At the beginning of September we made the trip down to Lilongwe for Banda’s visa interview! We had tried to get everything done during the August holiday but there ended up being so much to get done that it just wasn’t possible to fit it all in. We (though I only did 2) made 4 trips especially for it – 1 to Blantyre for the marriage certificate, 1 to Banda’s home village and then back to Blantyre for the birth certificate, 1 to Lilongwe for the doctor’s appointment and police clearance, and finally 1 to Lilongwe for the interview itself. There technically should have been 2 more but the Embassy people took pity on us and let us turn in the paperwork on the same day as the interview (it’s usually at least a week in between) and then they managed to print the visa in 2 days rather than a week. Oi oi oi. Turns out that between the visa fees ($825 alone!!) and all of the traveling and lodging costs, it’s cost us more within Malawi than the actual plane ticket will cost! But anyways, it’s worth it.

So we decided to take the night bus to Lilongwe because I hate traveling and figured it might make it easier if I could sleep through part of it. Plus then that’s one less night that we’d have to pay for a hotel. We got to Karonga town around 8:00 pm, the bus came at 8:30 and we were on our way by 9:00. Had some fun peeing behind the coke machine in the bus depot because the 24-hour public pay toilets were closed. Bonded with some fellow travelers by sharing toilet paper. Love it. Banda and I came prepared – I made tuna to eat as dinner on the bus and also made some boiled potatoes/tomatoes to eat at will. I drifted off about an hour in, slept through the hills, woke up around 1 am and simply could not go back to sleep. We got to Mzuzu around 3 am and sat in the depot for an hour or so. Finally fell back to sleep after we started the journey to Lilongwe. All in all I think I probably slept 6 hours. Not bad but it did wreck my body as I ended up dreadfully sick and still am, weeks later. Banda was a keeper – he let me drape my legs across his knees in an effort to stem my back pain. Considering that is was still shooting with pain the entire week, I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I’d had to stay upright in that seat for 12 hours!

Made it to Lilongwe on Monday morning. Wandered around for a while trying to find a hotel that was cheaper and closer to town than Mabuya (where the volunteers always stayed). Finally found a place that was alright, excepting the crazy owner who sat around all day in his bathrobe getting drunk. Ended up wandering around LLW all day trying to get the final things in order – picking up pictures to prove our relationship, making copies, etc.

Exciting times as we discovered a little alcove of used book stands within the bus depot market! I was so happy to see this. 1. Because I didn’t have to pay the exorbitant prices of the chain stores and 2. Just on principle it makes me happy that some people are making their livings spreading literature. And they had such a good understanding of their stock. So fabulous. Got a bunch of good technical books for the MIRACLE library with the leftover donation money. Highlight of the trip for sure. Also went to the stupid chain store to supplement the books and ended up spending at least 3 times as much. But there’s nothing else to do and the teachers are very excited about the purchases.

Tuesday morning was the interview. I was a nervous wreck but Banda was his typical calm self. The interview went very smoothly though. The guy was very nice and he barely asked any questions. So happy to hear that he was accepted!!

We had to hang around Lilongwe for a couple more days though while they printed the visa. I actually got sick on Monday so I spent most of the time curled up in bed, only going out for meals. Fine with me – not a fan of Lilongwe anyway. Went on Thursday afternoon to pick up the visa. Decided to wait until Friday morning to leave so we could just get an early start. Well we didn’t get an early jump because when I woke up that morning and was packing, I realized that Banda had left his x-rays at the bookshop. He needs these to pass through immigration customs in the U.S. Ai ai ai. So he headed back to the bookshop and waited for an hour for them to open. So we missed the early bus because we got to the depot around 8 am. Had to wait 2 hours for the bus to fill. Not good for someone who’s trying to time her last bathroom trip perfectly so that I can make it. Ran to the toilet 3 times…. And the last time heard someone outside asking where the mzungu was. Nearly punched multiple people in the face as they yelled at me to hurry up and that ‘time is money.’ Listen up morons, we’ve been sitting here for 2 f-ing hours, you can wait 30 seconds. Should have known from the 2 hour wait that it was going to be a nightmarish day. The bus ride took forever because with the fuel shortage, few buses were running so we stopped to pick up everyone who was waiting by the road. People were packed into the aisle, leaning over seats and random babies sitting on our laps. Not enjoyable. Finally got to Mzuzu around 5 pm to find no fuel so therefore no minibuses to Karonga. We decided to just get a hotel room but Banda wanted to wait awhile to see if a bus would show up. Good thing we listened to him because a bus came and was instantly mobbed by 30 people who were also hanging around trying to get to Karonga. Banda bravely fought his way and saved me the front seat – the only one my back can even partially manage for 4 straight hours. Had a moment of terror when the bus started to pull away with Banda in it, but they backed up and came to get me. Got into Karonga late but our favorite taxi driver was kind enough to meet us and take us home.

So, long story short, we have his visa! We haven’t bought tickets just yet (waiting for the miles card to come in) but the plan is to leave Malawi on October 12th!

This is my last week of work so I’m trying to get everything done. I think there will just have to be a couple of shelves of unlabeled books, but that’s just the way it goes. It’s still a vast improvement on the way it was and all of the technical books are sorted and in order and those are the ones that will primarily be used anyway. I’ll spend the last couple of days hanging explanatory posters, doing last minute touch-ups, and making certain that Envie knows what she has to do to maintain this whole project. While I used to worry about that, over the last month my confidence in her understanding has grown, so that’s reassuring.

We’ve been selling virtually everything in our house that’s not nailed down, trying to get rid of stuff and get a little nest egg for the trip home! Fortunately we’re going at the end of a month, so people have money to spend, and we’re making some good progress. I never knew Banda was such a salesman! Still trying to sell the house I built which is nerve-wracking since we’re getting close to leaving, but we have 2 very serious buyers so all is left on that is to negotiate a price. And since I long ago reconciled myself to the fact that it was inevitably going to be a financial loss, I think the negotiation part won’t hurt too badly.

Had a nice trip to Livingstonia one weekend. Livingstonia is that town at the top of the huge hill that the former volunteers and I hiked up to last year. Well this year there was no hiking, thank god. Ms. Kim wanted to take me there as a thank you for all of my work with the libraries and also with her English – so sweet! So it was her, me, Banda, Peter Daino, and her secretary and his wife. It was a good mix of people as Peter was full of wisdom and the secretary just chattered away. And Ms. Kim is such a mother – she came full prepared with sandwiches, drinks, snacks, dessert, and wipies. Love her. While the first trip centered more on nature and reflection, this trip was filled with history so that was neat. We went to the museum where the missionary lived, saw the church and the university, and learned a bunch of neat things about Malawi. On the ride home, we got stuck behind a bus that had broken down. Stuck because the road is only wide enough for one car at a time, with only a little bit of space for negotiating on the corners. So we hung out in the car for a couple of hours as they attempted to weld the broken piece back together. They failed but fortunately the secretary came up with the idea to put ground up soap in the pipe to block the leakage. And it worked! Who knew. Anyways, we finally made it down the mountain and home to Karonga. It was a great last trip to appreciate some of Malawi’s plentiful natural beauty.

I also went with Mwambira to meet the village headmen of the area where we’re building a community library. And I thought getting the books to Malawi would be the most frustrating part! Ha. It was basically a disaster with everything that drives me crazy about Malawi “all rolled up into one like a cigar” (as Banda would say). While the guys were initially grateful, the spokesperson finished his speech by saying that it’s soooo difficult to find resources here so they would need us to donate the cement and iron sheets and they would only do the sand and bricks. Umm no. 1. The original agreement was ALWAYS that we would do the books and they would do the building. 2. I’ve already spent over 1,000,000 kwacha getting the books there and Mwambira nearly matched that amount with his own transportation costs from Blantyre to Karonga. 3. The library will serve multiple villages. Go door to door and ask people to contribute 100 kwacha. Totally manageable and they’d raise the money easily.

So I was livid, although I don’t even know why I was surprised. I’ve learned over and over again here that it’s just never enough. It doesn’t matter what you do, people will always see your skin and expect you to do more. It’s nauseating. And it’s frustrating that this country will NEVER be able to stand on its own two feet if there is this constant mentality of dependency. Which there is – from all systems – starting at the government level and working all the way down to the family unit. There’s this expectation that someone else who is better off is going to come in and help you. I used to think the family interdependence was a good, beautiful thing. Note that I said “interdependence.” But I’ve come to realize that no, it’s just plain dependence. It is family members lying and making up stories in order to essentially steal money from those who are actually hard-working and managing to save. It’s not a safety net. It’s a crutch. A debilitating crutch. And it goes on up to the village level and even the whole country. If the donor aid hadn’t been pulled, I doubt people ever would have freaked out to the magnitude of nationwide protests. Sure, people would have grumbled that Bingu was repressing certain freedoms, but man let me tell you the real shit hit the fan when money started getting dropped. Sigh. But anyways, I’m off on a tangent, let me pull it back. So that’s what happened within this village. Absolutely no incentive to help themselves and contribute anything substantial to the project. Just a complete expectation that I would do it all for them. And I know that donors like myself are a huge part of the problem in creating this mentality. Because if we weren’t still coming in and doing projects, maybe within a couple of generations they would outgrow the mentality. And yet I really did (perhaps naively) believe that this project would be an exception. The Malawian community initiated it. They came up with the proposal. They donated the land. They were going to handle all of the building and management. I was just supposed to be the book contact. I wasn’t throwing money around to random people but giving a one-time donation of an actual commodity. Books. Education. Something concrete and a single opportunity rather than constant handouts. I thought it would be okay. I should have known better I suppose. It continued to get even worse as they somehow decided that I would not only be responsible for the library but for the whole secondary school in general!! WHAT?! So they decided amongst themselves that I would spend my life in the U.S. raising money for them because I was “responsible” for them now. They actually used that word. Excuse me but no. I wanted to help build a library, not a school. Not to mention that people don’t just throw money at you in the States. Half the time I feel like they still all believe that the streets of America are paved in gold and that money grows on trees, despite my own attempts to teach them that that is far from the case and that any fundraising requires hours and hours of invested time. Side note: I’ve lost count of how many people have asked me to find scholarships or jobs for them when we go back to the U.S. Sorry but I can’t even find myself a job and Banda will also need some way to pay for his own schooling. Half the time I feel like I’m talking to the wind when I try to explain that I don’t have those kind of connections and that it just doesn’t all get handed out to whoever asks.

The irritation continued as they took me on a tour so that I could take pictures to show donors. Whatever. And there I learned that they only have 2 classrooms for 4 grade levels so the kids just sit outside and wait for them to be free. And that in the rainy season, they just cancel classes. Awful, I know, pulls at the heartstrings, yes? Well don’t be fooled. There are 2 more classrooms already built but they just need to put new iron sheets on because they were destroyed in the earthquake. Which by the way was 2 YEARS AGO. Do something about it rather than waiting for someone to come help you. Also, I walked 50 more feet and was met with a beautiful teacher’s house. Huge. Decorated. Nicer and bigger than any of the Chaminade houses. And next door there was a bricklayer actively working on finishing a second house. With multiple piles of bricks laying nearby, indicating where the next 4 houses would be built. So let me get this straight. You say you don’t have enough money to 1. Fix the school roof so the students can actually have classes and 2. To build the library. And yet here you are building mansions for teachers’ houses. Hmm PRIORITIES ANYONE?!?!? Where were they getting the money to build the houses?? I asked them why this was happening and they gave some BS answer about teachers refusing to work unless they have housing. 1. They’re assigned by the government so someone should stay eventually or they could assign someone who already comes from the area and has housing OR 2. Build something smaller and more sustainable. The houses could be half that size and still be fine. Sigh, so it was just uber-frustrating to see that teachers were prioritizing their own comfort rather than the structural necessities of the institution. Again, not surprising as entitlement and dependence are something I see daily at Chaminade and MIRACLE, but still upsetting to see.

So we’ve put a 4 month limit on their project. If they have done nothing to raise funds themselves within 4 months, Mwambira will instead donate the books to someone who is willing to do their own legwork. As it should be. There’s no chance of sustainability if it’s all done from the outside. So I do hope these people get it together. If it had just been me on my own, I would have yanked those books away so fast and given them to someone serious. Like Lusibilo who I gave half the books too and I trust will do it right. But with Mwambira as the local contact, I know he’ll draw the line when the time comes. So frustrating to have spent hundreds of hours of my holiday time collecting and cataloging the books, even more days devoted to giving fundraising presentations, the thousands of dollars spent, and so much energy too – all with the aim of assisting people who it turns out can’t even be bothered to help themselves.

See you all in a few weeks!

Have been doing a dreadful job at updating lately! Pephani chomene [very sorry]!

Life here is continuing on.

Electricity has been particularly terrible lately, going out nearly every single day. When we returned from picking up the books, there was a solid 2 weeks where it would consistently go out before each meal. Literally cooked only 2 meals over the stove during that time period. Not days, but individual meals. The rest required cooking outside over the charcoal cookers. Fortunately our current batch of charcoal is fabulous, catching quickly and staying so hot there are actual flames. The only bummer is the filthy hands and dizzy head from blowing on the coals. And the added cooking time as you have to wait a good 30 minutes to avoid having the smoke blacken the pan’s bottoms. Still, I am now an expert charcoal cooker and Banda’s never been a complainer so he often picks up my slack! More annoying though was the internet fakeouts. I’d hike to school, only to find out that the power had gone out as I was walking over. That ceased to be a problem recently though as the internet has not been functioning at all for the last 2 weeks. Feel very much out of the loop socially, job applications have been put on hold, and I know nothing about what’s going on in the world. Just heard about Hurricane Irene the other day courtesy of one of my Malawian co-workers. I’ve gone to the Museum in town a couple of days to pay to use their internet. But it’s just so slow I can barely stand it. Hopefully my boss will come back soon and fix it! As of now though I am coming to you from the beautiful Mikoma Beach Lodge, a ridiculously expensive beachfront lodge that is undeniably beautiful. They even have a swimming pool! That you have to pay 1,000 MK to swim in (roughly $8) lol. So I’m sitting poolside, looking out at the waves, enjoying a cool breeze and wishing Laura was here with me to soak it in!

We’ve been continuing with the visa process. Poor Banda has been traveling throughout the country trying to get stuff done. He made the trip to his home village and then on to Blantyre to get his birth certificate. And he left again a couple of days ago to go to Lilongwe to do his medical exam and police record. He’s been a real trooper, getting all of the stuff done and weathering multiple shots, which he’s never had as an adult and was thus rather scary for him! He was so cute, giving me worried updates about how his whole arm had gone numb. Gotta love him. He had to do a couple of the basic shots in Karonga at the government hospital. Good because it was free. But bad because the ‘doctors’ here had no idea what to do. They’d never immunized an adult before. He got shuffled to 5 different people and they eventually just told him they’d do the baby schedule – 3 shots over 6 months. HA. Not going to stay here for 6 more months Mr. Clinical Officer Man. This resulted in some rather frantic, disjointed calls to the Embassy-approved British doctor in Lilongwe as I tried to explain the situation to him and that while I indeed understood the meaning of a booster shot, the people in Karonga did not. But we finally got it all sorted out! The paperwork is also done and Mom’s papers came in too. And just got word that the interview will be on Tuesday, September 6! So that’s the last stage in the process. If we get the visa then we can come whenever we’re ready – which will be mid-end of October. Very nervous about the interview (I think I’ve seen “The Proposal” too many times!!) but I keep telling Banda (and myself really) to just be calm and confident in the fact that we’re telling the truth and have a plan.

Fulfilled my duty as a Woman on Campus a couple weeks back. One of the teacher’s kids was sick and in the hospital, so as per the norm, the women took turns cooking meals and bringing them to the hospital for him. So I was summoned to cook lunch one day. It would be just my luck that it was the day after Banda left for Blantyre. Awesome lol. So I was a bit nervous about managing it all myself. But the universe was smiling on me. The electricity stayed on (this was during that dreadful 2 week period). I cooked the best rice of my life (I usually either burn it or turn it mushy). And the eggs were glorious too (I usually am paranoid and thus overcook them). Go me. The ladies were sweet, too. Mrs. Nkhata offered to go with me since I’d never done it before. And Madame Kaunda also came over beforehand to check everything out and keep me company while we waited for the truck to come. Handled the in-hospital stuff pretty well, though I was rather nervous culturally and also given that I just hate hospitals in general. It was rather interesting to me though that these women – who 1. I don’t see very often and 2. I can hardly communicate with given they don’t really speak English and I don’t really speak Chitumbuka – should because of those reasons technically see me as more of an outsider than my co-workers who I see every day and who I can fluently converse with. And yet the women of Chaminade have always welcomed me wholeheartedly. They invite me to everything, excitedly invite me to sit and chat, and include me in their activities (like hospital visiting). And yet my Miracle co-workers leave me out of everything, gossip behind my back, or pencil in my name afterward as an afterthought. So I was truly grateful and touched that the Chaminade women included me in the food cooking. Sure I was nervous and I don’t like hospitals, but the inclusion over-rode any such concerns. My heart was glowing with love for them.

Had a lovely adventure in town one day. While Banda was gone to Blantyre, I was bored. I’d already swept dirt, worked in the library, and burned trash (huge bonfire which – thankfully – did not spread to the overhead trees). Plus I needed more anti-malarial medicine and didn’t foresee any brothers driving to town. So I decided to walk to town! I woke up at 6 one morning and felt fit. Fit enough to walk the 2 hours. So I slapped on some sunscreen and headed out early in an attempt to beat the sun. Rather enjoyed walking along by myself, enjoying the scenery and having something to do. Walked for a good hour and then started feeling tired. Flagged down a truck whose owner kindly carried me the rest of the way. Had a splendid time wandering around town – picking up a few odds and ends, chatting and laughing with our usual vendors. The mango lady (the WEP lady, Molly!) and I had a particularly enjoyable exchange as she gave me a seed to try which she claims people suck on like candy but when I nibbled on it made me suck in my cheeks like a lemon. The ladies loved my face. Banda talked me into getting a taxi ride home, which I willingly did. A nice day in town. I love those days in town where no one harasses you for money, screams ‘mzungu’ at you, or tries to cheat you. It’s so much nicer when you fade into the crowd and yet still find some friendly faces to joke around with.

Malawi’s doing alright as a country. Peacewise anyway. There were supposed to be a second round of demonstrations on August 17 if the President failed to respond to the demonstrators’ petition. The general atmosphere was very tense in the preceding days. The President hadn’t done anything constructive – calling for dialogue on day and then the next giving hate speeches, linking demonstrators to the devil, blaming them for the deaths, saying that he’d smoke them out and fight them in the streets, and the latest yet, that he’d bring down war on them and didn’t care if Malawi went up in flames. Oi. So it seemed very likely that the demonstrations would go down – this time scheduled to last 48 hours – and that they’d be more violent than the first ones. But the day before, UN mediators arrived and the demonstrations were put on hold so that there could be discussions. I wasn’t convinced that people would stay at home, but excepting a few random acts of violence, the day passed in peace. Thank goodness! The next demos are planned for 21 September. Hopefully those will get canceled too and that good things actually start happening for this country.

Banda LOVES “Rocky Horror.” And I love that he loves it. He put it on again the other night and it came out that he’s also watched it solo while I’m at work. He always giggles hysterically at certain parts and the other day he was dancing in his seat to the “Oh Janet” song. Cannot wait to take him to a midnight showing at Alamo Drafthouse when we get home. Laura get ready – you’re in charge of our outfits!

I’ve been working frantically in the library trying to get it all done in the next month and a half. I decided to hire some boys to help me with the heavy lifting. Turned out to be a god-send because even with their help, my body is still aching to no end. I’ve decided that all of my back problems have stemmed from this since it had been feeling better the last couple of months, but is now all messed up again. We spent 5 days pulling books off the shelves, sorting them by numbers, and then reputting them on the shelves in order. So thrilling to see all of the 100s all in a row lol. Did all the way through the 700s. Eventually realized that I had underestimated the number of unlabeled ones remaining, so we’re now pausing as I label those. Looks like I will indeed finish within the month though, so I’ll have enough time to train Envie how to maintain it and also orient the students on how to use the library, a skill which the majority of people in Malawi never learn.

Since INCOS – the organization to which I was going to give half of books– seems to have died out, I was searching for another good, reliable place to work with. My biggest concern was finding someone who would be honest enough to actually use them correctly and who had enough resources to do it right. So I ultimately decided to give them to Ms. Kim since she is building multiple youth centers, complete with libraries. She is definitely a mover and a shaker who gets things done quickly and thoroughly, so I feel secure that they’ll make it to the right place! And she was absolutely thrilled. Some will go to her music center. Others will go to the orphanage which currently has an itty bitty shelf of books, and the rest will go to various village youth centers. Wonderful to know that a good 2,000 books are being spread throughout Karonga district.

I also decided to pull several children’s books from her boxes in order to give them to the teachers’ kids at Chaminade. One little girl whose mom is a cook at MIRACLE wandered in one day and I gave her a pop-up book. Not that she can read English, but her face lit up. Kids here just don’t have books. They’re far too expensive and the nearest shop is in Mzuzu (4 hours) anyway. So I’ve decided that each kid will get 2 or 3 books and then hopefully they’ll share them with each other too.

Had some lovely times with Jim and Robyn, our American and Australian uncle and auntie here in Malawi. They stopped by the library for ‘5 minutes’ the other day to bring us some cupcakes and we ended up sitting and chatting for a good hour. Decided at the end of it that we should have another lunch, this time with a Malawian friend of theirs who spent a big chunk of time in New York City. Lunch was great, listening to them and the girl chatter on. Banda and I also bucked up and weren’t quite so quiet as we usually are around them, and even added some stories :)

Wonderful day yesterday. I was feeling lonely because Banda was gone to Lilongwe for visa stuff and the power had been out all day so my computer had also died. Spent the morning in town doing some shopping. Waited outside of the bakery for a good hour, inhaling deeply the wonderful smell of baking bread while waiting for the Brothers to finish and drive me home. Then in the afternoon I got to go to Ms. Kim’s house for our English lessons. We hadn’t met for a while so it was lovely to catch up with her. Also went on a long walk through the villages and then ended up back in her kitchen where she stuffed me with rice rolls (amazing!!) and I got to see how a generator works. Was thrilling. And I simply adore her and love that we have become close enough where we just chatter away, despite the fact that she’s my grandmother’s age. Such a remarkable woman. Anyways, I was grateful to have spent 3 hours in such a great way rather than being lonely at home. Decided to stop in on Mrs. Chawinga on the walk home. Turns out she is STILL pregnant. She said August. Well it’s now September. And she’s still preggars. Adorably so of course. Had a great time chatting with them, asking all kinds of invasive questions and successfully convincing her and her husband that she’s having twins :) I wish I wasn’t so bogged down with household stuff all the time, so that I actually had time to go chat with her and the other ladies more often. Reminds me of the days at the volunteer house where we had Alick and Vicki and thus no responsibilities and plenty of free socializing times.

*** WARNING – Ridiculously long entry spanning a week – 8 pages in Word! I tried to cut it but my rambling was simply insurmountable. *** We got word on Tuesday that the books had arrived in Blantyre. FINALLY! 2.5 months late and not with the original trucking company, nor with the second company that after a week of enquiries claimed to be the contracted shipper, but in fact with a 3rd company that somehow ended up with the contract. Ai ai ai. Anyways, we got news that morning so I scurried around all day. Had to print all of the necessary paperwork not only for the books, but also for Banda’s visa because we were going to combine the trips. The visa had to be filed in Lilongwe which is 12 hours away from Karonga and mid-way to Blantyre which is 20 hours away. So it made sense to combine, given that they are both huge undertakings. So we spent Tuesday night running around, getting the Deputy Headmaster and Brother Charles to sign letters legitimizing our marriage (the Embassy needs proof for a visa). As luck would have it, Mwambira – my Malawian partner in all of this who is taking care of building the actual library – was already planning a trip to Mzuzu to register his new truck, which would be big enough to carry all of the books! I was thrilled as this meant we wouldn’t have to spend 40 hours on a bus that makes pitstops once every 7 hours…. A feat which is impossible anyway due to my back and bladder problems… so basically it meant not having to pay for taxis the whole way. Oh, and I woke up on the morning of travel with a wicked case of stomach problems. Thanks, universe. But anyways, Mwambira was fortunately up for taking us all the way to Blantyre. We were supposed to leave early in the morning on Wednesday but Mwambira was a few hours late, but we made it to Mzuzu without incident. By “we” I mean Banda and I, Mwambira and his nephew who unfortunately had to ride in the back because the police will stop you if you have 4 people in the front cab… seems silly since that’s safer than having him hang on in the back. But whatever they say. So once in Mzuzu we split up – us to get Banda’s passport and them to get the truck registered. Sounds easy enough, no? Ha. Banda and I spent hours (not even joking) waiting for his passport. I don’t know how anything gets done here. There was no organization at all. And at a government office, no less! People were packed like sardines waiting in an undistinguishable line/mob for officials who never showed up to work. And then outside in the parking lot, hundreds more were hanging around waiting to process their paperwork. It was just chaos. I wonder if there have always been so many passport applicants or if people are getting antsy to leave Malawi with the changing political climate. Hmmm. Anyways, I eventually decided that we should split, with Banda still waiting and me going to order food, since that itself would also take a couple of hours waiting for the food preparation. So I headed to Big Bite restaurant and excitedly waited for my pizza! Banda showed up just as the food was coming out – great timing. Apparently once I’d gone, some official had taken down names and started demanding bribes to get the passports. Banda balked and called a contact that he had in the office. And that man invited him into his office and gave him the passport straight away, no funny business. So kind of a man who had never even met Banda and only talked to him on the phone once! Goodness knows how many more hours he would have had to wait. We also went to visit Kenford, Banda’s older brother, who works at a golf club in Mzuzu. Had a mineral and some chatting. We also randomly ran into his sister’s husband. Good times meeting the family! :) Unfortunately this is where we hit a snag. Registering the truck apparently involved going to 5 different offices, some of which were having computer problems. So Mwambira got stuck in Mzuzu for 2 days while we continued on to Lilongwe and Blantyre. Taxi time! Banda found an awesome taxi to Lilongwe. It was only 25,000 kwacha ($166) – waaayyy less than anything I had ever been able to find with my mzungu skin. The car had a reclining backseat so of course I almost instantly fell asleep :) Arrived in Lilongwe late on Wednesday night without incident. Stayed at Mabuya Camp in a double tent, although it was admittedly a bit too cold for that. Woke up on Thursday and headed for the Embassy, which only accepts applications on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’d never been out in LLW before and neither had Banda so I’m sure we were quite a sight, wandering around looking like lost puppy dogs, asking people for directions. Enjoyed a bike taxi to the bus depot. In the big cities the bike taxis have padding – so instead of perching precariously on a metal rack, you get a nice comfy cushion with handles to hold onto! I loved it. Used my one Chichewa phrase that I knew to greet the guy, who fortunately knew enough English that we were able to chatter away as he biked. Now, to be completely honest, I do not like LLW. Was not impressed at all. It is too big, too chaotic, people are rushing around like madmen and are rude, it smells like dust, and is just dirty. Bah. I was overwhelmed. The bus depot is a great example of this disorganization. LLW is ‘organized’ into areas which are numbered. So, our lodge was in Area 3. The city center is area 12. The bus depot is Area 2. And so on. This sounds like a great idea… except that the numbered areas aren’t next to each other – ie 1 next to 2 next to 3! What’s the point of having numbers if they’re just scattered all over the place? The bus depot is similarly a mess. Because the city is so huge, it’s not located in one place but just sprawls everywhere. And it would make sense that all the Area 12 buses are together and next to the area 11 and 13 buses, no? Which makes me think… I don’t think I ever saw those numbers… do they even exist or did they just pick random numbers?!? I don’t know. Anyways, we wandered around for quite a while trying to find the Area 12 buses. By this point, we’re late. Of course. Finally find the bus and hop on. One great thing about LLW is that the buses fill up in under a minute! We were the first ones on the bus (normally a HUGE no-no) and literally within 60 seconds we were full and pulling out of the station. I was shocked. In Karonga, that same feat would have taken at least an hour. Also, they only sit 3 people to a seat which was fantastic! No being squeezed into a window or elbowed in the ribs or holding a random chicken on your lap or having some guy’s armpit leaning right into your face. It was great. No one really knew where the Embassy was, so by the time someone finally spoke up uncertainly, we were already past it. Got dropped randomly and started walking. Walked for about an hour, asking for directions along the way. By this point I was beyond anxious because the lady said we could come at 10 and hope that she could squeeze us in by 11. And I was pretty certain that with security at the Embassy, there was a list of people allowed in at a certain time. We made it to the Embassy at 10:30. Sounds great, right? No. Because we still had to get passport photos. We hadn’t thought this would be a problem because the norm in Malawi is that wherever an official building is, passport photo centers pop up. We figured we could just duck next door and get it done fast. Nope, luck would have it that the Embassy is in the middle of nowhere lol. So we had to board another bus that took us BACK to town. Walked around and found the suggested photo shop, which luckily was a legit business and finished within 10 minutes. My hair looked like I stuck a fork in the electrical outlet because by that point I was so frantic and just wanted to get the heck out of there. Got back on yet another bus to the city center and asked them to drive a different route past the Embassy. “No problem,” he said. Liar. They kicked us out at the corner so we had to walk for another 20 minutes to get to the Embassy. Arrived at the Embassy at 11:40. Sigh. I was a wreck. In Malawi, I’d say no problem, everyone’s always late. But this is the US Embassy we were dealing with. Went in and talked to the security guys. He had to call up the Consular lady because we weren’t on the list (awesome) and she said we could still come in. Thank the Lord. I probably would have lost it if she was strict and refused us or was too busy by then. Stumbled our way through security screenings and just left our bags there since we had all of our traveling crap that would have set off the alarms. Followed our armed escort (no wandering around the Embassy, kiddos!). Thankfully there was a man already yelling at the counter about his own visa application problems. I felt bad for him and totally agreed with his frustration that things aren’t explained clearly and then we get screwed for it. I think he hit it on the head when he said “Well if you had told me you needed that form, I could have gotten it for you. But no one said anything!” Agreed sir. Anyways, I felt bad for him but was grateful as his distractions gave me a chance to frantically sort out all of our papers and money. I’m sure the camera watchers just thought I was a mental case. Finally the man gave up and it was our chance. She took all of our paper s and looked through them. Got to the marriage certificate and turned to walk to her co-worker. “No no no, don’t you do it.” I muttered under my breath. But my pleas were unheard by the universe. The wrong marriage certificate. Well, not wrong, just not valid for the US government. Turns out we needed to take that one down to the central office in Blantyre and have it validated. Which, of course, had not been told to us beforehand. Ai ai ai. It’s a good thing we were already planning to go to BL otherwise I would have had a meltdown right in her office. She said it happens all the time :) But I handled it in stride. And then she told us the other things we’d need for the next step. A birth certificate, which of course Banda doesn’t have because things here in Malawi are not documented. So now he has to go to his home village and get one and then take it back down to BL to get it certified. So, yes angry sir, I agree with you – if they had told us in advance that it had to be centrally registered, we could have done it all in one trip. But nope, now there’s going to be 40 additional hours of traveling for that little adventure. Aaaand he has to get a medical exam with lots of vaccinations (which, again, he’s had but were not documented – ARGH Malawi) from an Embassy-approved doctor… which of course are only in LLW and BL….. one would think they could have found someone decent in Mzuzu so us northerners only had to travel 8 hours instead of 24-40. But nope. Oh and he needs a police certificate, again from LLW or BL. So while I understand that standards are higher in the bigger cities and are thus more desirable, it’s just overwhelming in terms of travel for us, people who live in the north and do not have a vehicle. So anyways, we walked away unsuccessful and I sat outside the office and had a complete meltdown – not because of the marriage certificate, but because of all of the future things and traveling we’d have to get through. Thank god for sunglasses. While we were sitting there an American couple coming out of the office offered to give us a lift, but alas was going in the opposite direction. Thought it was sweet of her to check though and I chuckled as her husband revealed that they were Tar Heels fan and since I had on my Kansas shirt, it never could have worked out anyway. I recovered over a chicken pita and milkshake and with the decision to take a taxi to BL instead of a bus. This also meant that we had more free time, so we got to wander through the grocery stores, which are just like being in America! I’m used to something like a farmer’s market and 1 dinky little grocery store in Karonga, so I was amazed. We just wandered through the aisles, soaking it all in, rocking out to Taylor Swift and Beatles songs. Made me miss the States though, plus it was more than a little depressing because I wanted to keep buying stuff but since I make a Malawian wage, I don’t earn enough to buy such Western goods. However, we did splurge on regularly-purchased things that were significantly cheaper in LLW and BL than they are in Karonga. Enter 20 cans of tuna. That’s right. It was less than half the cost in BL, so we kept buying a few cans at every store we went into. And then in BL, we got 10 at one place. Along with 6 Snickers bars. The check-out lady must have thought we were insane! We also got some candy, sauce powder packets (will be heavenly to have different tasting food!), and wait for it… syrup!! Pancakes here we come. Was a bit disappointed that there was no Spam. We did find olives though so I’m thrilled that our tuna salad will now contain olives since that’s always my favorite part! Oh and we got a Nutella substitute. They had real Nutella but it was far too expensive, so hopefully this stuff is good. Hung out at a little milk stand at the bus depot with a guy who was kind enough to let me share his bench as Banda went to negotiate for a taxi. Got one to Blantyre, waited a good while for fuel – the shortage is MUCH worse in LLW where people have to wait for hours, sometimes days, to fill their tanks. At each station there were dozens of cars just parked along the main roads, their drives wandered off, just waiting for word that fuel has arrived. I can now understand why the political climate is so volatile. But this guy cut in line, pissing people off in the process. And then of course I fell asleep. This was definitely my pattern since we were always traveling late into the nights after exhausting days, so once sitting, I just passed out. Woke up to find us driving around Blantyre in the dark, trying to find a hotel. Neither Banda nor I had stayed in BL before, so we were at a loss. Finally stopped at some place outside of the city that was relatively cheap. No mosquito net, light not working, and a crappy breakfast, but the door locked and there was hot water in the morning. As I laid there I thought about how it was a good thing that I was raised on Motel 6 vacations. Not to knock Motel 6 at all. Just saying that it’s good I’m not used to Hilton standards, otherwise, I’d have run screaming in the opposite direction. Woke up the next morning – Friday – and caught a bus taxi to BL city. Had no idea where we were going and didn’t pay the guy enough money. This actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise as they dropped us before we wanted to, but which was actually the best spot. Only had to walk 5 minutes to get to the Registrar General where we needed to do all of the marriage certificate stuff. Headed over there, wheezing at the amount of stairs – there are no 2 story buildings in Karonga, much less 4-story ones! The lady was not very willing to help but I swallowed my irritations and was polite. Paid back because between my calmness and Banda’s respectfulness, we got it done, despite realizing that the stupid officials in Karonga hadn’t filled out the original document properly. Seriously, people how hard is it to do your job properly?! So there was a frantic hour as we called Gumbo and the brothers trying to get the missing information about our witnesses. Had to pay extra to have it done in a day rather than the usual 2 weeks, which just about sent me over the edge. Because it wasn’t a government fee for a rush job – that would have been totally fine. Nope, it was just dishonest people who wanted a bribe for doing the same job they would have been doing otherwise. They would have been typing certificates anyway – just mine instead of someone else’s. But I bit it back and we got the certificate later that afternoon. The Embassy lady says it’s a true miracle. Our luck continued as one of the customs clearance guys that we hired happened to be in town and thus picked us up after we finished the marriage certificate stuff. Thank goodness because we had no idea where we were going otherwise! He took us to their office where we sorted everything out. The government paperwork wasn’t cleared until Saturday morning and the trucking company unfortunately wasn’t open on Saturday. Awesome. So we had to hang out until Monday morning. Expensive, but I’d rather stay in BL for some days rather than in LLW. Mwambira arrived on Saturday morning. We had a grand time in BL just wandering around. I love BL and was honestly a bit sad to leave. It’s not nearly so big of a city, so transportation is manageable. It’s clean. The people are friendly. And most importantly, there’s just an overall sense of order. Not chaotic at all. We ate all of our meals at Ali Baba Restaurant, mainly because it was across the street from our hotel. It was good though – great pizza and sausages and we also got to have our nsima and rice fixes. It’s funny, I would’ve thought that I’d only eat pizza and cheeseburgers the whole time and yet I found myself missing our Malawian staples. I think I ate rice and nsima more than anything else! Although I did eat ice cream at every opportunity :) We also spent lots of time in the grocery stores, seeking out new items in the different cities, and also some office supply stores. I even found a book store, which I loved browsing through! Books stores are virtually unheard of here. I got some Malawian books for the library though things were so expensive that that kind of hampered me. Banda’s childhood friend, Adron, lives in BL, so we spent a lot of time chatting with him. Thoroughly enjoyed him – he reminds me of Raymond, who of course I miss dearly. We tried to go to a movie at the theater (the only one in Malawi!!) but it was between Kung Fu Panda 2 and some movie in Hindi, so we passed. Decided to go to a football game instead at Kamuzu Stadium. Stood in line for 30 minutes and barely moved a meter. Basically hundreds of people were in line trying to squeeze through a single door. Sigh, oh Malawi. We figured by the time we got in, it’d be half-time, and then it’d take at least 3 hours to make it back outside. So we passed and just went back to the hotel and enjoyed having the opportunity to watch tv – something I haven’t had in 8 months! I watched 2 “Bring It On” movies, although unfortunately not the first one, but the crappy sequels. Still enjoyed the experience of it though. Also watch a documentary about Julia Roberts – who knew she was so scandalous?! Haha. My favorite part about BL though (and LLW too) was that there are so many foreigners that hardly anyone gave me a second glance, and I think those that did, only did so because I was clearly “with” Banda. It was so refreshing to just be invisible and not a freaking amusement show as we foreigners usually are in Karonga where we’re fewer in number and thus an anomaly to be observed. It was a wonderful break. There were so many white children I was amazed. I guess it’s not so daunting to raise children in Malawi when you have immediate access to Western supplies and medical care and can send them to the international schools that are in the cities and actually offer good educations. I did notice though that all of the white people were only together. Out of the dozens I saw, there was only one group that was mixed with Malawians. Maybe it was just a coincidence, I don’t know, but that was a little strange to me, since in Karonga seeing a huge group of only white people is virtually unheard of – at least now that us Marianist volunteers are gone lol. On Monday morning, bright and early, we went to finalize all the paperwork and picked up the books! Oh it was such an exciting moment to see those pallets in the warehouse and touch them and know that they had finally made it! Packed them into the truck, which groaned under their weight, but managed. Drove around town for an hour trying to find doors for Mwambira and then into Limbe (a nearby township) where after another hour, he finally found them. 2 hours. Remember that number because it’s important. Took advantage of that whistle stop to go to the bank. I’ll never complain about a Karonga bank again as it took exactly 1 hour to be served. Finally headed out, stopping on the roadside to get some chicken, chips, and sodas for lunch. While we were driving, I told Mwambira that Banda and I needed to stay in LLW for the night to go drop off the visa paperwork in the morning. That it’d only take under an hour because it was just dropping them by, so we hoped that he’d wait for us. He said he wanted to continue on and drive through the night. I was frustrated, but understood that he had business to get to. Got a flat tire a few hours in. The sun was setting by then so it was chilly. Wrapped myself in a chitenje (cloth) and headed into a field to pee. Apparently I picked the wrong field because I came out covered in blackthorns – little black thorn seeds – so the boys spent a good amount of time picking them off of me, while we waited for someone to bring a pump because of course the spare tire was flat too lol. Finally fixed it all and restarted our journey to LLW. So we made it to LLW around 10 pm and found a lodge. As we were saying goodbye, I asked Mwambira if he was still going to drive through the night. He admitted that they’d probably only go to Kasungu, which is about 1.5 hours north of LLW. My previous frustration quadrupled at this point. If he were going to get back in Karonga before morning so that he could go to work, I get it. But seriously, he’s going to leave us here and make us find our own way for a 12 hour journey, just so that he can get a 1.5 hour start on us and still arrive at night?! I cannot even count the HUNDREDS of hours I spent on my HOLIDAY, driving around town collecting those books for him, doing presentations which terrify me to raise thousands of dollars to fund it all, not to mention the labeling and packaging of the books and my parents driving them to Houston, plus all of the work I did once in Malawi to track the books down. And we had just spent the day before driving around for 2 hours trying to find his doors. And yet he cannot wait 2 hours for us to do visa paperwork?! Anger. As Banda said, gratitude is shown through actions, not just words. So it was frustrating to see that all of the kind things and gratitude he was trying to express on Monday morning had evaporated by that evening. I’m beyond appreciative that he used his truck and fuel to go get the books (certainly no small task!) but it’s still irritating. This is doubled by the ultimate discovery that he arrived in Karonga at 11 pm on Tuesday evening – the exact same time that we did. And yet we had to pay for taxis so that we could essentially travel parallel to him because he couldn’t be bothered to wait 2 hours. But to be positive about it, I’m holding on to the fact that multiple community will now have access of thousands of books. That is worth it. So whatever, he left. We moved on. Banda and I stayed at a different lodge in LLW because Mabuya was full. Highlight of the evening was waking up to a huge thud in the middle of the night as Banda randomly fell out of bed. :) On Tuesday morning we headed to the Embassy. It was much easier this time as we knew where to get off the minibus so we only had a 20 minute walk rather than over an hour. Got there a bit early and managed to finish everything by 11. Nearly died when they told us we’d have to pay another $400 on top of the $420 we’ve already paid. No wonder so few Malawians make it to the US. So much for an immigrant nation. But anyways, the initial paperwork is done and the process has begun! A kind man picked us up at the corner and drove us all the way to the Shopright parking lot. He refused to accept any money for it, even when Banda reflagged him down and tried to hand it through the window. Made my heart feel good about the state of humanity. After picking up some peanut butter and 2 more cans of tuna, we headed to the bus depot to find a taxi. Our thinking was that maybe we could travel fast enough to catch Mwambira in Mzuzu and go with him to Karonga. And we didn’t want to get caught in Mzuzu for the night because if we’d taken a bus, we’d get into Karonga at about 2 in the morning. Got a phone call from Mwambira while we were at the depot, saying that he was still in Kasungu. Awesome! I was hoping he could just get lunch and we’d find him there, but he was already on the road by the time my call went through. And when I asked him to at least wait in Mzuzu, he was incredibly hesitant. Frustrating since a taxi is clearly going to make up most of the ahead start that his overloaded slow-moving truck had. But instead we spent the next 3 hours getting a taxi and waiting in a fuel line so that the driver could get a full tank of gas (whereas if we were just going to Kasungu, he’d already have enough). Great. And then he pulled over outside of town and we got to sit for awhile while he removed his taxi license plates and replaced them with those of a personal vehicle. Because he wasn’t registered to travel outside of LLW. Grreeeeat. Should have known then that this wasn’t going to be a good experience! But we continued on and were traveling super fast. We were totally going to catch Mwambira in Mzuzu. We were having a great ride – enjoying our strawberries (first time I’ve ever seen them in Malawi!) and chocolate covered donuts. And then it all went to hell. The guy was going too fast down a hill and hit a speed bump, breaking the bearing in his wheel. So he fish-tailed down the hill. It was a really crappy spot to have a breakdown. In a valley of 2 very steep hills, complete with corners. So I got out to pee of course and the guy got to work fixing. He had no idea what he was doing and in trying to reassemble, left some parts out. That’s never a good sign lol. The original plan was to send a passerby to the nearest town to buy the part and bring back laborers to fix it. No problem. However, we were stuck in such a bad place that no one would stop to pick him up. So we stood there for over an hour with everyone just whizzing by. By this point it was getting dark. And I was ready to go since our window of catching Mwambira had closed and we were doomed to another taxi. So I wanted to get going since it was clear that the car wouldn’t be fixed anytime soon. So we offered to pay the guy 2/3 of the original fare, since he had gone 2/3 of the journey. Seemed fair and rational to us according to the amount of time and amount of fuel he had used. Right? Well the taxi driver insisted that we either wait or pay the entire amount before leaving him. HAHA. Tried to reason with him for a while but he just kept insisting. Devolved into loud speaking as he was being a jerk, with him ultimately yelling “tien!” which means “let’s go!” which apparently has the same violent connotation that it does in the States. I was dazed, could not believe that this asshole was threatening to beat Banda because we were trying to pay him for the work he had actually done. What it is about some people that they feel entitled to be paid for work they haven’t done?! We’ve had this problem more times than I can count with virtually everyone working on the house construction, not to mention other professionals in Karonga and other taxi drivers we’ve encountered. In the midst of this, a kind lady stopped to pick us up, so we tried to get our bags and give him the 2/3 money. He refused and instead grabbed Banda’s bag. So we’re trying to get his hands off and he then grabs my bag which is on my shoulder. Yanks and spins me around. This makes Banda angry of course. And I’m scared. But we stand our ground and just keep trying to pry his fingers loose. By this point, I’m telling him that I’m going to call the police and they can sort it out and that they’re not going to be happy to see those license plates hidden in his trunk. But of course I don’t know the number because there’s no 911 here (that I know of??). Well the universe finally decided to smile on us because at the very moment that I was feeling like things were out of control, a police vehicle came cruising down the hill. Hallelujah! I flagged them down. The jackass taxi driver started trembling. The police officers listened to our story and within 5 minutes told me to pay the guy the 2/3 amount and feel free to be on my way. The poor lady was still waiting anxiously, so we paid the jerk and hopped into the back of her truck. Left my notepad in the taxi :( I was so proud of myself for keeping such detailed records of all of our expenses. And my awesome pen that Ms. Kim had given me. But, as Banda said, at least I didn’t leave a phone or something really important! So anyways, I was just so grateful to get out of there without something terrible happening. I’ve never been so grateful to see the police! I’m a bit worried about going back to LLW though and encountering the taxi drivers. News travels fast and we’re pretty conspicuous as a mixed-race couple, so everyone will know. Sigh. And the guy was still getting questioned when we left so I’m pretty sure he got slapped with a huge fine for the license plates. Even though I didn’t tell the officers about it (thought that would be too mean of me), the very fact that he had been hired a taxi and didn’t have the right colored plates will be enough for the fine! Slept in the back of the lady’s truck. She dropped us at the bus depot in Mzuzu. Yet another example of good humanity. I had had enough sense to call Wangani, the nice taxi driver from the week before and ask him if he could take us to Karonga because Mwambira’s phone wasn’t reachable. Wangani was kind enough to wait for us until 8 pm, a real blessing because there was only 1 other driver there, so we would have been up a creek. Again, wonderful humanity. He got us to Karonga in only 3 hours, so we arrived at 11 pm. So happy to be home after the whole mess and a week of travel. Mwambira came over the next morning to unload the books at MIRACLE. Found out that he arrived at 11 pm too. Whoot whoot. Anyways, got the books into the library and will work sometime during the holiday to get them on the shelves so that they’re ready for the students to use! So excited that they finally made it to Karonga!! So in summary, I’m just glad that it’s over. Well it’s kind of over. Mwambira’s building hasn’t been built yet because no one believed the books were really coming. So now he’s getting on that and will hopefully get it done before Banda and I leave. He claims it will be fast, but I’m not holding my breath since this is Malawi and things just move slower here. Despite all of the taxi mess, we still ended up under-budget thanks to our awesome customs clearance agent who got the government to waive any duties – so basically everything on this end was a lot less than I budgeted for. So that’s good. I should even have some money left over which I’ll probably either donate to a library project NGO or use to buy more technical books for MIRACLE. Not sure yet. Was blessed and uplifted by examples of good humanity and frustrated by not so shining examples.

Watched “City of Angels” the other night which I’d never seen. Traumatizing. And Nicholas Cage? Why do people like him? He just creeps me out. But Meg Ryan is just too adorable, it boggles my mind. Of course, she’ll never be more adorable than she is as Kathleen Kelly (You’ve Got Mail) but even in COA, utterly adorable. However, while watching, after he gave up his angel-dom to become a human so that he could be with her, I was immediately like “No way, one of them is going to die now.” Of course I was right, but that got me to thinking, “why on earth was that my first reaction?” Why couldn’t they just stay together and live happily ever after? Maybe because I don’t believe in that. This may sound strange coming from someone who knew within a couple of days of switching from friends to dating that I’d found “the one” and still don’t have a doubt in my mind 8 months later. I wish more than anything that Banda and I will be two old fogies sitting on a porch, yelling at each other, not out of anger but because we’re too deaf to hear each other’s stories. More than anything, I want that. I know most young people dread getting older, but I actually look forward to being old. And yet, in the back of my mind, in the place that I try to slam the door on every day, I fear that it won’t happen. That I am just too darn happy and that the universe knows it. That something will stop that from happening. Because it always seems to happen to the people who are genuinely content, doesn’t it? Anyways, rambling aside, I guess I just don’t have that bushy-tailed, bright-eyed optimism that some people are blessed with. And I consider myself a happy person. No, I consider myself a joyful person. Since Chris always said that happiness was temporal and contingent upon outside events; joy is internal and a state of being. I am joyful. And yet I am also pessimistic. Is that a strange combination or do others feel that internal pull too? All I know is, I don’t want to have to eat pears alone. Poor Nicholas Cage eating his lonely pears. I was hysterically crying by the end of it. Re: my last blog entry, “The Help” was wonderful. It’s a novel set in Jackson, Mississippi, right around the time MLK, Jr. did his march), told from the perspectives of 3 different women. 2 African-American maids and a white author, who conducts interviews with the women to depict what it’s like being a black maid in Mississippi. I lost count of how many times I succumbed to tears, not because of tragic scenes or the like, but because of single sentences. Because of the emotions and thoughts that they inspired in my mind. Not sure I’ve sorted out all of my reactions yet, but I appreciated that it brought them forward. I always feel voyeuristic when I read books about other cultures. It makes me cringe when people read things and then walk around for a month acting and talking as if “they know.” They know how it is. They know how it feels to be in that person’s shoes. And knowing that has brought new meaning to their lives and they are utterly transformed. Not that I’m saying the book transformed me. But I digress. To me it seems that such a true level of understanding is impossible; we can never fully know if we don’t fully comprehend the context, either by living it or maybe by intensive study that few ever do. How can I know what it was like to be a black woman during a time when African-Americans were seen as dirty and diseased and forced to use different toilets? How can I fathom the pain of a concentration camp? How can I grasp the emotions of living within the apartheid? I can’t. So I always feel vaguely uncomfortable, feeling that my strong reactions to books cannot be authentic. That I will always simply be a poser, trying to impose my own life upon a foreign experience. Acting as if I really understand something that I can never know because I didn’t live it. And that faking seems to belittle the experiences of those who did, as I am trampling in and trying to make it my own, simply because I got a spark in my mind that such foreign events are interesting, so I should read a book about it. I don’t even know how to properly verbalize that feeling, but I was battling with this throughout “The Help.” And then I read the post-script by the author and it hit me. It’s not about hijacking another person’s experience. It’s about trying to recognize the underlying common humanity underneath. Segregation? No. But I can understand how degrading it is to be seen as diseased, since some people think I might “catch the AIDS” at any moment, you know, living in Africa and all. A concentration camp? No. But my heart seems to shrivel when I imagine the unimaginable pain of losing your entire family in one foul swoop. Apartheid? No. But I have felt both sides of the consequences of racial difference, both beneficial and detrimental. So while I cannot understand the specific moments in a life, I can attempt to understand the basic human emotion beneath it. The author writes, “I don’t presume to think that I know what it really felt like to be a black woman in Mississippi, especially in the 1960s. I don’t think that is something any white woman on the other end of a black woman’s paycheck could ever truly understand. But trying to understand is vital to our humanity” (Stockett). Vital to our humanity. Yes. Attempting to understand. Never fully possible. Yet it is the pursuit that is necessary. Having the compassion to want to understand. That is what makes us human. What makes us responsible humans. Stockett continues on to write that “In The Help there is one line that I truly prize: ‘Wasn’t that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I’d thought.” I think this is what I struggle with most here in Malawi. Because I see that we are just people. Now that’s not to say that I’m perfect at this. Clearly, if you’ve read my blog, any one of you can attest that I too sometimes get caught up in “they do this. I would do that.” I dish out the phrase “typical Malawian” waaaayyyy more often than I should. I judge way more than I wish I did. Often times without even thinking. But like Stockett said, I try to look beyond the differences, which I suspect is why my frequent exclusions from community activities here bother me so much. Because yes, we have had DRASTICALLY different lives and opportunities and happenings. And you cannot discount those differences. You should not. They are what make us beautiful and unique and enrich our basic shared humanity. Because underneath it all, we’re still just human beings. All of our hearts break when a child cries from pain or hunger. We all dislike being cheated. We feel betrayed when a friend spreads lies about us. We both want to visit my sick friends. And we all get as big a kick out of throwing money at my friend’s head on his wedding day. I wish more people here could see that possibility of relating just as human beings rather than being standoffish or apprehensive as different nationalities or tribes. Actually I wish that everyone globally could see that. I suspect the world would be a much better place if people did not demonize differences. And I’m not talking about being color blind. Or being tolerant. But being truly accepting. Recognizing the beauty in difference as well as the commonalities of those involved rather than getting stuck on the assumptions based on skin color. Side note: I felt like I was using “humanity” too much so I went in search of synonyms. This is what I found: “humankind, civilization, people, human race, KINDNESS, CHARITY, COMPASSION, SYMPATHY.” Wouldn’t that be great if we all focused on those last four when we consider those around us, rather than getting hung up on the divides? That is why Banda and I work. I’m guessing that some people think it’s a strange relationship and that in some way it must be dysfunctional merging cultures. But it’s not. Because we don’t relate as Malawian and American. We relate as human beings. My mom was talking to someone about Banda and I being married and the lady went off about how great it was that Mom had raised children who were color blind and who dated *insert hushed voice* black men. Ai ai ai. I know it was meant as a compliment and she’s a sweet lady so I know she didn’t mean any harmt. And yet the very fact that she felt compelled to comment, says to me that it’s still an issue! Why should it matter that Banda is black and my sister’s ex is as well? Why even bring it up at all? Why not just talk about the wedding or what our plans are or how we met or any other basic background topic? But if she was going to praise Mom for raising color blind daughters, why not go on to praise all acceptance of difference? Why was race so important that it was the only thing she felt compelled to mention? Why not tell Mom it’s great she raised a daughter who will marry a short man? Or overweight? Or a poor man? Or a chronically ill man? Or someone who wears glasses? Or someone who didn’t go to college? Of course I’m being somewhat facetious. There’s no way she would know if he is these things or not (which most of them are false for Banda – why do I even feel the need to type that?! To impress you that he’s a legit option for marriage??). My point is, why bring it up at all? Why does it have to be so damn important that he is not white? But then again, how did she know that he’s black? His family might have been Caucasians who moved to Africa from Florida and raised him there. Who knows? What if he were an Indian Malawian? Or a Muslim Malawian? What if he were an ex-convict? Or a heroin addict? Or HIV-positive? Or if he were in fact a she? Or any other of the obnoxious means by which people categorize and judge each other?! Would it still be okay? How far does the “acceptance” of difference go? Where’s the limit? Where do outright, self-acknowledged prejudices kick in? When does it cross the line into just being ignored as the elephant in the room, rather than being “praised” in hushed voices? Anyways, I feel like I’ve gone so far off track, I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore. But my point is that I look forward to the day when skin color is not important enough to even bring up in such a conversation at all or to be used as something terribly divisive as it was in the 1960s and still often is today. Wow, idealistic much? Pessimistic and yet ridiculously and (probably) unrealistically idealistic too. Oh Alyson.

Had a terrifying moment the other night. I had been having stomach problems from the potatoes and was making frequent chimbuzi (pit latrine) trips. On one of them, a bat got in and ran into a wall and started flopping all over the floor. Scared the be-geezes out of me as I was worried it’d land on me like last time. And no, that’s not the terrifying moment. So that left me too paranoid to actually go to the bathroom, so I went back in and told Banda. He pestered me for the next 20 minutes telling me that was no reason to hold it in and mess up my stomach even more. So finally I decided to go back out with him going with me to stand guard and scare off the bats. Thank god for this. Because I open the back door and see a man in our fenced in porch. I freak out and immediately slam the door shut. Because I’m an American woman, right? We lock the door and call for help. But nope, Banda’s more interested in getting the door open so he can get the guy. Oi. So he gets the door open and recognizes him as he’s climbing over the porch fence. Turns out that he’s this 14 year old punk who had been stealing from Banda at his last house. So now we know who has been taking stuff from the back porch. Banda went and told his mother who basically said they’ve just given up on him. Awwwesome. Not really anything we can do. Although I’m not gonna lie, I’m more than a bit traumatized. I’m pretty scared that every time I open the door now, someone’s gonna be there. It’s not about the stealing because he only takes what he can carry over the fence with him. A razor? Underwear? Annoying, but I can live with that. What gets to me is the violating nature of it. What if he decides to fight back next time? What if he carries a knife? What if he tries to get into the house? Because he’s bold enough and stupid enough to come back just like he followed Banda from the last house. Banda’s been great about it. Even if he’s sleeping, he gets up every night to go out there with me. He says it’s to keep the bats away, but I know he does it because I’m still freaked out. Update: Just heard a knock on the door. Wasn’t going to answer because Banda is gone to town. But then I realized it was probably Madame Secretary’s boys returning my clothes. So I got up, opened the door and I was right. There was Clifford (maybe aged 11?). But he didn’t have a clothes basket in hand. He had two rocks. Not strange because he’s scared of our dogs so I have noticed that he always carries them as protection. But out of the corner of my eye, I see a black arm leaning up against the wall just out of my eye sight. My first thought? “Oh my God, they’re going to break in.” UTTERLY ABSURD. Clifford is one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever met. Most of them drive me crazy at some point or another, but he is always just well-behaved, polite and friendly. I have no reason to fear him and I never have before. And his family is one of the kindest, most generous I have met while here. They welcomed us volunteers more genuinely than anyone else did. So why did that that terrible thought jump into my mind? I do believe that that stupid thief has irrevocably screwed me up. And who was it leaning against the wall, you might be wondering? Good Luck, his 8 year old brother, who was carrying the clothes basket for him and smiling at me adorably. I’m ashamed of myself. I really dislike the person I sometimes become in brief flashes here. The other day I got a craving to read. I tend to go in spurts here. I’ll read nonstop for a handful of days but am usually so burnt out by the end of the day that I just don’t have the energy. I haven’t had a craving in a long time and was thus pretty excited about it. Decided to get on Amazon and buy “Atlas Shrugged” because it’s one of my friend’s favorite books and I learned long ago that she has fabulous literary taste :) She introduced me to “The Secret History” which is my fave and is now battered with love from how many readings I’ve put it through. I found “Atlas Shrugged” in the Kindle Store. $10. Too expensive for my taste. But I figure what the heck, I want to read so I’m doing it. I click on the link and a message pops up, telling me that there are different prices for different purchasing regions. And that apparently in Malawi, the book costs $19. HOLD THE F UP HERE! I have so many problems with I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s start from the most pragmatic. I do not want to pay double for an electronic copy. I would understand if it were a hard copy – clearly shipping costs more. Also, if I were having it delivered wirelessly, I might agree. I’m assuming there are more steps involved or something with international wireless? But it was just downloading to my computer… the link is already there. Why the extra $9?! Secondly, I object on intellectual accessibility grounds. It’s already difficult enough to get books here in Malawi. The majority of people have never owned a single book. Students don’t have textbooks. The schools don’t even have enough for each teacher to have a copy, much less each student. Now I know it’s extremely unlikely that any Malawian is trying to use the Kindle Store and is balking at prices. That’s not my point. My point is that Amazon should not be increasing the barriers of accessibility that are already crippling this country. On principle. Thirdly, I’ve bought e-books books here in Malawi and never encountered this before. Interesting, hmm? Especially because the only books I’ve bought here have been trashy, romance novels. So what? Amazon is fine charging the same prices for smut and yet when someone wants to read something that is legitimately decent literature, that’s when they jack up the price? Obnoxious. Maybe if someone can explain to me why this price increase occurs, I’ll accept it. But for now, I’m shaking my head at Amazon. Way to ‘encourage’ a reading culture, ya’ll. So anyways, I balk. I decide to buy “The Help” instead, which actually turned out to be wonderful. But I didn’t find that out for a few days. Why? Because I download it to my computer. Go home that night. Hook up my Kindle to my computer. What do ya know? The USB cord has malfunctioned. Because Amazon sold a faulty USD cord whose plastic casing disintegrates, leaving the wires exposed. Now I know it’s not just mine because I’ve researched and found hundreds of the same complaints online. Well mine always still worked in the past but now has stopped. So I have a $250 paperweight now until I come back to the US and buy another faulty cord. Awesome. Thank you Amazon. So I try to open the file on my computer. Of course it isn’t compatible. So I have to go online the next day and download their Kindle for PC application, which of course takes forever with our internet connection. Then I have to redownload the book multiple times because it isn’t recognized by the app the first few times. Sigh. Finally got it to work. Amazon is not on my liked list these days.

I’m not sure how I feel about this blog anymore. Most days I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head and I tell myself that I need to update the blog and yet I cannot force myself to sit down and do it. I suppose I should since it helps to get out all of the emotions and yet I still delay. I guess in principle though it’s still a good thing since I end up pondering things in a more meaningful way as I try to sort out the conflicting emotions and implications of some of the things I plan to write about. Anyways, apologies.

My birthday was at the beginning of July. Am now 24. I feel old. I thought I wouldn’t feel any different after 22, but I must say, 24 does feel older. Don’t know why. Maybe it’s also that I’m 2 years out of college… truly an adult, dare I say?! Anyways, my birthday was a crazy day. So typically Malawian. We had our weekly shopping in town like always. But Ms. Kim was with us and she is not a patient lady so it was hurried and irritable. Bah. Picked up some nsima and beef to bring home for lunch. Turned out to be a great decision because the power was out all day. So Banda and I just laid around all morning, with him asking me about a hundred questions to get me to reflect on my 23 years of living. It was really nice. Although clearly I need to have a better memory as I couldn’t think of many answers. Side note – my memory is beyond awful. I can’t remember hardly anything from my childhood and have some worrisome gaps in recent history too… makes me kind of nervous for my future actually. Anyways, that was probably the best part of my day.

After a while Brother Innocent called and asked if we wanted to go to Dickson’s wedding. I was glad because I’d been bugging him about it all morning since I wasn’t willing to pay for a taxi and thus wasn’t going to go if the brothers didn’t. So we got a ride with them. I really didn’t want to spend my birthday at a wedding in a sweltering building where no one’s speaking English but I knew it was important that I go given all of the hoopla about the chitenje and me being ignored and such. I’m glad we ended up going! Banda did a great job translating and explaining so I wasn’t too confused. Wedding receptions here are very different. There’s no food. No cake. No speeches. No real dancing. Anyone who wants to shows up. Basically the whole point of it is that people throw money at the bride and groom. It’s their starting-out pot. Most couples make enough to pay for the wedding and then some. So it was a little strange at first but I actually ended up having a great time dancing around the groom with my fellow MIRACLE teachers and students, throwing money at his head.

Banda and I were both ready to call it a day before the brothers were. So we got a taxi. Oi. The car broke down 3 times on the way home. I was itching mad because the guy had already pissed me off in the depot, trying to charge us triple on account of my skin color. Some days it gets to me more than others. But he was the only car there. Oh and the 2nd time it broke, he muttered “This is causing me a lot of trouble here.” Oh bite me buddy. Your car is a piece of crap and we’re not complaining at all and will still end up paying you. If your car isn’t up to par, then don’t try to use it. Causing you trouble, my foot. But I held it in because poor Banda doesn’t like it when I yell at people :) and I was trying to stay all zen. But that basically collapsed on the 3rd breakdown as he started dumping buckets of water into the car engine. Even I know enough to know that that’s not gonna work buddy. And then the car started smoking. And I decided it was time for us to get out. The guy just sheepishly took the money. And we walked away. Thoroughly enjoyed the walk home! It was nice to just be the two of us which is always good for my mood. Chattered away and got some cherry plum. Made tuna salad for dinner since the power was still gone. The following Sunday ended up being more like my birthday. Lazed about all day. Still no power. But eventually the water came back (it’d been out for a good 4 days) so I finally got to shower! Oh how my standards of luxury and peace have changed :)

We’re working on getting home. Well really we’re in a stage of waiting. Banda had to get a passport first. Which of course is more complicated here. Can’t just go down to your local post office. Here you have to travel. He left for Mzuzu early one morning, which is 4 hours away on a bus. Spent the day running around getting pictures taken, having officials sign that he is who he says he is (he doesn’t have a birth certificate – the norm here), and then waiting for hours at the immigration office. Then 4 hours back on the bus. His phone died on the way home so I spent a solid 2 hours thinking that his mini bus has crashed and that he was either stranded or injured or worse on the side of the road. Again, a common occurrence here. Which got me to realizing that I don’t even know what to do in such a situation. Who do you call? There’s no police station phone number. No hospital number. Ai ai ai. Not such a comforting notion. Anyways, he finally got home at 2 am! He got to Karonga at midnight but there were no taxis. Scratch that. There were taxis. But none of them had fuel because of the fuel crisis in this country. So he had to walk for 2 hours to get home. Hired a couple of bike taxi guys to walk with him. I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved to see the kid. And I’m sure my puffy, sob-streaked face was all he wanted to see too :) Anyways, all the paperwork is done and now we’re just waiting the 20 processing days – which WOW is today! Has it been that long since I’ve posted? Anyways, he’s calling while I’m at work to see if it’s ready. Hopefully they’ll give out that info on the phone… gonna be irritated if he has to travel 8 hours only to find out that it’s not even ready. I’m crossing my fingers that it actually is done on time since I’m itching to get things going. But I’m telling myself not to get impatient. This is Malawi, after all.

After his passport is done, we can start on the visa process. It’s a good thing I’m a planner because I sent the consulate lady an email a few weeks ago to figure out what’s necessary and I learned that we have to do the initial petition by August 10! Yikes! Not much of a window between the end of July (when his passport’s done) and that date, considering it involves 2days of traveling and their office is only open 2 days a week. After the 10th, they’re changing the procedures and I have to file in the U.S. Which brings up a whole bunch of other questions about if he’s allowed to go to the US too or will he have to follow later or what. Anyways, just seems easier to try to get it in under the wire. That requires an 11 hour bus ride to Lilongwe, one way. Ai ai.

I’ve decided to sell the house as is. It’s not finished yet. Still needs a pit latrine and a septic tank, but we tried to hire someone else and he wanted to charge as much for labor as the whole house cost! HA. So we’ve decided that we’re just not going to find someone who is honest about prices. This guy never even saw me, but he knew that Banda was married to a mzungu and what do ya know, the price magically is 30 times what it should be! That’s right, darlings, not a typo. Not 3 times. 30 times. So I decided that any money I put into finishing it will not be made back on the sale. So I’m cutting my losses and getting rid of it. Hopefully. I don’t really know how to sell a house here. I guess flyers and word of mouth? We’ll see.

I’ve been applying for a bunch of jobs lately. Mom gets worried that I’ll feel discouraged if nothing comes of them, but I don’t mind. I love researching for different postings and then looking up housing and living costs to see if I can make it. Imagining lives in different places. Coming up with different letters and resumes. I don’t know, call me a geek, but I kinda enjoy it. Ask me again in a month if I’m still unemployed, but for now it’s a good way to spend my time.

I’ve been feeling sickly again which is a drag. Had a good couple of months there. But now it’s back daily. Stomach problems. Headaches. And most recently a sore throat which has spread to my ears. And anyone who knows me, knows my ears are the breaking point. Bah. Went to the doctor. He told me to take double my anti-malarial stuff since it’s also used for all kinds of infections. We’ll see. Also, a strange phenomena. The last 4 times I’ve eaten potatoes – fried and boiled – I’ve ended up with terrible stomach pains and etc. I don’t understand why it’s happening. The doctor said it’s the fertilizer that people are using, so Banda’s been great about questioning all of the vendors about where they get their vegetables. Sigh. I really don’t need to lose any food options here. We’re down to nsima, rice, and pasta now. And I eat nsima every day for lunch so really it’s just rice or pasta. Boring.

Banda went on a bit of a cleaning spree one weekend and I always feel guilty just sitting while he’s doing stuff. So I ended up sweeping dirt for the first time. Yes, sweeping dirt. It’s a daily chore here for women, actually twice daily usually. When I wake up in the morning and stumble out to use the chimbuzi (pit latrine), my neighbors are all outside, sweeping away, making different patterns in the dirt. To me though it seems like a waste of time and energy. A belief which was only confirmed as I sweated it out that day and woke up the next day to find the dirt already messed up again by the animal and human foot traffic. But I felt Malawian there for a little while.

Teaching has started wrapping up. We have a new system here which we are following. Basically it’s the national standards for technical colleges. All it really means is a whole lot more paperwork for me! And I don’t get to cover as many topics because we have to stop and do assessments (tests) for everything. Which I already did on my own, but now they have to be repeated and on and on. Bah. I think it’s actually a disservice to the students. It’s good for the trade classes though because everything has to be learned to perfection or they don’t pass. So the main thing I’ve been dealing with is oodles of paperwork. In my own OCD, list-making manner, I kept IMPECCABLE records. Every single assessment was documented. I kept the overall results list updated. I was on top of my stuff. And then the principal tells me that they’re in the wrong format. Well, Madame, I do believe that is why I gave you exact copies of what I was doing THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL so that we could make sure everything was alright then!! But nope, all I got then was “good work.” Great. She told me this ONE DAY before the external verifier was coming to check all of my work and assess a random sampling of students to assure that everything was done properly. This was the verifier that I told her to schedule for 3 weeks from now when all of the students were done. But nope, the guy up and decided to come the next day without more than 3 working hours of warning. AWESOME. So I worked all day until 9:30 that night, reformatting the 500 assessment records. And then printing them all because the secretary couldn’t be bothered. And then collating them all. And then signing them all. Oh I probably would have exploded at a sweet puppy dog by that point. But I did it all. The next morning Madame looked at the papers and said “This is good work.” All I could do was sigh. On the up side, the students are doing really well. They’ve all been achieving and they are confident – which is reassuring to me as a teacher that they feel adequately prepared. Another beautiful thing was that during graduation, 2 of the graduating students came to me and told me how much they had come to appreciate our Communications classes. That while they were on their attachments (internships), they used the skills we discussed in class. That it made them feel more prepared. And that their supervisors even commented on them! It was like a little lamp shining inside of me that something was finally seeming to have an impact.

Last week there were no classes. Why? Might you ask. A good reason like holiday or exams or natural disaster? Nope. Graduation. Because apparently we need to spend 10 hours (not even exaggerating!) rehearsing a 1 hour English version of mass and days upon days of campus cleaning and brick painting. All because the Bishop was coming to graduation so they felt the need to put on a grand show. Maybe if the students regularly had mass or even had Faith Living classes that aren’t the joke they have become since Molly left… maybe then they wouldn’t need 10 hours of practice and lecturing so that students would be respectful during church services. And days were spent cleaning the grounds, tasks which could have been finished a lot more quickly if the majority of students weren’t so lazy and whiny about working. One whole day was spent with the whole school painting bricks white. That’s right up there with sweeping dirt on that the” things that Alyson just doesn’t understand” list. I got to know a handful of 1st years, though, which was nice as I don’t have much contact with them. There are a couple of good ones in my cleaning group so that was lovely. I was in charge of gifts for the top students in each trade so I spent a lot of time that week creating certificates and wrapping presents. I’m pretty sure that the Bishop – a self-professed education enthusiast – would have just about died had he known that classes were non-existent for a week for his benefit. Campus looked nice for graduation, though, and mass went on well, so it was a success. The Bishop was a hoot – quite the public speaker and very pragmatic about education which could be good for MIRACLE, though bad for its staff as he seemed to be pushing for more qualified instructors. We’ll see. I loved being around the 3rd years again. How I’ve missed Mphatso, Kelvin, Zellipah, Elijah, and Emmanuel. So nice to see them again.

Work has gotten better. There are still many days where I am driven crazy, but overall it’s been much better. I think I finally complained about vernacular speaking one too many times, because now Mbale reminds people every time we have a meeting that they need to speak in English. He’s gotten more than a few dirty looks shot his way, so I’m grateful to him for sticking up for me. Madame Principal has also been great about keeping me more in the loop about things. And Nellie has been lovely as usual. Her, Envie and Paleisha seemed to have noticed that I was getting down in the dumps and have since been awesome about reaching out to me. Love them. While I am still definitely ready to come home, it is nice that the last few months here will be spent enjoyably rather than miserably.

Now that graduation is over, we only have 1 more week of classes. I can’t believe it really. I remember moaning at the beginning of term that it was going to be forever before I get another holiday and now it is upon me! Will probably be spent picking up the books in Blantyre, which STILL have not arrived – the new date was July 23rd but of course that didn’t happen either. They’re now 2.5 months late. Also, we’ll go to Banda’s home village for a few days. That should be both wonderful and terrifying. And maybe even go to Nkhata Bay or to Maji Zuwa. But then again, we’ll also be busy running around for Banda’s visa stuff so we’ll see. Busy holiday probably.

Had a smattering of very interesting conversations a while back. For regular blog readers, you might recall a former incident about a chitenje. One of the madames waved a chitenje (piece of cloth that women wrap around their skirts here) in my face and said “this is the chitenje for Dickson’s bridal shower.” I said “I don’t know anything about that.” Because I didn’t. I’ve never been to a bridal shower or wedding here. What is it for? Do we buy it for the bride? Do we buy it for ourselves? Are we each getting one? Is it for the shower or the wedding? Who knows. All I wanted was an explanation. But I never got that. Instead she and another madame launched into this whole thing about how I need to go and learn a thing or two about living here. About how that’s how “we” survive here in Africa – supporting each other. And then she informed me that if I don’t go to the bridal shower than she won’t come to my wedding. Wow. Talk about a slap in the face. I was literally speechless that she could hurl such a hurtful remark. I didn’t know what else to say so I told her that was fine if she felt that way and that I didn’t even know if we were going to have a wedding ceremony here. Because this was after we had decided to come home but before we told anyone.. so it was just awkward. And I was hurt by her reaffirming the fact that they were going to continue to not support me – just like the last 7 months. And I was more than a little angry, not gonna lie. Because the thing is, I wasn’t even invited to this wedding shower. The only reason Dickson told me about it was because I bumped into him in town buying something for his fiancée and it came out that I had never got an invite. So he awkwardly gave me one the next day. Well call me crazy but I don’t fancy accepting a pity invite to something that I clearly wasn’t thought highly enough to invite in the first place. Sure, maybe they just forgot. But that really doesn’t make me feel any better that they’d forget someone that they spend 8 hours every day with… Sigh. Anyways, it ended up with me being hurt and irritated but repressing it like always. I remained polite throughout the whole exchange. I thought it was done.

Well a few days later, Envie (library assistant) comes to me in the library and says that she heard that I refused to buy the chitenje and was super rude to madame about it. What?! I never refused! I just said I didn’t know anything about it. Because if they had explained, I surely would have participated! And I wasn’t rude. Sure I was quiet. But I made certain to stay respectful and professional. Bah. So Envie fills me in on everything. Apparently a bunch of the teachers had been sitting in the staff room talking about how rude I am and how I was refusing to buy it. Only one other lady stood up for me (Nellie – we were SO RIGHT to love her, Mol!) and said that no they didn’t approach me in the right way and that I wasn’t rude, just confused and felt attacked. So I’m obviously upset that such things are being discussed in public. Respect here is huge. The moment that your reputation is attacked and you’re seen as rude, say goodbye to any sense of camaraderie. So I decided that it needed to be addressed at the source, since clearly the 2 madames involved did not leave it in that room where I thought the issue was finished. Envie and Paleisha told me that I should just ignore it. That people here gossip all the time and that I should just let it go like they do. And at first I was going to. I don’t like making waves, especially here where when I do stand up, it’s often cast as me just being a foreigner who is ignorant as to how things go here. But then I decided, no. There’s a small group of people at MIRACLE who treat people like shit (pardon my language) and think they run the place and they get away with it because they are loud and everyone else is quiet. Everyone just ignores it. Enough is enough. I knew that my confronting the issue wasn’t going to change anything, but I wanted them to at least know that it was not okay. Maybe give them an attack of the conscience that would make them think twice the next time.

So I went to Mwadame Mwalweni first because she’s supposed to be the auntie of the school. She’s the counselor and we’re all supposed to go to her with issues. I was careful to make it very clear that I wasn’t attacking her. I wasn’t attacking anyone. I just wanted to bring up the issue in a calm way and explain my side and confusion, apologize if I seemed rude, and request that such gossiping be stopped in the future. Well she didn’t quite understand that I’m afraid. She immediately got defensive and started saying that I just needed to calm down because it’s their “culture.” BAHAODINSODINAO. That’s all I have to say about that. So then I informed her that no – this is not the culture that they preach. They talk about how communal everything is. How you look out for each other and support each other. And that if they were following that supposed culture, I’d have no problem. But they don’t follow it. I’m left out of everything. I had to bite back the word “hypocritical” so many times because I knew it would be a fightin’ word for her. Anyways, it didn’t go so well as she just didn’t understand any of my points. And then she started calling the people who told me, liars. I kept their identities confidential, but she just went on and on about how they were trying to separate us. As if we have some great love bond between us. Pu-leeze. The moment you told me that I couldn’t take communion because I was living in sin and damned for not going to church = those feelings gone, lady. The “informers” were the ones acting out of love, while you’re just sitting there lying through your teeth. What does the bible say about that, Madame Holier Than Thou?! So finally I just decided that that conversation was over as she did not understand any of the logic I was using. She basically dared me to go talk to Madame Principal about it (who was the other lady in the room) and nearly passed out when I told her I would. Clearly she thought I was afraid or something.

So I took a breath to settle my frustrations and went to talk to Madame Principal. And it was like night and day! I presented everything in the EXACT SAME manner. Respectfully. Choosing my language carefully. Not making any judgments or accusations. Just trying to clear up confusions. EXACTLY the same presentation on my part. And wouldn’t you know it, we spent that whole conversation laughing and loving each other. Why? Because she actually listened rather than getting defensive about our differences. Because she is rational enough to make logical connections. Oi. It boggles my mind how different those two conversations went. Definitely solidified my respect for her, not only as an administrator but also as a woman in Malawi. Anyways, sorry for the rambling. To sum up, the issue was all sorted out. Turns out Madame Principal was confused by my “I don’t know anything about it” because she was gone the day that the announcement was made to the women… of course I was not invited to that women’s group… so she thought I already knew what was going on with the chitenje. Laid the issue to rest with more love and respect for many of my co-workers. Much less for one. Oh well. Also, my attempt to lessen the gossiping at MIRACLE failed miserably. As I knew it would. Have heard a couple of tongue-lashings about other teachers and while I wish I could stand up for them too, they’re conducted in vernacular so I’m never quite sure of the content. At least not sure enough to act. But then again, I shouldn’t make excuses for myself – it’s much more likely that I’m just a coward who’s too tired of being branded an unknowing American to risk getting into it with co-workers for the sake of another.

Whew it's been a long couple of days here in Malawi. I have another post sitting in Word, but I figured I should update on this first since many of ya'll have been following via Internet News and Facebook.

There wasn't any reporting going on until hours later and the articles I've seen since then aren't really very good. I'm posting this article because it's much more accurate of the tense mood that was country-wide for the last days. It only covers the first day though. The guy lives in Texas (oh the world!) but is a political science professor who specializes in Malawi - he was following the stories all day via twitter. As was I because President Bingu banned the radios from broadcasting live updates and phone networks were largely down, so twitter was the only source of information really. Here it is:

http://habanahaba.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/a-day-of-protests-in-malawi-a-chronological-account-from-afar/

On 20th July, the opposition party, NGOs, students, lecturers, etc. - basically the majority of the country (surprising to see such unity!) joined together to plan a PEACEFUL demonstration. People were supposed to gather and march to the town's district council (like town hall I suppose) to present the official with a petition/list of grievances that would then be passed in theory to President Bingu. The issues mainly dealt with fuel shortages, forex (foreign currency) shortages, electricity outages, rising food costs, rising taxes, and just general messings up of Bingu in running the country. It was genuinely supposed to be a peaceful day. The police said beforehand that they were not going to resist, but just guide and oversee to make sure it stayed calm. I, however, was dubious. It only takes one idiot doing something reckless for things to get out of hand... I was impressed though that the Malawian peoples were actually standing up for themselves though and doing something proactive. Malawians are lovely, if a bit passive and deferential to authority figures. Rock on for organizing a nationwide march.

Unfortunately, a citizen decided to file an injunction which would ban the demonstration marches. This is where all of the confusion began as the crowds gathered anyway and the police blocked them, refusing to let them march until their superiors allowed it. Unfortunately, that permission came hours too late (after lunch), so the marchers got antsy and forced their way through, which started the fighting between the police and the people which then spiraled into the fires and looting. In all cities, the police were overpowered, many running for their own lives. People were throwing stones and setting things on fire. The police used tear gas to disperse (aka chaos inducing) and beating people. They arrested masses of people and were even beating journalists. And then later in the afternoon/evening, reports that they started using live bullets. Sigh. Shops owned by Chinese immigrants were most targeted as people view China as being aligned with Bingu. Also, the government-run shops - Metro, PTC - were also hit as were the shops owned by MPs and other government officials. Looted and burned. Cars were also burned. A couple of houses too. Police houses were also looted and burned. Seemed to be the theme of the day sadly.

Mzuzu was the worst, it seems. 9 people died there alone, although the government was originally reporting only 1 death for the whole country. Laughable. Lilongwe was also very violent. Peter Ngoma said the city was burning and his family was locked indoors. Blantyre started out very peacefully as the whole thing was intended. I think it only turned violent towards evening hours.

And good old Karonga. I thought we had escaped chaos here. But really they were just waiting. The march didn't start until 3 pm. It was peaceful at first - they delivered the petition just fine. But then afterwards the looting started. Chipiku, PTC, Metro. No burning that I have heard of. After dark Jim called me to say that 2 mobs had formed - 1 outside of Chief Karonga's house. Chief Karonga is seen as pro-Bingu here. His house was damaged and his car torched. The second mob was at the Chief of Police's house. Not sure what happened there. Gunshots were frequent, though Jim said they were being fired in the air to disperse the crowd. One person was killed in Karonga, though he was a looter, not a demonstrator.

Jim and Robyn have been taking care of me. They are AWESOME. They first called and told me to pack an overnight bag with everything important in case I had to high-tail it. Well that induced a meltdown, but I recovered. Poor Banda. They said that if they were evacuated to the mine that they were taking me along. But when that call came, I guess their security guy said I'd be fine at Chaminade since we're so far from town. Thank goodness. So I'm still on campus, but I have a seat on the plane if things get worse at any point.

So that was all on the first day!

Woke up on Day 2, hoping that it was all finished, but not so lucky. The second day was just looting and chaos though. No actual demonstrations, no organization, just groups of people going and breaking into shops and destroying property. Really upsetting to see actually, although not surprising that impoverished people will try to get what they can. Still lots of gunfire and stone-throwing and teargas. Bingu finally spoke at noon on the second day, though he didn’t say much of anything productive. Shocking lol. He basically blamed everyone but himself and said that all of the demonstrators are being led by the devil and that God always wins. Sigh. Forget about all of the economic and civil rights issues that are being trampled on here and that actually inspired the original march. Oh Bingu. He has said that he’s ready for round-table talks now so hopefully those will be in good faith and actually get things going right. The army was called in eventually which seems to be a turning point. The police simply couldn’t handle it on their own.

In total, 18 people have died so far. Although there are many who are still in critical condition at the hospitals. It would be interesting to see a number of how many were truly demonstrators who are victims of police brutality and how many were caught looters. Though I doubt we’ll ever actually see that number since the opposition will want everyone to be seen as demonstrators and the government will try to cast everyone as looters and vandals.

The next march is rumored to be August 17th. Better get our booties out of here before then! Cross your fingers. Prayers please that everyone just calms the heck down and stops being reckless. It seems like there's just a whole lot of anger simmering now. My worry is that even if it calms down for a while - say while Bingu looks the petitions over and decides what to do, etc. - but as soon as he does the next stupid, stubborn thing, it'll boil over again.

Just a word of thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers sent our way throughout all of this. Not gonna lie, I was pretty scared for a couple of days and had a massive headache trying to come up with Plan A, B, C…. Z to keep Banda and myself safe and get out of here. I’m glad that it’s settled down!

On June 22nd, Banda and I decided to make it official! Even though neither of us really needed the government’s piece of paper to make it real for us, we knew it would be necessary in order to deal with all of his immigration stuff. The week before, I had figured it’d be smart to go check out the situation beforehand so that we could be adequately prepared. Didn’t really want any surprise waiting periods or paperwork or blood tests. I should have known better lol. Despite a 30 minute wait and conversation with the Director of the District Council office, I walked out just as uninformed as when I went in because the paperwork was at the other office and he didn’t know any of the information :) Luckily I got a phone number so Banda could call and communicate more effectively. So he ended up calling and going to visit the guys the day before the wedding. Of course they were out of the office and drunk by 3:30 in the afternoon (Shocking! Not.). Nothing needed to be done beforehand (also shocking!). But the officials did make sure to tell Banda that he’d need to bring the equivalent of $200 to pay them as a “thank you” for doing the paperwork. HA.HA.HA.

So we headed down to the DC office one Wednesday morning to make it happen. Brother Beams graciously agreed to be my witness, despite being super busy with his impending move. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been able to make it! Loved having him be a part of that. Banda’s witness was Mr. Gumbo, a former teacher of his from Embangweni (his home village). The whole witness thing here is funny to me. As an American, I would pick someone who I love and want to be there for the event. Here in Malawi, it just needs to be someone from your home area who can verify that you don’t have another spouse in the village. So basically Banda has close friends here at Chaminade and yet he had to pick some guy who he never talks to! So strange to me! But Gumbo turned out to be this adorable, cheerful man so that was fun to meet him.

We showed up at 2:30…. As requested by the DC Director. Keep in mind that he knew about the wedding since the week before AND Banda had been there the day before to finalize everything. One would think they would have taken 10 minutes that morning to get everything together. Nope! We get there and the guy tells us that the necessary papers are still at the other office. So Beams had to drive him over there, where he could only find some of the forms. So they came back and there was another search in that office. By then I was pretty convinced that it just wasn’t going to happen that day. But in true Malawian fashion, somehow it all got worked out.

The “ceremony” happened in the conference hall (had to first kick out a guy who was using the internet there). I put “ceremony” in quotes because it really wasn’t a ceremony… it was just us filling out the official certificate. Beams asked them if they were going to ask us any questions about our desire to wed or have us say any vows… The officials’ response? “We couldn’t find those papers.” Hahaha. People were answering phone calls. Wandering off to look for more papers. Etc. It’s a good thing that I didn’t have high expectations. Or any at all really. To me it was just making it legally official. We’ll have a real ceremony/reception once we get back to Texas. So anyways, we had a fun time taking pictures and chatting while the guys did the writing. Then I signed. Banda signed. And that was it! The only ceremonial part was when the officials made us stand in front of their desk and handed us the certificate. Then I was supposed to hand it to Banda. And then he said “Kiss the bride.” I think he’s watched too many American movies. Malawians do not kiss in public. They don’t hug in public. Hell, couples don’t even hold hands in public! So Banda and I both froze. Banda – the one who had been going on for weeks about how he was gonna lay a big inappropriate kiss on me at our wedding. Yeah right, sir! I recovered from my freeze first and decided “what the hell, you only get married once” and gave him a quick peck. Made everyone’s day I think lol.

Paid the $3 government fee. Then drove across town to the other office and paid an $8 fee. Then was forced to return BACK to the first office where the guy asked for his service charge. Um no. I’m not paying you $200 for actually doing your job instead of getting drunk. So I very firmly said, “We already paid.” He caved immediately thank goodness. Didn’t want to have to emotionally cripple anyone on my wedding day :)

Went home and basically had a normal evening! I wanted to make cookies so we’d have something special but the power went out. Haha. When it finally came back on we made a potato skillet with some of the Hot & Spicy spam and Velveeta that Mrs. Stilz sent in a package. :) Great reception! And I say that without any sarcasm.

The best part? We now have not only 2 anniversaries, but 3. April 2nd which is the one that we really use – when I first moved in and when we and the community accepted us as married. June 22nd when we did the legal paperwork. And June 17th….. which is what the guy wrote on the marriage certificate, despite my telling him that that was not the right date. Haha I’ll have to remember that date now whenever I’m filling out official paperwork!

Nothing too exciting going on! I’ve gotten some wonderful emails and messages and phone calls in the last weeks, which have been great.

Life’s more than a little lonely at the moment actually. Banda is gone to Chilumba (about an hour and a half away by bus) to invigilate national exams. Invigilating is basically supervising, passing out exams, making sure there’s no cheating, keeping records, etc. He left on Sunday for the whole week and then came back for the weekend. The weekend was great – we did our usual shopping and cleaning but spent a lot more time just lounging and chatting. Stayed up until 2 am talking on and on. It was like the old days lol. He left again on Sunday for a few more days. I must admit that I miss him terribly. It’s strange staying in the house alone. Add that to the fact that I don’t have much interaction at work and I’m starting to worry that I’ll forget how to speak soon :) And since phone calls are so expensive here, we’re limited to a few minutes each night which really only just makes me miss his goofy self even more.

I’m holed up in the library still, desperately trying to finish the labeling. I’ve made so much headway in the last month that the end is in sight and it’s making me even more anxious to finish. Yesterday I spent a good 6 hours just labeling. I’m so ready to organize and paint and see it looking beautiful!!

Jim and Robyn came by the house last week with a surprise for me! They brought me 4 cans of tuna and some already made tuna noodle casserole! I was so excited that I hugged them. And let’s just say that Robyn is not a hugger lol. But I guess I had made some random comment at lunch the other month that I felt like the tuna was taunting me because I saw it on the shelf every week but couldn’t bring myself to buy it since it’s so much more expensive. Well they remembered and so they brought me some! Aren’t they just the sweetest?

In further exciting food news, I got a SPLENDID package from Mrs. Stilz and Lauren!! I love that they never tell me that they’ve sent it because then it’s always a great surprise :) It was chock full of exciting food stuff… soups, sauces, spam, tuna, nutella, peanut butter, candy. Oh it was amazing. I’m already perusing the internet, finding the most creative ways of using the ingredients. Spicing up our food life! I used the soup in (what I think was) a very creative way! Soup on its own is not a big enough meal for a Malawian so I served it over rice the first day and pasta the second day. It was wonderful! So many new spices to savor. Banda apparently loves tortilla soup :) Yewo chomene (thank you very much). Love you both.

Ms. Kim’s music students gave a concert at MIRACLE last week, so that was nice to see. And she used her speech that we wrote during one of our English lessons. I could definitely see the performer in her as she had memorized it word for word and yet still made it sound unrehearsed!

Had a lovely evening one night as I walked home from English lessons with Ms. Kim. I stopped by the Liwewe household because I wanted to buy some phone minutes so I could call Banda. The whole family was sitting outside making mandazi (fried bread), so I sat and chatted with them for a little while. They’re such a cute bunch! Eventually I continued on towards home since it was already dark. Decided to stop at the Chawinga’s house because Kat wanted the madame’s phone number. She comes walking out of the house TOTALLY PREGNANT!! I guess that tells you how long it’s been since I’ve seen her, since the last time she looked like usual. But now she’s huge. And utterly adorable. Cutest pregnant lady ever. She was so excited to see me and hear that Kat wanted to chat with her that I couldn’t help but smile.

The water hasn’t been coming for the last 5 days or so. I feel worst for the Chaminade boys who are boarding… they’re wandering around looking for water for drinking and washing their clothes. We are lucky enough that we have two huge basins that we fill, but those were in danger of running out. Water finally came at midnight one night so Banda was a champion, out there filling up buckets from the tap and bringing them in. Unfortunately the water is really dirty (sandy I think), so most of it is just there waiting to be used only in extreme emergencies. We’re surviving on one small bucket for our drinking water and washing veggies. Send out good thoughts that we’ll get CLEAN water soon!

So I’m sure many of ya’ll know by now but I’ve decided to come back to the U.S. Whenever people asked how long I was going to stay in Malawi, I always said that I’d stay for as long as it made me happy. And that if one day I woke up and realized that it wasn’t the right place for me anymore, then I’d move on to the next adventure! Well I’d originally assumed that day would be years from now, but alas it’s already happened. Nothing big or traumatic happened. In fact, I’d had days before when I said I wanted to leave, but that was always following some terrible no-good day. So I discounted them as biased. It needed to be just a normal day.

Which it was. I was completely fine, just sitting at work working on fundraising projects. I started thinking about who I wanted to be witnesses when Banda and I go to get our wedding certificate. Beams, of course, was an immediate choice. But after him, I was stumped. I literally could not think of another single person who I wanted to be there. So that made me think…. Do I really not care so much about anyone here? Whenever people asked me what was my favorite part about Malawi, what makes me love it enough to start a new life there, I always always said the people. So obviously this was troubling to me that I couldn’t think of any real relationships. Especially because I miss my family and friends in Texas so very much. I then realized that if I did go back to Texas, I wouldn’t truly miss anyone here (other than Banda – who’s coming with me – and Beams – who’s moving to Kenya anyway). So if the bonds here are pretty much nonexistent, then what’s the point of being here as opposed to Texas?

Of course my rational, list-making side prevailed because I didn’t want to make a hasty decision that I’d later regret. I’ve done that once before when I left Rome early and it’s been my biggest regret in life. I’m not willing to make that mistake again. So what did I do?! In true Alyson fashion, I made a pro-and-con list! Two actually. One for Malawi and one for the U.S. When it became clear that my reasons were leaning towards going back to the U.S., I also made a third list – What I used to love about Malawi and why that’s changed. Because I needed to get all my thoughts down about why my feelings 18 months in are different than they were at 12 months. Some of the other reasons:

1. Lack of real relationships. Already discussed.

2. Lack of real conversations/ respectful conversations/ any conversations at all. This has to do with my changing relationships I suppose. I’ve grown tired of the banal chatter that is considered talking here. I used to have interesting talks with students and teachers about cultural differences and life experiences. But I guess those talks can only last so long and unfortunately nothing else has taken their place. The joy and satisfaction that I felt when I talked with Singuini about politics here proves my point since I knew all along that I wouldn’t likely find another person with the same mindset to discuss such issues. And I was right. The second part – respectful conversations. For some reason, the madames at MIRACLE have become both combative and nosy. It seems that every conversation we have involves them lecturing me about how I should behave as a woman/wife (most of which I categorically reject as they place the husband as superior) or outright criticizing my beliefs and lifestyle. Or probing for details about private issues. I’m tired of it. I’m not sure why this has happened. They left us alone as volunteers. All I can think of is that maybe since I’ve moved here to stay, they feel like it’s their duty to educate me. But really it’s just patronizing and intrusive. And hypocritical. Just today they were lecturing me about how I need to go to Dickson’s wedding shower because then if something happens for me, they’ll also show up. Now this idea is great in theory. I fully support that idea of reciprocity. HOWEVER, do not sit there and tell me that ya’ll support me as part of this community. 1. I wasn’t even invited to this shower…. 2. I have been sick for weeks and no one came to see me (a HUGE slap in the face in Malawian culture). 3. I am continually left out of meetings and other visits to women/hospital. So don’t bitch at me and act like I’m the one who is being disrespectful when in reality ya’ll have been excluding me from your little community for the last 6 months. In all fairness, I would like to note that the Chaminade women’s group has been so warm and welcoming! They have been a true source of wifely friendship, as it is intended to be! So I don’t really understand why my co-workers are not the same way. I was never particularly close with any of the male MIRACLE teachers but I did have one who I really enjoyed. Well all he ever talks to me about now is how he wants me to find him a white wife. Not only does this make me incredibly uncomfortable as he told me when I first came back that he wanted me in particular. But it also is just frustrating. Someone who I respected suddenly can’t seem to talk about anything other than skin color. There’s also been a sharp decrease in English used around me. I don’t know why – maybe they think I understand more vernacular than I really do. Maybe they’re trying to teach me. But even when I tell them that I need a translation, they refuse and just keep repeating it in vernacular amongst great laughter. Not only is it frustrating, but I’m not going to learn anything if I don’t know the English equivalent. One can only take being mocked for so long. You might think I’m being oversensitive, but I’m not. One can tell when it’s good-natured and this is definitely not. I know Laura noticed this too when she was here. The madames seemed very hostile and mocking, one of the main reasons why she was often reluctant to go to MIRACLE. This kind of blends in with the third point of no conversations. There are many days where I don’t speak to anyone at all, excepting simple greetings in the morning. And it’s not just that I’m hiding in the library. I spend about half my time in the staff room, surrounded by people. And yet? It’s as if I’m invisible. Also, the students aren’t really around anymore. MIRACLE has gotten stricter about them being in class all the time. This is great, don’t get me wrong, but it means that I never get to sit and get to know them like I used to. These chats with the students, as many of the avid blog readers know, was a main part of my days and was what made me love MIRACLE the most. Gone. I was talking to another foreigner about these frustrations and he said that he used to feel bad about being treated that way too until he realized that Malawians also treat other Malawians like crap. He seemed to think that was a justification for staying. But why would I choose to live in a life like that??

3. Feeling of peace replaced by feelings of irritation and tiredness. I always described my love for Malawi as a general feeling of peace and contentment. That was the main thing that helped me realize that I was in the right place. But unfortunately I don’t feel that peace anymore. I get irritated 90% of the days at work and then I come home and am swamped by the tiredness that comes with all of the household tasks. I do still like having to do things, but there is no denying that it wears a person down. The old volunteers and Banda can attest that my bedtime is usually 8:00 because I’m falling asleep sitting up at the dinner table. And yet in Texas, I’m up until 1 am every night. Why? I’m convinced it’s because Malawi takes it out of you. The heat alone could be something, but then also all of the tasks. Because it’s not just about washing dishes. There’s no sink, so first you have to scrub 3 buckets to make sure they’re clean. And then fill 2 buckets with water from the tap. And then haul those to where you wash. And bring all of the dishes outside. And walk the remains out to the trash pit that’s set apart from the house. And theeeennnn you can finally start washing the dishes. Even when you don’t think you have a lot, it still takes over an hour and a half. And 9 times out of 10, you do have a mountain because you have to do all of the cooking from scratch so you use pretty much every dish you own each day. Oi. Anyways, my point is that it wears a person out because everything just takes so much longer. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just wanted to call for a stinkin’ pizza. I think my favorite part about going away for a weekend is that we don’t have to cook or clean – forget about the beautiful scenery! And it’s not only the physical drains, but the mental things as well. Like always worrying if the power will go out before it’s time to cook dinner. Which is a legitimate concern since the power goes out at least 5 days a week. Because then on top of everything else, you also have to get 2 charcoal cookers going – without the US blessing of lighter fluid and real charcoal. There’s a whole lot of torn paper and blowing and waving and praying that the crappy homemade charcoal will light. And then once it is lit, everything inevitably burns because the majority of food just isn’t meant to be cooked that way. It’s the wondering if water is going to stop coming each day. And having to fill buckets constantly so that we always have a supply. And even if it is running, it’s usually dirty, so you can’t actually drink it or cook with it. It’s the freezing cold showers in the morning that make me long for my old daily burn-inducing bubble bath. It’s not having a real toilet and instead having to wander outside in the middle of the night to use a hole in the ground. It’s having to boil all of your drinking water. I never minded all of these things before because my thought was always that I gave up a comfortable, easy lifestyle because there was so much else here that made it worthwhile. It was my choice. And an easy one for me. But if those wonderful, beautiful things are no longer here either then the harder life just doesn’t seem worth it. I would like to make a side note that Banda is wonderful about all of this. I don’t want you to think that he’s just sitting around while I do all of this work alone. It’s definitely a team effort, but even so, it’s exhausting.

4. Sickness. It’s been no secret that I’ve spent most of my second trip here sick. I’ve actually felt awesome health-wise for the last month which has been great. I’m pretty sure that the anti-malarial drugs are just suppressing everything. But when I am sick, it’s just very frustrating to feel like no one has any idea what’s wrong with you. And as someone who already hates taking medicine, it’s not so comforting to also know that the doctors will have nothing to say other than “malaria” and that they just hand out drugs like candy, hoping that one of them will work.

5. Fulfilling job. Right now I’m fine because I have the library project. But at the rate I’m going since I don’t ever want to leave the library, I’ll be done with that in a couple of months. And then what? I only teach twice a week. So basically I’ll be left to sit and watch movies all day. I know, it sounds like fun. But as I realized when my back was sidelining me, it really gets old after a few days. I miss being challenged. While I’ve never been one to center my life around my job, I do like having a purpose still. And I want to be a librarian in the US where it’s an actual job. Here it’s just sitting in the library and making sure people don’t steal books. I want to help people do research and find books that will shape their mentalities the way books did when I was a kid. I want to actually be a librarian.

6. Love of self. I think part of the reason why I loved Malawi so much before is the personal growth that happened during my first year. Ever since public high school traumatized me with its hundreds of students, I’ve been quiet and shy. Anxious mostly. But I really blossomed here. Most people who met me in Malawi refuse to believe my other version of Alyson. And I loved that new self. And was afraid that I’d lose it when I went home. But now I know that I’m stronger than that. If I want to be, I can still be my outgoing, social self.

7. Simple lifestyle. Likewise, I’ve realized that leading a simple life that takes time to appreciate the smaller joys is not exclusive to Malawi. I can do that in the US.

8. I miss school. I miss learning. I was definitely burnt out after graduation, but now I’m ready to go back.

9. I make next to nothing. Obviously money isn’t a concern for me. If I cared about money, I never would have come here in the first place. I do, however, care about paying back my thousands of dollars in student loans from undergrad. I also care about making enough to come back to see my family every couple of years. And I care about being able to support my future children. None of these things can realistically happen in Malawi. Especially when the new tax system is going to start taking half of my already measly salary.

10. Also, I’d like those future children to grow up having every opportunity available. I could never sacrifice their future simply because I selfishly chose to live in Malawi. At first I said I’d homeschool so that they’d learn everything they need to know. But now I see how much of a role cultural expectations play in shaping their mindsets. People here are just different. There’s no denying it. From the gender expectations to work ethic to personal interactive styles to logic skills to simple things like senses of humor. There are some wonderful, beautiful differences – but again, I feel like it’d be easy to transplant those differences in America than it would be to bring everything else from America to here. So I changed my answer to coming back to Texas before they started kindergarten. But then I look at the youngsters around campus and realize that even by 3 years of age they already have their attitudes and personalities shaped. Plus, I cringe at the thought of what would happen if my child ever got sick here. That alone is enough for me to pack my bags.

I guess in a nutshell you could say that I’ve gotten close enough to see the cracks. When we were volunteers we were in a little bubble not only in terms of household work, but also socially. But now that I’m back on my own and a ‘real’ employee, I see a different angle of people and actions. I see the hypocrisy and the exclusive mentality and the laziness. You know how when you look at something from a distance, it looks fine. But then when you get close enough, you can see all of the imperfections. And that’s when you have to decide whether those imperfections make it more beautiful or make it unrecognizable and thus undesirable. I suppose the more admirable answer would be that you accept it for what it is, flaws and all. But alas I cannot do that for Malawi. If those cracks did not include the people themselves, I would say sure no problem. I can deal with more chores and less comforts. I can deal with a lazy job. But when it comes to relationships and people’s well-being, I simply cannot sacrifice.

In talking to Ms. Kim during our English lessons, I’ve come to realize even more clearly how much my perception of Malawi has changed. Because talking with her is like talking to myself at month 7 (which is how long she’s been here). She loves Malawi. She feels that her students love her as a mother-figure. She feels that she’s gotten past superficial relationships and that they have a more meaningful bond. She feels that she is making a huge difference in their lives and that they are so grateful for her support. That they will always remember her. It’s really kind of eerie to hear her speak since I swear some of it is verbatim what I used to say, particularly about her bonds with people. But really it just makes me sad. I hope for her sake that her feelings never change. I truly do from the bottom of my heart. Because to see the change is somehow devastating. As for me, I now know that my students and coworkers only ‘love’ me when I’m doing something for them. I stop letting them borrow my computer and suddenly no one comes to chat with me in the library anymore. That I can never give them enough because even when I do go out of my way to help, they’ll always ask for something more. That I will never really belong in this community. That organizing MIRACLE’s library won’t really encourage people to use the library. It was just something to pass my time. That the village children here don’t really know or love me. That to them I’m just an amusing different colored person who behaves strangely. That they’ll never know my name – that I’ll always be “duntu mzungu” (“fat foreigner”). That when I go, people will rarely ask about me. I’ve unfortunately learned this first-hand as no one ever asks about the former volunteers who were dearly loved in their time here. That I’ll just be some mzungu who stayed here for a while and is now ‘their white person’ that they like to tell their friends about as some badge of specialness. There’s this line in Blood Diamond where the Zimbabwean character (Leonardo DiCaprio) says something to the effect of “the Peace Corps types only stay long enough to realize they’re not going to change anything.” Maybe this is where I’m at now. Maybe I’m just cynical. I don’t know. But I’ve come to see that my presence here is nothing big. Not that I ever expected it to be nor did I want it to be. I never wanted to change the world. I wasn’t looking for praise. In fact, it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable every time someone at home tells me how proud they are of the good work I’m doing. It makes me cringe. Why? Because I don’t see it that way. It wasn’t some big selfless act. Or some great attempt at humanitarian success. It’s just life. I wanted to live somewhere else so I made it happen. And yet even with all of that uncomfortableness about recognition, it still seems important to me that I be doing something constructive. Something worthwhile. Not to be praised for it, but to know it for myself. That I did something good. Something that will change the cycle. Something that will last. Otherwise, what’s the point of being away from everyone and everything that I know and love? What’s the point in being treated crappily every day? I don’t even know if this rambling makes sense to anyone else. As an end note that is far more positive, I do still believe in my heart that the community libraries that I collected books for WILL make a difference. Hundreds of children will have access to books that would have been out of reach before. That has to count for something. So that is what I am going to focus on… just accompanied by a more realistic assessment of my time here.

The only wild card was Banda. If not for him, I would have been on a plane last week. When I’ve told people that I’m coming back, they always ask if Banda is coming with me. Of course he is! I would never leave him. We’re in it ‘til the end. Another question that we’ve gotten is if I’m worried that he’s just using me for a green card. And I have to answer that one with a resounding no. In 5 months he has never once mentioned a desire to go to the US. In fact, Laura and I had to drag it out of him whether or not he even wanted to visit. He loves Malawi. This is his home. And his love for me has no basis in wanting to get out of this country. Trust me – all of us volunteers were much attuned to that possibility with my potential suitors, so it’s always something I scope out at the very beginning of even talking about dating. But I’m rambling. Far from thinking that he wanted to get a green card, my main fear was that he wouldn’t want to go at all. Because he does love Malawi and he’s really close with his family. But he said “Wherever Alyson goes, I go. How can I not?” Gotta love him. I am still a bit concerned though because I don’t want all of my elements of frustration in Malawi to simply transfer to his experience in America. I don’t want him to have an unfulfilling job or feel like he doesn’t have any real friends or that he can’t understand people or that he misses family and friends too much. We have spent hours and hours talking about a future in America and what he should expect. So I feel like he is prepared. But I guess we’ll see. His happiness will be something that can’t be judged until he’s actually here and then compromising will have to occur.

So anyways, nothing is set yet. We still need to do Banda’s visa stuff which will take months at best. And I want to finish the libraries before I go. So maybe early November hopefully? We’ll see! Good thoughts and prayers that things work out well.

So the fact that I haven’t been writing so frequently should be taken as an indication that I’ve been keeping very busy at work! I go through phases… on days where my back hurts too bad, I don’t work on books so I have plenty of time to write blog updates and emails. But then I take advantage of days where I’m feeling good – and luckily that’s been the case for the last couple of weeks! So I’ve been on a book spree of late. Cataloging and labeling books for hours on end, stopping only for lunch and the end of the day. I love it although days do usually end up being pretty quiet. Again, fine with me! And it’s great to see more and more rows of numbered books. I’m so ready to finish them so that I can paint the book shelves and reorganize them all. It’ll be a beautiful thing once it’s done!

There was a pretty sizable scandal on Chaminade’s campus a couple of weeks ago that has of course dominated much of the gossip since then. I found it to be very interesting in that while the man followed the norm here…. the woman certainly did not! Go her! Anyways, one of the teachers – married, old, and with children spanning the age of 4 to 16 (aka damn lucky that he found a young woman to manage his household) – has apparently been sleeping around with one of the female support staff members as well as one of his students (high school aged). Again, this unfortunately is not such a surprise here. From talking to Banda, it seems that he’s heard stories about 90% of the teachers having affairs with students and community members. And those are just the ones he’s heard about! Sad but true. Well the teacher’s madame (wife) found out and whoa geez look out. She followed him to campus and started hitting him and screaming accusations at him in front of his coworkers and students. Now I’m not a supporter of violence or public scenes, but I am proud of her for standing up to him. They tried to force her into counseling with him, with the end goal being their reunion. She went for 2 days and then packed up her things and left him. I was very impressed that she did not just roll over and take it, like so many of the other women here either choose or are forced to do because of economic dependence. The crappy thing is that she had to leave her children behind. Which is even worse considering that he isn’t even the one to take care of them. In general, fathers here aren’t particularly involved. But at least the kids usually adore them still – there are a few on campus where anytime their father is around, the kid is practically superglued to his legs. The children of this teacher basically ignore him. So hmmm. Anyways, that’s depressing that she had to leave them behind. And my anger at this injustice increased as I was passing his house a week later and saw an old lady outside sweeping. So basically, he’s still not taking care of the kids but instead had an old relative come to do all of the work.

I got a WONDERFUL phone call from Molly, Kat, and Ily a couple of weekends ago! So good to hear their voices and hear all of their updates! I was a little jealous that they were all together and going to the zoo :) But it was so sweet of them to think to call me and definitely the highlight of my weekend!

One of the teachers – Glory (Hotel & Catering instructor) – had a baby a couple of weeks ago! I didn’t even know she was pregnant lol. I guess I’m still on the outside of the gossip loop because no one ever talked about it around me. Or at least not in English. But anyways, I kept meaning to go visit her, but I never had a chance to go to town to buy her a baby present, so I kept delaying. Finally Glory brought her to MIRACLE so I got to see the baby who is just too cute! Priscilla. Had a fun time holding and playing with her while Glory did some work. We’re gonna be buds.

House update: The concrete floors are finished. The only thing left to do in the actual house is attach the window shutters and doors and install the toilet and sink. However, we also need to do the pit latrine and the septic tank, which is what is slowing everything down. And getting the water and electrical hooked up. Signed up for water but they said they don’t have the equipment so we should check back in a couple of weeks. Went yesterday to do electrical and they didn’t have the paperwork… and they said to come back in 1 week. Lord only knows why it takes a full week to photocopy some forms. So you can get an idea of how slow everything is going…. Also, I finally fired Cosmas, our crap builder who was stealing cement and lying every chance he got. I told him 4 weeks ago to come get the money for the cement so we could finish the pit latrine. It took him 3 weeks to come – despite frequent calls on my part – because he’d gone and gotten another job. I can guarantee you that if he hadn’t already been paid in full, my job would have been done within the first 4 days. But he finally came to get the cement money so I thought we were good to go. But then he told me that it’d be another week because he could start because he had to go to a funeral. Lie. Others had told me they’d seen him working at another job that very morning. Really I was just so sick of his lies, so I decided my sanity is worth far more than the $30 it would take to hire someone else to finish the job. I also got to give him a piece of my mind, although of course that meant nothing to him as he just kept insisting that I was wrong. Whatevs. Despite being rationally justified for laying out all of my problems with him, I still felt terrible afterwards for speaking to another human being like that. Ended up crying for a while but Banda was great, telling me over and over again that I had no reason to feel guilty as everything I said was true and that Cosmas needed to hear it and understand that impact he’d had on my life. Didn’t feel better though until Banda randomly picked out a movie for us to watch. And chose… The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I cannot think of anything better for my mood to watch at that point. Had a wonderful time singing along and laughing at Banda’s reactions to the scandal!

Banda was on a roll for picking out movies because the next night, he turns to me and says “What’s Grease about?” His favorite part? When Danny tries to find a sport to join. He rewound it to watch again and laughed hysterically throughout. He also enjoyed the dance scenes since the popular style of dancing here in Malawi is so different!

I had a very interesting hour-long talk with Mr. Singuini about the political and economic situation in Malawi. For those who do not regularly read Malawian news :) for the first time in 47 years of independence, Malawi is attempting to exist without foreign aid. This is huge, since 40% of their budget last year was in fact made up of such foreign aid. 40%!!! The reason for this change is not some patriotic, “let’s do it on our own” mentality. But instead, the president has pissed off the western world with his recent actions that are not so democratic. So they’ve frozen their support. And he (dilusionally?) thinks that Malawi can just say “F you” and do it on their own. Now, I’d LOVE to see a truly independent Malawi. One that can support itself and thrive and foster a population that is self-sufficient rather than one which is constantly expecting a handout. But realistically, I just don’t see that happening. Because the last 47 years of aid have been wasted and has just “disappeared” into the pockets of the government. So there is hardly anything to show for it. If there had been advances in infrastructure and resource garnering and education and higher education and economic initiatives, then sure, I’d be all with the President in his attempt to make it alone. But there’s not. So where are they going to get the necessary money? Instead, they’re raising the income tax to 46%. Read that again – 46%!!! So basically everything that anyone makes, they’ll lose half of it. And this is a flat rate. So as much as it bothers me as someone who makes a decent wage, it will absolutely cripple the poor, who need every tambala (cent) they earn to pay for the basic necessities. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that those individuals who do actually make enough to in turn invest those earnings in building up this country, will leave. Why would they want to give up half of their earnings? It’d be different if they’d be getting a lot back, like in the European countries where taxes are high but so are expectations of services. But here it will be the same services (if we’re lucky) but more likely much worse as the government scrounges for money. So there goes any other chance of building the country from within. PLUS they’re raising the taxes that foreign business owners have to pay. Goodbye foreign investors. Oh and the prices of food stuffs will also increase with that same tax. Soooo I really don’t know what’s going to happen to Malawi within the next few years. According to scientific reports, there have been advances in food supplies and supposed standard of living (although that’s hard to see on a local level) made in the last few years… but my worry is that that’s going to come to a screeching halt and then slowly begin to backslide. What happens when the government runs short of money? There’s no one to borrow from. Which civil servants are going to be the first to not receive their pay checks? Teachers. And then it’s only a matter of time before they go on strike and you have thousands of high school students just wandering around. T-R-O-U-B-L-E. And then there’s no money for medicine in the hospitals (even with the aid, there was never enough – people would have to go buy it from the private clinics). And then what if there’s not enough to pay the army and police? Oi. So anyways, I know this sounds all doom and gloom, but it’s not unrealistic to wonder about such a progression of events. I’m hoping against all hope that Malawi somehow manages to pull through and that this is a wonderful success. But my realistic side is skeptical. We’ll see.

I started my “English lessons” with Ms. Kim last week. I was VERY nervous since I’ve never taught English before (my class is more of a communications class). But it turned out to be AWESOME! She basically just wants me to chat with her and correct her when she makes mistakes. Because she says Malawians are too nice and won’t correct her so she’ll never learn proper English. So we went on a walk the first day and I got to hear even more stories about her life, which I love because she’s just fabulous! The next lesson we spent writing an email for her. I could see my value then since she was having a difficult time with getting all of the grammar down. I don’t blame her – there were a couple of times where I even had to think about it! Oh English. But yes, those 2 days a week are clearly going to be bright spots in my already lovely life.

Sad news. Brother Beams is leaving Malawi. He’s getting transferred to Nairobi at the end of the month. I’m so devastated about it that I can’t even think on it. Every time it pops into my head I have to push it away because my throat starts choaking up. Like right now. I love and respect that man so much, I can’t imagine not having him around.

On Saturday, instead of doing our grocery shopping, we spent 1 hour at the post office. That’s right, 1 hour. Sigh. Not even waiting in line. We were being “helped” the whole time. I wanted to send some letters to Molly and also had a small package of stuff for Chris. Well it took about 30 minutes for the lady to figure out how to duct tape the package closed. She had to call over her co-worker to help her. It was all I could do not to rip it out of her hand and do it myself. But I stayed calm and just enjoyed chatting with Banda and Peter Daino who also happened to be there. But then came the real doozy. I asked the lady to check if there were any packages for myself or for Laura. We only said “Laura” because I’ve said “Aldrich” before and that is just too much for them to handle. And I even had Banda say it so that the accent wouldn’t be an additional confusion. So she goes back there and says there’s nothing, only a box for Kat! I’m excited by this and explain to her that we stayed together so I can take it. She makes me show her my passport. Who knows why? But I have noticed that she stopped halfway down the shelf, so she didn’t read all of the names. And I can clearly see 2 boxes from the US postal service sitting on that shelf. How many other Americans are in Karonga?!? Peter had already picked up his box and I doubt there are too many others. It was worth a shot. PLUS the box from Kat had arrived at the post office in JULY of 2010!! 10 months ago! So yes, I think I have a right to be skeptical about their checking of names. Well she was all pissy so she carried an armful out and started waving them one by one in my face saying “See? Not for you!” I wanted to pop her in the face for being a smartass because I asked her to actually do her job for once. But sweet vindication. On the fourth package, well what do ya know?! A package for Laura! She tried to backpedal and say that she needed the last name. Don’t even try lady, that package had been sitting there for months throughout multiple checks where I did tell you the last name and you still failed to find it. So after this she was ready to be done. But she still hadn’t cleared the shelf so I asked her again to finish. Would you believe that she still copped an attitude even after being proven wrong about Laura’s package?! Well she did. And I was justified again as she pulled out a box from my mom that had been there for a month. So despite all of the fighting that had to go into it, I was content as I staggered away from the post office with 3 boxes full of goodies! Banda was proud of me. He refers to it as “Alyson vs. the Post Office Lady.” It was like a replay of “Laura vs. the Nurses.”

We had a holiday on Monday so we had to go back to town to finish the shopping that we never got to do thanks to the Post Office fiasco. Spent the rest of the day sleeping and watching Nigerian movies. Although made some awesome homemade Macaroni and Cheese courtesy of the Velveeta sent in one of the care packages :)

While in town, Banda and I picked out rings because we’re going to get our marriage certificate sometime this month. I want Beams to be the witness since he won’t be here for the actual church ceremony, plus it’ll be good to have it already done when Banda goes to get his visa for the US. And if Banda gets a work transfer order, he might be able to swing a “follow the wife” so that he can stay at Chaminade and I can stay at MIRACLE. Anyways, it just makes practical sense and since we already see ourselves as married, there’s no reason not to get that slip of paper. So we picked out rings. Let’s just say there’s not a large supply here. My ring? 50 kwacha. Which is about 33 cents. And I’ll tell you what. I look at it just as often as I would a huge diamond ring. Because it’s about what it means. I think of Banda and our relationship when I see it. Diamond or no diamond. It means just as much to me. Who needs something that costs 3 months salary? Banda is still trying to get used to wearing a ring since he’s never worn any jewelry before. It’s kind of adorable to look over and see him fiddling with it trying to get comfortable. :) Plus he has really big knuckles and small fingers, so it’s loose once on but he has to struggle to get it off. I told him that one day, he’ll gain weight and it’ll get stuck permanently, so we’ll have to cut his finger off to remove it. Priceless look of fear flooding his face. :)

End note: In rereading this and other blogs I’ve realized that they often seem fairly irritated and that life here is a struggle. It’s really not. I just write about those things because they are vastly different from life in the States and I feel like those differences are more interesting to read about then daily happenings. But rest assured, life here is still wonderful. I love work as I make my way through the library. I still love that life moves slowly here. I am feeling great healthwise (minus the ever-present back which I’ve learned to manage). I love living with Banda. The students still make me grin as do the kiddos that hang around. Life is good. Some days I really do want to go home to the US. So much that it hurts. I hate that I'm missing out on weddings and vacations and big things in people's lives. And the small things too. I miss having a comfortable life where I can relax for hours rather than having to do dishes and cooking and such. But I came to realize that I only feel sick about it when I focus on that desire. When I just let it go and just live in the moment of Malawi, I'm completely fine and I love my life. So I'm going to work on maintaining that positivism as much as possible. Because yes someday I will end up back in the US and then you know what? I'll be missing Malawi. It's just how it goes. So I'm going to enjoy it while I have the opportunity to be here!

A rant, of sorts. I do apologize in advance if this rambles on or upsets certain individuals but it’s been irking me all week whenever it flashes into my mind so I must therapeutically release it. Merci.

So the other day one of the Madames at MIRACLE came to me (completely out of the blue, I was just sitting there minding my own business) and asked me when Banda and I are going to “officially bless” our marriage. AKA Get married in the Catholic church. Sigh. I dislike this question but whatever, I hear it all the time, so I’ve gotten used to it. “Next year, when my parents can save enough money for the airfare to Malawi.” Normally this makes people happy and they move on. But nope, not her. She plows on and tells me that that’s not good because until then I cannot take communion (from the Catholic church) since I’m living in sin with Banda. Now let’s take 2 steps back here madame. First of all, where is this offensive judgment coming from? Especially when last week you were sitting there telling me that you were praying that I am pregnant. Let’s get your judgment straight. Secondly, I pretty much lost respect for the church’s dictation of who can and cannot receive communion when they denied it to my friend’s mother after she got a divorce because husband regularly beat the shit out of her. So no, I don’t really care what the church says on that topic. I thought Jesus was supposed to be all about inclusivity and love. Psh. Not here clearly. Thirdly, Banda and I consider ourselves to be husband and wife. We don’t need some piece of paper from the government or some blessing from a church that I don’t even go to, in order to make it valid in our hearts and actions. We are faithful. We are in this until we have gray hair and can’t even see each other anymore because we’re so blinded by age. In my view, our relationship is far more “holy” than the majority of those I’ve seen here where men are treated as superior and also regularly cheat on their wives. In fact, this calls to mind a pillar of our very own local Catholic church who had a major sexual scandal last year with one of the high school girls he taught… So don’t you dare come to me madame and damn our relationship. But I kept all of that inside because I did not want to unleash upon her a whole 2 years worth of frustration about the religious hypocrisy here. I did make my main mistake in response though. I said “Well I don’t go to church here anyway, so…” Sigh. Big mistake. I should’ve known better. But it just popped out. I thought her head was going to explode. So I went on to explain that I don’t understand the Chitumbuka so it’s basically 3 hours of just sitting, not understanding anything being said, and distracting people by playing with children. Really, what’s the point of going? And that instead I just pray at home where I get much more out of it. Normally this explanation satisfies people and they move on. But again, not her. She launched into this whole thing about how I should still go for the community. “Well madame, I get enough community at work and with Chaminade teachers and my neighbors. And those are the same people who have good enough English at church to commune with me anyway.” She remained undeterred. She said that she was going to talk to the brothers about me. Excuse me?!? It is none of your freaking business whether or not I go to church! So don’t you dare bring my bosses into this! Not to mention the fact that they already know I don’t go to church. Next she switched veins completely and told me that I should go with Banda to his church because we are “one flesh now so you must do what your husband does.” By this point I’m ready to pop her a good one. No I will not convert simply because I am married. I am still my own being. I still have my own brain and my own principles and my own ideals. By this point I think she could tell I was more than a little irritated by her preaching. I mean, I didn’t say outloud any of my mental backlash but I’m sure some of it was showing on my face. So she said she’d come to me later with the issue. “Really Madame, you don’t need to come back to me about his.” She left. And then returned an hour later to tell me that even though I said I’d already made my decision that she was still going to come and that “little by little” I’d come to see the right way. OMG. So now I’m going to have to listen to this for weeks on end… I think the thing that is most frustrating about all of this is that I cannot sit down and have a reasonable conversation with her where I can explain my views. Because her conception of faith is just so narrow and confined to what she was brought up with, that she would never understand or accept my side. Just the few things I tried to slip in here, she completely rejected. Because I consider myself to be a spiritual person. I believe in something bigger than myself. It may not always be the God that you believe in, but to my side I think it’s more important that you have something grounding you and keeping you compassionate than to have a specific name for that greater purpose. And I have that belief which pushes me towards a better personhood. I have a set of principles (morals if you will) by which I strive to live my life. Compassion. Generosity. Honesty. Respect. Awareness. Simplicity. Gratitude. Courage. Patience. Acceptance. Peace. Hmm sounds like that’s suspiciously similar to what one would call a Christian life, no? Certainly more so than the thieves who have been stealing cement from my house and yet their main defense is that they’re leaders of their churches. Ha. So sue me if I don’t label my decency as “Christian.” I live a life of service rather than one of personal wealth or power. I strive to be generous with my time and resources in my everyday life while most people’s faith exists merely within the four walls of a Sunday church. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to toot my own horn. I’m just trying to demonstrate my frustration with the fact that the objecting Madame will never see all of this as a valid expression of faith. Nope, it’s just “WHAT?! You don’t go to Church?” packed full of judgment and a desire to convert me to “the truth.” But alas I see much disappointment in her future. I am content with myself and my spirituality. I feel more at peace now than I ever did when I was going to church every Sunday and swallowing wholeheartedly every dictum that was presented to me by the religious educators. I refuse to ever again just accept without question, without intellectual debate, or without a thoughtful consideration of the ramifications. That to me seems to be the useless (and often irresponsible) faith.

We were supposed to go down to Blantyre a couple of weeks ago to pick up the donated library books from customs. I was actually excited about the trip as it meant a chance to shop at some grocery stores that carry western products, eat at some new restaurants that serve something other than Malawian staples, and go to a legit hospital to get my back x-rayed to finally see what’s up with that. Buuuut the customs guy called and said the books hadn’t even arrived in South Africa yet! Awesome. So the new expected date of them being in Blantyre is the middle of June – a whole month late. We’ll see if they even keep to that time schedule!

So about my back, I’ve had a couple of bad weeks on that as it keeps flaring up. Really it’s been hurt for 4 months. Constant pain, literally 24/7. It’s mainly in my lower back but shoots up my spine and down into my right leg. Can’t sit or stand comfortably. The only thing that works is laying and even then I have to shift around constantly to find something that doesn’t send pain everywhere. So I don’t know what’s wrong with it. 4 months seems too long for it to be a strained muscle. And yet I didn’t do anything awful to it that would suggest a herniated disc or something. If I were in the US I would’ve taken care of it immediately with a chiropractor or surgery or whatever was necessary because it’s been pretty debilitating. I can’t do half of the tasks at home since carrying heavy buckets of water is a vital step in basically every task. And at work, I will go days without working on the books because I can’t lift them since doing so will mean I can’t walk for the next few days. But there aren’t any chiropractors here and I doubt there are even any massage people who would know what they’re doing either. And I’m not letting someone untrained poke around my back. So in the meantime to make it through I take a couple of breaks each day to lie on the library table. This bothers Envie (my coworker) to no end and has even resulted in her telling me to just go home. But it’s not like I have a choice. It’s either that or crying, darling!

This back pain has only enhanced the MIRACLE staff’s conviction that I’m pregnant. I’ve stopped even trying to convince them that I’m not. Because it’s falling on deaf ears lol. Madame Mwalweni even called me in last week to have a talk with me about pregnancy. Her reasons for thinking I’m pregnant? 1. My face is rosy. She says this is a symptom. Really, Madame? How many azungu have you seen pregnant because I’m pretty sure that African women do not get a rosy complexion… 2. I’ve lost weight. This one makes me laugh. First they were saying I was getting fatter and thus preggars. Now they say I’ve lost weight, so that’s a sign too. I think they’re just searching for any reason now… Cracks me up. Also, Madame thinks that the reason why I don’t know I’m pregnant is that the baby is a girl so she’s just shy and hiding. *Facepalm* She was actually serious. I love that woman so much. So anyways, they’re going to be disappointed in 9 months methinks.

We had a welcoming party at MIRACLE during which I was welcomed (yet again), bringing the total parties of which I was a guest of honor to 3. First welcomed as a volunteer, then farewelled, and now welcomed again as a real employee. Had a fun time chatting with Glory and hearing about her soon-to-be born baby (just found out this morning that she had a baby girl! Yay – soon I’ll have a new baby on campus to play with!). Also drank multiple bottles of Cherry Plum and enjoyed their equivalent of beef jerky. Danced a bit but really just got a kick out of watching the male teachers try to convince the females to dance with them. Looked a little bit like they were just trying to herd some goats together as the girls kept trying to escape.

Last weekend we had a little mini-holiday because we had Monday off. So Banda and I decided to go down to Maji Zuwa which is a lodge about an hour and a half away and not coincidentally about as far as I can go with my back pains. Luckily I was able to sit in the front seat of the minibus so it wasn’t too bad…. Except for when a new mother came in and just spread herself out into my seat. Can’t really elbow a baby in the head, so I just suffered through until she got off. Had a lovely time at the lodge. It still has a really quiet atmosphere which is fine with me, as we just spent our time swimming, lounging around, chatting with Frank, and playing Bawo. I beat Banda for the first time ever so that was a proud moment! Kaunda and his wife and Annie and her husband drove down for one of the days so we also had a fun time swimming and chatting with them. Always funny to run into Chaminade people off-campus. They showed us a little beach down the way that actually has sand rather than slippery rocks, so that was very welcome as well. The waves were particularly rough which, although making me nervous for Banda who is not so great of a swimmer, was also adorable to watch him squeal as the waves almost swept him off his feet. There was a brie (BBQ) on Sunday afternoon so the place was full of people which was a fun change. Although having to sit and listen to the drunk chief ask me for airfare to America was not so much fun :) The brie was sponsored by Matt’s mom who was visiting him with her boyfriend. So that was nice to chat with them and then Matt and I also had a very nice chat as we had a couple of beers and mused about life in Malawi. A lovely weekend away!

We returned on Monday afternoon just in time for a lunch date with Jim and Robyn (our nurse friends from America and Australia). They have just returned from holiday and were forced to move into a new house which is ridiculously huge and not to their liking as they preferred their former small abode. Got the grand tour and then lounged out on the porch which is the best part of the whole place. Enjoyed their cooking and conversation as usual but the best part was dessert – Snickers bars!! I never bought them here because I thought they were too expensive, but upon checking this weekend, they’re really only $1.25. Snickers bars, here I come. It was nice to see them again and as always I appreciate that they watch over me just as they did with all of the volunteers.

Someone’s been jumping over our back wall and stealing things. But in a very odd manner. Things taken? My razor. Banda’s boxers. Banda’s flipflops. An odd assortment considering there were several pots/pans/dishes out there as well as clothes and our stove-top cooker. I am rather sad about the razor since it was one of those nice ones where you just replace the cartridges. Fortunately, though, Banda fashioned a new handle out of half a clothes-pin!

Despite my back, I’ve actually had a really good couple of weeks health-wise. I don’t know if it was all of those meds wiping out anything bad in my system or the fact that I’m back on doxycycline (daily anti-malarial meds) so that’s suppressing everything. But I’ve had more energy and felt more like myself than I have in the 5 months since being back. So that is a huge relief. It’s made all of the difference in my general mood – feeling unwell all the time sucks! – so I’m very grateful and hoping that it keeps continuing this way!

Realized that I need to stop trying to reason with my house builder because it’s just never going to work. How did I decide this? Well Banda and I spent about 10 solid minutes trying to convince him that 50 kgs of cement weighs the same as 50 kgs of corn. Sigh. If you can’t accept that, sir, then I just give up.

We went to a concert at Planet for Organised Family and Wendy (forgot her last name). Unfortunately the people we went with insisted on getting there 2 hours before the guys started playing so I was pretty done with it all before it even started. Did enjoy dancing for a while but then it got to the point in the night where all of the guys in the audience were drunk and staggering and fighting and pushing, which is never really fun to be in the middle of. One of the artists played something suspiciously like a country song that made me laugh. Country music in Malawi – oi vey. Wendy was also pretty hilarious with all of her dancing antics onstage. All-in-all though it still did not even come close to matching the Baska Baska/Peterson concert. It also seems that girls have gotten skankier (and drunker) since I was at Planet a year ago, at least in terms of their clothing. It’s a bad sign when you can’t tell a hule (prostitute) from a college girl. I honestly had no idea half the time who was who. Also, BIG NEWS. Planet is classing itself up, former volunteers. It has its name on the building with a flashing spotlight. There’s a neon sign pointing you to the back bar. There’s a second bar where the couch/lounge used to be – I actually think that was a mistake lol. But most impressively is the bathroom! For those of you who have not had the sheer honor of going to Planet, let me describe the old bathroom for you. There was no door. So everyone stood there and watched you pee. There was no toilet seat. There was rarely any water to flush it. And no toilet paper, so I always had to bring a pocketful from home. And there was a shower right in front of the toilet, so girls would just pee in the shower while you’re on the toilet. Awesome lol. But NOW, there’s a door! Wowzers, this alone is news. Also, there’s a toilet seat and toilet paper. And a mirror and a functioning sink! If I had brought my camera, I definitely would have taken a picture I was so blown away. Next time. Got home around 2 am.

Dragged ourselves out of bed early the next morning to do our weekly shopping. Also went to immigration so Banda can get a passport and then bike taxied all over town trying to go to the water board and electric companies. Failed as they were closed early, so we headed over to the Museum restaurant where we were due to have lunch with Ms. Kim (the Korean opera singer). Her son was here to visit so in honor of that she was having a lunch concert. Her students get better every time we hear them and I thoroughly enjoyed sitting there listening to their new jazz numbers. Ms. Kim wants me to teach her English… eek. I agreed before I realized what she was saying. I thought she just wanted to chat to practice her English. But nope. Twice a week. Paid. That’s nice, but I have no idea what to do. How do I teach English to someone whose English I think is already just fine? We’ll see how it goes….

Bit the bullet and bought the $3.50 can of tuna. Made tuna salad sandwiches and it was GLORIOUS. So worth it. Now if only I can find olives, the meal will be complete… Banda actually loved it too – a surprise since my family makes it with carrots and onions in it – so I think it will be a semi-regular meal, despite the cost.

So. Bad news. Sick again. This time, quite bad. Started out with a simple UTI which have just about driven me around the bend here. I’ve basically had them for 3 months straight. They go away for a couple of days but then always come back. This means that I can’t go anywhere because I have a peeing emergency every 30 minutes. I can barely make it in town much less go to Embangweni or Nkhata Bay or anywhere else remotely fun. So I went to Mbukwa Clinic on Saturday which is a private clinic in town. Was very impressed by the doctor – he really seemed to understand UTIs, whereas the other doctors I’ve told just have blank faces of no recognition. But he went off talking about why women are more prone to them and how they’re becoming drug resistant. I was impressed. Anyways, got the meds. Went home. Ended up having a massive headache that has been persisting now for 6 days. Also was queasy. I figured these were just side effects of the drugs because that’s just too big of a coincidence to get malaria on the same day as the drugs begin. But then I started getting fevers and really bad chills. I’ve never had such chills where I was little convulsing because my body wouldn’t stay still. Thank goodness for Ibuprofen as that would lower it enough so I could sleep. Still woke up a couple of times with the chills though. The next morning (Monday) Banda decided I should go to the hospital since the fever/chills/awful feeling are all classic signs of malaria (plus the headaches and nausea) and were scaring him. Big debate about where to actually go. I’d sworn off KDH. Never again. But none of the private clinics have the laboratories needed to do a urinalysis (which we wanted to determine if the UTI was more severe and thus the cause of the fever). So we went to KDH. And it was a completely LOVELY experience! I was shocked. I’ve decided that they put all of their competent, nice people on the day shift and the awful ones at night :) We walked in and were greeted with smiles and respectful concern. The nurses loved me from the get-go. In fact, I wish I had been feeling better so I truly could have enjoyed our chatting. We were buds. And they told me that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. Love how I was apparently the last person in the world to know. (Side note: People dancing in the streets celebrating it? Oh some Americans (not all clearly), sometimes I shake my head at ya’ll. I wanted to crawl under the table when that news story came on in a crowded restaurant. I get that he was an awful guy. But celebrating an assassination? Yes let’s just meet hate with more hate. Sigh.). The clinical officer was the same guy who called me a drug addict before… I was worried when I saw it was him. But I think he had an attack of the conscience because he acted like he didn’t know me and was very professional and actually listened to my symptoms and treated me with respect. I was thankful. Although I did have one moment of wanting to pop him in the mouth. He asked if I’d had the kidney stone verified by an ultrasound and I wanted to say “no, jackass, you called me a drug addict and sent me away to writhe in pain for 4 days.” But he was perfectly nice, so I acted accordingly. I guess it makes all the difference when there aren’t insane nurses around who scream at you and lie when presenting your symptoms to the clinical officer. Took a malaria test which came back negative. Was told to come back the next morning for the urinalysis and an ultrasound to make sure my kidneys were clear. So we went home and came back the next morning, Tuesday. Spent 4 hours at the hospital. Oi. And that was only so short because Banda kept irritating them so much by constantly checking on the lab that I think they just wanted to get rid of us. Spent most of the time on the floor as there were so many people there. I’d say at least 100 in the lab/x-ray waiting area. God only knows how many there were in the other areas. I can’t imagine working at that hospital… I think I’d spend my life depressed and stressed beyond belief knowing that I’d never be able to serve them the way they should be served. So God bless the ones who manage to do it every day with a smile. I think it would also drive me crazy that things are done so inefficiently. I feel like they could just change a couple of simple administrative things and it would make a world of difference. Anyways, the urinalysis was all clear – not surprising since by that point I’d been taking the UTI antibiotics for 3 days. Had to wait 2 hours for the ultrasound guy to show up, but the scan also showed no remaining stones so that puts my mind at ease a bit. That was actually pretty fun although definitely had no idea what I was looking at! After those 3 hours we then got to wait for another hour to see the clinical officer. Who basically just told me that everything was negative so I should keep taking the UTI drugs and come back next week if I still feel sick. Thank you for that gem of wisdom sir. So it was basically a pointless 4 hours but at least I know I don’t have a kidney infection (which of course I’d convinced myself was the case). So I went home. Wednesday I woke up with a banging headache, massive sinus pressure, and diarrhea (sorry, TMI I know, but it’s important for the story). Again, malaria, anyone? Banda decided that he didn’t care what the test said, I was getting the malaria drugs. This makes me uneasy. But it’s also pretty much the only option. Everything else came back clean and for the other stuff – Typhoid, TB – I have had recently updated vaccines. And if it were a simple sinus infection, I wouldn’t have stomach problems. Likewise, if I’d eaten something weird or had a stomach bug, I wouldn’t have the sinus issues, cough, or headache. If watching ‘House’ taught me anything, it’s to look for the all-encompassing illness. Getting 2 illnesses concurrently is doubtful. So malaria was the last shot. Plus I have multiple friends who have tested negative even though they clearly have malaria and they improved with the meds. So I figured I might as well. Because by this point, I’d been sick for 4 days. My main worry was if I just leave it, then I’d feel pretty stupid/dead in 4 more days when it’s gotten ridiculously severe. So we went to Maneno Clinic this time and got the meds. Took them for 4 days. No real change. The general feeling of listlessness went away, but in the last 2 days of it I developed a wicked cough and then an ear infection to join the stomach problems. So we went to Care Private Clinic in order to get medicine for the ears/cough because to be honest, I am a baby about ear infections. And this is coming from someone who already admits to not doing well with being sick. But ear infections? I was crying from it within 3 minutes of it starting. Went to Care where the guy was ridiculously arrogant. Bent over and got a shot of penicillin in the butt. Spent 30 minutes thinking I was going to seize because OMG what if I didn’t know I was allergic? Made it through that hurdle. Took his antibiotics for 4 days. Still have the cough. And my ears still hurt when I yawn. I’m done with medicine. And incompetent doctors who are just guessing. Because as a summary: 5 trips to 4 different hospital/clinics; 5 different doctors; 5 different medications; 2 malaria tests; 1 urinalysis; and 1 ultrasound. It’s just been a pain in the butt experience overall. Bu-dum-ching. Because my behind still hurts – 4 days later – from that damn shot. At least I still make myself laugh.

So my holiday turned out to be not so eventful! Just around the house, watching movies, cooking, and cleaning. Banda went back to work after the first week, so I was alone a lot but that’s fine because the whole morning is consumed by practical tasks – washing dishes, cooking lunch, collecting water, showering – and then the afternoon is relaxing. Back to work on Monday. I don’t think I’m ready for it. I like just being around the house and I don’t feel like it’s been 3 weeks off, that’s for sure! I even had an extra week because the last week was supposed to be First Aid training. But it was in vernacular. And I’ve been certified since I was 15 since I’ve always been a lifeguard. So I got excused from that, thank goodness!

Awful bat experience 2.0: Well I told ya’ll before about the bats swooping in and out, scaring the living daylights out of me. I’ve also had bats fly up out of the hole while I’m over it… again, terrifying. I thought those were the worst things possible. I was wrong. So one night a few weeks ago, the bat was swooping in and out as usual. I remained calm. Tried to finish peeing so I could get the heck out of there. And then the bat’s stupid radar system must’ve malfunctioned because it hit the ceiling – BAM – and a second later I feel something hit my back. That’s right. The bat fell on my back. AHHH. And then to make matters worse, I’m trying to brush it off but it has decided to HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE. WTF stupid bat?! Apparently I was screaming bloody murder – I don’t remember hearing it – because Banda came running out. By this point I’ve finally smacked the bat off and have run out of the chimbuzi (pit latrine) with my underwear and shorts down around my ankle. Good moment in our relationship. Anyways, the bat escaped. And we started a 3 week vendetta against these damn bats. Because oh that’s right, we realized there are not 2. Not 3. But 4 f-ing bats who have made our latrine home. So we’ve spent multiple nights standing by the door with brooms and mops, trying to knock them out of the sky. When that didn’t work, we tried to Doom (like Raid) them to death and cover the hole to let them suffocate. I think we might have killed 2 that way. But there are still 2 hanging on, swooping up while I’m crouched over the hole. Let me tell ya, there’s nothing much scarier than looking into the eyes of a bat as it’s flying towards your exposed behind. Shudder. I spent a week or so refusing to pee in the latrine after dark, choosing instead to just pee in the bushes. I’ve since gone back in – recurring UTIs, periods, bouts of stomach issues, and malaria will do that to a person. Fortunately, the bat and I have entered into a truce. I walk slowly up to the door, dragging my feet to make enough noise. He flies out and (usually) keeps out until I’m done. Thank goodness.

Had a lovely moment of going to church with Banda. He goes to the New Apostolic church which is apparently similar to Roman Catholic. He doesn’t go very often because it’s in Ngonde (language) which he doesn’t understand, but he still likes going for the community aspect. So we went one weekend and I knew it was going to be wonderful just from the feeling of happiness as we wove our way through the rice fields, barely peeping out above the tall reeds. And when he pointed out the mango tree from across the field and said that’s where the church is. They used to have a building but it was destroyed in the earthquakes last year. So now they just set up a little altar and some school forms (benches) under the mango tree. As I was sitting there I just kept thinking, “This is the way religion should be.” Who needs a huge church that costs millions to build and is so ornate it’s practically a royal palace? Psh. Give me a mango tree with corn fields on one side and rice paddies on the other any day. So since I didn’t understand any of the language, I basically just enjoyed my surroundings and made faces/friends with the baby sitting next to me. They did introduce me (as they do all visitors in small churches here) which caused some excitement and hilarity as first they thought we were brother and sister (really?!) and then Madame Mumba stood up and explained that we were actually married. Good ol’ Madame.

Had a very interesting conversation about politics in Malawi because things here are a little stirred up at the moment. Not in action but more in thought as a lot of people are growing more irritated with the President. Democracy seems to be struggling a bit and he recently kicked the British Ambassador out of Malawi because he’s been critical of suspected human rights violations. So anyways, politics are always a topic of conversation here and I’ve recently been wondering how people think politically here because when I came 18 months ago, people loved the President. My main question was about the different platforms of parties. Because there are a plethora of parties so I was curious as to what makes them unique and thus attractive to different voters. Well in response he told me this whole explanation of how political parties form. AKA the concept of different platforms is not known here. He was very interested when I explained to him how Democrats and Republicans have different notions of how things should be addressed. So basically whenever someone wants to run for office here in Malawi, they just form their own new party. And then they pick a few things as their “causes” – i.e. health, food, freedom. Real examples I promise. And that’s it. No actual explanation of how to implement those things. I mean everyone wants freedom and enough food. But how to do it? It seems like opposing sides could lay out different plans for food security, no? But not here. He said that the opposing party isn’t allowed to pick the same things as their causes because that would be “plagiarism.” So basically it boils down to them just picking someone who is charismatic and who they like as a personality. Obviously in the U.S. charisma also plays its role, but at least (I hope) there’s some sense of the issues.

The madames on campus (teachers’ wives mainly and the 2 female teachers at Chaminade) have a group that takes care of a lot of the social welfare issues around Chaminade. For example, when someone’s in the hospital, they cycle through cooking meals for the family. When there’s a party for school, the women do all of the cooking. And when someone new moves to campus, they come to the house to officially greet and welcome. This is what I was privy to a couple of weekends ago. Madame Mvula and Madame Nkhata stopped by the weekend before (of course while I was washing dishes so I – and the house – was a wreck) to let me know they’d all be coming the next weekend. Enter “Alyson being terrified and nauseous for an entire week.” I was having flashbacks of the first women party where I spent the whole time trying to stave off a panic attack and making everything think I was a weirdo in the process. Sigh. But I bought the snacks, chilled extra water and tried to wring as much information out of Banda as possible about what might happen. Because it’s not just about being shy and having to keep up conversation with a bunch of women who barely speak English. The real anxiety was stemming from hosting. If they’d been coming to greet me in America? No problem. Plop yourself down on the couch and I’ll grab you a soda. But here tradition and expected signs of respect are so interwoven into everything, that my mind reeled. I kept trying to tell myself that 1. I get a lot of free passes for my clumsiness since they just attribute it to me being a crazy mzungu and 2. That they already have impressions of me and I can’t change them, so why worry. That kept it down to a near panic. 5 minutes before 3 pm Banda scooted out of the house and I was left alone to await the masses. Oh but he told me there would probably only be 5 or 6 women. Wrong. Try 18. They “Odi”ed which is the word you call out when approaching a house. I opened the door and squeaked “Tampokelelani” meaning “You are most welcome.” That apparently wasn’t enough because they just stood there until I said “Njirani” which means “Please get in.” Oh man lol I huddle by the door as they come flooding in. We’re all wearing chitenjes. Thank God I knew enough to know that that attire was expected. Madame Nkhata hands me a wrapped basin… without saying anything… I assume it’s for me and take it into the kitchen. They all squeeze in on the floor and our couch and I perch anxiously on my chair. I tell them all to “feel free” and that they are most welcome in our home. Silence. I forgot to go around and shake all of their hands. Whoops. More silence. Finally one of the Madames pipes up. They do self introductions and then tell me about the works they do around campus. This is all interspersed with silence and then Chitumbuka (vernacular language) as they bicker amongst themselves about who should talk. The one female teacher who has perfect English is inexplicably silent lol. So anyways, they finish all of the updates and decide that there’s no point in sitting around because we can’t chat with one another. I do know enough vernacular to get that. So they ask for the basin back. P.A.N.I.C. Oh my god I was mortified, thinking that I had stolen someone else’s flour as my own when really they were just handing it to me for safe-keeping until we went to Madame Mughogho’s house (our next stop). So, face like a tomato and shaking like a leaf, I scurry into the kitchen and return with the basin. Hi-larious laughter. They explain that I can keep what’s in it. They just want the dish back. Thanks universe at least I wasn’t stealing flour. But now the question is where to put it? We don’t have basins. So while they all wait restlessly in the living room, I’m in the kitchen trying to untie the knot with shaky hands. Thank goodness for Annie (the teacher who speaks perfect English) who came in to save me! Of course Banda calls at this point of chaos. The women run my phone into me and I’m faced with a dilemma. Answer the phone while they’re rummaging around thinking I’m an incompetent fool? Or ignore my husband – huge scandal here? I answer the phone. Cut him short. Turn around and see that Annie has grabbed the baking flour bag and is about to dump in their gift. Thank goodness I realized in time… because they were giving us maize flour (for nsima). Would’ve ruined a whole bag! Finally get that sorted out and then we all walk next door together to do the same thing for Mrs. Mughogho. And then on to Annie’s house to give condolences for her cousin who had passed away. All in all, a very terrifying afternoon. Although I do think it is a lovely sentiment and I’m now prepared for the next time when Banda gets repositioned elsewhere in Malawi.

So I know I owe ya’ll a house update because it’s been a few weeks since I’ve mentioned it. The only problem is, it makes me so livid and puts me in such a foul mood, that I’ve been trying to avoid writing this post. But I’ve got a little split-screen action going on and am watching “Modern Family” simultaneously, so I’m hoping that wonderfulness will cancel out the rage. Because let’s be honest. The house is a nightmare. From beginning to end, it’s been one battle after another. It’s probably good that Laura left when she did, because I think she would have lost it long ago and we would have had a recreation of the hospital’s verbal undressing. Which is precisely what I did eventually. :) So at the beginning everything seemed to be going okay. It was all going very quickly with the actual building. But that’s just because I trusted people and didn’t truly see what was going on. Theft. That’s right, turns out people were stealing from me. Not only metaphorically stealing from me by creating jobs, presenting them as necessary, while I eventually find out they’re not. But literally stealing bags of cement and then reselling them. Cosmas. The builder. The one who I truly trusted and thought was awesome. Nope. One of my neighbors came to me and told me she had seen it happening and her conscious would not allow it to go unsaid. So we halted work on the project and attempted to have some consequences. Many meetings ensued but Cosmas denied the allegations (of course) and unfortunately the lady was too scared to come testify. Because she is old and lives alone in that neighborhood and was afraid the guys would come beat her up. And there’s no such thing as a police or legal presence here that could protect her. Which as a woman, I completely understand. Enter Flipout #1: Cosmas kept calling the lady a liar and when I explained to him why she was scared, he blew it off as if she were stupid. Oh I flipped out and basically told him to step the hell off because he is a privileged man in a chauvinistic society so he cannot understand. But anyways, we had a bunch of meetings and delayed for 2 weeks but nothing came of it. Drives me ABSOLUTELY INSANE that that asshole just got away with stealing from me. And that there’s nothing I can do about it. So clearly I did not want to continue with him. The only problem is that we’re so close from finishing that hiring someone else to pick up where he left off would cost even more money. And I keep hearing that all builders here are crooked, so who’s to say that the next guy wouldn’t steal too. Which side note is really upsetting to me. Whatever happened to common decency and honesty?! They claim to be such a Christian peoples, full of neighborly goodness and big on respect. But where is that when you’re stealing from me and trying to milk every last dime out of me?! F-ing hypocritical. But I digress. So we decided to keep Cosmas since it’d be too costly to switch. Had yet another meeting where we informed him that we wanted a discount on his labor costs. Because we’ve spent over 100,000 Kwacha on labor alone…. More than the cost of bricks and cement… which is totally ridiculous. I’ll explain why it was so much during another paragraph about their costly “mistakes” and “misunderstandings.” Point being, we got a discount and work continued. So at this point, the house is basically finished. They’ve finished the plastering and flooring. They just need to do some plaster around the foundation to keep the bricks from washing away. And then the plumber needs to install the toilet and sink. And then they need to do the septic tank and pit latrine. I’m just so ready for it to be finished. This really just has been a nightmare. To be honest, my 4 months of being back in Malawi have been filled with infinitely more frustrations than my year before. And I’ve had many more moments of wanting to come home. Not only immediately. But also in the future. I always said that I’d stay here as long as it made me happy. Well lately I’ve been envisioning that change to not being happy coming a lot sooner than previously imagined. But just today, I realized that 90% of that frustration has come from the house. Having to fight people on every single step, feeling like no one is listening to you, and being cheated repeatedly by people who are supposed to be your neighbors? Really not good emotionally. So I keep reminding myself that soon it will be over. And that I will not judge my return to Malawi until it is. Because then I think everything will shake down to living here still being a good life decision for the present and near future. Side note: I’d stopped Modern Family to go check on some boiling eggs and then came back and was typing without restarting the show…. All of a sudden I just noticed that my stress level had risen dramatically. Reason? I’m saying the lack of that hilarity. So I wanted to give some examples of these frustrations so that ya’ll can get an idea of what I’ve been dealing with every single day. There have been so many things that they’ve done which are contrary to my express instructions. Or they don’t even ask but just do stuff and then tell me about it later. And all they say is “sorry” but who has to pay for it?! Me. That’s who. Because there’s no concept here of professional accountability. They do whatever they want and then just show up with the bill and you can’t object because they’ve already “done the work.” - Simple House vs. Perfect Advertisement. The main root of the problem. At the very beginning of all of this – when Cosmas and I were discussing floor plans – I made it expressly clear that what I wanted was a simple home. That I just needed somewhere to move for now that would be safe and big enough for 2. That this was not my dream home where I would spend the rest of my life. That Banda would be transferred at some point, so it would spend most of its time being rented. Now how on earth would one translate that into “Please make something perfect that you Mr. Builder can use as an advertisement of your skills.” Not at all. But that’s what he told me when we questioned him on how the cost had ballooned into twice as much as the original budget. That he wanted it to be perfect and top of the line. So that other people would want to hire him in the future. Even though every time I was presented with an option, I would always pick the cheaper one. Never once did I say, “Oh yes please pick the best one.” No, I always said “whatever is cheaper.” Lime, paint, window frames, doors, wall supports, bricks, cement mixtures. EVERYTHING. Always went for the cheaper option. But nope, he found his way to use more supplies and use more workers and Bam. I could have smacked him when he said that about it being an advertisement. And all I got out of him was a “sorry.” Well tell you what buddy, your “mistake” and “advertisement” just cost me a few thousand US dollars. But your “sorry” really makes up for all that. Not. - Sheer Laziness. This mainly centered around assistants… he went and hired multiple assistants without telling me until the job was almost done. And then what can I say? They’ve done the work, they have to be paid. Note: They were never around when I came to the site. I kept telling him that I hired him as a builder… not a contractor. If you’re too lazy to do the work yourself, YOU pay for the help, not me. But again, that concept is lost on him. We’ve had huge fights about this and yet for the pit latrine and the septic tank, they’ve requested more assistants. I just want to scream at him: “are you kidding me?!” He never learns. The thing that actually made me lose it completely and start unleashing my anger on him was about assistants. When we did the discounts, their current assistant decided that it wasn’t enough money so he quit. They failed to hire a new one. I was happy since I’d never authorized an assistant in the first place. And then Cosmas came to me when the job was finished and said that he was claiming the assistant money because… get this… he was his own assistant. Hold the F up, buddy. How can you be your own assistant for work that you were supposed to be doing on your own anyway?!? - I say one thing, they do another. I tell them not to make a door yet. I come home one day and there’s a door sitting outside my house. I tell them specifically which lock to buy. The guy shows up and tells me that he has bought one that is far more expensive. I ask for the driver to go look to see if the road is passable and to come back to me with feedback. He decides that it’s not and then just goes and buys bricks elsewhere without consulting me about any of this. - Not doing things honestly or rationally. Not carrying full truck loads of materials. Huge problem when transport somehow became the most expensive part of the house-building. The carpenter just cutting the door instead of doing measurements. Now there’s an inch gap up top. So we need a new door. Cannot even imagine the fight that will ensue, even though it was clearly his ineptitude that caused the problem. Women still carrying water and expecting to be paid… when we’d halted work on the house. Who carries water when no one is using it?!?!? The carpenter comes to me and says he needs timber for fischer boards. This to me means that it’s necessary for the structure of the house. I then show up and find out that they’re just some stupid boards that are put up for decoration. Every time I look at those damn boards it makes me want to spit. We spent a good hour fighting with the water ladies about finishing their job. Namely spreading water over the concrete floor so that it wouldn’t crack. Everyone knew this was a necessary task. The job isn’t done until we decide that things have been done properly. I’m sorry, but a cracked floor is not okay. So their job isn’t finished until the floor is fine. The whole time I just kept thinking “I can’t believe that we’re fighting about something so obvious.” Clearly just another case of people trying to get more money than they deserve. We had another fight with the builders about the septic tank. He claims that building it should be a separate job and thus deserving of more labor charges. Umm no. It’s a self-contained house. This means that it has a toilet and a shower inside. How can you have that without a septic tank?!?! It just doesn’t make sense. It’s part of finishing that house. Without it, that whole room just doesn’t work. Now to Banda and I (and hopefully to ya’ll) the logic of that is clearly sound. But nope, he just kept saying that it was a separate job. And could not give me a rational reason when I asked. Well I’ll tell you what, sir, you’ve destroyed your right to say something is so and have me just believe it. That fight is still outstanding… Let you know who wins. And finally, the sand. The truck owner comes and says the builders requested 3 more loads of sand. Now that’s funny, because I had seen them the day before and they never mentioned that. So I go to talk it over with them. The sand is already at the site. It was there when they got there that morning. They never asked for it. So basically, the truck owner 1. Flat out lied and said they needed it and 2. Did the work before I authorized it. I’m so sick of all of this dishonesty!! So now there’s just sand sitting there unused. And yet he’s going to try to charge me 15,000 for the trips. Again, another fight still waiting to be had. - Guilting the mzungu. We spent over $100 on food for the workers. Now, I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but here in Malawi it’s an astronomical amount. I don’t even spend that much in a month at the market buying everything (3 meals-a-day of food, household supplies, etc) that our 2 person house needs for the whole month. So how can it be that much for 3 guys’ basic lunches for 3 weeks? Oh that’s right, because the water ladies were also hanging around so they could eat. Totally unacceptable. Way too much money. Especially because we weren’t even obligated to be feeding them. Yet another thing that they presented as necessary only to find out later that it wasn’t. But yet when we told them that we were no longer feeding them, they freaked out and we spent yet another hour fighting about it and explaining to everyone involved. And then the best part. The guilting. They tried to make me feel bad that they hadn’t eaten any lunch that day. I’m sorry but no. When I showed up at the house, one guy was sleeping and the other was off at the video show. So clearly you’d stopped working for the day. If you’re so freaking hungry, go home and eat. Stop sittin’ around waiting to have something handed to you. You have wives who have spent years cooking for you and will willingly prepare lunch for you so you can pop in and eat. So don’t try to make me feel guilty when you’re not taking the initiative to do the rational thing. So those are just some of the lovely things that I’ve gotten to deal with virtually every single day since being here. It’s been very defeating emotionally. Am ready for it to be over.

Once again, apologies for the long gap! This time it’s actually not a product of my own laziness but rather a lack of internet. We went on holiday last week so I don’t have access every day and when I’ve walked to the wireless spot for the last 4 days, it’s been off. Thanks largely in part to other human beings turning off the router or electricity going out 5 minutes before I arrive. Thanks, Universe. And then we do finally get it to work, but not on my computer, so I’ve had to be borrowing one from the brothers. But today, it’s finally working so I’m seizing my opportunity! I’m very excited as I’ve been feeling very disconnected and homesick without any communication.

Things have been going well with living at Banda’s place. It was 3 weeks last Saturday and we seem to stay well together. We cook and clean and do dishes together. The pair of us had a terrible cooking day the other day, with Banda first burning beans and then rice and then I turned the dinner pasta into pasta porridge mush. But other than that, we seem to do ok. We had a lovely laundry lesson yesterday and it turns out, I’ve been doing it wrong the whole time! No more bleeding knuckles for me!! So I’m gonna keep practicing on that because it’d be nice not to have to pay someone to do it, plus it’s a bit of a pride issue with the other madames. He loves my fried rice which is awesome since that means I get to eat it all the time! And I’m just getting spoiled with food in general. I never bought meat here because it’s expensive and we get it 3 times a week at school for lunch anyway. But Banda eats all of his meals at home, so he does buy it. So basically I get meat every day, sometimes twice a day! Alyson’s gonna start gaining weight in Africa, the likes of which have only been seen by one Chris Tavares. :)

There has been massive flooding in Karonga lately because we had torrential rain storms for a week straight. Several houses were knocked down and something like 10 people have died as water levels inside were up to the windows and outside of buildings it was above neck-level. The marketplace was closed because it was completely flooded out, so they set up outside of the market. It’s still like that 2 weeks later. Not going to lie, working our way through that crowd was rather panic inducing. Gondwe’s shop has dramatically downsized as one of the walls of their main shop was washed away.

Met a geologist from Paladin the other day as he picked us up and gave us a lift to town. It was fun to hear all about his job and the workings of uranium exploration. Only lasted 5 minutes and yet it was just one of those random meetings that I love about Malawi.

Vitu’s still a little problem. He quickly went from adorable to annoying as he shows up at the house constantly, screams “Mzungu” at the top of his lungs, demands money from us, calls Banda a liar, and tries to break his way into the house. Thank goodness for locks.

We tried to go to Banda’s home village during the first week of holiday, so that he could present me to them. Oh the pressure. Terrifyingly nervous, but it had to happen at some point and I knew in the end I’d end up loving the trip, so I got over the nerves. Got up at 5:30 to prepare for the journey and then got delayed by rains. We intended to walk to town, but with the rains decided for a lift instead. None of the brothers were picking up their phones, nor were the half dozen taxi numbers that we tried. Finally Brother Paul came through and dropped us at the bus depot. Unfortunately I started having back spasms about 30 minutes in and since we were squeezed in so tight – Banda was already halfway off the seat due to lack of space – there’s no chance at shifting to a more comfortable position. I have been having constant back pain for the 4 months of being here – if you remember I messed it up shortly after coming here – but there are no chiropractors here and even if the problem’s more serious, there’s no way in hell I’m letting some untrained doctor poke around; oh and no chance at pain meds because Lord knows, then I’d be a drug addict. Anyway, the pain is always there but it dulls sometimes and then I’ll do something that kicks it up again, like shifting books in the library or hauling buckets of water. It just so happens that I hauled water the day before our trip. And being on the minibus aggravated it even worse with all of the bumps and sitting in a god-awfully-uncomfortable position. Result = back spasms with pain shooting up my spine and down into my legs. So I ended up crying silently because the pain was so excruciating and I knew that I had 7 more hours to travel in that same manner. Banda noticed pretty quickly and insisted we get off at Chilumba – about an hour’s drive. I tried to make him continue on his own because his family was so excited to see him and we’d already canceled once before. But he maintained that he would only go with me. Felt incredibly guilty, but there was simply no way that I could stomach that pain for 7 hours. So we turned around and came home. Tried to get a taxi but the prices were outlandish, so instead settled for the front seat of the minibus. Still uncomfortable, but at least there was space to shift a bit. So next time, we’ll aim for that seat or else a coaster which has established seating so there’s a bit more space. Definitely a disappointing experience. Banda was wonderful of course, trying to assuage my guilt, insisting that I lay in bed for the rest of the day and making sure I eat his prepared meals. And his mother called and said that she wished me a quick recovery and that she “accepts and welcomes” me as her daughter-in-law. Very sweet. And makes my stomach butterflies calm down a bit when I think about going there.

Banda’s birthday was on Saturday and it turned out to be just not our day. Went shopping like usual. It was raining heavily which meant we were soaked 30 seconds into the shopping. I then spent a good hour walking through every inch of the market – three times – in an attempt to find a present for Banda. I even had a backup option, but failed to find either. Eventually gave up and we went home. Where we realized that I had somehow lost the keys. Big mystery because we both saw them in my bag as I was climbing into the car for the last time. Who knows. We’ll probably find them in the brothers’ car a couple of weeks from now. So we ended up sitting on our front porch, wet and starving, waiting for Clifford to come and break us into our house. We did get to enjoy some lovely Snickerdoodles though and watched “Penelope” which Banda calls the “pig-face movie” and simply loves.

This was the major question running through my mind most of Saturday and Sunday. All of my worldly possessions (at least for my current life here in Malawi) fit into less than 3 suitcases when I came here 3 months ago. And yet somehow it took 2 truckloads to get everything into Banda’s house. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

Last week I told Madame Principal of my upcoming move to Banda’s house because – I don’t know why but – things like that are shared here. Personal details are expected to be told to management and if they’re not, well the moment something happens you get a talking to about “why didn’t you share this before?” So I told Madame who promptly told Madame Mwalweni… and everyone else found out lol. Doesn’t bother me, I knew it would happen, but it does make me laugh at how fast news travels here. I feel like even people I’ve never met before know of my living situation now. The awesome thing about Madame Principal telling Madame Mwalweni is that Banda and I were called in for a meeting. Sounds daunting, but it’s actually a lovely sentiment. She was taking me as her daughter and as such she wanted to give Banda her blessing and also ask him to take good care of me and treat me well. And to offer herself as an Auntie with advice if ever we need it. It was all very sweet. I definitely teared up a little bit as she was talking about how I was a daughter of herself and MIRACLE in general and how they love me and want me to be happy.

Of course I failed to really pack beforehand so I spent a couple of frantic days throwing everything into boxes and suitcases. Let me tell you, even packing here seems more arduous. It’s not like you can run down to the store and buy some cardboard boxes or even trashbags. So there hits a point where you’re at a loss as to where to put things. Laundry baskets saved me. As did the box that Laura’s parents sent (thanks!). On top of this, there’s no air conditioning and it’s unbelievably hot in that house whenever you’re not lounging directly in front of the fan. So hot for most of those 2 days of packing and additional day of cleaning that I thought I was going to faint. But I made it. So on Saturday, after a rainy shopping trip in town where we navigated our first joint shopping trip and I got to play with Baby Doreen (yay!), we loaded up the truck and drove across campus to my new home. Thank goodness Banda is the most patient, eternally optimistic, helpful man I’ve ever known because I probably would have collapsed from exhaustion hours before finishing loading the trip. For the first trip, no one was around except for children. But by the second trip, all of the wives on Zimbabwe Line had “casually” gathered to “chat” a.k.a. to watch the happenings. Makes me laugh. Side Note: Zimbabwe Line is that they call the row of 5 teachers’ houses where I now live. It is called that because funding for the project came from a Zimbabwe-based NGO. I think. Former volunteers, correct me if I’m wrong. Spent all day Sunday cleaning the 2 houses – his so that there was clean space to move in – and my old house so that it was good for the brothers. Swept out the whole house – which, by the way, seems way bigger when cleaning it all. Scrubbed out the whole bathroom so it’s now cleaner than it was when we arrived. And I learned how to mop. Sigh. I wasn’t a fan of squeezing out by hand all of that dirty water from the mop. And I don’t really even see the point of mopping. It looked exactly the same afterwards. But I did it. We also burned trash one last time – with Banda burning off his arm hair and me nearly scorching my shins.

Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous about moving in. Had a couple of moments of panic in the car as I was driving across campus. Not about being around him all the time because that I am looking forward to, but more so in terms of household stuff. Since we come from 2 very different cultures, we obviously have different lifestyles/ways of doing things, so I was just nervous about joining those. Plus coming into someone else’s house is always a bit strange. It’s not like we found a new place together and are starting fresh. He already has his own routines and even simple stuff like where he stores things and how he manages water buckets. It seems silly and small but here those things are a huge part of life because they don’t fade into the background thanks to technology and plentiful cupboards like they do in America. Here it’s a real managing task that takes up a good chunk of your time. Where does one wash hands when there is no sink? Which buckets are for dishwashing? Are those inside or outside? Is cooking done inside or outside? Where does he store clean dishes? So it’s a bit strange getting used to the new surroundings, but I’m figuring it out quickly and the nervousness has dissipated. Plus it was simply adorable how excited he was. Like a kid on Christmas morning. So that contagious joy was hard to beat.

I’ll post pictures of the place soon, but for now a bit of a written description. The house is not as big as the last one that I was in, but it’s still way too big for 2 people. There are 3 bedrooms, an outdoor kitchen, and an outdoor shower. So we’re cooking and storing dishes in the kitchen but all of the food and water and refrigerator are in one of the extra bedrooms. I’m definitely stoked about the shower! Namely because the shower at the last place didn’t work, so we had to use a bucket and cup to wash ourselves. You never really feel clean when you can’t use both hands. Always seems to be a layer of soap still on you – which admittedly is far better than a layer of dirt. But anyways, there’s a working shower here – no showerhead though, so it’s like standing under a hose. But to me, bliss. I haven’t felt this clean and refreshed in a long time. The worst thing though is that there is no toilet. Whomp whomp. So I’m using a pit latrine all the time. It’s fine during the day (although a bit of an annoyance to have to walk so far, since I’m one of those 5 year olds who always waits until it’s an outright emergency) but nighttime is another story. Had 2 near-death-from-fright experiences with the not one but TWO bats that live in the pit latrine hole. The second fright was much worse as I was pants-less and thinking that all existing bats had vacated the premises. Wrong. Also had an epic battle with a cockroach the size of your face that took two smashing to kill. But I’m surviving. And getting used to it. Finally using my head lamp. And using the MIRACLE bathroom every morning upon arrival and every afternoon before going home :) There is also no sink which is rather difficult. There’s always a bucket of water around that you can use, but then the question becomes where to pour the water. Because you can’t pour it right out the door or a lake will form. So I’ve placed a handwashing bucket in the shower so it’s easy to access and the drainage problem is solved. Since there is no sink, teeth are brushed in the front yard. I kind of like this though as it gives me a reason to stand outside and stare up at the stars. Another difference is that we wash dishes outside. Must buy a little stool or something because I’m tired of crouching or bending over and it’s only been 2 days. This also means that we don’t do dishes after dinner since it’s dark outside, so dishes are washed in the morning. Must wake up 20 minutes earlier in order to not be late for work. Today I was late :) Oh and there are ants everywhere. You walk away from a plate for 5 minutes and BAM come back to a swarm. I realize all of this sounds a bit awful. It’s really not so bad though, I promise. Just little quarks that take getting used to. And it’s worth it to have electricity and be on campus and to be with the best friend all the time. Vomit.

Meals are different too. I’m a creature of habit that’s for sure, so my meals here before generally consisted of spaghetti, pasta salad, pottage (a bean, potato stew-like mixture), eggs, and rice. To be honest, I had a menu calendar so that I wouldn’t get bean-ed out and would always have food on hand. Man I’m lame. Banda also seems to be a creature of habit for meals but just different ones. Chips (huge French Fries) and eggs are his mainstay. He also makes a lot of rice. And of course nsima. It makes me laugh though because everything either has cooking oil as a major component or is fried in said oil. Chips, the tomato sauce (basically tomatoes, onions, and oil), cabbage salad, even rice has oil in it. And best of all, hard-boiled eggs! That’s right. He fries the eggs after they’ve been hard-boiled. Timing is different too. My mother can attest to the fact that 12:00 = ready for lunch. Dinner between 6 and 7. Always. Even here where things are trickier. But Banda’s more free-spirited :) Lunch at 2, Dinner at 9. Or whenever it happens to come that day. I guess now I understand why he was always late for dinners at Laura’s and my place. Again, I’m getting used to it though.

Got to watch Banda cutting a chicken one night. What’s the right word for that? Paring? Anyways, it’s a real skill that he fortunately learned from his mother. So many different pieces and you have to know where the joints are to slice through, otherwise it all is just a big mess. I was proud of my queasy self for making it through the whole thing. And the benefit is that we get to eat all of that chicken! I feel so spoiled lol eating chicken for 4 or 5 straight days. In my 3 months here with Laura, we bought meat once…and that was only because we were having the boys over for Hamburger Night. So strange to get to have meat more than the 3 school-lunches per week.

I also had the joy of ‘babysitting’ five 4-year-olds on Sunday afternoon. I put it in quotes because really children just roam around here, so my being there was more of an entertainment than supervision. They always hang out at Banda’s place because he lets them watch TV and gives them Sobo (juice) and cookies. Alas he had to leave in the middle of this hanging out and so I was left with them. Normally I would take this as an especially fun experience, but my tiredness from moving and cleaning was pretty intense. And of course the power went out, nixing the music video option. But I managed. Bribed them with bubble gum and snacks, let them play beauty salon with my hair (until she started making knots), watched the boys play soldiers, took pictures, and danced to our own singing. It really was a very fun time! I have decided though that it’d all be much more enjoyable if I could talk to them. They’re at the age where they just chatter on and on – I just wish I could understand their stories because I’m guessing they’re hilarious!

Unfortunately I had a little meltdown re: the children the following day. 2 days in a row with them there for hours. And apparently they were waiting outside our door, just waiting for one of us to come home so they could hang out inside. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I think they’re adorable. And I enjoy playing with them. Buuuuut I am not a fan of working for 8 hours, coming home exhausted, and then walking in the door to 8 children who are listening to music at full-blast and screaming to each other (they don’t talk, they yell. Constantly) and who I cannot communicate with. Not really something I want to do every day, especially when I am looking forward to just coming home and relaxing with Banda for my 2 hour window before I have to start making dinner and doing house stuff. Also, their presence nixes the more practical things that needed to be done. I wanted to take a shower, but I cannot walk through the room in a towel when they’re there. I wanted to bake brownies, but nope, cannot because they will then expect treats every single day they come over. And lord knows a nap is always out because they’re screaming in the next room. Not that I can go into the bedroom while they’re there because 1. They will take food 2. That would be rude of me. and 3. They climb dangerously all over the furniture. Sigh. So I ended up in the room anyway, having a little meltdown. Sorted it all out though and I’m crossing my fingers that there visits will be not so frequent and thus appreciated.

Discovered a lovely Malawian tradition with my move. Whenever a new person joins the housing community, everyone comes individually to welcome that person and tell them to “feel free” and to feel at home, to visit their houses and to play with their kids. Mlotha was the first to come over. Mumba’s already told Banda he’s coming tonight. I guess sometimes in America you get the random neighbor who will come over with baked goods on moving day, but I just love that it’s a normal thing here for everyone to welcome the newbie, even if they’ve known you for over a year. I got a little choked up and didn’t know how to adequately express how grateful I was but Banda said I did just fine. I guess I should have learned by now that most Malawians I know don’t get all sappy and emotional like I tend to, but I always feel the desire to try to express such things…. Because being so far away from home and everyone I grew up with means that stuff like being welcomed or getting good healthcare or being welcomed inside for a meal… those are the things that really count. So maybe when Mumba comes, I’ll be more eloquent.

HUGE success on Sunday night. I made nsima for the first time SUCCESSFULLY! Oh words cannot even say how proud I was of myself. Banda stood by and gave instructions – and yelled “fast fast” when I wasn’t adding flour fast enough – but I did it all! Oh my arm was so tired, especially because I’m not really tall enough for the height of the table. Must get a stool :) And the result was just the way it was supposed to be. Not just “good for a first try” but legitimately good nsima that I would be willing to serve people. Oh so proud. So with some more practice, I’m sure I’ll be a pro in no time! Then maybe I can work on figuring out different densities. It’s based on the amount of flour that you add – some nsima is really solid and you feel stuffed even after one patty, others are lighter so you can eat more patties but aren’t so full. I prefer the latter as does Banda. I’d say mine from last night was middling – not as dense as the stuff Raymond made but more so than MIRACLE’s which I consider the best – so I want to keep working at it. Great excitement though!!

Community reception has been fabulous. To our knowledge, at least, everyone’s been very excited and supportive (minus some open school girls who are crushed that Banda is off the market). We have had some moments already though of people just not understanding that our relationship is different. That it doesn’t function the way that a stereotypical ‘Malawian’ marriage does. That’s it’s a team, not a master and a servant. And that, as such, I am not going to get up at 4 to prepare warm bathwater and cook breakfast and wash dishes and iron his clothes…while he sleeps an extra 2 hours. Yes, I will do my fair share of course, but I’m sorry, he has two working hands, is an adult and can do it himself if he wants hot bath water or a fancy breakfast. One of the madames was questioning me today about whether I’d cooked him breakfast this morning. She simply would not relent even as I told her that he’s not hungry when he first wakes up (and when I’m eating) so he comes home mid-morning while I’m at work and makes something for himself. Foreign concept to her. She just said “oh pachoko pachoko.” Which means “slowly by slowly” so basically implying that I’m just a newbie and that one day I’ll come to realize that it’s my duty to do such things. Umm no. I think she would keel over and die if she realized that we prepare our meals together, diving the work, and that he still washes his own clothes. Thank goodness he is not the typical Malawian man about such things…. Not that I would be with him if he were.

I feel like with all of my moving I’m getting progressively closer to a realistically Malawian lifestyle. To be clear though, I’m still really pampered since I’m still in teachers’ housing in a place where there is electricity and running water. First, volunteer house. Basically Little America in the midst of Malawi. Cooks, huge house, power, water tank, next to no responsibilities at home. Then came the Lalanne House. Definitely more work – doing our own cooking and cleaning and water boiling. Next to no running water, a.k.a. lots of bucket carrying and water storage when it did come. But still had a feeling of luxury and separation. And now I’m at Banda’s. It’s still on campus so it still has water and electricity. Evenings are much calmer – marking exams together and then early to sleep. Talking and sharing stories during dinner instead of watching a movie. That lack of technology banging into my head constantly is actually really nice. But it also feels much more in the midst of everything. Maybe it’s because we’re surrounded by the other teachers and kids now. Or maybe the difference is just in living with a Malawian. There’s just a different rhythm and styles of doing things. Yesterday the power went out while we were cooking dinner, so we switched to the charcoal cookers. Halfway through the power came back so we switched back and killed the charcoal fire. 2 minutes later, the power went again. Rebuild the fire. Now it’s raining so we have to bring the cookers inside the house. Smoke wafting through. Doing everything by candlelight. It was one of those moments where I just thought, “oh Malawi.”

Oh and Suzie’s pregnant. Suzie is one of the brothers’ dogs but she’s ancient. The Matriarch of the whole clan. Cannot believe she is pregnant at her age. But alas she is. And so is Special the little hussy. So I think we’re gonna get a puppy! Whoohooo! The only reason I didn’t before is because I didn’t make nsima at home… yes dogs eat nsima too…. But now we do, so why not! Now the only question is which litter to pick from. I’m leaning towards Suzie because she spawned Special who’s awesome. And while Special is great, her offspring? Meh. Teteza? PJ? I’m not convinced of her breeding skills. So I think it’ll be Suzie if she has any that I ‘connect with.’ Looking forward to that day! I miss having puppies around.

So one of the things about living in Malawi is that there is no curbside trash pick-up. Shocking, I know. So this means that you have to burn your trash. I know, it hurts my heart to release all of those toxins into the air, too, but there is nothing else to be done. I would like to add that this is why the roadsides are often littered with trash. I don’t want to perpetuate some stereotypical image of trash heaps in Africa with fly-covered children picking through them. That’s not the way it is in Malawi. It is, however, totally acceptable to drop any piece of trash you might have onto the ground, since there are no waste bins and no government sanitation system for trash. So yes there is a lot of trash on the ground and there are frequent piles of garbage waiting to be burned. Anyways, our outside kitchen (that we never use) had become our trash station, as we first waited for the necessary paraffin and then for Banda to come over during the daylight. As you might remember, Laura and I attempted to burn trash before and it took forever, used a whole candle, and was fairly ineffective. Banda told us later that people use paraffin to get a good fire going. But we didn’t want to set a forest fire or light ourselves on fire, so we waited for him to assist. This resulted in a huge pile in the outdoor kitchen. I was actually quite embarrassed about it as I opened the door, feeling like a hoarder. But the weekend after Laura left, Banda finally came over to assist. It was fairly terrifying to watch him douse all of the bags in paraffin and then drop them one-by-one onto the roaring bonfire. Especially when one of the bottles would explode with a bomb-like sound. And the fact that he was kicking things back into the fire and touching burning objects. Oh Malawian fingers that feel no heat.

I’ve tried to start teaching myself Chitumbuka again. I have a Peace Corps language book that I’m bringing to work now, so whenever I have free time and I’m feeling inspired, I’ve been memorizing vocabulary words. Because I think that’s really the problem – I just don’t know enough words to follow more than a few conversations. I’ve also realized that I’ll never really get it until I start thinking in Chitumbuka. Back in college when I was doing German, I was really good and actually thought in German half the time. I need to do this for Chitumbuka because it is SUCH a fast language that there’s no way I can hear the word and then translate into English to understand. By that point they’ve said 10 more words and I’m lost. So it needs to be instantaneous. God only knows how many years that would take… so I’m not stressing about it.

The student teachers are gone! Oh how sad I am that I don’t get to see Raymond every day. He was like the brother I never had lol. Seriously. I’m so grateful that they ended up staying with Banda so he basically automatically became our friend. Chaminade had a goodbye party for them so I was happy to attend. And then immediately afterwards, I escorted Raymond to the bus depot, gave him a scandalous hug goodbye and then had to run after the truck as it left me. I’m crossing my fingers that he gets posted in Karonga or else somewhere that I visit frequently so I can see him every now and then.

Cobby and Isaac got expelled from MIRACLE for stealing equipment. Stupid idiots. Although not entirely unexpected in a town where students have notoriously sticky fingers. I will miss seeing them around though.

Hurt my back again moving books. I wish there was a chiropractor in Karonga because I’m pretty sure it’s all still from the original injury. The pain has never really gone away – just abated a bit – and flares up into seriousness again the moment I lift anything heavy for an extended amount of time. It really has been messing up this library cataloging though which is frustrating to feel like I can’t do anything at work.

I figured out how to make Snickerdoodles!! They call for cream of tartar but I doubt that’s even in Malawi, so I found out you could substitute baking powder. I guess they don’t taste exactly like Snickerdoodles but they are pretty darn addicting. I regularly lose count of how many I eat in a day. Fortunately Banda is making a dent in them too so it’s not just me. And the way he says Snickerdoodle with his accent is just too adorable.

I bought a coconut from the market the other day and Banda finally cracked it open with my handy-dandy pocket knife. I was very disappointed. I thought coconut milk was supposed to be sweet?! It was salty. Maybe we let it sit for too long? Does anyone know? But then the next question would be, how on earth do you know when a coconut is ‘ripe’?? I did thoroughly enjoy Banda proposing that maybe the milk would be sweeter from one of the other holes. His rationale? That different mannered babies come from the same stomach, so maybe we’d get sweet milk from the same place that also had sour. :) And then he discovered that the coconut bounces like an out-of-control basketball. Laura, you would have loved it.

When the Hotel & Catering students have their practical lessons, they invite select teachers to eat the outcome. I’d never been invited before, so I was thrilled to join them this week. It was like being back in America! They had cereal with milk (hot milk – new but surprisingly tasty), sausage (!), a huge omelet with vegetables in it, bread and butter (forgot how much I love that), baked beans (from a can – wowee!), chips, and cocoa. Oh it was just lovely. I was very impressed since in the past, food prepared by classes tended to be subpar and we wondered what on earth they were learning in there. But the new teacher really seems to know her stuff and the students are learning a lot! Awesome. And I got a great meal :)

We went to a music concert that Ms. Kim was putting on with her voice and instrumental students. It was strange to hear them singing English songs that they could barely wrap their words around, but they pulled it off and they sounded beautiful. Ms. Kim was just brimming over with pride – as she rightly should be! I also met the other Korean lady who lives in town and works at Lusubilo. I’d only met her husband before but she was wearing a beautiful dress so that gave me a conversational in. Even better, I found out what tailor she used, so I can use my favorite chitenje cloth to get a respectable yet adorable dress made! I’m excited! Also nearly peed my pants from laughter as Beams scared the begeezes out of Banda by pretending to be upset about my moving in with him. More on that in a bit… But yes, good old Beams pulled off the fatherly role and it was fun seeing Banda lost for words for the first time in a year and a half of knowing him.

So as mentioned I’m moving in with Banda this coming weekend. I can’t stay at the Brother’s guest house anymore since they want it open for other guests, so it’s time for me to move out. It’s actually purely a practical move to join Banda. I mean I love the kid and it would definitely have ended up happening eventually, but it wouldn’t have been this soon if we weren’t in Malawi. And by that I mean that the house that I’m building won’t have power for months, maybe years. And I’m not comfortable staying alone in a house off campus that doesn’t have lights. I’m far too jumpy for that. And it just wouldn’t be safe. Hence, him moving in. But it also doesn’t make sense for him to give up his $5/month house that’s on campus and has power. So I’m moving into his house and I’ll rent my new place until power comes. Then when electricity is set, we’ll shift to the new house. I am pretty bummed that it was so stressful and costly to build that house and yet someone else will live there first :( I already love the place and was really looking forward to decorating and making it a home. Stupid power company for being so inefficient. But that day will come. And in the meantime, I’ll hopefully be able to get some rent money to make up for the costs. One of the Malawian benefits of moving in with him is that I will now be unofficially Mrs. Banda. Haha no more creepy teachers hitting on me and asking me invasive personal questions. Yessss. In Malawi, if you live together, you’re married. Regardless of my telling them that an official wedding is not happening for a while. So that’s that.

I’ve unfortunately had some problems with the house lately. Specifically with people charging money for things not done, doing subpar work to skimp and sell the ‘extras’, and even worse, outright stealing materials from our storage house and reselling them. Had a meltdown in Singuini’s office as I expressed all of my frustrations about such a small house costs twice as much as the original budget proposal set out. We’ve also come to realize that the builders have been presenting things as necessary when really they are optional. Alas it’s nearing the end so not much can be done. Having a meeting this afternoon though to address the stolen properties.

Construction-wise, it’s still trucking along. They’re plastering the walls now. It actually looks like something you could live in! The window frames are done and adorable. Doors are being made and are just waiting to be attached. And flooring. Cool beans. I’m just ready for the outflow of money to stop, that’s for sure!

Had a Facebook Chat date with Molly yesterday that was absolutely wonderful! So nice to chat with her and hear about her life. Stayed at MIRACLE until it was pitch black and the mosquitoes were eating me alive. Totally worth it!

Also had a heart-filling afternoon with the teachers’ kids. I was sitting on Banda’s porch, waiting for him to come home so we could go visit the house construction. I hear a bunch of giggling and people running through the forest and thought to myself “oh it must be some students.” But nope, there comes Banda skipping and running along with a trail of my 3 favorite teachers’ kids behind him, Muche, Euclid and Hope. Of course this led to a photo shoot of the boys who were soon joined by two of Clifford’s sons, Owen and Clifford Jr. And then they followed us all the way to the new house, entertaining us and holding our hands along the way. They’ve all gotten so much braver around the mzungu than they were last year! And it was kinda adorable seeing them racing through the house exploring the rooms and then lose interest and go play with the long grasses in the front yard – they play horsie too! Beams met us on the road so we all piled into the car, where the boys danced in the backseat to Beams’ awesome music. Hung out at Banda’s place afterwards with Muche, eating cookies, drinking Sobo and watching music videos. Just one of those lovely afternoons with the kiddoes!

So Dad asked for more background about health care in Malawi, which is good because for me it just seems normal now after taking other volunteers and about a hundred students to the hospital – normal, not acceptable of course. It also helped to get Laura’s input since our late night trip was her first experience. To start off with, when you’re visualizing the hospital, you shouldn’t think of it as you would an American hospital. Laura said it seems like an olden-days insane asylum where they’re going to conduct all kinds of experiments on patients. You walk in and there’s no one there to greet you, so you just kind of wander along without any impediments. The hallways are not lit so it seems very dark and dreary. It’s completely deserted actually. Granted it was night time but I can attest that during the day it’s not too different – no medical personal bustling about, just patients. So you wander through these halls passing a bunch of gates, some locked, some not. There are 3 main wards – male ward, female ward, and the maternity ward. The wards are just huge open rooms with probably anywhere between 50-75 beds for patients. We obviously went to the female ward, which is further split into two sections, tuberculosis ward and general, where everyone else is just thrown together. I’d imagine it’s a miracle if you make it out of there without catching some additional disease. We were particularly worried since there were mosquitoes everywhere that had likely bitten multiple malaria patients. There’s no security at all – like I mentioned before, TB patients were just wandering in and out. It is expected here that someone accompanies you to the hospital and stays with you. So they sleep on the floors next to the bed. Molly has a particular horrid story about being attacked by an army of ants while staying with Matt. There is food at the hospital but it’s considered disgraceful if you have to eat it – your relatives, friends, or coworkers are supposed to bring 3 meals a day to you and stay for awhile to keep you company. I do actually think this is a lovely sentiment. The one good physical thing I can say about the building is that there were mosquito nets for each bed. I was shocked to see that actually. So you walk into the female ward and there’s a desk where the nurses sleep on the counter. You sit on a bench and give your symptoms to the nurse/clinical officer/doctor there. No privacy or confidentiality at all, just telling your tale for all of the other patients to hear. There are a couple of private rooms that the other volunteers got to use in the past, but according to a new sign on the door, it seems to have been reallocated as nurse sleeping quarters. Dad also asked how often Malawians would go to the hospital – for regular care or just emergencies. Considering most of them cannot afford the private clinics unless it is something really serious or their employers pay for it, I’d say they usually go to the hospital for everything. Especially since they seem to assume even the slightest feeling of weakness is malaria, so they’re quick to go for the free medicine. The hospital in Karonga is a District Hospital so it’s supposed to serve the whole area, not just the town. It’s run by the government. Apparently the private and mission hospitals are much better – both in staff and facilities. The teachers here threw a (justified) fit when discovering labor/delivery expenses were not covered under their medical coverage… this means that they can’t afford to go to the private hospital in Mzuzu and would be stuck with the Karonga District Hospital. They were livid. So clearly they do prefer the private ones as well. However, none of them were particularly surprised by the drug addicts story. There tisked but weren’t horrified as were Jim and Robyn. So I take that as an indication that they’re simply used to such horrible treatment. I feel like it would blow there mind to see an American hospital. I’m gonna take Banda to visit Brittany at work when we come home, just to see his reaction. Follow-up on the health care issues: Even a few days after using the medication from Maneno Clinic, I was still sick. So we decided to make another trip to the clinic to see if he had any other options. He didn’t. His advice was to go to Mzuzu to the private hospital there, since they have the proper lab facilities to do tests for anything other than malaria. Awesome. Well, let’s be honest, with my stomach issues there was no way I could sit on a bus for 5+ hours without having any chances of getting off. Instead, I called Jim and Robyn who – wonderful people (and nurses) that they are – came right over. After listening to my description of the severe pains I was feeling, they recommended that I most likely had a kidney stone. Considering that it came on quickly and was the worst pain I’ve ever felt and that it had gone by morning. Plus it’s apparently very common for foreigners who relocate to a tropical environment and never drink enough water. And I never had a fever, so infection/virus was automatically out. Seems like a doctor here would have known that? But anyways, that was the pains and they said the stomach problems were just the body reacting to the trauma. It’s very comforting to know that they are there for me with solid professional knowledge. Had a bit of a relapse a couple of days later as the stomach issues resurfaced. Had a major panic attack complete with uncontrollable sobbing and an inability to breathe. Laura was gone by this point and poor Banda just didn’t know what to do since panic attacks don’t often happen here and if they do, they certainly don’t have a name and explanation. The next day, we became convinced that the reoccurring stomach issues were happening because I was drinking litres of juice – a known diarrhetic – with the hydrating powder instead of water. So I laid off of that and the next day and the following days I’ve been back to my normal self. A little more tired than usual from the whole ordeal, but definitely on the upswing. Laura’s Departure: Sad times. I can’t believe the time went so quickly. In some ways it feels like we’ve been in Malawi forever, but when I think about her time period here, that seems to have gone very quickly. She spent her last day hanging artwork in the library – posters of beautiful urban scenes as well as various paintings. I love it – gives me something to look at other than white walls. I’m going to do her painting project soon, which will also add a great splash of color to the window frames and the bookshelves! We spent our last evening finishing “Out of Africa” and having dinner with the brothers. That was lovely since it was really just us, Beams, and Paul having our own little sub-party, so we got our fill of them. And Alick made a cake! Oh it was wonderful – how I’ve missed their cakes. I drove her to the bus depot the next day (my plans of accompanying to Mzuzu were scratched because of the sickness) and was happy that Banda, Raymond, and Envy all love her enough to come along. I’m glad she got to meet such beautiful people. Anyways, goodbyes and tears were had in the middle of the bus depot and then she was off! It’s strange being the only American on campus now. I do like living alone in terms of household stuff, but there are certainly a couple of hours of loneliness squeezed in between being content upon arriving home from work and when Banda comes over for dinner. I foresee a very clean house as I get antsy from just laying around – I’ve already cleaned my former bedroom (that I vacated after the decaying lizard incident). Football Fun: I finally went to a MIRACLE football game which I’ve been promising to do since coming back but always seem to miss out on thanks to lake days. It was a great time! Settled myself down to watch and thoroughly enjoyed myself even though the boys lost. They were playing against Livingstonia Technical, which is actually where Banda’s younger brother goes to school. And he just happened to be on the football team! What are the odds of that? Lol So I got to meet him which was fun although he was certainly much quieter than Mr. Banda. Domestic Duties: As mentioned, I’ve become a cleaning machine. Also since Laura was our only tall person, of course the universe decided to burn out 2 lightbulbs the day she left. Of course. So short little Banda stacked 2 chairs and a table on top of each other to switch them out. I could see death approaching. Especially when we had to turn off the fuse box and have him tinker with wires that had become unattached. But it was successful! I’m also on a recipe mission… I’m so sick of eating the same things all the time. So I’ve been scouring the internet for simple recipes that I can recreate here. Let me know if you have any suggestions! Keeping in mind that meat and dairy (except for butter and milk) are essentially out. So eggs and beans are the primary protein source. And lots of vegetables. Basically anything rice or potato based that actually tastes like something would be great! Last night I made fried rice for the first time and I’m pretty sure that it will change my life. So much better than plain rice which I get sick of daily. And I made Mom’s potato and ham skillet which was heavenly. I’d eat it every day except for the depressing fact that my spam supply is about to run out. Feel free to send more even though I’m sure the very idea repulses many of you – trust me, I was equally disgusted by the concept until I moved to Africa where meat is too expensive for me to buy! Or if you feel so inclined to send packets of powdered sauces… they must sell those right? I can recreate pasta-roni if I have some good sauces. Pretty sick of the pepper, garlic, salt and beef bouillon mixture that goes on everything here. A rant about gender (in)equality: I very nearly lost it recently during a meeting at MIRACLE. We received updates about multiple girls who had gotten pregnant and who were thus kicked out of school. And it literally made me sick to see every single teacher cackling with laughter over the situations and shaking their heads about the stupid and seductive girls. Even though I think I’m used to the inequalities here, every now and then it just smacks me in the face and it still continues to shock me how there is just no accountability for the men. Not only do the fathers get to stay in school. But even the acts of sex and pregnancy themselves. That it is all the women’s fault. They are temptresses and the men just cannot – and should not have to – help themselves. And that there’s no inkling in anyone that maybe the profound lack of respect for and subjugation of women in this culture could be a foundational problem that is simply unconquerable for most women here. Socially, financially, educationally, emotionally. Everything is all wrapped up together. All under the guise of “respect.” Well I’ll tell you what, that respect should go both ways buddy. But if the man doesn’t want to wear a condom, there’s pretty much nothing to be done other than abstinence which often doesn’t even work here since the man can just take whatever he wants. And if they are financially dependent – as younger girls are SO OFTEN here because students will go stay with relatives for their high school years – then there’s really no way out. One former student was even arrested because she got pregnant, went home and was chased by her family. So she ended up in Lilongwe with friends and decided to get an abortion, which is illegal, so she’s in jail. And the teachers just laughed their heads off and said she got what she deserved because she was stupid enough to get pregnant and that the man was her sister’s husband. Now yes, the fact that it was her brother-in-law upsets me. But in a Malawian context, I’d be willing to bet almost anything that he was the aggressor and that because she was his financial dependent and staying in his home, he felt like he could have whatever he wanted. And that he’s likely sitting pretty in his home as I type this, still being taken care of by his wife and not dealing with any consequences. I thought I was going to burst into tears right on the spot. Where is the compassion and equality in God’s eyes that’s supposedly preached in their churches every weekend?! Oh and the fact that 5 minutes later they were discussing a kid who was skipping school in order to do piece work. Expressly against the rules and grounds for expulsion. And the reason they decided to let him stay was… get this… that he has several children all over the place and he needs to graduate. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Not a single chastisement about his promiscuity. Just taken for normal. Whereas any girl with even one child would be kicked out of school and branded a slut, deserving of ostracization, mockery, and even arrest. It is one of those situations that make me incredibly grateful for being raised in America since the hypocrisy drives me crazy and makes me feel hopeless about true ideological change in this country despite all of their chatter about teaching gender equality in schools. House Update: To end on a more positive note, the house is flying along! Of course I feel like I’m hemorrhaging money and am way over budget. Sigh. Stupid first quote left out basically everything. If I’d have known it’d be this much, I’d never have done it. But I keep telling myself it’s a good investment. So anyways, the roof is on. I was pleased that even with the roof and walls, it’s still very cool in temperature. Cooler than any other house I’d been in on a fairly hot day. Good airflow and the tall ceilings really help. Today they are starting to plaster the walls and then all that is left is pouring the concrete floor and attaching doors and window frames. And then doing the pit latrine and septic tank. Very exciting! It’s just adorable and I love it already. When I went to visit last time, my neighbor came over and gave me a gift – 2 guava tree seedlings. My heart was full.

This next story just had to have its own post because it was so f-ing ridiculous. I woke up the next morning and said to myself “Did that really happen?!” So after coming home from our Lusubilo adventures, I was totally fine. Very happy and in love with Malawi. Around 6:00 pm, I started having some stomach pains, which was strange since I hadn’t eaten more than an egg since lunch time. And the egg was fine. And even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have caused days worth of agony. So I laid down, figuring maybe I just needed to stretch out for a bit. Well I ended up having severe stomach pains that were not only in my lower abdomen but that stretched all the way up to my rib cage and around my back. I literally could not lie down because the pain was too intense. Oh and my hands were going numb, I was nauseous and dizzy, and running to the bathroom at least every hour if not 30 minutes. But of course I’m stubborn. Especially because no one wants to go to the hospital at night here since it’s 10x less efficient than during the day (which is already dismal). So I laid there until about 10, hoping the pain would fade and that I would just pass whatever the problem was. But then Banda came over and I was still in pain, so he forced me into agreeing to go to the hospital. Which I knew all along would happen. I was just waiting for him to come so that we would have a Malawian speaker on our side. Woke Laura up who motherly yelled at me for not telling her the situation 4 hours ago. Drove to the hospital, where I was the only patient waiting to be seen. One would think this would mean good service, yes? No. The first doctor’s first question was “are you sure they’re not just hunger pains?” Yes, dumbass, because I came to the hospital at 10 pm because I’m hungry. How stupid do you think I am that I can’t tell the different between hunger and something seriously wrong?! After I convinced him that I was not hungry, there was no exam or anything, just me telling him the symptoms. Of course he decided that I had malaria. Shocking. So I stumble down to the lab where the guy pricks my finger for the test. By this point – I’m guessing from the walk and from being severely dehydrated – I’m about to pass out on the chair. So I lay down, but of course the pain is worse when I lay, so I was about 5 seconds away from vomiting from the pain and also about to have an accident. Matt would have been proud. Avoided both, thank God. The test came back negative – no surprise to me. But of course the doctor had left by this point. Ummm awesome. So the nurses that were there – who had been SLEEPING the whole time I was telling the doctors my symptoms – decided that they were going to take over. So they wanted me to come back in the morning to see the doctor. No problem, I was fine with that. My one request was that they give me a painkiller strong enough so that the spasms would stop so I could sleep through the night. Reasonable request, no? Well they give me the equivalent of Pepto Bismal and Ibuprofen. Umm no. So I try to explain to them that 1. The pain is not only in my stomach, so the pepto bismal is not going to be effective and 2. I have this strength painkiller at home and I know it won’t work because it doesn’t even cure a simple headache for me, so I clearly need something stronger for this. Thank goodness we had Banda there to help translate because I don’t think even that would have been communicated effectively, not that they took it into consideration or anything. But this is where shit hit the fan. Pardon my language. But it just all went crazy. They started asking if I had already taken any pepto or ibuprofen earlier. And no I hadn’t. Mom, don’t cringe. I had a good reason. Because I knew I’d get forced into going to the hospital anyway. And DUH one of the first things you learn as a child is that you don’t stack medicines on top of each other. I knew that I was going to get stronger painkillers soon so if I had taken ibuprofen I would have had to wait hours before taking the better ones. Why would I take something I know isn’t going to work, just for the sake of it? Sigh. This idea was completely lost on the medical professionals of Malawi. They started yelling at me that well here in Malawi it’s okay to mix drugs and that it was my fault that they couldn’t give me something stronger since I was refusing their medicine. Might I add that they were horribly rude the entire time, snickering amongst themselves, talking in vernacular which they didn’t realize I could understand/Banda would translate for us, and refusing to listen to our logic. So we requested that the doctor come back so that we could talk to someone who was actually qualified. Because seriously, the nurses here have about the training that we receive in First Aid for lifeguarding. And because of the Malawian school system, there’s a complete lack of any critical thinking skills that would allow for a diagnosis other than malaria. So yeah, we wanted a doctor who had the authority to give us something stronger than ibuprofen . We mentioned vicodin or codine, simply because we didn’t know any other drugs that they would have, but were also very clear that even something in the middle of the two would be totally fine, just to hold me until morning. Our request for codine or vicodin was met with a diatribe about how those pills are addictive and that’s fine in America because the doctors give you an antidote for the addiction at the same time… what?! Not only is this untrue and stupid, they failed to listen when I tried to reason with them that I only needed 1 pill for tonight and then in the morning they could refuse to give me more if they were really thinking I was gonna get addicted from one vicodin pill. Oh and to add to the list of incompetence: 1. A bottle exploded in another room. No one moved to clean up the mess. 2. A nurse walked from the lab (a good 3 minute walk) to where we were, carrying used bags of blood and needles, completely exposed. 3. Tuberculosis patients were just wandering in and out of the waiting room, hacking away. So yeah, we weren’t exactly inspired by their professionalism. So I think the doctor request was completely legit. Well oh man they fought that one. But finally said they’d called a doctor. In the interim while we were waiting for him to show up, the nurse also thought it wise and helpful to inform me that had I really been sick they would have given me something strong. EXCUSE ME!?!?! Apparently I didn’t look sick enough to them. I’m sorry my outward expression of pain is not exactly the same as a Malawian’s. I’m sitting here, white-faced and incommunicative, unable to lie down and feeling like I’m ready to vomit because of the pain, and you’re telling me that I’m not really sick?! And that “pain is all perception.” All I could say to that was SERIOUSLY?! Ok, lady, I’ve been to the ER before and the first thing they ask you is to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10. Why? Because, yes, pain is relative. But that doesn’t mean that just because pain is an 8 to the patient and to another it is a 3, that you will only treat it like a 3?! No, you treat for the pain that the person is feeling. Stupid witch. So by this point, I’m so irritated by their incompetence and rudeness that I’m just stunned into silence. But good old Laura has swooped into irate mother bear mode so she kept hounding the nurses until the doctor came. By this point, the nurses have been openly screaming at us and proving that they are not going to be calm and fair, so Laura requested that we be able to see the doctor alone once he arrives so that I can just start over with explaining the symptoms and getting another diagnosis since the malaria one was not accurate. They refused. Confidentiality anyone? So the “doctor” finally arrives. 2 hours into the ordeal. So we sit and listen to the nurses tell their side of the story. Even I knew enough vernacular to understand that they were grossly misrepresenting. And Banda was sitting there shaking his head the whole time. Calm, patient Banda was even getting frustrated. But we sit and let them have their piece. Most laughable was when she said Laura jumped out of her chair, banged her fist on their table, and refused to leave without codine. Ha.Ha. So after they talked, it was our turn. We gave the real story. And then Banda gave his story of events too. And then the “doctor” gave his opinion. We had the same fight about mixing drugs. And then he wouldn’t believe us that I already knew that ibuprofen wouldn’t work in this situation. And then the real kicker. He got up in Laura’s and my face and said loudly point blank: “You are drug addicts.” So my mind was reeling, thinking “Is he joking? Is this really happening?” So I asked if this was a hypothetical to explain why they just can’t hand out codine to anyone who asks… nope. He was actually accusing us of being drug addicts. After meeting us for 3 minutes. And not doing any exam whatsoever. WHAT THE HELL?!?! I have never been so offended. I was already about to lose it from the rudeness of the nurses alone but then to have this guy tell me I’m a drug addict?! No sir. Fortunately, that caused a whole bunch of adrenaline to flood my system so I was shaking with anger but no longer feeling as much pain. Let’s think about this logically. I doubt I would have told you my real name and that I was a teacher at Chaminade if I was trying to score drugs. You know I’ve lived here for 18 months – pretty sure I’d have tried to get some before this moment. And I doubt I would have come at midnight to do it. But no, logical reasoning isn’t big here. So he said that he personally could not give us codine but that he would call in the head of the hospital so we could get his opinion. To which I said, “But you are both doctors, so why is he going to give us a different answer?” because it was clear to me that they were not going to listen or help, so I just wanted to go home, take 3x the normal dose of ibuprofen and pray that it’d work. In response to my question: silence. That seemed suspicious. So I said, “Are you a doctor?” Silence. Repeat. Had to ask the question THREE TIMES before he finally admitted that he was not even a doctor. WHAT THE HELL. So basically they all just lied to us and he pretended that he was a doctor. Oh how I wish we were in America so there could actually be sanctions against him. Tell you what sir, I’m pretty sure it’s not W.H.O. (World Health Organization) procedure to impersonate a doctor and to accuse a patient of drug addiction within 3 minutes, without an exam. Jackass. Oh and when I called him on this, he tried to backtrack and say that he said “are you drug addicts?” instead of accusing us with “you are.” I don’t think so! I thought even Banda was going to yell at that point. So Banda and I were stunned in silence by these new developments. ButLaura was irate. She told him to call that other guy. And then we sat and waited. The nurse for some reason couldn’t keep her mouth shut though and kept shrieking about us and how we were faking. So Laura basically told her to sit down and be quiet because she didn’t want to hear her lies anymore. I was so proud and almost cracked a smile but I didn’t want the nurse to see it and pronounce me miraculously healed. I also had a shining moment in Banda’s eyes too. I’d managed to stay quiet the whole time – 1. Because I felt too terrible to fight and 2. Because it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to make a scene here in Malawi where I am a visitor and unfamiliar with processes. As such, I always try to fade into the background as much as possible. So yes I stayed quiet except that one “Seriously?!” But then the lady decided to say that I was lying – that I had in fact been sleeping on the bench. No f-ing way lady. I wasn’t even lying for more than 1 minute because I had to get up from the pain. So out slipped an “iwe” said with all of the disgust and disrespect that can be packed into the word. “Iwe” really only means “you” but when said with attitude, it hits the right note. Banda is still talking about it with glee, 2 days later. We finally just decide to ignore each other since nothing productive is coming out of this. The nurse goes back to sleep. And the fake doctor takes Banda out into the hall to talk to him. Where Banda apparently guilted the heck out of him, telling him that it wasn’t even our idea to come ask for stronger drugs, but his. And that he was highly offended, as were we – not that they cared about our impressions – by the accusations of drug addiction. So the fake doctor called the higher doctor again, who this time refused to come in, saying that they stood by the protocol to mix medications and that they would not give me anything stronger than ibuprofen. Again, all of this without a single doctor actually examining me and considering an option other than malaria, even after the negative test result. What if my appendix had burst? What if I had liver failure? What if I was having an ectopic pregnancy? What if I had a staph infection from my cut? Obviously this was not the case, thank God, but it’s not like those jackasses would know. So we left. But first they tried to get me to have myself admitted overnight for observation. You know, because watching me suffer in pain for 4 hours wasn’t long enough. I asked if they were going to give me anything stronger than ibuprofen? Nope. See ya. First we asked for their names, though, because I fully intend to write a letter to the administration about their unprofessionalism. Not that anything will come of it, but you know the principal of it. I say nothing will happen, because since this night, I’ve heard many horror stories. 10 years ago, a Chaminade student died of malaria because the nurse just refused to treat him. They let him lay there in a bed without giving him FREE medicine that is readily available.. and by morning he had died. His parents did nothing. I’ve lost count of how many babies have died because of negligence. And also have heard stories about nurses refusing to serve accident patients because their lunch hour is simply more important. And all of this goes unsanctioned. So my little letter will do nothing. But I’m still doing it. But I digress. The nurses refused to tell us their names. Hmm, seems like if they thought they were following protocol and acting professionally, there’d be no reason to withhold their identities. Finally got it out of them though when we said we’d just check the schedule. Went home around 2. Popped 3x the allowed dosage for ibuprofen. Still took another 2 hours of writhing before I was finally so tired that my body gave out and I was able to sleep. Woke up in the morning still in pain. Not as bad but still enough to want a doctor and medicine. And by then I was also severely dehydrated from all of the bathroom trips. And just to see, I took their stupid pepto bismol equivalent. And shocking it also didn’t work. And that was the next morning when it was far less severe. So Laura and Banda loaded me up into the truck and took me to the private clinic in town, Maneno. And sweet lord it was like night and day. He treated me with kindness and respect and was actually concerned about my symptoms and how weak and ashen I was by that point – which was actually better than the night before. He did a thorough exam checking out my abdomen and blood pressure and everything else you’d expect from a doctor. Turns out I have a virus and severe dehydration. Left his office loaded down with antibiotics, muscle relaxers, rehydration packets, and the very painkillers that I’d asked for the night before. And with my dignity intact without the labels of “drug addict” and “liar.” Fortunately he also gave me his personal phone number and urged me to call him the next time I have a late-night emergency. Never again will I set foot in that dump of a hospital. Since that night, Banda’s come up with a new theory about why the “doctors” and nurses were so hostile. Pride. He thinks that they didn’t even have the medication requested. But that to admit that would make their own jobs and professional worth completely invalid. And that they could not bring themselves to do that. Which is ridiculous because if they’d told us that from the very beginning, we’d have said thanks anyway and left peacefully as soon as the malaria test came back negative. Good things that came out of this whole experience: - - The Maneno doctor has my back in the future. - - Laura is an amazing mama bear who will stand up for me even when I cannot. Even when she is sick and feeling crappy herself. - - Banda is a wonderfully calm and supportive man who shushed us when we tried to apologize for making a scene and is still maintaining that it’s his job to take care of me. - - I’ve decided that I will never have my children here. They will be born in the States. I will not endanger them with someone else’s incompetence and negligence. However, multiple teachers are now convinced that this illness is in fact pregnancy. Oh sigh. I’m on the mend. Terrible first day after the meds as by that point I was so dehydrated that I was forced to chug a bunch of water and that nasty-flavored rehydration mix. My mind and body were resisting as it was making me nauseous, but Laura was great, pushing me to keep going. 2nd day, still definitely ill but I can feel an improvement. We’ll see what tomorrow brings!

Wow, I’m sitting here reading my notes and realizing that baking cookies for Beams seemed like forever ago. Has it really been that long? Sorry for the gap. As mentioned in the last post, I broke a luvre and sliced my hand. The resulting pain lasted for a good 6 days, the first 3 of which were so bad that I couldn’t even move my fingers without it throbbing. So of course hair-washing was out. And after a couple of days I was feeling gross. It might have been easier to get Laura to wash it for me, but both of us knew it’d be way more amusing to force Banda into it. So we pulled a chair up to the kitchen sink and after a quick tutorial from Laura, set him free. We were a bit worried that he’d tangle my hair into a big knot since mzungu hair is waayyy different than Malawian hair, but he did a marvelous job! Very gentle and was very meticulous – I kept telling him that he could be done and he kept saying he wanted every piece of hair to enjoy the shampoo. Of course a photoshoot occurred. And we like to think that he had a fun time! Good man that one. Update on the hand: It has now healed. It took about a week to finally close up and for the pain to subside. Cool scar though. And grateful that I avoided infection! Dr. Who in Malawi: Laura and I decided (for some unknown reason) to have a Doomsday photoshoot one night. For you non-Whovians, it’s from a Dr. Who episode where Rose and the Doctor get separated in different universes. But there’s a shared wall that they lean against and can feel each other’s presence. Judge all you like, but it’s a very heart-wrenching moment. I’m not even sure why we came up with the idea since we weren’t even watching Dr. Who at the time, but we positioned a confused Banda on one side and myself on the other. Photoshoot a success. Banda still confused so we made him watch the episode. Bad idea. He remained indifferent and Laura and I ended up depressed lol. Cooking adventures: We made vegetable tacos one night just like the ones Alick and Vicki used to make! Oh Matt, you would have been proud – they were so tasty! Laura also mastered the art of chipati making since my hand was messed up. You Georgetownians are in for a treat with all of the new things she’s learned to make here! Although I don’t know how thrilled ya’ll will be about nsima :) Ash Wednesday: Ash Wednesday was a holiday for us since we’re a Catholic school. We made the most of it since Laura’s time is drawing close to an end. We went to Lusubilo to hang out with the kiddos which was fun as always. We also went to the museum which I’ve wanted to do ever since coming. It is a beautiful space with lots of neat animal remains and interesting information about Malawi’s history and peoples. Definitely a fun time! Laura and I had lunch at the museum and then wandered through the market, buying chitenjes for my house and for her friends. We also got a hold of some of those beads that Madame Mwalweni was talking about (Molly). Successful journey. We also went to check on my house, which turned out to be even more fun than usual as the Gondwe children and their friends accompanied us first to the house and then all the way back to campus, carrying our bags for us. A lovely day all around! House update: The walls are up! Had a moment of difficulty as we realized that one of the windows was on the wrong wall (in terms of a breeze making it inside – vital, especially during the hot season!). But Cosmas was wonderful and agreed to knock down one of the walls in order to fix the mistake. They put the roof beams on yesterday and today they are putting on the iron sheets (roofing material)! So basically the structure of the house is done. Now we just need a plumber and electrician to come in. And then they’ll plaster the walls and pour the concrete for the flooring. And then the house is done! Just remaining with the septic tank and pit latrine to build. So maybe another week or so. Exciting! We finally got to spend time with Ms. Kim, the Korean opera singer who has moved into the former volunteer house. She invited us over for lunch and it was definitely one of the best days here! She made such wonderful food. She knew we were tired of Malawian meals, so she made us European foods. The best pumpkin/butternut squash soup I’ve ever tasted, lemonade, salad with lettuce, another cold vegetable salad with olives, spaghetti, pizza, and banana bread. Oh my goodness, I haven’t tasted food so flavorful in such a long time! It was marvelous. Laura and I just kept eating and eating. Ms. Kim brought all of the non-perishable things with her from Korea. So she basically only buys the vegetables from the market and then she also drives down to Lilongwe once a month to pick up other supplies. Laura and I did have some problems with our table manners, though not from lack of trying. It’s just that, especially with eating lunch at school now, we’re much more adept at eating with our hands than with a fork. Turned to look at Laura at one point and she had strings of spaghetti hanging from her mouth. Now instead of biting them off onto the plate like most people (uncivilized ones of course, myself included) would do, she tried to shove it sheepishly into her mouth with her hand. She failed and thus turned away to try again. It took a good 30 seconds of struggling before she got it, all under the watchful eye of Ms. Kim and my hysterical laughter. Not only was the food amazing, but we had a wonderful time chatting with her. What am amazing lady! She is 66 years old, single, and has decided to come spend her “retirement” in Malawi. She traveled to several different African countries before deciding that Malawi was the one. She randomly met Peter, deputy director of Lusubilo, while visiting some Korean friends in Lilongwe and instantly knew that her calling was to open a music center at Lusubilo. So she’s done that and is teaching lessens to a dozen students – voice, piano, drums, trumpet, violin, guitar. So amazing! She’s also opened 4 new CBCCs (is that what they’re called, former volunteers?) which are community centers in surrounding villages – places where kids can go for recreation, libraries, nutritional supplements, etc. We also loved hearing about her life as an opera singer. She has lived such an interesting life and we loved her perspective of time – she cannot even say what was her favorite place to live because she feels that at each moment in time, that was the best. And when it was no longer right for her, she moved on to the next adventure and happiness. Laura and I were pretty much in awe of her. We hope we can say such things when we were older. We also were treated to her playing the piano, watching videos of her son’s orchestra and her singing, as well as albums of her in all of her opera costumes. Such an amazing day! Ms. Kim invited us to come visit the music school the next day to check it out and listen to her students rehearse for an upcoming Easter concert. It was great to see the building and all of the instruments and see Ms. Kim coaching the kids. It’s pretty apparent that virtually everyone loves her! After the rehearsal we headed over to Lusubilo because it was Peter’s birthday, so Ms. Kim wanted the kids to sing for him. We ended up getting invited to his work birthday party. Haha I love how often things like that happen in Malawi. When we went to town we had no idea that would be a part of our day and yet it turned out to be the best part! Had a fun time chatting with people, dancing, and holding little Agnes (one of the babies). Our cheeks hurt from smiling so much! Sad news: Laura is going home early because she can feel herself getting sick again and none of us want her to ruin the next year for the sake of a few weeks. So she’s leaving in 2 days. I’m still in denial. As is she. Don’t really want to think about her not being here!

So I decided to split the house album from the general Malawi album because it was all just getting out of control. I'll still be updating both though so check back often!

Here are the links:

General Malawi Album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2030791&id=61900829&l=744ff8b211

House Album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031924&id=61900829&l=cc2e7024dd

Buying supplies for the house: We went into the town one day to buy supplies for the house. Really it turned into Laura and I just handing over money to the wonderful Cosmas and him going to get this. Purely a practical move – he knows what he needs and a white face just makes prices soar in most circumstances. So this meant Laura and I had plenty of time to explore, picking up extra groceries and making friends. Our favorite new baby to play with is Doreen, the daughter of a man selling lumber. We wandered into his stall in an attempt to avoid the sun, so he laid down a mat for us and we perched ourselves on the timber. Of course the baby was in my lap within moments and we spent a good long while playing with her. And then when we went back a few days later, we somehow ended up there again. Shocking! She’s just adorable and such a happy, contented baby. I was able to make myself entirely too useful at one point – While driving the truck, I cut a corner too short and ended up with one wheel suspended in thin air in a ditch. Awesome. Of course this meant there was nothing to catch traction on, so the guys had to get out and lift the truck and shift it onto the pavement. Driver extraordinaire! Exciting shopping moment: There was a 50 kwacha discount on spaghetti! (Roughly 20 cents) Of course this meant that we stocked up, buying 5 packages. :) House construction update: Very upsetting moment when Cosmas and Singuini told me I couldn’t come to the land/house regularly anymore. I must explain that they’re coming from a place of love and helpfulness on this. And I want to respect their requests because they’re the ones having to deal with the obnoxious people who are trying to gauge me out of money simply because I’m a foreigner. But it still hurts me and upsets me that these people are going to be my neighbors and yet they’re still trying to suck as much out of me as possible. Particularly laughable since I am very likely the poorest mzungu they will ever meet. I make less than half of what even the government teachers here make! But of course they fail to consider that possibility. Anyways, I was barred from the land and Mr. Singuini so graciously picked up the task of walking there daily to get a progress report and let me know how things are going. So kind of him. Still upset though. And Banda was utterly outraged, which I appreciated more than he’ll probably know. He was all set to march down there, camera in hand to take pictures, ready to give them a piece of his mind. But fortunately they’re letting me come every few days – just only for big events now. So I got to come when the foundation was finished and then when the walls started to go up. So I’m contented with that I suppose. As long as I don’t think too long about the reasons behind it. More positive update: Like I mentioned, the foundation is poured and the walls are starting to go up. The back wall is half done and they’re put up the front door frame. It’s just bewildering how fast they go! I’m used to American standard where it takes months or even years to complete a house! Granted the whole house is about the size of my parents’ living room, but I still think it’s impressive. When we went to see the foundation for the first time, Laura and I freaked out a little bit. Well moreso me probably. Pretty sure it was written all over my face. It was just so tiny that we weren’t sure a double bed would even fit in the bedroom, much less a set of drawers! But then we stood over it and it looked better from that angle. And when we went the next day when they had the foundations laid for where the walls will be, it looked even better. Still tiny but livable which is all I’m going for really. Football news: Chelsea beat Manchester United!! Big deal since Man U. is having a great season and Chelsea’s has basically imploded. Alas I did not get to watch because the staff room’s tv signal was out. Worst day of the month: Pretty sure. I don’t know, maybe I should go back and read my old posts to verify, but I don’t really want to remember those days anyway. All I know is that this day was terrible. It started out with such potential too. As a member of the Chaminade planning committee, I was on the food subcommittee, so our first task was going into town to buy all of the groceries for the day’s 600 guests. This actually sounded like fun to me because it was going to be with Mbale and Kaunda, two of my favorite people and I always love a good market day. Except for that I forgot the level of indecision and inefficiency that often pervades activities here in Malawi. Somehow I ended up being in charge of all the money. Awesome. So I got to work and of course none of the money was ready. Spent 2 hours running back and forth between both schools, trying to wrangle checks out of people and having the right people sign things. All things that should have been done beforehand by…say.. the financial person for the schools?! But whatever, I finally made it all happen and we were on our way to town. Had to go to the bank to cash the checks, so I suggested that the other teachers take the cash that we did have and start buying things. I mean they’re grown men. I’m 23 years old, cannot speak the language, and still have a very limited understanding of how market bargaining should work. Seems logical that they go for it and start on things while I go to the bank. But for some reason that suggestion only earned me a look that said I was clearly insane. What, divide and conquer?! What an insane idea. We should all stay together in a little group, discussing every minute detail multiple times, taking 5 HOURS to complete a shopping trip that Laura and I alone could have done in 2. I love both of them dearly and I kept reminding myself to breath and not get frustrated but by the end of the day I was just about ready to rip my hair out. I’m gonna keep that in mind next year and refuse to be on the committee like all of the other MIRACLE teachers did this year. No more getting thrown under the bus for me. Holiday fun: Fortunately we had a holiday the following day! It was very nice to just hang out and relax after that chaotic day. Got to go see the house construction and then we stopped at Gondwe’s on the way home for a mineral. Laura and I had a great time forcing Banda into a photo shoot and taking video confessionals of him. We were going to also go to a concert that night at Planet K.A. which I was stoked for since the last concert was a blast… but alas it was pouring rain, so we failed. Chaminade Day: The actual morning of Chaminade Day unfortunately started out just as chaotically as the shopping trip had been. Out of the 6 committee members… I was the only one there that morning. 2 had gone out of town for the whole day. 2 were MIA. And Kaunda was late. It’s a good thing he showed up eventually though because I was woefully ill-equipped to deal with the fact that the firewood guy never came or to force the assigned women to cook when they were refusing to do so. I decided that since the women were refusing, I would suck it up and go to the kitchen myself. So even though I don’t know how to make most of the things they were preparing, I joined the Hotel & Catering students who were doing the bulk of the work. Not gonna lie, I was thrilled when the ladies acquiesced somewhat and agreed to help supervise. I ended up having a BLAST though! Laura and I started out cautiously, learning how to chop cabbage and new ways to dice tomatoes and onions. Spent hours doing all of that prep stuff, loving the opportunity to hang out with the madames and the students. It was truly lovely to be a part of that sub-community on campus. I also got to learn how to make hot cabbage – one of my all-time favorite meals! I was a bit nervous because I was preparing it for 70 people in one huge pot and I was terrified that I’d ruin it. But Cathy supervised me and I managed it all despite having aching arms from stirring such a large quantity. So proud of myself!! And apparently the other teachers were very impressed, ticking off the Malawian woman’s qualifications box of being able to help the other madames cook for large parties. I do believe I will volunteer myself for the job next year too! I had way more fun talking with the women and preparing food than sitting through some boring speeches. A great morning and a well-needed reminder of why I love Malawi. Side note: Laura and I have been talking a lot about this lately. With all of the frustrations, it seems easy to get down in the dumps. But Malawi never lets you stay upset with it for long. It always finds a way to woo you back into loving it. Be it a great conversation or an adorable kid or a learning moment or a random visitor. There’s always some wonderful moment just waiting to pop up. More Chaminade Day: After lunch was ready, I was free as a bird! Thoroughly enjoyed eating lunch in the courtyard with Banda and Kalua. Cabbage was a smashing success and we were treated to an obscene amount of beef and even chicken! Met Mrs. Kim, the opera singer from Korea who has occupied the former volunteer house. Lovely lady and she even invited us to lunch next weekend (though we are having to reschedule). Was a bit disappointed because the teachers’ football game was canceled due to time restraints. I was really looking forward to watching the old teachers run around. But the students’ game was fun to watch although it unfortunately ended in disarray as a fight with the referee broke out. Disappointing to see students acting that way. But the sitting and watching was fun. We were with Beams which is always a blast and Vitu came to hang out with us too, spending the whole time lounging on our laps. Except for when he abandoned me to go sit with Banda. Although mine was the lap he fell asleep on lol so I was in charge of carting him home. Carried him all the way home, his dead weight like a sack of potatoes, but my stubbornness won out of course. Little blessings: Oh how I sit here giggling to myself about the pun. Because Vitu is short for Vitumbiko which in English means Blessings. So anyways, we were met with one of those Malawian blessings early one morning as Vitu and his relative Monica arrived at our doorstep lugging a basket of maize. Vitu so adorable as he tottered along trying to lift the basket that was probably half his weight. I didn’t want to assume it was a gift and I didn’t want to offend by trying to pay. But unfortunately I only know the word for gift, not “to buy.” So I pulled out my Peace Corps Volunteer Chitumbuka workbook and found the translation. Loved the flash of excitement that lit up Monica’s face when we both realized it was a gift. We didn’t have much in our house by way of return gifts, so Laura gave up one of her chitenjes for Vitu’s mum and I filled a bag of candy for the kiddos. Hopefully my broken Chitumbuka was enough to convey how grateful we were to their family and how much it made our hearts swell. Minor medical emergency: In the midst of an African thunderstorm with booming thunder and torrential downpour, I attempted to close the windows in my bedroom. They’re not like American windows but are luvres. So basically rectangular pieces of glass that are moved by a lever. But sometimes they get stuck. So I was pushing on one of them in addition to pushing the lever. Bam. Glass broken and my hand gushing blood. Everywhere. So I go running into the bathroom and stick my hand under the faucet. Thank God we had running water that afternoon. Laura said I freaked out… AKA I got really quiet and closed my eyes. She was great – called Jim right way – he’s a nurse – and gave me a new white shirt to use to apply pressure. He came over a few minutes later (despite the pouring rain – love him!) and checked it out. Fortunately it’d clotted by that point so we could see it wasn’t too deep. No stitches required and he put on some iodine and Neosporin and a bandaid and pronounced me fine. I’ve just gotta keep it clean and dry and it should heal up in 4 days or so. Hurts like the dickens whenever I stretch the skin too much, but I’m grateful that it was less serious than we originally worried. Rather terrifying moment as I laid down to take a nap and the blood pressure of failing to keep my hand in the air resulted in the wound reopening and blood gushing everywhere again. Oh and when I went out to greet Cosmas and in the span it took to walk around the house, I began dripping blood again. Fantastic. Fortunately I made it through the night without any more mishaps though. Whew! Vegetable taco masterpiece: Laura was a dear and ended up cooking dinner for us that night. Mastered the art of chipate making and we figured out how to boil maize and make the wonderful vegetable tacos that Alick and Vicki always made for us. Fabulous dinner – one that will be repeated many times I’m sure! Thanks Universe: I should’ve known that the Universe would never send me a right-handed boy to love. Spent a year and a half thinking Banda was right-handed. His one flaw lol. But seriously, on my list of goofy things that I’d love to have in a boyfriend, left-handedness is right up there :) Along with twin-hood and red-headedness. But some things have to be abandoned right? Anyways, I was struggling to wash dishes left-handed in an attempt to avoid further bleeding and he was amused because apparently he’s a pro at using his left-hand. So after some follow-up questions from me, I discover that he is in fact one of those Malawians who were forced as a child into right-handedness! As a kid, he always tried to eat and write with his left hand but his mother forced him to change. So now he only writes and eats with his right and does everything else with his left. What are the odds of that?! I knew the Universe was lookin’ out for me lol.

Soko, the electrical instructor who had left, thereby cancelling the 3rd year electrical class for Georgina and Cobby and company, returned so the great news is that they’re having the class! Glad that the students have something to do now that is helpful for their trade rather than just staying unemployed like they had been. Hopefully good things will continue to happen for them in the future! Land Update: IT’S OFFICIAL!! I bought the land! Not the chief’s land that was having all of the conflicts, but the second plot that I wrote about in the last blog. With the wonderful help of Mr. Singuini and Cosmas, I got a great deal cost-wise and they were able to communicate my wishes and needs to the owner. I don’t think they will ever understand how grateful I am for their help throughout this whole process… I think we would have been lost and at times unwittingly offensive as we stumbled our way blindly through the negotiations, setting border boundaries, paying process, getting appropriate witnesses, drafting a contract, paying the chief’s advisors, etc. They’ve been a god-send, truly! So anyways, I have a beautiful signed contract stating the land is mine and the chief okayed the whole deal. Cosmas was totally on top of things – signed the contract in the morning and by the end of the day, he’d already had people clear all of the grass and bushes. So the next day we were able to walk through with him and show him where I want the house and which direction it should be pointing, etc. Fabulous! I cannot believe that in just 2-3 weeks, the house will be finished! Granted, water will take a while longer and electricity will take months if not years. Mr. Singuini has suggested I get solar panels in the meantime, so we’ll see about that. And within the next day, they were already finished digging for the foundation. Am walking there every day to check on the progress and it’s really fun to see all of the changes! Celebrated the land purchase with some cold Cherry Plums at Gondwe’s shop. So excited! And will be posting pictures of each day’s progress so ya’ll can see how it’s going. Had a fabulous evening on Friday. To celebrate the land, we wanted to go out to dinner in town – plus our fridge was empty :). So we headed over to the Brothers’ house to ask if we could use a truck. Ended up sitting with Beams for a good hour, just talking with him about life and most interestingly about his decision to become a Brother and how he feels about the experience. I am always fascinated by the psychology of such a decision and the outcome because I could never do it. So I like hearing different perspectives and have certainly heard very different answers from vowed religious here. Anyways, it was just a lovely time as he gave us drinks and we just lounged at the table with nowhere to go and lots of time to enjoy each other’s company. Made me appreciate and love him even more than I already did! We’re definitely going to just show up at their house randomly more often. We also learned how to make chipati – Alick style – and got to taste test. Aaaaand Beams gave us a toaster!! So excited about that. Toast is infinitely more satisfying than bread. We did eventually break up the party as Beams had things to do. And we also got the truck, so we picked up Banda (sans Raymond since he had already left for the midterm holiday – MIRACLE alas has no such holiday so I’m still hard at work – miss that kid!). Headed to Beach Chamber because Laura was lusting after their vegetable curry. It was actually freezing outside so we ended up moving into their little restaurant area because they refused to give us blankets (it’s a hotel and a restaurant). Frightening moment when we realized the girl failed to understand that the curry came with rice… much too spicy to eat alone! But my beautiful MIRACLE attachment students, Wakisa and Kitty, came through for us and found some already cooked rice for us! Whew! A fun night all around. Oh we also saw an older couple who were camping in their tent… ON TOP OF THEIR CAR! Wow, what an awesome way to travel. It has its platform that half-way hangs off, so it must be custom made. How cool is that? They even had a ladder leading up. I’ve decided that’s the way to do it. Away from snakes and animals and you don’t have to pay a bazillion kwacha for lodging. Banda and Ganizani came over for dinner one night because Banda has probably the most awesome movie collection ever so we wanted to watch it. For clarification, they sell “collections” here in town that have like 10 movies per disc. Sometimes there’s a theme – this one is love movies, we’ve also seen “Sex of the Animals” (by the way, former volunteers, I saw another copy the other day so it must be a big seller) and they have a bunch of Nigerian and action collections, along with ones for actors like Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, etc. They’re a little over $2.50. Awesome. Especially when they have new American movies that we miss out on since we’re over here where there are no theaters. So anyways, he has a collection with love stories – Titanic, Ghost, Pretty Woman, The Lake House, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Meet Joe Black, etc… and Beyond Borders. Now, Laura has been talking about Beyond Borders for weeks and I’ve never seen it so we were thrilled that Banda had it. Bribed them into letting us watch it with pasta salad and eternal gratitude. Pretty depressing movie, by the way. Laura was curious as to why I wasn’t crying. Because I felt too empty and shell-shocked, that’s why. Had our usual cooking day on Sunday. Beans, Rice, Pottage, Tortillas, and Banana Bread. Very successful and I enjoy the rhythm of puttering around from task to task. Watched “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and “The Bodyguard,” which, by the way, worst ending ever. Laura and I were utterly outraged. He doesn’t die AND he doesn’t get on the plane? Psh. On Sunday night we had a little fiesta! We had bought wine and Sprite in town the day before so could make spritzers and oh it was a fun time! Started at approximately 5:15 and the wine was gone by 6, but Banda our hero biked to the airport to return with a backpack of Greens (beer). Kalua surprised us all by coming over, which just made the night even more fun as he was in a chatty mood so we had fabulous conversations and Laura was finally able to see why I love the kid so much! Ended up talking about a lot of serious issues too – homosexuality, belief in God, the purpose of religion, sexual experimentation in boarding schools. As usual, we were impressed by their openness and progressive beliefs, many of which would be considered liberal in the States, so borderline crazy here in Malawi. And of course there was dancing. Haven’t danced in a long time, so it was a great way to end the evening.

Highlights: - Mumba’s goodbye party. Really, not a highlight, more like a huge bummer. I’ve always thought of Mumba as a Malawian uncle and have much love for the man. He was the first person to make an effort to pull me out of my shell. He never failed to bravely try to make conversation on our Saturday trips into town and for that I’ll always adore him. Plus he just cracks me up. So I’m pretty sad that he’s being transferred to another school – in Livingstonia actually. So at least I’ll get to see him every now and then since I love going on vacation there, but it just won’t be the same without him at Chaminade. - Laura scared the bee-gee-ses out of the Brothers one night. She’d had enough of George (a huge lizard that occupies our house. There are many of them, but Laura has decided George has grown up enough that it’s time to leave the nest. Plus she’s convinced he’s taunting her). So anyways, one night she snapped and started swinging at him with a broom, trying to herd him out the door. Screaming at the top of her lungs throughout, of course. After a couple of minutes of this she finally gave up (a.k.a. he outran her to a hiding spot). 30 seconds later, Bro. Beams calls to check on us. Apparently he was halfway to our house when the screaming stopped, so he turned back. We tried to explain to him that, in the future, that should be a sign to hurry, since clearly the attackers have succeeded in subduing us into silence. But anyways, thought it was cute that he called to make sure we weren’t being robbed or beaten or something. - Thought I was officially a landowner for 24 hours. Great excitement. - And then I went to work the next day. And one of my fellow teachers told me that there have been disputes about the land for the last year. That it’s really Nyopyo’s land (a cook at MIRACLE) but that the chief took it from her and claimed it as his own. Of course, he failed to mention this to me and just tried to make a buck before anyone realized. This absolutely is not ok with me. So we had some meetings with Nyopyo and the Chief and basically he just told her that it’s his and there’s nothing she can do about it. And then tried to convince me that it was just fine, no problem. He wouldn’t listen when I told him to me it was definitely not fine. There’s no way I’m stealing land from this lady. I’m sure he’ll get away with it and sell it to someone else, but I refuse to be a part of it. I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life. So we’re back to square one, looking for land that is conflict-free and legit. OI. - Laura and Banda and I took a weekend trip to Hara where a former volunteer has built a lodge. It was way quieter than say a trip to Nkhata Bay, but my old-lady-self liked that. I’d rather sleep in late, swim, drink endless amounts of tea, and relax in a hammock all day than run around anyway. So it suits me. Raymond was supposed to come with us too but he failed at the last moment. Disappointed about that. But it was fun having Banda along for the first time. Also had a great time chatting with Frank who I’ve missed dearly (he is working as the bartender/everything man at the lodge) as well as the 3 MIRACLE students who are there on attachment. A lovely weekend. - Not so lovely? Returning home, walking into my room, and realizing something had died there in my absence. Not.Even.Joking. Oh man the stench was unbelievable. And terrifying because we’re still living out of suitcases, so all of my things are on the floor – terrified that it crawled into my clothes and died. THANK GOODNESS it did not. I found the decaying lizard behind the door, remarkably decomposed for 2 days, full of fat maggots. Makes me retch just thinking about it. Will definitely have nightmares about them being all over me. So amidst the dry-heaving of Laura and myself, we managed to get it into a Twizzler’s bag and out into our compost heap. Really did think both of us were going to vomit a couple of times. Alas, dropped some maggots while running through the house, so while we are confident that we got all of them… there will always be some paranoia. Definitely the most disgusting thing I’ve experienced in my year and some months here. - After that awful experience, I’ve switched rooms because of the smell. I’m actually happy about it because my new room is about half the size. My bed is walled in on 3 sides, so I feel very safe. I know I’m strange. But anyways, Banda was great about hauling everything across the house and we all had a good laugh as we tried to squeeze the bed frame through that poorly angled house. - Jim and Robyn showed up shortly after all of this craziness, which just made our day! They always make us smile. They were on a walk and just wanted to check in on us and bring us some wonderful ginger cookies. Such sweet people! - The new Bishop came to visit Chaminade on Monday, so I got to go to mass during the school day. He seems to be a pretty funny guy – at least he amused the students throughout his homily. Had a heart-filling moment when Beams was up on the altar, playing his guitar and singing the responsorial psalm. So much love for that Brother! - Land 2.0: Went to look at a plot of land with Cosmas (my builder, once this whole thing gets going). It’s just at the bottom of the hill to Chaminade so it’s nice and close, about a 10 minute leisurely walk. It’s a pretty enough area – lots of trees – kind of in between the first plot and the chief’s plot, aesthetically speaking. And it’s near power so that’s good – even closer than the last plot. And it’s at the bottom of the hill, so water should come more regularly than it does on campus (or at the chief’s land). Thanks to Cosmas, the price should be okay. He’s going back to talk to the owner again this morning to finalize the cost. And then we just have to come with money and have witnesses there to verify that it is his land and now it’s mine, etc. So exciting that this is finally coming together!

Sorry for the gap – nothing truly exciting has happened. Just a lot of work and hanging out with friends.

So I thought I’d take a different approach to today’s blog – not so much activities, but instead things that I’ve learned over the past couple of weeks (sorry for the cheesy undertones lol).

1. If I ignore the fear that I look like an idiot, I am in fact able to complete some tasks like a Malawian woman. We had a huge market day one weekend which culminated in my carrying a ridiculously heavy sack of maize (corn) on my head through the market. I always used to shy away from doing this because I just feel like a huge poser and a bozo to boot but it really is so much easier than carrying it in your arms. Especially because this bag was so heavy I never would have been able to lift it, much less walk across town. So Banda hefted it up onto my head and I tottered off, to the screams of “Ndalama mama!” Because that’s right, I was so caught up in balancing that I forgot to pay for the maize. Whoops. Sorted that out and then made my way to the truck, ignoring the cat calls and focusing on my sense of accomplishment when Banda told me I’d been “Malawianized.” Also washed some laundry by hand (we usually hire Madame Secretary to do this painful task) and I have been doing an inordinate amount of cooking lately. But it’s all fine since it makes me proud of my self-sufficiency. I may be slow and weak in comparison but I’m not nearly as inept as most Malawians assume. I get it done. I may have sore shoulders and bleeding knuckles but I do it. And that feeling of success definitely balances out the extra effort and hours of work that would have been done in minutes in America.

2. Sometimes it’s just nice to go out with fellow Westerners. Now I love my Malawian family, don’t get me wrong. I’d happily spend hours at a time with them. A lot of foreigners who I’ve met here have complained that the level of conversation with Malawians is generally lacking . But I don’t agree – I’ve had more gems pop up with them than I ever had with fellow foreigners here. Maybe I’m just weird and consider different things to be interesting. And sure, it doesn’t happen every time but when it does, oh how wonderful it is. But it was still lovely to share dinner with Jim and Robyn (our American and Australian uncle and auntie here – they’re great about looking out for us!) and their friend Duncan, who is a Canadian (our age) who is working as a water engineer here. They took us to Beach Chamber, my first time there since it’s very expensive. Had great chicken and rice – pretty sure I ate half a chicken – and enjoyed the beautiful view combined with interesting conversations about topics that took me back to America.

3. Building a house makes me tired… and we haven’t even started yet! Trying to figure out all of the land stuff and finding builders and making a budget and creating floor plans…. Oi. Hours of decision making. Makes me tired. But it’s coming together and I’m trying to tell myself “one step at a time.” And that if it goes a bit over budget, it’s not the end of the world, because way over budget here is a few hundred dollars which wouldn’t be catastrophic. To update though I’m going to buy the chief’s land. It did turn out to be more expensive than I wanted to spend, but since it’s right next to the school, it’s going to win out.

4. There’s nothing more beautiful than a child’s sheer joy. I was squeezed in the back of a pickup truck, folded up on the floor with Banda’s knees in my face, worrying that Muwona, the 4-year old perched on his lap, would either kick me in the mouth or shower me with the tray of eggs that she was clutching. Not the most pleasant of rides but somehow I was still enjoying myself. Especially when I turned to my left and saw Muche, Muwona’s twin. Now, I don’t think small children get to go into town very often. I imagine it’s kinda a big adventure. Especially when they come out of the deal with lollipops and a new haircut. On the drive home, I turned around and there was Muche sitting next to me, face flush to the wind, eyes barely squinted open from how fast the truck was going, with a huge goofy-looking grin on his face. True bliss. Especially as a giggle escaped every so often. He was loving it. And meanwhile I (and all of the other adults) had been ducking my head in an attempt to avoid the whipping wind. Made me belly laugh and then tear up from the beauty of it seeing such joy.

5. I’m pretty over living alone. Laura went to Nkhata Bay for a vacation but I couldn’t go because of work. Plus I spent way too much money there last time so I just can’t afford it. So I was staying here all alone for 5 days…. Something that I was actually excited for since I loved having my own place during college and have missed it since. But on Friday after work I realized that I just didn’t want to go home to an empty house. Maybe it was because I was angry (felt justifiably wronged at work) and knew that anger could quickly turn to being upset and crying… but I also kind of think I just wanted some interaction. So I traipsed around campus, failing to find the usual boys. So I perched out on the boys’ porch until they came home, talked to people for a few minutes and then was totally fine to go home alone. And I’ve been fine all of the other days – just always a touch bored and lonely. Especially when the power goes out so I can’t watch a movie or cook. So that will be interesting once Laura goes back to Texas – I think I’ll have to get into a routine of going to sit around at Chaminade for awhile to have some social time before heading home to my empty house.

6. I am indeed afraid of the dark. I always suspected this. A recent night proved it. The power went out for several hours so my computer eventually died too, leaving me with a candle in the middle of a huge empty house. Would’ve been fine with Laura there but alone, no ma’am. Even a dead-bolted door didn’t make me feel any better. Which is weird because I’ve never felt threatened here in Karonga. Ever. I feel safer here than in Texas. But the dark changes all of that. Too many creepy noises and possibilities.

7. How much it frustrates me that most Malawians are so passive. One of the most common phrases on hears here is “oh it’s part of life.” Basically, “it happens, move on.” Now sometimes this is comforting in its reminder that there’s no point in whining about the little stuff. But sometimes it’s just entirely unsettling. Case and point: Your newborn baby dies? It’s part of life. Someone steals your family’s land? She’ll accept it and hold no grudge. Your pay gets slashed without reason? It happens; you can’t challenge management. Yes, some things cannot be changed. Like the first instance. But the others – and most of the things here that get that blasé response – can and should be challenged. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thought “Damn it, stand up for yourself. Stop letting people walk all over you. This passiveness is part of the problem!”

8. I do think the universe watches out for us. Water only comes to our house about once a week for roughly 3 hours, usually in the middle of the night. So this means that in the interim we survive on basins and buckets of water. We have a huge one in particular that we fill and use for everything from drinking to washing clothes to bathing to flushing the toilet. We’re pretty comfortable until that water gets to about 6 inches deep and there’s no sign of coming water. Start to get a little antsy and begin dreading the day when we have to lug buckets of water across campus, stop showering, and use the pit latrine. And yet it always seems like water comes just in time. I was thinking that at work yesterday because we were at the bottom of our barrel again, but I also said to myself “oh don’t be silly. It’s just a lucky coincidence.” And then I got home. And after a week-long absence, the water had started coming an hour before. Thank you, Universe.

9. How to make tortillas. And hot chocolate. I’ve been on a bit of a cooking spree lately. Becoming more experimental as we’re growing weary of the same meals all the time. Well kind of – I’m still willing to eat spaghetti every other day, just as Laura is willing to eat pottage (a kind of bean stew with potatoes) for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But anyways, I wanted to make quesadillas one night – and tacos and egg rolls and samosas eventually – so I needed to figure out how to make tortillas. Thank you Google. Found a recipe and it was a smashing success. They’re a bit firmer than grocery store tortillas but they taste good and look legit. So proud of myself. Also, figured out how to make hot chocolate starting from cocoa. Will probably go into diabetic shock one day from the amount of sugar I add to it, but such is life. It’s been cold here lately so it’s nice to curl up on the couch with a blanket and some hot chocolate – a dream to be remembered in a couple of months when it’s 120 degrees!

10. It really just sucks to be an outsider sometimes. I had a handful of sad moments last year when realizing that regardless of how long I stay here, I’ll always be an outsider looking in. But they were always just moments of “hmm that’s a shame” – never really enough to break me down because they were always in light of something beautiful about Malawi (like the women’s communities here). But this week I had a huge moment of “I will never belong here no matter how hard I try.” We had a meeting negotiating a salary change (important for me to know what’s going on!!) and despite my asking several times that they use English (which they are all fluent in and fully capable of using), they kept ignoring me and switching to vernacular. The only times they would use English is when they were telling me to do something for them. Or when deciding that I wasn’t part of the community as they created a schedule for the women on campus to go visit an injured teacher’s wife in the hospital. All along with a dismissive attitude of my being a huge inconvenience to them. Now this really hurt me. I’ve given up a whole heck of a lot to move myself here and try to make a life with them as my closest friends. So to be ignored and dismissed was pretty awful. And realizing that I can try to learn Chitumbuka all I want, but it’s so difficult I’ll likely never be fluent enough to really understand. Plus they’ve gotten mean in their vernacular usage lately. I’ve spent months at lunches, breaks, meetings, and casual chatting, not understanding. And I’m totally fine with that. I have no problem just sitting peacefully while they talk amongst themselves. It actually makes me smile. But lately they’ve taken to mocking us to our faces, refusing to tell us what’s going on, and then laughing hysterically at our incomprehension. I’m not okay with the meanness of it. So all of this was only fueling the problem of the meeting. It ended up with me leaving campus because there is nowhere private there to cry. The toilet – my usual hideout – was closed since we had no water. So I spent an hour sobbing in Banda’s room – his poor roommates must think I’m crazy. No resolution of course, but it helped to cry to someone who does actually understand my frustrations. I’ve since taken a more indifferent stance. I’ll do my best to learn all of the Chitumbuka that I can and that’s all I can do. They’ve had American people working here for 10 years – if they haven’t changed to be more inclusive by now, they’re not going to and there’s no point in my getting worked up about it.

11. Being sick really sucks when you’re away from home. Already knew this one of course. But I’ve been sick for 6 days, feeling alternately like an elephant is on my chest, feeling like my head is going to explode, having a nose that’s running all over the place, and a cough that is so violent it makes me retch.

12. So while it does suck to be an outsider, there are some undeniable perks to being a foreigner in Malawi. Near the top of that list is medical care. The hospital here is awful. It’s free which is great but there is also only one doctor and the nurses are horribly understaffed and overworked. Waiting times stretch into hours. And then you end up in a huge room with 30 of your closest friends, all of you sick with different things. I’d imagine it’s a miracle that you don’t catch something else while you’re there. But I have to say “imagine” because I don’t really know. My skin affords me better treatment. We’ve tried to refuse and push others in front of us who were waiting longer, but that rarely works. We see the doctor fairly quickly – within the hour tops – and for severe cases, we’ve all gotten private rooms. And if I don’t want to deal with the hospital, I don’t really have to. I can choose instead to go to the private clinic in town because I can afford the $5 fee for both doctor visit and medication… something that unfortunately most of my neighbors cannot. In fact, I experienced a combined advantage with this current bout of illness. Banda was going to take me to the hospital but at the last minute had to cover classes for an absent teacher. I didn’t want to go to the hospital alone. So Paul dropped me at the clinic, warning that if I wasn’t done in 30 minutes, I would have to bike taxi and walk home – roughly a 1 hour journey. Not really something that my sick self wanted to do. So when the receptionist walked me past all of the waiting women, I let it happen. I could say that it happened so fast, I didn’t really know what was happening. I could say that it’s okay to accept the one advantage per month when we are deluged by disadvantages at least 10 times per day. But let’s be honest. I simply didn’t want to walk home. I’m not proud to admit it. I hate when foreigners blindly reap all of the benefits while bitching loudly about the pitfalls. Or even worse, gallivanting through a foreign country without realizing that the only reason they’re living the good life is because of the elevated conditions their skin affords them. I like to think I don’t do that often. That I take the bad with the good and try to walk softly and in community. And yet, here I was passing up ladies with sick babies. I was out of that place in 20 minutes flat and home in bed in under an hour. But days later I still feel guilty.

13. They do celebrate Valentine’s Day here. Who said it was just a Hallmark holiday?! Lol Just kidding, it still makes me nauseous. The nice thing is that I got signed up for some promotion from the phone company where I got 100 free text messages in honor of Valentine’s Day…. not gonna lie, I’m probably most excited about that lol. It did actually end up being a nice day. Much more laid-back and simple than it is in America, so I appreciated that. I was going to make a special dessert that Banda loves but Vitu showed up at my door so that plan went out the window. Ended up sitting outside of the Open School chatting with students until the Vitu-Whisperer was done with class. Once Banda was done, we walked Vitu home but his parents weren’t there so we took him along to Gondwe’s where we had some minerals. Vitu got his very own bottle lol and finished it before the two adults! Dropped him off on the way home and then continued on to cook dinner – spaghetti with fried eggs. So weird. But apparently his mom used to make it all the time for him. He had to teach me how to do the eggs because they’re not our fried eggs. They heat up A LOT of oil and then pour the broken eggs into the oil. So it basically soaks up the oil and gets all puffy. Bizarre. And totally disgusting when you think about the oil. But they tasted ok. And to appease him, I tried it with the spaghetti and sauce. Not too bad. Watched “When Harry Met Sally” during dinner and then walked over to watch the Chelsea football game. Fell asleep in the staff room (of course) so that was pretty much my night. Loved that it involved hanging out with friends just as much as it did with each other. My kinda Valentine’s Day.

Found out that the 3rd year Electrical class (with my faves – Georgina, Cobby, Charity, Chimwemwe, Haslon, etc.) did not make. Well there were enough people, but Soko resigned because he found a new job, so the teacher who was supposed to teach 3rd year got shifted to teaching the 2nd year class. Was pretty disappointed about this and we had a difficult goodbye with Georgina and Cobby, full of hugs and sadness since they will be moving down south (a 25 hour public bus ride) and I likely won’t see them for months, if not years. I’d gotten used to having them around again and loved hanging out and chatting. I was more upset though when Georgina started talking about her future plans. With the certification level that they have currently, they haven’t been able to find decent, long-term jobs. So they were hoping the better level that they would get with the 3rd year would boost them into something good career-wise. Without the class now, she’s planning on moving to Blantyre and going back to secondary school. To explain, you take exams at the end of secondary school (high school) that determine whether or not you go to college. Unfortunately there are only 4 (is that right past volunteers?) traditional universities here, which accept about 2,000 students in total for the whole country each year. So that’s like 2% of the population getting a college degree and the rest are just left out. Odds are, her scores are not going to be good enough to go to college. So she’s basically abandoning the idea of being an electrician and will likely end up just staying without a job. I cannot even explain to you how heavy this weighs on my heart. She’s so fabulous and bright and just plain amazing that it hurts me to hear that she thinks she’s at a dead end.

I went with Clifford and Chief Mwanganda to see the other plot of land that I’m considering. It was way bigger – I really only need half of it – but unfortunately the chief didn’t seem to want to sell only part of it. So I’m worried that it will be way more than I can afford. I feel more drawn to the other plot aesthetically, but this second one is the more practical option. It’s literally right next to MIRACLE (it shares a boundary) which is great socially since the majority of my friends live on campus. It’s also nice security wise because I’d be close to trusted people if anything happens, whereas the other is kind of in the middle of nowhere. And electricity hookups MIGHT be easier since it’s near campus. We’ll see. It’s definitely not as beautiful, but I think with some clearing of the bushes and some slashing of the grass, it has potential. There’s a great tree too which is nice. And there’s enough land that I could eventually cultivate (plant crops) one day or build rental quarters on it. Just waiting on Clifford to see what the prices are for everything. Keep your fingers crossed that I can afford one of them!!

Laura and I have had some very interesting chats lately about different Malawian cultures, specifically with gender roles, familial connections, and marriage. Because here in Malawi, they simply don’t understand the concept of just dating someone. Within a day of hearing that Banda and I were dating, they suddenly blew it into “Alyson’s got a fiancé.” Sigh. But one of the nice things that has come out of that craziness (which I’m about to give up trying to dispel since it’s like an indestructible cockroach) is that the Madames have been very forthcoming on their advice. And even though I’m not really in that place, I’ve always found hearing about such things fascinating. Last year Molly and Matt and I were able to have some long chats with Madame Mwalweni about similar topics, so I was excited to continue learning. Madame Sichone kicked it off by telling us about some of the traditions that seem stranger to a Western mind. I’m all for different lifestyles but when those rituals are physically and emotionally abusive to pre-teen and teenage girls, no ma’am. So those stories were difficult to hear at times. From what she was saying though, those activities do seem to be limited to a small tribe rather than being widespread. Because, as usual, it’s impossible to paint all Malawians with the same brush. No such thing as a definitive “Malawian culture” because there are so many different tribes of peoples, all with their own histories and traditions – and even languages (there are 40ish of them in Malawi – just an indication of how diverse this country is!). Our chat with Madame Mwalweni was much less voyeuristic and thus more to my taste; more about understanding the meanings behind certain rituals (some of which are emotionally lovely) and how to respectfully find a place of belonging. Especially because she not only talked about marriage relations, but also about how different family members are expected to act and signs of respect and how to visit new households. It was just really nice – like talking to an Auntie – and I know the things she told us will be more than helpful in the years to come and even now just in my daily interactions with teachers and neighbors.

Nearly sliced my thumb off while slicing bread the other day. A bit exaggerative, but there was blood spouting everywhere and I was worried for a bit that I’d need to go to the doctor. Fortunately, it looks like I’ll be just fine if I can keep it clean and uninfected (a bigger task here in Malawi lol). Oh how I miss American conveniences… never truly appreciated the saying “best thing since sliced bread” until I moved here!

Had a GREAT trip to Gondwe’s! As mentioned in a previous post, I was becoming dubious about the wisdom of taking Vitu along with us, because of his hysterical fits when we leave. So we passed his house without a peep, but of course he heard through the grapevine that we were around, so he came trotting up to Gondwe’s. He was even more adorable then ever – so much giggling and belly-laughter that we were shocked! He spent a good hour sitting on my lap and leaping for my neck when I dared to set him down. He loved the horsey game this time and also decided to help himself to the last sips of my Coca-Cola. Eventually we gathered a crowd so we spent a while chatting with them and drawing in the dirt, before it all got to be too hectic and thus time to leave. I was apprehensive, especially since we didn’t have anyone with us to translate for him and his family. But I used my limited knowledge to just keep saying to him “We are going home. You should stay here. We will find you tomorrow.” And I don’t know if it was that or if his parents spanked it into him last time, but he was perfectly calm! No crying, no clinging to us. He hugged us goodbye, I passed him off to his dad, and he even gave a little wave. Oh it was so lovely and made my heart happy to know that we can now spend time with him without feeling awful about abandonment!

Laura and I have completely bonded with Raymond and far from being the quiet, conservative boy we first thought he was, we’ve come to love his chattiness, frequent giggles, and suggestive side comments. Love him like the brother I never had! We’ve spent many hours watching Nigerian films with him (which I’m finally getting used to and coming to appreciate for their ridiculousness) and he even came by our house by himself the other day to visit. Had a fun time as he got his friendship bracelet from Laura and we offered him one cookie and he grabbed 10. And he ate every single one of them, the adorable kid.

Tragedy almost struck one day in the form of our water being turned off. The Brothers failed to tell us that we were supposed to pay the water and electric bills… now I’d be more than happy to, but the bills don’t even come to our house, so I have no idea what to even do! Figured we were just supposed to pay them back after they handled it. So the month ended and the water board came to turn off our water. Thank goodness that Beams found them at it and paid, so we still have water! Whew! That would have been a 2-week nightmare of waiting for them to turn it back on.

In related news, we just went through a 28 hour stretch of having no electricity. Without a supply of firewood, we’ve been pretty hungry without our stove-top cooker. Thankfully it came back tonight – my eyes hurt it was so bright!

Laura and I had our first experience of making nsima on our own… well really she did because it’s kinda a one person process and then next time, I’ll be the cook. The boys had us over again so we could do it, but adorably made their own pot of nsima so that we wouldn’t all go hungry :) Laura did a brilliant job – I was so impressed! She stirred the whole time which is quite the task since it gets very thick and tiring. And I thought the nsima was pretty great for a first try. It stayed together in patties which isn’t something I can say for my first attempt. Raymond said it wasn’t cooked all the way through, but that’s what he’s here for – next time we can make the necessary corrections! I’m sure it will just take time and practice but we are both bound and determined to become master nsima chefs. Had a great time eating with them, all 7 of us sitting in a circle on their living room floor, dishing up food and taking a meal together. Had an overwhelming feeling of family. I love when that feeling just rushes up on you unexpectedly. Moments to take note of and linger in. Also had a solid 5 minutes of hysterical laughter as we decided to figure out the logistics of one of the sweet Yawo rituals involving the knotting of a chitenje (cloth – like a sheet). Lol Oh man I can’t even type without shaking with laughter thinking of Banda waiting impatiently for my laughter to subside, Raymond looking on with non-stop giggles, and Laura’s inspired photography angles. Truly an epic evening.

The day after our return from Nkhata Bay, we didn’t go to work but instead spent the day in town, going to meetings for the library project, renewing visas, going to the clinic, and buying groceries since our house was empty post-trip. Was relaxing at home after running around all day, when suddenly I heard a knock on the door. Dragged myself up grumbling (unplanned visitors here 95% of the time are only asking for something, not just being pleasant). Open the door. And who is there?! VITU! With his older brother. Apparently he had been crying for us all day so his family finally got fed up and just brought him to us. So his brother left him with us and went off to watch a football game. Oh Malawi and your different ways of parenting. Laura was on the phone with her parents so I was left on my own for a while. Now I love children. But Vitu is stubbornly difficult. Always seems to be bored or unhappy no matter what you do. So I gave him a tootsie roll which he shoved whole into his mouth lol. Decided to take him on a walk because nothing in our house is kid-friendly. Meandered over to the summer hut in search of someone who could interpret so we didn’t have to sit in silence. As usual though he pretty much refused to speak despite the teachers’ attempts. Mlotha made me feel better though by telling me that as long as I kept giving him hugs and smiling at him, he was very happy. After a good while, it was finally time for Banda to be out of classes and since he’s the only one who can ever get Vitu to talk, we went in search of him. Swung Vitu up on my shoulders and thoroughly enjoyed him choking me/messing up my hair while we walked along. He even asked me later in the visit to carry him like that again. I was so shocked to hear his little voice! Found Banda and went back to the house where we continued to bribe Vitu with American food. Beef jerky, Cheeze-its, and Raisinets lol. He loved all of it of course. Banda’s face was priceless as he tasted the beef jerky and immediately passed it along to Vitu, who spent the rest of the visit doublefisting about 4 servings of beef jerky. That kid was content. Eventually we had to go though since we had plans for the evening, so we put Vitu on the back of Banda’s bike and bike-taxied him home. And this is where things turned not so pleasant. He immediately started throwing a fit, screaming hysterically for a good 30 minutes, writhing on the ground in agony. Oh my lord it was awful. And it happened again when we saw him a few days later. So I’m pretty sure that if he keeps that up, we won’t be visiting anymore. At least I won’t. It’s just not fair to his parents to leave them with a screaming child who refuses to listen or eat.

Laura and I tried again to go to the airport for drinks with Banda and Raymond, but alas again it was closed. Terrible luck with that. We even went early but to no avail. We did have a fun walk though and have come to realize that Raymond understands everything we say. This is not necessarily a good thing lol. Usually if there is something scandalous we want to say, Laura and I will just say it really fast so that it is lost to any snoopy ears. But not with Raymond… his giggle lets us know every time he has caught something scandalous! Fortunately, we’ve also come to realize that we feel free around Raymond and Banda in a way that we don’t usually around other Malawians. For all of the great friendships I’ve made here with teachers and workers and Brothers, they’re the only two where I don’t feel the need to censor or make sure I’m being proper. So that’s lovely. I’ll be sad when Raymond’s student teaching is up at the end of March – hopefully he’ll be posted in Karonga! Dare to dream lol.

Unfortunately I did spend most of last week very sick. As in – not going to work because I feel like I’m going to throw up every moment of the day – kind of sick. Definitely the most sick I’ve ever been here – or at least the longest and most consistent throughout the day. Being sick in Malawi is pretty awful, especially when the power goes out leaving you with no fan and a heat-box of a house. Spent a lot of time laying on the concrete floor, trying to get comfortable. Adorable moment as Banda brought over an Orange Fanta “for the patient.” My need for productivity did win out though since we were having dinner guests the first night, so I spent my sick day alternating between laying down with bouts of nausea and making banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, cheeseburgers, French fries (from scratch – unpeeled potatoes), pickles, and beans. Side note: So proud of myself for figuring out how to make banana bread! It tastes wonderful, even Banda likes it, and it’s going to make Laura and me very fat over the coming months because we snack on it every time we walk into the room!

Like I said, we were having dinner guests – Banda, Kalua, and the 4 student teachers - so I ended up making dinner for 7 despite my feeling crappy. I’ve never cooked alone for that many people before so it was bit daunting. Also, I’ve never made hamburgers before. They turned out pretty rare, close to raw for poor Raymond I think. But the boys powered through, eating all of their burgers despite the bad cooking and that they just think our food is so bizarre. It was pretty adorable watching them try to assemble their burgers though, keeping in mind that they had never even heard of hamburgers before. Had a fun time telling them how to layer and watching them squirt ketchup all over the place. Props to Raymond for creativity – he put the fries onto the burger itself. And to Kalua for cuteness – after hearing that putting cheese on the burger made it a cheeseburger, he wanted to know if putting cucumbers on it made it a “cucumberger.” They also must have thought dessert was strange because I made cookies but they were the soft kind, my preference, but here all cookies are hard. But despite the strange foods they seemed to have a fun time and my heart just about overflowed with happiness as I stood there and watched them laughing and eating on the couch. Love them.

So how many other crazy activities can Alyson do while feeling ridiculously sick? How to top a 7 person dinner party? Well, how about spending 2 hours sweeping water out of a house? That’ll work. While waiting for my Communications class on Thursday morning, Laura suddenly realized that she had left a tap open in the bathroom. So she ran home while I anxiously awaited the news. It turns out that there was about 2 inches of water flooded in her bedroom as well as the bathroom! So I ran home to help and had to search Chaminade’s campus for brooms since we had nothing with which to move the water. Thank goodness for Kalua who ended up missing his class in order to help me find them! And his reaction when he saw the great flood of 2011? “Oh that is just too much!” Because, you know, 1 inch would have been a pleasure :) So Laura and I spent a couple of hours sweeping water out of her room, through the living room, and out the back door. We called it “Lake Azungu” – “White People’s Lake.” Luckily nothing was ruined – only soaked – and our floors are now clean! Even at the time it was funny lol but now I can barely type for giggling.

Other than all of those exciting moments, Laura and I have also had some really nice moments of just sitting at home, having long chats about different things in life. Really nice. And she’s started getting into the swing of African cooking more, so that’s also been great to have someone to share in the meal prep tasks… it’s always more enjoyable when there are 2 sets of hands! Also rekindled my love for “Mama Mia” as we had a great night watching and singing along to that!

Signed my first contract at MIRACLE – exciting moment! Got my first paycheck – not so exciting lol. $130 a month, baby. Oh student loans, pay yourself back.

Took Raymond on his first trip to the lake with us and Banda. I think he had a fun time lol. Great excitement was had as a singing group was recording a music video while we were there. Pretty funny to watch them dance in the waves all serious-like. Also, scandalous moment as there was a Malawian couple who first was making out in the water and then moved inland to literally lay on top of each other on the beach with the waves lapping up on them. It was like a movie lol. And so distracting we couldn’t help but watch. Have never seen a Malawian couple give each other a peck kiss in public or even hug, much less have a full out make-out session. Poor Raymond was curled up in the fetal position he was so uncomfortable about it! Raced bike taxis home – Banda won, the skinny brat, even while balancing a tray of 30 eggs. My guy put up a brave fight, surging out in front for the early lead, but he didn’t quite understand the concept of “slow and steady wins the race.” Passed a truck that was stuck on the walk home and was suddenly deluged by people yelling “Madame!” and launching themselves on me for hugs. Remember that it was pitch dark at this point so I had no idea who people were lol. Only Cobby, who we could tell by his loudness and cologne. Fun to see him randomly since it had been over a week since our last meeting and I was missing the kid.

Went with Clifford to see some land that I might buy. As mentioned before, I’m going to build a house here in Karonga. It’s very difficult to find anything for rent that has electricity and water that isn’t more than I make in a month. And you can build a small house for about $2,500. Huge chunk out of my summer work savings, but it’ll pay itself back in 2-3 years. And if I have to move at some point I can always rent it to people. So it’s a good investment. By “small” I mean 23 feet by 20 feet for the whole house, so that will be 2 bedrooms plus a large sitting room that can eventually be sectioned off into a 3rd bedroom for the 10 children I’m planning to have :) Just kidding, take a breath people. But I digress. It’s tiny by American standards, but for me it’s just right. One of the bedrooms will be a make-shift kitchen and then if I do have kids one day, I will build another room outside to house the kitchen. There’s not going to be a toilet inside because that is too expensive. Instead I’ll have a pit latrine, but I’ll do it up nice – going to build a seat for it so that it’s comfortable. Also the shower will be detached outside. I’m excited! Once we get the land, it should go fairly quickly – maybe a month to build everything, although waiting for the electrical hookup sounds like it might take much longer.

Anyways, back to the land. I want to buy from a friend so that hopefully they will give me a fair price. So we went with Clifford whose father has a huge plot that he’s willing to sell part of. Walked for only 15 minutes which is great that it’s so close to campus. And I was also pretty charmed by the beauty of the area. I could definitely see myself living there. The plot itself is not as beautiful as the rest, but when you’re surrounded on all 4 sides by it, I think that’s enough. There are hills behind, a rice field in front and huge hundred-year-old trees on the neighboring plots. It’s like a little oasis in the generally unattractiveness that is Karonga bohme (town). So we’ll see what the price is – hopefully it’s right. He’s also taking me to see another piece of land that belongs to Chief Mwanganda, so I’m excited for that as well as to see the Chief again, who we knew before and who has to approve my land purchase :)

Lazy Sundays – my favorite day of the week here in Malawi. Even beats Beach Saturdays! Lazed about in bed until 2 pm and then spent the afternoon being enjoyably productive. Also got to talk to Mum for the first time in a long time and had a nice chat with Sara, even though we failed at Skype and had to move to Facebook Chat. I have also begun again in earnest teaching myself Chitumbuka because Dorcas told me I was going to be a terrible mother who cannot even understand my own children. Now I don’t believe her snarkiness for a second, but it did make me want to work harder at teaching myself. So I’m going through the Peace Corps grammar book that we have, slowly working my way through the lessons and trying to memorize vocabulary. Banda’s started helping too, talking to me in vernacular as much as possible. He’s good about it – he speaks slowly, doesn’t laugh, and is willing to repeat until I get it. None of which happens with the other teachers or students. So there’s a lot of “what?”s going on, but some of it is sticking and at the very least, I’m getting over my shyness of using the language. Because before even if I thought I knew how to respond in vernacular, I was too embarrassed about stuttering my way through or mispronouncing something, so I wouldn’t even try. But now it’s getting easier rolling off the tongue.

Here's the new link for my Africa - Year 2 - pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2030791&id=61900829&l=744ff8b211

Oh Nkhata Bay! You have lost your appeal for me. Not quite sure why. But I do think it has something to do with how freaking long it takes to get there. I think I’d rather just go somewhere closer that only takes 2 hours round trip rather than 12 hours. Plus I just ended up missing people the whole time… missing Karonga friends but even more so, missing the old volunteers because it just wasn’t the same without them!!

But anyways, the trip started out with the regular craziness of the bus depot. Usually the Karonga depot is pretty tame. Not this time though. Maybe it’s because we went in the afternoon (I had to teach in the morning) so all of the conductors were frantically trying to scoop customers away from each other. I ended up surrounded with people yelling at me to come with them. I handled it far better than I ever would have last year and actually enjoyed being a smartass back to their lies and gimmicks. Works much better than getting frustrated or flustered. So I was contentedly trying to figure things out in a mass of 10 conductors but apparently it got too rough for Laura’s liking as I was suddenly transformed into a ping pong ball as they (gently) bumped me around a bit. Cue the yelling of the Mama lol so funny to watch Laura chastising them like they were children. It didn’t work, of course, but it was great to see. Ended up picking someone I knew since all of the buses were almost empty anyway. But that didn’t stop the other conductors from sticking their heads into the doors and windows to yell at us that we’d picked the wrong bus. They really were out of control. My attempt to explain to them that “I like this guy and I cannot stand the rest of ya’ll” fell on deaf ears. Laura eventually coined the phrase “Suck it!” as the most appropriate way to respond to their obnoxiousness – relieves our frustrations without them understanding its offensive nature.

Finally made it out of the bus depot after more than an hour of waiting for the bus to fill. And that’s when the true adventure began. Had a very urgent peeing emergency. I’m usually very good about this – heck, I’ve made it 25 hours on a public bus with only 1 bathroom break. I’ve got this. But not on this trip. Nope, with one hour left to Mzuzu, I suddenly knew I was going to pee my pants if that bus did not pull over. So I waited until Ekwendeni and then used my limited Chitumbuka to tell the conductor that I was sick and needed to find a pit latrine immediately. I was actually pretty proud that I could put together what I thought was a clear request. Well he ignored me. We pulled back onto the road and kept going. WTF man. Pull over for 3 minutes! Earlier in the trip, you spent 10 minutes sitting at a bus stop while the driver went off in search of cookies. Seriously people, DON’T pretend that an urgent sense of timeliness is a trait that 99.9% of Malawians possess. So I used more Chitumbuka to ask one of the other passengers where we were going. “Mzuzu.” To which I frantically say “chimbuzi yayi?!” which means “no pit latrine?!” Yeah, no, they apparently made the executive decision that I could just hold it. So not happening. At this point I’m sitting there saying out loud “I don’t know how to say ‘emergency.’ I should know that word.” And Laura catches that and just starts yelling at the bus driver “This is an emergency! An emergency! Pull over NOW!” over and over again. And with her crazy hair and eyes…. They decided it was worth it I guess lol. So they pulled over at some field (would it have been soooo hard to stop at a neighboring house where I could borrow a pit latrine – stupid boys). I rip Laura’s chitenje off of her so I’d have something to wrap around my bare exposed behind, leap out and start running/waddling to find some shrub cover. Find a bush but lo and behold there’s a couple walking towards me and a man hoeing in his field less than 10 feet away. Awwwwesome. But I drop my pants anyway. The show of a lifetime for them, baby. Make it back to the bus mortified beyond belief but laughing hysterically. Manic laughter from Laura and I for the rest of the trip. Those Malawians must have thought we were mad.

Caught the last bus to Nkhata Bay for the day. So of course we had to sit and wait for another hour for that to fill. Laura entertained herself by making up a song to capture the excitement she felt when she realized the man next to us had a (live) chicken in a bag.

Oh. And 20 minutes into that drive from Mzuzu to Nkhata Bay (mind you, it’s an hour and a half ride – nice and short)….. they stopped so half the men on the bus could pile out to pee. WHAT THE HELL UNIVERSE?! Guys have to pee right after leaving the depot? No problem. But we had to practically light a freaking fire on the bus to get it to pull over for me after being on it for 4 hours. Ugh.

Finally made it to Nkhata Bay. Stopped by Hot Spot for a quick dinner and some chatting with Jacob before continuing onwards to the lodge. That hike up the hill to Mayoka (lodge) seemed a lot steeper than I remember. Made it around 10. Was pretty exhausted from a full day of teaching and traveling, so it was intended to be an early night. Haha. Laura crashed and I meant to follow but Benji and Special were both in a very chatty mood, the latter uncharacteristically so, so I figured I should take advantage of that time. Heard more about their lives in that one night than I had in a year of visiting the place before. It was lovely. Stayed up until 2 am just chatting with them and sipping on sodas.

It was a pretty tame trip as far as Nkhata Bay vacations go. The place is known for nightly drinking and daily sleeping off hangovers. But this time, there was no drinking and our days were filled with lots of swimming and chatting and reading and afternoon naps on benches. It was nice to catch up on rest and relaxation since life in Karonga has been more hectic than ever! Also got to enjoy some great food – taquitos and pizza at Mayoka but I think I was even more excited by the chicken that I ate multiple times at Hot Spot. We don’t get chicken ever – not since being here – because it’s expensive and it doesn’t taste like ‘western’ chicken anyway so it’s not really worth it. But Jacob’s chicken is fabulous and I loved it!

Other highlights from the trip:

- Saw Alex a few times although regrettably he was seemingly glued to his seat at a bar in town. He came up to Mayoka both nights to visit but he came so late we were already asleep. Sad that I didn’t get to chat with him more.

- Bought some things from the curios which was strange for me. I never buy anything more than bracelets. But one guy had candlestick holders that I’ve been wanting every since Matt got some last year. And I also bought a beautiful painting. Still waiting to move into my new place before I’ll hang it. I was thrilled that many of the curios remembered me from last year as the teacher from Karonga. Makes me happy that I’ve made a good enough impression plus it means they don’t harass me to buy something every time I walk past. Had a nice time sitting and catching up with them.

- I was demonstrating the dance that Banda taught me the other day in an effort to prove to Benji and Special that I am simultaneously a horrible dancer and trying to improve. They informed me that it is in fact a wedding dance that the bride and groom do. Haha. I imagine you could have fried an egg on my face in that moment.

- Met with Matthias who was formerly a bricklaying teacher at MIRACLE and now stays in Nkhata Bay and is a building supervisor. We met so we could talk about the possibility of my building a house (more on that in a later post) and I was hoping to hear his advice. He was fabulously helpful in that area, but it was also just nice to talk to him. I’d forgotten how cheeky and funny he is! Wish he were still in Karonga!

- Some idiot locked us into the dorm one night. That’s right. INTO the dorm. At like midnight. There were at least 5 of us in there sleeping and yet for some reason, one of our dorm mates decided it’d be smart to deadbolt the door from the outside. I discovered this when I got up to pee. After a short burst of hysterical laughter and astonishment from Laura and me, I called Benji to let us out, but a showering girl (and the likely culprit methinks) made it there first. OH And I forgot – the night before, someone locked me OUT. They bolted the door from the inside even though my bed was clearly empty. Do people seriously not understand the concept of a dorm?! You are not the only person staying there. If you want privacy, rent a freaking chalet. Especially in a place like Nkhata Bay where it’s totally fine to drift in at all hours. Sigh, seriously don’t understand how people can be so stupid sometimes.

So needless to say it was an interesting trip, full of laughter and bemusement. After our 4.5 hour ride home (it’s supposed to take between 3.5-4 hours only), we were fairly exhausted and irritable. This was not improved by a brief bike taxi fiasco where they tried to gouge us and charge 300 kwacha to the roadblock. I’m sorry, but no. I just took the same route a week ago and it was 100. But we had Banda with us then. Still, the most I’ve ever paid is 150, the jerks. So I walked away and finally one honest soul came up and told us we could go with him. Thoroughly enjoyable ride. He had a friend who rode alongside of us for a while who was thrilled to learned that I understood some of their conversation. So we were able to patch together enough broken English and broken Chitumbuka to have a nice little chat. Big smiles when we passed Banda who was cycling into town to meet us! So he turned around and biked us to the road block and then walked with us up to MIRACLE. Lovely to see him again. Laura and I both agreed that it was like a piece of our group was missing throughout the weekend. It was strange not to have our little three-some running around being scandalous :)

So all in all, an interesting Nkhata Bay trip. Definitely some fun moments but overall it was just kind of lonely and strange. Like I said, now that I don’t really want that crazy party atmosphere, I’d rather just go somewhere closer to Karonga where the beach is just as beautiful and the quietness just as relaxing.

Lovely times at MIRACLE as old Electrical students continue to come back, specifically Isaac. Forgot how much that kid makes me smile! Had a great day just chatting with him in the library, hearing all about his past 6 months which, by the way, include an engagement so I’ll finally get to go to a Malawian wedding! Also had a fabulous time with Cobby which made me smile because he’s been a little snot lately. But that afternoon was just like the old days, full of laughing and giving each other a hard time. He even offered to be stick boy in my eventual wedding; or small bridegroom with Georgina as his small bride.

Laura and I celebrated our 3-week-iversary on Wednesday! It feels like we’ve been here so much longer than that. Clifford came over to visit which was a lovely way to spend the afternoon. Abraham also came by and brought his girlfriend which we’d been nagging him about for some time. I think we overwhelmed her with our excitement lol.

For our real celebration, we decided to walk to the airport for drinks. Banda and Raymond came along which made the walk all the more enjoyable, but alas the airport was closed. That always seems to happen to us. It was fun, nonetheless, and I think we’ve successfully forced Raymond to accept our friendship. To end the night, he told us it was his birthday. Oh Malawians! I wish they made a bigger deal out of birthdays here… apparently he had forgotten until his Mum called him to wish him Happy Birthday :)

Bu-bump-bu-bump… Beep beep beep…. Bu-bump-bu-bump. That’s the sound of Alyson getting (figuratively speaking) thrown under the bus. Then them backing up and doing it again. A.K.A. my day on Thursday. Awesome. The Director was away on a business trip so Madame Principal was supposed to cover his classes. But she is a very busy lady so she didn’t have time. And thus I was selected to spend allll day with one group of students in the computer lab. Even though I have plenty of work to keep me busy in the library. Oh well, it happens. What does one teach for 8 hours? Well not much apparently. Because they’ve already done typing and Word…. Which are the only two things I know how to do. The next task on their list was Excel. Haha. Right. Not. I know literally nothing about Excel. So I decided that if I knew nothing and if my planned day was going to be derailed, then I was going to enjoy myself and so were the students. So for the first part of the day they reviewed Word, typing business letters and working out the kinks in their knowledge. Break for a successful English/Communications class and then, after lunch, I made the executive decision to let them just explore the computers. I could make it sound good by saying that they will only learn completely if they discover for themselves and develop some sort of intuition about computer usage. Which is all true – their lack of curiosity and self-motivated discovery drove me absolutely bonkers last year. But really, I just didn’t have it in me to teach myself Excel over the lunch period and then teach them. Not gonna happen. So instead they got to have fun for a couple of hours and I enjoyed catching up with the Chaminade teachers in the summer hut.

“I told my father, ‘You may think my mother is dead, but when I’m with Madame, I feel like I still have a mother.’” – George. Well doesn’t that just make me want to bust out in tears?! One of my Electrical 1 students told me this yesterday. They’ve told me before that they think of me as their Mum, but for some reason this time just jerked my tear ducts more than usual. Love that class.

Laura, Banda and I decided to walk to Gondwe’s Shop after work in search of Cherry Plums and our adopted son, Vitu. No success on the Cherry Plums, had to make do with Coke. But after some calling, Vitu came trotting out of his house with a huge grin on his face, ready for some big hugs. Gondwe’s is always the place-to-be for children, but even so it seemed like there were more than usual around. Or maybe they were just braver. Because we were immediately swarmed upon arrival. Banda and I made our way to buy drinks and I looked back to find Laura lost in a sea of kiddos who were all fighting each other for high-five positions. It was rather adorable and I found myself wishing I had a camera because the joy on everyone’s faces (including Ms. Laura) was simply beautiful. They stuck around the whole time and we had a grand time figuring out each other’s names, making faces/noises, and writing ABCs and numbers and names in the dirt. And I was pretty thrilled to use some of my basic Chitumbuka knowledge to communicate. And you know what? Not a single one of them in the whole hour asked us for money or candy or anything. I wish all of our interactions went like that here! Just fun, no assumptions. Stopped to bring Raymond a birthday Coke on the way home.

Had a late dinner that night with the boys. Namely Banda, Raymond, and the two other student teachers – I love that they’ve become “the boys” in my mind. It’s nice to have a little go-to group. Anyways, Laura and I were supposed to prepare nsima for them, but they had a meeting that went really late so by the time we all gathered, Raymond (who skipped the meeting) had already prepared rice to go along with the beans that we brought. We even got to eat with spoons rather than with our hands like we do at MIRACLE. I tell ya, it was like being in America again. More music videos again and 5 horrifying minutes as Banda tried to teach me a line dance (Molly, the one that you and he – or Kaunda maybe? – did at Planet that one time). Lots of feet tapping and spinning, so of course I was a disaster. Took about 10 tries and lots of demonstrating before I got down the 5 steps. Sigh. But I did it! We also got to watch an awful (-ly fantastic) Nigerian movie. Normally I just think they’re tiresome, but this one was hysterically bad, so we had a fun time watching that together. Finally dragged ourselves home where Banda and I proceeded to accidentally fall asleep on the couch. Good old Raymond sat there for 20 minutes before Laura finally came in to check on us and woke us up. Poor kid.

We leave today to go to Nkhata Bay. Oddly enough, I’m not as excited about it as I used to be. Maybe I just enjoy Karonga too much. Maybe I’m not really looking forward to 11 hours crammed in a bus with my knees up to my ears and a hiking backpack on my lap. Maybe I’m not in the mood for drinking and meeting random travelers. Who knows. I’m sure it’ll be fun once we get there though. And it’ll be nice to catch up on sleep, since Nkhata Bay practically requires afternoon naps. And to have a real working shower for once, not to mention a warm one! And chicken and maybe even taquitos! See, I’ve talked myself into it. Then on Monday we’re going to Mzuzu so I can (hopefully) meet with some government officials to iron out all the details for shipping the books. I’m so ready for them to just be here and be all taken care of already!

After spending all week wishing it was the weekend so that we could go to the lake, Laura, Banda and I unsurprisingly spent 2 days out of our 3 day weekend lounging on the shores of Lake Malawi! We hitched a ride into town on Saturday morning with the school car, crammed in the back, hugging our knees, wedged between Madames’ open legs. Good thing space bubbles don’t really exist here! It’s times like those that I can only laugh about being in Karonga…. It’s a weird combination of being so uncomfortable and yet still grinning and laughing because the funniest moments also seem to happen in those situations. Made it to town and had a very efficient shopping trip. Was pretty proud that we got everything done with time to spare! Had a heart-swelling moment when we went to buy mangos from our usual lady. We got Banda to translate that we wanted to know what color the inside was (because last time we bought yellow ones instead of orange ones… not as tasty). So he tells her this and she cut up the whole mango for us to taste! We were just expecting her to peel back the skin. But instead we ended up standing in the middle of the market, savoring the best mango I’ve ever eaten, sun beaming down on us (but in a good way now that we remembered our sun screen!), a nice breeze, with two of my favorite people in the world! It was just one of those happy-to-be-alive moments for both Laura and me!

Once all of our shopping was done and Madame Kaunda had promised to take it back to campus for us, we hopped on bike taxis and headed to the lake. Laura was jazzed about her first bike taxi experience… myself… not so much. Haven’t missed them at all lol. Plus I somehow got talked into sitting like a lady – side saddle – which doesn’t seem all that secure for me. And we weren’t on a paved road. Beautiful. But we made it there and I enjoyed Laura’s happiness lol. Had a lovely time at the lake as always, but even moreso because it wasn’t scorchingly hot. It actually looked like it was going to downpour on us, but it skirted around the lake. Lovely day! Capped off the day by joining the teachers in the staff room to watch the Chelsea football match. I haven’t been going as often since I always seem to be busy with household stuff, but I wanted to make the effort since I’ve missed hanging out with the Chaminade teachers. And we had a great time, especially myself as I laughed while listening to them continue the same (good-natured) fight that they have had every single game for the last two years. It never fails to make me smile! And water came at 2 am. Only the 4th time it’s come in our 3 weeks here. Bah. My next home will be down the hill when water comes every day. I’m so over this ‘let’s be constantly worried about water’ life.

Had my first ever trash burning experience! Laura couldn’t stand to do it to the universe. We even prayed/apologized first… but what can you do? No trash collectors here. Fairly successful event. There are still some stubborn pieces waiting for a Malawian touch, but I was proud that I managed to burn most of it! And my pyro-self kinda loved it.

As previously mentioned, we also went to the lake on Monday because it was a public holiday – Chilembwe Day! Chilembwe was a freedom fighter during the independence movement, inciting an uprising. Great lake day – ‘rented’ the car from the brothers so we didn’t have to deal with the hour commute otherwise. Laughed hysterically as Laura pretended on multiple occasions to be a crocodile sneaking up on Banda, never failing to evoke shrieks of terror. Too cute. She also had her first experience of harassing drunk men at the beach… shockingly enough a frequently screamed “Hey White Girl!” failed to woo her into a relationship with the beau. On the way home Laura wanted to pick up some bananas so she went into the market all by herself! I was impressed. I definitely never woulda done that only 3 weeks in. Sounds like she had a fun time. And a short time later I heard a roar of laughter and turned around to see Laura sauntering away from a crowd of bike taxi guys. Apparently one kept asking her for a banana and she shot him down, much to the amusement of some nearby madames. Love it.

I’ve also been practicing my Bawo skills, which have dropped severely during my time away. My counting has just gone up in smoke. Bawo is like Mancala by the way and is a favorite here. It’s very addictive so Molly and I used to play all of the time. Banda keeps destroying me (cockily and with great joy of course) so I’m determined to improve. I beat Abraham twice one afternoon so I was feeling good but then I lost spectacularly again to Banda later that night. I often forget how smart he is, but then I hear him vocalizing all of the counting that he’s done in his head (Molly – he counts out everything… he knows exactly where the play will end, even if it’s 7 or 8 steps later! Wowza, I stop after 2 and say good luck!). And it’s then that I remember that he got 1s on all of his subject exams. So basically he got the best possible scores in every class and was one of the top students in Malawi. Oi. Great Bawo opponent, eh?

One of the things I’ve most wanted to do since coming back is perfect my nsima making skills. Because 1. I’ve developed a real appreciation for the food. I actually am disappointed when they serve rice instead of nsima at MIRACLE for lunch. So I’d like to be able to make it for myself. And 2. No one is going to marry me if I can’t make nsima. And what will little Wanangwa Youngpeter eat?! :p But yes, in all seriousness, it was on my to-do list. So Banda said we could come over to his house and he’d teach us. Whoop! So I prepared beans for relish, grabbed some mangos as a thank-you for having us present, and we headed over. On time – they must have died with surprise. Banda has 3 student teachers living with him at the moment, so it was really quite the nice dinner party. I particularly enjoyed getting to know Raymond, upon whom Laura and I have decided to force our friendship. Love doing that. But anyways, he seems like a very sweet kid, so we’re hoping he will join us on our beach trips and airport outings. Raymond ended up being the nsima teacher for the evening, showing us the steps, letting us stir at different intervals, and quizzing me halfway through to make sure I was paying attention. I think I’ll end up with some huge muscles by the time I’m good at nsima preparation! Takes a lot of work. But I feel a lot better now about the process. Next time we visit them, we’re going to prepare the nsima and they’ll just stand by and make corrections. I’m excited for that! My love for Raymond was first bolstered when I saw him take a second helping of my beans and then later cemented when he asked me to teach him how I made them because he enjoyed them so much. I am always nervous sharing food I make, so I was thrilled! Had a lovely time, not only with the cooking lessons, but also watching music videos (favorite pastime of many Malawians) and getting to know each other. Side-splitting laughter as I looked over at the end of the night and Laura was covertly shoving a mango in her basketball shorts pocket. She wasn’t thrilled about having to give up so many of them since they were the best ever… so she was sure as hell going to get her mango serving…. Even if it had to be on-the-go and on-the-sly. And dripping wet… because that’s right, she pulled it out of a tub of water.

Fun times at MIRACLE this week – Cobby came back, so it was just like old times as him, Georgina and I sat around and talked instead of me doing work :) But I figure I might as well soak it in because soon they will be in classes!

Nearly died twice in one day however. First was in our dear little house. I had come home during the lunch break to check on Laura who wasn’t feeling well. Relaxed on the couch for a bit, sucking on a piece of hard candy that had come in a package from Mum. Must have begun dozing off because the next thing I know, I’m choking on the candy. Had a brief flash of “Oh my god, this is it. Do I swallow or try to gag it out?” Well I couldn’t get it out so I swallowed and it got caught in my throat. But with some water it eventually continued its path. And what did Laura do during all of this gagging? She kept reading in her room lol. Next time, do check on me dearie.

After that traumatic experience, we returned to MIRACLE and sat on a bench with Cobby, Georgina and Glory for a while so Laura could get to know them. As we went our separate ways, my second near-death experience occurred. Cobby went to kiss my hand (imitating Georgina, who had done it a moment earlier). I swatted him away. Keep in mind, I was sitting on the far side of the bench. He leapt up. And down my side of the bench goes! I’m about 3 inches away from face-planting into a pile of rocks, but in my eternal gracefulness, I somehow pull out of the swan dive just in time and stagger away. Whew.

We decided to leave campus after all of that. Didn’t want to tempt the “comes in threes” saying. Stopped at Chaminade on the way home because Jim and Robyn (yay!) were there with a group that was putting on a play about HIV/AIDS prevention. Tried to watch, but it was in vernacular and even our translator Banda couldn’t get it, so we ended up sitting outside waiting for a chance to talk to Jim and Robyn afterwards. Laura got her first traumatic experience with teenage Chaminade boys. One kind student came up and informed her that a crowd had gathered strategically to look up her skirt. Legs closed and down darling!

Also had a fun time as Banda brought over a bike one afternoon. It was like we were kids again as Laura and I attempted to ride. I say “attempted” because with the deep sand here, it’s a whole new experience. Had a blast pushing the bike so Banda could be a bike taxi for Laura. Laughed hysterically as Laura crashed the bike and Banda went running towards her screaming “Medical Help! Medical Help!” She was perfectly fine, no worries, and now has a great memory to smile about :)

Unfortunately I have been a bit hobbled lately. A few days ago I hurt my back (although I honestly have no idea how). It has become increasingly more painful and culminated last night with spasms that came with the slightest movements and shot pain all the way down my legs. Had a fun moment as Laura put on an Icy Hot patch and tried to do a massage… inadvertently in front of our open window so anyone walking past probably thought something scandalous was going on. But really nothing worked and I could barely move – spent the whole afternoon and evening prone on the couch, holding back tears. Didn’t want to come to work this morning but only did because I have to teach. Will likely go home immediately afterwards as even sitting in a chair is extremely painful. For now, I look like a 100 year old lady as I shuffle around all hunched over. When I told Madame Principal that I was having this problem, she replied without missing a beat, “When was the last time you laid with a man?” I of course busted out in embarrassed laughter, but it turns out she was completely serious. She proceeded to tell me that that was the grand solution to my problem. And that I should go out and hire someone (a little offended at the implications there lol). Dorcas of course chimed in with her own advice, telling me to take one of the male teachers and use the sick student bed in the Social Office. Yesterday, Madame Principal tried to convince Laura and I to go out and get pregnant. I told her we’d name the baby after her: Wanangwa Youngpeter. When did MIRACLE staff become so scandalous?!?!

We couldn’t decide which title / activity made us laugh more. So it’s a dual entry. :)

Had to give an orientation presentation about library usage on Friday. Was a bit nervous talking in front of 200 people – who I also had to cut off from lunch break dancing - but it went well. Kept it short and sweet! My heart was warmed when I visited the library later and found students skipping the disco (dance) in order to browse the bookshelves. Definite incentive to keep working hard on cataloging the books so that students have real, complete access!

As mentioned, MIRACLE had its first disco of the term, which ended up being so much fun! Nearly died of embarrassment when they told us the teachers had to start the dancing… my face was as red as my shirt! But one of the things I regret about last year is not dancing. I always let being embarrassed about my lack of skills get in the way and was too worried about looking like an idiot. So it’s one of my goals this year to just dance whenever I want and have fun with people and just go with it! So after gathering myself, I did a dance on stage and then proceeded to shimmy down the aisle of students, grabbing girls and getting them to dance. Old-self never would have done that! And you know what? I had a blast. And the students liked it! So pat on the back, Alyson. Also made Emmanuel’s day when I coaxed him into dancing. He may or may not have exclaimed with excitement and sprang up, all 6 foot 2 inches of him. I figured it’d be my last time getting to see him since he’s going for attachment and I love his dancing. Also had a blast watching Yezgani dance. New appreciation for him, even though I already loved him. His enthusiasm and cheerfulness just shine through his dancing! Will definitely spend more time with him this term. And, most exciting bit for last…. They played a Justin Beiber song! Let’s be completely clear here…. I do NOT like Beiber and never listened to him in the US. It just tickled me pink that his music had made it to Malawi, so of course Laura and I sprang up to sing and dance. Looks of confusion all around from the Malawians, but Hope graciously let it play even though they normally would’ve skipped it :)

I’ve also made two new friends at MIRACLE which I’m pretty jazzed about. I love the MIRACLE staff, but they do slip into vernacular a lot more often than the Chaminade teachers, so it tends to be a lot quieter on my end. On that note, though, eating lunches at school has really helped! There’s still a lot of silence, but they’re getting good at slipping side comments to us. And it’s only made me love being there even more! Ok, back to the new friends though. The first is Dickson, the new bricklaying instructor. We bonded during group work during a stupid workshop conference that we had to go to. He seems to be fun, so I’m looking forward to that. The second new friend, I’m especially thrilled about because she’s a woman! Now, I must explain. It’s proven rather more difficult to bond with women here than men. Part of this is language barriers (as their English is minimal and my own Chitumbuka fails after a few sentences) and the other is confidence/cultural norms (I’m guessing). Most of the women simply are not going to make the move to have a good long chat. So most of our relationships consist of “Hey! How’s it going?” It’s easier with the MIRACLE women, but they’re older and live off campus. The Chaminade teachers’ wives are younger and near but they are mainly the ones I’m talking about communication-wise. Anyways, it’s proven difficult. BUT Laura and I have forced our friendship :) on Envy, my fellow librarian and daughter to Mr. Nyondo, one of the Chaminade teachers. And she’s 24. Perfect friend to have! We’ve never chatted much, but it’s pretty awesome because she’s opening up more and we’re loving it. Talked her into coming with us to Gondwe’s shop and had a great time chatting along the walk. She’s just fabulous, so I’m hoping it works out! It’d be nice to have a woman friend around who’s my age once Laura’s gone.

P.S. – Stole little Vitu again on our walk. This time he greeted us with a huge smile. His mother waved us goodbye as he trotted along holding both of our hands. Love him. Alas he got in trouble when we dropped him off because he refused to leave us. So maybe we’ll only stop to get him earlier in the day when we can actually wander with him long enough to make him tired and complacent.

After this highly fabulous day, Laura and I settled down for a relaxing evening. Banda came over while I was bucket-bathing and so Laura entertained him. Came out to him peeling the sun-burned skin off of Laura’s back, sharing in her delight when they managed to pull off a large section intact. Two people after my heart. Although not gonna lie, it did seem a little strange :) So we spent quite a while in that pursuit although I put the veto on the back action lol. I just kept thinking how utterly horrified Mum would be if she knew we were doing that in front of Banda. He, however, was not grossed out at all. It’s times like these when I’m grateful for Malawians’ blasé attitude. Laura and I were horrified by our peeling appearances. But everyone we met just had the comment of “Oh, it’ll be fine in some days.” What will be will be I suppose and no use worrying about something silly!

Had a fabulous wakeup call at 6:30. Normally I would be grouchy about this, but it was Kelvin, so no problem! He wanted to say goodbye to us since he was leaving for attachment (internship) and won’t be back until July. So sweet – I will really miss that kid!

We had our first solo trip to town on Saturday morning. Banda was going to come with us but we made a last minute decision to get dropped off by Paul instead of waiting for the school car. This turned out to be a great choice since it gave us more time and it was actually nice to do it on our own. Sink or swim baby. And I’m so proud of us! We handled it very well! Got everything we needed at the right prices and enjoyed ourselves along the way. Saw several of the attachment students which was nice since I’d missed out on saying goodbye to most of them. Also visited the bank to see my friend. Was telling Laura how attractive he was, without noticing that he was standing right in front of us. Stupid Saturdays when he doesn’t have to wear his distinctive uniform :) Finished all of our shopping with plenty of time to spare so we plopped down in front of some shops to wait for the school truck to arrive, from which we would get our ride home.

Spent a good hour or so drinking minerals and befriending an adorable toddler and later a baby. Pretty sure many adults think we’re strange because we get such a kick out of kids. Also had a great time with Sume. Sume is a girl in town who has developmental issues, which are simply not understood here. People call her crazy and insane and treat her like crap. It breaks your heart to see, especially since all she wants is a little attention and kindness! She kept giving me hugs and laying on me… clearly she was not begging for money like everyone kept trying to tell me she was. Frustrating dealing with such ignorance. Molly, you would be happy to note that she’s looking well. I asked her if she knew Molly and Jesu but I don’t know if she knew what I was trying to say. But we spent a good long while with her, sharing rolls and laughs. Makes my heart sad to hear people yell at her and try to pull her away because they think she is bothering us despite seeing all of our smiles. I don’t think I’ve ever said “yayi” (meaning “no”) more often in an attempt to get them to leave her alone. Kept trying to explain that we knew her. My thought is that people are awful to her all day and if I can be kind to her for 1 hour than dammit, I surely will. Everyone deserves some love and attention. And we probably had as much fun as she did!

Eventually the school car arrived and we piled in. Stupid Chaminade boys scrambled in first, leaving a very awkward opening for myself to climb up. I would’ve made it though if someone hadn’t thought I needed an extra push. This push caused me to tumble head first into some boy’s crotch, with Laura and Kalua frantically grabbing my bottom and shirt (respectively thank god) to try to steady me. Pretty sure I jammed my thumb. Love the foolishness in front of a carload of people and god knows how many onlookers. :) The ride home was certainly interesting. Laura ended up sitting on my lap so that everyone could fit (Molly, I kept having flashbacks to you perched on Kalua’s lap, trying desperately not to touch each other lol. This pairing was a bit more kosher.) Laura’s foot somehow ended up wedged under the slab of beef that they’d bought for the school…. Blood all over her foot and skirt. Enough to make me retch. I don’t know how her former-vegetarian self managed to hold it together. Much love for that girl. But the important part is that we had a successful first solo town shopping experience, caught a ride home, and are looking forward to it being a weekly adventure!

Oh, my first day as a real employee rather than a volunteer! Really there’s no difference. And really the first day was very anti-climactic so I’m going to write about the second day instead :) Here in Malawi, most people don’t show up on the first day of school. In fact, many just kind of drift in over the first week, picking up whenever they come. So the first day, most of my loves were not around. Instead it was just a lot of new first-year students who I have yet to know. But the second day – oh that was lovely!! Most of my Electrical class had come so there was a whole lot of “Aahh!”s and running towards people. So many hugs and smiles, it was just wonderful. Laura kept commenting on how she wished she’d had a camera to capture the joy. I wish she did too. Although it undoubtedly would’ve been knocked from her hands too as a handful of students also scooped her up into hugs :) Oh MIRACLE students, gotta love ‘em! Equally as exciting was that the (now) 3rd year students who will be leaving for attachment also reported on the second day. It was simply fabulous because it appears that most of this year’s favorites are in that grade, although it did make me realize just how much I’m going to miss the likes of Kelvin, Mphatso, and Elijah while they are off being interned!

However, in keeping with the joyful theme, I did receive some BEYOND amazing news! MIRACLE has begun to offer a third-year of electrical, so students can receive their Grade 1 certificate…. This means that many in my all-time favorite class will be returning for another year – Georgina, Cobby, Charity, Haslon, Ganizani, Chimwemwe and hopefully the rest! Oh how happy that makes my heart :) Reunited and it feels so goooood lol. Let’s so how much work I get done now with them around. Georgina was the only one around that first day, but that was just fine with me because we got to sit out on the porch with her and chatter away just like old times. Cannot wait to see them all again.

In other news, my skin is transforming thanks to that awful sunburn. We got what Laura termed “elephant skin” aka it became all taut and wrinkly across our foreheads. A perpetual frown basically. We felt like Vitu. While her’s is still like this, mine advanced more quickly, turning a dark shade of brown and then beginning to peel off in sheets. Laura figures it’s just me turning Malawian… half black, half white :) Haha so many gems from that girl. Anyway, so yes there was at first just a white splotch of my forehead where it peeled but as the day progressed there was actually a distinct line of black and white. Awwwwesome. I tried my best not to mess with it, but let’s be honest. Also splotchy are my chin and nose and today we can add my cheeks to the mix. I’m pretty sure people must think I have a disease or something. But oh well, a few days from now it should clear up and I’ll be back to my pale self.

As a thank-you for spending 3 hours guiding us through the marketplace and explaining all of the prices to us, Laura and I decided to take Banda to the beach for some swimming and drinks. And it turned out to be one of the best days! I always end up counting lake days as some of the best, so that’s really no surprise! We swung through the market first to buy forgotten items (feeling bad of course for putting him through it again during his thank-you present lol), picked up some fresh rolls and headed down to Blue Beach. Fortunately the place was not so crowded, so we staked our claim of sand and immediately went running into the water. Much too hot for any delaying. Spent a long time splashing around, alternately laughing at Banda’s antis and worrying that we’d have to use our lifeguarding skills to save him. Particularly when he climbed aboard a stranger’s canoe and then jumped ship when he realized it had gone out to far. Laura said she felt like he was a Make-A-Wish kid who really just wanted to go to the lake and we were making his dreams come true :) The water was warm and calm, the children kept a respectable distance, and there were no drunken men to harass us/attempt to woo us… all in all, a lovely time! After swimming for a long while, we taught the children and Banda how to make a sand castle, a lost art here in Malawi. A little difficult without buckets, but we were able to construct a respectable castle. Made my heart happy to turn back on our way home and see a kid making his own. After spending too long in the sun, we relaxed under an umbrella, eating our picnic of peanut butter and rolls, drinking sodas, and enjoying the view. It was so clear you could see clear across the lake into Tanzania. Was overwhelmed with peace and happiness as I sat there with two of my favorite people in a town that now feels like home.

In an act of forgetfulness, neither of us thought to bring sunscreen. Result: Worst sunburn of my life. My face is bubbling and both Laura’s and my foreheads are oozing… disgusting. We are a mess. Our backs and shoulders are so burnt we can’t lift our arms and even the softest of shirts induce winces. Greeting students today was rough with all of the back-slapping and hugs. Hopefully it’ll fade within the week. We still say it’s worth it though. :)

First off, New Year’s Eve was enjoyable. There was a party on campus so I went to that. Laura was exhausted so she slept through it. The party was pretty tame. Just people sitting around listening to music. But it livened up with about an hour to go though and I had a fun time talking and catching up with people who I hadn’t seen yet during my campus wanderings. A good sign of things to come in 2011!

Upon waking up in 2011, Laura and I decided to take our first trip to Gondwe’s Shop for a cold mineral and some adorable children time. Well it turned out to be very satisfying for the first goal and a gold mine for the second!! It started off well when a 13-year-old girl named Elina sat down next to us on the bench. Now, this alone was a huge act of bravery. And then she proceeded to chatter on and on! I have never heard such fluent English from such a young person and especially (unfortunately) from a female child. It was a fabulous time and we exchanged email addresses to keep in touch while she is away at secondary school. I do hope to hear from her!

While we were sipping on our sodas, we also noticed a grumpy looking fellow lying close to us. His 3-year-old face was perpetually in a scowl, even though he was clearly interested in us. Lots of staring but no reaction to our usual smile-inducing antics. Even Chitumbuka (the vernacular language) could not coax a response from him. We were at a loss. So I decided a sneak attack was in order. Finished my mineral, walked casually past him, and then doubled back to scoop him up. He was on my lap before he knew what was going on! A few more moments passed of surliness until I opted for the last resort – tickling. And out popped his beautiful, adorable grin! And even a giggle or two. Success. After that, we were buds. Tried the horsy game (courtesy of The Cosby Show) but he was not a fan. Despite all of my questions in Chitumbuka, he remained silent. The best I got was a grunt when I asked him if we could dance together. We thought he was mute.

So after a good while of playing with him and the others and chatting with Elina, we decided to call it a day. Our little friend suddenly became braver, following and then running to hold our hands. Great excitement was had as Laura and I swung him in the air between us. His mother, in particular, thought that was hilarious. A short ways later we reached his house. “Tamala?” I asked, meaning “Are we finished?” A quick nod was what I got. So we said goodbye and started our hike up the hill to the Chaminade campus. But we soon realized that he was hustling after us, just as fast as his little three year old legs could carry him. I would like to note that this is a huge feat – I’m usually worn out by the time I get to the top of the hill! So we stopped and waited for him, where he regrabbed our hands and contentedly trotted along. We figured we’d bring him as a present for Banda. Might I note here, how much I LOVE that in Malawi it is totally acceptable to wander off with someone else’s child. No one freaks out. Everyone knows that they’ll be taken care of and will return when they’re hungry or tired. Love it. So anyways, we wander down Zimbabwe Line. Passersby asked me where I got a child. To which I respond, “Meet my son, Vitu.” (We’d previously learned of his name – meaning Blessings - courtesy of his chattier friends.) Funny, no one seemed to see a resemblance.

We made it to Banda’s palace, where I swung Vitu into my arms and presented him. Banda turned out to be the right person to visit because the four of us sat happily on his porch with Vitu on my lap and listened as Banda asked a steady stream of questions and finally managed to crack his quietness. Heard all about his family and his school and was charmed as he counted to 10: “1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 2, 1.” Too freaking cute. Of course I was in love by this point. Especially when he said that he wanted to come live with me. And I am proud to report that I actually understood most of the conversation. Go me – having the Chitumbuka vocabulary of a 3 year old! After a good hour, Vitu started to fall asleep on my lap, so we swung him onto my back and carried him back down the hill to his house. Banda came with us so we could tell his mum how much we enjoyed him and that we’d be back again for another visit. Although knowing Vitu’s persistence and endurance, he might just show up at Banda’s door one day and get escorted to us. Laura’s said she’s going to teach him the way to MIRACLE so he can come visit her and be her play date while I work. :) Not going to lie, one of my best moments in Malawi. Just another reason why I love this place – the freedom to make friends with random children!

So it’s time to dust off this blog and start up again! Posts will probably be a bit different now. Everyone is knowing my job by now, so no more need to describe everyday life. Instead I’ll probably just post when anything exciting / big happens. Probably more interesting that way any way :)

Laura and I left the US the day after Christmas. Of course it didn’t go smoothly. But we did laugh our way through 95% of it so that was good.

Some questions you might be wondering about our adventures:

How many pounds can Alyson cram into 2 suitcases?

More than is allowed. But NOT 107. As is not surprising since I was packing up my whole life, I went over by about 30 pounds. For one heart-stopping moment, the man told me my bag weighed 107 pounds!! Until I realized that his idiot coworker was resting his foot on the scale. Dial that back 50 pounds. Nevertheless, it was too much, so I had to buy an extra bag and spend 30 minutes repacking and anxiously reweighing everything and a $200 extra baggage fee. Ridiculous. Casualties from this hasty reshuffling: My picture frames. Laura’s bug spray.

Is Velvetta still good after it’s been doused with bug spray for 48 hours?

Hopefully. In Africa, probably.

Whatever happened to free-spirited gallivanting around the world without any itinerary?

Well the government is trying to squash it apparently :) Upon arriving at the airport and attempting to check in, we were informed of new legislation that says that the airline can’t check you in for an international flight if you don’t have a return ticket/a ticket proving you’re leaving that country. WTF mate? So after 2 hours of frantic phone calls and me sitting on the floor with an increasingly painful stomach ache, Laura’s parents fabulously pulled through with a return ticket for her. I was fine since I have a work permit. The worst part was that after all of that… not one single person at the following check points (Ethiopian Airlines, Malawi Customs) even asked or cared about said return ticket. Fail for United Airlines check-in man (who I was about ready to pummel) and government legislation.

Was it snowing in Chicago?!?!

Yes!! Oh it just made it all so fabulously Christmasy. Clearly we’ve been cheated in Texas, people. The wonderful, amazing Molly Heineman graciously picked us up at the airport (after we spent a long time staring in wonder at the light installation in the airport ¬– Laura said think Mario Brothers rainbow part at the end?). We traveled with her to her apartment which was so adorable. She lives on a great street that reminded us of “You’ve Got Mail.” So jealous that she gets to live there everyday. Went out for a drink at her aunt’s restaurant and had a great time just chatting and catching up. Oh how I’ve missed her so much!! And then we went back to her place and got to PLAY IN THE SNOW! Oh it was epic. Snow angels, snow balls, games, throwing snow in the air, making snow art on cars. And then like any good mother she warmed us up with some hot chocolate, blankets, and a bagel. :)

What time did we get to Chicago’s airport?

4:00. GROAN.

Is it annoying listening to high schoolers scream Bible Trivia throughout the airport waiting area and even more annoying when said kid is seated next to you and able to sleep for 8 hours straight on the flight?

Yes.

How much did I sleep?

In two whole days of traveling? About 5 hours. Was at the point where I was nauseous from exhaustion. For 3 straight days.

Food poisoning anyone?

Why yes airline food, thank you. Pretty sure I got food poisoning since I ended up with awful sickness during the first plane ride with them. This continued until… well it’s still happening. Let me tell you, traveling across the world is not fun when you are sleep-deprived, nauseous and sick. It was a rough few days.

What do two girls look like when they’re sprinting down the airport hallway?

Idiots, I’m sure. Our flight in Ethiopia landed after our flight to Malawi started boarding. A good 20 minutes after actually. So we had to run to catch it, literally. Luckily there were people cheering us on the whole way. All that was missing were some water and towel stations. But we made it.

How happy was I to be back?

So happy. Got a little misty eyed a few times, not gonna lie.

Was Taxi Peter there to pick us up from the airport?

Yes, thankfully. He packaged us into the car and took us to Mabuya Camp where Johnnie was there to greet us and we got to have spaghetti and meatballs (!) and a fabulous shower and nap. Bliss. Crashed at 7. Woke up at 3 am. Fail.

Bus or taxi?!

Well considering we had 8 bags between us…. we bit the $300 bullet and went for the taxi. And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. Worth every penny. I cannot imagine how stressful that would have been to navigate 2 bus depots with all the bags and keep an eye on them throughout. Plus that meant we could get food when we wanted, didn’t have to stay overnight in Mzuzu, my sickness was not worsened by the heat and the length in time, AND we got to Karonga a day early, thus surprising everyone. Good call. I don’t think I would have made it on the bus.

Who was the first person I saw?

Paul. Never been so excited to see that man lol. And BEAMS! Not gonna lie, pretty stoked about that because he was gone the last few months of our volunteer year and he had told me he would miss me since he was leaving again on the morning I was supposed to come. So I was bummed. But since we came early, I got to see him! So fabulous. First teacher: Banda. As it should be lol. Great excitement ensued of course.

Was there water and electricity to greet us?

Of course not. Lol thanks a lot universe. Too much to ask for. Fortunately the Brothers were kind enough to give us some buckets of water and some candles so we were set for the night. Apparently the water has been out for a few days… hoping it’ll come back soon! Oh Malawi, it’s good to be home.

How did we spend our first night in Karonga?

Visiting! After finding Banda, we continued on to Zimbabwe Line (teachers’ housing) to chat with everyone. Greeted Madames along the way which was great fun – I foresee more relationships with them in the future. And met… a NEW MADAME!! (Really that emphasis is just for Molly). Kaunda got married!!! Rather upset that I missed the wedding, but his wife is just utterly adorable. And I think she understands English pretty well, which bodes well for our future interactions. Kalua? Nowhere to be seen. Typical. Left without seeing him since we were invited to dinner with the Brothers. Had a great time talking with them of course, hearing all the news and changes. Laura had her first Cherry Plum which she loved, although probably not as much as I enjoyed being reunited with it. :) General agreement amongst us and the Brothers that it does in fact taste like cough syrup, Molly. Afterwards we went back over to see Kalua but he had relatives over so while he was escorting them home, we went to Banda’s house to hang out. Pretty sure that was a blast. Oh how I’ve missed that kid. So much. Perfect first night – could not have asked for anything more to make my heart happy about being here. Finally got tired after a couple of hours, so we went home to sleep. Checked in on the staff TV room on the way home and wanna guess who was there?! Kalua. Gee one would think after 5 months away, he might actually want to see me? How do you say “I told you so” in Chitumbuka? :)

Were the volunteers a bit spoiled?

Resounding yes. At 5:00 am when I woke up, I had a freak out moment of “Oh my god, we don’t have Alick and Vicki around to collect water for us and boil it and cool it… I need to do this myself.” And just the fact that the volunteers had a water tank, so even if water went out for a couple of days, we’d usually have enough of a reserve to keep us going until it came back. But here, no tank! So it’s constant checking and hoping that water is coming. So yes, I got up at that ridiculous hour and started carrying buckets of water back and forth to our house. Then carried the stove over and borrowed a pot. By that point, I’d woken Laura up accidentally. She helped me carry the refrigerator over. And an hour or so later, we had drinking water. Albeit, hot water. But water nonetheless. I also just feel like I have to be productive all the time now. Maybe it will get better once initial set-up is done (like washing all of the new cooking purchases) and we have a schedule (for water boiling and bean cooking and such). But for now it seems like I’m just scrambling to think of everything far enough in advance so that it will be ready in time.

Did I miss the chimbuzi (pit latrine)?

No, not at all. But we’re becoming friends again. At least this one doesn’t have a bat like the last one. A little less threatening of an experience now. But it also doesn’t have a door, so that’s kinda weird.

How are the dogs?

Well, SPECIAL perked up the second she saw me get out of that taxi and has not been able to sit down since due to excitement. She has been loyal as always, following us everywhere and waiting outside for us to be finished. I’ll take good care of her, Molly, and love on her! I have updated her on your life :) Suzie is still alive against all odds. Have not been able to love on her as much since Special is always butting in. Lol. Teteza, as I knew, had been killed due to her chicken-murdering ways. So that’s sad. It seems weird to see Special trotting along without her buddy. PJ too also met his end. Also sad. He was a good pup with his mismatched ears. But apparently he got really sick with limping and rashes and craziness involved. Poor dog.

How’d the first trip into town go?

Well, I kind of cheated here a bit. But I think it was a smart move. I never did the shopping in the volunteer house. I was always teaching, so Matt and Chris always did it (many thanks, guys!!). So I don’t know how much things in the market are supposed to cost and I was just feeling very overwhelmed about the whole idea. I was going to have Vicki come with us to kind of orient us but she was working, so I asked Banda instead. And that boy was wonderful. He spent 3 hours taking us EVERYWHERE and getting everything on my ridiculously long shopping list and telling us all the prices so we could write it down and carrying stuff for us. And not complaining one time. So much love. I felt really bad about it all but as Laura noted when we dropped him off finally that he seemed like he had a great time and hadn’t wanted to go home. So yes, we got all of the basics that we will need for our house. Spent more money than I want to think about, but in the future trips should be cheap since we will really only need vegetables. Awesome. And I’m so grateful because now we know the prices so next time we can go in with a mission and it won’t be as stressful.

Have I decided who I’m going to marry?

About 1 hour into being back, yes. No doubt lol. Get ready for a wedding, folks.

So, in conclusion, am I happy to be back? Yes. Of course. I wish there was water – a shower and some drinking water would be great! Do my shoulders and ankles ache from hauling water back and forth and from navigating the marketplace all day? Undoubtedly. BUT my heart is also very happy to be back with my people here. Laura has noted already how I’ve completely blossomed. Wait until she sees me at MIRACLE lol. And as I was moving buckets after lunch today, it just hit me that I like this kind of life. I always said I should have grown up during “Little House on the Prairie” time. There’s something so satisfying about having to work for stuff. Sure it sucks sometimes, but overall, it’s just peace-giving to me, oddly enough. Like Chris always said, a dinner cooked over the fire just seems more satisfying than one cooked on the stovetop.

PS – Laura is doing well. I’m very proud of her thus far! It can’t be easy but she’s doing great rolling with everything. She says she feels like she’s at camp – only it’s a much more exciting place :)

So remember a long time back I raised a whole bunch of money for my Library Project? Well now is the time to use it… on shipping. I know this sounds like a drag, but I really believe it’s going to be fantastic!

So why is this money being spent on shipping? Originally when I went over to Malawi, I figured I’d just order the books over there. But I soon realized that there are very few book distributors in Malawi (2 to my knowledge) and they deal mainly in government-curriculum books. Clearly I want our library to be stocked with a wide array of literature, so that wasn’t going to work! So I began looking online at places in South Africa, figuring that they’d have a better selection and shipping wouldn’t be soooo bad. Well I was wrong. The books themselves are very expensive and so was shipping. SO I’ve decided that it would be much more cost effective to do book drives here in the States and then ship the books on an ocean freighter to Africa. Even though this in itself is costly, I’ll be able to send thousands of gently-loved books for the same price that only a thousand would cost in Malawi.

And this is where ya’ll come in! I’m collecting books to send. New or gently-loved are totally fine.

Two community libraries will be the main recipients. I’ll be there in Malawi to handle all of the distributions to make sure that the books actually go to the right people! Both projects were initiated by community members and will be completely managed by locals (after a little organizing help from myself since they don’t have the whole Dewey Decimal System knowledge). Such community involvement is vital since it means 1. We know there is a true need and desire for the library and 2. The building and books will be well taken care of over the years, rather than falling into disrepair after I leave.

M.I.R.A.C.L.E. Technical College (where I work as a librarian and fundraiser – and have been for the last year) will also be a side benefactor. We already have plenty of fiction, philosophy, history, government, and political books. What we really need are trade books! Because we have none even though we are a trade school… that has no textbooks. I have lost count of how many times students have asked me when the school will make trade books available to them. So if we get any technical books, those will go to M.I.R.A.C.L.E.

What kind of books should you send?

- Children’s books

- Young adult books – Remember that even high school kids in Africa are still English-as-a-Second-Language speakers. Most are fluent… but simpler young adult books would still be a better fit for them than, say, Dickens or Woolf. :) I joke... Obviously, "classics" will still be greatly appreciated! But still, Harry Potter and Twilight seem to be roaring successes over there just like they are here.

- Technical books – about the following trades:

o Electrical (basic wire work, machinery, etc.)

o Carpentry

o Hotel & Catering (includes culinary, restaurant service, hotels, housekeeping, tourism)

o Tailoring

o Welding

o Agriculture

o Bricklaying

- African literature – It’s a shame that in all of my cataloging at M.I.R.A.C.L.E., I came across very few African-centered resources. These could include fiction, history, sociology, political. Anything really.

- Science books – These are always wanted by students to serve as secondary resources for their classes, mainly Biology and Applied Sciences (related to electricity or engineering).

- Religious books – Again, always a crowd pleaser within Malawi’s very religious society. Bibles are one of our most frequent requests.

- English grammar books – Helpful for those who are trying to improve their English.

- HIV/AIDS information – Unfortunately, there’s never enough literature on such a prevalent topic… and even worse, what we do have is usually biased and border-line offensive/fear-inducing. It’d be nice to be able to offer more effective resources.

If you’re interested in helping me out, send me a message at alysonyoungpeter@yahoo.com and I will get back to you about how we can pick up/drop off books. If you live anywhere close to me, odds are I’d be more than willing to swing by and pick them up! I’ll be around until the end of December, although I’ll probably stop collecting in early December so I can manage all of the packaging and shipment details before I go back to Malawi.

If you work at a school (or have a friend who does) and would be interested in making this a classroom project, feel free! I’d be more than willing to come talk to the kids or make flyers, etc.

Thanks for all of the support thus far!

Sorry it’s been forever since I’ve posted… life has been a whirlwind here lately with all of the traveling and my parents coming. So I’m going to do those short updates about cool things, which I actually like better anyway :)

So thanks to the Word Cup mania here, my days for the last couple of weeks have pretty much looked like this…. Library work, teaching computer, football after school, home for supper, football after supper, collapsing in bed from exhaustion. Literally every day. Fortunately I’ve been having a great time watching so much football with the Chaminade teachers – lots of joking around now that I’m an accepted member of the group and we’ve really had some fun times!

Other fun moments:

- Watching the Chaminade teachers play football against the students. This happens every few months and is always a source of great entertainment, since the students are always way more talented and fitter. Fun times watching the balls go through their legs and laughing as they faked injuries just like the professional soccer players :)

- We’ve had some great meals lately, courtesy of Callaghan. He’s bought meat for us a couple of times and we’ve had a grand time barbequing it up… made kabobs over the fire and even had hamburgers one night! Yum! As usual, the sitting around the fire together was even more enjoyable than the awesome food.

- Chris and Callaghan went to town one day for shopping (I had to teach) and came home a little bit worse for the wear after they decided to stop at the airport to buy some beer for that night.. and ended up staying there for a couple of bottles. Oh man, I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard as Chris tried to ride Jeff’s bicycle… with the chain broken… and thus just spun the wheels really fast while trying to stay upright. Also great as Callaghan lit a match and lifted up his hands before realizing that he had forgotten to actually put a cigarette in his mouth.

- Had a really fun night in with Kat and Ily… started off with a little community gathering in the boys’ room (a place I usually avoid lol). The girls stayed to eat dinner with us and then we watched a ridiculous collection that the boys bought in town called “Sex of the Animals.” Can you believe they had that in good old conservative Karonga?! So of course the boys had to pay the $2.50 to see what it was. Really just turned out to be a bunch of nature programs spliced together… but it was funny to have that experience. Also watched Robin Williams together. Good times with the girls who we often miss since they stay off campus!

- Dugan arrived too! Dugan used to be a volunteer here (maybe 2 years ago? He was here for the first few months of Matt and Molly’s time) and has returned to travel and see the Chaminade boys’ graduation. It has been awesome having him around… it’s always nice to have a new presence in the house and he’s a pretty cool kid.

- I’ve loved computer class with the Hotel & Catering 2 students lately because they’ve all moved on to Microsoft Word. This means I don’t just get to sit anymore but actually have to teach new skills the whole time, but I’m fine with that because it’s fun to see them advancing! Had a great proud moment with Kelvin as he vastly exceeded my expectations in his computer abilities – could’ve hugged him if it weren’t culturally taboo!

- Have also had some great times during weekly cleaning with my Electrical I class. We have a shortage of cleaning supplies here at Miracle so really – after a short search for supplies – we usually just end up standing around and talking. Good times teasing that group. I’ve also really enjoyed watching the Miracle soccer games during our entertainment time. They’re such a hoot as they traipse around with the drum, supporting their classmates, and running onto the field after goals. I, myself, am predictably calmer and prefer to just sit and chat with my faves. :)

- We distributed all of the books (maybe about 2,000?) that I withdrew from the library months back… these are the books where there are like 40 copies of each, which we simply don’t need. I was a little perturbed at first because the books were supposed to go to various schools around Karonga, but my attitude changed as I saw how excited our students were. Seeing them walking home with bags and boxes of books just made me tear up and love my job. Even typing it now makes my heart swell. So I know some of those books will likely not be used the way I’d hoped (namely they’ll become kindling or toilet paper) but I’ve heard several students talking about sharing the books with their communities and setting up their own little personal-lending libraries. Couldn’t ask for much more than that! That truly was a great afternoon.

- We’ve also had some fun Planet K.A. times. Went to watch football games there a couple of times and ended up dancing away with Chris. Always fun to let loose and he’s a ham-of-a-dancer so it’s entertaining to watch as well. Kat, Ily, and Paul came by later in the evening so (after recovering from the shock of seeing Paul on the dancefloor) we danced a couple songs and then got a ride home from them, complete with our ritual star-gazing. That’s something I’ll definitely miss when I go back to the States… the stars here are just indescribable. Absolutely breathtaking.

- Have caught up on my Dr. Who viewing thanks to the internet. Whoot. Still miss 10 but I do rather enjoy Matt Smith.

- I had a major breakthrough in becoming a Malawian woman the other day (just kidding, but seriously)! I cooked nsima over the fire by myself for the first time! This was a pretty big deal since it’s the staple food here, but since we have 2 lovely cooks 6 days a week, there’s not much incentive for us to cook nsima on their off day. So I was pretty excited about preparing nsima for the boys – Chris and Callaghan – along with greens (basically boiled spinach-type stuff) for lunch! It went okay… had some “oh crap” moments as I had kind of forgotten Alick’s instructions and ended up with a bunch of flour lumps and then it wasn’t thick enough so I had to add more flour too late. Bah. But eventually I got it looking and tasting like nsima. The consistency was a bit off – not as smooth – but I think I just need some practice! Was pretty proud of myself though. Had a lovely picnic lunch outside around the fire pit and then relaxed, listening to Chris’ guitar playing while Callaghan scrubbed his clothes. A perfect Malawian afternoon.

- Molly and Matt finally came back from the World Cup! Really they were only gone for 11 days but the house was definitely quiet without them. So it’s great to have them back and have our community whole again.

- Had a (semi-obnoxious, ok I lied, very obnoxious) showing of American spirit during the USA game… I tried to fade into the background but alas I was there as we went to the airport with a couple of Peace Corps volunteers to watch one of the football games. It was actually really fun sitting there and being goofy with Ily and Chris (instead of watching the game) but couldn’t help but be overwhelmed as the others broke beer bottles and jumped up screaming. Sigh. This is why people love Americans. Did have a fun feast afterwards of hamburgers and sausage.

- Had a farewell dinner with Kat and Ily and they cooked…… SPAGHETTI and MEAT SAUCE! Oh it was amazing. Like being at home lol. Also had a fun evening with them of whiskey pong, at which I performed much better than the first time thank you very much.

- Probably one of my favorite parts about these last couple of weeks. I met this really awesome kid (and by kid, I mean he’s 28) named Johnnie who works at Mabuya, the lodge we stay at in Lilongwe. Had some fun times as he showed Molly and me how to use an awesome crank nutcracker. And then when I went down to pick up my family, he was definitely the one of the highlights of a stressful trip. Especially since he was just so very calm in the midst of all the loud Nkhata Bay friends who were around me… that was great. So I left thinking that I wanted to be friends with that kid. Since then, have had an awesome week of texting questions back and forth, getting to know each other and talking about things that I haven’t even discussed with my friends here who I’ve known for 11 months. And then when I went back a week later to drop the family off at the airport, again it was just really nice to sit and talk… especially since I was sick and not really looking for any drinking or partying (basically all the Nkhata Bay boys know how to do). SO! I’m pretty thrilled that I’ve met him, although sad that 1. He lives freaking 14 hours away by public bus and 2. I’m leaving so soon after meeting him. Quickly became one of my favorite people here though… feels like I’ve known him a lot longer than 2 weeks!

Not so fun moments, but still important moments:

- Had to say my first goodbye to someone that I truly adore… Brother Beams. He was leaving early to go to Nairobi and France, we had to part ways earlier than anticipated. Oh that was a hard one. Not my first goodbye, but my first one for someone who I just love dearly. Beams has always been my favorite and when Molly makes me pick who are the “Top 3 People I’ll Miss,” Beams is always there. So I wasn’t looking forward to parting with him at all, but we had a nice chat, a good hug and I walked away crying of course. Chris put in a valiant effort to comfort me, treating me to one after another of his guitar songs while I curled up on the couch and had my therapeutic cry. Not looking forward to the coming month that will be full of difficult goodbyes.

- I’ve been sick a lot lately… not sure what’s going on with my body these days. Had a couple of days a while back where I didn’t even get out of bed. And then I was sick for the whole week of my parents’ visit and still am. Let me tell ya, being sick in Africa is not a fun experience between the heat and the days-long transportation issues and the homesickness that inevitably ensues. Molly also got malaria really bad and Chris was sick too for a few days… poor Matty having to run around like a mother hen, taking care of all of us at once!

- My fellow librarian has left Miracle. Now, I may have had my moments of being frustrated with him, but I am genuinely sad that he won’t be around anymore, since he really was a sweet man. Plus the library will just be in shambles during the 5 months that I’m gone because they won’t open it unless I’m there. So that sucks for the students too.

- Kat and Ily left Karonga. For good. Oh the house is starting to disperse. So strange. I’m still in denial a little bit.

Tuesday was a pretty standard day… a couple of hours spent in the library doing call numbers and then some computer classes. Enjoyed a good moment with Molly as she came in and told me about her crazy dream that she had about her trying to save me from Nazis. Also had fun after work as I went to sit in the summer hut, just in time for the grand performance of two of Chaminade’s finest dramatists… Misters Kalua and Banda. The latter claimed to have hurt his foot, thus resulting in lots of moaning, inspecting, and even Kalua carrying him in his arms like a little child. Invited the two of them and Kaunda to come along with us to Nkhata Bay for my birthday. I’m not sure if they’ll come (money and time and all that) but I’m hoping they do since I’d love to have my favorite people around for my birthday. :) Had a nice night with the community, eating pizza while watching “Amistad,” a wonderful movie that we’ve been craving for months.

Wednesday was pretty great. Spent all day in the library, complete with 2 visitors, namely Chris and Callaghan. Chris even read aloud a while from Paradise Lost. Also went to take some pictures with the Hotel & Catering 2 class which was really fun… they get all excited when a camera comes around so I’ve got some cute ones now to remember them by! After school Chris and I went over to Kat’s and Ily’s place to “shop.” A.K.A. I’m buying a lot of their things for when I come back to Malawi so I had to check everything out. Had a lovely walk there; Chris decided to play 21 questions so there was a lot more talking about myself than usual. Fortunately halfway there we got a ride from Paul which is always a treat. And once we got to the girls’ place, it was like going to grandma’s house – we were instantly put on the couch and given homemade cookies and cold water. Fantastic! Figured out everything that I’m buying and then Chris and I took the hike home in the dark, sans flashlight since I no longer have a phone and didn’t think to bring a flashlight. :) But we made it and had a fun time in the process! Got back just in time for dinner with the Brothers. Sat with Beams (a blast of course) and enjoyed having 2 cakes in honor of Molly’s birthday!

Chris, Callaghan and I took Matt and Molly to the bus depot on Thursday morning for their journey to South Africa for the World Cup. Had a lovely time in town, shopping for chitenjes which was unsuccessful but I did end up with an awesome Chelsea bracelet and some nail polish. Also shared a mineral with the boys and went to Macro for our regular HIV testing. Came back to Miracle and assembled a new list of call numbers to print – pretty exciting that I’m on my second round of printings. Power was gone for quite a while after lunch so I got to hang out in the summer hut and then had a short class with Home 2 after it came back. Returned to campus again to have some quality time with each Electrical I student. Miss them a lot lately since I’ve had other responsibilities that draw me away. So it was nice to walk around the whole class room and see each of them. Nice quiet evening at home too – dinner and “Annapolis” with Chris.

Friday was mix of really awful and really amazing….more of the latter though so I guess I’ll take it! There wasn’t any power for most of the day, so I didn’t have to teach computer. Normally this would make me happy since I just got to hang out in the summer hut with the other teachers, but it also gave the Electrical 2 class an opportunity to call a meeting with me. I knew going in it was going to be bad because they only ask for meetings when they want to complain about something. So this time it was that I named some of them as rulebreakers the week before because they did not turn off the computers when I asked them to. I’m sorry, but I’m sick of having to walk around the room for 10 minutes having to hassle each individual to turn them off. I’m their teacher for crying out loud. I should ask once and that should be it. The other classes don’t seem to have a problem with it, but then again this particular class has been a problem for not only myself but multiple other teachers this term too. So I shouldn’t be surprised. They were also upset that I didn’t let them clean the lab but requested another class. Again, I’m sorry but I’m not going to supervise them when the day before they got kicked out of the library for not cleaning. And based on previous experiences, it was pretty much a guarantee that they would spend the time hassling me about listening to music and using the computers rather than actually working. ARGH. So I explained this to them but of course this class doesn’t really want to talk. They want to argue. Their minds are made up and they simply don’t listen to anything contrary to their opinion. It’s certainly not the whole class. There are a few that I love dearly and more who I have no problem with. Only a few. But unfortunately these are the loud few. But eventually the ones I adore put an end to it, saying that I’d already answered their charges and it was time to go. Now I know I was perfectly justified in my reasons and that based on their disrespectful interactions with other teachers as well, I shouldn’t be bothered. But oh I was. Ended up sobbing hysterically in the computer room for awhile. It really is times like those that I question being here, giving up a year of my life with people I love and putting up with people taking advantage of me in ways I never would at home. And yet this is not appreciated but instead they just feel as if they’re entitled to more. More computer time, specifically. And if I have the audacity to say “no” because there simply is no time in the school schedule, well then clearly I’m just a terrible, heartless human being. Argh it’s just maddening.

Was pretty grateful by this point that the power was off since it gave me some time to go home and pull myself together. Got a grip on the crying and then went off to find a favorite teacher or two to talk to in an effort to brighten my day. Found Kalua which was nice since he’d wanted a hug earlier and I had to refuse based on propriety’s grounds. But after all of that drama I was pretty ready to forget social norms and just feel wrapped up and calm. Alas my sense of propriety won (of course it did) but he was still very helpful in making me feel better. Took a walk with me and asked to hear all about it and not surprisingly understood and had some good words of encouragement. Also helped that the Home Management 2 students showed up for their class despite the power outage so we got to joke around for a few minutes. And just like that I was reminded that my love for Miracle students is so much greater than my dislike of a few.

Since there was no power for computer class anyways, I decided to join the others in a mid-morning walk to Gondwe’s for a mineral. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Chris, Callaghan, Kat, Ily, and even the new Brother Innocent came along, so it was a grand time. Plus it was just what I needed – a little time away from campus with a cold Cherry Plum – to resettle and get my head back on straight. Arrived back at Chaminade in time for my last computer class, which we had for about 10 minutes before the power went away again. It’s been really bad lately… not sure why. Callaghan thinks they’re sending all the power to South Africa for the World Cup :)

After my crappy morning I decided that I probably shouldn’t be around Miracle or I was liable to blow up at the next person who tried to pressure me into doing something for them or giving them something. And this happens at least 10 times a day so that wasn’t good. Decided to just walk over with Chris and Callaghan to grab some of the students’ notebooks, so I could grade their compositions at home.

After the school day was over, I headed over to the staff room to watch the World Cup games. Found Allan there and sent him back to Miracle :) and then had a nice time watching the match. Am really grateful that the World Cup will be on for a month because it gives me a social life again!

Had a great supper – Callaghan brought over a bunch of meat to thank us for letting him crash there that night – which Alick prepared into a jerky like substance. Sounds strange but it was really good! Hung out on the porch afterwards waiting for the taxi to take us to Planet.

Because, that’s right, we got to go to a concert at Planet! Oh man I was so excited! Lucius Banda and Peterson were coming. Now I’m not a big Lucius Banda fan but I love Peterson aaaannnd it’s just cool to get to go to a concert of someone who’s really famous locally. And it was a marvelous time! Truly one of my favorite evenings here in Malawi!

The volunteers went in the first taxi so that the teachers who were coming to watch as much of the football game as possible. Those guys are so funny. So anyways, we got there first and after pushing our way through a crowd of rowdy, cheeky men and perched ourselves on beer crates to wait for the concert to begin. Eventually Chris and I went back to the back-bar area where the stage is to see how things were progressing. We decided almost instantly that the 700 kwacha cover charge was totally worth it, just on the grounds of our laughter as we watched the drunk men dancing/staggering to the music. Oh fun people-watching. Eventually the teachers – Kalua, Banda, Christopher, Mlotha, and Singuini – showed up so we had more people to talk to and dance with. There was a Rastafarian guy who opened at the beginning who was pretty awesome. By the end of his set I’d convinced myself that I was in love with the bass player. :) Not gonna lie, their dance moves were just awesome! You’d be impressed too by a guy who can kick him legs out and jump while playing the bass. But I digress. We were still just kind of mongering around but that Basca Basca came on… he was alright. Not as good as the first guy, but his music was easier to dance to, so we all kind of split up to dance. Chris and Callaghan ended up near the front of the stage so every now and then I’d look up and see them looking happy, dancing along. Almost died of hilarity as Duncan (that other white guy we met the last time we were at Planet) got pulled up on stage and danced around. I must say, he represented white people very well. Better dancers than most of us really are actually. I, myself, was having just a fabulous time dancing! It’s a lot easier to dance in the crowd than when you’re one of 5 people dancing in the middle of the floor. So this was great. Oh I forgot to mention that concerts here are really different from those at home. Everyone dances. Well most people I’d say. There were some on the outskirts just sitting but really it’s just a big party with live music. Awesome. So anyways, I was having a grand old time dancing with Kalua and when he disappeared to regroup in his awkward, anti-dancing way, Banda’s dancing-loving self was a great partner! Danced non-stop for the whole evening in fact! After quite awhile of dancing, Peterson finally came on and he was A-wesome! Much love for him. Had quite a few moments of being just blissfully happy as I danced around, loving the fact that I was in Africa with friends who I adore. Pretty great night. Other interesting points in the evening include: 1. Girls watching me pee. Because that’s right, there is only one toilet and no door. So normally when people see you’re there, they go “whoops” and back away to wait. Or they just start peeing in the shower that’s catty-corner to you. Either way, there’s not an audience. But this time they just stood there and giggled. I’m glad I was in a skirt lol. 2. Man trying to put his hand up said skirt/trying to pull it down. I’m not quite sure what he was going for. I turned to glare at him and say “not okay.” To which he responded so eloquently, albeit a bit slurred, “F--- you.” Well I’m sorry dude but that’s not cool. Considered slapping him but Kalua pulled me away. Probably a wise move. 3. Getting groped repeatedly. Namely whenever I dared to step away from Kalua or Banda. Normally the crowd at Planet is pretty ok. Staring yes, but they’re never aggressive. However, there were a lot of newbies there that night and most of them were pretty hammered. Fortunately, Mwambira (bike friend, library friend) saved me multiple times. Love him! So I was pretty grateful that he was around to pull me away when I couldn’t yank my arm away hard enough a couple of times. Didn’t really watch Lucius Banda perform because by that point it was almost 3:00 am and I was in the midst of rounding people up so Mwambira could (so wonderfully generously) drive us home. So happy we didn’t have to try to find a taxi. Was unsuccessful in finding a few of the teachers but they managed alright – just slept there and came home in the morning. The rest of us huddled up in the back of Mwambira’s truck and star-gazed. Got home around 4 am and crashed immediately. What a wonderful night! Full of oddities for sure but definitely one of my best times here. Just lovely to let loose and be present and enjoy the moments that I have here!

I got to spend Thursday morning with my Electrical I class which was great – between all of the driving and escorting that I’ve been doing lately, I’ve missed out on a lot of morning assemblies. So I was grateful to have that time with them. Spent the first 2 hours of my day working in the library and then had Communications class where I really just gave them an out-of-class assignment and then set them free since they all had practical (trade) work that they were working on. Fine with me since it just meant I got more library time :) Got to have lunch with Frank since he was leaving soon. Had a computer class with HM 2 after lunch which turned out to be awesome because Kelvin and Denis are starting Microsoft Word! It’s pretty exciting that someone’s finished the typing program and is moving on to the next step. Had some drama between a couple of students during cleaning time as a group of them were pulled to carry benches and didn’t like it. Had to mediate between 2 older-than-me students who are usually sweet but were just bickering this time. Oi. Hate being teacher on duty sometimes. Went home and crashed in front of the television to watch Friends with Molly. Hadn’t seen that show in a while. Thought I wasn’t going to get to go to Lupembe the next day with Jeff but Molly so kindly offered to cover my teacher on duty stuff so that I could go. Was very grateful to her for that. Also got to use a blanket that afternoon – the first of many cooler days to come – so fantastic!

Woke up early again to go to Lupembe (with Jeff this time). Unfortunately I was locked out of our main house so I didn’t even get to have breakfast so I was borderline dizzy all day. Whoops. Made a strong effort to chase the dogs away this time so they didn’t end up all the way in town again… was successful with all but the two stupidest of the bunch, Teteza and PJ. So they kind of ruined my time a bit as I had to keep yelling at them and trying to scare them off. But they lost me as I approached the hospital and got picked up by the Bank Manager – awesome! Met Jeff at the depot where we caught a minibus immediately and had one of those “well this is a terrible life decision” moments as he was driving like a maniac. Predictably, we made it to Lupembe early but Kennedy was there this time so no problem. Had some good business conversations and set up solid things that the staff needed to do for next time so that was promising. And Jeff fit in really well – he’s just a goofball but there was a lot of fun and laughter as we shared minerals and cookies, the latter of which Jeff is apparently addicted to. The INCOS guys were so cute – they went out and bought him another package of cookies for the road. Were joined by the crowd again as we went out to the road. Took some fun pictures of ourselves and then chatted until a bus came along for us to sprint after. Jumped on and ended up sitting in the conductor’s seat, which inspired some fun moments with the roadblock police as the bus driver christened myself the conductor and Jeff, his inspector. Got dropped at the junction to begin my hour walk home but luckily I got picked up shortly thereafter by the Bank Manager again! How funny (and lucky) that she found me on both parts of the journey!

Made it back in time for my computer class and then returned to Miracle after lunch for the entertainment time which happened to be a football match between the First Years and Second Years. I, of course, supported the First Years since they’re my class… although I did feel bad since I do love a handful of the Second Year players as well. Sat with Tamala and Allan the whole time which was a fun combination as Allan is just goofy and Tamala is sweet. Was tired beforehand and didn’t really want to hang around, but as usual, after some quality time with the students, I was grateful that I stayed. Since I was teacher-on-duty I had to be there for closing assembly and deal out punishments. Normally prefects write down names of rule breakers and give them to the T-O-D but not this week. I don’t know… apparently they decided to go on holiday and just didn’t inform me, the brats. So – with a little encouragement from Molly – I decided that since they broke the rules by not performing their responsibilities all week, they’d be the rulebreakers that day. The other students loved it. Did not sit so well with the prefects though who are used to just bossing others around rather than lifting a finger on their own to do some work. So they had to finish moving the benches, which of course yielded lots of griping but oh well.

Had a fun night of celebrating Molly’s birthday! Frank came over for supper which was enjoyable as always. We had plans to go to Planet afterwards so I spent the interim time sleeping…was pretty exhausted after a long day at work but felt like I had to go since it was Molly’s birthday. So dragged myself out of bed and ended up having a fun time. Danced a lot (more than I ever have before) with Molly and the others but also spent a lot of time in our outside chair circle because the boys would leave us girls and we’d instantly get swarmed by creepers, thus forcing us off the dance floor. Bah. But this outside time was nice since we got to meet Duncan, a Canadian who is working as a water engineer here. Always fun to hear new stories! We started trying to go home around 12:30 and this is where the night crashed… we had a taxi already arranged to get us, so we call him. No problem, he says he’s coming. 30 minutes pass, we call again. Still says he’s coming. 30 more minutes, we have Frank call him in vernacular. Still coming. 30 more minutes, Matt calls and the guy’s phone is turned off. So by this point it’s now 2 am so we’ve missed any other chance of getting a ride home from other Planet patrons. And we’re all pretty much just sleeping outside in the chairs now as we wait. Luckily the owner of Planet is awesome and he offered to drive us home… we just had to wait for him to find someone to cover the place in his absence. Awesome. So we move inside and I curl up on the couch to fall asleep while the others watch football. Finally he’s ready, so we pile into his car. And wouldn’t you know, we’re almost halfway home and his car breaks down. Oh.My.Goodness. This has officially become the trip from hell. Might I add that it’s freezing, so all of us are shaking with the cold and are huddled together trying to keep warm. So we just slept in the car for another 30 minutes or so until someone came to fix it. Finally made it home around 4 am. Geez louise. Times like these that I really miss having my own car and not having to depend on others!

Slept in late after that whole fiasco and then had a nice, lazy day. Watched “Gray Matters” with my housemates after lunch and then walked over to Miracle by myself since no one else wanted to go watch their football match. Hung out with Mbale for the first half which was nice, talked about his research that he’s doing about why so many marriages in Malawi fall apart. He wanted to know how Americans do it since we’re “more successful” at the marriages. Grinned at his look of shock when I told him something like 40% of American couples end in divorce. But we did have some good talks about different cultural expectations and dating practices. The game itself was pretty boring and I was uncomfortably cold (imagine that, here in Africa!) so I headed home at halftime. Just wanted to curl up in bed under my blanket and watch a movie – which I did, so my afternoon was great! Wanted some hot chocolate but only one burner on our stove works and Alick was using it… and I wasn’t motivated enough to build a fire outside. So I settled for a peanut butter sandwich :) Good day.

Sunday was equally pleasant. Washed some clothes and made grilled cheese (a real treat here!!) for lunch. Also had an interesting chat with Ily about being here in Malawi. Because I’ve loved my time here – yes certain things irritate me some days, but overall, I love this place and the people and the way of life here. And despite their feelings of frustration about certain professional issues, I believe the other volunteers spend most of their time happily. But one of the new ETHOS volunteers had a rough time at first and maybe still is most days. And Ily has had similar feelings. For a while I was just having a difficult time wrapping my mind around why he gets so upset about things like children asking you for money, people staring at you/wanting to be your friend within seconds of meeting you, people talking about you/around you in vernacular and you not understanding, and having a lot of silence interspersed with questions about America. I don’t know… to me, all of these seem like inevitable occurrences when you make the decision to travel to another country… especially one that is so different. It’s not like you’re going to Canada or Europe. You’re going to a place where 99.9% of the people can count on their hands the number of times they’ve ever seen a person with different skin color than their own, so they are going to stare. Where foreign countries have indeed come in and thrown around a lot of money and commodity aid, so children do grow up associating white with wealth. Where yes you don’t know the language and they’re going to want to learn about the U.S. And yes some of their questions will seem stupid to you but how else are they going to learn about a place where all of their existing "knowledge" comes from rap music videos and hollywood movies? So I don’t know. I had a hard time understanding why these things bother him rather than him realizing that there are decades of social and economic factors at work that we’re not going to be able to change, so why not just move past it and enjoy the beautiful things. And sure, living in the village is harder than staying on campus where everyone speaks fluent English… but you knew that going in. You requested that. So why are you spending every second of your free time here at the volunteer house? What’s the point of going to a new country if you’re just going to spend all of your time with Americans anyway? It’s like my feelings about Nkhata Bay all over again… why bother traveling somewhere outside of home if you’re just going to stay in your little comfortable group of whiteness? Talk to actual Malawians for crying out loud. But I digress. But I think in addition to these frustrations, I also feel incredibly guilty because I just don’t know what to do to help him. I feel like we were kind of put in a position of mentoring them and I, myself, had to find their housing…. So I feel crappy that it’s not going well. But I just don’t know what to do since I’ve loved my time here. Talking to Ily was good though because it helped me to realize that some people just have different personalities that determine whether or not you can live in a place like this. And I’m not saying one is better than the other. I’m just saying that some people have the personality where shit like that rolls off of you, whereas others feel the sting of differences and slights more deeply. And while chatting about this, I developed a lot more sympathy for the latter, because I realized that there are days where people just irritate me in every different cultural thing that they do. Like that one trip to town where people were laughing at me, grabbing me, asking for money. And it really is a miserable experience to have those annoyances all day and to be stuck here. So I can’t imagine feeling like that all the time. So to wrap up this long rambling thought process, I’ve reached a point where I’m eternally grateful for having the first personality most days but am more understanding of the second now. And I’m happy about that, because I do genuinely like this kid. I think he’s hilarious and awesome and it’s been great having new energy in our house. So I’m happy that I can now simply enjoy having him around us rather than being bothered by my feelings of frustration and guilt.

We tried to have a skype date with Emily that afternoon which worked for a while and it was awesome to talk to her! But then the internet died… lame. So the four of us hung out in the computer lab for a while, taking funny pictures with Molly’s Photobooth laptop app. Good times and some great pictures!

Joined Molly for the task of cooking supper – pretty basic rice and beans – and then watched “The Proposal” with everyone. Had a fun “prayer” before supper – imitating Grandma Annie from the movie and chanting/dancing around the dining room table, thanking the universe for all of its blessings. :) Went over to the Brothers’ house for a great visit with Beams after supper since he’d returned from his trip to Kenya.

Monday started off well with tea for breakfast! May sound like a little thing but I love that it’s finally cold enough here to enjoy hot tea and a warm blanket. Lovely. There’s also a new Brother, named Innocent, around so that was cool to meet him. He’s another young one and it seems like he’ll be a fun guy to have around. Pretty typical day – worked in the library for a couple of hours and then went over to Chaminade for computer lessons. Had great summer hut time! Felt like I hadn’t hung out with Kalua or Banda in a long time, so it was really nice that they had enough time to just sit and talk for a while. Also had some quality time with Mumba who’s also been scarce lately. Also got to meet the new student teachers and joke around with them about looking the same and not being able to remember their names. They seem like a good bunch of potential friends! Lol Annie, the new female teacher, was also around and turns out to be quite fun!

Banda decided to escort me back to Miracle which was just a blast. Love that guy. I think he’ll definitely be one of my top 3 in Molly’s list-making game of “Who I’ll Miss the Most When I Leave.” We had a lovely time chatting away as we walked back to Miracle, visited the library and also Molly’s office.

Did some more work in the library and then back to Chaminade again for 2 more computer classes. Carpentry students irritated me right off the bat, but then I had a fantastic class with the Tailoring 1 students so that was great! I had been nervous about them because we had to start from scratch since there were a whole bunch of new students and it was their first day. It went well though and they did a great job when I turned them loose to try it on their own. In fact, I’ve never had a class do so well on the first day!

Ran back to Miracle to be with my Electrical 1 class since I feel like I’m never around anymore. Then had a great walk home as Kelvin – one of my favorite students – and I went together since he works for the Brothers. Learned all kinds of new things about his family and his home. Always nice to have those conversations. Alick taught me how to make nsima after school since I’ll need to know that for when I come back. Planning to make it some Sunday-soon so that I can get the hang of it. Matty added pink food coloring, so we had pink nsima for supper! The Malawians must just think we’re crazy.

Spent the weekend without a computer or a phone – computer’s locked in the library for the long holiday and my phone got stolen (lame) – so I’ve felt a bit lost. Getting used to it though lol. Just laid around Saturday morning because we were going out that night so I didn’t want to get all tired and everything :)

After lunch Kennedy came over to visit which definitely brightened my day. He claimed he was coming to talk about the shared library project and details for Callaghan and Jeff’s project, but really that lasted all of 5 minutes and then we spent the next couple of hours just chatting. I think I’ve made a new friend :) Which I’m pretty thrilled about because he’s pretty fantastic. Had an awesome time chilling on the veranda, sharing stories about ourselves and our pasts, plans for our futures, and comparing views on various cultural beliefs. ‘Twas lovely.

Unfortunately we had to call it quits eventually though because I had to go track down some teachers and he had an hour and a half bike ride home ahead of him. Headed over to the Zimbabwe line (a line of teachers’ houses) to find Kalua, Banda, Kaunda and Mlotha since they had all given tentative answers about going to Planet that night and yours truly needed a head count to call for taxis. Felt a little strange invading that area since I’ve never gone over there alone before to visit them. I mean we’re friends and all but, you know, cultural expectations of gendered friendships mean that I’m not really supposed to hang out with them. And definitely not alone. So I tried to discretely slip over there but of course Banda made a scene and all of the teachers’ wives spotted me. Grimace. Ended up sitting in their little pow-wow circle with Misters Nkhata, Nyanguru and Mumba which was remarkably fun and I learned to relax a bit. Definitely grinned and felt good when Mumba told me that they’d miss me the most when we go since I’m the only one who still hangs out with them. Really love those guys!

So we did end up going to Planet K.A. that night with Kalua, Banda, Kaunda, Mlotha, and Singuini, along with Jeff and Callaghan. First time that we’ve had a bunch of Chaminade teachers with us…. So that was kinda nice. But it was also kind of overwhelming to have so many people there… everywhere you turned, there was someone. And sometimes that’s a great thing, but when you need a little re-centering time it’s rough lol. But all in all it was a nice time and I’m glad they were along. Made a conscious effort to dance more this time which was definitely the highlight. There was music going in the back-bar section this time so we were out there for quite a while since the inside area was sweltering. Molly and I had a great time dancing with Banda and Kaunda, respectively, as we paired up and had some dance-offs. Both of them were just a hoot so hopefully Kaunda will join us on future outings – he was definitely my favorite dancer of the evening and our go-to partner whenever Molly and I were craving a bit of a dance. I even busted out a new dance move. I liken it to window washing. Didn’t know I had it in me, but it was definitely a hit – that is if the laughter was with me rather than at me?! Who knows, but it was nice to just be goofy and I enjoyed myself :) Also spent a fair amount of time sitting outside in a chair circle chatting with the non-dancers and watching all of the prostitute-john negotiations. Very fascinating how those interactions go down.

Sunday was pretty low-key. Went to mass because it was in English since Father Marty was here, so that was great to actually understand church for once. Afterwards Marty came over for lunch and a chat about our experiences here, the transitioning process, and my coming back. It was all pretty fantastic since he’s been through it himself and had some good insights about each stage. A very sweet man who will hopefully be a correspondence friend to me throughout my time here!

After lunch Molly and I took a walk to Mr. Mughogho’s house to get the library keys from him so I could get my computer back since Miracle was going to be on holiday Monday and Tuesday. We weren’t exactly sure where he lived, so we went about it the Malawian way… basically get ourselves in the general area and then just ask everyone you pass. We got lucky – it only took 2 askings because we ended up at his place! He wasn’t around though but Molly had a brilliant, inspired idea. We had no paper or pen so we left a note in the dirt on his front yard. Had a great time cracking up as we used sticks to carve the message into his freshly swept dirt-lawn. Were so proud of ourselves and were definitely wishing we had a camera!

So as mentioned, Monday was a holiday… for no real reason apparently. Not that I was complaining since I love days off! Relaxed all morning and then decided that I’m going to sew my own sundress. Because Molly and I have been talking about getting one made for ages but I’m a bit wary about the tailors here – the other girls have had some disasters. Plus it would be a nice project lol :) So I spent the morning trying to find patterns online but no luck… so I just found some general instructions. I think it’ll go just fine though don’t you?! :p I’ll keep you updated. The general opinion in our house is that the first one will likely be a disaster (considering I’ve never sewn a thing in my life… small detail) but after that it’ll go just fine.

Was pretty happy that I got to accompany the gang to town for shopping since I didn’t have to work for once. Unfortunately it was one of those irritable days where just about everyone annoys you…. Not good to be in town when that happens. It started out just fine but then there was a man at the bank who decided to give me language lessons. It was okay at first but then he crossed into that line of mocking me and being rude. So that irked me. And then some stranger who was drunk grabbed my arm which spooked me a bit since Malawians aren’t usually aggressive. Others kept asking me for money and yelling at me to buy things and another woman grabbed onto me too. And then the same drunk guy later returned to leap at Molly and me and yell at us. ‘Twas just too much for frayed tolerance on a day when physical and emotional boundaries were just being ignored left and right. It ended up being a long trip into town too because we were looking for chitenjes, myself for the dress and Matt for his own project. I was unsuccessful though I did get a big hug from Allan (favorite E1 student) who happened to be wandering around the fashion district too. Did have another nice moment as we stopped to have a soda while waiting for our other passengers to be ready. We had to go to another stall since our usual place was closed but that turned out well as we were next to a couple of young boys playing Bao and Molly got to play with them. She got demolished – not surprising since they played so often and well that they are able to skip steps – but it was fun to watch their excitement about playing with her.

Matt and Molly were house-sitting for Kat and Ily (who’d gone to Zambia) that night so Chris and I had the house to ourselves. Was a pretty fun evening since our movie tastes were aligned… namely he picked out a dance movie collection and I was thrilled lol. So we ended up watching “Honey” while enjoying some marvelous BBQ and mashed potatoes. Was pretty awesome – I haven’t had that much meat in one sitting since being here! After the movie we decided to watch one episode of “Arrested Development” which of course turned into us watching a whole disk until midnight. Was a great night but then he went to bed and I had a moment of homesickness so I ended up doing my usual when that happens – watching Dr. Who until 2 am. But even with that event, it was still a quality evening :)

Tuesday was also a holiday (Bishop’s Day – hey at least it was a real holiday this time) which was lucky for me as I was able to sleep in until 10. Spent the morning researching grant opportunities for INCOS because I’d really like to help boost them onto the path of sustainability. So we’ll see how that goes. Also went and hung out in the marking room at Chaminade for awhile since I’ve missed the teachers. This always happens when they’re on holiday because they all get holed up in that room and no one’s ever in the summer hut. So that was nice to see all of them again!

I woke up on Wednesday pretty excited, despite the fact that it was 4:45 in the morning… I had to get up that early because I was escorting Callaghan to his first day of working at INCOS. It was quite the early and long morning but I was looking forward to seeing Kennedy as well as getting started on INCOS stuff, so it all evened out. Left by 5:30, wrapped in a sweater since the morning was blessedly (and uncharacteristically) chilly, and began my 45 minute walk to the hospital. Enjoyed myself along the way, appreciating Karonga’s beauty and the company of our dogs who followed me. This turned out to be a bit of a problem eventually though as they didn’t turn back once I caught a bike taxi. Normally they get tired and go home but this time 4 of them just kept going. So that was stressful since they almost kept getting hit by cars and ended up coming all the way to the bus depot. Whoops. My bike taxi was great though – definitely the best one ever. He spoke fluent English (not so common for a bike taxi) and so we were able to banter back and forth the whole way. Thoroughly enjoyable way to start the morning.

I ended up getting to the bus depot early so I had a while to just sit there and watch the action. Callaghan eventually arrived so we hopped on a bus which ended up driving in circles for 20 minutes, trying to collect more passengers. :) Love the public transportation system here. Cracks me up. But once the bus left, it was a fast one and we had a quick journey to Lupembe. I had a moment of fear as we got off the bus at the Lupembe stage and didn’t recognize it at all since usually it has a huge clothes market and is packed with people. But obviously at 7:30 in the morning, that was not the case. Eventually I noticed the large poles standing around where the clothes are displayed so we knew we were in the right spot. Collings (one of INCOS’ staff) was there to greet us but we were early so we settled down on a bench to wait for everyone to arrive.

While we were waiting there, I felt some of those ominous rumblin’s in the stomach. Groan. So not the best time for this. But it was coming whether I liked it or not so I ran over to ask Collings where I could find a toilet. He directed me towards the community chimbuzi, while trying to convince me to wait so he could find a nicer one for me to use. I, thinking that he just wanted to do so because I’m a white visitor, assured him that I was fine with the community pit latrine. Well no. He was saying that because there was neither a door nor a chitenje hanging there to give you some privacy. So I’m sorry, but there’s no way I’m baring my behind to the world while crouching over a hole in the ground. Rather distressed now, I turn away. Fortunately some ladies were sitting in their backyards and, seeing my problem, called me over and offered up their own chimbuzi. All of this was done in vernacular of course so I’m sure I missed some of their meanings, but I understood the important parts clearly! So after many thanks I was ushered to a lovely chimbuzi, very spacious and complete with a wooden door. Was very grateful that I never travel anywhere without a roll of toilet paper :) Whew what a crazy start to my morning in Lupembe.

Returned from that little adventure to learn that Kennedy had arrived so we went into their little one-room office to wait for the others to arrive. I was impressed that they were even able to afford a place in town, as opposed to out in the country. This is fantastic because the Lupembe stage is always swarming with people, so they’re really accessible to their beneficiaries. Spent the next few hours having a meeting to learn about INCOS, their current projects, their ambitions, and their financial systems since that’s what the boys will be working on. I think it was a bit overwhelming for Callaghan because they have a lot of things that they need help with, but I believe that if he finds a couple of small things to work on, that’s just fine and will help them immensely. So I’m hoping that he adopts that view too rather than just looking at the big picture and being overwhelmed. And I think they’ve set up a good pattern… Callaghan gives them “homework” to do in the interim of his visits and then they review it and make corrections while he’s there. But anyways, I had a great time – had a fun morning meeting the others who work at INCOS and am still very impressed by them and their objectives. Finished off the meeting with some minerals and biscuits. Then headed up to the road to find transportation home. Was grateful that all of the Malawians came with us, as they were quickly able to find us cheap transport home in a comfortable car. So much nicer than a minibus ride! Got dropped at the airport junction and started our hour-long walk home. It wasn’t too bad – talked the time away – though we were pretty tired by the time we made it back to Chaminade. Went back to Miracle after lunch where I discovered that I was teacher-on-duty this week. Whoops! Got “fired” for not being around…. Which kind of annoys me that no one ever recognizes the fact that I was still working – fulfilling my ETHOS liaison duties – whereas I’m willing to bet that 50% of the other teachers on campus just spent their morning sitting around. But yet, they’re the ones who are seen as working while I was seen as slacking off. Bah. But I digress. None of the prefects had names of lawbreakers for me so I just got to sit in the library and do call numbers like it was any other day. Also spent some quality time with my Electrical 1 class before calling it a day.

‘Twas my job to introduce Callaghan and Jeff to the Miracle staff and students during assembly on Monday morning which turned out to be great fun. Haha really it was just me getting up there and laughing and blushing awkwardly much to the students’ amusement. Fortunately I thought it was hilarious too and hammed it up a bit :) Hung out in the library with the boys, giving them a mini-orientation about the Women’s Empowerment Program and meeting with Mr. Chilongo about the possibility of them being guest teachers in his Entrepreneurship class. Finished off the morning with a computer class.

This turned out to be my only class of the day because we didn’t have any afternoon classes all week in preparation for the arrival of Miracle’s largest donor. So we spent the week cleaning and preparing entertainment for them. Now I’d rather they had continued with classes and maybe spent a day or so cleaning, but who am I to complain. Had a lovely time supervising my Electrical 1 class during the cleaning portion…. Which really meant just joking around with them while they painted the bricks white. I know it seems like a ridiculous project, but it’s a common one here and it really does make the place look nice and sharp :) Clearly I’ve been here too long if I’m thinking swept dirt and painted bricks are aesthetically pleasing. But I digress. Had a great afternoon with them, teasing them about their girlfriends and being thrilled that they’re all opening up more, especially Chindikani who I used to think was adorably quiet, but now I’m seeing is fantastically witty and amusing.

The workday didn’t end at 4 – which was fine considering I didn’t actually work (by American standards) in the afternoon. Went home and had a meeting with Kennedy and the new boys about their working at his NGO. Kennedy is the program director of INCOS, an organization that has been around for the last 10 years (originally begun as a youth club during high school) but is just now coming up into being fully functional. Their main focuses are food sustainability/nutrition and HIV/AIDS education and prevention, with the offshoots of youth empowerment and gender equality that necessarily accompany the latter. What originally drew Molly and I to their organization was even more evident in our talk... a genuine understanding of the multitude of cultural practices that perpetuate the societal problems. Most Malawians that we’ve talked to just don’t go beyond a very surface level of addressing the symptoms rather than the problems. So we were immediately impressed by that. All of their staff members work on a volunteer basis which is indicative of the passion that they have for improving their community. So it was really great to hear more about their programs and goals from Kennedy… I was also particularly happy about the level of community involvement that they insist upon before starting any project. Because being here in Africa has definitely taught me that if the community is neither interested nor involved, the project will never last. Plus it means that the beneficiaries don’t get caught up in the ever-so-common mentality of just depending on hand-outs, but rather have an active stake in their betterment. Impressive. And something that is often missed, even by the huge international NGOs. So yes, I have a soft spot in my heart for them and am really hoping the boys and I can help them figure out some details so that they can thrive beyond us.

After finishing our great meeting, it was my job to drive everyone home… dropped Madame Mwalweni and Jeff at home as well as Madame Longwe and several students. Had to turn down Mphatso on visiting his house despite him being one of my favorites – so hopefully I’ll have time to take him up on his offer before I leave. Had a great moment of laughter as I dropped Callaghan off and Mrs. Kasaya (his host mom) came running out, yelling his name and enveloping him in a hug. Got a hug from Flora, his “sister” who is sharp as a whip and not shy at all. Continued laughing as I pulled away and saw him settling into his chair. Moved on to town where I was dropping Kennedy. Ended up talking to him for 30 more minutes, despite the darkening hour and my rumbling empty stomach. I was just so impressed by him. He just gets it. Not only with community development issues but just life in general. It’s nice to meet someone like that who I click with enough for easy conversations. And it turns out that he wants to do a small library as a part of the youth empowerment program, so I was thrilled to hear that. Wholeheartedly agreed to help him with book donations… so start saving up any books you don’t want because I’ll be doing a book drive when I return to Texas in August!

Got up early on Tuesday to drive the boys to Lusubilo for their first day of work there. Stayed for their staff meeting and went through the orientation with them to help get things settled. Had to leave though to drive Madame Longwe to Miracle but returned to pick the boys up again because there wasn’t a full-day’s work for them. So we went to town for a quick trip to the bank and the post office before going to the community hall to buy bikes for them. Spent some time at the hall with Mwambire as the boys sorted through the hundreds of bikes. Nice time chatting with him – he’s another one who gets things and is easy to talk to. Apparently he is also building a community library. Look at me, inadvertently finding 2 library partners in 2 days! So I’m going to split my efforts between the two libraries since neither one will start off with particularly large collections. He’s already having the bricks made for the building so it should be up and going by the time I return in January. Also had a fun moment as I haggled with him about the bike prices and was told that I was haggling like a Malawian so I’ll be able to stay here without problems. I was proud lol even though we still got slammed on the price because he’s just a solid businessman and there’s nowhere else to rent bikes. I’m just so happy that the boys have bikes now so that I don’t have to drive them around anymore!

Wednesday turned out to be fairly exhausting. Worked in the library before lunch which was fine and then returned after lunch to supervise my class’ cleaning. Being with the class was fun, just as expected. Perched on a wall with them while they took turns slashing (cutting by hand) the campus grass. Unfortunately since my class was not working in the library, I had to leave off supervising in the library. This left the librarian in charge but unfortunately he failed to direct them about moving the books. So instead of preserving my month’s work, all of the withdrawn books just got thrown haphazardly into bags… so I’m going to have to do it allllll over again. Just could not believe the students could be so foolish. If there are dozens of stacks of books, each organized precisely by their titles…why would you upset those piles and throw books wherever?! So I was pretty overwhelmed by this and just couldn’t hold it in. A month’s worth of schlepping around over 1,000 books…. Gone within 10 minutes. Ended up crying in Molly’s office. Sigh.

On Thursday morning we woke up to some very sad news: Mr. Gongomwale (teacher at Chaminade) had passed away during the night. So after spending the morning at work in the library, I spent the afternoon driving for his family. When someone dies here, the whole community gathers outside of his house and basically just sits for the whole day. The men are out front on benches and the women are usually either inside the house or behind it, singing songs with the wife. I accidentally ended up with the men though because I drove up in the car and was just standing waiting for directions. Whoops. So I stayed at the house for a while and then drove a whole truckload of people to Wovwe, his home village, which is normally about an hour’s drive away. But first we went to the mortuary to get him settled in the coffin and everything. Banda came with me – for which I was very grateful since we had to sit at the mortuary for 2 hours. This would have been tiring enough, but add in the nonstop wailing of the women and my head was about to split and my heart was just completely drained. I mean, I was not even particularly close to Gongomwale, but hearing them cry just wrecked me anyway. So having Banda there for an anchoring support was really nice, especially since he sat next to me rather than keeping to the gendered divides. After all of the coffin stuff was figured out, we got to continue onwards. But unfortunately one of the loudest wailing women ended up sitting next to me in the cab of the truck. So I got another hour and a half of screaming right in my ear. Oh my head. Because you see, Gongomwale was a chief. So they had to announce his death as we drove through the villages – clearly this was done by screaming out the window. Also, we drove about 20 mph because we met up with a truck that was carrying a man who was announcing his death with a huge ram horn…. So the trip took twice as long as it normally would. We finally made it to his home village where everyone had gathered. By this point I was already somehow missing the quietness with which Americans grieve. I mean, I do like funerals better here – they’re more about celebrating the life than grieving the loss – but on that day I learned that that’s a sentiment more for the actual burial ceremony. The wake section on the first day is just gut-wrenching. So I was ready to escape. But we pulled up to his house and everyone was just in a hysterical frenzy. The whole village was there wailing and trying to rush his body a.k.a. the cars as others held them back. The woman in the car with me couldn’t figure out the door so she was freaking out flailing and I’m trying to reach around her to get the door open. I started to panic a bit because it was all just too overwhelming and I was worried that I would have to stand in that crowd. But fortunately Banda and Mr. Mwekinda showed up and told me I could move the car out of the way, so I just got to stand back and wait for the return trip. Just as luckily this happened pretty quickly. The ride home only increased my gratefulness to Banda for his willingness to come along with me since instead of a lonely irritable time, I thoroughly enjoyed myself as we chattered away.

I intended to go to Gongomwale’s funeral on Friday morning, but when we arrived we learned that there wasn’t enough transport available. So since I’d been gone the day before, we figured that it’d be best if I gave up my spot. Plus the donors were coming to Miracle that day so it made sense for me to stay if I’m going to be a fundraiser when I return. So I headed off to Miracle, still wearing my chitenje since I was already dressed and my skirt had a hole in it :) This turned out to be a great thing because the students and teachers loved it! Got so many compliments about looking Malawian and beautiful lol.

There were no classes since the whole day was dedicated to the donors’ visit, so I spent the morning sitting with my Electrical 1 class waiting for them to arrive. Had a lovely time goofing off with them, moving from group to group so that I got to catch up with everyone. Finally got the call saying that the visitors were on their way from the airport so I moved en masse with the students to form our dancing line that would welcome them to Miracle. I thought it was hokey and over the top but it ended up being really fun. Allan was my dance buddy – grabbin’ my hand and helping me with the steps. Thoroughly enjoyed myself being surrounded by the whole school, stumbling along and cracking up with laughter. One of those moments where I felt a lot of love for the students. After the family’s arrival we had a brief introduction session and I was thrilled to realize that Father Marty had accompanied them! Marty was in Nairobi when Chris and I arrived and is now the Provincial in the U.S. I didn’t think he would remember me but he immediately came running over and gave me a huge hug. Love him! Had a nice little chat and even told him about my staying here longer – I figured he’d be able to relate since he ended up staying in Kenya for almost 30 years before being reassigned back to the States.

Joined Brother Paul for a tour with part of the donors’ family as well as the president of their foundation, the latter of whom I particularly enjoyed. Spent most of my time chatting with her about Miracle, my plans for the library, her other NGO connections, and life in general. Was very nice. The tour was also pretty great – the students laid out all of their finished products from the term so it was cool to see and hear about what they’ve been working on. Nice to be reminded that the skills they’re gathering will indeed provide them with some income after they graduate. Rejoined with the other tour group in time for lunch and ended up hanging out with the donors’ granddaughter who’s a university student and thus close in age. Had lunch with her, Jeff, and Callaghan during which we talked a good deal about Malawian culture which was a very welcome surprise since she was actually genuinely interested to learn about it. Plus the lunch itself was brilliant! The Hotel & Catering students learned how to make a bunch of American foods, so we got to have macaroni salad, chicken breasts, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Oh it was amazing.

After lunch the students presented gifts to our visitors, which was just utterly hysterical as they totally hammed it up and had a good time wrapping the women in chitenjes and giving the men walking sticks. Too funny to watch them dancing around and the visitors being great sports about it all. Headed over to Chaminade eventually, acting as a tour guide along the way again. Hung out in the summer hut with the other teachers while the family saw the Chaminade campus, since I had to wait around for them to visit the computer lab. Plus they were planting a tree so I had to see that! :) Eventually everything wrapped up and 11 hours later we got to go home. Whew long day – but a fun one! It’s always great to chat with new people from the States and of course seeing Miracle afresh through people who are as equally caring about the students’ well-beings… wonderful.

So as I’m writing this blog I’m thinking back on my last entry and my mum’s comment about how glad she was that I am so happy. So definitely having a bit of reflection time. Because you know, that’s supposed to be healthy every now and then or something? To be quite honest, these last couple of weeks have been fairly rough. I haven’t been happy. Work was exhausting and frustrating as I often find myself wishing that I could spend enough time in the library to actually finish my project, rather than teaching (something I never wanted to do). Also being upset about doing everything on my own without any help. So that’s made me fairly tired and overwhelmed by the end of the day. Socially things had gotten just as maddening as different cultural expectations and gaps in communication just about pushed me over the edge emotionally and made me yearn for the easy relationships I already have with people at home. Loneliness often prevailed. And I can’t get home to the U.S. soon enough. But at the same time, the reality that my year here will be over in just 2 short months looms in the very near distance, causing me much distress. I am coming back to Malawi and for that I am extremely grateful… but even so, 5 months away from this place seems like an eternity some days. Especially when there are some people here who I miss when I don’t see them for 2 days.

So yes, to be honest, I haven’t been in the greatest place emotionally for the last couple of weeks – even as I’m writing this entry there have been things in the last few days that have made me cry and made me just plain cranky – one of the main reasons why I haven’t been writing on the blog. I had these notes about the days and couldn’t bring myself to revisit things that had made me unhappy at the time. Just seemed like it would perpetuate the problems. This actually was probably a wise decision because I waited until I was feeling better before writing that last entry that was full of happy moments…. And as such I was able to focus on the small, good things that did happen in that time period. So while it did indeed suck in the moment, now I am able to look back and appreciate the positive moments that ultimately matter much more than the minor irritations. And in doing so it’s helping me to remember the article that I wrote a million years ago about why I love this place – the little things. The little moments that bring me joy – not just happiness because happiness is impermanent and can shift in an instant (so says the ever wise Chris Tavares). But true joyfulness is a state of being. It gets into your soul and determines how you are as a human being. And thus I am now able to remember that my love and appreciation for this place are not transient and dependent on ALWAYS loving my job or even the people here…. It runs deeper than that. So yes, I can be unhappy and cranky and bitter towards things and people here, while still feeling joy in my heart that I am indeed lucky enough to be here. Thank you, blog.

Ok reflection time over. Thanks for listening to my ramblings – since this blog is doubling as my personal journal, it’s nice to be able to get these thoughts out on “paper.”

Returned to work on Thursday after returning from Lilongwe. Pretty exhausting day. Everything went well, just probably needed a day to recoup from the travel. But no rest for the weary, eh? Had a good English class – we’re actually ahead of schedule! Awesome. Took a walk to Gondwe’s shop with Chris after work. Very happy to resume that little tradition since I’d missed him and his goofiness during the trip.

Friday was as busy as it typically is – 3 computer classes in the morning. Skipped entertainment time and instead worked in the library doing call numbers. Swung by the summer hut at the end of the day to chat with some people which turned out to be a bad move. I’d already been feeling a little down and unfortunately the teachers who were around only talked in vernacular, thus making me feel a more than a little lonely. Kaunda walked me home and as I tried unsuccessfully to explain to him that he’s most welcome to come to our house to hang out at any time, I was overwhelmed by language barriers and cultural differences. Because 1. He just could not understand what I was trying to say. And 2. I believe we have a legit friendship – one that’s not based on favors or expectations, but instead one where we actually enjoy just chatting and hanging out. And yet still he doesn’t feel comfortable coming to a house that has 4 white people there. Still he feels like he would be bothering us. Let me add that this has also happened with Kalua and Banda – both of whom know they are my 2 favorite Malawians in the whole of Malawi lol. It’s absurd and frustrating and yet still it happens despite my trying to convince them that their presence would be a welcome blessing most days. But I digress. Kaunda just didn’t understand in that moment. So I walked away and couldn’t keep it together any longer. The loneliness was just too much to handle and I ended up sitting on the porch having a complete meltdown. Unfortunately none of the other volunteers were around so that made it even worse. Bah. I even ended up calling Kalua while crying which let’s be honest was probably a first for me since I hate showing people that I’m crying. But alas he was already in town at his sister’s house for the night. Malawi: 1 Alyson: 0. But eventually I recovered with the help of a cocktail and some Girl Scout cookies. My housemates returned for supper and after a restorative hug from Chris I was able to call it an early night.

Saturday turned out to be great though. Had a lazy morning because we knew we had a program in the afternoon. While the boys were off wandering around campus the afternoon before, they spent some quality time with the Village Headman and ended up being invited to Ndolo on Saturday afternoon. Ndolo are the traditional dances only done by women (whereas Malipanga – remember I wrote about that so long ago? – are performed by the men). They were holding these dances just near campus in honor of a drummer who had recently passed away. And when the Village Headman invites you somewhere…. You go. So we figured it was a must which we were fortunately all pretty excited for. It was a bit awkward when we arrived because it wasn’t a big event so the 6 of us whities stuck out like sore thumbs. Molly and I have never been so grateful for the normally maddening gender divisions which allowed us to sit to the side on a tire with the women and children while the boys ended up in seats at the front. We could have sat with them (because of our skin) but it was much more comfortable to be enveloped in that nook of female companionship that I’ve always found so wonderful here. And the kids are just fun to play with :) Clifford’s wife was there so she wanted Molly and me to join the women in dancing. Now this sounds like a terrible idea lol. Neither of us knew the moves and my hips just cannot possibly move in such a manner. But I go with it because it’s one of those rare days where I’m feeling the beat in my bones so I figure I can at least fake it. So Molly and I end up behind one of the houses to practice but that just draws a crowd so Madame decides that we will just practice while we go… in front of the whole crowd. S-W-E-E-T. Oh you all would have been so proud of me. I just decided what the heck, I’m going to have fun with this. No worrying. No being self-conscious. This is a special moment of being included and I’m going to live it. And I am so glad I did because it was an amazing experience. Got in line with the women and danced our booties off. The crowd cracked up most of the time but who cares because we were laughing too. Even if we were legitimately good they still would have laughed so oh well. Our boys Chris and Matt were very supportive, cheering us on and even videotaping us (still a bit nervous to see it in real time lol). Even now I’m smiling as I think about dancing with the women, being all dramatic as we were breakin it down to make everyone giggle. So wonderful.

Afterwards the 6 of us walked with the Village Headman to his house for a short visit. Enjoyed the fact that we had a parade of village children behind us and had a heart-swelling moment of pride as Chris pointed out how much I’d grown in 8 months (obviously not in height, but moreso in confidence and spontaneity since the person I was before never would have danced like that). Made it to Bwana Mwanganda’s house where we were welcomed by his 2 wives and treated to some cooked bananas that actually ended up being more the consistency of bread. Weird I know – I think they added flour? Not sure but it was pretty good. Left a while later, loaded down with a bag of leftovers and peanuts. Yet another cool experience as we got to hear all of his chiefly stories.

After supper I headed over to the staff room to watch the Champion’s League football final. I was pretty happy about this because I’ve missed going over there (my only real social activity here) since the Premier League ended. Miss hanging out with everyone and goofing around. So I was grateful that the game was on and that I heard about it in time. Went over alone and perched on the edge of the bench next to Kaunda since the room was full. Chris and Callaghan joined us later which was kinda cool since the others usually watch football at the Brothers’ house. Inter-Milan was victorious although I wasn’t particularly concerned about the outcome – just glad to be back in the staff room with everyone, having a lovely time! Was pretty impressed with Kalua as he is the first Malawian in Karonga that I’ve heard speak out against the 14 years of jail with hard labour that the gay couple here received. Now I’m sure everyone who reads this blog has different opinions on gay marriage and sexual orientation in general, blah blah blah. But my point is that I doubt even those who believe that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, would support a punishment of almost a decade and a half of prison and forced labor. It’s been a pretty big stink around here though as homosexuality is illegal and the uber-Christian population (which is pretty much everyone in this culture that soaked up the missionaries’ doctrines) believes it to be sinful and abnormal. So I wasn’t really expecting to hear anyone who thought the punishment was a bad thing. Even the wise old men here on campus whose opinions I usually respect were on the side of thinking it’s ok. But good old, westernized Kalua. Should have known he’d think differently and I’m pretty sure I was grinning like an idiot as I understood enough of his vernacular speech (with a little translating confirmation from Kaunda) to realize that he thought the punishment was ridiculous. Now whether or not he thinks homosexuality is perfectly normal, I have no idea. But it was nice to hear someone who recognizes that it’s not okay to imprison people for loving someone, especially when people who are known for committing various civil rights violations and crimes are still walking free in the streets. Got an escort back to the house after the game from the man himself which was nice since I hadn’t seen Kalua in quite some time thanks to our trip to Lilongwe and his busy-ness.

Went to the summer hut on Sunday morning because the science teachers were departing for a week-long conference in Chitepa and Kalua had asked me to come send him off. But the driver ended up going from house to house to pick everyone up since they were all late (surprise surprise) so no luck. Oh well. The sad thing is that this trip has pretty much wiped out all of my favorites… Kalua, Kaunda, and Mumba. Banda = sole survivor. So I’m not sure who I’ll hang out with this week :)

Returned to the house to wash some laundry while watching “Fireflies in the Garden.” Depressing, not great, but okay. Wish it had delved deeper into some storylines. But a good distraction during laundry for sure! I like this new routine I have of washing while watching. Afterwards I just laid around and watched “Notting Hill” which I haven’t seen for some time probably since Mum and Dad have always despised it :) But I loved it completely! Oh Hugh Grant. Had a community lunch since we had visitors – Callaghan and Jeff but also Allie who had returned that morning from Nkhata Bay (whoot)! It was nice to have her back even though it was for just a day. Cool girl.

Sunday afternoon marked the moving of Callaghan and Jeff to their host families… exciting! We started off with Jeff who’s staying with Madame Mwalweni (who works in Miracle’s social office with Molly). Chatted with her family for a while, toured the house, and then moved on to the Kasaya house where Callaghan will be living. I’m pretty jealous about his placement although I think he’s maybe a little wary of it. But I have just been completely charmed by Mrs. Kasaya and her children. Madame is just a hoot and makes me grin, while the children are adorable and always looking for someone to play with. Plus the house is a gathering point in the community (even before there was a mzungu there to inspire a crowd) which means that there are always dozens of children around and a handful of adults too. This seems like fun to me! So I’m jealous. I think Molly was too lol. Had a mineral with the family in celebration, Callaghan showed off his awesome light that purifies water, and we left him for the night.

Ndol

Sorry I’ve been so terrible about writing lately… I got behind and things got busy and frustrating and tiring so that by the end of the day I was in no mood to write. But now I’m making time :)

Some highlights of the last couple of weeks:

- Had a holiday (Labour Day) which was really nice. We spent a perfect day at the lake… took a bike taxi into town to buy some picnic supplies and then continued on to the lake where we enjoyed our peanut butter and banana sandwiches. The best part though was the almonds that Kat and Ily shared with us from the U.S.! I spent a few minutes in the water but was freezing so eventually just lounged on the beach, listening to music, and enjoying watching all the kiddos that were running around.

- Talked to Brother Paul about my return to Malawi. It’s official! I just have to find some housing because the Marianists don’t want me living alone (understandable). So I’m working on that in the meantime. Will hopefully just end up staying in the girls’ quarters of the house I’m at now, but we’ll see. But the job part is set. I’ll go home with everyone else at the end of July and will be coming back in January on my own to work as a librarian and fundraiser. Pretty stoked that I get to work my dream job (librarian) in a place that I’ve completely fallen in love with. Can’t ask for more than that!

- Some great moments with the kids on campus. Gift (my little church buddy) has begun running into my arms the moment she sees me. So cute. Almost got trampled by some oxen the other day because I was so enjoying playing with her :) Also have convinced a couple of the teachers’ kids to be friends with me. The little Ng’ambi boy (my fave) has moved from grinning and waving frantically to actually coming to shake my hand. Scooped him up in a big hug and walked with him for awhile one day while going to Gondwe’s. Adorable. Also got a cute little hug from Nkhata Senior’s boy (my second favorite). And bonded with a couple of the ones who are always hanging around Gondwe’s shop. Really do enjoy the kiddos so it’s nice that they’re finally getting over being afraid of us white people.

- Work on the library is coming along nicely. Have finished cataloging the withdrawn books and are packaging them so we can distribute them to the primary schools that can actually use them. Am also getting along swimmingly with the call numbers so that’s cool. My favorite days are when I get to spend hours on end just in the library, so I think it’s a good thing that that’s going to be my job!

- Very nice times in the summer hut. Continue to love those teachers and have been having some fun chats with them. They are especially excited to hear that I’m coming back so that’s always nice news to share. The power’s been more sporadic as of late so a few computer classes have had to be canceled which means more summer hut time for me.

- Have been having some great walks to Gondwe’s shop with Chris. We’ve pretty much been going every 2 days. And despite the fact that we often have a tag-along who hampers our way there, the time at the shop and the walks back are often bright points in my days. A chance to just relax and shake off any frustrations of the day. Swallowed a bug at one point because I was laughing with my mouth open (shocking I know) which was fairly traumatic…. Almost ended up vomiting as it was choking me.

- We had Mumba and his family over for supper one night! I was pretty stoked about this since he’s my favorite older teacher and I’ve been asking the other volunteers to have them over for a while. Felt all nervous beforehand (lol worse than a date) but everything went well. Had some nice chats about cultural differences and it was just nice to have them around.

- Had a pretty rough day one day and was enveloped with love by the community which was pretty great. Special Gondwe’s trip with Chris and Matt kept checking in with me. But best of all was Molly. She came into the room where I was laying and gave me a private guitar concert. Played all of my favorites for me and let me know that she was there for me without prying. It really was a moment that touched me and made me appreciate everyone in the house.

- Had a quiz (trivia game) during the Writer’s Club meeting one week. Pretty funny to watch them try to come up with answers to some pretty bizarre questions!

- Spent my Friday entertainment time watching football with Allan, Chester, and Enock – some of my first year Electricals. Had intended to go home because I was tired and cranky but ended up being really happy that I stayed. Should have known since they always cheer me up! Had a great time cheering for the first year students (who were in a football match against the second years) and learning who is quiet and loud in the class. Turns out even the ones I thought were quiet are in fact just big goofballs too!

- Took a nice walk with Kaunda as I escorted him home from work. He’s always ridiculously busy because he works hard and also gets things shoved on him, so it had been a good week at least since I’d had any talking time with him. So I invited myself along much to his delight and we ended up just standing in the football pitch chatting until it was time for me to go home for supper. Heard all about his best friend from university, his girlfriend, his future plans, etc. And I got to tell him my news about staying in Malawi… so cute, his face just lit up and he couldn’t form any coherent sentences. Such a cool kid! So I’m glad that we’re buds!

- Got to talk to some fun people from home thanks to Facebook chat, namely Brooke and Yvonne! And got some good messages from others. So that’s always nice to hear from the home people!

- Watched some good movies. “Message in a Bottle” which really turned out to be rather hilarious even though I just thought it was going to be sappy. Molly particularly enjoyed my loud giggles as she was sitting on the porch outside the room. Also watched “Land of the Blind” – strange but good. “The Way We Were” made an appearance too, so I enjoyed eating chocolate and gushing over Redford with Molly. We also had a community night of watching “Remember the Titans” – so great. And have been able to download some movies on the internet which is awesome… watched “Beauty and the Beast” and was thrilled to realize that I still think it’s amazing. And “The Departed” – terribly depressing and yet utterly amazing at the same time.

- Built a fire ALL ON MY OWN and ON THE FIRST TRY and WITH ONLY ONE MATCH. Oh man I was so proud of myself! The boys say I’m really becoming a Malawian woman… building fires, cooking meals for men (I made some potatoes for Matty), and washing my clothes by hand. :) There is definitely something satisfying about doing all of those things by hand. Have also had some good times with the group as we make Sunday supper around the fire, just sitting in the dark having random conversations as we wait for things to cook.

- Got to talk to my mum on Mother’s Day! That was pretty great to chat with her and hear all of the news. Can’t believe I’ll get to see them in person in just over a month! Because they’re coming to visit – all of them Mum, Dad and Jessica – for a couple of weeks. Am pretty stoked about that!

- Chelsea won the English Premier League football championship! Whoot Whoot! ‘Twas a great day for all Chelsea fans on campus as we got to tease mercilessly the Man U. fans. Alas, there was no power the whole day so we didn’t actually get to see the blessed event. Lame. But it was good enough just knowing :) Also, I bought a Chelsea bumper sticker for 200 Kwacha (just over $1) while I was in Lilongwe… pretty pumped about that!

- Had a farewell party for Molly because we were going to Lilongwe (more on that later) and she spent the night before at Kat and Ily’s place. Chris and I walked her to Gondwe’s where we had a mineral and gave some speeches. Laughed hysterically as Chris yelled (playfully) at some lady who interrupted his magnificent speech. Of course she had no idea what he was even saying… and probably didn’t even realized he was acting any other way than normally.

- A former volunteer showed up on campus one day and so we decided to welcome her into our house. She is actually the one I have to thank for the teachers knowing how to pronounce my name because her name is also Allison! Awesome. She’s from Canada and did her gap year at Chaminade 3 years ago and just came back for a visit. Had nowhere to stay so she ended up spending maybe 4 nights at our house and will swing by again on her way back home. It was pretty cool having her around – always nice to get some new voices and stories in the house!

- The Electrical I class continues to steal my heart most days. People here don’t say “God bless you” when you sneeze. They usually just ignore it and if you’re lucky you’ll get a “Sorry.” So I usually hold in my “bless you” when people sneeze. But the other day it just popped out and I got blank stares from the Electrical I class in return. So I taught them about it and they were just so cute. They started fake sneezing and when I told them it doesn’t work like that, they said “But Madam, we are just practicing!” Love them. Also had a great chat with them as I told them that I had gotten a job at Miracle so that I’d be returning in January. Of course they were distraught about missing a whole 5 months with me but I assured them that I’d send letters or emails and call them periodically. Just adore them completely.

As previously mentioned, Molly and I went to Lilongwe on Saturday to pick up the new Univ. of Dayton volunteers who will be here for their summer holiday. I’ve been in charge of arranging all of their stuff (housing, work, etc.) on this end so it was kind of my task to go get them even though I hate traveling. Molly was kind enough to come with me so it really turned out to be fun! We decided to stop for a couple of days in Nkhata Bay which was a great decision. Stayed at Kupenja again and took our meals in town. We did go to Mayoka during the evenings though but it was a really low-key weekend for them so that worked out well with our moods. Special wasn’t around but we got some quality time with Benjie. In fact it was one of our most enjoyable times with him because he was calm and normal rather than having to be on display and entertaining like he usually is with other guests. He took his supper with us and we just talked and then the next night we played Euchre with him. Really nice to see that side of him. Allie (the other Allison) joined us for our last night there which was also great.

Continued on to Lilongwe on Monday morning. It’s a 6 hour ride on a bus so it wasn’t particularly great, especially because they had standers in the aisle so although I technically had my own seat, really I was turned sideways and bent over for most of the time to allow for their space. It was nice to see that part of the country though since I’d previously slept through it on other trips. Had a fun time making faces at a toddler sitting in front of us. Really that did keep me entertained for a few hours lol. Got into Lilongwe after dark so we took a taxi to Mabuya Camp… nice place. My first time being there but it’s got a nice vibe as do most backpacker places. Decided to sleep in tents since it’s cheaper. Crashed immediately and woke up very confused as to where I was. Woke up to discover that Special and his girlfriend were also staying there. Crazy Malawi…. Can’t go anywhere without seeing someone you know! The great part about being further south is that it was really cold! We were freezing most of the time since we only had thin sweaters but it was worth it!

After a great breakfast (complete with sausage – whoot!) and a few hours of playing Bao, Molly and I headed to the airport to pick up the boys. Sat in traffic on the way – Molly felt like she was at home – and made it early enough to watch the planes land. It’s pretty funny here. There’s a waiting area where you can pay to go up and see the planes come in. Great moneymaker. So it was quite the socialite area. Molly and I treated ourselves to a mineral so we could do it in style and cheer as the boys’ plane landed. Welcome to Malawi fellas.

Had a grand time watching other families unite. You know me being all sentimental. Got all teary eyed as a 80 year old man shuffled to what looked to be his daughter. And the hugs between couples. And moms greeting their children. Oh I was just all a flutter. Molly just laughed. Collected the boys, got some food and then headed to the bus depot. Had some problems finding transportation since the bus we originally chose looked like it would take hours to fill. So we switched to another that hadn’t yet arrived. While sitting on the curb waiting for it, a man came and said he had a car… so we went with him. The only problem was that it seated 3 in the back and we had 4…. So Molly and I shared a seat. Awesome. Spent 5.5 hours rearranging ourselves… her on my lap, me on her lap, me in between her legs and vice versa, her on the ground, me with my legs wrapped around her. It was really quite amusing. Not comfortable at all. But hey, we made it to Mzuzu 4 hours earlier than we would have and as a result we got to sleep in a real bed rather than curled on the bus in the depot. Went to Mzoozoozoo where we were greeted with meatballs (whoot) and then crashed immediately.

Woke early the next morning and caught a bus immediately. It was a great ride – only 3 people in each seat and we didn’t stop to pick anyone up. Amazing. A kind old man shared a banana with me, much to my delight, and we made it home by lunch time. So nice to be back!

Spent the rest of the day lounging and resting. Gave the boys – Callaghan and Jeff – a tour and then settled myself into the summer hut to catch up with my favorite teachers. Returned to work on Thursday where I ended up exhausted. Library time even wore me out! But had 2 classes – English and Computer – both went well just need some time to get back into things.

So I pretty much spend all of my work time now in the library sticking call numbers on book spines. Fortunately this work fills my heart with joy so I’m absolutely fine sitting there for hours on end without stopping. Brilliant. Spent a couple of hours doing that and then had 2 computer classes that morning. Went well – everyone remembered the processes which was awesome! Had some lovely summer hut time in between, chatting with the Chaminade crew. One more computer class in the afternoon which also went well and then returned to Miracle for a couple more hours of attaching call numbers. A day in the life… lol Pretty great. Stopped by the summer hut on the way home and had a lovely time. Actually ended up spending 2 hours there just chatting! Molly stopped by too which turned out to be great because it was only the two of us with the 3 young ones, Kalua, Banda and Kaunda… something which surprisingly has never happened. Normally we’re also with some old teachers so the conversations are different, but this was just us being goobers. Really nice. Kalua and Banda were in quite a mood, acting like 7 year olds which was fun to see since usually Kalua is not so goofy (Banda always is :)) Poor Kaunda was visibly stressed out and exhausted so Molly and I spent some time trying to cheer him up but the two rambunctious ones kind of impeded that as they just ganged up on him. Lots of talk about Planet K.A. again as we planned a trip for Saturday after Mr. Nyanguru’s farewell party. Also had a funny moment as Kalua was talking about a dream he had where he traveled to a very nice place… but couldn’t remember where. And Banda’s response was “Afghanistan?” Oh Molly and I died. Especially when he turned out to be right!

Wednesday was a pretty up and down day even though I started out being psyched because I got to spend the whole day in the library! Whoot! My favorite student, Allan, came back to school that morning so I was really excited about that! Glad to have him back :) Spent a few hours attaching call numbers and then decided to deal with the mess of withdrawn books. Because I had them all nicely stacked by subject but they got moved because the rain was hitting them. Totally fine. But when the students moved them, they just through them in a huge pile. Aaarrrggghh. So now I have the task of sorting and moving about 2,000 text books. Awwwwwesome. So I spent over an hour doing that which pretty much killed my psyche. Sweating profusely, covered in dirt and cobwebs, and doing it all alone was a recipe for disaster. Plus I got overwhelmed by the enormity of the task of reorganizing the library. I’ve been pretty positive all along but now that there are only 3 months left, I’m realizing that this being only a side job to all of my teaching pretty much ensures that it won’t get done. Frustrating. But I’m going to try my best still! Anyways, I got a little down thinking about that. But I salvaged the day by turning up some music (no one was in the library) and dancing around as I moved the books. Helped significantly :) Also gave up on moving textbooks eventually and went back to the call numbers which boosted the joy in my heart even more. Stuck to just doing call numbers after lunch too since I wanted to keep enjoying the day.

After not working for a week, the internet was finally up and running again but alas I spent an hour there without it working since there were too many other people on… so I was patient and finally got my turn. Got to talk to Brooke which was A-wesome! Haven’t talked to her in a long time and miss her dearly so that was fantastic. Had to leave prematurely though because we had supper with the Brothers that night so I couldn’t be late. Lame. Had fun at supper though like always. Got to hear J.P. tell his story about getting stung by bees…. Now he already looks like a big bear, so we nearly died of laughter imagining him looking like a bear that’s swatting away a swarm of bees. Took a nap after supper and then headed over to watch the Barcelona vs. Inter-Milan football game. Supposed to be a good one but it was actually very dull, 0-0. One of the IM players got a red card in the first half so I figured it’d be a pretty exciting game after that but nope! Pretty bored and tired so I headed home shortly after half-time.

Thursday morning was the usual – call numbers. Had my first English class of the term that morning. They were a little rambunctious because they’d just gotten news that they’d passed their national trade tests… but it was okay. One of those classes that seems pointless to me – we were covering telephone communication – but that had to be covered for the sake of the test. Bah. But a few students came up to me afterwards and said it was very interesting so who knows. Had computer class after lunch and then returned to the library for more call numbers. Showed Mr. Mughogho (librarian) how the withdrawn books should be organized so hopefully he’ll start helping with that. Called it a day and spent some fun times in the Chaminade staff room with Misters Banda and Mlotha just chatting. Genuflected in the summer hut, with my free hand on my elbow as I shook his hand, while I was greeting Mr. Nygangulu (all signs of respect here) and was told that I’m becoming Malawian. :) Walked to Gondwe’s with Chris although our walk there was somewhat different since a night school student latched onto us for the whole way there. It was nice once we got there though – had our quality talk time and then enjoyed watching Chris scribble math in the sand as we talked our way through the community’s financial budget. Had a finance meeting after supper and then I drifted in and out of sleep on the living room floor while Chris played the guitar. Nice end to the day.

Molly and I ended up getting to work early on Friday somehow…strange… we’re usually rushing in just in time or a little late. Didn’t quite know what to do with ourselves. I had 3 computer lessons that morning. They all went well though tiring from being back to back. Can’t imagine teaching a full day like American teachers! Had some nice snatches of time in the summer hut as I waited for the next group of students to arrive. Laughed when the teachers told us we couldn’t speak English anymore since vernacular is forbidden and they’re actually going to try to enforce that rule now. (Doubtful). Was vindicated as Tamala went to chat with Kalua so he finally knows who I was talking about when I gave him those papers all of those months ago (he knows her by a different name – common here). Did some typing for the Entertainment Committee since the secretary was nowhere to be seen and invites for Nyanguru’s farewell party needed to be distributed. Also learned that I’ve been spelling Kalua’s name wrong for the last 9 months. I like the way I spelled it better personally. More aesthetically pleasing with an “h” :)

Had a fairly crappy afternoon when I returned to work which I really wasn’t expecting since Friday afternoons are filled with club meetings and entertainment – nothing stressful at all. No responsibilities. Well I came back and had a meeting with Madame Principal about some issues that my roll call class needed handled. This meant that I ended up missing the Writer’s Club meeting. So when I did make it to the library I got griped at by the president of the club. I’m sorry but no. You guys handled things just fine before I came here last year, so man up and lead the club – I’m not supposed to lead, I’m just there as a liaison with management. And also I’ve spent hours of personal time doing stuff for them, so I’m sorry that I have other professional responsibilities that took priority over their meeting. Grumble. So I’m pretty sad that I’ve come to resent that club now. Hopefully it’ll get better?

Decided to work on call numbers rather than going to the disco which was a good decision. But you know how certain music can make you feel sad? Just like others can make you feel happy and upbeat? Well I listened to the wrong music. Stupid itunes shuffle :) So I ended up feeling lonely and missing home (especially Mum thanks to that Taylor Swift song, “Best Day”). Add into that that the real librarian was outside chatting away with friends while I’m anxious about finishing everything in 3 months… bah. I was on the verge of a meltdown.

So I hightailed it off campus as soon as the bell rang and went to the computer lab because I knew Kat and Ily were there. Got a hug from Kat but she is just entirely too skinny for good hugging. So genius Ily decided that if the two of them stand together and I hug both of them, it just might work. And it was better :) Maybe a bit too wide at that point but better than alone lol. Plus they gave me a cookie :)

Went to find Kalua to guilt him into coming out with us that night since I really just needed a fun night. Didn’t even have to use my prepared guilt speech though as he agreed right away! Whoot! Molly happened past soon afterwards so I got to have a venting session with her. The great thing about this was that I realized I just need to get over it. Because these are things that have bothered me for 9 months and are not likely to change. But I just move past them and focus on my own self and my own actions. And that way it’s fine. Do my best to shape things but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. No point on fixating and being angry about things that are beyond my control. And just like that, I was feeling better.

Had a lovely afternoon shower (much preferred to my usual morning ones where the water is freezing and I end up shaking from the cold) and then had some hammock time with Chris which only improved my attitude. Fun times were had after dinner as it was Brother Charles’ birthday so we planned to surprise him with a cake and a song. In Japanese. Go figure, considering Chris was in charge of song selection. :) So we spent some time practicing “If you’re happy and you know it” in Japanese (we’ve got it down now) as well as various choreographed positioning. Lots of laughter. But alas when we went over, we realized that the place was deserted since they’d gone out to dinner to celebrate.

After a couple of games of football in the house, Chris and I met up with Kalua and Banda to walk to the airport to meet Kat and Ily. Had a fun walk and got to hear about the different things Kalua doesn’t like about Malawians, namely their lack of timeliness and pointless, inefficient meetings – it was like listening to an American. Also got it out of him that he practices dancing in his room. Oh we are quite the awkward dancing pair (I also practice in the room when Molly’s gone). :) But alas we soon realized that the airport was closed so we ended up at that sketchy roadside bar that we always pass by because they don’t have cold drinks. Well I don’t think we’ll be going back there again because let’s rank the level of sketchiness for the 3 drinking establishments I’ve been to thus far. 1. Airport. Frequented by fairly respectable businessmen and is usually nearly empty so we are not bothered by people. 2. Planet K.A. Has a strong population of creepers but normally you can either dance away from them or just walk away to the sitting area or outside. Enough places to escape them lol = a big bonus. 3. Roadside bar. Sketch-McGee Central. This is where the hardcore drunkards hang out. I’m talking “passed out on the ground” kind of crowd. Eek. So yeah don’t think we’ll be going back there, especially since they bugged us the whole night, trying to be friends. Nope. I’m all about chatting and making new friends, but not when you reek of alcohol and can’t complete a coherent sentence. We were able to have some fun though as we grabbed a bench and just talked. Had a fun photo shoot that involved tickling since the Malawian boys were unwilling to smile. Vicki (our cook) was actually at the neighboring shop chatting with her friend, so we also got to talk to her for a while too. Headed home fairly early though as everyone felt pretty out of place. So really the walks to and back ended up being the most enjoyable parts, just chattering and laughing our way home. Because really neither Kalua nor I are as quiet as we claim to be and Banda and Chris are always endlessly amusing.

Leisurely morning on Saturday. Started off watching “Overboard” (thanks Laura!) but switched to “The Proposal” because the community was watching the latter together. Had a fun time with Molly – switched our usual cynical and swooning positions. I’m usually the swooner at all the cheesy moments while she rolls her eyes and fake gags. But for some reason we switched that day. But by the end we were back to normal :)

Clifford fixed our door handle so we can finally close our bedroom door without getting locked inside – whoot – so we also got to have a nice lunch with him. Headed over to the football pitch around 3 to watch the Chaminade game, but found no one. Called Mum while I waited and had a lovely chat until her phone card ran out. People were around by that point so I chatted and watched for awhile but then Kalua called, needing help with the Nyanguru farewell party preparations. Because apparently everyone else on the planning committee disappeared so he was going it alone. Felt bad for him since he looked like his head was going to explode/ he was going to pass out from exhaustion so I spent the afternoon helping him, running around getting bowls and spoons, finding presents, drafting and typing the program, and trying to secure a sound system – which turned out to be most stressful since the students were having a disco that night, leaving us musicless. Laptop requests were turned down by Molly and Kat as well as several other teachers and had 2 chats with 2 different brothers trying to borrow Miracle’s – no go, broken – before good old Muyila agreed to let us use his personal cd player/speakers. I also got to help cook nsima for the first time! Really I just stirred for about 30 seconds but I was pretty proud of myself when the teachers’ wives said I was doing it right – they have a unique way of holding the spoon which I was nervous to try. So with all this running around I was pretty much exhausted by the time the party rolled around, but still glad I helped since most of it was a fun time.

Ran home to change and then headed back to the party which had just started. All of the outer seats were filled so I spent some awkward time in the middle before Nyondo and Molly joined me. We all scattered at the first possible moment though to squeeze into the outer circle lol so I ended up by the sound system with Sirs Kalua and Banda. The party was pretty typical – lots of speeches (some more entertaining than others), an MC who failed to follow the program but just chattered away (whoot B.B.M. Ng’ambi), and good food and drinks, served around 9 pm lol. The official party ended around 10:30 and then dancing began. But alas by this point I was exhausted and hadn’t had a drink so I still too self-conscious to dance. Sat around for a while watching everyone else dance. Was highly amused as the Madames stepped back in unison to cross their arms and judge the drunken men who were hogging the dance floor. Horrified as one of the cooks was giving his baby beer – Kat went to “play” with the baby pretty quickly. And smiled as Chris danced Malipanga and Matt chose Memory – Nyangulu’s 9 year old daughter – as his dance partner. Too cute. Unfortunately I discovered that I still get overwhelmed in those crowded party circumstances, for all of my new bonding with the teachers. I’m sure it would have been fine but none of the ones I know well were free and I didn’t want to dance. So I had to step out for awhile to re-center. No problem. Chatted with Beams for awhile who was also outside but then just decided to call it a night.

Nice Sunday of playing Bao by myself, updating the blog, and cooking – an avocado/tomato sandwich for breakfast (doesn’t get much better than that) and my patented potato/onion skillet for lunch. Alas the potato onion dish did not go so well since I had to do it over the fire. I’ve done that before but this time I had to build the fire myself. So I’m out there working on it and Abraham (former Chaminade student who hangs out with us all the time – awesome kid) comes out and decides I’m having trouble. Which I wasn’t really – if I’d had a few more minutes I would have gotten it because I was going to do the exact same thing he ended up doing. But anyways, he helped me with the fire and ended up making it way too big. So the potatoes burned. Fail. But he was sweet enough to eat half of them with me as a “thank you” for helping lol. Walked to Gondwe’s with Chris in the afternoon because I needed some units for my phone. Enjoyed our time as always, talking about Rastafarianism and accidentally calling him P.J. (the name of one of our dogs). :) Came back in time to cook supper. Kat and Ily were coming over so there was a lot to prepare. I ended up being in charge of cooking the beans over the fire which turned into cooking the chipate (tortillas). We also made rice and a huge community-sized quesadilla – all over the fire! ‘Twas very fun. I’ve decided that I like cooking over the fire once it’s built. Seems more natural and peaceful. Plus the four of us were gathered around the fire in the dark, talking only when something came into our heads but otherwise just calm and quiet. Very nice. Had a great meal with Kat and Ily – it’s always nice to have guests to liven things up! I went over to the Brothers’ house afterwards to ask to borrow a car for the next day and ended up sitting with Beams for a while and chatting. Came back to watch “Dodgeball” with the group and then called it a night!

Slept in later than usual on Saturday which was awesome. Spent some time at the internet and then spent most of the afternoon watching various football games. Watched the first half of one at the Brothers’ house and then moved over to the staff room for the second half. Much to my dismay Man U. scored within the last 20 seconds of extended time. So obnoxious. Apparently it was just a terrible day all around for my football teams because Chelsea ended up losing too. John Terry got a red card and then it all just kind of fell apart. Pretty depressing lol. The actual act of watching the Chelsea game was even more fun than usual though. There were some Man U. fans around – Mumba, Liwewe, and Ng’ambi – who spent the game trying to convince me that they were in fact supporting Chelsea. Yeah right. But it was immensely fun play bickering back and forth with them. And to make things even more bizarre Kaluha switched over to saying that Man U. was the top team. Weird. But entertaining definitely. Especially since the bickering is nothing new… the cool part was that it was all in English (rather than me trying to piece things together) so I was a complete member in it.

After the game Molly and I headed over to Miracle to watch the variety show that was being put on for the YCS rally. I had promised Khumbo that I’d come to watch him dance and Molly had promised Revelation so we knew our attendance was a must. It turned out to be really fun! They were only letting in YCS members so when we showed up there were a ton of people crowded outside the windows. Squeezed our way in and found some space to stand and watch the teenage interactions lol. Because oh the boys were so excited that girls were around! Molly and I were a bit scandalized by the girls’ outfits and dance moves. I don’t know how we’re going to function in the U.S. since we’ve been in this conservative culture for so long. Above the knee and shaking hips?! Gee geepers. Ended up standing on the benches at one point because I was too short to see over the boys. And then the two of us laughed with hilarity as short little Kaluha had to do the same :) Molly wanted to leave eventually but Khumbo hadn’t danced yet so I hung out with the teachers. I’m so glad I stayed to watch because he was awesome! One of the best dancers I do believe and just a fantastic kid to chat with. Also got to see McPherson dance which was great too. Had a down moment when I got home and sat on the porch. Matt was great – he came out and listened to me cry and then we talked about everything for a long time. It was really nice because he and I don’t usually have that kind of relationship… but it was just what I needed at that moment so I was very grateful to him!

Woke up in the morning feeling pretty drained. The weird part was waking up to find students crowded all into our front lawn. Good morning Fred, student of mine. They held mass on our front porch/lawn for all of the YCS students and the community as well. It was actually really nice because we were in the shade and there was a breeze… much better than being trapped in the church. The priest actually irritated me quite a bit – very fire and brimstone.

Spent the rest of the day cooking supper because it was my turn. Had a terrible time of it because the power was out all day. So Chris taught me how to build a fire and then I put the beans on to cook. Because here there are no beans from a can. They are raw so you have to boil them for 3 hours. Not so bad if you have a stove, but on a fire it means you have to keep rebuilding. So yeah I put them on and then went over to watch football with Mumba in the staff room. Had a lovely time too. Came back at halftime to rebuild the fire and then back for the game. Power went out again so I went home and rebuilt the fire again. Awesome. Actually let me rephrase that, I tried to rebuild the fire. Fortunately as I was choking on smoke and cursing under my breath, Frank came out to inform me that the power had come back on. Thank goodness. So I got to finish the meal inside on the stove. Finished the pottage and made the rice just in time since the power went out as it was ending… not quite cooked but with the lid on we just let it sit and steam itself for a while longer. Meal turned out to be quite the success. Way too much food but somehow Chris managed to drain the pot.

Monday was Matt’s birthday! Whoot whoot! It was actually a pretty quiet affair – just had supper with Frank and Abraham. And then on Saturday we’re going out to Planet with some of the teachers – should be a fun time! Had my regular summer hut time. Talked for a while with Mr. Simkoko, who is new this term, so that was cool. Went home and had a picnic table lunch outside under the trees which was fantastic. As Matt noted, it was particularly great because the sweat would roll down your face and immediately be swept away by the breeze. Oh life’s little blessings lol.

After lunch we went into town for shopping, but I got dropped off at Lusubilo because I was having a meeting with Peter about the 2 Univ. of Dayton students who will be coming to volunteer for 10 weeks. Somehow I ended up being the one in charge of coordinating their arrival and stay so Monday was the time for me to hammer out their projects and housing. The meeting went well – jobs are in place for them so that’s a relief. And then after the meeting I walked for about 45 minutes (our bike is broken) to meet Madame Mwalweni to visit one of the host families (Madame is the other host). Met a creepy police officer along the way – I swear if I meet one more officer who abuses his power in order to hit on a white woman I’m going to scream – and eventually made it. Sat in on Madame’s bible study for a while as we waited for Mr. Kasaya (the host) to arrive and then hopped on a bike taxi to go to his house. Checked out the place to make sure it’s suitable for the volunteer and then spent some good times chatting with the family to make sure everyone was comfortable with everything. Fell in love with their adorable little son who laid under the table to touch my toes and then kept giving me shy smiles throughout the afternoon. I’ve definitely decided that we will be buddies. The wife was also fantastic – seems like she’ll be a real hoot! So yeah it was a very busy, exhausting day, but I’m glad that everything seems to have worked out well.

Eventually took my leave of them, a bundle of bananas under my arm as a thank you for visiting their home, and took a bike taxi halfway home. Got lucky and was picked up by Sarah, a teacher at a local primary school, who apparently thought I was Emily (thanks, Em!). Even though I had to tell her that no I was not Emily, she was still more than happy to give me a lift and I was immensely grateful not to be hanging onto the back of a bike as it bumped along Airport road.

Walked for a while with Beatrice, who was another woman in the car – lovely!, and then split off to take the shortcut home. Stopped at the Chaminade summer hut because I saw that Molly was around. And in return I got to listen in on the lecture she was giving the older Chaminade teachers about marriage. Oh so amusing lol. And then Muyila decided that all of the young, single teachers are “useless” because they “are not using the resources they have,” namely us volunteers haha. Clearly they have epically failed since they let Sarah and Emily slip away and are running out of time with Molly and me. Oh how I laughed. This hilarity increased as the 3 useless ones chose that very moment to arrive together in the summer hut. So Molly broke it to them not so so gently that she has no intention of marrying any of them. Kaluha and Kaunda gracefully accepted defeat, but Banda put up a fight. Love that guy – cracks me up every time I’m around him. And then Kaluha decided to put on a little drama of his own, choosing precisely the most embarrassing time to ask to talk to me alone. Oh how the older teachers loved that as Banda started hollering about Kaluha turning his attentions from Molly to someone else. Molly and I just sat there with mortified looks on our faces, unbelieving that things turned so quickly lol. But it was a pretty enjoyable evening.

Went home and enjoyed a lovely supper of nachos and cake with Frank and Abraham. Had my wits scared out of me as I saw a man creeping on our front porch after supper, who didn’t respond when Molly called out hello. Was relieved to find out that it was just Beams, though, guitar in hand, ready to sing a happy birthday song for Matt. So he joined us for cake and chatting and then I called it a night.

Tuesday morning was spent watching “Runaway Bride” and working on the library catalog. Big moment occurred as I finished as much as the catalog as possible… meaning that out of the 4,500 titles entered so far, I’ve given call numbers to 3,500. The rest I’ll have to pull off the shelves and check for content. But I’m pretty stoked because this means that I can start putting spine labels on the books.

After lunch Chris took me to the basketball courts to watch a game between 2 of the Chaminade hostels. Had a really fun time cheering for Khumbo’s team and chatting with Moses, who’s this really sweet tiny kid. Was pretty impressed as the match was very high scoring, 16-14, and Khumbo had two spectacular blocks. Lovely afternoon activity!

Spent some quality time in the summer hut afterwards, chatting with Mr. Muyila. Had a lovely bonding moment as I told him about being engaged. Now I don’t usually advertise this because it leads to a bazillion questions. In fact, he’s the first Malawian I’ve told about this. But he’s just great so I figured he’d be a good one to tell. Went to watch the football match after supper but it lasted until 11 pm so I pretty much slept through the whole thing :) Actually wouldn’t have even come back but a couple of the older teachers kept reminding me about it so I figured since they were making such an effort to invite me, I could at least come.

Very productive morning on Wednesday. Woke up and immediately did some laundry. Had summer hut time with all generation sectors. Walked to Gondwe’s with Chris to get a mineral. Fun times were had as we inadvertently taught them how to play hopscotch. Namely Chris and I played and then as we looked back, they too were trying it out. Very cute. Also created a fun ruckus as Chris attempted to pole vault over some children who were laying in the path trying to “hide” from us.

Got pretty frustrated with my community after supper. I’ve gotten to a place where I don’t particularly enjoy being at home. I go out and have an awesome time on campus and then it seems the moment I walk in the door the fun feelings just get sucked out of me as I’m either bored with their antics or feeling like I’m getting walked all over. Sooooo I’ve been tending to spend a lot of time with the Chaminade teachers and if that fails, watching movies in the room, both of which keep me feeling happy. But anyways, Wednesday night was just the boiling over point of that so I spent some time in the room and then went off to watch the Bayern vs. Lyon football match with the teachers. Great game even though the score was only 1-0. Should’ve been higher and it was pretty exciting so I was content.

Summer hut time on Thursday morning and then sat through their staff meeting so that I could hear that news about Mr. Nyanguru’s going away party. Afterwards I was invited to go with Kaluha and Banda on a trip to Lilongwe at the end of May. We’ll see if it actually happens and I’ll have to do some polling to see if that’s culturally appropriate – there were old teachers around when they mentioned it and none of them were scandalized so I think it might be ok? I don’t know – I think I get a lot more leeway since I’m foreign and thus expected to make mistakes. But I like the idea. They’re my two favorite young ones and I think they’d be a lot of fun. Plus I’m sure by May I’ll be worn out from teaching and needing a fun weekend away. But anyways, thought it was nice that they want me to come with them.

Watched “The Time Traveler’s Wife” after lunch and enjoyed it more than the first time, probably because I wasn’t stuck on comparing it to the book. Then returned to the summer hut because Banda and I had made plans to take pictures of him in my favorite pink shirt of his. But alas he never came. Had a lovely time taking snaps with my other favorite teachers though. Those old teachers turn into little boys, getting all excited when a camera comes out. Too cute.

Went to another basketball game with Chris but ended up leaving pretty soon into it because the boys were blocking my sitting view and I didn’t want to stand. :) So instead I went to watch the volleyball match with Matt and Molly where I could indeed lounge on the grass. Much more enjoyable. Ended up back in the summer hut with Matt because he wanted to help Br. Charles by adding some hype to the newly refurbished school truck, but we really just ended up joining the other teachers in admiring Munthali’s laptop. This worked out well since I got to admonish Banda who finally showed up. Had a great time though as he was in a chatty mood and thus walked me back to the house and sat with me on the porch for a good 45 minutes until our dinner guests showed up. I’ve officially decided that I really enjoy Banda. He’s always so happy and cheerful that you can’t help but feel better around him. Great time chatting.

Had to end eventually though as Mr. Wanda and his family arrived for supper. Wanda is the new headmaster so we figured it’d be a nice idea to have him over. It was fun time – he’s a nice man and was definitely chattier than he normally is in the summer hut so that was a good surprise. Got a package from Brittany after supper that pretty much made my night (thanks, love!) and then ended up sitting outside just looking at the stars for the rest of the evening.

Ended up accidentally sitting through the staff meeting again on Friday. They have them in the summer hut so they just kind of start all of a sudden and I’m stuck. This one wasn’t nearly as exciting. It is always interesting to hear the different teachers’ input though – can definitely form some opinions about peoples’ mentalities based on their comments. Gain a lot of respect for some, lose respect for others.

Spent most of my day in the summer hut since it was my last day of holiday and I wanted to enjoy it! Banda finally showed up in his pink shirt so I got to take my favorite picture with him. Since it was just before lunch he ended up escorting me home and sitting on our porch chatting with me and Chris again. Very fun. Especially when he decided to go home and Chris made up a song on the guitar just for him. So funny watching him dance his way down our path. Took a nap after lunch and then returned to the summer hut. Had a moment of horror as Chris came to tell me that 3 men had cycled 20 km to see me… and I didn’t recognize any of them. But then I realized that one of them was Kennedy, director of an NGO that the 2 UD volunteers will be helping. So had a brief meeting with them, hammering out more details and such. Glad to know that that project is also confirmed. Chris hung around the summer hut so we had our own little bubble as everyone else was talking in vernacular. Unfortunately (?) we were drawn back into the conversation as Ng’ambi decided to tell his story about dropping his cell phone into the pit latrine and fishing it out. Aaaarrrggghhh. Gross. And then the others continued to talk about floating feces and bathroom habits of various staff members. Really never thought I would listen to a conversation like that in the summer hut. Eventually everyone else disappeared for classes so I ended up sitting with Ng’ambi for a long while having a completely normal conversation. It was very nice actually since I’d never talked to him on my own for an extended amount of time. And I had some quality time with Mumba which was really nice. Love that guy.

Had a nice time with the community after supper. Matt made frozen chocolate covered bananas (we have 70 bananas in our pantry because we harvested our banana tree!). They were oh so good. Yum! So I think we’ve decided to use the bananas mainly for banana bread and the chocolate bananas….. no complaints from me! While washing the dishes they decided to teach me how to play beer pong since I have never played before (I know it boggles the mind how many things I missed in college lol). Played a practice round with empty cups and I didn’t do too terribly. Are planning to play for real on Saturday before we go dancing at Planet. Looking forward to seeing some Malawian teachers learn the skill. :) Afterwards we watched “Up” as a community and I managed to stay awake the whole time. Very cute movie! Although not gonna lie, pretty depressing for much of it. Cute though.