So I know its been a long time since I updated, but whatever. Today was my final day of teaching this semester which means the stress should end... or so I thought. The mayor just informed me that she would be coming by to check my house....ummmm ok. So I kinda have been living like a slob and it doesn't help that my sink is broken (how does that happen) and I cannot do my dishes.... I am going to try to use this thought to motivate me to get my shit together and clean this place (and keep it that way) but I dont' know how well that will work... maybe she will come by and see it and then just kick me out. Its that bad right now.

Tonight is the 8th grade ball. I am going. That is about all the emotion I can muster up for that thought. I will mmiss those guys mainly for their humor. Latest example: 3 students came in a half hour late the other day and said "Mr. Olson, we are so sorry. We thought we had math class this hour and we do nothing in that class. We would have been here if we would have known it was you teaching." It made me feel good. LOVE LOVE LOVE those kiddos and widh them the best... ok... I am going to clean... or rather, and more likely, watch reality tv... so is life.

CEO

The title says it all. 1st graders are awful. He was upset that after a year of putting up with his crap I finally feel comfortable enough to talk to his mother. Hopefully this will help. Probably won't but at least the other kids know I am serious.

In other news, I updated yesterday so read that post.

LLM,CEO

PS - I just failed at meditation... gonna try again tomorrow. Hopefully I can stop laughing at myself and just focus on my breathing.

Well I was expecting a good weekend and what I got was a GREAT weekend. A lot of stuff went wrong, but that seems to have only made it better. I think this is becoming the theme to my travel adventures.

After teaching all day Friday I hopped a train to Mezdra and met up with Whitnet, Diana, Brian and Raf. We had a nice dinner and then went out with Whitney's CP. I ended up getting to sleep around 4:00 AM only after Diana, Raf and I left the disco early. I awoke (amazingly) at 6:00, repacked, showered and caught the train to Sofia to hang out with Potere and friends. Martha's family was in town and she invited me to go see the mountains. I of course thought she meant spending the day at Mt. Vitosha in Sofia, however, I was mistaken. We hop in the car and after some wrong turns we make it out of Sofia and start driving to the Rila Monastery. Let me back up a minute... when I say hop into a car, I mean the 4 of us crammed ourselves into the back of a Chevy. It was some nice PC cuddle time although I think I am pregnant with Alex's baby now. We stop in Dupnitsa and have a nice non-alcoholic lunch and proceed to the Monastery all the while jamming to "The Best of Phil Collin: Ballads". After visiting the Monastery and spending the day with these fantastic people I do have to say I agree with Mr. Collins in that this is just another day for you and me in paradise. Now here is where the story gets a little more interesting.

After leaving the Monastery and driving through the old B-23 PST sites, our car caught the uneven and jagged edge of the road and we blew a tire. We had a spare so we thought we were ok. The problem was that the side with the flat was now on this marshy, uneven grass and the jack would not stay stable. After several attempts and even some unsolicited BG assistance, we finally changed the tire only to discover (after about 10 more minutes of driving) that the back tire was now also flat. Having no spare we had no choice but to drive a little bit further to a Shell Station. We had bent the rim. Luckily the attendants were super nice and the Shell station had beer. I will say that one of the best parts about being a Peace Corps Volunteer is that you are never the designated driver b/c you are forbidden to drive motor vehicles. So after our 3 hour dilemma, we finally arrived back to Sofia. Although now I was 3 hours late to Illyria's birthday celebration.

So I show up and everyone's there and celebrating. We hang out at one bar and then head to McDonald's b/c we feel like it is expected of us whenever we are in Sofia to go there. Also, McFlurry's are always good after beer. Then we went to Solo and danced and what not.....*This part of the story is being shortened b/c this is PG rated blog*.... I finally got back to the Hostel at 6:30AM and pass out after what had been the longest 24 hours of being awake EVER! It was a FANTASTIC mini-vacay and I will now spend the rest of the month chilling and wishing that this weekend could last forever. Thanks to all who made it possible!

Cory

~ PS - LOVED seeing Val at the train station especially b/c the 1st words out of her mouth were "You look like shit." I felt like it too...

It has come to my attention that I spend FAR too much time on the internet. I need to make some dramatic cutbacks on my internet usage. I am saying I spent a good 18 hours online this weekend. Thats sad. I need to go outside and let me albino colored flesh bronze, or rather redden. I spent all winter whining about be stuck inside and now I am still sitting here stuck in old habits despite the glory of the Bulgarian Spring. I should get off line now and go wandering... maybe with my dog. He is feeling neglected... along with my body... I need to start working out more... although I cannot run due to a knee injury. Ok... I am prolonging this now.. good bye!

CEO

I miss my family a great deal; more and more as each day passes. Its especially hard on the weekends when I cannot adequately fill my time. I know for the past 7 years I have lived away from home, but this experience is so dramatically different than college. In college I was only a few hours away plus I could call them regularly. Being on the other side of the planet is so much more difficult. I go months without hearing their voices and its really strange to me. I guess I have always considered myself fairly independent from my family, but these days I tear up at reality shows when contestants are sent home and reunited with their loved ones. It makes me think about returning home and what the scene at the airport will be like. I know I will cry, but c'mon, who wouldn't.

What makes me even more nervous is thinking about what happens after the airport. Where do I go? What do I do? What happens after Peace Corps? I mean, I only have 15 months remaining which really isn't much time to figure out my life... especially b/c I am working and working in a foreign country. There are so many decisions to be made and I honestly hae no freakin idea. Part of me wants to go back to Dallas, although I have not lived there for 7 years now. I have connections elsewhere, but I don't know. Then there is always the option of starting over someplace new yet again. I just keep hoping for a point in my life where I have everything figured out, but the older I get, the more I realize that this will never happen. Which, I guess, is living. Making the best choices you can when you can and just accepting that it will all work itself out. As unsettling as that is, what choice do we really have?

LLM,

CEO

10 months is the longest I have gone in my adult life with out attending a church service. While there is a church in my village, it is non-functioning except for the major holidays (Christmas and Easter). I was not at site during Christmas and this Easter I will be hopefully be attending a service while vacationing in Belgrade. Seeing as I cannot easily attend church here, I have been listening to the Cathedral of Hope's pod-casts whenever I can/remember to. There is something that moves me about the sermons. Maybe its the fact that I hear the message alone in my house as if it were meant solely for me. Maybe its the fact that its coming from a congregation whose beliefs are similar to my own. Or maybe its the need to be a part of a community even in my isolation. I am really not sure why I feel so connected to a church I have never stepped foot in. All I know is that I am grateful that I am glad to have such a connection and that it helps me immensely...usually when I least expect it.

I listened tonight and Dr. Rev. Jo Hudson was preaching from the parable of the Prodigal Son. This particular story is well known and I am not usually exicited to hear anyone preach from this passage. As a man who worked for the church for several years and toured the country monthly singing at different churches, I feel like I have heard this parable 10,000 times and every pastor tries to find something new to make it interesting. They usually fail. However, tonight, I was delighted upon hearing the interpretation. Instead of focusing on the return of the younger son or the feelings of the elder son, Hudson examined the father and not the father as God, but rather as Jesus. The father sacrificing all for the relationships he has with his sons and for the relationships between his sons. All of his energy is focused on relationships; gifts given, the fatted calf slain and parrties thrown. How much better would life be if we could all devote ourselves to our relationships in such a manner?

In my life, I am struggling with relationships. I physically far away from every relationship I cherished less than one year ago. Some new ones have been made here, but I still feel that they are muddled due to all I have been focusing on. I spend so much time concerned with what I am missing, or what I cannot say, or what I have to do each day, and my relationships suffer. I am usually focused so much on the parts of myself I cannot divulge to my community that I don't divulge enough. Personally, I am really scared to let them know more of me, which is to everyone's detriment... well, certainly to mine. I hope I can find the courage to let them know me so that I can better serve them and honestly, be happier. I just don't know how...

SO I dont know if its been the sunshine, the melting snow, the clean clothes, or the extra oxygen I am getting due to the lack of cigarettes, but I have been in an extremely good mood. I am trying to just go with it, but its been four good days in a row. I want to trust it, so I think I am going to. Thats all for now...

CEO

1) opened m curtains in my living room for over three weeks mainly for 2 reasons: a) I do not want to see the snow and b) I dont want the townspeople of PK to see how I live. I feel like if someone from the village were to walk into my house right now, that I would be doing Americans around the globe a grave disservice. Its not like I don't clean, b/c hey, I really do. Every Monday is clean the house day. Its just th days in between that it gets really messy again. I don't know... maybe I am just a typical 25 y/o bachelor who is living on his own for the first time. All I know is that I need to step up this up a notch and just be a bit more responsible.

2) gotten out of bed so far today. This is why I love Wednesdays.. only one class and its not until 2:30. Although today, I have an English lesson with one of my friends here at his place (i.e. his parent's place) at 7:00 or 8:00... this is about as specific as he would get when I asked what time he wanted to meet... I hope he meant at night...

3) exercised since Ingrid left. Yeah... the only excuse there is the snow, but even then I have had no excuse to let my body athropy to this point. I am just loose skin and bones right now. I need to build some freakin muscle before summer. Just something... I still cannot believe that I have lost like 80lbs... now its time to tone what's left.

4) Bought my plane tickets to Brussels... that needs to happen. ASAP.

5) smoked a cigarette in 24 hrs. This is the first 24 hours of my cigarette free life. It kills me to think that I only have a few adult friends in this wourld who have known me since before I started smoking. I don't wanna be a smoker. Smoking is really gross and I am tired of wasting my money on slow suicide. I NEED TO BE HEALTHY!!!!

For all of you wondering why I am saying all this on a public forum, its really b/c I need help motivating myself to do these things. Like for reals, yo. Some days I can, but others I can't. So if any of you folks out there would like to help, just leave me a comment or write on my facebook... I still check it occasionally. And finally, here is a really cute picture of my 7lb ferocious puppy! He is too much....LLM,CEO

Have you ever had that dream where you are really sick and some one starts beating on your window and tells you that you have to come to school and teach English to Bulgarians even though its Wednesday and you aren't supposed to have class until 2:30 in the afternoon? Yeah, me neither, but this morning it became my reality. There is so much snow right now the bus could not make it here from Bjala and thus the 3 teachers who live in the village (myself included) got to teach all the classes this morning. I dont know why we just didnt cancel school, but so is life. It really isn't a problem, it was just an awful way to be woken up. My students laughed at me because the very first thing I said when I arrived in class was "I am sick and I was asleep 5 minutes ago. If you don't want a dvoiki you will sit down and not talk." Except it was sleep-slurred and in Bulgarian. I would have laughed at me too. We ended up playing M*A*S*H* for a while followed by hangman, categories and other time filling activities as I tried to gain my bearings. Over all it was a very confusing, mildly medicated, blur of happenings which luckily ended recently. At least I will know that this is a possibility tomorrow and can be somewhat more prepared.

This would have not been an issue if it were not for this wretched snow. I have been reading blogs from friends who live in the south saying how its just beginning to snow there. To them, I send an invite to the north where the glistening white has been blinding us for months as it chokes the life out of the ground below. The landscpe is one of shrubbery zombies who have some how clawed their way from their icy graves and are now slowly crawling over the frozen tundra that is Polsko Kosovo. Dramaitc, maybe, but nonetheless true. I cannot wait much longer until the day I can awake and see any color besides white. Come on spring. I know you won't let me down! For now, I am going to back to bed and will hopefully have a peaceful, uninterupted slumber. And when I wake, maybe I will find all the snow has gone and my dream of spring will have come true.

LLM,

CEO

to use this blog as I originally intended to use it; as a venue to highlight the good part(s) of my day.

1) At 3:00 this morning, as I lie awake filled with emotion from my mini Amazing Race Marathon, I heard a noise that I thought I would never here again. It started as a slow trickle and then became a thunderous gushing... you guessed it, my hot water pipes unfroze and are now flowing. Excitement does vey little justice to describe the over-whelming joy that rushed over me. Praise the Lord!

2) None of my students hate me for failing them, or if they do, they haven't been acting like it.

3) I am about to try and make peach banitsa... I am scared, but not as scared as my colleagues will be when I make them taste test it tomorrow.

4) I am really happy that my best BG friend, Malena, and her family, are ok after a pretty bad car accident this weekend. She and her husband are going to spend a little more time at the hospital but over all, they will be ok. She is the Biology teacher at my school and my occasional BG tutor.

5) One of my 8th Graders called Lady Gaga a travesty today, which in itself is funny... then my class proceded to tell me he meant transvestite... which is still funny.

Yeah.. thats it for now... BANITSA TIME followed by a hot shower and a meeting with the Mayor. I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY!!!!

LL&M,

CEO

so its been over a month and basically what I have learned is I complain alot. Some of its warranted but most of it my whining is not. Yeah, winter sucks, but overall I am loved and am pretty content with my life. Once the weather changes, hopefully so will my crappy mood. Not saying that this experience is easy, but man, a shitty attitude doesn't help.

CEO

Today, thanks to the all-power, unrelenting facebook "suggestions", I came across an alumni group for my high school. Seeing how I am already a member of various high school alumni groups, I thought I would check this one out to see if I was missing anything. I am really glad I did. There were videos from this years homecoming parade (the 50th anniversary) and apparently we went to the playoffs for the first time since 1992. I used to lead that parade as head drum major and I played half time at those games. What made me happiest was the link to the choir page.

On this page they have posted some audio clips and the first two songs happened to be two songs that I have performed. One I performed in Notre Dame in Paris and the other both at Carnegie Hall and at a church outside Ground Zero also in New York. This got me thinking about the past seven years and how I have spent them. I have been lucky enough to perform at the White House, travel Europe singing and studying music and now I am living in a foreign country teaching English. I just think its amazing what I have gotten to do since graduating college. It kinda excites me for the next 50 years of my life because I dont want stop these experiences now. Lets see what happens. Bye for now!

CEO

*Sorry I wasn't focused on this....

As I mentioned in my last post, this weekend I was to host a little Thanksgiving gathering with some other volunteers and some people from my village. It was a stressful week but everything came together thanks to my wonderful community and the support of my fellow PCVs. I especially want to thank Emmy and Jesse for everything they did. Emmy = Culinary Rockstar and Jesse = all around bad-ass.

Now about the actual event. Let me first say that this was my very first time ever having hosted this particular holiday and I don't think it could have gone better. My only regret is that I misplaced my camera, so I am relying on facebook to document this day. The guest list was originally supposed to be about 6 or so volunteers and we would eat at my house, all sitting around the table Norman Rockwell style. I then had the thought to invite a few Bulgarians as well such as my CP and my director. Imagine my surprise when I checked the facebook event list to see that 18 volunteers were wanting to come to my place for Thanksgiving. Ok, we will just have to sleep really close and I would just buy some extra plates and silverware, No problem... until in our staff meeting the director decided to invite the entire faculty. UMMM... yeah. I was now looking at having to serve around 30 people all in my rustic country cottage. There was just no way. So, with my counterpart, we went to a local cafe and asked if we could use here facility for a few hours and that everyone would buy drinks from her. Thankfully she agreed and seemed happy to do so. It really worked out because its always been a secret dream of mine to have Thanksgiving with a disco ball. With a larger venue I decided to invite a few more people including the Mayor, the Diretor of the Chitaliste, the Director of the Kindergarten and a neighbor or two. Everyone said they would bring food and/or wine and it turned out great. There ended up being 16 Americans (one was Emmy's friend traveling Europe) and 15 Bulgarians. And what happens when BGs and Americans get together... HORO! It was fun and the food was WONDERFUL. Everyone had a great time and I would love to host again next year.

What was even better was the football game before hand with a hord of children from the school. I felt like we were in a PC magazine. I cannot wait to see the pictures and video. The after party was also fun. There was much home made wine and someone from the village gave me a bottle of champegne. Also, TWISTER! AND a Christmas surprise. Why just celebrate one holiday? Thanks again to Emmy for working so hard on making those stockings and for finding the santa suit. Also to Jesse for wandering my village with an axe looking for Christmas tree to chop down. Luckily the magazine had one for 4 leva. No trees were harmed in the making of this party. It was just a great time. THANKS again to everyone who came and made this possible. I will get picture up soon and hopefully the story from the local newpaper. Being interviewed in BG is difficult as is giving a Thanksgiving speech.. oojas! Anyway, I hope your Turkey Day was just as amazing and that everyone has a great day!

CEO

There is no better way to explain the past two weeks of my life then to simply explain them as they happened and let you be the judge.

Two weeks ago I received a phone call from one Ms. Ingrid Robledo who, at the time, was living only six km away from my village. Her unnaturally deep voice sounded distressed and finally told me she had made up her mind to return to Miami. This was quite a devastating blow not only to me personally, but to the morale of the B25's in general. Not to sound overly dramatic, but for me this was especially hard. She was basically my site mate and more than that, my friend. And she still is my friend, but I just cannot jog to her village and see her anymore. SO, Elizabeth and I decide to help her out and get her, along with her 2 giant (and I am sure, overweight) bags to Sofia. This turns out to be a little harder than we imagined.

To begin, I had to find some one to watch Bernard and get out of an all day teacher's meeting. Easier said than done, as are most activities here in BG. Eventually it happened and all was seemingly good... well until I wake up Tuesday morning to meet Ingrid and Elizabeth on the train. Its a little known fact that when I leave, even for just one night, I have to thoroughly clean my house and since my new vacuum cleaner is broken, I decided to sweep my carpets with a hand broom. JOY and ELATION. This, in turn gave me the sinus infection from hell. So now, I am on a train at 7:00AM half deaf and immobilized by pain; both physical and emotional. Halfway to Sofia, our train breaks down and it starts raining. Pretty much par for the course at this point. We eventually make it and all is relatively well. I go to the PCMO and after a random EKG (I still don't know why) I get some medicine which makes life all the better. We say our good byes over "Mexican " food and enjoy a night.

I get home and have 2 days before I have to travel back to Sofia for Jill's birthday. Jesse brings his dog, Ambrose, to stay with Bernard at my place while we are away at IST (which began after Jill's). Back in Sofia, we have the BEST Indian food ever and decide we wanna go out. WHATTA BUST! I will say that I had more fun finding these alleged "clubs" than I had while inside of them. It also served as a reminder that no matter how much weight loose, I will never be accepted in my community... boo. Now, lets move on to IST...

IST is the 1st time we have seen each other as a group since swearing in and of course we celebrate accordingly. Some of us more so than others. I only wish I had eaten more than a Caesar Salad before the celebration had begun. It also didn't help that I have more or less stopped drinking and trying to drink like I used to was not the best of ideas. I am not 20 anymore apparently. Thank God for good friends and my innate ability to stay Professionally Appropriate. Not everyone has that ability though as proven by the fire extinguisher some one sprayed in my room. I am just glad he owned up to it and did not let me and my room mate take the blame. I just love the irony of me and my baggage being flame retardant. There was also bowling, go-go dancing and other events that would take entirely too long to explain. IST ended with an 8 1/2 hour train ride back to my site in which I was wearing my winter jacket, a sweater, running shorts and tennis shoes, as well as Kay's rainbow sunglasses. My companion on the train was Jesse with his miniature guitar with the inscription "This Machine Kills Fascists". I feel that we looked like the saddest travelling musicians in all of Europe. The plot thickens (believe it or not) when we got stuck in a village near mine and had to ask the local police for a ride back to my house. They took one look at us and decided they had to call some one from my village to prove that I am who I claimed to be.

At the end of the day(s) I feel that "eventful" barely scratches the surface of the past two weeks. Who knows what will happen this weekend when 10 - 15 volunteers descend upon my village to attend what promises to be the most non-traditional, traditional Thanksgiving meal of our lives. The potential for disaster is high and who knows what non-sense the fates have in store. Tune in next week for the continuation of this never-ending saga.

Love, Laughter and Music (and certainly not brevity)

Cory

PS - SVINSKI GRIP!!!!

this will be short....

I miss my friends so much. I want to celebrate their victories with them and help them through their sorrows. I want to be in their comfort of their familiarity and know what they are thinking before they say a single word. I am so far away and I just want to be with them.

The victory in is realizing this but the defeat is in not being able to change the fact that they are so far away. I am desperately longing.

Cory

I have now been here in BG for 5 1/2 months. That seems NUTS to me. It also seems crazy that a larger part of that time has been spent at site than in training. I know there is so much more time ahead, but several events today have made me want to pause and look back at the past 5 1/2 months.

I guess what got me feeling reflective was receiving a phone call from my host family. They wanted to make sure I was warm and had been wondering why I had not been on skype lately. I thought this was just about the sweetest damned thing anyone has done for me in a while. Although yesterday, the woman offering to help me chop my wood was a nice gesture. It was, however, negated by her 2 hour Bulgarian rant about a "Clean" Bulgaria. Anyway, after talking to my host family, I decided to read over some old journal entries from PST. I had already forgotten a lot of funny things that happened in the Dobro! It was also fun to see what my life is like compared to what I thought my life would be like. I will share a few excerpts from my journal later in this entry.

Finally tonight, I watched this week's worship from the Cathedral of Hope. And unsurprisingly, it matched perfectly with my feelings of nostalgia and reflection. This past Sunday was All Saints Day; a day to remember all those saints who have come and gone before us. This year I have been extremely fortunate not to have lost many people close to me, but still, every All Saints Day I remember my Granny and acknowledge my mother. These two women, prospectively, were the most positive and the most negative influences in my life and in many ways, still are today. I guess this is bordering closer to somber than to nostalgic. This year was also different b/c I "attended" the All Saints service from thousands of miles away and at a new church. This year's "In Memoriam" was a little harder to watch because unlike the previous years, most of the deceased were much younger. Instead of being in their 70's, 80's or beyond, many of these men and women were only in their 30's, 40's or 50's. It is a reminder that HIV/AIDS is still an unsolved problem and one, I think, that can be solved. Its also a reminder to be safe and smart. This is an unfortunate lesson taught by those Saints who have gone before us.

As I mentioned earlier, I wanted to post somethings from my PST Journal. Both some serious and frivolous thoughts that made me think or smile tonight:

From May 18th:

However, the creeping thought keeps crossing my mind that at least they can talk about their feelings with Bulgarian communities. [Some] hardships are not seen externally and are not accepted.... I have grown so relaxed with being who I am that I have honestly taken for granted that men and women are persecuted just for [being themselves]...I guess I did not fully prepare myself for this reality...

From May 27th:

When was the last time you played with a foreigner? Maybe that will be the title of my book...

From May 28th:

I HATE ROOSTERS! They are loud, they cannot tell time and you don't even eat them!

From June 28th:

If you wear a bow tie [to my funeral] you will receive a hand written note, from me, asking you to "please leave".

From July 6th:

We taught a blind and deaf boy how to swim (YAY SUSTAINABILITY!)

From July 10th:

I do not believe one can give too much of oneself. I do believe, however, that it is easy to over-extend yourself and venture into a area which is detrimental to your well-being. This is a selfless job in which sometimes you have to be selfish.

I also closed each of those journals with a written prayer and I would like to do so again now:

Heavenly Father, source of everything and in whose image I am created, I would like to thank you for this day. Thank you for everyone in my life, both those close and those who are far away. Thank you for all the love you have shown me and for all the blessings you continue to pour upon my life. I pray tonight for the discerning wisdom and the patience to make my earthly life all I know you want it to be. I would also like to pray for all of the saints who have come before me and surround me now. With the knowledge of their, and Your almighty presence, I pray that I may do good by them and You. May everyone experience Your unlimited love as I have, and in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, I pray. Amen.

The Increasingly More Verbose,

CE the O

With October now finally over, I find myself staring bleakly into November and the impending winter. When the past month began, I remember some how feeling rejuvenated about why I am here. I was so excited and things were seeming to go my way. I began this blog in the mindset that my positive outlook would continue unfaltering, and while I know that this was a unrealistic notion, I still had hope. I think what takes me further away from my optimistic center is the fact that my life here is drastically affected by seemingly small obstacles and/or triumphs. And I am speaking literally when I say that my mood can easily flip-flop in the matter of seconds. Little things such as a Halloween card from my third graders has the ability to gleefully carry me through the day while seeing my eighth grade girls turn in a blank test utterly shatters me. I think that if there was even some hint of mild, emotional consistency in my life, I would be less concerned. If it were all going to be miserable, I could prepare. If it were all going to be jubilant elation, I would accept it openly. But my emotions lately have been as unpredictable and as dramatic as the Bulgarian weather. I just want some freakin' consistency (in my emotional state and the weather). Hell, I would settle for some middle ground. I just cannot handle the intensity of how high the highs are and how low the lows can be. This week I will specifically set aside time to determine how balance can be achieved. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to let me know.

In keeping with the becomingly more apparent manic theme of this blog, I would like to share that last week was overall the best week I have had since I have been here. In fact, I was so busy enjoying it, I never found time to blog about it. There is absolutely nothing better than Halloween Week for an elementary school teacher. If only I could afford to incorporate candy into every lesson. If you are curious to see what Halloween looked like in the PK, please refer to Facebook. Its just too late for me to try and add pictures to this blog right now.

And, if you are still reading this, I would like to say how great it was to see everyone at Halloween in VT. I had a wonderful time and it was fantastic to meet so many new people. I was a little disappointed in the homo-no show, but only b/c I never get to see those guys/gals. I also really appreciated everyone who lent me parts of their costume so that I could truly enjoy the holiday. I don't know how it happened, but this was yet another Halloween that involved me, a wig and too much eye make-up. Although, for some one who showed up without a costume, I think I totally rocked my interpretation of "East German Cougar". I can't wait for those pictures to be published on FB. There is so much more I want to write, but for now I am going to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow's lesson plans will come to me in my sleep.

Love, Laughter and Music,

The Always "Professionally Appropriate" Cory, Son of Ol

Today, I finally managed to light a fire on my first attempt! While this seems like an easy task, it is shockingly difficult. I have also learned that old math homework burns better than any other type of homework which only further proves the point that math is from hell.

In other exciting news, my kindergarten class is quickly becoming the best 30 minutes of teaching I have all week long. While the retention is low, enthusiasm is high... its especially fun for me b/c not only do these children not speak a word of English, but they also don't know Bulgarian. They only speak Roma. They are SO cute though, despite there being 35 of them. I think that they might actually learn the English alphabet before the Bulgarian... I can only hope. Seriously though, I love these kids.

Finally, I have decided that I have to stop watching the Biggest Loser and frankly, most Reality TV in general. Every time they show some one going home I cry when they get to see their families. I feel like this experience is much like a reality TV show with out cameras. Bernie acts as my confessional booth and I am afraid I am going to get eliminated. Bernie probably would vote me out of the country if he only had thumbs to write down my name. Well, I should go to bed before I get emotional again... Leke nosht...

LLM,

CEO

Part of the reason I started this blog was so one day I could look back and remember everything that happened in my two years in the BG. However, today is a day I wouldn't mind forgetting. From the moment I woke up (an hour and a half after my alarm went off) to just now when my pack of dogs, after being outside for 40 minutes, came inside and all shit on my carpet... I just want to forget it. Days like this require massive quantities of food and preferably food I do not have to prepare. But seeing how I live in a village that closes at 7:00 and has no fine dining establishments, I have to settle with my last package of faux Ramen Noodles. I guess I could have gone Na Gosti but to be honest, I don't have the energy after teaching, travelling to Ruse for a meeting I didn't understand and getting yelled at while trying to buy snow boots. I did, however, manage to buy a sweater vest which I thought was a sweater. It also looks very much like the only other sweater vest I brought with me to Bulgaria... yay! I love sweater vests...

You might be thinking that this kind of writing is the antithesis of what I had intended for this blog, and well you are right. But good things come from this as well. For example, I can now go to bed with out feeling so angry. Also, frustration makes chopping wood a hell of a lot easier (I am still trying to work on making it more masculine). I have also learned not to feed my dogs so much so late in the day and to look down before I get off the couch. See, there is a silver lining.

I almost broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes today... cold weather begs for cigarettes and/or whiskey. Instead, I voted for Beauty and the Geek: Australia, Season Two. I am not sure if I can count that as a victory seeing as its relatively depressing. My BG life is at least multi-cultural. Also on the depressing front, I wanted to run today (b/c it was finally sunny) but it was already too dark when I got back from Ruse and something freaks me out about running through a field in the middle of the night. Anyway, on days like this, when I feel I have suffered more failures than had successes, I like to think of things that make me laugh. I would like to share some of my favorite BG moments thus far that still make me laugh:

10) Anytime I get to inform people who have been talking about me that I understand Bulgarian...

9) The woman at my magazine who refuses to sell me flour because one time I said I cannot cook...

8) When, on my first day at my satellite site, my host sister passed me a note saving "My mother wants you to remove your shirt."

7) Discovering that Anagrams for my name are "Rosy Colon" or "Drowsy Canoodler" depending on if you include my middle name...

6) Being beaten by a Bulgarian at English Speed Scrabble

5) The bus driver in Byala who thought I didn't know I had arrived at my destination so he kindly yelled "AMERICAN! GET OFF!"

4) The entire 7th grade class carrying the couch from the director's office to my house and me with out my camera

3) In trying to tell Baba Nikki we were kidnapping Tanya, I kept saying we were changing her clothes

2) When asking my 7th graders what was special about our village, Pavlin simply said "I live here"... and that's the only English I have ever heard him speak

1) Everytime Baba Mladenka open mouth kissed Matt....

And being able to decide how I feel, is today's everyday victory! I am so going to bed!

Love, Laughter and Music,

CE the O

Today I cannot stop laughing at the new experiences I get to have everyday. This has actually been the theme of the week. While yes there have been many many stresses (i.e. the 5th Grade), I just cannot wipe the smile from my face. This actually got me into a little trouble at the my first parent teacher meeting this week. Maybe it was the ridiculousness of not understanding anything that was being said, maybe it was the parents coming in over an hour late or maybe it was the kindergarten class making faces at me, but I could not stop laughing. It wasn't an out loud guffaw but more of one of those silent, body shaking laughters. I tried biting my lip and thinking of something else but nothing seemed to work. What made it worse is that my counterpart started laughing with me as well as the music teacher. The three of us were just in the back laughing, occasionally getting looks from curious parents. I love those moments were words are not even needed to explain why something is funny and everyone knows it just is..... When we got to the topic of the Swine Flu, I really lost it. After over an hour of not understanding anything, understanding "SWINE FLU" in Bulgarian struck me as particularly amusing. Seeing how I have been sick all week, I leaned over to my counterpart and whispered that I in fact have the swine flu and have to go home and then we started laughing out loud. Thank God the meeting soon after and none of the other teachers were brave enough to try to ask me why we were laughing. Something else that struck me as odd this week was having to take my 5th grade class to get some immunization. I have no idea what shot they received and I am thankful I knew how to decline the shot myself. ... Finally, in the past two hours, I have had my furnace hooked up and was shown how to chop wood by a woman in heels... BG women are serious yo. This same lady gave me a TV and now I am watching Animal Planet.... thanks Bulgaria.

************************************************************************************* Sorry for the sudden break, but as I am writing this blog, my life has gotten infinitely more insane. In the past 30 minutes I have been given two more puppies and a cat! WHAT!?!?!?!? How do I all of a suddenly have a freaking animal reserve in my house?!?!?!?! YIKES! Ummm... please some one help me out here... free cute puppies; first come first serve... the cat might go to Ingrid but I will have to wait and see... ummmmm.... Dr. Freakin Doolittle.... Cluelessly Yours, CEO

The Two New Pups and Bernard looking pissed in the background The New Cat I hope Ingrid will take... he/she is sweet just frightened right now

Happy Monday to all who are reading this blog. I am going to try to keep it short tonight as it is nearing my bed time and I exercised entirely too much today.

All is quiet here in Lake Woebegone...er.. um... I mean the PK. I am still adjusting my schedule to include Bernard. This is the first time in my life that another living being has relied solely upon my care. It really makes me nervous but it also makes me happy at the same time. As I type he is asleep (finally) in my lap. He spent the first half of the day outside and he wasn't really happy about that. I have a giant back yard and he refuses to leave the back step. I cannot wait until he is old enough to run with me. Oh, and last night he wet the bed thus he will be sleeping in his box in the bathroom tonight. Washing a comforter by hand is time consuming.

Teaching is still crazy. Everyday I am handed something new to sign and not expected to read/understand it. I am convinced that I have actually agreed to live here permanently and will find out in two years when I try to leave. It wouldn't be so bad I guess. Its not like I am going to go back to the US and have my own house, this kind of job security or people who bring me random vegetables. I would however insist on changing the carpet and getting a new bed.

So last time I wrote I wanted to know opinions about the limits of God. And I feel that all who would read that statement would say "Cory, how dare you say God is limited... He(?) is GOD!" To which I say you are absolutely right. God, in my understanding, is limitless (except for intervening with the whole free-will thing (thanks Bruce Almighty)). But why then do so many believe that women who have abortions are going to hell. That homosexuals will join them and that adulterers are also condemned. Why put these limits on God's love? Why is God limitless in every aspect except for love? My God is a god of unfathomable love. UNFATHOMABLE! We cannot even begin to understand His great capacity for love nor do I think need to. We need to have faith that our God's love is beyond our comprehension and if we trust in that love, all will be right. Obviously, easier said than done. I know I am still working on it. I speak more on this later when I am not exhausted and can actually make points that are not repetitively redundant. I am off to bed...

Love, Laughter and Music,

Cory

PS - Please don't misunderstand earlier comments about abortion, homosexuality and adultery; I was not comparing them. I do not think homosexuality is a sin. Although if I did my therapist would be happy... these examples are VERY different and I was trying to name things under the category "Reasons People Say You Go to HELL"... can't you just see that on the $100,000 Pyramid....

Well guys, I no longer live alone. I now live with a 10 week old rat terrier mix named Bernard. Despite his initial hesitations, he has warmed up to the idea of living with me and even as I type he is asleep at my feet. All I have to say is that this dog has personality! I had mentioned naming him Argyle to which he looked at me, lowered his head and sighed. And yes, I am going to become one of those people who talks WAY to much about his dog... I mean, I have wanted a puppy since college. This is just perfect timing I feel.

This puppy however was not the best part of my day. Bernard was just the icing on the cake. I had wonderful week at school, I patched things up with my dad, and even got to talk to him on skype. I talked to my kids about starting a "Sports Club" (who would of thought that I would help start a sports club?) and we decided to meet every Monday and Friday and play games and exercise. I even talked to an 8th grader about why she should quit smoking. I also scheduled my first adult English class and made signs (in Bulgarian (with some help)) and now I just have to put them up. Overall, my energy is really high and I am excited about what I am doing with my life.

This also makes me stop and think how easy it is to "find God" in these good times when we are happy. I guess it has always struck me as odd that we are always God's "Fair Weather Friend". We treat him like a sports team. When they are winning everyone loves them, but the moment they stop winning, our support stops too. My point is that its easy to thank God for the sunshine and goodness but hard to find th desire to thank Him for the rain and tragedy. Its hard to thank Him for what can sometimes hurt. However, I think that in my own life, I can better find where God is in the times of tragedy than in times of joy. Looking back at the previous paragraph, how many times did I mention "I"? Ummm... alot. I get excited by the joy and the successes that I simply get swept away. I tend to like to take all the credit when I do not fully deserve it. It makes me feel good, What I am failing to realize is that if I shared credit with God, I would feel better and have a better understanding of his works. The comfort of knowing God's hands were a part of my life today makes me feel better, and with this comfort in mind, I have to go to bed...

Leke Nosht,

Cory

PS - There is always at least one "PS"... I was wondering people's thoughts on two things 1) Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize and 2) your thoughts on a limited God...

So I know that this is my third blog attempt and third blog name since leaving the US this past May, but I honestly feel that this will be a blog I can maintain. You see, the other blogs were created because I thought I could be funny and because I wanted to share my experiences from here in small town Bulgaria. While I still believe these goals to are possible, I am writing this new blog primarily as a way to remind myself that everyday life has little victories. Maybe they don't seem like much, but they are there.

What is an everyday victory, you ask? Well I shall tell you. Some days, for me, a small victory is just saying one sentence correctly in Bulgarian. Some days its just waking up and other times its that slight hint that something I have said has made sense to one of my students. Some of my proudest (and some of my worst) moments have been in the kitchen. I made vegetarian moussaka last night and I can make soup now! Who knew I could do that? Another proud moment was catching a mouse that had been running a muck in my house. No I didn't kill it; not for ethical reasons, but more because I didn't want to deal with mouse blood. My point is, everyday victories are different for each of us and I personally don't think we give ourselves enough credit for our small wins.

When was the last time you focused on what was accomplished on your "To Do" list instead of what did not get done? What about driving home safely from work or school? Anyone who has lived in Louisiana knows that this is a victory! I am personally astonished that none of my students have gotten up and walked out on me. I am also amazed that I have found the time and energy to run everyday this week. What I am trying to focus on in this blog is what went right (or simply better). So much time is spent focusing on the "failures" that we often forget about that even though we failed, we tried.

If you are wondering where this is coming from, and I am sure you are, its just that my life is in need of a change. I have been presented with a wonderful opportunity to change my life and I have been focusing on the hardships; I cannot speak the language well, I don't have a car, I have to cook, and trust me the list goes on. If I cannot change my attitude now, I will be miserable for the next two years and I will have not served my community to the best of my ability. Does this mean I am going to complain less, I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I will be conscientiously looking for, and never down playing, my everyday victories.

Rev. Betsy Eaves, the chaplain at Centenary College, used to ask me where I found God everyday. I would often just make something up because most days I was too busy to search for God. Sorry Betsy if you ever read this and sorry God for expecting you to do all the work. I guess now, even though I am still keeping busy, I am willing to put the effort into searching for/listening to God. That's another reason why I am starting this blog. I am trying to listen and something says to me that this is the right time to write about this.

My daily devotional today (2 Kings 5:11-12) was about Naaman , a military leader, who was conflicted with a skin disease and sought out Elisha for healing. Long story made short, Elisha told him to wash in the Jordan seven times, which Naaman thought was beneath him but his servant convinced him to do it anyway and wham bam thank you Mam (God could be a woman), he was cured. Can't you tell I am a GREAT theologian. The point is, Naaman found God somewhere he didn't expect to. I feel like God is always where we least expect him, like Elijah hearing God, not in the earthquakes and all that mess, but in the silence as a still, small voice. And that still, small voice isn't always easy to hear.

I recently listened to a sermon from the Rev. Felix Carrion and he spoke about conversing with God and how it should be just that, a conversation. For me, this is hard. We all know I love to talk and in my time with God, I let loose. And as I said earlier, that still small voice is hard to hear, and when ya don't shut up, its impossible. Well, at least in my life this is true. I often wonder how many things would have been different if I had only listened. However, tonight, while running through a field in Bulgaria, I listened and this is why I am writing now about the things that make my days better. A blog focusing my thoughts on the small, seemingly insignificant happenings in my days. I guess we will all see what comes from it.

Well anyways, welcome to my blog. It's not always going to have the "life is sunshine and rainbows" undertones like this one, but I think it will work for me and I hope you enjoy it.

Love, Laughter and Music,

Cory

PS - I get my devotionals from the Cathedral of Hope's website. There are also sermons available for you to watch and many other great things on their website.

PPS - If a day or two passes without an update, its not because I haven't had any "everyday victories" but rather because I am a Peace Corps Volunteer with loads of responsibilities. These responsibilities will not hinder my search for the everyday victories, but rather will hinder my blogging about them. THANKS!

This is where I run every day