Today was a long day.

It started the night before, when I went out with a group of volunteers on a veritable bar crawl to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday. It was warranted, given we had secured a viewing area for the game, complete with projector, TVs on the side for no good reason, and rotating fans which we didn't really need (it can get surprisingly cold here sometimes). After 4 beers and an insufficient amount of food to counterbalance the alcohol, we bought a few snacks (and a bottle of scotch) and took a quick nap before the game started at 2:30AM.

We woke up pretty groggy to say the least. Actually, some of us didn't wake up at all. Only about 50% of us committed to watching the game after our 2 or 3-hour doze. But we sure were glad we got to watch it. Exciting to the end, just how every Super Bowl should be! And it turned out that, right as the game ended, I had just enough time to walk back home, clean myself up, and pack my things for Mtwara: Part 2.

While I could have simply hopped a bus in town this morning, I decided to stop by the district offices to let my co-workers know I was going to Mtwara again for a longer stay, also hoping I could get a free ride in a government car. While there wasn't a car leaving in the morning, I was told there would be one in the afternoon. After being convinced that I wouldn't be getting any work done today, regardless of whether I left in the morning or the afternoon (there's nothing quite like that fantastic Tanzanian work ethic!), I reluctantly waited in the office for transport.

Lo and behold, it's the end of the work day, 4:00PM and there never was a car. And now it's too late to catch a bus. I spent most of today just trying to stay awake long enough to get into a car, thinking I could sleep off last night on the ride into town. Instead, I've been duped into wasting an entire work day waiting for imaginary transport, all while having to remain conscious enough to appear like I'm not about to pass out on my desk.

I'm looking forward to sleeping this off tonight.

February has arrived, and we are waist-deep in preparations for the TZ21 project launch!

Quite a few things changed in the time I left to start my new life in my new town. Most notably, the launch date has been pushed back. I was quite surprised to hear this news, mostly because I hadn't heard it sooner, but it was apparently a recent development. The information hasn't yet made its way into the districts because the new date isn't actually set yet; we have to run it through the embassy to make room in the ambassador's schedule, as well as the president's.

Also, the venue has changed. We had plans to have the launch party at one of the primary schools that received pilot ICT equipment, but apparently there were security issues; basically, the roads out to the school are awful, especially now that the rains have started, and we can't have the president of Tanzania or the ambassador of the United States riding on these awful dirt roads and risking personal injury just to attend our meager event. No, that's too risky, and it would make the president feel bad that his country has so many terrible, terrible roads. Ironically, I've heard that the venue we're switching to is also on a dirt road, and from what I remember, it's also pretty terrible. But hey, we'll do anything to get them on the guest list. It's not every day you get to meet two massively important government officials!

So even though everything I knew (or thought I knew) about this event has turned into a moving target, I've been summoned to Mtwara to take part in the preparations. It all happened rather suddenly; I got a phone call on Tuesday morning and was in a government car the next day headed into town. Now it seems I may be here a bit longer than expected; I was only supposed to come in until the end of the week, but now it's looking as if they want to keep me here just about until the launch actually happens.

I came into town to help our IYF friends with testing their e-content in the pilot schools. You might remember that our Inveneo friends installed the pilot equipment at the end of last year. Because of delays in the process of getting permits to shoot video for the e-content, there were associated delays in getting the e-content ready for pilot testing. All things considered, they got the beta videos together pretty quick! In the past two days, we've been in the classrooms using the videos to help teachers teach lessons on greetings and expressing thanks in English. In addition to testing how well the students respond to the videos, we're also analyzing how well the hardware performs. This is where my job begins.

We're having issues in our mobile lab setup when we try to stream the e-content from the teacher's laptop to the students' laptops. We're attempting to do this wirelessly, and it appears we've hit some sort of bottleneck, as the video stutters badly during playback. My job is to get this working before the launch. We've discussed possible solutions, some of which radically change the setup (which will make things interesting for the accounting department) and might anger the admin team. I'm hopeful that we can figure out a way to get it working with what we have. In the midst of all this, I've also identified some issues in the procurement of the e-content. That always seems to be the way; for every obstacle you tackle, 3 more come flying right at you.

Hopefully this all leads to more lines of communication coming in my direction. Since I've been out in the district, it almost feels like I'm no longer a part of the project.

In perhaps the surest sign of madness since I've started preparations for a monthly budget, I have been doing a fairly extensive analysis on food prices in the soko (market) in town. Shown below is a sample of the table I created with the data I collected this past Thursday, just before I bought my new oven (quite a successful day, I admit). You can get the whole table here.

Yeah, maybe I went a little overboard. Questions of sanity aside, this will certainly help me out in the long run. Shopping lists should be much easier to write up, and I'll be able to calculate almost precisely how much money to bring with me, which cuts down on impulse spending and keeps me from carrying unnecessarily large sums for no reason (something to avoid in places like the market, with its narrow, crowded passages).

This is also going to be tremendously helpful next month, which marks Peace Corps/Tanzania's annual Volunteer Allowance Survey. Every February, PCVs are asked to fill out an Excel Spreadsheet detailing their spending for the month, including minuscule things like how much a tomato costs locally and how many were bought throughout the month. While it isn't mandatory, the data collected is the sole determining factor for whether or not our pay gets raised (or in certain rare circumstances, lowered), and HQ needs at least a 70-75% response rate in order to approve it. Ask any Volunteer if they could use a pay raise, and the answer is an unequivocal yes.

While I'd readily admit a raise wasn't necessary living in Singida, prices are quite different down south. The data I now have further proves it. I have no doubt that I can make it work and even save up a bit in the process, but it will take considerably more planning and discretion with regard to spending.

To celebrate Zanzibar Revolutionary Day (Zanzibar's "Independence Day"), I've purchased this giant cooking apparatus. It's been nearly two weeks since I moved in and I've had no way to cook for myself. While I went almost 6 months in Singida without cooking anything at home, the circumstances are now quite different. First of all, I'm not scared of poisoning myself anymore. Second, quick access to local mgahawas (small shops that serve food) is quite limited here, and they're a bit more expensive. Lastly, I actually have a decent grip on some culinary skills now, and would like to continue extending them.

As you can see in the picture above, the cooking unit I've selected has a small oven (!!). What you aren't able to see is the auxiliary rotisserie function it also has (!!!). Yeah, that means I can make my own rotisserie chicken. Although that also means I need to learn how to slaughter a chicken; you can't buy pre-slaughtered chickens outside of Dar (not necessarily a bad thing). I'll let you know if I make any headway on that skill.

But I'm really excited about having an oven. I can actually bake things for real! I'm using this as an opportunity to get into bread-making. While I've seen bread around town (even some that says it's made in Masasi), I haven't found a bakery, which is where I prefer to buy my bread products. Ipso facto, I'll be my own bakery.

I'll post pictures when I succeed, either in slaughtering a chicken or making a loaf of bread. Graphic images (most likely of the former) will be accompanied with an appropriate warning if necessary.

The eyes are the window to the soul.No one really knows where this proverb originated. In any case, I believe there is some inherent truth to this, that simply gazing into someone's eyes can tell you a lot about them. Given how much time I spend staring through people, or with my head pointed at the ground in front of me, I've realized I should be intentional about changing this. Whether it's someone just walking by, or I'm deep in a one-on-one conversation, I'd like to spend a good deal of 2012 looking into people's eyes.

That's not creepy. Is it?

Blackout shutters!As you may remember, in one of my previous entries I hinted at big plans I had for my living area (check the last paragraph). That was referring to a hasty decision to, as a Christmas present to myself, rig up a home theater system in it, complete with surround sound system and ceiling-mounted projector. Crazy idea, right? I'm still only in the planning stages though, and as it stands there are some rather large obstacles I'll have to confront before the dream becomes reality.

First is that of power. After my first week in the new house, I've noticed that this is going to be an issue. Unlike in Singida, where the power outages were actually predictable and you could plan around them, the cuts here are not. They also vary in length from a few minutes to almost an entire day.

Second is the sound system. The projector and the PC to drive the content are things I plan to buy while at home in March, but the sound system is rather large and would be difficult to take on a plane. This means it's better to just get one here, and the closer to home it already is, the better. Unfortunately, all the shops in my town (while they surprisingly have good brands like Sony) stock systems that have no inputs (or rather, non-HDMI inputs that don't support surround sound), meaning that the only (surround) sound you can get from it is the sound from the included DVD player. They're also about 3-4x more expensive than their retail price, though that's to be expected given the circumstances. Looks like I'll have to shop around Dar for this.

The remaining issues are a bit more abstract; how much money do I want to spend, and is it really worth it when I'll only have it here for about 6 months? And things break in Africa. Maybe it's better to wait.

But then I look at this room. Gosh darnit, it's just too perfect for this. It would be a crime not to do something this crazy.

On the first day of the year, a man went on a journey. Close to his home there was a hill, and on top of that hill was a cross, set there in cement by someone years ago. The LORD told him, "go to the top of the hill, and I will meet with you there." So he woke up early in the morning, packed his bag with biskuti [English tea biscuits] and water (and a camera), and started off. As he approached the hill, he pulled out his camera so that he might share the story of his journey with his family and friends. "Surely they will want to see this for themselves, so I will capture many videos and narrate the climb!" But this was not what the LORD had commanded, so He caused the camera to malfunction. After a few minutes of fiddling and cursing at the camera, the man gave up and decided to carry on.

When the man began to climb, the path so plainly laid out before him at the foot of the hill ended. Feeling bold, he marched on with confidence that he could find his own way to the top. Within fifteen minutes, his faith in himself was shaken to its core; he had taken no measures to mark his path, and he was heading in the wrong direction. Thinking his climb would be over as soon as it started, and afraid that he may get hurt trying to get down, he began to pray out of desperation for someone to help him. His goal to reach the top now seemed impossible, infinitely out of reach.

Just then, as he sat clinging to a boulder embedded in the side of the hill, an angel came up out of the brush. He was very short and wore an old hat; his pace was slow and calm, but his steps were sure and steady. He also wielded a panga [a machete] in his right hand. The man was still afraid, but when the angel saw him, he smiled to reveal that his front teeth, both top and bottom, were missing. After exchanging greetings, the man asked if the angel lived on the hill: "Ndiyo [yes]," he replied, "ninaishi juu [I live on the top]!" With that, the man knew he could ask for help.

"Ninataka kwenda msarabani [I want to go to the cross]," the man said, "Unisindikize [can you take me there?]" The angel responded that he had been many times, and had even taken other (white) people so they could pray there. The man's spirits quickly lifted with this good news. As he picked himself up off the rock, the angel said "Unipe elfu mbili, tutakwenda pamoja [if you give me 2,000 shillings, we will go together]." Undeterred by the request for payment, they set off on their way.

In order to reach the top, they first had to climb back down. The angel led the man down a strange path, one that was often narrow, occasionally harrowing, and at times did not resemble a path at all. But the angel knew the way; he never wavered, and he took every step with confidence. Even as they began the climb upward, and the path became steep and treacherous, the angel kept the man focused. "Taratibu [carefully]," he told the man. Despite the times when he thought he had no footing, the man found that the earth beneath him held steady; not once did his foot slip. As they approached the rock where the cross was planted, the wind began to blow forcefully. Cool and refreshing, the man was amazed and praised God. He was also amazed when he saw aloe vera plants growing up out of the rocks that surrounded the cross.

When he climbed up to where the cross was, he quickly bowed his head and gave the LORD thanks for giving him the strength to do what was seemingly impossible earlier that day. He reveled in the wind that blew, and breathed it in, believing it was the breath of God blowing down into the valley. From the top of the hill, the man could see for miles and miles. He was humbled by the vastness of the land and the meagerness of humanity's presence.

For the first time in a long time, he felt that God was with him.

The time came that they should climb down, so that the angel could return to his work of making charcoal (and so he could receive his payment). As they left the rocks, the LORD told the man "Take two of these aloe vera plants with you, and plant them near your doorway. Let them serve as a reminder to you that I am the LORD that heals your wounds, and that I will always protect you." And so the angel helped the man go out on the rocks, and they pulled up two plants to carry down the hill with them.

When they arrived at the bottom, the man was so grateful that he gave the angel his bottle of water and biskuti, and even paid a little extra for his trouble. The angel received these gifts and, without hesitation, embraced the man and lifted up a prayer for him. With that, the angel left on his journey back up the hill. And the man, as he was commanded, went home and planted the aloe vera near his doorway, as a reminder that his LORD will always protect him and heal his wounds.

Yes, I'm writing about soap. The reason being it does such remarkable things, seemingly defying laws of common sense. Also because I've been in a hotel for the past two weeks using it.

When does soap become "Luxury" soap?A little background: when you stay in hotels in Tanzania, they usually provide you with a towel and soap (already in your room if you're lucky!), and more often than not, the soap they stock is Eva brand. It usually comes in the cute travel size you see in the picture, though I have foggy memories of bigger bars being available when I first started my service. As a Peace Corps Volunteer, this makes it a good item to take with you when you check out; it's small, it's light, and best of all, it's free! Most well-traveled PCVs have a stockpile in their house for those moments you find yourself without laundry detergent or a decent bar for bucket baths.

But why is it so remarkable? Well, for one thing, once you get it wet, it is absolutely impossible to keep it in your hand. You might think this is an ordinary quality of all soaps, but I've noticed Eva is extraordinarily slippery. On average, I probably drop it 3-4 times more than most other soaps I've used. Which is aggravating when you consider how difficult it is to get a lather out of it.

The other peculiar thing about Eva is its staying power. That is to say, once you do get it on your skin, it's quite hard to remove. Lots of cheap soaps leave residue, and Eva is definitely no exception. This goes doubly if you've decided to use it for washing clothes in the sink. My advice to PCVs is don't do this. Just don't. I did it a few days ago and it didn't go well. I rinsed each garment for a good 25 minutes and the soap was still coming off. I finally gave up and ended up with undershirts that had that awful gritty feeling when you use too much soap.

So there you have it; soap that's impossible to hold, impossible to lather, and impossible to wash off if you ever manage to overcome the first two. Pretty remarkable, don't you think?

We've nearly reached the end of 2011, which means it's time for inward reflection! Those of you that like to peek inside my head I'm sure are no doubt excited about reading this post. What's nice about inward reflection for me these days is that it's much easier to do now that I've been picking a word each year to hone in on. The idea is to "create a lens" through which you see the kind of person you want to become.

This year, myoneword was HIARI, a Swahili word that translates roughly as "free will." When I picked it, I wasn't really sure how well it fit with the guidelines for a word. It's easy to envision looking through a lens of "love" or "patience"; there are situations almost daily where we find the need to draw upon these virtues to be better people. But HIARI? What does that look like? To be honest, I chose it despite this problem because I wanted to understand more about what it is. We've all come across the paradox that, though God has planned out all the details of our lives before we were even in the womb, He also gave us HIARI. Lots of people have problems with this, including me. How can it be both ways?

This year taught me quite a bit about choices, but not at all the way I expected. If you asked me how I thought this might turn out at the beginning of the year, I would've said something like "God's going to point out all the [good] choices I make and show me how these choices affect His plans for my life." I include the word [good] because that would be my intention when I talk about my "choices" and "decisions"; surely most of them would be good, right?

I spent the majority of 2011 pushing God out of my heart and trying to replace Him with other things. I tried to replace Him with money, with possessions, with girls (thoughts of them, at least), and at various junctures, I even tried filling the void with myself. In other words, I inflated my ego. On one hand, it sounds like I totally ignored my responsibilities this year. But on the other, it taught me exactly what I wanted it to teach me. HIARI is a real thing. It's real, and it's something to be valued. Valued as in don't take it lightly. If you want, you can reject what is good and replace it with evil. If you want, you can even turn a good thing into something evil, depending on the situation. For example, bestowing charity on someone just to gain attention from people who see you do it. In this case, you turn charity and compassion into arrogance and pity.

The really sad part about all of this is how long it took me to realize what I was doing. It was easy to shrug off when external conditions were good (re: everything outside my control was working in my favor). But when things started to slide as the second half of the year pushed on, my character started to change. I became irritable over little things, I grew impatient more easily, and I was often surprised at myself by small, hateful thoughts that occasionally popped into my brain. I didn't understand what was happening at the time, but I sure do now. I was attempting to draw on the strength of things that couldn't provide it, either because they would collapse under the weight or because the source was simply imaginary and had nothing to give.

I made a lot of poor decisions this year, but none can match the choice I made to push God away. When I finally admitted to myself what I did, I felt the absence of God in my heart for the first time in my life. It was awful. Don't ever do it if you can help it.

Thankfully, and despite my proclivity this year to make bad choices, I noticed God was still affecting what was happening in my life. External circumstances, such as those surrounding my joining the TZ21 Project rather than going home or extending in Iringa, were things He used to shape my life, all without requiring a decision from me. Not only that, but He also made impacts through other people. Just because you aren't being a good steward doesn't mean others aren't as well. So even when God wasn't in my heart, He was in the circumstances and the people around me.

I'm still trying to recover to this day. I still have problems with being patient, I still pass judgement on people, and there is still a lingering sense deep inside that things aren't right. Fixing all of this isn't going to happen instantly; it will be a process. In the midst of the chaos, in the entropy of swirling thoughts in how I should go about it, one simple idea has surfaced repeatedly, calmly and without force: "just make your way back to the cross." You can take deep breaths when you wake up in the morning, you can stop and identify thoughts you want to cast out, and you can ask for Help when they start to overwhelm you. That's all fine. Just make sure you "make your way back to the cross." I know exactly Who's talking, and I know exactly what it means.

The cross is on the left end of that rainbow.On the small mountain range behind my new house, there is a cross that sits up on the rocks. Ever since I arrived in town, I've been pining to climb to it. Do I think it's absolutely necessary to reach it just to "fix" my relationship with God? No. But I think it will immeasurably help to make it more real. Finding your way back to the foot of the cross is not an easy task because it requires not the words in your mouth, but the aches of your heart. Expelling the sins in your life is something you must feel; otherwise, it is an empty gesture. The beauty of this is that it's impossible to force. Have you ever tried to force yourself to feel a certain way? It never works.

HIARI is a wonderful thing. It can incite ecstasy, and it can inflict unspeakable damage. But most importantly, it makes those things possible. Without it, we couldn't choose love over hate, we couldn't choose giving over taking...without it, we couldn't choose. And even though it's been a year full of mistakes and heartache, I will always be grateful He gave us the freedom to choose one or the other.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.- Proverbs 4:23

Last night, it finally hit me that it's Christmas. It was right around the time I was finishing up a beer in the center of the bus stand in my new town, when I felt the absence of my family. But I realize I've been pretty lucky to be so preoccupied with something else. I don't think it could get much worse than being alone with nothing to do over the holidays. Having a new house to fix up, and organize, and decorate, and be excited about has been a wonderful Christmas present for me.

After feeling a little sad, I started to think about the past 2 holiday seasons. How they've been different and how they've been similar. On the first Christmas I ever spent away from family, I was contemplating my impending medical evacuation to South Africa, due to my being diagnosed with foot drop. I was also burdening my counterpart, spending the entire afternoon in his room eating his food and watching war movies (it's the only American movies Tanzanians really enjoy, since the dialogue isn't really important). It sounds really really sad, but that is a fond memory of my early service. I didn't know the teachers at my school very well at that point, but this guy took me under his wing after we hung out, just one afternoon, drinking beers at the local kitimoto shop. At the time, December 25th was one of the better days compared to the others that surrounded it, and in hindsight, it will probably be one of the highlights of my life. Not necessarily because I enjoyed it in the moment, but because it was a showcase of God's grace and love for me when I felt I was descending into a valley.

Last year was the Christmas that provides the contrast to the two that book-end it. Thanks to the generosity of my parents and grandparents, I got to fly home for the holidays. And it was different from every other Christmas I'd had in America before because I had spent a year living with the other 3/4 of the world (and was going back after two short weeks). I didn't feel guilty; I didn't preach at my family or friends, that they should think harder about how much they take for granted; on the contrary, I was having trouble registering that the past year had actually happened. It was a strange feeling, but I had a new appreciation not just for the things we have in America, but for the people that were a part of my life (Peace Corps Volunteers/Staff and Tanzanians included).

And now, another Christmas is upon us. My contract with the Peace Corps ended before Thanksgiving, but I decided to extend for a year so I'm still here. I could have flown home for Christmas, on the Peace Corps' dime this time, but I've decided to take my leave in March so I'm still here. While it's certainly difficult to be away for the holidays, it's easy to see that God has His hand in how it's all working out.

Had I gone back to the States, I would've had to come back still homeless. The work on my house probably wouldn't have started until mid or late January, getting dangerously close to when we are scheduled to host our "Project Launch" down south (middle of February), featuring honored guests such as the United States Ambassador to Tanzania and the President of Tanzania himself, Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete. In all fairness, my living situation would've been low on the list of priorities.

Had I gone back to the States, I would've missed out on yet another Baseball season (you never know how much you miss something until you go 2 years without it), probably leading me to ET (Early Termination of Service) to avoid watching more incomprehensible Cricket matches. Spring Training can't get here soon enough!

So to my family and friends back in the States, if you're reading these words, know that you're in my thoughts, that I love you all, and that I wish I could be there with you to celebrate the holidays.

Heri ya Krismas, Mungu Awabariki, Allah Akhbar, na tutaonana hivi karibuni!

Repairs are underway on my house, and I've been pondering the above title since we started yesterday; some of the things we're doing (like hammering iron bars into the aging brick and mortar infrastructure) make me think there's something more substantial going on. Despite my doubts of its structural integrity, I'm quite confident the fixes we're making now will keep the house standing at least until I leave, if not for the duration of the TZ21 project (which is the ultimate goal). There's also nothing stopping the utter excitement I feel about beginning my second life in Peace Corps, in a brand new setting with new people, and (hopefully) with a fresh perspective. My house has been a big part of this so far, acting as the gateway at which this new life starts.The video above is just a sampling of the various things that have happened over the past two days. In it, you can see the roof being patched and painted, the interior wood frame being coated with used motor oil (natural termite repellent, apparently), cracks in the concrete being fixed inside and outside, ceiling boards finished in the living area, etc. In addition (not in the video), mosquito nets are in the windows, the electricity has been rewired, and the light fixtures are working as of this evening!

I'm pretty amazed at how fast things are getting done, but there's still plenty left to do. More ceiling boards, more concrete work, stuff in the bathroom and the kitchen, the other side of the roof needs to be painted, among other things. I honestly think moving in by Christmas is a real possibility; as long as I get a bed with a mosquito net in my bedroom, locks on the doors, and we make sure the choo is functional, I would consider it safe to spend the night inside.

A house would be a nice Christmas present, I have to say. But I've already got a plan for the Christmas present I want to give to myself. It has something to do with my living area. I'll share more details in another entry in relatively short order, just be patient!

I got back from the annual conference last Thursday, just in time to celebrate Tanzania's 50 years of independence not in Dar, which I'm convinced was probably a good thing. The traffic there was even more unbelievable than usual leading up to December 9th, and the rains that fell during the week certainly didn't help (the road from my hotel to the annual conference flooded BIG time on Thursday). In any case, hongera to Tanzania for being free for 50 years! It's funny to hear some other volunteers are running into Tanzanians that honestly believe they were better off as a colony of western countries; I've heard one or two people broadcast that same thought.

As for the annual conference, it went as well as it could have, considering the schedule set for it. We accomplished most of our objectives, and it was helpful for me to learn more about the Implementing Partners involved with the project (except for Agile Learning, who's in charge of the Education Management Information System; they didn't show up). Unfortunately, we really didn't get to deliberate on what Creative calls "emerging issues," or perhaps this is a generic real-world work term that I hadn't heard before. They're basically roadblocks and problems that keep us from getting things done. For example, one of our current emerging issues is getting electronics through customs; the pilot equipment arrived in Tanzania at the end of September, but wasn't cleared to leave the airport until the week we installed it. And that was just kid stuff compared to the procurement of equipment that will happen early next year.

In any case, the venue for the conference was the gorgeous Double Tree hotel in Oyster Bay. We didn't actually stay there (it costs ~$255/night), but we got hang out by the pool and eat at the buffet. I definitely felt a little mshamba (like a yokel, redneck) in the midst of such luxuries. They had these glasses of red and green...something scattered across the tables, and I was endlessly fascinated with them until I finally summoned the courage to pour some of it into my glass of water. Turns out it was some kind of concentrated syrup that was supposed to add flavor to water, but it was honestly pretty gross. Mshamba-ness aside, I think it's a good thing I'm still a ways removed from the finer things in life (like strange, high fructose corn syrup-based water flavor enhancers). I'm starting to see that the big danger in international development work is losing touch with who you're trying to help. Even just being in Mtwara town I've noticed it's a problem, so I can't even imagine trying to do it in a place like Dar.

I am currently sitting in the regional office for my project, and no one is here. It's not a wtf moment, I actually knew this would happen last week.

My colleagues are in Dar es Salaam right now; they left yesterday for some project-related administrative meetings, which apparently don't concern me. Except that I found out last week that they actually might. Some of the stuff they're meeting about has to do with financial matters, but as I type, they are sitting in on an "ICT Q&A." Basically a block of time where people can air their computer/IT-related questions to be fielded by the Dar office's lone IT support guy. When I found out last week they weren't flying me up until the evening, I asked them to put me on the morning flight so I could be there for the Q&A. They replied "why do you want to be there? You're the expert, you don't have any questions."

Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that you didn't want my help. Not to mention what I might have to contribute to the conversation on how to improve computer literacy, things we can do to be more efficient, and articulate problems that others don't know about or fully understand.

In the end, I had asked too late, and they refused to pay extra to have me at the meeting. I'm not angry that they wouldn't do it, but I am a little perplexed that they didn't see the value in having me there in the first place. I'm legitimately worried that when I finally leave this office, things are going to fall apart, or at least slow to a crawl. But frankly, I've waited so long for my house now that I don't care anymore. If you're going to saddle your free labor with the sole responsibility for making his house livable (2 months after you should've started doing something yourself), then surely you won't be surprised when he's no longer sympathetic that your printer (or God forbid your internet connection) stops working.

We just finished a workshop out in a village called Lukeledi. I don't know why, but I really like this place. From what I can tell, or from my very limited perspective of the area around the primary school, the village itself has nothing. It does have korosho (cashew nuts), but that's about it. Despite how impoverished it is, I still find myself wanting to stay here. Not forever, but at least a little while.

Why do I feel this way? Is it guilt, for being one of the lucky few born in the richest country on the planet? Is it the desire to help, and to improve the lives of the people here? Nope. I just wish my life was simpler. The people here are simple. They live simple lives. I'd like to think if I was boiled down to my essence, I'd find the same thing within me. But it isn't true. My life is complicated. Really complicated.

I suppose it's ironic then, that the reason I'm here is to make their lives more complicated; having computers in their community certainly won't make them any easier. Well, at least not yet.

Lots of things have happened since my last post. And unfortunately, lots of other things haven't happened. One thing that has happened is that I've paid a visit to my future house! Super exciting! Of course, given that I'm referring to it as my "future house," I'm implying that it isn't my current house. No. I'm still a nomad. And I'm closing in on two months since my departure from Singida.

It's been a slow two weeks. Not really a whole lot going on in my new line of work just yet, but I'm getting paid to stay in a 3-star hotel on Zanzibar...hard to complain about not having much to do. It is a bit unnerving to think that I've been living out of hotels since the beginning of September though, with no end in sight. I'm still in the dark about my placement since I never got a

Apologies for the lack of updates and tweets in the past 2 weeks; it's been hectic with preparations for my new leg of service, and my phone battery is another story. I got a replacement today after showing the broken one to a sales clerk. She commented "imevimba," to which I blindly replied "yes, imevimba," not knowing at all what "vimba" meant. Turns out it means to become inflamed, or in this

I'm back at my house as of yesterday evening, and it looks like a dust devil has wrecked havoc on its insides. Mostly because of the ongoing renovations that started while I was gone. Two weeks ago, my headmaster grew worried about what he had to do to get ready for my replacement; Peace Corps had sent him a letter about coming to Dar to pick up the new Volunteer, but they hadn't told him how to

It's official: I'm extending for a 3rd year! I'm still exhausted from last night's "closing ceremonies" and subsequent 4-hour dance party, not to mention the interview this morning that sealed the deal, so I'm not going into detail, but I'm working with a project called TZ21 Basic Education. It's essentially an initiative to incorporate computers and ICT frameworks into primary schools in Mtwara

July was a low key month for me. Mostly because I had to live on less than $40 after my vacation on Zanzibar (totally worth it). We started back at school around the time of my last post, and I've been busy teaching Form II and Form III Physics ever since. I also started a computer class for interested students after school. We've only met one week so far because of the electricity situation (

Forgive me for engaging in silly hyperbole, but to some extent I do believe this is occurring in Tanzania. I think even those of use that are Christians, if we observe the situation long enough, notice that it is inhibiting progress. Progress of what, exactly? Well, as an educator myself, I make the argument that religion is inhibiting intellectual progress. It isn't difficult to see; at my

I was going to wait a few more days before I posted this trailer, but I'm just too excited to share! I know it's been a while since I promised footage from my vacation, but editing and sifting through 8 days worth of HD video on an under-powered 10" netbook is actually quite difficult. Hopefully this will tide you over until I can put something long-form together. Share and enjoy!

This entry comes from the free ramblings in my private journal. Written on July 3rd, 2011One of the things I've loved about my time here in Tanzania is the walks into town. It's a rare occasion that I don't enjoy them or feel like they're wasted time. There's always something to think about, something to ponder, something to figure out. It's actually because of these walks that I'm feeling the

I just came back to the mainland yesterday after spending over a week on Zanzibar. It's difficult to succinctly describe how incredible Zanzibar is, so I'll simply leave it as that, incredible. I went with a friend originally with the intention to spend most of our time at the Zanzibar International Film Festival, but plans quickly changed after we found out how expensive life on Zanzibar was,

We're in the waning days of terminal exams here at school. Hard to believe I may not be here much longer. Between my vacation later this month to Zanzibar and COS conference at the beginning of August (and assuming I land the extension down south), I have only a precious pair of months left here at site. If my service has taught me anything, it's how fleeting and insignificant 2 years feels. Not

Sometimes it just sucks to be a Linux lover. This post is most-definitely nerdier than the average update on this blog, just forewarning for those of you less technically inclined (or less inclined to pay attention to such things). It's been an awful past few days in the world of technology for me. First and foremost, I picked up a Vodacom mobile broadband modem while I was in Dodoma this past

We're so close! I just returned from a trip to Morogoro; a subset of us that spent two weeks there in March made a second appearance to receive feedback on the not-yet completed manuals we've been writing for the Ministry of Education. We're now buckling down to get these submitted to the Ministry, and the brunt of the work is placed on my shoulders. It's mostly my fault for choosing to do things

Happy Mother's Day :) Though I'm unable to deliver flowers physically, I thought I'd gather what flowers I could (not many considering this is the desert) and "deliver" them this way. They're pretty interesting, especially the spiny and pokey orange one. Anybody want to find out what these actually are?

Given that you've made it to my lowly blog to read this, I can only assume you've seen the MLK-quote phenomenon sweep across your web browser, either on Facebook or Twitter or some news site scavenging for hits. It's probably even landed in newspapers all over America. If you haven't (maybe you've been unconscious the past few days?), here's the quote for your reference:I will mourn the loss of

Putting a video together with the monstrous amounts of footage I have has proven to be quite difficult. It's also much easier to edit when you're closer to it in the timeline (it's been a while since all the stuff I filmed was actually filmed). So alas, no video...yet. I've been keeping busy regardless. School is back to normal since the craziness of Easter weekend, and I'm struggling to get back

Traditionally, Easter weekend is a long weekend here in Tanzania because we have Good Friday and the following Monday (called "Easter Monday") off. This year it's even longer because Union Day falls on Tuesday of next week, so it's become a nice little 5-day break. As if that wasn't enough, I found out yesterday that my school is hosting this year's Catholic student Easter Conference. I'm not

Today marked the end of our O-level mid-term break. It also marked the end of A-level break at our school, so our boarding students returned yesterday. The result: utter chaos. We don't have much room in our dorms for boarding students, so when the government decided to give us 70 new Form Vs on top of the 58 we had last year, we had to improvise to make room for them all. Unfortunately, this

The conference is no more. We finished on Friday. Sorry I didn't share much in the past couple of weeks. I was hoping to update during the conference, but I greatly underestimated how much work I would be responsible for. Turns out I played a critical role in many aspects of the conference, something that would've been hard to plan for even if I had known in advance. We all ended up with a lot

If you follow my Twitter account, you may have caught a tweet that went out a week or two ago about a science conference. It is sponsored by the Ministry of Education and Vocational Training here in Tanzania, and it's all about creating hands-on science activities (practicals) using locally available materials. The time has flown by since then and we're now making preparations for our first day!

It's that time of year. Second-year PCVs are considering their options; to stay or not to stay. I have been looking at a wide variety of things in the recent days and weeks, from Americorps' VISTA program (props to my buddy Casey for bringing it to my attention), to grad school in South Africa, and most recently, the JET program. Granted, I've decided I'm not all that interested in teaching

Music credit: Bass Head, by Bassnectar This isn't the video I've been talking about for the past week, nor does it accomplish any of Peace Corps' core goals, but it's still awesome nonetheless. Share this with everyone you know so I can become a professional dancer when I COS please :) The other video is coming soon, I promise!

The new video won't be up until later this week, considering I'm still in search of music for the audio track. If you know of any good drum 'n bass or electronic artists with strong rhythms, let me know. Get excited though, it's about one of the "special" events I mentioned a couple weeks back :)

If you haven't noticed in recent weeks, I've switched from Youtube to Vimeo for uploading videos. It was a rather rash decision I made in the heat of the moment, because Youtube doesn't like the format I normally render my videos in. Since switching to Vimeo, I've run into a different problem; rather than being available almost immediately after uploading (like Youtube), Vimeo puts you in a queue

Unless you're following them on Twitter or Facebook, you probably weren't aware that Peace Corps recently released some new PSA print ads for publications and such. You can find them here. One of the ads in particular caught my attention: Let me preface this by reminding everyone that this blog contains my own opinions and has no official affiliation with the Peace Corps as a government

Just to elaborate a bit on the above, I hope to have two special updates in the coming weeks; one with some rock climbing and another about the Shika project. Both are currently tentative. Cross your fingers that I'll be able to get them in! And pray that I'll be a good teacher in the meantime...

To prevent dying of sheer boredom at MSC, I shot a short video about our permagardening session on the last day. There's really not much to see; this is more for my own purposes. After improving to an HD video camera during my stay at home, I realize there are other ways to improve my videos besides picture quality. Hopefully they'll become less one-dimensional (montages set to music) in the

I debated whether or not I would blog at the dawn of 2011, and I suppose you can see where I ended up. The debate existing because I'm currently State-side, and blogging would be unnecessary since my life in Tanzania is now on hold. Turns out a post might do me some good in expressing the things I'm experiencing in the US after spending a year abroad. Thoughts about this trip have been bouncing

Hope everyone had a wonderful Turkey Day in the States. Here's a little slice of our time in Singida region. Enjoy!

Almost half the world (3 billion people) live on less than $2.50 a day. I've been mulling it over the past few weeks, and I think I'm going to give this a try. For one month, I will attempt to live on $2 per day. I won't be able to do it until March, though. I'm coming back to the States for Christmas and New Years (won't be back at site until mid-January), and we fill out our annual living

Despite not receiving any of my own shadowers from the new intake of education volunteers, I took it upon myself to host all of the shadows that came out to the Singida region at the end of last week. So, on Friday afternoon, 7 people de-boarded in my town and took their places in my house. I have a fairly large house by Peace Corps standards, but 7 extra people will almost always require some

My first year of teaching has unofficially come to a close. The Form IVs finished their NECTAs back in mid-October and the Form IIs have now started their national exams. Over the next few weeks, perhaps I'll reflect. Right now, I'm getting ready to host 8 visitors on Friday. While I didn't receive any shadowers personally (for reasons unknown to me), I invited everyone in the Singida region to