yo! 5:30am. Peace Corps office... Usual getting into Asuncion from Concepcion. How I will miss these trips. Walked into the office door today and this, is probably one of the last early morning arrivals I will have. Nobody here, birds chirping, hell, if unicorns exists, they'll be chillin' in the patio. I could only imagine.

things are about to change, location wise in paraguay for me. didn't see it coming. just when i'm getting comfortable and settled in Belen. How I will miss that place. the river. the people. but who knows, this new one, that I don't know yet, could be, or will be something else too. can't really look forward yet. I'm still hurting.

gonna do a little pilgrimage then head back and move out.

peace!

respect. that´s all i have to say or what´s going through my head at the moment. i feel like i have to constantly remind myself of that with the kind of work i´m doing and with the people i´m sharing my time with here.

it´s getting stupidly hot and i can´t say i´m not enjoying it. there´s something about the heat of the sun, the fury, that get´s me all round up. the more you sweat, the more you feel like you´re living.

that´s all for now. there´s nothing and nowhere else i would rather be. i am where i´m suppose to be.

peace!

i was sitting in a meeting the other day when my mind went somewhere else and i came into this conclusion... i thought it was a good sum up of what's going on with me right now, at the moment, in this whole experience...

so this is what i say...

sometimes you have no idea what's going on. sometimes you have no idea what to do, where to put yourself, where you belong in the situation. this is the experience in this adventure. it's like being lost and finding your way back in. or sometimes, it's the other way around. it just works that way. sometimes, you're so found, you need to get lost to find out where you belong. you learn, you contribute, you are then formed. you then find out what you are made of. you then move on, you then continue... this is the peace corps, the life, the life you signed up for...

and i am in no way in bad terms of that when it came out of me. it´s the contrary. i´m loving every moment of this.

peace.

gonna make it quick... i'm still alive, content, and quite happy. just sayin'... going to a football game tommorow, paraguay vs. argentina and i'm pretty pumped about that. it's world cup qualifying, but really, just trying to show and battle it out who's who down here in the south.

i know i haven't been very good on keeping this up, it's hard enough to catch up, it's even hard enough to keep up. if that even makes any sense, but you get the point.

gonna cut it short. i'm in asuncion, early morning, tired, but inspired... gonna take a nap then do the things i need to do etc.. ie. send postcards, print some photos, send postcards... send postcards...

here and alive

have not really done any work here. still in training and we’re on our last stretches of it. we’re about to know our future site by monday and meet our contacts after that. in training, we’re still getting a background where a volunteer could be useful and do some work in the municipality. we’ve also done some trips and visits to other volunteer’s site. along with 3 other people in my group, technical trainer, and language teacher, i went out last week to visit a volunteer’s site for a week. i try my best not to get caught up on these visits on seeing or comparing what my future site would be. it’s hard for me to come in with any expectations, making parts of the big picture blurry. don't get me wrong, i did enjoy most of it. the travel, the observations, especially visiting a 100% sustainable cotton factory. to get a background and idea of how a volunteer live is a great experience as well. it gives me an idea of what I do or don’t want when it’s my turn to do my service.

my hosts family just keeps getting better and better. we’re all smooth sailing. they’ve definitely been supportive and understanding. the big event right now, alongside the usual everyday life, is the local football games. soccer here , is not only a PASSION. IT’S A RELIGION. from my little hosts niece to my hosts mother, they are tuned whether on radio or from families and friends visiting the house. my hosts dad is also the president of the league so you get all the logistics, the highs and lows of everything. the league is on its final stretch. everyone is now intense with the semi’s. this past weekend came one of the semi’s that got canceled because of the fear of the referees. colon, my family’s team of choice since their ancestors, thought that the other team paid the refs to screw the whole thing up. for the fear of the referees that a lack of police force to control a riot that could possibly explode if colon had lost, the sunday game was canceled. the refs did get their share. on the way out of the field, with a normal police escort, people we’re yelling and throwing their anger at them. people we’re nervous, frazzled, disappointed, mad. on that day, the whole ambiant of the family changed. i have seemed to appear invincible. not that i needed or wanted the attention, but some background of what's going on and to be inform would have been helpful. it was intense. it took some time to find out what the league is going to do and when and if to reschedule the game. after my family getting tuned to the local radio shows and getting updates from friends and family, the game was rescheduled this past wednesday and colon won the game 3-0. i didn’t see it, but when i got home, everyone was very happy. i was told that there were fights after fights after the game. i could only imagine what happened during it. so another game is ligned up for colon this sunday, and if they win, they’re in to the finals. the whole ordeal is amazing to see, to experience, and feel. my hosts family’s passion for the sport is definitely one thing i’ll miss when i move out of this community.

i must mention the importance of radio here. it’s impressive. almost every town have their own radio stations. people are in tuned to what’s going on around their neighborhood not from the newspaper or tv. it’s the one media by far here, where people’s voice are heard and said. the people control it. it’s like having npr, if not, better, on every community. if you want to know something, if you want to know whats going on, you turn the radio on. if you want to say something to the community, it is there where you say it. people listen to it. it’s no wonder that peace corps volunteers have used it to do some community grassroot work in their sites. it’s smart, it’s simple, and it works.

talking about media, let me just do some plugging. i'm reading this book right now that i found in our training center. the book is written by kalle lash, the founder of adbusters, and is called culture jam. i have come across that magazine and have enjoyed it when I was in the states. i highly recommend it. for the many valid arguements and interesting story in that book, there was one that stood out especially on how radio stations should work. since radio is such a big deal here, that point parallels with how the radio station business works here. Although not all of the radio statios here in paraguay are controlled by the people, there are atleast one, if not many, that are solely for the purpose of serving the people without anything being sold to them other than raw useful informations. i might not be accurate, but based on my observation, paraguayans put a high value on radio when it comes to information gathering.

What else is going on… here’s another, more personal story…

around 4-5 years ago, i was hanging out with a friend of mine at a bar in Richmond virginia and we were discussing about the characteristics of the united states. this is when i just got back from studying and traveling abroad. around that time, i was on my 5-6 years from having lived in the united states. so my boat, i wouldn’t say had just docked. after all those years, i’ve quite made my way into the american society. although, i would say that i was just really starting to break the barriers. i had some questions and my friend provided some answers. so the discussion was around how americans in the us likes criticizing and questioning its own country, its own government, its own people. i thought, at that time, it was crazy because on where i’ve been exposed to, people really don’t do that, for many different reasons... and if they do, they don’t really go further than just simply that. talking about it. so her response was like this, “it is what americans are good at. we question, discuss, argue, and talk about it, so we can do something about it and make a change.” i thought that was brilliant. as simple as that to you, i thought it was like having cracked a code. it was that mild revolution that opened yet another angle in me. if you think that that’s not an accurate statement, i would like to hear a different angle about one of the greatest thing which what the united states is great at. you can call it democracy or something else, but that concept stuck and i took it along with me. that was probably the best thing i took out, other than the many shots of whiskey, tiquila, and beers. to this day, i do believe highly in the ideals of the many people i’ve come across paths with in the country i’ve vowed to support and believe in.

that story came to mind just recently after having a discussion that went sour with a friend here in training. just to share some of my realities having been here, i feel its fair to let it out and let you in… the discussion was this, our mission being here encompasses three things; to bring peace, share american culture with other nations, learn from other nations, bring it back and share it to other americans. after 40 some years of kennedy and his buddies had this vision of a peace corps, i think the mission statement stays true today. although many things have changed in the past and a reconfiguring couldn't hurt it. anyway, i’ll take those 3 goals and take it a little further and share to you an example of what could be an american or a firsts world citizen in a different country. i was making a point, and i was only laying down some observations, facts, and realities, that paraguayans have already a slight advantage on us on our second point in our mission. american culture is not some kind of a secret that everybody else in the world is not aware of. having been the center of attention and having had the spotlight for the world arena to see, it’s really not that difficult to take a peak to the open windows of america. one example was this… i mean if michael jackson is not to and have represented american culture, then i don’t know what princess diana represented being… with all their mistakes, these guys have been hailed and prided by, not only their own countrymen, but especially other nations, for the great things they’ve done, humanitarian and other works alike… the point is that, information wise, flat out in our faces, pop culture or not, we don’t really hear anything about paraguayans or other developing countries everyday in the us. although not only in paraguay, we hear about the united states anywhere around the world. the media in our country as we know everything about that business, if not one of, is the number one export of the united states. another thing is that, when i drop the ball on how many countries the us has flexed its muscles on, drop their bombs, and spread their ideals, its not like these facts are in the top secret or confidential file. it may be a sensitive subject, but pretty much everyone in the world knows about that. It doesn’t take that much to be aware of that. i understand that to state this and to some could be offensive. but i'm not being anti-american here. what i’m saying is that we cant really run around thinking that we are far superior, ignore the other side of the coin, and that everything we do is great. for all I know, im learning here as much as people around me are learning from me. to go even further, my contributions here, as much as i put in, are probably far less than the impact this whole experience will have on me at the end of all of these. what i’m laying down here is my reality and it just happen not to align with somebody else. so that’s where the problem started… no bloods were shed or anything, but it resulted me to write this message. so i picked and lost that battle, but i’m not saying the war is over… maybe it’s just started.

it boils down to this. we can’t really be serious if we, as americans, or any other “firsts” world citizens, are, or wants to be around the world, believing that we are the greatest and baddest mother in this planet and can solve everyone’s problem. even if we can, would or should we really? instead, why not be aware of who we are, our greatest works and mistakes, what we are and aren’t capable and made of, channel it positively, take it further, and make things better not only for ourselves, but especially for everybody. that’s what we’re here for in the first place. i feel that it is our duty and responsilibity. for me, being here is to patch things up, make good with others, and prove that we know and can do better… not to the sense that we are better than others, but to the sense that we, as fortunate and privileged, as much damage has done, can and will continue to do great things even more… people outside of the united states already know plenty of what we lack of. there’s no need to hide that. it would be sad to think that we ourselves are not aware of it and i'm not saying or trying to dwell on it as well. i'm just suggesting not to ignore the fact, just raising awareness to realize our shortcomings. and as much as other people know about that side of what makes the united states, they also know and are aware of our greatest qualities… and to prove those great qualities, while we’re still alive, we should give ourselves a chance, do ourselves a favor and show it.

adjusting to people in training is harder than adjusting to host family or paraguayans alike... it's like having a culture shock on americans in another land... well it's not 'like', it is. i think everyone is on their adjusting mode, where everything is different, some things settle good, some dont, and some are just plain irritating, you cant change it, may it be things, situation, or people. everyone is a bit thin. thin in a sense that whatever you say or do will land like a dagger. well, maybe thats a bit of a harsh word. but whatever it is, there's a certain sensitivity level, or lack of it. unbalance, that is. everyone is thrown off and things just dont roll off, because you know that tommorow you'll be around them again. as some say, although i am barely coherent of it, it's like being back in high school in the united states. whatever that means. or maybe i should be a little bit more sensitive... maybe, hmmm... i don't know. i guess i am already in many way, but what the... sure, maybe i will, but i think the best thing is just to laugh it off, take it as a joke, and make the best of most of it, take it lightly. all i'm saying is that you cant really take it seriously, you cant also really take it personally. everyone is going through something extreme, same level or not. but even that, sometimes, its easy to be misunderstood. so i guess i'll just go back to just laughing it off when taking it as a joke doesnt work...

at this point, i'm more looking forward on meeting people in my group (or whoever is going to be close to my future site) when everyone is done with training and settled in on their site. maybe, just maybe, or not maybe, this is when you really meet people showing true colors. not that they're not now, it's just that everything that comes out are stains or bad color, sometimes, most of the time, really depends on who you talk to. no one wants that. i can be hopeful, but meeting people on their normal self, normal environment, would be a great treat, if chance even permits. i do like everyone in my group, i see what i like about them, and i see what i dont. its just a matter of tolerance and where you want to concentrate your energy on. everyone shows the good of them, but everyone, anyone, as we all know and if you can give me some lineancy, has their own flaws as well. so all you can do is accept all of em. the beauty of it is that we're all on this together. that might be a bit of a wide statement, or maybe i just care enough, maybe a lot. it could be a weakness, if you want to see it that way. whatever your take on it is, i'll be here for the long run of it... some also feels that theyve had enough, as sometimes i have as well, but for now, since you cant get away from it, all you can do is embrace it, be with it, and make it all your own. the way i see it, the more you resists, the more it will kick you back, and hard. i dont want to have to look back on this saying i just hate everything... thats not really me, so i'll take the other route.

at para sa mga nasa pinas, dito sa paraguay, parang diyan rin. meron nga sigurong mga maliliit na pagkakaiba, pero pareho lang din. problema sa gobyerno, mabagal na buhay... kabisado na natin to. kaya nasin talaga kung gusto nating baguhin ang takbo ng buhay natin. kaya eto, parang puhunan ko na rin to, para sa susunod, kung maari, ay diyan naman ako satin. yun ang balak at panalangin ko, magkatotoo sana... ipagdasal niyo na lang po...

but on the other side, american side that is, and for the sake of this experience, here's a little suggestion to those who are thinking about getting in to the peace corps, or to those who got in already and doing your research on getting ready... expect on dealing with different characters when you get to training (peace corps volunteers have as much differences as they have with similarities). in close proximity, in forced situation. i didnt expect that this first 11 weeks was gonna be like this. tough, as it naturally should in many levels, not because of the job (not that im an expert), but because of the different characters there is in the group. and if you experience training differently, if all of the people in your group manage to all be considerably and reasonably happy, then consider yourself lucky. also didn´t expect at all that we'd have a training, but its the first thing you should concentrate on getting through, may it be in a good way or a bad way. for me, i thought we were just gonna be briefed then get dropped off on our site. that right there, thats what i was ready for. i didnt really expect that it was gonna be like this either. well, i didnt have an expectation at all. i kept it open, as i think i should, always will and always do, and couldnt have done it or known how else to approach it any other way. so this is what i bargained for. overall, with all the good and the bad, im content with it, if not a little more. we have a little bit of 4 weeks left i think, then off to our own individual world. so here's the final stretch... for now, i'll just have to continue, endure it, enjoy it, own it all... let it pass, let it go. everything on it's on time... you collect your winnings, you cut your loses... if you want any other input, not just with training, but with anything, i'll be more than happy to let you know...

now that i'm here, i'm getting the real sense of what the peace corps is really all about... whatever you think of it is, whatever you heard of it is, for me, with all of my run-ons and everything that goes along with it... it is really what you make of it, all of it, all the best and/or worst of it.

here's a rundown on the sights and happenings, some of it, while having been here for the last month.. enjoy!

what many of the roads looks like...

this is very typical on the streets of paraguay...

and this one, this road could take you straight down to buenos aires... only 16 hours away... the other way...

the art of terere/mate...

un equipo de terere... that's what they call the set to enjoy this beverage... you got your thermo (thermos), bombilla (straw, made of metal), guampa (cup, made of metal, sometimes with wood on the outer core, or good old horn), and yerba (your grass)... you can also throw in some yuyos (herbs) for medicinal purposes...

a typical circle (drinkers m.i.a.)

Paraguay 0 X Chile 2

here's where we get our vitamin c throughout the day these days...

they're all over right now, here's an example on the back yard of our training center/home...

ezi short for eziekel, drinking terere with my host brother...

host pops working it...

and these are the people whose been taking care of me... my hosts family.

''el mercado', vamos a comer!' - my host sister said. I thought that was funny... if you get the play on word...

im catching up so heres a summary of the last month.

ive been here for a month now and im gonna try to squeeze my brains out of memories these past four weeks. i'll do highlights, then maybe the big picture. if i forget anything i'll try to come back to it later on...

our first week was a success, i managed to makee it, as i planned, to the paraguay/chile game on our first saturday with a bunch of new friends from my group. (we call it G-30, for we are the 30th group in our training facility). i also managed to immerge pretty quick, which got us 5 tickets to the game. my host brother got his connections so we got down on getting those tix. although paraguay losts, it was a hell of an experience. jumping up and down, signing side by side with nationals... on the way home, since the next week after is the classic rival game between 2 major teams (cerro and olimpia), our bus got asaulted with a flying beer can from the back. being a cerro fan, our driver, or atleast by having cerro sticker on his bus, olimpia fans hit the back window as a target. next thing you know, all you hear is glass breaking and shattering. being in country for only a week, that got us thinking... youd consider rivals are normal, but to be hostile like that might take a bit more of getting used to. olimpia ended up winning that game on the following weekend, but cerro seems to be turning out to be the champion on this final days of the league.

things ive gotten used to on my first week here are also terere, mate, and how nice people are. how social it is here in paraguay. people will share you what little of it they have. and its nice... its very nice... ive noticed the similarities of culture i have with them, between philippines culture and paraguay... the sharing and caring with space and everything... i guess it was also why i managed to immerge better and quicker... i feel very comfortable here... felt like being back to somewhere ive never been before.. although thats a bold and true statement, its also true that there's much more to learn...

going back to terere, for some who hasnt heard of it, its composed of a lot of yerba, cold water, and all day of drinking.. well, almost all day... but since its been fairly cold, my host family and friends from training have been busting out mate here and there... im not so sure or rather cant quite grab the words to explain it, but ill put up a picture one of these days here... i guess theres really much to say about it, you just have to experience it.. people huddle around and talk about anything, while you pass around the drink... one of these days, once i get to my site, i'll probably end up buying an 'equipo' as they call the set for drinking terere and mate...

ive also ate lots of fried goodness food... lots of empanadas, mandioca, and more fried foods.. they're big on that here... my favorite though ,although ive had it only twice is the chicken joint by the road here... ive been to a lot of places with roasted chicken, but this place, this place i tell you, is mind blowing. something about the herbs that they put there, its called something amazing... my first time was a total roasted chicken orgasm and then some.... it was also the time when we got back from the paraguay x chile game... jimmy (my host brother and I) ended up there... being the local celebrity that he is, we got a treat for roasted chicken, churizzo and some lengua (cow tounge). it was. amazing.

talking about my hosts family. im probably one of the luckiest there is landing on one of the most amazing family... there's che sy, che ru, ha che ermanos... all potei of them.. (ive also been picking up guarani, the national language along with spanish) che sy, my (host) mom, is a house wife and takes care of the family, che ru , my (host) dad is a motorcycle mechanic... he picked up a very lucrative business being on the ruta. motorcycle is one of the biggest indutry in paraguay, and also the biggest reason of mortality not only in paraguay but in the world... so he fix things, chill, drink mate... a very guapo guy. (guapo means hard working here). then ther's my host brothers and sisters.. got 2 bro and 4 sis.. 3 of my hosts sisters are profesoras so that helps me a bit both in guarani and just major paraguay topics in general... one of my hosts sister just had a baby maybe two weeks ago so the house is full of love and excitement, although my hosts mom has been restless...

i was saying... it will be an expensive june for my hosts family.. because its celebration after celebration... father's day, emilio's (the new baby's father) birthday, and the baby's birthday... but hey, there's always asados to kill... asado is by the way, grilled meat and when there's a celebration, you bet it will be on the table...

thinking of celebration, when i was doing a visit to one of the volunteer, i experience the whole big thing.. on my visit, it just so happens to be the birthday of the intendente's (mayor's) mom so they had the whole shebang... alcohol, roasted and grilled meat, classic dance and music...

other than all the fun things, im pretty much occupied with training... and the days goes like this(unless there's special event, like angelique's birthday, which looked like a quinceria), i wake up at 6:45-7:00am, but really around 7:15am, shower, get ready, sit and have coffee or breakfast with hosts mom or/and dad then go to language class at 7:45am... its about 5 minutes walk away... we have a class til 11:30am, i go home, hang out eat lunch then go to class at 1:00pm again... afternoon is all tech class where we learn all the great wonders of tenchinal skills for our future projects... its like learning how to be a ninja, preparing for upcoming battle or war, but not really... i just like to throw that out there... then we finish at 5pm,i go home, hang out with the family, eat dinner, watch tv. lots of tv. tv is a big part of the family here... then go to bed, wake up and do it all over again.. i throw in some reading here and there, and some other activities...

speaking of activities... i first time played football or soccer with my hosts brothers and friends last thursday.. it was in a closed court, 5 on 5 astroturp or however you wanna spell it... had a great time and looking forward to do it again... not really looking forward for jimmy yelling at everybody, but hey, i can dig it, soccer or football as they or we like to call it, can get intense... other than all of that, at the end of the day, its all a great time non the less... i might not be a ronaldinho or kaka, after this.. but i should hope to pick up some skills... (sucks by the way the us lost from brasil).

well what else.... our group takes trips here and there and i think we'll be doing lots of it these coming weeks.. cant wait for it... hopefully i'll pick up more new and interesting things and experience bigger and bolder places, events, and whatever you want to call it...

i'll put some picture up once i get to it (won't say it again, i promise) but i'll rest here for now and get some dinner...

peace!

for more than a little bit of 3 weeks now that I´ve been here in paraguay, i decided to start one of this thing. i´m usually bad at updating it, but i´ll do my best to keep it fresh. i figure it´ll be easier to tell my tales from here, than the random e-mails, which i´m pretty bad on sending as well. so here´s to the first entry (and i´m behind already)... watch out!