I know kids, especially younger kids, do mean things sometimes. They don’t always understand fully how words and actions can hurt others. But today, I was met with a painful exception for which there was no excuse.

Lamar and I were walking home at dusk, and at least 10 “kids” of varying ages were out playing around in front of our house. There were some as young as 5 or 6 and some as old as at least 16 and 17. As we were passing by, I heard crying, but not human crying. I looked back, and a young boy had a puppy. He was putting the puppy between his knees. I thought this was a really weird thing to do, so I stopped and watched, just to make sure. Next thing I know, this kid is punching the puppy repeatedly in the head. He wasn’t hitting him or tapping him or anything remotely close: this kid has his fists balled up and he was punching the puppy.

Something inside me just snapped. I ran over there saying “no” and asking him what he thought he was doing. By the time I got to him, he had pulled the puppy up close to his face and was screaming at him about why he wasn’t able to listen or learn anything. I turned the kid around to face me, I bent down, I looked him in the eyes, and I asked him what he was doing beating that puppy. He looked at me blankly. Then, the saddest thing happened: all the “kids” just started laughing. There were teenagers and one girl who was an adult, for crying out loud! They all thought it was hysterically funny….this white girl worried about some kid punching a puppy to death. I told them it wasn’t funny and that it was a bad thing to do, and then I realized how useless it really was. I'm not sure what broke my heart more: the beaten puppy or the realization that it was all useless to try to get them to care. As we left, I heard them all screaming after us the only words they knew in English, “#$*& you!”

What makes all of this worse is that this wasn’t some puppy they found. About two months ago, I saw one of the kids (not the one punching him) taking the puppy home. He looked so happy. I stopped and talked to him. He had named it, and seemed to really be invested. I told him to be sure and take care of it and treat it well.

Kids are mean, but this was something extraordinary. It takes a special kind of inhumanity not only to do what I witnessed but to watch it and do nothing. And the most ironic part: the kid was irritated at the puppy because he “couldn’t listen and learn.” Interesting….I know the feeling.

Every Monday night, Lamar and I show a movie in English and serve free popcorn. Students and their friends are welcome to come to the university and watch. I give them a choice of four movies each week, and they choose the one they most want to see. It is nothing much, just a chance for them to take a break and have a little fun.

But last Monday the most rewarding thing happened. As usual, Lamar and I were sitting in the back enjoying the movie. The students had chosen The Great Debaters. One of the main characters who is a college professor and the debate team coach is introducing his class to the Harlem Renaissance and its most significant writers: Countee Cullen, Zora Neal Hurston, Langston Hughes. The next thing I know, one of my first year students is whispering to the third year student sitting next to her. Then she turns back and looks at me, and she has the proudest look on her face that I have ever seen. She grins, and turns back around to finish the movie.

In that moment, I felt so fulfilled. I have been teaching Introduction to Literature to my first year students, and we have spent the entire semester focused on African American literature. She has read works by Langston Hughes, Countee Cullen, and Zora Neale Hurston. She knew every author, and she knew exactly what the Harlem Renaissance was and why it was so important (both in America and Africa and around the world). And she was proud of it. And I was so proud of and for her.

To see a student feel knowledgeable and proud, to see a student trace the history of her brothers and sisters around the globe, and to see a student feel included in a world-wide historical discussion of race and equality was such an exceptional feeling. I am so glad I was finally given the opportunity to teach literature!

As my Peace Corps service is drawing to a close, I am (naturally) looking back at my service experience, accounting for my time here. Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Have I given it my 100%, absolute best? Have I tread softly, encouraging others toward success with gentleness and love? Have I fought for those without a voice, those without a fair chance? Have I put myself second and others first? Have I been a good example in my behavior and speech? Have I done what was right regardless of what others were doing? Have I been forgiving and patient? Am I leaving a legacy that is righteous and honorable? Did I work as hard as I could have? Have I been honest? I wish I could say the answers to all were “yes.” More often than not, the answer is “I tried.”

But I plan to continue to work in all things and end my service with integrity and dignity, doing what I can to ensure the success of my students and the success of future volunteers at this site. At the end of the day, this is all any of us can do.

Perhaps my service will be well received and perceived; perhaps it will not. But I have the assurance of knowing that I tried to do the very best I could by Cape Verde and its people.

"So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; And He will come to us like the rain, Like the spring rain watering the earth." (Hosea 6:3-4)

 

The drum lines.

Just fascinating: Cape Verdeans painted black, "pretending" to be "African." Oh, the paper I could write on this one! Seriously: fascinating!

Their costume: mud.

This cutie-pie decided she wanted to watch Carnival with us. So, she did. When she was tired, she took a break and sat on my feet eating popcorn. Nice.

The theme this year was the seven wonders. These guys were Rome. My seamstress, Dona Milo, made these costumes!

Egypt

This picture gives you a good idea of the size of the floats. They were really beautiful.

Thursday, February 24th and Friday, February 25th, teachers and student-teachers from Santo Antao and Mindelo participated in the 2nd Annual Teachers of English Workshop. It was so great to see teachers get together to share ideas, talk about issues in the classroom, and just generally work together to improve English education in Cape Verde. It was a great experience. Here are some pictures from the event:

Valdir, Donzilia, and Isaac: UNI-CV college students. They gave a great presentation on classroom management. I was so proud of them! And everyone LOVED the presentation.

 Teachers from Mindelo and Santo Antao doing group work during the workshop.

Fedra, from Ludgero Lima in Mindelo. Fedra and Jimmy did an AWESOME presentation on classroom motivation. They were so enthusiastic and well-prepared. They set the bar high for next year's presenters.

My counterpart, Ms. Brito. She is the delegada for the education department here in Sao Vicente. She is super organized, efficient, and nice! She is a great counterpart. I am going to be sad to leave her.

Kate, a volunteer from Santo Antao, and Celestino, my Peace Corps boss. They were both such HUGE helps during the workshop. I could not ask for better friends and colleagues.

Donzilia, my best friend here in Cape Verde. Look at that face?! Isn't she just so cute.

Misty, a Peace Corps volunteer from Praia. She is giving her presentation on writing and current events in the classroom. It was definitely one of the favorite presentations at the workshop. She came all the way from Praia just to help me out with the workshop.

Me....checking off things on my list.

Megan, a Peace Corps volunteer from Santo Antao, and I. We were busy filling resource folders and completing diplomas. Megan was awesome--she worked all week and never complained once.

The group! We had a total of 77 teachers.

Paul Simon. I love his music because he does both things so well: the music and the lyrics. If you don't know his work, you definitely should.

I know a woman

Became a wife

These are the very words she uses

To describe her life

She said a good day

Ain't got no rain

She said a bad day's when I lie in bed

And think of things that might have been

Slip slidin' away

Slip slidin' away

You know the nearer your destination

The more you're slip slidin' away

And I count myself blessed. I know so many living a life of regret.

Maybe I think too much

Maybe I think too much

Maybe I think too much

Maybe I think too much

They say the left side of the brain

Dominates the right

And the right side has to labor

Through the long and speechless night

And the right side endures...

One and one-half wandering jews

Free to wander wherever they choose

Are travelling together

In the sangre de cristo

The blood of christ mountains

Of new mexico

On the last leg of the journey

They started a long time ago

The arc of a love affair

Rainbows in the high desert air

Mountain passes slipping into stones

Hearts and bones

Still free to wander...

These are the days of miracle and wonder

This is the long distance call

The way the camera follows us in slo-mo

The way we look to us all

The way we look to a distant constellation

That's dying in a corner of the sky

These are the days of miracle and wonder

I know to whom I look...

Some people say the sky is just the sky

But I say

Why deny the obvious child?

Still working to acknowledge the obvious child...

Thanks to my parents' generosity, Lamar and I spent an awesome Christmas with our family and friends back in the States. We spent three weeks in Arkansas, with Lamar traveling to Albuquerque for a week to visit his family. It was so wonderful to have everyone together to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Two of my favorite people. My cup runneth over.



 Beautiful Albuquerque

 Our return to Cape Verde was nice as well. Our sweet friends made sure our apartment was sparkling clean when we arrived. There was even a welcome home sign. It is a peculiar thing to leave one home to arrive at another.

(Finished two great books: Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga and The Last Report on the Miracle at Little No Horse by Louise Erdrich. I highly recommend them, if you have the time and inclination.)

This is late, but here is my Thanksgiving post for 2010.

I am thankful that Lamar and I are an excellent team. We have always worked well together; I think that is one of the reasons we get along so well. We can accomplish tasks together. Well, we made a nice Thanksgiving dinner together, and it was great. We wanted to have a Cape Verdean Thanksgiving this year. I am thankful for friends, especially the friends I have made here during my service. We invited one of Lamar's friends from work and his wife, a former student of mine, and two of our ex-patriot friends here. I am thankful for learning a new language. We spent the night speaking Creole/Portuguese and having a great time together. It was so rewarding.I am thankful for being able to find a turkey and the things we needed to make an American dinner. It was such a blessing to have a taste of home. We even saved the wild rice our Sunday school class in Albuquerque sent us for tonight. It was great.I am thankful for being able to open up our home to people I care about and feed them, love them, and pray blessings over them.

Lamar and I and our Thanksgiving table cloth and homemade banner.

Me washing dishes in an apron (aka Lamar's old t-shirt) with our beautiful view behind me.

Back, from left: Lamar, me, Valdir, Dominika

Front, from left: Isaac, Rosa (Valdir's wife), and Laurence

Some of our Thanksgiving decorations: politically incorrect and culturally insensitive Native Americans and Pilgrims.

After dinner, we cleaned up, and then we put up Christmas decorations, including this little guy:



I started conducting observations this week for my new job with Peace Corps. I attended the classes of six English teachers at a local high school here in Mindelo. I came to the class, observed, and took notes. I have a form with a set of criteria for evaluation provided by the local university for evaluating teachers. At the end of this week, I can honestly say the most important thing I learned all week was just how important and powerful a positive attitude and a kind word can be.

My first two observations were “cancelled” because the teachers did not want me in their classrooms. I was a little shocked and hurt, and but I understood. People feel insecure and threatened by having a native speaker evaluate them. I imagine it would be how I would feel if I had a native Portuguese speaker evaluate me teaching a Portuguese class. So, I tried not to let this bother me, and I observed the other six teachers who were warm and welcoming. I showed up each day, briefly introduced myself, and then followed them to class. I sat in the back, observed the class, and then arranged a meeting next week to provide feedback.

In every single instance, as the teacher and I were leaving the classroom, they all asked me some form of this question: “Are you going to tell me what I did wrong when we meet?” I was taken aback the first few times, but then I came to expect it.

I had to explain to the teachers that I was not doing that sort of observation. I was not there to write down every single grammar mistake they made or correct their pronunciation or criticize their classroom management or lesson plans. I explained that I was there to see what they were doing in their classes that was working, to share ideas and resources, and to learn about teaching in Cape Verde. With that in mind, I made sure to leave each teacher with a comment about at least two things that they did really well.

When I told the teachers some of the elements I liked about their lessons, that reaction was also the same: total shock, a look of elation that is indescribable, relief, and teary eyes.

This got me thinking: what have people been telling these teachers, how have they been treated? I mean, for crying out loud. When you offer praise to a teacher and they almost cry, you know there is a problem somewhere. Now, I am not saying these teachers were perfect, and I am fully aware of the teachers in Cape Verde that are morally and intellectually inept, but these teachers were a different story. Yes, they had some issues that could use improvement, but they were also doing things that were really working as well. They just needed someone to build their confidence, to tell them they are doing a good job, to appreciate them.

So, I was reminded of a super-important lesson this week: a positive attitude and a kind word go a long way. I think there is a time and a place for criticism and consequences, but there is also a time for encouragement. Seeing those teachers feeling good about themselves is one of the most rewarding experiences I have had during Peace Corps service.

When I finally finished graduate school, I felt really weird. I had been a student for 24 years. I wasn’t quite sure what it was I wanted to do, but I knew it wasn’t school related. Lamar and I decided we should devote some time to service and giving back. Life has a way of taking over, and we wanted to travel, serve, and experience some of the world before that happened. So, we joined Peace Corps. But all the time, I knew this day would come…

Fall 2011 will be here before we know it, and we need jobs. For Lamar, this is easy. The man has actual, practical skills. He is talented, hard-working, and skilled. He will always be able to find work. I, however, am a much different story. I have one, teeny, tiny, super –specific thing I do. Finding a job for me looks much different.

After spending 13 years in primary and secondary school, and then eleven years in college and graduate school, I have to confess that unfortunately, much of my self-worth is wrapped up in my career. I know this is ridiculous, but it continually creeps in, and it is getting worse as the job search begins.

Tenure track positions at universities in America are unbelievably competitive. I mean, it is outrageous. I have already applied to nine schools, and now I just wait. I wait to see if I even get called back for an interview. I wait to see if they consider my location with Peace Corps as too much trouble to even deal with. I wait to see if they go with someone with more publications than me. I wait to see if they think my secondary specializations are an adequate match for their department. I wait to see if they feel my research has potential to draw outside funding. I wait to see if I am too young. I wait, wait, wait. It is so difficult not to take the process personally. After devoting so much time and energy to my studies, it is hard to not take it personally. I wake up thinking about it, and I go to bed thinking about it. And the thought of not getting a job this round, and having to repeat the process during the second-semester call for jobs is almost too much to consider…

But I know (heart and head) that God has a place and a plan for us. There is somewhere He wants us to be. There is a university (or high school, or Target), where my services are needed and will be appreciated. I just have to let go and trust Him to guide us there.

On the Peace Corps front:

I am working on a project with my students at the private university that I am beyond excited about. I want the project to take a more solid shape before I discuss it. But trust me: this one is going to be good! I am so excited to see what my students will do with this.

Lamar’s English class is huge this year, and he is doing great. He is really working to create unit and lesson plans. He even has one student from last year that he is still tutoring.

We made a nice dinner for our Brazilian pastor and his family last night. They are sweet people, and it was nice to spend time with them.

Yoga is still going great, and I would like to think that both Lamar and I are improving. We try, and efforts and intentions have to count for something.

Hope everyone is well. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Today is our 2nd year anniversary. It feels like our time here in Cape Verde is flying by. I know we will be home before we know it , and this experience will only be a memory.

As I was reading Ecclesiastes today one chapter stood out to me.

"Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:9 --Lamar

BCA (Banco Comercial do Atlântico) is the bank Peace Corps uses here in Cape Verde, hence, the bank we use. We like to call it “No man’s land,” “that place we refuse to go,” and “air-conditioned hell.” Well, Lamar lost his card in the ATM machine at the airport. When we realized what had happened, we were instantly panicked. We were not worried about the card, not having money, etc. No, we both instantly realized what this meant: we would have to go into BCA….and not our local BCA, but the main branch, which is just a bigger, meaner, worse version of the smaller BCAs around here.

Monday morning we woke up early and headed to the bank. We got there at 7:50….there was already a group of people outside. We joined the group. At 8:02, a line formed outside the bank, but it was still not open. At 8:07, the bank opened its doors. We took our number for line A to get money out and a number for line B to request a new card. That’s right: you cannot do that at one place (that would be too efficient). You have to stand in line twice. Nice.

At 8:15, the workers were starting to turn on their computers, get their coffee, greet each other, etc. Watching them do this just makes you want to punch them in the face, but I digress. At 8:17, the power went out. At 8:20, it came back on. About 8:30 they started helping folks. We had number 28 in line A and number 17 in line B. We started to wait.

Line B had two stations ran by two men. They meant business. They started calling numbers and taking care of business. No number, no help! Awesome! Lamar got called for line B, and he requested the new card. Since the card was eaten at the ATM at the airport, the man said it would go to another bank. It would take at least a week to collect it. Then they would have to arrange a trade. He gave Lamar the advice to go to the other bank directly and skip the trade, which could take anywhere from 2-4 weeks. We loved him for the heads up.

Now…back to line A. By 9:45, we still had not been helped and our number had not been called. How is it that after two hours they were not to 28 you might ask? Well, let me tell you. First of all, you don’t really need a number—that is just for stupid and gullible people (like us). Anyone at any time can walk right up and get helped if you fall into any one of the following categories: old (or just look old), have a baby, are pregnant (or say you are), look Portuguese, police, work for any major business in Cape Verde, or are just pushy and loud enough. At one point, a guy walks up in front of us with the number 19. The teller is on number 21 at this point. She tells him she can’t help him. He pitches a fit, saying he had things to do and had to leave…blah, blah, blah. It was like listening to an obnoxious four year old. She tells him no. We feel vindicated…for a minute. Ten minutes later, she helps him…before us. Way to teach him a lesson bank lady.

Of course, Lamar and I are constantly trying to set a good example. We believe in doing the honest and right thing and modeling just and fair behavior. It is not always so easy…like when we are at BCA. We watched person after person go in front of us without a number. We were the only ones left from our original group at this point. At one point, Lamar started asking people walking in front of us where their tickets were: they just looked at him like he had lost his mind: "Ticket, I don't need any ticket." We finally get our number called, and the lady immediately looks at us with this sad look and says something along the lines of , “Sorry, there were a lot of people who were pregnant and old today.” Apparently she had stared at our faces so long she felt bad. We finally got out our money and left…at 10:10 a.m.

Oh, BCA!

Our trip was amazing! We had such a great time, and we are so glad we went. We have already decided to start planning and saving for another trip.

We crossed this canal bridge each day on the walk from our hotel to the city center. The canals were really beautiful. We took an evening canal cruise one night that went all through Amsterdam. We learned that they keep their canals clean and fresh by removing 1/3 of the water and replacing it with fresh ocean water regularly.

Our first day in Amsterdam, we were still pretty tired from the long trip from Cape Verde to Lisbon to Amsterdam. We strolled around and got a good look at the city. We went to a movie, and it was awesome to sit in a movie theatre again and watch a movie in English. We saw a 3-D movie, hence Lamar's glasses. We also went and watched football games at a local sports cafe.

Monday we activated our tour cards and museum-ed it up. We started at the Rembrandt House. This was Rembrandt's actual house. It had his art and cultural collections and demonstrations of his print making techniques. Then we went to the Rijksmuseum (Dutch Masters). It was amazing. It had a lot of everything, and it was well worth it.

We visited this church: De Nieuwe Kerk. It was built in 1410. It was originally a Catholic church, and then it was "redone" as a Protestant church. It survived a massive fire, and was rebuilt. The architecture was amazing, especially from the inside.

Lamar especialy loved the architecture. He took a picture of these leaning buildings. They look like something out of Harry Potter the way they lean. It was really cool to see the way the old buildings are still used today and adapted to modern life.

We visited the botanical garden on Thursday morning. It was one of our favorite spots. It was so quiet and clean and fresh. They had a butterfly house and tons of areas distinctive of specific regions in the world. These lantern plants were my favorite. I want to find some to have for Halloween!

The bamboo garden was super cool.

One of our favorite activities was the zoo. The Amsterdam Zoo is the third oldest zoo in the world. We took tons and tons of pictures of the animals, but we thought we would just post this one picture of the leaves on the tress changing colors. Living somewhere that is summer all year round really makes you miss the seasons. This was such a renewing day for us.

Thursday evening we went to the Heineken Brewery. We were tired, but we were super glad we went. We got to see how the beer is made from start to finish. We also got a couple free beers with the tour.

Overall, it was just an excellent trip all around. We bought a tour card that turned out to be well worth it. We saw a ton of museums (historical, art, religious, etc.). Lamar really enjoyed the Van Gogh Museum and the Allard Pierson Museum (archaeological museum). We visited the Dutch Resistance Museum and the Bible Museum that were inspiring, to say the least. Besides the culture and history of Amsterdam, we also enjoyed hot showers, Subway, cool weather, speaking English, and not standing out like a sore thumb. We boarded the plane more than a little sad to come back. But I suppose the temporary nature is what makes vacations special.

This is the view we have from our veranda:

We wake up and have breakfast our there, and we sit and watch the sun go down. It is amazing how having a place that is peaceful and welcoming changes our entire outlook.

Sorry we have been so absent lately. We have been pretty busy. Here is what has been going on:

**We moved....FINALLY! It is so nice to finally be moved and settled in. We moved everything ourselves. We made the fifteen minute walk from our old apartment to our new apartment more times than my feet would like to count. We walked everything from one place to another except: the fridge, the stove, two bed frames (we walked the mattresses), and the bidong full of clothes. We are tired but happy to be out of there. Lamar was a total hero about the moving.

**We have an amazing new view. We will have to post pictures soon. Really, it is just unbelievable.

**I am recovering from a nasty ear infection, which is weird. I never got ear infections (even after years of swimteam) until I came here. Hmmm...must be the dust.

**We have no internet or phone. CV Telecom is moving at its painfully slow rate--in fact, the workers are on strike today and tomorrow. We probably will not have either until we are back from vacation. Blah.

**I am sitting at the school where I will be teaching my African Literature class, and I am SUPER excited. It is my secondary project, and I could not be more thrilled. Finally, I will be able to teach in my discipline.

**While I cannot say much, Lamar and I are celebrating recent revelations in God´s justice here. We haev been praying for it, and it seems as though He heard us.

**Getting ready for Amsterdam. We need a break.

Love and miss everyone.

One of the main reasons I love Paul Simon is because he tells the truth. One of my favorite songs by him is “Train the Distance.”

Everyone loves the sound of a train in the distance; everybody thinks it’s true.

Guilty. I have always loved that sound, but I have also been working on reminding myself of the falseness, the hollowness in that sound. Some days I do better than others.

I am on vacation. School is over, and I am only “working” half-days at the campus. Although I have not figured out exactly what it is I am supposed to be doing there for a half-day, I show up dutifully anyway. With all of this new and luxurious free time on my hands, one would expect more to show for it. I expect more to show for it. But the only thing I have really been doing is reading, and reading like mad. I haven’t read like this, really, since I was a kid. The second I entered undergraduate school as an English major in 1998 until I graduated in 2009, I have been told what to read. Even during holidays and summer breaks, I had massive lists that I was desperately trying to cover. When I defended my dissertation and that part of my life was “over,” I felt sort of lost for a while. Then I came here, and I was too busy to even think about reading for enjoyment. The work and culture and difficulties of here overshadowed any possibility to read seriously. I managed to get a book in here or there, but not like now. Here lately I have realized why I spent eleven years of my life studying books. During this break, I have read some trash, some new fiction that was supposed to be good but wasn’t, and some new fiction that was actually quite good. I have also read some classics. I re-read For Whom the Bell Tolls, and it was better than I remembered. You read it, and it stays with you, rattling around in your heart and mind. I think it really moved me this time because in some ways it reminded me of where I am and what I am doing now.

“What right have you, a foreigner, to come to me and tell me what I must do?”—Peace Corps stresses that its mission is to share culture and help countries develop their own potential via their natural strengths and talents. Yet every single day I have this thought about myself that Pablo has about the American Robert Jordan in For Whom the Bell Tolls. I feel this about myself here in Cape Verde, and I feel this attitude from people here. And of course, I don’t blame them at all; I understand it. Again, Peace Corps would argue this is not what volunteers do at all. But isn’t it? And even if Peace Corps doesn’t think we and they are doing this, the only thing that really matters is what the people of Cape Verde think….

“No. There was nothing to be gained by leaving them alone. Except that all people should be left alone and you should interfere with no one. So he believed that, did he? Yes, he believed that.” –do I believe this? Maybe. I don’t think Robert Jordan (Hemingway) means to leave a fellow human without aid, but I do think the message is to allow people to come into their own, to reject what they will and accept what they will. We want to “help,” but I am not always sure we truly understand what that means; in fact, I suspect we really have no idea…..

I will finish my service term here with the Peace Corps, but the way I will finish it is still unknown, even to me. But I do know this, “But living was a field of grain blowing in the wind on the side of a hill. Living was a hawk in the sky. Living was an earthen jar of water in the dust of the threshing with the grain flailed out and the chaff blowing.” After all, “the world is a fine place and worth the fighting for, and I hate very much to leave it.”

The volunteers on Sao Vicente got together last night to celebrate two independence days: the fourth of July for America and the fifth of July for Cape Verde. Lamar decided he wanted to grill out, so that is exactly what we did. We found a grill, and Lamar and Andrew got to work. They organized what everyone should bring, the day, and the time. They prepped the hamburgers and chicken, and they got the grill to the house and on the roof.

Lamar got the grill going great!

All their hard prep-work was much appreciated. We had hamburgeres, chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, fruit salad, salad, cheese dip and tortillas. You name it, we had it.

Lamar checking in on his favorite part of the meal....the cheese dip. Andrew had a block of Velveeta he got from home and had been saving. He was nice enough to share it.

The finished product: Lamar's burger with everything on it....including cheese dip.

Andrew and Lindsay on the roof.

We all had a very nice time together, and we enjoyed the great food and each other's company. It was a nice way to celebrate independence day. Hope everyone's fourth of July is great!

I saw it today—the first job posting on MLA for a tenure-track position in English for the fall of 2011. It was so freaking exciting! The next four to five months are going to be exciting and anxious as I wait to see what positions open up across the United States. I know God has a clear picture of where He wants Lamar and I to be and what He wants us to be doing, but I just don’t see it yet. There is excitement in not knowing and waiting to see His perfect plan materialize. I just pray we can be patient and attentive enough to seek it out.

Other news:

We are moving! I hate to count my chicks before they hatch, but it looks like my awesome APCD (Peace Corps guy in charge of education volunteers) has solved our housing problem. We are moving at the end of August, beginning of September into another apartment. This is such an answer to prayer for so many reasons. We could not be happier or more grateful.

Lamar is busy hosting a World Cup for his kids at Nho Djunga. The winning team gets taken out for ice cream. He is working so hard to teach them about sportsmanship, team spirit and cooperation, and self-discipline. I swear the man has the patience of a saint--kids all day and then me!

My students turned in ten-page research papers. I tell you, some of them are so amazing I could hardly believe it. I don’t think I have ever been more proud of any of my students as I am of some of my students this semester. I am making copies of some of the papers to save for posterity because they are just that good and such a testament to the capacity of students when they are nurtured and given serious and professional expectations.

I had a wonderful experience with efficiency that I just have to share. I received a letter in our mailbox that said I had a fed-ex letter waiting for me and I needed to call some guy from the post-office. Well, from previous experiences, I was dreading this issue. I imagined weeks of calling and going to offices and begging for someone to please just give me the letter. Nope! I called the man at 8:05 this morning, and he was there! He proceeded to tell me he would be at my house to deliver the letter. I hung up the phone with no small amount of doubt. Not fifteen minutes later, the guy arrived at my door, had me sign, and the letter was mine. Seriously! This is the most professional and efficient experience in Cape Verde that I have had to date. Thanks awesome post-office man!

I am currently reading Invitation to a Beheading by Vladimir Nabokov. I read Lolita in graduate school and was awed by the work and the writer. I came across this passage yesterday in my reading, and it was so real and true that I could not help sharing it. It is such a precise description of my experience here of late....

"I do not intend to complain, " said Cincinnatus, "but wish to ask you, is there in the so-called order of so-called things of which your so-called world consists even one thing that might be an assurance that you will keep a promise?"

"A promise?" asked the director in surprise, ceasing to fan himself with the cardboard part of the calendar (depicting the fortress at sunset, a water color). "What promise?"

"That my wife will come tomorrow. So you will not agree to guarantee it in this case--but I am phrasing my question more broadly: if there in this world, can there be, any kind of security at all, any pledge of anything, or is the very idea of guarantee unknown here?"

A pause.

"Isn't it too bad though about Roman Vissarionovich," said the director, "have you heard? He is in bed with a cold, and apparently quite a serious one..."

"I have a feeling that you will not answer me at any cost; that is logical, for even irresponsibility in the end develops its own logic."

Creepy how accurate it is, and to think.....we never even met and swapped stories.

Saturday Lamar and I went to watch the boys at Nho Djunga (the youth center where Lamar works) play soccer. It was a sort of tournament for local youth centers. All the boys from the centers formed teams and played fifteen-minute soccer games against each other. We arrived at Nho Djunga, and when the boys saw Lamar, they were super excited. It was so sweet to see how happy they were to see him there. It made me so proud to be his wife. They absolutely love him there, and it is no secret to me why they do. All the kids were rounded up, and we walked to the nearest “soccer field.” It is really just a concrete area that is smaller than a regulation soccer field. They all got together for a group photo.

Then out of nowhere, they all changed jerseys. I did not ask questions. I have learned that there is quite often simply no rhyme or reason here, and you will only frustrate yourself if you try to rationalize things. So, they changed jerseys and started warming up. It was incredibly cute. I am sure they would be so disappointed if they knew I was calling it cute. As far as they were concerned, they were practicing like the pros.

They all decided to have a pre-game huddle to talk strategy.

Here is a picture after their first goal. You seriously would have thought they had just won the World Cup. But as Lamar pointed out to me, this is the World Cup to them. They were so proud, and so were we. I finally understood my Mom's crazy cheering at any sporting event of mine. You just can't help but be crazy proud of them! Notice too that they play without shoes....on concrete. Amazing!

Well, we did not win the game, and the boys were heartbroken. The other youth center had enough money that the boys actually had someone there to work with them as their coach. But Lamar used the opportunity to talk to them about good sportsmanship, about how winning AND losing are part of sports and that even the best players lose once in a while. He was there when they were hurt and crying to cheer them up and encourage them.

Now for this little guy:

His name is Ravitson, but everyone calls him “little one,” and for good reason. He is nine years old, and he looks about the same size as most five year olds, if not smaller. Lamar carries him around like he is a gallon of milk. He is the sweetest little guy you ever met. The very first time I met him, he came up to me out of nowhere and gave me the biggest hug. It was so sincere. Well, we have been friends since then. On Saturday, we was hanging pretty close to us because he could not play. It broke my heart, but I understood why; he was just too small. I could tell it really hurt him, but it was for his own good. There is no telling how often he is left out of things because of his size. About halfway through the day, he comes up to me, puts his little bitty arms around my waist and gives me a hug. I pat him on the back, thinking he is done, and he just stands there. He stood there resting his head on me and hugging me for almost thirty minutes. It really struck me how deprived of human contact most of them are. There are simply not enough people and there is simply not enough time in the day for them all to receive individual attention from a caring and loving adult. All he wanted was someone to hold him and give him their time. Finally, something here I feel I can do and be good at......

Overall, it was a great time. I was reminded of what an awesome person Lamar is and how great kids can be.

Lamar just finished his birthday week, and I would like to think it was great! I L-O-V-E birthdays....everyone's. So, I started this tradition with Lamar where he gets a birthday week. I treat him to one small, thoughtful present a day for a week until his birthday. It is so nice to have a week where he is just appreciated and special. For birthday weeks here, we have to get creative. There is not much spare money, and choices for gifts are limited. Some of Lamar's birthday week gifts this year included:

a can of pistachios......

some yummy chocolate....

An English word-find book I bought off a student of mine....

Button cactus seeds.....

His big present was a straw hat I searched high and low to find. He bought me this great hat before we left for Peace Corps, and he has wanted one ever since then. Unfortunately, the hat is too small for his head. We are stretching it out right now, so hopefully it will work out well. He needs one for when he works outside gardening and such. It is good just to wear a hat in general here anyway; the sun is so strong.

I also baked him individual mini-cakes in tuna fish tins so that he can have birthday cake all week. We had homemade pizza for dinner last, too. Overall, I would say it was a pretty nice birthday week for him. It was nice for me as well....having an excuse to spoil him and give thanks for him!

It is common knowledge that students cheat here....a lot. However, I finally caught four of my students cheating on a test in my class. It crushed me. I took it so personally. I try so hard to encourage honesty and integrity in my classes. I am always on time, never miss class, and am always prepared. I do the best I can to make class enjoyable by using interesting topics and organizing activities to relieve some of the boredom that comes with a composition class. I never test them over material we do not cover (and re-cover) in class. To work so hard to provide my students with a class they can enjoy and learn from, just to have them repay me and themselves with dishonesty is crushing and deeply disheartening. The worst part is that I am now seen as some sort of "irrational and rigid foreigner" because I not only expect them not to cheat but because I punish them when they do it. I am starting to doubt my own sanity in this place.......

I read this really interesting article in the NY Times recently about the Montana governor. His state’s budget is balanced (only one of two in the nation), and he was discussing how he and the people of Montana achieved this. He shot down cynics who said it was only possible because his state had such a small population. He explained it was simply a matter of discipline. That’s right…..discipline. This made me think about my parents.

My parents are rocking-awesome savers and planners. I remember learning about saving from a very early age. Ten percent of my income goes to tithe, ten percent to savings, ten percent to retirement, and the rest is for me to live on. My parents set a great example of living a life of delayed gratification; if they wanted something, they actually saved for it instead of just putting it on credit! Imagine that! In an era so hypnotized by instant gratification, I think this is a lesson we Americans desperately need.

Consider this on a national scale. We want first-class, state of the art, nothing but the best education, health care, technology, streets, buildings, public transportation, farming practices, space programs, military programs…..I could go on forever. In fact, not only do we want these things, we demand them. We have become so used to getting exactly what we want exactly when we want it that we have forgotten about a little thing called consequence. We (as a nation and as individuals) are outrageously in debt, living beyond our means, and still demanding more, more, more. To put this in perspective: I read an article this morning about recent criticisms of Senator Kerry’s environmental plan. One of the criticisms is that it will inhibit the ability of major corporations to make as much money because of environmental regulations. Seriously?!?! Which do you want more: to make money or to survive on this planet? This is exactly the sort of insanity I am talking about. We want it all, and this is simply not possible (nor is it healthy).

Interestingly enough, I see the same thing here in my Peace Corps service. America has set a dangerous and poor example. People here want an “American-quality” life, and they want it now. I can discuss and lecture all day about the prices we have paid for such choices, about the detriments this life-style has created for us and others, about the impossibility of it lasting, but to no avail. Someone else is living like that, and they want it too.

So how do we combat this? Many say it is impossible to reverse, and some days I agree. I see so many greed-crazed Americans that I think it is impossible, too. Then I think of the governor of Montana, of my parents, and of other righteous families I know that are living a life of good stewardship, and I have hope. Lamar and I have made a commitment to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. What can you do?

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers (and soon to be mothers) I know, love, and miss. I know many women whom I consider Proverbs 31 women....women striving to be noble, working diligently for their families, serving the poor and needy, garnering the respect of their husbands, imparting wisdom to their children, and fearing and loving the Lord. From my mother to my grandmother to my friends whom I have watched blossom into wonderful mothers in their own right, I have been blessed by the company of great women. And while I am not a mother yet, I pray that someday I will be able to raise a child who will one day consider me a Proverbs 31 woman.

Proverbs 31

10 A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Cinco de Mayo is an important day for Lamar and I; we had our first (blind) date on Cinco de Mayo in Albuquerque. My jogging partner in college worked with Lamar, and she had been trying to set us up for about three months. I was just too busy with my dissertation to take time out to go on any blind dates. However, I had a dream one night that I went on this blind date and that it worked out great. I called my friend, asked her to call Lamar, and we met a few days later for our date. I remember a couple of things very vividly about the date. One of the first things Lamar asked me was what kind of music I liked, and he seemed pretty serious about it. This should have been my first clue about what a snob my husband is about music! He also told me he would be happy somewhere just "living off the land." Finally, I will never forget that we showed up wearing essentially the same thing: We both showed up in flannel-type shirts with undershirts. Needless to say, I couldn't resist, and everything worked out......and we were married a year and a half later.

Now is the time we would really be working our garden back home, and we both miss it. I think Lamar misses it a bit more than I. We have our plants and such here in our apartment, and Lamar is working with the S.O.S. on their garden, but it is just not the same. I miss LAND! Sometimes when we have time on the weekends, we shop for land on the internet....looking at where we might go and how big our garden could be. So here is to our old garden....

When I was growing up, my mom was allergic to cats (and she never really liked them), so we always had dogs. I was never a fan of cats myself. When I met Lamar, he was living in a tent in the Sandia Mountains, and he had a cat named Olive. Well, Lamar and Olive were a package deal. I must admit, I was not thrilled with the idea of having a cat. But I have to confess that now I love that cat more than any pet I have ever had (sorry mom!). She is the sweetest, funniest, most lovable thing ever. I miss her every single day. She is with a friend of Lamar's in New Mexico while we are away. Last night we heard a poor little kitten meowing all night. It made me think of Olive and how glad I am Lamar saved her from the rescue shelter.

One last thing: I really, really miss sweet tea. I grew up in Arkansas, and this means you can get sweet tea from virtually any restaurant you visit. When I moved to New Mexico, I was heartbroken to discover this is pretty much a southern thing only. So, I started making my own. THEN....Albuquerque got a McAlister's! I was so happy, and Lamar took me there after church on Sundays so I could have my sweet tea. I miss it, and I plan to drink my fill of it when I get back home.

These are pictures of our class after our students and we teachers worked to decorate, clean, and rearrange. We created a space conducive to learning with art, poetry, language, maps, plants. You name it, it was in our room. We all felt so good.

Here is what our room looks like after the administration's wishes were carried out today....

Every single wall is blank. No more plants, maps, charts, art, poetry. There is abosolutely nothing left in the room but chairs, desks, a board, and a trashcan and pissed off and disappointed students.

On a day like today, I need someone to please remind me why I am here. Really, why am I here?

Time is weird, and it is weirder in Peace Corps, and it is even weirder on an island. I cannot believe that we have already been contacted by people getting ready to come to Cape Verde to begin their Peace Corps service this summer. Have we really been here that long? It is exciting to think about their excitement.

On another, completely unrelated note: I found myself thinking about stairwells yesterday. When I first started teaching and studying for my degree at the University of New Mexico, I had to walk up this indoor stairwell each day, countless times a day. In some weird way, I used to measure time by my trips up and down that stairwell. I would come early in the morning when one was there, I would leave to swim or for lunch or class, and it was always crowded. It was creepy at night, cold during the winter, and concrete cool during the summer. I measured my five years of study by that stairwell. I would walk up it rushed on Mondays and Tuesdays, tired on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and relieved on Fridays.

I have a stairwell here at my work. It is outdoors, but I have noticed how much I think about time when I climb it. I mark my time by that stairwell, too. When I am in a good mood and class is going well and my students are growing and learning, I walk up the stairwell thinking two years is not enough time to do all I want to do. When the system here (and countless other things) get me down, that stairwell seems to remind me of how many more times I have to climb it until the end.

It is funny that when I walk both of them, the same focus on time occurs, and everything moves in slow motion. I have no doubts that when I am “finished” here (if that is really possible), I will remember this stairwell as well as I remember the one at the University of New Mexico. Hopefully, I will remember it as fondly.

Lamar and I had a very nice Easter, but it was definitely not what we are used to. We woke up and got ready for church, but to be honest, we were not exactly enthusiastic. I have pretty much always enjoyed church. I grew up in Sunday school with VBS (vacation Bible school), singing only Sunday night services, ice-cream socials and fellowships, and all around a super close community of believers. However, church here is different. We don't speak the language all that well, culture is different, and we are always going to be the foreigners. We really have grown to love our Pastor and his family; they are kind, giving, and fun people. Yet, we still feel very “outside” of our church and its goings on. I am reminded of when I lived in Dakar. My missionary family that was permanently assigned there rarely went to the church but conducted home worship and study instead, and I never really understood why until we moved here. The goal of local churches is to have people of every nation learn to love, serve, and worship Christ in a way that is honoring to them and their culture and in a way that they understand and take ownership in; the goal is not to make American churches everywhere you go. I feel the same way about our church here. It does not feel like home to us, but that is not its purpose. This has left us in a place without communal worship.

I never realized how important the body of Christ was until I settled in here and realized I would spend the next two years without one to which I felt connected. Lamar and I do Bible study with another volunteer, and we have our own personal prayer and study lives, but it is just not the same. I know church has its major drawbacks, and I am often the first to be annoyed by them: inane adherence to senseless tradition, hypocrisy, greed, etc. Yet Christ and His followers had it right when they realized the importance of meeting together, eating together, praying together…..living together for Christ.

As Lamar and I were reading over the Easter story, I was struck by poor Peter, Peter who loved Christ so dearly and yet denied Him three times before the rooster crowed. What I noticed is that Peter was alone, without the support of the other followers all three times. Without Christ and his other followers, Peter and his devotion to Christ were challenged, and each time, Peter failed. He still loved Christ, and he still had a heart for him; yet, Peter was alone and without the body of Christ to lift him up and support him.

Wherever you are today, if you have a body of Christ that you are sharing your life with, give thanks. It might not be perfect, but it is united by a perfect Savior. If you do not have a body of Christ to rely on and rejoice with, I pray you find one. We are not meant to be alone in our walk with Christ.

The puzzle is finished. In fact, it was finished two weeks ago. It looked AMAZING. Lamar took it apart very carefully and kept it sorted so we could put it together when we get back to the States. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for such a thoughtful and smart gift.

On other fronts, our home garden is flourishing. We have turned what was our dining room into a greenhouse of sorts. The room has two windows that get a lot of morning sun, so we keep the plants in there all morning, and then we move them to the veranda for afternoon sun. We have to bring them in at night or else they get these crazy bugs from the open windows of the veranda. Everything seems to be really thriving. We are growing the following plants: cucumbers, eggplants, tomatoes (Arkansas Travelers!), jalapeños, Serrano peppers, green onions, dill, cilantro, sprouts, parsley, basil, a kiwi tree (seriously—Lamar saved a seed from his kiwi, planted it, and now it is growing), thyme, a Greek giant (a type of eatable green plant), snap peas, and two mystery plants we bought off the street here in Cape Verde that are just pretty. It is wonderful to wake up each morning and see how much they have grown. Lamar even got his first harvest off his jalapeños, and he said they were wonderful.

On the pop culture front, we are still enjoying T.V. We rarely watched T.V. when we lived in the States. In fact, my T.V. was not plugged in until Lamar moved in and wanted to watch football. However, since we have come to Cape Verde for Peace Corps, we have watched massive amounts of T.V. that we never watched in the States. We have watched almost all of “The Office,” three seasons of “30 Rock,” two seasons of “Prison Break,” a season of “Scrubs,” various episodes of “Ted Talks” and “How Its Made,” and now we are watching “Firefly.” It is not that all we do is watch T.V., it is just that when what you can do is sometimes so limited, T.V. is a nice break from things.

Lamar is getting much better at his guitar. He practices almost every day. He learns new songs each week. Here recently he has learned "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac and "Rejoicing in the Hands" by Devendra Banhart. He is even practicing with another volunteer here who wants to learn to play.

I have had more time to read since my school class load has been reduced. I finished quite a few books over break that I had never read and always wanted to read: The Bluest Eye, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Death in Venice, The Famished Road, and Bluebeard. I am almost finished with Of Human Bondage; I am really enjoying it. I have looked forward to reading what I want for so long, and now that I have the time, it is not that easy. Books are hard to come by here, not to mention books in English. But I am reading whatever I can get my hands on, and that is proving to be somewhat of a nice surprise. Having fewer choices is opening up books that perhaps I would never have read. I am thankful for that.

Today is "Dia da Mulher de Cabo Verde" or Cape Verde Women's Day. I attended a special presentation this morning in honor of the day. One of the professors from my university gave a speech about the Cape Verdean woman past, present, and future. She is an excellent teacher, and to no one's surprise, she was an excellent speaker. She raised great points througout her speech, but there were a couple that really stuck with me.

1. A man is simply a "viola sem cordas" without a woman. Women are the strings to men's instruments. We are a team. We have to be a team if we are going to make music that is lovely. We have to work in tandem with each other. In a country and world where women are often afterthoughts, it is essential to remember just how critical we are. Our humanity is real, and it is crucial.

2. Women who are educated are moving this country forward and make excellent role models, but the women of the farms, fields, and fora (rural areas) are carrying the load of this country on their backs (often literally) and are raising a new generation of women. They strap babies on their backs, caryy water and harvests on their heads, and wield monda (farming) tools in their hands. Our job as women is to work for each other, not against each other. This is not an individual contest; this is a team sport. We all make it, or none of us make it. There is no victory when we step on other women to rise to the top or when women are left behind. Mothers and business women and grandmothers and farmers and wives and daughters: we are all in this together, and we each have a critical role.

3. We have to realize our worth if we ever expect anyone else to see and acknowledge it. We are more than objects, and we have to start living out our worth on our own terms. So many times (both here and in America) I see women perpetuating the idea that women are objects only. We have to be the ones that insist on faithfulness, refuse violence, resist objectification, and value intelligence and integrity. When we begin to realize our own worth, we can begin to show that worth to others.

So on behalf of Cape Verde Women's Day, I wish you all a wonderful day. Remind yourself of your worth today, and consider your sisters all around the globe. Committ to unity, and let's work for each other.

Here are some pictures of my outing last Sunday. I went fishing with a freind from Nho Djunga. The beach has no road access, so it is nice and secluded, and is about an hour hike away. The fishing pole we used was made of a spray can (like spray paint), some fishing line, some hooks, and a rock. Suprisingly enough he caught about 8 fish with it. I had no luck, but I mostly just helped him reel in the line. It's kinda a 2 man job. The area reminds me of South West Texas, especially the Terlingua area, but with a beach.

gets you lots and lots and lots and lots of..............SEEDS!

Thank you, Heirloom Seeds. The Garden Projects of Cape Verde are going to rock over these next two years.

If you know me, you know I have some issues. I have a temper that is quicker than lightening. I don't stay mad long at all, but I get that way in a hurry. My anger subsides about as quickly as it appears. I feel the need to right every single wrong in the world. I am the definition of a bleeding heart (liberal). I have yet to learn to truly control my mouth; what I think always comes out. But all of these things considered, I have been working hard lately to get a handle on things, to really work hard to make a difference and a contribution here. I have worked to humble myself, sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding.

However, nothing hurts me and gets me down me more than lying and injustice. And here lately, I have been confronted by an onslaught of both. Seriously. I have been in tears more times this past semester than I think I ever have been over a job in my life. And this week, well, it takes the cake. My personal character and integrity have been insulted and my willingness to serve has been exploited to the maximum degree.

So I am asking for those of you who read this blog to take a minute and pray. Pray that I would continue to work to be humble despite the circumstances. Pray that justice and truth would shine a light on my work environment. Pray for small victories that renew hope.

Here is an update on our hard work on our new, 3000 piece, old-world map puzzle Rachel's parents sent us. It is on the floor because the table is not big enough to hold it!

When Lamar and I decided to come to Peace Corps, we were super excited about the idea of being so close to Europe and maybe getting to travel. Lamar has never been to Europe, and he really wanted to go. But once we got here, we started doing what we do best: saving. We have plans and dreams for our future, and the best way for us to get there is to save. My parents are savers, and they raised a saver. What can I say? Well, we sort of just "decided" that we would not travel and would save our money. Then, we started really talking about what we wanted to do. Life goes by so quickly. Who knows when we will be this close, have the time, have the money, and be without kids. So.......yesterday, Lamar and I booked a trip to Amsterdam for six nights, seven days in September. Amsterdam is somewhere neither one of us has been and somewhere Air Portugal flies to for relatively inexpensive fares. There is so much to do and see there: Van Gogh museum, Dutch Masters museum, WWII Dutch Resistance Museum, Anne Frank House, Artis Zoo, canal tours, Heineken Brewery, Rembradnt's home, etc. Now we have something to look forward to mid-trip. It will be after our first year here, and we figure that is a good way to end the first year and start the second. Amsterdam, here we come!

Yesterday, the three English department professors at UNICV hosted a "classroom improvement day" of sorts. Working and studying at an institution that is not supportive and often times openly hostile definitely dampens the spirits of students and teachers alike. But yesterday, we got a reprieve from this. We cleaned the room, making it look (and smell) a thousand times better. The students cleaned windows, chairs, walls, desks, chalkboards, etc. Students created an IPA chart for their linguistics classes, framed two beautiful maps, and put up various examples of art. Then, we rearranged the room to create a space to share materials. Earlier in the week, I gave a brief workshop on starting plants from seeds. We planted five different herbs: basil, parsley, cilantro, chives, and dill. We have our seedlings that we are caring for, and now we have a beautiful, tall green plant in our room as well. If now feels like a space someone would want to occupy. Just seeing the students there working and enjoying themselves was so great. Lindsay, the other Peace Corps volunteer, and I actually got teary-eyed watching them take ownership and pride in their learning environment, working to make the very best out of their situation. It really was amazing, and I felt so privileged to be a part of it.

Of course, all things come with their costs. The three of us (faculty) received a serious (and very public) lecture, were made to write a report about our "discard for authority", and are, as of yet, still unsure about what the ultimate consequences will be. We did our best to inspire our students, to show them we care about them as people as well as students, to instill pride in them and the university, and we were repaid with chastisement. I suppose the comfort is that we suffer the brunt of this and not the students. They were so proud, and I was so proud of them. I wish you could have been there. It was by far one of the happiest moments of my Peace Corps service yet, and I suspect it will be a memory I never forget.

Here are some pictures of the room and the students after the transformation.

And that, my friends, makes it worth getting out of bed most mornings......

Well we finished our first puzzle from Rachel's parents. It was very cool to work on a puzzle with the West view of Albuquerque. The next puzzle makes this puzzle look like childs play though. Its a monster. We are having to work on it in pieces and move it to the floor it is so huge. It's going to be a challenge, but a lot of fun. Thanks again! We will post pictures of the action in progress.

My parents, Doug and Terri, are super-great folks. While this doesn't need any proof, we now have it in spades. We just got our second Christmas package from my parents. They were, as usual, overly generous. Seriously. The level of thoughtfulness that went into both packages was amazing. They spoiled us with puzzles, St. Ives Aprical Scrub, dryer sheets that smell like home, games, music, a brand new i-pod, movies, and so much more.

We are reall grateful for the way that they take care of us...when they really don't have to. We are both adults, and yet my parents love us and care for us like we were their "children." Thank you so much, Mom and Dad.

PS: Today is my Dad's birthday. Happy Birthday, Dad! Goodluck with that chocolate bar! I love and miss you.

I was walking home from school yesterday, and I came across a tiny, malnourished, and scared little puppy. She was curled up on the steps, shaking. Everyone was just passing her by; she was so little and her suffering went unnoticed. I bought her some little ham sandwiches at the shop in the plaza, and I sat down beside her. She was covered in fleas, and her hair was falling out in places. Her ears were eaten up, and she had sores on her legs and paws. I divided the sandwiches into small pieces, and I put them right in front of her. She looked up at me and then at the sandwiches. I know they smelled good to her. She studied them, and then she studied me. She didn’t eat them. I thought she might be really afraid, so I moved so she couldn’t see me, thinking she would eat then—pride and fear are very strong in all creatures, not just us. Nothing. I came back and sat with her for about twenty minutes. She never ate the sandwiches. I passed by the same place again later that night, and she was still there, curled up, with those sandwiches right in front of her—untouched.

Seeing her reminded me of myself and so many others I know who struggle with the same thing. She was helpless and scared, and someone was reaching out to her to help her, and she just couldn’t take the help. That is so like us as God’s children. His help is too good to be true. We can’t believe such help, love and sacrifice could be free and sincere. We are too afraid of even the possibility that it might be true. Just like the little puppy, we are often desperate and hungry for help, but we can’t bring ourselves to accept His loving-kindness. We feel too unworthy, too beat down by life and others and our own failings. But He promises us repeatedly in scripture of his commitment to be our ever-present source of help in time of need. “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living of water.’” (John 7:38) We have the chance at rivers of living water, and instead, we drink from the gutters of this world. I pray that we all would accept His offer of living water and live a life more abundant.

And on a note of life more abundant, I give thanks every single day for the life of my husband. Another reason he is so great—last night he made chicken enchiladas. They were awesome. I helped a little, but only under his head-chef direction. Again, they were amazing!

So we got a package from my grandparents yesterday. Among other really thoughtful things, they also sent us shells-n-cheese. Last night we feasted on shells-n-cheese and homemade guacamole (with super-fresh avocadoes). It was crazy good, and we were thankful. It's nice to be thankful for shells-n-cheese, homemade guacamole, and your grandparents.

I think if you asked most people why they joined Peace Corps, the answer would fall somewhere close to this line: “I want to help people.” Everyone has different ideas about what constitutes “help,” but ultimately, I believe people join Peace Corps out of a heart of service. This is why I joined Peace Corps; however, God is using Peace Corps to bring me to a level of brokenness and desperation from which I have nowhere to look but to Him. God is using Peace Corps to serve and to help me, whether I like it or not.

I am supposed to be in class right now. I spent all day teaching, grading papers, and preparing. I am in the process right now of typing out the novels I want to teach next semester so that the cost of printing for my students will be cut in half. I have one last class on Fridays from 4:00-6:00 p.m. with my third-year students, a group that many of the faculty members, quite frankly, have given up on. I prepared a great speech to finish the week off by Martin Luther King, Jr. on the Vietnam War. I paid for copies of the text out of my own money, used my own internet to download the speech, and bought the CD. I get to class, and there is just something amiss; it is just not a good day. When I arrive, I cannot get them to look up from their computers, conversations, and phones long enough to announce the start of class. They completely ignore me, and they continue talking. I pass out the copies of the speech and work to set up the sound system, all the while the noise is growing and growing; it is literally so loud I cannot hear myself think or the speech to see if it is actually working. I ask them numerous times to just please be quiet: no go. Finally, I raise my voice over them and tell them if they have one ounce of respect they will shut their mouths long enough for me to think--I shocked even myself with my force and tone. The response: still talking. Too much. I cracked. I dismissed class. I packed up my things, and I left. I left the room to students still talking, stunned, and even disappointed about not getting to hear the speech. I was on the verge of tears…..and they knew it.

As I was walking home, crying, I was thinking about why I was so angry. I kept thinking: I have worked so hard, dealt with so much, left my family and friends and home, and all I am asking is for them to be quiet for one minute so that I can do my job. My thoughts continued along this line for a while. Then, of course, my loving Lord put a halt to it all with a simple question: what about them? I cried even harder, right there in the street. We make sacrifices not hoping for something in return; we make sacrifices out of love. Christ gave His absolute all, even for those that would scorn and mock Him. I was serving out of love, but I was expecting something in return. Whether it was their respect in the classroom or their effort or their success, I was expecting something. This is no way to serve. This doesn’t mean I should let them get away with murder or not have expectations, but I should expect their respect in the classroom because I am their teacher and because it is the classroom, not because I am volunteering a long way from home under difficult circumstances. I have to stop holding them responsible for my decision to serve.

I let my students down today, and it does not feel good. Whether I like it (or want to admit it) or not, Peace Corps is for me, and there is much to be learned……

“And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17

I traveled to Santiago this week for Peace Corps training with all the other education volunteers from all the islands. It was so nice to see everyone, hear what they are doing, see the successes they are having. I was really amazed at how wonderful these people are doing with almost no training. They are teaching classes (many of them LOTS of classes) with no experience....and they are doing great. They are so devoted and surprisingly positive. It really made me refocus and redevote my energies to what really matters: my students. I felt really proud of my group. I felt hopeful.

In addition to seeing everyone, I was able to stay at a nice hotel with an amazing view, great rooms, wonderful food, an awesome pool, and really sweet staff. I felt so blessed to have such a nice rest and treat. I really needed it. It was perfect. Thanks, Peace Corps.

However--in all of that wonderfulness, there was still something missing: my husband. I miss him. I am sitting in Praia, still. Our flight was delayed, and who knows when it will leave. All I want is to get home to see Lamar. Funny...."home".....

I have been on swimteam since elementary school. I have always loved to swim. When I was little, I just liked being outside and having fun. Through high school, I enjoyed the competition, exercise, and friends. During graduate school, it became a way to keep my sanity. I swam with a group of graduate students, many trying to earn Ph.D.'s while not going insane. I would get in the water, and I would feel every single irritating student, every single stress about school, and every single worry about finishing melt away. There was this magnificent silence under that water. All I could hear was my own breathing and my own thoughts. I have swam at least three times a week almost my entire life. Then I came to Cape Verde.

There is a beach here. It is pretty, and people are always swimming there....everyone except me. I have a completely irrational fear of sharks. I recognize how crazy this is, but it is true. I mean, we are in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. So, I have been holding out. Well, I finally went swimming yesterday. I managed to buy a swim cap and goggles here, and Lamar and I and a friend of mine from school went. At first we sort of just played around in the water. Then I decided I would swim the length of the beach and back. It felt absolutely amazing. It wasn't just the exercise; it was the excitement of knowing I would be able to swim here. Granted, swimming in the ocean is much different. All you can taste is salt, you have to work harder to stay straight and not let the tide take you off course, and you have to dodge people. Of course, I also have to deal with my constant (and irrational) fear of sharks. But it was so worth it. I went to bed really tired--physically tired--and it felt good. I woke up this morning feeling like a new person.

I suppose it might seem weird to love something so simple so much. I guess everyone has their thing they feel like they could not live without. Mine just happens to be swimming.

Robert Castillo, you rock! We love you.

PS: If anyone is interested, we (the English faculty) are going to try and decorate our English classroom for our students. It could really use some cheering up, to say the least. One of the ideas we had was for maps of the world, maps of the US, etc. If anyone wants to sign up to send a big, beautiful map our way, we would really appreciate it.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Things have been difficult for me here lately. Things at work are less than pleasant, to say the least. Home is just as tense because of living arrangements. I found myself wanting to cry in my own home last night about work and other things, and not being able to because my boss is so close and always present. I feel incredibly frustrated.

I understand the situation from a logical perspective. No one can make us feel any way except when we allow them to; this power belongs to us. I have been striving to have compassion for those that mistreat me, trying to understand what they must be going through, what must have happened in their lives to make them this way. And yet, I still feel a disappointment with myself. And then I realized the problem: I am refusing God. He is not separating me from his abiding love; I am not resting in it.

He is calling me to be humble, humble beyond what is comfortable for me. For a while now, I have considered myself "in the right." I have refused to say what I really wanted to say, refused to engage in and recirprocate negative behavior. Success. I obey rules, even the ones I don't want to obey or the ones that are completely unjust and immoral. I am being obedient. I have been forgiving, offering a new chance each day for redemption. I have been doing all of these things, and I still felt miserable. I felt miserable because while I was being humble, I was not being humble to the level that Christ expected from me. Being humble only to the point of comfort is not being humble at all. I need to be humble to the point of being uncomfortable. I need to humble myself even when it seems unbearble.

I want things for my students, so many things. I thought I wanted it really badly, until last night. I realized I wanted to help them as long as I did not have to completely humble myself to such a hurtful person. Then I realized, I must not really want things for them badly enough. This hurt me and brought me to a level of repentance I have not felt in a long time.

I have not beein abiding my Christ's love; I had been using it in a reactionary way. I used it when I needed to control my tongue or obey an order or accept mistreatment, but I had not abided in it, and I was definitely not living proactively with it. I have not been waking up to it and going to sleep with it. I have not beein using it offensively, only defensively. And because of this, I have been failing to fully humble myself.

I pray that I might come to truly rest and abide and live in Christ's love in a way that makes it easy and light to humble myself to even the most difficult of people in order to show love to others.

We got paid! We went shopping for groceries today, paid bills, and went to the post office. We even managed to find a new place to buy fresh meats. They were super low on stock, but they said next week should be better. We will try then.

We made a nice dinner, and now we are just relaxing, waiting for a nice fireworks display tonight. We got the key to our roof, and we are planning on going up there with our fancy plastic chairs and having some nice red wine and watching the fireworks from the comfort and safety of our own home.

Here are five things we each would like to accomplish this year. We encourage all of you to think of how you will spend this year.

Lamar: 1. get better at guitar 2. read more 3. finish the Bible 4. exercise on a more frequent basis 5. improve my Creole/Portuguese

Rachel: 1. "finish" and find a publisher for the project I am working on 2. find a job to go back to 3. become "quasi" fluent with my Portuguese 4. do the most with what I can for my students while I am here

5. love my husband well

We hope everyone has a blessed new year. Enjoy it, and be safe.

It is Tuesday, December 22, 2009. Christmas is just three days away. Since the day after Thanksgiving, I have wanted to "get in the Christmas spirit." I wanted to decorate with a great tree, handmade paper chains, stockings, lights, and any tinsel I could manage to get my hands on. I tried to get a hold of Christmas music, too. None of this happened, for one reason or another. So I have gone out in Mindelo at night to see the Christmas lights, thinking that would help. Still nothing. Normally, I am the first one to get Christmas fever and the last one to grudginly give it up. Not this year.

My family is struggling. My parents did not put up a tree, and they are not planning on attending family Christmas events. My heart hurts for them. We talked with Lamar's mom, and we could tell she really misses him and wants him home for Christmas. My grandma had to put up her own Christmas tree this year, something she has not done in years because I was always there to put it up for her; the idea of this crushed me beyond measure. This was always one of my very favorite traditions. All of this makes having the Christmas spirit seem impossible.

I get e-mails from my friends, so faithful and loving. They tell us how much they miss us, how they are praying for us, and they try to cheer us up by sharing their Christmas plans and activities, including us even when we are not there. They are so precious, but even that was not enough. The Christmas spirit seemed impossible, until today.

I woke up thinking about my parents and grandparents and Lamar's family, about our life here, about hot chocolate, playing cards with my family and friends, my grandmother's tree, and suddenly I realized all of these things were merely a means to an end, a much, much larger end. I suppose I knew this all along. I have been able to do all of these things with a heart full of joy because of one and only one thing: the birth of Christ. My heart was so overwhelmed when I considered this. My grandmother had to put up her own Christmas tree this year, but she has a Savior who is perfect and loving. My mom and dad are sad and hurting without their only child, but they forget they are a son and a daugther of the King. My friends miss me, and I miss them, but we forget that we have a friend who is more loyal than any other and who was kind and wise enough to bring us together in the first place. Lamar and I miss home and family, but we forget that we have a Father who loves us beyond measure right here in our home and hearts.

Surely we can find it in our hearts to celebrate and be overcome by the birth of our Lord, Christ. His love overwhelms me. That He might forgive my selfishness and restore in me a sense of awe and wonder at His marvelous love.

"While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. But the angel said to them, Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased." Luke 2:6-14.