Last week, my sister in law, Greta met us in La Paz. La Paz is a lovely city that sits in a "bowl" surrounded by mountains. Some of the city is built on steep hills, which makes you wonder what happens if a natural disaster happens. I love La Paz for its topography, the markets (which we spent 4 days at), and traditional culture. We spent our first few nights at "Loki Hostel", which was nice, but after 3 days there, we wanted a more "mellow" hostel, and one with a kitchen. We enjoyed our stay at "Adventure Brew Hostel" (mainly because we had our own room, which was nice after staying in a 14 bed dorm at the previous hostel).

We spent a day at the ruins in Tiwanaku , which we weren't too impressed by. Nonetheless, I still enjoyed the day out of the city, and riding in a microbus with locals. However, it has been a bit hard to to talk to the locals. I'm not sure if it is because it is a poorer country and the people have "pena" or perhaps they just don't like Americans. There is also a great possibilty they just don't understand my ghetto spanish. Despite the locals timid behavior towards us, Bolivia has been my favorite country so far. And it is also cheap as chips!

The witch market

the crossing guards dressed as zebras

practicing a way to earn my money in Bolivia

(at the instrument museum)

the view from Mirador Killi Killi

Don't look down.One of my favorite South American experiences thus far has been biking down "the world's most dangerous road", which is from La Paz to Coroico. We went through the most expensive company, Gravity Assistance Mountain Biking, which vale la pena, because we didn't die. The road had many beautiful views, in which, I didn't get to enjoy too much. As hard as it was to do, the main focus for me was to pay attention to my biking, and not at the beautiful scenery or the iridescent blue butterflies flying by. (There was a death due to a boy watching one fly past him as he was biking). 300-400 people die each year on this road. The last death was just last week (we saw the remains of the shattered car about 300 meters down.) They have just recently built a safer road to replace this road, but it is still used by many bikers and tourists who want to enjoy the experience on this beautiful, yet dangerous road.

We are currently at Lake Titikaka, which is on the border of Bolivia and Peru. It is the largest lake in South America and the highest lake in the world.

Lake Titikaka

In this economy, businesses want to hire the most qualified, creative, intelligent, passionate candidate they can for a new position. We at the National Peace Corps Association think that people who have served in the Peace Corps – in a developing country with countless chances to develop cross-cultural skills and resourcefulness – make some of the best colleagues around. Here’s a short (slightly cheeky) list of why we think you should hire a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV).

We enjoy problem-solving. Need to put together a desk from IKEA, hang paintings, fix the copier, figure out that weird spreadsheet thing? There’s nothing a little duct tape won’t fix.We can talk to anyone and are comfortable anywhere. Whether it’s the village chief, a market woman, a ministry official, or a cranky vendor … we have experience interacting with all kinds of people, in all kinds of settings. And often in a foreign language. Whether your business operates in Niger, Nicaragua, or Niagara Falls, we quickly get the lay of the land and get things done.Save money on the staff retreat. No need to put us up in a fancy hotel on the Vegas strip. We’ll pass on the $16 muffins. Thanks to our modest Peace Corps living allowances, we’ve learned our way around a budget – and will respect yours.Our contributions to the office potluck. Peanut stew, pupusas, Pad Thai, vodka … Congratulations! Your office gathering just got more interesting.We know our way around flipcharts. In fact, “brainstorming” and “creativity” are our middle names. Returned Peace Corps Volunteers know how to think outside of the box.Overcoming uncertainty is second nature. If there’s one thing that unites Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, it’s this: We got on the plane. Despite the naysayers, we left all that was safe and familiar and departed for an unknown country for 27 months. That takes passion. That takes chutzpah. Teaching a class of unruly teens? Handling clients who keep changing their minds? Piece of cake.We’re goal-oriented. If we can’t figure out how to get it done or who can get it done, we’ll find the kid who will.Patience comes with the territory. After sitting through two years of day-long, under-the-tree meetings, drinking endless cups of tea to see our projects through, even the longest department meetings won’t faze us.We’re pretty healthy. Because we’ve toughed our way through malaria, giardia, boils, schistosomiasis, scary fevers, and weird rashes in places we can’t discuss, we won’t call in sick for a “cold.”We can take casual Friday to a whole new level. We have a certain … confidence

a view from the "Garganta del Diablo" hikeOff the beaten track. The road less taken. The photos on this blog will help explain why I love to go down the road less taken. After researching a bit about the Quebrada de Humahuaca area in Northern Argentina, I came across a place called Iruya online (a unique idigneous town of 4,000 people nestled in mountains.) This is a place you probably won't find in any travel guides, but I believe to be the hidden gem of the Quebrada de Humahuaca region.

driving into IruyaA very interesting thing about this town were the indigenous people. They wear beautiful clothing, but one thing that appeared a bit odd to me were their shoes. Most of them had brand new white converse shoes. Bright colored clothing, hand woven baskets, babies in a sling and brand new converse shoes.

My favorite part about the trip there was the ride in. After a 4 hour (90 mile) drive on a dirt road, patiently waiting for a place we know nothing about, we finally arrived at our destination. While, still an hour away from Iruya, the destination for me was the drive into this small town of Iruya. I have been on some beautiful drives throughout the beautiful mountain ranges in America, but nothing comes close to the road to Iruya. For an hour, I had my head out the bus window just admiring the deep valley below. I didn't care about the abundance of dust from the dirt road, or the weird looks I got from the others on the bus. I just couldn't believe my eyes, as we drove down this windy road through the mountains, valleys, and canyons, that surrounded it. Mountains of shapes and colors I have never seen before. On the road we passed donkeys, llamas, sheep, cows, and horses.

Pucara - the ruins & cactus fieldThe day before that we stayed in Tilcara. We stayed in a very "homely hostel", called La Albahaca. Despite the fact, that all the workers were chain smokers, we had a pleasant stay, and they made us feel at home. The one guy taught me a traditional Argentinian folk dance. There we met Santo Gonzalo, a nice, but a bit crazy guy from Buenos Aires. He took on the role as guide for us on various hikes. We walked to the "Garganta del diablo", which we apparently did wrong (according the guy at the hostel), but nonetheless it was still a beautiful hike to a waterfall and a canyon. After that we went to Pucara (the ruins) & the cactus field.

Today is our last day in Argentina. We are staying in Humahuaca, the most populated area of this region with about 60,000 people. Tomorrow - Bolivia!!

** NOTE: Please check out the rest of my photos on my facebook. Wi-fi is hard to come by in these parts, and when it is accessible, the connection is slow. It is much faster to upload pictures to Facebook.

From exploring the northern Patagonia region with snow-capped, jagged peaked mountains, to one of the most vibrant exciting cities, to the Northern desert, I've been pleased with what I've seen here in Argentina. However, there are some things I haven't quite gotten used to. To begin with (especially in Buenos Aires) their schedule for things are not too compatible with my body's schedule. The people in B.A. eat dinner at 10pm (this didn't work too well, the night we treated ourselves to the most delicious steak dinner, and the place didn't even open until 8pm). They stay up until 8 in the morning and eat lunch at 3 in the afternoon. It was impossible to get in this routine, and I hated being the girl making the noise in the hostel at 11am to get into my stuff. But really, I actually didn't care, THEY needed to get in a normal routine. Get up! haha/jajaja. I met my Peace Corps friend Lilah. We seem to be on the same level with certain things when it comes to traveling and what we want to get out of our traveling experience. I'm glad we had the same mind set for certain things like... We would rather not spend all our money on going out, and staying up until 8am. We'd rather get up at 8am so we have daylight to see all the great architecture and sights Buenos Aires has to offer. We saw the colorful buildings in La Boca, the beautiful green parks in Palermo, the famous cemetery in Recoleta (where Evita is buried), and artists' fairs. We really just enjoyed walking around the city admiring the architecture.

Another thing that we found a bit odd was that no one has change (not even for a $20... err, actually sometimes not even for a dollar) Lilah, instead of getting her dollar change, a sales-lady gave her 50 cents with 2 pieces of wrapped candy.

After B.A., we took a 22 hour bus ride to northern Argentina and stayed the night in San Salvador de Jujuy (a word I just couldn' t get in Spanish). Anyway, from the moment we got there we didn't really enjoy it. It appeared a little dangerous, and somewhat like a warzone. A guy at the terminal told us the robbers will cut our backpacks and steal them (not true). Another guy told us "Careful" (in English), after giving us directions for the grocery store. After finding the grocery store, we soon realized he wasn't speaking English, nor telling us to be careful... the grocery store is actually called Carre Four. We got a good laugh.

After roaming aroud this city searching for our hostel, Yok Wahi, looking ridiculous with our giant backpacks on the back and front of our bodies, we finally found it ... except we didn't. It was mismarked and our travel book had the wrong address. We back tracked about a block and finally arrived at Hostel and Bar Yok Wahi. However, after trying to find the hostel & wandering around looking for the grocery store, we weren't impressed with the town and were ready to move up into the mountains early the next day.

Today we visited the famous cemetery in the neighborhood of Recoleta. This cemetery holds the graves of famous Argentines, such as Eva Peron (Evita- former First Lady and political leader of Argentina). I was impressed by its Greek columns and elaborate marble. Not to mention, the sizes of the tombstones. Below are some pictures:

Buenos Aires

El Caminato en La Boca

Lilah (my El Salvador PC friend) & Anna (a girl I met on my travels in Chile!)

Diego Maradona, Evita, and some famous tango dancer

cool houses in La Boca

The soccer stadium in La Boca

more cool funky art

the beginning of El Caminito

10 lane highway... almost impossible to cross unless you run

uni-cyclist juggling swords

I spent the last week in Bariloche, Argentina, and the surrounding area. Bariloche is located in northern Patagonia so it is surrounded by beautiful jagged snow-capped mountains and turquoise colored lakes. It is fall here, so the colors are just so stunningly beautiful (shades of yellows, reds, and oranges). I stayed in Hostel 41 Below. As it did not beat Hostal El Refugio in Pucon, which is my favorite hostel thus far, it was still a great relaxing place with good vibes. They have a big common area which was easy for meeting people.

My week in Bariloche can be summed up by:

-eating some of the best chocolate I have ever tasted

- admiring the cute wooden buildings and houses

- bicycling around all the lakes

- hiking through meadows of beautiful fall colors

- climbing twice to the top of a steep hill with a 360 degree view of all the lakes to watch the sunset

- visiting a nearby hippie town (El Bolson) and walking through the feria artesianal

If you ask any European they will tell you it is very similar to Switzerland. It's surprising how different Argentina is to Chile. To begin with, their accent. They pronounce the double ll, as "cha". So imagine asking for directions.. (La calle por alla... But in argentian, La cache por acha). I feel Argentina has more of a European influence as well.

As I begin week 3, I'm beginning to feel less stressed. At the beginning of my travels, I felt completely overwhelmed with the options of what to do and see. I would talk to other travelers about their experiences in South America, and I would keep adding to my list. I'm finding myself feeling less overwhelmed, and more appreciate of everything I am able to do. I'm doing alot more then most people may ever do in their lives. I'm realizing that I just need to sit back, relax, and enjoy my ride.

Sitting back and enjoying the ride.

On the road to El Bolson Take it all in & appreciate the experiences I am having. Even if it is something as simple as writing this blog on a 22 hour bus ride across Argentina with a bus load of Argentinians. I haven't seen civilization in hours, but I'm perfectly content watching the Whitney Houston tribute on the overhead tvs.

In a few days, I am meeting my Peace Corps friend Lilah. In 2 weeks, my sister-in-law, Greta will be joinining me on my travels. I had a really nice time traveling alone, but I'm excited to meet up with some familiar faces.

Traveling alone has its ups and downs. First, the good parts: I like the rushes one gets from traveling alone (like finding a hostel, catching a bus on time, successful conversations in Spanish with locals, finding the best areas to a certain place, or coming out of a really long hike alone). It's many senses of accomplishments over and over again. (Yay, I did it! and I did it alone.) Also, during the past 3 weeks, I've had many moments that are "mine". I am the only one looking at this, at this time, and at this moment. These are my moments and noone can take them away from me.

However, sometimes I miss the feeling of shared happiness. Standing on top of the Andes Mountains, or seeing something interesting while on a bus or walking through town. I want to turn to someone to say together, "Wow isn't this incredible", or "Do you see this?" Instead I think "Jamie, Wow! Do you believe your eyes?" I have noone to share that peace and happiness. Instead I take pictures , but since photos really don't do justice, I will be the only one to really understand it's true beauty.

I am excited to have Greta & Lilah along with me on this journey. I will have thosed shared moments of peace & happiness. I will have someone to say to, "remember 5 years ago when....!??"

Right now I'm on a bus to a place I know nothing about. I'm going to a place that will stimulate me once again, but in different ways, with new sights and sounds. A place where I will meet new travelers and locals. A place where new adventures await me.

When the sun comes up, I will be in one of the most vibrant, exciting, and electrifying places in South America.

Good bye nature and hello city.

Buenos Aires - See you in the morning

I lost my friend Vincent to the world of hitchhiking.

Good luck Vincent, See you in Buenos Aires.

Mom & Dad, you will be happy to know I didn't join him on this adventure.

The Argentinian workers at the hostel made us empanadas!!

Leave your shoes at the door.

Heading 2 hours south to El Bolson

A local admiring the beauty of the mountains and colorful valleys

stunning

A warm greeting in Hostel Peheunia by Augustina, the owners daughter

Saturday is market day in El Bolson

The biggest garlic I have ever seen!!

Buttons

A local Argentinian woman making puppets out of spongesthe creepy looking puppets

lunch

waiting in line for lunch

A German guy that has settled in Argentina selling Chai Tea

Celebrating "Marcha Mundial de la Marihuana 2012"

Of course, that goes along with drum circles

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE MAN IN MY LIFE.I LOVE YOU DAD.

It just keeps getting better & better....(Bariloche, Argentina)

Cerro Campanario

Click here to see a Panoramic View of the top (NOTE: This photo was not taken by me, but this is what I admired for 3 hours today)

After a quick 30 minute hike to the top, I was swept away once again by this beautiful country

Even a black cat wanted to be swept away by the beauty

I don't know why, but in Chile & Argentina the animals LOVE foreigners

At the top of this hill, there is a 360 degree view of all the lakes and mountains...

I now understand why this area is called, "Lake District"

Yoga!!!

Yoga from a different angle

Pesos Pesos Pesos! Notice the ugly dollar that made the way...American money is so dull!

What could get better?

Bariloche, Argentina

Hike; El Refugio Frey

Hike; El Refugio Frey. It was a 6 hour hike full of beauty ( fall colors of oranges, yellows, and reds, snow capped mountains, beautiful lakes, etc.)

And just as I was thinking that things could not possible get more beautiful than this, I see a rainbow....It was as if someone wanted to put me at peace, and I most certainly was. For the first time in a long time I felt no stress, no worries. I just felt, at peace.

A refugee at midway

It got to be a bit cold at the top, but the views just kept getting better and better.

I was just surrounded by mountains and beauty

almost to the top

El Refugio Frey... After a 3 hour hike to the top, I made it!

Yet, more stunning beauty

The people in the refugee even treated me to some Yerba Matte

They even had a cat and a fireplace. It was nice getting warm after a frigid hike to the top. I spent an hour at the top having good conversation with a lovely couple from New Zealand, before heading back down the mountain.

I just couldn't believe my eyes. So much color!

beauty, beauty everywhere

Times like these I wish I had a better camera. Unfortunately these pictures just don't do justice. Those mountains you see are just covered with color. It is the beginning of fall here, so all the leaves are full of bright oranges, reds, and yellows.

The color of this lake is a beautiful turquoise color. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that way in photos.

Bienvenidos a Argentina

From the bus into Argentina.

We moved about a centimeter on the map but it took us 12 hours to get from

Pucon to Bariloche. Dirt roads and traffic jams (cows and horses caused the delays)

The volcano at the border crossing into Argentina

Vicent working on his rubic cube (after our picnic lunch at the lake)

Break between buses en San Martin de los Andes (beginning of the Lakes District in Argentina)

Drum circle

An example of a house in San Martin de los Andes, Argentina

The backpackers on their way up to the hostel on the 10th view

Hostel Penthouse 1004 - a hostel with such amazing views.

This is in Bariloche, Argentina.

Many people compare this place to Switzerland

because of the snow-capped mountains and wooden agricultureanother view from the outside of our hostel

on a clear day you can see the beautiful jagged snow capped mountains

A delicious trout lunch

funky mural

Pucon, Chile

Hiking through the "Dr. Suess" forest.

Reserva Cani

I've never seen such funky looking trees

Vincent showing off his juggling skills at the top

Abby and I at the top

Pucon, Chilehorseback riding through the Mapuche Village (Their name means people of the land).

They even cooked us a yummy dinner at the end!

I even got to dress like them too!

drinking from a coconut on the islandhiking the jungle Our tour guide cutting open a coconut

Our local guide feeding his pet PacaMy parents looking at jewelry from a local vendor.

They are on the "worlds most narrowest street"

Yes, it is in the Guinness Book of World Records

snorkeling

boat ride on monkey river

hiking to the river during the Semana Santa

The entrance to the school. World map and map of El Salvador completeMy best friend Lorena at the lake in my community

My despedida at the school

Receiving my plaque

Traffic jamAt the waterfall

As my journey is coming to an end, I'm finding myself completing a circle. I'm sitting at the houses of those people who once seemed so strange, so unfamiliar. Those people who I couldn't understand a word of what they said. Now I understand them, now I am comfortable with them, now I am their friend. It took me awhile to get to this point, breaking out of my comfort zone to get to know the people. Overcoming the difficulties of learning a new language. Once going to bed every night with a headache, because I just couldn't understand anyone. There were many times where I just couldn't stand to be around anyone. Not even my self. Having to overcome some of the lowest feelings I've ever had in my life. Having to do it alone, because noone here possible could understand how I was feeling. Sometimes my low moments would last weeks. I've been to places with myself, I hope to never visit again. Many times I just felt like giving up. I'm glad I didn't. I grew into such a stronger person. These moments helped me grow into a better person. The low moments made my high moments feel that much higher. That is how I kept with it. Since I had more high moments then low moments, and thanks to the wonderful people for just being there, I did it.

Throughout my 2 years here, I have met so many great people, who have taught me so much. Things about a different culture. About caring. About myself. About hope. About pain. About life. About living poorly. About the joys of living the simple life.

These people have found a special spot my heart.

It just tares me apart thinking about leaving here. I have had, hands down, the most life-changing and humbling experience of my whole entire life. Possibly the only experience I will have like this. Is it really coming to an end? Looking through my hard times, I really had it made here. There were many times I would say with my best friend Amy, "we're living the dream!". Many years from now this place, this experience will have certainly felt like a dream.

It's possible that never again I will have this. Feeling like a rockstar. Having everyone in your community call you by your name. People just so excited to see you. People who just love you to pieces and bend over backwards to make you comfortable. People who just give so much, even though they have so little to give.

In the United States, I will be just another American walking on by. Walking by people unfamiliar people on the street and not receiving any attention.

Things I am looking forward to most about returning to the States:

~ seeing all my friends & family

~ yummy food

~ sitting on a toilet and not worrying about what is below

~ not having to flick cockroaches off the toilet seat

~ concerts

~ XM radio to be introduced to new music

~ sleeping in past 6 (not waking up with the roosters)

~ having options of things to do for fun

~ not drinking out of a plastic bag

~ driving a car

~privacy

~seeing snow/4 seasons

~sleeping without a mosquito net

~a house without mice, bats, tarantulas, cockroaches, scorpions, etc. ~couches (I will miss my hammock though!)

~watching movies on something bigger then 9 inches

~having the freedom to leave when I want to leave

~having options of stuff to do "for fun"

~not feeling alone at night

~speaking in english

~having conversations outside the weather & corn

Things I'm worried about:

~staring at people; gringos and/or Latinos (wishing they were my Salvadorean friends, and/or wanting to speak Spanish with them)

~being socially awkward (talks about Ipod apps, politics, talks about recent movies and TV shows will be way over my head)

~forgetting how to speak Spanish

~not feeling famous when I walk around somewhere. I'm just another American walking the streets

~annoying people with how much I will talk about El Salvador, and being limited with what I will say because I don't want to be too anoying or lose anyones attention

~being frustrated when I see someone waste food

~anxiety attacks in the super market (the produce section of a super market in the states is pretty comparable to the size of a super market here)

~ feeling frustrated when someone complains~ not having appropriate table manners (using itensils incorrectly, throwing food on the floor [some animal will eat it], setting my plate on my lap instead of the table, etc.)

~gaining 50 pounds

~not finding a job

~not knowing how to operate recent technology

~and missing the hell out my community, and having desires to be back there again :(

Next week I'm heading to Belize to see my family. From there I am flying to Chile, and will spend the summer traveling throughout South and Central America.

By the end of it all, I will have seen some of most beautiful things this world has to offer (ice capped mountains in Chile, the beautiful beaches of Colombia, the enormous waterfalls in Argentina, the Amazon forest and the Incan ruins in Peru, etc. I will have many stories to share about my travels, about my journey. However, there is one journey, I will not be able to explain in a story. A journey that can't be put into words. A journey that no one will never be able to understand. This is the journey that I had with myself during my 2 years in a developing country. What I found on this journey... I will take with me for the rest of my life. Thank you to everyone in the small village of Calderitas for being there with me on this journey. A tiny community filled with people with enormous hearts.

Peace Corps El Salvador. July 19th, 2010 - April 10th, 2012

The road less taken (but more people should...)

Check back to read my traveling blogs!

I killed my first animal this week. This is something that I didn't really want to do (once being a vegetarian and all, I feel great lastima at the thought of killing these animals), but I feel it was something I had to do to complete my experience as a Peace Corps Volunteer living in the campo of El Salvador.

It started with the killing of a chicken (or just plain torturing the pobrecito). The knife was dull so it took a couple minutes of cutting back and forth before I finally cut it's throat open. I didn't have my camera, so I returned back the next day to kill a hen (in which I had my camera for). I killed the hen, plucked out its feathers, cut off its legs, but I didn't have it in me to actually pull out its insides. That is that, without much more to say other then, what have I done!!?! haha.

My last PC Blog EVER to follow soon. Look for it in the next few weeks. My last day in my community is April 9th.

1. We can woo you in multiple languages. Who else is going to whisper sweet nothings to you in everything from Albanian to Hausa to Quechua to Xhosa? That’s right. Only a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.

2. We’re pretty good dancers. Yeah, we don’t like to brag, but after 27 months in Latin America or Africa we know how to move it.

3. We’ll eat anything. Seriously. No matter how bad your cooking, Returned Peace Corps Volunteers have had worse and will eat it with nary a blink. Sheep’s eyeball? Water buffalo gall bladder? Grasshoppers? Bush rat? Bring it.

4. We know all about safe sex, thanks to our very thorough Peace Corps health training. In fact, there’s a chance that we’ve stood unblushingly in front of hundreds of villagers and demonstrated good condom technique with a large wooden phallus.

5. We’ll kill spiders for you. Well, actually, we’ll nonchalantly scoop them up and put them out of sight. Same goes for mice, geckos, frogs, snakes. Critters don’t faze Returned Volunteers.

6. We have great date ideas: wandering a street market, checking out a foreign film, taking in a world music concert, volunteering…. Romantic getaway? Our passport is updated and our suitcase is packed. With us, life is always an adventure.

7. We like you for “you”… not your paycheck. Especially if we are freshly back from service, a local joint with “character” will win out over a pretentious eatery. Living in a group house? No problem. Does it have running hot water? What luxury!

8. You won’t get lost when you’re with a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. Navigating local markets on four continents, we’ve honed an uncanny sense of direction. Or else we’ll ask for directions. We’re not afraid to talk to “strangers.”

9. Waiting for a late train or bus? Don’t worry, we’ve been there, done that. We can share lots of funny stories about “the bus ride from hell” that will make the time go quickly and put it all into perspective.

10. Our low-maintenance fashion style. Returned Peace Corps Volunteer guys are secure in their manhood and don’t mind rocking a sarong. Women often prefer flip flops to high heels. We don’t spend hours in front of a mirror getting ready to go out.

11. Marry us, and you won’t just get one family — you’ll get two! When we refer to our “brother” or “mom,” you’ll want to be certain we’re talking about our American one or our Peace Corps one. You might even get two wedding ceremonies, one in the U.S. and one back in our Peace Corps country.

12. And last but not least, we aren’t afraid to get dirty.

Sorry for a delayed blog, but as most of you know, I had a lot going on this past month. About 2 months ago, we received news that Peace Corps Washington is making major changes within their program here, to better protect the safety of the volunteers here. There is a huge problem with gangs, and drug trafficking. I’ve been coming across a lot of these problems recently here in my department of San Vicente. The pick up/bus drivers have to pay a renta to the gangs here, and when they don’t, the gangs don’t mess around, they just kill the driver. Just the other day a pick up driver (a pick up I sometimes take) was shot and killed. A few days after this, the pick up drivers to my community were asked to pay $2,000. Instead of paying it, they are just going to stop driving. My community does not know when we will have transportation again. The people in my community have to hike an hour and a half out to the nearest road where pick ups will take them into the nearest pueblo. Lucky for me, and ironically enough, a recent change that was made for those in my department of San Vicente, is that we will have private Peace Corps transportation. I was against this idea, because it takes me away from the integration into my community. Rolling up in a fancy vehicle, and not spending time on the pick up talking to people in my community, sets me apart from them. Not to mention, I LOVE riding the country side standing on the back of a pick up. However, with these recent incidents, I have come to respect the decision Peace Corps has made on protecting my safety.

Come March, I will be the only volunteer left in this department, with the nearest volunteer being over 2 hours away. My best Peace Corps friend, Amy has left a month ago, which was extremely hard for me. We lived within an hour of each other, and met up weekly in San Vicente. I’m realizing more then ever just how important it is to have that gringa friend that is going through the same stuff, and understands you much more then Salvadorians ever will. Peace Corps has given us all the option of closing our service early, while still receiving full benefits. Amy made the decision to leave early, along with a few other volunteers here. If I didn’t have to leave in April, Peace Corps would change my community as well, because this department is becoming more and more dangerous. So that leads me into another change Peace Corps Washington has made here; my group (that came together last July) is being forced to COS (Close of Service) 5 months early (from September to April). They are trying to get the number of PC Volunteers down to 50, to focus on the safety of fewer people. They are changing the communities of many volunteers to put them in “clusters” to help better their safety and security.

Just like that… The news comes telling you that you have to leave 5 months early. I had a really hard time accepting this. All this time and effort that I put into this strange place with these different people. It has taken me so much time and effort, and moments of breaking out of my comfort zone to get the trust within my community. To have them accept me and feel comfortable with me. To have them stop looking at me like a zoo exhibit. Despite my gringa accent and my white skin, I think I did an alright job immersing myself, and being like them. I think we all found we are more similar then we thought. Now that I got their confianza, (gained their trust and formed relationships), and learned their language, I feel I could be really productive this year. It's hard leaving knowing I could have done a lot more. The thought of leaving behind all the friendships I made just tares me apart too. Leaving here will be 100 times harder then coming here.

After going through probably THE roughest month I had in my entire life, emotionally,I feel like I've come to the “acceptance” stage of all of this. I’m not sure if I am completely at this stage, nor am I ready to leave in April, but I’m handling things much better. Instead of moping on “I haven’t done enough for my community. There is still so much to do!” I’ve begun to look at all the things that I have done for my community, and that I should be able to accomplish in the next 2 months. I’m not sure if one could ever leave a third-world country feeling completely satisfied, like they have done enough. There is just always something to be done. The decision of us to leave early is something that is out of my control. It is a dangerous country, and I can’t blame them for wanting to make huge changes to the better protect their volunteers. Instead of feeling bad that I have to leave 5 months early, I feel completely blessed to have gotten to spend a year and a half of my life in such a beautiful place as El Salvador, and to meet some of the nicest, most genuine people I have ever met in my life (and to live the simply life with them). People who have taken me in as a complete stranger and treated me like their own family. This experience I will never ever forget.

So when I leave here in April, I plan on traveling Central/South America for a few months. I think this will help with the nervousness/anxiety I have about going back to the United States. I’m not actually sure when I’ll be home , but on April 12th, 2012 my service as a Peace Corps Volunteer in El Salvador will come to an end.

Christmas is a really strange time here. Mainly, because it doesn't by any means, feel like Christmas. There is no snow, christmas trees, christmas cookies, presents, nor christmas lights. Noone even says Feliz Navidad. Although the holidays are often hard time for me, especially because I'm not near my loved ones, I've managed to have a great time here in the campo. Christmas is a time of many fireworks. All day, and all night. Mainly the ones that just blow up and sound like gun shots. There are fireworks in the hands of about every child here beginning at the age of 2. Many of them throwing them at each other, as the fireworks blow up just feet from their faces.

(World Map project)

Christmas is also a time of lots of drinking, which is done so in private. My friend had a dance at her house. Noone actually had a drink in their hand , but many of them were drinking. It is a very secretive thing here, especially for the women. They will drink in private, then come back outside with the rest of the party.

Some guys here just drink and drink and drink, until they are passed out on the street. These guys give drinking such a negative label. Some people just don't understand that you can "socially drink" . There was a guy passed out outside my house the next morning, that I had to walk over to get to the bathroom. He was there until 5 that afternoon. At one point we had to move his unconscious body to a shady area.

Despite the drunk guys passed out in the streets, and the concern I have for the many little kids with dangerous fireworks, Christmas is a time of the year that is muy alegre. Everyone is so happy that it is Christmas, especially the children. Perhaps even happier then some American children, who are upset they didn't get that certain toy they wanted. It certainly is a humbling experience for me. Next year, I will eat my fair share of Christmas cookies.

Anyway, I had a very nice visit with my sister-in-law Greta. We went to Antigua, Guatemala for a few days. I hiked my first active volcano, and even got to roast a marshmellow on top! We went to Semuc Champey, which consists of many natural pools, and waterfalls. It is said to be the most beautiful place in the country. I don't really know much of Guatemala, but because of the neat, rare blueish-greenish color of the water and towering jungle walls all around, I find that statement very easy to be true. It was fun hiking there, and entering all the caves. Swimming through a cave with a candle in one hand was a pretty neat experience. Cliff jumping inside was super fun too! The only downfall to our trip would be when our "7 hour" ride from Semuc Champey to Antigua, turned out to be 17 hours. The shuttle had an issue with the tire and the driver insisted on driving even though our tire was basically falling off. He wouldn't pull over, until we basically yelled at him to do so. We waited at a gas station for about 5 hours before another shuttle came for us. It didn't turn out to be such a bad experience, because we really got to know some great people from all over the world, one being a former PCV who was from the first group of volunteers in Guatemela from the sixties.

So all the volunteers here are in this waiting game. All the volunteers in Honduras are being removed from the country due to safety and security concerns. They are interviewing all of us as well regarding how safe we feel here. To my understanding, If enough people say they feel unsafe there is a possibility that DC will close the program here too, which I hope that isn't the case. As there are some days, I yearn for the comfortable life; something other then cornflakes for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Watching a movie on a screen bigger then 7 inches sounds great. A house free of rats, cockroaches, spiders and scorpions... now we are talking. Speaking in english every day. Having conversations that go beyond the weather, and what is happening in the community. Washing machines! It all sounds great, really. However, I am not ready to leave here yet. I feel like there is so much I can do still, and that I want to do. I don't want to cheat my community, and these wonderful people. Who knows when they will get another Peace Corps volunteer?! I've come to do 2 years, and I planned on being here until September. I would be deeply saddened to leave here so abrubtly. I guess we will just wait and see.

If you are planning on visiting me, please do not read on.

So after 16 months into my service, I had my first encounter with the gang here (outside of a seeing a shot gang member on the road). Last weekend a group of volunteers here left from San Salvador to head to Carnaval (a huge party here every year that brings a ton of different music groups and people, as well as the gangs.). We were on a bus heading here, when the bus driver decided to pull over and pick up 2 guys with bandanas around their neck. These guys came on with guns and knives. (Mind you: I did not want to see what was going on, nor did I want them to know I was a gringa, So I turned to look out the window so I didn't have to look at them with a hand to my face, and stuck my hand out with money to give them. ) My friends later told me exactly what happened. It was relatively quick and painless. The whole thing took about 5 minutes, even though it felt like a half an hour.

So I started the world map project in the school with a group of kids. As much as I'm alittle nervous they might mess it up, I think it's better to do it as a group. The kids will always remember what countries they painted, and it gives them something fun to do. The map is near the entrance to the school and will be 5x10 feet. I'll be sure to send some pictures. We are using the grid method, where every block is something different. We just finished drawing it, in which I'm quite impressed and we hope to get started on the painting within the next few days. Next week I'm doing a week long computer class for the 9th graders who are going on to High School. The rest of the school is on vacation until the end of January. Busy busy busy. I'm excited to have Greta, my sister-in-law come in a few weeks. It will be a much deserved vacation to Antigua, Guatemala. Woohoo!

Celebrating Dia de BICENTENARIO

Making tortillas with the nina Juana (aunque no puedo!)

2nd place - torneo de San Esteban (missing the other 7 players)

Dia de muerto

Baseball!

Sugar cane..

my host family. One hug from them and I forget why I'm in a bad mood.

Suchitoto

Dental Charla with Kindergarten

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain.

It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." - Muhammad Ali.

It's funny how some things in your life you can remember so clearly. And other things, like what I did yesterday, just seem to slip away from you. One of those memories is receiving a quote book from my 4th grade boyfriend, at the rollerskating rink at my 10th birthday party. That Muhammad Ali quote still remains with me to this day.

15 months... I'm saying wow "Que rapido! This time is sure flying!" , but instead I'm really thinking... "Wow, is that it? 15 months?! Really?" All of those emotions, those moments, those thoughts, this incredible journey I am having with myself just couldn't possibly add up to 15 months.

So to some of you , this blog may come off alittle strange. For those of you PCVs who have experienced at least 15 months in a devloping country.... You may relate. I'm slowly getting back in touch with myself and appearing "normal" again. I felt for awhile there i was spending so much energy trying to fit in, impress the people and force relationships upon them. I've been trying to be someone other then myself. I've even picked up some of their habits that once drove me nuts; such as pointing with my lips, asking how much EVERYTHING costs, that "chchch" noise, not being specific at all, eating pan dulce before and after dinner, and yelling at dogs, "chucho afuela, ahhh!" How can I put this, other then, I've got back in touch with myself. I am myself. I do what I enjoy. I don't care what other people think. I'm strange. I'm different. And I love that. I love being the different guy on the street. Everyone knows me, and a good chunk about me (due to how fast gossip spreads when it is something regarding the gringa- Everyone knew I was sick with amoebas within 1 day, or when I got stitches, getting back from the hospital that night with many "Oh, we've heard") I've gotten past the annoyances of being the only gringa, and have grown to absolute love it. I'm a rockstar.

I'm really begin to open myself up to the people and let them in to my life. There are still some things that are better left unsaid; like how much money I have saved up in the States, or how much I love laying on the couch and being big spoon with my parent's dog. Living here is just a game of figuring things out. I'm still trying to figure things out here, but I do know one thing for sure is that the people adore me for just being myself. So that is who I will give them. "Yeimy LinBacher" They comment on how happy and content I am. I may tell them the occasional lie about how much something costs, or of a headache I have, just because I want some time alone, However when I tell them how much I love it here, it is the truth. (even with those "oh my gosh, this is quite possible the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life" moments).

As I spend every single night with a group of my Salvadorean friends, I think, "these people hardly have anything, but yet they don't really complain." Their education may not go beyond 4th grade, but they have been some of the best teachers I have ever had.

Out of all the reasons I joined Peace Corps, "to make friends" was not on that list, I'm not even sure if it was a thought at all. I wanted to do development work in a country with people who are less off. I wanted to better myself. I wanted to live like the people in a developing country. Making friends is an added Peace Corps bonus, and now that it happened, I feel like the friends and the great relationships I have with the people are the best part of my peace corps experience.

I still have almost a year to go, but the thought about leaving here pops into my head at least one time a day, sometimes 5. I know when the day comes it will be bittersweet, but just thinking of that day, kind of tares me apart inside.

Read another blog below if you haven't already! (Yes I know, 2 blogs in a week! A new record.)

I would like to dedicate this blog to my zoo exhibit that I had in my house last week. Let's begin with Mr. Chinche.

Frogs (this picture stolen from the internet ... I did not take a picture of the frogs crawling up my wall... Some things are just appearing to normal for me here, to think to take pictures of)

The mothman

Tarantulas

Scorpions

and not to mention the million mosquitoes.

And of course the "what the hell are you" insect that I have falsely mistaken for a small hummingbird.

Come visit my zoo. Free admission...

All visitor who enter must be wearing 100% Deet bugspray.

Note: Due to health precautions or just because having these creatures in my house appear absolute normal to me (yes, like frogs crawling up my wall), some of these pictures I stole from the internet (but I took the one that is most comparable)

Just a few more months left of rainy season :) I will certainly not miss my pets.

So other then my zoo, and a series of hospital visits in this past month; [getting stitches in my knee, and getting sick with amoebas and stomach infections] I feel like I've had a pretty great month.

The computers finally arrived! (without all the important programs - ie; word, powerpoint... but pocito a pocito is how we work around here) The school is working on getting those programs put on the computers, so I can begin teaching computer class.

My softball team won 2 games in a row! Our first few games we lost 90-15... Now we are just awesome!

I will be getting some gloves donated from the states, so I imagine we will become alot better once my team learns how to use gloves.

This week I will be doing my first charla (educational talk). The topic is "stress-management", where I will be more or less teaching yoga and meditation to a group of youth.

Next Thursday, I will be in the United States of America!!

So yes, I am aware I haven't written in my blog in awhile. Well, for a few reasons: Some punk stole my internet stick, so my internet access is limited. For two, everything is normal for me. I've been here over a year; this is my life. Spanish is my language. These are my people (even though I don't look, think, or eat the same as them). El Salvador is my home, & everything is normal. The roosters waking me up at 5:00 a.m. Electricity going out for days at a time. The rain coming down so hard that I get wet in my house. Spanish, spanish, spanish (is it possible that I'm losing my English?). The constant killing of cockroaches, scorpions, and spiders in my house. The mosquito bites all day long. The continued failed attempts to kill the rats in my house. The heat. The constant sweating. Introducing them to the food I make here and seeing the confused look on their faces. Washing my clothes by hand. Walking 2 hours to go somewhere, when there is no transportation.. Riding in the back of a pick up with 40 other people, when we do have transportation. Dirty feet. Going to the bathroom in a outhouse full of flies, cockroaches, spiders, and alot of "what the hell is that thing" insects. Freezing cold bucket baths that just take the breath out of me. Having the same conversations over and over. (Are you washing your clothes? Yes, I am washing my clothes. It looks like it's going to rain today. I hope it rains, its so hot. Your family? They went back to the states. Aw, when did your family leave? 6 months ago. When are they going to visit again? Next year sometime. Your mom is so young. Yeah. (Thinking, she is actually the same age, it just looks like a 15 year age difference.) WHAT! you DON'T eat tortilla? (With the thought of she's going to die... and before I know it they are back at my house giving tortillas.) Clearing up their perceptions about the United States & answering their bizarre questions; Yes, there are flies in the U.S., Yup, thunder and lightning too. Yes, husbands cheat on their wives up there as well. No, I don't know your cousin Carlos who lives in Los Angeles. STILL clearing up their understanding as to why I am here. (No matter how many assembleas I talk in to the whole community, no matter how many conversations I have with them, they still don't understand why I would want to be here, let only voluntarily.) So you are here doing credit for your University? You must be getting paid a lot of money to live here? Your family lives in San Salvador? Explaining to them, how I want to be here. I want to help them. I want to live like them. In one month I live off enough money that is equivalent to what an average person makes in 3 days of work in the U.S. I refuse to dip into my American savings. I want to live poorly like them; it's part of the experience. In my best attempt to explain all that, they still don't possibly "get it". Why would she want to be here? When all of my family left me and risked there life to go up there.

So yes, if you haven't figured this out already, things slowly get down around here. Slowly but surely. The computer company told us "this week" about 4 weeks ago, so yup still waiting on them. I'll keep everyone posted once we receive them. I recently won a grant to get sports equipment for the school & community. I'm going to my buy baseball gloves for my softball team. (So maybe we won't lose 80-15 anymore. They are starting to practice with the 2 gloves that we do have. They put the left handed glove on their right hand and look at me with the confused look of, "Ok Jamie, now what?".) I also plan to get basketball hoops for the school, and more jump ropes. Once we get the equipment, I hope to help with gym class, and introduce new sports to them.

So I'm heading back to that magical, mysterious place up north, called the United States of America next month (September 22-October 10th!). I'm super excited. It's a weird feeling telling my neighbors here that I will be visiting friends that live 15 minutes away from their family in the states that they haven't seen in over 15 years.

I'm super excited just thinking about all the yummy foods I'm going to eat and the kind of things I plan to do. For example; Back massage, Drive a car if i still remember how to, spend possibly a full day in Target, fish sandwiches and chocolate milkshakes at the Fence, eat Thai food at least once a week, Smores, Blue Moon & Magic Hat, hike to the top of a mountain, ride both my road and mountain bike, put all my hand washed stretched out clothes in the dryer, PIZZA, Waffles, lie on carpet with my dog Maggie, Sushi, take a hot shower at least 2 times a day - Just to mention a few things I will be enjoying ;)

Things I imagine that are going to happen: having a panic attack when I enter a giant grocery store, having everyone telling me how fat I am, getting frustrated when people complain and waste food, not feeling famous (walking around a town and having no one acknowledge me or know my name), feeling overwhelmed how fast moving people are, sleeping 13 hours a night, forgetting that it actually is enforced to obey road signs while driving, gaining another 15 pounds, not having people talking to me ALL the time & potentially having a great amount of alone time, talking about El Salvador every moment of the day, people being completely annoyed that I talk about it so much, and missing the heck out El Salvador and the people here, but absolutely loving spending time with all my family and friends from the USA!!

38 days!

(Photo #1: Bringing water from miles away from our lake. (No, actually not! But this is what I would be like if I was a PC volunteer in my site 8 years ago) Photo #2 The Park in La Palma, Chaletenango -so beautiful there, Picture # 3 A group of girls during gym class, playing make believe stuff with their trash, Picture #4 - A group of Kindergartners playing in the jungle gym. The last photo is of my softball team!)

To all those generous and incredible people that helped donate to my project, thank you. No matter how small of a donation you gave, your hearts are huge. Because of your help, I will be able to buy 15 computers for the school in my community. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted and send individual thank you's with photos.

So rainy season has arrived, and how I've long awaited this! However, there are some downsides, like all the creepy crawlers that invade my house. Let me name a few by beginning with...

Scorpions! They like to hide in mysterious places, like my clothing and soccer cleats.

Beetles - They fly around inside my house and I always confuse their loud, obnoxious sound for bumblebees. Anyway, they fly around my house, hit the wall, fall, and shortly thereafter die. Then swarms of ants later invade my house to take care of the dead beetle.

Cockroaches - Pues, at least now I don't have to worry about them biting me while I'm going to the bathroom. Oh the joys of having an indoor bathroom! And a bathtub too! I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve such luxuries.

Tarantulas - Fortunately, I haven't encountered any in my house. But yes, they are around town too.

Rats, frogs, flies, more frogs, and how could I forget, mosquitoes. I'm not leaving this country without getting Dengue at least twice. The mosquitoes here actually seem to prefer the taste of deet.

That's just some of my housemates... The rest just look strange and weird, and I don't know the names of them.

Rainy season is also the time where electricity comes and goes as it pleases. Sometimes for days a time.

The perk of rainy season = reading and taking siestas in my hammock without feeling guilty about it. It also means more alone time! It's funny just how little alone time I have, but yet I feel so alone. The only gringa. Just imagine. Dear community, I don't look like you. I don't talk like you. I don't think like you. You don't understand me. I don't understand you. (I'm not saying this because of the language barrier, either.) Some days I feel like I just don't have anyone. Noone understands what I'm going through on my bad days. I have no one to talk to that could somewhat understand me. But every time I'm falling in a slump, I leave my house before it gets too bad. I travel around the village; go to the school, visit my awesome host family, watch novellas with friends, drink coffee with the elders, play soccer with the little kids, climb mango trees with the third cycle students, etc. I return back to my house with the feeling from having no one to the feeling of having 780 people. We come from 2 completely different worlds & we will never understand each other... But Dear Community, I love you. Thanks for accepting me.

So according to the "emotional path of a Peace Corps volunteer", one begins feeling "normal" again by month 12 (next month)... Everything around me is normal. This is my life. This is my campo. And these are my people; even though they don't look, sound, or think like me. Everything is normal to me. Except myself. It sounds ridicolous, but it's true... when I'm having a "normal day" I feel extremely high. Due partly to all those really low moments we all come across. Those low moments make the high feel that much higher.

So what else is going on?

I spent a few days in Roatan, Honduras.... SCUBA DIVING! Awesome!

Lately, I've been teaching a TON of English to kids. Since EVERY single child from 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade wants to learn English, the school fit clase de ingles into their daily agenda. We'll see how long the excitement of English class lasts. The kids are actually telling me I need to give more exams! What 4th grader actually wants to take a test? These kids rock!

I'm also teaching exercise class to a few ladies. If only the ladies in my community were as motivated to exercise as the kids in my community are to learn English, they will be a little less gorda. The motivation is lacking, but the excuses certainly are not.

We had our first softball game, in which we lost (90 to 30... mas o menos) ... but I think we have some great potential. I'm hoping to win this grant that I applied for, so I can provide my team with baseball mits. Dropping the ball seems to be the main problem here.

That's it for now. I promise not to wait 2 months before writing another blog.

I booked my flight! September 22nd until October 10th. I'm going to the United States of America! Hip hip hooray!

Month 9 ...

The month they warned us about. The month where "the plague of the campo" begins. Frustrations, loneliness, struggles. The feelings of having no one, the frustrations of how slowwwwwwwwwwly things get done , the feeling of not being productive, and helplessness. How can I possibly convince my community to change their views on things, and to try new things, when they have been doing the same thing their whole lives.

It's hard having low moments in the campo - because you really have to get through it by yourself (being miles away from the closest gringo, lack of internet, and living with 700 other people who just don't understand me.)

Changing my mind, and changing the way I look at things and people, usually help me get out of my slumps. It is so easy to stay in my hammock. But I refused to do that, I needed to get out. Exercise. Talk. Learn new things. Getting out helps every time.

I also decided to take the happiest moment from each day and write it in my journal: These were my moments from last week:

The 3 years old, smarty-pants, kid here finally said, "Salud Jamie!!" He's been saying "Salud Gringa!" for the past 7 months. A month ago a 5th grader here fell out of a tree climbing for mangoes. She is in a cast up to her stomach, and is basically stuck in a bed for the next month. I made a card for everyone in her class to sign, and also gave her beads and thread for her to make bracelets. She was extremely happy. Yo tambien!Seeing Julietta Vonega in concert! If anyone has this, can they burn me a copy?!, successfully taking a 2 hour nap in my hammock without distractions!

Receiving the best hugs I ever had in my life from my 2 year old host sister ever time I see her.

So during some of the lowest moments I had in my entire life this past month, the thought of leaving this place, never once popped in my mind. Okay, well maybe once, but only with the thought of "no way, that's just crazy" that followed close behind. Those moments of isolation and frustration are normal for every volunteer. It's frustrating, because I don't know if the people in my campo will truly understand me or know who I am. I'm not even sure a lot of them understand why I am here. Nonetheless, they are some of the most genuine and caring people I have ever met.

No matter how poor these people are; they will always lavish me with food during each visit. They will send their 5 year old daughter up the tree to bring me down a bag full of mangoes. They will send their 9 year old son to the tienda to bring me back a coffee.. They will ask me if I know their cousin Josue that lives in Michigan. They want to get to the bottom of it; 27 year old girl without a boyfriend or children? How?!! They really don't ask, "So how are you going to help my community?", It's usually "How are your parents doing?", "Are you going to come to this event with me?", or "When are you coming back to visit?"

Through all my frustrations & feelings of loneliness, I am still thankful everyday to be living in a beautiful country with incredible people. I love these people, and I am just not ready to leave(whatever it is I'm looking for, it's not complete - I'm not done here yet) What it comes down to is there really isn't any other place I would rather be right now. So I just need to embrace it, cause I know it will be over before I know it.

As a side note, I would like to say THANK YOU to all of those who are contributing to my computer project here! I would give individual thanks, but I can't see who is donating until afterward.

As another side note, they began working on my bathroom. I think i may be the only peace corps volunteer in this country that will be blessed with a toilet inside, hot showers, and a bathtub!

To my friends and family, As you know, yours truly has been passing time in a small rural village in El Salvador. What an adventure I'm having!! Hard to believe, I've been here for 9 months. My first 7 months here I lived with a wonderful host family, but didn't have the most ideal living situation (sharing a tiny house with 7 people, a room with no door/no privacy, practically living out of my suitcase, eating beans and rice 3 times a day, a host mom in and out of the mental institution, going to the bathroom in an outhouse full of cockroaches, spiders, and flies,etc.) As much as I didn't mind living "rough", I knew having space and privacy would help my mind, and put me in a better mental space to interact and work more positively with the people here. Oh, how alone time, privacy, cooking healthy food, exercising, and organizing your belongings can do wonders for the mind & spirit. These people have given me so much, even though they have so little. They have allowed for me to grow positively, and to be taught some great life lessons. I'm ready to give back. I am trying to help the school here raise enough money to get 15 computers. I've been helping with some fund-raising, such as making and selling champu de sabila (aloe) with students in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. I hope to also plan some more activities for the future. "Partnership Program" through Peace Corps allows anyone to donate to volunteers projects too. If anyone is interesting in donating money for this project, here is the link: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=519-158 Or from http://www.peacecorps.gov/ --- Go to Donate to Volunteers Projects. Two dollars, twenty dollars, or dos cordas. Any amount helps!! I appreciate it... as well as the 300 students here in this small rural village!! I included some pictures: The community; the school, my new house, and of the future computer lab. The gringa: carrying firewood on my head - no that is not sweat, i was swimming in the lake earlier!, getting the chicken ready for dinner, and milking a cow Photos of some of my projects: my english class, making shampoo, and the 5th grade students writing to their penpals in the states Enjoy! Hope everyone is well. Miss you all!! Gracias again for your generosity. Paz y amor. Jamie

My amazon book wishlist - If you would like to keep me sane during rainy season :) make sure you "reserve it" so others don't buy the same one. http://www.amazon.com/wishlist/2405TQWZX8DLT/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_wl_zM1Jnb1N7SWDK

Costa Rica! What a beautiful country, and what a lovely time I had with my family there. We saw lots of wild monkeys. We confirmed that the monkey call is to just simply hold a banana straight up in the air. They will come for it. The monkeys were the highlite of my trip. If you ask my mom, Michael, or Greta they may say ziplining. But for me, it was not such a pleasant experience. I don't know how you can mess up ziplining, but I did. The good news is I confirmed there is no possible way to die on ziplining if you do everything they tell you NOT to do. Anyway, doing turns on half the way down on the zipline and not being able to break when told so pretty much sums up my ziplining experience. Uf. I'm alive. I'll stick to the nature hikes next time, and meet y'all at the bottom.

I want to say thanks again for visiting my community. I hear alot of volunteers say that their families will never come visit them here. Maybe you all weren't up to explore the villages of a third world country, but you did it anyway for me. The people here will be talking about it foreverrrr. Thank you. When are they coming again?! They are asking. They did really enjoy seeing my family, and the people are still saying "esta joven, esta bonita su mama ." What about my brother and sister and law? "Oh, yeah. Them too"

Miss you already.

So in other news, I moved. Por fin! There comes a point when enough is enough. I probably should have moved before I got to this point. We all knew this. But yes, I moved about a month ago, and it's been great! I still go back and visit my host family almost everyday, and have a great relationship with them. I never feel alone, as there is always people passing by here. Even at night some ladies come and we will practice yoga or just talk. I'm slowly turning back into the person that I was once. My head is coming out of the clouds. I feel healthier. I actually want to be around people when I'm with them. I'm giving them the positive energy and attention that they deserve. Since I moved to a completely new area, I get to know different people. For the first time in 9 months I feel like an adult, and feel independence. I'm able to get my thoughts back as to what my purpose is here. I feel really comfortable with the relationships and my place here in this community. It surprises me just how much spanish I am able to understand. So far this experience has been huge self growth, and a learning experience for me. I'm ready to turn my focus on to the people in my community, and begin some projects that will fit their needs.

This blog of photos is for Nora, Bill, and Ann- They remind me how this experience will go by so fast, as it is! Wow 7 months in already? And, also to take lots of photos, because everything will just start "feeling normal" They are right. Here are some pictures I took, that appear quite boring to me, but thought you all may enjoy. Thanks for the reminders!

Just some pictures from around the house: (Handwashing my clothes, pretending to bath, and of course a photo where all the shit goes down (literally))

Just a quick blog to say, I got a puppy! What kind? Well, its more of a question of, what kind it isn't? But anyway, its cute and I love him! After going back and forth with alot of names, I finally decided on Rocky (all my host family agreed maybe because it was the only name they could pronounce) Rocky, because I wanted it to be a word in english that meant something to me. That something being the good old Rocky Mountains.

After picking off 100 fleas, and giving it a nice long bath, I was excited to cuddle with it in my hammock, and play. Of course everyone thinks I'm crazy and dirty for wanting to hold it. But I'm finding more and more people wanting to hold it (when there aren't alot of people around to see them) I'm finding members of my host family holding their dog alot more too, only to be yelled at shortly thereafter from their father. Whoops.

What an adventure getting these 3 chuchos (Rocky, Cookie, and Lazy) back to the community- The other 2 dogs are my friends. My friend Lorena, her son, and I (see photo below) walking 2 hours back to our community with the 3 chuchitos following close behind. Everytime we heard a car, yelling, "carro!" chasing after our 3 chuchos while they ran away from us. (This might be a 'you just had to be there' type of story, but we had fun!)

Everyone has got a dream, you know what I mean.

Everyone wants to see what they've never seen.

You know what I mean.

If you want me tonight, I'm yours.

For as long as I can be.

Everyone becomes invisible in the land of dreams.

- Langhorne Slim

(great song - you should download it)

For those who appreciate great music (or just any music in general- my standards for music have been lowered.), I would love to receive some! (hint, hint) It's great when it comes to hours upon hours of handwashing my clothes. Or when I'm sitting in my hammock, writing my blogs, watching the sunset through an array of beautiful green trees. Music is my sanity.

So I felt that song to be appropriate while writing this blog. So of course the people here believe the jibberish of the world coming to an end in May (due partly to the fact that they are extremely religious). I was having a talk with my Salvadorean friend in my community about one thing we want to do before we die. Her response was she wanted to go to the States to see her son's dad again (It's been 3 years). While talking about my dreams, which included "bicycling to Chile, a yoga retreat in India, and running with the animals in Africa" I realized, I'm living my dream. I remember my middle school/high school years always having an image of being in a developing country in Latin America and playing soccer with little kids. Yup, that pretty much sounds like my life right now. I did it!

Anyway, what have I been up to (outside of playing soccer casi todo los dias)? Well yours truly is getting started on some projects, poco a poco. I've been in the process of grant writing to get computers and huertos (vegetable gardens) for my school here, and later educate the youth the importance of eating healthy, and how to do their own gardens) The grants still include a 25% community contribution, so I've been coordinating with some of the staff and community members for ideas for fundraisers. Well it was more or less me throwing my suggestions out there, and them being like sure sounds good, lets try it. So in the next few weeks, I'm going to try to make shampoo de salvila (aloe) with some students and sell it. Luckily, I found a lady here that knows how to do this, so she told me she would help my first time (I hope she actually meant my second and third time too). I think we're also going to try to do a movie night, and charge dos cordas to enter, and sell popcorn and what not.

Wish me luck.

Que mas? Well, my host mom returned from the mental institution last night. She's been there for 3 weeks. She claims she is doing better, but we will see. Oh, and the house that I can move into is ready. But I do have to admit, the thought of living alone scares me a bit. We all know it is the better option to move out of my house. I think next month I'll give it a shot.

Off to San Salvador on Sunday to be Americanized for the day (eat wings, talk english, and watch the Super Bowl!)

Adios!

I remember the months leading up to my big departure for El Salvador, people would ask me, "Why did you join the Peace Corps?". I replied with, "Well, why not?" Some liked my response, but I would mostly receive a look of, "I'm going to need a better answer than that." Of course, I can understand their need for a more intelligent answer. I mean, who would give up living in the city with the most options of restaurants west of the Mississippi to eating rice and beans 3 times a day all week long. Who would give up their 2009 Subaru Impreza to stand in the back of a pickup truck with 40 other people driving an hour to buy fruit and use a computer to feel somewhat connected to life back in the United States. Who would give up a house with carpet and animals you can actually touch to a house you don't dare walk on barefoot with animals you don't dare touch (unless its time to kill them for food)? Who would give up a bathroom indoors with a seat you can sit on, to having to squat over a hole in the ground 30 yards from your house? Who would give up nice comfortable couches for plastic chairs? Who would give up a room with a door and all the privacy and space you could ask for, to live in a room with no privacy and not much space, requiring you to still partially live out of your suitcase? What part of going to sleep watching spiders and other bugs crawling on your mosquito net and waking up to all the roosters in Calderitas sounds appealing to anyone? Why would anyone give up a washing machine to come to a place where you spend a morning hand washing your clothes from the past few days? Although I must say I have really learned to love this.

Anyway, after reading Bill Brysons book, "The Lost Continent" (gracias Audra!) it made me miss the states & mostly road trips; the freedom of the great open road, the beauty and diversity of the different landscapes. Of course, this got me thinking about some other stuff: the 4 seasons, and dare I say it; the 20 degree weather, that can be enjoyed best with fireplaces, hot tubs, and warm blankets. I miss the power the mountains have and how much happiness they brought me each time I skied, climbed, or biked through them. I miss that stuff. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my country. I miss the endless options of activities to do. Here my options include hanging out with my "campo" friends, a 5 hour bus ride to see a good volunteer friend and then hang out with her "campo" friends, the beach, or to a club in the capital and spend a ton of money.

I would love to take a hot shower, without having to wear underwear due to lack of privacy. I would love to lie on a couch cuddled in blankets, watching "Scrubs", eating Oreo cookies and milk. I would love to be able to bike into town for some yummy Thai food, and a Blue Moon spending the evening dancing to live bluegrass music. I would love to be able to climb to the top of a mountain and enjoy the breathtaking views the Rockies have to offer. I would love to sit by a fireplace, watching the snowfall, sipping hot chocolate, and talking to friends about where we want to go skiing tomorrow.

As much as I would love to have that, I wouldn't give up this experience for it right now. I can have that in a couple years, AND for the rest of my life. WHY NOT have these experiences first? I will only appreciate that stuff so much more. I am happy here. I love this place. My "campo" friends actually asked me if I was this happy and smiled this much when I lived in the states. Then it got me thinking of whether I AM happier here, then when I lived in the states? I was not able to answer that question. It's a different kind of happiness. I am very happy here, but for a number of reasons much different to when I lived in the states. To begin, I'm happy that I learned Spanish and can speak in a different language. That's cool! I believe I can successfully complete my projects, and provide my community with new things. I'm learning a new culture & new things each week. My heart & mind are growing everyday (and I love feeling how much I changed already), but I think what brings me the most happiness here is seeing just how content everyone around me really is with what little they have. As I'm writing this blog, I'm looking at my family members surrounding their grandmother or mother in the hammock, talking, laughing, and enjoying the presence of each other. They have been there for the past 2 hours. The other little children from my family are having the time of their lives being creative with the items I threw in the trash the day before. (As a side note, my host sisters fight over who gets the last couple swallows of my milk when I'm done with my cereal each morning. A quote I enjoyed from Bill Bryon's book, "In America you are considered poor if you don't have a car with automatic windows or a refrigerator that makes your own ice cubes."Anyway, the response I gave those people that wouldn't take "Why not" for an answer... " I want to simplify my life. I really want to live like a person in a developing country. I really want to feel and go through what they go through. I really want to see and understand that you don't need a lot of "stuff" to be happy." I think it’s safe to say I found what I was looking for.

Could it be? Yes, I'm going to dedicate a section of my blog to the birds surrounding my house. I feel like a good chunk of my experience is constantly sensing these lovely (or err, tal vez, not so lovely animals) From the roosters as my official clock, to the occassional "oh no, i stepped in poo again", moments.

As I'm sitting here writting my blog, surrounded by a million animals, mostly birds, I felt it only to be appropriate to write a short blog on my bird ecounters these past week.

- My observation: The peerekos (small parrots) here are treated more like pets then dogs.

- I had my first rooster pooping on my head experience ( No need to explain more)

- And last but certainly not least, the two doves that manage to make it under my bed every single night no matter how much stuff I put there to block the entrance (even somehow managed to pass through the roll of medical tape I used to circle the bottom section of my bed off. The worst part isn't the poop that I slide on when I walk through my room. The worst part are the noises they make - a noise I can't even describe but I think I do a pretty darn good impression of. So my family decided after 4 months of me being here, that the chuchos (dogs) are out to get these birds and that they need to sleep inside. I almost didn't believe them until I saw the chuchos attempt to eat the duck one night. That explains that ducks missing foot.

On to some more exciting events - like my New Years Eve. It can be summed up with: Good friends, lots of fireworks, no ball dropping, Hugs at random moments throughout the night, more fireworks, more hugs, and FREE surf lessons. That pretty much sums up my New Years at the Playa Tunco! Of course the surfing part comes with a story, a brief one. I met a surf instructor and he gave me free surf lessons. My friends like to call him Tarzan because his hair looks mine when I wake up in the morning.

Anyway, the surfing is much more difficult then it looks. Needless to say, it wasn't much of a success, but it was still fun.

So all this week, there was a festival here. Let me recap the week in a nutshell: bicycle race, concert at the school, men climbing a post (5 men on top of each others shoulders) for money at the top, some thing with horses/the madrina/gifts, and dances! I was alittle iffy about drinking at the dances, but hey I can't lead my community in believing that I don't drink once in awhile, so what the hell I had a beer (or 3). The next morning I was ready to see what the community said about this. Some lady actually told me its bueno. "It's good for a stomach ache" were her exact words, minus the sarcasm.

I have never met anyone so depressed as my host mother and I hope I never do. All the life is sucked out out of this lady and there is literally nothing left but a body of a woman, a blank stare into space, and cries and moans at random times throughout the day. I might have mentioned this in a past blog, but its worth mentioning again since its such a a big part of my life here. There are times where she won't leave her bed for days , and also where I don't even see her eat for days. I don't know If i'll ever fully understand how she got to be this way, but I wish the day comes for her with the hope, life, energy, or whatever it is she may be looking for. My 4 sisters need a mother.

So I'm starting to have these delusions. For example, I thought my host sister was eating a chocolate chip cookie the one night before bed (mmm, where did she get that? what a great late night snack i thought!), but it was just a tortilla with burnt spots. The other day I thought I saw a truck driving through my community pulling a jet ski but they were just pulling sacks of frijoles.

Some other random moments: My 4 host sisters quickly leaving the room to watch an airplane flying overhead, followed by a "It's going to the USA" To them, only 2 countries exist in this world. Spending my sunday morning attempting to get 2 goats to make babies.

Oh El Salvador.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope everyone enjoyed Christmas with your families, and have a safe and happy new years as well!

Yes, of course, this time is pretty hard for me, being a thousand miles away from my family and friends, and a "world apart", spending my first christmas in 26 years away from them. But at the same time, I'm glad I got to spend Christmas in a developing country. Waking up to no gifts under the christmas tree, with a family that is just as happy that it is Christmas anyway, was a very humbling experience for me. It really didn't feel like Christmas. No presents, No snow, and noone saying "Merry Christmas". My host cousin actually laughed at me when I said "Feliz Navidad" to someone.

So Christmas in El Salvador consists of many fireworks (the annoying kind that kids throw close to each other and make obnoxiously annoying sounds), and eating lots of food! They actually celebrate Christmas on the 24th here. Christmas is the day where half the roosters and chickens throughout El Salvador are killed. My 5 year old sister is chasing one around the house as I'm writing this. My host family liked to play the game.. "Let's hand the rooster and the knife to the gringa and see what she does" I couldn't kill the thing - and am actually ashamed to admit this, but the thought did cross my mind. I did help in pulling out its feathers, cutting off the feet, pulling out the heart, and getting it ready to cook. That itself was enough of an experience for me. My host mom cried during the killing of the rooster, because she loved the singing of that particular rooster. The people here are shocked when I tell them I wear earplugs because I can't stand the sound of the roosters. "What?! Their singing is so beautiful and calming." So we killed 3 roosters in all, and made a million tamales.

The next day we walked 3 hours to take a bath in the river. It's a tradition that Salvadorians do the day after Christmas, and New Years day as well. Now when I say 'we walked' I really mean we spent half of the walk bushwhacking our way through the forest. And bushwhacking here is a very painful and exhausting experience. Half the plants and trees are full of pines and spiky things. So between everyone in my host family, we had many cuts, some blood, ripped clothing, some laughter, lots of sweat, some tears, and another great bonding experience for all. I'm in some pain today, cause I carried my best friends 2 year old son on my shoulders for half the walk. At the river, we killed 2 more roosters, caught some fish from the river, and had another delicious meal. Today I'm going to my friend Amy's community for a rodeo, which is in her front yard. Yay for cultural experiences :)

Some things I love about Salvadorians:

- They accept you and never treat you like the minority ("We are all the same and all one under God"- is what they like to tell me)

- they love that you have no pena (embarassment) (Little do they know that I am just really good at hiding it)

- They have the amazing skill of carrying stuff on their heads & are still able to turn to you to smile and say "buenas dias" as you pass.

- they are so tough; especially the ladies (I guess not having any machines to do the work for you helps a bit in that manner)

- finding the joys in the simplest things.

- they LOVE to listen to 70 and 80s American rock music

- They are extremely touchy & the ladies love holding your hand

- They laugh ALOT

- having PATIENCE

- being so great at doing nothing at all (this is something that I'm slowly getting used to, but was a hard adjustment coming from the american way of life - always having to do something, and always in a hurry)

- Feeding you a ton of food even when I tell them I'm not very hungry

- their hand gestures & pointing with their lips

- -they make some great pan dulce

- the more I am able to speak spanish, the more I'm beginning to realize, they really don't talk about much. They just really like to talk to you. That's okay. Because I like to talk to them...

Even though I have never met anyone as nice as many of the Salvadorians here. There are still things that drive me nuts about them:

- they don't have any idea what it means to recycle, nor do they throw their trash in the designated place

- playing their music extremely loud, especially when they wake up at 6am

- always hearing "deme agua, deme comida, etc..." (give me water, give me food) and never hearing "por favor"

- they say "alla" (over there) for EVERYWHERE. "Where ya going?" "Alla" "Where is the grocery store" "Alla" At the same time it is hilarious... But c'mon now. I need exact directions. "Over there" isn't going to cut it.

- always being late for everything, or saying "its too tarde" when I want to go somewhere at 3

- their "pena" (embarassment/akwardness) They have pena for everything. Don't tell the gringa about pena.

Things I never thought I would say before coming here:

- I love hand washing my clothes

- I am the only white person within an hour of this place, and I love it

- I love living in a third world country

- I can't wait to bathe in the river

- i live in a community of people where everyone smiles and says hello as you pass

- I don't mind the spiders that have a body the size of a half dollar. (its just a simple reminder as to where I live) I have currently one the size of a half dollar, and five the size of a quarter (just the body) crawling around on my wall right now.

-Dancing is my official way of exercise here

So I did celebrate Thanksgiving here, and I had quite the experience celebrating the holiday with the Americans here that work for the US embassy. It's like 2 americans living in the same central american country living 2 completely different lives. I think its safe to say I have by far gotten more of the "El Salvador" experience being here for 4 months, then the embassy worker who lived here for 4 years. So let's begin by saying the lady who I celebrated the holiday with considers herself a "homebody" and I can see why... (Note to self: Never own a huge house with really really really nice stuff, or you will never leave it) The world is much better outside your front door. Anyway, just some thoughts from my night there: "I hope my dirty stained campo feet don't rub off on her brand new white carpet" - Which one of her 5 bathrooms do I use? Oh, not that one, that is the maid's private bathroom. There are no garbage cans in the bathroom, Do I actually throw the toilet paper inside the toilet? Anyway, I loved ALL the food (I was alittle bummed there was no macaroni and cheese), but i got over it as I filled up with 2 plates of food, and 2 deserts. One of my friends even puked because she ate so much. Good for her. Back to rice and beans for us..

I was in San Salvador this past weekend, and hung out with some people from the embassy again. It's just crazy just how different are lives really are. I was hanging out talking with my friend Amy waiting for Noel, our friend from the embassy to arrive home from his day of work. We were of course on our rant and just kept saying "I've never been so happy in my life", "I love this place", "This is the life" haha. This occurs just about everytime Amy and I get together. Feeling so high and great, our friend Noel walks in super stressed out from his day, . This is where the title of my blog comes in.. "I'm broke, but I'm happy"

The longer I'm here, the more I forget I'm an American here to do work or something. I just feel so much part of this community. I just love the salvadorean way of life - handwashing my clothes, working in the milpa (cornfield), making tortillas, carrying stuff on my head, sitting and chatting on peoples front porches, etc. Every night I've been singing christmas songs with a group, going door-to-door. I love this stuff. I love these people.

But let's see... "work" - Well I did apply for this grant, asking for sports equipment. The kids here only play soccer during gym class. As much as I love soccer, I think its also great for kids to know and understand there are more sports out there. So hopefully I can win this grant in which I will buy equipment for baseball, football, basketball, kickballs, jump ropes, etc... I'm still doing my english classes with the kids and I hope to start one here pretty soon for adults. It's vacation from school right now, so It's been pretty relaxing. I hope to start some work with the womens group here (show them how to make shampoo, and different recycled art projects that I learned during my training- help them make a little profit for their group) I want to try to start some environmental projects as well. I want to start working with this lady in my community with organics and composting, and hopefully in turn teach the community and youth about this kind of stuff as well. I feel for right now, learning the needs and meeting everyone in my community will come first before I start anything big.

Que mas?

So my family here had a party the other day (my host grandparents finally got married) It was fun to see how they prepared for this fiesta, and it was fun taking part in the preparation. I got to see my first killing of the chickens. I handled it better than I thought.

So I'm feeling extremely attached to the people and this place already. I'm scared What am I going to feel like when I have to leave in 2 years?

So as the end of our pre-service training is coming to an end, my mind is all over the place. This training screwed with my head alittle bit. Nice hotels, hot showers (successfully getting the layers of dirt off my skin), air conditioning, people in business suits, saunas, computer access, a real bed- no mosquito net needed, swimming pools, great food, other gringos, grass that was actually cut with a lawn mower & not a machete, dogs on leashes, sushi, talking lots of english, dogs you can actually pet, and many "holy cow, where am i?" moments. I guess it's safe to say, I'm already finding a great appreciation for things. However, as nice as these past 3 weeks were, I am looking forward to going back to my community and the simple life I have there. The place where all you really have is each other. I miss that.

Some other moments from these past few weeks:

- Seeing my first dead person in El Salvador. We aren't really sure what exactly happened, but I think it's safe to say he was probably shot and it was probably gang related. After all, it was in San Salvador

-- Finally seeing more of this beautiful country. We traveled west to Ahuachapan (the department closest to the Guatemalan border) & Sonsonate. This country truely is beautiful. Bottom line is: mountains and funky colors sure make me happy :) Some of the towns that we went to were just so bright, funky, and fun. (street posts painted in flowers, peoples houses painted funky colors with cool illustrations. As we drove through these towns, the song "magical mystery tour" by the Beatles, kept playing over and over in my head.

So it's a bit strange with Thanksgiving approaching, being in a country where they don't celebrate the holiday. Fortunately, the workers of the US embassy opened their homes to host all the volunteers. So I'll be spending the holiday with 2 other volunteer friends & a random family. It'll be nice, maybe a bit weird as well? The holiday of giving thanks and appreciation for your closest friends and family, and spending it with a family I haven't met yet, and with friends that I met 4 months ago. But either way, I hope she can make a mean pumpkin pie, and that her house has carpet that I can walk around barefoot on. If I'm really lucky maybe she'll invite us back, and say "feel free to use my washer and dryer any time you'd like.."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

So I'm back in Apastapeque. As much as I didn't want to leave my site, I must say it is nice. It's weird to be back in civilization. I appreciate having my own room with a door, a bathroom that is only 10 feet away from my house (not to mention with an actual toilet), more food then just beans and rice, and someone to speak english with. I missed my Apastapeque group.

It was nice being reunited with my old family (where I lived during my training), we spent the afternoon in the cemetery celebrating dia de el muerto. It was very interesting for me. The graves here are HUGE and some of them are like small houses. It was beautiful to see all the flowers covering every grave and the abudance of people there. Tonight I met up with casi everyone from the group, and we didn't waste anytime drinking "jugo" with the Milanos. They loved that we can all actually understand and somewhat speak spanish now! It was nice to engage in conversation with the families we lived with before, but couldn't have much of a conversation with then. I'll be enjoying all these luxuries for the next 3 weeks. I am alittle nervous about not being able to speak spanish when I return to my site, since I'll be in gringo land for 3 weeks.

So now that I have internet, por fin! I can update everyone on whats been happening in the last month here...

Let's see...

Last week I had my asamblea general where I had to present to my community (What is peace corps? Who is Jamie? My ideas for the future) I was nervous no one was going to show up since there was chuch and another meeting, but around 100 people came. I think it went pretty well. All of my spanish teachers came, and they told me how surprised they were because my pronunciation and grammar was so good.

I had a moment of euphoria last week. Without much planning, I taught about 25 kids (of different ages) an English class. Hearing them all scream the English alphabet as I pointed to each letter. I thought, this is freakin cool. Amy came to visit my class last week, in which about 30 kids showed up. We taught the kids parts of the body, and they had fun playing simon says and learning the song head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

It's funny how you just grow accustom to weird/awkard stuff here. As I'm struggling to find stuff for my blog, I'm realizing my moments are starting to feel "normal" now. ... Let's see..

Well I was given a chicken during one of my house visits, in which I carried around with me to a few other houses I needed to visit (that really gave the town something to talk about) Owell, at least my host parents are happy that they have something to eat for Thanksgiving. Oh, and my sisters digging through my garbage, and finding items in there that kept them entertained for a week. Not to mention, giving my family something to wipe their butts with (by throwing out all my old spanish homework). Some guy here insisted on painting my nails during a house visit, then later proceeded to pretty much ask for my hand in marriage so he could go to the united states.

So as month #5 approaches, I STILL can't believe I am actually here. I feel like I'm in a dream just waiting to wake up any moment now. I mean lets be honest here, some days are TOUGH and I do feel lonely, but I still find myself every single day, thinking to myself; "man, this is so freakin cool"

A day in the milpa with the family!

my best friend here, Lorena! (this picture confirmed how much i really adore this girl...she loves jumping pictures too!!)

my family here! (in case you are wondering, yes that is someone's house... a family of 3, in fact.)

That pretty much describes my life right now. Some days are incredible - really having an "on" day ,sitting and having conversations with people, feeling loved by many people, laughing, being greeted with hugs by the little kids at school, feeling SO lucky to be in such a beautiful place with the nicest people I have ever met. Thinking to myself, there really is no other place in the world where I want to spend the next 2 years of my life. This is incredible.

then the OTHERS; where I'm the awkward gringa where people are wondering why I'm here, probably wondering what I am saying when I talk to them, being whispered about, stared at, pointed at, having no privacy at all. Being watched ALL the time. These are the days where I just want to speak english with another volunteer, someone who is in this same position. But I can't do that. And i just wait for the next day..

and then some days where it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end. Those days where I get up at 5am, get out of my pajamas around 1130. Think about doing something productive at about 130. Then it starts raining. When it rains here, noone leaves thier house. It stops raining about an hour later, but its too muddy to leave my house. So I watch some music videos from the 80s with my sisters, eat dinner, make some bracelets, and call it a night around 800. Feeling like I did nothing all day.

Well, maybe I did have a somewhat productive day after all? I was able to somewhat translate my sisters favorite song from the 80s for her. I taught the rest of my family how to make bracelets. One of the only times I saw them all in the same room together. I taught my 12 sister more english words. I made the severely depressed mother in this house smile twice today.

how i know i am growing accostume to living here

- I don't think anything of it when I go with my family to visit their family, and we have to hike over 2 hours to get there

- soccer matches in the street are the highlite of my day.

- joining my family in talking about a gringa that we see (oh mi dios! look at the gringa! jamie go find out why she is here)

- I no longer use the latrine either. The side of the house is much closer (and less stinky). I also have given up using utensils.

- Shaving my legs is way out of the question. I still shave my armpits, but I know I'm the minority.

- I officially do the hand gesture for Puchica (a word meaning damn, wow, no way!) (which is a flick of the wrist by the ear) at least 3 times a day.

- I don't have the urge to be around other Americans. El Salvadorians are cool. I love to learn about them. I have so much to learn from them, they have so much to learn about me. It's why I'm here.

- When a dog approaches me when I don't want it to, I do the "chch" noise and say "chucho" angerily.

- I'm becoming okay with doing absolutely nothing. Taking my time with just about everything I do. Spending hours just sipping on some coffee and sitting with people.

So my spanish teacher today, called me "gordita" (fat!). I tried telling myself, jamie you are just misunderstanding spanish again. Nope, there was no escaping that one. I am getting fat! Damn tortillas. El Salvadorians don't find it offensive when they call each other fat. It's "flattering" to them. Feeling alittle upset, I go back to my community, and start telling some of the people here that someone told me i was getting fat!! They respond with a rapid shake of their heads "yes" and start pointing to places where I have gained weight. *sigh. No worries, teaching the women here aerobics and yoga is in the near future. I also joined a womens soccer team here. Theres still no escaping those tortillas.

Who would have thought moving 20 minutes down the road would bring so many differences? I moved to my new site over a week ago. Last Saturday I met with my counterpart in San Salvador. It was a weird feeling traveling back from San Salvador to San Vicente (where I spent my training) knowing that all of my other friends are traveling to all sides of the country, hours and hours away (some even taking a few days to do the trip) It was more strange taking the same pick up truck as I would with my training group. A strange feeling being on it without them, but with a stranger. An even stranger feeling when I didn’t get off in Apastepeque, but venturing on for another 30 minutes to my new home.

I have been in this country for over 2 months and have not seen a more incredible sight then I have seen from the top of Calderitas. (the views of the volcano, the views of the many communities below, the fields, the animals, the palm trees, the lakes, etc.) gorgeous. I’m excited to call this new, unknown place, my home. I was anxiously greeted by my four sisters (Allison- 2, Maria Fernanda-5, Darlin-11, and Karen,13) who grabbed my bags without hesitation and led me to my new house. I instantly fell in love with them and I think the feelings are mutually. I live with them, and their parents (Arnulfo-35, and Rubia-30) It’s been about 2 weeks now, and they are still fascinated by literally every move I make. From the moment I open my eyes at 530 AM every morning, to the moment I fall asleep, they are curious about all my behaviors and items (What is this Jamie, What are you doing now? lets play cards, etc.) Literally no ALONE time… I have never been so excited to come to the training center here, just to know I would be alone! They are such a loving and caring family, and I know I am very lucky to be in their house. However, alone time is important to every human spirit. The next day we took an hour long hike to a lake. I thought we were going to go fishing, but when we left the house without any poles, bait, etc. I felt failure yet again from my lack of understanding Spanish. Well, duh, silly me, I’m in El Salvador! Who needs poles when you have sticks. Who needs bait, when you have hands to dig through mud with to find earthworms. Between my dad and my one sister, they caught about 10 fish, and me – nada! Agh I have so much to learn. I must have fallen about 8 times throughout the hike – When did I become so clumsy? We left with all the fish swimming in a plastic bottle (thinking to myself, we are probably going to eat them later) – Nope they put them in the pilla water!! Duh, silly me, once again.

Not knowing the language has made me the most “go with the flow” kind of person. Expect the unexpected. Embrace each moment. Enjoy the ride. Even if the trip takes you to someone’s house where the next thing you know you are sitting in a circle with a candle lit in the middle, praying, singing, on your knees, arms outstretched praying to God. If that isn’t awkward then I’m not sure what is. “Just go with it, Jamie” I keep telling myself. These people just love you for being there and for trying. I was glad though when Rubia told me I didn’t have to do that if I felt uncomfortable. Glad she sensed my emotions. Developing confianza, is what it’s all about for me right now. I’m not religious, but as far as everyone in my community is concerned, yes I am catholic.

Some differences between my new site and Apastepeque:

- people eat with their hands

- noone says bye when they leave

- my family showers in the open

- people are more friendly (especially the ladies – I love seeing their face light up when they see me) people always have time to sit and talk to you – even if they don’t actually have time and they can barely understand you

- everyone just throws everything on the ground – they literally mop every 10 minutes.

- latrines! (with the curtain serving no purpose) not to mention, I have yet to see anyone use it. They usually just squat along the side of the house. I’m not even sure I’ve ever seen them use toilet paper.

Some lessons I learned this week:

- You have to learn to laugh at yourself

- Tomorrow is a new day

- It isn't until you have little resources, until you can really discover how big your imagination really is

- Living like this, you find the simplest things to be utterly exciting (like climbing a tree, walking through a cornfield, or watching a TV with color that you can actually see some picture and not all lines)

- If you can’t beat them join them (I say this in regards to my sisters) From day one, they have been so fascinated by all of my things. For awhile I was getting annoyed that they just wouldn’t leave my things alone. Until it hit me. I’m selfish. These kids don’t have “stuff”. So when someone has things, they are going to want to try them. So I became okay with letting them borrow my phone so they can play games on it, it usually keeps them busy for hours. Or by giving them my markers and paper, they can usually sit and draw for hours. (its always pictures they make for me anyways) Or just by allowing them to look at my pictures all the time. They just can’t get enough of the pictures of the dogs from home (my parents dog, my brothers dog, my neighbors dog) – Probably because they actually look like normal dogs. Or all of my clothing and sunglasses, they usually enjoy a good game of lets dress like Jamie. It's funny though, ever since I have become okay with giving them my things to play with, I feel less annoyed. It makes them happy. That makes me happy. It really is the least I could do for them, since they all love to take care of me. I think they all love having the role of big sister to me.

How I know I live with such a great family:

-The dad pulls out a huge white board from God knows where (in this small house) and begins teaching me Spanish

- They are constantly listening to some of the best music from the 80s. (Aha – take on me, Toto- Africa)

- Their random/goofy acts. For example, the other day they bring 2 street dogs home from the nearest pueblo. As if they don’t have enough animals. Owell, I’m not complaining. Another animal to eat my food.

- I have a bigger room in the house, then the one other room all 6 of them sleep in. I feel alittle weird about this, though.