This is what I said with the biggest smile on my face in my video addressing all who contributed, just before catching my flight to Cameroon after 2 years. It always amazes me to see what can be done when we all come together with pure hearts for something good. In just 3 weeks, we raised over $1600, reaching our goal to complete the Light in Sight project with the Kentaja orphanage in Bandjuidjong, a small village in the West province. People tell me that they are inspired, but I am inpsired the most from this! It never fails that whenever I put myself out there for others, it comes back to reward me much more than I ever thought it would. The words that Ernest spoke to me as a Peace Corps volunteer are very alive:

"Think of others; God will think of you."

Please see more information and photos at www.peacetreeafrica.org or by visiting our Facebook page!

We are currently carrying out the Solar Power project, to be funded and coordinated by Peace Tree Africa in collaboration with Kentaja Orphanage. We intend to complete this project in July 2011.Currently, there is no electricity available for use in the small, poverty-struck village of Bandzuidjong, located in the West province of Cameroon, West Africa. This project will allow for the orphans of Kentaja to spend more of their day studying!!

My sincerest THANKS to all of you who have volunteered your time and provided support to Peace Tree Africa Nonprofit and the Kentaja Orphanage Solar Power project this weekend. There is only one way to eat an elephant- one piece at a time (Desmond Tutu), and a few pieces are out of the way! There is absolutely no way I could do this without you; thank you, thank you, thank you.

We are now $ 245 closer to our goal to provide light for the orphans of Kentaja!! Just $ 1255 to go! Any donation that you can make would be much appreciated at peacetreeafrica.org . You can very easily make a donation via Paypal on our website within minutes. Every dollar counts!

We are also in search of a Country Director to serve as a contact for the artisans and to assist them in producing artwork that will be distributed in the USA. I am looking for a volunteer, preferably a female, who has business acumen, who is driven to work for sustainable development in Cameroon. Are there individuals that you know personally whom you feel would be right for the position? Please contact me for an application. Find more information about this role on our website, peacetreeafrica.org.

"There is a word for taking more than we need- Cancer."

Looking at the list I made for myself, I'm happy to say that I passed the certification courses and exam; I am now officially certified to teach French in Texas! I'm also making my dreams come true, and little by little, seeing Peace Tree Africa take new steps, and became a Business owner in the process! Oh, how we learn as we go...after talking to various business advisers and seeking out all the info that I could, my application was turned in and my fees were submitted to the IRS; I received a call not long after that informed me that Nonprofits are not allowed to have a large source of revenue that comes from the selling of merchandise- et voila, Peace Tree Africa Partnership was born!!

And somewhere in my blindly having faith in the universe, a surprise gift was given to me, and I re-connected with a friend from college. In college, Ryan was... let's just say eccentric. We talked and talked, every time that we ran into each other on campus. He claims it was flirting whenever he would ask me to coffee to help him with his French; I never noticed his glances into the Study Abroad office while I was working there, nor did I realize that he thought so highly of me. I just thought he was a really nice guy. Little did we know that our lives would end up in the same exact direction, and that coming together 5 years later would only create something wonderful and collaborative, and that we would share the same sentiments when it comes to Africa, sustainable development, political status, and values. I was casually dating someone else earlier this year, but when Ryan and I started talking more and more on the phone, it was clear to me that this was something big and that I had better make room for it. He brought a rose and a bone for my dog on the first date! I knew it would only get better from there, and in the past 2 months, it has...he's a better partner than I imagined was ever out there for me, from fabulous dates to making breakfast to making phone calls for my business. He is 110% there for me, and I can only hope that I treat him as well. We are still getting to know each other better, but if I told you that we didn't have plans for Peace Corps, resorts in Africa and grad programs in the North, I would be lying. ;-)

I recently watched a film that I MUST mention. The I AM documentary. I wish that the entire world would sit down and watch the film, and then act accordingly. I've seen it twice, and everyone I have encouraged to see it has loved it. I referenced it in my exit interview when I quit working for the ATX Telematics Corporation just last week. It's THAT good! Some of the messages that I love from the film are:

* The universe provides us with enough. We should take what we need and give the rest to others.

* There is a word for taking more than we need- Cancer.

* WE are the problem. WE need to BE the change.

* Competition is an evil that has made Americans very selfish, so much so that in the same cities that we live in, there is poverty and hunger. If everyone cared, the problem would not be.

* Our energy actually has an impact on the universe, and therefore the simple breath that we breathe out into the universe does change it, in some small way.

* Only one thing can save us- LOVE.

See more about it here: http://www.iamthedoc.com/thefilm/

I quit working as a BMW Response Agent with ATX Telematics, in protest against the machine that treats people like they're robots, and to satisfy my need to do something filled with purpose, dignity and respect, and where my talents & experiences are appreciated. Working 2 jobs that I love, even without benefits and whatever else adults feel like they are supposed to have, makes me much happier. It's not about the money. It's about filling life with as much love as possible. I will also now have a little more time to work toward Peace Tree Africa's goals.

I provide you with such a personal recount of all that I am doing, because I believe that peace SHOULD be personal to all of us, and every choice that we make reflects our values. If nothing else, I will die trying to make the world a little better, even if it takes the rest of my life. As Desmond Tutu says in the I AM documentary film, "There is only one way to eat an elephant.. one piece at a time!"

"Small multiple moves are favored over big leaps, they mount up and you go just as far."

Dear 2010,

How quickly and slowly at once this year has gone by! I'm excited to say goodbye to you, and hello to love in my life in 2011. Goodbye to culture shock, Casey, any tolerance for bad communication skills, goodbye to full time at ATX! Hello to love, love, love! The only law this worls needs, what Jesus actually said was the single most important law to follow. It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? If everyone did everything with love in their heart, this world would be perfect. I'm nowhere near perfect, but Dear God I will continue the fight to make this place just a little better.

I learned a lot from you, 2010.. I've learned that no matter what ideas we have, they are modified to the rules and regulations of this world if you want them to be successful. No matter what expectation I have, or what ideas I wish to bring to life, it must always be modified accordingly. Things this year seemed to take longer, and I'm still learning to accept that, and not stress when it doesn't go just as it happened in my dreams. Age is just a number, I've realized..I spent so much of my time "getting ahead", only to feel like I sunk into a hole of some sort, but it is what it is- my past, and I move along, look ahead. I'm lucky enough to know what I want, and to continuously have the drive to go for it. It wasn't a waste, because I learned a lot: that I'm very forgiving, I go crazy if I stay still for too long, that the way one uses words is important, but much more so are our actions, and finally, I've learned that one cannot rationalize how they feel. 2010, you brought me Amie, and I am so thankful for this precious dog! She is sweet and considerate by her very own nature. You taught me that this crazy world still produces some beautiful, loving souls. I am not alone. And then you have surprised me, much sooner than I thought life would, with people that inspire me again.

Hello, 2011!

I want to become closer to who I truly am with you. I'm willing to make the necessary steps, and I want to be better.

* Amie's vet told me that his resolution was to leave all negative energy in 2010, and not bring any into this year. What a good one! I will take that one for myself too, and while it can be so tough at times, I think I have the perfect support system for it. I am surrounding myself with people that laugh, that see how great life is, that choose to see the good rather than the bad, who actively pursue their happiness.

* I want to complete teacher certification, another way to make a difference in the world.. and obtain a teaching job that allows me to collaborate with a great school, students, secure, peaceful, loving, joyful. And oh how generous you are to have already given me this! Last week I was hired on as a part-time French teacher with a private school!

* I want to look objectively at my relationships, realistically, positively, take my time to trust. Move slow, is the goal. To be honest, patient, supportive.

* To keep in better touch with Alicia and Sarah, my dear friend who I've been blessed to have since studying abroad to France in 2005.

* Go to Mexico!

* To finish reading "Angry and Controlling Men", a book that my sister believes in so much, that she bought a 2nd copy so that I could borrow and read.

* I will choose a day of the week to focus in on PTA's objectives, as this is my ultimate goal, to see Peace Tree Africa flourish. We are currently under review by the IRS for tax exempt status! We will now look for sources of aide and funding for Kentaja Orphanage's solar panels. We need to get a broker, and apply for grants, and to obtain supporters and sponsors.

* I want to visit Cameroon. I miss my brilliant son, Franck (who was THE first in his class this year, and who passed his BEPC Exam with flying colors into the next grade!), and the part of me that thrives when I am IN Cameroon. While I am there, I want to

* Complete Franck's adoption.

* I want to never not be thankful for what I have; enjoy the moment.

“To love is not to look out for one and then the other, but is to look and work in the same direction.” – Cameroonian proverb

Another season begins and I feel that some things are meant to be, and some are meant NOT to be. The direction I was heading with Casey, even just living with him, was not the direction I wanted my life to go in. I am disappointed with myself for not having realized that earlier, for ignoring the signs and red flags that would later destroy my happiness. In the words of my friend Jessica Jackson, “You allow people to treat you the way that they do. If you don’t like it, get away from it”. These words are forever engraved in my mind. I won’t go into the details here, but we will just say that the relationship was unhealthy. I have questioned and questioned relationships, trying to figure out what they ought to be (and still am researching), and while I obviously don’t know all the answers, what I have learned from this experience is this: It’s all about how you feel. If you don’t feel good with the person you’re with, it doesn’t matter what logic or twisting of perspective you rationalize with – you’re selling yourself short, and are not getting what you deserve. You deserve to be happy.

We just moved into my new apartment, Amie and I. Oh yes, I have a puppy.

Amie was found in a shelter, in a cage with 6 other dogs, including her brother, all who were attacking her if ever she approached the food bowl. Her bones poked out of her skin, her tail had been cut too short by someone awful, and her eyes were the definition of sad and neglected. When my hopeful mom saw her, she demanded that they let her take Amie home. At this time, she was called Lucky; everyone, including the vet, was hoping, but doubtful, that she would survive. A few weeks later, my mom had nursed her back to health, and her heavy head that once hung low was raised higher. She started to play. My mom told me that she thought she would be a good dog for me, and when I saw her, I wanted nothing more but to give her all the love that she hadn’t received in the past. While she is great responsibility (that many disapproved of at first), she was a great encouragement for me to completely move on. She is a great companion that I prefer to share my life with! She’s loyal, she’s a great cuddler, she is always in a great mood, and provides me with an outlet for my affection and love. That’s why I named her Amie – French for “friend”.

Right now, I am on a positivity, peaceful energy, freedom, new life with Amie, joyful at my own discretion high. I moved, I moved, I moved. I am moving on. It worked out in a way that I can rejoice about, and I am thankful to all my friends and family who have helped me. As I feel I had taken a bit of a step back, I feel that life is pushing forward, for there are too many things for me to discover and appreciate, there’s still so much to love in this life. People I have yet to meet, places I haven’t been yet, ideas I don’t yet understand- I cherish it all.

Peace Tree Africa’s current step involves market research for the DFW area, and calculating the costs and specifics of an importation of products. It’s tedious and exhausting, but nonetheless it’s a step forward.

We have also partnered with KBI, a fellow nonprofit that supports development in Sierra Leone. The organization was actually founded by a dear friend from college, whom I used to tutor in French!! Who could have imagined that we would have both lived in Africa and started nonprofits by this point? Life is quite amazing. With this partnership, we are able to work under their 501 (C) (3) status, that is still pending IRS review (this process is known to take 6 months to a year). So if there is anyone out there that feels it right in their heart to make a donation, provide a grant opportunity, or fund our first importation trip, or if you want to know more about our mission, please go to www.PeaceTree Africa.org.

To those of you out there that read along these lines, to simply the internet space out there, to the energy of the world.. After so long of not keeping up with this page, I want to take just a moment to share how Peace Tree Africa is doing. This is me, this is my focus, this is what I have been called to do. And so here you are, a witness to the roots that I spend most of my free time nourishing.

It's such a time-consuming, learning, fulfilling, lovable process. There is always something to do, but as Will Smith says it, "It takes an obsession about what you're working for to really bring you to success" (by the way, I just discovered a beautiful video that sheds light on his philosophy, and I encourage you to look up Will's Wisdom whenever you return to youtube). We are at the Business Plan phase. In other words, if you thought that form 1023 would break down every aspect of the business, this document demands details broken down from those aspects, and you're asked to consider everything that a potential donor might consider. Milestones and goals. The vision! We have a Vision!

"We envision a sustainable Africa, free of hunger and poverty."

Isn't this wonderful, the fact that I get to put it all out there, the idea that one may find unrealistic, but what we are ultimately striving for?! I feel like a beauty queen behind the scenes, writing out things like that! Yes, behind the scenes, on the ground, getting my hands dirty, with ink for now, LOL... behind chapters that are about to unfold, because I know so-and so do several Cameroonian villages, my parents, the Small Business Development Advisor of Dallas, and Will Smith!

I'm inspired. So often I work my ten hour shifts, miserably, and in between calls I complete a task or two, or I go home at the end of the night and I ask Google to tell me what this business jargon means, and then my mind twists and turns until I figure it out. All this feels good, but when it's validated, and you're sitting there with your 22 page baby, in front of a knowledgeable expert in the field that gives you some hot tips and tells you you're on your way, you feel phenomenal. Like, Okay, I'm getting somewhere!

And you know how the universe sometimes will conspire with you to get what you want? That is happening too, in more ways than one. Some really great fundraiser ideas have been thrown into my lap, which will bring us to the NEXT phase- Funding that tour to Cameroon.

And how I miss it!! I am so emotionally tied to this business, it's ridiculous. The motivational speaker who spoke this morning mentioned the things we hear before we start work every morning. Well, I hear Ernest telling me that this will work because it is God's will, I hear the teachers of CEBEC telling me that they will always pray for me in life, I see Franck's smiling face, I hear gospel music from Sintia's church, and I feel the love and gratitude of the Badzuidjong people, for carrying out the water well project; and I feel a huge responsability to keep on loving this family I've been so lucky to have, and to help them in a huge way.

Ernest e-mailed to let me know that Franck is advancing into the next grade (4ieme) with what's an equivalent to a high "B" !! Proud mother here!!! And I called my good, dear friend Bakari last week. He's saving money for college again this year, working back in Manjo. This makes me a bit sad, as he's such an intelligent kid, who would contrbute so much back to this world if he were only given the opportunity. When I return for business, he is going to be one of my key coordinators to get the shipment together.

When I asked about everyone in my village of Bare, he ofcourse told me that most of them are mad at me, because I haven't called them or returned yet. This is what Cameroonians do, and I love them for it. What's better is, they are very quick to let go of grudges. I know that once I return, with a few gifts ofcourse, everyone in my Cameroonian family will open their arms to me. For now, I work obsessively toward that very vision.

1. Determine the name of the organization. Choose 3 different ones just in case. Call the state of Texas(512.463.5555) to check if it's already existing organization with that name.

2. Set up the Articles of Incorporation. See the Secretary of State website for a form to know what to complete. Make 2 copies of this form (it's not long, and requires the founder to list 3-4 board members) and send it to:

The Secretary of State

Statuary Filings Division

Corporation Section

PO Box 13697

Austin, TX 78711-3697

Ask for a stamped copy to be sent back to you.

Send a check or money order for 25$ (processing fee). Make it out to the Secretary of State.

3.Go to www.irs.gov and register for an Employer ID #. It takes about ten minutes.

4. Create ByLaws/have first meeting. * You need a president, V.P., Treasurer and Secretary to do this. You can have more board members if you like, however. Just limit how many family members you have on board. The more you have, the more IRS will frown upon it (I listed 1 only).

The mission statement should be no longer than 1-2 sentences.

(I basically found one online and then customized it).

Things to know:

-You can re-reimburse for mileage.

-Decide how often you want to have meetings (most are quarterly).

-A legal meeting must consist of 3 members at least.

-Secretary should always take notes; these are very important.

-Volunteer hours should be recorded.

-The Secretary MUST date and sign the last page of Bylaws.

5. Create a bank account for the organization. 2 people must be on the account from the board.

6. Have each member sign a Conflict of Interest Policy form (I found one online).

7. Form 1023 !!! (*Sarcasm, sarcasm*)

You can't do this until you have that approved from back from the Secretary of State; this makes the organization officially incorporated.

This form is found on the IRS website.

This has A LOT of questions, and I have somewhat of a guide that helped me to fill it out.

After filling it out, then there are many attachments necessary to complete the form.

8. After approximately 6 months, the IRS should approve this, and then the org is granted tax exempt status.

Then the organization can officially apply for GRANTS, which will provide y'all with the necessary funds to do whatever you would like to do! Of course, they should be fund raising already.

You can find more help about all of this information, and can get advice, at the Small Business Development Center in Dallas- and it's absolutely FREE!!!

Hope this helps!!!

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream."

-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

Steps to Starting Your Own Nonprofit Organization

1. Dream. It all starts with an idea.

2. Test out your business idea, research it and make sure the idea is a good one.

3. Reserve your business/organization name.

4. Design a logo (or ask someone that can to do this for you) and order business cards.

5. Decide who your trusted board members are, and invite them to your first meeting.

6. Incorporate your business.

7. Create (or copy, paste and modify) bylaws.

8. Create a bank account (and keep receipts for everything).

- somewhere in between, have your first meeting (Notes, notes, notes! Record those volunteer hours!) -

9. Create an excel budget worksheet.

10. Create bylaws.

11. Form 1023 - Fill in the blanks.

12. Form 1023 - Complete the requested attachments.

13. Form 1023- Look through and verify directions for the attachments.

14. Take a break from form 1023 before you lose your mind.

15. Come back to form 1023 and review everything.

16. Make an appointment with the Small Development Center in your area.

I'm here, I'm here!! Can we all just take a moment to celebrate Peace Tree Africa's progress thus far?! When we look back this way, it looks (and feels) really good. But nothing was more encouraging than the look on Chuck's face when I spread out all of the loose pages of that evil form and its' attachments.

Once I found out that the Small Business Development Center was available to me, for FREE, I scheduled an appointment, and a week later I was sitting with Chuck, Director of the Governmental Programs Division. I didn't know where to start, so I spread out my documents for him to see and pulled out my list of questions. He read over the Activities narrative, and after a brief explanation of PTA's goals, he looked at me, shook his head yes and said, "this will work". He responded to my questions of worry and doubt, and was sure to let me know that I was already on the right track; apparently, most people visit him for the wrong reasons, or with out a business sense at all, and the fact that I had already taken initiative had made an impression on him. He warned me that it would take several + months for the IRS to approve our forms (and provide us with tax-exempt status), but that he felt the organization would succeed because it is unique.. .and because I am DETERMINED it to happen. Hey, he even gave me an awesome contact!!

I made an appointment for Monday. I'm going to complete the 3 years of budget estimations (which by the way, are only a rough estimate of what you think it will be like), and bring in all of the final documents for Chuck's review before sending off for IRS approval. I've never been so excited for paper work to be filed! And from there, my friends, I believe that step # 17 will be marketing, fund raising and grant writing.

The wind knocks down the beautiful wooden statues, and then proceeds to close the pages in the album I had spent hours creating the night before. It seemed like everything else was against me. We had been sitting at this table since early morning, and it was now striking noon; 3 bracelets were sold. But I knew better than the wind, and I felt the complete opposite at the core of me, where I felt the strength and love from everyone I was there for. Where I felt my worldly purpose, that was something that nothing could discourage.

Since my last entry, I have been drowning in the mumbo jumbo of IRS form 1023. This document has taken so much time, energy, and has added so much stress.. But it will open doors to the next chapter of this organization. Once we receive tax exempt status, we will be able to apply for grants..which means funding for the first tour, which means the purchase of merchandise, and more exchanges with interested stores, etc etc etc.. Of course, there are lots of other details to remember in between.

We need a broker. Apparently, they help us with import tax and shipments. We need more contacts, and marketing. We need the website to look better before we can start pushing people TO the site, though. We need posters and brochures to inform people of our mission. We need a budget! We have to know how much exactly we need, before requesting what we need from other organizations. We're tangled up in a web of things, with a small view of the way out! I'm so excited for it all.

I hope that this is read by someone who has hope for their own organization, or for a dream that is difficult for everyone else to see.. Don't let go! It's all just a series of steps to the next level. Here is to everyone who knows what they need to do at the core of them.

These pictures feature my dad, Grandma and Casey, as well as our new dog! She is 5 years old, a mix of Australian Cattle dog and Corgi. She was given up by her owner because he was no longer financially able to take care of her. We found her online and knew that she was a sweetheart! When we left with her, there was a parade of people saying goodbye and how great of a dog she is. Now she starts her new, spoiled life with us!

* Basically, this says that the US Ambassador confirms that the US and Cameroon are trading more goods. This is great for the development of Cameroon, and to fight against poverty & corruption. The «African Growth and Opportunity Act » will offer more advantages now to those wishing to help import African goods from Cameroon!

Par Alain aloys Balla Balla

Vendredi, 05 Février 2010 16:45

L’ambassadeur des Etats Unis a été reçu en audience ce jeudi par le président Camerounais.

Reçue en audience hier Jeudi 04 Février 2010, l’ambassadeur des Etats unis au Cameroun, Janet Elisabeth Garvey a clairement dit au Président Paul Biya que son pays s’engage plus que par le passé à aider le Cameroun à se développer. Washington compte luter contre la pauvreté et la corruption à Yaoundé.

Les relations bilatérales entre le Cameroun et les Etats unis prennent un coup de pousse sur le plan économique, à en croire Janet Garvey, la diplomate américaine qui a eu un entretient hier avec le chef d’Etat Camerounais. L’ambassadeur des Etats unis confirme que son pays s’engage de plus bel dans la promotion des exportations des produits camerounais aux USA et celles des USA au Cameroun.

Le Cameroun est donc en droit de s’attendre à une remontée de son économie grâce aux avantages qu’offrent la loi sur les opportunités d’affaire «African Growth and Opportunity Act » adopté par le congrès américain en 2000 et dont Janet Garvey entend accélérer le processus dans les tout prochains jours.

Connue sous le nom AGOA, le but de cette loi est, en effet, de soutenir l'économie des pays africains en leur facilitant l'accès au marché américain s'ils suivent les principes de l'économie libérale. Janet Garvey annonce pour ce faire l’ouverture à Douala et à Yaoundé de deux bureaux constitués d’experts qui tableront essentiellement sur des questions purement économiques.

Autre annonce forte de la diplomate américaine, c’est l’arrivée dans notre pays d’un expert du ministère de la Justice des Etats-Unis pour assister ses confrères camerounais, pendant plusieurs mois, afin de faciliter le processus d’assainissement des mœurs dans la gestion des biens publics. Les mêmes experts devraient également s’ingérer dans la gestion du budget de l’Etat afin d’y instaurer la transparence.

Par ce geste, le gouvernement américain démontre son engagement à participer dans la lutte contre la corruption et le détournement des deniers publics au Cameroun. Il propose d’ailleurs aux pouvoirs publics camerounais de les aider à rapatrier les fonds détournés et sauvegardés dans les paradis fiscaux américains.

Avant de se séparer de son hôte, le président de la République Paul Biya n’a pas manqué de faire le point sur les changements climatiques tels que débattus au sommet de Copenhague en Décembre 2009.

I've abandoned you a bit, and I realize that at this point, these entries are going to be mostly for myself. Habits are hard to break, and some hard to keep, when going through major transitional adventures in life. I would love to start writing much more- it sure felt good to release the emotions whirled up inside of me before. I felt so much more in control of time then, during my time in Cameroon. Sharing my thoughts and feelings was in fact a PART of my job as a PC Volunteer. It was part of my purpose.

Now, my purpose includes but is not limited to: being the best partner I can be for Casey, the love of my life, working for (and saving) money, being a friend to those few that have stuck it out with me, and fulfilling my duties as the president of Peace Tree Africa. Oh yes, and somehow, keeping Franck on track..which I'm becoming more discouraged with. I mean, how much can I acually do from across the ocean, without internet communication and hardly any phone time with him? Okay, so there seems to be enough to keep me busy.

We can back up to Casey to catch you up. In these past 6 months, I've learned so much. I've learned that some connections just happen fast, and you truly know it when you feel it. We connected on several different levels at the end of October, and from there it has been nothing but a joy, a more and more strengthened commitment to each other, a partnership. I've joined the best team, on the finest road to be on, in a relationship with a tone to it that I've never had, that we've promised to do whatever it takes to maintain. My lobster! That being said, I don't blame anyone for being doubtful, weary- WE would be, had our daughter told us after a month of being with a guy that she wanted to move in with him and to be with him for the rest of her life! I feel extraordinarily lucky for every moment, every fight, every discussion, every song we've played, every toothbrushing session at night and every morning that I wake up with him, whatever kind of mood or day we have in store.

I now can relate to most Americans who have a partner, want a family, and who love being at home. After a few days at the apartment, I texted Casey, "I think this is what being a homebody feels like." I never before gave myself the opportunity to settle in any place. I was always looking for the next plane on out to the next destination. But you know what? I've never wanted to nest so badly; I've never really had an interest for making pot roast, I rarely ever passed up parties for a Saturday night at home, and I certainly have never cared to do the dishes, and on top of that, to do them for anyone else but myself.. but I love that is which home! And home is now a lovely place that I share with the most wonderful man on earth!

Peace Tree Africa is my other love, where I choose to invest the rest of myself. This non-profit has the goal of promoting development in Africa through fair trade and philanthropical endeavors in African communities. I brought back a fair amount of merchandise to sell, to fundraise with, to be able to invest into more merchandise in Cameroon. I will find store owners and merchants who wish to carry the unique art, to sell, to take the profits and re-invest back into the communities of Cameroon. My mind races with projects to help the people, from solar panels at the Bandzuidjong orphanage, to supporting local businesses and funding scholarships for the youth.. but all that starts here. With the incorporation of Peace Tree Africa, the name is officially ours. The bylaws have been written. We are now in the stages of form 1023, which is for the IRS and will earn us our "tax deductible" status. After this, the steps don't get any smaller. In fact, it feels more like leaps! Out in the world to grant writing, letter writing to Oprah!! And ideas to fund the budget for the big tour we need to really water the tree and help the branches grow!! You will certainly hear more about this journey. It's more than my own, and deserves to be shared.

www.PeaceTreeAfrica.org

Just to inform you that # 25 is off the market!

Thanks,

Mefeu Napseu

Tara Smith

My Dearest Supporters,

Some of you have been supporting me over the course of the past two years

through out my journey in Cameroon, West Africa. Some of you I have come to

know in this chapter of my life. I firstly want to say THANK YOU!! You all

have your own way of making a difference! But I have just another

opportunity for you, your friends and family...

Before I left Cameroon (in June!), I promised to raise funds through the

sales of 4 quilts that were hand-made by some Muslim women groups who,

through this project, are able to send their children to school. Many of

these women don't ever leave the house in respect for their religion, and so

this is their only source of income. Another volunteer by the name of Abba

Greenleaf is the coordinator of the quilt project, and I am just the most

horrible person for not working my butt off to sell these sooner so that I

can get some funds into the hands of the women who need it very much! So I

am praying that some of you will help support! :-)

*

The following lovely hand-made African quilts are available for purchase:

*

#25 (Small tulips with pink) - $ 29.99

#21 (Small squares) - $ 39.99

#17 (Medium size) - $ 44.99

#16 (Big light blue) - $ 74.99

Please reserve your own while they last! Let me know which one you want and

I will arrange the rest. If nothing else, I hope that you will forward these

to those you think may be interested. I really hope that you can see the

beautiful detail from these photos. What wonderful Christmas gifts these

would make too!! :-)

PEACE be with you!

MEFEU NAPSEU Tara L. Smith

Returned Peace Corps Volunteer

Bare, Cameroon

2007-2009

Mlle.Tara.Smith@gmail.com

Well I've been offered a position and I'm about to make the move forward, into adult hood and paying taxes again! I am employed by ATX-BMW. They basically provide high scale customer service to BMW clients through a call center. My foot got into the door through my French fluency, since there are French speaking Canadian clients with BMW. I think it's going to be just lovely, judging from the kindness of the HR Manager, seeing the location and how it's all run. I'm excited for the challenge of a 6 week training, to lead me into making a difference and helping people out, and to do this along side people that are just as positive and happy to reach the same goal.

For the first time in a long time, I'm sitting at my computer (that works, thanks to Tyson for fixing the keyboard that has been broken since!), with unlimited online access (we paid in relation to how much time we used in Cameroon), at what I call "home" for the time-being, in Texas... and this seems like an all too ordinary, lame and unexciting in comparison to the past two years of blogs filled with inspiration, a process of learning, aggravation, gratification and love that I received from my home in Cameroon. I just finished reading Angel's blog entries too (Check out his experiences and entries at: http://goingon27.wordpress.com/), as he COS'd and finds himself now in New Jersey. What a strange whirl of feelings you get when you're texting once again with PCVs all around the country- except this time, texts are unlimited, and you know that you would have to take a plane to see some of them again. We will remain connected through what now feels like a dream. As my postmate, Tim Hartman, said it, "I don't feel any reverse culture shock but it sure feels like we've been through a reverse time machine!"

As amazing as vacation has been, I'm glad to be back, to fully embrace being back, and actually, it kinda feels good not to have any travel plans but driving down to Houston at the moment. I'm craving stability and I'm getting closer and closer to it.

I most definitely have a more positive outlook on life as I know it, and I pray that this never changes.. a few times a day, I am reminded by the smallest things that if I can eat three times a day, and sometimes dessert, life is pretty good! I notice that, or it seems to me that so many Americans get caught up in things that don't matter all that much, that they get used to wanting, wanting, wanting... and forget to appreciate all the so-called little things. Furthermore, for me personally, it feels like such less to help my sister with the dishwasher (dishwasher! haha) or to pick up something from the store for my mom. This may come partly from my newfound respect for elders, or just a different take on responsibility and what needs to be done. Or probably part of me is enjoying any sort of collectivity or solidarity- in a place where you don't even know most of your neighbors, where people don't come over and demand food, where no children offer to help you clean the house, where your mode of transportation is a spacious car rather than a junkyard car packed with 7 kids, 2 babies and 3 goats in the trunk... I can admit that I jump at the chance to be apart of a group or to connect with someone whenever it's possible. I knew everything was going to be this way. And I know that I will adapt once again.

The few people in Cameroon that have e-mail addresses are keeping in touch with me pretty well, which is nice. Ofourse, my son Franck has already lost his cell phone that I gave him and never gets into his inbox that I helped him set up!! Just like anyone with a teenage son, it drives me nuts and even more so because I have no way to yell at him for all of this; I miss him, and every part of our relationship. The good times and the bad, frustrating, angered times, were all worth it to see him become who he is now. My biggest fear is that I won't get to better witness his growing up. Every few nights, I have dreams about getting into his school to see him, or trying to find him. This is hopefully what the rest of my Cameroonian family will do in country, and through them will let him know still how angry I am for not hearing from him, and in turn update me. I'm thankful that Cameroonians are so "together" with those they love, so that I don't always have to feel so far away. The people that hold special places in my heart will also always hold me in theirs, and this gives me a peace of mind.

Because I need a peace of mind as I find myself staring at a computer for hours on end, searching for the perfect position for me, so that I can jump back into working and paying bills and everything else that people do! I will spend many more hours searching- I'm terrified of doing something that doesn't make an impact or a difference, and I won't quit until I get to do that.. But I will find something... with the prayers and blessings of the entire population of Bare, Cameroon, what else can I do but rest assure that I will find the perfect fit??...

We went to Philippines' top-rated game show! There were beautiful dancers, performers and silly games. Even though most of it was in Tagalong, it was a fantastic time! I did the giling giling (a dance) and was chosen to play Hip hip horay! Sadly, I only made it to the top 6 or so. But I got some free whitening products! Haha. Isiak sang DURING the actualy show, with the host Willie. Willie had seen Isiak's video on richieartwork on youtube, and that's how we got in actually. It was really cool. He did an amazing job. Now we can't leave the house without someone recognizing the big, black guy who sings Tagalong on Wowowee!

Photos from Embassy club.

We've touched down on Manila, where we are staying with Tita Jenny and Tito Fernando, and their daughter Audrey. They live in a beautiful two story house, that's not huge but doesn't feel small iether, fenced in within a gate, yet again gated as the community of Green Park village. If that doesn't keep us safe, the 8 dogs will! I realize how unshocked I will be of things for the rest of my life- I'm disappointed on some level.. the crazy driving, cheap food, hand-holding, cold showers, big avacados, and the way people walk across traffic without a care in the world. But there are a few differences, ofcourse there are- like the polite way that nationals ask for things, their shy-ness. The way they eat mangoes, simply cutting two sides off of the core and peeling it out of the sides, instead of devouring it with your hands after peeling the entire thing (I prefer the savage, animalistic way). Taxis are different; there are jeepnies and "tricycles", which are basically motorcycles with a side-car to carry passengers in. More people drive their own cars here though. The food, which is delicious so far! MASARAP! Some people are more into how they look and cosmetics. I got a two hour facial, which they told me more than I wanted to know about myself just by looking at my face! And now, for the first time, I have not one single pimple, black or white heads, nor any beginnings of one! I tried a cake with frosting made from tarot root, which was amazing- but I've known it to be tasteless and dry. It must be another kind. It's sweet and delicious. I've noticed more begging children, living under bridges and apparently doing what they can to support the rest of the family. I wonder what is different in the cultures of Cameroon and Philippines. I hardly ever saw children living out doors, nd certainly no family that the rest of the family had abandoned. Could Cameroon be more collective? With more independence comes freedom, women's progression, and more advantage maybe, but it comes also with more suffering for those at the bottom of the chain, it seems. I have visited around Manila and am really looking forward to the beach and underground river in the Palawan, where I will also meet up with John, another Peace Corps Volunteer in the area!

"When the people tell you something, this is a message of God. And what they say you are, God says you are."

-Priest Michel, Founder of Kentaja Association

Before I completed my service, I was able to finish my last project, along with the great team of people that did it with me. After meeting the wonderful Priest Michel Djaba, I could feel how much he cared for every orphan within Kentaja Association, the one he founded to house abandoned children in three different centers in Cameroon. It was this feeling that motivated me to help his association whatever way I could, and soon enough, I was fundraising for a water well in Bandzuidjong. I fell upon all the right people from that point on, from Aladji Feukep who installed the well, to Angel who is an excellent project coordinator, down to the generous contributions from strangers that otherwise would have made the completion of the well possible.

The ceremony was amazing (see the photos a few blog posts back). I have never had so much fun drinking water, nor have I ever felt that someone was more joyous and thankful about anything. My Bangou family even came in numbers to support me. And because the people of Bandzuidjong honored me so much for helping them with the well, they gave me a title - Mefeu Napseu ("Queen that Arranges Things"). I got to wear everything traditionally bamileke: a top, a skirt made of traditional Bamileke fabric, a hat that only notables can wear, and an especially unique bag made with magistrate monkey hair. The chief's representative (the actual chief is 15 and was probably still in school when we were inaugurating the well) let me sit in his chair and take photos with him, which is a big honor. I was given several peace trees (which symbolize peace), some peanuts to share with my village (sharing the peanuts are symbolic too), and a chicken (chickens are expensive and given to important, respected people). I even was given a special cup that I could now drink out of along-side my notable friends. Ofcourse, there was then dancing, great food, and drinking. I already knew that I had made a difference, but to be initiated into this village as a queen was honorable. Most of all, what I really took away from this ceremony was a benediction that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. One Bandzuidjong told me, "We are very poor, so there is not much we can give you. But you will always have the prayers of this village." This is much more than I could ask for, and more gratifying that I ever thought it could be. I want to arrange more things!!!

I feel as if a fast-forward button on my life was pushed, and now I find myself in this crazy, new, fast-paced and lovely world called the USA. I could tell you all about my last few weeks, sad goodbyes, the fear of leaving and surviving without piment pepper for a year, and my breakdown in the plane that so much resembled the the one I had leaving Texas just 2 years ago, but I don't know what I can say other than it was all bittersweet and surreal. I tried my best not to complicate but instead enjoy my last moments there...and I think I did an okay job at it. But as Angel said, a small piece of us will stay in Cameroon, and a part of me is definitely still there. Being back to this place that hasn't changed much with the exception of technology taking over more people's lives, I feel like a different person stepping into a new chapter. My life perspective has changed completely, and so have I. I proudly completed my two years' of doing the absolute best work that I was capable of, I became a mother, a project coordinator, a firm believer in faith, and I became a difference in someone else's life. I'm only scared that the next chapter won't be able to compete with that, but at least I know more about who I am and I know what my priorities are. I want to continue to make a difference!

Should I continue this blog? I thought about it, wondering if it would really be all that interesting to continue describing a life that everyone knows about. So maybe it won't be as interesting as it was before... no more stories about becoming a queen or killing chickens. I will probably write less. But I want to invite you to the next chapter, in my continuation of working toward that same idea of peace. I do have a few ideas about how I'm going to do that... :-)

Following are a series of photos I have taken of Smith, my homonyme baby. He is getting bigger and bigger by the day, eating and sleeping and eating! The only one with his eyes open I look bad in, haha. He doesn't like the flash. There is a picture of me and my hands in holding a snot-like sauce; that is ncuit, a dish that is made most often for women that just gave birth. It apparently has 14 different condiments and work well to clean the stomach. This is my victory photo, after finally really learning how to cut it and eat! If you aren't careful, you can end up pouring it all out, or swallowing it all at once!

It was just 8 months ago that Ernest and I shared a beer over the news that his wife, Unity, was pregnant, with who he had decided would be my namesake. "A child is the biggest gift I can give you." he honored me as his best friend. Then he explained, "When you give a child the name of someone, it is with the hope that the child will have some of the characteristics of that person. You don't just name a child after anyone." Since that day, I have taken my namesake very seriously. I decided that I wanted to be involved in every step of the way. After learning so much about togetherness and family, I figured that I should also learn all about how to make a family too. I went to Unity's doctor appointments with her so often that the doctor would give me updates and let me listen to the heart beat. We looked at the ultrasound together, showing us that he would be a boy. From then on, he was known as SMITH FONDJA TERRELL. I became obsessed with touching her belly and feeling the numerous kicks (like me, he likes to dance).

The day she started having contractions, she swore that Smith was kicking at the bottom of her uterus and way just wasn't being made for him. It had been 9 months and three days of the world awaiting him, so I was anxious and more than willing to take her to the hospital to check it out. The doctor forbid her to go home, as she was 3 cm dialated. I panicked a little inside. I thought it might go faster, like in the films, so I did not know that there would be another TEN hours of pain and suffereing before Smith made his entrance! I called my mom and texted friends. I walked around the hospital with Unity during her contractions, squatting down with her as they came (Mom told me that would help advance the labor). I learned that sugar was supposed to help the process along too, and as long as Unity was crying "I want to be free", it was my priority. I forced her to eat cookies and down a cup of sugar water. As her last meal, what she really wanted was pork meat, like her usual craving was... that would be in a bed pan just a few hours later.

When her contractions became worse, her sister, having already had 7 births and unimpressed, was sleeping. But all I could do was watch or pray for the birth to be done and over with. She grabbed on to walls and, prayed herself and made some of the most painful sounds I had ever heard. There were times it was as if she was possessed, eyes rolling into the back of her head, inconscient of the curtains she was pulling at or the her imbalance. She moved her body in whatever way possible to make the contraction easier. Two things kept coming to mind: "It is amazing the way she is creating life" and "if the Bible is accurate, then man! Why did Eve bite into that apple?!!" because there is so much suffering involved! Ernest had left but returned at midnight. As she grabbed on to various things, he prayed or sang religious songs. She would say that she was going to die, and then Ernest would snap back in pidgin, "you se wetti!! You no die!" It was quite funny in retrospect. He turned to me a couple of times and said, "Franck may be right". A few nights ago, Franck had dreamt that Smith would be born at 1h45 AM. It was now after midnight and Unity was getting so tired that she started to doze off in between contractions. Then finally she called the doctor.

The two of us walked into the labor room and closed the door. "You want to have the baby?" the doctor asked very calmly in French.."Okay, get on the table." Unity changed her mind and refused a couple of times before I obliged her. As sweet and calm as Unity is, that night she was the most stubborn woman I had ever seen. I was curious and nervous, but mostly all I felt was the fear and pain radiating from Unity. The doctor confirmed that she was definitely dialated enough, and told me to stand where I could see her break Unity's water. Then she asked for Unity's baby bag which I ran to the other room to get. While the doctor prepped the room, Unity screamed that the baby would come without her. But finally, as I held her arm and she almost ripped my shirt off, she let out a frightful and wrenching yell as she pushed. I reminded myself to stay calm as a dark blue thing started to come out. He wasn't moving at the ambilical chord was wrapped around his neck. Without telling Unity, I looked up at the clock and prayed. It read exactly 1h45. The doctor gently unwrapped the chord and the rest of the baby came out, blue and white and crying. She layed Smith on Unity's stomach as she cut the chord, and I tried to grab his head that was hanging off the side of her tummy, but she told me not to, that he would not fall. "You're free, Unity!! Smith is here!!" I told her. With a look, she told me, "Never again." Smith weighed over 4 kilos- he is so big, they say because he eats a lot like me! After bundling him up, he handed him to me. He was still blue, and I noticed his big lips. I could already tell that his eyes were like Unity's. I had asked what would happen with the chord, and when the time came, she pressed down on Unity's stomach and the placenta came out. I won't describe the details but I will say that it weighed a good kilo. That was Smith's house for the past 9 months and 4 days, I thought. Every vitamin, every touch, every voice, was transmitted through this bubble he was in. But now Smith had come into the world, and I was happy and relieved to finally be so close to him. I introduced him to his father outside the room as they walked Unity to another bed, and as we walked down the hall way, I told him in French, "You're the one we've been waiting so long for!"

I couldn't sleep that night, I think partly because of the adrenaline that was within me and partly because I was traumatized by the event. After talking to Angel, who had happened to call just as we were in the delivery room, and my mom, all I wanted to do was watch Smith.. He cried most of the night because he was already hungry.

Amazing, weird, gross... there are so many words I could use to describe it. "Would you do it?" a few people have asked me since; my answer is "Absolutely". When the man of my life is there beside me, willing to hold me and be there undoubtedly for us, I will experience the creation of life. They say that you forget once you've got the baby in your arms. Well, there is no way I can forget that night, but I know that it does something to me when I hold him, and if it feels anything like this, I will deem my going through it all worth it. Yeah, I still want one!

He was born at 1h45 in the morning, just like Franck had dreamt a few days before! Here are some photos of Smith with the proud family the morning of his birth at the hospital. These include me, Franck, Tim (volunteer in Nkongsamba), Ernest (proud father and my best friend), and Unity (proud mother).

Smith's first photo, taken just seconds after exiting the labor room! I was the first one to hold him, as I was the only one, besides the doctor, in the room as she delivered! It was amazing! A blog to come very soon!

Voila les photos of the inauguration for the office building and latrines and that were contructed for the CEBEC primary school!

Voila les photos of the inauguration of the latrines and construction of the office building for the CEBEC primary school!

This is Unity, Ernest's wife, who is carrying SMITH! He currently weighs 2.4 kilos and is due on May 27th!!!

Killer is my neighbor cat that visits me often and like her name, kills the mice that have tried to take over my house!

What you see here is koki, a traditional dish from my province of the Mbo people, made from crushed koki beans, wrapped in banana leafs and mixed with piment and palm oil, that is cooked (also see the traditional oven here) to produce koki itself! We celebrated Abby's birthday in her village, about an hour away from my town of Bare.

I’m learning…

That you don’t get mad alone

That you don’t get happy alone

That you find yourself amidst others

That you figure it out that way

I’m learning…

That home is not your house, or your things, your space or your time

Home is a feeling, a peace-of-mind, a blanket of love around you

I’m learning…

That love can’t be seen in a phone call, picture or a letter

That it can’t be felt in words of affection

That it can be felt in absolutely everything

Because it’s so much larger than that

And that security is a fence you build, together and in yourself

A fence that is constantly repaired, opened and closed

I’m learning…

That you can be together and free

Amidst the stars, the only light to guide you

And it’s enough to follow the path

That you can be alone and overwhelmed

By all that is with you

I’m learning…

That you don’t have to sing to enjoy the music

But that great things are better when you do them

Even if there is just one person to see it, or no person to see..

I’m learning…

That pride enables nothing

That letting God work through you is enough

That helping others helps you

That giving everything away makes you feel free

That you sincerely and deeply win more that way

That when you give yourself away, you gain so much more

I’m learning…

That my dreams are pretty simple:

To succeed in good health

Aim for the stars

Land in someone’s arms

Create new life

Contribute to the lives around me

After all, I’m an Indigo child- teaching new ways to love, how to love

I dream of living in love, giving and taking and sharing and teaching

I’m learning…

That every pain is a lesson

That every joy is a gift

That God is with you either way

And that faith is under-estimated

“You aren’t important until other people tell you that you are.”

–Ernest Fondja, my best Cameroonian friend and counterpart

This entry is dedicated to my brother, Mr. SOP Angel Velarde…because I know he won’t fully explain it himself. Humility. Angel has taught me a few things about humility, in his every day effort to be humble himself, which I have to say he has pulled off very well. So he wouldn’t say what a fabulous volunteer he is, but I will. I was once told that you’re not important until other people tell you that you are, and so I will take on this bragging right, firstly because I don’t think anyone in Bangou has a way to discuss it themselves, and secondly because I am extremely proud to see my fellow Texan Peace Corps brother and one of my best friends work so hard and to be so successful.

In addition to Angel’s over all uninhibited (this is what I feel best describes Angel) attitude, who isn’t afraid to do or say just about anything, and his ability to truly adapt to his community, he rather even seeks to understand Bamilike culture, and to be apart of it. His counterpart Aladji, has been an extremely positive influence in every aspect of his adaptation and development work. Angel helped to put together a multimedia lab in Bangou, providing internet access and promoting technology education to his fellow community members, but his biggest project has been the creation of AADB, American Association for the Development of Bangou ( www.AADB.org ). Within this official non-profit organization, Angel has distributed educational scholarships and sporting equipment to various schools, and funded and constructed a community latrine in the center of town, just to name a few- and through AADB, Angel has committed himself to be apart of the mission to support sustainable development in Bangou for the rest of his life.

And this is why the chief of Bangou named Angel a notable- a remarkable, unforgettable, worker of worldly development, who has notably made a difference in his community.

Like most celebrations, it lasted two days. Many nationalities gathered Friday, where we drank and danced… I fully took on my womanly responsibility of hosting and serving drinks to the Cameroonians (something I would have absolutely refused to do probably two years ago), and enjoyed seeing everyone enjoy the festivities. The big day was Saturday, though. Angel went to the ceremony in just a white shirt and pants, until he was called into the secret meeting, where all I know is that he was to change. His attire included a shirt/robe, with a hat and a stick that was attached to a big bag. He told me that his pants were inside the bag. Of course, like every other big event, there was a lot of waiting… for the grand personalities, for things to come together as they were supposed to…. But eventually Angel was standing in front of the chief, alongside Aladji, who also received a higher title than previously, listening to the titles being given out to everyone in the group. Angel was then officially given the title of SOP, the highest title one is able to receive without being a part of the family, that signifies sustainable development work in the world. After being named, he greeted various people, spoke with the media, and took about a thousand photos (many of which are on my camera, as I played the role of photographer that day). He was given a large bag of meat, which smelled terrible, but was to represent the fact that he would always provide for his family; he shared the meat with different people in the sea of people.

I am definite that there were other things happening, which Aladji could explain in all of his wisdom in regard to history and tradition, but this is what I experienced, before returning to Mr. le Notable’s house for the celebration of red wine and sauce jaune and tarot (something delicious that you have to eat as a notable, that you absolutely must eat with your hands!).

Maybe on some level I am proud because Angel’s representing us Texans well, or because he is one of my best friends, or because I had the honor of being right there beside him and helping see it all through- but mainly it’s because I don’t think any other volunteer deserves it as much as he does. Angel’s legend will live on, notably and unforgettably, among the Bangou people as well as volunteers that applaud everything that he has worked for. And for that, I think Mr. SOP Angel Velarde fits deservingly and perfectly.

My next blog will be all about the wonderful KEBOUH festival and the pride of seeing my fellow Peace Corps brother installed as a Prince in his village of Bangou! But here is a pic to wet your appetit!! Cheers to Mr. Sop Angel Velarde...

During the KEBOUH cultural festival in Bangou, West Province in the land of the Bamilike's, we were invited to perform! Angel, from Bangou, myself, a Japanese volunteer along with a few Cameroonians on the tam-tams got it together and did it! We performed Hotel California, Still The One and No Woman No Cry. People were dancing and cheering, so I think they liked it pretty well.

So the day finally came that felt so very far away when we all were jumping into this adventure together! Close Of Service was discussed at my last conference among all the Peace Corps family I've made here. I suppose that they feel we have suffered enough, so we were put in the nicest, most luxurious hotel in the capital! There was a pool, and hot, high pressure water in the bath tubs- yes; bath TUBS!! With shower curtains and everything! But the best part was reconnecting with all the friends that are both the same and yet very different, reflecting on how far we have come and trying to figure out where we will go from here...

Following are photos of us remaining from the original 39 strangers we arrived as. One of these are just me with my 'posties' or postmates, Tim and Autumn, who live just minutes away, and ofcourse, Texas had to re-unite for our own proud photo! Haha. We are looking forward to going out on Dallas at some point in the future!

I have been close friends with Bakari for about a year. After English club last year, he engaged himself in the Club Success that Tim and I created together at the school, and it certainly would not be as successful without him. During the feast of lamb, I accepted to accompany him to a cultural soiree, when I became curious about the Muslim religion. And since, he has come to my house almost every day to talk about English, or culture or whatever comes up. I am lucky to have such a friend so open and curious.

So last night, he mentioned that he had not prayed three times that day, and I told him that I would pray with him. "Are you ready to become Muslim?" he smiled. "No, but I am ready to pray." We both stood on my rug barefoot, before he taught me a phrase I wasnt sure would come out of my mouth. "Why do you pray in Arab, not French?" He told me that Muslims believe that God favors those who speak the language.. "oh, you need something to cover your head.".. "Why?" He responded, "to remove temptation from the devil, because your head is sacred." His eyes looked up and then said he would fully explain when he found out. I grabbed the small, blue sheet on the chair and put covered my head anyway. He showed me how to sit, with both feet touching the ground; "when you pray, your feet pray too" he said. The next thing he said meant 'You are the beginning and the end.' "When you bow, you first look where you will put your forehead, and when you bow, your nose touches the ground too.

Incase you did not know, Muslim means 'Submission' in Arab. Submission to God; the goal is to submit yourself completely and unconditionally to God. And I will not ignore the fact that there are many negative ideas and beliefs, as well as acts comitted just like every other group of people, that have created a negative stereotype for Muslims in America, but I will say that all of the Muslims I have met here are wonderful- humble, calm, at peace... something I admire and wish I could eminate from within my own self. And while I disagree with many of the view on females (having to ask permission before leaving the house, unable to pray without when they are on their period, and some believe that women should not look at men in the eyes), I can appreciate the main goal, especially learning from a man who promises to cook for his wife one day, despite the tantrums his conservative grandmother throws when he enters a kitchen. He practices because it helps him reach peace, because he wants to submit himself to peace, service, education and all the other things that should be God's will. We can all respect that.

So while I didnt understand everything Bakari said in his prayer, I did catch him looking at his hands to then rub on his face and body. When I asked, he explained that the idea is that your prayers become part of you- what God wants for you. He looked to his left and then right. "Its like you have two angels, one on your right who writes down all of the good you do, and to your left, one who records all of the bad. You must ask God to look over them, and after death, prophet Mohammed will look at these and then decide where you will go." Okay, I said. "What role does this play in your prayer?" I held his beads, threaded together- like a small necklace that I had noticed.. "this isnt necessary to pray, but its like OMO". "What?" I said. "OMO, the soap. It helps you to keep clean. It reminds me of whats important, what I am praying for." I liked that thought, and decided at that moment to get my own, and make a list of things I want to constantly pray for and concentrate myself on also.

I dont want to be Muslim, nor Caltholic, nor Protestant nor Buddhist. I just want to know God, which is to know love and to live with a peace inside myself and everything I do.

New York will declare March 22nd as WORLD WATER DAY!!!

Thanks to our generous contributer to the Water For Orphans project, Lavona, the Congress have been convinced to declare this day of national recognition for the need of potable water all over the world!

Tim, the SED Volunteer in Nkongsamba, Bakari, my good friend who introduced us to Muslim culture, and myself! I don't like to dance... sarcasm, sarcasm!

I connected with the Muslim community, through a good friend of mine, Bakari, this past weekend. Here are some photos of the traditional henna they did for me, and with the wedding party. It was very interesting. The bride had to remain covered from the husbands family for about two days- until they gave everything that she and her family asked for, or otherwise her dowery. It seemed like we were the ones that got to have all the fun. I was worried that she didn't even want to become married,and was afraid of being given away from her family, but later found out that Muslim women have the most power in their marriage at the beginning, that there is a very fine line between the official marriage and not being married, so the husband is obligated to really try to make the bride and her family happy, especially in the beginning.

Aladji, a very important notable and development agent, is Angels (my fellow Texan PCV)best friend in Bangou, and so I took part in the celebration of the death of of his father that happened last year. Funeral celebrations in the West, Bamilike province, are always a joyous and elaborate experience filled with food, wine, dancing and tradition that I would not want to miss! I have absolutely never enjoyed a funeral so much!

The two photos featuring Franck are from Youth Day, a National holiday where children parade and dance in the streets to celebrate their youth. I went to Nkongsamba to share the fetstivities with Franck. He really enjoyed the grilled fish that I bought for him.

The last photo is just to let you know how traveling looks like in Cameroon most of the time, when I cant flag down a private car.. huge buses; with all the baggage on top, including goats. This photo was taken on way back from Yaounde, when a tire literally flew off the bus, and we sat there stuck for a few hours before catching another car. Ouai! On va faire comment?

The following photos are from Bangangte, with my original Cameroonian family. Two sisters were both baptized; you can see them both wearing white in these photos.

Water For Orphans Water Well Project in Badzuidjong, West Province

The last few weeks have been filled with schedules, to do lists, and spending quality time with people here that I really care about. This is much like what our Peace Corps horoscope (a prediction of feelings and how to cope with throughout our service) said we would be doing when Tim and I looked over that same piece of paper again. I am in my last four months, as Education volunteers leave in early summer, just after school is out. But I am hardly worried about finishing classes at the high school where I work. What consumes me more is the excitement of the next chapter, the fear of leaving this life behind, and simply trying to take it all in and enjoy every moment. Between teaching lessons, preparing radio shows, funeral celebrations, writing in my post book to help prepare the next volunteer who replaces me, meetings about future projects (The School Development project was fully funded- the bureau AND the latrines, thanks to generous contributors and Friends of Cameroon!!!), and spending time with my family and friends, including wanting to be a part of every step in my good friend’s pregnancy, it hardly leaves me any time to sit and reflect on this life. I am so busy living it.

I did partake in my host family’s huge Baptism celebration last weekend. My little sisters, the oldest and the youngest, were both baptized. When I arrived, the backyard was full of about twenty women, preparing for the party, and a few men were burning the hair off of a pig they had just killed. When it felt like it was about to pour down raining, I looked next to the fire where there was a glass bottle containing water boiling with a piment pepper inside. When I asked about it, they told me that it was to stop the rain. All I could do was chuckle, half-convinced that it worked in some way, because it never did rain, no matter how dark the clouds became. So I peeled garlic until my finger nails were sore, and cut enough tomatoes to fill up a bucket- I did what any good Bamilike (a Cameroonian from the West province) girl would do! And in the end, we all shared the joy of eating all of these great dishes alongside the neighbors, friends and other family members who united with us to share the happiness of that day.

ON VOUS GARDE POUR QUE VOUS GARDIEZ: We saved you something so that you will save!

Well we did it! The volunteers in my province and I carried out the Piggy Bank project that I have been coordinating with Tim for the past year! We went to 7 different high schools, in the course of two weeks, and sent the message out to children that saving money is an important value that can make their future brighter!

During the course of each seminar there were roles for the five Peace Corps Volunteers involved. We started each event by handing out 100 numbered tickets to the students, which were taken in exchange for a piggy bank or caisse at the end of each seminar. Dan Lillis served as a wonderful bouncer when organizing the excited students and making sure things never became too chaotic! Once the children were settled into their seats, Tara Smith, an Education Volunteer, would give a brief introduction of Peace Corps and the participating volunteers. Following, Abigail Hyduke and Dan Lillis, both Agro-forestry Volunteers, performed a sketch comparing two students – one who saved and one who didn’t. Tim Hartman, a Small Enterprise Development Volunteer, then analyzed the sketch and pointed out important aspects and described them in depth. He highlighted three important reasons to save: for emergencies, for big purchases, and to follow their dreams. Autumn Brown, another Small Enterprise Development Volunteer, then involved the kids in an activity in which they calculated their necessary and non necessary purchases, showing them that saving little by little works out to a lot in just a few years. The kids were always very excited when giving real-life examples of saving money. We encouraged the continuation of this energy when Tara Smith would teach them The Savings Song, a beat used from a popular Cameroonian song which the lyrics were modified to motivate the children to save. We collaboratively created and performed a dance to go along with the song, an illustration of putting coins into piggy banks (see the video on youtube!). Watching five Americans sing and dance was a great way to end the seminar. We were hoping that this song would remind and encourage the kids to save, and when leaving the school after the seminar, we would often times hear the kids singing the song and dancing along with their piggy banks… this is when we knew that the project was successful.

THANK YOU to all those who contributed- for believing in the project, in our work, and in the children that are the future of Cameroon.

Get a closer look at the project from videos that are soon to come at www.youtube.com under the username of Mlle.Tara.Smith.