So dear friends and family do not be worried about me. I am healthy, safe, and at the end of the day loving life as always. So I have had some troubles, but who doesn’t?? No one’s problems are greater than anothers, just different. That is the big life lesson my nuns and my Bibi have taught. We all have troubles, but we all get through them somehow. This life in TZ is so special and wonderful. I cannot believe it will all end in a matter of months. Inshallah, I will return someday.

Tears fall …

So the past several months have been my most trying. I went from being ecstatically happy to being an emotional basket-case. I wish I could point out one event that caused it all, but it has been caused by a myriad of reasons. Have no fears dear friends and family, I am slowly but surely getting out of this slump. Maybe this is something I go through every few years, an identity crisis to be exact. Who am I? What meaning do I have in this world? Who are my friends? Am I good at anything I do besides socializing? Is my only role in life is to be the “entertainer”? Am I destined to always be a bridesmaid and never a bride (don’t think I want to get married now, but I have been informed that men are afraid of me, hence the complete lack of a love life). Do people take me seriously? Am I just one big joke?

These questions all came out of what has been happening here in Tanzania. I started to question who are truly my friends in my village and whom are just pretending to be my friends for hopes of getting money from me. I started to become insanely insecure about whether or not my students understand me and whether they do in fact need me as their teacher. My Kiswahili is crap and should be better after 21 months. My old neighbor who moved after his wife died has since written me a letter professing his love to me and asking me to marry him and be a mother to his kids. How sad I am for him. He is looking for a woman who can love his kids as much as his wife did. I do love them, but cannot return his sentiment. It saddens me to write the inevitable rejection letter that I have been post-posing because I know it will cause him great pain. And now I no longer feel comfortable to go and visit their family alone before I depart from here. I might drag Charles with me if he can. Otherwise, I won’t go and see my Kissa and Bitwale. I found out that my counterpart (closest work colleague) has been sleeping with our students for years…this in itself has been one of the hardest to deal with. I also found out that a new young teacher who claims to be all for the development of Tanzanian youth, has been getting our students drunk (he gave one boy 8 beers one night) and has also been sleeping with students. The man just came in February. I also found that he had been transferred to our school for this very reason, but yet he still continues and nothing will be done. As for my counterpart, he is the Second Master (next in command after the headmaster) and since he is highly respected and has a family, nothing will be done. My headmaster is retiring this year and does not want to rock any boats before he leaves. As for my relationship with my teachers, it does not exist. I have found out most, including my counterpart, don’t like the fact that I am so close to the students and talk all sorts of shiot about me. I can deal with this relationship with the teachers, but I do have a problem when it causes problems for my students. Several weeks ago, I sent my peer educators to the local primary school to teach after school. The teacher on duty was not notified and became angry and punished them instead of talking to me. He thought they were playing hooky from school. So therefore one of my boys got beaten down by a stick because of me. I only found out after the fact. The teachers told the boy that they would talk to me. Instead, I learn all of this from my favorite student who confesses all of these mishappenings after the fact. She tells me that there is tension between the students and teachers because of my activities. She tells me that some students are afraid to help me for fear from the rest of the staff. I then ask her what to do? Should I teach only? Or should I continue with my health club and HIV activities? She gave me solid advice and told me to continue because the students love me, but that I need to work on the actual timing. Bless her, she is only 18 and oh so bright. Her name is Oliver and she is the one whose tuition fees I have been paying since I got here. I went and talked to my headmaster about my situation. I also got malaria and had my bag stolen all in one week. I became disheartened by the lack of local and school community support for my big HIV Remembrance week. Furthermore, my babu had been sent to the hospital for respiratory problems. These are just a few of the reasons that have been causing the tears to fall.

Tears dry…

So school has closed for vacation and I remain at school doing review classes with Forms II and IV. Today is the first day I have really relaxed in a really long time. Hence the fact that I have time to write these inner thoughts to you all. I finished all of my students reports and grades. This is quite a tedious task. Luckily we have calculators. I teach about 270 kids so I had to grade all of their exams, tally each of their term grades, and order rankings, and fill out 2 report forms for each student. Bloody hell, makes one love the scan tron machine and computer system we have in place in the states. It does not help that I model all of my tests on the national exams so my tests are the longest, most difficult, and include essays. A total nightmare. But now I am done and can chill with Forms II and IV and have fun teaching again. I also cleaned my office and feel much better. Those who have been seen any of my abodes (office, bedroom, etc.) during my times of stress, all know how much better and relaxed I felt after a good cleaning. Too bad, I am just a naturally disorganized person and cannot keep anything uncluttered for longer than a day. I am also finishing up the syllabi and feel confident that my kids are gonna rock out on their National Exams.

My main Bibi and my nuns all started to notice differences in me…eyes sunk in, losing weight (my family would be ecstatic to see me now), more quiet, etc…This emotional crisis helped me to break down in front of these women, therefore releasing a lot of the demons. They have been so great to me and I know that they love me for me and not because I represent money. Pretty ironic that I, Vicki Mathew, actually represent money. For those who know me best, know that this is irony at its best.

I became upset one day in class and told my kids I was ready to go back to America since they don’t understand me. My favorite student Oliver, wrote me a note that helped to get me out of this slump. She wrote “Dear Madame, Not everyone is going to be able to understand you. This is a normal thing in the world. Do not be pained by this. I want you to know I have never known a teacher who teaches as nicely as you”…I cried when I read this note and have it on my wall. I wonder if this little girl knows how she has helped me so. I also started to change my teaching methodology again so that I can assess my students understanding better. I am also using Form IV students and having them do review lessons with the lower classes. This has made life as a teacher all the more enjoyable.

My HIV Awareness week ended up being a huge success. I think we reached about 1500 people directly with information about HIV prevention, testing, etc.. My local and school community eventually supported my endeavors. We ended the week with a Talent Competition between several schools all featuring acts having messages about HIV. The teachers and local community came out for this and really rallied. I worked in conjunction with Population Services International (PSI) to educate the people of Namabengo. PSI is now boasting about our HIV week to other villages and it is looking like they will also try to replicate. So this feels really good. Sustainability…we shall see if my villagers take some initiative without my prodding.

My friends and family back home, fellow volunteer buddies, and Babu all continue to be a life line that gets me through the roughest of times. My friend Liz from Minnesota is visiting in a few weeks with her buddy Jackie, so it will be good to be away and have someone from home see my life here. Liz was one of my best friends in London when I worked there in 2001.We are going on safari to Ngorongoro Crater and the Serengetti, chill in Songea and Namabengo, and of course hit the Spice Islands (Zanzibar). I am so excited I can hardly stand it. We just had a birthday party for Heidi last night at Babu’s. We made homemade pizza and chocolate cake. Last weekend, we had “Asian Night” at Babu’s and had a meal that almost rivalled the International Feast we had at NFLC in 2003. In Songea, we have a VSO from the Philippines, several JIKA volunteers from Japan, and me the token Indian besides the American PCV’s and Babu our Dutch-Brit-Tanzanian faction. Also we had the Tanzanian houseboys and some random Italian veterinarians….we had a blast and ate our hearts out. Several weekends ago Charles and I met up with other PCV’s in Njombe for a bonfire party. This was the first non-Songea outing I had done in a long time. It was good to get out and see the others. Babu is healthy and not in the hospital anymore. Maria will be leaving in August which will be very sad. We have grown extremely close lately and she has proven to have a great shoulder to lean on. We have a newcomer to our Songea family named Alfie. He is working with the “Miracle Corner of the World” and hails from the Philly area and will be leaving in September. I continue to come to Songea almost weekly and see the regulars (Babu, Charles, Maria, and Keegan). Mike and Bram will come once a month so we all can touch base and be support for each other or just flat out party. We have had non stop visitors this year. It has been really nice to feel the love from so many volunteers, but at the same time I like it when it is just us “ The Songea crew” and we can be the way that we are when we are just us…do you know what I mean? I miss Mark, Melanie, and Alicia terribly, but luckily we all keep in touch. Had phonecalls from the sisters which is always a really big plus. Sadness takes over me as I know I have missed several of my best friends weddings over the past few weeks. I think I am at a count of 20-something weddings missed thus far and 4 babies.

My students are amazing. They are the heart and soul of my existence here. Not to mention all of the gorgeous dirt covered little rugrats whose wounds I bandage up often.

I keep on finding more and more little kiddies sitting on my front porch waiting for me to return home so that I can clean a real or fake wound and bandage them up. Some of them have taught me how to play bao in the dirt. All we need is dirt and rocks. It truly is the greatest game ever played.

As for my relationship with the teachers, I keep my distance without totally isolating myself. They easily forget that I am a teacher here. To them I am a mgeni (guest). To be honest, I am. At the end of the day, these 27 months here will be merely drops in the bucket of my life. To these villagers, their buckets are filled with the constant problems that they face here with no chance of escape. To them, I am on vacation. To them, their entire lives are just one big prison sentence.

I did not come here to save the world. But I did come here to get a better understanding of a truly simple life. I came here to help in whatever way I can. I came here to empower children and others. The list goes on as to why I came here, but I feel like I have “somehow” accomplished the ones mentioned. I will be ready to leave here December 2005. It does break my heart to think of leaving my kids, Bibi, nuns, Babu, dog, house, general lifestyle here…but my heart grows weary and will need a rest.

So my next plan of action is to go to yet another developing country, India, and to become “one” with my people for a year. Of course I don’t think I will be able to achieve complete “oneness” with my people after only a year, but at least I will have a freakin clue about my parents homeland by that time. I am completely aware that I will face the same problems I have had in Tanzania, but “somehow” in different forms as is the case in most of life. I look forward to spending time with my mom and finally understanding her roots. Next year will be a good year. The past 21 months have been amazing and I have no regrets, I will just be ready for a change. I had seriously contemplated staying in Tanzania and working an extra 6 months -1 year, but feel the pull towards India.

My plan is to leave Songea the first week of December with Charles (PCV in Songea), travel around South East Africa with him to South Africa, fly out of Jo-burg to Dubai, meet up with Melanie (our old VSO buddy from Songea now living in Qatar) for two days, then be in Trivandrum, India the second week in January. Charles and Charlie (another PCV) will be my travel bodyguards and we will chill with my mom for a week and then take off touring around India for a few weeks. They will then continue to travel around the world and I will return to Trivandrum and hopefully find some sort of volunteering opportunity in India for the remainder of the year. Then in 2007 travel around the world visiting my peops, land in Alaska and make my way cross country visiting friends and family everywhere until I begin grad school in June 2007. No I have not applied to any schools yet, but have my eye on some and might be East Coast again come 2007. I think my travel bug will be out by then. We shall see, life changes day by day.

I say, this has been a rather dramatic account.

So I have been slack and have not updated this badboy since August. You can chalk it up to me 1)being lazy, 2)e-mail being crap in Songea, 3)viruses flooding Babu John's computer because of the internet computer so therefore I cannot type on his comuputer and copy on a disk because John did not have virus protection, 4)me being super busy, 5)life finally settling in...all of these reasons are why the past 6 months of my life have not been recorded and displayed for you all to see.

As most of you know, I went home over Christmas break for Varsha and Bertie's wedding. Alot to say about that trip. I will save it for another time.

What I can say is that my best friend Amy wrote me after noticing my lack of entries in this blog "Since you have not written for awhile I am guessing that you are too busy at life in TZ and all is really falling into place for you finally"...she knows me too well. It suddenly hit me in September. The "IT" that Kate Iaconetti and I use to talk about waiting for in Reading had finally happened to me here in TZ. TZ was home to me come September. Not sure what sequence of events that it took for me to finally realize that I am at home here...maybe it was the fact that I suddenly had Tanzanian friends that I could REALLY talk to if I was upset about something, maybe it was the fact that I no longer felt bad leaving Namabengo on the weekends and coming to town...I am comfortable that I have a place in that society regardless of me being there on Sat, maybe it was that I had a party to go to every Sunday in my village, maybe it was that I had a matching outfit with all the mamma's in my village, maybe it was that I recognize that I have a family in Songea that loves and appreciates me for all that I am, maybe it is because I finally think I am physically attractive, maybe it is because coming home and chilling with my dog and staring at the wall are the times when I am most at peace, maybe it is because I am myself at school and dont mind standing up for what I believe in against other teachers, maybe it is because I no longer hear the name of the old oober volunteer who use to live in my village..I only hear Mamma Mila now, maybe it is because hordes of children run after me wherever I go in my village just because they know I will talk with them or smile at them (they dont ask me for candy or magazines like they use to), maybe it is because I know that my kids know that I would do any and everything for them,maybe it is because I organized a day to celebrate my female students and I think it helped them somehow, maybe it is because I love teaching...the list goes on and on. Suddenly it all clicked. At this point in my life, this is home.

So no worries about me. Don't get me wrong, life is not perfect here, but it works for me.

Later entries will include 1)More details about the last 6 months and 2)A cry for help for my school (need some monetary contributions folks desperately to build a water well (need $3,000, can be a tax write off since it through Peace Corps),get a computer & printer(need $700) , have an HIV/AIDS week ($500), take my health club to climb Kilimanjaro in November(need about $1,500)...let me know if you are willing to help. I figure God blessed me with alot of friends that even if all only gave $20, I could accomplish all of the above somehow.

Peace and love to all.

So I know I am dreaming about being their guardian angel but I will do what I can for them. I am such a sap and get too attached way too quickly I know. So I went to Songea to relx for the weekend and hung with Mel, Charles, Mark and John. We all crashed at Mark's house while watching School of Rock on his computer. That night we all cooked a kickass carrot cake and burrito dinner at Mel's house. She has a room at her house that she calls "Vicki's room". Things at her school have been really crap and I was really scared she was gonna leave Songea. But somehow things have gotten better and she will staying out her entire VSO contract.

So returned back to Namabengo for two weeks. During that time, I actually taught classes, chilled with my dog, wrote craploads of letters, and hung with the momma's. I went to my first Tanzanian funeral. Charles has been to 12!!!!Geez. Anyways, the kid who died his name was Issaya. Isn't that a beautiful name??I love that name. He was one of the first people I met in Namabengo and I never knew his name until he died. He was 28 years and had Down's Syndrome. He was the sweetheart of the village and everyone loved him despite the fact that he always asked for money upon seeing anyone. For years everyday he would comeinto the hospital and tell the nurses that he was sick . They simply gave him a vitamin everyday and he was always better. One week he really was sick, and no one took him seriously until 2 days before he died and he said to Sister Yassinta (the head nun/head of hospital) "I am going to die". 2 days later he died of malaria. Will pots more details in 2 weeks time.

Right so, it is sad to see the dad be so sad and quiet. Death affects the partner more tha anyone else. That is probably why it is so freakin scary to fall in love. To lose that person is to lose yourself. When you say "I do" you say "I do" to becoming one unit and when one half of that unit is taken you don't know yourself anymore. That is my theory on love and death. Not that I have ever been in love with someone who has died or have been in love at all. LOVE is the scariest thing in the world.

So I went to Madaba to hang with my favorite Sister Judy and fam. It was lot of fun. We chilled. They fed me so much meat and good food, I was happy chappy. We walked around they showed me their brother's grave. It was nice to be with Tanzanian family. I feel like the friendship between me nd SJ is deepening and her invitng me home with her was a big step. Her brother is studying to be a priest and spent the past 3 years studying in the Phillipines. It was nice to meet a nice, handsome, well-educated, and knowledgeable young Tanzanian man. We had loads to talk about and he taught me how to kill a chicken. I KILLED CHICKEN!!! It was really easy and damn tastey (pole to my vegetarian friends. But all who know me best know my love for the succulent flesh of chicken). I was most impressed with the brother cleaning the table, washing dishes, and cooking. This was the first time I have seen this country. Men got it easy. Boys too. Mamma's and girls carry water, wood, and bricks on their heads, clean floors, make the meals, take care of babies, wash the clothes, etc while the little boys roll tires and the men drink the local pombe and walk around the village trying to get signals for their radios. Bloody useless =the male gender in this country (except for the cool brother).I was annoyed at my bad my Kiswahili was at her village. I was not in my element and really need to study it more. SJ's mamma was loaded the whole time too which was quite humorous. My last night there some random guys were running in the street and yellng and she got up and was afraid they were gonna steal all of her ears of corn that she had just harvested and placed outside her house. Bless her.

Then Sister Judy nd I headed back to Songea and met her other sibling sister. I basically met her entire family. Pretty sweet. And SJ's father looks like Nelson Mandela but shorter.

So then I chilled in Songea and visited babu John nd worked on his computer typing my grant for the empowerment conference. I caught the last dala dala back to Namabengo. They packed about 35 people again in a 20 person van. I was lucky enough to have my Form III student pressed against me allowing me not to breathe (note sarcasm). I did have my eyes on her waist and saw a malish hand creeping its way along her waist. It was the hand of one of the dala dala men. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt nd figured that he had no other place to rest his hand. But then when his skanky fingers pinched her arss I HIT THE ROOF!!! The dd had stopped at that time to let people off and I gave him an earful and hit him. I told him he had better not ever touch another one of my students again or I would hurt him!!!!The entire dd was stunned and enjoyed my lethal Kiswahili usage. I told him that I am the mother of these girls and that he had better watch out. He hd to deal with a death glare form me for the duration of the ride. For those who know my looks best know that the death glare is not a glare anyone wants to get from me.So I returned home to my baby Mila and prayed that I got to teach the next day. Of course I had not missed any classes because the kids were still making bricks. Bricks or education???Freakin Tanzanians and their messed up priorities in life.

So I chilled with the village people as always, finally started to teach some classes when they were not making bricks,and what have you.Teaching Form IV now which is fun. They are now experiencing the Vicki phenomena of teaching. Nothing they have ever seen before. I now know how much they dont know and how much my other students do know. Good I am doing something right.My Form III's this year will rock out next year as Form IV's. But all in all the kids are great. Form IB missed me off by losing school book I let them use. I vowed not to step foot in their clss until they returned the book or paid for the book. They need to lose a lesson. Did I mention tht grades dont matter in this country? Only the results of the national exams matter which disheartens me but also makes me less stressed bout not teaching Form IB. They need to learn that they are screwing up. It has now been three weeks and no book nd no payment. They are starting to feel nervous about their test that I am gonna give them in a week which they will fail (and not count). They could just copy the notes from IA but htey have recognized that they cannot understand the notes without me teaching them. Boohoo, maybe they should hve thought of that before they were so bloody careless with the school book. Any other teacher would have beaten their arsses down with a stick. I never want to go that route. Sad to think that the stick is the only punishment they respond to. My health club advised me (their advisor) that 3 weeks is too long and that I need to send this matter to the 2nd master. Sad. For 3 weeks I step into their class and ask for the book or payment and ge nothing. By me not teaching them to prove point is that any better than the fimbo???I try to tell myself that they are realizing how much they need me to teach. All the wazungu here agree with me but also do feel like it is now time to take it up with the second master. I will go in tomorrow and tell him the deal.It is just sad that he will most likely resort to hitting them. But 3 weeks is too long and they have a test next week that I dont want them to fail. Form IA will rock it no doubt.

So Kissa and Bitwale have moved. It was a really sad day for me. I showered then with crayons, a water color set, and a puzzle (thanks to all who sent me these goodies). Kissa the day before she left was walking around in her hot pink shirt with what looked like a headscarf. No, it was a black plastic bag. How cute was she. I will never lose that picture in my memory. She got real quiet at one point just staring at me and her eyes got all classy. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. She just stayed quiet nd upset. Maybe it sunk in that the next day we would part. Or maybe something got in her eye.Regardless, I cried in my house and was sad to lose my best little buddies. I watched one last batch of videos with them, took pictures, and hugged them and said my farewell to Kissa and Bitwale.I will make it a point to visit them in Mbeya before I leave. I also have a plan to be their guardian angel and take care of them for life Inshallah (Lord-willing).

So I got back to my site and ran home to hear "Vicki, Vicki, Vicki"...being chanted by my two little babies Bitwale and Kissa. They were back! My heart jumped for joy and I ran and hugged them. I was sad to hear that they were not staying and that their father had been given a transfer to Mbeya (closer to his relatives). They were only going to be back for a few weeks packing their things before they had to move. At least I had this time to say a proper goodbye and shower them with crayons, watercolors, a puzzle set, and gum. They had a new housegirl because Esther had moved after the mamma died. Sad. Mila, my dog, jumped for joy and attacked me. It was a happy reunion. Since I arrived at school two day after planned, I figured I missed classes or what have you...No fears. School classes had not begun and the students were simply "cleaning" and making bricks. I quicky visited my nuns and visited the MP's wife's house to say goodbye to her daughter. Then I returned home for my first chill night back and relished being back home but sad that the parties and good friends were over. The next day I hit my school only to find that classes were still not in session..geez. Making bricks.I was rather um annoyed because I wanted to get my classes going. I sat in my ofice, day-dreamed and wrote a scheme of work for Form I. I then visted the nuns and Sister Judy (my fave and grown-up BFF in the village) then invited me to come back to her village Madaba that weekend to welcome her brother home who had been studying to be a priest in the Philippines. So I of course said yes and planned the trip. That night and the night after I watched videos with Kiss and Bitwale. They fed me and danced for me. It was all so different though. No more momma. The father is the one whom you can tell is the most affected. The kids simply play, but he is quiet. I can tell that he fees like a stranger in Namabengo.He no longer works at the school and is getting ready to leave. Poor man. I drive myself crazy wondering what he is feeling. I manage to teach one period of class that week. Not enough time to finish this journal, but will ongeza more in two weeks. Be back in two Saturdays just for the night. Feel free to call, email, or write me a letter teling me HOW YOU ARE FEELING.Let me in dammit. I may be far away, but I still want to know if you are upset, happy, etc and why.

Here is a speech delivered by Idi Amin the former President of Uganda

at a sumptuous luncheon hosted by Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain

" My majesty Mr Queen Sir, horrible ministers and

Members of Parliament,Invented guests, ladies under genglemen, I

hereby thank you completely.......Mr Queen, Sir, and also what he has

done for my fellow

Uganda who come with me. We have really eaten very

much. And we are fed up completely, and also very thanks you to

keenly open up from all the windows; so that those plenty climates

can come to lunch."

"But before I go back to my country with a plane from

Entebe airport of London I wish to invitation you Mr Queen, to become

home to Uganda so that we can also revenge on you."

"You will eat a full cow, and also feel up your stomach and walk with

difficult because of full stomach completely. Even when you want to

rest at night, I will make sure that you sleep on top of me in the

top upstairs of my mansion completely so that you can enjoy all the

gravity of flesh air."

" But now I am sorry because I have to tell you that I

have made a short call on you only. But next time I shall make a long

call on you to last the whole moon completely."

"Thank you very much to allow me to undress you completely before

these distingushed guests ladies and genlemen, sir. Lastly but not

list, I ask the band to play our international anthem of the Republic

of Uganda and also the British International anthem."

"Your majesty sir, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and the

bottoms of all people of Uganda. With these few words I thank you,

Sir."

So Melanie and I got on our bus to Zambia from Mbeya. The bus came a few hours late so we did not make the border crossing. We ended up having to spend the night at the border. We were surrounded on our bus by well speaking Zambian students. They speak English in Zambia. I was amazed at how hilarious these kids were and I was saddened to think of how funny my own kids are but because I still cannot perfectly understand Kiswahili their humor goes over my head. I am now on a mission to kick ass in Kiswahili so I can see how funny my kids are. Mel and I noticed one Mzungu (White person) on our bus and she looked young and rather scared so we befriended here of course. She was an American student who had just finished a 3 month volunteer stint in Zambia for GreenForce. She had been travelling with her mates and had to go back to America suddenly. Her flight was leaving from Lusaka so we hung out with her. The bus we were on bought all of us dinner and b-fast and we stayed the night in a hotel. Some people did not have money and slept on the bus. The Zambian students took it upon themselves to be our escorts…bless them. The next am we set sail for the customs office. Since Mel and I had a visa waiver from the hostel we were gonna stay in Zambia, we did not get charged. The poor American student got charged up the ass. The Zambian customs were way cool, but the Tanzanian customs were pretty much aholes. I grew very defensive about how the people on the bus talked about the Tanzanians. The bus was full of Zambians, Ugandans, and Kenyans. All English speaking countries whose infrastructure is better off than Tanzania's. They all had a superior attitude and seemed to look down upon Tanzania. I realized on this trip my love for Tanzania. So we embarked on our long-ass bus ride to Lusaka. Zambia sucks to drive through. There is absolutely nothing to see. In Tanzania, you have no reason to read a book because you are always looking at something interesting whether it be a safari park, Kilimanjaro, changing landscapes or what have you. Plus, no one was selling anything it to the buses if we made a stop. In Tanzania, you have tons of momma's in brightly colored kangas selling eggs, donuts, sambusas, and spoons to the bus windows. Maybe this is a sign of Zambia doing so well that they do not need to sell such items, but I felt like it was boring as hell. Anyways, we reached Kapiri Moshi, the first rest stop after driving for bloody 8 hours, and Mel and I were amazed at this rest stop. It was straight out of the West. They had everything you could ever want and for those who know about my love for KFC, they had the next best thing. Mel and I got three pieces of chicken each and some pies which reminded me of my England days. Pies from BP by our houses at Whitenights in Reading to be exact. Pure fatty fried heaven. The meat on these kuku was massive. I mean, I have not laid eyes on so much chicken meat in the entire 9 months I was in TZ. So we finally landed in Lusaka, the metropolis of Zambia. The Zambians boasted that Lusaka is better than Dar. It was pretty massive and looked rather industrial. All life seemed to be restored to Zambia come Lusaka. Mel, Julie, and I bid our farewells and Mel and I went to ChaChaCha backpackers for our one night in Lusaka.The hostel was pretty nice and there were craploads of Americans for some reason there. I was convinced that I would not meet any Americans on this trip unless they were Peace Corps. I have to give Americans more credit. I was convinced that Americans for the most part only backpack in Europe. I was wrong. So we left the next morning for Livingstone and arrived at our backpackers hostel Fawlty Towers which seemed more like a freaking resort. Livingstone is very much like New Zealand where you can pack craploads of outdoor adventures into a short time. Mel and I washed our clothes and had some dinner at the outdoor café they had behind the hostel. I took so many hot showers on this trip. I don't think I have been this clean in my life. The next morning I had a kickass English breakfast and Mel and I tried to sort going to Botswana's Okavanta Delta. We decided that the other hostel, Jolly Boys, had more information so we went there for information. We realized that we did not have enough time to go to Botswana so we decided to jam-pack our week in Zambia. That day we hit Victoria Falls. AMAZING is all I can say. We hiked to the Boiling Point and met many a baboon chilling on the way down. It was hilarious to see a group of 40 Zambian schoolgirls make way to the Boiling Point. They were screaming the whole way down and up. Who knows when they have ever seen this much water in their life. For those of us who have seen oceans, we take for granted the sheer joy of seeing so much water. I am sure my Tanzanian kids would be screaming too. We eventually left and gulped down a milkshake and hurriedly got dressed to go on our booze cruise. We were shocked to find a crapload of American missionary families none of whom drank. Why would anyone pay money to go on a booze cruise and not drink?Go figure. Mel and I befriended the bartender and booze cruise staff who were bored out of their mind. The bartender made us an assortment of cocktails. Needless to say, Mel and I were crawling off the 2 hour boatride on the gorgeous Zambezi. We attempted to eat dinner and have conversations with people that night but to no avail. We crashed at 9am. The next day we set off on our white water rafting trip. The Zambezi was opened that week for rafting. We were unable to do the first 10 rapids since they were too dangerous. We befriended an American PC couple who had been living in Cairo working for the American school there. They had lived in Senegal and I asked them about the mayonnaise dance that Pam had taught Lisa and I. They had no clue. Our rafting guide was Zambian and reeked of booze. I figured we were gonna have a most interesting time rafting on one of the world's most known rafting rivers with this guy named Boyd. We had a treacherous walk to the river with all of our equipment minus the raft. Boyd and SchoolBoy, our guides, led us on our way. It was loads of fun and I am now determined to go rafting wherever I can. Now that I am scuba certified, I feel like I can become the outdoorsy girl that I so long to be. Anyways, whenever we had to do drills and jump out the boat, Boyd and SchoolBoy made it a point to dunk me in the water. Boyd even knocked Mel into the water on purpose. We only hit one Title IV and V rapid. We barely missed the really good one and most are in the rapids we did not do. There was an Indian British family rafting too and they truly made me laugh. Their mother was dressed in crushed velvet and I could see her being the rich momma in a Bollywood movie. We picnicked on the Zimbabwe side of the Zambezi. Since I spent most of the day looking at Zimbabwe and ate lunch there, I can say that I have been to Zimbabwe now. Go me! I slipped out the raft at a lame moment much to my chagrin. I am the only PCV who did not pack shorts, so I was wearing these waterresistant pants that kept slipping off. The Dutch guy next to me kept on helping me to hike them up. Bless him. We returned from rafting and were excited to get a meal, booze, and a complimentary picture…rock on. Mel and I then hurried back to Fawlty Towers where we quickly dressed, grabbed a complimentary drink, and tried to catch the lunar rainbow at the Falls with another American and a lovely South African. Whenever there is a lunar moon, about once a month, Vic Falls will open up at night for the public and you can see the rainbow going into the falls all glowing. It was fantastic. We got completely soaked to the bone and were the only people in the park. I have never seen anything as amazing as this. There are no words to express. Just breathtaking. After the park, Mel and I changed and met up with Boyd, SchoolBoy , and their ratfting guide buddies for drinks and dancing. I made Boyd buy all of our drinks since he was drunk being our guide. We were like their trophy Wazungu friends. They protected us from creepers and we got the eveil eye from many a beautiful Zambian woman. Did I mention how gorgeous, men and women, the Zambians are!!! The Tanzanians have nothing on these people. All of the girls had extensions, but that was not why they were beautiful. Their complexions, cheekbones, eyes…beautiful. So Mel and I were well pleased to dance the night away. Mel is a white girl who can dance might I add. We said goodbye to our friendly tourguides and went to bed. The next morning, we got up to do our lovely Micro-Lighting flight over Victoria Falls. Micro-Lighting is a small sort-of plane-hanglide where you and the pilot hang freely while you cruise over the Falls. Can I say AMAZING all over again. My pilot was a hotty German named Heko. We saw hippos (they can swim really fast) and I was amazed at how close David Livingstone had gotten to the edge of the Falls with his wooden canoe. He was a lucky SOB. I actually have pictures of this courtesy of my pilot. We rushed back to Fawlty Tow2ers and checked out, grabbed pizza, and waited to leave for Bovu Island. Bovu Island was the next best thing to Okavanta Delta. An island where it is completely peaceful and all you do is rest. You can opt to do activities as well. Mel and I had to get in a dugout canoe (makolo) to reach the island. We were looking forward to finally resting on our so-called vacation. The island was full of little wooden bandas and had a bar and library with heaps of cushions to lye on. We were 2 of 4 people on the island. The bartender was a British dude who got offred free lodging and meals to watch the bar for two days. The other guy was a Frenchman working for Doctors Without Borders in the Congo. Apparently he came to the island all out of the shape and the island helped restore him to sane status. Mel and I opted to stay in a tent and cook our own meals. The showers were to die for. Hot and all made out of bamboo with the birds chirping above you. There were trails all around the island and if you were lucky you might spot a crocodile or hippo. We were not so lucky. You could also take your pick of hammocks. The bar was great because you could help yourself and choose music out of its stellar collection. Beware of hippos at night they said. We made pasta, pb and banana, and cheese and potato chip sandwhiches…I was in heaven. I went fishing for the first time in 16 years. The last time I went was at Old Lyme and Amy and I only succeeded in getting our hooks caught in the trees rather than in the fish. Tiger Fish were the fish of the Zambezi and I struck out. But it was fun all in all. We had random village children cheering me on to catch a fish. Afterwards we went on a sunset cruise in our makolo. Gorgeous. We were again looking at Zimbabwe. That night we chilled, ate, drank and bid adieu. Figures when I am camping do I need to pee at night. Both nights camping out I had to bust open the tent to take a leak. The day we were leaving, Mel and I had a drumming lesson and went to look for crocs. No luck.. Oh well, I strongly suggest Bovu Island for anyone. We then left the island and checked in on July 4th for our last night in Zambia. Jolly Boys was going on a booze cruise and said it was going to be a guaranteed good time so Mel and I could not resist. I mean it was July 4th!! We chilled by the pool and then got onour booze cruise. I will add in that there were no American missionary families on this cruise. We boozed it up, talked with lots of people and hung out with a bunch of cheeky Zambian momma's. I found it hysterical that they all were married to Wazungu men. One woman was in fact SchoolBoy's momma!!! I met a lovely RPCV from Cameroon named Darren who was getting his master's at the University of Arizona. He hates being back in America and could not wait to come to Africa again to travel. We also met Big Brother Africa's Winner who was from Zambia. She was gorgeous. The bartender of course hooked Mel and I up with "Jungle Juice". Uunfortunatley, I tossed my cookies onto my plastic sandals (malapas) as we were docking. I had to leave my malapas on the boat. The entire Jolly Boy crew hit the beach and watched Zambian cultural dance. Mel had to hold me back because I wanted to dance with the locals or drum with them. After they were done, the Jolly Boy crew took over the stage and drums and partied hearty. We eventually went back to Jolly Boys where we continued our party and I alone cheered Greece on to victory for the Euro Cup. The next day we set embarked for Lusaka and then Dar and rode the bus for ever and ever. We eventually made it to Dar a day later. I had to be in Dar for my VAC meeting. Mel left for Zanzibar and I spent the day chilling with Dan. More people from my training group were leaving Tanzania. I bid farewell to Stacey, Mitch and Nate. More are talking about leaving which makes me so sad!!!! The VAC meeting was good and we met with the country director and gave her our piece of mind. I met Heidi, her rents, and friend Jenny. We all played pool that night and hit the casinos. I broke even but got free drinks and a free grilled cheese out of it.More VAC meeting and dinner at someone's house. Saw Spiderman, went dancing where I saw so many ugly Indians and Beyonce wanna-be hookers, hit the beach, and ate some good Indian food. Good times, good times…I like being in Dar legally for VAC. I finally left for Songea where I was serenaded by a 3 year old on the bus. He belted out in the dark "Mungu Ibariki Africa"(Like the Star Spangled Banner but not).

Now back to Namabengo. Back to the grind.

So chilling in Mbeya right now waiting to take bus tomorrow into Zambia. I finished teaching my Form II's on Friday. Herad good news from my landscaping baba whose girls I am helping. He told me that my babies are coming back. I nearly cried with joy hearing those words, but I won't believe it until I see them. Their mother had severe asthma and low blood pressure so her lungs had just collapsed. That was as much as an explanation I got from the teachers and baba. Got some other great news...I am the newest member of PC TZ's Volunteer Advocacy Committee (VAC). My region picked me. I am really psyched about being the rep for our region. This also means that we will have meetings about 4 times a year in Dar and Dan has also been selected to be a rep for his region so I will get to see one of my best buddies LEGALlY 4 times a year. The VAC meets with the PC TZ bigwigs and have numerous discussions. I am really excited. I also just finished a grant for a girls' empowerment and HIV/AIDS seminar at my school. It will be like "Take your Daughters to Work Day" but actually "Take your Work to Your daughters"...if approved, my fellow staff and I will try to bring successful TZ women to my school and have them talk with my girls. My counterpart and I will also train our fellow teachers on how to run HIV/AIDS Life Skills workshops and have them facilitate these workshops the day of the seminar. The local mamma's group will sing and dance, we will eat, and then an athletics tournament. I really work I get the grant. It will be really good my school.

Left Songea this am and sat next to the oldest man in the world..bless him. We were essentially spooning since he took all the space. He had and old man smell and could only move an inch per hour. Bless him. I tried to chat him up but he was too exhausted. Oh well.

Off to my Falls tomorrow. Hopefully I can change TZ shillings at the border or I am screwed. Mel, my VSO buddy, and I want to microlight over the falls and do a booze cruise at the Okavanta Delta in Botswana. I have to be in Dar from July 7th-10th so I will accessible via phone from July 7th-12th. I have to teach that following Monday in Namabengo.

That is all for now. Heard about two more friends getting married so I am officially missing 13 weddings and 3 babies. Geez.

Love to all.

Besos,

v

Mtwara continued

So Mtwara…so Heidi pumped me full of no bake cheesecake, booze, and packaged noodle meals and I was in seventh heaven. We took a trip to Lindi to visit Mitch and Sean and we had a grand old time.We managed to score a ride with some South African expats who were on their way to Zanzibar. They took us to breakfast and paid for us. Then they boarded a plane to Dar and their driver took us all the way back to Lindi. Sweet. Only an hour and a half. Sweet. Lindi was pretty kickass. Some of Heidi's British beekeeper friends met up with us in Lindi as well as Andy Long, another PCV in the area. Mitch and Sean live in massive houses. Somehow Sean was able to get his school to refurbish his house to the max. He has a wire fence all around the house. Really safi sana. He has a dog named Hilton who has his own room to crap in. Gross. Mitch has two dogs named Cope n Hagen but they suddenly died and he is convinced someone poisoned them. Mitch has a habit of making enemies. Mitch has lots of time on his hands so he makes craploads of mango wine. We drank our full of it as well as the beekeepers homemade brew of honey beer and then set sail for dinner. Lindi has this fabulous bus stand that at night turns into this food fest. I bought baby lobsters and fresh fish while everyone else got chipsi mayai (eggs, and potatoes). My seafood kicked arss. Then we went to Santorini which is a beach that has tables set along the water and you just drink your hearts content. Heidi and I came fully prepared and had our bathing suits and spent the rest of the night drinking beers while swimming in the ocean. I was convinced I saw phosphorescence. But she claims I was wrong. Mitch's wanker German expat Doctor friend came to join us, but since he was a wanker I stayed in the water. The boys came in and out of the water throughout the night and we eventually we ended up looking like beached whales when the tide was low. We finally left and tried to argue (or Mitch argued) with the taxi drivers about getting all seven of us into one taxi. The taxi driver even said 2, 000 and Mitch argued and told him "NO 4, 000"…drunken Mitch. So we caught a lifty instead from one of Mitch's neighbors. We were all running and we had to jump in the pickup and one of the beekeepers managed to jump in and bounce out of the pickup. I laughed hysterically needless to say. We went back, chatted some more and slept. All in all a pleasant time in Lindi. Then Heidi, Andy, and I headed back to Mtwara on public transport. We had yet again another hideous bus ride, standing most of the way for many an hour. That night Heidi invited her Babu over and we cooked and ate our hearts content. Andy donned the Easter bunny ears and kept me entertained. The next day we futzed around, bought a turkey for Thanksgiving, and chilled at the beach. We then came back to Heidi's house to find three more arrivals of PCV's from Singida. We cooked, ate, and drank and laughed tons. We cooked a garlic herb turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry, beignets, and pumpkin roll with cream cheez frosting (the kind that Natalie's dad used to make when she had b-day parties). I was in charge of the turkey of course and it was succulent as well. Too bad I forgot that I was rubbing Garlic Salt and not just Garlic herbs into the bird. The Bird was damn succulent but damn salty. Oh well. Heidi's neighbors stopped by as we cooked and made puzzles. At one point I wrapped Jimmy's head in white butcher paper and made him look like a giant jeanie/Osama Bin Laden while Andy wore the bunny ears. Bless these boys, they do anything we ask. Then Denise and Rich finally arrived that Easter night from their hideous 3 day trip on bus to Mtwara. We ate, laughed and I said my farewells that night since I was gonna be heading to Dar the next day to see Alicia. The next morning I embarked on my 14 hour journey to Dar. It was a hideous bus ride. The big guy next to me was basically pressing me against the window. My head hit the window so hard. It was a pain.

Dar es Salaam

Finally in Dar, I attempted to find a taxi to take me to the American Club to see Alicia. The taxi driver had no clue and ended up taking me to the US Embassy. The security guard was checking all underneath the car and all for bombs and took my name to report somewhere. Great here I was travelling illegally for two weeks and I finally get busted by this. Luckily nothing happened and we stopped at every embassy to inquire how to get to the American Club. Finally I reached when everyone was leaving. I went back and stayed with Alicia at the PCVL (PC Volunteer Leaders) House. They were harbouring me illegally.The next day we futzed around Dar and eventually just made it back to the American Club to eat brownie sundaes, cheeseburgers, watch movies, and swim.That place is amazing. We meant to go see eth Passion of Christ but never made it. Oh well. Someday, someday. Heidi and the rest of the Mtwara crew headed back to Dar but their bus took 48 hours!! Then they got busted in Dar by PC and are all on probation. Next strike for travelling illegally and they go home.

Songea

I then made way to Songea the next day and headed straight to Babu John's. They had food all waiting for me and we chatted. John had had enough of my dog Mila and said he could not stay there again. Oh well. Such is life. We then made way to Namabengo. It was pretty funny considering that our dala dala was packed to the max and the police officer from our village (who resembles Baloo from jungle book/tail spin) knocked out the window with his arss. Nice.

Back home in Namabengo

The next day was our staff meeting and I was horrified to learn that none of the Form II's from last year failed in Biology. Clearly, Mr Benjamin is a good teacher and they do not need me as a teacher at the school. I felt all out of sorts and felt like I had big shoes to fill. I am almost certain I will have some kids fail in Biology this year. So thus began me feeling like "Why Am I here"?? I then spent 4 weeks straight at my site. Melanie, VSO from Songea, and Agnes, a girl from Minnesota doing a 3 month work stint at a TZ dentist's office, came to visit me one weekend. It was nice. We cooked, ate, went hiking, and chilled. I Was also Teacher On Duty (TOD) for one week. The TOD is responsible for everything for that week. Roll call, enough food for students, discipline, medical, etc…it was a stressful week but I enjoyed being IN CHARGE. The students know that I do not know most of their names or faces so I am sure they took advantage of that. I did reversal of work roles and made the boys fetch water and mop the floors and let the girls cut the wood and grass. This was pretty funny. Needless to say I had to switch it back to normal for the water and wood. The girls were just too slow and they need lots of food for the kitchen or the kids were not gonna be able to eat. I could not live with that burden. A new teacher, Mr. Micao helped me a lot which was really nice.One week I let the girls braid my hair and let them look at all of my pictures. I told them they could not take any but lo and behold somehow took this fabulous picture of Amy and I (the first picture in my book). I was livid and the girls braiding my hair helped me track down the culprit. The girl denied it and I realized she was hiding it in her wrap around skirt.I quickly yanked off her skirt and one of my students and her got into a fight. It was pretty crazy and ME the teacher just watched. I got my pictures back and walked out. I could not believe what had just happened. During these 4 long weeks I went through so many emotions…Am I needed here? Do they only see me as money? What kind of difference am I making?So then my two closest groups of friends (the sisters and the daughter of Mamma Fat)all asked me for money. The daughter of Mamma Fat asked me for money so she could go on vacation. The nerve. I went about answering her in a round about way. The nuns really needed the money and how could I deny them when all they do is take care of me and pump me full of maandazi and give me rocks to scrub my feet. Then the man whose two daughters I pay to go to school told me I needed to pay last years bill that he failed to pay. I told him no. Last Year was not part of the plan. Then the headmaster and I were talking and he was bringing up all of the things the school needed and I asked how he thought he was gonna get all the money to do these things and he of course looked at me and said "I KNOW SOMEHOW SOMEONE WILL HELP TO GIVE US THE MONEY"…So you can see why I was wondering if I am just the mzungu with money to the people in my village. I started to feel if only I lived in a straw hut in the Samoan islands then I would be more of a "True Volunteer".So then I went to Songea for a weekend after a long 4 weeks. Still no email. Spent the night at Melanie's one night and cooked a big meal for the other volunteers in the area. Mark, PCV, finally said "You know even if you lived in a straw hut, you would still be the rich Mzungu"…so those words helped me. He said he was gonna everything he had to help his students perform well on their national exam. At the end of the day, he did give up his family and friends in America so we are by no means "living a cushy life" here. Talking it out was good. Neil and Caroline and I started to talk about "Fame" and Leroy and I thought about my sisters and I were so obsessed with Fame. The next day I headed back to Namabengo and began my two week countdown until In Service Training and my two week holiday. That Sunday, May 16th is the International AIDS Candlelight Vigil. My health club and I had organized an event. We had ukimwi (AIDS) buttons made for everyone and signs all around the school. My students put on plays, sang songs, did dances, etc. One of the teachers gave a speech, and I had given every student a candle to light. We then had a moment of silence and did a candlelight march around the school grounds. It was truly amazing. All the male teachers came out to support me. They all thanked me for bringing this special day to everyone's attention. It was really special. On May 16th, 2004, I finally felt like I gave something back. The next day I helped my students finish the ghetto volleyball net we had been working on and thus volleyball has become the new loved sport at my school amongst the students and teachers. This too helped me feel good. I even taught my littler baby next door Bitware how to play. I get a little competive with volleyball and have to tell myself "Vicki, just let them have fun…chill out". Our school football and netball teams took a trip to our headmasters old school to play some matches.The school had scrounged the money to have a dala dala and an open backed pick up haul about 60 of us to Nahimba. It was pure chaos to watch the pick up. The kids were all scrambling inside and it was overflowing. The truck attempted to drive and it looked like it was gonna tip over much to my horror. We finally kicked out some kids. I was the DJ in the dala dala and played Mr Nice for my kids. Good times. So net ball is like basketball but no dribbling. Our girls totally kicked Nahimba's ass. Every time there was a goal the kids all stormed the court. A beautiful site. A tradition that America should take up…way cooler than cheerleaders. Our boys not so well. The best was when each school had "March Offs" and the kids from each school would circle the field singing, doing bootay dances, and eating large stalks of sugar cane. Have you ever eaten fresh sugar cane. It is so yummy and refreshing. The teachers got some chicken (kuku) and ugali for dinner and we made the long trek back to school. Anna, my fellow single female teacher, and I made plans to check out the Namabengo village disco that Sunday. We never made it, but someday, someday I will go.

I stumbled upon a lovely village family that was good friends with Tom, the PCV oobervolunteer who lived in Namabengo before. They were really great and tried to teach me the art of eating sugar cane no knife. I promised to visit them every night, but have not yet.School was winding down and I trucked on with my participatory methods of teaching. One day I was teaching my Form II's about Food preservation and passed around a jar of jam. I saw them all sticking their fingers in it. Poor kids they would do anything for sugar. I finally had enough when I saw my 4 foot tall Health Club President stick his pen in my jar. I took the jar and asked him "Do you like jam" and he said "Yeah' so I proceeded to put the jam into a paper and then smear it all over his little head and hair. It was pretty funny and he is a buddy of mine so he did not get upset. If I tried that in America I would have been sued. That is the beauty of teaching in the third world. You have full reign. I then was teaching my Form III's about substance abuse. I wrote various scenarios for them and one was how a kids mom gave him money to buy vegetables to eat and how he used the money to buy cigarettes instead. When he started to suffer from Night Blindness since he had no Vitamin A in his diet his mother then realized that he was not using the money to buy vegetables. She stopped giving him money. He then was addicted to cigarettes and stole money from his friends. His friends then caught him and beat him to death. By the way when some is a thief, they beat them to death in this country. So yeah, my students had fun with performing a skit to that scenario.These are the Vicki teaching methods. Say what you want about them, but it was a realistic scenario although it sounds rather far fetched to the Western eye.

Did I mention that I have become a sex ed teacher in Kiswahili. Pretty ironic to say the least. My health club is full of questions and I explain to them how both guys and girls can masturbate and what have you. They inform me that 2/3 of our students are having sex. Geez. They did a school wide pregnancy test and one girl was pregnant. She went and had an abortion and came back. But abortion is illegal and they let her back. Yet they will kick someone out for good who keeps the baby. The boys get off scot free while the girl who busted her arss for 4 years and is about to take the national exam gets pregnant and is not able to take the exam and 4 years go down the drain.I don't know. This system is confusing and sad. We Westerners really do have the world in our hands and don't appreciate it or know it. These kids might sell their bodies so they can finish school only to get pregnant and never have another chance. Scholarships?Loans? Family members who can help? These factors do not play into their lives. Their parents are farmers and only have enough for their family to eat.What do they do?How do I play into their lives?? To be the rich Mzungu with a dog who eats better than most of the humans in my village. Wow.

One day my counterpart walked into my health club meeting and told me that I needed to take the kids to Kilimanjaro. I went off on him later and asked him where he thought I was gonna pull that money from "My arss"?. He knew had no business and apologized. He got the kids all excited about a trip so I think I might make a trip to a safari park with them. Have to figure out the funds to do this though. I might need some help from you all in that case.

My dog continues to be precious and well loved by all especially my little babies next door. I love my kids. They wash my clothes, ask me for candy, look at my pictures a million times, and make biological field trips to the river for me to gather specimens (freakin elodea is not easy to find).

I continue to be close with the nuns and relish my friendship with them. They are like sisters to me. I am so thankful to have them. My teachers are all in all pretty cool and quite humorous when I can understand them. I have been over to several houses for dinner but have yet to have someone over since my house is always a mess.

My students are pretty awesome and truly angels. Poor kids…English. Why!!!! DAY BY DAY. They know me really well and even know things I am gonna say before I say them. I think my class for them is really just play time and I am okay with that. I truly have to master Biology more. Anyone have Biology for dummies?? Send it my way. I do think teaching is my calling, but I really need mastery of the subject. But they say that if you can teach something then you really know it. So I guess I know it.

So these poor kids and their food. They eat ugali (stiff porridge) and means. No oil or anything else is added but water. One day I ate with them and ate their food and realized how crap their food really is.I then saw a girl with a bag of sugar and asked her what she was gonna do with that sugar. She then stuck her face in it and ate the sugar plain. Poor kids they would do anything for flavor. No wonder they ate my jam, They eat pure shiot.. The food they make us teachers is with oil and onion and more quality ugali.I dig the food they give us.

So I tried to introduce movie night to my kids and was gonna watch some Health videos, but none of them worked. So we resorted to watching cartoons and a really racey Biblical version of "Samson and Delilah"..Arlington would have had a fit!

So the Wednesday before the weekend I was gonna head out to IST, Charles, pcv, showed up at my house late at night. I immediately asked "What happened with my family?". He told me that my family that been trying to get hold of me for a long time and could not. They then contacted Peace Corps headquarters in DC and then DC contacted TZ. PC TZ then harassed Charles to come and find me since I cannot be reached in Namabengo. I of course wondered what could have happened for this to be so urgent. I immediately thought horrible thoughts about what could have happened to mom and had a horrible many hours until I could head to Songea to make the call. I taught my classes that day and left Namabengo packed in case I was not returning for a long time. I said my goodbyes and gave my students a cryptic answer as to where I am going. All I could say was "I don't know". I then headed to Songea and called India. I talked with mom and all was fine. I swear, it was pure agony up until that point. Mom and my sisters simply wanted to talk with me. Geez. Don’t ever do that to me again!!!!

So that night I went to dinner with Melanie and stayed at Babu's. The next day just chilled and spent the night at Melanie's and had a girl night. We did face and foot masks, painted our nails, etc. Really nice. I wanted to groom myself since I was about to see all my PC crew in Morogoro for IST and then a wedding in Zanzibar. The next morning we made sausage, banana fritters, and French toast. That night at Babu's we made shepherd's pie, homemade custard trifle, and peanut butter fudge oatmeal cookies…I swear all I eat is ugali and beans in my village and then come to Songea and eat like a queen!!Tough Life I know. Babu's houseboys cleaned my clothes and shoes for me…bless them. Then the next am, one of his houseboys walked me all the way to the bus stop and I headed on a 10 hour trip to Morogorro.

IST

I stayed with Avi and met up with some PC people for beers and food. The next morning we made gorgeous breakfast burritos with chapattis, cheese from Njombe, Sausage from Songea, and what have you. Amarula and Kahlua in our Nescafe instant coffee…freaking posh. That night we met wit hall of our PC crew for IST. We were all staying in the Tanesco (Electricity utility company) compound for a week. They had a dining hall with kickass food, tennis, volleyball, and basketball courts, a track, a bar, and a roof for us to have infamous parties. That night we had Peace Corps prom. All the people were supposed to be wearing 80's and gaudy gear. The boys looked tacky and the girls looked good. I looked like "Elvira/Mrs. Munster/Mrs. Adams" in a lacey, black plunged neck number cut short of course. It was great to see everyone and dance, eat, and laugh, Dan, Dave, and I were reunited but not really the same since Dave is now dating Lauren and dating always changes friendships with other people. We had a bus bring us back to Tanesco and Me and a few PC's headed to the roof to continue the party. The girls were all cold so Rich opened up his backpack and gave out all of his clothes. Pete eventually took the shirt off his back and gave I to someone. I had nothing so Pete gave me his pants. I of course put them on and walked back to my room to sleep. Anyone else who came to the roof that night found poor Pete in his boxers. Bless him. The next day we began all of our PC sessions. Blah, blah. Afterwards we all hit the athletic fields and attempted to do sporty things. At night we would do dinner and then hit the roof. Peter started to bring crates of beer to the roof and we had fun times laughing and talking. I had taught Andy and Heidi the R-MWC "Beaver Song" back in Mtwara and now it has become our PC "Theme Song". Nice. Throughout the night Andy would just scream out "Beaver 1, Beaver 2". We had stimulating conversations about if Altoids do really work and about shiotting in general. I thought going to a woman's college we talked about crap a lot, but it no way compares to the PC. We have a new take on it with pit choos and all. Finally since we dropped several bottles from the roof, we decided to abstain from large parties on the roof. I was in such a state after not getting a whole lot of sleep and with my liver swimming in Konyagi that I did some stupid things 1) Alicia and I were "Pssss" some of my friends to get their attention and did not notice the Tanzanian standing there. He thought we were "Psssing" him. A few minutes later he came to our room pounding on our door wanting to talk with us. Yikes!! I finally shewed him away telling him that I had been Pssss the white people not him. 2) We have two African Americans in our crew, Sean and Charles. One morning, I was walking to the bathroom and saw a black male and waved. I thought it was Sean. He waved back and I asked Sean". He shook his head no and I was in such a state that I screamed, wrapped my hands around my eyes,and ran away. I know I am a freak dog. 3) One day after leaving the toilet, I went into my room and started to undress. I shut the curtains and tried to open my closet door. The door was locked. I was so angry. Did the maids lock my closet door. I started to pull on it and nearly broke the door. I then tried to use my key and opened to the closet to only find Heidi's 12 kg box of goodies that she dragged to Morogorro for all of us to eat. I started to laugh because I realized that I was in the wrong room. Heidi's hears my chuckle from outside and is wondering what I am doing in her room. She finds me in her room partially undressed. How funny.Those were my moments of deliriousness.

The final night in Morogorro, we all watched a slide show Avi made of our last 9 months in country (illegal travel and all). Afterwards, we all headed to where we had PC Prom and had pizza or in my case a bottle of Konyagi. Dan, Jimmy and I all had one bottle each of Konyagi and were hysterical. The whole crew was hysterical. The place Dragonairre's had karaoke but only the Beegee's and Abba. Andy sang "Dancing Queen" and managed to incorporate

Beaver 1.." into it. We were all a site. Good times, good times. All in all, IST was a blast but a weird time too. We all had 3 months to get used to each other back in Arusha and now we only had 1 week to do it all over again. Relationships have changed, people have changed, blah, blah. Some people who were lonely at their sites came to IST expecting to find all the answers. Some did and some didn't. Some might be going home. Glory came back. She was med-evaced to America after watching her students and teachers beat a thief to death. This was quite traumatic and she went home and is now back at a new school and stronger than before. I am glad to have her back. Alicia is at a new site in Tang and I think she will be happier there. She misses our Songea crew though. But it was good to talk and know that everyone else is going through what you are going through. We all feel like people want money. Andy put it best when he said "What would you do if a bunch of rich aliens invaded your country" I would say "Nipe (give me) Flying Saucer" ….that was the most profound thing I heard. That statement has given me a new perspective on life here.

Dar

The next day most of us embarked on a journey to Dar Es Salaam. Ryan and Joe had to go back to Mwanza. We ate lunch at Subway and said our goodbyes which was sad. Since I am not gonna be at Mid Service Conference because I will be in the USA, I will not see them probably until we are done in a year and a half. I will try to make a trip before to see them. After Subway hit the American Club and talked and laughed. Then saw Starsky and Hutch at the movie theatre. The Theater in Dar is nicer than most American movie theatres. The next day looked for French pastries for b-fats to no avail and went to a South African fast food chain place called "Steers"…bizarre. I ordered a latte and eggs.

Zanzibar bound

Then our scuba diving Zanzibar bound crew set said on a five hour slow boat to gorgeous Zanzibar. John and Emily, two of our PCV's, fell in love and were getting married in Zanzibar, Peace Corps Wedding!!!! None of us wanted to miss the joining of these two especially since we all saw them fall in love. So we had two groups of scuba divers, different companies. Charlie and Meredith, PCV's who live on Zbar, were our lovely guides and took us to their places. My scuba crew stayed with Charlie at his house along with 4 other people. That night we went to the gardens which was like the Bus stand in Lindi w millions more kinds of seafood. I ate barracuda, conch, lobster…Drank some sugar cane and lime juice. Nectar of the Gods. The next morning Charlie was so sweet to make us all pancakes. We then headed out for our first scuba lesson. Still exhausted from the week before, we were pretty sluggish. We grabbed Chinese for lunch and swam in the pool with all of our equipment. I think the instructor thought I was eth weakest link since I had a hard time snot rocketing the water out of my goggles. Sufi was our instructor and a lovely Zanzibari at that. He finally switched my goggles to a smaller size and I never had a problem again. That night we all met up at Meredith's house to cook dinner. She had to grab more people from the port so everyone but Dan, Denise, and I went to Charlie's to chill. Us three went to the beach at Meredith's and watched the sun go down. Amazing. Some old dude started to play the harmonica for us. Some more of our crew showed up and we tried to wade through high tide to make it back to Meredith's. It was rather creepy, walking in the dark, with warm water up to our thighs, but yet with bits of phosphorescence in it. I held on to Dan the whole time. Bless him. More people had invaded Meredith's house and we ate fresh fish and what have you. The crew for Charlie's house headed back and we hit the sack since the next day was gonna be tiring as well. We had to take quizzes, watch videos, and go into the pool again. Denise was feeling really ill and couldn't dive anymore.I still felt like the weakest link in our crew. Oh Well. That night was the Boys Bachelor Party and the Girls Night Out (Without the Bride since she had family responsibilities). I went home with Denise to change. I too felt really ill. I left Denise and met the girls at Mercury's for dinner (named after Freddie Mercury who was born in Zanzibar. According to Sandy, he is Iranian). I could not eat a thing but enjoyed our girly conversation of top 5 lists in our PC crew. The Boys meanwhile had played video games all day, followed, by dinner and drinks. We were all going to meet up at the end of the night at a place we had to ourselves.The girls were all exhausted and did a bar crawl only not to drink at any. We hit the Sweet Easy which is like a major Wazungu tourist hangout. We scrubby PC people all wondered how these tourist backpackers could look so damn good!When I was a backpacker I never looked that good. We ended up at the Dharma Lounge and awaited our guys and the groom to arrive. Suddenly with the arrival of the boys, we all started to drink and had a merry time. Since I was diving, I could not have to much. Zanzibar is a really awesome place. The little streets are filled with vendors selling batiks and all, little streets like Spain, gorgeous people, scenic views, lovely music, awesome beaches, plenty of things to do…I highly recommend Zanzibar. I cannot believe PC put me in a country where paradise is so easily accessible.So then the next we all set sail, but Denise, to do our ocean diving. Really nervous but really excited. Matt ended up not being able to pressurize and bleeding from his nose. Alicia had a hard time too and nearly cried. I was the only one who was okay and somehow was no longer the weakest link but like me being the Billy Goat in Skye and Old Rag, I became a fish in the water. Too bad I had a hard time with buoyancy and kept on crashing into the beautiful aquatic life when I was adjusting my mask or looking for my scuba buddy. We were based on a gorgeous boat with a rooftop deck and we relished every moment. I saw so many little creatures and was seriously reminded of Finding Nemo.Afterwards we headed back to Zanzibar and take our exams and all. We then hired out a dala dala to take us all the way to Matemwe for the wedding festivities to begin. Matemwe was amazing and set off far away from the touristy part of Zanzibar. Emily's parents were able to come over and paid for all of us to eat all meals (50 total) and half of us to stay at the bungalows there while the remaining crew stayed at beach houses further away. Absolutely amazing.

Wedding craziness…Tanzanian style

The opening ceremonies started with John carrying a pack of goats to the door of Emily's parents room with all of us following carrying torches and lanterns. Emily's Dad opened the door in a Massai outfit and John offered him the goats for one of his daughters hand in marriage. So the dad brought out everyone but Emily and John declined. Finally the dad brought out Emily and John said "That is the one, that is the one I want to be with". The dad then said "But she is worth a cow and goats". So John surprised him with an actual cow as a gift from the villagers. We all chanted in the darkness "Ngombe, ngombe, ngombe " (cow, cow, cow). John and Dad signed receipts for this business transaction and we all cheered. How great! We then ate like fiends and headed to the beach for a 90210 like bon-fire. The place had a huge pit and surrounding it were rope long chairs arranged in a circle. Emily's mom had brought all the fixins for smores and there was an open bar so we were in 7th heaven. Good times, good times. That day Emily's sister had thrown her a shower and a Zanzibari woman had hdone henna/mehndi for all the girls and taught them a dance. They did toilet paper bride and ran into the ocean afterwards to rinse away the toilet paper.Slept like a babay that night. The next am it was just Alicia and I heading to diving since everyone else was sick in our group. It started to drizzle, which does not happened and the waves were very rocky. Our first dive was a disaster. I finally got a hang of the buoyancy thing and eth instructor let all the air our of my jacket when I was not ready. I went crashing down upon some Fire Coral or "Stinging Sea Fern". My leg was on fire for the rest of the day. I still have scars. Alicia could not pressurize and cried in pain. The Swedish girl got motion sickness. A disaster. Our last dive into a sunken ship rocked out and we had a blast. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. The Danish guy's meter was incorrect and he ran out of air so we had to do an emergency ascent and we set back. We are now PADI certified. Boy was I tired.Alicia and I were biting our nails hoping that we would make it back to Matemwe in time for the wedding. We got there in time but no time to change. We wore our bathing suits and kangas to PC Wedding while everyone else looked safi in flowing dresses and what have you. They had the whole village on one side playing the drums. Then cushions for seats set on each side of the banana leaf archway. Charlie, the best man, was wearing a Punjabi. John rode in on a donkey and waited. Then we saw Emily being carried like a Goddess on a board by 4 Zanzibari men and with women chanting behind tossing flowers.She looked amazing with little shells in her hair. The men set the board down and Emily walked down the aisle and her and John were joined. It was so beautiful.Hard to say, but the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen in my life. She also had a massive henna tattoo on her back and hands which looked great. We all joined them in a champagne toast and I ended up almost choking on a sambusa (samosa). Sean nearly did the Heimlich on me and I stopped him.I felt so bad. I had to walk away and make myself vomit in order to breathe properly. Charlie, the best man, came over and took care of me. Bless him.He had enough stuff to worry about. Then some people brought me water as Charlie tried to brush my hair back. Then a coconut fell out of a tree and almost killed me. I am really cool 1)Stinging sea fern, 2)Sambusa, 3)Coconut. I was okay and went back to my room to change. Heidi then runs up to my room with her face all flustered. Since she is the snackmaster she had gobbled up some special brownies that the boys in the houses had made unaware that they were special. They thought she knew. So needless to say Heidi kept me entertained the whole wedding night with her giggles and rosy face.We all hit the wedding dinner frenzy and ate, then danced. The band was like a Tanzanian Polka-Band. For real. They even played "How much is that Doggy in the Window"…I barked of course. Open bar, dancing, laughing, picking up Kurt and Marigny and putting them on shoulders since it was their birthday, good times. During the bands break we managed to put good music in and Heidi played all of my songs for me "Living on a Prayer","Every Little Thing She Does is Magic", "Devil Goes Down to Georgia","Brown Eyed Girl". At one point we were shooting water guns, tossing water bottles around like it was Spring Break Daytona…craziness. It was a gorgeous night. Emily and John said their farewell and we well continued to party on the beach and what have you. The next day we all had a lovely breakfast and received the softest rolls of toilet tissue as our parting gifts. Awesome.

Back to Dar

I then headed back on the seriously bumpy fast boat to Dar with many others. Even my stomach of steel was having a hard time. Poor Glory puked her brains out and I held her head back and chucked the puke bag into the Indian Ocean.That night we had dinner, played pool and retired. We had three girls in our room when it was only a double. The night watchman knew and came to tell us we were in trouble. I hid in the closet. We then called over to Kurt, Kevin, and Andy's to see if we could go there instead. They said no because they had a drunken mad man outside their door who might attack anyone who came. The hotel threatened to call the police if we did not get another room. So I did and left at the buttcrack of dawn for Songea the next am.

Back in Songea

Mel and John had pancakes and beer waiting for me when I came back. The next day I chilled here and met a woman in town told me that my neighbor died two days before. I did not believe here and assumed she meant the mother of my neighbor.

Sadness in Namabengo

I came home that night to find my neighbors house empty. The student who was living in my house when I was away informed me that my neighbor Mamma Mwakalago, the mother of my babies and friend of mine, had died because her lungs collapsed. I lost my shiot and could not believe it. I was so gutted and felt so alone. My babies were not coming back either. They are gonna stay with their grandparents while their father returns to Namabengo. I think they should come with him and I can help take care of them with their house girl. She did all the work anyways. I would do anything to see those babies again. I now know what motherly love is like. So now I have spent one lonesome week in Namabengo wishing I could hear my babies voices again. My dog Mila became independent when I was away for two weeks and now roams everywhere and sometimes I find him in the girls hostel.

School ended the first week in June when I was at IST. Then Form II and Form IV’s had to stay an extra 3 weeks for extra teaching. So now I ma back teaching 8 hours a week. My counterpart had graded most of my exams for which I am eternally grateful, although I have a feeling his method and answers might be different than mine. Teaching is good and I am not gonna let it stress me out. Been hanging with the nuns everyday and am happy I still have them when all else fails. Next Saturday I head on my journey to Zambia's Victoria Falls with Melania for my week and a half of vacation. We might even hit the Okavanta Delta in Botswana. We might to go micro-lighting over Vic Falls. So excited. So if anyone wants to call me they can try next Friday 06/26 or Saturday 06/27. After that I will be out of commission until 07/04th. Then I will return to Namabengo on 07/08.

At the end of the day I am happy. I have a good life here. Sad about my neighbor. Sad about my kids. Sad they will grow up without a mother. Sad I cannot bake them cakes anymore or hear them say “Woof, woof” to Mila. Will focus on my students. Looking forward to receiving letters (don't stress about packages folks, letters are the best). E-mail is back in Songea after a near 3 month downtime. And I will be back in America come December!!!!Those ghetto V souvenir rolls of film had better be developed!

So yeah, my hair is staying short. I did a poll at IST and all like my hair better short. They say it brings out my face. Nice. Good bye long hair. Hello Halle Berry (unearthly according to Victor)!

If you want to see pictures go to Avi, Jessica, or Charlie's website.

Anybody want their students/kids to be penpals with my kids?? How about any of you being penpals with my fellow teachers?? Please let me know if you are interested.

I am now going to work on a grant to build some toilets and a well at my school. Good times, good times.BTW I have a porcelain hole in the ground for my choo, 3 hours of electricity every night, running water every other day in my house, and a cd player…pretty nice. Gonna go back to Babu’s and have some awesome pilau w/meat for dinner, have stimulating conversation with him and Charles, maybe watch a movie and rlax. I don’t really want to be in Namabengo today so I am not going back. Tomorrow I will. I don’t have classes tomorrow so I am not gonna stress.

Day by DayXXOO Mamma Mila

So right now I am pimping it out in Mtwara...aka the promised land. Mtwara is on the eatsern coast of Tanzania along the Indian Ocean. I have two weeks off for Spring break so I decided to come here and spend it with my girl Heidi. I call it the promise land because Heidi's mother spoils her rotten and puts a package in the mail to her every day. Her mom even sent me a massive Valetine's Day package. So I am gonna feast at her house. She has fudge, capri suns, marshmallows, chocolate galore, taco seasoning, no bake cheesecake....every PCV's dream come true.

So I had a biotch of a tiem getting to Mtwara. Looking on a map it looks really easy to go from Songea to Mtwara, but not in reality. The road is not tarmaced/paved at all and it is the rainy season. If you are lucky you can make it in two days. Luckily, Mithril and Jackie, two PCV's from Njombe were travelling through Songea en route Mtwara at the same time I was going. Good I would not have to travel alone. We left this past Sunday for the bus stand at 5:30am. 7 hours later we finally got to leave Songea. Some jerk tried to get us to pay more money. He said the the driver stated that because the roads were bad he was going to have to charge us an additional 2, 000 each. He of course said thsi to me when I was alone and not around anyone else. He knew he was sketchy so I started talking with the Tanzanians going in our car and asked how much they paid. He never quoted the higher price to them. He kept on coming to me saying "Give me my money"...freakin wanker. We decided to not reply and simply climb into the car and never respond to him. He at one point tried to grab my friend and I just puched him and said to wait. He was mighty mad when he realized he was never gonna get that money. Plus all the Tanzanians were laughing at him because he just got screwed by the Wazungu who knew he was trying to screw them...sweet victory for the foreigners. So about 16 of us crammed into a LandRover and set sail for Mtwara. It was a bumpy arss ride and hardly comfortable. The car kept getting stuck in the mud and we woudl have to push the car. One time everyone but us three and a momma and her little boy stayed in the car. Everyone asked why we weren't getting out. Little did we know that we were about to go off roading. The driver had to drive zig zag and over these massive mnounsd of dirt. I felt like I was in an amusement park. So yeah, you can add "off roading" to my list of many activities done here in TZ. The poor momma did not look too keen. She ended up chundergutting (British English for vomiting)on her poor little boy's face. He was so cute and swet and never cried. I think he was about 5 years old. These Tanzanian kids are so well behaved. In America if a mom vomitted on her child's face, that child would have been in hysterics. No not this little boy. He just kept mum and wiped the vomit off his face. His poor mother. I laughed of course.Jackie did not think it was too funny since the momma was sitting next to her. Luckily it did not smell too bad because my past history has proven that if I smell vomit in cars, I will vomit myself. One time I even vomitted on my sister...not good. So then we had to fight for teh momma to get moved to the front of the car with a window. The first put her in the middle...I swear these people have no bloody clue. The next guy who sat next to Jackie ended up vomitting as wll. Not a good seat. One time when we had to puch the car I climbed underneath some 18 wheeler to escape the rain with the kids and ended up getting the top of my head all nasty dirty. Soem guy was trying to puch the car from a higher hill and ended up biting it. All of our feet were coated in white gray clay. We were smelling pretty sweet at this point. The driver was tearing up the road with a Michael Jackson's greatest hits tape and we were jamming. I think these Tanzanian drivers should hit the professioanl driving circuit. They are freaking amazing. 10 hours later we reached our first days destination...Tunduru. Allegedly there are man-eating liions in Tunduru. I was perrty stoked and hoped that i would get a glimpse of one amongst the high grasses of the land. But no luck.Soem freak dogs at the stand were fighting over us...why, I don't know. Go figure.So we ate a nice dinner at 10pm, went to our hoteli, bathed (I finally got the caked on mudd out of my Halle Berry like hair and could see my toes again). The next day we departed for Masasi, the land of abundant cashews.Started at 7pm, reached at 3pm. Land Rover packed again with 17 people. Then from Masasi to Mtwara. The bus pulled over for a long time and I decide to entertain myself by trying to sell water to teh people on the bus. I even tried to sell my housekeys and matches. They wee amused. Then we had to swap buses since teh road overflooded. Soem men offered to carry us through the river. We walke dit our own and teh water came rushing to above my knees. My friend Mithril kept on sinking. We finally made it on our bus and made it to Mtwara at 9 pm.

It was great. I am in eth promsied land.

So I have to apologize if I do not get to reply to any emails from my yahoo account. The email here is crap and every time I attempt to send an email it never goes through. So for those who wanted to know if I got the goods...yes to Kate, Liz, Vinita, Lisa and Anja, Lisa S,and Anil. I got it all and love it all. I heart you all. Can I just say that all I need now is the "FAME' soundtrack and I am well on my way to recreating my childhood dance moves when my sisters and I used to be known as "V4". Karibu (welcome) cd's now. My house is a rockin with tapes and cd's now. My dog looks at me as if I am a freak when I try to break it down to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch or attempt the water dance scene from Flash Dance with my buckets o water. My poor dog. Whate else is a girl to do in the bush?

So life is good. Actually life has never been better. All the people i know and love are healthy and are relatively happy. My mom has moved to India and has finally started to live life for herself. How awesome! Maybe 63 years late, but better late than never. V1 is pimping it out in Bmore fixing up the house and working on a cooking video. V2 is blissfully happily married and will finish business school now. WHOOHOO! V3 has a new job and is planning her wedding. My fam is good. Friends are good. Life here is good. I actually love what I am doing. Teaching is my calling. My kiswahili is getting awfully good. The villagers and I are tight. My new name is "Mamma Mila". My dog loves me. Hamna shida...life is good.It's funny I think about Baltimore an awful lot now. Maybe it is because now that mom is in India we don't know what will happen to the house.Once that house is gone, I have no "homebase". Mom used to be my homebase but now she is gone. Oh well. Such is life huh.

On April 11th I celebrated my 6 month anniversary in this country. 6 months!!!I recall feeling like I aged 5 years my last 6 months in England. So far the wedding count is on to 11 and now 3 friends are having babies in 2004...how exciting!!!

So I decided to break down my thoughts into points

Teaching the students-So I have to speak in both kiswahili and English. Sometimes I forget that some of these kids don't even know kiswahili (because they have some other tribal language). After seeing the poor results of my tests I was so upset and took it out on my poor Form I (9th grade...just now learning English). One kid could not tell me what a mother feeds its baby and I lost it. The day before most came in late. Earlier in class several kids did not have their notebooks. I had had enough. I threw my book down told them that they could read that and maybe do better than when I teach them and said they don't need me and left the classroom. I returned to my office where I cried at the thought that I came to this country to empower children not to tear them down...what have I done???My students came and got me and apologized to me. I replied by saying that they had no business apologizing. I had no reason to get mad and told them that I needed to have more patience with them. They thanked me and since then I have been doing damage control. That was a while ago and I think we are fine again. My nuns told me "Bado, bado" which means "later, later"...I have to adopt that mentality that I cannot just snap my fingers and have every child understand me and have them all get A's.This takes time.

So I guess my b-day weekend was truly a "cathartic" weekend for me because suddenly life became better. I guess after talking with the PCV's in Songea, reading/writing e-mails to PCV's in other parts of Tanzania, talking with people from home,and getting my couches...life has become good. The next day, 25th, my couches arrived. Too bad I did not have any cushions. Yeah!!! I would have to make another trip to Songea th following weekend.

So anyways, an older man from the village stopped by and asked me to help him put his two daughters through school. I had only talked with him once before. I knew he saw me as the "Rich American"...what could I do. His two daughters were in Forms 3 and 4 and his Form 2 daughte was at the top of her class. I had heard that when girls could not afford to go to school, they would then sleep with creeper older men to get the money to go to school. They then would get HIV or get pregnant and would have to leave school anyways...this thought sickened me and after much thought I decided to bite the bullet and agree to put them through school.He is a farmer and I know the farming situation is pretty crap here. But one condition, he had to agree to be my "landscaper/fit-it" person. He agreed. I am happy about this because I was plannning on sponsoring a student anyways, but not this fast. Whatever, I am helping two girls get an education. I feel good.

A former PCV gave me advice to leave my house at least once a day and tp stop being a "hermit"..I took his advice and go see the nun/sisters everyu evening. They give me maandazi and chai. They have now become my "girlfriends" here in Namabengo. They taught me to cook maandazi. I taught them how to cook an excellent pumpkin soup. En route to their house I have become friends with a mamma and her granddaughter. They also feed me maandazi and chai. It is nice to have these outlets.

The little kids do not dare call me Mzungu anymore and rush to help me carry books and what have you.

I should commend my fellow Namabengo teachers...we had a "How to Tech English" seminar at our school. They asked for it. We worked on all sorts of "Participatory" teaching methods and we all learned alot. I should feel proud of them since they made the big step to ask for this help. They all were quite keen on seeing me teach. Classes finally began. I am teaching!!wHOOHOO!!!I was just trying to get to know my students better the first week.

So I went back to Songea, hung out with John and the volunteers, went dancing, bought wire for my dog fence and cushions for my couch.I felt rather rushed with the whole "couch-cushion" buying experience. I hated the design. Regardless I bought it anyways. Upon returning back to Namabengo I was horrified to find that the cushions were "too" big and looked horrible! The kids were scared of me because I was I hated the cushions so much. The next day my HeadMaster came over and said I should return them that day and leave school, classes, and go to Songea. So just like a Tanzanian teacher, I skipped school and went to Songea. I ended up berrating the shop keeper who sold me the cushions and they gave me all of my money back. They were such a pain in my arss. Luckily I found what I wanted for half the price, stayed with John another night, got two packages and headed back to Namabengo. Can I just say how much my London BUNAC friend Liz from Minnesota rocks??? The girl sent me all of her OLD SCHOOL mixed tapes!! I am talking tapes with classics such as "Tarzan Boy","Informer" by Snow,"Best of U2",Neil Diamond, "Brown Eyed Girl",Bon Jovi, and the "Foot Loose" and "Top Gun" sountracks. I truly think that Kenny Loggins is the 80's mots underrated musician...the man is brilliant. I HEART KENNY LOGGINS. If you asked me what music era I love the best I would have to say the 80's. If anyone has Steve Winwood, Journey, Chicago, or any glam rock..send them my way. Thank you Liz for the mixed tapes that you taped off the radio back when it was cool. Heidi, a fellow OCV, also sent me a package with a mixed tape taht had all sorts of Bon Jovi tunes. These mixed tapes have severely lightened my mood in Namabengo.

So my yard looks awesome thanks to my Baba Landscaper.The Head of the English Department enlisted my help in teaching English and commented on how he thinks I am lonely. This helped me alot and now I get to talk with alkl of my teachers. I asked one to tutor me in kiswahili so she invited me over for lunch and so that I could meet her daughter. Baba Landscaper built me a dog fence, my garden has been dug, my living room is set up with the couches, my house is clean, I get to teach, the teachers talk to me...not too bad. Wait it only gets better!

So I am now the proud momma of a 2 month old puppy. I have had him for nearly two weeks. His name is "Mila" which means "Customs/Traditions" in kiswahili. I knew a girl named Mila at Phillips so it reminds me of America and because Tanzabia is a country full of traditions and customs I figured the name was fitting.He is the sweetest dog. I carry like a baby. It follows me and cries when I leave. Everyone loves my dog.It really makes a big difference. I love it and do not feel so alone. I even take walks with him at night.I love child. I am not gonna think about what I will do in two years. I will just focus on the present and cherish it now.

I had to give a test the other week.Let me just say that grading sucks!!!Mad props to my teacher friends who have been doing this for awhile. I love it though and feel productive.

Summary

I now teach 20 periods a week (4 English/ 16 Biology). I start next week volunteering at the hospital. I have 4 hours of kiswahili tutoring a week. I am also going to start to teach English to the nuns every Sunday. Form 2 asked me to teach them an English song for the "Welcome Form 1" party which will take place next Saturday. I figured "This little Light of Mine" was a good one. Cannot wait to teach them more English songs..let me know if you have any suggestions. I also started my Biology/Health Club yesterday. It rocked out. My Kiswahili tutor Anna and I have been getting pretty close to. I am happy. Life is good. My studenst are great. I chewed out a few for making fun of my Kiswahili. I told them that I would never dare to make fun of their English but woudl try to help them. This has helped my relationship with my students. Right now we have some Student Teachers doing their "Student-Teaching" from the Songea Teachers Training College.They are energetic and utilize participatory methods of taeching. This is pretty awesome to see Tanzanians using these techniques.They get on my nerves a bit because they think they are superior to me since we are the same age and they can speak Kiswahili...of course they can,THEY ARE TANZANIAN...but can they speak English??English is what every Secondary school teacher must teach in and is the language that all of their exams are in. The male student-teachers are the only ones who talk with me. They were also surprised to see a WOMAN teaching science. I had to explain to them that that was why I was there...to show that girls can do well at science. Of course I am not gonna tell them that I have to re-study my biology.The Head of my Department tried to cop attitude with me one day for something that was not my fault in front of the other teachers. I put the smack down on him in private and told him never to treat me like a student because I am a teacher and came from far away to be a treated like a teacher and not a child. He got the point and we are hunky dory.

Last weekend I came here to Songea and rejoined with Alicia and Charles. We had so much fun and played the "Life Questions" games on Valentine's Day with the VSO's. It was really one of the best nights I have ever had in Tanzania. So Charles, Alicia, and I celebrated V-Day in style and went to Songea's infamous disco where we met with at least 100 Tanzanians. They all were there for Valentine's Day. After witnessing the crippled guy win the "dance-off", the V-Day festivities began. They had a woman wearing a bikini and a man in a suit passing out cake to the lovely "couples". So Alicia and

I went up together. We were wearing matching second hand shirts and

truck driver hats while also carrying umbrellas....STYLIN AND PROFILIN in Songea. So the MC asked us our names and Alicia said hers and I said "Charles".Then when he asked where we were from Alicia said "German". Alicia and I then fed each other cake. Some random has been shpwing this picture all around Songea. Some guy stole Alicia's umbrella later on she managed to get it back. Since me and the VSO with us were in a "Kahli/Fierce" mood. She called him a "mwezi" while him and his mpenzi were making excuses saying that he meant to take his girlfriend's umbrella. Bullocks! I did not buy that and had to "get Baltimore on his arss" (a.k.a yelled at him, waved my umbrella at them, called him a "mwezi", and pushed him)....good times, good times in Songea.

Moral of the story...Don't Let Vicki get "Baltimore on Your Arss"

I am happy. It is great to have things that give shape to my days in Namabengo.I finally am starting to feel like I am doing what I came here to do.

Thanks to all for the letters, phone calls, packages, and thoughts.

About packages...if you want to send me anything declare the items as "Educational Materials". I also have plenty of pencils and rulers. Thank you.

Take Care

Oh yeah the wedding count that I am missing this year is officially 11!!!Regardless of me being invited or not I am still missing 11!!!!I will be back in December for Varsha and Bertie's wedding. Think mom is in India now. Not sure.Anyways, love to all.

This is Vicki's Ugali Report Part Three…this will be long…POLE(sorry). So I left you all with me about to begin my life in my village Namabengo...

>So my first week there I bounced between Songea (nearest main town) and Namabengo shopping for food and other various items for my house. We have befriended a lovely Dutch ex_pat named John. He is 74 years old and has a lovely house with hot showers, an eclectic assortment of books and movies. I have spent much of my free time in Songea at John's having tea, eating bread, and watching movies. In fact, I think I have watched more movies at John's than I think I have watched in America. John has two houseboys whom he sent to help me shop for house items. The boys took their bikes into town and I gave them the full list of what I needed for my house. They sat me down at their favorite hardware store and they went off shopping for my many items. I simply sat there and attempted to teach the children who worked as tailors (fundis) how to read English from the back of the Walt Disney Cinderella video box. The two boys went all around Songea and gathered all of my items for me…it was great!

When they were done we brought all of my items back to another PC volunteer's house where I stored everything until I went back to Namabengo. The next day my headmaster send a truck to the house and a million little watoto (children) helped me carry my stuff to the car. I gave them all plums for their lovely efforts. I then returned back to Namabengo and blasted my new Bob Marley tape on the drive home. I was warmly welcomed by my little neighbors who all shouted "Dada (sister) Vicki" when they saw me coming. I was delighted to be back home. They too helped me carry all of my items into my house. Did I mention that the school installed cheap plastic door locks and I broke both door handles. Yeah that is great…I fell down my back steps with my cheap plastic door handle in my hand. Needless to say I was not pleased. This was all the way back at the beginning of December and I still had another month and a half to go before school began. During this time I was supposed to be working

on my house, working on my farm, integrating with the locals and what have you. My days were actually spent sitting in my house staring at the wall, reading books, staring at the stars, avoiding the children when they were around, and missing them when they weren't around…that is how I spent my first 3 weeks in Namabengo. I attended a "Teacher's Day" celebration which had all of the local village teachers get together in Namabengo and we celebrated our profession of being teachers. They served everflowing soda and beer and served a nice lunch. A true sign of me becoming cynical was the fact that I wondered if the teachers were in fact celebrating being teachers or if they were they simply there for the free food and drinks…I just don't know. I went with my kids to the river and read a book while they played in the suspect river. The kids even loved taking the mud and rubbing it all over their little nekked bodies. I simply ignored this and read on. With all of my free time staring at the

wall I think about how underrated mud, sticks, water, tires, and water bottles are in America. The kids here use these as their toys. No such thing as a Snoopy Snow Cone machine or Easy Bake oven in the third world. American kids are spoiled rotten. When and if I ever have kids, they will have a blast making their water bottle trucks. I rolled a tire with some of my kids and could not stop laughing. Try it sometime. It provides endless entertainment. I also tred to bake one item a week at my neighbors house for the kids. Our ovens are constructed out of taking one pot and putting on top of 3 stones layed in a bigger pot. We then cover the whole contraption with a lid and place hot coals on the lid. It works brilliantly. So far I have baked yellow cake, brownies, and mango cobbler. Sometimes I play dead for my kids and they drag me around trying to get me to wake up. I was a bit frustrated because my headmaster was never around because he was always in Songea. I wanted to start on my farm but need help finding wood to build a fence. I wanted to have furniture made but no one was around to tell me where I could find the carpenter (fundi). All the teachers were gone for the holiday month. I constantly looked forward to the weekends where I would meet up with my friends in Songea and have conversations. No one stopped by my house except for my kids. I never ventured out of my house to the other part of the village. Another reason why I have not ventured into the village is because Tom, the volunteer who was there 3 years ago, was the "oobervolunteer". To this day everyone in Namabengo still loves him. "Tom spoke perfect Kiswahili, Kindendulele, and Kingone","Tom had a wonderful shamba (farm)","Tom went for runs every day","Tom said his first home is Namabengo","Tom this…Tom that …"…whatever… they don't seem to care that Tom had freakin taken one of his students as his girlfriend. In my many times of solitude, I have grown to hate Tom. Poor guy. I simply look at my pictures of home missing it more and more. So yeah I know that my last e-mail painted this fantastic picture. Many wrote and said how it sounded like paradise and how I must be loving life. Training was truly like summer camp. Now in my village, I have been most unproductive. So when people write me and say "We are so proud of you","You are saving the world", "You are so brave", know that I do not deserve any of these compliments. I only hope to deserve these compliments someday. Right now I am just squandering the US tax payers dollars staring at the wall. So Charles and I went to visit Alicia in Mbinga. It was good to go to another place. I did finally go out of my house and inquired about a dog and stopped by the mission to talk with the sisters at the convent. I had a great time chatting with them. They fed me cookies and made me eat moths (bugs...simply tossed in salt and you pop them in your mouth like peanuts. They taste fine). They also promised to teach me how to crochet and said they would love me to help at the hospital. Too bad they are nuns at the church with the creeper priest. They ask me why I don't come to their services. I told them I was gonna check out the Assemblies of God church in my village and they freaked out. So basically I am screwed if I go to one church or the other. The other bad thing is that the priest's probably think I am really rude because I have not spoken with them after returning to Namabengo. They have no idea that I think they are gross. They just think I am the ungrateful American who is so rude as to not stop by after staying at the church for a week during site visit. Dilemma, dilemma….

So finally the week of Christmas arrives and I leave Namabengo. My second master finally popped up and I gave him a long list of my many questions. I always drew out designs for bookshelves I needed. The only pieces of furniture I had in my house were my bed, dining room table, and a short table. Basically everything I had was on the floor. Another reason for frustration…how could I get my house sorted if I could not put my stuff away. I was not allowed to cut down trees around me for wood because they are trying to preserve the forest. My headmaster had stated that the school had wood, but no one had been around for me to ask so I could make my own furniture. I told the second master that I was going to travel illegally yet again and if Peace Corps ever got wind of it I might be sent home. Hearing this he said he would simply state that I was in Songea if Peace Corps were to come looking for me and he would call me on my cell phone if this were to happen. So I left Namabengo with a trouble-free mind. Went to Songea for a lovely Christmas feast with John, Charles, and Alicia. Charles, Alicia, and I did not sleep that night because we had to leave at 4am the next morning for Mafinga. We simply watched many movies and headed on our illegal Christmas adventure. The bus ride to Mafinga was only supposed to take 6 hours and somehow took 9 since the bus went past our stop.

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>MAFINGA

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>We arrived in Mafinga on Christmas Eve and joined 36 of our fellow PCV's. The two people hosting the party had secured 2 goats and a pig to roast. Unfortunately one goat died the week before. The locals had slaughtered the pig before hand. It was pretty funny to see a giant pig head in the compost pile. Never seen that before. So my Eve was spent eating roasted pig, chicken, making cakes, mashed potatoes, making tortillas, watching "BRAVEHEART " (I still have a soft spot for Mel), eating, talking, drinking, dancing, singing, eating…it was a blast. The funniest was Mafinga is really cold and no one brought warm stuff except for me so everyone was wearing my clothes. Even Dan who is built like the "Brawny Man" wore my clothes. Needless to say, my tops which are too small for me were way too small for everyone else. Dan looked like he was wearing a black crop top. At one point he had on my tight orange fleece, with my black hooded sweater over it. Due to his brawniess, the shirt became cropped from behind. One girl who was like 6 feet tall was wearing my black hooded sweater. She looked like she was wearing children's clothing. It truly entertained me. The hosts had secured about 30 mattresses from their school for us all. I made the unwise choice to put my mattress across from the cho (toilet)…it stank and every hour were streaming in and out all night. . Charles got all goofy and decided to write "Peace", or "Merry X-mas" on people's faces. Poor Jimmy was sleeping on the mattress between Caitlin and I and we decided to play "Piga (hit) Jimmy"! So we took a ball and back and forth hit him with it. I was totally amused…clearly I was in another state of mind. Then Christmas Day arrived and we sat around and did the same but sortof different. I made Gulab Jamun (Indian dessert with sweet balls in sugar sauce)…these quickly became called "Vicki's Salty Balls" …freakin scavengers!!!!! Then I helped Pete make homemade cheese fondue. People went in and out of the house all day except for me and a few others. Some played basketball. Some continued to drink while resting, some shopped, some ate.They brought the goat out and I watched it get slaughtered. Totally interesting. Let me tell you though, goats have very little meat on their bodies. Just go for the pig if you decide to roast in your yard. Rich, ex army sargeant, is our clown and he wore a special "Santa" outfit that day. He had gone to a tailor and had taken an ornament with him and an Indian couple to explain the "Santa Claus" outfit…several hours later they figured out what he wanted. That night we all sat around the goat and he read the Christmas story we all wrote up. The rules were you were only allowed to read the sentence before yours…Avi is typing it up and will post it. It is so funny. I swear these Peace Corps people are pretty damn funny.We continued to party hearty and have a good time trying to forget about the fact that none of us were with our own families, but yet embracing the fact that we had such a lovely group of people to be with…that is how saw my Christmas 2003.We started to play "Who is most likely too" and I ended up drifting to sleep while slipping down the bed that was at an angle. I awakened to the smell of dog poo in the hallway. None of us wanted to clean it so finally a mental cleaned it up, bless her. We argued over beds and sheets and somehow I ended up using another mattress as my blanket. Poor Charles, I stole his pillow. Poor Jimmy, I kept on wailing for chapstick and when he went to get it for me I

tried to steal his blanket…me and my clepto habits. Charles thought it was funny to stick the bag of poo in Kevin's tent. Too bad Kevin was not sleeping in there that night. That was my Christmas 2003…a cross between summer camp/college frat party/and a butchery.

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>So the next day we set off the go hiking in Udzungwa National Park. Somehow our little group of 5 people became a massive group of 15. The original 5 of us were not pleased with this and eventually just ditched the rest and we headed to Dar en route to Kilwa. It took about 9 hours to reach.

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>DAR ES SALAAM

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>Dar is enemy territory because we would get in trouble in case someone from Peace Corps should lay eyes on us. We were so tired and just chilled that first night. The next day while walking in Dar, a car stopped right in front of us. All of us froze because the woman inside was a Peace Corps person. Good thing she looked the other way and we all look different. I would have been the dead give away if I had my big hair. She never saw me with no hair. Whoo!!!! We figured we needed to go to less populated place…Wet N Wild Water Park. We had so much fun. You really can do whatever you want at these parks in Africa…rules ,what rules!!!! Our favorite was to form chains backwards. We tried to do the "Indian Runs" where the last person would try to climb up everyone else and reach the top of the chain while going down the slide. Poor Jimmy ended up falling face down on me of course. We played volleyball, basketball, and chicken fights. Jimmy and I won! We then found a human sized (well child sized) mousewheel and we were entertained with turning in that. One of the workers decided to be all cool and show how to "Really turn". Then we played on jungles gyms and I nearly flew off the spinny thing because we had both Dan and Jimmy spinning the wheel. Water Park, hours of entertainment. We then went back into town and had dinner. Heidi, Alicia and I then watched Lord of the Rings Part III.

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>The next morning we left on a bus at 5:45 am for Kilwa. I was covered in dirt from the dirt flying in the window for another 9 hours. They had to change the tire and Denise got to help. Lucky bird. We played life questions again. OU bus broke down and Denise got to help change a tire!

>KILWA

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>Finally reached Kilwa to see Mitch and Cheng. This was Cheng's site. Mitch was illegally coming to see us from Lindi. He was the guy who got caught after we were sworn in and Peace Corps banished him to his site for 6 months. Yeah, he broke it to see us. We immediately went to the market, ate some lunch and trekked to Cheng's house. His house is nestled in between a swimming beach and a scenic beach..Lucky bastard. Too bad his house is filthy, dirty, and covered in termite trails. Cheng is pretty Cheng about these things and does not really care. So we went and hit the beach for a swimming session in the Indian Ocean. Bagamoyo's water was so hot you could cook your rice in it. The water in Kilwa was pretty perfect, balmy and cool. A freakin dream. We met some momma's on the beach who were carrying massive fish on their heads. We asked them to save one for us the next day. We were able to get some little fish for that night's dinner though. So we grilled fish, made pasta and ate

> fruit. For some reason I was on this soda kick and had to have about 3 sodas a day in Kilwa. My thirst was never quenched. I was on a sugar high.The next day we got up bright and early and went to see the ruins of Kilwa. We walked for a while past mangroves to where we had to catch the boat (dow) to the Kilwani Ruins. We caught several crabs along the way and met two PCV's who had just completed 3 years in Ecuador. They promised to come hang out later. We waited for the boat and set sail to the ruins. Our tour guide weas not too pleased with us because we were bloody exhausted from our long trek the day before. It sortof reminded me of the tourguides who would be dressed up in Annapolis touring us around in their costumes back in high school. None of us really cared too much. We did not savor the lovely ruins as much as we should have. Poor guy. Ahh bless.The ruins were gorgeous of course and one castle had belonged to a sultan that had 77 wives. Polygamy at its best. What would you do with 77 wives? Allegedly the Zulu King in South Africa is quite attractive and takes on a new wife every year. They hold a pageant of sorts to see who will become his next wife. Wow. We saw a rotting carcass of a dolphin and bought little ices for ourselves and 10 little village children…yeah I know the water was probably not boiled. We took the dow back to Kilwa and had a gorgeous journey on the way back with the white sail whipping away. I was able to stick my legs in the ocean the whole time and relished every second of it. We finally got back to the house and we went back to the beach for a another swim. We then crashed for a few hours while Dan and Cheng went to get our massive tuna from the mommas. They returned with a 40 pound tuna. I swear, it was bigger than me. So Mitch and Dan put on their headlamps and carved away while the rest of us ate jackfruit and made the remainder of dinner. We talked about the 101 ways we could cook tuna. Thanks to the winner of Yoyo and Rob's last SuperBowl party, I was set on making fish tacos. We put a ton of fish back into the fridge and told the momma next door to take the rest of the fish for herself and the little children. I don't think she had had that much food in her possession in her life. She sortof had the nerve to ask why we could not cut up the entire fish for her. Anyways she took it away. We grilled steaks that night and became sick of jackfruit. The next day we were excited about doing nothing. Jimmy, Dan, Heidi and I set about to cook up a storm and Jimmy and I attempted to make Chocolate Peanut Butter donuts. Jimmy and I named them "DeathWish". Most of us were sick of some sort (probably due to unsanitary conditions at Cheng's..aka butpiss) and tried to sleep all day or at least make sure were near a toilet. Not too bad if I may say so. They all reverted to asking me for advice on what and how to cook. I have to say that my ability to cook is due to my family and my old housemates. Rich, Alicia, and Kate came and surprised us that day as well. Jimmy, Dan, and I got some sodas in the village and talked awhile about what we would do if were sent home to America. We went for another swim where somehow Dan stole Rich's shorts and none of us went near him in the ocean. We returned to make fish tacos and more tuna steaks. Awesome. I have never had one bad Peace Corps meal. Sorry if I repeat things.The next day was New Year's Eve and most of us slept, washed clothes and relaxed while Rich and Kate went to the Ruins. The PCV's from Ecuador stopped by and chatted with us. We eventually set out cook corn tortillas but something went terribly wrong so we decided to turn it into corn bread. We made meals of tuna steaks, rice, French toast, and various mango salsas while drinking Cheng's not quite finished homemade pineapple wine. The corn bread was still not ready and we left the house at 11:40 so we could be in the Indian Ocean swimming amongst the phosphorescent waves at midnight. We made it there and saw the waves crashing on the shore with little green sparkles in it. This was the phosphorescent phenomenon that we were so eager to see. When you stay still in the water you see nothing. Once you start swimming or wave your arms and body parts around you see the little green lights. The phosphorescence occurs due to the plankton in the Ocean getting into contact with something. Don't know the whole science of it but it is really amazing. It is like a million lighting bugs in the Ocean surrounding you. Amazing…the best damn New Year's I have ever had…Pole to the Hogmanay crew. We brought a Nalgene bottle of Cheng's pineapple wine into the ocean and celebrated the New Year. The PCV's from Ecuador joined us since they could hear us from the bar nearby. They thought we were lame because we had no more booze on us nore carried any drugs of any sort. Our science group does not really fall into the "Hippyishness" of most PCV's. We decided to join the PCV's who were treating us to a beer at the bar. We headed to the bar and had one beer each and danced and talked with South Africans. I tried to get them to keep the bar open and change the music but to no avail. They shut down, the Ecuadoran PCV's left, and half of us went back to the beach while the rest of us decided to swim in the aquablue "Wild Things" like pool. We really only had about 1 hour left before we had to leave to catch the bus back to Dar. The corn bread never made it to cornbread but was only "Corn dust". We feasted upon it and Rich even stuck his entire face in it with glasses an all. Dan told me I had to be the last to bathe since I took part in throwing people in the Ocean. Cheng and Heidi came back north with us because we decided to hike Udzungwa since Rich said it was amazing. Mitch went back South the Lindi. We left quickly and caught the little bus back to Dar. This bus ride was the most entertaining ride. The short people (me, Heidi, Denise, and Dan) had the best viewing seats in the back. Kate was stuck up front with the gear stuck in between her legs. Jimmy had lots of leg room but was near the door so he had people knocking his head every second. Cheng was in the aisle and ended up fallin asleep with his head wedged in some guys armpit. Alicia was crammed. And then there was Rich. Rich was stuck in the fold up seat in the aisle in front of me. The seat is not sturdy and if you sit in that seat you end up richocheting off of the seat due to the unpaved roads. Poor Rich was bouced out of his seat and could not take it anymore. He decided to strap his head to the seat using two shirts. His face was covered. So when the seat bounced instead of bouncing out of the seat he bounced with the seat. I swear I nearly peed in my pants watching this sight. Then the bus driver yelled at Rich telling him he was breaking his seat. Rich with his limited Kiswahili said "Kiti Bovu" (seat ROTTEN), "Nimechoka sana" (I am very tired), "I want my money back" (English),"Give me a Discount"(English), "Nakupenda Tanzania" (I love you Tanzania),"I teach your children" (English). Needless to say the Tanzanians and all of us were thoroughly amused. I actually cried because I was laughing so hard. Rich then decided to sit on the aisle floor and rest his head in our laps for the duration of the journey. He is a good sport. This ride took 9 to 10 hours.We made it to Dar and left Alicia. She had to start teaching in the next few days and had to return to Mbinga. We got on a bus and went for 4 hours to Morogorro where we stayed with Avi (www.froboy.org) en route to Udzungwa.

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>Morogorro

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>We bathed and watched part of "Pirates of the Carribean" on his nice computer. The next day we took a 5 hour bus ride to Udzungwa National Park.

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>Udzungwa

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>Rich decided to come to UNP for a second time since it was so awesome before. Jennifer joined us to go on it for a second time. Since we got there late the guide said that we would have the do the climb fast. Normally it takes you 3 hours to go up it. We hauled arss and did it in 1.5 hours. I nearly died. I was with the sportiest people of our group and I was the most out of shape and overweight. Denise, bless her, hung back with me and kept me going. I tell you, Old Rag, was a walk in the clouds compared to this hike. I was so delirious I did not even realize I had the same conversation about "Stand By Me" the movie three times. Jennifer quoted me saying three times "Stand By Me! You love that movie too!"…delirious. The whole group was amazing and never made me feel bad about being in the back. Jimmy, Dan, and Rich would hang back to relax and walk and chat to Denise and I. We sang, we laughed, I loved it really…but how the hell am I going to climb Kilimanjaro????I need to train for at least a year. We finally reached the first set of waterfalls overlooking Udzungwa. Amazing. Then we hiked some more to the best set of falls and went swimming. The water was biting cold but so fresh and so pure. The Indian Ocean in Kilwa was REALLY salty and stung my eyes. I have always said that I am more of an ocean person than a freshwater person, but I think this fall dip won me over to the freshwater lovers. The falls poured amongst us and climbed behind then and climbed up the rocks and did flipped out into the fall back into the water. With the rain forest backdrop, pure water, monkey noises in the background and fabulous company, we all felt like we were in heaven. We got out and took some self timed pictures. Jimmy was actually running and slipped on a rock. His camera caught the moment and we all had these looks of "Oh No" on our faces while he was on his back. A picture that is truly priceless. One of these days I will get him to send it to me and I will send it to you. We trekked back down the mountain and watched hordes of red colobus monkeys. I loved it.We said goodbye to Jennifer and Rich and the rest of us stayed at a hotel that night. At this hotel we met a Peace Corps volunteer who had just finished in Madagascar. He was first in Cote de Voire but was evacuated from there and then got sent to Madagascar. He told us about how we never had a home in CDV and how we went from place to place every two weeks, but loved it there the most. In Madagascar he lived in a house made out of steel drums and a straw roof. We all realized just how spoiled we were in Tanzania to have a house, cell phones, and house hands.We continued to play "Kill, Marry, What have you.." and the best one was for the guys "Kimmy Gibbler, Blossom, or Jennifer from Family Ties"…who would you pick???? We decided to keep the journey going and go to the meat market the next day in Dodoma and eat cheese, meat, and ice cream which is apparently abundant in the capital city of Dodoma.

I have never had a more miserable night of sleep in Tanzania. It was hideously hot and humid. Denise and I nearly striped down only shielding ourselves with the holey mosquito net from Jimmy . I even slept upside down but to no avail. The next day we set sail and took a bus another 5 hours back to Morogorro where we caught a bus leaving for Dodoma. This ride took 4 hours and we reached Dodoma eventually.

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>Dodoma

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>Glory (Tanzanians pronounce her name as "Ghi-lo")met up with us and took her to her place. We figured we missed the meat market and decided to cook dinner at her place. We bought ice cream and cheese to appease me since that was the whole reason why I came to Dodoma. Dan also bought me an egg chop which I think is Tanzania's most brilliant invention falling second to the ketchup packets of alcohol. The egg chop is a hard boiled egg surrounded by seasoned beef deep fried. Heaven…. I am surprised the British never caught hold of this since they deep fry everything they eat (i.e. mushy peas, Mars bars, remote controls,etc..)The dala dala we took stopped at the meat market and Denise and I jumped out to get some meat anyways while everyone else headed back to Ghi-Lo's. Denise and I got 40 little skewers of meat and she let me try the "Nundu" (phatty hump on the back of a cow). Let me tell you…it was a meat lovers dream. This bit of fat if it is a nice cut and cooked properly which mine was totally melts in your mouth…like butter/butta. I am now a phatty hump fan. We grabbed a soda and while waiting for our skewers went and looked at second hand clothes being sold amongst the tables of meat being hacked all around us. Denise managed to find 4 pairs of linen pants all for 10 cents each!!! I love Tanzania. Jimmy then found us and said that the police threw everyone off their dd since it was too full. So when did 50 people become too much for a 20 passenger vehicle in Tanzania. Bloody capital city. The ice cream had been melting and Heidi wanted to eat it while Denise and I were gone. Dan stopped her evil attempts. He named her GOLLUM, the creature/ex-Hobbit from Lord of the Rings who went back and forth from being evil and good although she knew how much I had been looking forward to eating the ice cream. I think the name is quite fitting. So we trekked to Ghi-Lo's where we Feasted on cooked fajitas with CHEESE! We also drank Kahlua Cookies and Cream milkshakes listened to Ani DiFranco and slept. Dan and Jimmy had convinced Ghi-Lo to go with them to see Dave and Matt in Hanang. The rest of us were going home. I said goodbye to Heidi and Cheng who headed back South to the beach where they lived. For some reason I waffled on heading back to Songea. I was only meant to be gone for less than 2 weeks. Now I was encroaching upon being gone for 3 weeks. Denise was from Dodoma so she was staying and was tired of travelling. Dave is my best friend in our group and why shouldn't I go see him? June was too far away to see him.What was I gonna do in the Bengo but become a hermit again and stare at the wall and look forward to going to Songea??? The woman at the duka (convenient store) convinced me to see Dave so off with them I went prolonging my return to my site. We officially had the most hideous bus ride from Dodoma to Singida. The bus was supposed to leave at 11am, but we did not leave until 2pm. Then they driver said he had no room for our bags underneath the bus so we had to schlept our bags with us. I then stood in the doorway of the bus and the rest of our group were wedged amongst 100 people standing in the aisle. So of course the Dodoma cops pull us over since there are too many people. We then have to go back to Dodoma and then set en route to Singida. We all eventually got seats. Ghi-Lo was stuck in the back next to a pervert. Jimmy was sitting up the burning engine. Dan was wedged somewhere. I was sitting next to the aisle and had some guy basically sitting on my back. I elbowed him but nothing changed. Finally the bus pulled over and something was broken. Dan and Jimmy soon found out that they had taken the brakes off wheels. We ate some chappati, unripe mangoes, and God help us more cookies (I HATE COOKIES NOW!) They is only one snack that is sold in Tanzania at bus stands…cookies. This Christmas adventure has turned me off to biskuti for life, maybe. We left again and Ghi-Lo and Jimmy ended up standing next to me shielding me from the guy sitting on my back. Dan took the hot seat and Ghi-lo escaped from the pervert. We took turns swapping seats and played more "Would you rather","Kill, Marry, What have you" and other life questions. We also resorted to "Categories" involving Actors, Songs, Movies…I totally kicked ass.

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>Singida

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>I knew we were nearing because I could see the enormous boulders. Singida is known for having nothing but boulders. It was strange to see boulders next to a main road. They were beautiful and reminded me of Joshua tree only these boulders were not bright orange but grey. We finally arrived in Singida 11 hours after leaving Dodoma.

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>We stayed at a PCV married couples house who were travelling. Their house is enormous and have massive boulders overlooking Singida next door. We did not have the key so Dan, Ghi-Lo and I slept on the front porch while Jimmy got the key. Upon entering the house I stepped in dog pee and what have you. Allegedly their dog is like the village bicycle "Everyone has had a ride"…the dog is full of STD's.But sweet nonetheless.We showered and slept for a few hours. The next day we embarked on a 4-5 hour journey to Katesh to surprise Matt.

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>Katesh

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>This bus ride was decent. Plenty of room since we were sitting in the back. Jimmy and I attempted to sleep resting our heads on each other but due to the bumpy roads and sever height difference we ended up knocking heads. Mt. Hanang loomed in sight. It looked gorgeous and suddenly Dan and Jimmy wanted to hike it the next day. I would have rather died than go on another hike at that point. Hanang has no internet or cell phone connection so there was no way for Dave or Matt to know we were coming which was exciting. That was how all of Tanzania was before 2 years ago. Matt was shell shocked to see us. We were disappointed because he did not shout for joy but Matt is not really that kind of guy. He was happy to see us though for real. He had his house girl wash our clothes, cook us lunch, and offered us beds to nap in. It was like a dream come true. Ghi-lo and I talked for hours instead of sleeping. We discussed men, God, and about how we were gonna screw the hike and bake the next day.

Figures that on this leg of my journey I found a new friend. Ghi-Lo reminds me of Kate Bisset…firey hair and all. So then Matt took us to see Dave in Katesh.

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>Katesh

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>Upon seeing us Dave ran, screamed incessantly, jumped, danced, and picked Dan and I up. Dan, Dave and I were finally together again. Dave looked so funny. His hair is all long and he had it in little girly clips to keep it out of his face. He says "Tanzanians don’t know any better so why not"…true, true. So we went to lovely little place. The PCV before him left him all hooked up. He had three bikes, a down comforter, and every baking ingredient known to man. He also had a lovely little enclosed courtyard much like Peter's first place in Putney. I would love my own private courtyard. Dave showers in his courtyard (when he bathes which is like every 2 weeks). We went to the sokoni (market)and bought up fixins for scalloped pototaes, rice, and peanut sauce curry. The next day they decided to screw the hike and veg. We baked, ate leftovers, and played drinking games all day. We were pretty wasted and it was so much fun. Matt is really good at the "Life Question" games especially. We talked about how life here in Tanzania is a waiting game and how we are tired of waiting. So that night we ate bean burritos and continued to drink the jungle juice/gin/tang concoction we had whipped up. Went to bed. I was gonna try to separate from the rest and do a loop and stop in Babati to see Lauren, then to Arusha to see my homestay family, then all the way back to Songea from Arusha. I realized I did not have enough money and went back with Ghi-Lo, Dan, and Jimmy. We said our goodbyes and headed back to Singida. 4 hours standing up. I started to lie to Tanzanians and make up stories to entertain in kiswahili. They told me I would be a good politician. Not sure about that remark. Finally got to Singida.

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>Singida

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>Ghi-Lo did aerobics to Brittany while Dan, Jimmy and I climbed up the boulders to watch the sun set amongst Singida. Singida is nestled between two lakes and you could see both lakes from where we stood. It was gorgeous. We all had to take a mental picture since none of had cameras on us (OR ME WHO NEVER HAS ONE). We then went and grabbed sinner at the safiest restaurant in Singida. Allegedly they play Premier football on the tv's there. Went back and the boys bathed and read while Ghi-Lo and I had one last pow-wow about life and its curveballs, peoples' expectations for us, how it is so easy to put on a smile when everything else is falling apart, life, life, life. Getting a few hours of sleep. We said goodbye to Jimmy who was staying in the Singida region.What a great guy. Will miss him and his antics.This bus ride was 10 hours to Dodoma where Dan and Ghi-lo got off since they are from Dodoma. I stayed on the bus to Morogorro. Sad to say goodbye. Oh well, will see them soon enough.

> 4 hours later I was in Morogorro.

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>Morogorro

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>I went from stand to stand and finally got a bus for the next morning to Songea. The guy who sold it to me was a complete asshole. While I was sitting in the daladala waiting to go to Avi's this crazy man brought out a knife and was wielding it in the street. The quickly shut the doors on the dd and the crowd jumped him. Very interesting. If you yell out "Mwizi"/thief in Tanzania when you are being robbed the crowd will jump the thief and will beat them to death. Don't mess with the crowds. Not sure what happened with this guy since he was not a thief but just plain crazy. Avi and I made homemade chili. Too bad I cut chili's and my hands were burning for the entire night. Sortof how they burned when I was in New Orleans with Erica and Laura after I ate crawfish. Ave brought out his ice chest and I had my hands in their for hours. I fell asleep with a cold rag on my hands. Next day said goodbye to dear Avi. The Daladala guys got into a brawl over me and were yanking my bags around. I was pissed. Then the nasty bus guy tells me my bus is full and I have to go to Njombe and pick up another from there to Songea. I called him a liar. I told him he has no clue about anything.I told him he cheated me. If I bought a bloody seat yesterday why the hell was it full today. How could he run a business. I called him a thief. Clearly I was tired and I hate jerks. But I was proud because I did it all in Kiswahili and he looked like a fool to everyone else because an American woman was giving him a verbal beatdown. I made him give me my money back,. He then put me on another bus and I went around asking everyone how much they paid so I would not get a Mzungu /white person price. I had to move seats since my seat had to be for a married couple. Then the momma next to me had 3/4 of the seat. I was so uncomfortable. These Tanzanian women and their massive asses. MASSIVE. But she also had a bag of food taking up space. So finally rain dropped on my head from above and I had to

> change seats luckily. 7 hours busride.

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>Njombe

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>Reaching Njombe I texted a friend who was there. I knew the wankers at the bus stop lied to me because there were no more buses going to Songea that night. I splurged that night and hung out with Carly in Njombe at the Chani, a nice hostel/hotel that PCV's have made their second home with VCR and all. They have hot showers too, but it was not hot when I took one. We watched the Spy Who Shagged me and ate dinner and drank. It was wonderful. Carly and I talked the night away and the next day we said our goodbye. She also bought me a massive wedge of cheese to take to Songea for John, my old man.

>

>I was rain soaked but caught a coaster bus right when it was leaving to Songea. I loved this ride because they played Muslim songs the whole time. The songs they play from mosque services. I love listening to these songs. 4 hours later I was in my home away from home Songea

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>Songea

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>Walked straight to John's where we ate cheese talked and I slept for hours. We then had dinner and watched many movies. The next day I made the trek back to Namabengo. Of course the DD men all missed me and I was harassed for hours waiting for the dd to leave. These guys were trying to sell me watches and I said why should I buy a watch if you will just tell me the time for free. Poor guys. I started to ask people for money "Naomba hela" making fun of them when they ask me. Me and the mommas were entertained with my mockery of them harassing me. In case you did not notice, I have become more cynical here.

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>Namabengo

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>Home sweet home. I was ready. My neighbors noticed my lock off my door and the kids came and bombarded me with hugs. I missed them tons. Termites, my enemy, ate through two of my books. I was pissed off that my bookshelves were not ready yet.I tried to wash some clothes before the water turned off. I fell back into my Namabengo schedule and ate late, stared at the sky, slept in my bed and loved it. The next day not so much. It was a holiday and I played with the kids. They pissed me off and I kicked them out of my house. The cooks of the school harassed me and compared me to Tom the volunteer before me. The father of the kids had returned and he scolded them for giving me a hard time. I had a teacher's meeting the next day. I scowled at the kids when I saw them. The meeting was boring. They tried in English and then reverted to kiswahili. I shut myself off at that point. The meeting was useless and no one talked to me. They were impressed that I could open a coke bottle without an opener or without using my teeth. They all think that since I wrote "Ms. Victoria Mathew" on the sign in sheet that I am a "Master of Science"…HAH!!!Upon coming back I found my kids sitting on my front porch making many little vases out of shampoo caps and filling them with flowers. They placed them all on my windowsill. Bless them. These kids are my joy. The next day they came in and swept for me and we went for a walks and we made mango cobbler. It rained like cats and dogs and I told them I would love to bathe in the rain but that I could not so they went and bathed in the rain for me. The cooks of the school came buy to harass/chat with me and I made them chai while they looked at my pictures. My neighbor next door killed a snake and I picked it up and threw it at the kids. I did this for a while. My shelves came much to my pleasure. I now have two bookshelves and a kitchen counter. I am so happy.Every day I scrape down termite trails. I HATE THE WANKERS! I washed my clothes and harassed the kids who watch me by throwing water at them. I even took a pair of jeans and wrung them out on top of someone's head. I know I am cruel, but I am tired of them watching me!!!THEY LOVE IT I KNOW THOUGH! So I went to Songea for a day and went shopping, went to the bank since I was wiped out, did a little e-mail, had dinner with volunteers in town, drank, ate meat!!!, saw John, started on this e-mail, and went back the next day since I had a meeting to clean my lab. Too bad my dd was too full and had to go back to Songea and I was 2 hours late for my meeting. I guess I am becoming Tanzanian…they are never on time. I went back to find a rotting carcass of a massive lizard in the lab. My department head figured injecting it with formeldahyde would work to preserve it and I had to clarify that he was wrong. I scraped its maggot infested body off the table and cleaned my lab. It is a beauty. My Department Head is awesome and I think we will be fine together. He is young and a progressive thinker. He is also a teacher because he loves to teach. I am really lucky. So then the next week school began (last week). But not really. Students were only trickling in. Those that came were made into little slaves by the staff and cleaned and did shamba (farm) and yard work. The teachers did nothing but talk in Kiswahili the while time only addressing me every once in a while making fun of me and the fact that I don't believe in corporal punishment. My Department head and I chatted. I told one woman teacher we needed to do aerobics together and she agreed. The only other woman has breathing problems and is a no go for aerobics. The remaining 14 are all men. I told my second master I am tired of hearing about Tom the old PCV who was there. So I spent the week holed up in my lab because I would rather be there alone and day dream then to be in the staff room and feel like an outsider. The cooks tried to tell me that since my b-day was coming up I needed to buy everyone sodas, make rice, and bake them a cake. This pissed me off because they only see me as money and that I can afford such things. I can afford such things which is sad but who the hell are they. They don’t do jack for their own birthdays why should I. Then the neighborhood kids (not my neighbors/angels) harassed me and called me MzUNGU/Muhindi and I was worried they were gonna teach this to my little neighbors who are the only children never to call me these names. I chased them away. My little children saw how upset I was and yell at these dirty village children and tell them to call me "Teacher","Mwalimu""dada Vicki" not Mzungu. Bless them. Then on Thursday the men took me to the farm. I think the Headmaster told them they needed to talk to me more.Too bad, I witnessed the beating of 6 students within a 10 students within a 5 minute. I could not take it and went home. These kids were just late. Why do you need to whip them? The kids and teachers all laughed when I walked away because they knew my dismay. The next day was my birthday. I came late to school. The teachers were late every day and I never was. I already finished my schemes of work I could do what I bloody want right? So I made fudge for my little neighbors and brought a cake to school for the teachers. They don't deserve it I know, but whatever I did it anyways. The cooks asked for their coke and rice. I told them too bad, I forgot. I left early and hung out with my little kids who loved the fudge. My headmaster then had a special car come and get me and take me to Songea to celebrate my birthday. I guess he has some redeeming qualities…we will see. In Songea I met up with 15 of the voluneetrs here (VSO, Peace Corps, JJKA) and we had a buffet dinner and they blew up balloons and gave me a kiddie snooker ball set. It was really lovely. Too bad my foot was infected and I could barely walk let alone go dancing as planned.We then went back to John's and watched more movies. A wonderful b-day evening.Yesterday I shopped, talked with Alicia loads, got a phone call from mom, Vivian, and Amy rfom Baltimore, and made homemade ravioli. Kate called me this morning. Poor girl did not use a calling card...I fear for her phone bill. Calling cards are super cheap..really!Now I frantically finish this novel so I can run to town, e-mail it, and go back to Namabengo to start on preparing for "Classes" tomorrow. God, I hope I have classes. I need something to do at that school.

So there you have it. I guess this is more like a journal. I miss you dearly. Thank you to those for the letters, e-mails, phone calls, and just thoughts. It will get better I know in my village and at my school. I just need to take it day by day.Breathe another breath.Life is good. I am healthy. Everyone I know and all are healthy. That's all one can ask out of life right?

>Missing you all. Let the games begin tomorrow. Maybe I will teach and maybe I won't. Welcome to the Peace Corps and Tanzania.

>Love,

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>Vicki

PO Box 1104

Songea

Tanzania

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When in Songea via phone 255748632549

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