September 5, 2004

Nine Weeks Post Injury

I’ve missed writing. And now I hardly know where to begin! Give thanks for the sweet Sound of Music song that can get me going again. . . “Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start . . . doe, a deer. . .” Okay, now on with it!

The past weeks have been a long and windy road. I’m in Denver again, having arrived here last Tuesday, the 31st. Once again, I feel so much peace and joy when I’m here, a true sense of belonging and home.

August 14-19: Indianapolis. I arrived on the 14th from Denver just in time to make it to my youngest nephew’s “White Coat Ceremony.” Blake, 23, is just beginning medical school and Indiana University has a time honored tradition of inducting each new class member with their first “white coat.” Seeing Blake “all grown up” and heading towards his life purpose was such a blessing. He’ll be the third generation physician in the family, following his father and grandfather. As I arrived at the Murat Temple from the airport, my older nephew, Brad, 25, met me, all dressed up in his Marine Corps uniform, hat and all! He carried himself with such a strong and confident presence, having just finished the first phase of his Commissioned Officer training in Quantico. He graduated two nights before Blake’s ceremony. I am so proud of these young men, and to really see them as young men, finding their way and purpose and direction in the world is awesome and inspiring.

On a completely different note, yet one filled with happiness, I finally got my laptop fixed! After two years of having an LCD screen problem, I spent two and a half hours on the phone with Dell (give thanks it was even possible!) and the next day, a technician was out to the house and fixed the problem!

Peace Corps Washington called me on the 18th to tell me I’d be medically separated on the 21st. Expecting the decision, I still cried. While I’ve become more comfortable in saying goodbye and experiencing closure over the years, I still felt grief, all the while knowing that once the healing process continues and I remain focused on returning to Jamaica as soon as Dr. Misamore medically clears me. The timing is still unknown, one of the most unsettling aspects of this awkward time. I don’t do “being in limbo” well. You know, not being able to plan, not knowing where to go or what to do. With this analytical brain of mine, I have mentally created every scenario possible. What if. . . .it takes me six months to a year to heal? Would I wait that long? Do I need to find a job right now? Will I go further into debt to cover my living expenses? What about my space and belongings in Jamaica? The work to be done in Jamaica? Where will I live during this period of limbo? I’m sure the decibels of my mind’s monkey chatter exceed OSHA’s safety standards (Occupational Health and Safety Agency). Thank heavens, I’ve had friends to listen as I’ve struggled to accept the “not knowing” and to make sense out of all this.

August 20-27: A last minute surprise flight from Indianapolis to Maryland. Dana called just days before, asking me to fly out to be with her, her husband Ale and their two and a half year old son Leo as she was about to give birth to their second son! It was all quite surreal and fabulous. Dana is the daughter of my very dear friends David and Carolyn. I met Carolyn when she was 8 ½ months pregnant with Dana over 29 years ago! Carolyn’s two week visit was coming to an end with no baby in sight. I arrived Friday about noon, Dana, Leo and Carolyn picking me up at the airport. Dana, like no one else I know, makes pregnancy so sexy! She looked great in the cutest, tightest, strapless lime green, white and yellow dress. She and I took a walk that afternoon and by ten pm, called the Birthing Center since her contractions were strong and regular. By then, Carolyn postponed her flight. Long story short, Paolo arrived at 5:16 am Saturday morning and I was there to witness his birth, my first one ever! Oh my heavens-it was so beautiful and God bless Dana, she delivered without any drugs! Carolyn and I brought Leo to the Center about 4 in the morning and he was so excited to meet his new brother. This is one of the many gifts I’ve received because of my broken bone. Carolyn flew home Saturday afternoon and I stayed for the week, cooking, doing laundry, running errands, going to Paolo and Dana’s appointments. It was all so sweet.

While there, I took the redline Metro into Washington and dropped off three forms with original signatures to Peace Corps, getting the ball rolling on my close of service. There’s a very prescriptive procedure of paperwork, forms to fill out for medical bills that now will be paid through a workers compensation claim with the U.S. Department of Labor, completing a Description of Service, arranging for a physical and dental exam, yada, yada, yada. I’m grateful my close of service date was August 21 and not July 18th for many reasons. Physically and emotionally, I’m in a better space to handle it. For each of the first three or four days post separation, I spent two to fours on the phone, getting information, understanding what needs to happen, etc. . Each week since then, I deal with phone calls and emails and correspondence to put all the pieces together.

What feels so funny is that ultimately, I’ll be reversing all of this, hopefully sooner than later, as I heal enough to request reinstatement and head back. Once again, I’m learning to live in the paradoxes of life and just keep going down the road.

I do have a few certainties in all of this. That I see Scott, my handsome physical therapist every other week and I see Dr. Misamore monthly. Both are in Indianapolis, a challenging place for me to be without having a home or community of friends around. After talking with Peace Corps about my medical care and how changing physicians will complicate payment, I’ve decided to continue my care in Indianapolis. No question, the healthiest place for me to be is Denver, which led to book two back-to-back flights to and from Indianapolis and Denver. Fortunately, one was already paid for, the flight that was cancelled back in July, and the second one I nabbed for $206!

So. . . give thanks! I’ll be in Denver for all of September, barring 36 hours when I’ll fly back to see Scott! I’m basing myself at Kevin’s yet in the six days I’ve been here so far, I’ve stayed with Gloria and Stacy and Erik. I have so much to be thankful for . . . the time with such dear friends, the chance to review all my finances and personal business, time to spend with Kenna Lee and the list goes on. I need and want to spend a lot more time journaling, as I know this time will come to an end and I want to capture the lessons that are presenting themselves.

And very cool news . . . my shoulder is healing so well that I can now drive Lilith with her manual transmission! Okay, how many people name their cars? I think it’s a woman thing. My dark green 1997 Toyota RAV4 is Lilith, stored in Gloria’s garage in Colorado Springs. Another notable indicator of my healing process is that I changed the sheets on a full size bed all by myself! Yes, slowly but surely, I heal. I received a second massage from Mary in southern Indiana a week or so ago, and will see Borden each week I’m here in Denver. I’m absolutely convinced that their gifts of healing speed up my recovery process, along with diligently doing my four sets of exercises a day. Scott added a few news ones to my repertoire last week. Dr. Misamore and I looked at my x-rays and the bone looks beautiful to us! It’s clear the fragmented part has reattached itself and as Scott said, “It would take something ballistic at this point for it to be damaged,” thus, opening the way to push the physical therapy. Dr. Misamore said I was ahead of the game on my strength, and just a bit behind on my range of motion. Again, time does heal and I’m catching glimmers of a light at the end of the tunnel. My hope is to return before the end of the year and I’ll know only on a month to month basis. I see Dr. Misamore again on October 6th.

Another HUGE blessing and sign of progress is that I started running again! Dr. Misamore said no problem and Scott gave me a bit of advice and a few things to look for. I ran for the first time in MONTHS last Wednesday at Washington Park, a full loop around the two and a half mile perimeter. With the exception of working out on a recumbent bike at Dana’s for five days, my workouts have been minimal. I’ve lost a lot of overall body strength and tone and trust that my running run will help get me back into shape. Not only does physical activity make my body feel better, it clears my mind from all the monkey chatter and cobwebs.

In the meantime, here in Denver, I’m working on the proposal for my Jamaica project, in correspondence with my supervisor at UWI’s Department of Community Health, M.P.H. program. Classes begin tomorrow and I’m just about finished with a list of resources that she’ll distribute to the MPH students on Tuesday. I’m focused on getting this grant proposal together and garnering whatever support I can while I’m here. While the entire proposal has a price tag of about $35,000US, priorities are to raise ~$10,000 US to get each of the 500 children from the three Woodford schools down to Papine and into FISH, a medical clinic for a complete physical (dental, vision, hearing and medical). The next priority is to raise about $2500US to purchase the health education curricula for the teachers and students from the Caribbean Food and Nutrition Institute. I’d be thrilled to get those pieces pulled together while I’m here. And once again, I’m blessed to be surrounded by people who share my interests and values. . . while waiting to board my flight to Denver, a man near me, smiled, said hello and asked if I was heading home. Hard to believe how that question stumped me, or the simple question I get a lot, “What’s your address?” Anyway, he’s the Vice President of International Programs for ProLiteracy Worldwide, an organization dedicated to literacy, health, peace, poverty reduction and social justice to name a few. He changed seats to sit by me and we talked the entire time about our work and values. He wants me to send him a copy of my proposal! Best case scenario, his organization would fund portions AND Lynn could connect me to other organizations that would be interested. On top of that, Borden connected me to Ben Allen, an Evergreen Colorado Rotarian responsible for international programs for the Evergreen chapter. Ben and I hit it off immediately and he invited me to come to the Rotary Club meeting last Friday morning. In addition to Ben, I met two other people committed to international service work and will continue dialogue with all of them to see what kind of partnerships are possible.

AND a very cool thing happened after my presentation to the Colorado SOPHE group during my first stint in Denver. (SOPHE stands for the Society of Public Health Educators, a national professional organization.) I shared my project with the ten folks that came for the meeting and at least one gift has already been given! Lynnette Olds used to work for Denver’s Hall of Life, an interactive museum designed for K-12 students. The concept is that the children go with their classmates go to the Hall of Life at least once every year and have a hands-on experience of learning about age-specific health issues. While funding problems have all but closed the doors to the Hall of Life, Lynnette contacted her former supervisors, asking if some of the health education models and materials could be donated to my project and the answer is a resounding YES! Is that cool or what?! I’ll pick those up while I’m here and either take them back with me or see if I can find someone to donate costs for shipping.

I’m very aware of how I’ve become lost in my own forest, surrounded by dense trees and thick brush during this time. Meandering my way through this healing process, I’ve been led to Caroline Myss’ book, Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, a beautiful book that deals with deeper issues of healing processes. She speaks of seeing illness or injury from three perspectives, Tribal (external), Individual (internal) and Symbolic (archetypal). She’s been a compass in leading me out of the forest to a meadow in which I can gain distance and perspective. I can feel a significant, positive shift in the past four or five days and feel more infused with hope than I have in many weeks. From her book (page 37) “. . . Whether we are healed or in the process of healing, we will always need a community of loving friends and family—a community based not solely on wounds or neediness but also on shared interests and emotional nurturing. Healing does not represent the closure of the needs of the heart; rather it is a doorway toward opening your heart.”

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Two Weeks Post D.O.I. (Date of Injury)

I write from Tom’s beautiful log home nestled in the hills and green trees of Hoosier forests. If I can’t be in the lush, greenness of my Jamaican Blue Mountains, at least I can be in the palm of Mother Earth here in southern Indiana. Moments of peace again. Out of Indianapolis. Out of the city. Back to the country. Trees and rolling hills are all I can see from my chair, through the wood framed sliding glass door and beyond the deck. Healing music caresses my body, mind and spirit as I continue to come to grips with new realities.

I began writing this before noon. Now it’s after nine in the evening. Like my thoughts, the sentences are chopped, scattered, stopping and starting, fragmented. It seems to take a lot to get it together.

Body, mind and spirit. Slowly, healing comes. Slowly, my bones meld. Give thanks, the xrays taken this past Friday show, again, the bones are in the right place and no surgery will be needed. Only time. I had my first physical therapy appointment (with Aaron) and have begun my own exercises, three or four different ones, sets of 10 to 15 four times each day. I am happy to move my shoulder again, even if in small ways. I’m encouraged by the progress made these past two weeks. The swelling is gone, the bruising is well, hard to miss. It weirded me out when Erin told me the bruising was from the blood loss of my bone, not from any muscles or tendons. I just don’t think about these things too often to remember that, duh, blood flows through everything in our bodies. He’s saying that my muscles and tendons are okay. How he knows that, I’m not sure yet I trust. I’ll return in another two weeks, a month post injury when the majority of the bones will be healed. His frame of reference for bones to heal is typically between 4 and 6 weeks.

Besides adjusting to the actual injury, discomfort and limitations it brings, I’m also adjusting to simple being back in the states, with so much of everything. TVs, electricity, hot water, I feel quite out of sorts, out of time and out of sync.

I picked up a book at the library last week, “Writing to Save Your Life.” The first exercise is to explore fear. What am I afraid of? Being disabled. Being alone. Being dependent. Being still. Being inactive. Being a burden. Being angry. Being sad. Being unsettled. Being in other peoples space and not my own. Being “disconnected” (physically and now with limited internet access at Tom’s). Being “out of control.” Being displaced. Being “homeless.”

I arrived here at Tom’s Saturday afternoon after my first week at Mom and Dad’s. I am so not used to being with people 24/7 and face challenges and choices at multiple levels. I hardly know what to write for this online journal anymore. That I went to the library? That I’m happy to take warm baths on an almost daily basis? That I’m confused? That I receive so much love and support from my friends in Denver? That I cry? That I postponed my trip to Denver? That I miss my PCV and Jamaica friends a lot? That after each interaction with Peace Corps Washington and conversations with friends and families that different decisions and directions are needed and taken? That I have good days and not so good days? Isn’t that life for all of us? Perhaps my daily gratitudes?

Yesterday, Saturday:

- For Mom and Dad driving me to Tom’s place in Ninevah, Indiana.

- For the steady rains that’ve made the corn grow six feet high this early in July

- For helping Tom and Tammy to give Sadie, the neighbors beautiful dog a bath with Clariol’s Herbal Essence shampoo

- For the healing energy and unconditional love of Sadie and Tammy’s dog, Parker

- For the porch swing of solid oak and the wooden glider on the back deck

- For a wonderful evening with Tom’s friends Steve and Carol. The more I talked about Jamaica and the work I was beginning to do, the more excited and energized I felt, reminding me of the great needs that exist

- That I can write in my journal and on my laptop. Praise God!

Today, Sunday:

- For the phone calls coming from friends

- For the fresh strawberries, blueberries and raspberries

- For the walk with Parker

- For a day of beautiful weather, cool temperatures and sunny skies

- For God’s grace

- For music and candles and quiet

- For time in the porch swing

I know, this all shall pass and I’m focused on a speedy return to Jamaica. That’s my goal and hasn’t changed since I’ve left despite so many questions and, seemingly, shifts in direction. God is at the helm, that’s all I know.

Saturday, July 11, 2004

My Life is a Buddhist Sand Painting

While I’ve never personally witnessed the very sacred process, I’ve learned a little of the process that Buddhist monks go through to create spectacular, colorful and intentional sand mandalas. Elders train the monks for this special work over long periods of time. When the mandala is complete, a prayer service is held and the entire work of art is raised and released into the wind, symbolizing the importance of detachment.

I can’t think of a better metaphor to describe my life right now. After a year of ups and downs, of creating the most perfect site assignment, combining the Woodford school based health education program with the University of the West Indies, Department of Community Health, Master’s of Public Health program, of feeling settled and hopeful, whoosh. . . a mysterious wind arises and at first glance, appears to have blown it all away. Deep down, though, I feel like I’m not done with Jamaica. The needs are so great and as challenging as it’s been, I want to be back as soon as I can.

So where do I even begin? I have felt so loved and supported by so many people from the moment this happened, I know I’m not alone in this process even though I feel so separated from my Jamaica family. I write this from Indianapolis, Indiana after being “medically evacuated” from Jamaica on Wednesday after breaking my upper left humerus on Saturday, July 3, 2004. The break happened on the top right side of the bone with another fracture through the head. Imagine the bone going into your shoulder, the top rounded part that fits right into the ball and socket joint. Imagine the top rounded part as the face of a clock. Imagine a line going from about 1:30 to 4:00. That approximates the break. It took until Wednesday for decisions to be made on what to do and I’ve been in a state of shock and stupor, besides pain, ever since it’s happened. Thankfully, the pain lessens every day.

The ER doc and orthopedic specialist in Kingston both said surgery would be needed. Peace Corps policy is that surgeries requiring general anesthesia require treatment in the states. The Kingston orthopedic surgeon said general anesthesia would be needed because the injury is so high. So . . . I talked with Bill, my brother-in-law, an M.D. in Indianapolis and he knows an orthopedic specialist who ONLY works on shoulders. He was able to see me Thursday morning and gave me the surprising news that because the bones are aligned, surgery is not needed! Great news indeed, yet confusing because I wonder if I needed to be medically evacuated after all. He said adult bones take 8-12 weeks to heal completely, definitely putting me over the 45 day period that Peace Corps has for volunteers to be well enough to return to post. As I understand, if a PCV is “medically cleared” within 12 months, they can request reinstatement to country. Two things have to happen- 1) the country wants the PCV back and 2) a job is available. I see Dr. Misamore this coming Friday. He’ll do another xray to be sure the bones are still aligned and I’ll have my first physical therapy appointment.

What happens in the meantime is what is unknown. As you can imagine, I’ve been in such a raw state of pain, shock and stupor. Grief-the sudden sense of multiple losses, being away from my friends and community, not being able to begin the “work” that I was so ready to kick into in August. I say work, because at this point, it was becoming play, doing what I love with a community of people I know and trust and love; not being able to say goodbye to my Jamaica family, leaving so much behind, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Denial-not wanting to believe this has happened, denial that this could mean being separated from Peace Corps. Anger-why did I fall the way I did? Being completely out-of-control. Why now? Tearful-the physical pain, the stress, the love and support. All the uncertainties. As much as I want to continue plans to go to Denver on the 17th (Doc says it’s okay, yet I’m not sure if I have the energy to figure out logistics-driving, where I’d be staying, etc.), I’m just going to take things one hour at a time.

God works in mysterious ways and I’m grateful for my friends of Spirit. Ellen wrote, “There is purpose in your injury. Think of the 13th Century Chartres Labyrinth. .. the path leads us to the center but not in a straight, rational, linear fashion.” And funny that yesterday’s reading was in Ecclesiastes, 3: 1-8- For everything, there is a season . . .

I know the key right now is healing and minimal stress and motion. Other questions that circle through my head -- Where do I live? For how long? Who will help me? How do I support myself? What health insurance and benefits are available? How long will I need help? While my family’s home is Indianapolis, it’s not mine. I’m unable to return to my home in Denver since it’s rented and I don’t have income to pay the bills. I know it’s not time to make to decisions yet I want something known. I want stability. I want strength, I want peace and healing. And, if this past year didn’t prepare me for something like this, I don’t know what could’ve. Patience, perseverance, faith, trust and love.

I’m just zoning a lot, doing a lot of nothing. How hard is that for this frenetic being? Thank heavens, I have full use of both hands and I can use the computer keyboard. I’m having a hard time settling in and settling down. I spent yesterday with my sister, sat in the sun by her pool which felt great. I went for a walk with Becky and Bill and that felt great as well. Tom (my brother) has called me every day. There’s a strong chance I’ll go to his place in the hills of southern Indiana next week and stay with him for a week or so after that.

I guess I’m just in the early stages of re-creating another beautiful sand painting.

Good news-the hike was fantastic, the group that went was terrific. The bad news, I took a really hard fall and have done some serious damage to my left shoulder. I've been at the ER since 1 today, now at Peace Corps with the nurse before going back to see the orthopedic specialist in another hour or so. I'm so ticked, yet these things happen and I'll make the best of it.

I know I'll be laying low the next several days and with Digicel's intermittent service, I'll have limited access to the internet and email.

I've been in a lot of pain since it happened around 3:00 yesterday and was grateful to make it back into Kingston. We were so far into this remote and spectacular area that we had no phone signals. We stopped hiking about an hour after it happened, camped for the night and headed out this morning about 8. I couldn't have been with a better group of people and everyone was so helpful and supportive.

I'll write more as soon as I can, yet just wanted to give you the update.

Friday, July 2, 2004

Awesome News about My Site!

Guess what?! I’m going to be formally assigned to the University of the West Indies, Department of Community Health, MPH Programs! It’s a longer story than what I have time for this morning, yet suffice it to say I am absolutely thrilled! Alicia and I met with Professor Desmalee Nevins, the Coordinator of the MPH (Health Promotion/Health Education focus) to work out details. This was after the introduction by Professor Brendan Bain.

I sat down the other night and used a “mapping” technique that I learned about years ago and that’s when I could see all the pieces coming together and it’s awesome. I’ll be working with the MPH students, doing some teaching, getting as many as are interested involved in the Woodford school-based health education project, etc. The fit is awesome, in that I’ll be able to write grants fairly easily and what a great organization to be the recipient of the funds. Alicia and I left feeling very excited and I asked her if we needed to set an appointment with the director of the Southeast Regional Health Authority just to check out one final option. She paused and then looked at me with the message all over her face and in so many words said, “Are you nuts? This is as good as it gets!” We both smiled and said, “No, guess not.”

So, I wrote up a TOR (a common phrase down here for Terms of Reference), basically a “contract/job description). I had drafted one back in early May so it just took a few hours to modify it and I emailed it from Peace Corps to both Alicia and Mrs. Nevins. We just have to get a few papers signed and the deal will be closed! I’m aiming for July 10 just to have this resolved before I head to the states. Then, I’ll come back in early August ready to jump right in. I’m blessed, too, because it’s just a 20 minute walk from Papine! There’s an NCB bank office on campus and overall, I think it will simplify things in a big way. My commute time will be reduced tremendously, plus I’m hopeful to be able to run on campus and enjoy some of the other benefits of being on the campus.

THAT is definitely the biggest news of my week.

It rained here for 40 minutes nonstop yesterday. We need the water so bad. Feels a bit more humid today. I’m heading to Brea, Angie’s and Brian’s in a few hours. We’re gonna make mandalas tonight and tomorrow morning, a group of about 15 of us are going on a hike from Port Maria to Robin’s Bay. I don’t have a clue either, except to say it’s on the north coast and apparently a well preserved section with good hiking and views. It’ll be a combination of hiking, swimming in the Caribbean Sea, sleeping out and hiking again on Sunday morning. You should see my “camping gear”! It’s hysterical. I’m taking 4 yards of clear plastic table covering as my ground cloth, my thermarest pad and two twin flannel sheets! Oh, I do have my backpacking hammock. The folks I know that are going are really jazzed and it’s going to be a great way to get to know some 73ers before they leave, a great way to enjoy the full moon and just a chance to have some fun. I’m packing marshmallows and ginger crackers for a Jamaican version of a s’more!

Internet access has been goofy. Just a short note for now and more next week. And Happy 4th of July! God Bless the U.S.A.!

Monday, June 28, 2004

Only Two More Weeks Till I’m “Off Island”

A slow, quiet morning. The sun is a veiled by a thin cloud cover, an unusual event these days. We’re definitely in a hot, dry spell, evidenced by water lock offs in several communities around the island, dry rivers on either side of this mountain community and by the crispy, brown grass even up here at home. Clifton keeps saying, “This is not my time of year.” The contrast to the wet season is remarkable. I keep trying to understand how droughts can happen here when so much rain falls between September and December! More lessons about economics and living in a developing country. Simplistically, it’s about resource distribution and the challenges faced by a country with very limited and inadequate resources. The things we take for granted at home! Water. That water will come out of the faucets when you turn them on. That the water will be clean and safe and even fluoridated. The blessings of living in the United States continue to come to me.

The water issue came up at last Wednesday’s Woodford Community Action Group meeting and I won’t be a bit surprised if they take this on as their next major project once the Homework/Learning Center is up and running. There are two rivers on either side of the mountain/s surrounding Woodford and Maryland. Both are at drastically below normal levels. The amount of rain that fell in spring (April-June) was less than normal, not a good thing as we head into the hottest, driest months of the year. The water catchments above Woodford is too small for the amount of people living up here and the numbers continue to grow AND the catchment itself, probably a concrete block container, has a leak in it. I was talking with two other PCVS over the weekend and water’s been turned off in two communities, north near Port Antonio and another southwest near Treasure Beach. One reason seems to be people not paying their water bills, yet the water’s turned off community wide, so even those who do pay their bill have no water. Another reason is the drought itself.

I’m frustrated again about my access to email. Digicel’s service has been really goofy the past several weeks and my wireless internet is unpredictable at best. That puts me back in the position of having to carry my laptop back to JAS for modem access, if I want to use Microsoft Outlook. I’ll be very happy to come back here with a memory stick so I can carry all my files on that small device. Hopefully things will work themselves out soon!

Only two more weeks till I’m “off-island”! I I’m very excited to make this trip “home”-first to Indianapolis to see family and friends, then on to Denver where several gatherings are in the works. I’ll be there for almost two full weeks!! Yippee! Oh, I can’t wait to hold beautiful little Kenna Lee in my very own arms!

I had a nice day Sunday, joining the Jamaican German Society for another “hash”. Hope, Karen and I got a ride to the hike site, about an hour southwest of Kingston. The trail that was set for us took about two hours to finish and was it hot! It was so nice when we hiked in a dried up river bed because we were shaded nicely by the trees. There was a moment on the trail when I said to the woman in front of me, “Ah, give thanks for walking in the shade right now, the sun being behind the clouds for a moment and the breeze.” She turned to me and said, “You’re a glass half full kind of person aren’t you?” What a sweet gift she gave in that moment. It was nice to catch up with Hope, too. Since I don’t go into JAS as regularly as I used to, I don’t see or chat with her as frequently as I used to. She moved in with Karen a month ago and really loves the new space, even though it’s tugging on her budget.

I caught a ride back to Kingston with another hasher, Andrew, who kindly dropped me at Super Plus (grocery store) in Half Way Tree. They’re about the only store that stays open till 6 on Sundays so I picked up a few groceries, walked down to Devon House, treated myself to a Pralines and Cream ice cream cone and connected with Clifton for a ride home about 7:45. It was so hot even then that my ice cream was dripping to the pavement within two minutes of leaving the store! It was a very pleasant day.

I came home and made a collage from cutting up old magazines, ribbons and sequins to mail to my “friend” Beverly, who’s just started her Peace Corps experience in Namibia, Africa. Even though I’ve never met her, she’s a friend of a friend and I can only imagine the isolation of a Peace Corps experience there, especially since she’s going to a country that’s never had Peace Corps before! I also read Kristin’s recent online journal entries, another friend I’ve never met, she’s in Botswana and her description was very vivid, “It’s like I live in a sandbox.” She said it’s like being on a beach, but there is no water anywhere. Including her pipes. Wow. Certainly puts a lot of things in perspective. Here I am all bitchy and moany about not being able to access email every day when she can only get to it once a month. Get a grip, Janis Elaine!

While I don’t have a lot scheduled this week, the most important part will be responding to Brendan Bain and the SERHA director to finalize my site assignment. I do have a lot of work to do-finish my quarterly report before I leave, the Woodford Community Action Group meets now every Wednesday. I’ll be making flyers to post around the community to advertise the Learning Center and to raise awareness, interest and participation. Need to work on the JAMAL training scheduled for July 6th, connect with CFNI on the curricula.

I’m very excited for the weekend already! I’ll head to Brea’s place on Friday and a group of us are going to hike from Port Maria to Robins Bay. It’s the same stretch that Brian hiked the weekend I hung out at their place. He showed me his pictures and I was absolutely gorgeous. I got a text message from him yesterday and he’s seeing how many folks are interested in an overnight trip. With it being a full moon, I’m definitely up for it. I bought something close to graham crackers yesterday, along with some marshmallows. Brea said she has a jar of some amazing chocolate spread and there’s nothing like s’mores to bring smiles and create memories. I told Clifton all about s’mores on the way home and guess what?! He’s never roasted marshmallows let alone had s’mores! Sounds like an evening waiting to happen!

Okay, it’s about 10 am and I’m still in my nightgown. Time to shower, get dressed and figure out what’s next. I think I’ll head into JAS and do some computer work, post these entries, on to a workout at Raphael’s and then to my women’s group at 7. A nice way to start the week.

I've been trying to post an entry for two days and am not having much luck! Bear with me. Another experiment in the works. . .

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Ah, Finally Feeling Better

I’ve been feeling under the weather for three+ weeks and praise God, I’m finally beginning to feel my energy come back. First a sinus infection, then some tummy stuff, then tonsils covered with white spots. I broke down last week and went to the doctor since I knew I needed an antibiotic. The heat’s been coming on strong as well, so between everything, my energy level was in the toilet, same with my appetite.

Interesting things with my project continue unfolding and, while there are more pieces to this puzzle, they’re coming together in wonderful ways. Let’s see, in two weeks:

- I met with two of the five principals of the mountain schools I’m working with. Talked to them about 1) identifying potential teachers and students for the Woodford Learning Center (classes begin)in September and 2) their interest in implementing a health education curricula focusing on nutrition and physical activity. The response has been fabulous. I return to the two schools this week to review the entire set of curricula and work with the teachers to determine how many students will need workbooks and at what grade/reading level. I asked a lot of questions off an MOH questionnaire designed to assess behaviors and was blown away again when I asked, “How many children have been involved in a fight in the last four weeks?” The principals basically laughed, one saying all of them, the other saying about 80%. When I asked how many of those fights involved a weapon, they asked if pencils used to stab each other counted. Hello. I can imagine the look on my face. Needless to say, I learned a lot in those two visits and look forward to visiting with the other three principals this coming week.

You’d think I’d be beyond being shocked by now, yet I was blown away when I stepped into the two schools. One poignant moment was when Ms. Campbell gave me a tour of the Seventh Day Adventist School. Imagine a space the size of three double sized garages next to one another. With the exception of old, battered, and well used partitions, it’s basically a one-room school. She used her hands to show me the sixth grade, about two rows worth of maybe 12 desks. We moved to the left and she pointed to two more rows of about 8 chairs. “This is the 5th grade.” And then we stepped to the left once more, she pointed to the next two rows and that was the 4th grade class. The partitions separated the younger classes from each other and the “library.” I’m keeping on ongoing list of needs that eventually I hope will turn into a grant proposal. I’d also like to see how SOPHE and its members could become involved in the project as well.

- I’ve contacted the United Methodist Church, Congregational Health Ministries in New York. I had been trained as a regional consultant back in the late 90’s and the resources they have are phenomenal and I think could be easily integrated into the schools here. The lines between church and state are far less stringent than in the states. No word back from them yet, but I hope I’ll hear soon and that they’ll mail me the resource notebook I left behind.

- I’ve contacted University of West Indies, Department of Community Health and am slowly making progress to meet the Chair, Professor Brendan Bain. With no response to my email to him. I contacted his assistant, she called back saying he was very busy with two conferences and “maybe later.” She did say to call her back again last week. Well, instead, I walked from Papine to the campus on Thursday and met her personally. She asked if I’d heard from him yet. That was encouraging! She said she knew he was interested in speaking with me and that I was on his list of “things to do.” And, she gave me his personal cell phone number. That is definitely progress! I left a handwritten letter telling him I want to talk with him about the MPH program and the school-based community health project I’m working on.

- Met with Pat Thompson, a woman with years of experience in health promotion and nutrition. She’s been involved with CFNI and the MOH initiatives. We gabbed for quite awhile and I came away with more ideas for the Woodford project and clarity about the MOH school survey project (probably a good idea to pass on that one for several reasons).

- Went to two Woodford Community Action Group meetings two evenings this week. Construction is continuing nicely on the Learning Center despite some pretty major financial fiascos that are working themselves out. Issues of cost estimates being substantially under actual expenses. Happens everywhere, eh?

- I stopped in and met the Executive Director of FISH (Foundation for International Self Help)-it’s a comprehensive medical clinic right in Papine and did we hit it off. When I told him about the Woodford Project, he put his pencil down and said our timing was quite coincidental- he was just in the middle of writing a grant to provide more health (vision) screening to another set of school children. He and his staff did vision screening for over 400 students of 6-12 impoverished schools and over 30% of the children needed glasses! Needless to say, we gave each other a lot of ideas and support. Instead of my just taking height, weight and BP of all the school kids at the beginning of the next school term, I’m motivated to find ways to get the kids down to his clinic for an even more comprehensive medical screening. Clearly, transportation becomes the big issue-how do we get his staff up the mountain and/or how do we get the kids to the clinic? I shared a bit with him about the mobile clinic wellness model supported by JICA (the training I was part of last January and February) and think there are some good linkages waiting to be re-tapped.

- Gerardo also said he wants to revisit PAHO’s Healthy School Initiative sometime soon-I’ve kept him up on what I’m doing and I think it’s fitting with some of his goals and objectives.

- I have an appointment on Tuesday with Rachel, the young physician who’s been working on an immunization project with PAHO and the MOH for the past six months and the woman at the Ministry who’s in charge of the project. Rachel would love to have me take over the work she’s doing and/or help them get an experienced Peace Corps Volunteer (MPH) onto the project. I’ll probably attend one of the immunization trainings (working with Rns and midwives) to get a better sense of the project and needs.

It’s helpful to write all this out, as sometimes it still doesn’t feel like I’m “doing anything” yet I can I’m planting the seeds and with time and nurturance, I’m hopeful much will grow. I think it would be really good for me to get myself affiliated with some type of an agency and office. Having company and being able to brainstorm things together is really important to me and while I like working from home, sometimes I spend too much time alone which isn’t a good thing. I’d love it if Professor Bain and I could work out an agreement for me to be housed there. Another alternative is with David Wilson and FISH. And/or with PAHO/MOH, although the university and FISH are in a much more convenient part of town.

On top of those things-

- My taxes are done! I signed, dated and mailed the hard copies to the IRS about a week ago.

- The AG Edwards fiasco is finally finished with checks safely deposited in PERA. Six long months, yet it’s finished!

- Coordinating my trip home! Fly to Indianapolis July 13th, on to Denver July 17th till the 29th, and then back to Indianapolis till August 5th. As you can imagine, I’m very excited to make the visit and see as many friends and family as I can. Gosh, I’ll be leaving four weeks from now!

- I had a very fun day at Lime Cay yesterday. It’s a very small island, about a 10 minute fishing boat ride away from Port Royal. Went with Preston and Kelly, two PCVs from Group 73 who are leaving in the next two months. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Preston a bit more in the past few weeks and yesterday was the first time I’d really spent any time with Kelly. The sun was hot, the water felt sooooo good and cool. We drank a few Red Stripes and just hung out. It was one of the best days I’ve day in a long, long time.

Monday, May 31, 2004

More “Firsts”- My New Friend Alex, the Monkey!

It’s a warm, sunny Jamaican morning. The silence is golden. The scent is burning wood. The man across the deep ravine behind our house has been building a new home and he’s burning off a bit of bush. I just finished two huge loads of laundry, a welcome relief since the washer’s been broken for three-plus weeks. One more load tomorrow and I’ll have all fresh, clean clothes. My dirty clothes basket has never been so full! And do I have a new appreciation for fabric softener! The smell of mustiness permeates most of my clothes on an ongoing basis. And today, my body feels really heavy and I have a bit of a headache. I’m hopeful it’s from my recent workouts at Raphael’s and my walks/runs up da ‘ill to Woodford and beyond. I’ll stay home today until mid afternoon when I’ll head into town for a workout and then to a women’s’ group. My PCV friend Jamie Fletcher went for the first time two weeks ago and she said it’s a great group of professional women.

So, have YOU ever painted a monkey cage at a zoo? Once again, this adventure is bringing more and more “firsts into my life! Mel, a PCV assigned to the Kingston Zoo, organized a service day yesterday. The greatest needs? Painting the monkey cage lemon sherbet and the dove/pigeon cage morning glory (a beautiful bright baby boy blue). About 10 of us showed up at noon-the zoo is only two bus stops west of Papine and Clifton dropped me there on his way into work- and spent several hours “working”-it was much more like play to me!

Alex was a trip! When we approached his round, concrete cage, he was happily eating a mango, a favorite treat. The bottom part of the cage was a concrete wall, three, three and a half feet tall and had never been painted before. I took a four inch wide, paint filled brush and began painting along the uppermost edge where the wire caging began. Alex, whose face was about three inches wide and four inches long with deep brown eyes, put his tiny little fingers through the cage and somewhat chased the brush as I moved it back and forth along the edge. Richard used the roller brush near me and we both just talked to him in a soothing kind of way as Mel told us he got a bit frightened and overwhelmed by the energy and excitement of the children. He was so relaxed, he started to “talk” to us! A combination of coos and ee, ee, ees. What a joy!

Okay, hold a minute. I’ve got to move. I’m in my rocker, under the orange and mango tree, in the shade on Mary and Clifton’s side porch and the bugs are munching on me a bit more than’s comfortable.

Okay. Back again. Still in the shade, now under the breadfruit tree right outside my place.

Alex hung near us while we painted. He was the cutest little thing, each finger about the size of a wooden matchstick. With a small case of scabies that’s going away, thanks to Mel’s application of some skin cream, he’d periodically sit back on his bottom, lean up against the cage and itch himself. Then, wonders of wonders, Mel passed him an “Ants on the Log” and he was in monkey heaven! Are you familiar with ants on the log? I’d never heard of it till Sunday-a few raisins on top of peanut butter in celery. Not fond of raisins, he picked ‘em off and flicked ‘em to the ground. Yet he LOVES peanut butter! He held the celery lengthwise at his mouth and with his tiny, tiny tongue and even tinier teeth, scrapped and licked the celery clean. I never did see him eat the celery. . . Needless to say, we all had a good time supporting Mel and her project. I can’t help but to compare and contrast what I see here with what’s at home and it’s hard to write about the differences. The signs for the animals were 1/2” thick ply board, painted white with the animal names hand painted in black. The good news – Mel’s written a grant to the National Wildlife Foundation and new funds are coming for renovations and educational programs. She has a background in field biology and zoology, so this is a perfect match for her. Oddly enough, it wasn’t the first site she had yet once the switch was made, she’s been really happy and successful. These service days are great for so many reasons, working physically with tangible results, seeing other PCVs projects and socializing with other PCVs. A very enjoyable day indeed.

And last week, oh my. I had four good days in a row! That’s another first! What made a difference?

- Hiking to Hollywell with Amy, Nick and Preston last Monday. I always love having company up here and we had a fun time hiking the two or three hour trek. Once we got there, we played Kings-on-the-Corner (God bless Granny!) and just had a fun day. Being a national holiday (Labour Day) we only waited about 20 minutes for a taxi to come by and pick them up. (The holiday is dedicated to community service projects). Not more than five minutes after they got in the car, the rains came pouring down. It was part of the same system that has left Haiti devastated.

- Talking with Brother Tom for over an hour Monday evening! Voices, the simple joy of being able to hear voices, is such a blessing.

- Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with this JAS Employee Handbook. Robert and Ian gave me their edits, I met with Robert on Thursday and now have enough information to finish the edits and scale back the literacy level. As we met, I told Robert my other project was gearing up and I wanted to wrap things up with JAS by June 1 (yes, that is tomorrow). He understood and we also talked about how I always want to maintain an affiliation with JAS and he said he really wanted that as well.

- Having a very good Spanish class just as I’ve been wondering if it’s worth it for me to continue. The good news is my vocabulary is definitely expanding and I’m learning more verb tenses-preterit, commands, gerund, present and past perfect.

- Meeting with Godfrey Xuereb, a Public Health Nutritionist with the Caribbean Food and Nutrition Institute (CNFI), a specialized center of the Pan American Health Organization. I called him Tuesday at Gerardo’s recommendation and we met the next day! I love it when things happen like that. We talked for two solid hours about CFNI, its projects and services. I described my background, my vision for the Woodford project. I really went to see if they had a tested and evaluated curriculum that I could implement in the three Woodford schools. Sure enough, they have teacher training guides and student workbooks (for a cost) and he sent me home with about 20 pounds of resources, including an entire set of everything! While the project was actually piloted in Jamaica, Belize and the BVI (British Virgin Islands) have institutionalized the curriculum. So. . . I’ll be working with him and CFNI’s evaluator to get myself ready to train several teachers here in Woodford a few weeks before the school year begins. We also talked quite candidly about the relationship between CFNI and the MOH, the different opinions about curriculum. MOH had suggested a WHO, Olympic Aid, Five Rings project that looks very good. Its focus, however is more on competitive sports and I’d like to implement something that addresses health, nutrition AND physical activity.

- Godfrey also showed me a new initiative called Healthy Eating, Healthy Living, a nutrition program geared specifically for PLWAs (people living with aids). The formal launch is September 1-3 in MoBay and he counseled me to participate in the launch. This project could link me back to JAS in a meaningful way.

- Networking with the Department of Community Health at UWI.

- Having breakfast with Gerardo on Thursday, gabbing about our professional updates and challenges.

- Getting my hair cut Friday morning. Sandra was great and the woman who washed my hair could’ve kept doing that for hours! She cut at least five inches off, did a bit of long layering in the back so it’s still long enough for me to pull up, braid and/or leave down. It’ll be so much easier to wash and the heat is only increasing here.

- Meeting with Mr. Courtney Edwards, of JAMAL Foundation, an organization that trains teachers on literacy and preparing students and adults for GSAT testing (GSAT is a placement test given at the end of the 6th grade). I learned so much about what needs to happen to train the teachers who’ll be teaching at the Woodford Learning Center beginning in September.

- Taking an evening walk up da ‘ill on Friday and having Dino drive by on her way home. We gabbed, she picked me up and came back here for tea and crackers on the porch. She vented about a contentious contract negotiation she’s dealing with and I told her about my meetings with JAMAL and CFNI. It was the first time I shared my health education vision with her and she had lots of good ideas on how to create buy-in from the teachers.

Suffice it to say, I’m feeling more hopeful than ever before. I’m thrilled to be establishing relationships with these great individuals and organizations, finding ways to creatively collaborate and of course, looking to the future for potential job or consulting opportunities.

I went to a Woodford Community Action Group meeting last night and came home with even more enthusiasm. I tell you, being associated with Dino is definitely easing my way. When I asked the members, several either teachers, principals or parents, how much was being taught on health, the response was, “not much.” When I shared my vision and CFNI’s work and before I could even finish, one younger gentleman, Chris, said, “Oh, you want to teach healthy lifestyles? Yes, the kids really need that.” So. . . a great beginning and I have two notebook pages filled with things I need and want to do, ah, the makings of an Action Plan in a big way.

I give thanks to God for continuing to sustain me and guide me. I feel like I’ve turned another corner and, as I said to Clifton the other morning, I know I’ll probably bump into more walls along the way, yet passing over or through them with some sense of grace is all I pray for. And speaking of Clifton, he’s invited me to meet with his school principal to do a half day training/seminar for the teachers and student leadership as a kick off to the school year. I may do one similar to the Leadership Workshop I did for Great Lakes SOPHE back in September of 2001.

So, I’ll close for now and finish up the needs assessment for the sexual assault debriefing and get myself going for the day.

Wednesday, May 25, 2004

Kev, My Keyboard Is Connected!

Kevin gave me a keyboard last fall and now it’s connected. I’ve been using my computer so much lately that the tendons between my second and middle finger on my right hand have become painful and swollen.

I’ve had two good days in a row. Networking, networking, networking. And I’ve heard a few things in the past day or so that feel significant, and funny, each one is only a sentence or a question.

“Ah’lo”

“Hello. This is Elaine. I’m a Peace Corps Volunteer and Dino recommended I call you about a hair cut.”

“Yes Elaine. Do you have Caucasian hair?”

Okay, that stopped me for a minute. I mulled it over for a nano second. Caucasian hair? I’m not sure what Caucasian hair is. Yet, if she means hair that is different from a typical Jamaican, then yes, no doubt, I have Caucasian hair.

God bless her, she’s giving me a “Peace Corps discount.” The appointment is Friday morning at 10. I’m ready to part with at least 4 or 5 inches. The heat is coming on, my hair gets really dried out and as long as it’s long enough to pull back in some way, shape or form, I’m ready.

Second moment of perspective. I’m waiting for a taxi for about 20 minutes this morning. A morning that I’m more vested to be “on time” than others. The taxis coming down between 7 and 8:45 am are “full up.” And I mean that. More people in a coaster van than raisins in a box. I got out by the gate closer to 8:30 than I would’ve liked and I ended up waiting till 8:50. Rasta Joe was heading up, so I hopped in the coveted front seat for the ride up to Woodford. It only takes about 5-8 minutes (when I run it, it takes about 18 and a half. Everyone packed themselves in like sardines in a can and down we went. I asked the woman next to me and Joe if they’d heard about the floods in Haiti. Joe says, “Those poor people. They have suffered for two hundred years. Why do some people bear so much?” I sat there speechless.

How different the views can be depending on the seat you’re sitting in.

I was motivated by a 9:30 appointment with Godfrey Xuereb (pronounced Schu-reb), Public Health Nutritionist, Caribbean Food and Nutrition Institute (CFNI), a specialized center of the Pan American Health Organization/World Health Organization. He is a colleague of Gerardo’s and did we hit it off! We gabbed for almost two straight hours. I told him about the Woodford Learning Center, my dream of establishing a tested curriculum on chronic disease/obesity prevention, linking to the MOH’s Healthy Lifestyles initiative and way –la! He shows me an entire test of curricula, nutrition, physical activity and health in general. He loved the idea of me doing a “train the trainers” – assuring me I could do the training next week if I had to – for the teachers of the three schools I want to focus on: (Woodford All Ages/St. Peters Rock Christian School/Woodford 7th Day Adventist School).

We talked quite candidly about the relationships between CFNI and MOH and also found common ground with Elizabeth’s interest in surveying the 72 New Horizons schools. He definitely sees how his organization could benefit and support the initiative, and I was thrilled to find out it would fit their needs as well. He also told me about a Nutrition and HIV/AIDS training that will be launched on Sept 1-2-3. It’s going to be in Mo’Bay and he extended an invitation. Now there’s a wonderful connection for JAS, possibly for another Peace Corps Volunteer to step into as well.

So, I have some work ahead of me. I need to find out how many teachers and students each school has, ages of students, number of students per class. etc. That will come in handy for activities that can be added to the Woodford Learning Center later down the road. If the schools agree, I would do a two day training for all the teachers before the new school year begins. What I like about the curricula, is that it INFUSES health education into the existing curricula rather than creating an entirely new subject that has to have its own test and as Godfrey said, “Its own celebration with a certificate.” Something to that effect. I think I still have something to learn there. From there, I would avail myself to each of the schools as a “consultant” available to work with them at least twice a month. I would also meet with them to identify what educational resources they need and if they have computer labs, see what needs they have there and see if an IT Peace Corps Volunteer could be assigned. I could set this up for sustainability, document my processes, create an organizational history and have that serve as an orientation for whoever may come in when I’m gone. Kewl! I can begin to see it happening.

So, I still could make a dent on gathering the behavioral risk factor surveillance data from the 72 New Horizons schools. That would be a collaborative between the MOE, MOH and CFNI. Godfrey said the data Elizabeth is looking for is more than what CFNI needs. So. . . . a beautiful joint venture is born!

Now I need to put some structure to all of this and begin to get sign offs. Godfrey said he’d be happy to if needed-he had a good point, I need to see if an organization affiliated with the UN is eligible to apply for a volunteer. That brings me to next connection. Remember last Friday’s entry? About connecting with the Chair of the Department of Community Health? Well, the department (I will take pictures) is right next door to CFNI and Godfrey felt that would be the best place for me to be “formally.” There is a copy machine, computers and phones. And even a small Health Education Library. I immediately got the idea of linking this little library with SOPHE. If each SOPHE member took one text book/resource off their book shelf and sent it down here, oh my goodness. Cynthia is in charge and is going to check into ways that we could minimize the shipping costs from the states on down here. Hummm…… wonder if these kinds of expenses could be part of a grant.

As you can see, I’m REALLY beginning to get excited. Having the freedom to be creative has, and always will be, so important to me! I stopped typing for a moment and let out the biggest, deepest breath. Yes! I feel strong again, like I’m figuring this out after all.

By the way, Joe ended up driving me the short distance from Papine to the eastern entrance of the University, yet it saved me 20 minutes of walking. From there, I walked and I was only 10 minutes late. I told Godfrey that I was looking for an office space to have collegial connections as well as access to a computer, phone and copier. The paperwork, policies and protocols that CFNI has to follow is rather cumbersome, which is why he recommended getting me over in the Department of Community Health. I could still go over to CFNI and use their library and office space, etc. That’s one option, I can also talk with Dino about being affiliated with the School of Social Work, Physiology and Social Action. That’s the navel of the Woodford Learning Center activities.

Either way, if I could have University privileges-library, computers, etc., I’d be in hog heaven. Plus, I could come and go with ease.

I stopped for lunch at a cafeteria next to one of the dorms. We ate there a few times during orientation and the JICA training. Curry chicken, boiled pumpkin and cooked callaloo. From there, I walked to the University entrance, and because I was carrying probably 10 pounds worth of CFNI documents, I hopped a $30J taxi ride from there to Papine. I hung out with Jerry and Owen Robinson, some of my regular taxi drivers, found out the health center for Woodford used to be at the Woodford All Ages School, yet isn’t happening any more. I also asked who the principal is and Jerry, too, recommended I talk with Mrs. Henry, since the principal is on his/her way out. I’m glad Gerardo prompted me to talk to the principal anyway. I’m sure I’d still learn a lot and of course, I’m curious to find out why s/he’s leaving.

Got home, rested a bit, read the program descriptions for the MPH programmes offered through the Department of Community Health, and then got out for a run. AHhhh. . . between my sinus infection (I feel fantastic) and my schedule with the VCT training last week, my physical activity has decreased. Got to Woodford “plaza” in 18:45, then ran on for another 8 minutes, turned around and by the time I made it home, I’d been out for 45 minutes. The elevation up kicks my tush each time, yet it motivates me because I want to come back home and be able to climb my beloved mountains.

From there, I took a nice warm shower. The rains have slowed up a bit. Please keep all the Haitians and Dominican Republicans who’ve lost their loved ones in the floods in your prayers. We’ve been blessed to have the rain without the floods.

It’s nearly 6:30 in the evening. I’m turning my light out about 8:30 tonight. I’ll be up at 5, head down with Clifton, meet Gerardo for breakfast and then on for a day with several meetings/appointments.

I’ve been listening to the BBC quite regularly. I love keeping up with the news and now there’s a story being told. Off to a light dinner, a bit of organization for my day tomorrow and another good night’s sleep.

Funny, I’ve been remembering my dreams much more lately. Good stuff.

Friday, May 21, 2004

It’s Raining So Hard I Can’t Hear My Music Playing. . .

and it’s only eight feet from where I’m writing! Imagine a smiley here. (Every time I put one in Word, it gets lost in the transfer to Live Journal.) A beautiful, torrential rain pours and pours and pours and all I can think is, “Praise God! And I’m inside where it’s warm and dry.” No wonder the sugar ants have been busy crawling everywhere. Folklore has it that when the ants show up, get ready, it means rain. I have to say I’m a bit fed up with them crawling on my hands and arms. They’re so tiny, you can hardly even see them, yet with that silent sensation of movement, their presence is definitely noticed!

So . . . . . a very full and mixed up week. Right in this very moment, I’m feeling really good, really thankful, rewarded, hopeful and encouraged. The early part of the week was another story.

JAS offered a VCT Training this week. Fourteen of us met each day at the Comprehensive Clinic near Cross Roads to learn all about “Voluntary Counseling and Treatment (VCT).” The training was developed in partnership with Johns Hopkins, is internationally recognized and focuses on risk reduction and preparing folks to take the HIV test. Boris, the Targeted Interventions Program Manager from JAS, led the training. He was one of about 20 Caribbean specialists that edited the course and protocol to assure its relevance to the Caribbean. That was about two years ago and it’s now just being rolled out in Jamaica. No doubt, many more will be trained. For so many reasons. The clinics are so understaffed with the amount of clients . . . you just can hardly believe it. I wish you all could see the clinic-its status, compared to home is. . . .simply incomparable. The good news- there are people out here making a difference, in one way or another. People making what’s here work, community members, health care staff, funding organizations. I respect Jamaicans so much for their ability to persevere in tough conditions.

I was hesitant to take the training and now that it’s over, I’m so glad I did! I met some amazing people, learned so much, gained confidence, heard stories that needed to be heard, saw things that were “unpleasant,” all incredibly important.

Back to the beginning of the week. Post crashing the honeymoon. Angie stayed with me Saturday and Sunday night. She’s an awesome young woman, in her early 20’s, who lives and works near Ocho Rios on the north coast. In fact, up until a week ago, she was working at the JAS affiliate in Ochi. Suffice it to say, she’s not anymore and she’s grown leaps and bounds in energy and enthusiasm since leaving. I loved being around her, listening to how she’s putting her pieces together and she’s definitely on a roll. She flew to Ohio yesterday for a five week vacation, her first time back to the states and she’s going in a really great space. Over the weekend, we hung out, walked up to Woodford and most important, just talked and talked, letting out everything and nothing. Finding a space to just be who we are.

I can really see how each person’s living situation makes a big difference. Angie lives with Brea and Brian (stayed at their place the weekend after IST) and has a chance to vent, process and talk through the happenings of the day. I can see how much that would help. Hope is moving in with Karen in the next few weeks. (Andy ET’d and is heading to India at the end of the month.) I think this week has taught me or reminded me how important it is to have people nearby to talk to, just to make sense of the world and all it offers up, intensely, on a day to day platter.

Between the sexual assault meeting last week, the mad dash trip to Mo’Bay and Angie’s two night visit, I felt really worn out by Sunday. Yet it was an awesome day- the famous Blue Mountain mists enveloped the house, we hung out on the porch, kinda just did our own thing. While I loved it all, I knew I needed some down time. I felt tired, stressed and worn out and a bit blah on Sunday. (I’m getting better at distinguishing the blahs, I’ll have you know.) I woke up Monday morning with the classic signs of a sinus infection, headache, stuffiness and congestion, earache. I dreaded going to the training for lots of reasons, how I felt, not liking the idea of having five, long, full days in a row, dealing with the transportation, logistics and time. I took the 78 bus all the way down Old Hope and Slipe Pen Road, got off and walked three blocks or so to the clinic. The travels all week went very well.

I let Boris know I wasn’t feeling well. By two o’clock on Monday, I knew I had a low grade fever and needed to head home. I planned to take the bus to Papine, yet when I asked a group of women how to walk to the bus, one of them, Sharon, volunteered to drive me to Papine! She was my angel for the day! I had such a good time, getting to know Sharon and Claudine. They both work on a research project about condom preferences for men who come to the clinic. Claudine is a nurse and Sharon has more of an administrative position. Great, professional women and we had a lovely time chatting the whole way. We exchanged contact information and I have a feeling we’ll be in touch. Sharon knows someone who she thinks would be very interested in knowing my background and what I’m doing, and that I might somehow be able to connect to a project he’s working on. The whole week was kinda that way-all about weaving the web and being woven into the web.

I was home well before four and pretty much got straight into bed. (Oh yea, called the Venezuelan Institute, again, to let them know I wasn’t coming to class. I’ve missed class for almost two straight weeks. In part, that I’m having a hard time with the teaching style of the instructor. Clifton recommended I check with the Spanish Embassy or Cultural Institute.) Regardless, I’m sure my fever peaked at about 102 in the middle of the night. I woke up so wet, I had to change my pajamas! (I know, I know, I know what you’re thinking-it was NOT a hot flash, okay?!) By morning I felt a lot better. I knew the best medicine was for me to stay home, so I did just that. Laid around bed, drank lots of fluids and catastrophized. I don’t know about anybody else, but when I’m feeling shitty, I just see the worst in everything. I was in awful place AND I knew I would feel better at some point.

Sure enough, I woke up Wednesday feeling so much better and made it to training for the rest of the week. I’m so glad. Wednesday morning, each of us actually met with one of the forty+ clients that were waiting in “Section 3” – the STI clinic. Of course I was nervous. She was a 19 year old woman, who came to the clinic with her partner. (I only visited with her.) I didn’t realize she wasn’t there for an HIV test until we started talking, oh well. We focused on her risks and ways she could reduce those from here on. You just never know what difference it makes, yet you just trust that you’re one in a line of consistent messages that she’ll receive so one day, she’ll change her behaviors. Flashed big time to Prochaska’s “Readiness of Change” theory.

Thursday we visited the lab and learned about the actual testing processes. They’re using Rapid Finger Prick testing more and more. Overall, it was fantastic. Whether or not I’ll ever actually do it, I’m not sure. It’s given me lots of ideas-like finding out about the health clinic that serves Woodford/Maryland. Duh. Can’t believe I haven’t checked into that since I’ve been here. The important point is that now’s the time, not before. I received so much from so many, in subtle kinds of ways. Da’Reon’s encouragement and support in doing the role play, Erica telling me to get out there and do it (I told her a bit about my background). She’s a bright, young woman, I think with her Masters degree and she told me about all kinds of opportunities for “foreigners.” She whips out the Gleaners’ classifieds and shows me a job announcement for a Lecturer in Community Health in the Department of Community Health and Psychiatry at the University of West Indies, (UWI-Mona)! I could hardly believe it!! Then, check this out . . . four hours later, same day, I’m sitting in the Peace Corps office, UWI’s Community Health Department webpage is open in front of me, I’m looking for some contact information and the young woman sitting next to me, a former Peace Corps Volunteer, says to the person on the other end of the phone, “Yes, I’m trying to connect with the Director of the Department of Community Health and Psychiatry.” Whoa. I sat there and looked over at her and when she hung up the phone, I said, “This is really bizarre. We’re both looking for the same person at the same time.” Long story longer, she finished her Jamaica Peace Corps experience a year ago and returned to the University of Maryland and is working on an advanced degree in anthropology. Her department chair is very interested in working on a research project focused on community health. Needless to say, she and I were both stunned and, to no one’s surprise, some major networking is happening. Yes, I feel Gods hand in all of this!

Today, I feel infused and intrigued and hopeful.

Amy, another young 20’s PCV, also did the training this week and today she and I spent more time chatting. She’s come through a tough situation and now she’s getting herself realigned. Interesting, about the same timing as Angie. Hum….. I was so touched when Amy told me that her mother and sister are working to adopt one of the three children from a family she met working for her project. Not surprising, the kids are in a bad way and it’s so cool to see how loving Amy and her family is. Karen, too, is working to take one or two of the children in her Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVC) group back to the states with her. Not so much on a permanent basis, yet to share her life in Michigan with one or two kids. I’m so inspired when I hear and learn more about some of the really cool things other PCVs are doing. And I’m reminded how good it is to be around folks to hear of struggles and successes. The beauty of others motivations, giving, creativity, perseverance is inspiring indeed.

I’m getting a good response back from the sexual assault needs assessment, men and women, and tallying them as they arrive. On behalf of our core group, the information will guide the agenda for the June 11th debriefing. I feel really good about contributing to this important initiative. I want to send the report out on Tuesday or Wednesday, so we’ll have two weeks to mull it all over and figure out the agenda.

What else was beautiful about the week you ask? I didn’t carry my computer one single day! And lunches were provided so in ways, life was a lot easier this week. After talking with Mark, I need to get a memory stick. That way, I can keep all my relevant files on me in a little device that’s about the size of a butane lighter and not have to deal with, “is the newest file on my laptop, a disk or somebody else’s computer.

Anticipation grows for the next group of volunteers to arrive. It’s almost like sharks waiting for the bait to arrive. Wondering, who’s coming, why? What will they be like? When will we have a chance to meet them? Amy’s thinking about throwing a welcome party! What a wonderful idea. Hummm, perhaps I could have an open house as well.

Okay, that’s it for now. The rain has stopped, Allister’s dogs are barking, the crickets are cricketing and the candles are glowing. Off for a bit of warm soup and time to catch up on emails.

Thursday, May 6, 2004

Post IST

Group 74 went to the north coast last week for our IST (interim service training). It was a full week, at many levels and very, very meaningful.

Two women, Hillary and Judith, from Women’s Media Watch led several days of discussions about gender issues in Jamaica. We learned more about Jamaica’s history, the impact of slavery to values related to reproduction, economics and education. Which would be more valuable to the plantation/slave owner? A physically strong, strapping man or a physically smaller woman? I’d had guessed the male, since they’d be able to provide the needed physical labor of planting, harvesting, etc. Interestingly enough, it was the woman because she possessed the plantation owners’ future labor force. Ah ha, links to sexuality, reproduction and economics, much of which is still perpetuated. We talked about power, cultural differences, various roles of men and women, education, violence and sexuality. It was mesmerizing, captivating and challenging and SO important in understanding this place a little bit more. By far, it was the best training I’ve attended. Part of what made a difference was having “counterparts” attend and share their perspectives, experience and knowledge of Jamaica. Counterparts are Jamaicans who work closely with PCVs.

Several optional sessions were offered-something a bit new and different. Kriya led singing and we even did a few Dances of Universal Peace! Krissy led early morning yoga classes on the beach, Mark and Ian and Jon shared some incredible computer technologies (Open Source software) they’ve developed and are implementing in schools. I offered a mandala workshop on Tuesday evening. I was prepared for anything-no one showing, only two of us (Kriya promised me she’d come no matter what!) and guess what-sixteen participated! In true Peace Corps fashion, I used Mark’s leatherman to saw indentations in each of the six white pastel pencils I bought and used the needle nosed pliers to cut each pencil into thirds! And a huge thanks to Christi, for the pad of black paper. We had enough supplies for up to 18 of us! Being with everyone was so special and we connected with each other in such a different way, slowing down to share who we are in a creative, sacred space. While I figured we’d need at least 45 minutes, we actually spent two and a half magical hours together.  The beauty and creativity that appeared on everyone’s mandala was spectacular and meaningful. If it’s meant to be, I’d love to do more of these kinds of workshops. Judith wasn’t able to attend and wants to talk with me more about doing this for a women’s group she’s part of. Speaking of women’s groups. . .

Eight of us women, with Alicia, met at the end of Tuesday and talked about our responses to the February rape of “Sally.” Finally - a chance to vent our emotions, reactions, concerns and ideas! I felt so much relief and appreciation. Channeling all that energy into something creative and positive has been so healing and wonderful. We really feel/felt the need to be heard and so, the following morning, we met with our Country Director, Safety and Security Officer and Alicia to offer our perceptions, needs and recommendations. After a bit of a rocky start, we all laid down our defenses, we heard their perspectives and they heard ours. By the time the meeting ended, I felt like we’d been heard and reached a greater place of understanding. I’m hopeful more meetings and changes will happen as a result. What a tough situation for everyone and I really honor everyone’s willingness to get some of this out in the open. I volunteered to record the gist of our discussions and just today, sent a synopsis of our discussions to everyone involved.

When IST ended, I headed to Brea and Angie’s place, about a 15 minute taxi drive east of Orcabessa. About eight of us converged there for two or three days, hung out, read, watched movies, cooked a few meals together, talked. They have a large, open (no grills!), covered patio with lots of roomy porch furniture and a hammock. Steep concrete stairs led straight down to the sea where we jumped straight in to either cool off or snorkel. No sandy beach at all, yet beautiful and refreshing. It was a perfect way to decompress after a full, meaningful and tiring week at IST.

An update on the HR project I’m working on at JAS. I gave a draft “JAS Employee Handbook” to three key staff members to review-that alone felt great. In my opinion, we definitely need to get outside experts to review it and make sure it follows Jamaican laws. I’m also gathering/creating all the job descriptions, creating a consistent format and just yesterday, I began retyping 30 job descriptions that I’d scanned into Word. (The computer with the previous electronic ones crashed up several months back.) I’m creating a list of all the information and documents at need to be in each employees personnel file. It’s a painfully slow process, and depending on my headspace, sometimes it feels incredibly tedious. However, it’s something that JAS really needs and wants and I feel good about making some tangible difference. The process alone generates attention and focus on these issues which haven’t had a whole lot before now.

Update on my other projects. Since things with the Ministry of Health seem stalled, I’m moving ahead to create my own project. Last Sunday evening, I walked from up, up ‘da ‘ill 40 minutes to the Woodford Community Action Group meeting held at the St. Peter’s Rock Christian School. The community members present met to review the EFJ grant funded project and it was a great way for me to get to know them and what the project is all about. Fortunately Dino Shillingford is continuing to take a strong interest in getting me plugged in.

I’ve been reading several documents, including community needs assessments written by Dino’s social work students and the actual grant and have been ruminating about how to create my own Peace Corps project, integrating goals and objectives of the EFJ grant, goals and objectives of the Ministry of Health's Healthy Lifestyles Initiative and research and initiatives of the Caribbean Food and Nutrition Institute (CFNI) , a Pan American Health Organization affiliate focusing on obesity, nutrition and physical activity for the entire Caribbean region. At this point, I need to network a lot more and find out what options exist. I shared some of this with Alicia at IST and she’s very supportive and feels like it’s an even better situation than if I worked for the MOH.

Long story short, the Environmental Fund of Jamaica (EFJ) has funded a Homework/Learning Center for four years. If I understand things correctly, the EFJ resulted from a relationship with Canada, who loaned Jamaica a bunch of money. Instead of having “Jamaica” repay the loan, they offered an alternative payback by having Jamaica invest the debt into community grant projects. The Woodford Learning Center project will be funded for four years, for about $16,000US per year, and is just now beginning. I’m cutting and pasting the next part directly from the grant. “The goal of the homework project is to increase the human and social potential/resources of the community. The project components include:

• An literacy programme to assist those with the need to read and write

• CXC English and Mathematics will be offered to assist those who are experiencing difficulty in passing these subjects

• GSAT English and Mathematics will be offered to assist those in need of extra lessons

• A library service offering access to high school text and other reading material

• An Economic venture is an added component to ensure payment of utility bills and the purchase of material as needed. This will include:

- An internet café to introduce internet services and motivate persons to use this facility. Persons will be charged a small fee. Cable and wireless is being approached to offer free internet access

- Photocopying services for which persons will be charged a small fee”

As you can see, the primary focus is on literacy. The center will be located in Woodford plaza, an add-on space to a currently existing shop owned by the Richardsons, who attended the meeting. I'd love nothing more than to get up and walk 25 minutes up the mountain to my job! Among the many things that need to happen before September, the building needs to be finished, curricula purchased, Center Director hired, set up the computer lab, identify students to participate and identify teachers. I’m going to jump in and help out as much as I can, Dino wants me to serve as the Center Director, yet I think I’m more interested in serving in a quasi Acting Center Director role until one is hired later this summer. Then I’d like to shift my focus on implementing health education classes as the new school year begins.

I also want to offer up some fun, creative and health related programs for the kids up here this summer. School will be out soon and Mary says there’s really not much going on up here for the kids. I’m trying so hard to integrate my personal and professional aspirations and want to find a way to give something back to my profession as well. I’d love to be able to publish something on all this when it’s all said and done. I know I’m a real dreamer and there’s a lot more ideas going through my head than anything at this point, yet there is such potential. I could also see having this turn into a big enough project that perhaps another PCV could be assigned up here. (Group 75 arrives in July.)

More news on the mountain-Joe went home yesterday. We’ve had three more people leave in the last three weeks. It always fuels the grapevine, that’s for sure.

I need to go. It’s after noon already and it’s time to get cleaned up and head down the hill. I want to get to PC this afternoon and my Spanish class is at 4:30.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Granny was born 104 years ago today

It’s been nearly two full weeks since I’ve written an entry to post. It’s been a full and challenging few weeks and I’ve been feeling very emotional. So, in ways, I’m even more challenged to continue my writing.

Travel to and from Treasure Beach was heavenly! Karen, Mark, Hope and I met in New Kingston, on Thursday, April 8th, prepared to take the bus to Spanish Town, another bus to Mandeville, a taxi from there to Junction and another taxi on in to Treasure Beach for the long holiday weekend. (Good Friday and Easter Monday (my birthday) are both national holidays.) The cost averages about $450J (Less than $8US total) and takes about four to five hours. (I’ll not talk about how long it would take in your own car!

Patti advised me, “If you can get a charter for $5000 or $6000J, split it between you, you’d be doing really well.” So . . . $5000 divided by four equals $1250, A LOT more than taking option one. Well, the 21A bus to Spanish Town passed us by and a taxi guy drove up, asking us if we needed a ride,

I went up to his window and said, “How much would you charge us to go to Treasure Beach?”

He looked a bit wide eyed and said, “Today? Now?”

“ Yea.”

“ $3500.”

I turned around, told ‘em what Patti had said and in minutes, we were going to Treasure Beach with Matthew, just the four of us for $875 apiece.  Happy, happy, happy.

Then, on the way back from Treasure Beach (Tuesday, the 13th), Buday and his friend, Kriya (pronounced Crea), who surprised us the night before my birthday, drove Hope, Mark and I back to Kingston.(Karen stayed on for an HIV/AIDS presentation at a school an hour northwest of Treasure Beach. What an incredible lesson in balance.

Birthday was fantastic, awoke early after staying up till 3 a.m. singing and talking and listening to Kriya sing and play a guitar. I put my black suit and green and black sarong on, walked from Shakespeare’s Cottage to the beach and walked on the beach as the sun rose. A cool, quiet part the day and I was happy to feel the sea breeze in my hair and the sand squedging under my toes. For over an hour and a half, I just basked in the quietness and soaked in turning forty-five. It feels like a big one, the biological clock and all. Another corner turning. . . . I’m not sure if it’s that and a whole bunch of others things, yet I’ve been a bit weepy ever since. Becky and I connected on Messenger on Monday and I think we agreed that I have all the qualifications to serve as a Crying Princess in the court of the Queen of Tears! It felt good to smile and laugh.

I walked in the sea for the cool water to wash the sand gently off my shoes and feet. I made my way on the sand and stone path, with the most beautiful flowers and foliage all along it back to the road to Shakespeare Cottage for a cup of Blue Mountain Coffee. Back to the beach with my backpacking hammock and a few more hours of swinging in the shade a bit back from the water. Pictures at the tree at sunset, dinner at Jake’s, thanks to Karen and Hope, an entrée of curried shrimp (okay-I’d love to try my own version some time!), a glass of merlot wine and a dish of ice cream. This was a real splurge, nearly $1000J. And Patti had cooked a homemade chocolate cake that was to die for!

On a whim, Buday and Kriya came back with me to my place and stayed two nights, till the 15th. It was a very special few days, filled with honest conversations, sharing of struggles and the celebration of spring and renewal. The connection feels so good. Kriya sang peace songs to Buday’s school children several weeks ago when she was here for another visit. The kids really responded and she came back to do more. The fun part is that we’re both familiar with Dances of Universal Peace! She has a repertoire that is so deep and she helped me remember so many fabulous songs. What a gift it was to sing again!

Friday is a blur. I think I may have stayed home the entire day.

Saturday, Buday and Kriya came to my place, we chatted a bit more about logistics of her program with Karen’s kids at C.H.A.R.E.S., an OVC (orphans and vulnerable children) group of children. I headed to Peace Corps, got a good run in, hung out with Brea for a bit, made it to Super Plus in Liganeau and headed up the hill with Clifton around 7. Sunday was scrumptious-I stayed at home the entire day! I cleaned the floors-the think the Maybug invasion is coming to an end. I cooked (oh yea, I defrosted my refrigerator the night before I left for Treasure Beach) a quiche, some papaya chutney corn muffins, some rice, lentil, callaloo soup.

Oh, it is so quiet right now, it’s unbelievable. I can hear the river to my left, it sounds fuller than it has in many, many months. Apparently we’re gearing up for a rainy season. I hope it will be nothing like last fall! I think it’s shorter, more like May-June. The afternoon rains are beginning to be much more frequent and regular. The smell of the earth is even earthier than it usually is. Here’s a humidity in the air and I’ve seen some amazing sets of clouds drift hither and yon down the slope of one mountain, filling in the void below, then sets of more mist, touching closer to the top of the surrounding mountains. I can hear the orchestra of insects, lightly playing their wings against one another.

On Sunday, I finally sat down with all the documents Gloria pulled together and mailed me and began working on my taxes. Whew! By today, Wednesday, I had all my questions answered, thank goodness for internet, Laura at CSECU and Gerry, my accountant! They’ve been great to work with and after I took the rather thick, golden, 9 x 11 envelope to the Papine market. I kept looking at this one woman’s scale, she asked me if I needed something. I said no, kinda of hesitated, then said, “Yes, I need something weighed.” “Whachu nee’ weigh?”

So I pulled the envelope out to find out it weighed about 8 ounces! Joe and I had guessed 3 or 4! Then I got onto the United States Post Office website and could calculate the cost in postage. Fortunately, my friend Rick had sent me a book of US stamps, so wa-la! My taxes are at Peace Corps, waiting to be picked up and taken to the U.S. Embassy and all mailed to Washington.

I’ve spent a bit more time in the community close to home. Joe and I took a great, long walk last Friday, oh yea, that’s what I did! and I meet some very cool people. A young group of gals were at one of the shops, picking black, shiny beans out of a pod. I asked what they were doing, got down and just sat with ‘em and I found out they were making castor oil for their hair. I told ‘em I wanted to come back up and have them put it in my hair and this one, Faye, laughed and balked and pointed over to Sharon and said she could it cause she’d done Mrs. Shillingfords before. As we chatted, Faye asked me if I was a journalist. I asked why she wondered that and she said, “well, because of your camera and book.” I’ve just started a new journal, a gorgeous, black leather one that Jennifer from CDC gave me before I left.

The gals and I had a grand time, they let me take their pictures and then Joe and I headed on up da hill for several more adventures-stopped at the next shop and tasted real tamarind candy; on up the 7th Day Adventists Hill and on around towards Rasta Mark’s, a friend of Joes. He has the most amazing garden up there, parsley, scallions, corn, tomatoes, pimento, rosemary, beans, it was awesome. Once again, I feel how much I miss doing the things that ground and center me. We stayed for a while, then stopped in Freetown, down another dirt road, grabbed a beer and a Smironoff and headed on down da ‘ill towards home. It was getting toe be that time of day where the shadows and greens deepen. I’ll write more on those two stories later. It was a fabulous day.

Sunday evening, Joe and I walked down to the Maryland Community Center for the launch of the Maryland Youth Club. I finally had a chance to meet two UWI social workers who’ve been doing community development work in the area. They’ve done some needs assessments and program planning and Sunday’s event, complete with a four piece band, Inspiration and Praise, a birthday cake and the place was hopping! It was to serve as a bridge between Bottom Maryland and Top Maryalnd. Apparently, the rifts between the two, primarily young men, have been escalating and someone’s father was reporting murdered somehow in all the tensions. This was probably about a month and a half ago. Anyway, I had a great time, got to meet Pastor Wright with the 7th Day Adventist Church and Mr. Robert Rolf, a staff of SDC (Social Development Committee, I believe), a quasi-governmental agency that funds many community projects. More on all this later.

Monday I made it to JAS, came down to Kingston for Spanish on Tuesday and this week is flying by, too, although as Betty and I shared in the Peace Corps office today, it sometimes feels like we do a lot but end up doing nothing.

Needless to say, life has been full!

Wednesday, April 7, 2004

Beetle Update

They’re called “May Bugs” by the locals. And apparently the little upside down dance is some ancient mating ritual. How they ever actually reproduce is still a mystery to me, considering the dance appears to be a solo and they’re upside down dead before the partner dance begins. I’ll just keep sleeping under my mosquito netting until June comes.

The weekend was quite full-the main events were running with about 2000 others in a 5K race to benefit Leukemia Care, over $1.2 million was raised. That’s about $20,000 US. The race began six years ago, sponsored by a leading brokerage firm and has grown significantly in a short time. The race began and ended at Emancipation Park. The German Jamaican Society folks, affectionately called, “the hashers” had a team together that Hope and I joined. Memorable moments included cheering folks to the finish line after I finished and the fun of actually knowing people who were crossing the finish line! More and more frequently, I see people I know on the streets here and vice versa. My Spanish teacher said she saw me walking on Hope Road the other evening. All that gives me a sense of settling in a bit more.

After the race, Hope and I went back to her place, took a nap, showered and hung out till Claudia, a woman from Hope’s pottery class, came to pick us up and take us to St. Catherine (next parish west of here) for the Hash. Claudia is from Germany, her husband is here working for Digicel, one of the two wireless phone companies. She and her husband have lived in five different countries, usually for two to four years at a time. She has another German friend, Olla, who joined us for the afternoon as well. The hash (hike) was almost five miles long itself, so needless to say, it was quite a physically active weekend. Nice to be out among people and getting to know more folks. I chatted with Canadian who’s lived here for a few years, working with the Canadian Embassy on immigration and migration issues and quality control processes. It’s fascinating to meet people from all over the world to see what their lifestyles are like.

The hash always concludes with special honors, toasts and initiations for first time hashers. It’s all quite fun and silly and the feel of the group is great. A lot of camaraderie and long-term friendships exist within the group. Okay. . . . I will admit that I was “honored” in the circle myself, having the dubious distinction of having sipped my beer out of a chamber pot. Well, kinda sorta! Before the hike, I walked up to the open bed truck, filled with coolers of Ting (a nice grapefruit soda, kinda like Fresca) and Red Stripe on ice. I wanted a beer but they weren’t very cold. I’m thinking, beer on ice, I’ve had it that way before, and it’s okay. Paul, a regular hasher and one of the organizers, reading my mind, asked me if I wanted a cup. I said, “Sure.” He dug inside this cardboard box and pulled out this old, baby pink cup/mug, about 10” in diameter and about six or eight inches deep. It even had a tiny handle on it. After I looked at it with a strange expression on my face, he and I laughed and I decided, what the heck! I put a few ice cubes in, poured in the Red Stripe and bingo, a nice chilled, refreshing beer. So . . . undoubtedly, Paul threw my name into the hat for individuals deserving “special recognition” for the afternoon. That just gives you a glimmer to the fun kind of people the hashers are!

I stayed home until about six on Monday when I actually headed down for Keith’s class. My bod was definitely worn out from the excursion, yet I still wanted to join the class. Even though I’ve been working out quite a bit, I’ve been eating a bit more, later in the evenings when I get home and feel a bit heavy. I did two loads of laundry in the morning, read, worked on my Spanish and did some work on JAS projects.

I found out Petrona’s birthday is this Saturday, she and her sister Sharyn share the same birthday. Isn’t that cool? (Petrona is Keith’s wife.) She said how much Sharyn enjoyed meeting me the day we all went to Hollywell and how she felt like she’d known me forever. Once again, good feelings of making friends, ever so slowly.

The days are beginning to just blur together. I got to JAS about 10 on Tuesday morning, went to Spanish at 4:30 and headed home after that. Another gal from class gave me a ride to the bus stop at Devon House. Believe it or not she (Maureen Claudette) was born in Woodford, the next community up the hill and her cousin owns the house on the other side of road from where I live. We laughed at how small the world really is.

Today’s main event was saying goodbye to Andy. About 10 of us met at Jam Rock, a nice New Kingston bar, to wish him well. He’ll head back to New York, live with family for a few months, get things lined up and he’s taking off for India. I think Andy’s in his early 50’s, doesn’t have a home back in the states and is in a very open place in his life. He’s been in IT for quite a while and I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds a job over there. From what I hear, there’s all kinds of computer/IT outsourcing going over there. He looked great this evening, happy, energized and ready to head out in the morning. He was even counting down the hours till his plane left. He will be missed yet the time is right for him.

Mark, Hope, Karen and I have been in the final throes of trip planning. Looks like we’ll meet in New Kingston tomorrow at 12:30, food and clothes on our backs and begin the four or five hour trip to Treasure Beach. Two buses from here to Mandeville, then two taxis from there on in. Everyone’s been a trooper in letting me do the menu and food planning. With all but some fresh eggs and bread that we’ll get in Junction, we’ll have almost everything else we’ll need. I think it’ll be a good way to eat healthily, have fun cooking together and of course, save some money. I know we all want to eat out at Jack Sprat’s at least once. It’s a casual, little restaurant associated with Jake’s, the very cool, artsy hotel/villa that Treasure Beach is known for. If all goes well, we’ll be there before sunset. Ah. .off to the beach for four days. Looking forward to seeing Patti and Joe out there as well.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

A “Peak” Experience!

Weeeooooo-after eight months of being on the island, I’ve been to the top! Eleven of us made it to the summit of the Blue Mountains (~7400’) on Sunday! Hope’s developed friendships with folks from the Jamaican German Society “Hashers” and arranged for Karen and me to join eight others for the adventure. Funny enough, most of them are Brits working here on two or three year assignments. Along the trail, we gabbed about Jamaica’s culture, how business is accomplished, and shared experiences of handling and adapting to the differences. A woman, Jackie, who works with Gerardo at PAHO, was also there with her small dog, Mayday. My heavens, that little dog must’ve walked ten times more than we did with her short little legs! And we all thought we were tired! Jackie had a French friend with her, who had an American colleague with her. It was quite the international contingency and fun to make new friends.

Fortunately, three of them had 4WD vehicles, a must for the terrain we covered. We left Kingston about 7 am and drove about an hour and a half up to Whitfield Cottage, a rustic cabin that’s the main taking off place for the seven and a half mile hike. And the rainbows! Driving up, we saw two of the most brilliant rainbows I’ve ever seen in my life! One was so close, I felt like I could walk less than a half mile and be right in the middle of it! That was a first. We were prepared for rain and that it did-which made for a hike and trail that was gorgeous and green, green, green. We passed waterfalls and trees covered with hanging moss. The heavy earthy smells wafted by us the entire time. We saw blooming peace lilies, rhododendrums, light green ice-plants and a whole lot more. The trail was nicely maintained and about halfway up, we took a welcome snack break under a gazebo. God bless Gwen, she brought some small French pastries filled with blueberries and strawberries and had plenty to share. At the same spot, there’s a cabin and some tent sites. We paid our $50J (about .80US) entry fee and visited with an elderly Jamaican man who sold us bananas. His lucky donkey got to eat all our peels. After I took a picture of him, he said, “Sumting fa dat?” Instead of giving him what he was expecting, some “silver” as it’s called here, I paused for a moment and went over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He smiled really big and said, “Dat’s good. Dat’s okay.”

As spoiled as I am with Colorado’s dry climate, there’s no way I’d camp with tents unless the weather was dry, dry, dry! Soon after we began, we hiked right into clouds, so a fine, light drizzle covered us. At other times, the rain came down pretty hard. While the fog and clouds socked us in, periodically we had a chance to see some of the spectacular views. We reached the summit in three and half hours, stayed only long enough to wolf down and peanut butter, apricot and peach jam sandwich and began our descent. Burrrr-it was chilly up there! By the time we returned to Whitfield, the sun had come back out and our clothes dried out pretty quickly. Living that Girl Scout motto of “be prepared,” thankfully, I had some dry clothes, shoes and socks to put on. A Jamaican caretaker of Whitfield made us all a few cups of strong, scrumptious Blue Mountain coffee to warm us up as well. We all celebrated the day together before heading on back to town.

I got a ride all the way home and was happy to have a warm shower, some hot tea and nice hot, chicken dinner. I slept really well and woke up to just a few overworked muscles-calves, outer thighs and hip flexors. Despite that, I made it to Raphael’s for two classes Monday evening, figuring it was good to work through some of the soreness.

Saturday was another fun day-Keith, Petrona and Katrina, along with Sharyn, Petrona’s sister and her awesome 13 year old son, Ishka picked me up at home and we drove up to Hollywell for a midday picnic. Sharyn and Petrona went up in flip-flops and were chilly, chilly, chilly. So Ishka and Keith and I built a small fire under the picnic gazebo. As damp as the environment is up there, we found some dry enough wood and had a fun afternoon, snacking and hanging out. So, here I spent two consecutive weekends up in the Blue Mountains!

I did laundry Monday morning, blessed to have the sunshine to dry the clothes relatively quickly. The 2pm meeting with Dr. Fuller at the Ministry of Health ended up being postponed until Tuesday, so I stayed up at home till almost 4:00. After class at Raphael’s, Keith had National Dance Theatre Company practice and he took me with him. It was spectacular, there were four drummers and about 20 dancers, all getting ready for a tour to Miami this coming Friday, then to New York two weeks after that. Just last week, Keith learned he received a lead role in one of the dances and has only days to get it together. I know he’ll do it. The beauty, power, strength and flexibility of these talented individuals are incredible and inspiring!

Friday, March 5, 2004

Wireless Internet at Last!

Wow-it’s really working! While Digicel installed everything a week ago, the service has been a bit shaky all week. However, this morning it’s been working like a charm and here I sit, a beautiful, cool and sunny morning, coffee at my side, in my pj’s, accessing the internet. It’s all quite amazing and a prayer answered. The technology is still somewhat new down here, with varying signal strengths which means intermittent access. As Hope said, “It’s marvelous when it’s working.” So this morning’s been terrific.

I realize that I’ve not written much about the political unrest of Haiti and what it’s like being here in Jamaica. I’m keeping up with the news as best I can, via the local paper, The Gleaner and by listening to local and international news (usually the BBC). I definitely felt a shift towards some anti-American sentiments last Sunday and Monday as information about Aristide’s departure was being questioned, and of course, I had a “walking on eggshells” sensation the first few days of the week. I heard some from a few staff/volunteers at JAS along with some discussions at the health club. And, I’ve also heard/read how some Jamaicans are hopefully that interventions from the U.S., Canada and France will result in stabilization and some economic development opportunities. Sometimes when I think I’m witnessing intense poverty, divides between community and police, community and government here in Jamaica, I can hardly imagine what it must be like in Haiti. The circumstances have resulted in some personal struggles and grappling with issues of political asylum, how refugees, individuals fleeing for their lives, are or aren’t welcomed by other countries. It also makes me realize how little I really know about America’s foreign policy. All I know is I would never want to be in a position to be at the border of our country and deny entry to those seeking refuge. While a bit unsettling, I still feel very safe and secure and continue to trust how the U.S. State Department and the Peace Corps are monitoring our risk level. I know the Peace Corps volunteers in Haiti were evacuated almost two weeks ago . . . some of us wonder if they may be reassigned here.

My focus this morning is on this upcoming adventure to Mo’Bay-my bags are packed and I’ll be heading off soon after lunch. One bus to Spanish Town, another to Montego Bay. I’ve heard it takes anywhere between three and six hours to make it there. Fingers crossed, we’ll be there before sunset.

Now for another first experiment-uploading my journal from word to my livejournal.com address right here at home. Signal strength looks good at this point, fingers crossed!

Yippee! A success!

Sunday, February 8, 2004

Headlines Continued

Back Off: A Different Cross Cultural Experience

I bumped into an uncomfortable situation on Friday, seem to be having a few more of these than I’d prefer. Perhaps the lesson is to learn how to handle them and not get so emotionally invested. The Four Agreements? Don’t take things personally? Sure could use the cliff notes of that wonderful book these days.

A primary coordinator of the training, employed by the Southern Health Regional Authority, asked me to send her an evaluation that she could use for the two week training. No problem. I sent one from the SE Health Promotion Policy Institute and I modified one that would be more specific to her. She used it and added several pages to it as well. When I saw her Friday, I volunteered to take the 12 forms and verbatim, condense all the responses into one electronic document, then forward it to whoever needed it. She deferred me to a nurse who was responsible and she was happy for my assistance. Looking back I can understand that it was inappropriate for a Peace Corps Volunteer to handle the evaluation, yet my intention at the time was simply to offer up several hours of work to an already over-taxed staff. One of the JICA representatives had a strong and defensive reaction, to which I was a bit taken back. At one point, I put both my hands up in front of me, to put some space between us and non-verbally to say, “Back off.” Georgia and I calmly explained what was going on and she calmed down. Ultimately, I am not assisting which is fine.

What bothers me is how I respond internally. Translating it that I did something “wrong”- that I angered someone-that I’m going to “get in trouble” and all that led to a lot of internal, emotional trouble, and feeling guilty and bad. I’ve been feeling this guilt thing quite a bit this week and I really need to work through what’s behind all that. Those old time connections between being afraid of letting others (externally) down and disappointing others. As Hope so aptly said, “Be careful. You’re defeating your joy.” A wise woman indeed.

Oh, Hi Again: I thought I left you insecurities behind in the States

So, here they come again, those insecurities. I could feel it during the reception Friday evening and it’s not a pleasant feeling. Quiet, timid, taking a back seat, insecure. Perhaps part of it is my recent history of being a key organizer in events, like the Health Policy Institutes, where my role was very “upfront and visible.” Here, I was a guest, a faculty member, a chronic disease specialist and a Peace Corps Volunteer, perhaps only one of two United States citizens in the mix of fifty people. Perhaps I’m also touching some cultural boundaries, remembering Fabian’s words of wisdom, crossing cultures vs. clashing with cultures. And I know I fit some of the stereotypes of United States women-being strong/”bossy”, outspoken, opinionated, etc. Another experience of cultural differences stands out to me. I asked a female JICA rep to take a picture of Gerardo and me, and she said, in her wonderful accent, “I take picture. I am good cameraman.” I looked at her, smiled and said, “You’re a great camerawoman.” She laughed and laughed and giggled her way across the room for more refreshments.

If Only Someone Were Here to Hold Me and I Just Want to Be Taken Care of for a While

The week has been good, albeit filled with a lot of emotions, reactions and experiences. I’ve put out a lot of energy, some valuable, some not so valuable and I feel a bit worn out and tired. It’s when I get in those spaces that I wish I were nearby dear friends. The ones who would rub my feet, or prepare a meal for me, or give me a massage, or sit with me in my hot tub to vent the week and gain perspective. These are the times when I need my friends and family more than ever. The gifts from Gloria and Christi definitely helped me feel the connection. I can also tell I need to let go of this “poverty” headset. Because of financial reasons, I rarely call my local, Kingston friends on my cell phone for long conversations and to debrief because it’s easy to eat up a $300J card in 20 or 30 minutes of a call. (For perspective, I spend about $1600/month on phone cards, about 10% of my monthly stipend.) Which leads me to I ----

Can Hardly Believe It! My carryon bag has dust on it!

I’m going to Mexico next Saturday! A real vacation! Being reunited with friends from Denver! Being a tourist! It will be such a time to be taken care of-Mary Link will be the chef extraordinaire for the week, all we really need to do is show up, walking two blocks on the beach between where I’ll be staying and where the dance camp will take place. Ah. . .not lugging my laptop around, all the workout clothes and gear around. Rita and Jen, both massage therapists, will be there, along with all kinds of other wonderful people. I look forward to the meaning conversations, the laughter, the music, the joy, the lightness of being. I can tell more than ever what a gift it will be and I’m so thankful I took the leap of financial faith to go. And God bless Clifton, he’ll pick me up at the airport when I return at 9 pm, Sunday, the 22nd. Ahhhh, that alone is a huge relief and a huge gift.

I pulled my green carryon out of the closet and had to laugh at all the dust on it. Considering I’d been traveling about every two to three weeks with my job at NCSL, this bag of mine is in a state of shock!

Cruise Boat Party: The More the Merrier

Keith, my favorite aerobic teacher at Raphael’s, is organizing a big, cruise boat party on Friday, February 27th. So far, I’ve sold 10 tickets for him. Coincidently, Hope and I walked past Morgan’s Harbor, where the boat departs from, on our way to Lime Cay on Wednesday. Morgan’s Harbor is a hotel/resort on Port Royal and it was great to learn where we need to go for the party. We decided to go ahead and stay at the resort Friday night, since the boat party ends at 12:30 in the morning and transportation back to Kingston could end up being as costly as staying at the hotel. Plus, the next day, we could head out to Lime Cay for a day in the sun. Anne, Hope and I will share a room and hopefully find one other person to join us and split the cost. Only five days after I get home, it’ll be a wonderful way to re-enter Kingston, have some fun and meet some great people.

AG Edwards Can Take Their Paperwork and Fly It

The AG Edwards saga is coming to an end. They, and Gloria, received the necessary paperwork to close my accounts. Arrangements are being made to transfer everything into PERA. I’m in correspondence with Peace Corps Washington on the legal side of things, yet I’m relieved to have the bulk of this taken care of before heading on vacation.

It’s been a quiet weekend. I stayed at home all day Saturday, doing some major cleaning, beginning to pack for the trip and just being still. I can feel a real change in the weather-the dryness is becoming that much more evident and I continue to love it. It’s getting hotter up here, so I can only imagine how much hotter it must be just 15-20 minutes down the road in Kingston proper. I read a novel in two days, Of Love and Other Demons, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I’ll head down the hill with Clifton in just fourtyfive minutes, head to Peace Corps for some internet time, get a run in and just kick back in town for the day. I can tell I need some company. The Jamaican German Society’s hash (hike) is today, but I don’t feel like I have the energy for that today.

Monday, February 2, 2004

Okay, Okay, 1000 Words a Day

Carolyn See, I hear you. I’m home, in my pjs around 8:45 and while I could easily just go to bed and sleep, I’ll find the discipline to get my words down for the day, especially since I haven’t written since, last Thursday? (She's the author of Making a Literary Life.)

The chronic disease prevention training continues to go very well. Friday, Gerardo picked me up in Papine and we got to the University of West Indies (known as UWI, pronounced, U-EE), Distance Education Center (DEC)-UWIDEC by 9, giving us an hour to get our Powerpoints loaded, tested and ready. UWIDEC connects sixteen Caribbean countries with audio conferencing. Six people from St. Augustine, Trinidad, joined us via the technology. Gerardo went first, providing great information about WHO’s and PAHO’s efforts to prevent chronic, non-communicable diseases. I followed with Economic Considerations of Chronic Disease Prevention. The entire morning went very well, plus I asked each participant (12 from Trinidad, Barbados, Grenada, Jamaica, St. Vincent and the Grenadines) to write down two or three needs they had related to developing community based interventions for chronic disease and related to policy. I spent five hours on Sunday finalizing two more Powerpoints that I’ll give tomorrow (Tuesday the 3rd). Maybe that’s part of why I feel so tired tonight. All I can say is how wonderful I feel, linking my “past life” to this one. I can see how great the needs are here for people with chronic disease prevention training and feel so blessed to share my experiences and can see the needs and opportunities for a group that is so welcoming.

Interesting day on Saturday-a U.S. Congressional Delegation of about 30 folks came to JAS to learn more about the AIDS issues in Jamaica. Many were affiliated with USAID, in DC and here, and/or public and private sector representatives. I even met two former Peace Corps Volunteers in the group! I said hello to a woman who works for Senator Richard Lugar, Chair of the Senate Foreign Relations committee and learned that U.S. Peace Corps is accountable to that particular committee. (Lugar was the mayor of Indianapolis during my growing up years there.) All in all, I think the day went very well for JAS and the group and I learned a lot as well.

Hope and I went to Jamrock, one of the upscale bar/restaurants in New Kingston and sat and talked for almost four straight hours! It was so good to just catch up and vent the week. I headed home with Clifton while Hope caught the bus over to Anne and LaTonja’s, Mark’s roommates for a “girls night out.” I was just in the mood to be at home and not deal with packing up clothes to stay in town. I continue to feel the impact of carrying my heavy backpack on almost a daily basis. One day when this wireless internet becomes a reality, I sure hope I can keep the computer at home more often. It’s somewhat becoming my own ball and chain. Hope told me tonight the gals didn’t head home till 1:30 in the morning when the dancehall music began. I’m really glad I scooted home!

Sunday was a yummy, stay at home and rest kind of day. The day was beautiful, warm and sunny. I did two loads of laundry, everything dried on the line in about three hours. Praise God! That contrasts to about three days during the rainy season. Oh, I’m so thankful those days are over! I even got the ladder out and washed my windows! I don’t know the last time they’d been washed, yet with the incredible view I have from them, I thought it was about time to make ‘em sparkle. Good old vinegar water and newspapers and wa-la, a new view of the world. I was well aware of the irony of washing my windows and craving clarity on a few different issues. A perfect task for such a process, eh?

I spent the afternoon finalizing my two presentations and researching a lot of information I’d downloaded-comparing and contrasting three different models of community based health promotion planning. While Joe invited me to a community “town meeting” to talk about issues in Maryland and Woodford, including the resource center I mentioned a few weeks back, I just didn’t have the energy for it. The good news is, the project will be ongoing and after I finish this training and come back from my Mexico vacation, I’m sure I’ll be able to join in at any time.

I finished The Poisonwood Bible, at long last. Julie M. had loaned me the book soon after it came out in 1999 and I never got through it back then. Barbara Kingsolver, once again, has written a book of epic proportions. The premise is a family of six, four daughters, who go to the Congo with a zealous Baptist missionary father in the 1950s. One line that really made me laugh was when one of the daughters talked about the “siestas”-time under the mosquito netting midday because their mother was so afraid of all the diseases spread by mosquitoes. At first, the girls had a fun time in the sacred little space, yet the novelty ran out rapidly. One of the daughters said (not verbatim, mind you}-“And all we could do was lay there and watch mildew grow on our shoes.” Did I ever laugh at that one. Funny it wasn’t so funny when it was actually happening last fall. Anyway, I finished the novel by the end of the weekend and highly recommend it.

I was all ready to kick back and watch a DVD after I cooked a great dinner of a lime-pepper jelly chicken dish (modified the Kiva Chicken recipe for the lucky ones out there who’ve had it before) with lime rice (modified from lemon rice), and cooked pumpkin. Don’t ask me what happened, but my laptop couldn’t read the DVD. It all worked out fine, though, cause Gloria called and we gabbed for almost 30 minutes! It was a great Sunday evening. Peace Corps had helped me get the AG Edwards paperwork overnighted to her and AG Edwards and I was thrilled to know it arrived safely. A few more papers to be processed and everything will be transferred out of their hands and into PERA. I’ll be thrilled if it’s completely finalized before I leave for Mexico. My request for legal assistance from Peace Corps Washington is still in the works-I got a response from the first contact who said another person will be doing the review and investigating.

I’ll close for now. Since I don’t want to go through what I went through today to get to the Pegasus, I’m going to get up at 5 and head in with Clifton in the morning. I left home at 7:45 and it took me an hour and a half to get to New Kingston and I got there 15 minutes late. A usual ride would be about 40 minutes. It was the first time I really got stuck in the famous Kingston traffic. Since I’m first on the agenda tomorrow, I’m not going to take any chances. I’ll head to Peace Corps, have breakfast there, watch the news and then walk the 15 minutes to the Pegasus and have plenty of time to get things set up.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

I Just Get Tired of “Transporting” Sometimes

It’s Thursday morning, around 10 am. My clothes are hanging to dry in the sun. The occasional “beeps” from the coasters heading up and down the hill remind me that children are on their way to school, people on their way to work and I’m so happy to just be sitting up here at home. I can tell I’m continuing to put out much more energy than I’m taking in and I really relish these long, quiet mornings at home. I continue sleeping soundly and for nine to ten hours at a time. Home by 8:30 last night, after Raphael’s hour and a half class, oh, did we all laugh a lot-in bed with The Poisonwood Bible by 9 and lights out before 10, slumbering soundly till 7this morning, just as the sun comes over the peaks a few miles from my place.

I spent most of yesterday morning at Peace Corps, talking to Suchet, Jamaica’s Country Director, about the AG Edwards dilemma and my upcoming presentations. Skipping details, sets of original, signed forms with memos instructing Bob on how to transfer the funds are on their way to America-a set to Bob and to Gloria. What a relief to get over some huge hurdles with all that. I’ve been emailing my accountant and banker, inquiring about tax implications and technicalities on the transfers. Praise God for email! I honestly don’t know how this would have resolved itself without it. I’ve also connected with Peace Corps legal staff in D.C. On principle, I want to find out the legality of this policy, as I question how AG Edwards is interpreting my legal status, citizenry and residency.

Per Alicia, I also spoke with Suchet about the upcoming presentations: Economic Considerations of Chronic Disease Prevention (present this Friday) and Steps in Developing Community Based Interventions (Targeting Chronic Disease Prevention)-to be presented next Tuesday. I completely finished the first PowerPoint yesterday and did hours of research for the second one, resulting in a preliminary PowerPoint. I also revamped a presentation on policy approaches to chronic disease prevention which I plan to add into the mix of discussion for Tuesday. I feel so thankful to have the chance to do all this. Exciting and edgy, for sure, more like “eustress.” Eu-as in euphoria. I learned about the difference between eustress and distress years back-I think it was from The Stress Response classic-describing similar physiological responses to stress even when it’s from a positive situation (preparing for a big trip, having a baby, preparing for a wedding, etc.) I get this way every time I prepare for a public presentation. I also know that the more I prepare, ultimately, the more relaxed I am when the time comes. On top of that, I received an invitation from Dr. Ashley’s assistant to attend to a Cardiovascular Workgroup meeting on February 20th. I responded that if I were on-island, I would love to attend. (I’ll be in Mexico for my vacation.) I’m pretty sure this is the group that she invited me to take a lead on coordinating.

Not surprising, I’ve been feeling some imbalance with what I’m doing at JAS, yet Robert and Ian know how important this is to me and I have their full support. Here’s my “hyper-responsibility” showing up again! The office has been quiet this week, as many folks are out of town at trainings or meetings.

I’ve been ready to socialize the past few days, yet patience is required! Hope went to the Ochi and Mo’Bay offices Monday, just returned yesterday. I text’d Mark to see about going out for a beer Tuesday night, he’s been traveling the island for his work as well. These are the times when I miss having more friends nearby, with unlimited phoning capability and cars to make a spontaneous happy hour or gathering possible. Coordinating even two Peace Corps volunteers’ schedules can consume a lot of energy and time.

I’ve also been putting off the placement test at the Venezuelan Cultural Institute, in part because of the other things I’m dealing with, and in part, to some anxiety I have about taking the test. Need to get over that one or I may miss a window that’s open right now.

I had a good time at Raphael’s class yesterday. I hadn’t worked out since last Thursday and was more than ready for it. The women in the class last night were on a roll, we laughed more than ever and the woman next to me was particularly hysterical. After an hour+ of aerobics, he has us lay down on our mats and said we’ll be doing something completely different for the next 30 minutes-stretching and relaxing. We’re all bushed, barely moving and he starts out with these nice stretches and deep breathing. Well, he clearly doesn’t understand the word, “relaxing” because he picks up the pace and here we are working harder than we anticipated. At one point, a half-mutiny occurred, half the group just laid on their mats, only counting out loud with him! It was hysterical. Then he says, okay, I’ll do it with you. He gets on his hands and knees and starts doing these bent-leg lifts and the other half of us, laying like overcooked noodles, just watch him, counting and cheering him on. Oh, it was so funny! This actual touches on some cultural issues for me as well. As a global statement, I’ve experienced many Jamaicans to be very quiet and soft spoken. I think about what it’s like, riding the bus or light rail in Denver. Strangers chatting with one another, about news events, the weather, whatever. I experience much less of that in Jamaica, even at Raphael’s. I really enjoyed seeing and hearing so much interaction between everyone there last night. It was quite fun. I left, telling Raphael he needed to open Webster’s Dictionary to page 483 where he’ find the definition of “relax” and that I’d check in with him tomorrow to see how his lesson was coming along. Oh, the laughs and smiles we shared!

Oh yea, I also chatted with Clive, my rattan rocker maker, yesterday, and gave him the dimensions of the chair I want him to make for me. Am I ever lucky! He told me he’d start working on it next week, saying he could finish it in two or three days, along with a footstool. Good thing, because he’s heading to the Jamaican Embassy to get a visa to join his wife in London and hopes to leave Jamaica for an extended period of time sometime in February. He reassured me that he’ll finish my chair and rocker before he leaves. What a kind man. When he goes, I’ll miss not seeing him and waving to each other each time I walk back and forth his place on Lady Musgrave. I really hope he gets his paperwork and clearance. I understand it’s quite challenging and only a few Jamaicans are granted the okay.

I continue to feel blessed by being at JAS. Having a direct modem connection to my laptop is an incredible gift. I’ve been able to do direct downloads of Windows updates, virus protections (just hearing about this new one affiliated with emails) and emails via Outlook. Plus and I’m able to download all kinds of health promotion resources straight to my computer. Sooner than later, I’m going to get this Nokia card to set up the direct internet access. I do get tired of carrying the twenty pound pack back every day, along with another bag of my workout clothes.

So. . I’ll head to Kingston in the next hour or so, relishing in the stillness of this incredible mountain environment.

Monday, January 26, 2004

The Global Views from Here are Something!

It’s 8:50 in the evening and I just sat down after walking in the door to my precious, little corner of the world. Took a quasi-warm shower, put on my cotton, floral, Victoria Secret pajamas, the ones with the long pants and long sleeves, the cozy, white robe and slippers from Becky, a bowl of freshly popped popcorn and a cold, well-almost cold, Guinness next to me. One of the CD’s Rita gave me in June is playing, some wonderful Middle Eastern drumming, tablas included. Just the right circumstances to sit and vent my day. (If the sun shines intensely at home, I’ll have a hotter than if-it’s-a-partly-cloudy-day shower.)

What is it about chronic disease prevention and health promotion that gets me so excited? That will be something for me to understand even more deeply than I do. My energy is flowing, like water unleashed from behind a dam. Gerardo and Mr. Smith, PAHO’s driver, picked me up at Hope’s house this morning at 6:40 am. I am tired, that’s for sure. We drove about two hours to Mandeville, to attend the opening day of the two-week training on chronic, non-communicable diseases. Participants included: three women from St. Vincent and the Grenadines; 3 from Grenada; 3 from Barbados, 3 from Trinidad and 3 from Jamaica. Despite a three hour blink from 10:30 to about 1:30, it was a wonderful day!

I’m still a bit blown away by it all Like a major dream is materializing, right in front of me. Like I see the rewards of sacrifice. I gave up so much to come here. Stood on the edge for how long? Scared shitless (okay, there it is-the first time I’ve actually written “the word”), yet knowing it was time. Time for me to change, to be changed and as I said to Clifton last Thursday on our way home. “THIS is why I came to Jamaica.” And I can only sing praises to God for the fulfillment of my prayers! I was so warmly welcomed by Mr. Nobuhiro Kumagai, Resident Representative of Japan’s International Cooperation Agency (JICA), based in Kingston, funny enough, located five minutes from Peace Corps and 10 minutes from JAS. He was thrilled to have me attend, as a chronic disease specialist, as a U.S. Peace Corps Volunteer. It’s all so much of a salad bowl-the colors of flags and people, the languages, the mannerisms, the perspectives (clinical vs. community) and I had to pinch myself several times today, wondering, how in the world did I end up here?

I got a lot from two presentations in particular, Dr. Sandra Chambers presented the Wellness Project Model being funded from JICA. She’s an M.D., from Jamaica, trained in the states, very experienced and an eloquent speaker. The project’s definitely a clinic-based model and is having a positive impact in the three communities it’s been implemented. Evaluation is in progress. Dr. Elizabeth Ward, who reports to Dr. Deanna Ashley, Director of Health Promotion and Disease Prevention at the Ministry of Health, was incredible, presenting an epidemiological overview of chronic, non-communicable diseases in Jamaica and the Caribbean along with policy and research implications was terrific. Those talks, along with one woman coming up to me, telling me she wanted to talk about how to move towards policy, gave me all kinds of impetus to incorporate changes into the presentations that stand in front of me.

Friday morning the group arrives in Kingston around 9. Gerardo will give an overview of chronic disease priorities and initiatives of the World Health Organization and PAHO (Pan American Health Organization, a regional branch of WHO). I spent five hours Saturday preparing a 30 minute PowerPoint on the Economic Considerations of Chronic Disease Prevention. I’ll follow Gerardo. Then on Monday, Gerardo and I have a two hour session on “Health Education: Theory and Practice” –he’s taking the lead on putting the PPT together. I gave him a bunch of feedback on his draft today. Then on Tuesday, 2/3, I’ll take the lead on another two hour session, “Developing Community Based Interventions.” It definitely feels manageable, although I thought differently just three days ago. After today, I know I want to do at least a 30 minute portion somewhere all on policy development. So much of the work I did with and for policymakers at NCSL prepared me for this-I feel like if I had to step up to the challenge tomorrow, I could wing it. However, those of you that know me will know I’ll spend inordinate amount of hours perfecting and preparing. It’s such an opportunity, and from at least five participants, I heard the need for understanding how to take chronic disease to the next level, be it legislative or developing and implementing policy at a community or organizational level.

795 words. I’m getting it.

Gerardo and I stayed, after being strongly encouraged, for a welcome reception. We were both ready to leave way before that, yet I’m glad we stayed. I had a chance to meet a few other folks. I asked Dr. Ward to email me her presentation and when we chatted afterwards, she told me Dr. Ashley told her that we’d met and she asked if I’d be coming to work for the MOH on chronic disease shortly! I was so flattered, I probably stumbled a bit, yet I told know I was making inroads and that as we both knew, making small, incremental steps towards change was important. She laughed and understood and I let her know how good it was to have negotiated my attendance at this workshop. I let her know that I was continuing to work on finding more ways to increase my time and involvement with chronic disease prevention. I can really see how I have so much to contribute and I see this as a wonderful opportunity for Peace Corps as well. Patience, patience, patience!

With all the energy I’ve been expending, I turned my light out at 8:45 pm on both Friday and Saturday nights! Slept 10 hours both nights and feel like I could do the same tonight. AG Edwards stuff still lies ahead of me, yet many of my questions have been answered. Gloria was to contact PERA today to see about being able to roll these two rollovers there. I’m praying the answer is yes and it will be a simple transaction with just a few forms to sign. I’ll head to Peace Corps Tuesday to make some calls about it all and see what options exist.

I spent several hours at JAS Sunday afternoon (yesterday), checking email, doing JAS work and researching for the presentations. Mid afternoon, I walked over to Olivier and Stewart’s place-they just moved into a beautiful, three bedroom home between the Pegasus Hotel and JAS, only three blocks from Peace Corps. Olivier has a pool pass to Pegasus, so about 3:30, when the sun came out from behind the clouds, we all headed over for a few hours of rest and relaxation by the pool. It was quite lovely and a reminder of “the good life.” Before I headed back to JAS, we stopped for big bowls of soup from a Chinese restaurant. It was nice being at JAS with no one but Linton around. Linton is the groundskeeper and stays overnight there. I don’t think I’d want to be there by myself at night. I was thrilled to get some work done and walked on over to Hope’s by 8:30. Slept okay, yet am so happy to be home in the peace and quiet, knowing I’ll soon put my head on my own dear pillow. Am I ever glad I brought that from home! I’ve also been working on a letter to Kristin, a young woman who’s worked at SOPHE’s D.C. office. She emailed me a few weeks back-she’s quit her job and will move to Botswana in February or March with Peace Corps! I told her I’d be happy to send her some advice about packing and preparing. So. . . I’ll close for now and either move on the that or just get under my wonderful down comforter and read a bit of The Poisonwood Bible before falling asleep. I did miss joining Keith’s’ class at the club tonight. He didn’t make it there last Thursday, so it’ll be a full week before I get to dance my way through my workout again. It’s been an incredible way to burn off the stress, and that will be the night before my morning presentation. I feel so blessed! 1423 words.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Am I trying to do too or am I just PMSing? and

Is there a lawyer in the house?

Holy Moly, it’s been a slippery day. Were my days in Denver as intense as they sometimes are here? There’s edginess and overall, I’m quite agitated. Actually, I’m flat out angry, furious, livid.Here’s the primary culprit. I get this email from my AG Edwards broker: “We regret to inform you that because of the costs and complexities of properly servicing accounts in certain foreign jurisdictions, A.G. Edwards & Sons has made the decision that we will no longer be able to service your account. Consequently, we ask that you cease activity in your account and give us instructions to transfer and/or liquidate your assets and pay the proceeds to you.”

I am as livid as the Wicked Witch of the West when Dorothy defied her in the end and am quite confused because a) my account resides in Colorado, not a foreign jurisdiction; b) I’m an American citizen, employed by a U.S. federal agency, assigned to a “temporary tour of duty” and I feel like I’m being discriminated against because of my employment. You can well imagine the headache that began with this last week and I feel so badly because Gloria, as my durable power of attorney, is already handling so much of my financial affairs. This one just feels that much more complicated, IF it stands. Believe me, I’m trying to get answers and without much response thus far. I’m checking into legal counsel support with Peace Corps, or at least financial assistance to make the phone calls necessary to get this resolved in a timely way.

Ugh-I’ve let this take an emotional drain on me and I’m exhausted.

On a positive note, it only took 26 minutes for me to get from Papine to the PAHO/MOH office building this morning! I left at 9 am and made it there 30 minutes early. Gerardo and I met for five hours, planning out the three training sessions. I feel so motivated and on track, while simultaneously, struggling and feeling badly with how to communicate this to JAS. As hope so aptly said, I have a “hyper-responsibility” aspect to my personality and it is definitely not serving me well at this point.

Thank goodness, tomorrow is a new day.

Monday, January 19, 2004

More Glorious Wonders: Cecil Benson

It truly is if God really does listen to all my inner prayers and dreams. Last Wednesday, I spoke with Robert and Alicia about my need for balance in this Peace Corps experience and that one of the things on my wish list is to learn all I can about this awesome Blue Mountain Coffee. Here I am, living right in the middle of it all-The Tywmans’ just up the road 20 minutes, Hopeton beyond that, coffee growing with an eight minute walk from home, etc., etc., etc.. I told Robert and Alicia both, that I’d love the time to just explore and get to know the people whose lives are wrapped up with coffee, one way or another.

So what happens? I left home at 8:04 am, just after two taxis passed by. I was still in the yard and hadn’t made it past the old iron gate to the road in time. My first reaction was of being bummed. I like being efficient and if I’d caught one of them, I’d have been at the office by 9:00, just as I’d planned. Well, now I know part of the reason I missed those two. I waited for 30 more minutes, thank goodness I did have The Poisonwood Bible with me. That, journal and letter writing are ways I’m finding to deal with the stress of waiting. I could go off on this one but I won’t, at least for now. Two other coasters go past me, “full up” so I continue to read. (Team Briefing happens at 10:15, I have a bunch of work to do to prepare, it takes about an hour for me to get to JAS once I’m in someone’s taxi.)

Who stops? A man in a red pick up truck. Dad, you’ll be pleased to know there was no machete anywhere in sight this time! I start my usual chatting-I find it to be a positive offensive move and a good way to establish repoire from the get-go. He asked what state I was from, what I was doing here and had an obvious look of surprise on his face when I told him I’d be living in Jamaica for almost another two years. He wanted to know what I did, who I worked for and just what I was up to. After I shared my tidbit of a story, I asked him what he did. I could tell from the several, worn notebooks next to him on the seat that he appeared to be employed and up to some kind of business. Lo and behold, he works for the Blue Mountain Coffee Growers Cooperative! He teaches coffee farmers all about growing and cultivating coffee, pruning, cultivating, and selling to the Jamaican coffee board. I immediately felt he was God’s answer to my prayer! I told him how incredible it was that he picked me up, told him what I just told you up above and asked if there was a way I could accompany him for a day or two and have him teach me everything he knows. Is this awesome or what? He works primarily in St. Thomas, the parish just east of Kingston and said he’d be happy to have me come along. He even said he’d have room for a group of people if interested, yet I kinda just want to do this by myself. It takes so much energy in coordinating anything down here, it feels like it’ll be simpler to just meet him in Morant Bay and go from there.

What’s also quite coincidental about all this is that Cooperative he works for is the exact same one that Brother Tom said his favorite coffee shop in LA buys its Jamaican coffee from! It’s such a small world, isn’t it?! So. . .send me any questions you have about Jamaica’s famous and wonderful Blue Mountain Coffee and I can have Cecil answer your questions, too! I do want to find out about the specific kind of bean that’s cultivated.

So, an incredible way to start my week. And I’m definitely on for working with Gerardo on a three day chronic disease prevention training at the end of this month. Gerardo and I spoke by phone today to fill in a few of the blanks. It’s sponsored by the JICA, Japanese International Cooperation Agency and 15 people, primarily nurses and physicians, representing 15 different Caribbean countries, will all come to Kingston for the training. It begins Friday, January 30th and concludes at the end of the next Tuesday. What an opportunity to meet many of the regional and international players of chronic disease prevention!

He’s been allotted a chunk of time on Friday and I’ll be doing a 30 minute presentation during that period. He’s going to cover diabetes and we tossed out ideas of economics of chronic disease, obesity, and/or various community based approaches to chronic disease prevention. We talked about CDC’s Community Preventative Services Guidelines, which differ from the Clinical Guidelines. I’m heading to his office tomorrow for a more detailed planning meeting.

And small worlds-Deanna will be the trainer for Monday, sharing the Healthy Lifestyles Strategic Plan and initiatives. So. . . she and I will have a chance very soon to begin working together as well. It’s all happening so quickly it seems and I feel so alive with his invitation!

Saturday, January 17, 2004

Steps: 23,827

My Table!

A day of many blessings-praise God indeed!

I checked email early at Peace Corps today and the most amazing invitation was waiting for me. Gerardo, my colleague at PAHO (Pan American Health Organization), invited me to help develop a three day training on chronic disease prevention! A group of individuals from several Caribbean countries will attend on January 30, and February 3 and 4. When he asked me in the email if I’d like to do one of the presentations, I just about jumped out of my chair to do the victory dance! Do you know it? The one where you extend your arms and hands into the air in a big V and dance in a small circle, hopping all the while? I’m sure you’ve done it at least once. If not, I’d highly recommend you add that to your list of New Year’s Resolutions for 2004. I quickly replied yes to both and will meet with him sometime this week to begin the planning.

That invitation was on top of another one this week, again related to health promotion and chronic disease prevention. Dr. Deanna Ashley, Director of Health Promotion at Jamaica’s Ministry of Health called to see if I’d be interested in taking a lead role in the cardiovascular health portion of the Healthy Lifestyles Strategic Plan. I told her I’d be able to work one day a week for right now, that I still needed to follow through with my commitments to JAS, yet by April or May, I’d be in more of a position to work more hours. I also have some concerns about the commute. The Ministry of Health (MOH) and PAHO (Pan American Health Organization) share the same office, which sits right on Kingston Bay. Fortunately, I can pick up one bus in Papine and take it all the there. It’ll just be a longer commute. Then I realized I can always just tell them what hours would work for me, like 10-3. That would keep me out of the major traffic headaches. I also asked Deanna if anyone in her office lived near Mona so I could commute with someone else. When I spoke with her, I’m sure I communicated some hesitancy, as I was still in the midst of my “putting the pieces” together-trying to figure out how I’d do JAS, investigate the opportunities to teach at the Woodford All Ages School-more developments on that front as well. Now, with even a few days behind me, and the invitation from Gerardo, I think I’d be absolutely crazy NOT to jump on both! I feel so much excitement, hope and unleashed passion. Both will definitely help me meet the personal and professional goals I had in mind when I decided to take this path.

I spent Friday night at Hope’s so I could make it to Lord of the Rings with Mark and Latonja. My first movie in a theatre since arriving in Jamaica. Afterwards, Richard met Mark and me and the three of us found a new little jerk center two blocks west of the Sovereign Mall called Our Place. Twice last week, I walked from Raphael’s (my health club) all the way to Liganeau. I first walk nine minutes from Raphael’s to the bus stop at Lady Musgrave and Hope Road. Clifton often picks me up there, usually around 8 in the evening. One evening last week, I went ahead and walked from that bus stop to Liganeau, just to see how long it would take-just another 15-20 minutes. Liganeau is another major shopping area, kind’ve like Half Way Tree but more “upscale”. There’s the Sovereign Mall, the theatre, the Super Plus grocery store that I most often visit, bank machines, etc. I notice the jerk center twice, it’s called Our Place and it’s a keeper. I had jerk chicken, ¼ pound for $150 (about $2.50US).

I met Richard for a run this morning. We headed to Peace Corps for me to drop my bags, and then ran to Emancipation Park. Ah, it always feels so good to get a run in now and then. I really wanted to be in Kingston early to stop at the Jamaican German Society’s yard sale. Something that doesn’t happen nearly as much as at home. And wa-la. . .

I found a very nice, sturdy wood table, 28 x 18 x 48 for $1000J! To give you a perspective, a table like this would easily sell for $4000-6000J based on the shopping I’ve been doing. The best part was Clifton’s willingness to leave the house early and meet me to load it in his car before he headed to work. It’s 9:30 in the evening and my “new” table is sitting along the window wall. It was a really good deal, as I’ve been shopping for a table for months. I had no idea how much I love surface space. One of those little things that’s easy to take for granted. When I first moved in here, all I had was the top of the desk. It’ll also give me a place to work on beads or crafts or painting or whatever and be able to leave works in progress out. With just the desk for everything, I didn’t have that luxury.

And what’s so nice about the table is that I can easily have four or five or maybe even six people sit at it for a meal. Something else I realized I wanted after visiting with Patti and Joe in Treasure Beach.

Another blessing was a spontaneous stop at the Venezuelan Cultural Institute. For weeks now, I’ve been either dropping by (a 10-15 minute walk from JAS) or calling, more than ready for the Spanish classes they offer. Well lo and behold, the Director was there in person! The woman I’d talked to in November, a staff assistant, suggested I come in for a placement test before the February term begins. Guillermo told me that this coming week was the week for placement tests to be given! How awesome is that? He said to allow an hour and a half, an hour for written and a half hour for verbal. If all goes well, the next term begins in March.

Richard and I then walked to the Bamboo Pen, wanting to relax, sun and cool off. By the time we arrived, there were about 15 kids in the pool, and 20 more parents hanging out. An HIV/AIDS agency was having a kickoff for a new youth program, Karen, the pool queen herself, organized it. On top of that, the clouds rolled in-not the best conditions for a sunny day at the pool. I walked from Liganeau back to Papine and made it home by about 5. Thus, all my steps for the day. I think it’s my personal best since I’ve been here. All in all, a very relaxed, comfortable and laid back day.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

My Chair!

Have I told you lately how badly I want a chair, a rocking chair to be specific? I miss my front porch glider big time! The one that came in my place is just not working. It’s too squarish, too wide, too low in back and when you sit on it, your bottom is about 9 inches off the floor. If it’s close to the window, you end up looking right at the concrete wall. Oh yea, it’s upholstered in red crushed velvet. (Thank goodness I bought enough fabric that matches my bedcover and glue-gunned curtains so it’s nicely covered at this point.

I checked at Super Valu-there was an Adirondack chair and foot stool that would’ve worked, yet while I was looking at other options, they sold out. I looked at two “antique/garage sale” places and have found a used white, metal rocker that Marjorie, the shop owner will sell to me for $3500J. The size and design would work, I just don’t like the idea of paying that much money for something that’s not really even an antique.

Today holds the key! To get to work, I take the 70 or 75 bus from Papine on Hope Road to Lady Musgrave. Every day, I walk 10-12 minutes on Lady Musgrave to Upper Musgrave. Every day, I see this guy on the other side of the street, making fabulous rattan furniture, tables, chairs, stools, bar stools, etc. As I approached him today, I thought-maybe he can make me one! Well sure enough, Mr. Clive Murdock can make me a rocking chair, something like 24” w x 19” d x 40” high, all for $3500. Of course I tried bargaining with him, but to no avail. So$3500J for a used, white rocker or $3500 for a custom-made rattan rocker? Easy answer! He said he’d be able to make it in two days. I’m going to wait till after this weekend’s yard sale by the Jamaican German Society to decide. I bet he can even make a small footstool as well. He understood my lack of cash and would be fine with me paying him over a month or two. That would be just way too cool! I’d love to just sit with him the entire time he’s making it to learn how he does it and take pictures on my new digital camera.

That was definitely the highlight of my day.

The monthly Executive Team meeting went very well. Felt like birthing another big baby. A coupla weird interactions, in part because of a lack of communication. Not feeling too good about that, yet I’ll figure it out and make it right. I left the meeting before it was over (although we’d already gone past the time it was scheduled to end) and walked to Peace Corps to drop off my quarterly report and my vacation request paperwork to Alicia. I’ll be heading to Mexico on Feb. 14th and can’t wait to see several of my Denver friends there!

My day ended with a great workout with Raphael and Keith tonight. Keith is throwing a cruise boat party on Friday, Feb. 27th. I’ve been communicating with him for a week or so on all the details since I want to send out a group email to lots of the Peace Corps gang. The boat leaves from Morgantown Harbor (near Kingston Harbor) at about 7:00, will cruise out towards Lime Key and the entire evening costs $1500J-all inclusive. Boat trip, food, drinks, music and of course, with Keith planning it, lots of great dancing. (Keith’s a member of the National Dance Theatre Company and teaches two evening a week at Raphael’s.)

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

My Day Home and Post Party

Ah . . . how good it is to spend time here. I’m shaping things so I’ll be at home on Tuesdays. This is the second week in a row that I’ve taken it “off.” I spent several hours this morning reading and writing on the porch. As always, the mornings are my favorite, the sun shines so brightly, it’s a little bit cool and its’ so, so quiet, especially after about 8:30.

The open house was a lot of fun. I had an idea of who was coming up when on Saturday morning with most folks saying independently that they’d be up around 3 or 4 on Saturday. Well sure enough, I looked out when I sensed a taxi stopping and here they all come, walking in as straight a line down my lawn as the tiny ants march a straight line on my white, glossy kitchen walls! Richard, Hope, Karen, Andy, Ian and Cara. Even though the clouds had come and it was a bit damp and cool, we all gathered on the front porch until we all decided it was time to start cooking up stuff. Richard spent over $1000J just on cheese for us! He brought everything he needed to make jerk cheese fondue. My oh my oh my! Was that a winner! Karen and Hope brought cocoa, peanut butter and oats for some no-bake drop cookies. I had been prepping food for days and the menu was just as I’d planned with those wonderful additions. (See last Friday’s entry for the menu!)

What I loved the most was having everyone participate in the making. Cutting onions and cucumbers, squeezing limes, Andy was hysterical, wrapping the fabric that hung near the double gas-burner around his neck and away from danger! Never before had I had so many people in my tiny little kitchen and it was priceless.

Having the afternoon free, I spent several hours playing with my new digital camera and got it all up and running. Now I just need to figure out how and where to post or send the pictures so everyone can enjoy them! Fortunately, Ian took several pictures of all of us in the kitchen, me, Karen at the sink, Cara next to her. I just loved having this place be so filled with life and energy!

After we stuffed our faces, we hung on the porch some more, relishing our full bellies and enjoying the darkening evening. Everyone was up for the little ceremony I had in mind and we proceeded to move onto the 8’ wide lawn for our “gathering under the breadfruit tree.” In place of the bonfire, I placed the stem-ends of a dozen or so dried breadfruit leaves at a center point, creating a two-two and a half foot wide circle. Then we placed six or so large, flat rocks in the circle’s center and then put about seven candles on those rocks. With all our chairs around the circle, you would’ve thought we were sitting in front of a small bonfire! It was lovely and cozy. Everyone was open to a little New Year’s ritual of sorts, so why not?! I was a bit nervous, since I’ve only done this kind of stuff with my friends back in Denver. When I told ‘em how I was feeling and that I wondered it they thought I was a little weird, they all laughed and said, “It didn’t take this for us to know that!” Then all we laughed, too, about how all of us must be a bit weird ourselves for signing up for this entire escapade.

I shared a tiny bit about the four elements and how they were represented in the circle, talked a bit about the four directions. Fortunately Richard has a compass on his watch so I found east for sure-I was right on the mark and felt good about intuiting that. Easy, too, since my bed faces the direction where the sun comes up, a common thread in 80% of the homes that I’ve ever lived in! I came across one of my most favorite poems, “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer earlier in the day and it seemed to be so appropriate for the New Year. If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it. So, I read that to everyone. Oh, yea, I also put three bubble bottles out, so wheeeeooooo! I felt like I was right back at home in Denver gathering with all my friends on the patio. Just didn’t have the graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows for s’mores! And of course, Murphy checking everyone out.

We all talked about 2003, where we were a year ago. Someone had posed an excellent “Martha question.” Many folks down here know of Martha and the wonderful way she has of getting interesting conversations going, I’ve told them all what a “Martha question” is. . that was kinda trippy. For the most part, a year ago seems like forever ago, at least for me. We shared a bit more and talked about what we’re ready to let go of from the past year as the New Year begins (similar to some of the Burning Bowl stuff). We each wrote something down on the paper, lit them in one of the candles and let it burn down to our fingertips before we dropped it in the small white bowl of water sitting nearby. After a long, pregnant pause, we just let it be and moved on to talking about our hopes for the New Year. I was touched when someone said how valuable it was, to put the year behind them, instead of continuing to live in a “what if” place-what would I be doing if I was still back in the states. I loved how Karen said how good it was to have one whole entire year ahead of us, time to just enjoy and sink into this place. Letting our roots take hold. That was powerful to me, because it carries such a sense of stability, a welcome change from 2004. The entire evening was very sweet, intimate and warm and I was happy everyone was open to going along with it all.

Jerry, my favorite taxi driver, came by and picked everyone up around 8:30. Cara and Ian, a young married couple working with youth in schools, live the furthest and needed to get to Half Way Tree before 10 to catch a bus home. Richard stayed the night. We popped in my new DVD from Libby, “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.” What a classic! And so ironic that Richard is reading it and just last week I told him Karen had the DVD. Then, Libby’s Christmas package from Bloomington, Indiana arrives and poof! There it is! We slept in till 8:30 and woke to another beautiful mountain morning. After some fantabulous Blue Mountain coffee from the French press Tom sent, I cooked up a callaloo pie, using the leftover jerk cheese fondue. Oh my goodness! Now that’s one for the cookbook! We had boiled plantain, oh so sweet, toast, ortinque oranges and bananas and prunes marinated in ortinque juice. I am so blessed to have two of ortinque trees out behind the washroom and I’ve been picking four or six a day it seems. The best oranges I’ve ever had!

It was great having Richard’s company. We gabbed about a bunch of different books, life’s experiences and had a lovely morning. He hopped a ride down with Clifton near noon and I took a bit of time to clean up and chill out a bit. Despite a lingering upper respiratory bug, Mark made it up about 3ish and stayed till nearly 9. Not by design-we had a heck of a time getting a taxi for him. Jerry came by once on his way up the hill, said he’d be back down. When he got there, he was “full up.” That sure seemed out of character. It took until after 9 (started this about 6:50) till someone drove by and we flagged ‘em down. Mark called and he’d been able to talk the guy into taking him all the way home. He wasn’t even a taxi driver, but hey, as long as it worked out!

All in all, a very fun weekend. I learned a lot about how to throw one of these open houses-I think keeping it to one night will make it easier to plan around. Definitely helped having folks bring something to contribute, along with bowls and silverware. I loved sharing this beautiful place. I think first and foremost, folks commented on how quiet it is here. And then simply, how beautiful. Andy even gave me the idea that if I’m ever traveling, I could call him and he’d be happy to come up and house sit for a weekend. I look forward to seeing other folk’s places and would love to do something like this on a regular basis.

It’s been a good day here. More quiet time. Almost through with my quarterly report. I’ll meet with Robert tomorrow and let him know about my needs to change things around. Then, we have the monthly Executive Team meeting on Thursday.

I did two back-to-back aerobic classes at Raphael’s last night! I could hardly get from the passenger seat of Clifton’s car up the four steps and into my place! I love that good, tired feeling. Keith teaches on Mondays and Thursdays and those classes are becoming anchors in my week. Hopefully, I’ll be able to keep Friday to a short day. I had another lengthy and informative conversation with Alicia yesterday while at Peace Corps. She asked if I’d met with Robert or Ian yet about my planned changes. I told her Monday was Robert’s first day back in the office after the holiday and I was going to wait till Wednesday. She said she’d place a call there before too long as well.

I don’t know why I feel as nervous as I do. . . However, I do know how much better I feel when I’m on my own a bit more. I just need more space and time! I’m not sure if I’ve written you yet about developments for a Learning Resource Center that are going on right here in Maryland (Jamaica, of course!) Joe’s (the Peace Corps Volunteer who lives on the property here) been inquiring and has some connections that could open up doors for me to work directly with the Woodford All Ages School up behind the Woodford Anglican Church, a 15 minute walk up the hill. More on that another time!