Now that the health class three months ahead of me has gone through the COS process and made their way out of the country, it’s starting to hit me that I’m next in line and I could even classify my departure as soon. Meanwhile, there are daily reminders that I’m still in Tanzania. For example, the last three days I’ve been mostly in my bed or the bathroom due to a digestive issue with my stomach making sounds I didn’t know it could. Regardless, preparing for the end is kind of a rushed process for our class, not by choice but by necessity. As I think I’ve said before, the powers of PC TZ have been searching to shift the program for a while but it was apparently granted just recently. This means the new education volunteers will swear in in about 17 days and if we wanted our sites replaced we had a two month minimum overlap with our replacements.

We can debate the merits and faults of this plan on from both the sides on this and believe me as volunteers we have…too many times! Basically it boils down to do you want someone to help you find your way in a new village or discover it for yourself and do you want someone around while you’re packing up to leave? In the end, it’s irrelevant because the whole duration of Peace Corps they have pounded into you the need to be flexible. From the start, you can’t even choose your country of service and if I got one choice in my entire service I’m pretty sure that would be the one I’d want. The funny thing is I wouldn’t be here and I would have made a mistake with that one choice. The beautiful thing about this process is that when control is taken from you you’re left with making the best of what you have. Well, what I have is magnificent and I couldn’t imagine myself elsewhere. Why do most people love their hometowns? Because they had to live with them for 5, 10, 20 years before they could go anywhere else. Anyway, to bring me back to the point, the overlap is what it is and you’ll see the positives and not realize the negatives are things you could have been without.

However, what it does do to my immediate future is severely limit the time I have left to do things. I will be traveling to COS conference next week and will miss a significant chunk of those days. It wouldn’t be as much of an issue except that I have a female replacement. This means, per PC policy, that I need alternative housing and since I want my replacement to actually stay for her two years, I think it’s best I’m the one living in said housing. It’s not all bad. This gives me an extra filter in which I get to cut stuff out of the trip home. I can be silly with my sentimentality and packing two months early is a good way to cut that out.

Otherwise, it seems my final two months will be devoted to arguably my biggest project of service. The health weekends, which we’ve raised an astonishing amount for (Thank You!), will happen in September and October. With the money raised, we can fund three full weekends, each impacting 500-700 students! As we currently have them planned, they are 3-day events covering a broad range of topics including nutrition and well-being, diabetes, mental health, and sexual health, including HIV and AIDS. I should qualify that and say that I’m certainly not taking point on this project but I hope to make a significant contribution beyond collection of the funds. My Kiswahili is not good enough to run the sessions but I’m going to make every effort to facilitate them as best I can. Documentation to come!

Alas, staring down the tunnel it has gone from just light to a definite world on the other side but I still have a ways to go. Hopefully there are fewer weekends like this one left in my future and I can enjoy the days to come. I’m going to do my best to document the weeks ahead as it should be a volatile time with constantly changing plans. The outline is exciting but we’ll see what happens!

It's been a ridiculously long break since my last post again and so I feel obligated to start out by saying I'm sorry...again. But to be fair the last 2 months has been surprisingly busy. For lack of a more interesting way to present the information, I'll just run through the events.

The second half of May was pretty much exclusively teaching time. It always works out that the first two to three months of class are the most consistent, productive class time that one has in the school year so it was good to dive in and get a chunk out of the way before things really took off. It was a little concerning how quickly I felt like I was exhausted of teaching however. I look at my teaching load and responsibilities here in country and it just baffles me how teachers in the states do what they do for as many hours a day as they do it. Yeah, teaching two classes the same thing is easier to prepare but it's just as tiring! Not to mention the extra work outside of class where you have to grade etc. Anyway, as with everything else, I'm much more grateful for our education system in the states having seen an alternative.

Things really started to pick up the first full week of June. I headed to Morogoro the first to attend what we call the Training of the Trainers, or TOT for short. PC loves their acronyms and you find that everything and everyone has some two to three letter combination used as a reference to speed up conversations. Anyway, TOT was a gathering of every person, volunteer, staff, or contracted help, to plan sessions for the incoming class of trainees (PCTs in case you were wondering). Each volunteer (PCV :P) had applied to facilitate various sessions during the training and so we spent most of the week refining our plans and trying to coordinate between sessions occurring other weeks.

I've always felt like I've done a good job of surrounding myself with people that are one step above me on the intellectual scale. If you look at my resume, I feel like it reads quite impressively but when I look at myself in the context of those around me, I often feel overshadowed. Things like TOT, highlight it the most for me. All these other amazing volunteers have really brilliant ideas for passing on important information and I'm left looking at relatively simplistic ideas presented in a boring way. Nevertheless, we finished the week with a solid product prepared for the new group when they arrived just more than a week after that.

The Saturday after closing TOT, I boarded a bus to head all the way back to Mbeya because the following Monday, I took 3 girls to our annual girls empowerment conference in Mbeya town. Each year, for the last 3 years, the volunteers in the Mbeya region have come together to plan and execute a girls empowerment conference that teaches young women in our communities life skills. We do some of the standard HIV and AIDS presentations, but we go beyond that also, encouraging girls to achieve the most out of their lives. We have successful women come in and give talks about their achievements and the decisions that got them there. We have sessions teaching about family planning and why waiting isn't just about sexual health. There's a session on self-defense where we teach the girls how to quickly get away from someone who may be about to assault them. All-in-all, it's a really fun time while still being a significant educational experience that teaches information that often does not filter down to students in Tanzania.

Every year there is a talent show and for the past 3 years the volunteers have made a production to put on stage alongside the girls' talents. This year we chose Waka Waka, the Shakira song that was created as the theme song to the World Cup in South Africa. I think the video is on youtube if you want to find it but it was one of my favorite moments as a volunteer. We choreographed only the first two verses of the song intentionally, partially because of time constraints and partially because we planned to include the girls, but after we did our portion of the dance we brought up the girls to dance with us on stage. It's clear to me now that that event was not just South Africa's but rather all of sub-Saharan Africa and since Waka Waka represents that event, it's also everyone's song. There was passion in that free-dance beyond what I could have expected and it was a really awesome moment of community. But that's what the arts and athletics can do, bring together two sides of the world and have them cheer in unity.

Following the girls conference was the one week of normalcy in the last 6 or so. I had to pull together my strength to actually teach for a full week. I thought it would be easy since I knew I was going to leave again soon but instead it turned out to be much harder. I just could not focus and it seemed to be a waste of time to put in the effort to make each lesson valuable. I did make it through the week (life is so hard, right?) which was followed by the A-level short break, a one week vacation.

I had already made plans to spend this week on a trip to visit Anna and Adrienne, health volunteers in my region, and so Saturday morning I packed up and rolled out to Mbeya to get the bus that would take me to their villages. Now, if I could have driven straight from my site to theirs it couldn't have been more that 50km, but because the roads are poor and the bus takes people to Mbeya, I had to travel the long way around by first traveling north out of my own valley to Mbeya and then south along the ridge to my west above my valley to get to their sites, probably a good 150-200km.

The week consisted mostly of getting to see the daily life of a health volunteer. There's somewhat of a disconnect sometimes between the lives of health and education volunteers at their respective sites. Education is very structured and we have things laid out for us where as health volunteers really have to develop their work on their own. Additionally, the houses of health volunteers are usually more spartan than those of education volunteers. Both have their benefits but the lifestyles are noticeably different. The differences in Mbeya are highlighted even more by the fact that the health volunteer sites are very village with no water, no electricity, and so forth, where as education volunteers live quite well compared to the majority of Tanzanians. We spent time playing lots of cards, exercising, and cooking in between seeing the various projects they worked on. We made lots of yummy food including two chocolate cakes...in two days.

We returned as a group and hiked Ngozi crater the following day. I think that was my 5th time doing the hike, but since it's such a nice hike, it just happens. Finally, after meeting up with additional friends, some PC, some not, we rented a car to travel to Matema Beach to celebrate the 4th of July. Again, I think this was my 5th time going to Matema Beach, but I could go 5 more times and not be satisfied, as it's the perfect mix of village and tourist all in one.

The group was fantastic and it could be split into smaller groups if that was more appropriate for the activity. There's little more to say than that it was as close to the quintessential beach party as you could get. We played baseball in the lake with my whiffle ball and bat (thanks mom!), relaxed in the sun and read a book every morning, and even roasted a pig on July 4th. So it was actually only half the pig but it was still legit. We dug a pit and lit a fire of coals below and then placed the pig on logs that were laid across the pit. Despite the set-up catching fire a couple times, we enjoyed a nice pile of delicious pig that night.

Finally, upon returning from Matema, I continued on to Morogoro to do the actual training of the new class. 39 volunteers make up the group of incoming trainees, however the big difference between this and years past, aside from the scheduling, is that almost half of the group is English teachers. Recently, Peace Corps did an impact study here in Tanzania and found that our single greatest contribution is English language education. I’m not sure if that’s what motivated the switch to English teachers with the new classes, however, it has become a focus one way or another. This resulted in the size of my math group being significantly smaller which is both nice for the short term and disappointing for longer term goals.

I facilitated three sessions to varying degrees of success. The first day we had a math session dealing with the culture of defeatism that most Tanzanians have when it comes to math. Since the day was running slowly, it was kind of tacked carelessly on and ended up getting significantly shortened, which made anything beyond general conversations a challenge. The second day, our morning session was on logical thinking and problem solving and it went much better. We analyzed our own analysis of a Sudoku puzzle in order to identify methods of problem solving and then took a list of methods and applied them to a form 1 (first year of secondary school) math problem. It was a really good session with lots of discussion on how to teach at the introductory level. Finally, the afternoon session was kind of wiped away unfortunately. The original topic of group work was addressed through various other sessions in the previous weeks so we considered trying a physics lab for those who were interested. However, due to some miscommunication we ended up learning how to read 4-figure math tables which are necessary for the first half of secondary school so not all was lost. After sessions, we all went to dinner together and had an enjoyable evening of drinks and pizza.

The next day I had intended to go to the bus stand and get on a bus for home, however, July 7th (Sabasaba or sevenseven for those translating) is a national holiday much like our labor day. Therefore, people travel everywhere and even with an entire fleet of buses heading southwest, I was not able to find a seat. I was able to buy a ticket for the following day, which I did, then returned to the training site. The afternoon was the time period where the trainees learn about the sports and games that are played in the schools and so it was an opportunity to get exercise, something I am always in need of here.

The next day was a rather uneventful day of traveling, which I have learned to consider a good thing. Eventful usually means bad and so the fact that I woke up at a normal hour and was in Tukuyu before sunset made it a very good travel day.

Now I’m teaching from now until COS conference and then with long break approaching who knows what I’ll do the last month. Hopefully blog a bit more perhaps? :P

The big news since my last post would be my selection to be a volunteer facilitator in the training of the new education class. It’s always nice to come full circle and be part of passing the torch on to the next group. I got to do it in college being a TA for the introductory meteorology course and now I get to do it again for a few days with the new volunteers. I think the training is a both necessary and important introduction to being a volunteer. It slows the culture shock down somewhat since it’s a shared experience with other Americans, allowing you the opportunity to learn about the cultural differences comfortably together. In addition to easing into the culture it offers time to prepare for your daily activities once you get to site. It’s already enough of a challenge to teach here when the your approach is fundamentally different than those you’re working with, so doing so without going through a bit of training would be nearly impossible. Anyway, I was chosen to assist the staff in the training and I’m thoroughly looking forward to it!

The garden project is continuing slowly. We dug our first few beds and planted them early on. However, a somewhat expected lack of organization has left this part untended and it is looking a little tired. However, after a week, the students chose to expand with their own efforts and raised a little money for seeds to create a second plot that is, for now, still bare. We’ll see how the space does as the next week or so continues and plants should start to grow in. Finally, the headmaster has committed the school to funding the purchase of seeds for growing cabbage. In the next few days, we’re hoping to set up a space to start our seeds and have them germinate and grow for a few weeks. After they are stronger, we’ll transplant them into the larger garden alongside the lettuce, carrots, and local spinach that we have already started.

On a different note, in the coming weeks Tanzania’s power supply is be severely impaired when one of the power plants goes offline for repairs. From what I have gathered, for about 8 days starting mid-week this week the power will be out from 8am until 11pm at night. I think power is one of the biggest things I take for granted in the United States. To some degree, I think the expectation for the power to be on at all times is justified in that we’ve built a system that can capably support the demand and we as consumers pay for each bit of electricity we receive. I suppose there are places where we don’t bear the full cost of the service but in general we get what we pay for. Here, simply getting on the grid can be a significant challenge and once you are, the reward is often too much demand for the supply available. It’s an interesting difference in perspective and a good example of how we adjust to what’s available. When you first arrive in country, power outages often endlessly annoy where as by the end, you have a system and power outages can be some of your most productive hours. Let’s hope that holds true this next week.

In non-Tanzanian news, I’ve been tracking the release of a study done by the Brookings Institution in D.C. It’s been ranking bus systems across the United States on their ability to serve transit dependents and especially if they can get them to their jobs. Somewhat shockingly, Wichita ranks in the upper half of the nation’s largest 100 metro areas by these metrics but I feel like anyone in the city would generally agree that our system is severely lacking. The Wichita Eagle is running a story this morning about the city hiring an advisor to identify citizens’ feelings on the issue and as gas soars towards $4 a gallon, I think an improved public transportation system is going to have significant support. I thought the end of the article had an interesting twist in that it brought forward the idea of a referendum for dedicated funding of the system and capital expansion. If that route should be taken, I think it’s important for the city to identify an endgame. Not just ask do you want to raise taxes for a better bus system, but do you want to raise taxes for THIS better bus system. Those of you who know me well know my passion for transportation and have seen its products, including my own ideas for an overhaul of the city’s transportation system. And while I have opinions on what improvements should be implemented, I would definitely support such an effort. I’m interested to hear what other Wichitans think and I’ll definitely be keeping tabs on the story.

It’s always a challenge to get myself to sit down for 30 minutes and hash out a blog post. I don’t really know why, since there’s not a whole lot of news to write and a few words are valid posts, but I can never seem to consistently do it. It makes me impressed to think about all the blogs I read on a regular basis where someone sits down to write meaningful work every few days, often with little to no monetary benefit but just to talk through ideas.

Anyway, here in Tanzania, things are starting to accelerate. I’ve begun work with a group of students to build and maintain a garden on the school grounds. We started small, digging about 4 beds and planting seeds for various leafy greens (although we’ll see if we had any success with the chickens picking at it for a week). We ran into a problem with miscommunication between myself and the headmaster in terms of what the goals of the group are, as he was disappointed with the size we started with. I wanted the students to show an ability to care for the food but it seems expansion is the priority at this point. When peace corps trains us in gardening methods, they obviously want us to pass those on to the Tanzanian people to spread awareness. However, it’s a battle for every volunteer to try and get the locals to listen to them when teaching because they will never see us as people who know how to farm. We don’t help the image by using the tools efficiently but still it’s frustrating when you have something you want to teach but no one who respects you on the subject enough to listen. I have a couple students beginning to show interest in the concepts so I think maybe I’ll teach a lesson or two on the side and make that a smaller part of the project as a whole. So from here on, I’m hoping to create a system that can be maintained through the constant turn-over that occurs from the school having students run the program. I think seeing something that functions through several leaders would be a big success, especially in this environment.

In other news, the fundraising is officially a go for the health weekends with the local teachers colleges. We had a gap in preparation due to my site mate returning to the states and the other volunteer we are working with needing to take some time off for a few weeks. However, we’re back in the planning stages and while I’m taking a more passive role with these conferences, it’s still exciting to see necessary education done on such a scale.

As for the girls’ empowerment conference, we’re approaching that time where we’re still far enough away to see it as the distant future but close enough to realize work should be started asap. I’m working with at least two other volunteers on putting together a nutrition education program for the girls. We’re finding we have little time to include it in the regular class schedule, so we’re doing our best to design some sort of entertainment teaching on the subject. Other than that, preparations like selecting girls and getting permission slips signed are time consuming necessities that always seem way harder to do that they should be.

I got asked in class today how I felt about the death of Osama Bin Laden. Given that it has been 10 years since 9/11 the response to it emotionally is lacking a bit. I certainly don’t feel like a New Yorker would feel but it’s not like it is lost on me what a horrific day that was. I’ve stood on those grounds before and after the attacks and one of my most unexpected virulent reactions was driving over a bridge in the city, on our way home after visiting Hannah at Wood’s Hole, and realizing that the towers really were gone. However, it was easy to give a sort of politically correct answer and shift the subject. I asked the student how he felt about it, given that before 9/11 Al Qaeda attacked Tanzanians in the American Embassy in Dar es Salaam. Yes it was an attack on the US and even on US soil technically, but the reality is, the attack killed Tanzanians. It was actually a good reminder of just how universal his hatred was for people unlike him. I think the student would have loved to ask more questions but we ran out of class time but it was still an interesting exchange, despite the fact that I’m certain the student was looking for some sort of jubilant response from me.

The school year has officially begun and after a week and a half of relatively frustrating progress I forsee at least another week of slow going before we truly get into the swing of things. Part of the problem is the schedule, which has been unfortunate at best. After returning to country, I had two weeks of nothing before the students returned to school. However, once they arrived, I had to leave for Dar es Salaam for a VAC (Volunteer Advisory Council) meeting for the remainder of the week. Now this week, the school has been struggling with rooms and the class schedule to get students where they need to be and following a consistent schedule. If that wasn’t enough, this year has Easter fall at the end of this week so we are not having class Friday for Good Friday and then Monday for Easter Monday (I always wondered what that day was on the calendar, now I still don’t know but it’s more relevant). The kicker is that the national holiday Union Day, which is always April 26th, falls on Tuesday, giving us a full 5 day weekend. Union Day is a celebration of the anniversary of the unification (surprise!) of TANganyika and ZANzibar. I assume ia was to make it sound more like a real country than Tanzan :P.

Going back for a second, the VAC meeting was a good experience. It’s the second one I have been a part of and it is an opportunity for the volunteers to send representatives to Dar to discuss issues with the PC administration. Often times it turns into a frustrating dialogue between volunteer representatives, who understand that an issue can’t be fixed easily or sometimes at all but have to pass on the complaint from another, and staff who want to put the issue to rest by giving a solid explanation. But usually, tucked in the discussion somewhere is legitimately important material that has to get passed along and does, although perhaps less effectively than we would like. The experience for me is a reminder that we are still a governmental organization and bureaucracy reigns. Many of the answers are carefully phased and things that could potentially allow us to be more flexible in our service aren’t feasible due to the amount of red tape implementation would have to cut through. Still, I think it’s a good opportunity to get volunteers an eye into the administration and bring the two onto the same page.

Back at school, my garden project has been given the official go ahead and we are looking to meet in the coming days to begin the project. I really haven’t ever seen the process of preparation for something like this through its entirety before. In the past, I have entered once the labor comes into the picture to set up and actually work a project. Now, I have to figure out where exactly we are building this garden, how fast it should grow, and who will be involved with each step. It’s a learning experience and having the critical decisions end with me is a situation I don’t think I’ve been in before. I want to include a few Tanzanians beyond my students in the project to expose them to the gardening methods. Yet, it’s not like I can just pass them through to the person who taught me. A volunteer’s responsibility is to distribute skills to the host country national, but up until now that didn’t really process as meaning I will sometimes be the end of the line for information. As we become independent, even in college, it seems as though we still have that net to fall into, be it professors in class or our parents for our home troubles. Obviously, it’s not like I’m out in the cold if I don’t succeed and failure results in some exposed dirt or a corner overgrown with weeds. It’s just dawning on me that the success and failure of this project begins and ends with me and what I have to offer today, which, on a small scale, is terrifyingly exciting.

Other than the garden project, I’m trying to ramp up to normal class operation. I decided to ease myself in with less intense activities that should hopefully stimulate the mind. It’s interesting to see the intellectual differences between our two cultures. I’m trying to make the students think about how to extract as much information as possible out of a word problem and then also exercise their ability to reason so I gave them logic puzzles out of a magazine that was left at my house. When I tried to offer it to the first class, the response was predictably one of confusion and disinterest. Tanzanians have this perception that there is a set list of things to do to study and be prepared for their exams and deviation from that method is a waste of time. I probably have complained about it before. But something that isn’t clearly part of the subject we are studying is definitely not something they see as a good use of brain power. Meanwhile, many people in the states seek out these kinds of problems, which is why my book exists in the first place. What is it about us that causes us to seek to stretch our abilities like that? I’m starting to understand the pessimism from people who operate here long term as the product of the lack of that desire, on the Tanzanians’ part, to improve oneself without reward. When we encounter Tanzanians who break that mold it’s exciting enough to be news for the next time we see other volunteers, the same way as if we saw an awesome sports play. But I suppose that’s our purpose as volunteers, to offer the new way of thinking and if anyone latches on we can support them in continuing with their development. In case anyone does, I have something like 150 logic puzzles at home!

Given that we’re at the end of a break, I find I have two options for things to talk about. I could discuss my break, which included a trip to the states as well as Matema Beach. However, I think it’s better to look to the future. Especially given that my remaining time here is shrinking incredibly fast. If you do the math, I have about a quarter of my time left, so in the spirit of the beginning of the baseball season, I'm rounding third. I kind of view it like my senior year of school. You have that one last go around where you’re both capable and in control. You can take the easy way out and coast through on easy classes, try to get a head start on future work, or you can acknowledge the opportunity sitting in front of you, which you are better qualified to take now more than any other time ever. I suppose if I was considering an extension, that experience could be the entire time beyond my two years of service I stay in country. However, I am blessed with a fantastic future back home and, as was proven to me on my break in the states, I will be ready to move on when my service ends. Therefore, to summarize what lies ahead I’ll go through my projects one-by-one with a goals list that I can reference on my way out of country. Teaching: My first priority has to be being an effective teacher. It has been a challenge fighting through materials that I was never fully comfortable with, however, I feel that I have a solid understanding of what concepts are beyond my ability to self-educate. Things like quality lab experiments and the higher ends of electromagnetism and circuitry are responsibilities I am hoping to share with someone who has taken the class before. I will see the results of my work with the first class in a few weeks when national exam scores are released. Hopefully, they will be positive. We shall see exactly how my work load turns out soon, once the schedule is set. It is possible I could return to a full-time math teacher which would bring in some more interesting and complex geometry and calculus work. Library: A major project of mine over time has been an upgrade to the library here at school and to say it hasn’t seen progress would be unfair. But it is equally unfair to imply that the library has been improved at all. It has moved from its small room in the back of a building to a series of four rooms, two recently constructed, in the front of the building. However, the books are still found in piles and boxes and are difficult to access for the students. The inability to use the library as a resource has not changed at all and its check out process still deters students. If work should continue on the building, I will actively get involved yet again and try to implement a system that is student friendly and effective. It’s possible this is a project that could extend beyond my time in Tanzania, as it wouldn’t be too hard to send books to the school in the future for use in the library. However, I have to see motivation on the part of the school administration to complete the project before I put significant effort into it. Gardening: I am still working through the preparatory processes of starting a garden project at the school. So far, a dedicated group of students has shown me they are willing to put in effort to maintain a garden and meet with me to work through the challenges we might face. The project still has to get a green light from the headmaster but I could see this being a success if for no other reason than that I would be in charge, cutting out bureaucracy, and we can start work immediately after approval. I also have counterparts that would be interested in this activity and be there when I am not, which is a sustainability factor that I haven’t been able to produce so far. Ministry of Water Cooperation: Recently, I’ve made a contact with a man in the Ministry of Water and Irrigation here in town. He currently works with a community education project on preserving the water resources here in the Rift Valley. Part of their work is to explain why we want to keep the watersheds clean and what actions are keeping them dirty. This affects everything from trash removal to farming techniques. In fact, it’s possible the garden and this project could merge into one if my friend finds the techniques useful in improving yields without fertilizer or farming immediately adjacent to the streams. Student Life Improvement Lectures: I gave my sleep lecture several months ago and I would consider it somewhat of a success. I think the information was taken to heart by some of the students who realized that sleep is as critical a part of succeeding in school as studying. I am working on a Time Management and Study Skills seminar currently, with plans for nutrition to be a third lecture that will hopefully coincide with the beginning of produce from the garden project. Conferences: Mbeya region has a Girls’ Empowerment Conference scheduled for June that I hope to participate with. While my role is more one of support than leadership, the function is quite large with upwards of 70 girls doing various events from education on appropriate social interactions, to goals planning, to health education. It is a fun week at camp for girls who might otherwise find themselves misguided and even taken advantage of in everyday society. Additionally, I’ve been working with a Scottish volunteer to put together a set of heath weekends that teach early college-age students simple heath facts that they may not otherwise learn. HIV and AIDS is a huge problem in Africa but it, along with malaria, can often overshadow other health issues to the point where they aren’t even considered, sadly, sometimes at the expense of a life. The health weekend would work to pass on information about issues such as diabetes and mental health that might otherwise be ignored to students in teachers’ colleges who could then further distribute the information to the classes they teach once they graduate. It’s interesting to compare my goals now to my goals just a year ago. I had just left my big training that occurs three months into service and had ideas for what I could do with the school. Those turned into focuses on the library and my Swahili skills, which, for better or worse, have fallen in the priorities list. I may not speak fantastic Swahili but I can get by, and the library has moved along at a snail’s pace. Yet, I think I can still accomplish a significant amount between now and my return to the states, even potentially starting new projects that could live beyond my time here. It’s both exciting and sad to think about the end, but my window is closing whether I like it or not. It’s time to make something of my two years here :P

When you start the process of going somewhere where you will live in a different culture they warn you about the cultural issues. Watch out for the wrong hand motions, always be aware of how you are presenting yourself, try to use their language, etc. However, what they don’t always succeed in explaining is that the differences extend beyond that, into the very core ideas of what is acceptable interaction between humans. I’m finding it hard to deal sometimes with the idea of respect as it is shown here in Tanzania. Some of the ways of showing respect in this country look to me a lot more like submission and servitude than respect.

I suppose first of all, I should apologize to my brothers, Erik and Samuel. Some of the things that drive me up the wall today are the very things I would do to them when we were younger. Not because I thought they needed to develop more respect for me as their big brother, or even that I wanted them to fear me, but rather I just exercised the power that being a larger human being gave me at the time. I remember both Mom and Hannah trying to explain the problem with what I was doing and really not processing that what I was doing was harmful both physically and psychologically. Now, I think at least, my mismanagement as a big brother has not permanently hurt our relationship as siblings but similar cycles I see developing here are causing this country issues.

For example, one big issue, that entirely stems from the culture, is this idea that with age you somehow earn respect from those younger than you, like somehow you have done more respect-worthy things by just having been breathing for longer. I’ve developed a rather rigid rubric for what earns respect in my eyes, but one of the most important characteristics of someone who deserves respect is that they respect others. I think if you look through human history, you find that those who fit this bill, are some of the most powerful people in their generation. Fear and brute strength will only keep things quiet for a time, as we are proving with current events in the Middle East. Look how quickly Gaddafi lost the support of other nations once he showed that he had no respect for his people. Not all people are good, and not all people should be given a pass or even forgiveness (although I would challenge the notion that we have the right to withhold that), but we compartmentalize too quickly. In our heads it flows “that person is a thief, therefore” when in reality we need to understand what lead to the person thieving. It may not change the fact that they need disciplined, but context matters. Respecting them as a fellow human being means offering them a chance to defend themselves. But, before I get lost on an ideological tangent, the relevance to this situation is that the interaction here between the young and old is not always one of earned respect but of expected respect.

A teacher will expect the students to bring them food during morning tea break by just pulling them away from their group of friends. The headmaster will call meetings and have no issues running into class time. I think I’ve complained here before that no one worries about anyone else’s time. But rather, it’s the totem pole. I’m higher than you. The teacher is higher than the student therefore; the student must do as the teacher asks. Never mind that the student may be a star performer and have listened intently during the class the teacher taught that day, fulfilling his or her side of the education agreement. No, that student should get the food, expending effort to make sure the food is of the highest quality available, not just what was on top, instead of using what may be an important break for their ability to perform at a high academic level. Or, for our other example, the headmaster is higher than the student, so he is more deserving of the teachers’ attention. That’s fine once in a while but weekly meetings about things that are not immediately important and take away from the students’ instruction time are a lack of respect for the students.

Another issue that I have come across is the actual physical badgering of those below them, at least in a school setting. The country still has corporal punishment as a discipline method and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m ok with that as a concept. Discipline given with respect and a sincere concern for improving the person is a good and necessary thing. However, corporal punishment is almost never followed as it is legally allowed and it often quickly loses its use as anything more than an oppressive display of power. One day recently, one of the worst abusers of corporal punishment walked along in front of me and I watched as kids retreated, even if only slightly, and cowered as he made slightly threatening moves with his stick. It was exactly the same response I get from animals in Tanzania who view any movement from a human as preceding some sort of beating. There is no respect there, only pure power, and that really bothers me. But what’s even more concerning is that those students see that power as what awaits them if they should become a teacher professionally. They earned the right to intimidate and abuse because they passed a certain level of school.

Now, I do want to address the fact that I seem to be dictating good and bad from my high American horse. I’m hesitant to actually address these issues outright because, as some of the teachers will tell you, it’s the way Tanzanians are. Taking away the system wouldn’t process as a shift in disciplinary methods but rather as a loss of enforcement. I recognize that I didn’t come to this country on some proselytizing mission devoted to instilling a system of best practices as compiled by Andrew Shook. I’m not here to fix everything, just to offer a little help, then leave. Additionally, I think the make love not war camp is just as far off base as the other end of the spectrum. Power that is fairly earned and exercised is something that should be preserved and fought for.

There is any number of reasons that humans do bad things to each other. We’re inherently sinful, we evolved under the context of survival of the fittest, or some people are just bad people. But being cognizant of when something is bad, and when it’s just out of cultural context can be a challenge. I do think there is an understanding between them that it is a discipline and respect issue, but it worries me that it clearly goes beyond that, and frequently. What to do about it is a never ending challenge for the Peace Corps volunteer, and an issue I hope to address soon.

I received a request to tell the tale of my arriving at site recently, so here is that story. I apologize if I have forgotten a few details you were interested in.

The day before heading to site is swearing in. For our event, we had a ceremony on the lawn at the US Ambassador’s residence in Dar es Salaam. It was a motivating ceremony as we were all gathered together to commit ourselves to service for 2 years and everyone is excited to see where they’re going. After the ceremony, which was on the day before Thanksgiving, we went to our Country Director’s house for a thanksgiving meal. At some point that evening, I think it dawned on us that we were not going to see the majority of our group members for a long time. We knew who are site mates are, so we know who we were going to be on the bus with. But the realization that it could be over a year before seeing friends you was kind of a difficult one. Not only because you’ve developed relationships but because you rely on them to help you deal with the challenges of living in another culture and it’s scary to see that support leg headed out the door.

The bus tickets were purchased so that we would sit next to our school’s representative, but given that we had met with these people just one time, it didn’t take us long to formulate a plan to sit together as volunteers. In retrospect, this seems kind of childish but at the time it seemed like a dramatic improvement on our situation. It’s funny how when you’re a kid you assume all those nerves and concerns go away as you grow. To some degree they do, but the reality is, put yourself in a challenging situation and you find they haven’t disappeared at all, they’re just lying dormant. Anyway, we ended up sitting as we were assigned and nothing went wrong...surprise!

When we started the day, we knew it was going to be a long drive…we just didn’t realize it was going to be THAT long. I still complain about the bus ride but the reality is that I can do it without much trouble now. I remember only a couple parts of the actual ride. I spent the entirety of my training in the northern half of the country, only leaving the Dar-Morogoro corridor twice; once on shadow to Kondoa and once on our trip to Mikumi National Park. Entering the southern highlands is rather impressive. You pass through the Mikumi area and then head up a big hill. From there on things get very hilly and you begin to careen along the side of ever increasing hills that become mountains with a massive river below you. Traveling at full speed and passing these massive buses is quite scary and it really doesn’t end, save one 15ish kilometer stretch of flat, until you’re just outside of Iringa. It was my first realization that there was something more to Tanzania than the semi-arid grassland in the middle of the country and the coastal plains of Dar. How little I knew!

I remember being disappointed I slept passed Iringa. I truly enjoy traveling through cities. I don’t know for sure why but I have always liked to see each place pass by instead of sitting on the same rural-looking highway passing around it. Knowing Iringa as I do now, you don’t go into the city so I hadn’t really missed much. Shortly after Iringa we hit a dog in the middle of the road. Considering the pack of dogs that had been there moments before, it was a surprisingly low mortality rate.

Nothing much of significance passed after that until coming into the Mbeya area. Given that I have a really good sense of direction and map memory, I didn’t fall into the trap of thinking I’d almost made it to Tukuyu but it was dusk and it served as a unfortunate reminder that I still had further to go. Just outside of the “suburb” (it’s really just all one massive conglomeration of urban poverty, just different names for different parts) of Uyole, the road climbs a mountain to get into our valley. I remember watching the headlights of the bus against the curves as we went down and around all these hills because by this time I couldn’t see anything else.

When we finally arrived in Tukuyu, I got off to a well-lit and relatively active bus stand and only did what I was told. Collect all my stuff, and put it into a cab. We were trained all of training that we have to be in charge of all our stuff or it will probably get stolen. In Ubungo, that may be true, but away from the biggest cities con artists and thieves are much harder to find. However, not knowing that at the time made me quite nervous. After we got everything into the cab, probably a 5-10 minute affair, we loaded ourselves and rode the perhaps 1-1.5 minute ride to my house. I think at the time it was probably the best approach given how much stuff I had, but that is the only time I have ever taken a cab for that trip.

My second master, who had accompanied me from Dar, brought me to the house and helped me get settled inside. It was a large space, considering at no point in my life had “my space” consisted of anything more than a bedroom. So naturally, I put my stuff in my bedroom and headed to the headmaster’s house for dinner. He was out of town for the night and I had only Mama and the kids to eat with. After dinner, I found my way home and went to sleep.

The next morning, I spent about 3 hours setting up some of my house, specifically my bedroom, finding what was in the room that had been locked and generally rearranging until I felt like it was a least slightly my house. About the time I was ready to relax, I got a call from Theo, who realized he had no food or things to do in his house. He found his way into town, an hour and a half long affair, and we started to figure out what was where. We found lunch at a restaurant that has since become one of our mainstays and began shopping for both food and home items in the market.

Of course, we didn’t get everything in those first few days and the process of outfitting a home continued for several weeks. Now however, everything seems to have happened right away but it was a process that took time and planning. My house is very much mine now, even though wall decorations are scant, and those that exist are not mine. I’ve adjusted the arrangement of things several times but that’s part of who I am. It’s all a matter of perspective of course, but now the process of arriving seems like a small step in the process, but it absolutely was a massive shock to my self-comfort as I had never been so alone before. Actually, I doubt I’ll ever face such a substantial challenge alone again….Interesting. :)

I suppose I should apologize for my extended blogging absence. While I recognize that I can obviously write when I want, I do know some people use my blog as a way to keep tabs on me, so I’ll try to improve my frequency here in the coming weeks.

I suppose I should first start with an update on the recent events here in Tanzania. For Christmas, I was blessed with a visit from my family for the holiday season. Yes, that’s right, Mom traveled across the world! How’s that for a Christmas gift!? Overcoming lifelong fears to visit means quite a bit!

Anyway, they arrived on December 23rd into Dar es Salaam, with the those coming from America arriving quite late. I was fortunate enough to have some Peace Corps friends who were able to reserve them rooms at a hotel as well as get bus tickets for the morning. Now, I have to admit, if you ask any volunteer here in Tanzania they would tell you they would be concerned with family trying to navigate Dar alone and I was quite concerned something would go wrong. However, fortunately, everything seemed to go according to plan and everyone found their way onto the correct bus in their seats when the bus pulled out of Ubungo, the main bus stand, which is probably the most hectic and stressful place I’ve encountered in country.

After experiencing the 14 hour bus ride that brings you from Dar es Salaam to Tukuyu the family disembarked only a short walk from my house. Once we reached the house, I served the dinner I had hastily cooked during a miscommunication, thinking they were an hour and a half closer than was actually true.

The next morning was Christmas day and we shared presents. Hannah and James brought their gifts from the first leg of their trip in India and everyone else brought gifts from home. It was really nice to have a true family Christmas, even if the only decoration in the room was the one Christmas stocking I found in the house when I moved in.

It’s amazing how quickly you fall back into family time together. While some people that unfortunately means the standard family bickering but for us, it is a well developed sense of family and togetherness, honed on month long road trips together in The Old Green Van (I’m starting to understand why you wanted a family picture with it Dad :P). It was a lovely morning, complete with a wildly out-of-place rendition of I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.

We also did a tour of my school, walking around to see where I operate on a daily basis. It was nice to show the family what I do here. While I know all my work can be idolized and sound great, it is cool to be able to show that my daily life is not all that different from any other high school teacher’s. The system is different and but the reality is, I work in a school much like any other teacher. The difference is, I’m (trying!) to do more than teach. I showed the family my library project, in its eternal state of being worked on and hopefully now they can visualize where my garden project happens, if it gets approved.

Over the next two days we did traveling around the Tukuyu area. This valley is quite blessed in terms of its natural wonders which to see. We went to Ngozi Crater Lake the day after Christmas and then Kaparogwe Waterfall the next. Since I’ve spent time describing these two places before, I’m going to move on for now (with pictures of course).

The last day was an unexpected one. We had initially intended to go to Mikumi National Park but through some planning errors we tried to get a bus ticket too late and were forced to wait a day, cutting out the Mikumi trip. That day we spent in town again, with the family choosing their cloth to be made into Tanzanian clothes. After choosing their cloth of choice, we all went to the tailor to be measured. While we continued on our trip, the clothing was sewn and I have since picked them up. They’ll be taking about half my bag on the way home, but I’m excited to see if they like them.

The following day was that bus ride again. It’s always too long. It’s always tiring. And when going to Dar, the end is always sweat-inducing. We finally got to Dar in the evening of the 30th. I had a surprisingly good experience negotiating the cab, as we were too many for a real one, so we got a pickup truck to take us in. Once settled at the YMCA we walked around looking for a recommended restaurant, Snoopy’s. They have fantastic pizza and ice cream and so when you next find yourself in Dar…

The following day was business and good-byes. Hannah and James left for the airport in the early afternoon to head back home. After setting up a few travel related issues for the next week with Dad, the rest of us went to the airport after dinner to see Mom and Erik off as well.

The next morning, Dad, Samuel, and I headed out on the dala dalas to get to the ferry boat that would take us to Mafia Island. I’m glad they got to experience both the Dar bus and the standard mini-van dala. Now they see what we travel on usually: no personal space and even less comfort :P But you get used to it and eventually a ride is a ride. The dala dropped us off within sight of our boat and after acquiring some drinking water we jumped aboard the ferry, which is really just a large fishing boat with some 40-50 people packing the deck. It was a relatively pleasant ride out the mouth of the Rufiji and across the ocean to the island. After the ferry stopped well off-shore we hopped into a smaller boat for the ride to the shore…or so we thought. We still got to walk a good 500 feet in the water although it never was deeper than thigh-high. Our guesthouse manager picked us up at the port and drove us across the island to the guesthouse, where we prepared for festivities, as this was December 31st. However, we did not succeed in lasting until midnight as our previous late night at the airport caught up with us.

The next day we spent the afternoon snorkeling in the southeastern bay of the island. There are many coral outcroppings and all the fish imaginable to go with them. If I could have only shown one picture from this whole trip it probably would have been the scene from when I was paddling amongst a school of some of the most colorful fish I have a ever seen. Unfortunately, I have no underwater camera equipment and I’ll have to keep the memory in my mind but it was one of those experiences you can never forget. I had a little bit of a mishap however. I put on sunscreen as we were walking to the shore and the boat. However, I waited till we were on the boat to apply my sunscreen under what my shirt had been covering….then I took it off and jumped in the water. Baaaaaad idea.

The next day we went swimming with the whale sharks on the other side of the island. Again, the pictures do not give the full picture but you can kind of see what it was like. After jumping into the water as one would swim by and losing it almost immediately for an hour, we returned to shore and the guesthouse.

The next day we traveled across the island one last time to the tiny airstrip in the main town. There, our 6-seat aircraft awaited to take us to Dar. It is by far the smallest aircraft I’ve ever flown in but it was an enjoyable experience and I never felt concerned, which was a little surprising. We switched terminals at the airport, from charter flights to commercial flights, to catch our Precision Air flight to Zanzibar. Clocking in at less than 20 minutes we stepped off to find our cabbie waiting for us. Now, we picked these destinations off of recommendations and so it was logical to do the same for our lodging. We reserved a room at an inn on the island with the same method but were surprised when the cab turned away from the old Stonetown and headed off into the countryside. We drove for over an hour before we came to a beachside resort on the complete opposite side of the island. Oops. It was actually a lovely place and if I were traveling to stay somewhere isolated for a few days, it would have been perfect. But for us who were looking for a base of operations for Zanzibar’s offerings, it was not ideal.

The next day we went back into town and met up with friends of mine who were also vacationing on the island. We saw an Anglican (I think) church built on the site of an Arab-run slave trade market and went to a museum about the history of the island. In the evening, we ate at a fresh fish market which was quite the tourist draw; although that did not negatively impact the quality of our Zanzibar pizzas.

Our last day on the island was spent doing a spice tour, which consisted of seeing each plant as it would grow in the wild, and a full lunch made with the same spices. The tour took the better part of the day but we returned to Stonetown in time to eat at Freddy Mercury’s, a beachside restaurant celebrating (I guess that’s what you would call hanging up lots of pictures and using the name) the Zanzibar native.

The following morning, we were able to rearrange our flights back to Dar to allow us to leave in the morning. We actually made the switch within 2 hours of our scheduled departure and still made it with plenty of time to spare, although we were assisted by a half-hour delay. Arriving back in Dar spent the day at the YMCA, introducing Dad and Samuel to my fellow volunteers who were in Dar before our conference. That evening, Dad and Samuel went to the airport for their return flight to the states. I stayed in Dar for the next week for my Mid-Service Conference before returning to site.

My sunburn developed into a subplot of the second week and actually even the weeks beyond. That’s what happens when you jump into the water immediately and then swim around for over 2 hours. I could tell when I was in the water that I was burning, as it already hurt halfway through the second snorkeling session. However being in the water was soothing and made it tolerable, which combined with strong direct sunlight made for a horrific burn. The first two days when we were on Mafia Island and traveling to Zanzibar my back hurt but it was not more than a bad sunburn. By the first full day on Zanzibar I had developed blisters in clusters all over my back with some being as large as my pinky finger. Over the next three to four days the blisters went through a cycle of seeping empty and refilling. Finally, my back started to peel a full 7 days after the initial burn. It was thick moist sheets of skin that pulled off with ease, although that did not improve the color or pain of my back. In about 24 hours the majority of my back lost a rather thick layer of skin and that night I felt what I remember seeing in Erik just before he went to immediate care during his horrible sunburn a few summers ago.

Remembering watching that and what happened was actually quite comforting because without it I wouldn’t have been so sure it would pass. It’s not unbearable pain. By itself it’s tolerable, but it’s mixed with this intense itching that goes straight to your head and drives you crazy. I felt fortunate I was in my room alone because I must have looked crazy. I paced back and forth and made noise to try to deal with the sensation but it would not go away, even with pain reliever. After about 30 minutes, I decided to take a shower. The water immediately helped but after a few minutes it began to actually increase the intensity, so I shut off the water, which also initially helped but slowly increased the pain. So I ended up alternating between showering and standing in the shower with the water off for another 30 minutes. Finally when I went back to my room, I was able to tolerate it as long as I didn’t move my back. This allowed me just enough relief to fall asleep for the night.

Over the next couple days, the skin, which I think was way too freshly exposed to air, began to harden and become more tolerable. By this time, our meetings in Dar had begun. I began to peel a second time but also, certain parts of my skin began to develop massive welts that were painful all their own. Eventually they all started to show these solid, scab-like covers at the top and continued to grow. I finally decided to go visit the medical officer the last day of our meeting and he diagnosed them as some sort of infectious reaction to the sunburn. He cleaned out the worst of them and gave me antibiotics (it seems I can’t even escape amoxicillin, even in Africa) to speed the recovery. After returning to site I continued to take the medicine and clean the wounds every day. Over time each of the welts began to either burst or just ooze puss. The two biggest welts were last and most disgusting of all. When they finally broke open, the infectious material was not some liquid that would ooze out. It was a rubbery ball that was attached to the inside of the welt. As I cleaned the wounds they would expel more of the material and I eventually pulled it out but severing what appeared to be a root into my back.

During the next month, these rather large divots in my back slowly began to fill in and heal and today I have scabs over the two worst spots but nothing more. It’s hard for me to tell if I scarred because of my vantage point but I think it has actually healed quite effectively. Still, having a burn affect my life for over a month has been an interesting experience. Needless to say, I’m going to do a better job with sunscreen next time :P

Part of the whole cultural exchange process in Tanzania is learning how to deal with situations where you feel wronged a addressing those appropriately. One of the prevailing issues in this country, and something I believe is holding back the nation as a whole is a sense of responsibility. No one will fess up to their actions and a large number take advantage of a situation where they can get away with doing something wrong that helps them. Ok, so maybe that generalization can be made to America too but it doesn’t change the fact that it is wildly frustrating. Little things go missing here and there and no one sees it as a problem, until it’s someone else who gets caught. They complain about corruption in the government but don’t see taking a pen as equal. Now, I am in no way free of blame but I think my track record is pretty positive. I also could be looking at this through an unrepresentative view. I am white and I am perceived to be well off. I do have nice things which slants their assumptions towards me being able to afford to replace what they take. But on a week where I’m trying to live off of less than 5,000 shillings (that’s $3.33 for those keeping track in the states) I find it incredibly frustrating to learn I’ve lost probably 4 meals worth of rice and my next two weeks worth of TP. So maybe some of this is my fault for coming here with a relative abundance of clothes and a computer, but the principle remains the same.

You can always question whether there should be disparity in income across the world and how I, as a member of the richest country in the world, have any right to tell these people what is mine should not also be theirs. But that’s a philosophical question far beyond the scope of me being here. The reality is, despite the poor economy, I could be making many many times what the people here are making. I chose to sacrifice that income to come here and try to help the situation, to pass on knowledge that can help them improve their situation. In a way, I feel abused. Not only are they taking my good will, they’re also taking what I use to support myself, allowing me to give what I can. Now, in the grand scheme of things, what I have lost this week is limited in importance at best, but the timing was not ideal. I’ll survive because, in reality, I can borrow a little, change some dollars, do any number of things that wouldn’t necessarily be a viable option for a struggling Tanzanian. However, I just want to be appreciated, and that was the exact opposite of the feeling I got upon returning.

Not only did the missing materials bother me, the first thing my headmaster said upon seeing me is “why haven’t we seen you?” Now, I recognize that Tanzanian culture expects you to stop by and say hello after a trip, but I was tired (and I have to grade tests too). But the tone of his voice was not one of “oh we missed you!” it was one of reprimand. That just adds insult to injury. I’m fairly sure the expectation was that I came to say I was back and tell them about my trip. Tanzanians will tell you oh, we’re in Africa or this isn’t America like that somehow changes the fact that I am a foreigner. The hypocrisy of their expectation of me to not be myself in their country when they’ve never had to live in a different culture is extremely frustrating. I have come to realize I loathe that line. I may not be in America but I am, in some of the most stereotypical ways, an American. I take comfort in Peace Corps’ second purpose which is to bring American culture to host country nationals to justify my decisions to go to sleep when they might expect me to come socialize. I’m learning, that despite our social practices, Americans are very private people. If you’re tired or sick especially, but even when you’re perfectly well, alone time is highly valuable. That is not the case here in Tanzania but I’ve come to accept the fact that I am absolutely not Tanzanian and there is no need to make myself miserable to assuage their concerns about my lack of a presence.

Anyway, the moral of the story is after only 3 hours of sleep the night before due to my painful back (more on that in my next post) and an early bus departure, followed by a 14 hour bus ride across the country, I had too much Tanzania upon my arrival. I just wanted to rest and around every corner was some issue preventing that.

So I wanted to write another blog post just to catch up on current events. In terms of the day-to-day, very little has changed down here in the southwest of Tanzania. The O-level classes have closed and it is quieter around school with just the A-level kids hanging around. Currently we’re also in the middle of mock exams for form 6 so that keeps half the kids studying furiously in a corner in an attempt to prepare for their tests. My class’s exam was relatively easy. There were few tricky questions, as most of them were very straightforward and asking for very mainstream concepts to be produced. There were two questions that I thought were out of line as they were never mentioned in the syllabus but I suppose they were probably concepts taught in O-level which would make them fair game for an A-level exam, as they are supposed to be fully cumulative. However, partial fraction decomposition and (less so) the equation for a circle were concepts that we never went over and I’ll be surprised if the students score very well on them. Although, I guess I should be grateful they showed up here and not on the exam for the first time. Other than exams, school is continuing, if only at a seemingly sluggish pace. Since I lost my physics periods, my work load is down hovering around that line where I don’t have to do any work to still get by and at times it can be hard to motivate myself to do quality work day in and day out. However, I am attempting to use the time to give effort in my secondary work, library and presentations, to counter when I regain my physics periods in the coming weeks. However, I find I do better work when I have more of it so it may take that additional responsibility to trigger a consistent quality response.

The seasons are one thing that is changing, and rather rapidly, right now. It has looked like a storm several times and even spit rain while grumbling thunder, but until quite recently the actual precipitation has been lacking. That all changed this last Sunday when I could see the storm clouds gathering in the early afternoon. Part of the difference was the fact that the storm approached about 3 hours before they had been gathering lately, and part of it was the cloud structure, which was much more defined and solid. One of the cool things about tin roofs is that you can hear what is coming for a little bit before it arrives. The storm came in like a continuous crescendo of applause and once the rain showed up the wind picked up too. It got to the point where I was waiting outside to watch the tree that would inevitably fall, do so. I turned out to be correct, although it was only a large branch as opposed to the full tree this time, but I missed it because I was driven inside by the pea-sized hail (yes hail!) that was blown sideways compromising my porch as a shelter. Ever since that storm, we’ve had pouring rain every night, and even some showers during the day. It was clearly the beginning of the season which now looks to stay quite wet. Well, at least it feels like Tukuyu again!

I watched the movie Saving Private Ryan the other day for the first time. I’d wanted to see it ever since I remembered hearing Ian got to go see it in theatres when we were not even teenagers. I’d even seen some of the opening scene once, but never the entire movie. I have no idea if a World War II vet would consider that a good representation of the experience, but it moved me in a way few movies have in recent memory. I have levels of quality in my mind and often movies are good but do not get up to that highest rung, but this one certainly did. From the opening scene where the fronts of the boats open at Omaha Beach to greet a wave of bullets, I was filled with the feeling that I did not appreciate what that war meant to America and the world. We hear the words about how our soldiers are fighting in the name of freedom etc. in Afghanistan and Iraq but somehow, with all the disagreement on where we should be fighting and if we should still be there, the words lose their meaning. But to know that failure meant the conquest of pure evil in the world, the call to fight must have been undeniable. Yet, war in those days was so much different. Casualties were expected and you were happy with numbers lost in a battle that today are unacceptable in a war! Men went to fight, knowing it was likely they would die, and yet they did it anyway; literally for family, god, and country. I don’t think my generation can truly appreciate what war was for those fighting in WWII because I don’t think we think we equate war with such a high likelihood of death. Obviously today’s soldiers have to be willing to give their lives and indeed many have already given themselves mentally to the cause. But at least for me, “going off to war” doesn’t mean what it must have for the men in the 40s.

I think the other element of the movie that struck a chord with me was the camaraderie of the men in battle and dying for your fellow soldier. At the end of the movie, Tom Hanks’ character says to Matt Damon simply, “Earn this.” What an inescapable burden the survivors of that war must have felt from those they left behind on the battlefield. By some inexplicable roll of the dice, they were the ones that got to go home to their wives, girlfriends, and unborn generations that lived only because they did. I have never claimed to understand Post-traumatic Stress Disorder because I’m not sure what it could possibly feel like. But the moment where Private Ryan has grown to an old man and is begging for his wife to tell him he’s lived a good life, earning every life that was sacrificed to save his own on the battle field, I think I got a glimpse of what that burden must have been like to the survivors and how it could cause some to never recover. I’m not trying to say that from one movie I am suddenly privy to even a small portion of what that war did to America, but I think that movie did exactly what a great film does; it gave, if even for only a few moments, the sense of being in the experience and not behind a screen.

Given that today is December 7, I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to every veteran that fought in World War II and every other veteran who has served to keep America and her people safe. And thank you to those who continue to do that duty today, especially my friends and family who are serving. I could not do what I am doing without your work.

To those who have read my blog in the past you may have consistently come across a reference to a transit project that I have spent a significant amount of time designing. While it seems at times like a colossal waste of time given I live in Africa having limited contact with people who could identify the merits and faults of my proposal, it has been an enjoyable exercise and a good creative outlet. However, often my ideas aren’t finished until I’ve reached some sort of tangible ending point to the project. A few months ago, I put the idea into an actual document that I sent to be produced into a physical booklet (thank you Katie!) and sent to people who could indeed have an effect on it. I was rewarded with a thoughtful response by the director of Wichita Transit, giving me a look at the document they have chosen to guide them in the future.

However, I have since found an additional solution to my list of kinks to be worked out, which brings me here, in search of another end. So therefore, I’ll present the plan and its associated update.

I have been working on this idea in one form or another since my freshman year of college, when I realized that the city had an interesting situation in that in every direction from the city, towards every other town nearby, there were rail corridors in various states of use. Then, I further recognized that most every major destination had one of these corridors in close proximity to it. Over the course of the next few years I developed several iterations of my plan until settling on open-ended bus-rapid-transit (BRT) corridors as the best use of the facilities. I admit, some would require more significant construction than others, and the costs could be significant, but with a commitment to the project, other necessary improvements (that will be constructed without the system) could be modified to make the project even cheaper.

Anyway, the system is based around consolidating the current offerings of the Wichita Transit into branches of an effectively high-capacity corridor where service would be dramatically increased. In places where buses run on nearby streets, they would be consolidated to one corridor and timed to cut the wait time for the next bus in half. The further you travel from city center, the less frequent travel is on the transit corridor, as buses turn off to offer local service on various streets. In the center of town, this does shrink service coverage, but if the corridor offers truly frequent service, people will walk to take it. The other advantage, and biggest gain, of the system is an assistance of non-downtown-oriented trips. Since stations on the busway could be used as a transfer point, the rider could ride one bus to the transitway and then switch services to another destination without going downtown, as is required now.

The busways with the most potential boil down to four different routes. A northeast busway which follows abandoned railroad tracks from Washington, just north of Central, to Wesley hospital before turning north towards WSU, and then turning east to travel at roughly 17th street to Rock Road. A second busway would follow Southeast Blvd from its break off with Washington all the way to 47th Street South and the Oaklawn community. This could be constructed concurrently with an effort to raise the train tracks paralleling the boulevard by sacrificing lanes on a street that is redundant to Washington, Hydraulic, and I-135 in the north, and has sufficient space for additional lanes further south. The western branches both begin in Delano, just north of Douglas, then the southwest splits to follow the active railway past Friends and then branches off to travel along the southern side of Kellogg to the airport. The northwestern line would travel parallel to the rails heading northwest along Zoo Boulevard. Perhaps, with the construction of a rail connection between Maize and North Broadway, the railroad could be convinced to abandon the right-of-way and the transitways would require very little property acquisition. There are other potential corridors, including a southern transitway I included in phase three that follows the western edge of the river, however, these four are the foundation of the system.

The product being put together for Wichita Transit’s expansion, currently focuses on decreasing wait times and increasing transfer opportunities which is a necessary goal. However, the busway concept allows users to take advantage of potential redundancies closer to the region’s core as buses converge on the downtown area, all the while seeing more comfortable transfer facilities. Even initially at the start up, frequencies at transitways are often much better than 10 minutes between buses. The following is a diagram of my hypothetical build out after the second phase:

There are some obvious shortfalls of the suggestions and service does lack to some important parts of the city. I had to create a hypothetical implementation in order to effectively show the potential of my system and this is the map for one potential solution. Two places that would really require service that I have not served well are the manufacturing hubs of Hawker Beechcraft and Cessna Aircraft. I would also advocate better north-south connections on the near east side (Hillside and/or Oliver service). With this level of investment in the system, it would develop beyond one of basic mobility service to one riders could truly plan their day around.

The current plan for Wichita Transit is to significantly increase frequencies, in some cases to every 15 minutes. Since this is already under consideration for improved bus service, I adopted it into my proposal as well. Each line is upgraded to 15 minute service, which creates very busy transitways where over half the system stations have frequencies of 6 minutes or less!

That is the express version of the plan, which is all about focusing on serving a transit district completely, as opposed to trying to serve the entire region with basic mobility. I’m not sure if it would be possible in this economic climate, but Wichita Transit has suggested perhaps seeking a transit tax or some other increase in funds in order to fund their ambitious expansion. I would perhaps suggest defining the transit district and levying the tax on those individuals residing and businesses operating within it, and people living outside the district could vote on if they want more basic mobility based services, funded by a smaller tax. I find that system both more fair, and more likely to get passed. As the people who need it are the people in the core but also are often overruled when the suburban vote is added to the mix.

The gap at the center of the map where the busways seemingly end in the downtown area is the subject of my recent work. I have been bothered by that problem since I finished the project. I will admit the idea came from a fun little hypothetical redesign of the Union Station site as a redeveloped transit center with the expansion of the Heartland Flyer. Connecting it to the bus network was a priority and developed the idea of William as an exclusive transit corridor. During the inevitable upgrades required at the station, a connection would be built from the back of Union Station to the William Street corridor to allow transit vehicles to pass underneath the railroad tracks above. To the west, William Street becomes Water street after curving northward next to Century II and the busway could extend northward following Water and the abandoned railway it comes to join. The recent downtown master plan has identified that the downtown area has an excess of lanes, which I agree with whole heartedly. However, the suggestion of a Douglas St transit facility takes away lanes from the one place in downtown where they are actually at a shortage. With a few connections, using excess lanes on other streets, the William/Water bus facility could be connected to the busways radiating out from town. The following is my drawing of such designed facilities:

The portion of Douglas between Water and the Delano district has a portion with 6 lanes, in front of Century II and 4 lanes across the river connecting to a two lane portion through Delano. Taking two lanes from each section should not significantly impair the traffic flow on the street, as it is simply moves the funnel east to near the Waco/Douglas intersection. The southeast busway would be accessed by converting one of the side-streets west of Washington into a transitway to connect to the back of Union Station and the northeast busway could connect to the William/Water transitway through dedicated lanes on Murdock St. A future redesign of Washington Street for service as both a street and transit facility could create Wichita’s own version of the loop, connecting all the major downtown facilities.

Implementing this also creates the potential for several transit oriented developments with a focus on residential (near Cleveland/Central), office and light industry (near Washington/Kellogg), or shopping (west of Delano). While the focus at this time should be the true core of the city, success of such a transit system could feed the need for additional transit focused space to be developed in the areas immediately surrounding the downtown core.

Another aspect of the design that I really like is the attempt to make downtown truly a multimodal travel center with the introduction of full bicycle facilities. Blue lines on the map represent fully separated bike paths, and dashed blue lines represent prominent bike lanes. With these facilities, the entire area from I-135 to the river and from Lincoln to Murdock would be bicycle friendly. With the improvements in walkability being promoted downtown, it would create a truly multimodal hub with walking, biking, potentially intercity rail, and transit given a significant presence, although I will not say equal footing, compared to cars. The first street corridor could be designed to look something like this:

Tired yet? I have one more thing :P When I made my proposal, I based it on population and income distribution data from more than a decade ago. The recently released Wichita Transit Plan has a section showing the population and employment densities for 2008 of the Wichita Metro Area. I combined them into a product that suggested transit suitability, as follows below:

*Sorry for the crazy colors. I messed with it in Picasa to try to improve the contrast, but I really couldn't get it to look all that good.

I have drawn on the Phase 2 build out of my transit system for reference. I think it does a pretty good job of hitting the biggest concentrations of high transit potential. The pink dot (highest score) just northwest of downtown would be near a transit stop built at Murdock and Waco. However, the other pink dot, between Lincoln and Harry on Oliver, is not served directly by a busway. It does make an interesting case for bus lanes on Harry street between Southeast Blvd. and Rock Road however, and I wonder if the Wichita Transit officials have considered that when advocating a BRT-light system for Douglas between the shopping malls. The map also demonstrates there may be potential for express buses to Andover and Derby then local service within their respective city limits.

And there you have it: my official update. It’s not perfect, and it would require significant investment, in both time and money, from the city. But I think it would start to develop a system that promotes non-automobile orienting living. A denser city is a cheaper one to supply basic infrastructure to so from an economic standpoint as well as an cheaper on to live in, especially if the price of gas starts to climb again. I think it's in the city's best interest to be actively seeking things that support enhanced density.

Hopefully I was reasonably articulate. It’s easy to see to see my maps and know all my ideas but not always simple to put those into words. Please feel free to comment and question the idea below! And if you’re still reading, thanks so much for actually considering it all!

So it has been official for nearly a month now but I feel it’s still relevant to address the fact that I’ve reached the halfway point in my service. It makes complete sense to me, standing here, now why the Peace Corps asks you to commit two full years to service. It took me this long to even get an idea of what I can do if I want to. Granted, that makes it sound like my abilities are fully known and my options are listed on a sheet of paper, which is of course, not even slightly true. I will be learning and developing relationships till the day I leave, that’s just how it goes. But all in all, I feel as though I have command, albeit limited, of the situation. They say during training it takes a year to become fully comfortable; it does. They also say it takes a year to get the Swahili skills; it does not. It takes longer….at least for me. But I am working on it and I do see improvements. But I’m not going to worry about that because I’ve written plenty on that topic.

I had a productive exercise the other day. I took what I feel I can do, and wrote down what projects within that I think I would like to do in the coming year. I came up with a semi-surprisingly attainable list of goals. It was mostly made up of quality education and adding valuable non-academic information about lifestyle and health. But things like develop a library, within a Tanzanian budget, are things that are happening. It made me somewhat reflective on what I have learned while in country, and so I present to you, with no order whatsoever, and a range of sincerity, the things that I think I’ve learned in the last year:

1) Whoever made the connection between cocks crowing and dawn isn’t awake at any other time of day. It doesn’t matter if it’s day, night, or twilight. Those annoying birds will crow at any time, making eating them all the easier.

2) How to study. I used to think I knew what it meant to study, and to some degree I was right. But when I have to teach a concept I’ve never seen before, based in a science I didn’t do so well in, the true meaning of understanding becomes much more apparent. I’ve shared this anecdote several times, but my sitemate Theo and I were once discussing over lunch our preparations for class. In our commenting about the 3-5 textbooks open at a time, working slowly through material to get the details, and the vigorous note taking, I realized that I had truly studied for the first time. They say the third step in learning is teaching, and I believe it 110%. You wont learn more material faster but still effectively than if you’re expected to teach it to 40 kids the next day.

3) I have some really strange hobbies, and very selective commitment to them. In the same way that I could spend hours looking at weather forecasts and stories when I was a kid, I’ve developed, if possible, even further my affinity for transportation planning. Perhaps the time consumption is so high because I don’t have the tools I could potentially acquire in the states to speed up production. But I have filled nearly 100 pages of a workbook with ideas for a transportation plan for Wichita. I do want it to be considered but I recognize the impracticality of it, especially right now. Still, it is satisfying to produce something that, at least when looked at through my biased eyes, would effectively serve, and even develop the community.

4) I just don’t do as well with languages. I am able to learn when I give it effort and use it frequently, but if it is not something I am forced to use every day it can fall by the wayside and I don’t learn via osmosis in the way I can with the sciences. It still takes lots of practice and I have to give the effort, but for now it just seems like a lot more work than it’s worth, given I can get what I need day to day.

5) I really can cook; I just don’t think I want to most of the time. I actually enjoy cooking, when it’s a shared task. It is also quite satisfying to produce an enjoyable meal that is both filling and tasty. The problem is, when it’s just me, cooking for an hour for 10-15 minutes of eating seems not worth it. Therefore I end up with the same pasta every night with the same spices and the same filled but unsatisfied stomach. This should be a fairly limited issue as once I have someone who would get upset by the blandness of my meals, I’ll have someone to help me cook something better!

6) Apparently drugs are even less effective on me than I had previously thought. So I’m taking Mephaquin once a week, which is an anti-malarial medicine. The side effects can include insomnia and vivid dreaming. I know I’m a big guy, but when we arrived in country, we took a large dose to get it into our system. Many people didn’t sleep for two whole days but I actually slept really well considering the fact that I was also suffering from jet lag. Another side effect has been an upset stomach but that has only happened when I took the pill on an empty stomach.

7) Speaking of upset stomachs, they can ruin your day if you’re not careful. My time in country has been somewhat marred by a recurrent digestive issue resulting in abdominal cramping and long stints in the bathroom. At this point, I’ve accepted it as part of the experience and I work around it. I usually can recognize the onset of trouble and take appropriate action. I have yet to have it be a debilitating issue but we’ll see where the adventure goes!

8) Staying in the same theme. Weight loss has been fantastically easy! All you have to do is not eat anything of nutritional value very often and consume all filler foods. It’s worked without any real attempt to control the situation on my end. I eat fairly well on the weekends and I’m still significantly slimmer. I think it’s all the stuff in American food but between my digestive problems and the lack of worthy nutrition in the food I do eat, I have effectively returned my weight to the range I should be.

9) Culture runs so much deeper than ethnic clothing and dance. Maybe this was obvious for other people but I remember a discussion of culture always being accompanied by a picture of some non-Caucasian in ethnic get up doing some sort of dance. Still today, even in Tanzania, tribes who define themselves independently of Tanzanians can be identified by the clothing they wear. Yet, I’m finding cultural differences extend to everything from outlook on life to food preferences. For example, the people of Tanzania are very often fatalists and feel that what happens to them is out of their hands. (Yes Peace Corps I acknowledge you did teach that but I, predictably, didn’t file it away as important). Mungu akipenda (literally translated: if God likes), I will go to school next year. I think in America we would generally agree that that is mostly in our hands to decide and work through but here it really is mostly left up to God. Unfortunately, that approach also removes one from responsibility for failure, as it wasn’t my fault! God just didn’t want it to happen so it didn’t matter how hard I tried. While, there are obviously exceptions to the rule, they also are a culture of reproducing what’s given to them. I have seen a tailor turn down business because he was asked to make a shirt out of cloth that was sewn together as a skirt. it was plenty of cloth but because it wasn’t started from the simple flat sheet he was used to, he was unable to make the shirt.

10) I imitate not innovate. On the same lines as my Tanzanian students, I have a hard time thinking outside the box sometimes. I take what I see as a good idea and I apply it to a situation. My teaching is mostly made up of lecture since my students are a step away from college. Although, when I do try and make the experience more engaging, I find myself reverting to those who taught me and trying to emulate their very successful teaching methods. When I work with my transportation things, I tend to choose the most appropriate already-established idea for the given situation (or at least recently I have, LRT for Wichita notwithstanding :P), not thinking of some creative new system. (Although it could just be that there aren’t better alternatives :P) I recognize being truly innovative is really hard and perhaps beyond me, so I’ll take what I can be good at and further develop those skills.

11) I’m irrationally devoted to things at times. I have finished tv shows and books while I’ve been here just to say that I did. On more than one occasion despite not really enjoying the subject of my attention but I finished it to say I had. I’m not really sure what this says about me as a person, but I find myself wondering why I do it, only to realize three hours later I’m back watching the tv show “to finish it.”

And I’m out of ideas that come immediately to mind. Back to serious, I think it’s easy to look at something like Peace Corps service and see only the few central goals. Teaching school and educating about health issues are the really obvious surface issues. But 2/3 of the point of Peace Corps is cultural exchange and establishing relationships and developing them. Inadvertently, you begin to discover things about yourself which you’re then forced to acknowledge, develop, and utilize. I have my goals for the second half of service, all of which are attainable if I put my mind to it. I have to see the potential places where I can fail and either mitigate the risk or recruit someone else to help where I’d fail. I’m excited about the next 6-8 months with the possibilities, so we’ll see how it goes!

So last week I got my first official taste of being a year older. I hosted shadows for the week from the new class of ed volunteers incoming this year. It was interesting to be on the other side of that exchange for sure. It’s funny, every time I find myself in a position of authority or “power” for lack of a better term, I’m increasingly realizing that there I have nowhere near the command and comfort of the situation that I attribute to those who are in those positions over me. I looked up to the guy I shadowed as some wise volunteer who knew the ins and outs of the situation and really had the situation under control. But for me, while I do generally have a handle on the situation, I definitely don’t have my life in perfect order like his seemed to be back then.

Anyway, the shadow process was extended this year so I had them for a full 7 days. We received them on Sunday evening and then hosted till the next Sunday when they returned. It’s strange to think about how the routine of a volunteer can get kind of overly comfortable. I’m able to walk into my 7:30 am class on Monday with a few notes and the notes I wrote for last year and be comfortable, whereas I could see neither felt like teaching was something they could do without preparation. I know for a fact I felt that way back then so it’s cool to think I have grown in some ways. I’ve always been generally ok with public speaking (although public performance hasn’t always been easy) but once I know my kids I have no worries walking into class. Anyway, the result was a day off on Monday while the shadows grew accustomed to my house and welcomed being generally lazy which hadn’t been an option for several weeks. They also grew accustomed to my cats. When I first got in contact with them, I asked what their cat situation was and both are, of course, allergic. However, Paul was way more so than Veronica and after a night of what I think was actually pretty painful allergies, we tried to set him up in my mattress-less third bed.

Tuesday did result in teaching, which I was glad about. While Peace Corps generally does a good job of preparing their volunteers for teaching, they can sometimes focus only on the lower levels of the system, which is reasonable given the split in volunteers between O and A levels. Therefore, I felt it is important for the shadows to get a chance to stand in front of an A-level classroom and see what the issues are. English, while still a challenge, becomes less of a problem. Presentation of material is much more lecture-like. Creative teaching gives way to solid explanations. While it’s all part of the natural shift to higher level teaching styles, I felt it important to show that difference so they felt more prepared.

Wednesday morning was a little bit of teaching, then a trip to Katie’s site, which in my opinion, has the best view in Tanzania. Unfortunately, the rains are only just starting so the sky was still hazy and not all way visible. It was still enjoyable as we made a feast of bean burgers and lots of toppings! Katie’s dog had apparently acquired a girlfriend. And one of her shadowers developed a love for Chuck! (It’s spreading!)

Thursday was an Ngozi hike with the shadows. I’ll refer you to photos in other posts but it was just as gorgeous as ever! And Friday we went into Mbeya, introducing them to the tastes of Metro cuisine! The rest of the weekend was mostly spent hanging out with various groups of people. As always, the kitchen at Anita’s house was a busy place and everyone chipped in for good food. When everyone gets together in Mbeya it is such an enjoyable atmosphere as everyone lounges with a beer and stories. And we just hang out for hours on end doing very little. Again, I’m starting to feel old. I remember back when I couldn’t understand how my parents would just sit at family gatherings and talk the whole time. Now I’m wondering why they didn’t bring a six pack to share :P It’s just amusing to see how the tables have turned.

So it seemed like a pretty uneventful week, and it most certainly was. Given my excuse that I had to take care of my shadows, and using the fact that they were teaching my classes, my week turned into one big lethargic break. Alas, how I suffer! Anyway, moral of the story: shadows were great and I had a really restful week!

I gave my sleep presentation last night and I would consider it a moderate success! I made a powerpoint because I knew the novelty would attract students, and I used my towel, which was shown to be fairly dirty, as a screen to project on. Unfortunately hanging from a tree it didn't turn out quite as smooth as I would have hoped, but the effect was the same. I suppose this is where I need to thank Theo as he let me borrow the projector for the project.

Anyway, although I think the presentation lacked super engaging qualities beyond the technology, I think it hit its target audience. I found students who freely admitted they sleep 4 hours a night, and by then end they were asking questions about how to ensure they sleep better. I'm not sure I kept everyone interested as I started with essentially the entire A-level population and whittled it down to maybe 30 students by the end of the hour. But those that stayed asked questions for 15-20 minutes and we discussed what they could do to improve sleep and when to worry about waking.

I even got a request for another presentation! So I think the next time we'll do the study skills and time management presentation! Then from there, who knows. Maybe this could even develop into a research education sort of thing where I have students do the research and production, which will help them as they go to universities. We'll see what unfolds but for now, I'm feeling pretty good about the situation :)

So again I've lapsed on my blogging. I apologize for the gaps, but I'll do my best to bring you up to date. I finished break in mid-October which essentially means for a week I was typing 4-5 exams a day, which in perspective, isn't an issue at all. However, what I'm realizing is that many of the exams could be typed by the teacher who puts them together. So one thing I have considered trying is to do a basic computer education and typing seminar type thing to introduce computers as a resourse in the school. While most teachers in my school have used computers before and have a basic knowledge, it doesn't go far enough to where they can really utilize it to make their lives easier. Granted, having them type their own tests would infringe up responsibilities which have been clearly defined and although it may make sense, it's just not right. Things that are done a certain way are often not to be questioned and are that way for a reason, regardless of our ability to explain that reason. However, on occasion that argument does not apply. I'm still working on figuring out when these things matter and when they don't because, often, there is little rationale, or so it seems to the volunteers.

The biggest news, in the short term at least, is the embracing of my seminar series for student life by my school administration. I have finished preparing my sleep presentation and am really just looking forward to an opportunity to give it. In that process, I asked my headmaster if I could present and he began suggesting not only do we do this, we expand to talk about studying habits and nutrition and everything I had been thinking from day 1!! So, I'm currently focusing on a study habit and time management presentation and looking to present the original sleep presentation. I still have at least two more presentations with one on extracurriculars and creativity and another on nutrition and wellbeing. The issue came up between a sitemate of mine and his students and they admitted it was information they had never heard before. Nutrition is a part of the biology syllabus but often the connections between the books in the classroom and real life are lost on the students. So that project is alive, and honestly, doing much better than I expected!

Finally, I'm getting back into reading. I've recently been watching shows and working through them. One downside of having several seasons is a commitment to watch a show requires strong dedication! I recently have watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (a bit extreme for my tastes, just too ridiculous and edgy most of the time), How I Met Your Mother (enjoyably entertaining, but somewhat mindless), and Sports Night (a witty comedy that does a good job of blending the real and the hilarious). The downside to this is that I haven't read as much. I just finished the first book of the Uplift Triology, which is the 4th book in the series. It finally got quite interesting in the final pages (which is not a good ratio considering there were 659 of them) as my favorite story from book 2 comes back to play a prominant part. But now I've decided to take a short break. Due to a limited time opportunity (in other words, someone else wants the book) I've began to read the book The God Delusion. Just as it sounds, it's a book written by an athiest about why religion is a bad thing. Acknowledging that I've only read maybe 25 pages, he brings up some very good (and often ugly) points about religion as a whole, but I find myself feeling he assumes any truely rational thought will give the reader only his conclusion about the situation. And if it does not, it is somehow misguided by the force fed religion of our previous generations. Granted, he admits to writing the book as a rallying cry to athiests so it is reasonable to expect it to be a solid voice advocating that ideology. I think it will be interesting to read on and see if there are new arguments to be delt with or if all his scientific evidence will be made up of ideas I have already encountered.

Inevitably, I have more I could say, but I'll wait for another post. I'm getting tired and my bed looks awfully inviting! Anyway, I hope things are going well wherever you are!

I have frequently caught myself saying that all the growth people told me would happen to me in college, has more effectively occurred here in the Peace Corps for me. Granted the next question following that is usually along the lines of “what has changed?” Well, then starts the stuttering and the blank mind because putting it into words is often more difficult than I expect. But perhaps it’s not that I’ve changed so much as I’ve become more self aware, and ideally in most situations more confident.

One place where my confidence still lacks is in putting myself into a situation where I have the potential to, at least in my eyes, embarrass myself. I suppose if we looked back in the crystal ball or through some psychological analysis we could come to various events in my development that impeded my growth as a confident outgoing individual. The most obvious was a certain picture of me in clothing not appropriate to my gender that got to school and was that quintessential gaffe that someone becomes known for. I really feel as though it was some time earlier as I can recall those concerns before then, but in elementary school I remember often feeling exceedingly confident and capable, which was, in hindsight, a product of my ability to digest information very quickly. When I was young (haha I’m 23 so that’s kind of a ridiculous statement but you know what I mean), I learned very quickly and so I think I probably was a step ahead of most that surrounded me, which would naturally give anyone confidence. However, I think my early successes did not develop in me an ability to bounce back, for lack of a better way to say it. So as I grew up, I continued to get myself into the company of people who I would consider truly brilliant. Yet I failed to see that while I was not the smartest, best, or most capable, I was absolutely not the other end in any categories. I just failed to see beyond the first part. IB, orchestra, athletics, all of which carried over to college at Cornell where there are herds of geniuses running around. Even now, in Peace Corps, the people here come from a slice of America that is…impressive, at the very least. Just considering these peoples’ secondary education achievements and it is quite the group of individuals. Anyway, I set a high bar for myself, but when I fail to clear the bar, I never really deal with it. I just kind of feel sad for a little while, think self-deprecating thoughts, and sit with my tail between my legs before moving on to the next thing and put it out of my mind.

I’m curious to know what that might have lost me. I think as a musician I was only as good as my concern for failure would let me be. I hate(d) solos because it was me and my warts for all to see where as the further into a group I was the better I felt. I know for a fact my best quality viola playing was in a massive orchestra where I was completely covered. Yet somehow I couldn’t translate that quality to when I would play alone, and that made it all the harder to keep my confidence at a level even basic skills needed to succeed. Vocally, I was much more comfortable and that allowed me to do things like Madrigals. Still, when it came time for me to sing alone in front of a piano, or heaven forbid, in front of the auditorium, I got extremely nervous, to the point where it was difficult to do things that were automatic at most times.

I suppose I could also list the number of relationships that didn’t, or at least couldn’t, happen due to my lack of confidence. I’m fairly certain at least one relationship I had was sabotaged by my lack of self-confidence. And I had several situations when a less concerned person would put himself out there. But despite myself, I’m in a very good place on that front! Since I tried so hard to avoid getting myself into a situation where I could get hurt, I waited until I couldn’t not pursue the relationship and it has worked out wonderfully.

Anyway, to get where this is going, I’ve found my new confidence dependent issue. Language. Somehow, standing in front of a classroom teaching material I learned the night before is not a huge concern for me. However, I can’t deny that the teaching profession is in my blood so maybe I have some help in that department. But my language ability is less than what it should be and even with effort to practice grammar and improve vocabulary, I’m way behind. I have all these excuses ready to flow out for why I don’t understand when all my peers seem to do better than me with the language. My host family spoke mostly English, I teach in English, I don’t live in a situation where I even have to speak English, and the current hot one, it’s easier if they speak so there isn’t confusion so I’ll stand in the back. The reality, however, is that I just don’t try as hard as I should and I don’t try because I’m worried what will happen when I make a mistake. I’m not really sure how to correct this fault of mine but being aware that it is often a problem far greater than trying and failing is a first step. That’s not to say I wouldn’t have agreed with that statement in the past, but I would have found some excuse for why it didn’t apply in that situation. I would rather not ruin a good friendship, or I don’t want to say something offensive. I can’t say I know what I need to do now, or every situation will be met with the appropriate internal preparation, but I do need to deal with this. When it makes me avoid buying wood for months because I’m worried about vocabulary I need to do something. And today I did AND I said something that made absolutely no sense. But I laugh about it, and learn. And tomorrow, I’m that much better a Swahili speaker.

All in all I realize this is cliché. Yet, it’s a battle I constantly wage….still. I’m sure, now, it will be one I fight for the duration of my life, but maybe putting myself here in a world where my ability to survive is tied to doing things that make me uncomfortable will prove to myself I can do whatever it is that makes me so nervous.

I had an interesting experience today. So this past weekend, after a 2 night stay at Matema Beach, I found my way back home with about 5000 shillingi to spare which was all part of my plan to limit my spending. Although, frequently not taking a lot of money just turns into more excessive borrowing but I like to think it instills some frugality that would otherwise be lacking. Anyway, my fortune in being near an ATM allows me to extend my wallet somewhat in that I can refill the immediate wallet with the bigger bank wallet in less than 5 minutes. However, this also depends on the ATM functioning, which in any western world country would be a valid assumption, but as you might have noticed, I am not in the western world. Therefore, the ATMs break down with some frequency and Sunday night happened to be one of those nights. Compounding that problem was my friends’ needs to travel places either that night or the next day and they had essentially no money themselves. Therefore, my 5000 shillingi went to travel expenses for the friends and I was left with about 400 shillingi in change. Not to worry! I had a just eaten a small pack of spaghetti and a sauce made of my spices and some oil. I also had a couple slices of bread.

Ok, so fastforward 18 hours. I figure when I start getting hungry I can go out to get money then food today. Well, that didn’t quite go as planned as the ATMs were out of money today. At this point, my food intake has been about 2 slices of bread dipped in some olive oil for the last 22-24 hours, not entirely as planned but fixable when the ATM is working. But alas, it is not. So, my friend Linda and I scrape together 1000 shillings between us. I have an avocado and an onion at home, so we decide to buy chapati (basically tortillas) and make some rudimentary guacamole for food. With 2 and a half small-plate-sized chapati and maybe 4 spoonfuls of guacamole, I am now satiated for the short term. However, given the money situation, I’m not sure what I am going to be able to do. I do have a couple potatoes, so I wont starve, but after that, if the ATM doesn’t work tomorrow? Well, fortunately, we were able to go back to the ATM a bit ago and I’m happy to say they are restocked and we were able to take out money. However, I can’t remember a situation where I was literally out of food and out of money to the point where I was worried about where my next meal would come from.

Now, at this point, a lot of people would point out that many people here in Africa do live that way, and maybe that number is larger than what I see, but I find that it’s not the situation most frequently found here. Granted, a caveat for me is that I live in quite possibly one of the most fertile valleys in the country, and perhaps the continent or even the world. Growing food here is not hard. With the frequency of rain and the rich volcanic soil, sustaining yourself is as simple as throwing seeds out back. What we do have here, and it is present even in my school, is malnutrition and an unbalanced diet. People here can afford food to sustain them. Maize grows at least as fast as the weeds here and they ground that up into the country’s favorite dish: ugali. Imagine a cornbread batter that’s half cooked and that’s kind of the idea of ugali. The problem is it is ALL filler. It has almost no nutritional value in terms of vitamins and minerals etc. Yet that is the base of every meal here, then you add beans and maybe some greens, which gives you malnutritioned kids with full stomachs. It’s interesting, the biology syllabus in school is supposed to teach about nutrition and healthy diets, but no one sees that as more than an academic exercise. But then again, why would you try to eat healthy if sickness isn’t a product of what you put in your body but rather God’s will alone.

In my experience, education is what is most needed. Education that eating a balanced nutritious meal will save you time and money in the long term with better health even if it cost a bit more in the short term. Or passing on gardening techniques to maximize the product they get from their land. They know the land produces a lot, so very few question if they can get more out of it. Also, educating in terms of finances would help significantly. In my experience, people do not look long term here. No one begs for seeds for their garden, they beg for a soda, or in even worse cases, alcohol. If they should find a 5000 shillingi bill on the ground, most people would have that mentally spent as 3 beers and a soda. Granted, if I find money on the ground in the states my mind goes to what fun things that would buy pretty quickly. My point is, few people are actually starving, but a lot of people are not healthy and I think don’t think money is the answer to the problem. Now, I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from donating to the International Children’s Fund or whatever charity they feel most directly benefits those in need in the third world, I’m just saying that writing checks will not solve these problems. I suppose that’s easy for me to say as someone without a job or daily responsibilities preventing me from volunteering, but maybe think twice about what your money goes? Does it just go into some third-world government “aid fund” where it can be misused, or does it go to someone doing aid work in the field? Someone who is doing the education and the community work to make a lasting sustainable impact. Just thought I’d offer some food…..for thought :P

One of the goals of Peace Corps is to have the American volunteers experience their host country and bring it back to America. In fact, two of the three goals of PC are simply cultural exchange on the part of the volunteer. Part of that process is seeing what your community has to offer. Now, granted, what I, as a westerner, want to see and what the local community wants to see seem vastly different. In Mbeya, we have a long list of quite impressive natural wonders and, in my experience, I’ve seen at least twice as many of them as my fellow Tanzanians. Perhaps this is a work issue, where we have defined off days but the pattern here seems to be just take a little time off each day. Or maybe it’s just an appreciation thing. I can understand how the work required to get to some of these sites is not worth the effort if you’re not terribly interested. Anyway, given that this week is as complete a break as we have in Tanzania, as all forms were off school (save form 4 who are taking their national exam but that doesn’t involve me at all), it was (technically still is!) the perfect week for outdoor activities. I completed two hikes, Ngozi Crater Lake and Rungwe Mountain. According to Google Earth, the land that I walked over during those three days amounted to 28 miles, 24-25 of which was in two distinct hikes. Needless to say I’m quite sore and my feet don’t want to touch the ground.

Saturday we took a coaster to the stop on the side of the road, where we began the Ngozi hike. It is a substantial walk on a dirt road before finding a path off into the forest. Walking along this path continues for 45 minutes or so before coming to a staging area of sorts and the path continues, in much smaller form up the side of the mountain. The first time we did this, which was outside of hiking season, we were required to push through vegetation that was in our way, while this time the path was very clear. I suppose that money that we pay to enter really does get some of the path cleared. Anyway, after rising for maybe 30 minutes you walk along with ups and downs, with understandably more ups, until you reach the overlook. At this point you can see the entire lake within the crater. The area looks like some untouched oasis, and to some degree it is. The last time we did this, however, we didn’t get to go down into the crater, while this time we figured it out. Of course, descending 200m in a short distance requires a lot of climbing, but there is a path and plenty of vines and roots. It felt very Tarzan. Then at the lake shore we sat for a while, throwing volcanic rocks into the water and watching them float. After a while, we climbed back to the overlook and returned to the road. All in all, that day was around 9 miles of hiking.

The final climb up to the rim:

The view from the outlook:

Climbing down to the shore:

At the lake shore:

Sunday I took off to recover, for the most part. I did have to hike to a friend’s house to start prepare for the Rungwe hike, which was another 2 miles or so. But I felt reasonably recovered by the time we left Monday morning and headed up the mountain. The Rungwe hike is an interesting one as you start out hiking through modern rural Africa, then get to a less modern rural Africa, then in the matter of about 5 feet you’re in Jungle Africa. It’s kind of amusing because upon entering the forest, you immediately drop down probably 50-75 feet to reach a creek (and yes you can drink from it!). It’s the gorgeous setting with trees everywhere and birds calling. There is an occasional monkey (as rungwe has its own species) but they aren’t always around. Anyway, the upward hike begins and goes on forever it seems. Eventually, the trees thin and you start to get peeks of your surroundings. It’s about this time my stomach seems to realize that it’s out of food. So eating is a priority. Then as the trees continue to thin, they eventually give way to bamboo, which is a really cool setting. After some time in the bamboo, you find yourself in a group of scratchy scrub bushes and the last segment of vegetation. Finally, escaping the bushes, it’s a quick climb to the summit of the peak through short grasses and rocks. All in all it takes between 4-5 hours to get up to the summit. However, this time, my Ngozi weakened legs had to rest quite frequently near the end. At the onset of the bamboo, I had to let Andrew, my hiking partner (yes it was two Andrews hiking together :P) go ahead and I came along at a slower pace. Regardless, it was a lovely hike, and although it was hazy we could see Tukuyu, although not all the way to Lake Malawi. Anyway, after an hour or so we returned to my friends, and then continued to the road to catch a dala dala (remnants of a van that acts as a bus). All in all, that hike was around 17 miles giving me my 28 miles in three days. Thank you Google Earth :P

The bamboo forest:

The view from the top:

The monkey is from my first hike of Rungwe but still quite exciting to see!

And here you can see the hike almost in its entirety. We start just out of the picture to the right and work our way up the ridge on the right side of the picture until reaching the summit.

In other news, there was a massive fire in Tukuyu. Some PC friends and I were visiting an acquaintance that does work in the Tukuyu area and were walking back when we met a group of people on the road who were walking into town saying there was a fire at a hardware store. When we reached the top of the hill in town, you could see red colored smoke rising from main street. The flames were about two stories tall by the time we got there and the entire town, it seemed, was out to watch or empty the stores adjacent to the fire. The experience gave me a new perspective on the dangers of fire. For the first time in my life, I actually could see the fire getting out of control. I’ve seen the forest fires on TV but in real life I’ve always felt like fire was something that could be contained to what it already had affected. Here I could see people scrambling to save whatever they could from a building a block away and I couldn’t argue with their logic because the fire did not seem as though it could be stopped from reaching those buildings. Fortunately, it ran out of fuel before it spread too far and only the hardware store burned, but it was a humbling experience knowing the town was at the mercy of the fire. The firetruck from Mbeya even made an appearance although it was after the fire had subsided to well within control. Fortunately, I don’t think anyone was injured and only one store was lost. The area is already back to normal, just with one less business.

So in the past I’ve tried to keep this exclusively a Peace Corps related blog, commenting on things from my daily life and occasionally throwing in my thoughts about things that make it here from America. But I’m realizing that daily occurrences in America are actually a part of my life here. My access to information has indeed been set back, but only slightly. I have daily access to the internet, albeit through an expensive choice compared to the US where it is more standard. But still I’m constantly reminded about my connectivity. Be it following a tornadic supercell, or learning of the shooting at UT Austin within an hour or two of it happening. So, due to this fact, I thought I’d break from thoughts on Peace Corps and PC related material and ideology and discuss the things that roam around in my head way more than they should :P

There were two studies recently released that have particular interest to me. The first, and perhaps most obvious, was the downtown development study for Wichita. If you’re interested in the documents, they can be found here! I think it’s the American symbol of prosperity to have a downtown core full of skyscrapers making an identifiable skyline for the world to see. Iconic buildings give us a sense of pride and place. Even the terrorists on 9/11 knew that and took out the two biggest symbols in America. So when someone suggests downtown development, the first mental response is really big, tall buildings. However, the study for the Wichita downtown redevelopment did not suggest new high-rise buildings putting the Epic Center to shame, and I’m finding I agree with the plan. While the goals seem modest at best, I think they are the right focus for the city right now. The city council has had a chronic issue of approving things project by project and figuring it will all congeal into a neighborhood of sorts. Now they have a blueprint on which to build their plans and something to lean on if they want to say no this isn’t something we’re looking for. At the same time it puts their plans out there so developers can see if the plan fits a project they’re interested in. I like consistent plans, but I also appreciate the fact that the plan is not too grandiose. While I’m all for more high-rise construction in the city, I think building from the ground up works better than the sky down. Developing the area as a denser multi-use neighborhood ensures that services are available once someone does become interested in building big and tall. There is no advantage to putting a 30 story building downtown if all that surrounds it is its own parking. That option is available very cheaply and readily, with better highway access too, at the edges of town. Therefore, in order to make the CBD more appealing than say, The Waterfront, the residences and services have to be in place. I would also complement the study on prioritizing transit in the core, as higher density is sustainable when transit is a prominent part of the equation. However, I have A LOT of thoughts on that topic so I’ll leave it for now :P

The second study (found here) is the release of Amtrak’s dream plan for the Northeast Corridor, connection Boston and Washington via NYC and Philly. It’s suggesting a 220mph high-speed train on separate tracks, similar to California’s system, for a tidy sum of $117 billion. Now before sticker shock sets in, let’s remember that the last NEC report issued suggested that the current right-of-way requires $52 billion to be brought up to current standards. I admit, that’s still over double the cost but let’s think about what we’re buying with this. The proposal is about as ambitious as one can get without getting ridiculous. It asks for new tunnels through the center city in Baltimore, Philadelphia, and NYC. But when you consider the fact that doing all that only slightly more than doubles the maintenance costs it seems like a potentially good investment. The report suggests the line would generate a $900 million operation surplus annually (which is getting close to Amtrak’s current budget). It would certainly change the lifestyles of those in the corridor as it suggests that travel times will be shortest on rail, once security and travel from the airport is considered. I’m not really justified in saying whether it is “worth it” or not but I foresee many more studies like this one suggesting the development of HSR in corridors like this (although admittedly not as ideal). We’ll see what comes of this!

I’m noticing a shift in my ideas as to what makes good policy when it comes to urban development. It was not that long ago that I had a build big early and make what you want happen. But as I’m spending time living in a situation where sustainability is such an important part of being effective, I see how sacrificing the day-to-day for the big spectacle can be very dangerous. Now if the government wrote a blank check for the NEC project and work started next month, I’m fairly sure that the project would be well utilized and the benefits would hide the cost. However, the report suggests instead of a one-time payment, committing to a $4.something billion per year plan and make the improvements over 25 years. Building in increments fixes the worst parts of the system first and builds the hype for the rest of the system. Building the downtown core of Wichita with the basics first, then slowly add the eye-candy allows the system to be sustainable. What qualifies as basics and the most needed fixes is always up for debate, but I’m learning how much of the battle is in the implementation, both sequentially and quantitatively. It’s a huge balancing act, and it doesn’t help when the ground is moving underneath you so your support isn’t stable. I can’t say with any confidence that I know this is the case but I think the Interstate system had much more universal support, always standing on solid ground where it is understood to be part of the future. Much of development today has no consensus on what is “the future” so it is a challenge to implement anything sustainably because someone often has a different idea of which way things should be heading. In reality, I’m surprised long-term projects do really ever get done because the people leading them can destroy them so easily. I suppose that’s one of the dangers of democracy, but the security of checks-and-balances is worth the roller coaster for sure.

Anyway, I’m trying to keep my rambling in check, so I’ll stop there. I’d be interested to hear thoughts from those affected by either project because, as one person, I certainly do not have a full view of their significance.

So here in Peace Corps we have a rather large network of media sharing. Favorite shows (Chuck!) are passed around and time is spent (or wasted) watching the ridiculousness of the American cultural addiction to highly over dramaticized versions of life where romance, death, and song are as likely as meeting your friend in the hallway at school. But it made me think about why. We tend to criticize Tanzanian television because half the time it is two people sitting in a room with some alcoholic drink talking, or often yelling, about daily life. Yet, we also think it is amusing that so many people in the third world look at American media and assume we all live these lives that they see on TV. I think that’s a cultural difference I hadn’t really considered until now. We use the media, theatre, and other creative outlets to play out our fantasies and it builds the capacity for dreaming within us as a community. I know there are a lot of us who would love to have our lives run in musical format where significant events were always punctuated by song but we’re not THAT creative to the point where we can do that to any great effect as a people. Yet, here these fantasies are often built on a foundation of reality. Dance and theatre are present but the dance is all still within the confines of a reproduction of a tribal product that has been around for a long time and theatre is rarely punctuated by more than dialogue. I feel like here the prized way of expressing yourself is repeating something widely known, and repeating it very well. Meanwhile, in America uniqueness is heavily valued and when it is produced with quality it hits the spot much more effectively. We love our glitz and glamour and strive for it, even at inappropriate times.

Of course I’m not trying to say one is better than the other but it is interesting how those two ideals tend to come into conflict. I’ve tried to pull creativity out of the students by giving them less rigor in their instructions and the results are nearly disastrous. I take questions until every student finds some sufficient amount of instructions in what I say. I had a group of students doing a lab once where they had thought of an original (well original in that they were the only ones doing it that way) lab and had already produced valid, useful results. Once the rest of the class came up with very similar versions of the experiment that differed dramatically from this group’s, they practically begged me to allow them to change their experiment and take new data. It was incredibly frustrating, considering growing up in America, we tend to encourage uniqueness and focus on appreciating our differences. (Obviously this is a wild generalization and there are many parts of America that are significantly more narrow minded on many issues than even the most stringent of cultures).

There are the ideas in America that you should enjoy what makes you happy, it’s the journey that matters not the destination, etc. I mean, framing a lot of what we do in certain ways can make us look of questionable intelligence. For example, why do people go outside and intentionally let the sun damage their skin while doing nothing but resting? Because it feels good. Why do people spend money on a pair of jeans that costs them twice as much as another perfectly reasonable pair? Because they like the way they feel while wearing them. For all this short term gratification, Americans still have a surprisingly effective work ethic. What I’ve seen here suggests that the basic premise is those who have the tools to work their way up in the culture do so doing whatever is available to them. If the best job they can get is teaching, they do so despite any aversion to truly analytical grading, lesson preparation, or sometimes even standing in front of a class. The phrase “those who can’t do teach” is taken as truth here and teachers often don’t like what they do and the students don’t like that they do them. Even students, if they have an interest in something, but struggle at all, they give it up for the next easiest path to a “decent sized” paycheck.

Obviously there needs to be a balance. There are the people that look at everything as a means to an end and find their life passing them by without any worth or enjoyment. There are also the people who are totally encamped in the live-for-now clan and a good day is measured by how many drinks they can buy that night. I think that’s an understanding I’ve made it a goal to pass on. People here tend to fall on one side or the other and balance is significantly lacking. I would imagine though, if you took a close look at the variations between the two cultures you would find fewer differences in terms of the goals and motivations but mostly just a change in materials, or lack thereof. Yet I think we tend to identify and be aware of this balance (and how we don’t have it) whereas I’m not sure that is the case here. The reasons for that are numerous and not worth trying to recount but the general ease with which information and ideas moves in America plays a large part I think.

So my first post of break falls on the 5th day of break; a product of my attempts to write every day but the inevitable tiredness that befalls me later in the day when I had planned to write my blog post. I saw my friend’s blog sign in screen the other day and I saw she has written 42 posts to my 19, and she doesn’t have access to the internet as frequently as I do. Oh well, it’s not a real issue, just thought I’d vocalize my guilt for not writing more often.

Current news in the area isn’t too exciting. That’s mostly because I’m on break. I have a tentative plan to do some hiking at the beginning of October with a friend of mine. He’s in the previous class so he’s sort of doing a farewell tour so it’ll be fun to hit the highlights!

I’m trying to be productive every day and work a little bit on my projects. The big ones are my time management presentation, an AIDS day my fellow volunteer and I are trying to organize for the end of next month, more Kiswahili studying with a larger application approach, more consistent blogging, and a full clean of the house. I have two articles to really work through on my plate currently. One is material I was given by a grad student from the Cornell Psych department in response to an email I sent my Intro Psych prof at Cornell. He specializes in sleep and it’s affects on productivity and lifestyle so I’m hoping I’ll be able to use it to make a pretty impactful presentation! As for my house, I think if I can buy wood and build a set of shelves in addition to the one I found in the house that would really solve a lot of issues. Organization has been troublesome and I’m realizing I really do need to hang a lot of my clothes which I cannot do here. Dad will be happy to hear, that I’m taking this with an approach where everything has to have a place or it has to go. My room is significantly more livable and my extra room is much more organized. Next is the office/guest bedroom which has become a dumping ground for all that “extra” stuff so we’ll see how this turns out.

Not much else is coming to mind. I’m still working on The Uplift War in terms of my reading ventures and the cats are doing well. They did bring a dead bat into the house the other day which has made me consider getting them rabies shots if it’s not too difficult. The election cycle is starting to seep into my life over here (Oh! I have to get my absentee ballot!) so I can only imagine it is getting quite intense on the American side. Seems like people are generally upset with the situation in the states but I fully admit I’m too removed to know who to blame. I’ll have to take some time over the next few weeks to educate myself for voting.

Sorry for so little to say. Hopefully in the coming days I’ll have specific issues to discuss and generally be more interesting. I guess until then, I’ll wish you all well!

So my situation has continued to develop into an interesting mix of nothing and piles of work at the same time. I'm learning how a job can take as much or little time as you want to give it. I want to be thorough on preparing my Form VI math class for their exam since my work load has been siginificantly reduced in the teaching department. I have such a good model to work from in my high school math teacher Mr. Reimer. I realize that it wasn't just his test prep work that got such consistently high-quality results but his results speak for themselves and are therefore my foundation. We just took a test of the material we reviewed due to its higher difficulty and we have a lot of ground to cover but we also have some time. So I'm trying to make my review the best it can be.

In other non-classroom work, my list seems to grow ever longer of things I would like to do. I recently realized I probably could have done PCV of the week, which I had not applied for due to my perception that there were many more qualified than I. This realization left me bummed but I've realized that I should have been more confident or this situation wouldn't have happened. So, I'm using it to motivate myself to fix the things I thought I lacked: Kiswahili skills and a solid outside project.

I'm trying to ramp up my studying to even more than the one lesson a day. I'm currently doing two lessons and after this week will start more intensive vocabulary work. It's hard to place a finish line but I have a general idea of what I want to be able to do. I want to feel comfortable enough in pretty much any conversation where as now I know I'll survive but not necessarily get everything. Future phases are book reading and listening to the radio or tv. I know this has been a never-ending issue but that's what happens when you live in a country that speaks a different language :P

As for the outside project, the library is going....slowly. I had hopes initially that things would go faster than standard Tanzanian pace but I forgot that the project allowing the library work to happen is being run by others so alas, I'm finding little things to do to fill the time between now and whenever it is that we move the library. I also have made some progress in the hypothetical sense about a new building for the computers and library. The reality is the school is going to have additional students living on the campus next A-level year so the need for a new building is inevitable. However, I think we planning we can make it the library and turn the current one back into the dorm space it is right now. So that's very long term. More practical and in reach is the reorganization of the library into a bigger room with more shelves. I think the biggest change I'm aiming to make is still making it available to students at more hours than one person can offer, but we'll see what we can do.

My idea of making a time management presentation is still hanging around but it has kind of fizzled to the background for now. That's not to say I wouldn't appreciate any articles on sleep patterns, effective study skills, or extracurriculars. I would definitely like to pick this up during my break, so we'll see how it goes.

But the new development is an AIDS day in coordination with my sitemate Katie. We're looking at getting our schools together and teaching the students about the situation here in Mbeya and what they can do about it. It's still in the developmental stages but we've made some contacts and got some agreements. Even though AIDS education is very common around here, there is an issue with the it going from the classroom or seminar to practice in the real world. AIDS is rampant, nearly one in every five or six people has it and much of that is due to the disconnect between awareness and practical applications of education. For example, the students here learn in their Biology class the process for putting on a condom but many school officials feel having a condom demonstration in school is promoting sexual activity. That's an understandable concern but we volunteers often find ourselves arguing for a more practical approach because the age at which people become sexually active here is surprisingly low and often they don't have the proper education by that age. So I will let you know how that progresses! It's exciting to see something start to come together that could really affect someone's life in such a big way as helping them avoid HIV and AIDS!

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on. I saw Kikwete (the TZ prez) last week in a campaign "speech" (it was more of a list of things he did). The cats are doing well and are getting quite big! I'm not sure how much more they'll grow but it can't be too much. That's it for now, I hope things are good in the states!

So I think a short update is warrented today. I learned that I was elected to be the Mbeya Region VAC (Volunteer Advisory Council) representative for the coming year. It's not much of a burden, requiring a few trips to Dar over my service but I'm excited to represent other volunteers in a meaningful way, solving real issues that arise in the field. I would not consider myself the kind of person that goes out and takes leadership roles but I do enjoy being in a position to enact change (when warrented of course!) and improve people's lives, even in small ways. I suppose that's true of all of us here in country, as why would anyone come without the intention of helping those here? Regardless, it's a position I'm looking forward to :)

Speaking of doing little things, I've spent this week organizing and taking inventory in the library. My enthusiasm for the project comes and goes but I find myself enjoying it when I'm in the room. I've come to realize many of the issues with the system in place are just a lack of concern for organization. I know when I was a kid, the parental requests for cleaning and organizing didn't really seem worth it, but as I got older I found myself wanting a clean organized space, especially with information. Now it seems almost ridiculous to ever be so disorganized. Things don't have to be super available but at least know generally where they are so you can get to them if you need. Anyway, things are going well and I'm taking stock of what's available. The actual moving should be happening soon (in Tanzanian terms so within the month). I'm trying to take a long term approach to this and see what it will be like 5 years after I leave, but we'll see what happens. I'm a little concerned I'm getting dangerously close to the giving something and someone take care of it rather than having them build it and see it as something they have to work for. Well for now, it's going well!

That's all for now, I hope things are going well!

So, as I continue my efforts to maintain a dialogue here for those following elsewhere, I have some fairly significant news. The school has aquired, temporarily, another teacher (to add to the seemingly endless stream as of late) that can teach A-level Physics and Math. He is waiting for either a permanent teaching post or an opportunity to continue his higher-education to become a lecturer at university. In the meantime, he can help us here at school. I was not aware of his coming but Monday morning my headmaster cuts into my first period lecture to introduce him. After I finished teaching for the day we began to discuss the situation and what responsibilities he would take on. It became clear that he was looking at teaching all of A-level Physics, to which, I will freely admit, my first reaction was negative. They're my students! I want to be responsible for their education and lead them! It was refreshing to see my own desire to ensure the students' success, as teaching lately has become somewhat monotonous and long. Anyway, after stepping back a bit I'm starting to see this as a very good thing.

First of all, this dramatically reduces my teaching responsibilities, a bit ridiculously. I'm now looking at a schedule of 4 double-periods a week, although that could change as well. Secondly, someone who has been through the material before in a Tanzanian system is in charge of the lecturing. Admittedly, for the Form VI group, we were getting into physics I had seen only once in my life and to a depth much further than I had gone. If it works out that he can only teach through Electronics, then it still will have been worth it because they had that material taught by someone more qualified than I. And thirdly, I now have time to concentrate on projects that are outside of my teaching responsibilites.

In response to this proposition, I decided to go to my headmaster and talk about my options. I explained that while I didn't mind passing on my physics periods, it would leave me dangerously low in the teaching periods I had and I wanted to fill them with another project if nothing else. Through the conversation it became apparent, my suggestions for the library have put me in line to really influence the project by running the transition. Let me explain, the current library is a small room in part of an old house on the school property. There are two other storage rooms and two larger rooms. When the dorm ran out of space for new students at the beginning of the year, a small group of students were put into the library to sleep. Recently, the headmaster decided to have a new room added on to the library to move these students into and then he would like to expand the library into the larger room(s). This new construction had slowed somewhat and a roof was lacking but he said he would call yesterday to check on the progress. Today, there was a wooden frame for the roof up and the metal sheets were sitting beneath them so one way or another things are getting done!

So it appears as if next week I'll be working in developing a new, more functional and most importantly useful, space to work with. I think the idea they have for the library is based on the right ideas, but it has become something that is offered because it is expected to be and motivations for quality are lacking. Anyway, I can further detail this when I get going with real facts and base it less on speculation. Regardless, it seems my reduction in workload and increase in outside of class activity is the ideal scenario, let's hope it works out that way!

That's the big news, and I can't think of much more to add beyond that. I read an interesting passage in my old text book for my urban studies class which I found interesting.

"The problem is not that our suburbs and cities are lacking design but that they are desiged according to failed priciples with flawed implementation. They are designed in accord with modern principles and implemented by specialists. The modernist principles of specialization, standardization, and mass production in emulating our industrial economy had a severe effect on the character of our neighborhoods and regions."

- "Designing the Region" by Calthorpe and Fulton

It goes on to say more specifics about how those factors cause issues on the neighborhood scale but essentially it's pointing out the issues with having highway engineers plan the freeways, retailers plan the commercial developments, and single family home builders planning neighborhoods. You get very bland, repetitive products that have no synthesis between the different functions. In other words, you get suburban America. It makes me wonder what the right amount of specialization is, in everything from urban planning to education.

This is part two of a series about my recent vacation. For part one, start here.

Post Venice, we had a scheduled day at sea, which was the opportunity for rest, Chuck Season 3, relaxation, Scrabble in the Crow’s Nest, the formal dinner, and a show to finish it off. All in all a very relaxing day.

Little did we know, we would need it as the next string of days were all full of lengthy excursions that, while entirely worth it, would drain our energy. It began in Greece, with Olympia, the site of the original Olympics. We had a bit of a bus ride to get up to the site from the port for our ship. The site is kind of cool but really relies on your ability to construct imaginary buildings from the rocks that are laying on the ground. It’s cool to think these are 2500 year old ruins but it can be hard to see beyond the rocks. The first picture is actually ruins from a settlement prior to the establishment as the site of the Olympic Games but it seems to be little more than the outline of a house. I don’t want to sound terribly pessimistic about all of this as I would definitely suggest a visit but it lacks the overwhelming reality of other comparable sites from that era.

After a night on board the ship, we sailed to Corfu, an island city off the northwest coast of Greece. Its site to see was a fort built on a hill that rises above the city and water. It is mostly unused, save a few parts that have modern buildings with things going on in them and a church. There was a lot of unused space but it is easy to see how defensible the position was, rising above its surroundings in all directions. In our infinite wisdom, we took on the hike without water resources and found ourselves quite dehydrated. After a water recharge, we walked leisurely walk through the shopping areas of the city getting souvenirs and gifts on our way back to the boat

The trip overnight brought us to the port of Kotor, Montenegro, beginning my shameless love affair with the small infant nation. The first experience that impressed me was looking out the window to see a large mountain towering over us.

Now I show you this photo so you can get some perspective. The mountains loom large but I had no idea how big they really were. I wish I could show you the progression as we drove up a switchback road along the side of the mountain. It’s one of those “we’re still going?” sort of experiences. Apparently, this road was the most difficult project in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and it shows. But once you get to the top…..

It’s soooo worth it! When we finally made the summit of the road, we had a couple of kilometers into a small community to sample some local food, smoked ham and cheese :D. It was quite tasty.

After snacks we continued on our way, seeing more or the interior of the country. We saw the home of Montenegran Royalty during their time as an independent kingdom. After a highway trip, and a short tour of the tourist town of Budva, we returned to Kotor to see the old city. While the city itself is much like the walled cities of the region on its own, the setting makes it infinitely more Lord of the Rings. The walls actually extend up the side of the mountain to a fort part of the way up, although we didn’t have time to go.

Once we were back on the ship, and we began to cast off, we were told to stay on the decks to watch the sail out. We were so glad we did as the country’s majesty didn’t end at the port. We hadn’t realized during the night that when we came into the port we had traveled through a series of channels to a very well protected body of water, but on the way out we saw it all. There were also two islands, one man-made and one natural, that held a monastery on one and a convent on the other. We sailed between them and the shore trading horn blasts for church bells before orienting ourselves so we could pass through a very narrow channel that was the access point to the bay. No matter which way you looked it was absolutely beautiful and looked like something out of a fairy tale. Believe me when I say I have about 200 pictures I would love to post here, but I just don’t have the means.

That night was the World Cup final between Spain and The Netherlands, and as we were on a boat based in Rotterdam, it was quite the festive atmosphere. They decked out the theatre and we watched the game on the big screen.

Overnight we docked in Split, Croatia, although our excursion took us immediately out of the city to a national park an hour or so away. There is a series of waterfalls on a river that forms quite the experience. The really unique thing there is the area immediately upriver of the main falls where the water lacks a defined channel or path, so it meanders through the woods forming pools and little ponds all over the place. It's almost as if you're walking through a perpetually flooded forest. People living here had learned to use this as an advantage and built mills along the river, creating a community next to the falls. It was even the site of one of the first hydroelectric dams, and the nearby city was one of the first to be electrified world wide. At the base of the falls is a massive community meeting and swimming point. After the park, we traveled to a small town for some lunch before heading into the coastal city of Sibenik to see the church in the old city. It was apparently important for the advancement of structural designs although I was quite tired and less interested at that point.

The bus ride/nap back to Split was enjoyable and we boarded the ship on the second to last boat from land. The evening was the second formal dinner of the trip and so I got to wear my suit one more time, which is good since I hadn’t used it since arriving in Tanzania. The following day was a stop in Trieste, Italy. Originally, the ship was supposed to head to Ravenna but a few days into the cruise we received a letter from the captain saying they had discovered World War II munitions in the bay, so we were changing ports. Quite understandably, in my opinion. However, Katie and I decided we weren’t interested in walking aimlessly around the city for an hour or two and chose to stay aboard. We were also kicked out of Trieste early as there was some event taking place right below the ship on the shore and they wanted us gone before it began. So we sailed back to Venice and arrived by 6 pm. That night, we spent an extra $20 to eat in the fancy restaurant on the ship. Our meal consisted of a massive steak (mine a 20+ oz Porterhouse!) and sides. It was a fine dinner indeed considering it only cost $20 extra and it was definitely a very expensive meal anywhere in the US.

I failed to take many additional pictures once we returned to Venice, although we did little that was terribly exciting. After making our way to the hotel near the airport, we stored our stuff and caught a bus into the city. We found a nice restaurant for lunch and sat watching one of the many small streets in the city. We walked around for a little longer and then returned to the bus. By the way, I found the opposite side of the city to Piazza San Marco much more enjoyable as the crowds were not overwhelming and the atmosphere was essentially the same. The bus was super cheap and with only a little extra walking, you could still see all of Venice you want, but something for next time I suppose!

The next morning, I had to catch an early ride to the airport while Katie waited until noon. The return flight was relatively uneventful although much much longer than I would have liked. I spent an extra day in Dar before returning to site, which was a much needed recharging opportunity. The bus trip went relatively well as I arrived by 7:30 in the evening. Now I’ve been at site for about 2 weeks and things have been going well. School is getting going and we’re making progress. Hopefully I’ll have things to say for that soon as well!

So I have had trouble convincing myself to write things up and be a good blogger as of late but I’m trying to catch up. Here is the first project, and the big news as of late, my trip to Europe to see Katie.

When I first proposed joining the Peace Corps, Katie was a friend who was in the background of my life, although I’d be lying if I didn’t say I had interest. Anyway, as the process of applying to the Peace Corps advanced so too did our relationship. In fact, it was only a week before we officially started dating that I sat in my Peace Corps interview and said I was not in a relationship. Once it became more obvious that the Peace Corps was a part of my future we planned to enjoy our time together but consider taking a step back once it came time for me to leave. As the date drew closer we came to the realization that we really wanted to go through this experience as together as we could and I don’t think either of us regrets that decision in the slightest. I can only speak for myself, but she has been very supportive for me, and often here I find I need almost daily support :P Katie left for school in August and I left for Tanzania in September, so it had been a little of 10 months since we last saw each other face to face. I think we’re still too close to the experience to put time in perspective, but I have a new found appreciation for my grandparents’ generation and the sacrifices they made for wars. It’s easy to hear someone needing to serve overseas for 2 years but I cannot imagine what it must have been like with letters as the only form of communication and the nature of the work was life threatening. My situation seems to pale in comparison when I think in those terms. Regardless, 10 months is a long time and we were looking forward to the gathering for sure.

But naturally, it started off terribly….well that depends what you call the start. Garrett had been visiting me at site and we traveled together to Morogoro to see my host family. They were as accommodating as ever preparing us a feast for each meal and doing way more than any Peace Corps ever considers when preparing a place to sleep. We’re pretty satisfied with a pillow and a blanket if it’s cold. We were given fully made beds with as many sheets as we did or didn’t want and a fan if it was too warm, which I have to admit was closer to accurate. My range of tolerable temperatures has definitely reduced in size enormously as I think my experience here does not push my range above 20 degrees from hot to cold. Anyway, we left the next morning and my family continued to outdo themselves arranging for a ride once we were in Dar es Salaam. So, after the afternoon was spent traveling around Dar grabbing food and relaxing, our good luck was well used up.

The story from KLM is that the plane broke down and the one they sent to replace it was smaller, so I was one of the lucky 96 people who were rerouted and delayed to the next day. The real problem was the fact that I didn’t just get pushed back to the next morning, I got pushed back to the next NIGHT. So I lost a full 24 hours right off the bat. Once the struggle of reframing my next day as one being in Dar began to pass, I started to feel much better as KLM really paid off our burden by putting us up in the DoubleTree with food paid for. While I still would have traded that day in the hotel for one in Venice, I felt somewhat better. So, the result was, instead of a Dar-Amsterdam-Venice itinerary, I had a Dar-Nairobi-Paris-Venice trip. I walked on the ground in both Nairobi and Paris so to some degree you could argue I’ve been to Kenya and France now but that’s debatable. I did however see the Eiffel Tower from only an airplane window and a few thousand feet away! Anyway, after a relatively uneventful set of flights, I arrived in Venice.

We coordinated a water taxi ride from the airport to the hotel, which was crazy expensive for one but a really cool way to enter the city. If you can find a group of 5 it ends up being more worth it because it’s comparable to the Water Bus and takes you straight to the door. After a shower, and a rather lengthy wait to check out, we were finally on our way to the boat.

It was apparently the maiden voyage of the Nieuw Amsterdam and it was quite the ship. We, however, did not get to enjoy the private balcony or big windows in our room. We were on the first floor with the smallest windows. Not the smallest in the picture but the second smallest and yet, it was more than sufficient. Inside the room it took up half the wall so we had no complaints about visibility. Besides, if we wanted to look out, the upper decks provided fantastic views. We eventually made our way upstairs for departure and the boat was tugged out of its stall with very impressive maneuvering on the tugboat’s part.

We began the trip by sailing down the canal between the main city of Venice, on the left, and the barrier islands on the right.

While I have a picture from pretty much every inch of the sail out, I’ll just put a couple...

Afterwards, we made our way to the dining hall and had our first dinner aboard the ship in its massive, two-floor dining room, complete with a bottle of chardonnay. Then the rest of the evening was spent exploring the ship, with the product being the discovery of one of our go to places. Called the Crow’s Nest, it was a library/coffee shop/lounge sort of place that took the top floor at the front of the ship. We decided to head to sleep early as traveling and time changes all rolled into being quite exhausted.

When we awoke we were already beginning to enter the area of Dubrovnik, Croatia. A mix of islands and sailboats greeted us on the way into the port.

After a switch to the cruise’s hired bus we drove into the old part of Dubrovnik for our kayaking excursion, which was based out of the most picturesque little cove I have ever encountered.

After instructions, the ever awkward boarding process, and getting ourselves stuck on a submerged rock we were ready to go! The old walls of Dubrovnik surrounded the city that was once an important regional port. We paddled around the bay and viewed the city from every water angle possible. It is quite a magnificent place. We stopped for some lunch and snorkeling at a small cave before returning to our launch point.

After a quick return to the ship to change out of water (and sweaty :P) gear we caught a bus back to walk through town. It had a massive fire at one point where the decided wood was no longer allowed so the old city is built entirely out of white stone, making it all seem very coordinated if nothing else.

After another light evening of drinks and conversation, we woke the next morning back in Venice. While those unfortunate 3-day sailors disembarked we were put into a “bus” (in Venice, a boat) to take to our excursion to the glass making island Murano.

After a tour of the glass factory and its incredibly expensive chandeliers (upwards of 100,000 euro) we hopped back on the bus to Burano, a small but lovely and more hospitable version of Venice. Apparently, the colors of the different houses are such a valued attribute that you do not have the right to paint your house, but the product is quite attractive. I think Katie and I agreed that any real estate investments made on our part in the Venetian community would be on this island. Dream big!

So that’s part one of the trip. Tune back in later for the rest!

Hello again, so I've once again fell behind in my blogging (surprise!) but I'm here to say I'm very much planning to catch up! I have devoting some time to my blog daily as part of my list this week and I think I have the time and the commitment to do it. And now I have the words written as well, which makes me accountable to more than just some ink on a paper which I can frequently talk my way out of :P Anyway, so much has happened since my last post I'll start with a general overview, because many of these deserve individual posts and I hope to give them.

So, if I'm not mistaken, my last post was pre-girls conference. We, about 15 volunteers, each took a group of girls to Mbeya for a 4.5 day girls empowerment conference. All in all we had almost 70 girls. Topics ranged everywhere from goal setting to social expectations to.......ladies health education. It's interesting to see the way culture affects the empowerment of women and while in theory girls are often "able" to achieve what they dream, the practical side of things tells a different story. I'll go through this week with its own post and pictures but for now I'll leave you with an internet scavenger hunt. There is on the internet somewhere a video of the volunteers dancing "All the Single Ladies" at the talent show.

Following the conference was a few days of downtime which included a hike of Loleza Peak, the third highest mountain in the region. I fully intend to complete the two coming in ahead of it in the future but when that occurs I'm not sure.

Then, Michael Garrett arrived taking the claim of my first international visitor. It was nice to see someone from home and share the wonderful world of southern Tanzania. I was initially unsure of what exactly I wanted to do during the week of his stay but it turned out to be highly successful as we reached the Bridge of God, climbed halfway up Loleza, saw Utengule, and finally Matema Beach. I've realized that in terms of the Mbeya checklist, I really only need a meteorite, a second crater lake, and two mountains to hit the big ones. We were fortunate to share our Matema time with friends including another PCV from Mali! I had intended to add pictures to this section/post as well but unfortunately we did not get to share photos and my camera was mostly inactive.

At the end of the week we traveled to Morogoro to see my host family. They were, as always, the most incredible hosts and went well over the top in terms of sleeping arrangements, food, and service. We got a ride back to the bus stand and then my host brother called a friend who picked us up at the main stand in Dar es Salaam and took us around for the day. But, as all luck must balance out, my attempt to leave the country that night failed. While this trip will be detailed much more (probably too much more) thoroughly in the dedicated post I can say that KLM kicked me off my flight and delayed me almost a full day because of airplane troubles, although they did try to make it up by putting me up, all food and room paid for, in the DoubleTree on the bay :P

When I finally did get out of the country and to Venice, I found myself on one of the most beautiful 10 day vacations I could imagine (locations and girl included!). For those who don't know, Katie and I went on a cruise out of Venice as a graduation gift/vacation/reuiniting endeavor. We traveled Venice to Dubrovnik, Croatia, to Venice (for those poor 3-day cruisers), to Olympia, Greece, to Corfu, Greece, to Kotor, Montenegro, to Split, Croatia, to Trieste, Italy, and back to Venice. Yes, I have been to Montenegro! Have you? :P I've heard of the beauties of Greece for many years but I never could have imagined the beauty in that region of the world, especially Montenegro. It was unbelievable and fairy-tale-esque and I thoroughly reccomend a visit. I could write on this topic forever but that's what the next few days are for.

And alas, now I am back. I'm sitting in my bed, with my three cats curled up and warming my legs. It's raining outside, as it is always here, and I'm debating a Chuck episode. So things are settling back down, which is good. I know there are any number of cliches about knowing more once you leave something, but it is true for sure. I don't know that I have things worked out yet, in fact, I probably never will, being a planner who always wants to tweak. But I do feel much more comfortable than I did 3 days ago, and intensely more comortable than I did a year ago. I think right now (as in the second I'm writing this because these sorts of feelings change every 20 seconds or so for me) I'm more comfortable with the uncertainty of the specifics. We shall see, but after one day back in the classroom, I'm feeling intensely better about the future!

So look for more updates to come. Two specific posts and then hopefully more consistent maintenance after that. Thanks for reading! May God Bless you and keep you :)

I just returned from the library with a frustrating realization about the students here at the school. They study from when they wake up to when they go to sleep, or are expected to be in a study-like environment other than meal times essentially. And the kicker? Some students only sleep 3 HOURS TOTAL a night. That is ridiculous! So, the leadership of my school has shown responsiveness to scientific documentation and I think identifying the perils of such little sleep is a problem. Unfortunately, my NetID does not work for the Cornell library anymore. I’m not sure if that’s because I need to pay for it or just because I’m in Africa but oh well. What I would love, is a few articles sent that give a suggestion on how much sleep a high school student needs to effectively absorb information. Also, I think it would be great if there was some sort of study on the effects of continual studying without a break. The Tanzanian thought process is that if I study more that will directly translate to better scores, which causes them to study for an unnatural amount of the day. They do not understand that taking time off is a valuable part of the learning process, be it for sleep or just a mental break. I need to prove that point that was made at every state orchestra concert; that students who do a variety of other activities do really well in school. I know I’m not here to tell people how to do things but I feel obligated to at least present the information. So, if you know of a good article or have access to a college library search tool and can offer me a study or two, I would greatly appreciate it.

I decided the other day, when I was organizing my shelf full of books to take stock of the books I’ve read since arriving in Tanzania. It has undoubtedly been the most literature intensive 6 months of my life since the days of my monthly Animorph books (which I still semi-proudly own every single one of!) But anyway, here’s the list (and I may have forgotten a book or two):

Oracle Night, Paul Auster

The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis

Moon Palace, Paul Auster

Halo: The Fall of Reach, Eric Nylund

Halo: The Flood, William Dietz

Halo: First Strike, Eric Nylund

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

The New Great Game, Lutz Kleveman

Contact Zero, David Wolstencroft

Twilight, Stephenie Meyer

New Moon, Stephenie Meyer

Eclipse, Stephenie Meyer

Breaking Dawn, Stephenie Meyer

I know. I know. The Twilight books? Well, on the one hand they’re a fast read and semi entertaining, but unnecessarily long. But really, my best excuse is that Hannah spent the money to send them here which means I needed to read them. Since I started them, however, I have received a mountain of books from a collection at Ascension (which I still need to write a thank you message for, so if you were involved, THANK YOU!). So I have read probably a little over ¾ of a shelf so far and have about 3 ¼ more shelves to go. Some titles coming soon are Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, a historical account of the battle for Stalingrad, perhaps The Working Poor, and any of the thriller or science fiction books that I acquired in the mail. I’m excited about my shelf and I’m realizing just how much I do still enjoy reading, both novels and things more academic. So, onward!

While we’re on the topic of extracurriculars, be they athletic or reading or otherwise, I’m realizing their role in my life. Being someone who identified with the hard science most in school it seemed like those outlets were more of a secondary tier of time usage and while that to some degree is quite true, I’m seeing that the top tier wouldn’t have functioned without them. Here I’m struggling to do any of the activities I most enjoyed in the states. My athletic outlets are very limited as the school does not have adequate space due to its urban setting and my musical outlets here are limited to the singing of religious songs since I didn’t even bring my viola overseas. It’s a struggle to balance the situation and I miss them a lot, but as time goes on and I continue to make an effort, I’m sure I’ll find a way to satisfy those wishes. I do recognize though, that I don’t have a great track record. At Cornell I found myself needing an extra push to go to a theatre production (be it a friend in the show or…..*coughfeelingsfortheproducercough* :P) but once I went, I always asked myself why I didn’t go all the time. I can see that potentially occurring here so I need to be proactive to fix it. We’ll see what I can do and if I can create an environment where athletics and fine arts are viewed as a catalyst to effective learning and being good citizens. Maybe that’s what I can offer this community above and beyond teaching. I’ve been looking for something. Maybe this could be it!

I’m finding a serious lack of time to get all my work done, including writing here, in the time spans that I assign for it. Things that I feel like I should be able to get through in a productive day require a week to accomplish, and while maybe this is just a streak of misunderstanding the volume of work in my commitments, I’m troubled by the vastness of the gap between what I think I have time for and what I don’t. I suppose I’m not being fair in considering my work for school part of the list of things to check off. It’s what I do each day and usually a good, effective day’s work requires more work on following days. I’m lacking the common sense to realize that if I get by one week and not have the time for everything, doing those things plus an additional pile of work isn’t likely to happen the next week. My admiration for my high school teachers is only increasing as I realize just how much time they spent in order to offer the level of education they did. It’s really quite amazing.

So anyway, the news worth knowing isn’t too great. I have reduced the feline population in my house to 4 but it did not occur quite like I expected. The first cat to go was actually Chichi, as she had just become too high maintenance for my situation. The opportunity we found to send her on was sudden and well timed as the kittens were eating on their own but also drinking mom’s milk. There was, however, a slight failure in the execution of the plan. My friend, and fellow PCV, was taking her to a friend near his site but needed to make a pit stop first. While attending other matters, the cat escaped. While not really a huge problem, the amusing fact is that the place he was at is about a 20 minute walk from the school I accepted her from. She found her way back and I can say the volunteer and teachers there were not terribly thrilled. The next weekend, Andrew came back with orders for two more kittens and so now I’ve reduced my population from 7 to 4, with plans to reduce to two….males! Felix and Magellan are the brothers I have left who will be staying and the two girls will in time head to new homes.

On the academic front, lecture is continuing. My form 6 class is continuing to forge ahead and I’m happy to say we’re looking slightly ahead of my new schedule! Which at this point, is very welcome news as we’re still a month or two behind where we realistically should be. I am entering material that did not make much sense to me in college so my preparation is slow and meticulous. I always heard teaching a subject was the last step in learning it and I am being converted as I am learning far better than I ever did in my college physics class. Labs are a challenge, due to the combination of unfamiliarity with the subject significantly ahead of teaching it and the lack of experience of working out of a lab environment where everything you need is waiting for you. But we’re making our way. Another struggle is balancing teaching as best I can and teaching how the kids expect me to. I realize that the system here is different, and their approach to learning material has been drilled into them over the last 10 or so years, but is it really that hard to change gears? And, if you can’t, how do you expect to function in a world where most problems need unique solutions. It’s interesting to see the difficulties some people have with outside of the box thinking. We went through two tailors who could not decompose a jacket and skirt and make it into a long sleeve shirt before finally succeeding. Each tailor’s excuse was that it was too much work in the head. Kazi kubwa! So they wanted extra money, but preferred we go buy an entirely new cloth so they could follow the step by step process they’ve learned. Instilling creative thinking is a goal of mine but I feel as though I’m not doing the best job. I’ll have to work on that.

I’ve hit a minor bump in the Swahili process. I had a good three weeks of solid daily Swahili practice, but lately I’ve been sacrificing it when higher priorities take longer. But I have had more good moments where I feel like I’m comprehending more lately, so I want to build on the momentum and try to keep up the learning.

In outside projects, I’m approaching a finished product on my latest transit proposal. Although, anyone who knows me in this context knows it’s never done as I’ve been toying with the same basic idea for around 5 years now. I do feel like this is a better version of what I’ve had before. More practical and certainly more affordable, while still offering much of the opportunities of my other iterations. Seeing the effects of the oil spill in the gulf (admittedly through the lenses of my pro-multimodalist sources of news and analysis) makes it seem as though the dangers of a purely fossil fuel powered society are currently in the spotlight. While it’s easy for the largest cities in America to approach mass transit as a solution to congestion and increasing density, smaller urban centers see them as unjustifiable costs. However, that inherently perpetuates the current problem that only two years ago was becoming a national nightmare before the recession distracted people from it. We need to look at solutions to the problems in communities of all sizes. I think people often see transit enthusiast as anti-car but the reality is a car is a central part (and one I really enjoy!) of life in America. But what if we had an America where not every of-age person required one and people could live an effective lifestyle sharing one vehicle per household? It requires a lot of investment for sure, but I wonder if people could live the lives they want with that. That’s still way better than what people get here in Tanzania.

To continue my pattern of useless discussion, I want to point out the Royals are 9-5 since the Hillman era ended and the Yost era began. I looked back on my last post regarding the Royals and it was actually the game Hillman had been fired before but it wasn’t announced until afterwards. I’m not sure what the difference is now, but this team definitely seems more capable. It’s the same team but it absolutely is not, which brings hope for the future! Just like Billy’s .348 average :)

Well, this post has already fallen into the took-way-longer-than-anticipated category. I have a long list of things I could do today, and only lack the urgency because I have another day of weekend left. We’ll see if I can make it a productive day. Only two more weeks till my next break, which these days feels like a blink of an eye. Hope you have a good weekend!

Welcome to Picture Blog Post Number Two!

I'll start you off with some wildlife. This was taken off my back porch, although the tree he's sitting in has since had some trouble as you will see later!

We went on a walk to see hot springs one weekend while in Mbeya town. This was the walk to the property, complete with a little piece of home!

But turns out this was the hot springs. It was about as warm as a hot bath, not that you could fit in it to take one. But the view was gorgeous, this is Mbeya region after all!

The land we were on is a stone quarry and these massive blocks lay everywhere. They simply cut them out of the wall as it is all stone!

We were then taken to the Bat Caves, profiled as the second billing but they made up for everything the hot puddle lacked! I don't have good pictures of inside it, just this approach and the following of the hole in the top.

Inside there were holes in the floor that went down for well beyond the light of our flashlights which was quite intimidating but we were with people who knew the landscape well and all survived.

Back at home, this was the morning after a Kumbi Kumbi attack, which is a 4 winged termite (I'm told) that comes out this time of year. They died attacking my front porch light. Chichi was quite content however as she really enjoys these snacks!

Next is our hike to Kaparogwe Falls, just southwest of Tukuyu. It was sold as a nice waterfall....which is a ridiculous understatement. First you walk through farms along a footpath and cross this creek.

Then you walk up a hill and around a corner and it all of a sudden is visible. A massive waterfall that you can walk back underneath. This is the view from in the indention in the rock behind the falls about halfway down it's fall.

Looking out from underneath.

And my favorite the whole falls. Now to give you an idea of just how big it is, if you can zoom in at all, Katie and Linda are sitting behind the falls in the indention, and they aren't very tall (relatively of course :P)

Next Stop: Matema Beach! This relatively quiet resort is on the northern shores of Lake Malawi. It is absolutely gorgeous and a wonderful mix of real Tanzania and resortiness. It was a nice break from school and everything else but it wasn't out of Tanzania at all.

It's pretty cool because from the right vantage point, as far north as Tukuyu and Mt. Rungwe, you can see these mountains and the lake shore on a clear day.

It was a relaxing weekend full of kiti moto, volley ball, and beach campfires, which it's advisable not to step in barefoot as Theo learned.

During my In Service Training in Iringa, Chichi gave birth to six kittens. This is them maybe 2-3 weeks old.

The rainy season caused some of the soil near my house to weaken and problems happened. We got it down without causing too much damage but it could have been much worse!

Recently, we've been doing a better job visiting each other. Granted it helps when Katie's school is having a dance with Theo's school and they provide free (and direct!) transportation!

Finally, this was our trip to Ngozi Crater. Hiking began at the highway through generally open plains until we reached what looked like a little path headed under a small group of trees. It became a legitimate jungle and this was one of the more open spots.

Our path turned much denser when we started to actually climb the mountain.

After about an hour, we finally reached the the rim of the caldera. The picture doesn't do it justice but it was quite a drop on both sides of the narrow path!

This is the clearest picture we got of the lake. It's quite a ways below the overlook but still way above the surrounding countryside.

This is Katie, Tristan, and I at the top. Tulishinda!

Taking into consideration that my comments here are really just a microcosm of my current emotions, but also considering the fact that I’m more inclined to write when I am trying to wrestle through things in my head, I’m frustrated. I tend to only want to write when I feel like what I have to say is something worth listening to, although I’m making the rather brash assumption what I deem worthy is what others need/want to hear. So, my point in all this drivel is that I’m going to try to stop saying anything “meaningful” and start saying….something.

So the last two days have been somewhat unusual in terms of my life so far as a Tanzanian teacher. I have been invigilating (fancy British English – I think – term for proctoring) exams. And today I acquired 5 rulers, two erasers, and very nearly two ripped up tests during the exam. I saw every way of cheating I could have imagined possible and then some more. I’m pretty sure one girl had some notes in her shirt and then when she needed them pulled her arms inside like she was cold and kinda stretched out her sweater so she could read between her shirt and her sweater. What can I do for that one? So I feel the need to give her props on her creative ingenuity that massively outshone the girl who turned around to compare tests with her friend.

But my frustrations of late have to do with more than that, as I’m still struggling through the material and being a good, effective teacher isn’t quite the process I thought it would be. It’s humbling to say the least. I consider myself someone who thinks through problems logically and I feel like one of my greatest strengths is the ability to break a problem down and see it in parts. I thought if I introduced ideas the this way with a focus on the atoms building up to the molecule it would be clear and digestible the first time through. Oh, what little do I know. The funny thing is, I keep coming back to the problem of the parent, where because I said so is what you want to say because you know you’re right and because right now, you just can’t think of a really solid explanation. But that wont fly, and you’re expected to have reasons and explanations on the spot. Partially I brought this on myself, as I encouraged students to ask questions and press for the why. But now the stereotypical Tanzanian give the students notes to copy approach seems really nice.

It’s a struggle, battling between this idea of who you want to be to these people and the parts of your life you didn’t imagine sacrificing for it. I would consider my situation one of constant flux where I’m on a teeter-totter walking from one seat to the other constantly on the ground, and never in the middle balancing. I think I’ve expressed my discontent before but like what I said when I started, this is a little bit of self-therapy. Honestly, I’m not upset with the students (ok my students, I am upset with the testing students) or the administration or any of that. As a matter of fact, my relations with my peer walimu are only improving J. I’m upset with myself because I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do to get stuff done and I just can’t sometimes. I find it amusing how much of the personal growth you’re supposed to get in college, I can see happening to me here. I don’t know that it didn’t happen in Ithaca, but this sort of second go-round is nice. Theo, another volunteer in my area, and I were chatting over lunch one day about how we find ourselves surrounded by textbooks writing our lesson plans and we realize this is what we should have been doing for the last 4 years. Sadly, it takes having someone else depend on me to get myself adequately motivated, and like I said before, I still can’t make myself do it all the times I need to. And I’m spent….

On to more interesting things. We left Seattle and moved to the heartland in terms of weather. After that freaky week-long rain (which was apparently about a third of its usual length) we’re now seeing crystal clear mornings with increasing clouds during the afternoon and a return to cloudless skies in the evening. For some reason, Rungwe looks much more ominous without the clouds. There’s one particular view of it in town where every time I see it from that angle I realize it’s a pretty large mountain and it’s a volcano on top of that. Dormant for a long time of course but it’s fun to imagine myself as a young Pierce Brosnan in Dante’s Peak 2: African Killer saving people in the final minutes before the eruption.

Lately, I’ve been helping type exams. It’s strange how copying something from hand written to a screen in front of you can be way more soporific than reading news articles on that same screen. I suppose there’s the subject matter but it’s surprising how quickly I find myself nodding off when typing

I still have seven felines in my house. One option to get rid of a kitten fell through and I’m waiting for my others to as well, it only seems appropriate. Chichi brought in a mouse earlier, she looked rather pleased with herself but the kitten that took it just growled at anyone else who came close so I’m not sure we’re promoting good family values in this house.

I also got the box of books sent from the youth group at church this week. Let me rephrase, the 3 boxes of books and 1 box of signs are now taking up my living room. I will be sending a more formal thank you but the Peace Corps Volunteer book network appreciates your gifts! Books are passed around here like gossip so they will get good use.

In other news, the Royals have been awful. Zack’s in line for the win right now but we haven’t given the ball to the bullpen yet. Check that. They just put Tejeda in for Greinke. Let the fun begin! This internet is both a blessing and a curse. It allows me the freedom to write when I want to (not that I do as much as I should) but it also allows me to monitor severe weather outbreaks during the evenings in Kansas which translates to 2 am here. So, there are some downsides :P Not that I could do anything to change that, I mean it’s really out of my control. I HAVE to watch.

I welcome questions in the comments sections, or through email if you want to know something but I just haven’t touched on it. I lose sight of the fact that me living in Africa seems mysterious and far away because it’s all so normal now, but if you have questions about culture, lifestyle, or anything in particular, I’ll be happy to narrate excessively for you. Ok, back to a good mood! Partially due to talking it out, and partially due to a double play by the Royals where they’ve had runs scored against them so far this year.

So things are progressing slower than I might have liked out of the gate but it’s probably to be expected. Current plans for post-IST projects are still in the planning stages and we’ll see how things progress. But in general school news, I’m not teaching the Advanced Math portion of the PCM (Physics Chemistry Math) combination. While a little bummed, I think this is a very good thing. I have a bad habit of biting off way more than I can chew to balance out my laziness at times and I think diving into 4 different syllabuses in 5 different classes would have been a bit much. So now, I instead have 3 syllabuses in 4 classes which looks to be plenty large a load, especially if I’m successful in getting outside projects off the ground. Which projects will be successful? We will see. I’m currently putting my focus on getting off to a strong start with teaching in the classroom and improving the library as a resource. I think that after these two, projects involving a garden and perhaps HIV and AIDS education could be in the works. I’m learning that I am not going to be told what to do beyond teach these classes and if any of these projects are going to happen, I need to be assertive. And since assertiveness is something I’ve always lacked, this will be a good exercise!

Not much other news on the home front. My kittens are starting to look outside of their sleeping space. They level of cuteness is nearing its maximum as they begin to act like cats but still have that baby waddle and fall on occasion. While it’s all very fun to watch, I’m constantly nervous about when they start looking for more food beyond mom’s milk. I could see that being a very expensive situation once they start to grow and have to eat to maintain that growth. Hopefully I’ll have found suitable families for homes by then.

In other news, I just finished reading a book called The New Great Game about oil and its impacts on the Central Asian region. While intended to be first a snapshot of the situation in the area and how oil access dictates it, it certainly paints a dark picture about American intentions in the region. I suppose everyone has their own opinion about why the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are ongoing but I’m feeling less optimistic about our motivations entering them. Regardless, that’s not really my point. The fact is that almost every major player in the region is inevitably tied to oil as it seems to be the only source of money. Often, that money finds its way into the pockets of the country’s elite and not to the public coffers, empowering a ruling class that frequently does not have the well being of their constituents in mind. Those facts made our deals with the governments, allowing bases or other concessions for the war in Afghanistan, worse as we legitimized very undemocratic and oppressive governments. But in addition to that, the book highlighted just how much of our foreign policy, much of it big brotherish in nature, was focused on ensuring a supply of cheap oil. It also highlighted how foreign public opinion of Bush Administration America was decidedly negative as a result. This all got me to thinking about my responsibilities as an ambassador of the US. As much as I’d like to not think so, I am the most powerful image of the US to my students and fellow teachers. The media can say what it wants, and if that’s the primary source of information they’ll probably believe it. But if I contradict the message, my one-on-one relationship is going to have significantly more power. The perception is often that Americans are arrogant and self-centered and sadly, that can easily be proven. Making an effort to balance between giving help and humility can be a challenge at times, especially when you feel like you know the right answer. Americans used to be perceived as the forefathers of democracy and freedom, the shining light in darkness, etc. but now, many see that freedom as something deteriorated to a greedy monster which will only help you if it’s in its best interests. Regardless of our motivations for our actions, I feel like our ability to do good in the world is entirely dependent on the belief that we stand for a free way of life. Without others looking up to us, we can’t carry out our foreign policy, good or bad. Therefore, I see the value of organizations like Peace Corps beyond simply educating some 150 students. But the nation also has to consider sacrificing some amenities like $1.50 a gallon gas in order to maintain the respect and positive feeling from the rest of the world.

I’m getting tired so I can’t say too much more, but I do want to mention something to all my Sedgwick County Readers. I saw on the Wichita Business Journal website the other day that the Intrust Bank Arena ranked in the 45th in the world for ticket sales in the quarter. Now I know it helps that it’s a new venue etc. but let’s remember that it’s generally considered about 5000 seats too small for a major arena. I acknowledge that I haven’t been in town, but from what I see in the news, parking has not been the ridiculous disaster it was supposed to be. And if I remember right, the project was on budget with the tax ending when it said it would, and the opening was only slightly behind the original schedule. So, done right and well is the moral of the story. Perhaps I’m missing things, I’m sure someone would have a list for me if I asked, but that seems like success story based on increasing taxes slightly for a very specific purpose. So instead of using the name of an event that occurred because of a lack of representation not a lack of your own ideas having the majority of representation, let’s sit at a table, talk through things and get stuff done. I’m tired of American politics, or what the media wants to show me. I really hope this is a byproduct of the recession and everyone is just being more vocal about fixing the problem and people can actually have an open debate with reason, understanding, and compromise once things improve. I really really hope.

Sorry for the long absence, I’ve had a lot to do. And yet, nothing to do at the same time. But that’s a discussion for a bit later. To make a short wrap up of the last month and a half, I finished school (a week early), bummed around for two weeks, then went to Iringa for a training. Now, today, I just finished an 8 hour trip involving 3 coasters (a vehicle that is about halfway between the size of a small bus and a 15 passenger van) and lots of naps and I’m sitting in my house with 6 kittens squealing from the other room. So, much is new.

I’ve found Peace Corps to be an amazingly varied experience. With the right people in the right room saying the right things, changing the world is easy. But when it comes to traveling alone squished 5-to-a-row on 4 seat rows for 8 hours, that SUV and sub sandwich sounds awfully nice. It was surprising how much seeing my fellow group mates impacted me but once I realized that, it was not surprising how much it I didn’t enjoy seeing them go. Yes, I have an awesome region with awesome volunteers I can see frequently, but if some is good, more is better, right? I feel motivated to travel, which is a nice thing seeing as before I left I found myself in a contented indifference to much else in Tanzania beyond my immediate surroundings.

I hate big posts because I never know what to say and what to let go. I think I’m going to try to work through my thoughts on the training sessions in individual posts here so I can kind of use this as an opportunity to organize my thoughts. So, look forward to such scintillating topics as corporal punishment, HIV and AIDS, gardening, and more! :P

Anyway, my musings for today mostly have to do with my motivation, which is somewhat linked to what I said before I left. I’m feeling motivated to study Swahili again! I expected that because despite my lethargic tendencies I am aware of how little I know. Now we just have to make it happen. I also am looking forward to starting a secondary project. I haven’t matched my thoughts up with my school’s desires but we shall see what happens. I’m thinking permagardening would be a good project given our space issues on campus. But I also can see the need for an improved library. We shall see what all is involved but I just really want to identify a project that everyone is excited about so it keeps going after I’m gone. I want to have a sit down with my headmaster so when that happens I’ll update you on the future.

Outside of sessions talking about a wide range of things, I had a fantastic time with the people. I reconnected with the guy I shadowed during training and met several new people. Each night was usually an opportunity to chat with nearly everyone and fill in the last three months. I found that my connections and opinions of many people had changed. Maybe not dramatically, but I feel like I can relate to everyone more now, for obvious reasons, and that in turn made me understand many more of their……unique tendencies. But, it was awesome to have one of those situations where you realize, the people here are exactly who you need right now. They’re the right balance of activities you always enjoy no matter how horrible you are (basketball) and getting you to enjoy something you never enjoy because they’re just the right group to make it work (dancing). I recognize that it’s hard to stay in touch with everyone you’d like to but I think it’s important to do it with those who you can. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have devoted friends over the years, and where I’ve failed, often they have succeeded. I’m still nursing a pen pal relationship from age 7/8 and a few days together so somewhere something is going right.

So, with that I’ll end on a positive note. I’m so tired, but I’m finishing the day with motivation to continue. Continue work, continue relationships, and continue this lifestyle (although returning to the squatter after 2 weeks with a lovely western toilet may be the most difficult of all).

It seems to me that life can be described in many ways, but one way that has been highlighted recently is categorizing life into two forms, those with and without passion. It takes a special kind of person to leave the comforts of home and do work with foreign people in a foreign land. Now, before it starts sounding too much like I’m patting myself on the back let me say that I’m not sure I’m the best kind of person for this kind of work, I may not even be a good kind. I could see, within 24 hours, the passion that my group of volunteers had for the task they were committing themselves to. It may not have been as evident for each character in the story of Peace Corps Tanzania Education class 2009, but there was a genuine willingness to do meaningful work. The problem is simple; passion fades. If excitement were constant, it wouldn’t be important. So the question is what goes beyond passion, beyond excitement. Passion is an intensely powerful force. It makes the irrational rational, the general unique, and the stupid quite reasonable. It can be found for ultimately anything, a sport, a work of art, a career, a god, and hopefully for each of us, a person. It can also be incredibly unhealthy, as passion for a multitude of things destroys multitudes of lives every day. However, what I have been struggling with as of late is an unfulfilled passion for passion. It is incredibly easy to do something when your entire body delights in its required action. However, the self-control required to push yourself through those times when you feel passion-less is a challenge I have yet to master. Compounding this problem is successful procrastination. Nothing reinforces laziness as effectively as successfully avoiding work without consequence. So, back to PC TZ ED 09. It’s easy to be excited and passionate on the bus ride to the airport before leaving, but day 179 in country is a better measure for the passions of your group. Are the motivations still the passion for the world? Or now perhaps your passion is for a job that pays you a living wage, even if it is in a third world country. Do two people with those very different fuels for their fires have any difference in the outcome? If both motivations are equally as strong, passion, in theory, will produce the same product. Ignoring the capitalist argument about the second person needing to be rewarded with more money for more work, it would seem that those benefiting from each volunteer get the same thing out of the deal. So then, does it matter why we’re here, assuming, of course, that each gives their best effort? Does it matter what passion is driving our work, as long as we’re getting the work done? Honestly, I know it’s more complicated than the presence or absence of relevant passion but when you’re facing the paper piles that must be graded, or read, or cleaned, passion for doing what you must is an incredible boost.

UPDATE: The advantages of not posting right away are I get to kind of read between the lines of what I wrote later. Basically this was my way of venting on how I can't motivate myself very often, but hoping that the ensuing IST would. For more on that, read above!

So my internet expansion during my last semester at Cornell and the following summer before Peace Corps led me to redefine my information gathering experience into more of a blog-oriented experience. Here in TZ, that has actually become quite an advantage as the blogging websites frequently ignore the flashy in-your-face media of the internet information powerhouses and go more for content. One can argue about the value of this content but no one can deny its massive existence. And I think nothing embodies that more than the link dump. While I will link you to absolutely no where with this post, it offers me the opportunity to say quick ideas about things in my life that seem otherwise insignificant and not worthy of posting. Because let’s be honest, life is not made up of extravagant events after fantastic adventures, it’s made up of the good days and the bad, which can be classified one way or another by the smallest of events.

So here it goes….

Thoughts from around the house:

- Cooking was said to be a challenge, and I’ve found that to be both true and not. On the one hand, much of the Tanzanian food choices do take quite a bit of time and effort but planning can allow you very easy meals from time to time. I completely understand the choice to have someone do the cooking for you if you can afford it though. I’ve made it easier on myself by splurging on a few “extras” but if you ignore the start up time for a stick fire, cooking is similar in nature (speed-wise). But I do have a newfound appreciation for family cooks in the US. There is really no way to make a good balanced meal in anything shorter than 30 minutes.

- Fresh fruit is wildly underrated. Granted, it helps that I live in a place where the mango I buy probably fell off a tree down the street a few hours earlier (which means it needs to sit for 3-4 days to ripen but that’s beside my point). Regardless, a pineapple for breakfast (or lunch or dinner) is quite a pleasant experience :D

- Sugar goes on everything. My dinner tonight was kind of a potato stew in which I threw into the mashed potatoes every veggie that was on its way out in my cabinet. So I fried them in some sunflower oil and threw some sugar on. This is my latest experiment, and a success too! Mmmmm caramelized vegetables!

- Preparation is really necessary in food/drink. I can’t count how many nights I’ve wanted something more dynamic but thought about dinner too late, resulting in some variation of spaghetti with variations on top. Also, I have to boil my water, which obviously has to cool before I can drink it. I also run it through a filter, which takes quite a while. So I’ve come to the conclusion I need to start the water almost 24 hours before I want to drink it. That’s a lot of foresight for quenching thirst!

- For those of you who haven’t heard, I now possess (I didn’t pay anything for her so I guess I can’t own) a cat. She is named Chichi, which comes from the Swahili word parachichi which means avocado. That was the first thing I learned she liked to eat, which greatly eased her transition to my house. She’s quite the affectionate creature. Even now she’s curled up on my lap in between me and my computer. At night she finds her way under my mosquito net to sleep on my bed with me. She’s quite pleasant to have around and I’m enjoying her company!

- I never really thought about the value of lighting the space around your house until I came here. My back porch light didn’t work when I arrived and I actually avoided leaving the house, even just to the back stoop or water pipe after dark. Now I’ve had a new light installed, apparently an adapter inside had broken, and my back porch is well lit. It vastly improves my comfort and I’m quite grateful for it!

Thoughts from school:

- I do not understand how teachers can assign homework as frequently as they do in high school. I grade for one class and two subjects and I look at my paper pile in disgust. How did they do it for six periods every day or two?!?

- Homework is a different animal here. Many kids just don’t think they need to do it and so they won’t, not understanding its uses as a guide to the teacher. I can understand not knowing how to do something and not wanting to show that, but isn’t it still better to prove you know something, even if it’s just that you don’t know the material? That’s really valuable information, knowing you don’t understand something. I just don’t get it. But then again, I didn’t get it in the US when kids did that either.

- Tanzanians are obsessed with their exams. One thing I loved about the IB program was its focus on well rounded LEARNING. The tests matter, yes. Are they worth everything? You could make an argument they are because of how much bearing they have on the next level’s activities but IB, fortunately, never saw it that way. There’s more to being smart than knowing facts. People here still aren’t quite over the idea that if you can solve a difficult equation that means you know the material. There’s more too it than that!

Thoughts from the Region:

- If you’ll remember, my first post from TZ was finished by mentioning the earthquake that occurred during the construction of that post. I believe it ended up being around a 5.8 and was followed within 36 hours by a 6.0 nearby (

So I’ve just finished my first lab. It brought up an interesting issue: the fact that words are not the only impediment to understanding. Cultures have many differences but one I had never considered when crossing languages is the different connotations of the very same words. I gave instructions to take each measurement they recorded three times by saying just that, take each measurement three times. I thought I was very clear. The entire class proceeded to take one measurement with one weight, a second measurement with a different weight, and the third measurement with yet another weight. Each group I stopped at, I had to explain what I really meant was take the measurement with one weight three times and it often took me a good minute to have them truly understand. They had a lot of trouble understanding why we’d want to take the same measurement three times but I think we eventually got the point across. It’s just another example of the differences I’m seeing in the languages. I’ve also been noticing lately the way Tanzanians speak English is pretty much the same. Word orders that seem strange to me are repeated between Tanzanian English speakers. I’m thinking this would be a good reference to learn how I should order my words in Swahili, a sort of key translated to English. Hopefully I learn soon how to better explain myself, but I suppose this is the first step.

It’s the Monday of the week of January 11th and I find myself with no shortage of free time. I thought after this last week I’d be overcome by a fury of new engagements would struggle to keep up with. We’ll just leave it as that’s yet to be the case. I understand Peace Corps’ tentativeness with which they have new crops of volunteers ease into their assignments but I think building a lifestyle of lethargy is really only perpetuates that pattern. Today I taught from 7:30-8:50, same as always, the difference was, that I went into class with no lesson plan. I’ve been happy to find that my students increasingly ask questions and so I decided to give them a review day, which they fully took advantage of! I’m choosing to look at this as a positive that they’re engaged in class and not as the obvious negative: that I can’t teach them. I figure if they really thought they couldn’t learn from me they wouldn’t ask questions so I’m happy to take them. So, simple successes aside I’m home by 9am which leaves me about 14 hours to prepare for tomorrow. Perhaps I’m lacking long-term vision here and in a couple of weeks I’ll be cursing my time spent on Halo books and transit systems, but I do not foresee significant changes to my schedule. I have double the teaching to do come March but that will simply take a few extra hours and I’ll still have 8+ left. We’ll see.

No one ever glorifies the volunteer. Save perhaps the military volunteer. When you think about movies, there aren’t movies or tv shows about a teacher in a foreign land. When people are gone, it’s always about the return home. Never about what they did. It’s easy to picture your perfect world, how every day you’ll want to be exactly where you are and the people you’re working with are receptive and learn everything they need to from you. Hollywood kind of does a disservice by making everyone believe that there are people out there where everything they do is truly for the benefit of others. I think there was only one man for whom that was truly the case and I would argue he was more than a man. Most of those people serving others are actually in it somewhat to serve themselves. To satisfy that desire to do good in the world and that’s fine. They are helping, just not completely selflessly. I don’t think it’s human to think of others 100% and not think of yourself at all. But when your selfish humanism isn’t satisfied with the selfless acts you’re doing, conflict reigns. The dreams start shifting to other glories, the return home to care for those there or the next project you could take hold of with better authority from your learned experiences here. But the problem is every time is the first time, yes you can improve but not all improvements on your previous problems are solutions for your current ones. I find that I’m a dreamer, continually looking to the future and what fantastic things it holds, but I’m finding my focus on the present suffers. I can fill notebooks and files with ideas for something that will never be done but I can’t wait to finish my work for tomorrow so I can think about what happens a year from now. I need to change that, or at least control it. Focus on the now, and trust that the tomorrow will be there. I’ve spent my whole life preparing. Moving from elementary school where I prepared for middle school, which prepared me for high school, which prepared me for college, which prepared me for……certainly not this. I didn’t realize quite the change I made when I chose the Peace Corps. I’m in a holding pattern for two years, at least relative to my “preparation”. I suppose this is preparing me for life experience and blah blah blah but that’s not why I say I’m here. I’m here to take my preparation and apply it. Something I’m really inexperienced at, I’m realizing. My mindset is wrong. I’m thinking what I have to do to achieve the goal and move on to the next level. What does it take to be prepared to go back to the US? A plane ticket. That’s it, and I can get that at a moment’s notice. The return is not the end game, it’s the end of the game, and it’s not even a game. There’s not really a way to win or lose. I’m here to help, and interact, and teach. I suppose I can “win” if my students all pass and move on, but there’s more to it than that. I always think I’ll know answers eventually, like once I do enough preparing, I’ll be ready to be wise. But with the dissolution of my future last year and little resolution on the horizon, I’m starting to wonder where I’m going and if I’ll know it when I get there. Or maybe I’m here? Eventually I’ll recognize where I’m going when it is in hindsight, I just want to know it as now-sight too!

When I first decided this is what I wanted to do, I had a way of describing the opportunity that has stuck quite well throughout my service so far. The Peace Corps, is by far the most terrifyingly exciting thing I have ever done. It comes in waves, and I’m for sure on a crest right now. We arrived and were herded around a tiny conference complex in Dar learning simple greetings thinking maybe we could survive. Then we moved to Morogoro, where we sat in our family’s living rooms staring blankly at them when they tried to converse in even simple language, and thought maybe not. But slowly over time we were able to get by and by the end of training were quite comfortable in our routine. Then we leave our comfort zone again, moving to a place where we make the meals and clean the floors in addition to completing our daily activities, and think well, I can fry an egg, so maybe I’ll stay alive. Then after a month of getting a routine at home and realizing I can do everything I have to and even still have time to kill, we’re feeling pretty good about ourselves. I got there. I was functioning in a third world country with a basic vocabulary to interact with my fellow Tanzanians. I can cook, clean, teach, read, relax, and pretty much do anything else now. But then, just like before, a new challenge is here. I can function here, now I have to excel. Excelling is more than frying eggs, and washing clothes by hand, and teaching to a class that can learn from your English. Today, I added adult education classes to my list of things to do. These are people who for one reason or another did not finish their studies and are trying to after years outside of school. They are not great English speakers, and in fact, they are probably inferior to regular students at their level of studies. I’m going to have to go beyond just being able to explain ideas well. I’m going to have to explain ideas well in a language I’m learning as I use it. This is terrifying. This is exciting. This is why I’m here. These are the most motivated students I will encounter in Tanzanians schools. Many students try to leave school because it’s just easier, and they know they’re going to end up in the same job after they fail their exams anyway. So, in a society that does not see education in the same light as America, these are rare opportunities. Now I just have to make the most of it. I can be a good teacher for these students if I take the time to learn the language and relay the ideas well. I hope in two years, I can say I did.

And just a side note, I can do 3 consecutive pull ups :D I haven’t been able to do a pull up in about 5 years!

Here is Picture Post Number 1! Mostly just photos but I'll narrate a little. The above photo is from Mikumi National Park. We went as a group during training and saw many of the characteristic Africa savanna animals.

So here are the two lions we saw. Apparently seeing them was rather unusual. But rarer still was what happened afterward. They.....enjoyed each other's company :P

Fellow volunteers observing the hippos. OK I admit it wasn't candid, but they did look like this before I asked them to repeat it!

My host family's house in Morogoro. It was quite nice considering. I was extremely fortunate!

The group at the end of training! I can name names later maybe....

When some of us weren't taking our oral exams we were learning a new sustainable gardening method. It has very exciting applications!

The farewell dinner with my host family and CBT mates!

This was my best picture of our swearing in. Sorry! I'll see if I can get better ones.

Next few pictures are from Christmas in Mbeya with another PCV Kate and the NGO she works with. She and Deb were wonderful to host us for the weekend!

We climbed the mountain behind their house and these pictures are from the walk to and climb up the mountain.

Theo couldn't climb his rocks so he settled for a tree.

The following are pictures of the valley that I live in. I took them when staying with another PCV Katie for New Years.

Hope you enjoyed them! I hope to do this again soon!

First of all I wanted to wish everyone happy holidays! So far, mine have been quite enjoyable and relaxing, perhaps too much. But now, as I’m in between Christmas and New Years I wanted to write a few thoughts down. First of all, I have been continually blown away with the beauty of this region. If you’re considering a trip to Africa at all, I would highly recommend this region of the continent as it is absolutely gorgeous. All through training, my experience had been places that looked old and tired, as if the very first humans saw the exact same landscape when they walked this area. But here, in the southern highlands, the landscape is so much more alive…….and green. This is easily due to the rains that fall frequently here but it’s still quite a masterpiece. Forests on the mountains blend into giant tea farms with these hardy bushes that are harvested in a way so that it looks like a perfect sea of green. There will be smaller hills that are completely devoid of trees but are a solid green from the rows of tea bushes on them. If there are trees, they are quite often banana trees and they often dominate the valleys. It’s hard to really describe and I hope to put up pictures eventually! The other day I spent a lot of time standing at an overlook that I can’t help but think needs a blue sign on the road nearby telling traffic they should stop and look in a ¼ mile, even though they’re driving 80 in the left lane. Check that, we’re in TZ where 4-lane roads don’t exist, but I think you get my point. I’m quite happy with the physical location of my site, I just wish I had easier access to the view!

A note, I don’t usually write when I’m connected to the internet which makes it easy to not post right away, so whenever there is a break and the topic changes abruptly, assume we’re hours if not days apart in time. Thanks! :D

So I had a strange thought. I’ve been in Tanzania for two different years. While I know that’s simple manipulation of dates to make it sound long I realized that I have been here undeniably for over a quarter of a year, which makes it seem much much longer. It helps that that 3 months is split up over three very different locations of various lengths, but it’s interesting to think about. In my head I have our time spent in Dar Es Salaam as a very long time, or at least a much more significant portion of training than it actually was. It only seems long because every step was a new experience and I was trapped in a gated compound with no knowledge of the outside community so seeing the same small space made time drag. Training, which is over half of that time, was long enough to develop a routine. And now site for over a month feels like a fairly significant amount of time too, and routines are starting to develop. There is a degree of comfort that I’m finding but I realize at night how easily my comfort is lost; how it’s only skin deep. I don’t know this community like I know home. There, I know what’s around every corner and I know where people are. Here, the set up of cities and towns is not always logical and that makes things unpredictable, which can be unsettling. I remember the first night here I was terrified because I couldn’t see beyond my front porch and I had no idea where anyone was. It also didn’t help that PC had just spent the week before telling me how the whole world was out to get me etc. It’s better now but a city without streetlights is still a terrifyingly dark place. It’s almost like you can feel the people around you but you can’t see them. You know they’re there but what they’re doing, who they are, is all a mystery. One your mind is all too happy to muse upon. I never thought about it but comfort and security are all part of the American dream. The whole point of having your two story house on a cul-de-sac of houses just like it with slightly altered floor plans and a different color scheme is that it’s a controlled, seemingly safe environment. A yard is just space for the kids to play and a house is just wood and brick you live inside, but put it all together with a piece of paper that says you owe $150,000 for it and you’ve got a kingdom that is almost entirely under your control. Here, I live in a space that’s not mine and constantly question whether what I’m doing is “right” in the eyes of the public. As our country director loves to say, we’re on duty 24/7, which is completely true. And it’s tiresome, but it’s part of what we signed up for, and we’ll survive.

I am beginning to understand the value of simple purpose in life. I have spent the aforementioned three months in this country and so far have enacted my purpose for being here for less than a total of 80 min times 8 classes plus another 160 minutes. So 1760 minutes. Considering I have been here for 60 min times 24 times approximately 100 days, or 144000 minutes, my realization of purpose has been unbearably small. Ok, with even the absurd assumption that I’m sleeping 12 hours a day I’ve been here 72000 minutes. Yes, the argument can be made my being here is satisfying the goals of the Peace Corps mission but eventually cooking, cleaning, and sleeping while using enough Swahili to get by is grossly unsatisfying. Which brings me to my purpose for being here, teaching science and math. I will start on Monday, and probably within days regret my boredom and wishes for activity, but when the highlight of my day is making potato chips in a frying pan, I’m having trouble justifying my day. There’s a simple solution, prepare to teach. Yes! I have gone through that logic, and have somehow found every chore I could possibly think of to do before hand. I know I’ve always been an exceptional procrastinator but this is a little absurd. While my culinary experience is improving and I’ve been able to wash clothes by hand, including remove blood from a white shirt which I was proud of, I stand on the top of that hill feeling no sense of accomplishment. I suppose it is appropriate to learn that in any environment the human reactions are the same, do work when you have to and otherwise play. There’s really no point to this other than my being frustrated with my procrastination following me overseas, but it’s an interesting observation that I am who I am, and part of me is a procrastinator. It doesn’t matter if I cook on charcoal, kerosene, electric hotplates, or a gas/electric stove. I’ll look at the sky the same way whether I’m leaving class after a good day of work or getting out of the house because I can’t stand it anymore. Part of my justification for coming here was to improve on parts of myself I didn’t like, and my mastery of the art of procrastination was one of them. So I’ve struggled so far. I can try again tomorrow :)

Aaaaaaaaand I’m back! So, it’s been a while but I wanted to let you know that I will start to be more active with my blog. I was able to find consistent internet access through a local telephone provider so I now have wireless internet on my computer. It’s really quite amazing and I would say rivals what I would expect in the United States. I understand that Tanzania has the population to support the technology, although I don’t feel as though a good portion of those people have the money to do so. Regardless, I had 3G-High Speed service in Mbeya town so it is available. Now on to a post!

So I’m at one of the critical moments I thought about several times before coming here. I haven’t exactly thought about it nearly as much since arriving but now, the night before I feel like it deserves some intense thought. Tomorrow is my first day stepping into the classroom as a permanent teacher. I taught at my internship school for around 3 weeks but that was understood to be temporary so the student teacher relationship was different. The students I interact with tomorrow will likely be my students through February of 2011 and it is this group of kids that I will most directly affect. Therefore, since first impressions are so important, I feel it necessary to think through how I am going to work tomorrow.

I intend to have our first period together be more directly focused on identifying the students I have in front of me. I am told that my school regularly performs well on exams and often it is prestigious enough it gets to select its students and ensure that the highest performing and most motivated are sitting it its classrooms. Now, I’m all for motivation and commitment to academics, but from what I’ve been introduced to so far in TZ, that can often mean they are simply able to memorize the right things for the tests. I fully intend to teach in a way that requires the student to understand the concept and not memorize the problem, and I hope the students are able. But in order to know how to identify how the student is solving the problems, I must know the students.

So, my series of inquiries…

First, I need the basic information, just so I can identify students by their names and so forth.

Second, I need to know how they function in class. How and in what they take notes, where they turn in papers, how well they understand concepts taught in English, etc. I would imagine there are significant differences in how an American class is run versus a normal Tanzanian class. But I intend to run mine like with a more American flavor, because exposure to outside ideas is the whole point of Peace Corps. Obviously, if there’s something better the Tanzanians do, I’ll try to incorporate it.

Thirdly, I’m trying to find out about their non-academic lives, for one to see where I can interact outside of class, but also to know what they like to do. Corporal punishment is widely used here and I really do not think it is appropriate in the school setting. I imagine I’ll deal with this topic again, but in general, I’d like to know what to take away or make them do as a punishment that is not just beating the kids.

Then finally, get a feel for what they’ve been taught but also a sense of what they know, because I’ve learned that they almost never line up perfectly.

I’m sure tomorrow will go significantly less smoothly than I’d like but I’m looking forward to it. So now, I should prepare for bed and a good night’s sleep.

Just a note, while I was typing this up, we had an EARTHQUAKE!!! It was relatively small but it was a new experience for me. Thunderstorms and earthquakes! I’m quite excited 

This blog is the product of a few things. The first was my father's suggestion that I record all my experiences associated with this new chapter of my life. It's one of those parents know best moments where they tell you to do something and your first reaction is thinking that this is making up for a missed opportunity in their life but then you realize that, true or not, they are still right and it's in older you's best interest. It also satisfied my own desire to keep my home hemisphere somewhat involved in my life. So here we are. I'm not a particularly witty or eloquent person so I'm going to try to limit myself to writing the highlights so as to make this worthwhile to you, the reader. Anyway, here we go....

The Peace Corps is surely going to be a great experience, and as I've said before, the best way I can describe these next 2 1/2 years is terrifyingly exciting, but the coming sacrifice weighs on me. I thought when I started this process that my effort in my job and community would be the biggest gift I'm giving, but the longer I go into this process, the more I think it will simply be the time. I skipped a class today to get my dental exam done. Now that's a very small issue, especially given the intensity of said class, but it reminds me of what will come soon. I'm skipping birthdays, weddings, Christmases, graduations, and I pray not, but maybe funerals. While I'm gone, the world here keeps turning and that, for me, is scary. I don't get to watch things grow and change but rather simply get stuck back into the world, two years post-me. Two years can seem like forever or nothing at all but it's this context that reminds me, in shocking form, that an enormous amount can change in that time. But, that's something I said I would be willing to give up for this experience, and I'm still 100% in agreement with that. It's going to be hard at times, but it will be worth it. No doubt.