It’s funny how nostalgia has a way of setting in the second a decision is made. External factors can be whatever you’d like them to be, yet it isn’t until that precise moment that your conscious comes in line with your subconscious that you truly start to feel that sense of finality. This is that post, the one where I talk about how I decided to leave the Peace Corps. This isn’t the post where I talk about how disillusioned I’ve become, or how home sick I am, or how doing little to nothing day after day has led me down a spiraling road of depression. Because frankly, that’s all a load of bull shit. I’m about as happy as it gets here. I’ve had an amazing experience, a wonderful host family and community to foster that time and fellow Peace Corps Volunteers that have been there going on the ride along with me. My time as a Peace Corps Volunteer has been an invaluable experience with unbelievable ups and downs. It’s been a time where I’ve come face-to-face with all that I hate and love about myself and I’ve come out the other end a more whole individual. It was also a time when I realized that no matter where you are, it’s always someone’s home and, to them, it’s about as interesting as a pile of cow dung. I don’t think I can pin just one reason down for the decision. Since visiting home in October for the funeral of my grandmother, I’d come to realize something about myself. I’m not as cold as I like to think I am. Living in a host family of 8 and being surrounded constantly by PCVs with healthy home relationships really did something to my system. It showed me the strength and happiness that comes from family. My constant need to find the next adventure, the next escape, has essentially left me finally at a state where I’ve realized the one thing I’ve neglected is as important as everyone says it is. Then again, if I hadn’t spent the time I did here, I may have figured that out a bit too late in life. I’m not going to get all sappy in here, spilling my heart out like some 16 year old, considering this is public domain and can be read by anyone, but I feel like a watered down explanation was warranted. Aside from the family aspect, my time at site has drawn to a close in terms of how much I can continue to contribute. With the school attendance rates rapidly dwindling, the prospect of teaching as a way to keep busy seems a bit uh….optimistic. All of those projects I’ve been ranting and raving about for the past year? They’re doing great. Actually, they’re doing so great, that it hit me hard and fast (that’s what she said) that I’m not the integral part anymore. BCDO has done a remarkable job adapting, learning and replicating (actually improving) what I’d introduced. A year later, they’re a full fledged organization with funding, a waterwell, an organic farm, a full list of tourist activities, alternative fuel source production and research, volunteer teaching opportunities, community outreach programs and so much more. I can’t help but smile at the fact that I had a hand in that. And, while it pained me to realize I was no longer needed, there’s a huge satisfaction in the fact that I watched it happen and I know after I’m gone, they’ll be moving right along. So, with a date in mind and the next steps being lined up, I’m leaving here with a happy heart. I couldn’t be in a better place with my time here, my decision to leave and the next steps. And thanks to the hilarity that is nostalgia and the wonderful mind tricks it can play on us, I have a true appreciation for all those annoyances and am looking to soak them all up, one by one, until that fated flight back to the States.

As you all know, most of my time here has been devoted to establishing and working with BCDO (Botamsakor Community Development Organization) the Biomass Briquette Project. There’s an earlier post explaining the basics of the project. Below is a link to an interesting report on just that as well as various alternatives to alleviate the very serious threat of not only indoor air pollution, but fuel security and an improvement in resource management. http://www.pciaonline.org/bulletin/pcia-bulletin-issue-29 Specifically, this is the section provided by the Legacy Foundation, based out of Ashland, Oregon which has been the single greatest asset we could have asked for in putting together this project: Overview of Briquettes and Comparison with Traditional FuelsRichard and Joyce Stanley, Legacy Foundationinfo@legacyfound.org http://www.pciaonline.org/legacy-foundation The Legacy Foundation (LF) is a U.S.-based non-profit (501c3) organization. The Legacy Foundation’s mission is to promote sustainable human development and preserve our environment through the integration of technology innovation, media, and management. LF founders and staff have worked since 1994 to introduce a singular and effective solution to both fuelwood-based forest destruction and rural poverty: hollow-core biomass-based briquettes manufactured in simple and inexpensive wooden or metal presses by micro-enterprises, often led by local women. These briquettes can be manufactured from virtually any biomass material, including agricultural waste (leaves/ grasses/straw/husks), scrap paper, or sawdust. Their production and use generates local income, reduces the consumption of conventional fuelwood, and requires very little capital to initiate.LF began introducing and building capacity for these biomass briquettes in Malawi in 1994, and it has subsequently developed projects in Uganda, Tanzania, Kenya, Mozambique, Zambia, Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Mexico and Perú. The most effective methodology, developed from these experiences, involves three critical components:     Introducing the technology by training a group of local producers;    Launching a national marketing campaign that shows the economic and environmental benefits of the biomass briquettes; and    Training, from among the most capable initial producers, trainers who will extend the technology to many additional villages and producer groups.Now, working with more than 25 NGOs worldwide, LF supports development, extension and capacity building to introduce low cost biomass briquette-making technology for small-scale entrepreneurs and community groups. Legacy’s primary focus is to support local groups, especially women’s groups, to become totally self- sufficient in the briquette production activities – increasing income while saving time and labor. In the same context, briquette production conserves the environment through reduced dependence on and consumption of fuelwood for cooking and heating. LF supports its associates through online technical assistance, encouragement, and networking connections and considers its greatest accomplishments and the overall goals of any project to include1:    The self-reliant development of training capacity by those LF has trained.    The reduced demand in participating communities on use of wood for fuel, thus preservation of forests.    The development of regional networks of biomass briquette producers and trainers through timely and thorough technical assistance to all on-line requests.LF, for example, is presently completing a very successful project in Uganda and Tanzania, financed by a three-year grant from the McKnight foundation, focused on training of trainers. This project has trained thousands of biomass briquette producers, has helped to establish a regional network of biomass briquette trainers and has led to the establishment of an East Africa Biomass Producers Network.Based on Legacy Foundation’s experience, we believe that fuel briquettes should be an option for all clean cook stove programs. That said, fuel briquettes made from agricultural residues and commercial processing wastes have a specific niche. They are at once easy to produce and use, but sometimes involve more labor than simply gathering nearby wood. Generally one briquette producer using any of several hand-operated devices can produce enough briquette fuel for between 60 and 200 persons a day, depending upon press, material processing type and blend used. In areas with easily and safely accessed fuel wood (e.g. where someone can gather a week’s worth of fuel in one day), briquettes will find no real market unless subsidized by the government or other donor institution, which is not sustainable. However, if there is an increase in the distance/difficulty and/or decrease in the safety of access to that fuelwood supply, the market will tend to favor the biomass briquette.Briquettes can be made to fit a variety of stove shapes and sizes (as sausages, small wedges, cylinders or squares between 30 to 150 mm in diameter x 30 to 75mm height), and can be made from a range of blends (from mostly waste charcoal and paper blends to pure agro residues). It is not the briquette type or thermal output, or even cooking habits or stove design that is critical to briquette adoption. Rather, it is the issue of their economic and ‘fuel-gathering-security’ advantage over wood and charcoal which determine their potential as a viable alternative fuel. Key to the briquette option, and an added advantage, is the fact that briquettes can be monetized allowing the user to provide a means of incentive and payment for the cook stove—and that seems to be a big hurdle to many cook stoveextension efforts. Pros and Cons of Non-Carbonized Briquettes Pros: The non-carbonized briquette does not require the generally polluting and time consuming char-makingeffort. Instead, it utilizes existing waste char fines and crumbs from charcoal sellers. Charcoal dust and crumbs account for as much as 20% of the charcoal being offloaded, stacked and repackaged for individual sale. If you add about 20% charcoal dust and crumbs to an otherwise standard agro-residue briquette, it can generate the same amount and type of heat as char briquettes. The biomass briquette, whether made with charcoal additives or not, can be choked down towards the end of its burn to generate char as well. Cons: Biomass briquette production requires water (100 kgs of briquettes require anywhere from 2 to 300 liters of water depending upon blend and press used). Briquettes also require four to six days to dry to ambient conditions before they can be used. Open-air storage of four to six days’ production is therefore necessary with this process. Required Materials for Briquette Production There are about twenty five different types of presses and a least four different processes for grinding/ chipping/ mashing materials by hand. Hinges, screws, ratchets, hydraulic jacks, levers and other more technical mechanisms, ranging in cost from a few dollars to several hundred dollars, are constructed from metal, wood, or even cement and plastic, and can require from one to a dozen operators. The same, although to a lesser extent, applies to threshing, chopping and mashing technologies for preparing the agro residues. For more information on the range of presses available worldwide, you can contact the fuel briquette network at fuelbriquetting@googlegroups.comMkombozi Women’s Group Members making briquettes with the wood pressThe choice of which type of press to use is best determined by a full survey of the production culture, resources and skills and the market it is intending to reach.ChallengesThe notion of compressing biomass, which in its original form is of lower thermal value per kg than fuel wood and charcoal, into a fuel which can match or even exceed the output of wood or charcoal per unit weight because of its unique shape and blend, challenges conventional wisdom and therefore acceptance in the local markets.At the same time, because briquette production appears so easy, it is sometimes replicated without comprehensive understanding of the correct briquette- making process; this results in inefficient production or a poor-quality, low thermal output and a smoky product. One smoky briquette producer can quite easily damage the credibility of ten other good quality producers. Briquette production of this type does not easily lend itself to the model of wide spread distribution from mass production centers because of the briquettes’ high bulk relative to their weight. A full chest-high guinea sack can only contain 100 briquettes with a street value of only US $4 to $6, reaching a market of roughly 40 to 50 persons a day. The added cost of transport and the easy replicability of the production in surrounding markets tends to limit its widespread distribution from any one center except in more densely populated urban areas. OpportunitiesBriquette production is relatively easy to start up, with little investment. With engagement of local artisans, locally managed training and solid assessment of the real market for biomass briquettes, and with locally-managed training and extension services in effect, biomass briquettes have the potential to provide a completely self sustaining solution for ameliorating the effects of deforestation due to over demand of fuelwood and charcoal. We have just completed a program in Uganda and Tanzania which started as a training of two small producer groups and has led to the development of four well established briquette training and press production businesses. These businesses have trained more than one-hundred producer groups.    The trainers are thus successfully extending the reach and impact of biomass briquettes in Uganda and Tanzania. In situations where the trainees cannot afford to pay the trainers with cash, we have seen briquettes used directly as payment for training, thus providing a win-win situation for both the trainee and the trainer.The spread of the biomass briquette technology tends to follow a molecular/ cottage industry, sustainable pattern of growth, rather than the more conventional larger production-center based business model. This, coupled with increased internet and cell phone prevalence in developing nations, has enhanced local ownership of the process. Local producers are increasingly contributing to the growth of awareness about the product and access to briquettes and training.“We are now aware of briquette production or training activities in 46 countries. Yet, we see this as only the tip of the iceberg. The potential briquette-using populations in these countries are much larger than the current adoption rate.Locally owned and managed biomass briquette production needs to be increased dramatically to reach more potential users—and it can with very little effort or cost. Legacy Foundation provides a free information- planning sheet for assessing the potential of a briquette production project in your area. Briquettes can be easily tailored to the needs of each individual clean stove- promotion program. They can also be used to finance the stove projects’ expansion and sustainability.”

It’s been a few months since I’ve posted anything. People have been asking what I’ve been up to, how the 2nd year of service has been, and the happenings of my day-to-day life.  Short answer; I’m not sure. But, as you all know, I’ve never been good at being concise, so here’s the typical long-winded, rambling storm brewing in my head. Since the death of my grandmother back in September and the literal overnight switch between the understanding I would not be heading home until my service was completed, to jumping on a plane and 24 hours later stepping foot on US soil and a hasty return in mid-October, I still don’t think I know quite what happened. My grandmother’s death had been anticipated for quite some time, so that wasn’t the shocker. The recognition that being back in the US as not being a reprieve wasn’t it either. Nor the lack of homesickness that seems so common upon returning to Cambodia. So what was it? Back to the short answer; I’m not sure. At first, I had figured it was just the lack of preparations during that time, deprived of a chance to put two and two together and time to adjust. But that simply didn’t seem to fit the myriad of feelings I was experiencing upon my return, feelings that I still feel today, nearly two months later. Through my continued day-to-day efforts at site and through my work with fellow PCVs on the textbook curriculum development project, it hit me quick and clean. Things at site were moving along too easily. My Biomass Briquette Project was still moving forward, having completed two rounds of testing on materials, completed press, cylinder and even acquisitions of trainees and contributors in my absence. Tourism in the area was continuing to grow and BCDO, as always, was continuing with their efforts to provide accommodations, tours and volunteer opportunities. The library I established was in full operation 4-5 times per week.  In short, I realized I’m no longer an integral piece of the puzzle in the projects I fostered and helped establish. Well Crap… I’ve come to see through my service how volunteers help establish themselves within their new lives in various ways. Some foster strong relationships with their host families, others with significant others, some with an epic book collection, and many more by throwing themselves into their projects. I’m of the latter. My life here has been defined by the projects that gave me purpose and the drive to continue another day. Yes, my community ties are strong and I have a bond with my host family I will not soon forget, but my true love and drive has been the work I’ve put into assuring “my place” in the community. With that work taking on a life of its own through the continued efforts of the community, Botamsakor Secondary School, and BCDO, I felt as if my core had been taken from me. The one thing I had counted on since day one to provide a sense of place, was no longer as strong as it had once been. But is that the case? What is the true goal of project development and implementation? Is it meant to provide satisfaction to the donor or project coordinator? Or is it meant to affect real change and a shift in practices for the betterment of those you work with? Obviously, it’s never been about the donor nor the coordinator. True development work is there to instill growth and personal strength within the individuals we devote our time to. To see the library functional, regimented even, as well as recognizing that I am no longer needed to guide the Biomass Briquette project along, was difficult. But, even more than that, it was something I would have felt unfulfilled if I hadn’t seen. During one of the worst classes I ever had to sit through, Cross Cultural Communication, we spoke of the differences between mindsets of different cultures. Specifically, there was a section on the importance Americans place on time in relation to personal growth. When given an assignment alongside a deadline, you will never see anyone so flustered as us. The typical response, based directly upon date of completion, allows for a typical response, what every college students knows as procrastination. The late nights in the library the night before a 20 page paper is due, the red bull after red bull and the comatose nature the next day. In my case, the necessity to base experience on a regimented timescale left me with an initial sense of defeat. My two years weren’t up. I’m not done here, I have 7 months left. What am I going to do now? Not once in the “rationalizing” of my situation did it occur to me that if I’ve learned anything in my time in Peace Corps, it is that nothing is what it seems and, under that, nothing will ever evolve how you would assume. What I had implemented, I hoped would carry me through my time here. Rather than looking at this as a success and a chance to watch my work evolve on its own, I found myself wallowing in self pity and boredom. This can continue no longer. I need to get over my ego and look at this as an opportunity to change that about myself and foster an evolution in what I define as self worth. Yes, my time may be considerably freed up now, but that does not mean I can’t keep moving forward. Stagnation is not an option. As tempting as those books and dvds may be, I need to look forward. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. In my remaining time, however long that may be, I’ll do all I can to involve myself when requested and continue to provide any assistance I can. But more than that, I’ve decided I need to look ahead. My service here has helped me realize that this is not the seminal experience of my life, the defining factor that shaped my core being. Yes, this experience has truly and utterly affected change within myself, but I look more to my time here as the first step of many in my journey into what I now recognize as what I want to devote my life to. Development work may be a broad spectrum with hidden agendas, diplomatic precursors, and failed results, but it is a necessary function. It can succeed and it does provide strength to those previously unable to gain it themselves. But it also provides so much more to those working within the sector.  I have learned more from my community and BCDO than I will ever have provided them. Even more so, the days where I had nothing but thoughts to occupy my time were the days I learned more about myself than I could during any other time in my life. I don’t know what the next few months hold for me, but I’m looking to keep moving forward, fostering the growth and insight I have gained in my time here to continue the evolution I have seen in myself. Regardless of whether that means the continuing my service here, or recognizing that maybe the importance of set dates isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, I will not stagnate. I’ve come to a place in my life where I know who I am and what I want. That may be the naive 24 year old Peace Corps Volunteer who feels he’s seen “it all,” but I don’t think so. If anything, my time here has proven that I know little. I want that to change. My hunger for progression and responsibility can only be sated by moving forward. So move forward I will. Be easy, Matt

I swear I do real work. Just not this weekend.

The work update: 1) Over the past few months, a proposal came through regarding updating and facilitating an entire overhaul of the current English Language Curriculum for the Cambodian school system. This was luckily picked up by Peace Corps in conjunction with a few other volunteer groups and government organizations due to our on site experience in the low-performing schools in the rural areas, aka where nearly 80% of all Cambodian students reside. The current books in place are over 15 years old with no updated versions available and have been less than adequate for addressing the learning needs of students, the hesitancy of teachers and the lack of available hours to implement the lessons properly. So, with that said, they handed the curriculum development, textbook formatting and all creative freedom to us (with the Cambodian government’s guiding hand throughout the process). Along with around 15 other PCVs, we’ve been putting together drafts of the syllabi for review while waiting for funding from various organizations to put the project in place. It’s been a lot of reading up on textbook management and even more waiting, but it looks like we may be on track for the next step. With a two week workshop next month, we’ll be meeting with consultants and experts in the field along with our Cambodian counterparts to make sure we are addressing the needs of our students, teachers and the goals of the country in general. It’s an amazing honor and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be part of it. 2) BCDO has been working its ass off these past few months in gathering donations, supplies and researching various projects to test out. It’s been truly amazing being part of their work and seeing the changes they’ve helped foster in the area as well as the change within their organization. Our biomass briquette project is in the making, but with the amount of rain we’re having, getting the materials press-ready has been difficult. There are a few volunteers that are coming to stay with the organization in a few months which should prove interesting, but overall something I think may help us in the end. Tourism has been slow in the rainy months (it always is) but we’re still organizing tours and homestays in the area which is becoming more and more fluid with every group. 3) The new volunteers came back in July and have been in training for the past month. They seem to be adjusting…It’s been interesting to say the least, watching them react the same way we did a short year ago and go through the same hoops we went through ourselves. Between them coming and the K3s going, it really has set a time limit on my time left here. The life update: Things are moving way too fast. People always say that as you get older, things seem to pick up the pace more and more. A short time ago, I was the new one in the country and now we’re the ones leading training for the newer group. I’m down to around 10 months left in country as a PCV and with that brings the inevitable freak out of what comes next. On top of that is the crippling notion that I may not finish all that I’m working on before that time comes. I’ve looked into jobs in DC, the Foreign Service and even possibly working in Cambodia another year. I’ve really grown to love my life here and enjoy the time that I’ve been given. Between my host family, my daily routine, the amazing crap that is all around the country and the sense of avoiding the daily grind of city life in the States, I’ve been happier here than I have been in years. Celebrating my 24th birthday (and 2nd in Cambodia) was a surreal experience but a good one. Between the Beer Pong in the German beer garden in Phnom Penh, movies at the new movie theatre and the disgustingly delicious bacon wrapped doughnut I was given, life just makes me smile over here. There’s some pretty great friendships here and it’ll be hard eventually saying goodbye to those, but I guess that’s just life. I miss my life in the states and the people there, but there is a sense of belonging and comfort in my life here. Overall, things are going really well. I’ll be going to the islands this weekend for part two of my birthday week and for the birthdays of a few friends. After that, it’s one week at site before running up to Phnom Penh for the two week workshop, training in Takeo for organic farming for the new volunteers and then run back in time for the new school year and a few side projects. Things are good

July marked the one year of being in Cambodia. It has been one of the more interesting years I’ve had in my life. There had been just as many downs as ups and adjusting to life here has taken time. However, even at my most unhappy and exasperated, I still felt happier and more alive than I had in previous years. My time in Cambodia has been good to me, really good. Granted, there’s been a good amount of me being sick and a few pounds of sweat along the way. However, even as much as I enjoy my time here in the Kingdom of Wonder, I was feeling a bit left out of the seemingly large exodus of Peace Corps volunteers visiting the homeland over the summer. That, plus the final Harry Potter IMAX experience, I settled on paying homage to Bangkok to get my fill of American preservatives,  malls and movies. Granted, I never saw anything of Bangkok aside from the malls and movie theatres, I hear it’s a great town. As for updates? Things at BCDO (BotumSakor Community Development Organization) are moving ahead faster and faster. In the past month, a playground was put in (made from found materials), the press for the briquettes was put together and someone was nice enough to donate a computer and printer for the admin work. On the textbook front, we’re still waiting for the government to allocate funds for us to move forward on our project to redo the national english language curriculum for Cambodia. I’m excited to be part of this huge responsibility and am looking forward to that next step…once it comes. The new group of volunteers are here and are in the midst of PST. I’ll be heading down to Takeo in the next week for training and then it’s birthday week. Busy month and a good one at that.

The K3 group is officially COS’d and I want to say congrats to all of those who stuck it through. Most are already back in the holy land and some are traveling along the way. It’s been a weird few months watching them pack up, freak out and make plans of what they’ll be doing upon their returns. While a part of me envies them, a larger part felt more apprehension than anything. I always assumed that when the time came to pack my bags and head back to the states I’d be jubilant, but I’m starting to realize I like this place a lot more than I originally thought…If anything, I feel like I have more to do and starting to worry if I can get those things done in time. We’re knee deep in a textbook and curriculum development project with the Ministry and attempting to find funding slash how we’re going to be putting this whole thing together. It’s a great honor to be a part of something this monumental, but daunting to say the least. With that, my alternative fuels projects and the tourism projects, I’m starting to feel like time is no longer as long as I once thought it was. On another note, Heading to Thailand on Saturday to see the one and only Harry Potter in I-Max 3D accompanied by McDonalds, Starbucks, Subway, Seven-11 and a little Burger King along the way. It’s going to be a good week. Welcome to the new world order,

Small Hands, Big Heart.: The one where I was so glad I stayed: thiscambodianlife: This week has been one of my busiest weeks at site yet. While wrapping up my last week at school (WOO!), I simultaneously planned to continue working on our school’s new garden, and attempted to complete the ever so popular Peace Corps “World Map Project.” Having worked a solid 8+ hours a day…

                                        

TV On the Radio “Will Do Switch Remix”   Shugo Tokumaru    Hours wasted My good friend Baney here is hosting an art show in Tulsa on June 11th, if you’re there…go. Here’s the info: Justin Baney featured artist at Ethan Monroe Salons Tulsa, Oklahoma. 3708 E. 51st. St. - Tulsa,Ok 74135 - (918) 402-0136 Art Show - Saturday June 11th, 2011. Time: 6:00 pm

Say hello to my latest Scheme to kill boredom…aka my contribution to society at large…hah. After a little introduction, In all seriousness, as those who’ve read any of my posts know, I’ve been working on Biogas (which most people still wonder what the explicative it is) with BCDO. Basically, in a nutshell here’s the situation in good old ADT… Andong Tuk, Botam Sakor District, in Kaoh Kong Province is situated in the heart of the Cardamom Mountain range and Botam Sakor National Forest. It hosts more than 100 mammal species, 450 species of birds, a bunch of deadly reptiles and..well, a lot of trees. It is the largest forested area in Southeast Asia and hosts the second cleanest air quality in the world (Amazon still has us beat). However, with any over forested area and a growing population facing extreme poverty, those trees have been chopped down, in droves. I’m sure there are tons of statistics that could show this on some big map or something, but internet is expensive and those pictures are boring to load. But I’m sure if you google “Cardamom Mountain Range Cambodia deforestation” you’ll find some good visual aids. So in 2007 (around there) serious efforts were enacted by the Cambodian government (at the behest of Wild Aid, now Wildlife Alliance) to protect the Cardamom mountain range. With this came military police, kids with guns and restrictions on the locals. While conservation is a noble profession, it’s rarely met with true consideration for the indigenous population (usually because they’re the poor sods who are wrecking it in the first place). So in came the conservationists, the military police, the watch towers and the boats. Within the next few years, they were pretty hated, as almost everyone here knew at least one or more people who had been thrown into jail for upwards of 10 years for poaching, logging and other illegal acts. Now, I’m not in favor of those acts, but let’s remember something: poverty means little options. If I could make $50 a month over $20, I’d do it. With mouths to feed and a house to take care of, many people continued the practices they had been taking part in for years. Just because the government and this new group of barangs came in say you can’t do it anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t do it anymore. People say a lot of things. However, after a few years, it became apparent that Wildlife Alliance and the government were serious about this. Things would have to change. Chi Paht, a hub for logging and poaching within the Cardamom Mountain Range (perfectly situated in the forests along a central river system) was transformed into a Wildlife Alliance funded eco-tourism destination and environmentally sustainable town, incorporating jobs for reforestation and other practices. Transforming poachers into guides, loggers into reforesters, the area began to see real change. However, for the rest of the area, well….they’re pretty much SOL. Deal with the changes or move. Andong Tuk is lucky enough to be along the main road (which, for reference wasn’t open until 2009, well around there) and is able to import and export some goods. So for things like firewood and charcoal (locally produced wood and firewood is kind of frowned upon…considering the whole protected forest area thing), outside sources were available. However, for many, price was still an issue. Now we come to Biogas. Using excrement (dung, shit, poop, feces, etc), and containing it within a fermentation holder (pictures on older posts) we’re able to convert the waste into usable (and clean) methane gas, which has a lot of potential for cooking and lighting. However, the problem with this is the base model (pictured in older posts) is still around $89 to produce. While it saves money in the long run, convincing a family who’s monthly salary is around $60 that they should spend this money instead of doing what they’ve been doing (families here spend roughly $12-15 per month on firewood), isn’t easy…. So I’m sitting in my kitchen with the host family, explaining why the billowing gray smoke that’s currently enveloping the room is deadly and contains a seriously intense amount of deadly chemicals, I start thinking about ways to prevent what WHO and others refer to as “indoor air pollution.” Indoor air pollution, according to the WHO and other studies, is attributed to nearly 2,000,000 deaths annually to children under 5. In Cambodia, nearly 95% of all people use open fires or Lao Stoves (which are a lot better, but still produce gas, especially if the wood isn’t top quality). Health effects from the smoke include Carbon Monoxide poisoning, Cataracts, Bronchitis, Pneumonia, Asthma, stunted growth and a whole host of other nasties. I decided I didn’t want that annoying little shit sitting next to me who cries all the time (host brother, age 5) to not be able to cry for lack of breath by the time he’s 10. I want that fucker to cry loud and clear over something as minuscule as what he was crying about when we were in there that time (his mango was smaller than his older brother’s mango, yes…that’s what she said). I decided to educate my family on the harms of indoor air pollution and find a way to curtail it. And that’s when I came upon….Briquettes. These little guys (pictured at top) are made from natural materials, without needing to chop trees down to obtain them. Leaves from mango trees, papaya trees, sugar cane stalks, straw, rice, coconut husks, anything really…can be transformed with the use of a wooden handmade press into a usable source of biomass fuel. Let’s see: 1) It doesn’t require felling of trees 2) It uses materials here so plentiful that many people have no use for them and don’t know what to do with 3) It’s cheap 4) It’s REALLY cheap 5) It’s really freakin easy to make 6) Did I mention, it’s really cheap? Not only that, but if made properly (trial and error), these guys produce almost no smoke. Well hot damn. So as of now, I’m currently in cahoots with a few groups who are willing to train and send technical advice out here to BCDO and myself so we can start researching and producing the presses and the materials needed the briquettes. Once we’ve figured out a good mixture, we’re planning on hosting a large info session with locals interested in opening up their own business with this. If all goes to plan, we’re looking: 1) cutting cost of fuel per month by around 30% for a household 2) producing a new market in the local area 3) replacing the need for felling for some 23,000 people in the area 4) replacing an illicit market with a licit one 5) less smoke, better health Plus, if you make ‘em well, they smell pretty freakin good too. I may have a part in making my town smell less like cow shit and garbage. We’re still going to be offering the biogas as group housing areas may benefit from the large chambers which are made underground and can support nearly 25 people/per day. But as of now, briquettes can certainly address the larger population and allow them to keep their current cooking materials, just use a different fuel source. Hoorah.

Prolly not down 3 Dr. P’s and watch a full season of the wire. Well…too bad. Sunday was a slow day. A really, really slow day. I mean the type of day where you’re watching ants just to get a few ideas. Out of desperation and a situation similar to Noriega and the Armed Forces (7 day funeral across the street with music that is truly loud enough and bad enough to make you mourn on a whole new level how much you wish the man hadn’t died), I trekked over to BCDO (Botam Sakor Community Development Organization) to see what was going on over there. Well, as luck would have it, there were a few Brits (which usually makes me cringe) who were traveling through the area and wanted to go on a jungle hike. A few hours later, we were on a boat headed out to some secluded waterfall. What Lim neglected to tell any of us, was that this hike would take 4 hours, include some seriously precarious climbs, gushing waterfalls, a plethora of leeches and a few water snakes for good measure. Gotta love the Khmer sense of “aht ey yeh” (No big deal)..my ass.Granted, I could have done without the 15+ leech bites, the bruising on my leg, arm and face that make it look like I was the victim of a bad argument, it was a pretty bomb way to spend the afternoon. Now, just to mention to him how dangerous that was and maybe convince them to scale it back a bit for less ‘adventurous’ individuals (aka anyone not out of their mind, or not Cambodian). Saw some sights, had a few good laughs and slept for 14 hours after…

So the royal wedding was on a few days ago, that was sweet.. Granted, for the most part I was mostly uninterested in the procession itself, even if I do find the notion of royalty just as fascinating as everyone who actually did watch the procession. I’ve noticed however, that a lot of Peace Corps volunteers made a big fuss about the notoriety the wedding was receiving on news stations. While I’ve always found it rather…well I can’t even really think of a word for it- interesting I suppose- that news publications wrap all of their headlines around one specific obsession of the day, I don’t know why the level of libation-bashing is so high. In the past month or so, the world has gone through earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, continuations of various armed fighting, rebellions and political regime changes. For one day, all of that was put on page two for the nuptials of one of the most recognizable families in the world. I personally think it was a great change of pace from the constant updates of death, murder and loss. However, for some of my colleagues, this has been a way to call people out on taking said break by bringing up issues we see every day in Cambodia. Yes, I do believe that as a general rule, the average population of developed nations lives a very much blissfully ignorant life of the travesties beyond our borders, but why is it such a crime to only be invested in what one can see and take part in on a daily basis? I didn’t take that route, but there are still many things I am still ignorant of and will continue to be. I see rampant prostitution, sex trade, health deterioration, illiteracy, abuse and many other heart-wrenching struggles for survival on a daily basis here in Cambodia. But, I personally also enjoy the occasional break from cruel reality once and a while. That may be insensitive of me, or it may be that zany survival instinct we as living creatures possess. I won’t deny that I am also on a high horse and doubt that will change. But I find it funny how so many volunteers suddenly feel entitled to this “doing more” attitude simply because we took our business to another area of the world. Prior to Peace Corps, I never once was involved in community service (well, aside from a one-time gig of building a playground), I never took part in volunteer organizations and I didn’t even last past cub-scouts. There are an untold number of people who’ve never left the countries they were raised in who still contribute more to their community than I ever will. Now choosing one path or the other does not define rank in social philanthropic nature or who deserves the better saddle, but it does make one think that, possibly, we as volunteers are not as great as we think we are. I’m not here to bash on myself and those like me, but I am here to at least call out a fault I see among myself and possibly those around me. This time last year I was out partying till 3am, sleeping till 2pm, finishing up my golf and yoga finals and waiting for my Peace Corps acceptance. At that time, I sure as shit didn’t think myself better or more righteous than others. I still don’t. I’ll continue to enjoy those distractions when they come and I think everyone else should do the same. We have enough shit in our lives, why not enjoy the occasional golden nugget that pops up. And for the record, Peace Corps volunteers take their distractions just as seriously as everyone else. You’ll be hard-pressed to find a PCV who doesn’t go to the bars, eat good food, splurge on some peanut butter or chocolate at the store, or take the occasional vacation to the beach or to a pool-side hotel. It may not be news worthy, but it is a distraction that we ourselves take advantage of. Simply because the whole world wasn’t doing the same thing does not mean we deserve it more than others. It’s. the. same. thing. Here, I’ll get you a ladder to get off that horse, it looks a little tall for you.

It’s been a crazy few months here at site. Granted, I was gone for the majority of a month in Vietnam and Siem Reap, but there’s been some major progressions at the center I’ve been working at. Firstly, its name has changed, since it’s been officially recognized as one of Cambodia’s newest locally run NGOs. Formerly known as Botam Sakor International Language Education Center, or BSILEC, we’ve revamped the name and using Adobe illustrator, came up with the new name of the organization and logo: Formerly focused on English language teaching, we’ve decided to move onto more locally-based needs, primarily: organic farming, alternative fuel sourcing (methane gas production and usage), livestock raising using sustainable methods, fertilizer production, tourism management, tourism organizational strategies and basic tour operations. Since December, we’ve procured 4 mountain bikes for day-rentals, a boat for tour operations to the various mangrove forests, dolphin-sighting areas, fishing, day-trips and various other destinations. We’ve also been working on trying to get the conservation group working in the area to lend more support on our projects, which are primarily aimed at handling and using the stipulations placed upon the village by the conservation group and national environmental protection laws. Amazingly, they’ve listened to us and are now in talks with joining up with us as a co-partner in our efforts to aid in the reforestation of the area as well as providing technical training for locals for tour operations as well as possibly helping with our bio-gas tank production as other fuel sources are either illegal, expensive, or both. With the support of various ministries both provincially and nationally, BSCDO is in the final steps of being registered as a Cambodian NGO. We’re planning a big summer with the expansion of our bio-fuel tank projects, expanding to the smaller villages off the main road, who are in need of a cheaper and more legal form of fueling. We’re also going to be adding a tourism class for the local students, guest housing options for travelers, organic farming tutorials and treking/camping trips around the area. By providing technical English training to interested participants to become local tour guides, we’re going to provide a new and growing area with more support. I can’t say that this all happened because of me (I’m not the one in meetings 4 days a week like Sopheap), but it’s been amazing to see the work that BSCDO has put into making this work, considering it’s just two guys and myself. Sopheap and Lim have gone above and beyond and are really making big moves in such a short amount of time. I’m hoping that the momentum keeps up and that by fall this year we’ll have full tour operations as well as an instituted tourism class for the local students. We’ve also been talking about connecting with WWOF (World-wide organic farming) and bringing interested individuals to our town to participate in the growing organic-farming interests that are really picking up here. It’s been an epic welcome back if I’ve ever seen one and it seems like this is only the beginning of a sincerely ridiculous summer. Briiiiing it. Be easy, Matt Below are some pics of the Bio-fuel tanks using animal waste as a clean and efficient source of methane gas for cooking, lighting and small-based needs. Plus, it makes a great fertilizer after the methane release. Also some other stuff we’ve been doing. putting together the tanks Pouring a 50-50% mixture of cow and pig dung for a higher methane yield. By pouring the dung into the blue 200 liter container, we then seal it and then allow it to ferment and decompose, releasing various gasses such as Carbon Dioxide, Hydrogen and most importantly Methane. The gasses then transfer to the black 220 liter and 120 liter (blue) tank. The upturned blue 120 liter tank, submerged in water will rise as the gasses transfer and condense. Once the gas begins to collect, the nozzles are then turned and when connected to a stove, lamp, or other power device can provide a great deal of energy. One Cubic meter of methane gas from these tanks can cook three meals for one day for a family of 5-6 people. Considering shit is everywhere here, this is a pretty great way to save money considering one Kilowatt of electricity in the area is around 7000 riel (roughly $1.5) which is 7x the average of the prices in America. The bikes we received as a tourist donation. The nearly completed henhouse we’ve been putting together

We’ve been in country nearly 9 months now and while some days have made it feel like much longer than that, for the most part it’s flown by with remarkable speed. Since the month of April is Khmer New Year (aka the 4th new year I’ve celebrated this year), we have most of the month off and an open invitation to travel and take our first leave. A friend and fellow volunteer Peter and I decided to leave the valley of Cambodia and see what Vietnam has to offer. After 2 weeks of travel, I can really say there’s alot here.  After hitting up Subway and the movie theaters of Ho Chi Minh City, the shrouded mountain passes of Sa Pa and the cliffs and blue waters of Ha Long bay and Cat Ba island, I’m a pretty happy camper. The trip has been rather seamless and full of great hikes, weather and food. More than anything, I think it’s been the temperatures we missed the most. Sa Pa offered 50 degree winter and mulled wine and fireplaces, Ha Long with the springtime 60s and sun. It’s funny to see how much more active we are when we’re not drowning in 100 degree heat and 100% humidity… I am excited to return to site and get started on my work again, I’ve seen a lot in terms of tourism and sustainable practices that I think we can utilize at my site and am ready to see how Sopheap and Lim feel about the ideas I’m coming back with. The trip was the perfect breather from work and just enough time to miss my new home but not enough to make me feel guilty. I’ll be posting pictures and some highlights  later, once I’m back in Cambodia, where mist social engines aren’t blocked like they are here.  Be easy, Matt

Where the hell did March come from? Last thing I knew I was gearing up for Christmas, then New Years and we’re already at the last month of teaching in my first year in Peace Corps. (Yea, teaching ends basically in the month of March.) 2011 has, itself, been almost no teaching due to Chinese New Year, testing, IST (in-service training), and the rampant Giardia, Food poisoning, Giardia, Giardia that I’ve been experiencing lately. With only around three more weeks available, I’m starting the planning stages for my 50th anniversary Peace Corps project, attempting to get in some final grammar points, continue setting up the library and a few other projects, pushing most off until the school year is over. First and foremost is the 50th anniversary project. Over the next three weeks I’ll be hosting a twice weekly art class giving kids the materials to begin working on a concept for a drawing or mural. At the end of the two weeks we’re going to have the students vote on which is the best and finally, transpose the winner onto the wall of the school. However, I still need to: A) Tell the School Director B) Tell the students C) Get paint D) Figure out when the hell I’m going to do all of this. Man I love my time management skills.

Time has a way of kicking you in the face. Not in a bad way…which I guess would make my way of phrasing how time takes you by surprise a bit defunct, but I’ll stick with it. Rounding on nearly a year since I graduated college and literally a year since I received my nomination to Peace Corps, I’ve been looking at where we are now and it’s been such a change from our rampant college days. Whether they’re rocking things down in Miami Beach with their own salon, attending one of the top 20 international law programs, in the Peace Corps, working in NYC at marketing firms and finance groups, running their own private businesses, arts, film, fashion, teaching in various countries, professional athletes, studying abroad, etc.. it’s amazing to see where my friends and I have come since last year.For a job market said to be un-scalable, we seem to be climbing that market with ease. Whether it’s helping ourselves, helping others, or a little bit of both, I’m really proud of where everyone’s headed. There was an article back a few months ago (read it here @ What Is It About 20-Somethings) regarding how our failure to launch, our ‘needs to take more risks, less safe-bets and longer periods before settling down’ defines a new sub-sector of cognitive development. I remember initially getting somewhat angered at the over-generalization of the article’s nature, until I realized I was reading it while on a two-year contract with the Peace Corps (as they mentioned specifically 20-somethings joining Peace Corps), whoops. Yeah, we take risks. Yeah, we take longer to settle down and we sure as hell move from one project to the next, freaking out our older counterparts. But, living in the digital age, where we have status updates every two minutes, tweets and fifty other social engines working to propel us into some new direction, our minds are geared a bit differently than in the days of the typewriter. If anything, it can create a new class of jacks (and jens) of all trades, which I embrace. This does have its downfalls, but for those that know how to ride the wave of change, the jumping from one area to the next, this can be a large stepping stone. The reason I bring this up in relation to my earlier pride in my circle is that while we may not be where we are this time next year, in each phase we seem to grow stronger as individuals and continually improve upon what we have learned. While it may not be the same monotony as was previously decided to be the ‘norm,’ our array of interests, job experience and beliefs which seem to evolve daily has really provided us with opportunities previously unavailable. If this is a new era of cognitive development, at least in terms of scientific recognition, I say bring it on and embrace it. For those that choose to take this time to experience the world in an effort to find that which truly makes you happy or for those working in various areas still unsure of where that direction lies, or even for those that are just simply finding themselves through their day-to-days, I think the amount of balls it takes to do what we do (not to mention a healthy dose of naiveté) is something to be admired rather than admonished. Someone once told me that life is the culmination of your experiences and what you choose to do with those experiences. I personally want my life to be full of experiences and informed opinions. Granted, ignorance is much like death in that we try to defy its existence and in some ways defeat it, all the while knowing we never truly will. It may be a losing fight, but at least it’s something to fight for nonetheless. People told me slow my road I’m screaming out fuck that Imma do just what I want lookin? ahead no turnin? back if I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets I’m on the pursuit of happiness and                                                                                 I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold I’ll be fine once I get it, I’ll be good.

Beaches of Sihanouk One of the reasons I love where I live just chillin Library in progress mi familia The Volunteers Xmas in Koh Kong

I feel like Cambodia is waging biological warfare on me. Between the Dengue Fever, Giardia, and rampant allergies plus who knows what else is to come, it’s startin to feel that way. Luckily with the Giardia, I’m one of the lucky asymptomatic people who don’t experience the nastiness that is usually associated with the fun lil parasites. My host family however, thinks I have Typhoid because I can’t really think of a better way to explain it. Oh well. Aside from such hindrances, things are going really well overall. Busy with projects, plans and things in between. Second semester has started up and am planning on adding a book club and an art class this semester in the library. A lot of logistics need to be figured out in terms of the side projects of organic farming etc, aka…get the wells built and repaired. Not too much to report, which is not a bad thing I guess. 

It’s been a good week at site. Actually, its just been pretty epic. Things seem to be falling into place in so many areas. I wrangled a meeting with the Asia Foundation for possible funding and training on a large scale for my library. My school is really behind me on this and the kids are basically living in the library when they aren’t in class. We painted some signs for the room and will be doing a hand mural next week. Met a new group of workers in the area who are eager to work on the tourism projects I’ve been talking about doing since day one. Starting with information signs, pamphlets, help centers and tourism English classes, we’re planning a widescale overhaul of how existing tourism is handled and providing ways for it to expand through community involvement. Also working on andong tuk’s first organic garden center and looking for funding to finally provide an alternative to illegal charcoal and expensive gas through biofuel. Using cow manure in underground tanks which are built by local crafters, not only can we show a cheaper, more readily available, and legal alternative in the protected areas, we are also hoping to create a few more jobs along the way. What the best thing about all of this is the fact that it’s community driven and finding help on most of these things has been easy now. Hopefully I can keep this momentum going without it turning into an avalanche. One step at a time. First step, library.

As I watched the Koh Kong provincial volleyball champiomship while sitting with the minister of police forces, the district chief and a spatering of other officials I had to Wikipedia to understand what their position was, I noticed my nervous habit of quick checking my various social engines on my phone had come back, but was in concert with nearly everyone around me. Yea, I may be a peace corps volunteer and supposedly living the tough life, but it fascinated me how technology has permeated to the deepest reaches of the world, all the while staying up to date, unlike pop culture. Since my arrival to Cambodia, I have learned that my once dream-realm notion of existing without the use of electronics would come to life, allowing me in a sense to rediscover the west through the eyes of technology…was nothing more than a joke. Like many cambodians, our volunteer group has had more dealings with technology than the average peace corps volunteer might. But, this is the culture we were brought into. I’m simply integrating. As I’m writing this I’m currently sitting at the head table with the previously mentioned politicians post shotgunning beers. Our generation takes things such as these for granted, but the concept of me blogging on a phone 6000 miles from home has begun to fascinate me. God bless and god Damn the digital age.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been talking to my students, school director, and co-teachers about wishes for the school and community at large. Needless to say, the resounding request has been a library of sorts. Not intended to spout the necessity of learning the English language, this library is instead intended to simply open the horizons to the students, monks, and other community members interested in reading. My goal is to obtain books at the various book stores in Phnom Penh (amazing selection and at a seriously low price) to help open up new avenues to the community here in Botam Sakor. I’ve noticed so many opinions of what the outside world contains, and general lack of information aside from the horrendous Pop culture that seems to permeate even the most remote areas of Cambodia. I want to help shift this a bit by bringing in various books both in English and Khmer, ranging in books from Harry Potter to books on Psychology and Women’s Empowerment, Western Classics to Sun Tzu. While I do have a big interest in helping these students and community members learn English, I feel that for many of them there is no impetus to do such. However, if they are first exposed to the outside world and various new topics simply by reading about them in their own language, they may find greater need to study harder, learn more, or simply find an interest in something they knew nothing about.  I’m asking for you to Click on the link to the right of this post (The big DONATE button) and send any amount you can. Even $3 can purchase a book over here. I would have done this through a book drive method, but honestly the books are cheaper here than in the states, and these kids need more books in Cambodian than they do in English. While some books will be in English (as well as grammar books, English learning, and other such materials), a bulk of them will be in Cambodian so as to not make the kids shy to learn. I want nothing standing in their way of learning more about the world, and find it foolish to assume that can only happen if it is done in English. Thank you for reading this and if you have a specific request for books, shoot me an email at matt.fransein@gmail.com and I will be more than happy to look for that specific book! Thanks again

Yesterday, after teaching grade 10 with my counterpart Ken, I began talking about how I wanted to build a Christmas tree out of bamboo and palm leaves. After a few minutes, he told me to come to his house, saying that he had the bamboo I needed and the palm leaves. After treking through his 200 acre backyard in search of bamboo, we came upon a few pieces that looked about right. After chopping it and hauling it back, I was the already weird white man, but this time in tow with two 5 foot long bamboo sticks and a giant half of a palm leaf (around 10 feet long) walking down the street. By the time I reached home, my host aunt, sister, and rest of the group were already home, looking at me the way they tend to do when I do something weird. As I began drilling holes in the bamboo while blasting christmas music, I can only imagine what was going through their heads. By the time I got to the palm leaf attachments, my host family knew I was attempting to build something, so they took to helping. With about 4 Khmers and me chopping up palm leaves and organizing them into the holes I had fashioned, the ‘tree’ was completed in about 1 hour. As I walked upstairs to set it up on my balcony, I was nothing more than touched at how much help and work had gone into making this symbol of Christmas all the way in Cambodia. By the end of the evening, I had fashioned decorations out of anything I could find, (cellcard minute cards, duster feathers, fake flowers, dr. Pepper can, a soccer ball with feathers and flowers sticking out of it, and some Cambodian Riel) However, by the time I woke up this morning, there was so much more on the tree than as I had left it, as well as adjustments that I was too lazy to fix. My family, overnight had helped make my Christmas tree even more unique by adding their own touches to it, making it truly unlike anything I had seen before. My host aunt now refers to it as the Christmas tree bird.  Just when I feel as if I am truly in another world, things like this come out of nowhere to surprise me. I had originally planned on erecting this Christmas tree by myself, but as the event progressed, it truly became a community activity. It may not be the most beautiful tree, the most organized, or even made of pine, but the care that went into it and the help I received from my family and friends is what truly makes this so special to me. I guess that’s what Christmas really is when it boils down to the sappy movies and songs. It’s about family, friends, and helping your fellow man. Not just the snow, the egg nog, and all the other fun stuff, but this sense of togetherness. The fact that my host family had no idea what I was doing, but we still managed to put together something like this puts a smile on my face. Every time I look at that tree this month, it won’t be hard to remember how it got there in the first place.  Great start to my 25 days of Christmas -Matt

There’s few things I enjoy more than the days leading up to Christmas. With 25 days to go until the big day, I woke up this morning, ripped the paper off the calendar and said hello to one of my favorite months of the year. Granted, this year there will be very little around me to signify that it is the month of December (it’s more like a perpetual August). But I think a Christmas tree made of bamboo and palm leaves, plus some local decorations should be a good adaptation to the holiday spirit. The Christmas music is playing, the nutmeg has been bought, and I’m planning on making this one hell of a Christmas in Koh Kong.  Came back to site after a week of training and travel up in Battambang, a Northwestern province with the rest of the 50 some odd K4 volunteers. It’s funny how after two months of us all wishing we could see each other sooner that we realized by the end of it we wanted nothing more than to come back to our sites and get back to something less stressful. Definitely wasn’t expected, but I think many of us appreciate our sites a bit more after the amount of travel, sessions, and all the rest that went with it. Spent Thanksgiving day in Phnom Penh with a few friends with more beer than food, and it was definitely a more memorable Thanksgiving. Friday was spent traveling and finished off with a 4 turkey dinner prepared by the Battambang volunteers for around 60 of us. Have to say, it was one of the better thanksgiving meals I’ve had in the past 3 years away from home.  It only seems like we’re alone in this, but training helps remind us we have 50 other people going through the same trials and tribulations as us, even if we don’t see them for months at a time. Christmas this year will be spent in Koh Kong town, with bbq’s, boat rides, a pool, good food, friends, and an island or two. So bring on that holiday spirit, cause December is here. 

Death always makes one take stock of one’s life. Looking at the positives, the negatives, the words both said and unheard, as well as the actions we wish we could or should have taken and the ones we thought better to have never been made at all. This is one of those times. Following the aftermath of the incident in Phnom Penh where nearly 345 people lay dead outside the Phnom Penh Hospital, the country of Cambodia has been at an almost standstill, at least from what I’ve witnessed. Many of the people in my town have been asking why such a thing would happen, others saddened by the loss, and even more without words worthy to help understand the situation at hand. Being awoken at 6 this morning by my worried mother was the start of a long day of questions regarding the situation, which until the phone call, I had not yet heard of. After some investigation, listening to short wave radio stations, reading various news articles, and finally hearing it from victim’s families themselves, the situation is much more real than I imagined. I always scoff at the way in which concerned parents, friends, and loved ones in the states feel the fright of loss once a tragedy befalls a country in which I or someone is stationed, or at other times, a continent. However, this time it felt justified as I had intended on attending this festival days prior, but due to a growing sense of frugality, I thought better of my actions and stayed at site. It is brushes like these with fate, death, anything, even as minor as my brush was, that gets us thinking about the things in life we have done, are doing, and will be doing some day, or that is, if we are given such an opportunity. Life is such a temporary thing and I am glad to know that I am taking it for all it is worth with my time here. My heart goes out to the families that lost loved ones in the incident. There are an estimated 90 deaths from my province alone, postponing some classes (as if that wouldn’t have happened anyway) for the ones who have lost more than a bit of sleep over this. All Peace Corps staff and volunteers are accounted for and luckily, even the ones who attended the event are fine and were nowhere near the situation. Tonight, my town, like many others in this country, are silent with candles on every porch lining the streets in memory of those lost. Sitting on my balcony writing this with no light but that of this screen, the full moon, and 50 some odd candles adds one of the most chilling senses of serenity I have ever felt during my time in Cambodia, and hopefully ever will. Be easy, -Matt

Current books on my hammock table: Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoevsky The Botany of Desire; A Plant’s-Eye View on the World Michael Polan Favorite News Articles: The Two Cultures When the Mind Wanders, Happiness Also Strays This Is Your Brain on Metaphors With a Church in Crisis, Belgian Catholics Turn to One Another Albums I’m Listening to: All Day Girl Talk  Download the free album The Unmistakeable Man River City Extension Tiger, My Friend Psapp Broken Bells Broken Bells Takk Sigur Ross

As many volunteers will attest, the first six months at site are marred by psychological dilemmas ranging from morals and ethics to personal goals and knowing when to let go and when to go forward. In my near 123 days in Cambodia, I can personally agree with this to such fervent tenacity that I would be willing to go to the mat with anyone who disagrees with such statements. The Peace Corps credo and mantra for the first 365 days at site has been “find a mental and physical balance in all that you do.” For some, this has meant attempting to go head first into projects, attempting successes at site through teaching, focus groups, and other events. For others, this has meant find routines that make the days easier to live by. Having switched between both of these methods in the past month or so, I am starting to realize the latter holds a truism much greater than the former. While we would all love to be instantly successful at site and gain true happiness from knowing our successes benefit those we came to live along side with, I, as some of my other fellow Peace Corps volunteers have realized, that success can not come from thin air.  What I mean by this statement is simply this; we cannot expect success in our mission to occur if we do not have the basic building blocks to make those ideas a reality. Simply expressing a desire to start a project, or hold an English class may help garner relationships in the community, but we cannot expect to see results from the first step. This is not a simple exercise of a wind of change coming in and leaving soon after. Much of our mission in Peace Corps is simply to become aware and integrate within our communities. Doing so requires a level of self awareness to create positive relationships. For myself, this has meant that hoping to draw successes from the community to affect positive change in both myself and those around me has been ill-founded, even if it has been based on positive notions. While I would love to affect change, considering myself able to do such in a community I do not yet understand and quickly dismiss as lazy and ineffectual is the height of hubris. I am now starting to realize those personal goals and aspirations that only we can make happen- exercise habits, reading, learning, etc- are what can help give us those building blocks to feel success at site, even if they do come from a more self-serving purpose.  But as they may be self-serving, so is our time here. Yes, I do want to be here to give a helping hand in a community I will be living in for the next 19 months, and yes I would like to see that change continue to grow after I leave, but how can I do that if I, myself am not happy? Try as I might to affect change, I am starting to realize attempting to do so this early in my time here is akin to reading a book in the dark. I may recognize aspects of that which may benefit from my involvement, but without proper understanding of the environment, norms, and history of the community around me, I cannot truly hope to change anything until I know all that I can.  So step one: Find a balance. If the vehicle of change is not running properly, how can it expect to get anywhere?  -Matt

The title says it. It’s been a week or so since I last updated, mostly because I felt I didn’t have much to say. No gems of wisdom, no words to the wise, or hilarious anecdotes. But after two weeks of small steps in a direction I’m not sure of, I’ve started to realize a few things about my time here. Life here, like anywhere, is a constant struggle. We all need validation in some form to feel as if we are a necessary force or at least doing something with the time we are given. So much of Peace Corps training is not looking at your service as a day-to-day experience, but rather as a week-to-week one. If I were to base my experience here on a day-to-day, I do believe the outcome would not come out in my favor. But as the weeks dwindle on, I feel differently about this place every day. Neither good nor bad, but just different. The school they have me placed at is ill-equipped to effectively host a Peace Corps volunteer in my opinion, with only two English teachers and less than 12 available hours to teach per week with the current schedule. What’s more is that from what I had gathered over my past month and a half at site, many of the students and teachers don’t carry a sense of enthusiasm for learning English, and with good reason. Most of my students have never been out of this province, even less to Phnom Penh. For many of these kids, their entire lives will be lived in a 15 mile radius from my town, farming, fishing, selling, cooking, or something of the sort. As many of the students I teach are beginning to prepare for their national exams, who am I to tell them English is the most important class they have? It would be as useful as teaching Quantum Physics to an Art major.  With this realization, I began to feel somewhat useless here, conned into a notion that I was not going to affect any change here and would not be noticed if I simply did not go to a class, if the students and teachers weren’t as well. I was wrong.  I came to class today out of boredom, to see only 13 out of the 42 kids I teach in Grade 10a English with no co-teacher (he’s in Sihanouk for the next 10 days for a wedding). I walked in, asked if the kids wanted to learn, and was met with an unequivocal ‘yes’ and asked promptly why I was not at class yesterday. In that moment, it hit me that my job in the Peace Corps is not to change everyone, or change anyone, but give help where it is needed. I knew at least 4 of the 13 students had ridden their bikes well over 8 miles to come learn English today and who the hell was I to deprive them of that?  Case in Point, I felt like a jackass. It won’t be happening again, I don’t care if I only reach one student in each class of some 40 odd people, If they come, I will teach.  I also recently started up an Environment and Tourism focus group with about 15 kids from the eco-tourism town near me who are staying at the Wat. Focusing on hospitality, touring, rentals, and colloquial english, I’m set on helping these kids increase the success of the tourism industry in this area and hopefully expand it. I’ve never in my life seen such enthusiasm as I do with these kids. If there was ever a reason to get out of a funk, this week has been one of those reasons. I may be starving from lack of protein, sick constantly from the allergens, and constantly exhausted from lack of sleep, but that does not mean I can give up. I’ll post some pictures from Khmer Independence Day and some random stuff soon. In the mean time, just appreciate what you have, those things make it easier for me. Be easy, -matt

I’ve found myself thinking a lot lately about how difficult it is to get anything done at site. I could: A)propose painting a mural of the world on the school, thereby teaching students the different names of countries, have them ask questions and learn that they too can contribute to the school atmosphere. B) introduce new techniques into curriculum, thereby breaking the system of disinformation and lack of effective learning that has been taking place for years. C) I could take part in putting together the greenhouse with the students, teaching them the various english names of tools, plants, and techniques… D) or I could watch reruns of The Office and grow frustrated with how all of those things above were attempted and just blame it on the “structure of Cambodia.” In my past month of observation in grades 8-12, I’ve learned some basic mechanics of the Cambodian education system.  1) Things have been done this way for a while and if there’s one thing people here don’t like, it’s change. Last time major change was brought to this country, the results didn’t turn out so well. 2) Why change when things seem to be working fine enough, change just brings work. 3) Why show up on time and pay for books when you most likely will never use more than “Hello teacha” in your day to day lives after high school. 4) Just because you’re American and speak perfect English does not mean Cambodian students will understand your version of English.  5) Never assume that simply because you’ve spoken the language your entire life that you know more about grammar than your counterpart. With each realization, I’m attempting to formulate some game plan, some way to convince my counterparts that our crazy teaching methods are worth a shot and that they may actually find themselves wanting to adapt. Most of the time, I simply am met with a reply in the form of a blank stare, laugh, then “but this is not how we do it,” followed by silence then back to the previous subject. My attempts to involve students in the learning process has been even less successful and the school genuinely seems very uninterested in taking part in making the program better. Times like this I really wish I had more training in motivation, teaching, anything.  My goal for this week: Teach a class and prove that one lesson can be taught within an hour, and that students can show up on time.  Eventually, it’d be nice to have regular attendance, participation, and willingness in the classroom from both the teacher and students to learn. Oh well, one step at a time. However, I will be painting the entire freaking world on the side of the school, with or without the help of Botam Sakor High School. Gonna straight up grafiti that bitch if I have to.  Be easy, -Matt

This post is neither negative nor positive, just an obscure thought by someone with too much free time. Few times in our lives do we actually realize something we did or saw, people we’ve met were how we imagined them to be or were things we realized would happen as we saw them. My experience thus far, has without a doubt….been no exception to that truism.  One should learn to never expect things to be one way and, with everyday at site, I’m starting to realize this to be true. Someone once said, “embrace the madness” and something about the roller coaster that is life - I’ve never been one for thrill rides, I’ve always had issues with the structural integrity of roller coasters assembled by Carny folk. But I’ve started to learn the difference between riding the roller coaster for thrills and the ones you get on to chase for your sanity. Sometimes you just need to let things take you where they will. My time in Cambodia has, if anything, been a roller coaster. High points, low points, being flipped over, going through dark tunnels with no visible light at the end, and even the long lines full of anticipation for the coming vortex of nausea.   My plan A for Cambodia was fully of unrealistic goals, expectations, and a great deal of anticipation. None of this has been sullied by the reality of Peace Corps life, but it for sure has been altered irrevocably. There are times my opinions and preconceived notions have been correct, times they were built upon, and times they were torn down. But just as any one knows, it is at those times we discover the world around us. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s simply the purgatory of learning. I’m choosing to let the notions of an American in the Peace Corps take a back seat to the Kampuchea Express.  Just with everything in our lives, we need to take a step back and digest the world around us. Too often do we get so stuck in our heads that we keeping moving forward without ever taking the time to enjoy the chaos around us. I’m going to try and fix that. Instead of barreling ahead toward a goal I half-know is not based in reality, I’m going to breathe it in and just go for the next two years. If there is ever a time in our lives when we acknowledge true lessons are in everything around us, we just need to see their merit. I joined this to learn as much as I could about myself, the world around me, and my worth, I plan to keep that preconceived notion in the reality bin.  Be Easy, -Matt

1) You sniff the book you’re reading to see what scent the cover is 2) You have a long debate on whether to kill the spiders in your room, or whether to leave them be so they can continue eating the mosquitoes 3) You consider it a good lunch if they left the chicken heads out of the soup 4) You no longer think of dogs as cute but as the most violent gangs in your town 5) You no longer need an alarm, that’s what the 4am roosters are for 6) You catch yourself talking to friends and family from home in broken english 7) You cry when realizing that your care package didn’t have everything you asked for 8) You realize knee sweat is a real thing 9) You sleep more during the day than you do at night 10) You think having 6 people in the backseat is no longer ‘that crowded’ because unlike last time, this time a baby didn’t take a dump.

Starbucks, you’ve done it again. Even from six thousand miles from home, you still bring me the yuppie juice I so desperately need. Without this, the days on end without electricity would leave me to listen to nothing but Khmer Karaoke. For the days with electricity Allowing me to stay connected with the world of Blackberries, Facebook and CNN.   Without you, I’d probably have dengue again, or at least wouldn’t have as much fun.  Mum, you’re a rockstar. This is my life juice. For the times when the 3am rooster calls, 4am dog fights, 5am pig fights, or all day harping via Host Aunt seem to be endless. And most of all, all the calls, chats, skype sessions, and texts from everyone. Don’t think this whole adventure would be as doable without your support and jokes. 

To preface, I love it here. Things are good, but there are things which drive me insane, and this is one of those times I just feel the need to share. I have a host family of 6 people: -The Mum: Great lady, lets me do what I need to do and is fun to talk to -The Dad: Deputy School Director and a true gent -The kids: 3 of em and they’re good to have around -The aunt…: I’m assuming very well intentioned, but for the love of God does not know the meaning of boundaries, privacy, or what a closed door means. For the past few weeks has taken to force feeding me, barging in my room at all times of the day, getting mad when I’m exercising and should be showering ” Why would you do this now, it is time for showering” or my favorite…unlocking my door at 5 am this morning to barge in and tell me I’m sleeping too late. I don’t have anything to do today, there are no classes I need to attend, and I was rather excited to have a relaxing morning…bye bye I get the whole integration of family, I definitely get the need to make this seem like the best place in the world, but I am being rather worn down by her. I don’t play well with others when I want alone time, as many of you know about me. When I put my face out in public, I try to be as polite as possible, but it’s like going into a panda den. You may find Pandas nice and cuddly in person, but don’t fuck with their den. That’s their place. I get officially an 8x8 room to have to my own and it is constantly being bombarded like Dresden. The food she left in my room that I was not made aware of (she thinks if she places it in here without me knowing it, I’ll eat it) was eaten away by mice last night and is now all over my floor, and it’s only 6:41am and I’m already peeved. Trying to remember the things she’s gone through having survived the Khmer Rouge time, but there are times when I can’t just be as conciliatory. This whole science project is about finding balance and while I am trying to do that, I don’t know where I should concede or where I should politely ask for her to butt the f out. Oh…and school is a joke as of now. -Teachers: Don’t like teaching English. My Counterparts don’t have their books and seem fine with showing up 30 minutes late to a class that only lasts 1 hour. -Students: Don’t speak a word of english, even the 11th grade students. No books, no interest, no attendance. If you read this and rolled your eyes, I know it sounds trivial, but when it’s your entire life, it seems just as important as getting a pop-tart is to a 6 year old. (pretty important) So, I’ll try and keep the bitching to a minimum, but in a land where already so much of your every day has been taken from you and you’re attempting to find a new balance, these seemingly trivial things take on a whole new meaning. Now to debate if taking a shower is worth it to have to be berated by her or just run for the cafe for breakfast….decisions decisions. Be easy, -Matt

04:00- ah shit, I hate roosters…and dogs..and…pigs? Is that a pig? I can’t even tell… 05:00- Yea…that’s definitely a pig…fighting a rooster? Nah…can’t be. 06:00- Should I get up? ….eh what else am I gonna do? 07:15- yea…I should probably get up…but I’m not sweating yet… 08:30- yea, should have gotten up…the twisted sisters have started their queries as to why I’m not up yet. I’m not as good with Khmer when my face is lodged between two pillows. 08:45-9:45- Yoga…had to lock the doors to prevent a breech by the twisted sisters. 1 hour of quiet time and….crippling heat…should I open the door? hell no. 10:00- freezing bucket shower…glad I worked up to this at least…how is the water so cold in this country? Do they drop ice in this?  11:00- No, I do not want 4 bowls of rice, oh yea…sure just pile it on…where’s that dog when you need it?  12:15- Great…being chased by around 3 dogs all intent on giving me rabies. At least this gets me to the Iced coffee sooner.  13:30- Playing guitar would be so much more relaxing if I didn’t have half the neighborhood staring at me…just close your eyes and imagine you’re not in a zoo. 14:45- Really glad my mum bought me these headphones, I can’t even hear what they’re telling me I should do right now…back to reading. 17:09- damn…long nap. 17:43- HOPE BAI? MATT HOPE BAI?? N’YAM N’YAM MAHOPE!  17:45- I will begrudgingly eat this, but I will not like it…and you will be cursed in english once I leave this table.  18:15- how does this water stay so freaking cold?! Eh…at least I have a nice romantic candle setting to set the mood… 18:45- Back to reading…I wonder how many books I can finish in a month. 20:30- Ah yeah, those wonderful Buddhist chants sound SO much better when there are speakers the size of skyscrapers and ‘Pokerface’ blaring in Khmer. Nothing says meditation like Lady GaGa does.  00:00- Bye fan…I’ll see you at 05:00.

Summer storms always did something for me. Something about the way the heat seems to dissipate with the first rung of thunder, followed by the breeze and then the sheets of rain that pour. Cambodian storms seem to be infinitely better. Having spent the better part of yesterday and last night pouring sweat and trying to find refuge in the few and far in between breezes, laying in my bed reading Crime and Punishment, listening to Page France, and having my newly purchased fan and best friend, has probably been one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had since my move to Koh Kong. It’s been pouring for the better part of 3 hours this lazy afternoon and I can’t even begin to describe how the simplicity of it all has me with a dumb grin on my face. Things don’t get much better than when you take the time to appreciate the things in life we take for granted. In the end, it’s those day to day things that I find myself appreciating more and more with my time here. With the stress of moving in, adjusting to the things we all assumed we hurdled the first time (yes we know how to eat, do our own laundry, speak the language, and yes…even shower), even if our host families don’t seem to believe us.  I’m starting teaching this coming Monday, meeting with a friend at Wildlife Alliance, an NGO two hours by boat north of here in the Cardamom Mountains, and starting to have ideas left and right about how I want to spend my time here.  Life is what we make of it, Peace Corps is no different. You can sit and watch The Wire every day, you can read, or you can do something, or as I’m assuming will happen, have a healthy mix of it all. Without being tied down to those commitments in the States, my time here seems so much more open ended. I plan to make my time here something to look back on and realize that this is when I put things together and shaped something real out of this whole experience.  Just another rainy day thought.  Be easy, -Matt

9 weeks, 315 bowls of rice, 78 oddly colored soups, 84 mosquito bites, bout of dengue, 63 squats, 15 spiders, and 1,512 hours of sweating later we’ve come to swear in.  Donning the slacks, white button up and a tie, not to mention wearing my Sperry’s for the first time in 2 months. It’s been two of the quickest, longest months of my life here and I gotta say, I really felt like swear in was going to be a much bigger release, a sense of affirmation. However, with a few changes, not to mention the usual fun with any bureaucratic event, many of us are just ready for our time to be sworn in and then the festivities that will follow.  After today, it’s the end of pledge season and making final preparations for our 3 month lock down in our provinces. After a counter part conference where our various Cambodian health center staff, school staff, etc came to discuss our mission here and to work on making the next three months of school, community life, and everything in between as useful as possible. All in all, it was good to have and made me feel like I have some control in this life.  In some ways, today feels like the hours before graduation, that feeling of finality and moving on to the next thing. Add the heat and amount of time we’ll be standing and listening to horrible music, I’d say it was like initiation, but all in all I’m ready to jump and get moving on the next step.  Congrats to all the K4’s for making it this far, and thanks to my family and friends for being there to keep me entertained. Congrats DX for the fall line up. Be easy -Matt

Ah the smell of autumn. The wind in the trees, the cool nights, the hustle of kids running to class. Something about the change of colors signifies a changing of guards, a sense of finality of the summer months. Too bad Cambodia has 2 seasons, neither of which is not hot, not to mention any of the other things I mentioned. Well, take that back, the bananas are starting to change color.  These past two months have gone a lot faster than I’d have imagined, but then again, I think any sentimental bastard always says as much. We’re on the one week mark till swear in and the atmosphere in Prey Chor hints to as much. With the Language Proficiency Interview 2 days away, we’ve been cramming the various quacking sounds into our heads, reminding ourselves of the differences between “plien” and “pleeun” (rain and electricity) and thousands just like it. The Fam here has a good final meal set up for me on Thursday night before I head down to Kampong Cham on Friday. After a weekend in KC, it’s up to Phnom Penh till the 26th. Oh, forgot to mention, I’m one of three giving the speech to the heads of state in Cambodia…not in english. So that’s added a fun twist to the week ahead.  Now that I’ve finally sold out and got the modem for mobile internet and freed my laptop from it’s prison, it’s been good talking to everyone in the states again. Weird to know the welcome week rituals, the parties, the issues with IFC, TDR, rush, and papers are still just as tedious as ever. This time last year, and years before I’d be bitching about my work load, sitting in AC, getting ready for the colder days of autumn, and wishing I was somewhere else. Well…here I am, somewhere else. The entire province is without power for the next three days, so I’m now up to showering 4-5 times a day just for a bit of a reprieve. Other than that, same as always, and I’m good. 

Been a while since I last updated…mainly due to the fact that while being crammed into a Tuk Tuk (the very Tuk Tuk that was hit by a car, and had 7 people in an otherwise 4 person area) I was unfortunate enough to have dropped my iPhone onto the streets of Phnom Penh. Lose. However, this was during a night of Phnom Penh clubbing (The similarities to Tijuana are astounding, including the token Cambodian man wearing a sombrero and giving out tequila shots), which I guess we can look at as a sacrafice to the gods of TJ partying. The days previous to the loss of my dear friend, were a bit of a blur. I guess it all started on the previous Saturday, when we were told where we would be spending our next two years here in wonderful, balmy Kampuchea. That night was spent celebrating the birthday (big 23) and making preparations to visit our sites the next day. The majority of my 23 birthday was spent traveling down to Koh Kong ( a province to the south west of the country, coastal, waterfalls, rainforests, winding rivers, rapids, and rare animals). By the time we arrived, the rain had been relentless, and had no signs of letting up. After a birthday dinner on the water consisting of Corona, Brautwurst, saurkraut, and flaming b-52’s, the night was done. All in all, great birthday, thanks to all those in the states for the wishes, miss you all. The next few days were spent at my site, a tiny highway side town along a river called Botam Sakor (also known as Andeng Tuk) on an inlet peninsula in the middle of Koh Kong, half an hour from the ocean by boat. It’s small, and I’m still without permanent housing at site, but the area itself is absurdly gorgeous. First plans when I move to site include buying a hammock, case of Angkor, a boat (aparently only $40) and a fishing rod. The site’s great, the people seem nice, and the transport to either Sihanoukville (cancun meets S.E. asia) and Koh Kong (sleepy beach town) is easily accessible and both lie only 1.5 hours to either. I’ll throw some pictures up once I finally get my internet situation figured out (3g service and a usb chord). These last few days at our training site should prove to be interesting. Have a lot to get taken care of before then, and then it’s off Phnom Penh for swear in and final preparations before moving to the jungles. Things are good, and hoping they continue to be so. Miss you all in the states, and hope things are going well for you too. Keep in touch, you have no idea how much even a wall post makes my day the one time a week I can check em. Take it easy.

After a full week of teaching 7th graders English and attempting to stomach the massive amounts of khmer fish I’ve been so graciously given, I’m pretty worn out. Back in Kampong Cham with everyone and happy to be here. Glad to see familiar faces and take it easy for the first time in a while. People here have been a big help readjusting to life outside of AC and HBO and want to say thanks to everyone who checked up on me during my wonderful bout of Dengue. It’s been a rough few weeks but it’s really making me a stronger individual. All is well. My birthday is in 6 days (coincidentally the same say we find out and meet our permanent site) so that is going to be an interesting 23 birthday to say the least. I’ll keep you updated. Be easy. -Matt

First may I say, I am so bored. When you aren’t able to walk or eat or anything, one would think it would be a pleasure to simply lay. However, the bootleg HBO provided at long live hotel has provided the same 5 movies on repeat. Sorry for how boring this post is, but when you’ve done nothing (literally) but stare for the past 6 days, you don’t really gather too many stories. Feeling a lot better, covered in the most obnoxious itchy rash I’ve had in a while. There’s some intense typhoon/monsoon Asian shit storm going on outside my window so there’s some entertainment. Had a lot of people checking up on me and while it was somewhat tiresome, I appreciated the support. This really hasn’t been all that bad, aside from the boredom. Hopefully I’ll be headed back to my dengue site this Sunday. Can’t take too much more of this. Peace, -Matt

Great band, shitty virus. I always said I was looking forward to the Cambodian lifestyle; the kroma, the rice, the bike rides through rice paddies, and all those things that make yuppies dream of jungle paradise. However, with this comes the downsides. My downside? Poopy dengue. I’d love to say that the A/C, hot showers and all the other fringe benefits made up for the swollen face (imagine million dollar baby and the koolaid man), bone joint pain (they don’t call it bonebreak fever for nothin), a 103 fever, and a rash that not only burns but itches at the same time. Luckily for my masochistic self, Cynthia, a fellow K4, is a floor above me in the luxurious live long hotel (thanks for the irony peace corps) as is Lindsay who had a an unfortunate run in with a sharp object on her hand. Aside from how much this sucks (and it’s supposed to get worse over the next 2 weeks) I’m staying in good spirits and just watching a lot of tv. I have my iPhone with me and will be on skype (username spot018) if you wanna talk, cause I’m miserable and would love nothing more than to hear a voice from home or some good stories. Platelets are down, and if the drop more by tomorrow. It’s off to luxurious Bangkok to lie in a hospital bed for the next 2 weeks! Man, I love this. Fml. Be easy all, -matt

Great band, shitty virus. I always said I was looking forward to the Cambodian lifestyle; the kroma, the rice, the bike rides through rice paddies, and all those things that make yuppies dream of jungle paradise. However, with this comes the downsides. My downside? Poopy dengue. I’d love to say that the A/C, hot showers and all the other fringe benefits made up for the swollen face (imagine million dollar baby and the koolaid man), bone joint pain (they don’t call it bonebreak fever for nothin), a 103 fever, and a rash that not only burns but itches at the same time. Luckily for my masochistic self, Cynthia, a fellow K4, is a floor above me in the luxurious live long hotel (thanks for the irony peace corps) as is Lindsay who had a an unfortunate run in with a sharp object on her hand. Aside from how much this sucks (and it’s supposed to get worse over the next 2 weeks) I’m staying in good spirits and just watching a lot of tv. I have my iPhone with me and will be on skype (username spot018) if you wanna talk, cause I’m miserable and would love nothing more than to hear a voice from home or some good stories. Platelets are down, and if the drop more by tomorrow. It’s off to luxurious Bangkok to lie in a hospital bed for the next 2 weeks! Man, I love this. Fml. Be easy all, -matt

Great band, shitty virus. I always said I was looking forward to the Cambodian lifestyle; the kroma, the rice, the bike rides through rice paddies, and all those things that make yuppies dream of jungle paradise. However, with this comes the downsides. My downside? Poopy dengue. I’d love to say that the A/C, hot showers and all the other fringe benefits made up for the swollen face (imagine million dollar baby and the koolaid man), bone joint pain (they don’t call it bonebreak fever for nothin), a 103 fever, and a rash that not only burns but itches at the same time. Luckily for my masochistic self, Cynthia, a fellow K4, is a floor above me in the luxurious live long hotel (thanks for the irony peace corps) as is Lindsay who had a an unfortunate run in with a sharp object on her hand. Aside from how much this sucks (and it’s supposed to get worse over the next 2 weeks) I’m staying in good spirits and just watching a lot of tv. I have my iPhone with me and will be on skype (username spot018) if you wanna talk, cause I’m miserable and would love nothing more than to hear a voice from home or some good stories. Platelets are down, and if the drop more by tomorrow. It’s off to luxurious Bangkok to lie in a hospital bed for the next 2 weeks! Man, I love this. Fml. Be easy all, -matt

Ah yea. Beer, tuna melts, and a western toilet. After two weeks of crickets, (surprisingly delicious), rice, questionable water, squatter toilets and using my hand as my tp has allowed me to appreciate the finer things in life. Don’t get me wrong. I love this shit. I live in a freakin tree house, my family is a great set up, and the friends I’ve made in the K4 are down right pleasant. The fruit is other worldly, the beer surprisingly good with ice, and listening to music at the end of the day has kept me happy as a clam. I live in a freakin video game. I fight off rabid animals, walk through sprawling rice fields, wake up to monks chanting and the stars at night are unbelievable. I may be bitching (duh) but I’m living and loving every minute of it. For the first time in a while, I feel alive and it’s a great feeling. No distractions, no bullshit. I’m here in the moment and plan to take full advantage of it. Peace and love. I’ll update when I can. Love and miss you all. Much love, -francypants.

Never thought I’d miss simple things so much. Never thought I’d love the lack of more complicated things so much. It’s been a roller coaster first week here in Kampuchea. Moved into our trainee family stays and for the most part it’s been a great time. The host family stay has been great, the family has been a relief from the long days of study and technical sessions. Living next to a temple area has it’s ups and downs. 4am wake up calls from Buddhist drums ensures I’ll never be late to anything. I’ll have more stories when I’m not typing on this iPhone. I may even spoil you with dreamy pictures of rabid dogs, ant infestations, squatter toilets, and my tree house. In all seriousness, things are good and I’m eating well (if anything, too much) rocking language sessions keeps me going. I’ll keep you guys updated when I can. Be easy, -matt

San Francisco- Short, sweet, Karaoke in a Korean bar drinking Corona.  Hong Kong- Over priced Massage…completely worth every penny. Phnom Penh- Jet lag, knee sweat (yes it exists), and immunizations. Here I am, 3 days later in Kampong Cham. A provincial capital 2.5 hours Northeast of Phnom Penh. The past day and a half have consisted of language learning, long hours of lectures, and early nights. First and foremost, this heat is fucking absurd. Granted, leaving the states meant leaving 111 degree heat with 80% humidity, but at the end of the day, AC saves all. Here, for some reason, even the coldest shower doesn’t stop you from feeling as if you forgot the toweling off part. I always read about the heat and how people marvel at it, and well…I’ll be damned, they were right. Shit sucks.  However, the great thing about this heat is I’ve already learned to appreciate the fans, the breezes, the evening rains, and that cold beer that I partially use for consumption but mostly on the back of my neck to cool me down.  1 day in and already had Crickets and spider. Crickets are just great. The Spider…well the legs are great. Biting into the thorax is about as appetizing as …well yea doing what that is. the legs taste like a very well seasoned soft shelled crab, the crickets are just great. Who knew.  For the record, this place is just the shit. I don’t think I could have been put in a better location than this. The food is fantastic, the culture is just odd enough to keep me constantly intrigued, and the beer and food cheap enough to keep me happy. As guessed, I overpacked. Congratulations Peace Corps, you were right. I can’t wear shorts, so those 4 pairs are useless. Next time you look at your clothing tags, see if it’s made in cambodia, cause most likely..it was. Which means instead of bringing the massive piles of shit I did, I could have bought cheap copies for around 16000 riel (4 bucks) Uh, lets see…what else can I tell of this wonderful sweat filled adventure so far.. Learned how to wash my ass off after shitting, minus the toilet paper. before getting all grossed out, “would you rather wipe shit off your face with a towel or with soap and water?” Does make a bit of sense, yeah? Thought so. I’m happy, I’m healthy, and I’m loving every minute of this (granted it is only the first three days) So don’t worry, know I’m doing well and am surprisingly low on the Frangina bitching status. Life is good. We’re moving out to our training sites on Tuesday which means awkward family introductions, lack of communication skills and no internet. So this may be my last post for a bit of time, but I’ll have my phone number up on Facebook if you feel so inclined to call me via skype or send me a text. Miss you all and hope you’re doing great, cause for once, I really am. Peace and love. Be easy, -Matt