Hey! I'm still here! A little bit overwhelmed but overall OVERJOYED to be back home. NYC is more amazing than I remembered and I've been super busy with friends and family. My "to-do" list seems to grow by the day and I should probably get working on: doing laundry, cleaning my house, getting rid of my old college stuff, understanding my students loans that I have to start repaying soon, getting a new State ID (the old one expired while I was in PC), etc etc. BUT....have been feeling lazy about it. Maybe its a remnant of my TZ days where accomplishing ONE thing the entire day was more than enough. I am, though, happy to say that I have finally put up some of my photos from Tanzania and Ethiopia. Check em out (click on the albums above) and hope you guys like em!

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this blog...keep it, get a new one, what? But I definitely need to change the title, huh (thanks Ruslan!)?

Also been feeling scared/lazy/nervous about job searching so have not really started..... Have, however, given it much thought and talked to friends and have decided that I will start looking for things in finance and consulting. Any tips would be greatly appreciated :) The scared factor comes from being nervous about putting myself out there again and once I get a job, I'm nervous about not having time for friends anymore.... But we'll see, huh?

But overall, am happy to say that I still feel chill and calm about stuff, something I picked up in TZ that I was hoping would stick with me for a while.

PROMISE to post about Ethiopia soon (its on my list of things to do, hehe)!

Hey! Yup! Its official. I'm back. Whoosh. Just got in late last night around 11pm from Addis. We had a stopover at Beirut, Lebanon and a layover at London Heathrow. The flight was really long but not bad at all and Ethiopia, in a word, was AMAZING! Sorry didnt get to blog. Internet was mostly dial up but surprisingly widespread. I also couldnt access blogs to read them...must be government blocked.

So what now? Lots of catching up with people (look out for a mass email Ill send in a few days) and SLOWLY adjusting back.... Its harder than I imagined. I freaked out a little last night, and will admit that tears were shed before sleeping. I don't know. It'll all be okay, no worries. Its just I think you build up this image you have of home in your brain for two years, get back, and see the reality of it all. And its just so strange being back to....home....after Tanzania and after travelling in Ethiopia for three weeks, where everyday I learned so much and saw so many new things. I'm inarticulate right now (probably could use some tasty food, haha) and will put up some photos soon (I took a trillion). More commentary to come.

Logistically, no cell phone yet but getting one on Monday I think. Monday also hanging out with Matt, my PCV friend I was in Ethiopia with. And already on Wednesday I'll be back to my old lab for a holiday lunch. I'm so excited to see people!

okay, really quick note cuz the internet here is dial up and super slow but i'm in ethiopia, have been here almost a week and loving it! its a really awesome, super beautiful country and i took a ton of pictures and have so much to tell you guys about. just for now though im doing well and safe and still planning on coming home dec 15 but slight possibility that i may move my flight up. hope you're all well and staying warm and cant wait to be home soon!

Hey, Happy early Turkey Day! Not sure I'll get a chance to actually update tomorrow, but hope everyone eats delicious things. I'm back in Dar es Salaam, in the PC office, and honestly, a bit overwhelmed. Three main reasons. One- a trillion volunteers are here for the Turkey celebrations at the Ambassador's house. Two- I'm leaving TZ in TWO days to go to Ethiopia. Three- my travelling around has been exhausting me. Tremendously. Its been awesome, but intense. Since my last post, I've spent a week in Mwanza with Brian, a few days in Morogoro visiting my favorite Kiswahili teacher who taught me during training over two years ago and also visiting my old counterpart from Ndwika Secondary who is studying in Morogoro, and then I went to Zanzibar to visit Erica. And I just got back from Zanz today.

Okay, so I'm really lame, here's a part of Brian's description of my visit to his from his blog-

So Michelle [check out her blog, link at the right, and congrats to her since she is officially done with her PC service!] was here for about a week and it was nice to share some of my experiences in my town with another volunteer. I don't get a whole lot of guests. And boy did we hit the ground running, the first day she got here we went to a wedding in a nearby town. It was scheduled to start [the party] at 6pm, and wedding parties here follow a VERY strictly organized schedule, with time allotted for greetings, gifts, cake cutting, etc. That is, everything is planned down to the minute when it is supposed to take place.

Of course, the kicker is that this is Tanzania. So most of the guests arrived around 8pm, a good 2 hours late, and the party didn't actually get started until 10pm. UGH. We were both very tired, her moreso due to the travels, but once it started it was pretty nice. The happy couple, of course, looked miserable, since that's what brides and grooms are supposed to look like here. But the GUESTS, we had fun, drinking soda and beer, clinking glasses and giving gifts [everytime you go up to the head table to give a gift or something, you have to sort of 'dance' your way up to local TZ music]. The food was nice, although it was at about 1:30 am, and there was a bit of dancing. I didn't know a whole lot of people there, but the groom is a good friend of mine and I have worked closely with him on several projects, so he was happy to see me there and I was happy to see him. Granted he's lived with his wife for 15 years and they have 3 kids, but they'd never actually had a wedding. One of the guests described this as 'fixing things up', as in, he had sort of stolen his wife and now he was setting things right. Oh yeah, they got 3 cows and some goats and chickens in addition to dishes and cloth as wedding gifts.

The next few days we hung out in Misungwi, greeting my friends and checking out all a small TZ town has to offer. Not a lot, but we had fun. She helped me teach my last period at the Secondary school [we reviewed STDs and then watched a powerful, GRAPHIC, but I think very educational video on STDs which shows up-close shots of syphillis, chancroid, gonorrhea, etc]. We also went to the TTC for my last period there, where I taught the most whirlwind lesson on condoms ever, but despite the rush it went well and I think they got something out of it, or at least I hope ONE person at least got ONE little thing out of it, I think that would be enough for me to be content.

-----

Zanzibar was really awesome, a bit rainy but totally got tons of gifts (hope ya'll ready for fun things!!!) and got really beautiful henna done up my left arm. Yes, I totally have photos but sadly, can't upload right now. It would take too much time and too many people waiting to use this computer. Which, my the way, means I should peace out now.

Going to Ethiopia this Friday! Coming back to America, for now, on Dec 15! YAY! I'll try to write from Ethiopia but not sure how internet connected the country is. Its the 2nd poorest country in the world....sweet. Tanzania is 10th. It will be interesting to compare. Bye for now!

Hey! Its Friday afternoon and apparently...Veteran's Day. Who knew? I only found out when I got to the PC office and noticed that I was the only one present besides the guards... (the staff get days off for both TZ and American holidays). Oh well, my brain is not very American oriented these days. I was in Lushoto this past week visiting my friend Ness and we got a text from Matt about the elections and we were like....oh yeah! Elections! But am really happy to read just now online that the Dems took majority in both House and Senate. Makes returning home somehow easier...

So yes, am in Dar. Got in from Lushoto just this afternoon. Had an EXCELLENT time at Ness's. We did a lot of hanging out, chatting, cooking, visiting her friends and neighbors, and I helped her teach her Form 3 physics class. We did lab practicals, it was really fun. Made me think that maybe I don't hate teaching and that maybe it depends on the topic and the students.... Lushoto was just as beautiful as the two other times I've visited and may have been even more lush and green due to the intense rain its been getting lately. It rained, no joke, EVERY DAY, for the five days I was there. So it was way colder than I expected and we couldn't do much walking around or hiking but it was still really fun. I actually heard that its been raining a lot here in Dar as well as in Kenya, to the point where Kenya had to postpone its national secondary school exams. Luckily, and I continue to cross my fingers, its not raining here in Dar today.

Tomorrow I'm off to Mwanza, up by the beautiful Lake Victoria (3rd largest in the world? something like that). Brian tells me its not been raining nearly as much. Am totally looking forward to hanging out and more eating and going to work with him (he's also a health PCV like me) but especially am excited about washing my clothes and having them dry in less than 3 days :) The last time I was in Mwanza, I took the bus. This time, I decided to break out the big bucks and fly to both save time (the bus takes 2 days) and save my sanity. The latter especially since I'll be by myself.

Think that is all for now. Feeling a little bit nervous about my trip to Ethiopia with Matt; things are apparently heating up with Islamist fundamentalists in Somalia and Kenya... Ah well, we'll play it by ear and we might have to change our plans.

Oh man. Its official. No longer a Peace Corps Volunteer! Its a crazy, out of body experience. So weird. Two years. Has gone by sooooo fast! Still so much to do. So many more places to go before home. Official itinerary:

In Tanzania-

Lushoto,Tanga for a week

Mwanza for a week

Morogoro for a few days

Zanzibar for a few days

Then I'll be in Ethiopia from right after Thanksgiving until December 15, when I fly out to go home. Sweet!

So after I got back to Tanzania and my village from being in America, the days and weeks just FLEW BY. It was crazy how much stuff I had to get done. It was endless packing and cleaning and burning my old papers and things that Jess my replacement didn't need. And then there was the last few days in my village when I just went around taking a ton of pictures and saying goodbye's. It was incredibly stressful and sad but I promised people that I would be back in a few years to visit and that we could keep in touch through letters and Jess. Its crazy "closing" up a life you've led for the past two years and not knowing when you'll see certain people, if ever again.

After I left my village (incidentally, on my bus ride out they were playing this popular song called "starehe" and the chorus goes "kwa herini, kwa herini..." or goodbye!) I went to Mtwara to spend the night and Danielle and I met a bongo flava music star named Daz Baba (www.dazbaba.com)! Bongo flava is kind of like the hip hop of Tanzania and East Africa and I'm really into it. It was cool talking to him and his posse but its so interesting how different music superstars in Tanzania are from ones in the States. I mean, obviously, I knew there would be big differences (no stretch limos or red carpet treatment here...), but I expected that they would have a slightly higher standard of living. But nope, they were just staying at some regular hotel Danielle and I were at and riding the really really crappy bus (the one I was on that hit a tree) back up to Dar es Salaam. I was kinda surprised and then I found out from talking to our friend Tenney who knows even BIGGER Bongo Flava music stars that its basically the case with all of them. They are more or less regular people with not such fancy lives. I'm sure a buncha factors come into play but I think its mainly cuz things like royalties and contracts and money issues are not dealt with in a way that would give the artists themselves the most amount of profit.... I guess typical in developing countries?

Anyway, then after Mtwara the next day we got a ride up to Dar es Salaam with the PC vehicle which was an awesome air conditioned Land Cruiser. The road was pretty bad cuz the rains have started (its only paved in bits and pieces here and there) but it was definitely way more comfortable than taking a bus. About a million times more. So we were very grateful.

Once we got to Dar es Salaam (it took 2 days cuz we had to stay overnight; PC is not allowed to drive at night, for good reason) we just have been spending our time here finishing up lots of paperwork and medical appointments to offially close out.

So exciting! So yes. Thats me for now. My adventure here in Tanzania is coming to a close. I'm so so excited to visit friends and be in one place for a little while but have said some sad good byes to other friends who have already left to travel or go home. I'm also super excited but very nervous about Ethiopia but I know it will be a huge learning experience and good times. I miss you all! Write me, I love emails and comments :) Hope you guys like the pics; I dont think I'll have a chance to post more until I get home.

Steph's kitten Matako licking a frog!

One view from the "bus stand" in my village

Primary school students running in the morning

Me in front of the sign for the primary school in MY village - Nagaga!

Cooking on my kerosene stove

A close up of cashew nut and fruit - pride of my region

Crazy scary bug we saw one night at Steph's

Banana trees, yay!

Danielle walkin on a road in Mtwara town

One view of my house on the inside; the buckets are full of water

A sunset behind Ndwika

On the way to Ndwika

Tony and I at his counterpart's saying bye.



Me and Tony's counterpart - Mama Joseph



Some mama's lining up their plastic buckets to fetch water

Hey! I'm in Dar es Salaam and starting my close of service process! I totally left my village. Lots to tell, but will type more later. Below are some pics!

A giant baobab tree near my village on the way to Ndwika Secondary and Steph's that I love.

Me and Tony at close of service conference back in July

My group at close of service! We started with 41, down to 25 now!

Hey all. I am back in Tanzania now. Have been back for 9 days now and what can I say? My life at the moment all just feels like a blur. My time at home in Amrica was very fast and very surreal but I am glad that I was there. I cant even begin to describe how strange it was to be back home so I'll leave that till I am home for good in December. Now, being back in TZ feels strange as well. It's emotionally and mentally weird to be moving between what I feel like are two separate lives I lead. Like when I am here, in TZ, in my village, it is weird to me that I have a whole other life and family and friends and responsibilities at home in America. And when I was in America, it was unfathomable that I had a life and a job and friends and a house in TZ.

Oh well. I'm growing and learning a lot from all of this! I have only 10 more days left in my village. Today I came out to a mission hospital 4 hours away from my site to say good bye to a mama that I am very close to here. I've been busy at site feeling very flustered cleanign my house, packing up, and saying my good-byes. I've accumulated so much physically and emotionally in the past two years! Hard to tell until you actually get down to the business of wrapping things up. I'm going to miss people so much. Especially my students. I really want to see how they end up doing in school and life. I'll be in touch with people here though. And I'll be asking my roommate for village updates when I'm back in America. But in the end, I think I'm ready to move on with life and the new challenges I know it will bring.

Will write again soon from Dar es Salaam when I'm in the office closing out my service! Hope you are all well!

So my dad passed away Sunday night and I found out here Tuesday afternoon. Things have been frustrating with communication and phone troubles and being so far away from it all and I'm tired and overwhelmed, but I think it will all be ok. So I left Wednesday early morning from my village at 4am and made it to Dar es Salaam by 1pm. It only took one car, a bus, and a plane! Tonight at around 11pm I'm off to JFK Airport.... Its all very surreal right now, but just wanted to let you guys know. I'll be home for only a few days and will be in touch with some of you. Then I'm headed back here to finish up my service in TZ. Hope you're all doing well.

Really sorry! Its been forever since I blogged. A whole host of reasons accounting for it, including the fact that my closest town, Masasi, lost its internet cafe. It just wasn't making enough money and at the same time sucking money from the NGO that ran it, so it closed. Now I'm in Mtwara, my regional capital, 8 hours from my village, trying to get in as much internet time as I can possibly tolerate brain and wallet wise.

So whats new? Hmm, a lot and not a lot at the same time if thats possible. I was trying to write down a weird checklist of things I wanted to tell you guys and its kinda random but I'm have a stab at it, so here goes:

I have a new roommate! Housemate, technically. Her name is Jessica. Its actually pretty funny cuz 7km away at Ndwika Secondary School (hey Cyndi!) where I have my peer educators, two PC Volunteers ago was a girl named Jessica and little kids around that area still call ME and the volunteer at Ndwika (Steph) by the name Jessica. Sometimes the kids just get used to one Mzungu (white) name and then they'll call every Mzungu that name. Awesome. In any case, THIS Jess, my housemate, is really nice and pretty cool. She's getting electricity put in the house, so thats pretty exciting but its been a headache and a half, to say the least. Lots of chasing after people, paperwork, money, supplies, etc etc. Gotta say though, having a housemate is both new and exciting and very very different. Like I've said before, I think I just really got used to living on my own, doing my own thing, having things stay where I left them, etc. But its only for SIX more weeks.

Sweet, so onto that. Leaving. What a strange thought. Continues to be strange. I guess it will hit me when I actually start packing and physically remove myself from the village, but for the time being I STILL sometimes feel like me being here is this strange, surreal experience. Like, I'm really in Tanzania? And have been here for two years now?! So....travel plans. I leave village around Halloween, late October. Go up to Dar es Salaam to close out my service and fill out PC paperwork in the office. Hang out in TZ for a few weeks visiting people, mainly Ness and Brian. Spend Thanksgiving at the Ambassador's in Dar. Fly to Ethiopia with Matt and Jon for four weeks. Fly back to the States and arrive in NYC DECEMBER 15. Such is the plan thus far. Of course, as most things are here, this is subject to change. But for now, be prepared for my bad English, weird new mannerisms, colorful clothes, and lots of gifts come mid December. YAY!

So what have I been up to? What will I do these last few weeks? I had spent some time prepping my house and village for Jess's arrival. I've been making tons of to do lists of things that need to be taken care of before I leave. I've been trying to wrap up teaching and projects. I've been to a cashew nut farm!

Whoa, that last comment. That deserves a paragraph. So yes, I may have mentioned before but my region's major cash crop is the cashew nut. The esteemed korosho (in Swahili) is grown on trees and highly prized for its annual income generation. Like its obvious when korosho are in season (as they are now) because people are happier, eating more, travelling more, buying new clothes, etc. So people have these korosho farms with varying numbers of trees. The farm of one of my closest mama friends that I went to was HUGE by village standards, it had maybe 200+ trees? And the job for the day when I went? Pick up korosho that fell off the trees. At first this sounds simple, before I actually got to the farm, I thought to myself-it cant be too bad cuz the nuts are attached to these bright yellow and orange colored fruits, they'll be easy to find. WRONG. Some of the fruits have dried into dirt colored things and the bases of the trees are just covered in dead leaves and grass. So its like Where's Waldo....with korosho. It was awesome tho. I spent the whole morning and most of the afternoon becoming intimately familiar with the korosho trees, fruit, and nut. I did everything from picking up nuts to sorting them to pulling the fruit apart from the nut to burning the nuts and cracking them open in order to get to the actual korosho's. So the nuts are sold by the kilo to rich folk who rip off people here and send them to be processed outside the country and the fruits are eaten or made into local alcohol. That day, my mama even brought with her corn meal and vegetables and dried fish so we cooked lunch out there on the farm. It was tasty and we were starving. At the end of the day, I was incredibly tired and sore but it was a really cool experience. And now I totally can understand. Because before I actually had gone myself, I always knew and talked to people about how their day at the farm went and what they did, but its an entirely different experience actually doing it oneself. It makes me realize how lucky I am that my life and sustenance is not dependent on farming. Lucky is maybe not the word. Privileged, perhaps.

Lets see. What else? Fellow volunteers are leaving so I have a few going away parties to go to coming up. TZ-ans take their parties pretty seriously. Its all about getting dressed up, having an MC, getting a DJ, having a timetable complete with speeches and poetry and dancing times and a high table with guests of honor, etc etc. Sweet! I myself, am luckily, not going to have a big time going away party in my village but will combine my going away with my end of year peer educators party at Ndwika.

Its midterm break now for most secondary schools (one week long only) so things have been a little halted teaching wise but I decided that I would tutor a few kids in math who wanted extra help and who lived in and around my village. Can I just say for as much as I really hate teaching in the classroom this tutoring thing was the BEST idea? Not only did I get to really see where my students were having problems but I got to do a lot of individual work catered to each student's abilities, students were able to help each other, and I got to know them all a lot better. And we had just hours and hours a day to do math. Cuz they weren't doing anything else. What a way to spend midterm break! Pretty tiring for me to explain the same thing a million times over to different students and sometimes to the same student over and over and to speak Swahili for that long but it was good times all around and I hope my students felt like they got something out of it. What I taught, if anyone is interested, is solving simultaneous equations. For example, given that x+y=5 and 3x-y=x+13 then what are the values of x and y?

So of course, I've been telling people that I'm leaving soon. Mainly to prepare them and myself and also it happens when I'm introducing Jess (i.e. this is my replacement in the village) but its heartwarming for people and my students to tell me things like: don't leave! we've gotten used to you here, we don't know what the new girl will be like. who will teach us when you're gone? you should add on an extra year. you should go home for a little and then come back for five more years. etc etc. I've tried to explain that as much as I really loved it here and learned so so much, I miss America and my friends and family and haven't seen them in two years. Its hard for people to imagine what my life was like before TZ and how much that differs from my life here now. I can't explain things like I don't find the work here stimulating enough and that I miss being a student and really hate the harrassment I sometimes get and am frustrated with the systems that exist here, and don't feel like I'm making any impact at all and that I'm ready to move onto the next stage of my life. Can't explain it for lack of language, lack of understanding and sumpathy in my audience (you're white and have a good life here, what do YOU have to complain about?), and not wanting any hurt feelings or feelings of self pity by TZ-ans (our country is so bad and poor and yours is so rich. how often do I hear this? and then have to reply that they are just very very different and you cannot compare in that way).

Okay, so thats me in a nutshell. Just gearing up for leaving the village and my travels ahead. Doing really well for the most part. Thought will probably be really sad to finally leave site. May not get to update again until I get to Dar es Salaam late Oct. Missing you all and hoping to see you sooooon! Email or leave hello comments :)

It was weird. Had my close of service (COS) conference and we talked about all these re-adjusting back to life in America issues like resumes and jobs and returned volunteer services and health insurance! It was wild and now this is it. Final stretch. THREE MORE MONTHS left. Wow..... I don't know how you guys feel but wasn't it just yesterday that I was at home running around saying bye to people for the next two years and here I am, ready to head back.

In any case, to backtrack a little. The COS conference was SUPER! We had a great time hanging out on the beach and our sessions were cool and relaxed and we all laughed a great deal and had good quality time with each other. It also helped that the food was spectacular Western fare of buffet breakfasts, lunches, dinners. An awesome change from what we normally eat at our sites. We were there for four nights, stayed at really nice two person bandas by the beach with hot showers and all - courtesy of PC. Super.

After that, spent some time in Dar es Salaam before heading back down south and to my village. It was both exciting and strange to be back alone in my own house at my site. Exciting cuz I had been so tired of travelling non stop and living out of my bookbag for five weeks and I had missed my friends in the village but strange because those five weeks were daily packed with volunteers all around me, cool places to go, things to do, people to see, awesome food to be had. Not to mention all the English speaking. And then suddenly I was alone again. Totally mixed feelings. It used to be AWFUL in the beginning and I would hate being back and miss my non Tanzanian friends so so much, but I've gotten tons better at the re-adjustment back to site after being away for a while.

Which is all to say I am equally nervous and excited about heading home. Okay, so remember my Europe plans with Erica? She's extending now for an extra year on Zanzibar! So we wont be going to Europe, which is cool with me cuz I knew stuff like this may come up (they always do, just a part of life here somehow). And I am SO SO thrilled for her! To go from small village life in one of the poorest regions of the country to living on a tropical resorty island with running water and electricity. Hehe, and I cant help but think of all the amazing food and fresh fish and easy access to everything (from banks to beaches to internet to goods to NGOs) she'll be fortunate to have. Makes ME almost wish I were extending :) But alas, I really feel like my time here is up and I'm thrilled to be going home soon and starting up the next stage of my life. Which will include job hunting and serious hanging out with friends time.

So overall, things are prettty good. Am excited about a potential replacement volunteer coming to live with me in my house in a few weeks. Trying not to get my hopes up but really hope that I DO get replaced and she comes. How awesome and different to have a roommate for my last two months at site?

Anyway, hope everyone's having a great summer. Miss you all! Have I mentioned how much I love emails and comments?! :)

Hey, currently am in Tanga town with some friends. Its my first time here and I'm really liking it so far! I spent the past week visiting my friends Hilary and Ness at their incredibly beautiful sites up in the Usumbara Mountains. It was gorgeous and lush and food filled and best of all, cold. I slept with a sleeping bag! But anyway, Tanga is on the coast and really HOT, thus the title. Its weird going from a week of gray skies and wearing three shirts to burning sun. I am much more used to the latter but its nevertheless a small shock to the system.

So how can I sum up the past week? Lots of hanging out, meeting people, seeing our friends' schools (they're both secondary school teachers), walking around, cooking (some of our more impressive attempts being soup, burgers, grilled cheese sandwiches, ravioli, and cake), sleeping, watching videos on Ness's TV (yea! she has a TV! well, it technically belongs to the school, but they keep it in her house, amazing!), and admiring the beauty of the surrounding mountains and hills (complete with mini waterfalls, how cool!). Yesterday at Ness's we went on this hike for about 3 hrs roundtrip to this amazing place simply called the Viewpoint where honestly and cornily, I felt on top of the world. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. How to even describe it? We were on the edge of these cliffs and could see the land and sky and clouds all around us for what seemed like infinity. It was incredible. I cannot give it justice. Even the photos I took will not be able to give it justice.

We left Ness's site this morning to come to Tanga and tomorrow I'm on my way back to Dar for our close of service conference with PC. For the first time since we left for our individual sites back in December 2004 my training group will be united as a whole! Of course, we've seen each other here and there, but ALL of us ALL in one place? Its been a while. So I'm terribly excited. We all are. It all seems to be happening so fast! And before I know it, I'll be home, huh? And missing TZ so so much. I already see it coming. Even now I miss my village. I've been travelling for a while now. Its awesome to be in new places and meet new people and see my friends but one starts to miss familiarity and one's own house and bed and time alone. How much I've changed.... Anyway, I need to run. Miss you guys! Hi Cindy! Really glad you and Greg made it back okay, I hope I'll have a chance to come visit ya'll when I get back :)

Hey! Happy slightly belated Fourth of July!!! I am back in Dar es Salaam and last night about 30 volunteers and I were at the American Embassy singing the two national anthems for a bunch of Embassy guests and ambassadors and what not. It was pretty cool. As you can imagine, us volunteers were rather excited about the open bar and free food :) We got to schmooze a little and I met some interesting people (a super pretty actress from NYC, a random country rock girl band from California, some people with Sesame Street, the Ambassador to South Korea, the manager of the Holiday Inn here, and a group working with bringing TZ-an kids with heart problems to the States). There was also a few minutes of really breathtaking fireworks on the Embassy grounds. When was the last time I saw live fireworks?! Then we headed to a bar to watch the Italy Germany World Cup game.

Sooooo...how was MALAWI?! Wow, where do I begin? It was crazy times, for many many reasons. First of all, it took me 8 days to get there from my village. That roughly translates into about a millon and two hours on buses and one worst day of my life on a boat. The boat trip is a story that cant really be told in its entirety in these "pages" but lets just say it involved everything going wrong that could have gone wrong and 15 hours on a very rocky boat where I must have thrown up about 7 or 8 times.... And the boat didn't even take us to Malawi. We just ended back in TZ again. So we had to backtrack and get to Malawi by land transport. ANYWAY, we finally made it to Nkhata Bay and stayed at a really nice and resorty place on Lake Malawi. We ate lots of awesome food, met some people (can't say they were quite that interesting though....), went swimming and snorkeling (schistomiasis, anyone?), and just hung out for about three nights. It was fun but colder than we were expecting. We found out that horseback riding was way further out and expensive to get to than we thought so we ended up not going. And since we arrived late to Malawi, Danielle wasnt able to start her diving course when she wanted to so she stayed behind a few days.

So some more things about Malawi. Technically, it is the 4th poorest country in the world, with TZ being the 5th but thats all based on GNP calculations and we just got the general feeling that Malawi was WAY poorer than TZ. Actually, it was kind of funny because we ended up meeting a lot of TZ-ans in Malawi who were there to do business and stuff because Malawi imports almost everything.... I was really looking forward to picking up really cool Malawian cloth and things but they were all from TZ... And we heard more than one time how much "better" TZ is. A little weird. Malawi is also a really really small country compared to TZ. I really think that the whole of Malawi is about the size of my region in TZ. And we were up north, which is the "poorer" part of Malawi. We found Malawians to be incredibly friendly though. Just really warm and laid back and cool. Malawi's nickname is the "warm heart of Africa." Also a big thing we noticed and liked - Malawians speak English! Like everyone we spoke to had at least really basic working knowledge of it to greet and be able to give us directions and etc. Such a big change from TZ! But in Malawi there is no unifying national language like Swahili is in TZ, which as a volunteer, I really like cuz it means I can go anywhere in the country and still be able to communicate.

But truly, it sometimes takes crazy travelling and going to another country to truly appreciate and love the one that you are in. I cannot explain in words how happy Erica and I were to be back on TZ soil and back in Dar es Salaam - land of sun, Swahili speakers, familiar streets and surroundings, and friends we knew. Awesome.

Now what? There's another 4th of July party in a few days and then I'm going with a few friends up to visit my friend Ness in her little nook of the mountains in one of the most green and prosperous regions of the country. I went last year around this time but wasn't able to stay that long but this time I think I'll be able to get in some more hiking and walking around. Should be cool.

Then after that is my close of service conference where we get to sit in sessions on what to do after pc, how to leave our sites, etc etc. Its going to be on a beach (another reason to love TZ - we're right on the Indian Ocean!) and I'll be with all the remaining people that I came to TZ with almost two years ago. Coming around full circle :)

Anyway, think thats all for now. May not update for a little while, but as usual, look forward to reading comments and emails from you guys and hope everyone is doing really well at home! xoxo

Hey guys, back in town (Masasi). Am actually on my way to Malawi with two friends for a week. I'm super excited to see Lake Malawi and to go horseback riding and hopefully snorkeling. My friend Danielle is going to get scuba certified (sorry, have I already mentioned all of this in a previous entry? If so, sorry!). Then, things are a little up in the air but promise to be fun. How can life NOT be fun travelling around TZ?

My week or so in my village was somehow uneventful. My birthday came and went and sadly, loads of my friends weren't around (volunteer or Tanzanian....) but I made myself a KICK BUTT banana cake (man, I gotta go home and bake it for you guys, its heavenly) and tried but somehow failed to make a Tanzania spiced rice dish. I also finished reading Guns, Germs, and Steel. It was really well written and really interesting. Made me feel like I was back in school again :) Its been a long time since I've used my brain to think critically! I can't tell you all how much I miss school. I'm eager to be back. Who woulda known a few years ago when I was super stressing out in college?

I'm only just know starting to figure out the massive phenomenon that is myspace.com I'm sure you all know of it. Did it get crazy popular right after I left? Its kind of a weird blast from the past. I'm not on it yet (cant decide if I wanna be) but have searched and found people I haven't seen in over ten years! A little crazy. How much smaller the internet makes the world.

And speaking of small world? Can I just tell you guys? The craziest thing. One of my friends from PC TZ here that lived in my region but finished his contract back in December went home and completely randomly met my friend Judy (hey hun! you reading this?) from college at a lecture at Johns Hopkins. Wow. Intense.

Hey, sorry. I'm feeling a small brain drain. Maybe from not eating all day. Maybe from the excitement of my upcoming travels. I miss you guys. Write comments PLEASE! Email me, even little notes to say hi and let me know whats up with you! They make my day :) Will write more when I get back from Malawi, or maybe when I'm there if I can dig up an internet cafe.

Hey! Hope you guys liking the pics. Sorry if some not showing, you may have to refresh a few times... In any case, like I mentioned earlier, I'm in Mtwara town now (the biggest town in my region) doing a teacher seminar with other volunteers. Its 18 primary and secondary school teachers from the region and the main goal of the week is to introduce participatory approaches to teaching in general, but especially in teaching topics of HIV/AIDS and Life Skills (relationship, communication, and decision making skills). I need to admit that in my usual pessimistic way, I was nervous about how useful this seminar was going to be and whether or not the participants would really care. But it has turned out great! Things have been running smoothly for the most part (this IS still TZ.....) and the participants have shown great energy and interest during the sessions. Today was Day Four of Five. Tomorrow is therefore the last day and on Saturday I'm headed back to my village. Some mixed feelings with that since I DO miss my friends there and my house but at the same time, being in town with my volunteer friends, eating ice cream, taking showers, sleeping under a fan, watching music videos (American and East African), and doing internet daily has its perks. I have definitely grown to appreciate the smaller things in life here. The following will be a little random. It was just some things that in my village I jotted down to tell ya'll so I wont forget, so here goes:

New Anais Nin quote I really like: The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful that the risk it takes to blossom.

Only FIVE more months left! Time is simply flying. In two weeks I'm off to Malawi with Danielle and Erica where we'll horseback ride and snorkel while Danielle takes a course to be certified in scuba diving. After that we're off to Dar es Salaam for some 4th of July celebrations at the embassy; we've volunteered to sing both TZ and American national anthems, it should be fun. Then I'm free between then and July 18 and might go visit friends in other parts of the country or go hiking or something. July 18 is our PC Close of Service Conference which every volunteer goes through three months before they leave country. Its basically to talk to us about paperwork we have to do and re-adjustment back to life in America. Crazy stuff!

So I've mentioned this before, but I'm leaving here late Oct. Erica and I are planning on hitting up Europe but she has to be back by early Dec for a wedding. I also might go home but may be lured into travelling elsewhere with other friends. I'll DEFINITELY be back to the US by Christmas. I can't believe soon after I get back it will be 2007! A few people have been asking about my plans post return to the US. First off, I plan on EATING A LOT :) No big surprise there for those of you who know me well :) So besides eating, I want to visit friends (both ones from home and PC TZ ones), get used to the uber crazy-ness that is NYC and America (I'm telling you guys now, I'll be really shocked for a while when I first get back!), and ultimately look for a JOB. So long term plan is to work for a while (I'm thinking something along the lines of international health and working for NGOs or foundations) and then back to school. Not sure yet for what, but am really excited and eager to be a student again, not a teacher!

Some of you may remember that around this time last year I was chosen to help train the new group of PC health and environmental volunteers. I had a really really great time and was SO excited to return again this year but unfortunately, was not chosen :( This new group of volunteers (are any of you reading this?!) will arrive here in TZ mid June and finish training mid August. Then a large percentage of them will come live with some of us (maybe even ME!) to replace us at our sites after WE finish up in late Oct. Does that sort of make sense? Sorry for the awful English. But basically my training group's replacements are arriving soon and I may get a housemate for about two months! Another American to go through daily life in my village with! It will certainly be very interesting.

The reading continues! One day I will put up a list of my books read here, but I'm up to 74 so far! An awesome one I read recently was The Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman (see www.ritagoldengelman.com). Basically, the title says it all. The author is literally a nomad of sorts, living several months of the year in various places around the world. The book talks of some of her really very cool adventures (in places like Indonesia, the Galapagos Islands, Guatemala) and she is here in TZ right now for a conference! Danielle has invited her to come visit Mtwara town and region!! I really really hope she gets to. It would be incredible to get a chance to speak with her and show her around. Two books I've started reading are Fear of Flying by Erica Jong (Barnard alum?? I forget) and Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond (a really famous Pulitzer Prize winning book about how different societies have become what they are today. From Wikipedia - But the book is not merely an account of the past; it attempts to explain why Eurasian civilization, as a whole, has survived and conquered others, while refuting the belief that Eurasian hegemony is due to any form of Eurasian intellectual or moral superiority. Diamond argues that the gaps in power and technology between human societies do not reflect cultural or racial differences, but rather originate in environmental differences powerfully amplified by various positive feedback loops). If any of you guys have read either book, lemme know what you think of em!

I said I would talk a little about the use of coconut milk in food. I'm really lucky to live near the coast of TZ so palm trees and coconuts are abundant and heavily used in cooking foods like rice, soups, beans and etc. I had no idea what was involved in actually making coconut "milk" before coming here and thought one could just use the "juice" in a regular coconut. Wrong! One must first take a regular ripe coconut (nazi in Swahili, as opposed to dafu which is young coconut), crack it in half on a rock or hard surface, and then grate it against a special "chair" (I'm sitting on it in that picture, but its hard to tell). Then with the white powdery coconut grated pieces (surely there is a better way to say that! In swahili its chicha) one pours slightly warm water over it and squeeze the grated pieces. Now THAT squeezed liquid is the "milk" you cook with. Then the grated pieces are just dumped. Awesome, huh? Its a lotta work! I just recently bought a grating chair (really cheap, around 2 USD) but only cook with coconut occasionally since I cook for just one person and usually am not too particular about my food.

And SPEAKING of cooking, I've gotten really good at baking with charcoal! Long explanation short, I use two cooking " pot things" (no word in English cuz we don't have em but sufuria in Swahili), one inside the other, and a lid. Anyway, some things I now can bake from scratch are: brownies, corn bread, banana bread, coffee cake, and yellow cake! So awesome. I will definitely show you guys when I get home! I like to fool myself into thinking no more Betty Crocker cake-in-a-box for me, but I know I wont have the time to bake from scratch as often as I do here. And, unlike here, making things from scratch in the States is probably MORE expensive than buying the processed mix. Anyone know the answer?

Think thats all for now. Miss you guys tons, leave me comments, write emails to say hi! Hope you're having a great start to the summer! We're officially in "cold" season now with no more sweating for me at 6am and blankets at night, YAY!

Hey ya'll. Been forever. I know! Pole sana (sorry in Kiswahili). And the pics? Yeah, I know. I have no pictures for the longest time and then BOOM, five million. Its mostly cuz I'm in town for the week, which means lots of internet time and I get to rob photos off my friend Erica's digital camera and put them online. So sorry for the long download time and you may have to refresh this page a few times if some of the photos don't show up..... Before I go into stuff, let me first explain some of the photos. Sorry I didnt write an explanation immediately below each photo, that woulda taken even longer. Let me tell you, computers and the internet connection here in Mtwara town? Not so fast....

Okay, so here goes explanations of photos from the top down....

-Lucy and a GIANT sting ray at the Mtwara fish market/beach

-me and Lucy at the teacher seminar we are holding this week

-Danielle, Tony, and I at this fancy Mzungu (white, foreigner) restaurant in Mtwara by the beach; awesome sunset!

-okay these next two of the car/truck thing are in reverse order. A bunch of my friends and I were going into town after visiting another friend-Justin (check out his blog on the sidebar)- and our vehicle FLIPPED on its side!!! It was really pretty scary but we weren't hurt, just shocked. Then it took a whole bunch of guys to flip the car back up, like you see in the first picture.

-the last two photos in that entry are the bunch of us at Justin's school. In the top photo we stuffed ourselves into a random empty closet :) A bunch of us in the second pic from the left: Josh, Jen, Thais, Erica, me, Steph (my closest neighbor at site!!), and Marisa

-first pic in the next entry is Erica (you see her in the hat?! she kind of stands out a little, hehe) with a bunch of primary school students

-Josh, Justin, and I at our friend Cris's (Filipino Volunteer Services Abroad volunteer) house

-Erica and I at Cris's

-me grating a coconut for coconut milk to cook with! Totally cool and will explain in another entry

-Tony and I in the PC car on our way to Dar back in Feb for the Peer Support and Diversity meeting

-Cris and I cookin up a storm! It was for that party to welcome the new volunteer I mentioned two or three entries ago

-me, Amy, Danielle, and Erica in Dar es Salaam totally SCARFING down all you can eat ribs. That was the most amazing meal I had had in a LONG time!

-Erica, Josh, and I with the Ambassador way back when

-Matt, me, Brian, and Erica on Zanzibar back during New Years; check out the lovely sandy beach, beautfiful sky, and green waters!

-Erica's living room and house in Chiungutwa (20km from my village and basically my second home); check out the map - such a staple of PC volunteer homes :)

-me and Erica on Zanzibar wearing her super diva sunglasses during New Years

Sorry, am feeling uncreative today. So I'm back in town. Got in yesterday after teaching math in the morning. Its not so bad these days. Im encouraged by the few really good and motivated students that I have (unfortunately they are mostly boys, the girl students aren't as high achieving as I would want...) and try not to get hung up over the really not such great students (like the ones who cant multiply 5 and 5...). Everyone knows that in the end, only a few will make it anyway. The secondary school system has two filters: a national exam at the end of Forms II and IV that determine whether or not you continue on. I've mentioned to Tanzanians before that in the States, we dont really have national exams or national syllabi for that matter and they're pretty surprised! Could you imagine if all the students in all of America had to follow one set of syllabi? It would be chaos like no other I think.

What else is new? Not that much. Gearing up for my final half year left! My health clinic got HIV/AIDS testing and counseling (a huge feat for a village! its mostly available in towns) and ARVs (anti retrovirals or HIV/AIDS drugs) are being brought to my clinic these days by folks from the Clinton Foundation (yes, THAT Clinton). Unfortunately, not as many people are testing as we would like. The big issue with HIV/AIDS and a major reason why it continues to spread is the huge stigma that still surrounds the topic among Tanzanians. Its definitely getting better and strides are being made in large scale efforts but people are still shy to talk about it, to talk about the biggest spreader of it (sex), and misconceptions abound about people living with the illness and general facts about the illness itself (how its transmitted and what not). The efforts I speak of include media exposure on the radio, on TV, in the newspapers and through NGO funded health magazines (really well put together and popular among TZ-ans). On a "smaller" scale, billboards and sign boards (sometimes no more than a few painted planks of wood nailed together) are put up in towns and villages with messages ranging from "Youth, let us get together to educate about HIV/AIDS" to "AIDS Kills" (uh....not a good message to send or the way to go, but I see it...) to "Don't discrimate against people living with HIV/AIDS" and etc. There are also the large billboards that promote Salama Condoms with the slogan "If you really love him/her you will protect him/her." Oh and speaking of condoms, I often feel like they are the best hope for slowing down the spread of HIV/AIDS, BUT....they are not used nearly as much as they are in say, the States. There are several reasons for this and even when they ARE being used, sometimes they are used incorrectly (wearing more than one condom at the same time, using cooking oil as lubrication, re-using condoms). Some of the reasons for the lack of condom usage also go back to shyness in talking about sex and cost. For example, in my small village, only a few stores sell condoms and in a place where EVERYONE knows EVERYONE, walking into a place and buying condoms can be a bit embarassing. In terms of the cost, a packet of condoms (3 in a packet) cost 100 Tsh. Thats like TEN CENTS! But 100 Tsh can also buy you some tomatoes or dried fish or cooking oil or kerosene or a little bit of flour. So if it comes down to feeding yourself or your family or buying some condoms, sometimes the stomach comes first....

Of course as health volunteers, we're trying to change all of that by promoting safer sex practices (and in some cases abstinence) and speaking freely about condoms and HIV/AIDS as a topic in general. Like I've said before, its sometimes hard to see any changes (which can be really frustrating) but like my friends sometimes say, its better than nothing, huh? And the issue is huge. It is boundless and endless. I mean, I have to admit, some of us (myself included..) came here to PC, to Africa feeling like we can SAVE THE WORLD! We quickly realize that we can't but we somehow do as much as we can......even if its not enough or doesn't seem like that much.

Sorry to make this short, but I have to run now! Hope ya'll doing well and gearing up for spring! I've started wearing sweatshirts in the morning and late evening! Awesome :)