Life is like walking on sand… you step and yes you leave a mark…there might even be some people that admire the footprint you have left, they saw how you walked and wondered what the mark is like, they might even attempt to copy you… you could have taken all the time in the world to make the footprint or it could’ve been done carelessly… you yourself can admire the footprint and think “wow this is a really good mark I’ve left”… it’s yours and it’s unique...it could last a day or two but there will be a wave or a high tide to come and take it away... so what matters? What really matters? It’s not the mark you leave… or how long this mark will be noticed or by who… but it’s that walk you took… Did you take it alone? Did you step off the sand and take a swim? Was it a happy, fulfilling walk or was it guided by ideas and people who thought they knew what was best for you? Did you fight the good fight of love and of seeing what keeps you feeling alive?

Take a second and make your dreams come true… find the deepness and purity of love.

It’s been a while since I have put my thoughts in words. Let me tell you what’s been going on in Mocimboa da Praia for the last couple months. There are some projects that have begun coordinated by me and what Peace Corps likes to call “the Mozambican counterpart.” One of my closest counterparts has been Sister (as in nun) Ana Maria. She’s been in Mocimboa for about 4 years and has also been given the duty of creating sustainable projects. She’s attempted projects such as building an oven for a group of women to make bread and have a source of income. My favorite thing she’s worked on is establishing seven preschools within the town to teach the basics of Portuguese. One of the schools is close to my home and I’ve taken advantage of its proximity and began to teach the children how to do Yoga! At first they thought I was crazy and some of the parents questioned my being there but that stopped after they saw how much the children enjoyed it. After working with her for a while we decided to develop a sewing project. The goal of this project is to make purses to sell. Since I arrived I’ve noticed that Mocimboa is slowly developing. It truly is a beautiful town, it’s on the coast, it’s the last stop before to Tanzania and it’s full of unexplored land and ocean. All of this has drawn a diverse group of individuals (Portuguese, Brazilian, South African, and French) to Mocimboa and has opened a door to tourism. This tourism can help or harm the “locals” and we (the sis and I) want to show some Mozambicans how to use this to their advantage. So, the target group of these purses is those tourists who just want to remember everywhere they’ve been. Ana Maria had the availability of the sewing machines and I bought some cloth and materials, we’ve talked to some local business to allow us to sell the purses at their posts. At this point they are in the process of beginning to make the purses after weeks of learning how to get the sewing just right. Thinking also about Mocimboa’s development I’ve decided it’d be a good idea to start giving community English classes. The students receive some classes at school but they rarely have a venue to practice speaking it. There are twenty lessons to English course and at this point I’m at lesson sixteen. The class began with about twenty students at this point there are five left. This could be for millions of reasons but I chose not to dwell on it and am grateful for those who’ve stuck around. I’ve never been a teacher before and it’s been such an awesome experience seeing the students “get it.” What I’m doing is developing a system in which they can continue teaching others within the community. The place where the classes are held is called the “Centro Oasis,” it’s a nice building central to the community and with plenty of rooms for various activities. The mission is to set up a library (since books are the food of the brain), teach English and give the opportunity of extracurricular activities to the youth in this community. You see, in third world countries there is nothing to do, literally, nothing. No movie theater, bowling, roller rink, karate, dance, sports… NOTHING. So when you are complaining about being bored because you “have nothing to do,” stop complaining and join a club, go watch a movie, or just walk since you have electricity all day and night. Anyway, so the youth in this town have nothing to do which leads to boredom, violence, and prostitution. This Oasis will give them an activity, a vision, or a mission to life. One of the most exciting projects has been creating a natural medicine clinic with some of the people in the association I’m working with. We’ve begun making creams that aid in skin fungi and various skin problems and rheumatism, arthritis and cramps. It’s been magical learning how much the earth has to give us. It’s saddened me that humanity has overlooked this magic to build cities that are only destroying the earth more and more. Everything you need to be healthy is grown so easily in nature. This is a passion I’ve discovered and am sure I’ll be working with for a long long time. The most recent development has been to develop a mural on an empty wall in the streets of Mocimboa. December 1st (international HIV/AIDS day) is next week and we’ve been working to organize all sorts of fun activities from the November 25th – December 1st. Pictures and more stories coming soon.

Enamorada...

Me he enamorado de los amaneceres que despiertan mi ser, mi calma, mi pasión…

El día nace y yo con él y como el soplar del viento me acuerdo que el tiempo existe y no existe, afecta y no afecta…

El sol con su calor engendrador me habla de la conexión entre tu, el, y yo…

Los delfines se aproximan y entienden mi deseo de ser libre y nadar, volar…

Vivimos y morimos para despertar, para ultrapasar la ilusión y soñar…

Los atardeceres me susurran sus lamentos y por un tiempo desaparezco y vuelvo a nacer…

La luna llena me garantiza la eternidad que existe dentro del nacimiento y la muerte…

He aprendido a crear lo que necesito, a armonizar mi existencia, a estar consciente…

Despierta...

Ya desperté y no me puedo dormir

Ese sueño me enloqueció y acabo con mi sentido de vivir

Ya no quiero más, no puedo más

Soñar sin volar, sin crecer

Ya no aguanto más la confusión

La coma interrumpible nos ha dejado ciegos, mudos, sordos

No existe nada más sin ella y por ella

Sonría sin estar feliz

Lloraba sin saber el sabor de una lágrima

Crecía sin evolución

Esa pesadilla me hizo bien

Porque sin ella este día el sol no naciera

La vida se ahogaría

Y el alma no existiría

Pero al despertar comparo lo bueno y malo

Rico y pobre, el decir y el hablar

Y me enseno lo permanente en ti y en mí

There is a story about a frog that lived in a small pond. Because he had never gone anywhere else, the frog thought his pond was the whole world. Then one day a tortoise came to the pond and told the frog that he had come from the ocean. But the frog had never heard of an ocean and wondered if it were like his pond. "No," said the tortoise. "It is much bigger." "Three times bigger?" asked the frog. The tortoise kept trying to explain to the frog how big the ocean was, but the frog did not want to hear. Finally the frog fainted: it was so frightening even to try to think about such a place.

Moral of the story- keep an open, flexible mind so you don't faint from not being able to imagine the greatness that lies before you. A.K.A. Don't be this frog....believe in the ocean!!!

En frente de tu belleza interior y exterior despierto para la esencia, los valores, las cualidades, lo infinito del AMOR… la pureza de tu ser me deja sin palabras de definir cuanto te admiro y me deja cada día mas enamorado.

La importancia de lo que he aprendido durante este ano que paso me llena de emoción porque me doy cuenta que aún hay mucho mas por aprender. Aprendí a nadar, a dejarme llevar por las olas del océano y confiar en mí misma al saber que no hay nada que me pueda lastimar. Aprendí a aceptar la muerte, sea física, mental, o espiritual. Al ver el número de personas que mueren por el HIV te hace reflectar sobre la realidad y falsedad de la muerte. Te ensena lo que nos hace humanos, mortales y físicos, pero también te ensena como permanecemos eternos y sin físico ningún que nos atrape. La muerte al igual que las olas del mar me ha ensenado a dejarme llevar por lo fluido que es la vida. He aprendido la importancia de las conexiones con otros seres, las amistades y la familia. He visto que riqueza no es algo que se define materialmente, la riqueza es aquella que llena tu espíritu, que te hace sentir y tocar el amor a cada paso de tu existencia, es la riqueza que solo se gana con interacciones, conversas, abrazos, sonrisas, y contacto humano, aspectos que no son suficientemente apreciados en países “desenvueltos.” Aprendí a tocar la guitara y con esto me di cuenta que mis sueños se harán realidad en el momento que yo decida. Aprendí que la dependencia es la enfermedad más perjudicial que existe, que los países desenvueltos causan más daño con el dinero y “ayuda” que dan, que cada país, persona, ser que es dependiente no necesita de cosas materiales, necesita de un abrir de ojos para darse cuenta que son capaces de cosas maravillosas, necesitan amarse a sí mismos y así acabar con el bajo auto-estima y el negativismo de la dependencia. Aprendí que necesitamos ir más despacio, que la velocidad del mundo desenvuelto nos hace perder mucho de lo bello que es la vida. Estamos a correr y ni sabemos porque, corremos a una meta que no fue decidida por nosotros y que posiblemente ni existe. Aprendí que la naturaleza nos da todo lo que necesitamos para vivir y que al destruirla como hemos estado haciendo durante décadas es un suicidio de nuestra humanidad. La naturaleza es tan inteligente que es capaz de darnos las vitaminas, los minerales, las medicina, y la protección que necesitamos pero hemos optado por cosas fabricadas y artificiales que nos causan cáncer y otras enfermedades que hasta nos dejan sin explicación. Aprendí la importancia del equilibrio mental, espiritual, y corporal, sin este equilibrio somos maquinas que se pueden trastornar en segundos. Aprendí como dar y recibir, para dejar que este ciclo en que vivimos continúe interrumpidamente. Finalmente, aprendí que no hay culpables en esta vida, que la responsabilidad y decisión de ser quien soy está hecha solamente por mi…

Mucha paz y

To burst your encapsulating bubble, to venture into the unknown with the unknown, to live, to experience, to LOVE, to laugh, to joke, to cry, to create, to make your dreams come true, to forget the past, to meditate, to believe in your eternal nature, to expand your mind every day, to travel, to enjoy, to KNOW THYSELF, to play, to purify your mind, body, and soul, to rep what you sow, to watch sunrises and sunsets, to read, to understand, to slow down, to be positive, to enhance your senses, to be at PEACE, to find your joy, to LIVE your joy, to stop pretending and role-playing, to build your life exactly how you want it, to stop judging, to appreciate, to caress, to take your shows off and feel nature, to hug and kiss, to miss, to SUCK THE MARROW OUT OF LIFE, to be still, to experience your eternal nature, to write, to paint, to dance, to know how much you are worth, to experiment with uncertainty, to explore, to help, to give yourself to life and to those who need of you, to stop blaming others (parents, siblings, religion, etc…) for what your life has become, to BE HAPPY but not just happy, ECSTATIC, about the magic of life, to know your deserve the best, to be healthy, wealthy and spiritually abundant, to express what you feel, to live the moment completely and move on, to forgive, to reflect, to be active, to be whole, I dare you to dare yourself to see life as the adventure and lesson it is, to learn, to grow, and to LET GO!

I have been reading about love. Love is a very curious subject. Deepak Chopra writes about the necessity of the mother’s touch from her child. There are actually come chemical processes necessary to live that are only activated by a loved one’s touch. It’s also commonly known that “love cures all.” Chopra also writes that the immune system is strengthened when we feel love. This is quite interesting because although these chemical processes have been registered we still don’t know what is it about love that causes our body to react that way. How is it that our brain registers and processes love? Maybe it’s not a thing of the mind at all, but something much greater and stronger that our brain is not able to “logically” process. As I live and experience love, I see it as the unity of the part with the whole. There are various ways to experience love; relationships, family, self-less acts of kindness, and the communion with nature. But what in us tells us that we have “fallen” for somebody? I’m not talking about a superficial love but one that surpasses the ego and enters the soul. There is a peace and communion felt that releases the self from any external drama or influence. There is no lust, anger, judgment, confusion… there is only being and a sense of eternal bliss. This same feeling can be felt through meditation, helping those in need, and positive human interactions. What is important is to act with love to experience a higher and more universal level of it. You know you are acting with love when you feel ecstatic about what you are doing. When your partner is perfect because you see the love you are acting within him/her. When you can speak with the trees, oceans, and skies... Love is very simple to experience once you have freed yourself from the clutches of the ego; all you have to do is follow what resonates with your heart. Living in Mozambique has allowed me to experience life at such a profound level. Human interaction and touch is not very frequent and displays of affection are rare. Thinking of the poor as those who lack love and not material possessions has led me to think more about the healing power of love. What “poor” societies need is not an industrial revolution but a revolution of love. At this point I might sound like a complete hippie but maybe I am and maybe if we all understood the power of love there would be no such thing as rich, poor, labels, disease, pain, conflict, or the common depression that surrounds us. There would only exist peace and love…

Ahora entiendo de los niveles que esta compuesta nuestra personalidad como seres humanos... Y tambien entiendo a los que me dijeron que el proceso de encontrarte doleria y me haria llorar. El proceso es uno que sientes que te descarapelan en vida. Comienzas con una emocion intensa porque te quieres encontrar y sabes que esto es lo mas importante que pudieras haber pensado en esta vida. Luego te comienzas a juzgar y dudas de tu belleza y tu eternidad, pero vez ese rayito de luz que nunca se apaga y lo sigues como un nino a su madre... lloras, reflexionas, lloras, callas, te daz cuenta, y por fin vuelves a llorar. Sonries porque sabes que no hay nada mas que dejar que la vida te deje llevar. Te emocionas al saber que el destino no es lo que importa si no como andas... como exploras... como el destino no importa sabes que no hay prisa y que nadie te puede juzgar.

Paz.Amor.Yoga

I know understand the levels that make up the human beings' personality...I also understand those who warned me that the process of finding yourself would hurt and make me cry. The process is one in which you feel you are being skinned alive. You begin with an intense excitement because you want to find yourself and you know this is the most important thing you could've thought about. Then you begin to judge yourself and you are doubtful about your beauty and eternity. But you see that little ray of light that never diminishes and you follow it like a child follows his mother... you cry, reflect, cry, sit still, realize, and finally cry one last time. You smile because you know there is nothing more to do than let life take you. You are excited at knowing that it is not the destiny that matters but the journey... the exploration... since the destiny does not matter you know there is no hurry or judgement.

Peace.Love.Yoga

Existe una eternidad en cada momento. Cada olor, sabor, sentimiento te recuerda de la importância de vivir ahora...de la importancia de olvidar el pasado y dejar que el futuro te encuentre a tu manera. Algun dia veras este instante y pensaras porque importo. O porque importa qualquier instante de nuestra vida si no es para llegar a este momento? Te veras cambiada pero solo por comparacion. En este momento eres tu; confundida, feliz o triste... eres tu. El pasado y el futuro no tienen nada que ver en este eterno y finito momento. Pero sacrificas la magia del momento por una confusion interminable y te olvidas que naciste para vivir y saborear... no para esperar y temer la muerte, si no un nuevo comencar. Con cada respirar reencarnas pero te crees existir y luchas por sobrevivir. Lo que fuiste no es lo que eres y mucho menos lo que seras. Tu principio y tu fin lo defines al igual que defines un sentimiento, juzgamento, ciencia, despertar, sufrir, o amar. La perspectiva te mata o te da vida pero cuando saboreas y vives el momento to existe y de todo te olvidas... asi es la intensidad del momento.

Volveras como vuelve el sol y las estrellas...

Sonaras para olvidar la realidad...

Sentirar que la realidad es un sueno...

Jugaras con las ilusiones que te perturban

con un constante enfado...

Brincaras para no caer...

Lloraras para estar feliz...

Lucharas por tu paz...

Trabajaras para descansar...

Pero espero que

Te recordaras de tu eternidad

para olvidar tu mortalidad falsa

y asi amaras para finalmente VIVIR...

No nos damos cuenta lo tanto que nos hacemos sufrir hasta que alguien lo nota en ti...y así tiene la valentía de decirte que no hay porque sufrir, que tu eres una belleza y te mereces todo lo que deseas en esta vida. La idea que tenemos que sufrir es algo que nos ensenan desde niñez, y no solo nuestros padres, pero toda la sociedad; la escuela, el trabajo, religión, etc... Todos nos dicen que para recibir lo que queremos tenemos que trabajar duramente, y, tenemos que sufrir. La verdad es que no hay a quien culpar, ya que todos formamos parte del ciclo vicioso de la sociedad, cultura, y costumbres que nos hacen creer que para ser felices primero tenemos que sufrir. Tenemos la capacidad de ser eterna y completamente felices pero esta idea que tenemos que sufrir nos hace dejar la felicidad para después... Y nos quedamos asi dejando nuestra felicidad para después. Durante la vida, alguien, en algún tiempo nos hizo creer que no merecemos las bellezas y riquezas que nos esperan en esta vida, y así crecemos... con una mentalidad errada qué nos impide ser felices, que para mi, es lo e mas importa en esta vida. Nos decimos, voy a ser feliz pero primero estudio, voy a ser feliz pero primero encuentro con quien casarme, voy a ser feliz pero necesito un trabajo que paga bien, voy a ser feliz... y es algo que se queda en nuestro mañana y así no dejamos que haga parte de nuestro presente. Esto pasa y así lo que fue una realidad de felicidad se convierte en una idea y después en una simple ilusión. Entonces porque sufrir? Yo ya no tengo idea porque... no creo en el sufrimiento y lucho para mantener la realidad de la vida viva!

Hablemos del amor. Hablemos de la magia que contiene y el cambio que constante y eternamente esta haciendo. Todos sentimos, somos, y experimentamos el amor en nuestro día a día. El amor no es algo que nunca cambia... no es algo que solo se expresa de una manera. Nuestra esencia es amor, un árbol es amor, la risa de un bebe es amor, el beso de un amante es amor. Siento que estoy eternamente enamorada; de mi misma, la naturaleza las emociones, y la vida entera. El otro día una señora me pregunto porque medito; es una buena pregunta y algo que nunca me había preguntado. Al responder solo deje que las palabras salieran, sin pensar, después me escuche decir que medito porque es la manera por la cual yo siento el amor. Le dije que yo ya vi como la mente se mete en el camino de nuestra felicidad cuando pensamos en como podemos experienciar el amor. pensamos que el amor es algo externo, algo material, pero el amor nos es nada mas que esa esencia que nos hace llorar, reír, sentir... le dije que medito porque cuando medito hago que mi mente se calle y deje a mi amor expresarse y salir de esa cárcel ilusionaría. Quando comenzamos a explorar el amor nos damos cuenta o eterno que es. Los "famosos" siempre hablan del amor; cantores, filósofos, sienititas, religiosos, etc... todos hablan del amor, solo que unos lo llaman amor, otros energía, otros Dios, en fin cada quien lo define a su manera. El amor siempre fue y siempre será y aunque las palabras y modo de expresarlo son diferentes, la esencia es la misma... es el amor! Los "famosos" son famosos porque explican lo que ya sabemos y hemos sentido por toda la eternidad. No es que descubran algo nuevo, simplemente se trata de expresarse de acuerdo con el tiempo y espacio en que vivimos. Dedico esta bendición al amor que esta a espera de ser descubierto, el amor que nos une como el rió al mar...

Amor y Paz

I have begun to conduct a sort of research on sex. The question differs but it always points back to why does the human race suffer from an uncontrolled desire of sex? I’ve asked various people this question and there have been some that said I can’t find the answer… The fact is that this uncontrolled desire is very simple to analyze. Going to sleep one night I heard a child crying… more like bawling. After further listening to him cry I thought of how this child is going to grow up. Whenever he does something “wrong” he is hit. He will quickly realize that all he is is trouble and will begin to lose his self-love. The physical pains will develop into emotional pains and further into self-inflicted physical/emotional etc. pains. However, deep down inside the silence of his heart lies the desire for love. But how can he recognize it if he has never felt it? The unfaithful, the addicts, the peace-breakers, etc of the world are on this blind-folded chase for “love.” If they knew that love is what lies within each and every one of us and is not something we need to go chasing after… if they knew this then we’d see a world of peace. Sex becomes an uncontrolled desire because it is EVRYWHERE, also because the media that puts it everywhere has made sure to link sex to love, sex=love they say. So for this person who grows up not knowing love, society will take care to answer the question of “What is love and where can I find it?” Those who do not know love will seek it where it cannot be found; this search will be constant and confusing since those who lead it are also blind and confused. The organization I am working does a variety of activities; debates, plays, speeches, etc. which deals with HIV/AIDS awareness. In one of the debates I participated I wished to explore this question with the board of education. We analyzed the rapid increase of HIV in the world and one of the participants said that people “get-around” too much so I asked why is it so difficult for people to be faithful or to simply not have sex? They didn’t know what to say and simply ended up blaming the opposite sex. The confusion the world lives in is so palpable I could have reached out and grabbed it, but then they wouldn’t grow. The wings’ weakness would kill the butterfly, so it’s best left in the cocoon.

With this I would just like to point out the importance of love…self-love. We have all grown up with these physical and emotional hurts tat make us doubt ourSELF, but we just have to remember the purity and love that lies within.

There is something that has been bothering me lately. It’s this whole idea of aid to under-developed countries… first of all, the question is what does under-developed even mean? Do we mean we are helping a physically/economically under-developed country when there is a greater need to develop spiritually? It seems that spirituality is at the bottom of the developed nations´ priority lists. This idea of aid has gone completely insane. I don’t know who had the idea of giving people money and things. I can personally say that donations are not helping the people in Africa. I will not generalize but I will specify. What I have seen when it comes to NGOs, is that all the money that is being put into these organization is not reaching the intended communities and individuals. The millions of dollars are slowly thinned out until there is little to nothing left. The thinning out process occurs in the various NGO offices that this money must pass through. The organizations that do reach the community are causing trouble as well. They come and are with a specific community for some amount of time; they give them things, services and resources that they would otherwise be without. When they leave, these things, services, and resources also leave. All the community is left with is the idea that “white people” give things. I cannot even begin to count the times I have been asked for money by children, ladies, neighbours, and even colleagues. What good are the donations doing? Honestly? When there exists a dependency, not just of money but of any-thing, both parties are in a lose-lose situation, if it were a win-win situation than we would call this collaboration not a dependency. The dependency the “white” people have caused for the majority of Africa and other under-developed nations is making the under-developed nations think that they need these “things” to become a developed nation. This observation also shows the harm it has already caused the “developed” nation. A nation that thinks that things are what develop others; because what is a nation is not a group of others? There is a need to surpass dependency and move towards collaboration. With this a world in which poverty is non-existent will be discovered, because until now it is under-cover. Both parties will develop because both parties will give of their riches and realize the illusion of poverty that has engulfed us all for far too long.

“In his view the earth is all equally cultivated like a garden. Therefore we should receive the benefit of his light and heat with a corresponding trust and magnanimity” Thoreau

The past week I occupied myself with planting a garden in my backyard, since it´s almost summer in Moz the timing is perfect. I never thought I would become as interested in gardening as I am, but now I continue to see the importance of it. Gardening is the essence of all life but the current method will make of it an extinct art if it isn´t improved. The soil can be used and reused but it isn´t. the training we had about gardening through Peace Corps showed me how important it is to prepare the soil before any seed enters it. I usually wake up, do yoga and go swimming, however, the past week I postponed swimming so I could finish the soil preparation. The resources I used to plant are “double-digging,” and a book called “How to Grow More Vegetables.” There is also info on growbiointensive.org.

It makes sense to prepare the soil so thoroughly before planting, the seed needs rooms to grow and develop to its potential. It also makes sense to perform a thorough preparation of the self before attempting to bring any other being to this world. It´s this lack of preparation that has created so many bad seeds in our history. Parents do not have a prepared bodymind (spiritual, physical, psychological, and emotional self). I am not only referring to those historical bad seeds, but also to those bad seeds that are among us. The self-haters and disturbances of the peace. Bad seeds is not meant as a judgement but a metaphor to the importance of the preparation of the soil. All the “bad seeds” have as their core the lack of preparation by the previous generation that birthed it.

There is a quote I love that I make reference to a lot, “Leave the busy commotion of the mind, and abandon the desires of the ego, and enter into the silence of the heart” This lead me to think about HIV and how it´s related to the essence of a human being. The #1 form of transmission of HIV is through sex. In 1980, when it was first “discovered”, there were 100,000ppl with HIV as of 2004 the number has risen to 39,000,000!! At the rate it´s increasing it could destroy humanity. But why has it managed to be so deadly? I believe it´s because of an irrational obsession with sex; just look at the media that we are viewing daily…because of this busy commotion of the mind and desires of the ego. HIV has physically and metaphorically entered the self in disguise and has slowly taken over the cells to remove their immunity. I mean physically because this is what it does to the cells but metaphorically because sex is part of our survival as humanity. When there exists a dis-ease that enters the core of our existence, there is nothing left for us to do but evolve to a higher consciousness. As I see it HIV is the physical manifestation of this busy commotion and the only true cure I envision is the peace that arises from entering into the silence of the heart, this is how we must evolve

“In his view the earth is all equally cultivated like a garden. Therefore we should receive the benefit of his light and heat with a corresponding trust and magnanimity” Thoreau

The past week I occupied myself with planting a garden in my backyard, since it´s almost summer in Moz the timing is perfect. I never thought I would become as interested in gardening as I am, but now I continue to see the importance of it. Gardening is the essence of all life but the current method will make of it an extinct art if it isn´t improved. The soil can be used and reused but it isn´t. the training we had about gardening through Peace Corps showed me how important it is to prepare the soil before any seed enters it. I usually wake up, do yoga and go swimming, however, the past week I postponed swimming so I could finish the soil preparation. The resources I used to plant are “double-digging,” and a book called “How to Grow More Vegetables.” There is also info on growbiointensive.org.

It makes sense to prepare the soil so thoroughly before planting, the seed needs rooms to grow and develop to its potential. It also makes sense to perform a thorough preparation of the self before attempting to bring any other being to this world. It´s this lack of preparation that has created so many bad seeds in our history. Parents do not have a prepared bodymind (spiritual, physical, psychological, and emotional self). I am not only referring to those historical bad seeds, but also to those bad seeds that are among us. The self-haters and disturbances of the peace. Bad seeds is not meant as a judgement but a metaphor to the importance of the preparation of the soil. All the “bad seeds” have as their core the lack of preparation by the previous generation that birthed it.

There is a quote I love that I make reference to a lot, “Leave the busy commotion of the mind, and abandon the desires of the ego, and enter into the silence of the heart” This lead me to think about HIV and how it´s related to the essence of a human being. The #1 form of transmission of HIV is through sex. In 1980, when it was first “discovered”, there were 100,000ppl with HIV as of 2004 the number has risen to 39,000,000!! At the rate it´s increasing it could destroy humanity. But why has it managed to be so deadly? I believe it´s because of an irrational obsession with sex; just look at the media that we are viewing daily…because of this busy commotion of the mind and desires of the ego. HIV has physically and metaphorically entered the self in disguise and has slowly taken over the cells to remove their immunity. I mean physically because this is what it does to the cells but metaphorically because sex is part of our survival as humanity. When there exists a dis-ease that enters the core of our existence, there is nothing left for us to do but evolve to a higher consciousness. As I see it HIV is the physical manifestation of this busy commotion and the only true cure I envision is the peace that arises from entering into the silence of the heart, this is how we must evolve

Have I mentioned that I live alone? I have never lived alone like I do now, but I have really begun to appreciate myself in this solitude. There is also no electricity; and now I wonder why I ever needed it. When I tell people that I live alone they often ask why. You see… here if you are “white” a.k.a. mazungo you are expected to 1) have an empregada (maid) and 2) hire a guard. Well… I got a cat (Mdogo is his name means tiny in Swahili). Beyond asking why I am alone, “they” also ask what do I do with my alone time. Reflecting on this I wonder what they do when they are alone or not. The comments made to my being alone are that I am going to have too much time to think and that often those thoughts will be negative. Well little do they know I meditate and this allows me to not have ANY sort of thoughts come across my mind.

I have been reading Mr. Thoreau and he writes about solitude. To not write his entire reflection on it I´ll just mention some of it, this is from Walden; “To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will. Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows.”

So why this fear of being alone? Where did it come from? Are we alas, they, scared of looking within and realizing all they have oppressed or all which they are hiding? If they don’t know themselves then whom will they ever know? So, yes I am alone (well with a cat) in Africa and I am really getting to know who I am. But it’s not necessary to travel to Africa to reflect on yourself. This can be done in the solitude of your desk, or car, bed… Or maybe even in the solitude of a bar, or church, or home, when there are others around us but not entirely with us.

As I write this a storm has begun… there is nobody on the streets and Mdogo has run to hiding. As the rain falls and I sit alone at my door watching, I can’t help but realize how much of a companion nature truly is. The abundance and community we share with nature is too obvious to ignore. It is this rain that will feed the crops that will serve to serve us. The point is that we really are connected to nature and to everything/everyone around us, and in this we realize that it is simply not possible for humans to be alone. Men are constantly planning strategies for how to defeat nature what is not realized is that in defeating nature we defeat the self.

Among other observations in nature I have learned to love watching animals. My favourite so far are goats. Goats are actually really smart… they leave their “home” in the morning and go in search for food, they then later know the way back home and return at the end of the day. However, they employ a “no-goat left behind” strategy in which the mother will cry out for nay of the lost goats. Those that are lost will in turn call back to the mother goat. I think this is the reason we pray and meditate. So many are lost and “God” knows this, the calls are being sent out but not all are calling back. All God really wants is for us to come “Home.” After reading about enlightenment/nirvana/heaven, name it what you will… this is all we need to do, we need to awaken to the calls of our mother and let her know that we are on our way, so we can be guided Home.

Happy HOLYdays!

Peace Corps Challenges

1. Riding your bike on the sandy streets while wearing your fancy schmanzy Peace Corps helmet!

2. Communicating in Portuguese and then worrying about what your counterparts are saying in the local language :D

3. IT. IS. HOT!

4. In relation to numero 3… Must. Find. Water.

They´ll be more challenges to come but since I love focusing on the positives of every situation I would like to say that I am having an awesome time. I don’t have a house due to the delays of my NGO but I saw the construction that’s taking place and it’s really exciting just to imagine my little home. I’ve meditated every day since I got to Mozambique, gave up drinking and just recently started praying about everything. It’s really amazing what a few changes to your daily life can do to you. You start seeing life with such different eyes. Mozambicans aren´t just Mozambicans they are beautiful people that don´t really need any “thing” but they, just like the rest of us, need to realize the riches that already exist within them. I´ve also come to realize that I don´t really do anything for anybody but myself…now this sounds selfish, but so what if it is… by caring about what truly makes me happy I not only bring happiness to myself but to those around me. I have concluded that everything has it’s own vibration, since EVERYTHING is energy. This includes emotions/feelings … therefore when I am happy; my “self” vibrates at a certain frequency, which can be felt by others. Those who wish to vibrate at the same frequency will… and those who´s frequency is too different will reject my presence. See life is not as complicated as we make it seem. We are all just energy in vibration :D

I´ll publish more often than once a month... also coming soon.. my new P.O. Box!!

peace &

Oi!

So it’s November 23, 2009 and I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have really begun to see the benefits and joys of meditation and yoga. I have realized that this journey to and around Mozambique was also a journey to myself. It’s amazing to really find and feel the peace that we are all born with; this peace that has been so clouded by the busy commotion of society and the mind. My stay in Mozambique has been interesting on all sorts of levels but I would love to point out that it’s really shocking to see what influences American culture has had on the developing world. The most prevalent influence is seen in the media and by what people chose to wear and say. They are words and media that are so common in America but are just said with a different accent by a similar but different people. I would also like to ask what developing really means. If a developed country is one where someone can drive thru a McDonalds (in the words of Marco Benavides) and enjoy the laziness this comes with than I am not sure if I would want this beautiful land of Mozambique to become developed… If developed equals pollution and an unhealthy greed then I don’t ever want to see a McDonalds drive thru in Mozambique (although it might already exists in the larger cities). Something along the same lines as developing is the theory of evolution. What is the true benefit of technology, if any? Why are we so focused on the external evolution when we are not even aware of the internal evolution that must first take place? There is a level of consciousness that needs to be reached internationally so the wars and diseases can subside.

I believe in a world where we can all be in Peace, a world that doesn’t need the technology and infrastructure that we seem to care so much about. We must all work to leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and return to the silence of the heart… then we will have truly evolved.

Beijos!!!

Hello!!

This week was quite interesting. I tend to forget that I am in Africa since it’s freezing at night and it rains all day, However, the heat of today has served as a reminder. The most exciting thing that happened this week was learning about permaculture, apparently there is excellent soil to cultivate in Mozambique and all one really has to do is know what to do with the soil. So we were taught how to plant the basic foods of survival. I am really excited about this because I recently became vegetarian and was looking for a way to grow what I eat, and now I know!!! I have decided to really dedicate myself to meditation and yoga everyday as well; I’ve been reading books that speak to what meditation and yoga are all about. Therefore, I would love to share a quote I read in the book Eat. Pray. Love.,

“Just as there exists in writing a literal truth and a poetic truth, there also exists in a human being a literal anatomy and a poetic anatomy. One, you can see; one, you cannot. One is made of bones and teeth and flesh; the other is made of energy and memory and faith. But they are both equally true”

If anybody is planning on sending something this is the last week you can do it for now... We are in training which is one address, after training we will have a different address. Since it takes about one month for things to get here this is the last week to send stuff for about a month... Also on this note, it helps to write religious things on the packages just to ensure their arrival... when declaring the amount don't say the things in the package are worth more than $10.

That’s all…

Beijos!!!

So we’re at the end of week three and I don’t really think we all quite know how much we are changing as the days go by. We’re learning a lot (so much about HIV/AIDS but also about ourselves), we’re eating a lot (the FOOD rocks), some might be crying a lot (not me… hee hee), we’re walking a lot (the hills here are just sooo intense, which means nice looking booties J),we’re also living a lot. We’re beginning to see how life outside the comforts of the U.S. really is. I guess I shouldn’t say we but I… Hiding within all these “a lots” is a new sense of respect and admiration for Africa, a love really. The children that follow you around are amazing, the roosters at 4 A.M. are amazing, the stars are amazing, the rain is amazing, I have really just fallen in love with this experience. I try to think of where else I could be maybe graduate school or maybe at some case worker job that only a bachelor in psychology can give you? But I don’t think the Roselia in these shoes would really be comfortable with the Roselia in the other shoes… and I can only say this because I am here. So I have decided to never stop living for adventure and in adventure, life is seriously way too short to not fall in love with ourselves and be happy with this.

feel free to email me at banuelos.roselia@gmail.com!!

Also the address to send me goodies is

Av do Zimbabwe, 345

Maputo, Mozambique

CP 4398...

muitos beijos!!

Wooo.. what. a. day. So much info and so little time. Today was our orientation in Philadelphia. 65 of us going to Mozambique at 2am!!! I don't even want to think of the 40 hrs of traveling ahead of us. We keep thinking of our last everythings in the U.S. for two years... Last shower, some people have taken a few so far, last meal, last ice cream. I don't really think that I will miss anything in the U.S. other than my family but otherwise I like to think that I have no attachments here. I am just extremely excited for what's waiting for me... We leave in four hours and although I am a little bit anxious it doesn't seem to phase me. We've talked about how the toilets flush in the opposite direction, how Mozambique is known for some of the best scuba diving spots in the world!!! But then we've discussed the impact that this opportunity is going to have on ourselves and those whom we are about to help. The incredible self development we are about to embark on is beyond what we can un understand. We'll meet a side of ourselves that we haven't ever seen. That's what I think life should be about... Embarking on missions and adventures outside our comfort zone just so we can meet ourselves entirely. Above is a picture of me with my bald head. I want to see how long my hair gets in two years!! This is probably the last time I'll be on here for a while. I will be back as soon as I can.

September 2009

Dear Families & Friends,

Greetings from the Mozambique Desk in Washington, D.C. It is with great pleasure that we welcome your family member to the 2009 Mozambique training program. During the past year we have received many questions from Volunteers and family members regarding travel plans, sending money, relaying messages and mail, etc. As we are unable to involve ourselves in the personal arrangements of Volunteers, we would like to offer you advice and assistance in advance by providing specific examples of situations and how we suggest you handle them.

1. Irregular Communication. (Please see #3 for the mailing address to Peace Corps' office in Maputo, the capital of Mozambique) The mail service in Mozambique is not as efficient as the U.S. Postal Service; thus, it is important to be patient. It can take two to four weeks for mail coming from Maputo to arrive in the United States via the Mozambican postal system. From a Volunteer's site, mail might take 1-2 months to reach the United States. Sometimes mail is hand carried to the United States by a traveler and mailed through the U.S. postal system. This leg of the trip can take another several weeks as it is also dependent on the frequency of travelers to the U.S.

We suggest that in your first letters, you ask your Volunteer family member to give an estimate of how long it takes to receive your letters and then try to establish a predictable pattern of how often you will write to each other. Also, try numbering your letters so that the Volunteer knows he/she has missed one. Postcards should be sent in envelopes--otherwise they may be found on the wall of the local post office!

Volunteers often enjoy telling their “war” stories when they write home. Letters might describe recent illnesses, lack of good food, isolation, etc. While the subject matter is good reading material, it is often misinterpreted on the home front. There is a Peace Corps medical officer at the Peace Corps office in Maputo. In the event of a serious illness, the Volunteer is sent to Maputo and is cared for by our medical staff. If the Volunteer requires medical care that is not available in Mozambique he/she will be medically evacuated to Pretoria, South Africa, or the United States. Fortunately, these are rare circumstances.

If for some reason your normal communication pattern is broken and you do not hear from your family member for an abnormal amount of time, you may want to contact the Office of Special Services (OSS) at Peace Corps Washington at 1-800-424-8580, extension 1470. Also, in the case of an emergency at home (death in the family, sudden illness, etc.), please do not hesitate to call OSS immediately, so that we can inform the Peace Corps office in Maputo. Tell the operator your name, telephone number, and the nature of the emergency and the Duty Officer will return your call.

2. Telephone Calls. The telephone system in Mozambique is relatively good and service in and out of Maputo to the United States is mostly reliable. In the interior of the country, where most of the Volunteers are located, phones are fewer in number and of decreased reliability. Volunteers do not have residential phones; however, they have the opportunity to make and receive international calls through public phones or personal cell phones that can be purchased locally. They will be able to inform you of the actual telephone numbers once they arrive at their permanent sites in the country.

The Mozambique Desk maintains regular contact with the Peace Corps office in Maputo through phone calls and email. However, these communications are reserved for business only and cannot be used to relay personal messages. All communication between family members and the Volunteer should be done via international mail or personal phone calls.

3. Sending packages. Parents and Volunteers like to send and receive care packages through the mail. Unfortunately, sending packages can be a frustrating experience for all involved due to the high incidence of theft and heavy customs taxes. You may want to try to send inexpensive items through the mail, but there is no guarantee that these items will arrive. We do not recommend, however, that costly items be sent through the mail. Even though many Volunteers choose to get local post office boxes, you may always use the following address to send letters and/or packages to your family member:

John Doe, PCV Corpo da Paz/U. S. Peace Corps C.P. 4398 Maputo Mozambique

It is recommended that packages be sent in padded envelopes if possible, as boxes tend to be taxed more frequently. For lightweight but important items (e.g. airline tickets), DHL (an express mail service) does operate in Maputo.

If you choose to send items through DHL, you must address the package to: John Doe, PCV c/o U. S. Peace Corps Mozambique Avenida Zimbabwe 345 Maputo Mozambique

(The phone number for the Peace Corps office in Mozambique is 258-21-49-9082, as DHL will need this information).

For more information about DHL, please call their toll free number, 1-800-CALL-DHL, or visit their web site at www.dhl.com. Other courier services may operate in Maputo; DHL is only one possibility. Shop around to find the best prices and service options.

We hope this information is helpful to you during the time your family member is serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Mozambique. We understand how frustrating it is to communicate with your family member overseas and we appreciate your using this information as a guideline. Please feel free to contact us at the Mozambique Desk in Washington, D.C. if you have any further questions. Our phone number is 1-800-424-8580, ext. 2331 or 2332, or locally, 202-692-2331 or 202-692-2332.

I've never been good at expressing my thoughts on paper... so let's hope this helps. I'll be leaving to Mozambique in about 3 days, on September 29, 2009. I have no idea what to expect and I like it that way, I've never enjoyed entering something with preconceived notions. To say the least, I am extremely excited for what's to come. I don't see it like I'm leaving, I see choose to see it like I am arriving to an awesome adventure. The address for where I'll be for the first three months is;

Roselia Banuelos, PCV

Corpo da Paz/U. S. Peace Corps

C.P. 4398

Maputo, Mozambique

That's all for today.

p.s. I've posted a map for those that are wondering where Mozambique is. hee hee.