This weekend I stumbled upon one of those sensory queues that transport you right back to a specific time and place from the past. The smells, tastes and sounds that bring back the sweet, sticky, delicious nostalgia of times gone by. I'm talking about candy.

I had no idea candy played such a big role in my childhood and memory, but when I walked into Big Top Candy Shop yesterday I was flooded with memories of people, places and times so perfectly wrapped up in their shiny wrappers it was as if they'd never been touched.

First it was the Candy Buttons, which are basically hardened sugar dots cemented on long strips paper and sprayed with artificial coloring. These little treats are not anything to beg mommy for, but they made their way in to my Christmas stocking every single year. As I said they aren't the tastiest of treats, but I would peel each little hard dot off and end up eating at least as much paper as I did button. Inevitably it wasn't for another year that I'd see this confection, so they must be only available via Santa's elves of course.

Then side by side as if predestined were mom's two favorite sweet treats (besides licorice), Bit-O-Honey and Chic-O-Stick. Most of you reading this have probably never even heard of these underdogs and understandably. However unlike the Candy Buttons these are worth a try. Mom was a always great at finding the diamond in the rough, especially to keep her sugar high going on a long road trip to a dance competition or fiddle contest. In her honor, I too have started indulging on Chic-O-Sticks. The crunchy peanut butter bark stick coated in coconut does the trick on a long drive.

Wandering down the aisle of a sugar addicts paradise a little further, I found my two childhood favs, Haribo Gold Bears and Chupa Chups Lollipops, among others. I must have discovered Haribo Gold Bears at the age of 3 or so when we moved to Fredericksburg and started having lunch at Altdorf's outdoor patio. I know now their food is great, especially the reuben, but my memory only let's me recall heading straight for the cash register to get my little golden bag of gummy bears. Those were good times. Dad and mom enjoying a beer, maybe with friends. Big red parasols shading us from the warm sun. The gravel crunching with my little footsteps round and round the table. The best part is Aldorf hasn't changed a bit. I can still go crunch the gravel under the red parasols, eat a reuben, and reward myself with gummy bears.

Lastly I must honor the Chupa Chups lollipop. Kind of the same story as the gummy bears, just a different restaurant. This time the lollipop takes us 16 miles west of Fredericksburg to the infamous Hill Top Cafe. Hands down my favorite place to eat in Gillespie County. Hill Top is a fabulous restaurant that blends Greek and Cajun cookin' with the blues that stream from Johnny's piano playing fingers and the sweet hospitality on Brenda's pretty face. Set in an eclectic old gas station, Hill Top houses many precious memories. Aside from the delicious food there was the pinball machine, jukebox and the tower of lollipops on the bar. It was here, atop a bar stool, I would suck on Chupa Chups (always orange or strawberry flavor). Unfortunately these days they no longer sell Chupa Chups, but not to worry... I discovered their pie. To die for.

There were several others (candy necklaces, old fashion taffy, peppermint sticks, smarties, doctor's office lollipops.. you know which ones I'm talking about) that I could write about, but I think I will stop here with my top five. I wonder what strange unsuspected thing brings sweet memories back to you?

I have visited Austin regularly my entire life, but finally made the momentus move to live here a about month ago. I've always loved our state's capital for the eclectic shops, array of restaurants, amazing live music scene, crazy liberal hippies and overall good vibe.

I'm living in South Austin where a plethora of trendy food trailers have popped up like little forest mushrooms, at times it feels like there are more cyclists than cars, outdoor bars bring bearded men and vintage boot wearing gals sipping Lone Star Red and smoking American Spirits, and I could get a tattoo at at least 5 different shops within walking distance. I love it. Thus far I am enjoying running at Town Lake, doing yoga at Black Swan, indulging on sweet Deep EddyVodka and soda with a lime at Black Sheep Lodge, seeing movies at Alamo Draft House, meeting for coffee at Progress and happening upon great live music and local artists playing at any of the nearby venues.

However there is still so much I want to do and experience. So this blog is dedicated to all things I aspire to do in the next few months (in no particular order):

1) Dedicate a Saturday take my bike on a to a "tour de trailers". That is all the food trailers along South Lamar and South Congress.

2) Go to the Armadillo Christmas Bazaar.

3) Get a tattoo. At least one.

4) Watch the 1.5 million Mexican free-tail bats fly out out from under the Congress Bridge at sunset. I honestly cant believe I've never done this.

5) Take a kayak out on Town Lake. And maybe even a standup paddle board. This might have to wait until spring though, as falling in in the cold would be miserable.

6) Go to first Thursday on South Congress. I have been a few times in the past when Mead, my brother, lived here and would go out busking with his fiddle. It was always a good time.

7) Go climbing and hiking at the Greenbelt.

8) Go bowling at Highball.

9) Go to the farmers market downtown one Saturday.

10) Take a class at Laguna Gloria. (pottery, photography, photoshop, mosaics, and jewelry, oh my!)

Ten seems like a reasonable number to stop at for now. These were just off the top of my head so I'm sure as I get to know this fascinating city better I will come up with more. If you are intersetd in joining me for any of the above activities please let me know. I should also add to the list 10.5 Make a few more good friends to do all this fun stuff with. Poquito a poco.

By the way, how in the world did I miss the International Wine Fest?!! Next year's list for sure.

There are also a few things I am itching to do outside of Austin. As we all know I have a hard time staying in one place too long:

Numero UNO. Marfa: El Cosmico, "El Cosmico is part vintage trailer, yurt and teepee hotel and campground, part creative lab, greenhouse and amphitheatre - a community space that fosters and agitates artistic and intellectual exchange." Genius! This might deserve it's own post.

Dos. I feel a camping trip coming on. Not sure when or when this will happen but camping under the stars in my near future.

With love pouring out of my heart for this city and the state of Texas. I love and appreciate you more than ever and can't wait to get to know you even better.

To all my dear friends and family,

I am writing to let you know that as of July 4th I am no longer be a Peace Corps Volunteer in El Salvador. It was a really hard, long, thought out decision, but one that I finally felt confident about making. The last few months in my community I felt it was just my pride keeping me there. I had made this commitment and wanted to fulfill it, prove to myself or the man that I could do it.

However many things happened over the past year that made adjusting, incorporating and living in my community very difficult. I wanted things to change. I wanted for the youth and community to get inspired to work with me and not be so apathetic. I wanted to want to stay. I wanted to feel happy and myself again. I wanted to feel safe and unafraid to travel and move about the country. I wanted this lingering depression and weight on my shoulders to lift. But they didn't.

I felt this way for some time, but did a pretty good job at sucking it up and hiding from most everyone most of the time. So after weighing all my options: sticking it out, continuing to hope for change, site change, or just leaving I decided 6 months of waiting was enough. I didn't want to spend the next year feeling this way and then for things to never to change. Life is too short. So I headed back to Texas to start over, once again. I know now it was the right decision, just as I knew coming to El Salvador a year ago was the right decision. I wouldn’t take any of it back and am glad to have walked this road, felt what I felt and learned all I am continuing to learn from the experience. Unfortunately my road was cut a little shorter than originally planned.

I am presently living at home in Fredericksburg looking for a job (and a car!), volunteering at the VA Hospital, meanwhile learning French and to embroider. I hope to move to Austin within the next month or so. Thank you for your constant love and support through this journey.

With all my love and gratitude,

Jennifer

Written amidst making and post my decision to come home...They say follow your heart,But I got lost when it lead me hereSo listen to your gut,But my gut is full of stifling fearLet the spirit guide you the long hard miles,But it confuses me in a labyrinth of trialsSo where do I go with all of these mixed emotions?They pull me up and down, back and forthWho do I listen to when everyone has the answer,But no one will tell me what it's all worth?

Talk, talk, stay, goI don't know what to doAll these commitments that only weigh me down,And never pull me through.Yes, yes, maybe, noI can't make everyone contentI can only do what I hope to not lamentKeep moving forwardWith happiness as my lureForging my own way slow but sureMy heart is not leadingBut it keeps on beat, beat, beatingMy gut is still not talking,And the spirits not walking.But I know where I must go from here.There is a strength within that tells me what's right.Mostly I don't want to listen but it fights with me day and nightSo finally I have given in to what has been long trueI'm sorry to leave youTo move on in this wayBut I know it's what I must doAdios El SalvadorI'm walking away from Peace Corps.

New Contact Info:P.O. Box 853Fredericksburg, TX 78624Tel. 512.565.6747

I am making a bad habbit of waiting way too long to post blogs and having too much to say and recap, but I will do my best to catch you up on whats been going on the past month (or so).

My electricity was cut off some time in April and remained off through the end of May. Meanwhile I moved back in with Lety, my host mom. Despite the inconvenience we had a great time reconnecting and talking about her boyfriend in Texas. I got to translate several lovey dovery spanglish text messages to her giggling delight. I also rekindled my love for requeson, which is whey, like Little Miss Muffet's cruds and whey, with toasted tortilla. Such a tasty treat.

Meanwhile the rainy season started in full force. By full force I mean it rained 24 hours a day for nearly 2 weeks straight. The landslides started again, fortunately not in my area, bridges washed out, many people lost their homes and we were home bound. Fortuantely the volunteers in my area had gathered in Esparta for Emily's Food Festival. We got stuck at her house for 48 hours which turned into a grand ol' time playing pool, watching Glee (my new favorite show and obsession) and cooking up our own little food festival on Emily's swanky back porch kitchen. (see pics below) Back at my house I began to learn the other pitfalls of the rainy season. Everything gets wet and molds. My shoes, clothes and even some organic jewelry all are covered in pretty little sprouts of pom pom floral looking mold. Nothing is safe. Two weeks late my clothes are still damp. Get in bed at night and my sheets feel like I just pulled them out of the washer. I'm back to sleeping in my sleeping bag.

Aside fromt he rain and the lack of electricity, which was turned on a few weeks ago, it has been a pretty evenful weeks. Here are some pictures of the adventures in and out of my community...

Youth Development 2010: In Service Training @ Jardin Celeste in Apaneca

Stranded on the side of the road because a small car size boulder was impeading our bus's way home... Why not hold a stranger's baby? She felt so good in my arms, even if she looks miserable, and made me forget for a moment how hot it was and I was sweating profusely.

Tried on the kidergardener's tradition Salvadorn dress. It fit. Did a little dance. Thank God for elastic.

NLU Clan (Northern La Union volunteers in my region) at Emily's first Food Festival in Esparta, sans the rain. It was a huge success as were our bellies afterwards.

Floods trapped the NLU Clan in Esparta for 48 hours. So we played pool with a lottery ticket sales woman and an 80 year old grandma, obviously.Left to right: Rosellen, Erica, Abuelita, Brian, Me, Missy, Random Lottery Ticket Sales Woman

Still stuck in Esparta at Emily's super swank house, but never going hungry, I made lentils.

Dental Health Education @ my school: I was the tongue. Dont forget to brush me for good breath!

Deantal Health Education: Getting ready to brush us some diiiiirrrrty teeth.

That's all the pics I've got for now. I just spent the weekend at a self defense training. It was awesome and empowering. I learned some techniques for myself and also how to teach the class to Salvadoran women. Most importantly the 4 most vulnerable spots of your attacker: eyes, throat, groin, knees. Throw a few elbows to the throat and knees to the groin while shouting "No!" and you're outa there! Hopefully. I wish I would have gotten pictures but there will be a video floating around out there some time soon. I'll see what I can do to give you a good laugh. I felt so tough.

I must admit it was hard to leave home and come back to El Salvador. Everything seems to come a little harder and take a little longer than expect these days. It's taken a few weeks to readjust once again to life here, throwing the tp in trash, coming home to a guy living in my house, the bugs that never cease, the heat, not having readily available water, getting my electricity randomly cut off for days, nearly getting run over by a mule, you know the usual stuff. But I am here now, most days.

I've been teaching a lot lately in El Chaguite, a very small rural community a 25 minute walk from Las Marias. The school runs kinder-4th grade, with only 2 classrooms and 2 teachers. They have many basic needs but we have decided to start working together on a garden that will produce vegetables the kids would otherwise not recieve and bringing water to the school. We'll see how it goes. I have only managed to keep a small potted plant alive for more than a few months so a whole garden might be a challenge. I have really enjoyed working with them. They need so much that the littlest thing I do is a help.

I have to continually remind myself to get out there, engage with my community and love on the kids. Sometimes it is just too easy to stay int he hammock and read for hours on end, and there begins the fall. I get lonely, withdraw and its just a downward spiral from there. I have never been a melancolic person but it is so easy to get weary, drained physically and emotionally and lose sight of what I am doing here. Below are the lyrics to a song that has really been getting me through the tough days and reminding me no matter where I am to be there.

Be Here Now, by Ray Lamontagne

Don't let your mind get weary and confused

Your will be still, don't try

Don't let your heart get heavy child

Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child

It's only time, it will go by

Don't look for love in faces, places

It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now

Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me

And I will try not to lose faith in you

Don't put your trust in walls

'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now

Be here now, here now

It's a beautiful song if you want to listen to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBSnR4ZP2MI&feature=related

Geez Louise, it's already been over a month since my last post! Time is flying by, however I did spend 2 weeks in the states and a week on vacation around El Salvador in March. My time at home was awesome, seeing all my friends and family warmed my heart, the music lifted my soul and, the food was soooo good. It was scary how quickly I snapped back into my American life. Dad picked me up from the airport, hopped in the car (not a bus or a taxi!) and I was already calling friends on the drive home not worrying about how much saldo I had, catching up and making dinner plans.

There were a few Salvadoran habits that followed me home that I didn't get rid of so easily:

First, was the toilet paper. I could not seem to remember to throw it in the toilet. Out of habit I kept throwing it in the trash can. Dad was less that thrilled with the trash cans filling with used tp. Fortunately for all my hosts by the end of the week I was back in the swing of being able to flush the paper. However the reverse happened when I got back to El Salvador. I might have left a few hostals with sewage problems that first week.

Second, habit I found hard to break was greeting everyone on the street. As part of our volunteer cultural training they teach us to great everyone whether you know them or not. It is considered rude and people have even gotten offended if you don't give at least a little "Salu" or "Buenas." Despite being in Spanish the greeting wasn't so weird in Fredericksburg, where people still wave at every car they pass on the country roads. You know the finger flip from the steering wheel... granted they are usually all neighbors, friends, relatives and especially don't forget the local cops and state troopers. However once in Dallas, running the Katy Trail located in the heart of Up Town Snobs-ville, saying “Salu” to every person who ran by with their miniature dog or baby stroller by was definitely a bit odd. I do like the habit though. If I can train myself to do it in English, I think stranger greeting is a lovely custom to bring back to the states.

Not all customs I have picked up here are so great though. One of my biggest annoyances in El Salvador is the litter. I cringe every time I see people carelessly throw their trash out the bus window. I have unfortunately picked up the habit on a small purely biodegradable level. I love sitting in from of my house eating mangos, bananas or whatever fruit is in season and being able to throw the peel in the road. Between the numerous chickens, birds, cats and the dogs it will get eaten and enjoyed. So, after snacking on a few oranges in the car I wanted to get rid of the peel before Dad saw I had been eating in his car. (Sorry, Dad.) I pulled them out, looked around, saw no readily available trashcan and chunked them under the car in the parking lot. I was with a environmentally conscience friend and he looked at me like I was Mother Earth’s worst enemy. My response, “What? It’s biodegradable or the birds will eat it. Right?” Apparently not.Part of my visit home was planned around going to SXSW in Austin. I was super excited to hear some great live music, something I greatly miss living here. One morning while staying with Karen I went to make a pot of tea. Karen walked in and found me, a bit frustrated, looking around the kitchen. She asked what I was looking for..."Where are your matches for the stove?" I said. She looked at me kind of funny, walked over to her gas stove, turned the knob and it lit. Oh yeah. You don't need matched to light the stove here. Right. You will never find a Salvadoran kitchen sans matches within arms length from the stove. Ever.

Aside from the few adjustments I had to make while being home the trip was a wonderful break. Here are a few photo highlights.

THE FAM

Dad. Dinner at Hill TopMead. Jammin in AustinBaby James. Meeting for the first time

Cousins. The tall jean obviously comes from the Bentsen side of the family.THE FOOD

and drink...

THE MUSIC

Thanks to everyone back home who made my visit home so very special. I love you all so much.

February 27-28th I headed down to Guadalupe, a community that was severely affected by the landslides back in November and left 7,000 Salvadorans without homes. A fellow volunteer lives there and invited a group of PC volunteers to come and work with Un Techo Para Mi Pais (A Roof For My Country), a similar NGO to Habitat for Humanity, to construct 11 houses. These houses would give a decent home to families would had been living in camping tents since November.

It was an awesome experience to work along side Salvadoran university students and the actual families that would be living in the homes. I worked on a house for a family of 3, Niña Cristiana, her husband and her daughter, Katarin. When we arrived Saturday morning to begin construction Katarin, a 12 year old energetic little girl, immediately grabbed my hand. She wanted to help with everything from collecting rocks from the river to set the foundation, to sawing beams for the floor, walls and roof. She was great, but more than anything she wanted to take pictures. The majority of the photojournalism below is thanks to her. Enjoy!

Katarin

Setting foundations

Walls going up: Note the huge landslides visible on the volcano in the background

Roofs going up

Workin' Girl

Hammering the floor together under the house. Kinda scary.Very dusty.

Post under-house-hammering. Dirty girl.

Home sweet home with Katarin, Cristina and a Techo dude being sillyTeam "TNT" House Dedication

"Peas Core" Post Construction Beach Day

This past week I have been back in Las Marias. Things are going well. I have some good stuff in motion and some projects that may (or may not) come to fruition. But I'm coming home Friday and can't wait to see you all, hear your laughter and feel your hugs. See you soon!

Peace Corps RunnersLast Sunday I ran a 11k with a group of volunteers in San Salvador. We had a blast and the runners high afterwards was the best! I got 20th place in the women's division and finished under an hour. Yay!

Gettin' ready...

Anna and me post race jubilation. That blue sugar juice never tasted so good.

It's just like kindergarden... We're ALL winners!When's the next race?

I’m back! Today I bring you a few warm and fuzzies straight from Canton Las Marias.

After taking the majority of the month of January “off” or out of my site to travel, play, see friends and regain my perspective I finally came home to start life on the good foot. I live alone in a little house off the one main road in town which is not easily seen by passerbies. I had been home unpacking, sweeping leaves out and settling back in when 14 little kids came running over to greet me and play. After my bout with a bit of depression and frustration in January, this was the perfect welcome home. As they were pulling out all my games, bowling with water bottles, memory and puzzles I couldn’t help but to be so thankful that I get to work with kids. Although I may beat myself up about how I don’t feel I am accomplishing enough or changing their lives they don’t know this nor do they care. They just want to play, wear my sunglasses and be loved. So on a bad day I just remind myself of my happy memories as a kid, which were hours of playing, reading and lots of hugs. I also remind myself I am alsways working on PC goals 2 & 3...

1. Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.

(I try not to worry about this one too much.)

2. Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.

3. Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.

I came out of my house to go for a walk around 5pm as I often do and my neighbor was blasting Vicente Fernandez for the whole village to enjoy. The blasting of music is incredibly normal, however this was the first I heard of Mr. Fernandez and a pleasant surprise it was. If you don’t know who he is, think distinguished Mexican man, wearing an exquisite mariachi suit, dark eyebrows, and white hair which is usually covered with an elaborate sombrero. He belts out some of the most beautiful ballads this side of the Rio Grande and his passionate voice was the perfect soundtrack to the end of the day. I couldn’t let the moment slip by without dancing with someone. The sun was setting and the evening breeze was cooling off the heat of the day. The first people I saw were Jocelyn and Lorena my 3 and 4 year old little neighbors. I picked them up and we twirled around. Trying my best at what I thought was a waltz and several dips, which they loved almost as much as I did. Adding to the alegria of the moment, they didn’t smell of pee as they usually do.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_RsyKBL2MDYk/SeDZR7UqX7I/AAAAAAAAHAU/d2F-DzAea8E/s400/Vicente+Fernandez.jpg

School was out for the day and I was home talking to my sweet friend Meesh in the states, meanwhile stacking up a little rock wall around where I burn trash. (Don’t judge, there is really no other option here. I recycle cans and plastic bottles.) I’m quite the multi-tasker phone talker, wall builder and even a little machete grass cutting. As we were talking, Febe and Dina came over to visit and invite me over for bread and coffee. I asked them to wait as I was still on the phone. So what do they do, but help me with my wall and sweep my house. Who are these kids? Since when do a 5 and 7 year old come over to your house, wait patiently to talk to you, as they pick up the broom to sweep and gather rocks. Meesh wanted to say hi to them so I let them say “Hello Meeshel.” I had also taught them a little song in English so we all sang together “Hello, Hello, Hello what’s your name? Hello, Hello, Hello! Meesh loved it. I hung up feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and went to eat bread.

Other tidbits keeping me on the up and up and away from the down and out…

• New fun Peace Corps friends

• 24 7-9th grade girls signed up for a girls soccer team. First practice Saturday.

• Started teacher training with the English teacher

• Stared doing aerobics and Zumba with some ladies

• Bought a toaster over = banana bread

• I made lentils last night. Yummy!

• Running a half marathon in San Salvador Feb. 21st

• Going home to visit March 12-26th

*I started this blog a few weeks ago, and am just now posting it. Much has changed, so not to worry as you read.

I start this blog with hesitation, because it hasn't been the best of months and I am not sure I want to make permanent public light of it all. I am not going to be reporting on Salvadoran Christmas traditions, finding pleasures in the simple things in life, nor the great sustainable projects I have been working on in my community. Sadly, I have been suffering from what I am calling the Peace Corps Holiday Reality Hitting Blues. But I am going to write it, because I want this to be a complete account of my life and experiences here, all the ups and downs, highs and lows.

That being said, it all started when I got back to my site from PST2, December 11th. I was trained and ready with more ideas, cd's, books and information than I could ever even begin to use in their entirety. This fact alone stressed me out. It was information overload. In addition, little to my knowledge, El Salvador inconveniently goes completely on vacation the entire month of December through New Year's, at least according to my observations. Not knowing any of this at the time, I immediately made two beautiful signs publicizing my English classes and afternoon activities which I planned to run as kind of a summer camp through mid-January when the kids go back to school. The first week went well with about 20 kids at each event and then after that they just slowly stopped showing up. No one showed up to my upper level English class. I kept trying though for a few more classes. But after getting fed up with them for not helping clean up the gigantic mess of flour and newspaper after piñata making, not listening to any of the rules, and throwing cups of water in a kid's face for no apparent reason, I gave up.

Mid fed-up-give-up also came Christmas and New Years. I have been away from friends a family a lot in the past, but have somehow always made it home for the holidays. This was the first year we were apart and it was surprisingly hard. Dad always says I am the rock of my family, the strong one who keeps us all together, but I fell apart this year. It was definitely a combination of the stress of my projects not going well or as I had imagined, feeling like my community does not want to work with me, feeling useless, and the holidays. No longer the rock, I felt like dirt.

Naively when Peace Corps explained to us in training that we would all go through hard spots, doubt why we were here and perhaps even consider early termination, I let it go in one ear and out the other. I knew it would be hard but I really didn’t think it would be that tough. Ha! Boy did I ever get a surprise. All the crazy feelings they said we would have. I had. I considered even doing the "pack your bag, put it under your bed for a week, wait and see if you still want to leave" technique. I never packed my bag, but I did spend lots of Peace Corps money talking to loved ones in the states. If you listened to me whine and cry (Dad, Kirsten, Missy), thank you.

All that to say, I have made it out of the worst and am now more humbled by this experience. The power it has to bring you down and challenge every ounce of strength you thought you had. I still hesitate to post this post, because I generally like to look on the sunny side. However, hopefully in doing so I will look back in a few months or years and laugh or just smile at what I have had to over come. I have learned to be easier on myself and the progress I am making interpersonally and within my community. Taking everything in “tiempo Salvadoreño,” Salvadoran time, which translates to at least twice as long as you thought it would take.

I have been fairly lucky thus far in my Peace Corps experience avoiding the horror stories of illness, theft and injury. However this past week my luck took a little detour and I received a cellophane wrapped holiday basket full of crap-o-la.

First, it was a bacterial infection which caused every ounce of fluid to leave my body through any and all exits at the same time. There's no stopping it. I'll spare you the details but don't ever get stuck in a Salvadoran bus station with a bacterial infection. It wasn't pretty. Fortunately I got some amazing drugs and was feeling up to life again a few days later.

Then came a few days of just being really clumsy. I felt like a teenager again. Not that I was ever long, lanky and tripping over myself but at least that would have been an excuse. To set the scene, it was my public debut on the Las Marias Women's soccer team, first day of the Fiestas Patronales (comparable to the county fair), and the whole town was there. Ever the hesitant athlete, I play defense because I don't want the pressure of making goals. About 5 minutes into the game the ball came to me. It was my time to shine and what do I do but run, kick and then before I knew it my feet slipped out from under me and I busted it. I scraped up my leg pretty bad and bruised my hip. It really hurt but I had to play it cool as I could hear the guys team laughing as they watch from up on the hill. Oh the shame. Fortunately we won the game 3-0. Go girls!

The next day I went for a run. I have previously written about the numerous street dogs that run wild and freel all over the place here. I have never had an encounter with one. They usually steer clear of the running sweaty gringa, but that day I ran up on one who was extra bravo. He ran towards me teeth bared and growling. Yelling I tried to run around him and once again I slipped and fell on the same leg I had hurt the day before. I felt defeated and my anger got the best of me as the owner yelled from across the road "he doesn't bite." Doesn't bite? Ha! I yelled back something inappropriate to write here. Oops. Sorry, Peace Corps.

I made it back home to nurse my wounds and bruised pride, but little did I know my run-ins with dogs was far from over. The next night I was preparing to leave for a week of PC training in San Salvador. I was feeling lonely and kinda sad so I headed up to say adios to Luisa and her kids (they are my favorite sweet family) and hopefully get some love and cheer-me-up hugs. I visit Luisa nearly every day and have seen her dogs a hundred times, so when they came running towards me as I approached the house I thought nothing of it. What I hadn't considered was it was 7:30p.m., dark and they were on night watch. Before I knew it there was a throbbing pain on my upper thigh. That darn chucho had bitten me! The dam broke and the tears finally flowed. It had been a rough week. Fortunately I was in the right place for a good cry as Luisa cleaned the wound, I was surrounded by 5 of her precious little kids, hugs and kisses.

I have managed to be accident free for 3 days now, so hopefully my luck has taken a turn for the better. I am in San Salvador for technical training with the Youth Development group through the 11th. As I write, it's Sunday I am sitting in a coffee shop in the mall sipping green tea, there's AC, tacky Christmas decorations and holiday music playing... it almost feels like I am back home. Gotta admit it, I'm a little homesick today.

Thought I would just write a quick note to commemorate today and express how incredibly thankful I am for all the friends and family I have been so abundantly blessed to walk through life with.

I was thinking the other day about how in the states we have so many "security nets" that we buy or practice to make us feel protected from god knows what. There's everything from life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, house insurance, fire, flood and renters insurance, security systems, seat belts, air bags... all of which I do not have now nor does anyone in my community. Funny thing is, I feel no less safe. I know that if something was to happen to me I'd have several dozen families here and abroad doing whatever they could to help me. These are my true security nets. If my house was to burn down or get burgularized or my health fail I would NOT find my solace in a late coming check from an insurance company but I what I would need most is you. Your love, support, care and protection.

Fortunately most of us have the choice to buy all types of insurance to protect from all sorts of problems life might throw us, but most people in the world including Salvadorans do not. When all goes to hell they turn to each other because that's pretty much all they've got. And not surprisingly, they seem to always bounce back on their feet. The human race is so amazingly resilient, but I believe it's only because we have each other to hold us and patch us up through horrific and often unbearable situations.

It was amazing to see the help pouring in from the Salvadoran population to help out the victims of the recent flood in the San Vicente area. Donations, volunteers and support from people who probably don't have much themselves. We worked all day and into the night receiving LOCAL donations. Honestly, it was shocking and beautiful.

All this to say THANK YOU, to all of you, my security blankets. You are the ones who make the difference, who make laughter ignite amongst grief, smiles appear in sadness and joy fill hardened hearts and THAT'S really what life's about. Happy Thanksgiving!

Side Note: Dad is here visiting me this week. We are on the Isla Meanguera today and about to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner prepared by an American-Salvadoran family, sitting on the dock surrounded by volcanic islands. It smells SO good. They even had the canned cranberries shipped over. I can't wait!

House visits are a part of orientation into our community and help to us meet people and get integrated. I have been doing them off and on for the last month wandering down the street and up to doors that look friendly enough. They are usually open with several kids and dogs running around outside wondering why the gringa is at their house.

This past Saturday I set out to do a couple house visits and meet some new people. What I found along the way were several new tasty delights and a very full belly that I would like to share with you.

At the first house I went to was a family I already knew. They were out back all standing around the wood burning oven waiting for it to heat up so they could sweep out the flames and bake some TOTOPOSTES. Totopostes are a baked crunchy bread thing made from corn and cheese. The roll them into little donuts and dip them in coffee, because if you don’t you might break your teeth. They aren’t my favorite corn product here, but they serve to help stomach the bad coffee.

Next I went next door to Flori´s house. She is one of the girls I have gotten to know pretty well, however she had never invited me to her house, which is weird. I asked her why and she said "Porque es fea." (Because it’s ugly.) Well, I’m not going to argue with her, but more importantly what sort of afternoon snack were they going to inevitably provide? Moments after greeting and sitting to chat a plate of NUEGADOS little fried donut things covered in a brown syrupy sauce were handed to me by one of their 8 kids. They were sort of like fried totopostes covered in a “miel” they make out of sugar cane. Although far less healthy, they were much more tasty than the dry totopostes and coffee. (They are fried and covered in sugar. You pretty much can’t go wrong!) They apologized I had to eat them with my fingers because they have no silverware. Eating with utensils is very optional here and often enthusiastically avoided. It grossed me out at first but I have grown used to it and was happy to get my fingers sticky to enjoy the conversation and yet another Salvadoran food.

The house visits continued to the next house, also family of the first two houses. It was the last house on the road and by far the shabbiest. Never the less, I was attacked with hugs by 3 filthy barefoot kids I recognized from the school. This family also has 8 precious kids of which sadly only 4 are in school. They invited me in and I found their mom relaxing in the hammock. Had the kids not been there, I still would have known exactly who her kids were. They all have these strong black eyes and big-teeth white smiles. I honestly did not think she would offer me any food or drink because of the extreme poor conditions they live it, but here it came, a plate of atole de ayote, which is like corn flour drink with pumpkin, however it was served thick on a plate with a spoon. I love ayote (pumpkin) so I happily ate my third plate of the day while I chatted with Niña Luisa.

After that I had to take a short break, but later had to run an errand to my dear friend Victorio’s house. He is a farmer and LOVES to plant crops. He has no kids, which is very strange for this part of the world, so he pours all his energy into farming and sharing his crops with friends and family. Without fail there is always some sort of fresh dish to try made entirely with ingredients from his garden and fields. So far he has shared with me his corn, pumpkins, squash, coconuts, green beans, red beans, oranges, coffee, 4 different kinds of bananas, and anona. That day it was ayote en dulce, which is pumpkin that has been baked and sweetened with sugar cane. You can eat it with a spoon or just pick it up and eat it like a slice of watermelon. It’s delicious!

It was a barbaric quantity of food I ate that day, but fortunately I didn’t have to worry about lunch or dinner. Culturally it would have been really rude for me to deny their offers to feed me. Salvadorans show their love with food, so at least I feel very loved… and stuffed. Salvadorans desire and capacity to share all that they have amazes me. If they make something it never only reaches just the tummies that inhabit that kitchen, but will always be shared with visitors neighbors and if there is any left, the dogs. Several times a week a son or daughter will show up at my house with a gift of cheese, tamales, papaya or some other offering. They don’t have much, sometimes its just beans and tortillas, but it is always there to be shared and enjoyed amongst good company.

I've been in Las Marias now for almost 3 weeks and time is flying by. I remember my first week in San Vicente and how it felt like an eternity. Life here is just easier, nicer, and more comfortable. I have grown accustomed to the chilly bucket baths, tortillas and beans at every meal, saying hello to everyone, never being alone, sunset at 6pm, making house visits, walking an hour to the post office, jogging up and down the steep hills and constantly being stared at for being the only gringa in town. I actually love the tortillas and the beans AND the cuajada (cheese curds) now. Funny how liking where you are changes everything. The food tastes better, the sun shines brighter, people are more friendly, and everything is greener and prettier.

A normal day here starts with breakfast, a run and a shower or bucket bath depending on the time of day and if we have water. Then I head up to the school, which is just up the only paved street in town. I don't really have a schedule at the school. I just show up and walk into whatever class and all the students shout "Bienvenida!" It's awesome. I try to learn their names by signing "Flor, Flor, Bo, Bor, Banana, Fana, Fo, For, Me, My, Mo, More, Flor." They love it and then they want a dinamica or song. I have taught them "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" and that shark song we used to sing "Baby shark toot toot toot toot" among others. They laugh at me a lot. Probably because they think I'm nuts, but that's OK.

In the evening I try to do at least one house visit and community investigation. These can be awkward at first, but I always end up learning something and having a good time. I walk up to any random house and just introduce myself. They are generally super welcoming and invite me in to sit and have corn coffee, which is exactly what the name suggests. They drink this watery corny coffee because it is cheaper and easier on their stomach. But in a country where the number one export is coffee, I just don't understand why they wouldn't have good strong coffee. I've come to realize though that there are just going to be things that I will never understand here, and that's OK.

After dinner Lety, my host mom, and I hang out. She is awesome. She has three kids who all live between San Salvador and San Miguel, but after her mom passed away she came to Las Marias to take care of her father. She has such a positive and cheerful out look on life. She has really helped me meet people and integrate in to the community. People are constantly stopping by for charamuscas, chocobananas or just to say hi. We talk about everything and watch our novelas, which are basically Spanish soap operas. They are terrible but so addicting. Hahaha! We cenar more tortillas and lots of beans, eggs, and cheese and I eat it up. Could this be love?

I am off to San Miguel for the weekend to visit Lety's kids. I am really loking forward to it. That's all for now. Que le vaya bien!

Milking a cow at 6am with my counterpart, Tommy.

Top of the Cerro de Las Marias with some kids. Awesome view! If it was clear you could see all the way to the Pacific.

Celebrating Central America`s Independence week at school. Aren`t they precious?!!

Swearing in. Shaking hands. Ceren, El Salvador's Vice President, is second from the left. We felt like kind of a big deal.

I have enough stories and emotion built up over the past two weeks to write a book, but I will try to condense it all to one bearable sitting.

“Jennifer, we’re home.” is what Grant, a fellow PC volunteer, said to me the first day we arrived to El Salvador. We were taking to bus from the airport to San Vicente were we would stay for two months of training. I was excited to be here, but “home” is not exactly what I would have called it at the moment. Nor throughout training would I say I was comfortable calling it home, not because I was hesitant to accept my new life here, but because I knew that in a few weeks I would move off to my permanent community, an unknown place at the moment, to stay for the duration of two years. THIS was the place I wanted to call home, but I would have to wait. And wait. And wait some more.

The day finally came, August 27th, when we would be informed of that mysterious point on the map where we would be sent for better or for worse to live, love and work. The energy in the room was electric, everyone crossing their fingers for at least running water and electricity. I was the last of the 33 trainees to receive my site. Drum roll… Canton Las Marias, Nueva Esparta, Departamento La Union. Yay! But it still was just a green star on the map that looked really far away. I heard it was a beautiful little town, about 800 people, set in the mountains close to the northeastern Honduran border, and best of all the weather is cooler! I still had to wait 9 more days to actually get there to see the setting my life would take place in for the next 24 months. By “cool” did they mean I would just sweat less? By “little” did they mean so small I would not have any friends? I had so many questions, but I would have to wait some more for the answers. Patience is definitely something you learn or at least try to practice when living in a Latin American country.

We swore in as Peace Corps Volunteers on September 4th at a beautiful ceremony at the US Ambassadors Residence in San Salvador. But the real BIG day was the fifth when we would finally board the bus to La Union. There were several other volunteers headed in the same direction so poquito a poco we said our goodbyes to those headed west and boarded the Super Especial from San Salvador to San Miguel. It had been a long night and an early morning but I was in good spirits and feeling fine, until the bus started to twist and turn up and down the hills. As a kid I would have puked immediately, but I guess I’ve grown up a bit… I held it till we got to the San Miguel bus terminal. There it was finally time to say adios to my security blanket of fellow gringos and venture off on my own. I found the 390, a rickety old school bus painted bright colors which had faded to pastels over the wear and tear of the years, and settled behind the driver with my overstuffed backpack, a soda, and my pillow. I asked the driver how far the ride would be to Las Marias and he looked at me a little surprised and said “cuatro o cino horas.” What?!! Four or five hours. Dios mio! I had better get comfortable. Fortunately I ran into a veteran volunteer who turned out is my neighbor and had a teacher picking her up in a truck to take us the rest of the way. Que suerte!

The drive up into the mountains was beautiful, green and really bumpy. The sweat had finally stopped running down my back and I felt the air cooling off. Just outside Las Marias Isaac, our driver, stopped the SUV and said, we’re almost there but check out the view. To my left was a sea of mountains shared by the Honduran border and at the horizon was the Pacific Ocean. It was incredible! At this point I was super excited for all I could see of the area, all that was left was to meet the people.

I had seen pictures of my new casa were I would live with Nina Lety and her father, Tio Raul, but I was anxious to meet them. Then we pulled up in front of a cheery yellow and blue traditional Salvadoran home. She greeted by with a big hug and kiss and I knew I was finally somewhere I would one day call home. She invited us into her (clean!) house and offered us charamuscas de leche, which are little bags of frozen sweet cinnamon milk heaven. My counterparts Maritza, the school director, Tilo, her husband, and Don Catalino, the English teacher also came over. They were all so very kind and could not have been more welcoming. I could feel the warmth in their hugs and see the sincerity in their eyes. We sat around in hammocks on the porch talking, laughing and sucking on our charamuscas.

I have been here a week now introducing my self, greeting EVERYONE (that’s what you do here), visiting the school, teaching English, celebrating Central America’s independence week, walking the town, meeting with a group of kids with excess time on their hands since dropping out of school, milking cows, making tortillas and enjoying cool breezes and afternoon rains. I could not be happier or feel more blessed to be where I am, my new home. The waiting was worth it and the worrying wasn’t.

If you come to visit I will great you with hugs, kisses and sweet charamusca heaven. Start planning!

Despite all the little nuisances that I am slowly getting used to, there is undeniable tangible and intangible beauty here in The Savior. Green hills dive into the big blue Pacific, delicious, strange colorful fruits, cooling evening downpours to the tune of terrifyingly loud thunder, finger licking good pupusas, anything you could ever want made out of fresh sweet corn, volcano studded horizons, afternoon hammock naps, sincere smiles, kind resilient spirits, and Paula.

Paula is 94 and has lived in Tecoluca her entire life. I first met her when assigned to interview a community member about the history of Tecoluca. She is, Sarah, a fellow PC trainee’s host family grandmother. It took very little time for me to recognize and fall in love with the sweet motherly spirit of this precious white-haired, toothless woman who has lived through disastrous earthquakes that destroyed her town and home, a devastating civil war, and the death of her parents, husband and countless friends. Despite all this, Paula is such an encouraging and positive person. I have visited her several times since our first interview and I always leave with a smile on my face and a bit more hope in my heart. She offers uncomplicated words of wisdom and never forgets to express her appreciation for the work we are doing here. Her words are honest and simple, but profoundly cut to the heart of the matter.

A few nights ago I stopped by to visit Sarah and got to talk to Paula. I had been feeling down and lonely, but I put on a smile for Paula because she is always so happy to have visitors. She had no idea what was going on in my life, or my need for motherly affection and yet our conversation led to faith, angels and the hardships of life. She said that she has lived such a long and healthy life because she has learned how to forgive and not hold grudges. In her matter of fact way she explained how important the forgiveness of others and herself is to health and life. It was a simple message but one I needed to hear. I often find it relatively easy to forgive others, but not as simple to forgive myself. So tonight I forgave myself for not living up to the often impossible standards I hold for myself (among other things). I have to remind myself to do this on a regular basis. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive others. Forgive yourself.

Paula’s bittersweet story is not unusual. The Salvadoran people as a whole have not had it easy and continue a valiant battle. Only a mere 17 years ago the Peace Accords were signed to end their brutal civil war that tore the country apart for long over 12 years. Then came the earthquakes, landslides, volcano eruptions and hurricanes that plague this little piece of Pacific coast, it’s as if they will never be given the chance to get back on their feet. But they do, every day, with, from what I can tell, hearty helpings of forgiveness, faith, hope and love in their hearts… and of course plenty of rice, beans and tortillas.

P.S. I stopped by to say hi at Paula's house yesterday and I gave her a big hug. She was so thankful and said hugs added happiness and days to her life. I'm thinking about having her adopt me or maybe I can just pack her up and take her with me to La Union.

Crap in the streets

All the bolos are creeps

Tortillas, rice and beans

Are all food here means

The occasional fried plantains or pupusa

Make things a little looser

Sweating all day and night

Makes me quite the site

The pastelitos de piña and frequent trips to the Nevi

Make me happy but heavy

But the drunks don’t seem to mind

As they shout piropos at my behind

Bugs in the kitchen

Not that I’m bitchin’

But the ants in the food

Puchica! That’s too much, dude

Getting wet in the rain, swimming and ice cream all give you toss

According to Merecedes and she’s the boss

The zancudos keep bitting

And the chuchos never stop fighting

At the end of my rope

About to loose all hope

I need a fun day

Then we take a trip to the Sheraton Sunday

Relax in the sun

And have a little too much fun

Then it’s back to San Vicente

For another medical session with Charro and my gente

Diarrhea, chinches, and STD’s

This life is a breeze

Let your hair loose

And learn about AIDS and condom use

Hours of lectures, investigations and classes on dichos

Would be unbearable without all my bichos

But soon training will be a thing of the past

And we’ll be off to our sites at last

I will look back on this time and laugh

Fill up the pila and take a cold bucket bath

The constant itch of the days bites

Roosters that crow all through the nights

Fearing the outcome of every meal

And that rumbly in my tumbly feel

But from East to West

We will give it our best

With faith and hope from the One above

It’s the hardest job you will ever love

De-coding the Caliche (Slang):

Bolos- the town drunks

Pupusa- typical Salvadoran grilled corn cake filled with cheese, beans, or chicharon

Paselitos de piña- sweet baked buttery heaven, 3 for .25 cents. I can afford that!

Nevi (La Neveria)- the ice cream shop

Piropos- whistles, hisses, shouts from men on the street

Puchica!- expression of surprise

Toss- cough

Mercedes- my Salvadoran madre

Zancudos- mosquitoes

Chuchos- street dogs

Sheraton- hotel in San Salvador; Salvadoran luxury at its best

San Vicente- Peace Corps training center site

Charro- Peace Corps dry humored, long winded staff doctor

Gente- people/ my bichos

Chinches- kissing bugs

Dichos- colloquial sayings

Bichos- kids/friends

Pila- the water tank you bathe and wash everything in

The Tecoluca CincoMe, Marissa, Eric, Sarah & Kalli

It’s hard to believe I have already been in El Salvador for over a month and there’s only 3 weeks of training left. September 3rd we will swear in, put on our big kid pants and venture off into the big bad real word of volunteer life. Training has been informative and helpful, but I am ready to move on to the real adventure. Most of all it has been great getting to be so close to all the other trainees and spend so much time together speaking Spanglish, swapping crazy stories about our host families, bugs and buses, sweating profusely, swatting mosquitoes, and spending the majority of our stipend on lots and lots of ice cream at La Neveria.

Lesson Learned: Don Jose, the English teacher

As part of training we are expected to observe and teach an English class at the local school. A few weeks ago we went to the school to introduce ourselves to the English teacher, Don Jose, a short Salvadoran man with thick glasses, some serious silver dental work, and a wiggle in his walk. At first I wasn’t sure if he seemed a little off because we were speaking in English and it was his second language, or if he is really a little bit crazy. So we tried speaking in Spanish, but he insisted we speak in English even though we had to repeat and reword a lot in order for him to understand. After canceling his class and sending all the students out to play so that we could sit in the classroom (odd), he was extremely excited to tell us about his teaching methods, share his materials with us, and explain his philosophy of “hacerse payaso” which basically means acting like a clown to get your students attention. In his case however it might just mean being himself! The objective of the meeting however was just to set up a time we could come observe one of his classes. Unfortunately even though he had his schedule in front of him he had no idea what time any of the classes begin or end, so we just decided we would come by another time. On a subsequent visit with the school director we caught Don Jose in his arts & crafts class. They were making piñatas to the tune of a 70’s disco mix blaring across the schoolyard. The best part however was watching Don Pedro display his dance moves for everyone. He was having a grand old time shaking his grove thang, grabbing students to dance and laughing so that all his silver teeth shone in the sunlight. The bewildered teenagers didn’t seem to mind much and even seemed to enjoy the spectacle.

This morning we stopped by the school for our surprise observation. Don José was happy to see us and let us each take a tiny desk in the back of the class. The class went (surprisingly) really well. He taught the majority of it in English, sans disco music, and I think about half the kids knew generally what was going on. The funniest part to me was that out of the 32 students there he did not know a single one of their names. He called them all “you” and was playful in the “payaso” sort of way. I am not going to deny I think he’s a little nuts, but the kids love him. They pay attention even though he doesn’t call them by name, they laugh and they participate. I can’t always say that much for my students. So I guess all this to say he may be coo coo for coco puffs, but the kids are too! Lesson learned here: perhaps sanity is overrated, which in my case might be a good thing sometimes.

Thursday morning bright and early I hopped on the bus to San Vicente destination Yucucaiquin, in the Departamento de La Union. We received our individual destinations and bus instructions Tuesday at yet another infinitely long all day training. We were all excited to get out of our training communities and travel to another part of the country, visit a volunteer and experience what their life is like. 4 hours and 4 crazy buses blasting hits from the 70´s and 80´s later we found ourselves at the pristine central park in Yucucaiquin. I was immediately impressed with how clean everything is here. (Yay for clean!) I was a little worried it would be sweltering hot since we are in south eastern part of the country near the Honduran border, but I was pleasantly greeted by a cool breeze. Katy, the volunteer we were visiting, met us and walked us to their house. Once again I was super impressed by their darling turquoise home complete with 2 hammocks, a yard with mango, banana and avocado trees, and even a refrigerator! The simple lack of bugs and cockroaches would have won me over.

The plan was to spend 2 nights with a local host family and then Saturday night at Jeff and Katy´s so we would have time to talk about volunteer life and ask questions. After a brief visit we hopped back on the bus to La Cañada to Elsi Chica Romero´s home were I would be staying. Katy had informed me they had a lot of kids and that we would be pretty crammed in their 3 room home (kitchen, living room and one bedroom). When we arrived we were greeted by Elsie and then a stream of beautiful little girls. I later found out Elsie, Mercedes and Betty are sisters and Evelyn, Stefani, Cristina, and Diana are Elsie´s kids. Their dad walked out on them a few years ago and so they all live with the grandparents, which unfortunately is very common here. Also in the house are Elsi´s parents and their nephew Ronald. For a grand total of 11, not including the other numerous cousins that come over to play. After Katy left the girls took me for a hike to show me around. They live in a canton, which basically means the sticks, it´s one of the smallest form of community here. So when we go for a walk that means trekking down to the natural spring to watch the women wash their clothes, checking out the free roaming livestock and then heading down the road to meet the cousins and aunts. For dinner we had the typical scrambled eggs, beans, queso fresco and tortillas, but it´s never tasted so good. I was already in love with the girls and then I discovered the best part of all.. Elsi is a baker. She makes the best cookies and breads in her earthen oven out back. She sells them on the buses and along the side of the road.

The family is extremely poor but they are so happy and it shows in everything they do. There is a saying here, -Estoy jodido, pero estoy feliz,- which basically means I´m screwed but I´m happy. Thursday night after dinner Mercedes randomly suggested we do a Zumba work out video. Awesome (and very unexpected)! You would have died of you´d seen all 6 of us lined up in front of the computer screen with our towels. Diana, the 3 year old, was really getting into it. It was a blast. Then it was time to figure out the sleeping situation... where do all these people sleep? Hidden behind a wall of sheets in the living room were 4 beds. Then 3 hammocks were hung and viola!, sleeping for 12. I got one of the beds which was actually like a wicker chair type bed, no mattress. I wasn´t too concerned about the lack of mattress but more that it would be my first night here without a mosquito net. It was a restless night, fearing what bugs or other creepy animals might be bitting and crawling all over me in the pitch black, but I made it out alright with minimal bites.

Friday morning Betty and I headed back into Yucucauiquin to meet Katy and Jeff to prepare for a carnival we put on for the youth to raise money for a weekend camping trip they want to go on. We played lots of silly games and the kids had a blast. Their favorite was called ¨Gringo Mojado¨ which is basically a low budget dunk tank. When the kids made a basket they dumped a bucket of water on one of our heads. By the end I was drenched! It was fun and comforting to see the activities and things the volunteers have initiated and how the community loves and accepts them. Everyone asked me if I was there visiting Katy and proceeded to tell me how much the community appreciates them. After lunch I headed back out to La Cañada with Betty.

Before this starts to get too long, I will just highlight the rest of the weekend... Back at the Chica Romero house the girls took me for an adventure across fields and under fences in search of a renegade watermelon. We finally found one along with a few cobs of corn and raced back to the house to cut open the watermelon and put the corn on the fire. Even though the watermelon wasn't any good we had a grand time on our little adventure. That night we played a little soccer in the yard and then went for a run-walk-bike ride down the road. The girls loved racing me, and I just loved their laughter and fun spirit. It as such a joy to be around these kids. They helped so much around the house from doing dishes, helping with their sisters, cleaning and ALL without complaining. These beautiful people are really what made this weekend so great. Yes, the electricity was iffy, the latrine was pretty rank, I didn´t sleep very well, bucket baths were cold and all that jazz but I could have cared less. These people made me feel so loved and welcome I couldn´t have been happier. Dad called me this afternoon on my way back to Tecoluca and said ¨Wow, you sound so much happier!¨and I am. I am back home in Tecoluca now with hopes that I get placed somewhere like Yucucauiquin or at least with people as warm, caring and humble as those I was fortunate enough to meet this weekend. Signing off with a smile on my face. Salud, pues!

Uno: Let´s start with my names here. For some reason Spanish speakers almost all automatically call me Jenny. This fine and I actually kind of like it, but the family I am living with now calls the -La Jenny- or -The Jenny.- It started out in reference to me and now they say it to my face. It makes me feel so loved and important -THE Jenny.- At least they haven´t started calling me -bayunca- which is what the mom screams a the dog when he won´t stop barking and also to the bimbos on the -novelas- or soap operas they watch. It basically means dumb. I have seen novelas before but the one´s here are terrible! I tried to watch the first night to try to assimilate into the family culture, but now I just sit there reading or journaling and try to block it out best I can. Other evening past times include sitting at the filthy dinner table with the dad, Alvaro, (and the cockroaches) listening to him talk about politics and history. I think I am pretty good at Spanish but when he get´s going I get completely lost. A goal of mine for the next few months is to learn more about the crazy history and politics of the country I now call home.

Uno.5: Back to the cockroaches. This morning I was eating my breakfast at the table and several mini-roaches came scurrying out of the tortilla basket and the cereal box! I told my mom about it. She was like -And you let them run off?!! You should have gotten the fly swatter and killed them or squashed them with your hand.- What?!! With my hand? No thanks. I guess tortillas and cereal are now out of my diet here now.

Dos: In order to keep my sanity and my clothes fitting I have started running in the morning. It takes about 10 minutes to run around the entire town. I do it 3x and it is quite the Central American work out obstacle course for a number or reasons. First being that the streets are made of uneven cut stones. Second, is the plethora of cows, horses and dogs that roam the street leave quite the trail of manure to watch out for and jump over. Third, are the few cars and buses that pass through town who could care less to stop for you. Fourth is trying ignore and not make eye contact with the drunks or -bolos- hissing at me on the corner (at 6:30 am). Fifth, there is a steady stream of dirty water running out of the houses down every street, and finally the TWENTY SEVEN street dogs I counted this morning. Yes, 27! I couldn´t believe it. I knew there was a lot, but that is how many I counted in one lap around the town.

TRES: Family Insight: My madre, Merecedes, is quite the character. She finds it quite comical to make fun of the fact I have (understandably) had diarrhea a few times. It takes time to adjust to this food, water and everything else, and after hearing a few other volunteer´s stories I have had it easy comparatively. She has several noises and hand gestures she uses to ask me how everything came out. I won´t go into too much more detail, but they are pretty foul, but always make me laugh. Another funny thing she did the other night was sneak up on her husband in the shower. She pulled a chair up to the side of the stall and peeked over. I was standing there brushing my teeth and cracking up and she kept sh-ing me. She was like a little kid spying on her crush. Lastly, I walked out of my room and the grandmother was squatting peeing in the yard. She is deaf but Mercedes yelled -Mama! Jenny te ve las nalgas!- (Jenny sees your butt!) I will have to stop there. More craziness from Tecoluca to come soon. We have dance (salsa, merengue, cumbia) class tomorrow at the PC training center. I can´t wait!

Tyson Update: I can now go to the bathroom all on my own with Tyson loose in the yard! Merecedes is so proud of me, but said to make sure I turn on the light at night to make sure he knows it´s me and doesn´t attack. So comforting.

view from the bus of volcano chichontepeque

my alarm clock, el gallo

my brother, Alejandro. yes, that is a grill in an old wheel.

view out my bedroom door to the kitchen

Grandma Graciela. she's precious and deaf.

my room

mosquito net/canopy bed

33 pc trainees just arrived. on our way to san vicente from the airport.

I hope to post some pictures soon, but until I do here is a little imagery of where I am living...

Quaint little town, no escape from the heat, blue skies, men on skinny wily horses hearding cows through the streets, lots of kids hanging around on bikes or playing soccer, people do LOTS of sitting and laying in hammocks because of the heat...

Brightly painted houses, patios or courtyards in the back with fruit trees. bathrooms, showers and clothes washing facilities are outside (state park style), raggedy tattered street dogs everywhere, women patting out fat tortillas and pupusas at road side stands. Smells of the tortillas, contaminated water and rain (when it falls) drift through the air. I´m writing from an internet cafe now and there are some kids next to me blasting reggaeton.

I will hopefully have pictures posted soon. Much love & peace to you all.

First night with my host family in Tecoluca went something like this... Dinner of pollo y arroz, watched a little novela with Graciela, my sister, and then sat on the front patio to watch the people walk by. I settled in to my lovely mosquito net canopy bed, read a little and then let the Avett Brothers sing me to sleep. I am SO glad I let everyone laugh at me for bringing my pillow because look who doesnt have to sleep on a pillow case stuffed full of wadded up panty hose now!

My family has a dog, Tyson, who hasn´t decided to like me yet. He is named after Mike Tyson, apparently because he´s black, but I have other ideas as to why they might have given him this name. I have to walk through the yard to get to the toilet (I would not refer to it as a bathroom), so when I woke at 12.30 I tried my best to go back to sleep in order to avoid risking my life on my way to the toilet with Tyson. When I realised I couldn´t I tried to think of anything I could do to avoid having to walk through Tyson´s lair. I even looked around for a cup. Finally, I had to wake up my madre to escort me to the bathroom. She held him at bay and gave me a broom to beat him off in case he tried to attack! She says he will get used to me soon and I won´t have to worry, but until then I´ll have to have her escort me. I feel kind of like a little kid all over again having to learn how to do everything and also being so well taken care of and looked after. Sounds nice I suppose, but I´m crossing my fingers I dont have to go tonight.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be made known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing (not even having to cross mean dogs on your way to the bathroon in the middles of the night), but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:4-7

On a side note I also learned today if a girl wants to go swimming here you have to wear a tshirt and shorts! When in Rome, right? I am just happy to have a pool close by.

I have now been in El Salvador for two days and despite all my anxieties everything has gone so smoothly. I had my first bit of nervous anxiety the night before I left. I didn't sleep a wink. I tossed and turned with fears that I would be so lonely and left out into the middle of nowhere to fend for myself... which in reality my happen at some point, but not yet.

First, let's back up. To everyone who was there to celebrate, wish me well, and wrap me in hugs THANK YOU! I was was so overwhelmed by your love and support. I seriously have the BEST friends in the world. You made my departure so bitter sweet and memorable. Thank you for the cards, cookies, meals, drinks, pictures and memories. I was very blessed by your smiles, toasts, hugs and kisses which I will continue to carry close to my heart until I see you again.

My thoughts are a bit scattered right now. It is the first time I have had a break from everything and internet access since I left Dallas at 7 am on Tuesday, July 7th. I think it's Thursday now and despite very little sleep everyone is enjoying a Pilsner (the Salvadoran beer) in the hotel bar as I write. The past 48 hours have been so jam packed full of activities, diarrhea seminars, typhoid vaccination and information. In fact my itinerary thus far has gone from Dallas-DC-San Salvador-San Vicente, and tomorrow we leave the comforts of our hotel to meet out host families and move into our training communities. There will probably be 4 or 5 other Youth Development volunteers in my community and we will work and study together for the next 8 weeks. I am really excited to meet my family. I am most looking forward to learning from them and integrating into their lives.

On a fun note, there are two other Texans in our group of 33 trainees and one of them, Brad, went to TCU. Everyone here is so friendly and has such a heart to serve. It's so awesome to be surrounded by so many like minded people.

I've known for a while that there was about to be a big change in my life. I wasn't sure what it would look like, but as I pondered my options I knew it would be on a grand scale. I have thought about doing Peace Corps since college and it was an idea that just never left the back of my mind. It sounded exciting, daring and well, BIG. Dad always says "Bear, just throw a bunch of mud up on the wall and see what sticks." And although I fought his counsel for many of my younger years, this philosophy has seemed to work out pretty well. So, in September 2008 I threw the mud and began the application process. It was long and often seemed like I was getting nowhere. In short, I really didn't think it was going to work out. But then things just began to click. I was nominated to a program in Central America, received medical and security clearance and all the sudden leaving for 27 months to live and work in a third world country was a reality.

As I have been preparing my heart and mind for this new adventure over the past few months I have learned and realized a few things. First, is why I want to do this. Why I want to give up everything I have here to face probably some of the hardest challenges I will ever face in my life with people I have yet to know and in country I have never visited. After living in Dallas for three years I have slowly begun to love this wretched city of cement. I have seen how resilient and beautiful the people are here. I have seen what we have and how comfortable life can be here. However, what I do not want to happen is to put on my American made blinders to the rest of the world. I'm not going lie, I have a pretty great life here. Great friends, family, job, my health and more music, art and good food to feed my soul than I could ever all digest. So much so that sometimes I feel it is too much and I need a struggle, a little bit of pain. So my heart tells me I need to go. I just might have been given these gifts so that I can give them away again. Kind of a re-gift. I love re-gifting. People have told me how honorable they think this is, but honestly I still feel a little selfish about it. I know for every ounce of sweat, love and energy I pour into the Salvadoran people I am going to be rewarded ten fold. It's inevitable.

Secondly, I have realized that this life has been given to me to LIVE and to LIVE fully. Some how along the way my idea of living has changed, it's grown. I have had the opportunity to see so much of the world its beauty and its filth, its triumphs and its heart wrenching struggles. And I want to see more. I want to do more. So when opportunity falls in my lap I take it as a green light, an open door, a slap on the ass to go! As scary and daunting as it may be, I know I would wonder and regret what might have been if I don't take all of the big and little leaps of faith in life. When I received my nomination letter I was honestly terrified. I cried tears of joy but also fear. I thought I might miss out on something. I realized I would be 29 when I return. I wasn't sure I was up to the job. All these things ran though my head and even today still cross my mind, but what kept coming back was knowing the life changing, once in lifetime opportunity I would be passing up to live and serve a people and country who are in need.

I humbly ask that you would would pray for me, the other PCV's (Peace Corps Volunteers), and the people of El Salvador. Please pray for our protection, health, patience, a smooth transition and open hearts to a new culture and family community, and also that I would be of service to their expressed needs.

To all I call family or friend, you amaze me. You are beautiful. You make life worth living, loving and giving thanks for every breath I breathe. Do not say goodbye, but only hasta luego or see you later. And please come visit, if you dare. I will welcome you with open arms and a hopefully a hammock.

Nitty Gritty DetailsJuly 7th: Departure to Washington, D.C.July 8th: Arrive in San Vicente, El Salvador for 8 weeks of trainingSeptember 4th: Complete training, swear in & move to permanent communityJob: Youth Development, teaching and working with Salvadoran youthDuration: 27 months, 7/2009-9/2011