Mulembe! Greetings! These past few months have been surprisingly busy, productive, and a bit of the same old same old. This post is going to be a somewhat long post with short blurbs about the events that took place over the past few months. I will be sure to write about work happenings next time. I hope you enjoy! Kale!

Give Thanks!!!

Last Thanksgiving I told myself that next year I am going to celebrate the holiday with PCVs. But when the time came around I was in Kampala for medical. So instead of doing a PCV event, Heidi and I went over to a Peace Corps staff person’s home and celebrated the holiday with him and his family. It was really really nice to celebrate not only with Americans, but with a family. I do not buy the false Native Americans and Pilgrims Thanksgiving story…but I do believe that Thanksgiving is a time when you give thanks to The Creator for all the blessings you have in your life, and I think there is nothing more to be thankful for than family. I wish I was with my family, but being around a family was a great substitution. My mother called me around 1AM (she is still having trouble understanding the time difference) and passed the phone to all of my beautiful family members that celebrated Thanksgiving in NYC. It was so strange hearing my little cousins’, nieces’, and nephews’ voices, they are maturing so rapidly… (I had a little “I am missing everything” moment…so sad). The following Saturday Ashley (my Peace Corps BFF) organized a very quant Thanksgiving celebration. We did not have a turkey, macaroni and cheese, or stuffing…but it was still great…good food and amazing company…what more can you ask for?

A Christmas Rant!

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not like the commercialization of Christmas. You will never find me queuing up for hours to buy an over priced gift or spending all of my money to materially show my love…I just can’t do it. My mother and sister thinks its because I am very cheap, and I think that is part of it…but, the other part of is that the meaning behind Christmas gets lost in the quest of trying to find the perfect gift. Some historians will say that Christmas came as the result of Christians in Europe converting the pagans by forcing them to celebrate the birth of Christ and not the winter solstice. Others will say that Christmas is about reflecting, celebrating, and acknowledging the birth of Jesus Christ. I believe that Christmas should be a time when people reflect on their lives and see in what areas they can be more “Christ-like.” No one will be like Christ, that is not what his life and death was about, but we all can be a little more giving, loving, caring, supportive, non-judgmental, thankful…and the list goes on. Therefore, during this time we can assess and see where in our lives we can improve spiritually. I do not mean attending church, but in your everyday life…life outside of the church…how can your life be more parallel to this man whose birth we celebrate.

Like last year, I had X-Mas lunch with the Wanendeya’s, and as always the food was amazing and the conversation was funny and enjoyable. After I went to Ashley’s house and had X-Mas dinner with her, Mike, Lucky, Stephanie, and Otto. Overall, Christians this year surpassed last year’s…my family called me about a thousand times…but I was proud of the fact that I did feel too homesick. Maybe because I knew that next year I would be with them, so I knew that I should enjoy my last X-Mas in Uganda…in essence remain in the present moment.

My Birthday!

Since I was 16 years old, I have been celebrating my birthday with my twin, Frances Osaigbovo. From December 23rd (her birthday) to December 26th (my birthday) we would party. We would party so much that by New Years Eve we were exhausted, broke, and could not bring ourselves to leave the house…lol. However, this tradition as been put on hold since I am in Uganda and she is in Cuba…sadly, birthdays in Uganda do not really feel like birthdays. But, I can say that my birthday this year was really quiet and overall very nice. Ashley, Otto, Stephanie and I went to a restaurant in Kampala…waited in pure Ugandan fashion about an hour for our food (Otto waited about 2). We could not hangout too much in Kampala, because Peace Corps have this strict Kampala policy due to the upcoming elections and the recent bombings and threats…but we really did not hangout to much because we had to get up early in the morning to travel to Rwanda.

Rwanda

I can officially say that my life long quest to visit every country in Africa is in full swing…thanks to my visit to Rwanda…I have only 51 more countries to go…lol…what what!!

When people think of Rwanda the first thing that comes to their mind is the word genocide. I have to admit that my knowledge of the country is also limited to movies and documentaries about the genocide. Although knowing about the genocide and the history of colonization of Rwanda is a good staring point in understanding their post-colonial issues. The country is far more complex and one can not simply stop at the genocide and think they understand Rwanda. I will not say that visiting Rwanda has made me an expert either, but my visiting as made me more interested and appreciative of their efforts to persevere. Not getting all deep with it… I will say that Rwanda is a country that is actively trying to move past the atrocities of the genocide (many Rwandans will praise and criticize these efforts). Rwandans are currently seeking to create a unifying Rwandan identity in the quest to create a more unified country. Ok…putting all this aside, Rwanda is amazingly beautiful country with endless hills, clean and well maintained roads, rapid urban development, amazing scenery, and really good pastries!

When we first reached Rwanda we stayed at Saint Paul in the heart of the Kigali (the capitol city). Thankfully, as we were waiting for the reception office to open we ran into Rwandan Peace Corps Volunteers. These PCVs were so nice and willing to assist us. They told us was where we could go to get a good decent priced meal (Rwandan currency is worth than Ugandan), and good places to visit. We checked into our hotel and one of the PVCs Kristy escorted us to a local restaurant with really amazing food. The stable foods in Rwanda are very similar to that of Uganda, the only difference is that the cost of food in Uganda is significantly cheaper…lol..man oh man Rwanda is expense (if you are coming to the country with Ugandan shillings). Kigali is a very beautiful and clean city…but not as happening as Kampala. After talking to the PCVs they told us that we should leave Kigali and go to Lake Kivi. They warn us that someone always throws up on the bus going or coming to the lake…but we just laughed that off. On the way to the lake the road is very scenic and beautiful; but also winding….I never become ill in vehicles. But half way outside of Kigali on the way to Lake Kivi…I thought I was going to throw up. I had to breathe deeply and not look out the window. The two hour or so drive felt like an eternity and I was certain that I was going to embarrass myself and throw up all over the bus. But, thankfully that did not happened. When we got to Lake Kivi, I was so surprise by how beautiful the lake was…it is the most beautiful lake I have ever seen….the mixture of the landscape and the water is breathtaking. We were supposed to stay only for two days, but it was so beautiful that we had to stay an extra day. After resting and enjoying Lake Kivi we made our way back to Kigali and I made sure that I did not eat anything so I would not feel nauseous on the bus. Half way to Kigali a woman in front opened the window and vomited and had the whole bus smelling like vomit. It took everything for me to not join her…lol….Once we made it back to Kigali we had lunch with another cool Rwandan PCV Jacelyn…who took us to the genocide memorial, but we got there too late (another reason to go back to Rwanda).

After talking to a woman at the Kampala Coach bus kiosk we brought our ticket to go back to Kampala on the 31st of December. The woman told us that the 6AM bus was full, but we could get on the 12:00AM bus. I was a bit surprise that they had a 12:00AM bus and since I could not speak French or Kinyarwanda I had the woman write down the time so it would be no confusion. In her nice handwriting she wrote 12:00AM December 31, 2010. So we all brought our tickets…we had about six hours until boarding time….so we went had dinner and walked around Kigali. Around 11:00 we went to the bus station to wait for the bus. When we got there the bus station was closed. We called the number on our tickets and no one answered the phone. We waited until 1:00AM and then decided to go back to the 24 hour mall and wait until 5:00AM, which was the time the bus station posted that it would open. We must have been looking really homeless and pathetic, because the owner of the coffee shop came over to us and offered us free coffee or tea. Around 5:00AM we went back to the bus station and it was bustling with people. After talking to the woman for about 30 mins about the mix up…and her telling me that we brought a ticket for 12:00PM not 12:00AM..we finally got out money back and we took another bus thankfully we were back in Kampala by 2:00PM...just in time to party! Despite this incident…we all had an amazing time in Rwanda and I will go back to visit again.

If I was given a dollar every time someone asked me this question I would have enough to buy a refrigerator. Whenever I meet someone (mostly foreigners) I can see their look of surprise when I start talking and I can see the question forming in there minds. After about an hour or a few drinks, they finally get the courage to ask me..."So how is it being Black in Uganda." I want to say dollar please. But instead I tell them...some blah...blah story. They look at me like I am not telling the complete story or maybe I am not telling them what they want to hear. I am not sure what it is, but honestly what do they want me to say? How can they really fully understand my experience? I am constantly trying to digest and understand my complex situation and now I have to explain it to a complete stranger that wants to include me in thier story of Uganda...huh!!! Anyway, I was asked by Peace Corps to write about my experience as a "Volunteer of Color," (dollar please)...so I wrote this off the head rant....

Every Peace Corps volunteer will have their own unique and personal experience. As an African-American volunteer I knew that my experience was going to be a very complex, rewarding, and unpredictable. However, I did not fully anticipate the challenges I would have to endure in my community and among other volunteers. Before I came to Uganda, I simply thought it was going to be very easy for me to adapt to Ugandan culture and feel apart of the community. For the most part I was correct. When I walk down the street it is more likely that I will hear “Auntie,” “Sister,” “Nyabo,” "South African," or “Maayi” before Muzungu. I have never received a marriage proposal from a stranger, I usually get the “fair” price when shopping at the market, and almost daily someone will assume and talk to me in the local language. However, my integration into the community is questioned the moment my accent is discovered or when my behavior is not Ugandan. I have to repeatedly answer the question, “Why do you look like us, but sound like them.” My existence as an African-American is constantly interrogated and examined. I have to repeatedly educate people in my community about African-American culture and dispel the belief that all Americans are white.

This lesson is one that I have had to teach Ugandans and my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers. On many occasions volunteers (not all) use white and Americans synonymously and I would have to correct them. I remember during training a volunteer came to present and repeatedly use white to describe volunteers. After the third time I stated, “Yes we are all American, but we are not all white.” Her response was, “I am sorry I did not see you.” Sadly, this is also the reality of African-American volunteers, many of the challenges that we face are at times an afterthought, because the majority of the volunteers will never understand this unique experience. Despite these challenges, being a African-American Peace Corps volunteer has allowed me to create personal, intimate, and substantial relationships with members in my community and has allowed me to receive a more complex picture of Ugandan life. I have become more proud of my heritage and more willing to educate people and learn that for most people my existence is unusual, but still as important in the narrative of America. The second goal of Peace Corps is to teach the host country about America and I am happy to say that my mere presence is fulfilling this goal.

Ok so this post is going to be an assortment of random things that have been on my mind or that has happened to me over the past month or so.

Hey Jamaican!!

I do not know what is going on. Maybe someone told someone who then told someone that I was not South African (or maybe they finally heard me when I screamed...I AM NOT SOUTH AFRICAN)....because as of late when I walk in town, people no longer scream South African. I have to admit that I was getting used to it and started to think that my Ugandan name was South African....but all is lost. Now people are screaming Jamaican...Jamaican..WTF. The first time someone screamed Jamaican I did not know what was going on....I looked around for a few seconds and was kind of excited. I even had a three second daydream about this beautiful Jamaican man with beautiful chocolate skin, thick locks down his back with mad swagger....what what!! But as I looked searched for this man...I soon realized that people where talking about me. Here we go again...but a least they are getting geographically close.

You have grown FAT!!

Many PCVs complain that Ugandans call them fat and say Americans will never call someone fat. I guess these people have never met my family. If you gain one pound...if you ass looks a little big you will hear a symphony of "Oh girl your are getting fat"..."Look at that butt wow"..."You have some baby making hips" and the list goes on. At least in Uganda if someone calls you fat its a complement. But I have for real gain weight (Black Vernacular Translation---I have gain a significant amount of weight) so I need to put down the sweet potatoes and cakes and pick up some weights. Starting this week I am going to start working out...my goal is to lose about 15 kilos by the time I go to Kenya in the Spring. I will try to document my progress somehow on this blog for accountability purposes.

Folk Music..yah..yah!

I truly love folk music...I must have been a country girl in my past life because I love down dirty folk music man (I know its a bit strange). So whenever I need my folk fix I choose a singer and obsess over him/her for about two months. So this year my obsession is Ray LaMontagne. He is great....his music is very introspective (one of my favorite words) and simply beautiful. I have to see this man in concert when I come back to the States.

Books

Coming back to Uganda from a 2 month hiatus has proved to be a bit challenging....so besides listening to some good music, I am also reading some great books. I am reading the New Earth for the third time and I just completed The Four Agreements (Alyson I will buy you another copy when I return...lol...love ya). So here is what I have learned (relearned) thus far:

1. Do not take things personal

2. Do not assume

3. Remain in the present moment

4. Let things go...do not hold on to anger

5. You are where you are suppossed to be

6. You have the power to create the life that you want

Upcoming Events!!

Peace Corps Mid-Service Conference

Donation of Books from Australia and USA

Thanksgiving

Trip to Rwanda

My B-Day, X-Mas, New Years Day

FUN FUN FUN

Yes I had a blast when I was home and parts of me did not want to come back to Uganda. You know…I did not have to explain my existence to people…No I am African-American….ok fu@k it…South African…whatever. It was just comfortable and nice to be home. Then my father got sick and I felt guilty getting on the plane to come back…but the funny thing is he was very clear about the importance of me going back to Uganda and finishing what I started. So I could not use him as an excuse...lol….So I put on my big gurl panties and got on the plane. Although I made the decision to come back, I still felt strange and overwhelmed and did not want to face things at site just yet. So I stayed in Kampala for a few days relaxing and eating everything (I know it’s not good to use food to cope) but it was fun.

When I came back to Mbale and it was raining and cold ( I hate the cold…but I truly despise the rain) so my mood was a bit off. I came to work and I felt like I was away for two months and so much should have been done in my absence…..but that was not the case. I have this belief that if things are not moving when I am not there then I am not doing something right. So I felt like some people dropped the ball and things at work was not improving at the rate that they should be (or that I thought they should be). So naturally I was a bit depress and was wondering….what am I doing here?? Peace Corps professes that we are here to build capacity, but is that what I am doing??? So I had a moment people…yes I did. So whenever I am feeling down in Uganda I talk to my BFF Ashley (but she was on holiday in Spain) or my Supervisor the Kenyan Explosion. You know when you are feeling down and you do now know how you are going to get your self back up and then someone that you truly value assists you in putting things in perspective???!!! So that is what happened to me after my conversation with my supervisor. So here is a little piece of our conversation….

Me: (said in a very dramatic tone) I mean what am I doing here?? I feel like things are not moving. I have been here for a year and I feel like I have nothing to show for my time here.

Supervisor: (said very calmly and with an intense Kenyan accent) I see change…I see that things are changing since you been here. I think you want to see a mountain a huge thing so you can say I did this or I did that. But look at ants. Look how they work…slowly by slowly they build and they build mountains. That is how life is….that is how things work. But you want this to see this huge mountain now…but things do not work that way. I am sure you can look back and see how things were when you first came. Are they still the same.

Me: No

Supervisor: Ok so you can’t say that you are not doing anything. Keep working have a plan of action for the next year. Keep your mind on that. Otherwise what is the point?

After this conversation my mood completely changed. I was able to put the dramatics away and focus on what is really important. Which is assisting my organization anyway I can….not validating my existence from this experience. As I said before and many people have said before….its not about you….its not about you. Ok let me get back to work! I will keep you posed….PEACE!!!!

On being home!!!

Many people talk about the adjustment period that Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) have to endure when they go back to the States. For many people, depending on where they served, this transition can take months. I once heard of a PCV who could not come back to the States, because her transition was too much for her to handle. I think that is a bit much, but I do not know this person so I can not judge. For me…I experience culture shook the moment I arrived in JFK airport. First, my mother was late (Color People Time) and I did not have any means of contacting her. So I went to change my beautiful and colorful Ugandan Shillings at the exchange counter and the conversation between me and the woman behind the counter went something like this:

Me: Hello. How are you? I would like to exchange some money…thank you.

Worker: (said in the nastiest tone) We do not exchange that currency here.

Me: Excuse me please…so what am I supposed to do I need money so I can use the pay phone to call my mother.

Worker: You can use the ATM to take out money. Next

Me: Wait…where is the ATM?

Worker: Over there. Next…..

So I went and took 20 dollars out of the ATM, but then I realize that the pay phone does not take bills. So I go back over to my helpful friend.

Me: Hello. Can I have change for this bill so I can use the pay phone?

Worker: We do not give out change.

Me: So what am I supposed to do I need to use the pay phone and I only have this 20 dollar bill.

Worker: You can go over there (pointing) and buy a 10 dollar calling card. Next

Shit at that point I was so confused over the whole situation. All I kept thinking was that if this was Uganda someone would have given me their phone to call my mother or assisted me somehow. Thankfully, my mother came right when I was going to buy the calling card, because God only knows how confused and frustrating that process was going to be.

The next culture shook moment was ordering at a restaurant. Usually in Mbale you go to certain restaurants because they have a certain dish that you like and nothing else. For the most part you do not have that many options. However, my Frances and I went to a restaurant thinking that we were just going to order something fast. The waiter brought out the menu and it was the size of a small book. We both looked at each other, like that are we supposed to do with this?! Since she is going to school in Cuba, she understands the lack of food options that exists outside of the States…so I could not assist her and she could not assist me. We both looked through the menu for 20 minutes and could not decide what to order. We both could not believe that this restaurant could have all these options. After about 30 minutes we told the waiter to order for us. I think he thought that we were both crazy, but chile I could not make up my mind…it was option overload.

I was also not used to the lack of clothing…lol…in Uganda women dress very modestly. Unless you are in Kampala (the capitol) women rarely wear pants and skirts are typically worn below the knee. So being in NYC during the summer with all the women wearing next to nothing was very difficult for me. My cousin had to ask me if I was hot multiple times before I understood that I was not dressing culturally appropriate for New York…lol. But I did not feel comfortable wearing short clothing or bearing my arms…I felt naked and inappropriate.

But I did observed some aspects of NYC that was somehow similar to Mbale:

1. Loud Black people…I mean just loud for no reason at all.

2. Loud rap, reggae, or salsa music…because you have to share your music with the community.

3. Children running around unattended and just in the way…I wanted to tell so many children to just go somewhere and sit down.

4. Men hanging out in the streets…committing soooooo much sin.

5. Men harassing you as you pass them on the street…”Excuse…how are you doing? Can I talk to you for a moment? You should smile. Do I know you from somewhere? You are very pretty mama. You can’t say hi? You anit all that anyway”

6. Overcrowded buses and trains (Come one MTA….get it together)

But overall my trip home was fu@cking amazing. Despite my father getting hospitalized (pray for him) it was a great to be home. My family is still huge, loud, and continue to procreate. My friends are still the best group of chosen people, and I am so thankful that I have them in my life. And my city…ohhhhhh… I re-realized that NYC is the best city in the world and the best of America… the people are a testimony to the cultural mix salad that is America. I am so thankful that my grandparents went on the Great Migration from the South to the North…lol….(no offense to my Southern or Western brothers and sisters). NYC teaches us that the world is a very small place and more exciting, colorful, meaningful, and brilliant when we all are allowed to shine together.

So it is official I have been a Peace Corps Volunteer for over a year now and I have only a year to go. I would like to say that I celebrated with my former volunteers and did something Peace Corprish (whatever that means) but no I was home in NYC, but my I was contemplating on my experience in Uganda and those I have met....truthfully those I wish I have not met (just keeping it real). But overall I can honestly say that my experience as a volunteer has transcended all of my expectations. I would like to believe that a year ago I was open to the process and had little to no expectations and put all my faith in God and in this process. But that would not be entirely true...the truth is I was scared shitless, I did not know what I was doing....but I have enough sense to manage my panic and remain calm on the outside, but inside I was filled with so many conflicting emotions. However, I am so proud of myself for not letting fear stop me from doing something that I have wanted to do for so long. During the first few months of being in Uganda the fear did not go away, it just lessen...and by month six in country I can honestly say that Uganda is my third home (next to Philadelphia)....I have realize so many things by being in the space....these realizations about myself and people in general. I would love to say that I have accomplished so many things over the past year, but I truly believe that its not the big things that you do, but the small, thoughtful and meaningful actions that count. Have I saved Uganda....No...Firstly, Uganda does not need saving and secondly that it not my job. My job is and will always be to assist when needed and make sure that I am empowering people to realize that just because I have a US birth certificate that I am not more knowledgeable than them...simply that like all people they have something valuable to give to the world. This is one of the lessons I will take with me to America...as the say in counseling....if you are working harder then the people you are serving, you are not doing your job.

Lessons:

Work

So yes I have done really good work, but I still deal with the fact that there is so much more to be done...but when these thoughts come to me, I have to check myself and think...is it important to have twenty million projects going on that will end when I return to the US or have one or two meaningful projects setup in a way that if I were to leave tomorrow they will continue???? I like to think that the later is more important so that is what I choose to focus on. No matter where you are in the world and in life, its always the small things that make the biggest difference.

Language

No I am not fluent in the local language, but yes I can greet in three local languages and my English has improved dramatically (lol).

Community

I love Mbale, and although I still hear people scream South African when I walk pass...I think I have become apart of the community. I have friends in town, a hairdresser, and soon I think I may create a female jogging group with some of the women that I live near. Am I so apart of the community that people think I am Ugandan...Please....and NO....but I feel more and more like I am home and comfortable. I think that is all you can ask for.....

Peace Corps Overall

All I am say is that it is nothing like I thought it was going to be....but everything I needed it to be.

One Year to Go

So this upcoming year I hope to continue to develop out current programs at the library, and also volunteer at the main Mbale public library in town. I would like to travel to other countries in East Africa....and just continue to enjoy this experience...

Ok so this post is going to be about things that have been on my mind. I am sure that they are not connected, but connected in someway…somehow… maybe…or maybe not

When I first thought of becoming a Peace Corps volunteer I contacted many former volunteers to hear their experience and I also went to some informational sessions where RPCVs (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers) would talk about their Peace Corps experience. Most of these people lived in a small village and had to deal with not having running water or electricity…they talked about the harshness of their living situation…but also how much they had changed and matured from the experience. So I thought that Peace Corps was living in the middle of nowhere, travel miles to get to the market, and nothing like anything I would ever experience….essentially so different from my life in America. Once I reached site I soon discovered how wrong I was... just from examining my cohort’s diversity of sites and living situation….I realized that there is not a generic Peace Corps experience. I think many people sadly believe (including me) that if they are not in the bush, they are not having an authentic experience and I say that is bullshit. Ok I am not saying that its bullshit because I am not in the bush, but because it undermines everyone’s experience. This is not the 1960’s and countries are developing rapidly and it’s extremely ignorant and counterproductive to say that you must rough it in order to have an authentic Peace Corps experience. If you are doing amazing work in a city, town, or village then you are doing your part…so many people get caught up in the fantasy and forget why they are in PC in the first place. Its not about you all the time people, but the sad thing is to tell anyone that they are not the center of the universe is very difficult…its hard to digest for some...I must admit I sometimes have issues internalizing this fact….but as Lauryn Hill said, “fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.” So yes I live in a large town, I have running water and somewhat constant electricity, but my experience is just a valuable and needed in the narrative of Peace Corps…because I am working…simply working!

So I am officially losing my sense of personal space…I am having a hard time distinguishing between an invasion or just what you have to endure while riding in a taxi. I can not tell you how many times I had to hold a bag, baby, or rest half of my ass on someone lap so I can get to point A to point B…what am I going to do when I go to NYC??? The birthplace of personal space...the place where looking too long is an invitation to a fight.

Uganda has made me reconnect with my love of staring. When I was younger one of my favorite hobbies was to sit wherever and stare at people. I would create crazy stories about their lives…shit it was enjoyable and free. But somehow I learned that staring at people was rude…but in Uganda staring is a given. Everyone stares from the old men to young babies…people will stare chile. At first I would look at my clothing to make sure I was dressed appropriately….but now its strange because now I am not sure if people are staring at me or I am staring at them and they are now looking at me like what are you staring at…. but the best part of staring in Uganda is when I stare at someone for too long to the point when they become uncomfortable...lol.. all I have to do is greet them and they are all smiles...its great. I hope it also works in NYC.

When I came to Uganda I was a vegetarian for six years. I used to drive my family crazy with screams of…don’t put meat in that…don’t put that too close to the meat. The smell of meat would turn my stomach. I was certain that I would never eat meat again. But all that has changed. I wish I can say that I went to someone’s house and they slaughtered an animal for me or something along those lines but no. One of my friends was eating fried goat meat and offered me a piece and the rest is history. But in my defense the meat that they sell in the market is fresh and is not pumped with hormones…so I do not feel bad…and besides it taste amazing!!!

If another person asks me if I am married, why I am not married, or when I am getting married I am going to burst. During many social events people introduce themselves like this: Hello my name is Maria and I am 25…I work at the hospital….I am a born again Christian...and I am single and searching. WTF…yes people they disclose their marital status. So you know you have to be cultural appropriate and do the same…and this is when all the questions and comments surface…Hope you are getting old you need to get married soon…Do you want to get married?....I can’t wait for your wedding…I am praying that you marry an Ugandan man so you will stay….Can I come to your wedding? I sadly thought that the pressure that I felt from my family at home about not being married and not having children was not going to follow across the Atlantic but how wrong was…I told my mother about the pressure Ugandans give me about not being married and she told me to tell them that I have time and there is no rush. So I told her could I say that to you when you ask me a thousand times about getting married and having children…she said no I am your mother and you really don’t have much time…oh boy!!!

Greetings from Uganda…I hope you are all in good health and spirits. Being in Uganda has made me more sentimental and introspective…so I truly hope my words will fully capture my overflow of emotions. I wish I was physically present to celebrate this momentous occasion with you all, everyone knows that the Fordham STEP program always has the most amazing food at all their events…. But please know that you all are in my thoughts and I am celebrating with you in spirit.

To the seniors, words cannot express how proud I am of all of you. With the passage of time, you all have matured into true scholars…you have transformed into role models in your families, schools, communities, and within the STEP program…. As they say in Uganda… WELL DONE!!!

As you embark on the next chapter in your life, please remain open to the endless possibilities that lay before you. Take advantage of every opportunity that allows you to grow, learn, develop, and explore. Do not limit yourself by surrendering to your fears or doubts. Take the much needed time to listen to your heart…and choose the path that will propel you, challenge you, and overall make you a better person.

Understand that your path is uniquely yours and yours alone. Some will understand, while others will question your direction…you will also at times second guess yourself and wonder if you are on the right track. This is all apart of the process. But rest assured in knowing, that yes you will make mistakes along the way, but you cannot and will not fail. Your experience as a STEP student has proven that you are capable of the extraordinary…..you all are destined to accomplish things beyond your own comprehension. My only caution is that as you navigate through life...keep in mind one important fact…although your path is unique and personal; it should also...no..it must also benefit those that are coming after you and celebrate those that came before you.

I congratulate you all again and I wish you nothing but blessings and more blessings.

Until we meet again….

With Love,

Kiera

Hey Fam….I am sorry for not writing sooner, but so much has been going on. The month of April came and went so quickly..I went on vacation to Ssesse Islands (these are beautiful islands in the middle of Lake Victoria) and I went to Sippi Falls (amazing waterfalls about an hour outside of Mbale). Both of these places were so beautiful and relaxing and I enjoyed myself more than I thought possible. Uganda is truly a beautiful country, I am so thankful that I have this opportunity. Being in Uganda is teaching me so much about who I am as a person of African decent and how important it is to know who you are….more importantly to completely love and accept who you are…so why did I entitled this post “Hope..What Tribe Are You From?” you ask…because many Ugandans do not ask me where I am from. Many simply tell me that I am South African and if I have the energy I will correct them, but when I don’t I let them come to their own conclusions. But Madam Jane’s daughter was the first person to ask me this question and it was so nice of her to ask instead of assume. So you know I could not simply tell her that I was African American, I had to tell her the whole history of the transatlantic slave trade (I even drew a map people..lol), segregation, the civil rights movement, and the connections between continental Africans and those in the Diaspora ( I did not get a Masters in African/African American studies for nothing). I also talked to her about Africans in South America and the Caribbean. I count this conversation as a triumph, I am sure that before this conversation she may have thought that all Americans where white (shit there are many Peace Corps Volunteers that think white and American are synonymous…and they are from America..I guess all the millions of Black and Brown people do not exist in their America). I am sure that when I go home in three months to visit my family I will have a similar conversation.

So how is work you ask?? It is going extremely well… many Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) say that the first year goes by extremely slow and the second year is a blink. That is because for many PVCs they have to find work at their organization or community and that can be a very slow and tedious process. However, that is not my reality, I can say that the first few months at BCC were slow, but now things are going so fast and I have more than enough work to do at site. After submitting a grant to Uganda’s Community Library Association, we were notified that our library was one of the recipients….I am proud to announce that BCC’s community library is now the proud owners of 90+ Ugandan children books. Now the students can read stories that pertain to their lives, culture, and customs…I am certain that these books will promote a reading culture in young people and may even inspire some to become writers in the future. I also requested additional African relevant books from Book Aid and I was notified this week that our books should be in the mail shortly. So its safe to say that things are coming along well…I am thanking God everyday for using me to do great work and allowing me to remain open to learning, growing, and helping. All Praise to God!! Besides the grant, the library is also implementing some great educational programs. We are expanding our “Story Time” to five surrounding primary schools and three nursery schools, we are also implementing spelling bees and reading competitions, and lastly we are going to start an early literacy program where mothers from the village can bring their young babies to the library to experience “Story Time.” So to say the least, things are moving fast and I am just thanking the Creator for all the blessings.

Although I talk to my family and friends very often, they are still having difficulties understanding the work I am doing in Uganda (I know I have been here for almost eight months and people still think I am teaching…come on people), so this post is intended to clarify and answer some of the questions I have been asked repeatedly...and my sad attempt at keeping my promise to blog. Although I went to school for education and for the past six years have been working in various educational settings (blah, blah, blah), I am not an education volunteer (I know...crazy right!?). When I first received my invitation to come to Uganda I was told that I was a Youth Development Volunteer; however, once in-country, I was informed that I was still Youth Development, but on paper I was considered a Health Volunteer (I am sure you are confused because so was I). The funny thing is that the thought of being near a hospital would make me sick, thanks to my frequent visits to the clinic as a child. My mother LOVES her doctor’s appointments. I am sure that she is now coming from or waiting for her next doctor’s appointment. So naturally... I despise being anywhere near a clinic, hospital, or dispensary. So when I was told that I was a health volunteer, I was to say the least--baffled, but I was told that since I was under Youth Development it was unlikely that I would be placed in a clinic. But after a site change…guess what?? I was placed at a clinic…HAY!! But thankfully my organization, Bushikori Christian Centre (BCC) not only has a health clinic, but also a primary school, sponsor program, and community library. Sooooooo….What am I doing you ask??? I am currently involved in two projects. The first project is creating a human resource database system for BCC. We have a staff of more than 50 and need a system that will help manage employees and ensure accountability. Let me just say that the process of creating this database been is a very draining, time consuming, and educational…I am forced to pay very close attention to every detail and allow myself to make mistakes--a lot of them. I am certain that when this database is complete (sometime in the near future….I hope) BCC will function more effectively. The second project I am working on is assisting Madam Jane, the librarian, in creating educational programs for the students at the primary school. We just submitted a grant (please keep us in your prayers) through the Ugandan Community Library Association. If we receive this grant, we will have the resources to expand the community library’s programs to surrounding schools. We are also in the process of writing another grant that will enable us to purchase additional computers, so we can offer internet services to the community. In relation to the clinic (oh..yeah…I am a health volunteer), let’s just say that we are still in the process of figuring out what my role will be, due to my lack of medical expertise. So I hope this clears up the confusion….but I am sure people will still think I am a teacher.

The Question About Hair (This is for Biany) So I truly truly love my hair…one thing that all Black women, on the continent and in the Diaspora, have in common is our issues with our hair. The whole notion of good hair and bad hair is a universal problem. Growing-up I would hear comments like, “You are light skin, but you have bad hair." I did not know what bad hair meant, but I knew that since my hair was bad, I could not possibly love my hair. So I went through childhood and part of my young adult life hating my hair, looking for the product that was going to transform my hair into something that was good. I went from perms that burned my hair to braids that pulled it out. I finally came to my senses and cut it all off and made the choice to lock my hair. That was four years ago, and I have never felt so free and beautiful, and my hair has never been sooooooooo good.

Before I was schedule to leave for the Peace Corps, I decided to dye my hair black (it was a mixture of sooooooo many colors), I guess the dye was too strong and my hair broke off (The funny things is that the black is almost gone and my hair is as light as it was before…a lesson in...if it’s not broken leave the shit alone Kiera). Two days before I was to accept my invitation to the Peace Corps, my placement officer told me that I would have to first cut my hair because locks are not socially acceptable. After emailing PC Uganda a picture of my hair, they decided that my hair was fine (thank you lawd). So now that I am in Uganda, I see so many people with locks in their hair…ok so most of those people are musicians. Reggae music and Jamaica culture (all African culture to me….just a different branch from the same tree) is huge in Ugandan pop culture, last year the dancehall king himself, Beenie Man came to Kampala (it was amazing). Although many Ugandan male singer and rappers have locks; it is still uncommon for women to have them (unless you are in Kampala). In Mbale there are a few salons that are capable of doing my hair; however, I prefer to do my own hair..it makes me feel at one with myself…no I am lying...I am just really cheap. But I truly love my hair, and I am so proud to announce that Grace, my supervisor’s oldest daughter, has decided to lock her hair, and it looks soooooooooooooo beautiful. I am sure that she will have to endure many challenges, but I am confident she will be victorious.

I know...I know...I know...I should have been writing many many months ago. Detailing the whole process of transitioning from the best city in the world, New York City of course (my own personal opinion, but I am sure others will agree), to (according to my host-brother) the best country in East Africa (or Africa for that matter...ok wait...I can only confirm this after I visit Kenya, Tanzania, Rwanda, Burundi…or we could just take his word for it) UGANDA. I should have written about how training was vaguely similar to high school (so you know I hated it..no disrespect to the training staff, you guys are amazing), with a few exceptions… a six days week schedule and the same people in all of your classes (HATED IT). I should have written about my amazing host family (love you Yai Yai), who after 7 months, still finds time to contact me at least once a week to make sure that I am OK or to discuss America’s Got Talent (I think they really want to make sure that I did not leave the country without informing them). I should have written about my first organization (if you want to call it that) and my hasty site change (after calling the Peace Corps twenty million times using my Black girl voice) and my wonderful new organization (thank GOD). I most definitely should have written a post when Jerry (who is more like an ya friend..not ya mama) left or when my homegirl, sister from another mother...West Coast Diva, Tina gave Peace Corps the peace sign (so sad so sad)..leaving me to be the poster Black American girl with no poster(for all you Ani fans)..... Or how my name has been shorten to Hope and whenever someone calls me I think of my mom, so in essence she is always with me somehow (I miss my Mommy). But the truth is….ummmmm…life happens when you are writing, and my busy life has not allowed me the pleasure of….you know…sitting down thinking about what to write, what adjectives and pronouns to use. If I should use wit here or drama there..ok! OK...OK...OK..I am so lying..lol..the truth is that although I call myself a writer and a lover of books, I HATE WRITING!!!! Ok that is not fair to the writing fairies who has blessed me with their presence (please don't leave me...I need you..I do...I know not what I say), it’s just that the process of writing makes me nerves..kinda like being on a blind date or having a male Gynecologist....(so strange…never again). But for the sake of remembering this already beyond my expectations experience and to connect my family, friends, and random folks to my little piece of Uganda....to the people that color my life and make being here all worthwhile, who inspire me with their commit to their community, and daily create the change that they wish to see (for all of my Gandhi lovers) I will make a commitment to be committed to writing. I welcome you to leave your comments, questions, and concerns. I promise that I will read them and TRY my best to reply. But, before I bid you all farewell and promise to write again, I just want to share this with you...so my favorite professor McCoy asked me via Facebook chat what I learned so far in Uganda. After thinking I wrote this (McCoy please correct me if I left anything out):

"I learned that people are the same no matter where you go: wonderful, beautiful, and dangerous. I also learned that we all need each other because we are all connected." I think that sums up my experience so far in Uganda, but I will be sure to write sooner next time.

Ok my Loves....I truly love and miss you all. Until next time, stay blessed!!!

Hugs and Kisses!

Kiera Hope or simply Hope

The funny thing about life or maybe its just people is that waiting for things feel like an eternity. However, when we get what we have been waiting for, we realized that we have not been waiting at all. That is what I am experiencing with the Peace Corps application process. I have been driving myself and those near me crazy...and as of yesterday June 4, 09..six months after I was medical cleared I received my invitation to the Peace Corps.

So as of August 2nd, 09 I will leave my beloved New York, family, friends, and students for Uganda!!! I am going through so many emotions. I received my invitation I was so shocked (isn't that funny) and then after telling my sister the news I had a mini breakdown. This breakdown usually happens when I am about to embark on a road that is gong to change my life in ways I cannot yet understand. It's a ritual of mine....a must. After my breakdown I was able to accept the reality (and goodness) of the situation...for the next 27 months I will be living in Uganda. More importantly, I thank the Creator for this opportunity.

The funny thing is that all I could think about was how fast this moment came..lol...

Ok..let me stop writing before I cry again!!!

I have never really been a patient person. I can blame it on the fact that I am a Capricorn and my sign compels me to always want to know what is going on and plan every second of my life. But over the past year, I have been learning the process of patience. I naively thought that one day I was going to wake up and have this thing called patience. But, I am realizing that acquiring patience is a process. An on-going journey with ups and downs, frustrations, and at times acceptances…only to complete the cycle all over again.

I did not know that applying to the Peace Corps was going to teach me so much about myself and about life. I thought that would happen once I was in-country. But, the funny or should I say beautiful thing about life is that every moment, every experience, very action teaches you something. So this point in the application process, I am learning that the road to having patience is not a straight line with overly cultivated terrain. But one that is full of twists and turns, happiness, sadness, fears of the unknown, peace, negative thoughts, acceptance, and so much more. Also, when you think you have mastered something, life will test you. This will help you understand that you have not mastered anything, only one level on this journey we called life.

So, as I wait for my invitation I am learning that a part of me is learning how to be patient and is enjoying the process. While the other part of me wants to know..so I can make plans and daydream sufficiently. And, it is ok…

I was one. I was one of the millions of people that traveled by car, bus, train, or foot to Washington D.C. for the inauguration of President Obama. We all had our reasons for being there, all pressed together and happily pleased. Searching for him in each other. As we struggled to remain warm. And although warmth never came, we did not mind at all.

My reasons for going are stereotypical and unique...and too personal to say. But I will say that I am hopeful, that we as people of this nation and the world will continue to strive for the movement towards being free. Towards being less afraid of ourselves and each other. Move towards a space where strangers don't have to be strange and limits don't have to be truths.

Regardless of the outcome, in the words of Michelle Obama, for once in my life I am proud to be an American and I feel like an American--not hyphenated or subjugated; and I am so proud to be an American. For a person of African and Native American decent this moment was a long time in the making.

Blessed Be God!!!!

Do you love Tracy Chapman? Well, to say that saying that I love Ms. Chapman will be an understatement. I can not tell you how many times her songs have made situations more clearer, words more understandable, and choices easier. As I embark on this new adventure...I am once again depending on her to make me realize how important, special, and needed I truly am. If you are not a fan, I highly suggest you read her lyrics. They are amazing, and I am sure she will help you discover the wonders and beauty that lives inside you.

Another amazing singer and mentor is Ani Difranco. Ani has redefined what it means to be successful and she wrote the book on never changing who you are for change ($). Her songs talk about liberation, Women’s rights, and how to become a more aware human being. Whenever I feel like I am not following my heart, I play any Ani CD and I find my way.

I am also listening to Ayo; she is Afro-German Folk-Like singer. She only has one album out, but the few songs I heard are impressive.

On November 4, 2008, the same day that Obama became president, I found out that I was medically cleared. I was extremely happy words can't explain how happy I was when I received that e-mail. So currently I am waiting for the placement office to let me know what country I am going to....I must admit that I have never been a patient person. So this experience is teaching me some valuable lessons...the most important lesson is that I must not look towards the future for happiness but choose happiness everyday. I am understanding that happiness is a state of mind, it is not a location. I really want to go to the Peace Corps and I am very excited, but in order for me to enjoy my life and practice patience I must focus my energy on the present.

I must admit its been a struggle--such is life. But I see progress and that is very impressive. I was told by my recruiter that I should get more experience working for an organization that supports people with HIV/AIDS, so at this moment I am in the process of trying to locate a organization I can volunteer with.... I thought this process was not going to be this difficult, however, this has been a uphill battle. Hopefully this will be a thing of the past.

For all of you who do not know, after many years and months of thinking and talking to numerous people who have served and have opinions on serving, I have decided to apply to become a Peace Corps Volunteer. Surprisingly my family is very supportive. I they look at my decision as something that I would do (whatever that means), so they were not as moved as I thought they would be, and honestly I am happy for that. My father is not in the best of health, but he understands that this is something that I want to do and he understands the importance of this decision. That is extremely comforting...well after playing around, I submitted my application and on August 14, 2008 at 2:00 pm. I will have an interview with my Peace Corps Recruiter soon. I am not nervous about the interview...I tend to do well, I just wonder what they will tell me, would they let me know when I can expected to leave and what country I will be sent to.... The whole process is a bit confusing and not as standard as I thought. But, I am so ready for this...I will let you know how it all goes...

With Love,

Kiera