Numerology! Soul Urge: 37 / 10 / 1 (Vowels: EIIIE)Your Soul Urge - The Song of Your Soul - A Deeper Look Into What Motivates YouThe Soul Urge number has also been called Heart's Desire and Spiritual Urge. It is our secret, innermost longing. Our dream, our motivation, the fuel that energizes our journey. The Soul Urge number reveals what we secretly strive to be or accomplish. Some have said that this number tells us what we have been in previous lifetimes, the accumulated growth of our soul.

You are the essence of individuality and independence. You are intense and convicted when it comes to defending your beliefs, as you never doubt your inner strength and ability to handle any challenge. Many are inspired by your confidence, while others may feel irritated and view it as arrogance. You are likely to attract people and situations that allow you to express this part of yourself or else they will mirror these traits back to you.

Personality: 42 / 6 (Consonants: RNKRKBRD)Your Personality - The Impression You Make upon the WorldThe Personality number describes the way we appear to the outside world, the first impression people have of us. We may not even be aware of how we are perceived by others because we are so often focused on our inner world, and many times the inner does not match the outer. Personality gives us a peek at some hidden talents we have. The talents that we use to get along in the world and in some instances, protect us from it. It is likened to a bag of tools (jewels) that we carry with us along the way.

People and animals are attracted by your maternal nurturing and affectionate appearance. It feels good being around you, as you are always looking for ways that you can make someone more comfortable. Your home is probably beautiful and welcoming too. You dress to reflect your harmonious and comfortable nature.

Expression: 79 / 16 / 7 Your Expression - Character, Talents and Identity - Your Unique Quality of ConsciousnessThe Expression number shows us who we truly are, what we came into this life already knowing. This is where we feel most comfortable and how we automatically act. We attract people and situations to us that require our Expression so that they can further evolve. In this way we play the role of teacher. Naturally we are attracted to occupations that we resonate to, so the Expression number can be a strong factor in our choice of a career as well. Our Expression is the vehicle, with all its virtues and vices, that drives us along the path of our Destiny. It is the essence of our identity.

Yours is the path of the mind. Silence and solitude are your doorways into the deep recesses of the mind and the universe. You are the philosopher, the analyst, the seeker and if you'd be willing, the teacher. The time and energy that you spend discovering the microscopic core of things has gifted you with the ability to tap into psychic energy. It is with this energy that you can separate the true from the false.

Well, it killed some time...not much though.

You.

Can.

Only.

Type.

One.

Word.

Not as easy as you might think. Remember: one word answers.

1. Where is your mobile phone? lap

2. Your significant other? done

3. Your hair? curly

4. Your mother? working

5. Your father? working

6. Your favorite thing? comfort

7. Your dream last night? nonexistent

8. Your favorite drink? juice

9. Your dream/goal? enlightenment

10. The room you're in? library

11. Your ex? angry

12. Your fear? loneliness

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy

14. Where were you last night? capital

15. What you're not? animated

16. Muffins? tasty

17. One of your wish list items? laptop

18. Where you grew up? suburbs

19. The last thing you did? print

20. What are you wearing? jeans

21. Your TV? nonexistent

22. Your pets? disappeared

23. Your computer? slow

24. Your life? limbo

25. Your mood? down

26. Missing someone? yes

27. Your car? huh

28. Something you're not wearing? socks

29. Favorite Store? calzado

30. Your summer? unending

31. Like someone? yes

32. Your favorite color? purple

33. When is the last time you laughed? today

34. Last time you cried? recently

Hi everyone!

karlita inspired me to write this by reminding me that this group exists! It has been inactive for a while, so in an effort to pick things up a bit (and see who is still out there....), here is a question:

What do you do (think, say, read, etc.) to remember the teachings of the Course, and to remember to apply them to your daily life?

I've been taking advantage of free wireless internet in the city to research graduate schools. I'm looking at programs in Library and Information Science because, of course, that's what I want to do. I want to do distance learning because I really don't want to go back to school in person. So I've basically narrowed it down to like 7 schools, and really narrowed it down to 3:

Valdosta State University

PROS: CHEAP!!! Like, the whole program, tuition and fees, at the current rate would cost under $7000. That is freaking awesome. They also have a couple of interesting concentrations available, and since it's in state, I have the option of taking "hybrid" classes where you have to actually show up every once in a while.

CONS: It's Valdosta State University

University of Wisconsin--Milwaukee

PROS: Good name; relatively cheap for an out of state program; can be completed 100% online, so I would never have to go there

CONS: Although relatively cheap, it'll still be over $23,000...that's still a lot; it can be completed 100% online, but you don't get as good of a selection of classes

University of Arizona

PROS: Good name; relatively cheap for an out of state program; almost entirely online

CONS: Would still cost over $25,000; I would have to go to Arizona for a week long orientation; wouldn't get a full selection of classes since not ALL are offered online

So what do you think? The only thing that Valdosta State really has against it is that it's Valdosta State, and that it's a brand new program (but really that's not that bad). But it's an accredited program, it's geographically available (without flying), and it's CHEAP!!!!

So do I go to the cheap but less good school, or pay the big bucks for the good name?

Right now I'm leaning to sucking it up and going to Valdosta. Come on, no more student loans (or minimal loans). Sweet.

BUT TELL ME YOUR OPINIONS!!!

So, I realized recently (and it´s sad that it took me this long to realize it, but you know, I´m just now getting around to thinking about moving again and stuff)...I am really never going to get to live with Becky again. That´s sad. The times that I lived with her were really the best living situations I think that I´ve ever had. :-( Maybe we can be neighbors at least. Or maybe I can come over and just sleep on her couch sometimes, if Matt doesn´t mind...

Hey Georgia people--especially those GA people who are now teachers, and ESPECIALLY if you are doing the fast-track thing. I have a question for you:

As a school librarian (or whatever they're called now) needs to have a teaching certificate, can a person, after they get their master's, get a job at a school library and do the fast-track thing to get the teaching certificate? It makes sense to me, but then again, I don't really know about the fast-track program. So please tell me! It's important!

Thanksgiving was awesome. Peace Corps DR does a Thanksgiving party at a resort in the capital every year, and we all went last year, but this year Maureen, Julie, Erin and I decided that we wouldn´t go and that we would do our own Thanksgiving with our Dominican boyfriends, friends and families, and real American Thanksgiving food (but unfortunately no pool).

Well, we didn´t have water, lights, measuring cups or spoons, cooking utensils, or half of the ingredients that we needed, but we had our will and determination, the improvisation techniques that we have honed over the last year, and some great Dominican women helping us. We also had the realization that you don´t REALLY need to measure ingredients. Or refrigerate.

And everything turned out GREAT!!! The food was awesome, and once the Dominicans got over their fear of our cooking, they ate almost everything. We ended up feeding almost 30 people. We had turkey (brought live from the campo in Elias Pîña and killed in the the evening before), ham, stuffing, moro de guandules (rice and chickpeas, we didn´t want any scared Dominicans to go hungry), mashed potatoes, spinach salad, carrots, cranberry sauce, homemade mac and cheese, cornbread, carrot bread...there may have been more, I don´t remember. We also had homemade pumpkin and apple pies for dessert, and pumpkin cheesecakes.

We are so awesome. I can´t believe we pulled it off.

Oh! And since Jory came to the capital for dinner and we didn´t have a bed to sleep in for 2 people, we went to a hostal and I had my first hot shower in like 15 months. It only lasted about 5 minutes, but it was great! And they had AC and a pillowtop matress!

All right, I can't promise that I'll make a consistent effort to update this thing, but I'm making an effort right now, and that's what counts.

*The national Escojo conference was Monday-Wednesday of last week. Escojo (short for "Yo escojo mi vida," "I choose my life") is the HIV/AIDS course for youth that we do. Despite some minor issues with half of my group backing out at the last possible minute, the girls I did bring and I had a great time. They learned new things and met new people, and I sat around with my friends and got to eat 2 pieces of cake. And best of all, we all made it back alive and well, so their parents didn't put their trust in me for nothing.

*The general rule here is that people die in clusters, which occur about every 6 months, and we are in one now. In addition to the 5 or 6 other people in neighboring towns that I don't know that have died in the last 2 weeks, my neighbor to the left, Gloria, died last week (she was relatively old and chronicly ill), and then Rafaelito hung himself (completely unrelated to Gloria). That one is more upsetting, just because he was closer to my age and we hung out every once in a while. He was always friendly, but very quiet, and nobody had any idea that the problems that he had were that severe. People are convinced that he did it because he owed some money that he couldn't pay back, but he only owed like RD$10,000 (about $300 US). It doesn't really seem like something you might kill yourself over, but hey, who am I to make that decision. Anyway, it was also more upsetting because half the street went over to look at him before they even took his body down. Is that really necessary?

*Now that I've cancelled most of my meetings for like 2 weeks (for the Escojo conference and now the funerals), I'm worried that I'm not going to finish my current training groups before all of the business in the capital starts in mid-November. I suppose I could get out a calendar and actually find out, but I don't really want to look at the calendar right now.

*Otherwise I think things are going pretty well. My cat (Palito de queso) is doing well, as far as I know. Things with Jory have been going very well (up until last night, he is pissy about something he won't tell me about). I should be getting back on track with work by tomorrow. And I'm going home in less than 2 months now for Christmas.

So that's it!

So Peace Corps officially won't let me go home for Becky's wedding, which really pisses me off.

However, in an attempt to look on the bright side of things, this means that I can come home for Christmas! And hopefully Becky will have more time to hang out when she's not worrying about wedding stuff.

SO I will be coming home Dec 13-Jan 2. Please, nobody buy me a Christmas present, because I cannot afford to buy YOU a Christmas present! However, do make plans to come and pick me up from my house to hang out with me! I won't have a car, but I will have time, and I want to see everybody! I also want to eat a LOT of restaurant food. I plan to be nice and gordita by the time I come back here.

So start making plans!

After 45 minutes waiting for this shitty dialup to connect, here I am! My life is really sad.

So I have a youth meeting this afternoon at 5:30pm. Here´s hoping it goes as well as last week, but that may be wishful thinking. Even scarier, tomorrow is our first activity. I´m a little nervous, given the number of things that can go wrong--the truck, the driver, the gasoline (if there´s no gas, we´re not going--I have no money), the food, the cooking of the food, the number of kids wanting to go, the quality of kids wanting to go, they´re behavior there...kids getting heat stroke, kids getting drunk and drowning in the ocean, etc. I imagine it won´t look good if I come back with fewer kids than I brought. I should make them sign a waiver.

Wish me luck!

So things here are going pretty well. I'm trying to be slightly more motivated and to care about my job. It's hard, but it's working for the time being.

I am conflicted. Here is the conflict:

*If I stay here with this job for two years, I feel like I will be wasting my time. This community doesn't need my help. I will be organizing nutrition courses and youth groups that I'm not even interested in, and biding my time for two years until I can do something else. Plus it's really fucking hot and sunny here. I think I am developing SAD, but just because there are no other seasons (except for hot and hotter). It's summer all the time.

*The alternative is leaving. If I leave, I'm really going to miss it here. Im going to feel like I threw away what might be my one opportunity to do something interesting, and what might be my one opportunity to live here. Plus I will probably go back to school, and I'm pretty sure I'll regret leaving here the first day of the first class I have. I really don't like school. Sometimes I daydream about what I'd be doing now if I were there. Sometimes it makes me happy, but sometimes it makes me realize that I should take advantage of what I have here while I'm here.

This is making me think that I'm just never happy with what I'm doing at any given time. I'm always thinking about something different that will supposedly be better. And so far it never is. I'm hoping that this is just because I haven't found the right thing yet. But maybe that's just how I am.

On a different note, it smells like an elementary school cafeteria in this internet cafe.

Hi everyone! Long time no see! Well, maybe not, but I don't remember when the last time I updated was, and I don't feel like checking.

Things in my site are slowly but surely getting better and better. I have made a couple of real friends and so now I have people I can hang out with and talk about nothing and not feel like I'm the token American with. This makes me VERY excited.

I've been at my site for about 3 weeks now. That leaves 2 months and one week before I can move out of my host family's house and into my own house. My project partner keeps picking out different houses that will someday be mine. I think we're on the 4th now. If she doesn't change her mind again, then I will be in a freakin awesome cement block house that's pink and blue. I haven't seen the inside yet, but it appears to be a standard 2 bedroom house. It might even have a room to bathe inside, though i'm not sure about the toilet vs. letrine situation. It has a yard and a big awning thing in the back covered with palm leaves where you can sit in the shade. It also might have a place for a tinaco (a big plastic barrel that you put on the roof to collect rainwater so that when there's no water, you can still bathe and stuff) (that is, if I can afford a tinaco); that is very exciting given that my community seems to get water like 1-2 hours a day, if that, and if you don't catch it then and collect it in as many buckets as you can find, you're screwed (and dirty).

I started doing interviews for my community diagnostic this week. I did 30 in 2 days! This was very exciting for me, although the interviews themselves were pretty boring. I have to do 80 now in Belloso; I'm going to start them this week, and my goal is to do 10 a day to get them over with. I will probably only be able to work a couple of days before people start getting really into Christmas and I won't be able to accomplish anything. But I have plenty of time in January, so I'm not too worried about it.

I was thinking about it the other day, and Becky, Katie, Kate, Avital, and any other West GA readership I might have--we've known each other for almost 7 years now. 7 freakin years. That's a long time!!! And I still love you guys!!! Hee hee. It's weird to think though. And when I come back, we'll have known each other for 9 years. That's almost a decade! Sheesh!

I'm slowly but surely formulating my next crazy plan for when I am done with the PC. I'm thinking nursing school. I talked to Michael about it this morning, but Katie, you were in the shower, and though I'm sure he's told you, here's what I'm thinking now. West GA has what is apparently a pretty good nursing school. According to Katie via Michael, college credits don't expire. So I'm thinking I might look at West GA for nursing school when I come back. My logic is this: there are already some people there that I know and love and miss a lot, it's more affordable than some bigger schools, it has a good program, they seem to have a variety of scholarships available, and theoritically they will more willingly accept my core credits because, damnit, I got them there in the first place! How does that sound? So all of you college-y people out there, investigate for me--is it true? Do college credits really never expire? And is it different for major-specific classes and core classes? I need your expertise and your virtually unlimited internet time here! Help!

Ok, that's that for now! I miss you guys!

All right, one "week" at my site! I actually didn't get here till Tuesday, because Santiago was flooded by the time we got there on Monday afternoon, but that's ok.

All is well here so far. I'm pretty proud of my progress over the last few days. All I'm really supposed to be doing is getting to know my community before I start my community diagnostic, so instead of sitting by myself and reading my book all day like I would like to do, I actually go out for a few hours a day to meet people. So far I've met a couple of cool people, and a lot of nice people. I've seen pretty much all of my community (as far as i know), and I got to see the river yesterday. The views around my campo are AMAZING. You should come visit me!

The only downside of my site is that my host dad seems to be a pervert. So that means that when I am at home, I spend an awful lot of time locked in my room. It's really starting to freak me out. I'm going to mention it to my boss when he comes to visit on Tuesday, but I don't really know what he can or will do about it. There is no good solution. Even if i can move to a new family, I will have to explain why to the entire campo, including my host dad's WIFE. I don't really want to cause that kind of scandal my first week here. But can I really avoid him for the next 3 months? Jesus christ. But my room has a lock on it, so I just hide in there.

Anyway, that's the story for now! Now YOU have to update!

I´m really going to try hard to update this thing more often...

So training officially over...thank god. This has been an incredibly stressful couple of months, and a mindbendingly stressful past few weeks. I am so emotionally drained...on top of that, I literally can´t seem to stop eating. I am dulce-obsessed. Anything with sugar, particularly chocolate, I´m on it. My test is going to be when my Dominican jeans don´t fit anymore; then I´ll know I´ve gone over the top. I think I´m compensating for the fact that I really want dulce de manì, this peanut brittle-type snack but made with milk. It´s AWEsome, but I haven´t been able to find it outside of La Capilla. Goddamn. And I´m pretty much banished by Peace Corps from ever visiting that community again.

Oh, and I miss milk too. I don´t think I´ve had real milk since I got here (I refuse to drink it straight out of a cow). And I miss water fountains. And COLD. I´m sweating my ass off here.

We`re officially moving out to our sites after this weekend; I´m trying to see if I can´t put it off until Monday morning. I think my site is beautiful, and I see the potential of eventually being happy there, but I really just don´t want to do. It´s awkward and I don´t know anybody. I don´t feel like meeting anybody. I want to relax for a while, and not have to be `on` at all. I want to sleep. I DON`T want to talk to my community contact person. I want to hang out with my friends here.

But that just tells me what I´m already feeling. So in an effort to turn things around, here are the things I can look forward to when I go to my site:

cherries

el play

beautiful surroundings

being in the place that I will be for the next two years

Pata-blanca, the puppy

the kittens

not having to live with my Santo Domingo doña anymore

not having my day to day activities mandated by Peace Corps or Entrena

no more Entrena!

visiting Villa Isabela

visiting La Isabela and the beach one of these days

hanging out with Melissa

Well, that`s something. Half those things involve leaving my site, and half of them are things that I would get even if I were allowed to stay in Santo Domingo, but whatever. I´m trying here...

One of these days when I get my flash drive back I´ll put up some pictures for you guys. Until then, I love you!!!

Holy crap...so much has happened, even since the last entry. But I don´t really feel like talking about all of it (most of it isn´t good) and I think I feel some gastro-intestinal problems coming on that may require me to get to a bathroom very soon...so I´ll do what I can.

*I DID officially swear in as a PC volunteer yesterday; I´m no longer a trainee, and I no longer have to deal with the evil that is Entrena.

*I am moving off to my permanent site on Sunday. My site is called Belloso, and it´s in the province of Puerto Plata on the northern coast of the country. It´s beautiful, it´s set between green rolling hills, and it´s main crop is cherries.

*I don´t want to go to my site...it´s beautiful, but I´m TIRED of meeting new people and having to make to friends. TIRED!

*I´ve made some great PC friends, and some great PC enemies. But I would like to say that I love you to Melissa, Maureen, Megan, Glenn, Ana, Erin (Iris), Julie, Adrienne, Idonah...and many more. I´m going to miss you guys so much!

*There has been so much f-ing drama these past few weeks that I can´t even talk about. I literally think I need counseling. Thank you so much, US government.

Wow, that doesn´t seem nearly as dramatic as the past few weeks and months have been. You´ll just have to trust me I guess.

Remember people, I only really have time at the internet cafe to write to the people who have already written to me--they get priority! There are a lot of you that I really miss that I haven´t written to. Pleast write to me, even if it´s just to say hi! I love you guys!!!

Holy crap. There´s so much to talk about that it´s not that I don´t know where to begin, it´s that I don´t think there is a place to begin. But really, any attempt I make is going to have to be made later, because I have an appointment with Pizza Hut. So suffice it to say that I am back from the campo, in the capital now until Tuesday, and I seem to have survived (hopefully without any lasting side-effects--cross your fingers). I´ve been back an hour and I already miss the campo. Hell, I missed it when we were pulling out of my yard. I´m sad...

I don´t really update that often (obviously) and I realized that it´s nothing here seems that interesting to me any more. I can´t think of anything exceptionally exciting that´s happened here to update about. Today, for example, I woke up, got ready, and ate breakfast. The morning excitement was that there were ants toasted into the bread of my sandwich. The grossness is that I was hungry, so I just scraped them off and ate it. I didn´t want to embarrass my host mom, nor did I really feel like having a conversation with here, so I just didn´t worry too much about it. Then, as every day, I went by Glenn´s house and waited for him to finish breakfast, and we went to Entrena (the training center). I bitched about my host mom the whole way, and he bitched about other things. Sometimes you just have to bitch. So this morning I gave my Spanish presentation. It really represented all 3 hours that I had put into it. I don´t think they´ll really fail me though if I at least did it, and my report was pretty good (I think), so I don´t really care. Then we had lunch. For the first time in weeks I actually ate lunch. I had quit eating it because my doña insists that I eat dinner, and a lot of it. So if I don´t eat lunch, then I can eat twice as much at dinner, and she bitches slightly less. So it was really a stupid idea of me to eat lunch. And all I really wanted were some fried green plantains, and they didn´t even have any. So today we had training sessions on diet maintenance in the campo, and sexual assault and HIVand AIDS. I´m sure any current and former PC people remember that incredibly uplifting getting-AIDS-in-the-PC video. Hmmm, then I hung out at Entrena for about 10 minutes and realized that I didn´t really feel like hanging out with the same people I´d just seen for 9 hours. So I went home hoping that I would arrive in time to catch my doña before she started cooking. No such luck. So I bathed and then she insisted that I eat dinner (un chin chin = a tiny bit =half a chicken, potatoes, carrots, rice, and beans, and grapefruit juice and water = my doña is obnoxious). So I shoved the food down my throat and came over to the internet cafe. It was full, so I took a nap for 45 minutes and came back, and here I am! Woo hoo!

Hmmm, what else. The training sessions have been slightly less boring this week. Less on PC philosophy and geographic regions of the DR and more hands on stuff. Yesterday we had a self-defense session that was kind of boring until out of the blue Glenn barrelled over and picked me up and threw me on the ground. Apparently I didn´t learn much self-defense, because all I could do was laugh. And I did manage to hurt one of the guys who attacked me. I guess those months of Aikido paid off... I managed to hurt a friend! Woo hoo! Anyway, hopefully we won´t need it, but an interesting little fact we learned is that PCVs in the DR report more harrassment than in any other PC country in the world. It´s definitely not hard to believe.

Hmmm, what else. We are leaving for the campo (el Callejón de Cabrera) on Monday morning, and I´ll be there for 6 weeks. In some ways I´m looking forward to it, but in some ways I´m not. Number one, I´ll be very limited on communication. They don´t even have landlines there. But hopefully we should get into Cabrera or Nagua once every week or two, so I shouldn´t be TOO out of touch.

All right, that´s it for now! I love you all!

When I think about making an entry here it seems to end up being (in my head) something that should be friends only. But really most of it is presentable to the general public, so I think I´m going to make most of it public and save the juicy stuff for a friends only entry. We´ll see how long that lasts....I´m guessing until tonight when I go back to being lazy.

But for now! I thought I would tell you a little bit about my barrio. I was walking home today from my taxi and thinking that if any of you come visit me, I will probably take you here to meet my host mom and eat some Dominican food and stuff. Then I realized that it´s kind of gross here. It´s amazing how quickly I stopped noticing it. There´s always some mystery liquid running down the side of the road. Often it´s a mixture of neon green and black. The streets are covered in trash, which actually works out well for the dozens of stray dogs that I see every day. They make me sad, but they seem to get enough to eat. In addition to the dogs the streets are covered in some cats, chickens, other birds, rats, and garbage. And tigueres, which are the young hoodlum/muchachos/gangstas. They´re the main ones who hiss at you when you walk by, but really a large percentage of the men and boys here do that. They also yell vulgar and some not so vulgar comments when you walk by. I don´t look males over the age of 10 in the eye anymore.

Normally my barrio is very noisy (people everywhere, loud cars and motorbikes, chickens, dogs, music blasting, etc.) and hectic, but this weekend was pretty crazy. One day people were robbing women on the bridge in the early morning hours. Then another day a Dominican girl about my age was killed my a car on the highway while she was waiting for a taxi. Then the other night I was sitting on my porch with my neighbor at about 10pm. It was dark but the street lights had finally come back on (the electricity goes out here every day, sometimes for like 15 hours a day). We were just hanging out and talking and we heard a little extra noisiness in the streets. By the time I got up to look one of the tigueres had beaten some other guy to the ground with a metal pipe. It was over fast and not pretty. I was unceremoniously shoved back into my house. After the tigueres headed up the street to do whatever they were going to do, a group of the doñas (presumably their mothers) headed up to reign them in. It was all in all a very odd and uncomfortable situation (even moreso for the guy on the ground).

So anyway, I spend much of my time at home here hanging out on the porch, and occassionally on the neighbor´s porches. There is never a lack of people! I don´t watch much TV here (my doña has a TV that I can use when there´s electricity), but the telenovelas don´t really interest me too much. I also get some homework from training, so I have to do that too. The thing that sucks the most (aside from the 8-9 hours of training a day) is that by the time we get home, we only have like 2 hours of daylight left, and it takes me an hour to bathe and eat dinner. And when it´s dark I´m not really let out of the house alone. Luckily I´ve made pretty good friends with my neighbor, so if I need to go to the comado or something after dark, he can walk me.

Hmmm, let´s see, what else. The other volunteers are nice, but I´ve only made reasonably good connections with a few of them. I´m within walking distance of a nice store called la sirena that´s kind of like a super-walmart, as far as content goes. I´ve learned to ride guaguas (little buses), carros pùblicos (shared taxis), and motoconchos (motorcycles or motorbikes). I generally feel like I´m going to die everytime I venture into some form of public transportation, but I´m getting better at relaxing and accepting my imminent death. Let it be known that at least I died happy!

Tomorrow morning I´m leaving for Monte Cristi to visit a current volunteer for 4 days. Then a week later we head to Cabrera for community based training. I´ll be there for 6 weeks, and don´t expect to have any internet access while I´m there (they don´t even have landlines). So email me now!

Ok, I think that´s it for now! I miss you all! I love you!!!

La Rubia

So I'm going through the process now of seeing people for the last time. It feels like every spare moment I have is spent hanging out with somebody, possibly for the last time (at least in a very long while). And while I am enjoying spending time with people, and I know that I will miss them, I really don't feel sad. I don't feel anything at all. It's like I'm not even going anywhere. Maybe I'm just really ready to go (it's been over a year now since I applied). Or maybe I'm just cold and emotionless :-).

I wanted to hang out with Justin tonight, but I was talked into changing my plans. It actually works out better schedule-wise this way, but I feel bad changing my plans. At least this way I'll get to hang out with Justin more than I would have tonight.

Anyway, off to go hang out with more people. Who would have ever thought that I would end up with this many friends? And that it would kind of end up biting me in the ass ;-).

Man, you'd think that 2 weeks before I'm moving to the DR I would have something to update about, right? But I don't really feel like I have too much to say. I'm back at my parents' house now after a week in Ohio and five days in Florida. Ohio was nice and relaxing. It was good to see relatives and that town is so freaking cute that it makes me want to settle down and buy a house and start crapping out babies. I had about 5 days in between Ohio and Florida and I managed to sell my car in that time; the whole thing went very smoothly, so that was nice. I also got to go to the aquarium with Justin and spend his whole birthday with him; I felt very special that I got to have a monopoly on his birthday :-). Then on Friday we went to Florida. We spent some time in Jacksonville with Jason's sister, then went to Orlando to go to SeaWorld, and then to Tampa to go to Busch Gardens. It was all awesome, especially given that I really didn't feel like going on vacation any more. I just wanted to sit around in my pajamas and watch TV. But SeaWorld was really cool (we almost got to pet dolphins) and Jason surprised me at Busch Gardens with one of those "safari" tours where they take you out on a truck and let you see all the animals. We got to feed and pet giraffes! It was freakin' awesome. The little tour also includes beer, which made it more fun--and I don't even like beer!

Anyway, so that's about the month of August so far for me. I now have about 2 weeks before I leave, and quite a few things to do in that time. I also have no car, which really sucks given that many of the things I have to do consist of visiting people (only a few of whom live in Duluth). So anybody who really loves me will work with me to make arrangements to hang out with me ;-). Or at least they will not be all offended if we can't and will still love me and write me letters while I'm gone :-D.

Things to do (that I can remember):

*Order a new debit card (check!)

*Put mom on bank account

*Take old mp3 player to shop to see if it can be fixed

*Sell my rolly backpack

*Clean off computer

*Sell computer

*Hang out with people: Jason, Becky, Katie, Justin, Karl, Colleen, Jonathan, Melanie, Jon, family, Natalie? (and everyone else!)

*Go to this "going away party" my mom is having for me

*Get Jason's birthday present together

*See movies: Idlewild, Little Miss Sunshine, Wickerman, Snakes on a Plane?

*Watch the end of the 4400

*Get House Season 2

*Finish crocheting my afghan

*Clean out my stuff that I'm going to store

*PACK!

*Fill out staging forms

*Do power of attorney forms

*Write a will

*Contact IRS for power of attorney info.

*Pay of credit card

*Cancel cell phone

*Get 3 months worth of prescriptions

*Write letters

*Hang with my kitties to make sure they remember me :-(

And for now, sleep!

P.S. It still doesn't seem real.

This is pretty cool:

http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2001//thesweetestsound/popularityindex.html

My last name is 16,987!!!

...I'd probably be even angrier. Today is the last day of our lease out in the ghetto. We had to have the keys turned in at noon today, and we both have to work today, so basically we had to be ready to drop them off this morning. We didn't finish moving and cleaning until fucking 4am. And then I woke up at 6:30am to come to work, and I will probably be here for most of the day. My hours for today are 8-1pm, but I have at least 3 big work tasks that I would like to finish up (as much as humanly possible, anyway), plus several smaller miscellaneous tasks, PLUS since it's my last day AND Rimo's last day, we have to have a little party (which I appreciate, but that's 1.5 hours that I won't be working). Plus I have to clean up my desk and my computer. Sheesh.

So yeah, I'm pissed because Jason packs SO SLOWLY. At 1:30am we still had a living room full of mostly his stuff. I took my first load to Duluth in the morning, and all he had accomplished by the time I got back was folding his laundry. After my second trip to Duluth in the evening, I came back and his entire progress consisted of unloading the refridgerator and taking the contents to his dad's house. There was of course packing and moving in between those times, but not nearly enough. Apparently they decided to take advantage of the trailor he had gotten for the weekend to move his step-sister out of her apartment, which she was supposed to be out of a few months ago. Ok, that makes sense. Use the trailor to use the big stuff, and then take care of the little stuff later. So they had it all day on Saturday. Then Jason decides that, after he takes a load of stuff to his dad's house, he'll go and help his sister move out some more. I am all for helping people out, but we have fucking deadline! She is already several months late in moving out of this apartment, so what the fuck difference does a few more days make? I am still so VERY pissed off (perhaps because of the 2.5 hours of sleep I got), and he knows it. I'm not sure if he knows that I consider a large chunk of it to be his fault. I think I can sleep a lot tomorrow. At least more than 2.5 hours.

In other news, Monkey and Kiki are in their new home for the next two years. Kiki was pretty pissed and Monkey was pretty disturbed, but all in all they seem to be taking it pretty well. Kiki whipped out the soft paws of fury on Wrinkles and Wrinkles got all upset. Monkey explored a little and was ok with Wrinkles sniffing her, so that has potential. Tiger seemed generally uninterested. I'll see how they're doing when I get home tonight.

I'm excited that it's my last day of work, although I don't feel excited. Maybe that's because all I feel is TIRED.

You Are: 20% Dog, 80% Cat

You are are almost exactly like a cat.

You're intelligent, independent, and set on getting your way.

And there's no way you're going to fetch a paper for anyone!Are You More Cat or Dog?

I'm not too good at updating this thing...

Nothing too interesting is going on. My last day of work is July 31--hell yeah! I am SO excited. Since I don't work on Fridays, that amounts to 5 days left of work, 5 hours each day. Possibly one trip to Hart County. I'm excited, and also a little overloaded with work. I have WAY too much stuff that they would like me to "finish," but that will never happen. I will make a valiant effort, but it won't happen. So, since I've accepted that reality, I really don't feel that bad about it (clearly, since I am wasting time updating my LJ).

My lease ends on July 31. I've been kind of half-assed packing, but really that means I started off June and July really enthusiastic about the ongoing packing process, but that has tapered off to just having open boxes constantly sitting in my room while I relax and don't think about it. I can't really talk about it or try to get Jason to help me because he'll get all upset. He is very unhappy about this whole me moving thing. When I think about it, I'm upset too, but I think it's easier for me just not to think about, especially because I have something exciting to look forward to. I'm quite sure that I will be very upset at the end of the month when I realize that it's the last time I'm going to live with him :-(.

In August I will no longer be working, but it seems like I might end up being a lot busier than the month of boredom and relaxation that I had originally anticipated. The week of the 6th my mom and I are driving up to Ohio to visit relatives. Then on the 15th I'm taking Justin to the aquarium for his birthday. Then shortly after that (August 18th I think) I'm going to Jacksonville and then to Busch Gardens and Sea World with Jason. We'll probably be back around the 21st. That week I really have to make sure to sell my car, because I don't want to have to renew the tag. And then I will officially be dependent on the transportation of my friends and family :-(. Apparently one of my parents' neighbors wants to have a going away party for me (despite the fact that I haven't seen her in about 5 years), as do my aunts. I told my mom that I would attend if she wanted me to, but really I'm not so much into that whole party thing. Oh well, if it'll make her happy I'll go. I'm sure she'll want to go out for my birthday too, as I deprived her of celebrating my graduation. Then on September 5 I'm off to Miami. At some point during all of this I have to hang out with my friends too, which will probably include numerous trips back to Athens.

I officially have about 6.5 weeks until I leave for staging in Miami. I was thinking yesterday how funny it is that "doing the Peace Corps" has changed from a very fantastic, romanticized thing in my imagination (like it was the first time I applied) to something that is now very real. But at the same time it's not very real. It's real in that I have to deal with all of the logistics and nitty-gritty details of planning and leaving and filling out forms and such, but it's not real in that I've gotten reasonably good at "living in the moment" (it's less sad and nerve-wracking that way), so right now I just feel like I'm hanging out and working in Athens. And then I'll be hanging out in Duluth. I'm sure as soon as Sept 1-ish hits, I'll realize that it's coming, but right now it's not quite real (and not quite romantic).

I'm sure my mom is going to cry when I leave, and I'm positive that Jason will too. And then that's going to make me all sad. And I don't want to be sad, this is a happy and exciting thing. But I suppose that's normal. I don't know what's going to happen with me and Jason. I'm ok with staying in touch while I'm gone and seeing what happens when I get back, but I don't want either of us to be in limbo for the next two years waiting for each other. I'm 100% sure he will say that that's fine with him, but it is not fine with me, and I am not planning on giving in. That isn't going to be pleasant. Poor Jason.

*************************************************

In other news, I need new jeans. I have one pair, and I don't really like them that much--they're too light and too loose (too much stretch in 'em). But I hate shopping for jeans. I think I might have to splurge and get some that are not on sale so that they'll at least fit me decently.

Also, we're going to The Cheetah tomorrow for Katie's birthday! I'm excited to see Katie, I'm excited to wear my new pretty dress, and I'm excited because I've never been to a strip club before. That will be interesting ;-). I will be PISSED if anyone buys me a lapdance though!