Wow. I have been really bad about this lately! I suppose I will just do quick highlights from the last month and a half or so.

1) I finally made it down to my training village to visit my training host family and go to a wedding. One of our peace corps training staff married the training host sister of another k3, so many of our training language teachers and other khmer staff were at the wedding. It was a lot of fun to spend some time with them outside of the office or training setting.

2) I completed my last big project at site. A workshop on preventing gender based violence (the morning was on domestic violence and the afternoon was on sexual violence). I had a team come out from Battambang to conduct the workshop and a couple of the peace corps guys to help facilitate (given that it was a co-ed workshop on some very sensitive topics). The kids were great and handled the issues with a lot of maturity. We had some heated debates but, while it may sound odd, I felt that was a success. The fact that both my male and female students felt comfortable enough to be honest about their opinions and beliefs was huge.

3) A bunch of us were able to join in the engagement party for one of our fellow PCVs in her fiance's home village.

4) I celebrated my 24th birthday with a few friends in Siem Reap which will probably end up being my last visit there.

5) We had our COS (close of service) conference in Phnom Penh which was relatively painless, though most of us aren't used to spending an entire day outside of a hammock anymore, let alone 3... It gave us a last chance to spend time all together.

6)Since then I have just been hanging out at site, trying to get time in with my host family, the nurses at the health center, and my students.

After a delightful two week vacation in the cooler/breezier country of Vietnam, I am back in Cambodia. It is hot. It is also Khmer new year so just about everything is shut down. It's nice to be home but I will be happy when things return to normal!

Things have been uncommonly busylately. I will blame the busyness for my lack of blogging. Truth be told, with EXACTLY 4 months left in Cambodia, I am running out of blog steam a tiny bit. Highlights of the last few weeks have included:

I presented at the 7th annual Cambodia TESOL conference with another PCV the last weekend in February. We taught about using a basic understanding of cognitive psychology, specifically learning and memory, to teach more effectively. We had over 100 participants and as much as I wanted to hurl during most of it, I think it went really well.

This friday myself and the other Battambang PCVs put in a workshop for International women's day. We each brought in 10 or so students and invited several speakers. The co-teacher of one PCV lead a session on self esteem. Then we had one of the Peace COrps medical staff come with her family to talk to the girls about balancing a career and a family as a woman in Cambodia, and finally we had a guest speaker talking about womens health issues. Everything went off without a hitch!

Not only is dry season HOT. It is also the time for weddings and various other celebrations. Meaning it is painfully loud more often than not...but also pretty fun when you partake in the festivities.

Additionally dry season is absolutely FILTHY. Without the rain to knock the dust out of the air you get a thin layer of dirt on just about everything. Today I decided to undertake cleaning my mosquito net, window screens, pillow cases and fan.

Back in Cambodia after a short trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. We had a great time but definitely did not manage to make it to a lot of the popular tourist destinations in and around the city. We did however make it to McDonalds, starbucks, dunkin donuts, subway, pizza hut, auntie annes, chillis, and a number of other fine eateries. We also made it to the movie theater twice, and to at least 5 malls. (we did some sight seeing stuff too though, the towers, a mosque, independence square, china town...)

KL is clean and bustling and diverse. It was a nice break.

Scratch that. Turns out our entire group now has the same COS date. Not logical PC. Not logical at all. Oh well... all k3s (unless they choose to extend) will be out of Cambodia on July 12th. At least that eliminates one decision I have to make about my life in the near future!

The latest bit of big news is that my close of service date was moved up a month. This means that all volunteers in my group (unless they file to extend) will be out of Cambodia by July 12th. While this does not actually make that big of a difference since I was planning to try and leave in July anyway, it did trigger a little bit of a freak out.

I think we are all kind of in Limbo mode. Many of the volunteers (myself included) who have applied to graduate school have not heard back yet. For everyone else, it is still a bit early start looking for jobs back home. Having one month less to figure it out puts the pressure on a bit. I think I will feel better about it, either way, once I know about grad school. The not knowing is the hardest thing. When you have a vague idea of what’s coming you can start trying to wrap your mind around it. At the moment I don’t know whether to be wrapping my mind around a visit to the states before I am of again to re-enter the academic world…or looking for a job, and deciding what academic pursuits are next.

I feel like the start of my time here dragged and once I got settled in and learned to love this place it all flew by, now I don’t feel ready to leave.

On another note I am working with a number of other volunteers on a series of projects over the next few months that I’m very excited about. Plans are in the works for a women’s day event in March focusing on women’s independence, balancing work and family, and women’s health. Later in March there are plans to do a community service project for Peace Corps’ 50th anniversary, and in April I am planning a workshop with a friend in my provincial town on violence and consent for my 12th grade students.

Next week I am off to Malaysia!

I don’t even know where to start, it’s been so long since I last wrote and the last month has been so eventful. I suppose I will begin with saying that I now have internet at site and so, hopefully, will not have this problem in future! Prepare to hear from me a lot more often.

Liv got here on the 16th and was able to spend some time with me at my site before heading to Phnom Penh to pick up Ryan and celebrate Christmas. This was eventful for a number of reasons. First, Liv came to school with me one day and met my students. We did a Q and A session with her and she received some excellent inquiries. My favorites were:

1)Why is your hair different (from mine)?

2)Why are your eyes brown?

3)Student: “what is your religion?”

Olivia: “I don’t have one”

Student: “Oh, how do you feel when you are alone?”

Olivia: “I feel fine. I like to be alone sometimes.”

Student: “Do you ever cry out to God at night?”

Olivia: ______________________________

I might have to give a simple genetics lesson in future. We also had karaoke time, something that tends to happen on any special or not so special occasion at school.

In addition to having Olivia at site, we also had some other house guests. My Yays have a brother who moved to France during/after/because of the Khmer Rouge. He married a French woman, and they have 3 French/Khmer children (same ages as me and my siblings). They came to visit my host family for a week and a half in December. The preparations began months ago. Everytime I left for a while I would come home to some new addition, framed photos on the walls, new curtains, floor mats, mattresses, etc… It was a lot of fun getting to hang out with them (as they spoke some English and come from a culture much more similar to my own) but also kind of bizarre as they did not speak Khmer. There is nothing in my life experience that can relate to having family who I have only met a couple of times and with whom I am unable to communicate. There were several excellent Foo moments during this trip. I love him, but he is becoming a bit of a terror. His offences during those few days included: hitting me in the nose with an electric mosquito racket, punching me in the chest, picking his nose and wiping it on my arm, and punching me HARD in the mouth (he was aiming for his twin sister who was sitting in my lap). Liv and I joined the French fam for dinner one night and I drank a beer, something I rarely do at site. While we were sitting there I hear Foo yelling “CHER, LOOK!” so I turned around and there was Foo and his sister holding beer bottles and cheers-ing, they then romped on over to cheers with me. I was mortified until I saw the girls refilling the bottles with tea…then it was just funny.

Christmas was pretty low key. There were a lot of Peace Corps volunteers in Phnom Penh for the holidays so Liv and I went out to dinner with some of my friends then out dancing later. Christmas day we just lounged by the pool and then went to dinner for another friend’s birthday. Ry sadly could not get a flight in until late Christmas night. Once he joined us though we did some lounging, some shopping, and got some photos taken.

For new years we went down to the beach where we ate, drank, danced, and greeted the New Year by running into the ocean during a fireworks show. Not a bad way to ring in 2011. I suppose this is the part where I talk about my resolutions for this year. So, here goes:

In 2011 I hope to:

1)It has occurred to me in the last year and half how much pressure I put on myself as a result of my culture, my academic background, my religious affiliation and community, etc… As someone who strives to be open minded, loving, and forgiving, it’s alarming to realize how closed minded, unloving, and unforgiving I often am toward myself. So in 2011, preparing to get back into the fast paced, competitive, academic, western world, I am going to strive to be kind to and patient with myself.

2)We learn many behaviors, coping mechanisms, and communication styles, for our families, friends, and communities at large. One that I have been coming to terms with is my tendency to present hurt as anger. Acknowledging when other peoples’ words or actions are hurtful creates vulnerability and it is easier to react with anger or feigned indifference. Neither of these responses show love. Angry reactions reconcile nothing and acting like you don’t care when you do is a coward’s cop out. This year I am going to strive to call a spade a spade.

3)Blog more than once a month!

Lots of love to everyone back home! Happy New Year!

The last few weeks have been pretty eventful. Lots going on. I have been sitting here thinking about what I want to write, but I keep losing motivation so I figured I would give the very abridged version.

Over water festival weekend I went to Siem Reap and spent time with other volunteers and tried to avoid the masses. Phnom Penh is out of control during Water Festival with people pouring in from all over the country. Many of you have probably seen news reports or read about the stampede during this years celebrations which lead to the deaths of roughly 350 Khmer people. Fortunately there were no peace corps volunteers or staff involved but many of the communities in which we live and work were effected. Being so far removed from Phnom Penh, it has had less of an impact on my community than those of many other volunteers. Irregardless of location though, it was a tragedy for the entire country, which has had more than its share already.

On a happier note! This Thanksgiving was one He!! of a production. There was an in service training held in my provintial town on the friday following Thanksgiving for all of the new volunteers. Soooo 8 or so of us spent the better part of 2 days cooking thanksgiving dinner for about 80 people. I made brownies, sugar cookies, and apple crisp for dessert, and pitched in here and there with the dinner preparations. I rubbed a raw turkey with oil. This was a big step in overcoming my touching raw meat phobia. I would also reccommend basting turkeys with Anchor Beer. They turned out great. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun, I may even have enjoyed the prep for the big meal more than the big meal itself. As tradition dictates: I am Thankful to have now spent two great Thanksgivings in Cambodia.

The latest and greatest at site moments include:

1) discovering khmer dance aerobics at my market. They are hard core about it too.

2) Best awkward Foo conversation:

Foo: CHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Me: GETTING DRESSED

Foo: Can I watch a little please?

Me: (SILENCE............).....No.

* He has stopped trying to follow me into the bathroom when I showed which is a step in the right direction.

3) People laughing hard over my boldily harm/stupidity/clumsiness. I showed one of the nurses at the healthcenter that I had burned my chin with a curling iron. She started howling with laughter. Thought it was about the funniest thing ever and then started talking over patients to tell the other nurses about it. They are all still making fun of me about it. I am not sure I will ever fully understand khmer sense of humor, but I appreciate the ability to make people laugh.

4) Assessment exam responses. Very few of my students were able to get to the essay questions in this exam I gave last week...only one out of the 80 or so kids that took it, was able to get to the last question. It was something along the lines of "talk about some dangers or health hazards in Cambodia and how to avoid them." Her response was (abridged version):

There is bodys healthy and hearts healthy. For bodys healthy eat good food [blah blah etc...] For heart's healthy: 1)Try not to stress, 2)Try to be happy all time, 3) Don't work so much, 4) Don't think about something.

So there you have it, the keys to emotional health and stability. Don't work, don't stress, don't think, and be happy!

Recently I went for a walk down the dirt road I lived on for the first few months at site, it winds back through rice fields and houses. While walking I ran into my old neighbor. She asked me if I was afraid to walk alone and I naturally said no and continued on my way. I passed a few more houses with people who waved and asked where I was going. I kept walking and was invited to sit and "talk play" with a family, so I did. When I got up to go with the intention to walking farther they scolded me and told me to go home because it was 5:00p. They seemed to be looking past me so turned and saw a random guy sitting on his moto just staring at us. Or me rather. I had seen him ride his moto past me at least 4 times while I was walking. So, I turned around and walked back towards town. Then I started thinking again about the question "are you afraid?" and why I am not. It occurred to me that people like that family are why I feel safe walking alone on backroads.

Now I am sitting in a hotel room in Siem Reap and thinking about why I feel perfectly safe leaving my moneyand passport on the night stand and my laptop and ipod on the bed while in a huge tourist town on one of the bussiest weekends of the year(Water festival). I think last night is a pretty good illustration of why. My roommate and I came back late after going out dancing to find that they had pulled the gate over the doors shut. Getting locked out of your guest house could be cause for alarm, but they knew we were out and left the gate slightly open so we could get back in. The two women who run the front desk were asleep on cots in the lobby and we did not want to wake them so we hopped behind the counter to look for our key. We could not find it. Naturally I am thinking...well if we could get in and just jump behing the counter then anyone could do it...But eventually we woke one of the women and she laughed, lifted up her pillow, and handed us our room key.

When we all first got to country we were told, as were PC trainees all over the world I am sure, that the best way to ensure our personal safety was to build relationships in our communities. After a little over a year I can say I think they are right.I feel safe walking alone in my community because I cannot go 10 feet without being greeted, asked where I am going, or asked to join a family in whatever they happen to be doing at the time (usually eating rice or talk playing). Moreover they warn me when something is off (subtly, but still). I feel safe leaving my valuables in a hotel room in Siem Reap because the ladies downstairs call me sister, know where I live and who I came here to visit, and sleep with me room key under their pillow!

I’ve seen a lot of what I will term “creative parenting” during my time in Cambodia, but I saw a particularly amusing technique while at the health center this week. There was a woman waiting for a pre-natal checkup with a son who looked to be about two. He was running wild having a great time and his poor 6-months pregnant mother was chasing him all over the place. Eventually she got fed up. He was getting ready to make a run for it again so she grabbed a piece of medical tubing that was lying around and tied one end of it to his ankle and the other to her chair. Then she and the other pregnant ladies sat there and laughed at him while he tried to get away and dissolved into wailing fits of rage on the floor. Tying up your children seems to be frowned upon in America, but in Cambodia it accomplishes the desired result AND provides entertainment for your friends.

This past week has been the coldest of my Cambodian experience and I am being a complete baby about it. I have been sleeping in a sweater with 2 blankets. I am not sure if it has actually been cold or if I have just become that used to the climate. I am considering putting together a photo album of Khmer winter fashions because people wear the most hilarious get ups to keep warm. I saw a little girl in a santa suit the other day.

Among other highlights; I got to make a trip down to the beach over a long weekend to celebrate halloween with friends. The beach makes me happy. Also, I was able to attend a Hillary Clinton meet and greet at the US Embassy along with about 20 other volunteers. I was not one of the lucky few who got to shake her hand (I thought lunging over children was sort of bad form)but it was still a cool experience. Foo has started wearing a backpack and telling me he is going to school to learn English. So far he knows "1-10" (not necessarily in order) as well as "bye bye." His backpack contains a notebook, pen, waterbottle, and rubber band gun. He has taken to shooting me with the rubber band gun (doesnt actually shoot rubber bands...just makes a snapping noise) and then yelling "CHER STOP DYING!!!!!!!!!!" It is more funny in Khmer because there are two words for die. One is used for humans and the other for animals. He uses the animal death word for me. Thanks Foo.

I have written about the woman at my school who thinks she is a teacher, and I think I have mentioned the woman my host mom chased away with a stick during training (that’s quite a story so you guys will have to let me know if I have not in fact shared that experience). There is a strange man who often shows up at eating establishments I frequent and raves about people trying to kill him and wanting my phone number. Now we have a new character. I was at the market the other day buying fruit and chatting with my fruit lady when this woman walked up. She wore glasses and had a trendy haircut (signs of $$) so I did not realize right away that she was talking nonsense. Of course, the fact that her sentences consisted of Khmer, English, AND French, didn’t help. Anyhow she was showing me random stuff out of her purse and the fruit stand ladies were giving me “we don’t know what she is saying either” kinds of looks. So finally I completed my fruit transaction and walked home. I had been sitting chatting with my jolly yay for a few minutes when this woman appeared in front of my house. She sauntered on over and sat down next to me and proceeded to sing me a song while pointing to various injuries on various parts of her body. I sat there looking puzzled for a bit before my ming (aunt) looked at me and mouthed “GO IN THE HOUSE”. So I did. Later my business yay asked me about it. I told her that I didn’t know the woman and that she had followed me from the market and I didn’t know what to do. Her advice was this; “Cher, do not talk to crazy people.” Duly noted.

This past several weeks also included another golden moment with my Khmer tutor. I asked her the Khmer word for “rub,” as in “rub in ointment,” or something along those lines. The dictionary had several contextual options for “rub,” one of which was “rub one out,” and I naturally laughed. She naturally wanted to know why I laughed. I attempted to explain the slang meaning by having her look up relevant words, as a result I discovered another glaring omission in the Khmer dictionary (well, the one we were using at least).

Every once in a while I am struck by an unexpected memory of my pre Cambodian life that leaves me feeling nostalgic. This week I was contemplating Halloween and my thoughts wandered to Kay. Kay is (or at least was) the organic chemistry lab coordinator at Linfield. I thought of her because she took Halloween seriously. Every year on Halloween Kay came to work in a full body lion suit, complete with tail, and lab coat. Arguably, a full body lion suit is not the best idea in a chem. Lab, but that never stopped her. I was debating dressing up for Halloween this year, but I think I will in honor of Kay.

Foo is still a little monster. I have included photographic evidence in this blog. The other night he stuck his head in my mosquito net and started banging on the keys of my laptop until he noticed the movie that was playing and then asked if Hannah Montana is my friend. Yes, I was watching the Hannah Montana movie.

Not much new has happened in the last several weeks. I did a little traveling and a little relaxing around Cambodia, celebrated the k4s swearing in in Phnom Penh, and had a couple low key weeks at site waiting for school to get going again. It has been fun getting to know the new volunteers in my province since swear in. I know it isnt new years but I feel like the swearing in of new volunteers is a good time to re-assess goals. So here is a list of my new goals for the last 10 months in Cambodia:

1)Learn to like beer. It's far more economical.

2)Start reading things of substance again. I recently rememebered that I like learning, and moreover, and I hate how much stuff I have forgotten. (Dad I now understand why we used to find you reading chemistry textbooks in the garage,I wish I had mine here)

3)Teach less EFC and more creative things. I surprised myself with the realization that I really like teaching, I just hate the EFC (the English Language Curriculum used here).

4)Try more new recipes. I made pumpkin soup last weekend and it was a success. I really should learn to cook khmer food too...

5)Travel outside of Cambodia. It seems ridiculous that I have been here over a year and haven't gone anywhere (except America of course...)

6)Get khmer-tastic photos taken.

7)?

8)?

9)?

10)Figure out what I am doing after Cambodia.

I am in Kampong Cham once again helping with training. Today one of the volunteers had an English/Khmer dictionary of medical termonology. While waiting for community activities to start a few of us went through the dictionary, as a result I now have a number of new favorites.

the khmer term for sperm literally translatess to "the boss of life"

the khmer term for speculum literally translates to "Tool to open the golden door"

the khmer term for anus literally translates to "big door"

AND last but not least, the khmer term for priapism translates to "angry penis"

It has been nice taking a break from busy and just hanging out at site. It’s nice to feel that way. I have spent a considerable amount of time recently laying in my hammock, eating pomegranates, and reading the Chronicles of Narnia and various other novels of comparable intellectual magnitude (in addition to mornings at the health center, lesson planning and translating, of course).

I realized the other night that there is a major omission in my khmer language knowledge, an omission which most certainly needs to be remedied given that I live with a 3 year old boy. The word I seem to be missing in my Khmer repetoir is “gross.” I know how to say various things like “not delicious,” “I don’t like,” “…smells bad,” etc… But I do not know how to express disgust at another person. It would be natural at this point to be wondering what brought to light this hole in my education. The incident occurred around 6:30PM on the night of September the 3rd, 2010. I was cooking my dinner and in marched Foo. He climbed up onto a stool next to me as he often does when I am cooking dinner. He began asking me various “Cher, what is this? Where did you buy it? etc…” types of questions as per usual. I looked over to respond to his inquiries and saw that he was buck naked with one leg on the stool and one on my counter/cooking surface in a lunge-like position. I laughed; 3 year olds like to run around naked, whatever. But then he started eating things; things that are not meant to be eaten by themselves. It started with an uncooked penne noodle. No big. Then he had his hand in my oatmeal tin. Then he started tasting my spices (and crinkling his nose after each one and yelling “Doikanea!!” which means ‘the same’). Then he was sticking his finger in my spaghetti sauce. None of this is terribly disgusting but then I turned away to stir my pasta and when I looked back Foo was standing on the counter, still completely naked, shoveling the contents of a can of low-fat milk powder into his mouth with a spoon. GROSS. I mean if it had been frosting or something, sure, but low-fat milk powder…not delicious.

The last month or so has been rather busy. There isn't a whole lot to report though. I spent a good chunk of time helping out with training of the new volunteers (welcome k4!). The main result of this was a realization of how far I have come in the last year. It's funny how you can fail to see your own progress until you catch a glimpse of where you were before. I realized just how much I have learned about Cambodia, khmer culture, and language as well as issues in the healthcare and education systems. Moreover, it occured to me how much more comfotable I am with our khmer staff after having lived here for a year. So thats a nice confidence boost.

Ryan was also here for 10 days. It was great to have my brother here and get to share my Cambodia life with him a bit. That also opened my eyes a bit to how much I have adapted to my life here.

On Sunday I taught a lesson on reproductive health focusing primarily on birth control methods and how they work. I don’t think I have ever said “egg and sperm” so many times in the course of an hour. I spent a lot of time explaining things we think of as very basic, like fertilization, and the fact that the vagina and uterus are not the same thing. They only giggled a little bit when I drew a penis on the board. On Monday and Tuesday a friend of mine came from Battambang to do a workshop on female health and hygiene with my girls. Khmer women, especially high school aged, tend to be very shy about these topics so I wasn’t sure how it would be received. I was pleasantly surprised though. I had 20 girls show up for the two day workshop. They not only showed up but participated, answered questions when asked, and asked a lot of their own questions. I was very proud of them. I had two favorite moments. The first was when Meghan and her Khmer counterparts were teaching about good hygiene before sex. They asked the girls if they had any ideas about this and one of my students suggested that “taking off your clothes” is good pre-sex hygiene. Not sure how much it has to do with sanitation, but hey, it’s a good idea anyway! Later they were answering questions that my students wrote at our last health club meeting. One of the questions was about what they could do to be more beautiful. In response to this question Meghan’s main Khmer counterpart suggested things like exercising, eating well, bathing often, etc… but her last bit of advice was “you should have an orgasm every day because when you feel good you look good!” Now in America I would not advocate saying something like that to a bunch of teenage girls. But here, it’s a different story. It is highly unlikely that unmarried girls here will be doing anything sexual, so statements like that wouldn’t be perceived as encouraging promiscuous, unsafe, or even immoral behavior. Even in married women though, sexuality tends to be incredibly repressed. It is rarely looked upon as something that should be pleasurable for a woman, and the concept of fore-play doesn’t really exist, which brings with it a whole truckload of related problems. So to have a married Khmer woman openly talking about enjoying sex is AWESOME. AWESOME and funny.

On another amusing note; I have written about the “crazy lady” at my school before. I will recap though. There is a mentally ill woman in my community who thinks she is a teacher. She shows up at the school every day, in teaching clothes (button down blouse and a floor length skirt called a sampot), carrying a notebook, and wanders into classrooms talking nonsense. She seems to think I am interesting or something because she shows up at least once in just about every class I teach. I didn’t think to warn Meghan about her, and during the workshop she just wandered in and started telling a story about a relative in Battambang who had just gotten engaged. It reminded me that where we are from that would never every happen. In a way I appreciate that it does here. She fits into the fabric of the community so much more easily here than she would where I am from where she would either be viewed as an unacceptable disruption or a danger.

This week I had the pleasure of explaining to my khmer tutor that sperm and bacteria are not the same thing.

So, I am prepping this lesson on reproductive health. Really basic stuff; these are the kinds of birth control available, here is how they work, these ones are the best, etc… I doubt that any of my girls actually need this information but many of them will probably be married soon so I figure I might as well give them the info now. My Khmer tutor was helping me to go through the lesson and translate it. Even though I have help with translating the lessons while I teach them, I try to make sure I at least understand the basics of the language necessary so I will know if there is a major mistranslation. This particular topic is proving to be a challenge, not because I am shy about teaching it, but because getting someone to translate it is proving difficult. Trying to explain what I want to say when my teacher does not have the vocabulary in English, or the practical knowledge in her own language…tricky. This challenge led to an interesting conversation during my last session. My tutor was explaining to me that she knows about condoms because she teaches HIV/AIDS education. She is a primary school teacher. I got rather excited thinking that they actually taught sexual education in my district. WRONG. They teach HIV/AIDS education in 6th grade, but from what I gathered, there is no sexual education taught in the schools. I have been here long enough not to be surprised by this, but I have to say the logic seems faulty, teaching safe sex to kids who probably don’t even know the mechanics of it. I know there is debate even in the states about how much should be taught in schools but it seems to me that if you are going to teach about things like condoms you should probably make sure people know the basics.

On a more serious note: Recently I began reading the Twilight books. I have resisted this for a long time, but finally illness induced boredom got the better of me. Now I could go off on a shpeel about how you should be required to have a college degree to read these books so as to ensure that you don’t take them seriously, I could rage about how they completely normalize and even idolize violence in the context of romantic relationships, I could add to all of the commentary about anti-feminism and what have you, or perhaps the whole issue of forefitting your SOUL for a boy…but I won’t. Instead my mental processes have been entirely consumed with this question: Edward or Jacob? As far as personality and general attractiveness I would have to go with the werewolf. Ultimately though, I think the choice is entirely climate dependent. Living in Cambodia for a year has taught me to value cold things. So I would say Pacific Northwest Meghan is all about cuddling with a personal heater and Cambodia Meghan is all about shacking up with a walking air conditioner. In short, friends and family, this is what my brain has deteriorated to.

This past week I taught my health club about exercise. My friends at home can go ahead and keep laughing. They really did not know much of anything about how much exercise you should do or basic kinds of exercise you could do. They wanted me to demonstrate some things which was fine. We started with really basic things like sits ups and push-ups. I kid you not, these girls are itty bitty but maybe 2 out of 20 of them could actually do a sit-up. Also, I wanted to smack the lot of them because they were asking questions about how to lose weight or make their thighs smaller etc and so forth…because a 000 isn’t small enough already.

I started a health club at my site a few weeks ago for 11th grade girls. Our first class went so much better than I could have hoped. I had my lesson plans all ready and two 12th grade girls lined up to help me with the Khmer, but not knowing their level of English I was very very nervous about the potential need to teach in Khmer. At this point, almost a year in, I shouldn't worry about looking like a fool anymore, but alas, I still do! Anyhow, I could not have been more pleasantly surprised or pleased with my girls. About 20 minutes before the start of the club my one of my helpers showed up. We went through the lesson plan together, she had maybe 2 clarification questions, then jumped right up at the start of class and co-taught the whole lesson with me. I hardly had to speak Khmer at all, the girls were able to ask questions in KHmer and I was able to answer them without language confusion. We had about 40 girls who all stayed engaged the whole time and asked lots of good questions. We definitely addressed the misconception that water makes you fat and other things like why it is bad to skip meals and why sugar is not the best source of energy, etc... Overall a major success and I am excited to keep going with it for the remainder of the summer.

Some of my wierder moments of the last month: A lady in my market asked me if my mom was dead yet the other day. Not the usual "where do your parents live" or anything like that, but literally "is your mother dead yet?" Wierd. I went to my usual lunch place and this rando guy was sitting there and as soon as I walked up he said, in English, "You drink beer now," I was like...ummmm No. Then he proceded to ask me where I live, my phone number, and if I would come over to his house. I tried to ignore him then he started talking about people trying to kill him. All in English, bad English, but still. When I finally finished my food and walked home (across the street) I was oh so thankful that I don't live alone. AND the ultimate weird: I was in a car on my way into town, some random people passing through gave me a ride (sometimes that happens when I go to the taxi stand), very nice people. Anyway I was sitting in the back with some guy who knew a little English, so we were chatting in English and KHmer. It was the usual questions, "where are you from, why are you here, how long, do y ou have a husband, do you want a khmer husband..." I answered as I usually do and stated that I want an American husband to which he responded, in English, "that's good, hybrids aren't smart." He then went off on a shpeel about how Khmer people who have children with Chinese, Thai, or Vietnamese people produce inferior offspring. I could hardly believe that level of ignorance. I didnt know what to say so I just said "Wow, America is full of idiots, most of us are like 8 way hybrids." He didn't seem to know how to respond. Very few people here understand how diverse America is and that most people from America have ehtnic heritage from another place, many other places generally (most people here don't know about native Americans at all).

THis past weekend was 4th of July which I had the pleasure of spending in Phnom Penh with a majority of the PCVs currently in country. We went to a party at the embassy and it was fun to see all the decorations and hear the national anthem for the first time since our swear in. In honor of the fourth of July I would just like to say how thankful I am to have been born in America.

There's not a whole of new going on over here just yet, but there should be soon. Next weekend I am kicking off a health club with 11th grade girls from my high school English classes. I am a little bit nervous about starting to teach in Khmer but fortunately I found two lovely, eager, 12th grade girls with good English to help me fascilitate the club. My hope is that they will gain some useful leadership experience and the other girls will benefit from a lessening in the language barrier. I continue to be amazed by many of the common misconceptions about health held by people here. Educated people even. While it baffles me it also reassures me that the project I am about to begin will be useful. For example, while I was talking with one of the girls who will be helping me teach she asked what kinds of things I would be talking about. I told her we would begin talking about good nutrition and drinking enough water. She said "oh in Cambodia we believe that drinking a lot of water will make you fat, is that wrong?"...Ummmm, YES. That is wrong! That is just one of many widely held misconceptions. Many people think that eating a lot of certain fruits will give you a fever, that you should excercise while you are sick instead of resting, and that it is good for pregnant women to skip meals so that their babies will be born small. My hope is that the club this summer will give a large number of girls really basic information on how to keep from getting sick, how to recognize common illnesses, and how to take care of themselves and others when sick or hurt.

This past week I moved into more conversation based English lessons with the nurses at the health center which has been really fun. I have reached a point where I can joke around with them in Khmer and English and usually leave at the end of the hour or so laughing. Also, my mom sent me a crockpot and it is revolutionizing my cullinary world. AND, my market got sliced bread!!

On another note, I am currently in Siem Reap taking a short weekend break to celebrate the end of the school year. We have big plans tonight to go out and watch the US vs. England World Cup game. There is something strangely comforting about watching an event that is viewed all over the world; knowing that while I am sitting in Cambodia watching the game my family in america and my brother in Korea are all sitting watching the same game. We have so few points of commonality.

Another aside: as I was sitting in my hotel room a bit ago with a fellow volunteer, spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread with a nail file, we began discussing how much more creative we have become since arriving here. After nearly a year in Cambodia I am an expert at improvising. For example, when my metal clothes rack broke apart at the hinges last week did I go buy a new one? No. I wrapped small metal wire around the broken areas to hold the bars together and then wrapped it all with medical tape. Maybe not quite like new, but it gets the job done and saved me a good $6!

One of the side effects of my trip to America has been a refreshed eye for the strange. Strange (by American standards) things happen all the time in Cambodia but you forget that they are strange, and forget to see the humor, after a while. For example: last weekend I went to buy a bus ticket to Siem Reap and instead ended up on a motor oil selling expedition. Before I went to visit America I would have thought nothing of it. Now I recognize that that is in fact strange.

Other things to appreciate include violent food poisoning on my birthday. Thanks Cambodia. Now in America this would be oh so depressing. In Cambodia it means an extra night in an air conditioned hotel room with wifi guilt free. Score!

On another note; this week I was in Phnom Penh for mid service medical exams. I got a clean bill of health except that the dentist told me I had SIX, cavities. I didn't believe him so I went back the next day with our Peace Corps Medical Officer and they did x-rays. I only had two cavities (much better than six) which I had to have filled. So, yesterday morning I got two fillings from a khmer dentist, without novocaine. Ouch.

So, I generally keep my blog on the funny side, but now and again I suppose it ought to take a more serious note and reflect more of the way I believe and feel. So here goes. I returned to Cambodia about a week and a half ago, and it was hard. People keep asking me if it was difficult to come back and I have been trying to figure out how to answer. Yes, coming back here is difficult, its hard to readjust your body to the heat and the noise. But mostly it was the leaving America that was hard, not the coming back to Cambodia.

While being home with people I love was invaluable and grounding in a lot of ways it also served to remind me, once again, that spending two years in Cambodia is a sacrifice. I got to watch two of my very best friends get married (Erika and jacob!), but I don't get to be there to watch them grow as a couple, or offer the kind of day to day support we all need from those we love. I got to spend time with one of my best friends from home and her little girl (Casee and Lila!), but I dont get to be there to watch her grow. I got to see friends who are engaged (Megs, Lindsey...), but I don't get to be present for their big days. I can attempt to stay in touch, to be a support from the other side of the world, but I know it isnt the same as being there.

Spending time with my family, with friends, and mentors while I was home reminded me of who I am, who I am striving to be, what I believe, and why I am here. Now I am at a point of needing to decide how to proceed from here, not necessarily in action but in attitude. I am no evangelist, but I do strive to make decisions in my life in accordance with where I believe the Lord is directing me. I felt prompted to come to Cambodia, and now I need to wrap my mind around what that means so that I can love the people I came here to serve. I keep thinking about this song called "the road to jericho," the chorus says "if lovin were easy it wouldnt be love." That has never rung more true to me than it does here. Never in my life have been in a situation of service in which I have to work so hard to think lovingly and act lovingly. I sent a message to a good friend before I left simply asking "why am I doing this again?" and the response I got was "because the Lord chose you to be love to that nation," and I thought hmmmm....How can I be love to a place that DRIVES ME NUTTTTTTTTTS?! I have grown to care very many for many of the people I live and work with in my community, but there are also many things about Khmer culture that are difficult for me to cope with (like loud speakers and attitudes towards women). Perhpas that's what I am here to learn. How to choose to think and act lovingly when it doesn't come effortlessly.

So the gist is this; I have spent a lot of time wondering why I am here. Leaving everyone back home is easier, arguably, when you can see tangibly why you left them. I can't right now, things move so slow here. However, I came to Cambodia in full confidence that the Lord wanted me in Cambodia and I will stay here until I have full assurance that the Lord wants me somewhere else, whether I understand my reason for being here or not. In the book of Luke (9:62) it says "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God," While I fail all the time to be a reflection of Christ, I want to be a woman fit for service in His kingdom. So, to those back home, I miss you, I love you, and I am so thankful for your support, and I continue to need your encouragment. I will continue to love you and miss you for as long as I am gone, but I "put my hand to a plow" so to speak and I will keep moving forward until directed not to. Now I think it's time to get back to site and get my A$$ in gear.

Much Love.

me and my dad dancing at his wedding

Erika and her bridesmaids

So I am now back in Cambodia after a 2.5 week trip to America and would like to regale you all with tales of my air travel.

On my way to America I took a 6+ hour bus ride down to Phnom Penh from my site (in the NW of Cambodia for those of you unaware) to arrive at the airport 4 hours before my flight. In America that’s no big deal. You check in and then proceed through security and go hang out at some fine dining facility or something while you wait for you flight. In Cambodia it’s a bit trickier. You cannot check in at the ticket counters until about 1.5 hours before your flight. Now for those of you unable to do simple addition/subtraction, that means I had 2.5 hours to kill in ticketing. Had I been in a different state of mind, the ordeal might have been irksome. However, the airport has free wifi and air conditioning so I was HAPPY (they even have toilet paper praise Jesus).

As I was sitting there at ticketing in the Phnom Penh airport facebook stalking some of you fine people, a group of airport security and immigration officers began to accumulate around me. After some time they spotted my profile picture (which was me with my host sister in khmer wedding clothes) and started asking questions. They were very excited that I knew Khmer and we chatted for a good hour. It was, to be truthful, a bit obnoxious. I just wanted to check my email and enjoy the all too infrequent fast wireless access. However, I was soon to find that it pays to be nice, and apparently to know Khmer. When it was finally time to go to the ticket counter one of the immigration officers took my passport and filled out all of my departure information, then escorted me through the first class line for ticketing, he then took me through the diplomats and officials line of passport control, he went with me through security, and then carried my bags to my gate. While none of this was at all necessary, it certainly expedited the process and made for a good laugh.

On my way back from America I had the pleasure of transiting through Shanghai. Barefoot. Let me preface this story by stating that I now harbor great animosity towards the Shanghai Airport as a facility but do not extend this displeasure to those individuals employed within the facility. So, I left Seattle early Tuesday morning with a lot of tears and last phone calls to friends and family. I got on a plane and flew a couple hours to San Francisco. By the time I made it to California I had calmed down for the most part. I was still rather sad but had pulled myself together. That was until, in the process of hauling a$$ to my gate, my shoe broke. My really expensive, supposed to last forever, chaco shoe broke. This would not be a big deal if I was traveling within America. While home, I spent a week down in Oregon, had my shoe broken then I would have just fetched one of the other 15 pairs I had in the back of my car. In route back to Cambodia, however, I had one pair of shoes. Fortunately I was stable enough at that point to recognize the humor of it. Being barefoot in an airport isn’t all that bad. I got on the plane, shoe-less, and flew 13.5 hours to Shanghai. This brings me to my bitter tirade about the Shanghai airport. It makes ZERO sense. It is not at all logical. It does not have good signs/direction indicators, and it’s a royal pain. Here’s a hint for anyone transiting through Shanghai in the future. Do not follow the signs that say “international transfers/departures” they are lying. You actually have to follow the “domestic arrivals” signs even though you are never leaving the airport. Once you follow the domestic arrivals sign you will have the pleasure of going through a health check (you know so you don’t contaminate the outside-of-the-airport-China you have no intention of visiting), then passport control and immigration to being questioned by multiple individuals about why you don’t have an address and phone number, or visa for a country you have no intention of visiting. Then, you get to collect your checked baggage and go through customs only to go through ticketing, then back through passport control, back through customs, and back through security. Does this make sense to anyone? This whole ordeal was made great only by the fact that I did it all barefoot. I looked around too, I was definitely the only person without shoes. The two saving graces are as follows: 1) I wandered into a little shop and a nice woman helped me purchase some hot pink silk slippers so that I would at least have some manner of footwear when I arrived in Cambodia. 2) Somehow in all of this craziness I ended up with a first class seat I certainly didn’t ask for and definitely didn’t pay for. So, to the man at the ticket counter who gave me a boarding pass to first class; my sincere thanks Sir.

My two weeks at home were wonderful. The opportunity to spend time with my family and friends was invaluable and I am so thankful I was able to be present for my dad’s wedding and able to be in my best friend’s wedding. Now I just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things here!

I always tend to end up at random events with my school director and co-teachers with roughly 20 minutes to an hour notice. I ended up at the equivalent to a house warming party earlier this month after having a meeting with my school director to discuss my ideas for the rest of the school year and summer. As this event was rather far away I was picked up by the vice director in his car. I did not know before-hand, but soon learned that riding in a car is an appropriate justification for getting drunk. If only I had known that during my college years… Anyway I got to the housewarming party and this time, for a nice change of pace, there was actually another woman at the table! After a short amount of time the cheers began and cans of beer kept appearing before me. When I began to indicate that I had no intention of drinking more I heard the new justification “DRINK!!!!! YOU ARE RIDING IN A CAR…FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP!” There are three factors thus far that have ensured my safety and sobriety in such instances 1) I can drink more than they expect without effect, 2) Khmer people think that getting red in the face is a sign of drunkenness and drunkness is an appropriate excuse to cease consumption. As an inevitable side effect of my white-ness I turn red when it is hot, and Cambodia is REALLY hot, so I pretty much look drunk anytime I am in a party tent crammed with people, and 3) I can always count on one of my co-teachers to tell everyone that I am plastered so they won’t try to make me drink more. These factors may not bode well for my reputation in the long run (depending on who you ask!) but alas, I will continue to be able to leave parties standing :)

Shortly after the housewarming party I went to a wedding with my host family. They graciously gave me plenty more than 20 minutes notice. As I do not yet have wedding clothes I had one of my host sisters help me select a suitable outfit. This however proved unnecessary. I got bedazzled. Literally, From the top of my head down to the ankles. When we arrived at the restaurant where the wedding was to be held I was quickly ushered into a hut where the women in my host family were gathered for hair and makeup. They thought it would be super fun to dress me up. I confess, it was super fun/hilarious. I had my makeup done more or less the same way my host sister (who was a bridesmaid) had hers done. I however am white, SO, dark purple, hot pink, and black eye-shadow, paired with heavily penciled eye brows, fake eyelashes, and hot pink blush, make me look… well… different. I was fully prepared to walk around with my facepaint whilst sporting my western attire but my family had other plans. First they changed out my normal jewelry for bling, including diamond rings, earrings, necklace, and a gold charm bracelet. Again I was content to sport my half-3/4 khmer-ness but the family would not have it. They brought extra wedding clothes for me to complete the look. Once I was fully bedazzled my yay promptly stationed me at the entrance with the wedding party to greet the guests. It was pretty amusing, made for some good photo ops, and a lot of double takes.

I have been particularly accident prone this month. My best move was perhaps when I was relocating with a sewing project and somehow managed to put a needle about a third of the way through my hand. I had fun explaining the bruise that filled most of my palm the following week or so. Shortly after that I gave myself some mild electrocution with my mosquito zapper. Ouch.

On quite a different note; the next time I update this I will be in America. Only for a couple of weeks, but still...weird.

This week I had a catastrophe. Now, on the whole these days I am doing quite well. On a day in and day out basis I feel quite content in my general surroundings and have very little cause for complaint. My one big issue with this country remains noise. Cambodia is loud. I told this to one of my co-teachers recently and was rather startled to see his confusion. He actually told me that he thought Cambodia to be a quiet and tranquil place. Surely this is because he has never been anywhere else, and having been raised here he does not register the cacophony that is this country. I do not think I have gone a single day in this country without some period of time filled with music, speeches, or chanting monks being played over loud speakers with very bad sound quality. Thus, when my i-pod died I was beyond distraught. I actually cried. It was inconceivable to me that I could continue living in this country without it! I am glad to report, however, that my father took pity on me and aided me in buying a new one. Sanity restored. Crisis averted.

The last several weeks have been fairly uneventful otherwise. I have had very little school due to exams and grading of exams and holidays and so forth. My host "sister" was visiting from Phnom Penh over Chinese New Year and that was a lot of fun. She is close to my age and knows a fair amount of english so I had a great time with her. It was also helpful in learning things about the family. For example, I finally figured out where Foo came from and why he lives with his Yays. I learned that our neighbors may or may not be peeping toms. That was a fun conversation. "Cher, my grandmother says maybe you be careful in your room because the neighbors are not so polite." WHAT!? I also learned that Khmer people think airconditioning gives them acne. I find this hilarious since Americans in Cambodia think a lack of AC gives them acne, but alas, both may be true.

Now for some of the "bests" over the last couple weeks:

Best moment at site: I was teaching english at the health center and the nurses were trying to get me to eat some treats. I told them I would only eat one because I want my clothes to fit when I go back to America to visit in April. I then told them I need to exercise more. They then dragged me into a back room where they pre-natal check-ups and turned on the tv. As it turns out that had recently recieved a "Salsa-cise" dance work out video which they are now doing twice a day monday through friday. It was one of the most hilarious things I have seen in this country. I fully intend to begin salsa-cising regularly when I get back to site (I am in PP right now for in service training).

Best PC Staff moment: I will have to give a little background on this one. Khmer people LOVE tiger balm. For those of you who may not know –Tiger balm is a menthol-esque chap-stick like substance that people use for all kinds of purposes. We barangs use it primarily to lessen the itch of mosquito bites and occasionally for blocked sinuses and headaches (a little tiger balm on the temples or under the nose…) Khmer people however, use it for any ailment you might imagine. We all joke with each other about this. When someone has a medical problem or an injury or something the immediate response from one of us is usually “oh did you put tiger balm on it?” You might think this is an exaggeration but a quote from this week’s in service training proves that it is not. We were discussing safety and security concerns and road safety was one of the topics brought up. We got onto the topic of what to do if you are in an accident or view an accident. One of our staff members started suggesting steps of things to do if you witness an accident where someone is injured. It went something like this: “First maybe you move the person out of the middle of the road. Then maybe you see if you can get anything to help them, like if they need some tiger balm.” I don’t think we all meant to laugh. But we all did. It was just so perfect.

Best text messages of the week: “sister, what do Sunbunny and Snowbaby mean?” Or "Sister, what is a meat pie?"

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out in my room drawing a picture (since that’s what I do these days) and my little sisters came up and told me I should go outside because their grandmother wants to know me. I was confused since I was fairly sure I was living with their grandmother. It was however, another grandmother, one that lives about 30K north of us. It was a good opportunity for me to spend some time with the family, and one of the visitors spoke good English and was able to translate some questions my Yays (grandmothers) had. The most impressive part was that I went through a 45 minute conversation in Khmer without a single person asking me if I had a husband or boyfriend. That has got to be some kind of record for a first meeting.

I was sitting in the teacher “lounge” at school a couple weeks ago minding my own business when one of my co-teachers informed me that my school director wanted me to attend a wedding with him roughly 45 minutes later. I figured hey, free lunch, why not?! So I ended up going, in my teaching clothes, to this wedding with my school director and about 9 other Khmer men from my school. Details of this event are perhaps unnecessary; I think the overview will suffice. In the course of lunch I have no idea how many beers were poured into my glass while my head was turned. What I do know is that eating a whole duck with chopsticks is difficult without alcohol in your system but virtually impossible with it and when people start yelling “FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP” at you in Khmer, it is time to go home! My heart-felt apologies to all disappointed staff of TK High School, I do not chug. (for the record though, it was a lot of fun and a good opportunity to build relationships with the male-dominant staff of the school at which I teach)

Recently a couple of members of our Peace Corps Medical staff visited me at my site just to check things out and get some paperwork done. This turned out to be a pretty eventful visit. For starters it gave me an opportunity to communicate some things with my host family. I really love the family that I live with, but I also spend a lot of time by myself. This can be misconstrued in this culture as a lack of regard for the family. I wanted to make sure they knew that I really care about their family and am very happy with the living situation. It was nice to be able to communicate this and receive reciprocated assertions of the families regard for me. It was just a comfort to know that they enjoyed having me there and did not doubt my appreciation and affection for their family. In addition, during this trip I found out some interesting facts about the family. Most interestingly I found out that they are from Phnom Penh originally but came to Battambang during the forced evacuation of Phnom Penh during the Khmer Rouge. They stayed up north because there was so much rice! During this visit I was also able to ask a lot of questions at the health center about what issues they encountered most and that evening I was able to watch a delivery with two of the nurses from my health center. It was totally cool, but I might choose never to pro-create after watching it!

This past weekend I decided to embark on an epic journey. I decided to take a trip to Phnom Penh with my host family. Now I will start off by explaining that many of us laugh at the way many Khmer people travel. It is not all efficient. Usually in route to a given destination the bus will stop at least twice as often as necessary at some rest stop like area or another. It was really amusing for me to travel with my host family because they are the reason the bus stops so often. They packed huge amounts of food with them for the 6+ hour bus trip, and yet every time the bus stopped they got off and bought more food.

While in Phnom Penh we stayed with some extended family and all went out to dinner together the first night. I sort of thought we were going somewhere special because the whole family bathed and put on good clothes before leaving. As it turned out, the special dinner out was at a fast food fried chicken place in the “super market” (ie: SORYA mall) It was actually really fun eating American food with my Khmer family. We also took a brief trip to the arcade where I was reminded yet again that children are roughly the same everywhere. The next day was the big event.

We left around 12:00p for the water park and returned to the house just before 6:00p. It was exhausting but so much fun. I got to spend the whole afternoon going down water slides, giving mini swimming lessons, and just playing with my little khmer sisters (breakdown: I live with the mother of one of my health center nurses. I went to Phnom Penh with the nurse, her husband, their two daughters and two nieces. Also with us at the water park was the older sister of two of the girls, and her best friend, as well as two other kids whose relation to the family I am not sure of!) It was great to have that time with the family, especially the 4 girls that live with me (well, technically next to me). It was also really fun to spend time with two girls closer to my age (both were 19) who are studying fields I am interested in (pharmacology and nursing I think) in Phnom Penh. In addition, it was really fun watching the reactions of people when they saw me and then realized who I was with. I had two favorite moments during this afternoon. The first was my little sisters yelling “CHER! BARANG TIET!” which translates to “Teacher! More foreigners” excitedly whenever we saw another white person. The second and best was this: on one of many trips down the big water slide some guy went down the slide too soon after one of the older girls and kicked her pretty hard. She was not happy about this, so when she saw him getting ready to go down the slide again she waited at the bottom then racked him over the head with an inner tube. I have rarely seen any feisty move from a young Khmer woman and this one took the cake. It made me really happy. The security guard (not lifeguard…security guard…at the pool in full uniform watching the water slide) also found it quite comical.

This past week was exam week. It was very relaxed and gave me ample opportunity to think about projects for next semester and begin planning how the next several months might go.

AND text of the week: "I can't help it, I'm a sucker for drunk women who saunter up to me at four on tuesday and remind me that they can make me 'happy happy.'"

Highlights of the week:

1)While I am beyond sad that Katie is leaving, our trip to Angkor Wat was definitely a highlight of my service to date. Now, had I gone to Angkor Wat 5 or so months ago when I first arrived in Cambodia, the day would likely have looked different. We would probably have enjoyed the anonymity of being in a sea of foreigners, and felt very much at home with them, we would likely have had a strict itinerary and stuck to it, we would likely have gotten annoyed when our driver stopped at random places we did not ask to stop at, and we probably would have been completely overwhelmed by the children trying to sell us stuff. As it was we ended up spending a good portion of our trip to Angkor Wat talking to kids about when they went to school, where they went to school, and why they were not currently getting ready for school. I spent a good chunk of time over my morning coffee helping an 11th grade Khmer boy with his English homework. We spent a good amount of time meandering through random temples we had no intention of stopping at, we took lots of obnoxious photos with complete disregard for silly things like ropes, and we both felt completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of foreigners.

2)After receiving several Christmas packages (thanks to all who sent them!) I have a new appreciation for exfoliating soap. In America I never really understood the appeal of exfoliating soap. I mean I got it in principle but I did not appreciate it. I received a bar of exfoliating soap in a package of miscellaneous goodies from my aunt Kris and my grandma, and I have to say that bathing with said bar of soap left me feeling perhaps the cleanest I have felt in this country. Dirt has a way of getting into your pores and the creases in your skin here so that you can bathe and still rub dirt off of yourself. Not so with the exfoliating soap. This handy item also provides mosquito bite relief while bathing. So, a special thanks to my aunt and grandma, and anyone who wants to send me exfoliating soap in the future is more than encouraged to do so :)

3)Favorite Foo moment: I was sitting on a table outside my house watching TV with the fam when Foo (the 2 year old) spit into a small toy (kind of looked like a little plastic drum with one of the sides missing) and handed it to me. I took it and looked at him and he stared up at me with his tiny little adorable Khmer child face and said “niam at?” which loosely translates to “are you gonna eat it?” Thanks Foo, but no. I think I will pass on eating spitty plastic toys.

4)Favorite quote of the week: After church last Sunday one of the members of the congregation who knows pretty good English asked if I wanted him to tell me what the pastor had been preaching on. I said yes and he began to break down the message which was on Philippians 4:4-7. He helped me translate a bunch of stuff into Khmer and talked about the points the pastor had made about them but the best one was this: his summary of Philippians 4:6, “God says dear brother sister, everybody you must happy happy.” Now the pure simplification of this is funny but I think you may need to live here to fully appreciate the humor in this. Another volunteer here recently asked some Khmer people why they listened to music over loud speakers SO ridiculously LOUD so often and the response was “Kampuchea jole jchet supbai supbai” which translates to “Cambodia likes happy happy.” So of course God would command all of the brothers and sisters to be happy happy.

5)Text message of the week: "Uh Vatana just called me about stool samples. Maybe I don't want to et (early terminate) afterall..."

A couple more serious notes: I had a b it of a heart wrenching moment at school this week. There is a grade 9 boy at my school who appears to have cerebral palsy. I have seen him around all year and have asked all the teachers who speak English what his disability is and no one seems to know. They always just tell me that he cannot speak but he can learn. The other day I was sitting with one of the teachers at my school and this student walked up with a note asking her to ask me whether we have people “the same as” him in America. I know it is beyond anything I can understand or identify with, and difficult anywhere, but I cannot imagine how hard it must be to be like him in a place where the majority of people do not understand much if anything about it. To not even know if there are other people around the world who are experiencing life in the same way he is. It does present an interesting issue as far as the importance of names goes. We are so focused in the western world on what a condition is called. We want to know what we have. It isn’t enough to just recognize the traits exhibited and address those; we need to have a label to smack on it. While it has been confusing for me that no one here seems to have names for such things, in some ways it does not seem to matter. They recognize what his abilities are and have found ways to work with them thus allowing him to get to get an education as a non-verbal teenager. It’s pretty impressive!

On a sad note; my closest friend here has decided to go back to the states. There were a number of things that played into her decision and while I will certainly miss her I think that her leaving holds some important lessons. Katie has many qualities, not the least of which is a huge giving heart for other people that made her an awesome volunteer. However, there is an economy to time and every time you make a decision to do something, you are intrinsically making a decision not to do something else. If in the things you are doing you find that you cannot be at your best, than perhaps your time can be better given, and your life a greater service to others, in a context in which you can be your best. There are certainly trials in most anything you put your hand to but learning to assess whether those trials are growing your character or breaking your spirit is an important lesson and knowing when to push through and when to say enough is invaluable.

I thought I would start off my first blog entry of 2010 with a list of resolutions for the year. That way you all can call me out on them :) :

1)Be better at life. Pretty general. More specifically I want to be more bold about seeking out resources and pursuing projects/opportunities in my community. I want to be more enthusiastic about teaching crappy curriculum to students who could not care less half the time. I want to work on finding a good balance between caring for myself and giving of myself for the sake of the people I came here to serve.

2)Learn to resist the RAGE that boils up in me whenever there is a “biti” (celebration) in town. I hate loud speakers, but I have got to learn to fight the BITI RAGE.

3)Grow out my finger nails. I say it EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Never happens. Oh well, lets try again 2010.

4)Vomit less. I want to learn to master my slightly inane tendency to become ill when extremely nervous or emotionally stressed. Not sure if this is physically possible, but I am going to give it a go. I give anxiety too much of a stronghold in my daily life.

Now for a short list of favorites:

1)Favorite slogan: “It’s America time!” Miller Beer

2)Favorite question from a co-teacher: “What do you call it in English when you stand in a line a put one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of you? What do you call it when you stand with your hand behind your back and one foot forward?” I have also been asked rather important burning questions like “what is a magnetron tube, duvet cover, corn dog, caramel corn, safety product recall, etc…”

3)Favorite misuse of the English language: One of the teachers at my school does not understand that the word “especially” is meant to go with an adjective. That outfit is especially pretty. You look especially nice today. Etc… She uses it like an adjective itself and I refuse to correct it because it makes me unreasonably happy when I hear phrases like “your hair looks especially today” or “beyonce dances especially.”

4)Favorite conversation with a stranger: This is a toss up. Both come from New Years in Siem Reap. We had a great time (me and a group of female volunteers) in the market in Siem Reap shopping for dresses for new years eve. There are a ton of tourists there so it is especially (haha) shocking when a foreigner speaks some Khmer. We of course had fun with this and made friends with lots of the sellers in the market. My favorite conversation was with a woman I bought a dress from who spent a good while convincing me that it was okay to buy this rather short tight dress because “sexy girl ok Siem Reap.” I told her where I actually live and she laughed and kindly informed me that maybe “sexy girl not okay battambang, but ok New Year Siem Reap." She also more than cut the prince of the dress in half when she found out I lived in Cambodia. Nice bonus. That night we were out at a fine drinking establishment known as “Angkor What” celebrating the new year when a random norweigan man asked me if he had seen me in the market earlier. I said yes probably, and he inquired whether I knew Khmer. I said yes a little, and his response was “that’s hot.” Another group of guys informed us that being in the Peace Corps is also “hot.” Who knew?

5)Favorite host family moments: I came downstairs the other day and my little sisters/nieces I guess, had tied leggos to the bottom of their shoes and were “ice skating” on a wooden table top. It was precious. They then serenaded me with a number of English songs they had learned in school. Foo, the 2 year old, is one of my favorite humans. This week my favorite Foo moments included him getting PISSED that I cannot understand his tiny little voice, him crying when we left for English class at the health center (me, one of my health center nurses, and the 4 girls), and coming outside in the morning to find Foo squatting on the side of the main highway in Cambodia outside the family shop taking care of business. This phased no one.

So I moved. I refrained from writing about it until the issue had resolved itself. Now, after two months, it finally has. As you all know, I really enjoyed the family I was placed with at my permanent site. There was just one big problem. My bedroom did not have real walls. Two of them were plastic siding that you couldnt even lean on and didn't even block out light, least of all noise. One of them was actually a curtain which separated my room from a drop off into the living room below. This also was not so great for sound proofing. While I loved the family it became more and more difficult to continue living with them with no means to get away and have a retreat from the constant noise of living with a large family. When I began realizing how much it was effecting my sleep and health, I realized a change would be necessary. This is something I felt a large amount of anxiety and guilt about. Not only did I want to avoid offending the family and be able to maintain relationships with them but I was also battling feelings of failure and selfishness that I just could not maintain my sanity, health, and happiness in that living situation. Slowly but surely I have come to make peace with the fact that I do have needs and that is okay. I don't need lush accomodation. I do not need running water or toilet paper. I can do without TV and internet. Etc...and so forth. But, I need to have space to think. I need a quiet space to get away to. That is not something I will ever be able to compromise and stay healthy. And that is okay.

I moved a few days before Christmas into a home with two yays (grandmothers) and a 2 year old boy. I live next door to one of my health center nurses and 4 darling girls (8-12). The space I have been provided to live in is large, clean, and lovely, and most importantly, peaceful. My new family has made me feel welcomed into their home. They even had a surprise "welcome to the family" dinner party for me my first night there. I feel so fortunate to finally have this issue resolved in such a positive way and feel ready to really dig in after the holidays.

My first Christmas away from home was spent with Jayne, one of my closest friends from the states. We spent Christmas eve with another volunteer at my site then headed into Phnom Penh on Christmas afternoon. We spent some quality time eating cheese and crackers watching really bad Christmas TV movies then proceded to meet up with some other PCVs for dinner and drinks. I can honesly say it was my first Christmas at a night club experience. As much as I missed my home and my family during the holiday it was a huge blessing to have Jayne here and it was great to finally have "lock down" over so that we could meet up with other volunteers for a few days of R&R.

Now back to the real world. Well until New Years :)

I this week I decided to try something new. I gave an actual creative assignment to one of my classes. After they got over their shock and rage however, they turned in some great work. The assignment was to make their own advertisment. It has to include a title for the product, a picture of the product, price, and one persuasive "if...must" statement. The folowing is a list of some of my favorite quotes from the assignment:

1)" WElcome! Welcome! every body who is the customer that always want light teeth and beauty; dont forget number 1 special toothpaste for every body's tooths and mouth called "toothpaste herbal natural" it made frome nature really! really!...if you have bad smell in your mouth nobody want to near you, so you must buy toothpaste and that toothpaste is "herbal natural" that make you life to be happy, don't worry about problem of mouth and teeth.”

2)“If you have wedding or join the party you always need jewelry to make more your beauty.”

3)“...if you want your teeth have healthy teeth you must use toothpaste to recive what good in your life and future. It has polite cost for you. Moreover when you used toothpaste produce SARAHA you must get what good to others. And when you say with someone makes them like you because you have smell good teeth nice and they are interesting with you so much.”

4)“Wellcomes! Wellcomes! All of customers that have an attention to buy clothing...if you want to make your body so good and you want a modern or ancient clothing. You must buy them in our shop...”

5)“It have a good smell for you if you used it your hair must will smooth all time. Harry up hary up will not hopeless.”

and my personal favorite,

6) “New information buy two give one” (somehow not quite what I think this student meant to say)

While the english in these may be in need of a little help, I vastly appreciated the critical thought my students put into advertising their products :)

And here are a fwe assignment quotes from students of a fellow volunteer:

"If I met the president of the US, I would say “love.”

"If I was a bird I would fly to see your face every day and all night…”

"I wont take a bath unless you near me…."

So most of my blogs to date have been either random stories or updates on the daily occurrences of my life, or sarcastic musings about the ridiculous things I have encountered in this country. Thus, I think it is time that I provide a little insight into those things which Cambodia does better.

1)Fruit: Not only does Cambodia have a wealth of fruit variety unheard of in America, but the fruits we have in common are better here (with the exception of apples). Oranges are sweeter here. Bananas come in like 800 varieties and all of them are better than anything you can buy in America. Most significant, to me, is watermelon. I do not like watermelon in America. I think it is a nasty gritty substance that tastes like water trying to be something else. In Cambodia watermelons are about a 3rd of the size of watermelons in America and it is as though you took all of the flavor in a big American watermelon, multiplied it by 2, and jammed it into the tiny watermelon. When they go out of season I will be very sad (my host family has had a bowl of watermelon with lunch and dinner every day for a good two weeks now).

2)Naptime: In my experience, and it varies from family to family I am sure, Cambodians nap (in hammocks generally) every afternoon, usually during the heat of the day. It is really nice to come home from work and have a couple hours of relaxation before going back to work.

3)Rice: While eating it 3 times a day every day is maybe not better, the rice itself tastes better.

4)Bathroom floors: Ok so I would most definitely prefer to have running water, and no mosquitos, and a variety of other bathroom features. However, the bathroom floor design in Cambodia (and many other countries) is in my opinion, better. All of the floors are tile or concrete with a drain. This is convenient for many purposes (not just the obvious one of needing somewhere for the water from you bucket showers to go) that are as follows: 1) When ill you can vomit on the floor with easy cleanup, this is my most appreciated advantage to the floor drain 2) If you spill anything on the floor in general, no prob. 3) When you brush your teeth you can spit on the floor. I know this is not necessary if you have a sink, but it is still kind of satisfying in a weird way. 4) You no longer need things like floor mats to keep your floor dry. It’s not supposed to be dry. It’s a bathroom. A room for bathing.

5)Wedding clothes: Not only are they way better for making one feel like an 80’s rock star, but you also get to wear like 8 different dresses for your wedding. That is the feature I like best. When you get married (a 2 or 3 day affair here) you don’t have to pick that one perfect dress, you get to pick like 8 perfect dresses and play makeover for 3 days. Sweet.

6)Text messages: They are just better. As a whole, way more entertaining and they make far less sense. For that matter, use of english is better here in many ways. Or more comical at least. Like when my co-teacher asks me if he can say "rub it out" in place of "erase the chalk board" or when one of the female teachers at my school tells me that my hair looks "especially" today. And on that note the text of the week goes to either:

1) In response to a text I sent about rats in my bed.... "Just your Cambodian snuggle buddies... You know, compliments of the Peace Corps."

2) OR "I want to ask you some questions. The sentence 'this is the color yellow,' and this is the yellow color. Which one is correct or both are correct?" This is only funny because I got it from my co-teacher at about 10:00 at night and then again from another co-teacher the following morning around 5:45am.

Not really. But there were a few significant events this past week that were just ridiculous, maddenning, hillarious, or some other extreme emotion.

#1) This week I was told I am fat for the first time in my life. I don't think I have actually gained weight here, and if I have, not much. But the other day I was sitting minding my own business eating breakfast when my host brother walked over pointed at my stomach and informed me that I had gotten fat after only 2 months here and would behuge by the end of two years. Thanks Cambodia.

#2) Yesterday I was walking down to take a shower when I get hit in the face with a bat. The animal not the sporting equipment. Thanks Cambodia.

#3) While in class earlier this week I got a phone call from an unknown number. I answered it. It was a strange man. I said "who is this." He said "I am the monk." I do not know how a monk got my phone number, but now he has it and is texting me often. I might go hang with him at a pagoda this weekend. We shall see. This brings me to the text of the week (just for you dad, since you requested that this blog feature continue):

"Hi ! Nice 2 meet u again ! Hope 2 see you anyday. ok? Because, I 1 2 make friendship with u. Because u a good person. The old wood is the best 2 burn, the old book is the best 2 read, The old wine is the best 2 drink, The old friend is the best 2 keep 4ever... G.Luck 4 U....OK....And successfully in ur life."

Seems like the kind of text one should get from a monk they have never met right? Right. Thanks Cambodia.

As much as I may have previously been disinclined towards the teaching profession I find it is growing on me in Cambodia. There is something oddly endearing about hearing "hello cher!" wherever you go, whether you know the individual in question or not. I am finding that I am getting increasingly attached to my students and enjoying time in the classroom more and more. The following are some good "cher"statements from this week: "Cher, you are not normal." This was a statement in regaurds to my appearance. "Cher, you read good, I have made you a friend in my heart." And "cher, thank you from my heart you praise me." This occured on a visit I paid to the former host family of the previous PC volunteer. After sitting there a while a congregation of 12th grade girls formed around me and this was the response one of them gave me when I told her she spoke english very clearly.

This week I started teaching english at the health center as well. Already I feel vastly more "in" with the staff. I have also found that I very much like teaching adult learners. They are far less timid than my high school students...not to mention I don't have to follow a specific curriculum. They do, however, all call me "cher" now as well.

Other interesting occurances since I last wrote:

1) Rats LOVE butterscotch. My aunt Diane sent me a lovely (and much appreciated) care package with all kinds of goodies in it. Among these was a bag of dumdums. Earlier this week I went to retrieve one of the dum dums and found that a rat had gotten into the bag. What was interesting was that it had attacked ALL of the butterscotch suckers and NONE of the others. So there you have it. Rats seem to really enjoy butterscotch dum dums.

2) While in town a couple of weeks ago we paid a visit to one of the tailors whome we had made friends with on a previous occasion. We were having her finish the ends of several Kromas (plaid multipurpose peice of fabric people use as a headcovering among other things). She had a large bag of fabric scraps and, as I love to sew random little things, I asked her what she did with the scraps, and whether or not she would sell them. She ended up giving me a large bag of various peices of beutiful fabric, silks and satins in many colors (and refused to let me pay her). I was beyond excited by the possibility of all the fun things I could make! One of my first projects was a fun silk hair flower to repay her for her kindness.

3) I got prank called by a police officer, I think he may even be my commune police cheif. Theother day I am sitting on a bench outside the teachers lounge at school, enjoying the slightly cooler weather and watching some students play soccer, when my phone rings. I answer it and no one is there...I say "Hello, hello...." then here resounding laughter and turn around to find several teachers and the officer laughing and holding up his phone. Would this happen in America...prob not.

4) The other day at school one of the female teachers started petting my arm and asked me if my arm hair was natural. Huh?

5) I went to my first funeral this past week. My co-teacher's father-in-law passed away so I went to the funeral with two other teachers. This was not only culturally facinating but also an amusing event in several ways. For starters the co-teachers I went with rode bikes since I cannot ride a moto (this was actually a really kind gesture since people tend to avoid physical exertion when possible). The funny part was this: we met at the private primary school near my house and they just randomly took some little kids bikes. So, not only were they riding bikes, but one teacher wrode a bike with tires literally a foot in diameter, and the other rode a pink "turbo fairy" bike. Following them barreling down dirt rodes (with mud pits deeper than the small bike itself!)on bikes stolen from children, was beyond funny. Now, I had expected to be going to the family home and paying my respects, then leaving. But I had in fact been invited to the procession portion of the funeral in which the family and all guests walk the body to the family's wat. Had I know this I would not have sported never before worn closed toed mary-jane shoes from the states (it was finally cold enough to wear closed toed shoes). After walking about 3 miles I had bleeding blisters on both my feet. My co-teachers FLIPPED. I believe the exact statement made was "OH Meghan, I am soooo sorry I have made this happen to you!" While I certainly appreciated their concern, I was also exceedinly amused by the level of concern shown for an occurance all too commonplace to any high-heel loving woman in America.

6) Favorite text of the past couple weeks: "I loath wedding season. And whoever brought stereo systems to Cambodia- whatn an ass-hole." I could not agree more.

This weekend we were fortunate enough to have our language IST in which about 18 of us (mostly K3s and a few K2s) all gathered in Battambang town. In a thoughtful gesture, Peace Corps planned this to coincide nicely with Thanksgiving. Thanks to the efforts of our two provintial town volunteers, we were all able to celebrate the holiday together at a local restaurant complete with American football, smoked turkey, mashed potatos and gravy, sweet potatos, string beans, pie and ice cream. It was a phenomenal mean by all accounts. What was most surprising to me however, was how entirely content I felt. I certainly miss my family and would have loved to be with them for the holidays but felt no lament or regret to be exactly where I was. There was something great about being able to celebrate an American holiday in a traditional way here with so many people sharing this common (yet varying) experience. I also find it amusing that my first experience with sweet potatos was in Cambodia.

So it turns out that being healthy makes a big difference in how everything in life works out. Since getting back to site (after my long absence due to various illnesses) things have begun to pick up a lot. I am finally legitimately teaching (not just observing) and have actually been enjoying it quite a lot. I am still such a novelty that it is not difficult to get my students to pay attention, and fresh rediculousness abounds daily. My favorite was probably when, on my first or second day of teaching, the school's "crazy lady" came into the room and started yelling (I presume about politics) at the class while I was going over pronounciation of new vocab.

There have been several occasions of note in the last couple of weeks:

1) I discovered recently that I am turning into my mother. I have always mocked the woman for her obsession with holiday decorations, and the other day I found myself sitting in a hamock outside making individual thanksgiving table name cards for all of the volunteers I will be sharing the holiday with. The next day I made a trip to the market where I managed to purchase red and green fabric with the intention of sewing stockings for Christmas (since Jayne is coming to see me for the holiday!). I had a great time trying to explain to the group that gathered around my why I wanted to purchase this fabric. I ended up exaplaining that there was an important American holiday next month and that I wanted to make stockings (which I drew a picture of with a little present and an arrow going into the stocking). The tailor proceeded to measure from my heel to my knee. It would seem that the concept of stocking was relayed, but the concept of a stocking for decoration was lost in translation.

2) I found a tutor. She is the younger sister of one of my co-teachers and also tutored the K1 that was at my site before me. I am very excited about this. My Khmer needs help.

3)The other day we did not have school because it was Cambodia's independence day. One of my co-teachers invited me over to his house to meet his family and eat lunch. This turned out to be a big holiday lunch celebration complete with tons of food, lots of other teachers, and beer. My favorite part of this event was probably watching my co-teacher's wife killing a bag full of recently caught fish. She literally had to chase their wriggling bodies through the yard while wacking them with the back side of a large knife. It was an experience.

4) Random observation. The other day I was on the way to school on my bike, and was faced with an all too common brush with almost certain catastrophe. I had a huge semi rushing by me on one side and a team of slow going bikes on my other side. Then out of no-where I got cut off by a horse drawn cart. This is just a beautiful example of the odd contrast between modern and old-school so prevalent here.

5) I will begin teaching english at the health center next week. I have no idea how I am going to go about doing this but am sure I will figure it out before Wed. On that note. While at the health center last week one of my students showed up with his friend to install a tv so that patients could watch Khmer music videos (always epic) while waiting. They proceded to sit down and try and translate the songs for me. IT was hillarious. By the end of this session this boy stood up and said "Cher, I like you a lot. Do you like me?" I could not help giggling a little. BTW "Cher" is what comes out when Khmer students say teacher, in case that was not clear. Things like that remind me why I am here.

6) Awkward class moment. My co-teacher comes in and says to the class "you all look very nice and ready to learn today since you are wearing your name tags" not sure why they all had name tags but they did. He followed this up by saying "And students, look at sister Meghan, she looks very pretty today doesnt she?" There was resounding confirmation and I have rarely felt so uncomfortable. This was probably because I was looking especially Khmer that day. Complete with a collared shirt with large fake diamond buttons.

7) Best text message I have recieved to date: "Hi. MEG GEN. How a u to day, about your fell this time? U eat rice yet? What food? I can eat with you te? U remember i te? I'm _____. I hope u well health na but i not well te. Please u pray for i. GOD in u 4ever na. Bye"

I am sure I will have pleanty more updates soon!

OK so a couple of the other volunteers happened upon a massage place on a random side street in Battambang called "Seeing Hands Massage" or something like that and had a positive experience so I decided it was worth another go. Mind you, last time I took other people's word for a "good massage" I got kicked repeatedly in the V. So anyhow I went with another volunteer to this place run by blind individuals (hence the "seeing hands" title) and have to say it may have been one of the best massages I have ever had. So, SUCCESS. I have found a massage place in my provintial town and I feel like a whole new woman.

PS: Do not attempt to get a bikini wax in Battambang town (advice from an anonymous source)

So I have been sick. It's super lame. With what? Who knows. This is Cambodia. Could be all sorts of fun things. I am better now so it is inconsequential, though my mother is convinced it was swine flu. I guess we will never know. As lame as it has been to have zero energy and feel like crap-it has also had its upsides. For example, I have learned about lots of things that Cambodian people do when they are sick. One of these is coining, which is where they take tiger balm and a coin and rub it super hard along your back and neck, and sometimes chest (depending on the ailment) until you have nice linnear bruises. There is actually supposed to be some truth to the symtom releif that accompanies it, perhaps it activates your immune system...who knows. It was suggested that I undergo this process but I chickened out. Maybe next time. My two personal LEAST favorite things people do here when they are sick are as follows:

1) staying active, for some reason the concept of resting to let your body repair itself so non-existent.

2) Rice porridge. My host mom made me a HUGE amount of rice porrige (huge for someone with no appetite unaccostomed to eating such things), which is pretty much just smashed up rice in hot water. This was a kind gesture but I still couldn't eat it and when Peace Corps staff came through that evening to take me to a hotel in town to rest/recover my host mom looked at them and said "well, I gave her rice porridge but SHE didn't eat it." As if to say that I would be fine and not need to go into town if I had just eaten the gallon of rice porridge.

On the upside. I have been in an airconditioned hotel room for 3 nights and am feeling much more alive.

Yesterday was the first day I felt up to doing anything more than laying in my hotel room watching CNN. I ventured out on the town a bit more and discovered two interesting things:

1) Massages are never a sure thing here. I tried the "oil massage" option thinking there was no way it could be anything but what I was looking for - that being a back and neck massage to help with the headache and the stiffness from being in bed for a few days - turns out it was a massage of just about everything but your neck and back. Mostly legs actually. It was pleasant enough but the best part was at the end when the massage lady absolutely refused to let me put my bra back on by myself. I was confused...but have learned not to ask questions. I didn't really get what I was looking for out of the massage, my neck is still in pain and I am out some cash, but hey...I made a new friend.

2) I am no longer good at telling when western men are hitting on me. I found myself in a situation yesterday where I was confused as to whether or not I had just had a legitimate conversation or been fed a very bad line. This would not have occured in America. I was pretty good at spotting these things at home. Here I have grown used to the obvious; "you look beautiful today, do you want a khmer husband?...do you enjoy looking after children...?"

That's the latest.

This past Sunday I set off from the family restaurant close to 8:00am with the hope of figuring out how the parking system worked at the market and crossing my fingers that in making the trip I would figure out what time the church across the street started. It proved to be one of the better mornings I have had since arrival at permanent site. I wandered the market for a while chatting with some of the sellers and purchased a rather fantastic hair clip. It was in the shape of butterflies and flowers, but did not have glitter, and I felt that was an accomplishment. Eventually I wandered over to the church and. It was an interesting experience in general, all religious affiliations aside, but for me it was amazing how something still so foreign could feel so much like home. I was greeted very warmly and found myself at one point with a microphone at the front of the room talking about myself in Khmer. A little unnerving given how much I tend to detest such things! It was in a small one room building and began with worship songs sung from what looked like old hymnals led by the pastor followed by songs by different singing groups. One of these consisted of all the school aged children. The sermon followed and then various announcements and readings from other members of the congregation. Mom and Dad, I am sure if you are reading this you will note the uncanny resemblance this format has to 6th and Gibbs. I had the strangest feeling of being transplanted back in time 12-14 years except all of the people were Khmer and I couldn’t really understand anything! When it came right down to it this church reminded me uncannily of the church I attended with my family as a child (minus the gossiping old biddies…I think).

The fact that you can be a 22 year old female and legitimately be single is a confusing concept I am finding. Last week’s episode with my students indicated this, and this week a conversation with two primary school teachers confirmed it. In yet another discussion about my marital status with two unmarried women around my age I had a heck of a time explaining that I do not have a boyfriend in Cambodia OR in America. I explained that I used to have a boyfriend in America (or perhaps I have even had more than one in my life…) but do not have one now. To this they responded “so how old is your boyfriend in America?” When I finally got it across that I do not currently have a boyfriend anywhere in the world they proceeded to inquire: “so what will you do when a Khmer man falls in love with you? Will you love him back…?” I told them that no one is in love with me so it doesn’t matter. This answer was insufficient as supposedly “that is because you have only been here for 3 weeks, you will be here for 2 years and you are pretty so someone will love you.” I explained that it was important to me to have a husband who understands my beliefs and culture so most likely I would not love him back. To this I was told that I should wait until it happens, because maybe he will be very handsome and then I might love him. I am not used to having hypothetic conversations about my love life or to people being quite so interested in it.

So this last week I had a cough/sore throat; an ailment that seemed to be going around town. Unfortunately my 3 year old host niece caught it as well. I took a lot of airborn and many cough drops and it pretty much cleared up on its own. My host sister took her daughter to the doctor and came home with her hooked up to an IV. WHAT!? No my limited Khmer may not have been adequate to understanding the severity of the situation (however I am inclined to think it was not serious as yesterday she was on an IV and today she is breaking through my headphones with her high pitched little girl laughter) but I am pretty sure it was a cold. It seems like half the time people avoid seeking medical help and resort to things like coining and then when they do seek medical help it is over the top. Not sure though, purely speculation.

Some observations from the last several weeks...

You know are you are being desensitized when:

1) You see a hot monk. No lie, it happened this week and it was weird.

2) Tiny red ants invading your cereal do not deter you from eating it. In fact the chore of picking out the tiny red ants just makes the cereal last longer.

3) The knowledge of how many people will stare at you if you leave the house is no longer enough to keep you from leaving.

4) A rooster sticking its head in your window (on the second floor) in the morning is no longer alarming… it is simply time to get up.

5) Rats are only bothersome if they take your stuff or chew the crotch out of your underwear (shout out to Keiko).

You know you have not been completely desensitized if:

1) You still become irate when obnoxious music is blared from some non-descript location for hours on end (A problem perpetuated by the TV in your own home being turned up to an unearthly volume to compete with the music). Even though it happens every other day at least.

2) You have not yet learned to tune out chickens. I hate chickens now.

3) You are still grossed out by the smacking and slurping of food as well as relatively constant belching and spitting.

4) You still feel the impulse to yell “I AM NOT FRENCH I AM AMERICAN” every time someone yells “Barang” on the street (it is a term used for foreigners but actually means French).

5) You are still annoyed if you arrive when school starts and no one is there!

I am going to attempt this whole blog pre-write thing again. We shall see. Currently I am laying in bed attempting to write while being pelted every 20 seconds or so by the various bugs that are small enough to penetrate my pretty pink mosquito net. This is a minor nuisance except when one of the bugs goes for my eye, but this only happens every few minutes. I am also trying really hard to cough up a lung at the moment.

Last weekend was spent in Battambang town with all of the other volunteers in my province, in turns. I am learning rapidly that I will need to keep those trips to a minimum as I spend roughly 10-15X more money in a given day in town than I do at site (I usually spend about a $1.25 a day on food and that’s about it). It is however worth it for the occasional ice cream Sunday, plate of hashbrowns and toast, or pizza. While most of this weekend was spent eating (quite literally) it did have a purpose. On Monday afternoon all of the K3 volunteers in Battambang met with the POE (Provintial Office of Education) director. To my surprise all of our school directors were there as well. I had only met my school director once, briefly, and he had not been present for the Peace Corps meeting attended by other school directors. Thus, I was quite curious about what he might have to say. After the POE director gave us some information on the current situation with education in our province, he gave each of us and our school directors a chance to say something. All of the other school directors discussed issues they would like to see their volunteers address at their schools in the next two years, as well as mentioning bits about work don’t by previous volunteers. My school director however informed everyone that he would like to work closely with Peace Corps to change the moto policy (we aren’t allowed to ride them) because it makes transportation difficult for me. I could not help laughing at this as the moto policy is a source of irritation (necessary as it may be) for many people in more remote sites and has nothing to do with my role at the school.

The fun did not end at the meeting though, because this is Cambodia. I left the meeting with Katie (another K3) and headed to the taxi stand that heads to our sites. My site is north of Battambang town and Katie’s is west of me down a nasty dirt road. As it turned out, in the 2 days since we had left our sites, the road to Katie’s site had become conveniently under water. It was passable by large vehicle, but those weren’t running at 5:00pm. So we got to have a nice sleepover at my house. My host family generously put her up for the night, but I paid for it (figuratively speaking). You see, Cambodians (I have observed) LOVE to compare. The following day, after Katie had made it home, I got to hear all about the differences between us: “Katie knows more Khmer than you, she can listen to Khmer better and say more than you, but she has short hair and your hair is long. Why don’t you know as much Khmer as Katie?” and just in case it was not enough to compare me to Katie, they decided to dive into the comparisons with the K1 who was here before me. “Meghan, Teacher Liz knew a lot more khmer than you, you are smaller than her though. She knew how to eat more Khmer food than you. When she went back to America she cried because she did not want to leave. She will not forget us, but you maybe will forget. She ate fish and cuitio….” And so on and so on. It is just unfathomable to my family that I prefer other foods to cuitio (Chinese noodles with meat and veggies) for breakfast. Such is the lot of the first round of volunteers to fill replacement sites in Cambodia! I suppose I just need to remind myself that the previous volunteer is likely their only frame of reference to Americans, they want me to speak more Khmer because they care about communicating with me, and my choice to not eat cuitio for breakfast would be something like someone choosing to eat plain toast instead of waffles.

On a lighter note, it is always fun to compare stories of the ridiculous or amusing things that people say to us on a given day. Katie had some good ones this week. One of the male teachers at her school asked her “do you feel like a flower today,” the other morning. As we both found this puzzling I asked one of my male co-teachers what this meant. He informed me that a flower was a girl that boys liked to be around (boys are the birds and bees, hmmmm). So basically the teacher asked her if she felt like attracting men that day. Weird. She also got passed a note from a female teacher during a staff meeting which read “I want to sleep with you.” It took a fair bit to explain exactly what that would mean in America, and to decipher what the teacher had actually attempted to communicate. Language barriers, though annoying can certainly be cause for amusement as well.

This brings me to some of the more ridiculous things I experienced at school this week (though I do not think I can compare to having a teacher say they want to sleep with me). I have made the observation recently that every time I divulge my age to a class of students, they laugh. I was very confused as to why this would be the case. I have heard two possible explanations. The first, and most likely, is that some of my students are only slightly younger than I am, if not the same age. Due to failed senior exams, late starts in school, and a wealth of other reasons, I actually have some 11th grade students in their 20’s. The laughter is thus that I have finished “university” and am a teacher at the same age that some of them are finishing high school. I cannot imagine what it would have felt like to have a teacher the same age as me when I was in the 11th grade. The other possible reason I heard from one of my co-teachers was; “The students say you have a face like a doll.” So apparently they laugh at my age because I have a doll face. WHAT!?

So the other day I am in a new class and giving an introduction. I do the usual shpeal about myself and then start answering questions. One of the girls asked if I had a boyfriend. A question I have grown accustomed to getting from them (always followed by resounding laughter). So I said “no, I do not have a boyfriend.” At which point they of course laughed…but then…my co-teacher stood up and said “So, do you believe her?” and they all said “NO!” simultaneously. If I thought I could count on my co-teacher for some backup, I was sorely mistaken. He just said “I do not believe her either.” So basically I am a doll-faced lying little American.

Part way through this week I made a trip to the health center. It is only the second time I have gone as the first visit was slightly discouraging. The director had no idea who I was or that I was supposed to be working there one day a week for the next 2 years. It is tough for me to get over myself and go alone with my limited language ability and no set role. It really was quite fascinating though. They still had no idea what I was doing there but I was able to stay and observe for several hours. I watched baby checkups, various consultations, vaccinations, a malaria test…etc… all in the open waiting area of the health center. The whole confidentiality thing isn’t so much an issue here I think. The nurses seemed interested in having me teach English there in the afternoons, and while this is not how I pictured things going, it may turn out to be an excellent in. Some of the other health volunteers have had an easier go of things in terms of jumping into hands on work at their health centers, and I cannot help being a bit envious. I have to continuously remind myself that every site is different and it will take time to build relationships, to learn language, and to gain the trust of people in my community. I am reminded lately of something that my college pastor said once (shout out to M-Smith); that you can actually do more harm than good for the things you are most passionate about if you are ignorant about them (not a direct quote, but the sentiment is there). Basically, I cannot address the needs of this community if I do not take the time to learn what they are. Jumping in with my ideas of what should be done and how it should be done won’t really benefit anyone if the ideas are not generated from a genuine understanding of the needs of these people. So patience, patience, patience…not my strong suit, but I think if anything can teach it…

Some photos for your viewing pleasure.

A meal with the host fam

The children that frequent my house (host neice and nephew in the middle)

My host sister and neighbors making some sort of yummy treat

So I wrote out a huge long blog entry and forgot to save it in a format compatible to the computer I am now using. Genius. Anyhow the last two weeks have been a trip for sure. After a big western food party in our training village we all set off for Phnom Penh and swear in then it was time to really begin the journey. I have been in my permanent site for just over a week now and it seems like ages since I got here (in a good way). It is strange to think how quickly you can settle into a place.

I am writing right now from a computer in a primary school near my house. The director happens to also be an english teacher at my high school and has generously offered me the use of the schools internet. There has been no shortage to the generosity of people in welcoming me to this town though my host family has certainly gone above and beyond. It has taken no time at all for me to feel quite at home with them, perhaps because of the resemblance they bare to my own family in America. My host dad is a very quiet man who laughs alot, especially when I do something dumb. My host mom is seemingly a bit abbrasive and a bit nutty but is in actuallity every inch of the over attentive overly concerned mother hen (much like my real mom :)) I have had numerous knocks on my door at night because she suddenly became concerned that I had a fever or that the large mirror in my room needed to be properly secured so it didn't fall on my in the night. My host sisters are wonderful, as are their husbands, and their favorite passtime seems to be mocking me (much like my own caring siblings). There are a ton of kids around all the time and well I have to say kidsa re the same everywhere.

Since arriving here my family has taken care of everything from my meals to calling buses for me when I needed to go into town to procuring furniture i casually mentioned wanting.

Today was my 3rd day observing at the high school and I have been surprised by how much I have enjoyed it. While the lack of organized scheduling has been ocassionally frustrating I have found all of my coteachers thus far to be kind and eager to work with me, and I LOVE the students. I have had to do introductions at the beginning of each of the 11 classes I have sat in on so far and without fail I get qeustions from timid students about my family and whether I have a boyfriend or why I don't have a husband yet. I have been susrprised by how comfortable I have felt in front of them as someone who despises standing in front of people. The longer I am here the more I am seeing how much learning english can benefit these kids and afford them more opportunities for their futures and my excitement to be involved in education here is growing. On a more amusing note, one of the older teachers at the school in formed me the other day that he was puzzled by me because Americans are supposed to be big and strong, but I am little like a Khmer girl. Thus I have been here a week and have already been dubbed "the little American."

I have had no shortage of interesting experiences here. My favorite was a few nights ago. My neighbor informed me in the afternoon that that night would be a full moon, she said "tonight there is a full moon so we will meet together and eat nome (friend breads...dessert sorta.)" I was like...why yes of course, there is a full moon so naturally we would meet together and eat nome. WHAT!? That night after dinner I went to my sister's house where neighbors and friends were gathered. There were tables out in front of all the houses with candles, insense, and bowls of fruit and nome. There will children running around with paper lanterns and the whole thing was quite beautiful in an odd way. I am still not entirely sure what was going on but I think they were offering food to their passed relatives (this is a common practive here) and then after several hours they brought the food in and had a nice feast of it.

Needless to say I am learning leaps and bounds every day about language and culture and myself.

Our K3 group swore in yesterday making us all official Peace Corps Volunteers. Tomorrow we all leave for permanent site to begin our 2 year service. I will write more when I am able to collect my thoughts!

People here chew with their mouths open, smack their lips on purpose, and are capable of slurping solid foods (which I did not previously know was possible). For those of you who have always told me I needed some sort of desensitization therapy for my issue, I am here to say you are wrong. Two months in and I am still occasionally tempted to rupture my own ear drums during meal times.

I try and keep this thing upbeat for anyone who is reading it, but every once in a while I think it is important to write about some of the harsher realities of this place I am living. Today we spent the day visiting organizations working with people living with HIV in Battambang. The morning got off to an amusing start as we sat in on an education session for married couples on preventing HIV transmission. The educator showed cartoon drawings of different scenarios which may or may not lead to the transmission of HIV. People here don't really discuss anything sexual, so it was somewhat amusing to watch how awkward they got, and how hard they laughed at some of the pictures. This is also disconcerting as Cambodia, among other Southeast Asian countries, has a high rate of HIV and other STI's. We tend to take for granted the knowledge that is made available to us in our culture about the risks associated with sexual activity and how to protect ourselves.

The second stop we made was to visit a rural support group for people who are living with HIV. The aim was to provide a safe environment for people to discuss their health and any challenges they are facing. We were greeted warmly by a group who eagerly answered our questions.

Later in the day we met with two NGOs who work as advocates for individuals with HIV to ensure that they are being treated fairly by health care providers and receiving the resources they need to get through day to day life. At the end of the visit they took us on what we thought would be a tour of the Battambang referral hospital. What it ended up being was a visit to the hospital wing where HIV+ patients essentially go to die. I don't think I can really describe what we saw except to say the way they were described to us; "she is 19, her parents are dead, she has HIV and a brain tumor"..."she took the medicine but had an allergic reaction"..."he was taking the medication, but then he gave up." What they all had in common was HIV and not a lot of time left. At hospitals here the family is responsible for caring for the patient making it blatantly obvious who either hasn't got family or has been abandoned by their family. There was such a huge disparity between the people we had seen earlier in the day, people who were living and fighting, and these people who we witnessed in abject suffering. It was a difficult reality to face and I am still sorting out my own thoughts about it. The only thing I can say for sure now is that in a lot of ways it was a grounding reminder of why I am here. There is need everywhere and if at the end of two years all I can say is that I built relationships with and participated in the lives of some of those people...maybe that is enough.

The last several days have been spent on what we are now referrring to as the Magical Mystery tour. Myself and the 10 other health volunteers along with several members of Peace Corps staff are on an 8 day trip around Cambodia to see the what's what and who's who of Cambodian healthcare. We have been incredibly busy but the trip has been a lot of fun, a lot of information, and a lot of unexpected. I would like to focus this entry on Cambodian transportation.

We began the trip on Tuesday the 8th of September on a 24 seater bus. Our first day was spent in and around Phnom Penh visting various organizations working with water sanitation and hygeine. Wednesday night we left Phnom Penh for Kampong Chnang (I think...) where we spent the night. Thursday was an epic day. We got up early thursday morning and borded our trusted form of Cambodian transportation, the bus. The bus took us to a random restaurant/shack in the middle of "East Jesus Nowhere" as one of my fellow volunteers would say. The group waited there in the pouring rain for a "train" to take us to our final destination; a village even further into "East Jesus Nowhere." There was a small bit of shock when we realized, after about 20 minutes, that we were not waiting for the "train" to arrive, we were in fact waiting for the "train" to be put together. This form of transportation,known as "the bamboo train" is little more than a peice of plywood and a tarp with a motor. All 22 or so of us piled on the train in our ponchos (still in the pouring rain) and it took off along the barely visible tracks (they were largely underwater and covered in various forms of vegetation). We were all having a pretty jolly time of it, going over bridges, dodging water buffalo and the sort, when our "driver" brought the whole thing to a rather abrupt stop. Naturally inquiries were made is to why we would stop the "train" in the middle of nowhere in the pouring rain about halfway to our destination. As it turns out a TRAIN was coming. Like a real one. A real big one. So, we had afew minutes to get 20+ people off the "train," take it apart, and move the "train" and people through a small creek to a location that would permit us to not "eat the big train for breakfast." When we finally arrived at our destination we packed 22 people into a pickup truck (a small one) and set off for our days activities.

The Bamboo train is my new favorite method of transportation.

We spent the afternoon sitting on on sessions aimed to provide mothers of malnourished infants with the information and tools necessary to care for their children and prevent avoidable illnesses. My favorite part of this was actually making sand drawings with a group of children in the back of one of the education sessions. We then took the bamboo train back, a far less eventful trip. As we boarded the bus there was a sense of release as we all crashed after a long day looking forward to nothing more than an easy ride to our next hotel. But, alas this is not how things go in Cambodia. Our trusty bus made it about 45 minutes before it decided it didn't want to work anymore. At this point we were about an hour and a half from our final destination and it was already getting dark. So what did we do? We had a technical session with our LCFs on the side of the road about Cambodian Holidays. I mean why waist time? Eventually we abandoned our bus on the side of the road and hopped one that passed us in route to Pursat. Needless to say, we all slept really well that night.

I set off shortly after my last entry to meet my new host family in Battambang. After a 6 hour bus ride full of Khmer Dance videos and stand up comedy (ie: pure torture) I arrived in the small district town where I will live for my 2 year service. At first glance the town is nothing special. It consists of one main road with various restaurants, shops, homes, a market, hospital, and school. Pretty standard. The real selling point was once I met my host family.

They are fantastic. Most host parents are in their late 50's-early 60's and have 4 children all of whom are married with their own children. The youngest daughter and her husband and 3 year old live with us, but all of the kids hang out there in the evenings. The family owns a restaurant (a rather nice one) that the kids run. There were a few things that really sold me on them:

1) In the evenings my host mother, sisters, and neighbors get together and do Khmer dance aerobics in the front yard. To truly understand how great this is you have to know two things, first Khmer people do not really exercise and second khmer dance generally involves nothing by flashy hand movements. Put this combination together with sweet glorified pajamas and a boom box blasting Hotel California and you have MAGIC.

2) I was sitting under the covered area next to the house with my host brother-in-law on my first night when out of the blue he reached over and slapped my ankle. This was weird since it was out of the blue slapping, since we didn't really know each other, and because men here do not touch women that are not their wives or family. I was confused until I looked down and realized that he had slapped a mosquito that was biting my ankle. It's nice to see that they very literally have my back.

3) In the morning I went to the family restaurant and they brought out my favorite breakfast without me even having to order.

More later.

This past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. On tuesday afternoon all of the K3 trainees met in Takeo for a "seminar day" during which we learned our final site assignments. The Peace Corps staff made a huge outline of Cambodia with chalk and little rocks and placed flags all throughout. We were each given an envelope, one by one, with out permanent placement and asked to stand by our flag. It was really kind of cool to see everyone scattered through our miniature version of Cambodia. I will be heading to a district town in the north of Battambang province.

Wednesay we headed to Phnom Penh (where I am currently) for our "counterpart conference" where we met the Cambodian counterpart we will likely be working with for the next two years. My counterpart is an easily amused man in his late 30s who worked with the K1 volunteer I will be reaplacing. I made up my ming that I will like working with him when he informed me, during a session on building fruitfull counterpart relationships, that if I was angry or sad I could tell him...but if I cried he would laugh at me. I promptly informed him that that was fine, but I would also laugh at him if he cried. At this point one of the other Khmer teachers from my province informed me that "men do not cry. they go to the restaurant and drink two beers." So guys, if you are ever feeling down, that's the cure. Two beers in a restaurant. Later on that same day my counterpart asked me if I was going to stand up and present to the group what we had been discussing. I said no, as I will rarely speak in front of a large group voluntarily. He laughed and replied with "It's ok, I got you behind." It is my new favorite Khmer translation of American slang, but at any rate; I am glad my co-teacher "has my back."

Two random stories purely for the readers enjoyment:

My host mother was ranting in Khmer something to do with my nose. She was gesturing wildly at my face and saying " AT S'AT KAMOW!" Which means litterly "black is not beautiful."I was confused as my nose was not black, but an unpleasant shade of red after a long bike ride in the sun. Cambodian's are all about preventing tanning and she was not happy that I was becoming any darker than before. My host nephew, who speaks good enlgish approached soon after and she began raving again. As it turns out she saw me putting on makeup earlier that day and wanting to inform me that she does not want me to wear makeup because it will bruise my face if I go in the sun. I am still not understanding what exactly that means! I just keep to my counter argument that black is beautiful and in America we all want to be brown like her :)

During language class this week one of the other trainees decided to teach the word "bullshit"to one of our LCFs (language instructors). He asked how to spell it and wrote it down on a peice of paper. The next day he walked into seminar day with an official peace corps folder that had "BULLSHIT" written across the bottom in large black sharpied letters. I laughed...it's the little things.

After being showered with flowers and water amidst the indecipherable chants of monks (during the welcome ceremony) I met my host sister Tida (Da for short), in what may have been the single most awkward experience of my life. I might be exaggerating a little about that, but still...pretty awkward.

Most of the other volunteers had host parents to pick them up, eager to mother them as mothers do, but not me. I was greeted by my 21 year old host sister who was almost as uncomfortable as I was! The "what on earth am I doing here" thoughts definitely dominated for a little while. Now, however, I am finding daily reminders of why I am here and how blessed I am to have this experience.

I live with my sister Da and host mother (65) but extended family lives behind us and visit often. I have host neices and nephews as well as a host brother, all of whome speak a little english. This has certainly helped me with my Khmer. We live in a traditional wooden Kmer house one stilts with slat floors and an outdoor bathroom. THe bathroom has been the most difficult but I am getting used to it. It is true what they say...they really don't use toilet paper....and its been....fun... haha.

The food is awesome. Lots of rice and noodles and meat :) Veggies too but I can get away with eating fairly few. My host mom feeds me way too much. At dinner and lunch each day she repeatedly says "niam tran tran!" Eat MORE MORE! She tells me that I am slim (skome) and I need to eat more so I will be fat (taut) like my sister Da. Who isn't fat, for the record. Yesterday I ate frog for lunch which was about as adventurous as I have gotten. I have tried many new things, many of which I love. My favorite thing right now is to lay in the hamock after lunch drinking a coconut (that my mom chopped off a tree with a machette) and eating mangos. Not a bad life :)

Our days are spent in language class, meal times with family, and trainings at the school. They keep us very busy and I am already excited for when training is over and I can make my own routine.

Those of you who know me well will be surprised to know that I have been up by 6am or earlier and I am loving it. WHAT!? I am sure the months to come will have some lows and there will be times where I again question by dcision to be here, but I am confident that I am where I am supposed to be and have been, thus far, reminded daily.

After many hours of travel I arrived, alongside 45ish other volunteers, in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Our first day here we spent a lot of time doing touristy type things; we went to lunch, visited the national museum, and took a cruise on a river boat for dinner with all of the peace corps training staff. The following morning we left Phnom Penh for Takeo, our training hub villiage. The night after we arrived a group of us went with some of the current K2 volunteers and some of our Khmer teachers to a concert. Apparantly some of the most famous musicians in Cambodia were performing. In the course of the evening a good chunk of our group turned back because the crowds were too overwhelming. They were a bit intense, but I was struck by how much I loved that atmosphere. As someone who hates crowds in the states, it seems a bit contradictory, but I suppose I'm in the right place.

Our days have been consumed by information sessions on everything from gender norms, peace corps policy, langauge, and health. I was probably the only person who was excited when we started talking about parasites and mosquito born illnesses. Our evenings have mostly been spent hanging out in the courtyard outside our guest house getting to know eachother and getting ready to separate into our own host families. That change will happen tomorrow and I am beyond nervous.

On a happy note, I learned how to use chopsticks to eat noodles for breakfast and I can now tell you my name, where I am from, and how I am feeling in Khmer. It's not much but it's a start.

Today started off a little rocky. This will come as no shock to those who know me well, but I started off the morning ( at 5:00AM) not feeling so hot. I hopped on my rather delayed flight to San Francisco as a ball of nerves. Upon arrival I soon discovered that myflight included not only Kellee (the other PC volunteer from Olympia) but also 4 other volunteers from the Seattle area. This helped to ease my anxiety a bit.

The remainder of the day, after checking into my room, involved paperwork and general orientation until around 7:00pm. After the initial ice breaker and policy stuff I joined 3 other volunteers for our last dinner in the US of A at a nice little Italian place several blocks from our hotel. We enjoyed some pasta and wine and the entertainment of the very friendly owner of the restaurant. He seemed to find our upcoming adventures exciting and rewarded us accordinly with extra food and drink. What more could you ask for on your last night!? We then joined another group of volunteers and did our best to take full advantage of our last night in our home country.

I feel fortunate to be here with a group of people that I have connected with quickly and am excited for the adventure to come (though I will no doubt be sick over it again at some point in the near future!)

Not a bad way to end a day with a less than promising beginning :)

Tomorrow we begin the journey to Cambodia.