"This role will be a bit different from what you are used to in regular Peace Corps. This stint is for only 9 months so you don't have the luxury of sitting back and waiting for things to develop like you would if you have 2 years of regular Peace Corps service. So try and focus on the role you are brought in to do. You are brought in as an advisor, and as an advisor it's not necessarily your role to carry out the projects. Once again very different from what you are probably used to, but you are brought in as a HIV/AIDS Technical Adviser, so advise, assemble your team, analyze the issues in the district you are placed, see which programs work and why, and make the appropriate recommendations to the members of the district council and other relevant stakeholders. With such a limited time frame, it's really all you can do." -A former Peace Corps Response Volunteer giving me his thoughts on how to maximize my effectiveness during my time short time in Malawi.And damn he was right. I'm barely a month in and I'm already feeling the time pinch. Holy crap! It's already been a month.... Well like the quote above says I don't have time to sit around and wait for things to develop especially when I have tasked myself with identifying all programs, impact areas, and target zones of all 27 Non Governmental Organizations (NGOs), all 104 Community Based Organizations (CBOs), and all 19 Health Centers (1 government hospital, 12 government clinics, 3 health posts, and 3 private clinics). But before then an analysis of the main health problems of Balaka district is in order such as the analysis of HIV, Malaria, TB, Diarrheal disease of each Sub-Traditional Authority. I will need to then match up the health statistics to programs that are currently running in the district and see which programs need to be increased, strengthened, diversified, etc. All the while using GPS units and GIS software to map out the location of every single NGO, CBO, and health facility in the district. This will allow my team and I to build a map that has the exact location of each stakeholder, see which areas they have programs, and label attributes to each stakeholder to see how they can be most effective. Man.... someone tell room service to bring the cofee AND the Cognac because it's gonna be a long couple of months ahead.Sawali, Kachenga, Kalembo, Nsamala, Chanthunya, Amidu, Nkaya.... The 7 different regions of Balaka district. These regions are more commonly known as Sub-Traditional Authorities. Seems I forgot to mention what a Sub-Traditional Authority in the previous paragraph. The main Traditional Authorities being Kalembo (has Sawali, Kachenga, and Kalembo Sub-Traditional Authorities) and Nsamala (has Chanthunya, Amidu, Nkaya, and Nsamala Sub-Traditional Authorities). I hope that made sense to you all because if it didn't, then well clearly I'm not doing a very good job of explaining.So in a nutshell my team and I will map out the locations of each stakeholder in the district, build a map using stuff like Quantum GIS and google earth, discover which programs are impacting what areas, trying to achieve what goals, and cross reference each stakeholder's programs with the available health statistics and data. At the end of all of this I am hoping to help the District and all stakeholders increase cooperation amongst each other thus eliminating duplication of programs, maximizing the strengths of each stakeholder, and thus being in a position to build a stronger and more comprehensive HIV/AIDS and health strategy. This may seem like an impossible goal and no matter how hard I try this will never come to fruition. But then again, I'm too stupid to know when it's over. So here we go...

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this China who lived through the public health challenges in South Africa, who was exposed to the injustices of the world in Australia and southeast Asia, who studied his trade in America, who actually isn’t from China but is actually from a country next to China which in turn that country’s traditions and heritage can be traced back to China….. Maybe Africans aren’t so far off when they refer to me as China….But yes this China has come back to Africa with the Peace Corpse (not to be confused with corps, only Americans say corps) to do public health work in Malawi. And yeah I'm aware that this blog still has South Africa in its titled, lord's name in vain, I will change it in due time.

Having already done Peace Corps before in South Africa, I was mentally preparing myself for another Pre-service training (You know the training you do before your service, hence the prefix, pre)... A 2 month training in which we had and listen to a bunch of people drone on about mission statements, how community outreach is all about sustainability and empowerment, applying needs assessments and SWOT analyses, learn how to speak in clicks, why women cast spells on men to make them buy data bundles for their internet phones among other things, and have mental health sessions in which all participants had to begin each sentence with the words "I feel". Example: I feel that we should stop having "I feel" sessions. Our PST for PC Response was one week in which we learned survival Chichewa (most widely spoken language in Malawi), learned only things that were relevant to our job description and work environment, and learned practical skills to implement at site.

Many people call Malawi the warm heart of Africa and it truly does have a different feel about it. The racial tension that is so rife in South Africa is nonexistent here. And even my superiors in the Peace Corps office speak differently. Example:

"You have all done Peace Corps before and you are all adults. I'm not going to sit here and treat you like children. I don't care where you go, and I don't care what you do. This is a job. As long as you get it done and get results, what you do with your free time is your own business."

-Our boss in Peace Corps Malawi

"Mr. Tran. Let me remind you that you are not a private citizen here in South Africa, you are a representative of the United States Government and by joining Peace Corps you agreed to forfeit certain rights that a private citizen enjoys.” (I didn't even do anything wrong! I was just trying to introduce a project I thought was going to be cool, and it was.)

-My boss in Peace Corps South Africa

For the next 8 ½ months I will be located in a District called Balaka. Before getting to site in Balaka which I currently am located, I asked other Malawians to describe Balaka for me, and there really was only one word, only one adjective that could be used to describe it.

“Balaka. It is HOT.”

“You want to know what Balaka is like? It is hot.”

“Very hot, Balaka is.”

“Oh man today was terrible, it was so hot, probably because we drove around this place near Balaka.”

And when I walked into the office today after the 30 minute walk it takes to get from my house to the office, my co-worker took one look at me, turned on the fan, told me to get in front of it, and proceeded to say, “Yeah, Balaka is hot man.”

For the next 8 ½ months I will be working with the Balaka district assembly and other local government branches to help improve access to health services, increase cooperation and coordination between varying stakeholders and mitigate the impacts of HIV. Being able to go around with 3 members of the National AIDS Commission evaluating community based organizations around the area and in some of the most rural and remote parts of the district you gain a greater appreciation of the happenings and the challenges that I’ll face on a constant basis.

After 7 hours worth of evaluating CBOs we were driving back to the district office and one of the field team members said, “I’ve been doing this for 4 years and it’s days like today that get me thinking do some of the people that work at these CBOs even care? Is it even possible to capacitate some of the organizations we deal with? Even though I understand how important building the capacity of organizations at the community level it leaves me drained. But man when an organization does function, it can be really exciting. Helps remind me that we can build a better future.”

The next several months will be hard. We are few, resources are limited, the challenges are many, and the road seemingly has no end. I did 2 years of organizational capacity building in South Africa so I understood his sentiment but I said to him, "It is hard but as you said it's important and community based organizations are the backbone of everything that we do. If they fail, we fail. And by helping some of these organizations over the long term we are closer to the future we envision." He nodded and we drove over pot holed ridden dirt roads for the next hour talking about sports, politics, and America.

He didn't ask me about what the future I envisioned was and it may sound stupid and naive, hell it is stupid and naive. That future was a world that is free of AIDS, free of TB, free of malaria, a world in which every child has a chance to realize their potential, where the wrongs of the world are righted. I will be long gone well before I could ever see such a world but I will do whatever is necessary to build toward that future. Because when you play the game of public health you either win, or you along with everyone dies, there is hardly an in between (a little game of thrones? How lame). But there are others out there that are building toward the future they envision a reality. Those are the people that play to win or in the end die trying. So I guess when it comes to the game of public health.... let's play.

Why the F*$K are you going back?

Hopefully this blog post will better answer your question.

“All news out of Africa is bad. It made me want to go there.”

-Opening line of Dark Star Safari

“As cool as your Peace Corps service was, don’t you think it’s time for you to get a real job?”

-A friend that was a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer with me in South Africa giving me career advice.

“Dude, I just lost a lot of respect for you.”

-My cousin telling me this after we were discussing how much money I made a month during Peace Corps, how much money I will make during Peace Corps Response, and how much money I will make while attending graduate school. I simply said to him that sometimes it’s not about the money, and you yourself would do well to remember that.

“Clearly after your Peace Corps service you will have more experience than most others in your field and you may just have more advanced world views that will allow you to be an incredible health professional. But you did your time, paid your dues, and gained the experience you need. Do you think you really need to go back?”

-During a discussion with my friend who already thinks that I have what it takes to be a good public health practitioner.

“So based on what we’ve discussed it seems that you have a real love and passion to be in the field and working on projects on the ground. Do you think you would be able to happily make the transition to a job like this that does require you to be at a computer desk for a lot of the time?”

-Interviewer during a job interview and the exact moment where I realized I was not going to get this job.

“I can tell you right now that anyone who doesn’t think Peace Corps is a real job is a fool. It is the realest job you can ever have and if you want to get ahead in the field that we are in then trust me Peace Corps is the ultimate piece of street cred.”

-During an informational interview with the head of the American Red Cross Africa development program, who happens to be a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.

“Wow that’s awesome. There is something truly amazing about Africa. I visited Lesotho and just visiting there and feeling the warmness of the people, there was simply something magical about it. Awesome that you decided to go back man.”

-My brother’s friend shortly after meeting him and telling him what I do.

“I am so glad that you have decided on this route. I have been a member of government for over 30 years and I have seen development officials and agencies come and go. And I can tell you that during my conversations with them they had no clue what happens on the ground level. The fact that you are willing to go back under such conditions is a true testament to your character and your belief in that you need to experience the problems yourself to truly find solutions. I don’t know other people’s thoughts on you going back but if you are serious about becoming a real international development official I know you are making the right decision.”

-My neighbor after telling him I was joining Peace Corps again.

“Oh my god! Please take me with you!”

-My friend who was a fellow Peace Corps volunteer with me in South Africa after I told her I was joining Peace Corps again.

Yes ladies and gentlemen. It’s official. I’m going back to Africa to the lovely country of Malawi as a Peace Corps Response Volunteer for 9 months to help district health offices strengthen their HIV/AIDS programs. I leave Monday November 14, 2011…. Holy crap that’s 9 days!

Let’s see if you can guess why I would want “to go back”

a. I think it’s weird that there is so much access to absurd amounts of food.

b. I think that constant questions like “Does everyone in Africa walk around with spears?” Are extremely silly. (They don’t by the way. I think that in a lot of African countries walking around with a weapon is illegal, I could be wrong though because there are a few dudes that walk around with spears, but not everyone.)

c. I get tired of having conversations with people about development in Africa that mistakenly claim their cynicism is wisdom and who’s only experience in developing countries is reading a BBC article about people in Africa dying. (You should be pointing out how big of an arrogant/elitist asshole I am at this point, but in my defense, that guy was a jerk.)

d. I miss being called “China” all the time and it being a reason that I’m accused by police of human trafficking simply because of my race (This was a long and/or hilarious situation)

e. I actually almost kind of miss almost dying all the time. (almost)

f. I enjoy the automatic sense of community I feel even though I’m an outsider.

g. I really and truly see the difference that can be made by dedicating time and effort in developing the skills of people on the ground and developing health programs by working through the daily challenges that such programs face.

h. All of the above

If you guessed answer….. Come on now there really is only one answer.

I’ve been feeling strange for some time. Not drinking a case of natty light then topping it off with a few four lokos strange, but more like the feeling you get when you go to chipotle and order the double meat and decided on getting the 3 for $3.33 taquitos deal at 7-11 afterward strange. After the euphoria of seeing family and friends I ultimately had to begin the job search. During the progression of each interview and as they asked me questions about my Peace Corps service I got more and more nostalgic about my service and I knew during each interview that at this point of my life, a point in which the foundation of my professional career will be formed, I had to go back into the field. It’s in my blood. It’s where I belong.

Now I think you’re all thinking yeah well of course your work will benefit the people you work with (But will it really? A question that we will discuss in the future.) but how is this going to benefit you (in this case if you are asking then that would be me)? This experience will help me develop my skills as public health practitioner, further give me experience in certain situations that I may face later in a higher role, and this will help me frame my education more effectively while at the same time help me evolve my world views, see the world with my own eyes, and further understand the challenges that people face on a daily basis. I’m convinced that this is the best course of action for me at this time (No I’m not doing this because I couldn’t find a “real job”). I’m doing this because I truly want to.

As for the job itself, I have been labeled as a “HIV/AIDS Techincal Adviser” and while they sent us a 6 page job description of what we will be doing and what our goals are, I still have no idea what this entails. I have no idea where I will be living, and I have no idea what my living situation will be like. Come on this is still Peace Corps people. I won’t have any idea what’s happening till I get there. Hopefully I will get to research the social determinants of HIV and the difficulties in access to HIV services and be given the freedom and autonomy to do so, but I guess we’ll see in time.

To all my friends and family, thanks for a great few months since I’ve been back. You will be missed, but it’s time to get back into it.

Prologue to Blog 34: Quotes to consider while reading this blog post which is pretty long but you may find it intriguing. I at least guarantee that.

"Mr. Tran. Let me remind you that you are not a private citizen here in South Africa, you are a representative of the United States Government and by joining Peace Corps you agreed to forfeit certain rights that a private citizen enjoys.” -A high ranking Peace Corps South Africa staff member shooting down a project idea I presented to her.

“So I hear you want to start an NGO when you get out. How do you feel that you will be stripping the already limited resources from other NGO’s in the area by directly competing with them for funding and potentially stealing their most qualified staff members thus crippling their entire operation?” -A fellow Peace Corps volunteer after she heard that I wanted to start an NGO when I completed my service. Important to note, she stated this before she heard what the idea was.

“As amazing as this NGO idea sounds I just don’t feel like you would be in an effective position to do what your organization say you would do. I just don’t think people here are willing to change the way they work even if it is for the better. People are just set in their ways no matter how bad it is.” -A fellow Peace Corps after I explained to her the idea of a NGO that I potentially could try to create.

Beginning of Blog 34 Although my blog is named after the book “The World is Flat” by Thomas Friedman (noticed I changed World to Earth to avoid any sort of copyright infringement? Like Friedman or anyone actually would care anyway) I had not read it until recently. Pretty retarded yeah? Your response should be “Yeah pretty retarded that you named your Peace Corps blog, which in many respects is supposed to be a fairly detailed account of your experiences, thoughts and musings about your life in Peace Corps which is a pretty significant part of your life, is named after a book that you have not even read. In fact you never even opened it? Looked at the cover? Yeah, retarded.”

Ah yes thanks for that. Anyway, the book “The World is Flat” is about the history of globalization and the different movements within it that has gotten us to the world we know today. Even though I did not read it until recently I had heard about the book in my macroeconomics class I took right before I left for Peace Corps. My professor explained the concept of the book in class and from what I understand it seemed as if he was saying that the world has entered into a new age of globalization one with an increased emphasis in collaboration not just between companies but individuals around the world that share ideas and develop practices and share them with each other. He stopped explaining the book shortly afterwards and went on teaching about something called “supply and demand”. The idea intrigued me, this flat world. Living in an area that is so connected to the world (Washington D.C. Metropolitan area) I couldn’t help but think this is a type of globalization I can believe in, rather than the skeptics that lambast any sort of international cooperation and call for decreased communication between countries (cough*Ron Paul*Cough). Believing that there is a lot more we have to gain by learning from one another and sharing ideas around the globe I shortly left for Peace Corps without ever reading the book but nonetheless decided to name my blog “The Earth is Flat” after it based on this idea.

22 months later I sit here writing this blog and repeatedly looking at this “World is Flat” book on my bedroom floor that helped me put into perspective my views of not just globalization and the world but probably more importantly it helped me put into perspective my view of the NGO field in which I currently find myself working in. (PC places us in different NGO’s in different parts of South Africa and pretty much tells us “good luck see you in 2 years”). There was one part of the book that I took great interest in: “Flattener #8: Insourcing, What the Guys in Funny Brown Shorts Are Really Doing.” That’s right the guys in the funny brown shorts would be those working for our dear old United Parcel Service. I was shocked by this next fact: That these funny brown shorts dudes weren’t just delivering parcels to your doorstep but they were dictating how businesses do business. To keep it short UPS apparently goes into different businesses and learns everything it can about that business: what they are producing, where they operate, how they operate, how they acquire materials, who they connect with, who their partners are, who their target population is, how they deliver their service/goods, pretty much they learn the entire layout of a business and how they function and why they are functioning in a certain way and then make changes to it based on UPS’s observations and the needs of the business to increase their efficiency. And if there are any missing links to making any improvements then UPS will help that business connect with persons that can help bridge that missing link thus helping that business streamline its operations, connect it to the globalized world, and helped make improvements that would help sustain long term profit gains. HUH? Yeah UPS acting as an external entity that was able to see certain businesses operations and the environment they work in objectively and help them make changes and connect to the world and compete with the big guns and in the process leveled the playing field for that company and flattened the world. Simply amazing really.

It was shortly after reading this part of the book that my friend, a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, I had earlier served with approached me about the idea of creating an NGO when I got out of Peace Corps and when he got out of Grad School. He was adamant about me joining his quest to build an NGO with him and his wife, I agreed and we started brainstorming ideas. He originally started with ideas such as helping communities become self-sustaining by helping them develop their own agricultural practices and self-sustaining technologies free from influences from the outside world like a Kibbutz in Israel (at least that’s what I think he was saying). But continuing my reading of the “World is Flat” I really wasn’t into the idea. I told him I wasn’t sure if isolation is the way to go anymore and that perhaps we should implement a tempered form of globalization focused on the sharing of technologies and ideas and that the earth is flat, there’s no going back.

I kept thinking about NGO ideas but I was at a crossroads. How could our NGO assist with a multitude of issues such as HIV/AIDS, TB, food insecurity, poverty alleviation and other issues without competing directly with other NGO’s for precious resources and funding (the bad part of globalization)? I put the thought aside as I had to work on making contacts with egg layers in other areas so they could help build our poultry project. Without their help and expertise the project wouldn’t succeed so I needed to fill in this expertise gap that my organization was lacking when it came to raising and sustaining chickens… And then Eureka, just liked that the idea popped into my head, incepted somehow without my knowledge. I did not have to look far indeed as all I had to do was look at my own Peace Corps service and the service of others here in South Africa as I finally had a complete answer to the question “What do you do in Peace Corps?”. My answer jokingly to anyone now would be “I was the UPS of the NGO’s in my community.” So what is the NGO you ask? We become the guys in funny brown shorts, we become the UPS of the NGO field, minus the parcel delivery of course. I mean what did I do for the last 2 years? The same thing that UPS does with businesses, except this time PCV’s in South Africa are doing it with schools/NGO’s.

Let me start from the top and I’m not alone in this as every other PCV must do this when they get to site. When I came to my organization 2 years ago I asked a series of questions that revolved around one main question topic, “Where do you want to be in 2 years?” (The time I had to work with that particular community, as our Peace Corps contracts are only 2 years.) I knew what I wanted to do which was to build stronger HIV/AIDS education programs, and develop health strategies that would help alleviate health problems such as TB in the area. But of course I needed my organization to be on board with it. Members of my organization then listed out several things that I thought were interesting. Instead of them saying we want you to get us more money. Then said things like “We want to be able to function more effectively as an organization and develop a real strategic plan.” Or “Our funders want us to report our stats in a certain way but we are struggling with it. We want to be able to do it by ourselves without your help. Can you help us with that?” The list went on and on. At the end of it all I agreed to help with everything, but I needed something in return. I told them that in order for me to help you I need to know everything that you do, how you do it, why you do it, who you are doing it to, who you are doing it for, and who are you doing it with. I didn’t quite say it like that but those were the subjects we were trying to get at as stated in our Peace Corps mandated Needs assessment of our communities and organizations. Leonardo DiCaprio said it best in inception, “If I am to help protect you then you need to be completely honest with me. I need to know everything, your every thought. If you have a safe, I need to know what’s in that safe.”

Just like the UPS guys I learned every in and out of my organization. I learned how to do their reporting, what they wanted to report, what their funders wanted out of those reports and merged the ideas of what the organization wanted and what the funder wanted and we did it all electronically on our computer. I learned every deadline for every report and document (stats, finances, project description, events, patient databases, sign-up sheets, advertisements, brochures) and showed members of my organization as to how to develop these things. Of course the concept of internet and technology was very foreign to members of my organization and set out to teaching members of my organization how to report everything electronically and send them to funders via email. So essentially our organization was able to use technology to streamline their reporting and communication into a more efficient process. As wonderful as this sounds it was not easy, in fact it was extremely frustrating at times. Technology is no good if the people that need to use it cannot grasp it and it was a long process to help people in the organization and I think many PCV’s have gone through this long arduous process. If there was one thing I learned during this process it’s that NGOs cannot develop effective programs if their administrative core is not working at a high capacity. Only by having a strong administrative core can the organization and the ideals of that organization be sustainable. By doing this our funders were impressed with the core of our organization and were more willing to offer additional funding assistance and help expand programs. Only by laying the foundation can that organization use that foundation to develop effective outreach programs. I’m glad to say I feel like our organization has reached this point. Unfortunately I was not able to develop projects that I wanted to develop without this foundation but now that the foundation was laid. We could go on to that.

The next step was to expand. We created stronger partnerships with other organizations in the area. Once again that required at least a small understanding of what different organizations in the area do and how there could be a partnership. Talking to different persons of different organizations I got to understand more in depth as to how they perceived different problems and issues in the area. Helping talking to different funders and government officials I was able to learn what was expected of different organizations in the area. Different organizations in the area do different things so I realized that instead of competing against each other by doing similar services and see different organizations fail to gain resources we talked to different organizations to maintain a core focus of services and not to expand if not ready to do so. This resulted in my home based care being the main organization the offered care services in people’s homes, another organization could offer food support to families with Department of Social Development funding, and another organizations main focus would be broad based counseling services. This allowed for different organizations to cooperate and refer persons that needed assistance to each other. This became greater when the local clinic came on board to refer patients to relevant organizations.

The other step after this was to develop projects. Things that I had set out to do in Peace Corps I was finally able to do. Developing a TB DOTS program was not possible if we were not able to record the progress of different patients in taking their medication. Our organization has that capacity now and as such the clinic was willing to develop a stronger TB DOTS program with us. Developing a stronger HIV/AIDS education outreach program became a lot easier now that there was a foundation to work from and a partnership with different organizations established. We trained several persons to be peer educators and placed them in different zones and are now teaching people about HIV/AIDS and to break the silence. Another project we started was the development of a income generating egg laying project. In which we would raise chickens that lay eggs and sell the eggs to the community at a reduced price so members of the community would be able to save money while increasing food security.

I could talk about more projects but the point of this is that instead of developing a NGO that offered its own service and competed with organizations directly if our NGO focused on learning intimately the process of how organizations work, the challenges that they face, learning about the community in which they are located in, we would be able to impact a lot more change by helping these organizations achieve high functionality by integrating technology into their daily operations and focusing on helping them develop their own programs through shared ideas and practices from other parts of the world that could be adapted the area we work in.

So essentially the NGO would be what a lot of Peace Corps volunteers do except there are a few differences. As stated in the first quote we PCV’s are not afforded the ability to travel freely. Being free from the Peace Corps Bureaucracy would allow members of the NGO to move around to different parts of the area and establish more effective long distance relationships especially with potential funders and program developers. Being allowed to drive would allow for this to happen more effectively. Next and perhaps the most important part of this entire operation is that when capacitating organizations or developing projects members of the NGO would be allowed to work in teams. Different members of the team would have a different core skill. One person could be the health strategist, another person could be the technology specialist, several people could work as capacity builders and administrative specialists, another person could be an agricultural specialist, and another person could work as a business development specialist that helps organizations or budding businesses in the area develop income generating projects. By allowing people to do what their skill set is tailored to it could allow for more effective development and allow for people to do different things that they are good at and passionate about. I am proud of a lot of things about my Peace Corps service but I had to ask myself, what do I know about Chicken farming? Wouldn’t that be a job more suitable for an agricultural specialist? I helped my organization balance its finances and show them how to do their financial reporting, but what do I know about accounting? A job more suitable for an administrative person or accountant, no? Obviously each member of the NGO will have to be able to do a variety of things but their core focus would be their skill set. The administrative/capacity builders will have the most difficult and most crucial job so there will have to be many of them. Without a solid base to operate from the organization will not be able to develop programs with the assistance of other members of the NGO. This would also allow for more communication between the funder and the the organization being funded. We could act as a temporary liason while the organization is brought up to speed with any new reporting systems. We could offer continuous support to organizations in the area as our NGO will be situated in the area in which it operates.

Imagine this hypothetical situation. One particular village’s clinic in partnership with that village’s home based care wanted to start a TB DOTS program to ensure that persons infected with TB take their medication everyday and complete treatment but are having trouble with caregiver accountability and patient defaulting. The health strategist can determine which areas in the village have high cases of TB and help the nurses assign caregivers to different TB patients based on need. But to increase the likelihood of patients taking their treatment and caregivers going to a patient’s home to see if those patients are taking treatment we can develop a scanner system that indicates which patients have taken their treatment and who hasn’t. There is cell phone technology that allow for cell phones to scan bar codes of any kind. So let’s say business expert can contact companies that develop this technology and try to acquire those cell phones/barcode scanners. Each caregivers’ cell phone could be fitted with these barcode scanners. Each TB patient is issued a green card with a check list to indicate if they have taken their TB medication. Each TB green card could be outfitted with a barcode as well as the bottle of medication that the patient has. So the caregiver could come to that person’s house, scan the medication bottle, watch the patient drink the medication, and then scan the green card. The technology person can develop a database inside the home based cares involved and the clinics involved to be alerted when the medication bottle is scanned and the green card is scanned. This would allow for the nurses in the clinic to mark who has taken their medication that day and who hasn’t and if they haven’t they can contact the patient and/or the caregiver as to what the complication was. Also it can track whether a patient needs to have a medication refill or not as the number of times the bottle is scanned can indicate how much medication is left in the bottle. So 3 different persons with different skills were able to work in tandem with different people on the ground in the clinics and the home based cares to develop a more effective TB DOTS Program that emphasizes caregiver and patient accountability at the same time the Nurses at the clinic would be able to monitor patients more effectively and their treatment regimens.

By allowing people of different skills and disciplines work in a multi-disciplinary team while at the same time using more advanced technology to enhance and streamline the operations of NGOs in the area it would allow for an increase in productivity thus helping the people of that area. As for the last quote at the top, it is true that some organizations might not be ready for such a drastic change and output, but that acceptance comes with time. And if we show that we will be there assisting and teaching them every step of the way they will gain more confidence in themselves and their ability to grow. This in turn can help collaboration between different organizations and service providers in the area to coordinate their services and thus making help and assistance more accessible. This is by no means a new idea, but it is not a prominent one, and it all started with a simple statement, “The earth is flat, there’s no going back.”

I can only explain to people back home what things are like here only so well. It’s somewhat difficult to discuss what the racial tensions are like, what daily situations are like, or the bad grammar that rural South Africans really have. So instead of explaining it, you will hear it straight out of the dragon’s mouth. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you the best quotes from South Africa and perhaps the most controversial as well.

Real quotes from real people. Some quotes are translated from Siswati to English.

“Hello China how are you?” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A 7 year old boy in my village inquiring how I am doing. My response being my name is not China and I’m not from there.

“Hello mlungu how are you?” - A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -Same 7 year old boy in my village inquiring how I am doing. He explained that if I’m not a China then I’m a mlungu or a white person/foreigner.

“Hello Sibusiso how are you?”- A Village in Eastern Mpumalanga -Same 7 year old boy in my village inquiring how I am doing. After several days of explaining my name is not China or Mlungu and that my name is Sibusiso, he finally caught on.

“You’re still whiter than the people that serve him coffee.” – Pretoria/Tshwane, capital of South Africa -A fellow PCV’s response after a white South African spoke to me in Afrikaans. The above statement was a response to my question of “what about me (being of Asian heritage) would indicate that I speak of Afrikaans?”

“I cannot believe your parents would actually let you live in the townships with the black people.” -Pretoria/Tshwane -An Afrikaaner man during a discussion we were having as to what I was doing in South Africa.

“They say Apartheid is over, but then why are we the black people still suffering? Why is it that all the white people have all the money and all the black people are poor? Why is it that the only chance for a decent living for the black man is to serve under the white man. They say Apartheid is finished, but I assure you it is still the same.” – A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A black man in my village during a discussion of what some of the underlying issues that need to be addressed before any real progress can move forward.

“I love when people say ‘borrow me’ may I borrow or can I borrow. It’s just so much more efficient. -A fellow PCV giving her opinion on the statement ‘borrow me’ vs ‘can I borrow’.

“Can you borrow me your pen?” – A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A student I help tutor asking me if I can let him borrow a pen.

“Can you borrow me R20?” – A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -One of my coworkers asking if I can let her borrow R20.

“Borrow me your bling.” – A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A village rapper before the start of making a rap video, asking a fellow PCV if he can let him wear his gold necklace so he has more bling during the video.

“Is that your son?” – A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A young boy pointing at my friend a fellow PCV that is blatantly a female and around my age. My response was yes. She is my son.

“Sometimes I wish I was white or at least born in an area where there are a lot of white people since I hear the schools are amazing. Maybe then I’d have a chance.” – A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A kid in the village as he looks around at the dilapidated area around him and a score of 9/30 on this quiz which happened to be the highest score in his 67 person class. 2nd highest score was a 5/30.

“Better start running India.” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A kid in my village informing me I better start running after the police started firing rubber bullets into the crowd after he started running.

“We’re bringing you back home, back to India where you belong.” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A police officer after he arrested me for walking on the street and subsequently tried to deport me back to India where I belong. He claimed the reason I was detained was because I was inciting racial violence during a riot.

“YOU! PASSPORT! NOW!” –A police checkpoint on the way to Nelspruit -A police officer demanding documentation from me (and only me despite 15 other people being in the taxi) after our mini-bus taxi was stopped at a police checkpoint. He informed me that the reason he asked because he thought that I was potentially trafficking people over the South Africa-Mozambique border because there was a large influx of Thai prostitutes during the World Cup.

“You Indian people think you are so smart don’t you? Think you are good business people…You think you can come into our villages and take over our businesses leaving nothing for us black people. Think you are so smart as you try to go to Naas to go back to work at Patel, but say you are going to Block B so you can save R1.” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A man working at my local mini-bus taxi rank as I try to go to my village that does not have a mini-bus taxi going directly into it and instead goes via Naas plaza (my shopping town). The man thought that I was an Indian person that worked at a hardware store called Patel that is owned by people of South Asian descent and that I was trying to cheat him out of R1 by saying I was going into Block B instead of where I allegedly work. This happened on more than 1 occasion.

“He doesn’t work for Patel. He works at the home based care in Block B trying to help people with HIV. Show some respect.” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A woman at the mini-bus taxi rank that explained to the above man the actual situation. After the third time I was harassed by the above man.

“Of course you don’t think it’s that dangerous. The reason being no black people are going to mess with you because they think you’re Jackie Chang or something. -A discussion I had with a white South African as to the safety issues of riding a mini-bus taxi or being around the taxi ranks not realizing that the guy is named Jackie Chan, not Jackie Chang.

“Ni hao?” Witbank, home of Eskom the biggest electrical company in South Africa -a black South African working at the mini-bus taxi rank asking me how I am in Chinese.

“Wait you’re not from China?” –Nelspruit, capital of Mpumalanga -a black South African working at the taxi rank sparking up conversation with me.

“Ah sorry I thought you were a China or something.”-Johannesburg, 2nd biggest city on the African continent -An Afrikaaner sparking up conversation with me.

“You are not a China?” –Port Elizabeth, capital of the Eastern Cape and a major port city -A China disappointed that I wasn’t a China.

“I cannot believe you North Koreans beat us in the soccer last week. I thought you guys weren’t allowed out of your country.” -An Afrikaaner man after I informed him I was Vietnamese and that is where my family is from.

“I don’t know how you Japanese people do it. I mean the whole Kamikazee thing. It just seems like a totally ineffective battle strategy.” -An Afrikaaner man after I informed him I was Vietnamese and that is where my family is from.

“Vietnam… Wasn’t there a war there a few decades back? Yeah I think I’ve heard of it. Near Japan right?” -An Afrikaaner man after I informed him I was Vietnamese and that is where my family is from.

“Obviously there were a lot of things that were terrible about Apartheid, the segregation, human rights violations, police brutality, the killings, the list goes on. But for me I think the worst thing about Apartheid was the loss of human potential. You think about all the problems of South Africa, that span from a lack of doctors, HIV/AIDS, lack of engineers, to massive poverty in the townships and the rural areas, and it makes me think what if during the Apartheid era we didn’t deny those people an education, didn’t restrict their freedoms and their opportunities… I wonder if South Africa would have those problems today if the people that suffered under Apartheid were given a chance.” -An Afrikaaner woman giving a tour to a few people on top of Table Mountain in Cape Town

“The teacher took out his belt and started beating me. He whipped me 7 times with his belt. It hurt to even stand afterwards. He said to the class afterwards let this be a lesson to all of you that come late to class but sometimes there was no reason for us being beaten. I was afraid of going to school but I didn’t want to disappoint my mother. So I went and the beatings continued.” –A village in central Mpumalanga -A man speaking about what it was like going to school during Apartheid

“How can we discipline our children if these laws are in place? What will make them stop going crazy? They are starting to go absolutely wild with no control. These laws protecting children’s rights are destroying our culture.” –A village in central Mpumalanga -A woman speaking about anti-corporal punishment laws and how she thought it was affecting South African society

“A lot of the educators around South Africa keep saying how they cannot stop the learners in their classrooms from misbehaving. How they are not willing to learn. How with the new anti-corporal punishment laws in place the teachers cannot control their classes and cannot discipline children when they misbehave. The educators say the learners have no respect for the teachers. That may be true as it is a reality here in South Africa, but as a teacher myself I can say that they are not totally right. Kids respect knowledge. Kids respect the fact that you respect their ability to understand the material you teach. And they also respect good teaching abilities. And if you have those things and do those things then they will respect you as an educator. You will then see the true willingness to learn amongst learners in South Africa. But you cannot blame some of these teachers that they themselves went through a system of Apartheid that did not allow them to learn the things that these learners today are learning. There was no access to physics or maths or arts. They were simply taught skills and knowledge that made them effectively servants to work under white people like how to clean or how to cook or how to fix an engine, but not letting them understand why an engine truly worked. Higher education standards was not a reality as there was a fear of knowledge is power and if black people had too much knowledge they would then take power away from the whites. They were beaten if they asked any critical questions. Critical thinking was not allowed. If all the teachers these days went through this system and that’s all they know and were never taught the material that they are teaching. Then why should we be surprised that the state of South African schools 16 years after Apartheid is this bad?” –A village in central Mpumalanga -A young teacher born at the end of the Apartheid era but matured through the beginning years of independence giving his thoughts on South African educators/teachers

“Looking at the crumbling health systems, increasing HIV/AIDS, the increasing poverty, and the problems that a relatively rich nation has in comparison to the rest of Africa… Sometimes I really do think in some cases we were better off under Apartheid.” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A black female nurse after I asked her what her thoughts were on the progress of the health of South Africa

“Living on the borders of Mozambique and Swaziland. It should not shock you that here in Block B there are more Mozambiquans and Swazis in this area than actual South Africans. In fact at one point almost 80% of the students at this school were from Mozambique. It broke my heart to know that none of them would be allowed to graduate since they did not hold South African IDs. It seems another promising generation of youth will also fail like our generation did because of the way the schools are.” –A village in Eastern Mpumalanga -A local school principal discussing migration issues along the border of Mozambique and Swaziland in our area

“So you came to see me die too?” -A man after he asked me if I could cure his AIDS and I said I could not. He died 2 days later.

“Don’t worry. I wear a condom every time and I go for testing every 3 months like I’m supposed to.” -A young friend of mine in the village after I went to talk to him about his “risky behavior” and rumors that he is sleeping around. It’s a start.

“Did you drive here from America?” A village in Central Mpumalanga -A child in the village asking about how I got to South Africa.

“The movie Invictus was alright. It was a little too Hollywood American and it probably would have been better if there were more South Africans in it. Also I think that it left this large impression that the problems concerning racial tension and divisions in South Africa are over, when it clearly is not.” -An Afrikaaner man giving me his thoughts on the movie Invictus and the lingering racial Issues in South Africa.

“But everyone has DSTV (satellite TV) in South Africa right?”-Port Elizabeth, capital of the Eastern Cape -An Afrikaaner woman after her boyfriend was explaining to me that it was unfortunate that the only access to independent news stations that are not owned by the government are only accessible through satellite TV, which ultimately affects the bias in news coverage.

“No I would say that there really is only about 8 percent of South Africans have DSTV and that an extreme majority of black South Africans do not have DSTV or satellite Television.” -Her boyfriend’s reaction to the above statement.

“The Afrikaaner is indeed uniquely African.” -Nelson Mandela

“No the only real African is the black man.” -A Black South African giving his thoughts on whether he thought that Afrikaaners are to be considered real Africans.

“There not African they are Dutch, they should get over themselves.” –Pretoria, South Africa -An English South African proving that there is racial tensions even amongst different white ethnicities in South Africa.

“I can see why some would not consider us to be indigenous Africans but the matter of fact is over 6 generations of my family have been in this country and have been calling home for all that time. I hope that one day that the black South Africans that have this view can consider me proudly South African as well.”-An Afrikaaner explaining why he sees himself as truly African and his hopes that the racial divide can be bridged in South Africa and all South African people of all races can be seen as truly African.

“Eish! Zulus. A bunch of pompous arrogant pricks if you ask me.” -Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape -A Xhosa man proving that there are racial tensions amongst different black ethnicities in South Africa.

More quotes to come someday soon!

“We tested 147 people in Block B (the name of my community, yeah I know the place is so ghetto that the name of my village is called Block B) last month and 78 test results were HIV positive.” -Chief HIV tester and counselor at one of my village’s nonprofit organizations

53 percent of the people that came into that particular center last month tested positive for HIV. The month before that 46 percent of people that came for HIV testing were found to be HIV positive. The official HIV prevalence of our municipality is 38 percent. But as you can see things in my village may be a bit direr. And with the new round of world wide funding cuts due to the global recession a lot of people are left wondering if the situation is going to get better or worse. I can only imagine what it could feel like to find out that you have HIV, one of the most feared and stigmatized diseases in the world. I remember awhile back when a 17 year old girl came to our home based care center. She had told us that she had recently tested positive for HIV and had not received any counseling after her positive test. It is standard procedure that you are counseled and talked to extensively after you take a HIV test. But this time she told us that after the test they told her to go home. No talk, no feelings of comfort, just to go home in darkness. We then had one of our workers counsel her. She is doing better and continuing her schooling while still talking to several workers at my organization. It makes me think about my own life. What was I doing when I was 17? I was learning how to drive, graduating from high school, going to Prom, and was soon to be attending university to begin a promising chapter of my life. Fairly stark differences compared to that 17 year old girl who had just tested positive for HIV, received no support, was never taught English (the medium of instruction is English in the schools, yet only a small amount of learners speak English) and now has become a living statistic in a village where government and service providers are consistently failing their people.

Many activities and programs I have helped start and overseen are very small scale achievements in relation to the larger picture. As we slowly come to the conclusion that individual Peace Corps Volunteers don’t have the ability to save the world, I suppose you could ask what I could really achieve in this situation. It would be natural for you to think that I was jaded at this point. I have only been here for 16 months. May be a long time but also in the grand scheme of things it really is not. You think I’m jaded? Imagine the chief HIV tester that spoke in the above quote. She’s been doing this for 5 years. I can only imagine how jaded she might feel. She has seen people come and go. She has tried to counsel and console people that have been infected. Imagine how she feels to see and live the challenges as long as she has with little evidence that things are getting better. There have been people working and living here a lot longer than I have, imagine what it’s like to show up to work every day for years and in the grand scheme of things achieve little progress, see people die all the time and all those things. So when I think about being jaded. I wonder myself, people come here to do development work and become jaded, but once again, just imagine how jaded the people here must feel.

I suppose we could call it quits. I could just exclaim, “Oh my god! I’m jaded, I’m rolling out.” But fortunately it doesn’t work like that. Lucky for some, I’m not jaded or perhaps I’m too dumb to know the difference between good and bad situations and situations that I should be jaded about. Now is not the time to be jaded, but now is the time to get people motivated and excited about things as hard as that sounds. It’s one thing to tell people to get motivated and get excited. But one must realize in order to do this people must get excited and motivated about something.

I have submitted a grant proposal focused on scaling up HIV/AIDS education outreach and support for those with HIV/AIDS. All stakeholders and partner organizations would develop a uniform HIV/AIDS curriculum that would become the standard of education in the area. It is important that everyone teaches the same correct information so that people are not confused as to what is the truth. The program would increase the number of HIV/AIDS education volunteers and train them to become efficient killing machines and/or HIV/AIDS educators. We are developing a strategy that would spread out the new volunteers and the existing volunteers in different areas that would help concentrate education efforts and ensure that more people received comprehensive HIV/AIDS education. These would focus on education in schools and a large amount of small focus groups. The main target group would be youth ages 15-24. Giving people knowledge would allow people to make more informed decisions. Also included in the program would be support groups. This would allow people infected and affected by HIV/AIDS to speak openly about their experiences with other members of the group. This in the long run could help break the silence and stigma of HIV/AIDS in the area simply by having people have open and honest discussions about the disease and their experiences. The groups would also be taught income generating skills and business skills so they would be able to have skills that would help them succeed. In the end though, this program would force different organizations and people to work together. By having multiple organizations in the area help out and offer input it would allow more dialogue between organizations.

It’s true that one person cannot change anything. A Peace Corps Volunteer like me on my own cannot save the world. But I don’t intend to. But the work that people can collectively do together may possibly be able to do something. Talking about this project, no matter how simple we may think it is, has gotten plenty of people excited about it. And hopefully it will pan out and perhaps give some semblance of hope and evidence that it is getting better.

It’s over. The world cup really is over. Rumor had it playing Wavin Flag over and over again would bring it back. It’s been 3 weeks and sad to say, it really is over, never to return again and also I might be getting a little tired of hearing how Knaan will be called freedom just like a waving flag. How do I feel you ask? How do I feel? I feel like I got dumped by the World Cup. I mean how will I be able to justify going up to every South African person I see and scream “Welcome to South Africa! Can you feel it?!” (What? I got tired of people saying that to me, so my strategy, say it to them and BAM they have no clue what to do.) The World Cup…. She dumped me and ran off to Brazil. Not cool! Just don’t get over a loving and caring relationship like that easily! Seriously. Move over March Madness because the World Cup is so much hotter than you! I know sacrilegious if not downright insulting. But think about it. The World Cup is so powerful it can cause work stoppages like South Africans protesting during strike season probably because they want more pap during their lunch breaks, people were straight up glued to their televisions! This is a tournament that make world leaders think about putting further economic sanctions on North Korea because their 7 goal debacle caused one of the African favorites, Ivory Coast, to get bounced from the tournament. In 2006 when the Ivory Coast qualified for their first ever World Cup people within the warring factions that were part of the nation’s civil war literally put down their guns and called a cease fire. Didier Drogba fires in a 25 yard shot and what do people do? Stop killing each other! This actually stopped a civil war! An Israeli person and a Turkish dude hugged each when Andres Iniesta scored the goal that won Spain the World cup. And the Lebanese guy wants in on the hugs to? Why? Because they are Barcelona fans. I mean this is a tournament that actually makes Americans care about soccer! I mean good lord come on people that $H%& is crazy! What could seriously achieve all these things? Looking back on it all it really was awesome.

And there were some amazing moments during our amazing, yet short lived relationship. How amazing were some things? Let’s put some stuff into terms everyone can understand.

World Cup Superlative Awards!

The Lady Gaga award for person that scares me the most in this entire world.

Franck Ribery. Now this guy straight up looks like Dr. Evil. Just google the guy. And take a look at that scar! When he was 2 years old he was involved in a car accident and was thrown through the windshield. Survived that as a 2 year old! And he refuses to get plastic surgery so he can remember the incident. Now most of the time this would be badass and somewhat inspirational, except for 2 things. Franck is French, and I’m convinced he wants to kill people. I have no basis for the latter statement but just like Lady Gaga the dude just scares me. Runner up to this was Carlos Tevez. Argentine forward who has a similar scar when he was a young boy. And after the 4-0 thumping Argentina took against the Germans. Carlos I’m sure was going to kill someone as well.

The Lindsay Lohan award for going off the deep end.

Just like the Italian National team. The former 2006 World Cup Champions were riding high. And with a crop of talented players in the mold of Mario Ballotelli, Antonio Cassano, Fabrizio Miccoli, Italy would boast one of the most dangerous attacking front lines in the world. And what do they do? NOT CALL UP ANY OF THEM! Lindsay Lohan, you b!t(hed out all the mean girls in town showing everyone who was boss, all the teeny boppers love you and what do you do? Peace Out in a blaze of pure insanity that landed you in jail? Come on! Not too unlike our Italian national team counterparts, because let’s face it they sucked. How are you not going to progress in a group with the likes of New Zealand, Paraguay, and Slovakia? Seriously man. Seriously.

The Andres Escobar award for probably will be killed at some point soon (Andres Escobar a Columbian defender scored an own goal against the USA in 1994 ultimately resulting in Columbia’s elimination in the group stage. He was killed 10 days later as punishment for his actions by a gambling crime syndicate.)

I want to state clearly that I do not wish ill of anyone. This is a tragic story and something that really taints the game and taints sport and left a family to mourn for something that should not have been. And I hope that this won’t come to this since soccer fans are crazy some times as you can see. That being said…. LUIS SUARREEEZZZZ!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! OMG!!! Everyone stop screaming at Thierry Henry because this handball by Suarez was so egregious that I seriously wanted to invade the country of Uruguay. Seriously recall all the troops from Iraq send them to the Suarez residence in Uruguay and just start peeing all over his house. Yeah what would he be able to do about that? Nothing! How does it feel to steal it from the entire continent of Africa Luis? Yeah you can argue, he was given a red card, and maybe Asamoah Gyan should have scored the penalty but you know what that’s like saying on the game winning shot of the NCAA tournament a 7’1” center decides to snag a ball that’s clearly going into the hoop and making the shooter take the free throws. Goal tending. Applicable to soccer too. Runner up for this award. The North Korean Goal keeper. After allowing 7 goals against Portugal I don’t really want to know what Kim Jong Il is going to do to him and his family. Best to not think about it.

The Shakira and Freshly Ground Waka Waka award for super sleek sexy style of play (Have you seen the music

video for Waka Waka? I mean that is the most clothes I’ve ever seen Shakira wear. And you know what? She still looked good!)

The Germans. Never mind the fact that they have a lot of trouble pronouncing the word “Drakensburg”. Never mind that they only came in third place. Never mind the fact that German newspapers in the post Blitzkrieg/Third Reich era proclaimed to the teams playing against Germany was “We will blow you all away”. They played some really nice football. Like really nice. I mean it seemed like every goal the Germans scored was a fluid overload that started with a sprint from deep in midfield. Oh wait that’s because it was. Bastian Schweinsteiger grabbing the ball in midfield and releasing it to Mesut Oezil and Thomas Meuller? Seriously first class entertainment.

The Jessica Simpson award for dumbest responses ever

Several fans were posed a simple question on a South African radio station (Why do you love the World Cup?) and here are some of the responses. Because of all the hot guys. Because there is a winner and a loser. Because there are two 45 minute halves being played. Because soccer balls go in goals. Because it looks cool.

The George W. Bush award for if you are always confident you can never be wrong

Sepp Blatter. I dislike the English national team as much as anyone but bro, that was a goal. No denying it. Even the Germans admitted, yeah it was a goal. Frank Lampard’s strike hit the crossbar and went over the line and it was waived off as not crossing the line. If they just had video replay, they can just reverse the call. But FIFA president Sepp Blatter will not allow that to happen. A similar incident happened during the Argentina v Mexico game (which I saw live, was crazy) in which Carlos Tevez was about 6 meters offside but his goal still stood. Video replay could solve this easily, but instead of putting in video replay Sepp Blatter outlawed replays of goals on the jumbotrons during games so the teams would not be able to see the video evidence! If that doesn’t scream George W. Republican style take over then I don’t know what does.

The Bill Clinton award for It’s not cheating if I’m on my feet

Luis Fabiano. The Brazilian forward’s goal against the Cote d’Ivoire had not just one hand ball involved, but TWO hand balls involved. And the goal stood. No card. No nothing. Minus the blatant cheating, it was a pretty nice goal.

The Sarah Palin award for being able to see Russia from her house and Russia being on the other side of the international dateline, meaning it’s tomorrow there, which ultimately means she can see into the future.

THE OCTOPUS! Picked the winner of the World Cup every time he’s picked. Enough said.

The Eck Veet Ni Afrikaans depragt ni (I don’t know how to speak Afrikaans, in Afrikaans) award for stopping the former opressors

Spain. By defeating the Dutch in the World Cup Final, you not only became world champions but stuck it to those former colonizing bastards! I mean Dutch people are not Afrikaaners and not all Afrikanners were oppressive, and are hardly oppressive anymore as one of my Peace Corps friends who has now become an apartheid sympathizer tries to explain to me. Then I win the argument simply by saying, APARTHEID!!! And there really is no reasonable response that he can give that justifies anything during the Apartheid era. Let’s play a game of connect the dots. Apartheid, a form of government based on segregation and unequal distribution of money and power (Black South Africans were not allowed any real rights, freedoms, or chance of an education) that created a society in which the only chance for black South Africans to earn any money in life was to serve the white South Africans (mainly the Afrikaaners), was started by white South Africans (mainly Afrikaaners) in which most of the Afrikaaners can trace their roots back to Holland because that’s where they originated from. So if A = B, and B = C, then A = C, correct? Not exactly, but hey let’s go with it, and here is the conclusion, the Dutch are actually the oppressive masters of Apartheid! Boo!!!! I mean come on did you see how the Dutch handled themselves in that game, what 9 yellow cards? Okay we know referee Howard Webb is the worst ref ever, but come on how was the play of the Netherlands not oppressive? Disclaimer: This section was only a joke, at least half a joke. All jokes have a semblance of truth to it. Just Kidding! Or am I? Yeah I am.

The guy that gets drafted during the NFL Draft award for crying even when he’s a grown ass man

Landon Donovan. For scoring a goal in the 91st minute against Algeria you proved that soccer has arrived in America. I’m pretty sure this thought may have donned on him after the game was over. It takes a lot to bring a grown ass man to tears. Want to know what it’s like to see a grown man cry? To see a grown man cry not because he’s sad, not because he is full of grief, not because something terrible has happened or anything like that. But to cry like many young African American athletes that get drafted to the NFL or NBA and the only thing they can think of is all the obstacles that they had to overcome to get to that moment, all the hard things they had to endure, growing up in the ghetto knowing that perhaps sports was the only way out and support the family, being the man of the house, having family members killed in neighborhood gang violence, no one having faith in them, to think about all those things right when that guy gets drafted and when the tears start streaming down his face, the only thing he can say when the mic is put to his mouth is “I made it.” You definitely did it Landon Donovan, you made soccer a relevant sport in the eyes of millions of Americans. You made it. The macho man in every man would say Landon was being a little b!t(h, but deep down inside seeing a grown man cry when he overcomes adversity to grab glory out of thin air, well you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t get a little emotional after that.

The R.Kelly and Soweto Spiritual Singers award for “That’s a sign of a victory”

“I could already see from afar that the tournament had been wonderfully organized and that the atmosphere was incredible. Now I’m here I have to say that South Africa should be really proud of themselves. I told President Jacob Zuma that they’re doing a great job and that they’ve gained the respect of the whole world. It’s been a huge victory for the people of South Africa. When we look back on the tournament in the future, we’ll remember Africa in a different light.” -Angela Merkel, German Chancellor

South Africa, by hosting a successful and amazing tournament and providing millions of people with memories for a lifetime, you made it, you did it. You proved to the whole world that you were indeed more than worthy of hosting this and changed the negative views that people had of Africa. You welcomed millions of people to your shores and brought everyone together under a single common bond. You shut those bastards from the English press up that swore the world would end because you were hosting a world cup with your perseverance. I’m proud to have taken part in all of this. So thank you! And hamba kahle! (go well)

Guess it’s time to get back to reality (which yes I have been doing plenty of actual work throughout this time, so shut your holes and I’ll explain in the next blog!) Peace out world cup. See you in Brazil.

Am I about to unleash over 3,500 words of mindless world cup game descriptions? You bet your A$$ I am!

Group C: England 1 – 1 USA, Rustenburg, Royal Bafokeng Stadium, 12 June 2010

Fact that may only interest me – Did you know that the Royal Bafokeng Stadium was financed totally by the community in which it is located? Supposedly the tribe that financed the stadium is also owner to the platinum mines that are in the area and as a result have become the richest tribe in Africa and perhaps the world. No doubt the Bafokengs are rollin out stacks and bling but that doesn’t mean you can just put a track around the field which makes watching the game really difficult! Especially when you are in Category 4 seats behind the goal and are actually about 50 feet away from the field. Depth perception problems galore for real.

Fish and Chips! 1776! 1812! Or-tho-don-tist! Long live the Queen! Mon-ar-chy! -Americans talking trash

“If it weren’t for the Americans you’d be speaking German right now.” – A PCV’s response to an Englishmen’s comments about how the USA sucks.

But hey the English know how to cheer too. “Buh buh buhbuhbuh buhbuhbuhbuh ENGLAND!” yes very creative. Which some people responded with “AMERICA F$%k YEAH!”

No doubt, it was on in Rustenburg in a titanic clash that pitted former master vs former colony in what was labeled at the time as USA soccer’s biggest game ever. Such a special game needed some special attire that included authentic USA soccer jersey (yes the one with the weird stripe thing going down diagonally across it), USA flag used as a cape, and super crazy American flag painted on my entire face.

The atmosphere was incredible with English and American flags waving throughout the match. And let’s just say games move a lot faster in real life. So fast that in the 5th minute you blink once when Wayne Rooney has the ball, you blink again and Emile Hesky is passing it to Steven Gerrard, blink one last time and suddenly the entire English team is running to the corner flags celebrating a goal…. America how you gonna let a drunken bar fighter like Steven Gerrard score in the 5th minute? I wanna see the replay of that goal! Wait, what? The jumbo screens aren’t working? No scoreboard or time panel or anything like that? You mean the only way for me to tell what the time left on the field is when the announcer announces something like “there will be 3 minutes extra of stoppage time….” Great just great. No depth perception, no time perception, no score perception… Great indeed.

So let’s just say the English fans around me had some fun for the first half singing their songs about how they love being ruled by a lady that inherited power because she happened to be born in a family that was labeled “royalty”. If that doesn’t scream “I hate freedom” then I don’t know what does. Yeah God save the queen good for you. But then in the 2nd half something crazy happened. Robert Green the English goalkeeper made a routine save on a relatively weak shot by USA midfielder Clint Dempsey. The depth perception made it somewhat difficult to see what was going on because it happened at the opposite goal post, but he saved it. The ball went into his hands and he caught it, and then kept moving….. Wait kept moving? GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!! USA USA USA!!!! Robert Green mishandled the shot in what was labeled as one of the biggest goalkeeping blunders in English Soccer history. Everyone on our side of the stadium thought he had it saved. But once again the ball just kept moving somehow… right over the goal line. Yeah Queen that b!tc$%&!!! Oh man you should have seen the look on some English fans’ faces! Priceless!

Group D: Ghana 1 - 0 Serbia, Pretoria, Loftus Versfeld Stadium, 13 June 2010

“GO GHANA GO! YEAH GO GHANA YEAH!!!” Fan sitting next to me who constantly kept yelling that throughout the game, and only that throughout the game. Literally he said nothing else and repeated it probably every 30 seconds that had me almost saying “Hey if you don’t know anything about the sport then maybe you should be a little more quiet or at least diversify your chant” but I didn’t because everyone deserves a chance at screaming nonsense at a sporting event.

So night of the England game I went to bed at 3am because we got back so late, and then woke up 7am and was on the road by 8 heading back to Pretoria. Loftus Versfeld is a stadium that is home to the Pretoria Blue Bulls a professional South African rugby team, and it’s actually a pretty nice venue. Seats were really close to the field and the scoreboard, game clock, and replay screen were all working! And the category 4 seats were awesome! First level, 8 rows from the field, behind the goal posts but to the side of it near the corner flags which made the viewing excellent. No doubt, it was sweet.

The game was really exciting. The Serbians played with a real tenacity that made you think that maybe they really did want to kill people after the game was over and the Ghanaians played with a real flair that made you think hey this is pretty exciting to watch. Good thing for us Ghana took over the 2nd half which happened to be our side of the field so we got to see most of it. I kept looking over at one section of the crowd wearing red, green, and yellow that was constantly in motion. Yup the Ghanaians danced the entire game. All 90 minutes. The fans brought an unreal energy to the game and they even had parades around the stadium. I would have joined them, but I was too busy trying to yell “Hey there’s a game going on and you are missing it!” You almost felt bad for the Serbia fans, all 50 of them. Seriously there was maximum 50 at the 49,000 capacity stadium. And when Ghana was awarded and converted their penalty kick. It was pandemonium. The party was on for the rest of the game and it was a ton of fun.

Group C: USA 2 - 2 Slovenia, Johannesburg, Ellis Park Stadium, 18 June 2010

“Where’s your country!?” (clap clap clapclapclap) “Where’s your country!?” (clap clap clapclapclap)

I actually don’t think Americans were talking trash. We really do want to know where your country is located. I tried to find it on a map the other day and let’s just say I get an F. Can you help me find it?

The mighty imperialist empire that is the United States vs the Eastern European minnows that must have been exploited by the West in a terrible way at some point in its history clashed inside Ellis Park. Ellis Park stadium you may know from the movie Invictus where it was the site of the final match between South Africa and New Zealand and at the end President of South Africa Morgan Freeman hands the Rugby World Cup trophy to the Springbok captain. Priceless. This was an interesting game. Standing in my category 3 seats which were a little bit more toward the middle but high up in the stadium I kept wondering “How the hell are we down 2-0 against freaking Slovenia!?!!?? Is this revenge for not knowing where there country is? Karma you couldn’t punish me in a more reasonable fashion? But then it happened. Landon Donovan dribbling unmarked on the byline and BANG roof of the net and USA is on the score sheet. Then it happened again. USA equalized from a goal from Bradley and suddenly 2-2 in the 2nd half. HOLY F#$K! how did that happen? Am I seriously witnessing the most exciting game of the World Cup up to that point? When the USA in the 86th minute put a 3rd goal past the Slovenian goalkeeper I had my answer. YES! I high fived so many people, hugged so many strangers, and had so much beer poured on me in the span of 5 minutes that I failed to realize a crucial detail and that was the goal did not stand and someone told me, “I’ve been trying to explain to you that the goal didn’t count because there was a foul or something for 4 minutes but you were to busy jumping up and down.” The game then ended 2-2 draw with a perfectly good game winning goal disallowed. I better find out where this country is or we are in trouble the next time Slovenia comes around.

Group F: Italy 1 - 1 New Zealand, Nelspruit, Mbombela Stadium, 20 June 2010

“All Whites! All Whites! All Whites! All Whites!” – Chant from the New Zealand fans

How are you going to have a team called the ‘All Whites’ in post Apartheid South Africa? Surely Nelson Mandela is turning in his bed right now.

The All Whites against the Azzuri in Nelspruit’s new ‘Giraffe Stadium’. It’s called the ‘Giraffe Stadium’ because of the suspension posts that support the stadium take the shape of giraffes, an animal that can be commonly seen in nearby Kruger National Park. The stadium is state of the art and the viewing from every seat is incredible. No matter where you are you feel like you are on the pitch, even if you have Category 4 tickets in the top level. The viewing is incredible and this time we could see the entire field with ease. I brought my host brother along and it would be the only World Cup game he could attend in his lifetime and he deserved the free ticket.

The Kiwis came out with some intensity, which was indicated by their ability to get a goal in the 7th minute… Seriously, the Italians played some of the most lackluster soccer I’ve seen ever in this one. As a fan of Italian soccer I had to agree with the critics that it would have been better if they didn’t suck so much and didn’t play boring football. I mean come on, you guys are playing soccer not auditioning for the Olympic diving team. The Italians spent more time on the ground in “agony” than actually playing the game and it made me kind of sad.

Group C: USA 1 – 0 Algeria, Pretoria, Loftus Versfeld Stadium 23 June 2010

“Oleeee, Ole Ole Oleeeeee, USAAAAA, USAAAA!!!!!” -Americans dancing in the street well into the night after the game.

“Can I make your blonde friend my wife?” -A serious question posed to me by an Algerian fan. In which I considered saying yes.

The mood was a bit tense outside of Loftus as the stakes could not be higher. Win and you are in. That’s it. Nothing else to it. Trash talking was a bit hard as every Algerian dude responded to every comment in some crazy language. Fre…n.ch? French I hear its called? No idea, but apparently that means that they were allowed to be arrogant assholes. A real smog of conceitedness filled the air with French speak and the realization that there might be more Algerian fans than USA fans at this game. Good thing they weren’t Mexicans, or I’m sure some American fans would’ve went remember the Alamo on a biotch.

This game had heartbreak written all over it. Every American attack being stifled by the Algerians high back line and the American forwards seemingly having the inability to get well… forward. Shot after shot saved or missed, every dribble stopped with a well timed tackle. Every pass picked off by the hard nosed Algerian midfield. Interesting that Algeria, a team that needed at least 2 goals to win it seemed like they were playing for a tie. Minutes ran off the clock and no luck for the Americans. The referee signaled for 4 minutes of stoppage time and it seemed to be the end. The USA would be out in the first round again. Until it happened. Clint Dempsey…. Loose ball…. Algerian defenders lackadaisical…. Landon Donovan…. Tap in… GOOOOAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!

Words cannot describe this event and the sheer ecstasy and excitement of a game that was deadlocked for 90 minutes with numerous chances for both sides in which the game was decided by the greatest U.S. soccer player ever in the 92nd minute which causes you to get hugged, patted on the back, beer spilt on you, kissed on the cheeks, and to lose vision for a split second in a sheer wave of ecstasy. Seriously, you just had to be there.

Group G: DPR Korea 0 – 3 Cote d’Ivoire, Nelspruit, Mbombela Stadium, 25 June 2010

“Dude, dude. Just listen to me. They can still advance. Imagine this situation. So like Brazil beats Portugal 1 – nil or something like that. You know? Then Ivory Coast beats North Korea by 9 goals. Yeah man it can happen dude. Just gotta have faith!” -An Australian man trying to explain to me that the Ivory Coast still had a chance to advance if the above stipulation happened. (Portugal had a +7 goal differential after they defeated North Korea 7-0)

Yeah it seemed like tough luck for the Ivorians for this one. 9 goals huh? Yeah they have to score 9 goals. Or maybe just 5 goals if Brazil beat Portugal by 5…. Just realize that some crazy stuff had to happen. But that didn’t stop the Cote d’Ivoire fans from partying all game long as they had a 50 person plus drumming section during the entire game. Seriously awesome if not down right inspiring. The North Koreans? Well all 20 of them held up mini North Korean flags, if they indeed were actually from North Korea.

The game had a real sense of urgency. The Ivory coast knew it had to score 9 goals. And with 2 goals coming in the first 20 minutes and the team assembling for the restart really fast, you actually thought for a second that they could pull it off. But it wasn’t their day. And most of the time 3 – 0 would be an excellent result, it just wasn’t 9-0.

Round of 16: USA 1 – Ghana 2, Rustenburg, Royal Bafokeng Stadium, 26 June 2010

“GHANA! GHANA! GHANA! AFRICA! AFRICA! AFRICA!” -Fans all over the stadium screaming in support of the only African team to advance out of the group stages. Yeah USA fans were drowned in a sea of chants to support the last remaining member of the forgotten continent.

Rustenburg again!? But hey you know what that means? USA went top the group and England didn’t. Ha take that ya Brits! Best part was when most British people bought tickets to this game because they actually thought that they would win the group. Should’ve bought tickets to Bloemfontein suckers! And if you didn’t notice, I indeed did go to all 4 USA games. And holy crap we were outnumbered again! So much for “Americans purchasing the most tickets of any nation besides the host nation.”

Once again the viewing kind of sucked. It’s just the stadium is poorly designed. But it was still exciting. Especially when all the goals were on our side of the field. Yes that includes the one scored within 10 minutes against the USA which made me think that the USA was taking this “Oh man no one believes in us and we have to be the underdog and we play under pressure better” thing a little too seriously. STOP CONCEDING EARLY GOALS!!!! But a penalty won by Clint Dempsey and converted by Landon Donovan saw the score even at the end of 90 minutes. Extra time… Which was fun. Even when Asamoah Gyan dribbled it about 25 yards down the right side of the American defense and scored on a scorcher of a shot that left every American fan in tears while proclaiming, “Oh my god, that was the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. Waaahhhh!” It was an exciting game. Ghana deserved to win and considering they were my pick to win the tournament, I could at least be glad about that. Also the USA had a good run and should be proud, except for the fact they lost. Don’t be proud about that.

Round of 16: Argentina 3 – 1 Mexico, Johannesburg, Soweto’s Soccer City Stadium, 27 June 2010

Goal Keeper lines up for a goal kick. Fans with outstretched shaking hands at him screaming “OOOOHHHHHHH” Goal keeper kicks it and fans scream “PUTOOOOOO!!!!!” -Mexican fans taunting Argentina goal keeper Sergio Romero

Good lord you had to see this place. Soccer City is probably the most magnificent stadium ever built on the planet. Our Category 2 seats were incredible and the only thing blocking our view was the corner flag, which trust me was a good thing. Seriously made it feel like I was on the pitch the entire game. We were so close to the pitch that you could actually see Lionel Messi’s face of disbelief every time he got slammed into the turf. Dude don’t just stand there the game is still going on if you haven’t noticed. The atmosphere was absolutely incredible with 94,000 fans from arguably the most insane and hooligan infested soccer nations on the planet in one building. Seriously get ready. With toilet paper being thrown by Argentine fans at the Mexican goalie who couldn’t like what was going on in the stadium?

The fans were yelling non-stop. And with Carlos Tevez’s offside goal in the 17th minute, things got a bit out of control, especially when the jumbo screens showed that he was offside by about 4 meters. You thought the Mexican players on the field were pissed off? There was seriously about to be riots in the stands as whoever decided putting a Mexican fan section next to the Argentine fan section was about to have blood on his hands. It was party time Buenos Aires style when Gonzalo Higuiain scored one. And did you happen to check out Carlos Tevez’s rocket shot from 25 meters out? One of the goals of the tournament. Mexico got one goal, but that couldn’t stop the Argentina fans from dancing and singing. It also couldn’t stop Diego Maradonna from walking around the sidelines high fiving his players while wearing his super cheap Italian suit. Come on bro, you are the greatest footballer of all time the most you can do is wear a suit that costs more than 50 dollars. Definitely a game I’ll remember for a long time.

Round of 16: Paraguay Pen’ 4 –2 Pen’ Japan, Pretoria, Loftus Versfeld Stadium, 29 June 2010

“Sorry man. I really feel sorry for you guys, I really thought Japan was going to win that game. Enjoy the rest of your time here in South Africa and safe travels back to Japan.” -Afrikaner man patting me on the shoulder and offering me condolences after Japan’s loss to Paraguay on penalties. Do I even need to explain what is wrong with this?

And yes if you didn’t notice this was my 5th game in 6 days in 4 different cities. Was intense, but you know what, I’d do it again.

Labeled as one of the most unappetizing Round of 16 matches in the history of the World Cup, it definitely lived up to its billing. It was almost as boring as the Italy – New Zealand game. Okay I take that back, but damn it was boring son! The crowd (except for a bunch of crazy and insanely awesome Japanese fans who were awesomely insane) was pretty dull. Not a lot of energy throughout the stadium. So my only saving grace was to hope for the worst thing for the players, best thing for the fans…. SHOOTOUT!!!! When it was 0-0 at the end of regulation I stopped rooting for Japan and just hoped that no one scored. Every time Paraguay missed a shot I screamed in delight, and every time Japan missed a shot I sighed with relief prompting people around me to ask “Who the hell are you cheering for?” Cheering for a shootout that’s what, and guess what? It happened. To my dismay the Japanese missed 2 and Paraguay made all their penalty shots, which made me think, maybe a shootout wasn’t what I should have been hoping for. But you know what? It was still sweet.

3rd Place: Germany 3 – 2 Uruguay, Port Elizabeth, Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium, 10 July 2010

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” -The sound throughout the stadium every time Uruguayan forward Luis Suarez (the D-bag handball dude that stole glory from all of Africa, and spoiled my World Cup pick to win it) touched the ball.

The Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium is magnificent. It looks like a lotus and really projects your from the elements. It was raining during the game and you stayed dry for the most part due to it’s round design. It’s pretty sweet.

This was it. My last World Cup game. It was an incredible experience and I’m glad this one didn’t disappoint. Easily one of the games of the tournament. It was fast paced with crunching tackles and swift counterattacks and decent set pieces that saw the Germans go out in front only to see the Uruguayans equalize on a killer counterattack of their own. Went back and forth and there were plenty of chances and shots on target that saw the goalkeepers called into action early and often. Diego Forlan had one of the goals of the tournament with a really cheeky bicycle style kick that saw the German defense seriously just standing there saying to themselves “Holy crap did you see that? That was kinda awesome!” But it wasn’t enough as the Germans minus 3 of their star players put the hurt on fools to make it 3 – 2 at the end of regulation. Very exciting game.

Man that was long. But there you have it. All the games I attended, and plenty of stories and memories for a lifetime.

Prologue to Blog 29.

“Roughly three feet long, the vuvuzela sounds like the elephant trunk it resembles when blown solo. But when blown en masse, as is custom wherever soccer is played in South Africa, it's like a deafening swarm of locusts -- louder than a rock concert, according to one study, but shy of the human threshold for pain.” The Washington Post (which is so much better than the New York Times when it comes to sports coverage, breaking coverage, relevant matters…..well actually everything, it’s just straight up better in pretty much every department, but the times is still pretty good) states in a newly released article covering the dominance of the vuvuzela over sport, culture, sports culture, and culture sport.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/05/AR2010060503926.html

When you are watching the world cup games and you hear something that makes you ask, “What the hell is that noise?” then bam you are currently hearing the vuvuzelas in action.

Now on to blog 29.

Yes feel it baby it’s here! The McDonald’s countdown clock located in every McDonald’s in South Africa is currently at 6 days, 17 hours, and 43 seconds….42 seconds…. 41 seconds…. As I write this. The fever has gripped the nation and symptoms may include wearing bootleg knock off yellow and green Bafana Bafana (South African National Team name, literal translation in Zulu: Boys Boys) jerseys, blowing horns, organized dances in the streets, spontaneously breaking out into song and dance and drumming circles, crossing the road without looking, screaming “Ayoba” and screaming nonsense for no reason in general, screaming “Welcome to South Africa” to every single foreigner that they see, pulling their eyes and stretching them out after seeing an Asian person (not cool man), and hawking at every person that is deemed to be a foreigner and harass them into buying some bad cheaply made stuff, and justifying the price they are selling it at, because it’s African. Currently there is no cure for this fever. Rumor has it the cure will be found sometime after the 11th of July 2010. Taking in all the sights, all the sounds that the World Cup has brought as I walk around some of the host cities, I caught the fever too, and bought a knock off Bafana Bafana jersey that I haggled down from R300 to R120, not realizing that I already own one. Hey bad cheaply made stuff is for sale you didn’t hear? This place is so feverish from the World Cup that local radio stations even gives you minute to minute updates that goes something like this, “You just heard the song ‘Telephone’ by Lady Gaga and Beyonce, and currently we are getting news that the Danish national team has landed in OR Tambo International Airport. Denmark will have their base camp set up in Knynsa on the coast along the South Africa’s beautiful Garden route. Make sure you welcome the Danish with open arms. Best of luck to you Denmark and hope you enjoy your stay here in South Africa.” I wonder how many other teams are coming in soon but I can’t think because of that freaking noise!

Dude what is that sound? You know that sound that is currently making us both go deaf leaving us in a state in which hearing can no longer be depended on in gaining a sense of direction. No, Not that crazy buzzing horn noise you call the vuvuzela, I’m immune to that sound with people in my village blowing the horn every day, all day, regardless if there is an actual soccer game being played. Imagine this situation, there is no soccer game being played. Nothing even remotely close to soccer is happening, I mean not even news of another player having sex with another teammate’s girlfriend causing that teammate to quit the national team, while the person who committed the man law infraction (clearly Rule #82 states, do not have sex with a teammates partner that may lead to that player quitting the national team and throwing the national team into disarray. You are a horny jerk but that does not mean you are allowed to jeopardize the nation’s chances for glory.) himself has 2 children (hah, those crazy Englishmen) is being broadcasted. Nothing, just a quiet day, and then BUUUHHH (I really cannot capture the sound of it in onomatopoeia form, you really do have to hear its noise of terror for yourself) to the pitch of B-flat comes out of nowhere and you panic because you swear a swarm of bees or elephant is coming at you. But it’s not a swarm of bees it’s the freaking vuvuzela! Okay thanks sir we get it your blatantly obnoxious, blow your horn for another 3 hours straight as a reward. Great, just great. Don’t imagine a situation in which there is an actual soccer game being played, your head might explode. As the days creep closer and closer the vuvuzela can be heard with much more frequency with people throughout my township and throughout the cities having vuvuzela battles to see who can blow theirs the loudest. Fun stuff…..

No, not the crazy buzzing horn sound that is probably making you go deaf, not me, but a different sound. What is it? Oh wait I can hear it….. OLE OLEEEEEE OLE OLE OLE OLE OLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Ahhhhh the Argentines have arrived in Pretoria! The Argentine national team has set up base camp in the South African capital and Argentine fans donning the blue and white have taken over the city in a fashion South Africans have never experienced before. Yeah I can’t understand what they’re singing or saying either despite the fact that I studied the language for 3 years in high school. I guess the movie “The 40 year Old Virgin” was on to something in that if you don’t use it you lose it, at least when it comes to language.

An actual conversation between an Argentine man and me

Guy: Hola Como estas? (Hello, how are you in Spanish, at least I think) Me: Je vais tres bien (I’m very well, in French), wait I mean, Ngikhona (I’m fine, in zulu) wait…..Yo soy bien? Guy: Jajajajaja. Me llamo Diego, Como te llamas? (hahaha, my name is Diego, what is your name?, in Spanish, at least I think) Me: Me llamo Alex, uhhh so your name is Diego like Diego Maradonna? (national team coach of Argentina, arguably the greatest soccer player to ever live, and living legend) Diego: Si. (yes in Spanish, at least I think) Me: So, uhhh, do you think Diego Maradonna, umm ah man my Spanish sucks, ummm Diego Maradonna es loco en la cabeza? (Something Spanish about Maradonna being crazy or something. How crazy is crazy? Let’s just say after Argentina barely qualified for the World Cup after a late goal in their last qualifying game, Maradonna poked his head out of the window of the bus opened his mouth and put his hand up to it and made a gesture indicating that the media who attended the match should suck his C%$# for doubting him as coach and then gave them the finger as the bus drove off. Not only did he not apologize [which is badass], he later then promised the fans that if Argentina won the World Cup he would run naked in the streets of Buenos Aires.) Diego: (something super crazy Spanish that I have no hope in ever understanding even if I did have a full grasp of the Spanish language. From what I gathered, I think he was trying to say, yeah he’s crazy but that’s why he’s awesome! I would agree with this statement if that indeed was what he was trying to say.) Me: uhhhhhhh, lo siento, No hablo Espanol. (Sorry I don’t speak Spanish in Spanish, at least I think) Do you want to see who can scream “Goooooaaal” the longest? (That last bit actually did not happen.)

He then proceeded to end the conversation by dancing with every person on the street that could be seen, including 230 pound gogos/grandmas. Did I say including? I meant especially. No doubt the party is on in the “City of Champions” (did Pretoria label themselves as that for no reason or is there a reason behind this, because there are signs everywhere that say “Welcome to the City of Champions”. Because let’s face it, that’s a bit presumptuous.)

Soon after I was approached by 2 blonde girls wearing orange attire.

G: (Something crazy language I do not understand at all) Me: Umm.. Sorry I don’t understand what you are saying. G: Oh sorry! we’re from Holland. I see you’re not from there. Me: (The Netherlands eh? Shouldn’t you be riding a bicycle or something? And why in the world would you think I was from….. Ohhhh because I’m wearing an orange [national team color of the Netherlands] shirt. Never mind that it says “BeerLao” [the official beer of the country Laos] on it.) Ohhh, no sorry I’m not from there, but I think you have one of the best chances to win. You have a really dynamic team it looks like. G: We are so excited, I’m pretty sure we’ll do really well, but the injury to Arjen Robben kinds of scares us, where are you from then? Me: (Whoa these ladies are legit fans.) I’m from Washington D.C. (Small talk and generalized conversations including what we were doing in South Africa, where, and how long we were staying ensued. We soon parted ways and wished each other luck because apparently by their statements, the U.S. national team was going to need it.)

The next day when I was eating breakfast at a backpackers in Pretoria I met a “China” (as we Asians are

constantly referred to as in South Africa) who was from Japan so technically he is not a China he is a Japan.

Me: Yeah I live here in South Africa, work for an organization called the Peace Corps from the U.S. I work in a village doing HIV/AIDS education outreach. Japan: Ahhhh wooooow. That’s great. I’m from Japan. I’m a professional photographer and work for a German based magazine in Tokyo. I’m here to take pictures of the world cup games and teams. Me: Wow, how many games are you going to? Japan: At least 15 including the semi-finals in Cape Town and the final game in Johannesburg. Me: Holy $h!t. Do you have to pay for everything yourself or do you get paid? Japan: I only have to pay for my own food and camera equipment. Everything else is already paid for including access to teams, games, accommodation, and transportation. Me: (Uhhhhh, Holy #@#$!!!! Why the hell did I not become a professional photographer?) (Small talk and generalized conversations including how much his camera equipment cost [$20,000], his favorite event he ever covered [2005 Champions League semi-final, Arsenal v Juventus], what it was like during the Confederations Cup last year, Japan not being so strong this year, and expectations of the World Cup this year. As I was checking out of the backpackers he bowed his head and with both hands gave me his business card and said if I ever wanted photos just to ask him. And you know what I just might.)

The atmosphere in South Africa is absolutely electric and this place is World Cupped out right from the get go. When fans step out of OR Tambo International Airport and begin their drive to Johannesburg the highway is lined with thousands of the 32 teams that are participating in the World Cup. For nearly 5km these flags continue to fans that seemingly say to fans all over the world, “The World Cup? Trust me, it’s on”. In the cities there are banners that range from “Welcome to South Africa” to more individualized welcome banners “Welcome England” or as above “Welcome to the City of Champions”. Those that claim that South Africa is not ready for the World Cup should see it for themselves.

It seems just as the 1995 Rugby World Cup brought much to South Africa, it seems the 2010 FIFA World Cup will bring much to South Africa and further the country’s development (at least in some respects, next post will deal with issues surrounding the world cup) and not just economically but perhaps socially and culturally as well. In the lead up to the games I have had many conversations with fans from all over the world and got to hear stories of patriotism, triumph, beauty, learning, and adventure. I can only imagine how many South Africans are getting to interact, talk, and mingle with people from different nations and share their culture with them. The World Cup is not just about soccer; it’s not just about sport. The World Cup is also a festival of culture where people can not only enjoy the beautiful game but also learn about each other. World Cup fans all over the globe are coming together over a simple common bond, proving that the culture and language of sport is universal and there are few things in this world that can bring people together like it can.

I feel both honored and privileged to be able to be here for such a historical moment, Africa’s first ever World Cup. This is an event that many believed would never be held on African soil. As one of the principals of my school put it, “Sibusiso (my South African name), I cannot even begin to tell you how much the World Cup being here means to this country. To be able to go from having no rights, no freedom, no education, no opportunities, much less watching soccer game, to holding such a historical event that many thought we would not see in our lifetime, it means so much. Now people can see how we have progressed from the hopelessness to triumph.”

From poverty/disease/lack of development to corruption and Apartheid, no one ever thought that this could ever be a reality. But the people here in South Africa, whites, blacks, Asians alike take to the streets proudly wearing the green and yellow to sing, dance, blow vuvuzelas, and to make the dream a reality. The World’s game has come to them and as thousands of people flock to South Africa from all over the world it seems South Africans are saying, “We still have a long way to go, but look how far we’ve come.” Indeed, South Africa, the world is looking.

Prologue to Blog 28

“Fu#k FIFA, and fu#k the World Cup.” – A fellow Peace Corps Volunteer On to Blog 28 From the bad things to the good things, everything has some sort of controversy and trust me; Africa’s first World Cup held in South Africa has plenty of it. I wanted to first state that I am a firm believer in the principles of unity and the sharing of ideas and cultures that sport is capable of doing. I am also a firm believer in South Africa’s readiness to host a successful tournament. Being here for the past year and a half and being able to see the strides that have been taken I feel South Africa has proven itself worthy and capable. The people of South Africa could not be more proud of hosting this event and the people believe they are worthy as well, at least for the most part.

But what of people not from South Africa? What do many people think? One mustn’t look far to see people’s views. Think back to African Cup of Nations tournament back in January of 2010 held in Angola when the Togolese National team’s bus got caught in crossfire between revolutionaries and government forces resulting in several deaths. People from around the world exclaimed, “Oh my god look at Africa, how could anyone have thought that having the world cup there was a good idea. We are all going to die if we go.” Okay not everyone said things like that but enough people for me to think “do some of you even realize that there are different countries in Africa and that South Africa is totally different from Angola and revolutionary like violence has not happened in South Africa for over a decade and a half and has one of the most stable democracies in the world. Do you even know what you’re talking about?” Fast forward to Sunday’s stampede. North Korea and Nigeria recently played a friendly match that resulted in a 3 – 1 victory for Nigeria in Tembisa, South Africa. But the real story was what happened outside of the stadiums where there was a stampede that resulted in 15 people having to be hospitalized. I know what you’re thinking. Well that was just a few days ago, in the host country and was a fairly serious situation. Fair point but this was a fairly isolated incident. No serious stampedes have happened in South Africa for nearly a decade and it seems the logistics of letting people in caused the situation. So before you go and start screaming “Oh there goes Africa again” think of some situations where this might happen elsewhere such as a black Friday shopping where several people die each year or when Apple announces the release of a new Iphone. Do people go screaming, “Oh my god, America, OH MY GOD!” Probably some but most people would say well that was an isolated incident. Exactly. When Soccer riots happen in Mexico people don’t go screaming, “Oh North America has dun lost its marbles again.” No most people would say, that was an isolated incident and remind people that Mexico and the USA are two totally different countries. Do you have a right to be concerned? Of course, I am a bit as well, but all I’m saying is before you purposefully search the news for negative press about South Africa so you can convince yourself that the end of the world is coming because Africa is holding a World Cup don’t swear every small thing that happens is all bad and is a sign that South Africa can’t handle it, because trust me, crazy things happen in each country.

There is one group of people that I was somewhat surprised to have an ultra-apocalyptic view of the World Cup, Fellow Peace Corps Volunteers trying to convince people that the end of the free world has arrived because no one will be able to move and all government agencies will stop functioning and people will be dying in the street as a result. Do they have a point? Maybe, but once again don’t you think perhaps you’re exaggerating the situation a bit? An interesting statement was made by a friend of mine and she told me, “There’s not enough electricity and power being produced in the country to sustain the power that will be necessary to keep blackouts from happening in the host cities so they plan on siphoning off electricity from the rural areas to conserve electricity for the major cities and as result people in rural areas will starve to death!” I thought this was absolutely outrageous until one week I noticed that the power in my house went out; in fact the entire village’s power went out, every day, at the same time, the time? 6pm sharp, in fact on day 4 I looked at my host brother counted down the minutes to 6pm and bam lights go out long enough for me to miss ESPNSoccerNetPressPass (Soccer talk show at 7pm) but short enough for the electricity to come back on right in time for Generations (South Africa’s most popular soap opera at 8pm, South Africans old and young alike watch it religiously. It’s insane.) Yeah, convenient. This was happening one month before the World Cup and got me thinking, am I brushing aside some of my colleague’s statements and concerns a little too quickly because I’m that crazy of a sports fan? The blackouts stopped a week later and never happened again but I had to think about it, although she was exaggerating the consequences to an absurd degree, did she have a point? Are the people in the rural areas getting the shaft and not really benefitting from the World Cup and is all the benefit being isolated to the major urban areas? Or another friend’s view, is the World Cup actually damaging the country by focusing more on urban development, when rural development should be a priority? Let’s take a look.

South Africa has a long history of economic disparities. It is a known fact that South Africa has one of the highest Gini coefficients (economic measure of economic disparity) in the world. One mustn’t look too far to see the disparities of South Africa. When walking around a major South African city, it will remind you of a place you’ve been before. Durban reminds me of San Diego, downtown Cape Town reminds me of New York City, parts of Johannesburg remind me of Washington D.C., Pretoria reminds me of Arlington, VA. So in a sense South African cities remind me of America. Fully developed, large malls, highways, a wealth of infrastructure, you name it they got it, except for decent Vietnamese food. But then go just a few hours outside of the cities and what is there? Shacks, dirt roads, informal settlements, townships in which a house of for a family of 4 has 14 people living in it. In the villages? Well let’s just say you’d be lucky if you even had a clinic that could take care of the sick and the dying. You’d also be lucky if your child’s class had less than 60 students in it. You’d be extremely lucky if you have continuous access to water, which we did not until recently. It got so bad one time, I was literally spooning water out of a container trying to get each ounce of water that was left I was so thirsty. Come on you’ve seen those Susan Sarandon commercials while she’s holding the starving baby while claiming that 80 cents a day can give this child a decent education, I think you understand what I’m trying to get at. So when tourists come to see South Africa most of them stay in the cities and if that’s all they see then perhaps they’ll think, “Wow this country is so developed and people are never really that hungry because there are so many restaurants to go to.” All of this while some people in the rural areas suffer from hunger in the face of indifference, not because people don’t care, but people just don’t know. So the government has a set amount of money to begin development projects in different areas. The argument is because of the World Cup the government must further develop the cities which by comparison to the rural areas is beyond extremely developed. “Hmmm we will have to expand the highway since there will be more cars during the World Cup but only have limited funds. Ah sorry Siphiwe, looks like your village is going to have to wait until next year to get a new school in which your class doesn’t have 73 students in it, because we need to money to put up flags all along the MR3 highway to welcome the tourists coming in from the airport.” So as you see the argument brings up a valid point. One could also make the point that the money that the country will receive from tourism will benefit the economy of South Africa, increasing the tourism industry even further and therefore bringing more income into the country so the investment in the World Cup will bring greater economic progress to the country in the long run. Very true, but who would that benefit? Once again businesses in big cities, or tourists areas. So there is no guarantee that the extremely impoverished rural areas will see a dime of that money. It is my hope that large sales tax revenue that the country will generate will go into developing rural areas.

But what if it doesn’t? And the money stays in the urban areas? This would mean that all the jobs are in the cities and not rural areas. Siphiwe ends up being a stellar student but wants to stay in the village. But she needs to work, but where are the jobs? In the cities, so she would be forced to leave. Imagine that! A brain drain within a country itself! Crazy no? During the building of the World Cup stadiums there was a mass exodus from the villages to the cities of people working for work, primarily in construction projects such as the building of the World Cup stadiums. But those stadiums are done and now the jobs have dried up. I wouldn’t really call this a long-term solution. And an economic based on remittances is never the most stable one.

With increased population of people those people need to stay somewhere correct? That’s where you see the large increase of informal houses and settlements and shanty towns close to the cities. In Cape Town one judge declared a process of beautification so that the city would look nicer for the World Cup and issued a court order to remove people from those settlements and relocate them somewhere else. Beijing 2008 anyone? Problem was, relocate them where? The court order was never fully carried out because the executive branch would not enforce the ruling. Nelspruit, my secondary shopping town, and another host city of the FIFA World Cup had some controversy as well. As you know the new Mbombela stadium is a masterpiece and is a state of the art facility. But before that the planners were looking for a place to put it and were having some trouble. So several years ago they struck a deal with a local municipality and claimed they would be paid for their land and have a new school built, (current school was being used to house construction workers working on the stadium). It wasn’t until several years after the agreement was struck that the promises were fulfilled. So for a few years an entire town was removed from its lands without compensation. It wasn’t until recently that compensation had been fulfilled recently and the new school built, which itself is a state of the art facility.

With an increase of people moving to the large cities and other major population centers there will be some things that go down, namely house music, but also sex. As the World Cup creeps closer and closer human trafficking becomes an issue. Just 2 weeks ago a man was arrested because police discovered some 27 Thai women working as prostitutes in Johannesburg and he was planning to have them work during the World Cup. His only charge? Running a brothel, not human trafficking (they were traced back to a port in Durban and they were taken into the country illegally from there.)

So as you can see there are some issues indeed surrounding the tournament. I believe in the World Cup and I try my best to focus on the positives in which I do believe for the most part outweigh the negatives, but still one must think critically about all issues when it comes to anything. And when I think about some of the issues that I’ve presented here, I can only wish that things were done a differently. Don’t you think so?

Prologue to Blog 27

“There is no way the World Cup trophy is leaving South Africa. Remember back in 1995 when Nelson Mandela attended the first match and South Africa won the Rugby World Cup? Remember back when we hosted the African Cup of Nations, Mandela was there and guess what? We won! Now Mandela will come to the opening match again. I swear to you he brings God on our side, South Africa will win the World Cup!” – One of the principals at one of the schools I work with.

On to Blog 27

Geeze all this talk about what the historical significance of the World Cup, the economic disparities of the World Cup, the culture, the excitement, but no talk about the sport itself? Come on people we’re still talking about soccer here! I guess talking about the greatness of sports is a bit of a moot point if you didn’t at least talk about it a little bit. Well here we go. It’s impossible to make accurate predictions. Things in sports can change on a whim, BAM just like that, so who’s got that fire? Who’s got that drive? Who’s got that chip on their shoulder and make those statements of “Oh man no one believed in us but we believed in ourselves and we fought through and persevered and we ate so much protein after our works out because no one believed in us but we believed in ourselves and we fought through and persevered while eating a lot of protein after our work outs, WOOO YEAH!!!PROTEIN!!!” Okay, settle down there roid rage. Try not to pull a maradonna and get caught doing a line of coke in the locker room after one of the games okay? Diego Maradonana if you are reading this, just know that I’m joking, and why are you reading my blog don’t you have a team to coach? Here comes a breakdown of every group of the World Cup my predictions of who will win and how each team can do. I’m just hoping I won’t have a repeat of last time in which I was watching so much soccer when someone bumped into me on the street I flailed my arms in the air, fell down, and claimed there was a penalty.

Group A – South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France

Ah here they are, Bafana Bafana against the rest of these teams. Unlike the quote at the top of the page, many people are making quotes such as this, “South Africa will not even make it out of the group stages. They will be lucky if they even win one match.” Damn son, and you were born and raised in this country! So where do I put South Africa on the “no one believes in us but we can succeed because we believe in ourselves no matter what anyone else thinks” scale? Pretty high, and you know what that is actually a great barometer for success. Head coach Carlos Parreira claims this is one of the best groups he has ever worked with. Hearing that from a World Cup winning coach ain’t a bad thing. Go Bafana Go!

Guess who’s doing well in the warm up matches, Mexico. This is a team that only brought 5 midfielders to the tournament, but you know what they have been kicking people’s ass so apparently they are doing something right.

Uruguay has a dude named Diego Forlan. He is a monster. Seriously he scores every time he touches the ball, it’s almost unfair. But this is team game bro and with that creaky midfield of yours getting no passes to you, it seems you won’t be touching the ball often.

A strong storm of conceitedness just entered the country. Ah the French. Les Bleus have arrived. You have no idea how badly I would love to just go around pointing at my hand and head butting every French person I saw. But hey that would be just rude. This is a team that barely qualified for the tournament and quite frankly sucked so bad that a chicken with its head cut off could coach better than Raymond Domenech. This team does not even qualify for the “no one believes in us but we can succeed because we believe in ourselves no matter what anyone else thinks” scale. Want to know why? The second part of the statement needs to be true as well as the first part.

Mexico and South Africa advance, Hasta Uruguay, Au revoir Frenchies

Group B – Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece

Ah those crazy Argentines. And indeed they are crazy. Let’s be honest during the qualifying campaign they were terrible. But with the forward line they have (Lionel Messi, Carlos Tevez, Diego Milito, Ganzalo Huiguian, Sergio Aguero) how could they not kill everyone even if their coach is a whack job?

Nigeria a side that is just not very creative, not because they’re African, but they just are not a creative side and the loss of John Obi Mikel does not help them out one bit.

South Korea has the ability to surprise some people it looks like. They have the skilled and steady Ji Sung Park amongst another world class talents. Watch out for the Koreans in this one. Greece, the 2004 European champions much like their home country, have a lot of problems to contend with. Argentina and South Korea advance, Greece and Nigeria are eliminated

Group C – England, USA, Slovenia, Algeria

England v USA a match that I will be attending is going to be crazy. Crazier than Lady Gaga? Yeah probably crazier than Lady Gaga. The English are a strong side, and probably have what it takes to win it. Many people have them tipped as favorites and that bodes problems sometimes when using the “no one believes in us but we can succeed because we believe in ourselves no matter what anyone else thinks” scale and right now they are on the lower end of it. But on sheer weakness of the group they should do fairly well.

USA USA USA!!! This is an interesting team because often times the team itself is quick to exclaim “no on believes in us but we can succeed because we believe in ourselves no matter what anyone else thinks”. See now they say this often, but does anyone actually think that? No it seems that plenty of people in the USA see this as a fairly decent squad. So when it comes to the scale they are not that high on it which might bode problems in the later rounds.

I tried to find Slovenia on a map but failed, am I retarded?

Algeria? Should have been Egypt…. Jerks. Let’s go fight some b!t&h$ and riot somewhere.

England and USA advance

Group D – Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana

The German supporters came to South Africa en masse! Wait oh you were already here? Oh so you were already travelling for 3 months around the country. I see. Well uhhh Go Deutschland. Jeeze Germans travel faster and farther than the swine flu man. Oh and I guess even without Michael Ballack they still have one of the most balanced sides.

Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi. I better hear that at least twice during the game between them and Serbia. Because I won’t be hearing it during the later rounds that’s for sure.

Serbia, I hear it’s cold there and that Nemanja Vidic is out for blood. Well he’s Serbian what did you expect? Pretty decent squad but they don’t really believe it when they tell themselves “no one believes in us but we can succeed because we believe in ourselves no matter what anyone else thinks” no, not one bit you overconfident people you.

I will be supporting the blackstars when I attend their game against Serbia. (How did I get 2 Serbia games, not by choice, trust me.) They got that “holy crap we’re playing a World Cup on African soil” look in their eye. Never mind that Michael Essien is out, they gonna show some people that they are true stars.

Germany and Ghana advance

Group E – Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon

The Dutch, first European settlers of South Africa… At least I think that’s true. No team possesses a more dynamic team than the Dutch, except for maybe Argentina and maybe Spain. They’re pretty exciting to watch, wait Arjen Robben is injured? Well that’s not good, but things should be alright.

Bentdner I really like you as a player but come on man you can’t just pull your pants down outside of a club and wag your wang around, it’s just… unprofessional. But I guess that’s what the Danish do.

I really like Japan, I think they can surprise some people, with their statements of being able to make the final four while no one believes them, it solidifies them at the top of the “no one believes in us but we can succeed because we believe in ourselves no matter what anyone else thinks” scale.

Too bad Cameroon got that “holy crap we’re playing a World Cup on African soil” look in their eye. And in this case, it trumps the scale.

Netherlands and Cameroon advance

Group F – Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia

The Azzuri are a squad that everyone doubts. Pretty high on the we’re the only ones that believe in ourselves and no one else does scale. But you know what, Italian fans have a way of stopping the doubt when the team starts winning and then claim they always supported them. Weather pretty fair up there huh? Lucky they are in a weak group, because without Cassano and Pirlo they are as creative as a person that is really uncreative.

Paraguay crushed fools in the qualifiers. They are pretty good. Roque Santa Cruz has a chip on his shoulder so big that you could use it as currency in the Bellagio.

New Zealand…. better stick to rugby

Slovakia? How did they get here?

Italy and Paraguay Advance

Group G – Brazil, Portugal, Cote d’Ivoire, North Korea

The Brazilians are out to avenge their lack luster World Cup Campaign in 2006 when, let’s face it, sucked. But with Kaka leading the line anything is possible.

Who is this Portuguese dude with hair gel and keeps falling down every time someone even breathes on him.

Oh that’s Cristiano Ronaldo? Overrated. Portugal struggled in their qualifying campaign and will struggle in the group of death.

The Ivory Coast was dealt a huge injury blow with the likes of Didier Drogba being out indefinitely. But hey the rest of their team isn’t bad, and definitely have that “holy crap we’re playing a World Cup on African soil” look to them so trust me they got this.

Now this is a crazy one. North Korea! They are so secretive I don't even know what a North Korean looks like. You know those black and white movies you see of North Korea? Well it's not the film, I hear they are so evil they actually don't have any color.

Brazil and Cote d’Ivoire advance

Group H – Spain, Switzerland, Chile, Honduras

Spain is Spain and trust me that’s a good thing. They have one of the most fluid sq

Now - Now adv.adv.

A popular South African phrase indicating that the time to do something is very soon, or sometimes it is actually time to do it.Something that is said often times to simply appease someone that is impatient or has legitimately been waiting for action to happen for a long time but has been promised that action will be taken now now several times.

Ex 1. It’s time to go now now. (As in right now, it literally is time to go.) Ex 2. We will do the project that we were supposed to do last week now now. (Just like you said last week the project would be done now now).

So as you see often times even if you say now now, it does not mean now now.

So it’s been awhile since the last time I posted (not including the posts that were included with this post). It’s not because I’ve been too busy. Rather I’ve been too lazy. I mean in between all my time sitting down watching TV and staring at my ceiling, I just cannot find the time to update my blog okay? Those precious minutes can be used by staring at the point in which the ceiling and wall actually meet. Seems the builders didn’t do a really good job of straightening that out, doesn’t even connect that well….

But that’s not to say that nothing has been going on. Let me lay it out for you in just a few seconds as these projects will be explained individually in future blog posts that shall be posted soon meaning the future is soon soon.

5 projects that may interest only me, that may or may not be explained in greater detail in future posts

The garden project in which we use compost, manure, and other fertilizers in deep circles and trenches is not going so well. Let’s just say the water died. Nothing like shelling out some of your own money to buy seeds for the organization and the workers tending to the garden with great care just to see all your small plant seedlings die after 3 weeks because the water goes ka put. Are we having fun yet?

The HIV education initiative trudges along. Lesson plans and curriculums have been developed and are slowly becoming the standard of HIV/AIDS education in the area. And our organization has partnered with another HIV/AIDS/STI education team to increase our effectiveness and to be able to reach out to more people. It has hit a minor road block. You would be surprised to see how difficult it is to get the education commissioner of the area to give us permission and allow us to be able to teach and tell school students to put rubber things on their twalalas and ding ding dongs is when engaging in the intercourse. No education in schools till this battle is resolved in our favor. But education outside of schools has gone very well, especially with the youth soccer teams especially with the promise of free World Cup tickets at stake.

Breakthrough on the research front as the Mpumalanga (province that I live in) Department of Health has acknowledged my existence! After submitting my initial research proposal (the proposal would analyze HIV/AIDS knowledge, perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors amongst school youth in my area. I am trying to create official publishable data that can help this are develop a stronger and more specific regional strategy to combating HIV/AIDS rather than a general strategy based on information from Cape Town, which is nowhere close to us and not at all similar to this area.) 5 months ago and hounding them up until this time, I received an email that said something along the lines of “Oh wow, we did not realize how long ago you submitted this, seems intriguing enough, but we think you need to rewrite the proposal in a better format”. They even assigned a person to handle my case. So better format it shall be written in.

My project to reform the entire South African education system as we know it by instituting a system of learner feedback that curriculum specialists could use to help fine tune the learning curriculums based on direct input from the students has been put on the backburner. Ambitious much? Yeah was time to pull my head out of my ass. There were a lot of things on my plate, and unfortunately I was lost as to how to proceed with this project and it itself got lost. But don’t worry, I got some PHD’s on it. And they perhaps can help me carry this through.

Not sure what to say on the fundraising front. It could go either way at this point really. We had a very good meeting with the U.S. embassy after submitting a $10,000 grant proposal to start an income generating chicken coop project. What do I know about chickens? Very little but just like when John McCain was asked about his very little knowledge of the economy, I can say myself, “Don’t worry, I have advisors and I know a guy that know something about chickens.” They seemed pleased with the project proposal, the site, and the dedication shown by the workers. So in time we shall see.

We also applied for a 1.2 million rand grant (for all sorts of crazy $h*t) awhile ago which was a bit of a stretch to say the least. But we’ve been hearing from different organizations about how their proposals have been rejected. And surprise surprise, ours has not been rejected yet. This could mean two things: our rejection letter got lost in the mail somewhere (you know that South African mail system), or we actually survived to make it into round 2. Or it could be something totally different I have no idea, but I’m thinking the former rather than the latter is probably more the likely scenario.

We have full on nursing staff, but no equipment? Well let’s work on getting you some! Trying to acquire medical supplies is no easy endeavor when the local clinic and hospitals themselves are a bit undersupplied, but you know what we can give it a go.

It may seem lame, because believe me it is, but really and truly, Together Everyone Achieves More. Helping different organizations that often times are trying to do the same thing work in TEAMs is not as hard as you think. Linking organizations together to increase the efficiency and efficacy of each by forming partnerships just makes everyone’s life easier and makes sure that services are just more easily accessible. And that’s what it should be like. Even if some people that have never met you before refer to you as China or Mlungu (Sir you are a grown man, and a government official for Christ’s sake, what are you doing using that language, and yes I understand everything you are saying about me.)

An Aboriginal man in Western Australia named Darren once told me, “It is hard to see such suffering sometimes and often times people become very disheartened with the insurmountable challenges they encounter and are unable to act upon it. But every time there is a chance to become disheartened by something, there is an opportunity to be emboldened by it.” Indeed you are right Darren, there is too much at stake to be jaded. I hope I can make some breakthroughs because when it comes to making things happen and perhaps making a difference, the time is Now Now.

Imagine you are in an interview. Maybe doing an interview for a job. Maybe for a job that places you in a different country doing some sort of international health work. Maybe a job that is part of the U.S. government bureaucracy. Maybe that job has a title in which the first word is “Peace” and maybe that job title’s last word is not “Corps”. Whatever the title, job, or location, let’s just say there were some strange if not downright awkward and funny questions being asked.

Peace Corps Interview during the application process

Interviewer: So why did you decide to apply for Peace Corps Me: [Insert answer about how I thought the prospect of doing international health work really excited me since that was my focus in college and that the Peace Corp’s purpose of development really appealed to me]. Interviewer: Explain to me what your experience was like working at this NGO you were at, um, Phonathon. Me: Oh that was not an NGO. That was a job in which I was a telemarketer and begged University Alumni for money. If I got enough people to donate money to the school they would consider giving me a bonus. Interviewer: I see. So what do you like to do when you are alone? As in you are by yourself and no one is around? Me: (what?) I do a lot of reading. Interviewer: (scribbles stuff) go on. Me: ummm…. I often times like to go on walks. Interviewer: (scribbles stuff) tell me more, what else do you like to do when alone? Me: I like to contemplate existence while listening to house music. So when I come across an enlightening thought it’s always drowned out by the chants of “Sex and Drugs and House!!!”

Peace Corps interview during permaculture gardening training by the official Peace Corps documentarian with the cameras rolling.

Interviewer: How old are you? Me: I’m 23 Interviewer: How does it feel to be 23 and going bald? Me: (Hey how does it feel to be your age and be a dick?) I guess it can’t be avoided so oh well. Interviewer: How do you plan on using the skills you have learned here to benefit your community? Me: [Insert answer about how being able to improve soil strength and maximize growing area that will allow many people, especially those with low incomes, to be able to grow nutritious vegetables in what was once considered poor soil therefore increasing their food security while saving money and thus becoming self-sustaining and self-reliant.] Interviewer: Wow that’s great, really good stuff….. So what’s it like being Asian? You know like being an Asian Peace Corps Volunteer? Me: (Oh so this is why you pulled me aside.) [Insert answer about what it’s like being an Asian Peace Corps Volunteer and that it is not that different from being a white volunteer or any other volunteer of different race, in that you have a set of stereotypes that people believe when they see you but with time you can dispel some of those things with open and honest dialogue.] Interviewer: (As she is packing up her camera kit) Really good discussion, Peace Corps is really trying to boost the number of minorities in the Peace Corps and that includes Asian people and this was a good interview so we just might use it as a recruiting tool. Me: (Interesting) Cool stuff I guess I should have mentioned that a lot of times as I walk by kids often times do martial arts moves in front of me, haha. Interviewer: (Stops unpacking and starts to roll camera) Ummm… can I get you on camera saying that? Me: (Wow….. Since we’re doing gardening work maybe I can throw on a rice hat. Maybe use a pair of chopsticks while eating a bowl of rice. I also have a piano keyboard maybe I can use the chopsticks to play the piano at the same time I’m eating the rice while wearing the rice hat.) Yeah I can do that. [Insert answer about how a lot of times as I walk by kids often times do martial arts moves in front of me.]

Another weird question asked during an interview

Interviewer: So how do you think you can help this team? Me: I feel like throughout my college career I was able to prove that I can work well with the people around me and perform at a high level. I feel like my production in college was very good. Interviewer: This isn’t college anymore. It’s going to be tough out there. Me: I’m going work as hard as I can and you can count on me. I can handle it. Interviewer: Ah alright very good…. Very good….. Is your mother a prostitute? Me: Excuse me? Interviewer: You know does she have sex with people for money? Me: No, my mother is not a prostitute.

Whoa. If that’s not awkward then I don’t know what is. So that last question was not posed to me. This was a question that was recently asked by Miami Dolphin’s personnel man Jeff Ireland while interviewing Texas Tech wide receiver Dez Bryant before the NFL draft. Can you seriously imagine just doing a routine interview, just answering questions, and suddenly the guy interviewing you asks if your mother is a prostitute? It seems Mr. Ireland didn’t read the official interviewing handbook which clearly states, “Rule #87: Don’t ask if the candidate’s mother is a prostitute.”

So hat’s off to you Dez Bryant for you have truly been asked one of the weirdest questions during a job

interview.

I would like to say thank you to everyone that donated money to the Kgwale le Mollo Foundation (KLM Foundation). The KLM Foundation is an organization that is dedicated to helping young and talented South Africans gain access to better education. Students are go through an application process and those that are selected receive a scholarship (including books, tuition, lodging, a small stipend, transport costs) to a top rated educational institution.

In order to fundraise for the organization there is a yearly race called Long Tom which is one of the toughest races in South Africa. Well at least for the people that are running the 56k portion of it. For the people running the 21k, not so difficult. For the people running the 21k we were transported to our starting point while the 56k runners started where the busses picked us up. I remember riding up through the mountains and saying to my friend who looks like Bono, “Damn these are some crazy hills, it’s making me tired, and we’re riding in a bus!” His reply, “Yeah the route we are driving up is the route that the 56k runners have to run up. DAMN!!!!

So we got bussed up to the top of the mountain and finally started our half marathon while the 56k ultra marathon runners suffered in pure agony. So once again this 21k mostly downhill would be really easy. Unless you’re really fat and out of shape despite trying to do some running everyday and are suffering from a high ankle sprain that you have no idea how you got in the first place, then it can be somewhat of a pain. Seriously, you just wake up in the morning and bam, ankle, pain, hurts, can’t support your weight and you walk around the community with people doing fake limps as you walk past them. Then after the race you cannot even move your body. It is just so sore, even though you walked the whole thing. And then you try to hike some 40km over the next 2 days and at one point you are hiking up a hill somewhere around km 32 and you tell everyone you want to stop and take a picture of the majestic scenery (truly magnificent, I wish I could post pictures. Hiking through the mountains in what is the world’s largest artificial forest. The landscapes were amazingly beautiful, and there were natural pools of water that you could go swimming in. It was a lot of fun.) and that everyone can go ahead, but the real reason you stopped is because you are doubled over puking because you are so out of shape.

But I digress. I was one of the runners (more like walkers, finishing time: 3 hours 32 minutes, go baby go) raising money and people donated $510 in my name to the cause. This was a huge success. The total amount of money that was raised by Peace Corps Volunteers running Long Tom was around $17,000 enough money to provide 5 scholarships to promising and aspiring South African students. So without your support these students would not be provided with such an amazing opportunity. So once again, many thanks to you all!

Prologue to blog post 23 –This blog has only 22 posts before this one? And the blog has been up for a year? And none of the posts have pictures? Whoever writes this blog must be an idiot who is severely technically challenged. I may be severely technically challenged, but at least I’m not a jerk. Trying to get pictures up as we speak! Well trying to at least.

Yes folks, a little over 13 months into my Peace Corps experience means that we are at the half way mark. Well technically you are not at the half way mark, but I’m at the half way mark, that’s unless you actually are at the halfway mark. HALF TIME!!!! We were down 17 points at the end of the first quarter and at the end of the half we are only down 10. Progress!

Coaches often times take a look at the stat sheet and compare it to the overall play of the team during half time to see what adjustments need to be made. So here is my first half of my Peace Corps service by the numbers.

10 Things I think Are Facts

1. Number of times I’ve been called China – 316 a. Number of times I’ve tried to explain where Vietnam is – 315 (I got lazy one time) b. Number of times I’ve been called Mlungu (white person/foreigner) wondering where the white person was, only to realize they were referring to me – 22 c. Number of times I’ve been called Mlungu and realized that they were referring to me right away - 94 d. Number of times I’ve been mistaken for an Indian salesmen and that’s why I was not allowed to enter a stakeholder’s meeting - 3 e. Number of times people at stakeholder’s meeting apologized to me not realizing I was the Peace Corps Volunteer they were waiting for and not an Indian salesmen – 3 f. Number of times I have been arrested - 1 g. Number of times the police have threatened to deport me back to India – 1 h. Number of times I have been released from police custody and not deported back to India - 1

2. Number of times I have almost died – 3. Probably actually only twice, but you could argue 3. a. Number of Global Fund Diseases contracted - 1 b. Number of times I have almost been administratively separated – 1 c. Number of times I have almost been medically separated – 1 d. Number of times I possibly could have received interrupted service – 1 e. Number of times I have thought about Early Termination of Service – You really wanna know?

3. Number of Weddings I’ve attended – 2 a. Number of lobola (price paid by husband to family of wife in order to be married, like dowry) ceremonies I’ve attended – 1 b. Number of funerals attended – 9 c. Number of host family members who have died – 3 d. Number of chronically ill patients I’ve visited and later seen die - 4

4. Number of riots/protests/demonstrations/rallies I have gotten sucked into somehow through no fault of my own – 3 a. Number of riots/protests/demonstrations/rallies I have gotten sucked into somehow that were blatantly my fault – 2 b. Longest time with no water access in the community – 27 consecutive days c. 2nd longest time with no water access in the community – 23 consecutive days d. 3rd longest time with no water access in the community – 16 consecutive days e. Shortest time having running water – 3 days f. 2nd shortest time having running water – 8 days

5. Amount of Rand (Exchange rate roughly $1 to R8, throughout the year) spent – R34, 683

6. Number of photos taken – 6, 102 (Yeah I know none have been posted on the blog, I’m on it geeze)

7. Number of long term funding contracts I have helped my organization secure – 1 a. Number of income generating projects initiated at my organization - 2 b. Number of grants/funding proposals written – 3 c. Total number of grants/funding proposals rejected (well probably will be rejected) – 2 d. Number of good ideas not coming to fruition – You don’t want to know, it will make you sad e. Number of days without accomplishments – See 7d. f. Number of staff taught computer literacy and are adequate with computers no longer needing my help - 3 g. Number of children who are entered into our comprehensive HIV/AIDS education program and have gone through a few classes – 223 h. Number of large scale research studies initiated – 2 (Both with different departments!) i. Number of school visits made – A lot j. Number of organizations and stakeholders in the community that now have an active working partnership and now realize Together Everyone Achieves More - 6

8. Number of people I have taught how to use chopsticks – 6 a. Number of people who use them successfully – 0 b. Score on language examination after 2 months after arriving in country – Advanced c. Score I would probably have if I tested tomorrow after being 13 months in country – Novice/N00b d. Number of sports clubs/leagues I have been involved in somehow – 3 e. Number of dance competitions I have seen/taken part in - 4 f. Number of mass emails I have sent to other Peace Corps Volunteers – 9 g. Number of times I have received a scathing email about sending too many mass emails by another volunteer – 1 h. Number of times I have sent a scathing email to volunteers who written me scathing emails about sending too many mass emails - 1

9. Amount of weight I’ve lost since I’ve been here – 35 pounds a. Number of new holes punched in belt because I’m too cheap to buy a new one – 2

10. Number of people I have met, developed relationships with, and all the memories I have had so far throughout my time here – Priceless

So there it is my first half of my Peace Corps experience by the numbers. Man what a difference a year makes! Okay so #10 was corny as what and I realize it’s a lot more than 10 facts/stats and is more like 30 something. Yeah whatever go read a book or something. But looking at all these numbers and things that have been done over the past 13 months I can’t help but smile, cringe, laugh, wonder what the hell was I thinking, and “insert other actions here invoking some sort of emotion”. It’s been one hell of a ride for sure. I’ve learned a lot and gained stories and experiences for a lifetime. I cannot wait to see what the 2nd half has in store.

Have you ever seen those Lebron James commercials in which he does something amazing like a really ridiculous dunk where the defender has no chance to block the shot and the defender ends up getting dominated? Have you seen the commercial in which Lebron makes a crucial shot and the defense could not stop him, or when he dusts his hand and throws the dust up in the air and the commercial then goes to a black screen and says, “Witness”? You just saw something so powerful that you yourself were powerless to stop it and all you can truly do is sit there and witness its power and supremacy as it runs rampant over everything in its path. All I know is that I’m glad that I’m not defending Lebron and that he is not making me a witness on a regular basis.

Since I am a member of the Peace Corps South Africa Diversity Committee I was able to meet the new Peace Corps trainee group while helping facilitate a session. The session was comparing and contrasting times or subjects of history of South Africa and America (Jim Crow v Apartheid, Black economic empowerment v affirmative action, etc.) The session was great fun. During my time with the new group they asked a few questions about my work and what goes on at a home based care organization and I answered their questions as best I could. I said that my organization has 20 caregivers that administer care to people in their homes. Soon enough they will see what it is like to work at a home based care organization and many of their experiences may be similar to what I experienced the first time I went to work. It lead me to think back to my first few days at my permanent site.

It’s been nearly 10 months since I went on my first home based care visit. I didn’t quite know what to expect. I have been told that nearly half of the caregivers are illiterate and only 3 of them have completed high school. We headed out around 9 a.m. There were 3 of us, 2 caregivers and me. We walked around the village which I was still getting accustomed to. The village is extremely large with a large intricate network of back roads where several thousand people stay. We went to our first house and the patient had a slight cough. Turns out she had T.B. and the caregivers came to make sure she taken her T.B. medication. She took it and we left for the next house which took about 15 minutes to get to. The patient was a diabetic. The clinic asked some of the caregivers to check up on him. The caregivers and the man talked to each other for a bit. The man told them he was fine and was taking his medication regularly. The caregivers gave the man a packet upon leaving. I was told it was a nutritional supplement. So these were the first home based care visits. Pretty calm and pretty tame. Everyone seemed to be alright and no real medical consultation was necessary.

I was beginning to assume that these visits were pretty much all going to be like this. That was until I met Roger, our third patient of the day. I walked across the yard up to the house. Before we walked in, we were greeted by an old lady and a young child that continued to stare at me for nearly 5 minutes straight. The caregivers and the old woman talked for several minutes while the kid kept staring straight at me not answering any of my questions. The caregivers and the woman stopped talking and one of the caregivers told me to get ready. They opened the door and that’s when I saw him. Roger, a 5’11” 32 year old man who weighed 105 pounds with every bone protruding from his body. His rib cage nearly collapsed with every breath he took and when you pressed the skin it would stay indented. This was it. You always hear stories of people slowly dying of AIDS who also have tuberculosis. But those stories can never prepare you for the feel, the stench, the sight, nor the experience of pure agony and death.

I began talking to him for a little bit. Roger told me one of his greatest dreams was to play soccer for the Kaiser Chiefs (a professional South African soccer team).

Me: One day you’ll make it. You’ll be a superstar in no time.

Roger: Are you a doctor? Can you help me?

Me: No I’m sorry I’m not a doctor.

Roger: So you came to see me die too.

Me: (silence)

Those stories can never prepare you for the feeling of your soul being ripped to shreds and everyone else around breaks down into tears. Roger died the day after I met him. He died with minimal thought from the outside world. He died a nobody in which someone somewhere decided his life wasn’t worth the $200 a year for Anti-Retroviral Treatment that could have saved his life. Roger was a man who had hopes and aspirations just like you and me. But there is perhaps a big difference between Roger and me, a difference he was unfortunately unable to overcome. Roger was born on the wrong side of the ocean. I was born in the land of opportunity and he was born into deprived squalor. With all the obstacles in Roger’s way (lack of educational opportunities, sub-par healthcare, no job opportunities, HIV prevalence of 40 percent) I wonder if he ever had a chance. I wonder if I was born into Roger’s situation if I would have one either.

I think back to that moment, the moment in which I was powerless to do anything. Is this it? Not just me, but are we all destined to be “witnesses” to the supremacy and unstoppable destructive force of HIV/AIDS? I am left to wonder what I can truly do against something so “powerful”.

So in the end I dedicate this blog post to you HIV/AIDS, one of the most destructive forces in the history of mankind. You have killed every person you have targeted, leaving nothing but a trail of mystery, silence, and fear in your wake, while never being captured or killed yourself. You truly can etch your name amongst the greatest assassins to ever walk the planet. But know this, the silence is ending, and the fear is subsiding. The people have said enough and are coming together to fight. We’re coming for you. And one day you will bear witness to our wrath. Until then, enjoy it while it last buddy.

I wanted to tell you that I'm running a half marathon next month on the 28th of March. The half marathon is called Long Tom marathon. I'm doing it to raise money for charity. The charity is the Kgwale Le Mollo Foundation (KLM Foundation). The foundation was started by Peace Corps volunteers a few years ago. It raises money to help send underpriveleged kids from rural areas to school. These kids would not have a chance at a decent education a lot of times if it wasn't for something like this. They select one student each year and send that student to a top school in South Africa and pay for their room and board, tuition fees, and for tutoring. Each student they have sent is quickly becoming a leader and have enrolled in some of South Africa's top universities and are well on their way to becoming future leaders of South Africa. But they need to raise funds to do this. It is an amazing program that has been put together.

I hate running. I really do and I have never ran over 3 miles in my entire life. So going to 13 miles is a pretty daunting task for me. So I would not be doing this if I didn't believe if it wasn't worthwhile or if it wasn't something great or amazing. I ask you donate some money to the cause since it is a great one. It can be any amount. Even as little as $5. But every dollar counts. I

The easiest and best way to donate would be through the KLM website. Go to the link that I provide and click on the donate section in the upper right-hand corner and fill out the form. In the box that says "Longtom Marathon. If you are making this donation in support of a participant in the Longtom Marathon, please indicate the runner's name" and put my name in. I think they have my short name listed "Alex Tran".

Here are the links

The main site link

http://www.klm-foundation.org/

Here is the donation link to the organization

https://secure.groundspring.org/dn/index.php?aid=20511

Let me know if you make a donation. Your support is much appreciated.

Happy New Year (A few weeks late)

In boycott of this Western hemisphere/North of the equator/East Coast bias I now declare I only recognize the lunar new year and that the solar new year can shove it. Wait, Alex I think you can celebrate both. You mean I get 2 times the fun and 2 times the awesomeness? Never mind I lift my boycott. So Happy new year everyone!

What are my new year’s resolutions you ask? Well I want to:

• Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger.

• Achieve universal primary education.

• Promote gender equality and empower women.

• Reduce child mortality Improve maternal health.

• Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases.

• Ensure environmental sustainability.

• Develop a global partnership for development.

Yeah I am the man! “Wait those aren’t resolutions, you just listed the 8 millennium development goals.” Wait isn’t that the ship in Star Wars. “No idiot, you know the millennium development goals that the United Nations developed first to be achieved by the year 2005 and then it was pushed back to 2010, and then in 2005 they realized these were not going to be achieved by 2010 so they pushed it back to 2015?” Oh right, those ones. Still got some time, but seems like they will have to be pushed back again. And there was this goal of providing universal access to Anti-Retroviral therapy to all persons infected with HIV who needed it by 2010…. Wait. What year is it again? “Remember we have ALL of 2010, including December.” Right….

New New Year’s resolution: Get the Black Eyed Peas new album out of my head because I do not need to be reminded how you got a feeling that tonight’s going to be a good night every 37 seconds. I mean how many times must people play this album on a loop? A teacher asked me how will I be teaching the next HIV education session and I told her, “I’m gonna go boom boom pow and make them meet me half way and party all the time. Oh and 1+1+1=3.” Needless to say she was confused. And you know what, I was too.

So my real New Year’s resolution (Disclaimer: I think the idea of New Year’s resolutions is somewhat silly since you can choose to establish a goal whenever you feel like. So do it.) is to be a little more integrated into my community. I made a graph the other day of how the amount of people screaming and calling me China has exponentially decreased since I have been here. And when I say exponentially decrease I mean that weirdo round sloping down thing. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.

Yes sometimes I am referred to as the country China itself. Think of the magnitude of this.

Young kid: Hey China how are you?

Me: (Insert censored answer here)

So people are not screaming China as much anymore. Why is this? I have come up with three different possibilities:

A. People have come to the conclusion that India and China are the same country and are thus confused as to what to scream.

B. The Chinese guy walking around is actually a shopkeeper who can get people discounts at the local store and new title is “Shop keep”.

C. The Chinese guy has been in the community for almost a year and has gained the respect of those around him due to his ability to explain that he is not Chinese and that you cannot drive from the U.S. to the UK, his attempt to speak and learn the local language, having people get to know him and realize that he has a name, people realizing that he is here to help, and that he is a member of the community now.

If you answered B then you probably wouldn’t be incorrect. Well if you answered A as well then you probably wouldn’t be technically incorrect either. But the answer I’m getting at should be obvious. Working in marginalized community is about building trust in order to be effective. I’ve been here for awhile and as people learn more about me and the more I learn about them it makes for a better and more respectful relationship. But there is more I can do. In a community of 50,000 people it’s hard to get to know everyone, especially in such a relatively short time. I have been stationed here to achieve certain and goals and objectives concerning the health of the population but it’s important to remember that they aren’t some case study, they aren’t an objective to be achieved. They are people with unique and fascinating stories and maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get to hear some day.

I remember meeting my host sister for the first time, fourth youngest in the family. She was 28. She was a semi-talkative but not that talkative kind of quiet type that talked but kind of kept quiet. You know what I’m saying? No? Well if you did then I would be worried. I remember when we were introduced she kind of looked at me strangely and I said to her, “Why are you looking at me like that?” She told me and apparently I had tomato sauce in my hair. First impression, best impression. My host mom thinks I’m incapable (much like my real mom) and when incidents such as that happen, I really do not blame her.

I talked to her for a bit. She was pretty, smart, and funny. She was in her last year of medical school and was to become a doctor in the next year. I asked her what she wanted to practice. “PRAYER! Because medicine is not enough. Sometimes we need the lord to pull us through.” At this point she busts out laughing and tells me to relax and wipe the tomato sauce remnants that are still in my hair all the while my host mom shakes her head while staring at me. She then told me she wanted to be a proctologist. I told her she was lucky since one of my dreams in life was to play with shit all day. She laughed and said, “You would.” Indeed I would, wait would I? Nah probably not. For a few seconds I really did think she wanted to be a proctologist but she then busted out laughing again and said no I don’t want to be a proctologist. She the then said she wanted to be a podiatrist in which I asked her, “You seriously want to look at feet all day?” She then busted out laughing and we went on a wild goose chase of her saying, “I want to be a (insert medical field here).” And my response being “(Insert witty confused comment here)”. I resisted the urge to scream, “OH JUST TELL ME ALREADY!” And it made me realize, man is this what I do to people? If it is, I sincerely apologize. She told me then for real she wanted to be a cardiologist and that my blood pressure was high so I should lay off the knorr soup packets. Thanks for the advice doctor. She asked me what my religion was. I told her I was Buddhist and she asked me, “Is that the one where you get to live again as something crazy based on how you behave?” In which my response was, “I was a tiger in my last life and at the rate things are going, I’m going to be a porcupine in the next. How sweet is that?” She told me, “More like a sloth who can’t even get the tomato sauce out of his own hair!” She busts out laughing and I look at my host mom once again and she just sits there shaking her head. She told me she was a born again Christian and she thought the idea or reincarnation was crazy. I wanted to say, “And the idea of a dude sitting on a cloud in front of 7 billion flat screen TV’s watching our entire lives and every move isn’t? Come on!” She went on to say well if we can’t agree on god then at least we can probably agree on meditation. And like one of my favorite born again Christians which we know so well, I told her, “Bring it on.”

Talk about being on top of the world. Recently she had graduated from medical school the first in her entire family to finish a graduate degree. A person that everyone looked upon for guidance and was not too shy to share a laugh with you. She was to start her medical career as a doctor on the 1st day of the year 2010. She didn’t make it there. The world came crashing down and ripped a part of this country’s future out of this unsuspecting family’s hands and then there was nothing. Killed in a car accident 4 days before she was to begin her first day of work in which everyone would address her as “Doctor”. The world she once told me was a cruel place, but in the end the lord would provide as long as you believe in him like he believes in you. She brought joy to a lot of people and it seemed like she had enough positive and inspiring energy to live the lives of 100 people a thousand times over. I just hope her lord provided her with what she believed he would provide in the end. Amen.

6 months. That’s right 6 months, soon to be 7 that my organization’s main funder the #% in partnership with the $%^&^%^&^% of #$$$^& (If I can’t even say the name of my organization you think I can say the names of my funders! Come on man!) has not given us money that we are contracted to receive. Is that even legal? Can a funder who our organization has a contract with not dispense funds for over 6 months? We have been told by our funder that one of the partners is struggling to dispense funds and to write them a formal letter letting them know that we are filing a complaint. What does that even mean? A. That’s not going to accomplish anything and B. We have literally run out of money to purchase paper that this formal letter is supposed to be written on so even if we wanted to “file a formal complaint via a letter” we could not do it anyway. Man you people must be crazy! As a result of this, the ability to sustain day-to-day operations has been somewhat difficult to say the least.

The most difficult part is when the workers do not get paid. Nearly 7 months without pay. And it is not even that much! $50 a month per caregiver and really not that much more for members of the management staff. Is that too much to ask? It should not be a mystery as to why the current work rate is lower than what it usually is. Unfortunately for us, morale is at an all time low. A lot of times in the past few months I’ll complain about the “lackluster effort” that many people around the office are putting in especially when it comes to a new project we are designing. Lackluster reporting, lackluster communication, lackluster service delivery. I’ll try to get people motivated and the response I get from some people are “Ngilambile” (I’m hungry). Damn… What do I say to that? If I were in their shoes, I wonder if I would have stayed around. I’ve never been in that situation before but I imagine 6 months without pay would have put me in a precarious position. People can only go so long working for the good of the community just with the good of their hearts. At some point people will need money for basic needs ($50 a month worth of basic needs). And unfortunately for 6 months none of the people at my organization have received even that.

During my studies we always discussed theoretically where to put funding and to put money into what program and all those types of things. It was discussed many times that some funding cuts would be necessary to some programs. I always said that even the smallest of funding cuts could inhibit the ability to fight many health ailments on a grand scale. Of course we always discussed this theoretically and hypothetically but during my time here I’ve been able to see it with my own eyes, how a $20,000 funding cut can stop the fight against HIV/AIDS dead, right in its tracks. Programs being administered by us have begun to sputter out at a rapid rate as we no longer have the funds to sustain them. A major international organization that is PEPFAR supported stated that the area that my community is in has one of the lowest healthcare professionals (including caregivers my organization employs) to persons in the entire country. The HIV prevalence rate is 38 percent, not just one of the highest in South Africa, but in the world. If the lack of funding continues and organizations such as mine in the area cannot operate the consequences will be dire, and I do not think I need to spell them out for you.

During my time here I have been astounded at the work rate of some of the caregivers that go house to house, door to door delivering primary care to sick people in their homes. Some walk over 10km a day to deliver life saving medication to people with tuberculosis. They are the backbone of the fight against HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, and other health ailments that inflict the population. But morale has been devastated. How can they worry about other people when even their own children are beginning to starve due to their lack of income? I’ll try my best to find other sources of funding in the hopes that when I try to motivate members of my organization the response I get won’t be “Ngilambile”.

Asks the young child whose teacher has not come to class. That’s a good question kid where is your teacher? I was supposed to come and talk to him today and observe how your class was taught, not show up and be confused like you as to where your teacher has gone. There is only one thing we can do now. PARTY DOWN!!! “Sibussiso, does that mean we can talk without raising our hands and being yelled at?” For now, yes it does. You are all free from the domineering, forceful, monotone, and unexciting style of ‘I am the educator and you are the learner my way is the right way and don’t think of questioning me so just write down what I say and don’t ask questions’, of teaching that does not foster any sort of critical thinking thus inhibiting your ability in the real world.

Am I impressed that you could memorize all the writing on a full chalk board in about 3 minutes? Am I impressed that some of you kids have the ability to memorize everything you have ever seen and can spit out answers to questions with dangerous efficiency? Well yes, I am actually. But the answers you provided are answers to questions you knew the teacher was going to ask. I’m more curious as to what does that answer mean? (Child starts muttering something). No, no you’re just repeating the same answer again; I wanted to know what the answer meant. (Silence. Child starts muttering something). No, no now you are talking about something that is totally different. Don’t worry about it. We can go on to something new. Who wants to play Duck, duck, goose? Don’t worry I can show you.

It seems we have a situation. That situation seems to me that the skill of critical thinking is an element that is severely lacking in the South African educational system. I know what you are thinking. Oh my god, Alex Tran you are such a bigot you just said every South African does not have the ability to think critically. No, no, no, that’s not what I’m saying. In fact I would argue I did not say anything of that sort. As I said earlier many of the teachers (not all) have a very domineering style of teaching. If a student asks a question such as, why is it like that? Often times the answer that the teacher gives is “Because I said so” or “Because that’s just the way it is, so memorize it”. I would argue that this type of learning environment does not foster creative or critical thinking. So when the teacher is teaching the majority of the time they teach kids to memorize everything they say. So in essence kids are taught what to think, not necessarily how to think. This affects many students’ ability to conceptualize abstract concepts. Many times kids are unable to connect the dots when it comes to different things. Let me give you an example. When I’m at the taxi rank a guy collects money from each row. He knows how much money he should get from each row, and he knows that he needs 28 rand total from the back row. There are 4 people in the back and a ride on the taxi is 7 rand. I asked him how good was his multiplication he answered conveniently “It’s very good I know that 6 x 3 is 18 and 6 x 4 is 24, 5 x 5 is 25, 4 x 3 is 12. I know all these things”. Interesting, so I asked him what is 7 x 4? He said the 7 x 4 is 30 (a blind guess it seems), not realizing that he had the answer in his hand (28 rand). He explained that he only memorized multiplication tables up to the number 6. So in essence he could tell me that 6 x 6 equals 36, but he probably could not tell me why. And this creates a large scale of problems throughout the rest of these students’ lives, especially when it comes to more complex decisions that may put the person at risk of contracting HIV.

So it can be argued that a lot of times the teaching style is not ideal in many situations. But what if the teacher does not even show up to class? Surely there must be a substitute that comes in and takes the place of the missing teacher and teaches the class. Ummm…. Hate to tell you but no, most of the time if the teacher does not come to class (for whatever reason) there is no substitute and the class and all its students are left unattended. So what you mean to tell me is that when the teacher is present all he or she does most of the time is tell the kids information to memorize, and when he or she is not there they don’t learn anything at all? Yup, that’s what I meant to tell you. It’s a shame that this situation happens. Compound this with the fact that many people that do become teachers in the future will have gone through this educational system that lacks the critical thinking element, therefore the cycle is more likely than not to continue.

So it may sound funny, but once again I have been gifted with an opportunity. As I stood around the class wondering where the teacher had gone and realizing that no substitute teacher was going to come, I realized it. Yeah it, it being the realization that my organization and I had the opportunity to teach in classrooms about HIV/AIDS without us being a disruption. I asked the principal since the teacher was not there if my organization and I could come into the classroom and teach the class about HIV/AIDS. The principal said that would not be a problem. I explained in my last blog post that the financial manager of the organization I work for is a person who is very passionate about teaching about HIV/AIDS to people and that she and I developed a curriculum to work with the local soccer teams. We now apply that curriculum to classes. We have come to an agreement with several of the surrounding schools that if a life orientation (life orientation is a class in which kids are taught about how to make good decisions in life, or at least that is the aim of the class) teacher cannot come to teach the class, the school will call us and we can fill in as substitutes and teach about HIV/AIDS. It’s been an interesting experience so far. The first few classes were tough because we try not to just give information on HIV but we try to make students think critically about it. We encourage condom use (in the schools we’re allowed to talk about condoms that is) and how important it is to use them especially if a person has multiple partners. In response to that a student told me, “Wait a second, so if a girl has multiple partners and all those partners use condoms when having sex with her she should not have an STD. So if I had sex with her that means I would not have to use a condom because everyone else uses a condom.” Very well thought out, multiple connections, the use of abstract thinking, now that my friends is critical thinking you can take to the bank! I applaud the thought process but that is not what I was trying to get at when I was talking about making people think critically about HIV. Unfortunately he may have missed another critical element in which what if each of the partners has the same mentality and does not use a condom when having sex with her. But you know what, it’s progress, and I’ll take that.

1. The application of economic models, concepts, and analysis to topics that are not traditionally covered by economics.

2. “It’s so strange you just have to believe it.” Did you know that someone analyzed finger length as a predictor of SAT scores? Seems someone wanted to find out if the Chinese wives tale that if your ring finger is longer than your index finger on your left hand then you are a genius. Might want to look into triple sneezing and liking cats as indicators to being a genius as well.

It was discovered that persons with longer ring fingers usually scored higher in math than verbal and if the index finger was longer then that person usually scored higher in verbal. Freakonomics, analyzing finger size in comparison to SAT scores.…

Now I was contemplating all sorts of economic concepts such as supply and demand, buyers and sellers maximizing utility, globalization, development, incentives in the free-market, what does freedom mean to me, freestyle rap battles, house music competitions, and I came to the conclusion that I’m wasting my time and probably should be contemplating other things, because let’s face it thinking about that stuff is boring as crap. I should probably think about what I consider my main mission and that is telling kids not to get the HIV. That’s not to be confused with the Hi-five. That would be just silly.

I was recently presented with an interesting opportunity. The financial manager of my organization used to be a lay counselor who counseled and taught about HIV/AIDS to people. Teaching and counseling people on all sorts of issues is a passion of hers and she is even more passionate about talking to people about HIV/AIDS. She began working with local youth soccer teams (about 8 full size teams) and educating them about HIV/AIDS. For awhile I wanted to engage with the youth soccer leagues to do the same thing but I did not quite know how to do it. So in essence I have been gifted with an opportunity. Having a counterpart that is good at communicating messages in a way people understand to a group of kids that I wanted to help educate about HIV/AIDS was the perfect set up.

It’s important to get the education curriculum that we’re teaching solid in such a way that the children want to say “Damn that’s rock solid.” Damn that’s rock solid indeed. My counterpart and I compiled a comprehensive list of questions covering a wide array of questions and topics relating to HIV and AIDS. These topics consisted of what is HIV, what is AIDS, how do you get HIV, how do you prevent yourself from getting HIV, why it’s important to test, and so on and so forth. We even touched base with some traditional things in which we argue that the shirtless man wearing a loin skin g string with face paint on screaming, “You must sacrifice a virgin goat and drink the blood of its mother in order to be cured of the virus,” is not necessarily correct. In fact I think we came to the conclusion that he may not be correct at all. (I really hope he’s not reading this right now and really hope that goat somehow escaped.) My counterpart and I discussed the topics and made sure we were on the same page when it came to the answers and responses. It’s important that we not differ on the information and have arguments in front of the group because that may cause confusion on the information which is something we don’t want. Or do we? No, no we definitely do not want that. Or do we? Dude, what did I just say?

My counterpart was able to round up the coaches of the teams and some of the team captains. It turns out my two next door neighbors are in charge of running the soccer league which is crazy since I did not know who was running them the entire time I have been here and all me and him do is talk about soccer and he neglected to tell me this small detail. Come on man! We did not discuss any HIV/AIDS related material at this first meeting. We just introduced ourselves and laid out what we wanted from them and what we were planning on doing. They seemed to like what we were saying and really taking it in. It was agreed that we would meet bi-weekly. This seemed very promising.

That was until it happened. Until what happened? Did I say until it happened? I probably should have said until it ‘did not’ happen. My two counterparts and I sat around for about 20 minutes wondering, “Huh, why are we here again? Were we supposed to meet with someone? Oh right we were here to meet with one of the soccer teams and teach them about HIV/AIDS and none of them came. How could we forget?” Alright stuff happens. It’s a process. Getting into the groove of new meetings and stuff can be difficult in the beginning so we called the coaches to remind them we had another meeting that week and make sure that their players came to the meeting. That was until it happened. Until what happened? Sorry I meant to say until it did not happen in which we were left wondering, “Huh, why are we here again? Were we supposed to meet with someone? Oh right we were here to meet with one of the soccer teams and teach them about HIV/AIDS and none of the came. HOW COULD WE FORGET!?” We ran into some of the kids later that week and we asked why they did not come to the meeting? “Oh man, I forgot.” Or “I really wanted to come but I couldn’t because I had to find my goat, he’s gone missing somewhere….” Or “Oh man, I remembered the meeting and I really wanted to come.” Wait you remembered there was a meeting and you wanted to come, yet you did not put a follow up statement as to why you did not show up. You see how there is something wrong with this logic? You couldn’t say you lost a goat like this other kid? Where are all these goats disappearing to anyway?

The kids said they were still willing to learn and have meetings. But we were having some attendance issues. We discussed some things such as if the kids did not come to the meetings then they would not be allowed to play in the games or we could beat them with a stick (Okay this one was not discussed, but could it work? NO!). I am not a big fan of negative reinforcement and always liked positive incentive a lot better if it was applicable.

I thought for awhile as to how I could get these kids to be a little more enthusiastic and more willing to learn about HIV/AIDS in a positive way. I kept wondering is there some kind of a really large event being held in South Africa sometime in the next year that would garner the interest of youth league soccer players? So maybe the kids would be interested in something sports. Would there be any type of sports event being held in South Africa that was receiving a ton of media attention or something of the sort that has ordinary South Africans hyped up? As I thought for awhile thinking about what that type of crazy event could be light bulbs went off, WORLD CUP, and all those economic concepts flooded back into my brain (as opposed to my elbow).

Globalization and development– The world’s international football governing body, FIFA, is sending the 32 best footballing/soccer (who gives a crap what it’s called, yes sir please relax I know football is an American game involving downfield passing, I get it and soccer is pointless and really boring, we know) nations on the planet to the shores of Africa for the first time in June 2010 in what is the greatest sporting competition the world has ever seen. Many says it is a great opportunity to finally bring the world’s game to some of the most impoverished people in the world. There are many business opportunities to be had and some say the money coming in will benefit South Africa greatly. But the questions that globalization raise, will only the most affluent people in South Africa be able to be a part of history and will the most rural and most poor of persons not be able to feel the positive effects the world cup may have on the nation? It is argued that many rural persons will never be able to take part in the world cup regardless if it were in their country so it might as well be somewhere else, in a nation that had the capacity to hold the event.

Supply and Demand – There are a limited amount of tickets to the world cup games and supposedly they were sold out nearly a year before the games even began and millions of people are left without any wishing they had better luck. I guess I was lucky that I got mine in time.

Buyers and sellers maximizing utility – I am in possession of relatively a large number of tickets in which there is not possibility of me going to all the games due to work, money restraints and other things. Looks like I’m going to have to get rid of some. Many rural people, especially members of youth soccer leagues, do not have access to world cup tickets and would really like to attend a game and this would mean the world to them if they could.

Incentives in the free market – “Don’t tax me I work hard for my money man!” Okay just relax there; I’m really sorry you are not happy that some of your 7 figure income is being taken away. I can see the “R” next to your name is not going anywhere soon. Incentives, it matters in many situations.

Putting all those concepts together I came to the conclusion to my problems. “I will administer a test when we have taught the information we want to teach about HIV/AIDS and the best 3 test scores, those persons gets a free ticket to the world cup, and the 4th ticket will go to your chaperone.” Oh… suddenly everyone wants to learn and talk about HIV/AIDS? People suddenly want to come on time and learn as much as they can? Bringing the world’s game to those less fortunate who work hard for it, freakonomics…. Go figure.

Ready count with me, 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi…. If you haven’t screamed “Okay this is stupid so cut to the chase already” yet then well, you crazy. My loyal blog followers (if there are any) it has been a long time since you heard me rant (about 45 days to be exact). There’s a lot to be said so indeed, I shall “cut to the chase.”

In today’s edition we have a story of a retired legendary car booster who has to boost cars to save his kid brother by boosting more cars even though he said he would never do it again. It involves a love story, police chasing nitrous pumped vehicles in a helicopter, and a soccer mom van. “Wait isn’t that the plot of the movie Gone in 60 seconds?” Uhhhh…. Huh… I guess it is. Really does not have anything to do with South Africa if you think about it. Well here is an update in one sentence that will take you about 60 seconds to read. This just in, I did its (not it but its, the plural of it meaning there are multiple “it” things involved. Please ignore the fact that this is grammatically false and absurdly incorrect), yeah its, I managed to get everyone in my town employed, ended all HIV/AIDS related stigma, got the class size of all schools in my area to 25 or less, got all teachers to show up to class on time every day, condoms are acceptable and encouraged by everyone especially those in the devout Christian community and they actually have condom parties in which they blow up condoms like balloons and have relay races with them in which you must blow the condom up and run and hand it off to the next person and if for any reason pops or does not have air in it then you must stop and blow up a new condom with air and the team that crosses the finish line first (condom intact and full of air) wins a copy of the Koran, I also ended hunger and cured AIDS. Pretend it’s 2003 and you are on the USS Lincoln. Call me George W. because I declare “Mission Accomplished.” Woo! Imagine what 45 days can do for you! “Ummm… Alex you forgot the part in which none of that ever happened.” Dude…. why must you ruin this for me? Okay so I lied, there are no weapons of mass destruction and they were actually aluminum waste buckets that were filled with fluorescent green paint. Can you blame me?

Am I saying that I have done and accomplished nothing? Not exactly. I’m just saying that it is always important to put things in perspective. I mean sorry I couldn’t win a Nobel Peace Prize 9 months since the start of my service. Geeze, give me a break. So 9 months into service. It’s not a bad feeling. I like a certain Nobel Prize winner tend to think incrementally. You can only do something if you have done something else to set that situation up. I like him feel like it’s important to set up a strong foundation to move forward. Once that base has been built then we can watch the culmination of that work develop into real results and watch it snowball into something great and magnificent. “Are you saying that something like that will happen or is in the making?” I’m not sure to be honest. To quote another great incrementalist (not sure if this is an actual quote, but I will put quotations on it anyway) “You can only see what is in front of you, but that does not mean you cannot imagine what is beyond.” I can say this will happen and that will happen and all this stuff as a result of my work but in the end I will only truly know when it is all said and done.

I have a few things that keep me occupied at the time. All of which are fairly long term projects and if I am lucky I may not see if that snowball becomes something great and magnificent. I suppose what I’m saying is that I would consider myself lucky (if not successful) if I did not see the end of a few projects that I have started. “So what you’re saying is, if you did not see the end of those projects by the time you left then that means they would still be continuing and growing without your help?” Bingo, you got it kid. Take the garden project for example that I discussed in the past in a few blog posts. I believe I make references to it in blog posts “Project Now” and “The End of the First Quarter”. We have drawn up a plan to create the garden with the space that we have. We are in the process of making compost (nutrient rich soil that helps retain water at a ludicrously higher rate and in the end helps produce amazing food). When the compost is ready we can plot out the land and add the compost to the soil (soil fertility is poor hence why compost is necessary. I recently attended a gardening workshop and learned how to develop an amazing garden with nutrient depleted soil, of course you must replete the soil with compost, but trust me it was good) and then beginning planting our crops. Can you imagine what can be done with all these crops and vegetables when they are fully grown? Can you imagine when we complete the garden and our entire hectare is full of rich amazing vegetables that taste great? We would be able to provide our own food parcels (lessening our dependency on funders who often times do not keep their word when it comes to providing necessary funds on time) to HIV patients and orphans and vulnerable children ensuring that they have adequate vegetables to eat that can help them maintain a good balanced diet and adequate nutrition. We could sell off the extra vegetables that we have thus granting our organization some income further lessening the dependency on external funders. We could hold workshops to teach people how to make amazing gardens on land that was previously believed to be ‘infertile’ and many people could take control of their own food security and take pride in the fact that they are now providing for themselves. Imagine what this could do for food security in our community. Many people would be a lot less hungry and could focus their energy on other things. “Wait Tran, the last time I checked you did not finish your compost pile, your garden has not been dug up and prepared, and you don’t even have seeds to plant, much less tools or access to water to even get those plants growing and harvested.” Man, did I just get brought back down to earth or what? The imaginary character asking me questions in this blog post is right. How can I go on and on about all these things when I have not even completed the foundation of the project? Of course it’s important to develop a vision and set goals to be achieved, but I guess I’m learning is that your head can’t be in the clouds forever, you do have to come back down to earth for at least awhile and face the reality that things take awhile to build and things take hard work to achieve. It’s hard! I mean I’m a fan of the Washington Redskins for Christ’s sake and I truly and outrageously believe that the Redskins will win the superbowl every year even though the team has not built a strong foundation to build on and are consistently defeated by winless teams that suck big time which kind of means the Redskins suck big time. Sigh… there’s always next year?

As a prelude to the next few blog posts I will list off a few projects that I have going. I have my research project analyzing the knowledge, perceptions, and behaviors when it comes to HIV/AIDS. Target population is students in grades 6 – 12 in the surrounding schools. Another research project I have is analyzing what students get out of Life Orientation class and helping to develop a student feedback system with the Department of Education. Another project is teaching school learners and members of youth sports teams comprehensive HIV/AIDS education (with an incentive). And I also still help my organization with development and I plan on doing a lot of grants and fundraising for them.

I will go into all of these in further detail in my next few blog posts. Until then, do what it is that it does.

Can you believe I’ve been in South Africa for a little over 7 months? Yeah that’s right, 7 months. Ah it feels almost like yesterday that I got off the plane in this country. Wait, no it doesn’t. 7 months? Definitely feels that long. It leads you to reflect a little bit and to ask questions like “Where does the time go?” But then you realize that time never left you. It was always at your side. It’s just that you were too busy to realize that it was growing old with you and would always be there. Uhhh did I just write that? Sorry about that. Seems like the malaria I had a couple months ago may have been cerebral malaria, it’s about time that my blood and urine got rechecked and in this case we could throw in a cat scan. Man 2 months since I almost died of malaria? That itself is also crazy, now that feels just like yesterday. Hmmm indeed, “Where does the time go?” But then you realize that time never left you. It was always at your side. It’s just that you were too busy to realize …wait a second…

7 months woo. Where does that place me on the timeline you ask? My entire Peace Corps service is supposed to be 26 months in total. 2 months of training in the beginning and then the 24 months of actual service at my permanent site. So if we look at the total 26 month total that puts me at a little over quarter of the way. That’s right folks it’s the end of the first quarter.

How does it feel you ask? I guess it feels good that I’ve lasted this long. Not that I have any doubts of me completing my service I’m just saying stuff happens. Whether that stuff be crazy diseases, death, getting kicked out, break-dance competitions, really bad grammar and the realization that the present tense conjugation of the verb ‘to be’ is ‘is’, stuff ‘be’ crazy sometimes and you know this. But indeed those crazy things that could be have not been manifested and here I am 7 months into my journey. Living here has definitely been interesting. From drinking tea all day when we’re supposed to be working, being sandwiched in between two 200 pound women on a taxi that have zero mobility so you actually have to climb over them to get out, learning that condoms have worms in them and to prove this you put water in them, the best way to keep dogs under control is to beat the anger out of them, watching the local youth basketball team play a 3 – 2 zone (you heard me correctly, not the 2 – 3 zone but a 3 – 2 zone, the most ineffective defense ever), conversations with drunk people at 11 A.M., being reminded that the wrath of God is going to rain on me soon for not going to church every 45 minutes, to kids having debates in class to determine if you are actually from China or India. Some compelling arguments were made. “He has to be Chinese because he looks Chinese and probably knows kung-fu like Jackie Chan, but on the other hand he speaks English really well so he has to be Indian.” Enter the third kid, “Guys no, he’s neither. He is a Vietnamese American. His parents moved from Vietnam to America and he was born and raised in America. He has told us this a hundred times I cannot believe this is still a topic of conversation.” Thanks little man, you are truly a beast on fire. But you can call me Jackie Chan if you want, go on, I don’t mind. That guy is the man.

Ah, the life, it’s crazy sometimes no? It’s been fun for the most part so far. But I am not without my doubts and challenges. Remember I came here to work, I came here to do a job, not to live out my dreams of learning that taking a shower after having sex with a person with HIV will prevent you from getting HIV (for the record that is not at all true, I hope you keep that in mind). So 7 months in, well technically 5 months, I had the 2 months of training in the beginning. So 5 months in, what kind of progress have you made in your job, in your organization, and in your community? Ummm…. You can talk to my agent Drew Rosenhaus and he will speak on my behalf, “Next Question”. To be honest and truthful and frank and not lie and use the word ‘and’ multiple times in a grammatically incorrect way, progress has been slow and sometimes completely stagnant and it’s been difficult.” When my response to at least 50 percent of the questions that people ask me is, “Angiva, ngicolisa Siswati sami sucks” (I don’t understand, sorry my Siswati sucks) it’s going to be a little tough (I better start studying up some language or it’s going to stay like this). When tea time is about 7 hours long, progress is going to be stagnant. When the concept of doing work gives people headaches:

Me:Alright good you figured out how to capitalize letters. Now let’s start typing the document up.

Co-worker: Eish, Sibussiso I am tired we have worked so much can we do this tomorrow?

Me: We have been sitting here for 5 minutes at most and you only wrote your name. No wait, I actually wrote that.

Co-worker: Aiii Sibussiso, please I am getting a headache, and I am going to cry. I need some more tea.

Me: Is 15 consecutive minutes of work to much to ask? You can’t look at me while I’m wearing a 3,000 rand suit and not work for at least 15 minutes, come on!

There are so many things I want to do and I feel as if I’m on the cusp of getting the ball rolling, but I realize that I need to get a different mindset out of my organization before I can stretch out any programs into the community. So with the 1st quarter coming to an end, our offense acquired no first downs and turned the ball over twice, while the defense allowed 2 touchdowns and a field goal, I had to pull my management team aside and have a little pep talk:

Me: Do you remember when that Dutch couple that came here and taught us about the gardening stuff?

Team: Yes Sibussiso, we do.

Me: Well look at our supposed garden, because we haven’t done anything with the knowledge they gave us. I have heard that the same Dutch couple is coming back from Holland soon and want to check up on how the garden is going. When they come here and see that we have made very little progress they’re going to be disappointed. I suppose that’s my fault since I was the one who was in charge. But when they come here and see that their teachings have progressed nowhere they’ll have to ask themselves, “Was it worth coming here?” Do you think it was worth it for them?

Team: If you put it that way, then no it was not worth it for them.

Me: Uh-huh. You all see me as a talented individual. Imagine all the other things I could be doing that could be meaningful as well. I’ve been here for 5 months now, and what do I have to show for it? A stagnant garden project? A couple of documents that we typed up together? Not that much in the grand scale of things. Now I have to ask a question to myself and feel free to answer it as well. With the amount of progress that has been made and the lack of progress that will be made if we keep going at this pace, “Was it worth it for me to have come here and is it worth it for me to stay?”

Team: Don’t go we need you here.

Me: Then let’s get to work.

The results were shocking. I have never seen the team work so hard before. Our organization is trying to become an accredited hospice association which in a sense makes it an accredited PEPFAR organization. And believe it or not we have all the documents and policies in order now after the management team and I have been cranking out information for the upcoming assessment. Wow. Wish I had given that pep talk sooner. This could be the start of something new. We actually now have a platform we can move forward from. Get excited.

“How does it feel to walk on the inside outside with the sun shining on your face outside?” That is a serious question my host father here at site asked me once. You can understand that I was a bit confused and the only thing I could tell him was that, “It feels good.” He let out a large burst of laughter and walked off. I don’t think I’ll ever know what he was talking about, in fact it just doesn’t make any sense rhetorically or grammatically, but I guess maybe he wanted it that way.

My host father died last week in a car accident. He was 69 years old. He was the jolliest person I had ever met. A very religious man who berated me many a time as to why I should bow down to the wrath of the lord Jesus Christ. He was a former teacher and principal. We would talk sometimes about the challenges of the school system and they would always end with him laughing for 5 consecutive minutes leaving me feeling very awkward thinking, “Kids stuffed in classes with 100 other students with a under qualified teacher is hardly funny.” But I realize now that was his way of showing me he was uncomfortable with it too. I’ll miss our conversations. They were truly enlightening sometimes and he gave me a great perspective into how the South African education system worked. He was a good man and I may not have believed in the God that he believes in, but I’m sure he’s in a place he always told me was better. R.I.P.

Here’s a small update on my organization, what I generally do there, and the stuff that I am attempting to put together.

I’m happy to say I am working full time again. I help my organization by helping to do a lot of administrative work, such as teach the financial officers how to do their financial reports to donors, teach the nurses how to compile health statistics that are gathered by the caregivers in the field and how to administer medical care, teach the caregivers how to use the various reporting documents we have, freestyle rap battles, all the while trying to put policies in place to help the organization move forward, etc, etc. It’s important that I take on more of a teaching role than a doing role. It’s great that I could do everything and claim that I got a million things accomplished but would that be really helping in the long run? Better I teach certain skills or things so that when I leave the organization and its staff will have a solid base to work off of when I’m gone.

It can get pretty boring at times. I’m talking really boring. Like you thought this was going to be cool but then you hit a brick wall and you ask yourself man, I feel like I’ve seen this before…. Oh right it was a movie called “Office Space”. Come on people, this is a job just like any other. Except this time it’s in a small village where government doesn’t give a crap and the concept of doing work is something foreign in the workplace. I mean come on, how long can you actually drink tea for? You’ve been pouring hot water on that one tea bag in your cup for the last 4 cups you drank you can at least get a new one and you’re supposed to be drinking tea not hot sugar water. Time goes by… so slowly…. Yes thank you Madonna for pointing that out, don’t you have another Malian baby you need to adopt? A lot of times things just don’t get done at the pace you would like, but I think progress is being made and slowly the skills of the staff of the organization are being built up and we are becoming a little more effective. I can feel the dependency of the organization on me is starting to fade away and people are able to use computers without my help, or write up reports without my input. And it’s a good feeling. So in the end it’s pretty rewarding. Now if we can just get money for internet in our next funding cycle…

Our organization is going through a bit of a funding crisis as of now. We have funding secured from a major donor but it seems the global economic crisis is hurting them and they cannot dispense cash they don’t have. This obviously doesn’t help us much. My organization was trying to write up a proposal to secure funds to buy food for orphans and vulnerable children, but the funding never came. So the only thing I could think of was, “Let’s make the food ourselves”. And so was the birth of the community garden project. A Dutch couple came a few times and were able to teach me an interesting farming technique. You take a 2 liter soda bottle and punch strategically placed pin sized holes in it. Put it in the ground and plant within 1 meter of the bottle. Fill the water bottle up and suddenly your plants are watered. Yup just like that. No water is wasted on evaporation and it all goes straight to the root system which is convenient since my village/town is in a constant state of water crisis. They also taught me the art of making a compost heap, or turning kitchen scraps and manure into nutrient dense soil. This is a long process which is not being helped by the fact that we never have enough materials for the compost heap. So I keep asking my caregivers to bring compost heap materials and I get a result that goes something like this “hahaha Sibussiso utse letsa icompost” (hahaha Sibussiso says bring Compost) and a day later this is the result I get “Ngicolisa, Ngikolhwe kuletsa icompost.” (Sorry, I forgot to bring compost). But slowly some of the caregivers are starting to remember to bring compost materials so that’s good. The plan is that perhaps in time we can have a fully fledged garden in which we can grow our own vegetables to give to people in need of food in the community all the while not depending on foreign funding that doesn’t exist. That’s the plan, we’ll see what works.

South Africa. The land in which talking about HIV/AIDS will cause you to get AIDS… Really? Maybe…. Uhhhh no. Speaking about HIV/AIDS will not result in you getting HIV/AIDS. That is just silly. But something we might need to address. The fear and stigma of AIDS is strong in this society. People are willing to talk about it, but there is a definite air of uncomfortability every time the subject is brought up. I want to start open discussions about it, but how to go about it…. You know me and I like that shock and awe tactic of busting in there and taking it. Bust in where you ask? Well we’re not technically busting in anywhere just be quiet and let me explain. I feel as if it’s important to talk about HIV/AIDS openly with youth and they will be more open about it in the future as they get older. So my idea is to do a mass survey. Wait that’s your idea? That’s just retarded. It may seem that way but here’s the plan. This is a survey that will have 3 parts to it. Part 1 will be general knowledge questions of HIV/AIDS.

Example – “Using condoms correctly during sex reduce the likelihood of transmitting HIV”

Options – Yes No Maybe

Asking knowledge questions can help pin point the problems when it comes to HIV/AIDS education. Part 2 get s a bit controversial and a bit intense (But Alex Tran didn’t come to this country to play Mr. Nice guy or to take a patty cake approach to HIV prevention, no he came here to not take a patty cake approach to HIV prevention and to also talk in the third person, yeah). Part 2 is the perception/attitudes portion of the survey/questionnaire

Example – “If a person gets HIV, it’s that person’s fault.”

-“You’ve been pressured into having sex.”

-“It’s okay for a boy to have more than one partner at the same time." (Ask same question but this time for girls

Options – Strongly Agree Agree Neutral Disagree Strongly Disagree Don’t Know

Yeah this ain’t for the faint of heart son. This can help analyze the thought process some people have when it comes to the HIV related stigma or having multiple partnerships (one of the biggest contributing factors to the HIV/AIDS epidemic). Part 3 is the behavior part of the survey/questionnaire.

Example – “You used a condom the last time you had sex”.

Options – Yes No Don’t know

This will simply point out what type of behaviors people are engaged in. Everything is pretty straight forward but it does go into some detail and if enough people take it (I’m thinking 400 – 500 school aged youth) then it will be enough to garner statistical significance and with this knowledge perhaps an HIV/AIDS outreach project that makes sense can come out of this. Wishful thinking I know. But we’ll see and when something happens I’ll let you know. Till next time.

I suppose I need to post something about what I’m actually doing and things that have been going on in my life other than almost dying of the most deadly disease in the history of humankind.

First and foremost, I have a puppy. Yes that’s right, everyone’s favorite cat person has a dog. Go figure. I was walking on my village main street about two months ago trying to have a logical conversation with the village drunks at around 8:30 AM with a few notable responses from me going like this:

-Yeah man, I live here. I work at the home based care

-Yeah 2 years is a long time indeed. But still a lot shorter than you’ve been here no?

-Yeah I’m from America

- You are actually the first person that said I look like I’m from Japan. But I’m not of Japanese origin.

-It’s a country right below China. You know like below the right side of China. On the Pacific Ocean? There was a war there in the 60’s and 70’s?

-Okay, you know how people from Mozambique come to South Africa? Then they have children and those children are born in South Africa and they all stay there for the rest of their lives? Well things like that happen in America too. People from other countries move to America and have children and then live there for the rest of their lives.

-Yeah crazy, can’t believe you didn’t think about it like that either

-Alright man, you should probably lay off the booze. It’s freaking 9 in the morning for God’s sake, and speaking of God you’re late for Church.

-Don’t go to church? Well you’re the first South African I met that doesn’t, was wondering why you weren’t begging me to go with you.

Man I love this country! Anyway so after talking to a few of the drunks on a nice sunny morning I saw it. It because I wasn’t sure if it was male or female yet, I was like 40 meters away give me a break. The puppy was just sitting in the road and about 5 cars almost hit it. I tried yelling “Move B*#CH! Get out the way!” It could have been a female at this juncture but in the end it was a he. I was able to pick him up and move him to the side of the road. He smelled like crap, was covered in dirt, and I would need at least 4 hands to count the number of ticks I found in him. I tried looking around to see if there was an owner around or something. I tried to give him to someone but instead everyone screamed in sheer terror and ran for their lives. When I say ran for their lives, I mean people literally ran about 25 solid meters away from this terror causing beast. I mean this small baby animal was maybe the size of my foot, I think going around screaming in terror is a bit of an unreasonable reaction. But hey, I guess I just don’t understand the culture of animal fear, some cultural relativist I am huh. No one was around to claim him so I carried him back to my house, gave him a bath which he absolutely loved (not) and pulled the ticks out of him. I gave him some milk and some other stuff I found that I thought I could give him. I gave him one of my bed sheets and now that is his permanent sleeping sheet.

He’s definitely grown a bit. I feed him puppy food now instead of bones and stuff. Him throwing up all the time seemed to be an indicator that his stomach wasn’t handling the stuff too well. My bad. I gave him the name Jobo which means loin skin cloth (you know those one’s you see the African tribes wear on the discovery channel that is made of animal hide and only covers a little bit of the guy’s junk?). One of my nicknames amongst the PCV’s here is Jobo so I essentially named him after me (Just accept that that is one of the nicknames I have down here, don’t ask questions).

He follows me around all the time now. I take him on walks around my town which is pretty large so I have yet to see all of it. I told my neighbors that I had a new dog and this sweet old lady told me, “Remember to beat him, so you can beat the anger out of him.” Hmmmm… Sound logic coming from the lady that thought the blue on the map was land. I think I’ll be alright. Dogs are seen as evil down here in South Africa. People say, “I hate dogs because they bite”. Well if you are constantly trying to beat the anger out of dogs and they’re still biting then perhaps you didn’t beat the dog hard enough ya know?

People see me walking with my dog all the time and they are constantly amazed. He doesn’t bite people, he’s not killing the chickens, and when I play fetch with him the kids are no longer scared and want to play too. Maybe Jobo can be the dog that breaks the stereotype that dogs are evil. We shall see in due time.

Are we human? Or are we dancer? @#$@@# don’t even start with that song I swear…

This post may seem long, but bear with it; it’s an important one to me. A lot has been happening at this good old site of mine. I have so much to talk about and I really am about 6 blog posts behind. But I’ll get to all of that. So for now let’s talk about something crazy. Something so crazy that it will make you say, “Dear sir, that is indeed out of the ordinary” Out of the ordinary indeed it is old friend. Let’s get to it.

Can you feel it? Can you see it? Sometimes you can even taste it. What is that you ask? That my friends is the feeling of your own death. And that feeling is something I like to call malaria.

Fact: There is an old saying that goes, “That $h*t could only have happened to Tran.” (Tran being me, my surname silly pants)

Stat: Until today, the last case of malaria amongst Peace Corps South Africa volunteers was in the year 2001. Meaning it took 9 years for malaria to infect another volunteer. And you guessed right (as if you didn’t know where this was going), that South Africa Peace Corps Volunteer was me. Looks like that $h*t that could only happen to Tran happened to Tran again.

Malaria, a disease that is in the top 5 when it comes to morbidity and sickness around the globe. I mean they dedicated a part of the Global Fund to battle this disease! And I’m not talking about the wannabe malaria wimpy stuff like Plasmodium. Vivax that strain of malaria can only make you feel like you have a cold (or cripple you for life, but let’s pretend like it’s nothing for the effect yeah?). Boohoo get over it. Nah man I got the real stuff, Plasmodium. Falciparum the one strain of malaria that is badass enough to kill you. I know what some of you are saying, “Why didn’t you take your anti-malaria pills!?” That’s the thing, I was taking them! Come on, you know those things are never 100 percent effective but are only like more effective than zero percent or something like that you know? So I guess I had an unlucky roll of the dice. Take this memory and put it into your pensieve (Harry Potter reference, seriously?). Because it’s story time!

It all started a few days after I got back from Mozambique. My arm was itchy from all those stupid mosquito bites. But whatever mosquitoes happen in every country so whatever no big deal. I had some serious diarrhea issues that week. I’m thinking no big deal, every Peace Corps Volunteer gets serious diarrhea issues every once in awhile, just part of the job. So of course that’s not a sign of malaria. A few days later I’m walking around and my back and spine are feeling really sore and is hurting a little bit. It’s understandable. My bed is a piece of crap that offers no back support whatsoever. A day later I started walking around my friend’s village and I notice my body is starting to cramp up pretty crazy like, not just my legs but every muscle in my body. I really haven’t been drinking a lot of water in the past few days and I guess I’m not in the best of shape so of course my body is going to get fatigued and start cramping up about 45 seconds into our walk. Once again definitely not a sign of malaria right?

That’s when things started getting a little strange. I’m talking “a person like Sarah Palin was close enough to becoming Vice President of America strange.” Once again a couple of friends and I were walking around and suddenly I see my friends in nothing but t-shirts and I say to them, “How are you all not freezing right now?” And they look at me like I’m crazy since I’m shivering uncontrollably wearing a hooded sweatshirt on a beautiful gorgeous day with the temperature being around 85F. Then about 5 minutes later I had to take off my sweatshirt and said to my friends, “Oh man, it is soooo hot out here! How are you all not sweating?” 5 minutes later I say to everyone, “God it’s sooo hot…. But now I’m freezing!” So I have to throw my sweatshirt back on again. My vision started getting a little blurry and I was starting to feel delirious so my friends suggested that I head back to my village and get some rest. I agreed and headed back home which wasn’t too far away.

This is when stuff went down for serious. I went to the clinic and they diagnosed me with the illness. That illness was malaria. I called Peace Corps and they told me they would pick me up and take me to Pretoria for medical care. The clinic gave me a few pills and I went home and I lied down in my bed alternating between uncontrollable sweating and uncontrollable shivering. Every time I tried to walk to my toilet to throw up I almost fell down from being so delirious and my body being so cramped and fatigued. Every time I coughed it felt like someone was punching me in the sides. The next time I went to the bathroom it was to go pee and I noticed it was not the normal yellow color but it was a red viscous fluid. Peeing blood? Kidney failure… I went to lay back down hoping Peace Corps would come soon. As I laid there time started slowing down, every movement becoming slower and more significant, and I could actually feel my energy and even my own life force leave my body. I started seeing bright flashing lights every time I blinked and suddenly the world faded into darkness.

I awoke to my phone ringing. I picked it up and heard the following sentence in a Spanish accent, “Hello Alex, my name is Dr. Luis Valiente I will be your doctor how are you feeling?” I thought to myself, “Holy crap, I have passed into the netherworld, I really am dead, and God is Spanish.” Turns out I was not dead but the Peace Corps medical officer was visiting from Paraguay and he was kind enough to come and pick me up personally. He checked my vital signs, Blood pressure 160/97, resting pulse rate 135 beats per minute, temperature 40.1C (around 104F, just 1 more degree and the death of brain cells start to happen). He told me, “Alright, we’re going to the hospital.” He gave me a couple of pills and an injection of some kind. And we headed out to Pretoria. He was a really talkative person and very curious about life here in South Africa. I tried the best I could to keep up conversation but eventually I just passed out.

I was admitted into the hospital and I gave them the best urine sample ever after they asked me do you really have malaria. I peed into the cup a dark red viscous liquid, handed it to them and said, “What do you think?” The people at the hospital tried to put an IV in me. But they said that I was absurdly dehydrated. Yeah if you weren’t peeing water anymore and were actually peeing blood I bet you’d be dehydrated too, can you do something about the absurd pain in my sides? After pricking me over 15 times in different parts of my body (They even tried the veins in my foot, I tell you that is not fun) in an attempt to put an IV in me they called it quits, turns out my entire vein system was collapsed at the moment and there was no backflow of blood anywhere to be found. They gave me more pills to swallow and injected a few things into my buttocks, and told me to hope for the best. Thanks for the positive words of support doctor. It was around midnight when the medical team left. I had never felt so fatigued or delirious in my entire life. Once again I felt my own life forces leave my body, and I finally felt it. The feeling of your own death. A true helplessness as every ounce of energy dissipated every time a red blood cell burst inside you. Feelings of loneliness and abandonment as you lay there alone to die. This truly was the end. It was at this moment that I thought about all the things you learn in school as an International Health major. You keep hearing the stats, malaria, over 100 million people infected a year, 3 million deaths annually, millions more severely crippled for the rest of their lives, indeed one of the most terrible diseases on the planet. But back in those days those were just numbers, statistics to memorize for the next test. That was then, this was now, a solemn realization that you are now one of “them”, just another statistic of Sub-Saharan Africa to be written down in the record books. You can learn all you want about something, but you never truly know its suffering unless you experience it, unless you have it, unless you live through it. I thought about all the people who died, all those who suffered from this. I was in a top flight hospital receiving top of the line care. But what about “them” what do they have? What options are there for “them” except to suffer and die and feel the loneliness and abandonment? Something changed that day. For me it was the day that knowledge turned into empathy, and knowing turned into understanding.

I woke up in the morning. You know what I say after a long night of drinking, “If you wake up you win!” So I think it can apply in this situation as well. I was feeling better. The hospital staff gave me a cocktail of pills over the next few days and just like that. All better. I was discharged from the hospital after 3 days. I stayed in Pretoria for the next few days under observation just to make sure I didn’t go into relapse or have a recurrence. None of that happened and after my final blood and urine test (no longer red viscous fluid but your normal color urine) came back clean I was free to go, free to live, free to do whatever I please and that’s what I shall do for the rest of my days.

Prologue to blog 11: Wait isn’t this blog 10? Whatever I don’t care. Is it just me or is it a rule for every peace corps volunteer to have an African baby in their facebook/whatever type of social networking site picture? I’ll try to have pictures up from this recent Mozambique trip on either facebook or picasa or whatever so be on the lookout! (If I have enough in data in my internet data bundle that is at the end of the month to post them that is).

Ah. The end of lockdown.

Definition: lock•down n.

"A period of time in which peace corps volunteers are not allowed away from their sites for the first 3 months of service. This includes not travelling outside of site. Hence the name lockdown as in we cannot leave the immediate area. Peace Corps claims it is not a period of “lockdown” but it is called “cultural integration” in which volunteers must integrate into their villages/towns/townships and become one with the people and place of work. I can see their point of view and why they would call it that, but if they are to be synonyms then I prefer the first term since that is what it is anyway. Why try to make it sound all pretty."

Yes my friends we are now free to travel, go everywhere we please. Is that last statement at all true you ask? Nope, but I like to believe it is. I and a few friends of mine went to Mozambique. (If you’re gonna start playing that Bob Dylan song then at least put some headphones on. I’m not saying I don’t like the song I just want to enjoy the serene beauty of what is more or less a tropical island in Africa). Indeed Mozambique just made the list! (of most beautiful countries in the world, let’s slot it at number 6 shall we? New Zealand>Laos>Vietnam>Italy>Cambodia>Insert here)

First stop: Border Crossing. The South Africa – Mozambique border crossing is officially the sketchiest border crossing in the world. If you like nothing but confusion, people swearing if you pay them they will get you across the border easily even though you can just walk up to the customs office and buy a visa from the right authorities, 12 different places you need to stop in, mysterious forms that need to be filled out, then this border crossing is the place for you! Do it to it!

Next stop: Capital City! I met up with a few people in Maputo (capital of Mozambique) who were already there. It’s a city that has quite the charm to it. Run down shanty towns, 5 star hotels within walking distance of slums and poverty, streets called “Mao Tse Tung Avenue”, cover charges to bars and clubs worth 1/10th of your monthly paycheck or at least 1/10th of my monthly paycheck, maybe 1/1000th of yours :-), negotiating/bargaining the price of food and drinks (yes that includes beer if you're into it), people screaming "CHIINNNAAA!!!" (at least people didn't mistake me for an Indian salesmen, we're at least getting closer geographically), people walking with you for 6 blocks nagging and begging you to buy something and might as well be screaming “stuff for sale, bad cheaply made stuff for sale!” right to your face all the while the cops sporting ak-47’s on their shoulders who are more than willing to shake you down for every cent you got by claiming “you made a mistake” and blatantly ask for bribes and even though you know they’re lying and you didn’t make a mistake, but what can you do anyway so just give them the money, oh yes, that’s Mozambique. I’m not saying that type of stuff happened to me or did not happen to me or if it happened to someone else or did not happen to someone else, all I’m saying is that stuff happens. Ya dig?

Next stop: ROAD TRIP!!!! from hell…. Was more like an amusement park ride. They claim there is a highway going from Maputo to Tofo. Highway, yeah sure, well I guess if you consider the Oregon trail a real trail and Curling to be an Olympic sport then I suppose this was a highway. Yes a 2 lane highway (both lanes going in opposite directions) with potholes galore with nothing but bumps and the driver attempting to dodge them to avoid your hubcap from flying off but it does fly off anyway and you have to walk in the pouring rain into the bush to find out what happened to it, that makes you want to scream, “wooo put your hands up!” Was about 8 hours of that, good times.

Next stop: Tofo/Inhambane. A beach on a shore in Africa near you. Good to be on the beach away from the jibber jabber that is Mr. T and his cronies trying to sell me stuff on Vladimir Lenin Street in Maputo. That’s until you hear them, not just hear them but see them too (didn’t I go through this before) the sites and sounds of people screaming, “Stuff for sale bad cheaply made stuff for sale!” Great more of these guys, I wish I knew the Portuguese phrase for “Sir, F@#$ off!” Such is life. The beach was great and it was good to be in great company which made it more enjoyable. The water was nice, the sand was nice, the open air markets were nice, the weather was nice, the atmosphere was nice, the resort was nice, the restaurant food was expensive for the quality meaning it wasn’t that nice, but you know what I’ll take it. The really cool part is you can buy fresh seafood from people and take it to a restaurant and they cook it up for you. Now that was nice. I wish I could tell you that I did my food shopping in open air fruit and vegetable markets but that is just not the case, so we were able to do a little bit of that in Mozambique on top of getting suckered into buying tapestries (don’t ask how many I bought, it’s embarrassing, but know that I bargained them to the death, thanks for the skills mom). At site in South Africa I get to do my food shopping at a grocery store, boo to that. So to some up the Mozambiquan experience in one word, nice.

Stop in the next stop: breathing under water. I was fortunate enough to do some scuba diving with another pcv friend of mine. Pushing a boat off the beach into the water and jumping in it while it’s moving is pretty fun, just make sure you make it inside or well, have fun staying behind. I also forgot how easily I get sea sick, I don’t want to say I puked about 20 times over the course of 3 boat entries (screw you these are really small boats, we have to jump in them while it’s moving okay!) but I puked 20 times over the course of 3 boat entries and 3 different dives, but it was all worth it because let me tell you scuba diving here was a absolutely amazing. The marine life was fantastic filled with Nemos, Doris (Am I seriously calling them that, man) and other really colorful fish. But one of the most amazing sites ever were the manta rays. About 8 sightings of them which is an unprecedented amount. It’s possible that we just saw the same manta ray 8 times (very unlikely), but who cares it was beautiful. I’m not a man who gets all bedazzled by the power and majestic nature of the world, but I’ll tell you this, I was bedazzled by the power and beauty and majestic nature of the world. There was one manta ray that had about an 8 meter wing span. Do you ever see those old western cowboy/samurai movies in which the old cowboy or samurai walks into the sunset never to be seen again with younger people walking in the opposite direction as him. Well it was one of those types of moments. The 8 meter wing spanned manta ray fading from the little sunlight we could see with thousands of colorful fish swimming over and under it was truly a sight I won’t forget for a long time.

Next stop: South Africa. It was a great trip and I love Mozambique but I also love South Africa and I’m glad I’m back at site, because you know what, it’s good to be home.

“Used to imply that AIDS is a contagious disease that is treated differently from other contagions or entails benefits not available to those suffering from other contagions”. Did I seriously just put a definition in my blog? How lame is that? And it’s not plagiarism because I’m citing it. (Answers.com) Well semi-citing it at least.

So I finished my “meet all the learners in the schools in which they learn” tour. (Here in South Africa they call teachers “educators” and students “learners”). 6 schools with about a thousand each, that’s a lot of learners in which I will have zero percent chance in learning all their names. Let me give you the run down of how it went. There is usually a morning assembly for each school, for announcements, having students give speeches or some other type of propaganda, prayer (which I am frequently asked to give, and one day I might just do it and it would go something like this: “Yaey and God said to Allen, ‘Man we ain’t even talkin’ bout da game, we talkin’ bout practice man!’ Amen.” Youtube “Allen Iverson Practice” and you’ll understand what I’m talking about), and introductions to Crazy Chinamen/Indian salespeople. The principals of each perspective school said I was allowed to introduce myself at this time. So here we go….

Me: Sonibonani (Hello all)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Ligama Lami Ngingu Sibussiso (My name is Sibussiso)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Ngibuya…. (I come from….)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHA

Me: Ngibuya emeli…. (I come from Ameri….)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: (I politely wait, for the laughter to die down)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: (holy crap I cannot believe they are still laughing)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Ngibuya emelika (I come from America)

One Learner: Unemanga, ubuya eChina! (Liar you’re from China!)

Rest of the Learners: HAHAHAHAHA

Me: Ngitawuhlala e($%^#@ $) 2 iminyakha (I will stay in [insert my permanent site location here] for two years)

Learners: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: (Come on hearing a Chinaman/Indiansalesmen/mlungu/foreigner speak your own language seriously cannot be that funny.)

Me: Ngisebenta e#$#$@#$@# Home Based Care ne Ngitawusita bantfu na HIV/AIDS ne TB (I work at #$#$@#$@# [I cannot say where I work on this blog or the Peace Corps will kick me out. Come on, I’ve told you this] Home Based Care and I will be helping those people living with HIV/AIDS and TB)

Learners: (Laughter stops, some mumbling at best)

Me: Uma nine nibona mine ne nifuna kucela umbuzo, bese ngicela nicele mine, ne ngitawuzama nine. ngiyabonga. (if you see me and you want to ask a question then please ask me, and I will try to help you all. Thank you).

Learners: (mumbling and small talk amongst themselves, no one is laughing anymore).

Me: (Not gonna lie, that was a bit nerve racking.)

A word so powerful that it literally silenced a thousand people with the mere mentioning of it, that word is AIDS. So let’s backtrack a bit to the phrase “AIDS exceptionalism”. Why is it exceptional? Why is it so exceptional that it even gets its own adjective as indicated by the fact that when I type exceptionalism there’s that red squiggly line under the word indicating that that is actually not even a word. Why must everyone talk about it so differently? Why or how could it strike such fear into people? I mean after all it’s just another communicable disease right? Why should it be treated any differently? You look at the some of the most deadly diseases around the world and AIDS doesn’t even crack the top 4 (maybe even the top 5) of diseases that cause the most death and sickness around the globe, but is easily the disease that has the most money spent on it and has the most people advocating for its end. So why then? Is it because all the bureaucrats got it wrong? Or is it that AIDS is something the world has truly never seen? So while diarrhea may kill more children a year than AIDS, we know how to stop it, while this disease HIV/AIDS has even the most brilliant minds stumped as to what to do. I suppose HIV/AIDS is different as it is disease that doesn’t just kill, but discriminates. Instead of receiving help those persons are shamed and cast aside like lepers that become something to be shunned and forgotten. Branded as whores or prostitutes people scream “it’s their fault that they are bringing down society”! So all people can do is run and hide in the hopes that no one will find out that they have it if people haven’t already or live in fear that they themselves may have it, but would be too afraid to admit it. Call it a fear or perhaps a solemn understanding, that if you get it, it will be the end of you, and that is the perception that is here. People know what it is and they know how to prevent it for the most part but it is not spoken about very openly. Such is the fear and the stigma of it. Is there a mentality of “It can’t happen to me!” Well not exactly, but there is a mentality of “what can I do about it?” I’ve said before that the prevalence of HIV/AIDS in this region is estimated to be around 30 percent, I was wrong it is 40 percent and that number will only rise. AIDS may not be the number 1 killer in the world, but it is here. And with the death toll rising, the fear and stigma will only get stronger. Perhaps one day the kids here will believe there is something to be done or rather they can do something about it. And with more and more young people coming up and asking me questions about HIV/AIDS, I feel that day is coming soon.

So when I think of AIDS excpetionalism now and the debates that raged in the classroom of whether we as the future public health experts should be focusing on other diseases as much as AIDS I will now think back to the almost deafening silence I heard here at those schools and I realize, such a phrase “AIDS exceptionalism” has no meaning here.

Who’s the best attacking player in the world?

A. Lionel Messi

B. Christiano Ronaldo

C. Ricardo Kaka

D. Gianluigi Buffon

If you said D, then you’re just silly (he’s a goalkeeper). And don’t say B either. Just don’t.

Want to know the consensus amongst South African soccer fans to the above question? It’ll shock you but it goes a little something like this: Sem Venuti fin qua! Sem Venuti fin qua! Per vedere segnare KAKA!!!! (It’s Italian, yeah yeah, Zulu, Italian what’s the difference, and don’t say plenty, because I know that already) That’s right Ricky Kaka (yes, haha, get it out of your system, “kaka”, real funny) Not only is he a beast and has the magic ability of making Manchester United defenders crash into each other, but he just might be able to pass the “could he be a South African test”. Question 1: Does he love Jesus? He once talk off his jersey after scoring a goal and had a shirt on that said “I belong to Jesus” so yes. Question 2: Does he believe in the inclusivity of diversity? He’s seen as a white person who plays on a Brazilian team who are mostly dark skinned, so that has lots of appeal in the post apartheid era, check on that. Question 3: Would he be able to outlast you in a drinking contest? If you were drinking liquor and if he was drinking water and you didn’t realize he was, then yeah, sharp sharp. Last question: Would he be able to discipline women when they fall out of line? He smokes Inter Milan defenders who are more or less little girls as a way of teaching them a lesson so on that spin yes. See he’s an awesome player and might as well be a South African.

They were playing a team whose manager is one of the best tacticians in the world. They had 3 of their best defenders out of action. Their best player plays with his left foot but writes with his right hand (seriously how does this happen?). The bets are in. Manchester United are 9 to 1 favorites to defeat them in the Champions League final. It seems so clear, can’t you see the future? A team brimming with confidence after a 5 – 1 aggregate defeat of one of their closest English rivals in the semi-finals and another team who was only there on a desperate last gasp chance at the death. And what happens? MANCHESTER LOSE HAHAHAH!!! EAT IT FERGUSON!!

Man what a pointless and hateful paragraph.

Soccer mania (and yes they call it soccer down here rather than football) has overtaken South Africa. It’s kinda crazy. The Champions League has finished and South Africa’s favorite team has been defeated. Wait why would they be excited about that? Well…. I’m not sure; I guess it’s just me who’s excited. But never fear the next tournament is on its way! I have seriously underestimated the appeal of international soccer to some people. And when I mean international soccer I don’t mean just Spanish announcers screaming “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!” for 47 seconds, I mean different countries playing each other. You might think I’m talking about the World Cup and I guess I am, but no, I’m talking about the Confederations Cup beginning 13 June (or something like that, I don’t know, get a tv guide or something) held right here in South Africa. The festival of international champions. I thought this was some joke tournament, but apparently it is not, as the attending teams are bringing their A sides out to dance. In retrospect, 7 dollars to attend a game now seems like a good price. Perhaps I should have gotten tickets, but seriously we all know New Zealand is going to win. If they do then I will look like a genius. Let’s hope they don’t suck! But more importantly let’s hope the South African national team, also called Bafana Bafana (literal translation: boys boys) don’t suck or then I’ll have some very angry people to contend with.

Oh well, But don’t worry, I got my international soccer saved up for something special, something magnificent, something so crazy and funky it makes you say, “Damn! That’s funky!” I may have mentioned this before (but I probably have not) but I did it. Yeah “it” (not sex you pervert) I got tickets to the World Cup!!! WOO!! Take that establishment! Everyone said I couldn’t do it, or there are too many people trying to get them you won’t get them. Who are these people? Well I guess no one technically said that, but whatever… shut up! Capetown, Pretoria, Nelspruit, Johannesburg, 4 weeks, 9 games, 4 cities = Alex Tran’s wild World Cup adventure! Chance of being mugged: very high, but chance of awesomeness: would be really high, if not for the very high chance of being mugged, so I guess I’ll put it at very high as well rather than another level of highness. But I may have to sell some tickets because people that are coming to visit during the World Cup want to go on safari. Oh boo to safari. All you do is see a bunch of animals. You can easily see animals at the zoo while caged in a totally unnatural habitat as they slowly go insane while plotting their own escape or suicides for being stuck in a 20’ x 20’ square deemed “similar to my real home back in the jungle”. Come on, that would be a lot more rewarding I think. Anyway, tickets are selling out fast, at record pace according to FIFA. Better cross your fingers and hope we’re out of a recession by that time because money may be hard to come by and you might not have enough money to get to South Africa. Ah but remember the normal soccer fan is more than willing to sell a kidney to see their favorite teams live, if you’re not, then you ain’t livin.

Till next time

Think you can fight a protracted battle in this type of environment? Come, let me fill you in on the details. If you put things into perspective, you’ll realize whoa some things be crazy.

I want to know what happened to the water. We haven’t had water in this house for about a month now. It was alright because my host father would gather water in a bunch of containers from the local watering hole a few kilometers away in his truck. I was cool with it through week 3 until I realized, dude this is frickin ridiculous. It took me awhile to realize that I was taking baths once every 6 days. I’m as whack as anyone but that’s just nasty. How could you blame me? I need that water for drinking. The surprising part is no one complained about it. I guess I don’t sweat as much anymore and people are just used to people not bathing around here. Huh go figure. Maybe the coca cola company forced the water to shut down so all the people would buy coke and soda from the local shops who knows. So what about the people around me. Let’s put things in really simple terms to give an overly simplified perspective. I won’t go into really deep details, but think about it a bit. Doctors say oh you should wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, before you eat, and I read on a pamphlet somewhere that you should wash your hands after touching yourself in dirty areas, I’m not kidding that’s what it said. Then I think, with what water? You could use those alcohol based solution things. Buy them with what money? I read somewhere that you could stop 99 percent of all communicable diseases if everyone just washed their hands… all the time. I guess I’m realizing, easy for you to say. Most people do wash their hands regularly but if you think about it. It shouldn’t be a trade-off. If I drink this water then my hands will be dirty or if I wash my hands then I will be thirsty. I guess we just got pwned by microeconomics 101 and it said, “there is no free lunch biotch”. Let’s not even talk about why there aren’t any gardens in the village.

The area that I am in is one of the most impoverished areas in the country. I have heard numbers indicating how high the unemployment is. I hear things like the region has a 60 percent unemployment rate, or even a 70 percent unemployment rate. Some people took it up a notch one time and said there was a 81 percent unemployment rate. Then I asked, “you gave an estimate with a non-rounded number?” He then said it’s because he liked Terrell Owens (his number) and the Dallas Cowboys were his favorite team. I proceeded to not talk to this person for a week. Whether this official unemployment or if it excludes people that are self employed I’m not sure. I’m sure the official number is a lot lower, but come on, if you’re estimating over 10 percent, it warrants a WTF.

It is rumored that the HIV prevalence rate hovers around 30 to 35 percent. I have heard numbers that could be higher. Just ponder that for a minute. Put yourself in a room of 100 people and the chances are the person on your right is going to punch you in the face, or have HIV maybe even both I don’t know. This is a staggering rate, a crippling rate, a (insert adjective to show how dire and serious the situation is) rate. It’s a tough tough situation for everyone here to be in. And with no answers coming anytime to soon, it may get worse before it gets better.

I was given a chance to visit some of the schools. I walked into one school and tried to set up an appointment to meet the principal and the receptionist came out and yelled, “What are you selling!? We don’t want to buy anything from you!” You could only imagine how shocked I was. I politely explained who I was and tried to convince her that this crazy “Indian” (apparently I’m straight out of Mumbai) guy just wanted to tell some of the kids he was a peace corps volunteer and indeed was not an Indian salesman and after awhile she allowed me to visit the principal. They say that a classroom should be no larger than 20 students or it is at risk of overcrowding and the teacher cannot be effective in giving students the one on one teaching they need. If any of you went to public school, you would know this. So what would you say if I told you that the average classroom size of these schools that I visited was about 50 students each with one teacher to teach them? How do I know? I counted and each class had no less than 40 students in it.

My town is lucky enough to have a clinic. It is pretty sweet since there are a lot of people here that have ailments that can’t be easily fixed (HIV/AIDS and TB to name the two big ones). I remember shadowing 2 orthopedic surgeons for 2 weeks when I was studying abroad in Australia. I always remembered the exhausted look on their faces at the end of the day. The 2 of them together saw on average a total of 60 patients a day (30 each). According to some health professionals you really don’t want to see more than 15 patients in one day or you risk being burned out, and you actually don’t spend enough time with your patient to assess their situation. You know what I’m going to say and I’m still going to say it. The clinic in our town has 7 nurses, 4 of which are not allowed to consult patients directly by themselves (Nursing assistants I take it, probably take vital signs and things like that), and no doctors. Want to take a guess at how many patients they see in a day? If you guessed over 150 you’d be correct. Crazy, the 3 nurses that are allowed to consult patients have to take in about 50 patients themselves a day. The clinic is open for 8 hours. 60 minutes in an hour makes 480 minutes in a day divided by 50 equals just a little under 10 minutes per patient (not factoring breaks or lunch). Confound this by a few factors such as lack of education or health literacy among patients and you realize, dude it’s just not enough time.

I think the people that actually read this entire thing are getting the point so I’ll stop here. What can we do? How can we stop one thing leading to another? I might have some ideas I’d be willing to try and I guess we’ll just have to see if they do anything.

Later

What are some things that are stereotypes about Americans here in South Africa? It would be easy for me to just list off some details of the things I have to deal with but that wouldn’t be fun now would it. Let’s try a little role play action. I’ll have two people talk to each other. In this situation I will draw inspiration from the movies. Because in South Africa the most accurate portrayal of American culture are movies and tv shows and not actually the actual Americans in the country itself. Goody us. So today we have our favorite American movie characters so well known to the typical South African teenager, the protypical ebonics speaking black man and the Asian dude who doesn’t speak English. Typical dumb white girl, really douchebag white jock almost got a role, but such is life. Role Tape!

……………………………………….

AHHHH! You thought I was actually going to do a dialogue. Haha. I wish I could, but you know how fast the Peace Corps would kick me out? Gotta watch yourself these days man. The situation in South Africa is not as bad as I made it out to be, but it can be that way sometimes. I think just discussing some stuff in a simple manner is a good way to go. OOHHH so the “N” word is a bad word, or OOOHHH so Asian people do speak English, and OOOHHH not all Mexicans are gardeners are some of the responses I’m getting. So it seems that some of the people, especially the younger people, are learning a little more about America than what they see on television. Sorry if any of these were offensive to anyone but these are the things we as Peace Corps volunteers have to defuse. And I’m just letting you guys back home know. That I got the situation under control. Or I made it worse I don’t know, we’ll just have to find out.

“And the lord said, Vote for Jacob Zuma and the African National Congress!” Preacher man, seriously?

Let me ask you a question, Do you feel so empowered by the power of Jesus flowing through your veins that you have to take to the streets and sing and chant in the name of Jesus!? Well I personally have not, but don’t let that stop you if you have. So I decided to go to Church this past Easter weekend. I wasn’t sure if it was Church, a chorus concert, ANC youth rally, or what, but let me tell you, it was something that’s for sure. At one point everyone is up dancing and singing in a language you were supposed to have learned during training, but you have no idea what is being said, and then the next minute you’re hearing from the preacher about how Jacob Zuma needs to be the next president of South Africa and the African National Congress will continue with the development of South Africa you can understand I was a bit confused. And when everyone started piling out of the Church to flock into the streets to sing, dance, and run down the street in the name of Jesus the only thing you can do is run with the crowd too, because if you don’t you gonna die, and you can’t move to the side because there is nowhere to go. And when you almost get hit by a bus, but you don’t, people screamed “it’s because the power of Jesus saved you!” I personally believe that it didn’t hit me because I decided to step out of the way, but hey, just do what is that it does, and in the end everyone is happy.

So work is alright too. So everyone is told to come to the office at around 8am, because that’s when the office opens. There’s only so many days you can come at 8am and be the only one that is there on time and then realize that maybe you can come a bit later. So I came at 8:20 the next few days and still I was the only one there which makes me say, man and I thought Asian time was bad… The days at the office have been pretty tame. Researching the numbers, financial records, donors, network and partnerships, statistics, and other things that the organization has compiled over the years ain’t glamorous, but I suppose it must be done. I’ve been teaching some of the workers how to type and use Microsoft office. It’s been alright. You might now say dude, you could be doing so many more things than just this. I know, just bear with me. Every single peace corps volunteer, including the ones that are considered to be the hot shots have all said don’t do anything outrageous for the first 3 months, observe, learn stuff, learn how the game is played down here, and meet people. Some said that they’re biggest regrets was that they pushed things too quickly. So I intend to keep it this way for now. So don’t get your panties caught up in a vice and cry when it gets tangled up in a knot. Everything will fall into place very soon. At least I hope…

I like to take a small walk after work. Go into an area that I haven’t been in before. It’s a pretty area, very easy on the eyes (minus the extreme poverty that fills me with deep sadness, but that’s why I’m here I guess). So as you walk, or in Siswati they say “ngakoke wena ushaya moyo” (so then you beat the wind, if you want a direct translation) everything is great until you see them. Not just see them, but hear them too, the sound and sight of little kids running circles around you screaming at the top of their lungs….. “CHIIINNNAAA!!!!” Alright seriously this has got to stop. So I try to explain that I’m not Chinese, I’m Vietnamese. It’s a big difference, I mean not so much genetically or culturally technically, but screw you it’s different okay? So what do you do about this? Do you yell at them? Do you get mad? I can only deal with this the only way Alex Tran can deal with this (yeah I speak in the third person, big whoop wanna fight about it?). I speak to them in only Siswati. Talk about the weather, about school, what you’re doing here, and not speaking one word of English. And they stare back at you in sheer shock. And suddenly they run out of things to say. Or maybe they really just don’t understand what I’m saying because my Swati really isn’t that good. So being satisfied I walk off knowing that that group of kids is alright until I hear another group of children, but this time they yell, “Mluuuuunkuuu!!!” (Did I spell that right?) Which is the word for white person or foreigner, and I do the exact same thing I have a polite conversation with them in nothing but Siswati. It works, but I can’t go around doing this forever. I gotta take these kids to the rack. Dunk on their faces as they actually thought they could stop me from driving through the lane and taking it to the basket. I went to the school. Walked into every single classroom and introduced myself to every one of the children. It was great fun, and now most of the village kids actually call me by my given South African name “Sibussiso” which means gift. A name like “surprise” probably would’ve been more appropriate as in, “Surprise this Chinaman is actually from the United States of America.” So I suppose I learned a lot. That this development thing isn’t just about doing stuff, it’s about getting people to trust you. So I’m hoping the next couple of months I’ll be able to have the opportunity to get to know the community and have them know me as Sibussio and not that mysterious foreigner who is here to take our jobs. I was going to right more about the professional challenges I face or the problems I see every day that is detrimental to society and the system, but I’m getting tired. I’ll do that next time. But I’m good stopping here. Later.

So a couple of things have occurred since my last post. I’m pleased to announce that all Siswati language learners passed their oral language exam for the first time in the history of Peace Corps South Africa. Take that establishment. Amazing really, the training area in which we are stationed in doesn’t even have Siswati speakers. Tis a true testament to what good teaching and teamwork can accomplish. Sitting in a room for 30 minutes talking in a language that has clicks in it and one that you have yet to hear naturally outside of the classroom to a person that you don’t even know can be a bit nerve racking.

Training has officially ended as well. No more learning about needs assessments, internalized oppression, marginalized populations, ngo’s, the development field, culture and why women cast spells on men to make them buy data bundles for their internet phones among other things, income generating activities, learning about what kind of learner are you, and other things. Not that learning about those are a negative thing, I’m just saying, no more learning about them. Ya dig?

Can we now cue the song “It’s so hard to say goodbye”? The end of training means no more of the other volunteers around you anymore. No more waking up to house music you swore you were hearing the night before and then you realize you did hear the same house music the night before because it never stopped and it was actually the same song that has been playing on an 8 hour loop. Gotta love living near a village bar yeah? It means no more of your host mom filing official complaints with the peace corps as to how I don’t make the bed in the morning. Sorry ma, it’s just not me, come on I’m just going to mess it up again. Same with bathing, I’m just going to get dirty again right? Okay I bathe, but there’s only so many times you can do it with a bucket and say “yeah I get it, you actually can bathe in just 2 liters of water and be pretty clean, and those with showers have been wasteful this whole time till you come to the realization that even though it saves the fish it’s sure as hell tiring.” I’m going to miss my host family. They will be my original South African family forever. It’s interesting to see the bonds that are created so quickly in such a short time span (say 2 months or so). They’ve taught me a lot of stuff which will be useful in the coming months. But now it’s time to move out and do what we were assigned to do.

I was officially sworn in as a peace corps volunteer on Monday, 6 April 2009. Wait I put the 6 in front of the April instead of after it. Yeah yeah I know so un-American, because evidently the entire world does it instead of the U.S. Oh well stuff happens. It was pretty uneventful. I swore to do a bunch of stuff like work to the best of my abilities to uphold the constitution of the United States of America. Weird I know. Government protocol I guess. The day after I was sent off to site which I was never so happy to go to a new place in my entire life. Signals the start of something new I guess. It’s different. I live in a compound that is not a part of the main house in which my host family would have stayed in, if they were ever home. The town is a much larger one than that of the training site village. I guess I’ve lost my sense of community. But hopefully I will regain that in due time. I finally did my 1st official day of work which included helping sort out financial statements and taught people how to type and use Microsoft word so they would be better prepared to do grant work or help them manage files better. It may not be sexy and glorious, but hey it’s a start, and if the basics can’t be done then you can kiss the rest of it goodbye. I also now have regular access to internet so I’ll be posting more regularly (that is if I don’t get lazy) so keep checking up on this, if anyone is actually paying attention that is. Till next time people, I’ll try to have pictures up and running on this blog site and on facebook so get excited, or disappointed.

“You can get HIV/AIDS from a mosquito.”

a. Strongly Agree

b. Agree

c. Disagree

d. Strongly Disagree

But what about a neutral option you ask? Think about this one, you’ll get it. I have faith in you.

So we finally found out our site. And all of us were even lucky enough to visit their individual sites and home. I will be stationed out in Eastern Mpumalanga in between Mozambique, Swazi Land, and Kruger National Park. Say these two syllables with me “Jack-Pot”. Now travelling to these countries will only cost me a certain large percentage of my monthly allowance (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say how much I make, but let’s just say you probably make more than me in a day then I do in a month) rather than a larger percentage of my monthly allowance. Hip Hip Hooray x3.

Before we did our 1 week site visit we held a supervisors workshop somewhere in eastern Mpumalanga. Everyone got to meet their supervisor and/or counterpart and we got to learn how their organization works/functions/what they expect out of us/what we expect out of them/break dance battles. It’s going to be sad leaving all these other silly peace corps people behind. They were a cool bunch but such is life. It took about 5 hours total worth of travelling to get from where we are now to where I’m going to be stationed. We ride in these things called “Kumbis” in Siswati their called “ikumbi” for the singular and “emakumbi” for the plural. You probably think whoa that’s silly and although I may be inclined to agree, I say just accept it. They are just very large taxi vans that fill up the entire van with people, every seat must be filled no matter where you’re going. Just hope when you hop on one of these that there isn’t a baby in front of you that pooped in its diaper, a guy sitting next to you that has never seen soap before, or the person on the other side of you swore you were Jackie Chan. I’m all for being Jackie Chan, but come on dude seriously? I’m about to throw up here, you can at least open the window.

My town is pretty sweet. It’s semi-urban and near the mountains. It’s a pretty place with some pretty decent views. The weather is hot as hell even though they claim it will be winter soon. It seems my stay will be a bit different from most other peace corps volunteers. My family that I’m staying with has electricity, full furnished kitchen and bathrooms, and satellite tv. I know what you’re thinking but think of it this way. I’m not here to live out my romantic fantasies of living in some random hut in which I am pitted against the elements in an everyday struggle that I may or may not survive. I’m here to work. I’m here to do a job. I have a pretty cool supervisor and the home based care unit that I work at seems to have its stuff together, or at least as well as an underfunded organization can have its stuff together. I do not know the full details of the organization (or if I’m even allowed to post the details of the organization or if I even want to) so I will talk about it more in depth when I learn more about it. The entire district is split up into several parts. Each home based care is in charge of an area and they have workers that attend to the needs of various patients in that area in the patients’ on home. If they are in need of greater medical help then they are referred to the clinic/hospital which may or may not exist. I will be helping improve the capacity of such an organization. I am pleased to learn that the home based care I work for works has partnerships and a good referral system with other organizations. They partner with hospices, orphanages, food kitchens, social services, and others. I will see what work needs to be done in the near future.

My host father is a retired school principal and my host mom seems to be a department of education hot shot who is in charge of hiring and managing teaching staff in the region. They have 5 children but all are grown up and have left the house. I take walks around the town to get acquainted with the area and the people. I’m hoping the novelty of having a “Chinese” person around will simmer down and the people around will realize “hey this guy is serious about staying here for 2 years let’s stop gawking at him from the side of the road.” Hopefully that day will come sooner than later as well.

Blog 2

Prologue to blog post number 2 goes as follows. Did you actually know that they made an apartheid musical? There’s this one scene in which all these little kids are getting shot at by a bunch of white dudes and the kids turn around and bust out into song and dance. I can’t really explain it except that every time someone hits me I scream, “Sarafina!” and dance everywhere. I’m glad that made sense to all of you reading this.

Holy snap I’m finally here in South Africa and now putting up my first blog post in this country! Okay so maybe I’ve been here for 35 days or 5 weeks, but seriously who’s actually counting? I’ll start off by saying the people here are actually pretty cool. There are 25 peace corps trainees in this group, 7 of which are men, 2 married couples, a person over 50, 2 African Americans, 2 of Latin American descent, and a Vietnamese guy. Oh wait that’s me. Hooray for diversity. One dude says he’s Russian but he grew up in New Jersey so he doesn’t really count. We are all “CHOP”(Community HIV/AIDS Outreach Program) volunteers. We work with various NGO’s to help out with problems in the communities we are staying in. When we get out of training that is. Rumor has it the peace corps reads these blogs and if they see something they don’t like then I get a one way ticket back home to America. So these will be pretty tame till I see what I’m allowed to write here.

We’re currently in our 5th week of training. What’s training like? Other than listening to a bunch of people drone on about mission statements, how community outreach is all about sustainability and empowerment I guess it’s okay. We don’t get that much free time. We have language classes starting at 8 am, everyday. Yeah including Saturday and sometimes Sunday. It’s been cool though. My team of Siswati learners (the language we are learning is Siswati, one of South Africa’s 11 official languages. It is also the official language of Swazi Land. The language is also called Swazi) have worked diligently to master the various lisp sounds and clicks. There are 2 types of clicks, one is a soft click and the other is a real hard click in which you have to make the “kah” sound while clicking. So try it with me “c” which is actually kind of a kissing noise is for the soft click and “ch” is the harder click (remember to get the sound “kah” every time you do the hard click or people here will just think you’re silly.) So say the sentence “Cha Ngicolisa, Ngicela chama. ” (No, I’m sorry, may I pee?, at least I think that’s what it means or things probably got a little awkward) 5 times fast. We definitely have the youngest group. There are 5 of us, 4 of which are straight out of college. A pretty solid group in my opinion. There are 3 other languages that are being taught: Setswana, Sepedi, and Sizulu. Swati is very similar to zulu (the most spoken of all the native languages in South Africa) Swati is spoken primarily in the eastern parts of South Africa close to Swazi Land.

After language classes we usually have some sort of cultural session and practice all things that are respectful. In other words if you buy a beer you have to chug 5 of them, if you don’t go to church for five hours a day then you’re going to hell (or purgatory at best I hear), and if something bad happens to you it happened because a witch bewitched you. Okay not everyone believes all that but hey it could happen. We hold our training sessions in a place called Marapyane somewhere in the state of Mpumalanga. I hear this state/province/whatever you want to call them has the highest illiteracy rate in all of the country and it also has the 2nd highest HIV/AIDS rate in the country. Crazy stuff. After we have our training sessions we usually go on to some technical details such as how you run a proper needs assessment of your community and organization, blah blah so on and so forth. And afterwards we have language again. Yeah 2 language sessions a day pretty much every day doesn’t make Alex Tran a happy and cultural relativist Peace Corps trainee.

We finally go home around 5 pm. I’m staying in a homestay in a small village called “@#$!$%^*”. Not sure if I’m allowed to say the name of the village, so first one to decipher that gets a prize. It’s a nice little village. Estimated population of 100 or so people. My host mom is pretty cool, she helps me out with some language homework despite not speaking the language that I’m learning. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that out of all the language groups we’re the only ones in which their host families don’t speak the target language. Whoopy, we’re on the fast track to ace this language examination I’m tellin ya it’s gonna be crazy. I have a host sister who is away at college. She has a daughter around 1 ½ years old and I also have a host brother aged 29. They’re all really nice people so everything has been great so far. The people around the village are pretty nice too. Sometimes I have a hard time explaining to people what part of China I’m from (you know that province called “Northern Virginia”). And that I don’t know the numbers to next week’s Chinese lottery drawing. My Swati teacher lives near me as do the other Swati trainees so we hang out a bit. I could write more, but I’m getting tired. So I’m peacing out. We discover where we get permanently placed next week. So I’ll post that when I know.

So here it is. My first ever blog for my peace corps South Africa adventure. I've read a lot of blogs by peace corps volunteers and they're all mushy, sad and sometimes just silly crazy that makes you wonder, hey, you's being silly. Many of you may know me and it's best you read this blog while imagining that I'm talking to you. So be prepared to be inspired, confused, happy, sad, mad, to laugh, and maybe to just downright be offended by my existence in general. So enjoy!

Ah this is it. Finally going to the country of Africa. That will be country number 17 according to my facebook map. I always thought Africa was a continent, but Sarah Palin told me that it's actually a country, and I believe her. So many thoughts to wonder, so many things to ponder. No seriously there's a lot to think about and I finally realize why Barack Obama sutters all the time. I think it's because he has so many thoughts and ideas running through his head at one time that it's impossible to formulate them into words at a rapid pace.

For 27 months my job description/title is "HIV/AIDS outreach volunteer". People ask me what that means all the time. I don't quite know what to say, or maybe I do know what to say but they just interrupted my game of madden and I want to get back to playing so I tell them my job is to tell kids not to get the HIV. And if you really think about it, get down to the nitty gritty, throw out all the mumbo jumbo confusing stuff, it kind of is really that simple, a goal that even though can be muttered in a short sentence, there are thousands of obstacles. And here lies the problem. As we all know humans are political beings. That's not to say everyone is politically active but at some point you're going to come to the conclusion that there are things that you agree with and disagree with, things that you think are right and wrong and just by simply deciding you become a political being. And that holds true for the battle against AIDS. You'd think that something so dire and terrible that everyone could be united on the fact that we should all tell kids not to get the HIV. I think we all want to say "ah snap I just prevented little Jimmy's white cell count from taking a major dive by showing him ways to prevent the transmission of HIV". But looking at the bigger picture nothing is free, and there will always be arguments as to how we should educate, who should we educate, where do we get the money, what to put the money into, do we try to put all funding into finding the cure, do we put all the funding into prevention and education, is abstinence education only the way to go, should we be giving condoms out to 12 year old kids, or do we just inject money into our bloodstream while we shotgun beers and hope for the best? So many things to think about, but perhaps that's all outside my jurisdiction, because I'm still not sure what my jurisdiction is. I'll find out in a few days what I'm actually going to be doing and I'll tell you about it. You can read all types of books, read all types of articles on what goes on and what doesn't but I'm hoping of getting the real deal when I'm there and I'll see what works and what doesn't in my opinion.

As you know South Africa is the country with the highest number of HIV infected people. That number hovers around 6 million in a country of 48 million people and it makes you say "whoa 6 x 8 = 48." And i'll smile knowing you still know math. This can be extrapolated by the fact that half the popultation is under the age of 18 (or is it 25, I'm not sure and maybe this fact could be totally made up shizzle what) you could make the generalized argument that mostly kids don't have HIV, that instead of 1 out of 8 people having HIV, 1 out of 4 adults could have it. Scary scary. Now those are generalizations. I can list all the stats to you, but that would be pointless because you get the picture. Compound this by the fact that our dear friend Thabo Mbeki has quoted for such a long time that "HIV does not cause AIDS". But I think he admitted it does recently, so good on him.

My last day before I depart for my mission. Sad that the Gtown Hoyas couldn't get one win before I left. I blame Chris Wright for this one. with 13 minutes to go we're up by 2 you get the rebound and try to fast break against 3 defenders all by yourself? If I'm not mistaken we never retook the lead at that point. It's all good you're still the fastest man alive. Today hopefully my prediction of the Arizona Cardinals winning the Super Bowl will come true. I'm not a cardinals fan but you look smarter by picking a team out of the blue for no reason, so that will be sweet if it happens. People ask if I'm nervous about leaving. I say I'm more nervous about growing up. Because this is essentially what it is. I'm not a student anymore, no more teachers to evaluate you, no more mommy and daddy to say man you're getting fat, this from now on is all me, everything I do here and now is what I have chosen to do. No more being a toy's r us kid. The real deal with a bang. For everyone out there that I know from family to friends you will all be loved and missed. But it's a big world out there, and I plan on taking a look at it with my own eyes.

So why the title? "The Earth is Flat" it's because I'm now a neoconservative evangelical Christian transported from the 1500's to still argue that the Earth is the center of the universe! God told me to tell you that the only things liberals do is abort babies, and after they abort them they put them back in the womb to abort them again. OK not really. You ever hear of the McDonald's theory of economics? This may sound crazy but something so simple is so brilliant and that is, no country that has a McDonald's goes to war with another country that has a McDonalds. Seriously you say? All you globalization haters heed this, globalization brings peace, those we reach out to will have greater understanding of who we are, of who you are, and what we can create together. there is only one direction we can move now, and that's forward and not backward, upward and not forward, and we will always be twirling twirling towards freedom. Together the world can move in this same direction as if the world was flat, there is no going back. The world can be a better place because of it.

A final story for those of you that have actually read past sentence 4 (if you have i'm impressed) and something I'll always keep in mind if I have too many thoughts and too many mind. the great Nagasena, Siddharta Guatama Buddha's greatest disciple was having a change of heart. He was wondering where the Buddha's teachings were going to take him. He wanted to no more, how he got here, where did humans come from, what the meaning of the world's existence was, what the meaning of his existence was, so on and so forth. He came up to Buddha and said if you do not tell me these things I will leave you and no longer be your student. Buddh was puzzled and began telling a story of a man and his son (a doctor) walking through the woods. They were walking and the man gets hit by a stray arrow (just accept it as it is, I don't know why there are stray arrows flying all over the place) He's badly wouned but his son the doctor can save him, but the man says no, before you save me I must no all the things that went into this act. I must know who shot me, I must know what bow he used, I must know who made the weapon, I must know what his life was like, I must know... His son looked at the man and was like dude you like crazy dude. His son had no answers and the man died even though he could have been easily saved. So Buddha asked Nagasena, even if I told you how the world was created and the answer to all those thoughts you had, does that really change anything? Does that lay out a truth for you? Nagasena was silent. Buddha went on to say, or perhaps there is this truth, the fact that you are here. And what you do will define the meaning of your life. Nagasena stayed and became a platinum rap artist. take that Lil' Wayne.

so that's about it. Hopefeully it wasn't too long. And perhaps I'll actually get some useful information in the next couple days. time to pack now. later