Even though I only publish every couple of months. As for a quick rant as to what I am up to these days..... here goes: Currently, I am in the trenches of the graduate school application process. Yesterday, I admitted to myself that I am rethinking the helping profession of social work, or rather being honest about the possibility that it might not be for me. Through my own need for therapy over the years, I have been cautious that I wasn't just interested in being a counselor or therapist because of my own need, but it may be that. I think I am more selfish than I let on. I guess we all are. I want to be proud of being everything that I am. I am working through feelings of guilt, anger, responsibility and the like in therapy. One very interesting thing is that much of the root of these emotions is still unclear to me, after 9 months of weekly therapy. I asked Marita whether we couldn't concentrate on healing the wounds versus finding the culprit who made the wounds, if you get my drift. I still have a detached connection with trying to remember something that I don't consciously remember. That is not to say that I don't rule out the possibility that something not in my conscious mind is affecting me. In fact, I accept that now, more than ever. So I go on. Floating through life, trying to be content with myself. Trying to actively be attentive to when I judge myself, when I try and hide parts of myself to the outside world, and analyze why I do that, and whether it isn't just habitual. I think I am on a good path at the moment, I hope to continue to do so.

Among other things, recently I have felt more unrest as opposed to the usual apathy that usual settles in when thinking about politics. I have always been impressionable, and what usually saves me is an instinct to believe in the good of the people around me. With politics, I have been "impressed" by the third party call for a more equal representation system. Bottom line, the system is unfair, commonly in favor of those with money (whoever they may be) and difficult for the rest of the majority. Here in the States, during this presidential election, I see a great opportunity again in our country's history: to take advantage of the recent fame/interest in the voting and political process. If Americans use this opportunity to get involved, it could mean a REAL change in what the average American knows. I am not naive enough to think that it will all change in one night, but the voting process could lead people to realize that their vote isn't enough, but active civic participation isn't just about voting, its about using the power of the people to affect our daily lives instead of making the powerful, more powerful through our inaction.

This weekend, the infamous 13 reunion took place in the southside of Chicago. All there were a few fallen soldiers (R.I.P. E, Bingman, Reubano), Rodney a.k.a. the Baller, Mu a.k.a. that's a "T", and Dave a.k.a. DJ Frenzy came through to hold down atleast 24 hours of 13, a dozen of dominoes, more drinking, some dancing, and basically a day to night "hater's ball". The next reunion, for those who didn't catch it will be on the West Coast, cuz it was mad cold here...too cold.

Anyway, I haven't written in this blog since Peace Corps but I might start again.

It has been a while as always. Recently, I have been thinking about my future back in the States. You see, for the past year and a half I have been living a vastly different life from that of my life in the States. I have been living to the common eye a very "limited" life: limited in the resources I have available to me, the time it takes to get such resources, etcetera. The idea of a "comfortable life" has not been available as an American might perceive it. By many standards, I have been living a simple life that most people here seem to want to escape. In fact, they seek the world that I left. A world of "comfort", a world of stuff. The thing is that right now, I am beginning to realize that my scope is now a lot smaller than it once was in terms of comfort or the need for it but larger in terms of trying to get in touch with a sense of humanity. Before I wanted to come here and help people while I helped myself by figuring out my own values, beliefs, dreams and goals. Now, a year and a half later, I realize that in order to truly help people I have to first help myself while prioritizing those people and goals that can fit in my scope. Some people's scope are larger than others. In terms of progression in my desire to truly identify my values, beliefs, etcetera I would say that I am finally able to begin. Living in this culture that necessarily calmed my pace down and has forced me to take time in the things I do, I believe that I am beginning to be able to absorb the experiences in my life at a pace that I can handle. This epiphany comes at a time when the one that I love is leaving my world temporarily and when I am pretty much gone from here, returning to the States in April. I have plans for the near future but not concrete yet. I only hope that with the help of family and friends I will find the transition from this scope of living to a culture and world that I now conflict with more than ever.

So I was in the capital on Thursday for the day, and coming back early Friday Morning I was held up at gun point...my friend told me it was "aggravated assault"...whatever, he didn´t take anything or hurt me so as they say here "Gracias a Dios." Some interesting reflections though...

I can't say that since it happened to me that I have harbored or experienced any anger towards the assailants...in fact, on the bus ride following the incident I began to wonder what would compel someone to reach the point where they felt they had to rob someone for money...I recently read in a Psychology Today that I got from the states about a woman who befriended her daughter's murderer...For some reason, this example popped up in my head during the bus ride and I began to contemplate what true compassion is...related to my vocational interest of psychology I considered the possibility of maybe someday working with prisoner rehabilitation programs in the States...anyway, I thought the aftermath of my train of thought was much more interesting that the incident itself...I will try to keep this blog posted and up to date again now that there is internet at my site...but I have been really busy surprisingly...more interesting stuff in my life going on but if you want the skinny a personal email is my cover charge...

hope to hear from you all soon.

carlos

It is quite telling how I have not been updating my blog. This is mainly because I generally have Internet at my site but somehow I just dont get around to it...Kind of like, yoga, meditating, exercising, eating well...all these things I dont get around to half out of memory (lack thereof) and lack of will power. Anyway, I finished a week of Kreyol and am ready to study a bit when I get back to my site. I am realizing December is kind of a black-hole month here and it is somewhat frustrating because in the past couple of weeks I have been "motivated" to start new project plans and goals but I still haven't come around to making them happen...I wonder if this is yet another example of my lack of will or if I am finally coming off of my last 2 months of calm tranquilo demeaner...I hope not...

-carlitos

It was much easier at the beginning to write these blogs because I had an idea as to who my audience was...the novelty of going to peace corps does that but now 8 months later I wonder who is reading...I think the past couple of months have been vent sessions usually on this blog so this will be more stuff that is on my mind...

Recently, I have been losing the patience and dare I say zen like positivism I have been actively trying to incorporate into my life since I got here. I have always been told that I seem to pent things up (which will probably result in some A-type characteristic fate...) and honestly I had been convincing myself for the past couple of months that it wasn't me penting up things, and that I really was looking at things brighter and more positively. I think that this recent dip in this demeanor is actually the onset of signs that I am going to make a big step in my personal growth here. I feel as though I have read or people have told me that the hardest experiences usually precede epiphanies and the like...perhaps it is that positiveness popping in but I do have this intuition that I am on the brink of something new in my life...

Project-wise this is translating to my actively investigating new project areas, and personal interests escaping the area of information technology. I have talked to my bosses about this to keep them informed. I think this is my attempt yet again to make of my experience here something that "I want" instead of going through the motions as I probably have been doing up until now.

-carlitos

So yeah, I am in the capital and just got my green card...I am going to scan it to post next time...it is ridiculous how much my hair is getting out of hand...I am going to let someone in my town try to put in trensas which I don't even know the exact translation in english but they are going to do "something" with my hair. A friend of mine who just came back from the US brought me back a yoga mat which made me happy cuz now I get to practice yoga again...aside from laziness, not having the mat was my reason for quitting for a while. Anyway, the ride to Santo Domingo was a bit longer than normal - 8 hours this time - because of a guagua breakdown and cobradores (the guy who charges you on the guagua) were trying to screw all the passengers and strand us in some town in the middle of our journey. Anyway, bottom line I got here.

So later on today I have class # 4 with my group (3) teachers from the grammar school who I am helping get familiar with using computers. I teach Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4:30 - 8pm which is the busiest part of my week. Otherwise I am traveling around my region searching for meaningful work such as possibly working with kids with special educational needs, working with math teachers, and other stuff I am looking for.

I weigh 132 lbs. now...although I don't feel malnutritioned...but have a gut which means I am getting weaker (i.e. losing muscle mass)...so I have to get some protein supplements or something...you healthy geeks out there can leave me tips if you like...but chances are I wont remember to follow them.

What else interesting has been going on...oh, so I have been reading Buddhist books and Krishnamurti lately and I realize that I live (literally live) in my head and daydream to the point where I will not go out during an afternoon I have free and just think about things that might happen with my life, conversations I will have with people, etcetera...all of these I am calling mental models of the way I want the world to be or a possible (usually tragic) scenario...anyway, I am trying to actively stop myself whenever I catch myself doing this mainly because I am realizing that this alone is causing me to not be fully attentive in the present and inevitably not allow me to appreciate what is right in front of me...I think I am going to have to incorporate meditation to be more successful in quieting my mind but anyway, I think I am on to something with atleast my own understanding of the way my mind is working atleast some of the time.

Attention2Now

that is my greeting on my cell phone...it actually helps me to actively pay attention to the moment

ok, that is my two and a half cents for today, take care all and write me comments because that helps me too...

carlos

so yeah, I havent updated this page in a while but have approx. 3 minutes to write this entry...so here are the main points the last couple of weeks..

-gave a workshop to 6 teachers about planning for classes they give and working in and supporting each other in groups.

-working with group of grammar school teachers to introduce them to the computer so that they might use it for good instead of evil.

-doing a penpal type activity using email and chatting with youth groups from one part of the DR to another

-thinking about starting a homework "afterschool" type of program for kids in the school in my town concentrating on special needs kids with the help of a special education volunteer here

-helping IT teachers here one on one to develop their current knowledge of IT concepts (very basic)

-thinking about working with doctor in my town to give AIDS prevention talks

-havent moved out on my own yet but thinking about it

-thinking about visiting the family in November

-keeping busy is the only way I am not stressing about whether I should be here or not

-like most volunteers stay, the kids are going to be what make it worth it for me...

-still reading Buddhist literature when I get my hands on it

-looking for Cuban history

thats my 3 minutes...

carlos

bueno...

this blog is out of sheer boredom as it turns out that today I couldn't go through any of my plans for the day because an unpublicized strike (huelga) in the main intersection of my town stopped the main road of traffic to Dajabón, Loma de Cabrera and Partido. I was pretty impressed to see how skillfully the guagua drivers were so secretive about the strike that no one was prepared for it...including myself. It is again over the fact that the roads in this region of the country are horrendous and cause many vehicular problems...

Anyway, I was semi-efficient (not really) and am getting the rusted gears in motion to actually do some work in the next couple of months. I have this feeling like I never describe what I actually do here (for reasons obvious to some and well unneeded for the rest of you - cynicism = pessimism = uselessness). Anyway, here is the stuff I plan to "get into" in the next couple of months.

Well, first off, I plan to continue teaching my youth technology group. Hopefully we will be doing a bunch of different projects but first I have to get them all up to speed with fluency in managing around the computer but once that is settled "we'll be cooking with gas"...that was for E if he is reading this from Cabo Verde...Aside from that I am going to begin teaching a night class working with teachers in the local school system that can't access our lab during normal hours because they work the morning and afternoon school slots. Aside from that, I plan on working individually with the group of tech teachers at each of the 3 centers I work with to make sure they know what they are talking about and to introduce them to new educational tools and planning that will help them out with their classes dramatically (well hopefully). Aside from all that techy stuff, I hope to finally make some time to sit down with the medico (doctor/male nurse/not sure exactly the translation) in my town to do talks on AIDS awareness and prevention. In small towns like mine, you periodically here some truly ignorant phrase like I wouldn't touch her or eat the food she makes because you might catch SIDA (AIDS en español). Also, their is the inherent ease at which many Dominicans say racist remarks towards Haitians in this country. Although I haven't yet encountered a legitimate venue to tackle or approach this topic, I am sure one will during my time here as I am so close to the Dominican-Haitian border. Lastly, the geeky mathmatician in me wants to work with math teachers here so I think something is in the works there. Oh! I forgot the one that is most feasible. I also plan to work with a volunteer, Jo, in a nearby town to start some kind of after school program for students with learning disabilities. I helped out with a camp he had organized during the summer targeting that population and enjoyed it so much that I decided to see if he wanted to plan something for the school year. Well, we'll see what happens. I guess that is all of the plans I have for the moment, aside from constantly trying to find or stumble upon cool educational technology tools that teachers can use. I appreciate any online tools, programs, references, whatever that any of you stumble upon. I am always looking for ideas. I just recently stumbled upon Photoshop 7.0 en español...although I still don't know how to use it I am sure that there is a volunteer somewhere in a spanish speaking country that needs it...

I guess there is more I can say but if you really want to know whats making me tick send me an email and I will try and holler back as soon as possible...

Well, the title of this entry will be hard to fully live up to but here goes...

I think that my time in this country thus far has been nothing but an emotional rollercoast that at times I align with depression but now am starting to understand is the process in which I had hoped for: personal growth. I came here in the hopes of finding more direction and purpose with my life but most importantly to find content with myself...I am definitely not there but I am in that direction. I am actively being positive which is something I have always considered fake, ingenuine, forced...but maybe my life experiences have made into a new kind of life-ethic for me...Its not faking it but appreciating it. Its not ingenuine, its inciteful. It's not forced its actively trying to see the good in life. I sound like such a tree hugger right now but this approach is something I am finding to be apart of my personal development...

The med mission went well...translating for doctors, nurses and nursing students was fulfilling in a way that my project hasn't been in these first three months. I took a break after that for a couple of days which helped me out a lot. Then I quickly finished up my diagnostic and presented it on Wednesday. I definitely thought the conference would be worse but it turned out to be good. Project wise, I realize that I can't blame my project frustrations on my project partner nor the project...my frustration comes from my lack of value in the project...I have been labeling this as motivation and I think that instead of making finding this motivation a big deal as I have been for the past three months, I just need to pick small projects to work on and find value as I go along. My project partner is a good worker and I need to appreciate that a bit more.

Recently, something I wrote was published in the pcdr newspaper which was nice...rereading the piece I don't think it was so good but it was a nice feeling to find other people choosing it.... Here it is for those interested readers...its pretty particular to life in this country so if you have questions drop me a line and I'll try to explain parts...

Sitting in the same blue green plastic chair in which he has proclaimed victory in the name of Capicua, in which he has eaten pounds upon pounds of arroz con cualquiera cosa, in which he has tried to explain virtues, values and morals to the muchachitos on the callejon; he now sits watching the sun fall and the crickets sing. He stares into the abyss that are the matas de mango, chino, plantano and is simultaneously living in another world. In this world he is no longer different. The people around him appreciate his opinion. Actions and reactions are not observed as strange but natural. Family consists of those people who truly grasp your personality. Love is defined as blissful reciprocity and not indulgent attraction. Sitting in the same blue green plastic chair, he wakes up in his body in a new world. In this world, mosquitos reign supreme constantly reminding dreamers that life is now and blood can be taken at any moment. In this world, blue green plastic chairs look black...how odd? and people must constantly take advantage of the presence of a certain lady before she is off agan in search of her home or maybe she is hiding from someone?

The dreamer, after baptizing himself in the River DEET, decides to travel to his favorite world. This world is definede by uncertainty as well as a hope without expectations. What intrigued the man most about this world was the possibility that here he might find what he had always looked for: true happiness. Uncertainty, the man realizes leaves little room for planning but he also feels excitement in living in the moment and accepting things as they are. In all the uncertainty, the man sees simplicity. As for hope without expectations, the man sighs with a smile on his face as he writes this. He can't help but try and "dream" his own future with this hope...

A mosquito draws blood once more reminding the man the expectations are for those that live in their heads and that blue green plastic chairs are in fact blue green. At the end of this story the man imagines another world in which all of the previous worlds are all one and the same. Wouldn't that be interesting...

I have more reflections but there is a line in the pc office to use the computer

Today is the second day of a 48 hour strike of the guaguas here in Dajabón and I can think of nothing better because that has done nothing but guarantee a reading day. If there were luz I could work on my Diagnostic but I am starting to realize that I can work in my room at night more efficiently than working at any of the centers. I hope this computer doesn’t die yet…I have my big fan pointed at the computer to help it cool down while its working. Sounds pretty ghetto but I think it has been helping.

The luz just went…no surprise here…its 830 in the morning on a beautiful Tuesday morning here and I am wondering how the next month will go…specifically after August 12. This Friday I have a MiniVac meeting in Manzanillo, luego I goto some town outside of Santiago for a week long Medical Mission (which I am still under prepared for)…after than I have about 2 or 3 days at my site before having to go with my project partner to La Vega at a former house of the infamous Balaguer to give my 3 month Diagnostic presentation. That finishes the 12th, afterwards I am truthfully scared about because up until now, I have had stuff to work towards and they all culminate on the 12th of August. At this time, I should have much more stability in terms of the direction of my project but it feels like the beginning all over again. Mentally, up and down, but that is normal…maybe stable? I am going to end this blog before my computer burns out the processor because the fan isn’t working.

http://www.verizon.com.do/productosyservicios/inalambricos/uno/sms/sms.html

this was taken from a friend of mine's blog page...thanks you know who...

carlos

This really hot summer is about half done and I thought I would be in Puerto Plata (one of the nice resort/beach areas) but plans changed and I am in the capital after having said goodbye to a volunteer who was medically seperated. It is kind of weird to think that a handful of people from our group have left back to the states because of various medical and administrative issues. I have been thinking a lot about home lately and how much I miss my family and friends. I also try everyday to define my motivation for being here with this project...with the Peace Corps...I am getting more content with the idea that I am actually here to work on myself. It sounds messed up, but it reality it is true. While I am here I will try and help people as I can but bottom line right now is me...I would appreciate comments on this for those few readers still tuning in.

Next week I will be translating for a medical mission of doctors from the US who are coming to a town outside of Santiago. I am looking forward to the experience. After that I have my first Peace Corps required area meeting where I have to give a presentation of my "Diagnosis" of my community...I am believing more and more that the word development doesn't have all of the positive connotations I once thought it had...I would rather just concentrate on personal relationships...

By the way, this is my link to my photobucket account for those who want to see updated pictures...I will try to update it from now on. So long for now

http://photobucket.com/albums/a347/ecualombian/

Today was a pretty cool day. I woke up mas o menos temprano to help another volunteer Jo on his summer camp with kids with special needs. They were working with a cool literacy program that seemed to engage them. I have been feeling more upbeat about life again. The past month was riddled with sick days, cases of the "Mundies" and malnutrition...lol. This month is hopefully a turning point. I have already begun to involve myself in activities that catch my interest more. I am beginning to attend a community development group in my town, plan on making an interactive community facebook/map of the community with the help of the medico in the clinic in my town, I am working with two youth groups (still not functioning but I am hopeful)...Personally I have been getting in a routine of actually doing "exercise". As anyone reading this that truly knows how much of a loafer I really am at heart knows this is a challenge for me but along with 20 minutes of yoga and hours of reading I do each day I am beginning to find a more peaceful balance to my life here in Santiago de la Cruz. As for the rest of today, he ate lunch, drank a Presidente and are going to give a despedida to another Volunteer, Lisa, who leaves Partido (a nearby town) on Monday to travel South America for a year...reminds me of the story of Che Gueverra...I better stop thinking about it before I fall in love again...Adios to my amigos y familia back in the states...

carlitos, el chino

So today is my fourth day in the capital and I think I might be going back today. I came here to take a break from my site as well as get checked for any parasites, amebas, and other goodies that might have crashed the party inside a glass of water here or there but all the tests came back negative. The nurse did tell me that I have lost weight. I am currently at 135 which I don't remember being since high school but that may be exaggerated. Anyway, they have me drinking Ensure which I hear is an old person nutritional supplement...it tastes alright. I haven't really resolved all of the issues that I have with my project but I am more optimistic about the immediate future. I am attempting to start reading the Bible and I would like to read more Buddhist / Eastern philosophy type books but the peace corps library didn't have any...I read a couple of pages of catch 22 and didn't have the patience to try and read anymore...I'll try again in a couple of months...as you can tell I ran out of update...I will hit this back up soon...later people.

So I woke up today having one of those days where someone might say is a case of the “Mundays” but it isn’t Monday! Lately, I have been getting more frustrated with work or lack thereof and feel as though atleast at this point, I am not accomplishing or doing anything. Lack of structure is what the Peace Corps is about, I realize that, but even when I am at some scheduled event (reunion) I feel as though I am not contributing that much. Also, whenever it comes time to teach these IT classes I am back to my square one issues of whether what I am doing is worthwhile…bringing IT to the campo level I mean…Anyway, I will end this blog update on a high note.

Last Sunday, I had my second non-IT youth group meeting….I gave into their pleas and showed them how to say some colors, some numbers and some basic body parts in English. Along with that activity, I read them this reflective anecdote (in Spanish) about how you should treat others the way you want to be treated and more so that the face you bring is the face you receive. I think they enjoyed the meeting. I am trying to have a weekly meeting with them because they don’t really do anything aside from school and play baseball or clean. I like the group of kids I work with and I know word has gone out already and I may have to introduce a new youth group for a part of town called El Plan who has plenty of kids who aren’t doing anything…not sure what I am going to do with them next week but I am sure I’ll think of something.

So as you can guess, I have been reading like crazy here…in fact, last week I think I read 4 books…or something like that….I just finished reading, Einstein’s Dreams, which was very cool…it was a fictional portrayal of dreams Einstein had leading to his theory of time. The dreams have to do with different ways time could be represented and some of them, although crazy, seem at times quiet plausible…I recommend the book to anyone interested in a philosophy type fiction book that is easy to read….I am now reading for the 2nd time (hopefully this time I finish) Dominican Republic: A National History. Haven’t gotten up to Trujillo but I am getting there…It’s a shame the deep level of history and conflict between the Dominican Republic and Haiti. It manifests itself on a daily basis here and many kids don’t even know why there is that conflict but they learn to exhibit it nonetheless. Sometimes I really do feel that learning about history allows people to live in the past instead of changing their lives in a new positive direction.

Aside from reading I have been getting better at Dominos. In case the rules are different in different countries I will briefly explain the rules here. Four players, two teams as a game of spades would be played. Double six starts the first round of a game and each game goes until one team reaches 200 points. If after the first domino is placed the next person can’t go the team that put the first domino down gets 25 points. During the game, if someone puts a domino down and no one can put down a domino except for that person, their team gets 50 points, each time it happens. If a player puts down a domino and no one (including that player) can put down a domino it is called, “Trancado” or Stuck. In this case, the person who trancado-ed compares the total points on the dominoes in their hand with that of the next player on the opposing team. The lower total team wins that round if trancado. Winning consists of summing up the points on the remaining dominos that haven’t been played at the end of round. Otherwise, if the game is not trancado, the game ends when someone dominos (plays their last of 7 dominos down). Wow, rereading this reminds me what a messy programmer I am.

So as for seeing more of this country, I am planning on possibly going to Monte Cristi this Saturday for the day to experience a day of relaxation on the nicest-closest beach around here. I have been waiting all week to go and it will be well earned. The graduation plans for Aguacate (one of the 3 labs I work with) are still flimsy and the graduation is scheduled for less than 2 weeks away. I plan to go back to the capital at the end of the month and only hope that it is not too late…(there was hidden meaning in that, that I am not even sure what is)…

I appreciate the responses if there are any. I am going to try updating the Spanish blog now….this a much more arduous task…oh, and feel free to hit me back with ideas for possible paths when I come back…here are the few off the top of my head: goto grad school for psychology, be a math teacher and have summers off, do another term of Peace Corps (not in a spanish speaking country), become a consultant for international companies in Latin America (whatever that means), goto med school, look into programs, thinktanks, whatever that are REALLY working on how to use technology to improve peoples lives for the better, work one year as a consultant or engineer and use that money to live comfortably for the rest of my life in the Dominican Republic (by now I am sure my mom and dad are nervous – don’t worry these are all just off the top of my head)…

Miércoles, 18 de Mayo de 2005

Jeez, it has been a while since I last updated my Weblog but this will be long so you are all in luck. Yesterday, was my grandmother’s birthday. It was then I realized that 1) my grandmother is 83 years young and still her lively self, 2) that it was May of 2005 and not 2004, and 3) that that meant that I had been out of college a year. When I told my friend here that I had done nothing for a year, they immediately responded that I was a Peace Corps Volunteer and that that meant something. To this I quickly awoke from this day dream that has been the last year of my life. So it turns out I have been a volunteer for almost two weeks now and have already dealt with such typical PCV problems as having the rain cancel my meetings, bitten by hundreds of bugs, run into multiple tarantulas (baby tarantulas included), felt so frustrated I said the phrase “it is going to be a long two years” (in the same day saying “Maybe I can do this after all” after the kid across the street gave me two mangos while I was on the phone with a friend in the rain), felt frustrated with my Spanish as well as multiple other asuntos that I can’t think of right now.

Since being here I have had loads of time to myself. It is daunting being in charge of your own schedule. I have always professed that I am horribly inefficient in unstructured situations. At the onset of my experience in the middle of Dajabon here on the northwestern part of the Dominican Republic, I am finding that to be both true and false. True in that I have found planning my schedule to be impossible when things such as rain and apathy prevent me from any kind of regular schedule. True in that I have spent a whole day in my house doing nothing but try and organize my project plans only to realize that I should have been meeting the still unknown community I am living in. True in that I have thus far fallen into following the schedule given to me by the non-profit I am working even though it hasn’t really amounted to any real efficient use of my time. False in that I have been able to read my first Spanish book, El Alquimista (someone out there knows that this was a very big accomplishment for me). False in that I am beginning to realize that if I want to survive my time here I have to learn how to slow down my constant need to be efficient and learn to relax and cogelo suave. False in that I have spent most of the nights this past week getting better and better at dominoes and spending time with my Doña and the dominoes crew: Chuchi, Momena, Candida, Ariel and Doña Anacaona (my Doña). False in that I am beginning to realize that the next two years are going to be what I make of it and if that means that my main job is becoming a real member of this community then maybe that isn’t so “inefficient”.

I wish I had more time to write so you are getting a paste from an email I just wrote...take care all of you :)

Today, the PC Dominican Republic assigned me my site of service (i.e.

the town I will be in for 2 years). The name of the town is Santiago

de la Cruz and it is 15 minutes southwest of Dajabon which is directly

on the Dominican Republic-Haitian border in the north west of the DR.

I am working with a pilot project sponsored by Verizon and a local NGO

to promote a new model for telecenters in the DR...currently there is

another company called World Links sponsored by the World Bank setting

up telecenters across the country. The town I am going to be living

in supposedly has 7000 inhabitants. I will also be working in 2 other

computer centers (each with 8 computers each no internet) in towns

where the population in the paper work I got said between 400-600

inhabitants...There is a chance that because I am working so close to

the border I will have to be trained in Creole as well as my spanish.

Aside from that I haven´t had time to read all of the details because

I have been packing as tomorrow I meet my project partner from that

community and the next day I am going for a long weekend to visit the

site Santiago de la Cruz before I actually go there after I swear in

as a volunteer...The only thing I heard was that every weekend in

Dajabon (the main city about 20 minutes from where I will live that

sits on the border) there is a huge market where Haitians and

Dominicans sell all types of goods with mostly the Haitians selling

goods and the Dominicans selling food products...their economies for

centuries have been forced because of climate and geography have had

two very different product economies and these kinds of markets (this

apparently being the best of them in the country) are the continuace

of this trade amongst the two countries who have a very vehement

relationship with each other....The other two things I heard was that

my project partner likes to fish in a resevoir dam somewhere in the

vicinity and that a town 20 minutes in the other direction is the most

tranquilo town in this country...not much bulla (noise). Aside from

that I can`t tell you much more but after my site visit this weekend I

should have more details..

So yeah, it is now the Sunday before I leave Veragua back to the capital. On Friday, I´ll be in Santo Domingo to stay for the weekend before I leave on Wednesday for “My Site” which I will find out on Monday. This is the town where I will be stationed for the next two years. After 6 weeks in Veragua, I have grown comfortable with the family and community here and sad to leave. At times, training was busy with Spanish classes and “technical sessions” but overall, the most I learned from this experience is with expectations. At times I expected the community to respond a certain way because that is the way that I would respond. This at times led to frustration because of my own need for efficiency. This is Peace Corps. Looking back, training couldn’t really have turned out more or less successful. I learned that patience and clear communication are going to be my greatest assets in the coming months. I only wish I had much more time to “prepare ideas” for my site. The problem is that preparing is really not necessary nor desired. You see, I am finding that clearly defining my job at all for the next 2 years would be doing these communities an injustice. One of our responsibilities as PCV’s is to make a community diagnostic of our site in the first three months of training. In that respect, I will be formalizing what I had already planned on doing which is truly assess to the best of my ability how the community runs and where there are areas in which I can assist. More and more I am finding that this most likely will not include a great emphasis on Information Technology but those are also responsibilities that I am accountable for during my time here. It will be interesting to see how I balance this, because from my perspective after May 7, my time in this country will be what I make it…no real deadlines, no real structure, hopefully no problem….although for those of you who know me well..you know I have always been unproductive when left to my own devices. I guess I am forced to grow up a bit at this juncture in my life.

Last night was an interesting night full of multiple learning experiences. First off, although heavy rain forecasted disaster, we had some 200 people come to our movie night showing of Perico Ripiao. This movie night was scheduled as a fundraiser to begin the fund of money that the computer center here will be based off of for such things as maintenance and salaries of workers. We had to set up inside school classrooms which made for an impossibly humid atmosphere where many people didn’t have seats. Anyway, what I really wanted to write was how a miscommunication led to a cultural learning experience. What happened was a community leader had arranged a meeting of community members to organize the movie night logistics outside of the technical stuff which we were supposed to have covered. Anyway, what ended up happening was that we ended up having two groups: us and them trying to organize times and what not and I think what it ultimately came down to was us (Peace Corp Volunteers) trying to do everything for them. The movie for those who are interested is a Dominican comedy that pretty much is a Dominican three stooges comedy. I feel as though when I bring it back to the states, I can show people words that are just Dominican and all that jazz. Anyway, I realized that I think training with 2 other PCVs made having such events more difficult as we all want to take on responsibility and it seems as though the most effective matter in terms of development is to let the community take hold of a project.

Talk about becoming integrated into the community...in eight days I have been to mass seven times. One of the times was a ceremonial mass where the priest washed the feet of 12 men in the audience to signify Jesus washing the feet of the 12 disciples during the Last Supper. I only went to wash but because I was one of the few people on time to the mass, I was chosen to be one of the 12 to get their feet washed. I was hesitant at first to participate this week to give the wrong impression that I feel as adamantly about catholicism as the community does but I have since justified to myself. In a religious sense, I was baptized Catholic and share many basic beliefs with the church...for example, the washing of the feet is a strong representation of humility and how having such a characteristic is something very admirable and useful in relationships in everyday life. I have been back and forth with the whole organized religion thing. On one hand I feel that most people who go don´t get anything out of it and go moreso out of guilt, or just because their parents make them go. On the other hand, in this community I have seen it act as a unifying force of the community. People know each other because of the church and I have no doubt in order to get any kind of community work done in this town it will have to be through the church. Fundamentally, the basic treat your neighbor as you would want to be treated philosophy of most religions I feel fall in line with my own views and actions so I see myself less and less as someone ¨religious¨ and more and more apart of the community of those people who want to figure out the best way to live for themselves. Aside from the religious side of church attendance, it has been a solid way for me to get my face out into the community and have them know who I am. This week was a somber one but I feel as though I am learning to take things a bit slower which is nice...who knows, maybe I´ll even learn to relax...Don´t hold your breath.

carlos

So I have been here in Community Based Training for about a week and a half now and it is even better than training in Santo Domingo. I am living with a great family who all have worked hard to accept me into their family. As catholicism is a pretty big part of the Dominican culture, I have been attending a lot of Semana Santa activities such as masses, walks through town, charlas, and other community get togethers. I here everything will shut down this weekend and that the streets are literally empty and quiet.

So far, it has been the same old spanish classes in the morning but we have now been expanding our vocabulary to hardware and software terms that we will invariably be using in our teaching. As we take apart computers we are learning the vocabulary of the piesas inside the computadora. For the geeks out there, I met a current volunteer who is trying to make an educational Knoppix CD in spanish...have no idea how but I am pretty sure I am going to help him and the other volunteer geeks in making it as it sounds useful. Aside from that part of training, I have slowly started doing everything slower...the lack of electricity sometimes for days at a time has made my goals for the day (todo list shorter and shorter) but I have been compensating by having conversations with loads of local dominicans and trying to improve my spanish.

Its crazy to think that I'll be here for another 5 weeks...I am already working with other volunteers to organize a fundraiser for the centro de computadores, youth group activity, identifying how a centro could benefit local businesses, and also, learn dominicanismos along the way. My hair is getting longer and they keep calling me "Chino" but that's cool. I think I am going out dancing with some Dominicans this weekend at some point so I have no doubt that will be interesting.

So the sentence summary is that life keeps moving and I keep on thinking more about development, service, self-improvement, and patience. All is well and I hope more for all of you who have helped me get here.

Carlitos

Yesterday, ended our first phase of training. Monday, we begin our 6 weeks of technical training on the northern coast of the DR. I will be staying with a new host family there that I will probably not know until I get there but I am getting used to PC not telling me everything before I go anywhere. I am both anxious and excited about going. I am very interested in learning all the nifty spanglish technical terms in information technology so that I can effectively teach classes when necessary. Yesterday we found out that one of the volunteers decided to go home. It made me reflect on my own reasons for being here and how I know that I am going to be challenged with loneliness, frustration, and healthwise. Truthfully, I am probably in over my head but because I have been doing so much so quickly I probably don't realize it. What will undoubtedly happen is that when I am sent to my site, I will get there and have a culture shock of how little old me can get valuable things done here. Anyway, we had a little PC social last night and it was pretty cool, I got to talk to a bunch of the volunteers a bit more although I still feel a bit of an outsider which is really an unusual feeling, but good for me I think. Anyway, I'm not sure how the internet access is going to be over the next couple of weeks so keep checking for those who care. I have been feeling surprisingly well for having a concentrated amount of vaccines the past week. Typhoid I hear is the one with the worst repracussions.

It is weird to think that next Wednesday I will have been here a month already. Time flies when you are bored as hell in spanish class. I was reading a lot when I got here but that has stopped as I have now spent my time, slowly but surely, writing everyone personal letters although chances are that most of them will never reach there destination. For those reading, I appreciate real mail and I still have yet to receive even one real piece of mail, woe is me...lol. Anyway, hopefully I'll have some rocking stories to tell in the coming weeks. The most "interesting" thing I can speak of is that I got third place in this merengue dancing competition at a Pasadia celebration we had ending our first part of training. Naturally I was robbed (lol) but such is the case in this country. Until next time.

-carlitos

apodo: el chino

I just thought I´d share this quick thought with those of you who care. One thing that I really never appreciated while in the States was water pressure and also running water and further running tap water that was drinkable. One day I hope everyone is fortunate enough to take, as what I have begun to name, the ¨Bucket Shower¨. This, as you guessed, is a means of taking your shower with one bucket of cold water and a cup. I have already gotten used to it but consider this to be the first of many tid bits that hopefully make it back to the States so that those reading appreciate the joy of water pressure. Clean drinking water out of the tap does not exist in the DR, which translates to buying nothing but bottled water or filters...but you´ve guessed it, many of the rural pueblitos in this country can´t afford such ¨luxory¨ and are forced to deal with bacterial diseases, etc. Anyway, this was meant to be more of a notice to appreciate what you have, but it seems to have turned out to be something much more depressing. Maybe, it has to be sometimes though...

Food For Thought

.carlitos

pictures soon to come...although if anyone knows how much space blogger gives that would be appreciated...if not a lot some mit webspace would be appreciated...hint, hint...or whatever...alright..that´s it

el chino