allow their only daughter, their only child, to live on the other side of the world for two years but they've always provided me with the encouragement and ability to discover the world and to grow. Thank you Mom and Dad for a beautiful life.

With only a couple more days left...I wish I had more time with my parents and family. I regret not having more time to spend with friends. I'm sorry if I did not get a chance to see you but know that you all are in my thoughts often (I have lots of time to think). Y'all help get me through and I am forever grateful for your love and support. All my love, amy

As much as I've missed my friends, it's been difficult missing out on my friends' kids growing up. Hagan's sweet girls, Ivy and Kinley not only remember me well but also knew and knew how to pronounce VANUATU! I got to spend some quality time with them although never enough.

Hagan and I have been friends since kindergarten and went to Carolina together. She's helped me through many obstacles throughout my life and recently when I had my first Peace Corps breakdown. She's an amazing mother who now works full time...I'm always so impressed with how she does it so gracefully. Miss my redheads already.

Okay, so not all of my NC triangle friends are Tarheel fans but it was during my college years and shortly after that I these friendships began...

And not pictured are Timeri and Jon who have been an amazing support during my time in Peace Corps with packages and letters. Much love to you both.

Josh, Amber, Mark, Morgan, Kristen and Jamie Thrilled to find out that Morgan and Mark are expecting!

Couldn't go to the Raleigh area and not go to my favorite hang out...Snookers. I spent many, many, many evenings here. I miss those league days.

It was a wintery visit to Chicago and Milwaukee. I've missed Chi-town and my fabulous friends there. As always...a great time, lots of laughs, ample photos and good, clean debauchery. :)

My first night in Chi-town

Dinner in Milwaukee (Alex & Adam joined us...our last meeting was in Vanuatu & New Zealand)

My Chi-town ladies

Asian sensations ;)

No caption needed

My parent's restaurant, Peking Pagoda. I spent many years hanging out here.

MOM

DAD

Ruthie's daughter Alayna and me

Gorgeous new mom, Lauran and baby StellaHagan, Stella, Lauran and me at King's Inn...the favorite hangout of our high school days

Melissa and son Issac...she and I met in preschool!

Dear old friends...April, Erin (due end of Jan!), Hagan and Lauran at Cracker Barrell...my request!April, Caroline, Ivy, Cora, Hagan, Kinley and me. GO GIRL POWER!

At least 10 trips to good ole Walmart!

I left for Peace Corps staging only a few days before April and Stephen's twins, Cora and Caroline were born and 15 months later, I finally get to spend time with them. The girls were a little sick but happy to play with their Christmas gifts and to get to know Auntie Amy. I hope they remember me in a year! Here are a few Christmas pics and some from our time together.

Girls with beautiful Mommy

Me with sweet, adorable Cora...she's so laid back...not much phases her, much like Daddy.

Me with cute, outgoing Caroline...Miss Speedy and loves to be the center of attention

April and I with the girls...Cora's wondering why I'm so tan...it's summer over there!

This cold is brutal! Chicago is gonna be painful.

Daddy with Caroline

Santa can be scary.

April and Dee are amazing parents...twins are hard work! To see them feeding, playing, changing, holding, wiping, hugging, loving...x2. Wow. I am in awe of them. I look so forward to spoiling Cora and Caroline and being a part of their lives. Great times to come times two!

A letter that my Mom gave out to those who bought a bag...an update on what I've been doing...

Hello from Vanuatu!

More (pronounced Mor-ay, hello in the language of Paama Island) from Vanuatu in the South Pacific! I am happy to report that I am doing well and have completed 15 months of a total 27 months of Peace Corps service. My end of service is December 2010...so one more year!

A little about what I am doing here…my primary job is to advise and work with the RTC or Rural Training Center which is a vocational school that teaches skills such as agriculture, business, home care (sewing, cooking) and carpentry to the community and to students after they’ve completed secondary school. I hope to bring computer and mechanics courses to the RTC by the end of my service. Secondary projects can range from teaching at the primary school (I teach English and Math to years 2 and 4) to conducting workshops about the environment, health and grant writing.

One particular secondary project I've been passionate about is A Basket for Change…another volunteer, Brianna Russell living in a nearby village and I conduct workshops with the women of Paama to teach them how to sew baskets (bags) out of calico known for their colorful island style prints. Along with helping them to determine costs, money management and quality, the women of Paama are given an opportunity to earn money for their children’s school fees as well as for foods that must be purchased. (They are subsistence farmers, growing most of their food.) Their average income each week is only about $1-$2 from selling produce at the local market. The mamas have been appreciative and proud to be able to earn money for their families.

Well, it’s been a difficult, humbling, amazing and enlightening journey thus far. The primitive and simple life here has its upsides and downsides and as much as I yearn for electricity, a running shower/toilet, ice cream and familiar faces…I realize I’ll miss island time and this slow pace of life one day when I am inundated with meetings and deadlines.

A few things I’ve reflected upon during my Peace Corps service…

☼ learn to embrace the difficult times…they can only make you stronger and can open doors to other opportunities

☼ slow down, breathe and take time to give thanks and remember to enjoy the view

☼ waste not, want not…we all should do our part to conserve, reuse and recycle

I’ve also realized more than ever that I am blessed to have amazing family and friends. Without the support, love and encouragement, I would have called it quits months ago. Thank you.

Peace and love,

amy

Further storian (chatting) with one of the teachers here on Paama and more tales about black magic come to light...The Ni-Vanuatu who practice black magic are chosen by a “secret society” which involves training and initiation in order to become granted admittance. Of the rituals, a new recruit must kill a close friend as well as eat their own excrement! Ewh!

As a member of this black magic fraternity, one has the power to kill someone by just thinking so, however in order to kill someone, you must also kill a relative or close friend...an eye for an eye, essentially.

There has been "scientific proof" claims my teacher friend...once an autopsy was performed on an individual thought to have been killed by black magic, the person’s insides were removed and in its place sand and leaves. True story.

I've posted pics and have written a little about my family here in Paama but now that it's been a year (Dec...WOW!) and I've settled into my life there, here's a little more about my family in Paama.

As I've mentioned, Papa Isaiah is a distinguished looking fella with white hair and beard, a big smile and enjoys storian (chatting)...most of which is about himself but I am happy to hear his stories. He had been a star soccer player and can take on 4 men in a bar brawl...probably more. He can cure you of ailments with a special brew of leaves and herbs. He's an enthusiastic supporter of the Vanuaku political party, loves kava and is a fisherman...as many of the men here are but he has a special gift many tell me and he's proven it...He sells one like this for only 600 vatu, equivalent to $6.00! How much do we pay...over $20 some places. He loves his kava, as I do but since Mama Eva is SDA (Seventh Day Adventist), I refrain from drinking too much out of respect for her. But when I do join him for a shell of kava, it's always a hoot when we stumble home together and are fed by Mama Eva.

Mama Eva...she is my saving grace here and a major reason why I've been able to survive and push through the difficult days. Generous, caring, a great cook and makes the perfect fire, she never asks for a thing...in contrast to my Mama from training and other Ni-Vanuatu who think "white man" are rich. (more on that later) She keeps the family running...goes to the garden, cooks, washes, takes care of the children (she has 3 small ones and 3 older who are away at school). The women here are so incredibly strong and amazing. (more on that later too)

Brother Thomas, 12 years old is quiet and easy going. Brother John, age 10, sweet, excels at soccer, sat with me when I first arrived while I unpacked and often visits me at my hut and removes dead rats from under my bed. Little sister Lisa is 4 is a sweetheart who is definitely the baby of the family.My BFF, Elsie...who is also my RTC Homecare teacher, and I spend quite a bit of time together. A mother of four, born in Pentecost (another island several plane ride hours away) came to Paama six years ago after marrying a man from Paama. Like most women here, once married, must leave their family to join the husband's family. Similar to the Chinese culture, families are extended...the grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc all reside together so Elsie not only takes care of her own household but also her in-laws. She too will make leaving Paama difficult.

A year ago, I was at my lowest...crying, feeling sorry for myself, wondering if I could really stay for two years and now a year later, I start to think about how sad it will be to leave these people...my Paama family.

One full moon, 38 artists, 14 performers and 200+ art pieces...Art Odyssey 2009 in Port Vila (the capital of Vanuatu) was a magical evening.Morgan (Vanuatu native) and Jani (Peace Corps Volunteer) put in a tremendous amount of energy and time organizing and planning the event...inviting local artists (which includes jewelry and other mixed media) to participate. Our youngest artist being 5 year old Freiya.

I arrived the week of the event to help out and it was hectic but of course I relished in all the planning...I was in heaven. I am missing so many pictures but we had some amazing performers from singing, monologues, poetry reading, karate, juggling and drum circle...it was otherworldly. Ben's freestyle rap with drum circle accompaniment was unbelievable.

Done. And Art Odyssey 2010 to be announced.

It all began abruptly with an excruciating headache...one I've never experienced this intensely before. I waved it off as just a little bug. Then a fever proceeded. I spent a day resting and taking Tylenol. My body ached and a soreness was a constant in my spine/neck. I didn't know officially until I took a second malaria test that the faint though present pink bands on the test did indeed indicate that I had a mixed strand of malaria. Yikes. Malaria? I was pretty shocked...first that I didn't feel more horrible...body and headaches, fever and chills came and went but never debilitated me. How could I have malaria when I am so good about taking the weekly medication? Oh wait...Port Vila...I did forget ONCE and lesson learned...NEVER skip medication.

So, Amy had malaria...just an experience of my Peace Corps service. Good thing Paama is a wonderful place to spel (rest) and recover.

Living it up in Port Vila, the capital city of Vanuatu...enjoying the luxuries of tourists.

Sailing the ocean blue...the beautiful boat, Alvei An international crew from Canada, Germany, Italy & US delivers medical supplies to outer islands and lives on board. The crew invited volunteers (Peace Corps, Aus, NZ) and locals to join them for a day on board Alvei...diving off the sails, storian, eating, drinking and being merry...Ahoy matey! Here is Mariko, Daisy and me. Mariko was a PCV several years ago and came back to work for the summer. She left that evening to go back to the States :( Daisy and Steve (not pictured) have an NGO...specializing in disaster management, specifically volcanoes. They're volcanologists...super cool, right? They're heading to do some work in Fiji in a couple months. I've enjoyed hanging out with them in Vila.

Jani and Lizzie, volunteers based on Efate (Port Vila's island), have given the kids in Pango village a way to earn money for school fees by teaching them fire dancing. Here are some pics from a show they performed at a resort this weekend that I assisted them with lighting and putting out the fires. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Mom arrived on a sunny afternoon to Port Vila, the capital and was harrassed at airport customs...the reason? Racial profiling, darn it. She had brought over a couple suitcases full of t-shirts and goodies for my village as well as food for me and customs thought we would be selling them here. See, many of the shops here are owned by Chinese families so they assumed we were one of them and wanted to charge a 20,000 vatu (approx $200) import tax. Of course, I let him have it...explaining to him that I was a Peace Corps volunteer, living on the outer islands, giving my life to Vanuatu for 2 years, etc. He sent me back to talk to a "bigman" and I proceeded to spill the same sob story to him. After my persuasive speech, he gave in and let us go without paying. My mom's first taste of Vanuatu was certainly not a pleasant one but we got over it.

A few days in Port Vila indulging...then a 40 min plane ride to Paama. Shocked that we landed on a grass runway, we then trekked past a couple grazing cows and gawking families to the stone beach to await boat transport.

The boat dropped us off at Liro, the commercial center of Paama and we visited the Mama's market to purchase some produce. My mom was a great sport and shook hands with...everyone. We then headed to my house...here she is on the path up to it.

My Mamas

Mom at my front door donned in island dress!

Mom and I attended SDA church on Saturday

Mom was eager to take a canoe ride with my papa and we even took the canoe to get to the airport...an hour paddle!

In front of the RTC, where I work

It was incredible to have my mom here to see where I am living and working. She comments about how this is the way people lived 100 years ago in China...well, her daughter is living that life now! Both my mom and dad will be paying me a visit here next year. Looking forward to that! I miss you DAD!In other news...I'M COMING HOME TO VISIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!! :)

RTC classAlex teaching

RTC teachers and student building a bread oven That's my house on the left side on the hill

Alex, Brianna, Rob and I singing at church

The Tahi area futbol (soccer) team

View of Lepevi volcano from Paama. Brianna and I at the mama's market for an RTC fundraiser

Paama sunset

One of my favorite kids, Jamie

Kindie Day in June 26 and Children’s Day July 24

Special national holidays are set aside each year for kindergarten aged children in Vanuatu…the kids march and there are speeches, food and games. Children’s Day, likewise started with a march as the kids chant…SEL-USA (Selusa is the primary school name and means “to work together”) of course I loved the USA part. The kids were greeted with flowers and then swam in powder (see previous blog entry about what that means :-) We had a lunch of rice with foul (chicken), lap lap, fruit and then played games…balloon toss with plastic bags, tug-of-war, rice bag race…to name a few.

Brianna (PCV in nearby village and A Basket for Change partner), Alex, Rob (GAP volunteers from England) and myself journeyed to Futakai on the south of Paama to visit the tourist bungalows. We journeyed by foot, along the coast, jumping large boulders and stones that circumvent Paama…going barefoot like the Ni-Vanuatu do. The views and serenity of the hike was beautiful. We passed other villages on the way, greeting people who were all impressed that “white man” could make the trek.

"White man's" trek south

Samon Bay bungalows in Futakai was well maintained with a “restaurant” and two guesthouses, a nice beach, snorkeling and quiet surroundings. Sam, the owner and operator served tea and we storied about the potential to promote tourism in Paama. (I believe we were the first and only tourists) After a couple shells of kava, we had a candlelit dinner of rice, foul (chicken), island cabbage and pomplemousse (comparable to grapefruit) among the coconut trees, fresh breeze, chirping insects and ocean waves lightly crashing nearby. Sleeping well after kava and an organic meal, we awoke to a cool morning…yoga and a stroll on the beach. Then snorkeling, lunch and a two hour trek back to Tahi (my village) and Liro (Bre, Alex and Rob’s village).

In addition to what felt like a short vacation from village life, the following weekend we journeyed by boat to Lepevi volcano. Unfortunately, the rough waters made the ride unsettling for Bre and my stomachs but, the views from Lepevi were breathtaking. Alex and Rob along with some Ni-Vanuatu spent the night camping and feasting on fresh catch…plentiful fish and…a SHARK!

Here’s Alex gutting it…

Lepevi volcano climb

View from Lepevi...Paama in the distance

More fish!

The following weekend, Brianna, Alex and I took a boat out to Malau reef (just south of my village) to snorkel. It was a perfect sunny and breezy day as we anchored and swam with the colorful fish and sea life. On our way back, we were greeted by dolphins swimming alongside the boat, racing us. Then a doudong (sea cow) trudged nearby with small flying fish skimming the water. A first experience for me…

These excursions at Samon bungalows, Lepevi and Malau gave us a preview of what tourists might experience in Paama. Currently a committee is working on developing tourism in Paama and Brianna, as part of her job is working with them to analyze and advise. While Pentecost has land diving, Tanna with Yasur volcano and Port Vila’s resorts…these tourist hotspots are the places to visit when coming to Vanuatu for the first time. As for Paama…I believe its attraction is the quiet, reclusive, peaceful atmosphere where visitors can climb and camp at Lepevi volcano island, go fishing, dolphin watching, see custom dances and experience village life. Paama…Your private island getaway.

More drama in Paama…so, my Mama Eva belongs to the SDA church and so do many of the mamas I am close to…they attend Sabbath on Saturday, sing English songs, do not drink kava, eat pig or crab…guess I'm out of the club. However, I enjoy the Saturdays with them and they are always gracious and welcoming. After service, we sit together and eat lunch under a magnificent mango tree with the Paama hills hugging us…it’s quite beautiful and peaceful. We eat, storian and then close Sabbath with the AY (Adventist Youth) program…memory verses, singing and Nature talks. There is a visiting minister who comes to serve for 2 years and then moves to another island.

SDA church and baptismsNow, Papa Isaiah belongs to the Presbyterian church and there are Presbyterian churches in each village which disperses the congregation number (one SDA church for 5 villages), local elders lead the Presbyterian sermons and attendance tends to be low in Tahi …so needless to say, the strength of the Presbyterian church is lacking and while my Papa does not attend church avidly, he has recently demanded that my Mama no longer attend the SDA church. She has yet to go to the Presbyterian church and instead, observes Sabbath on Saturday at home. There are also rumors or what is known here as “coconut wireless” that people from both churches talk negatively about each other…which I do not doubt given the situation.

Prebyterian church

Obviously, this has caused some tension…although I’ve noticed that the Ni-Vanuatu culture is a quite passive-aggressive one so it has not caused major issues that are apparent to me. However, because of this division, I worry about showing any favortism...so it's a good thing each group attends church on different days because if you are ever wondering what Amy might be doing on Saturday or Sunday, it’s likely that you can assume and picture me donned in island dress singing “Jesus lives in you, Jesus lives in me.”

During my time here in Vanuatu, I’ve storied with the Ni-Vanuatu about custom medicine…using leaves and herbal remedies to cure ailments (my host papa is often called upon for this), black magic…curses can be put on people using spells cast on that victim’s hair (for example) and recently I’ve been hearing about Lisepsep…Paama’s phantom troll people.

The story goes that there is a colony of people who live in the bush of Paama. They’re described as small, troll-like people with long hair, are naked except for leaves covering their tabu areas. There are families of Lisepsep people…papas, mamas, kids, babies who live in caves or underground (I picture a naked Barney Rubble with long hair holding a spear and mama Rubble with baby strapped to her back.) My papa claims, I mean , says that he often sees their footprints around the house and are known to sneak in the kitchen to take food out of the pots while leaving a trail of crumbs (not that the kids here don’t mostly go barefoot and drop their food all about).

You can laugh or think this outrageous but recall we have tales of bigfoot, UFOs, the lochness monster…so believe it or not…

Think I’ll journey on a Lisepsep hunt into the bush one of these days…

Flew to Wellington where I stayed the evening at a backpackers (hostel)...my backpack didn't make it and I just wandered the city and hiked the botanical gardens solo and got my pack just before my flight to Christchurch.

The South Island of New Zealand was breathtaking...roadtripping with my travel buddy, Alex from WI. Him and his twin, Adam bought a car for $900 (a Lancer, conveniently named Lance) to drive around and find work. They picked fruit in the North Island for a few weeks and met people along the way (Faustine and Tebo from France pictured). Adam continued to find work and hitchhike (lots of people do it here, guys and gals and we even picked up a fella from Belgium for a short ride) while Alex and I ventured south.

We drove (me too...on the left side AND stick shift!) from Christchurch west and then south, cruising by Franz Joseph and Fox Glaciers...amazing. Camping in the car and stopping off for photo ops and lookouts. Much of the scenery...the rolling hills and tree lines could be comparable to Montana/Yellowstone and the northwest US then add the snow capped alps in the distance. The trees and mountains were so beautiful and I got to have my fall and winter that I missed out on in the states.

One evening we stopped off to check out the ocean and the waves were furious...I've never seen them this rough, loud and powerful...you could just feel the energy. Alex wanted to get closer and...you can probably guess, we were drenched by an unsuspected wave. Exhilarating but frigid.

The wildlife there consisted of mostly sheep...lots of them. Four sheep to one Kiwi (New Zealander). Milk cows, horses, deer/elk mix were also seen grazing. There is a possum problem so roadkill was abundant and all survived that crossed our path.

We clocked alot of miles (km here)...driving and stopping throughout the day then sleeping in the car a couple days and waking up to a beautiful backdrop of lakes and mountains. Campfire in Te Anau, SNOW, rain and fog in Milford Sound on the west coast. Headed to Dunedin on the east coast then to the southern tip Invercargill and north to our final destination Queenstown.

Queenstown is known as an adventure sports town. Quaint but busy with shops, restaurants, backpackers and trendy locals. We decided to bungy jump off the bridge which is where bungy originated in 1987. The fall was about 150 feet. As I begin to get harnessed in...music is playing and "No Diggity" comes on! (This was a freshman year UNC theme song) It was a message from home and gave me the guts to jump. It was intense, exhilarating but short...I wanted to do it again.

We later took a gondola up to a hill lookout where we rode the luge...it was like go-cart racing but with no motor...nonetheless you FLEW. I was schooling Alex at the beginning but he came through and passed me near the end. I thought I had him! Funny thing, even though bungying was intense...luging came pretty close.

What a phenomenal two weeks in NZ...hanging with my mom (thank you mom and dad for my amazing life) then roadtripping with Alex (thanks for the laughs, tangents and Lance). Now a few days in Port Vila to indulge and back to site in a couple days. It will be tough to unwind and get back into the swing of "island time" but Paama is the place to do it...I do miss my host family and village and look forward to seeing them again.

Thank y'all for all the encouragement and support...y'all give me the strength to embrace the difficult times here as well as to enjoy the solitude and slow pace of life that I will surely miss one day.

Auckland, New Zealand is a beautiful city...Queens Street reminds me of Michigan Ave and the outskirts much like Portland, OR. And I feel like I'm in Cali with all the asians here...mainly Chinese. However, my mom and I can't talk secretly. :)

We've been walking around enjoying the shops, markets, boutiques and cafes. My mom is not liking it as much...she is more into historical architecture and things like that...New Zealand is more known for the scenery and adventure sports (which I am heading to next week). It's just great to hang out with mom...9 months is the longest I've gone not seeing her and Dad.

And, you've probably been hearing on the news about the swine flu...well, guess what? My mom was on the flight with those college kids! Luckily she is feeling fine.

It's fall here and I am appreciating the cool weather since I skipped out on winter in Vanuatu. My mom leaves on Saturday and I venture to Wellington for the night and then to Christchurch. Then a road trip toward Queenstown to bungy jump. (gonna save the skydiving to do with Amber and Kristen to celebrate our belated 30th birthdays)

Yesterday Mom and I went on a day trip to Rotorua where we visited a Maori (native New Zealanders) thermal village and saw a custom dance. The drive was beautiful.

Mom leaves today :( And I am heading to the south island...flying to Wellington today, Christchurch tomorrow and then road trippin to Queenstown. Thanks for reading. Miss y'all!

A part of the western lifestyle that I seldom gave a thought about was waste disposal. We simply throw the multitude of bags from shopping, plastic and paper packaging, napkins, bottles, cartons, leftover food and just toss into the garbage. Easy. Out of our hands...disappearing into the abyss of trash land...wherever that might be. Likely a landfill. Okay, so some of us recycle, reuse, etc but it was not until I came to Vanuatu that I worry and think so much about the plastic bags and packaging I use.

I have one trashbag for paper products and one for plastics. All paper trash is burned. Plastic is buried (better than burning b/c breathing the fumes are way worse than it eventually* biodegrading) *many, many years, but it's also been debated with other volunteers that Vanuatu being such a small place that the burning would not affect us as it would if people in NY or even Port Vila, the capital burned their plastics...both methods are un

So, I have yet to bury my 3 bags of plastic trash I've cumulated in the past 6 months...and I've cut down on the amount of foods I eat that use packaging but man, I need some cookies or crackers sometimes! As for cans or bottles, there are no recycling facilities here but there has been a push to build cement wells to place all cans and batteries in. While tin tuna and fish are frequently eaten, the amount it still no where close to the amount of waste that the "western" world uses. Nonetheless, it's difficult to not recycle. Brianna (volunteer nearby) and I plan to work on getting a recycling program in Paama....we'll see.

Just think...you really only need one paper towel to dry your hands not 5 (we carry around a hand/dish towel or bandana here). Also, save a plastic tree with resusable shopping bags. None of this is new info but every bit helps, right?

As I’ve mentioned, my primary job here is to assist the Rural Training Center which teaches skills such as business, carpentry, home care (sewing, cooking, health) and agriculture. When I arrived in December, I learned that the school had not been in session for a year and a half because of mismanagement by the current manager. A strained relationship with the former manager was also a cause for its demise. So, my first goal was to get the school in session this quarter, however with “island time”, it’s often difficult to get things moving.

A general meeting took place which brought together the community to discuss the RTC and my hope to gain consensus on whether to keep the current manager or to promote the assistant manager, Sandy. There were harsh words spoken between the current manager and some elders but in the end, a new committee (with two women reps) and promotion of the assistant manager, Sandy was decided. The new committee and manager then began their work to plan fundraisers, awareness visits around the island, budgeting and clean up/maintenance. Classes began mid-March with now 11 students attending.

I was thrilled with the progress but too soon had I spoken that after the former manager was invited to a thank you dinner in order to make amends, he refused to come. The next day he hands me a letter addressed to myself and the committee. He demanded to be paid “gratuities” and threatened to take away the land that the RTC and my house are located. However, his demands were unjustifiable because he had already “paid” himself well from the first years the school was in session and the ground did not belong to his family. He was simply angry that he no longer held his position. I was stressed after reading this letter and shared it with my host papa (he’s on the committee). He was irate and told me that this went beyond the RTC and he would handle it along with other elders in the community. I worried what others in the community felt but I was reassured by everyone that I had done my job and not to be troubled by the situation. At this point, I stepped back and luckily was heading to Port Vila for Early Service Conference when they planned a general meeting to discuss the issue with him.

I returned from Port Vila, feeling that I did owe the former manager an apology that things went as they did since he did work with the Peace Corps to prepare for my service. Today, all is running smoothly and I have been teaching some English at the RTC. We’ve had one fundraiser, raising about 7,300 vatu (~$73) and the second scheduled in May. Some grants are in the pipeline (haven’t used that word in a while!) to bring electricity to the school to run a computer for a course as well as for carpentry tools.

Despite the issues, the committee and community have been grateful and receptive to my ideas and planning. They call me their “advisor” and their support and participation has been remarkable.

Besides the RTC, I have been teaching English and Math at the primary school where there are 30 students and ONE teacher, Miss Margaret. Levels 2 (levels 1 and 2 combined), 4 (3 and 4 combined) and 6 (5 and 6 combined) are taught. Margaret must juggle two rooms of students by teaching a lesson and then assigning work and then doing this again for the next two levels. How she maintains her sanity, I do not know but she is a patient soul.

My goal is to get the school new desks and chairs as well as a small playground.

Dec 16…breakdown #2

Tough day…feeling sad and homesick. I can’t understand what others are saying, it’s hot, I’m ferociously itching mosquito bites and I find cow skin on the path from my house with flies swarming. Break down #2…I hit a point and just broke down when I got to my host families house. My host papa felt bad I was crying…he was sweet about it. I walked with my host mama and sister up to a hill so I could use his cell phone. Eventually I reached my mom and Carly. My mom was comforting and Carly told me there’s nothing great going on at home with the economy in the tanker…no reason to come back now. I felt better hearing familiar voices and knowing that I can get through this.

Dec 18…brideprice

Today was a busy day…walked a lot back and forth from Tahi to Tevali, a village just inland from Tahi. We delivered yam, laplap leaves, mats...

Women dressed the bride in island dresses and doused her with baby powder and perfume spray (good luck). Then she wailed because her mother had passed and she was mourning her then she passed out. No joke. It was pretty intense. She came to and then her groom later is wasted drunk. More cows were killed, food is passed out and the bride price is paid with mats, calico, yams, pig, chicken, beef, coconuts and money. Again, all the “sisters” of the groom are given food and I am even included…and instead of beef they give me a chicken! I am now a proud owner of a chicken. Not sure how I’ll be able to eat it though. Eggs…hopefully she will lay eggs for me.

Tomorrow is the wedding for Ana and Willie who I have spent some time with and there is an actual ceremony at the church then food and dancing. Most if not all of these bride prices and weddings are done well after the couple had been together and even have kids. Ana and Willie just had their 3rd son. This has more to do with how expensive these events are so cart before the horse.

December 13…mornings in Paama

I love mornings in Tahi. After being awaken by the crowing roosters and rustling of chickens. I snooze for a little while…it’s 5am and I usually get up by 630. Peeling away my mosquito net, before I set foot on the ground, I first examine if there is any mouse damage or lurking eight legged friends around. I have pj pants and Christmas socks on (thanks Heather Triplett McNamara) to avoid any mosquitoes though it’s probably more paranoia than anything. Better safe than itching. I take my kettle outside to my spiquet to fill it with water then back inside to light my stove…with a match. My host mama and most other mamas in the village use fires but I am just not patient enough so I turn the gas on and light a match. As the kettle whistles I prepare my French press coffee mug (thanks cousins Robert and Monica) with some powdered milk. Coupled with these delightful breakfast cookies called Scotch fingers, I sit at my window with a view of a small corner of the Pacific Ocean and overlook the path where men with paddles are heading to their canoes to go fish for the day or mamas and kids (pikininis) strolling to the beach to collect sand or to lay bandanas leaves to dry which are used to weave mats. It’s peaceful and not yet excruciatingly hot yet. Not often do I feel the same about mornings but here, I am soaking them in.

December 14…down time

I have now sewed up a dress, bag, pillowcase and made a small recipe book for my Tawi Ana whose wedding is next week. The sewing is relaxing and therapeutic. Odd not to have a set schedule but it is summer vacation here. I am trying to appreciate the down time now but what I would do to just make some calls. I should be getting a cell phone soon, however, the reception is terrible here so not sure what good it will really do except frustrate me. The land line is down after the bombing thunderstorm. While I enjoy the time with my host family and people in the village, they are so welcoming and inclusive of me but we are still different people and they mainly speak Paamese which I am slowly learning.

The simplicity of life is endearing…Kids don’t have many toys because of the cost and toys do not last here since they have no playrooms to store them. Toys are whatever they can find…a plastic bag that is blown up and popped, slingshots made from wood and elastic or even bush knives…it’s really a child’s dream…nature is their playground. They play in the dirt and mud, are around fires that cook the family’s food, run around without fear of being kidnapped and toddlers can be seen in their birthday suits running about. Kids climb trees to get coconuts, papaya (popo) and the other plentiful fruits that grow on Paama. It’s crazy to see kids…little kids playing, chopping and prodding things with knives. Mamas and papas just get annoyed that the kids might be destroying the knife. Really!

There’s not a lot of outside influence here. The only TV they may watch are DVDs so when I ask some people if they know who Britney Spears or what McDonalds is, they say no. I am thrilled. Some think the US is a big, scary place with guns and tall buildings…which I can’t say is not true.

There was another mared (wedding) event in which all the “sisters” (also includes cousin sisters) of the groom are given food. Two cows were killed and butchered, yams are dug up and rice is purchased. Large laplap leaves are layed out and cuts of beef, yam and rice are divyed out for every “sister” to take home. I bounced around helping to cut meat, hula hoop with the kids and storian with the men butchering the cows. While I stood there with Ana’s baby Matthew in my arms and watching everyone, I couldn’t help but feel alone though. I was missing home.

Trying to catch up on my blog entries...sorry if any are repeats.

Day 1 of 730

The day is finally here and my official service begins. Got a little sleep and said good byes in the AM. Got on another 8 seater plane and while a bit scary, the views are panoramic over the Pacific islands…flying above paradise. We are so lucky to have this post.

My counterpart, who is also my host grandpa, and grandma came to pick me up at the airport and we got on a small boat for a short 20 minute ride to Tahi. The water is clear and there are black sand beaches dotted with patches of coconut trees, deep green leafy bushes with cascading vines…every shade of green imaginable. Paama is quite hilly and my house sits on the side of a cliff basically. In the distance I can see a corner of the Pacific Ocean and at night I can hear the small waves crashing on the black sand beach.

My place is coming together nicely…except for the giant spiders, nothing else has been bothering me. Mosquitoes always but the rats may not know that there is a new resident in my house yet. The last volunteer here left a year and a half ago. My house is half modern (although modern here only means cement) and half custom…bamboo slat walls and coconut (or banana) leaf roof…sounds unstable but it’s pretty amazing how sturdy it is.

I had dinner with my host mama (papa was in Liro a nearby village) who has 3 daughters, age 3 (Lisa, who is such a sweetie with gorgeous, big eyes and dimpled smile), two are here for the holidays/summer vacation, ages 20 and 17 (LeiSal who is adopted and Mar, both are great to chat with) and 2 sons, ages 12 and 10 (Thomas and John). My tawi (Leiwia) has 2 sons (age 3 and 11).

Day 2 Nesting with a trip to Liro

It was another hot day but with intermittent rain. John (host brother, age 10) spent the day with me as I unpacked and set things up and we went with my host papa to Liro to pick up a tank of gas for my stove. We took a canoe which is definitely going to be one of my favorite activities. It’s a great work out and the water is so clear, you can so easily see the reef and colorful coral. Most of the shore are cliffs with rainforest like foliage and a scattering of large, black boulders where tiny crabs play. It is picturesque and quiet since there are few motor boats and no cars.

December 8 Day 3 in Paama

It was pleasant day organizing and helping out with mared (wedding) preparations…learned how to weave a mat…sort of. Had kava with my papa and got to storian with some of the elders of the village about politics, the US and life in general. It’s raining now which is great to sleep to except there is a little leak in my custom roof.

The worst storm I have ever heard…the rain and especially the lightening and thunder was right on top of Paama. I have never heard thunder this loud before…huge booms like fireworks going off on the ground just outside my house or what I would imagine bombs to sound like. I have to say I was a bit freaked out and had to cover my ears. Needless to say I did not sleep well.