I'm so glad to meet a pretty queen like you on facebook.................. how are you Dear? Hope you're fine and good? I'm new on facebook and I'm looking for someone whom I can correspond and get seriously in love with, also to be able to have a good chemistry between us and be able to compliment each other.............. so Dear if I'm not writing to the wrong person cos I really do think that together we'll be fulfilled if we take this chance. I'll be happier to hear from you soon or you can call me on +2299963**** or email me on getonme***@y**.com. Take good care of yourself my Queen.

NB: I live in Porto novo, incase you want us to meet.

B**

Work on your game tip number one:

Hello, nice to meet you and serious relationship should not be in the same breath. It is scary

Part one Beninese perspective: They say the darndest things

There are two types of people white and black.

White-Everyone that is not black. That includes Americans, Europeans, North, East Africa and most of southern Africa, Arabs, Asians and anyone not from Benin.

Black-People, who are black but darker complexion, can not speak English and eats pot from Benin maybe Nigeria, maybe Ghana or other parts of West Africa again I stress the maybe.

Women

• Must be wearing earrings

• Must have a couple kids

• Be married

• Be able to cook two different kinds of pot

Wealth

• Have a car or motto

• Thicky thick

• And dress nice

• 2-4 cell phones

Me: I am American who is black, what?

Other: You are white/clear

Me: I am not white

Other: no no no you are crazy you don’t know what you are talking about

Other: You are white?

Me: No I am black but I am an American

Other: What but your not Beninese or African so you can't be black

Me: ERRRR….

Part two: American perspective: If only you can hear yourself

Hi

How are you doing

and your health

and your kids

and your travels

and your work

and your kids

and your life

and your shoes

and your nose

and your ears

and your house

Good work

Good sitting

Good cooking

Good nap

Are you here

I want to go, eat, drink, take

no thank you

I do not want a husband

no I don’t have kids

What are you doing

What happen

bye

It takes something as simple as being aware of the worlds wonder to realize how bless you are and even more privileged when you got the opportunity to experience them. Most people I live around have never gone more than 50 miles from their home town. Wait that kind of sounds like America. Ok most people could not afford even on a good day to go further than 20 miles from their hometown or to be a couch potato watching discovery channel. Not to say that people don’t have TV’s here some do but it is on for a few hours a day usually a horrible French/Spanish soap or the news.

I was sitting in the house of the American lady who lives in town as she was talking to her two Beninese colleagues. She had a world map which I happen to be looking out while they were speaking. One of the guys asked to show him on the map where I was from. I pointed to the center of California. That sparked the discussion of the large body of water that separates the two continents and the different climate in the US. It was their first lesson in geography outside of the classroom. It is funny a lot of subjects are taught in the schools but critical thinking is not one, the kids here learn how to memorize in a very robotic way and but could never answer the question why.

I have a few kids come over my place to help them with their English homework. I get infuriated when they are forced to learn English words that are not used in everyday life. That they can read learn to read phonetically but could not respond to a simple question. Learning in this country is a problem because things and lessons are not animated.

July

I had staging in Philly and hopped on board for one hell of a crazy Peace Corps experience.

August

Went to training school with the rest of the trainers and got divided my sectors. Lived in Porto Novo with my Beninese host family and got acquainted to myriad of new information. My host family was awesome and it was a pleasure to live with them. I even got men tissue which is matching outfits with the family. Overall, this was an exciting and stressful time.

September

This marked the ending of my training and was sworn in as a volunteer. I moved to my post and unpacked.

October

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING! This month I tried not to see any other volunteers and stay in village. I did not understand what anyone said and/or why they did things. My frustrations were high and I ended up seeking help from other expats in town. That how I met the RPCV who has been living in Tanguieta for 10 years. It was good timing because she is never in Tanguieta. I spent a lot of days sitting around her house over hearing villager’s conversation about their issues as I try to make sense of the French. Found ways of entertaining myself.

November

I felt more adjusted in town. Had some friend’s places I would go to and sit. “Je faire rien,” sit, sit and sit. I went hiking in the mountains a few times and swimming in the waterfall to cool off. I tried to do a few language sections but I found that the people I was asking to help me were not go teachers. The guy who was originally supposed to show me around became MIA so I had to think of other work partners and ideas. I got help from German volunteers in town and they help me find my current work partner. Had an awesome thanksgiving dinner with other volunteer in the regional capital. Then I got really sick for a week to later find out that it was malaria.

December

Got on a bus to Cotonou which is the countries capital. The bus ride was an experience in itself. It was ten hours ride with no air condition, jammed pack( with people, animals and things), seemed to stop everywhere and I was sick. The funny thing is I looked and felt like death and a guy still try to hit on me when I was descending off the bus. Way to go, get me when I am defenseless. Beside being sick I really enjoyed my time in Cotonou. I went grocery shopping in like a store and met up with a friend that studied in Amsterdam with me. Once I got my appetites back I ate every where I could. I never passed up a time to eat meat. I went back to post a little gros than I left and my town seemed to prefer a meatier Cara, lol. Christmas in Natittingou my regional capital and New Years in Parakou. After Christmas a group of volunteers went on a Safari trip.

January

After arriving at post I started meeting up with people for possible project ideas. I did some English and French translations. Did random things here and there. When to a training session in Porto Novo for a week. But the most notably thing was my first trip out of the country to Dubai.

February

It was a chill and good month nothing too notably. It started to get hot.

March

I spent most of the month in town hanging out and doing small project for the safari park. At the end of the month attended the GAD fundraiser, wellness retreat and it was all fun.

April

I traveled down south two times this month. Once for sector training and the other for training on becoming a trainer once the new volunteers. Normally, I would hate to move around but my town got so hot at this point that I could not live there without going insane. I spent most the month in bed and with no energy. Something was growing in my stomach that missed up digestion system and eating habits. I spent a lot of time analyzing my stool samples, yea fun.

May

It was a tough month in the beginning because it was still very hot when I got back to my post. There were times I looked like the hulk ready to take someone head off because I was annoyed with the heat. I could have cried when the first rain falls hit my tin roof. Met up with people in town and worked. Towards the end of the month I packed to get my things ready for South Africa. I also went camping in the hills with some volunteers.

My hometown is not shy of hot summer days. I could remember coming back to my car after staying at a friend’s house for a few hours. The car got so hot that I would turn right back around and stay a few more hours until the sun went down. I was still never convinced that I needed sun block, well that was until I got to North Benin. I still not an expert on the level of sun protection for my skin but it seems the higher I go the more it leaves my skin looking ghostly. The sun here during the hot season could cook your skin alive if you let it. It also directly influences your mood and emotional state. For the most part I was very short an irritable; I have never felt such heat before in my life. Ok, I know that the stereotype of Africa is that it is hot well it does get that dam hot here unlike most other places in the continent that do have more seasons then hot, rain and hotter.

I did everything in my power to avoid staying in the house under my tin roof and into the shade under a mango tree. Luckily, I was spent a month during the hot season in the cooler but humid part of Benin or trying to have a reason to visit someone in an air condition office. But no matter what I tried to do during the day nothing not even my fan could give me leniency during the hot summer nights. I laid there in the heat that was collected from the day’s sun and fought to get a full nights rest. Headaches and dehydration happen a lot. Drinking a galloon of water was not optional. The hot season in Northern Benin is damn hot. And the whole community can bond in having to bear the three months of the unbearble heat.

Dubai is a city in the U.E.A located south of the Persian Gulf. It is a city that offers the largest, widest, longest, greatest, richest, tallest, coldest, hottest and 7 star hotel. Its economy was once rooted from the oil industry but now majority of their income comes from tourism and real estate. Most of the population seemed to be expiates from other parts of Asia and Europe. There is a high Indian population and that was the same ethnicity of jeeper’s creeper. Putting jeepers’ creeper aside Indians attract great food and the best textiles in the world. Ok, I am bias because I love Indian food, textiles, dance, music and outrageous bollywood movies. It was so nice to see sky scrappers and diversity. There was diversity in food, people and entertainment, gosh everything. I was even surprise to see that most places did not have a dress code. That means high fashion, to skimpy youthful dresses all the way to the most conservative Hijab.

My friends and I spent our week catching up and playing tourist. I spent most my time admiring the skyscrapers and scenery of the city. It was nice to hang out by the beach, eat good food and have a dessert safari. We spent a great amount of time near the Dubai mall because it is connected to the aquarium, The Burj Dubai (new tallest building), a water show that is guess what bigger than the Bellagio hotel in Vegas, great restaurants and air condition. The mall was a great place to go shopping because everything was on sale. I am a Capricorn that like quality but a good bargain. I did not get to crazy just got shoes with foot support for my pancake feet and a few items at H&M. I wanted to get some stuff at the Souk Market which is a street market with exported goodies from India. But on a PC budget I had to only get things I needed.

We spent some good time of our trip planning because there was so much to see and do. We did not get to it all but really we needed to be there way longer than a week to see all the city had to offer. I had to admit my favorite part of the trip was eating at the buffet in the Atlantis hotel. I ate as much as I could. Can you blame me I am living in a country that is not big on diversity in their foods, a buffet equal a kid in a candy store. The appetizers, main courses and the whole dessert bar looked good. Unfortunately, my stomach did not allow myself to eat was much as I wanted. The aquariums were nice and peaceful. The Buddha bar had an awesome ambiance. The Burj Al Arab Hotel was not what I expected for being a seven star hotel. It was pretty inside but the decor was a bit blend for my taste. I am guessing that they got extra rating for their service because the people working in the hotel were very helpful. I did not see the rooms so my opinion is only coming from what I did see and that was the main areas. The night life reminded me of clubbing in Vegas. I can explain too much why but it just felt that way.

While we were exploring the old historical part of Dubai we found an art gallery “Majlais gallery.” Most the art work there was good but I liked the contemporary work from Emily Gordon. She used multilayer deep color paints with a touch of gold and silver. Her art work was visually stimulating and cool. Lot was seen and done in that week but those are some highlights.

This would appear to be the first blog I wrote in 2010. The truth is that I have made many attempts writing my thoughts down this year. I was able to start a few good sentences but it never formulated into a finished thought. This is partly because I moved to a different stage in my Peace Corps experience or life; a stage that could not be expressed well with words.

I wish I could explain the overall experience I am having in Benin. I have concluded that it is impossible to convey the roll coaster of emotions into words. Sometimes my attempts of explaining my experiences can be very exhausting because I know not matter how much I try the story would always be incomplete. It takes an open imagination and a high level of patience to understand where I am at; that is only to be expected since it took me close to six months not to see this place as an outlandish land. Things are still strange and ways about doing simple task are inconvenient but they are now how I live out my day. I am content, confused but above all frustrated. Before I go in a deep rant about my frustrations let me update you on what I have done so far this year.

I went to Dubai for a week and met up with some good college friends in January. It was the first time that I left Benin since arriving here in July of 2009. I felt very “villagois” when I arrive in the Cotonou international airport; which is the size Long Beach, California airport. I got onboard the Afriqiyah flight 8U 0726 to Dubai with a layover in Tripoli, Libya. The plane was nice and had great food. I sat next to a little boy who was flying alone. I felt so good when I was able to help translate his needs to the people working on the plane. I was kinda nervous about the three hour layover in Tripoli because I heard mixed things about the airport treatment towards Americans. Over all the experience was good. The airport was small and not the greatest but had any real problems. Make sure you if you ever take that airline that you have ALL your visas stuck taken care of because it is not a place that I would want to be stuck.

The flight to Dubai was CREEPY. It was mainly men on the plane and I happen to sit next to a real creeper, eeeerrrrr. I am upset even thinking about it. I wanted to move badly but it seems like he was traveling with a large group of other creepers and when I went to the bathroom to eyeball another seat all my option did not look any better. So I decided fight of creeper number one. I am not going to go in details but I did have to threaten him with the pen saying if he touched me again I was going to jam it into his hand. He knew he was on creeper status and that kinda made him back off. Anyhow, I did not get any shut eye on that flight and believe me I was exhausted.

To be continued…

This was the first time that all business volunteer in my PSL came together since becoming volunteers. We spent a week in Porto Novo doing business related sessions in the day and hanging out at night. There were other sectors there and it was great to catch up with some people I haven’t seen in months.

All it took was some campaign in my system for me to celebrate the countdown to 2010 peacefully asleep. I was always told to celebrate the New Year by how you want to project the upcoming year to be. With that being said, what does me being asleep for the first hours of the New Year mean. I guess the future could only answer this question but perhaps this year I will regenerate my life by providing my mind, body and soul some peace with rest.

After Christmas we all meet in Natitingou and packed for our safari trip. I was responsible for putting the trip together. The trip turned out awesome and I went with a great group of people. We rented a car to go into the park. It was a very bumpy ride to the entrance. At the entrance we all climbed in top of the van so that we could see the animals better.

The first few hours we did not see much. We arrived at the hotel which was a nice surprise. We were all excited when we found out the pool was clean. We checked into our one bed bungalow and try to imagine sleeping arrangements for eight people.

Later that evening we took a night safari and saw elephants. Since we were on a budget we packed most of our own food. For dinner we has bread, can tomatoes paste and cheese spread made on the furnish outside.

The next day was awesome for seeing animals. We saw just about everything that the park had to offer. The morning safari we only saw antelope. The afternoon safari we found a lion try to protect his lioness. There were four cars parked near him. We spent 10 minutes looking and taking pictures until the lion was getting upset. We were in the bright red van with eight juicy people sitting on top looking at a wild lion. at some point we had a freak out moment when he look like he was going to rush our car. We were all afraid and only wanted to get out of there. The problem was our car was stuck in a train of cars who did not want to move. The we pressed on pushing their luck and thought it was thrilling to be in the mist of a life threatening situations. We were not the exciting for being a you tube video of those people that walked up to a lion and never made it out to tell the story. At some point people got the point and cars in front of us moved. That was the last night that we were at the park. We had a three course dinner.

The next morning we packed our things and headed out of the park. We saw the lion again in a different location with his lioness. He still look very mad a the large amount of people bothering him. We did not want to stuck around to see the show but our driver once again could not get passed to cars in front of use. We could not back out either. We were surrounded by people taking pictures. At some point the lion made everyone in the car heart jump and we finally were able to move. Once we left the park we swam in the waterfalls. All in all the trip was awesome.

I wanted to take this time and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May god bless and watch over you and your families.

It has been six months since I left the US to Benin. Everything on this side is good.

As for my Holidays, I will be sharing Christmas, my birthday and New Years with other PeaceCorps volunteers. I look forward to the New Year and all the great adventures ahead.

Thank you for your support and encouragement. I am truly honored to have the people in my life.

Bonne Chance!!!!

P.S. I would love to hear about your life experiences or routines. GO 2010!!!!!

Thanksgiving was cool. I went to the PeaceCorps house and had dinner with other volunteers. I came to dinner late so there was not much food left. I ended up drinking more than planned that night and I woke up feeling sick. I woke up to what I thought was a hangover but it ended up being malaria. Symptoms were mild from day 1-4 and on the fifth day it got a little worst. I ended up going to the medical office in Cotonou. It was a cool vacation from post because I was able to meet up with a friend that I studied with in Amsterdam. He was working in Nigeria on a short term job assignment. He was force to go grocery shopping with Amy and I since Cotonou is the only place with a large selection of food. It was cool times. I discovered an art museum, listen to a good live band and ate awesome food.

I have nothing profound to say but I can not believe the time is going by so fast.

I am woken up each day by the sound of the roster outside by window, women preparing food for the day and children getting ready for school. The smell of smoke in my nose and I see day light in the cracks of my window. I am slow to get up and reminded of the liberty I have to set my own schedule. I get up and head towards the bucket that holds water that I got from the well and start washing myself. Afterwards, I pour myself a glass of boiled and filter water and I think of ways that I will entertain myself for the day. I make something quick to eat and I adventure out of my house for yet another day without direction. Before I leave the house I grab by moto helmet which how people I never met identifies me with the

PeaceCorps. On my walk to my destination I salute people that I pass. Producing foreign sounds that I am not sure anyone understands when I attempt to say Hi in a local language. There are over five languages outside of French that is spoken in my town. I have found that many people understand Bonjour but many of the older women I pass will only greet me back in their native language. I walk away confused as I am overwhelmed with the languages spoken on my walk to work or a friend’s house. Some people greet me by saying Bonjour others Bienvenue and at times I get people yelling English words in excitements that I will respond back. PeaceCorps or being in a foreign place can put you on an emotional roll coaster. It even harder to have to temporary give up the comforts that I had in my everyday life. But I am seeing that the comforts I came to love came at a cost. The cost of freedom and at least here I have time to clear my head, to grow and work on what I want from life. Today, another PCV came to visit me for the day. I reminded me how cool my little town was. We walk over to the waterfalls right outside of towns and went swimming. Being surrounded by such beauty was peaceful. I might not be able to reach comfort in this town but I sure do appreciate my experience.

I am by far in a different world. It is funny how time allows you to become accustom to things. I never considered myself a city girl until I moved here. I found the hardest adjustment was when the night fall to realize that I traded a shimmer city skyline for a clear view of the galaxy. And as much as I enjoy looking up and gazing at the stars, I cannot share the same love for using a flash light to guide my way through the bushes leading to my house. I feel restricted to only being active during day light because even in the protection of my house the current in my electricity is not strong enough to produce dependable light. Not to add the lack of entertainment. When you can claim to be bored you are just that, bored.

Life is starting to pick up and I am no longer so bored. I remember the first few weeks at post I was bored out of my mind. I was entertained by sweeping my house or sitting out in the only cold climate, the rain. I spent my days trying to consider all the justifications for going home. I had many but I still felt like I should give it a few more weeks before I made a hasty decision.

Life is still somewhat slow which not a surprise since I live in a small town. I am reminded by the locals that I do not live in the bush but at times, I beg to differ. I am guessing the bush is classified as the place that has no market, no place to get food but one thing that is available everywhere is beer. I have electricity and a phone signal and since I live the “cher” life internet. Yes life could be worse but this is still a large adjustment for a city girl. I have found out that you can have electricity, running water and etc but things do not work properly here.

I cannot help to be use to my warm showers, running water, toilet or a place to sh*t where mosquitoes are not trying to bite my ***, food that is a bit more diverse, native language and electricity with a consistent current. I agree that my life in the state beside it occasional disappointments was awesome. Living near my family, great climate, awesome friends and it is where my heart is. But I am adjusting to the town I live in considering. I have meet some cool expats and locals.

What do I do? That is the question on a lot of people minds. For those who have the image of me saving babies or chasing down Simba in the Lion King for a photo then you will be disappointed that my life here is not that exciting. I am not saving the world but I am contributing with helping improve the lives of people I get in contact with. I still am trying to figure out what improvement means but a gentle smile or a conversion goes a long way. As for work, I am still working on identifying my primary project. I have found some interesting things working with tourism in my town.

The first night that I spent with my host family I was trying to identify all the noises coming from outside my bedroom. I was so confused and the first few nights it was uncomfortable to fall asleep. I later found out that people pray at all hours of the night. They also leave their radio blasting with religious sermons that sound daunting, at first, when you don’t know the language. In addition people are active at night because it is hot in the day. The combination of the commotion at night contributed to the noises that once frighten me.

One night, my host family waited until I was in my room for the night. My host family was catholic and had some church friends over. closed my eyes to people singing outside my room in the courtyard. It was peaceful and pretty. Right before I was in a deep sleep the singing became chanting and then someone screaming. I could swear I woke up to hear them perform an exorcist. I guess I will never know because I stayed in bed for that culture exchange. By this time I was no longer afraid just felt a little awkward.

The mosques are one of the most beautiful buildings in the city. I did not mind living next to one until I saw the large speakers facing my house. Normally, I hear the call of pray a few times in the night but during Ramadan it was open night Mic. I was able to fall asleep but I was woken up at different hours of the night by the noises outside my room. It was as if different people were trading off being on the mic throughout the night.

At post, I hear kids playing the radio really loud throughout the day. I think I live near a buvette or a place they sell local bar. But in the night all I can hear is crickets. It is kind of too quiet at times.

Dreams-

It never fails; I always have a wicked dream after taking my malaria medication. Nothing alarming but it is some interesting times or should I say thoughts.

Most people toss their trash anywhere because there is no place to dispose of trash. I have seen in isolated areas trash cans but that was catering towards tourist. Even so people are really big on cleaning here and sweep the trash every morning. I guess it goes in a pile and get burned but I am still not sure how it works out. I only been to six places and things tend to be different in each town due to infrastructure.

It seems that many cultures do not use toilet paper and prefer cleaning themselves with water after going number two. Benin is no different and you will not find many people that use toilet paper. A bathroom etiquette that gets on my nerves is men pulling out their “John” anywhere to go to the bathroom. Most don’t even try to find a discrete place to go pee. In most small areas sanitation is a major issue. In larger towns it is not as much as an issue.

Before coming here I was afraid that the country was going to smell. I guess the unpaved dirt roads reminded of my trip to a village in India. We are limited to what we know and we tend to associate the unknown with something familiar. Besides the smelly arm pits, the smug from larger towns traffic or the trucks on the highway the air is clean. Cars here do not have to pass smog check and being here shows me the importance of a smog check. It took some time getting use to the polluted air in places like Porto Novo or Cotonou. I am posted in a small town but in Benin it is known for being a larger town; I guess living in the LA area for over five years this is heaven in terms of fresh air.

Yovo is a word to describe someone that is not from the area. Some argue that is only directed toward people that are white making the direct meaning a white foreigner. It is suppose to carry a negative connotation behind it. I have found the problem with American trying to determine its meaning is that locals have different opinions. Another problem is that most locals are ignorant of the world’s diversity making anyone not from Benin or other West African countries white. This leaving out anyone that is not from here and does not identify with being white which is a vast amount of the world’s population. What’s even more interesting is that everyone here clearly knows I am black but due to my skin being a little lighter maybe mixed, maybe, but I am still introduce as the blanc person or maybe it is because I was raised in a western society. I guess i will never realy know. Blanc is white in French. This leaves me to believe that color is not a universal classification for a person’s identity. I guess it not that much as a surprise since Chinese in South Africa can choose to identify their ethnicity as being black. Americans tend to associate being white with people that have Anglo-Saxons features leaving out other parts of Europe, Asia, South America and North Africa. Most people in Latin America identify with being white and the millions of other culture contradictions going on in the world. It is no wonder that people here are confused.

September 25, 2009 marks a new beginning. I have officially took my oath and sworn in as a volunteer for the PeaceCorps. I feel exhausted, confused, and elated. It was a proud moment to stand next to my fellow volunteers and recite the country’s oath so help us god. As I look in every direction, I could immediately see people who were wearing the same clothe. In Beninese culture, it is standard to wear a uniform for major events or to symbolize unity. It is called men tissue and for the program I was in the renamed our tissue to the baller tissue. I am a business volunteer and the SED program decided to buy tissue that had planes, boats, and money as the clothe pattern. I was glad for training to be over and to catch up on some sleep. But I could not help to feel a bit sad that I was going to be separated from the comfort of having Americans in the same town.

I have endured more physical, mental and spiritual growth allotted in one short period of time. Overall I am excited about being here but it is complicated. One parts of me is aware that these two years will go by fast and that I can create some awesome memories during my service. Here are my positive reasons to stay: I will never have the chance to live in such a stress free environment. I lived in larger cities my whole life and this small town can’t compete with the city movement or life style. I can grow spirituality and after this experience I will feel indomitable. I can also take the time to set goals in life and figure out my next step. I can study for a graduate test and research possible career chooses. I can read more which has been a habit that I lost at some point. I am in a good environment to learn French. I can help people who may not know they need my help. In return, I could be helped in ways that I did not know I needed to be helped. I can assist the community with accomplishing their goals. I could learn about a culture and they can learn something about me. Lastly, I feel challenged and productive here which is one of the reason I wanted to join the PeaceCorps.

Another part of me wonders if this is where I want to spend two years away from my family and friends; away for contemporary comforts and true compatibility. Benin has a great peer support group but it hard not being near an English speaking native at times when you’re going through tough culture adjustments. This is a couple notches harder than a study aboard programs because of the living conditions. I was sent to a PeaceCorp hardship country and other places people serve resemble daily comfort they could find in the US. I feel like coming to Benin made me have to give up a lot of things too fast. I commend those people that did not travel before Benin and this is their first international experience. I might not be here if I did not travel before this. I was not ready to give up most my comforts but I was at least ready for the culture adjustment roll coaster. In my eyes this was the hardest country to adjust to but it also feels relatively safe. So the question is not if I can do it but will I want to do it. For now the answer is yes because the good outweighs the bad. I am a survivor and my body will adjust to this new environment in due time.

Benin work stations in Benin. The one in Capital is in the main office and the sleeping area reminds me of a hostel. The others are more homely because they are in residential areas. Each work station does have a computer but the internet is slow. The workstation is a place where volunteers go in transit or to get a break from their post.

My work station is Natitingou which is about 50 KM from my house. The work station has a shower which is one of the largest blessings. I never thought I would have to go so long without taking a shower. I remember when I first got here I did not like taking showers because the water was so cold. I have completely got use to the cold showers and prefer them over the bucker wash that I have to do daily. I plan on spending many nights here in the upcoming year. I can find a bank, small store and a marche in Natitingou. I have to do all my banking in this town because my city does not have one. It also the closes place with a post office.

Going to the beach reminded me of my many summer days back in the states. I love the ocean and it always gives me peace to hear the calming waters. But this coastal line also brought about the emotion of reflection and enlightenment. One part of me got home sick and the other part of me could feel the pain and suffering of American black ancestry in the sand.

All the trainees took a day trip to a place called Ouidah which is known for its history in Voodoo and being one of the largest places for the trading of “slaves” to the Americas. I feel that I have been tracing history with each destination I go to. Seeing places like Ouidah gives me better insight to the environments and people that caused the events in our history. It is interesting to have gone further in time to see the shore lines that brought blacks to the Americas. I was glad to see where the history books that spoke of African American history started. Walking through” the gate of no return” made me see how far we have gone in history.

The complexity of being an African American is very complex when trying to determined history and identity. That identity heightens when I tried to imagine my lineage passing through the point of no return. The only problem was that a small percentage of my lineage, if any at all, could be trace to the West African slave trade. That made me question where my histories as being a black American start. My mother is from South Africa and my father is a mixed American. It was interesting reflection that I had that day. Much of my traveling had made me question or in the search for culture identity.

I have always found it interesting that people in different European countries would stress the differences even though geographically they are right next to each other. Who are identified with being white because people of Spanish or Latin blood at times get left out of the equation however white is a large classification. As there are many black identities, Asian identities group there also a large diversity in the white identities group. I bring this up because Africa is a very confusing continent where people group many of the cultures together. Seeing and being born from a woman from the Southern part of Africa, I do not relate to Beninese culture. I don’t see many similarities besides I am told were both black but came from different ethics groups. It is hard for the international world to identify with people from Africa because the diversity is very large forcing people to be lazy and group everything together.

Two weeks in counting I will be at my post. I just got down viewing the city that will be home for hopefully two years. It was a long bus ride. I had to wake up at 4am in the morning and go towards the bus stations. I arrived at Nati which is the largest city 50km outside of mine. I took a 50k motorcycle ride into my town. It was so pretty. Imagine riding in a hilly area and the only thing you see is green trees. Right outside my town there is a small waterfall and a beautiful stream. There are also two beautiful stone rocks on both side of the road marking the entrance to my town.

My house is pretty big. I have 2 bedrooms that measure 12x12 and a living room that is 24x15 and to small areas in the back for cooking and washing. I do have electricity except for the power going out alot and no running water. Looks like I am taking bucket showers for the next 2 years. I still don't know where I get water from. I am so excited to pimp out the place and get my decorating on.

The house is not done yet and it was not a good idea to sleep overnight on the floor. I found a mouse in my bag. Lets just say I freaked the fuck out. I was trying to get my head phones and something told me not to put my hand in the bag. I turn it over and out comes this hairy creature. I screamed and jumped around while the mouse was running scared shit. I opened the door to my bedroom and it ran out. Then it started storming and the electricity went out. I want to go to the neighbors house but I was to afraid of a rat running around my empty house. That things was climbing walls and shit. When did rats have spider capabilities. Long story short at 11pm, let me add I felt trapped in my room since 8pm that evening, I left the room. I walk over to the family that was hosting me. Ate my first meal for the day and after we went to look for the mouse. Ha ha OK before I was trying to explain in french what was in my house and it took a while. He ended up finding it and killed it. I finally got some sleep at 3 because i told myself that nothing going to kill me.

The next day I went around town and met all my work partners. That was fun because the people were so nice. I even met the mayor of the town who I will be working with too. I got a lecture for the head police guy that all men are bad and not to talk to any guy who trys to talk to me. That was kinda interesting. You had to be there I guess but he broke out the English or what was an attempt to speak English. He said he want to make sure I understand. Anyhow that was my trip to my post.

The first cooking season we all voyaged off to the SED/TEFL house to eat some Mexican food. The TEFL did the cooking while SED went to a local buvette and our drunken hungry crashed the TEFL party for food.

My favorite was when we cooked fried chicken. It was hard to eat at first because I saw the chickens brutal murdered. I know that meat was once a living thing but the people killing the chicken did not know what they were doing and ended up prolonging the chicken’s pain. Needless to say I am not a true activist I did eat and enjoyed it.

I went up to Banikara for a tech visit. Pretty much went to a SED/IT volunteers post to see how she lives and where she works. It was cool because I got to cover most of the country going there. After class six of us pile in a small taxi and head out for an adventure. There were four of us in the back seat and two went in the front. I could remember half of my body on my friends lap and the other half on another. Needless to say it was an uncomfortable hour drive to Cotonou. We arrive in Cotonou and got our bus ticket for Kandi. I had dinner at Secret Sharawama which was taste of haven. It has been over three weeks in Benin and it was the first time that I had a hot/warm shower and water pressure. When we left towards the bus station it was still dark out. It was an 11 hour plus bus ride to Kandi work station. The advantage was that I slept through most of it because I was sick. I did wake up for the many potholes that we went over but it was for a brief second. We went to visit Nia who is an ICT volunteer. We saw where she worked and looked around the town. It was raining season so it was very green. The trip was a much need break from stage.

People in Benin do not value diversity in their food like Americans. I find that I eat the same thing over and over again. The number one thing used in my kitchen is tomato paste followed by pastas/rice. I have no refrigerator so I am limited on types of food due to food store. I have yet to get the hang of cooking with limitations. I would appreciate going to a grocery store so much more once I go back to the states. I did hear of a place that kinda looks like Target near the airport. Which does not mean much to me since it is a long bus ride away.

There are some really cool fast-food/restaurants in Cotonou.. Most things are sold in market, small stores or small stands outside of people houses. Produce and product vary large between different parts of the country. I have found a Thai restaurant, Lebanese food and a place kind of like KFC. I might only go to these places a few times but it is comforting knowing that they are in country.

I am free to reach for the stars that cannot be seen but you know contribute to the beautiful panorama in the sky at night. Willing to go the distance for a jewel that is not worn and has it natural beauty persevered. Ready for the work that is required to cultivate the benefits that life has to offer.

Being ready to face the unknown and the untraveled is half of the journey. The other half is being willing accept any choices that are made that contribute to where you find yourself in life. Imagine growth like the cycle of a plant. Each flower produce has its life cycle and when it is completed it leaves seeds behind to continue its life. In life we are given one chance to live every second, every moment. Each second unique and can’t be redone but there is room for growth. When we grow we overcome the battle that once left us defeated.

It is not about perfections but it is about reaching outside yourself every day. Challenging outdated philosophy so that you are no restricted. Go beyond and above so the mind is not limited to the shackles that doom many societies to repeat the same mistakes. Embrace that growth is both a taxing and worthwhile experience

Training aka Stage was from July 25-September 25, 2009. We were living in Porto Novo which is the governmental capitol of the country. I lived with a host family’s individual. We were force to emerge into the culture after training classes. I attended class from about 8 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon six days a week. My days were jammed with French, medical, security, culture and business classes. I am currently in a city called Porto Novo (second largest city in Benin) until September 25, 2009 which is the date we get sworn in as a volunteer. I am staying independently with a host family while I go through technical, language and culture training. Overall the experience is overwhelming because of all of the challenges I must overcome in such a short time. The largest is being able to learn French before being sworn in and adapting to a new culture. My environment is similar to feeling like a two year camping excursion. I am sure once training is over things will slow down a bit. In late August or early September I will know my post and job assignment. Once I find out where I will be living the next 2 years I can keep you posted on my ability to keep in touch. I have never been pushed as much as I have during my time in training. I felt like I was in a trance. I was so tired that sleep did not hydrate my exhaustion.

The runs were a very popular topic the first few months in the country. Everyone at some point had to make frequent stops to the bathroom. I do remember getting sick three weeks into being in country. It was the same week I had to travel to the other side of the country via a long bus ride. The trip turned out awesome but I felt like sh*t for most of it. I guess having diarrhea is a given moving to a new country where people have different food methods. What made this worth sharing is that some people did not have glamorous bathroom situation at their host family house. I was blessed to have a toilet in my room except when it got congested and smelled. I had one friend who’s bathroom was in the kitchen were people spent a lot of time. Everything that happened in the bathroom could be heard which is not comforting for Americans who like to keep their dirty business to themselves. Others were not as bless to even have a toilet if you have to go for a while the last thing you want to do is have to squat down. Good news is that for most, including myself, the sickness passes and only come back once in a while.

The runs were a very popular topic the first few months in the country. Everyone at some point had to make frequent stops to the bathroom. I do remember getting sick three weeks into being in country. It was the same week I had to travel to the other side of the country via a long bus ride. The trip turned out awesome but I felt like sh*t for most of it. I guess having diarrhea is a given moving to a new country where people have different food methods. What made this worth sharing is that some people did not have glamorous bathroom situation at their host family house. I was blessed to have a toilet in my room except when it got congested and smelled. I had one friend who’s bathroom was in the kitchen were people spent a lot of time. Everything that happened in the bathroom could be heard which is not comforting for Americans who like to keep their dirty business to themselves. Others were not as bless to even have a toilet if you have to go for a while the last thing you want to do is have to squat down. Good news is that for most, including myself, the sickness passes and only come back once in a while.

I remember sitting at the internet café almost finished typing a long email when the power went out. It seemed to be a nightly occurrence in Porto Novo. I have found that the country power system is not stable and it is the cause by bad frustrations. I have learned to carry a flash light on me at all times and to type my emails at home. Now that I moved to my house at post I only have light in one of the bedrooms. It because the other parts of the house were not wired right and do not work. The power goes out a lot here but it is not that bad. As for internet, I live near an internet café and I have a modem at home but I can only use yahoo messenger and skype chat.

Kanakoo/MTN- It is a flash drive modem. The cost of the modem is 45,000 cfa and it is 400cfa per minute. For MTN it is 30,000 and $50 a month for unlimited or about $10per 50MB.

Internet café/workstations- Some towns will have internet café. Internet is slow and the computers are usually old to increase frustration but it works. Cotonou workstation and Nati have wireless internet that is a faster.

I was sitting in the back sit of a Honda as we took a right off the pave road onto a sandy street. After driving on the unpaved road for two minutes we arrived at the house of my host family. The house was about a 10 minute walk to the school. I lived with a single woman that took care of her nieces and nephews. She was an event planner and spent most her days making clothes or making decorations for parties. She did most her preparation at the house. The she had family members that lived in the US and Germany. The younger people in the house loved Akon and I spent most my night falling asleep to the same Akon song. Celine Dion is also a family favorite here.

Region: Atacora

Country: Benin

Continent: Africa

Supervisor: (President of the Collective of Artisans)

The town of tanguilta is in the western north-south highway in the Attacora region. Being a SED volunteer in this larger town you will be faced with a large numbers of groups and organizations with whom you will be working with. You will be hosted by the Mayor’s office. Understanding that you will be expected to find of variety of work partners to work with, the mayor’s office has provided several leads to organizations you might start working with when you arrive. Artisans• Business management training adapted to specific programs• Writing business plans• Application of computer technology to small businessesFarmers• Improving quality • Finding new marketsMayor’s Office• Build capacities in digital data management• Build capacities in basic computer maintenanceCybercafe • Building technology capacity • Improving revenue models

Cara Conley, PCT

Corps de la Paix Americain

01 B.P. 971

Cotonou, Benin

Afrique de l’Ouest (West Africa)

Cara.conley@yahoo.com

Beninese cell at 00229-9665-3791

Skype (916)400-0997.

Porto Novo (July 29)

Once we saw the sign welcome “bienvenu “to Porto Novo everyone’s heart jumped. We knew then that we were going to meet our host families and be spread throughout the city. We were given pictures of our host family and told to walk in a room filled with people to find them. My first night with my host family was kind of rough because I felt isolated. I could not communicate a word besides Bonsoir. Partly because my vocabulary was limited and I was also insecure saying what I did know. I spent the rest of the night questioning if I could stay two years. I was woken up at 5 am by the call of prayer. To be honest I did not know what was going on. I stayed in my room scared of the noises coming outside my room. In an unfamiliar place, voodoo, noises, dark yea my imagination went wild.

Thursday (July 30) was the first day of class. I was escorted to school by someone half my age. July 30 and July 31 was just setting into the new city and going to various different classes. August 1 is Benin’s Independence Day which I spent most my time studying French. I was so excited to get a call from my mom and aunt.

(August 2) My nerves woke me up from my sleep. After spending the whole day studying French and nothing sticking, I felt very discouraged. I could not eat my breakfast and felt very sick. Luckily, I was meeting with some other trainees and volunteers to go on a bike ride of the city. I was nervous to walk to the school where we were all going to meet up. I felt uncomfortable being the only foreigner walking alone while little children sing a song that attracts even more attention to me. “Yovo, Yovo, Bonjour Yovo yovo ca va? Yovo Yovo Tu es d’ou? ….Merci… “ Yovo=white, foreigner or out of place. This chant last for my whole walk because just when I think I passed one group of kids, another group pops out of nowhere. The bike ride was awesome. Having the somewhat populated air in my face while I went around the city was refreshing. I wish that I consider buying tights before I came because riding a bike with a dress and wind was not a winner combination. We ended up at a little restaurant near the SED/ TFEL volunteers’ house. One of my friends Doug went to the bathroom and on his way there this guy asked if we were dating. He said no and once he got out of the bathroom he realized that I might feel uncomfortable if a guy hits on me in French. So he told the guy I was dating Ryan. It was a funny moment lol the guy ended up going to Ryan and apologizing for trying to make a move on me. We rode back to my host house and I walked in a room filled with people. I was given a beer and sent off to my room for another night of studying before school in the morning. The drop out count is zero.

Day 3-5 The last few days have consisted of different briefings and medical evaluations. At night we would get together and hang out at this little bar area on our compound. The experience these last few days reminds me of my times in summer camp. We were only allowed to leave the compound when we went to the PeaceCorps office. At the PeaceCorps office we had more evaluations. I had my language interview which was entertaining, needless to say that it did not last that long. The funniest thing we did was test out the motorcycles around town. That last line was mess leading because we were not driving the motorcycles but instead riding on the back. I got my first motor helmet which makes as stand out since very few people wear them. We had many briefings on security, culture, business but the one that stood out was the one on female harassment. The crazy stories that the volunteers told about their experience with men hitting on them was pure comedy. Great times with great people

Language-

Learning French is going to be one of the largest challenges in my life. The environment here is so chaotic and knowing how to communicate is a survival skill that I must acquire. Let me add that I have never had any formal and barely informal training in French. Today I was split into my language class with 3 other volunteer. Most of them took French for 2-3 years in either college or high school. It was a frustrating period to be spoken to in French and have ZERO clues on what is going on. I guess if everyone else was lost then it would be less intimidating. So I conclude that this lesson will be full of humility and unforeseeable challenges. My bashful ways are not going to last long in this environment.

Interesting fact- There are only six gas stations if that in the whole country and I have seen three in one city. There are many cars but the largest form of transportation is from a motorcycle. Gas is sold on the side of the rode in recycled coke bottles or in large glass bottles. It is cool to go past these stands at night because the bottles light up and stand out. I was told by a current volunteer that the gas comes illegal from Nigeria. As for the rode ways there are limited street light or traffic signs. People direct traffic by being patience and respectful.

Day 1

I just arrived to Cotonou, Benin where I will be for the next few days. Once we got off the plane we were crammed with 400 other passengers to get our bags for a conveyer belt that could only hold ¼ of the plane. You could only imagine the luggage that we are had accumulative between the 56 volunteers. Once we got our bags and went through immigrations we were greeted with screams and cheers from PeaceCorps staff. We arrived to our training post right out the city of Cotonou. We will be pretty much together as a group until we get to Porto Novo in a few days, then we are divided into Sector in which I am a Business Volunteer.

Day 2

Today is Sunday and I am writing this entry from my training class. I am attempting to listen to my teacher talk about safety policies but I am distracted by the music in the background. There is a church service going on outside of the compound walls of our training school. I am so excited because in two days we are going be heading to Porto Novo which is another city in Southern Benin. In Proto Novo is where my training will take place and I will be leaving with a Beninese family without my other fellow trainees for 9 weeks.

I applied to the PeaceCorps in September and here it is July 22, 2009. I am of with 50+ people to a small west african country called Benin. I will hopefully finish traning and be there until September 2011.

I am writing this blog in Philly the night before our 13 plus hour flight. We spent the last few days getting to know each other. Highlight of the day is that I finally got paid. We recieved $140 for food, passport and transport allowance for three days. I burnt out so I'll write when I have something exciting to say.

I have been in Amsterdam for about eight weeks. In a couple hours I am going to board the plane to Paris . I will be going to Paris , Berlin , Prague , London and Edinburgh for the rest of the month. I did get the chance to see a couple of cities in Holland . I went to an island called Texel with 45 other international students. It was great we were on a farm in the middle of no where. Once we got of the commuter boat that took us to the island we got on bikes and started petting to the farm house. We also went shrimp fishing and played drunken card games the whole weekend. The other city was called the Hague which is the place where the governing body offices are. I went with 4 other people to visit a guy that was from California. We spent most the time looking for beer, the dorm rooms and hanging out.

As for Amsterdam I have found out that it has more to offer then Canal Street and weed. It is enriched with culture and a great night life. I have gone to the Heineken Factory which was awesome. The place had old advertisement, rides like universal studios, other random cool things and best of all free beer. There is also the Anna Frank Museum , Van Gosh….etc some many that were interesting. It not hard to navigate around the city but don’t ask me to pronounce anything. I have been getting by with “there” and “towards the center.” I went to go see a live sex show on Canal Street for my friends 21st birthday, interesting...

School is school, got to read, wake up, group projects and attend. All my class have international

student as well as group projects. Have so many students from all over the world brings up very fascinating topic and discussion. I have three classes all day Wednesday and one Thursday.

So far I really miss the food in American. I can really go for Mexican food right now. It’s not a Dutch meal if there is not egg, bread or potatoes. They also like their fries swimming in mayo. As for grocery shopping everything’s in Dutch so common sense is required. I hav

e taste some very random thing thinking it was something by the packaging and it wasn’t it.

For the most part I am enjoying myself. Time to time I get spells of being home sick but they don’t last that long. Recently, it feels like time is going by so fast.

About a dutch word http://www.expatica.com/actual/article.asp?

es:subchannel_id=1&story_id=42974Dutch

news in english http://www.expatica.com/actual/toc.asp?subchannel_id=1Tips &

Suggestions about everything in Amsterdam http://www.trippist.com/

Weekly events http://www.amsterdamweekly.nl/

Updates on my trip in Am*dam. This weekend was koo. It was the first time that I went to the red light district. That was for the most part interesting. It was a friends 21 b-day so we went to a famous show there. It was funny but at the same time werid. The funny part was she was pulled on stage to strip a male stripper. You should have seen her face it was priceless. Everything else was weird.

Friday we went to the Heineken Experience. That was so much fun. I didn't think that they could have so much going on in that place. For 11 euros you get 3 free beers and a beer opener at the end. The had pictures, a room that showed all there advertisment since they were created, 3 bars, 2 rides ( like ones you see at universial studios-1 was how does it feel like to be a bottle in a production line and the other was how there use to delivery beer in the old days on wagons). There was also a video that we made signing in dutch. I will forward it to you once the two lazy people that have it send it to me.

For the most part my trip is going good. I will back into Long Beach Dec20. My address is

Voorburgstraat 202-A1059 VD Amsterdam

I just made it into Amsterdam . I have been here close to 12 hours. Getting to the flat from the airport was an experience. My flat is on the 11 floor and has has no living room but a kitchen and a bathroom. I had the larger room in the flat and it has lot of room with a nice view of the canals. I live close to the center of the city and can kind walk if I was in the mood to exercise. People do speck English but only when you don’t understand Dutch. For some crazy reason I thought everyone was going to speak English first. One thing is that things are expensive here. I got 120 euros for 200 dollars. I been looking for a cheap store but you should not come here for bargain shopping.

On day one, I remember arriving into a foreign city with three bags that carried all my possessions. I was ready for a new start, an experience that would inspire me to grow. I got off the plane confuse and for a second I stood in the middle of the airport and took in that I was alone and thousands of miles away from home. I picked up my bags and headed out of the terminal to the main airport to find no one waiting for me. I scrambled through my bags in hopes that I packed the directions to my new flat. After five minutes of frantically throwing my clothes around, I pulled out, a piece of paper. I was given instructions to catch the train to Amsterdam central than catch the tram 2 to Westlandghtstraat. Simple enough but where in the hell do I catch a train. I walked over to a machine to buy my ticket. I could not recognize anything because it was in Dutch and I was so baffled that I could not even see the English button hiding in the right hand corner. After receiving help, I got my ticket, going towards central station. When I arrived at central stations, I dragged my heavy bags that were straining my arm muscles towards the help counter desk. "Where do I catch the tram 2," I was told to go up and out towards the streets. I got so confuse because there were bikes, trains, trams, metros, cabs and buses. I went back and forth for 30 minutes before I dropped my bags by the corner and grab the first cab that I saw. He took me to the place where the tram was going to drop me off. Both of us were confuse and he could not tell me with certainty if I was in the right place. I got out the cab because if I stayed any longer I would not have money to pay him and when I looked around, I saw a bridge, a canal and residential homes. The series event that day and being lost in the middle of the city lead me to break down and ask "what the hell was I thinking." I was lost with to much luggage to ditch and no money to find my way out but luckily after walking for 20 minutes I found a person from DUWO the housing agent

Day dreaming became a norm while I was sitting in my cubicle. I was always glaring out the window imagining the world beyond my view. The thought of working a typical 9 to 5 without allowing myself to fulfill the desire to explore the world, gave me new found meaning of the word restricted. I had a demanding load that summer with juggling summer school, community activities and working full time. Everyday, I could feel myself burning out the kindle that once allowed me to handle stressful situations. Closer to end of my summer internship I became depress and no longer challenged by the work that I was given to me. My mind was always distracted and I found myself wanting to escape from my routine life. I was ready for a journey that would give me a different experience.