Dear friends and family,

Arrived at nearly midnight on Friday. Bobby picked me up from the airport and since it just happens to be so close to the dog track, Bobby thought that I should go get my poker fix. Honestly, really, honestly, I think on this one rare occassion when I had been traveling all day, I would have preferred just to be driven the short drive to Carlene's and crashed. But with no verbal objection from myself, Bobby and I went to the dog track and played poker until 3:15 am only to end up dead even. Or just maybe, plain dead. And I'm somewhat still on village time so of course, I woke up with the roosters crowing silently in my head the next morning.

After two days here, I'm trying to keep it simple... no car, no phone, hey, and no home YET! Carlene has graciously welcomed me into her home (as did so many of you) so I'm enjoying the AC, Mike's buttermilk biscuits from scratch, and that very special sisterhood and friendship that I've enjoyed with my buddy, Carlene for the last 23 years. Aubrey asked for help with the move of her wonderful boyfriend, Rob so I will rent a car and head to Gainesville in a couple days. I will be travelling to see my dear friends in Delaware (Sue Brown and Marianne) in nine days. I figure I can start resembling an American once I get back from that. Look for a job, get my old car back from Ashley that I gave to her in 2001 (that was already five years old and now has over 250k miles but still runs almost like a top), move back into my townhome on the 1st of September, and start buying everything I will need right down to silverware and dishes. But only what I need, not want. The 'wants' will have to wait.

I miss Belize and the people that I came to love. I miss my family in San Miguel that named their newest addition to the family, Aubriana, and call her Aubrey. I even miss the long, hot bus rides to get from one place to another...time to think, rest, pray. And, Roger, oh, how I miss him.

I had always wanted to serve in the Peace Corps and now I can check that off my 'bucket list'. Now I'm ready to move on, turn the page to the next chapter of my life. I vow to keep things much simpler, not get on the treadmill again, try not to use a credit card...embrace relationships, and take time for friends to do nothing much at all but be together. Don't know if these goals are attainable but I'm sure gonna try.

This will be my last blog. Thank you for sharing this experience with me, supporting my efforts from afar, and supporting my projects. I appreciate this more than you can imagine and am touched deeply within my heart.

God bless us all...love, tracy

Happy Birthday to Carol Pahl-- TODAY!!!!

Almost time to leave. I'm ready for air conditioning cuz these hot flashes are brutal!

I'm ready for a pedicure to disinfect, well, really, I need a bodicure. Think it would be best to soak in a bath of bleach.

The hair has GOT to go...has a filmy buildup of God knows what...needs a new start.

And I never even had the opportunity to say goodbye to my old arms and legs. One day, I woke up here and I thought they belonged to someone else. It was like wrinkled fabric that just hung with gravity.

I don't have a mirror but if I did, I'd choose not to look. Don't want to scare myself...cuz once I did and almost let out a cry. Who was that old lady in the mirror? Don't know...

I guess we all grow up some day.

I've enjoyed every year of my life. These last two years have been two of the best despite the outward appearance. I am so happy that I have lived out my 'dream' to serve in the Peace Corps.

Next dream might be the log cabin in the mountains or playing in the World Series of Poker.

I have so much to be grateful for and tops on that list is a beautiful family that has been exceptionally supportive while here. They don't see all the dirt, the wrinkles, and gray hair. I'm just their mom or their sister. I'm happy. I'm at peace.

God bless us all...love, tracy

P.S. Happy Birthday to my wonderful brother, Skip on the 23rd!!

As I am approaching the end of my Peace Corps service, I find myself shifting gears and thinking of coming home. My home is Florida—where abundance abounds, the sun shines most every day, and most people have most everything they want. The sun shines plenty here in Belize, so much so that I look for every opportunity of shade. But abundance and plenty is not part of the life of the typical Belizean. There will be some reverse culture shock, I'm sure. As most of you know, it has been a challenging but very rewarding experience. But if asked what were the most significant experiences, I think of three. In January, 2010 when we had the meeting to first discuss the possibility of a playground, we had everyone in favor of the project but only one volunteered to do the manual labor from the entire village. Thirteen months later, there were over 28 villagers helping with the playground project with no mention of compensation. This sense of 'volunteerism' and 'community was not evident the year before. Recently, I was talking to the former Village Chairman about my future plans to work at the clinic in Succotz and then on to home. He thanked me for my service here. But he also said that I had made the village a 'friendlier place'. WOW! That might not sound like much but I'm sure you have picked up on the nature of the Maya in previous blogs. And all of the PCVs in the health sector had agreed that my village was 'especially' Mayan. Every village has its own personality. Some are livelier than others. The village of Silver Creek just down the road sells beer and there are occassional parties. You won't find a beer in the my village. San Miguel has to be one of the most stoic, serious, borderline-grumpy group of people. The village knows that and seems to be ok with that label. But I have noticed more greetings on the road, more smiles, and laughter at the playground. Subtle changes, but I think, quite nice. The third is YOU! First there was the flood of seeds pouring into the Peace Corps office when I wrote of the widowed mother of eight who was hopeful that she could now sell her produce to take care of her family. Then, you raised enough money to pay for the first year of high school for Marcelino (my first host family's mom's youngest brother). It was the first time that anyone in their family had gone past the sixth grade. Then there were all the 'care' packages sent from home, unexplained deposits made in my personal bank account, many cards, books, letters of encouragement, and comments posted on this blog. Random acts that supported me and had me forge ahead when things looked pretty bleak. Then you raised enough money for me to purchase the bottle of medicine to innoculate 25 dogs in the village. You may remember that three dogs came to my house the very first week I was there, only to die. Nearly all the dogs in the village were afflicted with mange and intestinal parasites. I did not hear of the demise of ANY dogs once we started the medication. The dogs looked better, I'm sure they felt much better, and villagers started taking some interest in the care for their dogs. Then, the playground. Once the PCPP proposal was posted on the Peace Corps website describing our project, it took less than 6 weeks to raise the money. The average length of time for fundraising for these grants is upwards of three months. And this particular project was one of the more costly projects posted at the time. There were over 33 donors—family and friends—kind, generous, and caring. Aubrey's friends at the VA hospital in Gainesville decided to take on a separate swingset project up at the school. Now the children have a park AND a special play area at recess and before and after school. With your help while I was here in Belize, WE were able to make a difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God bless us all...tracy

With the end of my Peace Corps service in sight, I have invented my own version of service as to how I can best serve with my particular skill set. I like to think of it as my 'custom made' Peace Corps. I had talked to Peace Corps staff before I left for my vacation to Florida about a possible move to the Benque area. I admit that my motivating factor was to be closer to Roger. But I had met a dentist from El Salvador that was volunteering at the clinic in the nearby village of Succotz for several months. He was extremely excited at the prospect of a hygienist helping him out—to do prophylaxis and train the assistant there that did not speak any Spanish and he didn't speak any English. With my marginal Spanish, I would be able to help in many ways. So when visiting in Benque, I have done just that. None of the patients I have seen have EVER had their teeth cleaned before. Most of the people brush their teeth well so their hygiene is not all that bad. But years and years of tartar build-up take their toll as tenacious deposits cause severe periodontal disease with bone loss accompanied with bulbous and profusely bleeding gums. In my 37 years as a hygienist, I have seen maybe 10 people over 45 years old that had never had their teeth cleaned. Back in the states, I had the benefit of an ultrasound device (like an electric, water-cooled scaler), sharp instruments, suction for all the blood and debris, and comfortable working conditions. Not here. It's the hot, dry season here. Temperatures in the shade have been over 110 degrees. And the 'dry' merely refers to the fact that it is not rainy season yet but it's extremely humid on top of the soaring temperatures. No one and no place has air conditioning. And without going into detail (because Katrin chastised me for 'TMI') the hormones are still 'kickin in' and hot flashes are a way of life. From Roger's house, it's a four mile walk. I got a lift once. In any case, I arrive drenched and stay that way. I set up a portable dental chair that works rather nicely other than the hinge for the back support that gives way unannounced at least once during each person's 'session' leaving a fairly startled expression on their face despite my warning. I keep my knees under that portion of the chair to catch them from falling all the way to the floor and I've got the bruises to prove it. People that want to be seen by the dentist arrive at 8 and wait outside under a tree. Then one of the three of us goes out and gathers names and puts them on a list. The patients tell us what they are here for...either an extraction, a filling, or a cleaning. Then they patiently wait their turn which could be into the late afternoon. We have gloves and masks, prophy paste, and floss. We don't have a dental lamp so we use headlamps (makes it even hotter.) There is no suction so the patients are instructed to spit all their blood and saliva into a 'community' trash can with a plastic liner. The dentist and I share the same tray so we have to take turns using the high and low speed handpieces. We don't have sharp instruments and no sharpening stones to sharpen those instruments. (I think I might do better with a kitchen fork). Each patient is a major 'project' but there is no schedule. I can take all the time I need which is good as none of these people could be done within an hour. I have spent more than two hours on some and asked one to return another day to finish up. The whole thing ends up a bloody mess as you might imagine. But these people are the tough Mayan variety who never complain, don't even flinch. On the contrary, when we are finished they are most grateful even though my sweat has been dripping out of my gloves onto their faces, the chair has 'dropped' twice, and they need a transfusion. There is no charge for this torture. But their teeth are clean and they have been instructed how to care for them in the future so they might have a better chance of hanging onto them for a while. I also encourage them to get their teeth cleaned again if any other dental 'volunteers' come to the clinic, even if it's as soon as five or ten years down the road. Roger had brought a sharpening tool from Nebraska that he had used on his tools back home. Works great on dental instruments. That, alone, has saved the day, and my hands. God bless us all...love, tracy

I left Belize for my extended vacation in Florida with a small ´Wilson´soccer bag. In it, I packed one pair of shorts, one T-shirt, 6 pair of underpants, a bathroom sink, and a bedspread.

The trip was eventful visiting my two daughters and friends. Ashley, Aubrey, and Carlene treated me like royalty (it´s not JUST happening at Buckingham palace!!) I ate food that I had not had the opportunity to enjoy for quite some time, listened to music, watched TV, played in a poker tournament, played tennis and golf and even went to a movie with Ashley...things I greatly appreciated since I have done without. Almost heaven was a warm shower and a flushing toilet.

The time went much too quickly leaving me hungry to get back for more relaxed time with you.

I came back to Belize with an old suitcase of Aubrey´s filled to the brim with goodies for some friends in Belize. (The bag weighed over 75 lbs!!) My brother Skip, Kerry, Sue, Aubrey, Denise, and Chris all donated to the cause. This is sure to bring many smiles to many faces. Thank you.

I am so proud to be an American and part of a society so willing to help others less fortunate. I was happy lugging around that heavy bag :) :)

God bless us all...tracy

He is risen!!

I have been reflecting on my blessings this beautiful Easter morning. Years pass ... the sad farewells to friends, grandparents, my mom and dad and step-dad, and Bob. But because of that mild, soft spoken, golden hearted man that died on that cross this day for us, WE will have everlasting life. We will be reunited with those we love.

I am home in Florida for a visit before heading back to Belize. I have spent some time in Gainesville with Aubrey and her friends from work. I visited for four days in Jupiter and had the gift of meeting with several friends for lunches and dinners...even had a chance to play some tennis and golf. I massaged a few friends on one of the days. Now I am in Vero Beach visiting Ashley.

I am sure it's not terribly interesting hearing all about what I have been up to since I have been here so I will spare you the details. I would just like to share with you a comment that Aubrey made as I was giving her my itinerary before I left her place. "Mom, you have GOT to have the nicest friends in the world. You are so lucky."

I truly am. And so are we ALL!!

Thank you God, for blessing us all...love, tracy

Life in the United States is wonderful. We have everything at our fingertips. We can't wish for more. We are instantly gratified with nearly all of our whims. Most work hard and have earned all that they have and most have jobs so they can afford all life's necessities and some luxuries.

But there are some things in Belize that I think are better than 'how we do it back home'. Let me explain: People have no worries about 'mixed-matched' clothing. A plaid skirt looks great with a floral blouse as long and both are clean are pressed.

Girlfriends of all ages enjoy walking hand-in-hand. I LOVE that! We impose so many taboos in the states. (So, Carlene, look out!!)

Breast feeding is natural ANYWHERE. I have to admit that it took a little getting used to as breasts are viewed so differently back home. But it is such a natural and healthy part of life. I can remember breast feeding my children and feeling like I always had to hide. One hears very little crying from the infants and toddlers in Belize. They don't learn to cry for things they want because their food was always there for them any time, any place... buses, shops, walking down the street and just yesterday in Punta Gorda I saw a baby strapped to her young mom riding a bicycle and nursing. In my village, babies are breast fed while their moms are washing clothes at the river or while she's doing the cooking or cleaning. It's just the way it is.

I can hitchhike here like I did back in the States back in the early 70's. I love that feeling of freedom, I feel totally safe, and it saves on bus fares. I've met lots of interesting people with interesting stories...a bit of reliving my teenage years. And if you don't catch a ride, there's always the bus that will come soon—within minutes to a couple hours.

The children are extremely well behaved in the classroom. The climate within the classroom is very conducive to learning. There are very few disciplinary problems. The teacher is given the respect that I feel they rightly deserve. Their assignments are generally complete and on time. And their work appears to be done with painstaking attention to neatness and accuracy. I won't necessarily take a stand in favor of the 'lashings' they receive if the teacher feels their behavior warrants but something is working. Maybe a little fear of the rod isn't such a bad thing?!?

When children brush their teeth, they brush for at LEAST five minutes. They wash their hands often and for the length of time that it takes to sing 'happy birthday' twice. When they have a 'fresh cold', they carry a cloth that serves as a hankerchief in the event they may sneeze or to cover when they cough. They have been taught this by various health care workers and in the schools. They are motivated to stay clean because of the severe health implications if they do not. Cleanliness is healthfulness. And there is no restorative dentistry. If a tooth hurts, it is extracted so they try hard to avoid dental problems. (I'm not saying that the lack of remedial healthcare is a good thing but I believe the emphasis on prevention is excellent.)

Most everyone you meet lives in a humble abode that we would call 'shacks' back home. But they are 'quality' people that live in those shacks--intelligent, clean and immaculate despite the exterior appearance, many speaking 3 or 4 languages fluently, and seemingly to me, possessing the most incredible 'sense' of family. The life is hard and the children are so busy doing their chores that they don't seem to have the time or desire to fight with their siblings. They are just surviving and happy to have a brother or sister (or many) that is/are healthy and alive. And that demonstration of brotherly and sisterly love is seen all over the countryside—from the beaches of Dangriga where the Garifuna have settled, to the northern communities of the Spanish Mestizo, to the streets of Belize City and the Kriol, and to the jungles and mountains of the Maya Mopan and K'ekchi.

Time—a double edged sword. When I first arrived in my village, I was extremely challenged by my American work ethic. And our American employers love that we have that ethic. And that ethic is perhaps why we are such an 'advanced' country. But before I left the States in August, 2009, I felt like a mouse on a treadmill. I was working for Dr. Gandhi doing my marketing/liasion work, working for Dr. Hart doing dental hygiene a couple days a week, and still doing massages after work. And I loved the schedule. And don't get me wrong, I still found time to play tennis with my buddies, go fishing, and play my pub poker and poker tournaments. Then I came to Belize and San Miguel and wondered what I was supposed to be doing??? It took TIME to figure out what to do with my time and eventually, I did and feel like I have accomplished a few good things in my village. Back at home, we make it an art to multi-task—I think Joann has her Ph.D. in multi-tasking. We cram so much into the day. I know that all too well. But I'm off the treadmill now and don't want to get back on ...Peace Corps has allowed me to do this. TIME is now my friend. When I come home from Peace Corps, I would like to take TIME to really get to know each one of my friends better—not glaze over the surface while involved in all kinds of other activity. I don't drink coffee but maybe I should learn how. And I'll plant a rose bush. I want TIME to build better relationships. Isn't that really the only thing that matters when we go to our grave?

I dearly want that time with you.

God bless us all...love, tracy

I started my garden mostly out of boredom. When we were between projects, I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything. So, I started a garden with the seeds that you graciously sent. Little did I know that this would be perhaps the single-most sustainable project imparted to my village of San Miguel. The hardest part about starting my garden was getting the soil prepared back in October. The garden area I selected near the house was pretty much an lush jungle. So I spent countless hours with the machete trying to uncover something that resembled the ground. After a week of turning the soil over, tilling til manageable (remember, this soil is like clay—the clay the ancient Mayans made their pottery from) I felt like I finally had the soil adequately prepared. I started planting. And now at this writing, I boast a healthy looking garden with tomato, green pepper, jalapeno pepper, habenero pepper, cilantro, carrot, romaine lettuce, cabbage, onion, and sweet corn. It's been a great way to talk to the men in the village as the gender divide within San Miguel (and apparently all Mayan villages) is pronounced. The men have their work (the farms outside the village) and the women have theirs (washing the laundry and dishes in the river, cooking, and tending to the children). You never see the men and women working on anything together. That's why it has been a bit unusual when I have helped the men dig and build latrines. The men would never come over to my house to visit like the women and children often do. But the men WILL stop by and talk to me in the garden and ask questions about all the vegetables. After all, THEY are the farmers but they grow only corn (for tortillas), rice, beans... zilch, nothing else. My garden has sparked interest so now with a little help, there are 3 other BEAUTIFUL gardens in the village...all close to my house. They had no idea what most of the vegetables were and how to eat them. The concept of 'salad' is foreign. One neighbor brought over a radish that they had grown to the size of a watermelon and wanted to know what to do with it??!! (Hell if I know!??!) Many chuckles!! We have done mini impromptu cooking classes so the ladies don't overcook the vegetables zapping the majority of nutrients from them. Salad remains foreign as I don't have them quite 'sold' on that idea as yet! Males and females can now be seen working TOGETHER in their garden... fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, husbands and wives ... very new, very different, and very fun! A couple days ago, I visited Candelaria's garden and I was commenting on how her garden looked so much better than mine??! (A garden 'pep talk' but I DO think her garden looks better). I was thinking that I might need to add a little nitrogen or potash or such to my garden. But, NO! Her father enlightened me that none of the girls are allowed even to the gate of their garden when they have their periods. And he asked if I go in my garden when I have mine? Well, yeah, so now I know what the problem is... !!! Life is simple here...very few rules but some very important ones, I guess... Today, a little seven year old boy came by my house and asked if I would come see the garden that he is working on. So off we went. His mom, Margarita, and his sister, Brittany told me that he put up the fence all by himself and started growing papaya and banana plants/trees. (By the way, fences are a MUST as the pigs will eat anything and everything and the chickens LOVE the seed!) He was wondering if I had any cabbage, sweet pepper and cilantro seeds. I do. So we walked back to my house where I gave him the seeds and a seed tray to start the seedlings. He asked questions about how often to water the seeds and how much soil to put in each little compartment. The young boy, Edlin, although seven but doesn't look much over five. But he has started the family garden and has ideas of eating healthy and selling what the family doesn't need. It's a different culture for sure and there's much we can learn from each other... God bless us all...love, tracy

Friday, March 4 had me up at the crack of dawn with shovel in hand and four eager helpers doing last minute 'grading', raking and burning leaves and dead wood... general site preparation. Roger was up before the crack of dawn (4 am) making his way to Pine Lumber in Georgeville to hop the truck with two men and bring the enormous load of lumber the 5 hour trip to San Miguel. They arrived shortly after noon and were hungry so I took the whole group to the Pops (my old 'host family') where my mom and sister had prepared the traditional rice and beans with chicken lunch for the 8 of us. Delicious! We walked the short path back to the playground site and started unloading the lumber and some pre-assembled pieces. After the bulk was unloaded for the playground site, we all piled in the truck and made our way up to the top of the hill where the school is situated. Aubrey's friends at the VA hospital in Gainesville had raised money as their Christmas project to fund a swingset in San Miguel by the preschool and infant I and infant II classrooms. I would be hard-pressed to think of anything that could have been more rewarding and exciting than what happened next... (well, maybe the birth of a grandchild??!!?) As the huge flat bed truck made its way up the hill, the children that are normally so perfectly behaved and disciplined could not help themselves. They ran to the doors waving and cheering seeing all this stuff being delivered for THEM!! The children were yelling, 'Miss Tracy, Miss Tracy!' These kids were beside themselves with excitement. The toughest part was when the school day was over and they oh, so wanted to start playing but had to wait til completion. March 5! Up before dawn and over to the park and school to finish up. The kids waited patiently while I had my crew in high gear working to the rhythm of the children's anticipation. Both children and volunteers were ear to ear smiles as the last bolt was fastened. Then Miss Tracy said, “ok, you can play!” I think you can see for yourselves in the pictures I've included the wonder of it all...and none of this was possible without all my Peace Corps Volunteers back home...YOU! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The children of San Miguel are waving to you, saying Tojo kre! (Thank you in K'ekchi) God bless us all...love, tracy P.S. March 5 happens to be my closest friend on the planet's birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUE BROWN!!! We celebrated YOUR day in a BIG WAY!! All the children were given one FREE 'ideal' which is a flavored ice pop making it a grand, 'ideal' celebration!!

Dear Friends,

This will be quick as I have a meeting in a short while. But just HAD to let you know that the playground construction started this past weekend.

Things went as smooth as glass as Roger had done a great job preparing for the weekend. His biggest challenge was keeping ahead of the hard working Mayan men that didn't bat an eyelash when it came to digging holes and pouring concrete. Roger, a contractor and carpenter by trade, let the men know that he had a lot to learn from them and the way they mixed and formed concrete.

The RCP teachers made a massive lunch and the men (all 16 of them) ate heartily. We finished up the day's work in a driving rain but I don't think anyone noticed.

The best part of it for me, other than the first leg of this job being expertly done, was the enthusiasm and good time that was had by all the VOLUNTEERS!!!!

I smell something different in the air in San Miguel...what could it be??

God bless us all...tracy

I took a schedule of the playground/park construction plan over to the Village Chairman's house last night. Because it was raining and I didn't want to muddy his floor, we spoke outside on his porch. He was happy to see the organization of plans/dates and that we have many volunteers already signed up for the various projects related to this construction.

Today, there is a crew over at the park site doing the final clearing of the land. There were several large tree stumps yet to remove and the whole lot had to be chopped (machete) and then cut very short with a weedwacker. (This will encourage grass growth rather than 'jungle' growth). At 2 pm, high school boys as part of their community service will be taking sand and gravel (via wheel barrel) up a 'killer' hill to unload at the school site where Aubrey's hospital friends donated funds for a swing set. Tuesday afternoon, I have 4 men taking 42 buckets (5 gallon) about a quarter mile to the park site. Roger arrives Friday and will mark where the footings will be dug the following morning. That Saturday, we dig the holes and pour the concrete for the footings. Two weeks later, I have men lined up to help unload the truck with the tremendous amount of lumber. The next day, March 5, is the actual construction. I have ladies preparing lunches for the crews on both Saturdays. This is really finally happening and all thanks to you and your kind support of this worthwhile project!!

But I'd like to share a little side story... A year ago, January 21, 2010, we had a meeting to discuss plans for the playground that included the Village Chairman (like a mayor), the Alcalde (like a judge) and other interested villagers. Everyone was in favor of the idea of a playground for the children. But when we discussed the labor involved, the Village Chairman spoke up as the representative of the men in the village and said that the men would not help unless they were paid for their work. You might be feeling right now how I did last year?? I remember thinking, 'my goodness, here is a project being donated by philanthropic people from various parts of the world. It has been designed for them at no cost and all the materials and tools are being paid for by the donors. The very least they could do would be the minimal labor??? To say the least, I was a bit disheartened. There was one lone man, his name is Felix, that stood up and said that he would volunteer to help build. This was for their children and he wanted to be a part. But Felix stood all alone.

I decided to forge ahead with the project anyway and hoped that time would change attitudes. Well, it changed mine. After living in the village for well over 16 months, I have come to understand their reality. These people aren't poor as they have food and a home (that they grow and build). But they have little or no money because there are no paychecks. So back home, we would consider them poor. But every year when school starts, there is a registration fee of $300 per child plus books. Older children (ages 16-25) leave the village and search the country for a job and when they work, they give every penny possible back to the family so other siblings can attend school. It's an ongoing strife. So now, it's easier for me to understand when there is a project that comes to the village, it is often viewed more as an opportunity for income versus the potential good that the project might offer.

I think I have had a shift in my attitude and have become more understanding of their struggles. They, on the other hand, have witnessed in me this concept of volunteerism. If you recall in the blog, 'The Other Side of Peace Corps' I introduced you to a young man in the village, Mauricio. We had worked together on several projects and he was always so willing to help out. Hopefully, adulthood won't ruin that 'sense' for him when he has a family of his own and carries his family's financial burden. But maybe that's the hard core reality of their difficult existence...I'm not sure. What I DO know is that I've gone from house to house this week soliciting help for this playground and the attitudes have amazingly changed from one year ago. Of course, the ones I have gone to are ones that I have established a rapport, perhaps even a friendship. But not only are they willing, they are excited about working to make this playground a reality for their children and not ONE has asked to be paid.

So which is the major success story?? The construction of the playground or a change in their sense of community?

If I have accomplished nothing else, this paradigm shift in attitude gives me a glimmer of hope for a subtle, but very positive, change.

God bless us all...love, tracy

As I made my 7 1/2 hour trek last weekend to visit Roger in Benque, I had to change buses in Belmopan. The James Bus Line that runs between Punta Gorda and Belize City always carries a load but there is usually a seat for everyone. But the bus lines that run from Belmopan to Benque are ALWAYS crowded. Everyone pushes and shoves jockeying for position to try to secure themselves a seat.

So I arrive in Belmopan and get in line for the next 'Benque' bus. I was feeling fairly confident that I would make it on as I was only the fourth or fifth person in line. The bus arrives and some passengers get off in Belmopan and I make my way to the door of the bus. It's just a part of life with the pushing and shoving. A year ago, I would let everyone go ahead of me. Not today! If I didn't make this bus, I would be late for a dinner engagement with Roger and a customs officer that we had befriended. So without being overly physical, I forged ahead and only let about 15 get in front of me.

I get on the bus and quickly see that all the seats are taken. Shucks! I'm feeling pretty dejected as this was the ONE time that I minded being shut out! (They let people stand in the aisle of the bus but only after it has left from the terminal). I'm sure the disappointment showed on my face as I dejectedly turned around and headed toward the door. Then I hear, "Miss! Miss!" I turn around and see this young Garifuna girl had climbed on her mother's lap to make room for me. She said, "Come here and sit"...

This young girl's name is Shadae. Shadae is only 8 years old...has two older sisters and an older brother. There is no dad as mom tells me that he was killed 9 years ago in a boating accident right off the shore of Belize City (hadn't I heard??) where he was 'chopped up' by the prop of the boat after he had fallen in the water. The mom (Alma) and Shadae were about as pleasant and upbeat as two people could be. Mom commutes all the way from San Ignacio to Belize City (3 hour bus ride each way) everyday but Sunday to run her business. She sells used clothing, shoes, anything... We talk, share stories, but mostly I'm just loving Shadae. Shadae tells me how she is doing in school (great!) and what she has learned that day... very animated. Mom has seen to it that all four children have remained in school...the oldest boy is to graduate from high school this year. I know we take graduating from high school as a minor achievement back home but here...it is HUGE!! (My village of San Miguel BOASTS of THREE graduates last year!! It's a big deal!!)

So you know me...I instantly think of all the clothing that we 'toss' back home in the States...stuff we don't even bother to take to Goodwill... So, I would like you to consider saving discarded and old (but clean) clothes and I will pay for postage and we will start helping this widow and her four children!! (No one would WANT my clothes right now ...you would all laugh if you saw me this very minute!) But I'm thinking of Aubrey, Joann, Lina, Betty, ANY of you that might have something no longer useful or you're tired of!! What a nice (and EASY) way to help this family?? When I get back, I will happily pick up your stuff twice a year and mail to Alma (and Shadae)!!

Many of you have written at various times asking what you can do to help me better serve? I have GOT to have the nicest bunch of friends on the planet!! I feel like you have ALL been doing Peace Corps service right alongside of me. I certainly couldn't have managed this without your love and support. And here is another fairly simple way that WE can make a difference in this lovely family's life.

A little girl makes room for a stranger and now we can help her family... 'pay it forward' for sure...

God bless us all...love, tracy

Most of the time I sit at this computer and have something mulling in my mind that's ready to put in words...this time however, I was just coming to our computer lab in the village to check emails...not to write a blog but just HAD to tell you what just happened...

I was walking over to the Village Chairman's house and I could see that between the thatched huts, Mickey (my favorite dog in the village) was chained up at his house. Once he saw me, he started crying...howling. That abated for a moment while I was out of view. Then he spotted me on the road between the next two thatches...more howling. I ran into Mauricio on the road and was chatting with him about one of our projects when I turned around to see Mickey. He had his collar on. He had his collar still attached to a heavy duty chain. And the collar attached to the chain was attached to a heavy 12inch by 8inch by 6inch cement block that he was pulling through the grass, onto the gravel road, making his difficult way to me.

WHO says that dogs aren't man's best friend?? I am feeling sooo loved right now!

God bless us all (again, doggies, too!)...tracy

I am fortunate enough to have three very special friends that all have birthdays today--Jan 3!!

Happy Birthday Vinnie Schoenfelder!! I met Vinnie and his wife, Marianne back in 1976...Vinnie is better known as 'Marianne's husband' and doesn''t mind shining his own little glow in her shadow. (As her friend, I hung in her shadow and loved it!) Vinnie was an 'athlete extraordinaire' in a northern New Jersey high school and went on to play college baseball. In the most delightful of ways, when sitting with Vinnie for more that 10 minutes you are bound to hear the replay of his Glory Days... Vinnie and Marianne were Bob's and my best friends back in some of the best days of my life. Bob and Marianne were the jokesters and Vinnie and I provided them a good audience. Fond memories...A year after Bob died, Vinnie suffered a massive heart attack at the way-too-young age of 40. I remember driving down to Roanoke with Sue Brown to be with Marianne and Vinnie. The three of us girls climbed on the bed with the convalescing Vinnie...the doctor came in and asked if Vinnie was trying to have another heart attack??!? And because we obeyed 'doctors orders', Vinnie is celebrating his 64th (??) birthday today. Vinnie, so glad you decided to hang around a lot longer...love you!

Happy Birthday, Bobby Downs!! Bob and I met Bobby Downs (a golf professional in Hilton Head, South Carolina) the year after Bobby had graduated from Ferris State in Michigan (well known for it's golf academy and golf management courses). My husband, Bob had talked to Bobby about trying to teach me how to golf (a rather hopeless endeavor). Bobby Downs was patient and tried hard (he really did!) but as I said, it was pretty hopeless. There were a few moments of 'greatness'--potential, I guess you could stretch it? Anyway, we came back every year (as we had a timeshare there) and I took more lessons from Bobby. The year that Bob was diagnosed with his brain tumor, we took Vinnie and Marianne and Sue Brown with us...Bobby Downs was so distraught that his buddy Bob was dying, he made sure that we had everything we needed on the golf course...including free golf. After Bob had passed away, three of my bestest buddies, Carlene, Sue Beale, and Sue Brown began a 22 year tradition of gathering for the week of timeshare. And over all these years, Bobby Downs has taken care of us...we figured we have saved well over $20,000 in green fees. Thank you Bobby...you are the BEST! Don't think Bobby is following this blog but just in case, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Bobby

Happy Birthday Susan Dent!! Those of you that know Susan Dent would never forget her!! She is a force, a freak of nature, an amazing woman...Way before there was the 'Survivor' show on TV, there was this sports/adventure/nature event called the Raid Gauloises that is held yearly at varying remote places on this planet. A team consists of five members and had to include at least one female. (Guess you know who was the female was!!) Yep, Susan plus three Navy Seals and Mark Burnett (founder of the TV 'Survivor' obviously inspired by this event...) That year, the event took place in Madagascar that started with parashooting out of a plane, navigating treacherous mountain terrain in frigid temperatures, crossing desert plains in heat exceeding 115 degrees, paddling over 100 miles and walking well more than that with all their gear. Had they not made one critical navigational error (because they were in first place at that point), they may have taken home the gold. Just finishing the race in an unbelievable accomplishment as more than half the teams entered from all over the world don't cross the finish line. If any member of the team has to be medevac, the team no longer qualifies for competion. After twelve days, Susan's team finished 11th out of the 40 that crossed the finish line out of the 85 teams that had entered. Years later, she picked up a tennis racquet for the first time and was an instant ace! I know that better than most as I had the good fortune to be her tennis partner. My best fortune was to be her friend.

So January 3rd is a pretty special day...love you all and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

God bless us all...tracy

Dear family and friends,

Ashley was so happy to text me to tell me about her Christmas bonus and that she just couldn't wait to deposit money in mom's account.

Aubrey's Christmas package to mom arrived today in Belize with wrapped goodies that I will save til Christmas morning. Her group of contemporaries at the VA hospital decided to make Aubrey's mom's Peace Corps playground THEIR Christmas project this year. They reached their goal yesterday and were so excited to pass on their generous gift to the children of San Miguel for a separate swing set next to the primary school.

Katrin made the trip to Belize for five days decked out in a Santa's hat and carrying stockings for Roger and myself with goodies and necessities... a lot of effort and expense...a warm demonstration of kindness and friendship.

I have received emails from many of you passing on wishes for a joyous Holiday Season and sharing life back home...from work to tennis to poker :)

It is Christmastime... and that just seems like the time for giving. But being a Peace Corps Volunteer doesn't lend itself to much, if any, disposable income... so that part of the equation, the 'giving back', for me is missing. It is humbling to have so little and most of the time it doesn't bother me at all. But at Christmas, it is a bit sad for me to not be able to give my children a single present. But, when I talk to them and listen to their stories, I realize that I must have given them something over the years...something that wasn't wrapped under the tree..something without a price tag. Because these three children have discovered that giving back of themselves to this planet is perhaps the greatest gift of all.

So, no Christmas tree here, no lights, no hustle and bustle at the Malls, no gift giving or receiving... it's pretty simple. All that energy for the busy holiday season is not needed in a third world country.

But it makes me think of what is really important... And for me it is that we are all brothers and sisters... not very different at all...and that we all want peace.

I have no gifts to bring but my sincerest wish... Peace on Earth...Goodwill towards Men. Merry Christmas and love from Belize...

God bless us all...tracy

What a wonderful surprise to go to my gmail and see a message from Diana that said we reached our goal!!! That last push wasn't a push at all...it was Katrina's STORM SURGE!! Holy cow! So very, very excited and I am filled with gratitude for the help from family and friends...thank you ALL so very much.

I will keep you posted on the progress...not even sure how the funds get here but I'm sure I will hear shortly.

Also, Peace Corps doesn't divulge the names of donors or the amount of contribution so I have no way of individually thanking those who participated. But I know this was a group effort whether in thought or thought and deed! So thank you to each and every one of you.

Aubrey has a sister playground project going on through her VA Hospital in Gainesville. If you missed out on all the fun, just call her 308-0417 or write to: Aubrey Hall, 800 NW 19th Avenue Unit D, Gainesville, FL 32609

Happy Holidays!! You certainly made mine..

God bless us all...tracy

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry to bother you and I know many of you have been sooooo generous with your support of my project in my village of San Miguel to build a playground for the children.

I checked the amount that we need to reach our goal and it's only $305!! Problem is we seem to be stuck there so I am appealing to those of you that may want to donate but haven't yet. The VA hospital in Gainesville where Aubrey is working has decided to support Aubrey's mom in her Peace Corps service for their Christmas project!! What they would like to do is fund a single swingset to be built at the school! We will already have had the gravel and sand donated and will have the 'labor force' in tact so this sounds like a great idea. I'm telling you this so that you know that if we get so fortunate as to reach our goal and possibly surpass it, the additional funds would be funneled into this sister project. San Miguel will have many smiling faces, I believe!!

Conversely, as I mentioned before, if we DON'T reach our goal, all your donated monies are pooled into a separate Peace Corps fund, which I think, stinks. The money that you have donated for my project may be used for other projects. Please, let's not let this happen...

You can click onto this address www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=535-151 and you will go directly to my project in San Miguel. Thanks so much! We can do this, I'm sure..

God bless us all...love, tracy

I am happy because things are happening. The PCPP grant goal has almost been reached. Thank you, thank you! When that happens, we will begin the process of constructing a playground here in San Miguel. We recently received funding for cleaning and painting the school and installing six trash receptacles in the village. Five latrines have been constructed so now every family has a latrine. Four gardens have been started and we are all working together for the success of each others gardens. With this new awareness comes nutrition classes and I hope , exercises classes (but not likely due to lack of interest) Sewing classes for the ladies and a second computer camp for the children are in the works. My most recent project is trying to contact the Ministry of Health and Education to see WHO can replace the asbestos roof in one of the classrooms causing a critical health threat for the Standard VI (seventh grade) students. So you can see, much to do and much getting done! That feels good...

But the other side of Peace Corps service are the friendships...the human connections ... There is one young man in the village, Mauricio, that came to me months ago and said, “I love my village and I want to volunteer to make it a better place”. With this kind of attitude, we have set out to make things happen. It is refreshing in a culture where much has been given to them (mostly because of severe need but now, partly because they have become accustomed to the handouts, the projects, the financial aid from countries all over the world, not just the United States.) But here is Mauricio, still in high school, but ready to reach for his dreams and the dreams of his K'ekchi people. I LOVE this guy. We initially 'bonded' back in June when he was supposed to help me with something and I expected him at my house at 8am. But he text me to say that he would be later, that with the torrential rains from the night before, his firewood was drifting away. I asked him if he needed help. He text back that that would be great! So for the next four hours, he paddled his little handmade dinghy through the flooded bush collecting his wood and I carried each log, one by one the quarter mile to his house through knee deep mud. That's NOT easy!! Ever since, we have been helping each other...

Another friendship is Ruthilia. On a day back in January, I was riding the James Bus north from Punta Gorda. A man and his young daughter boarded the bus and since there were no seats together, the father sat a few rows up and his daughter sat next to me. We proceeded to talk...she was an eleven year old Maya K'ekchi girl from the village of Bella Vista (about 45 min bus ride north of me). We had a delightful conversation and when she was ready to get off at her village, she asked if she could have my cell phone number. Since then, there have been multitudes of texts, a few phone calls, I visited her village and met her family, and then she came to San Miguel and spent three nights here in the village with me. She has a golden heart, a sweet personality, and is driven academically. She is quite proud to tell me that she is at the top of her class. (During the year, the students are told their ranking within their class.) She has a dream of becoming a teacher. I foresee a lifelong friendship.

Then there is Mickey...my favorite dog in the village. Spirited, loyal, loving... a great friend!

There are many friends in the village but I'm a pretty private person. I think I am regarded as helpful and kind. I learned long ago not to attend church because that's the chief polarizing factor in our 'two-church' village. I had gone to one and then attended a wedding at the other and MAN, did I cause an uproar! No more...

I am happy to report that I have more Belizean cell phone numbers in my phone than Gringo numbers...I think I have integrated nicely... not only in my village but particularly on the roads of Belize.

God bless us all...love, tracy

Things have been pretty busy in the village. The best news is that we have almost reached our goal for the playground. It is a sizeable amount so therefore I was never convinced that we would meet our goal but now we are down to the last $600 so I'm sure we will be successful...then the fun begins...Can't thank you enough for your outpouring of love and support. Once we reach the goal, the funds come directly here and we can begin the process of ordering materials and having them delivered here...then construction...lots of planning and preparing but should go smoothly with Roger overseeing construction (That's what he did back home before Peace Corps) All the villagers are onboard for clearing the land and the actual construction! Again, thanks so much!!! I will be sending you pictures of our work!

I'm at our computer lab in the village and things are really busy in here right now. But had to write TODAY because it's my good friend, Carlene's birthday!! Hope it's wonderful...I will call you sometime today and sing! Bet you can hardly wait!!

Hope all is well with everyone. I am so grateful for the friendships I have back home. Can't wait to see all your beautiful faces SOON!! I love it here but also miss home terribly...so see you soon!

God bless us all...tracy

¡¡¡Queridos amigos un otra vez!!!

OK!!! One day later and I´m behaving myself!

Just checked the status of your donations toward our goal...WE ARE ALMOST HALF THE WAY THERE!!! Thank you so much...I´m feeling like we can do this and I SOOOOOO appreciate your support.

Any of you that still would like to contribute, go to http://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=535-151

and it will take you right to my project.

Apparently, Hurricane Richard made landfall right in Belize City as a Category I last night. There is zero television coverage here in Mexico so I have no idea of damage. Hope they fared ok. Back in Florida it would be minimal but Belize isn´t built like a Chevy! Let´s hope for the best.

God bless us all...tracy

¡¡¡Queridos amigos!!!

Ok, so this is only the second time in my life when I have inbibed alone! But the other time was also during my Peace Corps experience so I better watch the trend, huh? I only had one margarita but it went straight to my head. It just seems like the kind of afternoon to enjoy a little cocktail but it´s not anywhere close to 5 o´clock here but maybe somewhere? ...I was told by Peace Corps to leave Belize a day early and head to Mexico where Bobby is due to arrive mañana! I drink to the fact that I traveled the 15 plus hours and made it here shortly after midnight. So, I´m here in Mexico and so I drink to my son´s possible arrival! I say ´possible´because Belize is expecting a Category I or possibly II hurricane late tonight or early tomorrow. So I drink to Hurricane Richard. Cancun should not be affected too much other than wind and rain?? So, I sure hope I will see my wonderful son tomorrow!! I drink to the fact that I am alone where everyone here in Playa del Carmen seems to be with someone they love!! (I miss Roger!) Maybe you just notice that type of thing more when you walk alone? I drink to all the Americans here in Mexico that stand out because of their brisk pace...Mexicans (and definitely Belizeans) walk more like they are enjoying the scenery, their vacation, perhaps even their lives... I have learned to stop and smell the roses...enjoy the journey...not be attached to the end result. It has been a good lesson.

I would MUCH prefer to be here with YOU enjoying a margarita...

And I also drank because the waiter told me it was Happy Hour and that margaritas were only 20 pesos!! (That´s just a little more than one dollar!!) My total bill for lunch and drink was $6.27!!¡¡¡!! Cheers!

God bless us all...tracy

Peace Corps Belize contacted me yesterday that my Peace Corps Partnership Program grant application has finally been posted on their website.

This is the proposal for the construction of the playground in San Miguel. If you are interested and/or able to contribute, you can do so by visiting the website at

www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=535-151

All monies go directly to this project of mine. Your help is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much

As always, God bless us all...tracy

Today is October 6th and Cristina Miller's birthday. Happy Birthday Cristina!! Yo Yo's (Joanna) birthday was the 1st and Nancy's is the 14th! Happy Birthday to you ALL!!

It is a day like this that gives us cause for celebration. You ALL are such good friends that I thank the good Lord every day for your friendship. For instance, Ron and Cristina moved into my townhome when I was leaving for the Peace Corps and agreed to rent my place for the entire time I was away. They had to pack up all their furniture and belongings and move it all two feet next door!! Who does things like that??!? Ron and Cristina!

Since I have been here there have been countless cards, letters, and packages from Florida and Delaware. It always seems timely that when I'm struggling a bit here, I go into town and check for mail and one of you has sent something...never fails...Thank you so much.

Peace Corps has been very different than what I was expecting. In theory, it's an incredible organization. But as an older volunteer with more life experience than I care to mention, I would love to see some changes in the organization so we can better serve. Maybe when my time is up I will have a chance to express my thoughts on ways to improve. For right now I'm just doing my own version of PC and it's working for me. If I hadn't been able to reinvent my role here I'm sure I would be home by now...

The weather has finally broken with less heat and humidity. Bobby is planning a trip here around the end of October so it should be a little more reasonable for him to handle. He is flying into Cancun (cheaper) and because Bobby is not really big on long bus rides we may stay in the north part of this little country. I doubt we will get down here to my village. I'm so excited about him coming!!

Happy to report that I have treated 7 dogs to date with the medicine that you bought for them! THANK YOU!!! Blackie, Brownie, Sleepy, Mickey, Jake, Eddie, and Sophie!! I had taken the medicine to the neighboring village of Colombia to treat a dog that I had seen there on the steps of the church when I passed by on the bus into town. Unfortunately, I was 2 days late. Let's hope that's the last dog that dies while I'm here because of parasites and mange!!

Project update: Still waiting to hear if my PCPP project has made it out of the PC HDQTS in Washington, DC. Is so, some of you will be getting a packet in the mail asking for help. Anyone that would like to participate will be able to do so by visiting the website. (More info to follow) I also have another project where we are trying to raise money to intall trash receptacles and paint the primary school in the village. I know this may sound like a minimal project but as you know, trash breeds bacteria and disease. The school needs a facelift...mold, mildew and peeling, crusty paint.

Critter update: Yesterday, I place moth balls on the ledge where the bats sleep and this morning there was only one (usually there are 8 or more). Too early to say for sure but I'm hopeful this will take care of that problem. No scorpion or tarantula sightings this week. Pretty quiet on the western front...

Medical update: Add to the list--a rash on the back of my right leg. Nurse Jackie said it sounds like a fungal thing...not surprising with the humidity. Pretty itchy, red, raised, and crusty. Lovely!! Hormones in check. General appearance...old and saggy. Hey, it's fun getting old!! Ha Ha!!

Children update: Ashley learning and earning a lot in her job as a tax attorney in Vero Beach. Would prefer to be working for a larger firm with more professionals her age. She has been taking care of my little girl, 'Chunk', along with her two Maltese's. Needless to say, she stays very busy. Bobby and Nicole are considering moving to North Carolina early next year, hence the big reason he wants to come visit now. He will continue taking care of my Duchess until he leaves at which time I may have to ask Sally (she had volunteered) if she could take Duchy until my return. Aubrey is very busy working 12 hour shifts at the VA Hospital. She has trouble losing patients...takes it pretty hard. She and Jeff appear to be over...picking up the pieces and moving on. Still deciding on specific area she would like to pursue in her post grad studies for her nurse practioner license.

Relationship status: Beyond my furthest dreams...so happy about loving and being loved by this amazing man.

Guess that about wraps it up for now. Hope all is well with you. Hope the new tennis season brings lots of victories but more importantly, lots of good socialization afterwards. Don't think it will be on anyone's epitaph that they won or lost last week's match. Betty, can't wait for one of your incredible home cooked meals. Thought of Nay Nay (Denee) this week as Alabama slaughtered the Gators. Congratulations! Must be stressful right now in the Massie household with Alabama #1and Ohio State #2! I heard the Dolphins had a rough game on Monday Night Football. Ugh...and the Patriots, no less! Haven't heard anything about Pete's Jaguars but here's hoping it's ALL good. Wish Pete, Betty, and Katrin pocket aces when two ahead of you went all in and they share the 4 Kings! Hope my friends in the dental workplace are enjoying themselves and their jobs...hey, at least you have one!! Hope all is well at my bosses office--Kim, Joann, Sharon, Denise, and Wendy. Hope the economy is picking up so I might have a job when I get home??!!?? Eeeks! And to the Hilton Head trio--I love you and miss you more than you could imagine. I will NEVER take that trip for granted again!!

God bless us all...love, tracy

We are allowed two nights 'out of site' at a time without it counting as annual leave. Unless, of course, there is a national holiday and then you can be gone 3 nights...

September is the month for national holidays here in Belize. I have heard people in my village say, 'I can't do this or that until October because of the holidays'. It seems like the whole month of September is one great big holiday with parades, patriotism, and parties. (Well, no parties in my village but yes, there was a parade!!) September 21st was their Independence Day and marked the 29th birthday of this small but proud country. It has been inspiring for me to see this level of patriotism and gratitude for a country that by anyone's standards back home has so very little. Here, however, they feel they have so much...

So with the extra day that I could take for the holiday, I decided to celebrate their Independence Day in a very non-Belizean way by playing in a free poker tournament in Belize City!!! Maybe this seems a bit irreverent but most of the entries in the tournament were Belizeans so I made a bunch of new friends. There were 73 entered...I ended up 15th. Certainly not in the money but had a great time. Thank you Pete and Betty and Bobby for your support here! I stayed at Jane's (fellow PCV) house and she was a most gracious hostess.

My third night of my personal September celebration, I traveled to Benque to visit Roger for one night. But it turned into three as we had a hurricane threat followed by a consolidation so I was told to stay in Benque until we got the 'all clear' message. What a bummer!! He is just so damn difficult to be around but I did my best to make the most of a challenging situation.

The point to all this rambling is...for the last 6 days and 5 nights I feel like I have been living in luxury. Both Jane and Roger have microwaves and washers. Roger has hot water in his shower while Jane has a walk-in closet with gobs of clothes--dress clothes at that! Both have couches, chairs, screens on the windows and music--through their computers with speakers! They have restaurants and grocery stores in their towns and cabs that can take you there if you don't want to walk. Jane even has cable TV and internet! And the biggest luxury of all, both have toilets that flush.

But traveling back to San Miguel, I find myself missing the bats that have made a nest in my home that I can't (try as I may) seem to scare away, the sightings of stinging scorpions and hairy tarantulas in all four corners of my abode, my humble furnishings of desk, table, and bed, and my latrine that I walk to in the middle of the night during torrential downpours. But mostly, all the sweet children that have become my friends that have texted me over and over wondering when I am coming home...

God bless us all...especially those little friends...tracy

I would be terribly remiss if I didn't point out that some very special people have birthdays this month!! Happy Birthday Dino on the 11th, Betty on the 15th, and Katrine on the 20th!!

You all have been very special to me. Hope you have the happiest of birthdays and continued happiness throughout the year.

God bless us all...tracy

Today I got up at 5:30 am (woke at my usual 4:30) and had a little bowl of corn flakes with raisins and milk! Most people in the village can't have milk as they don't have refrigeration but I do and it makes me soooo appreciate cold items.

I headed over to my garden across the path from my home. I made the decision to abort the garden for now as the seedlings can't quite handle the torrential downpours in this rainforest. Some nights the rain on my zinc roof is deafening and although I love the sound of the downpours, I cringe knowing that across the path, my seedlings are probably washing away...so with a few exceptions, I will stop gardening until rainy season ends. I did have a bumper crop of a few vegetables, especially cucumbers. And I had planted an area for flowers and the Mexican sunflowers are doing a hat dance! But the average rainfall in the Toledo District is 160 inches/year... a little too much for most vegetables, I guess. The good news about the garden is that it has stimulated lots of interest here in the village and I've had several people ask me to help them start their own garden. Of course, I'll love that but I told them to wait until October. So those of you that sent seeds should know that they are being put to great use!! Nutrition in the village is severely lacking in fruits and vegetables. They live on chicken, rice and beans and tortillas for the most part. Could be the start of something good?

Next I went to a neighbor's house where I had been asked to help build a latrine. This morning from 8 am to noon we dug a hole about 3 ft square and 8 ft deep. None of the women participate in the digging as they are much too busy tending to the children and bathing, dishes, and laundry down at the river. The two men laughed and joked with me which was fun because the men pretty much keep to themselves here in the village other than at meetings. I felt like I kept up with my end of the digging—you know me, not a slacker. It's a tough job after about one foot down as the soil is hard clay and shale stone. And of course, the sun was blazing...my guess the heat index was well over 110. Ugh!

Came home at noon and took a cold shower! Remember I built my own shower in the kitchen? I'm so glad I did because I cool off in it at least 4x/day—some days much more!! Made myself an open faced chicken salad sandwich...homemade bread I made several days ago and chicken salad I made yesterday with celery, onions, green pepper, carrots and walnuts!! The vegetables in it were a real treat from the market last week and Sue Brown sent the walnuts a while ago. I've been rationing those for quite a while now. You savor every bite when you can't have this type of thing often. Every little piece of celery that fell onto my plate found its way to my stomach.

Read for a little while and drank lots of water. Then at 2 pm I headed up to the school where some children and I are working on making a map of the world on the school wall. Seems like a great learning experience for them. I quickly became aware of how little geography I know outside North America so it's a great learning experience for me, too!! I have a couple of pictures of the group and one picture of our feet because we are literally working in the mud...mas sule le beh! (the road is muddy—K'ekchi) This is a Peace Corps project that is done all over the world to give children a chance to see where they fit in the big picture...working together gives them a sense of community. All I know is that we are having fun. Most of the children left at around 4:30 as they have to go home and help with dinner preparations and with younger siblings. I stayed until I couldn't see anymore...nearly dark at 6:30 (no daylight savings here).

Came home and took another shower to wash away the sweat, paint, but mostly the mud. Had some leftover spaghetti sauce and made spaghetti and another slice of homemade bread. Plan to read a little bit more and hit the sack by 10. It's 9:15 now and the village has been asleep or at least very quiet since 7:30.

So that's my day today...not very exciting but certainly full. Maybe more gaps were bridged between the white lady and the villagers. I want to leave here and have them think that white people aren't so bad afterall...maybe even nice?!?

I almost forgot to tell you!! The reason why I started writing today was because I was finally stung by a scorpion! I have seen many here but have managed to remain intact until today. It was while I was with the men this morning so I had to 'act' brave like it was no big deal. But it's a pretty sharp sting...quite a bit worse than a bee sting and it makes your lips and tongue swell up and you feel like your whole mouth has been to the dentist!! Things are pretty normalized now other than my thumb which is still quite swollen. The mosquito and chigger bites are bothering me more now than the scorpion sting as I'm writing this... And while we're on the 'critters' subject, I have a nest of bats inside my house where I sleep. Thought I got rid of them last week but ...'They're Back!!' ...village life...

Today is my beautiful daughter's birthday. Please join me in wishing Ashley a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! She is 30!! Seems like yesterday when I brought her home just 4 hours after delivery...(what in the world was I thinking?) Thank God, we all have grown up. I love you ASHLEY!!! p.s. the rainbow is for you honey!

God bless us all...tracy

I challenge you to take a journey with me to a deep, dark unfamiliar world where you lose your concept of reality. It is a journey as mystical and unexplainable as the fall and the obliteration of the Mayan empire. Void the mind if you can, void your preconceived notions about myth and magic and maybe you can appreciate this story that is REAL in my village.

A curse has swept through the village. 'It' came from the neighboring village of Silver Creek. Various households had been 'infected' but now it has left. All, except my host family's home. There, the children have been sick one right after the other. But it is staying at my old house and won't leave. A couple of the children have been sick, then got better, only to get sick again. My host mother who is a small lady anyways, has lost maybe 20 pounds in the last month. She weeps (which is uncustomary in this culture to show emotion). She looks ravaged with sadness and pain.

I visit over at their home and whoever is sick is being tended to by the rest of the family. Everyone is praying over them, the incense is burning, there is little light in the room, and no talking with only a whisper if necessary. The symptoms are obsessive sleep, difficulty breathing with the feeling that someone or something is choking them, and pain in their hearts like they are being stabbed. They speak in 'tongues' when wakeful and often appear delirious.

My host father asked to talk to me privately and I obliged. He and his wife believe this is a curse that has been introduced into the village and has left the village except for his home because someone is still 'cursing' them. Mayans can 'curse' one another which will cause ill fate or sickness, even death. This is usually done (I'm told) out of jealousy. Now the children are all so ill that he sought the help of a Guatemalen 'bush doctor' who has been in touch via telephone. They feel that this doctor is the only one that can bring health and happiness back to their family.

No matter what you are thinking now, this is real to this family. The doctor had told them last week that the children were very ill and if he weren't allowed to do his doctoring, he feared that someone would die and that one of the parents would become gravely ill and die also. He instructed my host dad to keep all the family in their home or their yard even if they were feeling better. He would start doing his 'work' from afar and my host father would soon see an improvement. My host dad would do anything for the health and happiness of his family. There has been improvement. Their beliefs are deeply rooted. This doctor is their lifeline.

The Guatemalen bush doctor wants $4000 BZ ($2000 US) for his services. He will be coming this Friday to do his work and expects to be paid at that time. My host father has managed to beg, borrow, and not steal from everyone he knows and has come up with almost $2000 BZ. He is afraid that because he only has half of the money, that the bush doctor will reverse the good that he has already done and the family will be cursed perhaps even more.

The whole family is distraught and begging for help. I have suggested a conventional doctor in a nearby town that practices conventional medicine combined with bush doctor medicine. But, they strongly believe that this Guatemalen doctor is the only one that can save them. Truth is that whatever they believe in WILL cure. I just wish I could convince them to 'believe' Plan B is worth a try. He understands that our culture doesn't believe in such things but told him that I understood how real this was for him.

My wish is that this Guatemalan doctor won't accept the 'pay on time' idea and that my host dad may be forced to consider Plan B. I know he will still give this bush doctor some money for the good that he has already done for the family and pray that he will not inflict sickness to his family in retaliation for the broken agreement.

I am asking you to send any love and compassion you may feel after reading this to my family that is suffering so. It is a heavy and difficult time.

I believe your thoughts and prayers will help as much as my family believes the bush doctor will cure.

God bless us all...love, tracy

Recently, two very different but quite incredible stories have surfaced. You want the good one or the bad one first? I'll start with the good...

This past week in San Miguel, I had Mallory (one of the Peace Corps Volunteers) stay with me for the week while she worked with the RCP teachers here in San Miguel. (The Roving Caregivers Program is an educational program offered in remote villages to provide young children {8 mos-3 years} early childhood stimulation and teach some English so that the transition into primary school is smoother)

After we had both finished for the day on Tuesday, I decided to borrow a bike for Mallory and the two of us took off for 'Tiger Cave' . I had been taken to Tiger Cave by a local back in November and took Aubrey there when she visited at Christmas time.

It is not a tourist cave..in fact, it is pretty much all unbridled territory that few venture. One would NEVER find their way to the cave had they not been taken there and paid very close attention. Ask Aubrey...just getting there is an adventure (Not to mention a long bike hike!)

So Mallory and I set out and three dogs came with us...mine is Blackie and then there are two others that belong to the neighbors here but they spend all their time at my house. Their names are Mickey and Sleepy. I'm especially fond of Mickey.

We finally arrive dripping with perspiration (nothing new about that) The dogs drank from the river we had to traverse before finding the hidden path that leads to the entrance of the cave as we drank from our bottles. There was a tremendous drop in the temperature as we hiked along the path through jungle vegetation into the rainforest leading up to the cave. The cooler temperatures felt refreshing.

The whole time the three dogs were enjoying the adventure, running alongside our bikes on the way and now navigating through the difficult terrain approaching the mouth of the cave. Mallory is also loving the adventure.

I'm feeling rather gallant in my trailblazing prowess. Mallory, who is 23 years old and played Division I soccer, is impressed by the experience while keeping up with athletic ease. The five of us enter the cave.

We are immediately divebombed by bats that I'm sure aren't trying to hit us but several brush us as we duck and try to avoid the collisions. I lead her through narrow openings and climb treacherous rock. Treacherous because it is steep but also because of the dripping water in the cold, damp, dark cave making our footing quite slippery. The dogs decide they can't make it so they stop at one point and start howling for our return. Minutes later, they conquer their fear and now we are five again.

After spending nearly an hour negotiating through the cave, I decide we better start heading back. It will be dark in an hour and I am responsible for this young whippersnapper. The dogs are having a more difficult time going DOWN through the narrow crevices but manage with a little coaxing and gentle shoves. All except Sleepy. He decides he can't do it. We had experienced their reluctance many times already so we kept going knowing he would get over his fear and just come. Come on now...these are Mayan dogs in their element. We get out of the cave with Blackie and Mickey...still no Sleepy. We call for him and we just hear his howling.

I decide that we have to go back and try to get Sleepy. Just then, Mallory spots him up on a ledge that has to be 60 to 70 ft above us and off to the right. We go back inside the cave and try to climb to him. At one point, there's a tier that I don't think I can get up on. I ask Mallory to try and she is able. She gets close to Sleepy and tries to persuade him to come close enough so she can grab him and try to pull him. He is not budging. I attempt to get up upon the ledge and make it. I finally climb to Sleepy and am able to persuade him to come close enough that I can grab him and pull him down through the narrow crevice to a lower landing. Now it seems to us that it will be smooth sailing...

We get down to the next 'easier' pass through the rock and Mickey and Blackie manage fine. Sleepy freaks out and runs off and heads straight back up to the 70 foot high ledge. At this point, I'm frustrated, it's 5:31, going to be dark soon, and I know that Sleepy has seen how to get down the especially difficult pass. I tell Mallory that we need to go and that I'm sure Sleepy will find his way out.

We get out of the cave and look back and up and see Sleepy standing on the high ledge. He is howling. I call to him one last time but to no avail. We leave and return to San Miguel. I am feeling certain that he will be on my doorstep the next morning.

We wake up Wednesday morning and no Sleepy. Damn! I have to go into PG for a meeting at 10 so I catch the 7 am bus. Guilt is setting in. How could I abandon that dog? The cave is called 'Tiger Cave' because the legend is that a jaguar tried jumping from one high ledge (where Sleepy was) to another and missed and fell to his death the 60-70 feet below...right where we had been ducking from the bats... I envision Sleepy howling all night and drawing attention to himself from any one of the known predators...especially the jaguars...they could be feasting right now...

I arrive back in San Miguel on the 4 o'clock bus...I immediately ask Mallory is she would mind staying one extra night and that maybe tomorrow after 'work', we could go back to the cave and try to get Sleepy. She is good with that. I head over to my garden and Sleepy's owner walks over (never met him before) and asks if I had seen Sleepy since he knows how the dog is always over here?? “No, I've been in PG all day and haven't seen him”, I didn't lie. I felt that 'guilt' was written all over my face, though!

Thursday, after Mallory and I were both done with our 'duties', we headed back to the cave. Whereas I had left the cave two days ago KNOWING that Sleepy would manage to get out, now I'm fairly certain that since he has not returned, he is probably dead. I pack my backpack with provisions that would have made an Eagle Scout confident...rope, headlamps, matches, candles, tools for burying, tools for carrying, splints for mending, and Bob's hunting knife for the jaguar??? We talk the whole way there about scenarios we may encounter and what we do in each case. Finally, Mallory suggests that we talk about something else as she is mortified...good idea.

The ride there was fast...we were on a mission...the negotiating the trails leading to the cave was fast...we had purpose.. We approached the mouth of the cave and didn't hear a thing. All of a sudden, Sleepy must have heard us and he started his pathetic howl. He was ALIVE! He was still perched on the ledge up high. We entered the cave and climbed up to him. We were able to tie the rope around his neck and even though he resisted every inch of the way, Mallory was able to pull him down as I pushed him from behind. Once he was committed to the fall, his footing somehow miraculously became sure.

We were hoping that Sleepy would just run home ahead of us but no, he was glued to us. We lingered for hours to wait until dark so we would have less explaining to do when we approached the village. I rehearsed many alibis which Mallory told me were all totally unacceptable. I was only allowed one word answers.

We rode into San Miguel in the pitch black hoping to be unnoticed. Didn't happen. We get near my house and Sleepy's owner sees Sleepy and me and says, “Miss Tracy, Sleepy's back!” I heed Mallory's advice and say, “Yeah!” No more was said.

So Sleepy is alive and well and on a rope outside his home and I'm sure, 'forbidden' to visit Miss Tracy. For that matter, Mickey is roped up also which is something that you never see in the village. At night, the three dogs can be heard howling to one another about their adventure in the cave. Blackie and I are alone in the house wondering where all our friends are...

The story ended well in that no one was hurt and all the dogs returned safely. But with the already suspicious Mayan disposition, Miss Tracy is suspect. She was seen leaving the village on Tuesday with three dogs. She returned Tuesday with two. She leaves on Thursday with no dogs and returns Thursday with one.

P.S. She didn't ask the dogs to come along on Tuesday, they just followed the lady that loves them...

Bad story will be the next blog. You have read enough!

God bless us all...(animals, too)...tracy

Happy Birthday to my big brother, Skip!! Most of you haven't met either of my brothers as they don't live too close to South Florida but I'd like to share a bit about my brother...

When I was in a body cast as an infant, my brother, Skip was the one to carry me around, play with his little sister, and drag her around in his wagon...I have no recollection of this time as it was from one month old to a little over two years old. My parents had filled me in on the kind of brother Skip was...he was six when I was born...

About 26 years ago, Skip had a 'freak' accident while cleaning his sailboat (out of the water) when the mast hit a power line and nearly ended his life. The doctors didn't expect him to live and thought that if he did, he would be severely brain damaged. Three months in the burn unit at Jackson Memorial, skin grafts, and minus one leg, he came out of the experience spiritually stronger and perhaps, mentally stronger too. (Brother Bruce and I thought the electricity 'supercharged' those dormant brain cells!!) He has been an inspiration to his family but has also helped numerous limb amputees regain their zest for life.

He has been a loving father to his three beautiful daughters, Christi, Karri, and Alissa.

He even tried to be a father to my three after Bob died but that didn't go over so well. But now that everyone is grown up, my three children have such a new appreciation for their Uncle Skip. When I recently went home, he treated us all to dinner when we were in Jacksonville and the kids had a blast with him...He was quite humorous to say the least...

And I would not be here serving in the Peace Corps were it not for my brother, Skip's help and support.

He is more of a dinosaur on the computer than I am...is that possible?!? So he probably won't read this but I hope my nieces might fill him in...

Just let him know how much I appreciate him and love him dearly.

God bless us all...tracy

Dear Friends and Family,

I have started writing this blog at least six times and have aborted each one...

I'm here in Punta Gorda as a bunch of PCV's from the Toledo district have decided to gather for a little 4th of July celebration BBQ this afternoon. There was a thunderstorm last night which cooled the air and cut the humidity. It's down to a mere 98 degrees and 70% humidity which leaves us at a heat index of 115 which is down from the previous week. And of course, no AC anywhere so no relief. (I think Florida summers will be a bit easier to take!)

I'm writing today because it's the 4th of July--truly a day to celebrate our country's independence. But in each of the previous attempts, I became too political and too polarized. This is precisely what I see as our big problem back home. Healthy debate is always good. Finger pointing, name calling, spin on top of spin for argument's sake is a detriment to the development of better ways of working together.

When I see how the people in Belize live and compare it with back home, I am struck by the accentuated contrast. Ten months ago, I saw this as poverty. But I have decided that poverty is more an attitude than a calculated measure of what you have versus what you don't have. The people in my village don't think they live in poverty...they have food, clothing, and a roof over their head. They have everything they need and they're happy. Belize is a beautiful mix of varied ethnicities. Their existence is as close to nature and spirit as the varied palms reaching towards the heavens.

I'm aware now that most of the world is more like Belize and the United States is in the minority of the few countries that are considered 'super powers'. So if Belizeans see themselves as rich and happy people, we need to take inventory of all our blessings in the United States. Let's start by seeing the good in the differences in each of us rather than that which divides us. You know, united we stand...

Happy 4th of July! God bless us all...tracy

At least once a week I ride the village bus into Punta Gorda town usually for groceries... On each village bus (which are 'retired' US school buses) there's the driver and a 'conductor'. The conductor's job is to assist passengers on and off the bus with their loads and the collection of bus fares.

The two conductors on the two village buses that service San Miguel strut identically. There's a certain cocky 'flare' as they walk down the center aisle collecting the fares. I can do an excellent imitation (I think) of their mannerisms but Greg (a fellow PCV in the neighboring village of Silver Creek) does it better. There's good reason for their 'strut'...they are among the few that have jobs with paychecks in Toledo. (The vast majority primarily live off the land) So it's really 'cool' to be a conductor.

I counted the number of stops my bus made this morning--42! The villagers wait at an area closest to their front door and it makes no nevermind if there is another person waiting a mere 15 to 20 feet away. Also, invariably, they wait on the upslope of a hill...I think it might make good mechanical sense if they caught the bus at the top or the downslope?? The bus slips a bit back down the hill until the gears engage and the engine STRAINS...mechanics must have plenty of work here.

There are two people generally to a seat (although I've seen moms with their 5 children all sitting together--6 total!!) I'm usually one of the first ones to load as I am at the beginning of the route (p.s. I wait on the downslope) So there's always a empty seat next to me. That spot is usually the last to fill--clearly, I'm not a desireable seatmate!! Children and some of the younger Mayan ladies are the exception daring to sit with the White Lady.

Today, a beautiful young Mayan lady CHOSE to sit next to me eventhough there were plenty of empty seats. She took her seat without a word, glance lowered, but a hint of a slight smile. After several minutes I asked her where she was going (some get off at neighboring villages) and she answered "PG". A bit later I told her she was a BEAUTIFUL girl. She giggled softly, covering her mouth, and still looking downward...definitely NO eye contact.

Next, I asked her if she was married (appeared to be about 20 or 21 which is old NOT to be married here). She answered, "no", and I blurted out without much thought, "well, good for you!" With that she giggled a little more, hand still covering her smile. A few minutes later, a group of three young Mayan men boarded the bus and I commented that the one was really cute. More giggles...Then one got on that I said was too skinny and another one was too short. By now, she is almost laughing out loud, head raised and looking RIGHT at me!! (I'm sure she was thinking, what a weirdo I was??) but nonetheless, I KNOW she was enjoying her ride to town.

On the rest of our ride to PG, her whole posture had changed...her glance was no longer downward and the smile had become unleashed. Apparently, when it comes to the 'mating game', there are no differences in age, ethnicities, and no borders that divide us...we are ALL sisters...

God bless us all...tracy

I have wanted to serve in the Peace Corps since I first heard about its inception when I was only seven years old. It has been hard to find the window of time in my life when it would work for myself and my family as most of you know 'my story'... When I left in August, I thought I had most of my 'business' attended to...house rented, car sold, possessions sold or given away, money saved for Aubrey's last year of undergraduate education, not to mention all the fun paperwork involved in packing up one's life and moving to a third world country... It was especially hard to leave my two dogs because as you know, I'm a HUGE dog lover and Duchess and Chunk are like my best friends...but I thought I had all the particulars worked out with them so I took the leap of faith and pursued my dream...

ONE BIG PROBLEM...The initial plan with the dogs did not work out and then the dogs were bounced from Aubrey, to Ashley, and then to Bobby. I appreciate their help but it is impossible for Aubrey to care for them with her 12 hour shifts. Ashley and Bobby already have two of their own and four has been a hardship. Right now, Ashley has been caring for Chunk and Bobby has Duchess. But Duchess has a bladder stone that needs a special 'canned food' diet and frequent trips outside. Poor thing, I guess it's all part of getting older for my sweetheart.

If there is anyone out there that might be able to care for one of my dogs for the remainder of the time while I'm here in the Peace Corps, please contact me through my email or comment on this blog. They are both loving, kind, and affectionate Maltese that sorely miss their mom (I miss them too)

I want to stand strong in pursuing my ultimate dream of service with the Peace Corps but this situation has reached a critical point and I may have to leave. I will pray for resolution...

God bless us all...

My host mom made a dress for me like all the women wear in the village. It certainly was an 'icebreaker' for the shy Mayan ladies. Even THEY were quick to tell me how much they liked me in my new dress!

Last week was the swearing in of the new volunteers. I thought our group was cohesive and enthusiastic but this new group of 36 is amazing! Zack delivered an inspiring speech that elevated me right out of my seat. He made me excited about getting back to my village of San Miguel. (Pictured is Jane and myself after swearing in--she is a new volunteer that Kerry from Murray Ct. knows!!)

I'm almost finished with the inventory of books in the principal's office...

Today I helped another neighbor build his 'new' latrine. That is ALWAYS a job. One of my goals here is to see that every village home has their own latrine. I believe there are 3 or 4 more to go...

I have been working on my garden and planting many of the seeds you have sent. (By the way, your seeds have found their way all over this little country in village and school gardens--thank you, thank you!) It's rainy season so I'm not sure how successful I'll be this time of year. When it rains, it's a deluge and often the seeds get washed away. I'm not giving up though. The men in San Miguel have their farms that they ride to every morning--usually about 3-5 miles out of the village. There, they grow predominantly corn and beans. No one in the village (except me)has a garden. I am trying to generate interest by working in my garden. Passerbys have inquired as to what I'm trying to grow, etc. There is 'food security' in San Miguel as no one goes hungry. But the diet lacks variance and balance. Every meal is either chicken, eggs, or fish with rice and beans and tortillas. Fruits are eaten only when in season and growing on one's property. Otherewise, there aren't fruits and vegetables unless you can afford to go into Punta Gorda on market days and buy from the vendors. I'm hoping my garden will 'open doors' for discussion on nutrition and healthier diets and maybe gardens of their own! No Einstein needed here to see that diet plays a HUGE role in Belize with the high incidence of high bllod pressure, diabetes, and premature death.

The PCPP grant proposal is still in Peace Corps Belize's office. Most of you know about the playground that we want to build here in San Miguel. After the proposal gets approved here, it will be sent to the main office in Washington, DC. At that point, I'll write more concerning the project as many of you have indicated interest in helping out...thank you so much.

They are anticipating a busy hurricane season--sure you all know that better than I do. I am one of the 'wardens' for the group of volunteers in Toledo. Wardens make sure PCV's get the message to evacuate and consolidate in the event of a storm. The problem is that in most of Toledo, PCV's have no cell phone service, no village 'community phone', and infrequent bus service. I have visions of mounting my neighbor's horse (pictured) and playing Paul Revere. Should be interesting...

Last picture is a new cat that has found his way into my house (along with the chickens, rooster, rabbits, and Blackie. I have put my foot down when the pigs try to come through!!) Word must be out in the animal community that the white lady has food...

All is well...God bless us all...love, tracy

Toto! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!

I'm reflecting on whether it was more of a culture shock to arrive back in the states or when I returned to Belize via Mexico...not sure...

It was so wonderful to arrive in Florida. It took me 19 hours to get to Cancun from Punta Gorda and only an hour and twenty minutes to fly to Orlando...wow! When I first stepped foot in Orlando, the thought occurred to me to kiss the ground of our wonderful country but thought I might create a 'people traffic jam' as the crowd was busy scurrying along. So I didn't. Everything looked so squeaky clean and shiny.

It was absolute heaven to spend quiet time with Ashley, Bobby, and Aubrey. After Aubrey's graduation and Sue Brown's visit, we had the pleasure of being able to use Kim and Joann's place in North Carolina for several days where we all reconnected...very little TV, no cell phones, no computer... We hiked in the mountain fresh air and made a fire in the fireplace. Just two days earlier, I had left temperatures in the 110 degree range...a nice and welcomed change.

We came back to Jupiter and had a chance to visit with many dear friends. Thank you all for your hospitality and generosity with all the dinner tabs. Really feel like your poor and indigent friend but I guess there's much truth to that!! Rich in friendships, however. I feel so blessed.

Back to the village and life as usual. This felt like coming home again...somewhat odd. It is such a different culture but much to be said about the uncomplicated existence. So poor but very few worries. That very idea has been one of my main challenges. Just sooo used to being busy in the States that this slowed-up pace has been a foreign concept.

Thank you all for a wonderful visit home...my welcome mat is always out if any of you care to venture...I think Carlene and Katrin might do it!!!

God bless us all...tracy

Hormones are a funny thing. I always thought that since I was fortunate to never suffer from PMS and that my three pregnancies were the happiest times in my life, that menopause would ease on in and ease on out. Not so...

I guess menopause isn't 'official' until you haven't had your period in over one year. I think I am pretty darn old (56) for not being officially in menopause. Before I left for the Peace Corps, I had been noticing some subtle changes with all that wonderful stuff...missing a few, lighter, and I was either sweating profusely on the tennis court cause I was hot and trying so hard OR enjoying the wonderful experience of hot flashes.

But after I was here and hanging with all these young people (over half are right out of college and another 3/8 are under 30), my body got confused and thought it was young again. I started becoming super regular and NO menopausal symptoms at all... until November. Then my body came to its senses and said, “Woman, you ARE old!” No menses until February.

Felt fine until February and then started having severe mood issues. I initially chalked it up to dealing with my new life here in the Peace Corps. But there were a few days where I thought I wanted to kill someone! I mean to tell you, I was feeling like I was having an 'out-of-body' experience. I did not recognize WHO this 'other' person was but I can tell you, she wasn't very nice and I didn't like her ONE bit. On Friday, the 19th of February, I couldn't stop sobbing. Thank God for Erica who was patient, understanding, and sympathetic. She called Roger because she was so concerned about me and he then made the long bus ride down on that Saturday. By Saturday, I was coming around but of course, it was great to see him. And there couldn't be a kinder, more compassionate man on the planet. But I still wasn't thinking any of this was hormonal til Sunday when you know what arrived... and stayed heavy for over two weeks.

Ok, now it was making sense. I talked to our resident medical staff to get some help. I wanted the people in Belize to be safe from this deranged lunatic on the loose. The 'front line' artillery employed was low-dose estrogen. I'm happy to report that after 29 days on this hormone, I feel great again. Hopefully I won't need this too long. But for now, the people of Belize can rest safe at night.

There are enough challenges here without throwing menopause into the mix...

Coming home soon for Aubrey's graduation...can't wait to see Ashley, Bobby, Nicole, Jeff, and Aubs and my wonderful, kind, and supportive friends. And you're SAFE! Ha Ha!!!!

God bless us all... tracy

It seems like all my life I have wanted to serve in the Peace Corps. Mostly, it seemed like a good way to give back to the planet after years of being consumed with my own stuff—myself, my family, my work, my friends. ME. Now it would be about others...

The window of opportunity never opened during younger years. After college, I needed to work to support myself. Then I got married and had children. It wasn't until now when the children had graduated from college, established themselves, and become self-reliant that I considered Peace Corps as a viable option.

Ashley is doing extremely well and learning a lot this first year as a tax attorney with an estate planning firm in Vero Beach. Bobby continues to pursue his dream of 'professional poker' having recently won a few dollars coming in first in two large tournaments. Then there is Aubrey...

Aubrey still had another year of nursing school ahead of her when I left. I had saved so that I could cover the bulk of her expenses during this year. She has worked diligently to supplement the 'kitty' to make ends meet. But she has needed more than financial support... (Don't we all?)

Thank God for the many nurses, professors, and mentors at the University of Florida and the VA Hospital that have impacted Aubrey in a huge way. These people have helped teach, shape and support my daughter, especially in my absence. They have provided Aubrey with tremendous moral and emotional support. I am forever grateful.

This blog is dedicated to all the nurses out there...the REAL selfless people... a wonderful blend of heart, body, and soul. Lacey, Aubrey's preceptor, epitomizes the caring individual that lives her life selflessly. Lacey has been a wonderful role model and friend for my daughter. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I am humbled when I think how nurses live their entire lives the way they do....not just a mere clump of months like I'm trying to do...

Today is Aubrey's birthday! No gifts from mom...but Aubrey understands the greatest gifts are those from the heart. You are loved by many, dear. Those relationships are your gifts.

I love you honey...I am so proud of your accomplishments...And a very, very Happy Birthday!

God bless us all...love, tracy

I learned a term, quite by accident, when I first moved to San Miguel. I was living with my host family, Sebastian and Juvena Pop and their seven lovely children. I heard the words, 'shan shaq', and then some giggles. I had asked what this meant and why they were laughing. Shan shaq meant 'white lady' in K'ekchi and of course that was me and I guess I'm funny. I was not supposed to know this as it is an inside derogatory reference to this 'odd' person now living in their village.

I am different...in every sense. I stand taller than all the women (by a mile) and most of the men. I do some 'jobs' that are normally for the men only...like construction of latrines and building pig pens. And since I ran a water source inside my 'house', I don't need to bathe in the river which is a ½ mile walk. I can take a shower in the privacy of my own 'kitchen'. I greet people on the road and sometimes I hug the children. But mostly it's the unusual color of my skin—horrid in comparison to their smooth and creamy flawless deep beige.

Yesterday I was riding my bike on the gravel road. I ran into Sebastian and we chatted for quite a while. Yesterday, on Easter, 'Bingo', their wonderful dog, had been hit by the bus and killed instantly. I asked if the children cried as they were all together making the long walk from the farm and witnessed the incident. “No”, he said. But they all had said it was a good thing that I wasn't with them as they know what I would have done... I loved Bingo.

I stopped and chatted with three other neighbors...one of whom invited me inside and fed me lunch.

But I am writing this 'story' to relay this next encounter that really touched me...

My next stop was at one of the village 'shops' for a loaf of bread. The two daughters in the family were playing with their two girl cousins that were visiting from Belmopan for the Easter holiday. (Children have two weeks off school). The visiting cousins were 6 and 8 years old. After sitting with them and chatting for nearly an hour, the younger girl who was nuzzled up close to me looked up with her big brown eyes and sweetest demure smile and said, “We don't like 'white people'.” I asked why not? She thought for a few seconds and said, “I think we are afraid”. I then asked her if she felt afraid of me? “No”, was her response. (Remember, this child is six years old.)

“When I go to church and the priest talks about how Jesus loves me, I feel my heart inside of me pounding like this”, and she placed her tiny hand on her chest and patted herself. “Right now, I feel that same pounding in my heart”, and she reached for my hand to hold it. “I won't be afraid of white people anymore”, she said with assurance.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart”—Helen Keller

An ancient Mayan wall within this tiny person came tumbling down.

God bless us all...love, tracy P.S. Happy Birthday tomorrow to Sue Beale and congrats on hole-in-one!

There's this dog that I guess came with the house I live in in San Miguel. Homes in the states come with varying amenities...homes here in San Miguel come with mangy dogs with parasites.

So I injected this dog twice with some medicine that the hardware store provided for me ($1.50 BZ) back in November. He started looking great! But recently the mange came back and he's losing weight but this time he won't let me inject him—dogs DO remember! (I'll have to work on this problem?!?)

The dogs here are treated so poorly. I guess people have them mostly to serve as watchdogs. They are kicked by every member of the family and not fed (except at my old host family's home where they gave Bones and Bingo tablescraps). I'm certain Blackie is the only dog in the village that eats dog food AND table scraps.

With Blackie's mange, it is not too appetizing to pet him barehanded so I put on my garden gloves and he 'eats up' the attention. Of course, I greet him every morning as he sleeps right outside my door. I don't 'give' like I would to my own dogs...guess I really haven't claimed him yet and I feel bad about that...

This past Saturday I planned on visiting two peace corps friends in Dangriga (3 hour bus ride away). I decided to catch the bus at the junction of the highway which is about a 5-6 mile trek to the road. I started off on my bike and Blackie was following. The sun was intense so the sweat was profuse as I pedaled up and down the very hilly rocky road. Blackie kept stride. A couple of times I told him to go home but he must only understand K'ekchi... he kept following. We finally arrived at the junction and I took my bike to this family I have befriended that has been kind enough to store it when I take these jaunts. Blackie came into their house and plopped down on the cool concrete. Avelina asked if he was my dog? “No, but he thinks he is!”

The bus was due to reach the junction in about ten minutes. I walked across the road, Blackie followed. There isn't an ounce of civilization for miles in any direction other than Avelina and Jorge's home. About two miles down the road, I see the northbound bus approaching. I do the customary hand signal that indicates I want a ride. The bus slows and I get on. I find a seat quickly but stay standing as I want to see that Blackie crosses the road heading back to San Miguel.

NO! He is sprinting after the bus. I sit down and ponder...

This dog gets so very little and yet is so loving and loyal. The children in San Miguel get so little and yet they are loving to their siblings and dutiful to their parents. There are no toys here, there are no gifts, and there's no recreation. But the responsibility they own for their little brother or sister's comfort or safety is something I witness on a daily basis. (I just looked out my window and saw two neighbor girls, ages 7 and 8, walking back from the river with huge bowls of dishes on their heads that they just washed and holding hands with a younger sibling).

I know we all mean well when we give our children so many THINGS back home. But then, sometimes they grow up preoccupied and obsessed with acquiring an abundance of THINGS or money to buy THINGS. They may lose sight of what's really important like building character or relationships. They might miss opportunities to impact other lives in a positive way or to reach out to their siblings. Their lives can sometimes turn inward and in the process become lost and lonely. Maybe we're doing them a disservice by providing so much that they can't value what is truly important...I don't know...

I came back on Monday and Blackie was lying by my door... such a good dog...

God bless us all... love, tracy

FIVE of you sent me emails telling me about the recent article in the local paper back home and wanted to know more! Thank you so much for keeping abreast of the happenings here and wanting to share in this Peace Corps endeavor...

There is an organization in Belize (also in West Indies islands like Jamaica) called the Remote Caregivers Program. The RCP's mission is to provide the very young children (ages 8 mos to 3 yrs) in remote villages an opportunity for early learning. There are 4 RCP teachers in my village of San Miguel. They go to the homes where there are young children and teach colors, numbers, the alphabet...mostly through songs! I think the REAL benefit of their teaching is the familiarization with the English language. K'ekchi is spoken exclusively in these homes and yet when the children start pre-school, the lessons are taught in English. This introduction to the English language eases that transition from home to school for the 3-4 yr. olds. My host sister, Yadira, 2, was one of these students so I was able to witness the lessons first hand (twice a week). The stimulation was evident as Yadira was thriving!

About two months ago, one of the RCP teachers approached me and wanted to know if I could help them build a playground in San Miguel. The children have no place to play and recreation is a foreign concept (as are toys and games) I thought this was a great idea so we started with meetings to find out just what their 'vision' was and how we would finance this. (As you know, no one in the village gets a paycheck, it's all sustenance farming to provide food for their families...so funding from the inside is an impossibility) We have drawings in place and estimates of lumber and materials. This country seems so upside down to me as it is so poor and yet costs (like lumber) are so incredibly high...looks like just over $4000 BZ ($2000 US).

I applied for a 'Kids to Kids' grant and was successful ($500 US) That is what you read about in the newspaper. Now I'm working on a PCPP grant (Peace Corps Partnership Program) where anyone has the opportunity to read what Peace Corps is trying to do all over the world and can choose to donate if the spirit moves them to do so. Once I've applied, I will let you know and if anyone would like to contribute, they can do so privately online and the funds will go directly to the project. The only catch is...if we fall short of the projected amount, the funds go into a 'kitty' that is used for general projects and not OURS.

Thank you all for your interest. I will let you know when the PCPP application has been posted on the PC website. It's yummy food for my soul to know so many of you are sharing this Peace Corps experience with me. We are all volunteers trying to promote better world relations and peace.

God bless us all...tracy

Hi everyone!

First, let me say I'm overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and kindness hearing from you that various items are on the way! Thank you so much.

I wasn't able to 'caption' the pictures on the last blog so just to let you know...1. everyone participating in Raul's garden which is anxiously waiting for your seeds! (The other family there is the one I mentioned in an earlier blog...the lady in the orange dress is the widow) 2. Brella decked out in my reading glasses from Sue Beale and my $.50 consignment hat from Aubs! 3. A jaguar 'kitty' that I had to enclose for Pete Carantza! and 4. my pet 'tarantula' (not hardly) and no, Sue Beale, we didn't need a machete to kill it but there just aren't tons of options...fly swatter wouldn't do!!!

I am in a town called Punta Gorda which is the southernmost town in Belize right on the Caribbean Sea. It is quite quaint here but we are mostly enjoying air conditioning, toilets, and the first WARM shower I've had since leaving Florida! The ten of us have been visiting our future sites...it became clear to me today that the log cabin I've always dreamed of building in North Carolina is really supposed to be my future 'home' here in Belize. It's incredibly beautiful here in the rain forest. We traveled miles on dirt roads in the two Toyota Land Cruisers. (We'd make a great commercial for Toyota as these two vehichles are built tough!) The sites are incredible but we're really going to be out in the middle of nowhere--or everywhere. Maybe one of you will come visit me...we could backpack all over Belize!

I will find out exactly where I will be this Friday. I trust it will be where I'm most needed!

Pictured is our group of 'fearless 'community health volunteers! I'm sort of the odd-ball (for more reasons than one!) because all are young, recent college grads and then the one older married couple.

God bless us all, love, tracy

It’s been a tougher week—have a little touch of dysentery that’s lasted almost the entire week. I may be checked for parasites today—ugh! Also, I found a tarantula near my bed. My host mom killed it with my machete…oh well, the life of a peace corps volunteer!

It’s been a month now that I’ve lived with my host family. My family and our hut are considered well-off compared to most of the villagers and yet they have never seen a train, a plane, TV, a movie, any kitchen appliance, etc. Even though Raul can speak 4 languages and is very bright, he is illiterate. The children have no books, few toys and spend most of their time helping their mom who goes non-stop from 4:30 am to 8 pm. She washes the dishes bent over in the grass with 3 buckets (wash, rinse, dry). She does laundry everyday at the creek and carries heavy buckets of wet clothes back to the yard to hang on the line. She prepares three hot meals every day including hand made tortillas with each meal.

Despite this description, they are exceptionally happy. When Raul comes home from work, the three children SPRINT to him. The interaction between family members is fun to observe…they playfully ‘punch’ each other and then laugh. The kids are resilient and tough. When they get hurt, mom and dad just laugh so the child never cries too long. In school, the children receive ‘lashings’ for misconduct. Now when I walk to class, many children call out, “Hi, Miss Tracy”. Today the group of Standard 4 (six grade) came to my class to hug me one by one and thank me for the presentation I did yesterday on dental health to their class. Gratitude abounds.

Tomorrow the ten of us leave for a 4-day trip to our sites in Toledo (even though they keep the final selection a surprise!?!) I think I should be able to do one more blog before I actually get placed in the rain forest of Toledo. I love you all.

God bless us all… tracy

Only have a second as I am at the Peace Corps Hdqts. 'listening' to a lecture on handling stress so I can't be long...

So I had mentioned to Raul (my host dad) that if he wanted a garden I would help him...I did not get much response at the time. Then on Thursday of last week, when it was a national holiday, he said "Tracy, are you ready to start the garden?" I was happy to hear this as I know that if it's only my idea, it won't be kept up after I'm gone. So, we proceeded side by side to dig up a section of the yard quietly making suggestions to one another and getting the soil ready.

The next day as I was working again (Raul had gone to work) several neighbors came to 'pitch in'. They were asking me what we were going to plant and I told them the only seeds I had at the time (leftover from the Peace Corps Community Garden) was cilantro, okra, tomato, radish, and cucumber. I offered half of what I had left to the mother of the group. With that she said, 'thank you so much', then started crying and walked away. Her son and daughter stayed to help me transplant 'pups' from their plantain and banana tree. As we were doing this, I asked the daughter, who was 17, why their mother had left crying. She quietly told me this story. Their father (on this past Father's Day) had been drinking heavily and drank rat poison and died. Their mother had been so worried about how she was going to take care of herself and the eight children. Now, because I had given her those seeds, she knew that she was going to grow vegetables and sell them to provide for her family.

If this story doesn't make you want to buy a pack of seeds and mail them to me, I'd be surprised. PLEASE, all of you, KNOW that one little seed can change the lives of a whole family.

God bless us all. Love, tracy

Greetings from Orange Walk Town! I am living in luxury this weekend! This weekend all the new volunteers are visiting with the volunteers that have been here for a year. My pen pal, (the contact that I had before I left home) Diane, invited me to come to her site in Orange Walk Town which is in the northern part of the country. She is in the education sector and works with a counterpart here (the principal of the elementary school). The principal (Letty), Diane and I are going for some Cerviche in a couple hours. Diane has an apartment above a small church that she has fixed up very comfortably. Yesterday, I insisted on buying her a fan for her apartment. It feels quite comfortable right now even though the thermometer is reading 98.8. In her kitchen, it reads 99.9. The breeze from the fan feels delightful while I'm typing away on her computer. She (obviously) has electricity, has running water, and a toilet downstairs! This is quite a treat! She is waiting on me hand and foot and even gave up her bed while she sleeps in a hammock in the kitchen. I am taking advantage of the electricity to get 'caught' up with my computer contacts! It's a nice break from the rats that scurry around at night and the frequent tarantula sightings in Armenia.

I will be in Armenia until Oct. 2 when we will be heading to our individual sites in the Toledo District (south Belize). At that point, they drive us to our individual villages and drop us off with a new host family. We are required to live with the family for a minimum of a month, after which you can choose to find your own 'place' or stay with your host family. Apparently, most choose to live on their own for privacy and freedom's sake. I hope there are SOME people in the village that speak English as I feel incompetent in K'ekchi at present. Then for the next two years I will be trying to facilitate positive changes to improve the quality of life and health of the 'village people'. I think they have it all over us in the U.S. when it comes to finding happiness...much for me to learn from them! The K'ekchi people as a whole are nomads that have for the most part fled from Guatemala and the slavery imposed on them there by the Spaniards a hundred years ago. They are mostly farmers and hard workers. The men within the family are definitely the head of the household. For instance, my host mom, Emetria stays at home with the children, cooks three hot meals a day, does the laundry almost daily down at the river, serves food to her husband, Raul, first, then me, then the children, and then sits down finally after everyone is nearly finished. My family seems quite happy with their existence and even though Raul and Emetria speak Maya (Mopan) in our house to each other and the children, it is crystal clear to me that they love each other deeply and have so much fun with the 'little' things in life. They are always laughing together (maybe they are laughing at ME?!?!) but I don't think so. Just talking about them now makes me miss them! I will be taking the bus (4 1/2 hours) back to Armenia tomorrow. I bought Emetria a frying pan which I know she will flip over! They love to hear stories about Ashley, Bobby, and Aubrey and my friends back home--YOU! It's a simple and happy life. Were it not for the illnesses, diseases and sanitation issues, I wouldn't want them to change one bit. Hopefully I can help them with those issues. It's interesting how they just expect to lose someone in the family from things like a snake bite (fertilance kills you in a matter of just a few hours), a very treatable (to us) disease like bronchitis, malaria, or even a dog bite. (For the record, I have had a total of 5 shots already (2 hepatis, 2 rabies, and 1 typhoid and still need to get another 5 within the next five weeks. We also take an anti-malaria pill every Friday for as long as we are here). This is on top of all the innoculations I had before I left.

Last week, Brella woke up vomiting and was running a very high fever. With my own children, that wouldn't have freaked me out (as they will be quick to tell you that I never 'babied' them) but being here with all the infection and bacteria transmission gave me cause for more concern. She improved over the next two days so it was probably a routine virus but it makes one think. I've grown so attached to her. You all would adore her! The thought of possibly losing her that night to a routine malady really scared me.

I hope I haven't bored you but I wanted to take advantage of the use of Diane's computer because I may not have this opportunity again for quite awhile.

God bless us all! Love, tracy

Happy 50th Birthday honey! Wow!! Happy Birthday Craig, too! Soon is Betty and Katrin’s birthday too! I miss you all so much and wish you all the happiest of days and year!

This week has been a real integration week with my community. I find it interesting and refreshing to see a ‘neighborhood’ that is so diverse in culture and ethnicity to get along so wonderfully. Because most of the huts have no windows or doors people just naturally go visiting and all are so graciously welcomed. I’ve yet to encounter a toothbrush and even though my host family has a latrine, only the parents and I use it (the children still prefer the yard). There are several health issues right here in this village and the need for assistance is great and yet this is just our training site!! I’d love to stay here because there’s need but the Peace Corps has designated 9 other sites in Toledo as being much more in need of our help. Peace Corps only goes where it is asked and only addresses concerns that the village sees at ITS needs, not what we think it needs.

I really miss all of you but I feel I’m in the right place for me to have the greatest opportunity to help others. I lie in bed at night and my mind races with all kinds of ideas of ways I can be of service to these people. I hope you all will be honored that a lot of my plans revolve around my best resource—YOU!!! I’ve already called upon my team to donate a frying pan to my host mom. I’ve asked Dr. Gandhi to donate 50 toothbrushes and floss for a presentation I’m doing on Oral Health Care to the school here. ( Dentistry is non-existent here unless someone has a toothache and then they go to either Belmopan or Belize City to get an extraction.) It’s the tip of the iceberg but it’s how all great ideas start…inch by inch, row by row. Speaking of rows, I have decided to put in a vegetable garden at my host family’s house so if any of you could send me seeds (tomato, pepper, cucumber, squash, watermelon, broccoli, etc.) it would be most appreciated. They say they have never heard of broccoli so I’d love to get some seeds and try that. Don’t worry about sending too much, they will be used while I’m here I promise you! The diets here are so deficient in fruits and vegetables—could be the reason for so much illness and malnutrition. I told my family I would put in a garden if they promised to keep it up once I leave. They said they are excited about their new garden!

I can’t believe how much I value my friends and family back home. I feel like I’ve been living in a place of ungratefulness and wasn’t even aware. The things I took for granted amaze me. I’m sorry and I promise that when I see each of your faces, I will let you know how much I care.

God bless Ashley, Bobby, Nicole, Aubrey, Jeff, Dino, Duchess and Chunk and every one YOU! Love to all, Tracy

This has to be short but because I have to catch a bus back to Armenia before dark and the sun is going down. K'ekchi lessons are going well and the technical training is intense. Tomorrow on our day off we are planting a village garden and Sunday on our other day off we are building a latrine! So much for relaxing... Love to all and sooooooooo appreciate hearing from everyone

God bless us all

Raul, Emeteria, William and Brella

Here is Brella holding up the "book" that they are just dying to see each morning. They scream "Bobeeeeee"!!!

William (like Bobby)

Shakira (like Aubbie)

Brella (like Ashee)

Brella and neighbor, Gionvani with G's pet.

View from back of my hut to hut above

Brella standing at the doorway to our home

Shakira posing with crayon

Brella (always smiling!)

The neighbors with Brella and William

This is an experience! Right now I'm writin from my bed??? that has a mosqito net surrounding me. I live in a thatched roof hut with mud floors. There's a latrine out back and an open shower (like M*A*S*H) but no running water, just a bucket. Everyone goes to bed shortly after 6 (as there is no current!) so I'm writing this by headlamp. Today after language class, I bathed in the river with my Maya sister, Brella who scrubbed my back. I'll be here in Armenia for the next 5 weeks with my host family. Oh, did I mention that the parents, Raul (23) and Emetria (21) sleep on the other side of this only interior wall with their 3 children, Brella (5), William (3) and Shakira (2)? Their room can't be any larger than 6' x 8'. They are a lovely family that is taking their job as a Peace Corps host family quite seriously--three hot meals per day that always includes tortillas and rice and beans--so much for losing weight!! Raul speaks K'ekchi and Emetria speaks Maya (mopan) so the children speak Maya. My host mom and dad speak English very well. I learned two phrases in K'ekchi today--Ma sa aach ool? how are you? and Anih ak aba? what's your name? It's a very gutteral languange with some clucking. Quite interesting! We're in the rain forest so the walk to class is in this thick, sticky, heavy mud. Needless to say, I had to purchase boots! We have three chickens in the yard that know to stay there. Raul said when they first get purchased they stay in the backyard in a chicken coup for a couple days and then let them out and they just KNOW to stay in the yard! I asked Raul how many brothers and sisters he has and he said, "I think 8 sisters and 7 brothers...I'm not sure." You hear the rain all night (no windows or doors). The roosters start crowing around 4am and you hear dogs barking the rest of the night. I won't go into the dog situation right now. That's a whole story to itself. I roll over and go back to sleep until 5:30. Hope this paints a picture...Enjoy your AC and lights at night! Better turn it in--it's WAY past my bedtime--almost 9pm! The family has been asleep since 6:30! God bless Raul, Emetria, Brella, William, Shakira and us ALL!!! Tracy postscript: It's Sunday, Aug 30 so I borrowed Raul's bicycle so I could ride about 30 miles (thanks Katrin!) into Belmopan so I could call my darling Ashley to wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Her email address is ash1140@aol.com if you would send her a note to help me celebrate her big day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow, eleven of us leave for Armenia which is not too far from Belmopan. I will be staying with a host family for 5 weeks. This is when we really begin our cultural integration and hopefully get a grasp on my new language--k'ekchi. Technical training begins also so we will be spending time educating and building (most likely latrines) Our host families have been told not to speak any English as this will facilitate quicker learning and integration.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now but just have to trust that all is in perfect order. I worry that I'm too old and that my hearing is impaired enough to make learning the language even tougher. I miss all of you so much. So far, I haven't been one of the ones to get any dysentery. We have been warned about botflies and scorpions...so far the only dangerous creature I've seen is a tarantula. (As long as they stay out of my bed, I'm ok!!)

I've been told that the next five weeks we will be using an outside latrine for obvious purposes. It's likely that I'll be sleeping in a hammock (that's ok) and eating all kinds of new dishes...iguana, turtle, gibnut. (Nothing that Dino hasn't eaten!!!) This is really an adventure.

From what I can tell, these first six months are all about adaptation and integration into the communities or villages. Once we have established trust, it is then that we may make a difference that might last. I'm excited about the possibilities.

Internet service and satelitte connections will be spotty so this is probably the last blog for awhile.

Thought for the day...don't take running water and electricity and a nice comfortable bed for granted!!!

God bless us all....tracy

Correction on our history lesson. The hurricane that hit Belize City was Hattie in 1981. The government buildings were moved soon after to Belmopan. It's the smallest capital I've ever seen!

God bless us all! tracy

Today was culture day. We took a bus ride to San Ignacio and Benque and had dancers and a flutist perform for us at a local high school. Later, we traveled to the ruins at Xunantunich and hiked a mile up a road that led to the ruins and then climbed to the top. I'll enclose some pix at a later date when I have the help of a knowledgeable friend with me. Tomorrow is an off day (Sunday) and some of us are going to the river to wash our clothes in the river. I'm not sure I'll be losing weight as every meal is delicious and full of carbs! Every lunch and dinner has beans and rice or rice and beans. The people here are very kind. What impresses me the most is how there are so many different people speaking various languages and they all seem to respect each other. I've heard lots of Kriol, Spanish, English, and (get this) Chin-Italian. (All the business owners in Belmopan are Chinese descent. Speaking of Belmopan--Terri Stephens was partly right about Belize City being the capital. Apparently there was a big hurricane here back in the 80's and the capital was moved from Belize City to Belmopan. The government hoped this would bring business and industry to this inland town but it never materialized. The Peace Corps Belize office is here in Belmopan but it is a tiny town that never expanded other than a few government offices. There are about 4 roads, maybe 50 houses, a market place and a bus terminal.

We leave Belmopan Thursday and go to our prospective training center. My group (healthy communities) will be going to a town called Armenia. After five weeks we will all be sent to individual villages in the south(Toledo district) and will be quite remote so these blogs I'm afraid (mostly for me!!) will be fewer and further between. And Betty, half of the healthy communities volunteers are women and we will be going to these villages alone. I can only hope and pray that the people will be as kind as they are here and I'm sure they will be. Kekchi will be my new language.

Leaving to go have my eighth burrito for dinner (not alot of variety)

God bless us all. Tracy