Patricia brought it to my attention that I’ve updated pictures on Facebook, but I haven’t updated my blog. Oops. I still have no idea who reads this beside my family and really close friends. So for anyone who I haven’t talked to in person lately… How about an update?

I’m going to make this like the spark notes version; super short and sweet.

I came home for vacation for almost all of July, and per the doctor’s suggestion, I didn’t think about Kyrgyzstan. I had a great time at home relaxing and visiting with my nephew and the rest of my family.

Highlights from the “visit” stage:

-meeting my new beagle puppy: (at PetSmart buying him a new toy Dad: we need to get copper a new indestructible toy. Me: What happened to the last indestructible toy? Dad: He destroyed it.)

-traveling to VA to visit friends

-broccoli, mama’s enchiladas, and other delicious food things

Moving on…

The night before I was supposed to go back, as I was packing (I know, right! ME, packing the night before as opposed to weeks in advance? Weird) I had a major breakdown- anxiety attack, etc. After a lot and I mean A LOT of soul searching, praying, crying, thinking, and discussing; I decided not to go back to Kyrgyzstan for the time being. I called PC staff and was able to take an Interruption of Service, which means I have the option of going back later (within a year).

I haven’t decided 100% about going back, Right now; it is looking like I won’t be going back. I am currently studying for the LSAT and working on Law School application, and hopefully, I’ll get into law school next fall.

I really do understand why they call Peace Corps, “The Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love.” I survived some of the most difficult months of my life, yet; (maybe perversely) I wouldn’t trade or change them for anything.

I don’t know if I’ll keep updating this blog, or not, Maybe I will, maybe I’ll start a new one for the next part of my life adventure (even though I have no idea where that will take me) Who knows?

Jess

You might have been remarking that things have been quiet on the

blogging front for a while now, and you'd be right. I just haven't

really been up to it recently. Unless you've been hiding in a cave, or

haven't seen any news program in the past few weeks, you'll know that

the situation in Kyrgyzstan has been pretty tense. I'm not really

allowed to talk about it and I don't really know any more than you

would if you read the news. Basically the only additional thing I can

add to what you've read or heard is that I'm safe. Most of the

violence was restricted to the south, and the north remains peaceful.

The past few weeks have been really, really tough for all the

volunteers- almost as bad, if not worse than the two months of my

personal "dark ages." I'm handling everything better this go around,

but it is more difficult because, due to the recent violence, most of

the volunteers in the south are leaving the country and a few

volunteers from other oblasts, too. Among the volunteers that are

leaving are almost ALL of my best friends over here. Plus, K16s, who

were supposed to leave in August, are leaving now, too. I've been

blessed for so long with so many wonderful friends, and all of you

back home are so important to me, but serving in the Peace Corps with

my friends over here has been such a wonderful experience and has

allowed us to become as close within a year as I am with some of you

back home who I've known for years. There are just things that they

will understand that I couldn't ask you all to. So, saying goodbye to

them has forced me to star in an encore performance of my role as

human watering hose. Haha. I also realized, that I've never been left

before. I've moved so often, and took off for this great PC Adventure,

and left my friends and family behind. I have never known what it

feels like to be the one that gets left behind. And truthfully, it

sucks. After many discussions and intense internal battles, I've

decided not to take the PC's offer of Interruption of Service. They

offered it to all the volunteers here. Basically it is a chance to go

home early due to "circumstances beyond your control." You get to

leave without having to Early Terminate, and still get the benefits of

being a RPCV. (Returned PC Volunteer) If things change, and get more

violent, or unsafe, then of course, I'll come home. So, don't worry.

But right now, I feel safe and with the exception of saying goodbye to

people a year earlier than I had planned, I am okay. I'm not being

flippant, or not caring about my safety, I just feel like this is

still where I am meant to be. I made it this far, and as Daddy

reminded me a few months ago, God doesn't give you more than you can

handle. At the time, I thought God was overestimating my abilities,

but… I don't know, maybe it is not rational, and at times I feel that

it is against my better judgment, but I am staying. I can't explain

why really, but trust me, I'll be okay.So, right now I'm packing to come home FOR A VISIT. I think a month at

home will give me an opportunity to clear my head and to prepare for

my last year in country. Coming over here for the first time was hard

because I: 1) didn't know anyone 2)didn't know the language 3)didn't

know the culture 4)didn't know my job 5)had never been away from home

for so long. After almost month of vacation I can come back with a lot

less trepidation than the first time. I am just going to have to make

a concentrated effort on making friends with the new group of

volunteers and strengthening friendship with people in my group that I

don't know as well. The next year, without my in-country support

network that got me through the first year, will be hard but I have

faith that I can deal with it. It'll be my Chapter Two.For now, I'm hoping and praying that Kyrgyzstan will be peaceful and

stable and can recover from the tumultuous past few months. I know it

will take a lot of work and time, but I think it is doable.Here's to hoping.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan (for the next 8 days)

Jess

In my ample free time the past week, I've been trying to prep for

GREs. I was so super excited to realize that I'm coming home in less

than a month, but for some reason, I didn't grasp the fact that while

I'm home I will be taking the test. Now that that fact has settled in-

I'm cracking down (as opposed to cracking up haha) and really trying

to study hard. I haven't "studied" in what? A year and a half? My

study habits are a little rusty. These are a few of the thoughts that

have crossed my mind while studying this week:- If the GRE people have to use Henry VIII in the example sentence,

the word probably hasn't been used since he was king and therefore, I

don't need to know it.

- One should take care when listening to music while studying

otherwise; the lyrics to James Taylor's Sweet Baby James might

suddenly show up in your notebook under the definition of

"mountebank." Sigh.

- If I could spell, I could get through the vocabulary section much

quicker: having to double check the spelling of the word AND half the

words in the definition really slows down the process.

- It is really helpful to learn the vocabulary words, but when you

have to find the antonym of the vocabulary word and don't know the

meaning of the multiple choice options… all the prep in the world and

I would still revert to the old standby- always guess "C" haha

- Who knew that fourth grade math would come back to haunt me while

I'm applying for graduate school. Seriously, when will ever I need to

divide fractions? And if I'm never going to need to divide fractions,

why to I need to prove that I can do it? Same goes with finding the

area of a circle or half of an equilateral triangle. Sigh.

- If you're writing definitions and forget all about the cup of coffee

next to you, it will eventually turn into a passable substitution for

iced coffee. Minus the ice.

miss you

love from Kyrgyzstan,

jessp.s. I think I have bedbugs.

I know, I know… Another blog? Only, I just had a fantastic day and had

to share it! I can type faster than I can write, so I figured I'd just

blog about it instead of writing it in my journal and then you all can

know about it, too. Today was ""TYLYY." It is sort of a farming

holiday, the best way I understand it. The community gathers and

socializes and prays for rain and good crops. And then have basically

what amounts to a water fight. I got ready with my host family this

morning; it was a beautiful morning, sunny, with a few clouds. We

gathered up dishes, salad making stuff, of course, tea and cookies and

candy, blochkie that we spent hours making yesterday, tushuks, and Apa

made us all pack a change of clothes. She also made me wear a cap. We

all know that my head is too big to pull off a cap, but she knows I

have one, so she made me wear it. My three younger sisters and I

carried stuff to a close neighbors' house where we added all of our

stuff with a few other families in the trailer that is pulled by our

tractor. The kids (and I) rode in the back of the tractor out to the

field behind our village by the pond. A bunch of other families came

and we all set up in a huge line of tushuks, picnic style. The young

women, and kalens started preparing the tables while the old women and

the men sat around and talked. My sisters made it about ten minutes

before a group of boys doused them in water. Lacking water guns or

balloons, bottles make really good splashers. My "eje" status kept the

boys at bay, that plus I was cutting up vegetables for salad near a

group of women who'd have flipped if they got wet. The tables were set

up in groups by streets in our village. I've been picnicking a bunch

with my teaching staff and my family and extended family, but this was

new to me because there were some of my neighbors I don't know that

well, and it helped me figure out which of my students live near each

other. At the far end of the row, they were manning the "kazans,"

three HUGE cauldron type pans that were cooking meat for the besh

barmak. They killed a cow and a sheep and had the meat boiling for

hours. I was super really pleased they decided to do rice besh barmak

instead of noodles because the rice is cooked separate so it doesn't

taste like animal, whereas the noodles are cooked in the broth. We

finished making the salads, and the men erected a sun shelter from the

side of our tractor and we drank tea and ate salads. I took my camera

and decided to take pictures, and my Ata asked me to take pictures of

all the groups… the meat. Haha I took one picture of the three kazans,

and then he came up and made me stand near them and hold the stirrer

thing and take a picture. I was not excited. Boiling meat isn't

exactly my favorite thing. Then, I proceeded to take pictures of the

different groups. Let me explain this process. I usually knew a few

people in every group, either from school, or extended family, so I

would talk to them, make sure it was okay to take a picture, and then

snap it. If that were all, my day would have been so much easier.

Haha. At every single group, I had to "chai eech," salat je," and "nan

oosti." Drink tea, eat salad, and taste bread. I lost count of the

different types of salad I tried, and the different types of jam, and

after about the forty-seventh cup of tea, I quit counting. I made the

rounds of most of the groups before I felt seriously ill. I was SO

uncomfortably full, so I went back to our table with my family and

neighbors and sat while other people came to visit us. Between the

conversations I had with the other groups and the people at our table,

I can basically sum up the majority of the conversations with the

people I'm not close to with five sentences (loosely translated) "You

speak Kyrgyz really well," "Are you married?" "why not?," "when are

you getting married?," "Don't you want to marry my (son, nephew,

grandson, brother) and come be our kalen?" haha I was able to have

real conversations with my family and neighbors. They are all really

excited about my going to America, and my summer plans. After a while,

they announced the meat was ready, so all the groups took buckets up

and got the broth "shorpo" and passed it around. They all know me so

well now that they don't even give me a cup. Haha Then, they brought

the meat and rice. One of my favorite moments was when Apa said to

another eje, "she's my daughter and I know how much she eats and how

much to give her." This was because the eje was telling my Apa to give

me a ton of rice, and Apa knew I wouldn't eat it. I had thus far

avoided being splashed by water by my eje status and the fact that I

told the groups of boys that followed me with mischievous grins and

bottles of water not to splash me because I was holding my camera. I

made the mistake of walking away from the ejes, and not carrying my

camera after we finished eating to stretch my legs. I got splashed by

one facetious little boy and it was all downhill from there haha. The

line had been crossed and within about five minutes I was wet. They

all got yelled at, "that's enough," "don't spash your eje," "don't be

ooyat (shameful)," to no avail. The splashing stopped long enough to

be respectful while everyone did the final "omen" (kinda like an

"amen" after the prayer) and the power of half our village praying to

god for rain was astounding because no less than two minutes after the

omen, the skies opened up and rain started pouring. Most everything

had already been packed up, and between the rain, and the kids

splashing water, and adults splashing water, we got pretty wet before

everything was packed up to go. My sisters and two cousins and I

climbed back into the back of the tractor for the ride home and got

completely waterlogged and hailed on for a few minutes. We got home

and all stood dripping for a few minutes. Apa asked my why I wasn't

changing out of my wet clothes faster, I'd get sick, and then she

laughed when I told her I couldn't because the key to my room just

happened to be at the bottom of my bag under my soaked change of

clothes that I never changed into, a bag of meat, a bag of borsok,

azeez's clothes and a ton of other stuff. After getting my key, drying

off, and changing clothes, you'll never guess what we did. That's

right. We drank MORE tea. I'm sitting in bed typing this and I'm going

to climb under the covers and get good and warm before doing anything

else.I'll try to post pictures soon.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

Literally, (if it was spelled right – I can't find the "ng" key) the

title of this blog means "you all very black went." In translation it

sort of means, "you got really dark." In Issyk-kul, they use the

informal plural for the formal singular. It took me a while to get

used to being called by the plural. My sisters said this to me today

after our outing in the city. My arms and face got tanner, but my

shoulders are "кып кызыл," or "very red." I feel like my summer so far

has been"sunburn by number." I wore a T-shirt and got a farmer's tan

sun burn. Capris gave me a below the knee sunburn. A tank top and

cardigan = my chest got sunburned. A spaghetti strap tank top doing

laundry = only my back got burned. Today I wore a tank top and vest

and my shoulders are really really burned. Eventually, I'll be tan all

over. Hopefully, I'll learn my sun block lesson before I get skin

cancer. Sheesh. I had a fantastic day in the city with my sisters.

Aiculu, Kaciet, Aidana, Nurzada, and Nurzada's friend Zumrad all went.

I had to help the American Corner for a bit at a program by the

university, so we went and played Frisbee for about an hour or so.

Then we went to the park. On holidays the park turns into a carnival,

with rides, and vendors, etc. The girls ate ice cream, kettle corn,

cotton candy, and roasted nuts, and, of course, I had to "oosti"

(taste) everything. The girls wanted to ride a few rides that you

couldn't have paid me to get on. I love roller coasters and rides, but

none of the ones here have any kind of safety restraint, so I must

admit I was quite relived when the girls decided they didn't want to

wait in the long lines. We got Azeez a toy. A water gun. Bright idea,

right? Giving a water gun to an already semi-obnoxious four year old…

he enjoyed it for the four hours he had it before he broke it, haha.

We took a picture with the snake and peacock picture people. I was

surprised. None of the girls were afraid of the snake, not even Aiculu

and she's only eight. Nurzada was the only one who wouldn't touch it.

Not because she was scared, but because it was "gross." Haha. The

younger girls wanted to go to the zoo, but the two older girls thought

they were too cool to go, so I put democracy to the test and we had a

vote, so we went to the zoo. I agreed to let Nurzada and Zumrad wait

outside as long as they promised not to go anywhere and to be safe and

all that jazz and I gave them my second cell phone so they could call

me in case of emergencies. I'm responsible. Haha Aiculu hadn't been to

the zoo since she was a toddler, so she had a blast. Kaciet really

enjoyed it, too because there were new animals. Aidana's feet were too

tired to really enjoy it, I think. She didn't wear comfortable walking

shoes. We finished with the zoo and went to lunch. I took them to the

"Pizza House" restaurant in Karakol. It is super expensive (for my

salary) and we could've eaten lagman or ashlianfu or something

cheaper, but we can eat that at home, and I wanted it to be fun. So we

had pizza. My shoulders were super sunburned by this time, but hadn't

started to hurt yet, so as we chatted waiting for pizza, they marveled

over how red my skin got and how hot. They think it is so weird that I

want to get color. I think they like it when I'm super white. We

walked to the center, and had a good chat. The girls don't really talk

at home when Ata is here because he is irritating and wants to turn

everything into a lesson. The feeling of a child holding your hand to

cross the road or to walk with you is such a great feeling. It's like

they grab your hand and your heart at the same time. Everyone should

be around little kids. It is really good for the soul. We eventually

got a taxi back to the village, but the driver wasn't a regular

driver. It turns out that he was the driver that took Apa and I home

the very first time I came to site. I should have known. He was a

scumbag then, too. He charged us more than he should have then, too.

But anyways, we got home okay. The girls all had a great day, and so

did I.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan (for the next four weeks)

Jess

It has been a very eventful day. It started off pretty slow. I woke up

at a quarter of six, finally dragged myself out of bed at 8ish, had my

coffee and then read til about noon. Apa called to me and asked if I

was free, which I was, so I helped her make bloshki (twisted bread

rolls) for a few hours, then taught Aidana a new crochet stitch.

Nargiza, (another teacher who also happens to be my director's

daughter and our neighbour) came over. I showed her how to crochet a

few months ago, and she wanted my help to learn a new stitch, too.

This afternoon, I went with Aiculu and Aidana to fetch the cows. In

the winter they stay at home, but the rest of the year, the shepherds

and cowboys take them to the fields for the day. We go to get them to

make sure they come straight home. (it makes the phrase "til the cows

come home" quite literal) We put them in the pen and I helped milk

them! It was so weird! And way, way harder than it looks. My host

sisters and I had a couple of great laughs. Our black cow nearly peed

on us all, and our white cow kicked the bucket and managed to get her

hoof stuck on the rim of the bucket. We fed the calf milk, and Azeez

has to be where everyone else is, so he succeeded in scaring the calf

so that it wouldn't drink, and scaring the sheep so that two jumped

out of the pen. We called Apa to feed the calf and took over watering

the garden, which meant hauling buckets of water out to water the

tomatoes. My poor family. They're gonna starve this winter because I

touched the plants. Just kidding. Hopefully they will dilute the power

of my black thumb. Back in January, I planted a flower. So did my

friend Heidi because she was here visiting. I had told my family about

my black thumb and Ata was determined to correct it, and show that I

could keep a plant alive. I think I even bragged a bit in this blog

about how it was flourishing. It is dead now. Not kidding. I watered

it the right amount, kept it in the right amount of sun, the whole

shebang. The flower that Heidi planted is doing great. Go figure.

Sorry. Random tangent. Anyways. After watering the garden, we named

the three kittens. Myshka (don't ask me what it means in Russia)

frances, and gato. You can guess which name I picked. Then my host

sisters and I tried to figure out a plan for our home-language club. I

want to learn Russian, but my pronunciation is horrible, not to

mention that there is this little thing called "will power" that I

apparently lack when I comes to learning languages, but if I teach

them English and they teach me Russian we will all push each other.

After that Aidana and I crocheted a bit. (I taught her bobbles) and

then Ata came in and wanted to talk which is my usual cue to leave.

Haha. So here I am sitting in my room and typing this blog to you

about my day. I still smell like cow, and my hands are super tired,

but it has been a great day and thought you all deserved to hear about

it.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jessp.s. ONE MONTH FROM TODAY I LEAVE FOR AMERICA!

I know that I have said this multiple times, but it never fails to

amuse me how similar some things are about human nature, regardless of

the country. My host sisters sigh when Ata changes the channel from

MTV to ESPN, and it cracks me up because it's just like when Jordan

and I watched TRL every afternoon after school and dad would come home

and want to watch the history channel or golf or the outdoor channel.

Haha The girls also put off their chores until the last minute, and

turn the TV off when they see a parent walking up to the house and

pretend to have been working diligently. I love my host sisters. My

Apa (whom I adore) is so great. My host dad's personality is too

exuberant for me sometimes and for everyone else, too. At dinner the

other day she said, "Jailoo, how many times are you going to say it?"

I could just read the "good grief" on her face. It was great. She also

has the mama eye. You know what I'm talking about. The look that makes

you quake in your seat because you know you're in for it if you don't

shape up fast. She gave it to Azeez this morning. She told him not to

open the china cabinet and he started to anyway. Then she gave him the

eye and said, "go ahead, open it." And he promptly climbed off the

stool. Love it. He will be four this year (on the fifth of august –

best birthday ever, in my opinion haha) and he's just like every other

spoiled four year old on the planet. He can be super adorable and then

make you wanna wring his neck in less than a minute. He leaves his

toys all over and several times a day you'll hear me or one of my

sisters yell "bleen" (it's like "durn" in Russian) because we've

stepped on a sharp toy. In the past day, I've stood on a car, a toy

whale, and numerous bottle caps (he is practicing chuko- the Kyrgyz

equivalent of marbles but usually played with sheep vertebrae).

Anyways, enough about the family.I meant to go to the city and stay the night yesterday, but I didn't.

I went to the city to go to the bank and the getting there was so

frustrating it put me in a bad mood. For one, it was cloudy and gross

outside. I stood on the side of the road waiting for a taxi for about

half an hour. Under normal circumstances I would've just walked, but

it had rained so the road was super muddy and it looked like it would

rain again, so I waited. A taxi that was coming into the village and

dropping people off turned around and picked me up, so I climbed into

the back seat and waited. We drove about 200m and picked up the

Russian equivalent of our village's cat lady and then we waited. And

waited. And waited. And of course, about five cars drove past that I

could've hitched with if I hadn't already been sitting in a car.

Usually, I'm okay with the waiting. I've gotten a lot more patient.

But, I wanted to go to the bank before it closed, my Ipod was dead,

the taxi driver was too friendly, and the Russian lady smelled of

cats. And, it had started to rain. So, we finally left the village and

about 5km outside of the city…. The car breaks down. Not kidding.

After about five or ten minutes the driver gets it going again and we

get into the city. And then we stop to get gas. Gas prices have gone

up a bunch since the revolution. The lines are always super long

because so many of the gas stations have closed. Usually, drivers get

gas on the way OUT of the city. We finally got gas and got to the

center. Now, I'm sitting behind the driver in the back of a two door

car, and the Russian lady is sitting beside me with two big bags in

the floor at her feet. There's no one else in the car. We stop in the

center, and instead of the driver getting out, I'm made to climb over

the Russian lady and all her bags. And we all know that I'm not

exactly the most graceful person on the planet. The Russian lady

doesn't get out, or move her bags. She says, "astarozjna," which means

be careful. Thanks so much! Haha So, I practically fall out of the

car, and I hit my head on the door. What a way to arrive! Needless to

say, I was not in the best of moods at this point, so I just went to

the bank, and did some shopping then came back home. But don't worry.

Being in a bad mood is not code for sliding back into the "bad place."

About ten minutes after getting home, putting away my groceries and

putting on my comfy lounge clothes, my mood improved. Then I ate

strawberries, crocheted and talked to my family, and my mood was back

to normal.The down side of not staying in the city was that I didn't get to have

my skype date with Ciara. So, I called her this morning and had a

lovely chat. What a great way to start a Saturday! She said something

that made me think, about how I won't take things for granted when I

come home. It's true. I have had an easier Peace Corps experience than

some other volunteers, and I really do appreciate what I have, but

there are definitely some things that I will relish when I come home.

For instance, I am really grateful that I get to have coffee in the

mornings. But I will really love not having to chew the grounds when I

have coffee that wasn't made in a p.o.s. coffee press. Haha I really

appreciate being able to do laundry, but I am super excited about the

prospect of dryer sheets and no static cling. I'm super grateful that

we have running water in our house (although some times it is faster

to walk to the pump and fill up a bucket and walk back because the

water pressures is so low), but I am really looking forward to being

able to wash my hair without having to use a bucket. I'm glad the

weather has warmed up, but I can't wait for my hot humid Virginia

summer. (Remind me of this if I have the nerve to complain about heat

when I'm home in July) I'm super excited to spend my summer on the

shores of beautiful Lake Issyk-Kul, but truthfully, I am really

looking forward to seeing my Lake Gaston.I also talked to Mama, and chatted with Jordan and Dee for a bit on

Facebook. It's been a great day! Granted, it is only 9:30 and I

haven't actually done anything today, but still, the weather is

finally nice, I've got an R.E.M. playlist going, school is out, and

I've got the whole day ahead of me to do whatever I want. (within

reason, of course).

So, I think I'm gonna get to it.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

Yesterday and today have actually both been good. Yesterday was one of

the best lazy Sundays that I have had all year. I think I spent maybe

an hour out of bed all day. It was rainy, so I curled up under my

covers and read for most of the day. I took a "little nap" that turned

into a four-hour death nap! And, I didn't even wake up groggy like I

usually do. I crocheted a bit, watched a movie or two, and relaxed. I

needed a restful day. Today, I got up, had coffee, wrote I my journal,

did a pilates workout, cleaned my room, dusted, swept my floor, and

made a delicious egg, onion, and tomato bagel for lunch, Of course,

here, that means I had to make bagels first. MMM garlic and onion

bagels. I don't think I'll ever buy bagels again. They are so easy to

make at home, and taste better than store bought. Whew! I did all of

that and it is just now noon. I'm fixin to go so my laundry (and work

on my tan since I'll be doing it outside) I also might crochet a bit,

since I've got about four half-finished projects to wrap up before

coming home.I didn't go to school today because tomorrow is the last day of

school, which means that there haven't been classes for the past two

school days because everyone has to prepare for tomorrow's holiday.

I'm really excited about it! (Truthfully, I'm just excited to be

excited about anything again) :-DLater:

There's nothing like: forgetting that your cell phone AND Ipod are in

your pocket as you're hauling water and spilling all down your front

There's nothing like: the film that develops across the top of your

"clean" water because the bucket you're using to haul water is also

the same bucket used for milking the cows.

There's nothing like: a great, nasty spider falling from a tree into

your clean clothes

There's nothing like: defending yourself with a bucket from the crazy

angry goose that is chasing you

There's nothing like: your four year old brother reporting all of your

actions to your dad: "jess is adding soap," "jess is drinking water."

There's nothing like: getting to the very bottom of the liter of water

you're chugging and then noticing the stuff floating in it

There's nothing like: being lucky enough to have laundry day coincide

with banya day and having the ENTIRE family walk under your panties on

the way to the banya AND getting wood smoke to scent your clothes

In short, there is nothing like laundry day in Kyrgyzstan. Gotta love it!

(here's to hoping this laundry sunburn sinks into a tan)

Miss you tons

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I am in a great mood! It has been a while, I know. Maybe it is the

fourth cup of coffee that I'm currently working toward, or my eighth

grade B class all earning fours on the test, or tomatoes being under

100som a kilo, or eggplant coming back in season, or the sunny

weather, or being able to wear skirts and open toed shoes and

t-shirts, or the awesome playlist I'm rocking out to, or maybe because

I haven't taken melatonin to sleep for almost a week. I think the side

effects of it were just too much for me. Depression or not sleeping? I

know which I'd choose. Maybe the combination of all these things is

responsible for my happy mood.It has been a super rough couple of months, as I'm sure you all have

realized. But I think I am finally back to myself. It's taken a while,

with a lot of false starts, but I think this time it is for good. YAY!Usually, when I haven't written for a while, I backtrack and try to

catch up on what has been going on, but really? Ew gross. Let's just

not. haha The now is so much better. I'm still working on my GRE prep,

but I'm going to try to avoid the "big words" in this blog. Haha (ly

jck) I realized that I'm taking the GRE's in July and that is coming

up super fast. I'm only SIX WEEKS away from my visit home! How

exciting is that!?!? I have to finish this week of school, and give

exams three days next week and then I'm done with school until

September. I wanted to do clubs, but exams go on until the 25th of

June and I'm leaving that day, so no clubs until I come back in

August. So. June, my dear, whatever shall I do with you? I'm going to

try to find a grant to get textbooks for next year, work on

presentations about Kyrgyzstan that I will do when I get home, and try

not to tire myself out too much going to the lake with my sisters. :-DMy plans to go to Osh to help Heidi with her camp got nixed. Going to

Osh for camps is now off limits due to the whole

"going-through-a-revolution" thing. I think I will do a bit more local

travel instead. I've traveled to all the oblasts already, so I think

I'll stick closer to home and maybe visit the new volunteers on day

trips. I think it'll be fun to go to other villages.Well, I'm gonna go enjoy the pretty weather!

See you in six weeks!Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan!

Jess

What a month it has been so far. And it is only the fifth day. In the

first three days, I hit my head on a low hanging pipe, a door frame,

and a shelf. Talk about a perpetual headache that won't abate.

Saturday, the first, was the Kyrgyz Labor day so there was no school.

And there is no school today because it is also a holiday. Also, the

9th is a holiday, so there is no school on the tenth. Classes end the

twenty-fifth, and then there is a month of exams. I only have to give

one exam during that entire month, but I can't do clubs or camps then

because the kids are still working. So, I need to find something

(other than going to the lake) to pass the time until the end of June.

I might try to write a grant to get textbooks for my school. I'm

already excited for next school year. I dropped the bomb on my ninth

graders that I am not going to teach them next year. They were pretty

upset. I really like my students, but the majority of the ninth

graders don't really want to learn, are loquacious, and don't pay

attention, so I feel like I could be more useful teaching the rising

fifth graders next year because they are really enthusiastic. When I

told them I wasn't going to teach them next year, they were all like,

"we'll do better, we'll study, we'll do our homework," but they've

been saying that all year, and they haven't really improved. I will

continue to conduct clubs, so the kids that really want extra English

practice can get it, but I'm working on eliminating my stressors, and

I think this might be a small improvement. Other stressors I can't

really do anything about, so I take what I can. I sometimes feel as if some of the changes I've made here aren't

necessarily for the better always. I used to be a really nice person,

I've even been called "sweet" on occasion, but I think I have gotten

really rude here, by my personal standards. Examples? I am abstemious

when it comes to eating with my host family. I only eat dinner with

them. We've had this system for almost a year. My host sisters and

host mom are great about it. If they offer me tea, or food, and I say,

"no thanks," they let it go. Not my host dad. He is a really friendly

man, but his officious ways are really beginning to irk my nerves. He

will ask me to come drink tea, or eat, and I will politely decline,

but he continues to push. So, my options are to eat what he offers,

whether I want it or not (the problem with this is that my guileless

face shows my frustration and makes it awkward), or repeat my polite

refusal fifty-eleven times, or be laconic, say no thank you, and walk

away. My host dad has been at home, not working elsewhere for a while

now, and it seems like the whole house is tenser. He is so austere

with the girls. When he is absent, we talk and I sit with the family

and socialize, but when he is here, there is too much pressure and I

become reticent. He wants to turn every conversation into a lesson of

some sort, and it makes it hard to retain my equanimity, so I become

blunt in speech and it makes me feel rude. I also feel impolite when I

do my shopping or banking, or even when I get on marshrukas! I guess

I've integrated because when I do my shopping, I just ask the

salesperson how much something costs, even if they are occupied with

someone else, because if I don't I will never get service. Same at the

bank, I can be just as pushy as the ejes to get to the counter. I used

to wait politely, but the concept of orderly lines just isn't part of

the culture here.All the holidays have caused me to have even more free time than I

used to. So, I've been filling up the time with GRE prep (notice the

pompous word usage so far haha), and antiquing (I found an antique

Sputnik III commemorative fountain pen, and I've been practicing

calligraphy), reading, and cooking. Jordan had to make a comment about

"having tacos at the parentals," so I decided to make them for myself.

Let me walk you through that process. It took two days! I had to soak

the beans overnight, then cook the beans, mash the beans, sauté

onions, and then make refried beans. I had to make tortilla shells by

hand, chop up all the vegetables to make salsa, and grate cheese. It

took forever! It is kinda nice though that basically everything I eat

here is organic, and tastes better than the easier, store bought

stuff.I know some of you are still worried about me, and my post-breakdown

mental health, haha. I'm doing much better. Not great, but a lot

better. I haven't cried in days! unless you count Jordan sending me a

really sweet song that made me cry, and cutting up onions. HahaMy blogs have gotten less frequent and probably more random… because

life here hasn't really been super exciting. I supposed I've just

gotten used to itCan't wait til July!

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

My Dears, Darlings, and Loves:You are all awesome. Just thought you should know. I know those of you

that I've talked to lately, and some of you that I haven't talked to

lately have been concerned about me. Rightfully so, I kinda had a

breakdown. And then another one haha. This past Monday and Tuesday

were probably the absolute worst days that I have had in country. The

whole situation has been very thought provoking, and

epiphany-inducing. I don't really wanna talk (write) about the

situation, because it is depressing, you probably won't understand,

and I've pseudo-moved on. But, I will give you a run down of why I'm

better now. I realized that even on the worst day of my life in

country, if my options were leaving, or staying, it was no question. I

am not ready to leave. Maybe it is the fact that I am an

anal-retentive OCD control freak who couldn't bear to mess up my

ten-year plan, maybe it is because I'm too stubborn to quit, or maybe

it is because I'm stronger than I thought I was… either way, not being

a volunteer is not even something that I wanted to contemplate. So,

(with a lot of help) I figured out that if I can't change the

situation, but I also can't deal with the situation, I guess the only

thing left to change is me, or the way I attempt to deal with the

situation. Recognizing that I'd rather be miserable for another year

than leave Kyrgyzstan made me understand that I can cope, and I'm in

the process of figuring out how. I'm sure I'm not out of the woods

just yet. I'll probably have a few more minor breakdowns before

equilibrium can be maintained, but I'm on an upward slope. As much as

I hate to use clichés, sometimes they are true. When you hit rock

bottom, there really is no where else to go but up. The going back up

part has been good. A combination of things have worked together to

improve my mood. I just got back to my village and instead of feeling

claustrophobic, I am at peace. It is refreshing. The weather has

finally gotten warmer, my girls club just started a big project, I

spent the weekend in the city, and it was so much fun. A recap: Friday

night we went out for pizza (there were about 15 of us, including the

visiting volunteers) and then we went dancing. It was a lot of low-key

fun. Volunteers sometimes tend to get stupid and reckless when we are

in big groups, but this weekend wasn't like that. I think everyone

just needed a get-together to blow off some steam. Pizza and dancing

are a really good remedy. Saturday, we went to the beach at the lake.

It was too cold for swimming, but a picnic, games, and jam sessions

passing the guitar around were great. (good grief, could we have

gotten more stereotypical PC/hippie? Haha) Being outside and warm was

so therapeutic. I got started on my farmers' tan, but managed not to

get too sunburned. Saturday night I hung out with Holo and watched

movies. This morning we had a brunch with everyone for Katie's

birthday before a lot of people headed back. I made my famous cinnamon

rolls, and we had eggs and home fries (the saleslady looked at me like

I was crazy when I asked for 40 eggs and 2kilos of potatoes), and

lemon poppy seed bread. Then I went meandering walk and had a picnic

in the park with Holo for a few hours before heading back. Good food

and good company and good weather do wonderful things for a person.

Also, I had several long emails (I'm working on responses- you know

who you are) and I dunno, I guess I finally feel good again. I'm not

naïve enough to think that the feeling will last indefinitely, but

when I hold on to feelings like this, it makes the dark ones not so

bad.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

Notes to self:

1. Find your glasses BEFORE you take out your contacts.

2. Telling yourself that the white chunks in your potato manti are onions and not fat does not magically turn them into onions and will not allow you repress your gag reflex.

3. You should’ve learned after Jordan’s wedding that volunteering to do any more than two heads of hair is a bad idea. Six 9th graders later- learn the lesson!

4. No matter how much you wish it to not be so, April in Kyrgyzstan is still going to be cold.

5. Mud is as slippery as ice, only when you fall on ice, you don’t have to change clothes.

Random Question

1. Why is it that when I lose weight, it always comes from the boobs first? Totally not fair.

2. Why is it that foods I didn’t really even like that much in America make me drool here just because I can’t have it? For example: caesar salad dressing.

3. What was I thinking letting my laundry pile up this far?

4. Why are farm animals so dumb?

5. Why do people assume I’m anything but American? English, Turkish, Russian, German, French, and Finnish have all been guessed.

About Prom:

Prom was great! One of my ninth graders told me it was the best night of her life haha. It was also her birthday, so I guess that is a good way to celebrate!

Teenagers are the same here as they are in America. The good things and the bad. I don’t really want to go into detail, just think back and remember your own prom, and the behavior of teenagers.

“The Way I Are” was an irritating song BEFORE I became an English teacher and before I heard it four times in one night.

That concludes the randomness of my thoughts for today.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I have gotten a few inquiries about my room over the past few months, and I’m bored, so I thought I’d take a few minutes and describe it. I could just take a picture, but I decided to go for the thousand word option instead. Haha

Right now, I’m sitting in my bed, which is covered with pink flowery sheets, and a pink flowery blanket (I didn’t pick it out), my crocheted blanket, my snuggie, and Mr. Bear. At the foot of my bed on the floor are my water distiller, and my shoes. My bed faces the door, on which I have a bunch of pictures. To the left of the door is my L-shaped desk. Behind the desk is my only plug. Above the desk, on the wall, is every single card I’ve gotten in country. All my visitors love it. The next wall has my window, and a bunch of quotes. In the next corner is my wardrobe. Taped to the wardrobe are my Russian numbers, and hard Kyrgyz grammar reminders. Then I have my mirror/vanity/night stand right beside my bed. That makes the whole circle. Books are lined up on my desk, and under my vanity. My carpet is red. Other things in my room: my guitar, my rice cooker, my sleeping bag, my crochet bag, my space heater, and my bucket. On my walls, in addition to pictures, my map of Kyrgyzstan, cards, and language reminders, are quotes. They kinda make up my wallpaper and help to break up the monotony of sea-foam blue walls, they are all really cool quotes. Some are from a calendar Mama gave me, and others are just ones that I’ve found and like. They help to keep me upbeat when I get down, so I thought I’d share. If you don’t wanna read them, this would be the part where you can skip to the end.

You can have anything you want, if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, if you hold that desire with singleness of purpose.

-Abraham Lincoln

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.

-T.S. Elliot

One cannot consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.

-Helen Keller

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage- Anais Nin

Obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals .

–Henry Ford

Home is not where you live but where they understand you. –Christian Morgenstern

Sit as little as possible. Give no credence to any thought that was not born outdoors while moving freely. –Friedrich Nietzsche

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake-Victor Hugo

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

-Theodore Roosevelt

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. –The Dalai Lama

Patience is the companion of wisdom- Saint Augustine

The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. –Allan K. Chalmers

You are not in charge of the universe. You are in charge of yourself. Arnold Bennett

Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps. –Lloyd George

One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.- Sidney Howard

Make the most of yourself for that is all there is to you. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Home is where there’s one to love us. – Charles Swain

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. – Jane Howard

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - e.e. cummings

Don’t bother just to be better than your competitors or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

-William Faulkner

So much of growing up is an unbearable waiting. A constant longing for another time. Another season. – Sonia Sanchez

Love many things for therein lies the true strength and whosoever loves much anc and accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done. – Vincent van Gogh

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. Langston Hughes

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth. – Friedrich von Schiller

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. – Psalms 99:11

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. – Helen Keller

For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your hearth. – Jeremiah 29:11-13

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be, for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition, and not upon our circumstances. – Martha Washington

We are shaped and fashioned by what we love. – Goethe

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. – James K. Barrie

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it. Success is shy- it won’t come out while you’re watching. – Tennessee Williams

How poor are they who have not patience. What wound did heal but by degrees. – Williams Shakespeare

Commit to the lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3.

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. – Ben Stein

Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed. – Corita Kent

You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach because you do not just live in a world; but a world lives in you. Frederick Buedner.

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer, and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice and the God of peace will be with you. – Philippians 4:4-9

If a woman is sufficiently ambitious, determined, and gifted, there is practically nothing she can’t do. – Helen Lawrenson

In a full heart, there is room for everything, and in an empty heart, there is room for nothing. – Antonio Porchia

Life the life you have imagined. – Thoreau

An optimist is the human personification of spring. – Susan J. Bissonette.

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak, the lord delivers him in times of trouble. – Psalms 41:1

Disappointment, when it involves neither shame nor loss, is as good as success, for it supplies as many images to the mind and as many topics to the tongue. – Samuel Johnson

I also have all of Proverbs 31 written out, but it is really long, so if you don’t know it, I recommend you look it up.

That’s all. So, now you know what my room is like here.

Haha. Yeah, I’m bored. Deal with it.

Miss you tons,

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

First of all, I want to apologize to anyone I've talked to in the past

few days because I know I must have sounded really bitter, jaded,

depressed, and angry. Most likely because I was bitter, jaded,

depressed, and angry. Haha. I'm feeling a bit better today, and since

I've been done with all my work stuff since noon, already went for a

jog and cleaned my room, I thought I would write a blog while I drink

my coffee and eat my rice. I don't know why I'm feeling better today.

Maybe it was the sixth crying fit, maybe it was getting more than

three hours of sleep (I was really bad and doubled my sleeping pill,

but I finally feel rested.), maybe my brain just maxed out its bad day

quota… who knows? Either way, the last week in Kyrgyzstan has been

rough for everyone. From the PCV perspective, the options have been a)

be isolated, lonely, and stressed with no news or b) be surrounded

with other people, have no alone time, and stressed with no news. Both

are equally bad. And the poor PC staff has had so much to deal with.

They have to take what little news we have gotten, try to make

decisions, and keep all 150+ volunteers from going completely insane.

I think they've been doing a great job. I think our safety and

security coordinator literally worked herself sick, and the medical

office has been working super hard, too, trying to keep morale up and

keeping us all up to date. Kudos to them. I started cracking up, and

maybe actually cracked, but I've been putting the pieces back

together. I took a medical approved "mental health day" and went to

the city because I'd been feeling so isolated while we were on stand

fast. It was great to talk to the other volunteers in person and

reassure myself that I wasn't going absolutely nutso. I've been

alternating between waterworks and being a zombie. (not the

"eat-your-face-horror-movie-zombie," the emotionally detached zombie.

haha) We went out for pizza and then Holo and I walked to get stuff to

make chocolate milk (comfort food). On the way back, I stepped in a

puddle. This sparked a half-hour long crying fit. Does that sound

like a mentally stable person? Haha. No. I internalized all my stress

from the past few months, and the uncertainty of the past week was

just my limit, so I blocked out the big stressors and cried over the

little stuff. Dr. Nazgul knew I was stressed as she's been calling to

keep me updated (and to check on me, I think) She asked me how I was

doing and I cried. Again. I think I've cried more in the past week

than I cried the entire year before coming here. I got back to my

village and talked to mama last night and bawled for half an hour.

Sheesh so many tears. But, today at least, I'm better. It seems like I

just wrote a blog about how I have to decide my mood. I swear, every

time I strengthen my resolve, it gets tested further. It really wears

on me. So, I've restrengthened my resolve and threw myself into school

stuff (like prom preparation) and have been trying to stay super busy

to stop myself from thinking too much. After talking to mama, I

realized that the things I usually do to stay busy aren't really

helpful right now. For example, I crochet, because it keeps my hands

busy and allows my mind to wander. My mind wandering is precisely what

I'm trying to avoid, so I've been devoting my energy to things that

keep my mind busier. And, since there are only so many pages of GRE

vocab definitions I can write before that too drives me crazy, I came

up with a brilliant idea to keep my mind occupied (taking my brain out

wasn't an option haha) The idea came to me while I was jogging and

listening to my ipod. I figured I would use my Ipod ESP and talk about

the past week using song lyrics. What? I know. Who thinks of stuff

like that? I think I've made enough allusions to my mental state of

late for you all to get that crazy people think of stuff like this.

So, that explains my last crazy blog.

Miss you tons

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

13 April 2010 These are all from songs that have popped up on my I tunes shuffle

today. The song might not really relate, but one or two of the lyrics

just popped out of the song. If you can tell me which song all of the

lyrics come from, you'll get a gold star. Haha

So the last week, at first I was all like, "I don't think that I can

take another empty moment; I don't think that I could fake another

hollow smile,"(1) I was all depressed and the weather seemed to be

reflecting the mood of the country, so I was all "Grey skies, clouding

up the things we used to see with wide eyes, maybe everything was

meant to be this way, will it ever change? Or are we stuck here on our

own?"(2) I got super frustrated was a cross between "We can close the

curtains; pretended like they're no world outside"(3) and "I thought

about leaving but I couldn't even get out of bed. I'm hanging cuz I

couldn't get a ride out of town, now anyone who really wanted me to be

down, come 'round."(4) It was not a good week for my mood. It was

kinda of "tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself, where did it all go

wrong but the list goes on and on."(5)

Then the thought hit me that the world just goes on anyway, no matter

what you want, and I was very much "The storm maker says it ain't so

bad, the dream maker's gonna make you mad, the space man says

everybody look down, it's all in your mind."(6) and "You can't jump

the tracks, we're like cars on a cable, and life's like an hourglass

glued to the table."(7) with a bit of "got a pebble in my hand, and I

toss it out into the middle of the Rio Grande, but the river keeps

running, don't even know that I'm around, I could throw in a million

more and not slow it down."(8) thrown in. I went for a bunch of jogs

and walks to clear my head and was "we wanna walk a while, we know

that every mile brings us closer home"(9), and "I guess my feet know

where they want me to go, walking down a country road."(10) and

"bye-bye high life, feels like the right time to say so long, keep on

going strong and I'll just keep on being gone"(11) then I talked to

people and crossed between "shut up, I'm wrong, I know and we can't

talk about it."(12) and "I want someone to know me, maybe tell me who

I am"(13) because I couldn't really talk about it and was super

stressed. Then, I talked my friends here who were all "If there is a

load you have to bear, that you can't carry, I'm right up the road,

I'll carry your load if you just call me."(14) Now I now know that I

have to just let things carry on and try not to stress about the

little things that I can't control and "come on now, now, enjoy the

humour of the situation."(15) when it is just the little stuff. The

big stuff isn't humorous at all, but I can't let the little stuff

build up. I also have to get back in the groove because "You never do

the things you want, if you don't go and get a job" (16) I'm not back

to 100% just yet, I'm more of "I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad, I've

got sunshine in a bag. I'm useless but not for long, the future is

coming on."(17) So, I'm preparing for my prom because "when the world

doesn't make no sense and you're feeling just a little too tense,

gotta loosen up those chains and dance."(18) and Saturday will be "the

night when I go to all the parties down my street, I wash my hair and

kid myself I look real smooth"(19)Hope you enjoyed the perks of my being crazy.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I'm not really supposed to talk about what has been happening because

the PC has to stay unbiased. You all probably know just as much about

the situation here as I do because you get as much news as I did.

Truthfully, I don't know enough about what happened to make an

educated statement anyway. But, I can tell you what happened to me. I

went to school on Wednesday and right before my first class started, I

got a call from the PC telling me that there were riots in Talas and

that I should go home because we are on "standfast" and that I should

not leave my house until the Peace Corps called me back. So, I spent

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and part of Saturday stuck in my house.

Saturday they called and said that I could leave my house, but was

restricted to my village. Then, yesterday, we got the "all clear"

which means I can go back to work and life has returned to normal. I

think the experience of the volunteers in Kyrgyzstan kinda reflect the

experience of the country as a whole. Some of the volunteers were

"consolidated," which means they all got grouped together. Some got

taken out of their sites, to a "safe, undisclosed" location, and some

(like me) just got stuck in our respective villages with little news

for a few days. Some of the city volunteers saw some of the protests

and some would have had no idea that anything was going on if we

hadn't read about it. Like in my village, for example, it was super

quiet and business as usual. I was always safe and literally, nothing

happened in my town. Plus, our TV is Russian satellite, so the news

coming in, I didn't understand anyway. I did talk to my Apa about it.

She is not particularly loquacious, but me being stuck at home sparked

some conversation. She told me (I'm pretty sure this isn't violating

any making biased statement rules, more of stating the facts) anyways,

Apa told me that a lot of people had problems with the president

because he put his family members in positions of power. Then she told

me that for Kyrgyz people, if you get a position of power, you are

expected to help out your family. If you have money, or influence, you

have to help out your family. So, Apa explained that it is hard to

balance. I can sort of understand it. If you act according to cultural

norms, you are a "bad president." (not my opinion, I have no opinion,

this a stating of apa's words) but if you ignore the cultural norms,

you're a "bad person" according to Kyrgyz traditions, because it is

shameful to not help your family. So, there you go. The government

changes sometimes don't really affect the little villages at all;

whether it is changes in school rules, or a complete government

change. Life goes on. So, the past few days, I: made delicious

chocolate chip cookies, washed my hair, worked on my GRE prep- I

learned some big words. haha, practiced my guitar, read a few books,

took a banya, made brownies, drank way too much coffee (thanks mama)

did crossword puzzles, gave myself a manicure, watched some movies.

(the new star trek was sweet), and made lists. Yes, I made lists. It

was really scary for a while. Not knowing what was going to happen

with the rest of my PC service. I did realize that I am not quite

ready to come home for good yet. For one, it would totally throw off

my ten year plan haha. So, being my typical OCD self. I made ten year

plan C (I already have an A and a B haha) I made a list of stuff to

take back to American in July, and stuff in want to bring from

American. I edited my bucket list (I've been able to cross a few

things off here), I made an ABCs of my experience in Kyrgyzstan (this

is my favorite list of the last few days, so I'm gonna share)

A- anitbiotics

B- banyas

C- cows

D- dogs (like packs of wild, crazy dogs)

E- elocution

F- fat. (the cure all)

G- grade books

H- honey (fresh honey is SO much better)

I- insomnia

J- "jazgul" (my kyrgyz name, it means "spring flower)

K- knitting

L- the lake

M- mountains

N- nature

O- oddball (a.k.a. me haha)

P- pumpkin manti, pumpkin oromo, pumpkin samsa… mmmm, and peanut butter

Q- questions

R- recluse

S- school

T- tea, or tushucks

U- units (for my phone)

V- vest (I'm crocheting one and it is taking FOREVER)

W- wool

X- (I'm omitting this letter. Seriously, stupid letter.)

Y -yurts

Z- zoo park (the one here is really depressing, just animals in small cages)Haha, I know. I am a total dork. Anyways. I'm gonna attempt to do

something productive since I haven't in a while.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I am beyond ready for a visit home. It has been a rough couple of

days. I did have a few realizations today, though. #1 I know that I

have matured and changed in a lot of ways. Some days it seems more

pronounced, and then there is today. I realized today that in some

ways I am exactly the same. Haha I had rough few days, so I gave

myself a manicure and bought two pairs of shoes. Typical Jess

Behavior. Shoe therapy hasn't changed I guess. Granted the shoes I

bought aren't shoes that I would have normally bought in America. (One

pair has rhinestones) But, they are both super cute, and I got a "wow"

from Aiculu. Haha

Realization #2: For me at least, being happy is a decision that I have

to make. I can be miserable or I can be happy. Even when life is not

all sunshine and roses, I know that I have control over my disposition

and mood. Living here has been a fantastic experience and I have to

remember it. The bad days are outnumbered by the good so I can't give

the bad days the control. I have had to force myself to remember that

sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is hard to fight the

pessimism and the desire to blame Kyrgyzstan when bad things happen

here, but it helps to remember that bad things happen everywhere and

my personal experience in Kyrgyzstan has been amazing and

overwhelmingly positive. I just have to focus on the good and make the

decision to be happy. For Example: A few days ago I got really

frustrated. We had guests coming and I was told I had to make sure my

room was clean so that our guests could "see how I live." I am not an

exhibit at a zoo or museum, in case you haven't noticed. At first it

never bothered me, but every single time we have guests, I'm expected

to play hostess/tour guide to my room. It is not a really big deal,

but just one of the little things that get really irritating after a

while. As a Peace Corps Volunteer, we're volunteers "24/7." And we

have to deal with "living in a fish bowl." I understand that

completely. I'm the foreigner and the extreme minority here, but I

guess I just felt that I shouldn't have to deal with all that nonsense

in my own home. So, I was dreading having guests and feeling kind of

resentful. Then, my host uncle made a joke that I should start

charging admission to see my room. It made me laugh because I guess he

knew how I felt about being on display, but the little joke was the

snap back into reality that I needed. I can be resentful and

irritated, or I can just go with the flow and see the humour of the

situation. I know that I will probably have the same realization

several more times in the next year but there you go. (Being honest,

this could just be that shoe shopping put me in a good mood. Haha)

Realization #3: I think I there is something wrong with me. I have a

really weird mind. Like ADD on crack with a side of crazy. An example:

I walked home from the intersection today because it was such a

beautiful day (bad idea that, carrying a month's worth of groceries

5km. I got blisters on my hand.) Anyways, as I was walking, I got

passed by a light blue dodge spirit. My thought process following that

moment: that looks like mama's old blue dodge spirit, which led to,

when we had that car; we lived in Louisburg, NC, which led to the

memory of Jordan backing Daddy's truck into the side of that house.

And then I laughed out loud, while walking down the road. This thought

chain took about .4 seconds. So I'm walking down the road cracking

myself up for no apparent, obvious reason. Does that sound like a

balanced person to you? Haha this happens all the time! I think this

is part of the reason that I have such a hard time keeping a straight

face and not smiling like we're told to do. I see something and it

reminds me of something completely random and unrelated and then I

smirk. I have a perpetual grin.And now for something completely different: my random thought of the

past two days:

1. I think my Ipod has supernatural powers. It has ESP. I swear. I put

all 8G on shuffle and it played all songs that matched my mood today.

2. There is a reason that farm animals are farm animals.

3. Today I saw a chicken fight. A literal chicken fight.

4. Rice cakes and gummi bears = civilization.

5. I keep all my peanut butter jars and put rice and beans and stuff

in them so I don't have to have the bags. I am equally disgusted and

impressed by the amount of peanut butter I have consumed in one year

6. I now hate American TV. because it has turned into food porn.

Things that I never missed until I saw them on a TV. show or in a

movie. For example, I would do really really bad things for parmesan

cheese. Or an ICEE.. mmm

I think that is all for now.Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess (who still has a shoe addiction)

It is my second to last day of spring break and I was awoken this

morning at 7:30 by a call from Jordan, who somehow managed to get a

skype app on her blackberry (insert jealous fit here) and can now call

me via skype without having to be glued to her laptop. How awesome is

that? I heard through the grapevine that Aunt Pam and Nana commented

to Mama that I haven't blogged in a while, so I am going to remedy

that. Since I was up at 7:30 anyway, after I made my daily breakfast

of oatmeal, and actually put on pants and make up and made myself

presentable, I decided to go to school and try to grade some papers.

My counterpart and I need to plan for the fourth quarter, but she had

to take her son to Bishkek to the doctor for a few days and I do not

know when she will be back. I can not plan without her, but I can

grade papers. So, I went to school because Meerim (my counterpart)

told me that the teachers should be working this week. Nope. The

school was locked. So I walked around the village for a few minutes

and then came home, so I figured since I have nothing else to do I

will catch you up on the events of March. Prepare yourself. This is

most likely to be a long, rambling blog.Before I begin, I have to make a few random comments:

-There is snow on the ground during spring break. Are you aware of the

irony? I never had a real spring break in high school because we

always had to make up for snow days, and now that I have a spring

break, it is snowy.

- I am working on learning Russian in my second year, but I think I

have a mental block. Russian always sounds angry to me.

- Surviving the winter has revamped all my senses. The feeling of

denim against my legs is a new experience. I know, I sound like I am

buckets full of crazy, but you trying wearing long underwear for

almost five months straight and then going without them. It is great!

- During my brief walk around the village this morning, I saw roads

for the first time since November. They were covered in snow for the

longest time, then mud when the snow melted. I am not deluding myself

that they will stay visible, but it has not rained or snowed for a few

days and the mud has begun to dry out in places, so- road!

- What is up with people naming big, ugly dogs "simba?" no offense

Kat, if you're reading this. I'm not talking about your dog. Haha

There are two big ugly barking dogs in my village and both are named

Simba.Okay, I think that is all of the random comments for now.

Now I'll catch you up on all the fun stuff in March.

I left my village a little bit early for Spring Break, to go to the

FORUM conference in Karakol. FORUM is the English Language Teachers'

group and it is awesome. Katie, a university teacher volunteer helped

organize the event. My counterpart attended the event and I went to

help Katie. And by help, I mean that I took attendance and kept time.

But I got to sit in on some cool sessions and see how the English

Teachers in Kyrgyzstan are really attempting to improve their

methodology. Joy, one of my good friends, came up from the south with

her counterpart and taught a lesson. Some of the staff from the

Embassy helped with the event, and took all the volunteers out to

dinner. There is one place in the city with America food, so we had

pizza. They also brought Tostitos and Oreos! This coincided

beautifully because I got a package from Mama that just happened to

have guacamole in it! Joy and I made bean dip and had a regular chips

and dip feast! After the conference, we planned to travel to Talas

together to visit Taylor. We were planning on leaving Saturday, going

halfway, and then going the rest of the way on Sunday, but it snowed.

So we decided to wait and not travel on icy roads, which means that we

had to go from Karakol to Talas all in one day. I'm not sure if you've

seen a map of Kyrgyzstan lately, but they are on opposite sides of the

country. It is a long drive. We left early Sunday morning, and decided

to go by taxi instead of a marshruka, thinking that it would be

faster. The difference is about 150 som, but we splurged. It seems

that if I did not have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Haha just

kidding. It was too good to be true. We found a taxi with two seats,

for a reasonable price, and left almost immediately. No waiting. That

in and of itself is rare enough. But, we would happen to get the taxi

that had something wrong with it and couldn't go over 60km/hour… It

seemed to take forever to get to Bishkek. During the trip we had to

stop for a herd of sheep to cross the road, then cows, and horses, and

turkeys. Yes. A herd?/peck?/flock? of turkeys. The trip was like the

first line of a really bad joke. We finally got to the vauxhall (bus

station) and had to make our switch to get from Bishkek to Talas. I

think I have neglected to mention thus far that Sunday was Nooruz,

which is the Kyrgyz New Year. (Which is why we didn't want to travel

the whole way, everything is more expensive) We tried to find a taxi

with no luck, and then found a man with a mini van who wanted 800 som

a piece to take us to Talas! He was crazy on toast, and I told him so.

It is usually 350 som with a mini van. I figured we would have to pay

a bit more, but not that much more. So, we tried to take a marshruka

because they are normally 250, so we figured they'd be about 350. We

found a marshruka, but couldn't take it. There are two ways to get to

Talas, one through the mountains, and one through Kazakhstan. That's

right. We were going to the part of Kyrgyzstan so isolated that you

have to go through another country to get there. Haha But, we do not

have Kazakh visas, so we couldn't go with marshruka. The original mini

van driver knew we were in a fix, so we tried to bargain. We refused

to pay more than 600 and we wouldn't go below 650. But, he had a buddy

who would take us for 600. So we got to the other mini van and are the

first two to get in, which usually means that we would have to wait,

possibly for several hours to fill up. Luckily, we had a full van

within an hour. Unluckily, all the other passengers were men. Neither

Joy nor I wanted to ride in the middle, so we ended up in the very

back row with a little Kyrgyz man between us. The other guys were all

very friendly and chatty, but the man between us wouldn't speak to us.

We ended up leaving Bishkek around 4:30. We stopped on the outskirts

of Bishkek to pick up one of the guy's aunt. It made me feel a little

bit more comfortable having an eje with us. At this stop, they also

got the requisite bottle of vodka, and proceeded to toast the holiday

and each other. Joy and I both turned down drinks, but chatted quite

amicably. Joy is a university teacher and rarely has to use Kyrgyz,

but one of the guys knew a bit of English and they talked. I talked to

the guys and the eje. The guy between us, after a few shots of vodka

got positively chatty. The eje asked me, "don't you want to come be my

kalen?" I had not been asked that in a long time, probably because I

hadn't left my village for a long time and my villagers know the

answer. I laughed it off, but she brought it up again. So, I told her

that I would be a horrible kalen because I don't eat meat, don't want

kids, and can't cook. While all of that is not necessarily true, it

pretty much disqualifies me from being a good Kyrgyz wife. Haha One of

the guys showed us pictures of his wife and son. Then, not ten minutes

later asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him, "no," he said he

could be my boyfriend. I politely declined. We stopped for a break

about halfway through the mountains. I threw up. This means that I

have visited all of the oblasts in Kyrgyzstan and been sick in all but

one. Haha go me! We chatted with the other passengers all the way to

Talas, and they asked for our numbers. A lot of volunteers won't give

out their number, but I give mine to anyone that asks for it (within

reason) I like talking to people and if I don't recognize the number,

I just don't pick up. I do get a lot of heat sometimes for being to

open. Or "flirting" as one of my friends here calls it. I don't see it

that way. I'm just friendly and outgoing and can't not talk to people.

I still say "hello" back to people when they yell it at me. Most

volunteers ignore it. Anyways, even though we paid twice as much as we

should have for the ride, and were in a car for over twelve hours

straight, the trip from Bishkek to Talas was by far my favorite trip

in country. We got to Taylor's village about 9:30 or so and spent the

next few days doing nothing and hanging out. Alex came up from the

south, too. Heidi was supposed to come, but couldn't get a taxi. We

watched TV, swapped movies, made American food. We made lasagna, from

scratch. (Well we kind of cheated with the sauce; we had to sub tomato

paste because tomatoes are still really expensive.) I also made

bagels; they are getting to be my specialty, and burritos. I think I

probably gained five pounds in three days! Taylor kept apologizing for

us not doing anything, but it was exactly what I needed. A lot of

times when volunteers get together we have to be "doing something." It

was really great to just hang out, talk, eat good food, and not be

going nonstop. We left Talas on Wednesday to head back to Bishkek. Joy

had to pick up a form from the PC office, and I got a dentist

appointment because one of my teeth has been really sensitive and

hurting. We got into Bishkek in the afternoon, went by the PC office

for a few hours, chatted with the staff. I haven't been into Bishkek

since our training in November, so it was nice to see the PC staff and

go to an American café. The next morning Joy headed to the airport and

I headed to the dentist. I found out that my tooth had been hurting

because I lost a filling. Too many stones in my beans, I supposed. She

also told me that I had lost part of another filling and as a result,

got a cavity under the rest of the filling. Go figure. She refilled

the tooth that was hurting, but as the one with the partial filling

missing wasn't hurting, decided to wait until my mid service exam to

remove the entire filling and redo it. My exam should be right after I

get back from America. Lovely. Something to look forward to. After my

appointment, I went to my PST village for a visit. Apa wanted me to

stay the night, but I had been out of issky-kul for long enough and

wanted to come home. So, I managed to be in and out in less than two

hours. Miraculous. Every time I've gone from Chui Oblast back to

Issyk-kul, I've gone directly from Bishkek, but my village is in

between. It didn't make sense to go two hours out of the way, so I

tried my luck leaving from Tokmok, a good sized city the opposite

direction. There were no marshrukas going to Karakol and the big buses

did not leave til 8. We're not allowed to travel between oblasts at

night, so I took a taxi to Balikchy, and was the last person in, so we

left right away. In Balikchy, I found a marshruka to Karakol but there

were only three people so I figured I'd have to wait awhile. Nope.

With ten minutes, we were on our way. We stopped a lot on the way

picking up and dropping people off, and from about 45 minutes out of

Karakol, I was the only passenger. That has never happened before. The

driver was really nice, though and we chatted. He also dropped me off

close the apartment instead of the vauxhall so I wouldn't have to walk

alone at night. It was too late to get a taxi to my village, and I had

one of the city volunteer's keys that I needed to return, so I stayed

in the city. By some weird stroke of chance, I was the only volunteer

in the city. All the city volunteers were gone. I needed to return the

key, so I had to wait until the volunteer came back, which was not

until Saturday afternoon. I had almost two whole days of alone time. I

missed my village, but had been around people non-stop for such a long

time, it was really nice to have an "alone time" break. I left Sunday

morning (in the snow!) to come back to my village. I was hoping to

find a taxi directly here, and not just to the intersection because I

had a ton of stuff to carry. I got kind of lucky. There was only one

taxi, and the driver is my host uncle. I know his car, so I waited by

it because he was in the bazaar. There were a group of Kyrgyz men

waiting near by, and they were not entirely sober, but I was in a

crowded place and felt safe. Two police officers approached me, and

while I am not afraid of the police, being a foreigner requires a

healthy level of caution when dealing with police officers. I thought

they might ask for my id, because I so obviously stood out holding so

much stuff, but one of the guys spoke in English and asked me a few

questions, then told me I should be careful because the Kyrgyz guys

were drunk. Life is always full of surprises. The Kyrgyz guys were

talking to me, and I tried to ignore them because I don't like when

drunken people shout at me. I tried to pull the face that my country

director called a touch me and I'll kill you face, but I've never been

able to pull it off. Haha One of the men talking to me asked me if I

wanted to marry his son. I gave him the same excuses that I gave the

eje on the way to Talas. Usually that deters people, but this guy was

persistent. He told me that they could teach me to be a good Kyrgyz

wife and they could just take me. Bride kidnapping is not a funny

topic, but usually people are joking when they mention it. It is not

something that I find amusing or want to joke about but for the last

year, laughing it off has kind of been my defense mechanism to deal

with it. I just can't do it anymore, so I ignored the guy. Most of the

time, the drunk men I see are pretty harmless, and I didn't'

necessarily feel unsafe, more irritated. My inner voice (it sounds

eerily like mama) was just started to suggest that I think about

removing myself from the situation when the drive walked up. It

probably worked out for the best because otherwise I would have had to

wait at the intersection to my road and when we drove past, there were

two groups of men, and one group was doing vodka shots at the back of

the car. Now before you start to freak out that I'm unsafe or in

dangerous situations (yes, Aunt Pam, I'm talking to you haha) I'm not.

I normally feel very safe in my community and in Kyrgyzstan in

general. I just wanted to write about the way things are.So, spring break. It was quite an adventure, went to Talas, and had my

one year anniversary, made bagels. Oh, and you are going to laugh, but

I also wrote a little song yesterday. It was my one year anniversary,

it was spring break, it was snowy, and I was bored. So sue me. I

thought it would be appropriate to go to the tune of the "12 Days of

Christmas." I was, truthfully, really, really bored. Haha"The first year in the Peace Corps, Kyrgyzstan gave to me:

A house with an apple, apricot, and pear tree

2 lost fillings

3 crocheted blankets

4 weekly clubs

5 months of snow

6 oblast visits

7 antibiotics

8 falls on ice

9 Kyrgyz classes

10 host family members

11 summer salads

12 months of adventure"I think it sums up my first year in Kyrgyzstan quite well. I still

can't believe that a whole year has gone by. If the next year goes by

as fast as the first, I will be home before you know it!Miss you tons,

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

How is it that the tape, which refuses to hold my map to the wall,

will hold the map to itself and make it impossible to unstuck?What did I do differently in today's eight grade class that allowed

them to understand the simple present tense, when the last five

lessons didn't stick? Is the sixth try the charm?Why is it that the days that I go to bed early, the power doesn't go

out, but the days that I want to stay up late, the power goes out

early?Is the amount of eggs that I am eating in a desperate attempt to get

protein really gonna give me high cholesterol? (thanks mom for putting

that in my head)Why do I never buy enough yarn, and why do they never have the same

shade twice in a row? (getting ¾ of the way through a project, only to

not have enough yarn to finish it and being unable to buy more of the

same color really sucks)Why did I never like television until I came to Kyrgyzstan?

(seriously, psych? Burn notice? How I met your mother? – How did I not

know about these until I got to the middle of central asia?)What is the Kyrgyz word for smart-alek? (I mean, I could do clever

donkey, but the effect just isn't the same.)Why are the seasons messed up? Fall felt like spring, spring feels

like fall, and winter was just hell.What happened to our geese? (I know the answer to that one- but I just

don't want to think about it. Except for that one really obnoxious

goose, I'm thrilled they ate him.)Should I be worried about an eleven day sinus infection that won't go away?

That's all for now.

Miss you.

Love from Kyrgyz-finally-getting-warmer-stan

Jess

I thought it was time for me to write a blog. I have not written in a

while. My reasons haven't changed. Nothing exciting has happened. I

got to wash dishes today! Having four younger sisters usually means

that I don't get to help at all, but due to the frantic

getting-ready-to-go-guesting status of most of the family, I just did

it. And I managed to not mess up my manicure too much. Another reason

that I haven't written a blog in a while is that I've been sick. For a

solid week. Being sick in Kyrgyzstan is so inconvenient. I would

seriously do bad thing for a Walgreen's. I had a really bad sinus

infection with ear ache, sore throat and I think a touch of

bronchitis. I refused to call the PCMO because I didn't want to start

round eight of antibiotics. I missed a few days of school, but about a

quarter of my students were apparently out sick, too. and another

quarter were sick but came to school anyway. I had to endure a week of

listening to my host dad tell me that I got sick because I wore flats

to school one day. It couldn't possibly be due to the fact that kids

at school are sick, two of my host sisters are sick, and my immune

system has been completely destroyed. I has to be the shoes thing.

Then, this morning, Ata was sick, too. I couldn't resist and asked him

what shoes he had been wearing. He laughed at me, but I can't help it

and my smart-aleckness just pops out. I also had to endure a week of

turning down remedies and cures. I'm sorry, but I'd have to have one

foot in the grave and another on a banana peel before I consented to

rub sheep fat (or goose fat) on any body part. And I'm not rubbing

vodka on me anymore either. Did that once for a stomach ache and we

all know how that ended. (I think I blogged about how difficult it was

to clean sick off of sheets…) anyways enough about the being sick. I'm

feeling much better now. I still opted to turn down the invitation to

go guesting today (for the first time in eleven months) I didn't feel

like a) cramming in with 12 other people into a two door Lada b)

staying out until midnight when I have school tomorrow c) explaining

to forty more people why I'm not eating bread (giving bread up for

Lent has been really interesting) or d) turning down besh barmak.

Again. So I stayed home with three of my host sisters. As he was

walking out the door, Ata told me I was the kyrgyz equivalent of "in

charge" haha! My host sisters are great. It still occasionally strikes

me how similar teenage girls are here and in America. They watch MTV,

borrow each other's clothes, and put off doing chores until the

absolute last minute. Love it.Being sick has allowed me to finish all the seasons I have of How I

Met Your Mother, reread Jane Eyre for the third time in country,

finish a crocheted market bag, and watch a ton of movies. And I mean a

TON of movies. Mostly they just turned into background noise the past

week, but still, I thought we'd play a little game. I'm going to give

a quote from ten of the movies I watched this week and see if you can

guess them all. If you can, you're awesome. If you can't you're still

awesome.

1. "anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission,

quest, thing."

2. "certainty of death, small chance of success.. What are we waiting for?"

3. "his son chico"

4. "you know what we need man? Some rope." "absolutely. what are you, insane?"

5. "I'll pistol whip the next guy who says shenanigans!"

6. "I can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding."

7. "They refused to give me their names, but their ranks are nine

lieutenants, five captains, three majors, and one very fat colonel who

called me a 'cheeky fellow.'"

8. "I swear to god, if I even feel somebody behind me there is no

measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your

doorstep."

9. "We got a German here who wants to die for his country. Oblige him."

10. "This is hockey, there is no batter. Idiot."I know, I'm super cool, right.

Oh! I can't believe I haven't written about this yet! I'm coming home!

Mom bought the ticket! I'll be back in the states from the 30th of

June to the 25th of July! Sweet!

We need to start making plans!See you all very soon!

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I haven't written in a few days mostly due to the fact that nothing

has happened for a few days. Don't believe me? The most noticeable

things of the past week:

I got a package from home with starbucks Christmas blend coffee and

made a home made latte.

About half of my classes got cancelled or rearranged last week because

of our decathlon.

Yesterday was a holiday: "Defenders of the Fatherland Day," or "Man's Day."

I almost finished with the crocheted blanket for heidi—my second in country.

I cracked my host dad up by cheering for the US hockey team rather

enthusiastically.

The big news: It rained! This means that it is warm enough to not

snow. My roads are now slush, but I can deal with that.

And the main reason that I am writing today was because something

happened today. I caused an uproar at school How did I do this? I wore

shoes (flats) instead of boots. And I wore tights instead of thermals.

It wasn't a big uproar, but all the teachers asked me "aren't you

cold?" or "where are your boots?" "aren't you gonna get sick?" but my

favorite came from apa "Are you crazy?" haha Today is sunny and warm

(mind you that my descriptions of warm and cold are COMPLETELY

different from what they once were- by "warm" of course, I mean "I can

walk the 200M to the school without becoming a human ice cube on the

way.") I am not going to get sick from wearing flats instead of boots,

not when I'm outside for such a short period of time. And leaving the

house without thermals was amazing! I'd forgotten what that felt like.

Of course, being completely honest, the fact that the shoes in

question were red, might have contributed to the uproar a wee bit

since they are so noticeable. Yes, I bought red shoes in Kyrgyzstan.

They are my favorite pair that I have bought in country, and yes, that

implies that I have bought more than one pair of shoes here. shuddup.

I guess that the PC has not cured my shoe fetish haha.That really is all that I have to say. I fear we might have reached

the point in my service where blogs become less frequent because

nothing exciting is happening. We shall see…Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

14 February 2010

Happy Valentine’s Day! – Jordan, you’ll have to call me or write me a long email about your weekend. I want to know how many times you and Kris fell down your first time snowboarding!

This is the “I had a slumber party, and it was awesome and I love everything” blog.

I realize that my last blog was quite miserable, almost humorously so. After I wrote it, I put on my pjs and watched Anastasia. I was feeling much better, and then my host sister came and got me and told me that the teachers at school needed me. So, I got dressed and went to school. There was a visiting delegation of directors from other schools and they wanted to see me. I went to school and saw them, and they complimented our classroom. The teachers and my director wanted me to sit and have tea with the visiting directors, but I was in no mood to be on display, thank you very much. So, I hung out in with the teachers who were serving tea. After the directors left, my teachers and I all had tea. We chatted for a bit, and then I came home. On the way home, I ran into a tree. I was walking with my head down, watching out for ice, since I had already fallen once that day and BAM… I walked right into a tree. I guess you could say that it, quite literally, knocked some sense into me. Haha I’ve been in a better mood since then.

I woke up this morning to one of sunniest, blue sky days we have had in quite some time; maybe that has something to do with my fantastic mood. The past few days have been considerably better. I guess I should go in chronological order starting with the slumber party from last week, skipping the bad days and finishing with this morning.

So.

The slumber party… was awesome. Granted it was very overwhelming with 15 girls descended on my house all at once. (I was thinking they would trickle in, but they all met up and came together) The 15 girls, plus my 4 host sisters, brother, apa, ata, counterpart, another teacher, and I made a big crowd. I have found that teenage girls are most resourceful and are best handled by being left to their own devices. Of course, here “their own devices” almost always ends up with a disco-tech, so our hall was turned into a dance party for a while and I was roped into re-teaching the cha-cha slide for the girls who were not at the last club. (shuddup Jordan) after which, the girls had a tea and cookie break. They all brought cookies, and I made about 10 dozen oatmeal cookies due to an error in our PC cookbook (I don’t want to go into detail because it makes me feel like an idiot. 6 cups of butter, honestly!) anyways. Teenager sure can eat! We had our tea break at around 7ish, so I decided to push the pizza dinner back until 9-9:30ish since it turned out that all the girls got permission to stay until the morning and no one had to leave early. I had intended on having all the girls help make pizza, but I reevaluated trying to avoid an anxiety attack on my part. 17 girls in our little kitchen would have been WAY too many. So I enlisted the help of the two 11th grade girls, my two youngest sisters and my counterpart and we made pizzas. I always end up making too much food when I cook for big groups (enchiladas in Norfolk as an example haha) and figured “hey! We can just have cold pizza for breakfast” – wrong. After we ate, I led a game of three round charades. I took a while to get the rules across –the second round where they could only say one word was particularly hard for most of them. And the third round they had to act out each other, me and my counterpart, along with every fruit and vegetable haha. (They weren’t very creative with the first time of picking words) Then we had another dance party, they girls played some games, and I got bullied (teenage girls are quite demanding haha) into reading tarot cards for every single girl (and my host dad haha) right after I started the power went out, so I read tarot cards by candlelight, which I thought added to the scene, although my use of two different dictionaries to translate the little book probably detracted from it. Tarot card reading, Uno, B.S, and Egyptian ratscrew carried us until about 2am. Then we put in “27 Dresses” on my computer for the girls to watch. Only about 5 girls made it through without falling asleep. The others said “we’re just gonna lay down, not sleep, until the power comes back on.” So from 3 to about 5:30 most of the girls slept. And of the course the ones that didn’t sleep were ruthless. Haha every girl that slept got drawn on with lipstick. I felt kinda bad ( I mean, it was my lipstick haha) but hey, girls will be girls, and who am I to detract from their fun. Especially if I’m being kept awake all night. And I’m sure a number of illicit calls to and from boys on friends’ cell phones occurred, but they were harmless. (I had to adamantly refuse about six boys at school the day before who begged to come) The power came back on at about 5:30 and we made friendship bracelets and listened to music until about seven, when we had tea again with the rest of the cookies (the left over pizza disappeared in the night.) and at 8ish when it got light outside, the girls went home. My two oldest sisters and I promptly passed out. I slept til noon and was the first to rise. All the feedback was positive and the girls have already asked when the next one will be. I told them “anan” which means “later” and gets me off the hook for some time.

Skipping over the ghastly next few days and jumping around: (I think I’ll just do this in bullets and say all the good stuff from the past few days and this morning)

-My oldest host sister has started eating around the meat in her food, something I am saved from doing because Apa does it for me. The resulting “discussion” reminded me so forcibly of the same conversation I had with my Mama in high school, when I did the same thing that it made me laugh and want to cry at the same time. (but in a good way)

-I agreed to chaperone the Valentine’s Day party yesterday so the kids could have it, and was forced to be on a jury for the contest. It was a lot of fun, even if I did freeze half to death.

-I finally figured out how to knit a week or so ago, and last night apa taught me the kyrgyz way of knitting. I’m gonna attempt a scarf once I finish crocheting the blanket for heidi.

-My youngest host sister turned down a trip to the city with my parents this morning so she could stay home and bake cookies with me. (I’m going to attempt apple tarts this afternoon. Wish me luck)

-I did my weekly change of thermals this morning and decided to not put any back on. So, for the first time since October, I’m not wearing thermals at the moment. And not because it is particularly warm, mind you, I just realized that I’d forgotten what it feels like to not wear them.

-Granted, after I went outside to do my weekly hang-up of my sheets, it took the better part of half and hour for my lower extremities to thaw out. It is sunny today, so I am going to pretend that my sheets are going to be clean when I bring them in. I haven’t been able to wash them in a while because I only have the one pair and it takes at least a week for anything to dry all the way on the line, so I make do with hanging them outside to air out and to beat the dust off of them once a week. It continually surprises me how much dust accumulates in my room. My window doesn’t open, so it is really hard to air out my room in the winter, and it seems like I dust my room every day. It isn’t surprising really, that I have a perpetually stuffy nose. I need a heap-filter. I’m rambling.

-My rice cooker has surpassed itself with awesomeness. I have made rice, beans, lentils, noodles, and oatmeal. Delish.

-I’m slowly (very slowly) learning to play the guitar. It has been difficult to find a downloadable pdf file for help. I’ve found ones that just cover reading music, and ones that have something to do with “tabs” but it is kinda hard to teach yourself with a book. It was the same with knitting. Jenn sent me that fantastic teach-yourself-to-knit-book, but it wasn’t until Holo showed me that I really got it. I think the guitar might be the same way. Luckily, a good number of the volunteers know how to play. I guess I’m what all my training books call a “tactile learner.” Haha

- I just realized that I’m on page three, so I think this qualifies as enough positive to make up for the negativity of the last blog.

Miss you!

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

10 February 2010

This is not going to be a happy blog. This blog might not even be pleasant. So, if you are accustomed to, and want the “everything is wonderful” blog; I suggest that you stop reading now and wait a bit for the “I had a slumber party, and it was awesome and I love everything” blog. This isn’t it.

If you’re still reading, sorry. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This has been a down week. And not the “I’m kinda sad - borderline depressed - mopey – missing America – feel like crying a lot” down that I’ve experience a few times. This down is new and different. This down is the “i.hate.everything – am in a really pissy mood – am beginning to believe that certain people were placed on this earth for the sole purpose of irritating me” down. I kinda feel like Jordan on a bad day. haha (jk sis, ly) I’m not sure what brought it on, but there you go. And, I’m stuck with the problem of how to deal with it. I am the type of person that needs to vent. But I’m also the type of person that doesn’t want to inflict my moodiness on anyone else. It is different if I have a problem, and need advice, or am feeling down and need a pick-me-up. I just don’t want to inflict this nasty mood on anyone else. So I can’t call anyone. Also, I don’t want to write in my journal or blog about the particulars of my bad mood, because in a few years, I don’t want to remember this. I don’t want one week of snarkiness to color 10 months of mostly good days. I want to remember the “I am doing something productive, and helpful, and having a great time” weeks. I don’t want to remember the “I will rip your face off if you so much as look at me” weeks. Haha. So, (and I’m not exactly proud of this, but hey…) I made a list. “big surprise” you might say, haha. I made a list of “Everything I Hate Today.” Then, I went outside and lit it on fire. Haha. It was the best I could do because all my other coping mechanisms are out. I would practice my new guitar, but I’m not in the right frame of mind for patience and might go rock star and destroy something, and I’d regret that later. I could knit (now that I’ve FINALLY gotten the hang of it) but knitting needles would make too convenient of a weapon. (and to paraphrase my favorite sister here, ‘I’d stab someone’s eye out, and happily go to jail, where I would sit and giggle imagining them in a pirate eye patch’) and if knitting is out because of maybe using needles as a weapon, there is no way I’m going to let myself cook anything that involves knives. This is what the PC has done to me haha. I’ve gone from pacifist, to imagining stabbing someone with knitting needles. (just in case any prospective PCVs are reading this, I’m just kidding about the stabbing thing. Mostly haha) I knew this would happen eventually. In fact, it is just about right on time with the “what to expect” paper that PC gave us. For some reason, this does not really help and it irritates me... haha

I did wash dishes, which helped a little bit. I also attempted an unsuccessful walk, but it is snowing (go figure) and I fell down. Again (go figure again) So, in an a last bitter attempt, I’m going to put on my new sock monkey footie pajamas (courtesy of the totally amazing jenn) and crawl under the covers, try to get warm, read a book, and maybe do a crossword to take my mind off of stuff. All of which will probably lead to a nap, after which, I might attempt to bake something (with no knives haha)

If you stuck through this bog of negativity, keep an eye out for the next blog about the slumber party which will be full of sunshine and roses. (pending me not stabbing anyone’s eye out and ending up in jail. Haha jk)

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

j

My lovely sister posted a blog of notes to herself for the first few days of February. I thoroughly enjoyed it at thought I would borrow her idea and do my own. This is a lists of things I have learned so far in February. (or relearned, as it may be):

1.note to self: the absorbance of notebook paper as tp is negligible. Always carry tissue.

2.note to self: do not laugh when a student says a word in kyrgyz that sounds dirty in English, because then you have to explain why you laughed. (I won’t write it here, because of some of the delicate eyes that read this, but if you really wanna known, ask me to say mud in kyrgyz)

3.note to self: never squeeze the air out of a bag of flour.

4.note to self: when translating songs in an English club, be sure to not let your students pick the most irritating song in the universe because you have to listen to it about fifty eleven times to translate it.

5.note to self: find a better way to avoid watching animals get slaughtered. If you cover your eyes at that part in the video of your uncle’s wedding, you will never, ever live it down and your host father will tell everyone you know, and they will laugh at you.

6.note to self: “vegetarian” food does not always mean “vegetarian.”

7.note to self: stop falling down

8.note to self: when you unplug the cell phone that you use for internet before it disconnects and your computer gets the blue screen of death.. twice… don’t do it again

9.note to self: know who you are, and who people refer to you as. If you ignore a three year old when they say “desda” (jessika) they will just keep saying it louder until you realize that they are talking to you.

10.note to self: if it looks like poop, it is probably poop. No further investigation needed.

11.note to self: don’t spill cocoa powder.

12.note to self: find a way to remove spilled cocoa powder from carpet.

13.note to self: if 9th grade boys are in a group laughing hysterically, they can not possibly be up to any good.

14.note to self: if you burn your sisters a cd of music, make sure you like the music because they will play it nonstop. (the twilight soundtrack)

15.note to self: if water is frozen, pee is too. be careful in the outhouse.

Hope you enjoyed that. As a side note, I wanted to make an observation of something that struck me today. You do not necessarily have to know something to be able to teach it. For example, you all know that I can not carry a tune in a bucket, yet I taught 9 classes Christmas carols. And the metaphor to describe my dancing skills has yet to be uttered, but did I not just spend the last hour teaching my girls’ club how to dance. Watching Footloose with my host sisters was a bad idea, they have been pestering me to teach them American dances ever since. So, today I taught them the electric slide and the cha-cha slide. Mind you the last time I danced to either of them was at Sarah’s wedding, and that was how long ago? Oh well, it was the most appropriate American dance that I could do, and they seemed to really enjoy it.

I’m getting ready for our slumber party tomorrow, so wish me luck! (later today, actually)

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

j

It is only monday and this is already a great week. A lot better than last monday anyway.

Here are a few random things:

1. Holy cow! It is February. When did this happen?

2. I am getting taken advantage of, and I love it. My girls' club girls have convinced me that we need a slumber party, a valentine's day party, and a monthly dance party. (i talked that one down from a weekly idea)

3. Teachers' English Club on Monday. Two English clubs on Tuesday, Girl's Club on Wednesday, and knitting circle on Friday. I'm doing it again.... I need to learn to say know, but I like saying yes too much.

4. One of my ninth grade boys came to school holding a rag to his eye that he wouldn't take off. While I was talking to my Zavuch, he came in and asked if he could go home early because his eye hurt. We asked him what happened, and made him show us. He had a spectacular black eye that was swollen shut. We asked him again, what happened, and he most unwillingly told us that his sister punched him. His sister is my favorite 11th grade girl. I love it! It has been cracking me up all day how embarrassed he was that his sister blacked his eye.

5. I'm teaching my host aunt to make cinnamon rolls tomorrow. mmmm

6. My host dad told me that the weather is starting to get warmer. It was only -20 today. ONLY. MINUS. TWENTY. sigh...

7. I found a yellow bell pepper today at the bazaar. The biggest problem I am facing in my life right now is trying to decide how to eat it. Life is good.

miss you

love from Kyrgyzstan.

jess

29 January 2010

My host sisters and I stayed up late talking one day this week and the idea was born that we should have a slumber party with the girls from the girls’ club. This one little event has really made me think. Here are my thoughts, they are random and odd, but there you are:

Kyrgyzstan has completely cured me of my fear of public speaking. If I can stand in front of a group of girls and facilitate a discussion on problem solving, in a language that I do not know that well, speaking in front of a group of people in my native language should never be a problem again.

While Kyrgyzstan has cured me of one problem, it has given me another. My girls’ club, I fear, is going to give me ego problems. My girls told me that they wanted me to teach them how to dress and how to do their makeup. I responded that I do not know how to dress or how to do makeup. I mean, I do my own makeup and can usually match clothes, but that is about it. They told me (in a polite way) that I was being crazy. “Just show us how to do our make up like you do yours, and how to dress like you.” Wow. I know that the simple fact that I am an American puts me on a pillar of “cool,” so most of it has nothing to do with me, but still. Can you understand how hard I am going to have to try to not let what they say to me affect me? Haha

I am a control freak. Duh. Anyone who knows me knows that. What has changed is the scope and spectrum of my control. In a place where I have little to no control over my surroundings, I have surrendered control of the big things. I go with the flow. I am much more spontaneous and open to new things. “There is no water”. Okay, I do not even ask why anymore. “We are not having class today because the teachers are going to a party.” Okay, when are we leaving? “We are two lessons behind in almost all of our classes.” We’ll just rearrange it. Oh well. But, I am disappointed in myself to realize that I am still clinging to control over the small things. This slumber party, for example:

-I asked my host father if we could have the slumber party at our house. He gave permission. And then, without asking or talking to me, he had a meeting at school with my director and the two vice-principals and talked out the slumber party. Without me. I knew that I would have to talk with my director and get permission from the girls’ parents and all the administrative crap. My host dad just wanted to help. But sometimes he is helpful to the point of being overbearing. I know that I should not be upset about him wanting to help, but the fact that he took control of the slumber party irked my nerves. So I guess I still have a ways to go until I can surrender my control freakiness.

Due to the meeting with the director, I now have to submit a plan of what we will do at the slumber party. I really was not planning on putting that much work into it. We were planning on making pizza and then just letting the girls hang out and have fun and do what they want to do (within reason). I talked to my host sisters last night and told them that I didn’t want to write a plan because I didn’t want the party to be structured; I wanted them to do what they want to do. The advice my oldest sister gave: well, just write the plan and give it to the director, and then we’ll just do what we want anyway. Who else but a fifteen year old could give such advice? Haha

Also due to the meeting with the director, my counterpart is now planning on participating. I told her before that she could not come to the clubs because if she is there the girls won’t talk openly. I really like my counterpart, but you can see how her presence at a slumber party might dampen the spirit of things. My host sisters helped with that solution, too. There are several girls whose parents won’t give them permission to stay out past eightish. The solution is that they should come, eat pizza, and then go home, and since a number of them live near my counterpart, she can go home with them. Problem solved.

I never realized how much of a feminist I am, until I came to Kyrgyzstan. Maybe it is because even though there is gender discrimination in the states, it never really personally affected me it a huge way. Here, I deal with it every day. I was talking to my counterpart yesterday and she told me that she would have to ask her husband’s permission to come to our slumber party. Not, I have to talk with him about it, but I have to ask for his permission. I was shocked, and it made me angry for her, but she didn’t have a problem with it because it is just the way things are. I hate that “the ways things are” is an excuse for inequality to continue.

I have been making an effort to spend more time with my host sisters. It has paid off in spades. They talk to me now. Really talk, openly. This is something that they can not do with any of the adults in their lives. This has lead to two new thoughts:

1. I can see the advantages of having a big family, and maybe one day might want one. I KNOW! I still can’t believe it myself. Truthfully, there are days when my little brother is being an obnoxious little demon and I return to my “never-ever having-children” stance. Haha

2. I am not sure how I feel about being a role model. My sisters and the girls’ in my club look up to me. That is a lot of responsibility. I do not think I like it. haha It makes me feel like everywhere I go I have to be on my best behavior, not only because I stick out like a sore thumb and am a Peace Corps volunteer “24-7,” but also because I don’t want to let my girls’ down. Being someone that people look up to is hard work.

We did a lesson on crocheting in our girls’ club today. The girls have been asking them to teach them to crochet since they first learned that I made one of my own scarves. Having a hobby that is borderline productive gets me so many cool points with the teaching staff. I’m not a completely useless human being, after all. Hahaha We might start a knitting circle or crocheting circle. That way, the girls and I can just get together and work on our own projects and talk. They don’t really get a chance to just hang out and talk. They pretty much just go to class, and then go home. Any chance that I get to create an open atmosphere for dialogue, I am going to take. In Kyrgyz, crochet circle translates to “cruchok crujok,” which sounds funny and makes me laugh. But lately, a lot of things have made me laugh. I guess it is the side effect of a good mood?

I just crossed over to the third page, so I will spare you the other, more random thoughts that are running through my mind.

Miss you.

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

27 January 2010

After riding the high from such a wonderful week, I guess I should have known what would happen. The emotional roller coaster. again... And trust me, the drop from such a high peak was not fun. at all. I'm back on level ground now, but the way down was a doozie. I don't really want to talk about it, but to say that I think I have truly become a part of my community. My counterpart and host family were the ones that made me laugh and helped me through my bad day. They are all tuned to my emotions in a way that is almost creepy. Haha Maybe it is because my emotions are always so clearly etched on face, who knows.

Enough about the down days. They aren't as much fun to write about. Plus, continuing with my positive thinking mantra, you are now entitled to a good thing to balance out the bad. So, I will tell you a funny anecdote (or two) (or maybe three)

1. I came home from school the other day and my host aunt was here. I joined the family for a cup of tea and my aunt said to me- "you get prettier every time I see you (roughly translated) I thought it was really sweet of her, plus it was the day that I had my hair in my newly found french braided twisty thing, and we all know the truth that Kyrgyzstan has made me way to sickly pale to be considered pretty, but I was grateful for the compliment anyway.. until she added "it is because you want to get a kyrgyz man, isn't it?" (again roughly translated) My entire family had a good laugh.

2. I went with my host mom and sisters to a different host aunts' house for a visit (not like real guesting, just a family tea) My sisters (like every other teenage girl on the planet apparently) are obsessed with Twilight. So, we watched it in Russian (again) I'm not sure if you all have seen the movie or not, but there is a part where the main character slips on ice and falls down. At this point in the movie, my normally quiet Apa pipes up and says "that's like our jessika, falling down on flat land." I've written an entire blog about falling down, so I don't really need to elaborate, but I think they are all still amused about my lack of grace. Also, according to Ata, I should stand on my head for six minutes a day, and do somersaults to improve my balance. In the words of Momma (it was 5am when we talked, so the words might not be exactly right, but the general gist was:) "and then you can break your neck instead of an ankle." haha thanks mom.

3. When we first got to Kyrgyzstan, a wise and experienced volunteer (a k-16, and now that i think about it, I've been here longer than he had been at that time haha) told us about the stages of being a volunteer:

first stage: volunteer sees a hair in food. stops eating

second stage: volunteer sees a hair in food. picks out hair. eats.

third stage: volunteer sees a hair in food. eats around the hair.

fourth stage: volunteer sees a hair in food. eats the hair with the food.

I think you all know where this is going. We had delicious pumpkin manti last saturday. On sunday we had the leftovers. As I was eating said delicious pumpkin manti, on the piece on my fork, headed to my mouth, I spotted a hair, and then I kept eating! I thought "it was only a little hair." No sooner than the thought crossed my mind, the realization of what I had just done hit me. I ate a hair. Knowingly. And I am less bothered by that fact than I know that I should be. Haha I guess we can add that to “the list of things I never thought I’d do.”

All jokes aside, being “integrated” into my community is a truly fantastic feeling. And coming from the girl who doubted if she could make it through the whole week of site visit without ETing, that is saying something. Now if I am out of my village for more than a day or two, I find myself missing it. Weird, huh? I guess it just show the adaptability of the human spirit. There are some days when I miss home in America terribly. But, my little village nestled between two mountain ranges, with snow on the ground perpetually since November, with temperamental electricity, with an abundance of meat and a lack of vegetables and with some of the most welcoming people I have ever known has become my home, and I love it.

I still miss you though.

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

p.s. what happened to January? I think I might be in some sort of time warp because time is going way to fast.

It is later now and I just wanted to add a few addendums from today:

I just got my butt kicked at UNO, playing with my host family. I gave my sisters the cards so they could play whenever they want and my oldest sister told me that they probably wouldn’t play without me. In her words “without you it isn’t interesting.” I love my host family.

Also, I fell down again just now when I went outside to dump the bucket of water that I used to wash my hair. So not only does my wrist really hurt, I also got covered in soapy water. Haha. Only me, right?

22 January 2010

This has been such a fantastic week! The sun is shining, today is warm (and that is completely relative by warm I mean maybe above freezing?) I am in a great mood and just had to share. I’ve got a break before my afternoon classes and thought I would take the time to tell you how awesome this week has been:

My director and zavuch (vice principal) observed our seventh grade class on Monday and gave us a “5” which is like an A! She loved our teaching style and said that our lesson was so good that not only the kids understood, but so did she and she does not speak English. So next week we’re starting an English Club for the teachers! Being honest, the class’ theme was “weather” which is not a hard theme to teach, so we can’t really take that much credit, but it is still cool that my director liked it.

My little brother told me I was awesome.

On Wednesday, thirty girls came to girls’ club. Today thirty three came! Today, we were talking about what problems the girls have, and what things they want; some things that they said were that they wanted an English Club, a Computer Club, a volleyball club, and a dance club. (they also mentioned some other, more serious problems and issues, but I promised I wouldn’t talk to other people about what they told me:-) So, next week we’re gonna talk about how they can get the things they want. I’m super excited Also, as I was using one of my free periods to prepare for the club, a group of boys asked if they could participate or have their own club! How awesome is that?

This week I made food-gasmic cinnamon rolls and vegetarian fried rice that was a huge hit with the family- my picky sister ate TWO helpings! I also make chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. They were good, but a little burnt because I got distracted talking to my sisters. I’ll take that trade though, bonding with my sisters for crunchy cookies. Haha

I’ve learned half the words to my favorite Kyrygz song, and I’m still practicing.

Today 100% of my students in all classes did their homework! Our rule is that the kids that don’t do their homework have to clean the floor, so today we had no one to clean the floor! I love that problem! Haha

My hair has gotten long enough that I can manage a single French braid and I did my hair in sort of a French twisty thing that looks really cute and hides the grease really well. Yay!

And I have two days in front of me filled with beautiful nothingness. Aside from washing laundry and straightening my room, I have nothing to do this weekend and it shall be lovely!

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I’m graceful. Wait, no I’m not. I’m dead clumsy. Oh no, my big secret is out! Haha seriously though, I fall down. A lot. Living in an extraordinarily cold place for the first time in my life has proven (unnecessarily) that snow, ice, and clumsy people can coexist, but it isn’t much fun for said clumsy person. My host family and counterparts and local friends, who have known me for several months, are starting to act like my family and friends that I have know for years back home. When they see me fall or hear that I fell… again… their reactions have become sort of an exasperated sigh of “again?” I guess it’s nice that my clumsiness endears me to people (loved the comment sarah elam haha) I almost fell today leaving school. That would have been embarrassing because there were about twenty kids milling around. The last time I fell at school, luckily, there was no one around. Today as a slipped and caught myself I surprised my counterpart who is one breath said “ohnoohmygodbecareful.” Haha We had a Peace Corps training last week, and I fell out of the shower… I know… who else would do that? In my own defense, I had gotten used to stepping out on the shower mat, and it wasn’t there the last time. Anyways I have a huge nasty bruise on my foot from it. When my family saw it, they asked me what happened, got the usual response of “again?’ Then my Ata told me we should have a toi so I won’t fall down. To understand this, you need some background info. Kyrgyzstan is a land of parties, or tois. One of the traditions is a toi the first time a baby walks. At the toi, they tie the baby’s feet together. Then, they have a race with all the kids, and the person who wins gets to cut the binding and the baby walks. It is a really cool tradition and people express their wished that the baby will have a clear path and good fortune and all that jazz, which literally translates to “white road” and “won’t fall down.” My Ata told me we should have this toi for me, so that I won’t fall down as much. And then he laughed hysterically at his own humour. Just like dealing with Dad back home.

It continually surprises me how everywhere I go in the world; people are essentially the same, whatever the culture. It is great! As my language improves (I got an Advanced-Mid) on my last language proficiency) I understand more of what is going on around me. I’ve started to catch the…. I don’t really know what to call it. It isn’t sarcasm, but it is similar. The little-under-the-breath-comments and off-hand remarks crack me up. They aren’t that funny, per se, but something about the fact that I can understand them makes me smile. After I came back from a week long training, but Ata and I had “the you’ll miss us when you go back” conversation for the seventeenth time. I thought that I was the only one that it irritated, but then Apa said something along the lines of “are you saying that again? You’ve only said it twenty times already” and I cracked up. It was great. Three of my sisters are teenagers, so the little snarky comments they make to each other and with each other are hilarious. It is just like how Jordan and I used to bicker… what am I saying “used to?” It isn’t serious; they’re just picking on each other and I am beginning to understand it!

I’m also working on learning some Kyrgyz songs so I have better material for tois when I am forced to sing against my will haha that and reading, well attempting to read, newspapers has helped me improve my language. I still need a lot of work, but at least I can communicate.

I’m gonna go make some lunch before I head to my next class. Yay boiled eggs.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

What a great week!

I spent the week at a PC training so I got so visit with a lot of my favorites here.

I did a polar plunge- a.k.a. jumped in the lake in the middle of january.

I made omelets last night and the kicker:

I ATE GUACAMOLE!!! I finally got my Christmas package (the post office closes for a week at new years) and my family sent me a jar of guacamole. my life is complete.

I am at the internet cafe now, so i'm gonna keep this short, but i will write again soon!

miss you

love from Kyrgyzstan,

jess

7 January 2010

I just typed November 2009 instead of January 2010. sigh… where does the time go? I’m sure I’m probably boring you all silly with such frequent blogs, but having internet in my village makes it so much easier. Nothing at all has been going on, really, and I am still writing. I wonder why that is? It is snowing today. Again. I was hoping we’d gotten past the worst of the winter weather. My family keeps telling me how warm this winter has been compared to others. I guess I’m still a southern girl at heart, because I can’t make “warm” and “snow” go together in my mind. If this is a “warm” winter, then I guess I got really lucky because to me it is cold. I shudder to think what a cold winter would be like. I thought winter would be really hard to deal with, what with staying indoors, but thus far, it has been easier than I thought. Maybe it is because it seems like there is always something going on? My family had a huge party, partly for new years, partly for Kaciet’s birthday, and all the extended family came. There were like 30 people in my house. It was overwhelming, but I managed to have a good time. For one thing, there were actually people my age. Granted, all the young women that are my age are married and have kids, but at least I wasn’t stuck in that weird gap between the ages. I had a fun time trying to get my one host aunt from Bishkek to realize that I do not speak Russian. She must have been told forty seven times by me, and the rest of my family that I speak Kyrgyz, but she lives in the city and normally only speaks Russian, so it took her a while to realize. She, along with most of the family thought that I’m fascinating, and my room turned into an exhibit. They love that I put pictures and the cards from home on my wall. I don’t get it. I really don’t think I am that interesting of a human being, but I suppose it IS kinda like being at the zoo, seeing something that you’ve never seen before haha. My aunt brought presents for the whole family for new years. I got a really pretty necklace, and some lipstick. It is actually a color that I will wear, which is surprising coming from someone who had never met me. That ought to make momma happy, since she’s only been telling me that I need more color since, oh, let me think, the first time I ever wore makeup. Haha Speaking of makeup, I’m starting my girls’ club tomorrow with a party. We’re gonna do makeovers and do all the girly slumber party type stuff, minus the slumber party. It will be weird for me helping the girls with makeup, since I’m no expert myself, but Heidi is coming up for a visit, and is gonna help out. I wanted to do manicures and stuff, too, but that will have to wait for another time because we don’t have a whole lot of time tomorrow afternoon for the party. I’ve realized that the condition of my nails corresponds to my mood. When I’m in a bad mood, giving myself a manicure perks me up (I know! I am such a girl…) and when I’m in a good mood, my nails are much more likely to look ragged. Weird, huh? Well, Heidi is coming back with me from the city tomorrow, so I’ve got to straighten up my room so Apa won’t flip out haha (just like being at home). I know. This blog was such a waste haha. I figured I should share my nothing-going-ons with you.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

Hearing the “I think I might be sick tomorrow” excuse from one of my favorite smart ass students

Hearing the Kyrgyz equivalent of the “it’s clean, but is it mama clean?” question (at least it wasn’t directed at me haha

Hearing my absolute favorite line in a Kyrgyz new year’s toast (and I heard a bunch of toasts) here goes: “may all your daughters get married”

Giving my host siblings their crocheted scarves (the youngest three wore theirs all day)

Going to the village new year’s party- although, I think this deserves a paragraph to talk about instead of a bullet. I really wanted to go to this party, after all, I didn’t go home to America for the holidays so I could be here to celebrate, but I didn’t want to go by myself because the whole walking-alone-at-dark-thing is highly discouraged. My host sisters and I have been bonding and we conspired that I should ask the parents if they could go with me, because they’ve never been allowed to go. I asked. Ata was wavering and Apa said “no,” which sucked. The girls were kinda upset. I was too. Their reasons for not giving permission were uber frustrating (partly because I heard it growing up, too) My host dad is kinda a big deal in the village and Apa thought that if the girls went, they’d be what translated to the Kyrgyz equivalent of “easy girls” and it would reflect poorly on my host dad because people would think he wasn’t strict and yadayadayada. How many times did I get the “your behavior reflects on me speech?” Yeah, it still sucks haha. So the girls couldn’t go, and I resigned myself to not going to because I didn’t want to go alone. Then, one of my favorite 11th grade students (who is more like a friend than a students, because we’re like three or four years apart) came and asked if I wanted to come guesting at her house, so I did. I went and had chai and stuff with her family, and then we went to the New Year’s party. I think my host parents were a little overly strict because the majority of my 8th-11th graders were there, not to mention families with toddlers. Sure, there was a drunk guy or two, but you can encounter that just walking down the street… Anyways, I danced a bunch (I’m going to come home and wow you all with hitherto unsuspected dance skills haha) and met a bunch of kids who would’ve been my 11th grade students, but quit after 9th grade. We also played a bunch of games. I got dragged into playing tug-of-war and ended up on a team with my students against my teachers because they divide it by birth year, and I’m closer in age to my students than my co-workers (that is still weird to me) --Also, a side note on the birth year thing- often, instead of getting asked how old I am, I get asked what my year is. Since I’m 1988, as of January 1, I can start saying that I am twenty two because I will turn twenty two this year, even if it isn’t for another eight months. I think I’m gonna stick with twenty one, though. I’ve only just started answering twenty one instead of twenty. Time bewilders me here. I was still writing October in December. This 2010 switch is gonna throw me off until at least March. Sigh.)

I went back to my student’s house and we celebrated the countdown with sips of champagne and fireworks. I love fireworks. At midnight, what seemed like every single family in the village set off fireworks (I was much to close to exploding things for my comfort, but still had a great time) I felt like Jordan, or any other ADD kid haha, 360 degrees of sparkly, shiny things going off in every direction had my head spinning. I got home a little after 12. Apa was asleep, and Ata was watching T.V. It was just like being in America, haha. And that pretty much sums up new years, because I did absolutely nothing on new years day.

Today, I helped make borsok and just spent an hour cleaning the floor of my room. You know those little car “vacuums,” that are really just rolling lint brushes that you attempt to use for ten minutes before realizing that they don’t work, giving up, and paying the fifty cents to use the powerful sucker vac at the car wash? Yeah, that is what I use to clean my floor, without the fifty cent cop out option. We have an actual vacuum cleaner, but just take my word for it that the hand held non-powered option is easier.

Now I think I’m going to go wash my hair, because I’m going to be put on exhibit tonight and tomorrow, a.k.a. we have guests coming, and I’m pretty sure our weekly banya is not going to happen because of the aforementioned guests.

Miss you

Wishing you all the best in the new year,

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

29 December 2009

I think I should get to say that again. FORTY Kilograms of flour! Do you know how much bread that makes? Don’t worry. I’m gonna tell you. Forty kilos of flour makes a freakin’ ton of bread. My host uncle got married. The way that it works here is that the groom’s parents, or in this case, siblings, go to the bride’s family and give earrings and ask for her to marry him and all that jazz. At the girl’s parent’s house, they have a big party. Then, they take the girl to the boy’s house where all of his family has big party. Yesterday all of this happened. I got to help with the preparations for the family bringing the new bride home. We went to my host aunt’s house at about fiveish and there were a bunch of women making borsok (the little fried bread things). I helped my host sisters fill cups with varenya (like jam/jelly), sugar, sugar cubes, sary mai (this oil/butter stuff that we all agreed that we hate haha), and then we put it out on the tables with the mounds of borsok, and meat jello, and salads. It was really great helping my host sisters. We’ve gotten a lot closer lately and we sorta bonded (especially with the sary mai stuff. All of my host sisters hate it, so I don’t feel bad saying that I hate it, too haha) I found out that my oldest two host sisters want to quit school after 9th form and go to the early university thing, but if the oldest goes, the second oldest can’t. I think it is totally unfair, but that’s the way it goes, I guess. I also talked a lot with Aidana, my second oldest sister. Her best friend just left to live with her Grandmother in Russia, so she’s kinda depressed. She’s in the eighth form and almost all of the other girls in her class (all 5 of them) are planning on quitting school after ninth form and if Nurzada (the oldest sister) quits then she won’t be able too. She’s got a lot on her mind right now. And she actually talked to me about it, which was cool. She got kinda frustrated because she is in the Russian class and her best friend is Russian, so she hardly ever speaks Kyrgyz and it is really hard for us to talk. But we made it work. Anyways, I guess that is enough of the family news. Back to the wedding stuff- We found out at 5:30ish that they wouldn’t arrive with the kalyn (that’s the Kyrgyz word for new wife/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law) until midnight! But, we had a lot of stuff to do, so it worked out okay. At first the edjes (older women- it is pronounced A-J) wanted me to sit and not really help with anything, but I couldn’t just sit and watch them all work and not help. At least not if it is cooking stuff, which I do not get to do often enough here. We made enough borsok to cover the floor of a medium sized room. And I am not exaggerating. We literally laid out a table cloth on the floor and covered it with borsok. Then we made rolls, which involves taking lumps of dough, rolling it out and then twisting it into pretty shapes. I’ve helped my Apa make this bread before so I knew how to do it which I think surprised the edjes. The whole concept of the edjes being there was fascinating to me. Imagine sending your child to your neighbor’s house and saying that your son or nephew or whoever is getting married and you need help to prepare for it. And having her come over, and bring her oven to help! And then imagine doing that to three or four neighbors and having them all come. Even in very small towns in America I feel that might be stretching the bounds of the typical neighbor relationship. Here it wasn’t even a big deal. I mean the forty kilos of flour worth of bread was a big deal haha, but you wouldn’t even think twice about asking for help like that. It is one of the things that I really like about Kyrgyzstan, and then sometimes it is a bit frustrating because there is absolutely no such thing as privacy. Last night I felt like I belong here. I got to make bread and talk to edjes, and it turns out I teach ALL of their children. And while my Kyrgyz is not that great, we were actually able to have a conversation. We talked about how marriages are different in America because it is all about the bride and groom, whereas in Kyrgyzstan, it is all about the family. As we were talking, I realized how much my entire village came together about me being here. One lady, who isn’t from our village asked me how much money I make, which is a typical get-to-know-you question here, and before I could explain, another lady jumped in and told her not to ask me questions like that because in America we don’t talk about salary. That incident taught me several things in the space of about thirty seconds- one- my Kyrgyz was good enough to understand what both women said, which was AWESOME – two- I’ve gotten used to being asked questions like that and it didn’t bother me in the least –three- my entire village must have discussed volunteer stuff before I got here, how else would a woman who I had just met know to say that it might make me uncomfortable to talk about salary? There is definitely something to be said about being wanted. Haha Being the only one of something in my village is hard to describe. One of the edjes and I talked and it turns out that her son tells her pretty much everything that I do at school. It is like being on exhibit at a zoo. Everything I do is remarkable, even when it is the same exact thing that everyone else is doing. It can wear on your nerves, believe me. I have long since realized that I will never be fully integrated. I could live here for 20 years and no matter what I do, I will never be Kyrgyz. I am totally okay with that, because I won’t be here for twenty years. It does, however, get frustrating when I do try to integrate a little bit further. For example, I get flustered by always being made to sit near the head of the table, which is the honorable spot. For one, all the really old ladies sit there, and I have less in common with them and find them harder to understand, also, I just don’t think I deserve it. I understood it better when I was new here, and I guess that is the key point. I don’t think I’m new anymore, and everyone else does. I just don’t think I should sit higher up at the table than my host mom or my counterpart. I am the youngest member on our teaching staff but sit above older teachers at the teachers’ parties, and at family parties I have to sit up higher too. Yesterday as we were preparing for the party I realized what an anomaly I am here, and not because I’m an American, either. There were a ton of women and girls there yesterday. I am twenty one, the next oldest was twenty six or seven, and the next youngest was 16. I’m right in the middle. Most women my age here are either married or studying at university or working in a bigger city. There are not a lot of single women my age in our village, and it makes it a bit harder to fit in. After most of the prep work was done, I alternated between the kids and adults. The women got to talking really fast and it was hard to understand so I went and played with the kids. Arsen, who is something like my host second cousin, is almost two and really attached to his granny who was at the new bride’s house, so I ended up holding him for a long while and rocking him to sleep. It was very therapeutic for me. I really really miss Camden, and holding babies here makes it a bit easier. I have two host cousins, Arsen, who is almost two, and Ademae, who is almost one. So I get to play with babies often enough. Yesterday there were also three three-year olds, which was quite interesting. Take three toddlers, all of whom are rarely disciplined because they don’t really start telling them “no” until they are like four or five, add obscene amounts of candy and sugar, and lock them in a room for a few hours. Needless to say, there was a fair amount of waterworks, but for the most part they were really cute. I have a host cousin, Zarina who is a bit younger that Azeez, my host brother, and the child hasn’t a shy bone in her entire body. She’s really cute and outgoing. She will play with me, and I think it has helped Azeez warm up to me, too. Kyrgyzstan has scared the bejeezus out of me because I realized yesterday that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to have a big family. I KNOW! ME!?! The sworn-never-having-children-girl!!! It was so cool to watch the interaction of the kids last night. There were – 1 9th, 8th, and 6th grade girls- one 7th grade boy, two 3rd grade girls, one 2nd grade girl, three three year olds, and an almost-two year old. It was quite noisy, but they all had a ton of fun. The 7th grade boy was a total sweetheart. How many 7th grade boys do you know that would actually play with three year olds for hours, and share the babysitter role with the older girls as the took turns helping the adults? It was cool.

I just realized I’m on the third page and haven’t mentioned all the traditions of the wedding, or the fact that I finally came home with Nurzada at one am last night because my contacts were unbearably dry, and the rest of the family didn’t get home til 2:30 or the fact that the party continues today for the entire village, or all the new years parties for the students at school. I’m rambling today. For your sake, I think I will call it quits here and write another blog later.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

20 December 2009

The Hamburger Adventure:

I am exhausted. So much for Sunday being my day of rest. Haha I spent the last six hours making hamburgers for my family, a meal that I won’t even eat. Background info: My family, along with my two host aunts’ families bought a cow…. And then killed it. As I was sitting around with my family as they prepared the meat to freeze/whatever they do with it, they thought it was really cool when I explained that in America, my family does the same thing, the buying a cow and splitting up all the meat thing… not the salting it and put it in huge buckets around the house thing. We got to talking about American food and about “gamburgers” which are the Kyrgyz equivalent of hamburgers that you can buy in the cities. I explained that the burgers in Karakol aren’t really the same as American burgers, because they don’t use ground beef and make a pattie. So, somehow I ended up volunteering to make hamburgers for my family. So that is the background info. I started off this afternoon by making Watergate salad from the stuff that momma sent in the package. I feel like I nearly broke my wrist whipping up the dream whip, which is much harder to do by hand btw, but it was a HUGE hit. My whole family loved it. So for the burgers, first we made bread for the rolls. Then, we started making burgers. Our electric meat grinder is broken, so we used my aunt’s hand crank meat grinder to make ground beef. Well, we TRIED to use it, but the blade was messed up and we were able to ground about two patties worth before we called it quits. I spent the next two hours or so with my sisters cutting up a hunk of meat into small enough pieces to resemble ground meat. And you all know how much I love touching meat. (I’m not sure if the sarcasm translates here haha) We made the patties, then started cutting up potatoes for French fries, because who can have a good ol’ fashioned burger without fries? Right? I should mention here that we only have one burner. So, for the sake of time, we decided to cook the burgers in the oven, and the fries on the burner. Oh, and I made cole slaw because I figured I needed to eat something, too. haha There were like 10 people eating, with my family, and the contractors who are living with us. My littlest sister told me as we sat down to eat that we started cooking at one, and ate at seven. What a day. And all that for hamburgers that I don’t eat. Haha. It is funny because as I was making Watergate salad this morning, Apa commented on how fast American food can be made. I told her it was faster because we bought everything and just prepared it as opposed to making it from scratch. After making bread, grinding meat, cutting potatoes, and making cole slaw all from hand… I want to retract that statement. Haha

Almost every time I make food in this country it turns into an adventure. I’m never really sure if they like it, but I have received a request from my host uncle to make another carrot cake for new years, so I guess that they like it.

Miss you,

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I hope you are all having a wonderful, fun and food and family filled holiday.

Miss you all tons!

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

I didn't have time to post the last blog on wednesday, like i had hoped, so I posted it today. I got TWO amazing packages from home, and can't even put into words the awesomeness of them. I'm heading to a friend's village to celebrate Haunakkah(I'm sorry if I spelled that wrong, I can never seem to get it right.) Today has been weird. First, I rode in a car with dice hanging from the mirror on the way here. Second,when I got in, Ace of Base was playing on the radio. Third, I got out at the bazaar and a taxi driver flagged me down because I left my wallet in his car LAST WEEKEND. I only had about 20 som in it and truthfully, I hadn't even realized that I had lost it, but the man kept if for me for a week! Life is just full of strange and wonderful surprises, and I love it.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

15 December 2009

What a week and it has been. And it is only Tuesday. Sigh. Actually I will post this tomorrow, when I go to the city, which I guess makes it Wednesday. I am doing a mid-week city trip for a few different reasons. One, Katie told me that I have a package! I’m super excited. I don’t know which package it’ll be because I am expecting several, but this will be one of those rare occasions when I won’t mind a surprise. Two, I have to buy more yarn. I’m crocheting a blanket. I finally just finished making 35 10X10 inch squares. My host sisters and host mom helped me to arrange them tonight into a design. We spread them all out on the living room floor. I need more yarn to put all the pieces together. It’ll be my first big project, and I’ll get to cross “crochet or knit a blanket” off of THE LIST. Three, I’ll get to post this blog, and hopefully read some emails.

I guess I should explain the “what a week” comment. Let’s see. Sunday, I washed laundry. You remember how I said a while ago that I would never let laundry go more than three weeks? I lied. Again. Big time. I washed clothes before I went to Bishkek for training. As a recap- that was the second week of November. And I haven’t washed clothes since then. Sigh. I tried, believe me, I did! But between the snow and my house being under construction it just hasn’t worked out. And, in addition to having six weeks of accumulated laundry, the washing machine didn’t work. So I had to wash and rinse all of it by hand. It took FOREVER. And for those of you who have never done laundry outside in freezing temperatures- it is about as much fun as it sounds. And, I don’t think my clothes hanging on the line will ever dry. My shirts literally have icicles hanging off them. I brought in a pair of jeans to hang inside and could hold them by the belt loops and have them stand out completely parallel to the ground. I took pictures because it cracked me up.

Yesterday I woke up and then got sick. I don’t know what was up. I luckily made it outside. Luckily, because cleaning sick up off the carpet is a pain in the butt here. I didn’t go to my only class, and slept for a really long time. I guess it was something I ate. Maybe the homemade cheese? I dunno, but it came and went in about four hours, they were just a miserable couple of hours.

Today was a rough day at school. I started at 8 and finished at 5:45. Even my counterpart said that today was a hard day. My good classes were being bad too. We did have a breakthrough though, with the homework issue. We had about an 85% homework completion rate before we missed about a month of school. But they are slipping back into their old habits. We combined the not-doing-homework-thing with the we-don’t-have-a-class-in-our-room-to-be-responsible-for-cleaning-it-thing into a new rule. We have a rotating schedule, and whoever doesn’t do their homework in the day’s scheduled class has to clean the room. It works out well.

In other new from the past week:

I ran out of peanut butter (sad face)

I did not get a banya (sadder face)

I finally figured out the perfect ratio of cocoa powder, powdered milk, and sugar to make a good hot chocolate mix. (happy face)

I watched The Boondock Saints every. single. day,. at least it is a good movie. (background- I usually end my day by watching a movie in bed until I fall asleep or the power goes out. I copy one movie at a time from my external to my desktop so I don’t have to keep my external plugged in, and I haven’t felt like walking all the way across my room to get my external to plug in to get a new movie this week.) I think I can just about quote the entire movie now. haha (“we’re kinda like seven eleven. We may not always be doing business, but we’re always open.”)

Well, I’m probably gonna go attempt to heat up some water so I can wash up before the electricity goes out.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

10 December 2009

So, when this southern girl, who has had snow above her ankles maybe three times in her life, and who is perfectly okay with that fact, starts getting happy when it snows because days that snow are warmer; you know she is in the middle of a Kyrgyz winter. Okay, enough with the third person. Basically, what I am trying to say is that it is cold. Technically, I can use the adjective freezing now, without exaggerating. And it is true, the days that snow are warmer, sometimes it is too cold to snow according to Ata, a fact which completely blows my mind. So, yes, winter has arrived with full force here in lovely issyk kul oblast. Since there has been snow on the ground since the first or second week of November and since I’ve already slipped on ice you may feel that I am a bit late with this announcement. It really feels like winter though now. I’ve busted out my tall furry boots, and have managed to not fall in my village yet. I am not going to bother doing the whole “knock-on-wood” thing because I know falling is inevitable, especially with the roads here. Today the roads consist of snow, or packed snow/ice. My winter footwear is serving me pretty well, although I must admit that I do have a bit of a dilemma. My winter boots have pretty good grips on them, which makes walking in snow a bit easier, but the problem with the grips is that the snow gets packed in them and then as soon as a step into school, the packed snow on the bottom turns them into ice skates, and we all know how well I handle myself on ice. The Peace Corps gave all the volunteers Yak Trax, which are these little grippers we put on our shoes to walk better. I don’t really need them for snow, but on packed snow and ice they are life savers. The same problem arises though. On tile floors, they are quite slippery. So, the question becomes- am I going to bite it hard outside my school or inside my school? I’ll let you know when it happens. I am getting a bit tired of wearing the same pair of shoes, but I’ve given up variety for functionality. At least they are functional and cute! Haha Who’d have thought I could talk this long about shoes. Actually, anyone who knows me would know that I could talk for this long about shoes haha. I’ve covered the weather and shoe aspects of winter; let’s move on to the holidays. I’m holding a Christmas Eve Concert and am super excited about it. I spent this week teaching my students Christmas Carols. Yes, I know. Me? The girl who can’t carry a tune in a bucket- teaching someone else a song? Go figure. But, it has perked my spirits up. Having kids walking through the halls singing or humming “let it snow” and “fa la la la la la la la la” makes me really happy. It really puts me in the Christmas spirit. I’m preparing myself for the first Christmas away from home to be really hard, but the more I do to make it seem like Christmas, the closer I feel to home. I think the volunteers close to me might come out for the concert, and then, if I can finagle it, I’m going to spend Christmas Eve night in the city, so I can be with other Americans on Christmas. It is technically a work day, but it is a holiday for me, and it will be exam week anyway, so I’m not going to miss much. I have promised my community that I will be here for the New Years’ Holiday (which is why I am not coming home) and I think we are all pretty excited for me to take part in all the traditions, but for once I can do both- Christmas with Americans and New Years with my host family. I am also going to try to go with one of my Russian teachers to the Orthodox Church for their Christmas services. I’m not sure yet how to work that out, but I have faith that I can make it happen.

Let’s see. What other news? Oh yeah! I went skiing. And by skiing, I mean attempting to ski and basically spending an entire day falling down a mountain. My muscles were sore for days and I keep finding bruises. It was fun. More graceful people probably would’ve had their pride hurt from falling down so much. Haha it didn’t affect me, though, seeing as how I am used to it. I made it down the easiest slope two and half times. The third time, I managed to hit myself in the head with my own ski pole, and decided that was a sign that I should call it a day. I think I walked down quicker than I would’ve skied down anyway. haha I am not very good at skiing, but I will probably go back. For one thing, the view is absolutely gorgeous! (I might try to post pictures) I won’t be able to go often because it is expensive. (by my standards) We added it up, and for transportation, rentals, the ski lift fee, and lunch, we spent about 30 dollars, which is crazy cheap for your average tourist. It was a great day. I was actually planning on not even going into the city, but met up with my site mate, Mike, and he basically guilted me into going. Between going out dancing on Friday night, skiing on Sunday, and walking the 5km to my village (in the snow) on Monday morning, my legs had their best workout in country. Haha It was a great weekend.

I just came back from my pre-bed outhouse trip, and feel that I must describe the experience. Outhouses can be dangerous in the best of times. Add a layer of packed snow on top of the foot grips, and it is very scary. I try very hard not to lose my balance. I think I’d rather fall in front of all my students every day all winter than fall in the outhouse once.

I’m gonna wrap it up for now.

Miss you

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

Okay, school isn't really out, but all the schools in my rayon are under quarantine until December 7th!! So, I have a week of no classes. Which means, that for the entire month of Noveber, I will teach a combined total of six classes. And, when I normally teach 18 hours a week, that's quite a drop. The first week was vacation, second week was IST, last week, we only went Monday through Wednesday, and attendance was so low that half the classes were cancelled, and Tuesday starts December. Can I just take a minute to repeat that- Tuesday is December First! December will be my ninth month in country. Nine months is one-third of the way through my Peace Corps Service! If it weren't for the cold and snow, i'd find it hard to believe that it is already December. The second quarter ends the 30th, and the week before that is exam week, which means that I have three weeks, or six classes until tests. For some of my students, these will be the only six English Classes they will have had the entire second quarter. Writing tests is going to be even trickier this quarter. sigh.

oh well. enough school news. how about holiday news? A group of volunteers got together last night to celebrate thanksgiving. We had a great time. We had stuffing, mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, carrots, scalloped potatoes, coleslaw, and i'm sure i'm forgetting a ton of other stuff. we all ate ourselves silly, and it made me feel not quite so far from home. good times.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

Miss you tons

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

So about this time, a bunch of people in America will be getting invitations from the Peace Corps to serve the Kyrgyz Republic for two years. I did not get my invitation until January, but a good portion of my group got theirs in November. This group of people will be the K-18s, or the 18th group of people to come to Kyrgyzstan with the Peace Corps.

I don’t know if the K-18s will be like the K-17s, but if they are, most of them will be pouring over all the information that they can get about Kyrgyzstan, google searching, wikipedia-ing, reading blogs of current and past volunteers, and in general, just maintaining a low grade freak out about getting ready for the trip. At least, that’s what I did.

I found a bunch of really useful information in previous volunteers’ blogs, so I figured I’d pay it forward and give my two cents for the next group, if they want it. If not, oh well, it’ll be fun to write it anyway. Especially since I’m less than a year in right now, and who know how my thoughts will change over the next two years.

I. Packing

The first thing- you will over pack. I almost guarantee it. Heading out to the unknown makes us want to be prepared for every possible thing. It is understandable. So, I’m gonna make a little list of things that I wish I would have done differently.

Things I Didn’t Think I’d Need, But Brought Anyway and Am REALLY Glad I Did:

-headlamp- nighttime trips to the outhouse make it indispensable. You can get a cheap one for less that twenty bucks, and they take up very little space.

-leatherman/pocket knife- so incredibly useful! I never used one in the states, but here, I’ve used it for everything from opening cans to boxes to fixing furniture

-computer and external hard-drive full of movies- I have NO idea what I’d do in my spare time if I didn’t have them. I have more spare time in Kyrgyzstan that I ever had in the states and there is only so much knitting, reading, walking, and talking one can do, plus it is a great way to bond with other volunteers, doing movie swaps. Plus the volunteers that are here will love you for bringing new stuff.

-A lot of shoes haha I’m a shoe fan in the states, so I went a little overboard anyway, but almost everyone in my training village walked through at least one pair of shoes during the first two months, the roads here are just harder on shoes.

Things I Didn’t Bring and Wish I Did:

-Books- I only brought one and that lasted about two and a half days.

-More than one electric converter plug adapter (also, three prong to two prong converter) I also spend about fifty bucks getting the super-duper wattage/voltage converter thingamajiggy, and I have only used it once. I just use the plug adapters, and I haven’t fried anything yet. *knock on wood* You can buy the converters here, but I would recommend getting better quality ones in the US.

-Maps and pictures of US scenes

Things I Brought and Wish I Hadn’t

-An umbrella- it did rain a lot here during PST, but you can buy umbrellas here

-Toiletries: seriously, don’t waste space in your luggage. Bring no more than a travel size of anything, because you can get it here. The PCMO will give the women all the feminine products you need, so don’t fill your bad full of three months’ supply of tampax. Not necessary. You also don’t need a spare tooth brush, you don’t need three months supplies of anything. Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, mouthwash, soap… they use it here, too. The only exceptions I would list would be saline solution for contacts, baby powder ( it is here, but a little more difficult to find, and you will use it here, even if you don’t in the states), and razor blades. You can find razor blades and shaving cream here, but they’re a little pricey for Peace Corps budgets.

-Too many clothes- pack what you think you need, and then cut it in half, then cut it in half again, then cut it in half again, then you’ve got the right amount. Haha I seriously overpacked. I have clothes here that I haven’t worn yet.

-A few other things: in my personal opinion, if you are thinking about bringing any white clothing items, don’t. One, you’re probably overpacked anyways, and two it is very difficult to keep anything white here. Also, other volunteers will tell you to bring school supplies, but I think it is completely unnecessary. You will hear that the quality of the school supplies here is poor, but really, how much quality do you need when it comes to pens? You can get a decent pen here for about 5 som, which is reasonable, and I’ve been able to find decent notebooks, white board markers, pens, scissors, and a stapler here with no trouble. Personally, I wouldn’t waste the space and weight of heavy school supplies items, but that is just me.

Enough about packing

II Culture

The culture of Kyrgyzstan is really interesting. A few things seem strange, but in general, people here, are just like people in America. They might eat a little bit more meat, and drink a lot more tea, but that is not a big deal. The Peace Corps stresses the drinking aspect of the culture a little bit too much in my opinion. During PST, we had a LOT of sessions about how to deal with the pressure to drink, but most of the volunteers I have talked to haven’t had a big problem dealing with it. The aspect of the culture that gets to me the most is gender inequality. Bride kidnapping, the Kalen system, discrepancies in opportunities for boys and girls, and those sorts of things can be hard to deal with at times. These problems exist everywhere in the world, even in the states, and are much worse in other places than in Kyrgyzstan, but as volunteers we are given a great opportunity to help start small changes in the way that people think about the issues, or even get people to start thinking about them at all. We’re not supposed to be critical of local customs, and I hope I haven’t come off sounding harsh about anything, I am not judging, just letting you know that these issues are here.

III The Job.

I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but when I got my invitation to teach English, I not only thought, but knew that I was immensely under qualified. What makes me capable of teaching English? The fact that I can speak it? Whew. The Peace Corps gave us a lot of training about how to teach during PST, and there are still days when I walk into the classroom feeling like I have no idea what is going on. A lot of my teaching job is trial and error, but thus far, my counterpart and students have been really open and I think they are enjoying all the trials because the teaching style that we are taught is nothing like they have ever experienced before. You learn not to stress too much about the job. At least I have. Maybe I’m just a slacker volunteer. I teach eighteen hours a week and do clubs. Holo, another volunteer is designing an entire curriculum program for his school, and Joy does about ninety gajillion things a week at her university, it seems. You will be able to put forth as much effort as you want. Not everything you want to do will be easy to accomplish, but you can work hard all the time and go ninety miles a minute for two years, or you can take a more relaxed pace, like me. Haha

It is not only the TEFL volunteers who have doubts about their qualifications. We’ve got IR majors teaching health, and I’m sure the SOCD volunteers have moments when they have no idea what they’re doing, but we’re all lost together, haha.

IV The PC life

Granted I’ve only been here for seven months or so, but the PC life has been pretty okay. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be the Peace Corps. I’ve had my ups and downs in country, from breaking down into tears and bawling my eyes out at dinner my first night with my host family during site visit, leaving my bags packed at site visit to make it easier to leave since I thought about E.T.ing, cracking up from slipping on ice and busting my butt, going through the end of the honeymoon phase and hating everything about Kyrgyzstan and the Peace Corps for a solid week, to having a fantastic time guesting with my teaching staff and enjoying beautiful summer days swimming in Issyk kul… the ups and downs are what make the experience. If you can’t handle emotional ups and downs, or aren’t patient, or don’t care, you wouldn’t have made it this far in the application process to get an invitation to come here.

I have no idea if anything I said helps, for all I know I might have just confused you even more than you already were. If you have any questions at all, feel free to email or facebook me.

I can’t wait for you all to get here!

See you soon!

Jess

20 November 2009 Part Two

I know what you’re thinking. “Part Two? But Jess, you wrote four pages this morning! What more could you possibly have to say?”

I just got back from guesting and figured I should write about it because it was quite an event. I went with both of my host parents and most of the teaching staff was there too. I’ve gone guesting with my Apa and my teachers and with my Apa and Ata to family parties, but never my Apa, Ata, and my teachers. My teaching staff knows me pretty well. They don’t pressure me to drink, or sing, or take part in anything that I don’t want to do. My Ata knows that I don’t drink, but he made me sing! He told me it was a Kyrgyz ritual and told me that it’d be ooyat (shameful) if I didn’t sing. So, I sang the first thing that popped into my mind. Unfortunately, I spent the intervening hours between writing my first blog and going guesting watching Rent… and the first thing to pop into my head was the opening number, seasons of love. I butchered it and forgot most of the words, but it did sing. And now, my teaching staff will probably never ask me to sing for the next year and a half. Thank goodness! Now they believe me when I say that I can’t sing. haha We had the traditional besh barmak dish, as always, my Ata wanted me to try a bit of horse meat, and I respectfully declined. It is funny to me; my teaching staff knows me so well! When they pass around the kidneys, chunks of fat, and intestine, they don’t even offer it to me. One teacher will put a piece on my plate with the noodles (or rice) and the huge chunk of meat that I won’t eat, and then pass the bowl to the teacher on the other side of me. I think that they just know that I don’t want to touch it. And then, as everyone is packing up their leftovers, someone will inevitably hand mine to Apa. Again, I think they know that touching the greasy meat is not something that I want to do. Tonight we also had bozo, or rather they had bozo. I respectfully oostied, or tasted it. It tastes like someone poured vodka on bread, and then liquefied it. That is the best description I can give.

It is no wonder to me that illnesses spread so quickly here. All the communal food sharing, and glass sharing has got to be a catalyst for the spread of disease. Although if I stick to my college adage that alcohol is a disinfectant, that could explain why some of my teachers don’t get sick.

As we were eating the besh barmak, the teachers played a singing game. There are two teams. One team will sing a verse and the other team has to sing another verse of a song starting with the letter that the last team finished on. One team finished a song with the letter X which sounds like H and there are few songs that being with that letter, so my counterpart struck up a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday. It was cute.

As we all left, one of the male teachers, who I have gotten to be friendly with helped me down the stairs, as it so happens, he is the only male teacher who is not married. One of the other teachers said “I love you” and teased him. It sparked a conversation in which he said that he was going to “take” me, because the Kyrgyz translation of “get married” for men is simple “take a woman.” Well, woman and wife are the same word in Kyrgyz. And all the other teachers remarked on what a good idea this is. Sigh. Something similar has happened at every single toi (party) that I’ve been to in Kyrgyzstan, and I’m not expecting it to stop, which means I guess that I’m getting used to it.

Well I guess that just about sums it up. I’m debating whether I want to go to the city tomorrow, or wait until next Wednesday. I guess we’ll see how I feel in the morning, and when I wake up.

Miss you still

Love from Kyrgyzstan!

Jess

20 November 2009

It is Friday morning and I am not at school. “But Jess, it is Friday morning, you have class. Why aren’t you at school?” You might ask. The answer would be that I didn’t have to go today. Normal classes are suspended and students are doing what is called control work. I don’t really understand it, but basically all the students have to take 5question tests in a multitude of different subjects. And my counterpart told me that I didn’t have to come if I didn’t want to because I wasn’t needed. So, I elected to stay home and write this blog. Haha I promised that this blog would be more upbeat and I think I will be able to accomplish that because I’m in a bit of a better mood. I made a conscious decision to be happier. Not happy, but “happier” It is almost impossible to just will myself to be happy, because so many of the things that make me unhappy are beyond my control, BUT! happIER, I can manage. It is just making myself focus more on the good than the bad and giving myself what momma told me I need for about five years: an attitude adjustment. Haha So, in an effort to keep my mind on the positive, I used my newly-acquired-and-copied-from-katie-hobby-of-cutting-out-magazine-letters-to-make-pretty-stuff (that is said with one breath. Haha) to make a sign for my room. It is entitled “the good stuff” and since I’ve created the self rule that for every negative thought I have, I have to think two positive thoughts, I am writing the good thoughts and sticking them to the sign. Pretty good, right? So, I’m gonna share a few of the good thoughts. And since I have A LOT of time today, this blog might get a little lengthy. My apologies in advance. Here we go- the good stuff:

1) I have my own English room. Most volunteers do not. The renovations should be finished by Monday and I will be able to start having classes in it. Which also means that: I get to have and use visual aids, I get to use a white board instead of chalk, and have more control over my environment.

2) My students like me and I like them. A few examples: I cracked up in front of my 11th grade class. (Background: My counterpart and I divided up classes on Wednesday because several of the teachers are out sick and if we taught the classes separately everyone would be able to go home sooner. I was teaching them formal introductions- not because it is useful in any way, but because we got new little English pamphlets from the rayon government that we have to use.) I was doing a demo conversation practice with one of my 11th grade boys. He is a good student, but also can be a smart-alek class clown, which is awesome in my opinion. Anyways, we were just doing the basics. You know- what is your name, how are you, etc. Then, he pulls out of his repertoire, “how old are you?’ and “can I have your telephone number.” I have NO idea where he learned that, because most of the other students didn’t know what he said, but needless to say, I was not expecting that, and it cracked me up, partly because of the way he said it and partly because I had a flash back to the “can I have yo number? Can I have it?”. In a couple of seconds, the entire class was laughing. It was a great class. Another example, one of my ninth grade girls, who is friends with one of my host sisters and is at my house a lot, came to me yesterday and asked me for a favor. She brought me a few balls of yarn and asked if I could make a scarf for her. I was more than willing to, but was curious because her mother crochets really well. I asked her why she wasn’t asking her mother to do it. Apparently, she has a crush on a boy and his birthday is next week and she wants to give him a scarf. She couldn’t ask her mother because her mother would want to know who it was for. It was the cutest thing, it still makes me giggle, but she was very concerned with secrecy. She made me promise not to tell her mom or my counterpart or anyone. It made me really happy. Even though it is a small thing, it tells me that there is a growing bond of trust with my students. One final example- I was teaching my ninth grade B class, which if you remember is the one that I had been having a little trouble with. Toward the end of the lesson, when the students were working in pairs creating a dialogue, I caught one of the boys passing a note. I wouldn’t have done anything because he wasn’t really disturbing anyone, but he caught me looking at him and got a “oh no she saw me” look on his face so I asked him for the note, because I was curious. He didn’t want to give it to me, and we ended up having a conversation about why he didn’t want to give it to me, during which time he succeeded in tearing the note into little pieces. It didn’t really bother me, and I’m sure it would’ve bothered a lot of the local teachers, who probably would’ve punished him. Me, on the other hand, just gave him floor cleaning duty for the day. Every day the students have to mop the floor in their classrooms and it rotates every day, but usually the girls do it. I told him that since he made a mess on the floor, he had to clean it. I think the students were surprised, but we all ended up having a good laugh at it and I think they all thought it was a good punishment. So, my students and I are getting along. I also added the sixth grade classes to my schedule and they are a new dynamic, so we’ll see how that goes. I haven’t been able to teach them yet because attendance has been around 3 students in class since everyone is sick.

Let’s see… what else is on my good stuff list…

3) I haven’t peed on my foot in the outhouse in months. Oh! This is kind of unrelated and kind of related. I am trying to figure out how growing up with one sister, we fought over the bathroom in the mornings all the way through school, but now that I have four sisters, I’ve only had to wait for the bathroom twice since June. Granted, the bathroom is the outhouse, so obviously no one is brushing their teeth or doing makeup out there, but we also have our indoor wash room with sink and mirror and I’ve never had to wait to use that either… curious, very curious.

4) My newly dyed hair (did I mention that I dyed my hair?- it is now “chocolate brown”) anyways, my newly dyed hair covers dirtiness better than when it was lighter

5) I talked to Jenn this morning for the first time since coming to country! I interrupted her night at the green leafe, but I think she’ll forgive me. I also found out that she is sending me FOOTED PAJAMAS for Christmas. I am not sure that you’re aware of the gravity of that statement, so I’ll repeat myself. SHE IS SENDING ME FOOTED PAJAMAS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! I’m am SO unbelievably excited!

6) I am integrating into my village pretty well. I’ve begun to meet students’ parents. I am still getting invited to go guesting. I am going tonight as a matter of fact, to the Kyrgyz equivalent of a house warming party.

7) I am making Hummus again today and I am eating it now. I’m eating in my room because apa is frying fish and the smell is permeating the house. Sigh The hummus is delicious, though, if I may say so. That is another thing I have learned- things that you make yourself are so much better than store bought stuff. I am eating aforementioned hummus with tomatoes and cucumbers, whose prices are starting to rise again. They are both sixty som a kilo. Which converts to about $1.50. I know- that doesn’t seem like a lot, but I don’t really think about it dollars anymore, I budget in som and don’t have a ton extra to splurge on veggies, and when you don’t eat meat and need vegetables, and when the prices are only going to steadily increase…. It is cause for a wee bit of concern. Especially considering that less than a month ago tomatoes were 6 som a kilo, which was about 14cents… But, to quote Mrs. Buckett, “nothing goes better with cabbage than cabbage.” And I have a sneaking suspicion that I’ll be enjoying cabbage as my primary vegetable for the next few months. Luckily, citrus fruits are coming into season and pretty soon I’ll be able to get a kilo of oranges for about 50 som ( a little over a dollar) I am just going to have to switch vitamin sources. Delicious, delicious, vitamin sources.

I might try my hand at pita bread later, too. I’m not sure yet. I also want to make pumpkin bread, but I’m having trouble finding the spices. If anyone is sending a box this way in the next few months, some little containers of nutmeg, allspice, cloves, cardamom, cinnamon, cream of tarter, cumin, and brown sugar would be great.

8) OH! Big news! So, if you have been keeping up with reading this blog, you will know that I had a Halloween festival with my students and that a Christmas concert/festival is underway. I have created a monster so it seems and am now expected to have some sort of festival or party every quarter. I have no problem with this because it keeps me busy, but after having a discussion with my counterpart and some of my students about holidays and American school traditions… hold your breath… here it is…. I am going to help my students have ….. a prom. Yes, I know. A PROM? Do I know how much work that will be? Yes, I do. Do I know that the concept of the boys and girls going on a pseudo “date” might shake up my school a bit? Yes, I do. And am I still going to hold a prom? Yes, I am. I think it’ll be good for my students. Only the ninth and eleventh forms will be able to go, since we don’t have a tenth form. It’ll be for the older, and slightly more mature students, just like in America. So, here is where I need your help. Explaining the concept of prom wasn’t that difficult, but I would really appreciate if you all could send me pictures from your respective proms to show my students what prom is like. I’ve already recruited Jordan to send me pictures from my prom and hers, but I would love a bigger variety. If you could just print a few pics and stick them inside a card and mail it to me, that would be fantastic. It only costs like a buck to send a card or letter over here, and my students LOVE seeing pictures of America. When I made my scrapbook, I had no idea how much of a cultural aid it would be. The pics from last year’s Halloween in Norfolk were a big help, as were pics from jordan’s wedding and Christmas. Anways, I digress… pictures are good. Very good. Send me some please?

9) It is the third week of November and I have taught six classes the entire month. My second quarter schedule has me teaching 18 classes a week, but due to a week of vacation, a week of training, and over 50% of my students being out sick, there just haven’t been a lot of English classes. Now, why is this is a list of my good stuff? You would think that me not doing the job that I came to do would be bad, not good. I put this on the list as a representation of how much I have relaxed. We have a teaching plan, right? Which topics we will teach on which day in order to cover all the things we need to cover all year. We are currently four topics behind in about half of my classes and I am not concerned. Being behind schedule, or off schedule, would have really stressed me out a year ago. Now, I know that we’ll make it up, or just change the schedule, or just drop some topics. I’m not fussed about it. Is this personal growth and progress? We shall see.

10) This point does not really belong on here, but I like the prospect of finishing up a list with a round ten things. Nine just seems incomplete. What? Yes, I know, I am still OCD and crazy. You didn’t expect that to change, did you? Well, you might have noticed, maybe not, that my English is diminishing. (word is helping to check my atrocious spelling) Like most languages, lack of use makes it hard to remember. And seeing as how outside of class and lesson planning with my counterpart, I do not use English, it is becoming rusty from lack of use. Also, because my textbooks use British English and I’ve been reading quite a few books by British authors, my language is not only starting to get worse, but it is starting to change and I say things differently. I caught myself saying “you have a brother, have you not?” because I have read tag questions like that in the textbook all week. It is really strange. I have also almost completely quit using contractions because I use my TEFL voice whenever I do speak English. BUT on the flip side, my Kyrgyz has improved. I scored between and advanced Low and Advanced Mid on my language at our last training, which is technically fluent. YAY! I was told that I need to use more idioms, and I am sure that I will pick those up in time. Also, the upside to getting an advanced score in Kyrgyz is that I can now start learning Russian, too. I have picked up a little bit of Russian, simply from living in the most russianified oblast, and living in a half Russian village, but am having trouble with the grammar. All the verb conjugations and gender specific words are pretty rough to learn on my own, but I can now get a Russian tutor and hopefully by the end of two years, I’ll be fluent in both languages.

I know. It must be hard to believe that my language is suffering considering how loquacious I have been in this blog. I’m on the fourth page! Sheesh. If you have stuck with me and read this whole thing in one sitting, thanks. But, alas, as I am sure your eyes are starting to hurt and the words are starting to blur, I shall do you a favor and close for now.

Miss you tons!

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

Usually I write blogs at home and then upload them when I come to the city, because it saves me time and money, but I let my director borrow my flash drive yesterday for a day or two so i'm actually writing this in the internet cafe. I don't really have a lot of news, which is why I've been writing a little less frequently, so I'm going to just write a few random thoughts and be on my way because i don't have a lot of time today.

1. clumsiness + ice = a very bad combination. I bit it hard on the way to the internet cafe. It definitely wasn't the first time, and certainly won't be the last, but it hurt all the same. Those of you Norfolkers who remember my last experience on ice should know that i managed to fall with a little bit more decorum, although this fall was kinda like that one, although thankfully without the windmill arms. The teeth jarring head crack was achingly similar though. sigh. my head still hurts

2. I have rediscovered my respect for artists. After spendng three consecutive afternoons locked in a room with windows that don't open writing grammar tables with paint (and quite possibly getting lead posioning haha) I've remembered how difficult artsy stuff is. and i ruined my manicure with paint thinner... sigh

3. i've realized that surviving this winter is going to be one of the most difficult things i've done. emotionally. one. it is cold. and we all know how much i love the cold (i hate that the dripping sarcasm of that statement doesn't come through in type) plus it is dark when i wake up and dark when i come home at least three days of the week. it is a damper on my mood... sigh

In case you haven't picked up on it (all the sighs), i've been kind of in a down mood for a couple of days. One of those stomach-dropping turns on the emotional roller coaster.I have no doubt that it'll go back up, but the downs are just really hard sometimes.

well, in an effort to not infect the rest of the world with my depressing mood, i'm gonna end for now. my next post will be more upbeat, i promise.

miss you

love from kyrgyzstan,

jess

28 October 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDAN!!! I know I won’t post this until after your birthday, and I’m probably gonna call you today anyway, but I had to say it. I wish I were home with you to celebrate! Miss you tons!

Once again, missing birthdays and holidays at home is hard, I seriously doubt that will ever change, but as I get more integrated into my community, I get to take part in local birthdays and holidays, and it helps.

The thing about it being Jordan’s birthday is that it is pretty much Halloween, which means that October is over. Wow. And with October being over, that means Thanksgiving is just around the corner and Christmas and New Years are practically here already, which means Valentine’s Day is coming up fast, and when Valentine’s Day arrives St. Patrick’s Day is virtually here, which is just a couple short weeks away from my one year anniversary. You can laugh, but I have a feeling that time is going to go by about that fast. When I think about it, because the first week of the second quarter is fall break, and we have our six month in country training sometime in the second quarter, too, that leaves only six teaching weeks for the second quarter. Then, we have a two to three week new year’s break, and another training during the third quarter, so I think there are only about six teaching weeks during it, too. It’ll be spring before I know it. Hopefully anyway, because winter is gonna be rough. My entire village seems to know that I’m not a huge fan of the cold. It is kinda like a running joke how I’m gonna freeze to death. I’ve been wearing wool socks since September, added thermals to my daily wardrobe last week…. I know, I swore I was gonna wait, but the heat doesn’t get turned on in my school til November, and it is cold! I’m definitely learning how to layer.

Well, it has been a pretty busy week since I last posted a blog:

I threw an AWESOME Halloween party with my counterpart and students. The students did presentations on different American fall traditions, we had a pumpkin carving contest, a costume contest, and we bobbed for apples, had a bonfire, and ended the night with a spectacular dance party. I think my students all had a great time, or at least they told me that they did. Mike, Katie, Katie, and Taylor, some of the volunteers close to my village, came and they were a huge hit, just by showing up, plus they wore costumes, too! I’m gonna try to post pictures when I post this, we’ll see how it goes.

Other big news: guess who has running water in her house!!! Me!!! That’s right! My house is a work-in-progress because we’re remodeling, but the plumbing is in. well, at least the sinks are in and work. I was told we’d have an indoor shower and toilet, too, but right now, the fact that I don’t have to do a jack and jill every day (..fetch a pail of water, for those of you who might have forgotten the rhyme) is pretty sweet. My house is the only house in the village to have running water, so it is sort of like a tourist attraction, because the neighbors want to see how it is done.

Hmm… other news…. I missed class for the first time due to illness and got soaked in hot vodka all in one day. I woke up at 4am Monday and got really, really sick. When my Apa woke up, she heated up some vodka, we poured it on my stomach and rubbed it in, then I was wrapped in four blankets and told to sleep. So I did. I only had one class, but I didn’t go. We were only reviewing, anyway. My apa told me that my counterpart and my director came to visit me but I was asleep. Somehow the entire village knows I was sick. I went to school yesterday and everyone I met along the way asked me if I was feeling better. Then we got into the discussion of why I got sick. I knew it was gonna happen. My Halloween costume was sleeveless and every teacher at the festival told me i’d get sick if I didn’t put on a coat, (which I did, eventually when it got cold) but I wasn’t thinking that type of sick. If I’d gotten a cold, I’d have agreed with them that I got sick because I didn’t wear a coat, but having a random vomitron fest four days later, doesn’t really make sense to me. So, the next possibility was I got sick because I stood outside talking on my phone when it was cold. I disagree for the same reason as before. The next reason was that I must have gotten cold after taking a banya on Sunday… Again, I disagree for the same reason. I’ve never known getting cold to make me stomach sick. My guess would have been food poisoning or something of the sort again, but I ate the same oatmeal as the rest of my family and none of them got sick. So, the mystery of why I got sick remains a mystery.

Also, since this is the last week of the first quarter, it is TEST TIME! Writing tests is one of the most challenging things for me as a teacher. I’m torn between wanting the students to be able to complete the task, without making it too easy, plus coming up with examples and questions that have words that the students know, without using verbatim exercises from class. It is particularly stressful because this is the first cumulative test that the students will take since I got here, and how well they perform reflects on me. I want to know that I was able to teach them something. We gave the first test yesterday, and we’ll check it today. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh! I almost forgot! My counterpart and I get our own classroom! We were given the old physics classroom that we get to decorate as an English class. I was kinda frustrated at first because the physics classroom is the 11a classroom, which means that we get to decorate it and have great visual aids that only one class will get to use. But, remember how I told you that the 10th grade class got discontinued? That leaves an open classroom, because the teachers move classes, and the students stay put. So, the 11a class is taking the 10a classroom, and we get to have the students come to our English room, so all classes will get to use the resources and visual aids! I’m waiting on books from Darien Book Aid, so we’ll have a mini library that the students will get to use, plus all the American Culture stuff, it is gonna be great once we get it set up! And since the lack of a 10a class means that next year there won’t be an 11a class, I’m hoping that we’ll get to use it next year, too!!! YAY!!

Well, I’m gonna go get ready for school (but I do not want to go to school, I want to stay home and bake cookies with yoouuuu—that was for you Jordan haha)

Miss you all

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

20 October 2009

Whew. It has been one of those weeks and it is only Tuesday. I found out that my tenth grade class no longer exists. Apparently there is a law that says that if a class isn’t a certain size, it doesn’t get taught. There are about 6 or 7 kids on the register, but average class attendance has been three, so…. No more class. The tenth graders either have to go to another village to school, or they just quit because it is only mandatory to go through 9th grader here…. I don’t know what they’ll choose to do. I’ve also been talking with teachers about how to deal with my more troublesome classes. I’ve been getting advice that I have to be patient, I have to encourage them, praise them, and tell them that they’re doing great. I know the importance of encouraging high school students, having been a high school student myself. I also probably know it better than a lot of the teachers, having been a high school student more recently than twenty years ago… but… maybe it is just me, but I have a problem with telling a class that they’re doing a great job when they’ve only written their homework twice in two months, and when they don’t study. Maybe I’m too blunt, maybe I’m too direct, or maybe I’m just mean and cruel, but I refuse to tell student “great work” when they haven’t done any work at all. And obviously this method has worked so well for the other teachers (all sarcasm intended.) since they kids don’t do their homework in any of their classes. I think they need a little bit of a firmer hand. I don’t mind giving 2s (Ds) for grades. If they get 2s, they have to do summer school to pass…. I’ll be here all summer anyway… might as well… I’m not going to give good grades if they don’t deserve it. I’m more of a rock the boat kinda girl, and the –pass-them-so-we-don’t-have-to-deal-with-them-boat needs to be rocked. We’ll see how it goes…

Well that paragraph was kinda negative, and I don’t want you to think that I’m depressed or anything. That is just one of the frustrations I’ve got right now. So to balance it out, I figure I should talk about some of the positives… I’m integrating into my teaching staff pretty well. We have the Kyrgyz version of the Avon lady on the teaching staff, and I got to be a customer. I bought some clear nail polish because I’m out. (yes, I know I brought nail polish with me, but giving myself manicures keeps me sane, so shuddup. Haha)

In other news, I finished my Halloween costume today. Actually, I started it today, too. I’m going as a greek goddess. I’ve done it before, it is easy, and not too skanky. Seeing as how I’m a teacher, the skanky costumes that I got used to in college don’t really work anymore… they were fun… I’m interested to see how my students will dress.

The volunteers that live close to me are gonna come, too and Mike is bringing some of the kids from his town. When I told my 9th grade class today, the boys asked- are girls coming? The girls asked- are boys coming? Then they asked me if he was my boyfriend. Typical obnoxious ninth graders… haha

My eighth grade class was just boys today. My counterpart, who is subbing as the organization vice principal was preparing for a party type thing, and the girls were helping. So it was me, and nine 8th grade boys… it was actually a pretty fun class. They’re good kids. We did a reading exercise; they asked me about America, my family, etc. It is the stuff I expected them to ask the first day, but I guess they’ve gotten used to me or aren’t as shy anymore. Then they gave me flowers. I dunno why. It was cute. Then they asked me for my phone number. I didn’t give it to them. I’m not sure I want my cell number in the hands of eighth graders.

I had a laugh that getting flowers and having someone ask for my number is the most romantic interest I’ve had in months haha… and it was from 13 year olds…sigh… then I remembered the marriage proposals, and even though most of them were jokes (not very funny ones, though) it was still a sobering thought. Dating opportunities are pretty thin on the ground here, but I’m making some local girl friends, which is good. I’m got invited to go guesting with one of the other younger teachers.

…

It is tomorrow/today… well.. the next day now… I’m fixin to get ready to go to school to lesson plan, then teach, then head into the city to pick up the last minute stuff for my festival. I have class til 5 tomorrow and the festival is Friday, so it has to be today.

I figured I’d jot a few more things down while I’ve got time. Azeez, my three year old brother is really starting to grow on me. He can still be really irritating, but he’s three, the only boy, with four older sisters, so expecting him to not be spoiled rotten would be ridiculous. He likes coffee, but we don’t like to give it to him, you know, hyperactive three year old on a caffeine high, plus half the sugar bowl that he puts in it, not a good combo… so, I told him in Kyrgyz that if little boys drink coffee, they won’t grow to be tall. I asked if he wanted to be tall and strong like his dad and uncles, and that he wouldn’t be if he drank coffee… Ata picked up on it really quickly and asked if he wanted Zarina, a cousin who is a few months younger, to be bigger than he was and if he wanted to get beaten up by a girl… it was priceless. There hasn’t been a wanting-coffee-related temper tantrum since. He’s also fascinated by one of my t-shirts. I’ve got that long sleeve tshirt from high school, with the PVHS and the dragon on it. I wear it a lot since it is warm, and Azeez loves dragons, so he loves my shirt. The memory retention of three year olds astounds me. We have our “family language club” every night at dinner, and he picks up words so fast! His favorite is “horse.” I think we only said it once, maybe twice, and he knows it, remembers it, and uses it. He’s also picking up on the good mornings and good nights. It’s pretty cool. I wish I could learn Kyrgyz that fast.

I’ve got a pretty busy week ahead of me. We’re doing our Halloween festival on the 23rd, because next week is the first quarter tests, then we have a week off for fall break. Between the week off for fall break and the week long PC training we’ll have during the second quarter, that only leaves six week of teaching in the second quarter, then the holidays. I have a feeling that the second quarter is going to go by pretty quickly. And since I’m not coming home in the winter, it looks like I’ll be making a lot of scarves… haha I’m getting better at crocheting. I made a couple of hats and scarves, and my teaching staff loved them, I think that the fact that I can make something makes me a little less useless. Haha

OH! I almost forgot! I got TWO wicked sweet packages! One from the fam with my sleeping bag and external hard drive full of the most wonderful media… but somehow the cord for it didn’t make it, and the cord to my old external is wearing out, so I’ll have to get a new cord to fully appreciate it, but it is here, and has enough stuff to get me through the winter! AND I got the sweetest package from Ciara, Sarah, and Sara! Thank you guys so much! S’MORES!!!! I absolutely can not wait to make them, but I’m forcing myself to wait until I have a reason to make them with other people, otherwise I’ll eat the entire bag of marshmallows myself and get sick. Haha it was such a great package, I loved the writing on it- great Cyrillic by the way. Haha I miss you guys, tons, too! thank you thank you thank you

We’ll I’ve got to go get ready. I’ll probably go to the city this weekend, too, so maybe I’ll posts pictures of the festival.

Miss you tons!

Love from Kyrgyzstan,

Jess

p.s.

sorry if i said i'd call and haven't, i spent more on my phone last month than i did on my rent and thought i should cut back a bit

17 October 2009

What a week! If the days keep going by as fast as this week has gone, my two years will be over before I know it.

This week has been incredibly interesting. I know I didn’t write anything about the regional teacher’s meeting last Saturday, but let’s just sum it up by saying that it was complete shenanigans. I left at 8am, got back at 8pm, had a blast with my teachers, who all acted like a bunch of college students, ended up with a sprained ankle (I fell out of an outhouse… not kidding…only me, right?), a bruised rib from someone’s elbow because there were 9 adults and a baby packed It was raining and the stones were wet and I slipped… only me, right into a Lada (one of the throwback soviet cars), and my stomach and head hurt from laughing so much… it was quite a day.

This week I also threw an all out hissy fit, judged a talent show, and got my students hyped up for our Halloween Festival.

First: the hissy fit.

So, a little bit of background information: I teach 7-11 grades. I have 2 classes of 7th 8th, and 9th graders, and one each of 10th and 11th. The classes are divided into Russian and Kyrgyz classes. 7a, 8a, and 9a are Russian speakers, and the b classes are the Kyrgyz. For the most part, they all understand Kyrgyz, but a few only speak Russian. My Thursday schedule is rough. I have an 8am, a 12:20, and a 5pm class. On top of the weird schedule, the three classes that I teach are the ones that try my nerves the most- The 9b,8b, and 7b classes. It’s not that they are unintelligent… they’re just less… I guess the best word would be motivated... less motivated. It’s like when they divided my governor’s school class into two. The smart class and the dumb class, as those of us in the dumb class jokingly called them. It is like that here. The b classes just don’t care as much. I know what that’s like, having not cared at all about my physics and calculus classes at governor’s school. Thankfully, the kids here aren’t as bad and Kat and I were, at least they haven’t started doing each other’s hair and taking self-pics while I’m trying to teach. Haha I’d probably deserve it, tho. This is my karma for being so rude myself. Haha

Anyways, enough background info. The 9b class only has English on thrusday and Friday. I know that makes retention even harder having a week between classes, but I got really frustrated because I gave then a vocab quiz on irregular verbs last week and not a single student got more than one word right. I was really frustrated because they’d had a week to study and they only had seven words… So, I told them that I’d be giving the test again, and I really wanted them to study this time, second chances and all that. So, Thursday, I gave the test for the second time, which gave them two weeks to learn seven irregular verbs. The best student in the class only got 4 correct. And here came the hissy fit…. I was so frustrated! I told them that I didn’t want to teach them if they couldn’t even go to the trouble of learning seven words. I have to do work outside of class to prepare for lessons, but they can’t study seven words. They have time to talk and chat in between classes, but didn’t have time to study. My counterpart then gave them the whole she-came-from-america-to-teach-you-and-you-act-like-this-you-should-be-ashamed-of-yourselves-speech. I told them that the 6a class really wanted to learn English and I knew that they would study, so I was gonna teach them instead. We’re having a Halloween festival next Friday, and I uninvited them, telling them that going to festivals was a privilege, not a right, and classes had to prepare things for the festival and this class had showed me that they couldn’t be trusted to prepare seven words for a quiz, much less a tradition to talk about at the festival, so they couldn’t come. Then my counterpart and I left. She is equally frustrated with them. About 30 seconds after we got back to the teacher’s room, the class was knocking on the door, asking us to please teach them. I asked them if they wanted me to teach them. They said yes. I asked why. They said they wanted to learn English, it was important. I laughed. I told them not to lie to me, because if they really wanted to learn, really thought it was important, they’d have done their homework, and studied. I pulled out my grade book (I never would have done this in the states) and started telling them their grades- you’ve only done homework twice all year, you only learned two words in two weeks, etc. I told them that if I taught them, right now, they’d all be getting 2s, which is like the equivalent of a D. I asked them if they still wanted me to teach them, knowing how I grade. They said yes. So, I made a deal with them. I told them that I’d teach them that day, and that if every.single.one. of them did their homework, I’d teach them until the end of the first quarter and then, if they’d improved, I’d keep teaching them. But, if one student didn’t do their homework, the whole class wouldn’t go to the Halloween festival, and I would teach the 6a class instead. They agreed to the terms, so I taught them. (yes I’m aware of the irony of me being an English teacher, and the fact that this was practically one long run-on sentence)

Sigh. I was so frustrated when I left the class, I almost ran into one of my 7b students. I don’t teach them until 5pm, so I wondered why he was at school so early. It turns out; he came to ask for help on his homework! I’ve told every class, every single lesson, that if they had questions, to please come ask, and it was the first time that a student came to ask! Good-bye frustration, hello euphoria! The “emotional-rollercoaster” here is like that. Sometimes the up and down cycle takes a few days, or weeks, and sometimes, just a few minutes.

Yesterday, we had a holiday. The “fall ball” It was kinda like a talent show, I guess. Three different classes did songs, dances, and skits. They asked me to judge at noon, and the show started at 2. So, having nothing else to do, I judged! I was great! They’re so creative, and I found that I could understand more of the Kyrgyz than I thought I’d be able to.

Next week is our Halloween Festival! I’m so stoked! My 8 classes, from 7th-11th, are all presenting a different fall tradition that I’ve taught them about this week, and then we’re going to do the traditions- pumpkin carving, bobbing for apples, etc. There’s also going to be a costume contest, so the kids are making their own costumes. I can’t wait to see what they come up with! As a matter of fact, I’ve got to come up with my own costume… we’ll see how that goes. I’ll try to post pictures after.

We’ll I’ve written quite a bit, and need to get off to do my shopping. Guess I’ll turn of my billie holiday and try to go hitchhike, I mean, get a taxi… haha

Miss you!

Love from Kyrgyzstan!

Jess

10 October 2009

When things get kind of frustrating here, without fail, something will happen that makes me feel not quite so far away. Sometimes several things will happen all in one day that make me realize that no matter where in the world you go, people are the same. Teachers still confiscate and laugh at ninth graders’ love letters, kids still put off doing their chores until the last possible minute, mothers still make their kids put on too many clothes when it is cold, and people still show off when they have something that others don’t. Although, in the last case, the something that they have that others don’t… just happens to be… me. Haha

So, a little bit of a geography lesson… Kyrgyzstan has seven oblasts (the equivalent of a state). The Peace Corps has volunteers in six of them. Each oblast is divided into rayons (the equivalent of a county, I guess). In my rayon, there are two volunteers: me, and Mike, a health volunteer. So, that makes me the only TEFL volunteer in my rayon. Last weekend was the teacher’s holiday. I went guesting with all my teachers and had a great time. Today, in honour of the teacher’s holiday, every school in the rayon sends five or six teachers to the rayon center for a bit of a celebration. Guess who is one of the five or six from my school? You’re right! Me. Apa told me, jokingly, this morning that they wanted me to go so they could essentially show me off as their volunteer. Woo-hoo. I’m not 100% sure what we’re going to be doing. Apparently we’re going to the rayon education office to meet with all the other teachers and watch a concert, and possibly going to a café with the teachers from my school. My counterpart is going too, and told me that we shouldn’t be gone long, but Apa told me I’d probably be back late, so I haven’t the foggiest idea what exactly I’ll be doing.

I’m meeting the teachers at 8:30, which, at one time would’ve seemed really early to me for a Saturday, but I’d have been up that early anyway. The students here go to school on Saturdays, so my family is all up and ready and going to school anyway, but as part of my PC contract I only teach Monday through Friday. I’m normally up on Saturdays anyway because a family of seven can’t get ready without making a considerable amount of noise, that plus, my internal alarm clock has been set for 6:30 for so long that I’m usually up.

Well, I’ve got to go to school to meet with the teachers, so I’ll wrap it up for now, but maybe I’ll write about today when I get back.

2 October 2009

I’m a liar. You know how I said that I’d never leave laundry for three weeks… ever… again? Well, two weeks ago was my bi-weekly laundry day, but I was temporarily evicted, and then last weekend, we lost power and it rained, so here I sit with A MONTH of laundry to do. Granted, a month’s worth of laundry here is so much less than it’d be back home given my redefinition of the word “dirty,” but, even with my rewearing schedule, a month of clothes is still a lot. For example, clean underwear every day, that’s 30odd pairs, most shirts I wear at least 5-7 times to school before washing, unless I spill something on myself, haha, so let’s say 6 dress shirts if we include overlap from last month, too. My jeans I usually wear for a month without washing. (kinda gross, I know, but denim is a pain to wash and dry here…. I still haven’t figured out why Peace Corps volunteers are assumed to be dirty... haha) My dress pants usually go for a month too, but I’ve got the long ones that I wear with heels and the shorter ones that I wear with flats, and I haven’t washed them since getting to site in June… so that’s two pairs of dress pants. Plus, two skirts that I’ve been alternating for a month, and then there’s my house clothes. I usually wear a t-shirt and a pair of bum pants around the house and to sleep in for a week straight, so that’s four more shirts, and four more pants… plus my bedding, and my towels, and my socks… sheesh. It is a ton. Other background information that you need to know… I was supposed to teach four lessons today until 1. But, my second class, the boys all got called out to do work to winterize the school. Then I had a break and was supposed to teach two more lessons, but after the third lesson today, it was cleaning time and the students have to clean the school, which means no class. So. Here it is, 10:15am and I am done with work for the week. “Why don’t you do your laundry now?” you might ask. That’s a very good question. Well, I went to start hauling my water and was going to light a fire under the big kazan (it is like a huge cauldron type pot, seriously it’s so big I could take a bath in it haha) but then I looked in the big pot, and there was food in there. We lost power yesterday so Apa cooked in the pot, and what with it being potato harvesting time, winter salad making time (like canning in the states), school cleaning day, and the other regular work, I guess there hasn’t been time to clean it yet, and it isn’t really a job that I want to undertake myself. Alas, since tomato, potato, and noodle-flavored clothes are really what I want to wear, I’m not doing laundry right now. AND tomorrow I’m going guesting since it is the teachers’ day holiday, I probably won’t be able to do it tomorrow. Oh, the disadvantages of having too many clothes… I can feasibly go another two weeks before I run out of underwear, and another month or two before I have no clothes… If only I had less clothes, I’d be forced to do laundry… sigh. Poor me. Haha

Anyways, enough ranting about laundry. The time has come to talk of other things. (love that movie) Teachers’ day, for instance: I was given a present today by my 11th grade class. They gave me one of the felt souvenirs that is shaped like an old fashioned canteen; I found out later that one of the girls made it. They also gave me a hand made beaded necklace and ornament. They also made a really sweet card with paper flowers. I am continually wowed at the ingenuity of the students here. In America, kids would just buy something, but here they make everything. Even my creativity is improving here.

Speaking of which, I finished my first ever crocheted scarf. I used the dark red yarn that Jenn sent me and bought some grey to accent with. I’m working on a hat now. I’ll post pics modeling my goodies when I finish. It is hard to make things without a pattern, but through trial and a lot of error, the finished projects should be reasonably mediocre. Haha

Other bits of randomness:

I’m learning some Kyrgyz superstitions. I know every area has their own different little things, for example, I was always told when I was little that if your nose itched, someone is coming to visit you. My host dad and I had an encounter this morning when I was on my way to the outhouse, and the outer door to our house had a massive spider web with a half-dollar sized epic monster spider in the middle of it stretched across it. Me, being my typical brave, courageous, daring self… was paralyzed with fear. Haha Okay, really, I was looking around for something to get rid of it with, when my host dad came and just wiped the web with his hand (ew, shudder, gross) and grabbed the spider and took it outside. He then told me that having a spider build its web across your door is good luck because it means someone is coming to visit. It is opposed, of course, to my belief that having a spider build a web across your door simply means that there is a huge nasty spider blocking your way to the outside. Haha

miss you

love from kyrgyzstan,

jess