Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

(Anais Nin)

Do I want to see the ugly side of myself? Really?

Will I work to see it for what it is, and not for what I want it to be?

Will I love myself no matter what I find?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

(a haiku for you)

lunch, sharing, wisdom,

and eyes that see from your heart:

you are my Grandad.

Holy smokes!

I'm freakin out.

Anyone else? . . . . . .

anyone . . . . anyone. . . . Bueller . . . Bueller?

Saturday afternoon I was hanging out with Dave, Chris & Uncle Walt at their house (they're finishing laying their new hardwood floors in their family room & it looks beautiful :) when my dad called... well, my invitation to the Peace Corps came in the mail!

It took me about five seconds to decide that YES! I wanted him to open it & read it to me!

So after what felt like FOREVVVVEEEERRRR of hearing paper crinkle and crumple, he started reading...

(something to the effect of):

Dear Emily,

Congratulation! Peace Corps has invited you to serve in Bulgaria....

...and that's when I stopped listening. Bulgaria?! Bulgaria!! What?!

Holy cow! Just when I think I know something they throw me a curveball.

So that's it. Bulgaria. And I feel really good about it.

My assignment is to teach English to children that are in primary school, mostly ages 8 to 13; I'll do that 18 hours a week. I'll also run teacher workshops for the Bulgarian teachers, introducing new teaching ideas, projects and philosophies.

Another component to Peace Corps Bulgaria is community development. Volunteers are expected to initiate a secondary project in addition to their primary assignment. There's a lot of creative flexibility in secondary projects. :) For example, I could starting a soccer team, enhancing the resources at the local library, establish a local library!, organize and create an educational mural, run a girls only summer camp for girl empowerment (Camp GLOW - Girls Leading Our World). Wow!

So at this point, I have a little over a week to mull my life over & decide if I am committed to going overseas for two years and three months to work in Bulgaria as a Peace Corps Volunteer. My gut response: Absolutely.

I'll keep you posted!.

Love, Emily

I've noticed that recently I've almost lost all interest in learning Spanish, which kind of makes me sad, because I have (almost) always wanted to learn that language, but that's just an aside. . .

How come when perceivingly bad things happen in nature, I have an urge to help it. Oooh, and where is that quote that's upstairs in my room about just that... Okay, here it is:

(from The Tao Te Ching, No. 29, excerpt)

The universe is sacred.

You cannot improve it.

If you try to change it, you will ruin it.

If you try to hold it, you will lose it.

So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes they are behind;

Sometimes breathing is hard, sometimes it comes easily;

Sometimes there is strength and sometimes weakness;

Sometimes one is up and sometimes down.

Therefore the sage avoids extremes, excesses, and complacency.

*

How wise, I understand, but why don't I apply? Why do I keep getting in my way? ...Not so wise. The other day I saw a big ant & was impressed with his stature and presence; hey, he was a really good looking ant. Then from nowhere came an equally impressive spider who was grayish brownish black. The two started to battle.

It was very interesting to watch, and I just watched 'em for a while.

I was super impressed by the ant who, I am pretty sure I read or heard somewhere can lift like 100 times it's body weight (actually I think it's closer to 10 times...). But that spider was tricky, and he started circled around the ant; he was spinning a web around the ant in mid-air; the ant was walking on spider-spun air. He was done fer.

So I grabbed a stick and sliced n' diced the web and gave him a lifeline. . . Regis, that strange little man, ha! Oh, crap, I'm nature's Philbin; that just sounds gross.

(For help, please see above, No. 29.)

Here I am. Here I am. Sitting here, been living at my parent's beautiful house, home, for over a year now. things I've accomplished: debt-free, established savings account, many great nights at home, taken risks, ready to roll. Years and years and I've been thinking about Peace Corps.

And now it's hinging on a few weeks till I find out if I'm really in... and then it'll hang on a few days till I decide if i'm really gonna take the leap. Take the leap.

*

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. (Anias Nin)