First of all, I am full heartily apologetic that I have neglected this blog. I know I have a small following (though I'm not sure how frequent you all come here now-a-days due to my lax mindset) but a following is a following and I need to take that into consideration, right?! Right.

So here are 23+ photos from our 23 day bike tour we cycled our asses off during the entire month of September. We completed over 1,850 km over the course of 23 days (including two rest days each a week apart). It was one of the hardest things I've done in country but also I am so glad I decided to participate in the entire tour and COMPLETED it. :]

*Note: The distances posted are the projected distances, many times they were 10-15 km longer but some days the gods of google gave us a few km off

Day 0: Karfigula! We (Kelsey from AMERICALAND, Rob and I) were on top of one of the few tourist-y spots here in Burkina Faso, the cascades! No swimming for us due to Schistosomiasis... look it up, it's something you don't want. Tomorrow's our first day of biking.

Day 1: Karfigula - Orodara :: 65 KilometersBike Glove Club: Missing a few key players (Jon, Anne, myself, Rob and Chris)We're clean, excited and don't quite know how over our heads we are at this time...

Day 2: Orodara - Bobo Dialasso :: 80 KilometersWe're in the South West region of the country where hills and valleys plague the roadways. I'm sure this is me exhausted and just wanting to show the world how much my legs are working. A picture doesn't do it justice...

Day 3: Bobo - Bereba :: 102 Kilometers...This is the day Google Maps decided to lie to us all and add on about 30 kilometers. We (Rob and I) got lost on the way to Bereba (Ali's site) and ended up having to call the car due to the fact we road out 20 km, then had to ride 20 km back to where we took a wrong turn. Needless to say, it was a long long long day.

Day 4: Bereba - Dedougou :: 119 KilometersPhoto Credit: SaraI was officially in the back doing my thing. This is the front of the group (Chris, Jon, Rob and Ali) leading us to Daniel Doval's site in the big city of Dedougou.

Day 5: Dedougou - Tenado :: 106 KilometersAll dirt roads today but according to Jon and Daniel that's just fine. I had stopped to take a break a the fork in the road and these two were only about 2 minutes behind me... Dani showed up shortly after that. After stopping in Tchiriba (spelling is completely wrong, sorry) and buying my oh so special fat man, Rasheda and I biked at a very leisurely pace to Tenado.

Day 6: Tenado - Koudougou :: 45 Kilometers Dusty dusty sandy hot roads. Ew. One of our few short days... We made a stop in Reo to make some Neem Cream (anti-mosquito cream) with Lindsay's association. Met some Brits and all was well in the world.

Day 7: REST

Day 8: Koudougou - Latodin :: 100 Kilometers Perks of leaving at 5:30 in the AM... beautiful sunrise ALWAYS.Downside... getting up at 4:30, and packing the car at 5:00

Day 9: Latodin - Bissiguin :: 106 KilometersStopped on the side of the road and found these kids with Chev. She asks if I want to take a picture of them... I say, "no, not really" and then I pull my camera out. I make sense.

Day 10: Bissiguin - Koussouko :: 65 KilometersDance parties are always necessary with my life partner, Chev. This was either Wiz Khalifa, Tupac or Rhianna. Yea, you're jealous.

Annnd Rob's bike is more than half my size. My hand points to where his seat hits my waist. I don't understand how tall he is. He later took my bike a rode around. He looked ridiculous.

Day 11: Koussouko - Sabce :: 48 KilometersMy two favorite people in this country. The last 4 km to Sabce were a bitch: rocky, sandy paths up and down (mostly up) hills. Not fun. Not fun at all.

Good news, got to show off my fat man (and friends) in order to repackage him to go off to Ouaga where he waited for me 'til the tour was finished.

Day 12: Sabce - Kaya :: 65 KilometersPavement for a few handfuls of kilometers and then dirt road from there... and water? This is how all the bike tour participants caught schistosomiasis. Just kidding, mom (and country director)... but no, really. We rode through lots of water!!

Day 13: Sabce - Boulsa :: 78 KilometersAnother medium sized day. Chev and I took a good amount of breaks this day for dance parties and photo ops. This is her being quite deranged due to the fact that our driver hadn't checked up on us in quite a while and our water was so LOW! Contemplating using this dirty rain/excrement/onion watering water...

Day 14: Boulsa - Bilanga Yanga :: 80 KilometersMore water that we crossed over... I literally believed I would be washed away as I was biking through the overflow from the dam. This is us celebrating our survival.

Day 15: Bilanga Yanga - Fada :: 70 Kilometers...The projected kilometers would have been correct if we had been able to take the direct route from Bilanga to Koupela and off to Fada... but instead we had to go this absurdly long way due to construction on a dam or road or lake. Anyway - the road was flooded into a oceanic lake. We ended up riding 134km that day.

Needless to say our day off was much needed.

Day 16: Fada :: DAY OF MUCH NEEDED RESTAlong with sleeping in a bit, we were privileged to participate in a mostly Burkinabé run fair which was set up by the three musketeers in Fada: Joey, Louis and Scott. They're real troopers setting this thing up.

ps. Rob is a creeper

Day 17: Fada - Nakaba :: 83 KilometersThis is the infamous day Hilary learned how to ride her bike without hands through my persistent coaching and encouragement. Good job Hil!! You're doing it, you're doing it!

Day 18: Nakaba - Tenkodogou :: 80 KilometersGood ol' drafting mentality finally came into play this day. We had lines and lines of us just drafting off of one another. Great most of the time, bad when people follow a little too closely and then eat pavement. Ouch!

Day 19: Tenkodogou - Beka :: 108 KilometersI was really excited about visiting Beka (for my second time!) and seeing how Josh and Ashley have survived their first (many) months of marriage life and living together. The village had lots of music and dancing when we arrived and (of course) Ashley fed us oh so well when we got to their place.

This was our escort to Beka... huge guns are always necessary?

Day 20: Beka - Po :: 82 KilometersAnother VERY early morning. I especially love this photo. Everyone is working by headlamp, flashlight or by your phone light. Bike maintenance and packing the support vehicle.

Day 21: Po - Leo :: 124 KilometersThis was the second longest day of the tour... and to make things even more intense it was ALL (except for maybe 20km) on dirt roads. We left Po and went into Nezinga Park and hoped to spot some elephants (no luck) and went out towards Sourou via the Diallo - Po road and cut away from Sourou to get to the main road and down to Leo we went. Bright side of things: Rob and I found this guy in the middle of the road and got distracted for about 7-10 minutes! He then decided to hiss and attack my head due to the fact that Rob tried to take him off my sleeve... it was, perhaps, the most frightening moment of my life.

Day 22: Leo - Gallo :: 80 KilometersChev's house has a major mouse problem which just got worse... her evil mice (who eat EVERYTHING: even fake grapes and then die on the floor only to be found a couple weeks later, ew) had babies!! I found one. Rob and I named him Fifel. No, I didn't eat him. We let him go to nature... he was probably a great meal for a large bird or cat.

Day 23: Gallo - Ouaga :: 80 KilometersPhoto Credit: ScottWell guys. We made it. It was great sunny weather all throughout the tour except for our last day heading into Ouaga... around 8AM it started to down pour and didn't stop until we got into Ouaga around noon. This is a picture of *most* of the riders throughout the tour. Yellow is for all the permanent riders and the red or green and white shirts are for people who joined us.

I hope you all enjoyed this. I am sorry I took so long to put this up. I've been thinking about posting it for a while but I've been busy with all kinds of other things that I'll go into when I write my next post... which might be tomorrow! :]

ahhhhh!!!

These guys have been spotted on numerous occasions while biking out on brousse (out in the bush/woods). Every time I see them they are in this humongous swarm; all moving as one, all crawling on top of each other, all together. Haven't seen them anywhere else in the country... but I'm sure they're out there - lurking and overflowing with swarminess...

I hope everyone remembers what kind of projects I mentioned in my last update and how I was sure these things would be completed within the short time frame of being home (aw. at site)...

So, I put my foot down and was determined to start, conquer and finish an accelerated HEARTH model: a workshop for mothers with moderately malnourished babies between the ages of 6 - 9 months which lasts for five to seven days meeting each morning to make enriched porridge and discuss certain health related topics. phew!

I talked with my wonderful counterpart Allisone to get the ball moving and we decided to work with five women for seven days (we ended up working with four of the five women due to the fact that on the day of the baseline we found out one of the woman's baby was five months and couldn't participate in the program). These women all had babies between six and nine months of age. We started on a Friday (really, I suppose technically we started on the Thursday to obtain the baseline and weigh the babies) and continued until the following Thursday.

First two days: Nutrition; the three food groups (enérgetique, constructeur & protecteur), how to use them and why. We played a game to gage the women's comprehension of the lesson... it was fun. Then we talked about malnutrition and the two types prevalent here in Burkina Faso (Marasmus and Kwashiokor)

Next thing I know the women trick me into letting them off for a day (for church, of course, pff) and then they end up not showing up for two more consecutive days. Boo. The first morning after church I went to the maternity and waited there for about an hour until I finally went to their individual houses to see if they were there or not. Well, they were. I found Martine just making some tô for her family and when I asked what she was doing and why she hadn't come to the session she said "oh, we can just do it tomorrow right?" blargh. No! I found the other three women doing the same thing and I told all of them I'd be waiting for them at the maternity... they didn't show. The same event occurred the following day and as soon as I was about to call it quits the fourth day they all showed up... well, three women showed (hey, it's better than NONE!)

Fourth day: Family Planning; why it's necessary to take time off in-between birthing children, contraceptive options in Sourou (Depo Provera, male condoms and birth control pills), how to properly use a condom (all seven steps).

Fifth day rolls around and I'm pretty content on just having a five day formation now... it's better than nothing and it's at least something that I can work off when I get back from the tour. I wait at the maternity with high hopes of the women showing up on time, being interested in the discussion of family planning and making enriched porridge again...

an hour passes...

No one shows up. Take a breath. Okay. I guess they don't want to show up again. I'll come back again tomorrow - I won't give up on the workshop. The next day rolls around and the same thing happens and I'm completely deflated. One more day left and I ask myself if it's even worth staying in village to wait it out or just to go up to Ouaga or another village to help out another volunteer. I decide to stay.

New plans. I'll plant my mango trees (I bought three of them: one for the CSPS, one for the school and one for my family). I go to the CSPS Friday morning and plant the tree with Allisone. I also waited for the women to show up (I really wasn't expecting them to... but you never know)... they never did. So. Three disconnected days of a HEARTH workshop and one day of planting trees.success?

Here's an itty bitty update.Ready?

I went back to site two days ago for the first time in quite a while. It was amazing to be back. Everyone was extremely excited to see me; they all teased me about being gone for so long and, of course, asked me if I brought something back for them, but to my surprise it was all very nice. One of my moms helped me sweep out my dusty house (so nice!), the CSPS staff was genuine and listened to my future project plans (surprise), the marche ladies were ecstatic to have me back (and buy their food) and my favorite mom scolded me while shaking her finger and counting the weeks I've been gone, but immediately afterwards went through the whole spcheel of salutations.

I'm doing an accelerated HEARTH model starting Friday. It will be a week long formation with five women and their malnourished babies (between the ages of 7 - 10.5 months). We will meet each morning for an hour and a half to make enriched porridge and go over certain health topics: the lesson plan will break down as follows...

Thursday: Record Weight of BabiesFriday: Pre-Test, Nutrition. Lesson on NutritionSaturday: Lesson on Nutrition. Post-TestSunday: Pre-Test, Family Planning. Lesson on FPMonday: Lesson on FP. Post-TestTuesday: Pre-Test, Malaria. Lesson on MalariaWednesday: Lesson on Malaria. Post-TestThursday: Final Test. Each woman will present something they learned over the past six days. Record weight of babies.

I'm really excited!!

I'll also be :

making some anti-mosquito cream with a group in a satellite village using natural, reusable ingredients.

teaching women how to make liquid soap

planting nine moringa trees and three mango trees

biking around

Once September rolls around I'll be biking all around the country. That's what the last post was about... please donate what you can so we have the funds to do projects like the ones listed above. I'll be participating in the entire tour - 23 days of non-stop biking. Whoo! It'll be quite a challenge, but I'm looking forward to it.

Until next time.Take care.

Second annual Bike Tour kicks off the 31st of August, 2011.

I'll copy and paste the informational letter here:

Dear Family and Friends of Peace Corps Burkina Faso,

Beginning August 31, 2011, Peace Corps volunteers from around Burkina Faso will be participating in Le Tour de Burkina, the second annual country-wide bike tour to raise money for Gender and Development projects in Burkina. Gender and Development projects encompass a huge variety of volunteer projects, be they organizing a girls’ camp to promote self-esteem and goal setting or helping a women's group conduct an income generating activity. These are of critical importance in Burkina Faso and represent a significant component of each volunteer’s work. The Gender and Development (GAD) Committee exists to support volunteer-initiated, gender equity projects around Burkina Faso; with Le Tour de Burkina we hope to generate funds so the GAD Committee can give small-scale project grants and volunteers can continue the essential work of promoting gender awareness and equality in Burkina Faso. We’re proud to say that last year’s tour raised nearly $5,000 – enough to fund 35 GAD grants.

Please help us reach this year’s fundraising goal of $6,000 by visiting our blog and making a donation: http://burkinabiketour.blogspot.com To be certain your donation reaches Gender and Development projects, be sure to specify

“GAD Gender and Development” in the Comments section.

In Burkina Faso, one dollar goes a long way, so even the smallest contribution will make a big difference. Follow the blog to learn more about the tour, which projects were funded last year, and to stay updated while we’re on the road. This year we will be riding for 23 days, covering 1,700 kilometers (that’s the distance from New York City to Orlando), and passing by 32 volunteer sites. In addition to kicking off celebrations of Peace Corps’ 50th anniversary, the tour will increase awareness of Peace Corps Burkina Faso’s activities and reinforce the relationships within volunteers’ communities.

Thanks for your support! Sincerely,Peace Corps Burkina FasoGender and Development Committee

This is just to let everyone who is following my blog that I am truly sorry that I haven't written in a thousand and one years!! I've been busy with my personal life and my professional life. I'm planning on periodically updating this thing just as it comes to me. I will no longer take things from my journal - they seemed to be too personal... which some people may appreciate, but others may find TMI.

So.

That's it.

Keep tuned in.I promise I'll write something soon!!

Undetermined day in March… Sometime between Tuesday and the following Tuesday I swear – sometimes I want to scream at people here. Okay, maybe not, but I honestly don’t get it when kids and even teenagers stare at me when I’m not doing a damn thing. They treat me like an animal at a zoo (at least it’s not a petting zoo, huh?). But all this little girl has done all morning is stare at me. I wake up and look out to the courtyard and I see this girl sitting directly across the way from me… I fall back asleep for a little while, wake up again and there she is… just… staring. I sit up and look around and now she’s moved to a spot where she can stare some more… seriously? Really, is it necessary to keep an eye on me at all times? Am I really that interesting, scary, magnificent, grotesque? I mean, come on – my life is not that exciting. I do not do extraordinary things. I can’t breath fire. I can’t fly. I can’t even play soccer.

Tuesday.15 Mars 2011 Good News: My bookshelf suddenly appeared at my house today… and it grew legs and an extra divider! YAY Bad News: My BugHut’s zipper died today. I’ve sewn myself inside for tonight… suppose I’ll deal with that tomorrow. In other news – I learned there’s a lot of racism in Germany according to my friend at the CSPS? Good? Let’s go back to today and the fact that I am unable to write ledgably this evening (scribbles and scratches mark my journal). What’s up with that? Woke up late (8:00 (almost)) and decided to PAINT! my walls that is. And because I ordered my bookshelf from Sapouy the other week I thought it would be smart to paint the wall I will be putting it against. SO, I get to paintin’ and start off with Beyoncé and I singing a duet of “If I Were a Boy” – for some grand reason, I am loving that woman right now and have since I arrived in Africa. Adam, you can suck it! She’s good. Do you hear that voice?! So I dance, sing and paint for about 2 ½ hours and then after being the sweatiest person ever I causer with my neighbors who are building a house (yea, another one). They tease me and ask if I want to help throw this cement/mud mixture up to the man on top of the wall they’re building up… I was going to… but didn’t know exactly how and didn’t want to slam mud onto the side of the wall… or on the man standing next to me. Then I went inside to eat breakfast and read some more of Bill Cosby’s HILARIOUS “Love & Marriage.” Right as I’m getting to a good part I hear a really loud moto pull up and immediately get annoyed because I think it’s one of the extremely annoying men who just come to my house (thinking they’re badass on their moto) just to saluate me… and then make fun of my inability to speak the local language… BUT… I heard my name and I go outside and see the carpentor and my bookshelf on my patio! Yay. It’s finished and pretty much exactly how I wanted it. I take paint out and paint it immediately! Gave the guy 10.000 CFA and a big cup of water. That jerk asked for more money because he had to transport it on his moto instead of his car that was mysteriously broken. No sir, I will not pay you more. The thing was already way overpriced. Bon, got that done (painting the unit) and then went inside, cleaned my house, brought the unit in (by myself, by the way… that thing was heavy!) and oh my goodness it looks great! I am so happy with it and can’t wait to finish painting my house – right now it’s just ALL white (at least the walls I have conquered) but it will soon be yellow and I’ll have a green bedroom. Really thrilled. No joke. Finally, I take a bucket bath around 3pm and go out to the taillor to diminuer a dress I got from the grabbox at the transit house, talk with some people and then buy key ingrediants for dinner (had fideo & yes, it was delicious as always). Then went to the CSPS to causer and thus I learned about racism iin Germany and also was told I will be learning how to make peanut brittle and tô tomorrow! A fantastic day I’d like to confess. Tomorrow is baby weighing and marché – should be a good one.

Friday: March 11, 2011: 1:33

In Ouaga and can't get to bed. I told myself I'd go to sleep a long time ago and yet, here I am.

I'm hot. I'm exhausted. I'm restless. I'm thirsty. But mostly: I can't shut my brain off.

I've been chatting with a few fellows from Americaland this evening and will have to say, overall, I'm confused. I'm happy, but confused. Talked with Scott and was told that women have an overwhelmingly persuasive power that they hold over men. Okay - check. I know this and sometimes I take advantage of that fact and other times I'm scared by it and push it away. Next came Jarred - none of my letters have gotten to him. Disappointment. He has become so "NY" and such a ladies man! I can't wait to share some nights with him in the big Apple. I am promised food, bath and dancing. Yes. All fine with me. Lastly came Adam. Oh, what can I say about that man anymore? It's such a tug-of-war with him, my heart, his heart, his wants, my situation. He tells me one thing and then says another. I told him he's in a contradicting funk right now and that he's running around in circles - turning around and yelling at his shadow. I told him I will disappear. He doesn't want that. But he wants to try his luck with his new fix. But blames me for being in his head. Again. I can make him forget me easily. I have those capabilities. I can shove his out of my life - but I don't know if I would ever let him in again if he chose to take that option. I'm to the point of not even seeing him when I come home in December. I may just fly into NY, layover for two days and then fly down to Houston and stay there - well, I'd have to visit San Marcos to see Ashley and I may, no, I have to go to Austin to see Mel, Steve and Bish (maybe do a shoot... for old times sake? ha). But really - if he wants things to work with him and his PYT then I will respect that. Though I'd also love to go see him and show him what he's been missing and choosing to pass up. It just seems complicated right now and it is, of course, nine months away. No need for me to fret.

Only thing I need to now is that I'll layover in NY and then fly to Houston.Good plan.

"... of a humanity that no longer knows anything and no longer remembers anything and lives in cities without names where the streets are without names or with names different from those they had yesterday,

Because a name is continuity with the past and people without a past are people without a name."

-Milan Kundera

Sunday: March 06, 2011

This proves my fickleness: I uttered the 6 words I NEVER thought I'd say:

"Maybe I will stay three years"

Oh boy. Here's why: I thought about how long (such a short period in the whole run) I've been at site - it's been six months: from September to February - and I thought about all the things I have yet to do... I have yet to causer casually and consistently with my family compound. I have yet to learn all their names. I have not entirely made up my house. I'm just now painting the inside of my house. I ordered two chairs and a table. I'm getting a shelving unit made. I haven't even hung pictures up because I was waiting to paint. SIX MONTHS. So - as I do - I thought about my potential projects: HEARTH model will be held back for a while because I've been gone so much. My moringa seeds have not been touched because I don't know what or how to make a pepinaire. Gah. By this rate I may only get a couple of HEARTH models in, few demonstrations of enriched bouille ... and maybe teach a health class at the primary school.

So - because I want to do work I said those terrible six words

I take them back

Side note: some bug is frantically trying to either get in my bughut and attack me or just crawl underneath it. Of course I think it's a scorpion carrier, but at this point it's hard for me to care.

I've moved my tent from one side/corner of my patio to the middle - I'm gonna see if I sweat as much here - as I did there. I'm thinking I'll be moving on into the middle of the compound soon enough. It's HOT and I'm pretty sure I'm in a constant state of perspiring... and not just a little - but like the way Dad sweats profusely after washing his car, taking a shower and standing under a fan... and still is dripping sweat... for HOURS.

Yea.Constantly.

I hope heat rash doesn't plague me.

05 March 2011

I am so fickle. I hate it. I hate that I feel pushed and pulled in so many directions. I so want to do a good job here in Burkina Faso. I want to learn the community: the language(s), the people, the food... and yet I'm such a coward. I want to do work but just don't know how to get started. And then - I have an urge to go home and finish what my words started and begin my life. I have an eerie feeling that if I go home anytime soon - that's all I'll know and I want to open my eyes to the world before then.

Pushed to stay herePulled to go back

Alas, today was pretty fantastic - drawing the kids in my family courtyard. I am slowly learning how to GIVE IN when life throws me curves... all part of allowing the flow to take you where it pleases. I just wanted to be alone when I went out to write... and then a crowd of children surrounded me and were not letting up on breaking into my personal bubble. I resisted. But I gave in... and I'm so glad

on a bad note:

SWEATRUNNING DOWNMY NECKBACKFACEARMSLEGS

ew.

Friday: March 04, 2011

Second day of ear piercing and all is well. It's not incredibly swollen, nor does it hurt more than it should. I can move the plastic earring up and down with ease so there is minimum blood, puss, plasma excreting from the newly opened hole. good.

I had an incredibly lazy day (not planned). Got up around 9 because I had such a hard time sleeping (partly because of my ear and partly because of the heat) and so my intention was to eat breakfast, take a bucket bath and head out to the CSPS. Well - at least my intentions were good, right? Instead I walked, rather paced, around my onesizefitsall and made chocolate peanut butter oatmeal (yum!) and finished reading "Another Roadside Attraction" by Tom Robbins. Not sure how I feel about the entirety of his first novel, but there are plenty of quotes/idiosyncrasies that I adore. So, overall - it was well worth reading. Next I thought about taking a bucket back because by this time of the day I'm sweating just from sitting in my house but get distracted by my computer and decided to watch a movie - really - I just wanted to see what one particular movie was about (and yes, this is rare that I get to watch something at site... one the rare occasion that my computer is charged from a recent trip to the city)...So I've heard good things about this movie: Inception. Well, I'm completely stuck within the first 5 minutes - so mind blown, confused, intrigued... yea - looks like I'll be watching this.

Ew. I have sweat just D R I P P I N G from me and the sun isn't even UP! It's almost 8pm. WTF Gross.

So back to the movie - it was fantastic - and I so wish sometimes life were more like dreams, or rather, I wish we had the option to live in our dreams sometimes. So good. Must see that again and own it when I'm back in the States.

The rest of my day consisted of finding a new book to read: "The Book of Laughter and Forgetting" by Milan Kundera. seems okay right now. And then I ate a late lunch (around 3 pm) and then went to the pump 4 times to fill up my blue garbage bin.

Oh my gosh - I despise how men here believe with all their might that they are the superior of the two sexes - that they have the right-of-way in every situation and they deserve to be first at everything and what they say is the law. Bullshit. I tell you, absolute B U L L S H I T. Even the teenage - possibly even preteen boys think their word is greater than WOMEN twice their age.

So, this group of boys came to the pump and completely tried and succeeded to take control. There are some girls who just have a small bottle they'd like to get filled and put it under the "fosset" and the boy who's pumping (power hungry for sure, or just an asshole) knocks the bottle out of the girls hand and the other boy shoves her aside and places a big bidon under the faucet. I get up, pick up the bottle - remove the bidon from the faucet and tell the boy to "pumpé!" and I fill up the bottle for the girl - the women seemed impressed and I got some resistance from the boy who was pumping water (he laughed and thought I was joking... ha, year right kid) But geez. That irks me so much.

Back at home and I find Ligdi on my wall. I take some pics with him and wonder how he got so low... maybe he fell? And just when I thought that he does fall!! I wonder if he's okay... I sure hope so. For his sake, and mine. I don't want some rabid Ligdi bat dead in my house - and I'd be sad if he got hurt during his tumble.

Sweating profusely.Holy bucket.

Mars 03.03.11

Well, the day came and went && myself and the Chev bike to Ouaga on the 27th of Fevrier!! We left approximately at 6:00 (we were shooting for 5, get up at 4:30, but took longer to get going)... took a couple of breaks (much needed - and directed, thank you, by Chev), drank (btwn the two of us) 4.5 L of water and ORS and bike for 5 hours. That equals us conquering 75 km on our bikes. It was great and surprisingly, my body wasn't as upset with me as I was assuming. :] Next time (yes, there will be a next time) I want to go faster and see how fast my legs can take me. We averaged 15km per hour and I would like to average 17km - 19km per hour. Tough. But do-able. I will say because we biked we were probably the laziest human beings on the planet this past 2-3 days. All we wanted to do was sit around and drink water and sit some more. Maybe kill a few brain cells while searching on Facebook... but mostly sit.

I ended up getting sick this trip to Ouaga. No fun. I believe it's our 2nd day in the city and we're still being ultra lazy but decide to go out to Fespaco and enjoy a movie! We order in from Hamburger House and I get courageous and order a sunny burger (cheeseburger with an egg) YUM... almost like Red Robin, but not even close. And I got a chocolate milkshake too. Double Yum. and as I'm eating and skyping with my one true love Ashley - I think to myself (what a wonderful life/world... check lyrics?) this doesn't taste so good. This may be a mistake on the part of my taste-buds, or my body is trying to warn me... well, I didn't listen. We all finish dinner and head out to the road to find a cab to take downtown - but this time my belly is yelling at me. Oh no. We get to Fespaco and buy a ticket for "The Last Flight of the Flamingo" and to our surprise it has ENGLISH subtitles! Yippee! Unfortunately, the severed penises, soft core porn and Portuguese didn't hold my attention and I fell asleep on numerous occasions. Oops. We leave centreville and successfully pack in 8 volunteers in one four door cab... 2 in front, 6 in back (four down on the seat and two on top of the pile). Yeah, we're pros, please, don't try this at home.

The whole time I feel like I'm gonna puke... well, long story short: I had 8 bands march out of my mouth at around midnight and on to 4:30am. I got so dehydrated (I thought I was gonna faint or pass out) I had to cling to the toilet to keep myself up. I ended up calling for one of the other volunteers in the house to come and help me, or bring me a glass of water and a thermometer because I felt like I was on fire. The PCMO came and got me and gave me the most painful shot in my left arm to stop vomiting. Ow. It still is sore. And I didn't get to bed until after 6:00am... I woke up at 8:00. :[

The rest of my time in Ouaga was uneventful. Talked with Ash some more, my mom and Adam. All is well back home from what I can tell. I know Ashley is bound for great things! Stupid Teach for America doesn't know what they passed up.

I came back to Sap on the 17:00 KGB bus on the 2nd (yesterday) and stayed the night there because of the following reasons:It was way too dark to bike and I don't have good night vision as it isToday was marché day in SapCheck mailDelicious flame roasted chicken!I have a complet in the worksMy ear needs piercing ASAPLet's elaborate on that last bullet point, shall we? There are three ethnic groups in Sourou: Mossi, Grounssi and Peuhl. Well, the Peuhl women have lots of piercings and even more jewelry. One of their piercings is the upper cartilage of the ear - they string beaded earrings in that piercing. It's gorgeous! I've wanted that since seeing it the first time. But one dilemma: no piercing. Other dilemma: no one to pierce it. Last dilemma: it's dirty in this country and I'm scared of infection.

Well - I finally asked someone about dilemma #1, and yes, there is a woman who can thread the earring into my ear, but no piercer. Ah, but what about the CSPS staff? Uh HUH! I go and ask the midwife and she tells me she is too scared but there is someone in Sap who can do it. √ Next question: will it be sanitary? Why yes - I can take care of that if anything and I'll be sure to wash it. No prob.

Okay - So I go to Sap one day (last wk) and talk with a nurse... she's too scared. Ugh. She does say there's a Madame Ouedrougou who can do it and says I should come back in March. Okay - so today rolls around and I check out the maternity: ask for the Madame and am sent out on a mission to find my own needle and plastic thread (to act as my first earring). Check. Go back and she sanitized everything (yes, I watched) and the nurse who was too afraid to do it herself comes in to watch. I'm a little nervous now. Damn. I tell the nurse and she laughs and I tell her to come and hold my hand. She does and tells me du courage! du courage! So nice and then the needle goes through. OW! And worst part... where the nurse tied the plastic thread onto the needle it gets stuck and she has to YANK it through. OOOOWWWW. And then it's over. I feel a wee bit nauseous but am overall good. She prescribes me an antibiotic and an anti-inflamitory. Yay. That costs 2,300CFA: that's about 5 bucks for 10 days of anti-inflamitory and 5 days antibiotic. Nice.

It still throbs with pain, but that's expected. I'll be washing it 3 x's a day and maybe after 10 - 15 days I can remove the plastic and put in a metal earring and let that heal and then I'll have a woman thread the Peuhl earring through my ear. Yay. I'm excited.

Welp - time for bed. My body is still exhausted from biking and vomiting so much. Sleep.

Sleep is good, eh?

February 25, 2011

I hate it when I get up early in the morning because my bladder decided to change jobs and turn into my alarm clock - and then I decide to go back to bed after visiting the "bathroom"... why can't I get it through my head that it would be better to just begin my day then? Well - instead I went to bed - like a lazy ass - and woke up "naturally" (sans an alarm... but I have many noisy neighbors) at 8:00 (okay, really 7:57, but who's keeping track?)

I decided yesterday that I'd go to Sap today. I wanted to leave early so I could get back and causer with the CSPS staff after mid-day... Instead - I woke up late, got going later and caught a bus in Kation at 13:45. I left my site at 10:30(ish) and got to Taré around 11. There was a bush taxi approaching around then but refused to stop because they said there wasn't any room... now... my readers, this is RARE! In this country there is ALWAYS room for one more. I think they were just being lazy and didn't want to put my bike on top of the van. So while they don't stop I decide I'll just bike to Kation and see if I can rest there and catch a bus in about 30 minutes. Plus a man on a moto in Taré was pointing his cell phone camera in my direction and I don't like being treated like a roadside attraction... that'll be 500 CFA please sir! You can't just take my picture because you don't see this everyday. & If you treat me like an amusement site then I'll collect my fee.

So off I went, got to Kation, wasn't in the mood to bike any further and certainly wasn't in the mood to be called nasara and be stared at - so I was short and a bit bitchy when people would call me that and then laugh and state the obvious. So so so annoying. Point is - I wait for about two hours and get shot down by every bush taxi and camion... no room, my ass. I guess ALL the functionaires are going to Ouaga to pick up their check for the month? Finally KGB stops and almost turns me down, but I convinced them to let me on. The man who put my bike on the top of the bus said I owe him 200 CFA. Whatever. He was pissed and I just laughed at him and said no way.

The whole reason for me to go to Sapouy is to get my cartilage pierced at the maternity at the CSPS.

Yesterday at the marché I asked my friend Safia if she knew someone who could pierce ears like the Peuhl women and she asked me why - and I told her I wanted to get it done and have the same earring as the Peuhl women because I think it's really pretty - she said she did. I went and bought the earrings (one for me and one for my love Ashley) and then causered with the women a little. They were so excited I wanted to get that done - one offered to do it... but I rethought the whole process and decided it may be best to do so at the CSPS with sterile equipment. So I asked the nurse here and she said "no way!" She said she was too scared to do that, but there's a woman at the maternity in Sapouy who can do it, no problem.

So that's why I biked, waited and rode a bus to Sapouy. Turns out: the nurse who was there is too scared to do it as well - but told me the other nurse who was gone for the day/week can do it and should be back Monday. I'll be back in Ouaga, but it doesn't hurt to check in the next day (I'll come back Tuesday or Wednesday)

I can't wait.Biking to Ouaga the 27th with Chev!It's gonna suck, but it'll be so worth it and so much fun!!

Going into Sap again tomorrow and then spending the night in Gallo... then biking. Yes!

23 Fevrier 2011

6:00 - Wake up/Pack/Wash/Sunscreen6:35 - Leave Hil's house6:57 - Get on bush taxi, off to Ouaga10:oo - Arrive in centreville Ouaga, bike to TH11:32 - See more signs of affection between Beak and PYT12:00 - Send mean message via FB to Beak13:00 - Regret sending message & call

Talking with him was... wonderful? I first thought it would end badly - we would yell, me cry, and possibly ruin our friendship/love for a while. At least all I wanted to do was yell at him and tell him that he's being stupid and selfish and is rushing into something when I know how he feels. But instead - he made me laugh instead of cry. I hate him. I hate that he is rushing into this relationship with this girl. I hate that he did this in a week since we last talked. I hate that I'm not there. I hate that I told him I didn't want his support anymore here. I hate that he thought I wanted to cut ties: cut hearts. I hate that I can't do anything about this. I hat that I fear he'll fall for this girl, his new PYT. I hate that I'm a year and a half from him. I hate me sometimes. I hate my defense mechanisms.

But, undeniably, I cannot say my hate doesn't derive from a deeper emotion. Though I spit venom at him and his new fix. I spit venom because I'm hurt. I spit because I am scared. I spit because I had doubts. I speak because I know I made a mistake.

I still don't know what to do about this situation. I don't want him to forget me. I know - truly - he wont, but momentarily - he will. I know he can. But maybe it would be best for me to let it rest. I'm starting work. HEARTH models. Camps. Cloth Books. Moringa planting. Porridge demonstrations. Maybe if I let it rest, my time here will fly and I can get home sooner.

I should censor these, shouldn't I?

February 21st, 2011: monday

Well - I made it to Sala in one day - I wouldn't necessary say in one piece (in more way than one - I'm a little torn/broken/battered).

Last night was spend in Gallo at Chev's house. I'm getting to really like that lady a lot! We had tô with gumbo sauce and salad for dinner and "hired" a biiga (child) to kill a scorpion carrier outside of her latrine.... I was sitting in her house reading Discover magazine and I hear her call my name. She asked if I could kill a spider for her - yeah, sure, why not? So I was summoned at first, but couldn't gussy up enough nerve for that monster! So I used my bien integre knowledge and called out for a child to come... and thus, one did - we pointed at the spider and he looked at us like "are you serious? you called me out here in the pitch dark to kill a small spider for you?!" but it was HUGE!!! I promise! After that task we talked about boys and how things have strangely occurred here... people getting together, relationships ending/starting, drunken occurrences here, etc. And then we went to bed. Sometime during the night either a mouse or lizard conjured up a plan to jump on my head around 5:00am while I was minding my own business sleeping... I was rightly traumatized and Chev invited me under her mosquito net and sleep safely for a little longer - where we are safe from ALL elements.

The next day (today) I woke up and caught a bus to Ouaga, got to the transit house, took a shower, mooched on electronics to charge my iPod, phone and get online... and that last one was a mistake. I immediately log onto Facebook and to my dismay find that my entire being fell apart. I found out news or gossip that I'd rather not known about. My Beak (even though really never mine to call officially) is no longer mine to call. I know I haven't been able to "call him mine" since the summer of '09, but something sparked "us" again while I've been over here and even though I told him I couldn't live in two places at once... I didn't think he would rush into a relationship. I thought we were on mutual terms... but I guess that was stupid for me to assume.

...

19 Fevrier 2011

I hear a voice while I'm peacefully sleeping in my tent outside (under my hanger) and I open my eyes and see the neighbor boy holding a baby and another small boy standing at the entrance of my patio (according to Peace Corps, it's my own private courtyard... lies) and they're just WATCHING me sleep. God. Effing. Damn it. So creepy. I yell at them in English to "get the hell away!! GO!!" They just kind of stood there and I waved my hand in the motion of getting them the heck away from my house and they finally left. O. M. G. So damn creepy. In the States there are PLENTY of "normal" behaviors here that would be illegal. gaaaahhhh.

Phew that was a bad way to wake up - but the day has been good. Finished all my laundry (sans underwear and pagnes - but have plenty until my fingers heal). Went to the pump at least six times today during my rounds of mediums and darks and filling up my water filter (I was stupid and added bleach this time and now it tastes like a pool). I got my back tire patched - didn't feel like dealing with it deflating anymore and my fingers were too torn up to worry about it - so I took it to the marché and got a man to fix it. 75 CFA √ Then bought some beignets (need to lay off those, but they are SOOOO good) and went to the CSPS to chat with Agathe, NEYA and check my phone. We talked about how after two years I'll have a belly like Agathe's and arms like her too - I told her I do NOT want that to happen, that instead of fat, I want LOTS of muscle. Neya said if I get too many muscles then men won't be interested in me... I said "good - I don't want a man right now!" Then we talked about marriage, my family - how women in the States smoke cigarettes, fidelity and infidelity && what happens when someone is infidel in a marriage in the States) and lastly babies (and spacing them out). It was a good chat and made me happy to be in site. I want more of those. Mariam came at the butt end of the convo and commented on how I was wearing a pagne as a skirt (traditional for women here) and made fun of the way I attached it. I simply told her that I didn't know exactly how, but it works. They all laughed and Agathe told me to buy a pagne with a string to tie it so it's easy. As I was walking away Mariam said my skirt was going to fall off - but I just said "nu uh!" and turned around and did a little dance to show them it was secure and everyone cracked up! Oh I am such a comedian. Hardy Har Har. :]

Now I'm sitting after a bucket bath and only wish I could start painting my rooms! I found out that it's not necessary to apply cement on the walls after all. Apparently it's not bamko only, it has a layer of something else - so it's maybe a mix of cement and mud? But I just found that out today and I guess that's better because I may want to buy more colorant and I want to take pictures while I do it and my camera is in Ouaga.

Going to Sap tomorrow to pick up my dress (uniform for Ashley's wedding). I'm really excited to see the finished product. Then off to Galo for the night and on to Ouaga - Koudougou - Sabou and finally Sala!! Hopefully I'll make it in one day.

"These signs reconfigure themselves, metaphors transform, and I'm drifting a w a y, a w a y from myself. I'm a butterfly, flitting along the edges of c r e a t i o n. Beyond the edge of the world there's a space where emptiness and substance neatly overlap, where past and future form a continuous, endless loop. And h o v e r i n g about there are signs no one has ever read & chords no one has ever heard."

February 18, 2011

Writing two thousand and eleven still makes me weirded out. I was born in the late nineteen eighties. 1988 and now it's the year of the future. We all thought there'd be flying cars, microchips inserted in us for credit, robots... It kind of stuns me to think of the technology we've created thus far. And here I am living as it's well, whenever it was before electricity (I should know that, shouldn't I?! gah, I graduate from college... duhhh). So we'll say I'm living as if it were a time when candles and flame lanterns were used widely and on a daily basis...

Anyway - not the point of this entry whatsoever - I just simply wanted to say how much I detest it when someone (a Burkinabé) tells me I've gained weight. I'm pretty sure I know and I don't need to be told that I've gained these damn pounds because of the diet here. Ah. That being said - I haven't really changed my habits: i.e. eating like a fat kid in a race. Speaking of races!! I need to jump on the workout/training bus again... the marathon is gonna bite me in the ass if I don't.

February 17, 2011: Thursday

Who loves it when you forget to apply sunscreen and then ride your bike 27km during the sun's peak? Oh yeah - that's what happened today. My face and arms are so burned! The worst it's been since I arrived in country. Damn. Good news: UNIFORMS!!! for Ashley and Josh's wedding are in the making. We (Chev, Emily and I) went shopping for fabric yesterday and decided on a sherbet green/navy blue ensemble with swirls and... wait... best part... PINEAPPLES! Oh yeah. So posh. Chev's getting a halter top dress, Emily: a tube top dress and I'm getting a scoop neck! I'm really excited. I bought some blue lace with brown satin to put up for the top and the bottom part will be the pineapple fabric. I actually think it will be pretty.

I'm getting for a busy next few months ... In 3 days I'm going to another volunteer's site and we're going to do an enriched porridge demonstration and plan a cloth recipe (pictures only) book for volunteers and locals. Then I'll leave and that following weekend I'm going to Ouaga to fill out my VRF (volunteer reporting form) and attend the 50th anniversary celebration (work related, yes!) in Ouaga that's being put on by Friends of Burkina. On the 9th I'll go to Sap to celebrate and put on a bachelorette party for Ashley and the 10th through the 13th I'll be in Ouaga: all wedding related! Then back down to village and (HOPEFULLY) I'll do a HEARTH model the 14th/15th/16th and on for two weeks... then the 30th through the 3rd of Avril I'll be at a Family Planning formation (workshop) and then I'll do either a girls cam before going on a 2 week vacation or vice-verca. All the while, I'll be helping out at the CSPS and maybe doing enriched porridge demos, helping with the school garden and making soap! Whew!! It's gonna be a good, busy, exhausting month and a half. I can't wait.

I also bought paint for the inside of my house - the one size fits all room will be yellow and the bedroom will be green. I need to find someone to cement my walls though. The guys at the store told me I couldn't paint on my walls because they're not cement and I could risk having them crumble. So that will be postponed for a bit - I guess that's okay. I also need to find someone to make a bookshelf for my bedroom and possibly something for my onesizefitsall room. I'm getting two chairs made!! Yippee!!

side note: I took a nap today and dreamt my mom suddenly showed up with her Hyundai SantaFe and was trying to talk with my family compound and was really just playing charades because they don't speak the same language. I was napping when she showed up and so (in my dream) I woke up and showed her around a bit, told her to park her car over by the cows and then I wanted to go back to sleep, but I keep on getting up and showing her around, and going back to nap, back and forth. It was bizarre and confused me when I woke up (for real). It made me want my mom to visit SOON! I'll have to wait until summer for that - seems so far away but I know it's right around the corner. We've been in country for 8 months. WOW. At site for 6 months - I can't believe that. I'm so ready to get working. Time will fly by even faster and I'll feel like I'm useful and have accomplished things (unlike now :[ )

Alright, time to go to Agathes to causer - ate tô from my neighbors already tonight and it was so so so good!! I think I'll learn that sauce tomorrow.

15 Fevrier 2011

"Who can really distinguish between the sea and what's reflected in it? Or tell the difference between the falling rain and loneliness?"

What can I say about yesterday? Sometimes I feel as if keeping a record of my thoughts/feelings/emotions is pointless... but I know it not only clears my head, but allows me to think about what's going on in my world. Certain people have different outlets... and one of mine is writing. Yesterday was Valentine's Day... I used to dub it Singles Awareness Day: S.A.D. ha. Well, I am single, but I don't feel alone. Okay, that's a lie. I feel single. I feel alone. I feel lonely. I feel undesirable. But I'm comfortable... maybe that's not the right word... I feel... well, I don't know how I feel about it. I feel conflicted, but okay with that confliction. Valentine's Day has always been a kind of sad awakening for me - time for me to wake up and know I'm just find being BY MYSELF on this day for couples. I can proudly say I am able to fully support myself and my happiness on these two feet of mine. I am strong enough, independent enough, bright enough, and all that nonsense to be just fine on my own.

I don't need to have anyone tell me that I'm doing fine or reassure me of my importance. Yes - it is nice, but it's definitely not necessary.

I talked with Adam and he seemed really down in the pits. His car is broken and he may have to save up for a new one - but there was definitely something else, something more to the dullness of his voice than a broken car. I told him that he's acting like I'm... knock on wood... dead. I'm just away for now and we're not together. We somehow allowed ourselves to fall into that pit of dependence though. I didn't sign up for that and I refuse to be corralled into a pin. I am a free bird right now and cannot handle having to worry about what my best friend is feeling, what my ma and pa are fighting about nor why my love quit her job... I deeply care about all of them, but living both here and there is... simply put... impossible.

Anyway - today was a new day and it was a rather good one. I'm reading "Little Bee" and it's wonderful. Easy to read and very touching. Somehow I think Ma sent it to me simply because one of the main characters is from Nigeria. :] I recently finished "Jitterbug Perfume" and am intrigued by the author - can't wait to read the second book Ashley sent me! I am also very much enticed by the word: Erleichda. There isn't an exact translation, but the way the author used it makes me want to get it engraved in my skin. Another book I just read was "Sputnik Sweetheart." It was good, nothing short of what I was expecting from Murakami and I think there are plenty of things I'll take from it on a second read.

Let's get back to today, shall we? I woke up naturally around 8:00 - I am trying to live my days without a watch on - I want to have my days conducted by the sun and not my watch. Hopefully I'll be getting up earlier and going to bed at a normal 9:00 - 10:00? I ate WAY too much oatmeal after I worked out for a bit: sit-ups, crunches, push-ups... and lots of lunges! I've decided I probably will NOT be able to eat whatever I please and NOT have a Buddha belly. So after eating my heaping bowl of oatmeal (big enough for 2 1/2 people) I decided that from now on I shall only allow a small cup of oatmeal in the morning and that's it! And then I even played with the idea of only allowing that cup to be my portion for each meal - I'll test it out & see what happens... tomorrow. Got dressed after my bucket bath and realized today we should have a CoGes meeting... so I dress in business casual and head out to the CSPS only to discover it practically being deserted! Agathe has been gone for like 4 days now and the major left for Sapouy and Ouaga on account of business and probably some pleasure (his wife lives in Ouaga) and he'll be gone for about a week. I did talk to the new nurse NEYA and found out that he's really nice and seems to know a lot about what he's doing. I think I'll be working with him a bunch these next two years.

Went to the marché after that and talked a bit in Mooré, Nuuni and Français but didn't do anything or say anything extraordinary. But thought it was quite funny that I ended up (as I frequently do) speaking all three languages, yeah, three!, within a span of about five minutes. Ahh. But I did buy a trashcan, a marmite (for a dutch oven) and 2011's pagne for International Women's Day! It's really pretty. Tomorrow I'll be going to Sap to get a dress made for Ashley and Josh's wedding in early March. And hopefully I'll buy some paint (FINALLY) for my house. I can't wait to paint my house and make it a home. I've already made some bulletin boards for pictures but haven't hung them because I want to paint beforehand. I'm getting two chairs made and I'm gonna find a carpenter tomorrow in Sap.

I wish I could scan in my drawing: I drew my favorite little boy in my family compound! Baboudou. He's adorable.

"The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique & irreplaceable being"

"The word desire suggests that there is something we do not have. If we have everything already, then there can be no desire, for there is nothing left to want. I think what the Buddha may have been trying to tell us is that we have it all, each of us, all the time; therefore, desire is unnecessary. To eliminate the agitation and disappointment of desire, we need but awaken to the fact that we have everything we want and need right now."

"Erleichda"

"Bones are patient. Bones never tire nor do they run away. Water is like flesh. Water will not stand still. It is always off to somewhere else; restless, talkative and curious... Flesh is water. Stones are like bones. Satisfied. Patient. Dependable. Tell me then, Alobar, in order to acheive immortality, should you emulate water or stone? Should you trust your flesh or your bones?

'Water babbles to stone, but stone will not answer,' responded Alobar"

- Tom Robbins

February 08, 2011: Tuesday

The novelty of being away from those I thought I needed is wearing - save, I still, and will always need them. Being here is both making my heart grow fonder - but it is also making it more callused. I feel tugged, and I feel the need to push away - no, rather, let go of the rope that once held me down in a place where my roots took grounding. Letting go and letting my clipped wings repair the cuts they've been so accustomed to endure as a way of life - but now is my time. Now is the time for me to allow air to be rushed under and for sights to be engulfed by these cameras I call my eyes.

Though, it seems to difficult to capture what I now find so normal... my life here has it's moments of newness - but in actuality - not having my car, but rather a bike; dirt paths, not paved roadways; donkeys as a mode for shipping things, not trucks; and then children wandering, mothers carrying basins of water on their heads with a baby strapped to their back, men knocking down walls with a small device called a dabah (always barefoot), women pounding grains (all day), people of all ages taking a squat anywhere they please... it's an endless list of things that were so new to me, but now are just normal life. It is not new. It is not strange. It is my life and I don't know how to convey these things to my audience back home and "be excited" about it.

My flight here has plummeted to a steady plateau that may not interest me in recording the basics. I sleep in a tent. I eat rice or maccarroni or tô ALL the time. I drink "watered down" beers more than I should. I speak at least 3 languages daily. I read, cook, write by lantern or headlamp. I do not have a toilet. I bathe out of a bucket. I do not have a grocery store anywhere near where I live. I shop from men and women who sit on the ground under big trees. I do not have running water. I do not have electricity. My feet are callused. My knees and above must ALWAYS be covered when in public. My arms are darker than the rest of my body. I do not have internet in the vicinity of at least 50km from my house. I ride my bike to get vegetables 27km away every 3 to 6 days (one way). I love waking up to hear my neighbors working. I am confused the majority of the day. My conversations usually involve a lot of questions about family, work, house and then confused looks of "I don't understand." I have to bike to a manual pump to fetch my water.

Normal. What is normal when one's world is so diverse? I want to experience every kind of normal that exists. I want to experience the world as it is. I want to soar & fly & dip & crash.I want to recover.

02 February 2011 Today confirmed that I’m glad to be back at site. Got up late (I’ve been running on low battery for far too long) and decided to do some sit-ups, lunges, push-ups and leg lifts before my bucket bath. It was wonderful to be physical again. Then I made a promise to myself that I would start learning Nuuni today! Little by little, but it’s time to start. So I get dressed and go out to causer with my neighbors – no one’s really around so I go to my second favorite family compound and just sit down. One lady is pounding rice: N zuah menah yah buhaa. So I just start asking questions. Menah = riceN zuah = to poundYah buhaa = c’est prêt, it’s readyNa genah = to takeNeeah = waterDjnahn = tomorrowYea = market I understood most of the translations but I’m sure there are some mix ups. I want to impress other volunteers with my local language like Halley, Hilary and Erika impress me! Next – I tried to go get water for my neighbors and bring it back. A little girl was sent out there – and for some reason she was so upset to go! So I joined her. Well, I learned a little more at the pump, I think that will be a good spot for learning the language. My friend Saphia cam over and was stunned that I was about to take the water in a large basin on my head to my neighboring family. Well, I guess it was smart of her to feel that way. They put this huge basin on my head and I immediately regret my decision. Ha. I was so wobbly. I had no idea it would be that heavy. All I could do was laugh and attempt to walk and as a result: water was slushing and falling all over me. Everyone was laughing. I was soaked by the time the teenager girl came to get it from me. Whoops. I want to try it again – but I think it would be a good idea to start with a smaller bowl. After that extravaganza I went to the CSPS and met the new nurse: NEYA Lassionne. I got bored quickly and wanted to go find Agathe to learn more language and double check what I had written down. She was sleeping, so I headed to the marché to see if I could grab something to eat (maybe rice or something small from the boutique) but instead was distracted and followed my neighbor to, well, I had no idea where she was going. I normally see her at the marché selling gallets, but because she was on the move with a basket on her head… I decided to see what she was up to. I just greeted her and her friend and off we went walking into the woods. Great. Where’s my camera?! Oh yeah… Ouaga. Does me a lot of good now. We took a break in a clearing and I saw my entire family compound there (sans the men and some children). Everyone had woven baskets with two holds, one big and one small on either end – looking like a funnel. I had no idea what we were going to do. A large group of women came from the direction of the village and then we started walking again… Hmmm… Alisonne showed up and said we were going fishing. What? But there’s no body of water anywhere around here… at least not this way – we’d have to go by Taré. Oh well – I guess I’ll see when we get there. And that’s exactly what happened – we get there and there was a dried up “lake” with muddy puddles of water. What kind of fish would be living here? I don’t know… But the women all start singing and then they charge the water! Baskets, skirts, mud flying everywhere – they are in there and they want them some FISH! There must be 50 or so women all armed with their baskets and they are slamming them down into the water, putting their arms into the baskets to see if they’ve caught a fish. Once they get one, they either put their treasure of mud fish into a sac on their side, or, as I found out rather quickly, they throw their fish to the children on the “shore”… I was almost kamakazied by a fish… Man. What a sight. I do hope I can capture this with my camera before I leave. So amazing.

Tuesday: February 01, 2011

I'm finally back at site after 2 weeks and one day. Wow. IST (In-Service Training) was:

Busy. Exhausting. Frustrating. Fun. Confusing. Crazy. Okay

I'm quite surprised as to how happy I am to be back at site. I didn't think I'd be happy here because I've been away for so long and have been spoiled by 1st world luxouries/conveniences once again... but I came home and I was greeted with smiles and everyone seems really glad I'm back - & no one asked me for anything!! Big perk! I'll see until tomorrow is that stays true.

So. IST. What happened? Well - we learned about gardening, care groups and the HEARTH model (malnutrition formation). We wasted time on pointless lessons: med sessions, security/safety, new project plan. We danced, drank and danced some more. I've found that I don't want my wings clipped just yet. I don't want to settle. I don't want to predict the future. So I have to let go of Americaland for now. I told my mom, Adam and Ashley that I can't deal with so much contact from home anymore - if I want to talk then I will, but I want to make more friends here in Burkina Faso - I want so much... I want to integrate and not live in two places at once. I want these next two years (year and a half) to go quickly and I can't have half of me in America or Texas.

I think they took it pretty hard.

Friday: 14 janvier 2011

Got some discouraging news today from my neighbors - they warned me not to bike or go running alone because a woman was "trappait" (I actually don't know what word they were using in French, but it sounded like that), or captured by force! I asked them if it was during the day and they said yes. uh oh. They told me to tell the Major when I'm going to Sapouy and have someone (a man, preferably) come with me. Tomorrow I'll ask the Major and Agathe if they have heard anything regarding a woman being taken by force on the way to Taré or another village close by. Gosh - that's not what I ever wanted to hear - especially during the daytime!! I wonder if they are maybe just hearing information and misinterpreting it? I don't really want to risk it though - I mean, I THINK I could fight off someone - but these men are all muscle... So I'm pretty sure I would lose.

On the brighter side of things - I finished my 5th PACA today: The Peuhl men and found a man who speaks both French and Feuhlfeuhldé! YAY. These were only 21 men and this one proves that men truly will be more difficult to get to come to a meeting/reunion/sensibilization or activity. Tomorrow is the CoGes meeting and Sunday I'll speak with the Grounnsi men. I might leave that evening (late afternoon, with the sun still shining brightly) to Sapouy so I can leave for Ouaga early Monday instead of leaving late afternoon for the city.

Side note: I gave Colonel Mustard his first bath today. He didn't like it one bit. BUT he was so pretty afterwards! At least, that is, once he dried. :]

"Part of the growing estrangement from family, in the end, was a simple product of freedom. It was the American way to pick and choose from a range of possibilities, not to be bound and obligated. Cut loose from a certain idea of duty, it turned out, individuals did no great deeds but only

d r i f t e d

a p a r t"

- Lydia Millet

Wednesday: 12 Janvier 2011

Happy birthday to you - Happy birthday to you - Happy birthday dear Daddy! Happy birthday to you!! And many MORE! Soon enough you'll retire and spend your days relaxing by a pool, on a boat, at the sea, in the mountains, fixing your car, taking a stroll in the park, golfing again... ahh... So CLOSE!

So, I was just thinking about my future possibilities at school... maybe I'll just go ahead and get a 2nd and possibly 3rd degree. It's possible for me to go back to school: another go... and get a degree in Biology/Chemistry (Pre-Med) and while I'm at it I should just get one in Communication Design (Comm Des - for advertising). I mean, I'll be spending 2 years "updating" myself on everything Pre-Med, so why not just go the whole way and start over & while I'm at it - double major? I could freelance while I'm at school. Just an idea. But damn it - I've got a degree in Advertising and a minor in photography - I might as well put them to use while I still can. And I might as well enhance my skills.

Next step: finding a reputable University that can look good from both ends of the spectrum. Then you ask - what good is spending money on a 3rd degree? Well, because I want to & I want to have a "back-up" if Med School falls through.

This sets me back 2 or possibly 3 years... 24 when I return to the States. 28-29 when I get my other degrees and then med school is 2 years plus residency which could be anything from 3 to 6 years. So I'll be 31 when I get my doctorate and anywhere between 34 and 37 when I (start) practicing medicine. That seems so damn old! What about marriage? Kids? I wanted to be married by 26 or 27 and start popping out babies by 28. I want 3-4 kids and I have the genetics for the possibility of twins... okay, 2: BAM! and then 2 more to go. Gotta have a year or so between them. 28 = 2, 30 = 3 and 31 =4. AND I'll be going to school at the same time? Goodness. I don't know if I want that. I don't know if I want to sacrifice my career or future for that mathematical mess of kids. But maybe I'll want them more than that damn white coat. It's hard to say and at the fresh age of 22, I don't really know what I'll want when I get home. But if you don't plan, if you don't look to the future then it's really just going to pass you by without any of your own input.

2012 (Aug) - COS (close of service)... School starts in August. Maybe I can COS in July (early July) so I can travel to Japan beforehand?

2016... bust my ass to get 2 degrees2017... @ 29 start med school2019... @ 31 finish med school

2022 - 2025... @ 34 - 37 practice medicine.

Tuesday: 11 Janvier 2011

Things Accomplished Today:PACA: Mossi MenMarché in SapouyCommission groceriesMail lettersReceive key to mailboxBike the whole route to and from SapouyI'd say today was mighty good. Woke up fairly early: 6:45 and got myself to the CSPS by 7:30! Had to get there in the wee hours because I was conducting a PACA tool today with the Mossi men. Four down, three to go! Less than one week. Let's see if it happens. The men - it seems - will be pretty difficult to gather and work with or maybe it will be more like a waiting game with them. Men don't show up until after Alisone went out to the marché and rounded up them... and even then it was an hour of waiting. Alisone told them to be at the CSPS by 6:00 and we didn't start until 10:45. How many men showed? 8. W T F?! Oh well, I found out all they do is go out on brousse and come home, eat, pray, read and sometimes sleep with their wife/wives. Gotta take turns. That's right - I asked about where all these babies came from - the women didn't mention it and neither did the men, so I went ahead and put it out there. After that I causered with Agathe and her friend & was commissioned to buy her a gros chou (big cabbage) and 100 CFA of poivrons (green peppers).

So I get to my house and my neighbor (whom I bought 50 CFA of tomatoes yesterday) brings me some lunch: rice and this abnormally DARK sauce - the color of mole sauce. I still don't know what it was made from, but it had hints of tomato, peanut and (I think) some kind of leaf. It wasn't terrible - but it wasn't good either. Anytime my neighbors bring me food I always am cautious to eat it - but out of respect - I do.

After lunch I gather my things for Sapouy: iPod, rice sac, letters for sending, sunglasses, nalgene and purse. Then I head out on my bike - 27km later - I'm in Sapouy! It's 14:00 and so the post is closed... gotta wait and hour and a half for it to open again. 15:30 rolls around and I ask “es'que il y a quel que chose pour moi dans le boit deux?“ He goes and comes back with LETTERS! Four of them!! Mom, Ashley, Devon and Mama Sivil wrote me. : ] I'm ecstatic and can't wait to read them. I tear open all of them and read them all there at the post! Good day. And on top of that, my key was finally ready! Now I don't have to wait and schedule my visits around the hours of the postmen if I'm just checking mail. I then went to the marché and bough cabbage (for Agathe and myself), green pepper (ditto), garlic, squash and eggplant. I have been cooking soups like no other (when I have the veggies) and I don't plan on stopping until I can't stand soup no more!

Biked home - I LOVE LOVE LOVE riding my bike with no hands. I'm a master pro. And I've also mastered the art of dancing while on my bike sans les mains! So much fun and the people love it. Get home just at 18:00 and I've got about 30 minutes until it gets dark. Heat some water, wash dishes, reread letters and take a bucket bath. Bike over to the CSPS to give Agathe her groceries and then bike home to start cooking soup. Same as the first time, but added eggplant. I enjoy myself some instant mashed taters while everything cooks, simmers and loves each other. I eat at 20:00... more like 20:30 and now I'm in my tent outside! Tomorrow I'll do some pre-packing and lay out stuff that I'll take to IST, prepare things and set up how I'll pack. Friday I'll talk with Peuhl men as well as the members of the CoGes and Sunday (hopefully) I'll talk with the Grounssi men.

Monday: 10 Janvier 2011

So it appears that Colonel Mustard is here to stay - at least as long as I'm here. He is still as vocal as ever and very curious. His wound has healed up rather nicely.

Okay, I know you don't know exactly what my house/patio looks like but I'm sitting up on my patio's wall, under my hanger and Colonel Mustard has decided he needs to be here with me. He climbs up one of the tree posts inside my patio area, no way for him to get to where I'm at from there... he fumbles about and finally retreats. Goes down the way he came. Crying the WHOLE time. Then looks up at me and cries some more. He leaves my patio area and I think he's forgotten about me being up here - oh no, sir - he's scoping out another route. One of the outside tree posts will do - and that's when I see him climbing up at full speed! Gets to the top and climbs onto another "branch" that holds up the straw roof. From there my gymnist takes a leap and gets onto my wall and all he does is stare at me and, what do you think he does? Cry! More or less like a yell. Then I make the safest route with my hand in the air and he follows suite. So smart (ish). and now he's climbing on me, on my journal, attacking my pen as I write, getting right up in my face and meeeeowwwing and just wanting to play! He got the point that I'm writing. Mama's busy! So he played along the top of the wall, attacking my cowstring, the straw hanging down and just running back and forth. I'd say he's fully recovered, eh? He's eating more too! Rice is pretty much all I've given him - he likes it. We'll just have to see if he'll be here when I come back from IST - a week in Ouaga and another week in Koudougou. Two weeks - I don't know if he'll stick around or if my family will fee him so he will stay.

Speaking of IST - I wanted to finish my PACA tools and talk to the CoGes before I leave, but I still have ALL the men to talk to and the meeting with the CoGes. I was supposed to conduct an activity with the Grounssi men yesterday but it was canceled due to a funeral in another village. So tomorrow I'll be speaking with the Mossi men. Tuesday morning. Then on Friday I'll speak with the CoGes and possibly the Peuhl men and Monday morning I'll talk with the Grounssi men. It's gonna be a long week - but maybe it will be a really face week due to all the "meetings?"

I washed all my dirty clothes Saturday and Sunday and I'm pretty damn proud of myself! Did that AND washed my sheets, blanket, pillowcase and tent!! The only thing I need to do now is wash the rest of my panties and bras and then figure out how I'm gonna pack for two weeks. Maybe my backpack and rice sack? I can't pack anything in my rolling luggage - maybe I can - but I don't know if I can properly attach that to the back of my bike and be able to bike 27 km with it.

The end of this month will mark my fifth completed month at site... making me 7 months in Africa. 20 months to go. Really, 19 months. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna take the first opportunity to get out so I can start my life back in the States ASAP.

Friday: 07 Janvier 2011

Note to self: don't procrastinate when in West Africa and laundry need to be done. Need to start doing laundry at least once, maybe twice a week - wash as you dirty. That's the key.

This morning - early, early this morning, I heard a blood curdling cry from a cat near by. I thought maybe a male was harassing a female (quite common here, among every species) but then I thought about the kittens that were just born here in my courtyard and started worrying about spiders, scorpions and snakes. So I look at my watch (3:26), switch on my lantern and get out of my tent. I was preparing for the worst because the cries were getting weaker and weaker - but they were still there, faint, but there. I walk towards the sound and I see a tiny kitten crouched by itself - I cautiously approach it (I don't know if it likes people, or it whatever it was crying about is still around) and I checked my surroundings... seemed safe. I picked up a stick and examined it from afar. I notice blood trickling down the right side of it's neck. Oh no. Is it deep? What was it that caused the wound? I get closer and the kitten whimpers. I don't know what to do. I wonder why no one else has come outside to see what all the commotion is about. But no one does. I walk back to my patio area - but the kitten starts crying again. I swear it's going to die. Why is it in my courtyard?! I go back after a few minutes and pet it again (with the stick) and it starts purring. Oh god. I have to take it in. It's sweet. It's little and if I don't, I know it will surely die! So I pick it up and bring it inside - I get some water and try to clean it's wound. I'm scared. I am not sure at all of what I'm doing. I give up cleaning it. I give it water and get my pagne (fabric for making clothes) to wrap it up in. I put it in the corner of my patio just outside of my tent and I get in my tent to go to sleep. I tell myself not to get attached. I say it might just pass through the night. I sit down and it starts crying and going around my tent to find me. Damn. Okay. I get it, wrap it in my pagne again and bring it into my tent. Put it near my feet and let it settle down. I go to sleep. I wake up because I forgot to cover something in my house - don't want a mouse to get in that. Go inside. Come back out and get in my tent and check on the kitten. Shit. It's not there! Then I feel something under my thigh! Oh gosh. Sorry!! I life up - it cries. But settles quickly. I give up trying to keep it in my pagne. I settle. Finally I am able to go to sleep. I wake up in the morning and it's right beside me. It's cold. I cover it up more.

At 8:00 I get up. It wakes up with me and we go inside. I heat up some water because I want to thoroughly clean what I can - with antiseptic and put a bandage on it. He (I think it's a he) seems to understand that I'm not gonna hurt him. He must be hungry - oatmeal? Sure. I make some plain oatmeal and put it down for him. He doesn't seem to like it. At this time I've named him Mustard. That's both male and female, right? And dubbed him Colonel Mustard (like the game clue?) Well - he's been with me - practically all day. Really vocal. Gets pretty annoying sometimes, but cute & friendly. He likes to climb up onto my lap when he wants attention : which is ALWAYS! Only problem. I have no idea what to feed him. I bought rice and chicken from the marché today and he ate the chicken but not really the rice. I tried feeding him my soup I made and he stuck his nose up at it. I asked my neighbors to give me some tô because that's what ALL the animals eat here - but they didn't. I don't know why. So I'm at a loss as to how to feed him.

I have to remind myself not to get attached.Don't do it.

Thursday: 06 Janvier 2011

I'm ready to fly. I think I'm able to do so - but to fly across this ocean between us may be too much for me. I want to. Maybe you and the love that resonates from you can give me the strength I need to finish this journey.

One more week until IST and I finally got to talk with Alisone and he's going to try to organize the men so I can talk to each of the three ethnic groups BEFORE I go to Ouaga. That would be superb! I'll also be talking with the CoGes on the 15th about what they expect from me and what they believe the village needs = put their priorities out there so I can know. February will be here in no time & I believe I want to start "working" by March or April. I know that's the hot season, and it will be really difficult to find motivated individuals (hell, I may not be motivated either) because of the heat - but I've got to try. I want to do the following projects so far:World Map ProjectHealth MuralsCoaching for HopeSummer Camp (for girls or boys)How and when I'll do this is beyond me. I would also like to (possibly) do some soap formations (workshops) with women here and start a savings and credit club. Also, I'd like to start a garden and introduce Moringa here in my village. I think I'm off to a good start - not too original with my ideas, but I think more creative/advanced projects would be better for 2nd or 3rd generation volunteers at my site.

April 2011: Health MuralsJuly 2011: Summer campSeptember 2011: GardenOctober/November 2011: Coaching for Hope

February 2012: World Map ProjectApril 2012: Soap FormationJuly 2012: Summer Camp

No originality ever exists. We inhabit a certain kind of great exchange, a great intertext. Ideas circulate; language likewise. Meanwhile, the only thing we can do, and get into the habit of, is combining them. But there is one idea not yet created after all: it is here, like a sort of major market in a major economy. Thoughts circulate and only at a certain moment are stopped and sorted out, and are then edited, probably as when making a film, and that produces a work."

- Roland Barthes; Michal Viewegh

Wednesday = Mercredi05 Janvier 2011

Things I Love About This Country:

Dancing while riding my bike with no hands and listening to my iPod. People get such a kick out of it. Hell, I would get a kick out of it if I saw someone do it back in the States.

Things I Hate About This Country:

All the carbs. Carb. After carb. After carb. Can I get some kind of variety in my diet, please? How about an ENTIRE meal make out of protein, fruit and veggies? Is that possible? No. Not likely.

To counter balance my TIHATC, I decided to have a marvelous veggie soup for dinner. Here goes:1/2 squash1/2 head of cabbage6-7 baby tomatoes1 bundle of fresh green beans1 small carrot1 large onion2 small green peppers2 cloves of garlic1/2 can of tomato pastechicken bouillonbasilsalt & pepperChop/slice onion, mince garlic and add to hot oil in large pot. Let simmer until translucent. Add chopped green peppers (sans seeds). Cover pot - allow to cook 3-4 minutes (stirring occasionally). Add pepper to veggies - cover again. While cooking, wash tomatoes, squash and green beens. Snap ends off green beans and chop both tomatoes and squash. Add diced tomatoes to pot and about 1 liter of water. Bring to a boil. Add 1 cube chicken bouillon, 1/2 can (small) of tomato paste and 3 pinches (large) of salt. Stir. Add in green beans (chopped to bite size) and chopped carrot. Once soup is boiling for a couple minutes lower heat and bring to a simmer. Add basil. Taste & add whatever spices you may think are needed. Simmer for 5 - 7 minutes. Add squash and sliced/chopped cabbage. Stir in. Allow to cook for 10 - 15 minutes. Once green beans and core of cabbage are still firm but soft enough to eat, your veggie soup is finished! Scoop into bowl. Caution!! HOT! And Bon Appetit!

I had two heaping bowls and there's still plenty for lunch and possibly dinner tomorrow! I'm really proud of myself for making that up. So good and healthy. If only I could eat like that all the time... that way I wouldn't have to be concerned with all the carbs I'm consuming and then, invariably, storing in my belly. I swear - the one thing I was most (may be exaggerating here) frightened of was gaining weight in this country. Men lose weight. Women gain it. That's just because of the way we metabolize the food here & probably because women are expected to not do much physical labor (at least foreigners). I'm trying to battle fate by working out - but I can't seem to cut my portions. I LOVE TO EAT. Damn fat kid syndrome.

Aside from that, I got 54 km in on the bike today! And got a nice sunburn on my back where I couldn't reach. Overall. A good day.

Tuesday = MardiJanuary 4, 2011 = 04 Janvier 2011

A night with absolutely no moon - the stars are shining brightly by themselves - apparently the moon is on vacation (at least for a day or two).

Today has been pretty uneventful: woke up late due to the fact that my head was aching, my neck was stiff and I felt as if I had only slept for a few hours... so late would mean 9:00... people here wake up around 4:30 - 5:30 (at the latest!!). So, Got up & out of my tent (I'm sleeping outside again - under my brand new hanger :] ) and went inside and realized I'm very low on water and have way too many dishes to clean and very little motivation to wash them, myself or to get water at the pump in order to complete these tasks. So, I eat a Special K (vanilla, thanks Ma) cereal bar and sit on my floor. As I'm sitting and looking around I find my house to be the dirtiest it's ever been in these past four months of occupying it... The floors need sweeping, the dishes need washing, the books need organizing, the trash needs burning; you should get the point by now, it needed to be cleaned! So finally around 10:00 I gather dishes and wash them outside: 4 bowls, too many spoons and forks, cutting board, pan, marmite, casserole dish, 2 very sharp knives and empty tomato paste cans. What's next? SWEEPING! By the time I finish sweeping my "one-size-fits-all" room, I've got a mound of dirt, dust and debris by my screen door. Yuck! I then decide to "wash" my floor by pouring water on the cement and running a rag over it - seems to work, and it's what everyone else does in village to wash their floors or patios. Then I heat a little bit of water so I can then wash myself. Washed my hair and body (perks of having short hair = less water). Clipped my nails. Put sunscreen on. Examined this new rash on my chest that sprung up out of nowhere in the past two days & then get dressed. Yesterday I discovered that I am now able to braid the front part of my hair again... which is... U L T I M A T E L Y the most exciting thing that's happened to me since I cut my hair. Okay, exaggeration, but it's still really neat. By this time it's 11:30 and I head out to the CSPS to make a phone call the PCMO about my "rash" and to see what Beak wanted two days ago when he texted "call me!" The PCMO tells me to apply some cream on my chest and keep her informed. Beak didn't answer - so I assume everything is fine. Since Ma is in Kentucky I don't expect a phone call from her - so I causer (chat, hang around) with the Major (Congo) and the Pharmacist (Agathe) for a few minutes and head off to the marché to find Alisone. I need to finish 3 PACA tools in less than two weeks and it took four weeks to finish the first three. He can't be found. Damn. Oh well, I buy cabbage, tomatoes and baignets at the marché along with my 4th anklet.

I eat lunch. Read more of my new book and fall asleep midday. Wake up around 15:45 and decide I REALLY need to get some water. Go to the pump two times and on the third round I detour to the CSPS to causer a little more and check my phone. Adam says he just wanted me to tell him "Happy New Year" and that's all. I talked with Agathe some and was invited to have dinner with her. Went home. Sat around for 2 hours - had a snack: triscuts, easy cheese and sliced tomatoes (thanks Ma for the yummy treats). The easy cheese was substitute for real, sliced cheese: think swiss, provolone, sharp cheddar, or smoked gouda! Mmmmm. And I read my book while I was munching. Ate dinner and now I'm here in my tent. I was completely frightened by a dog on the way back from the CSPS. With no moon and a shitty headlamp and ridiculously bad night vision I am always spooked easily when walking around village at night. So I hear a growling noise up ahead of me while walking and I immediately tense up. I think about Cujo and freak out a little. I say - well at least I could throw my Nalgene at it - that might spook it and could make it run away? But out-loud I just yell "Hey!" and hope it runs away - it doesn't. It growls more and then starts barking. I stop walking. A group of men are to my left and finally pay attention. One yells. Another throws something. And another says my name "Lauriene!" He walks me a bit of the way, past the mean dog and goes on his way. That was about the only "exciting" thing that occurred today. Well, actually, come to think of it - I'm wrong: I got to talk with Adam today before dinner. I thought I'd try to give him a ring to check up and wish him a Happy New Year (finally). It was a good convo. I miss that man so much. Tomorrow I've got to go to Sapouy to buy some onions, send mail and see if my key is FINALLY ready. And, of course, I'm not expecting anything yet, but I'll check to see if my package(s) is(are) here.

Monday: January 03, 2011

Let me recap on what happened in the past few days... we'll start on the 31st of December. Oh yeah, get ready for a really long blog entry. (sorry it's so late)

Left for Taré at around 8:15 to catch a bus to Léo to celebrate the upcoming new year with a few fellow PCVs: Hugo, Rhoda, Katie and Rob. There was supposed to be three to four more people, but they all went their seperate ways - either to Yako, Gawa or Bobo. Anyway - get to the Hotel Sissili (a really really fancy NEW hotel that tricks it's guests into thinking their in Americaland) and it is gorgeous! We go the cheapest rooms available: 21.500 CFA (two rooms, split five ways). We were lucky enough to have a younger woman working there at the time of check-in who sympathized with our situation and said she was just like us when she was our age & promptly pulled some strings and allowed three of us to one room. We all then took hot showers (lovely) and then laid out by the pool. Yes, pool. Everyone had drinks except me - instead I enjoyed an extra large bottle of ice cold Laafi water with ICE! Next came the food. Salads for me and katie and then Rob and hugo ordered, according to them: "real food" which would be spaghetti and some Senegalise dish. Rhoda refrained from stuffing her face, unfortunately. The salad was delicious - beyond delicious. so so so good. And the spaghetti, get this, had real cheese on it! Real. Gratted. Cheese. What? Yes, you heard me. Cheese isn't readily available in this country - and it was there. We took tons of pictures at the pool.

After that we decided we needed to rest: so we took naps, lounged and used the internet a wee bit before the festivities of the night began. I went out for a run and it was, by far, the most terrible run I have ever had. The wind was blowing against me, my throat hurt and I was running uphill. 3 miles should be 30 minutes, but I'm not sure how long this took me... it seems to last forever. After getting back I jumped in the shower and was greeted by a large glass of champagne when I got out... apparently when I went running the boys went for a drink run and bought us 4 bottles of champagne and 2 boxes of wine. Wonderful. The shower was great by the way... mhmmm.

Now, let the festivities begin! Somehow or another the first step is to obtain a faux-hawk. I soberly allowed Katie to fix my hair for the night, and that was the result. Got to skype with my Beak for a wee bit - sadly, the signal was too weak for video on both ends so we switched back and forth. The gang enjoyed talking with him too - he seemed thoroughly confused. Mohawk = Done. Dressed = Done. Make-up = Check. We wanted to order food from the hotel, the same two dishes the boys had during lunch... but, of course, the hotel wanted to break our hearts and told us the two dishes were "finis" (done for the day). So we gathered our troops and went out on the town to the cheap, but delicious (not to compare it with the spaghetti at the hotel, or my Dad's for that point) spaghetti and liver that Rob and I shared. I carried a bottle of bottle of champagne with us to dinner - we (four of us, Rhoda parted ways) shared the bottle and then went back to the hotel. There we had our own little "dance party" before heading out to the club which was, conveniently located on the same grounds as the hotel. We probably spend about 3 to 4 hours in our room listening to music, being British, cannibalizing our hands (Rob and I) and taking way too many pictures and a 30 minute video that I need to edit one day.

Off to the club: we danced to ridiculous Burkinabé music and the four of us shared a bottle of whiskey, classy huh? I got to talk with Adam some more when midnight struck and also Devon and my mom. Dev called me out on "drunk dialing" her - nonsense! but okay, I guess she was right. All in all... it was a pretty good night. Went to sleep with my New Years kiss from Katie (on the cheek, mind you) and I then the world was spinning beneath me.

Woke up the next day around 8:30 but didn't get up until 9:00. Realized all my things were in the other room and had to wake up Rob and Katie from their slumber. Took a shower and decided to lay by the pool until we needed to check-out. Had breakfast and some detox tea I brought with me... delicious? My neck was killing me - and I'm pretty sure I was a wee bit hung over (for the first time, ever) but only a little. Had another large bottle of Lafi (water) and continued to be British with Rob. Went inside around 11:30 to pick up the hotel room - it was a complete MESS and then packed up my bags to check out.

Downloaded Adam's new song that he sent me - so so so good! I now have the intro and the outro of their new CD (in-progress) and he tells me I can't hear anything else until it's 100% complete. Damn. I hope they finish the EP quickly. *for new readers* His band is "A Formal Affair" which is based in Austin, TX but formed in Wichita Falls, TX! Check 'em out.

Then I get online for a wee bit more before we leave so I can post a very brief update of our New Years in picture form on Facebook. Then Rob, Rhoda and I go out for lunch (after we checked out) and I have a salad while they scarf down salad and atcheki. The salad was really good, but I was having weird - do I want two plates of salad or do I not even want to finish one - feelings. I wouldn't say I was naseaus, but I definitely was bipolar about my desire to eat or not eat. I did, however, drink a butt load of water. The rest of the day we (Rob and Katie decided to grace me with their presence at my site) traveled from Léo to Taré and then off to my village - having to stop once on the dirt path for a potty break... ahhh, the glory of peeing in the open air - while you fear a snake will bit you or tick pick you as it's next host. Then we finished our bike ride to my village. We get settled and take turns going to the pump to get water. For dinner we had fideo in memory of Rob's first visit to my village a while ago. We had the regular ingrediants: vermacelli noodles, tomato paste, cumino, garlic powder, caldo de pollo (chicken bouillon) and then we added onions, tomatoes, cabbage and a nice taste of Americaland: a bag of ready to heat black beans in a mexican style sauce. Oh gosh - it was delicous! I wish I had two bowls, but there was barely enough for all three of us... but of course Rob was a mega fatty and had a bowl and a half! We had more Americaland by popping some Jiffy Pop... Thanks Mel! mmm. So good. I had forgotten how good and delicious simple popcorn is. Then we went off to bed. They slept inside and I slept in my tent outside. Thought I was gonna die from the cold, but actually was good. My neck ached - my nose was all kinds of stuffed up and my throat hurt - but I slept okay.

We wake up around 8:00 and start our day by eating overcooked rice with sugar, butter, nido and cinnamen and a dash of granola (thanks Mel), craisons, raisons and brown sugar (thanks Ma)! Then we take bucket baths, light my trash on fire, be locked in my house because the nem finally begin finishing my hanger (YAY) and walk around town. We eat at a place that sells rice, maccaroni and chicken (a BIG surprise to me). After that we sit around at my house and they figure out when they'd like to leave. They end up going around 14:00 and I finish the day by napping. My neck has been killing me since New Years and I figure I could use some rest. I sleep until 17:30 and decide to fix dinner even though I'm not that hungry. I fix fideo-esque type food. Used the last of the cabbage, one onion and make the fideo minus the garlic && it actually turned out wonderfully! I didn't expect to get fideo without garlic, but I did. They things you learn! Went to bed after writting a letter to Adam and reading the new book my mom sent me: "The Elephant Vanishes" stories by Haruki Murakami. Good so far.

Today I woke up early because I was uncomfortable but went to bed because I felt horrid. I've felt pretty under the weather all day - so I've stayed home, thoroughly washed my feet because my toe nail finally gave and fell off/I cut off what was already not attached. I also cleansed my feet because I got a cut on my foot on the way back through the bush to my village and it looked a little inflamed.... damn cuts on toes - always actin' up! Aside from that I haven't done much. Just finished writing/finishing letters to Adam, Melanie, Elyse and am about to write Ashley and my parents.

Discovered I can braid the front part of my hair!That's really exciting.Cleaning up a bit

Will go out & about in the village tomorrow!

Gotta finish my PACA1 & 1/2 weeks left.

Thursday, 30 December 2010

I feel like a kid in a candy shop!

Went to Sapouy today not expecting anything in the mail - maybe the key to the box would FINALLY be ready (fingers crossed, but being realistic) and then I would take money out of my account (yes, the post office is also my bank account here... weird, I know). So I ask the man behind the desk and BAM! there are not one, not two, but 3 packages in the mail for me. Two from my mama and one very unexpected surprise from Melanie Grizzel! I was expecting the third to be from Ashley or Adam, but to my pleasant surprise my old boss sent me some much needed love! This means I'll be expecting at least two more packages - within the next two or three weeks: Adam & Ashley's packages!! Damn that moleskin!! I still haven't received it and I'm pretty sure Ash sent it over a month ago! Where could it be? Singapore again? Maybe it's in Russia this time? Oh goodness, I just can't wait to get it.

Gotta get to bed soon - going to Leo tomorrow for New Years and I might have Skype capabilities! Wohoo.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Just finished reading "Cujo" by Stephen King in two days.Damn Dog.Damn Bat.Damn Rabies.

I hope my Ligdi doesn't go crazy and bite me and infest me with that damn disease. That'd be terrible. Just terrible.

I really enjoy how King writes - only complain: no chapters - just breaks in the text and then here we go again!

My damn sinuses are all kinds of screwy due to this weather: hot, cold and dreadfully windy. These three ingredients make for a crusty, raw nose... not well done.

Finished a typical day of training: 3 miles, 30 minutes. Tomorrow is XTraining - maybe I'll bike to Sapouy or just head south for the hell of it. Change of pace, eh? Then I want to do push-ups and crunches, possibly lunges?

Christmas Eve: 24 December 2010 First and foremost, Happy GOLDEN 24th Birthday Ashley. This was the first Christmas, no, let’s say the FIRST HOLIDAY away from home and I will say it wasn’t nor hasn’t been too tragic. I miss my family and miss the comforts of home, the cold weather, busy streets, Christmas lights, comfort food – but mostly I miss just sitting at home on the sofa with my mom and watching pointless TV shows or Christmas films, having dad in the other room on his computer, and the animals all sprawled out over the house. So today Ashley and I head out from Sapouy on the 7:00 bus to Ouaga. Once we get to the city we shop for groceries: her family has a tradition of making egg rolls for her on her birthday – and she wasn’t about to let being in West Africa stop it – and I was hungry for Zuppa Tuscana! I will just state we succeeded! She found (at the very last minute) egg roll paper and I substituted Italian sausage for regular, kale for spinach and bacon for weird dried ham stuff. After grocery shopping I gave myself a nice present: soft serve ice-cream in front of Marina, then Josh finally showed up and we all left for the bus stop to catch a bush taxi to Josh’s village. We waited for about an hour and a half to two hours just waiting on the bus to fill up and then left an hour later than anticipated (not at all out of the ordinary) and we were on our way to feast at Josh’s house. We arrived 4 & 1/2 hours later after traversing through the "bush" which means bumpy, scary roads and then we biked for about 45 minutes on sandy deathtrap roads. No big deal. Now! Let the festivities BEGIN! Okay - we arrive after the sun has begun to set and Ashley's front tire decided it wanted to be completely and utterly and simply not rideable... so we had to stop and fix it (in the dark) and then be on our way across the sand-pit roads - *note to all readers: I dispise sand while I'm riding my bike. You slip and fall and skid all over the place, and it's definitely not permittable when you have large bags strapped onto the back of your bike* - so finally, we get to Josh's site and his house is wonderful! He has a closed in [private] courtyard and a roomy house. It is really nice in comparison to what I've been exposed to here in Burkina. Alright, we're all uber dirty from the bush taxi, exhausted from a long day of travel and would all love to just crash and cook tomorrow morning - but we are HUNGRY and we bought meat in Ouaga and we fear it's on the verge of spoiling already from the drive and bike ride. So what do we do? Get to cooking! I start chopping potatoes (real potatoes, not sweet potatoes or yams), onions, garlic and heat up this ginormous marmite for the soup. I'm trying to conserve oil because Ashley needs quite a bit for the eggrolls. Gotta brown the sausage without italian seasoning - I realize it's just like regular sausage (low quality) and the original recipe asks for italian sausage...so, being resourceful, I add a butt load of basil and red pepper flakes. Check. Done. Remove and cook the onions, garlic and "bacon." Check. Done. Add 10 heaping cups of water (filtered of course) and 5 maggi cubes (chicken bouillion cubes). Allow to come to a boil, now I have chicken broth! Done. Add potatoes and cook until you can puncture it with a fork with no force; takes about 30 to 45 minutes. All the while, Ashley is slaving away cooking pork, celery and cabbage and then rolling those contents within eggroll-dough paper. We think the dough got a little too dry (they were breaking and ripping) so we add a damp paper towel over them - it helps. I tend to my soup: taste the potatoes and decide to add one more cube of maggi and lots more red pepper flakes to kick it up a bit. Check! Almost done. Add sausage and allow to head up and cook a wee bit more (just to be safe). Ashley is now in the process of frying her eggrolls - looks good so far. Add cream to soup. Check. Looks delicious!! and smells even better. mmmmm. Last step: add spinach as a substitute to kale. Finished with SOUP. Now we wait on Ashley: almost done with frying her eggrolls; the only thing left to do is to make a sauce. The sauce consisted of sugar, ketchup, water and (flour?). Okay - FINALLY - we are able to feast. It's probably around 9pm by the time we get around to eating - but it was well worth the wait. My soup tasted exactly like when I make it back home - or maybe my tastebugs are a wee bit tainted and I was consumed with the memory of the soup. Ashley and Josh were quite pleased. Josh really liked it - so much so that he got a huge second bowl and proceeded to chow down. YAY. The eggrolls came out pretty good too. I actually don't really like eggrolls - but I had two or three to be polite. I almost feel bad for "stealing the show" with y soup tonight since Ashley's birthday tradition is making eggrolls... but at least we had something really delicious to eat.I'll be sleeping outside under Josh's hanger, with a mosquito net, on a lipicot (that's essentially like a lounge chair for a pool)... pretty cold out here - but I'm sure I'll be fine when I wrap myself in my blue blanky!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010 Yuck. Back at site and I will admit: seeing everyone in my family compound and people at the CSPS made me smile. They (the villagers who know me) seemed happy that I’m back – so that’s actually something that makes being here a little easier. I was greeted by smiles, surprise, questions and demands of gifts…okay – 3 out of 4 is a good start. I should reply with “I brought you back a smile! CHEESE!” That way, they might catch on that I’m not made out of money and I will rarely bring back gifts. && Speaking of money, I have realized that I spend way too much of it when I’m away from site. I need to start a daily budget for when I’m away. Breakfast: 500-550CFALunch: 550-800CFADinner: 1.000CFA For a grand total of 2.050-2.350CFA and 16.450 per week I’m away. That seems a lot, and if I stay at it for a month, it’s 65.800CFA. That’s more than double what I spend while saving money. Point is I gotta watch what I spend when I’m not in ville. Write it down. So I can see how much money I’m spending, and on what! On a side note (not so side after the title of the entry), rat is gross. I bike over to Agathe’s house and she’s preparing dinner for tonight as usual: onions, tomatoes, some kind of carb (rice, mac, tô or potatoes) and then I see what protein we’ll be consuming tonight. It looks a little funny at first; I can’t figure out if it’s part of a goat or if it’s chicken…Okay, fine – but then I look a little closer and I see this long tail. Wait… What? Then I examine it in a more detailed manner and identify it as a small mammal… better known as a rodent… oh no… that’s a rat. I promise you – it’s the biggest rat I have ever seen and then Agathe starts cutting up a second one. She leaves the feet, tail and skin attached… but, thoughtfully, she chunks the head and very tip of the tail – so gracious. I am trying to squirm my way out of being invited to dinner – but she beats me to the punch and tells me she’s preparing a soup tonight and I’m cordially invited. I’m obligated to RSVP on the spot…so I accept and she tells me ready at 19:30. Alright, I suppose I’ll be trying rat meat tonight. I did. I didn’t like it one bit. Maybe it was because I knew it was a rodent, but I could have sworn it tasted dirty. It was very soft, and the skin just didn’t sit well on my tongue. I will say the beans (black eyed peas…Burkinabe don’t realize there are other varieties of beans) she served were delicious, and the sauce that was the “soup” was tasty – just the meat… oh the meat. Good news: I have mail at the post in Sapouy! This could be anything from Peace Corps “junk mail,” to a letter or a package from Americaland! YAY Going to Sapouy tomorrow and then off to Ouaga and another village for Christmas… then home again.

December 19, 2010: Sunday Fun Day! It’s our day off from IST and it was a much needed break. Woke up at the late our of 9:30 and took a cold, but refreshing, drip shower (the water presure is a bit weak in the mornings). Then lounged around the hotel and typed my journal entries onto my computer for easy upload when I get to internet again. Then we all went off to lunch: we went to the only place that sells porc and it was delicious! So so so good. I forgot how good pork is. Yum. Only thing is that there was a big group of very loud Burkinabè who sat down right next to us. Completely deranged all of us, and by all of us I really mean MOI! But as soon as the food came we were all too busy stuffing our faces to care! Also – I wish pigs weren’t so damn fat. They should harbor more muscle, and less fat – because that stuff is not fun to eat, and not fun to digest. Our platter, unfortunately, was proportioned fat>muscle. Sad times. After lunch we lounged some more and I typed more. Then we decide to go to Hugo’s house to do our homework, make dinner and use Internet. It was a blast. Got most of my blogs up, finished our ridiculous homework about a spider (who resembles a person in the pictures) who eats chimpanzee tails and tricks animals into becoming it’s prey. Bad spider. Dinner (eggplant, green peppers, onions and tomatoes with salt and instant mashed potatoe porriage) was good. Yum. Internet was ridiculous as always. Uploaded pictures and commented on everyone else’s. But overeall – all we did todday was loung and eat. Perfect. Everyone else drank – but I steered clear of it becaues my intestines and I are at war.

December 15, 2010 First day of this mini-stage and, surprisingly, it wasn’t as torturous as we all assumed it would be. We’re splitting our learning into two languages: le Français and Mooré, and to make things even more enjoyable we are utilizing both formal learning style and then application. So we have two hours of French in the morning, two hours of applying that French within the city, break for lunch, then we apply our Mooré for an hour and 45 minutes, then meet to learn Mooré for an hour and a half. Today – since it was our first day in the city – we went around saluering (greeting) important(ish) people like the guys at the post office, the police, and the people Hugo (one of the volunteers who live here) works with. We learned that pretty much 87% of the population speaks French which is a HUGE change from where we all have been in the past three months (and probably why we’re refreshing our vocabulary and grammar). But really all we did was tour the city and then learn a few words in Mooré: Roli/Doli = petit ami (boyfriend or girlfriend) ß the difference between using an “R” or a “D” depends on what part of the country you’re in and has nothing to do with gender. I forgot what else we learned, but I didn’t have my notebook on me so I couldn’t write it down. Anyway, Christmas and New Years are still getting planned. Looks like I’ll be traveling with Ashley to Josh’s site for the festivities of Noel. Shannon will also be there (one of his site mates), so I won’t be a third wheel. New Years – well, that is definitely undetermined. I’m not worried about it and don’t mind (at this point) if I spend it alone at site. I’m not with the people I most want to spend that day/night with – so why put so much pressure on myself to make it memorable? It’s just another day in a year && I’ve got two of them here. Speaking of time here: I’ve figured I really only have 13 months of work here: Pretty much, the first 6 months at site are used to get integrated, learn the people, language and functions of your work and then you have your 13 months of work, (accumulated) 2 months of travel and the last 3 months are for closing up your work, saying goodbye to your village and then preparing to go home. So I’m feeling a little better about it all.

Thursday, 9 Decembre 2010 Our New Years has officially been canceled due to Ashley and Josh’s engagement and marriage plans. They both want to be married sometime during the hot season and they want a plane ride to be included in those plans – so money and vacation days need to be saved for that time. This ultimately means I’ll be spending (more than likely) Christmas somewhere local and New Years is still in the works: Ashley wants to go to the south-west and Josh wants to go to the far south east and at this time I frankly don’t care anymore due o the fact that ANYWHERE we go in-country will not be beachside. :[ Damn. I honestly think I’ll be spending at least one of those holidays in site. To be more positive about this situation: I need to think about all the work I can get one before IST (in-service training): PACA and writing both an English and French version of my report d’etude. I’ll have an extra week to complete these tasks – I might as well look forward to that and put on a responsible mindset. Also – mom is thinking about visiting me before I come home next year for a couple of weeks. She said “I don’t know if I can wait a whole year until I see you again.” Aww… so maybe March? But also – maybe it would be better for both of us if she waited until summer.March 2011 = BF/Destination TBA (wedding?): 7daysApril 2011 = Ghana/BF: 4-5daysDecember 2011= Americaland: 21/14daysFebruary 2012 = Spain: 14daysMay 2012 = Destination TBA: 2/9days March and May are vacations that aren’t exactly set & the number of days would count as vacation, not necessarily the number of days I’d be visiting or having visitors. Aside from all that talk about vacation, I have completed 4 days of working out! But dear GOD! My body is rebelling. My feet have blisters all over the place & I think my middle toe nail on my left foot is gonna fall off and the same could happen to my other foot. My legs are sore beyond belief. My abs are swollen and my ass might literally fall off. Ha. But I’m gonna keep this up. Everyday that I don’t go to Sapouy I’ll be running around 16:00 & then completing the likes of abs, push ups, lunges and jump rope. As of right now I am able to run about 7 km (I need to master that without walking) and I’ll increase my distance throughout my months of training.

December 08, 2010 Wednesday

I’m always amazed at how music takes command of my emotions. I know I’ve said this before – but I don’t think I’ll ever get over this amazement. Different bands trigger different friends, shows, relationships, failures, and successes, all things connected to me. I even feel things I don’t want to. Frustrations. Annoyances. Fights with loved ones. Sadness. But the joy I get from remembering overrules those distractions.

At a moment I was disappointed at the actions and decisions of past friends, was in the middle of a fight with an ex, was too numb to say my true feelings to the one I was with, contemplately what failure really means – but then I was driving to a concert, flirting with my best friend, cooking dinner with my lady love, hula hooping outside, running at night with my co-workers, driving with my sisters, listening to records with my mom, washing the car with my dad. I was in Huffman, Dallas, Austin, Midland, Wichita Falls, San Marcos, and Houston.

Music holds me together and rips me apart. Music means so much to me. I really don’t know where I’d be without it. But some music needs new memories – I am caught thinking of people I don’t want to think about due to music I shared with them, moments in time when they were important but now are the very last thing I’d want to think about. I know sometimes these memories are good – but right now I wish I had different ones playing in my head. I guess I’ll just have to make new ones when I get back to the States.

“You’re the yellow bird I’ve been waiting for”

Tuesday, Decembre 7, 2010

It’s official: Everyone in my village (that I consistantly talk to) believes I’ll be marrying Adam in 2014 or 2016. They think this because I have pictures of him and tell them that he is my best friend, along with Ashley (but of course they wouldn’t think I would marry her, oh no, not this country). So, I guess I should let him know so he can start planning.

But then again, Alisone said I should marry Frank Arriaga (yes, the Frank from TCI) simply because he thought he was handsome. Silly stuff. He also told me, as we were going though pictures on my computer, that I had too many men: Frank, Adam, Chris and (Adam, you’ll love this one) Jeremy. Ha. These accusations are conjured up simply because of random pictures of the above gentlemen and me. I guess the people in my village shouldn’t know about the other relationships… whoops? Worked out once again today!! Second day and counting. I really hope to keep this routine going strong. Really trying to get my butt into liking running again. I remember loving my early morning runs when I was in CC. Gotta get that back, I think I really need that in my life right now. Bad News: we may not be going to Togo for New Years after all. Engagements happened, money needs to be saved, and now we’re thinking vacation days need to be saved for hot season. I guess it isn’t such a blow – but I am actually pretty bummed. More details to come.

Decembre 6, 2010 LundiNothing extraordinary happened other than men beating some sorghum and singing while they do it. It’s times like these that I wish I had a camera that also took video. Damn Canon xSi!! But I did bring out my camera and took a few snapshots of the men at work and then again of the women.One man called me la blanche and I quickly called him le noir and told him that my name is Lauren. I hate it when people call me la blanche. He didn’t at first understand my point by calling him le noir. He said, yes, but you’re blanc. And I told him that I don’t go around calling people le noir here and I also told him I don’t like being called that. So he understood and apologized – which is nice.

What isn’t nice is when a functionaire calls you la blanche while conversing about you (in front of you) to another nurse. Yeah. I about died. This new nurse knows my name, but she still chose to use the derogatory term la blanche when speaking about me RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I looked up and said “la blanche huh?” and Agathe said to her “She doesn’t like that, her name is Lauren,” but then the new nurse (Mariam) didn’t seem to understand. I called her la noir and she said “Yes, I am black” but then I said “Yes, but you also have a name.” It was pointless arguing with her… so I just shook my head and continued with my work, very pissed off.

Aside from that: Meningites vaccination campaign is today through the 15th & our village’s day is Wednesday! Hopefully I’ll be conducting another PACA tool on Friday – speaking with the Peuhl women. I’m really excited to be getting so much work done before IST. Let’s hope I can finish it all before the training comes around. Also – worked out today. I hope to shed a few pounds before we vacation in Togo. Damn birth control made me gain a little within that horrid month && I know cameras, bathing suits and the beach will be included in our little New Years vacation to the coast.

Decembre 2, 2010 I felt like I actually HELPED today! I was helping at the maternity with baby weightings’. I actually was allowed to keep track and record of all the babies coming in and tell the major if the baby had lost or gained weight. When the major left to go tend to a sick person at the dispensary, I was in charge of writing all the information and data into the baby’s booklet! Finally I feel like I’m not just in the way of everyone here. Side note: Tomorrow I’ll be going to Sapouy to get oatmeal, candles and pick up my medication from OA (malaria prophylaxis). I’ve forgotten the last two times I’ve been in town. Ultra side note: Started my period today for the first time since the end of June. This is exciting news – I hope this means my body is actually beginning to accept we’ll be here for a while.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010 My heart is thumping in my chest and my nerves feel like they’re on over drive. I’m all kinds of shaken up again: I saw the BIGGEST SPIDER ON THE PLANET EARTH! The Scorpion Carrier! So, I’m cooking dinner, though I’m not that hungry, and notice something that crept along the wall – I thought it was another salamander (one scared me this afternoon while cooking lunch) but I noticed it seemed a lot bigger and didn’t move as spastically. So I try to shine my lanterns light on it, but it was hiding. Why does it always have to be night when creepy crawlers come out?!! Now I’m even more curious – I bang the table to see if it would scuttle away – but I see no movement. I finally see something HUGE come out from between my propane gas tank and my big metal bowl that holds my dishes. I SCREAM && RUN OUTSIDE I ran like I was in football practice, high-knees through car tires. I know now it’s not a salamander – and I didn’t know if it was a scorpion or a scorpion carrier or just another breed of scary-ass insects! Alor, naturally my neighbor comes over, panicked, and asks what?! And I’m shaking and crying already – so I’m not much help when she’s asking questions. She finally steps into my house and asks again what is it? And all I can muster up is “c’est gros gros gros gros!” She asks “where?” and I point to where I last saw it. By this time another woman shows up, then another. They’re all asking “what?” “what’s wrong?” “where is it?” and then we see it!! I scream again and now there are four women, one man and two kids either in my house or on my patio. I’m scared shitless (excuse my French) and they all assure me it doesn’t do anything: “il faire rien.” It scurries its scary big body away and under my tent. I’m freaking out because I just want it DEAD and out of my house. My other neighbor finally kills it with my ballé (hand broom) and the man picks it up and takes it outside. I stop him and tell him I want to look at it close up. It’s DISGUSTING! It’s huge and it’s legs are long and its pinchers are big and furry and its thorax is enormous and elongated. Honestly – this thing is huge. The biggest spider I have ever seen in real life. All the people in my house say that it doesn’t bit – but it’s still scary and why would I not want it in my house?! Its name is SCORPION CARRIER. I’m just waiting for a scorpion to show up. 5 scorpions4 bats1 scorpion carrier16+ other spiders All that’s missing is a snake. Geez – that better not EVER happen. I’m super flippin’ freaked out. On a side note: I truly hate flies. I don’t know how many times I have said it – but I hate them. Despise them. Will never be indifferent towards them. NEVER. I was working on my computer today at the pharmacy and for some reason it was infested with flies. I don’t know if Agathe’s son being there is a cause, but I don’t remember here being that many flies before he came around. I also despise people hovering over me while I’m working But I do love music – which helped me not punch that hovering lady today. I listened to ABBA today and all I could think of was Ashley’s dad and how much she told me of his love of ABBA. Ha. I miss her! I can’t wait for April to get here. I hope she's able to come and isn’t pulling my leg. J