Last night I dreamed that I was hanging out with a buddy of mine who smokes. We were chatting it up and eventually, I felt the urge to light up again (in reality, I quit over two months ago). He gave off the vibe of "sweet, glad to have you back" as he passed me a stick and a light. I had the lit cigarette in my mouth and was about to inhale when the motivation for quitting popped into my head. If I smoked this cigarette, I would be shunning the two years I spent in Africa and the memory of all the friends I made there. I had vowed two months ago that in honor of the feelings and experiences I had had over there, I would quit. Needless to say, immediately I didn't want to smoke anymore. I guess I still felt a craving, but compared to my feelings for Moz that was nothing.

So, I put the cig out. And then my friend shot me a look of "what the heck, why did you ask for one then?"

Then, I woke up. And, I'm happy to say, there was absolutely no desire to smoke after waking up.

My first site mate was right, you really just need to find a remembrance strong enough to help you quit. For some people, it's the knowledge that oxygen is sweet and feels good in the body whereas the tar in tobacco gunks it up like a sewer. For others, it's the birth of their children. Well...I guess it's only been two and a half months so far, but I feel like it gets easier to stay off tobacco as time goes on.

I guess it helps that there are so many more distractions here in the states, too.

So...10 days off Mefloquine for the first time in over two years...and I just had a nightmare. A pretty vivid one too.

I was on a date with "the girl of my dreams" (one of our first dates, but we were long time friends so I was pretty enamored) and on the way to some activity, we happened to come across an accident (seemed like an airplane crash). We had to get out of the car and walk on foot, but for some reason there were military people there. A soldier started talking to me.

"Hey, we need a volunteer to go out there and act as a decoy," he said.

I asked, "A decoy for what? Can't we just pass through?"

"Ha! Sure, you can pass through, but it's really dangerous," he responded.

"Why's that?" I enquiried as I peeked around the corner of the military vehicle.

Upon finishing my question, I saw three armed terrorists in the middle of the street. I began to think, "Maybe I should volunteer to be the decoy...I'm not married and I'm probably the only person who would volunteer to do this." However, at that moment, one of the terrorists said, "Alright, so you don't want to comply with our demands? This is what you get." He then proceeded to aim his shotgun at the crowd I was in. I noticed that the gun was actually pointing in the direction of my partner, and I thought, "No way, there's no way it's actually pointing at her." And that's when the gun went off. Everyone dropped to the floor because of the gunfire, but I noticed that she in particular was bleeding.

I screamed, "No!" as I reached for her hand and tried to pull her towards me. The odd thing though, is that her hand was warm. In the back of my head I started wondering about rigor mortis when she spoke," Stop it, I'm just playing dead." I peeked up to see if the gun was still trailed in our direction, which it was, and then quickly ducked my head back down.

And then I woke up.

My hand was actually grabbing at hers, but obviously there was nothing in it. I glanced at the clock and noted that it was 3:30am. I had been asleep for four hours. I then realized that I had the urge to play Pearl Jam on my guitar.

I'm single, actually comfortable being single (for the first time ever), and I'm still having dreams like this. 10 days off of my anti-malaria drugs, no less.

Esta vida não têm sorte pa, xi.

Ok, now I'm off to pick up a new Pearl Jam song. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep again after.

I remember deciding to leave for Africa for several different reasons. One of them was that I felt like I was stuck in a rut and I needed a change of pace, scenery, and horizons.

And now that I've been back home for a month, I feel like I'm back in the old rut. However, it's worse this time because I don't have a job. Ugh...

One foot forward, two steps back.

After reading the previous post that I wrote, I realized that I've grown very unaccustomed to writing in a blog. I didn't even use proper sentences in that entry. I guess two years of writing sad notes to myself in a little spiral notebook didn't do much for my creative writing. Well, I suppose it is a good thing that I started this new blog then...it will give me ample time to practice my writing skills.

And now that I've begun, what do I really want to write about?

Re-integration back into American society. Right...

Well, in the past four weeks I've been busy catching up with extended family, sorting out miscellaneous details (such as getting a phone, registering at a local community college, figuring out where I left everything two years ago, etc.), researching new things on the internet, helping out my parents with stuff around the house and techy stuff, and applying to jobs. Well...that's the productive stuff I've been doing. The non-productive stuff included playing video games, reading manga/watching anime, watching the first season of Battlestar Galactica, and drinking with Mike and Grace (most of the time separately and occasionally with different companions mixed in). I have to admit, I haven't binged on entertainment like this in...over two years. I think I'm reaching my peak though, because I definitely can't handle more than one arc of One Piece at a time or bash through more than two areas when I'm mudding.

Interacting with people is completely different from the way it was two years ago. I'm sure it has something to do with my newfound ability to notice non-verbal expression. I suppose there was something good about throwing myself into a country where I couldn't speak the language...I mean, besides learning that language. I feel like it's more than that though...with some people, it's different because a lot of time has passed since we last were "friends". With other people it's merely a change in environment, with the flavor of my hometown as a backdrop. With yet others, it's due to a change in my own personal perspective of...everything.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I'm inclined to say it is good. It is good because I have grown as a person and blah blah blah. However, I can't deny that there are some things from the past that I will miss experiencing. Well.........the past is in the past. It is good for reminiscing and remembering that I have lived a good life, but an over-attachment would become self-destructive. It is now time for me to move forward.

Moving forward, with a few glances back, I ponder whether or not to follow a fixed path or begin trailblazing once again.

Alright, since I'm back in the states, I decided to start a new blog. The blog posts I made while serving as a PCV are over at: jascuepcv.blogspot.com

So...I've been back for two days now. Living in my parents' house while I look for a new job. I got a phone. And I went to Costco.

There are so many products in the store.

And it is so nice to have internet again. Like...constant internet. Seriously. Ok, so much to do and not really in the mood to blog much right now. Catch ya later.

I don't know. But it sure is painful.

Até nunca, Maganja da Costa. You taught me more than any other experience and have meant more to me than any love I've ever had.

Beijos,

Jorgie

I haven't written a post in a while...and that's because I've been seriously busy doing a lot of random different things. This might actually be my last post until my cos week. So much to do, so little time...

So...my English theater group got second place and two of my students received the trophies for best actor and best actress. Faruk, the best actor, was a drunken mess of a slacker and Maria, the best actress, was the female student trying to create a future for herself. It was fun.

I travelled to Ilha de Mozambique. Took two days to get there, stayed there for one day, and then it took two days to get back to site. It was fun though. It was a good last trip in-country.

Last night, my coordenator dropped by my house but Cam and I weren't home. She told the owner of our house to let us know she came by. I texted her, but she didn't respond until 5am this morning. I was out training capoeira with one of my students, so I didn't see her text until after I got back and showered, which was around 0630h. Turns out Cam and I are supposed to have a meeting with our Quelimane supervisor, who's planning to visit our site today, at 0730h.

Fat chance he'll actually be here at 0730h though.

So...I'm going to just continue with my original plan for the day and if he shows up I'll deal with him then. What a freaking booger of a supervisor. It really is impossible to work for someone whom you don't respect.

One of my orphans broke his friend's telephone. He came to me looking for help, and I told him I wouldn't just straight up give him the money but he could work for me and I'd pay him. So...he's coming in at 8am to do random ish for me. I'm also filming for a random kung fu film with my students at 9am. Heh heh, it'll be fun. They're so freaking funny.

Ok, I have to go prep breakfast now.

Tchauzinho...

So...my time back in the states is coming to a close...I came back just for Mike's wedding, but being the best man at my buddy's wedding is a once in a life time opportunity, so there's no way I would've missed it.

The bachelor party weekend was cool. We swung off a cliff in yosemite and went mountain biking at north star. Reno is pretty ghetto. South tahoe was whatevs. Somehow Mike decided to christen me "Teardrop".

The wedding was sweet. I actually enjoyed running around helping out Mike with random errands. I was totally plastered for the toast, but I think it turned out alright. It kinda sucked that the dancing was so short though, we had to stop at 9:30pm. Butttt, chilling with some new friends until 5ish in the morning was tight. I picked up a new nickname due to my weird antics and drinking abilities..."King of Africa".

Watched Insidious with Mike last night. Then, to get over the chills, we watched Black Snake Moan. From horror to whorish. It was a good mix...but when I drove home I still had the creeps. I really hope I'm not good at astral projection.

It's been nice being back in the states, eating and hanging out with old friends, but I'm ready to come back to Mozambique. As with always, so much to do but so little time.

Ack, going rock climbing at Point Dume now. Gotta go, catch ya later...

In the spirit of the events which unleashed themselves upon me yesterday, I would like to rant and rave and complain.

But, since I have already spent an hour pacing around my hotel room talking to myself, I will not do that.

Instead, I will utter gouts of randomness.

I need to buy rat traps. I don't know where to buy them though. Ugh.

I wanted to start working on my resume. I guess I can...but it's weird thinking about stuff I've done in the US while I'm still in Moz. Maybe I should focus more on debriefing myself on stuff that I've done while here.

Thinking about all the things I have to do in the next forty days makes me tired. Write reports, take care of random stuff for my youth group, set up connections with new organizations that are starting to do work in my community, reconnect with my own NGO and plan out the integration of my volunteer replacement...day-long flights, bachelor party, wedding stuff, optometrist appointment, and personal errands to do in the states...write a resume, start applying to jobs, taking care of last minute projects and sightseeing for the last time...

I'm hungry. I do have a delicious pizza next to me. I guess I should eat it. Ok, I shall eat it.

Onward ho!

So...I just got back from helping out for a week and a half at the Moz 16 pst.

It was fun.

And now I'm prepping for the COS conference.

Yay.

Josh tired.

Well...at least life isn't dragging on like it was last year. The second year of service is definitely better than the first.

Have I talked about the rat problem in my house?

A couple weeks ago, I woke up because I felt something warm and furry snuggling against my knee. I nudged it with my knee, and it jumped. Then, it returned to snuggling against my knee. I yelled and then quickly put on my glasses and used the light from my cell phone to illuminate my surroundings. Lo and behold, it was a rat. At the appearance of the luminescence, it scurried up my mosquito net and clung to the top portion of it. I escaped from the confines of my mosquito net and turned on the light. The rat swayed to and fro for a bit, but then decided to just stay hanging at the top part of my net. I picked up a stick (which I had been using for my shoe rack) and busted a Hank Aaron on the poor mammal. Upon impact the vagabond squeaked and wriggled and then fell. It didn't move after landing, but I decided to give it one more whack just for good measure.

Bad call.

Blood splattered everywhere. I had to remove my net, dump the rat remains in the trash pit outside, and then spend the rest of the night without a mosquito net. In the morning, I woke up with quite a few mosquito bites, but I still prefer that over sleeping with rat blood in my face.

I'm not sure if I ever blogged about the first rat I killed, but that one met its end by eating a tomato laced with rat poison. It actually landed on my pillow, after dropping from the ceiling, as it wriggled with its death throes...just to spite me.

My future sitemate/roomie wants me to solve the rat problem, but I'm not really too keen on evicting the critters. I'd probably have to get a cat, and cats usually equal ticks and fleas.

On a completely different note, I am completely convinced that having a rat tail was a good way to keep females away from me. Well, kind of.

Oh, wrath of the rat...beware of the cat...

I think my face isn't the same as it was two years ago.

Actually, I know my face isn't the same as it was two years ago. But what weirds me out more is that I, myself as a person, am not the same as I was two years ago. Well perhaps not that fact in particular, but more the extent of the difference.

Enough of that train of thought.

So, time is coming to a close and...I'm ready for the close...but I'm somewhat dreading what's to come after the close. Well, dreading in an optimistic kind of way. So many opportunities...for me to screw up...and pass up to take on other opportunities. The world is my large, multi-pearled oyster.

Chega com isso tambem.

She's so hot!

Deixa-la...

So...mindprint: I just finished reading Altered Carbon yesterday, I'm currently reading The Audacity of Hope and an african book in portuguese, I have to write a month and trimester report for my NGO, I have to help my highschool group write a theatre piece about gender inequality, I have to sort out the particulars of our next school newspaper...end of mindprint.

I miss video games. I miss food.

But I do like my super-flexible schedule and the clean air.

Am I going to stay in LA when I get back?

Ha duvida.

Ok, time to move on with my day.

So. Here I am.

When I arrived in this province, there were seven of us (PCVs) assigned to the same I-NGO. As of a few days ago, I am officially the last of these seven left in the country. Is it lonely being the last? Hell yeah.

But, I've been lucky and my situation has been different from the situations of my colleagues. I don't really want to get into the details or whatnot, but suffice it to say that I'm not planning on leaving before my due time. Which is about four months from now.

Geez, time has been flying by.

So much has changed in the past year: My house has electricity, I no longer have orphans sleeping in my kitchen, I actually have a counterpart, I'm not afraid of walking around in public (I don't get as many stares as I used to...or maybe I'm just getting used to the stares), and I'm actually eating again. Gone are the days of living on nik-naks and roasted peanuts...I'm enjoying a healthy goat stew with cabbage and potatoes for lunch.

Yes yes...life is good.

But...I have to admit, I am going to be happy to come home. At least, I think so.

On a sidenote, today is this country's independence day. Usually, that means a lot of heavy drinking. I have to play in a village basketball game later on in the day though, so I'm just going to play it sober.

Oh yeah, on Tuesday I ate mangrove snails, mandioca paste, and a goat head (including the brain). So if I come down with any weird disease some time soon, keep that in mind when they're diagnosing me.

Alright, tchau for now.

So...after three days of having high-speed internet, I've realized that my brain has finally reacclimated and devolved back into the state of constant and unperceivable randomness. Is this a good thing? Probably not. But, no worries, all will be well once again when I am fondling my sweet sweet guitar and she sings out all my pent up emotions.

Sidenote: I watched the Airbender movie today. Ugh, everyone was right...it is pretty bad.

Otherside note: My braid is getting to the point where I can't turn my head quickly without it swinging around and whacking the side of my neck. I'm starting to wonder if it will continue to be a nuisance, no matter how long it becomes.

Underside note: This other hole business is really painful. I really want it to heal.

Topside note: Why are the females in this country so freaking curvy?

Center note: One of these days I'm going to finally run out of things to worry about or at least I'll find that I just don't give a crap about what happens.

Not really a note: I have serious saudades for two things at this moment...working out and my guitar. Let me come back to site please!!!!!!

Ugh...first you get to site and you hate it...then you start to accept your fate and you cope with it...and then you get to the point where you don't know how to live without site.

It's just like a relationship! Except, maybe in the reverse order. HA! Relationships...

Oh...I'm going to stop right there. But seriously, I'm going crazy after being away from site for two weeks. How are my kids doing? How are the machambas going? Is it raining? Are the crops growing? How's the capoeira group training? Did weekend basketball already start? How's my counterpart doing? Did my coordenator finally get the seeds we requested? What's new with the activista groups? Is that annoying girl still trying to get into my quintal?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*crying* I just want to go back to site...

...if anything, it just makes things worse. And when you have as many things to worry about as I do here, the worries can get pretty burdensome. So what do I do?

Well, I suppose I do lots of things...but I won't elaborate any further.

Long story short, I have a large pain in the ass and things are getting more and more complicated but I'm just going to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on completing my goals. If I am able to continue with working on them.

Sorry for being vague, I guess I'm just trying to not think about whatever it is that is annoying me. Heh.

That is all.

A fate marked by unfettered attempts at understanding shall result in the enlightenment of the truly unknown.

But seriously, se eu fosse o arvore de conhecimento, hei-de saber que ninguem tomou nenhuma das minhas frutas. There's just no possible way, with how stupid and reckless and ignorant humankind really is.

So, that is basically what I told the Zimbabweana that was prank calling me last Sunday when I was out with my colleagues. She called me about six times in rapid succession and didn't say anything. Of course, it was a number I didn't know, but I don't know anyone else from Zimbabwe so it had to have been her.

In better news, I ate a lot of wild mushrooms in the past couple weeks. It's mushroom season and I do delight in adding their glory to my diet. I just read in a magazine that mushrooms provide protein. Really? Hmm...the name of the species of mushroom that I've been eating, in the local dialect, is "Dega Dega". I'm not sure what it means translated into English, but I like to think it means "Yum Yum".

I just found out last night that there is an animal reserve in the northern part of my province. That's exciting...I wonder if I'll ever have time to actually go there...

Oh yeah, I titled this entry "A peaceful resolve" but I didn't really get to the peaceful resolve part.

Actually, there is no real peaceful resolve...just an unhealthy lack of care about stuff in general. So...I'm starting to get the feeling that no matter what I do, nothing at my site will really change much. I've definitely learned and grown a lot...but I'm not sure that there is very much growth to be had in the coming 9 months or so...I could be wrong, as I know guesses usually are, but so far in the year I feel like things have pretty much been going the same as they did last year...I'm just used to everything now. Well, most things...you know...stuff like women carrying heavy, awkwardly bulky objects on their heads, speaking to everyone in portuguese, having every mozambican who sees me assume that I'm chinese, having to boil my water and then filter it before I can drink it, etc.

I guess I've just hit an emotional limbo of sorts...I thought I was chill before...but if I was chill before, I wonder what I am now?

I know I had other stuff to talk about, but now that I've finally found access to internet, I've totally forgotten what I wanted to write about. I've just been bsing random stuff this entire time.

Oh well...better than nothing, I guess...ha, done.

So. My last Valentine´s Day in the beautiful country of Moçambique. Beautiful females all around, and yet I´m just hanging around...as lonely as a cashew in a bag of peanuts.

No worries though, at least this country isn´t packed with constant reminders of this particular holiday. Love happens every day, why would they need one particular day for...

Um..I have to go find a ride back to site. Ha, no time to write.

Tchau...

So...I know I donºt write in this thing very often. Iºm sure all my friends and family back at home wonder what life is like for me. So, let me tell you whatºs going on through my mind.

I am currently at the office of my partner international non government organization in the provincial capital. I came here to complete a bunch of errands, which add up over time since I only come here once a month. On my list of ten things to do, Iºve only done six, but that is a major accomplishment considering that I only had 5 hours to do them and usually it takes two or three hours to get anything done. It doesnºt really matter exactly what Iºm trying to do, itºs just the line or the slowness of each process which sucks up time like an angry singularity.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, Iºm lonely. The last group, moz 13ers, just left a couple months ago...and considering how close I got to them, Iºve been in a major slump. Going to the club or drinking beers just doesnºt have the same feeling. Even though I only saw them once a month or so, it was still better than never.

So, when I went to the seed store to buy seeds, for the permaculture lesson Iºm giving in a couple weeks, and the girl started flirting with me...I went along with it and got her number.

Now, Iºm not going to get into any particulars, but lets just say thatºs something I never do. Iºm one of those shy dudes that doesnºt talk to girls. I get all red in the face and whatnot when a cute girl merely bats her eyelashes at me. So, there is only one explanation for my deviation in character...loneliness. Iºm trying to reach out for someone new to talk to and fill in this empty void in my soul.

I realize that this entry probably sounds hella stupid. It is pretty stupid. And, it probably doesnºt give the proper insight into my actual love life (which has actually been more than a little complex and overbearing than Iºm sure anyone can fathom...unless youºre really into those fake ass soap operas). But, I suppose I just needed to take this chance to vent. Iºve been mourning the loss of my colleagues for the past month and a half, and I really just need to let go and get on with my service. Of course, I am still waiting for all the students and teachers to return from their two month summer break (which occurs mid nov to mid jan) for the majority of my projects to start up again...so that makes it a little difficult to focus on the non'existent work load. And Iºm sick of this stupid keyboard setup which doesnºt give me the right symbols even when the key marks that symbol. Ugh. So, with that, I finish this entry.

Tchau.

Ha, eu menti (I lied). I have time to kill, since Iºm waiting for my boleia (free ride) to head back to my village, and access to this blog so I may as well continue writing.

Eh...oh, I know, Iºll type out the dialogue that occurred with the girl at the seed shop.

Me«Bom dia.

Her«Bom dia. Sim?

Me«Estou a procurar cementes. Esta quanto

Wow. So, I've been away from home for almost 14 months now, but I've only been at site for about 11 months. And I know I haven't been writing in my blog very religiously, so I guess it'd be nice of me to write a brief update of the past year.

Well...honestly, most of the stuff I've been doing here has just been getting over the culture shock. After having spent my entire life in California and then arriving in my tiny, impoverished village and being surrounded by strange languages and cultural practices...it did take a while for me to just start to comprehend the situation in which the locals live.

That being said, the local community based organization (CBO) that I work with finally recieved their legalization document this past month. I spent a lot of time trying to get that done with the limited resources which we have in our village, so it was a major relief when we finally got it. The local "capoeira" group has lost interest in capoeira and now practice karate. For some reason they've made me the grandmaster, even though I hardly ever come and I haven't practiced martial arts in over 13 years. They have a local (he's originally from the city 3 hours away, but studying at the highschool in my village) master who teaches them on a regular basis. Sometimes I practice capoeira in my yard, but I'm usually busy doing other stuff.

I have a new site mate who's pretty cool. He's a few years older than me, and he's actually a peace corps response volunteer (he already served his two year term about 8 years ago) who is working a 9 month agriculture project in my village. He's been helping me out with my guitar playing, so that's been fun. It totally changes the feel of my site too, knowing that I'm not the only American here. I definitely feel more comfortable in my skin. I have no idea how I survived last year all by myself, with no one to speak English to or who understood what life is like back in the states. There's just a huge gap in the type of stuff that we think about...you're probably wondering "like what?"

Well...for example, on a daily basis in the states we might think stuff like "oh, today I need to go buy milk at the supermarket after work, then drop by my buddy's house to play some video games, and then plan out my schedule for the month." On a daily basis in my village, it kind of goes like "Desejo que vai chover amanha, eu preciso de isso para minha machamba produzir muitas vegetais. Talvez eu vou pilar amendoim, ralar coco e vervir isso para ter leite de coco, e depois apanhar algums folhas de mandioca para fazer matapa para a comida nossas hoje (translation: I hope it rains tomorrow so that my farm will produce many vegetables. Maybe I'll pound some peanuts then shave a coconut and boil it to make some coconut milk and then light a some coals (using a plastic bag to start the fire) to cook that mixture with some leaves from my yard to make today's meal for my family)". I remember when I was learning how to make matapa, it took about four hours to make.

I could write more stuff about that, but I'm getting lazy.

Most of the kids/highschoolers that I work with are on vacation now (their Summer break is from November to January) so I'm working more with my CBO this month and next instead of with the students.

I've been eating a lot of coconuts recently. I'm getting better at choosing which coconuts are better to eat (sweeter and more tender) and at opening them with my knife (hacking at it to open it up and drink the juice then hacking it in half to be able to scoop out the meat). Melissa doesn't have lanhas at her site, so I'm suffering right now. Oh yeah, I should've mentioned, I'm at Melissa's site because she's having her despedida (going away party) today. I can't believe she's going to cos in less than two weeks.

Alright, gotta go, tchau tchau.

So...work is picking up. It's nice. I have lot of sweet little projects: have a journalism group at the secondary school, a music group with kids 13-15 (a bunch of them are orphans), a capoira group that wants to do theatre plays and shows in the community, I helped my local CBO (community based organization) restructure their leadership and am still currently helping them develop, and I'm trying help a bunch of orphans get registered so that they can receive financial aid. I think I might start a permaculture project in the near future too...maybe little income generating project with orphans or with the cbo too...we'll see...yeah...life is getting better.

Ok. Nao ha mais coisas para dizer. Ou talvez tenho, mais aqui nao e um bom sitio para falar.

Tchau. =)

So...I know I haven't written an entry in a really long time...but I seriously just didn't have the time or the patience before.

So...updates:

...

On second thought, I don't really feel like making anything that's happened public to the world back there. I'll just keep it as PC Moz fofoca. Sorry ya'all...

Well, maybe I can share that I can finally do an aerial (thank you mr. Mau Mau and the other capoeristas).

Ok...done.

Oh wait, I would like to say that I a couple days ago I hitch-hiked by myself for about 12 hours. Heading back to site tomorrow.

Ok...maybe I'm not done.

Summer is coming back! Starting to get hot again.

I'm trying to decide what to do about my hair. Cut it, braid it, or just leave it...decisions decisions...

Beach day was glorious...

Ok...now I'm done.

One day, I was coerced into attending a parade in my village. At the town square, while people paid their respects to a famous dead woman, a group of boys approached me. They said that they would teach me what they knew of capoeira if I would teach them what I knew of martial arts. Apparently, I "looked like" I knew how to fight...I'm not sure if that's because of the way I walked (which is actually quite awkward) or because I'm asian. Either way, sadly, they were kinda right...even though I stopped studying martial arts 13 years ago.

So...I started trying out capoeira. And then I realized something very obvious...I'm not as flexible as I was 13 years ago.

But it's still fun.

Peanuts?

Okay, imagine everything you know about the possible evolution of dinosaurs into modern day birds...got it? Okay, now imagine that all that happened to me in the past three months.

Yes, I now have wings, feathers, and can lay eggs. Sweet, right?

Ha, just kidding.

That is what I feel like, though. I seriously can't believe the stuff that's been happening to me...and it just comes non-stop, every day. Well, something big happens at least once a week.

Like, for example, a few days ago I was in a major city for a conference and a bunch of PCV's were robbed. I was walking back with an amigo and an amiga from a...place of dancing (which happened to be less than a block away from our hotel)...when four dudes jumped us. One had a knife, another had a broken bottle, and a third had...a coconut. The dude with the coconut was the one closest to me. The fourth thug grabbed my amiga and took some stuff from her. Just when things were looking very bleak, a car pulled up and the four ladrões jumped over a wall and sped off into the night. My buddy thanked the car and we hurried off to our hotel.

After the conference I was heading back home with a boleia, and the tire blew out. Of course, we were in the middle of nowhere, so we had to wait four hours for our driver to catch a boleia himself and fix the spare in the closest town. Not a big deal really. Kinda lame, thinking about it now, but I guess I'll just leave that there.

So...after a month filled with lots of viagems, I'm finally back at site. I have lots of ideas and lots of things to accomplish, but first I'm going to go for a run with my kids, cut my buddy's hair, and watch my clothes hang dry.

I am...so...not in the mood to write an entry now.

So...I shall...not write one. Kinda.

All I can say is...I think I need a time out.

Payce.

So...I was eating dinner with my buddy and a couple of friends that we knew at the hospital came over. They were going to the discoteca and asked us to join them. "Sure, why not?" I thought.

After a couple beers, I started dancing. I'm not sure who was raping who, but a lot of guys started taking turns battling me...very closely...as if I was a girl...I'm not sure how I feel about that. Well, I'm pretty sure I raped them.

I danced some more, until a girl asked me to dance with her. We talked for a bit, danced a lot, and then...she started to lick my ear. "WTF," I thought...So, when a girl came over and distracted her, I left the dance floor.

I talked with my buddy, and he said that I had been dancing with a hooker. He had seen her around the other barracas and had noticed her odd behavior.

I need to go shower. I sweated a lot. And...I don't want any STD's in my ear.

Can you imagine going from extreme sadness to extreme happiness in less than 24 hours?

Well, that has just happened to me, and as a result I'm extremely hyper at the moment. I won't explain in details what's happened...actually, I won't explain at all since it's all very private and this is a public blog...but...mew. Muahaha.

Sooooo...what's new in my world?

I have some RPCV's from Namibia coming to visit next week, I'm trying to score some funds for one of the local HIV stigma groups (all of them are HIV positive, but they are freaking awesome and happy people), I have a couple of orphans next door who I'm quickly becoming a father-figure to, and...I just have to straight up say this (sorry to all the peeps at home)...all the people I've met here in Moçambique (especially the expats and PCV's) are the most amazing individuals I've met in my life. I could not have asked for a better country placement...and I'm loving this province as well...

Okay, enough of that shiz.

So, interesting stories...I visited a hospital in a comunidade several km away, and they had a trash pit where they threw the placentas and biohazardous stuff (to be burned later), but it was placed directly next to a corn field. The nearest corn plant was seriously within 2 feet of the pit. Yummy!

People here love to dance. It's freaking awesome. Sometimes I'll walk behind the central mercado and people will be dancing in the fruit aisles. Oh yeah, I had a lanya (baby coconut) yesterday and I had a pineapple today. It was a nice change from my bread and peanut butter breakfast.

I 'm planning on starting my garden soon...maybe tomorrow after I find some corn seeds...I'm going to have peanuts, beans, onions, tomatoes, corn...and a couple other things...I don't have time to make any compost and I'm kinda lazy to find some ash, so I'll see what I can do with just pure digging...hopefully my yard has some nice nutrients...but whatevs.

There's more that I'd like to say but I seriously can't tell you...I just can't.

Peace out yo!

It all started off with frogs mating.

I was itchy from bug bites and what not, and my bed was uncomfortable...so I wasn't sleeping very well. Then, when the loud music from the local barraca (which is normal and I can normally sleep through) finally stopped at 10pm, the mating frogs started up. Now, all you people in the states might think you've heard frogs before, but some of these frogs sounded like they were being murdered or something. High pitched squeals emanated between the barotone croaks. Then a cat screeched at my dog. Then a dog growled at my dog, causing Vaca to whine to me...begging to be let in the house. I drifted in and out of restless sleep until 4am, when the Mosque's call to prayer told me that the sun would be up soon and I would no longer score any more z's.

So, I spent the next night at my buddy's house (and by buddy, I mean my Mozambican-doctor-mulatto buddy...there are no other Americans in my town...the only one I know of in the whole district, besides me, lives out in the boonies and I only see her a couple days every month or so).

I woke up at 5am, pretty well rested...used his comp to upload a few pix...watched the new version of Ninja Turtles dubbed in Portuguese...took a three hour trip over a bumpy road to a beach 50km away...tomar'ed banho in my undies with four other mozambican dudes in the ocean (they were better prepared and had speedos on)...caught a few waves, with my underwear threatening to wash out to sea (I hope the crabs and clams got a good look)...had some lobster which was pretty dry and unsatisfying, but only $5 US...fries and rice included...then listened to classical rock on the way back home: "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more..." Our driver speaks only a little English, but he loves listening to American jams. I waved to kids who randomly waved at us on the bumpy roads. I started pondering whether or not I like my new life here...a leaf from a coconut tree falling as I contemplated if I'm still in awe at being in Africa.

Not so much in awe anymore...it's more like...an awakening for me. I am here...I've been wanting to be here for a long time, and there are many things I am planning to accomplish...and I am finally here to do it.

If you don't leave the safety and comforts that you're used to...if you just follow the ebb and flow of the society you've been caught in...you'll never discover what it is that your heart really desires...well, at least for people like me, that is.

I've always felt something missing, and I think I've finally found it. It took me a couple years and a trip to the opposite side of the world...and some intensive classes and social adjustments...but I feel pretty damn lucky to live the life that I have and be the person that I am. Crazy, neh?

Since I'm so far behind in updating my blog, I'll just start writing random stuff.

Today at the market:

Dude (to me): Chinese man!

Me (to dude): American man!

Ingrid (to me): Sorry man.

Did you know that the quickest way to get from one moment to another is to pesada until time stops? Yes, it is quite true. (Pesada is a popular method of dancing here)

I lost count of the number of times I've been called "china" and the number of times people have asked me why I don't have a woman yet. I guess I get the china thing more, but they're both a little annoying.

My puppy is named Vaca de Plastico. He likes to play with plastic. And he's really cute. I feed him xima mixed with dried fish. Xima is kinda like mashed potatoes except it doesn't have butter and it's made with corn. It's more popular than rice here.

Ummmm....oh yeah, Vaca is cow, and Cao is dog, so...that's why he's named Vaca.

I ate some of the xima with dried fish that I made the other day before feeding it to Vaca, and then as I was spooning it out to give to him, I found some insect larvae. I thought the mixture tasted a little bitter. Oh well, more protein.

I was walking in the rain yesterday and a girl asked me if I wanted to share her umbrella with her. I told her that I was fine, but she said I would get a fever if I didn't. I said it was still very hot and so I was good...but yeah, anyway, a friend later told me that she was trying to hit on me. Did I ever mention that I met a girl at a discoteca, exchanged numbers, and then never called her? Yeah, I see her around town a lot, and it's a little awkward. Maybe I'll just say hi next time. But whatevs.

Dudes here are really touchy. And open...did I mention that...*content omitted...I'll tell you when I get back to the states*

Uh...I saw a huge snail today. They make me laugh.

Vaca likes to bark and pounce on insects. There are a lot of insects in my house. A lot of times, I'll get home and find a bunch of dead insects in my house. I don't know why they die...they just die in the middle of my floor for no apparent reason.

Ah, the insects here are crazy. I'd like to start a bug collection, but I don't have any pins or a case to stick them in.

The rainy season has started. It's very pleasant. Lalalalaa...

Uh...Did I talk about new year's yet? Well, Christmas sucked...I just stayed in my house alone. But new years was freaking awesome. Have you ever heard of Hankey Bannister? Cheap, but good. Ah...the stories I have to tell but can't...so sad, so sad...

Yesterday a gang of kids came to my house and started playing with Vaca. Then we all started dancing and they started clapping to my beat. It was pretty cool.

Okay, here's a soap box moment: I am here doing exactly what I wanted to do for a long time and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Life here is super tough, I lost a lot of amenities, and I'm getting paid nothing, but there is nothing I would rather be doing right now. If you never take a leap into the great beyond and search for your own true calling, you will never find out what heights you may reach.

Okay, that's done with.

Ummmmm....I've become somewhat of a celebrity here. I am the only person in town with glasses, and the kids have started making makeshift glasses out of wire and other trash...

Dude...I have no idea when I'll be able to write another post, but it's tough to think about things I haven't written yet...and can write about...uh...

Okay, I guess that's it for now. Chao-der! Miss all ya fools back in the states! Eat some fast food for me! I'm getting skinny again. The market has lots of dried fish though. Yum. With worms. Double yum. (Don't worry though, it's just the off season. Vegetables and other goodies will come back in Feb.)

So...since I have very little time and I´m not sure when I´ll have more time to write, I´ll just write random stuff from PST.

- I had classes 10 hours a day, five days a week...and then every Saturday we had an activity that would normally take the whole day.

- The capital city of Maputo is a pretty big place that is full of buildings that have not finished construction (and won´t be finished any time soon...I´m not sure if I can tell why in a public website...so I won´t write it now...by the way, writing in a blog is kinda annoying when I have to censor so many things...anyway...)

- I visited some beautiful waterfalls...

- I learned the ins and outs of HIV and we talked about sex every single day...I´m pretty sure most of the people in my group are mentally scarred...at least for a while.

- There were 66 trainees in the beginning, three new trainees came a week after training started because the program in the country they were supposed to go to was cancelled and they got bumped to our country...but two people ETéd (early terminated...and both of them were in my language group...that I was the group leader of...which made me really sad...and by the way each group had 5 or 6 people in it...so there are only three of us left from our original language group...sad, eh? But we were the language group that was the worst at Portuguese, so I guess it kinda makes sense.)

- I saw a baboon.

- Giant millipedes roam wild here. They´re as common as squirrels back in the states.

- All the insects here are huge. I saw a sun spider a few weeks ago. I´ve seen ants three-quarters of an inch big.

- Mosquitos are vicious, but they don´t really start biting until after 6pm and stop by around 5am.

- I have mosquito bites on my butt. Because I had a diarrhea session at 2am (which is the prime time for the Malaria carrying mosquitos to bite...they usually bite between 1am and 3am)...but I don´t have any Malaria symptoms yet, so I think I´m ok. Maybe.

- I am going to be working in conjunction with a rather large non-government organization

- My Portuguese still sucks. But at least I can communicate with crianças (that means children, pre-teen but after five years old) pretty well

Okay, gotta go. Ciao!

Hello! I finally decided to write a post. Well, more like i finally found a chance to write one. Pre-service training is over and all of us (that made it through training) are now volunteers. Woo hoo!

I left my host family way behind and am now over half of the country away from them. To give you a visual reference, Mozambique is roughly twice the size of California. So long host sisters who I had grown so attached to.

My life back in that village was so different from the way it is going to be for the next two years, and I have so much to write about the past 10 weeks, so I'll just write about training for today.

Entao...

I arrived in the training town (I'm not supposed to give the names of towns in my blog) along with all the other new trainees and we were met by a swarm of our host parents. After wandering around for a few minutes, I finally saw a man holding a piece of paper with my name on it. I went up to him and said awkardly, "Ola! Eu sou Josh."

He replied, "Oh yeah? Voce esta Jochua?"

Then he promptly grabbed my hand and didn't let go for the 15 minutes it took us to walk to his abode. I walked into the house and thought, "Wow...this is a small room." However, it didn't take long for the house to feel like home.

Okay, no more time to write. Maybe I'll get around to it some day?

Heh, I was going to write stuff, but I forgot what I was going to write.

Whoops.

I'm leaving for staging on the morning of the 28th.

It's crunch time!