and say that this will probably be my last post from Armenia. 15 days left, and it is really much scarier then I ever thought it would be.

First, a quick recap of the last 2 months. MY PARENTS CAME TO VISIT!! Yup yup! It was amazing. Just how excited was I, you ask? Well, first let me describe the arrivals area of the Zvartnots airport. It is about the size of a small, mom-and-pop grocery story and is a big empty room with double doors connecting it to customs or whatever. Wrapping around these double doors are glass walls, where all of the waiting friends and family gather. As I stood there, smoshed against the glass, a small Armenian girl (no joke-she was probably two) was beside me with her grandmother. They were waiting for the girl's mother. The SECOND that the little girls mom walked through the doors and the little girl saw her through the glass, she bust out sobbing. Actually sobbing, I am talking full on screaming and crying and trying to run away from her grandmother towards the opening in the glass to meet her mom. I, being already close to tears and freaking out Armenians by bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet, promised myself I wouldn't do that when I saw my parents...let me tell you, it was a close call. I cried, they cried and I pushed through a bunch of Armenians and quite honestly stopped them right on that 'security line' to hug them about 5 times each. It was fantastic!

The trip only got better from there : ) We spent time in Dilijan with my host family, and despite being woken up WELL before I wanted to be to translate, it was great. I was really happy to finally have my two families meet. The parents were also able to meet the old host family in Karenis, where we were treated to a great day of khorovats down by the river. It was the typical village experience, and a highlight of their trip for sure. Mom got a kick out of finally meeting the kids that she always sent presents to (and who quite honestly kept me sane during the harder times) and dad loved the drinking, fun loving, and big family atmosphere of the khorovats itself. In Martuni they got a taste of the 'PCV' life, when they stayed with me at another volunteers apartment. I made dinner from scratch (lasagna, yum) and everyone had a good time just kicking around. Even though the volunteer we stayed with has an amazing apartment by our standards, mom and dad were kind of shocked with the living conditions. Pretty sure dad thought he might die, and mom just started cracking up laughing as she laid down to go to sleep...in a state of disbelief!

After 10 days (way too short a time) I had to put them back on the plane. It was sad. I might have cried. They did get to take a whole big suitcase back for me though, and experienced the Armenian bribery system first hand when they wanted to check a 3rd bag at the airport.

Since then, things have been winding down. I finally had a chance to go down south (way WAY down south) and visit another volunteer in Meghri, and we for sure took the opportunity to drive along the Iranian border for a few minutes. That was pretty cool, you could see a village on the other side..the difference in architecture was interesting! On the same trip I got to ride the WORLD'S LONGEST TRAMWAY..yup. Be jealous. The tramways is the easiest way to get to Tatev, one of the prettiest monasteries in Armenia.

Today was my big goodbye khorovats with all of the teachers from the art school. Let me tell you, it was an incredible time. We went a little ways down the road to this 'basetka' or gazebo. Of course, it wasn't just a gazebo, but a whole picnic area complete with covered tables and swing. One of the guys from school had traveled out in the morning to reserve it for us! Soon enough (there were about 10 women there) the tables were set and the men were cooking the meat (pork-yum!). One of the woman had brought her two little boys, and we entertained ourselves with the Armenian version of dodge ball (way better then the normal version, FYI)until everything was all cooked. Vodka flowed throughout the meal, and toasts were said to all of us, and our lives, and to my journey back to America. I must have reassured them 10 times that I would never forget them...even gave a toast that involved me remembering them always and keeping them in my heart. Dancing followed after dinner, and finally a group of us took a short hike up to Jutavank, a small monastery on the outskirts of Dilijan that I had never been to. I walked with another woman and two of the male teachers, I lead the way. One of the men kept telling the other one to get ahead of me, because in Armenia a man is always in the front and back. The other woman got a kick out of it when I 'clicked' my disapproval at him and told him that he was crazy. Finally, around 9 (after 8 hours in the woods) I took a taxi home with a few of the teachers...it was really sad to say goodbye, knowing that there were some people there that I will probably never see again.

I have to get used to that though, only 15 days left...I picked up what is proably the last batch of letters from Mem today (well, honestly, the neighbor picked them up and brought them to me)and tomorrow I leave for my last two nights of visiting my old host family in Karenis. That is going to suck. Bad. Then off to 4th of July in Sevan and one last Green Camp before I come home for a few days before saying goodbye to my host family here. Ugh, I can't even think about that.

My microphone is broken, so phone calls home are going to probably not happen, which is just as well...since I will be there soon enough and have to focus on everyone here...

I want to thank all of you for sharing these two years with me. Dealing with the good days (that hopefully far outnumbered) the bad days. Thanks especially to my mem, for those weekly letters that got me through a lot of those bad days; and my mom and dad for always being there to make me pull myself together (and sending me amazing packages); and Gramp and Gramp and Phyllis, for always making me smile when we were on the phone...and to all of you for the support you have given me just by reading my infrequent and usually scatterbrained ramblings.

I guess I will see you on the flipside.

I need to stop promising that I will get better at this writing more often thing, I have had 2 years to follow through and clearly that hasn't happened yet. Sorry.

So, the last two months:

In early April I finally had the chance again to perfect my ravioli and lasagna recipes. A few volunteers got together in Martuni, and I spent 3 or 4 hours in the kitchen grating cheese, mixing curds, chopping tomatoes, simmering sauce making dough and filling ravioli (special shout out to Nick and Kyle for helping me to roll out all of the dough!). Thankfully, the recipes for both are pretty similar, and use the same ingredients...so it didn't get too crazy. Armenians make a meat ravioli like dish called plimini, and so I used the form for those to make the raviolis. It is a honeycomb shape and you stretch dough over the form, spoon in the cheese/curd mixture, stretch more dough over the top and then use a rolling pin (or wine bottle) to fix the two pieces of dough together. Let me tell you, MUCH easier then wrapping the ravioli by hand! If I do say so myself, the dinner was a big success, and I will for sure be bringing the form home to America so I can continue making all of my favorites from scratch! Other food that I will try to never buy again? pie, pie crust, cookies, spaghetti sauce and pizza. I have also had pretty good luck here with chicken pot pie, curries, and and other baked goods.

This year the 50th anniversary of Peace Corps was celebrated all around the world. PC staff encouraged the PCVs in each marz (or region in Armenia)to prepare some type of event for the community. In Tavush, the best marz ever..BEAR MARZ!, we decided to have our event in Ijevan along with the poetry contest that was scheduled to happen there. The poetry contest happened along with contests all over Armenia (a PC project, I organized one in Dilijan for the next week but more about that later) and at ours 13 of the 14 PCVs in Ijevan came to help out. Just under 60 children participated in the recitation contest, and a lot of them brought along family and friends. There was a short speech in the beginning talking about the PC and some of the work they had done in Armenia, and then the real work started. As the different forms (grades) presented their poems, the majority of the volunteers manned different stations aimed at keeping parents and kids busy! There was snacks and an information booth, as well as a mini health lesson, an English activity, an couple of arts and crafts project and of course (my favorite) a sports/team building 'corner'. The kids and the PCVs had a fun time alike, and it was nice to see all of the volunteers and to work with them on such a successful day!

The week after the 50th anniversary celebration/poetry recitation contest in Ijevan, I hosted the Dilijan local poetry competition. 25 children from 3 of the secondary schools in town picked an English language poem to recite for the contest, and in the weeks before I went around to the schools, helping the children with pronunciation and understanding their poems. On the day of the competition 3 other PCVs came down to help me judge and to write certificates, I served as the partial MC (with questionable Armenian skills, of course). Despite a small scheduling conflict and having to start 30 minutes late, the contest went off without a hitch and the kids were all pretty happy. In May, the 6 winners from my contest will join other children from all over the country in Hrazdan for the national contest.

The 2nd week of March also included an impromptu trip down south to Syunik Marz. I went with 3 other volunteers from up north and had a 4 day, 3 nights, 5 village/town tour. I took and incredibly nauseating 5 hour marshutka ride down to Kapan and stayed with another PCV in the village of Davit Bek. That night included some shenanigans in the newly renovated (thanks to the PCV) school gym and a delicious chicken khoravats! The next day we took a not so disgusting ride up to Sisian and stayed in a village outside of that with another PCV. That night included some delicious pasta and a group effort to 'Walk off the Pounds' in a very small living room. Hilarity ensued and there are pictures of us all acting ridiculous somewhere. The next day we took another not so good ride (see a pattern? this is why the North is WAY better then the South) to Goris to stay with another PCV host. Highlights of Goris included exploring the old caves around the town. Before Soviet times, most of the Gorisites built their homes against the mountains, using caves carved into the rock as cold rooms or cellars and even sometimes housing. When the Soviets came, they built the road in the mountain valley, causing a relocation of the town (and houses, brick by brick) into the valley and out of the mountains. This means that there are tons of these old caves left to explore, and some are still used as storage or animal barns. I know barn isn't the word I am looking for here, but the right word just won't come to me. Closing off the trip that night, we made some awesome stew (thank you boys) and some tasty lemon squares (us ladies)...then the next morning we crawled hesitantly back into taxis for the long ride back up to Yerevan.

After a pretty relaxing night in Yerevan, I woke up the next morning pretty stoked for the big Armenia-Russia soccer game that 40 of us PCVs had bought tickets for! Most of us had Armenian flag hats, compliments of a super knitter PCV, and I had made a scarf to go along with it. A Fulbright scholar that we know painted our faces with Armenian flags and we left on our way to the stadium, arriving about an hour and a half before game time. Oh my, was there craziness at the stadium. The crowd control was a little bogus (and dangerous) and more than once myself and another volunteer had to stop and talk to the policemen, asking them to let the rest of our group through the barriers. Our most common excuse was that they didn't speak English, and that we had to have them with us so we could translate. Then, when we finally worked our way through the crowds of big, drunk Russian men, we made it to our gate (about 20 of us in our one group) to find that it was closed. Another PCV and I worked our way through the angry, shouting men to the front of the gate to talk to the policemen guarding it. They told us that the gate was closed and wouldn't open again, at first telling us because they didn't want to let any more Russians in (we quickly pointed out that if we were Russia fans we wouldn't have the Armenian flag sported in so many ways and/or wouldn't be speaking only Armenian to them)and then later saying that we were too late (45 min before the game) and that the gates were closed for good. While the other PCV with me tried to call the football federation that had arranged our tickets, I decided to try to make friends with one of the policemen and convince him to let us in. After a lot of questions and pleading and playing the volunteer card (all in Armenian, mind you), and not a little bit of flirting and well practiced puppy dog eyes...45 minutes and a few phone calls to other officers later he finally was able to unlock the gate to let us all in! Victory! Sometimes it pays to be a girl ;)

The game was incredible, we were all so pumped up and Armenia (surprisingly) was able to hold their own. It was great to be a part of that, and more then a few Armenians were shocked to see a bunch of Americans cheering right along with them! Throats sore 1 1/2 hours later, the game ended in a tie, making this the furthest that Armenia has ever made it in the series (is it a series?)!! The Armenians left very, very happy. And the one lone section of Russians left with little fanfare. One more thing crossed off of my Armenia bucket list!

After all of the traveling, it was nice to have a solid week and a half in Dilijan. It still amazes me how much I miss my host family and sagging bed and ever-constant children when I am not there for a few days! My classes went really well, since most of my students are learning about animals, I made good use of the paper, stickers, string, and crayons I have to create 'animal books' with the kids. I had them talk about different biomes (desert, ocean, forest, rain forest,etc.) and we discussed what kinds of animals live where. After they had written out all of the vocab on the right pages, I gave them some cool fish and rain forest pop up stickers that my mom had sent (omg did that cause a mob) and let them go to town drawing all of the other animals. It was a pretty fantastic class, and it made me sad to think about leaving those kids in just 2 short months. They have lately been asking me when I am leaving, and whenever I tell them they ask when I will be back. It is hard to explain that it won't be very soon, and I have been promising to come back in 5 years to visit. Hopefully I will be able to make that happen, as all the kids have been telling me what class they will be in then and telling me to make sure I find them when I come back.

Today I came back from a weekend trip to Talin (in Aragatsevan Marz) to visit David, another PCV. This was the first time I visited him at his new site and also the first time that I have gone to see another volunteer still living with a host family. His family was amazing, and we stayed up pretty late playing Dorak (or 'stupid' in Russian) which is a card game that I am not a big fan of. It was still a good time though, with lots of laughs over some attempts (and some blatent)cheating and hissy fits by losing PCVs. Yesterday, we spend a good part of the day exploring a persian era fort (or 'berd' in Armenian). Our explorations (aided by David's host brother and some friends) had us crawling through stone tunnels and over some questionable stairs. It was pretty awesome. It also had me breaking out my teacher voice with the boys as they tested their rock climbing and jumping skills. On the walk home we stopped by a man made lake and laid in the sun relaxing for a bit, and later caught a ride back to David's house in time for some dolma for lunch. Yum!

Now, back in Dilijan until next Monday (when my COS, or Close of Service, conference starts..yikes!) I am looking forward to a paper crane folding event (to benefit those still suffering in Japan) with the local schools, and Easter lamb dinner with other volunteers, and finally..in 14 short days!...my mom and dad coming to visit!

And I am sure they will make sure I update my blog while they are here :)

The Winter that was slow to start is showing no signs of stopping. I am talking cold, ::brrrr:: cold!

What does that mean? I get an hour by my computer (tops!) before my frigid handsicles make it impossible for me to type. That is why 90% of my time (outside of classes) is spent within a 3 ft radius of my wood stove.

Those who know me know that I can't just SIT there with nothing to do. So I read a little, and write lessons, and then spend most of my time working on whatever knitting/crocheting project is available to me.

I just learned to crochet (thanks to some awesome Tavush ladies) and am working on improving my skills (since I only mastered the granny square) so I can make two very important ladies in my life blankets for their little spoiled ones-to-be.

In the knitting world, I am working on a simple scarf for a certain someone who wanted specific colors...and then I am moving on. To what? cables. Yes, cables. They intimidate me, but I will conquer them. First, in a scarf (check out ravelry.com) and then in a hat. Bring it. I am ready...

Sooooo here is the begging part! I am in desperate need of:

Knitting needles..I have 4,6, and 8...and the 4 is dpns, the other two normal. If anyone has any circular needles sitting around (I need smaller ones, for hats and mittens, since the only size found here is sweater big) or any other normal needles sitting around it would be GREAT if you could get them to my mom.

Also, a row counter, and those nifty little stoppers you put on dpns so your stitches don't fall off constantly would be pretty great too : )

As for crocheting. I have nothing. I am borrowing a hook from a friend. So ANYTHING that you have lying around and don't use anymore would be SUHWEET!

and, since I have already lost all of my shame; some peanut butter, fruit snacks/fruit cups, and some graham crackers would be amazing.

PS...I pinkie swear promise this is my very last desperate/begging blog, ever.

Since we got the longest and gnarliest ‘loose end’ out of the way first, there are just a few more. I have mentioned in a few posts already that the GAD (Gender and Development) Initiative has been working with Armenian Young Women Association (AWYA http://www.aywa.am/en/index) to plan a Woman’s Day Expo, which will happen (now really cross your fingers) on April 4th. What is Woman’s Day? You ask…well, it is what it sounds like. A day (or days, as there happens to be two in Armenia) that celebrates the amazingness and awesomeness and incredibleness of women. Can you see why I like it? On Woman’s Day(s) all the ladies get flowers from their families, or students, or friends. And there is usually some type of celebration with cake and wine and cognac. Last year, PCVs worked with AWYA to organize a poster and essay contest. The contest was open to anyone from 6th form to 1st year in University, girls and boys, and they had to create a poster or write an essay around the theme ‘Women in the Workforce’. This year, we are looking to build up the event even more. The poster/essay contest this year is ‘Women in Leadership’ (and you can bet my kids will be participating) and the winners of the contest will be invited to Yerevan for an award ceremony. The ceremony will take place in the middle of our planned expo. Hopefully, there will be different NGOs there, focusing on Woman’s health, domestic violence, education, etc. We will also have different dance groups and craft exhibitors (all women, of course) and will even have a ‘childran’s section’ where younger children can come and play games or do team building exercises. Quite frankly, I am pretty darn stoked for the whole thing! Right now, I am working as the coordinator between AYWA and the PCV team that is working on the whole organization aspect of the event. We will hopefully have a venue organized soon, and from there we can work on enlisting NGOs and crafters and dance groups for the event.

Of course, outside of these events, life in Dilijan continues on. Dilijan might be my LONGEST and thickest string. It is my home, my community. It still puts a smile on my face as I walk down the street and a bunch of boys from my classes yell ‘hello’ at me from across the river, or actually mean it instead of just being rude little brats. Or when girls that never spoke to me before will walk down the stairs with me and talk to me about class or what is going on. I can honestly say that I love them, and really, they love me. It never gets old to walk in the class and see the kids jump up in excitement as a big smile spreads across their face. My after school English Environmental club is going spectacularly well. I am alone in the classroom, and they listen. They legit listen. And when someone doesn’t, they self police and the ‘problem’ is told pretty quickly to cut it out. I love playing the games with them, watching them learn things without the standard screaming teacher, shaming, and rote memorization that happens in the normal lessons. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I am going to make valentines with the kids in my normal lessons, and then on Tuesday during club we are going to make some pretty valentines to give to one another.

If that goes well, I am even going to bring the Valentine theme into my adult English class at the unemployment center. This class happens for 2 hours every Wednesday. There are 10 or 15 women at every class (plus one man) and they are great. They are totally enthusiastic for everything that we are doing, and love just talking to me. In fact, the only reason I know the class exists is that they sent their teacher looking for me, telling her that they want me to come and help with class. Last week, my third class with them, we worked on food words, and taking a page out of my own Armenian training, I had them prepare menus to share with the rest of the class. This week (if the Valentine thing doesn’t work out) I am going to have them write out recipes. That should be a good time. My other ‘adult’ class or ‘conversation club’ is still going just OK. It has gotten much better though. I have given them more dialogues, and they have stopped fighting me about reading Dr Suess’ The Lorax. A nice compromise, I think.

My new and exciting project, which I am SURE I mentioned before was the ‘Border 2 Border’ walk that I will be participating in during the ENTIRE month of June, or at least the great majority of it. For 20 days (or 23) two groups of PCVs will be walking the entire length of Armenia, one group (mine) starting in the south, and the other group from the north. We will meet in the middle, Martuni specifically. All along the way we will be stopping to teach healthy lifestyles classes for groups in the villages along the way, and in Martuni we will have a large ‘health’ celebration. Another PCV, well versed in the ways of long distance walking, has sent us all a training routine and we are just now beginning to cement our collaboration with the Red Cross and World Vision. This is going to be huge, a nationwide event that will hopefully draw attention to the need for change. Check out our blog (http://walkacrossarmenia.wordpress.com) or find us on Facebook. Oh, and if you have any connections at UA or Nike or Adidas or anyplace like that, let me know…appropriate clothing for this marathon walk is pretty scarce in Armenia.

In other exciting news, my parents are coming to visit! Yes, after months and months of harassing (and threatening) my father passport applications (well, application, we were just waiting on his) have been submitted and plane tickets have been bought! No going back now! I am very, very excited for them to come and see me. Quite frankly, going more than a year without hugging your parents (at any age, and you know this) is pretty depressing. I miss them. I am also really happy that my two lives will finally meet. I have always referred to my life here in Armenia as my ‘Peace Corps Life’ and my life back in America as ‘the real world’ and I am pretty stoked that those two worlds will soon be coming together. For two years now, Armenia has been my ‘home’, and I have ‘families’ here that I feel like some part of the real world needs to meet and see and experience, or it won’t be real. I have talked about and explained and taken pictures of my life here, but honestly I want someone from home to experience it. So when I continue (as I will for many years) to talk about the people and places here, they will know what or who I am talking about. When I speak of my host family, to my parents they won’t just be some abstract family in Armenia that fed me (or overfed me, rather) but will be legitimate, tangible people that my mother has hugged and my father has taken shots with.

Bah. I have talked too much, if I keep going with all of these thoughts and random things swirling around in my head I won’t have anything to tell you about next time I write (which will be soon, I pinky swear promise).

Holy moly. I have just about 5 months left in Armenia. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone by, especially when it seems to drag through the cold, cold winter months. I have begun the ‘wrap-up’ process of my service, searching for all those physical and emotional loose ends that need to be tied up nice and tight before I can begin to leave this place that has been my home for the last 2 years. I am happy, and sad, and nervous, and excited all at the same time, and all of the emotions swirling around are taking up WAY too much space in my head. Thankfully, I have a lot of ‘loose ends’ to keep me busy. Well, that and the new projects that I am involved in. Whoops.

Let’s start with all of those pretty little loose ends. My time here has come full circle, and I am working now on Green Camps (or Environmental Leadership Camps) 2011. While on one hand I am happy that at least year I won’t be just tossed head first into the deep end and forced to learn how to swim, I am also disappointed that a lot of what we worked so hard on and for last year never came about. I guess that is the nature of these projects. What is that saying? ‘Reach for the moon and you will land among the stars’. The PCPP grant that we worked on has fallen a little bit short, and so in the last few days another volunteer and I have been working to cut and adjust and wheedle every single thing that we can out of the money that we did receive. So far, it looks like we will be having 3 small-scale day camps in 3 different regions of Armenia (Tavush, Gheghardgunik, and Syunik if you want to check out a map). Which means about 120 Armenian children will be able to attend. We will have the same(ish) curriculum, which hopefully in the next few weeks we will be able to go through and adjust to not only reflect the reviews from last year, but to also account for the fact that there will not be any ‘advanced environmental leadership’ camp this year. On the up side, we will be working very hard this year to increase the visibility and sustainability of the ‘Green Camp’ program. A group of us, as part of the newly established Camps Initiative (which I co-chair, proud moment right here mom and dad, wipe that tear from the corner of your eye) have developed a sustainability plan which will allow future volunteers working with NGOs to transfer skills in a way that is logical and sustainable for the NGO and local community. These skills include budget management, curriculum development, logistical support, and evaluation along with a few others. Hopefully, the step by step plan is also flexible and clear enough that it can be easily passed off between volunteers as old ones leave and new ones come. With this plan, and a new memorandum of agreement, we will be approaching new NGOs in different regions of Armenia, offering our assistance in the planning and implementation of a ‘Green Camp’ in their area. Cross your fingers for us! While I am not doing nearly as much work as I had to do last year, just hearing the words ‘Green Camp’ tend to push my mind into a state of anxiety and exhaustion…but I know that in the end the reward will be worth it. Even if I only go to one camp this year : )

Oh, and if by any chance you would still like to donate to the ‘Green Camp’ cause, you can learn more about the project here:

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=305-063

Nor Tari Schnorhavor!

Happy New Year!

So, while I am way to full and tired to write an actual blog, I would like to share the fallowing with you. The following is conversation which happened just a few minutes ago around our kitchen table...but let me set the scene for you first.

This morning the entire family got up and traveled over to my host mother's village, where we visited her oldest brothers house for New Year's festivities (we had visited her other brother's house yesterday). We were all dressed to the 9's and had a lot of fun as 15 of us crammed around one small table that was chalk full of horavats (bbq meat), salad (not the leafy kind, the mayo kind), fruit, and pickled veggies...oOo..and of course alcohol. We spent 2 hours eating and toasting and drinking and repeating it all over and over and over again. Then we danced. Then drunk people slept and we were driven home. My host sister and I immediately fell asleep (this being around 5 sometime)and were woken by my host mother right before dinner.

Since the big dining room table is set for company (as it must be for 3 or 4 days after New Year) we ate in the kitchen. I in my rumpled pajamas, complete with still in place excessive eye make-up sat next to my host mother who was still dressed nicely. Next to her sat my host dad, still a little tipsy. My host sister Lilit was next. She skipped the pj's part though before her nap and sat in her skewed dress, with crazy hair (magically her make-up was still perfect though), and lastly my tatik was on the other side.

Dolma, 3 day old cold chicken (totally normal, and will be served for 2 more days at least), and two types of salad were on the table...and we had some soda too.

Angie (host mom): Ararat, take another dolma, this is all that is left and we need to finish it

Ararat (host dad): No, I am full, I don't want it

Angie: It is fine, just have one more

Katie: snickers softly, since this is a running them in the family

Tat: Katie is laughing (with a smirk on her own face)

Angie: Well, Katie needs to take one more too. This is all I boiled, we need to eat it!

Katie (incredulous with her eyes wide): BUT this is my third!!!

Angie: You just take one more, I will take one, Ararat will, and Lilit

Lilit (host sister, also incredulous): What? But I didn't laugh!!

Angie: There are only a few left, one for me, and Katie, and Ararat, and Lilit (As she scoops them onto each person's plate). Ha, finished!

Ararat: Angie, (pointing at the still half full bowl of salad on the table), finish that salad, we need the bowl

All: (smirk, since this is something said quite often in my family at meal times)

Angie: No, it is fine, we will finish it tomorrow morning

I love it. This is my life, made just a little more full and tired during the New Year!

Happy New Year to you all, I hope you have an amazing year filled with happiness and love, surrounded by friends and family!

and PS: I pinkie-swear promise when all the celebrating quiets down I will write a real blog.

Oh my, oh my do I have a lot to tell you all about.

As you know, my November and early December were pretty crazy. I attended my second and last All Vol (All Volunteer Conference) in Yerevan during four days in November. All Vol is a conference that EVERY SINGLE Peace Corps Volunteer in Armenia attends. While there are meetings and general programs, the most important part of the conference (for us Volunteers, of course) is getting together with friends that you never really get to see. We made (well, I set tables, other people cooked) a huge Thanksgiving dinner on the first night, for all of the PC volunteers and staff. It was amazing delicious this year! There were 27 pies! After dinner, there was a variety show. A few brave volunteers got up to sing and read poems and what have you. My favorite act was a compilation of popular songs, modified to be about our life here in Armenia. It was hilarious!

Another highlight of All Vol this year was the HIV/AIDS Day flash mob that almost all of the PCVs took part in. A couple of hardworking PCVs who head up the HIV/AIDS initiative organized the event. We all ordered HIV/AIDs awareness tee shirts, and on the last day of the conference walked together to the Opera in Yerevan. The opera is a pretty busy area of the city, with lots of people driving and walking through. Of course, we all had our tee shirts covered up while we met some Armenians (mostly students) who would join us as we walked toward another busy road. As we walked to this area, we straggled along, spreading the group out and trying to look as 'normal' as possible. When the first people reached the spot where we would 'mob', a whistle was blown and we all took off our coats (so people could see our shirts) and stood in a funny, eye catching pose until the whistle was blown a minute later. When that happened, we put back on our jackets and walked away in different directions like nothing strange had happened. It was pretty cool. We got A LOT of looks, which was the point, and while people stared, hopefully they got a chance to see the informative posters that some of the volunteers were holding. They were great..showing statistics about HIV/AIDS in Armenia (most people believe it doesn't exist here) and talking about condom use (most Armenian men think they are immune to disease...vodka kills everything, right?). After the mob, we all met up at a local club, yes, all 90 something volunteers..and had some pizza and hung out. It was an amazing experience, one I was glad to take part in.

The HIV/AIDS problem here is actually a pretty interesting one. While awareness of the virus is for sure getting more attention, and slowly people are becoming more knowledgeable, I think a number of things make it hard to spread information and awareness in the country. The first is the taboo associated with all things sex related here. Women DO NOT have sex before marriage, end of story. Girl and boys are taught that it is SHAMEFUL to discuss any type of sex related topic. Unlike the US, there are NO sex-ed classes in schools to give the children here the basic facts they need to know to keep themselves safe and healthy, and from what I gather children are for sure not able to ask their parents any questions that they might have. Another problem is the gender role situation. I am hugely

After All Vol, myself and a few other volunteers hung around to work with American Counsels in Yerevan to design and plan a mini Project Design and Management program for returned FLEX students. FLEX is a program that allows Armenian High School students (who have good grades and speak passable English) to travel to America to live and study for a year.

I really do suck at keeping this thing up to date. I am sorry. I pinky swear promise I will try harder this time.

Part of the problem is that I have been crazy, crazy busy in these last few weeks, and will continue to be so until January probably. I really need to learn to say NO. Actually, I lie, I like the busy...it makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing something AND makes the time absolutely fly by. 9 months and counting. Yup.

Let me tell you about some things that have been going on. A few weeks ago I spent the week in Robby's (another PCV) village of Վարդաբլուր (Vardablur). The village is a teeny tiny one, in between Vanadzor and Stepanavan. Robby, Rani (yet another PCV, check out the teamwork here people) and myself put on a 'mini Green Camp' for some of the younger kids in Robby's after-school clubs. Let me tell you, I was super excited to head back to the village, not only because the camp sounded fun, but also because Robby's host family ROCKS! There is a grandmother, mother, and 3 little kids (12, 9, and 4ish). I love them like whoa. I miss living with a big family (if you remember I lived in a family of 12 during PST) and enjoy having kids around. And if any Armenians are reading this..չէ ես չեմ ուզում երեխաներ հիմա!!! (NO I don't want children right now!)But moving on. The first few days that I was there were absolutely fantastic. We made some good food and had a good time. The camp was going pretty well even though the kids had the attentions spans of goldfish! We did some easy team building activities and played a lot of environmental games, including one where they were bees and had to run around collecting 'pollen' for their hive! Everything was going well, until the day I became insanely ill. I woke up and my stomach wasn't right, and then by mid day I couldn't stand up without almost passing out and had to run downstairs to the bathroom every hour. That was LAME! What was really weird about it was that by the next morning I felt better, but later in the day (after a great visit to Lori Berd, and old fortress) I felt horrible all over again. After staying one day longer then I was supposed to, I finally doled out the cash to take a taxi back to Dilijan because there was no way I was crawling into a crowded marshutka. After a few more days of sick in Dilijan, and starting some antibiotics, I finally felt better. Thank God. I can count the number of times I have been stomach sick in this country on one hand, and I don't want to kill that record!

The week after Robby's camp, I got my schedule for Sunchild and the 2nd School all worked out, which is nice. I work with 3 classes at the school (5th and 6th form) and am going to start an after school club their next week. I love those kids. They remind me of why I came to this country in the first place, even if I am teaching English :( . Oh well. I love playing games with them, and they love the fact that I don't make them memorize and read pointless stories out of their silly books. Note: Insert a much stronger word where 'silly' is. I just don't feel like talking about it.

My Sunchild classes happen three times a week, and are mostly becoming a mix of a lot of Environmental and a little bit of English. I have decided that until they pay for an Armenian to help me out (so I am not stealing a job in a country where they are desperately needed) I will not be teaching strait English classes, end of story. The kids don't seem to care that much, and I am much happier. My class today went fantastically! We had three new girls show up, and we learned about birds. The kids had a TON of fun, and I will follow up the class tomorrow with a little bit of bird watching..good times all around!

oOo..I almost forgot. On Saturday I spent $3000 bucks. Yup. $3000. That is more money then I make in a YEAR here! My director and I went shopping for all of the technology needed for our Dilijan Art Center. Our first class will happen on Saturday (a community art lesson) and from that day on there will be program every SINGLE Saturday. I am super stoked for this project! Tomorrow I will work on setting up the technology, and hopefully the men will get all the furniture moved around where we want it to be! Why the men, you ask? Because this is Armenia, of course, and moving heavy furniture is 'man's work'. duh!

Next week will also be my FIRST, yes FIRST, lesson with the Art School kids. Why now? after 1 and 1/2 years?? Because the teachers finally decided that it was a good idea, and honestly, I think my Program Director coerced them into letting me work with the teachers. I'm cool with it. Means to an end, right? So, on Tuesday of next week I will have an hour with EVERY SINGLE CHILD in the school. They will come up to the auditorium and watch a movie and slide show presentation about the ocean. I am going to talk about different ecosystems in the ocean, different animals that live there, and how OUR actions effect those creatures. It will be GOOD. It needs to be or it will never, ever happen again. As it was they killed a lot of ideas this afternoon during our meeting, I was basically told what to do instead of asked, but oh well...you have to start somewhere right?

Part of the busyness going on is things that I am involved with outside of Dilijan as well. I am heading this weekend to work on by-laws for the 'Environmental Action Initiative', in two weeks I will (cross your fingers) hopefully be a participant in an International Youth Fair. Which is basically a conference with teams representing their 'home' countries. We will cook some Thanksgiving dinner (yum), teach some baseball, and basically tell people all about America. Of course, we will be learning all about their countries as well. Like I said, keep your fingers crossed please! Right after that conference (or during, maybe) I have to meet with a bunch of volunteers to start planing our Woman's Day Expo and Poster Contest...and that is all before All Vol, which is the All Volunteer conference for 4 days in Yerevan.

Immediately after All Vol, I'm talking next day here, I will take part in a TOT (training of trainers) for a mini PDM (Project Design and Management) conference that I will help facilitate for FLEX students. Man, sorry for all of the acronyms. Peace Corps loves them, obviously!

After that?, you ask...well...drum roll please...GERMANY! Yup. I will have two days in Tbilisi, Georgia and then fly to Munich for 5 days. I am SUPER excited for this trip. Tbilisi activities are still up in the air, but in Munich we will be seeing a concentration camp, a castle, a Christmas bazaar, and more then a couple of beer gardens. It is going to be AMAZING!

Well, I think that is all for now. I am in a much better place then I was a few weeks ago, and hopefully will remain that way. It is amazing what a set schedule and plans and flying time can do for a girl : )

I love you all and miss you...

Wow, a second entry in just under two weeks...I am feeling proud, especially considering my horrible track record in keeping things up to date. Well, on with it...

This last week has been pretty ok. I am finally on my way to having a set schedule and routine, which will last at least until Christmas time. It's a start. I am going to be helping out with at least 2, if not 3, English classes at the secondary school...I am going to sit with the teachers next Tuesday to try and work out with the third class actually meets. Even they don't know for sure. I have already started back with the 5th form, which consists of all the amazing kids I worked with in the 4th form last year. They make me almost as happy as I make them. I love those kids to death. They were so glad to see me when I walked in there was cheering and applause and they all jumped up to give me a hug! It was great, an amazing feeling after a few weeks of feeling kind of crappy. I have also promised a few kids that I would be coming to their class this year too, hence the other 2 classes that I am trying to work out. Next week should get it all worked out, or at least I hope so.

Frankly, my Sunchild classes have kind of gone to hell. Because of the weather, a lot of the kids (90%) have not been showing up to classes, and a few of the older kids are being distracting and giving me some trouble. We make plans, they say they will be there, I do all this work to plan a great class and then no one shows up. Or, they show up and then refuse to do anything. It is mildly ridiculous, actually, scratch the mildly it is just ridiculous. It doesn't help that I am really not happy with Sunchild right now anyway. They basically see me as an employee that they can boss around..and more importantly as a way to get out of paying an Armenian to teach English and lead the classes. Yup, English classes...and I am NOT an English volunteer, I am an Environmental one. Basically, I am taking someone's job. Which, by the way, is against everything that the Peace Corps stands for. I told them about 5 months ago that I was going to stop teaching English unless they found someone to teach with me, and that has not happened and they have made it known that it will not. լավ չի (not good), what will happen when I leave in 10 months?? Totally unsustainable...which makes me think that they really have no idea what the Peace Corps program is all about. It is cool though, my program director and the Peace Corps know all about it, and are completely on my side about the situation. We will see what happens. Honestly, if it weren't for the awesomeness of most of the kids that I work with, I probably would have stopped working with them a long time ago.

Oh snap! The downpour just stopped...so I am going to run and pick up a package at the Post office!!

Miss you all!

Well, I guess that really started in September, but most of the realization has come in the last couple of days.

According to official Peace Corps documents all of us A-17s (who are a little more then halfway through, with only about 10 months left) are experiencing what is called a 'mid-service crisis'. Catchy, no? While I would not go so far as calling what I am going through a 'crisis' (at least not compared to my entire first 6 months here, or my first few months back after last Christmas, or various other weeks of hellishness that I have experienced here), I would go as far as saying that it is unsettling and not even close to what I was expecting to feel at this point in my service.

Then again, what am I at this point if not used to watching my expectations fall through the drain? That came out very wrong, but the words work. Expectations here have a way of never really being met, most of us PCVs have come to terms with the fact that what we expect is never really what is going to happen during our service. For example, we came in with all these grand expectations of changing the world and making huge differences in our communities, and quickly realized that the changes would mostly be to small groups of people and largely to ourselves and the way we think about the world. On the other side though, I never expected to gain two new families while I was here, I never really expected to pick up the language, and I never EVER expected (at least not during my first 8 months in country) that I would dread leaving this place. So maybe it is not so much being used to failing to meet expectations, just very used to watching expectations change drastically and go in directions that were never thought of.

Back on task though...what brought about that nice mini rant about expectations is the fact that one of the bigger issues for me during this 'crisis' is that I am not sure that I have lived up to the expectations that my community had for me, that Peace Corps had for me, or that I had for myself. Although I have done a lot here, it doesn't really seem like I have done enough. I have for sure not done everything that I wanted to. I have done more English teaching then Environmental, I have put everything I had into one project and am waiting now for it's inevitable crash and burn, and I have failed in any way shape or form to bring about necessary change in the one organization I work the most with. As I settle in to deal with my last Winter here and start to think about my plans for when I go home, I think of more and more and more things that I would have loved to accomplish while I was here, and am beginning to realize that some of those things are really never going to happen. That hurts a little bit. What saves me from a total collapse is thinking about what I have accomplished here. I love the kids I work with to death, and (on most days) they feel the same way about me. I watched 184 kids go to a Green Camp, and know that while most of them will continue to throw their trash on the ground, 3 or 4 or 5 of them will not, and I had a part in making that happen. I know that a certain 5th form class of kids is waiting patiently for me to return to their English class so the monotony of memorization and ridiculous book reading is broken up with some songs and games and coloring. I know that my host families (Karenis and Dilijan) will genuinely miss me when I am gone. And, if I have failed (and will probably continue to fail) to pass on skills to any adult in my community, at least I will leave knowing that I made an impression the children here. They are the future, right?

During this 'crisis', I constantly weigh the 'accomplished' column against the 'failed' column, and am left to wonder whether I can make up the difference in the short time I have left here. I have just 10 months to make all of these plans that I have up in my head happen for real, 10 months to tip the scale so that I can leave this place knowing that I gave it my absolute all. It puts me into a planning frenzy...lists and lists of things to do and plans to make and meetings to hold. It is more then a little daunting.

During this time of planning and time lines and deadlines for myself, I am of course keeping track of how much time I have left in Armenia. While I am so so so happy when I think about going home and being able to see and hug everyone that I have missed SO much that it physically hurt for months at a time, the small part of my heart that keeps me happy and sane while I am here is getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Imagine that scene at the end of 'The Grinch', where his heart outgrows it's frame, kind of like that. I sat out on the porch with my host mom the other day, and as we watched the sunset on one of the few warm days that we see now, she reminded me that this was my last Fall in Armenia. After that, we sat in silence for a few minutes, and then mutually decided to never bring it up again, since talking about it made us both so sad. I often refer to my time here as 'Peace Corps life' and time in America as 'the real world'. I always imagine my time here as some kind of other world experience, while the real world continues at home without me. While I always talk about, and HAPPILY count down to, the day when I will once again rejoin the real world...it didn't hit me until a few days ago leaving this Peace Corps world is going to break my heart almost as much as when I first left America.

When I watched the last group leave Armenia, and followed their later updates on Facebook, I wondered how people who seemed so unhappy here could possibly mourn the loss of the life that was so aggravating and frustrating as they returned to America, and (while I am nowhere near as unhappy as they seemed to be) I think get it now. As aggravated as I get here sometimes, I remember how aggravated I got at work in the states. The difference here is that my life IS my work. Peace Corps, and everything that comes along with it, is my life. Has been my life for the last 17 months. I eat and sleep and breathe Peace Corps Armenia. I have worked so hard to become integrated here to make changes and get work done, that I have done it...I have made this place my home. After traveling,that familiar sense of ease hits me as my marshutka passes through the tunnel signaling that I am a short 15 minutes away from home. Not away from Dilijan, away from home.

I have two homes now, and while the pull of one far outweighs the other, it is still going to hurt to leave my Armenian home. People say the home is where the heart is, and over the last few weeks I have realized that when I leave THIS home, a small part of my heart will stay here with it.

So, I leave you to get all my stuff together for work, knowing that all of these thoughts and contradictions and emotions will continue to swirl together and pester me. In theory, I will be through this 'mid service crisis' in just about a month, and it will all be pleasant feelings for the 9 months after...I will let you know how that works out.

But, I guess it's a true story, Peace Corps really is 'The hardest job you'll ever love'.

That it has been so long since I posted a new blog. Again, I apologize. Sorry. I promise that I will get better, absolutely pinkie swear promise. On my honor.

Well, I guess the big question floating around is what I have been up to since I wrote that last blog. Well, the answer up until a month ago would have been Green Camps, and in the last month it could be any number of things, but mostly writing my SPA (Small Project Assistance) grant. Let me expand:

Green Camps took up my Summer. End of story. I participated in a total of four day camps and one overnight camp. The day camps happened in 3 different marzes (regions) and were held in Dilijan, Vardablur village, Nerkin Getashin, and Ijevan. While I did not participate in the Dilijan camp (I know, weird, since I live there) I did play administrator and/or counselor at the other three. Our final camp (the ADVANCED camp, if you will) included 4 exceptional student leaders from each of the other camps, plus twenty-four other campers from all around Armenia (OK, not all around, but 4 marzes). Not sure which camp I last blogged about, but let's just say that while everyone pulled through, the Ijevan camps were a little bit of a struggle. We are going to chalk it up to cultural differences and leave it at that. Would you like some Summer totals?? I thought you would..so here goes:

Total # of children participating in day camps (ELC): 160

Total # of children participating in overnight camp (ALC): 40

Total # of trained HCN (host country national) counselors: 16

Total number of trash clean ups completed: 5

Total number of 'don't litter' signs posted: 16ish

Total number of flowers planted: a whole lot

Total number of awareness signs made: 6

GRAND TOTAL OF CHILDREN WHO ARE NOW EQUIPPED WITH THE LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND ENVIRONMENTAL KNOWLEDGE TO PLAN AND LEAD THEIR OWN PROJECTS: drumroll please...

184!! Woohoo!

Not too shabby right? In the end, it was totally worth the arguments and hassles and late nights up developing new curriculum. Hopefully it was worth it to all of the people I harassed the crap out of too. They are still speaking to me, so apparently they thought it all turned out pretty OK to.

After a brief period of time (3 or 4 days, tops.) when I laid around all day doing nothing to recover from the above mentioned camps, it was time to start working with my organization (the Dilijan Art School) to write a SPA grant. SPA is a small grant program (max 5000 bucks) that is designed for PCVs. Ideally, the process of writing a SPA passes on grant writing skills to the host organization...mine did (I think) because I made them do most of the leg work, where I relied on my fluent English to make the thing sound pretty. I guess I also guided them in the right direction on a lot of things as well. When Armenians see limits, like say 5000 bucks, they want to reach those limits...and it was tough to impress on them the idea that we don't want to spend money just to spend it. And mother, so help me you make a crack here about my personal money spending habits! Anyway..It was also harder for them because there were rules to follow, rules that ABSOLUTELY had to be followed..that your position in society or friendship with another person couldn't get you out of. That is also something kind of odd here.

Our project, which I hinted at, is going to be to establish a Dilijan Community Art Center. I think the title says it all. It is going to be in two rooms in the school that are renovated but not used, and the community is going to pay all of the utilities and provide furniture and internet and the like (pretty great, no?..I was surprised)..we are going to buy a couple of computers, a scanner, and a projector. These various technologies will be used to do four different things every month:

1. A community art class, led by the art school teachers and open to only those people not attending the Art School or Art Academy already.

2. Guest lecturers, from Yerevan, talking about anything in the art world. We have people lined up to talk about their art projects, art history, and even ways in which they use art to call attention to other issues.

3. A public movie screening..which is pretty variable..but will include movies about the pyramids, about famous artists, and even animations and movies made by the Sunchild Eco Club in Dilijan.

4. Some type of computer program class. We were going to do Photoshop, but that is a problem..so we are searching for another program now. What is cool about this class is that we are going to make everyone that takes it come back and teach again, talk about sustainability!

So...that is my SPA in a nutshell...I am sure I will be talking about it a whole lot more now that it has been APPROVED! We just need to revise (see #4 above) and then we will be on our way. I am pretty pretty stoked for it!

Other then SPA, I have been working on (or very shortly will be working on) a whole bunch of side projects. My favorite is starting a Girl Scout Troop! Yep, you read it right, a Girl Scout troop in Dilijan, Armenia..but are you really all that surprised? I certainly am not. We are just getting started on the planning process now, but thankfully another PCV started one down south, so we can use a lot of the materials from hers. It is going to be a pretty good time, and as soon as the details are hammered out I will fill you all in.

I am also starting an 'English Corner' soon...basically it will be a little library chock full of easy English novels and books for people to borrow and use to increase their English skills. I am going to have a once/month conversation club as well, so people in the community who have fairly OK English skills can come and practice. Not like I really pick up on mistakes anymore, I can barely handle the language myself :).

One of the leading youth, well, leaders in the community is also working with me to create some EVS projects. This means that we are trying to get European volunteers (European Volunteer Service) to come to Dilijan. This is for sure just in the 'kicking it around' phase..but we have four of five project ideas that just need to be flushed out a bit more. Cross your fingers, this would be AMAZING for the community.

OH MY! How could I forget my Sunchild club? We are staring again in October (the kids are mighty excited!), but the format is going to be a tid bit different from last year. I basically told Sunchild that I needed someone to teach at least English with me..and it is getting worked on. This year though, I am only having club 3 times a week for an hour and fifteen minutes at a time. If you remember earlier blogs, you know that last year we met an insane 4 or 5 times a week for 2 or 3 hours at a go....TOO MUCH! The kids got bored, I got irritated, and it was fun for no one. So this year, I basically grew some and decided it wasn't going to be that way and let them know about it. I will be teaching one English class, one environmental class, and one 'connections' class once a week. I think the English and environmental are pretty strait forward..but the connections is probably the coolest of them all. Connections is when I am going to make the 'connection' (huh, get it?) between the kids everyday lives and what they are learning in the other two classes. This means that we will be doing nature related art projects, creating our own service projects, and writing letters (in English) to pen pals in the states.

Keep your fingers crossed that all of this works out according to plan for me...I have less then a year left (10 1/2 months exactly, but who's counting?) and a lot of things to accomplish in that time...

hajoutsyun dzes (Goodbye, plural!)