We had a PTC (Pharmacy & Therapeutics Committee) meeting today. All hospitals are required to have them at least monthly, but the last one was in October. The chief medical officer attended as well as the hospital manager and various department heads. It's an opportunity for everybody to sit down and hash out any issues at the hospital. The pharmacy department brought up the problem with the fridges as well as doctors not writing diagnoses on scripts. Without them, we can't properly dose patients. Also, not all of them are following treatment guidelines nor are they aware of what we have in our formulary. Mount Ayliff is a level one hospital which means they carry the most basic drugs. The doctors are all general practitioners which limits their prescribing rights. Medications which require a specialist are out of their realm. The issue of the long queues was also brought up. Ideally the hospital wants to get rid of the ARV clinic entirely and just have patients come to the dispensary for their meds, since many of them are being treated for other chronic conditions anyway. As it stands, the ARV clinic functions separately from the rest of the pharmacy. The patients have their own charts there, and their ARV meds are often not listed on the out-patient charts when they pick up their other medications. This is dangerous because of the potential drug interactions, especially since there's not even a pharmacist working in the clinic. Hopefully, if I'm able to get RxSolution up and running, this will solve these problems as all of the patients' medications and information will be on one page.

Speaking of which, Sandile was able to get in touch with Jean Pierre, the head of MSH in South Africa about the issue of computers. I then spoke with Jean Pierre myself, and he said that MSH would provide them. Yay! Now I just have to wait to hear back from him about when exactly they will be delivered. I'm hoping they'll arrive by the end of February. That'll give me three months to get things up and running.

As for my World Map, I'm going to start the grid this weekend. In order to get funding though, I had to fill out a PCPP. Since I'm only asking for a little bit of money (less than $100 bucks) the turn around time is much quicker since it doesn't have to be posted online to elicit donations. I can get the cash from the country fund, which is that extra bit of money from other PCPPs that have received more money than their estimated budget.

I went to visit the principal today of the appropriately named, Mt. Ayliff Hospital School. As it turns out, it's not just for children of hospital staff, but for the entire community. It functions as an elementary and middle school. There are two other elementary/middle schools in town and one high school. At the Mt. Ayliff Hospital School, there are about 700 students and over 60 in each classroom. Directly adjacent to this school (it's literally within 100 feet) is the Nolitha Special School for physically and mentally disabled children. There's a huge contrast between the two schools in terms of infrastructure. The MAHS is small and doesn't even have toilets. It's made up of four or five lonely dilapidated buildings where as the NSS is beautifully ordained in blue paint and made of brick. It's about the size of my high school, even though there are less than 200 students there. I'm fairly certain the NSS was a gift from some rich white person while the MAHS was initially designed to educate children that were bedridden in the hospital. It clearly outgrew its capacity and had to relocate elsewhere.

I stopped by the NSS first as it was closer to me, but it was gated and I couldn't find anybody to let me in, so then I proceeded to the MAHS. The principal seemed to really like my World Map idea and wants me to involve the students if I can. I could somehow incorporate it into a geography lesson or arts and crafts. Honestly, I think the students at the MAHS would benefit more from the World Map anyway than at the NSS. I've already done the World Map once, so I'm hoping the second time will be easier. Last time it took me almost three months to complete, but that's because it was so hot and I could only work for a few hours a day. Even at high noon here, it's sunny and warm, but neither hot nor humid. I'm still trying to figure out how I can fit it into my schedule if I'm to be at the hospital Monday to Friday. If I only have the weekends to work on it, it'll take me much longer to complete. I wanna at least get the grid done this weekend. I'm still waiting to hear back from PC anyway about whether or not they can give me the money for paints. I've learned from my mistakes too, so now I know what to do differently this time. For starters, I'm going to paint the whole thing blue first (for the oceans) so I don't have to color around the countries later. I was advised to do this before I started last time, but I was so eager to get working on it that I just chose to ignore it. I didn't realize how difficult it was going to be to color the ocean, especially around the tiny islands. Second, I'm not going to label any of the countries until they're all on the map. Last time, some of the names ran into other countries so I had to repaint them. I couldn't even fit all the ones in Europe. Third, I'm going to buy less paint. Last time I had to throw out a whole bunch of it because it went bad so quickly. I think it had to do with the humidity.

I wanted to make the map slightly larger than the last one, but due to the size of the wall, it's actually going to be the same size - about 2 meters high and 4 meters long. I'm excited to get started on it because at least now I have something to do on the weekends.

The Peace Corps has three goals:

1) Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.2) Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.3) Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.

What most people don't realize is that many volunteers, with a few exceptions, will spend about 95% of their time on goals two and three. To me, a successful volunteer is somebody who is well integrated into his or her community, not necessarily one that has a lot of projects going on. It's ironic that I say this since I spent most of my PC experience worrying about work. I didn't realize how important goals two and three were until now. Yes, it was annoying being called a Yovo, but I kinda loved the attention. I was easily the most popular person in my village. My CA always joked that if we ran against each other for mayor, I would beat him out. PCR is different in that there's a clearly defined task for the volunteer, and thus now, 95% of my time is spent on goal one and less on goals two and three.

For the time being, I've been pretty busy at the hospital. The day goes by quickly, but when the weekend comes, time drags on. It's really hard to find things to do here without a car or a motorcycle. I'm surprised PCVs aren't given bikes in South Africa. I would love to have a bike here cause then I could just ride for miles and admire all the scenery. Most people hitch hike if they wanna go anywhere, and unfortunately, I'm forbidden to do that. Besides, even if I could, I won't hitch hike in the states, so I'm certainly not going to do it here. The problem is though, since most people hitch a ride, the taxis take longer to fill. Next weekend I'm thinking about going to Umtata to see the Nelson Mandela Museum, but again, it may be an all day affair even though it's only two hours away.

I didn't realize how much I would miss the Peace Corps community here. Including myself, I believe there are three PCRVs currently serving in South Africa. One is in Cape Town, and David, the one I did my training with, is in Kimberly. Both are far from me. A new group of trainees just arrived in South Africa last week, but they won't move to their sites until probably around April. When Sandile came to see me at the hospital, he mentioned he was doing some site development in the area, so who knows, maybe I'll get a post mate in the next few months. It seems moot though since by then I'll be close to being done. I really would like to meet some of the volunteers here just to see how they live and what their day to day activities are like. All those in the Eastern Cape are about a six hour drive from me, so I might have better luck in the KZN. In the mean time, I'm gonna have to start thinking about some secondary projects to keep me entertained on the weekend. There are two elementary schools not too far from my home, so I'm going to go check them out on Monday. One of them is for special needs children and the other one caters to children whose parents work at the hospital. I'm thinking I might do another World Map. I had fun with the last one I did, so why not do it again? I have to speak with the director of the school first to make sure it's okay and look into funding to buy paint and brushes.

Whenever I have any free time, I like to hang out in the pediatric ward. Although, it's a little depressing being there. For starters, most of the children don't speak English and my Xhosa goes as far as saying hello, asking people their name, how they're doing, and their age. Secondly, most of the patients are malnourished, septic, orphaned with HIV/AIDS, burn or rape victims, or have cellulitis. It's probably a good thing I never became a pediatrician. I've seen enough medical shows to know I would not want to become a physician. Despite their illnesses though, the children in the ward are fairly happy. It's probably the only time in their lives they've been looked after and cared for. Some of them have been there for months. There's a social worker at the hospital who's trying to figure out where to place the orphaned children. Since most of them are infected with HIV/AIDS, it makes it more difficult because of compliance issues.

I've finished entering most of the drugs into RxSolution, just in time too because a massive order came in today. They come every other week, and there are at least 30 or 40 boxes full of drugs. I updated them all into the computer and afterwards, I sifted through all the pharmacy's paper work. Even though their drugs are organized, their requisitions, orders, and invoices are all over the place. I spent most of the day separating them by ward, month, and year, and then did the same for all the controlled drug substances. Some of them hadn't been filed since 2008.

Last week we started up the "Best Practice Meetings" again, and I argued that it probably wouldn't be necessary to do them weekly. Well, I was wrong. There wasn't a single ward today that didn't have at least five expired drugs. To be fair, a lot of them were expiring at the end of this month, but some went as far back as September of last year. I don't know why we didn't see them last week. In addition, everybody loves to place food and drinks in the same fridges as the medications. They're not supposed to do this, but I understand that there's a lack of fridges available. One ward had sodas and other beverages literally sitting on top of other drugs. The drinks leaked out all over the medications and we had to throw them out. So of course, I had to be that asshole that posted signs on all the fridges that said, "Please don't place food and beverages in the same fridge as medications." You should've seen the looks people gave me. I even tried to compromise and told people that if they couldn't find another fridge to put their food and drinks in, then at least separate them from the medications. Don't mix them together or put them on top of each other. I'm curious to see if next week my signs will still be posted or if people even bothered to follow the directions.

One of my tasks while I'm here is to "develop a plan to limit queues and control backlogs," but I'm not really sure how to do that. The hospital is understaffed. There are about eight physicians, but they don't all work at the same time. I spend most of my time in the pharmacy located right next to the out patient department. There are always so many people there waiting to see the doctors. Some of them wait all day and arrive as early as 8 AM. However, usually by 4 PM, most of the patients have been seen. In the ARV clinic, there are also long queues, but I've spent a few hours there and the two pharmacy assistants that work there run through the patients fairly quickly. The people are there just to pick up their meds after they've already seen the nurses. Despite the long waits, compared to my health center in Benin, this hospital runs much more smoothly. They're clearly busy, they have a decent amount of equipment, and plenty of nurses. Unfortunately it's difficult to hold onto physicians because we're in a rural area with not much to do. There's nothing I can do about that though and I suppose if the hospital is having a hard time keeping the staff, then they should provide more incentives for the workers. Compared to most of the nurses here, I have pretty decent accommodations. They usually just get a tiny room, not an entire house. It also could be though because I'm "white" and they want me to stay. Supposedly an audiologist will be moving in with us soon and another PCRV next door as well, who will be functioning as a dietician.

Adjacent to the hospital is a smaller health clinic which functions separately. All patients are actually supposed to go there first before being admitted to the hospital. There are no doctors at the clinic, just nurses, but they are allowed to start patients on ARVs or anti TB drugs if necessary. They also do pre and post natal consultations, family planning, baby weighings, attend to minor injuries, and handle any chronic ailments, like hypertension or diabetes. To help limit the long lines and waiting at the hospital, patients are slowly being referred to the clinic to get their meds. I'm almost done imputing all the drugs into RxSolution, so I just hung around the pharmacy today to see how things are run. Patients come to the dispensary with their charts after seeing the doctors. The pharmacist (or the assistant) then just pulls whatever drugs the doctor prescribed and gives them to the patients after explaining the directions and writing it on a label. The very last person to come to the pharmacy today was an eight year old girl who was raped on her way home from school by an old man. She arrived with her grandmother, a cop, and a social worker. She was started on post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) for HIV/AIDS and given lamivudine and zidovudine. All patients that are given PEP must be logged in a book. Many of them are rape victims, and I was shocked at how young some of them are. There was one girl who was only five years old. WTF?! What the hell is the world coming to?

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision coming here so soon. It's boring and lonely at times without my dog or petits to keep me company. But then I look outside my window and think to myself, "How can you be so upset living in a place so beautiful?" Then I also ask myself, "Well, if you were living in America what would you be doing?" And I remind myself that even at home, I'd probably have nothing to do either. At least now I'm working again.

Speaking of which, there was supposed to be another PCRV/pharmacist stationed at the Holy Cross Hospital in Flagstaff not too far from me. That was originally where I was supposed to go, but at the time, the accommodations weren't ready yet, so they sent me to Mount Ayliff instead. I noticed that the position has been reopened, however, on the PCR website (and now there are some PCR positions that are open to non-RPCVs too granted they have at least ten years of work experience). I emailed Sandile and told him I wouldn't mind helping out the Holy Cross Hospital either as it's only about an hour away. I can't do much at Mount Ayliff without that second computer. I'm almost done logging in all the drugs and it shouldn't take me long to teach the staff how to use the system either. The pharmacy isn't as much of a mess as I was led to believe, and I'm concerned that there won't be enough work for me to do later on. Even if I wanted to, I can't practice pharmacy here because the laws are different. I'd have to get certified by the South African Pharmacy Council first.

I climbed the mountain in my backyard today with two petits and my housemate. From the top, there's a great view of Mount Ayliff and the surrounding areas. Here are some photos:

Notice the Project Red Africa shirt I'm wearing? I used to love them and bought a whole bunch from the Gap. I'm not sure if it's still an ongoing campaign or not. They were not cheap either. I think one t-shirt was close to $30, but supposedly a whopping 10% of the proceeds went to fight AIDS in Africa. South Africa has one of the highest incidences of HIV/AIDS in the world. The only t-shirts I brought with me were the Project Red ones, not only to show my support (although I doubt the South Africans know the significance), but also because they're light weight.

The weather was supposed to be sunny this weekend, so I made plans to go to the beach. The nearest nicest one is Port St. John's, about two hours away on the map. Without having a car though, I have to rely on public transportation, so a simple two hour trip can take the entire day.

In Mount Ayliff, there's a taxi rank with minivans that go to the surrounding areas. Some of them go as far as Durban and Johannesburg. These taxis are much nicer than the ones in Benin. For starters, there's only one person per seat and animals and live stock are not allowed. They even have seat belts, although almost nobody uses them. To get to Port St. John's, I have to take three separate taxis - one from Mt. Ayliff to Kokstad, another from Kokstad to Lusikisiki, and then finally Lusikisiki to Port St. John's. The problem is the taxis won't leave the rank until they're completely full and depending on the time of day and the day of the week, this could take several hours. In Benin it was similar, but the cars seated fewer so they left quicker. I rarely had to wait more than 30 mins. to go anywhere, and in the off chance the cars did not fill up before leaving, they would just pick up passengers along the way. It's not like that here. The taxi has to be full before leaving. Thus, Kokstad, which is only 30 mins. away, took me an hour to get to because I had to wait for the taxi to fill up. I left relatively early too, around 8 AM. Once I got to Kokstad, I transferred to another 15 person taxi (incidentally there's only the one size) and then waited for that one to fill up. After about an hour, only three people were in the vehicle, including myself. I wasn't in any rush nor did I have any other plans for the day, so I could've sat in the vehicle for longer, but I got restless. I decided to get out and explore Kokstad instead (And honestly, at the rate the taxi was filling up, I don't think I would've gotten to Port St. John's until night fall - remember that I had to wait for another taxi in Lusikisiki too - and wouldn't have had that much time to go swimming nor see the town. Plus I was concerned about not being able to find a taxi back the next day).

There's not a whole lot to see nor do in Kokstad, but there are many more shops than in Mount Ayliff. They have a shop called "Game," which is actually owned by Walmart. They sell lots of random items for cheap. I went inside the pharmacy chain, Clicks, to see what it was like. Oddly enough, they keep all their OTCs behind the counter. I found a loofah there which really made my day. (That's one of the aspects of PC I love - how easily excited I am. In America it's so easy to take things for granted because practically anything we want is available to us in the blink of an eye.). The loofah and the shower curtain I bought earlier combined with hot running water will make bucket showering much more enjoyable.

Kokstad has a lot of American type food. I saw a KFC, McDonalds, Steers, and many restaurants that sell wraps and burgers and what not. I was tempted to get a chicken salad with mushrooms, avocado, and bacon bits, but I figured I should enjoy South African food while I'm here. It's actually quite tasty - so much better than Beninese pate. I bought a plate of samp with some beef and veggies and then headed back to the taxi rank a little after noon. When I got there, I noticed that the same taxi for Lusikisiki still hadn't left yet. It had been over two hours. I find the taxi drivers here to be much more pleasant than the ones in Benin. They're actually very helpful and not trying to scam me with ridiculous prices. The taxi ranks are also much more organized. It clearly says where each vehicle is going on the wall.

I decided to purchase an MTN sim card. Apparently they have this unlimited 24 hour data plan for only 50 rand. Maybe that way I can finish downloading Shameless. I'd hate to have to wait to get back to the states to do it, and I don't wanna bring my laptop with me on vacation to Durban, Cape Town, and Victoria Falls. The catch is though after 150 MB of downloaded material (which isn't that much) the download speed is capped at 128 kps, so I still won't be able to finish downloading the remaining eleven episodes. For the mean time I have some other TV shows to keep me busy. Before being used though, each sim card has to be registered through this South African program called RICA, which is used to prevent fraud. Each SIM card is linked to an individual user using some form of identification and proof of address. It's a good idea, but it's also inconvenient as I still haven't been able to register my MTN card since the system hasn't been working the last few days. At least my Vodacom phone is working.

I've been trying to learn some Xhosa, but it's difficult to get the clicks down. Plus, it's so much easier when most people speak English. At this point, I'm able to greet people, ask them their name and age and how they're doing. I've also learned the names of some foods. I asked for an South African Xhosa name at work, and of course, they give me one I can't pronounce - Qaqabimle. It means "bright" (like intelligent not like the sun). The "Qa" is a hard click and the "Xho" is a softer click. There's also an "Nqa" sound which is a soft and a hard click and then another click sound for "c" and "k." It's really neat listening to them talk, and yes, the clicks are important because without them, the context changes. South Africa has eleven national languages - Afrikaans, English, Ndebele, North Sotho, Setswana, South Sotho, Swati, Tsonga, Venda, Xhosa, and Zulu.

I feel a little guilty not trying to integrate myself more and learn the local language, but again, English is very widely spoken. In Benin, I learned Goun/Fon because it was a necessity at times, especially at the market, but I always communicated with my petits in French because number one, it was the only nationally recognized language, and number two, if you didn't know French, you were pretty much stuck in village for the rest of your life. I wonder how it works here then when people have to relocate. I noticed that many of the elders don't speak nor understand English. I've found though that most South Africans know at least three languages - English, their native language, and then another tribal one. All schools are taught in English and some in Afrikaans. I wonder if there's any resentment when South Africans learn Afrikaans, the language of their oppressors.

I'm trying to restart something that was done (and then stopped) by the pharmacy staff a few months ago called "Best Practice Meetings." Every Friday we go to the different wards to make sure that things are running smoothly. We check to make sure that drugs are properly labeled, that they aren't expired, and that patients are receiving appropriate medications and doses for their illnesses. The pharmacy team (which consists of myself and the two other pharmacists) usually does this with other department heads, but inevitably people forget, meetings come up, or people just get lazy. Eventually this whole practice was stopped, but it's worthwhile to start up again...so we did today.

I've been rather busy the last few days organizing all the drugs that I haven't even had an official tour of the hospital, nor have I had the opportunity to meet everybody. This way I got to do both and check up on how things were running. There were few problems in the peds, ER, female, and maternity wards. I was interested to see what meds were locked up there. The hospital doesn't carry many "heavy hitters," just morphine and codeine. I find it odd that they also lock up drugs like fluconazole (an antifungal), risperdal (an antipsychotic), and promethazine (an antihistamine). The male ward was kind of a mess. We came across many drugs which were expired (most of them insulin) since August of last year. They also keep their food in the same fridge as the medications, which technically they're not supposed to do. In an old box of metformin, a diabetic drug, we found a roach living inside.

I'm not sure if it's necessary to do these Best Practice Meetings every week as I don't think much will change weekly. The same drugs will still be there next week. We decided though that in the beginning, we're still going to meet once a week and then have the meetings monthly if things go smoothly.

Last night, I found such a steal on airline tickets that I just went ahead and bought them. I'm planning to take a week off at the end of March. I'm going to spend three nights in Durban, followed by three nights in Cape Town, and then two nights in Livingstone Zambia to see Victoria Falls. I was able to do the whole Durban to Cape Town to Livingstone to Durban loop for only $600 via South African Airlines and Vayama. I heard the falls are nicer on the Zimbabwe side, but it was also $300 more to fly into that airport. I'm just worried about visas now though. I'm sure they have a Zambian embassy in Pretoria, but I won't be there anytime soon. I'm told I can just buy the visa once I arrive at the airport, and then buy another one for Zimbabwe and see the falls on the other side. I hope it won't be too cold when I go. I didn't bring much warm clothing with me, just a pair of jeans a hoodie.

I'm usually not one to spend money on travel. I prefer to buy things as they last me longer, but after doing PC, I realize that material possessions aren't really that important anymore. Besides, when else am I going to be in this area? I don't plan on staying any place fancy, just hostels. Although, I would like to eat some good food. I haven't done my research yet though, so I'm not really sure what there is to do in any of those cities, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. I've heard Victoria Falls is absolutely breathtaking.

I think I'm working too hard. It's actually not going to take me as long as I thought to catalog all these drugs, so I'm trying to space it out little by little so that I don't run out of things to do too quickly. RxSolution seems to be running without any problems, and believe it or not, the IT person for the hospital came today to check on the one broken computer. I'm surprised she arrived so quickly since we only just called her yesterday. She was able to get the broken computer to work again, but as it turns out, it's too old to even run the RxSolution software (it's still using 3.5 inch floppy disks). Thus, if we want a new one, we have to request it from the South African government, which who knows how long will take? I'm only going to be here until June.

Sandile actually came to see me today as he was doing some site development in the Eastern Cape. He only stayed for about five minutes though because then he was off to Kimberly to see David, the other PCRV. I told him the frustrations I was having with RxSolution, the computer (or lack thereof) and MSH/SPS. As it turns out though, MSH/SPS promised him that they would be bringing a new computer to the hospital, but it looks like they reneged on that too. He's going to speak with them again on Monday, and meanwhile, I'm going to see if there's anything PC can do. I don't have the time to write a PCPP or anything, but Sandile told me that in some instances, PC will grant computers to PCVs if it's for a project (like a girls camp or something), and well, this will certainly be a big one for me. I know PC is not in the habit of giving out freebies, but I'm certain the hospital will truly benefit from it. I mean, c'mon, they're still doing everything by pen and paper! Plus, PC is all about sustainability, and this way, I'm not only giving them a computer, but also the tools necessary to use it once I'm gone.

I found a great place right near the hospital that sells some killer South African food. It's only 20 rand, and the plate is absolutely ginormous. Sometimes I'm so full from it that I don't even eat dinner. The best part is there's meat - lots of it! I was honestly surprised by how much food it was the first time I got it. A plate like that would've cost me a fortune in Benin. I choose from either chicken or beef and then it always comes with mashed butternut squash, cabbage, and then my choice of either pap or samp. The first time I had samp I was not a big fan, but this samp is really good. It's mixed with beans and covered with some kind of sauce. The woman who makes it is only there Monday-Friday though and leaves before dinner, so nights and weekends I have to cook for myself. I haven't made much thus far cause having a fridge is wonderful. I can make one big meal and then eat it again for the next two or three nights. I've made some mac & cheese from scratch and some pasta with spaghetti sauce. I can get bread here too, along with PB&J so if I'm lazy, I'll just do that instead.

I'm the type of person that enjoys productivity. I hate wasting time and sitting around all day doing nothing. Thus, I can't tell you how good it feels to finally be working again and doing something useful.

I spoke with the IT guy from MSH yesterday upset that empty promises were made about RxSolution being up and running. Later that evening, he emailed me a step by step installation guide with screen shots, which I was able to follow and successfully install RxSolution on the one running computer. Yes! One point for me! Unfortunately though, I still need a second computer to perform backups in case this one crashes, and to print labels. One step at a time though. Now that the program is running, I have to go in and manually enter everything including drug inventory, doctors, patients, suppliers, purchase orders, and receipts. The most important thing though is getting all the drugs counted first. I can't dispense anything anyway until I get that second computer.

It took me practically the whole day to catalog about 100 drugs. All of them had already been counted on paper, so I just had to enter them into the computer. Unfortunately though, many of them weren't listed so I also had to key in some of them. I'm about one third of the way through.

So MSH/SPS kinda left me high and dry with this whole RxSolution thing. They told me that first, the program would be installed already on the pharmacy computer when I got there (which it isn't) and if it wasn't, that somebody would meet me this week to install it (which they aren't). At one point the hospital was using RxSolution, but the computer crashed and it hasn't been fixed since. On the other working computer, RxSolution is installed, but it won't run and it's an older version. I tried uninstalling and then reinstalling the software that was given to me, but of course it didn't work. Sandile called me later during the day to check up on me and I told him the problem I was having, to which he informed me that MSH/SPS jumped on the Peace Corps bandwagon unofficially later on in the game. No contract was every signed with them. Mount Ayliff was the one who originally requested a volunteer and the prior PC SA Country Director knew about this project that MSH/SPS was implementing in the Eastern Cape and thought, "Hey, why not involve them too and kill two birds with one stone?" Despite what I've been told, I doubt anybody from MSH/SPS has even been out here. Thus, rather than spend the whole day trying to get this program to work, I concentrated my efforts in the anti-retroviral clinic instead.

The hospital has two dispensing areas - the main dispensary that deals with chronic medications and the second which works strictly with HIV/AIDS meds. The main dispensary seems to be functioning pretty well. There are four people that work there, two pharmacists and two pharmacy assistants. The drugs are fairly organized, but all the record keeping, ordering, drug inventory, and dispensing is still being done by pen and paper. The ARV dispensary, on the other hand, needs a little more work. Technically a pharmacist is supposed to be working there full time, but there isn't one (and actually, my job description says I'm supposed to spend most of my time there). The ARV pharmacy is open Monday to Thursday and patients filter in periodically during the day to pick up their prescriptions. Some of them are new patients, but about 95% of them have been on ARVs for years. Currently they have a running stock of lamivudine (3TC), stavudine (d4T), abacavir (ABC), tenofovir (TDF), zidovudine (AZT), nevirapine (NVP), efavirenz (EFV), and lopinavir/ritonavir (LPV/r). Guidelines suggest starting patients on two NRTIs and one NNRTI (or one PI if untolerated). Thus, most people receive 3TC, d4T, and EFV. However, the drugs have many side effects and patients sometimes switch regimens. Most of them are available generically, but even still, they're very expensive (in South Africa, however, all patients on ARVs receive them for free). Yet, even on my first day of work, I found a way to save the hospital thousands of dollars (or rands).

In the US, most drugs are prescribed in month intervals (i.e. 30, 60, or 90 day supply), and that's how many drugs are packaged. In South Africa with government hospitals, everything is prescribed on a four week basis (i.e. 28, 56, or 84 day supply). The rationale behind this is it makes it easier for patients to remember their follow up appointments if it's on the same day of the week each month. Almost all the ARVs, however, come prepacked in 30 day supply. What the hospital has been doing is giving out a one month supply of medication, but the patients will always have left over pills if they're being compliant with their meds and coming to their appointments on time. Two pharmacists ago, the patients would just keep their extra meds, but the problem with that is, they'll eventually accumulate enough medications where they won't even have to come in anymore. Then the last pharmacist changed the policy so that all the leftover meds would be collected (in order to determine compliance) and then discarded. To me that seemed extremely wasteful because the pills can't be redispensed and have to be thrown out. So then I proposed just repackaging everything into 28 day supply so no meds would be wasted. This made much more sense to me. The argument was made, however, that the extra pills might be beneficial to some patients in case they lose one or something. While that's a valid point, I rationalized that most patients who have been on these meds have been taking them for years and understand the importance of taking them on time. If they miss a dose or two it won't kill them, and if they are in fact being compliant and coming to their appointments as scheduled, they should never be without drugs because their last dose will fall on the date of their next rendez-vous. Of course, prepackaging everything is much easier said than done and took practically the entire day to do, especially with no machine. For those who are mathematically challenged, every fourteenth prepack of 28 produced another fifteenth prepack that would've just been thrown away. When you're prepacking 200 or 300 bottles, that adds up to a lot of pills and a lot of money.

I made friends with a few petits around here who happen to be the children of one of the woman I work with. They invited me over today for dinner to eat "African Salad" (um-voo-boh in their language). It's made with pap (um-poo-too) and sour milk (ah-mah-see). I was a little hesitant to try it because of the sour milk part. All they do is buy some milk and then just let it sit out in the sun for a day or two. I tried it alone, and it was not very good. Together, the um-poo-too and ah-mah-see make um-voo-boh, which reminded me a lot of cottage cheese. Here's what it looks like:

Um-poo-too (pap) Um-voo-boh ("African Salad")

My homologue at the hospital, I suppose, would be the pharmacist who's been working there for about a year. Her name is Ongama. She's really chill and much more personable than my last h'log in Benin. She'll be leaving soon though for maternity leave and won't return until July. The other pharmacist I work with, Sabelo, is a CSP and my housemate. He'll be taking over for Ongama during her absence and will be here until at least December. My supervisor then, who approves all my vacation leave, would be the temporary manager of the hospital, Mr. Magula, who is currently filling in for the normal hospital manager who is on leave. I asked Mr. Magula today for some "extra accouterments" for my home, principally a shower curtain, a microwave, and a sofa. It's kinda funny to me that they have a bathtub here with no shower. That's probably why they didn't think it necessary to install a shower curtain. But it seems awfully wasteful for me to take a bath everyday. Every once in a while is nice to relax, but often times when I take a bath, I don't feel clean afterwards. I'm just sitting in my dirty bath water for 30 mins. So instead, I've been bucket showering (and when I told my coworkers this they all looked at me like a neanderthal), but the water then gets all over the place. So I told Mr. Magula that the shower curtain was the number one priority, followed by the sofa, and then the microwave. Immediately after I told him this, he had someone come to my home to see about the shower curtain and they said they would have it installed the next day (it pays to be "white"). The other two might take a little bit longer, but he said they are on order. Unfortunately I've used up all of my settling in allowance by now. Otherwise, I'd just buy them myself.

The weather fluctuates here quite a bit. During the day, it's sunny and crisp, and at night, it rains most of the time. It's very comfortable though and I find myself not needing a fan as much as I thought, even when I go to bed. I'm actually a little bit cold in the mornings. And just now, as I'm sitting here writing this, the power went out from a thunder storm. Good thing I brought a head lamp with me.

I took a walk downtown today to see what was available around here. I discovered two supermarkets with fresh fruits, veggies, dairy, and all sorts of meats, a few ATMs, several hardware stores, a clothing store, a dozen or so mom and pop shops selling the exact same thing, a taxi station, and this place:

And yet, there's no Internet here.

I had a few other items I wanted to buy with my readjustment allowance, including a hammer and some nails to hang up my mosquito net. There's no malaria where I am, but unfortunately, the mosquitoes are still plentiful. Every night I kill at least ten of them, and I don't want to have to douse myself with DEET every night before bed. What I didn't notice until just recently is that there are very few flies around. This improves my quality of life that much more as I don't have to be extra careful about covering my food all the time. Plus it's nice to be able to sit outside without them swarming. I've seen a few dogs around the neighborhood, all of them much bigger than Rex. I kinda miss the chickens, goats, and pigs running around all the time. There's so much farmland here that most of them are confined within barbed wire and electric fences. I've even seen several horses and cows.

I stopped by the supermarket to pick up a few groceries, but of course, I dunno how to cook anything except what I made in Benin. Grocery shopping here is like grocery shopping in the US. It's nice that I have a fridge now because I can buy milk and yogurt and it won't go bad. Plus, I can use the fridge to store all my leftovers now that I have no more petits around. In terms of produce, I saw a lot of onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes (all staples in Benin), green peppers, bananas, grapes, cabbage, peaches, plums, and a whole bunch of butternut squash. I bought one just for shits and giggles to put in my spaghetti tonight, but I've never cooked with one before so I have no idea how to prepare it. I'm surprised there's no tomato sauce here, like the kind you put on pasta. However, I did find tomato paste (and incidentally enough, "tomato sauce" here is ketchup). I should probably learn how to cook raw chicken, beef, and pork. In Benin, I could find all these things pre-cooked for me and I would just add them to the sauce for flavor.

I kinda miss being the center of attention. When I walked around, nobody said anything to me. Although, several people did ask me what I was doing here as they'd never seen me in town before. I doubt there are many Asian people in Mount Ayliff, but I did see quite a few Indian people and Middle Easterners, mostly running the shops.

Here are some photos of my site (will post more later).

Tiny little villages in the mountains! They even have a peds department!

Pretty green mountains! The view from my backyard.

I made it!

It goes without saying that the five months I spend in South Africa will be very different from the two years I spent in Benin. In terms of economic development, South Africa wins hands down. Everybody talks about how "rural" Mount Ayliff is, and while it is surrounded by nothing but mountains and greenery, everybody still manages to have running water and electricity. I have yet to see a single mud hut or dirt road. It's hard to compare the two experiences because they're both so different. South Africa to me isn't really like Africa because everybody speaks English and almost everything is available here. I didn't realize how much I miss village life style though. I'm more situated in a town than a village. I don't get stared, pointed at, or get called "white person" wherever I go. There are almost no petits to be found. I actually have a supermarket where I can buy produce, and even better, a fridge to keep it cold in! My house has four bedrooms and a living room, which I was supposed to have all to myself, but then there was not enough housing for the hospital staff. That's fine. It's not like I was going to use all the rooms anyway, but I'm not sure how comfortable I'll be living with somebody again after being on my own for two years. It's like having a college roommate all over again. Whatever. As long as he does his share around the house, I don't mind. I have a toilet (that flushes) and a bathtub, but no shower. I have hot running water, but odds are I'll be bucket showering to conserve water. I've got a stove with an oven, but no microwave. This place reminds me so much of Kayenta, AZ where I did my IHS rotation from the housing, to the hospital, to the surroundings, to the living situation, and to the local shops.

This morning I got to meet some of the other doctors, nurses, and administrative staff working at the hospital. There's a maternity here as well as a radiation unit, a dentist, and an emergency department. Doctors are also on-call 24/7 to see patients for whatever reason. Even this morning when I went in at 8, there were at least 30 people waiting. This new job with the PC will be very different as I actually have a designated place I need to be everyday, rather than making up my own schedule and coming up with my own projects. The pharmacy is open M-Th from 8-4:30 and Friday from 8-4. It's closed on the weekends (which means those are my days off!) even though the hospital remains open all year round. There are emergency meds available if needed. I met one of the pharmacists who's been working here for almost a year. She's done with her CSP, but still decided to stick around as she's from this area. She's preggars though and will be going on maternity leave soon for four months. By the time she gets back, I'll be gone, but she still wants me to teach her the RxSolution program. I was honestly expecting a real shit show when I walked into the pharmacy based on what was described to me, but things were very well organized which makes my job a lot easier. Everybody is also computer literate and they have their own laptops, email addresses, and FB profiles. That also makes my job much easier. The pharmacy department has one computer which is currently located in the stock room. They need another one though in the dispensing area if they're going to be printing labels. Procuring it might be a problem, and now that I'm out here, MSH/SPS doesn't seem to want to help very much. The person I was supposed to be meeting with is no longer available, so I'll have to see if I can install and run the program myself. There's an entire how-to user guide on it, but I am definitely not an IT person. I'll give it a whirl next week and see how it goes. I was amazed that they were in fact still doing everything by hand from keeping track of drug inventory to writing prescription labels for patients.

The PC driver who took me to site was nice enough to stick around for another day and drive me around so that I could get some supplies for the house. I had spent about half of my settling in allowance already on souvenirs, eating out, and buying my 3G key. I wasn't sure if I would have enough money left over to get what I needed, but it ended up costing me a lot less than I thought. I managed to find this cheapo dollar type store run by some Chinese guys that saved me a lot of money. I stocked up mostly on kitchen and cleaning supplies. Tomorrow I plan to walk around town to see what's available around here.

I had to stop by the bank this morning to pick up my ATM card before moving to site. To give you an idea of just how much more progressive South Africa is than Benin, volunteers aren't even given check books. Everybody's given an ATM card (with the Visa logo on it nonetheless) that can be used almost everywhere, even in small rural communities. This, of course, saves countless hours waiting online at the bank, and there's even the option of getting smaller bills so that breaking them won't be a problem.

After the bank, one of the PC drivers took me to my site. It took us about nine hours to reach Mount Ayliff. The entire ride was very beautiful. There are green hills and valleys everywhere. It reminded me of driving through Southwest America in that there's nothing for hundreds of miles but scenery and mountains. The highways are all paved here, and there are even tolls, expensive ones too. They range anywhere from $1-$14 dollars.

We didn't arrive at Mount Ayliff until dark. I met with one of the hospital managers and one of the quality assurance managers who showed me to my temporary residence for the night. I'll be living with two other people, so they're currently in the process of procuring a newer and bigger home for us. One of them is another pharmacist in his CSP year who has been here for about three weeks now (Coincidentally enough, he's not 100% thrilled about his career choice either and is going back to school part time for computer science). The other is an audiologist who I have yet to meet. Tomorrow I'll be given a tour of the hospital and will have the opportunity to do some supply shopping.

This morning we drove to the Klerksdorp hospital, just a few kilometers down the road from where we were staying. The pharmacy wasn't as busy, so I was able to ask more questions, and I even got to help fill some prescriptions. It gave me a good opportunity to learn what some of the brand names are here. There are some exams in pharmacy school that I never ever forgot taking, just from their sheer difficulty. The first pharmacology II exam was a complete mind-fuck (I believe the average grade was a 53%) as well as the infectious disease exam on HIV/AIDS. Well, all of that crap on anti-retrovirals came swarming back today as I filled some of those prescriptions. I'm definitely rusty and will need to review which ones are NRTIs, NNRTIs, and PIs. Plus, they all have abbreviated names like 3TC, d4T, LPV, etc. The MSH/SPS people that I was traveling with will continue on to other sites during the week, but I had to go back to Pretoria because I'm leaving for post tomorrow. Somebody was kind enough to drive the three hours to Klerksdorp and then the three hours back to drop me off. To celebrate my last night in civilization, the med-evacs and myself returned to Boer'geoisie for one last feast.

So I've been thinking about it, and I wanna use my vacation days to see Durban, Cape Town and Victoria Falls at the end of March. Hopefully by then, things will slowly be up and running at my site and I won't feel so bad about leaving for a week and a half. I really wanna return to my village in Benin once I'm done here. My visa is still good until the end of June, so I might as well use it. I have no idea when the next time I'll be back in this part of the world. I've started looking into tickets and I can do both trips for around $3000, which includes my flight home to the US. I'm ultimately going to lose money on my cash-in-lieu, but that's okay. Tickets from Joburg to the US are so cheap that I don't expect to get more than $1000 bucks anyway.

I took a three hour drive this morning with MSH/SPS to Potchefstroom. I fell asleep most of the way, but the parts of the drive I did see were very beautiful. It's very green here and farm like, and the highways are similar to the ones in the US, albeit with a few more potholes and everybody drives on the opposite side of the road. One of the many things I miss about Benin is being able to pee wherever you want, and unfortunately, you can't do that here. There are actually gas stations here where you can fill up your car and use the toilets. And yes, gas is about as expensive here as it is in the US...maybe a little cheaper.

We arrived at the Potchefstroom hospital around noon. MSH/SPS considers them a "success story" as they've been using RxSolution there for about two years without any problems. The hospital was a legit hospital, not like the tiny health center where I worked in Benin. I only walked through part of it, but I noticed they had an orthopedic wing, a surgical wing, and an anti-retro viral clinic dedicated specifically to peds patients on Tuesdays. I spent most of my time in the hospital pharmacy observing while the MSH/SPS guys worked on the computer system.

Potchefstroom is located in the North West province and is very heavily Afrikaans. The language most closely resembles Dutch, but the people themselves are a mix of different European bloods. They look very Aryan - blond hair and blue eyed. There were six or seven pharmacists working there, all of them female. Pharmacy school in South Africa is four years followed by one internship year and then the CSP year in a government assigned institution. Only after those six years are they considered a registered pharmacist and allowed to practice wherever they like. They take their licensing exam during their internship year. Currently they only have the B.Pharm., but they're slowly introducing the Pharm.D. (or an equivalent doctoral degree) and clinical pharmacy.

I haven't been in a pharmacy setting since I graduated from school, so my pharmaceutical knowledge is not where it once was. Many of the brand names here are different, and there are also a few drugs that I've never even heard of before. Doctors still tend to write for the brand name even though the hospitals dispense mostly generics, so I have to learn what the trade names are here. Abbreviations are also slightly different (i.e. bds instead of bid for twice daily). Perhaps the biggest difference though is the schedule of drugs. In the US, they are classified as CI-CV (sometimes CVI in some states) with CI being the most highly controlled due to high addiction potential and limited medical use. CI drugs include heroin, peyote, and marijuana. CII drugs are mostly pain killers and AD(H)D meds - oxycodone, meperidine, amphetamine, etc. CIII contains opiod drugs mixed with other substances like Tylenol #3, Vicodin, and certain steroids. CIV has the benzodiazepines - Xanax, Ativan, Klonipin, Valium, etc. CV includes some cough and cold medicines and drugs like Lomotil, which contains diphenoxylate and atropine for diarrhea. CVI drugs are everything else. In South Africa, there are also schedules 1-6, but 6 is the strictest. Even pseudoephedrine is considered a schedule 6 drug. Schedule 5 includes many antipsychotics and antidepressants like Prozac, Risperdal, chlorpromazine, etc. The benzos are also considered schedule 5. Cipro is a schedule 4 drug. In South Africa, drugs are categorized not only according to their addiction potential, but also their possible side effects. Cytotec is a schedule 6 since it can be used to abort babies.

Anyhoo, I spent several hours watching the pharmacists work and navigate RxSolution. It was pretty busy so I didn't bother to ask many questions. I was able to see how the ordering was done, how patients meds are transferred to smaller clinics, and how prescription labels are printed. We didn't actually make it to the Klerksdorp hospital, but did spend the night there at a bed and breakfast similar to the Rose Guest House.

I don't think I could ever work in an office. It's far too sedentary and being in a cubicle all day long would make me claustrophobic. Plus, there's all this "Internet etiquette" which you're not sure of. Porn at work is obviously a no no, but what about YouTube and Facebook? Are those acceptable to be perusing while you're bored? My first day at the MSH/SPS office, I was very conscientious about that and didn't jump on the Internet at all. I basically just read through the RxSolution training manual and played around with the software. This got really boring though and while walking around, I noticed other people using Facebook, Amazon, Ebay, or whatever so I thought..."Hmmm..okay...so I guess it's alrite if I use the Internet too." Thus, day two, I spent a lot of time on FB, checking my email, and reading more about the MSH/SPS mission. I felt a little guilty, like I should be focusing more on RxSolution, but like I said, it's pretty straightforward, and once it's up and running, it shouldn't take me more than a few days to get the hang of it. I guess we'll find out tomorrow when I go to Klerksdorp.

I met David today, the IT guy for MSH/SPS in the Eastern Cape, and will be meeting with Lindilé, the pharmacist for MSH/SPS, sometime next week. I'm hoping they can help me set up the software, but I don't imagine getting it up and running until at least a month after my arrival. At one point, RxSolution was installed on the hospital computer but it crashed and was never repaired. They never sent it away to get fixed, and David is based in East London which is almost 8 hours away. Regardless, I would like to spend the first few weeks just figuring out how things are run at the hospital, and my first and probably biggest responsibility will be managing their drug inventory. Supposedly they don't even keep records of the drugs they dispense nor receive, so patients could very well be getting expired drugs.

MSH/SPS had a meeting today and I decided to attend since I thought it would be a good opportunity to learn more about the work they're doing in South Africa. Little did I know that it was going to be six hours long! One or two hour meetings are pretty brutal, even when you have an idea of what's going on. Imagine sitting through a six hour meeting with no idea what the hell anybody's talking about. After about three hours in, I had to excuse myself and tell the manager that I wanted to dabble around some more with the RxSolution software just so I wouldn't fall asleep.

During the meeting, I learned that pharmacists here are referred to as CSPs, Community Service Pharmacists. After their schooling, they spend a year training at a government assigned institution. Afterwards, they have the option of staying or going some place else. The problem at Mt. Ayliff is that there's a constant revolving door of pharmacists since nobody wants to stay there after a year. My job then, will be to train the more permanent staff, like the pharmacy technicians (or pharmacy assistants as they're called here). In the US, depending on the company, pharmacy technicians are allowed to do almost everything the pharmacist can except verify prescriptions, perform DURs, and take new prescriptions. RxSolution enables physicians to enter prescriptions right into the system, which can be retrieved later by the pharmacist or pharmacy technician. Thus, I don't imagine there's a lot of oral transcribing like in retail settings. I highly doubt there are clinical pharmacists here who attend rounds, recommend medications, or perform drug interventions. A potential issue I see is if only pharmacy technicians are being trained on RxSolution, how will they be able to spot potential DURs? The system isn't programmed to do it automatically.

I went to Hatfield (one of the many districts of Pretoria) today to check out their flea market. I'm such a sucker for souvenirs. They had a lot of the same stuff that I saw yesterday in downtown Pretoria. I ended up buying two masks. I've been using my settling in allowance more to buy goodies for myself than my actual home. Again, the problem is I dunno what I need to buy. A fan is definitely on my list as I've heard it can get pretty hot where I'll be. If I'll be living and working on the hospital grounds though, I'd imagine they'd at least have a kitchen with utensils I can use. Is it too hopeful to expect a washer/dryer, air conditioning, and the Internet as well?

I'm amazed at how many shopping malls there are in Pretoria - I've been to at least three of them. The Hatfield flea market is in the parking lot of the Hatfield mall, which is only a few blocks away from the MSH/SPS office. They even have a tattoo parlor in the mall, which to me, seems like an odd place to get some ink work done. I went inside this bookstore called CNA that sells so many English novels, DVDs, and CDs. This is why I'm dying to get out of Pretoria and see what the rest of the country is really like, as for the moment, I can't see any justification for having Peace Corps in such a developed part of the world. I ended up buying a cookbook on South African dishes. I have to wait to see what my life is like at post first, but I have no idea what I'm going to cook for myself (maybe the hospital will have a cafeteria???...). I can't believe they don't have village markets here nor street food, as they were such a huge part of my Peace Corps experience. I loved going to the market everyday and buying things fresh and if I was too lazy to cook, I could always find something to eat. It almost seems harder to buy things at the supermarket as everything appears so much more expensive and comes in such large quantities. I doubt I'll have any petits to share my left overs with, which I'm kinda sad about too. I loved my petits and although they were annoying at times, they were good company, and again, a huge part of the PC experience. It's amazing how different PC is in each country, even if it is on the same continent. South Africa is about twice the size of Texas, and yet, there are no regional work stations for the volunteers, only the PC HQ in Pretoria. In Benin, which is considerably smaller, we had four. It would be nice to have PC places to stay while traveling, but it looks like I'll have to dorm in hostels.

I had the opportunity to see central Pretoria (often referred to as Tshwane in local language) today with Carina (the medevac from Rwanda), Michael (the medevac from Tanzania), and his mother. I looked online and they have this bus called the "Hop-On Hop-Off" Bus that takes you to all the touristy sites in Pretoria for only 60 rand. When we got there, however, we discovered that it was no longer running, even though there's still a website for it and a working phone number. I guess they weren't getting enough business. We decided to just do part of the tour on foot instead.

We started at Church Square and then walked to the zoo (we didn't go inside) and then to the Union Building. We each picked up some souvenirs along the way. I bought a two meter blue wall hanging with the "big 5" on it - lion, elephant, rhino, buffalo, and leopard. In hindsight, I could've haggled a little more, but whatever. I paid 200 rand for it down from 250. Afterwards, we walked around Church Street back towards where we started. They had a lot of vendors on the way where we also stopped to browse and shop some more.

Church Square Church Square Union Building Union Building View from Union BuildingInside Garden of Union Building

Last night, Carina and I went to this Boer restaurant called "Boer'geoisie" that sells traditional Boer food. (I noticed there wasn't a single black person there. Coincidence??...) I ordered a seafood stew and Carina had some fish. For dessert, we both shared this doughy hot dumpling ball dipped in caramel and cinnamon and served with vanilla ice cream. The entire meal was quite tasty and only around $15 USD. I'm still trying to learn how much things cost here, but it's really hard not trying to convert everything first.

Yesterday at MSH/SPS, I played around a little more with RxSolution. It's a Windows based application and much easier than many of the other prescription filling programs I've used. I guess they need to make it user friendly so that it's easier for computer illiterate people to learn. The only down part about the program is that it can't perform DURs (drug utilization reviews). This means that drug interactions and allergies won't flag automatically in the computer. Thus, I'll have to be able to recognize those things off the top of my head. It'll be my true test as a pharmacist since most of the programs back home do these for us automatically. I'll have to brush up on my HAART (Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy) regimens too, as a lot of these HIV/AIDS drugs have some nasty side effects and drug interactions. I'm excited to see how this program will be used in an actual hospital next week. It's much easier for me to learn hands on rather than by reading.

For dinner, I was in for a treat today since I got to meet up with one of my cousins, Remy, whom I haven't seen in almost eight years. He's a French native but has been working in Australia for the last ten years, and just happened to be on a business trip in Jo'burg. It was great catching up with him after so long. We went to the Menlyn Mall for dinner and ate at this seafood place where we ate sushi and some live oysters. The sushi was alright, but there weren't that many rolls available on the menu, at least not ones I was familiar with (and I'm quite the sushi connoisseur). As for the oysters, I didn't realize they were raw until I put them in my mouth and thought, "Hmm...this doesn't really taste that cooked."

Working with the PC can get complicated at times because it's never quite clear whom you're supposed to report to. PC pays my salary and I have to follow their rules, but once I'm at site, it's not like they can monitor me 24/7. I will have my own counterpart at the hospital who I still don't know the identity of. To make things more complicated, PC has partnered with Management Sciences for Health/Strengthening Pharmaceutical Systems (MSH/SPS) for my particular project.

PC received their funding for a response volunteer through PEPFAR and MSH/SPS is funded through USAID. (If you want more information about the MSH/SPS project in South Africa, go here: http://www.msh.org/projects/sps/Global-Focus/South-Africa.cfm). MSH/SPS has developed this new pharmaceutical management and drug dispensing software called RxSolution which they have installed in over 250 hospitals in South Africa alone and in hundreds of other hospitals across Sub-Saharan Africa. They would also like to implement this new software at the hospital where I'll be working in Mount Ayliff. That's where I come in.

In theory, any local pharmacist could do this job, but there aren't that many to begin with in this country. I'm told there's only one for the entire hospital where I'll be working, and it's not clear to me whether they're a native or an expat. Therein lies PC's role to recruit a pharmacist crazy enough to spend five or six months out in rural areas. A trained pharmacist in this country is not going to stay in the bushes. They will more likely move to the urban areas where they can make much more money. In fact, there was a pharmacist at the hospital who knew how to use RxSolution, but they left of course.

I spent the entire day at the MSH/SPS office in Pretoria reading a 300+ page user guide on RxSolution. I've navigated different pharmaceutical dispensing softwares before, and this one seems pretty straight forward. The hard part will be becoming familiar with it enough to teach others how to use it at the hospital. I don't imagine that many of them there are even computer literate to begin with. Next week I'm spending a night in Klerksdorp and visiting four different hospitals to see how the software is utilized on site.

I wish I knew a little bit more about the hospital where I'll be working. Nobody at MSH/SPS seems to know anything since they're just the ones developing the software. On googling them, they seem to offer many different services, which means they'll be bigger than my health center in Benin. Even still, I doubt there'll be Internet available, which means I'll have to invest in one of those 3G USB keys. I'm sure I'll need to spend the first few days just figuring out how things are run and what needs to be accomplished. If this particular hospital has been chosen by MSH/SPS to utilize this system, then their current method of drug organization and management must not be very good. It's possible they're still writing things on cards.

Maybe I shouldn't speak too soon, but it's refreshing to have a PC position where I have so much more responsibility. I'm not even sure "pharmacy advisor" is an appropriate title for this job since it seems as if I'll have more managerial responsiblities. "Pharmacy manager" seems more appropriate, and in fact, was a pre-requisite for this position but whatevs. I guess I'll figure it out as I go along, just like I did with my last PC position. As it is, almost all of the PCV titles have "advisor" or "agent" in them.

There are currently two other MSH/SPS employees stationed in the Eastern Cape, but neither of them are near me. One is an IT guy in Port Elizabeth and the other is a pharmacist in East London. I'm told they'll meet me at my site once I arrive for a brief introduction and orientation.

I got my settling in allowance today, 3700 rand. The only problem is, I have no idea what to do with it. I haven't seen my house yet so I don't know what I need to buy. In Benin, I used a lot of that money to buy furniture which I don't have to do here since there aren't any carpenters and my host organization is supposed to provide me with at least a chair, a desk, a dresser, and a table of some sort. I need to buy certain household items like pots and pans, but I figured I'd just wait until I got to my post and buy it there. Apparently supermarkets are rather plentiful across the country. PC will be driving me to my site, which is about 10 hours away, and they told me I could just do my shopping then. I'm living in one of the houses on the hospital compound so I would imagine they have a decent amount of stuff there already. I did, however, buy a cell phone today at the largest mall in all of Africa, the Menlyn Mall. There was even an Apple store there! I swear, it's like I'm not even in Africa - just an extension of America. As much as I've been enjoying the luxury, I can't wait to move to my site to finally get some work done and live like the majority of the people in this country.

We managed to cram nine weeks of training into only two and a half days. Today we learned about the education sector and the different parts of the country. South Africa is divided into nine provinces: Eastern Cape, Northern Cape, Western Cape, North West, Free State, Gauteng, KwaZulu-Natal, Limpopo, and Mpumalanga. I'll be in the Eastern Cape, the poorest part of the country. Most volunteers are placed in the KwaZulu-Natal, Limpopo, Mpumalanga, and Northern Cape. There are a few others with me in the Eastern Cape, but none of them are close by. Here's a picture of our swearing-in ceremony, which took a whopping 2 minutes.

From left to right: Brigitte (the PTO), John (the CD), me, Dave, Sandile

Over the last few days, several PCVs have filtered in and out of the Rose Guest House on med-evac. Of course, we all got to talking and swapped stories about our adventures and injuries. One volunteer from Uganda tripped and broke her arm, another from Tanzania tripped into a pile of wood and broke several bones in his face, another from Botswana had to have a few stitches, and today, a new med-evac from Rwanda just flew in. A few days before I arrived, there were several volunteers here from Mozambique who were involved in a horrible car accident. The driver was really drunk and flew off the side of the road. The car flipped over several times killing two volunteers instantly. Another broke his neck, back, and legs. The fourth broke both his wrists. And the "lucky" fifth managed to leave with just a broken nose. This all happened right around Christmas time. The three who survived all went back to the states of course after they recuperated in the hospital here. They had only been at their sites for about a week. When most people join the PC, they think the biggest dangers are from being robbed or raped, but honestly, you're so much more likely to die in a car accident. People here have no respect for the road. It's culturally acceptable to drink and drive (maybe not in Pretoria or Jo'burg...). In all of PC's 50 years of history though, only 250 people have been killed in traffic accidents, which isn't that many considering the tens of thousands of volunteers that have served over the years.

PCV life here is so different from Benin (Jo'burg, Cape Town, Durban, Pretoria, and East London aside). Maybe I should wait to see what my site is like first before I comment, but for instance, almost all prices here are fixed so there's no haggling. There aren't tiny village markets either. The supermarkets have everything and I mean everything. I brought some items with me that I thought would be difficult to find (like Knorr's sauce packets), but they have those too. There are so many foreigners in Pretoria that I don't stick out like a sore thumb (although I have yet to see another Asian person). Sandilé did warn me yesterday though that at my post, expect to be called Chinese a lot, something I'm used to by now. PCVs are not allowed to drive/ride motorcycles nor given bicycles. The principle means of transportation around site is walking or taking bush taxis. They still crowd people in there like sardines, but at least the vehicles aren't as run down and again, the prices are fixed. Malaria is only endemic to the northern parts of the country, particularly those areas bordering Mozambique and Botswana, which means I won't have to take prophylactic medication. I may still sleep underneath a net though to keep out the bugs. Water is potable in metropolitan areas and most rural communities. The doctors said I shouldn't have to boil mine. PC gave me a filter which is nothing more than a Brita filter like the ones in the US.

It's summer time now so the weather's been really nice. It's in the 70's or 80's and not very humid. I'm told parts of the country can get really hot, but I doubt the temperatures will reach those of Benin. I'm also told that it can get very cold here during the winter time and drop down to the 30's. By then, however, I'll already be gone.

HIV/AIDS is a huge problem here so PCVs either work in that sector (more about that later) or as a teacher. Antiretrovirals are free to anyone with HIV/AIDS, even non-South African citizens. This is a big problem because people from neighboring countries come here to get their meds which causes long queues and some people to be turned away. This will be one of my responsibilities at the hospital - either trying to prevent this from happening or to increase efficiency. The South African government can't turn anybody away either because they'd essentially be giving them a death sentence. Sandilé informed me that during the apartheid years as a method of population control, people were actually injected with the HIV/AIDS virus and then sent to brothels to spread the disease. The poor education/literacy rates also increases the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. Being faithful and practicing monogamy are often taught in schools, but as I learned in Benin, this message is difficult to get across in a country where having multiple partners is often seen as a status symbol.

I'm glad that my PC training is only three days long. I've been having some déjà vu of my PST days back in Benin and I remember how grueling it was. I can't imagine doing another nine weeks. In hindsight, everything probably could've been crammed into only a week or two anyway. We spent so much time learning French only to discover that practically no one spoke French in our communities. Cultural training was helpful, but even still, the most important things I learned from just being in my village.

This morning we got an introduction to CHOP - Community Health/HIV Outreach Program. It's one of the two PC sectors that exists in South Africa. As the name implies, PCVs do community outreach mostly related to HIV/AIDS. They serve as public health advisors, NGO advisors, health extension advisors, youth development advisors, or community development advisors. We also learned about the history of South Africa. The Portuguese were the first to arrive in the 1400's followed by the Dutch 200 years later and the British soon after. Under British rule, the Dutch were forced further inland from the Cape of Good Hope discovering and settling in other regions, often clashing with local tribes. Tired of their oppressors, the Dutch revolted in what became known as the Anglo-Boer War. The British overturned the rebellion, however, increasing animosity between the two groups. During these conflict times (which also included both World Wars), the black natives were increasingly segregated, eventually leading to apartheid. During the 70's and 80's, the anti-apartheid movement grew stronger and in 1994, South Africa had its first democratic election. Nelson Mandela, a leader of the African National Congress who had been imprisoned for years, became the first president. He was succeeded in 1999 by Thabo Mbeki who continued to campaign for a democratic state. In 2008, Jacob Zuma became leader of the ANC and replaced Mbeki as president in 2009.

For dinner today I went to that Vietnamese restaurant that I saw last night. The owner just moved from Vietnam eleven months ago, so I knew I would be better off speaking to him in my native language. I'm fairly fluent in Vietnamese, but I always get tripped up with the titles when addressing people or myself. To be polite, I called him "Anh" (older brother), but then he also called me Anh, so then I just called him "Em" (younger brother) and referred to myself as Anh. His parents came into the restaurant, who are about the same age as my parents, so I called them "Bac" (uncle/aunt) as a sign of respect and referred to myself as "Chau" (nephew), but then they called me "Em" so then I got really confused. Pretoria seems like an odd place to open up a Vietnamese restaurant as I don't imagine there are a lot of Vietnamese people in this area. The menu was full of Engrish like "trdiontial" (traditional) meals, "pried" (fried) rice and "priced" (fried) noodles. I ordered some vermicelli noodles with eggrolls. I also ordered some slow drip iced coffee. It was the "Trung Nguyen" brand i.e. the one made from weasel shit, which coincidentally, I also brought with me. The quality of the food was about average as far as Vietnamese restaurants go, but I doubt I'll find another like it so I'll probably return again at least once before I leave for my site. Next time maybe I'll try the pho. There weren't that many Vietnamese dishes to be honest. It was half Vietnamese and half Chinese. I spent 60 rand there (I'm still not sure whether or not I'm supposed to tip). I've gotten into the bad habit, like most foreigners do when traveling, of converting everything to USD to figure out how much things cost, when in actuality, it doesn't matter since everything here will probably be cheaper and I'm paid in rand.

During my five months here I have ten vacation days. Is it bad that I'm already trying to figure out where I wanna go? I definitely want to take a trip to Cape Town and travel along the coast to the Cape of Good Hope. There are flights from Durban to Cape Town and also Jo'burg to Cape Town for around $250. The cheaper option is to take a Greyhound bus (yes, those exist here too!) for about half the price. The only downside is that I'll be stuck on a bus for almost an entire day. Since I'm pretty close to Durban, I plan to go there at least once for a weekend trip. I'm about an hour inland from the beach so hopefully I'll be able to swim in the ocean a few times too. I would also love to see Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe. I heard it's beautiful and one to of the natural wonders of the world. I thought about possibly going there for my COS trip. I could fly from Cape Town to Victoria Falls to Johannesburg to Newark for about $2000. The only downside is I'd have to carry all my luggage around. I had thought about bringing one of those hiking backpacks because I knew I wanted to do some traveling, but I wasn't able to fit everything. David wants to go to Cape Town too so maybe we can go together and save some money, and I can go to Victoria Falls myself during my five months here and not have to worry about bringing everything. I'll have to use my own money if I want to do that, but it shouldn't cost more than $1000. Maybe then if I'm still considering going back to Benin I can use my cash in lieu money for that or just take the plane ticket home instead.

I woke up this morning at 5 AM and couldn't fall back asleep (jet lag and all). The sun was already up, so I decided to go for a little jog around the neighborhood. Maybe it's cause I'm in the rich part of town, but this area is so nice! There are highways, street signs, and people actually obey traffic laws. I'm still trying to get used to people driving on the opposite side of the road, however.

Breakfast was provided to us free of charge and consisted of eggs, bacon, sausage, yogurt, various fruits and juices. David and I both agreed that this place is nicer than where we had our COS conferences. The PC driver came to pick us up around 8:30 and we headed to the PC HQ office in Pretoria about 10 mins away. The relationship PCVs had with admin in Benin was love/hate to say the least, with most of us leaning towards the latter, but the PC staff in SA is much different. I spoke with a few other volunteers who were there and they all said how much they loved the admin staff. Everyone agreed that they're very friendly, supportive, and helpful. This can make a big difference on one's service. I'm sure if the PC Benin staff had been more nurturing, fewer people in my stage would've left.

David and I met with the medical officers, the safety and security officer, and the administrative officer. They condensed three months of training in just a few hours (if only PST had been that short...). My monthly salary in South Africa is about 4200 rand, or roughly $500 USD. That's more than twice what I was making in Benin and more than my monthly readjustment allowance when I return to the states. PCRVs only make about 10% more than PCVs.

For lunch, we went out to KFC, yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken. I can't wait to see what life is like at my post and experience the true South African dichotomy. Afterwards, we talked a little bit more about our sites. My native language is Xhosa (the "xh" sound makes a clicking sound) and apparently is the same dialect Nelson Mandela speaks. We weren't able to discuss my assignment for too long as we ran out of time, but I'll be working at Mt. Ayliff hospital in Flagstaff. Sandile, the PCR coordinator, told me that they were having difficulty filling the position because no pharmacist would take a pay cut from about $8000/month working in the US to $500/month working in sub-Saharan Africa, unless they were crazy like me.

On the way to dinner at the mall (yes, they have those here too - with a movie theater!), David and I ran across this delightful little shop:

further proving that South Africa is better than Benin. We decided to go someplace else to eat though and will probably return there tomorrow.

I never imagined myself leaving again so soon for another PC assignment. Many of the PCR positions seek candidates with really odd backgrounds. One, for instance, was looking for a meteorologist. Others are fairly general looking for nurses, engineers, MPHs, etc. Of course what makes these positions unique is that not only do you have to meet the requirements for the job, but you also have had to have finished your PC service successfully (i.e. ET's aren't eligible to apply). Thus, I feel like the majority of the people that take these assignments are older as many of them require advanced degrees and/or several years of work experience. When my particular position came up, I knew I wouldn't find another PCR assignment like it, so I applied. I almost backed out of the interview as at the time, I wasn't ready to leave again so soon, and I was more hopeful that another position in the states would come along. I'm glad I went through with it though, as when else am I going to have this opportunity?

A big issue for me during the PC (aside from the unbearable heat) was the work, or lack thereof. I did a lot of great things in my community, but if I were to return today, I'm not sure how much of it would be sustainable. Plus, I constantly found myself with too much free time, especially during the last few months of my service. I'm told PCR is completely different though. There were a few PCRVs in Benin when I was there, and they seemed almost too busy. I'm hoping that'll be the case now, but if it isn't, I prepared myself by bringing lots of TV shows to watch and books to read.

One of the great things about being an (R)PCV is how easy it is to connect with other (R)PCVs, regardless of when/where they served or what they did. I met another PCV on my flight from Atlanta to Jo'burg who is currently serving as a health volunteer in Swaziland. I also ran into the other PCRV, Daniel, that I'll be training with for the first few days.

PC booked me with two window seats, but I upgraded my first flight to Atlanta so that I could sit in the aisle in the row right behind first class, which gave me much more leg room. I usually prefer the aisle as I hate bothering people when I have to get up to pee, but on longer flights, I think the window is preferable as it's easier to sleep. Fortunately, I didn't have anybody sitting right next to me so I got to spread my legs out a little more. Delta had a lot of movies available to watch. I watched Bridesmaids and the Hangover before falling asleep for several hours.

I didn't have any of that initial culture shock upon arriving at the Johannesburg airport like I did in Cotonou. For starters, I could see several McDonalds from the airplane as it descended. The airport's really nice too, like any other American one. I'll never forget what a nightmare it was trying to find everybody's luggage when we first landed in Cotonou. I don't think we left the airport until an hour later.

Once we found our suitcases, Daniel and I met the PC driver at the entrance gate who then drove us to our hotel in Pretoria. (They drive on the opposite side of the road btw in South Africa - the steering wheel is on the right and they drive on the left). Now when I was in Benin, we had orientation at St. Jean Eudes which was only a slight step up from Codiam, but this place where I'm staying now, the Brooklyn, is like the Plaza in comparison to both of them. It's in the rich part of Pretoria where all the expats live. It's also where all the PCVs who are med-evac'ed stay. The place has two swimming pools and each room has air conditioning and a TV. There's also free wi-fi. Take a look at these photos and tell me it's not ridonculous.

See? This is why I say it's cheating if you've done PC SA.

I leave for South Africa on Saturday January 7th at 2 PM. I take a two hour flight from Newark to Atlanta and then spend 15.5 hours on a plane to Johannesburg. I'm not sure I've ever been in an aircraft for that long before...maybe when I went to Vietnam but I honestly can't remember. The Peace Corps booked me on a Delta flight (one of the few American carriers that fly direct to South Africa from the states). It's ridiculous the fees airlines charge nowadays. You'd think that with a long international flight to South Africa I'd be able to check more than one bag free of charge, but I still have to pay for the second one (well, PC does...). There's even a fee now for in flight entertainment (but at least this is waived for international flights)! I spend about a week in Pretoria doing some crash course training with the Peace Corps and with my partner organization before moving onto my site around the 19th. I'll be with another PCR volunteer but he will be serving as an "Organizational Development Specialist" in the Northern Cape. He's older than I am as he served in Sierra Leone in the late 80's and has much more experience than I do working with the PC and the US government.

At first I wasn't thrilled about leaving again so soon, but with just a few days left to go, I'm getting more excited about it. I'm honestly going crazy at home from all the boredom (at least with all the free time I've had the last few months I've been able to pick up the piano again). My goal was to be employed by January anyway, and let's face it, this'll be better than any short term job I would've found in the states. I can't help but have this overwhelming sense of déjà vu though as obviously I've done this once before. I always thought it was cheating though if you did PC in a country people have heard of. I mean, c'mon, PC Fiji? PC Jamaica? Even PC South Africa - it's still the wealthiest nation in Africa. The only reason why I'd ever heard of Benin was from that Animaniacs song that Yakko sings about the nations of the world. Whatever. I've done my two years already though so I don't care if I'm copping out by going some place "easier."

I've been doing some last minute shopping to buy some essentials I foresee myself needing. I bought a new iPod Nano and a camera as I don't want to bring my iPhone with me. I also stocked up on some kitchen supplies, granola bars, sauce packets, Crystal Lights, and loaded my Kindle with books. I'm told I can find almost everything I need in South Africa, but I don't want to take any chances. At least I won't have to bring as much clothing this time as I'll only be there for five months during the summer.

I've met up with some friends over the last few months and they seem so "grown up" in comparison to me. I wouldn't necessarily call them more mature, but they've certainly tackled more of the "adult milestones" than I have - a steady job, significant others, and some even with children. I feel like I'm no longer a child, but not really an adult either. Part of me just wants to stay in school forever so I never have to worry about those responsibilities. But who's to say that having all those "adult" things would make me happier? It just seems costly and a lot of work. Kids are so expensive and ungrateful in America. They're all born with this innate sense of entitlement. I think I'd prefer to be the "fun uncle" guy that gets to spoil the kids every once in a while but who can still return them to their rightful owners at the end of the day. Besides, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life, and until I know, I don't think I could ever make anybody else happy. People always ask me, "So, what are you going to do with an MPH once you're done?" Well, ideally, I'd want to live a baller life style as an expat somewhere. But at the same time, I don't want to be an expat that's stuck in some office implementing policies that affect people they're completely removed from. I want that fancy ass house, but I want to be working with villagers. Actually, I don't even need a fancy house, so long as I have enough work to keep me occupied. The house I had in my old village was more than sufficient, but I would definitely need air conditioning, a fridge, a TV, Internet, and reliable electricity. I've already lived like a villager once with minimal amenities, and while I could do it again if I had to, why should I? If the expat life doesn't work out, then maybe I'll end up working with the CDC, the NIH, or maybe get an MBA/some other degree and forever live in a state of debt like the rest of America.

Many of my cousins are in college now and having the time of their lives. I'm completely jealous. In retrospect, I should've done a lot more drinking, partying, and smoking. Now I'm too old for any of that. If I were to do it again, I would've done things so differently. I've always been a firm believer that if you work hard, good things will come to you. But if that's the case, why can't I find a job? I graduated magna cum laude and have absolutely nothing to show for it. Yes, I did the PC, which let's face it, is pretty damn cool, but then why do I still feel like I haven't accomplished anything yet?

I'm almost 30 and my life feels empty. Is it just a product of living in America? Why do we consistently feel the need to fill our lives with useless stuff? Why is it that in a country that has everything, so many people are depressed, jobless, and hopeless? I felt oddly complete in Africa. Sure, it was trying at times being a foreigner, but that's kinda what I loved about it too. People just treated you differently and loved you for it. Everyone wanted to be with the Yovo and see what they were doing. I miss that sense of community. Americans are so self absorbed and consumed with their lives. Is it even fulfilling and worthwhile? I mean, it took me almost three months to get together with some of my closest friends because they were "too busy with work" or "too busy with school" or "had other plans with the boyfriend/girlfriend." Or maybe I'm just feeling this way because I have absolutely nothing to do. Once I'm in school, I'm sure I'll join the countless other Americans that are simply "just too busy." And yet, somehow, I feel like Hopkins will be my second chance at happiness. Sure, it may no longer be culturally acceptable to go drinking every night, but at least I'll feel like my life is going in the right direction.

When I left for the PC almost two years ago, the economy wasn't doing very well. I specifically remember several of my friends signing contracts with Walgreens only to have them rescinded later on. And even though I interviewed with them, they were unable to offer me a job as a pharmacist, only as a technician making less than what I was before. Honestly, it was a blessing in disguise as literally the day after, I received my offer letter from the Peace Corps.

Like many, I joined the Peace Corps with the idealistic notion that I would change the world. From the very beginning, it wasn't very clear what I would be doing, and as I later discovered, a large part of my service would be spent trying to figure it out. I was essentially a health educator rather than a provider, and I used very little of my pharmacy knowledge. In fact, the last few months of my service were spent doing a whole lot of nothing. Most of my larger projects I finished during my first year and even the planning and organizing for Camp GLOW didn't take as long as I thought it would. Towards the end, my typical day included not much more than eating, reading, and sleeping. To break up the monotony, I would occasionally go to the market or make an appearance at my health center, more to hang out than to actually work. The one day I was busy was on Fridays for baby weighings and vaccinations. Thus, although I loved my village and thoroughly enjoyed my time there, I was eager to go home and be productive again. Trust me when I tell you that sitting at home all day doing nothing gets old. Had I known how miserable the US economy had gotten over the last two years though, I honestly would've stayed.

For a while, I had thought about extending in my village to teach English, but in the end, I decided against it because a) I was tired of the heat and b) I wanted to make some real money at home. I didn't realize what a challenge this would be, however. Peace Corps gave me about $6000 for my readjustment allowance and it lasted me about three months, which is better than most. I'm grateful that I was able to come home and stay with my parents and not have to worry about food or rent, but of course, there were other finances I had to worry about...like health and car insurance. PC offers a health insurance plan for returned volunteers, but it's not very good and in fact, many RPCVs say it's just as well to go uninsured. It costs about $180 per month, which may not seem like a lot, but PC only gives you $225/month to "readjust" with. With what I pay for car insurance, which again, isn't that much, I end up having to pay more than what PC gives me. Since I've been home, I haven't bought a single luxury item for myself, as I've come to realize that there's a big difference in things that I need and things that I want. Most of my readjustment allowance has been spent on Rex buying him various dog items and getting him neutered (He's completely spoiled in America now btw. He refuses to go outside whenever it rains, and he's managed to gain almost five pounds in the last few months).

I planned my COS date around an RPCV career conference that was held in NYC on September 16th. I was hoping to meet some prospective employers, but there were very few (if any) that were health related. The big one that I really would've liked to have gone to was in August in DC. Many organizations I was interested in were there, like the FDA, CDC, and NIH. In retrospect, I could've gone, but I would've had to terminate my service early and I was stubborn. I wanted to finish. I would've only had a month left. Plus, I wanted NCE which is only supposed to be granted to those who successfully complete their service, but the CD gave it to people who ET'ed as well. Regardless, I've learned that it really hasn't proven to be that beneficial. Most of the NCE positions available are entry level, and as I've also realized, it puts me at no special advantage over other pharmacists. Neither does my PC experience. As you can imagine, this is extremely frustrating. I sacrificed two years of my life to do something completely philanthropic and nobody seems to give a rat's ass. If anything, I thought it would distinguish me from other pharmacists - I mean, how many do you know that join the PC? But like I said, nobody cares. I don't have the experience they're looking for.

I was told that as a pharmacist, I would have job security for life. Boy, was that false! Since the RPCV career fair was a bust, I started looking for jobs online. Retail made the most sense since I had already done it for years as an intern, and I would have no qualms about quitting after only a few months. After all, I was just looking for something short term to make some money before I went back to school. I looked practically everywhere and nobody was hiring - big chains, small chains, independents, Walmart, Target, etc. In a moment of desperation, I even called Walgreens to see if they would take me back and what they basically said was, "Good luck finding a pharmacist job in NJ. This area is too saturated." CVS said the same thing. The one company that called me for an interview was Target, and it was by far, the most brutal interview of my life. I spent an hour on the phone with HR before being invited to an on site interview. Before coming, however, I had to complete a questionnaire which took me almost 90 minutes. The first part was behavioral type questions where you had to strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, or strongly disagree. Even though you may not believe or behave the way the statement is written, it's obvious how you're supposed to answer the question (i.e. I always come to work on time, I've never told a lie, I'm unorganized, etc). Afterwards, I was given a situation in which I had to respond by choosing the best and worst answer. Part three was math questions - not pharmacy math but algebra math. I actually had to whip out a pencil and calculator. Part four involved sequences in which I was given a series of numbers or letters and then I had to determine the next number or letter in the sequence. Part five, which by far was the most challenging, involved logic puzzles, like those that you would see on the LSATs. The entire time I kept thinking, "When the hell am I ever going to have to figure this shit out in real life?!" After all that, I don't even know how I did on the test. When I went in for the interview, it was just behavioral question after behavioral question ("Give me an example of a time when..."). The questions were taken directly from a script but were so oddly worded that even the person reading the question had to ask it twice just to ensure that she understood it. Whatever. I was able to answer all of them to the best of my ability using examples from the Peace Corps. I met with the store manager, the pharmacist I'd be working with, and the district manager. The pharmacist and I hit it off well. He graduated a year before me and we had a lot of the same rotations. He also went back to school to get his MPH (although not from Hopkins). He even said to me, "You have an outstanding resume." The best part about Target though was that I knew their system. It was the same one that they used at Drug Fair, so I wouldn't have to spend forever getting trained on it. And yet after all that nonsense, they were unable to offer me the position. They couldn't even tell me why due to "company policy." The kicker though was that I went in for my interview in October and that particular job position had been posted online since August. What the hell are they looking for then?

I'm sure if I wanted, I could find a position out in Wyoming or something, but I'm only licensed in NJ and to transfer my license requires a lot of time and money. I looked into getting my Maryland license (so that I could possibly work part time during school), but unfortunately that requires 520 hours of post grad experience and PC doesn't count. I even called to see if I could get those hours in Maryland as an intern, but they said nope. Since I'm licensed in NJ, I need to get those hours in NJ, but you can see how this is a problem if nobody's hiring in NJ. Virginia and DC do not require any hours, however, so I started to transfer my license there instead (more about that later).

Since it seemed clear that retail pharmacy wouldn't work out, I then went over to hospital. There were several openings with many different hospitals in NJ, but because I don't have a residency, I'm not qualified for any clinical positions, so I applied for staff pharmacist jobs. Although they say hospital experience is "preferred" and not mandatory, the resumes get sent through a central database, so obviously mine is not gonna hit if I don't have any prior hospital experience. Since that too was an epic fail, I moved on to plan C - industry.

The problem with the pharmaceutical industry is that unless you've done a fellowship, it's almost impossible to get a job with big pharma unless you have at least 10 years of experience and some type of Ph.D. So I put my resume on Career Builder and Monster and a few recruiters contacted me. The only problem was they clearly were not being honest with me. For example, I got a call for a position with Medco as a pharmacy auditor. It wasn't clear whether or not they were looking for pharmacists, but simply needed somebody who knew how to read prescriptions and was knowledgeable about Medicare Part D. When they asked me how much I wanted to get paid, I said $35-40/hour which I thought was more than reasonable. They told me they could only offer me $27. I said I'd think about it. A few days later, another person from the same recruiting company called about the same position. Again, when they asked me how much I wanted, I said $35-40/hour, and they said, "Well, we can only give you $23...and it's non-negotiable." WTF?! I told them whatever and to set up the interview. I never heard from them again (What's even odder is that when they gave me the info about the interview - they said not to mention compensation when I went in. Why not? Unless they had something to hide..). I also got contacted for a drug info position with Pfizer. I read the job description and this time they were specifically looking for "health care professionals (pharmacists and/or nurses)." When asked how much I wanted, I replied $35-40 and once again they said, we can only give you $25. What pharmacist is gonna accept a $25/hour position?

Anyway, while all this retail/hospital/industry nonsense was going on, I came across a position on the Peace Corps Response website for a "Pharmacy Advisor" in South Africa. Peace Corps Response is a little different in that a) only former PCVs are eligible to apply b) the positions are shorter (6 months to a year) and c) you apply to specific positions within specific countries. Many of the jobs I came across asked for nurses, engineers or people with MPH degrees, so I was very surprised that I found one related to my field. I applied for the position not really thinking anything of it (at that point I had been home for about two weeks). At the time, I wasn't ready to leave again so soon and I was more optimistic that I would find something in the states. About a month passed between the time I applied, was contacted for an interview, and had my references checked. When I accepted the position, I kept telling myself that I would stay in the states if something better came along, although that's clearly no longer the case. I feel like this is too good of an opportunity to give up. I'll always have the chance to look for a job in the US, but I won't always be able to go to South Africa on the government's dime. And honestly, I'd prefer to go thousands of miles away and get paid close to nothing if it means doing something I'm interested in, rather than staying close to home and accepting a job which is only willing to pay me about half of what I should be making.

According to the job description the PC gave me, it seems like I'll be doing a lot of inventory management, particularly with antiretrovirals. You don't really need a pharmacy degree to do that, which is why the position also asked for nurses as I'm sure they're much easier to come by in the PC. In fact, I didn't even meet all the necessary requirements for the position. They wanted somebody with hospital and management experience, but again, how many pharmacists are you going to find that would be willing to take this job? Need I remind you that not only do you have to be a pharmacist, but you must also have been a former volunteer. In addition, PC is looking for more than one person to fill this position at another government hospital.

As for me, I'll be located in Flagstaff in the Eastern Cape, about 10 hours south of Johannesburg and 3 hours west of Durban. I got in touch with some of the people I'll be working with, and it seems like I'll have more responsibilities than I thought. I'll be working with other physicians and pharmacists to help create a formulary for the hospital. They're also going to train me on the computer system, and I'll have the opportunity to travel around the country to visit the other clinics. It'll definitely be different from what I was doing before, and best of all, I'll be able to put my pharmacy knowledge to good use. Maybe now too, I can say that I have some "hospital experience" albeit in another country and only for a few months. I'm told that I'll have regular access to the Internet as well, which will be a welcome change from before.

Originally I wasn't thrilled about leaving again so soon, but as the day approaches, I'm getting more and more excited about it. The biggest deterrent was what to do with Rex. I spent so much effort getting him here and I didn't want to bring him back to Africa for such a short period of time. Plus, there's no guarantee that I would've been able to get him out of the country. Ultimately, my parents agreed to watch him for me while I'm gone. They've grown to love him and he them. I just can't stay at home for the next six months doing nothing. I'll go crazy and I know I'd regret it if I gave up this position. Besides, it's more in line with my long term goals, especially if I want to continue working internationally.

The only thing I have to worry about now is packing. I can't even tell you the déjà vu I've been having because of it. I'll only be gone for five months though, so I don't imagine I'll need a whole lot of clothing. Plus, it's summer now in South Africa. At least it won't be as hot as it was in Benin. I've heard it's usually in the 70s or 80s.

As for the Virginia and DC law exams, I have to retake the Virginia one. I needed a 75 to pass and I got a 70. Virginia isn't on the MPJE, so they have their own separate exam. I focused too much on federal and not enough on state laws. The questions they asked were really specific though involving a lot of numbers. The only way I would've known the answer was if I had gone through the material with a fine tooth comb...and reading the material is about as interesting as watching paint dry. At least now I know what to study. The only problem is I have to wait at least a month to retake the exam. I took it on December 2nd. A month would be January 1st, which of course is a holiday. The nearest testing center only offers it on Friday which means I take the exam on the 6th and then leave on the 7th. The good news is I'll know immediately whether or not I passed, and I can retake it as many times as I want. I just have to pay the $112 fee, but my application is only good for a year, which means I can retake it up to a maximum of 11 times before reapplying. I'm hoping it won't come to that though. As for DC, their application process is much more complicated. I need to have both state and federal finger printing done, which is stupid, as I've now done that twice already with the PC, and yet they still want me to do it again. It doesn't look like I'll get the results back in time, which means I'll have to extend the application for an additional six months (it's originally only good for three). It's ridiculous how much the entire process costs. Transferring a license to another state costs at least $500 for each one.

Well, I made it! I survived two years in Benin as a Peace Corps volunteer. I’m one of the elite 21 from my stage that made it to the very end and will COS on time. The only thing I had left to do today was to see Iffy and have her sign some paperwork, which took all of 2 minutes. After that, I officially became an RPCV! To celebrate, I went to get a massage at this place that everybody raves about. The woman asked me for 15 mille, and I told her it was only 10 (it was even written on the wall as 10 mille). Eventually she agreed, but the massage was only for 30 mins, when everybody else got a full hour. Whatever. It was still relaxing. I had never gotten a massage before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. They rubbed oil on me from head to toe and front and back. Then they wiped it off with hot towels. After the massage, I went to Marché Ganhi one last time. I wanted to buy a map of Benin to accompany the map of Africa I bought, but I didn’t want to go back to the Artisan’s Market. Sometimes you can find the same things at Ganhi for cheaper. I did find a map I liked, but the woman wanted 7 mille for it, and I was only willing to pay 5. I didn’t buy it. No biggy. Then, I went to the airport to do early check in, and then headed back to the apartment to pack up all my things after getting some yam pilé one last time. I had to leave some things behind, like the big statue I bought at Lissa’s post. I didn’t have room for it and the one that I got from the health center staff was nicer anyway. I wanted something light for dinner, so I got some teboule at Roi de Schwarma. Finally, I went to the airport where Kara, Lissa, and a few other volunteers waited for me to say goodbye. Even at the airport, up until the very last minute, I encountered a bunch of “Beninese-isms.” The guy who checked in my baggage wanted me to pay an additional 90,000 CFA for Rex. I was worried something like this would happen, which is why I verified at the Air France bureau earlier in the day that they had his reseveration in the computer, which they did. I showed him the receipt which fortunately I kept. Even though I already paid and it was recorded in the computer, I’m sure he would’ve made me pay again had I not shown him the receipt. Another volunteer had left a giant mask behind that I really liked and decided to take with me. It wouldn’t fit in any of my suitcases and I couldn’t bring it as my carryon. Thus, the guy suggested that I attach it to another suitcase with saran wrap. I asked him how much this would cost, and he said 10 Euros. To wrap saran wrap around a suitcase?! I pointed out the sign and asked him, “then how come that sign only says 3 Euros?” I used up every single CFA I had but fortunately had some left over Euros, so I settled on five. Even still, the guy wanted more money, and then was appalled when I gave him coins instead of bills. Whatever dude. Take what you can get. Once I checked in all my luggage, I had to bring Rex around to a side area. The guy who showed me the way kept kicking his cage, and I told him to leave him alone. The dog wasn’t doing anything to him. How would he like it if I did it to him? The guy made a big stink, and I told him to shut up. He was just jealous that the dog gets to go to America and he’s stuck in Benin. Finally, after I passed the security check point and ran my bags through the medal detector, someone on the other end takes my passport, takes a good look at me and says, “Are you Vietnamese?” I was like, “WHOA!” Nobody’s ever asked me that before! I always get Chinese or Japanese, but never Vietnamese! Of course the one time I’m in touch with my cultural identity in this country, I’m about to leave it. Anyway, that’s all for now. Thanks for following me through my journey with the Peace Corps! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

Kevin called me last night around 9 PM to say hello. He’s a good guy, and I’ll miss him. He got me feeling nostalgic, so I called Matti and Henri’s family as well. The kids were already in bed, so they called me back the next morning. The conversation simply consisted of: Them: Bonjour Monsieur!

Me: Bonjour! Comment ça va?

T: Ça va bien. Merci. Et vous.

M: Ça va.

T: Au revoir!

...dial tone...

Beninese people are really into saluating. They won’t talk on the phone for hours like Americans do. Kids talk even less. I imagine that when I call them from America, the conversations will be similar to that one. I didn’t have that much to do today in terms of COS procedures. I met with the doctors in the morning and they gave me a bunch of paperwork to fill out about health insurance after Peace Corps. They gave me some prophylactic malaria medications as well. I returned my mailbox and locker key to Geraldine, and then waited around for Iffy for final approval. I technically could’ve COSed today, but Iffy said to come back in the morning since she had to leave a little bit early. No worries. I went to the Artisan’s Market instead. I was glad it was the last time I’d ever have to go. They’re like vultures there. I went looking for a particular mask that I saw in Ouidah, but didn’t have the money for at the time (I bought the Egungun instead). It was very African looking. It had a long ovular face decorated with beads and crafted with animals. I couldn’t find it anywhere, but I did happen to see a really nice Tintin painting that someone drew of him in Benin (I doubt there was ever an “Adventures of Tintin in Benin” book), so I bought that instead. I’m gonna give it to my uncle. He loves Tintin. I also bought a giant hand sewn map of Africa.

I had my appointment this morning with Bob, the Country Director. It was much more relaxed than I thought it would be. We ended up talking about his dogs and Johns Hopkins (his wife is an alum). We talked a little bit about work too and whether or not I thought it was a good idea to partner PCVs with health centers. I told him no because most of the volunteers that work at health centers, like myself, aren’t that useful. There’s not as much work to be done as most people think. Afterwards, I went to the bank to close my account. I brought my Ipod Shuffle with me and a book, as I was expecting a long wait as usual. Miraculously, I was able to get my money and close my account in 30 mins. Kara was stuck there for an hour and a half yesterday. I have about 65,000 CFA left. In the afternoon, I hung out with Kara in Haie Vive. She’s house sitting right now. I always get depressed everytime I see the houses in Haie Vive, as they’re absolutely ridiculous. They’re bigger than a lotta homes in the states, and all I keep thinking about is how people live in village. Can you imagine the reaction of a petit if he were ever to go inside? They’re like mansions even to me. I’m a little bit worried about readjusting to life in the states. Mainly, I feel like it’s gonna be lonely. I’ll have no one to talk about my experiences with or nobody that could understand at least. There aren’t that many PCVs in the Jersey area, but there are tons from Benin in DC, where I’ll be shortly. I’m concerned about Rex too. For starters, he doesn’t eat any Yovo dog food I give him, even when I mix it with Beninese food. I’m hoping he’ll at least eat wet dog food. In addition, I dunno how he’s gonna react to other people. He’s been very temperamental recently, even with other volunteers, who he generally doesn’t mind. It’s gonna be hard to find somebody to dog sit for me.

As part of the COS process, we’re expected to spend our last few days in Cotonou returning things and getting various documents signed. We were given five days per diem, but since yesterday was Labor Day, I didn’t get there until today. I’ve been to Cotonou dozens of times before, but this time has particular significance because it’ll be the last time I’m here for a while. Plus, I’ll no longer be going back to post. Last night I had dinner at Matti’s house. His mom made me egbaylee, which is a combination of corn and manioc. I wanted to spend as much time with them (and with Henri’s family) as possible. At around 10 PM, I returned home to pack up my things. I said my goodbyes and told them I probably wouldn’t see them in the morning as I was leaving around 7. Yet lo and behold, at 5:30 in the morning, a cadre of petits rang my doorbell and woke me up. I honestly wasn’t expecting them to get up that early themselves, but they wanted to be sure they could see me in the morning and say goodbye one last time. (Incidently enough, last night was the first night Oro came out in my village. They pushed the whole “fête” back an entire month this year because of Ramadan.) When my chauffeur eventually came, I gave them all hugs and told them I loved them and would miss them. A few started to cry, and I got a little emotional as well. As the car drove off, they all chased it down the block screaming. I’m really gonna miss my village. Having Rex with me helps a lot. He rode with me today in the front seat. It was his first time ever going out of village. I was worried he was gonna pee or throw up in the car as Lucas, Tracie’s dog from up north, gets really bad car sickness. But to be fair, the roads are much worse where she is. He was pretty excited though. He kept sticking his head out the window, and I had to keep pulling him back cause I was scared he was gonna jump out. He’s never seen himself either, so when he looked in the side mirror, he thought it was another dog and started barking like crazy. He’s not allowed to stay at the workstation, so a friend of mine is letting me crash at her place with him. She’s got a kitty, and they’re not getting along very well. I leave Rex tied up, but the cat wanders around. It only becomes an issue when I feed Rex, as I usually give him some fish, of which, the cat also always wants. I give him some too, but he always comes back to Rex’s bowl even though he hasn’t finished his portion. This of course gets Rex really pissed. He doesn’t like anybody getting near him when he’s eating (except me) and he growls and will snap at people. He’s essentially harmless though – all bark and no bite. Today, I returned all my books and PC stuff like my helmet, mattress, gas bottles, etc. They started a new tradition last year where COS’ing (not ETs) volunteers would be “gonged out.” It takes place every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday during the COS weeks. Basically all it is is the staff goes around thanking the COSing volunteers for their service. Any PCVs that are there that day also say a few words. I’ve been to three. It gets kinda long and tedious, so I bailed on the one today. I really wasn’t feeling it, and besides, I’m not that close to the volunteers that were COSing. I specifically asked not to have one for myself. PC staff doesn’t like me as it is, and my circle of friends in PC is relatively small. Anybody that I’m close to has already left, except for Kara, and I know that she and I will keep in touch.

So I’m down to my last 24 hours at post, and I’m not as emotional as I thought I’d be. I think I’m just really looking forward to going home. I’m sure I’ll start to miss my village more as soon as I get resettled in America. Kara’s designing my “Tchaada” tattoo for me. I told her I wanted it in script bubble letters with the Beninese flag colors inside and “2009-2011” underneath. I’m probably gonna get it under my right armpit along the rib cage. It’ll hurt, but it’s the only place left that I can conceal and won’t change drastically over the years. It’ll be my tenth (and hopefully last) tattoo, so it’ll be a big one. I’ve been waiting to get another one for a while now, but nothing has come to me until just recently. I think it’ll be therapeutic too in terms of helping me readjust and move on. I’ll miss my petits the most, especially Henri and Matti. Children are incredibly resilient though, and they’ll soon forget about me much quicker than I will them. I’m pretty good at keeping in touch though. It’s one of my stronger assets. It’ll be hard since most people don’t have PO Boxes or email addresses. I’ll have to rely on the phone, and as I’ve come to learn here, reception is always a crap shoot. I can’t wait to get back to a plan that has unlimited nights and weekends. No more of this paying as you go nonsense. I’ll need something with unlimited texting too. I really wanted to get an Iphone, but supposedly it’s like $100/month. I can’t afford that. I need to purchase health insurance too, which’ll run me an additional $200/month, practically my entire readjustment allowance each month. God. How am I gonna survive in America? I forgot how expensive crap is. ::Sigh:: I’ll miss the health center staff too and the CA. I will come back one of these days, but probably not for at least another three years. Hopefully I can find a job that will send me back here. If not, I’d probably take a vacation somewhere and stop by Benin on the way. It seems expensive to spend close to $2000 to just come back and visit my village without having some other incentive or thing to do while I’m here.

I had my COS interview with Christian today. He asked me what I was most proud of, and I told him all the relationships I’d formed in my village and with other volunteers. I’m sure I’ve made improvements in the health situation here, but I’ll never see it. I tend to only measure what I can see – like the fact that to this day, I still can’t get Matti to sleep underneath a mosquito net or the same women are force feeding their children even after I’ve told them to stop and use a spoon several times. I will agree that more children have completed their vaccinations because of me. When I first arrived, only about 20 people would come on vaccination days, and now we have over 50 each week. He then asked what I would have done differently during stage now that I know what I know, and I responded that I would have lower expectations about work. I also told him though that work is only 25% of the PC experience. The other 75% is about community integration, and to that extent, I have succeeded fully. He’d be hard pressed to find another volunteer more loved in their village. As to my biggest challenge, I told him flat out chaleur. Hands down. What have I learned from the experience? I know what I want to do now with my life, which is a big plus. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed the international work and would like to end up abroad again in the future. What would I change about stage? I’d definitely bring back family planning and focus less on HIV/AIDS. I went on for about five minutes about how family planning was such a big issue since it seems like nobody in village can support their children. And for the most part, the problem lies with the men. They’re not the ones taking care of the kids. They’re not the ones getting pregnant. I had brought this issue up earlier with Christian and he mentioned using a technique called positive deviance. My CA would’ve been the positive deviant, but he too has a second wife (I’ve never officially asked him about it. I have such a high standard of him that I don’t want to ruin it. Lissa informed me though that one of the people that works with her at the CEG is his second wife because he’s been trying to get her pregnant). What advice do I have for Christian as an APCD? Don’t punish people for being honest and respond to VRFs and emails in a timely manner. With that, I brought up stage and how I was still upset I wasn’t chosen, especially since two of the people that were ET’d, and another one had already worked stage the year before. He said ultimately the decision wasn’t just up to him, and it wasn’t just about the work done in village, but the volunteer’s attitude too. I told him I could understand that, but he also needed a fair balance. I felt completely mislead during our training. I wish I had had someone who could’ve been more honest and was like, “Listen, this is how work really is like in Benin...” After my interview, I went to see my host family in Porto Novo one last time. Everytime I visit them, they always tell me how mad they are that the volunteer that stayed there before me never calls them from America. I had to explain to them that for some volunteers, they’re just not that close to their host families. I certainly wasn’t during training, and the only reason why I stayed in contact was because I live so close to Porto Novo. I know I will end up missing people more in village than I do my host family. They gave me some bisap leaves as a parting gift.

I’m bringing Rex back with me to the states. He’s been such a huge part of my service that I can’t possibly imagine leaving him here. The cage is a little small for him, but he’ll have to make due. If he lies down in it, he should be fine. I’ve been preparing his paperwork as well to get ready for my departure. I already got him vaccinated against rabies in addition to a bunch of other vaccinations (kennel cough, distemper, etc), which I don’t really need. Whatever. I’ll have to get them for him when I return to the US, and I’m sure they’re much cheaper here. In addition, I need to get him a certificate of good health. The vet that most of the expats use, who coincidently enough is named Dr. Yovo, is located on the road from Porto Novo to Cotonou. He’s closer to Cotonou though than he is to Porto Novo, and I was hoping to find one nearer to me. (I tried to call my vet that vaccinated Rex, but I couldn’t get through. I also found out later that he got moved to Sakaté). Thus, I went to Porto Novo today completely on a whim to look for a vet. I walked into the first office I found, and it just so happened that the vet in charge was the same one that signed off on all of Rex’s vaccinations! (The guy that comes to my house to actually vaccinate Rex is more of an apprentice). What are the odds?! Life rarely hands you such lemons in Benin. Anyway, the vet said it wouldn’t be a problem. I just have to pay 10,000 CFA for the health certificate. I dunno why, but I was expecting something like all the certificates that PC gives us. “Congratulations! This dog is in good health and is able to fly!” As it turns out, the “health certificate” is nothing more than a standard form for international travel with dogs, cats, and ferrets to the European Union. It’s something I could’ve just printed out online and filled out myself, but at least now I have the vet’s stamp. Supposedly they don’t even look at the health certificate as all of the pertinent information is already in his health carnet. I may have to make up a microchip number for him though. My health center had a going away party for me today. I had some serious déjà vu. It was much like the welcoming party they threw for me when I first came to village during post visit. All the village chiefs were there as well as the health center staff. My homologue talked about the work that I had done and everyone went around thanking me. I also said a few words myself and thanked everybody for their kindness and hospitality. I told them that I’ve had a very memorable time in Tchaada and that I would never forget them. In fact, one of my first purchases back home would be a tattoo of the village name, that way, it would always be with me. I promised to return one day and to keep in touch as best as I could. Afterwards, we took some photos and had some amiwo. They even got me a gift! I wanted to open it in front of everybody, but apparently, that’s considered rude here, so I waited until I got home. They got me a boomba made of bazin tissue (I was secretly hoping for some Vlisco as I had mentioned it to them earlier). It’s more plasticy and shiny and less breathable and stretchy. It’s more expensive though and people that wear it are usually of a higher status. It’s a little bit tight putting on and taking off (I honestly dunno how they got my measurements), but it fits well more or less. I brought it to the tailer I usually use to see if he could make it just a little bit bigger but he said he couldn’t. That’s okay. I don’t imagine I’ll be wearing it much in America. I also received a really nice ebony statue of a woman carrying a basin on her head and a baby on her back. It’s very African. Coincidentally enough, I bought something very similar to it just a few weeks ago, although it’s much larger. I think the one they gave me though is nicer and I’ll probably end up keeping that for myself and giving the other one away. I’m practically done packing, although I don’t have that much room left. One of my suitcases is on the heavier side, and I just hope it’s less than 23 kg. If not, the other one weighs a little bit less and I’ll just have to transfer some stuff. I bought a bow and arrow randomly when I was in Kandi. I left it at the workstation cause it was too big to carry back with me, and now I just hope there’s room. If not, I might bring it on as my carryon. I have about 70,000 CFA left to spend while I’m in Cotonou. I already know I wanna get yassa one night (really good Senagalese food), yam pilé, and eat at this restaurant owned by one of the Mama Modèles (the same one that signed off on the Camp GLOW PCPP). They just recently opened up a sushi place in Haie Vive, but I’m skeptical. Besides, I’d rather wait until I get home to have some good sushi. I feel like I should fill up on everything African while I’m here. I kinda wanna do some souvenir shopping still, but again, I don’t really have that much room left in my suitcases. I bought a small mask when I was in Tanguieta, but now I want a bigger one. I also want to get one of those banners with the map of Africa or Benin. They’re kinda childish looking, but they’re neat. I heard there’s a good place in Haie Vive too that gives good massages for only 5 mille, so I kinda wanna check that out. Plus, there’s a shop that makes everything out of tissue like aprons, Ipod pouches, mouse pads, etc. I’m sure they’d make good gifts.

Today is the first day of my last full week at post. I’m moving all of my stuff out on the 6th and spending three days in Cotonou to get all my COS paperwork signed. My house is almost all packed. I’m leaving all my furniture for Kalyn and anything else I don’t want to bring back with me, I’m giving away. I’ve been spending more and more time with the health center staff and with my favorite families au village. They’ve been making me some of my favorite Beninese meals like pâte rouge (amiwo), pâte noir (teliboh), and yam pilé (agoun). Honestly, the time feels right to go home. This time last year I wasn’t ready, and was even thinking about staying on for a third year, a decision which in retrospect, seems absolutely insane. I thought I would be one of those volunteers that would never want to leave or would be gung-ho Peace Corps until the very end, but I’m seriously checked out. I’m required to do another VRF before I leave, and I just wrote, “See other reports” for every single response. I purposely refused to do the all volunteer survey (AVS), which for whatever reason this year, staff was on our ass about doing. We got several emails about it and Christian called me at least three times to remind me. It’s obvious they were getting some type of incentive or pressure from Washington about it. Even the CD offered a dinner lottery at his house if more than 70% of the volunteers did it. Last year only 30% of the volunteers responded, and no one seemed to care. This year, because of all the hounding, we had a 72% response rate, but I knew that even if I had filled it out, nothing would change. I have my exit interview with Christian this week, and I’m wondering if I should just bite my tongue, or really let him know how I feel about everything. I’m COSing soon, so what could he possibly do to me? I’ll be sure to bring up my anger, bitterness, and fostering resentment sill about not letting me work stage.

The Beninese have strong beliefs about many things. That’s been one of my biggest obstacles – getting people to question some of these far fetched beliefs, like you can get malaria from eating certain foods. Among other things, the Beninese believe in the power of “le bon medicament,” better known as Sodabe. It’s nothing more than moonshine liquor, and this stuff fucks you up! The first time I had it was during stage at Ragan’s birthday party. Granted it doesn’t take much to get me drunk, but I had about three shots and was completely plastered. Ever since then, “Sodabe Lou” has developed kind of a reputation. Needless to say, the Beninese drink Sodabe all the time because they think it can cure their ailments. Often times they’ll sell them in big liter bottles with roots inside. They drink it at all times of the day, mostly men of course. They sometimes call me over to talk to them, and I can smell it on their breath. I don’t even bother trying to have a conversation with them at that point. Matti has malaria again. I’ve lost count now of how many times he’s contracted it. It’s only him that gets sick in the family, even though none of them sleep underneath the three mosquito nets they have. He’s probably the most susceptible because he’s the youngest. Nobody knows exactly how old they are in Benin, but I’d guess he’s around six. Anyway, instead of taking him to the health center for treatment, his mother bought him random drugs at the marché, all for anemia. In addition, she rubbed Sodabe all over his body and face. He had a fever of 102º, so I guess this sort of makes sense since it is alcohol and has a cooling effect, but it just goes to show you that Sodabe can be used for anything here. I’m tired of lecturing that family on malaria. I gave him Tylenol and that was it. Last time I took him to the health center myself and paid for all his treatments, and I refuse to do it again. Even though I love Matti, he’s no longer my problem. I’m going to be leaving soon and no one else will be able to look after him once I’m gone. If they don’t want to listen to me, it’s not my problem. I’ve done everything possible.

Word has started to spread that I’ll be leaving soon. Because of that, more and more people have started to approach me to ask for gifts to, “remember me by.” I always reply, “Why do you need a gift to remember me? Where’s my gift to remember you? You already have memories of me. That’s good enough. They last forever. Gifts and objects fade.” But of course, this response never satisfies them. Even my host family in Porto Novo asked for my pots and pans, and was shocked when I refused and told them I’d be leaving them for my replacement. Honestly, since I’m leaving, I wouldn’t mind giving people things, but what infuriates me most is when they blatantly ask for gifts and expect to receive them. It’s been two years, and they should know me well enough by now to know that I rarely give out caudeaux, especially if they ask for them. With that said, I’ve decided to leave a few things for some select people. For Henri and Matti’s family, I developed photos for them of me and some of the kids together. I did it in Cotonou at a Fuji film store run by a Lebanese guy. Normally it’s 300 CFA for a photo, but PCVs get a discount of 250 CFA. It’s still relatively expensive since in the states you can get them developed for less than 30 cents. In village, it costs 400 CFA to develop a photo, and the quality is never as good as with a digital camera. I also gave them random things around the house that I will no longer need, like batteries, light bulbs, flashlights, and PC reading material. They can’t understand any of it, but they like to play with the binding and look at the drawings and photos if there are any. Kevin’s been really great to me the last two years, so I wanted to give him something really nice, so I gave him one of my Seiko watches (I brought two with me to country incase one of them got stolen or went missing). Unfortunately, it’s a little bit small for him and I didn’t bring any extra clasps. Hopefully he can find a jeweler in Cotonou to make it bigger for him. I’m also leaving him one of my suitcases. The zipper doesn’t really work that well anymore, but I’m sure he can find someone to fix it for him. I already have two other suitcases I’m bringing back with me, which are filled with nothing more than the 30+ pairs of underwear I brought with me and never wore, and random souvenirs for myself and other people. For the health center staff, I’m giving my Ipod and speakers to the pharmacist (Papa Lolo), my pocket knife to Daagbé (the other pharmacist), an alarm clock from Brookstone to my homologue, a poncho for the sage femme, my digital camera to Mama Prudence, some cooking supplies to Mama Peace, and some Yovo music CDs to Babajee. I still have to think of things to give to Mama Nadia and Chancelline, but I’ve run out of ideas. I gave most of my Beninese clothing to the students next door. I’m only taking back two boombas with me. I timed my COS date just a few weeks before my birthday. I knew I would be getting rid of a lot of valuables, and now I can ask for newer updated models of things I’ll no longer be able to afford, like an Ipod/phone and digital camera. My cash-in-lieu amount was around $2100. The Air France ticket I bought was around $1900 after taxes and international conversion fees, so I made $200, but that money went to paying for Rex’s ticket. In the end I ended up losing around $3.50, but whatever. I still haven’t received my readjustment allowance yet (1/3 of it will arrive a week or two before I COS and the remainder will come afterwards). It’s just over $6000, but it’ll be less after taxes and I’ll have to pay for health insurance using that money. I’m expecting to take home around $5000, which won’t last me more than two or three months in the states. If I did a third year, I would make over $12,000, but that would mean having to sign on for an additional 13 months (I’d get one month of home leave). To me now, that seems like a lot of money, but it’s actually nothing considering all the things that we go through as PCVs. The readjustment allowance used to be $225 a month ($6075 total for twenty seven months). In April 2010 they bumped it up to $275/month ($7425 total). It’s not retroactive, so I’ll be getting a combination of the old and new rates. As a third year PCV, I would get $375/month ($12,300 for total 40 months). I don’t have any big plans yet for my arrival back to the states. I wanna say I’m gonna eat my face off, but I have to be careful of my diet now, especially since I’ve gained so much weigh in Benin (16 pounds!). Ten of those pounds are from when I went home in December. I wanna spend a month just chilling out catching up with friends. In particular, I wanna go to San Diego to visit someone who just bought a house and had a baby. There’s an RPCV career fair in NYC on the 16th that I signed up for. I’m not really interested in any of the employers that will be there, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to go. Plus, I can spend the weekend hanging out with friends that are in the area. Johns Hopkins is hiring pharmacists at their university hospital, so maybe if I get a job with them, I can get some type of tuition discount or something. I’ll have to transfer my pharmacy license to Maryland first, which requires at least 520 hours of pharmacy practice post grad. I doubt my experience with the PC qualifies. Ideally I don’t wanna start working until January, but I’m sure my money will run out by then, my parents will be up my ass about finding a job, and I’ll be bored. At this point, retail seems like the easiest option, but it feels like a giant step backwards. I joined the PC to get away from retail pharmacy, and now I’m going back to it. Whatever. It’ll only be temporary.

Over winter break of my freshman year in college, my parents and I took a three week vacation to Vietnam. It was the first time I had ever been there, and the first time my parents returned since the war. After doing Peace Corps, I can appreciate much more the struggles my parents endured. I would love to go back since now, after practically living like a peasant for two years in a third world country, I would view the country differently. The first time I went, I was essentially a tourist, awed by the sites but staying in five star hotels. My parents themselves admitted that they could no longer imagine living there. They’re far too American now. We did an entire tour of the country, starting from Ho Chi Minh City and working our way up to Hanoi. We went in December and yet, in HCM, it must have been at least 95 degrees. I remember not wanting to leave my hotel room since it was so hot and humid (something now I’m certainly used to). Hanoi, in contrast, was cold. We had to buy sweaters. We also visisted the beach city, Nha Trang, where I got an ear infection. We went to the local health clinic, and as an American, were allowed to cut everybody else in line. The treatment only cost $1 USD.

Cotonou reminds me a lot of HCM City. There are motos everywhere and pollution galore. Nobody obeys traffic signs. The main market, Ben Thanh, is a cluster fuck like Danktokpa. There are hordes of people everywhere grabing you as you pass urging you to buy things. I remember wanting to buy some XL clothing, but the biggest they had was large. The vendor told me that she had bigger sizes in the back, so she went to retrieve it. When she returned, she brought the exact same size claiming it was bigger, but she simply had written an X in front of the L with a sharpie.

Vietnamese food is so good, and granted I may be partial, most of my non-Vietnamese friends would agree. I’m not a big fan of pho. I think the rice dishes are better. I can’t wait to go home and have some good Vietnamese home cooked meals. The food in Vietnam was so cheap. A big plate of rice would only cost a buck, and there was so much to choose from! There were even restaurants that sold dog, something I would never eat willingly. They have a big coffee chain called Trung Nguyen, which is essentially their equivalent of Starbucks. There was one on almost every corner. On the menu, you order coffee numbered 1-8, with #8 being the darkest and the most bitter. I noticed that next to number eight, in parenthesis, they had the world for weasel. I asked what this meant, and the waiter replied that the coffee grains were made from weasel droppings. Naturally, I was curious and had to try it. It was surprisingly good, but then again, I tend to drink my coffee fairly sweet. We even brought back a kilo of it to the states.

To get to Vietnam, it took about 18 hours. We flew west from New York to Seattle, Seattle to Taipei, and then Taipei to HCM City. Getting there I didn’t have any jet lag, but coming back was awful. It took me a week to readjust. Fortunately I still had a few days left of my winter break, otherwise I doubt I would’ve made it to any of my classes. I spent those first few days just sleeping and trying to reset my body clock. During our tour of the country, we took busses, trains, and even flew once. I don’t recall there being as many bush taxis, but the busses were just as ghetto as the ones in Benin. We flew to Hanoi in a decent airplane, and took an overnight train to Sapa in the mountains. In Sapa, young girls, maybe 14 years olds, carried their children on their backs.

There have been a few Benin PCVs, other than myself, that have visited Vietnam, either on their own or as part of a study abroad. None of them are Vietnamese, and thus, I’m a little amazed that they were able to do this, especially if it was on their own. I’m fairly fluent in Vietnamese, and yet, people had a difficult time understanding me because of my American accent, and vice versa. It’s doubtful you could get around knowing just English, except maybe in the bigger cities and that’s unlikely still. You’d be better off speaking French. When I went with my parents, they were essentially my tour guide. They still had friends and distant relatives where we would eat and spend time. They knew all the places to see, and returned to many spots from their childhood memories. I’m sure things have changed drastically over the last twenty years. I’m certain that Vietnam is better off than Benin now too. After all, there’s no Peace Corps presence in Vietnam. That could be because they have no need for volunteers or maybe they just don’t want American occupation again. If anything, it should be the Americans that are bitter about the war, not the Vietnamese. They did beat us after all, one of the few wars the Americans have ever lost.

I’m kinda fascinated by my parents’ exodus to the states. The stories they tell me are amazing, and I can’t even imagine what it was like to be there when Saigon fell. Needless to say, they’re lucky they got out. I don’t have any known relatives that are still living in Vietnam, just distant ones that I’ve never had contact with. My father fought for the Nationalist Army, and my mother graduated at the top of her class and was in cahoots with many of the social elites. I’m sure that helped when it was time for them to leave the country. My sister was two at the time.

Because of what my parents went through, I can understand them wanting me to choose a career that would ensure financial stability, hence, how I was drawn into the field of pharmacy (I’ll give you one guess as to what my parents did for a living...). But times are different now, and parents have a tendency to always pull the “When I was your age...” crap. But you can’t compare people of different generations. You have to compare people within the same generation. My parents still don’t understand why I joined the Peace Corps. They were only supportive (if you could call it that) of my decision because they never thought I’d actually go through with it. To quote my father, “Peace Corps is not something you should be proud of.” Like most Asian parents, they’re happiest and proudest when I’m doing something they want me to do. The fact that I got into Johns Hopkins, the number one school for public health and easily one of the top ten schools for healthcare in general, excites me much more than it does them. Again to quote my father, “Why do you want to get a public health degree? What are you gonna do with that? You should get an MBA instead.” I’ve never had a desire to go into business. My mind doesn’t think that way. I’m a man of science, and hopefully with my MPH in infectious diseases, I can continue working abroad, much to the disappointment of my parents wishes I’m sure.

I have about 100,000 CFA left in my bank account, or roughly $200 USD. Whatever I don’t use is essentially mine, unless there’s any extra money I have to pay back to Peace Corps. I’ve never been very good at saving my money, and this is true in Benin as well. Volunteers up north tend to save more since there’s less to buy. Living down south, things are more expensive, and I also have more access to fruits and veggies. I wasn’t gonna deny myself those things. Plus everytime I go to Cotonou, I end up spending a lot more money than I should. Originally, I was gonna use any left over money I had to buy souvenirs, splurge on my last week in Cotonou, or pocket it and bring back to the states. I decided, however, to put the money to better use and instead, am gonna pay the school fees for one of my petits, Henri. It’s a bad habit to give Beninese people money. They’ll expect it in the future, but at this point, it doesn’t matter since I’m leaving soon. Henri is the same petit that I took to Ouidah. He’s very bright and very sweet. He does everything for me. I know he’s a conscientious student because everyday, even during summer school, he sits in front of my house and studies by himself. He was #1 in his class last year. He goes to a private school in village, and for whatever reason, I feel like the education is better there, probably because there are fewer students. There were 30 in his class as opposed to around 50. Next year he’s entering CM2, equivalent to about fifth grade. He’s got four younger siblings, two others who go to the same school as him. His mother stays at home. She doesn’t speak French nor does she sell anything. Their whole source of income comes from the father who’s a mechanic in Porto Novo. I’m not sure how much money he makes, but the other day I saw him come home with over 300,000 CFA. The point is, he must be better off than most if he’s able to send three of his five children to private school (the other two are still too young). Regardless, I wanted to do something nice for him and offered to pay for Henri’s school fees for the upcoming year. I was worried he might think it charity, but he gladly accepted. I spoke with the director of Henri’s school, and for the entire school year, the contribution is 30,000 CFA. Since he will be taking exams next year (all students are required to take an exam their final year of primary school before entering CEG), he has to pay an addition 6,000 CFA to prepare all the documents and 2,000 CFA for photocopies throughout the year. There’s an additional 1,000 CFA insurance fee incase anything should happen to him on the way to or from school. If he gets injured, the school will pay for the treatment. Finally, there’s a 3,000 CFA field trip fee. Last year they went to Porto Novo. This year, the director said they’d most likely go to Ouidah. Since he’s already been with me, I decided not to pay this. The parents can always pay for it later incase he wants to go again or they go somewhere else. Thus, for 40,000 CFA (roughly $80 USD), I was able to provide his school fees for an entire year. If students don’t pay on time, they get sent home and aren’t allowed back until the money is in. Public primary schools are free, but then everybody has to pay a fee once they enter college (middle/high school). To me this is ridiculous. I think school should be free up until university level. Most people don’t have money to even pay for college, and thus, quit school with a fifth grade education level. What can they possibly do at that age but become apprentices? How can a poor country ever get better if so many of its citizens are uneducated or illiterate? I told Henri that if he ever wants to succeed in life, he has to get out of the village, and the only way to do that is to study hard and get a good education. If he’s lucky, he can find a job in Cotonou that maybe will send him to Europe or America to do business. I realize how important education is now, especially in third world countries. His mom doesn’t know any French, and his father only knows a little bit, so their work options are limited. Henri at least has a chance (Coincidently, every night, I also tutor him a bit on French and math. He helps me make dinner and I feed him, but only after I quiz him on various things). If he does well and passes his exams, which I’m sure he will, I even offered to pay for his first year of college. I can Western Union the money to Kalyn who can then pay for his contribution afterwards.

Kalyn spent the last few days in Tchaada on post visit. On Wednesday, she and the CEG director came to my house for a quick visit. I showed her some of my favorite spots to eat and buy random things around village. I also introduced her to some of my petits and mamas. In the afternoon, she visited the local police and met the mayor of Ifangni. On Thursday morning, she met the people with whom she’d be working at the CEG and in the afternoon, she and I just hung out talking. On Friday, she had nothing planned, so she helped me with baby weighings and vaccinations at the health center. I told her that if she didn’t have any classes on Friday and was looking for something to do, she could always do that. It would be a good secondary project for her as well. In the afternoon, we hung out at Sam’s place and watched Harry Potter with her repleacement, Megan. Saturday morning we all went to Lissa’s post to help do her grid for her world map. It’s so much easier doing it with more people. I did the whole thing by myself and it was painful. I don’t have much else planned the next three weeks at post, so I told her I’d go help her draw and paint if she needed it. In the evening, we were able to do the big dinner that we had planned. Sam made a salad, I made curry, and Lissa made brownies. Overall, I’d say the weekend went very well, and Kalyn seemed to like the village. I dunno if she’ll grow to love it as much as I did, but at least she doesn’t hate it. She admitted to me too that she was initially disappointed she would be so close to Porto Novo, as she thought it would be city like, but it’s not at all. It’s nice being so close though because whenever I have a craving for some veggies or wagashi, I can just hop on a zem and be there and back in an hour.

Post visit can be a traumatic experience for many people, and I predict one or two may leave as a result, but who knows? They haven’t lost anybody yet. This stage seems to be somewhat of an anomaly. I’ve had so much déjà vu this entire weekend as I still remember my post visit so vividly. I had a wonderful time during mine and that was because Kevin was so great. Kalyn didn’t go around from village to village meeting people like I did so she had a lot more free time. I tried to explain to people that she was not my wife, but rather, my replacement. God. That’s something that I will certainly not miss about this country. It’s impossible for men and women to just be friends in Benin.

With about a month left of my service, I can’t help but feel a little bit guilty for not spending more time at post. I’ve been sleeping there every night, but I’ve been making more frequent day trips to Cotonou and Porto Novo. I’m getting antsy, and I’m tired of sitting around all day doing nothing. I’ve been doing that for the last few months, and now it’s getting old. I need productivity. To be fair though, spending time with my favorite people often just entails me sitting there with Rex doing nothing. Most of my mamas don’t speak French, and only a few of my petits do. Even with the health center staff, they tend to socalize amongst themselves in local language, so I’m often left outta the loop. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. When it does come time for me to leave, it’ll be easier to say my goodbyes. I don’t want a big party. In fact, I’m sure most people don’t even know that I’ll be gone next month. Eventually they’ll catch on when they realize there’s a new Yovo in town.

I found out who my replacement is gonna be – a female volunteer named Kalyn. I had requested a male volunteer, so naturally, Peace Corps sends the exact opposite. As it turns out, all the male TEFL volunteers were placed up north, practically in the same region. In general, there are more male PCVs in the north for whatever reason. I actually met Kalyn during demystification. She seems really chill and I’m excited that she’ll be my replacement.

Needless to say, with a female volunteer here now, I’m sure the dynamic of the village will change and her experience will be much different from mine. I called the CA to give him a heads up, as I’m sure she’ll be harassed much more than I was. I don’t want her to have a difficult time with the pain in the ass students of mine that live next door either. Her sleeping outside may be more of an issue than it was for me. As selfish as this sounds, I’m kinda relieved that I’m being replaced by a female volunteer. For some reason, I feel like my favorite petits will like her less because of her gender since almost all my closest petits were male and platonic relationships don’t exist here. Regardless, you never forget the first volunteer.

I met up with Kalyn today in Porto Novo as I had some errands to run, and the TEFL group just happened to be at Songhai. I gave her my number and told her to call me next week when she’s free if she wanted to hang out and get a tour of the village. Sam, Lissa, and I had discussed having dinner together with all the trainees at my house one night. They’ll be here for five days. Kevin’s not gonna care, but I dunno where Sam’s replacement is staying and whether or not they’ll mind.

Today is Rex’s second birthday. I wish I had a birthday hat to put on his head...and maybe a cake and some candles. All I know is he was born sometime in August, so I just declared his birthday to be the same day as the Beninese Independence Day. This was my third one in country, and probably the most eventful. Year one was spent at my host family in Porto Novo. It was the weekend right after we had moved in. We just watched the parade on the television. Last year I went to Porto Novo to celebrate the 50th anniversary, but there were so many people that I couldn’t see anything. So again, I just went to a neighbor’s home and watched the parade on TV. This year the big festitivites took place in Natitingou (it changes every year). I had no desire to go (and technically we’re not allowed to travel our last three months at post anyway), so I celebrated at the mayor’s office in my commune! Each commune head usually organizes something. There were a few speeches by various people, and the mayor of Ifangni (the same guy that visited my parents in NJ) talked about all the developments made within the commune over the last year. Afterwards there was a miny parade with military personel and various artisans from the commune. Then, I got to eat at the mayor’s house with all the other VIPs. That’s one thing I’ll miss about this country – instant celebrity status wherever I go. In addition, I celebrated with Henri’s family for dinner. I bought them yams, so we made yam pilé!

The trainees find out their posts this Friday. I still remember how exciting that was. I recall my initial disappointment too when I realized how close my village was to Porto Novo (our training site), but it all worked out for the best. I wouldn’t trade my village for anybody else’s. I’m going to be replaced by a TEFL volunteer. I said I preferred a male volunteer, just cause this village is already used to having one. A female volunteer will undoubtedly face more harassment, but I suppose that’s true anywhere she goes. This region is so concentrated already with female volunteers, that it just makes sense to replace me by another male, but ultimately that decision is not up to me. There’re only four TEFL males though, two of whom I already met during “demystification” (they stayed at my postemate’s and I decided to go visit them). One of them wil definitely not be placed in my village because he wanted neither running water nor electricity. The other one is practically fleunt in French, and most of the better French speakers tend to be placed up north where they can learn more local language. Not that it really matters as a TEFL volunteer anyway. In school, everyone’s required to speak French. Next week, the trainees will spend several days at their posts. My replacement will be staying at my CA’s house for the duration. Initially it made more sense to me to have the volunteer stay at my house since he/she will be replacing me and I could show him/her the ins and outs of village. But this way, it may be less awkward. I’ll probably be very emotional and in the process of saying goodbye. It’s always difficult replacing other volunteers, especially one as popular as me (I hate to admit it). Everybody tells me that you don’t realize the impact you’ve made until you’re gone and people consistently talk about you. Regardless, I’m sure I’ll have some time with the volunteer while they’re here. The CEG director is from Porto Novo and doesn’t know the village as well as I do. I asked him what he intended to show the volunteer during his/her time here, and aside from the CEG, other villages outside the arrondissement. This didn’t make sense to me since he/she probably wouldn’t be working in any of them, but whatever. During my visit, I specifically remember going around to each village in my arrondissement and spending a day there greeting people and meeting the village elders and cheifs. This may not be that useful though to a TEFL volunteer who will be spending most of his/her time at the CEG.

Yesterday began part three of the nation wide campaign to distribute mosquito nets. I couldn’t actually get started until today because I didn’t have all the necessary paperwork nor the transport money. Originally PSI/ABMS had wanted volunteers to serve as supevisors that would pass from village to village managing other teams. This seemed superfluous to me though since the nurse and the midwife from each health center in each arrondissement would be doing this job already. I didn’t think it was necessary to have three supervisors, since the job simply entailed checking off boxes to yes or no questions. Thus, like usual, I ended up following different teams to the field helping out when I could. But of course, I wound up not doing that much since everything was done in local language and there was really no need for me. Regardless, I felt the need to put in my hours, especially since this time, PSI agreed to pay all volunteers for their help. At the end of the week, I’ll have close to 70,000 CFA, which is a nice chunk of change! Part three of the campaign involved going from home to home ensuring that the mosquito nets received were hung and being used properly. Villagers were also educated about malaria in the process and how to properly maintain the net for optimal use. My contribution included entering the homes to make sure the nets were hung and to hang those that weren’t. I was honestly surprised by how many people actually hung up their nets. Of the hundreds that I saw, only two or three of them needed placing. As tiring as they can be, I really enjoy doing these door to door campaings because it allows me to present myself to the community and to meet people that don’t normally come to the health center. I’ve discovered a few malnourished babies this way or children that haven’t completed their vaccinations. I encourage the mothers to bring their babies to the next vaccination day, and about half of them show up. In addition, during these campaigns, I get to visit parts of the village that I didn’t even know existed. Working with Beninese people can be frustrating at times because they do things that don’t always make sense. For instance, upon visiting each house, the head of the household was required to answer some questions like, “How many nets did you receive? How many people slept underneath a mosquito net last night? How many pregnant women are there in the home? How many children are there under five?” Everything was written in pen except the number of mosquito nets received, which instead, was written in pencil. This struck me as odd since we were all instructed during the training to do everything in pen. The reason I was told for doing it in pencil (which apparently only my health center did) was so that they could verify the information with what they had recorded earlier on when the nets were distributed. Okay, but then why couldn’t they do that in pen? I asked this question again and again and I would always get the same response or a convulated one. Eventually I just had to let the issue slide, but the reason why it bothered me so much is that they could easily bouffe the information later on simply by erasing what they wrote in pencil and writing down whatever they wanted in pen. At the end of the day, we were asked to check all the numbers we obtained to ensure that the number of mosquito nets distributed matched the number of nets received. There were several people who did not receive a net, either because they failed to get a coupon or they were unable to come during the days the nets were given out. So I asked if we should verify this information in the book as well. It’s possible that when we interviewed them for follow up, they could’ve lied and said they didn’t receive any nets when in fact they did. Somehow this didn’t seem important either. I’ve been slowly packing away my things to get ready for COS. It’s weird and making me very sad and nostalgic. I came to this country with two suitcases filled with stuff, but I anticipate leaving most of it behind. In terms of clothing, I’m just bringing back the 30+ pairs of underwear that I never wore and a few of my favorite boombas. The rest are just gonna be souvenirs.

Despite everything, I truly have enjoyed my Peace Corps experience in Benin. My village is what has made it worthwhile. And when I look back on my time spent here, I won't think about the number of times I've been accosted at the market or been called Yovo, but rather, I'll remember the people that have made a profound impact on my life. I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel like my village has made me whole. I’m confident too that some of my closest friends when I return to the states will be former PCVs. We've all been through so much together, and no matter how often you describe the experience to other people, it can't truly capture living and working in Benin. As I wind down to my last few weeks of service, I find myself spending more and more time with some of my favorite mamas and petits whom I know I will not see again for a while. I only hope that I have made the same lasting impression on them as they have on me.

This weekend, I took one of my favorite petits, Henri, with me to Ouidah. He’s ten years old, about to enter the fifth grade, and is at the top of his class. He speaks really good French as well. I only regret not getting to know him sooner, as we haven’t really bonded until the last few months. He’s never been before, and my friend, John Mark, was having a birthday party, so I thought I’d take him along as well. I wanted to skip all the touristy things like the python temple and the sacred ancient forest. I’ve already seen them, and I didn’t want to pay again. Instead, I took him to the music center where I occasionally work. I thought it would be more fun for him to get to see and play all the musical instruments, which surprisingly, he was able to name. I also let him play with the giant iMac. The kid’s never seen a computer before, except for my tiny laptop which can’t compare. The next morning, we went to the beach and took some photos. Again, the kid’s never seen the ocean before either. He was scared to even put his feet in the water because he thought the giant waves would swallow him whole. After a while I was able to convince him, but I underestimated the size of the wave coming towards us, and we both got a little wet. The only other time I’ve been to the beach at Ouidah was almost two years ago when we went during stage. For whatever reason, it was really crowded that day though. There were hundreds of people along the beach for some type of church outing. I remember there being a lot of cool things I wanted to buy as well, but of course at that time, I didn’t have any money. I was finally able to buy an Egungun that I’ve had my eye on. I showed it to some of the kids in my concession, and they all looked petrified. I told them that if they annoyed me, the spirit of the Egungun would haunt them in their dreams while they’re sleeping. Haha.

I spoiled Henri with a lot of foods that we can’t get in village, like yam pilé, and ablo. The kid can eat! For John Mark’s birthday party, we went with a Mexican theme, so we had guacamole, salsa, and tacos with wagashi and ground beef. Unfortunately we had to leave early because I had to get Henri back to his mom before nightfall. Overall, we had a great time though.

I just finished reading American Taboo about a Peace Corps volunteer that was murdered by another volunteer in Tonga in the 1970’s. The victim was stabbed 22 times, and the person responsible was ultimately acquitted due to insanity charges. Upon extradition to America, he was supposed to be admitted to a mental instution, but he refused, and that was the end of the story. He was set free and essentially got away with murder. Reading the book, I couldn’t help but think about what happened to Kate. I wasn’t here when the tragedy took place, but I’ve heard so much about it. According to other volunteers who knew her and were in country when she was murdered, the 20/20 documentary that aired was fairly accurate. Throughout the whole documentary, Peace Corps simply looked foolish, plausibly denying everything to cover their own ass. According to Philip Weiss, the author of American Taboo, the same thing happened in Tonga almost 40 years ago. “...Peace Corps would always put a higher priority on the life of the program in a country than it did on the health, safety, and welfare of other volunteers...” “They had covered the case up...to preserve their own careers, to preserve the American presence in the South Pacific, to preserve the churchly image of the Peace Corps.” The mosquito nets that were distributed just recently were part of a nationwide campaign. The first part entailed giving out coupons to claim the nets. Part two was actually obtaining them, and part three is follow up. I’ve been asked to help with the last part. With the help of PSI/ABMS, I’m supposed to supervise teams that will go door to door to ensure that the nets are hung and being used properly. It’s a five day follow up campaign, but they’re only doing it in the Ouémé-Plateau. I ran into some of the stagiers today while at Songhai in Porto Novo. There’re 54 of them. This is week three of training, and none of them have left thus far. That’s pretty good considering there’s almost always one person gone by the first week. They’re a very diverse group. There are a few African Americans, several Asians, and even an older Vietnamese volunteer. She’s 63 and her husband just recently passed away. Quite frankly, I’m surprised she’s even doing Peace Corps. My parents made it pretty clear that they have no desire to come to Africa after having grown up in similar conditions. After speaking with her though, she seemed kinda on the fence about the whole thing.

I had my COS medical examination today. My chauffer to Cotonou wasn’t an asshole this time, and in fact, may not have been a chauffer at all. I was the only passenger in the car, and it had a Togolese license plate. He was coming back from Nigeria on his way to Lome. I flagged the car down and he stopped. It’s actually kinda sketchy if you think about it. For all I know, he could’ve kidnapped me if he wanted to. I remained very vigilant the entire ride. That happens a lot of times here. We’re essentially hitch hikers. Unless you’re taking a Cotonou taxi (which are brightly colored green and yellow), you have no idea what cars are actually taxis and which ones are personal vehicles (although if someone drives by in a nice SUV, it’s pretty obvious). Supposedly taxi drivers have orange license plates (and the ghetto Peugeot from 1970), but that isn’t always a guarantee either. Fortunately I haven’t run into problems with strange chauffers taking be to back alleys, mugging me, and leaving me for dead, but hell. It’s possible. Why not? I think in this instance being Asian actually works in my favor as everybody assumes that if you’re Asian, you must know karate (which I do anyway). Sometimes when I walk by, people will actually call me Jackie (as in Jackie Chan) or do karate chops and make “hi-yah!” sounds.

Compared to other volunteers, I’ve had a fairly clean bill of health. I’ve been to the med unit a total of five times, and twice were mandatory. The other times were for neck pain, hearing problems, and the cantharide sting. The doctor informed me today that I’ve gained 16 pounds since I arrived in Benin. How is that even possible? Most men lose weight. I guess I should count my blessings since I haven’t had that much diarrhea nor worms (although I was diagnosed with giardia this time). I’m sure ten of those pounds were from my visit home. I still go running about three or four times a week for 30 mins. I’ve been cooking for myself a lot more though, which is probably why I’ve been eating more and gaining weight. I’ve also gotten into the bad habit of eating a lot late at night, just like the Beninese. Some of the clothes I brought with me to country I no longer fit in to, so I’ll have to make an added effort to get back into shape. I’m positive I’ll get even fatter when I come to America – pizza, cheese, and sweets galore!

Speaking of fat, Rex is starting to get big too. He’s getting to be a little bit small for the kennel I brought back with me, so I asked Lissa’s mom to bring me another one when she came to visit (I sold my old one to another volunteer wanting to bring back her dog). It turns out that the new kennel is the exact same size as the old one. I ordered it online through Amazon, and they advertised it as being 28 inches in length (Rex is 30 inches long and I figured I’d just make him squeeze a little). They neglected to mention, however, that it’s only suitable for dogs up to 24 inches. Had I known that, I never would’ve bought it. It was also supposed to be blue (another reason why I liked it) and the one they sent me was white. In a last ditch effort, I went to the Air France office to see if they had kennels in stock, and surprisingly they did. However, they too were not the right size. They were either too small or too big. Thus, it looks like I have no choice but to squeeze Rex into the one I currently have. It’s not that tight, but he doesn’t have that much space either. I figured though he’ll probably be lying down for most of the plane ride, and that should save some space as honestly, there’s nothing else I can really do at this point. Nobody that I know of is coming to Benin soon that can bring me another one. Also, most of the kennels the next size up are waaaay too big anyway, so this might just be better. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll have to put Rex on a diet too.

After six weeks, we finally distributed the mosquito nets that were promised at the end of the last polio campaign. We started at 7 AM, but I knew better and didn’t show up until 9. Somebody was responsible for educating the villagers on how to properly place the mosquito net and to encourage them to sleep underneath it each night to prevent malaria. They were warned that there would be periodic checks, and those that did not have mosquito nets hung up in their homes would have them taken away. Afterwards, they obtained their nets. During the polio campaign, in addition to vaccinating children under five, we went around to each home to ask how many people lived there. Also, how many pregnant women were there, how many children under five, and how many currently sleep underneath a mosquito net? Regardless of the size of the home (some had up to 30 people living there) each household could receive a maximum of 8 nets (it was 1 net for every 2 people). In typical Beninese fashion though, people wanted more and were upset that each person in the household could not get their own. The adage, "Beggars can't be choosers," clearly has no meaning here. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, it’s amazing how many people will come when you advertise free shit. There were hordes of people, and they don’t know how to form lines, so those that cut or just ran in front and handed me their coupon for nets, I refused and made them go to the very end. In my village alone, we gave out over 1200 nets in just one day. It’s a two day campaign, and I’m anticipating at least 10,000 nets being distributed throughout the entire arrondissement. My CA informed me though that not everybody received a coupon during the polio campaign. They’re shit out of luck cause it was for three days long and if they weren’t home when we went around, there’s really nothing else we could’ve done about it.

I hate coming to Cotonou now. I really do. It's sad. I used to enjoy my trips here, but now it seems like every time I go, something happens that always sets me off. The zems are always assholes and things are ridiculously expensive. It's made me appreciate Porto Novo that much more.

I had to come down for my last and final VAC meeting, only to return three days later for my COS medical. My chauffeur was being a total douchbag. The price from my village to Cotonou is 800 CFA. I've always paid that price for the last two years, but of course, I have to haggle first. Usually people will start at 1000 CFA or even as high as 1500 CFA, but I never have a problem paying 800. So today, before I got into the taxi I asked the chauffer how much it would cost. He said 1000 CFA and I said 800. He nodded his head in acknowledgement of the price so I put my stuff in the car and got in. When I arrived at Dantokpa in Cotonou, I gave the guy 1000 CFA and waited for my change. "Where's my money?" "I said 1000 CFA." "Yes, and I said 800 CFA." "Oh, I didn't hear that so it doesn't count. Besides from your village, it's actually more than 1000 CFA, so I cut you a deal." "What?! You're kidding me right?! I've NEVER paid more than 800 CFA. I know the price. Just because I'm white you think you can rip me off?! So not only are you dishonest, but you're also a liar, a thief, and deaf. You are not a good man. God is watching you right now. You will burn in hell!" In typical Beninese fashion, he just laughs at the insult. At this point, I'm so worked up that I grab the 500 CFA sitting on his dashboard, quickly vacate the vehicle, run, and get on a zem! Muahaha!

I'm so sick of the fucking bullshit here. Peace Corps would've told me that what I did was wrong, that I "shouldn't have gotten so upset over 200 CFA and put myself in a compromising situation," but 200 CFA to a volunteer is a lot of money (maybe if they paid us a little more I wouldn't care...). That will pay for a zem ride. Often times, I have EXACTLY 1000 CFA to get to Cotonou and then zem to the bureau, which is a considerable walk otherwise. PC always wants us to take this passive stance, but I'm not like that. I don't fucking play games with anybody. I hate being pushed around and I hate being taken advantage of just because I'm white. The chauffeur's need to learn. And you know what the problem is? It's the fucking tourists or all the snooty rich people that come to this country and just give them free shit. Now everybody has this sense of entitlement that just ruins it for the rest of us. That's exactly why I never give anybody anything.

Similarly, four other PCVs got robbed this week. Two in Djougou had all their shit taken from their rooms while they were sleeping at a hotel for fourth of July. Yesterday, a friend of mine, while taking another PCV to the airport at 4:30 in the morning, had her bag stolen right off of her. Two zems with passengers on them drove by, jumped off, grabbed their shit, hopped back on, and drove away. Fortunately the girl going to the airport still had all of her necessary documents with her and the one accompanying her was COSing that very same day. What a way to end your service! The last memory she has of Benin will be getting robbed in Cotonou. They took her ATM card and 50,000 CFA. I told Glenna that nothing would be more fitting at this point as this country (and Peace Corps) has had a way of screwing with her from the very beginning. It's largely why she left early. She might be the only person more jaded and bitter than I am. She's also lost more pets in this country than I have. She's got at least three cats and a dog to her repertoire.

Sunday June 26: - I arrive at 7:30 AM to start hanging up 60 mosquito nets. My face burns in the process from the insecticide in them. - Other volunteers start showing up periodically during the day with their girls. Some don’t come until Monday morning because of the spelling bee in Natitingou that weekend. In total, there are 15 volunteers, 49 girls, and 6 tutrices (one of which showed up three hours late). - I go over the goals and rules for Camp GLOW, speak with the tutrices about their responsibilities as role models, discuss the use of the facilities including toilets, and break up everybody into five different colored teams to do ice breakers. - Twenty Camp GLOW t-shirts disappear somehow. Monday June 27 - The opening ceremony starts at 9 AM. I have invited the US Ambassador to come, the mayor of Porto Novo, the director of the secondary education system in Porto Novo, the woman responsible for gender and development in Benin, the president of Mama Modeles, the Country Director of Peace Corps Benin, the Associate Peace Corps Director of education, and the Program and Training Assistant of education. Only about half of them show up. Two of them were supposed to give speeches and never came, thereby shortening the opening ceremony by about 10 mins. I don’t feel bad at all. I did my part and sent out the invitations. We take a group photo afterwards with all the honorable invites, the girls, the PCVs, and the tutrices. - Somebody from Care International comes to speak with the girls about women and children’s rights, staying in school, and sexual harassment. In the evening, the girls make beaded necklaces. At night, we have relay races. One girl falls down while running backwards and sprains her wrist. She doesn’t say anything until 2:30 AM when she wakes up screaming in excruciating pain. After 800 mg of ibuprofen and 500 mg of methocarbomate, she’s as good as new. Tuesday June 28 - The girls learn about puberty, reproduction, and hygiene as well as study skills and the importance of education. In the afternoon, we take field trips to the Royal Palace Musuem and Project Songhai where they take a tour of the agricultural center and learn how to use the Internet. There’s some confusion at the cyber café as they thought we start at 5 PM, but it was actually at 3 PM. At night, the girls watch Bend it Like Beckham until the surge projector blows out. Wednesday June 29 - In the morning, the girls visit the National Assembly and in the afternoon return to the Royal Palace Museum and Project Songhai (they were split into two groups so those that went to Songhai on Tuesday went to the museum on Wednesday and vice versa). I accompany the girls to the Royal Palace Museum where our tour guide is clearly annoyed with them. We encouraged the girls to ask questions because they would get points. The team with the most points at the end of the week would win a prize. The problem was, they asked ridiculously asinine questions, or would ask things that have already been asked or were just previously answered. Meanwhile at Songhai, the second tour guide never shows up. At night, they were given topics and were asked to come up with five minute sketches to present later on during the week. The topics included forced marriage, sexual harassment, hygiene, the importance of education, and women and children’s rights. Thursday June 30 - The water goes out at the center where we’re staying so nobody can take a shower nor flush the toilets. I decide not to have the girls run around and play soccer as planned, and instead, do my lesson on HIV/AIDS. I used the same exact outline as when I did my sensiblizations at the CEG in my village. The girls listened much more attentively though and did not ask nearly as many frustrating nor annoying stupid questions as most of my students do. A woman living with HIV comes to speak with the girls about her life with the disease. I hand out free Amour & Vie magazines and talk a little bit more about the program designed for teenagers to educate their peers on various health related topics. In the afternoon, the girls learn how to make collages, Fanmilk purses, and bookbinding. Following is another health lesson on nutrition by another PCV. I be sure to emphasize that force feeding babies can kill them and encourage all the girls to say something to their mothers should they see it happen. At night, the tutrices perform their own sketch on sexual harassment in schools. One of the PCVs DJ’s and we have a dance party with Beninese and Yovo music. The brand new speakers that were purchased last year for Camp GLOW blow out during Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance (to which, of course, I danced). They no longer work and the dance party ends early. Friday July 1 - A language facilitator from Peace Corps comes to speak with the girls about gender roles. Five professional Beninese women come to speak about their jobs and how they manage their personal and professional lives. The women include the president of Mama Modeles (She was the one who signed off on the Camp GLOW PCPP. She’s an entrepreneur. She owns a restaurant, a boutique, a hair shop, and is the daughter of one of the former Beninese ambassadors to the US), the lab technician from Peace Corps, the chef of the 2nd arrondissement in Porto Novo (who also served as a host mama during stage), a midwife (who too served as a host mama during stage and was responsible this year for all the catering), and the director of a CEG. In the afternoon, an RPCV from Benin who is back working with the World Food Program, comes to speak about financial planning and how to create a budget. The girls have a lesson on malaria from two PCVs and then play soccer. At night, they present their sketches. Since there’s a decent amount of money left from the PCPP, I take all the volunteers out for drinks to celebrate. Saturday July 2 - I announce which team has the most points (orange) and give them their prizes (a scientific calculator, a hard and soft cover notebook, a pen, a French/English dictionary, and a mathematical tools set). I give out certificates to all the participants and award the tutrices with bags that I bought them. Since the orange team only had nine girls, in typical Benines fashion, the tutrice asks if she can take the remaining prize for herself. I refuse outright and ask her what she intends to do with a bunch of school supplies to begin with. This tutrice sucked from the very beginning. She was the one who showed up three hours late and never participated in any of the sessions. She also asked me to pay for her transport back to village. Although I had more than enough money to do so, I didn’t want to out of mere principle. For starters, all the transportation costs for the girls and the tutrices were supposed to be covered from the mayor’s office in that village. In addition, it only cost a mille to get back to where she was going, and yet she claimed she had no money. How could she have come to Porto Novo without budgeting enough to come back? Plus, she saved a bunch of money by eating the food we had catered and by spending the night at the center. In the end, I relented, although not willingly nor happily. - Everyone leaves by 10 AM, but I am forced to stay another hour waiting for a photographer to arrive who took some photos of the girls and was busy developing them. The power went out which complicated matters even more as the machines to print photos stopped working. She runs the generator and arrives just as I’m about to leave. Overall, I’d say Camp GLOW 2011 was a huge success! Everyond had a great time, and I’m happy with the way things turned out.