At christmastime her and other church going women walk around at midnight to sing and pray over nativity scenes people decorate their houses with throughout the community. She comes up with clever poems to praise Mary and the Baby. Sometimes for the entertainment of the crowd she'll toss a bawdy poem or song in for laughs.

Lydia can't sing, but she still lifts her voice loudly for every verse of every song.

Mamita learned to read when she was 66. She is now 67.

Mamita scolds her grandchildren for not appreciating having a school in their community. It is safe and very close to her house, so is the church but she only goes for special occasions.

Her house is known for celebrations with the women's movement. After meetings they go to her house to let their hair down and eat and drink alcohol without judgement of not being "proper". In a society where even married women are gossiped about for bending social rules, these women know that her house is a haven from societal pressure.

She loves everybody;I mean everybody. If she has met you, she loves you. She will worry about you. If you go to her house she'll do everything she can to take care of you. Hospitable does not begin to describe her.

One time I told her that my dad brings my mom coffee in bed every morning. The next day her husband was yelling from the opposite side of the house, while laying in a hammock, to fetch him some coffee. She was doing housework at the time and even though she heard him bellow she ignored him. He went to look for her to tell her to bring him coffee. She yelled at him, "You have two hands and two feet. Walk over there and make it yourself!" And he did.

She as a quick wit, sparkling eyes, and a very kind face. Years of suffering have only made her want to share love and kindness with everyone.

Mamita takes care of the house as a labor of love for her grandkids. Luckily her family can afford help for her because she can no longer do it all by herself.

Lydia brought 5 children into the world but only got to see 3 grow to be strong and capable women.

She still mourns the loss of her son and daughter who died in the Salvadoran civil war.

Lydia has marched on the capital of El Salvador for many causes: rights for women, poor, the worker, and for politics.

Lydia plucks out her gray hairs because she says that they itch. Most of her hair is still jet black and wavy even at 67. She still has some vanity.

The first time that Mamita told me that I was like a daughter to her and told me she loved me, I told her that I loved her too and she started crying.

She is beloved by everyone in the community because she loves everyone. She loves me and thinks of me as a daughter. I think of her as a mom. I've been very lucky to have known so many wonderful women in my life, but she ranks in the top 3. I love her dearly.

This is a snapshot of what a person born in 1984 has lived through:

Operation Desert Storm started at age 6 1990-1991

Rwandan Genocide occurred at age 9

Oklahoma City Bombing happened when age 10

Columbine age 14

Kosovo War and Genocide age 15

Enron Scandal age 16

9/11 age 18

War in Afghanistan age 18

Health South Scandal age 18

Operation Iraqi Freedom age 19

VA Tech Massacre age 22

Genocide in Darfur, Sudan started age 18 ended age 24

Increasing Environmental Concerns from the Ozone layer, destruction of habitats, human health issues, and Global Warming have been going on our entire lives. Our lives have been marked by major events and conflict. In a way, you could say that we have never known peace. I remember being in kindergarten and watching classmates running to greet their fathers who had just come home from war. They decided to make a special appearance at a school assembly and surprise their kids. I remember the charred carcass of a building in Oklahoma on the news. I know the fear of not trusting your classmates because of what happened at Columbine. They put metal detectors in our schools and encouraged us to label our classmates as potential threats for our own protection. I listened as people discussed greed. Not just any greed, a consuming greed that destroyed people’s livelihoods during the Enron Scandal. We were all stunned at the first announcement of the events of 9/11. We cried, we came together as a nation, and then we went to war. We haven’t come back from it yet. I watched more greed being exposed, as scandal after scandal was unveiled in the news. Wealthy men, who didn’t know what the word “enough” means, stole, lied, and cheated, three things that my parents taught me were wrong. I couldn’t comprehend, and still can’t, a greed of this magnitude. I watched as more of my fellow students were killed at the Virginia Tech Massacre.

You see, my friends, my classmates, and my generation are the ones that bear the burden. We’ve watched as the planet weakens from pollution, deforestation, and overpopulation. We had been held hostage by our youth but not anymore.

My generation was formed by the events of our past. We seek greater understanding, and greater humanitarianism from those who wield power. We want honesty in politics and accountability in the boardroom. We seek change. Many of us have become the change we seek by joining organizations like AmeriCorps and Peace Corps. Others volunteer regularly as if it were a social duty. I know my generation is seen by some as lazy, that we expect things to be handed to us. I disagree. I see my generation taking the country by storm.

Dear Free Speech,

I really love you. I truly do. You are the reason I don't get smacked around all the time for the stuff that comes out of my mouth. You are also the reason, me and my friends haven't been locked up a time or two for voicing an unpopular opinion. I know its a drag sometimes being on everybody's side but I still appreciate you. I appreciate you even when what other people say makes me so angry I want to do something violent. I wish you only belonged to me sometimes but I suppose to be fair you can't play favorites. Well, Keep up the good work. You're gonna need all the help you get as it is election season again.

Love,

your big mouthed friend

Do you seek adventure in your daily routine? Try commuting! The tragedy and pitfalls of mixing with people you wouldn't choose to speak to at the other side of your family reunion, even to be polite.

Notes, comments, and comebacks from my own personal experience on the DC metro public transportation system.

Positive:

I want to thank my blue line metro train conductor who always makes the standard announcements with a little more flair than everyone else. You make my evening commute entertaining when you say, "Doors opening on the left side" with your special pizazz. When you tell me and other passengers, "Have a wonderful evening." You are sincere. When you broke out into song to announce it was the last transfer point to the yellow line you made me laugh. I was the only one laughing in my metro train car. I really appreciate you even if the other commuters don't. You make my ride home entertaining instead of dull. I feel like a person rather than part of a herd.

Rudeness Restrained:

- Have you ever wanted to trip runners who run on congested sidewalks when work just got out and have the audacity to look pissed at you for leaving work and using the same sidewalk?

-Have you ever wanted to push that person that cuts in front of you in line, while waiting for the metro to come up, right onto the oncoming train?

Comeback Withheld:

Dear Random Commuter,

Don't assume because I look "like" you that we have the same opinions. Hate speech is not a currency. The more you have does not make you wealthier it makes you sound petty and classless. Bullying your point across shows me you are closed minded. And rather than a holier than thou and know it all attitude you might try getting off your high horse and have a conversation instead. Perhaps you're points are valid. I, however, can't believe they are true when all you've done is change the subject when I counter with a question or clarification. While I ask questions to try to find solutions you blame everyone and adopt a defeatist attitude. Side note, when you insult immigrants on one breath and smile and joke with an elderly Vietnamese man with your next, it makes you seem hypocritical, shallow, and even less credible than before. I don't know why hate fuels you and when I didn't fan your flames you called me ignorant and naive. Perhaps I am naive, but I'm willing to learn. You only look at thoughts and ideas that agree with your own so that makes you ignorant-- look at the root word "To Ignore". Perhaps you can do me a favor next time and just ignore me.

Final Thoughts:

I chose DC because I knew I could get around without a car. No public transportation system is perfect and yeah I do get upset when a bus zooms by me because they're late. I know you're late. I've been waiting for you! Even so its better than walking and better than systems in other parts of the country and better yet the world. So weary commuters, take a step back, realize you're lucky and try to be nicer to one another.

I get out of the bathroom and I see my co-worker Rose standing up and looking around. She said, "Did you feel that?" "Feel what?" I asked. "The building shook" she replied. "It was probably the trains." I said. She exclaimed, "WHAT TRAINS" Then the building shook so bad it knocked everyone's personal flair items off their desks and file cabinets. While it was shaking I looked up and realized it wasn't just some tin roof above me and diving under my desk wouldn't protect me from 3 floors of building that would be coming down on top of me. The shaking stopped. I looked at Rose. We started to talk about what just happened when a little old lady ran from one end of the building to the other ordering us to "Get out of the building!" It took me less than a second to decide if I was going to grab any of my stuff. The answer was NO. Nothing I had couldn't be replaced, and I ran faster than they thought a big girl could go. I was booking it. We had 7 floors to go down. I met another friend of mine on the steps and she was in a clear state of panic. I said to her, "Pretend like its a high school fire drill." Trying to joke off the tension. 7 floors of "calmly running" down the stairs never felt soo long. The winding staircase just made you feel trapped becuase nothing changes between the floors. Its all white walls, white floors, another landing, white walls, white floors, another landing. Finally, we get around the last bend and we see blinding white sunlight. GOOD LORD Lead me to the light at the end of the winding rat staircase. Now I know why white is the color of hope hahaha. We get outside and it is a beautiful day. We follow our happy little evacuation plan badges except I notice that they put us right between two buildings. The evacuation route has a problem. Great for fires bad for earthquakes. So I requested that we move to the empty parking lot. We all sit and joke about what happened at the moment of chaos. Somebodies boss apparently jumped up after the first tremor and said, "I'm getting the hell out of here!" Dodging past all his employees. I heard another group retelling their stories. A lady was teasing a fellow male coworker, "WHAT HAPPENED TO WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST, You SLAMMED the door right in my FACE." I told my group of co-workers that if I wanted to be in an earthquake, I could have stayed in El Salvador. Its a lot easier to evacuate a one floor cinderblock home with a tin roof than it is a 10story building at full occupancy.

http://www.kiva.org/about

www.kiva.org/lend/321029

A friend of mine and former RPCV just posted this awesomeness on his profile page.

You can help a family start a herd of cattle, build their home, or start a new business.

Its not a donation its a loan. You can lend anywhere from $25 towards a project or more!

After having experience in a poorer country, I know that these kinds of loans can substantially improve the quality of life a person has. The loans teach fiscal responsibility and household economy. These people are genuinely trying to improve their lives without handouts. Kiva organizes different microlenders and gives them credibility ratings. The microlenders are the ones who distribute the funds.

I haven't donated yet so I can't tell you about the repayment process. But to my way of thinking throwing $25 at the chance for somebody to improve their life is better than buying that new "pleasure buy" whatever that may be for you.

Even if you don't want to donate I encourage you to browse through the projects just to see how other people around the world live. Its really interesting to see the kind of projects that are available, and how people on our big blue planet keep their world spinning.

www.kiva.org/about

"Spoiler- Last paragraph is the funniest"

One of my favorite things to do lately is go to the nationals ball games! They usually lose but it is always fun to go. Tonight I was in for a treat. The Nationals won. Unfortunately the only 3 runs that were scored were from a homer in the first inning by Jason Werth- usually known for not living up to his "potential" i.e. contract price. I missed this feat because I was in the ticket line. I did get to see some amazing double plays and had a good old fashion fun time with my friends.

After the game the real challenge began. A newly made friend Teddy and I rode the metro together we thought we were being "experienced, savvy, smart" metro riders and going all the way to the back of the tunnel to get better seats on the lesser used final cars rather than fight everyone that was waiting in the middle. I said to Teddy, "The only way this doesn't work is if the train is short"--- Well the train was short and the lesser used final cars were 30 ft and 300 people away. i.e. WE LOST = Waiting 20 min for the next train. We had a brief glimmer of hope waiting for a yellow between two greens but it was a dreaded 'NO PASSENGER' train.

My eventful metro ride included some drunk guy smacking a friend of his (girl) on the ass and then complaining about how bad it hurt for the next 10 min, elbowing some old guy in the face as I tried to get off the train, and a really hot guy saying to his friend that the metro smelled like old dick. I was so caught off guard by that sentence, that I actually asked how he knew what that smelled like. He said he's 32 and his balls were looking kinda old. They were drunk and as cute as they both were I decided that making a mad dash for my bus was in my best interest.

When I got off my route I decided that a coke was to be my next order of business. I walked to the 7 eleven next door to my apartment complex and I tell you what ladies. I found where all the bachelors hang out. No more clubbing or bar hopping for me. 11:55 on a saturday night that 7 eleven was a SAUSAGE FEST and I'm not just talking about the hotdogs on the rolly steam table. I decided the best way to attract everyone's attention was to let a 1 liter coke slip out of my hand and explode on the floor. EUREKA it worked, but only for a short period of time. These elegible bachelors were more intent on their purchases of bagged chips and cases of beer. Note to self next time wear skanky tank top and spill coke down front of shirt.

Everyday we fight the good fight against the dinosaurs. Many of you do your daily part and don't even know it. Everytime you eat chicken you are doing your duty to control the dinosaur population on our planet. I fully support the eating of our repitilian foes. We, much like the aztecs, eat our enemies to posses their power. Everytime you eat a dinosaur you are utilizing the protein they created to sustain their own life, by doing so you are possesing their power in a matter of speaking. Dinosaurs are dangerous they have teeth and claws. Their modern relatives are no less dangerous even if they are somewhat less imposing in size. These feral creatures peck and claw their own to establish heirarchy. They also crow at ungodly hours of the morning and night. I thank everyone for doing their part in the fight against these heathen crowing, scratching, and reptilian like creatures. In the words of the chik'fil'a cows EAT MORE CHIKIN!!! and down with dinosaurs!

text message to my sister and cousin yesterday:

"Let me tell you the air that comes off the river on these 101 degree days is absolutely delectable. Can I bottle that and use it as a perfume. I tell you what its no rotting dock smell but its close. All the ambiance of low tide without the travel. That's how I'll market it!"

SIDE NOTE:

40 is not the new 30 because 30 can't become the new 20. No one is going to do what they did when they were 20 when they are 30 and certainly not with the same frequency. You're body does not quite bounce back the same. Let me tell you as a 26yr old my body does not bounce back like it did a few years ago. Do not tell me that its gonna get better as I creep slowly to the other life stages.

Dear 40yr old "cougar" you are not 30 anymore. Not even when you put on the skin tight dress and get "freshened up" by Dr. So and so. Quit buying into the celebrity version of life and age gracefully.

Go out have fun but know when its your bedtime and get out of my bar/danceclub before you hurt yourself going for that 20somethin guy on high heals that Lady Gaga wouldn't attempt.

Just sayin' Live, Love and be Happy but please don't wish for times long past. They are beyond you now.

Out of the Peace Corps into the Work Force. I went from being an independent worker and kinda a big deal in a small town in the middle of nowwhere to being a small deal in a big town in the middle of the eastern seaboard.

Status: Newly hired at the EPA office of Pesiticide Programs- my job- Saving you from chemical poisoning through the improper use of pesticides and wrangling those pesky companies into doing what they should do in the first place to protect their consumers.

Day to day, kind of tedious- but I love the end result- see above

Note to annoying co-worker that should have retired 10years ago. SHUT THE HELL UP. No one knows who put that file on your chair. OPEN IT UP. Maybe it says something inside that will give you a clue. QUIT YELLING AT EVERYONE in the vicinity. WE CAN'T HELP YOU- We've been working and not monitoring your desk.

Also to the same obnoxiously old and loud co-worker. THE PRINTER WORKS FINE- ITS JUST YOU!!!

This problem is a little different then what I'm used to dealing with. My problems a year ago consisted of getting a roaving herd of ants out of my house and trying to get my clothes to dry during the wet season. Honestly I preferred the ants!

Close of Service. Its been two wonderful years. Everyone says it flies by but truth be told it does. Every peace corps volunteer has their ups and downs. I´ve had mostly ups and I am so grateful to my community for making my adjustment so easy. I love them so much. I am also eternally grateful to my friends and family who listened to my weird ramblings, spanglish, and seemingly dumb problems. You guys helped make this experience so amazing by being so supportive of me. I love you all just as much- (prob more) So you see that I´m torn. I have two wonderful places to live and its interesting that a pile of debt is making the decision for me, of whether I should stay or go.

I´ve started attacking my house for the last time. I bought an extra large can of bug kill and trash bags to start the decontamination of the stuff I want to bring back and the bags for the stuff that can´t be saved haha. I´ve had the weirdest roving herd of ants in my house, They destroyed one of my light sockets, come out of the plugs, look for any seemingly abandoned article of clothing, and I even found them in a dvd case the other day. They are HUGE, don´t bite, and don´t eat my food, but they leave a very earthy smell behind. I wouldn´t mind them so much if I didn´t go to pick up something from my wardrobe and find out that I disturbed their nest and have tons of the critters fall all over me. I don´t know where the ¨mother nest¨ is. There has to be one to be able to reproduce in such numbers and then make little colonies throughout my house. So, I bought the bug kill and I am slowly reclaiming my stuff in the name of ¨COS¨

I leave in two weeks. My Salvadoran friends have been calling dibs on my stuff since I came into the community. Its a completely acceptable bad habit they have, along with asking how much everything costs, and when you invite them over they go through all of your stuff and look in every corner. I don´t know how many times I´ve just sat with my mouth open at the audacity of it. They all do it so its not considered rude, but it still took a minute to adjust to that.

I know it took them some time to get used to me and my Amerian tacaño-stingy ways. For example, here they share food. If you have a bag a chips you should offer a chip to everyone in the VERY close vicinity. Say you have a group of friends (5 of you) and everyone takes a chip, if its the tiny lunch bag chips, you know that leaves you with exaxtly 4 chips left for yourself. Then you sit and wonder why you even bought the bag. Thats why if your with someone its polite to buy two bags of chips, one to share and one to eat. One time I went on a field trip with my youth group. I brought a bag of peanuts with me in case I got hungry. I cracked into that sucker and ate half the bag. Belatedly I offered the rest of the bag to my youth group leader. He took out 2 peanuts and passed the bag on. Everyone took out 2 peanuts so that everyone could have a wee snack. Do you know that I felt like a selfish bastard after that. We were all hungry and I (not thinking) ate half of what all of us could have shared. I share all food now, doesn´t matter if its a beloved bag of m&m´s that by all rights one should be greedy and hide in their room to eat. If I´ve got something I share it.

I want to share one final work story. This past weekend my friend Megan planned a GLOW camp GIRLS LEADING OUR WORLD. It was amazing. I was able to bring 4 girls from my town to go to the camp. The camp tries to teach leadership activities and other subjects pertinent to the development of a girl between the ages of 13-18. There were team building activities, sex ed-HIV/AIDS ed, tie dye, self-esteem building, and many many more. I am so proud to have been apart of this activity. I feel like the girls gained an amazing experience that they couldn´t have gotten anywhere at home. I´m so thankful that their mothers LET me take their girls. I had to BEG several times to get the girls permission to go. It was all worth the while. I taught 5 activities and the evaluations after the camp came out favorable. The biggest criticism of the camp was that it didn´t last long enough, and EVERY girl wants to be invited back. I wish we could make it a week long. It was such a good environment for them to make new friends, learn more about themselves and what kind of woman they want to be. The biggest hit of the camp was the arts and crafts table I think. EVERY moment they had free they hit the crafts table. All the volunteers involved brought materials from home so the girls went crazy putting glitter and paint on anything that didn´t move hahaha. I´m so glad my final ¨project¨ was the GLOW camp. THANKS to all the volunteers especially Megan for making it wonderful.

All Peace Corps volunteers come from lives of relative comfort. We had washing machines, refrigerators, and we didn’t have to cross the room every night to turn off the light then curse ourselves for leaving something on the floor between the light and the bed and then scream in pain when we trip on said something in the dark. We all gain a new appreciation lets say for those modern conveniences. I, for example bow to the washing machine when I see it. I kiss it, hug it and say sweet nothings during the spin cycle. I do the same thing for the dryer. Because, the washing machine knows I love it more it puts up with my infidelity. But of all the things I miss, the thing I have to go most out of my way to overcome the inconvenience is the refrigerator. I used to live with an amazing host family. I was treated like a daughter by my host mom and like a tia by my host niece and nephew. When I first moved there my family refused to let me pay for food, my compromise was that I would buy food that I wanted and share with the family. The arrangement suited everyone and soon after I became in charge of dinner. I loved introducing them to my food culture and different foods I could make from other parts of the world. It was always a guessing game to see what my host dad would eat. With this wonderful house came most the major kitchen appliances a girl could ask for. I even found a hand mixer, but all this was taken away by a security incident and Peace Corps wisked me away to a new house. I had a big empty house all to myself except for a rat and the spiders in every corner. This house has all the independence a gringa could ask for. I no longer have kids running in and out of my house, I cook for myself all the time, and mostly nobody worries if I stay in my house and read for an afternoon. I borrowed a bed from my old host family, a table from my new landlord, and proceeded to buy everything else I needed little by little taking as much from San Miguel as my pockets could afford and my arms could carry. I have a toaster oven and a hot plate that electrocutes me if I touch my metal pots or use a metal utensil to stir what is inside them. I have tons of cooking utensils but no fridge. Many have said that a fridge would have been their first purchase. I have yet to buy one and I’ll tell you why. 1. Cost: buying the fridge plus paying someone to bring it to my house is expensive because I live so far away, its actually doable but the problem comes in with number two. 2. Everyone in my site would know that I had one and that would set me apart from them, because anyone that can buy a fridge and pay someone de un solo has to be loaded. 3. Environmentally speaking I would be supporting the manufacturing of the fridge including the mining and disposal of all the materials needed to make one. If I’m an environmentalist I should act like one. Because of this I put my decision on hold to see if I could survive without one. This changed my shopping and eating habits. Say goodbye to eating meat and dairy regularly. Say goodbye to keeping veggies or opened canned goods for very long. Say hello to beans, rice, pasta, canned and packaged goods that can be consumed rapidly and buying smaller quantities and more frequently of veggies. Just being able to feed myself became a challenge. There are people who will say this next bit of advice is just happy horse poo but I consider it a survival skill. The advice is: Any situation is a matter of perspective. Instead of looking at what you don’t have concentrate on what you do have. I couldn’t eat most of my favorite foods with any kind of frequency unless I wanted to make trips to the super every week (not feasible). So I had to start planning meals and trying to jazz up what I could get. I definately learned the hard way what the word shelf life means. I had a couple of fuzzy green months where I’d open a bag or container and discover that other life forms had inhabited my future meal. I learned that any sauce (bbq, ketchup, hot sauce, soy sauce) that has vinegar as one of its first three ingredients ain’t goin’ bad. Mayo has so many preservatives nowadays that its shelf life is a couple of weeks. Canned tuna, spices from the states, and individual packets of pasta sauce are mans greatest gifts. If your main diet consists of beans then dress’em up right and take them to a CHILI dinner. Lentils are my best friends because they don’t need a lot of water/time to cook and curry powder and lime are easy to get here. I can make veggie soup for less than a dollar and it lasts for 3 meals. I’m not saying it was all easy, remember the fuzzy green months, but it can be done. This is not a story that says if I can live without a fridge I can do anything. It’s a story about perspective. In any situation, peace corps makes you move houses, you have no fridge, or your adesco is disorganized, there are solutions that you can look for. It is easy getting bummed out having to eat the same thing everyday or missing your old host family. You’re allowed to be upset for a while, but after that start looking for solutions and ask around for advice. You’ll get there in the end.

One way of personal waste eradication is burial. The waste can be trash-plastic or whathaveyou- or rather than beating around the bush i will simply say the waste can be fecal matter. Burial is an effective method of saving problems for later among other things such as getting rid of dead bodies, but I digress. The real purpose for writing today was to share an experience I had last night at my friend Roberts house.

My friend has a latrine or outhouse, which is basically a big hole you let your "personal waste" fall into. While doing the necessary I, a warm blooded and at this point showing a vast amount of exposed flesh for the fiesting, was bombarded by mosquitos. I unfortunately could not speed up my exit i had to wait awhile longer (DARN PARASITES). Meanwhile I notice a bat speeding around outside. I thought surely with its sonar it will avoid me as I am a large object. I did not think that I, as a warm blooded person showing a vast amount of exposed flesh for the feeding mosquitos, would attract so many mosquitos that eventually the bats had to take notice of their favorite night time food. I´m setting the scene here. I imagine that most of you can guess that between the quantity of mosquitos and my inability to escape left me several bats and the mosquitos in my friend´s latrine until I was done doing the necessary. I did not flail. I did not scream. I again assumed that they, the bats, would avoid me and only go for the air borne mosquitos. When i was finally finished I survived with only getting clipped on the face with a bat wing.

First of let me tell you how happy it makes me that it is MANGO SEASON. My favorite mangos are ripe for the next month. For you unfortunate people that do not have mango trees in your yards, let me inform you of the different kinds of Mangos. Well no you should just be jealous of the big golden drops of mango deliciousness that I am fortunate enough to consume.

Secondly, the chemical clean-up trash campaign was finally completed for earth day. Let me hear an Alleluhah! It was great 40 momebers of my youth group divided up the fields and the houses to go around cleaning up empty agro chemical bottles, while I took the school kids to the soccer field to teach them about the different kinds of trash and how to dispose of each kind properly. i.e. Don´t burn plastic. Give organic trash to the livestock or make organic fertilizer etc. etc. We all met up at the waterfall for lunch and a refreshing swim. I do love my life.

Thirdly, I along with two fellow volunteer friends of mine gave a workshop-health class on SEX ED!!! This is a subject generally taboo in a very religious country. My youth group members have been asking for this talk for a very long time. Finally, I felt I was just going to plan the date and do it myself. I got my friend megs and newbie volunteer eric to help me out. It was such a success 65 people showed up. Normally youth group meetings only have 30-40 members show up, but because of the topic I invited the 6-9 graders to participate and the teachers we´re HAPPY to bring their kids in. Mostly because they know that the majority of girls drop-out of school because of teenage pregnancy. I still cannot believe the success of the talk. The usually timid and embarassed teens actively participated in the "ye old put the condom on the banana" exercise. I got 140 condoms from the Health Clinic in my Pueblo and told them to take as many as they wanted after the class. The box was EMPTY. I know a few will end up being balloons but I´m pretty sure they´re going to be used properly.

I´m sorry to end on a sour note cause I had such a good day yesterday, but I recently found out the new BOY volunteer was invited to participate in the Mesa Tecnica. A group of organizations , including the mayor, radio station, and FAO, that get together to try to develop the municipality. My other volunteer friend Nick has been on the panel since he started 6 months after me in Granada. I assumed it was because his counterparts were part of the government organization, it would only make sense that he go with them to all of their meetings. Then Eric who has NO connections to any organization in the municipality was invited by our Mayor to participate. My friends and I were trying to look at it from all sides. It couldn´t possibly be blatent discrimination due to my sex. Its the only explaination from what we know from our mayor. He has hit on me OVER LOUDSPEAKER in front of youth from all over the municipality. He insinuated that we would have a very private meeting. He is very very machista. He thinks women should wear skirts and look pretty but not actually participate an anything cerebral. I will take my stand for women´s rights before I go, but first I have to ensure I don´t mess up chances for my town. We depend on the mayor´s support for projects and If I leave a bad impression I could hurt them. I suppose this is part of being an adult. Sometimes a person has to put up with mild discrimination to save another couple hundred people from problems down the line.

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Welcome to Nuevo Gualcho and Don't Vote your Trash in the Street--- Spelling isn't considered that important. When its pronounced it means don't THROW your trash in the streets. But imagine if you didn't know that the confusion it would cause.

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My friend Lucia and I at the beach.

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A bunch of my friends at the beach

This past weekend my town celebrated its 20th anniversary of being founded. The community of Nuevo Gualcho was founded in 1990 by women, children, and elderly while husbands, fathers, and sons were fighting in the civil war. The war did not officially end until the Peace Accords in 1992. After this the men who were in the war joined their families.

When people arrived in Gualcho a neighboring town prepared a welcome for them along with a Priest who is known as Padre Lorenzo. The welcome involved an early morning Atol (mashed and cooked corn drink) and a beef stew for lunch. Padre Lorenzo stayed with the people of Gualcho for 5 years and helped them start anew.

Every year to celebrate coming to the new land the people of Nuevo Gualcho have a three day fiesta. They always begin with a morning "atoleado'' and for lunch they get together to make enough beef stew to feed a town and visitors who like to celebrate with them. Many things have been added over the years for example the traveling fair comes with games for the kids, and they sell junk food favorites like "elote loco" which is boiled fresh corn covered in mayonaise, ketchup, mustard, a black sauce, and cheese (surprisingly delicious). There are at least two huge "bailes" or dances where the youth get to celebrate being young and stupid and do so in a grand affair, but safely, because Gualcho is unique in its organization and understanding that youth without purpose, tend to get into trouble.

This years celebration could not have gotten off the ground without our youth group. They organized a majority of the events and keep traditions alive in Gualcho. I am extremely lucky to have been placed here. I love gualcho and I see myself in years to come celebrating another anniversary with la gente maravillosa de Nuevo Gualcho. (the wonderful people of Nuevo Gualcho)

I have improved immensely on my Spanish since I came to el sal, so much so that I can hardly speak english anymore. However, my spanish is still lacking and I have made a few funny errors. For example the dictionary spanish says that hoy= today and ahora= now BUT here in el salvador ahora means today and hoy means right now. Once I went running out the door to a meeting that wasn't going to happen for a few hours because someone told me the meeting was "ahora" they meant today not right now. I felt foolish and you would think after errors such as these I would learn their definitions but no I continue doggedly in my pursuit for proper dictionary definitions. I really don't mean to its just that my brain already built the bridge between those two words and it doesn't want to divert.

Here's a fun word. . embarazada--- i.e. FALSE COGNATE. For those of you who have studied a foreign language you know that the faslse cognate is your enemy. A cognate is a word that sounds the same or is written similarly in two languages for example False in spanish is Falso. So back to false cognates, these would be words that look like words in english but have a different meaning. I was trying to say to a friend of mine that my host brother was embarrassed to be seen with us because he's too cool. She looked at me oddly, she was very confused. Then she repeted the word I thought meant embarrassed =embarazada and made a motion with her hand like a rounded belly or a pregnant woman. For those of you who haven't guessed embarazada means pregnant. I said that my host brother was too pregnant to hang out with us.

Another fun word, molestar, this one only becomes problematic if you're trying to speak english again after a long stint with spanish. Amongst volunteers we make this error ALL the time. The word molestar in spanish means to bother. Where as in english it looks like the word to MOLEST. So the volunteers will be chilling and talking about whatever and we'll say something like," Ugh that drunk guy was totally molesting me earlier." We kind of look at eachother the person who makes the mistake stumbles a bit over their tongue and corrects themselves, " I mean bothered me. . he was really bothering me" We've pretty much all made the same mistake and have basically stopped correcting ourselves because we can tell by the tone of voice that they really weren't violated. Incidentally the word violate is a cognate =violar but it mostly means to rape or molest. OH what fun it is to learn another language!!!

This past month has been a little crazy, starting with landslides, losing my wallet, going on a hormonal roller coaster, people think I'm married, and finally having my house broken into possibly by one or several youth group members. I don't really want to know who did it. I don't want to lose trust in anyone plus it will label them as a delinquent and give the group a bad name.

Youth are all painted with the same brush here. If it were one of the youth group members the older generation could yank the girls out of the group and or prevent future youth group projects. Which is a shame because we just jumped from 50 members to 75 after our 2 yr anniversary of being formed.

My new host mom swears up and down it had to have happened when I left my door open to go running. I always leave my door open when I'm in the house or if I'm going to run a quick errand. Thats how safe it is in my community. We don't have drunks and I can walk home safetly after dark or early morning because we have street lights and people who care about the safety of others. Unfortunately, this time I did shut my door and you need a key to open it even though it wasn't locked, but there's a trick that you can do with some rope and a tree branch that will jimmy the door open and anyone can get in if its not locked. I don't know, evidence points to forced entry, and someone who isn't a hardened thief and doesn't have to many resources because they didn't steal my Computer or my iPod just $40, my cell phone, and the earphones to my iPod. The earphones turned out to be the best evidence I had because a friend of mine had visited and we both saw the earphones in the iPod before we left and I shut the door. I came back-I went to sleep, and I went to go running the next morning and wanted to listen to music but I couldn't find my earphones. After running I came to look for them again and discovered the money missing as well. SO enough of that.

I have enough to worry about now that there is some gossip that I went to the mayors office and got hitched in secret. Though how secret could it have been if people know about it. I've had five people ask me if in fact I am married. The rumor is that someone saw me in the mayor's office one day a couple of weeks ago getting married to my ex. When I ask who saw me getting married they say "As a Ver" which is short for "vamos a ver" and translates either to "we'll see" or "who knows" In this instance it is "Who Knows" I then follow up with, "Well who told you?" "No recuerdo." "I don't remember" they tell me. In other words they don't want to reveal their source.

I have no evidence that I wasn't married except for the fact that I was in San Salvador the alleged week that it happened. The ex denies marrying me. I have no papers saying I was married. There are no actual witnesses to the event. Other than these very easily verifiable facts people still insist that I am in fact married. And despite my protests to the contrary of this "boda" of lies (wedding of lies) they believe and spread the rumor I'm going to "llevar" bring the ex to the states with me when I go in a year.

The youth group is having a grand time with it teasing me about it. The problem is that not all salvadorans understand sarcasm. So I can say "OH YEAH I totally got married, we're gonna have 12 kids and adopt a dolphin." Some would laugh and understand the outlandishness of the statement others would ask or say 1. What's a dolphin? or 2. I think a cat would be more sensible. So If I try to play it off sometimes it goes over well and other times it turns into "confirming the rumor" I suppose as far as rumors go its pretty harmless its just ANNOYING especially with the youth group teasing. This mostly ends with me not knowing the best way to stifle the gossip. Hasta el proximo!

El Salvador has seen better days but truth be told it has seen far worse. A little more than a week ago the rainy season ended with a bang by raining so long and so hard that the earth moved from higher elevations to lower elevations.. . .or landslides. In the central region it rained about 350cm in 4 hours, therefore an extreme amount in a very short period of time. Luckily in my town the river that is actually in a gorge only rose a couple of feet for a half day, unfortunatly our water pipes cross the river at the lowest point and they did get broken. I'm sure we have temporarily fixed the problem until it could be permantly fixed. We were only without water for 6 days. All is well in town though.

I've been out of site so much recently I don't feel like I'm able to get any work started. I've been talking about starting a summer camp but I'm never home for youth group meetings. For example this week was mid-service medical were we got to donate all bodily fluids for testing and be interviewed about our health practices and risky behaviors. Very exciting and I missed my youth group meeting.

I wanted to go translate for an NGO next wk but I just don't think that is my best decision with Thanksgiving, my Birthday, follow-up doctor visits that will take me out of site.

I'm actually too tired right now to make this blog coherent. Good night

Don't get me wrong I love el Sal, but I am super excited to come home. There was some talk about me going to DC, but that would depend on my dearest DC pals sending me. I myself cannot pay to go see you guys. I"M SORRY. If you wanted you could come visit me in bama. I'll be there the 5th-25th. If you are interested in sending me up, just contact me via Facebook, or email and we'll get something together. I don't really have much more to say. I'm teaching science in the school which let me tell you is harder than it should be. The science book mixes earth science, physics, chemistry, and biology. So the kids are learning about Leptons before they have even figured out the parts of a cell. . which don't get me wrong is cool that they get an introduction to higher sciences the only problem I have is the organization of the material. Rather than the chapter teaching one whole theme it teaches 4 but never fully explains any of them. They have to go to the next chapter to finish learning it. Oh well, I only have one more week of teaching and then I"M HOME!!!

So this month has been a rollercoaster so far. It started out really high. Most of the volunteers went to the swearing in of the new group in San Salvador it was a night of frivolity and maybe all of us spent way more money than we should have. So money is needless to say tighter than most months. To top that off i was mandated by peace corps to move houses. There's a lot of stupid details but it was for "security". I still love my host family. I've visited them everyday and it feels weird to be a part of the family but not live there anymore. My host mom told me she loved me yesterday and i said i love you too and she started crying. Damn I never wanted to do that to her. i always thought that I might move one day just to have more privacy but I always felt like I couldn't do that to my host mom and I was right, I couldn't have done this to her becuase i wanted a little more privacy.

Now I have a different house that has WAAAAYYYYY more privacy, which for a gringo means a lot. I get to cook for myself all the time now which is awesome but i'm not above accepting food donations from my favorite families. One day i aspire to buy a fridge so that i can keep dairy and protein that is not in the form of a bean. I had to buy some kitchen and eating equipment sooo money is even tighter than is humanly acceptable. Imagine facing 17 more days in the month with $50 to your name. In other words NOW ACCEPTING DONATIONS!!!! Lol asi es la vida of a Peace Corps volunteer.

As far as projects go I've been writing my face off in spanish and english soliciting for $. So I've been begging personally and professionally for some time now. If we get the money my youth group is gonna have a cleaning campaign for the pesticide and chemical fertilizer bottles that people don't know what to do with. Mostly they just chuck them where ever but we're trying to make that stop. Where ever isn't very safe or healthy.

In other news I'm coming home in OCTOBER for 3wks. I am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY excited. When I think about it I get all giddy. Which is good cause this week has been such a bummer.

Peace Out

I just wanted to see if anybody who reads this is interested in helping out. Education opportunities are few and far between here in El Salvador and a lot more difficult for girls than boys. El Salvador still has culture that is machista and tends to value (not overly but even so) boys more than girls. I have been very lucky in my site placement. I live in a place where women's rights are actively pursued, but it is not the case all over El Salvador. I'm posting information to an organization run by current peace corps volunteers in El Salvador that give scholarships to girls to aid them in pursuing their dreams and in so doing making opportunities for current and future generations of women.

While basic public education is free and high school matriculation is also paid for by the Salvadoran government, families still must pay for school uniforms, books, transportation to and from class, as well as bear the burden of funding extracurricular activities. Many rural families, earning an average of $4 per day, struggle to put food on the table, making it even more difficult to provide for their children`s education. No student loans are available through the government.

Furthermore, the gap between rich and poor citizens, within both developed and developing nations, is growing, according to the UNDP 2007 report. While the richest two percent of the world's adult population owns more than half of global household wealth, over a billion people worldwide in 2007 had an income equivalent of a dollar a day or less (UNDP Report 2007). Thus, for more than a billion people worldwide, education has become a privilege instead of an inherent right.

Of Salvadoran youth,

• 48% aged 15-24 attend school

• 88% of those who study belong to the upper-class

• 40% say they are optimistic for a better future

• 50% live on a disposable income of less than $2/day

On graduation rates:

• 36% of Salvadoran youth who are studying finish 9th grade

• Only 12.6% will graduate from high school

• 1.26% of those will study in college

• 0.013% will graduate from college

• 25% of all Americans have a Bachelor’s degree

Of the 52% of Salvadoran youth aged 15-24 who are not studying at any level,

• Some work as farm hands picking coffee, cutting sugarcane, and growing corn for $5 per day

• Some work 12-hour days in clothing factories for $50 per week

• Some work as maids in wealthy households far from their families for $4 per day

• 42% of youth currently seek jobs

• Only 36% of youth say they are confident they will find a job

*Source: 2005 Government youth survey from the National Secretary of the Youth, La Prensa Gráfica

For these reasons, a group of Peace Corps volunteers formed a committee with local nonprofit organizations to provide scholarships to poor, rural Salvadoran girls who without outside assistance would discontinue their studies. This scholarship program, called Mujeres y Jovenes en Desarrollo (or Women and Youth Development) not only provides the means for girls with the aptitude and desire to continue their studies, but also provides them with technical training that compliments their studies (under themes such as leadership development, women's empowerment, equality, and community development).

Northamerican friends and neighbors along with Salvadoran businesses donate each year. Our current goal is to raise $2400 by Labor Day to put us on track to award new scholarships in addition to continuing to assist our current scholars for the 2010 school year.

To donate online, please visit:

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.donors.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=519-122

or contact the Peace Corps Office of Private Sector Initiatives at:

1111 20th St. NW

Washington, DC 20526

800.424.8580 ext. 2170

pcpp@peacecorps.gov

Please note your donation is tax-deductible (if in the U.S.A.) and is greatly appreciated!

I posted a video. . We'll see if it works. I don't really have the savy to work it out if it doesn't. I hosted a trainee this wkend. Like when I went to morazan a newbie came to visit me to see what volunteer life is like. I talked his head off poor thing. I could not shut up. I tried to ask him questions but he was very pensive most of the time and maybe the fact that I was a fountain of. . . . information? was a good thing.

He's a cool guy. He plays rugby therefore he has to be cool. Plus he's japanese. . come on a japonese rugger definately a worthwhile trainee. But poor thing he was sick for 2 of the days he was here. He caught the gripe (flu) that everyone in the country has and can't get rid of. He stayed with my friends Victor and Milagro so that I wouldn't have the stigma of having a boy stay with me in my house. It was fun though walking around the community with him and getting stares. I get to answer questions about him for the next 3 months. WOOT.

While he was here it was really interesting to see where his head was and what questions he was asking and remember that those were the same concerns that I had. That during training its fine but then you're dropped off in a big black void of being a volunteer and its pretty scary that you don't know your future and to top that off you'll be by yourself. But then you get to your community realize that really isn't that big of a deal. The stuff you can't even imagine will smack you upside your head that will be your problems. . not electricity or running water or how well you speak spanish. . though all very valid concerns will pale in comparason to stupid gossip or people's unwillingness to work with you because your not of the same "whatever" Those will be much bigger problems and harder to evercome than getting used to roughing it.

Also while he was here I realized how much confianza (trust and confidence) people of my community have in me and that made me feel very warm and fuzzy. I've been in country for 10 months and in my community for 8 months. In 8 months people like me for me, we make jokes, i play with their kids, we cook together, and we share so much that I don't know how I'm going to live without the people here in Gualcho. I don't even want to think about end of service but eventually I'll have to start looking for a job and preparing for my life back in the states. I guess I'm just very grateful for the peace corps life and it is bittersweet all the time.

Yesterday we had a spanish Cooperativa de Paz come to our community to meet with our youth group and women's group. The cooperativa gives support to our womens movement so annually they make a trip to El Salvador to check it out. Part of the group was a bunch of university students. They were really good people. I enjoyed talking to them. Some of them were living in Honduras when the coup went down. They say that its all still shrouded in a bunch of mistery and some of the officials are going "missing" That could mean that they are going into hiding voluntarily or other more nefarious methods. There is some banter from the older generation (not the younger) about going to fight in Honduras. I.E. my host dad and a few others. . . well they're not saying they want to go fight just that El Salvador should send people to go fight. My community is left and the party in Honduras that was "couped" is left. The official president, Zalaya, I should say who was couped is leftist. The "coupers" are right. So to explain my random language "to coup" is now a verb. "Couped" is the past tense."Couper" is the party or side that officiates s a coup and a "coupee" is one who has been removed from power by the "couper" For those of you who don't know how to prounouce coup its COO like the sound a creepy mom or grandma makes to a baby.

Anyways, my town put their best foot forward and the youth dance team/group was AMAZING. They really have been practicing. I might be in love with all of them. After they show we had a baile. . .anyone who knows my community knows that to not have a baile would be RUDE. It was a great visit and I'm only sad that I didn't see the spaniards off this morning but I had to catch a bus to buy cake ingredients. YUM!

I took a much needed respite in the capital with friends this wkend. It was marvellous. I love my community and my friends in community but every now and then you can get cabin fever and a wkend with gringos was a salve to my ?battered soul? I played soccer for the first time in my life and while I didn't kick ass at least my ass wasn't kicked. It was a lot of fun. Later we went to a hotel and had a little pizza and swapped battle stories of transportation problems while being sick. Such as taking the bus and throwing up on little old ladies (not me) Or getting a ride to the hospital and throwing up in a plastic bag, finding out your plastic bag leaks and you actually threw up on your own pants and in the car, throwing the bag outside, jumping out of the car, throwing up some more, resting your tired and dehydrated body on a brick wall to be attacked by 20 biting ants on the small of your back. (me)

Everyone in our group has gotten some form of montezuma's revenge, and everyone has a gross/hilarious story about getting through your own personal embarassment nightmare. Its good to share and realize that your not alone. But I love you all and please send me goodies.

Such as:

Chocolate

Books

Dvd's

Mac and Cheese

This was a journal entry last night, too rich not to share.

Have you ever seen a dead spider move? I have. I killed it, I watched it die, and then an hour later it moved. It was a deadly looking thing- well dangerous anyways and my animalistic instinct took over and I killed it with a nature travel book. . . the closest thing to a wooden club I own. One hour later the gooshy corpse was left on the floor the industrious ants hauled its carcass to their tunnel homes underneath my house. Aaaahhh nature's beauty WASTE = FOOD. Hence a dead spider moving. Well I just killed another of the same species and size which means to me that their mother laid her eggs in my house. I hope I killed her too. In other bug news I received my 2nd bee/wasp sting of my life and yesterday my 3rd Scorpion sting. I didn't have benedryl on either occasion so I am still enjoying the sensation of a thick tongue and numb lips.

On second thought maybe I should lift my feet off the ground in case there are vengeful siblings near.

Holy Molie, I'm glad I did, I just killed #3. Yipes. The whole herd will be gone at this rate.

There's something unique about every culture that will drive volunteers crazy. For me its the cat calls, the blatant perusal by men, machismo, and sexism. To put it simply, Salvadoran men. I've written about this several times and rather than each experience making it easier to handle it gets harder. I've talked to my guy friends here about it and they just laugh. Like, "yeah a lot of guys do that." When I talk to my girl friends they're like, "You don't like cat calls? Well, how do you know when a guy likes you? How do they do it in the states?"

Peace Corps tells you when you don't like a catcall, don't look, don't say anything, just keep walking. That works really well in the cities but when I have people from other towns invading my town and cat call me I have no problem whatsoever in Telling them off ---in english, while walking away. For example,

lecherous asshole #1 will say, " Hey, how are you gringa?" in a tone of voice that is not simply asking how you are feeling and leaves no doubt that what he's trying to say is, "Hey, how about i peel off your clothes, gringa?" Oh and its usually someone that got deported so they have a basic grasp of the english language but maybe not the best.

I respond, " Fine, fuck you very much" very rapidly so that if any of my community was listening they might think I was being polite, and i keep walking.

This is a normal interaction, a not so normal interaction would be what happened a week or so ago. . .

I was walking with one of my friends back from making some organic fertilizer when we were stopped by a stooped shouldered old man. He had cateracts in his eyes and a nose that left very little room on his face for other features. He looked so surprised to see me, like christmas had come early. This is pretty startling everytime someone looks at you like that but its not uncommon. People often think that if a white person is around they are from a development agency handing out free "whatever". But then another look passed in his eyes something I see way too often in the streets not to recognize as a sign to run away. He started to speak, "Hello, where are you from?" I responded, "I'm from the U.S." He literally shivered with glee at this point. Then he asked, " How long will you be here?" I said, "I'll be living here for 2 years." He continued to question me, "How long have you been here?" I said, "For about six months now." He looked surprised and said, "How come I've never seen you before? Where are you living?" I was hesistant and responded, " Over by the church." I did not want to give any specifics even though he could have asked anyone else in the community and they could have told him with whom I am living. He continued to ask, "Yes but where?" Meanwhile my friend can barely hold in her laughter because she could tell how uncomfortable I was and also she knew the intentions of the old man. I responded vaguely, " you know over there by the church." He turned to look at my friend and asked her where I'm living because at this point he assumed I didn't know. She looks me straight in the eye and with the cheshire cat grin and tells him, " She lives with Nina Lydia and Don Canales." He looks at me and shivers with glee for the second time of our interaction. I am more than a little peeved at my friend and I said to the old man, " It was good to meet you goodbye." He said to me with a meaningful look in his eye, " I may be old but its not important." And he made a motion with his hand that said between you and me, we could work something out. Then he said "Wait for me, I have to drop something off." I said, "We have to go." and I turned to leave with my friend. She finally let out the laughter that she'd been holding in since the first gleeful shiver of the old man.

Later that night, I was walking from my house to the main house. I stepped onto the patio and saw the back of the little old man from earlier. He was playing cards with my host dad and mom. I made a face that said, "Oh shit." and I turned to leave, but before I did I caught the eye of my host mom and she had seen my face so she burst out laughing. Luckily this interaction went unnoticed by the other card players and I snuck away back to my house. An hour later my host dad comes knocking on my door and motions for me to follow him. I do so and he tells me that the little old man wants to talk to me. I look at my host dad imploringly, saying "Please don't make me." Then I look outside and see that my host mom is still entertaining him and my host dad tells me that he won't leave. I realize that for the family I should suck it up and go talk to him. I walk outside and say hello, that now familiar and hated shiver of glee passed through his old body at the sight of me. He proceeds to tell me how glad he is to see me and started telling me about how clean his tin shack is and that I could come back with him and suck on mangos. I declined the offer very politely, I told him it was really late and maybe some other day my host mom and I could visit. He shook his head vigorously, and rubbed his head nervously. At this point I realized he was a little drunk, maybe a lot drunk. He got up out of his chair and started to get closer to me. He rubbed his head nervously again, like he was trying to think of a back up plan. He decided to tell me again, " Yo soy viejito pero no importante"- I'm old but its not important, I now hate those words. He tells me he wants me to come back with him to live with him. I told him I had a man, you can't just say boyfriend because there's no respect for that relationship but you can say I have a man and it can mean boyfriend or husband. He looked troubled at this point and asked me, "Is he here in El Salvador?" I said yes. He shook his head violently and said,"no no no no." I told him that if he didn't believe me he could ask Nina Lydia. He still looked troubled and he took another step towards me. I took a step back because really at this point I'm more than a little creeped out. I looked at my host mom and she gave me a nod that said I was polite enough I could go. I turned and said the the old bastard, " its really late, you should go to bed, I'm going to bed. Good night" I turned to leave and he nearly shouted, " No wait!" so I turn on my heel and said, "Si?" He looked at me with a very hopeful watery gaze over his gargantuan nose and pulled money out of his pocket. I screamed, "NO HOMBRE, VAYASE"--no man go away, and I ran to my room and slammed the door.

I found out later that he tried to follow me but he was so drunk that he mistook another house for mine and slept in the hammock outside that house. My host dad boosted him out at 4am and told him to leave. The old bastard asked my host dad what time I get up and how he could get with the gringa. My host dad told him I don't wake up till 9 and to leave.

This guy is really old and I suppose he's just looking for his last thrill before he leaves this world. LUCKY ME!!!

So those of you following the life of YO, My youth group made their organic fertilizer like 3wks ago. My community vegetable gardens project is rollin right along and now my softball team wants to form a grupo de deseos. Basically they want to form a group where they get to learn stuff like cooking or crafts. HECK YEAH. They are gonna buy all the ingredients and materials and we are gonna craft it up. For example a small birthday cake here costs like $20 and a big sheet cake costs $40. RIDICULOUS right. Especially when you can get a cake mix from the Super for $2 and make icing for less than $5. I'm soo excited. Sorry I don't have some funny anecdote this time. I'm sure I'm full of them but things are starting to appear more and more normal to me so I don't notice what would be hilarious to the American eye anymore. I'll try to think of something this afternoon to share before i have to catch the dusty bus home.

Everything is opportunistic. For example, today the ministry of health came and fumigated for mosquitos. It was very smelly and I couldn’t escape the smoke unfortunately I’ll probably enjoy long term exposure to some horrible chemical. I at least know its not DDT. The guy fumigated the houses, the areas around the houses, where we store water, and inside the latrines. Apparently this stuff doesn’t only kill mosquitos, it goes for all flying insects apparently except flies. Those bastards are still around. When they fumigated the latrines the roaches were going crazy trying to escape. It was really gross to see all the roaches flying out of the latrine. Meanwhile the birds notice this buffet of crazy roaches. All different types of these exotic birds where flying and catching the roaches in mid air others dive bombing the ground. It was quite a site, until the cat stealthily pounced on a bright yellow and black bird. It was so quick and tidy I could have missed it. I was upset because I realized that the cat probably just killed an endangered species. Oh the beauty of the rainforest the tropical rainforest CRUNCH.

I just want to take this moment to share with you the horror I experience every time I see a chicken get raped. Its almost unbearable.

I'm walking down the street, or in my backyard, or on my way to the school and I see a chicken minding its own business and pecking at the ground. Its looking for food, innocently munching on ants or stray fruit peels some kid threw away the day before. Then out of nowhere a very large rooster runs at the chicken, hops on its back, and forces it to the ground, sometimes the rooster will bite the recalcitrant chicken on the neck to force obedience. Sometimes the chicken will escape but most of the time the rooster has its way with the poor bird and in a matter of seconds hops off and goes his own way.

Every time this happens I feel used and it only makes me want to eat the roosters more. I discussed this with my host dad and he said, " but if there were no roosters there would be no little chickens"

True but there would also not be anymore chicken rape and I personally could eat more veggies.

In other news, Easter went off without a hitch. My town had 4 processions beginning with Palm Sunday up to the night before Easter. We had an all night vigil Saturday to Sunday- guess who went to bed early? It is also bloody hot. Like 107 degrees of hotness maybe more.

I just want to vent a little frustration. There is nothing "FOR FREE". Particularly now that we have this lovely economic turn. I would like my youth group leader to understand that. He wants everything for free and he wants it now. The whole community has been more energized (seemingly impossible as this is a very energetic community) because their candidate won. They want change and and they want it yesterday. I hear a lot of people saying, "We have the government now! We can ask for anything!"

My internal response is . . . "you could always ask. . whether or not someone was going to listen or respond was the problem"

Here is another problem. EVERY community of FMLN is saying that. The amount of money this country has is the same as it was yesterday. With more requests for development projects/ scholarship funds/ sports equipment/ whathaveyou the funds are going to be spread very thin. The people will get just as frustrated with "their" party as the opposing party.

Maybe there will be less corruption this time, maybe people of all economic statuses will pay their taxes. Maybe more business will be attracted to a leftist government (unlikely but maybe). People are anticipating what they don't have. Its more than hope its hope mixed with desperation. People are not asking they are demanding because they feel they have waited long enough.

I don't disagree. It sucks to be poor all your life. To scrap and save and still not have enough, but my community isn't the poorest of the poor. They can afford some things. Which is why I get frustrated when I'm the one they "demand" things of. I'm still new to this country and its not my fault your government screwed you over for 20 yrs. I am not rich. I'm actually poorer than everyone in my community because I have debt. I can't reach into the grand bank account of everyone I know to buy things.

List of "FREE" things I've been asked for

seeds

computer lessons

fruit trees

scholarships

As I write this I realize my frustrations seem silly, but it doesn't change how I feel. The requests are not outlandish. People just want to live, learn, and be healthy. These are not unreasonable requests. The problem is that for free isn't possible its not how peace corps works. Peace corps is a "teach a man to fish" method. I don't have a fund to dip into for projects. My job is to help them look for funds for projects and to teach them how to look for them by themselves so when I'm gone they can be in charge of their own development. I'm trying to share how that if they pool their money together that they can buy seeds and fruit trees for less than if they tried to do it alone. I'm giving the computer lessons. I'm free but the computers aren't. Finding a place that has 10 or more computers so I can give lessons easily isn't working. Plus it costs money to get to and from whatever place we need to go. Scholarships. . . that is the funniest thing in the world. Unless you know english you can't get a scholarship from people in the states. The majority of scholarships from US organizations are for schools in the states. The others aren't for bachelors degree-- only for masters and above. The Salvadoran institutions require that you be the best of the best. There is only one best of the best so how can I get scholarships for the majority of the students who are intelligent but aren't the Validictorian. I am very frustrated about the lack of money and the unwillingness of some people to look for other methods to accomplish a goal.

Out of site that is. I'm stuck in San Salvador recovering from the amazing gall stone surgery that took 3 hrs. The results: 3 gall stones the size of juju b's and a gall bladder the size of a mandarin orange/ tangerine. They asked me if i wanted to keep the stones at first i was like hell no through those foul beasts away. Then for curiosity sake I took a look at them. They are all round and smooth and really light weight. If I didn't think it was so gross I might have made beads out of them cause they were jet black.

In other news. The socialist party FMLN won and Funes is the new president. Everything was peaceful!

My peace corps life is pretty lame right now. I've spent the last wk in the hospital and I've been watching the food network like a lamoid. Looking at all the food I can't eat. Bonus, I'm out of the hospital but now in a hotel. I have internet and antibiotics for the post surgery fun. I can eat semi real food! All and all a very lame post.

For those of you who may or may not know i have gall stones, and next wk I'm going to panama to get them out. Right now i'm in the hospital getting lovely iv fluids and jello for breakfast lunch and dinner. Very EXCITING. Meanwhile an epic presidential election is simmering until tomorrow. Tomorrow the two major parties in el Salvador ARENA(right wing) and FLMN (left wing) go head to head. My community is FMLN but my host mom from training is from ARENA. So even though there is an incredible amount of bitterness and hatred left over from the war 20 yrs ago, I can see both sides. I as a peace corps volunteer can have/express no political opinion. The truth is I just want the best for the people and above all peace.

In other news the anniversary party was a smash. We had this huge puppet that they made dance and drums for the opening event. We had two dances I only went to one. We watched a documentary on refugees from honduras. We had an afternoon of performances that included a one man drag show, two comedy groups, a vocalist, and 4 dancing groups. It was so much fun. Mas tarde

Today my youth group and I were supposed to go to the Escuela Nacional de Agricultur. I talked to our alcaldie which is essentially our mayor about getting us a ride to the school. He told me its fine he can provide us with transportation. I called him yesterday to make sure everything was set up and he said, "Oh thats tomorrow?" I said "yes it is" He asked if i could call to make the arrangements I said I could as long as he could still pay the driver. He then tells me that he can only pay for half. The problem with that is where is my youth group gonna come up with the other half of the bus fee in one day. BLOODY HELL. I was soo mad and more than that disappointed cause I promised my youth group something and then couldn't deliver. The mayor made a lier out of me and that made me feel that my word was worth less. Luckily they didn't take it that way. They are actually very used to being screwed over by the opposite party's politics which is why they sent me to go talk to him. . hoping that he wouldn't screw me over. Didn't work.

In other news, my town's gonna have its anniversary celebration this wk and we have 2 dances coming up. . . Criminey. My community does enjoy a baile. Also the plans for the vegetable gardens are moving smoothly as well as my youth group making the organic fertilizer.

I am absolutely in love with my community. The only people I dont' like in my community are actually people who aren't from the community and who only visit like the doctor that takes care of my host dad. He is in his mid to late 50's and is single and likes to tell me that he is single whenever he gets a chance. He also invites himself into my room without my permission and acts like a giddy school boy when I'm around. Very unbecoming and he's OLD. OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD. My friend robert (also a peace corps volunteer) tells me I'm too picky. He says to me, "you don't like the young guys cause you don't have anything to talk about intellectually and you don't like the ones who have a degree.''

Valentines day is an annual disapointment. Every year is another year that my best friends and I say WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE. Not that my best friends aren't amazing valentines its just that I'd prefer it to be a boy that i really liked saying those words to me. Not this year. In el salvador rather than call it the day for love its called El "dia de amor y amistad" love and friendship in other words. I celebrated valentines day with everyone in my community that has reached out their hand to me and helped me out so far.

I invited my counterpart, victor, rocelia, irma, mapache, and their families over my family's house for a dinner. I made spaghetti bolagnese with garlic bread and broccoli. Now when i sent the invitations i forgot what day it was and it ended up being perfect. I spent the day of love and friendship with my new friends and family in el salvador, eating one of my favorite meals. I didn't feel like i was making up for something I felt like I was actually celebrating the way it was intended. Every year for valentine's day, rather than the traditional annual disapointment i'm gonna invite my friends over for a big dinner. Here's to new traditions!!!

That day doesn´t exist in el salvador. You can feel pretty gross after a day walking the streets in a ciudad. The guys look you up and down like your a piece of meat and of course you want to have sex with them becuase they´re men and they have a penis.. . . i mean those are the only qualifications a girl is looking for right? Ugh. I don´t like it I don´t like it. I´m pretty lucky in my community only random people from other cantons hit on me or say. Hey beeeutiful, HI honeeey. I lof you.

But other than that I got some really cool stuff coming up. My community is really interesested in vegetable gardens. WOOT. There´s a meeting this wkend that I´m going to, to talk about possibilities and people who might be interested. I´m teaching english in the school. I could really do without that but what the community needs. . . i try to provide. Hopefully the english teacher, who is currently pregnant, will return as scheduled in april and I´ll be free to sleep in my hammock during the hot afternoons again.

I have this really awesome youth group. They are super active. Last wk I made the mistake of bringing cookies that my friend Megan and I made to a youth group meeting. They loved them and want to learn how to make them. . even the boys. So everyone is coming over my house next friday and we´re making COOKIES. Then we have our youth group meeting.

I don´t know what it is about this computer that likes to translate my blog titles.

The title is Goals and other such nonsense. If you care. So i was officially cured of dengue as of last friday. . . so like 10 days. I never got the itchy hands and feet WOOT!! Truth be told it wasn´t a bad dengue. I hear that junk can knock you out.

okay So now that I´m back in site it feels soo good to be home and be around my community. I was reading another volunteer´s blog who is in kenya right now and read a line that said she was surprised at what doesn´t surprise her anymore. A goat was knocking on her door she got up to see what the noise was. . opened the door. . it was a goat. . . closed the door and continued reading. I can totally empathize with this because there is so much that happens here that would phase people but doesn´t phase me anymore.

For example, I was playing softball on the Cancha the other day and a stray cow ran through. That doesn´t happen in the US. Nor do you have to worry about chickens coming in your room and laying eggs on your bed. Just a few examples, you understand.

Its just part of the idiosyncrysies of our peace corps life. I wouldn´t trade it for anything right now. This morning I hitched a ride on the back of a pick-up with a stranger to go to the pueblo. . . not really all that normal in the states, but hey it works here.

I HAVE A MAILING ADDRESS

Jessica Rogala

Radio Izcanal

Nueva Granada, Usulutan

El Salvador

I also have a wish list if anyone was feeling up to mailing me stuff.

Earplugs: because the bloody roosters keep me up all night STILL

Velveeta cheese: because mac n´ cheese sounds soo awesome

Old softball-baseball equipment- if you´ve got an old glove or a couple of balls laying around PLEASE send them my way. We only have 1 glove and 1 ball :)

thank you!!! oh and books. . . i´m not really caring what kind, just somehting to read in my boredom.

i would also just love to get mail from you guys from home THANK YOU

Well, while I have been fortunate enough to avoid montezuma's revenge, but I have gotten dengue. This is just a mild form. It feels like I have a bad hangover. Everyday has been a little worse than the last. The fever kinda sucks cause it makes me sweat. I'm stuck in San Salvador for the next few days until Mondayish. The tricky part about that is Mayoral Elections are on Sunday. Volunteers are on Standfast = be in your site or be "Removed from Service". This is because of the dangerous nature of Salvadoran elections. They can get quite violent. So how bad is my disease that they would rather keep me in a "hot bed" of political violence than let me go back to my host mom in San Vicente or my house in Usulutan.

Personally I'm really looking forward to the itchy hands and feet and rash on my neck and chest stage WOOT! Other than that and the worry about being in San Sal during elections I'm pretty awesome. It sucks that I'm missing training and my life is a little hectic for details at the moment. I suspect wk after next I'll be dandy cause I'll be in the comfort of my own home with my host mom in Usulutan cooking for me!!

I've been a site rat for two months but I promised that I would visit other volunteers so that will get me out and about. And also to see the country.

One of my first projects is going to get computers in my school and teach computer and internet classes if I can get a school grant for that or something.

I'm an agroforestry volunteer. My main goals are to promote sustainable agriculture and encourage agrobusiness, and after a lecture we had yesterday about these resources that are available (from the government of El Salvador to its people) on the internet, I don't see any way around teaching computer classes. These websites are amazing they explain everything about agriculture from types and classes of fertilizer to daily prices for products all over the country. It would facilitate the lives of these people so much but NONE of them know how to use a computer

So i'm not really certain why the title for this blog got translated into. . . I'm gonna say korean or tai, but i'm probably completely wrong. Anyways. Um I don't really know what to write. I just thought I should so that people would know that I'm alive.

I made potato salad for dinner last night. IT WAS AWESOME and my family loved it. Its hard to tell when salvadorans like something cause they'll always eat it regardless and tell you it was delicious. You only really know if they like it if they ask for more, ask for you to make it again, or ask for the recipe. I know they like it because my host dad who never eats dinner ate my potatos, everyone cleaned their plate and the kids asked for more!!! WOOT TO THE SALAD DE PAPAS. I'm gonna try not to waste anymore of your time and stop writing now.

LOVE

jai

Peace Corps has been telling us how conservative the culture is here and for the most part its true. . . except in my town. Before a noveno mass a bunch of us were at the local tienda just waiting for the mass to begin and chatting and what not. The padre walks in and orders some pupusas (the most amazing food on the planet) and a beer (HELLO) After Roselia (Women´s Movement Lady) introduces me and tells him I´m catholic (kinda a big deal) the padre starts chatting me up. Then he offers to buy me a beer. DUDE. I politely declined and he bought me a coke instead. The padre had 2 cervazas before the mass, and he was tipsy. LOL he has this high pitch girlish giggle. And he laughed at the most inoportune times. It was histarical. I nearly passed out from holding in my laughter. Oh it was great you can´t buy that kind of comedy.

The next night we had a dance and pretty much everyone was drinking and dancing in the street, the young people anyways. So yeah my site is pretty liberal.

Okay for the blue cast part. I was playing softball in my community yesterday (keep in mind that i have been playing for 2 months in Molineros without problems) and the first day i play in community I twisted my ankle really bad. Its a purple and swollen. Because they don´t have the same imaging equipment here or for whatever reason when you have a bad sprain they cast you up. I am rockin´ a big blue cast on my foot righ now!!! BUT Peace Corps is going to send me to San Vicente in a car so i can celebrate Thanksgiving with my friends!!!! Then they´re gonna take me back to my site so I don´t have to negotiate El Salvador on a bus. WOOO HOOOO. If you have to get injured I recomend doing it when your in Peace Corps lol well not really.

Aprovechar en espanol means to take advantage of. . in a good way i think. Well my community is aprovecharing the HELLO out of me. The first day my counterpart had a meeting to introduce me to all the community leaders. The next day he showed me around the WHOLE communidad. The next day we made the community map, and I went to the tienda later and the Grupo Juvenil leader grabbed me and showed me his 1 YEAR PLAN for the group. Are you kidding me? Am I really needed if he has a 1yr plan. Jeebus. The other day my counterpart took me to talk with the Police and the Alcaldie (who by the way is a politician of the windy variety).

Anyways yesterday I didn´t do anything but wash clothes in the river and gather cow dung for fertilizer so I felt like I should take a stroll to the tienda and chat with the Jose (youth group leader) when all of a sudden Roselia (women´s group leader) took hold of me and took me to the Octavo prayer session of someone that i have no idea that died in the US. She also decided to have ¨Take a Gringo to Work¨ day today. She invited me to the Movimient de Salvadoreno Mujeres office today and of course I had no other plans sooooo yeah. I met the padre of the pueblo nearest to my canton today. That was cool.

Okay now for the drama: One of my next door neighbor-s either had a crush on me or something but he aranged with the kids in my house to meet me. He even got my phone number from the kids and started to call me the other night. I was thinking hey he´s cute this isn´t a terrible problem to have except I need to be ¨proper¨ in the eyes of the community so ¨Slow yo Roll¨ slim. I told him off for not asking me for my number and for calling without permission. THE DUDE CALLED 5 TIMES IN ONE NIGHT. Creepy. The next day he sent me a text saying¨i know i shouldn´t bother you but i cant help that i like you, te amo te amo¨ okay enough said. I talked to my counterpart and dude has a common law wife. :) GOOO JAI way to integrate well into the community. No big deal really I sent him, (the dude) a txt saying don´t bother me and he hasn´t talked to me since. buuuut his mom won´t talk to me anymore.. like its my fault her son´s a cheating bastard. oh well

That is my new department in El Salvador. It is right next to San Vicente on the map. I'll be in the north of La Usulutan near the Lempe Rio. GOOGLE it. The first day in site I get to pick the house I'll be living in for the next two years. I don't know if i'll have running water or electricity but it is highly likely. Cross your fingers for me cuase i've been really lucky health wise in that i haven't gotten any form of Montezuma's Revenge. I'm a little sad to be leaving Molineros my training community cause i really like it here. Every wk we play softball and we just had 2 halloween parties. It was really sweet. So i'm a little terrified cause everyone else in my training group is replacing another volunteer and I'm the only one going to a new site. I'll be the first gringa there. WOOT.

Yesterday and today we worked in a milpa ie. cornfield. The first day we plowed and planted corn and beans in a field in my town to get first hand experience of the whole event. . Let me say i could do without that, but i understand how important it is. I sweat my entire body weight out. SERIOUSLY. Today we visited a sight where a REAL PC VOLUNTEER is . . . instead of us (TRAINEES) It was really cool because this guy Rhett, yes his name is Rhett. . . and his middle name is butler. YEAH. . His mom did that to him. Anyways he was an agro'forestry volunteer just like me and had only like 2 months experience working at a landscaping company which makes me feel SOOO much better about gardening with my mom as my experience. He has helped this community do so much from health to harvesting. I totally have a Peace Corps crush on him because of what he´s done. I hope to be as effective a volunteer as he is.

Sidenote

We hopped a bus today to the closest city and it went 5miles an hour and was blaring music. He jimmy rigged his stereo system to the buses speakers and it was awesome. The playlist included. Eye of the Tiger, Ghostbusters Themesong, Girls Just Want to have Fun, and Funky Town. The sky was blue the earth was green and it was actually cool for once in this country. Today was total validation and affirmation for what i´m doing. YAY

Its hot. . .oh and humid. Lol but its going well. I like my village and my host mom.. even if i don´t like the outhouse and the bloody rooster that wakes me up at 1am, 2am, 3am, and 5am. So far no montezuma´s revenge!!!! HERE´s hoping that for the rest of my stay that remains so. Yesterday was my first official day in the village and we went to a festival in Verapaz, the city-town next door. My host mom´s son is in the band so we took lots of pictures of that.

The first and second pictures are of kids that live near me. We were all at the festival.

The third picture is of the volcano Chichantepec.. . i think its called. The fourth is an interesting window at a restaurant that we ate at the first few days and the last is La Calle.

My bathes are from a guacal = bucket. I take one daily cause i sweat terribly. I love the people that are in my group. I have had this thought once or twice. . WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING? but then I remember that Later when i´m over the shock it will be worth the effort. Oh and in renge i´m gonna eat the rooster that keeps waking me up in the middle of the night.

The views expressed in this blog are not representative of the Peace Corps or the State Department.

NOW that is out of the way. Here is the intro to my blog.

INTRO