January 10,2012

Again I am having writers block not sure why it has become so much work to write a blog entry but it has. I do find it really weird how I can dread with all my might returning to the village and then when I get back be so happy, it is so weird. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks. I am starting my research so that is going to keep me busy as well as my other meetings that I have. I am really excited to start my research because I feel like I actually have a purpose which I love to death. I am also still training for the ½ marathon and am really excited about it. I am not sure when it happened but I really do love running it is so much fun and you feel so good when you are done. I am reading a book at the moment about ultra runners and it is insane. I swear so people really are super human.

Also got a package from Jenna and it was awesome. Christmas cookies, I felt like I was back at home. I am also getting really excited for my dad and aunt to come it should be so much fun. Just a little nerve racking tryong to figure things out and make sure we are giving things enough time, I know they are going to have a good time no matter what but I just want to make sure they have the best trip ever. I am really excited for them to come and see how I live but I think I am even more excited to play cards and have some beers with them on the beach. I think it is going to be

awesome.

January 17, 2012

I have been meaning to write for the last week but not sure what has happened. I have been really enjoying life in the village and the slow pace for once, which is saying a lot, not sure if I am just getting used to being here and accepting this is how life is or what, but it has been really enjoyable. I have got into so what of a pattern. I sleep until I feel like getting up and then I go for a nice long run around the village and greet everyone in the morning on their way to the town or to their farms. At first I used to be really self conscious because I was running and what would they think, but now it does not even phase me and they are pretty use to it now. They all greet me to and state the obvious as usual. After running, I do house work and hang out until after lunch and then I go walk around the village and greet people before coming back home cooking dinner and going to bed. Pretty simple and straight forward. Some days I have to say how crazy it is that the time flies by and then other days it doesn’t. Today would be an example of when the day just keeps going. I woke up this morning and ran into town (8K WOOT WOOT) and then got my bike back. My bike was at the shop getting a lot of things fixed. One thing I have learned do not let people borrow things that you want back in the same condition that it left it. Unfortunate this time because it was actually to another volunteer but after lots of new parts it is back and running which is awesome. This is good news because this means that I can now easily get in and out of town again and it can help me train for the ½ marathon and hopfully later for the PALM if everything works out. Cross your fingers. But anyways I got back and did some work on the computer made lunch (dried fish and ugali, I am really turning Tanzo), and I still have lots of time before I have to go vaccinate chickens.

But this routine is all going to change because next week I have to go to Dar for the week which I am really looking forward too. I have some meetings which are going to be boring but it is going to be great because I get to meet our new Country Director (she sounds awesome) and hang out with friends that I only get to see every once in a while and of course eat some really good food. I want to go to this Ethiopian restaurant that is supposed to be amazing. It is going to be great.

So I know I have said that I was going to start my research but it has not exactly happened yet. I swear I am getting closer I just have not gone out and started yet. Both because people are gone and I keep making excuses and putting it off. But I am really happy that my dad and JP are coming because this is going to force me to start and finish before they come. I work better on deadline anyway.

I went to Paul’s house last week for his birthday. It was great a few other volunteers came out to and we made some really good food and taught them how to play eukre. It was great to teach people so now we have people to play with but god is it hard and painstaking. First because it actually is a really hard game to teach and trying to teach it makes you realize how crazy the game sounds. But it all worked out and they actually ended up beating me and Paul. It is hard to play with new people because they are such wildcards. It was great though. We also made mango bread and BBQ pork which was awesome. Another volunteers birthday is sat so I am already looking forward to the festivities although this one possibly includes a disco and I am not really a disco person but it should be fun.

My garden is looking really good considering it has only rained a handful of times within the last 2 months but it looks gorgeous all the same. Paputo who is 3 was at my house last week and saw that I had insects all over the walls and told me I needed to use the chemicals to get rid of them. It made me laugh getting told by a 3 year old that my house was dirty. Also crazy because I am the one that sprays everyone’s houses for insects. Which thank god I am getting rid of tomorrow. I am giving the business to my neighbor as an income generating projects it is super easy and should give her some more money to work with.

January 18, 2012

Not sure what happened but while I was making amazing pancakes, I thought today would be a great day to blog. Almost feel like things are getting back to normal. I woke up to the sound of knocking at an ungodly hour to my neighbor asking if I was ready to go for a run. I really do enjoy waking up on my own but I have to say I am not used to having no personal space even with a whole house to myself, so we went running and I think it might have killed her. We will find out tomorrow when we have to go for 4.5 miles. Not sure how well she is going to fair.

I then had a women’s meeting to day where we were suppose to make fuel efficient stoves and of course we did not because we were not able to get all the material yet. After much debate between me and Jesscia (Jessica won) we decided to wait until we had different equipment but not before I voiced my concerns that we needed to do this and I am starting to count the months down until I am done. They said do not worry, but how can I not worry when this has been one of the projects I have wanted to do that I think will greatly help the community and it has already taken me a year to get this far. They still said it is better to go slow than fast which they are right of course I just really really want to do these stoves. Thinking about it, this would be me pushing the community to do something out of my own interest but I know this would greatly help them I just wish they moved faster. But then told me we would do them before I leave and I hope they are right. But the women are really good even if they do drive me crazy, they mean well. I have also started to see that I am adopting the African time a little to well . I swear I can spend an entire day doing nothing and not think twice about it and am actually sad to find out I have things to do. I really am enjoying myself but this has made me really lazy and my work and house lives have taken a toll. I am really lazy and am hardly accomplishing anything, at least by American standards. But I did start my research today, I finally gathered up the will and started and are already have to interviews ready for tomorrow. I am still really scared/ nervous about them but I figure the sooner I start the easier it is going to be. It already feels a little easier which is good although I thought it was hard in the US to explain my program try here where most people don’t even go to secondary school and then they don’t even speak the same language as me although I guess we do now, even if my Swahili is somewhat special.

I have been thinking about if another volunteer should be sent here and I have decided that another one would be good because they have gotten used to me and the type of work that I do and how I can help so I think they will have an easier time here. But also I think they will also need to realize that they are not going to do any earth shattering things. But I really do have a good village, I really like the people and have even found that I do not mind the landscape and environment even if there is no snow. Especially during the rainy season it is gorgeous I have a great view of the mountains and endless farms.

Also I am doing my last round of vaccinations before I hand them off to someone else. It makes me nervous to see what will happen but I figure now is better with me here being able to see the results or lack there if them. I wanted to do it this one last time because I wanted some more face time with my villagers before I do interviews to get a better idea of who certain people are because although I live in a small community and talk to a lot of people, most I have no idea what their names are or where they live. Crazy.

I made potatoes pancakes today and I have to say they were horrible. I think I have been spoiled between 5th sts and my dads. I did eat them but I have to say it was out of hunger not like. Also I have to admit that have started to eat a lot of bugs, I seem to have a bug infestation within my food and they are really tiny and I am at the point where I really do not care anymore and I just mix them in as if they were not even there. I know this is bad but it just seems like a lot of work kind of reminds me of my mom and dad’s fight with moths in the kitchen cupboards.

January 19, 2011

I again got woke up to go running which I guess is good, I just really like waking up on my own. I never really thought I was one to sleep but more and more I feel like I am turning into Hannah with my sleep. But anyways I got up and went running and then sprayed a few houses with bug spray I am turning into the chicken and bug lady, not sure if this is a good thing but then I went back to bed which was really nice.

I finally put my house back together and have stopped being super lazy just in time to leave again. I have been a pig the last few weeks, although I am sure by my America standards is not messy at all but here I am a huge neat freak so not having everything in order was killing me yet not killing me enough to actually do anything about it. Funny how that happens.

I did more of my research today and it was really nice, I had some great conversations with people even if I did feel like the biggest idiot asking them the questions and then asking if I could measure some of their firewood, I think they understood why but really it does sound kind of crazy. It was really fun though. I talked to one guy that ad seen a video that I guess was American because all he thinks is that people walk around shooting each other and so America is a dangerous place compared to Tanzania which is super peaceful. I told him how can that be when they beat people to death, he did not think that that counted. Interest enough. This also reminded me that I think I have Jesca scared of America as well because I was telling her about where I live and some of the problems around the area. Not the best thing to do but I reassured her that it was a peaceful place yet I do feel safer here than I do walking from my car to my house at night some days. Although here I do worry about snakes, insects, and the occasional crazy person.

I have been telling people about my dad and JP coming and it is going to be interesting what everyone thinks of them and at the same time what they think about how and where I live. I am interested to see if it matches up with what I have been saying or if it is completely different.

Also I have an influx of eggs this week so I made chocolate cake with coconut frosting. It was pretty good but I have found for the most part that I actually enjoy making the food more than actually eating it unless it is no bake cookies. Though I love. Otherwise I am just as happy to give it away. Hoping tomorrow to try and make refried beans with flour tortias but I am not sure yet if I want to spend all the time but what it really boils down to is if I want to start the charcoal stove. We will see.

January 20, 2012

Yup, I have definitely lived here to ling already. I was suppose to go to a meeting at 3pm and did not get there until 4:30 to wait and find out that no one was coming. And instead of being mad about it I did not care at all. It was crazy, last year that would have made me so mad. There was no meeting because everyone was fetching water from the tank because the tank has been broken for weeks and nobody had any, so it was a legitimate excuse but I was just so surprised to find out that I was not mad at all. Crazy.

Besides that I woke up and ran 7 miles today and it felt great. Although I did come home and crash but of course was woken up by people knocking on my door the amount of people that come to my house at the worst times is unbelievable. I never am fully relaxed because I just know someone is going to knock.

I am heading to Dodoma tomorrow and I have to say I have had a great last 2 weeks and I do not really want to leave although I do at the same time but I think I am finally finding my groove after so long although I was talking to Andrew and it probably also has to do with the fact that I know that I am leaving soon but still it has been really really great.

November 1, 2011

So this is the first time that I have not written a blog post in a very long time. I usually try to keep up weekly on them for both my own sanity and to also tell you what I have been up to, but I am not really sure what happened with this month. It has been a month since my last blog post and actually it has been really hard to try and sit down and write this. I am not sure exactly why either because it is not like something horrible has happened although Claire did finally leave me, so this might count as a horrible event although she has found love once again and I think is coming back in February for another long haul possibly. This would be amazing although she would be living on Zanzibar which while it would be awesome is still a trek away so I really would not see her that much. But anyways this month has been crazy in a very good way but any time I went to write any of it down I just had a really hard time like I just wasn’t ready yet or I had writers block, not really sure but it is all going to come out now as I have a layover in Ethiopia which I have to say is surprisingly cold at the moment. Another odd thing is that I am waiting in the terminal and almost everyone is black which I am of course used to but I just thought that since I am going to the US I would see more white people. Also a lot of them are gorgeous. Also I am carrying a 2 ½ foot tall giraffe with me throughout this journey so this must be getting some laughs from some people but I am really excited about it, I think it is going to Andrew’s house warming gift.

So lets tell ya about this month, it has been a whirlwind as usual. I started out the month with a good bye party for Claire which I think I already talked about and then I headed up to Tanga which is on the coast for a Training of Trainers seminar. I am going to be teaching the new volunteers so I got a trip up north which was awesome because I did not necessarily associate the north with happy times. I mean homestay is such a weird time. So much is going on and I also do not like to visit places that I have left. Not sure if this makes sense but I rarely go back to places I used to work and so on and so forth I am not sure why, I just do not. Anyways Tanga was AMAZING. I had a great time with amazing people. I got to go swimming in the ocean which of course was amazing and then I ate a ton of good food. I had coconut crab which was huge, I expected maybe a claw or 2. I swear I got to whole crabs, all for like $6. Ya got to love the sea. Then me and my Friend Rebecca saw some monkeys so of course we went to look at them and right as she went to take a picture they started running at us. So we ran like hell. Not sure if they would of actually hurt me but who wants to take that chance I have enough problems with animals as it is. After this I went to Dodoma because we are planning a girl’s conference with about 8 other volunteers. I am really excited about this because this means a lot of interaction with other volunteers which is always fun and the girls will get to see a new place and meet some new people.

As for work, I have been really busy. Randi and me got 15 boxes of books each from an NGO

called PEN TRUST. It was amazing, we were thinking that we would get like a box or 2 but no we got like 700 books each. So I think are secondary schools are on cloud 9 at the moment with this one. And to top it all off, it was all free we just had to go pick them up. Then just before I left my chickens started showing up. I got the cocks first. They each weigh about 2 K and are going to grown to about 7 each which means that I am going to be really, really scared of them. Because as it is already, they surround me anytime I walk outside and start attacking me. I really wish I was making this up but it is the truth. I feel like I am under house arrest. I also have reason to believe that they think my feet are food because of the green nail polish. I also go the chicks. So at the moment there are 114 chickens living at my house with 84 arriving while I am out of the country. Hopefully everything goes well while I am gone. Which I think it will. They seem to have it under control and are really pulling their weight at the moment which is really good.

On to other things, in Dar I saw 2 horrible things this month. First I saw a mob justice killing. I was at a restaurant and saw a bunch of people running after this man. He was running and running and tons of people were running after him. They surrounded him and killed him. The police showed up with guns and pretty much threw the body in the back of the truck and continued to drive. I was with one of my friends who was a police man and he said that that would not make the paper and a few of those happen every day which is really sad. Then yesterday night while I was waiting for my dinner a fight broke up down the road. All of a sudden people started running to fight, luckily the fight was broken up but I saw a few people running that way with machete’s in their hands. It’s a rough world.

I also walked to and from my house to Mpwapwa one day. It about killed me. I just am not that in shape. But I think I am going to try and run the ½ marathon. I think Randi and Dana talked me into this. I have a lot of training to do if I am going to do this but I think it would be really fun and I would love to cross this off my bucket list. The only problem I am having with this is that is so FREAKIN hot. I swear it just keeps getting hotter. Bring on the rain I really need some new weather. Also we went 8 days last week without water. I am not sure how I am going to explain this to people if the future. I live such a crazy life can you even imagine try to tell people about this. This absolutely trumps the I walked 5 miles up hill in the winter to school. I might even say this trumps Grandma Preston and Grandma Witte’s walk to school but not sure that is a fight I could win.

As for research, I think it is still going. I have to say I think I have become a very good volunteer because I just keep trying to put off my research and push it out of my mind. Still do not have a good reason why, I am just that good and procrastinating. I really want to do research I am just really scared of screwing it up really, really bad. I know this is all my own fault and it is mostly in my head but still that is a lot of pressure. I would rather keep my pressure at a minimum and just keep pushing it off at least until I get back.

November 19, 2011

So I am back in TZ and as usual have mixed feelings about the entire thing. It is weird I was all gung-ho about PC before I left but then I came home and of course and not feeling it as much. I think this might also have something to do with the fact that my chicken project went to shit while I was gone. I do understand that it was partly my fault and partly the women’s groups fault. But the thing is I gave them every resource at their disposal before I left. I left them numbers of the vet, agriculture officer, money for medicine, and even a phone in case something happened and still I think over ½ the chickens died. It just sucks from both sides but I am trying to look forward. I do realize that my expectations for what I want to accomplish have already gone down more. I now am second guessing most of the projects that I still have planned to do that involve other people. I know that sounds ridiculous but I do not want to do things that are not going to work. Although I knew when I started the chicken project that this was a possibility and really my main goal was to get the chickens out of the houses, so I guess I achieved that goal but I am just really discouraged now.

But I was guess it is not that big of a deal, I am getting ready to switch gears and try to put myself more into a school set of mind and focus on my research and writing a first draft of my research paper. Really need to buckle down and try and work on it because that would be a really good use of my time I think.

I think I am also glad that I went home for a second time because it gives me a chance to breath and take a look at what I am doing and what I still want to accomplish. So from that standpoint again it was good that I came home and of course it was a BLAST. I got to see a ton of people, go to Ashleigh’s wedding, and meet the newest Witte.

Also exciting news, I am going to be a bridesmaid twice next year, once for my friend Lindsey and then for Jenna Barr who also asked me to be her maid of honor which is pretty cool. Just thought I would let everyone know if they didn’t already. There are going to be a lot of weddings next year and hopefully I will be home for all of them, cross your fingers.

Also this is going to be interesting because I told all my villagers that I was going to the south of the country and not home. I just did not want to have to deal with all the questions and everything but not sure yet how to explain my new watch and sneakers. I think I am going to just tell them that my mom sent me a package. I wonder if they will believe me. Also freaking out a little about my Swahili for some reason it seems like forever compared to other times when I have left.

Being home I also got asked a lot what I planned to do after I finish school and I have to say that is a good question I really have no idea. I had the idea for a few days of going to get my PHD but really I have no clue so not sure if that is really the best idea. Doesn’t that just put off the inevitable of having to find a job but I would at least be qualified for something. Then today I was thinking that maybe I would like to live in Alaska or CO so then I was thinking what types of jobs I want to do and what I want to work with. Again no clue. I do know that I like when things are more analytical and really liked working in the chemistry labs so I was trying to think of what I would like to do. And then the question of government vs private comes up with just adds more decisions. And worst yet I do not feel qualified to even work at McDonalds at the moment. I feel like all that great chemistry and forestry knowledge that I had just flew away which stinks. So if you are still reading this I think your head probably is spinning as much as mine. SO in the end I still have no clue what I want to do or be when I grow up. Then you have to add that I do love GR and would love to live there but I also think it is the place I want to settle down and I am not sure if I am ready to do that yet. The world is just so big. I do know that I do not what to do international work I think and do not want to live overseas for long periods of time but that is all that I have. And knowing me I could probably be persuaded back into it. Not sure how my brain works but I always end up remembering the good stuff and completely forget the bad stuff which I guess is a good thing until I end up in PC again or something. 

November 22, 2011

I think I have had the worst jet lag ever here. All I can tell ya is that I have slept almost every waking minute since I got off the plane and am sleepy the rest of the time. Just cannot seem to get used to the time. This of course also puts me up at the crack of dawn. But at least it gives me time to think and everything before the day gets going. As I have said when I went home and here, I have mixed feelings about being in PC. I am like a roller coaster when it comes to everything. My mom would also tell you I am sure that it kills her because some days I want to come home that instance and other days I want to extend. Not sure how that works but it does. I think it has something to do with being wrapped up in this PC and culture and wanting to accomplish so much, which is very interesting considering I have hardly accomplished anything at least when it comes to projects, I think thought from learning a new culture stand point I am going good. I mean I cannot speak the language fluently but I can get by and get what I want, I can cook their food, and have friends in the village. I think I am teaching them my culture but not as well. Certain things just are not worth it. Like how we do not like being called fat. I have explained it a few times but they are just so proud when they tell me how fat I am how am I to tell them we do not like that. But I think I am doing an ok job of explaining American culture and leading by example. The only problem is I swear some days it is so hard to get out if the house to even walk around and talk with people in general.

So after much thinking and everything , I guess at least at the current moment I am ok with my situation I mean I am learning some pretty interesting things. I would like however to be more effective at doing projects, but I have kind of giving up on that. I have already decided the last 3 projects I am going to do and then I am done. It is really nerve racking. I am also only doing these projects with certain groups. I know this sounds bad, but it is already killing me with these groups, I cannot take on any more and at least I know these people I can somewhat rely on.

When I got back to the village I found out just how much chickens have died. 100 to be exact. That leaves about 60 still alive. I have been kicking myself all up and down trying to figure out how it could have been done differently. Before I left I gave them money for medicine, a phone with voucher to call people, plenty of food and water, and the numbers of any possible person that might be of use to them. And I still wondering if it would have made a difference if I would have been here, but judging how I reacted to one bird just being sick, I do not think it would have been good. I really think I would have had a major melt down on the degree of last year. It just sucks because there is not much else that could be done, but in the matter of days I went from a good project that I was proud of to I am not sure what at the moment.

So with this project not going as planned and then hearing of other volunteers projects that are also not going as planned, I have to say that I am not big on the project band wagon at the moment. It just stinks, you think you are going to be able to do something but really in the end what most people want is things for free and to not have to do anything to get them. It just sucks.

Also here is something else to add from my village, my mweyekiti (mayor) while I was gone attempted to sell my chickens luckily Jessica was here to stop him and then today he tried asking me for money, a lot of it. Again Jesscia saw my reaction and said just to say that I did not have any. It just sucks. This paired with before I left people were asking why I was not going to do such and such projects only to have to tell them that I actually had planned on it but nobody followed though I what I needed from them. From that stand point, it almost stinks, knowing that the bulk of what I am doing is worthless but what are ya going to do, you have to at least try, although I have to say as a result of trying so much with little result I think it has definitely jaded me some and I at some times do not speak the greatest of TZ but at the same time there are also a lot of good things here. But at the moment I have to say the bad overwhelms the good.

So as of right now, this leaves me to try and work hard on my research and get the bulk of it done in the next few months while also trying to do some small projects. I really want to have a lot of my research project done and in somewhat of a rough draft form before I get back so that it is more of a revision type thing than a O GOD thing. Hopefully that works out. I think I am almost ready to start the actual research so that is good, although of course at the same time scary as hell.

As for how I am coping being the village, it kind of sucks at the moment. I am hoping that the new volunteers will want to hang out more and do things because at the moment nobody really wants to do anything. Paul is more of a loner but I think I might try and get him to play cards once a week and then Randi I think I have lost to the village again. Although this time it is to a boy and a farm which is good for her, but I am pretty sure I will never see her now unless I go to her village, which is fine but I do not necessarily want to be around TZ and in the village when I leave mine. And Jake and Claire have left so that kind of sucks but hopefully some new volunteers will come in. we could use some fresh faces. Tanya is usually down for doing something it just stinks because we live kind of far from each other. I am not sure how she does it, she lives off by herself. She copes with it really good, not sure I could do it with no one around.

November 23, 2011

Still not quite over the jet lag but that is alright because I actually slept through the night last night. Something that very rarely happens here. Not sure when that will happen again though. I talked to the man that bought all my chickens today and he said that some of them might have had a disease but how it spread was because so many chickens were in such a small area. That really sucks. It sucks too because when he told them they need more space, they refused to believe him. Old Jessica tried to tell them that to but I am not really sure what has happened but I get the vibe not everyone cares to much for her. Not really sure what happened there. But anyways they said they were not going to do anything until I came back which stinks. Why can’t they think for themselves and why do I have to hold there hands the entire way it just stinks.

Also not really sure yet what is happening for thanksgiving so far plans have been all over the place which is fine but I really want to be with people and hang out so not sure what is going to happen. I do know that I am not going to be alone though because I cannot imagine that will be good for me, especially after being home. So at the moment it might be in a hotel room in Dodoma or at my friend Tanya’s house. Not sure yet depends on certain people and what they decide they want to do.

I have also come to the conclusion that I have a really hard time saying no to people and that I always try to make everyone happy which is probably good but it is making me insane, this thanksgiving planning is turning into way to much effort when all I wanted to do was spend it with people.

Also really, really love my kindle. I am having a hard time putting it down to do actual work. Luckily not to much actual work is needed at the moment considering I am at a standstill with my chickens and not really sure where to go from there.

December 10, 2011

It has been a long time since my last blog, mostly because I was really just too busy and entertaining people. So I will try and get everything in. I went to Tanya’s house for Thanksgiving which was really fun because I have not been to her house yet so that was nice to visit. We did not do to much, mostly I read my Kindle and we hung out. It is interesting how different our villages and lives are considering we are both here doing about the same thing.

Then I had 2 new volunteers come and stay with me for a week which was awesome. I showed them what it was like to live in a village and tried to give them a few pointers. Not sure if they were helpful or not. We went on a hike everyday in my mountains and then did yoga at night. It was great. I probably also ate better at my site than I ever had. It was a blast, I need to get more people over to my house, it is so much fun.

Then Tanya and me went up to Tanga to teach the new class about working with people in there community. It was really great but really hard to answer some of their questions and give them an idea of what it is really going to be like because it is so different for everyone. Also really crazy to look and see what I was like when I first got here. I really wish I was that way now. Now I think I have a very negative view of aid and TZ, but more on that later. It was great but I never thought I would be so excited to get back to Dodoma, it is so humid and hot up there.

I talked to my dad and I think he is coming the end of Feb and we are going to run a ½ marathon together. Or at least start it together. I am pretty sure that he is going to kick my butt, but either way it is going to be great. I also think Stephi might think that we are running up the mountain. I really hope she continues to think this.

OK so my mind is really f-ed up at the moment. I left Dodoma today to come back to the village and then whole time all I could think of how I am not doing anything or making a difference anywhere. And how I do not want to do any projects because nothing is going to work and I do not think they use the knowledge that I give them at all. I just do not know I feel kind of like I am doing nothing here and then I think of what people in the village think of me. Do they think I have done anything. I mean they gave me this house to live in to help better the community and I honestly am not sure if I have helped at all. I know PC has 3 goals and only the first is about development but it is hard to think about it that way. I mean what am I doing here if they do not want my help. I then went to Mpwapwa and had a discussion with Mathayo about this. He did not necessarily help the situation because he is just as frustrated. He thinks that the gogo people are just really lazy or at least ok with living how they have lived forever. But how can that be if they asked for a PC volunteer. I cannot figure it out. And then I think with the projects that I have done did I really help them at all or was it me doing what I wanted. Did I really give them what they wanted and need. And honestly I can not answer this and it is sad to say that it is almost to late. I mean I am still going to do a few projects but really there is not that much time left at least for anything big. I am not sure what I expected coming into PC but this was not it which is crazy because I really did not know what to expect but then again I am not really sure why/how I ended up here. I mean I really do like it because it was a good way to get my masters but at the same time why am I getting my masters. I have no clue what I am going to do and really I am not sure if I am qualified to do anything after being here for 2 years. Sure I can survive in a different culture and country but how does that cross over to work. I am not sure. I feel like everything I have learned as melted away. Not really sure where this is going, I think I am just rambling. But anyways I got back to site and I am still struggling with what to do with village and how to help better at least one person’s life. But it is crazy I am not as stressed as I thought I would be being back here. But then again it is only the first day. I also think this has something to do with Claire being gone to, although Randi is still here. It is just not the same. We are going two different ways without PC service and she is really busy with her own problems and such. After all of this I still think I am glad that I am doing PC but I have to say does it really have to be this hard, I really think that there are better ways to go about this.

The other thing that is bothering me is I am not sure what my thoughts on AID are anymore. Before coming here I thought that it was a great thing but I did not really know anything about it. I just figured they helped people better their lives but now I am not sure if it is such a good thing. I mean there are good things that come out of aid but at the same time I kind of think there has to be a better way to help people. But a lot of people think that just nobody has come up with a better way to help people better themselves. But then I think do these people really need to better themselves. Would it be so bad if we left them as they were and let them live their lives how they want to. I mean my village seems happy with the way things are.

Another thing that started all of this is old Jessica asked one of the volunteers for money. I am not sure what to make of this yet. Tanya said that maybe she understood wrong but I really think that if I understand that sentence most people do as my Swahili is not that good but I could be wrong. But this brings me to what do I do about this. I disappoints me so much I just do not understand why she would do this, she knows that I do not give out money. I saw her once after this and I just got a pit in my stomach I just do not know what to do. I am going to try and just forget it or possibly just avoid her but I just cannot believe that this happened.

Also young Jessica planting my whole garden while I was in the shower. I cannot believe her she is like superman. I wish I could be as good a friend to her as she is to me. She is amazing. I also wish I had the vocabulary to say how I felt but hopefully she gets it. She has to be one of the best things about this village and I can honestly say that if she was not here I would not be here. She helps me so much. She is the one that also told me one day when I was crying in her house that my work here was not done yet. She defiantly is a gift from God.

Sorry this was a lot of rambling but I feel a lot better and a lot more clear which is really really good because I have not be feeling so hot about how everything is going here and honestly I am really happy that I have my research here because it defiantly keeps me here and keeps me going. It gives me a reason to stay.

Also I got home and my house was locked from the inside because I apparently shut the door to hard. So instead of trying to figure away to unlock it we just knocked a hole into the door. So now I have a huge hole in the side of my door. Wonder what kind of animals I am going to attract.

December 12, 2011

I am not sure why this, but I have not been able to turn my computer on at night the last 2 nights to blog. I am not sure why this is, I have all these thoughts in my head I just find myself having a hard time turning my computer on. Luckily I needed to finish my homework today so I thought that I would blog first.

Things are going good in the village. I am feeling a little better about being here. I am still trying to figure out my projects and everything but things are looking up. It just stinks that I am not sure what I can and cannot get done here. I know that I have lots of time here still but at the same time everything takes so long that I do need to think about time at the same time. So yeah still have a lot of thinking to do.

After 2 days of laundry and cleaning my house, I almost have it back to normal although looking in the past I have decided that there is nothing normal about living here. I have never had one of those schedules to tell me what I am going to do on which day although I really wish I have more of a schedule because I think that would make me feel better or at least give me some purpose at the moment. Luckily I have the next 2 days to finish my homework and figure out projects. After that I am not sure what I am going to do but that will keep me busy for a bit and then I also have to work out everyday so there is something else. I am only up to 3 miles but it feels good so hopefully the miles will just keep on coming although I am finding it hard to wake up in the mornings. Not sure why, I think it might have something to do with the fact that it is so quite here and a little chilly which I really like but also I think a little of it is that I am in a rut and am just thinking what is the point. I know this is not the case but I cannot seem to get myself out of this. I know there are people here that want to do and accomplish things, this chicken project has just upset me more than I thought. I thought that I could fool myself into thinking that we did perform the goals and everything but I still have in the back of my mind that that there are lots of chickens dead. And I know this not necessarily my fault but at the same time I feel like I could of helped if I was here so that is kind of weighing me down. And it probably doesn’t help that it is Christmas time. I think Christmas is going to be good this year, we are going to a missionaries house up north which should be fun. Tanya went last year and said it was really nice and fun and reminded her of being with her family so I am really excited for that. I then thought I had plans for the new year, but now I am not so sure. So stuff has come up so now I am not really sure what I want to do.

I am kind of all over the place if you cannot tell. But I am still trudging a long. I really want to start my research and get that done with too. I cannot believe how long it is taking but I know this is my fault because I am so slow at getting things done. I just want to make sure I get it done in time so that if I find out that I forgot something, I can fix it before

I leave and have not messed up all of my research and data.

It IS REALLy weird how you start out the day in one mood and then you switch it. This morinign I wanted nothing more than to leave Africa forever and not return. I was on the verge of tears and honestly really scared that I was falling back into a depression and what I was like last October. But it is crazy instead of running from everything, I stayed in my village and worked through things. I then went over to young Jessica’s and this made me feel a whole lot better. I just do not understand how I can be so all over the place and want to leave so bad one minute and then finding myself thinking how could I ever leave this place. I have a little Dr. Jeykl and Mr. Hyde in me I think. But what ever happened, I worked through it and feel a ton better. I really hope this wasn’t a fluke and this continues.

December 15, 2011

It is crazy how all the days run together and so much can happen. Yesterday I had my women’s group meeting and I am somewhat back on cloud 9 with them. I am not sure if they are really that genuine or not but we planned some more projects and I see good things in our future. I really hope I am right because the chicken loss was enough almost to have me throw in the towel. So we will see. I think that they are going to attempt to make and sell the soap that I taught them to make a bit ago because they said that they want to by the peanuts, corn, and sorghum at a low price and sell at a high. Which I think is great idea and they came up with it all on their own. I think that is great but of course there is a lot of talk so we will see what their actions are. Me and Randi went in to town today and got fuel efficient stoves made which actually turned out to be a lot more expensive than I would have figured. But I am really excited to make them because I think it is actually something that could really benefit them and could help them make life a little easier. I guess we will have to see what the first one looks like and how good or bad this project goes, but at least it gives me something to look forward too.

Randi also came to my village last night which was awesome because I love seeing and hanging out with her. I have to say I am actually really blest with the region and everything that I got. I have great friends and actually a really nice view when there is rain but it can also be a nightmare and I am sure other volunteers in TZ will tell you how glad they are that they did not get my site which is partly true but at the same time you obviously make site what it is and usually everyone falls in love with their site no matter how good or bad it is.

My body is also in shabbles today. Not sure what happened but in my preparation for my dad and mine’s half marathon my body turned on me at one point and now it feels like death. Luckily I am still hanging out with Randi so I know that she will make sure I get out of bed tomorrow morning to run. Which I also have to do anyways because my dad is beating me already in miles run. How can he do that, shouldn’t I be able to run circles around him seeing that I am half his age. But apparently age has nothing to do with it, this might also be why betty and all those other people were able to pass me on the bike trip. Not sure if there is anything worse than a 70 year old grandma leaving you in the dust as you try to bike up a hill. Although I did have a ton of fun on the bike trip, it was so much fun.

Also it rained so much as so fast yesterday, that I thought for a minute I was in the middle of a snow storm and of course it made me so so happy until I realized Oh yeah I live in TZ. But it was great because now my tank is full and I have so much water. On cloud 9 again with another thing. How my mood changes so often I will never know. I will be really happy when I return home and my moods all go back into check but it is kind of nice that you can become super super happy all of a sudden but it is also horrible when it goes the other way. Luckily I think I am back in control of my feeling and everything at least for a while. I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to do still. I still have not done my research which really scares me but I think I still have plenty of time I am just worried as usual about it. Also I have to say that as ready as I am to leave already, I must not be as ready as I think because I still find myself thinking about the future here and how wonderful of a life that I have and how amazing it is to live here, so I think I am just on crack as usual and seem to not really have a firm grasp on what exactly I want. Or maybe I just want to much and it is so easy to go back home to what I know, I just do not know.

Another hole ended up in my house again today. I just cannot understand it, first off nothing in this country is built very well, my house included. Today Jessica took a pipe to it and now I have 2 holes in my house. One for if my door looks itself again and another if it rains hard. Which also means I just increased my chances significantly about sharing my house with others, hopefully dad’s best friend doesn’t make his way into my house too.

December 16,2011

Woke up this morning and went for a run with Randi. It was really fun to have someone to run. We talked as we ran which was great because I do not think that I have done that since cross country in high school is was great. Then me and Randi made food and then went around her village and hung out with some villagers. They had a big flea market today so we went and walked around a little bit but it was really intimidating with all of the people especially to when most of them have been drinking. So of course I had a lot of selective hearing which is good now but is going to be really bad when I get back home.

December 17,2011

I came back from Randi’s village today and I had to stand for 2 hours. I really thought I was going to passout. I am really glad that I did not because that would have been really embarrassing but it was crazy I was having a really hard time breathing and I am not sure why.

I then got into town and waited in true TZ fashion for Mathayo. It took him 3 hours to get to the market. Crazy how time is all over the place for people but it turned out great because we went to the carpenter and I got a frame to make fuel efficient stoves. I am really excited.

I have to say it is really crasy though. I just cannot understand my moods. I go from wanting to get out of here right this minute to wanting to stay here a while longer. This emotional roller coaster is killing me at the moment. I came back and hung out with young Jessica though and it was really really fun. I have such a good time talking with her. She understands me so well. Today we were talking about how life here is just so hard and it is hard to get a head. It just sucks. I am trying to help her out but she is right there is just a lot to do and really not that many business opportunities in the village. I do not know how I am going to help her yet but I really want to help her because she helps me every day and is like a older sister/ mother to me. I would do anything for her. I just am not sure what the best thing to do for her yet is. I told her she needs to relax and rest a little every now and then but her response is I still have this, this, and this to do. Which she is right, but it just stinks.

I watched the Family Stone last night which might explain my mood a bit. I love this movie but it makes me miss home and everyone way to much. I cannot wait until next Christmas already at Grandma’s and Uncle Jerry’s. I know it is a long ways a way but I am really excited for it already anyways.

December 20, 2011

Not really sure what is going on but I am having a hard time blogging every night. My mind is fine until I go to bed and turning on my computer is the last thing I want to do. It is really weird. Also I think has to do with the fact that I have been reading on my kindle a lot. I am so happy that I got this because I get to read so much more but at the same time I am not sure if this is such a good thing. I find myself reading more than anything else at the moment. Luckily there is not a lot to do around here because everyone is going to their farms to plant which I could go to help but that is just a really really long day and I am not really in the mood lately. I have decided that I really need to know when I am done here which I might have blogged about last time but I think this is going to put me and my mind back on track.

I spent all day yesterday making Christmas cards for all of my friends. I am really excited for the missionaries house. My friend says that it is like little America so I am really ecxcited and it will be nice to spend it with people and just hangout and play games. I really miss being home and playing games with everyone especially cards which is kind of weird I am not sure that I play that many games. Although I really do miss playing euckre and set back. But then again that just makes me also think of the cottage which I always miss.

December 20, 2011

I talked to Randi today and she told me that after the rain storm came last night 3 people were dead. Crazy. She said that they all had got swept away in the rain because it was raining so hard. But they all also had been drinking at the bar all night so that did not help them but still really scary. I honestly would never guess that could happen when there is not a flowing river involved. She also said that she cannot get out of her village at all because the roads are so bad. This makes me really happy that I am not where she is because I would be devastated if had to stay in the village for Christmas. But she wants to stay so it all

works out as it should I guess.

Also I made chocolate chip cranberry oatmeal cookies today and gingerbread cookies. They are actually all bars though because I was lazy which stinks because I really wanted to make ginger bread men but I did not want to wait for the charcoal to finally start going. Which by the way it did after 2 hours. Who has this kind of time? But I made cookies so tomorrow I am going to hand them out to the Jessicas and Talita and maybe a select other few but I am not sure who they are yet. I also made Christmas cards for them. Although I hope old J forgives me because I was suppose to go to her house almost everyday this week but did not because I was to lazy. I just do not feel like hanging out with tanzos at the moment which I know is not good but it just sounds like to much work and I would rather stay home and read my kindle. Which by the way at the moment I am hugely addicted too.

December 21, 2011

Happy first day of winter. I ran this morning and now can hardly move. I think my cross training workout yesterday really did me in. Luckily I have a few days to recover. But this also meant that I spent today lounging around the house. I think I have a problem I do not necessarily feel to depressed or anything I just cannot seem to get out and really do not feel like it to much at the moment. Most people are at their farms anyways. I don’t know.

So I had a women’s group meeting today and I could have killed all the ladies in it. They are all outraged about the chickens and what it really boils down to is that they do not want to take responsibility for the chickens. I could just scream they kept asking me more and more questions and I am pretty sure they could tell that I was frustrated. I just do not understand what they do not get. I am bringing more chickens because I still have not got them all yet and then they are going into the community. It is crazy, I never saw this as my problem. It is like they are scared to take responsibility for them which is weird because they have chickens at home but maybe it is like me and my research.

September 5, 2011

Got back to the village today with 23 KG of fish flour and some other things. I was not prepared for my house smelling like dead fish, but I think it is going to smell like that for the next month. Oh joy. I am really scared of what type of animals this is going to attracted. I have flashes of lots of stray cats attacking my house. I really hope that does not happen.

Everything else is going really good, although I am still feeling super busy and not on top of everything. It also does not help that I have been out of my village a lot for things and will continue to be for a while. It doesn’t help to that I want to do anything and everything. We are all suppose to go to Randi’s next weekend for a gathering and hopefully meet the new education volunteer in the area. She has already been here a week and I have not met her yet. She seems really nice on the phone though.

I went and saw old Jesca’s daughters today. They are so awesome they make me feel so good. Also realized that Randi’s Swahili is amazing. I do not know how she got so good but me and Jesca were talking about it and it is awesome we decided. I really want to work on my Swahili but I have so much other stuff going on that I would rather be doing as Paul says it is all about priorities and really I am able to communicate with my villagers and live so I am doing well, I just miss a lot in conversations. But it doesn’t bother me that much only when I am around other volunteers and even then not all the time. Weird how that works. But then again I also do not see me using this language in the future to much either. It is no POLISH, let’s just say that. But it is pretty awesome that I am able to live here and speak Swahili with everyone and at least have small conversations in Gogo with the grandmas.

It is not even 8 pm and I think I am going to go to bed. I am so freakin tired all the time now. It is crazy but hopefully this means that I am going to wake up early and exercise before my morning dedicated to washing clothes. Almost every piece of clothing I own is dirty.

Almost forgot, talked to the fam damily to and they said the wedding was great. This just gets me super excited for Ashleigh’s. Also taught Claire and Randi how to Polka, although not sure they were to impressed. Claire said it seemed similar to Scottish dances. I really hope she can come and visit during Pulaski day weekend sometime, I think she would just love it. But really who wouldn’t.

September 6, 2011

I think my days of sleeping in are over between Jesca coming over at the crack of dawn to talk and me becoming way to busy that I think I need to start exercising in the morning. I have I told you how much I hate to exercise in the morning, I do not mind it in the US but here it is just painful. Although I kind of think that it is painful in general here because that can make your day that much longer and boring but in all actuality I have not had a boring day in a very, very long time. So long I almost miss them. But only almost.

So I woke up today and Jesca brother came and got money from me. He was my work horse today. He carried 270Kg of chicken feed in 2 trips on his bike to my house. Can you say amazing. Not if I can just get the fish flour out of my house.

Jesca and me also went into town today to see my neighbors father. We saw him at 1 pm went and hung out with Claire and then headed to a women’s group that we were teaching to make soap to. In 2 hours my neighbors dad had died, which is really sad but he lived a good, long life. I think he was 90 yrs +/- 10. You can never no because nobody knows when they were born. So that was sad but I did also get my first glimpse of a hospital. Let’s just say I am glad I am healthy.

September 7, 2011

I have a mouse in the house. I knew I had one last week, but I was just kind of hoping that it would leave which of course it did not. And as a result it has eaten through 2 pairs of headphones. I cannot believe it, luckily I have one more pair left that I am going to guard with my life. What is even more disturbingis how close he got to me while I was sleeping without me knowing. I just do not understand why God would ever make mice. Mice and snakes are the 2 things I hate most in this world.

I had another jam pack day although this one was full of work and laundry which still is not

done yet. That is what I get for not doing laundry for like 3 weeks. I also piled up on water so hopefully I will be good for a bit.

I did Randi;s P90X workput today and feel amazing as well. It makes me miss the gym but only a little. Ya just feel so good after a nice work out.

Also I am reading the 19th wife and it is really good. And I made soda bread today but it didn’t really turn out like I wanted it to but it was still edible so I cannot complain. I am making cookies with frosting tomorrow with Jesca so that should be interesting. Hopefully it goes well.

September 8, 2011

I killed my first mouse today. And it scared me to death. I know that I do live in Africa so you think that I deal with a lot but I see fewer animals and insects here in my house than at home. I am not sure what this is saying about my house but it is the truth. Or I have just become accustomed to living with the lizards and cockroaches which I will take any day over mice.

I went to old Jesca today and we made sugar cookie sandwiches with chocolate frosting that were delicious and then we walked to the next village over and carried bundles of tree poles back for her chicken fence. It was hard work, I made her stop and rest 3 times before we made it back to her house. I then came home to haul a ton of chicken feed from young Jesca house to mine, again this was a lot of work but it needed to be done. After that I had the great idea to try and make chocolate toffee cookies with the toffee candies, think worthers originals but this did not go as planned. They do not taste bad, but they do not taste awesome either.

Besides that not to much is new, still living in fear that there is a whole herd of mice but besides that not much else. Me, Claire, and Jake are going to Randi’s site tomorrow so that should be really fun and Randi is going to teach us a new work out. Should be a great weekend before I head off to Dar and cross your fingers I get a lot of work done there because I have a lot to do.

September 16, 2011

I know I have not written in a while and it is of course because I have been so busy. I went to Randi’s village last weekend. It was a great time. All the volunteers from our region where there it was great. We pretty much just sat around and made really good food. We made pizza and vegetable burritos. It was awesome. We also walked to this really big tree which I of course tried to climb but couldn’t actually get up on to. But Randi was able to climb it. IT was crazy because you have to rock climb it the entire way up. I have now made it my goal to be able to climb it rock climber style by the time I leave. This means I need to get some arm muscles. Not sure how this is going to happen yet. But it was a great time and I got to meet Athena who is the new volunteer in our area.

Then I went to Dar for some meetings. Which is awesome because I am in Dar and I love being here. I have been hanging out with Trudy and Kenzi and attempting to get work done. We have been eating really good food. I had coffee ice cream yesterday and a steak burrito. It was AMAZING. I was planning on going to the beach but I have decided not to. I am going to try and get a bunch of work done in the next 2 days. I know this is lame but I feel like I am still in warp speed. I would really like to stay on top of things in the next few months before I go home and try and accomplish a lot. Hopefully this works. I am excited though because we are going to go to the Holiday Inn and sit at the top and have drinks. Most people will not go with me because they think it to expensive but come on people we are on vacation. So the plan is today to go and sit up there and do a bunch of work. I know LAME but it needs to get done.

I also am hoping to skype with people this week and catch up on everything. I feel like I have been out of the loop lately. I am also going to talk to my professors which I am really looking forward to because again I am freaking out a little about my research. I just am not sure if I am on the right track or really anything about it.

So after this I head back to Dodoma for some more meetings and then finally back to site. I feel like all I do these days is travel. I really just want a week to do nothing and relax not sure when this is going to happen hopefully soon. But that is not going to be the case because I cannot say no to anyone or anything hence I am always so busy but busy is always better than not so I guess I cannot really complain. I think we are also going to see the movie Contagin which I hear is suppose to be really good. I think that will be really fun.

September 21, 2011

I just went to a seminar in Dodoma with about 30 other volunteers that live somewhat around here. It is crazy because I had no idea there were this many volunteers around me. Although most of them really are not but it is at least cool to meet some new people. Claire came up with us to and I think she was just as excited to meet some new people. She leaves in about 2 weeks so it is going to interesting when she is gone. Not really sure if it will be better or worse.

It was a lot of fun though because we all hung out, ate great food, and even played euker. This especially made me miss the cottage and just playing card games. So I was thinking that I might see if Paul wants to get together once a week and play cards. Stealing this idea from my Professor but I think it could be really fun. I are amazing pizza and chicken and got to listen to everyone talk about there projects. Again most people hate this but I love hearing what other people are doing. I do understand why they do not like it but I think it is great. They are all doing so much, they give me great ideas.

I also got picked as a PCV of the week for the incoming environment volunteers. Which is really cool. This means that I will be with them for a week when they first get here, answering questions, telling them about my experiences, and teaching. I am a little scared because it is hard to meet a whole group of new people but also a little comforted in the fact that they are probably all scared as it is all completely different.

I have also decided that I HATE talking about money. I know you should never really talk about it with people but here that is really not an issue because there are no secrets as to how much everyone is getting paid because we all get paid the same and as a result people are very blunt as also really cheap. I cannot really explain it. Most people are broke (I for some reason am not) broke to the point they have maybe $10 in their account at the end of each month. Which sucks but if they want to have money they should learn to save and spend there money differently. Come on people. Really I just do not understand how they have no problem buying 2 beers and going to a movie but cannot spring for a cab home. It drives me insane. Everyone is different I understand but I am really really sick of people talking/ bitching about money.

I came back to the village today and young Jesca has started building her banda. I am so excited. It is awesome. I am also really excited because I want to start making fuel efficient stoves and some other things soon. I have a lot I want to accomplish in the next year but time is just flying by at the moment.

I also talked to my professors about my research. They are really great and help me so much. I am not at the point of the actual research yet. Still stuck in pre-test mode but it is moving along.

September 22, 2011

Today one my bosses came out to my village and saw some of my chicken project. It was really cool and awesome to have someone from PC actually see what I am doing and not just hearing about it. We also went to Paul’s village and also to another village where they might put a new volunteer this year. Which I think would be really sweet. Because the more the merrier.

We also talked about a water project. Which I am really excited about. If everything goes as planned I should be able to write a grant and have an NGO come to my village for 2 weeks and teach the village construction worker how to make a water tank.

Besides that not much else is new. I have about a million things I need to be doing and no time. I am really hoping to get some more stuff done tomorrow, hopefully I can keep up on everything. I just never feel like I am getting ahead, Things just keep pilling up.

I made Dahl today with flat bread. It was really good. I was thinking how we eat so much processed stuff in the US which is crazy because you can make so much good things from scratch that take the same amount of time. I hope when I come home I try to make more stuff from scratch but who knows if that will work or not as I do love boxed pizza.

Also killed a really scary looking millipede today that was trying to enter my house and saw my first ever scorpion. Luckily it was dead but that just makes me wonder where the other ones are lurking. Also learned about a tiger ant. They sound really sweet. They burrow in the ground and form these pits and then when insects fall into them they come out and pounce on them. And also saw some kind of Mahogany tree today that the seeds looked like beautiful pieces of chocolate.

I think the no water period has also begun. All the women stood around the water today waiting for it and it never came. Oh the joys of living in the desert on a plateau in a rain shadow. Not really sure what the government was thinking when they relocated people here. But it still is amazingly beautiful so we got that going for us.

Starting vaccinations tomorrow as well.

September 23, 2011

I spent the entire night in fear for my life as usual. Although this time it was the sound of something trying to get out of a big plastic bag. I convinced myself throughout the night that whatever was in there was going to eat me. But then I decided that it could not get out so that I would just deal with it in the morning. So in the morning I got all geared up because I could still hear it, knocked over the bag and prepared to kill whatever was trying to kill me…..a cockroach with a missing leg. I swear though you would never believe such a small thing could make so much noise.

I also found out that my neighbor ripped me off. This makes me incredibly angry and sad all at the same time because I trust him. He came and sold me and ax and apparently tripled the price from what Jesca said. I think I might actually say something to him just so he knows and maybe make him feel at least a little bad. I just need to muster up the courage. But I have at least started to think about what I might say to him.

Also finding out that I can bath with less than 2 liters of water if I do not wash my hair. I am not sure if I would call this impressive or exactly how low my standards have dropped. But

I feel clean at least and it cuts back on water.

I made Baylor’s bread today with spinach, onion, and tomatoes. Not sure what my thoughts on it are yet. I was kind of hoping it was going to taste like a tomato herb bagel but that was wrong.

September 24,2011

I have decided that I am a watch person. My watch band broke last week and my neighbor is making me in a new one but in the mean time I am finding I have no idea what time it is or date it is and it is killing me. Who knew I would ever be so attached to a watch.

I am reading a book called House Rules at the moment and it is really good. I have done hardly anything else except read the book and am hoping to finish it tomorrow.

I made banana fritters today and they were excellent although they would have been even better had I washed the pan before I used it. They had the slightest taste on rosemary and onions. Not a good combination.

I talked to Andrew today and am super excited to see his house and actually just be in Chicago I guess and of course see everyone. It is weird I have spots where I feel like PC is going to fast and that I have so much to accomplish in such a little time and then I have moments like today when I am just ready to get out. I have found though that I think about staying longer when people ie other volunteers are around me but then I go to the village and am good for a few days and then ready for some more volunteer time. What am I going to do without Claire. I think Paul is going to start getting sick of me as he is my next closest neighbor.

It is just me or are the insects and lizards getting bigger? I am not sure what they are eating but they look huge this week.

September 27, 2011

I met Randi and Claire in town for one last hurrah with just the three of us but of course it turned into 2 nights. Randi found out she had a graduation on Saturday but that is also the day of Claire’s party so we walked to my village and back yesterday so that she could get my bike and I had a meeting to go to. So yesterday I walked 12 miles and I actually did not feel to bad. And it all worked out great because then I was able to bring some furniture back today from Claire’s so finally after 1 year I have a chair to sit on instead of my bed. It is awesome. I also brought back a ton of rice and beans because tomorrow I am having a seminar for AIDS with one of the groups here. I am really nervous about it because it is pretty much all planned last minute which I do not like but it seems something that TZ are use to although I am not sure why they are. This probably has something also to do with the fact that they say if God wish I will see you tomorrow after you have just made plans to meet them tomorrow. It will drive you crazy but anyways pray the seminar is good.

I talked to Han today and we talked about my research again. I am not exactly where I want to be at the moment but I am not in a bad place either. I just am getting worried which is kind of stupid because I do have 10 months to go but I like to stay on top of things and at the moment am not. Which is weird because the reason I am not is because I have been doing actual PC work. It is so weird how I am where I am not and how 1 year ago all I could think about was leaving this place. I am not saying that I will be not be ready to go when it is time but I actually feel like I am doing something at the moment. I have so much more I want to do and am not sure if I will have the time to do it,. I keep meaning to make a calendar but of course that has not happened yet of things that I want to do before I leave. I think with Claire leaving it is going to be really hard but it is also going to be good for me. I think I will be more focused on my village and of course stay in it a lot more which will lead to me hopefully getting more done but of course only time will tell how this really works.

I also feel like I have been traveling a lot. Probably because I have between PC work and my own stuff along with just wanted to hang out with people and then being in my village. I have a full plate.

September 28, 2011

I woke up at the crack of dawn today to vaccinate chickens. Which was really not that bad but I did not know that I was doing that this morning. I had so much to do it just added to things. Today I started a seminar about HIV/AiDS with an NGO. So I spent all morning running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything ready and making sure that things were done. On top of this the facilitator was an hour late which nobody else cared about, but me I was freaking out that they had forgot although I did talk to them the day before in TZ ya just do not know.

So after a full day of seminar I came home to rest and have had a stream of people coming in ending with a little quarrel between the Jessica’s. Old thinks that young is going out of her way to make sure she does everything which I do not think is the case at all. She just happens to live really close to me and people keep electing her to be the one to help me. Not really sure what kind of terms they are on now but it ended with young J telling me she doesn’t care for old J. Something’s never change.

Big news. One of Randi’s students got picked to go to the US for 2 weeks which is really awesome because she worked really hard on the applications with the students.

I still have not accomplished as much as I wanted to today but tomorrow is another day so hopefully I actually accomplish something.

September 29, 2011

The Seminar went beautifully today and finished great. I was really proud. The people all seemed to really like it and were engaged with the discussions and asked lots of questions so that is good. I think I am going to plan on doing something with then every month. Next month I am thinking a condom demonstration and movie day. I just need to figure how to get the movie to project.

I am not sure how this has happened but I am so busy there is hardly anytime anymore. Today I was up at 6 and now it is 7 and my day is gone, I have not accomplished anything or done any exercise although I am not to sad about missing exercise obviously but I really want a routine and it just does not exist for me. Oh well.

I made really good oatmeal for dinner. I have decided vanilla is a key ingredient.

I also have been tweaking my research and finding that it is really hard to get people to answer questions differently. I need to start getting a variety of answers and things so I have been trying to ask more in-depth on going questions but the answers are still not to different. I am not sure if it is just that straight forward or if I am just that bad at asking questions.

After the seminar finished and I had finished cleaning up I spent the next hour waiting for water. Now I understand that I should not get preferentially treatment just because I am white but I also think that I should because me waiting for water just taking up a lot of my time. I understand that I do need to live like a villager but at the same time I cannot live with my life revolved around when I am going to get water if they want me to do things. I am so happy this will not be part of my life forever, I also am not sure if that makes me a bad person if I do not want to wait. I know that they are probably thinking why should she get water before everyone but at the same time they are probably also thinking that she should. Also fyi I carried 20 liters of water on my head and did not feel like I was going to die. This is a huge improvement from last week.

Tomorrow should be interesting because the Jessicas have to come together. Hopefully the argument has passed but maybe not. Not really sure what to do about this one.

One last thought, I have decided that I do not feel as good when I am blogging at the moment because the whole time I am just trying to finish so that I can watch the West Wing. That is so bad. But it is so so good.

September 30, 2011

As usual it was another big day. Today at the crack of dawn the women from Subira Group came over and we washed mtama ( I cannot think of what this is in English, sorry). This has what the big discussion between the 2 Jessicas has been about and it still continued today. In the end we washed the mtama I can see both sides. Young Jessica says that the dirt is not good for the chickens and in the book it says we need to do it a certain way but old Jessica thinks that they can just eat it as it is. I think I agree with old Jessica but I am not going to even get in the middle. I just say that I do not care either way. It was really nice though most of the women came and we got a bunch of work done. Then we talked about getting the chickens and what was left to do. Oct 13, 100 3 week old chicks will come to live in Lupeta. I am so excited.

I also worked on my research more today and asked more questions. Still not sure where I am at with all of this but at least I am trying and ya figure that the more that you try the more likely ya are to get somewhere with it all.

The bus that goes by my house everyday to Dar got in an accident and 3 people from my village died. I have never taken this bus but was planning on taking it within the next month. I think I am going to rethink this and maybe just take the Mpwapwa bus but I do not know. I think it was just an innocent accident but it still scares me a bit.

I swear the house work never ends here. As soon as I finish one things there is another thing to do. I never feel like I can just relax between house work and PC work. That is one thing that stinks about living and working in the same place. There is nowhere to escape to unless ya leave the village. That is one thing I will appreciate when I return home, boundaries I guess ya would say.

I cannot wait to have a kraki sandwich with better made chips and pickles. I think this is going to be one of my first meals when I come home. It sounds so good. This and a lot of cheese and hot sticks.

October 2, 2011

Let me just say how AWESOME it is that Michigan is winning. So wish that I could be at a game. But at least I will be able to watch a game or 2 when I am home and eat some amazing food and drink a good cold beer for once.

We had Claire’s going away party last night. It was more than I could have ever expected. Her friends from the college told her it was an engagement party for one of her friends so that was the cover story for the beginning of the night. The decorated a restaurant and everything. I felt like I was at a wedding but it was beautiful and a really good way I think for Claire to leave. I do have one thing to say maybe 2. First TZ dance kind of weird, I just do not get how the music and rhythm go together. Also weird because they dance to a lot of gospel type music. Secondly I think Ashleigh’s wedding is going to be messy with BBQ. I am not making any promises on keeping my closes clean.

Also when I came in this morning, I waited for the bus for 1 hour only to find it was full. So after chilling and planning on taking the bus I find out it is full and that I have to walk in. Not very happy about this. My first reaction was dangit I just took a shower last night and washed my hair. Only someone that had a water problem would be concerned about the amount of water that has been used.

August 4, 2011

So I am not really sure how to begin this or anything. It has been 2 weeks since I have last blogged which is a super long time for me. I am not sure how this happened either, I have just been so busy or having too much fun doing other things. I hope I can remember the last 2 weeks.

First I have to say that I went to Iringa with Paul and Tanya and met a bunch more volunteers. We all went down to Iringa which is in the south of the country to go to a theater workshop that I was not to excited about but I got to bring Jesca the younger which I thought was great because she could really benefit from the workshop if not just as a vacation. I was greatly impressed to find that I really enjoyed myself at it and learned some stuff. I also was not my lame self and went out a lot. The theater camp was a community participatory workshop focused on HIV/AIDS. There were about 40 of us there, 20 volunteers and 20 counterparts. We all broke into 3 groups:2 groups for skits and 1 dance group. I picked the dance group because I figured if I have to be on stage I mind as well be dancing. It was so much fun we learned a Maasai dance and at the end of the week preformed it for the secondary school girls. It was awesome. (I will try to put it online) It also made me really want to start to learn to dance. I am not sure if you have noticed or not but I have no rhythm in my body. But I do, do a mean chicken dance.

It was really fun because at night we got to just hang out with everyone. We all stayed in the same hotel, it kind of felt like I imagine dorm life to be if I would have ever lived in one. It was great we went out and got good food, went to the bar, and even played some cards.

On our way back from Iringa, me and Tanya met up with Claire and Randi in Dodoma and went to this awesome pizza place. I am not sure if it is because I have not had pizza in so long or what but It was amazing. We then went to the bar and hung out. It was a really nice night.

In Dodoma I bought granola and yogurt which was amazing. I so wish I had electricity so that I could have yogurt everyday. On that note I might have over did myself on yogurt and candy in Iringa. I am not sure what happened but I ate way, way too much. It was really bad.

Claire wanted Randi to teach us some exercises because we always talk about it, but never actually do anything. Well Randi woke us up at 6 am and we did some type of P90X. I could have killed Randi when she woke me up, but then after a little bit I was really happy that she did. Although now I just realize more how out of shape I am, but I guess you have to start somewhere. And this is the perfect time as I am coming home in November for Ashleigh’s wedding. I feel like this is a good goal. Look good in a dress by then and possibly not have a farmers tan.

I got back to my village on Tuesday and it was great, I went through all the motions and got everything in order and then laid down to read with my door open like normal. Well…..this turned out to be a bad idea because 2 little kids made it all the way into my house and almost all the way out without me hearing. I heard them and ran after them and caught one of them. He is about 4 and had my watch. The other one just kept running but I never thought he had anything only to discover that he had taken my phone. Out of all the things that he could have taken. Well then I went to his house but his mom did not understand what happened so I went and got Jesca. Well after talking to lots of people and many officials. I of coarse still have no phone and everyone is all over the place about it. One person suggested I offer a reward and it will come back. Which it probably would but what would stop someone from stealing something else again if they knew they could get money. Not thinking that I will ever get it back and not really sure how I feel about the entire situation. First off people got into my house with me in it without me knowing, which kind of scares me. Secondly these kids were very small, so what made them decide to steal from me? Did someone older tell them to do this and if so who? There Mom, brother? I have no idea. This also sucks because this means I really do need to keep my door shut and now no kids are allowed at my house. Also I do not care to much because it could have been worse and it was just a phone but then I think what could be next and I really just feel really violated. Also this might have been the worst week for this to happen I have so much work to do and I am trying to finish my pre-test for my research. Which is really, really stressing me out. I just do not know what to do. All of the research is on me, if anything happens and it goes wrong it will be all my fault. And I know things are going to go wrong. I guess I just do not have enough confidence in myself. But I think once I actually start it and get the ball rolling everything will be fine and I will be ready.

I forgot that one of my best friends in the ENTIRE world is getting married: Jenna. I am so happy for her you have no idea. Especially since she has been driving me crazy trying to guess when and where Josh would propose. This is awesome. This brings the count of close friends/ family who have gotten engaged while I have been in country up to I think 9 or 10. Statistics were correct when they said most people get married around 25. I think I am not going to be following the curve but ya never know I might just fall in love with a Tanzanian.

August 5, 2011

I spent the five hours talking to the village government about my stolen phone. It was insane, the entire neighborhood for the most part was there and they all had their 2 cents to throw in. It was crazy at one point they had a line up of all the kids in the neighborhood and they were asked to state their name, who I was, and where I lived. It was a long drawn out process that I am not sure my thoughts on yet. I think it was good because I did need to make a fuss about getting my phone stolen or they would have just done it again and I also wanted to scare the little kids so that they would never do something like this again. Not really sure how this worked because it turned into a parents need to return the phone or we are going to the police (which was a bluff). All I know was it was a long meeting where I understood very little. I am still hoping my phone finds its way back to me but if not I am not sad. I now just want to put this whole thing behind me and stop hearing everyone tell me how sorry they are. I also hope I do not hold a grudge against the families. I am going to try not to but I think it is going to take some time.

I cleaned my house today in preparation for 2 new volunteers to spend a week in the village with me. I am probably more excited then they are about this. But now my house is clean and I am just excited now. I also did plyometrics that Randi showed me today. They were really hard but actually kind of fun.

Also find out that I have a mentally handicapped person living be himself next door. Still not sure my thoughts on this. It kind of scares me, but he must be harmless considering how over protective the village is. Although at the moment I can hear him yelling. Really hope this stops because I cannot go to sleep with someone yelling. I just do not think I would have good dreams.

Going to old Jesca tomorrow to hangout with her family it has been way to long. How did this happen. I am super busy now all the time which is great but I feel like I have not caught my breath in a month.

Also helping so kids out with their chemistry homework. Makes me really miss chemistry but also reminds me of how much stuff I have forgotten. Chemistry is really hard when you do not remember anything. Makes me wonder how I survived High School and College let alone got a degree in Chemistry.

August 6, 2011

I went over to old Jesca when I woke up because I have said a lot in the last few weeks that I would come over and have yet to make it. So I went over and of course ended up staying the whole day, it kind of reminds me when I go to Aunt Tricia’s and then find out that I have been there for 5 hours already. Crazy how time can fly. It was as fun as always. We talked, I helped her build nesting boxes for her banda, which by the way is huge. I am going to talk a picture and attempt to put it up because it is insane how huge it is. She also went with me while I did some pre-test surveys for my research. It was really nice because by her being with me it made me actually do the surveys and not continue to put it off.

I really enjoyed helping her build the nesting boxes. I forgot how much fun it is to build things. It was great. I also learned to make cabbage and tomatoes the right way. I attempted it last night and it did not really turn out but today Jesca’s daughter showed me how to make it.

I also got some more work done for the goat seminar and am getting things ready for my guests. I do not know where all the time went today but it is already really late and I am really tired yet I am still going to watch the West Wing. I am addicted.

August 11, 2011

So I have had 2 new education volunteers at my site for the last few days. It has been very interesting. I think I am over explaining everything because I think of when I first went to shadow and how I did not know anything and I was really in a sense scared I guess. So I have been over explaining everything which I am sure is driving them nuts. I told them just to tell me to stop talking if they understand. Also I am having a hard time letting them talk for themselves around the village. It is just a natural reflex I think. I also think about how when I go with Claire and Randi I let them talk and my brain just turns off because I figure they can listen for me. Either way it has been interesting. Marshal and Rose came to visit me and in the first day I thought we were going to have some major problems this week because Marshal really needed internet for what I am still not sure. But I was explaining to him that we did not have very good internet here and that on top of that at my site there is no service let alone internet. He has survived thus far although I am not sure if he could live in my village. It was also nice having them here because I was able to show them around my village and I realized that I do know a lot of my villagers and really have no trouble interacting with them. If only to ask if they are speaking Kigogo to please explain in Swahili. It was nice. I also realized that I do have a lot of projects going on at the moment, This makes me really happy although I am so busy at the moment that I am constantly on the run. But I would rather be on the run than not. I have a little of my dad in me I think.

I also vaccinated chickens this week and added up how many I have vaccinated thus far. Wait for it…. I have vaccinated 1500 chickens within the last few months which is insane and with the money that has been made I think we will be able to buy a few piglets for my pig project. I think I am the livestock queen now. Not sure my thoughts on this yet but it is better than nothing.

Also have done my pretest this week and am going to try and look at the results in the next few days. It was weird as I was asking some of the questions I was realizing how stupid they are and not really needed. But I guess I needed to write them down first to realize that they were not needed.

August 23, 2011

It has been a huge whirlwind this entire past month. I feel like I have been in a full on sprint, but I cannot complain, it is better than the alternative. I just spent the last week in Dar es Salaam with all of the volunteers that I started my service with. It was so much fun. We all stayed together at a hotel in town. I honestly cannot remember much of the last week, but here is what I remember. First right outside the hotel, is one of the best restaurants that I have been to in TZ. It is just a hole in the wall restaurant that has plastic tables set up on the side walk. It is so good though. They sell street chicken, French fries, and all kinds of other grill type food. I am really excited to take my Dad there along with a bar that I found that has live music at night. Since this was a seminar we had to go to the office everyday and it just so happened that there are is a peacock that was given to the President of TZ that has free range of all of Dar for the most part. And for this week he decided to set up camp in at the PC office. I cannot believe how beautiful peacocks are, but they are really loud. I might put them along the lines of a loon. And you all know how much I love loons.

Claire had to come in the same week as us, me, her, and a bunch of people from VSO went to this beautiful restaurant on the water and just sat and talked all afternoon. It was super relaxing, I almost thought I was on vacation. We also got invited to out Country Directors house for a nice dinner. It was a great dinner. I also played basketball while I was there and realized how out of shape I am and now how much I suck at basketball. It also reminded me on playing basketball in high school and how much enjoyed it and also how much I practiced.

Also during the day, we listened to everyone talk about their projects. I found this super interesting, but I know it stressed a lot of people out. But I thought it was super interesting to see what everyone else was doing and draw ideas off of them. I also realized that I need to finish what projects I have at the moment before I start anything new. We also had a meeting with just the environment people and this was really nice. I have a great boss. He showed us these TED talks and I thought they were amazing. One was about it being ok to be a follower and the other one was about starting a movement. I really enjoyed them and they got me more excited to go back to site and get some projects done.

I have a goat seminar that was suppose to happen this week but of course the facilitator was not able to make it so now it is scheduled for next week. It is becoming somewhat stressful because I really want to be a professional and be taken seriously, which I actually think I am, but at the same time for me professionalism also involves doing things when I say that they are going to be and getting them done. But of course I think I am the only one that is really stressed about it, Jesca said not to worry about it, this is Africa. Which she is right, I just need to not be so uptight about things. I am also a little worried because this is my first seminar that I have ever done and I want it to be a success. I think I will be in a much better mood once I finish this seminar and will be able to relax some. But really between this seminar and my research I think I am at my limit for stress. It also doesn’t help that I turned in a pre-test survey to my professors and I do not think it was written very well and thinking back I am not sure if I actually answered my statements of hypothesis. I am not sure what has happened to my brain in the last few weeks but I would really like it to come back to me. I also really need to start exercising again because this is definitely a good way to relieve some of my stress. I am not sure if writing this all down has actually helped me or made me more stressed. But at least I am aware of what I have to do in the next few weeks. How can I already need a vacation.

August 24, 2011

Today has been pretty much going the same as all the other days expect Paul slept at my house last night and then left early this morning. I wonder what all the villagers are thinking about at the moment. I am pretty sure there is a big consensus that we must be together but maybe not. He is here again tonight because he got back late from town. So we will see what tomorrow morning brings. I taught again at the secondary school. I taught them about controlled, independent, and dependent variables and did a really cool experiment that shows an egg floating. I also found out how hard it is to teach chemistry. I am not sure if they understand. It did not help that my Swahili was extra bad today but I said we would work on it next week. I then came home and passed out, to the point where I was drooling. It has been a long week already. Then my women’s group came over and we talked chickens which is always so much fun. They are just a great group of women, I am very happy that they found me. That was about all I did today although I am in the processes of making some new calendars and attempting to put my life back in order. I am really slow in getting everything back to normal, I am a little worried that by the time I get it back to normal I will have to leave again and it will all be a mess again. But that is usually how I live my life anyways so no point in changing now.

This weekend some VSO people are suppose to come out to my village and see the work that I am doing. I am really excited about this because I love showing off my village, especially now because I feel like such a part of it. I really feel at home and comfortable here. I am super excited for my dad to see where I have been living and what I have been doing. I am really happy that Jenna and Hannah came when they did, but I really wish they could also come back because I feel like I have so much more to show them. But in all actuality they had limited time and did see all of the important things. They saw my house and met the Jescas and really that is all that I really wanted them to see.

August 26, 2011

So I went into town yesterday with a few people from one of the organizations here. We went to talk with an Tunajoli which is a USAID program. It went really well and I think they are going to come out to the village and teach a seminar about HIV/AIDS. I then got some more stuff done before calling Claire and telling her that I was in town. It is amazing how much stuff you can get done when you are by yourself. I see me actually coming into town and leaving within the same day after Claire leaves. I told Randi about this but said that this would not work for her because if she was coming into town I was also coming in to hang out with her. I am going to say it is the curse of being a twin always wanting to do things with people and never wanting to do anything alone. I blame Andrew.

So of course I ended up staying in town and we went over and met this family that lived in Mpwapwa for 15 years and were just coming back for a visit. They were a family from England and she was a doctor at the hospital for a long time. They have 3 kids that went to boarding school in England and lived in Mpwapwa until they were like 9. Crazy life. They said that when they arrived there were only 2 phones in the entire county and that they were not hooked up to water. I cannot even imagine that. Not sure if I would have survived. It was really nice to talk to them and get there perspective on things. They also said that they knew of my village and that it was really nice and we had a wonderful choir. It made be very proud especially because most of my friends in the village are in the choir. Apparently not a lot of choirs play traditional music like ours does.

I then walked back this morning and talked a little but on the phone to the new volunteer that is going to be living by us. She seems really nice. I am really excited to meet her. Also tomorrow people from VSO are coming to the village, I think they are going to think that I am crazy seeing as they live in the city and I live in the boonies. We are going to look at a few of the bandas that have been built and I am going to introduce them to the Jessica’s. Of course old Jessica was super excited about this.

August 28, 2011

It has been another interesting few days. Yesterday I started off the day in a great mood and accomplished a lot. I thought to myself, God I am so lucky to be living here. It is just great. I feel awesome and I really love my village. And then it continues to be a great day with me just doing errands. In the afternoon, VSO people came and looked at my projects which was really great because it made me feel so proud. We then all went out to dinner and then to a disco. Crazy they had a disco in Mpwapwa and it was just like a high school dance down to all the kids being drunk. Very crazy, I also saw some awesome dancing. I would love to learn to break dance. How awesome would that be.

I then woke this morning and went and met with an environmental officer that is suppose to facilitate my goat seminar. I am was in a good mood up until this point. He said weeks ago that he could help and is still going to help but I am just really over all these government officials asking for gifts and so on and so forth. He told me he needed new tires, I told him I could not help him but I would pay for his gas to the village. He was fine with that but then he went on to talk about how the government is so corrupt. I just wonder what him asking for tires was if not corruption. After that I have been in a really funky mood. I think I just have a lot on my plate and really need to get some office work done this week. Everything is still going great I am just really disorganized and a little worried about my research . I know that is will all turn out but time seems to be flying by and I am still moving so slow. I am hoping to make some more head way in the next few weeks. I am slowly feeling better but still really stressed. I think everything will be a ton better after this goat seminar is all taken care of. Cross your fingers it goes well.

Also talked to Andrew today, I am so jealous that he got LASIK. I cannot wait to get it. Also really excited to see his new apartment and very jealous of everyone that is going to Keith and Kelli’s wedding. I so wish I could be there but at least I am going to make it to Ashleigh’s. Also I heard that the Polish Festival is back and Rosa Parks and it is pretty awesome. Very excited to be able to go next year. And at present am dreaming of kielbasa, kapusta, and rye bread with lots of horseradish.

August 31, 2011

So I did not blog yesterday because I was to tired and not in the mood, I think this is a first for me although lately I have been having a hard time blogging. I feel like I am just stating facts at the moment and am not actually thinking. I think this is a result of me being so busy but I do not like it, I feel like my brain has turned off at the moment. But anyways yesterday was good. I helped plan a seminar about HIV/AIDS which I am really excited about. And then today me and Jesca went into town to try and get an idea of how much food we need to buy and when we are going to get the chickens. It all went really well. I think the chickens are going to be coming the 2nd week of October if everything goes as planned. Randi and 2 people from her village are coming tomorrow for the goat seminar so it should be good. I am a little worried about if the Bwana Shamba is going to come and teach though because Thursday is a religious holiday. I really hope he comes though because everything is set. If he doesn’t come I think I will just teach the seminar which is not what I wanted to do, but it is better than not having it. It already has been moved 3 times, I do not want to have to move it again and really I do not have the time to keep moving it. I hope it goes well though because I really want to do a seminar for cows too but I cannot do this unless things go well. Wish me LUCK.

Also ate a papaya today with bananas and granola and thought to myself how awesome it is that I am eating this food here, where this food was grown. Also papaya looks gorgeous when you cut it open.

Oh and you are going to like this one. I found out I have bed bugs. I am severly grossed out

about this but not enough to not sleep in my bed tonight. Me and Jesca bought medicine and are going to take care of it tomorrow but really how gross is that. I keep such a clean house to, I do not understand where they came from although thinking about it maybe it is from me vaccinating all of those chickens. I think I am going to have to do some research. But I just want to make this clear: I SHOWER EVERY DAY HERE, and am probably cleaner here than at home.

August 31, 2011

So Randi got here today and I actually think we might pull off the seminar. So far everything has gone as it was planned and the person who is suppose to teach said that he will here tomorrow even thought tomorrow is a holiday. It is the Muslim holiday Ida which is a 2 day celebration. Funny thing about is you do not know when it is going to be until the night before, it has something to do with the moon. I still do not get it all the way.

September 1, 2011

The first day of the seminar went surprisingly well although there were still a few bumps in the road. It also seems that tomorrow Jesca is going to explain where the money is going. Apparently they think that I am stealing it although I am not sure what I would do with the money seeing is the seminar cost more than what they paid. That is one thing that I am really happy about in the US people trust each other I think a lot more. Although because I have been here I am not as trusting and seem to think sometimes that I am getting cheating when really most people are trustworthy but it just takes that one person to make you doubt everyone. Very unfortunate.

Also yesterday old Jesca was telling us about the Germans living here and how before they left they hide all of their belongings underground in bunkers. So now people are looking for them but they think they are haunted by ghosts. It is crazy but then she was saying that you can buy this oil that makes you invisible to the ghost so that you can sneak by them and get the German artifacts. Can you believe this stuff. I had her explain it all to Randi just to make sure that I do understand it. Also realized my Swahili is terrible. Randi is awesome at it. It bothered me a little at first, but now I do not mind it. I understand my community and I am still able to do my work I just sound like an idiot when I am talking. Also weird that nobody in my village corrects me until there are other white people are so I of course look even more stupid. Oh well at least I am use to it.

September 2, 2011

We finished the goat seminar today and I really thought that I was going to feel less stressed but this is not the case. I am not sure what is going on, I think I just have too much on my plate and I am thinking about my research and wanting it to go well but not really sure if it is. Although Blair and Tom are being a ton of help, I think it is just me needing to fret about something.

Randi and Paul were a lot of help with the seminar and were really good for support. I think it went really well and they were all really excited to get the certificates that I had made which I find a little crazy because really it is just a piece of paper but they were ecstatic about them. We all took a group picture which I am going to send out to everyone that helped me fund this seminar.

After Paul, Randi, and me climbed my mountain. I cannot tell you how much I think I like hiking and then find that after I start hiking I really do not like it that much at all. Crazy how that works. I am not sure if I would really want to hike Mount Kili or not at this point. I have a thought that I might not be able to make it because then I think about when I climbed the Grand Tetons and that was really hard and I was in shape at that time. We shall see what happens. Also I really, REALLY want to go skiing. This next year could not go fast enough. I cannot wait to ski again but I am also a little scared at how rusty I will be.

I have decided 2 things that I am going to be really happy about when I get back to the US. The fact that I can go swimming whenever I want to and that I can eat cold food. Cold papaya at the moment sounds like the most amazing food in the world that an actually sauerkraut ( I think I am dreaming of Polish food because my dad was talking about the Polish festival).

September 3, 2011

Congrats to Kelli and Keith on their wedding day. I hope it went great. I came into town today with Randi. We walked in. I am so tired, really need to get some energy back. We just laid around the house today and Claire made Dalh. it was amazing I think that when I get back to the states I am going to have a wide range of food to cook. Also made cinnamon rolls today but they were not as big as your head like in the UP.

July 1, 2011

First I have to say that I really, really wish that I was at the cottage right now. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday of the entire year. I love the theme weeks and sitting by the campfire eating popcorn and roasting smoky links. Really what could be better. So I hope You are all having fun. I am excited though because I am going to go to Paul’s House Sunday with Jake. I think we might play some quiddler and throw the Frisbee. Should be pretty fun, better than being by myself.

So I went to old Jessica’s today for the building of the headstone of her father. But I was super late and everyone had left already. I really wish that I would have been there earlier, but it was actually really nice to be there later because then I did not have to worry about all these people talking to me and me not understanding them. I got to just hang out with her kids and her and I understood most of the conversation although Jessica did ask if I understood at one point and I went out on a limb and said I thought 2 of them were married. Wrong thing to say. It felt kind like when you ask if someone was pregnant, it is something better left unsaid. It is just hard because they always ask the question “Umefaham nani” and I need to stop translating it literally,.

I talked to Paul today and we talked about our projects. I have a love hate relationship with people when it comes to their projects for many reasons. First I love hearing about what everyone is doing, but then I get really nervous and scared that maybe I am not doing enough or am not dong any of it right. I just always have to remember that everyone is different and you cannot compare yourself. This is not an even playing field. Good news though is that it is super easy to get solar power at our school. The jist of it is that they install it and then the school has to pay for it. A little skewed but to our advantage.

Also I have already thought about and I think I might stay here for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I think that it would be really fun to hang out with the Jessica’s and their families. They are both such awesome people and help me out so much. They are the best thing that could have ever happened to me in the village. I feel like I am always surrounded by awesome people whether I am at home or in the village. Not sure what I did to deserve this but I like it.

Going to attempt pizza tomorrow. Should be fun and hopefully amazing.

Also not sure if anyone has see the episode of how I met your mother where Robin says But Yum and they make a drinking game out of it. I cannot stop saying but yum lately it is horrible. I cringe now after I say , like it is a bad thing. And it makes me wonder if have I been saying this all along or is this a new development.

July 2, 2011

The cockroaches are getting a LOT bigger. The ones in my bathroom are huge. A little scared to go at night now.. Not sure how they could hurt me but I am pretty sure that they could.

Had another full day today. I went to Jessica’s and learned to make cooked bananas with tomatoes and onion. It was really good and really easy. I think it is something that I could make in the states although it does not look that appetizing to eat I have to say. The bananas taste just like potatoes because they are so unripe. We then went to a neighbors for a party. It was really funny all of the women sit together and are dancing and then a few men were there. Jessica said that they all had already left to go to the bar.

I then came home to cook cookies for old Jessica and was cooking but could not figure out why nothing was working. Turns out I used corn flour instead of white flour. Big mistake. I still brought them to Jessica’s and they liked them but I thought they were horrible. Then I stayed and talked to them. It was really hard at first. I did not know what to say but it got a lot easier as the night progressed. I had a ton of fun. But it is hard because they are not used to my way of speaking and they know less English than their mom so it was very difficult.

Cooked Banana

• A ton of super unripe bananas. Ones that you cannot peel without a knife. Hard as rocks 15-20

• Tomotoes4-6

• Onions 1

• salt

• Oil

1. Peel banana and put in a pot. Fill halfway to top of bananas with water. Boil until soft like a potato

2. In a separate pan sauté onions. Then add the tomatoes and salt and cook until liquid. Then add cook bananas and coat in tomatoes. Cook 5 minutes

July 4, 2011

Happy 4th of July. So wish I was at the cottage right now. I went to Paul’s house yesterday afternoon until today. Me, Jake, and him had our own little party. It was nice we made sweet and sour pork and drank some beers. It was better than nothing. Although I had a hard time keeping up with the conversation. Paul and Jake are really intense. Always talking about TZ culture and politics it is just a lot to take sometimes but it was nice. Although at one point it really made me miss home and everyone. God I just wish I could teleport sometimes and come to the cottage. How sweet would that be. Also Congrats to BETSY. I hear you are getting married. Really I just needed to come to TZ and everyone and their mom get married I think I am up to about 8 people. That is so many. I still expect a few more too.

My friend Jake has hopes of marrying a TZ girl here. I am a little skeptical because I just do not see how it could work. She is from a small village and only speaks Swahili and he is American and let’s be honest his Swahili is not that good. But it he really wants to make it work. I think it would be interesting. I mean marriage is hard enough add into it language and 2 different cultures I think he is going to have his work cut out for him.

I have a full week of work which is really good but kind of stinks because Randi has the week off and Claire just got back and is staying at the beach. If ya did not remember I LOVE The beach. But it is good I have to go into town tomorrow and buy medicine to vaccinate all the chickens I think within the next 2 weeks I have about 500 chickens to vaccinate. It is going to be a long 2 weeks.

Paul made pancakes with oatmeal and bananas today. I think I am going to try them they sound awesome. I am also going to try granola, we will have to see how that turns out. Also I feel like all I have been doing the last few days is eating. I really think I have gained like 10 pounds. Every time I go to Jessica’s I eat, She tells me I need to eat there because otherwise I have to eat by myself at home which she doesn’t like. Which is fine but I need to stop eating so much. I need some self control which I do not have when it comes to food. I LOVE food.

My neighbor Jelly who is like 8 braided all of my hair today. She was very happy about it. It looked like an 8 year old did it. I put a hat on after she left. But she was really proud.

July 5, 2011

It was another eventful day. Paul came over and we met with the principal of the secondary school. We are trying to get solar power to the school so it is taking a little bit. But it is coming along, we could possibly have it by October or not at all. Who knows. We also asked about our teaching schedule because school starts next week. Surprise surprise we will not know until next week or the week after that. It is amazing how their school system works. It drives me crazy.

I super cleaned my house and now only have a tone of laundry to do. Housework is moving along, but really slowly. Also got a call from PC today about my grant. They said they thought it would be processed at the end of the week. Keep your fingers crossed. This grant is driving me crazy. I vaccinated more chickens today and saw some of my group members bandas. They look AMAZING. I am so proud of them.

Going to try out the GPS tomorrow. Should be fun.

July 6, 2011

I woke up super early this morning to vaccinate for my neighbor. I called her name a ton but she did not answer. I did not know what to do. Should I wake her or not so I did not and went back home to bed. I never know what to do in those instances. Do I wake them or let them sleep. I have a little of my Dad in me I think. We vaccinated about 100 chickens today and I get to wake up again tomorrow early. Yay. I love waking up in the states early, but here I think it might be one of my least favorite things. I think it has something to do with the fact that I cannot take naps here so my day is just that much longer. Not sure. Also going with old Jesca and Raheli to the subvillage (suburbs) for a visit. Should be pretty fun.

We had a meeting today and got to try the new soap and made some more soap. It was really nice, even nicer because as a group they decided on their own without me bringing it up that they are now going to contribute 1000 shs (75 cents) every month to the group to use as they see fit. I am so happy I cannot even describe this. I think the fact that they are attempting things on their own and thinking this could possibly be sign that this could last after I am gone or at least they women will benefit more while I am here. I really hope it works, I know it is still early but as of yet, these women can do no wrong in my eyes.

I made potato cheese soup today. Did not like it at all. All it really did was remind me that my mom makes the best cheese soup (well her or Arnies) and that I do not know how to make it yet. Really need to ask her how to make this although I do not see it working here. I have all these potatoes now and am not sure what to try and make. I was thinking of attempting potatoes pancakes but I am not sure yet. Again they are not going to be as good as my Dad’s or 5th street, so is their really a reason to make them at all.

Also passed a dog at night that I really thought was going to attack, luckily Talita jumped at it. This got me to thinking that I am pretty sure I would be like a deer caught in the head lights when it comes to a something attacking me. Not good, why can I not remember to just jump at it and yell. I am not very confident that I could fend off a dog. Good thing I rarely walk alone at night.

July 7, 2011

And the vaccinations continue. I have to go into town tomorrow for the day and get more medicine which is cool, but also a lot of work. I really need some exercise so I am going to bike in, in the morning charge my phone because it is dead and bike back in the afternoon.

I am now deathly afraid of dogs. I am not sure what happened but literally in the span of 24 hours all the dogs in the village went to hating me. I really think that I am going to get attacked. Luckily Talita is with me and will stop them. I do not know what happened but now all I see when I see a dog is it getting ready to attack. Probably doesn’t help that I am sure dogs can smell fear. New goal is to make it 2 years without getting attacked by a dog.

Woke up super early this morning and had 2 cups of espresso coffee which definitely helped me wake up, but also made me super antsy. I went with Raheli and old Jesca to one of the sub villages today. It was super fun but a really, really long day. It was an hour walk their and back with a side trip in between. We talked about all the volunteers on the way their and their love interests as well as me not having a husband yet. They did not seemed to worried that I am still husbandless. I think they are in the minority in the village. Most people think that I should be married and popping out kids at the moment. That sounds super scary. Definitely not ready for that yet.

Also super weird how you notice something and then it starts popping out every where or talking about something. Happened today when I asked about what a person was eating yesterday. It turns out that they dip ugali in yogurt. SO think stiff stiff corn bread in yogurt that has gone bad. I though t it sounded disgusting and then we went to the subvillage and that is what they had for lunch. I took one sip and thought I was going to die. I really thought I was going to be so so sick. But again my body has surprised me and I am totally fine. I had flashes of me having to ride a motorcycle to town to go to the hospital because I was so sick that I could not even walk. I think I have a very over active imagination.

July 8, 2011

I biked into town today to get more chicken medicine and Randi talked me into staying the night. I was actually halfway into town before I decided. I have no willpower I have decided. We had cheese so we made quesadillas which were awesome with a vegetable salad . It was amazing and then we had yogurt and popcorn for dinner. Food is good this week. Tomorrow we are having pizza and chocolate cake. Food is so amazing.

I also talked to PC and they were processing my Chicken Grant today so hopefully this means that I will have the money in my account within the next few weeks. This is so exciting and awesome after tons of frustrations and everything. Now I just have to get all the women to finish their bandas. Which I think they will be able to do soon because they just finished harvesting so they should have time. The bandas so far are amazing. Words cannot describe. I will take pictures of them and try to be better about putting pictures up. Although in all actuality I do not take to many pictures I think I need to start being more like Aunt Suzette or Aunt Tricia in that aspect of my life.

Also cleaned Claire’s house today because she is coming home tomorrow and found out that the ants had somehow gotten into my taco shells and bacon that I was saving for when she came home. Very Very disappointed I was looking so forward to a BLT and enchiladas. I guess I just was not suppose to eat bacon.

July 9, 2011

OMG. Randi made chocolate cake and pizza for a us today. I think it is in the top 5 best pizza’s of all time behind Gino’s and Fracano’s. it was so good it begs me to ask the question will I buy frozen pizza ever again or just make it from scratch. Although in reality I love frozen pizza and boxed pizza and you need time to make pizza from scratch. So the answer is probably not, but it was that amazing. And then the cake had passion fruit icing on it. Passion fruit is my favorite fruit at the moment. Really, really good dinner. And then to top it off Claire got home today, so now our Mpwapwa Posse is back. Really happy about this. It makes life so much more fun and interesting. It felt like Christmas when she opened her bag to show us all the stuff she got and told us about her vacation.

Also I talked to my friend Tanya today about Chickens. She called me to ask me some questions because she was chicken sitting (yes they do this here). She said that in 2 days she had already freaked out that she had lost one of the chickens because it had not come home at night, but they miraculously showed up the next day. And then today she found one of the chicks had fallen into the toilet and as she tried to fish it out, she flushed it down the toilet. Later the same day another one died of natural causes we think. Not really sure, how do ya know. I told her not to worry because chicks have a very high death rate but I also told her maybe she should put the third and final chick in a bucket and keep guard over it just so that one survives the night. I also told her I thought she might be off the hook for chicken sitting from now on. This all makes me a little weary for my chickens. I know statistically that there are going to be deaths within the first few weeks, but I just hope I get to give all the chickens away before they die. That way there can be the possibility that I did not kill them.

Also finished the tv show Parenthood. I really liked it.

July 10, 2011

Another great day. Of course how I can it not be when I get to hang out with Claire and Randi. Randi cooked again today. She made cornmeal pancakes which were AMAZING even better with maple syrup, bananas, and peanuts. Not sure if I said this also but we put peanuts on the pizza yesterday and it was amazing. Don’t knock it before ya try it. It was so so good. Not as good as Grant introducing us to banana peppers on pizza. Another great topping. We also had sushi because I brought seaweed back and Randi’s mom sent smoked salmon.

We walked up TIGO hill today which is really just a hill that has a radio tower on top of it but it was really really fun and some much needed exercise. It is super steep at certain points and these are the times when I was trying to explain to them about Harry Potter and Star Wars. Let’s just say they were not to impressed with me at this point in time.

Also Tanya lost her third chicken today. Yup not thinking she is going to every have to watch chickens again.

July 11, 2011

I screwed around with my GPS today. It is amazing how fast you forgot things. I used to be pretty good with a GPS and now I cannot remember a thing. I seem to have a very bad memory. Me and Claire were talking about this. I seem to have a very short term memory. I told her that I just didn’t see the need to remember bad things and then she reminded me that I do not remember hardly anything. Which is true. She usually has to tell me that we have already had this conversation before. Think I need to start doing some crossword puzzles or Sudoku and work on getting a better memory. I do not really have a problem with it but I am sure it drives others nuts. At ,least I remember the important stuff.

Also got scared to death today because I thought I heard a mouse. It was a pretty good back up into a fall with my plate of food going everywhere. Not really sure why I am so jumpy and everything when it comes to insects and mice considering that I do live in Africa but I defiantly have a problem with them here. Pretty close to my fear of snakes in the US. Although I do not have any protective rain boots here to make me feel invincible.

I watched a documentary from Fred called American Teen. It was not too bad, it follows a group of kids from Warsaw, Indiana. Allow I noticed when I saw this that he gave me a bunch of Nitro Circus which I am super excited about watching.

Talked to Andrew today. It is crazy how he can call me when he is going to bed and I am waking up. It boggles the mind. It was nice to talk to him, he is starting to look for a new apartment which is good but I really like his one now. But of course I do not live there so really it doesn’t matter. He is also going to see Bon Iver which I think is going to be a really good show. I never heard of him until I went home and Andrew and Stephi were listening to them. I love that we all listen to different types of music because it gives us all a pretty wide range of stuff to listen too. Even Eddie B is good every now and then. Also the more I think about it and talk to Andrew, the more I can see myself living in Chicago. I love visiting and the fact that you can walk everywhere and take the train. And there are tons of things to do and see and Andrew is there. Could be really fun just not exactly sure what I would do for a job yet.

Band To look up: The Beautiful South

July 13, 2011

First off the wind was horrible today. I felt like I was riding into a brick wall today. And this was with me walking half of the trip. It probably also did not help that my bag weighed like 50 pounds. Not sure how that happened. At least it was a good work out.

Today my women’s group made banana jam. It was super easy and it was awesome. I also made some bread to try it with. Things are going so good with this group I just could not be any prouder. We are making 2 types of wine next week which could either be a good or bad thing. But I think it is going to be good.

I vaccinated more chickens today and along the way we ran into a mamma and grandma fighting hardcore. It was the first fight that I have actual ever seen. I have to say I was actually a little scared because they were going all out. We were just walking by. Talita thinks that it had to do with drinking because we were by the open market. I am going to ask Jessica tomorrow.

So Jessica told me that the counterpart of the last volunteer here just ended up in jail. Weird how that works. Even weirder because he was 1 of 3 people that she vouched for in the village. Luckily I have the Jessica’s and I really do not see them every getting into trouble but again ya never know.

So I am freaking out a little bit. I was in a great mood and then I got a call from PC asking about my vacation days. I still think I am going to get to go home but it really scared me that they might say no. Although Claire did point out that they just wanted to confirm all my days. I do not know I just freak out sometimes. And of course I hate being said no to. But it was really weird I went from an AWESOME mood to completely falling apart. Claire said it wasn’t too bad at least not yet because I did not have a trembling lip. Good to know you can gauge my freak outs by my facial expressions. Still no word yet though. Really hope I get to go home, although I do not see any big reason why this should be a problem, at least in my eyes.

I was asking talita about how to say things in Kiswahili and it is was funny because I realize that I use so so many more words than I need to. Instead of just saying I need to talk to her I say tell her that I came and that I want to talk with her. Not sure why I have to make it so difficult and leave myself room for more error. Although my women’s group today told me that

language was awesome. It made me feel really good even if it still sucks tons.

July 14, 2011

Where to begin with today. Today I woke up and am trying to finish Friday Night Light but I have been too busy to do this. I went to old Jessica’s this morning and hung out with her daughters. They are really nice. Agnus really likes me, although honestly I am not sure if it is because I am white or she genuinely wants to talk to me. Unlike her sister Mama Caesar who is awesome. Just have not figures Agnus out all the way yet but either way it was really fun. I always have such a hard time leaving there both because I want to stay and I really do not know how to leave. Again today I tried to leave so I could get some work done but I ended up staying longer and ate tons. They always get me with the food and the fact that I live alone so it is much easier just to eat over there. Also saw old Jessica’s banda it is so nice. She wants me to keep my chickens there too. Also another lady who is building a banda, Nelly, is building an awesome one. I could not be more proud it is amazing.

While I was there, the goats came home. And they said that they had been eating sorghum so now they could not drink water because if they did their stomachs would explode. I have to wonder about this one. It could totally be true but it sounds more like an old wives tale to me.

Still no word from PC yet. Luckily I have been so busy I have not even worried about it. Which is really good.

Also it is so so dusty here. I can even smell the dust. Not going to enjoy these next few months as much, I think I am just going to feel super dirty. I feel like water is going to dictate my life. Should I exercise, should I go here or there. It is all going to depend on how much water it takes or uses. Wish I did not have to live like this but what ya going to do. Started running again today and it was hard. I felt so sluggish. I really hope I can stick with it because I really need the energy boast I have just been feeling BLAH lately and am always super tired. So I think the exercise will be good for me.

Today a lady asked me about make soap and learning about chickens. I told her she needed to form a group first. Not sure what I am going to do about this, I think once the women all get there chickens, tons of people are going to start to ask me for help. I do not know what to do. I know I cannot help everyone and I do not want to teach them the stuff that I already taught so not sure what is going to happen here. Although I really think that nothing will come of this because the second I ask other people to do things most of the time it does not get done and just sits there. I put the ball in their court and they do nothing with it most of the time although there are some exceptions as with my women’s group.

July 15, 2011

Did my first pre-test today. It went alright. I have a lot of stuff to tweak in the future if I am correct. I also thought that people would able to tell me the amount of sticks they used per day. I am not sure why I thought this as I do not think I would keep count either but I have to work on this and switch some questions around. It is really nerve racking starting this. I am not sure why. I just feel a little uneasy about the whole thing like I am really going to make a mess of it. Not sure how but I just want to do my best.

I went the secondary school today and am now teaching freshmen chemistry once a week. I am scared shitless. In the meeting I went back and forth from saying I would teach to not. It was really bad. I am not sure why but it really scares me to teach. But I am going to give it a try, if I do not like it, I will just stop doing it although I hate quitting things so this will be interesting. Hopefully I will love it although I am not sure how I could. You have 50-80 students staring at you for 40 minutes. Doesn’t that just sound like so much fun. then add in the fact that I speak horrible Swahili. Oh this is going to be interesting.

So at the moment I have lots to freak out about. I am sure Claire, Randi, and Tanya are going to want to kill me within the next few weeks. I think I am going to be constantly worrying about teaching chemistry, my research, and finding out if my travel has gotten approved. It should be a fun next few weeks. But I am really excited to start the research I just really do not want to screw it up. Although who am I a kidding very rarely do things go smoothly for me, so I will probably have some bumps in the road in the next few weeks. I just really hope that they are just small bumps. But if ya do not start ya will never know so at least I am starting.

July 18, 2011

Went into town yesterday and went for a hike with the gang. It was awesome we went for a 4 hour hike and then walked into town and went to the bar for some beers and food. We then went to Claire’s and ate cheesecake and watched How I Met Your Mother. This might have been one of the best days of my life although I am not sure my thoughts on hiking yet. I really thought that I enjoyed it but lately I have been hiking and just realizing how much work it is. I am really lazy these days but the hike was well worth the view.

If yesterday was the best day today was one of the worst. It started off with me looking at plane tickets again to make sure they are still about the same price. I do not want to buy my ticket until I get the ok which should be soon considering I pester them every week and it has been a month. So I thought my ticket had gone up 500 dollars and I was super pissed. I sent an email to Andrew and then I thought I am just going to check that again. Yup I typed in the destinations wrong. I felt like the biggest idiot, I got so worked up about it only to realize that it was my own mistake although I really think it has been long enough. It is weird how much you can go from hating to loving PC. I read something this morning that made me really happy and glad I was here and then got super frustrated with them all in the matter of minutes.

SO today I vaccinated more chickens and while I was doing this, I ended up running from a drunk guy (not sure why, Talita started running so I did too) and then I feel in a huge ditch and now my whole body is in pain. I am so clumsy sometimes. I think I did scare Talita though with my fall after that she shoed me every rock in stone at sight so I could miss it.

Also I had my first tick on me today. I did not know they even lived here. The little kids noticed it on my foot without them that littler critter would still be living on me.

July 19, 2011

Today was another busy day. I was awoken by my egg kids which was ok because I needed eggs and I knew Andrew was going to call, so I talked to Andrew for a bit until my phone decided it had been long enough. I really hate how bad my network is, it just makes me want to scream. I then attempted doughnuts but they turned out bad everyone else thought they were good but I thought they were horrible and I was a little scared that they might make my stomach upset because they were fried in oil so I gave them to almost everyone I saw today. Weird that I have no problem eating fried foods when I am not the one cooking but as soon as I try and cook I cannot eat it. Not really sure how this works but it need to stop.

Then I went to school with Paul and we taught or should I say he taught and I listened to English Form 1 and environment education form 2. It was uneventful although I stood for 4 hours and tried to listen really hard so inevitable I needed a nap after all of this which I took and it was wonderful. I then washed some clothes and did some more work.

I really want to be a good chemistry teacher so I am trying to make a good lesson plan for tomorrow I am trying to think of some experiments that I can do with the stuff I have in my house. A non procrastinator would have figured this stuff out in town so that they could buy the stuff that they needed. But of course that would be too easy. So this is what I am thinking: I am going to light acetone (nail polish remover on fire on the board), show them how lime corrodes metal, and let them smell some bleach. Not sure if this is cheesy or genius yet we will find out tomorrow. Also going to be interesting because I am teaching in English to kids that can hardly understand it. I think they might be on the same level as me only reversed. If Chemistry was not hard enough without a language barrier. Hope I can do a good job.

Also I got the ok today to go home. It turns out that I just need to have a minor freak attack and get mad at PC before everything turns out alright. I do not understand why things always get so crazy for me before they get better, but it seems that I need to have an almost melt down before I get answer on almost everything I do here. From trying to start projects to cooking even. This is not a good way to live. So I shall be coming home for Ashleigh’s wedding which I am really excited about, I will get to see my cousin Kendra’s twins, and hopefully my cousin Heather’s baby if things work out how they are suppose to. It should be a good trip and of course go to Robinette’s for some apple cider and the Monarch for a beer. I really miss being able to sit at a bar and enjoy myself, the atmosphere is just not the same here. Me and Randi seem to just attract crazy people. Not too enjoyable when you have a man staring at you while you are trying to enjoy yourself. This same man may or may not have his hand down his pants at the same time depending if you talk to Claire or Randi. Either way, way to awkward.

July 20, 2011

OMG, it has been so busy today. It started off this morning again with the egg girls. Which is good because I need eggs but I would so much rather be woken up by birds singing instead of a knock on the door. But it was good, it got me up. Jesca has been adamant about washing my blanket so today we washed my blankets, I kept telling her that I could do it but of course she did not believe. She was right there is no way that I could wash this blanket by myself, just helping made me tired.

I had my first chemistry class today. I actually think it went pretty well. I did not throw up before class which is good although I have to be honest I am not sure how much of it they understood. Chemistry is hard enough without trying to learn it in another language. The problem with chemistry is there are a lot of words that do not translate to Swahili and at the same time how do you teach a kid about different chemicals and lab procedures without a lab or any hands on learning. It is INSANE. I brought in some chemicals today as examples and showed them a few experiments. My favorite one was putting acetone on the chalkboard and lighting it on fire. I still remember this one from Mrs. Piers sophomore year chemistry class. It is so cool although it did not work as good today because of the light. Oh well I tried at least.

I am also getting really sick of vaccinating chickens. I know that it is a good thing but it just takes up so much of my nights. I like to relax at night but I have been out the last month and half really. It is really screwing up my exercise and chill schedule.

I made probably the worst food ever today. First I made pilau and did not cook the rice long enough and added some greens which actually made the whole mess worse. It was very sad. I then attempted no bake cookies but I wanted to ¼ the recipe and miss calculated so they taste like dark chocolate which would be good except I hate dark chocolate.

Might be going into town tomorrow now, I talked to Tanya today and she has me freaking out about getting to Iringa on Sunday. I guess Iringa bus tickets are hard to get, so we need to buy them early. SO I think I might be going tomorrow which is ok but I seriously have felt like I am in a whirl wind the last few weeks, which is really good, I just have not had a second to breath but I really cannot complain to much I guess.

I also shut my neighbors haNd in the door today. I felt super bad about this and wanted to help her, but I was at a loss for words. She ran away crying but luckily I saw her later and she was not mad at me. Jackie is like 4. Reminded me of the time my dad shut my hand in the door and then got mad at me for putting it there. Gotta love it.

Still watching the West Wing per Alex’s recommendation and it is AWESOME. I am addicted now. It makes me want to be in politics or at the very least understand politics and what it going on in our country. Sadly that is a little hard from here although Jake keeps trying to talk to me about them. He has yet to realize that I do not know or care about them.

I almost forgot the biggest news of the day, old Jesca daughter is getting married which is awesome because I think I will get to go to the wedding. I feel like part of there family. They are just the best people that anyone could ask for. But anyways, they still pay a bride price here. Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard.

June 7, 2011

So I decided to take a few days off from writing and I also went into town this last weekend to try and get my head back on straight or at least straighter. And I think it worked, at least a little. I am able to think and was actually able to finish my homework and turn it in on time. Which was nice although I also had to turn in 2 research proposals and I do not think that they were that good, but I really liked the ideas and am hoping that maybe my professors can help me sift through my thoughts and come up with something. I am hoping something with firewood that would involve surveys and GPS. We shall see what comes of this. I have also thought about my projects a little more and am working on trying to get some other things started. I am just not sure how I want to go about some things yet, I want to make sure I know my expectations before I start something.

Randi left yesterday and I was planning on that too, until after I sat on the bus for 1.5 hours, I realized I left my keys at Claires. So I walked back to Claires which really sucked because I had my bag that the airport lost and it was really heavy. And I did not want to wait for the bus today, so I walked back this morning with my small backpack. I am glad I did too, because it is so nice out right now. A little hot but nothing horrible. I can actually walk in the middle of the day which I love so much.

Claire called me a few days ago and told me that her friend thought that she had been bewitched because she kept waking up in the night to sounds, but her friend did not hear anything thus her friend decided that she had a curse on her. She called me to ask my thoughts and of course I told her that I think she is ok. But then she called me and told me that she had got stung by a tons of jellyfish and she now looks like she has chicken pox and welts all over her body. I just said that sucks and hope it goes away before she goes home next week. Well it turns out that she has scabies or some other parasite. Very happy that I am not her at the moment. Also 2 days ago I woke up at 3:20 am because the whole house and everything was shaking. I was very groggy and unsure if I had dreamed this or if this was actually happening so I asked Randi the next day. She said that I was not crazy and that she felt it too. Turns out there was an earthquake or something like that in town. Crazy. If things keep happening like this, I might actually believe that Claire has a curse on her and it is not just a string of bad luck.

Also made Spanish rice today. It is definitely not the same without bread and butter and meat. But it was something different. I think I am going to try and make a list of food that I like and can make really easy here so that I can just look at that instead of having to remember what I have made in the past and what is good. Also I think I might attempt sourdough bread this week, still not sure yet but thinking more seriously about it now. (it is a commitment because you have to let the sugar and yeast sit for a few days)

I also think that I am going to do some more exploring this week in the mountains. Kind of excited but I know this is crazy, but sometimes when I go out in the mountains by myself I have this huge fear that a lion or bear is going to jump out of nowhere. This is so stupid and yet I cannot stop myself from thinking like this.

Also I have decided the joke about Grandpa talking your ear off, might be the best joke ever. And I never get tired of hearing it. It always makes me laugh.

June 8, 2011

So today seemed like the longest day ever, I am not sure why either because I did a ton, but I still had a ton of downtime. I harvested all of my sunflowers today, so now they are all sitting on the floor of my house drying out. I think I am going to take them into town and get them pressed so that I have some sunflower oil to cook with. I did not know this, but sunflower oil is really good to cook with. Paul also came over and we talked about possibly teaching a environmental class together at the secondary school. We also talked about getting solar power for the secondary school. He thinks it is do able but I am skeptical. The school has to come up with 800,000 shs which is 10% of the cost. (500 dollars) I am not sure if this is possible considering he couldn’t even get his villagers to pitch in together and buy some soccer balls and our water system is definite need of repair, but I am going to try and help and see where it gets us. I also made white bread and banana bread today on my charcoal stove. They both turned out wonderful. I still have so much more stuff to do it is unreal. I am trying to plan out my next few months which is proving to be very hard because PC is not always on top of things. And I am hearing a lot of different things at the moment about seminars but hopefully it all gets worked out soon. I have also decided that I might be a little OCD when it comes to making lists and planning things. I need to know what is going to happen and when I am not good with being left in the dark.

Also think that I am going to start training for a half marathon. Not sure if I will actually run it, but I really like running and following a training program so we shall see how it goes.

I also got to climb on top of the water tank today it was awesome. It has a really nice view. Might make this a new spot to sit.

June 9, 2011

First I found out today that if the radio is really loud at someone’s house that could mean that they are having sex or it could just mean that they like the radio loud. I find no comfort in this, now I am just going to confused and wondering which of the two is really going on. I much rather would have preferred not to know this little tid bit because now I will always be wondering.

Also saw a lady today with only 1 leg and she had a fake leg made out of wood. It was pretty impressive. I saw it in the next village over, I was there with Jessica giving out vitamins to the little kids. I also found out today that they are building a clinic in the next village and have somewhat started already. This is all news to me because when I last asked it was suppose to be built behind the school. But it looks like they might actually start working soon which would be awesome. Also I on that note I was talking to Randi and it seems like a lot is happening within our villages that we are not a part of. She had some good advice in saying that theses other projects included tons of people, resources, and money and we cannot really compare ourselves to them. She is very wise.

Also I am turning into a villager, I saw 2 white people today and all I could think was white person and what the hell are they doing here. Nobody ever comes to Mpwapwa. There is literally nothing here. I am also finding out that other volunteers have a lot more fun on the weekends and get to go water skiing, etc. because they have ex pats living in their banking town. We have none. Although we do have Claire so it could be worse and I love hanging out with Claire so I guess I cannot complain.

Making Sourdough bread tomorrow and it has to sit for 2 days first, My kitchen does not smell good at the moment.

‘June 10, 2011

I had a chicken meeting today and I think that it went really well as usual. We are also going to learn how to make soap and lotion using leaves of the neem and mlonge tree next week. I have never made them before so we shall see how they go, if they go good, maybe we can find a market for them. But I think in general it is just going to be something fun for us to do.

I am kind of going crazy a little but, I think this has more to do with the fact that I am just unsure of things that at the moment,. I really want to have a plan but I do not so I am hoping that this weekend I can figure out a plan for the next few months and that will help me feel a little better.

Also made sourdough bread today. Totally not worth it. It did not turn out good at all, but of course I am still going to eat it. I might even make French toast tomorrow. I am going to climb my little mountain in back of my house tomorrow and try to get some exercise and clear my head. I am really excited about it, I hope it goes as well as I hope.

Also a grandpa came to talk to me today because he said that he had a problem. This worried me a little because I did not know exactly what he wanted and I was thinking that it was probably money and he probably wanted a lot. He came over today and did want money but he only wanted 1,000 shs which is like 75 cents for a funeral. I gladly handed it to him. I think this is the first time that I have given out money to someone. I have decided that I will give a little if it is related to church, funerals, or sick people. If it is what I consider charity I have no problem, it is when they start asking for money to build a house or get more animals that I have a problem. Especially when I see these same people day in and day out at the bar.

June 11, 2011

I woke up and climbed my little mountain and checked my email this morning which was both awesome and not. First my computer was acting weird so that kind of scared me, but then it went back to being normal. Secondly I checked my email and was both happy and sad about this. I think I am starting to get somewhere with my research proposal if only a subject which is good. But I also got an email saying that they had not received my second grant proposal which sucks because I have been trying to get a hold of the guy for the last 2 weeks to make sure that he got it. Not cool. I am 99% sure that I sent it to him, but I am going to go into town Monday and resend it to him along with everything else. Hopefully he gets all of it. It is also really frustrating because while I do have internet in town I am not able to send pictures and can only send small attachments. Kind of nerve racking sometimes.

After I climbed the mountain I came back and rested which was nice, but I miss being at home a lot still. Even more when I realize how small my world is at the moment. I miss being able to go to other cities and back in the same day, or spending a few hours shopping. It just does not work like that over here.

When I got back Jessica said that we have a meeting Monday with the village government. I think they are going to ask me to help them build their clinic which is awesome, but last time they asked me to help them , all I asked for first was a letter saying what they wanted and how they were also going to help. Which I never received so I hope this meeting goes better and I actually see a letter this time.

Claire had been gone for 2 weeks now and it kind of sucks. I am not sure what life will be like when see is gone for good. I love how easy it was to go in and see her and hang out now if I want to go and see someone I really have to plan. Like next week I think I am going to go to Randi’s but there is only 1 bus a day there and back. So I have to be in town by the afternoon to get there, but then to get back I have to leave at the crack of dawn. But at least I get to visit someone and add some excitement to my life. I also signed up for theater camp (which I am not necessarily a huge fan of but I think my village could really benefit so I am doing it. We are going to go down to Iringa for a week. I am really excited. I think it will be tons of fun and I will get to hang out with people again. Which I LOVE.

June 12, 2011

I got up the earliest I have in a while and swept the dirt in my yard. Yes I swept dirt. I still think this is pointless but everyone loves when I do it, so I try and do it every now and then. The neighbor kids helps too so I cannot really complain. Things are starting to get busy again between projects and just hanging out with people which is good. Today I tried honey beer which I actually really liked and I think I am going to teach some of the women how to make a few different kinds of wine/ beer to add to their businesses. Also I talked to this grandma who was super drunk and when I got up to leave, my friend asked me why I was running away. I am not to good at concealing when I am uncomfortable.

I also had a lot of people come and ask me about chicken vaccinations which is awesome because I can start this up again and it will help keep more chickens alive.

Besides that, not much is new. Although the last 2 times I have talked to Andrew he has had awesome weekends and I have been really jealous, but everything is going pretty well. Every day is getting better. I just need to remember why I am here and all that I have accomplished, but some day I just wish I had a car so I could go and see my friends and do things quickly. I am not one for this slow paced life. Also Uncle Mike’s hot wings would be amazing at the moment.

June 13, 2011

As usual, I waited to go to a meeting this morning and of course it was cancelled. It just sucks, I never know if I should put other things on hold for these meetings or just continue with my life, but then I think what if one of these meetings is really, really important. But none of them ever happen or are really that important so I guess I should stop worrying.

I walked into town today to take care of my grant, I hope and get some more work done. So far it has been really productive, I think a lot of this has to do with there is no one in town to hang out with so really what else am I going to do but work.

June 14, 2011

So I spent yesterday and the beginning of today in town working on my homework and trying to get my grant thing figured out. I think it is all figured out now, but I am not really sure. I will not know for about a week I think if they have everything and then who knows how long before I get it approved or have to revise it. Grant writing is a hard, long process. I do not want to grow up to write grants and ask people for money.

I am revitalized and ready to start more projects and get things going in village which actually brings me to… I have officially been in Peace Corps for 1 year. I cannot believe it. This is definitely the hardest thing that I have ever done. I know their slogan is the hardest job that you will ever love or something to that effect, and I am not sure what my thoughts on this are yet. It also doesn’t help that I am the kind of person that forgets about all of the bad stuff after it happens and only remembers the good stuff. Both a good and bad thing I have decided. But anyways tomorrow me and a few women from my chicken group are going to attempt to make soap with the seed of a tree. I am very optimistic about it but also scared because we are going to be using a really strong chemical. I really hope things go smoothly tomorrow. I also have meeting with the headmaster of the secondary school to see about teaching and getting solar power for the secondary school.

I wrote my mom and email about possibly coming home in November for a week for Ashleigh’s wedding and to see everyone. I am not sure at the moment if this is a good or bad thing. On one hand I think it would be good because it would give me something to look forward to and I think it would help me stay focused on my projects but at the same time I am not sure. Most people do not go home at all, a few go home once and even fewer go home twice. So I really do not know. I think this would be great for my confidence and help me get things started knowing I have something to look forward to but then I do not know. I think I could get by without it, I just think it would be a lot easier this way. So this has yet to be decided. I was thinking to that the money that I was going to use to climb Kili could just be use for my plane ticket instead because they are both comparable to each other. And I think in the long run I would rather go home and see everyone instead of climb Mount Kili. But I am not sure I need to think about this a little and talk to some people about this and see what they think. This could be a really good idea, or this could be a really bad idea. Not sure which one yet.

June 15, 2011

This has been one of the most productive days of my life. It almost feels like I am back at home, I was so busy and did so much. I woke up this morning and cleaned my house because I had a meeting at my house today and then I did some work while I waited for a dad to come and talk to me about his albino son, but as usual he did not come. Side note I am not sure if albinos are that much more common here or if they just stick out more here, but I have seen more than a few albinos. Then Paul came and we went and talked to the headmaster of the secondary school about teaching at the school and figuring a way to get solar power for the school. Paul found an NGO (non-governmental organization) that will cover 90% of the cost, so we put it in the schools hands. I hope they can come up with the money because I think that would be awesome. I also think I might be teaching science or math which is really cool because those are my favorite subjects, but at the same time I am scared because I have horrible language skills even though they are suppose to be talking only English at the secondary school hardly anyone can speak or understand it even some of the teachers do not know that much English. This paired with the fact that I have never taught before. A little scary. I do not want to screw up and teach them stuff wrong. But Claire thinks because this is a concern that I might be an even better teacher, I am skeptical but I am going to give it a try. Then I had a meeting with my chicken group although now we have branched out and are learning to make soap and a few other things. Right now, we are just learning things for fun and to see if things turn out. In the future we might sell the stuff but right now we are just learning different things. We are planning on learning to make soap, lotion, candles, wine, jam, bread, cookies, and cakes. If you can think of anything else that would be fun easy and useful, please let me know. I am going to compile a book for them in Swahili like a cookbook. I think I am also going to teach them to make Spanish rice too.

So I am still unsure about going home or staying, I was thinking today that that would be awesome and Paul says that you should do what you need to do. Randi was on the other end and said she thought it might be a waste of money, which I also totally understand. I just do not know. I also know that I should not rely on other people to make my decisions, but as you know I usually use others. But I am also thinking that I need to do what I need to do and the money does not matter to me although it is a lot I have no problem spending money to come home and see all of you (sorry Jenna, you are going to have to wait one more year) but at the same time I cannot spend $3.00 on powdered milk. My priorities are slightly skewed. So after this whole thing, I think that I might actually come home but of course I think this will probably change 15 times in the next week.

This weekend I was going to go to Randi’s but I have too much to do and am going to stay in the village and get some things done. There are some people coming from different parts of the region to sing also so I am really excited to see them. I think I am going to take some pictures and maybe some movies. Tanzanian’s have the most beautiful voices EVER.

June 16, 2011

I have a few different thoughts today. But first I have to tell you that I ate almost a full bag of mini M&m’s today and am very much regretting that at the moment. They are just so good, the smaller they are, the better they taste. I really wish I had some self control. Also I have a tree right outside my house that has the equivalent to apples on the branches and at anytime throughout the day and night they like to fall and scare the living daylights out of me. Just think about a nice quite night and then bombs exploding this is what it sounds and feels like. Also I have seen 2 snakes in the last 2 days. This does not make me happy as you well know that I am deathly afraid of them. Me and Paul we talking about them and he said that he thought people did not like them because they moved without appendages. And I have to agree with him. But really everything about them makes me cringe. And finally a few women were looking through me magazines and there was an ad for hot dogs and the hot dogs had ketchup on them. They thought the ketchup was a snake. Crazy how do you explain a food and condiment that do not exist here.

I made more soap today with Jessica and then I also made a cake with old Jessica. It was a really good day. Tomorrow I have a chicken meeting and then I need to get a lot of work done in the next 2 days. I have a lot of translating ahead as well as working on my proposal. I really hope to accomplish a lot. I am also thinking about buying a table. Very exciting. I might get furniture after all.

June 17, 2011

Had a pretty slow, uneventful day. It was nice though. I worked on a bunch of translations in the morning and then we had a chicken meeting in the afternoon. I also tried making a tomato sauce but I really wanted it with breadsticks from Pizza Hut and of course this did not happen so I have to say I was not that satisfied with dinner.

Tomorrow I was going to go to Randi’s house but now I am going to stay here and get some more work done and then hopefully go to church and listen to the choir. I am not sure what the occasion is but they have been practicing all week so I have been going to bed each night listening to drums and people sings.

Also talked to Hannah last night. She sounds like she is doing really good. And as usual I am still jealous I think she might be living the best life at the moment. I also have decided that I am either going to live super close to a lake or on a lake when I get older. Little whitefish or Lake Michigan would be the best I think.

June 18, 2011

I spent the entire morning finishing Empire Falls. I am not sure what my thoughts on it are yet. I really expected a better ending. And now thinking about it, nothing that exciting happened in the book. Why do I always have to finish things that I know I am not going to like in the end. I have wasted a lot of time on bad books and bad movies for that matter. The last week I have been making honey peanut butter banana pancake sandwiches. They have been awesome with a cup of tea because it has been so cold lately. I am loving the weather right now. It feels like fall.

I stayed in the village today and went to church with Jesca. We went and listened to a choir from out of town, it was really nice except that Jessica made me dance with her in front of the church. I hate dancing in front of people in the USA my hatred/ self-consciousness is 10 fold here in front of Africans but they all loved it. I am not sure why but they do. They also loved showing off that I knew Kigogo. It was nice but I still hate to dance. The worst was a guy wanted to take my picture and I said no but he didn’t stop so Jessica said that he could take a picture of her, me, the choir, and the pries. Great so I took a picture in front of the entire congregation. Definitely felt like an outcast a little bit today. I know that it is all in good fun but I really like being the one in the corner that no one notices but I know that is impossible here. So I guess I have a lot more dancing in my future.

I also watched Jessica wash clothes today.OMG I think there might be more soap than cotton in all of her clothes. I have to say though she always looks amazing so maybe that is her secret.

I am going to church tomorrow morning again and then I am hoping to go into town to check my email and recharge my computer, but I am not sure If there is going to be time. I might have to wait a little longer.

Also not sure if I told you about my teaspoon that went missing yesterday. I knew I washed it but the kids were putting all the dishes away and it went missing. I searched everywhere and then I just asked if anyone has seen it because I seemed to have miss placed it. They all said no of course. But I figured it was worth a try and then today when I was sweeping I found it under my front door. I think it was returned sometime within the night. What a weird thing to steal. I do have to say that I was heartbroken for a minute though because I really liked that spoon to use for my coffee. I know stupid but it for some reason I really like using it. I think I might be getting weirder after that last statement.

Bike trip starts today. I hope they all have fun. I am really hoping that one of these years I get to do it again. I had so much fun last time I did it with everyone. Something about getting up super early is really fun to.

June 19, 2011

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!! I LOVE YOU DAD.

So think of the longest you have ever sat in church. I am betting Easter Vigil comes to mind. I have now surpassed this I am sure. I sat in church today for 5 ½ hours listening to people singing and speaking Swahili as well as sitting in a chair with no back the entire time. Words cannot describe how bad my back hurts or my head from trying to figure out a little bit of what was going on again. I again was asked to take a picture with people. I am like an attraction at the zoo. It is ridiculous, especially because I think about myself and pictures and how I only want people I know and matter and in pictures. Here it is not the case, they want the white girl in any picture they can. The reasons, I am not sure.

Tomorrow I am going into town now and going to see Jesca’s daughter and get some more work done. It is insane, there is always work to be done. And of COURSE I do need to charge my computer and phone. I am not sure that I could live without blogging every night in the village. I know this is bad, but It is part of my routine and I really like it.

June 20, 2011

It has been another crazy day. I am not sure where the day goes or what I am doing with my time. Today I woke up super early (at least for me) and got on the bus to come into town. I went with old Jessica to see her daughter and meet the lady she lives with. I am not sure my thoughts yet. She was nice but it was a little weird, although it is always a little weird when I meet new people so maybe that was it. Also I know my Swahili sucks but it gets even worse if that is possible when I am talking ot new people so I made a complete idiot out of myself. Oh well.

I then went to the post office and thought I was getting my GPS unit for school but it turned out to be my malaria medication. That was a little disappointing but of course still needed.

So I did not get a lot of productive stuff done today but at least I did some stuff and I am super tired now. I also talked to PC and they said that my grant is getting reviewed again so hopefully everything works out this time. Cross your fingers.

June 21, 2011

Life is just AWESOME at the moment. It is weird, things are just falling into place and I am so happy about this. Blair was right when he said that things start really moving and getting places after a year. I am so happy I finally feel like I am doing something and not bored all the time. Actually the last week has been crazy, I have been so busy. I hope it stays like this.

Talita and me started vaccinating chickens today. It is amazing how something so easy can

help people so much and yet they have not themselves figured out that they could buy it together. Oh well I think it is going to be a good money maker for my chicken group and then for Talita after I am gone.

I cleaned my whole house today while all the children just kept saying “you know how to wash the floors” and asking for all kinds of things. I really do love them but as with anyone I could have killed them today. I added a spice rack to my kitchen, it is awesome. It makes me so happy . Again amazing how even the smallest things can make your day. Hoping for a table next week and life is going to be sweet.

Jessica and I are going to Dodoma next week to talk to Peace Corps. It should be fun, we are staying in a nicer hotel than I usually stay in and rumor has it that it might have a pool. This would be the greatest thing ever, except that it is actually kind of chilly at the moment.

Also my friends brother might come and stay with me this weekend. I really hope he does because I love visitors. Keep your fingers crossed.

June 22, 2011

Today was another full day full of interesting conversation and lots of work and yet I still had time to take a nap. I woke up of course to the greeting of Jesca through the window on the way to the farm. That women is a super hero she has been at the farm from morning until night the last few days. I would be dead if I did that. I then went and did some vaccinations this morning, took a nap, and made fried rice. The fried rice was good, but I think it would have been better with an egg. I might attempt it tomorrow with an egg, not sure yet. Then the women’s group came over and we made lotion. It was super easy and I think they liked it. I gave them each some and told them to try it for the next few weeks. If they really like it and think people will buy it, we will try and sell it. Jesca is really good with this, she knows what to say to the women and thinks big picture. It is awesome. While we waited for everyone to get their old Jesca was explaining to me how one of the neighbor boys who is 10 got circumcised today. It was a very interesting conversation to say the least. I think I understood most of it. They said the they do not use medicine and the boy will sit for about the next 3-4 weeks until he has healed. It sounds horrible painfully to me. It was funny when they asked about back at home. I of course had little to say on the subject but I told them what I knew. It was even funnier to see/ hear them try to explain how they did it with actions. I was horribly embarrassed and interested all at the same time.

Then me and Talita went to one of the sub villages to vaccinate chickens, I thought it would take 15-20 minutes to get there. WRONG. It took 40 one way. These people lived way out in the bush. I thought I lived in the middle of nowhere these people live in the middle of nowhere. They have no neighbors in site. Seems like you would just make more work for yourselves living so far away from everything, even water is a challenge. Again grateful that I live in the middle of the village. Also I might have been a little jumpy. It was pitch black out and who knows what is crawling/ walking around. It was not as bad as the frogs in Hawaii but it might have been close.

Also met an albino baby today. She was very cute and not at all scared of me which was really nice. Her mom came to ask me about how to take care of her because her skin is like mine. I told her what I do and said that she wanted to make sure that she used lotions of sunscreen but I also said I did not know that much about it, but I would ask some people and try and get some information.

Also I was thinking today how trust worthy we are in the US. It is weird because you would not think we are. This coming from a girl that has a chain link on the front door. But it is weird because we leave things in the front yard and backyard and most of the times it is still there. That is not the case here. I am not exactly sure why but if I left things out in the year 9 out of 10 times it would be gone within the hour. This led me to think about camping. I am not sure a Tanzania first could fathom why we would want to do something like this and then to leave all our stuff in a tent that is not locked. I think they would think this is crazy. Which it kind of is, but I like that you do not have to worry too much when you are camping and I think for the most part people are trustworthy.

June 23, 2011

And the vaccinations continue. It is nice every day I have more vaccinations to give, but I do wish that they could be during the daytime and not at night. I was kind of bored today. Yes, I know there is tons of stuff that I could of done, but I was lazy and it was just be awesome if I could do them during the day because I love the nights here. They are so quiet and peaceful.

I worked on my proposal today and tomorrow I either have to climb the mountain and send it to my professors or go into town. I am not sure what yet because I do have some things to do in town, but I do not want to go into town and find out the office that I need to go to is closed. I have been calling all week to no avail so I might bite the bullet and go in or I might not. I think I will decide tomorrow.

Jessica again spent the entire day at the farm. I have no idea how she and her mom do it.

I am reading The Brothers Karamazova at the moment. I am still in the beginning of it, but I am not sure my thoughts yet. I really liked Crime and Punishment so I think I am going to end up liking this book, but so far it has been kind of boring and it is a huge book so hopefully it gets better. The faster the better.

June 24, 2011

Vaccinated more today. I love it. It actually makes me feel like I am doing something. I am also hoping that since Talita comes with me she will take it over and can actually make some money off of it. We shall see.

I made an orange chocolate cake today without eggs or butter. It was awesome and I was so happy that it did not take eggs.

As usual, the children are killing me. There are these new ones that have been coming to my house and they try and walk into my house. I am not happy about it and I tell them to leave which they do but then they come back. They are super annoying. I really do not like them. Maybe they will get the hint.

Randi went with her friend Patrick to the train station today. They left at night and were going to walk and then sleep at the train station. I told her that she better call me when she returns home. I know that she will be alright but it is so freakin dark out and anything can happen. Especially when you are a young white girl. But she was excited to go so hopefully she has a good time.

June 25, 2011

I love waking up in the village. It is so nice and peaceful until the children come and will not leave. It drive me insane and I know the neighbors hear me. But they do not do anything. I tell the kids to go because I am trying to read and work but this doesn’t do anything. I am back to shutting my door which just drives me insane because then I feel caged in. I am so ready for Dodoma on Tuesday you have no idea. Jesca and me are walking in in the morning and then taking the bus. It is going to be a long day.

I went and got my tire of my bike fixed today. It took them 2 hours to fix it. This makes me a little weary to ride it but I am going to and hope for the best, II think it might be time for new tires.

Talked to the family today at the cottage. They seem to be doing good and again make me jealous that I am not at the cottage but life is not to bad Here as along as you stay busy.

June 26, 2011

Today had a little bit of everything in it. It started out with me biking into town and back to buy bus tickets for me and Jesca. I found out just how out of shape I am and now I have bikers butt because it has been so long since I road. Not cool. But it was nice to get some exercise and make sure that I got a seat on the bus and did not have to stand. I hate standing.

Then I came back and went to old Jesca’s and we had chai and chit chatted. She just went to a chicken seminar so she talked a lot about chickens. And all her daughters are coming in in the next few days so she is super excited. I am a little excited to, because I have heard so much about them.

I almost forgot, I opened the door to my bedroom and a lizard fell from the ceiling. Got to love it. Now I have to worry about lizards attacking me in the middle of the night. As if I already don’t have enough critters to worry about at night.

I went to the open market and bought these fried bean flour donuts. ( I know they do not sound good but they are awesome) They really make my day although of course they are about the worst thing that you could ever eat. Then again nothing in TZ is really that good for you unless you are eating fruit.

Also young Jesca came over to greet me and then this guy was standing outside my door, so we told him to come in. And then I greeted him but he did not respond. It took a few minutes but we figured out he was mentally retarded. At this point Jesca took me by the hand and led me out of my own house. And then we got the neighbors to go find his brother because he was not responding to anyone. It was really weird. Jesca said something about the fact that he could hurt us although I am not sure this is necessarily true. It seems that everyone was a little afraid of him but I am not sure if he has actually done something to make them scared or if this is just the general consensus with mentally retarded people. I just thought he did not hear me greet him. Good thing Jesca was there because I am not sure what I would have done. I guess I would have told one of the children to go get someone because I did not know what to do.

Again me and Talita vaccinated chickens. I really like that we do this, but it is very tiring and kind of stinks because we have to do it at night when the chickens all return home. It makes for some late nights.

Also talked to a teacher at the secondary school today, he did not think that there any farms in the US or dirt roads or people that lived in the middle of nowhere. I tried to explain to him that he was wrong but as you all know I am not the best person to explain things.

Tomorrow is another full day of work. Hope to accomplish a lot, wish me luck.

June 27, 2011

We vaccinated about 300 chickens in the last week, which is awesome. And I definitely could not have done it without Talita helping me. But I have to say some people just are not happy about it, they say that we are coming to late. People it is only 7:45 pm come on give me a break and if you would keep your chickens locked up I could come in the day but ya don’t.

Worked on my chicken grant today because they think that I should ask for me money which I am fine with, the women will be super excited. Besides that not much else going on today talked with a bunch of people and planned dates to have the goat and cow seminar. Pretty excited about this, hope it all goes as planned.

Tomorrow heading out to Dodoma with Jesca bright and early. We are walking in on foot to catch the 9:30 am bus. I am going to sleep like a baby on that bus.

June 30, 2011

It has been a really fast and crazy few days. Tuesday morning me and Jesca woke up super early and walked into town to catch the bus to Dodoma. It was a really nice walk but the bus ride was long and horrible more so than usual. We then got to Dodoma and ran some errands and then hung out with other PC people. It was really fun. PC put us up in a really nice hotel which I was ecstatic about until I found out the hot water did not work and there was really nothing on tv and no 3G in my room. Turns out my $5 a night hotel is much better. Oh well, you live and you learn. Wednesday we had a meeting with a Programmer from Madagascar. Which was really nice we got to voice our concerns about our program and figure out how to make it better. Me and Randi then ran some more errands and then we all went out to this Italian Restaurant for dinner it was really, really good. After that me and Randi sat in the bar and talked to the family on skype. IT was really nice.

Today we got a ride back to site in a PC car which was awesome 2 hours vs 4 + by bus and nobody pushing me. I bought Pringles and cheese in Dodoma so now I am eating a grilled cheese and eating Pringles. It is pretty sweet.

I also got to talk to my professors which was really nice. I think I am still headed in the right direction and am going to work on surveys and gathering information on how to define the different social classes that exist within the community. Looking forward to it, I also have a meeting with the forestry office tomorrow so hopefully they are helpful. I also talked to my boss in PC which was nice after it I felt like I was doing something . It was nice.

Also talked to the programmer from Madagascar and we were talking about the Master’s International Program that I am in. Because I asked him about a friend that went there to serve. It was weird he said that very few people overseas know about the program and very rarely know when they are getting Master’s student mixed in with everyone else. I thought this was kind of weird but explains some things about PC. You would think that they would be somewhat more joined together as they are a joint program but it seems like they are pretty separate still.

I lost my voice this week and sound exactly like Hannah on one of her all nighters. It is not pretty when I talk, good thing they recorded all of our conversations yesterday. So I am sick and Randi is to. Everyone thinks she has malaria. We are skeptical considering there are like no mosquitoes in our village. We think it is just the flu.

I turned in a revised copy of my grant again today. I really hope this one is better. Apparently grants are not my strong suit. It is really nerve racking to be wanting to ask for money to help the community but at the same time not because of all the work and time on my part. But really more because of the frustration. I feel like I am back in Organic Chemistry Lab trying to make crystals. It is trial and error all over again. AAHHH. Also I have used to Chemistry analogies for life this week. I am pretty sure Tanya thinks that I am crazy now. Also it is a little annoying, the guy in charge of grants, cannot seem to remember my name when I call him. I have talked to him at least a dozen times in the last month. Come on man is it that hard. I always get “who am I talking to?’

I bought a new blanket today. Super excited, it is a Masi wrap. Think of the tribal people that you think of when you think of Africa. That is what I bought. I also bought a soccer jersey and coffee. It was a big spending week. Headed to Paul’s for the 4th and then vaccinating more chickens starting the 8th. Yay.

Also I have gone an entire year without seeing a dead dog on the side of the road. This week I saw 2. The first one was burned to death. How could someone do that. And the second one I have no idea. I looked like it just fell over. It is kind of scary both of these were on main walking roads. It is so hard to remember that they do not think of their animals as pets

April 12, 2011

I went to town for the weekend. It was awesome and very productive, although it did not start off to well. I went to get my bike to head into town and found that it had a flat. Not wanting to deal with it, I decided to walk into town. So I definitely got my exercise for the day. I again got passed by the sugar cane man. I do not know how he does it, he comes out of nowhere and passes me, has time to rest, and still passes me. I was walking pretty fast too because the children were jogging to keep up with me. It’s like he is super human. But anyways, me and Randi had a meeting at a coffee shop and talked about our projects and what are plans were. We gave each other constructive criticism and it was great. Then yesterday we went to the Agriculture college and talked about how to get a goat project started. It was very informative although I am not sure what it is, but every time me and Randi go to meet people about business more than not they are complete jerks. There are some great ones, but there are also a lot that have no faith in their own people and think what we are doing is a lost cause. Yesterday this guy lectured us for 1 hour on reasons why this was not a good idea and how the people would not be able to take care of the animals and that they are just using us. I am not sure he got the idea that we were volunteers. He also wanted out phone numbers, luckily Randi said that if we needed something we would contact them, which is good because last time I gave my number out, the guy has still not stopped calling and this was months ago. I do not even answer, but he will not stop calling. It is really annoying.

Yue is leaving Friday, so we looked through his house. It was nice. I have acquired more buckets for water, which is great now I do not think I will worry as much about getting water. Hopefully anyways.

I turned in my grant last week and found out yesterday that, that grant is out of money. Kind of a bummer but my boss said that he thought if I did some revisions that it would be great for this other grant. So not a total loss, just disappointing. It is really stressful for me to write grants, I get really stressed about them. I do not think I like the thought that they might get rejected. Who likes to get rejected.

April 13, 2011

I am not sure what it is but I am so tired all the time. I did not get up to actually do anything until after lunch today and that is only because Jessica came by. I am just exhausted all the time. Hopefully that changes soon. I know this has to do with my sleeping habits, so maybe I need to switch malaria meds but I am not sure if that will actually work and that means that I have to take doxy which I really do not like. So I do not know.

I went and got my bike fixed today which I am always amazed goes super fast. Then I made banana wine with Jessica before we went to one of the sub villages, so that she could buy tomatoes. It was about an hour walk there and then back. On the way back I carried a bag on my head and did not use my hands at all. This is a huge accomplishment for me although we will see what my neck feels like in the morning. When I got back to the village, every one that saw me was laughing. It was pretty funny.

Their laughing got me to thinking about how awesome of a culture I live in. for the most part everyone is super happy and laughing all the time. They live such a hard life and yet still they always have a smile on their faces. It is wonderful. I wish I could say the same for myself here. Although I think for the most part I am pretty happy but it is weird how my mood does change so fast. One of the staff told us at training that during his service he was the most angry that he has ever been in his life. And I completely understand why. Take for instance me losing my face wash. I went from awesome to crawling back in bed in the matter of seconds. It is interesting how your emotions changes while here. Weird too. I was also thinking about how I got ‘most laid back’ in high school. That would never work for me now. I am so high strung it is ridiculous.

April 15, 2011

Best day yet. It was awesome. Have I told you that I am in love with my chicken group. They are amazing. Today we had a meeting in the morning about chicken illnesses. And of course everyone was late included the teacher. I was really scared that nothing was going to work out, especially because today I was suppose to vaccinate 300-400 chickens. And to my surprise everything turned out beautifully. I have vaccinated about 300 chickens today and have a few more to do tomorrow. And so many more people want chicken vaccinations I think I will be doing it possibly all week. Cloud 9 right now is all I can say.

Also made coffee cake today with blue band (chemical butter) and I think the butter went bad although I am not sure what could be in it to go bad. But it tastes really weird to me but everyone else says that they are awesome. If I die tonight, blame it on the blueband. Speaking of dying, I saw my first dead body in the village today. She was an old lady that had high blood pressure. It was crazy to see everyone standing around her and touching her. I am just not that good with death, especially if bodies are concerned. I am going to blame this on the lack of people I know that have died yet. I think I am destined for old age.

Also watched Cold Mountain with Claire. Not sure what my thoughts on that movie are. Although I really do not like Renee Zelwinger and I really liked her in this movie. It is do weird to think about the civil war and what life was like over 100 years ago and even compare it to now in Africa. Although me and Claire were talking and decided that you really could not compare it. Western culture vs African and what is considered development.

April 27, 2011

So I have not wrote for over a week now. Right before I left it was really, really crazy because almost every night I was vaccinating chickens, so I was selfless for once and gave my computer to Claire for the week so that she could surf the internet and watch a ton of movies. She is finished in October and is then thinking of taking some classes for teaching at a university in Ireland. I told her it was a great idea both because I want to go visit her and also because I really think the man of her dreams is waiting there for her. Plus she really needs to get out of this culture I think for a bit, she has been dating a Tanzanian on and off for the last year and I just do not think it will ever work. The cultures I think are to different and they are both really set in their ways. So I think Ireland is the best choice. But anyways, apparently I am a livestock volunteer. I think this is what I see in my future. Which works for me, especially if all the projects work as good as the chicken project. We shall have to see. I am planning on doing a goat project next and possibly a cow project, but only education for both of these. I personally do not think that cows are a good idea here, but at the same time people do have them, so if you’re going to have them, you should at least know what you are dealing with.

As for research, still not sure where I am at this point with this. I did go to the forestry office and got a permit so now I can take specimens out of the forest behind my house. Surprisingly this all happened in about a week (which I think might be unheard of in TZ). So very excited, possible something to do with firewood consumption. I am planning on talking to my professors over my vacation to try and figure it out some more.

I feel pretty amazing at the moment (this being in transit riding out the last 10 hours in London). I actually feel like I am starting to get somewhere in the village and feel really good about TZ in general. I am also I have decided really blessed to have the greatest friends ever in my region. I think without Randi, Tanya, and Claire I would not be here. They make life so much fun here. Claire came with me into Dar to send me off and celebrate my birthday. It was really nice. We went to the beach and all we did was tan and eat lots of food. It was wonderful. We had this drink called a Banana Pao. (Triple sec, banana liqueur, orange juice, and club soda) it was really good. It was awesome too because she loves to swim so I had someone to go in the water with. Although the jellyfish were out in record numbers. Literally just running your fingers through the water you would hit a bunch. They were babies though and did not sting. I only saw a few HUGE ones, and of course after that I ran for cover. It was really nice. We then also went and visited Claire’s friend Haule who goes to the University of Dar. He showed us around campus and then we had dinner together. It was really nice, except for the fact the Haule thinks I do not know any Swahili so Claire started yelling at him and telling him to speak to me in Swahili. You can imagine how this turned out. I was put on the spot and it was not good. I do not think he understands that I can understand a bunch and basic conversations are within my reach it is just when someone actually wants to talk that I run into trouble. Claire thinks that when I come back we should start talking more in Swahili. I will give it a try, it cannot hurt. Although it does suck because I am surrounded by geniuses when it comes to Swahili Randi, Claire, and Tanya are amazing. Claire even said she was surprised at how well the other 2 can talk. How can I compete with this. I guess I will keep trudging along and it is nice that they know it so well and that we are such good friends because then I do not feel that bad asking them anything or correct ways to say things.

So at the moment it is way passed my bed time and I am trying to stay awake until my flight. I do not think this is going to happen. Also looked at my ticket and realized I have a 15 hour layover instead of a 12 hour layover those 3 extra hours might kill me. But I decided to go into town, so I took the subway into Lecester square and walked around. It was really nice. I think it is where all the plays are held. I then kept walking and hit all the shops. I think their equivalent of Michigan Street in Chi-town. After that I walked around a little more and ended up by parliament. I did not go to Westminster abbey or anything both because it was getting late and also the ladies at the airport thought it might be a little chaotic with the wedding Friday. It was so nice to just be able to walk around and not be hollered at and actually walk on cement. I miss the cold air too. It was just lovely. I was unsure about going in by myself, but I am really glad that I did. I now wish I actually had more time here, England never really interested me, but now I think I might want to come back here and explore a little more. I was amazed at the amount of Starbucks and Pizza Huts here though.

Also I wanted to inform the Galen’s that I am on a week Birthday holiday just like them. This might be the first time that I have celebrated so long and by myself. I usually have Andrew and/ or Ashleigh with me, it is about time that I was able to celebrate by myself. It only took 25 years!

May 21, 2011

My flight back so far. It all started on Wed. May 18 when I was suppose to leave but I forgot to check the flights because who would have thought my flight would be canceled. I was only going to Chicago and it is spring but of course it was canceled and the next flight to TZ was not for a couple of days. So we returned Friday and I made it to Chicago where I willingly gave up my seat for some miles and what I thought was going to be a night in Chicago. I thought it was going to be great, I could hangout with Andrew. But of course this was wrong, when I went to get my ticket, I was informed they had no record on my TZ flight so the lady redid everything and I ended up on a later flight to London and did not get to stay in the hotel, although, I did get the free ticket. So now I am in London airport, where I did not pack very well at all and they messed up my bag and now it is lost God knows where. And this would happen because I have a computer inside of it. (this was because I thought I was going to be here for 15 hours again so I was going to go into town, but of course this did not happen and I am sitting here in the airport remembering all of the stuff that is in my lost bag that I actually kind of want/ need right now. On top of that list would be a ipod cord. I broke down and already bought this one (16£, pricey) But I still have 5 more hours in this airport and then a few bus rides and lots of other stuff. I think when I finally get home, I am just going to sleep for days. Another thing that is in the lost bag, my phone charger. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Hopefully this all works out and they find my bag and can bring it all the way to me. Although not sure how this is going to work yet. I put the PC office because I do not have an address, but I really do not want to return to Dar to get the bag so we shall see what happens.

Not sure if I want to travel by myself again. It is taking its toll today.

May 27, 2011

After many days and hours of frustration, I have finally made it back to my village. I think this might have been the worst trip back so far. But I have made it back in one piece and got my bag and everything taken care of so it is not too bad.

I had a great time at home with everyone. It was awesome to see everyone and hang out. Although I really thought it was going to be a little more relaxing, I swear I did not have 5 minutes to myself. But that is ok, it was so much fun. I really enjoyed seeing everyone. I went to the Grand Lux Café which I think is at the top of my list now, I always heard of it but had never been their until my mom took me for my birthday, it was really good. We then went to a White Sox game and froze to death. I have not been that cold in a while. On the way back to Michigan, I tried to surprise Hannah and Stephi which I guess we did, but I really wanted the look of surprise. I want to do this to someone just once in my life. I loved going up to the cottage. OMG it looks so good, I would have never thought mom and dad could do such a great job on it, it makes me a little sad that I am not going to be there this summer to enjoy it, but at least I have something to look forward too. Also went and saw Bridesmaids with my friend Lindsey and all of her bridesmaids. It was really fun, we went and bought her wedding dress and picked out the bridesmaids dresses. It was really nice and lots of fun. Her dress is gorgeous. It was so great to see everyone, I am so glad I came home, although obviously it is going to be hard to get back in the swing of things.

I talked to my advisors a little while I was home. I think I am going to go in the direction of firewood but not sure how yet. I am a little worried about all of this because I am approaching the 1 year mark and still have no idea what I want to do. To be honest in general I cannot believe I am still in school. I feel really dumb over here, I feel as if everything that I have ever learned has left me and my brain is just blank. Really need to get back in school mode and figure this thesis out because I know that I really want to do one because that is really the only thing that keeps me here at times, well that and the fact that my friends would kill me if I left. I also think I might want to go on in school at some point, so I always want to have that option.

I had a really hard time getting back to my village. I was really excited and ready to go home until the bus had decided to leave super early so I was stuck in Mpwapwa another day which actually was not that fun because Randi is with her family and Claire is on a 7 week holiday. I really do not enjoy hanging out by myself but it all worked out and I was able to get my bag. So I got back to the village today and the entire time on I was on the bus waiting to go I had a huge pit in my stomach. I really did not want to come back, but it is weird always as soon as I get here I am fine. It is just getting here that kills me. My house is all in order, Jessica cleaned it for me. And everyone was super excited to see me. It was really nice. Jessica told me that a bunch of people have died while I was gone and then of course we talked about chickens. A lot of chickens have been dying but only 3 people lost chickens from my group. It was from some disease I had not heard of, as a result, we might start vaccinating for this disease too. One women lost 23 chickens. That is a ton of money for someone in the village. That is over 100 dollars.

I have also decided to redecorate my house a little. I am not sure how yet but I am going to put up some more stuff and possible buy another bed depending on how much it cost. If I can get one for under 20 I think I am going to do it, we shall see.

I am pleasantly surprised at how I feel at the moment I hope that I am able to stay in a good mood. I know that it is going to be hard to get back into the daily grind, but I am hoping that I can and not slip into a bad place. Hopefully I can keep positive and busy. I think keeping busy is key and having the right state of mind.

Also turned in my grant revisions for the second time on this new grant and am really hoping that everything works out properly. It would be a nice break. I do not think I would ever want to spend my life writing grants, they are just so much work.

May 28, 2011

I have spent my first full day back in the village and I have to say that I am not too impressed. I know that this is going to take a bit to get back in the grind, but it really sucks. I feel like I am stuck in prison at certain points of the day, but then at others I am happy to be here. I just need to keep myself busy, which is actually quite the feat. I am trying my best. I just really do not know what to do. I keep thinking of all the things that I want to do and I am sad to say that Tanzania ranks very low on the list. Oh well. I know it will get better. I think it was both good and bad that I went home. Good in the sense that it gave me something to look forward to this last year, but now I am not sure. I just do not know. I am going to try and get back in the grind soon, it just sucks that I feel like this. I know it will get better. I am also having a hard time because it is memorial weekend and I wish I was at the cottage. I am not good staying in one place. I have also figured out that I really like being around people, which I am here too, But they do not speak English and my Swahili I think is getting worse. Oh well maybe tomorrow will be better.

May 29, 2011

Today has been a good day. I have been reading The Devil in the White City, which is a really good book. It is about Chicago and the world’s fair. I am almost done with it, it is really good. I also spent some time collecting specimens for my project and making my house a little nicer. As usual, I think that I just need to keep busy. Hope I can.

I went and saw Jessica today and she was giving Paputo a bath. He was all clean and ready for bed when of course he fell and was completely covered with dirt again. I am not sure how everyone can live with all of this dirt. It drives me insane. I just think to myself what it the point of doing anything, you know you are just going to end up dirty again. I also was walking through the village today and 2 days ago my neighbor did not have a house, today it is half way built. They can build houses so fast it is insane, it is also built out of mud, so we shall see how long this one lasts.

May 30, 2011

I am freaking out a little, ok a lot about my research project. I have no idea what to do or how to do it. This is not good. I feel like I have writer block only for research and anything related to school. I really need this to go away because I know that I really want to do a research project.

I made corn pancakes with a peppery white sauce today. Not sure my thoughts yet on them. They were kind of like biscuits and gravy, so I guess they were good.

May 31, 2011

Things are slowlu starting to get better. As usual, I am thinking way to much. I just cannot seem to help it. I am also reading this book called Freedom and it is killing me. I cannot stop reading it, not because it is so good, but because I just do no understand it and have no idea where it is going. Claire says that it is really good, but I am still skeptical.

Claire went down to the south of TZ this week. She said the ride down was the scariest ride so far. She then told me that a girl got killed by a lion. Not really sure where this happened yet, but she said she saw it on her way. Really weird, mu guess was it was by the national park.

June 2, 2011

Happy Belated Birthday Hannah!! Happy 22. I came into town and am starting to get somewhere, I feel like I able to start to think again a little bit. Slow and steady I guess. I got to talk to my mom and dad yesterday as well as Hannah and Andrew which was great. Still really jealous of Hannah’s summer. Randi came into town today to, so we are just trying to get some work done and prepare ourselves for the next few months. I am really going to try and get some more projects started and continue some of the ones that I have been brushing to the side.

March 30, 2011

I am back in the village and really refreshed and SUPER happy to be back after a long, but fun trip. I am kind of amazed at the amount of traveling I did and very proud that I was able to do it at times by myself. I took a bus from Iringa to Dodoma that went through the bush literally. I sat on the bus for 9 hours as we went up and down winding roads that were all dirt. I would say it would be the equivalent to riding through the mountains on the way to Steamboat but with only one lane on dirt with no guard rails. I have to say I did not feel like I was going to die once on that road which is more than I can say for most of the roads. I did realize though that if we would of crashed I am pretty sure I would either be dead or in critical condition because we would have just toppled off the mountain. But it was fun and the view was amazing.

I then spent the night in Dodoma by myself which was not too bad. They have 3G network there so I got to skype the family and caught up on everything. It was great. After that I went to Claire’s house and caught up with her and Yue. It turns out that Yue (PC education volunteer) is moving to Moshi which is in the north, so we are going to have a going away party for him on Saturday. It should be really fun although I am not looking forward to going back into town. I really need to go and I know it will be fun with everyone. I am just ready for some down time, especially too because I know that I am going to be gone for a while at home. Oh well.

So I returned and was pleasantly surprised that the termites had not eaten my door. I really thought I was going to come back to a house with no door. The termites here are killing me. I was also happy to see that my house was intact and no one had broken in. Lately is seems a lot of people have had break-ins. I can only assume this is also going to happen to me, but really hope it doesn’t. I think it helps that I lock every door that I can which comes to 4 and my neighbors Iive super close. But I have to say if they can make it all the way into my bedroom and out without anyone noticing, I would be very impressed and of course totally pissed off. But anyways the house was in order except for the amount of termites trying to take over, so I super cleaned the house and now it is beautiful. Then I went to see young Jessica and greet my neighbors. It was great. I really do love my village, even if at times I do not. They are just amazing, they remind me so much of everyone at the cottage. I also went to the open market today and bought some vegetables. I love the rainy season, cheap, amazing looking vegetables. So I made fried potatoes for dinner.

I also bought instant irish cream coffee when I was in Dar and a ceramic mug. I think my mornings are going to be transformed by this. I think the coffee tastes great although I am sure there are many who would beg to differ. I think I am going to attempt poptarts tomorrow. I am very excited. But not excited to do the massive amount of laundry that I have piling up.

And yes I just peed in my courtyard because a frog has taken over my bathroom. Why does it have to choose the bathroom. I also found a dead one when I was cleaning the bathroom.

March 31, 2011

I think God must be punishing me for something because in the last week I have got to care packages that contain peanut M & Ms and I walked through a whole aisle at the grocery store. Mind you I have not seen real candy in months. And now it all just keeps appearing. This is going to be a long Lent.

Also I forgot that when I was at Claire’s I walked into the kitchen to be greeted by a nice large rat that was running for cover. Needless to say, I freaked out and ran the other way on top of the furniture. This kept me awake all night. This also reminded me of the year of the rat circa 2007. Although Han ended up finding that one dead under the dryer. I feel this one might haunt me for a while as well. We shall see. Yue swears he saw it run out the hole in window. I am skeptical.

Today I spent the day doing laundry and cooking. I made poptarts that were amazing and a rice dish. I tried to use the corn that Jessica gave me. I boiled it for like 30 minutes, but it was still really hard. I wish they grew good corn here. It is horrible. Not something I will be missing from here. I also got a huge amount of corn from the village today that I get to mortar and pestle and then bring to the mill to get milled. This should be interesting. They would not let me say no to it.

And yet again the kids got me. Today they killed my sunflower plant that was in my courtyard. It was beautiful and growing all by itself. I am not sure how they manage to do all of this. But it is getting me one set closer to killing them. WHY do they have to kill everything I am growing between this and the playing with my water tank (I constantly tell them no and yell at them) I might go off the deep end. Today also made me realize that I need to shut my house door anytime that I lay down. I actually fell asleep today mid afternoon and was awakened by the mattress moving. It turns out that my dada’s son had walked in my house and was coming to greet me. He is 5 and usually walks in the house. This did not bother me as much as the fact that I did not notice until he was right in my face. I think I need to work on this.

Again I will say the ceramic mug has completely transformed my mornings. What Marge the fan did for Stephi, the cup is doing for me.

And one last thing. My garden is starting to actually look like a garden, it only took 3 months, but it looks healthy. Although nothing I am really interested to much in eating out of it. It does look good. I am going to have lots of sunflowers, corn, and sorghum. Guess I

will make some oil and flower and eat like the villagers.

April 1, 2011

Yup, it is April Fool’s Day. And of course I had no idea. I was gullible twice within the time span of 10 minutes. When you have no idea, why would you suspect people. I am going to plead that I am just that nice and think everyone is always telling the truth. Which I actually do think most of the time because at least to me it seems like a lot of work to lie to people. Telling the truth is just so much easier.

I know I keep talking about my chicken group. But they are just so wonderful. I finally finished the grant and am turning it in tomorrow. This only took me about 1 month to finally do. Hopefully it is good because I really want to give the women chickens. I am very proud of them at the moment. This project seems to be the only one that is actually getting anywhere at the moment.

So I was running through the middle of town today when some of the children greeted me. I went to look at them and tripped to my death. I do not think I am cut out for running in Africa. I tripped on a rock that might have been sticking out a few millimeters. I have some serious running problems. If I do not really hurt myself by the end of 2 years it is going to be a miracle. I think the children were in shock, I just laughed and got up and continued running.

I still love the late afternoon/night here the best. It is so peaceful and the weather is cool. I feel like I get a lot accomplished and really enjoy myself. It is funny because at times I am really sad that I am going to be going home and gone for a bit and then at other times I cannot wait to get out of here. I do think going home is going to be good though if not just for the fact that I get to see everyone. But also because I think I can take a closer look at what I am doing here and reevaluate what I still want to do and what I still want to get out of the culture and the village. We shall see how well this works. I honestly see tears in my future, mostly just because I am going to hate to leave everyone again. But it will be fine as it always is.

I made the best thing today. Flat bread with garlic paste (thanks Blair), cucumbers, tomatoes, and lawry salt. It was amazing. I am really hoping to attempt cinnamon rolls sometime soon. I just need to find some eggs. Another good reason to have a chicken project hopefully this means more eggs in the village which means I can actually make more things. Although this could back fire because of all the food I will then make and eat.

Another thought. I am not sure if you have seen Tanzanian shillings before but they look like monopoly money. If this was not bad enough they reprinted this year and they now look even more like it. This makes it really hard to remember that this is real money. I just spend it like it is nothing. At the moment I would not be winning the game.

April 4, 2011

I have returned again from town. I walked in Saturday morning. It only took me about 1 ½ hours. I was really impressed with myself, especially because I thought it was going to take like 2-3 hours. It was a nice walk and I got to talk to a lot of people on my way in. One embarrassing thing though is that I got passed twice by a guy carrying sugar cane. To put this in perspective this is a guy that it pushing a bike that has sugar cane equivalent to the size of 2 by 4’s down the road. And he was able to pass me not once but twice. How, how is this possible. It was great though because when I got into town I ate breakfast with everyone at my favorite chappati place. Then we did a bunch of errands before meeting a group of people at one of the restaurants for some pork and fries. It was really good. Then everyone came back to Claire’s and we had cake for Yue’s going away and another friends birthday. It was an interesting array of people with a mix of personalities and nationalities. But it was really fun and we had a dance party which was great. I forgot how much I miss music in general.

Then Yesterday me and Claire just chilled and did nothing. It was great. I attempted to make foccia bread but it was a disasters. But of course we still ate it and watched the movie forgetting Sarah Marshall. A really good lazy Sunday.

Today I cleaned my house and made ciabbati bread. It turned out awesome, so I made brushetta it was great. I got some balsamic vinegar from Claire so it is adding more flavor to my food. Very exciting. I also went with Bebe and Jesca to get water. We walked into the mountains and into a gully where Bebe dug a hole and we waited for the water to fill up so that we could fetch it. Again very thankful to have a water tank and that I was born in a country with running water. This water was not appetizing but really there is no other choice for water. Although I still am not sure why the water pipes are not running more frequently since it is the rainy season. I think they need to clean out the system which I and the old man that oversees it have both told the government about. Hopefully they fix this soon otherwise we are going to have even more water issue’s than normal.

April 5, 2011

Today I was awakened by Paputo greeting me. It was 8 am and I was still not out of bed. I do not know what it is, but I have been sleeping a lot lately and am always still really tired. Not sure what this is all about, but Jesca was amazed that I was still sleeping. It was a good sleep to. Maybe I just exchanged having a hard time sleeping in general for always wanting to sleep. Oh well. I guess I will just drink a lot of coffee in my awesome mug.

Today I went to the secondary school to talk more to the headmaster. He was busy so I was talking to a teacher and I asked him what he thought I could help him with. These are his answers in order.

1. water (not like I am not trying, they already have a water tank and a pipe in front of their school, really not sure what else I can do for them here short of building a lake)

2. Electricity (did not even know what to say, I am not God thus why he thinks I can do this who knows)

3. Lab (which is actually what I am working on, but they have no science teachers to at the moment not going very well obviously)

I then went this afternoon to Jesca’s and mortar and pesteled the shit out of 5 kilos of corn that is going to be milled tomorrow by my bebe who is carrying it into town. (probably should be doing this because I am younger but she will not let me). So I know you were wondering the how corn goes from cob to flour in Tanzania. Here is the great, long process. First you plant the corn and wait till it grows, then you pick the corn and separate it from the husk and let it dry in the sun. After that you mortar and pestle the shit out of it to get rid of the shell then you wash it and finally take it to the mill. Now add in usually you have to walk about 1-2 hours to both the shamba and the mill and this turns into a long, long process. Again machines are amazing.

Me and my neighbor tried the fuel efficient stove that I made. Still not sure my thoughts on it yet. A lot of smoke was being created, but Talita said that it was from the wood, I am skeptical about the whole thing but she says the more it gets used the better and easier it will be. I hope so because if this is the case this will greatly improve the lives of people (women) in the village because they will not have to spend so much time cutting firewood. I hope this works but it looks like it is going to need to be made differently.

April 6, 2011

I woke up somewhat early this morning and made drop biscuits. So I had biscuits and coffee for breakfast. I thought this was the making of a great day. This was not the case. I got a huge stomach ache from the biscuits and have been sick the rest of the day. The smell and thought of both food and oil makes me queasy. I really hope this passes soon.

But I went on with my day and talked to the Bwana Shamba (Mr. Farm) about chicken vaccinations. I then did a ton of laundry and I still have a ton more to go. Since it is the end of the rainy season and I have a full tank of water I am trying to wash anything and everything that could possibly need to get washed before I head home. Speaking of water, there is still hardly any water in the village. Not good luckily it is pouring at the moment so people will be able to fill their buckets.

Other than that not too much happened today. I have been thinking a lot about home and getting really excited to come home. Me, Claire, and Randi have been talking about it, and came to the conclusion that I am coming home to see everyone and eat lots of good food. We decided food was a huge plus in coming home because although we can make things here, it is a lot harder and a lot of work and honestly it doesn’t taste the same. I think tomorrow depending on what the day is like I might attempt pierogi’s, not sure if I am in the mood to try them yet or not. But the day is getting closer.

April 7, 2011

Leona would be proud today. I made pierogi’s from scratch of course. I made a potato, onion, cheese filling and then I boiled and fried them in onions and butter. They were really good although they would have been great with some bacon, sour cream, and horseradish. But you cannot have everything. I think I will have to make them again. I think next on my list in potato pancakes. The problem here is eggs. Supposedly there is a huge amount in one of the subvillages but at the moment walking that far just seems like a lot of work. But let’s see how desperate and bored I actually get.

Which leads me to this morning. I got up rather early for me and went to wash my face to discover that my face wash was missing. Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I checked and rechecked the house. But of course it was not there, the children had swiped it. I left it out, but I have been leaving it next to my water tank for weeks now. I was so mad about it I went back to bed. It just makes me so angry, especially because this just puts further evidence into me having to keep my courtyard door closed at all times which I do not like. I wish I just knew who it was, instead of having to condemn all the children. It sucks to because it was Clean and Clear face wash which makes my face feel really clean and obviously is hard to get here. I guess I am lucky that I am coming home, if at the very least to stock up on things that I want.

Last week it was a rock that came out of nowhere, this week it was the mud. I was walking at night (bad idea, even with a light, really, really, dark out here) and slipped in the mud. Luckily there was a tree to grab hold of, but let’s just say I was not clean anymore.

Have continued to run although, I think I might actually be getting slower if that is possible. Really need to start kicking it into gear. I do not want to be last, and I have to beat Han so I really need to start running. (stephi possibly, but I do not see this one happening) Although if Emily runs the that is the number one goal, I just need to come in before her, if only by a second.

If you have not noticed already, I am really bi polar when it comes to everything here. And to keep in them with this, today I had almost every emotion possible. It is weird I go back and forth so much about wanting to stay in my village versus finding ways to escape it. It is a weird thing. At the moment content with village life but this morning I would have done anything to get out of here. Weird how that works.

Also had watermelon for dinner, it was wonderful.

April 8, 2011

Finished the watermelon in under a day. I was a little ashamed of this but then I talked to Randi and she said she did the same thing yesterday. It is just so good and of course you do not want it to go to waste. I might try to cook watermelon jam, I am not sure if it sounds that appetizing but I have the time so I figure why not try it. So tonight for dinner I had bruschetta again and then I had bread with peanut butter, honey, and bananas with coffee. It was really good. This got me to thinking about cooking and how in the US I would never cook this much for myself. I do love to cook for people, but hate cooking for myself. I am starting to enjoy cooking for myself although I would obviously prefer company. But I think this experience might help me to have better nutritional skills when it comes to cooking for myself. I actually think I eat more of a variety here (at least at the moment). If I was cooking for myself I would more than likely be having minute rice with a frozen vegetable. Not that exciting.

Today I went and greeted old Jessica because it has been way to long and of course on the way I got a that a million times. Where have you been, it has been so long, which really I cannot get mad about because I would ask the same question but I still hate answering it and having to greet everyone and their grandma along the way. It is just a lot of people and although I am a people person there is such thing as to many people. But I went and greeted her and everyone else. We then went and saw 2 people that were sick. The first was a little boy that was almost all better which was good because he looked terrible last time I saw him. But now he is back to normal. We then went to her neighbor and talked to her. I am not sure how to put this but it was horrible. They say they do not know what is wrong with her, she is about my age and has one kid. I was not prepared for what I saw, although Jessica did tell me she was really sick and that she really wanted to die. I still did not understand fully. I also thought that I have seen a lot of sick people but this was way more than expected. She couldn’t move at all by herself and was skin and bones. Her mom moved her around like a doll she couldn’t even keep her head up. She also could not talk, it was more like a deep cough if anything. It scared the shit out of me, I did not know what to do. A million things were going through my mind including OMG what is she dies right now, it was that bad. I went back into the other room because I really thought that I was going to faint in there. Not a good thing to do. It was kind of a wakeup call.

I also had a chicken meeting today and of course it went wonderful. I am in love with my chicken group they are just amazing. Everything is going so well, I could not be more proud. Although today Jessica was late to teach and they wanted me to start. This also scared the shit out of me, I am not sure what it is but when I have to talk in front of people I literally become stupid. I cannot even say one word. Not a good characteristic to have in a volunteer. Guess I am not destined to be a teacher. Next week we are vaccinating chickens. IT should be really interesting.

I am thinking about doing an HIV/AIDS testing day. Although I am not sure at the moment how that would work or how I would get people to come and actually get tested. I talked to both Jessica’s about this and they thought it was a good idea. Although old Jessica said that people are really scared of HIV/AIDS and do not want to know which is true. Even I am scared of it. But I am hoping I can figure away to get people to come because although it is a scary virus, it is better to know if you have it I think. I think you can live a better, fuller life. But I totally understand why people are scared, it is a scary disease. I might try some type of bribe such as if you get tested you will get a plate of food or maybe a magazine. Petty maybe, but better than nothing.

April 9, 2011

*****STO LAT AL AND STEPHI!!!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.*****

So the women that I went and saw yesterday that scared the shit out of me died today. It is really sad, but I think it is all for the best. She is with God now. Although I was thinking about this and it is a little scary because that could of happened while I was there. I am just not that used to death and dying, the only people that have died were Grandpa Witte and Sister Terence. I have been very lucky.

I feel like I got a lot accomplished today, I put my thoughts in order which was good because tomorrow me and Randi are going to have a meeting to talk about our projects and see if there is anywhere we can collaborate. I am really excited about this because I think it will help give me some feedback and more direction.

I just finished a book of short stories. I am not sure yet if I like this idea or not. Some of them were really good, but then others almost killed me getting through them. I think I am more of a one story per book kind of gal.

I am getting super excited to come home as usual. I cannot wait to see the cottage, all the pictures look awesome.

I went running today and it is crazy how your mind wanders while you run. I also noticed today how beautiful the scenery was. I wish I could capture how gorgeous it looks. It is breath taking. I am going to try and take some pictures we will see if they turn out. But the view is so good, I almost don’t want to stop running, especially when the sun it going down. Although Sunsets are always amazing.

March 15, 2011

Rest In Peace Sister.

So I feel like I am in a funk. First I am definitely in a food funk. I cannot wait to get to Dar so I can eat something other than Tanzanian food. I am just really sick of having the same thing all the time. I am also having no revelations as to what to try and make here to get out of this funk. I need some ideas for food. I did make vegetarian tacos yesterday which were really good. I made my own taco shells, which I am pretty sure I will not do again. They were ok, but I am bringing some back from the states. I will also be visiting Between the Tracks when I get home for a burrito and chips and salsa. I think I just need to add something new into my diet. BUT WHAT.

Secondly last week I was on cloud nine. I finished my homework and was actually impressed at the amount of things that I had accomplished In the village work wise. But this week I feel like I have done nothing and there is no point to me being here. I know there is, but it is so hard to hear what other people are doing and not compare myself. I know everyone and every situation is different, but I just feel like I need to do more this week. But I am still stuck with the question of what and how. I really want to help with water, but I still am at square one on that. Especially because I am pretty sure whatever I do is going to involve money. It is so hard to try do things, especially because everything cost money.

Thirdly, today we had a big meeting with the district. I was suppose to go but didn’t. I came home and got ready, but then I decided to just wait at my house until it started because they always tell me to go home and they will come and get me when it is starting. Well they didn’t. And by the time I realized, I ended up not going because I guess I kind of got freaked out. I get kind of scared/ intimidated when I have to be in a meeting with the government. So I didn’t go. But Paul went, why he didn’t come and get me I do not know. But he went. He said it was ok. But that really I never need to be at any of them unless I need something from them or am working on something with them. Which I guess he is right. I still probably should have went, but there is nothing I can do now.

I just need to say again how much I love hanging out with Randi and Claire. I had a great time yesterday with them. We just hung out and watched movies as usual but it was fun and is always relaxing. The only thing that sucks is sleeping at Claire’s is horrible. I hardly ever sleep. It has something to do with the environment and the insects. Which is weird because I have my own room and bed, yet every time I so wish I was at home.

I also hear Michigan is doing well in the tournament. That is awesome.

I almost forgot. Claire keeps forgetting that it is Lent so she freaks out every time she offers me candy or cookies. It is really funny. It always cracks me up because people get so mad at themselves for bringing up stuff that people gave up for Lent and trying to offer it. I do not know why. It doesn’t bother me at all, I forget myself sometimes that it is Lent. Also in the spirit of Lent Randi is attempting to give up Carbs. Not sure why or really what she will eat but she is trying it. I think she is trying it because Claire and her both did not know if they could last that long giving something up. I do not understand this either. Maybe since I have always done lent it seems not that big of a deal but it always seems like a huge deal to everyone else. Also I told them about the different dilemma’s if you give up certain things. Like if you give up chocolate does that include chocolate milk. Or sweets does that include the milk too. They had different thoughts too. I tried to explain that it just depends on the person and but I am not sure if they got it.

March 16, 2011

I just cannot understand it. I have the hardest time waking up here. Not sure why, but I cannot get out of bed before 8 am to save my life unless I really need to. I have also felt sluggish the last few days and today I came home and feel asleep, which I never do. I was just telling Randi how I was sad that I couldn’t take naps anymore which stinks because I love to take naps. She thought naps were unhealthy. I just think they are wonderful. So my sleeping is all over the place.

I went to old Jessica’s today and we made maandazi. She made me do everything so that I would know how to make them when I visit. I hope I remember although it was pretty simple. They are so good. They are like little donuts just not as sweet. Tanzanian do not like to eat sweet things, but they love to drink it. The amount of sugar they put in their tea is unbelievable. Tomorrow I am going to farm with Jessica and then we are going to make bread. Hopefully it turns out.

I went running today and did not really listen to the people hollering at me today. Usually I do but today I didn’t. It turns out one of the girls was yelling for me to wait for her. Sorry, so tomorrow I said I would come and get her. My neighbor is going to, so instead of me feeling like crap I get to feel even worse because I just got slaughtered by two Tanzanians. It should be fun though because I love running with people, it reminds me of Sarah McCormick and me running cross country in high school. We were horrible, all we did was run and talk. But we were really, really slow.

Also reading a book called Flowers for Algernon. It is a science fiction book that Claire’s brother gave her for her birthday. It is pretty good so far. Not at all what I expected. I always thought science fiction were about outer space but this one is about a genius. Not sure how it ends yet, but I think I like it.

Again I am going to say this. I really like running here. It gets me out of the house and I feel like I am doing something and interacting with people. Because Tanzanians are always outside. I have lots of people to say hi to. I like it.

Jessica bought a huge cup of bamboo pombe today. So I of course helped her drink it. I think I really like it which I think might turn out to be a problem later on . But anyway in small doses obviously it is ok. I just cannot get into the habit of drinking it a lot because I think this could also lead to me going to the open market to drink which I think will just lead to bad things. So I will drink with Jessica and maybe a select few but that is it. Pombe is homemade alcohol if you did not know.

March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. I hope everyone is eating lots of corn beef and cabbage today and has at least one Irish Car Bomb. Oh how I miss a good St. Patrick’s Day with Jenna.

So I feel really weird about today. This is how my day went. Again I had really hard time getting up this morning and finally pulled myself out of bed because I was already late. I went to old Jessica’s to help her farm and then I ended up staying and we cooked bread together. It was great, but then she got a call and we spent the next 2 hours on the side of the road waiting for a friend of hers or relative, I still do not understand. Well he came, in his own car. Turns out he is in the military so he had on his army fatigues. Did not see if he had a gun or not. So we got in his car and went to his mother’s house. Where it was just weird. Not like I would act with my mom and dad. We then got back in the car and drove to Jessica’s house, which there was no reason to go because we got there and turned right back around. It was weird and then we went to my house. Which I didn’t really want to but I didn’t know what else to do. SO we rode in the car again to my house. Which I didn’t like because I feel really weird about riding in a car around here. I just get even more stares. So they came in and stayed for like 2 minutes and then they left. It was really weird. I am not sure if this is just a Tanzanian thing or if this is normal. I felt like he was just showing off his car. (which I did not like) But the day is done and there is nothing I can do about it, I just feel weird about it.

I think I am going insane, I keep losing things and cannot figure out where they went. Today I lost my pajama bottoms and have torn the place a part looking for them. I know I am going to wake up tomorrow and they are going to be staring me in the face.

Also I think I have decided I am having trouble sleeping because a mixture of my malaria medication, the fact that I live on top of people, and the fact that things keep happening in my village and I am reading murder mysteries (which are really addicting). But I find myself up at all hours of the night, dead set that I heard something and someone is trying to get into the house. One morning it was the sound of someone sharpening a knife. I was dead set that they were sawing off my locks. I really need to stop this imagination, this might also explain why I have been tired so much lately. Paul told me it was because I needed to exercise but I said that I actually do that.

Also Jessica asked me about Paul and Randi’s projects. It is funny after talking to her I did not feel so bad about what I was doing. I really wish I could stay on one emotional level with everything instead of all over the place.

March 18, 2011

Again I had trouble sleeping again. But I think I have become somewhat used to it at least. Today I cleaned my house, did all my laundry, and packed for my trip to Dar and Iringa. I am so excited. Especially because also Tanya and Randi are coming into Mpwapwa tomorrow. It should be a good day, but first I am going with old Jessica to see her daughter in town. This should be interesting considering my Swahili. But it will be fun I think.

I had a chicken meeting today and it went wonderful as usual. I think I found a really good group of women to work with, which makes me very happy. This is our 6 meeting so far. Today we talked about building bandas. I am really excited. I just need to submit my grant and hopefully you are looking at the buyer of 60 chickens. We shall see. Cross your fingers.

I also used my charcoal stove today. Which I hate to light, but I did. I made 2 loaves of bread and chickpeas. The chickpeas take like 3 hours, it is insane. I also grilled some corn that my neighbor gave me, it was awesome. It still doesn’t compare to sweet corn, but it will do. I also ate guava fruit today. They are really good, I am not sure how to describe them though. You eat the entire thing, seeds and skin.

I have not been running in 2 days and I feel really bad about it. Hopefully I can tomorrow, but if not Tanya and my friend Natalie said that they would run with me in Dar. Although it is going to be so hot, we shall see. I also might be preoccupied with all the food options. I am dreaming of a BLT and seafood pizza with a glass of wine at the moment. Two more days and I can have American food.

March 19, 2011

So there was a miscommunication with Jessica so I ended up having to ride my bike into town, which I planned on doing at one point during our conversation, but then I thought I did not have to. Well it turns out I did, and ended up riding in a skirt, which is really hard. I had one hand on the handle bars and one hand on my skirt the entire time. Scared to death that I was going to fall to my death, luckily this did not happen. In the end I made it fine and me and Randi went with Jessica to visit her daughter. I have also decided that I hate visiting Tanzanians’. It is always just weird and awkward. I figure I have enough of this already, so I will keep this visits to a minimum.

Very excited because tomorrow I am going to Dar and get real food. I cannot wait.

March 20, 2011

So yesterday I forgot to tell you that my friend Jessica asked Randi in Swahili why her Swahili was so much better than mine in front of me. I then told her in Swahili that I could understand her. I think this caught her by surprise. I wonder if she would understand that I actually do understand a lot I just cannot talk to save my life. Either way she totally thought I didn’t understand. Then we went and met another friend of hers where she told me that I was fat. (I know they mean fat as healthy, but even still I cannot help but take it literally) But luckily Claire’s friend came over that night and he told me I was beautiful, so that kind of made up for the day.

I have arrived in Dar with Tanya after a horrible bus ride. I really thought that I was going puke, the only question was where. Luckily I didn’t, I just told Tanya I couldn’t talk, move, or open my eyes until we got there. So we arrived and then we went and had BURGERS, they were awesome. And now I am watching skiing on ESPN in air conditioning at an Ex Pats house. They are a really nice family that work at the Embassy. I think I could live like this for a while.

March 22, 2011

I have spent the last few days in Dar and it has been amazing. I have had both a burger and pizza. What more could you ask for. I spent the last few days at warden training which means that if shit hits the fan here I am in charge of 8 individuals and their safety. Kind of scary, luckily I think everything will be find but incase not I will be prepared. Also I am do not no really where to go with this I am just so overwhelmed with everything here and so much has happened. I think I am going to need a few days to processes this first.

Tomorrow I head to Iringa to see my friend Kenzi’s village. I am excited because I love visiting people and seeing their site. I am also hoping she can help me figure out a research project. We shall see.

March 24, 2011

After a very eventful morning of us trying to get to the bus, we finally made it to the bus. I then sat on a bus for the next 12 hours to make my way to Kenzi’s village. The bus ride was not that bad except that my chair didn’t recline, so my back is in horrible condition. But I made it to Kenzi’s village. After getting off the bus, we walked an hour on the dirt road into her village. I feel like I have entered another planet. The environment is so different. It is similar to the Midwest, Kenzi says southern Wisconsin. There are pine trees and trees in general as well as lots and lots of water. It is amazing, just think the complete opposite of where I live. And things actually grow here. The corn is huge, I took a picture of it. I cannot believe we actually live in the same place. It is so interesting to go to other people’s villages and see what it is like because everyone’s is so, so different. I think hers is closer to what I expected. She does live a little ways off from people which I am not sure if I would but I also do not particularly like living on top of people either.

We are going to walk around her village and hang out with our friend dan. It should be fun. I am also really excited because she is an amazing cook, so we are going to make cinnamon rolls. I am cannot wait.

March 25, 2011

It has been a full day of cooking. We woke up and had oatmeal and then walked 1 ½ hour one way to get flour because they were out in the village. It was really nice, but I cannot image having to do that, especially because flour and the basics exist literally 100 feet in front of my house. It is definitely a different world here. On top of that Kenzi was freaking out at how hot it was today. The sad thing is that her hot might, and let me stress might be my cold. Oh how jealous I am. So after returning we started to cook and make lunch. We made a rice dish that was very good. Kenzi might be the best cook in out group so I definitely lucked out. We then made ginger bars with lemon frosting. Although I am not sure what my thoughts are on this yet, but I still defiantly ate it so. It was good. We then made homemade bagels and cooked up some goat meat that we bought today. It was really good.

March 26, 2011

Today was another eventful day within Kemzi’s village. We went with her counterpart to her garden and picked corn. We then came back and had lunch before heading out to take a nice long walk to the Ruaha river. Yes, they actually have running rivers here. Not a drop of rain in Dodoma and Iringa has a river. I think I might have one of the worst spots in the country, environment wise. I do hear that Singida is worse but I am skeptical. But at least now I am used to it and except it. Although this just reinforces more that I will be living somewhere with a cold, cold winter. And of course lots and lots of snow. Anyways after that we returned and hung out and talked. We had crepes with bananas and chocolate sauce for dinner and made cinnamon rolls that I am going to eat tomorrow before I make the long trek home. I am really hoping to make it home in one day. Not sure if this is possible yet, but hoping it is. Especially because I hate traveling alone.

I am having a great time with Kenzi. It is so much fun to just walk around, talk, and cook. It was also nice too because I talked to Kenzi about my research and think as before I might have come up with a better research project. But as usual I have no idea and am hoping for the best, but I think this next idea might be actually be plausible. We shall see what my professors think of it.

Also funny thing, Kenzi has a dog and Tanzanian’s are scared to death of dogs. I think I need one so that the kids will stay away. This might actually be a good investment.

Disclaimer: Not sure if you noticed but I have eaten sweets. But I have decided that I am on vacation. Also really if we cannot cook, what are we going to do way out here in the bush. So I gave myself a few free days.

March 27, 2011

I left Kenzi’s village today and actually traveled by myself a little bit. Kenzi walked with me a little ways and then I walked the rest of the way and took a coasta into Iringa. It was kind of scary for me because I really do not like doing things by myself. I usually con Claire or Randi into do everything with me. I am going to blame it on being a twin. But it was really nice and I was very proud of myself for making it here all by myself. Tomorrow I travel to Dodoma by myself and then finally back to the Village. It stinks how long it takes to get in and out of my village. It is crazy that it is easier to get to Dar than anywhere else.

But I met up with some friends in Iringa and it was really fun. We went to this really nice restauarant that over looks the city. It was beautiful and I had a club sandwich so I was in heaven. I also bought a new purse which I am really excited about.

Before I left Kenzi made cinnamon rolls and they were amazing. OMG. I think I am going to have to start making them in the village. The only problem is they are kind of expensive because they take a lot of butter and sugar which is expensive. But I am really excited to try and make them.

March 6, 2011

First I have to say, I think one of my favorite things now is milk with a little bit of sugar. Claire has a milk man that comes every night and delivers milk. This is milk that just came from the cow. It is so good. Secondly I think I ate more bread today than I ever have in my life. I didn’t want to cook, so I are bread for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not the best way to stay healthy.

I got a package from Jenna today which was awesome because it had candy in it. Even better that it came today because I am going to give up candy, sweets, and pop for lent. Claire was concerned how this would affect me making cookies. I told her I would still make plenty because I really like to cook and it gives me something to do in the village.

I am currently writing my quarterly report for school and it is really nice, because it is help putting what I am doing in perspective and helping me realize that I am doing something, even though I still spend a lot of time bored. My research proposal is killing me at the moment. I am trying to find the type of termites that exist here and I have emailed and tried to talk to some people and am having no results. Very discouraging. I am really nervous about this. I just want to make sure I research something that I am really passionate and interested in. I also want to do a really good job on it.

My chicken project is coming along awesome. The women are great. We named ourselves the subira group. And elected a board. It is great. I now am in charge of trying to write a grant which is another headache because again I want it to be really good and I want to actually get the money. I feel like my English and writing have really gone downhill since being here, so this does not help things.

I watched Body of Lies and Traitor this weekend. They were both really good I thought. Weird that both of them were about terrorism. Also talked to Han and Stephi before there big road trip. I am really jealous, they are going to have so much fun.

On a last note. I had some of the wine this weekend and thought it was pretty good this time. Now is this because my expectations are lower, or I am just getting drunk that quickly. I feel it could be a mixture if both.

I was cooking today and talking to my parents on the phone. Well I went to blow out the kerosene stove and instead of going of it roared into a huge fire with really high flames. And then I tried to blow it out again and this newspaper that I use for a handle started of fire. I almost burned the house down. Not sure how I would of explained this.

March 7, 2011

I ate my first insect today. It was a flying termite that was deep fried and salted. Jessica’s son found a bunch and she cooked them. She said a lot of people in Ethiopia and Sudan eat them. It took me a long time to actually put the insect into my mouth but it was actually really good, once you get past what it looks like.

I also realized today why my pancakes and certain breads have not worked. I have been using baking soda instead of baking powder. I finally looked at the box today and realized I had the wrong stuff. I feel this is not a mistake I should be making seeing as I have a chemistry degree. Glad to have an explanation thought because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my pancakes. I thought maybe I just remembered them tasting differently.

I realized also today how much I love the Jessicas. I went over to the younger Jessica’s and just sat there and talked forever. It was really nice and then her mom came and we talked. It is great, I feel really comfortable and happy when I am with them. Also I am not sure yet but I think Jessica might be pregnant. Today she definitely looked it, but I do not know yet. And to be honest not sure if I will know until either she has a baby or it has been longer than 9 months. I will have to start monitoring her weight. Today she totally looked it and then I started wondering maybe she has always been fat. Not sure, going to ask Claire to help me with this.

March 8, 2011

I really think the children are trying to drive me crazy and I have to say they are doing a fine job of it. I woke up to them banging on my door. Then they continued to harass me the entire day. They are unrelenting, it is to the point that in the middle of the day I am on high alert to listen to see if they are in my courtyard. I know I should just shut the door but then I feel really cut off and people from the road will think I am gone. I want people to be able and come to me and talk. Jessica says to put a kanga over the door. I really think the kids would find away to get it and take it down.

I made my last batch of cookies at least for myself today. Tomorrow starts the beginning on no sweets, candy, or pop. Which is going to be really hard, especially because I am going to Dar and down to Iringa for about a week. Luckily lent is over before I get home.

I just finished The cider house rules. I saw the movie awhile back and really liked it. The book and the movie are nothing alike. Why do they do that, name a book and a movie after each other when there is hardly anything the same. Why do the change everything. The book drove me crazy because I couldn’t figure out what was going to happen and then this just got me to thinking why they would change so much stuff in the movie. Obviously the writers already had an idea why do they have to butch the book. I just don’t get it.

I have also decided that I am somewhat scared of the rain. To the point where it dictates what I do. Today it thundered all day and was cloudy, but never rained. This caused me to stay home most of the day because I was afraid I would have to get wet, I think I am also afraid of getting stuck at someone’s house and not being able to leave because it is raining so hard. For some reason I always need the option of leaving when I want to.

I gave cucumber seeds to my neighbor and Jessica today. I told them to plant them in their gardens and then they can just give me one every now and again. This way I will at least get to eat some and not have to be suspicious of the kids.

I made pilau and kachimbaree today it was great. Pilau is a rice, potato, and onion mixed with a type of cinnamon spice and kachimbaree is tomatoes, onions, hot peppers, and lemon juice mixed together. It is awesome.

Jenna and Hannah I just got bit by my first mosquito in my house. I am not happy.

March 9, 2011

As I was walking home from Jessica’s today, I realized that I hardly ever walk on the main road and how bad it was. It is crazy it has only rained about a dozen times, but it has completely killed the road. Soil erosion at its finest. Also they have these birds called kanga’s here. Look them up, they have the weirdest faces. They remind me of the Joker. A little scary.

I spent the day today writing a grant for chickens. It is almost done and I am actually really proud of it so far. I want Claire and Randi to read it before I submit it, so they can tell me what needs to be fixed, but I feel pretty good about it so far. Now I just have to talk the group and come up with a budget, which I think is going to be difficult. I want them to build the bandas and then I will provide 3 chickens to each. Hopefully this goes as planned, but we shall see.

I also find it weird how some days I can be so so bored and then other days so busy. I wish I had more busy days, but at the moment, life is moving on at a pretty good pace. I am finally starting to feel like I am getting somewhere in the village, I feel comfortable in the village (although I still have a problem saying hi to people because it is this long conversation and I also hate interrupting people and talking over people, but that is how they do it here), I get to go to Dar in a week and then to Iringa, and then just a little more time and I get to visit home. Pretty happy at the moment, although I wish my Swahili was a lot better.

Here is a morning conversation with a villager in Kigogo:

Person 1: Mbukweni

Person 2: Mbukwa

Person 1: Msinzila

Person 2: wayla

Person 1: Neye

Person 2: wayla

Person 1: Heya

Person 2: Heya

This is just part of the morning greetings and you are expected to say this to every single person that you see, even when they are in a group. Do you know how much time that takes up and how confusing it is because everyone is expected to say it to everyone. Insane. This is their tribal language of Kigogo and I pretty sure I just butchered the shit out of the spelling, but you get the general idea.

I know that today is Ash Wednesday, but I did not go to church. The ladies asked me why and I finally realized why I don’t really go any more. I do not understand a word of it and the preacher always appears as if he is yelling. Not really my cup of tea. They all thought that was hilarious, especially after I told them too that I just follow what everyone else is doing and day dream. My bebe says that she is going to teach me a hymn in Kigogo which I am kind of excited about because I really enjoy the music. I think I will go to church on Easter though, because I think it will be really cool and everyone is already asking me about it.

March 10, 2011

Today I woke up to the sound of a jembe (hand hoe) and yes it was right outside my door and then I heard “dada, dada” which could only mean that Jesca had got to my house already and was starting to clean the yard. Which compared to everyone else’s, looked in shambles. But it is amazing what 3 hours of work can do for a house. All those overgrown weeds/ grass were cut with a jembe or a knife. I can now say that I have cut grass to the appropriate length with a knife. Why this is every done I have no idea, but it did give me visions of people doing this with scissors but as usual it begs the question why even do that. Just kill it all. I also have new admiration for the lawnmower. So happy you were invented. I got to have an even better look at the garden and it is not pretty, it probably also doesn’t help that I got peanut and weed leaves mixed up. Still not sure if I killed the right one half the time, but you can only ask so many times. I did eat some spinach today which was awesome but I see little coming from my garden except maybe some cowpeas and possibly some peanuts if I did not kill them off.

I then went to old Jessica’s and took a 2 hour detour at anther friends. She kept asking me to stay for lunch and I say no a lot, but she said that she was cooking right then so it was ready. Then we ate 1 ½ later, but it was really good. Although she reminded me of the aunt on My big fat greek wedding because she kept telling me that I must not like her food because I wasn’t eating a lot. But then I got to Jessica’s and she made me eat again. I am still stuffed.

Yesterday as I was walking around I noticed people that I have never seen before and I thought that was weird. I know I am not here all the time but these people were near my house. I thought I was going crazy, then it dawned on me today that they are the student teachers that are here for a month. This made me feel a lot better. But there are another group of people that come to sell food and other things in town and always yell for me. It is really annoying because why would I ever want to talk to a person that can only yell white person white person, even the kids do not do that.

Tomorrow my neighbor is going to run with me. This should be very interesting. Hopefully I do not embarrass myself to much.

March 11, 2011

Sometimes I feel like I might be living an episode of Seinfeld. Today we were suppose to have a meeting at 1 pm and of course this didn’t happen, so at 4 pm we had a separate meeting to talk about the meeting that we were going to have with about 20 people voicing their input. I am pretty sure almost everyone was there too. Again a meeting to discuss the meeting. It is crazy. This also made me miss my chicken meeting which sucked. But luckily we are going to have it tomorrow. I really do not like dealing with the government or people I guess when it comes to meetings. I think on average there are 3 meetings before the meeting actually happens. Maybe God is trying to be funny with the symbolic 3. I don’t know, but it drives me crazy and always messes up my plans.

I always try to not leave anything outside because I know the kids will get it. Today they went after my bottle of bleach. I am still not sure who the culprit is, but I think I will be able to find out after the bleach attacks his clothes. This is also nerve racking though because what if I leave something out that could be really bad for them. Hopefully they learned from this and I remember to take things in, when I am done with them.

Yesterday at Jessica’s we were walking and noticed that some of the corn was missing corn ears were missing but the husks were still there. Apparently the kids were taking from her to. This made me feel better about my garden. Which I have to say, looking at it today, it looked really nice. I swear the sunflowers doubled in size overnight and I have 2 watermelons growing. I hide them in some leaves so hopefully I will get to enjoy at least one of them. I was thinking about making watermelon vodka in memory of St. Pat’s day. We shall see if Claire and Randi are up for it.

Also finished The Zookeepers’s Wife which is a story about the Warsaw Uprising and the Underground. It is about how this zookeepers family lives in Warsaw during WWII and how they helped save people. It is really good.

March 12, 2011

So those frogs in Hawaii are nothing compared to the insect that I killed today. It looked like maybe a giant centipede. It was bigger than one of Joshi’s toy insects. And of course this is the day that no kids were over to help me. OMG. I was scared to death, I could hear it moving in the paper next to my bed. I got a stick and killed it and then of course took a picture of it. I showed my neighbor and she said that it was poisonous and likes moist places. I am not sure I am going to sleep tonight. I have my mosquito net all tucked in and am now wearing sandals around the house. I have already got freak out by my hair tye. I think this is going to be a long night.

I walked out of my house and one of the kids had fallen asleep on my front path. He looked really cute. Although when he is awake, he is usually crying or asking for donuts. Why he thinks I eat donuts everyday is beyond me, especially because I do not think I have ever here.

So I cannot find my wire to charge my phone or any of the adapters to my phone. It is really weird. I always put it in the same spot. I searched the entire house today and found nothing. I do not know if I just misplaced it or the kids snuck in and were able to take that stuff. It seems highly unlikely because really why would they choose that stuff, but I have no idea where it could be. If the kids took it, that is fine what am I going to do. But I would really like to know because I am going crazy trying to think of where I put it.

Talita and me went running together today. I was of course the slow one which should not have been the case because I spent all day at home and she had been at the shamba all day. I do not think I will ever be like a Tanzanian, Tanzanians are machines.

February 17, 2011

I received an email today that there was ammunition fired in Dar today, well it turns out that the military forgot that bombs expire and will apparently detonate. As a result, 12 people are dead and all flights in today were canceled for a bit. Which of course would happen today because Claire’s mom flew in today for her birthday. Claire also said that this has happened 3 times while she has been in country. Isn’t that crazy.

I spent today, trying to make banana bread on the stove which would have worked if the stove would have been light. Minor detail. I also spent most of the day reading about termites and trying to formulate some sort of thoughts for research. Now my head just really, really hurts.

Also I have eaten more passion fruits today than anyone ever should. And stirred the wine. All the important stuff has been taken care of.

Attempted to start translating a children’s story today. I think it is going to take awhile and Claire said it was easy. Very, very jealous of her Swahili.

February 18, 2011

Apparently since I have started running, the villagers think that now I am able to walk to their farms that are really far. This makes me wonder what they think I am capable of and how fat they really think I am. But as of now, Jessica says that I can come to her farm. (this is after weeks of asking and her saying no, it is too far, not sure what changed).

I had my second chicken meeting today, we only started 2 ½ hours later. This is goof by African standards. I started the meeting and Jessica taught about the benefits of keeping chickens. About 9 people showed up, I think this was a really good turnout. Actually more people than I expected, seeing as it rained the day before and most were at their farms.

Claire gave me a kids book in Swahili, so today me and Talita read it together. I might be the worst speaker in the world. Languages are not my strong suit. I told the little girls that I needed to come to school with them, while they learned to read. I think I might be serious too.

February 19, 2011

I do not know what it is about Saturdays, but this is the day that everyone invites me to eat with them. And as hard as I try, I always have to eat. Now as a result I am stuffed more than I ever thought possible. Worse than Aunt Joyce at thanksgiving. So I made some tea to calm my stomach, and realized I do not make very good tea. I really want to learn how to make it with cinnamon, cardamom, etc. Randi makes really good tea so I think I am going to have her teacher me.

I went to old Jessica’s today and learned how to make MaKande. It is a corn and beans dish. It is really easy although I think a lot of work for just one person, so I do not see me making this in the future. We are going to make maandazi (donuts)Tuesday after the shamba which I am really excited about. I also tried to farm with a plough today. OMG it was really hard, my lines were not straight at all. I think I will stick with the tractor.

February 20, 2011

Apparently, getting engaged is the thing to do when I leave the country. I am already up to 4 different people getting engaged and I have not even been away a year yet. Think makes me think that there are a lot more ahead. Han sent me a text this morning telling me that Ashleigh just got engages. Congrats Ashleigh. This also puts my life in perspective more and looking at, at what age I might get married, which seems is a VERY long ways away.

I was a very busy Tanzanian today. I woke up and washed clothes for 4 hours, washed all my dishes, and managed to make both cookies and bagels. I finally broke into the chocolate chips that Han brought here, which I think is both a good and bad thing. I am hoping I can make them last longer than the M and Ms. Not so sure. The cookies turned out really good, although I guess technically I made bars because I think actual cookies would take too long and I don’t own a spatula to scoop them out with. Either way though, they were amazing. But not good because now I am just craving sugar.

I also had another love/hate relationship with all the kids. At the moment we are on the outs. They managed to kill a tomato plant ( the tallest one I have ever seen) today ( I tried to perform emergency surgery on it, but it was a no go) and pull out all my basil leaves. I just don’t understand. They then were trying to get into my house and take my games and magazines while I was in my room. I am not happy at the moment. Again I am taking the magazines off the table, the only problem is they really have no idea that I am made at them .

Tomorrow I start my tour of the Jessica’s shambas. Old Jessica is taking me tomorrow to her farm and then she is going to show me how to make maandazi again, so hopefully I will be able to make them for everyone when I come home. I have tried a few times already, but I think I need a teacher again. Luckily Jessica loves showing me how to cook or at least I think so.

February 21, 2011

I forgot to also tell you that I thought the children stole my rope fence. I was certain of it until today when I looked and there it was stuck in the ground. I feel bad that I thought this, it reminds me of the time that me and Lindsey convinced ourselves Al and Stephi had moved the car at the drive in. This also was not the case. We just don’t have any sense of direction.

I went and helped Jessica plant beans today. For 2 hours I planted. I was so tired when I was done. I could hardly move and then I went to her house and helped her cook breakfast. It was an early morning. And tomorrow is another early morning because I am going with young Jessica to her shamba that is really far. How far you ask, I am not sure yet but I will find out tomorrow.

February 22, 2011

So Jessica finally let me go to the farm with her after months literally of asking. She said it is because I have been running that she thinks I can do it. And she was right. Although it was only an hour walk there carrying the hand hoe. Me one and Jessica one plus a kid on her back and a bucket on her head. We then farmed for 1 hour and returned home. Which was an 1 ½ hour because we had to walk up hill. I was literally dead when we returned home. I slept for like 2 hours. Do not know if I will ever become a machine like these Tanzanian women. While I slept Jessica ground some corn, washed some clothes, made lunch, weeded the garden, and picked leaves to eat for dinner. How can I compete with this.

February 23, 2011

Today I went into town to meet Claire, Randi, and Judith (Claire’s friend from Germany). We were going to celebrate Claire’s birthday, but she got really sick, so me, Randi, and Judith walked around town and did some errands. We went to the district office to get some paper work done and probably had one of the worst office visits in the history of office visits. The man we went to see, made us wait for like 2 hours outside his office and then when he finally said he had time to see us. Spent the next ½ hour on the phone and would only sign the paper but not answer the questions that he needed to because how was he suppose to know what is going on in his office. It was horrible and made me never want to work with him again. I really hope to avoid him in the future. We will see how well this goes. He was so not business like or Tanzanian for that matter. But finally we got that done and made snickerdoodle cookies (why are they called snickerdoodles anyway there is no snickers in them) and climbed the hill behind Claire’s house. It was a really nice day. Tomorrow Randi leaves to run the Mt. Kili marathon. I cannot believe she is going to do this, I wish I could run a marathon but as you know I am worried about a little 5k thus I do not think a marathon is in the near future.

I also talked to Han, stephi, and my mom today. It was really nice to talk to them and got me even more excited to come home. And to see what the cottage looks like. My dad keeps sending me pictures and everytime it is looking more and more different. I cannot wait to see it.

February 25, 2011

Me and Claire went over to her friend Herbert’s and watched a comedy show. I don’t know If I will ever get Tanzanian comedy. I think it is just really different which is weird because I thought I had a really good sense of humor but maybe I am mistaken because so far I do not find the show funny, of course this is after Claire has translated it back into English for me. Also not sure if I am ever going to be able to speak Swahili.

A few stories for you. First my friend was telling me about a witch doctor that used to live in the village when the last volunteer was here, who was going around cutting off the tongues of children, so they killed him and burned his house down. I am then retelling this story to Claire and Randi who then ask if there are any kids with no tongues in the village, and I have no idea. I never even thought about that. Secondly when the kids broke my tomato plant I went into surgery mode and tried to save it, which means that I found a long stick and started to break it, at this point the kids are screaming and running. I couldn’t figure out what was going on and then it hit me, they thought I was breaking the stick so that I could hit them with it. Because they are so used to this at home and even at school. It made me laugh a little and I think I might pretend to do this a little so maybe they will listen better.

I went to a village meeting today which of course started late and lasted forever. What did they want me to do, build them another dam. I was not prepared for this and really had no idea what to say. I just said in my broken Swahili that they needed to write out exactly what they wanted and think about how much they thought it would cost. This way it buys me some time to think if this is even plausible and something that will actual help and benefit the community. I have no idea. It seems like it would increase water, but then I think of all the broke parts of the water system. But then again the water system still does work with all the broken parts. So I guess we shall see where this goes.

3rd chicken meeting and people showed up. It was awesome.

I made a really stupid mistake today that I didn’t realize until it was too late. My neighbor came over to get her plate back and I gave her some of the homemade wine that I made. Afterwords I was thinking about it and I couldn’t remember but I was thinking that I just gave wine to a drunk. Needless to say this was true, she came by later 2 times and asked the same questions and was slurring her words really bad. I totally forgot or didn’t realize until today. I feel really stupid about this. For some reason this also reminds me of Grandpa Preston thinking that people are just happy all the time and not thinking they are drunk. I

guess I just think like Grandpa Preston.

My friend Mary, who is in the same program as me called me today from Cameroon. It was a really nice surprise.

February 26, 2011

So what is worse than seeing a cockroach in the choo??? A 10 inch long millipede. OMG. They gross me out so much. Luckily it ran for it when I put the light on him, but still is it too much to ask that I be left in peace while I go to the bathroom.

I made peanut butter cookies today and they turned out AMAZING. This is like the 4th time that I have made cookies in the last week. This is not going to help me get into shape at all. I kind of feel like Mrs. Deyoung, exercising every morning and then making cookies.

The kids came to the door today to show me a baby bird. At first I freak out because I thought they were caring a around a dead baby bird. It turns out it was still alive at least at this point. It was kind of cool until I thought how it was probably going to die today because it was only a baby. But maybe not.

I made salted sardines today for dinner with ugali. It actually was good. It might become a staple for me because it is really, really cheap to make and has at least a little nutritional value.

FYI: The termites are taking over everything. Every time I kill them and their colony they return. It is exhausting to continually be cleaning the same things over and over. Although I know I should just buy some spray but I am too lazy.

February 27, 2011

Not sure where to start with today. First I would like to say that I have to say hi to everyone in the village so much that apparently I am getting anxiety over it because I am not dreaming of it and waking up to me talking. Do not like where this is headed although this is slightly better than me in Colorado jumping out of bed and thinking I am running after a crying kid. (Jenna do you remember the night of I am Legend)

Anyways Claire came to visit today with Herbert (works with Claire, from Mt Kili area) and Herbert’s sister and brother. They walked all the way here and back. I was amazed that is like 5 hours total. It was great, we just sat around and talked and read old gossip magazines. After they left I went and talked to Jessica and we went to the open market to see what the tomatoes looked like. Well of course there were tons of people and everyone was drinking, I actually tried the pombe this time. It was bamboo pombe. It was alright, not something I am going to start drinking but it was alright. Also as I was walking Claire and everyone out of town I realized how much drinking goes on in my village and it is a LOT.

Not sure how true this is but Claire tells me it is true and she can actually speak Kiswahili so I might kind of believe her. But anyways, she says that a volunteer said that a kid in her village got eaten by a pig. I feel like this story might have some flaws but then I think of the movie I think it is snatch and how if you don’t feed a pig for a while it will eat a human body, so I am not sure what to think.

And actually the most important news I almost forgot. Randi finished the marathon today. She ran the entire time and was still standing when I talked to her. Congrats again. She is amazing, I do not know how she does it, especially because it is really, really, hot.

Oh and someone stole the one thing that was growing in my garden, a watermelon. I am heartbroken, I now have nothing to show for me being a good environment volunteer. I still cannot believe someone took it. It is heart breaking because this also means that anything else that grows is probably going to get taken. Not sure if this is just me or how it works in general yet. But I think I am going to plant things at Jessica’s from now on. Also my bebe told me that someone stole one of her chickens, the village chairman’s chickens, and another person’s chicken this week. It has not been a good week for the village.

But I did make amazing peanut sauce today. I cannot believe how much ginger makes a difference in things. I think I am going to start using it more. It is amazing.

February 28, 2011

So I thought the watermelon was a big deal, today they took my tomatoes that were just babies. I now know that God does not want me to have a garden. I have one more attempt with sweet potatoes so we shall see, if not I am throwing in the towel.

I have a huge love hate relationship with the children in the village, because on one hand they are really fun and are a good source of both entertainment but on the other hand. They are constantly around. I know most of them by now and I am pretty sure I know who is taking my produce, but I don’t think I will ever be able to prove it. I think it is one of the little girls. She is very sneaky, or at least she thinks she is. Also is it bad that I let the kids do my dishes today and sweep my yard. I went to do it and Zali who always helps me told me that she was going to do them all. She is really sweet, she also told me that I could tell the kids “stop and that was enough.” I am such a push over, it took a 10 year to do something that I should be more than capable of. I am really working on this mean/ strict thing and it is really hard.

I also went running in the evening today and now can tell you that I can run faster than a herd of cattle and sheep and that they very kindly move out of the way for you. I also ran past one of the bridges and saw like 40 kids playing in the sand, it was really cool. I think I am going to have to go down there, they were doing some really cool flips and jumps.

As usual I also cooked today and made the most perfect bread yet. I also have been using ginger and it just keeps making everything better.

March 1, 2011

I went running today in the mountains and ran into a pricker bush. My leg now looks like I got in a knife fight. I have no idea how I did this, it is like it came out of nowhere except that it was the only thing in the area. I think I have a depth perception problem. So then I tried to wear pants that would cover it but when I sit down you can see, so all the women have been asking what happened and then they see my arm that I burned on the stove. I think I am falling apart. Jessica also reminded me to use the road.

I went to school today and talked to the teachers. They want me to teach but I don’t want to right now because I know that I could not make every class and I do not think that is good. They also tell me that I need to come around more. I don’t understand it though, they are never in classes. Shouldn’t they be teaching all day and not have time to talk to me. This is just my view, but they should be working.

Me and my neighbor built my first fuel efficient stove today. I am really nervous to see how well it works. It looks good enough but ya never know. I really hope it works out well, so that I can continue to make them in the village. They would really help all the women out and cut down on the trips into the mountain to cut firewood. Thus I hope possibly freeing up some time and energy for other things.

I have to add Lawry’s salt to the list of best spices to use. That on some popcorn might be one of the best things ever.

March 3, 2011

Today started off bad. First I was woken up by a group of girls that wanted to sell me eggs. Which was nice but please can we do after I actually wake up and get out of bed. Then the kids came to play and when I told them it was time to leave, they would not and I had to practically push them out and lock the door. Why are they so hard to deal with some times and then at others are amazing.

I then decided to come into town tonight instead of tomorrow morning. And as soon as I left my house I got a flat. The flat happened in front of a bar full of people that were drinking pombe and I am pretty sure were not feeling anything. Well one of them said he was a Fundi and was going to fix my bike. Which he actually did, but I was skeptical the whole time and am actually still very skeptical about the whole thing. But I did make it into town in one piece, so I cannot complain. Although the entire way here I was thinking omg what if something happens and I don’t make it into town before dark, what am I going to do. But everything turned out fine. And now I Know by what time I need to leave so that I make it into town safely.

Claire and me then went to Herbert’s and had dinner. His sister made this amazing banana dish that is from their tribe it was awesome and I don’t really care for the bananas. Walter (Herbert’s Brother) was also there and we talked about aliens and how he thought they existed and our government was hiding them. He told me I needed to ask Alex because he is in the military. This all cracked me up. So then we looked on the internet. It was a great night.

I love coming into town, except for the mosquitoes.

February 9, 2011

I have not written in what seems like forever and was thinking about this as I biked home this morning. I really like blogging every night which is weird because I have never kept a journal and have despised English class since grade school. But I really enjoy it here, it helps me unwind and it is always good to put your thoughts to paper, helps clear the mind. Kind of like during the homily at church when you are just with your thoughts. I enjoy it. Also all of my friends here find it really weird that I write everything down and don’t admit certain things. I was thinking about it, and I don’t think there is any reason to at least so far because whatever happens I am bound to tell someone in the family (Andrew or Hannah possibly) and we all know how well secrets stay within the family, so I was thinking about it and there really is not point to not always tell everything that is going on. It is also weird but I feel a ton safer within my village, walking around then I do walking from my car to the house at night in GR. I guess this is not saying much for the Westside, but I still love the Westside.

I spent this weekend with Claire and Randi, but also ran into Jake, Paul, and Yue. How does that happen, all the white people end up together all the time. How to is it possible that we always run into each other, we all live in villages and Mpwapwa is not that small. But still every time we run into each other. It was great, we made lots of good food and watched movies. And made WINE. I am really excited, I hope it turns out. I have to call Claire every few days to tell her to stir but other than that it is really easy. We made mango, pineapple which should be awesome. We also made lentil burgers and sweet and sour pork. I live in a good life in town. I also have a new addiction: passion fruit. I ate over 2 kilos in less than 4 days, things are not looking good. The only redeeming factor is that I cannot get them in the village so I will have a break between them. I already have a little rash on my lips from eating to many, they are just so good. (Dad I think you would really like them because they are both sour and sweet at the same time)

In other news, I bought a plane ticket so I am officially home April 28 to May 18. I am really excited. It should be great I will be home for my birthday, Hannah and Lindsey’s graduation and mother’s day and the 5K, things couldn’t be more perfect. It should be great. I was looking at a calendar and realizing it will be here before I know it. Time has been moving at a good speed which is great. Randi, Claire and me were just discussing my mental state a few months ago and it is crazy how time flys and things change. I would never have guessed I would feel this good at the moment. Still plenty frustrated but a million times better. Very thankful for friends and family that helped me get through that time.

I told you how I made posters a few weeks ago about my chicken project and talked to a few groups/ meetings about it. Well guess what, nobody came today. We are going to try for Friday but I am skeptical. I am thinking it is going to be about 1 month before this happens we shall see. It was a little comforting today when Claire called to tell me no one showed up for her English group either. Nice to know it isn’t just me. I was thinking maybe it is my horrible Kiswahili but Claire’s is amazing (that is what you get when you date a TZ, maybe I need to try).

Been thinking a lot about my research at the moment and am thinking termites and soil quality might be really cool. I really don’t want to do farming judging on how things are going this year. I am pretty sure that most of the crops in the village are going to die within the next few weeks if we don’t get any good rain. It has not rained for 1 month so far, a good rain anyways. This Is a little scary because this is what the villagers eat all year, and if there are no crops what do they do. I talked to Randi and people from her village are going to the mountains tomorrow for a rain dance. I am interested to see how that works. And would do anything at the moment to get some rain.

Also went and talked to Jessica today and on the way there ran into a little kid maybe 2 with a razor blade in his hand just hanging out and then at Jessica’s, Paputo (son) was playing with both a knife and trying to light matches. It is so interesting to see how kids live in different parts, I have come to accept some of it, but really why they think this stuff is ok. I usually just look at them and pray they don’t hurt themselves. American mother’s could not handle it hear. There are way to many dangers for their children.

Lately I have been burning myself really bad from cooking. I really hope this stops soon because at this rate, I am going to look like a burned victim all over my arms. And tell me again how the women in this village can spot my new burns everyday from so far away. It takes me forever, how can they see them. I had a huge blister on my finger for hours before I noticed.

Also Randi thinks she has a stomach ulcer. That sounds so horrible. So naturally we looked it up on the internet and as usual it was all over the place. There is never just a mild diagnosis it always goes from nothing to horrible, I don’t think there is anything half way. You either just have a cut or cancer.

Jenna if you are reading this, know that I am not speaking to you at the moment (which is not a problem because I have no service lately) because you would dare go to Steamboat without me. J/K. I am so jealous, you are going have such a great time. I miss skiing so much, even the falling part which as most of you know, I am really, really good at.

One more thing, I went to the seamstress and am having a gown made, I hope it turns out well. Next on my list is a sweatshirt.

February 10, 2011

I played another game of chicken while peeing today with the cockroaches, not matter how used to them I get, I am still going to scream bloody murder if one ever touches me. I am really hoping this never happens. I was also looking in my garden today and noticed a huge hole in the ground, I am praying to God that that is not a snake hole and is just a lizard hole. Again not something I wanted to notice today, I can just picture me walking into my house and a snake slithering by. I probably would have a heart attack from this.

I went to the school today and talked to the head teacher. I didn’t plan on this, I was actually on my way for a run, but started talking to him and he asked if I was interested in teaching. I have been thinking about this a lot and really thought that I didn’t want to at all but then I started thinking about it and I actually think that I want to now, especially since I really don’t do that much in the mornings because everyone is at the farms. So I am considering it, but I think that I would want to teach chemistry or math if that was possible. They talked about life skills but I would rather do math or science.

The rain gods are also tricking us this week as it has looked like it was going to rain for the past few days but so far all we got was a little tease that lasted maybe 10 minutes. I am hoping that is enough though for the crops to hold on a little bit longer. I hear March is a rainy month so if they could just hold on for a few more weeks that would be great.

My neighbor came today to help me with my Swahili and I realized more than ever how horrible it has gotten. I was doing really good, but then I got lax and not it is beyond horrible.

Also made corn pancakes today. I know they sound horrible and they were just as horrible as they sound, but of course I added butter and honey and they were edible. It is really bad that all I was thinking while I ate them was how I wasted an egg on them What has my life come too.

I almost forgot while running today, I tripped at least twice and just barely caught myself. It is going to be a miracle if I live without getting seriously hurt on that mountain. Jessica told me I need to run in the fields but those just are not as fun and there is no shade.

Also my sandal broke today, so I took it to my neighbor to get fixed. The entire time I was thinking this sandal cost me maybe 3000 shillings ($1.50) and I am paying to have this fixed. It kind of puts life in the village in perspective again.

Tomorrow I have a lot going on, so hopefully all goes well and I have the 2 meetings that are suppose to happen. Stay tuned.

February 11. 2011

I awoke bolt upright today because I felt something scurry across my mattress or so I thought. After carefully investigating, I decided that I must have dreamt it. But then I was making my bed and a little lizard came walking across my mattress. OMG. Why can’t animals just stay away from my bed it this really too much to ask.

I think I might have had the second most productive day of my entire service so far. I had 2 meetings today that were actually suppose to happen today. It was a miracle. First I talked to a group about chickens and we set up a weekly meeting where me and people from the area would come and talk about chickens. I know that you are thinking, she knows nothing about chickens, but you are wrong. My professor Blair sent me a bunch of books so I have been reading lots. And I am really hoping people from the community will be teaching more than me. The second meeting was about a few women from the group that make these really nice clay pots to cook with. This also went great and I think they are going to begin selling them in town. Which is awesome because it gives them hopefully another source of income.

So you know how I have said that it hasn’t been raining here well apparently in the next village over, some of the villagers that are into witchcraft got together and did a sacrifice. The sacrifice for rain was an old man. Can you believe this and apparently the old man said it was ok. I know all types of people exist, but I really thought the sacrifice of humans ended a long time ago. Apparently not.

I also again today was brought back to reality when I handed a signup sheet to 3 women and none of them could even write their own name. I am ashamed at how fast I forget things like the fact that most of the elders and old women are not educated. I forget because Jessica although only finishing primary school is amazing. It is so sad. I also just found out that only half of the form 4 (senior year) students in the country passed their final exams and are allowed to move on to university. This means only for my village only 5 students passed. One that can move on to possible university in the future and the rest can be teachers. The educational system has a lot of work to do.

February 12, 2011

I think I have finally figured out why I hardly ever sleep through the night and am always half listening for someone. I have decided it is because when I am actually in a dead sleep. These are the times that people choose to come and greet me. Let’s say at 5 in the morning. That is reasonable right. I want this greeting through the window to stop but not sure how it can yet. Also people are starting to get mad that I am not greeting them right away. How do I explain that yes I am going to great them but I was waiting for my companion to finish before I started. Apparently talking over each other and budging in is ok and suppose to be done. It drives me nuts. I hate interrupting people.

I went to my first funeral today. I went to Jesca’s and she asked if I wanted to go to the funeral. I said why not. The funeral was held at the house. The women and the men sit separately around the yard. The women all have a kanga on the bottom and top half of them, luckily Jesca let me borrow her clothes for this. Then small group by small group the women greet the family and give condolences. And everyone eats. It is really weird because it is not somber like the funerals that I have been too. Everyone is just talking and hanging out. I didn’t really know what to do or say. So I just stood really awkward.

I think I have figured out why I do not understand anyone. They are all speaking Kigogo. Why do they keep insisting on speaking Kigogo to me when they know I am going to just give them a dumbfounded look.

Also I think you can let bread rise to long. I left it for about 8 hours and it smells a little weird. Of course I am still going to eat the bread, but I wouldn’t offer this to anyone else.

February 13, 2011

As I was walking home today from J2 I was thinking how I had a wonderful day and was really happy. Then I started to think that I am starting to enjoy somewhat being here. Although not all the time, I really enjoy the company of the village and everyone is so nice. I am not going to lie though it is just too hot here. When the sun is out I cannot think of doing anything luckily I hear June and July are cold.

It rained today for 3 hours it was awesome and it cooled off to where I had a blanket on and was able to drink chai. I loved it, but then it got me to thinking about how I will feel about the cold weather when I get home. I think I am going to get cold really fast now.

I started my day by running for 30 minutes. It was great and I actually feel good, not like I am going to die. I am hoping to make this a normal part of my day. I think it helps me get out of the house, greet people, and get some exercise in. The only problem is how early I have to wake up.

Jessica taught me how to make the equivalent of cornnuts. They were really good but I really wanted them to be BBQ or ranch flavored. These are now on the list of things I want to eat when I get home. But they were really good and really easy, so I think I will try and make them as a snack.

I was also thinking how totally normal it is now to share a plate of food with a group of people. Us all dipping the ugali in the different sauces. I think George Kastanza (Seinfeld, if you didn’t know) would have a problem with this. Although I don’t think anyone actually double dips.

February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine’s Day!! I almost forgot about today, but Claire texted me. You would never know from the dukas and everything that today was Valentine’s day, although Jessica did tell me that she heard something about it on the radio. I wish I had some candy hearts to eat today, Oh well.

Do you know where your water comes from? I can now say that I know exactly. It is approximately a 1.5 hour bike ride across god knows how many different mountains and up some more hills. It was like a never ended climb. I am also ashamed to say that while I was dying, the mzee (old man) that was showing me does this 2 times a week. And I think he is like 70 something. How can he do this. But we finally arrived at the water source. It is pretty cool, it is a serious of dams that catch the runoff water from the mountains. I am really amazed at it and even more amazed how they were able to build a pipeline from the source to the village. It is really impressive. Also I have to say how it is amazing how you can take one way to get somewhere and then a completely different way back. I have no idea how, but we ended up in Mpwapwa town, so we took the road back which was great because I am pretty sure that I would have died otherwise.

I had not yet ripe peanuts today. I am not sure yet what I think of them. They have a very interesting taste. I also think I might start cooking sardines. At first I thought they were gross but I am starting to crave a lot of salt and they are very salty. The verdict is still out if I will start eating them.

February 15, 2011

Apparently I am trying to kill myself this week. If biking through the mountains was not enough for me, I decided I would help my bebe on the farm. We left and after a 45 minute walk arrived at the farm. We then spent the next three hours straight weeding the garden. I can now tell the difference between corn, sorghum, peanuts, watermelon, and pumpkin. It was really nerve racking because the crops are still young, I did not want to accidently weed the crops. After this we returned home, where I was unable to move for the next few hours. My back is killing me, I am SO grateful for tractors and modern technology, this experience gave me a whole new perspective on fertilizers. But it was fun and it defiantly helped my Swahili. I have learned that I just need to spend lots and lots of time with people to better my Swahili although I still pretend to understand a lot because you can only ask them to repeat so many times. I am still having trouble though with people talking to me in Gogo, I understand this is their first language, but I only know the basics, please give me a break and speak Swahili.

I again made bread today and it was actually descent. I am attempting everything on kerosene because I really hate starting the charcoal so it has been a long process and still is not quite there, but it is getting there.

I think the weather is on the verge of changing again. It has been overcast the last few days and is starting to be brisk. I even got to make tea today which was awesome, I look forward to this new weather, although it is not good for cleaning clothes. I also washed my feet today for like 20 minutes, the amount of mud that can cake themselves on my feet is unbelievable. I do not know if I will ever be clean here. I have a feeling when I return home and get off the plane people are going to stare because I am so dirty. I have a huge fear of this.

I have started Swahili lessons with my neighbor and every time I am dreading them because it is so late and I really just want to go to bed, but then I am pleasantly surprised when I enjoy them. And they are really good for me because I can tell her to talk slower and ask lots of questions and not worry about if she is thinking that I am stupid or not. I am realizing now that I can understand most of the words that are being said but I am unable to translate them fast enough into English so that I can understand them completely. They just talk so freakin fast.

Going to visit Claire tomorrow. I am really excited. I love hanging out with her. Hopefully we will go visit my favorite Chapati(bread) lady. And I think we are going to climb the hill in town for some much needed exercise. Maybe I will even have some mail tomorrow. Lots to look forward too.

February 16, 2011

Not sure what it is, but I think my villagers have a six sense when they know I want to head into town early. This morning was no exception. I got up early to head into town before the sun beat down on me and then as I am brushing my teeth, I can hear the jembe at work outside my house. Apparently today was the day that we were going to replant my garden. So now I have a brand new garden full of corn and sunflowers. We shall see how this works out. I have my doubts seeing as I do not see a lot of rain in my future. But I might be wrong.

Then as I am biking through town today, I was thinking, I wonder if the kids and all the people seeing my will ever get old. In maybe a year will I stop hearing “Mzungu or Good Morning Teacher” as I bike in. I am hoping that this will happen because it would make the ride so much more enjoyable, but I really don’t see this happening, judging by the fact that the kids in my village still freak out every time they see me and run all the way to me to give me high fives. ( and yes I have become that girl that gives everyone high fives)

January 30, 2011

I went to Dodoma this weekend and had a great time. I went with bunch of friends: Claire, Paul, Tanya, and Jake and then ran into a bunch more when we got there. It was so much fun, we just hung out, ate really good food, and watched movies. I even bought some fabric to make a dress. Now I just wonder how long it will take before I decide to actually go to the seamstress. I really like the fabric and I don’t want them to mess it up.

One bus ride home it was packed, so packed the police actually made all the people standing get off at one point and then I think a bribe might have happened and all the people got right back on the bus. This is my first encounter with a bribe that I was aware of the situation. I was also thinking that I wonder if Guinness Book of World Records have ever come to TZ to see how many people can fit in a car because they are really good at packing people in.

I splurged and bought cheese this week, so me and Claire had cheese sandwiches tonight. They were awesome, as usual.

January 31, 2011

Three Weeks of frustration finally ended today, I finally had my meeting, not in the exact way I wanted but at least people came. It was great me and Jessica got to talk and I am hoping this is a glimpse of the months to come. Also I planted a garden with the women’s group in front of my house. It went awesome, with me not doing anything and Jessica teaching them. (this is how it is suppose to be) It was so great and all the women seemed at least really interested. We are going to plant a few more gardens so hopefully they turn out. I also used the jembe (hoe) a little and all the women thought that was funny and then told me that I could stop. They don’t think I can do anything because in American, machines do everything they say. So things are finally starting to turn around and I actually feel needed a little, well at least today anyway.

Also I have been thinking we I get back to the US I am going to have to break some things that I have noticed I have acquired while here. First it is culturally appropriate to pick your nose and I find myself doing this around a group of people. I don’t know why I do this, especially too because I find it disgusting, especially because they always pick their nose and then want to shake your hand. AAHHH It is so gross. Also I think I will be starting to state the obvious a lot. Here everyone asks what I am doing such as “You are going to town or you are carrying water” (this is when I have water on my head). I find it annoying and yet I ask these very same questions to the villagers. Another one is just saying “hiya” to everything and grunting in some form for an answer or acknowledgment. I think it is going to be very interesting when I return.

I lost one of my nalgen bottles which is really sad because I have had it for over 1 ½ years and was just thinking how cool it would be if I kept it until I returned. NEVER think thoughts like this or you are bound to lose it, which I did. We tried retracing my steps but nothing, most looked at me weird when I asked if they had seen a water bottle until Claire informed me that they are probably thinking of the cheap water bottles that you get water in. Luckily I brought another one, but of course the women of the village never miss a beat and with in 1 minute of seeing me and my new bottle they were wondering what happened to the old one.

Passion fruit might be my favorite fruit of all time. Also Aunt Marti informed me that yeast needs to be mixed with warm water, not hot. This might explain the period of bad bread. I am learning so much here about stuff that I should know it is ridiculous. Also a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter like why is it better to put bread in the fridge. One student asked how many presidents the US has had and I am ashamed to say that I have no clue. I know I knew at one time, but not now. Mrs. Choffel would not be proud right now.

Hannah called today and somehow we started talking about me and Andrew and it was really funny. Because he has the crazy personality and I am the more reserved, quiet one yet we live the complete opposite lives. It is weird how that happens. I also skyped with Stephi, Colin, and Alex together. That was so much fun. Those three crack me up. I love hearing about their adventures, it makes me miss college and actually just having a beer. It is not the same here. I just don’t feel relaxed here. I am always on some type of guard.

February 1, 2011

Exciting news, I got approved for my vacation which means that I get to buy a plane ticket soon. Yay. So get excited. I also made a calendar to keep me motivated to work out, so tomorrow I start in preparation for maybe a 10K I don’t know. Something to just get me started, I really want to do a half marathon but I don’t think I can do it yet, maybe next year I can do the Kili half.

Not too much happened today. I talked to my neighbor and she is going to start teaching me Swahili once a week and we are going to make a fuel-efficent stove together. I spent a lot of today reading and trying to figure out some homework stuff as well as what I want to accomplish this week.

Tomorrow is Jessica’s sons birthday, so I am going to make a chocolate cake for him. I hope it turns out.

February 2, 2011

So I attempted to make a chocolate cake today. It might be the worst thing that I have made to date. And if that was not bad enough, I even tried frosting which didn’t work either. But I was able to turn the frosting into no bake cookies, luckily. Another bad day for cooking. Oh well. But then I got 2 free meals today so that made up for it. J2 made me dinner and then my neighbor brought me some macande which is a corn and bean mixture. It was awesome. It takes all day to cook, so I have never made it, but it is delicious.

I just finished “the art of racing in the rain.” It is a book about a family from the perspective of the dog. It is both really cute and really sad. It also reminds me of Bailey dog a lot. (aunt Diane and aunt Tricia not sure if you should read it) Aunt Tricia it might remind you of Harrison, although not me because for some reason Harrison scared me to death. All I can remember about him is that he liked cheese singles and was always locked in the kitchen on 9th st. And it also makes me want to get a dog really bad when I get back.

I am having the hardest time waking up in the mornings which is both a good and bad thing. I went to go running this morning and it was already too hot, so I decided to do some pilates and then go for a walk and take some pictures of the soil erosion in the area. I am so out of shape. My body just aches today.

I planted my herb garden today, so we shall see how that goes. I think we are on week 3 of no rain. I thought this was supposed to be the rainy season. This is not good. I also stepped on a thorn bush today. They have thorn bushed everywhere and when you step on them it is like having many nails go through your foot. It is not pleasant.

February 3, 2011

I went running this morning. It is amazing what a calendar can do for a person. I was laying in bed trying to decide when to go running, in the morning or at night and for some reason because it said on the calendar, I had to get it done with so that I could cross it off. It was really nice too. It felt good to be running, although I could hardly move when I returned home. Luckily I have little to do during the day, so I spent a bit just laying down.

I attempted to talk to some women today about selling their clay pots in town. It was a no go as everyone is at the farm. The village is so quiet, there is hardly anyone here except the children, who I am avoiding at the moment. I am still not over the stealing of my bread dough or my magazines. Soon enough I am sure they will all return, but I am enjoying not having them around.

I went to the duka and put up some poster’s about my chicken meeting today. We shall see if they stay up or get torn down. I cannot remember if I told you, but I out 2 posters up on my door about the projects I am starting and the chicken meeting. And on my return, it was all gone. Now why would anyone take my posters. I was really hoping that they stayed because I thought that would be a good way for the village to see what I am doing and a lot of people walk by my house on their way places, but apparently this is not going to happen. The duka’s will do though I think.

I am also ashamed to say that I didn’t throw the chocolate cake away and ate it with peanut butter. It was actually not bad with peanut butter. I just didn’t want to waste it or find the kids eating it later. So I ate it, which I still am not sure why. It really was not good.

In Dodoma, they have a new restaurant that serves hamburgers and I am craving one right now. I cannot wait to go back, the food is really good. I also cannot wait to eat a big mac. I know they are horrible for you, but they taste so good.

I am also sad to admit that apparently chameleons are seen as insects here and should therefore die. I was walking and asked the kids what they were doing and they said that they were killing bugs. This would explain why I never see any cool things, they kill them all. I also thought a pack of dogs was going to attack me today. I have never been scared or threatened by dogs but today I really thought they were going to get me. Luckily they didn’t.

I forgot to mention when I was coming home from Dodoma, I witnessed my first flat out corruption. In TZ it is illegal to stand on the bus but the people usually just pay a fine and then go on their way. This time, the police made all the people standing get off the bus and then everyone (standing and sitting) was going to have to go down to the police station and then miraculously everything was forgiven and we went on our merry way. Very Interesting.

January 20, 2011

I cannot tell you how much fun I had this last time that I went into town. It was so much fun. Randi, Claire, and me just hung out, made amazing food, and watched chick flicks. It is really weird because when I am at Claire’s house I don’t feel like I am in Africa, I feel like I am at college. We all just sit around and talk while we are all doing our work. It is so much fun. They are the best, I couldn’t of asked for better people to be placed with. We get along great and have a lot of fun together. We made sushi with salmon, caramel corn, bagels with rosemary, salsa and ate it with the tortilla chips that Jenna carried all the way over here from the US, and crepes with vegetables. I have to say it was some of the best homemade food ever. I am trying to think of fun food to make when we all go into town because it is so much fun to make food together and eat it. I hate taking the time when it is just me, so it is really nice when I am with people. Tell me if you guys have any ideas for food that I could cook here.

I felt like I somewhat accomplished things, I was able to catch up on all my emails, send out some letters, talk to offices that I have been trying to talk to you, and read some more research papers. My professor Blair also sent me some books about livestock which was awesome so me and Randi looked at this for a while. Claire thinks we are nuts, why would we ever want to have a pet pig or goat. Every time we see one she reminds us that they are going to grow. I don’t think she has to worry, I really want one, but I don’t think I want to spend the money on it or have to ask someone to take care of it when I am not around. But I still might cave one of these days.

I came home and went and a talked to a member of my government to talk about possible projects, only to find out that our water is seriously having problems. People have stopped paying the 500shs each month and as a result there is no money to fix the water taps. Which is just great because the 2 taps nearest me are both broken. I am not sure what the community thinks of this yet, as they have lots of water at the moment due to the rains. If this is not addressed though, we are going to have water problems even more than normal. Oh the joys of living in Africa.

I also went to a meeting to again find no one there. This one does and doesn’t make me made because I didn’t really want to go. And all I had to tell them was that I might be able to help them later on, but at the moment I am focusing on these certain projects. But this did get me to thinking that I really, really need to have a talk with people about time management and what I expect. Because these I think are one my biggest frustrations which in turn lead me into bad moods and then they just spiral from there. So hopefully we can work this out.

I came back to see J1 starting to weed my garden. I was yelling at her, but she just kept doing it. I have so blessed to have such an amazing friend, she really is just like my mom and sisters rolled into one. Of course she told me that I didn’t know how to farm because tractors do it for me. So she and all the neighbors came over to show me. I don’t think I impressed them at all. I think it might just be me, but I don’t have a problem how people get rid of weeds as long as there gone. But with everyone there was definitely a right and wrong way and I was definitely doing it wrong. So I think I need to practice a lot. Luckily I have lots more weeding to do.

While I wrote this, I had the same bug attack me like 15 times. How did he keep finding me after I kept trying to kill him. He is dead now. Also saw a scorpion today in the garden, killed that as well. And I did see a really cool yellow bug. I need to get a insect book, it would be interesting to see what types of insects are found here.

The goal this week is to get some sort of research proposal going or to at least get some ideas onto paper. Wish me luck.

I also talked to my mom and Andrew this week. It was really great, especially because I have not had a chance to talk to them since before the holidays. It was really nice to catch up. Andrew is auditing a class at Northwestern and is starting a new job in the next few weeks. I am so proud on him, this is good too because it means at least one of us is going to be successful. Also my mom and dad have been redoing the cottage and send me updates. OMG it already looks so different. I cannot wait to see it in person. It is going to be like a whole new cottage.

January 21, 2011

I have been waking up pretty late lately. I just cannot seem to get myself out of bed, I am so comfortable and I since everyone leaves really early for their farms, it is so quiet I can actually sleep. I love it. It is funny though every morning J1 greets me on the way to her farm through my window. This is at like 6 in the morning. It reminds me that I am living on top of everyone, both a comfort and a burden.

So I finally got up and decided to start cleaning only to find out that termites had set up residence in my floor mat. It was unreal how far they had got in a matter of days. So it took me awhile to get that all cleaned up, especially because that meant that I couldn’t put off mopping. Then I did some laundry. I still cannot believe how fast everything gets dirty.

The WEO (ward executive officer) then came over and we went and looked at some more water pipes. Only to help me realize even more that water is going to be a big issue. I don’t think there is a single tap that is not broken in some way and no one seems to care at the moment which sucks because after the rains come we are going to have a huge problem. I really hope they can get their act together before then because I don’t want to have to go to town to get water or pay to have it brought to me. I really think in the current state this could become a reality, but I hope I am wrong.

After dinner, I was invited to a neighbor’s house to pray together before bed. It was kind of cool, the dad sang and then everyone else sang. It was defiantly different than my usual Hail Mary or Our Father. I find it so interesting the amount of singing and dancing that are done together in Church here compared to home.

I also made popcorn with Lawry’s salt. So good, it reminds me of movie nights at home.

January 22, 2011

As is becoming my norm, I woke up again really late today. My villagers must think I am so lazy now. But then I read a book, did some laundry, and made biscuits that I didn’t cook all the way through. Not too much exciting happened today, all the kids came over as usual and we read magazines. I then did a little weeding in the garden and fixed my water filter. A pretty boring day, I also made another meeting with my village government so hopefully this time the meeting will actually happen, we shall see.

I have been trying for the last 2 months to go the farm with J1. And she continues to tell me she isn’t going or it is too far. Hopefully by the end of the season, she will let me go with her.

I watched some of the boys playing cards today. I still am not sure how exactly to play but it looks close to UNO. I am hopefully going to learn it and be able to play with them. They wanted me to learn today but I didn’t have my dictionary and was actually really tired from all the kids today. It is amazing how tired one can get even when they are doing nothing.

My Swahili is getting worse by the day. I really need to work on this, but I get so comfortable in my bubble of a village where everyone understands me or at least knows what I am trying to say. I really need to start studying again. Even J1 said that my Swahili is getting bad. It doesn’t help that Claire and Paul came here and they are amazing at it, but it still could be a lot better. I have lived here for 6 months are should be better than I am. Luckily I can still get the point across even if it is like nails on the chalk board for whoever I am talking to.

January 23, 2011

Again I did nothing today, but it was really nice. I didn’t let the children into my house until the afternoon so I had a nice morning where I just read my book and drank tea. I also worked on my homework a little. Still not sure where to go but Blair suggested just start trying to write something and see where it goes. Smart man. I feel a little better now, but I know I still have a long way to go.

I started running today if you can call it that. I ran for 15 minutes and it was horrible. I think my body forgot how to run, not that I was any good at it before. My legs were all jelloy like on Run Fat Boy Run. I am really lucky stairs do not exist in my village. The kids got a kick out of me running and stretching. I am starting to get used to this being laughed at and stared at all the time.

I am reading Three Cups of Tea right now. Again everyone loves this book, but so far I cannot see it. Hopefully that changes.

Oh yeah and I think I broke my ipod. The verdict is still out, but this would happen because Han just left. Luckily I brought my iriver too, so hopefully that still works. Not sure how it broke but all it will do now is beep. This cannot be a good sign. If anyone knows how to fix it, email me because I really liked the music on it.

January 24, 2011

So much happened today I am not sure where to begin. As usual, I did not have my meeting, so now I am cutting the government out of my plans which is fine, it would have been nice to have them with me but it is just too much of a hassle. But because I didn’t have this meeting this morning, it spiraled me into a horrible state. I was wanted to get out of here so bad. I am just so sick of all of this. I know that I am not going to make a huge difference here but at the same time, please give me the time that I deserve. I really need the bullshitting to stop. This is one of the first things that will be addressed if a meeting every happens. I also really hate how my mood can change so fast. It freaks me out, this has never happened to me before. I think it is a mixture of being here and taking malaria medications. So instead of malaria, I have horrible mood swings and sleepless nights. I think I would rather have malaria.

I finally got back on track and did some reading and tried to prepare to have my first meeting with the village to talk about chickens. Hopefully this goes better than the village government meetings.

Someone told me that if you boil water and beans together and put it in a thermos over night the beans will be done in the morning. This is definitely not true. Which is really sad because this would have saved me so much work, time, and fuel. This also means that I will be eating less beans. But I still get protein by way of peanuts and peanut butter.

I also ran again today, I am making a calendar tonight and taping it to my door to help me stay on track. All my muscles really hurt, I am so out of shape it is embarrassing.

And I washed my hair today and used conditioner, I forgot how wonderful conditioner is. I am also trying to have better hygiene out in the village. Not that it was bad before, but it definitely could be better. WE might even try a shower everyday now that I have a huge surplus of water.

January 25, 2011

As usual I am really frustrated. Only this time it is almost all my own doing. Earlier this week, a baba came to me and said he wanted me to pray with his family every night. I said that I would do it like once a week, but somehow I got pulled into every night. Which I have been meaning to talk to the baba about, but as usual I put it off. I missed one night and they thought I had some big problem so I went tonight because I still have yet to have the conversation with him and he wasn’t there. Here I tried to do as I say and what happens I could totally have just stayed home. Instead I went to his house and his kids asked me a thousand questions and one of the girls talked smack on me. Of course I didn’t hear everything, but I heard enough to hear one of her brother’s say that she can understand you (me). Oh and I also told them that we don’t have banana is the US. They asked all these questions about my house but when I think of my house, I think of Tanzania now so when I was asked about banana’s. I said no because she said “do you have banana’s at your house.” And of course I was thinking, god your asking me for stuff already. Only to realize she was wondering about the US. But at this point I didn’t feel like correcting myself. From this I have come to 2 conclusions: First I am starting Swahili lessons 2 times a week again so that I understand everything that is being said and not just the jist and secondly I am just going to be blunt with people from now on. Forget culturally appropriate if they are going to be rude to me, I have no problem being rude back.

Also I helped a neighbor with her English homework today. And realized even more how bad the school systems are here. The homework was terrible, I even had a hard time doing it and it should have been preschool work. How do they expect the kids to learn if the teachers cannot even teach. I am very happy not to be teacher right now, but I am really sad too because how are they suppose to learn if the teachers don’t even know the material. I am very happy that I have received the education that I have. I know I take it for granted but I am reminded a lot here of what I have and don’t have.

Reading The Girl who Played with Fire right now and mom you are right, it is really good. I am having a hard time doing anything else. Which luckily isn’t a problem because I have hardly anything to do until I have my meetings. I also went running again today. I cannot decide which I should try and train for yet the 25K, 10K, or the 5K. I know I have all this time but I honestly don’t know if I could finish a 25 or 10K even if I did train for it. I am going to look at work out plans this weekend and make a decision. I am also going to talk to my friend Randi about it. (she runs every day and is running the Mt. Kili marathon in Feb, she is insane) I am also really lazy still, cannot seem to get up early but the last 2 days one of the mama’s has come to my door really early to get her phone charged so I think I might need to start getting up a little earlier or at least get up and open my doors so it appears that I got up.

Also I looked up today while cooking and met a new friend. I now have conformation that a bat does live in my house. Not too happy about this. I know he is harmless but I still cannot get pictures of him attacking me and biting me out of my head. I know this will never happen it is right up there with sharks attacking in a pool (James Bond anyone? Stephi you’ll get this if you read this). I know it will never happen, but the mind plays weird tricks, especially when you live by yourself in a third world country.

Cell phone is going crazy as well. Very nerve racking, I keep trying to use it, but I have no network in places that I have always had it.

January 26, 2011

I am sitting in my bed minding my own business reading a book when a cockroach comes flying towards me and lands on my pillow. I freaked out and hit it with the flashlight and it flew off my bed but where I am still not sure. I didn’t know cockroaches could even fly, I knew they had wings but I had never actually seen one fly. This is also one of the first cockroaches that I have seen alive. Usually there dead on their backs or I see parts of them that fell off as the lizards were trying to eat it. I hate cockroaches so much.

I was in the cooking mood today and attempted to make oatmeal bread. I was lazy and used the yeast that I bought last week instead of going to the duka to buy more and because of that one point my bread sucked. I am still eating it but it didn’t really rise. Also I put it in the sun to rise and was inside finishing The girl who played with fire (awesome book, I really want to read the last one now) and the kids came without me hearing and they took some of my dough to eat. I could have screamed. I am so happy to be leaving for a few days tomorrow. These kids are driving me nuts. Yesterday they were throwing rocks at my roof while I was in the shower and today they were stealing my dough. And what is even more frustrating is I lack the skills to properly yell at them. All I had to say to them the last few days is “I saw you do that” and “ I dislike”. I really need to work on my language skills. So in retaliation I am not letting them look at any of my magazines or play any of my games. We will see how long it takes before I finally give in, but these kids are walking all over me. And the sad part is that I let them.

January 27, 2011

I again spent another day not having a meeting. I cannot even believe this. But for some reason, this did not bother me as much as not having the last meeting. The only think that sucks is I went in to the office in the morning to make sure it was still on and they said yes. So I did nothing for the whole day except prepare and read. I have now almost finished the Kite Runner.

Other than that not to much is new. Although I did get eaten by mosquitoes really bad last night. To the point that I didn’t even sleep. It has been a long time since a night without sleep. I am not sure if it was the actual mosquitoes or just the sound of them buzzing in my ears that makes me live in fear, but something does.

December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!! After days of trying to figure out where Hannah was we arrived in Iringa to go to Ruaha National Park. But of course Hannah called the minute we arrived at the nicer hotel and me and Jenna were attempting to go snorkeling. She was just lucky that it was starting to rain. So we picked up Hannah and began our vacation.

We saw some SWEET animals today, which is good considering Hannah and Jenna have been in country less than 1 week and saw all the animals on the way to Iringa and I slept the entire ride through Mikumi National Park. (this is an 8-10 hour ride, with 1 hour in the park) So anyways we saw: Impala, Elephants, waterbuck, Hippo, Lions, Giraffe, Crocodiles, zebras, and lots of really cool birds that I cannot remember the names of. Cannot wait until tomorrow. And now we are staying at the coolest hotel ever, I feel extremely rich. We have our own cottage on the river with the coolest bathroom/ shower ever. (don’t worry, we took lots of pictures)

January 9, 2011

So I have been on a whirlwind for the last month and a half. First I went to seminar in Morrogorro and got to hang out with all of my friends for 2 whole weeks and then Hannah and Jenna came to visit. After that a girl whose parents both served in PC came and stayed with me for a little bit and now I am back in the village by myself. (not sure how I feel about this yet)

Seminar was great, although when I first got there I was really overwhelmed because I went from not having a single person to hang out with, to 40 different people to hang out with along with electricity and internet. It was so overwhelming. It was great though, every day we went to seminar from 8 to 5 and then we got to do whatever we wanted. I ate a lot of really good food. Lots of pizza.

I came home one night to our house flooded because a tap was left open. (they periodically turned the water off, so you never knew if the water was on or not) this also left my room a disaster zone, especially because I left a lot of books on the floor. I then was walking home one night with 2 friends and one of them got robbed. It sucked, never even saw it coming. The guy just grabbed her purse which was around her wrist and ran. One lucky guy, he got 2

phones and a camera.

After seminar, Hannah and Jenna came to visit which was awesome. More awesome after Han actually got here. The weather seemed to be a large inconvenience for me. But she finally got here and we were able to start our vacation. After Han got here we boarded a bus and went to Iringa which is a 10 hour bus ride with a little stretch through Mikumi National Park. I slept most of the ride but Jenna and Han stayed up and saw all kinds of animals. (it figures that I have been in country for 6 months and have seen none, while they have been here 2 days and have already seen them all. They thought that was hilarious) We spent a day walking around Iringa before going on safari. It was awesome, we then stayed in the park for Christmas Eve and it was great. We ate dinner in a tree house and had hippos eating dinner outside our little cottage. Jenna thought this was awesome, me and han opted for bed instead. The next morning we also walked by a hippo. He was really close, only to find out later that a park ranger was killed by a hippo in a walking tour the a few weeks ago. Good thing we choose a car. We saw lots of cool animals. We saw lion, lions eating hippos, crocodiles, giraffes, zebras, ostriches, hippos, elephants, lots of birds and lizards, and tons of Impala. (impala are like the buffalo of Yellowstone) After safari, where somewhere along the way Jenna gained a friend in the form of a tick we headed to my village. It was a little weird being back especially knowing that I was going to be leaving right away again, but everyone was awesome and really happy to see me. I showed them around my village and they met all the villagers and children. They also learned to cook ugali, eat with their hands, use a choo, wash clothes with their hands, carry water on their heads, and wear traditional African clothing. They said they loved it and thought my house and everything was a lot better than I was saying. I still stand by my words, especially since they were only here a few days, After my village, we headed back to Dar for some beach time. It was awesome. We stayed at a great place that had an amazing view and great food. We went snorkeling and I am sad to say I didn’t enjoy it all the way. I swallowed more salt water than I think I have ever in my life. I did see some cool fish but I think I liked it better in Hawaii. I also think I might actually really enjoy snorkeling in Little Whitefish lake the best. (who would have thought that) We did see a turkey fish, which was really cool. But it was still really fun. It is amazing how intense the sun is, I think we used more sunscreen in a few days than we use all year in Michigan. It was a great trip, I had so much fun hanging out with Jenna and Hannah. Having Jenna around made me ask myself again why I ever left steamboat, I think this a question that will be asked the rest of my life.

You will be happy to know that between all of us, we took over 1000 pictures, most of them being Jennas. It is also interesting because depending on whose pictures you are looking at, it looks like only 2 of us went on vacation. I will try and put the pictures up soon.

Sorry this is pretty much word vomit, there is just too much to say at the moment.

January 10, 2011

I still have lots more to tell you. I guess I should start with when I arrived home the story that the children in my village told me after I asked about a car that was driving through the village. Cars drive by on the main road fairly regularly but this car was driving on the foot path. So this is the story and before I begin, I am fine. On Dec.31 at around dusk my neighbor went to the store that is like 100 feet from her house to buy something. She didn’t lock her door but made sure that it was latched. She returned to find that it was open and that a thief was in her house. She yelled and a neighbor came with his machete and hit the thief in the neck, back, arm, and leg. The thief was then taken to the hospital where he died a few days later. The thief was a guy from our village, who I think I bought charcoal from. He lived next to my friend Jessica. Although this is a horrible story, I think that this is also a good thing because it tells would be thieves to not FUCK with my neighborhood. (sorry for the language) I still feel very safe in my house and everything, I always lock my doors and shut them when I leave to go into the village and at dusk. The only thing I do not understand about this, is why did nobody touch my house or try and get in. I have been gone off and on for like the last 1, I just don’t understand. I am very, very thankful that this did not happen to me, if this would have, I am pretty sure that I would either be on a plane home right now or living with a family in the village. Also you can tell life is just different here because everyone talks about the incident as if they are saying what they just had for dinner. There is no emotions or anything, it is very matter a fact.

But again, everything is fine, so don’t worry. Although I have to say I am a little jumpy more than normal sometimes now. I now have a bat to add to my household friends as well as a few sparrows that make lots of noise on my roof to the point that you might actually start to believe a person is on my roof. I also found out today that I am home to a few nests of wasps. The worst thing about this, is that I just cleaned and now I have to get all the nests down which means more cleaning.

Han brought me some m and m’s. I opened the bag today and am happy to announce that I have not eaten the entire bag yet. I am hopping I can make it last at least a few days if not a week.

Also reading a James Patterson book that Aunt Diane gave to me. It is really good. I have never read any of his stuff before, but I really like it.

I have a meeting with the government tomorrow to go over my seminar and possible projects, I am interested to see how this goes. I have also realized that I am not going to be able to do all the projects that I was hoping to do. There just is not enough time.

January 11, 2011

As usual I got up early this morning to meet with a villager only to have him come 2 hours later. Oh how I love it when people are late, especially when I get up extra early. Anyways I went with him to his house to help him plant trees only to find out that he didn’t get the trees yet. Did I mention that he lives an hour away by bike. So I am at his house and we are talking about projects. The last volunteer gave out a lot of money, much of which he benefited from. And he asks about buying things, so I go into my whole shpil about how I am here to educate and not give out money. I am not sure this went over well but I think he understands now. So on the way back it starts to rain and then it pours. I think I found myself in one of the biggest rain storms I have ever been in. I could not see 1 foot in front of me, it was horrible. All the villagers were huddled in houses, but I was already soaked so I just walked the rest of the way home. They all got a good kick out of this.

I then tried to have a meeting with the government about my work, to have no one present within the office. I feel like things are going to start very, very slowly. But hopefully everything turns out well. I also made posters to hang in the village office that explain what my role is here and what my counterparts role is as well. Hopefully this helps straighten out some of the confusion.

Also finished the James Patterson book. It was great. I now am still trying to get through The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Not sure how long this is going to take, I know that you all said it was great but I am having a hard time getting into it. I also have started to freak myself out with the book, so this now might be a book that is only read during the day time. I really want to finish it soon though.

Also if anyone was wondering, I have not finished the m and m’s yet. I am really proud of this at the moment. I am also craving a bagel with cream cheese right now, which really sucks because there is no way in hell that I will be eating one of these before I get back on US soil. Hopefully I can be eating one in May. (Trying to get home for 2 weeks in May for Han’s graduation and the Old Kent 5 K)

Also I hear Auburn won. That is awesome.

On other random notes, Grandma my dad told me about Grandpa so do not worry about having to have that conversation with me. I think this is a really good thing. Maybe now you can come visit me in Tanzania or even better go to Poland and hang out with Leonia.

January 12, 2011

I am finally learning to sleep in. I didn’t get up until 8 today but I did have Jessica walk by at about 6 and say good morning. Surprisingly I heard her. So I am not sure if 8 actually counts.

I then spent most of the morning doing laundry and planting my tomato plants. I kept going back and forth about where to plant them. I finally decided on inside my courtyard. This decision was helped by a 7 year old that told me that I planted them outside someone would steal them. I decided I didn’t want to have to deal with that can of worms. But I do find it interesting that in a country where the first thing that they tell you is how peaceful the country is, they sure talk a lot about thieves. I just don’t get it, everyday I think I have a conversation about thieves and to make sure everything is in my house at night. They don’t even want me to leave anything in my courtyard. It is exhausting. It is also interesting because in Grand Rapids, I definitely don’t live in the best neighborhood, yet I leave stuff out all the time in my backyard without having to worry. I really like that. Also if Tanzanians are so concerned with theft, what do they do about their farms. There is no way that they can keep an eye out on all that land.

I have been playing a dice game (Aunt Diane gave it to me, thanks) with the children in my village and still am not sure how to explain the rules and how the game works. They are slowly getting part of it, little by little. It is so foreign to me that these kids have never seen die before or have no clue what a pair or small straight are. I cannot even fathom as to how to teach them because it is so second nature to me. I am so thankful that I grew up playing games with the family and at the cottage. I am hoping that by the time I leave here, they will have a grasp of it. I was also thinking it could be fun for the carpenters in the village to make wooden dice.

Also, almost finished with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. You were right it does get really good at the end, but I half to say it sure takes a long time to reel ya in, I definitely would have stopped reading the book if it wasn’t for all of you people telling how good it was. That and the fact that I am in the middle of Africa with nothing better to do, except maybe my homework and think of a research project. It is interesting how I still manage in the middle of nowhere to put homework off.

January 13, 2011

So today I almost found myself in the middle of another full on tsunami. I was just about to leave J2’s house when she said to wait. I said ok but I was really thinking, it is not going to rain. Not 1 minute later there was a huge downpour. It was insane. I am so happy that I was not soaked this time. Although after the rain stopped I was on my way home and almost fell like 10 times. I am pretty sure I am going to take a really big fall in the next week and be covered from head to toe in mud. I am not looking forward to this. I was also walking home and a group of kids came running out of nowhere and into the village. I kept walking but then noticed that everyone was watching them. Apparently a dog needed to die. My guess is rabies but I don’t know. Anyways guess how they kill it, the school kids (primary school that is) run after the dog with sticks and beat it to death. Very humane wouldn’t you say. Surprisingly this doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

I went to a seminar on corruption today, and was able to make out exactly one word today. Corruption. I think my Swahili is getting worse. There were about 30 people at the seminar so that was good, hopefully this will cut down on the amount of corruption in the village. But who knows. The seminar was held in a church, I find that very interesting.

I finished both the m and m’s and The Girl with the Dragon tattoo today. Both we awesome.

I forgot to tell you, the last night I was in Dar es Salaam, I stayed with an American family that works for the Embassy. It was like being back in the US, it was crazy, they had a real kitchen and everything. They also had air conditioning. I think had one of the best night sleeps ever, but it didn’t last long because I had to be up at 4:30. But I now understand a little more how people can live here for long periods of time. I also talked to their daughter, she lived in Tanzania for 10 years and didn’t know any Swahili. That is so weird to me, but I also understand because she lived in little America here.

January 14, 2011

I just realized that there is snow in Michigan right now and that it should be the middle of winter. This is not a good realization. This will be my first winter in like 10 years where I was not skiing at least 1 time a week. This is very sad. Oh I so wish that there was somewhere to go skiing here, but of course that would require snow. Jenna I think you are going to be able to beat me when we get back, no contest every time. This makes me really sad, although I plan to one day beat you again.

As usual I was suppose to have a meeting today only to find out that the entire office had

left without telling me that it was canceled. So far this week, we are 0 for 3, hopefully next week goes better. At this rate if I get anything accomplished while I am here it will be a feat. I am going into town on Monday to talk to some people about chickens, bees, and farming. Hopefully this all goes well. I also need to start thinking about a research project. I really have no idea where to even begin. I thought that having a choice would make it so easy, not true. The exact opposite has happened. Now there is just too much to choose from, it is like picking a major all over again.

I made bagels today. And if I do say so myself they are delicious. I am very pleased with them. Now if I only had some cream cheese to go with them. I think I am going to try and toast it tomorrow on the stove with some butter, not as good as cream cheese but a close second.

My friend Claire is coming tomorrow. I am really excited. I have started to realize that I do not mind living in the village, I just wish I had someone to talk to who knew English and I also wish I could have people live with me. I can hear all the neighbors at night talking and that is one thing that I miss. Talking to people before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. It would be really nice to have someone here. But oh well. I think if I could just have mornings like at the cottage with everyone, everyday that would be the best. So if you could make that happen that would be great.

Claire just got back from the UK so we are going to try and make sushi. Not sure how this is going to work yet, but it should be really fun trying. I also made beans today. They were great, I am pretty sure it was the gigantic spoonful of salt that did the trick. I am becoming really addicted to salt in my food and sugar in my chai, these are definitely not good habits to pick up.

This is another random thing. (aunt Joyce, Aunt Suzzette, and Grandma) You will all be happy to hear that I wear sunscreen everyday without fail now. A girl told me that she has seen her skin age in the year that she has been here. That was enough to scare the crap out of me so now I wake up every morning and put a lot of sunscreen on. I also wear a hat and glass a lot. I am pretty classy.

I was blowing out my stove today and the flames wouldn’t go out. They instead came back at me. Luckily I had my glasses on because I really thought that I had lost some eyelashes. But they all still seem to be there.

January 16, 2011

My friend Claire came yesterday and it was great. Her, me, and Paul made some spicy peanut sauce and sat around and talked. It was a great evening. I almost forgot I was in the village. We made bagel sandwiches that were awesome. I think this will be something I will be making a lot in the future. It reminds me so much of home and my mom and dad and skiing.

Me and the kids are working on new handshakes and in this, they have decided to try and teach me the packing a dip motion. It is unbelievable, all the kids can do it. If they only knew what they could use it for.

Jenna I finished My Maasai Life. I thought it was alright. I really don’t like her writing style or how she talks about her family, but it was an alright book. I can see why you liked it, it does have a lot of similarities to my experience (another reason why I might not find it that interesting).

So I have encountered my first bought with corruption. Apparently there is a villager that

has been saying that him and me are working on a cow and pig project together and that they need to give him 5,000 shillings (this is a lot for a family) and then they will have animals by next month. ( This is definitely not the case.) I was alerted to this yesterday when my neighbor came and asked me about it and then Jessica told me that some villagers have asked her about it too. I really don’t know how this guy thought he could get away with this. I have now constructed a poster that I am going to put on my door telling the villagers of the projects I am currently working on. Hopefully this will end some confusion and prevent at least a little corruption, we shall see. (that is if my sign doesn’t get stolen)

January 18, 2011

So my neighbor asked me to go to his farm yesterday because he wanted to show me what he was planted and see if I thought it would be good to plant tomatoes after the corn was done. I told him that I really don’t know anything about tomatoes but that I would come and look still if he wanted. He told me that was fine and said that his farm was far so I would need my bike. To me far is like 1 hour bike ride, nope this was a solid 2 hour bike ride through gorges with lots of mud. And it one point there were no farm or anything. At this point I was thinking “god I really hope we are going to his farm” I have been reading way to many murder mysteries at the moment. So we finally get there and when we go to leave I get a flat tire and we cannot find the whole to fix it. It took us 4 hours to get back. Making me the most tired I think I have ever been. I was really worried that I was going to pass out because I only had a handful of raisins and only brought one water bottle because I thought I would be back pretty early still. We left at 6 and didn’t get back until 1. It was a very long day.

I then went into town to meet up with Claire, Yue, and Randi. It was really fun. We sat around and talked and then made Sushi and carmenl corn. Claire had brought seaweed back from home and Randi got a package in the mail with smoked salmon so we had awesome sushi. ( it was supper easy to make too, so was the carmel corn.)

November 29, 2010

GO WEST!!! My high school football team won the state finals. It is so sweet, of course it happened when I was in another country but I am so happy.

I had a great weekend and thanksgiving. We made Aunt Diane’s pulled pork, coleslaw, and potatoes. And then we made pineapple upside down cake and pudding. The pudding was a little hard because it was completely from scratch but I think it turned out pretty good. The pineapple upside down cake was another story, it didn’t necessarily cook but it tasted awesome (amazing how pure sugar and butter is the best thing ever). Also we killed a duck and cooked it. It was crazy, my friend Jake killed it and then we cooked it. I took some lovely pictures of the killing. It was crazy the feet were still moving after it had no head. It was really nice to hang out with everyone although it was a lot of work, so I hope we don’t have another party like that anytime soon. Oh yeah and we played Quiddler. I am now the owner of a brand new Quiddler, I am so happy. My friend Aaron brought it and didn’t want it anymore. It of course made my day.

Also had a girls night with Claire and Randi and it was wonderful. We made vegetable burgers and crepes with chocolate sauce and bananas and just sat around talking and watching movies. It was great. All it needed was some popcorn, gummy bears, and squirt and it would have been perfect. We watched An affair to remember. I think it was the first time that I saw it which is weird because Cary Grant is in it and I love him. But it was good, although not sure if I like the Actress in it.

I walked back to my village today with a full backpack and a chair tied behind it. Needless to say I was very tired when I got home. It took about 2 1/2 hours to walk, but it was nice and I need the exercise. Some people kept asking if I wanted to ride the pikipiki (motorcycle) and I kept saying I can’t. So of course another person asked me and I didn’t even respond and just kept walking because I was sick of saying no and getting nagged about it. Turns out that guy was actually one of my village officials, I realized this after he started honking at me. (How are you suppose to recognize someone when they have a helmet on, also I am ashamed to say but I have a hard time remembering what people look like) I have just met way to many people in way to short of a time. I hope by 2 years I have it down pretty good, but at the moment it is still pretty slow goin.

I also made corn bread today and it was AWESOME. I taught my friend J2 how to make. (I have to friends name Jessica. So from now on I am taking on David’s way of talking about his boys and call them J1 and J2. J1 is the younger one, who has 4 kids, and helps me a lot with work. She is my counterpart. J2 is older and I think has 5 kids. I usually go over to her house and we make food and talk.) It was a really good day in the village. I am actually a little sad that I am going to be gone some much in the upcoming weeks between seminar and traveling with Han. But I think that I need it after the last month that I had. It think it is going to help me a lot and get me ready to start tackling this projects.

November 30, 2010

I am aware that I do talk about food a lot but I think this is my hobby and also what I do to keep busy. I understand completely now why a lot of women don’t lose any weight while here and actually put some on. I am not sure how I am doing in that category yet as I have yet to see myself in a full length mirror. (I am a little frightened by this) But my clothes still fit from what I can tell so hopefully I am just staying the same. We will find out soon enough when I put a bathing suit on. It should be quite a sight especially with this lovely farmers tan I have going on. I think I am whiter than I have ever been in my life.

I went to the bathroom today and as I am sitting over the hole I look down and see a frog. Now I am not sure if this is the same frog that has been haunting me or not but I really hope he calls a truce soon because I am sick of seeing a frog every time I go to the bathroom. Also I am not sure if anyone else has this fear, but I have a fear that something is going to come out of the toilet and bite me (maybe a snake or crocodile) and seeing a frog is not helping things. I know this is crazy talk but that is one of my fears, along with swimming in a pool and the pool closing in and sharks coming out to eat me like in James Bond. (Stephi back me up on this) I know these are stupid fears but ya never know. (I swear I am not going crazy, I am actually doing really well these days, I guess I just needed a major break down first)

Talking of food again. I tried to make salted peanuts but I forgot the water part. Again they were a disappointment. Hopefully one of these days I will cook something good on the first try. I also ate into a mango today and saw a worm crawling around. Not a good day for food.

I have been reading a lot of the travel books about TZ and am overwhelmed with different ideas of what I want to do while I am here. There is just so much to do I am not sure where to start. I think at the moment when Hannah and Jenna come we are going to go see MT Kili and walk around some waterfalls then come to my village for Christmas and then go on a safari and to the beach to snorkel. This is the current plan but I am sure it will change a bunch before they actually get here. I am so excited, especially to snorkel because I haven’t been snorkeling in the ocean in a while. I think since senior year of high school, it is going to be nice to actually look at some cool fish again instead of the dull fish of Little Whitefish Lake. Also Ashleigh, I was telling someone about the Brook’s Lake sea monster this week.

December 1, 2010

In case anyone was wondering, I have the worst acne that I have had in years. I look hideous and now more than ever all of the bebe’s and mama’s are asking what’s wrong with your face. It is horrible, I’m a monster.

Things you can make on a kerosene stove:

1. Popcorn (although not as good not sure if it is because of the kernels or the stove itself)

2. Rice

3. Salted peanuts (somewhat like planters)

4. Cornbread

5. Biscuits

Things you cannot make on a kerosene stove

1. Ginger bread

I found out today that this is not possible and all it ends up being is this huge sticky glob of dough and a pan that Aunt Marti would say should soak for a few days if not a week. Big disappointment but I can try again on the charcoal stove. I am thinking gingerbread with icing for Christmas sounds AMAZING.

Also I wasn’t planning on it but today me and J1 cleaned my entire house and yard. (including washing the floors) Now why would I want to spend all that time cleaning when I am not going to be here to enjoy it, this is along the lines of why make my bed if I know I am just going to mess it up again. I just don’t see the point. Although the house does look really nice. Probably the cleanest it has ever been.

October 29, 2009

It has been a really hard couple of days, I am not sure where or how it started but I have been feeling the most miserable that I have felt since I have been here. I seriously considered coming home. But I called Andrew and talked to a few of my friends about it and I think/ hope that I am going to be ok. I guess only time will tell. I also told my friend Jessica (TZ and lives in the vill, speaks only Swahili) about it and she completely understands and is going to try and help me get out of the house more and talk to people. She thinks it is just because I cannot/ do not want to start anything before my seminar that I have in a month. And I think she is completely right.

Since I have had all this time to think and not thinking the best thoughts at times, I also realized that this is the first time that I have ever been away from my family and friends. Here I thought I could do things by myself without others and thinking about it, I went to Michigan with Meaghan and Andrew ( one of my best friends and brother), then I went to Colorado with Jenna (another best friend), and then I went to school and met Mary (another best friend) the first day. So I think I am still just adjusting or at least I hope this is the case. I am working on keeping busy as to not have too much time to think.

Yesterday I went and saw this tree that you could climb in. It was awesome. The inside of it was completely hollow. It just grew in a circle without a center. I took some pictures of it but I am not sure if they do it justice. It was awesome. Also I have been making the rounds of tv shows and just finished watching Entourage another great show if you haven’t seen it yet.

Sunday is election day so as of right now most of the village is walking around in t-shirts and hats with Kikwete on them. They also have a guy with something like a foghorn walking around using it and shouting something. It is really, really annoying. But the villagers are really excited about the elections and I have to say I am a little interested to see how they actually work too.

Tomorrow I am going to go cut firewood for the stove and learn how to cook TZ food. I am excited and hoping that if I stay busy enough I will feel good and not miss y’all so much. As usual I am a work in progress that it trying desperately hard to figure herself out even though I really thought I knew myself. Oh how a desert in the middle of nowhere without anyone or anything familiar can change your perspective.

October 30, 2010

I slept in the latest I have ever slept in while I have been in Lupeta. 6:30 AM really sleeping in these days. I went and cut kune (firewood) with my neighbors. We walked for 20 minutes around the mountain and then started to cut. They use an axe or a machete but the blade is super dull that it takes longer. It is crazy I cannot believe there are not more accidents from cutting the trees. I really thought my neighbor was going to lose a leg. I tried and was able to cut one tree, it took me a long time and was a lot of work. We then carried all the wood out on our heads. Needless to say I was really, really tired when I got home. I took a picture for you guys to see. Also they use the firewood as a source of fuel for their stoves if you were wondering.

I then went to my friend Jessica’s and learned how to make maandazi (TZ style donuts) they were wonderful, although they are fried so of course they are not good for you. I was thinking that they would taste amazing with ice cream and the Witte chocolate sauce. I will definitely be making these when I get home.

I kept myself pretty busy today, so I felt pretty good. Meaning I didn’t think of all of you too much. I am working on it but I think I am going to be able to get through this. It is just a lot harder than I ever thought it would be, mostly because I miss everyone and am homesick.

October 31, 2010

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I am sad to announce that I forgot it was Halloween until my mom told me. This is horrible especially because I love Halloween. Watching Hocus Pocus, eating candy corn and drinking cider while carving a pumpkin. So much fun.

I finished painting my room and by painting I mean I painted one wall. It looks wonderful though and the villagers are all really impressed that I did it myself. I painted it 2 colors, checkered style. I might paint one of the walls in the other room I haven’t decided yet. It does seem to open up the room and not make it so dreadful looking. I took a picture so you guys can see it too.

I also learned to cook beans today using a firewood stove. It took 4 hours and then I had to make ugali. I have to say there is a reason I don’t cook TZ style, if I did I would never be able to leave the house. Beans take way to much work, the hours spent cooking them and the amount of resources, I don’t have that much extra firewood to spare this just means more work in cutting it and me being more tired. I think I am going to stick to my kerosene stove and American food for the most part. I will cook TZ style every once in a while but I really don’t think it is worth the work especially since it is only me eating it.

They picked the president today. Still not sure who it is yet but my guess is Kikwete. All the villagers went to the poles and had to present their voting card, they then got to pick who they wanted.

Not much else is new. Working on staying busy and talking to more people, so call me if you have time, anytime I am usually around. I am also trying to finish up the Harry Potter series although I have stuck on the 6th book at the moment. It is moving really slow compared to the other books I think. Also still listening to a lot of Miranda Lambert although I hear the new Taylor Swift cd is good, going to investigate this when I get the internet again.

November 1, 2010

Dodoma on Sunday for some much needed rest to clear my thoughts and figure out myself because at the moment I am chagalabagala (hot mess). But I am really lucky because I have wonderful friends here that listen and Andrew who calls me a lot and helps me work out my problems. I am very blest to have such great people in my life and of course everyone else. It is really nice to be able to talk to people that are going through the same thing as me, because as hard as you guys try to understand what it is like here, you will never know. You will have an idea but I will never be able to explain to you what it exactly it is like here and at the moment not sure if I want to. I am just trudging along. One more month and then I get a month holiday so I just need to hold on a little longer and I think everything will be ok. I just need to work through this.

On another note I forgot to tell you that I was riding my bike and a chicken ran into my front wheel. So in Michigan you have to worry about deer and here you need to worry about chickens when riding your bike. Although I am sure none of this compares to the dead kangaroos in Australia (Stephi, Alex, Uncle Ted).

November 2, 2010

I woke up and went and cut firewood today. This is my attempt at getting out into the community but really all it did was make me really tired. It is hard work cutting firewood and then carrying it back. I think the walk is about 20 minutes without wood on your head. But it was fun and it got me out of the house.

I then washed clothes today which went rather well, I need to start doing it more than once a week because it is making my fingers raw and then I get blood everywhere it is quite the fiasco.

I went to the open market again today which was still scary but I went with a mamma so it was a little better and when the drunks flocked she would just say Let’s go and they would leave and not follow us which was nice. She also said I did not have to say hi to everyone especially the drunk people which was nice.

November 8, 2010

After a nice trip to Dodoma with everyone I feel a million times better. It was so nice to be able to relax and just hand out and speak English. We went to some nice restaurants and walked around the market but for the most part just chilled and ate yogurt. I forgot how much I like yogurt. I have to say that the hotel we stayed it was pretty sketchy due to the fact that we forgot to call the normal hotel. We will definitely remember to call ahead next time to our normal hotel. Was a little reminded on a scary movie at this last hotel. Really only just the bathroom though, it really wasn’t all that bad, just not as nice as I am use to. Also the group that went was Paul who is really really tall, Tanya who is Pakistani , Randi who is blonde and blue eyed, Allie who is younger and Tanzanian, and me. We were quite the site to look at I am sure. I am sure more than one person took a second look at our group, I know that I would have.

I was very excited because I got to skype with everyone in my family which was really nice. I also got to talk to my grandma which was really, really nice considering I used to talk to her atleast once a week but now not so often. I really need to try and keep up on this, it is just

really hard with the time difference.

While I was gone, it rained in Mpwapwa and now the insects are huge and everywhere, which means in my house. (AAHH) There is also talk of going to Mafia Island for Christmas which I think would be great, but not sure yet if this is the plan. All I know is that I want to be with my friends preferably on the beach drinking some good beer, swimming, and evening out my farmers tan.

Also huge news, one of my best friends in the world is getting MARRIED. I cannot even believe this news. Lindsey Haggai is getting married. That is crazy.

I also met the new shadowers (new volunteers that are still in training) today and they seem really nice. No new volunteers are coming into our area but it was still really nice to meet them. They seem really fun.

Watched the movie Gamer this weekend. Thought it was ok, I really felt like I was playing a video game, but Gerard Butler was in it so of course I cannot complain that much. Also listened to the song Haunted by Taylor Swift. Thought it was pretty good. And really sad that I am missing the new Harry Potter movie, but possibly hoping to see it in Dar or bootlegged somewhere.

I am doing really well now, I think this weekend was just what I needed. I feel ready to go back into the village and learn.

November 9, 2010

I woke up and opened the door and a chicken ran inside the house. I then spent the next 10 minutes attempting to get the chicken out. This of course did not work and the chicken crapped everywhere. Luckily my neighbor came and grabbed the chicken with her bare hands like it was no big deal. Not sure I will ever be at the point where I can use my hands to get rid of a chicken. Also don’t plan on letting any more chickens into my house.

I bought a huge bag of hot peppers this weekend which are great, except I think I am eating to many and my stomach doesn’t appreciate it. I also thought I washed my hands thoroughly well before I took my contacts out. This was not the case. I soon might find my eyes in the same state that Andrews have been in.

I started the charcoal stove all by myself today in a relatively short time. I was very proud of myself and am currently cooking bread for tomorrow. Really excited because I really miss bread.

November 10, 2010

I spent all of today typing my rough draft of my report for PC. It is a report about the

village and the projects that I hope to do. I forgot how hard it is to write a report after not having to write one for so long. I used to be pretty good at them, but now I am not too impressed. Luckily it is only a rough draft so I have lots of time to improve it.

Also washed my jeans today and they turned out so clean I am really excited. I think every time that I do laundry I get a little better at it. Tomorrow I am going to LITI (livestock research institute) to talk with my friend about possibly projects. I am really excited because I really want to start doing something and I think LITI is going to be a great resource. I am also going to take the shadowers with me (education volunteers that are still in training). It is weird I am already not the newbie and people are asking my how site and the PC is. Crazy.

Also we are on the start of a new record. Six days now without water. Crossing my fingers that tomorrow is the day. And also the rains start really soon because I am sick of watching the amount of water that I use. I could definitely be cleaner.

November 11, 2010

We got water today. Yeah. I did have to wait about 2 hours today for it, which wasn’t too bad, but I am not going to say that I really enjoyed it. No matter how long I sit and watch the women get water, I cannot for the life of me figure out a rhyme or reason to it. And have come to the conclusion that there isn’t, but I still find this so hard to believe because there must be order. I just cannot imagine it without some sort of order. It apparently is just not in my site yet. Luckily I have 2 years to figure this out.

I had an epiphany today or at least over the last few days. As you know I have been having a really hard time and in my attempts to get out of it, has been a long slow processes, but today I feel like a million bucks. Not sure what exactly changed but I think part of it was just accepting that this is going to be my life for the next 2 years and realizing that I am always going to miss home and everyone. And that it is ok to miss home, frankly I think I would be a little scared if I didn’t miss home at all.

Hannah and Jenna both emailed me this week. And I think they might be coming to visit over Christmas if everything works out. I hope it does, I am really excited.

I went to LITI today and had an adventure. I took the shadowers with me because I thought they might like to see what I do (or at least have a change in scenery). So we went and I showed them all the different types of chickens that exist in TZ. I also accidently let one of the chickens into the wrong pen, so my friend Enock had to catch him with his bare hands. Luckily he grew up on a farm and is used to this. This could have been bad though. I also saw two chickens trying to fight each other, the only problem was that there was a wire fence between them. It was pretty funny,

I played spades today. Fun game, but I still think I prefer euchre better.

November 12, 2010

It is amazing how some days the days go on forever and other days they fly by. Today would have been one of those long days, but it wasn’t too boring. It stinks that I really don’t have a lot to do at the moment. It is just hanging out in the village, I really want to start projects but really want to wait until after seminar. So today I worked on my village report and homework. I am starting to freak out a little because I have no idea where to even start for my research. So far nothing has really grabbed my attention, hopefully something does, and I do have lots of time. So I think I will be spending a lot of time on the internet in the next couple of weeks/ months researching and gathering information.

I was awakened this morning by the neighbor kids. And do you know what they had. A mouse on a leash. I told them they needed to go and take that mouse as far away as possible. Of course they all thought this was hysterical. I however did not.

I also found out that my beautiful Papaya tree fell over within the night and all the fruit is conveniently gone. This is just another omen of how this environment is not good for trees. Interesting considering that is my field of study. But it was really sad I was looking forward to that fruit. It reminded me of when that semi fell over on the highway by the old union high school and water bottles went everywhere, so people took all of them. That is what happened to all my papaya.

Also made English muffins today. And they turned out horrible, so horrible I am not sure if I ever want to try them again. But we will see. I do love English muffin. Also I think I wanted them to taste like the sourdough English muffins and they did not so that of course did not help thing.

Question: How much flour do you think is a healthy amount to consume each day/week? I feel like I might be over my limit by a lot. It is weird when you can actually measure and see everything that you are eating.

I think it is official that Han and Jenna are coming to visit over Christmas. I am so excited, I cannot wait to see them and hangout with them. Not sure at all what we are going to do, but SO EXCITED that they are coming.

November 13, 2010

I went and helped out on the farm today, actually it was more of sitting and watching. The entire time I was thinking this is how it must have been in the 1800s. Most people here do everything by hand using a hoe. It is horrible and takes so much time. I am very happy that technology has come a long way so that I don’t have to work in the fields. I prefer a small garden and that is it.

On my way back today, I saw 2 white people at the village office. It was really weird I have never seen another white person in my village before. Turns out they are veterinarians from the UK and were out here vaccinating some of the animals. They were really nice. I showed them my house and they were really impressed. (Amazing how expectations go down when you live in here) They also really liked my painted wall, I have to say it does look pretty good.

Finally finished the 5th Harry Potter book. Totally forgot the ending. Turned out to be really good.

November 14, 2010

First off, I showed one of the neighbor boys ( Bonifice, age 13) a picture of everyone and he said that everyone was a mzungu (white person) except wait for it ….Stephi. The tan really threw him off, he would not hear of it.

Secondly I have been the most Tanzanian that I have ever been. I woke up this morning and choted (carried) water. Then I cleaned and organized my entire house, washed clothes, and cleaned the gutters. I also had time to cook ugali (stiff porridge) and make maandazi (donuts). And I still had a ridiculous amount of time to do nothing. I really need to come up with a hobby that will keep me and my mind occupied for a long time. But I am also hoping that after my seminar when I can start projects that I will have a lot more to do and to think about. Because as of right now. I am bored out of my mind.

Also here, people use fat as a compliment. I am still having a hard time getting used to that because I feel like a complete slob. Even though I walk a lot and bike.

November 18. 2010

I almost ate a whole head of cabbage today by myself. Not sure if I am proud of this or not, but I do know that now my stomach wishes I had had some restraint in eating it. It just tasted so good today. I have been all over the place in the last few days trying to make contacts and talk to people, so a lot has been happening and I have been keeping relatively busy by Tanzanian standards.

Cabbage recipe: (really easy and good)

Oil, salt, cabbage, 1 onion,2 roma tomatoes

Fry oil and onion. Add diced tomatoes. Add cabbage and salt to taste. Add water as needed. Ready when cabbage is soft.

I was cooking yesterday and went to reach into the oven mitt and guess what came crawling out on my hand. A cockroach. I screamed bloody murder. It was so gross, I hate cockroaches.

It also rained on Monday which was awesome and made me really happy that I cleaned my gutters the day before because now I have water in my water tank and don’t have to worry as much about water which is awesome.

As thanksgiving is coming up, we started to plan the menu. We decided on American food because there is no way we are going to be able to have a turkey and all the fixings so we are going to I think have stuffed duck and chicken with coleslaw, salad, and potatoes. For appetizers we are going to have chips and salsa and hummus and pita chips. And for desert pineapple upside down cake and pudding. Everything is going to be made from scratch on a charcoal grill. I hope everything turns out, I am really excited, it is going to be a lot of fun I think. This also reminded me of theme weeks at the cottage during the 4th. Oh how I miss the cottage and everyone, but this should be a good thanksgiving too. Hopefully I can take some good pictures of the festivities.

FYI to the family, I have a copy of zoolander now. So now we can start watching it again. I think this will be our third copy, hopefully I don’t lose this one too.

November 19, 2010

So I have been experimenting cooking and found that I am not a very good cook and am quite impatient when I am the only one eating it. This has led my standards in cooking to go down a lot needless to say. Today I spent all day trying to make French bread with varying results. It tastes like bread but definatey not a French bread. I then also tried to make beans which take several hour but found I could not wait that long and so ate have cooked beans. I really need to learn to have more patience. This was all done on the charcoal stove though so at least I am getting more comfortable with it. Also yesterday when I was cooking I forgot to turn off the kerosene stove so that was on for 2 hours with nothing but hot oil to cook. I also set my oven mitt on fire today. Not feeling like the best cook in the world at the moment, but it is fun to try to new things and gives me something to do so I cannot complain to much. To go along with my impatience I also have a blister inside my mouth because I couldn’t wait for it to cool down. I think I might have a problem.

I also went to a shamba (farm) today and helped clean up all the old plants, I used a stick like contraption and moved the plants into piles that were to be burned. I actually didn’t mind it, it gave me some much needed exercise and I got to hang out with more people from the village. I just wish I could understand more.

Also I have come to the conclusion that my favorite parts of the day are early morning and dusk. Everything is so peaceful. I really like it, the scenery is beautiful and it is quiet for the most part. ( I also think I might like it because I don’t have as many people to greet and talk to you, I might have a little bit of Grandma in me)

Finished the 6th book and am starting the 7th Harry Potter. I am racking my brain trying to remember what the seventh book is about but cannot remember for the life of me. Of course this is the abridged version from Jenna and Mallory because I never thought that I would actually ever get around to reading them. But as it turns out I have some extra time on my hands and am really, really enjoying them. Not sure what I will read after this though. My mom sent me The girl with the dragon tattoo. So I think I am going to read that next, I hear that book and the sequel are also really good. I am glad I have some good books to read, it helps pass some of the time.

November 20, 2010

Lately I have been so tired I don’t even remember that I already put my mosquito net down, which means that I end up walking into it and causing a disaster. It is amazing how hard they are to see in the dark. It feels something like walking into a spider web a little, especially when you are still half asleep.

I spent a good portion of the day explaining to my friend Bonifice that “nigger” is a bad word.

But he kept saying no and that he had heard Billy Blanks (remember tye-bo) say it. In the end I decided that whatever he had heard he was pronouncing it incorrectly but it took a lot out of me. Especially because I had a hard time explaining why because he even said he heard it in songs. Needless to say this was one of my least favorite conversations so far. I really hate that word, even here is gives me chills.

Also found a dog today that is scared of white people. The dog would not stop barking and trying to chase me. Luckily he was tied up. At the same time I saw 4 kids in a tree jumping all on the same branch. I am not sure how the tree did not fall over. It was a miracle.

It rained again today and it was glorious. It got a little cold and the wind was great. It was so relaxing, I want it to rain every day (this was also great because it means I don’t have to worry about water as much. Which is awesome, especially because I have not been the cleanest these last few weeks because of lack of water. But the rains are starting slowly.

I planted 4 tomato seeds today. This is going to be interesting to see if the grow, I have never started tomatoes from a seed, so we shall see how long they take to grow and if they are successful. I think I am going to start planting before I leave for seminar, but I am not sure yet. I am getting really excited though to have my own garden, it should be really fun.

On a final note, I was greeted this morning by another frog in my choo. I fished him out of my choo water only to have him reappear 2 more times. I couldn’t get rid of him, he even made it into my house once, which I was a little scared about because I thought I might lose him. That is all I need a dead frog in my house. But Bonifice got him out, although I while I did the humane thing and threw him out the door. He use him as somewhat a cross between a golf ball and a baseball. So of course I thought he was dead, but I swear this frog has as many lives as a cat. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up again tomorrow, although I really hope not because it is not the first face I want to see in the morning.

November 21, 2010

Today I went to the Pentecostal church. I think there were a total of 8 people at the church it was interesting. The songs were beautiful though, I am not sure why but all Africans have good voices. This is my theory because I have not heard a bad one yet, unlike in the USA where there are bad singers everywhere, I also being one of them.

I also spent much of the day finishing the last Harry Potter book, I know this is terrible because I couldn’t put it down, so I accomplished nothing today. I literally spent the entire day reading, the book is so good. But I have to say why do they make the books so big. I is so hard to read the big books, they make my arms hurt. Which probably also means I need to start lifting weights or something but I never really had any arm strength to start out with. But I have finished the serious now and they were all awesome. Next up is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. (Hannah and my mom said it was really good)

Also realized today that I need to buy a radio, I think it will help with all the silence. Although I usually have my iPod in, I think the radio will add something different, make me feel not so in Africa.

November 22, 2010

I went and helped on the farm again today. This time I was given a piece of wood that loosely resembled a rake and helped rake up the crops from last year. We then lit the piles on fire. It was actually really nice because I got to learn more about how they farm and got some exercise, although now I have huge blisters on my hands. The women in the village were not too happy about my blisters, but there is really nothing I could have done, I get blisters in the US from working. Oh well.

I also learned today that the seed of a peanut is the actual peanut, which I guess makes sense. I just would have never guessed that. I am not sure what I expected but a peanut was not the answer. Also made dry roasted peanuts with salt today and they were delicious they tasted like the diamond almonds. Sometimes I amaze myself with cooking. (very rarely though)

I ate dinner at the neighbors house today so I sat in her kitchen with her. And I am not sure how I survived. Her kitchen consists of a room with 2 small windows and an open fire pit in the middle where wood is constantly being feed to keep the flame going. So there is smoke everywhere. I feel like I just smoked a carton of cigarettes. I don’t know how these women can do this, never mind the health effect, it is absolute torture to have to sit in that room. My eyes were watering, my throat aching, and the smell. I LOVE STOVES AND GAS.

November 23, 2010

I again did not do a lot today, but I had a very lovely day. I wrote the my family some letters and started to draw some Christmas cards, although I hate to admit I am having a hard time thinking of Christmas stuff.

November 25, 2010

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I wish I could be home to celebrate with all of you. And I really wish I could watch the dog show and the parade, Oh well. I am at my friend Randi’s house today. We are not really doing anything special because on Saturday we are having our celebration, but I didn’t want to be alone so I came here. I think we are going to make banana bread and not sure what else.

Yesterday as I was on the bus waiting for it to leave, these are the thoughts that I had: First the perfect person to work on a bus as the ticket guy is a jockey (horse rider) because the bus is so crowded you can hardly move, but it you were a jockey you wouldn’t have any problems because you are short enough to fit under peoples arms and really slender. Secondly I was thinking about how I mix up a lot of words in Swahili and this reminded me of when I was in Poland talking to my teacher about my dream house and I got bed and bathroom mixed up so I went on and on about how my husband was going to have to sleep in the bathroom every night. This all made me laugh thinking about it, and made for a rather enjoyable bus ride.

I also attempted to make corn torilla chips this week and they might be the worst thing I have ever made. I was really hoping for something along the lines of El Matador but they were not even close. They tasted really grainy and oily and made my stomach hurt the worst it has ever hurt since I have been in country. I am thinking I will not even attempt this again with stinks because I was really looking forward to chips and guac and salsa. I think I might try salsa and guac with pita chips, that those might be really good together and I know I can make pita chips.

October 18, 2010

I went into the city yesterday and was pleasantly surprised to find that skype worked although not when calling to a phone. I am pretty sure I gave my grandma a scare when she couldn’t hear me properly. Sorry Grandma. But it did work computer to computer. So this morning I woke up and climbed part of my mountain to see if I could skype from the village. It turns out that I can and I sound a lot better than when I am in town. Weird. How does that work. But I am really happy to hear this.

I also have been cooking a lot and am not sure if it is a good or a bad thing that I don’t eat any processed food because now I can see my exact intake of almost everything I make. It is not looking good. It turns out that I eat a lot of flour and sugar. This is not a healthy diet, I really need to work on this.

Today I taught English class and a teacher who teaches English came in and decided to tell me that I was teaching wrong in front of the whole class. He says that I was not saying question words correctly. I could have killed him at that point. I really hope this doesn’t become a regular thing for him to come because I really do not like people critiquing me especially when I know I am not a teacher and I am trying the best that I can. If he does it again I might have to tell him he can teach the class.

Also Stephi saw Gerald Butler at the Breslin and I am completely jealous. I would have loved to see him. My friend Mallory and me have a Gerald Butler summer when we were in Steamboat and watched every movie he has made. ( We might have gone a little too far, but we have a lot of time on our hands) I don’t think I will be seeing anyone famous for a while.

Also I did something to my back and have never been in this much pain. It is horrible. Even worse when I move, so I am trying to move very slowly or not at all. This is really hard. And I know you were all interested in this but going to the bathroom is horrible. I would say this is a time where I wish I was at home to lay on the couch and watch tv.

PC came Saturday and checked up on me to see what I was doing. I think this was also a trip to make sure that all volunteers are sane and able to coup with the different environments. I passed and was actually impressed when I was telling my boss all about what I have been up to. I actually felt like I have been doing something. But today again I did nothing so I think it goes back and forth.

Speaking of water. We are now at getting water about every 4 days. I really hope that this is as far as we go between days but judging that we still have a month and a half before the rains come, I think the days are just going to get longer. Which means I am just going to get dirtier and stingier with water.

I asked a girl today what she had for breakfast and she said Pombe (local alcohol). I would like to say that she was joking but I myself and not sure.

October 19, 2010

So I forgot to tell you that when I came home I found another dead lizard. This one was only a baby. I am not sure what is going on or why they are dying. I just hope they stop, because I really don’t like having to dispose of them. (throwing them out my front door for the chickens to eat) Then I went to the bathroom this morning and found a dead frog in my toilet water. It has been a week of deaths at my house. I think it might have something to do with the spray I used for ants. But the frog died because he was swimming in my laundry water.

Also I thought I would tell you that the bed that I sleep in is huge, very wide, but not very long. I just barely fit on it. I thought about this last night and decided Uncle Paul, Uncle Jerry, or Shawn would never fit on this bed. It is weird when I think of Africans I think of tall people. (this might have something to do with basketball) But this is not the case in TZ, most of the people are about my size or shorter. Only the Masi are tall.

I think I threw out my back carrying water yesterday. I can hardly move which makes cooking, cleaning, really anything very painful because everything is done on the floor. Not a good time for this to happen. I spent today staring at the ceiling and think I might go crazy if I have to do that again so hopefully it gets better soon.

October 20, 2010

As usual I found that if I can get out of the house life is wonderful. This was again the case today as I spent the day with another friend named Jessica. I had a wonderful time, I just need to get out of the house. I think at the next town meeting I am going to tell all the people to please invite me over because I love being around all of you, I just get scared and lose my nerve when I am in the comfort of my own home, even when I am bored out of my mind, I have a hard time getting out. Learning slowly how to stop this.

My back hardly hurts today which is wonderful because I was already going to the worse case scenario in my head and it had me laying in bed not able to move at all for a long time. My neighbors think that I fell while climbing the mountain, this did not happen and I still am not sure what happened. Maybe I slept wrong, either way through I feel better now, which is good because I need my back.

I washed my bed sheets today and found this is not going to be an every week occurrence. It is really hard and long and I am still not convinced they are clean. The first time I went to put the sheets on the line I dropped them in the sand so I had to start over again. This might be my least favorite thing to do now, I will even put sweeping in front of this.

October 23, 2010

I am not sure where to even start today. You know when you have a really bad day and that turns into a really bad week. This is the kind of week I have had starting with my back going out. I decided to go into town to catch up on some work stuff and do some errands. This did not happen, I got nothing accomplished that day. I was then planning to talk to Han at night and of course this did not happen either. (I have decided Mpwapwa is only 2g and a 3g network is needed for it to run smoothly, is my thought) I also came into town to charge my computer but of course the power went out too. (the power only goes out when I am in town, I swear) I then race back home in the morning to get water because we are suppose to be getting water on Friday to find out “ Nope” not water, maybe tomorrow. I then go to take a little nap and my bed breaks. Yup, now I feel really fat, especially when I go to tell the carpenter and he ask how much I weigh. So now no water and I am sleeping on the floor. I was going to go away this weekend but stayed because of meeting that I have been trying to have only to find out at the time the meeting is suppose to start that “no, there are not enough people here, we will have it later” they couldn’t of told me this before. Then I go up to the mountain to skype because it worked on Monday but I should have know because of how my week has been going that this was not going to happen. SO this has been my week. I definitely contemplated going home this week and asking myself why I choose this, but I have since talked to some of my friends and feel better now. Just a minor melt down. Oh and I woke up with a dead cockroach on my pillow.

On other notes, I have started to actually paint my house. I am staring at a white wall at the moment which I think I am going to paint purple and green checkers on. Still thinking about it. And I have to say the paint makes me feel a little better, now maybe some furniture and my table (the carpenter again says Monday) and this might actually feel like a home. If you look at my pictures right now I put up what my house looked like when I first got here, somewhat like a prison cell is my thoughts.

October 24, 2010

I cannot remember if it is today or yesterday, But HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!

It has been another eventful day although this day was 100 times better than yesterday. It started off with me going to church. (my friend Jessica telling me it is time by yelling through the window on her way, Oh the joys of living so close together) I then went to my other friend Jessica’s house where her mother explained to me and showed me several times the correct way to open a peanut from its shell. (Who knew there was a right and wrong way) I then had multiple people ask what happened to my legs. I have cuts all over them from the mountain. They have these pricker bushes that I swear just jump out at you. After explaining about this they, then turned to the subject of my acne, which they still think are mosquitoes. This then turns into are you using your net and taking your medicine because we don’t want you to get malaria. I swear the entire village of women are my mother sometimes. I hear the same thing over and over again. But I am glad this means they are looking out for me and care.

Later at night I went to the outdoor market with a lady. ( I usually don’t go because it is really overwhelming) The market consists of a lot of pombe (alcohol) and a few ladies selling tomatoes. So really just a lot of drunk people who then want to talk to me. Can’t they understand I have a hard enough time with a sober TZ, a drunk one is a lost cause. It was good though. Most of the people are wonderful, only a few ones to look out for. But of course I happened to find one them, he wouldn’t stop talking to me and kept putting his hands on my leg, luckily the mamma I was with said it was time to go. So I had a good day today which I am very happy about. I really needed this.

Also the president of TZ came to town yesterday. I didn’t go because PC said not to. I would have liked to but I understand why I couldn’t. A lot of people from my village went and they had a great time. One of the groups sang a song and a few got to shake his hand. He arrived and left on a fleet of helicopters. (I think a pretty badass way to make an appearance) They have elections to pick the new president on Sunday (Halloween) I am interested to see how this process works.

October 25, 2010

I forgot to mention that yesterday and it turns out today a man had appeared to show me what to me looks like a cross between a dragon and a lizard. I am not sure what it is, but the man keeps bringing it to show me. The first time I saw it I screamed and ran. I don’t scream anymore but I still don’t like it. I am crossing my fingers this doesn’t become a regular thing. I told one of the boys that comes over about it and of course he laughed, but then the man showed up while he was here and he ran for cover too when the thing started to move. So I don’t feel too bad.

Went and saw a bunch of bee keeping houses today. I took some pictures. To me they look like tiny suspended coffins from trees. Kind of eerie, especially in this environment.

Also added thyme to my omelet today. I strongly suggest it. It was delicious.

September 27, 2010

I rode my friends bike from my house into town this weekend with my big backpack on. It is a pretty insane ride because none of the road are paved so it is a mixture of a guessing game as to where the soft sand is as well as the loose rocks and gravel. It was really fun though and reminded me a lot of mountain biking in Steamboat. Except there are is no shade. I also have found out that some things never change and again I live on top of a hill. It doesn’t look that bad but it is a gradual climb up to my house from town. At least it isn’t as steep as Houghton. I also have been wearing my helmet if anyone was wondering and I feel like the biggest idiot with it on but at least when I fall and I am sure this is going to happen that my head will be intact or at least I hope so.

Me and some friends also went to Dodoma this weekend and it was so nice. I loved it. It was exactly what I needed because although I really like my village it is really hard to be alone and apart from other people that are like me. And also it was nice to talk about work and ideas that we have because I always need input from other people before I start things. It makes me feel better. I don’t trust myself and it is good to have people talk about it. Things you never think of come up and help.

I also talked to Alex and all the little Preston cousins which was really nice because I haven’t talked to them since I have been here. It was really nice. I wish I could be at all their football, soccer, and volleyball games but it sound like they are all doing really good even without me cheering them on.

I am sure you are asking what I did in Dodoma. Well they sell oatmeal, whole wheat flour, and raisins so I stocked up on the essentials and ate some really good food and again got to use the internet and eat ice cream. Which was amazing. We went to the New Dodoma Hotel and ate Chinese food which was amazing but also really expensive. (we usually pay 2000 shs for dinner instead we paid 15000 shs) I felt rich for a second then I realized how poor I was again. It also reminded me of eating Chinese in Italy maybe this will be a new thing and any country that I go to, I must eat at Chinese restaurant. It was really nice to do as a YEAH we made it through the first month.

Also playing chicken with a frog while you are trying to pee is scary because you don’t know if the frog is going to attack (FYI frogs in Africa are small, nothing like Hawaii Ashleigh) or you are going to pee on yourself. Thankfully it is still a waiting game.

September 28, 2010

I had my first group meeting with the secondary school students and was very lucky that Paul was doing the group with me because I totally froze when I needed to talk. I couldn’t even put a simple question/ phrase together. I totally choked. Hopefully Thursday goes better when we meet again.

I spent all of today reading and going through all of the paperwork that I have, only to realize how overwhelmed I am with things. The not wanting to start anything to soon, but at the same time being so bored that I want to start something.

I also have found out that Tanzanians have no problem sitting in long periods of silence while talking. I have a hard time with this and have found that I am usually the first to give in and talk. But I am experimenting with staying quiet to see how long of a silence it can be. It reminds me of the staring game only in this case it is the talking game.

September 29, 2010

Went into town today and again forgot that I am in Africa. It is weird how that can happen and good at the same time. It is also weird that I was so nervous about going back to the village and then when I left today, was sad that I was going to be gone again.

September 30, 2010

I got an internet modem today and am now in the process of trying to figure out where if anywhere in my house I can get internet, which I am hoping is a yes somewhere. I returned from town today and was really happy to be back, I have such a love hate relationship with my situation right now. It makes me sick. I am constantly putting myself through every emotion imaginable in the matter of hours. But I am really happy to be back and have a lot of good ideas for the next few weeks.

I taught my second class to the health and environment group. This was to a total of 3 kids today which I was actually really happy with because it was a lot less scary this way.

October 1, 2010

Yeah I have made it to October. I am thinking maybe a Halloween Party for the village. Not exactly sure how this is going to work yet but I still have some time to think about it. I am assimilating better into this culture than I thought. I have been really late for meetings this last week or not showed up at all. This is not good, I hate when this happens to me, so I am going to make extra effort to be where I say I am going to be. I also spent 2 hours listening to the women’s choir sing and dance. It was wonderful. I am always amazed when people can play instruments and keep a beat because I cannot at all.

On another note, I made biscuits’ today using the kerosene stove and they were wonderful. I added butter and honey to them and think that I might really like honey now. Before I was kind of iffy on the subject of honey but I think that I might really like it now. This might be because of the lack of sugar in my life. I also am trying to read this book called “What’s the matter with Kansas?” It is a political book and I am thinking that although I am desperate for reading material at the moment. I am not sure that I am that desperate. I have got about 10 pages through it so far and am not impressed at all.

I watched this movie called “Once” this weekend. Dad I think that you would really like it because it is a foreign film, although it is a little slow the music in it is really good and all the actors have accents. I think it might be a British film but I don’t know. Steph and Andrew I think you guys might really like the music in it too. It is about this guys that plays the guitar and meets this girl and they somewhat start a band.

Random note: A lot of people here have the same ringtone of the girl in “Love Actually”. I hear it everywhere.

October 3, 2010

I spent an hour yesterday trying to get a signal for my modem only to find out that the network was down. While this was a good thing, I also think this is going to be a problem in the future, but I am hoping this modem makes my life easier instead of harder although at the moment it is definitely adding stress to my life. Also Happy Pulaski Days, I hope you all ate tons of kielbasa and drank lots of beer while polkaing.

I was visited again by the kids that wanted to save me a few weeks ago only this time they want to me to help them get to the USA. After explaining to them that I was here to help the people of TZ with the environment and health they continued to ask me to help them. So I gave them my phone number, but they wanted more information when I left. I don’t know why they cannot understand that I will be here for 2 years. I said this in both English and Swahili but they wouldn’t stop. Finally I got them to leave and guess what they aren’t even from my village. I not sure why they want my help considering that I am not saved. I was very polite to them, but I really hate when people come up and want me to help them get to the USA. I am not here for that, I am here to help people living in TZ. This is my rant for the day.

After arriving to church really late today, I was invited over to someone’s house, where I had a great time. We had chai and scones and talked about possible projects and life in general. It was wonderful the entire conversation was in Swahili. The lady was very patient and talked really slow. I definitely do better on one to one conversations.

I also think I am going to actually start painting this week. I took before pictures so hopefully the after pictures are better. We shall see.

October 4, 2010

I got water all by myself for the first time today. It took me about 1 hour and I think the ladies let me cut. I carried 1 small bucket and 1 big bucket on my head. I don’t know how these ladies do it, my neck hurt really bad and that was only after 1 they carry stuff on their heads all the time. I am amazed.

No table yet, hopefully this week though. Keep your fingers crossed. I was suppose to have a meeting with my village government today but the chairperson was gone. This is the conversation that I had with one of the chairmen. “Where is Bwana Juma” “He went to Bumila because someone died. (he then points to the village office and the door) And this then say something about hitting and that they had to go to the police.” From this I thought that someone had broken into the Bumila village office and died inside so they had to go to the police and figure things out. I imagined the chairman walking in the morning to a dead body but I talked to the chairman later and he just said someone had been hit at their house and they were dead. Which is still really bad but I imagined a different scene playing out.

I also made peanut butter pancakes today. They were pretty good but I think I like banana pancakes or crepes better. But at least it adds so variety to my life. Also finding out more and more that I cannot talk, luckily now people are at least correcting me so at some point in time I will actually be able to speak.

October 5, 2010

I woke up to a giant cockroach on its back next to my bed. I have never seen a live cockroach in my house but every morning I am usually greeted by 1 or 2 dead ones. Still not sure how this happens, I can only assume that they are falling to their deaths from the rafters or the lizards are having some fun. Not sure but at least if I have cockroaches, they are dead ones.

I cooked TZ style today and made rice and vegetables. The vegetables consisted of onion, tomatoes, and the leaves of sweet potatoes. It was alright for one meal but of course I made too much and have had it twice today and I am thinking possibly breakfast tomorrow if I can swallow it. I can’t seem to get my portions right yet. Also don’t think I like rice as much as I did in the US, it just seems really bland here. This also might be because of my lack of anything else to eat. I need to work on the variety of food that I am eating. It is hard. I also are a papaya from the tree in front of my house today. It was the best papaya that I have ever had, I thought I didn’t like Papaya in TZ turns out I just had a run of bad papayas.

I taught my group at school about good sanitation today and how they need to wash their hands and boil their water before drinking so they will not get sick. We shall see if anyone takes this to heart. I also brought my Frisbee and we played together I think it was really fun. And hopefully they liked it so they will keep coming back to learn more.

Also I wore my pick aviators today and the little kids loved them. They loved watching themselves in my lens and making funny face.

October 6, 2010

Today I accomplished a lot for me. I talked to my village government and we are suppose to have a meeting tomorrow. I gave them the questions that I want to ask so hopefully they understand my Kiswahili and they show up to the meeting tomorrow. Tanzanians do meetings and appointments very differently. So far we are going on 2 weeks of trying to have this meeting. But I am confident tomorrow will be the day or at least I hope. I also started to take pictures of the village and have found that everyone wants their picture taken and they all want a copy. I am not going to start giving people pictures though because I think this would be really expensive and how would I stop. I also want to one of the sub villages today and talked with 3 different people about groups that they had and the problems that they faced. All of their problems are within grasp of my knowledge, I just need to find the right person and also continue to explain to everyone that I am not here to give them money.

I also think I made the best dinner yet. I made roti an Indian bread (Aunt Marti and Aunt Tricia I think you would like this bread, it is fun and really easy) all it consists of is wheat flour and warm water and you knead the dough and let it rest for 20 minutes. Then you roll out thin and cook in a Teflon pan. It is really easy and really good. I made this with a delicious egg, tomatoes, onion, spinach, and basil omelet. I felt like a real chef today. Now I just need to work on eating slower and enjoying my food more, I take my time cooking and then when it is time to eat, eat it really really fast. I would like to say this is because I am eating alone but even with people I eat really fast or maybe my friends just eat really really slow.

Also rode a bike today and loved it. I always forget how much I love to ride bikes. It is so much fun and good exercise. Although I am still having a hard time pedaling on the right side of the road. I get really confused and this scares me for when I return to the US to drive. If I were you I wouldn’t let me drive for at least a few months, I almost had 2 huge accidents today. The other people were not pleased to say the least.

Also I want to shout out to all the October Birthday’s, I know there are a lot so happy birthday to everyone. I hope you have wonderful birthdays and get to eat your favorite cake and ice cream.

October 7, 2010

So I again waited for my table to come, this time very optimistic because the fundi was at my house to measure the doors and then he left, I assumed to bring my table and of course I was wrong. Everyday the guy says he is coming, it is so frustrating because by the time I realize they are not just late ( because TZ are usually at least 1-2 hours late) it is to dark to go and find them, Next time I am not waiting I am just going to go right there and guide my table to me.

I am going to spend a few days with Randi in her sub village because I need to get out of my village and talk about projects and all that jazz. I need another Americans input to tell me if my ideas are good or bad/ how/ where to begin. It’s hard when you are the only person to bounce ideas off of.

Also had a meeting with the VEO (Village executive Officer) today and it went wonderful after weeks of trying to have it. I accomplished a lot and I really like my VEO which is good because I will be working with him in the future I think.

Sorry nothing funny or exciting has happened here. It is weird that me living in half a world away in a environment that is the complete opposite of what I am use to and life is dull. I think this might have to do with my lack of language hopefully after my language picks up, life gets funnier. I am hoping I just cannot understand TZ humor at the moment.

October 11, 2010

Just when I thought life was getting boring, it stops. This weekend I went and saw my friend Randi’s site. She lives about a 2 hour bus ride away, I cannot believe how different our sites are. It is like night and day but still against a sand storm background. I had a lot of fun hanging out with her. I then went to leave and the bus was packed. So packed I really didn’t think I was ever going to fit. But somehow me and 15 other people managed to fit. (think a minivan packed so full you cannot mover with stiff piled 3 feet high in the top and people sitting up there too) It was unreal I had my hands clinging for life on a pole and only 1 foot on the ground. Then when we got to the bus station all of the passengers unloaded and then the bus drove away. My bag was on the bus. So I went up to another person on the bus and he said it would be back in a minute. 20 minutes later I was still freaking out, thinking how could I be so stupid and my computer was in there. So as I am calling my friend to tell her I turn the corner and the conductor smiles at me and hands me my bag. I felt like an idiot. I was also the most freak out I have been yet. It made me feel better though when a Tanzanian asked where I got my bag from because he was looking for the bus to.

I then headed up to Dodoma to hang out with my friend Tanya. It was wonderful all we did was talk, eat great food, and watch movies. I got to eat ice cream and yogurt which was amazing and peanut brittle. This doesn’t sound that exciting but when it doesn’t exist within your town, you would be pretty excited too. We bought a huge tub of ice cream and split it. At night we got street food that was amazing and reminded me of the fair. They had flat bread, samosa’s, fried bean bread, meat on a stick, coleslaw, and fries. It was the best food I have had yet. We also watched 2 movies: Shutter Island (Steph you were right I am glad I didn’t see it in the theater) and The Hurt Locker, which was awesome.

I also got my bike and found that I am really, really out of shape. That and I hate biking on sand. When I arrived home I was greeted by a dead lizard in my bedroom. It really freaked me out especially because it somewhat resembles a snake. I then thought the worst was over until I went to use the bathroom only to discover 2 frogs swimming around in it. I got them out, but there were still in my courtyard when I went to take a shower. I really hope they didn’t retreat to my house.

I also got my modem to work which was awesome and was able to skype with my family. I made the mistake of calling Hannah and Andrew during the MSU vs U of M tailgate (I heard Michigan didn’t play that well) and got to talk to Hannah in her prime. It was great, it made me feel like I was there for a little bit.

October 12, 2010

I almost forgot to tell you I did my first liftie (hitchhike) kind of. As I started out the morning to walk into town a car stopped and asked if I wanted a ride. It was wonderful. Something that should have taken 2 hours only took me 10 minutes. Sometimes it is nice being the white person. That way I am easy to remember and stick out.

I was also horrified today when my carpenter came to put in my door to my bathroom. First off, he built a door that was too big for the frame and instead of cutting the door down which would have been easy because it was made of wood and metal, he started pounding on the cement creating a huge mess. Something that could have easily been avoided had he measured correctly and if he would have measured himself. He had his son do it. I watched both of them and they did a horrible job, there was slack in the measuring tape and I tried to point it out. I also had try and open the door for the carpenter to see that it wasn’t fixed yet. In the end, the door fits and I have a huge mess in my yard but at least I have a door now. I just think the job could have gone differently and a lot easier if he had done it a different way. This is obviously my American view but in the end I have a door so I really cannot complain.

My boss is also coming this weekend and I am a little nervous. I am not sure what I am suppose to show him or what he want to see. Hopefully it goes well, but I feel my Swahili is getting worse by the day, so I am really scared. I feel like I should be further along, although in actuality I am not suppose to be doing anything so hopefully I am fine. I just kind of feel useless right now.

October 14, 2010

STO LATA DAD!!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Today felt somewhat normal, which is really good. Although I spent the entire morning looking out my window every five minutes to see if it was time to go get water. They don’t have a schedule for when the water gets turned on, so far I have found no rhyme or rhythm to it. (not that I have not tried) But luckily I saw people and then I made a mad dash for the bomba (pipe). I got water all by myself today, although they always let me cut even when I try not to. I carried 4 buckets on my head today and so far my head feels fine. Although I am not the best walker with a bucket on my head so after 4 buckets it looked like I had just taken a shower with my clothes on. Needless to say I had to change. But I am very proud that I was able to carry 4 buckets all by myself. I do have to say it sucks having to plan your day/week around water, I am very thankful for a kitchen sink. I am understanding more and more how women in Tanzania live. It seems they spend a lot of their time just surviving, hopefully I will be able to make some impact that could possibly make their lives a little bit easier. We shall see if this is possible, although at the moment I have no idea how.

October 15, 2010

As they say one man’s junk is another man’s treasures, this was the case today when I went to burn my trash and my cell phone box, juice container, and deodorant container were pulled out. They also took my razor and a broken pen. I will be interested to see what they make out of this. This also has led me to have 2 separate trashes, one that I burn and one that I throw away in town. I really don’t want the entire village knowing everything that I bought or playing with my deodorant. It is just too weird.

I started reading the Harry Potter books on Tuesday and am already on the third one. I really like them. I tried to read them before but couldn’t get through them, but now I have all the time in the world and I am reading them pretty fast.

PC comes tomorrow so I cleaned my house and washed the floors. It took me about 5 hours to clean the house and do all my laundry. Man I miss washing machines. It is great that PC is coming tomorrow because I might actually get my table now and they might finish my doors. Keep your fingers crossed, I am .

August 29, 2010

I spent the last few days away from my village and although I had a very good first week it was really nice to hang-out with Americans, talk in English, and be with my friends. I did some shopping at the safi duka (shop, they sell oatmeal there) and went to the internet café and got to use real high speed internet, I almost thought I was back in the states for a minute. At night we all went to the bar together and sat around drinking and talking. It was a lot of fun. It was also really nice because since I don’t have network at the moment at my house I was able to talk to my siblings and family and catch up. This made my week because I love talking to them and hearing about what is going on, especially because it is usually hilarious.

Tomorrow I head back to my village and I am a little sad, not because it is bad, only because it is so unfamiliar and foreign still. I am going to have to go back into awkward mode and putting myself out there. If y’all saw me now, you would not recognize me because I actually go up and talk to people and make small talk, introducing myself and asking them tons of questions. I am a whole new person in TZ, but only here, I plan to keep conversations short in the USA.

Also we made banana bread and gingered carrot soup for dinner. It was delicious, who knew you could make such wonderful food here. Now I just need to remember that this stuff can all be made in my village by me.

August 30, 2010

It is my first day back at site and I was dreading it the entire day, Randi and Paul were really excited to get back, but me I was just scared and not ready to leave electricity and running water. Along with I had just watched It is Always Sunny in Philadelphia and this was a bad idea because this made me desperately miss home. But after arriving home, I went around the village and met with one of the women’s groups and I instantly felt better. I am ok again, it just stinks that I am so far removed from everyone. I had bought a different network card hoping that I would be able to talk inside my house but this didn’t work.

I am working on my house and making it a home which in the past I have not been very good at, but I figure if I can make this house something comfortable and something I want to come home to, this will instantly make life a ton better. My friend Jessica came over today and helped me wash and clean my floors which were caked in dust. I don’t think she thinks I can clean.

September 1, 2010

Today I am officially on the Zain plan which is wonderful. For $10 a month I can talk to all the other PCV’s for free and I get 100 free texts which is wonderful so now when I am having a bad day or a good day for that matter I can call someone. Granted I still have to walk to get network but at least I can talk to people now and not have to worry about my prepaid minutes running out. Apparently Alberta was more like TZ than I expected.

I think I understand people and then I find out that what they said is completely different from what I thought. Today I waited around almost the entire day waiting for the Fundi (carpenter) to come to fix my door. I come to find out that what was actually happening was we were going to his house at dinnertime. Not a big deal though because I caught up on some reading about the village and washed my walls because tomorrow I am going to begin to paint them. I am doing my bedroom purple and blue, hopefully those 2 colors look good together.

I also made naan bread today. I think it turned out all right, it was edible anyway. I think I am going to have to work on this. I also was visited by the counterpart of the last volunteer, he doesn’t speak that much English but he at least knows the ideas behind PC so I am going to go and talk to him tomorrow. He lives in the next village over, so I will be visiting one of the sub villages.

I am not sure how I am going to deal with the amount of people that expect me to have loads of cash and presents ready to give away at any minute. I understand that I come from a very wealthy country compared to here, but still. I keep trying to explain to people that I am here to help they understand and learn about the environment, that I only get a living allowance and am suppose to live like the typical Tanzanian but they still keep asking. I usually try to laugh it off but sometimes it is hard when they continue to ask. If they only knew that I am probably poorer than them. Thank you college.

September 3, 2010

Today I taught my first day of class at the secondary school, I was beyond scared to teach because I have never taught to kids before (let alone in another language) and I hate speaking in front of people, I would rather be in the back. It went great. I talked about soil erosion and the climate of TZ. I loved it and was actually impressed at the amount of knowledge I knew about soil erosion. I know I am a dork but I love talking about the environment and it is so much more exciting when you are talking in a different language. Although I am still sure that although this information is useful to the people of TZ, I still will not be able to communicate with Tanzanians in Kiswahili because all of my vocab will consist of is environmental words.

I also baked my first banana bread today and started my first jiiko (charcoal stove) by myself today. I almost was not able to do it. I really don’t like this not having a table and cooking on the floor stuff. My body was not built for this. But after 2 ½ hours of cooking and trying to light the jiko (a lot of Kerosene was used) I was somewhat successful. The bread is edible at least which is good. I need to learn to have more patience and not want to do everything so fast. It is actually quite hard to try and fill your day up with things to do in a small village besides talk to people. Which would be fine except I am still very limited in my communication and really am not good at small talk in any language. I can only ask if you are married, how many kids you have, and what you cooked for lunch so many times.

I also taught the kids hopscotch today. I think they really liked it. They and actually the adults had a little trouble at first which I was surprised about it because all you do is hop but they got the hang of it after awhile and loved it. Besides having all of this free time, I also have a lot of silence which I need to learn is okay. It is weird being able to hear yourself think all day long, some days I am really sick of myself but I guess with all this time and silence I might be able to figure out the rest of my life or atleast the next step but probably I will just read a book and continue to put my future off. At the moment I am thinking Tahoe with Hannah or Steamboat with Andrew would be great.

Also I just finished UP and the old man in the movie reminds me so much of Grandpa Preston it is unbelievable (Stephi and Hannah I think you would agree).

September 4, 2010

Today I washed my floors which I have found is really hard without a mop, I probably will have back problems by the time I leave here but it was a good workout anyways and now my house is clean. I also climbed my little mountain today. I only went halfway up but the view was amazing and it was so beautiful. I see a lot of that mountain in my future. I also get service up there which is a huge plus so I might possibly be skyping from the top of the mountain if everything goes as planned. Which is actually kind of cool I think if it works. I think it would definitely make for a good story.

I also opened my first coconut today. It was so hard, I really thought I was going to kill myself or atleast loose a finger but then it opened perfectly. But of course the coconut was still hard to get out of the shell. I don’t think this is going to be a normal shopping item. I also saw one of the women in the village cleaning a chicken, the amount of time and energy needed to clean it amazes me. I dabbled with the idea of telling them about the KFC chickens but figured that it would be better when I can actually communicate. Which I have still found to be quite difficult. Today I was talking about Bailey doggers because they asked if we had pets in American and instead of saying he died I said he was married which made for quite an interesting conversation.

September 7, 2010

I started reading this book called “My Gorilla Journal” by Helen Attwater it is all about Africa and how this lady moved to the Congo with her boyfriend to take care of orphan monkeys. It is interesting to read because she is describing almost exactly how I feel at times. Wishing I was home in the US and then at the same time so happy that I am here. It is so weird these highs and lows, but I find that as long as I keep busy everything is fine, so I have a feeling that I am going to have a lot of projects so I don’t have a lot of time to think.

I walked around the village today and talked with people again, I am not sure if my Kiswahili is getting any better but atleast I am trying and people can see that I am trying. One of the boys I talked to today knew English so he gave me some lessons. This is what he taught me in Kiswahili:

1. Refusing and wanting at the same time

2. To live long is to see much

3. Follow bees that you may eat honey

4. The cock crowing saying my boy is far away.

Not sure what I am going to do with these sayings yet or when I will ever have the chance to use them, but he was nice enough. The random things that people know in English astounds me, it is all so random and useless. They will be talking about food and then randomly bring up some organic chemistry or physics. And when this happens I am supremely lost because why on earth would you go from talking about food to talking about physics. That just is not natural.

I made my first fresh baked bread today. It took me ½ hour to prepare the dough and an 1 hour to light the Jiiko. I am not sure I will ever get the hang of it, everyone else makes it look so easy but every time I try and light it I almost burn my face off, If I make it out of TZ without a burnt face or hair I will be utterly surprised.

September 8, 2010

Today I went to one of the subvillages and introduced myself to some of the villagers and at the same time asked some questions about the village. It is weird that people are not busy all the time, Tanzanians look like they have all the time in the world. Which I guess they do, they live a more simplified life, one which I am finding harder and harder to adjust to. I like being overly busy and a workaholic it is really hard to be one here. It is also really hard to remember that this is going to be my life for the next 2 years. I am still thinking of this as strictly a job and school related which is not good. I need to build relationships that are not always focused on work. This is again going to be hard to do but I am going to try my best.

I made crepes with a tomatoes sauce today and it was amazing, even more amazing that I did this all while on the floor. I cannot wait until I have furniture, cooking on a table might be one of the simple joys in the world. I do think that me living in Houghton without furniture and on a blow up mattress got me more ready for this adventure than I thought. In reference to cooking I think I am going to try and make periogi’s (they butchered the name, it made me cringe when I saw how they spelled it in the PC COOK BOOK) here. There is a recipe in my cookbook and I figure I have a lot of time to perfect it. Hopefully they turn out, I am not going to start trying until I get a table first though.

I also think I am starting an addiction to sugar, before TZ I hardly ever ate sugar or added it to my food but now I add A LOT to everything. I ventured out again into the village today and found that a lot of villages indulge in the occasional alcoholic beverage as well. I talked to a few grandmas and grandpa with too tight of shoes.

September 9, 2010

So what happens when you respond with TAK to everything Ndiyo in Kiswhaili (YES) you end up walking for almost 6 hours straight. And I thought I was just going to this cute old man’s farm. I was probably the farthest from the truth. We started out by walking around the mountain and ended up looking at hay fields. We then continued to walk around another mountain where I found that they have electricity, really wish I lived on that side. After this we ended up in the town which I thought was the complete other way and talked to the Livestock Institute about my being in the area and possible collaboration. At this point I was ready to fall over, but then we met this scientist who is interested in collaboration and ended up at his house for lunch which was great especially because he spoke English we then preceded with our journey home which was another 2 ½ hours. I don’t think I have ever walked this much without going hiking. And I am pretty sure we walked around 2 full mountains today and there some of the worst gullies I have ever seen. I have to say it is amazing how much water can do for an area, it was so green on the other side of the mountain. On top of being the most tired I have ever been in TZ so far I think that I am probably the most dirty and dusty I have ever been, even after bathing I am still covered. A bucket bath sure doesn’t beat a hot shower.

Also when we went to this scientists house it was liking walking into the USA. He has electricity, a fridge, dvd player, ect. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was really weird because I haven’t seen any of that stuff or technology in general in 3 months. It is funny that any time I talk to someone they all asked how I am surviving without electricity, even the teachers at the school. The lack of electricity doesn’t really bother me it is more of the sketchy cell service and lack of internet. I didn’t realize how much I love the internet or the amount of time I used to spend on it. I love it because everything you could possible want to know about anything is at your finger tips I really miss being able to look up random things or find the answers instantly. But I don’t really miss tv that much.

September 12, 2010

This last weekend I went into town because I just couldn’t stay in the village any longer. I am still working on making my house nice and as of right now I still have no furniture and I have to say it just doesn’t make staying home enjoyable. So I went into town and stayed with my friend Claire who is from Scotland. She is really cool. It was great because all we did was hangout and cook and I got to use electricity and watch tv. We watched Miss TZ which was hilarious. The program looked like something we could have produced in 8th grade film production it was horrible but still nice to watch. I also watched more of It’s always Sunny in Philly and I love the show even more now. It is so funny, if you haven’t seen it you need to start watching it. I am getting less homesick although the transition (sitting on the bus and waiting to leave to come back to the village) is still pretty painful. But once I got back home I was fine, although while on the bus I was on the verge of tears which I am not sure why because I like my village and feel great when I am here (most of the time). I did decorate a little more when I got home which made me feel a little better and I think it is starting to look better. I also got to talk to my parents which was amazing, even extra amazing since they didn’t know that I was going to have service.

Also I have another animal issue in my house. For the past week I have been finding pellets of poop on the floor but that is it, I never hear anything or see anything only the poop. So I of course have been discussing this with my friends and they all keep telling me you must have a rat or a mouse. And I keep telling them I know the difference between that poop. (Large rodent incident of fall/ winter 2008) Today I finally saw it, it being a lizard that is about 3 times the size of Gonzo the Gecko. I think we have an understanding though, that as long as he stays out of sight I will continue as normal. I just hope he doesn’t wake me up in the middle of the night too.

RANDOM INFO: I am living in the Dodoma region in a village of about 5000 people. My friend Paul lives a few villages over and is about a 2 hour walk. Paul is from Oregon and spent 2 years living in Vietnam. Randi (girl) lives about a 3 hour bus ride away. She is from a tiny town in Washington and probably has one of the best laughs I have heard. Paul, Randi, and me are all environmental volunteers and have not electricity or running water. We also have very sketchy cell service which makes communication hard. In our banking town Yue and Claire live. Yue is from California and is a education volunteer and Claire is a education VSO volunteer from Scotland. It is really nice that Yue and Claire live in town because then I have a place to retreat to that has running water and electricity and the closest thing to an American home that I think I am going to find in Dodoma.

September 14, 2010

As usual you can sit around and wait for something or someone to show up and no one ever does but the minute you start doing something, you get the knock on the door. This of course happened to me today, which was fine. I talked for a while with this girl about the previous volunteer and what she was is interested in, but then my stomach starting hurting and I was just trying to get her to leave because guess what I have diarrhea. Wonderful, first time in TZ which is probably a record within my group of friends.

But anyways, I started reading “EAT, LOVE, PRAY” (Jenna you should be really happy about this, but I think that I am going to finish it in less than a week unlike someone I know who took what seemed like forever, also I met someone else who read People of the Book and I explained to her how I haven’t read it but heard a lot of it because of your i-pod on random) and so far I am loving it. I just finished the part about Italy and it makes me miss Italy, although I am not sure why, I think it is because I miss my mom and Hannah more than actually Italy because I don’t even like Italian food. Although I did make spaghetti here because it is faster than rice. But anyways so far I really really like it. It is also weird though because she talks about her relationship with her sister and how in her early years they weren’t very friendly and how now she couldn’t imagine her life without her. Which maybe because I am here and realizing what and who is important, but I know that now I cannot either imagine my life without Stephi and Hannah in it. (weird considering Hannah and me used to never get along, we couldn’t even be in the same room together).

September 15, 2010

I finished reading “”Eat, Love, Pray” and really enjoyed it. It makes me want to write a book about my experience here in Tanzania but then I remember that I hate writing and that I am a terrible writer. So this blog is the closest thing that I will ever get to writing a book, which is fine for me. Also this makes me think that I might like to try meditation since I of course have the time, but then I think that would leave me even more time with my own thoughts and I really don’t like it when I have a lot of time to think. Nothing good ever comes of it, but on the other hand it might be good and actually help me and bring my thoughts together and away from home. So I might try it, I am still talking myself into it at the moment if you haven’t noticed.

Today I went to practice my Swahili with a pair of form 4 (senior) students. It was so funny, they learn English a very interesting way and therefore talk very differently from what I am use too. But it was still very good it is nice to talk in Swahili and English. They lectured me on the history of Africa and explained the key factors as to why Europe wanted Africa. It made me laugh, I felt like I was in History class again. Of course we also talked about drinking in the USA, marriage, sex, and HIV. The 4 things that villagers seem to love to talk about the most.

We also have no clinic here, but once a month the hospital comes to town. It was crazy to see all these women waiting to have their children weighed. They weigh them on a scale with a hook, so the baby hangs from the hook, I thought half the babies were going to fall off it. I also learned to make Ugali (thick porridge made with cornflour) today which the villagers were really happy about but I still don’t think that I will ever make it. Maybe in the USA so that everyone can try it and see what they have been missing in TZ but I am pretty sure that you are all going to agree that it should stay in TZ. I also spent today walking very slowly back and forth around my house today and found that if I stand really still in one spot that I can get service sometimes which made me feel good, so at least if I really need to talk to someone I will be able to in the privacy of my own home. Just me and what I have so far counted as 2 lizards and more ants than I care to count, but at least the ants are really small and they lizards can eat them.

September 16, 2010

Another way to kill yourself or seriously injure your mouth would be eating sugarcane. Especially when the only way to cut it is with a machete. The kids really got a laugh out of me trying to cut the sugar cane. I also thought that sugar cane could help with a diet because if you really want to eat it, you are going to have to really work to actually eat it. So it might be a good snack for the future if I can master the machete. I also was thinking today how annoyed I get when all the little kids laugh at me when I am trying to do something or just talking in general and I would like to think that if it was reversed that I would not laugh but I am pretty sure that I would respond the same way that they are and have so I cannot be too mad. I also have started listening to podcasts. Funny the first podcast on the list was grow houses and the amount of energy they use. Which if you were wondering is 6 times the normal amount a household uses. Funny I have no electricity and people in California are using more than their fair share, they also use absurd amounts of water. I also have to admit, although I still don’t know that much Kiswahili, I still love it when people talk to me and expect that I won’t understand. Especially when they are just greeting me. Come on people I definitely know how to greet by now, both in Kiswahili and Kigogo if you were wondering. Someone also asked me today what tribe I was from, how do you explain America without the vocab. I decided to tell them I was German, Irish, and Polish. I think German and Irish they understood but Poland was above them. I also taught them Dzien Dobry because they were talking about how most American’s only know one language. Compared to here were most high school kids know 3 (Kiswahili, Kigogo, and English). Lucky Bastards. I still will take my English and small Polish over theirs any day.

September 18, 2010

I have found the perfect spot in my house that I get a consistent amount of network, so today I had my cell phone on all day and got 2 calls in my house. This the first time that this has ever happened. My dad called and then Andrew, Hannah, and Stephi called from the MSU VS Notre Dame game, I of course am very jealous that they are at the football game and tailgating but it was so nice to talk to them. The funniest part was hearing that Andrew go hit by a car. I would have loved to see this.

Today I cleaned my entire house and did all my laundry and it still doesn’t feel clean. I think I am just going to have to live with the fact that everything is going to be somewhat dirty all the time. Which brings me to washing my clothes. I thought that I was doing a wonderful job of keeping my clothes looking crisp and clean but I am pretty sure the Bebes and mamas have been talking because my friend Jessica came over and showed me how to clean my clothes with a few Bebes stopping by and telling me to add more soap. Then Jessica would explain to them that I don’t know because I have a machine at home. This always gets a laugh out of them. But I do think my clothes do look and smell the cleanest that they have smelled in weeks although I have a feeling it is because of the amount of soap that I think is still in the fabric. I also found out today that my water is very salty which explains why the bar soap looks like clumps in the water. I should have been able to figure this out myself seeing as I am a chemist but it still took Jessica telling me to understand.

Jessica is the head health person of the village which doesn’t really mean that much as I can tell but she has become a good friend to me almost like another mother. She makes sure that everything is taken care of for me and makes sure that things are running smoothly. She comes and checks on me every day and almost always knows before I tell her what I did for the day or what I am going to do the next day. She defiantly reminds me of a mom when she starts cleaning my house and telling me to change my clothes because they are dirty as well as when we are at a meeting she tells me I need to go home now and cook and bath. But I don’t mind it, it is nice to have someone looking out for me. She is 39 and has 4 kids (ages 20, 17, 5, 2) she also told me that she had her kids early at first because she didn’t know about family planning. I really like her and am glad that she is here. I just hope that she is sincere, I think that she is but you never know when you are the white person in the village. But I am hoping for the best and have seen no evidence of the reverse.

September 19, 2010

I am not sure why today I have so much to tell because it wasn’t that interesting or busy of a day but here it goes. I woke up and climbed my mini mountain today. It took me about 1 hour to climb I then spent the next few hours walking around, reading, and sleeping. I loved it and am pretty sure this is going to become somewhat of a regular affair. It was so peaceful up there and there was also no one to bother me which I really liked. You can see forever too, I tried to take pictures but it really doesn’t do the landscape justice. Then when I got home I rested and to a shower and feel the cleanest I have felt in weeks.

And here it goes, so I am talking to a potential counterpart and a group of kids maybe the ages of 15-19 walk over. I figure they just want to say hi but no they have bibles in their hands. And what do they ask me “ if I have been saved.” So as calmly as I can (because this is the one question that angers me more than anything. Why do people ask this question and really is it any of their business. If I wanted to be saved I would have been.) I say that I am Catholic and have been my entire life. He then asks again if I have been saved so I say yes thinking that he will go away. No. No. He calls me a liar and continues to tell me why I need Jesus (this is all in Kiswahili) He then asks if I am French or English and switches to English. After 15 minutes he still wants to save me, not convert me just save me and again I tell him that I don’t need saving, I already have a great relationship with God. This conversation has probably made me the maddest I have been here and over God. How Ironic.

Later I went and talked with the headmaster of the secondary school because I really like talking to him, he teaches geography so we talked about the great lakes and I explained how I could show you where I lived with my hand. We then started to talk about sports and he said that there is a hockey team in Dar. I was surprised but then he said not many Tanzanians play, mostly Indians. So this leads me to believe that he doesn’t know what hockey is and thinks it is cricket. Of course I have to look into this because ya never know. So someone should find out if there is a hockey arena in Dar es Salaam.

I also made rice-a-roni tonight and it was spectacular. I cut up a tomatoes and added some Lawry’s Salt. I think this is one of the best meals I have made so far.

September 20, 2010

Picture this: A mud stage with a DJ on top and 3 huge speakers with 3 men in suit coats that go to their knees, fitted at the arms and a tie that only goes half way down their chest dancing Tanzanian style which to me looked like a drunk man lip syncing to his own music but acting like he is really singing. It was the most bizarre thing I have seen so far and this was all for the Anglican Church. These 3 men were preachers and they were in their 20s. It might just be me but I can’t take someone serious in their early 20s preaching about God. They are going to be here all week so every night I get to watch this bizarre scene take place.

I also made popcorn today and I cannot get all the popcorn to pop all the way but I have mastered the half popped kernel which I love. My teeth don’t enjoy this as much but I love those half popped kernels. Also if I haven’t already told you, before you cook rice you have to search through all of the grains and pick out the rocks. You then have to wash/soak the rice before you cook it. And even after all of this you will still end up with rocks in your rice and bite on the rock. And then think Oh My GOD I think I just broke my mouth. I really hope I come back with all of my teeth.

Furniture is still not here yet and yet again today I waited around thinking that it was going to appear. This makes me so mad thinking about it because I am absolutely positive I understood today but because Tanzanian time is so different this actually means hopefully this week. I really wish this village had cell service so at least I could call and find out the exact time to be home.

September 21, 2010

Scratch that today I saw the Anglican people being cured of their ailments. It was crazy. Bebe’s that couldn’t walk without a stick but now can. I don’t believe it but these people all did. I heard a lot of Amen’s and Alleluias.

So I don’t know if anyone has been wondering about what my day consists of but here it is. I wake up sometime between 5:00 and 6:00 am and then get out of bed between 6:30 and 7. I don’t need an alarm clock because of all the noise from the people moving and the rooster crowing. I then precede to sweep my house and courtyard of all the dirt that has accumulated. Then I take a shower, make some breakfast, and read. I usually get out of the house around 9 and stay out until 1. I then come home cook lunch and read some more and then again at 4 head out of the house until about 6 or 7 pm where again I return to cook, shower, read, and sleep. My days are not that exciting. I usually go out and try and work on Kiswahili and get to know the village some more. Which stinks because the more I learn about it the sadder I get because although there are a lot of good people here, there are also some corrupt and bad people. And it is hard to know who is who, but I am working on it.

I also talked to my friend Kenzi today which was wonderful. She lives in the Iringa region and we talked about PC and how hard it is, but then how awesome it is at times. We are both having a hard time trying to pick a counterpart to work with and have found that it is even harder when the only person you have to bounce ideas off of is yourself so we talked about it, but still didn’t come up with an answer for either of us. She also said that her brother is coming to TZ for 4-6 weeks so he might come and stay with me for a bit, which would be awesome because I love people, especially Americans at the moment. Funny I never thought of myself as a people person but here I definitely do. It is also weird because although I get sad at some parts of the day I am also so happy sometimes my mouth hurts from smiling.

September 22, 2010

I finally have a bed. I am so excited and supposedly my table is coming tomorrow. I already feel better about my house which in turn makes me feel about a hundred times better about my village and what I am doing here. I also had one of those days where you are suppose to be everywhere but can’t. I never understand how one can be so bored one day and then so busy they can hardly see the next. Today I was visited by my WEO (ward executive officer), Paul, and my friend Mathayo. Mathayo is from Kenya and lives in town. He is awesome, he was friends with all of the other PCV’s that lived in the area, so he understands how PC works and actually I think at the moment knows more about the village than I do. I am very lucky to have him here, he is kind of like and older brother looking out for all of us and explaining how things work.

Yesterday and today I had people come and talk to me about corruption and the state of the government and people within the town. This made me really sad and depressed for a bit because as much as I want to help people it is so hard to figure out who the good ones are and who the bad ones are. Hopefully time will tell and I hopefully I am a good judge of character. On another note Paul rented a bike for the month, so yesterday he went into town and of course didn’t lock his bike up. Needless to say it was stolen and now he has to explain to the shopkeeper in Kiswahili that he lost the bike. I feel so bad for him, even worse when I think of him trying to explain what happened in Kiswahili.

Also when you go to the bathroom, you always need to check the water bucket before you go for a cup of water to flush because if you are not careful you will find a lizard swimming in your water. I really thought me and the lizards had an understanding but when I saw him in my water, I freaked out. Both because he couldn’t get out and he strongly resembles a snake, especially when he was swimming. And as most of you know snakes scare me more than anything in the world.

September 23, 2010

I went with the WEO and VEO (government officials) to one of the subvillages today for a meeting only to find out that it had been canceled due to a death in the village. Which was fine, but we went around the whole village saying our condolences and I really thought that we were going to see the actual dead body. So I spent much of the time trying to stay calm and remember that I have seen dead bodies before. Something about Africa just make it seem a lot more scary.

August 7, 2010

I spent the last week shadowing another Peace Corps volunteer in Same, Kilimanjaro. We met her in Moshi. Moshi is very beautiful and clean. I went with a few other volunteers and probably saw more white people in a day than I have seen in the last 2 months. It was an amazing break from homestay, which I love but it is nice not to have someone looking over my shoulder the entire time and just to be able to read and relax and not speak Swahili. I really enjoyed this. We went to a really cool bar that had an outdoor movie theater along the water. So I got to get a drink and watch a movie, it reminded me of the scene in A Good Year. Moshi if you didn’t know is at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro so it is very touristy and has a lot of western influences such as a toilet seat.

After spending 2 months here, I think I have decided that if there is only one thing that I can do in Tanzania, it is to climb Mount Kili. So people that want to climb it need to start thinking about that now because although it sounds cool, it is also really expensive. I think it is about $1500 so start saving now. I also think that I am going to come home at some point because although everything is getting better here, it is hard being here. And I would love to see everyone. So hopefully this is going to be a possibility.

I have found out that I will be living in Dodoma, Tanzania for the next 2 years, which I am really excited about and scared about at the same time because I know how hard my first few weeks here were I can only imagine that they are going to be that much harder considering I will be living all alone. But I am ready for it and I know that it is going to take time to get use to and assimilate into the village. I also had a hard time when I first found out where I was going because it is nothing like where I imagined myself going, I had the same type of reaction when I found out I was coming to TZ but after a few days of letting it sink in I am really excited. At the moment I imagine that I am going to be living in the middle of the country in a desert type area kind of like Arizona.

August 8, 2010

The mouse that has been keeping me up at night has seen its last days. My mamma killed it outside the house today and then my brother came and brought it so me. I was still pretty scared of a dead mouse. I can handle cockroaches and huge insects but I draw the line at rodents. I am for sure getting a cat now. I also helped cooked dinner tonight. We had pilaf and chicken. The chicken was freshly killed by I am not sure but the feathers were plucked by my sister and I helped chop the body into pieces. It really wasn’t that disgusting I think the thanksgiving turkey is worse.

August 12, 2010

Today I visited an environmental lab and it was amazing. I am definitely a nerd for saying this, but we got to talk about soil, chemistry, and GIS, 3 of my favorite things. It was great. We also did some soil tests and this made me feel like I was back in class in Alberta. It was kind of nice. The trip also got my thinking about my research for a short while and all the resources I have available.

My family showed me pictures today of me and the family at my good bye party and after looking at them I remember why I didn’t want to get transition lens. The pictures were not pretty. Alex, Stephanie, Andrew, and Hannah you will also be sad to hear that I wore socks with my sandals out in public one day. I am becoming almost everything I cringe at on other people. I am not that far away from wearing a muumuu. I hope Africa is a good excuse for my fashion mistakes but even I don’t think that is a good answer. Let’s just hope they don’t fallow me back to the states.

If you didn’t already know, there are many things that me and my friends all talk about but mainly we only talk about 2 things: Food and Sickness. Today was a great day for that seeing as we all are at varying degrees of sickness at the moment and today was pie day. All we talked about was different types of pies and cobblers. It was amazing. I am thinking about trying to make a mango cobbler when I can finally cook for myself.

I have 5 more days at homestay and then I BECOME an actual volunteer. I am really excited and nervous because I will be on my own. I am also a little sad that I am leaving my Tanzanian family. I really enjoy them and feel very comfortable around them. I cannot wait for the day when I can have a full, good conversation with my mamma that doesn’t involve the food or being hot/cold. I told her in a year I would be able to have a good conversation with her, so hopefully I continue to progress in my language skills.

Also I finished The Da Vinci Code and it was amazing. I am not sure why I didn’t read this sooner. I have now started a Nancy Drew book and forgot how much I loved those books when I was little. This also reminded me of the time my dad left his car unlocked in front of the house and somebody stole my Nancy Drew books out of it.

August 13, 2010

Finished Nancy Drew and still managed to get scared from a book that was written for children in the seventies. I am such a scaredy cat.

Today I got to talk to my friend Mary who is leaving for Cameron in September. I wanted to tell her all about what I am going through and that I know it will be hard and at times you are really going to wish you were back home, but that it does get better and that it is all worth it. I am so excited for her to start her PST she is going to have so much fun.

I had my final test today and I find out Monday if I passed and if they are going to send me to site. It was a one on one ½ hour oral test. I was really nervous going into it, but I think that I did alright. I was able to understand and answer all of the questions which is a good sign now just to see if I answered as correctly as I thought that I did.

Walking to the shower today I thought how funny that it is that I have a cow that is literally 3 feet from where I shower. I have my own personal guard cow. And as for weird things that happen in Africa it turns out that I have a bacterial infection. From what you ask, my own sweat, even though I bath 2 times a day with soap in case you were wondering. Apparently I was not built for Africa and their warm weather.

August 14, 2010

I am so happy with my homestay family. They are so nice and make me feel at home here in TZ. I love them because they keep telling me that nothing can hurt me here that I am safe and for some reason I actually believe them. We were talking about when I will be living be myself and I said that I will be scared in the beginning. My mamma told me that I should use a bucket for the choo at night so I don’t have to go outside the house. I totally agree with her and will be doing that I am sure. But they are right nothing can hurt me, I just need to get over my fear of mice, snakes, and darkness.

So I have been living in Bagamoyo with Tala, Lola, Kenzi, and Alli. We all have to be the complete opposite of each other and in normal life probably would not be friends but since this isn’t a normal life, we are all friends, really good friends. I could not be more happy that they are the ones that I have been living with for the last 2 months. Tala is from California and is short. (Dad this is your fault that I refer to her this way) She is hilarious and is has so many good stories. She dropped a flashlight down the choo and lied to her mamma only to have her babba call her out on it because he saw it when it was lighting up the choo hole. Lauren aka Lola is from Florida and is white as can be. The African sun is not going to be good for her she burns all the time. She loves to dance. Kenzi aka Konzu is from Wisconsin and at the moment fits the stereotypical cheesehead because she worked in a high end cheese store for the last 3 years. I know you are wondering what a high end cheese store looks like and I am too. She also plays the bagpipes. And Alli is from Minnesota but has been living in Iowa. She loves Iowa and sailing. I love them all so much they have so many funny stores. Kenzi’s family wakes up at 4:15 in the morning and Hodi Hodi’s her so that by the 3:00 pm she is delirious and looks and acts like she is drunk because she is so tired. Lola had the unfortunate event of losing her phone, puking and having diarrhea, having only potatoes for dinner, and almost dropping her flashlight down the choo all in one night. Alli is awesome, she is fearless. She let her baba cut her hair. Mind you that her baba is a mason. But her hair looks really good.

August 15, 2010

Today I went with my CBT to Tanga for one last hurra before we leave for site. It was really nice, in an attempt to leave earlier I was suppose to go and get my friend Kenzi so her family could see that we were ready to go. The plan backfired and I ended up having breakfast twice and then we got to Tanga and had breakfast again. So today I feel extra fat. We then went to the beach which was amazing. Of course we all forgot our bathing suits but we decided to use our Khanga’s as bathing suits and went swimming. I think that it might have been our best idea yet. After that we went and ate pizza that was amazing. It was thin crust and baked to perfection.

August 17, 2010

I drank with my mamma at homestay last night. My baba kept insisting that I drank more, he told me he wanted me to drink 2 beers (4 American Beers) which I did and kept insisting that I drink more while the little kids kept asking if I was drunk (unalewa?).

We left homestay today and I could not be more happy about it. The family that I lived with were great but I am so ready to live out on my own and actually start my PC work. I learned a lot at homestay and will never forget all the wonderful people and things that I learned but now I am ready to move forward and start both my projects and begin to think about the research that I am going to do.

But I am very scared and excited at the same time because I have no idea what to expect and I am aware of how hard the first few weeks of homestay were I can only imagine that site will be a hundred times harder. I will be in a new village, were I don’t know anyone and they are probably not aware that I am coming. My village speaks both Kigogo and Kiswahili of which I only know a little Kiswahili and I moving into a house by myself with nothing in it. I get to spend the first few weeks preparing my house and getting to know both the village and the villagers which I am really excited about. I have decided that I am just going to continually put myself in awkward situations, so eventually they won’t be awkward anymore.

Also I passed all of my tests and am suppose to be able to speak at a intermediate high in Kiswahili which I am skeptical of but I have 2 years to work on it. We have a huge party and swearing in ceremony tomorrow. I already have the flask filled and ready to go. ( Al and Steph I thought you would enjoy that)

August 28, 2010

I have spent my first week at my site and it has already gone better than expected. I really thought that I was going to feel awful the entire week and totally dreaded it. But so far site has turned out better than expected. I am very happy with my house. I have 3 rooms and a courtyard. I am very happy about the courtyard because it makes me feel safer. The only problem was when I got to site I didn’t have a front door, so I have had a girl sleeping with me for the last week which I didn’t mind to much but I don’t want her to stay. I am kind of thinking it might be a ploy for me to have a house girl but I am not going to let that happen, I really want to live alone. The village is nice and I am at the base of a hill (small mountain by MI standards). I can get all of the staple crops of TZ minus fruit and bread which is nice. I don’t have electricity or running water or cell service in my house yet for that matter which really stinks but I am working on it. I bought a solar light that also charges a phone so that is really cool and has helped a lot.

Me and 2 other volunteers are new to the area, Randi and Paul. Paul is about a 2 hour walk from me and Randi is a bus ride away while also Jake, Claire, and Yue are close. I am also about a 2 hour walk from town or a bus ride away so I can get things that I need and have reliable cell service on somewhat of a regular basis.

In my village they speak both Kigogo and Kiswahili so it looks like I will be learning 2 languages simultaneously which I think is going to be a huge challenge but I think I am ready for it. I want to be able to speak with people and start to do some work so hopefully I can catch on fast.

July 4, 2010

I am really sad that I am not at the cottage today. I think this is only the second time that I have not been at the cottage on the 4th. The 4th is my favorite holiday, especially when we have theme weeks. I miss laying out in the sun and floating in the water. I am pretty sure that the cottage is my heaven on earth. But I think I am in the right spot at the moment even though it is hard to be here at times. I think that this experience is going to be amazing and I am hoping that I am at least a somewhat descent writer so you can get an idea of what Tanzania is like.

July 7, 2010

I am not really sure where to start so much has happened within the last few weeks. We left Dar es Salaam about 3 weeks ago and since then I have been living with my homestay family. I am in Bagamoyo, Muheza, Tanzania at the moment and go to school 6 days a week learning Kiswahili. It has been a really hard transition in that I am so unfamiliar with the language it is hard to articulate what I am trying to say. I now remember what it was like to be a 2 year old. There are 5 of us girls that learn together (Alli, Lauren, Kenzi, Tala, and me). We have become pretty close bonding on homestay and school.

My Tanzanian family includes my Baba, Mama, 2 dadas (sisters), and 5 kakas (brothers). They are all very helpful, sometimes a little too helpful in helping me understand. We live in a 4 room house. I seem to be one of the lucky ones that has a separate choo (bathroom) and shower area. We have lots of chickens and ducks that run ramp it everywhere and multiple roosters that love to be my alarm clock. My Baba is farmer. The cows hangout outside my front door. I have my own room which probably has the biggest bed I have ever slept in caged in by a mosquito net so I don’t get malaria. It also is a good shield against the 5 inch cockroaches and countless spiders. So far I have been one of the lucky ones not to have a pet popo (bat) in my room. We have no electricity or running water so I use a lantern at night and help fetch the water. I do carry it on my head but I still need at least one hand on it. My dada also gives me a top for my bucket. I hope to master head water bucket walking by the end of my stay. I have to say I am very thankful that I brought my head lamp it has been one of the things that I use most.

So far the best way to describe my living conditions is camping in the desert where you have to carry in all of your water and food and have no way to save any of it. A typical day for me consists of me waking up at 6:30 am and sweeping the yard. The yard consists of dirt with trash thrown everywhere. They don’t put their trash in the garbage, they throw it in the lawn. So every day I sweep the entire yard up and throw the dirt behind the house under the banana tree. So far this has been the one thing that irritates me most. Why aren’t there any trash cans, I just don’t understand. After that I help wash dishes and then I head off to my bucket bath. After that I have breakfast and my friend Kenzi picks me up for school. At school, we learn all about culture and grammar. I think this the hardest part of my day. I probably am on the verge of tears at least 3 times because I don’t understand or I think of home. I didn’t think it would be this hard to be away. The living doesn’t bother me as much as the lack of communication, that and my poor Kiswahili. I think I have the best teacher because he is very patient, especially when I get really mad and don’t understand. They construct their sentences so differently and think in such a different way. We have a chai break at 10 and lunch at 12:30. My favorite chai break is when we have chai made with milk and chapati ( a flat bread that reminds me of olgas bread but not as sweet). Lunch consists of rice, cabbage, beans, meat, and oranges as it is orange season at the moment. We usually take a walk before we return home and grab a soda. No beer at the moment because women drinking beer implies prostitution, something very useful to remember, that and smoking. At home I usually help cook a little and study. I then eat dinner and take another bucket bath and am in bed by 9. I really enjoy going to bed early it feels amazing. I think I have taken more showers in the last few weeks then I did in the month I was home.

I think that I am learning a lot and every day is getting better it is just so hard to adjust to this new way of life. There is a lot of sitting around and spending all day making the meals. We mainly eat rice, beans, and cabbage. My mama makes chapatti and andazi (donuts) which are amazing. I think the homemade donuts and milk chai are my favorite, especially since the milk in straight out of the cow. Probably the best meal ever. Aunt Tricia you are going to love the andazi and chapati recipies and the homemade chai. A lot of Tanzanians also eat ugali which is a stiff porridge. It is made with corn flour and water, it isn’t the worst thing I have ever had but it is pretty close, I might put the Hawaiian poi in front.

Last Sunday I helped make lunch and for a minute thought I was in Poland with Janek. I helped pull the heads of a gazillion sardines and the whole time I was just praying we were going to eat the tails and not the heads. Luckily it was the tails and I was able to eat it like a champ. This was one of the times that I thank god I don’t have a weak stomach. I also wash my clothes by hand. From my first time I have gathered that I am going to have great arm muscles by the end of my stay and my clothes are never going to be clean. I LOVE washing machines. Also American clothes just are not going to cut it with all this washing they were not built for the hand washing shenanigans.

July 8, 2010

I am not sure if I feel like I am in Africa yet let alone a developing country, it still feels like I am just camping. The village I live in, women are always covered up. They all wear skirts or dresses that cover their knees and arms. It amazes me that they don’t die from heat stroke. At the moment it is 77*F at 9 at night so you can imagine how hot it gets during the day, not to mention that it is the middle of winter. I cannot wait to see what summer is like.

My Tanzanian family is very interested to hear about America and where I am from. It is so hard to explain considering we have nowhere near the same climate. So I drew a picture with the months, temperatures, and some pictures of trees. I also found out not only is it hard to talk about the weather but it is even harder to explain the difference between a coniferous and deciduous tree. This was a conversation in itself, which then led to how trees get harvested and travel to the mill. My baba wondered if they still traveled by waterways. He learned this in school in 1964.

We went to Muheza the bigger city by us to learn about the market and found out that surprise because I am white, I am going to get ripted of. Slowly we are learning to bargain. To get there were had to take a dolla dolla (small bus), it is probably the equivalent of being 25 deep in the van, very crammed. The first time we rode it, the driver tried to make us pay 1500 shillings 3 times the normal price. Luckily we knew how much it would cost.

July 9, 2010

I talked to my mom and dad for the first time today which was really great. I was able to explain to them where I was and my dad googled it and was able to see the village that I am staying in. It was great to hear their voices and catch up a little. I was also able to talk to my Grandma and Aunt Tricia which was also really nice, especially talking to my grandma because I usually talk to her every Wednesday but at the moment that is not possible. While talking to them it made me realize I have not really explained what I am doing at the moment. At present there are 40 PCTs (Peace Corps Trainees), we do not become volunteers until we make it through training and have been sworn in, that are split up into different villages. Every village has 3-5 PCT that they go to school with everyday. On some days we all get together and learn. These days are called MATi days and are a much needed rest from the real world. We still have to learn but we also get to hang out.

Today was really great because at MATI, each village did separate skits on adapting to the new language and culture. Everyone’s skit were great and really funny. So many people brought up incidents or funny stories that happened to them within the first few weeks. It was really fun and entertaining. It was also nice to see that everyone is kind of in the same boat with adapting to the new environment.

July 11, 2010

Yesterday morning each village had to make a permagarden in their village. It went really well especially after talking to other groups. We planted a 1 m x 1m garden with swales and berms. On the berms we planted cassava and in the middle we planted cowpeas, African spinach, and corn. I am a little skeptical if our garden will actually grow due to the ramp it chickens (who have no fear) and our lack of remembering to water it. But I hope for the best. After gardening we met all the other PCT for volleyball, soccer, and tug-of-war. To start off the festivities, we saw some African dancers perform acrobatics. It was insane. They balanced off of old chairs and blocks that looked like if you were going to touch them they would break. I am pretty sure if one of them would have fallen, they would have died instantly. We also got apples for a snack yesterday and I think it might have been the best apple I have ever tasted. It came from the Mount Kilimijaro region.

Today I went to muskitini aka the Islamic mosque. I was suppose to go at 9 am but didn’t even leave until 11:30 due to other things. I am very happy for that considering we were still there for 3 hours. I cannot even imagine staying for the whole thing and I am pretty sure it started before 9. It was very interesting. I have never been to a Islamic mass before so it was really cool. The men and women sit separate from each other. The women have to have their legs and heads covered needless to say I also had my head covered and felt like I fit in well in Tanzania. I like to think it took some people a little bit longer to realize that I was in fact a white person. At the end of the service, everyone was given food to eat. It was fun to see but it also reinstalled I am so happy to be Catholic.

I also ate rice for the first time with my hands. I don’t think that it is something I prefer but now know I am capable and can do it with minimal clean up. And I think that sardines might be growing on me a little I had like 10 dry, salted ones and they seemed alright.

July 13, 2010

Last night at about 3 am I heard a loud noise and then my pen fell off my desk. To me this could only mean one thing, something or someone had fallen into my room from the ceiling. I then preceded to hear the scratching of metal on and off for the next few hours. This whole time I was curled up in a ball with my head lamp on trying to get the courage to see what it was. I finally fell back asleep and jumped out of bed this morning. I kept the door open so whatever fell in could get out. (Hannah this was almost as scary as the time the raccoons were scratching our tent at the lake and then we ran inside). I survived only to be greeted by a gecko falling from the ceiling at school and a frog meeting me in the shower. Oh wildlife.

I find it weird how fast my mood can change. I literally wanted to kill me teacher today and then later we went out for a soda together. It is so hard to learn and retain this language, especially when I don’t think like my teacher. He is a very good teacher and is very patient though, just not always straight forward.

July 15, 2010

Today we talked about where we could potentially be living. This made me really excited and scared because on one hand this means that I will get to actually live on my own and have my own space but then again this means that I will be on my own, ALONE. I know I will be happy where ever I get placed but at the moment I am really hoping for mountains or the southern highlands.

July 17, 2010

Scratch that we just arrived at the beach and I am pretty sure that I am never leaving. We have completely taken over the resort. The house that I am staying in is huge and all open. We have running water, electricity, and toilets. It is paradise. I awoke this morning to the sound of waves crashing on the shore and was able to see the sunset. I walked along the beach and say a ton of tiny crabs running all over as well as a bunch of sand dollars. I picked one up to give to my homestay family, it is so beautiful here. There is a really nice breeze and you can hear all of the waves crashing on the beach, if any of you have ever slept in Stephanie’s bed with Marge on, this is what it feels and sounds like. For breakfast we had fresh fruit, granola, cookies, granola, and cinnamon rolls with juice and coffee. I really think I might not leave.

Also I am working on taking a lot of pictures and when I have good internet I am going to upload them so you can see them, but at the moment the internet sucks so when this will happen I am not sure. I am trying to take a lot of pictures so you can see what my living conditions and Tanzania in general looks like.

I have started my wildlife count= 3 monkeys. I hope to add to this soon but I don’t see it happening for a while.

July 22, 2010

So the bat that I thought I was good with turned into a mouse. A mouse that I woke up to at 2 am to him walking on my net on to my head. His little feet were touching my hair. I am not ok with this. It has been a few nights and I am starting to get used to him but it has taken some getting used to and me realizing that something the size of my fist cannot hurt me.

This morning at school while we were all waiting to get picked up to go to MATI (school) my friend’s brother came running into the house and slammed the doors shut. We stood outside as men came up to the house with clubs in their hands, yelling that they needed to talked to Alli (Tala’s brother). Her mamma and grandma came out and starting yelling at the men and then they eventually left. It was really scary because we didn’t know what was going on or what Alli did. Our teacher walked up and explained to us that they were the guards of the village and they wanted Alli to go to a 2 month training to be a guard, but his mom said he was sick. The men then left. I am not sure if our teacher told us the truth or not but I would like to believe him. Also I have a hard time telling when Tanzanians are actually mad and angry as opposed to regular conversation sometimes. But everything was fine and I am glad that I experienced this and was with people when I did.

I learned to graft a tree today. I grafted together a mature mango with a young mango. This was done in order to have the tree produce faster. It was really cool. If I ever live in the south I am going to graft an orange, lime, and lemon tree all in one. We also had a seminar on TZ health and I found out that although I don’t know a lot about health, some people know even less. This scares me a lot.

I also had a test right before I left for vacation to see how I was doing so far with Kiswahili. I got a 81.5% on the written and an intermediate mid on the oral mid-term. I am really excited and this gives me hope that I will one day be able to have an actual conversation with people in Kiswahili.

July 29, 2010

I learned how to bake a cake without a cake mix and an oven. I have to say it turned out surprisingly well considering I am in the middle of Africa with nothing but a charcoal grill and some pans. It was a joint effort between me, Tala, and Kenzi.

If anybody is still wondering about my mouse, I have named him Henry and he greeted me yesterday as I was walking into my room. It is amazing how easily I was able to tell my family in Kiswahili that I just saw my mouse friend again. I now Hodi! Hodi! my room before I enter. I make as much noise as I possibly can.

Sunday I also had the fortune to get henna done. When I was younger I thought it always looked so cool and always wanted it. Be careful what you wish for. Instead of getting henna on the top of my hand, I now have it all over my toenails and one hand. My homestay family was really happy about it but I now look like I am dead. My nails look like they are dead. I will be painting them a lot with the pink nail polish that I bought because every time I look down I am a little more freaked out.

Also if you are looking for something new to cook. Sauté an onion in oil and then add some cut up cabbage and tomato. It is my new favorite dish.

So the pictures are not working out right now. I am going to try and send them later.

June 17, 2010

**Picture of me with luggage

Somehow I managed to get 27 months of stuff into 2 bags. I was pretty impressed and they only have a combined weight of about 60 lbs which is already more than enough weight to carry, so I cannot even imagine if I had more weight. I am not sure how people can do long plane rides, I thought that I would be able too, but I found my limit is about 15 hours anything after that makes me really restless. Uncle Jerry I don’t know how you do it. We flew from JFK to Zurich to Nairobi and on to Tanzania for a combined airport and flight time of about 24 hours.

I didn’t get a window seat but the people that did said that they saw giraffes running so I am pretty pumped to see all the wildlife and experience my first sightings. I have a feeling it is going to be like when you go to Yellowstone and get so excited for the buffalo but then by the end you just want the buffalo to go away. The top animals on my list are: a giraffe, elephant, and a flamingo.

When we arrived it was really hot and muggy and this was at 8:30 at night in the middle of winter. I think I am going to have some trouble with the heat but so far it isn’t too bad. It cools off late at night and for the next few days I have a fan. We are in the capital, Dar es Salaam staying at a convent. We each get our own room with a shower, real toilet, fan, and our very own mosquito net. I have to say it looks a lot like the way dad describes Sister Terence’s old room.

**Picture of Room

So far I have been given 2 shots and a dose of malaria medication, but they promise there will be a lot more shots from here on in. The staff seems wonderful and has been wonderful so far. When we arrived last night we were greeted with PB&J sandwiches, oranges, and bananas. Today for breakfast we had to the best of my knowledge a hot dog, crepe, donut, and a hush puppy. We then had tea which consisted of a Spanish omelet, samosa ( I really liked these), and toast with tea. We then also had lunch and dinner which both consisted of rice, noodles, beef, flat bread, and oranges. It was a very good. I have found out that they eat a lot of rice and beans and fry a lot of their food, so I don’t see me starving or losing any weight.

Packages

Here are some guidelines for sending me mail if you feel so inclined. When sending me letters and packages please number them so I know if I have received all of them or not. I have read that if you write the receivers name in red ink and write religious saying all over the box that it is more likely to get to me. We heard a story in training about a family that tried 4 times to send a package to their daughter and on the 4th time it made it because the mom cut open a stuffed animal and put it in the box with all of the cotton. (just an idea) I am not sure how the mail is yet but when I hear more I will definitely let everyone know.

Safety and Security

We had a guy come from the embassy today and talk about safety in Tanzania. He said that Tanzania was at critical crime and that it was due to petty crimes and transportation. He suggested to spread your money around, not carry more than you need to, and try and keep things out of sight and out of mind. He left with:

1. Don’t draw attention to yourself

2. Stick to public places

3. Stay Alert

4. Self-reliance

I am not sure what my access it to the internet yet, but my hope is to write a blog post for every week. Although that doesn’t mean that I will get to post every week. I might be posting a bunch at a time, not really sure yet.

Pit Latrine

June 19, 2010

***latrine picture

I had my first experience with a pit latrine today. I have been dreading it so I have not been going at school. But it wasn’t bad at all. Just a little awkward. You just need to make sure that you bring your own toilet paper because they don’t have any. I think I am just going to feel like I am camping for the next 2 years.

As for my room, I turned my lights off to go to bed last night and found out it was so dark I thought I would run into something. So I turned around to turn them back on and walked into the door and gave myself a fat lip.

I also just found out that for my home stay I will be living with a mama and a baba but am not sure if they have any children yet. We will be having language and culture class 6 days a week, From my home stay family, I am going to learn how to make traditional Tanzanian food, learn to wash my own clothes and use the coal iron, and how to work in the garden. It should be pretty exciting. I don’t think they know much English so hopefully I will become a master Kiswahili speaker by the end. Also the place we are going you cannot wear pants and your dresses need to be as close to the ankles as they can be. I brought 3 skirts and only 1 goes to my ankles, so I have some shopping to do. A lot of women wear kangas which are basically pieces of fabric that are wrapped around the waist. They look pretty comfortable, so I am going to pick a few of these up until I can get some clothes made.

We have started language classes and they are going ok, there is so much to learn it is overwhelming but to start out with we are learning the basics so that we can at least communicate with our home stay family when we meet them.

Remember when you all asked what shots and everything I needed, I can now tell you LOTS. They are spreading them out over the first 3 months and I can tell you so far that typhoid is the worst, I can hardly lift my arm. Also for malaria some take doxycycline which I took when I was on acne and when you don’t take enough water with it, the pill doesn’t go down and you feel as if something is trying to leap out of your chest. Luckily I don’t have to take that one. And the biggest health news so far is that I am no longer worried about getting malaria, I am more worried about a mango blister leaving eggs on my skins and me having to kill the larva and pull it out of my skin. I can deal with being sick but not with pulling insects out of my body. I have a hard enough time watching them come out of the bodies on The Mummy.

Out of the Gates

June 20, 2010

We were let loose into the streets of Dar es Salaam today after not being able to leave Mzisimba Center since we got here. We walked around the city in the groups that we are going to be learning with for the next 2 months. My CLF (culture and language facilitator) is Muhammad and he is awesome., very funny. I was asking about his family and he told me that he had 10 children and 10 wives. I just nodded, then he told me he was just kidding. We went to one of the largest outdoor markets in East Africa it reminded me of the market in Rome, Italy. I don’t remember the name of it. We were then shown the grocery store that also seemed like a European grocery store. You could get about everything there. They had peanut butter and nutella which I was really excited about. They also had a lot of dish wear. The hostel that we stay at if we have to come to the city is called the YMCA and really nice. I was very impressed. We walked around a lot and saw that most Tanzanians take very good advantage of the room they are given. Within the shops almost every square inch is covered with something to buy. I bought a kanga today to wear during homestay, a chocolate bar called chocopop (not very good), and some toilet paper. I was very satisfied. I also went on my 1st dolla dolla today which is a bus. The Embassy says not to use them at all and the Peace Corps says yes. Very Interesting.

The people that we encountered were very nice and friendly. We were the only white people for the most part which was a little uneasy but this is my first time into the real Tanzania. We were obviously looked at a lot and they all said things to us. We for the most part said hi and how are you as well. We did have some people follow us but they left after a while.

Everything is so cheap here, it is unbelievable. The exchange rate is $1.00 to 1420 tsh. The means in real terms that you can get a beer for $1.00 and a pop for 50₵. AND the best part is that they all come in glass bottles.

These are some of the plants that we have seen so far:

***picture

Banana Tree

***Picture

Cassava

***Cassava

Not sure of the name but if you boil these leaves and make soap with the water it has insect repellent and antibacterial properties.

It is also sad to say that I am starting to get sick of the food a little bit. We have had pretty much rice, beans, cabbage, and potatoes for lunch and dinner every day. Luckily I will be able to cook my own food and will be able to add some variety to my diet. I have been thinking about what type of food that I could make for my homestay family and so far all I have come up with is guacamole. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

***Picture Of food

Hannah this for you. This is what I had for dinner last night. It was rice, cabbage, and red sauce that I mixed all together. I had that with some chai tea.

Hi everyone and welcome to my BLOG, this shall be my life line while I am in Tanzania.

As of right now I have 3 weeks until I leave and have a lot to do. I have started to pack, but I have a lot of stuff still to do and am having a hard time getting ready considering that it is really nice out now and I really need to work on my tan if I am going to compete with this family.