After a lot of thought, I have decided to come home permanently. I'll be home sometime next week.

What made me decide this? It's not the teaching, because it's gotten easier and I'm enjoying the kids. Even though they can be annoying and really slow, they're cute and they make me laugh. So it's not that. I'm lonely and unhappy here because I miss my family and friends a whole lot more than I thought I would. It was not an easy decision to make, but I know what I'm doing, and this is what's best for me right now. I have changed so much for the better in the past four months and even more so in the past few weeks.

When I'm home, I will apply for jobs, continue to do volunteer work, and study for the GRE. And eat a LOT of Mexican food. So, that's the end of my blog. Thanks for reading.

Hello!

First, I'm so sorry I haven't posted pictures. I tried to post one and I sat there for half an hour while it was uploading and it still didn't upload. I will try to find a high speed connection somewhere so that I can post…I'm sorry. I promise I have not forgotten.

The big news is that I'm finally moving into my house this week. My own little two-bedroom house. I promise I'll post pictures as soon as I can. I am really excited.

Teaching has gotten a lot easier. The kids are starting to grow on me, and I even really like some of them now. The weeks fly by faster and faster. My colleagues are all great.

Sorry, nothing too exciting yet. I don't have any stories to tell. I do have to say, though, that the sky in Namibia is incredible. It's just so…big. And starry. If you look westward at sunset, the sky might be bright blue and streaked with neon pink clouds, and if you look eastward you might see fluffy gray clouds against a smoky violet sky. When it gets really dark, the stars come out in huge numbers. It's beautiful.

I knew I was in Africa last week because a goat was being slaughtered right below my balcony. I was horrified yet fascinated. I also felt sorry for the little guy.

I hope everything is well at home.

Also, if AC and/or Fiona are reading this, I accidentally left your contact information at home. Please send me an email with your address. I'd love to send you a postcard.

Teaching is getting easier each day. I'm really homesick but that should get better too. I am trying unsuccessfully to upload some pictures. I promise I haven't forgotten about it!! I hope everything is fine at home.

    Today was my second day teaching. Since there is a teacher absent due to an in-service training (held during the first two weeks of school – WHAT THE HELL?!), I am teaching eight periods straight without being able to take my allotted two free periods for rest and/or prep. I am exhausted, stressed and angry. The exhaustion will pass when the absent teacher returns. The stress will pass as time goes on and I get used to teaching and used to my learners. But the anger – the anger is at the Namibian Ministry of Education. How in the world can you possibly expect these kids to give a crap about school when they only need a 30% score to pass a class?! What in the world is going on here?! Low expectations bring low results. I looked at the grades of these kids from last year….it was rare to see anything above a C. In the U.S., a C is 70-79%, not something to be proud of. But here, a D is 30% and a C is 40%! To pass a class, you must get a D. This is unreal. I mean, they told us this at training, but that was when I was in my safe zone and had no idea how difficult teaching would be. Now that I'm in class during the day, facing children whose only goal is to get 30% in each class…it is appalling. Hello, reality. This is going to be the toughest thing that I ever do. I know it. And I plan to live a long time. Unbelievable.

    Why did I come here? Can I really make a difference in this country? Why is it that I was able to make it through high school and on through college? It's not because I'm American. My oldest host brother Otjiwarongo is in his third year of college. My younger host brother passed the grade 10 national exam with flying colors and plans to go to college in South Africa to study mineralogy. And my little host sister wants to be a doctor. What is the difference between these kids and the kids I am teaching now in Noordoewer? The parents. My host mother would not allow her children to not do their homework. She and her husband don't make a ton of money but they paid higher school fees so that their kids could attend a "white school" (which, not surprisingly, is much better than a black school). When my brother did so well on the national exam, they had a party. The parents of my learners, for the most part, could not give a flying fig if their kids do well in school or not. And why should they? In Noordoewer, where I am living and working, you will find a shebeen (a bar) for every fifteen or twenty houses. I am not exaggerating. You can't throw a stick around here and not hit a shebeen. But how about toys? Or books? Or crayons or paper airplanes or art or anything else to spark the imagination, for goodness sake?! No. You just drink til the sun comes up, and when it comes up you drink some more. I am not kidding! I have seen this with my own eyes. I saw it today. Some people work, and some don't, but it doesn't matter. Alcoholism is a problem here. So what we have is parental apathy, horrifically low educational standards set by the government itself, and no reason in sight to do well in school. Under these circumstances, would you push yourself to study hard? No. I probably wouldn't either. So why in the world am I here?

    What drives me up the wall even further is that I at any minute, I could pick up my phone and call the Peace Corps office and tell them I want to go home. Within 48 hours I would be home safe and sound. What is stopping me? What keeps me here? Me. I'm sorry. But it's true. I know that I can make a difference here, but if you want to know the truth, the difference that I will eventually make here is so small, so miniscule that I can't claim any compassionate reason to stay. I'm here for myself. At this point, even so early in the game, if I ever do end up making a speck of difference, it will be a bonus. Don't get me wrong. I am not going to stop trying. I just know that the problems in the system here would require some kind of educational revolution of sorts, or a complete and total overhaul, and being that I am here under very strict guidelines and restrictions (forbidden to discuss politics, drive a car or ride in the back of a truck, etc.) I have no way of making that happen. If I were to speak out, I'd be sent home; even if I were to speak out, let's remember that Namibia only earned its independence in 1990. It is still an incredibly young country, and when America was 18 years old, were we thriving and flourishing? I am going to do what I can with what I have and hope that some day, in the future of one of my learners' lives, I will have inspired him or her to just try a little harder and make that learner know that he or she is capable of whatever accomplishment is desired. That is all I can do.

    In the meantime, I will continue to go through a rollercoaster of emotions while I try to teach my kids. In about an hour, after I wake up from my nap, I'll look in the mirror and feel proud of being a PCV. I'll feel like I'm on top of the world. Then I'll be homesick for my mom. Then I'll be excited about the first school term being over so that I can travel around the country with my friends. If you think a pregnant woman is moody, you've never been a PCV before. But then again, I've never been pregnant before.

    

    Our swearing-in ceremony was Wednesday. Since the eight o'clock news on Thursday, I have had at least 10 people say to me, "hey, didn't I see you on tv?" Unfortunately, the answer is yes. I somehow was first in line to enter the hall, which put me in the first seat in the corner, right smack dab in front of the news camera. Great. What also makes it kinda funny (kinda) is that a few of the PCVs gave speeches in the local languages, and the girl who did the Afrikaans speech was also Asian…and since we all look alike, some people thought it was me giving that speech. Ha, ha. Anyway, there went my fifteen minutes of fame.

    It is weird being Asian-American here. I have had only a few negative experiences related to this, but they have angered and frustrated me so much that whenever I meet a Namibian, I immediately brace myself for some kind of "you don't look American" comment. During my site visit, my boss took me to a neighboring settlement. A group of three little boys came upon me and immediately started yelling, "China! China!" and one of them did a karate chop. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him hard. Martial arts movies are really popular here and consequently will be the bane of my existence for the next two years. I also frequently have conversations like this:

Me: Hello, my name is Jennifer. Nice to meet you.

Namibian: Where are you from, Jennifer?

Me: I'm from America.

Namibian: Oh. (pause) Are you from Japan?

This is always followed by a really sarcastic comment going on inside my head, for example, "Are you deaf, you moron?" I mean, why don't they ask the white people where their ancestors came from? In all fairness, though, Namibians don't question my nationality out of any bad intentions. On the news, in the movies, most of anything you see here from America, features mostly white people. Why wouldn't they think that all Americans are white? Also, my 20-year-old host brother, who is a third-year college student, had no idea that China is just one country in this mysterious region of the world called Asia. Nobody ever told him, I guess. Nevertheless, the minute somebody calls me "a China" (which is what they call any Asian person) I am immediately on the defensive. More rants about this are sure to come.

Also, in many towns you can also find "China shops," where you can buy anything and everything imported from China, from hats to jewelry to pots and pans to handbags and blankets and everything in between. The people who own the China shops are from China (you guessed it), and when I went into a China shop a couple weeks ago, a customer asked me the price on an item. She thought I worked there. That really pissed me off. Strangely enough though, when I went into a China shop last week looking for some stuff, I really enjoyed talking to the Chinese people working there. Of course, they asked me if I was Chinese, but I didn't even mind. I don't know why. Maybe because I haven't encountered much ethnic diversity in the past couple months and was happy for a change. Or maybe I was glad to interact with someone who looked a little bit like me. I really don't know. But anyway, China shops are an obvious reason as to why China is pretty much the only known Asian country around here. They aren't called Thailand shops. I know I will continue to be questioned about my nationality in the next two years, and therefore need to just get over it, but I don't see it as something I will ever get used to. But, maybe I will. You never know.

If you're reading this, shoot me an email and let me know what's going on with you! I will post more in the next couple days…take care!

    Hi everyone! Sorry, it has been a while since I've posted. Training is over and since Wednesday, I have officially been a Peace Corps Volunteer. Wahoo! I have a lot to share, so this posting will be long and possibly jumbled. Bear with me.

    I spent the third week of November in Noordoewer, visiting my site for the first time. (More about my site later.) The fourth week of November was spent shadowing a current volunteer. That was the most difficult week for me since leaving home. Even though it was final exam week and no actual teaching was going on, I saw how difficult it is to teach in Namibia. In a single 7th-grade class, for example, you might have kids that are anywhere from 12-16, and their ability levels vary widely. How is it possible to teach each of these kids while being fair to all the rest? By that I mean that if I spend extra time helping out a learner who is a little slower than most, then what happens to the gifted learner? She becomes bored, and with boredom comes a lack of motivation and possible disciplinary problems in class. (Btw, in Namibia, a "learner" is a K-12 student, and a "student" is a university student.) But if I cater to that gifted learner, the slow kid gets more and more behind. And how about all the ones in between? These are all questions that I have yet to answer. School starts Wednesday and I am scared to death, now more than ever.

    The other reason that week was so difficult for me was because I was homesick. I came so close to quitting and going home. I have never been away from home for this long before, and the fact that I am in a completely unfamiliar environment and culture, certainly does not help. Every time I got off the phone with somebody from home, I would cry and cry and ask myself what in the world I was doing here. Even though I was among fellow trainees that weekend, I wanted nothing more than to just beam myself home. Every second was spent imagining what was going on at home and what my family and friends were doing, and what I'd be doing if I was with them. As I was trying to talk myself into accepting defeat, I told myself that while one reason I joined the Peace Corps was to make a difference, I can always make a difference at home. There are lots of things that I could do in the U.S. that would make a world of change in other peoples' lives. Just because I'm leaving Namibia, does that mean I'm missing out on my chance to affect change? Of course not. Which, looking back, is still true.

    A number of times that week, I had my hand on my cell phone, ready to call Peace Corps and tell them, "I quit!" What made me decide against that? Here is the honest answer. As I just stated, one of the three reasons I joined was to make a difference. The other two reasons were to have an adventure and to add something spectacular to my resume when I apply to grad school and jobs. Those two reasons are obviously for my own personal benefit, and before I came here, they were secondary reasons for joining PC. Altruism was my main motivator. Now, after feeling more homesick than I ever thought I could, feeling more alien and out of place than I ever thought I could, and feeling so much anxiety about teaching, what is keeping me here is reason three: my resume. I came here for the sake of others, but I'm staying for my own sake.

    Before you decide that I'm a selfish punk, please keep in mind that I still want to contribute to Namibia's future by teaching its children. It's still one of the three reasons I'm here. It's just moved to the back of the line. I have only officially been a PCV for three days, but it has not been easy. Knowing that I'll benefit from this down the road, is what is keeping me sane. (So far.)

    What sucks about training is that you are shuttled around like a bad fruitcake at Christmas. You move from place to place, don't have as much privacy as you're accustomed to, and have to live out of a suitcase. That is the worst part. I've been in this country for two months and still have not been able to really unpack my things, because I know that in a few days I'll have to pack up again and go somewhere else. At this moment, I am in a government flat in Noordoewer. It is definitely one of the Top Ten Dirtiest Apartments in the World. The floor is thick with dust, there are cobwebs everywhere, trash left here by the previous occupant, and whats really gross are the cobwebs with brown dust stuck to them. They look like brown fireworks. And I won't even talk about the bathroom. My boss agreed that it was a disgusting flat, but it was also the only one available tonight, so tomorrow morning I am moving into a different flat right after another occupant moves out. My little house on the school campus is not ready yet, so I'll be staying here for a couple weeks while it is prepared for me. Which means that I still can't fully unpack! I just want so badly to get settled and start my life here. Soon enough, soon enough.

    For the month of December, we had what is known as Community-Based Training, or CBT, which is when you stay with a host family, and if you are an education volunteer, you teach at "model school." My CBT experience was not bad. My host family was really nice. They were accommodating, friendly, and easy to talk to. I had a bedroom of my own (as was required by PC) the entire house was kept very clean. The only negative experience that I had was the food. As is typical of Namibians, they eat a lot of white rice, pasta and red meat. They also don't refrigerate their mayonnaise or ketchup, which is revolting. I did cook a few times. The first time, I made chicken with onions and garlic. I am not terribly experienced with cooking, which is why the chicken was undercooked. How embarrassing. The second time, I made fried rice. The soy sauce they have here is crap. It is thick and syrupy and too sweet. I thought I did an okay job with it, though, until my host dad slathered his fried rice in mayonnaise. When he finished his plate, he told me it was delicious. I'd have to say the experience with my family was positive, though. I do plan on keeping in touch with them, and we plan to visit each other during my service.

    My experience with model school wasn't as good as that with my host family. The kids were rambunctious. They would not shut up! Even when I promised that if they behaved, we'd play a game (they love games), they still didn't behave, and when we played games and they misbehaved, I'd cut the game short, which was followed by a lot of groans and whining…but did they learn their lesson for the next day? No. Which is why classroom management is my biggest concern. I can think of lesson plans and curriculum and stuff like that, but if my actual students are as rowdy as the model school kids were, it's gonna be a long two years. In addition to that, I had the aforementioned problems of learners at different skill levels. Woo hoo. What a ride this will be.

    The best part of CBT was that it was a smaller group, only about 15 of us, versus the entire group of 70. I got to know my peers pretty well, and made some good friends. After school, we would go out for pizza at this amazing little restaurant. The pizza was better than in the states!! Our favorite was the Bongo pizza, which had mushrooms, bacon, pineapple and onions. It was delish. We would also go to the Super Spar often. Spar is a grocery store chain here that is comparable to any Vons or Ralphs, which is why we love it so much. It's the closest thing we have to home. And if Spar is so great, you know that Super Spar is gonna be fantastic. It was. At any given moment, you could count on there being at least one PC trainee in there.

    That is all for today. Thank you for reading. I have internet on my laptop now, so I can blog regularly!! I will write more in a couple days, so please check back! I will post pictures soon, too.

Hi everyone! Okay, I'm silly...I had a really long blog typed out on my laptop so that when I came to the internet cafe I could just copy and paste it from my flash drive. Great idea except that I forgot to put it on my flash drive, so here I am blogging a quickie. Nothing terribly exciting yet except that my permanent site is called Noordoewer, right on the border of Namibia and South Africa. I'll be teaching English, social studies and possibly math, plus creating a school library. I'll also be working with an NGO called Catholic Aids Action, helping them to write grant proposals, letters and with fundraising, and I also intend to start a girls club. That is all for now. There is more and I promise to blog it as soon as I can! I miss all of you and I hope everything is well at home. Have a wonderful week!

Hello family and friends! How is everything? I have been away from home for about three weeks now and I have a lot to share. Forgive me for not calling you back, writing back or calling you. I have been busy since I left home and also have not had much money to spend. So, I’m sorry.

I will start from the beginning. It might seem like I’m skipping over details, but honestly, while it has been a positive experience so far, it hasn’t been an amazing experience yet. If you want to know any particulars, email me or leave a comment.

On Sunday, Oct. 29 I arrived in DC, where we stayed in Georgetown. It’s a pretty nice neighborhood, kinda like La Jolla in that it’s upscale, historical and charming…cute boutiques and cafes and stuff like that. That night a few of us went out for a couple beers and got to know each other. The next morning another volunteer and I went to the Holocaust Memorial. If you ever get a chance to go, I highly recommend it. Despite my bad memory it is one of the experiences I know I will never forget. Anyway, when we came back to the hotel it was time for registration, where we filled out paperwork and all that good stuff…yawn…and then we got to know each other. There is a group of 70 of us so there were a lot of people to meet (and I still don’t feel like I’ve really met some of them). The next couple days consisted of lectures, interactive activities and group work related to topics like culture shock, aspirations, and so on. During my free time I went out with other volunteers for lunch and dinner. What else do you want to know? It wasn’t so exciting, I’m sorry to say. I think we all just wanted to get to Africa.

On the morning of Wednesday, October 31 (Halloween, of course) at 5:00 am we packed up all of our stuff and boarded buses to the federal health center in DC for immunizations, and since I only needed one shot and got it done quickly, a couple other girls and I went to see the Korean War memorial and the Vietnam War memorial. They were both great and I don’t know how to describe them but both are highly recommended if you ever go to DC. On a sidenote, I really liked DC! It was never on my list of places to see and do, but (and this will sound stupid) I had no idea that there are so many museums there, and they are all FREE! Gotta love it. Someday I will go back and see everything.

After departing from the clinic we went to the airport…we got there around noon or one and our flight was going to be at 5. I thought we’d have a ton of time to kill but with all of the international security checkpoints and all that hoo-hah, we didn’t have a ton of time to kick back. However, I did get my final meal of sushi and seaweed salad, which was thoroughly enjoyed and will be missed for the next 27 months. Oh, and for dessert I had a double scoop Ben and Jerry’s cone – Cherry Garcia and Coconut Almond. I enjoyed every bite.

When our plane was boarding and I finally go to the front of the line, the ticket agent said that part of my ticket was missing! The missing portion had been torn off by a different agent during security checkin. So I had to back to the counter and get a new ticket printed, and of course I was panicking the whole time that I’d miss my flight and would never get to be a Peace Corps Volunteer after all!!

But everything was fine and I boarded the plane with time to spare. :o)

The flight was 15.5 hours on South African Airlines. It was decently comfortable. Each seat had a tv screen in front, where you could watch a number of movies, documentaries and tv shows, play games or listen to music. I watched Guru (a Hindi movie) and a bad sitcom called Rules of Engagement. Guru was good, Rules was not. It was so dumb. Not even Full House dumb in that it was funny, but just plain not funny whatsoever. Guru was enjoyable but I wish it had more song and dance scenes. As for the plane food, it was not so good. I had “beef stroganoff” which sucked, and a cheese sandwich (cheese in a bread roll). Toward the beginning of the flight, I asked the attendant for a sparkling water and was handed a little bottle of whiskey. Huh? I decided to keep my mouth shut about it, and stuck it in my carryon where eventually it was confiscated during the security checkpoint in the Johannesburg airport.

Is this even interesting? I don’t know what you want to know but I feel like this just isn’t fun to read.

Overall the flight was not as awful as I thought it would be. I slept on and off and generally it was okay. The seats were fine but not so good for sleeping more than an hour and a half or so at a time. When we arrived in Johannesburg (“Jo-burg” as they call it) we sat around and waited for our transportation to the hotel, which despite Jo-burg’s bad reputation for a crime-filled city, was super nice! It had a huge lobby, free wine and cheese, a wine bar, gift shop, fancy Italian restaurant and nice soap and shampoo in the bathroom. I did not get a chance to explore the city, since we weren’t allowed to leave the hotel (again, it’s a dangerous city), but I did have “peppadum feta spinach cannelloni” for dinner. Peppadum is a bread-like filling, maybe like stuffing. It was good. I dunno.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I think it was the combination of the time change plus the anticipation and anxiety. I slept for about three hours and then woke up for the morning around 3 am, then got out of bed around 5. I went downstairs and ran into a fellow PCV. Chatting and drinking tea ensued. It was fun to get to know other volunteers as they woke up and came downstairs to find something to do. Most of us only slept about three or four or five hours that night. Most people had only slept a teeny bit in DC too, which meant there were a lot of exhausted, anxious people milling around the hotel lobby.

Then we went back to the Jo-burg airport, and after more waiting and standing in lines we got on the plane to Windhoek, Namibia!! It was only a two hour flight but they actually served us breakfast. It was an omelet that was actually pretty decent. As we flew over Namibia all you could see was brown, brown, brown with the occasional road or dry stream running through it. There was really NOTHING there. No joke.

When we got off the plane at the Windhoek airport (it was a field with a couple buildings) we stood in line some more and waited some more. Thankfully, all my baggage arrived. I was one of the lucky ones. A couple of us still don’t have our bags and they probably won’t come. So after more waiting and waiting, we got on a bus to Okahandja, a town about 45 minutes north of Windhoek. During the drive we saw a boar, an antelope, a monkey and a giraffe!! So exciting! Hello, Africa!

We are at a conference center until the end of next week, where we are living and having training. I will tell you about a typical day. We get up around 6:30 and have breakfast at 7. Breakfast usually consists of porridge, oatmeal, bread, hard boiled eggs and sausage. The only kind of coffee you can get in Namibia (apparently) is instant. The first morning I thought the instant coffee was cinnamon and sprinkled it liberally all over my oatmeal.Gross. I forced myself to eat most of it. Anyway, after breakfast we finish getting ready and are in the training room by 8. The trainers (who are all Namibian) sing Namibian songs and we PCVs do our best to sing along. I think we’re doing well so far with the singing. Our training group even has our own anthem! That is rather awesome if you ask me. However, all the songs are in a different language so we have yet to find out what the lyrics really mean. After the singing, we have language training for two hours, then “tea” which consists usually of cookies or bread with some cheese or mayo (or something) on it. Then we have some other miscellaneous training session about safety, diversity, culture or otherwise.

Lunch is at 1. There have been a variety of foods so far but there is always meat, and some starch like pasta or potatoes or rice, and veggies sometimes. I haven’t eaten anything crazy yet but the meat isn’t always so appealing to me so sometimes I skip it. There are veggies maybe 50% of the time and usually they are in some kind of creamy sauce or cooked somehow. Consequently, my diet has mainly consisted of carbs in the past week. I don’t see weight loss happening anytime soon. Anyway, last week after lunches we had medical training. We talked about specific diseases, HIV/AIDS, sexual assault, general hygiene, etc. This week (our second week at training) we have technical training which means we get trained according to the job we’re going to do. Then, depending on the day, we get shots. I have had many shots in the past week while I’ve been here (not counting the shot in DC), and there are certainly more to come. In addition to the shots, we also take a weekly malaria medication called mefloquine, so we’re all definitely pumped up with a zillion disease crime fighters in our bodies. I guess it is good to be armed against diseases but it also feels very artificial to be injected with all of these medications.

Now I will tell you about sleeping arrangements. I share a room with seven other females, but the room is actually split in two with a door in the middle, so there are actually only 4 or us in my room. There are two regular beds and one bunk bed where I sleep on the top. It is such a pain to get up and down that dang ladder every morning and night. We have plenty of space for now but it will be really nice when we move to our permanent sites and can spread out and truly unpack. Right now all our stuff is really in our bags and we just take it out as needed, then mostly put it back when it’s not. The bed is actually comfortable and I sleep pretty well. The mefloquine is known for giving you vivid dreams at night. Last night I didn’t have any exceptional dreams but I knew the medication was running its course because I felt in my dreams as if I was really, actually there…more so than usual. It was pretty weird. Luckily they were not bad dreams because that would have been horrible.

The town we’re staying in is called Okahandja, which is about 45 minutes north of Windhoek, the capital. (Btw, Windhoek is pronounced “Vend-ook” by the Namibians but if you don’t want to be that hardcore about the pronunciation you can say “wind-hook.”) Okahandja is a sleepy little town but apparently by Namibian standards it is quite urban. There are a couple of clothing shops, a few grocery stores, a hardware store, a stationery store, two gas stations, two banks….not a lot there but as we don’t have cars or any form of transportation besides our legs, we end up “going into town” as often as possible to escape the confines of the training center. Don’t get me wrong, the center is pretty nice. It just sucks to be stuck in the same place for so long.

I have no idea when I’ll be able to write again. Internet access is super limited so I’m actually writing this in advance so that when I get to the internet café I can just cut and paste into my blog. I feel like I’m so far away from everything and at the same time I haven’t really experienced Namibia yet. Somebody said that right now we’re in purgatory. We’ve left the US and have begun our training but have yet to actually experience culture first-hand. It’s just a lot of waiting. Waiting in line for registration, at the airport, at the hotel, for meals, for shots…it’s just waiting.

I do have great news though. There are about five or six languages that trainees are learning, and I was hoping to get Afrikaans because unlike the localized tribal languages, it is used throughout most of the country. When I travel, that will be great. Also, even though I know it’s not common, it’s more likely that I’ll be able to use Afrikaans when I come home. It’s definitely not widespread as Russian or Chinese but I’m pretty sure I’ll get better mileage out of it than a clicking language (which several of us are actually learning). So far I have learned to introduce myself, say where I’m from, exchange greetings and pleasantries like “good morning” and “sleep well” and classroom phrases like “sit down” and “please speak louder;” I have also learned how to say things like “I am hungry” and “I have had enough meat.” Haha! Isn’t that funny! Apparently it’s not uncommon for PCVs to become fluent in Afrikaans by the end of their service, so that is something I am aiming for. I think it could happen. There are a lot of similarities between Afrikaans and English, for example “melk” is milk, and “middag” is afternoon (or midday).

I found out today that I’ll be teaching grades 5-7.

My feet are perpetually dirty here. No amount of soap will get all the dirt out, nor will any number of hours scrubbing them with my pumice stone. The first thing I’m doing when I get to the states is to get a super deluxe pedicure!!

The weather here is HOT. Hot and dry, like when I visited Scottsdale w/ Erin. You don’t sweat, it’s so dry. Today was even hotter than it has been…on our walk to town, I felt like I just couldn’t go any further. The sun is so draining. Plus today it wasn’t just my feet that were dirty – my legs were gross too, with nasty black splotches everywhere. I really have no idea how that happened. So, if you visit me, you can look forward to dirty feet and hot weather. Wahoo!

After this week, we leave the training center and go to our permanent sites for a visit. (Nobody knows what or where their permanent site is yet, so that’s driving us all nuts.) After a week at our permanent site, we go to a different place to shadow a current teacher for a week. Then, for one month, we stay with our host families. It is one volunteer per host family, but you stay in the same town as your language group for Community Based Training, or CBT. During CBT you learn about local culture, keep learning the language, and generally interact with the community. I’m nervous about that, actually. It is hard for me to introduce myself to people on my own without the other person trying first. I just get so scared and full of self-doubt. That’s part of why I joined PC though, so I’m sure CBT will be beneficial.

What else do you want to know? Write to me. I promise to try to get back to you as soon as I can, which probably isn’t very soon but I’ll do my best. After I officially swear in as a PCV and go to my permanent site, I hopefully will have internet on a semi-regular basis.

As for a mailing address, I am not too keen on posting it in a public place. Email me if you want it. If you don’t have my email, leave me a comment and show some ID, and I’ll be happy to give it to you.

From what I understand, letters and postcards take three weeks but as the postal workers go on holiday in December, it could take three months right now. AARGH!! If you decide you want to send me some items (thank you!!!) it is best to use a padded envelope (not a box) and address it to Sister Jennifer ___ , and in the return address put that you’re Reverend Somebody from Holy Cross Church or whatever. Then write some religious phrase on the package like “Jesus Saves.” I guess they often tamper with mail here, but are less likely to tamper with something church- or religion-related.

Write me and tell me how you’re doing. I miss everybody. Like I said, I feel so far away. If you think you have nothing to tell me, share what you had for breakfast, what movies you watched recently or what you bought when you went shopping. I want to know!

I miss you all!

I was going to post some pictures of Okahandja but the ones I have are huge, so that picture is of a store. I haven't actually been to this store but it's the most interesting looking one. The rest of the stores are set up like a strip mall that goes down the entire length of the main road. Nothing exciting really.

I had four pages worth of info to share with you, but this stupid internet cafe won't let me use my flash drive, so please stay posted and hopefully I can upload the story soon. In a nutshell, everything is fine. The weather is hot and the food is not bad.

Love

Jenn

Hi again. Tomorrow we are taking off for Africa after a what-looks-to-be chaotic round of checking out of the hotel and then getting about fifteen shots each. Ouch. I am not looking forward to that. Then at 5pm (DC time) we will fly to South Africa, which is a 15.5 hour flight. We'll stay overnight in Johannesburg and then fly to Windhoek (Namibia's capital) the next day. So there I'll be, happy to finally be accomplishing a longtime goal, excited for a new adventure and very, very sad to be so many miles from home and from you (assuming you're a family member or friend of mine). I'll post again when I get a chance.

(I was joking about the 15 shots. I really have no idea how many we're getting, but I'm hoping it is 1-3.)

If you want to mail me something, please email me for my mailing address. If you don't have my email address, please send me a comment. Normally I'd just post the address here but I'm paranoid about those kinds of things. Also, I should be getting a cell phone shortly after arriving in Namibia so I will be happy to share that number when I have it.

Hello everyone!

Here I am in DC. I arrived last night (Sunday). I'm staying in Georgetown and it's a great little town. It kinda reminds me of La Jolla in that it is charming and beautiful with cute little shops. On Sunday night I met up with a group of volunteers and we went out for pizza and beer. This morning I went to the Holocaust Memorial (highly recommended) and then we had our first day of training. It seems like everybody has the same anxieties as I do, which is comforting.

I am happy so far. I would write more if I wasn't dead tired right now, but I promise my postings will be more exciting than this in the upcoming weeks.

Here is a poem I saw at the Holocaust Memorial. It struck a cord with me and I think you'll like it too. This is one of several translations from German, and the poem is attributed to Martin Niemoller.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out -because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out -because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out -because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak for me.

FAQ about my upcoming Peace Corps service in Namibia: 1. How long will you be gone?

I will be gone for 27 months, returning home in December 2009. See the previous post for my timeline. 2. Will you come home at all during this time?

Probably not. I’d have to pay for it myself and I’d rather spend my money exploring Africa while I’m there. 3. Will you be getting paid? I will be earning a enough money each month to cover basic expenses such as food and rent, but probably not enough to save much unless I really watch it. However, I accrue just over $200 per month while I'm there, and I will recieve this money at my close of service; approx. $6000.00. This is my resettlement allowance so that when I come home, I do have money for rent and food. 4. What will you be doing? I will be an English (language) teacher at the primary or secondary level, which is grades 5-12. I will also have secondary projects, to be determined upon arrival and during my service. 5. Are you scared? Yes. I am scared to death. (I am not being sarcastic.) 6. Is your boyfriend going with you? Is he allowing you to go? No, Scott is not coming with me but we will try our best to maintain a long-distance relationship. (We have been together for five years.) And no, he is not "letting" me go; I never asked his permission. 7. Is anybody coming with you that you already know? No, but I will meet my co-volunteers at staging (orientation) and hopefully they will become friends. 8. Will you have to learn a new language? Yes. Namibia's official language is English, but most people speak Afrikaans or a tribal language as their first language. I'll be learning one of these during my training. 9. What do your parents think? They are happy, proud and very supportive. 10. Why are you joining the Peace Corps? a) To help other people. Is it really fair that I have more than a human would ever need? I have never gone hungry and never lacked an education, a job, nor the opportunities to get a better education and a better job if I so desired. I know that by going to Namibia, I will not be saving the world, but I do hope to even out the balance a teeny bit. b) Adventure. I have never done anything exciting or scary. My world has always been a small bubble with wistful glimpses to the outside. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "do one thing every day that scares you." By going to Namibia for 2 years I will try to make up for 25 years of doing NOTHING that scares me. And by doing this, I hope to break through some personal barriers. More on this later on. c) My resume. By being able to say "I was a Peace Corps Volunteer," I will be able to earn scholarships for grad school, get super jobs and give myself more opportunities in general.

One of the benefits of being a PCV is that some companies give you discounts on their merchandise. One of these wonderful companies is Chaco, a shoe company that makes sandals for hard core adventures like hiking, camping and so on. They give us a 50% discount! I decided to buy a pair of these shoes because I think they'll be quite useful, but after trying them on, my superficial side (small, but currently very loud) is unhappy. Check it out:

I am super grateful to Chaco for providing us with the huge discount. But...these sandals are just not flattering. I'm not sure what to do with them but I'm pretty sure I don't want to wear them...

As happy and excited I am to be going to Namibia in a month, there are also numerous reasons why I would rather not leave my safe little home here in PQ. I will share one of these reasons with you now:

The sand spider, resident of southern Africa. Also known as (according to the blog of a current PCV in Namibia) a "hair cutter." It crawls into your bed while you are sleeping and cuts your hair to use in its nest. As stated on the Wikipedia page, it is "very shy and unlikely to bite humans," however, there is also no known antivenom for its bite, and "toxicology studies have demonstrated that the venom is particularly potent...causing blood vessel leakage and tissue destruction. Envenomations of laboratory animals have yielded devastating results, with many of the test subjects developing multiorgan breakdowns."

I am scared. If anybody would like to get me a going-away present, I would like a two-year supply of razors (to shave my head) and a set of steel pajamas. Thank you.

I got my invitation! I am going to Namibia!!!! I will be an English language teacher at the secondary or upper primary levels. That means students grades 5-12.

Here is my timeline:

October 29-31, 2007: Orientation in the U.S. (location tba)November 2 - December 28, 2007: Pre-Service Training in NamibiaDecember 28, 2007 - December 28, 2009: Peace Corps Service

YAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally, I never wanted to go to Africa. It just seemed like a place I couldn't handle: the sun beating down, me living in a mud hut, riding a donkey to and from work. When my placement officer told me he'd have to find a new location for me, I told him "NOT AFRICA." Then I thought about it for a couple hours and realized how stupid it is for me to pigeonhole the entire continent into an ignorant, stereotypical image. (Orientalism, anyone?) Africa has so much more to offer than that! And if I do end up in a mud hut, so what? One of the reasons I'm joining the PC is to have an adventure, isn't it? So I called up my p.o. and said that if he wanted to send me to Africa, I would give it everything I have.

It looks like I'm going to Africa at the end of October. :o)

I called my placement officer today and he said that he's been waiting for my call?! and since I didn't call him, I've missed the deadline for a September departure!

I finally spoke to my placement officer yesterday. He told me that being an Asian-American in Eastern Europe would bring me a ton of attention and possibly discrimination, but not to the point of physical danger. Most EE countries are totally homogenous and so any non-white person sticks out like a sore thumb. He told me to think about it and call him Wednesday morning if I don't want to go there after all, and if so he'd try to place me in another part of the world but I won't be able to go until December or January.

I thought about it for five minutes or so and said, screw it! I am going to Eastern Europe in September, period. If it is difficult, fine. I can handle it. That's part of the adventure. It'll be an educational experience for the people in that country.

So tomorrow is Wednesday, and since he won't be hearing from me, maybe that means my invitation will be overnighted to me tomorrow...???

I called my screening nurse this morning and she told me that she would be reviewing my paperwork shortly today...and then this afternoon at work someone emailed me asking for my transcript!!...Which is great because that means my file was given to my placement officer, which means that my invitation is coming!!! Wahoo!

I faxed in my form a few days ago and still haven't recieved medical clearance. I know they got the form because I called to confirm it...so what the heck?! I called the screening nurse just now and her voicemail says that she won't be able to return calls for the next 3-4 days. So...more waiting.

Am I not destined to join the Peace Corps?? This is getting ridiculous. I mean if they were still working on September nominees, that would be fine, but people are getting their October and November invitations now. I am starting to lose hope.

I got an email (and a phone call and a fedex) from the Peace Corps a couple days ago saying that my Eyeglass Prescription Form is incomplete; in other words, I need to buy some glasses so that they know what my measurements are in case I lose my glasses while I'm overseas. So I rushed out and bought some glasses and faxed in the form...hopefully all is well and my medical clearance is coming soon. It should be, since this is the only thing that they said was missing.

On Tuesday I started my 3-week job teaching conversational English to a group of Chinese students. If you have ever thought that Asian students (not Asian-Americans, but actual Asian-Asians) were demure, quiet and well-behaved, you can just forget it. To put it bluntly, I hate them. Those words usually don't come easily to me, but they do right now. They are rude as all hell and have the attention span of a kindergartner, especially if you put them in front of a computer. That is all I have to say about that.

(Actually, it's not.) So with that said, I am starting to second-guess my upcoming job as an English teacher in Eastern Europe. I'll be teaching high school students. I am not one of those people who loves kids or has so much to say to them, and I am certainly not a fan of teenagers. Do I really want to teach high schoolers for two years??? Can I put up with them?

This is crazy talk, because the point of joining the Peace Corps was (and still is) to help people. I want to make a difference and I also want to do something special and something adventurous. Still, my experiences so far this week have not led me to believe that teaching is something I'll be passionate about, in the long run.

That is not entirely true though. The people that I want to teach are the immigrants, refugees, migrant workers; the people that came here out of necessity who HAVE to learn English for the sake of their families' futures. You know, the ones who actually want to be there. Not some little punks who came here because their daddies made them come...like the ones I'm teaching now. I don't know if it is possible to ever avoid them, though. In the ESL industry, you cannot be picky because there are so many of us who teach it.

Since I've been so frustrated watching everybody get their invitations but me, I decided to be proactive and give the PC a call. I mean, maybe that would get them going on reviewing my medical info so that they can finally clear me and send me the invite, right? Nope. The guy looked up my file and told me it would come by August 1. Oh great. Just four weeks to go.

Even though I had been extremely anxious and jumpy about getting my invitation in the mail, I was starting to calm down and accept the fact that it'll come eventually. So I logged onto the yahoo group today only to find out that more people are recieving their invitations and one person just got an invitation for OCTOBER! I'm leaving in SEPTEMBER! How is this fair?!

On a more positive note (and I do feel the need to put one in here), I have been working long shifts, so now I get 3-day weekends. It is awesome. Great for the summer.

According to some postings on the Yahoo Peace Corps group, "most" September Eastern Europe nominees have recieved their invitations. So where is mine?!

Anyway on a happier note, I got my dental clearance today. I guess my teeth are Peace Corps-worthy. I can't wait to get to [insert country here] and start putting up pictures of my adventures and interesting stories of what I have seen and done every day.

Working a 9-5 really sucks! I hate to say this but I wish I was back in school. School is a lot of work around midterms and finals, but it is so interesting all the rest of the time. You learn cool stuff and feel your gray matter expanding. At work I am just a robot, mechanically shuffling papers or typing meaningless words. Yay for books, though. At least I can learn cool stuff on my own. But still, the real world kinda bites.

I graduated! After all this time...what a relief. I can hardly believe it. I intend to: