i am now a graduate student. i study under the department of political science, specializing in social-demography.most people dont know what it is.. and they just say "oooo wow!"i just say i study populations and rates. statistics. and their faces kind of grimace or nod and the conversation moves forward.

not a great conversation starter. haha

it is almost the end of september. the last two days in barcelona have really been true to autumn. windy, chilly, lots of leaves on the ground.

summer is over, no more lazy days at the beach, no more warm vacations in sicily, many less late nights outside without thinking about what will have to be done for tomorrow. oh. and now the period of ....LAYERING... has begun :) i am a pro at this one though, so thats just fine.

about a week ago i spent the weekend in the states. yeah, a bit crazy. hopped a plane home for the beautiful wedding of my dear cousin, spent 3 days just livin' it up with the fam... which of course was a blast. too much fun. dancing, laughing, smiling... im surprised my face didnt fall off i smiled so much. (now i believe everyone when they say i look like alex)

and then it was back to barcelona directly to classes, and then four days of vacation due to the end of september Merce festival. so um, clearly my life is very serious. ha!

for pleasure i am reading a delightful book : Through the Language Glass; why the world looks different in other languagesby Guy Deutscher

its quite interesting, and it perks my interest, as I myself am a lover of language... and for me its true, expression is different by way of which tongue you are using.

so, that saidhasta luego, un beso, un bacio, un pupicxoxonatalie (and layla)

okay okay, so now we are settled.mostly.

the amazingly smooth departure from bucharest and arrival in barcelona two weeks ago calmed my nerves a bit- including luck with big taxis (in both cities) for our voluminous baggage + dog crate + 2 people + dog. after arriving to my apartment building which is conveniently located smack dab in the heart of the center near Plaza Universidad, i conveniently got stuck in the elevator with my suitcase, while marian patiently waited for me on the first floor with the rest + dog. ... welcome to barcelona!

but there was no problem with this. the sun was shining, people were happy, and in general, the atmosphere is just naturally relaxed. it was like instant-relief.

the first few days were spent being normal tourists, so mr marian could see why i love this place so much... long walks from end to end of the city, parks, architecture, beaches (here and nearby towns), music, people, art, everything etc.

but everything is calm. and that feeling is like a complete 180 from one month ago.

I am on vacation. I have few things to do each day, if anything at all, so it is all a very nice experience.some of my old friends from 4 years ago are living here still or again as well, so its nice to get together with old and new friends for some barcelona evening time. the international atmosphere and experience of people here always blows my mind and makes me feel a little more normal.

layla seems to like it here too... big sidewalks... lots of dogs. i mean EVERYONE has a dog, and is always walking it... everyone picks up the poop because its normal, and not a single dog barks. its so beautiful! naturally her timid and jumpy nature still persists, and she is afraid of the busses and the other dogs that want to sniff her butt, but all these things are changes for her and she is adjusting very nicely. i know everyone cares about how my dog is adjusting and living... really.

so thats pretty much it- here are some pictures of the last two weeks moving and settling in.

until next time.

lovenatalie and layla

there are things in life you plan for. there are things you can expect. and there are things that you work very hard for.

and then there are things, as we always know but don't always listen to, that just pop out of nowhere and smack you in the face.

it is the latter, that thing that just WHOP! smacked me, squashed me, dragged me a bit, and maybe kicked me a few more times, that brings me to where i am today, finally breathing with ease.

i say this with a smile, because in real life we always know that "this too shall pass" and everything is always changing.

so. to give a small summary.I am no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer.I finished my service last week. This also means that I am currently unemployed. In Spain.

my last month in Romania was this thing i mention, that pretty much beat me up.

it was tough. probably the one of the toughest moments in my life. a lot of biting my tongue, a lot of dealing with certain incompetencies, and a lot of turning a blind eye to things that where i grew up would definitely n.o.t. fly. on the whole.this probably makes me stronger. maybe puts me in my place (relevant to time and place)and maybe for someone else, helps them keep their composure. but in all honestyand sadly,i was quite relieved to leave Romania.

I really hate to say that. because on the whole... my two years were incredible. the relationships that i made, and will continue to cherish, were some of the most important in my life as of yet. and the places and things i saw in such a beautiful country,... those are things i was exceptionally sad to say goodbye to.

But other unforeseen events during my days of departure caused a lot of stress and i felt quite powerless and unhappy.

Although, I did spend some much needed and much appreciated time with two of the most important people in my life. yes yes, my mom and my dad.they also experienced some bumps in their Romanian travels, some of those "out of the blue, smack you in the face" things i mentioned earlier, but all in all we came through the rain and enjoyed what we could.. .and in the end, everything was sunny (both literally and figuratively speaking!)

pictures from our time well spent can be seen {HERE}

to sum up this vague and not very explicative entry of my life: i am a very lucky person, to have met and loved and been loved by those around me, wherever i may be. i am so blessed to have the support and love of my family, for the things i aspire to do.

so. thank you mom. thank you dad. thank you also to everyone in Romania. each of you are dear to me in your own special way. thank you for caring for me over the last two years, and thank you for helping me when i needed assistance. i hope everything i was able to do in Romania was in some way reciprocating all that was done for me.

xoxo all the best,natalie (and layla)

oh hi.

its june 2nd. it is pouring.and it is roughly 10degrees Celsius.

where is the warm sun and pleasant feeling of summer??!

anyway. yesterday was international children's day, so i thought i'd pay a tribute to my little darling nephew, whom i adore.

(we were on a brunch date, clearly)

school is almost over, this week, and then next week... next week will be a jumble of end-of-the-year-events/angry people/ students who have long ago checked out/ packing/ saying goodbyes.

at this moment i cannot tell you whether it will be more enjoyable or less enjoyable than it sounds.

but i'll take it all in stride!

again, did i mention that its june?what?mom and dad come to visit in 19 days. and i fly out of romania in 42 days.in 42 days at approx. 3pm, i will be in barcelona, to resettle for the next episode.

needless to say, the next month and a half will not be just lazy summer days.but instead, it will be full of paperwork, organizing, kennel training the dog (hah), re organizing, and repeat.

joy!xoxoall our lovenatalie and layla. ("nom nom i like grass")

something wicked this way comes.

May has been a hurricane of sorts.

not only has it more or less rained virtually every day non-stop, it is almost june and i have yet to actually spend a whole day in sandals (WHAT!!!?. my toes need air.), and events of updownturnaroundflipflopsmack.

much has happened during this hurricane, on equal parts of great importance and insignificance.

but after the month of may i have confidently concluded that some time spent living again amongst others, anonymously, is going to be one of the best "rewards" after these last two years.

this not to say that being recognized everywhere by people i had not even known existed doesn't have its perks...but this interim reality of mine is coming to a close, and some things never change.

and i am ready for a change.

these are from April 31st, it was a sunny, quite hot, and really pleasant day, and my last class is a great group of 8th graders.with their convincing pleas, they got me to go outside for the hour, sit on benches, and chit chat, whilst reading Dr. Seuss's book of ABC's (which I may add is endless amusement, no matter what age you are).

and yes, im either the same height or shorter than *most* of my students.

or, flash afternoon downpours in may make may flowers bloom better up on the hilltops.

or something like that.

:)before 2 or 3 pm, when it started to storm, I spent my morning wandering the hills picking flowers for the restaurant with mari

and can i just say that i absolutely love that JASMINE TREES are "peste tot" (everywhere) here, and for the last 2 weeks I have been basking in their scent!!!?! so wonderful.

anyway, here:

this one is from the hill i see out my window.

this one is from the other side of the river, looking the other way :)

its true :

When it rains, I only walk my dog in front of our block, because the road there has a sidewalk and is not an obstacle course of crater sized mud-ponds, as the back road so graciously provides. When it is maybe only just slightly sunny out, I open (all) the windows, because its bound to be warmer outside than in.My alarm still goes off at 5:30 every morning, even though Layla isn't a puppy anymore and doesn't need immediate AM potty walks.I have been through every season, twice, in Romania. In fact, summer will have a 3rd round.May means everyone is trying to finish things at school, but surprise days and test days (also like surprise days) obviously surface, where classes are let out early/don't happen at all. (not complaining).I have already started packing some things. my suitcase which I took down from the top of my wardrobe was disgustingly covered in a really unappetizing layer (or 2 or 3 or 4) of dust and soot accumulated over the past 2 years (and 2 wood-stove-heated-winters). I cleverly vacuumed off the dust. it was maybe a little too entertaining.

Layla has European citizenship. I don't.I have to pay money and fill out numerous forms to live for more than 3 months in Spain.Layla gets to go by the seat of her pants. i mean micro-chip. yes. she is now track-able. and clearly awesome.

My desk is covered in scattered post it notes, scraps of paper-notes, various reminders, lists, paperclips, letters, books, folders, schedules, files, envelopes, cords, and buttons?and every time I try to organize it, it only takes about 5 minutes before (at least) the papers have re-gained their previous positions next to the computer.

My mind works in overdrive, organizing still non-existent situations and solving hypothetical problems that have yet to arise.

I now legally can say I have no "police record" in Romania, with a 1/2 sheet of paper that has a few signatures and stamps, my name, home town, and birthday. a very good representation of 2+ weeks of work to obtain said document. all upon request of the Spanish Embassy in order to request a long-term visa.

I haven't read in a long time. I mean, anything, for pleasure. My brain can't focus, although that is probably what it needs most... such a nice escape from the pseudo problematic situations i have created for myself to resolve.

My school turned 105 years old this week.

I have an article in the school Magazine... the title?"Natalie".i laughed. (and breathed a sigh of relief that my name was not misspelled with a "y", as many students often do)

Thunder and Lightning have been key components of every day for the last week, but unlike Michigan, the air here is dry, and sometimes you can't even tell it rained, after 30 minutes, if the sun is out.

I spent last week and part of this week eating a lot of cabbage. i mean a lot.

aaaand, I have not left my little town for more than 4 weeks. Its been nice to stay and clean this little abode, organize my books, and shelves, clothes, papers and other various objects. I am not sure if this time at home looking at all of this "life" that I will have to pack up and take with me, or if it is the time spent realizing really how much work I have until I leave, that is making me go slightly insane.either way, I have been a bit off my rocker.

but outside its just beautiful. still the same postcard picturesque land that seems to not be real when looking from the window.

my favorite tree view: october 2009. february 2010. april 2010.

they say if you get far enough away, you'll be on your way back home. - tom waits

lizu & layla

the view just before layla and i were surrounded by 15 staring sheep.

out in the hills

soon she will be opening doors for herself too...:)

be well!xoxonatalie

its possible that i have a colleague, that i have heard referenced to as follows:"i think she thrives off of her anger. if something doesn't make her angry, its as if she is confused, so she finds something to get angry about. its what she lives off of"

this colleague may or may not exist.

that said.i am a person that consistently likes to make things difficult.not for anybody other than my self, of course, but its something i am very aware of.

if things get too easy, i create obstacles and extra work for myself, in order to feel that it is difficult, for the final result to be a real sort of accomplishment.

if something is actually difficult, stressful, or just work, i try to fix it all at once, to really the bull by the horns.

on this line of thought, i have made a decision for my next step. what comes next.after settling in to this quiet little snowy, cold, beautiful, forest filled mountain town of northeastern romania, after making a comfortable life for myself, dog and all, i will be turning a complete one-eighty.

come the end of july, i will be returning to the city that stole my heart four years ago. i will repeat: dog and all.to barcelona, spain, where i will be completing a masters in social/political science research in social demography.

(insert little jumpy dance with squeals here)

reality:it is weird to think i will be starting over, again.but in a place where i am already comfortable, and the sun is almost always shining.

getting everything in order, legally and financially to move to another european country... for myself and for canine friend, is a whooooole "exciting" adventure that requires lots of attention to detail and even more attention to correct paperwork.

my brain is functioning in 3 time zones, "present", EMT, and "future" simultaneously. i just have to remember not to count my chickens before they hatch.

and that every time i look out my little window toward the hillside, to really breathe in that sight, as it is... it really is, one of the most astonishing sights i will probably ever see.

we send our love! xoxonat & layla

another year spent holding a candle, and walking around a church three times, and standing for a few hours reflecting on the resurrection of Christ. this time in a small village, about 4 hours west of where I live, in a beautiful church (which was recently redone on the inside, so the colors were incredible) with freshly hatched chickens at home, homemade goodies, and happy grandparents, all in the family.

It wasn't until I was packing my bags..... in my own OCD way of rolling things up into a plastic bag which then is packed into my backpack/bag.. which in recent times has turned into organization of belongings between large freezer size zip-lock bags (one for underwear and socks, one for shirts, one for pants/pajamas) (it helps conserve space, fyi)...that i realized i really wanted home.

As I was anxious about bringing the right things to wear to church, to wear in the grandparents' village, etc (which in reality even I knew it didn't actually have much importance) ... it started to occur to me just how homesick I was at this very moment.

yeah, sure I was home last summer for my brother's wedding, it was a short, sweet, busy trip.

but its times that are not so significant, because they are so usual, like Easter, that I hadn't realized until then, I missed.

this was my second Easter spent in Romania. Spending a few (or more) hours in an Eastern Orthodox church, which is not my base of religion, listening to songs and biblical verses, which are not in my native language, surrounded by hoards of people practicing traditions which are not my own.

it hadn't actually hit me, that i would even miss a Catholic church service, maybe the Rock-Paper-Scissors games my brothers and I used to play hiding our hands behind the Pews, but even the repetitive "Christ has died Christ has risen Christ has come again" still rings in my head from days long gone. and i noticed this year, during the all-night service, i was trying to translate each thing to what part of Mass it correlated with in my previous experiences (this included translating the "Our Father" as it was recited...twice.)

but most of all, i realized i missed my family, and what we do for Easter.

Where I live in Romania, I have been VERY lucky to live in a region which is known for keeping their traditions. My friends who live in the next county over don't keep/practice the traditions that are observed in my town and surrounding villages. My students are so lucky to grow up with these things practiced in their very homes, as it is things other Romanians may only read about in their tradition and culture books in schools.

BUT, tradition or not, the simple fact of spending the time with your family, as you have done year after year, is what really counts, in the end. I don't need someone to continuously tell me that "Pasti aici e asa de frumos. Stii ce facem? Ai vazut? nu aveti ceva asa la voi..." ((Easter here is so beautiful. Do you know what we do? Have you seen? you don't have something like it in your country))because I know, I have seen it... and it is true, it is a beautiful thing. These are things I will keep with me for the rest of my life, I have little trinkets and pieces of tradition that will stay with me wherever I go. But it is not my tradition.

and after two years of not spending time at a table with my mom, dad, nonna, brothers, et al, it really hit me, just how much i cherish and miss these things. (even playing rock paper scissors in church, or hangman, if we had something to write on.... :> )

Okay, nostalgia just needed to come out.

Easter was beautiful, as one would expect!

xoxo lovenatalie (and layla)

In order to see birds its is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

escape.is necessary.if we will call it that.or just time.time to be with important people.

so. i found myself.in Sibiu.European Capital of Culture 2007.a little Germanic- old- saxon- town nestledin the heart of Transylvania

with cobblestones. nooks.crannies.and color.

life. was. good.

and so was sitting in an oldtraditionalsunflower-seed-oil-maker's house.old farts, goodness.

on wednesdays, from 12-1 i teach a class of 1st grade kids.

these little kids always do something out of the ordinary to either crack me up, or melt my heart.

today, the 3rd of march, was a melting day.

March 1st is a special day in Romania, as it is a celebration of Spring. people give each other little charms tied to red and white thread to represent love, health, and prosperity for the upcoming warm and happy season of Spring.

March 8th is kind of the equivalent to Mother's Day back home, but its more general... its Women's Day!and yes, folks, I am a woman (hear me roar).

So, my little kids today, while writing big A's and little a's and B's and circling pictures of things that have A sounds or B sounds (cat, bird, ant, ball) swinging their feet from their chairs, occasionally shouting "DOAMNA?! E BINE?!!!!" (mrs... is it good?!)caught me out of left field.

towards the end of the class, two little girls come running up to the front with an Orchid flower in a pot, more than half their height, and a gift bag with a box of chocolates equally as large, and just short of gracefully, shove it in my face with big toothy/toothless grins

"PRIMAVARA PLACUTA!!!" (happy/pleasant spring!) they squealed.

next, a boy comes sprinting out of his chair, saying FACE HAPPY FACE HAPPY and hands me an envelope with a little happy face charm tied to the symbolic red and white string.

it was just so cute and they were all so excited.

but better yet, as I was organizing my materials to leave, one of the little boys comes up to me, and slips a little rectangular paper in my hand.

(Draga DoamnaVa Iubesc Si Imi PlaceLimba Engleza)

DEAR MRS.I LOVE YOUAND I LIKEENGLISH LANGUAGE(in the note, its cute because he writes his "c"'s backwards)

aside from the fact that its now dumping snow outside again, and fire-making season is still in full swing,

there are much better things in life.and these are just a few of them.

xoxoHappy Spring to all of you!

-nat

...happy spring?!

February is ending. March is beginning.

As every day ends, and night begins, weeks end, and begin, seasons, years, what-have-you.i can't help but relate it to the Indian / Hindu idea of Samsara. ( Samsara is derived from "to flow together", to go or pass through states, to wander between life and death, The concept of samsara is closely associated with the belief that one continues to be born and reborn in various realms)

I, typically, find this idea quite fitting. because with the way my experiences have worked themselves out (with effort or simply due to circumstance) I have found myself witness to many circles of life and death and the in between... to which we (consciously and unconsciously) continuously keep ourselves connected.

(this is a relatively pensive post, just an fyi. there are footnotes, however irrelevant they may be)

I have been talking to my mom [and dad if he is home too] much more frequently these days. Partially due to the fact that, as I have come to realize, I really am quite "homesick"1

But this has also allowed for much more casual conversation. Not the "we haven't talked in weeks, fill me in on life" type of jumbo that happens a lot, and is quite tiring. But the kind of conversations we would be having if I, for example, were living in Boston, or somewhere in the Pacific NW, and couldn't be home every day.

All of this is leading up to the fact that mom and I were talking about 'i dont remember what' and the following comment came out, with a bit of an apprehensive 2 chuckle.(Something dad had said, in reference to me.)

"She is just spinning, we are just waiting for her to land"

This is so very true on so many different levels.my head is spinning because I don't even know what language I am thinking in.my mind is tired of spinning while planning for tomorrow as well as what will happen after the 14th of July.my feet are spinning as I jump over puddles and try to keep layla at least a wee bit dry on the mud covered roads out there.my stomach is spinning because i wonder if everything i have now will still be mine next year this time.

spinning is tiring sometimes, but landing isn't a sure thing just yet. there are some things I have to, and want to, finish. and when they are done... then i can land.

I have conditioned myself to thrive in this kind of chaotic limbo of a whirlpool spiral. and the thought of getting out and sitting on the side is, among many things, scary and kind of permanent.

its a nice thought, spinning, because as one floats down the river, sitting on a tube, its impossible to keep it going straight, and sometimes you get stuck on reeds or rocks, and sometimes you bounce back and forth off of the banks, but you keep going, slower or faster depending on the current, and sometimes you're going so fast and backwards that you can barely do anything but hold on and wait for the next bump, and sometimes you're going so slow that you can only hope for a little pick-up in pace. and when the river ends, you then find yourself in a big body of water, still spinning, because the tide keeps changing, and the waves keep pushing you (or pulling you) to and from the shoreline.

¿Es el arroyito el que se pierde en el mar o el mar en el arroyito? Lo mismo da. - Miguel de Unamuno 3

all my love and happy spinsxoxonatalie(and layla)

1- [exemplu= (mid conversation about irrelevant things here in Romania, I am struck by something that takes me back over the ocean in the snow banks of my Long Lake home, or on the sand dunes between North Bar Lake and Lake Michigan... climbing the Devil's Pitchfork every second Sunday in June - which, sadly, I missed out on in 2008 and 2009).] 2- for lack of better word.3- (Is it the stream that is lost in the sea? or the sea that is lost in the river? its all the same)

as my energy level, in general, is typically higher than that of the normal person, I was more than excited to embark on our winter mountain adventure.

7 of us had decided to trek up Rarau, the mountain peak accessible from my town. From the trailhead that works in winter (i.e. the "road"), its about a 14km hike. from my doorstep to this road, is another 3 km or so.

so on a sunny, warm-ish Saturday, we strapped on our Yak-Trax, our back packs, and warm winter layers to climb the icy roads and slushy trails that would lead us to the top.Layla came too.

lucky for us, Saturday was sunny and amazing as could be, with warm air currents and little fog. We even hopped on a horse drawn sleigh for a short bit to add to our general excitement.

Wet feet, however, was quite a problem. But thats an entirely different story for the hike back down!

So the way down, somehow proved that even cold temperatures can't keep mountains from melting, because the river that runs along the road, and the road were in tune with their appearance.water was flowing down both of them at similar speeds and similar quantities.needless to say after 14km, I was wet, squishy, muddy, and chilled up to my knees.

But, thats little to suffer for the enjoyment of nature. and the dispose of a bit of energy which i so typically have in excess.

the days are longer, a bit sunnier, and wet. the nights are still frozen and cold.but its almost March, and March is closer to April, and all of this is Spring.

xoxo take care !

(the rest of the pictures can be seen HEEEEREEEE!)

so.many people abide by the generic unwritten somehow engrained rule of "getting a haircut once a month or once every two months" to keep one's ends fresh.

I on the other handrarely ever get a hair cut. even at home... i always had a friend who did it. in university, a girl I ran with on the Cross-Country team was also a cosmetologist and she always did our hair.then a girl I lived with cut hair.then a girl I moved to Romania with was a seasoned hair- cutt-erand then I just took to doing it myself.

so. its probably been more than 3 years.or 4since I have actually gone.sat.and had my hair really really

.."done"

um.fabulous!

i found this quite important and I thought you all should know.

it is now february.

i am somewhat shocked to look at my calendar, realize its not january, and have to take it down from the wall, flip the page, and look at the month of ...february.

I am currently wasting my last day of "semester vacation" which is just another vacation in the Romanian school system, 3 weeks after Christmas break, after the 1st semester comes to a close, and one week of "relaxing", or for most of my students, lessons, practice, extra homework etc before the 2nd semester begins.

First Semester (and January) ended quite pleasantly. Maybe a bit frozen, but pleasant. After the funky schedule of extra-long-winter-vacation-due-to-lack-of-money-in-the-education-system-budget, I spent the last few weeks reviewing and trying to pick up old material and giving some progress evaluation of sorts.

lucky for us here in these mountain parts, it was also some of the coldest weather experienced in years.there were days where it never got warmer than -22C, and some nights were as cold as -30C, which converts to -22F roughly. fantastic, no?

You bet your little (whatever you want to bet) that I kept myself holed up, made serious amounts of fire, and spent nights in my tomb... ahem i mean my apartment which without doors requires makeshift equivalents.... the "arch" to my bedroom from the middle room is closed by a spare mattress when night time comes, and my entry door way, which has a very serious and not very pleasant draft coming through from all parts is now also sharing its space with the protection of a think forest green and red striped blanket. during these chilly times, layla took to crawling into my bed. STYLE. is my apartment.

On a more exciting note, I have had the opportunity to do a bit of wandering, due to the people I am close to here. On one of the coldest days (but also the day with the brightest sunlight earth has seen) we went a little to the north and a little to the east to see the mountains. These pictures are all taken from Prislop Pass (Pasul Prislop) from the Rodnei Mountains (Muntii Rodnei) which are located a bit north-east of where I live, just out of Suceava County, and in Maramures County .The views were just spectacular, and the white-crested peaks were absolutely astounding. I want to see them again.

it was also around this time, these sunny, but -25C give or take 1 or 2 degrees, that I took these pictures from around my town:

coming down from the hill in town out back, towards the mountains, a new house

the street behind my house and school the view from my balcony one morning :)

I hope all is well, wherever you may find yourself in the world.Winter has not taken a rest yet, as it is snowing and frigid yet again, but we (layla and i)are still kickin over here in Romania !lots of lovexoxo Natalie

So this year I have been teaching a 1st grade class once a week. They are absolutely adorable and have the ability to just make your heart all warm when they do their little rhymes and dances.

That said, as I was putting on my jacket last Wednesday, after class, one of my little girls, Sorana, comes up, all ready to go home. Her pink jacket zipped up to her chin, her scarf tied around her neck, her backpack trying to stay on over her extra puffy coat.

she looks up at me with very curious eyes:

"Doamna... staţi aici? sau mergeţi în America în fiecare zi?"

Translation?

"Misses... do you live here? or do you go back to America every day?"

she was so serious about her question, it was a clear reminder of the honest and pure innocence of children.

I chuckled, and explained that America is very far away, almost one entire day of traveling by trains and planes to get there, so I live here, in our town. She was very intrigued.

That very moment was and will probably be one of my favorites, for a very, very long time...

Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha

This is, or should be, something everyone bears in mind. but, it somehow gets lost in translation and shuffled through pages and forgotten. especially in places where the level of respect (or schmoozing, if i may go that far), however false it may be, is the first and most important part of functioning in society.

I would never tell my students to doubt me, but i hope they would question me if need be.

this is just referring back to an old post where I wrote about the importance of QUESTIONING things... all along those same lines.

just a note. food for thought.

hope all is well. happy happy 2010.

ten years ago, i rode an inflatable tube down the big sledding hill across the street from my parents house, hand in hand with jessica clark. we were 13. and everyone laughingly watched from the top of the hill to see if the lights we could see of the city would suddenly shut off because of they y2k frenzy. we didnt care, we had a bon fire, winter clothes, and much more sledding to take care of.

obviously, nothing happened, but we did see the fireworks from the city bursting over the tree tops.

its a nice sight from there. hopefully ill be back there one of these years in the near future to do the same thing.

as some things really never change as the years go by.

as dall'olmo sledding parties are timeless gems....

Happy New Year, all.

soon-ishly i will also post something about my new years experience (which was 3 days and 2 nights of endless dancing and singing in the middle of the mountains in northern romania)

xoxo love

nat & layla

no no, its not christmas in "be clean", although i was able to take really nice showers, and i did find myself quite clean, but rather "beh-klay-ahn" try it! it comes... somehow... from the german/hungarian name of Bethlen- which is an ancient family name (originally one family member was a prince of Transylvania (1613-1629), duke of Opole (1622-1625) and leader of an anti-Habsburg insurrection in the Habsburg Royal Hungary. His last armed intervention in 1626 was part of theThirty Years' War. He led an active Protestant-oriented foreign policy. and then eventually one from the Transylvanian noble family served as Prime Minister of Hungary until 1931- just for your history lesson)

BUT- im going to go ahead and say it also comes from Bethlehem JUST so I can say I spent Christmas in Bethlehem... okay? :)

anyway, my Christmas days were well spent, all in good company, and I was well fed, even among some of the greatest meat-eaters of our world!

I was graciously invited to spend the Christmas holidays with a friend of mine who currently resides in Cluj-Napoca. His family lives in the above mentioned town of Beclean, and that is where this story begins. although the story is going to be a picture book, just for ease and viewing pleasure!

Romanians have several traditions for Christmas, including what is called "la colindat" which would be.... "christmas caroling" which more or less means going with a group of friends or relatives to the home of another friend or relative, singing a song at the door, entering, and being served drinks, snacks, and meals galore. Then, sitting, eating, and chatting for short or long periods of time, only to move on to the next destination (be it friend or family) to do it again.

and this stretches out for all 3 days of Christmas, starting with the all-night-affair on the 24th-25th with friends, and extending until the 27th with day time or evening visits.

It is a time for family, friends, feeding, and resting... and mostly just enjoying and being around for everyone you know and love.

it all started with the christmas tree:

Marian, Vlad & I assembled it to pure magnificence.

work which also included tying dozens of candies to strings to hang on the branches and dicing veggies with mom

meeting old high school friendsmeeting family grandpas tractor

grandma & grandpa relaxing

and then back to my town, where I found a winter wonderland!

and tomorrow I am off to prepare for the New Year, which will be spent with some wonderful company.

I hope all is well, wherever we may find you in the world

Layla and I send you our love, and best wishes for the New Year.

xoxo-

Nat

again, as usual, time has left me in the middle of several ends which i have yet to connect.

and as usual, 23473000 things have happened with only few words to say.

the Model UN in Iasi was wonderful. my students overall really enjoyed the experience. it was unlike any other they have had... and may have for some time.

then the terrible month of november ended with still terrible-ness

and december started with a heavy head but a light heart.

only because i knew i would only have to teach one and a half weeks of school.

and december has, thankfully, proven to be lightyears beyond lightyears better. win some you lose some :)

so the last week of school was spent preparing a quick christmas pageant for the school this afternoon.

which, i might add, was adorable.

Because of the economy and several other teacher union issues i either dont know enough about or have one side of information to go into detail.... all employees of the Ministry of Education (school system) must take a certain amount of mandatory vacation days this year. all of which are unpaid.

and wisely, they lumped them all together to give us all an extra week of winter break.

so here i sit, cold, sniffly, bundled... realizing that already one week of vacation has passed. next week is christmas.

what on earth have i been doing with my time since the end of november?

all in all, aside from the unbearable cold temperatures of the last week which have holed me up with a mattress in the doorway to my room to keep in heat, things couldnt be much better at current moment than they already are.

just take a peek:

(yes, this is a pig below. iiick)

students/school Christmas things:



winter. <3

i live in an incredible place.

coffee shops!

tea shops!

snow!!!



and singing birds on a wire, of course.

happy winter. merry holidays. warm season greetings.

lots of love.

and hopes for good health and good company!

xoxo

natalie

I was writing in my calendar today, as i do almost every day... to record reminders, or write down things already done...

and it hit me just how much of an organized mess i have been this month.

what, you may wonder, caused this realization?

looking at the last week, there are so many things crossed out, arrowed to another day, re-written... and an appointment I was supposed to have with a student on Wednesday (which, I knew, and did maintain, I might add) was written with such certainty on Tuesday.

a small mental lapse indeed, still- i then took a look at the rest of the week, yet even more encompassing, the whole month and the beginning of December.. all i could do was shake my head.

Just to give you an idea of how.. "relaxed" I am- I have left my house every day this week at 7am.

and I have returned home to my cold, progressively less clean and cozy abode, at approximately 4pm.

every day.

all that is left to do at such an hour is to drop my bags and take my poor little girl out for a walk.

while the first 2 weeks of November tested me in different ways, then came a test of sanity, a test of strength, a test of reason, and every day brought yet another bundle of not so exciting news or another heap of expectations on my lap.

all of which i gladly accepted, obviously, because what else can you do in such situations but just

...SMILE & NOD....

(thanks for those simple life lessons mom & dad)

but one thing i have realized, poking my nose out for a breath of air from the pile of books and burdens in which i have found myself,

we, as humans, find in ourselves the entitlement to judge. the privilege, liberty, power etc.

simply because, upon finding in others that which we do not identify with, we allow ourselves to become separate.

this separateness supplies us with a basis for such judgment (whether for better or worse).

deep thought for your day.

as i forgot it was thanksgiving until Tuesday or so, i was only able to quickly make a bunch of turkey hands (like this )

with my 1st graders. which, i might add, just made my heart melt. happy thanksgiving?

Tomorrow we head to Iasi for the Model U.N. conference!

(my stress levels are clearly also increased due to my current responsibility of 4 young students for an entire weekend...)

Monday is Romanian National Holiday! (similar to 4th of July, but they dont do anything cool)

I want snow.

here are some stray dogs by my train station who have

seemingly made a nice home for themselves...





and the cat who decided to try to be my pet for a day



last weekend were presidential elections.

results were, as public opinion has allowed me to gather,

not so hot.

but it was close, so there is another election the 1st weekend of december.

here are some campaign posters.

and most importantly, i cherish the times i get to play with my nephew in 2d. our two-dimensional play dates are some of the most amazing times i could ever imagine. i love the little man. and he sure is precious. he is an incredible growing little human. and quite a handsome young fellow i might add.

love love and more love.

i am quite thankful. for these things i have in my life.

xoxo

natalie

September came and went. October too.

Currently I have found myself mid-november.

neck deep in hundreds of notebooks ranging from coherent stories written in English about the future, and how one of my students will be married to a banker with a baby boy named Richard, to lists of repeatedly erred sentences (such as: Esterday ai play footbal.)

ear deep with my Model United Nations students, with our training and preparations. We are Argentina, and I have one student representing each of the four committees (Political, Human Rights, Eco-Soc, and Environment) researching topics such as: Promotion of new and renewable sources of energy,

Reviewing the emissions trading procedure, as set out in Article 17 of the Kyoto Protocol, Ensuring ecological sustainability in times of economic crisis, The situation on the Korean peninsula, The prospect of aid in developing countries, Piracy in the high seas (Arabian Gulf, Somali Coasts, Indonesian Waters), Prevention of software and registered brands piracy, The role of women in developing democratic regimes in Muslim countries,

Control of the manufacture of, trafficking in and abuse of synthetic drugs, Measures for the Humanitarian Crisis in Zimbabwe,

Eradication of Contemporary Forms of Slavery, and Implementation of Human Rights Policies in what Concerns Refugees and Internally Displaced People – Focus on current situation in Sri Lanka.

As one would imagine, these topics are foreign to my students aside from maybe seeing a headline in the news... and the idea of serious research on history, background, and current situations is also a new process. so we have our work cut out for us. BUT we are enjoying our hours spent together each afternoon, and I am still SO excited for this opportunity with my students.

The US Ambassador to Romania will also be present at the conference, taking part in the Opening Ceremony as well as being present for a couple of days! How exciting for my students! (for more info on Model UN - Iasi, visit the link - http://iasimun.org/)

Now is also the time for submitting my applications to graduate schools on this side of the world. Which, as I have found, is both a stressful and enjoyable process. I like deadlines. I like having to work for myself again too. I like researching the things that stimulate my brain and remind me just how much I love what I study and what I do.

So, Needless to say, November is a month where my workload is quite, ahem, cumbersome. oh the joy of being BUSY once again!

it seems as though recently lots of events back home keep taking place one-after-the-other which are inconveniently timed in such a way that it adds and extra emotional strain to life around here. The fact that I physically cannot be home to be with those that I love and care deeply about.. those who are most important to me.. is a serious test of willpower.

This is what it means to really experience distance and separation. But, as always, time doesnt stop, so covered to my neck and ears in piles of work, I can only take the spare time to hope and mentally be with those I love.

Take care, each and every one of you. I hope health and happiness are with you all!

xoxo

love,

nat & layla

on a different note.

i scampered off to a city for the weekend.

where there were large sidewalks, cobblestone streets, coffee shops, tea houses, things to climb on, sushi, sunshine, leaves, colorful places, and even halloween etc.







lots of love to everyone

xoxo

nat

first. this has no particular rhyme or reason.

its funny.

if you think about it.

i have been gone since may19th2008. its november 2nd 2009.

in that time, i have gained a precious nephew, a beautiful sister-in-law, an amazing dog...

i have lost things too. earrings, socks, clothespins, mittens, passports(chewed.by.said.puppy), connections, dead skin.

but as you can see. those are just things.

and surely, as you are aware, i have actually gained far more than those three mentioned above. if i were to put it all into words. it would really seem improbable that one could truly find so much in so many places, in so many ways.

maybe it is absurd.

but the simple pleasures and blissful moments i seem to encounter on a daily basis leave no room for complaints. contentment is a sufficient enough word.

letters from home may be few and far between, as i have managed to keep close enough contact with my family (and my friends for the most part, but i am terrible at responding in a timely manner, i admit)

in fact letters from home rarely appear. in the hand-written form.

but the recent occurrence of my 23rd birthday brought a couple of things to my little dented and crooked slot of a mailbox which made my mind wander a bit.

The two pieces of Mail I am referring to are the birthday cards received from my Grandpa Ollie and my Nonna.

two people I love and cherish, and seem to have forgotten that time also passes for them as it does for me.

The words written inside their cards came from several directions, and may not have said anything specific in anyone elses mind. but i realized for the first time, that I am missing out on a different life.

not missing out in a way that one feels as though they are falling short of something, but literally, in the sense that i actually am not present.

my existence is relative.

at one point in my time spent here I had the conception that, although i love what i do here, and i love my surroundings, the people i have etc, it wasnt my reality... it had an ending, and i would then return to something that had been my reality and would continue in some way to be my real life.

but, really... that isnt my reality either. my absence has created a gap.

Aging is something I dont often think about. You see it. I see it. I see it in my kids, how they grew from the end of the school year in June and the beginning of another in September. How they have cognitively changed in numerous ways... how they've grown, voices have changed, teeth have moved, personalities have gone from left to right, up to down etc.

I have watched my nephew grow from freshlybornbaby to 7 month old squirmer. i have seen his eyes learn to focus and his hands learn to coordinate movement. i have seen him double in size (ish) and smile.

But in my grandparents, who have always been my grandparents... always done certain things that I had once considered to be "constants" in the equation of my previously defined reality...

somehow i forgot to take note of those changes, and in my absence, it has come to light in many different ways.

its a strange thing, growing older. each phase has its own intensity and visible degrees of change.

when autumn begins and the temperatures drop, we see the leaves curl up, lose their vibrant green color of life, and drop to the ground. but they dont die. not yet.

they transform, modify, adapt, to the new environment. creating a change in color, shape, texture, size and smell.

but its still beautiful

and every time the sun shines its a stunning sight to look out and see what is different; what you missed when it was cloudy.

thats what its like when i get a letter from nonna or gramps.

for a moment, i stop and smell the roses, dad. and for what its worth, i realize that there is no pause button.

funny story.

remember that indian summer?

well it just turned into winter.

no jokes about it.

snowed all night, it stuck. not just one of those first snows that doesnt hang around.

no no.

ive got the october snow blanket, another inch or so in the forcast today, and more for the rest of the week.

last year was rainy and cold and wet, but it didnt snow until november 8th.

this year was beautiful, colorful, and warm.

and it snowed october 13th.

i wonder what the weather will be like next week.

why i love this season:

leaves. sun. color. wind. color. leaves.

scarves, mittens,

the way the sunlight cuts through the trees,

afternoon shadows

crunch crunch crunch under your feet

the smell. (Fall smells the same in Romania)

(as in Michigan)

I love Fall. Autumn. October.

I love waking up in the morning and when I take Layla out for a walk,

i smell that strikingly familiar smell of leaves. and the night air is somehow

warmer than the morning air that doesnt appear until about 7am

i love the sunlight that comes through my windows, warming up my floors.

and the unbelievably vivid and vibrant colors that cover everything.

the trees, the sidewalks, the roads, the parks.

the leaves. are. just. beautiful.

I think here, I love it so much more, because it reminds me of home.

and this is something I now know:

growing up with all four seasons is really a blessing.

and who knew?

that when I round the corner on my typical afternoon trot with Layla,

the pile of leaves there that change in density, color, abundance, and pattern,

every day,

would have such a scent that really just puts me right out on my parents

driveway, next to the Japanese Maple tree,

in all the leaves that have fallen so far.

Autumn is just plain beautiful. and October, so far,

has been absolutely breathtaking. even the cold rain

doesnt make it any less stunning.

We have been lucky enough to have such beautiful sunny afternoons lately. sunny, warm, maybe even almost hot-ish

afternoons.

and playing in the leaves has obviously been a perk.

School is going well. I am now teaching the 1st grade as well as 5-8th grades.

obviously they are just adorable.

and i slaved away for 4 days making enough chocolate chip cookies (yes real ones with BROWN SUGAR!!!)

and carrot-apple-cinnamon cake to bring to school for my birthday.

and everyone enjoyed it



a happy october to you too!

xoxo

Getting ready for winter, the sun came out to play, to tease us for a day. stacking wood. juicing berries. reading books. hiking up hills. leaves are falling. some of my 6th graders handed me a whole stack of collected fall leaves, which I have obviously put in books to press them, so they will dry flat, and then i can be creative with them.

mom sent me a card the other day. it couldnt have been at a more prefect time when i found it in my mail-box. and my mom couldnt know me any better:



"She sometimes prefers the company of a dog"

now, something like this probably doesn't even exist as an idea for a greeting card here in Romania. but shes right. i feel like i should carry it around with me, just to prove that my dog is normal company. proof via greeting card. :)

xoxo love natalie

school started.

with the same un-known, unanswerable, unplan-able "schedule"

as last year.

but this year i knew that there werent answers. that it didnt matter if i knew what classes to go to, because no one did.

that being too prepared meant being disappointed when you walked through the door and the schedule had changed.

again.

and that catching up with last years 5th 6th and 7th graders, being this years 6th 7th and 8th graders, would really highlight my days, as they always surprise me with their perceptiveness... and that meeting my new batch of 5th graders would warm my heart all over again because kids can just do that, as they stare at you in awe and try to be on their best behavior the first time they meet you, and tell you they know you have a dog.

last year i was constantly stressed, not knowing anything from a day to day basis. this year, that unknown was relaxing. knowing i wouldnt have to jump from lazy summer days spent running and wandering and doing a whole lot of nothing would not be abruptly cut off into rigid 730am mornings and strict lesson plans.

while i do teach every day at 730 am... these first weeks are more exciting and even somehow relaxing, because some things, even the things that make you cringe, dont change. and that form of constant can be calming in more ways than one would realize.

when you expect chaos. it seems to be calm seas. and knowing how things function. or dont function. seems to make it all matter just a little less.

and i love working with these kids.

i really do.

in bullet points. since september 1st to now, i have

- had a good fellow volunteer friend visit with his high school friend from South Korea.. where i was able to get a little brain drain in, discussing things with an outsider with completely different life experiences but similar questions.

- went to the village "fair" in the nearby village, Vama, where a few of us danced to a romanian cover band, and rode a carnival ride called the Rocker (where i did fear for my life by the fact that not once was i left with the feeling that i was securely kept in my seat).

- spent hours in the park with my little "sister" throwing sticks for layla, eating popsicles, and reading books such as Corduroy the bear and the Very Hungry Caterpillar.

- finally built the 3d puzzle mom sent me for christmas last year, the Globe. which is now part of my slim but awesome classroom decorations (as i have spent the last 2 weeks creating and hanging maps/collages/phrases for my high ceiling-ed classroom with large empty walls)

- i have had some really great conversations with some of my colleagues at school, which has made me feel very good about life. the fact that i am not so unknown to them either this year makes it a more comfortable space. and the fact that we are able to share ideas, knowing as little or as much as we do about the other, keeps me going from day to day with the same optimism i have always had.

-my elderly male neighbors have become increasingly more concerned about the fact that i live alone.

not in the creepy "let me help you out" way. but more in the sense that they pity me for having to cook, clean, etc all by myself. but most importantly.. i walk my dog by myself. i dont have a male to be by my side. this is the most serious concern of all. the fact that i am without man in my life here. haha

my response? "what, so then i have to cook, clean, etc after him too??!" but its cute, they look out for me in their own little ways :)

pictures to go with the above mentioned briefs, or of where i live and why i love it:





and life goes on.

i miss my mom and my dad and my brother and my brother and my sister in law and my nephew.

and some days i remember specific things from home (asiago cheese and seedless grapes?!) which make me say "AH if only i had THAT!" in the sense that somehow it brings comfort. but i love things here. like i always love things everywhere.

and. as such. life is good.

lots of love,

nat